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1800rue · 1 year

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Keith Kogane X Reader: Fluff Alphabet

gender: gender neutral

type: fluff alphabet by @snk-warriors

acronyms: f/c = favorite color

characters: keith kogane

warnings: maybe out of character keith?

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

He enjoy's any quality time you both spend together. However, you- besides Shiro, are one of the people he's really close with. So he likes to train with you and show you some new moves he could use some criticism on. He also enjoys you showing off some of your moves.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

You understand him better then anyone. That's what made him know you were on the one for him. You can contrl his anger issues and calm him down when he seems to just- go all out- if you know what I mean.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Not the best at comfort, but I headcanon (or is this canon, idk) he struggles through he's on panic attacks. Everyone has them, so there's nothing to be ashamed about. He wants you to be able to go to him when you're down or on the verge of panic attacks. He would try his best to stop you from crying, for example, rubbing your back, whispering in your ear, combing your hair with his fingers, or just holding you when you need him the most.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He just wants you to be happy. If he's with you, there's no other place he's rather be. He's travel hell and back with you if it was possible. He's basically traveled through space for/with you, so hes got that all setted.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Somewhat like Lance, he's a switch between passive and dominant. He likes to hear what you have to say and will never deny any of your ideas, unless there stupid. Then yes, he will have to take charge, but he does like to have others pitch in- sometimes.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He's a hothead. So going into this relationship with him you were bound to run into arguments here and there. He would never actually do anything to physically hurt you, but he may say something and you let it sink in for days until he apologies. He tends to say sorry at first, but leaves and doens't talk to you until he's ready. He doesn't enjoy arguing with you, but sometimes he can't help but raise his voice at you for something stupid.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He had no idea where his life was going until he laid eyes on you and actually got to know you. He felt like he had a place in the world and that would be with you through out everything. Good or bad. He is aware, how can he not be. You make sure he's eating. You make sure he's sleeping properly. That he's not overdoing it training. Taking breaks and having some time with friends and loved ones. He won't admit it in front of the others, but he sheds a tear when you do these small things for him.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He lies sometimes. And normally, you'll catch him in the lie but before you could question he's already gone. In his room, his lion, or even just out on his own somewhere. He doesn't want to lie to you because he knows youd never lie to him, but everyonee lies about something. You both know you have your personal problems, but you both want to get through those problems together.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

As said in 'G' he wouldn't know where he would be going in life if he hadn't met you. You gave him a purpose to keep fighting. He would want to try new things with you,but he would never forgive himself if he saw you hurt and he could have done something to prevent it. As said in 'H' as well, you both want to help each other overcome personal problems one step at a time.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He mostly gets jealous at Lance when he 'play-flirt' with you. This was also when you both weren't even dating yet. Yup, it was that early he was alreadt getting jealous. "Y/N. It's time for traning, get moving or I'm adding in an extra 10 mintues for the rest of the week!" Lance would notice and tease the half-Galra Paladin about, but he pushes the Cuban away. "Is someone a little bit, oh what's the word? 'Jealous~'?'" "Shut up, Lance." He tends to talk to you about his jealousy, days after the incident had happen.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

You would say he's an amazing kisser, but he says otherwise. He tenses up mid kiss, unsure when to pull away so you're normally dominant when it comes to kissing and making out. The first kiss? He made the first move at a family celebration of yours. That was also the time he confessed his feelings for you.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

-kinda answered already, but I'll add detail- It was your siblings graduation party. You invited Keith and the others, but they didn't want to intrude in your family celebration. However, you were shocked to see Keith by your doorstep. You invited him in and introduced to your family. Of course, your mother asked if you both were dating and you both blushed. You father pulled your mother away and apologized. At the end, everyone was heading home while some slept over. Keith, not wanting to intrdude any longer, pulled you outside to have a small talk with you. How your week was, if your doing okay in school. Until he watched as you were about to walk back into after your father called to help clean-up. As you turned, the Galra grabbed your wrist and turned you back toward him. Gefore you questione, he smashed his lips to yours and you were both shocked. You actully, non-intended, melted into the kiss. Moments later you pulled away for air. Keiith pants, watching you smile softly. "Is there- something you wanted to say, Mullet?" You teased, panting for air as Kaith blushed a deep red. "I-" It was written all over his face. He fell for you. Hard. And you could tell. "I-I love you, Y/N." You giggled as you pushed his bangs back and kissed his forehead, "Took ya' long enough."

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He is flustered when it came to proposing to you. You've been dating for years, he didn't want it to be taken away by a silly question. Howver, through all you've been together, meetings, all the Voltron show bizz, saving the universe, he couldn't find a time to ask you until the end of it all. This was day's after Allura's sacfrice. He found you on your balcony one starry night, looking up into space. The same place you watched the lions leave once more, ready to fight along side new Paladins. His hand was behind his back, gripping a small box as his other covered his mouth as he couched, attemping to get your attention. At first, you both talked and laughed about your pst adventures. You already missed your time as a Voltron Paladin, but in a couple of minutes, you're life was about to change forever. As you were distracted by the shooting star, Keith was able to sneak behind you and bend down on one knee. You called his name before you turned around, almost falling to the floor when you saw him on one knee with a ring box in his hand, revealing a beautful (f/c) gem in the middle of the silver metal. He promised to stay with you until the day he dies. He will never let you do anything on you're own anymore. He will be with you every step of the way. As you cheered 'YES!' and tackled your fiancé to the ground with a hug, All the others watched from the door and Lance snapped a quick picture of his friend getting attacked with kisses and hugs.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Baby/Babe.

When he's cheeky, Sweetheart.

He mostly calls you by any preferred nickname, but those two are his top pick to use for you.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He tries to hide it, but is terribly at it and accidently blurts it out durning an agrument with Lance, causing everyone to literally freeze and drop whatever they had in their hands. He didn't see anybody after that 1 afternoon until the next day. He saw Lance hand two 20's over to Pidge, who snickered at Lance's deadpanned face. Keith being in love is nothing to joke about. If he say's he loves someone, he'll be dead fucking serious. He wouldn't tell anyone if he wasn't.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He's so shy- oml. Not as shy in private though- ahem ahem. Moving on- Keith likes to hold you close while cuddling. His also likes to rub your thigh now and than, catching you off guard sometimes. He tends to hide your relationshp to others, but of he see's another person on you he'l drag you back and leave a kiss to your lips, loud and clear enough for the other perosn to see. He sends them a death glare saying 'touch them, and you die.' Plain and simple.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He respects you so much. If no body worthships the ground you step on, their nothing to him. He does everything he can to make every date night a special one. Little doesn he know, just being with him is special.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Cliché. To make you happy? Just be with you. That's all he needs to do in order to make you really happy. He can be romantic at times, while other times he's got no clue what he's doing at first and lets you to take the wheel. Don't get use to all this power though, because he's a fast learner.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

100% he believes in you. He tells you if you seriously know what your doing, he'll be your number one supporter, trailing behind you. He wants to help to the best of his ability, but if he doesn't think it's a good idea he will step in and ask you to re-think your ideas.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He would prefer for a certain routine, but he also finds it fun how excited you get when you want to try new things. He's like the black cat in the relationship while your the golden reteriver. Of course, he will never let you do anything that will, or may, get yourself killed.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He'll listen to what you need to say and try his best to give the best advice his can. However, there are sometimes where he doesn't know what to do but ask for some help from Shiro. Give him time and he'll try his best to help you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

If someone hurts you he's going full Galra. Fangs and claws are out, baby. Better start running, You're so important to him, he wouldn't know what to do without you. He never thought he'd be here, but now that your in his life he's doing everything he can to keep you in it.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

I headcanon he's hands, oher then Lances, are cold and somewhat rough. He laughs at your cute reactions when he stuffs his hands up your shirt, rubbing your bare skin. This leads to a all out tickle fight. Laughter and sceams could be heard from down the halls.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He doesn't hate it, but he would want his personal space once ina while. He also does the same for you. However, other times when you do hug him he may never let you go. You're so warm and cuddly he'll basically use you as a blanket/bed from now on.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Doesn't matter, because he's never going to lose you. If you're away on a mission, that's something else. He'll write to you when he can and smile when he finds you wrote back to him.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He. Will. Kill. For. You. Okay, too extreme. But he will try his best to do anything for you. If you need help, he'll be there in less then 2 seconds.

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gravedangerahead · 4 months

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I don't know, buddy. I think this should make you rethink saying stuff like "I hate microlabels" in the first place? Not to put you on blast or anything, you're just the latest in a long line of people I've seen making arguments like these.

There's basically no genuine problem you can have with microlabels that does not simply apply to labels in general

I think it's important to be in community and solidarity with people independently of whether you have the exact same label, and to realize there are plenty of shared experiences across different queer identities.

Practically none of it is the exclusive realm of one particular identity and we don't need to be atomized. And it is, in fact, in our best political interest to stick together and fight together

Labels are a way of classifying and categorizing the infinitely diverse range of human experience. That can be helpful and that can cause problems. (I think there are criticisms of diagnostics that might apply, and some of our words actually originate in that realm.) It's important to remember that they are not material reality and they do not define your experiences, but are merely a culturally defined tool to help you understand them, that may be more or less useful given the situation

I'm always quick to tell people that labels are meant to be helpful and if trying to find one is stressing them out rather than helping, a label is simply not required. Those people might still feel like it's important to them to find the right words, and I'm not gonna pretend to know better than them

There are plenty of people who are perfectly happy being just queer, and not trying to figure out their identities any further than that. There are people going through intense anxiety while trying to figure out if they're lesbian or bi. Why do we need those intermediary labels then? Do they just atomize us? Are they unnecessary boxes? Or is that only a problem when it comes to those newfangled ones at the end of the acronym?

I think there are more people who feel like they have to figure out where exactly they fall in the big 4 identities than people who are distressed because they feel like they have to figure out a microlabel they fit in, tbqh. And there's plenty of separatist sentiment among them too

Plenty of people find meaning and expression in being butch or femme. Why shouldn't people choose a new word that they feel best defines their own unique gender identity? Why shouldn't somebody on the ace or aro spectrum try to figure out if other people have a similar experience with attraction as they do?

People having more words to describe their identities is not the problem. At all. If somebody has decided to use a microlabel and is happy with it, what exactly is the issue?

If you actually stand with every queer person, if you're in solidarity with every anti-oppression fight of any kind, the problem of political isolation and community dilution goes away.

If you treat all labels as tools that can be played with, experimented with and not gatekept, taken up and abandoned, changed, or simply ignored if you don't want or need one, the problem of emotional distress goes away.

Neither problem is exclusive to microlabels.

#rapha rambles #queer #microlabels #Maybe I'm burned off on ace discourse #but stop trying to find acceptable targets #lgbtqia #lgbt+#queer identities #I didn't know asexuality was a thing as a teenager #learning I'm asexual #learning I'm aroace #was very helpful to me #and I'm not gonna stamd here and tell people labels are useless

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reallyromealone · 3 months

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Title: merry-go-round of life

Pairing: Ryou x male reader

Fandom: Yu-gi-yoh!

Warnings: male reader - reincarnation - fluff

Notes: (A.R.N) is an acronym for alternative reader name and (A.B.N) is alternative bakura name.

This is written for a friend

Thank you for being my friend kaida.

☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️

They say that soulmates no matter what, will always find one another, time and time again.

Round and round through the dancefloor of time they will see each other and carry on in their waltz of life, with each reincarnation the love grows stronger and more vibrant with each step and breath.

And this time, it started with a bus stop on a rainy spring day where two young men sought shelter from the elements and unknowingly started the clock once more.

Rain pelted the old wooden bus stop as (name) rushed under, clothes soaked as he looked at the heavy rainfall worried "it's gonna last a while, get comfortable" a voice spoke gently as (name) turned to see a white haired teen sitting on the bench, hair drenched and sticking to his face and neck "I saw the weather yet I still forgot my umbrella, could you believe that" he chuckled as (name) sat on the bus seat "I completely forgot to check the weather today, woken up late for class" (name) said to the stranger "ah, another victim to the cursed alarm clock" he said with a slight tease "though rain is needed, the heavens are cleansing the earth after all" his voice tender and gentle with each word, (name) felt pulled in by its calmness as he listened to him.

"So where are you coming from, stranger?" (Name) asked the white haired teen with a soft smile "oh, I came back from a few duels... You know how it is" (name) looked at him in awe as he got closer "that's so cool! You know how to duel?!"

"Y-yeah, do you?"

"Nah, it always looked intimidating ya know? Though I always thought it was cool-- oh I'm (name) by the way! (name) (last name)!" He introduced with a grin and offered his hand to the other who took it gently "Ryou Bakura, it's a pleasure to meet you (name)... I may not be the most amazing player but I do fancy myself pretty decent... Maybe I can show you" he offered as he fiddled with his hands and the smile (name) had on his face was one he wanted to photograph and look at forever.

He wanted that smile on his face every day.

They spoke endlessly, each word they grew more and more fond of one another as the two scooted closer and found they had much in common.

They felt like they had spoken to one another all their lives.

"Oh, the rain stopped"

"It did..." (Name) seemed disappointed that it stopped and he was, he didn't want to stop talking to Ryou... "Could we-- could we hang out sometime?" (Name) asked hopefully and Ryou looked startled but happy as he nodded, giving the other his email on a scrap paper and the two parted ways, both giddy as they rushed to email one another.

Messages were traded, the two sitting on their computers throughout the night messaging and joking around.

They couldn't hang out again till a week and a half later, (name) giddy as he put on an outfit, subconsciously he wanted to look good for the white haired teen, impress him even as their first meeting he looked like a wet rat.

(Name) had his allowance saved along with his part time job money for this hangout, he was not gonna let his new friend pay for a thing! Heck yeah! It was gonna be awesome!

(Name) hyped himself in the mirror before leaving, a stupid smile on his face, not knowing he had done this countless times before.

It was a fall afternoon, (A.R.N) ran down the old cobble road to the forest outside of the old farming village with a stupid smile, a basket of treats in his hand.

"(A.B.N)!" (Name) called with a smile as the young man looked from his book to see the other, a soft smile on his face as he stood up and watched as (name) ran to him, only to tumble over an old branch "are you alright?!"

"I-i was just falling for you, I suppose"(A.R.N) huffed a laugh to the shoe makers son who snorted a laugh "come, let's get you sitting" he whispered to his lover who let him lead him to their secret spot, a spot just for them.

(A.R.N) rested his head as his beloved continued reading out loud to him, this was often how they spent their time, just enjoying their time together.

"I hope you weren't waiting long" (name) said as he got to the cafe they agreed on, (name)s breath taken from him as he looked at the other who had the sweetest expression of slight confusion as (name) stared stunned "are you alright?" He asked worriedly, hand on (name)s forehead and (name) snapped from his thoughts as he took Ryou's hand gently "all's good, just... You look good"

The summer heat was heavy as (ABN) looked flustered as she stared at her wedding dress "thank you, you also look quite lovely" the two dressed in the best clothing they had as they stood at the altar, a tailor's son and a noble man's daughter marrying in a Paris Church... How odd it was to an outsider.

But to them, it was everything "I (ARN), vow to love and cherish you through sickness and health... I will sew you the finest dresses and promise to love you till my dying days" he whispered so sweetly to his love, the other smiling as they kissed gently and sealing their marriage, the church door slamming open.

And a gun was fired.

"Don't worry, I got it" (name) smiled as he paid for their things, Ryou shyly sipped his drink as they sat at a booth "so how are you? How's everything?!" (Name) asked as they got comfortable, Ryou noting how he was like an excited dog as he hung onto every word the white haired man spoke, not realizing at this exact moment he fell in love with Ryou once again.

You wouldn't realize how many drinks you would go through as you spoke to someone you loved, Ryou rambling about dueling.

"Sorry-- you're probably tired about hearing about dueling"

"I have never wanted to hear anything more than you talk so passionately"

The young poet looked flustered as (ARN) stood behind the library desk, watching the others adjust their glasses as the librarian looked so lovingly "you're... You're really talented at that... I think I could hear you talk about it forever" (ABN) looked at the wooden floors of the carpet, the two dressed in sixties clothing as (ABN) finished a poetry class "thanks, I hope to be the next Emily Dickinson..."

"I believe in you"

Ryou felt flustered at (name)s encouragement as the sun set before them "I-I know this might be dumb but... Would you wanna go on a date? If not that's totally fine, I get it--"

(Name) kissed him lovingly, like every forest date and wedding and jazz club and forgotten corner of the library, he kissing him so so lovingly "I would be a dumbass to not accept that"

And just like that, the merry-go-round of life continued, their song still playing and their dance never ending.

Just like every time before.

#yu gi oh x reader #yu gi oh x male reader #ryou bakura x male reader #ryou Bakura x reader #fluff #anime x male reader #anime x reader

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weirdmarioenemies · 11 months

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Name: BaNaNa Boy

Debut: Mario Kart 8

In the past, we have gone over some of the most silly and notable fictional sponsors appearing in the Mario Kart series, but one has always stood out as the most a-peeling, even back then! That is none other than BaNaNa Boy. Who is this mystical Boy? Why does he capitalize such seemingly unimportant letters? Let’s discuss.

BaNaNa Boy is, I must assume, the provider of the Banana Peels that are so important to the Mario Kart series! It is quite obvious, I must say. The peel is in the logo, and the slogan, “Let one slip!”, refers to slipping on them. I am also reasonably certain that this slogan is based on the phrase “let one rip”, referring to farting. Awesome!

I have to wonder how BaNaNa Boy got their start! I don’t know how long lore-wise banana peels have been used for kart races. Maybe at first the Kongs were more than happy to donate their used banana peels for the races, but as the karting franchise grew and grew, they needed more, a dedicated provider... a BaNaNa Boy! Someone BaNaNas for Bananas! Or maybe it is a more humble origin, and BaNaNa Boy was a small novelty shop, providing banana peels and other items to prank your friends with. When a large amount of banana peels were needed, one of their loyal customers suggested this small business, and that was their big break!

It may seem like producing large quantities of bananas only to use their peels would be incredibly wasteful. But do not fret!

Let One Slip right down your esophagus! As seen if you look closely at the vending machines in Super Bell Subway, BaNaNa Boy sells beverages, presumably made with the peeled bananas! You can find them wherever you find canned water from Toad Harbor and canned Roy Smooth Sounds. I would also like to assume that BaNaNa Boy provides bananas for other establishments, like Coconut Cafe, which we also see in Super Bell Subway! I know I would love a BaNaNa muffin!

I have been writing “BaNaNa” so many times here. I love the wacky capitalization! It makes me pronounce it in my mind like “bah nah nah” rather than “banana”. Do you think it stands for something? I think it can be a sort of acronym, representing their three main products: Bananas, Nanners, and ‘Nas! All brought to you by a Boy. A Boy with a dream.

A Boy with a dream of stardom! Advertised in New York Minute, Da Big Apple itself, is BaNaNa Boy, the musical! The smash hit musical! Is BaNaNa Boy such a huge and popular brand that it has become a multimedia franchise? I like to think that it is not. It’s still just a banana supplier. But now it has a musical, and everyone loves it! Wouldn’t you want to see what it’s all about? I would!

Maybe it follows the story of the company’s rise to worldwide success. Or maybe it is an entirely fictional adventure about BaNaNa Boy the banana peel and his wacky friends... and foes! BaNaNa Boy would be the hero defending the banana trees and the entire ecosystem around them, and the whole thing would distract people from the actual environmental damage the brand is actually causing just like any corporation. What a fun spectacle! Visit the concession stand and treat yourself to a BaNaNa peel packaged in its own single-use plastic wrapper!

Did you know that Super Bell Subway contains this incredible city map? That’s the subway terminal itself in pink, with train lines leading out, and you can even see Toad Harbor in box A2, and Moo Moo Meadows in box D3!

And did you know that this city is, in fact, the one seen in N64 Rainbow Road? It is so so SO cool and awesome to see such continuity in a franchise where there is so often none at all! As a wise woman once said, “More like Mario Kart Lore!” But how is this relevant? Look at the first map again! It’s blurry, but the text on each side is the names of a whole lot of the sponsors seen advertising throughout the game! This is not just any city, but apparently a capital of the racing world, full of storefronts or maybe even headquarters of businesses from BaNaNa Boy to Undead Motors. Hey, BaNaNa Boy! That’s the one we were talking about before this tangent!

According to section A, BaNaNa Boy (misspelled Banana Boy) is located in box C3. The labels on the map itself are nearly unreadable, but as they list some the same businesses multiple times even in the same boxes, I am inclined to ignore them. So let’s look at box C3, home of BaNaNa Boy!

Here it is! Somewhere in this image is BaNaNa Boy (location). It certainly looks like all residential buildings to me, though! Are you telling me they did not want to take the time to model individual unique businesses on this background setting far away from the actual racetrack, and/or did not plan in advance that a DLC track would establish that these locations are unique in the first place? Preposterous! Clearly BaNaNa Boy works from home and you can come visit him. In real life!

One more thing! Mario Kart Tour is very insistent upon people playing as Miis, with multiple racing suits available, each treated as its own character. I am not a fan of most of these, as they are usually just based on a character who is already playable, so I would rather play as the real character! However, there are some really fun and creative ones based on other things from the Mario series, my favorite probably being this one based on the end-of-level castles! If they can make a suit based on this, surely they could make one based on Banana... and maybe even BaNaNa Boy itself, seeing as this game celebrates the sponsors wherever it can, to the point of even putting their stickers on some racing helmet! It would absolutely become the best racing suit to me instantly. You could pretend you’re playing as THE BaNaNa Boy! I love selling out! BaNaNa Boy paid me to write this post! (in exposure)

#BaNaNa Boy #banana #mario kart #mario kart 8 #mario kart tour #mario #mario entities #mario brands #mod chikako

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idk-bruh-20 · 1 year

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Irondad fic ideas #110

The Iron Spider suit is a completely sealed environment. During the pandemic, Peter has been using this suit to stay safe on his patrols and to give Tony and May peace of mind

However, he quickly realizes that the suit also gives him an amazing opportunity. In these new and upsetting times, with everyone stuck at home, afraid and isolated from each other, Peter, in the Iron Spider suit, can pretty much go wherever he wants

So, during the pandemic, Peter expands his usual patrol routine. In addition to his daily grind of getting cats out of trees and stopping bicycle thieves, he starts delivering food and other necessary items to those who can't leave their homes

Maybe someone is immunocompromised, so even after lockdown ends they need to stay inside. Maybe someone is sick and staying home to heal and to keep others safe. Peter visits their fire escapes with groceries, offers to do their laundry for them and walk their dogs. He entertains kids with sick parents through their windows. He gives someone a hug who has been stuck alone in their room for days. It becomes commonplace to see Spider-Man swinging through the city with, essentially, care packages.

Eventually, people start leaving notes on their windows about things they need. Most of the notes start like, "This is only for if you're not too busy!" but Peter loves being able to bring someone their favorite tea, or to help a young mother stock back up on baby formula. Some of the notes are about other people, "My friend at 123 Something Street is sick and he really loves this one pho place..." All of the notes end with sincere gratitude.

(Some of the notes just are gratitude. Paragraphs and fanart and so many people expressing their thanks.)

In this way, the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man keeps everyone connected and cared for, even if they first thought they were alone

Bonus:

Inspired by Peter, Tony starts up a new charity (alongside all of his other pandemic relief efforts). The charity allows people to make requests for things they need and to note gifts they'd like to send to others.

It's all ranked by urgency, with the most vital stuff getting sent to people right away. But, the public is also encouraged to donate to a fund (with Tony matching all their donations) to make the less urgent things happen too. Because yes, needs are important. But fulfilling small wants -- giving each other things that aren't exactly required but are deeply appreciated -- is how we show we really care

In this way, the whole city can be inspired by Spider-Man

(Without even having to leave their homes -- since, obviously, the charity's care items are delivered by Iron Legion robots)

Whatever acronym Tony uses for the charity's name, it has something to do with Spider-Man and how, in spite of tough times, we are all still one big neighborhood

This fic idea is dedicated to @lbozzie! Happy belated birthday! I am leaving this fic idea on your fire escape for you to find <3

#irondad fic ideas #peter parker #tony stark #irondad and spiderson #iron dad and spider son #spider-man #iron man #fic idea #fic ideas

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artemisandhersilverbow · 7 days

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Ok, if you don't want to engage in some (queer) tin foiling... scroll away.

So first off, I think this song rules. It was one of the few that I let just vibe instead of doing what my brain usually does, which is scrutinize lyrics/marvel over the layers of meaning. It feels like it has Kill Bill energy and that was good enough for me.

My Albatross variation of the TTPD vinyl showed up yesterday — TTPD is perhaps the best her team has done btw — and was pouring over the lyrics last night and paused on I Can Fix Him (No, Really I Can) in particular.

The last line has been one that most people have chuckled at. Like she spent a whole song building up this menacing conceit: "this boy is bad news, but he can't hold a candle to me — I'll handle him." Only to be like, lol jk at the end.

But seeing that last line written out this way scratched at my brain... she really doesn't scream that line at all. Why is it in all caps? And while we're at it... I mean it's an accepted spelling, but technically the incorrect spelling of 'whoa.' It kind of felt, by putting it in caps, like she was calling attention to it. Was it an acronym? Not that I could tell.

But... just to double check... how had she spelled woah/whoa prior? The only song I could think of off the top of my head to check was Better Than Revenge. When reading her lyrics you really wont find 99% of the "whoas" in her discography written because they're more like instrumentals.

And that right there is a "whoa." Of course my eyes twitched at the matching colors of the two vids, but I'll get to that. And then I was only able to find one more written "whoa."

Ok, cool.

But back to Better Than Revenge... It struck me that something had been "fixed" about the song. The famous "she's better known for things that she's done on the mattress" line had been swapped out in the rerecording for "he was a moth to the flame she was holding the matches."

So I looked back at I Can Fix Him... could this be a joke/hint about "fixing" him. Like fixing the pronouns? "WOAH" is an intentional misspelling just by comparing it to her own body of work. But it would be rather clever if the "he" she's referring to (at least on this one layer of the song) was her use of that pronoun in her work. It would make the lines "I can fix him / No, really, I can / And only I can" make even more sense, imo. She's the author of this music and she's rerecording it/making it.

What's more is that the collaged flower in the lyric booklet and the aesthetic of the lyric video are giving me um... big Reputation vibes?

Hey kids, spelling is FUN! Am I absolutely living in delulu thinking that Reputation could also be "fixed" re: pronouns? Oh, I don't doubt it. But I needed to get this out of my brain, out into the world, and let the chips fall as they may and always do.

And at least Taylor Nation is also in on the joke...

#i can fix him (no really i can)#gaylor #the tortured poets department the anthology #TTPD #reputation tv #pronouns #hey kids spelling is fun!#WOAH!#*WHOA

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multiplicity-positivity · 10 months

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Overwhelmed? Take a REST!

We’d like to share a coping strategy that we learned in therapy. Lots of systems have been traumatized, are sensitive, or otherwise struggle to deal with Big Emotions. If you find yourself in this position, the REST strategy may work for you!

REST is an acronym that stands for Relax, Evaluate, Set an intention, and Take action. It can help you remove yourself from a stressful or overwhelming situation, process what’s happening, and learn how to act accordingly!

When to use REST?

You can use REST anytime you are feeling overwhelmed with negative emotions. Our system has alexithymia, which makes us unable to distinguish much about our emotions other than whether or not they are Good or Bad. Fortunately, you don’t need to be super in-tuned to your emotions to use REST! You can use this whenever you are feeling bad. If you’re concerned you may hurt yourself or someone else, are close to tears, can’t stop shaking or shouting, or are having trouble catching your breath, these are all signs that you may need to take a step back. Time to put REST into action!

1) Relax

Try and remove yourself from your current situation. This could mean taking a walk or sitting outside, or simply finding a secluded corner to be by yourself for a while. Plan to be away from your current task for 5 minutes.

Once you’re by yourself, take deep breaths to calm down. Think of things that relax you - look at a stimboard, imagine yourself at the beach, pay attention to the world around you, stretch your muscles, or send your friend a quick text. Remember that you cannot think and make decisions as effectively if you are overwhelmed, and calming down is a necessary step to improving your situation.

Different folks will relax in different ways. Feel free to experiment in order to find a way to relax that works for you. Perhaps have one relaxation technique that you can use at home, and another that you can use when you’re out. If you’re trying to relax in a way that’s not working, abandon it and try something different.

2) Evaluate

Once you’ve calmed down and are able to think a bit more clearly, take some time to evaluate your current situation. Ask yourself questions like:

What is happening around me?

What happened that caused me to be overwhelmed?

What am I feeling currently?

Why am I feeling this way?

Don’t judge yourself for your feelings, situation, or initial reactions. Try to simply notice them as indifferently as possible.

3) Set an intention

After you’ve checked in with yourself and evaluated your situation and surroundings, it’s time to set an intention. Here’s where you take some time to think about what you can do or an action you can take to improve what’s going on. Don’t spend time beating yourself up for what has already happened - look ahead to what can be done to make things right. Ask yourself:

What can I do now?

What can be done to improve my situation?

What is my next step?

Plan out what you can do in this moment that will benefit you. Imagine yourself completing the intention you set, and succeeding at it! Try not to set an intention that is unrealistic or unachievable. If you need to break your goal down into smaller steps, that’s okay too!

4) Take action

Finally, it’s time to perform the action you set as your intention. Whether that means apologizing to a coworker after an outburst, keeping your mind busy with a new hobby, breaking your project down into simple steps, making amends with a friend or headmate, or anything else, you have the power to take action when you set intentions! There is no need to rush to action - take your time, go slowly, and be mindful of yourself and your situation as you proceed.

And that’s all there is to it! Remember to use REST any time you feel overwhelmed by your emotions or situation. It’s okay to use REST multiple times a day! This can help you step back from difficult or scary situations, and help you feel more equipped to handle whatever may come your way.

Our system has written down the steps of REST with questions we can ask ourselves on a little note card that we keep in our wallet. Whenever one of us is starting to feel overwhelmed, we take out the card and try to practice REST-ing! It has helped us deal with stress at work, traumatic flashbacks, inner-system strife, and interpersonal conflicts. We hope that learning to REST can help you and your system as much as it’s helped us!

Thanks so much for reading! Remember to treat yourself and your system with kindness and compassion, and have a wonderful day!

(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)

#coping skills #dbt #dbt skills #rest

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jennandblitz · 1 year

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Borderline!Sirius Black

I’ve been meaning to write a post about Borderline Sirius for the longest time, but this is partly inspired by my posting a snippet of a BPD!Sirius fic a while ago and the fact I’ve had this headcanon for over two years now. My Sirius is often written as being Borderline, whether explicit or not. Borderline Sirius is something I’ve become increasingly attached to recently. The more I look at his personality and actions in canon, the more I can see him attached to the criteria of BPD/EUPD. A lot of my feelings about Sirius are from my own personal canon, especially during the First War where the pressure pot of existential dread is an untold stress on all members of the Order, but I think especially Sirius struggled under this pressure due to his personality disorder.

I think the easiest and most structured way to talk about Sirius’ Borderline—which is a complex and deep set of characteristics rooted in trauma and a consistently disrupted childhood, as all Borderline is—is through the diagnostic criteria from the DSM V. To be diagnosed with BPD, one needs to show at least five of the criteria. For ease of reading and to avoid a 3k word text post, I’m going to expand on the ones I think Sirius shows the most and leave others as a few lines.

This should go without saying but here we are, these opinions are my own and do not invalidate or disprove any other headcanons anyone else may have—everyone’s Sirius and their interpretations of him are all valid! If you don’t like my headcanons, DNI and move on!

A note on Bipolar Disorder v Borderline Personality Disorder: I’ve seen both use the same acronym and for ease I’ve taken to saying Borderline rather than BPD, or using the new acronym of EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder). This post is also partly inspired by seeing @soloorganaas’ posts on Bipolar Sirius on my dash in that we need more psychological deep-dives into these characters, looking at their mental illnesses and neurodivergencies outwith canon. That is to say I love Natasha’s posts on Bipolar Sirius and you should all go and read them! Bipolar and Borderline aren’t mutually exclusive and, of course all headcanons exist at once, but in my own experience both Bipolar and Borderline have many overlaps, especially in Sirius’ character.

If you have things you want to add to this post, please feel free to reblog. Though I would kindly discourage any Borderline-bashing, if you have nothing nice to add, DNI. My dream would be to open a discussion about Borderline Sirius and other Black family members who we may headcanon as having BPD—because let’s be real, it’s a family heirloom.

***

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

I think this is the most painful thing to think about because of all the abandonment Sirius has suffered throughout canon. What I think of first are the two-way mirrors; Sirius and James are so very intertwined that they want the ability to communicate at any given moment, even during school. Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment can be demonstrated in several ways, both in clinging to the person, or abandoning the person first in order to paradoxically avoid the hurt of eventual abandonment. I think this is part of Sirius’ reaction during OotP, when he pulls away from everyone due to their perceived abandonment of him—he is alone in the house of his childhood and his friends are leaving to go and do the work he wishes he could do.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

For me, this is the peak of explaining Sirius’ behaviour throughout canon.

I hesitate to call it the Prank because that word isn’t used during canon at all, but for ease of understanding, I will. Borderline patients can have episodes of hypomania, and I do think an episode of mania contributed to Sirius’ actions here, but I also think Sirius split on Remus—ie, his perception of Remus switched from idealised to demonised and devalued. This could be over something so seemingly trivial to an outsider, even something like choosing to sit next to James and not Sirius at the dinner table, or not replying to a note Sirius passed to him. I can see Remus doing something that makes Sirius devalue him to the point of Sirius not seeing how the following events will affect his friend and he sends Snape to the Shack in a moment of impulsivity (more on that later), without truly being cognisant of the consequences of his actions, because he, in that moment, did not see Remus as a person of value.

He absolutely idealises and idolises James Potter (he is Sirius’ Favourite Person—something I could write a whole other post on) and Sirius’ idealisation blinds him to any more sensible actions especially regarding the Fidelius charm. He will go above and beyond to protect James and his family by extension. Peter, and also Remus, are so idealised by Sirius that they are able to do no wrong—perhaps this is why Sirius is able to overlook any slight clues as to Peter’s true allegiances and entrust him as the Secret Keeper.

Harry, by extension, is hugely idealised by his Godfather. Sirius believes he is perfect and that Harry can accomplish anything. When Harry sends his letter in GoF saying his scar hurts, Sirius immediately flies back to protect him, and also breaks into a Wizarding house to use the fire to communicate with Harry. Harry is not above being devalued by Sirius, however: in the Floo-call in OotP, Sirius tells Harry ‘you’re less like your father than I thought’, and to me it’s clear in that moment that Sirius sees Harry as having fundamentally missed the bar of high standards Sirius holds him to.

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

As we know, Sirius was the first Black not to be sorted into Slytherin. I think part of that comes from Sirius’ unstable sense of self, which, according to several studies, comes from the inability to integrate positive and negative traits. Sirius was simultaneously idealised by his parents and family as the scion of the House Black, and then, when he began to not meet their standards, was devalued as a blood traitor. I believe that Sirius developed some dissatisfaction with his life before he was sorted into Gryffindor, which was only heightened by his sorting and then devaluation by his family. This gives Sirius a markedly disturbed sense of self, which I think we can see during PoA where Sirius’ entire personality becomes getting revenge on Peter, then swiftly switches to being Harry’s Godfather once Peter has been caught.

4. Impulsivity in at least 2 areas that are potentially self-damaging. (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)

Sirius’ recklessness is well characterised in canon, imo. Simply put, he spends recklessly—the Firebolt for Harry—and we are well aware of his substance abuse during OotP. We see his recklessness during PoA also, where he comes to Hogwarts despite knowing that there are Dementors and Aurors looking for him, because he wants to find Peter. He also breaks into a Wizarding house during GoF in order to Floo-call Harry, which obviously could potentially end badly.

As above, I also think The Prank is a symptom of Sirius’ impulsivity. Borderlines often say and do things in the heat of those splitting moments which can be self-damaging in more than the physical ways listed above, such as ending friendships or starting arguments, and I do think the Prank is damaging to Sirius’ view of himself, his position within the friend group of the Marauders and especially his view in James’ eyes, regardless of whether the Marauders forgave Sirius quickly or not.

5. Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.

Okay, this isn’t explicit in canon, but I do think Sirius’ actions at the Department of Mysteries are part and parcel of his suicidal ideation. This passive devaluation of his own life leads him to put himself in danger for Harry—who becomes his FP in James’ absence—and his recklessness goes beyond the above criteria. His escape from Azkaban in PoA is similarly reckless. No one has escaped Azkaban yet Sirius, who has spent twelve years punishing himself for the death of his FP, is willing to try, such that he values his life so little.

Admittedly, this criteria is also largely based around my own headcanons especially during the First War. I believe Sirius’ recklessness with his own life is marked during this time, especially if anything should happen to the other Marauders, Sirius’ internal monologue may often turn to suicidal ideation.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Ooh, this is a big one. I instantly think of Sirius’ immediate, marked happiness when Harry says he would like to come and live with him at the end of PoA—everything else is immediately unimportant when Sirius’ Godson (and Favourite Person) is talking to him. When Harry first arrives at Grimmauld Place in OotP, Sirius is jovial if a little concerned about Harry, but playful nonetheless. This changes very abruptly when Molly raises concerns about Harry being brought up to speed about Voldemort. We also see Sirius in a depressive state when he is told not to accompany Harry to his hearing.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.

How else would he survive the emptiness of Azkaban if he didn’t already know how that emptiness felt? Welp, I’m giving myself feelings.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

*gestures vaguely at the whole Shrieking Shack scene*

Beyond that, Sirius’ fury during OotP when he and Molly argue is also important here. I want to note also the difference between hot anger and cold anger, in that I think Sirius is very much feeling cold anger in this moment when he is arguing with Molly. Although I largely headcanon Sirius as experiencing a lot of ‘hot’ anger—that is to say, shouting and yelling, red-faced and furious—especially during the First War, I do think that being in Grimmauld Place in OotP makes Sirius lean towards ‘cold’ anger—more calculating, more biting and sharp—like his anger when Harry questions him about the Family Tree and when he and Snape argue over Harry’s Occlumency lessons. Perhaps we don’t see ‘hot’ anger from Sirius often during OotP, but we do see plenty of ‘cold’ anger from him, as well as a healthy dose of resentment and bitterness.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

Sirius’ actions and reactions in OotP are classic, imo, dissociative symptoms, specifically being back in the house where large amounts of his childhood trauma and the seat of his personality disorder took root.

***

Overall, I think looking at our favourite characters through these psychological lenses really changes how we interact with them, both in canon and fandom settings. There are so many great takes about what it means for these characters to be neurodivergent in many different ways, and I’m sure there is a whole host more to say about Sirius’ mental health, whether he be Borderline or not, that I won’t cover here because this is going to be over 2k words.

If you made it to the end, I salute you! Thank you for listening to me ramble about Borderline!Sirius and how dear he is to me! 🖤

#borderline Sirius Black #Sirius Black #sirius #hp meta #hp #harry potter #house of black #bpd sirius #bpd!Sirius #Borderline!Sirius #borderline sirius

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prodbyblush · 1 year

Note

happy new year pretty blush!!!! hope you got angpao❤️ can i request lil drabbles or headcanons of niragi and chishiya with some freak of an inventor and engineer crush? like she's constantly holed up in her lab making bots and explosives and guns and even makes them special little things like cutesy grenades that dont look like grenades ??

ｎｏｗｌｏａｄｉｎｇ …

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 100%

ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ!

・❥・ requested

an: belated happy new year to you too, anony! sadly i did not get angpao because it's me who's giving away angpao's now : ( for context, angpao's are those red envelopes filled with money. usually elders give those to their grandkids but since i'm an adult already i guess i don't qualify anymore. tragic i know. but hey i'm not that old!

ps. in general sense, reader here is a weapon engineer.

→ fem!reader

Chishiya:

• the conversations are to die for. call it an aphrodisiac but the flow of questions and responses are so smooth that the two of you wouldn't notice that time kept ticking. because that's how engrossed he is on learning about the latest news on weaponry and it's purposes. • when his co workers knew that he is dating an engineer, the immediate response he gets is "oh they're boring" but it's actually the opposite! • so much knowledge leaking! chishiya's getting ideas on how to craft weapons from various items if he finds himself in dire situations. • knows how much ambition you have for yourself and honestly he's rooting for your success. • admires your logical and calm nature. his rotating shift can be a hassle but he's thankful than you can understand him. to compensate for it, he'll ask you to come to his office to eat and catch up! • when the time comes and you're working on a project that disables you two from meeting up, chishiya will ask if there is anything he can help you with. you're not only bonding together but he's also helping you out! • having a hard time reviewing a complex topic or subject? no worries! he's helping you review by asking you questions and creating flash cards. • he has a bit of trouble figuring out the acronyms you use on him but in the later days, he's already memorized them as well. • nurtures and babies you when you fail or get a passable remark on your test.

Niragi:

• since the boy-girl ratio in an engineering class is askewed, he is hawk eyed every time he is in your campus. on the lookout for any guy that gets too friendly to you. • likes how you always have logical reasoning and thinking in various situations. as someone who doesn't use his logical, you two balance each other perfectly. • finds it hot when you lead him. it doesn't matter who wears the pants in the relationship. • unlike chishiya, niragi is accustomed to the acronyms. sometimes, you two even use it while talking. • "what time is your EOD?", "oh your weekend is TBD?", "i'm currently working on an MMOG" • is patient with you. he knows you deal with existential crises, so he hears out everything that you tell him. • just want to have movie and pizza for a date? he's totally okay with it! it may be a lowkey effort but since he's spending time with you, it's perfect already. • two smart people having the most sarcastic comebacks, witty one liners and dry sense of humor dating? yes. • he's "gravitionally" pulled by your knowledge. knowledge is sexy, right? • he is on his toes as you leave him with his curiosity. he needs it to be satiated by you.

TAGS: @retrospacealien @chishiya-of-diamonds @ang3liclov3ly @kenqki @shadowheads-shitshow @lunoxxy @supercoffeeblogs

#imawa no kuni no arisu #imawa no kuni no alice #alice in boderland x reader #alice in borderland #aib x reader #aib x male reader #chishiya fluff #chishiya shuntaro #aib chishiya #chishiya alice in borderland #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya x y/n #chishiya x reader #niragi suguru #suguru niragi #aib niragi #niragi alice in borderland #niragi x reader #niragi x y/n

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 14 days

Note

AITA for debating hiring outside help for my husband and I's house because we can't keep up alone?

For context: My (26 Fae ftm) husband (28M) live very happy and healthily together. While I'm unable to medically transition due to a bunch of reasons we'll get to, he has been nothing but a solid rock in my life and the one person that has always been on my side. Through dragging me out of an abusive household to helping me with my chronic illness, he's been an absolute angel despite dressing like the devil himself (he's goth). So I don't want any hate on him.

He is ADHD and I'm Autistic. Yes, hello, we are that couple~♡ This does cause us some issues tho as he is unmedicated and I'm just struggling in general with sensory issues for certain chores. So far we keep each other some what afloat, having him do chores that my sensory issues can't handle and my doing ones he can't focus through.

However, as previously mentioned I'm chronically ill. I won't get into many details but it's basically I'm internally bleeding at random intervals. And before people think I'm talking about just my period, no it's so bad that I have once had to go to the ER for a blood transfusion due to this internal bleeding and had times when I was bleeding for over 4 months straight.

My husband and I because of this condition are pretty much struggling financially. I can work but it makes me extremely fatigued since I'm essentially working with constant Anemia. It gets bad enough some days that he can't wake me up without over an hour of effort, even after I've slept 10hrs. The fatigue is REALLY bad. He works just as much as I do, sometimes more because his work is so shortstaffed and he likes to pick up extra shifts to try and save up for the surgery that would hopefully fix everything.

This has culminated though in us both being extremely exhausted near 24/7 for the last year-ish but we have finally hit a break. I recently got a huge pay increase (nearly $200 a week increase) so we are hopeful for the first time in months. We're starting to pay down my extreme medical debt and being able to just go get dinner when he doesn't want to cook.

Here's where I may be kind of TA... Despite this hope, my condition recently did get worse. I've now gone another 3 months still bleeding and having to suffer my Anemia symptoms and medication. This has caused me to fall massively behind on what should be my chores, and while my husband doesn't begrudge me it, it has caused our home to start becoming very, very unhygienic. As someone who grew up with a clean freak mother, it kinda upsets me. He's focusing more and more on me and less on the house so even his chores are falling behind too.

None of that is his fault. He loves me so much he wants to help Me first but it has gotten to where we are both going "we really need to clean the house..." but neither of us have enough battery to do so. Me becuz of my condition and he becuz he's stuck caring for me.

We have enough that we might be able to afford to hire a cleaning service to help us out, but it would cost us some of the freedom and paying down medical bills. I think it'd only be a temporary thing, once I recover from my current episode, we can probably get better... but I don't know how long it will be.

On top of this I'm worried paying for this service will further put off my surgery as we struggle to save up for it again... We've already had to tap into that savings cuz my current episode lost me 2 days at work.

Is it unfair for me to ask to use our new extra money for essentially my not wanting to have to bother doing basic chores? I know I'm tired but I've lived with it so long I could and should probably just push through.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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crusty-chronicles · 10 months

Text

The Moon and Sun (Big Sib Reader x Gon/Killua)

Ch 9: The Woes of Traveling

Synopsis: While waiting for the airship that would take you to the NGL, you spend some very much needed time with the boys. Showing them a little more about your ability, until you get into a slight disagreement with a certain silver haired hunter. But he has a knack for calming you down and regaining your favor.

-------------------

While the boys continued to hound you with questions, Spin used the observations you gave to help narrow down the search. She concluded that the most likely location of the Chimera Ant would be somewhere along the Balsa Islands. (Of which you were not familiar with)

"Unfortunately that includes the Mitene Union," Kite had added.

Unfortunately?

"Oh! Where the NGL Autonomous Region is," Banana clarified.

"Yes, and that's not to mention East Gorteau. No chance of getting information out of those two countries."

You frowned at that. And before you could question Kite about it, Killua decided to ask one of his own.

"What's the NGL?"

"NGL's an acronym that stands for Neo-Green Life." Banana started to explain.

"It's a country founded by people who reject modern technology. Choosing instead to live in nature." Stick finished.

Bingo

"Then we should check there first. No technology means it's the most vulnerable. News of a giant ant wouldn't spread as fast and it'd take a while for them to get help," You speculated.

Plus, it was better to get a place like that out of the way if the ant wasn't there.

The only issue was, places like that tended to be sticklers to their own rules. No exceptions.

"You've got a point, let me pull it up real quick," Spin said as she typed away. A few moments later, a map of the country was pulled up. All of you crowded around the computer to see.

"They primarily communicate by mail, and primary travel is by horseback Anyone who brings technology into the country could be executed."

And there it was.

Spin explained how there had been a situation with a small television crew. They were caught with equipment, and one was executed. The rest are still in jail to this day.

If you were being honest, you didn't really like the primitive societies. Having grown up in one yourself. You could understand them being upset from the disregard to their culture, but death? You found it hard to believe such a small offense would call for such a brutal punishment.

"Let's agree and assume for now the Chimera Ant washed ashore there. How would the NGL's citizenry react?" Kite's question hung in the air for a second.

If they rejected modern technology, then they'd probably reject modern help. It also depended on how primitive they were. They could've believed the ant was sent by god or something. Or that it was fate/destiny whatever may happen.

Then there was that aspect of government, if they even had one. Big Wigs tended not to give a damn about the people under them as long as it didn't affect them directly. So the off chance that the ant was already there and eating people....

"They probably wouldn't do anything, and it's not like they could anyways. No tech, no weapons," you answered.

Kite nodded.

"True. When a deadly epidemic spread through the area, they refused international medical aid. Because they preferred to let nature run its grisly course instead."

You wanted to be respectful, but it was getting harder the more you learned about this place. Why would you let yourself die, your family die just to enforce a belief that didn't matter.

It was selfish. But you figured that had more to do with the makeshift government than the people.

"Your point about communication is also correct," Kite continued.

"Even if they tried to contact the outside world, it would be too late by the time word arrived. So if the arm that was discovered did belong to the Chimera Ant queen, then it's entirely possible that she's already begun constructing her nest."

Goddamnit

----------------------------

You weren't too thrilled to be going on this trip. After purchasing tickets that would get you there, you found out a little more about the NGL than you would have liked.

Mainly, the rumors about drugs being manufactured there.

The last thing you needed to deal with was coked up ants. Especially if the boys were the ones fighting them. But there really wasn't anything you could do about it. You'd already given your word that you'd help find the Chimera Ant queen.

So here you are, wandering around the airport in the hopes to pass time. At least you had some decent company.

"Hey, Y/n?" Gon called. You stopped walking and looked down at him.

"Hmm?"

The other boy backtracked towards you when he realized you weren't behind him anymore.

"What made you decide to make your ability tracking?"

You tensed up slightly at the question. You should've guessed it would have been brought up so soon. You momentarily debated another half-truth but decided against it. You let out a tired sigh before answering.

He was too curious for his own good.

"Circumstances called for it, in a sense. It wasn't really my choice if I'm being honest. Just something I had to do."

To be fair, you could have developed a fighting ability as well, but it wasn't something you had been focused on at the time.

"What circumstances?"

"That's a story for another time, kay?" You lightly elbowed him. He pouted but dropped it.

"How young were you when you developed it?" This time it was Killua who asked. He seemed a little hesitant to, probably due to your reaction the last time he pried for information.

You were such an ass for that.

"Let's see," you thought back on it for a sec.

"Around four. It was fully developed by five."

"What!?!?"

You wanted to laugh at the bugged-out expression they both wore.

"There's no way! That's like how Killua was dropped off at Heaven's Arena as a baby!"

"Yeah but I didn't even know about nen until now! How did you figure it out at four!?!?"

Heaven's Arena? Like the place where people fought for money? God they were so reckless. First Chrollo, now this? You didn't think they'd ever run out of ways to surprise you. (For the worst that is)

You put your hands up before they could start shaking you again.

"Hey, hold on. I didn't just wake up one day and decide to use nen. It's thanks to the people I was with that pushed me there. And no, I will not be answering anymore questions today. Please and thank you."

You could feel the disappointment from both auras. See the grumpy frowns on their faces. And instantly your resolve broke.

God what was wrong with you. You were becoming too damn soft.

"How 'bout I show you two something cool instead. Fair?" You offered. They both beamed up at you.

Fakers.

"Let's find somewhere to sit first, okay?"

"Okay!"

"Fine, but it better be cool."

You spotted a bench a little ways away. You were grateful it was empty. You didn't think you could tolerate being squished together like sardines again.

It was also right next to-

You couldn't stop the gasp that left your mouth. Nor the way your eyes immediately lit up with stars. The boys sent you questioning stares and followed your line of vision.

A small snack shack with cookies on the display.

And as quickly as your delighted expression came, it also left. You shook your head and continued to your destination.

Killua looked over to Gon. They nodded to each other in agreement.

"I'll be right back. Go ahead and show Gon first," Killua called as he dashed past you.

You tilted your head in confusion. They were plotting something, weren't they? Goblins, the both of them. But you decided to let it go.

So long as it didn't lead to any trouble.

You sat down on the rickety old bench and patted the spot next to you. Gon complied, anticipation radiating off of him.

"You wanna know how I see the world?" Well, how you saw people more like it. But you thought the way you asked was a little cheesier. It fit with the vibe you were going for.

The softness

"Yeah! I wanna be able to see people's auras like you! It sounds fun!" You laughed at his enthusiasm.

"Wait! Are you gonna train me!?!?" He beamed up brighter at you.

"No, that'll be a while from now. I said I was gonna show you something cool, and training you to see them would take months." You clarified with a genuine smile.

The boy deflated slightly, but was all smiles again as he saw you make circle shapes with your hands and coat them with nen.

Like glasses.

He understood now.

You moved your hands to his eyes and waited for his reaction.

What he could see was everything. Little outlines of aura trailing every person. Sparks of emotion that seemed clearer to read. And the field of vision went further than he was used to seeing.

It was pretty cool. And useful. No wonder you had been able to find him so easily on Greed Island.

Your hands moved away at the feeling of Killua's presence.

"Took you long enough, gremlin."

He scooched on the other side of you.

"Yeah, well the line was long okay."

Before you could question him about it, a small bag was placed in your lap. You picked it up to inspect and let out another gasp.

The choked sound earning a laugh from the duo on either side of you.

Your eyes closed and you cupped your face to stop the warmth from spreading. Little delighted squeaks as you realized what it was.

A little baggie of chocolate chip cookies.

They had never seen you beam at something before. Never seen a smile so pure and bright from you. Like whatever had been weighing you down before was temporarily gone.

Not even when you had been talking with Kite were you this happy.

You snapped from your delighted daze after a few seconds.

"Oh right, let me show you the thing," you said as you clutched the bag close to you. Like it was made of the most precious material in the world.

Killua's face scrunched in confusion at your words. Then turned into shock as you once again made glasses with your hands and lifted them to his eyes.

Like Gon, he could see everything. The auras, the emotions, and much to his delight-the strength of everyone. So this was how you detected Binolt. Pretty handy. Maybe he could bribe you with candy to teach them how to see like you.

Which begs the question...

"Can we see your aura?"

You thought about it for a minute and inevitably gave in. Mourning the loss of setting your cookies down to do so.

"Sure, just don't get all scared." It was meant to lighten the mood, but a small part of you really meant it. You weren't trained to read yourself, so you didn't have any clue what they would see. You just hoped it wasn't bad.

You kneeled in front of them, one hand for each eye. You coated the space with your nen and waited.

The first thing they noticed was how faint your aura was. Like you were suppressing it. The next thing was your emotions. Nervousness, exhaustion, and that spark of uncontainable joy from before. Which made sense considering the events that just transpired.

But it was the ones buried under them that were concerning.

Guilt, fear, and regret.

A silent agreement was made not to mention those. Not to press you on them. Whatever caused you to feel that way, you'd tell them when you were ready.

You moved your hands away all too soon.

"Soooo, was that or wasn't that the coolest thing you've ever seen?" You stood up with mock confidence, unnerved by the worry now radiating off of them.

"It was okay, not as cool as the visualization thingy." Killua's quip had the mood lightening slightly.

"Well beggars can't be choosers, gremlin." The worry was gone.

"I can still return these," he said lifting up the small bag.

Your eyes widened in dispair.

"Nononono!!!! Please, my precious little Moon Star don't do it!!!! I'll die! I won't be able to go on without them!"

Killua ignored your light attempts to get the bag back, instead smiling smugly at Gon.

"I've got a cooler nickname than you now," he mouthed.

The boy in green puffed out his cheeks.

"No you don't!"

"Yeah I do!" The small assassin verbalized.

"Don't!"

"Do!"

"Don't!"

And while Killua was distracted, you made a fast grab, successfully taking the bag away. He didn't notice as he continued to argue with his best friend.

That was until both of them heard a crunch followed by another excited squeak. They peaked over the bench to see you happily munching away on a cookie.

"Stealer," Killua huffed out.

Gon nudged his shoulder.

"Leave them." He scolded.

It was quite comical to see someone with such a rough exterior go so soft over a few sweets. And the fact that you would growl if they tried to reach for one just to tease you.

It was almost enough to make the three of you forget about the situation at hand.

Almost.

You'd felt Kite's aura approach, then stop. A feeling of hesitance replacing the calm.

And in truth he was a little hesitant. The three of you looked so peaceful. So happy.

Like a little family.

It'd be a damn shame if something happened to it.

All the more reason he should confirm you all knew what you were getting yourselves into. This job would be dangerous. And it just might ruin the peace you had created with each other.

So he'd let the three of you have your moment. Hopefully not the last one if things went according to plan.

With that he continued on to your small group.

-------------------

Your head snapped up at the sound of footsteps approaching. Realizing it was Kite, you relaxed. Seems he was gonna talk to the three of you after all.

"It may be too late to ask this, but are you all sure you want to come along?" His voice immediately catching the boys' attention.

The question was genuine, but a little redundant to ask.

You all were still here, weren't you?

And these boys were the furthest thing from cowards.

But you supposed from an outsider looking in, things would look different. An emotionally and physically drained adult chasing around two hyperactive kids. You probably would have been concerned too.

Their answer was immediate and you wouldn't have expected anything else.

"Of course."

"You weren't kidding about the 'late' part, huh?"

There was momentary shock from Kite's aura. Then eyes fell on you expectantly.

"What? I thought I was in this by default. Can't exactly track an ant without a tracker, you know?"

Unwavering determination from the three of you. Safe to assume where one went, the other two would follow. Still, Kite needed to make sure you all knew of the potential risks entering the NGL. That the three of you would be prepared for it.

"As you know, we have no idea what the situation is inside the NGL. There may very well be a swarm of giant Chimera Ants already hunting humans down. And if that does indeed turn out to be the case, then my priority will be saving them."

Kite's gaze lingered on his team. A surge of protectiveness radiating off him. You could respect that. You could relate to that.

"Be aware that I may not be able to help you three. If you're going to join us, you must be able to protect yourselves."

And again your boys had answered without hesitation.

"Right, I got it!"

"We'll be okay."

Surprisingly, you weren't pushed for an answer. And it may or may not have to do with the fact that he had seen your strength the day he met you. Your speed that rivaled his and was probably even faster. Your strong will to protect those boys.

You'd already proven enough of your capabilities.

Too bad he was unaware it was purely for defense.

"...And if it happens to be me who finds himself in danger, then leave me there. You got it?"

An uncomfortable tension filled the air. Unease in Gon and Killua's auras. And yours too.

"DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE ME!"

"Shut the hell up, would you?" Your tone was harsh and all the previous joy gone. Instead replaced by agitation. The change in mood was very much unexpected.

Not good. You were scary when you were angry. Especially since you seemed to be getting along well with Kite before.

"You don't leave your friends to die if you know you can save them. Whether you want the help or not, I don't give a damn. If that upsets you then you can shove it. But I will not have you instilling bad morals onto my brothers. End of discussion." Your eyes were colder than they had been. It was hard to pinpoint exactly what it was in them.

But it wasn't hate, wasn't exactly anger. The closest to it was disappointment. Like you were scolding him over something that seemed like common knowledge. Before he could properly explain to you what he meant, you had already gotten up and left for the airship. The two boys trailing behind you, casting an apologetic glance his way as they passed him.

A bear and its cubs.

Kite had to remember to pick his words better addressing those boys. He supposed it was sweet in a way, how serious you took raising them. It let him know they would be safe with you.

It was just dealing with your troublesome temper that would be a pain. (Good thing he was very experienced in that area.)

If you and Ging ever did meet, the two of you would probably kill each other.

-----------------

You'd never been on an airship before. Usually when you had to get somewhere, you'd walk. There was the occasional hitchhike, but you never had the proper money to afford decent travel.

And this was nice. Very nice.

The city lights below you and the sunset unobscured. It was calming. Something you really needed right now.

You hadn't meant to snap, but there were just some things that would inevitably set you off. It was nobody's fault but your own for not conveying them. Still, you weren't too fond of somebody telling your boys to leave their friends when things got rough. No matter how much you liked him.

It wasn't because you thought it would make them cowards. God no, you always reminded them not to pick stupid fights. You just didn't want them to regret running away.

Survivor's guilt was a bitch.

It was not something two twelve-year-old little boys should have to deal with.

You glanced over at them. They were looking out of the window, expressions somber. You could feel nervousness, but you'd give anything to know what they were actually thinking about.

Should you say something?

You were never good at comforting people.

But you didn't like the quiet. Not anymore.

"You two okay?" Were you being awkward right now? Yes, yes you were. But you were trying, that had to count for something, right?"

A moment of silence that seemed to stretch on for eternity.

"You called us your brothers." There was a twinkle in Gon's eye as he said it. It was hopeful.

Then it disappeared as Killua thwacked the back of his head.

"Idiot! Was that the only thing you've been thinking about!?!?"

"Well no, but it's still pretty important!!! They've never called us that before!!!"

"Yeah but we can focus on that later!"

Before you knew it, you were laughing at their shenanigans. You'd been worried over nothing. They were fine. Stupid, but fine.

"Hey! Just whaddya' think you're laughing about!" Killua pointed an accusatory finger at you, face red from embarrassment. You did your best to stifle your giggles before answering.

"Nothing. You two are just goobers is all."

"Ew, what're you fifty? You sound like a senior citizen. You look like one too with those bags under your eyes."

You let out a fake noise of offense.

"Yeah? And what, does that make you Ben Franklin, you little eel."

His embarrassment worsened as Gon laughed at your comment.

"I forgot about that! He is an eel!"

Killua huffed and crossed his arms.

"Can't believe you turned my own best friend against me. Not very big sibling behavior."

You shook your head in amusement. What a day you were having. At least it would end on a high note.

"Oh, Y/n," Gon called.

You turned your head to give him your attention.

"Thank you for earlier."

Your face scrunched in confusion.

"For what?"

"You remember what Kite said before we left? That we should escape without him if he's in danger?"

"Yes?" What did you do that deserved thanks? If anything, you were just being a snippy bitch.

"I wanted to thank you for what you said. That friends don't leave each other behind. I don't think me and Killua would have been able to put that into words. Well, more like say it directly. So thank you."

"Yeah, he didn't make it sound like it was a choice. So I guess I appreciate that you gave us one," Killua added.

You didn't know what to do with this. The gratitude for something you thought was common sense. It wasn't like you'd made some heroic speech on the power of friendship. You just talked from experience.

So you did the only thing you could think of and flicked their foreheads.

"You goblins. Don't thank me for something small like that. I'm the Big Sib, remember? I can't just let someone be teaching you bad habits. What kind of example would I be setting if I agreed to let you run away with your tail between your legs?"

The resounding laughter from both of them had your face going warm.

"Hey! I don't recall saying anything funny! So quit it!"

"It's just-" Gon started before getting cut off by a wheeze.

"You're being so serious over a 'thank you'. You know, you're acting more like a parent right now!" Killua hung off of Gon to steady himself.

Your face went a darker shade.

"I'm nobody's parent! I barely agreed to be your sibling!" You turned to leave, trying not to fluster yourself further.

"Waitwaitwait!" A small grab on your wrist.

"You never let me finish talking." It was Gon who seemed to have collected himself at last.

"You said thank you, sounds like you finished to me."

He shook his head.

"I didn't. That was only part of it. Please sit down and listen." And there were the puppy dog eyes. You hated yourself for how easily you gave in every time.

"Fine. Not like I wanted to nap or anything." You gave his hair a ruffle before sitting on yet another rickety bench, Killua next to you.

"Okay, there's something that I've been thinking about. I want your honest opinion. Do you really think Kite, a guy Ging respects, can ever actually be in that much danger? He said to leave if things got bad, but how bad could they really get if he's so strong?"

Technically, the one friend of Ging's you'd met was a titan. So the odds of Kite being in trouble seemed slim. Then again, you still didn't know how strong these ants would be.

"People slip up. They get tired. Reckless when protecting something important. No matter how strong or respected someone is, there will always be a weakness. And because this is an enemy we've never faced, it's hard to predict what will happen. We can just hope for the best."

So many damn factors could determine a fight. No matter how skilled someone was, one small mistake was all it took.

You wished you didn't know why he had asked that, but you did. And it was because he was considering Kite's words in full. Mulling over what would be the right decision to do. Honor his wishes, or agree with you.

Then there was that familiar spark of determination. And you knew the words that would accompany it would be said with so much certainty, there would be no room to argue.

"I don't know the reason Ging brought me and Kite together, and maybe I never will...But I won't just give up. It doesn't matter what's going on here, I just don't wanna disappoint him, you know?"

You decided then and there that Ging Freecs was the worst person in the world. Gon, who had never even met him, was worried about his approval. The man who had dropped him off at his cousin's and told one of his best buddies to fight him full force. That was the one he didn't want to disappoint.

This kid, who had always felt like he failed when he couldn't accomplish something, didn't deserve that. Didn't deserve to have his self-worth be determined by a man who wasn't there.

So yes, you decided you officially hated Ging. And if you ever met him, you'd be sure to knock him down a peg or two.

"Or me. I couldn't forgive myself either. I won't run away. That's what I've decided. I won't leave my friend to die, not if I can save him." Gon's voice snapped you from your thoughts.

And after processing what he said, you felt a surge of pride. Such a good kid who was cursed with an ass of a father.

"Atta boy." At your praise, he ducked his head down, a feeling of bashfulness overtaking his aura.

"And you? What've you decided, gremlin?" You nudged the boy next to you.

"Don't know. I guess I'd just think about it when the time comes," Killua answered.

"Really? What if it was one of us?" You were being a little mean, pressing him like that. But no matter his answer, it wouldn't change a thing. You'd die to keep these boys alive. And you probably would.

"Well, if it's you two, I'll try my best. But anyone else, it just depends. I don't do these hypotheticals, okay!?!?"

You patted his head, much to his dismay.

"Then let's all agree on something. We look out for each other there, okay? Do what we can, so the rest can do what we can't. And don't be scared to ask for help. I know you two are stubborn, but please be careful."

Were you making another promise?

They nodded, hands reaching towards yours to shake on it.

You were about to make yourself comfortable to start napping when your eyes caught a flash of silver. A familiar calming aura approaching, then it stopped.

You stood up to get a better vantage point and sure enough, there he was. Perhaps he had caught the last part of your conversation with the boys and stopped himself from interrupting.

He noticed you a few seconds later. You were still very much agitated by his previous statement, but you weren't about to be an even bigger ass over that.

He did buy the three of you tickets to come along. And he did double check with the three of you before boarding.

Goddamnit, you couldn't even properly hold a grudge now.

So with the boys distracted with each other, you started up another silent conversation.

'You wanna talk or something? Away from the boys though. You've gotta earn that privilege again.'

Was that relief you were sensing?

'I was hoping to talk to you in private, if that's ok with you?'

You looked back over to the two boys who were currently arguing over dibs for training with you first. Dummies.

You turned back towards Kite and nodded.

"I'll be back, don't do anything that gets me in trouble."

A protest of 'hey's' as you left to follow the taller male. Which wasn't far. The airship was spacious but not big. You two stopped a little ways around the bend.

Your arms were crossed and your stare was expectant. He really did prefer it when you weren't mad. The way you looked a few moments ago. But even though you were upset, you were not an unreasonable person. He'd seen that firsthand himself.

The uncomfortable tension was back. But you'd disrupted it soon after. For better or worse, neither of you could tell.

"This the part where you apologize for traumatizing my boys by asking them to leave you to die?" You may have been exaggerating. But damnit, they shouldn't have to think about things like that.

Your dramatics were expected and like before, Kite would bite back.

"Is this the part where you tell me to screw my explanation?" It was slightly teasing, but completely dispelled your previous agitation.

Your eyes widened, not expecting his response. However, you rebounded quickly.

"If it sucks, then yes. But if you've got a good one I'd love to hear it."

The air became thicker as his expression turned serious.

"You care about those boys, don't you?" You both knew the answer to that very well. Nevertheless, you nodded to confirm.

"Then it's your duty to keep them safe. If I'm in a fight I can't win, what hope to they have?"

And before you could protest on their behalf, he continued.

"They would be putting themselves in a danger they can't beat. Letting emotions get in the way and making mistakes they shouldn't. Good intentions or not, they'd only end up getting in the way. It's your responsibility to take them out of that situation. To protect them."

The same song and dance as before. He was right and you'd jumped the gun a little too soon. The rational part of your brain listening to his words and knowing he was right. But....

"That's not the issue. Trust me, I'm gonna make sure nothing happens to them, even if it kills me. But you don't know what you're talking about asking them to run away. It's not just about doing what's morally right. It's the affect it's going to have."

Affect? Now he was the one a little at loss for words.

"What do you mean?"

You hesitated for a second. Dread and guilt bubbling to the surface.

"As someone who has had to make that choice...I made the wrong one. I don't want them making the wrong one too. It's not something that goes away, the guilt. It festers and grows and it just..." You shook your head, trying to rid away everything negative.

"You don't know what you're asking of them. If there's a chance, even a small one that everybody comes out okay, then we'll make it happen."

So that was why you were mad.

It made sense now. All of it actually. And when you put it like that, it was hard to argue with. But there was still that image of the happy family broken because one of you had gone back.

You needed to know that. You needed to see past those feelings to understand that. Maybe it was asking too much of you, but this was an important job. One he and his team could not mess up.

"What if you can't? What if it's too late to save someone and you know it? Would you still foolishly try?" It was cruel, but there wasn't a nicer way to put it.

You looked down then. Like you felt defeated. And for a brief moment he thought he knew what your answer would be. He was wrong.

"No...I wouldn't have." He thought the conversation would have ended there, but it didn't. And why it didn't made him respect you all the more.

"But things have changed for me. They've changed me. And even though I know it's a fool's game," Your hands had clenched.

"I would do it in a heartbeat. But if you're so adamant about this, then I want you to make me a promise in exchange."

You didn't agree with him, but you had agreed to follow through in his wishes. It was only fair he do the same.

"Promise that if I have to fight to give them time, you'll get them out of there. You'll keep them safe for me. If I need to die, then make sure they live." Your eyes met Kite's. He would never tire seeing your resolve, but now there was something softer mixed in. Vulnerable.

"I know they can be a handful, but they'll grow on you." He didn't need you to try and convince him to agree. He'd already decided the second you proposed it. Still, you loved your little family and wanted to ensure they would be safe.

A breath of fresh air compared to some of the other hunters he had met. (Even if you weren't exactly one.)

You extended your hand towards his. He took it, noticing a small amount of aura coating it.

"I swear on my nen, that if I know you can't be saved, we'll run."

It was a curse. No a condition. He had never met someone who bet their nen on their word. But your resolve was absolute, not worried about the potential ramifications of your actions. You were serious about keeping your promise.

A spark of something akin to admiration was felt. You stood strong and unmoving and it was having an affect on him.

It wasn't hard to see why both boys looked up to you so much.

You'd place a condition on your nen to keep your promise. So he would too. As a show of good faith. A show of trust.

"I swear on my nen, as well. If something should happen to you, I'll take care of Gon and Killua in your place." His own aura coated his palm.

You looked up at him in shock. Did he have any idea what he was about to do? That this was permanent until the conditions had been met or null?

"You know what happens if you break it, right? This isn't something to take lightly. It's binding." You warned. But Kite looked unfazed by your words, aura a familiar calm.

"I know. Does it make you uncomfortable that I'm willing to meet your stakes?" It was a genuine question. He assumed you would have been happy. Maybe a snarky comment here and there, but not surprised. Was this another boundary he was unaware of?

"No. I just wanted to make sure." You finally shook on it, a feeling of your nen exchanging with his before it was over.

Why had he done that? Why had he put a condition on himself? Just because you did it??? You didn't get it. Promises were important to you, and now a promise like this? Where both parties had agreed to give something up in case it was broken... Where stakes were mutual...

You knew why

And it had your slowed heart beating in overdrive inside your chest.

"You're.... You're a good person. For meeting me halfway on this. Thank you, Kite." Your tone was the softest it had been with him. There was gratitude yes, but there was something else. It was almost intimate.

And when you said his name like that, with such fondness, it made him want to keep you around. Just to hear it said in the same way again.

A tongue for a dagger with a heart of gold. That's what you were. A smart ass with a big heart, especially with those two boys.

Maybe he would invite you to stay when this was all over.

----------------

Unbeknownst to the two of you, pairs of eyes watched the exchange from afar. Both of them trying to wrap their heads around what you just did.

You shook hands coated in nen and that was it. But why? They couldn't figure it out. From where they were, they couldn't really hear you all that well.

But one of them could read lips, and what he deciphered shocked him in a way that was terrifying.

Because what Killua had just witnessed was you willing to give up your nen, what made you you, for their safety. That you would give up your life to make sure he and Gon got out safe.

What the hell was wrong with you!?!? Doing something so stupid over something that wouldn't happen!!!! You'd made a big deal about not running away a few minutes ago, so what was the-

Your wording.

There was an 'if'. If you know you can save them.

'But if you couldn't' was what you bet your nen on.

And it brought the earlier conversation to full light. What he would do if you and Gon were just in danger. Without knowing if saving either of you was an option.

Would you hate him if he decided to run?

He knew Gon wouldn't leave you, that he wouldn't have even entertained the thought. But it wasn't as cut and dry for Killua.

It had been instilled in him to flee from battles he could not win. To run and save his own life.

And what if that actually happened? Would the two of you stay?

Would either of you forgive him?

Would you still think of him as your little brother? A killer turned coward?

You never stayed mad or upset with him. And Gon always believed the best in him.

"One day you'll betray your friends and then you'll kill them." He froze at the sound of Illumi's voice. His words were still engraved in his mind.

"You don't leave your friends to die if you can save them." But so were yours.

"You're no good."

"Okay, I'll admit it. That was pretty unexpected. And cool."

"You're weak."

"Just try a little harder and you'll have it down."

"Foolish little brother."

"He's cautious and knows how to pick his battles. And despite the shit his family's put him through, he's still a good kid."

His brother had taught him everything he's ever known, and a part of him was grateful for that.

But you and Gon had shown him a different way. A way built on trust rather to than fear. And out of the voices battling in his head, yours was the one he would rather listen to. The better one.

The one that made him feel safe.

He would try for you.

Try to be a good person for you and Gon.

Try to save the two of you if anything happened.

-----------------------------------

Not so Fun Fact #10: Y/n's Hemophobia stems from being exposed to too much at a young age.

Not so Fun Fact #11: Y/n became homeless at the age of 8

MASTERLIST

Tags: @fandomhoe101

-------------------------------------

An: Me??? Making a small filler chapter 😱😱😱 Yes, now let me stall for Kite's life. Kite my beloved, I apologize for what I'm about to do to you next chapter.😞😞😞 Gon and Killua my scrunkies, I also apologize for what I'm about to do to you the following chapter after that😞😞😞 (Or maybe through the power of procrastination I can stall the angst for one more chapter.)

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter x reader #hxh x y/n #hunter x hunter x y/n #gon x reader #killua x reader #mayhaps a kite x reader???#big sib reader #older reader #found family #x reader #platonic

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trans-rite · 6 months

Text

2023 Trans Ancestor Rite

Hi everyone. It's about that time...

Our divination confirms that we are not doing an elevation-style ritual this year. (You may recall that nine-day format with the altar on the floor.) The ancestor ritual will be one day only. We recommend November 20th, as it is already the Trans Day of Remembrance. (Our own ritual may need to be November 21st, due to bio family obligations, but we are still sussing that out.)

We also recommend setting the altar up early even if you don't work it night after night as in previous years. The Rite is still in a transitional, somewhat experimental stage this year - so we will try performing the ritual only once, and then verify what's working through divination after the fact.

We plan to check in over the weekend with the individual ancestors who customarily participate in the ritual, and will post results once we have them. We also plan to post a concise ritual outline with instructions and prayer texts in the next few days.

In the meantime, you could consider where, when, and with whom you might wish to perform the ritual. Is there a local TDOR ceremony you could add a ritual element to? Do you have comrades who might join you in lighting the candle and reading the names? A single ritual is more approachable for many than nine days of consecutive prayers, which opens up possibilities for new contexts and participants.

Please send an ask to let us know your plans and questions! You can also use the submission function to send us photos of your altars, or prayers, as in years past. We will be tracking the tag #troe2023 (even though the E for Elevation in the acronym is no longer quite right).

You may wish to turn on notifications for this blog if you are participating this year, as we post pretty infrequently and will otherwise likely get lost on your dash.

Thank you for joining us in honoring our siblings and cousins and elders who have passed on.

🏳️‍⚧️🕯️🙏🏽

--- Mod Alder

#troe2023 #mod post #trans rite of elevation #transgender rite of ancestor elevation

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mwolf0epsilon · 5 days

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Snips, Snails and Puppy Dogs' Tails

Summary: When first assigned to Flotsam Squad, CT-6922 is unusually shy for a clone. Quiet, evasive, anxious, and always wringing his hands together while looking at the rest of his new brothers as if expecting to be attacked. It's the loneliness and longing in his eyes in spite of the obvious fear, that makes '85 decide that this is his vod'ika now, and that he'll protect him no matter what.

[A prequel drabble that takes place in the Sugar, Spice and Nothing Nice Verse. Essentially, Dogma's reassignment to his and Tup's squad, after having been rejected and cast out of so many others due to his size-shifting ability.]

THIS STORY IS ALSO ON AO3

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A tiny fleet of cleaning droids had been the only warning Flotsam Squad had gotten in regards to having yet another stray added to their already cobbled-together group. No formal announcement had been given during roll call. Not even a quick notification on their datapads during morning module-classes.

The droids had just waltzed into the barracks and started preparing their quarters for the new arrival.

It wasn't unusual of course, for the Kaminiise not to inform the youngest cadets of their hasty decisions. Especially in regards to when they were piecing together squads full of "difficult subjects". Good soldiers, even ones as inconveniently disagreeable as them, didn't need to be told anything beyond what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. It was a simple fact of life. Commanding officers got the debriefs. CT fodder got the meat shield work. Nothing more, nothing less.

And, honestly, it hadn't really bothered '85 all that much that he and his squad hadn't been told anything prior to the cleaning droids commandeering them away from the corner they'd claimed as their hangout spot. He was mostly just curious as to what the new vod (whoever he or she may be), would be like.

The questions he'd been rotating in his head had even been fairly simple ones. Because over-complicating this sort of thing hadn't ever really been that good of a way to spend the time. No point working themselves up over nothing, and all that...

Still, there had been a lot left to the imagination because they had no information whatsoever, and '85 hadn't felt all that put off by spending his rack time considering the many possibilities that awaited them.

Things like, whether or not Flotsam Squad would be getting someone who was as stubbornly loyal as '33. Or maybe a vod who was more nurturing and tactile like '37? Perhaps someone as resourceful and studious like '20. Or (and he had really hoped for the last option) someone who was just as energetically friendly and ambitious as '85 himself.

For the most part he'd spent his time daydreaming about it rather than actually sleeping (which had bitten him in the butt early in the morning when he'd woken up late and not been able to get first-meal). Thinking up someone that would fit in flawlessly with their band of misfits, while also wondering about what sort of circumstances might have led the unknown vod to their little corner of the 4th cycle barracks.

Flotsam Squad was known, after all, as the leftovers that no one really wanted to put up with...

In fact, it seemed like every trainer they worked with (including their squad coordinator) had something bad to say whenever Flotsam got brought up in conversation behind closed doors.

Conversations that boiled down to complaints of '33 and his infamously bad temper. A temper that got him into a lot of scraps with other vode from different squads. As well as frustrated grumbles about '37 and his inattentiveness, which often caused him to get hurt and jeopardize assignments. Or, more perplexingly, '20 and his unusual way of speaking with as little words as possible. Which apparently the trainers considered disrespectful, despite it being done for efficiency (and it wasn't like his acronyms were anything new or hard to understand...).

And, lest anyone forget, disparaging comments of '85 and his proclivity for both bouts of sudden crying and debilitating headaches. Headaches which got so bad that sometimes he ended up nearly throwing up during classes.

They were, in the eyes of many, bad batchers. The rotten apples that one ought to removed from the bottom of the barrel, in order to preserve the actual good ones that were fit for shipping and consumption from being equally spoiled.

It stood to reason that whoever was joining them soon, would be another "hard case" that the Kamiinise and trainers wanted out of sight and out of mind. That they'd need to help acclimate to the group, and show them the metaphorical ropes. That is to say, teach them on how the squad compensated for each other's inherent flaws and weaknesses.

Because, even though there were many valid complaints (and they were likely never going to stop coming), none of the trainers could actually say that Flotsam squad didn't pull their own weight. That Flotsam couldn't finish their daily assignments, even with the added obstacle they posed to each other.

Adaptability and loyalty to their kin were their strongest suites.

The cleanup and preparation of the bunk and locker had only taken a couple of hours max. The arrival of their new squad member, on the other hand, had taken another full day. Something which had honestly peaked their collective curiosity even more, and led to a full night of gossiping and speculation that had left them all giddy with excitement.

Especially when, during another unassuming morning roll call, they were suddenly presented with the scrawniest (skinnier even than '85 himself, who was often referred to as the runt of the litter by his ori'vode!) most tiniest 4th cycle cadet they ever did see.

The theories that had kept them up suddenly couldn't quite compare.

Were they getting a medical mishap of some kind? Had that been what had doomed the kih'vod to such an infamous squad? Some kind of health deficiency that the poor bugger hadn't been able to control? If anything, the hapless vod definitely looked the part. Quite sickly under the harsh white lights of the halls, and seemingly minuscule in comparison to the two long necks flanking their sides.

But it hadn't just been their new kih'vod's stunted height and gaunt physique that had made him look unusually small. His poorly posture, all hunched up with tired eyes cast downwards as if unable to meet theirs, hadn't been doing them any favors. Neither had the restlessness of their hands, which had been wringing each other like crazy, in a way that suggested both discomfort and uncertainty as to what to do with them.

He was, in both the nicest and meanest way possible, the definition of pitiful given human form. Like a mangy tooka kitten with a broken leg and sad wet eyes.

All at once '85 wanted to squish the little guy in a bear hug so tight it might snap bone.

"This is CT-6922." One of the long necks, the one wearing a medical officer's uniform, introduced brusquely. "Due to behavioral issue related disturbances, this is his 11th reassignment."

"It shall also be his last." The other, wearing a scientist's uniform, had grumbled in clear annoyance. Or as close to annoyance as the Kamiinise could get, since they all spoke with as much emotion as their faces could show. Which wasn't much. "No other squad will take this particular subject due to a series of unfortunate incidents. And if this one is also not an ideal fit, termination will be the only option left."

"As such, we are counting on your current track record with these more difficult allotments, to be able to reform CT-9622's poor cooperative marks into something of... Relative use."

Their squad coordinator (who had been present for the new arrival's introduction) had been the one who was being addressed. But, in the end, it had been the cadets of Flotsam Squad that had been the ones to truly take those words to heart.

The absolute seriousness of the kih'vod's situation.

It was thus decided by them right there and then, that the responsibility to take in and protect their new little brother was theirs and theirs alone. A life or death situation should, after all, outweigh whatever nonsense the long necks were on about, whenever they wrote off one of the vode as being utterly hopeless.

What did the Kamiinise know about brotherhood? About coming together to push each other to be and do better, when everyone else only saw the worst in you?

The answer was obvious: Absolutely nothing.

The long necks, as smart as they thought they were, could never really understand what it was like to be a clone or a vod. Neither could the trainers (who only saw them as their next paycheck). So yes, the Kamiinise might have been speaking to their haughty looking trainer, but it would be '33, '37, '20 and '85 who would make sure 6922 would thrive. That the little kih'vod would become the best of the best.

Even if the latter seemed to have had other plans...

The behavioral issues that had been alluded to were, ultimately, nothing quite like what they had expected in the end. With this being their new little brother's 11th reassignment, they'd sort of pictured that maybe he was the kind to get into fights and loud angry arguments (like '33 often did).

Instead what they'd immediately clocked in on after just a few hours of knowing the little fella, was the fact that '22 was just... Afraid...

Afraid and unwilling to be close to or open with any of them, to the point of remaining so quiet that they had almost thought he didn't need to breathe at all (except he did, in fact, need to breathe as the loud snores that came from his bunk pod were definitely not their imagination and the only sound they ever did hear him produce). It was almost as if he expected them to hurt him in some way if he did or said something they didn't like. And it was '85 who was the most concerned about this particular topic, since the idea of a clone being afraid of other clones was horrifying to him.

What could any of them do to help their new little brother feel welcomed into the squad, if he was too afraid to approach them? Too afraid of them to even accept that he needed their help? How did they reach out to him when he always stared at them as if they were going to bite his head off?

And what caused that fear to begin with?

Had '22 been attacked by other vode in the past? Had he been reassigned because he was a target for in-squad bullying? He was certainly not very strong looking. All skin and bones and shorter than he should be at their age group.

And it wasn't uncommon for the less agreeable trainers to make their squads of cadets fight amongst each other, if they thought one of the members was a bit of a weak link. '22 having been harmed by other vode wasn't too farfetched if it potentially involved outside influence, but it was still against the very nature of a clone to hurt another vod so much that he'd become so timid and skittish around others...

Unfortunately, only one person really knew the right answer. And said person wasn't really willing to share it with him. At least not at the moment. '85 had always been fairly patient for his age though. He could play the long game.

Especially after having decided that '22 was HIS vod'ika.

Sure, the little guy had promptly become Flotsam Squad's collective kih'vod (how could he not? he really did look like a bit of a pathetic sopping wet tooka that needed to be coddled), but he was '85's vod'ika in the same way that '33 and '37 had proclaimed that he was their vod'ika.

'22 was '85's and no one else's. It was a bit hard to explain to someone who wasn't aware of this particular clone sibling dynamic, but also not. An oxymoron of sorts. And, even if '85 was a bit too young to be anyone's big strong older brother that they could look up to with the utmost admiration (like the Alphas), something about those big sad eyes... It just seemed right for him to be '22's ori'vod.

Like it was meant to be.

Now if only his new vod'ika would understand this. That he could come to his brand new band of ori'vode and feel safe among them. Especially around '85 who had decided he would move mountains if it meant '22 would unclench his jaw just a little, and maybe even smile...

Breaking in the newbie (as '33 put it) was ultimately a lot of work. A lot of arduous heartbreaking work that revealed just how much of '22's fearfulness was truly ingrained in him. Even so, they did what they could to work around it.

'85 did what he could.

As days passed, a new sort of team dynamic formed. One where, as usual, Flotsam did what they could to help each other out during both practical activities, tests and module course work.

But now there was also '22 who, remarkably, seemed to be rather brilliant on his own. For all that he was smaller and weaker in constitution, '33, '37, '20 and '85 were astonished to discover that he was fantastic at getting assignments done without the need of any outside help.

What he wasn't particularly good at was acting as a part of the team.

Which was... A problem. Not because he was making it harder on any of them (far from it, he made himself rather scarce to them actually, but his methods were fairly easy to follow from just watching him and the group actually got their work done faster because of him), but because he would be expected to work with others once they all graduated and got put into a much larger battalion.

And if '22 couldn't be a part of a team, a member of a cohesive and cooperative battalion, he was as good as dead. Or worse...

So '85 redoubled his efforts to show him he could trust the rest of the squad just as much as they were trusting his methods. Spent days, and then weeks, and then a good part of '22's first month with Flotsam, making sure he was as approachable, friendly, generous and gentle as possible whenever '22 was around.

And in spite of the resistance he was initially met with, there had been a few promising results that proved he was on the right track with his flighty vod'ika.

Like how '22 began to gradually feel comfortable enough to sit down in the rest of the squad's presence without closing his bunk pod, just so he could catch up on some light reading. His frightened and frantic eyes darting less and less from the screen of his datapad to the group, as the minutes slowly ticked by. The tight knots of his tensed muscles slowly relaxing as he got into whatever it was he was reading.

Or how '22 started joining the group to eat, even if he still put as much distance between them and himself as it was physically possible while sitting at the same table. He'd even begun to set aside the things he did not like to eat (and he seemed to dislike a lot of food stuffs, which maybe explained why he was so small), only to then push his nearly empty food trey towards them, so that they could each have an extra serving of their own favorite treats. Treats that he seemed to have memorized them liking the most.

Or even how he'd cock his head in their direction, to listen in on their more outlandish ideas of how to solve some of the puzzles and problems they were given without a set of explicit rules to work with. Granted '22 never went with their bizarre ideas when he solved his own puzzles, but he seemed almost amused listening to some of the wilder takes. Even if he wouldn't do something quite like that himself.

Seeing him roll his eyes and his lips twitching ever so slightly upwards, had been the highlight of '85's day when he'd first seen it happening. It was hard work, but he really felt like he was getting somewhere.

Which, of course, made him really question why the other squads had found it so hard to work with his vod'ika... Surely being a little shy and independent shouldn't have lead to '22 being tossed out from 10 separate squads. Especially considering just how darn smart, attentive, considerate and resourceful he seemed to be.

It wasn't even that he didn't want to be a part of the team either

Seeing as '85 could tell just how much '22 wanted to engage. How his eyes followed them sometimes, not because he was scared, but because he wanted to join in on one of their free-time activities. He was just a little guarded! Guarded and unsure of how to meet them at the middle.

It made no sense... Until it did...

The true reason behind '22's reserved nature and difficulty integrating into other squads, had only come to light during an obstacle course of all things.

Now, obstacle courses weren't as difficult as combat, blaster and battle tactics training. There was not as much risk of injury, or room for arguments, when all you really had to do was get from point A to point B with only a few hurdles in between.

Except, as 4th cycle cadets, Flotsam squad was ready to be bumped up onto a new difficulty level that was outside of their comfort zone (the 3rd cycle courses were as easy as uj cake, for rambunctious and energetic boys like them).

And, with the hardness cranking up significantly, came something they were ultimately not prepared for: Practice fire to simulate their group getting shot at in the battlefield.

If you thought about, there was certainly a method to the madness. If clone cadets learned early on to be more attentive out in the field, then they would more likely survive their first deployment as fully fledged soldiers without losing their lives or limbs. But without any sort of warning or any real idea that they should be expecting more resistance than usual, Flotsam had ended up getting surprised in the worst way possible.

Which had less to do with learning a valuable lesson, and more to do with the trainer in charge of the exercise... They really didn't like trainer Bric.

Unsurprisingly, it had been '33 who had been the first to find out about the course's alteration. One moment he was rushing forward as he would any other round in the course, and then the next his startled yelp rang out so loudly that it had nearly drowned out the volley of stun shots suddenly zipping over their heads.

'37 had gotten hit trying to pull his twin to cover. His own cry of startled pain causing '85's heart to hammer in his chest, as '20 called out for him and '22 to stay put behind one of the obstacles they'd ducked behind of for safety.

There had then been a long break between the next shots actually hitting anyone. '20 had ducked and weaved expertly and as quickly as he could while running across the course to grab both '33 and '37, and he'd nearly made it all the way back with both of them if not for the fact he'd tripped and then gotten hit square on the leg.

And then '85 had made a mistake of his own. He'd gotten so worked up that he'd gone out of cover to try to help all three of his ori'vode, despite the entire exercise being more than a lost cause at this point...

In the end, he hadn't even seen '22 getting shot. He'd been too busy trying to rescue the rest of their team. But the pained whimper and the proceeding thud of a fallen body, were indication enough that his vod'ika had reluctantly followed him before getting hit himself.

And that should have honestly been the end of it... Until '22's whimpers turned into agonized panicked gasps.

The next few minutes had been... Perhaps chaotic was the better word for it. A cacophony of Bric yelling all kinds of expletives over the sound of tearing fabric, shredding flesh, breaking bones, grotesque gurgling, splattering fluids, and horrific wails.

If you were to ask him later about what he'd done when confronted with the situation, '85 wasn't quite sure how he'd initially reacted to the whole affair. This near-impossible gorefest of an event that he hadn't been able to fully comprehend at the time. All he knew was that he'd turned around to look at '22, and then suddenly he was at the far corner of the training room, squeezed between a trembling and wide-eyed '33 and '37, while '20 held his hand in a vice-grip.

Bearing witness to a vod who used to be smaller than average slowly become big enough to possibly hold their trainer in one hand, had been extremely traumatizing. For all of them.

All at once it had made too much sense. '22's resistance to showing any sort of vulnerability around them, aside from the obvious longing in his big sad eyes. Heck, '85 wasn't sure he himself would have been comfortable approaching anyone if he could... Do something like what '22 had just done in front of them...

It was cool. No doubt there! Like a superpower from those stories that some of the older vode illicitly acquired from sources unknown. But it was also...

It had sounded like it hurt. It had looked like it too.

Watching his giant-sized vod'ika slowly shake off the pain, only to then clumsily back away from their squad while looking at them with a horrified expression (clearly on the verge of crying, as well as becoming even more distressed every time either of his hands or feet crushed one of the obstacles on accident), everything really did click into place for '85. It wasn't really '22's behavior that had set him so apart. It was the fact that he was most definitely different from the other vode. Uniquely alone in his own personal plight.

And honestly that had made '85 burst into tears right there and then. Which of course seemed to set off '22's own waterworks...

Between just how much it had clearly hurt him to get so big, trainer Bric's continuous yelling, his new squad huddling away from him as if he were some kind of monster, and then the brother who'd tried so hard to include him starting to cry at the sight of him?

Yeah, '22 hadn't been having a good day at all...

So '85 had done the only thing he could think to do at the time. He'd shrugged off his ori'vode's grip on him and ran forward.

Now, '85 couldn't call himself the bravest of the bunch. He could be bold if he thought he had the advantage, no doubt there. But honestly he got spooked quite easily at times. He still slept in '20's pod when the storms got too loud sometimes!

Being so close to a literal giant was scary, incredibly so, especially one who was currently bawling his eyes out and sobbing so loudly that it made his ears hurt a little. But while '85 wasn't fearless he was still a softy.

And his vod'ika being so huge did not make him any less worthy of comfort. And stars knew he could have used some right then.

So he'd put his hand on one of '22's huge knees, and he'd started the most long-winded word vomit of a ramble he'd ever spat out in his entire short life. It wasn't the most eloquent speech, or even all that cohesive, but he'd hoped it was distracting enough to get '22 to stop crying. To his immense relief (and surprise) it had actually worked.

'22 had gone from curling in on himself crying his (not so) little heart out, to sniffling quietly while watching him with curious and slightly puffy eyes. Seeming almost unsure if he believed what was happening. Honestly '85 could hardly believe it himself, but he was at the very least happy to help his frightened vod'ika calm down.

"See? It's all good!" He'd grinned up in what he hoped was a confident manner, as he reached up to pat his brother's splotchy red nose, instantly trying not to grimace or shudder visibly in disgust when his hand came into contact with (a lot) of snot. "We're all ok! You're ok."

Or as ok as a giant nude cadet could be after wrecking an entire obstacle course. But really who could argue with him at the time? He was the one comforting said giant, acting brave when he was this close to peeing himself. And he was very thankful that he hadn't, in fact, peed his scrubs in the end. Mostly because 99 didn't deserve to have to deal with something so childishly pathetic... Speaking of which.

The janitorial clone had come through the door just as trainer Bric disappeared through it. He was steady-footed and self-assured, despite the rather astronomical nature of the situation.

Almost seeming unsurprising by '22's dilemma.

In fact, he seemed all too aware of what to do to deal with it. To both help them all relax and see that there was no danger to be found, as well as calm '22 enough that he could safely shrink back down. Which was equally as horrifying an event as him growing to giant size. Very gross too. It made a pair of soiled scrubs look like a walk in the park.

'85 really had not envied the mess that 99 had been left with to clean up, while Flotsam quietly ushered their shivering and naked kih'vod back to the barracks so he could get dressed. Nor did he envy the next group of cadets who would have to deal with whatever bullying tactics Bric might have in store for them (after being so suddenly humbled by the sight of a starship sized 4th cycle cadet).

They'd been told to help '22 dress, sneak him some food and water, and then wrap him up in all of their blankets so he could sleep a little better. 99 had been very explicit in his recommendations as to how to care for their little brother after he shrank back down. He'd even used his stern ori'vod voice, which was a very big deal!

And it hadn't been hard to see why he made sure they were well aware of how important it was to care for '22, after he'd gone through such an ordeal.

The poor kih'vod had barely been able to walk back on his own, and he'd practically been asleep with his eyes open as they pulled an extra set of undershorts and sleeping scrubs on his frail body. Had even proceeded to flop over like a boneless nuna once he'd had a quick bite and a few sips of water.

Growing and shrinking had drained him. Enough so that he'd not even remembered to be afraid of his squad. Instead curling up in the blanket cocoon while resting his head on '85's lap. Allowing him to run his fingers through his hair, like how he himself liked to have done when he had his headaches.

Soaking up the warmth of all four of his brothers curling around him protectively.

It had been both endearing and a little sad to actually have him seeking comfort in them. To show them so much vulnerability after something so traumatic. Especially when, after he'd waken up from his nap, he'd finally spoken to them just to ask when they'd be sending him away to be destroyed.

Even after they'd made sure he was comfortable, '22 expected to be kicked out. And that had made '85 seethe with anger at every other squad that had failed to be a good brother to his vod'ika. That had left him feeling so worthless and unwanted because of something he clearly couldn't control (and 99 had made sure they understand he couldn't control it).

Never again.

All four of them told him as much, and insisted on it once they were met with a look of disbelief. '22 hadn't believed them, but they would make sure to drill it into his head that he was stuck with Flotsam squad now. For better of for worse he was one of them now.

It was hard to ignore the spark of hope in his tired eyes.

In the end, size-shifting wasn't really all that big of a deal once they knew that's what they were dealing with. It'd taken a while to adapt and work around '22's lack of control of it, sure, but they'd compensated by making several contingency plans for it.

And a nice bonus that had come along with his unusual condition, was just how nice it was to have a bit of a trump card against the nastier trainers.

Nothing instilled the fear of the Manda in those natborn bullies, quite like being stared down by a cadet who could easily kick them all the way from Kamino to Rishi Maze. If they so much as got it in their heads to threaten any of Flotsam squad with violence, '22 only had to stare at them in a certain way to get them to back off. Bric had, after all, not remained quiet about what had happened with the obstacle course. And the fact the training room their little brother had accidentally wrecked had to be closed off for repairs for several weeks, had certainly left a lot of space for interpretation of just what exactly '22 was capable of.

The rumors that unfortunately rang loudest came from the vode who had actually repudiated '22. Those were also the ones that got 99 absolutely miffed whenever he caught wind of them (the ones from trainers got a twitch of the brow at best, but he never discouraged them because he too thought the natborns needed a healthy dose of fear to keep them in check around the younger cadets). And by proxy a miffed 99 usually meant a very pissed off Alpha-17 or Fordo on the prowl for snakes in the grass. Which ended with several disloyal small-minded brothers getting taught a lesson in brotherhood that was most definitely needed.

Aside from realizing just how many actually had their squad's back, it was genuinely also kind of nice to have a brother who was so very great to cuddle with after they were all done with course work, because he could very well serve as a heated bed. Even if '22 did kind of have a snoring problem.

Sure, the cuddling sessions were never really planned ahead of time. They sort of just happened anytime '85's vod'ika lost control of his ability. But who could say no to a vodpile after a long hard day of training? And if it got '22 a little more comfortable at his bigger size, that was a plus all on its own.

A win-win sort of deal.

If anything, it had just made it easier for the once skittish and very timid cadet to finally open up to their affections. Which was ultimately what '85 had hoped for since the very day he'd laid eyes on his baby brother. The future could only get brighter for them. Of that, 85 was sure.

Now if they could all just agree on a naming theme for all five of them, that'd be the icing on the cake... He really didn't fancy something corny like Teardrop or Softy, just as much as '22 would rather they not call him Bigman or Vodzilla (they were cool names too, but alas back to the drawing board it was!).

Maybe something about strength and perseverance? A true reflection of their positive attributes? Only time would tell.

#Eps Writes #star wars #the clone wars #clone trooper tup #clone trooper dogma #g/t #giant/tiny #size shifting #clone ocs

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