#-give me the autonomy to choose and to take your hand and love you through it all and we can learn together how to work for this

[theshadowsingersraven]

I don't understand why people are so adamant about the idea that SJM would/could change her entire writing style, love for fated mates, and patterns for Elain and Elain only.

Like, why? Why does everyone suddenly care about the "ethics" of a mating bond or the "wants of the character" just when it comes to Elain? Why do people suddenly stop loving fated mates, forced proximity, strangers to lovers, etc. when it comes to Elain? Why do people suddenly believe that her love story with her mate could overshadow her own growth and development when that didn't happen with Feyre or Nesta?

I don't understand why people in this fanbase treat Elain with this random ""autonomy"" that was never given to Feyre or Nesta. It's giving such infantilization for a character that these people swear up and down is underestimated (true) and yet they do the exact same thing the Inner Circle does, but in real life.

"Elain doesn't like Lucien!"

1. We don't know that. We don't have her POV, and she's only ever said that she doesn't want a mate, not that she has an issue with Lucien. We need her POV to know for certain how she feels. If you don't think we need that and her "body language" or "observable reactions" are enough, respectfully, nothing you say about Elain is going to be worth my time. If you can't acknowledge that a character can have more complex internal feelings that don't match her external expressions, especially considering how Nesta and Feyre behaved with their mates prior, then I don't want to hear any of your analysis. It seems surface-level at best, and I'm not interested in starting and ending character analysis at their surface-level, external behaviors.

2. Okay, say for instance that she doesn't like Lucien.

And?

Did we not all read Feyre going through not one but two enemies to lovers, forced proximity dynamics with both Tamlin and then Rhysand?

Feyre quite literally referred to Tamlin as her captor, and built traps in her room because she didn't feel safe in his manor.

Did any one of those same people give nearly as much of a shit that she didn't like either of them or wring their hands about it to this degree?

I can tell you one thing: I shipped Feylin during ACOTAR and then Feysand during ACOMAF, as I'm sure plenty of people did, too. And a majority of these people adore Feysand.

What about Nessian during ACOFAS and ACOSF?

Did any one of them give a shit that Nesta didn't have a "choice" either when SJM wrote a forced proximity love story for her character? When Nesta kept pushing away Cassian and told him to leave her alone? And Cassian believed that she wanted nothing to do with him? Shouldn't that greatly upset those people?

It didn't upset me because I like enemies to lovers and forced proximity tropes. I didn't question the morals of ethics of the tropes or the mating bond during their book. And if those same people didn't either, then I raise them all, as well as generally most of the fanbase this question:

Who cares if Elain doesn't like Lucien? Elain is a fictional character written by a fated mates and enemies-to-lovers author.

Like...what do you guys think you're reading? Do you not expect her character to change and evolve and thus feel differently about things?

I'm tired of these lukewarm, inconsistent takes that only prove that people just don't want her to be with Lucien because he isn't "as hot" (when everyone in the series remarks on how handsome Lucien is) or broody like Azriel is. I'm tired of people projecting themselves onto Elain and claim that they want what "she wants" when not a single one of us know for sure what she wants, and it's just an excuse for people to feel "correct" or "just" in their preference.

Everyone wants something for Elain if you have skin in the game for her endgame ship. Because you have to. Elain will never be able to choose her endgame for herself because she is a character, and SJM or fanfic authors writing her decide for her.

That is just how writing works. Love to break it to you.

Yes, she wanted Azriel at one point. But he rejected her by calling their almost-kiss a mistake, and then she gave back the necklace. There are no interactions between them on page after this.

We no longer know for certain what Elain "wants". We only have the last time SJM put on page what Elain currently feels toward Azriel and Lucien from other character's point of view.

Elain's character deserves better than the infantilizing stans that treat her as if she's somehow so beleaguered and victimized. She's not. She's a character with trauma, just like her sisters. She's a character that people will villianize or adore, just like her sisters. She's a character that gets both warranted and unfair criticism, just like her sisters. She's just a character.

Everyone's love or appreciation or disdain for her is real, but Elain herself will never be real. And some people really, really need to internalize this.

#anti e/riel #antielriel #acotar #sjm critical #acotar critical #pro elain #pro elain archeron #pro elucien #elucien

[derelictdumbass]

my birthday treat to myself: even more gay insane daydreams about characters loving my si/oc's on purpose and hearing all the gritty details of why they do things the way they do and why they might not be a perfect partner and saying fuck it I will love you with all of that and we will be better together and we will make each other happy and we will learn how to love each other with all our idiosyncrasies and we will do it all on purpose !!!!!!

#just thinking of the good ole: I am hard to love and i'm a good friend but a sucky partner and I react a certain way to things bc trauma- #-and i'm worried ur in love with all the good times and the bad times will make u run away and then i lose u as a friend as well #and the reply of: let me see all the broken angry parts of you and love them as much as i love the rest of you- #-give me the autonomy to choose and to take your hand and love you through it all and we can learn together how to work for this #i had an emotional night and we have been watching a kdrama that keeps getting me in the heart #nadine is typing...

[littlemonday]

The Emperor, The Ending, and that IGN Article

Note: This analysis was originally written and posted on the Larian forums for Baldur's Gate 3. You can find the original forum post here. This analysis includes a number of outside links to other posts I made on the Larian forums as well as the IGN article I'm referencing through out. If you choose to read the original forum post, I have a number of responses through out the thread. You'll recognize which responses are mine because I use the same name on the forums as I do here - LittleMonday.

This analysis first looks at the ending choices in the game, then transitions into a character analysis of The Emperor. Approximately 3,800 words. Lots of spoilers.

Let me first start out by saying that I love this game. It would be entirely unfair to say that this game is anything less than a triumph. The level of skill that goes into a collaborative process such as the making of a video game with a rich story, compelling characters, complex morality, beautiful animation, and an immersive environment is something that should not be hand-waved away. I’ve enjoyed hundreds of hours playing this game. Having said all of that, here’s (yet another) post of “we need to talk about the ending.”

If you’re unfamiliar with the recent-ish IGN interview with game director Swen Vincke and lead writers Adam Smith and Chrystal Ding, you can find it here. I’ll be focusing on their section of the interview concerning The Emperor and the end game choices.

LOTS AND LOTS OF SPOILERS AHEAD.

Let’s talk about the critical decision of siding with Orpheus or The Emperor.

I know a lot of people have pointed out that The Emperor joining the Netherbrain in the end if you side with Orpheus makes no sense, and I think it both does and doesn’t. He has always wanted freedom, and it’s almost certain that the moment he leaves the astral prism without Orpheus’ protection, he’ll be enthralled whether he’s willing or not. The explanation given in the article by Swen and Adam, as well as The Emperor in game, as “survival” feels like a 180 when his ultimate goal has been freedom. Why they chose not to focus on the fact that it’s game over for him as far as his autonomy under this circumstance is puzzling. Which brings me to my next point.

One of my biggest problems with the ending is how contrived the choices are. Along with The Emperor’s 180 mentioned above, Swen and Adam (Chrystal doesn’t say much) seem to have rigidly held on to this plot contrivance of choosing to become a monster, and in doing so, forces a binary ending whether it works within the narrative and gameplay or not.

Swen - “One of the basic questions of the game was whether you would become a monster if it would save the world. So that’s where you get that in that moment. And then the interesting bit was, well, if you’re not going to do it, are you going to ask someone else to do it, or [are] you just going to say, ‘F*ck everybody?’ That’s essentially what that moment was.”

Adam - “There was no way to save the city, save the world without giving up your own identity.”

The thing about a binary choice is that it only works if there truly are no other options available, however, the player has a lot more power and leverage in this situation than the game is willing to let them have. The Emperor wants his freedom and will be enthralled voluntarily or otherwise if he leaves the astral prism and cedes power to Orpheus. It’s also worth mentioning that when you help him defeat the Honour Guard, there’s an option to ask him about assimilating Orpheus, to which he answers that it may not work. So, assimilating is a big risk, and should it fail, he’s back to being a thrall.

Then there’s Orpheus. He cannot leave the astral prism without the players freeing him with the Orphic Hammer and cannot take on the Netherbrain unless he or someone else turns into an illithid. The player has leverage against The Emperor to persuade and/or intimidate him to join with Orpheus, and they also have leverage against Orpheus for the same thing. The whole speech Orpheus gives about how the player should have let his Honour Guard kill them and they would have taken on the Elder Brain before it evolved and became a Netherbrain is either a lie or delusion. You don’t even need to metagame to know this, yet the player has zero dialogue available to call Orpheus on this claim. He and his Honour Guard have been imprisoned in the astral prism for millennia with no means of escape, and no way of impacting the outside world. They weren’t going to stop anything, and yet, through the dialogue choices, the game treats this as though it were a given and that The Emperor held all the cards and kept this from you. He didn’t. He truly is the reason you’re alive to face the Netherbrain. Given the gravity of being on the cusp of The Grand Design, calling Orpheus on the impotence of him and his Honour Guard, and also potentially being under threat of having his brain consumed if he does not cooperate, there is plenty to leverage against Orpheus to get him to at least temporarily ally with the player and The Emperor. If you’ve struck a deal with Voss, you have even more leverage.

Beyond the other options that I believe should be available, I don’t think becoming a monster or “f*ck everybody” comes through in the ending at all. It seems like they expect players to side with Orpheus when there are plenty of role play reasons to side with The Emperor, and then no one has to become a monster, and you still save the city. The Githyanki aren’t even doomed under this ending just like they’re not doomed if Orpheus transforms and dies in the end so he doesn’t live as a mind flayer. If anything, the theme of freedom, autonomy, and alliances, I thought, came through more strongly, both with defeating the Netherbrain and with the companion quests. Under this theme, an option to persuade/intimidate Orpheus and The Emperor to work together actually makes more sense because they have to put aside their hatred for one another to accomplish the same goal of defeating the Netherbrain and obtaining their freedom. The intention seems to have been for the player to make a significant personal sacrifice to save the world, but I just don’t think that it was executed particularly well.

I think this is a good time to say that authorial intent should never be the end of one’s analysis of a text. If an author/director/writer/artist/creator tells you what their intention was, it doesn’t mean the text supports that. We don’t always execute something we create the way we intended to.

And that brings me to the next thing I want to discuss.

Let’s talk about The Emperor as a character.

I want to start out by saying that The Emperor is my favorite character. I enjoy a compelling and nuanced monster that subverts our expectations, and I think The Emperor provides a lot of that while also not living up to his full potential. I’ve already written a post on this forum regarding why I think we need to have a fully fleshed-out romance for The Emperor that you can read here. I’ll be focusing on his writing for this. I wrote at length about what I enjoy about the character in another thread on this forum, that you can find here, but I’ll include a quote:

“What’s unique about The Emperor is how he subverts our expectations. Yes, he’s manipulative, but he never mind controls you. He’s this supposedly asexual creature, yet he’s sexually interested in the player character and is heavily coded as a romantic male lead. He’s also supposed to be this heartless and soulless creature, but expresses care for the player character, and if you romance him, he’s sweet, vulnerable, and sincere. He’s supposed to be part of this hive mind, yet he wants his freedom and actively encourages the player character to form alliances to defeat the Netherbrain. He needs to feed off the brains of others, but avoids the innocent. He may want the player character to change into an illithid, but he leaves that choice entirely to you. He’s alien, yet very human and desires allies and companionship.”

I was under the impression from this interview that Swen largely sees The Emperor as a plot device, while the writers saw him as a character, even if he has a specific purpose in the narrative. There’s even a very awkward part of the interview in which Adam refers to The Emperor as “he,” quickly corrects himself to refer to him as “they,” only for Swen to insist that The Emperor is an “it,” even saying that “we often had this fight” when referring to his pronouns. I personally think that’s a bit revealing, though you may disagree.

For additional context, Swen, Adam, and Chrystal all agree that The Emperor is manipulative and self-serving, but that he never lies to you. Swen will later reiterate this very point when talking about Raphael:

Swen - “Raphael… a lot of what he says you can’t trust, but he is honest. And at one point, if you push him on it, he says, ‘All you are to The Emperor is a pack animal that’s carrying him to where he needs to be.’”

There’s another awkward exchange in which Adam speaks to The Emperor being terrified of going back to the Elder Brain. Swen then remarks:

Swen - “he’s not really terrified he doesn’t have that level of emotion.”

Adam - “Well, yeah, but I think that there’s a level of horror in being… Going back to what he escaped from.”

Now with all of that context laid out, I think his manipulative nature is pretty uncontroversial in the game’s text. He is self-serving - he doesn’t really hide that from you - he speaks in partial truths, and you are a means to an end. At least at first. And, this is where I think he becomes a more complex character whether Swen realizes it or not.

As a side note on how he manipulates the player: there’s this strange bit of dialogue with The Emperor in which you can call him on the fact that he’s hidden information from you throughout your entire alliance, and he responds by acknowledging that, saying that he purposefully lead you to believe that the githyanki Honour Guard were evil beings. I don’t recall this at all. He tells you that they would have killed you because to them you are already illithid, which is all true. It’s a strange bit of dialogue in the end that doesn’t follow what’s been established in the game.

That aside, I’ve heard many people hand-wave away all of his behavior as insincere and solely for the purpose of manipulating the player, however, I think that’s, at best, a shallow reading of the text. He may be manipulating the player character, but that’s hardly the only thing going on, where a character like Raphael is truly only manipulating the player character. In the interview, Swen, Chrystal, and Adam all say that he doesn’t lie, however, I think a more precise way of saying that based on what we see in the game, is that he doesn’t fabricate lies. He doesn’t make up a lie out of whole cloth, but rather omits information that he doesn’t think is relevant, or that doesn’t serve his purpose. Perhaps the most infamous example of this is his relationship with Belynne. As long as you remain on good terms with The Emperor, he frames their relationship as two allies working towards a common goal in The Knights of The Shield. However, if you become hostile, provoke, and dehumanize him, he reveals that Belynne was his unwilling thrall.

I’m hardly the first to point out that this cutscene is a bit suspicious. The timing of such a reveal and The Emperor framing it as “why hide” or “will this make you feel better” is an obvious threat to someone who seems likely to betray you the moment they can. The cutscene also has The Emperor casually revealing his identity to someone other than Belynne, much to this unnamed person’s horror. That is already out of line with how he conducts himself. After her death, we can have this interesting conversation with The Emperor in which he further discusses his relationship with her. With hindsight, it’s obvious that when he says their relationship “was not love” it was “deeper,” and that it was “unique,” he is referring to when she was his thrall. But, he also reveals in some dialogue options that she understood his needs, his desire for freedom, and that she didn’t trust a mind flayer at first, suggesting that she wasn’t initially his thrall. He even describes himself as being “haunted” by memories of her. We don’t know exactly what memories are haunting him, but we do know that the dialogue option with the thrall cutscene, he says to the pc “aren’t you glad I finessed my methods?” Even when he calls you his puppet, at no point in the game will he enthrall you or your party members.

It’s worth mentioning that it is well within DnD lore that mind flayers grow attached to their thralls and mourn their passing, but we later find documents in the game, one from a physician, that when The Emperor came to visit Belynne as her condition progressed, that it eased her “body and mind.” We also find a document suggesting that he was impersonating her through magic as one eye witness account described a floating blue figure, but that it turned out to just be Belynne smiling. I bring all this up because what I believe we’re seeing here is an incomplete portrait of their relationship. I think it suggests that they were once genuine allies before he enthralled her, and that he’s mourning more than just her passing, but also the deterioration of their relationship. I think this also helps to explain why he never enthralls the pc, even if it would mean preventing them from taking some very dangerous paths that jeopardize their mission. The Emperor is an unreliable narrator who speaks in partial truths, so I don’t believe that either version of their relationship you get from him is the whole truth, but is not entirely false either. This game very often takes a more-than-meets-the-eye approach to characters and storylines, so this is well within what we have come to expect from this game. She may have been a means to an end on some level, but she was hardly only a means to an end.

As far as that strange comment from Swen that The Emperor “does not have that level of emotion,” we actually feel his fear regarding the Elder Brain as it’s breaking free from the crown’s control. If the pc romances him, we literally feel that he cares for the pc, and in some interactions of this scene he’ll tell the pc that he enjoys their mind, and refers to their relationship as a bond of love. Before the final battle, one of the NPCs invokes Balduran’s name right before battle, and if you’ve allied with The Emperor, you feel his amusement that they have no idea who he once was. There’s even that scene with the Guardian at the beginning of Act 2 in which a successful insight check reveals that he is hiding the depth of his pain. I know there’s that note that The Emperor left for Ansur about no longer feeling his feelings, but he clearly does feel. He even describes the grief he feels over Belynne as “not entirely unwelcome.” The Emperor is an arrogant and prideful character, and he doesn’t seem to be entirely self aware as to his own humanity because he sees himself, as a mind flayer, to be superior.

For most endings, The Emperor will just depart after defeating the Netherbrain, much like the other companions who also go their separate ways. So, I don’t think this is necessarily an indication that the pc was merely a means to an end. However, (big spoilers here) there are two endings in which he does reveal his feelings for the pc. In a solo ending in which the pc doesn’t transform, he’ll tell them “you have become… important to me. And should our paths cross again, I will be glad to see you.” There’s also an ending where, if the pc transforms into an illithid, he will ask to stay together to rebuild the Knights of the Shield. There’s an option to tell him to think bigger, at which point he’ll say to them “Have I ever told you how much I enjoy you? Lead the way…”

I also want to note that right before the above mentioned exchange with The Emperor, the Narrator has a line that in being a mind flayer, all your companions become tools or food, but then contrasts that with:

“Perhaps you are unique among illithid-kind. Perhaps you will retain enough of who you are to resist your nature. A rogue mind flayer. Like The Emperor.”

This is a pretty straightforward acknowledgement that The Emperor does have the capacity for relationships beyond mere tools for his use.

All this is to say that there seems to be some genuine relationship building with The Emperor, which makes it, in some ways, more strange that he’s so quick to abandon the player and join the Netherbrain should you choose to free Orpheus. Many players have noted that trust is one way with The Emperor, and if that’s the angle Swen and the writers were going with him, then why have The Emperor demonstrate trust in the pc’s leadership? Yes, there are moments in the game in which he admonishes the pc, disagrees with them, attempts to persuade them away from a decision, hell even probes their mind if they lie to him about the meeting with Raphael, but he’s actually very reasonable when it comes to the pc’s autonomy and decision making. If you save the Grove, he’ll even compliment you on your leadership. He’s so hands off in so many ways, but when he does interject about certain quests like the Crèche, Ansur, or The House of Hope, those are extraordinarily dangerous quests that risk everything. They risk you, him, and anyone left behind to be subjected to the Grand Design, but he never stops you. He actually does demonstrate a lot of trust in the pc even if they’re not the most reliable at times.

I said earlier that I think the intended ending was to have the player join with Orpheus, then the pc, or one of the companions turns into an illithid. This requires a sacrifice and sets up this dramatic encounter with The Emperor in which he rides in on a red dragon and summons your dream guardians to fight you. This could have been a powerful moment, however, I think it largely falls flat when you have this forced binary decision with a character, who may be unlikable, but is actually pretty reasonable throughout. If you’ve romanced The Emperor, or are at least on friendly terms, this binary ignores the prior relationship development of the pc being more than a means to an end by not at least allowing for some kind of exchange and option for striking an alliance.

But, let’s just say you have romanced The Emperor, but the twist is that you are merely a means to an end. Well, that’s not clearly laid out either. There’s no moment to confront him, and the only acknowledgment of an intimate relationship comes when he castigates the pc and reminds them that they didn’t “reject” him, but “enjoyed” him. (If anything, that implies you used him). He just leaves and that's that. Along with everything I laid out earlier, it’s not so much a twist, as it’s incomplete writing. This isn’t even the only example of incomplete writing. Remember how your companions were able to witness your night with The Emperor but no one said anything the next morning? The so-called fix was to have The Emperor wipe their memories without any regard for the implications. The pc doesn’t have a dialogue option regarding such an action, and the only vague textual clue that this is something he does is that he may have done some memory manipulation with Belynne’s doctor. However, the doctor can still recall a lot of details of The Emperor’s visits, she just has trouble recalling his appearance. He either doesn’t or can’t completely erase her memory of his visits, even though she finds him suspicious and erasing her memory entirely might be safer for him to do. Other than that, it’s just the one line he speaks that was thrown into the game a couple of patches in. Even then the companions still don’t react to the “enjoyed me” line, or the “fornicated with a mind flayer” line if you side with Orpheus. We love hearing our companions react, so why not have that in there? It would certainly be more entertaining at the very least.

Whether these inconsistencies come down to creative differences between Swen and the two lead writers is speculation. No one was in the writing room with any of them, but this interview was, nonetheless, enlightening in some respects. I do hope that at some point The Emperor can be a fully realized character, and one that’s in line with the depth he is given in the game. And I would hope that would go along with additional ending choices that better reflect the narrative that comes before that crucial decision. A binary choice like the one we currently have doesn’t work for many playthroughs, even if it may work for some. I would like to see that someday reflected in our final choices.

Lastly, while I’ve laid out a fair amount of criticism in this post, my intention was not to cynically nitpick every inconsistency. I even deleted some things I originally planned on including here, because I realized that not all plot contrivances actually weaken the story. I want to repeat that I still love this game, and when I say it’s a triumph, I do sincerely mean that. I know all too often fans may request changes to the game or characters as a sort of wish fulfillment, but those changes would ultimately end up undermining the narrative or themes. I’ve tried my best to avoid that here, and I hope I have.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #the emperor #the emperor bg3 #media criticism #media analysis #spoilers #baldurs gate 3

[whisperofsong]

Pairing: Bradley Rooster Bradshaw x Female Reader

Summary: The story of how your friendship with Bradley came to fruition.

Note: I realize I haven’t written about our beloved Bradley in a while, so I wanted to show him some love. Thank you for reading my work!

____________________________________________

The professor’s voice drones on and you feel your hand cramping, but push through the pain despite the ache radiating from your wrist to your hand. You’ve only been in class for a half hour with another thirty minutes to go and have already managed to fill up four pages with notes. If it weren’t a requirement, you would have dropped this course weeks ago.

Once the professor reminds you of the readings due next class and wishes everyone a smooth remainder of the week, you quickly gather your belongings and head out of the rustic building. You’re hoping your preferred seat in the library will be available. Even though there are plenty of seats to choose from, you’ve become quite fond of this particular seat because it’s close to the vending machines and isolated from the entrance, providing you with enough quiet to concentrate on your studies.

Before you’ve reached the door that leads outside, you hear labored breathing behind you followed by a deep voice. “You’re tough to catch up to.”

When you turn your head, you realize the comment is directed at you and give the guy who you recognize from your class a quizzical look. “Uh…yeah. I’m not much for leisurely strolls,” you explain.

“I gathered that.” He matches your pace so that the two of you are walking in sync and you can’t help but wonder why he’s walking with you. Almost as if he’s a mind reader, he answers your unspoken question.

“I’m actually in your class and wanted to know if you’d be willing to share your notes from the lecture.”

As a result of being a diligent student and taking meticulous notes, you’re not surprised to receive such a question. Word gets around…or he happened to notice the ridiculous speed at which your hand was moving throughout class. “I’m heading to the library right now, so if you have another class-“

“My next class isn’t until later this afternoon,” he interjects. “I’ll join you.”

“That’s pretty presumptuous considering I didn’t agree to letting you use my notes.” When you glance at him, you notice his reddened cheeks and hold in laughter at the fact that he’s embarrassed easily. You walk in silence for a few more seconds until you decide you’ve tortured this guy enough. “Follow me,” you tell him and proceed to pick up your pace, causing him to do the same.

You’re pleased to find your favorite seat unoccupied and pull your notebook out from your worn backpack. Once you’ve opened up to the first page of notes, you hand them to the guy with a smile.

“Thank you,” he says genuinely as he takes it from you. “I’m Bradley, by the way.”

“Really? You don’t look like a Bradley,” you comment.

This takes him by surprise and an amused smirk appears. “What exactly does a Bradley look like?” he inquires.

“More distinguished,” you answer breezily without looking up from your laptop.

He laughs and you look up at the sound of it, its heartiness warming your insides. You feel yourself laughing a little, too.

“Didn’t take you long to answer that one.” Bradley chuckles while pulling out the chair across from you.

You return to a paper you were working on last night and begin typing furiously. Without glancing up from your current task, you reply, “It doesn’t take me long to answer much. I like to think I have an answer for everything.”

“Can I get your name?”

“Y/N.”

“That suits you,” he answers. He begins copying your notes before he reengages you in conversation. “How’d you end up at UVA?” His eyes remain on his notebook, but it’s clear he’s capable of multitasking as he waits for your response.

“It’s far enough from home that I can have some autonomy, but close enough that I can go home on weekends. It also happens to have a renowned business program and I’ve wanted to major in business for as long as I can remember.”

“I can see that,” he says thoughtfully as he stares at you.

You cock your head to the side and shoot him a skeptical look. “Considering that you just met me, you’re likely to believe anything I tell you.”

He purses his lips, momentarily glancing down. “Maybe so. But you wouldn’t lie.”

“What makes you so sure?” you challenge him.

“Your alarming honesty a few minutes ago convinced me of that.” A slow smile forms on his face and you feel one tug at your lips, too.

For the next couple of hours, you and Bradley converse effortlessly and you find yourself enjoying his company. He reveals that he’s majoring in political science and has an ardent desire to follow in his father’s footsteps by joining the Navy. Beyond this, he’s tight lipped about his home life, but you don’t pry. That’s his business, not yours.

You two find some common ground in the movies you watch and the music you listen to, but you scoff when he mentions Jerry Lee Lewis’s “Great Balls of Fire.”

“You’re not serious.”

“What’s wrong with ‘Great Balls of Fire?’ It’s insanely catchy.”

“We can agree to disagree,” you sigh.

“Not until you tell me why you don’t like it,” Bradley continues, twirling the pencil in his hand and staring at you intently.

You look up and stare back, hoping he’ll relent and move on to a different subject. However, it’s clear he’s not going to surrender and after another minute of staring him down, you give into his demand.

“Ugh, fine. There’s nothing thrilling about loving someone so much that it turns your brain to complete mush and affects your ability to function,” you declare sourly. His eyes are still locked on you, but he’s quiet. You suddenly feel somewhat embarrassed, so you clear your throat and return your attention to your paper.

“That’s definitely…a unique take,” he muses.

“Like I said, I have an answer for everything.”

____________________________________________

Several days later, you’re rifling through your drawers as you search for something suitable to wear to the party. Before leaving the library the other day, Bradley invited you to a party his friend’s fraternity is hosting and while that wouldn’t typically be your scene, you decided to live a little. Besides, isn’t that what college is all about?

You settle on a black lace top with spaghetti straps, jeans, and knee high black boots. You pull your hair back with a clip and after putting on some mascara and lipstick, you head out the door and walk a few short blocks to the fraternity house.

When you walk in, your nostrils are met with the smell of cheap alcohol and marijuana. You scrunch up your nose and weave your way through the tight crowd in search of an alcoholic beverage to get you through the evening. Your body slightly relaxes upon seeing a table lined with various options and as you grab a cup, someone moves next to you.

“What’s your drink of choice?”

“Whatever will get me buzzed the fastest,” you quip.

“I like that.” You glance up to find a tall guy with sandy blond hair and an evergreen flannel shirt peering down at you with a Cheshire Cat smile. He’s cute enough, but you’re not in the mood to interact with a guy right now.

“I haven’t seen you before. What brings you to our humble abode?”

“Someone invited me,” you answer while taking a big sip of your drink.

“Remind me to thank them later,” he winks before taking a few sips from his own cup.

You choose not to respond and are about to make an excuse so you can exit, but he starts talking again. “Listen, would you ever be willing to hang out? You know, just the two of us?”

You raise your eyebrows, stunned by this guy’s boldness. You don’t know if you’re more outraged by his lack of effort to get to know you or by his assumption that you’d want to spend alone time with him when you know so little about him. He’s licking his lips while staring directly at your chest and you couldn’t be more opposed to his offer if you tried. “Actually, I-“

“Sorry about that, babe. The bathroom line was longer than I expected.” Bradley sidles up next to you and wraps his arm loosely around your shoulders. You’re momentarily startled and perplexed by his abrupt appearance…until you realize what he’s doing. He’s saving you.

You reach up to intertwine your fingers with his and gaze at him sweetly. “No worries. It’s not the first time you’ve kept me waiting.” You give him a playful look before turning back to face flannel guy.

“I see you’ve met my girlfriend, Y/N.”

“Girlfriend?”

“That’s right,” you affirm, placing your palm on Bradley’s broad chest. “It’s only been a few months, but it feels longer.”

“Never enough time with you, babe,” Bradley retorts.

“Yeah…well, I should, uh, get back to the party.”

“You do that, Russell,” Bradley answers and you hold back laughter upon learning the name of the guy who never stood a chance with you.

After he awkwardly walks away, you look up at Bradley and giggle. “That was pretty smooth.”

He shrugs and takes a sip of his drink. “You looked like you could use the help.” He smiles down at you and realizes his arm is still draped around your shoulder. When he removes it, you find yourself disappointed at the loss of contact. As he surveys the crowd, your eyes move up and down, taking in his appearance. He’s dressed in a snug black t-shirt and jeans. It’s a simple look that does him wonders.

The volume of the music increases, causing the floor to vibrate, so you lean up on your tiptoes in order to get close to his ear. “Thank you,” you shout. “For saving me. I guess even I need to be rescued sometimes.”

“And you’re admitting that to me of all people?” he questions with a smirk.

You shrug, but maintain eye contact. When the music is lowered once again, you’re grateful.

“I thought you have an answer for everything?” he prompts teasingly.

“I guess I don’t,” you say honestly before turning away and looking straight ahead. What Bradley doesn’t realize is you’re reliving the sensation of his arm wrapped around you and wondering how you can get him to do it again. What you don’t realize is Bradley currently watching you and hoping he’ll be seeing a lot more of you in the future.

@bradshawsbaby @gretagerwigsmuse @roosterforme @bratshaws @sebsxphia @theforgottenmcrmy

#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun maverick #top gun maverick fanfiction

[francesderwent]

Taylor famously writes from this place poised between two realities: her conviction that true love is real and that it lasts forever, and her experience of love breaking down and falling short. her songs can be wistful, hopeful, or they can be devastated, accusatory, and specifically accusatory of a moral failing. she’s not angry because her feelings were hurt, she’s angry because there was a standard which wasn’t met, angry because promises were made (even implicitly!) which weren’t kept. it keeps her music from being small—small-minded or small-souled. her hope doesn’t have to be naive, and her hurt doesn’t have to be navel-gazing, because it’s not about her, ultimately. it’s about the truth of love and how we’re all longing for that, and all capable of living up to love’s demands if only we choose to. she can confront everything that she’s been told about love, that it’s a “ruthless game”, that maybe she “asked for too much”, and she can measure it against what she knows is true and sift out the lies. the pillars of Taylor are “Love Story”, “Better Man”, and “All Too Well”: she looks at the tragedy of love and says over and over “here’s how you could have fixed things. here’s how you give the whole of yourself. it was your choice and you chose not to and that’s on you.”

Maisie is different. outside of the Trying soundtrack, written for a fictional story not her own, songs about a love that is whole and true are few and far between. her conviction that true, romantic love is real and achievable just isn’t as present. but just as much as Taylor, her songwriting comes from a place of held tension, of what we’ve been told meeting up with what we’ve experienced meeting up with what’s true. however, the realities that she’s encountering have always been different. Maisie is poised between on the one hand, the messages being fed to young women that they’re powerful and don’t need a man, and on the other hand, her experience of unavoidable vulnerability. or put another way: Maisie is poised between the flat egalitarianism of the more thoughtless kind of feminism, and the reality of asymmetrical relations between men and women. 

part of this, as we’ve said before, is that Maisie is so sisterful that even when she writes an independence anthem there is always a community lurking just around the corner. independence, for her, isn’t Enlightenment autonomy, holding herself together by her own power and beholden to no one. independence is friends holding each other up through communal heartbreak, growing and dancing and healing together—with a vividness that “New Romantics” never quite achieved. “Girls House” tells us very literally: an awful person got one year of trying to hurt her, but the next year isn’t for her alone, it’s for all the girls in her house. even the songs that are explicitly written along the lines of “I don’t need a man” have this echo in them: “I don’t need a man, because I know what it is to be loved.” you can only say “if you don’t want me, then you’re not the one,” or “loving him hurts, loving him don’t work, so love him I don’t” if you are absolutely convicted of what you are worthy of. that’s when you feel able to walk away. you could even make the argument that Maisie’s community of women building her up and filling her life takes the place of Taylor’s faith in true love. it’s what allows her to set standards, even as she remains pretty suspicious of romantic daydreams. 

but the other thing that saves Maisie’s music from being a non-stop one-note anthem of girlbossery, is that when she writes about hurt, about being done wrong, she gets right to the heart of a dynamic which gives the lie to a worldview in which men and women simply meet each other on equal ground. and I don’t even have to mention “History of Man” yet, because the other pillar of Maisie, besides “John Hughes Movie” and “Love Him I Don’t”, is actually “Worst of You”. Maisie’s clear-eyed recognition of inevitable inequality, the inequality that’s born because one person loves more, has been there since the beginning, and she doesn’t flinch away from it: “what was cheap to you, to me was all I had”. she said it flat out when YSUFT came out: “I’m not trying to write an empowerment album right now. I’m just telling the truth.” the implication is clear: a story in which women are simply empowered is not the truth. there is an asymmetry, which Genesis 3:16 describes as “desire” on the part of the woman (“she loves him more than anyone ever has in the history of man”) and “lording it over” on the part of the man (“you could just stop wanting me”). it’s not the ultimate truth of man and woman—Maisie isn’t resigned, she tries again and again to rewrite it—but it is a universal truth. it’s not just her terrible taste in men, making her fall for another rockstar. it’s not just immaturity, boys rather than men. it’s the whole history of man.

if Taylor is looking at human beings mired in sin and weakness and measuring them against the eternal standards of Love, Maisie is looking at the blind optimism of modernism and its denial of sin and measuring it against the fallenness that has been man’s for all of history. they’re looking at different dimensions of reality, and both of them are correct. Taylor’s is the discovery of the capital-I Ideal, realer than the real, which we all desire; Maisie’s is the discovery of the capital-R Real, realer than our desires for a lowercase-i ideal. because of this, they fall into opposite weaknesses: Taylor can sometimes be so preoccupied with the Ideal that she misses the way in which what she’s dealing with in reality actually isn’t that and therefore lets too much slide (False God, Lavender Haze). Maisie is so realistic that her daydreams don’t dream big enough, and she fails to escape the same old traps (Cate’s Brother). But Taylor, at her best, is able to look at an individual’s failings and says with confidence and empathy, “it is a lie that this is all you were capable of or all that love ever was. a love which gives everything and lasts forever is what’s true.” And Maisie, at her best, looks at the overly optimistic fantasies of empowerment in the hookup age and says “it is a lie that this is harmless. it’s a lie that this will make me free and happy. this is degrading and heartbreaking and unbalanced and that’s what’s true. so love you I don’t.”  

#this is me admitting I need a music tag #inspired by maria’s Guts review #inspired by grace and I both latching onto Genesis 3:16 for History of Man #inspired by remembering that Worst of You has been there this whole time

[zorkaya-moved]

❝  i was sort’ve hoping you needed me.  is that selfish?  ❞ ( mammon )

@xamassed

Zarina leaned back against the armrest, legs splayed across the couch and resting on the Avatar of Greed's lap while scrolling through Devilgram as Asmodeus asked her to check out some of the photoshoots he's done prior to her seeing Mammon. It only added to their conversation, this laid-back situation suddenly taking a new turn she did not expect. Eyes of gold finally move away from the D.D.D. screen to glance at the demon, who seemed to be sulking or upset or a mix of two. She wouldn't be surprised; it was supposed to be their time, but ignoring Asmodeus' inquiry would then lead to less-than-favorable moments. She didn't enjoy breaking promises (even if she was forced to give this one).

Thankfully, she was done. It was time to place D.D.D. on the table and let her hand rest on her stomach as she tilted her head to the side while looking over Mammon's side profile. He wasn't looking at her when he was saying that, huh. Well, she didn't need to lie about what she thought. Truth and honesty were more essential here.

"Is it selfish? Yes, in a sense, but I don't see what you want from me as a 'need', Mammon," she doesn't beat around the bush, looking at him without any joke or malice behind those words. Is it selfish to want another's attention when they are busy? Yes, but it's not like she is different. Not only that, but does she really expect herself or Mammon to not have that selfish bone in their bodies? Also, no. Selfishness exists in different ways; it shows its face in any sin and even in virtues too. "It doesn't sound like a 'need' but more of a 'want,' which I would happily indulge you in."

She taps her chin as she crosses her legs over his lap. There is something about her thought process she does out loud that makes her be absolutely insufferable to some people. As someone who keeps it short and simple usually, she goes into these tangents either to explain the complexity of the words stated or to underline just how exactly she feels to not leave any sign of doubt.

"This isn't the right position to talk about this," she suddenly concludes, pushing herself up to sit down normally with a soft groan, letting her feet touch the floor as she turned to face him. "Alright, returning back to what I wanted to say."

Sokolova doesn't waste time or her breath to continue explaining what she means. Selfishness isn't bad; it's something that she knows exists, but she finds his wish for her to need him rather adorable. It's heartwarming how much he wants her, yearns for her, and desires to be with her. It reassures her and feeds her own ego, but also makes her love for him blossom all the more.

"I don't see the 'need' as something that fits our relationship. There is a need for water, food, and air. In my eyes, a 'need' dictates something you need to live and survive by. You've lived perfectly fine without me before, which means you do not need me to live and prosper in the future. That borderline on co-dependency and I wish for you to remain your own person as would I," she continues to make it convoluted, but it's just how she lives and how her mind works. He's fallen for a woman who is so specific about her words and who so earnestly loves him. Yes, there are annoying moments where she just doesn't seem to make sense until you hear the very last words. Each sentence had a meaning. She doesn't want to take the autonomy out of relationships, nor does she want to think that if she dies, then he dies as well. Their time is vastly different, and she doesn't possess immortality like Solomon does. That's why she doesn't like the 'need' being used here because she doesn't want him to 'need' her, like one needs air, food, rest, water, and more to continue living. "However, because you do not need me to live, I find you wish to be by my side to be all the more vital. You choose to be with me, you want to be with me, and you continue to stay. You don't need me, but you want me. There are billions of humans in the Human World, but you set your eyes on me. You chose me. And the way your greed continues to manifest in wishing for my presence by your side and my attention on you? I find it endearing, because I feel the same way."

Zarina knew she could've so easily made it shorter and make it less complicated, but her mind was her own, and sharing the way it worked was quite nice. Mammon may not understand the reasoning behind her being so specific about words, but she didn't mind that either. If anything, she made sure to not let him look away by cupping his cheek and turning his face to look at her. Her golden gaze sparkles with adoration and affection for him. The Avatar of Greed was the most important person to her in this world. Need doesn't even come close to what she feels or what she experiences when it comes to him. A 'need' can be easily fulfilled, but her desire and her wish and her want cannot be.

"I don't 'need' you to live, Mammon, but I want you to be with me. I choose to be with your every single day; I want to be by your side for as long as time allows. I don't want you to 'need' me to live, I prefer you wanting me," she notices how the tonality of her voice softens; a gentler side to it shows. Sometimes, she doesn't recognize her own voice when she speaks with such warmth to Mammon, but it makes her happy: it's love, it's true love. "There is nothing more I want to encourage than your selfishness when it comes to me. I want your love, I want your desire, I want your scheming nature, and I want your greed to be focused on me." And she knows she's messed up for encouraging the Avatar of Greed, but it doesn't matter. Her love is not just innocent and pure; it has its dark specks that come from her livelihood and her experience. Zarina then climbs on his lap to then hold his face in both of her hands, settling down while trapping him between her thighs. "I want you to continue to want me to be by your side, to say your name, to give you attention. I want your greed to remain insatiable because only I must be able to feed it to its satisfaction. And I want the same from you. Only you can satiate my hunger, my own personal greed. No one else. Do I need you, Mammon? I'm afraid, a small word like that cannot describe exactly how I feel about you."

Maybe, she was a demon, too. Maybe, she was a demon for him. Not like she wanted to hide it. There just wasn't enough time to explain exactly how much he means to her and how much she wants him, his presence, and his everything to be in her life. Her 'need' will only awaken if he's no longer by her side. Because he won't be where she could reach him. But would that be a 'need'? She doesn't know. What she knows is that she loves him, in both beautiful and morbid ways. It was dangerous, but she didn't mind it. If it meant he won't hold back? Good.

#xamassed #it got so long im sos orry rtyubhrty #zarina really wanted to put it into words what she feels about him #and she got dark at the end because ofc she would #encouraging his greed? absolutely. enabling. #zar vc: if not for my work and my need to retain relationships with others i would've monopolized you but alas... #❄ ― IN CHARACTER. ╱ you breathe by the sun，i breathe by the moon.

[twisted-art-wounders]

YGO AU Leviathan Rising

The Three Gods are back but will they be enough to stop perfect Leviathan’s rule?

Chapter 28 Return of the Gods

The idea was rolling around in Yugi's mind; what would the world look like if he designed it? What new amazing things could he create if he had the power to do so? What would people be like under his order? Would people finally be peaceful? No more violence...no more hate...no more conflict...everyone would be like...dolls.

All of humanity would be his toys; he could make them act as he wished. No one would ever be hurt, no one would be above anyone else, they could all get long and play together under his reign and Levi could make it happen...Was he really considering this? His mind again flashed back to that pinnacle moment with Yami Yugi, the moment that changed everything for them.

<i>Choice.</i>

It all came down to a choice...

Yugi took in a deep breath and looked into Levi's golden eyes; Yugi thumbed along the god's hands as show of affection before letting out his breath gently.

“Levi, I could make you stop. I could make you do exactly as I wish can't I? I am your heart after all...” Yugi was gentle with his words always so gentle.

Levi smiled, all he ever wanted was for Yugi to feel good about himself, to feel as special as he knew he was. To Levi he was more then a mere mortal; he was force of pure kindnesses, an endless well of love and compassion, a heart so strong he could turn the very tides themselves, move the very heavens on a mere whim, truly he was a god.

“But I don't believe that.”

Levi became confused once he said that, he looked him in the eyes asking what he meant.

“It is true you changed after meeting me but I wasn't the one who made you change, not on my own. YOU made that choice...You choose not to lock me away with the other souls, you choose to get to know me, at any time you said you could just take over my soul and I'd have no say in it what so ever.”

Levi stopped and started to think about what he was saying but it still wasn't adding up where was he going with this?

“You chose to help me when I felt like a failure for letting the other me play the seal, You showed me how to let my anger out, you made me feel so powerful and in control...You chose to fall in love with me...You said before as god of the orichalcos you were only made to do one thing and that was destroy and devour but you surpassed all of those expectations of you! You even betrayed Dartz! You were willing to end this whole world if only to make us rebuild it together.”

“I did it for you! This has all been for you!” Levi shouted.

“Yes but these are all choices <i>YOU MADE</i>. This means you have your own autonomy, your own desires, your own feelings...Levi your more human then you think...and like all humans you have a heart of your own...a heart you can chose to make choices with!” Yugi smiled squeezing Levi's hands tighter

“That means we're bonded through our hearts...”

“Bonded? But we're already bonded...” Levi asked confused still.

“Yes the bond we built together! Even if our time was brief we still connected to each other! Our desires and wants still reach each other even now...that's why I wont make you stop...I know you'll stop on your own.” Yugi smiled at the god holding his hands closer to his chest now.

Levi looked at Yugi; his large innocent eyes sparkled like a star in the night sky, a guiding light for those lost at sea, land or any where.

“I trust you.” Yugi's last words to Yami Yugi...the same words he now spoke to the god of darkness.

Levi paused before letting out a laugh, he broke free of Yugi's grasp and placed a hand on his cheek petting him gently.

“Oh that optimism of yours Yugi...I so do adore it...But I've already won~” Levi gestured to the screen

“the humans have giving up. There is no more hope for them.”

--

Deep within the belly of the beast Yami Yugi had called out to every soul within; every soul struggling to keep hope inside, every soul that had already lost their will to continue. He told them how hard it was to conquer the darkness inside; that he learned something form everyone's sacrifices form this fight was that everyone's memories together created a vessel of memories they can always call back to. With that endless vessel inside of them they can always come back no matter how bad things got, no matter how many times one breaks they can always be reborn as long as they still believe in those memories.

They must always remember the people who fought for them and will always fight beside them. And one by one each of those souls passed on a memory of hope, of light for a new and brighter future together, all these lights began to gather into Yami Yugi's duel disk. Along with Joey and Kaiba's last bit of strength, the duel monsters still outside joined in as well, all a bright light emulated form the duel disk before sinking into the beast fully.

The millennium puzzled started to glow as Yami Yugi could feel everyone emotions, their desires to keep fighting for the light. The glowing eye appeared over Yami Yugi's forehead and he spoke with regal strength.

“After 3000 years! I order in the name of the Pharaoh, I resurrect the three gods! Come forth!”

Three beams of light; red, yellow and blue shot out form Levi's chest, the beast was confused at this.

“What's happening?” He yelled as his back arched harder, he bent over to try and clench himself in the other direction but it was no use from the evil god a beam of white light shot out and form the beam Yami, Kaiba and Joey where freed and set back on the ground as they where before.

Up in the sky in beams of light formed the three Egyptian Gods; Obelisk, Slyfer and Ra. Leviathan was shocked and couldn't believe it.

-- “That's impossible! I stole their power! How could they have been resurrected?!” Levi shouted both in his perfect form and back in the mindscape with Yugi who smiled watching the god's appear once again.

“I knew it the other me did find away!” Yugi cheered, but it only made Leviathan's anger rise. --

“This isn't over you fools!” Leviathan roared before lifting himself up and into the clouds, the three gods in hot pursuit following the evil god.

“This ends now!” Yami Yugi growled as his puzzle glowed once again, he took to his spiritual form and became a ball of golden light shooting up into the sky like a rocket.

Joey only had seconds to catch Yugi's limp and lifeless body. He held Yugi in his arms giving him a little shake before realizing there was no soul to inhabit the body at this time.

“Yugi...Come back to us buddy...” Joey spoke softly as he watched the clouds change colours in the sky.

The final battle was unfolding above as the gods and Yami Yugi broke through the overcast layer of clouds to meet Leviathan at the top. The three god cards while enormous in their own right where merely play things compared to Leviathan's perfect form. He chuckled as he watched the gods and the speck that was Yami Yugi face off against him.

“Even with the gods on your side you can't beat me Pharaoh! Yugi and I will build a new world! Once I've eaten this one! You can't stop us!” Leviathan roared the sheer force of his voice causing the gods to be pushed back by the power behind it.

Each of the gods retaliated in their own way; Obelisk punching into the beast hide making Levi coil around the blue god to squeeze him, Both Ra and Slyfer attacked with their own beams of power making an explosion that forced Levi to let Obelisk go. Down below all those beneath the cloud cover could hear and see coloured beams of light filling the sky, a sign the gods where at war.

Yami Yugi stood by the three gods glaring up at Leviathan who returned the same look at the Pharaoh.

“You pests are starting to get on my nerves! I'll finish you all off with this final blow!”

Levi changed up a powerful energy beam form his mouth and shot it directly towards Yami and three gods.

Yami Yugi yelled for each of his three gods to attack the beast simultaneously with their strongest attacks: God Hand Crusher, Thunder Force, and God Blaze Canon. The beams of energy clashed in the centre filling the sky with brilliant white light casting down upon everyone below, but it looked like Leviathan's power beam was going to over come their combined strength.

--

Levi was laughing as he watched the war continue on all the screens around them, Yugi's eyes where focused on the Pharaoh; he held his hands over his heart and closed his eyes.

“I still believe in you...both of you...” Yugi spoke gently his soft and humble words floated into Levi's ears, his eyes widened as he turned around and saw a single tear falls form Yugi's face. Levi's eyes widened as he reached for him.

At the same time Yami Yugi heard Yugi's voice as well and used it for his final push. “Leviathan! We will not succumb to the darkness in our hearts!” With those words the combined power of the three gods finally over took the great beast and he was hit with the full force of power.

Both Levi and Yugi cried out in pain as they felt their body began to break apart; Perfect Leviathan began to fall form the clouds as he did his body started to release the souls trapped within him. His perfect form finally hitting the water and sinking back into the depths of the sea once again.

On Doma's island; Tristan, Tea and Mokuba cheered as they watched all the souls escaping finally free form their eternal nightmare.

Yugi fell to his knees he was in so much pain his entire soul was breaking apart at the seems; he only experienced this once during the final duel against Yami Marik where his soul was slowly being eaten away by the shadows. But this felt worse it was slower but it was more painful then that time, looking up he saw Levi was still trying to reach him.

Yugi crawled over to him as best he could, slumping himself just enough to take the god's hand. Levi looked up and over to Yugi who smiled gently.

“Don't worry Levi...I wont let you die alone...”

Yugi let tears run down his cheeks now, he knew this was it. He couldn't keep his promise to Yami Yugi to help him find his lost memories, he couldn't keep any of his promises...only this one to make sure Levi wouldn't be all alone.

“At least...I can keep this promise....” Yugi closed his eyes finally over come by the pain.

Leviathan squeezed Yugi's hand tightly; he could feel it...everything Yugi had said in his mind...in his heart...once again Yugi was going to sacrifice himself for someone else...the same cycle would repeat again...

“Yugi...” Levi spoke gently before closing his eyes and pulling Yugi's limp body close, he sat up as best he could and cradled the boy's body to him. Tears ran down his face as he gave Yugi one last kiss.

--

Yami Yugi watched as the beast fell past the clouds and down towards the ocean, his heart was melting he could feel Yugi's life was slowly starting to die out. What could he do? How could he save Yugi now that he's killed the beast...

Then he felt it; a glimmer of light small at first but he knew this light very well...a soul he was more then familiar with. He chased the sensation of this light zipping past the many other freed souls that now floated in the sky.

Mai and Valon both looked down to see Joey below them a smile on their face just as Yami Yugi zipped by them with great force.

“Well He's in a hurry...” Valon said jokingly while Mai chuckled a little before adding “He's looking for someone special...”

Both Raphael and Alister reunited with their long dead loved ones and had their souls enter their own souls so as to never to be without them again. Both where surprised too seeing Yami Yugi zip under them both quick as lightening.

Alister looked at Raphael surprised “Did he free...”

Raphael nodded with a soft smile “He did.”

As each soul started to return to where they needed to be Yami was still up and about trying desperately to hold onto the signal the light in his heart was trying to guide him to.

Was he too late? Did he miss him? Where could he-

His attention snapped as he saw a small orb of white light gently float towards him, the closer it got the more it started to take the shape of his partner. Yami Yugi's eyes widened as tears formed in the corners of his eyes he yelled out

“Partner!”

The small form of Yugi slowly started to open his eyes, his vision was still blurry but he could just make out the shape of someone zooming towards him, arms out stretched reaching for him. Yugi blinked a few times to correct his vision and he could see him, his other self come right up to him.

In one quick motion he scooped Yugi up into his arms bridal style and twirled him around, he squeezed his own face into his, and held onto him for dear life.

“Other Me!” Yugi yelled, once again Yugi felt like he was having the air squeezed out of him, he was never going to get to get used to being hugged this much but he'd better get used to it. Yami Yugi had never felt so relieved so happy, so joyous to hold his partner in his arms again. Grant it he couldn't hold Yugi like this before outside of when their in the puzzle but it didn't matter to him! Yugi was safe! He was here! They where together again! And no force on earth would keep them apart again!

“Yugi! Partner...your back! I got you back! And I'll never let you go again!”

Yami Yugi refused to let Yugi go, still spinning him around a bit before pulling away only to look at his face; his perfect, soft and gentle face. Yugi smiled and hugged him back as best he could now, Yugi was more then happy to see the other Yugi now. Being apart was so hard...but now they're back together again.

“Other me...let's go back. Together.”

#yugi #yami yugi #levi #leviathan #joey wheeler #seto kaiba #leviathan rising #waking the dragons #au #yugioh #yugioh dm #fan fic

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

For the ask game!

giving u options cause i can’t choose lol

🥀🌸🌵 for Rex, Echo, or Nevaeh! <333

Hiii girly! Thanks for the ask! Bc ur special u get all the answers :))

🥀: darkest headcanon/theory

Rex: most of my like,,, "Rex's dark stuff" is just general clone headcanons because Rex is sort of Nevaeh's "way in" into the clones. so all my Rex angst is pertaining to my character studies of the clones individuality, humanity, rights, and autonomy. and I vent abt that all the time. But here an angsty thought abt Rex's autonomy: I talked about Anakin not always respecting it, but still, we see Rex gain individuality and humanity and, even though Anakin tends to violate it, Rex does also gain a sense of autonomy. Meaning that his body is his and not someone else's and he knows it. And then order 66 happens :')). and all the autonomy he did gained over the last three years is ripped away in abt 5 seconds :'))

Echo: He was largely awake and conscious for the Techno Unions experimentation and modification on his body

Nevaeh: [saturn u did it, u found a way to make me spoil her back story. I will dm you, if u rlly wanna know]

🌸: favourite headcanon

Rex: he is an amazing CO and suuper confident and sure of himself when in captain mode, but put him in any for of social situation ever and he turns into the biggest fcking dork idiot, just stuttering his way through every sentence bc how the fck do normal people even talk? wth man how???

Echo: pre-Citadel everybody thought that he was the responsible one and Fives was the troublemaker. The reality is that Echo was never dragged along on Fives' schemes, he participated willingly and happily and came up with a good 45% of the pranks pulled on the Captain

Nevaeh: She will not hesitate to deck someone actually. Like she is a very restrained and respectful warrior, and a kind person, though she is straightforward and outspoken too, she's never openly offensive. But ooh, you offended someone she cared about? you put your hands on a family member? you try pulling any sort of shit on someone she loves?? you get roundhouse kicked in the face and then punched in the stomach. She will not hesitate to hold you down until you apologise either. Oh you wanna report it to her CO's? Who do you think taught her this sort of behaviour? (Terrans are actually so much more feral than u think girly)

🌵: fact about them in one of my aus

Rex: this story will mainly be helping Rex finding, and understanding, his humanity and the many facets it can have. its going to be complicated and at times even painful, but in the end he's gonna be better for it.

Echo: now, this story is gonna be a fix-it au, but I still think that Echo's story is IMMENSELY powerful and I don't want to take away from that. At the same time, I also don't want him to suffer as much, so without giving away too much,,, he'll still blow up, but the aftermath will be different

Nevaeh: Not necessarily a fact, but I just loved building her culture and lore. I even started developing a language for them and it's honestly been such a fun time?? so here a couple key points on 'Vae's culture :)

There are 6 Tribes of Terra

1. Tikaani Tribe (Wolf)

2. Maahes Tribe (Lion)

3. Namiri Tribe (Panther)

4. Kada Tribe (Crocodile)

5. Nahash Tribe (Serpent)

6. Catus Tribe (Gorilla)

Nevaeh is Tikaani. Tikaani originated on the Terrans original planet, and is therefore considered higher status than the others. The other 5 Tribes live on different planet's that have been colonised by the Terrans (any native species to these planets has been fully eliminated (bc we don't do Mary sue over here (yes, I agree that colonialism is terrible and no, I do not support it)))

Warriors get a lot of respect on Terra, since they offer their lives to protect their people (which is why the clones' treatment has most Terrans like '???')

The next Tribe leader is one of the current Tribe Leaders children, but it's not about age or gender. The next leader is elected by the members of the Council of Six (Tribe Leaders), which is why most children of Tribe Leaders grow up in competition with their siblings.

I've been traveling all day, but this was sooo fun girly!!! thanks for the ask :))

#if some of this didn't make sense im sorry and just let me know I'll fix it. just brain fried bc travel ahhhh #captain rex #arc trooper echo #tbb echo #nevaeh requa #star wars #the clone wars #clones #swtcw #clone wars #ask game

[seesgood]

can we very gently talk about call out posts / culture really quick?  not in a judgmental way, but in like a: i just want to pose a thought and explain why i’m never going to buy into it and why i wish it would become less of a trend instead of more of one? and i’ll add the  disclaimer  here: i totally get not wanting certain people around you for various reasons, that is all your prerogative. that’s your comfort level. but in emphasizing “your blog should be a safe space” we’re kind’ve losing sight of the fact that the rpc should also be a safe space, and as much as your comfort and safety matter, so do other people’s. and not just the person who hurt you, but the third parties and other mutuals and 99.9% of people who are not at all involved in any way in whatever happened. so, anyway here goes, read it or don’t, we all have different opinions or reasons, i just want to be heard:

people are allowed to change.  think back to who you were last year. two years ago. think about the stuff you said when you were seventeen, or twenty-one, or hell whatever age you were. current-you would probably cringe at the kind of stuff past-you had to say. because you grew. you learned. you had life experiences. in hindsight you have the freedom to be like “oof yeah that was not the best version of myself right there damn i don’t want to be like that again.” the growing trend of ‘here’s a 10+ page google doc complete with out of context screenshots that sometimes date back to like 2017 or earlier’ makes this kind of change impossible. because right there, you’ve just frozen a person in time, probably not at their best, removed any and all amounts of context, and put it on the internet and let other people judge it for themselves. 

so that leads into another point that i want to just kinda present to the community at large: the act of documenting behaviors and storing them for months / years at a time, in itself creates a super unsafe environment, not just for you, your friends, the people who have hurt you --- but also for anyone else that isn’t at all involved in whatever happened. like, for example, i like to think that i’m a pretty nice person. i actively try to be a nice person. am i sometimes not having the best day? have people definitely caught me in bad moments? oh hell yeah. but am i, as someone who tries really hard to be nice and welcoming, constantly thinking through every message i send to someone knowing that a) i could have a reputation that makes them read into context that isn’t there and that could contribute to them misinterpreting words i meant in a different way, b) very aware that every post i make, ask i send, message i send can at any moment be screenshotted and posted and taken out of context and either serve as someone’s only opinion of me or pile on to someone’s existing opinion of me? yeah. so in my experience, and based on people i’ve talked to, we now have this thing where you can be surface-friends wtih a lot of people, but if you want to survive in the tumblr rpc you should really only have 2-3 people that you really trust that you can actually talk about shit with. 

and lately i’ve been seeing a resurgence of posts on my dash about like “bring back xyz in the rpc” or “the reason the rpc is like this is because of xyz” and i both agree and disagree with a lot of this, but primarily i think the reason the rpc is Off lately is because everyone and their cousin has a DNI, which is --- again --- your decision and i understand and respect that, but while you know the context of every name on that DNI, other people don’t. and to be honest: other people don’t really care and honestly maybe they shouldn’t care. --- and don’t get me wrong, your friends should care if someone has hurt you. that’s important. but joe billy bob who just wants to write their character with yours is going to read through your rules, they’re going to see “do not interact with me if you follow with or interact with these people you’ve never heard of and if you want me to tell you why just message me” (which no one is ever going to do, i’m sorry to say). and say, joe billy bob also followed that other person because they were like ‘omg this blog looks cool’ --- now joe billy bob, who just wants to write cool plots, is suddenly the middle-man in some type of drama that they do not understand, and maybe they’re able to remove themselves from the situation, but even then it’s still in the back of your mind. 

this is getting long. it’ll be longer, but let’s take a brief break for me to remind you that in some cases, it’s definitely good to give your mutuals and friends a heads up when someone has done something really, really bad. like, remember x amount of years ago when some dude was like ‘i’m gonna make up a new person and say they died by suicide as a social experiment’ or ‘hey this person actively tries to force very triggering plots about abuse / rape / incest onto people and has been doing so for years and does not seem to change their ways no matter how many people try to educate them’ that’s shit people should probably know about. and it’s also okay ( in my opinion ) for your friends to be able to message you like ‘hey i saw you’re writing with x and i just wanted to let you know i had this experience with them’ if that’s something they feel comfortable doing. and if they are comfortable with you still having the autonomy to make your own decision regarding the person. 

i’ll be honest, for a second: i’ve been part of friendships and groups that have turned really toxic for one reason or another. a handful of times. there are probably people out there that are like “yeah this chick is really fake and manipulative and etc, i was friends with her back in 2019″ which, okay. yeah. i’ve definitely done shit and said shit that was not the most representative of who i want to be and who i want to become, and you probably have to. because we are human beings and we are a product of our social groups and the community around us. and you shouldn’t be chained to a version of you that isn’t you anymore. people change. they grow. you don’t have to like them, but you should respect that sometimes people don’t mesh, and that doesn’t mean any of them are bad people, it just means the experience was bad. 

a few additional notes i would like to make but i’ve already gone on way too long:

90% of the callout posts that i’ve seen and the DNI’s that i’ve seen can, in my opinion, be classified as a friend group thing. you were friends with x, x did something, now y and z aren’t friends with x anymore. pain is a very, very real thing and people hurting you should never be minimized, but at some point i just want you to remember that not every friendship is going to end happily, but both you and the other party should be allowed to move on and grow better, healthier friendships after. rehashing Friend Group Gone Wrong instances removes that ability for not only person x, but also person y and z.

you putting out a callout says just as much ( maybe more ) about you than it does about the other person. which sucks. because i’d like to think we all have great intentions, and i’m not saying that you should swallow your pain, but it might not be the kind of thing that impacts the community at large, and maybe you should try to find a better way of working through it with a trusted friend(s)

i’m going to be very real and very blunt on this one: literally no one cares. i say that with love. i’m good friends with people who have each other on their DNI’s. establish a baseline of respect and ‘i’m not going to say anything to them about you and vice versa because there’s no need for me to do so’ and move on. but seriously. no one cares. most outside people read callout posts because they like being in the know about the drama, not because they actually care. 

person a and person b who are mentioned in the DNI / callout aren’t the only ones who are going to be affected. your friends, your mutuals, your writing partners are now all put in a weird spot where you have to pick sides on an issue you know nothing about and shouldn’t have to know anything about. you’re asking people to choose sides on an issue they cannot fully understand, and that’s not fair to them or to you. and it drives great people away. and then we all lose out on having more awesome people in the rpc.

you’re entitled to your safe space, but this is a public platform and you are also responsible for maintaining your safe space. you shouldn’t put it entirely on other people to do that for you. you can block, blacklist, make up funny names for, or spitefully erase from your many anything and anyone that you wish. but you shouldn’t make your friends do it for you.

there’s always an inherent power imbalance when any kind of drama occurs between those who have more followers / friends / connections and those who do not. and the smaller blog is always going to suffer a little bit more because they don’t have people blindly coming to their defense. 

bad moments, bad experiences, bad decisions DO NOT equal bad people. 

allow people to make up their own mind about something or someone

anywho, if you read through this whole thing i think i owe you financial compensation. but also thank you for reading / listening / considering. even if you rolled your eyes through the whole thing like “stfu lia” that’s fine. i’m just presenting an alternative thought. i’d like to once again state: i’m not judging you if you’ve made a callout/DNI or if you’re on a callout/DNI. like i literally don’t care. and frankly, in my opinion, i shouldn’t have to. because i, and you, and your friends, and your mutuals, and your non-mutuals should be allowed the space to make up their own opinion and mind on something or someone without being told that there will be consequences if they don’t agree with you. set boundaries. communicate in healthy ways. you don’t have to forgive the people who have hurt or wronged you, but you also don’t get to decide that their actions make up 100% of who they are as a person, or decide that that is the only side of that person people should get to see. 

#ʟᴇᴛ’s ᴛᴀʟᴋ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ʀᴜʟᴇs ⸺ psa. #/ long post cw. #when i say long i mean LONG #i could do an entire dissertation on this #i could do a ted talk #but ys know #if anyone wanted to do some ahem non-light reading this morning #*jazz hands* #( if you want to reblog this monstrosity you definitely can )

[vidalinav]

The one thing I hate about SJM’s POVs in ACOTAR

is that the narrator always seems to be completely biased to their own perspectives in a way that they seem to not understand at all what another character might be going through. Which is just UNREALISTIC. 

Let me point out all the ways and explain: 

None of the IC know that Mor seems to be uncomfortable with Azriel’s unrequited love and that she’s gay, though she frequents a gay bar/restaurant and she’s never shown any feelings towards Azriel and she even actively tries to sleep with other people when he seems to act more on his feelings or show them more fully. Like okay??

In Cassian’s POV, he says that he didn’t know Nesta was aware of how much self-hatred she had and that she didn’t want to exist. Like dude, she spent a year drinking her life away, distancing herself from everyone, and sleeping with randos when she previously had spent most of her adult life not sleeping with anyone and Cassian knew that she was a victim of s*xual a*sa*lt. 

Rhysand who he himself has gone through what Nesta has gone through, didn’t know the extent of Nesta’s trauma??? And even after didn’t really care all that much?? To the point where he was constantly an ass and he threatened to kill her when she told Feyre she might die, even though he should have told her because well feminist rhys over here “you always have choices” didn’t give one to his equal. 

Amren after constantly saying “reach out your hand” didn’t reach out her hand, nor show any empathy to Nesta, going as far as being more aggressive to this person who is literally suffering from PTSD and severe depression, and then sort of blaming her for letting it get that far, and then when Nesta apologized said this well to do speech about living with darkness inside of us but choosing hope, like it was that easy and as if she helped at all or even deserved that apology. 

Mor, wasn’t that bad, comparatively to the rest, because she was barely in the book, but when she was you’re telling me that this girl also doesn’t understand what Nesta could be going through??? That she says that she belongs in the Court of Nightmares, for what reason??? For hurting her friends, which they admit they didn’t help all too much for a whole year because they thought giving her time would have been fine and who also show that they care about Nesta. Because I hate to tell y’all this, but offering to decorate a room is not helping out a person with severe depression. And this is a girl who was raised in the same environment as Mor, who suffered many of the same afflictions of unhappy childhoods and loss of autonomy. Mor who is used to helping women and  s*xual a*sa*lt survivors and then doesn’t see that in Nesta???? 

Rhysand doesn’t seem to understand Azriel’s POV, and then he’s like well he never tells us anything. He’s a tough nut to crack. We know he’s a little bit... ehh how you say--messed up, but well we don’t see a major problem as long as he gets his rage out being our spymaster. But oh no, Elain, you can’t have her. You think you deserve her, even though critical thinking skills might have found him thinking oh hey this guy is probably envious of the happiness we have, he’s probably feeling lonely, rejected from the person he’s loved a long time, both of his brothers have mates now, maybe I should talk to him like a BROTHER and less like a high lord. 

And then in Nesta’s POV, all of her healing comes at the expense of blaming herself. Like I understand taking accountability and she needed to grow and learn that she has definitely ruined a lot of her relationships and she’ll continue to do so if she keeps up this behavior, but you’re telling me that she doesn’t think anyone did her wrong??? You’re telling me that she feels she deserves all of this?? Even after she starts liking who she is, everyone was not at fault, it was only her fault??? Even after Cassian said what he said--being stuck with her??? 

You’re telling me that everyone thinks Elain is fine??? That she’s relatively at peace because she’s calm and gardening and pleasant??? Makes me laugh. 

Like I just don’t understand. It’s to the point where I feel they characters are willfully ignorant OR that SJM thinks that POVs can’t read emotion in other people or connect dots. All POVs are biased, but NOT that biased. A real person talking to someone else will notice how tired a person looks, if they want to talk or not, by the grimaces, by the way they shorten their sentences, their body language, you can reach conclusions based on context. “It’s been a long day at work, I learned that this person has a new baby, this conversation looks to be weighing on them, I should probably cut this convo short, because I feel for them.” That sort of thing. Which is my biggest problem with this series is that I’m like fuck me, why Whhy WHYYY??? They don’t seem to even see each other, let alone understand each other, and if they can’t understand each other or know who they are, they are not considered family!!! The characters in this series make choices like they are blind to the people around them. That they exist only in their own head. Which again is not realistic, but also causes a lot of problems that I don’t feel would be fixable if you were not aware that they were problems. Like I can easily say, “hey maybe SJM did this on purpose because she’s leading up to something, to heal them in some way.” But all characters are like this--so it’s make me wonder if SJM knows that she’s doing it. Like we thought Feyre was a horribly biased character, but damn. Like I understand this imperfect character arc, but at this point are they imperfect or stupid? 

Don’t get me wrong I love this series, but wow... it’s been three years for this next part, she’s written a thousand and one books, it should be better. Every single one of us has pointed out inconsistencies, and they’re not just small things, they’re big overarching writer mechanics and structure and plot and details. So I can hope that eventually it will lead to something, but after four books... I’m losing hope that the issues we’ve pointed out and not just this one are going to be resolved and not just glossed over like they didn’t happen at all. 

It’s an adult book, my word. Make narratives more narratively complicated. (Especially if the plot is not the focus)

#acosf #nessian #anti sjm #i hate that but i'll use it i guess #nesta archeron #rhysand #feyre archeron #azriel #elain archeron #mor #amren #inner circle #acosf spoilers #acotar

[oswinsdolma]

Yes, it's nearly 2.00am (because that's apparently the only time I have inspiration to write essays) but I've been thinking a lot about this lately and wanted to get it off my chest, so here you go:

The main goal of Merlin becomes disturbingly fractured along the way, which opens up the gaps for the prophecy to seep through instead of following the expected channels, but it can essentially be boiled down to three key elements 1) build albion; 2) decriminalise magic and 3) save Arthur, but when all is said and done, we never really see any of those objectives achieved.

Now, there are a few reasons for this, both from a writing perspective and a plot perspective. The first, and one of the most obvious, is that this show loves irony. I won't go into a lot of detail here because I've already written a whole ass essay in this very subject, but in a nutshell, you can look at this from two perspectives: firstly, it's important to establish that this technique is purely about the angst: it's the writers' way of provoking a reaction from an anguished audience, but it's foreshadowed just enough to make it more painful than it is shocking. Alternatively, there is the more plot motivated irony in that it genuinely makes a good story. Irony is a technique that has been used for thousands of years, not just because it provokes a reaction from the audience, but because it allows you to explore your characters in greater detail than before, riddling them with hidden juxtapositions and internal conflicts that are never resolved quite in the way you expect. The irony in Merlin is the epitome of this, with the whole motif of Arthur needing to die for his reign to begin. It is a classic example of the simultaneous despair and hope that mocks you from the shadows.

Following this, there is another force at play that deals with half truths and seemingly imperfect contradictions, and that's prophecy. It's not really a secret that I have very strong feelings about prophecy and its effects on all the characters, Merlin in particular, and the fact that fate and destiny are such key themes in Merlin both makes perfect sense and wants me to smash my head into a brick wall. Prophecies are another common trope that often go hand in hand with irony (think Oedipus Rex, Macbeth, The Iliad, all that doomed hero shit that I inexplicably adore), the key to their influence over the plot often lying in how they usually come true in the most unexpected of ways. This links back to that initial theme of irony, but this isn't what makes me angry: what is infuriating is that prophecies tend to come true, no matter what, and most of the characters seem not only to know this, but to let it take their autonomy over their respective fates, driving them to disaster.

Let me elaborate: especially in season five (I'm assuming just for the added fall at the end), Merlin talks a lot about how "one day, things will be different". He tells sorcerers that one day they won't have to hide. That one day, they won't have to live in fear of who they are and what others think of them. And Merlin is right: while it is not explicitly stated, it's generally established that this is one of the things Merlin should actively be working towards. But here's the kick: except for a few specific circumstances, when has Merlin ever actively tried to change Arthur's mind about magic? Yes, he has taken a few opportunities, like with Dragoon saving Uther's life, or with the Dolma's final request, where he has encouraged Arthur to rethink his choices, but otherwise, his support has been lukewarm at best. Instead, his primary concern was always saving Arthur, so he can become the king the magical world hoped he'd be, but he left out a crucial part, trusting in the prophecy to fill in the gaps. He knew it would come true, but it was, almost predictably, in the one way he never dared to expect.

And in a twisted way, there's that thread of irony again: Merlin thought he was saving Arthur so he could one day become the king who would see magic as a force for good, but instead, he created someone who was merely a survivor. It was Kilgharrah who said it first, and he who would mention it last: they are two sides of the same coin. But as willing as Merlin was to give his life for Arthur, and vice versa, he was never really ready to give him his mind.

Another interesting thing to note is Merlin's fixation on the "Saving Arthur" lens of the prophecy over the "Restoring Magic" part. Now, there are a ton of ways you can look at this, depending on how far along the scale of Queer Analysis you are, so I'm going to try and address a couple. At one end of the scale, you have the fairly simple and very believable "merthur" take. This basically boils down to the fact that Merlin and Arthur may or may not be deeply in love with one another, and that drowns out any voice of reason that may unfold. This is actually fairly canon compliant, particularly looking at incidents such as the Disir, when Merlin chooses Arthur over his and his people's freedom, though that choice was clearly, in hindsight, misadvised.

At the other end of the spectrum, there is the idea that it is the work of Kilgharrah, Gaius and other responsible figures in Merlin's life when he was new to his role in destiny, who reiterated at every occasion that Arthur must be protected at all costs. This may have ingrained into Merlin's thoughts and influenced his decisions from here on out.

Between those two points, there is a grey area, and I am of the personal opinion that neither extreme entirely satisfies the situation. For me, I think the characters in question are far too complex to have such simple motivations, and that the true reason lies somewhere between the two: Merlin undoubtedly cares for Arthur, and while at the start, his actions in protacting Arthur may have been driven by other (largely superficial) motives, over time, their mutual affection blossomed to the point where certainly the more personal quests were motivated not by need, but by love. However, there is a divide here, and while the line in the sand smudges from time to time, it never really disappears: a lot of instances in which Merlin is trying to help Arthur are entirely overshadowed by destiny, and in time, Merlin comes to accept that Arthur and Destiny are, in fact, one and the same, and this is where that ever-present tragedy lies. For all he truth in here, Merlin doesn't get everything quite right: he sees Arthur as a balance that needs to be protected, without fully realising that he doesn't just have to keep the sides of his equation in equilibrium, but he actually has to start solving them if he wants them to endure.

Having just said all that, sometimes I decide to fuck over complexity for a few hours purely because I am a shameless merthur hoe.

Also, can you take a moment to please note that this last section is highly subjective and it is completely up to you as to what you decide!! This is just my opinion and you're welcome to agree or disagree at any point.

So, aside from the Angst Factor™ and twisted character development, why was the main goal never fulfilled? Unfortunately, that is a question far cleverer people than me can only speculate, as the writers alone know the answers, but I'm going to give my opinion a shot. Honestly, there is something beautifullly poetic about something that never ends, or ends when there could be something more. Humanity has struggled with endings-and beginnings- since it learned truly how to think, because that kind of finality, that inkling that there might have been nothing before and after something else is incomprehensible. In leaving Merlin in a place where the next point was uncertain, the writers left the story open for us. In depriving us of that catharsis, they effectively made sure that the story would never be over, not until we want it to be. And yes, it was painful. I can't think of an ending that was more heartbreaking than that curious mixture of closures and openings all at the same time (hell, I could write a whole essay based on this concept alone!), but it was also a gift, ironically like that of the prophecy itself in that we can choose what we want to do with it, safe in the knowledge that there will be a happy ending again, one day.

In summary, we might not be left with catharsis in the way we wanted. We might not have got the happy ending that could also have stretched on and on indefinitely. But we were left with something else, something equally beautiful as closure, but in the complete opposite way. Amongst the remains of allwe had hoped to build, Merlin left us hope.

#sorry for the inevitable ineloquence here i am absolutely knackered #bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #i'm going to regret this in the morning

[mosswillow]

Useless - Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader (part one)

Warnings: 18+ Adult content!, Werewolves, A/B/O, Possessive behavior, Dark, Non con/dub con, Forced marriage, power imbalance, general misogyny, Punishments, smut, violence .

Summary: “Trying to fight this is useless doll, we’ll always end up right back here.” You’re the bottom of the pack, an Omega, and Steve has chosen you for his mate.

A/N: This will probably be two or three parts. Likes, reblogging, comments are always welcome.  

Word count: 3.2k

Present

The forest is cold and dark. Snow drifts down, soaking your coat and chilling you to the bone but you barely notice. All you can think about is getting away. You’ve been running for so long and need a break. You look back, slowing to a brisk walk when you don’t see anything. You can’t stop moving, not until you’re at the edge of your pack's territory, not until you’re safe.

They weren’t expecting you to do it. It’s always been an option but you’ve never actually known anyone who has run. Wolves need and like pack structures, leaving doesn’t even cross most of their minds. You know a few who have mated into other packs but running is unheard of. You’re different though. You've never felt content with the structure or hierarchy. The way you’ve grown up has left you with contempt for pack life. Even still, you would have stayed despite it if it wasn’t for Steve. You don’t want to run from your friends and family, don’t want to leave the life you’ve known since birth. The decision to run was hard but you had to make it.

2 months ago.

“Y/N We need to talk to you,” Your mom tells you over the phone.

“What is it? What happened?”

“Just come over tonight for dinner ok?”

You hang up your phone worried and confused. You see your parents almost every day and already plan on having dinner with them tomorrow. Your mom didn’t sound upset, in fact she seemed excited, but you have the sinking feeling that something is very wrong.

You arrive at your parents house at six, walking in and hanging up your jacket. You always feel calm in your childhood home. It’s familiar and warm. You had the option to stay, most Omegas do, but you wanted to have a place of your own. As soon as you came of age you packed up and moved into your own home on the compound. Getting a little space, as small as it is, has helped you be content with your life.

There’s a nice smell coming from the kitchen and you kick your shoes off and make your way through the house.

“Mom, Dad, I’m here.”

You walk into the kitchen and see him there with them. Steve Rogers.

“Oh, hi Steve. I didn’t know you would be here too.” Your stomach drops.

“Why don’t we sit down.” Your mom says cheerfully.

You sit across from Steve and start eating. It’s a complicated meal that you know took some time to make. You know why this is happening, why Steve is here and why your parents put in extra effort into this dinner. You act like you don’t know though. Maybe if you act dumb he won’t say what you know he’s about to say.

“Steve has some good news.” you father says, looking at you wearily.

“Oh?”

“I made second Alpha.” Steve says.

“Congratulations,” you deadpan. Your tone doesn’t go unnoticed and your parents both shift uncomfortably in their seats.

“Now that it’s official I can finally find a mate.”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone great.”

Everyone stares at you but you act oblivious.

“Y/N It’s you. I pick you.”

You set your fork down, finally dropping the act.You’ve always known Steve has a thing for you. You’ve heard through Alpha friends that Steve has asked more than one Alpha to stay away from you. You’ve made it clear that you aren’t interested in him but it obviously hasn’t dissuaded him. It’s not that you’re not attracted to him or think he’s a bad guy, you just don’t feel ready for any sort of relationship yet. You know that for an Omega getting mated means giving up your autonomy. Alphas don’t take things slowly once they start relationships so you’ve been careful around them not to start anything. Maybe you’ll want to be mated and have pups one day but not yet.

“No thank you.”

“Y/N! I’m sorry Alpha, we thought she was over this.” Your father says.

Steve sets his fork down and leans back in his chair.

“I’m not asking, I'm telling. As a pack leader it’s my right to choose a mate. It’s always been you.”

He’s right, His new standing gives him the right to choose a mate. He can pick you if he wants and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do about it.

“When?”

“Three months.”

You stand and walk away pulling your shoes on quickly and slamming the front door on your way out. Your parents yell and Steve follows behind you, grabbing your forgotten jacket.

“Y/N stop!”

You whip around and glare at him.

“Find a different wolf to mate Steve.”

“No, you’re the one I want.” he crosses his arms and glares right back at you.

“You’re really going to force me to be your mate? You don’t see how fucked up this is?”

“This shouldn’t be a surprise doll, I’ve always made my intentions with you clear.”

“And I’ve made it clear that I’m not interested.”

He lifts his hand to your face wiping away a tear you hadn’t realized you'd shed.

“I don’t get it, why me? You could be with any wolf you want. You could find an Alpha or Beta and be in a power couple or If you wanted someone to do the whole Alpha Omega dynamic thing there are plenty willing Omegas out there.”

Steve bites his bottom lip and grabs you, forcing you into a hug.

“When we were in highschool before I hit my growth spurt and presented as an Alpha everyone thought I would be an Omega, do you remember that?”

“Yes.”

You don’t like thinking about that time in your life. Everyone thought you were going to be an Alpha, including you. You were a confident pup, raised to be a leader. Everything changed when you presented as an Omega and not for the better.

“You were the only one that didn’t bully me back then.”

You pull out of his arms.

“Wait, I was nice to you in highschool so you’re returning the favor by forcing me into a mating bond? What the fuck Steve.”

“It’s not about you, it’s about me. I’ve worked hard for my position in the pack and you’re my reward.”

“I’m not a reward, I'm a person.”

“You’re an Omega.”

“Stay away from me,” you yell. In a moment of pure anger you try, dramatically, to push him over but end up panting against his unmoving body.

You start to shake slightly and Steve holds your jacket open for you.

“Put it on, you’re cold.”

You are cold, but you’re also angry and stubborn. You stare at Steve and clench your jaw. He immediately reacts to the challenge, his body towering over you in a show of dominance. You try to fight against your instincts but they tell you to stand down. He’s your Alpha, even if you weren’t an Omega you would still feel the push to submit to a stronger wolf. You start to waver and finally lower your head. Steve holds the jacket out for you again and this time you put your arms through and zip it up. Steve puts his hand under your chin, gently lifting it until you’re staring at him.

“Trying to fight this is useless doll, we’ll always end up right back here.”

Your body relaxes in defeat and you don’t struggle as Steve puts his arm around you and walks you back to your home. He gives you a kiss on the cheek and waits until you’re inside with the door locked to leave.

Present.

Everyone has the right to run, even Omegas. One chance to make it outside the pack's territory. The rules are that you have to start in the compound, leave after midnight and make it out before sunrise. You can’t use a car or get help from anyone. If you aren’t caught they have to let you go. You will be considered a rogue wolf. You’ll have to find another pack or live like the humans. That’s if you make it out. If you’re caught you will either bare your neck and take any punishment that your Alpha deems necessary or fight one of the pack Alphas, which you know would end up being Steve.

You start running again. You focus on reaching the quickly approaching edge of your pack's territory, ignoring the fact that you can no longer feel your paws due to the snow covered ground. Every step gives you hope. You didn’t tell a soul you were even thinking about leaving but that doesn’t mean nobody noticed. You know Steve has wolves watching you and that’s in addition to the wolves that patrol the woods.

You stop in your tracks when you hear a branch snap. You know they’re here before seeing the group of wolves appear in front of you. They slowly stalk towards you working together to push you away from the border line. You growl and run as fast as you can, trying to get around them. You can see the finish line, you’re so close. You’re tired though and they surround you easily, leaving no way to escape.

1.5 months ago.

You order a drink from the bartender and take a sip. The liquid burns down your throat and your mind feels a little more fuzzy. You come here often with friends. It’s one of the few businesses in town that are completely hidden from the human world, disguised behind a washateria. Wolves from neighboring packs gather here as well as the occasional rogue wolf. It’s generally a good time and tonight is no different.

“He’s here. I told you he’d come.” Wanda says nervously.

You look over to see Steve. His eyes are on you and he’s not even trying to mask his anger a little. Everyone in the bar knows why he’s here, you’re sure at least a few wolves texted him. Even the wolves from other packs shy away from Steve as he takes long strides towards you.

“You’re going to be in so much trouble Y/N.” Natasha says, shaking her head.

“What can I say, I love pissing him off.” you down the rest of your drink, knowing that you probably won't get to stay here much longer.

Steve smiles as he reaches you.

“Y/N.”

You hold your middle finger up toward him and every wolf in the bar goes silent at the display of disrespect. Anyone in the pack would be punished for an action like that and you know exactly what will happen next but don’t care.

Steve acts quickly grabbing the back of your neck and pushing you against the bar.

“Want to try that again?”

He lets you go and motions with his head to the floor. You kneel and look down.

“I’m sorry for my disrespect Alpha.” you say.

Steve crouches in front of you.

“Who is your superior, Omega?”

“You are Alpha.”

“And who do you belong to?”

“You.”

“Stay.”

Steve leaves you kneeling on the floor and orders a drink. He ignores you for a full twenty minutes before reaching down and pulling you up.

“I think you should be getting home now, I’ll drive you.”

You look at your shocked friends and flash a smile before following Steve out of the bar.

Steve takes your hand and pulls you to the alleyway, pushing you against the wall.

“You want to explain yourself?”

“I already apologised.”

Steve pulls his phone out and shows you a video of yourself at the bar twerking while wolves from neighboring packs watch. One walks up to you and flirts and you touch his arm flirting back. You’ve never really been one to show off like that but you’ll do anything if you know it will make Steve angry. You giggle at the sight and Steve growls.

“This looks bad on me, like I can’t control my Omega.”

“You’re welcome to choose a more obedient Omega, one you can control easier.”

“Ah, I see what you’re doing, it’s clever.”

Steve swipes his thumb over your lips.

“You think you can play games with me…”

He pushes his thumb into your mouth slowly.

“but you forget…”

Steve pulls his hand back and places it over your throat.

“Alphas are really good at games...”

He leans in and nibbles on your ear.

“And we always win,” he whispers

Steve lets you go and steps back, holding out his hand for you to take.

“Come.”

Present

Steve shifts into his human form and takes a few steps toward you.

“It’s over Y/N.”

You growl at him and move into a protective stance.

“I know it’s your right but I don’t want to fight you, if you just submit we can end this little rebellion now and go home.”

You stand your ground unwilling to go down without a fight. You know that the fight will leave you more physically hurt than if you submitted and took the punishment but you have to try. If you beat Steve they’ll let you go. You can’t live your life wondering what would have happened even if the chances of you winning are slim. Maybe he’ll get hit by lightning, you never know.

Steve sighs. “I guess we’re doing this.”

One month ago

You fill a cup of coffee and hand it to a customer. You’ve been working at a coffee shop in town since you were a teen and love it. You wipe down the espresso machine and check your watch. Only a few minutes until your shift ends. You hear the jingle of bells that mean a new customer is here and your heart drops as Steve walks in. He walks to the counter and smiles at you.

“Can I get a mocha?”

You roll your eyes and make him his coffee. Steve's face hardens at your attitude and you smirk knowing he can’t do anything here, in a shop where humans visit. You hand him his drink and head to the back to clock out.

“What do you want?” you ask as you walk out of work and to your car.

Steve walks ahead of you and leans against the drivers side door. He raises an eyebrow.

“You’re on thin ice Y/N and not just with me. You’re very close to having town privileges taken away.”

“Why?”

“Why do you think?”

“If I was an Alpha nobody would care about my - ” you pause “ - rebellious spirit.”

Steve sets his coffee on top of your car and grabs your wrists in one hand and holds them against himself.

“If you can pull even one hand out of my grip I won’t force you to mate me.”

You know what he’s doing but you pull against him anyways trying to get your arms free. it’s no use. He doesn’t even seem like he’s trying and you give up after only a few minutes. He finally lets your arms go and flips you so your back is against the car. He puts his arms on either side of you and leans in slightly.

“The hierarchy is here for a reason, the sooner you accept it the sooner you can be happy.”

You reach up and grab his hot coffee from behind you throwing it in his face. You immediately regret the decision as he slams his body against you. He grabs your arm so hard you cry out in pain. A car full of  humans parks next to you and Steve let's go.

“Hey, Are you ok ma'am?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” You smile.

When they leave Steve opens your car door and pushes you in.

“Go home.”

You

Present

Steve shifts back to his wolf and sits down several feet away from you. You lunge for him, getting a bite in and he throws you off. You hit a nearby tree and lie on the ground for a minute before standing and lunging again. He bites you and slams you down and again you stand swaying a bit. You keep going over and over attacking and being thrown against the ground or trees. The Alpha and Beta wolves that have been watching start whimpering at the sight. Several shift into humans to beg you to stop. Steve paces between rounds and you can tell he’s extremely upset with the whole ordeal. Eventually you’re so bruised and battered you have no choice but to bare your neck and submit.

Three weeks ago

You run around your home getting ready for tonight. You’re usually excited for parties. You like when the whole pack gets together. That was before though. You haven't seen Steve since the incident at work and the lack of communication makes you nervous.

You take a deep breath before opening your door. Steve is waiting for you on your porch and looks you up and down before pushing you inside.

“What?”

“Sit.”

You roll your eyes and sit on the couch crossing your arms and Steve stands in front of you.

“Your behavior has gotten out of control.”

You bite your tongue in an attempt to stop yourself from saying something you’ll regret.

“We’re taking away your town privileges.”

“What about work?”

“I was going to have you quit after we mate anyway.”

You bury your emotions knowing that acting out in any way will just make everything worse.

“Let’s just go,” you finally say.

Steve puts his arms around you as you walk to the party. Nothing you’ve tried has worked to dissuade him from claiming you. The crazy part is that you don’t even hate him. Your heart flutters when he’s near. You disgusted with yourself for loving the attention. If he had waited you probably would have accepted his advances. He forced you though. Everyone thinks you’re being ridiculous and sometimes you agree but you just can’t bring yourself to give up. You know what you have to do now, what your only choice is if you want freedom. You have to run.

Present

You shiver in the snow, barely conscious. Steve wraps a blanket around you and lifts you into his arms.

“What am I going to do with you? My strong little Omega.” His voice cracks. It’s the first time you’ve heard actual emotion in it.

You drift in and out of consciousness as he carries you to a nearby car parked off road. He drives you back to the compound. The entire pack is silently waiting for you. Your mom cries when she sees your body and your dad won’t even look at you. Steve doesn’t carry you to your home like you expect and instead brings you to his. He lies you in his bed and covers you with several warm blankets before leaving you to sleep.

You failed.

Steve was right, you’ll always end up right back here.

PART TWO

#dark #dark!fic #dark steve x reader #dark steve rogers #dark steve x you #alpha!steve #alpha!steve rogers #omega!reader #Werewolf!Steve Rogers

[bookofmirth]

This kind of discussion that the other side of the fandom has about Lucien they also have about Azriel?

Because the arguments they use and talk about what Lucien is doing, Azriel spent 500 years doing with Mor and it was even Azriel who objectified Elain, even Rhys lost the color of his face when he heard his thoughts, but they see it as love.

Hypocrites.

So honestly, I think the thing that is the most telling in this whole entire discussion, is the failure to see that Azriel is being painted in the exact same (problematic) light as Lucien is. By sjm.

I'm going to go into a deep dive on this okay, because I've frankly been surprised that no one has (to me, at least) brought up the idea of Azriel's portrayal in the book being way worse than Lucien's, and so them both being POC, Azriel being more markedly so, should be a similar problem. Talking about either of them being angry or threatening to either Mor or Elain should be the same problem, right? 

Wrong.

This is going to be super long. Under the cut explanation of why the fandom describing Azriel as angry is not at all the same issue as saying that Lucien won’t leave Elain alone, and how while Azriel’s characterization is fucked up on sjm’s part, the fandom’s interpretation of Lucien is fucked up and that’s on the people who insist on reading him a certain way.

ACOWAR, tbh, fucked up Azriel’s characterization. I’m going to call a spade a spade. When he lost his temper at the High Lord meeting and left Mor cowering in fear, everything shifted. Suddenly his attentions weren’t caring, they were creepy. It became way less about his feelings for Mor, and more about his emotional baggage that causes him to have this rage and disregard its impact on the people he loves.

The thing is, all of these arguments about Elain not being able to stand Lucien’s presence, or him pushing himself on her, or whatever extreme interpretation people choose to make, those behaviors are actually explicit with Azriel. I’m only going to use 1-2 quotes as examples of these behaviors, but there are more. We know that:

Azriel has been in love with - obsessed with, has some sort of feelings for - Mor for 500 years. 

Mor does not reciprocate these feelings.

Azriel experiences rage and anger frequently, and towards the people he should be closest to:

“There was an icy rage in Azriel I have never been able to thaw.” (acomaf)

“Az had a vicious competitive streak. It wasn’t boastful and arrogant, the way that Cassian knew he himself was prone to be, or possessive and terrifying like Amren’s. No, it was quiet and cruel, and utterly lethal.” (acosf)

This rage causes Rhys, Mor, and Cassian all to handle Azriel with kid gloves because they know he can explode at any moment:

She had not mentioned it these past few days in Velaris. Had wanted to make this choice on her own, and had understood how the news might cast a shadow over the merriment. 

She knew Azriel would say no, would want her safe. As he had always done. Cassian would have said yes, Amren with him, and Feyre would have worried but agreed. Az would have been pissed, and withdrawn even further into himself.

She hadn’t wanted to take his joy away from him. Any more than she already did. (acowar)

Azriel tries his best to keep Mor from exercising her agency:

“We could try again,” Mor said. “Let me speak to them, let me go to their palace-”

“No,” Azriel said. Mor raised her brows, and a faint color stained Azriel’s tan face. But his features were set, his hazel eyes solid. “You’re not setting foot in that human realm.”

“I fought in the war, you could do well to remember-”

“No,” Azriel said again, refusing to break her stare. His shifting wings rasped against the back of his chair. “They would string you up and make an example out of you.” (acomaf)

And that leads us to situations like these, when his rage and anger do finally get the best of him:

The frozen rage there rooted me to the spot. But beneath it, I could almost see the images that haunted him: the hand Mor had yanked away, her weeping, distraught face as she had screamed at Rhys. And now, behind us, Mor was shaking in her chair. Pale and shaking." (acowar)

“I want to confirm that Briallyn has the Crown,” Azriel said. “I’ll travel to the human lands tomorrow.”

“No,” Feyre and Rhys said at the same time, in the same breath.

Azriel’s eye shuttered. “I wasn’t asking for permission.”

Rhys smirked. “Doesn’t matter.”

Az opened his mouth to object, but Feyre said, “You’re not going, Azriel. If Briallyn has the Crown and catches you, even if she just suspects you’re nearby, who knows what she could do to you?”

“Give me some credit, Feyre,” Az said. “I can keep hidden well enough.”

“We take no risks,” Feyre said, voice flat with command. “Pull all your spies out.”

“Like hell I will.” (acosf)

(later in acosf)

The High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court had faced off against the shadowsinger this afternoon, and emerged triumphant.

Perhaps triumphant wasn’t the right word, but the argument had ended with Azriel grudgingly agreeing not to spy on Briallyn for the time being - and brooding all through dinner.

Okay, so why did I share these examples? Because Azriel’s anger problem is explicit, it is canon, and that anger can and will be aimed at the people he loves. I could have kept going with the examples, but you get the picture.

Now, the portrayal of a man of color as threatening, especially against a white woman, is racist. That’s just a fact. Saying that Lucien is threatening to Elain has the exact same impact as saying that Azriel is threatening to Mor.

So why aren’t people coming at me for making the statement that Azriel displays red flags? (At least not publicly lol.) I suspect it’s because either 1) people don’t understand the full scope of the argument in the first place and so couldn’t recognize it elsewhere, or because they recognize that....

Sarah Janet Maas explicitly created Azriel to be a rage-y, angry man of color who stomps all over Mor’s autonomy and makes her cower in fear, and argues with the people he is supposed to respect just because... why? Well that’s a different issue, really, but the “why” doesn’t actually matter. The impact of his actions does matter. And his portrayal, combined with the very racist descriptions of the Illyrians, creates a problematic af situation. And to repeat, it is SJM who created this situation.

The fandom is the one saying that Lucien is a threatening POC. It is not canon. It is an intentional choice on the part of some readers to read him this way. They don’t have to read him this way, they choose to. They choose to participate in the narrative that men of color are a threat to white women. Intentionally? I doubt it. That’s why I and others have been trying to explain it, though.

Does SJM even realize what she has created in portraying Az as an angry POC, and by making it unclear why Elain is standoffish around Lucien? I doubt it. But that’s a her problem, not an us problem.

I do understand the instinct to read Lucien in that same overbearing, problematic way because we already have the explicit blueprint in Azriel. That’s already a thing in this world. But there is no evidence for Lucien being that way, and when people settle on that one interpretation amongst many other interpretations, then people are valid to critique the one that leans into the racism instead of away.  

We cannot change the way these books were written. We can critique the fuck out of them, and refuse to perpetuate racist, ableist, or homophobic shit.

SJM created this mess, but we don’t have to roll around in it. We can definitely do better.

#acotar fandom #ask #anon

[bonecorn]

I love your anatomy/references posts & I love skulls and skeletons & I would love to know how you convince people to give you their animal heads to clean. Also any bone cleaning tips for suburban areas?? When I was living on a farm it was easy to leave stuff out and let the bugs take care of it but my parents said hard no to dead things bleaching on the porch

Oh this is very easy!

Find a friend or acquaintance with land and leave your stuff there. Bug cleaning and tub maceration don't need a lot of hands-on attendance so you can check in however often you like.

There's also "hot water maceration" where you simmer (dont boil!) fresh heads in hot water and remove the cooked meat by hand. Make sure you scramble the brains first and then cook away inside or with a camping stove on the porch. And "bleaching" which is done with hydrogen peroxide can be done inside since the skulls are already clean by then anyway.

I don't actually convince people to give me their pets. For livestock, I ask because most people aren't emotionally attached to their livestock.

For pets, I wait to be offered the remains. More on that under the cut.

TLDR: Know the pet owner, wait to be offered bodies rather than asking. Make sure they are always in control. Ask for livestock no problem. Don't let scavengers eat euthanized meat.

holy crap lol

I don't ask for pet bodies. The trick is to be very open and excited about what you do so that people who know you know about bones and know that you are respectful of animal remains. Then, when a beloved pet dies, they might think about you.

Open up the conversation on death before it's relevant

You can also plant the seed ahead of time during a conversation about bones while the pet in question is alive and healthy. "Sometimes I do pets if their owner is ok with it, though most want to bury. Have you ever thought about that for Baxter?" It's in SUPER poor taste to do this while an animal is dying, when you'll need to be way more tactful.

Know your friend well enough to guess their feelings on it

It SUPER depends on the person and how they view bodies and death. My ex's dog passed away and he was always queasy about corpses. I comforted him and cried with him while his beloved 15 year old dog declined and passed. I didn't ask or even mention it because I knew him enough to know that he would say no, and that asking would be painful and upsetting for him to think about. Same with my dear friend and her 20 year old cat. She had a beautiful pet graveyard with headstones and everything. You just know not to ask some people because traditionally laying bodies to rest is important to them.

Other pet owners are chill about it, ESPECIALLY if they come from a livestock background. Livestock people are used to sending their animals to be recycled into glue and wax when they die, because it's generally not feasible to bury or cremate a horse. If someone does plan to take that on, you know they are absolutely dedicated to traditional burial and won't give you anything.

Make it their choice to offer, rather than it being your request

Anyway. If you know the person, and you know they might be ok with giving up their pet's body due to how they view bodies and death, then you work on making them think about you. First, you comfort and do everything you can to help the person through their grief. If you weren't already planning on doing that, then you have no business asking for their pet. Do not comfort someone in order to get something out of them. That's disgusting. Just straight up ask them for their pet and know that they will view you as tactless and rude, but its better than manipulating them.

What I do is not manipulation, it's reminding people what you do and then letting them make their own decisions. When your friend is feeling a little better and is not crying, you can ask about logistics. I ask "What do you plan to do for burial/with the body?" and that usually makes them think about me and what I do with bodies. If they already have a meaningful spot picked out to bury or scatter/keep ashes, then that means the body is important to them and I shouldn't ask further.

At this point, they should realize what you could use the body for and think about how they feel about that. This is when my sister (who has a livestock background) offered her dog to me. We talked about how she thought of bodies, and she thought that the soul is the only thing that matters and once her dog passes there's nothing important left. I did not say anything to convince her, these were all her own thoughts.

It's very VERY important to respect and love the pet owner because they're extremely vulnerable and emotionally raw. That's why I don't straight up ask, because when you're losing a pet, you don't want to feel like someone is trying to gain something from you.

If your friend says they don't know or haven't decided what to do for the body, you can gently say "Let me know if you want me to help bury it, to take it with me, or to just be there for you." This is a close-ended statement and not a question. A question means that your friend has to come up with an answer right there and then, while an offer is actionable. This puts the power and autonomy in your friend's hands, so that when they make a decision it comes fully from their wants and needs and is not about you and what you want.

Be there for them even if you get nothing out of it

If they don't offer at this point, they're not going to. Now hold up your end of the bargain and continue to comfort and help through the grieving process. Again, if you aren't already invested in this person enough to want to soothe and comfort and be there for the human person in the equation, then you have no business asking for their pet. When a pet dies, your first concern should be to the person. If it's not, then you aren't close enough to ask for goodies.

Helping someone grieve is not payment for their pet's body. If you realize they aren't going to give you something in return for your comfort and so you abandon them, you're a terrible person using their grief to manipulate them for your own gain. Comfort is not payment. Closeness in grief is a metric by which you measure "Do I have any business to ask?"

The pet owner runs the show, not you

Throughout this process, stress that the owner can change their mind at any time. You don't want the owner to think "I hate this but I can't back out now because I promised..." Even when they animal is all wrapped up an in your vehicle and ready to go, quietly tell the owner that they can still choose what happens and if they have second thoughts, that's ok and you won't be mad.

My sister let me be there for putting her dog down and it was all about her and her love for her dog. She carried him out and laid him in my trunk and we stood in the rain and talked and hugged. She then told me she was happy that he could bring happiness to someone in life and now still in death, but that she didn't want to know anything. I agreed not to tell her or post anything about processing her dog, so for her it would be like burial. The same thing happened with my other friend's horse. She spent some time with him and then as soon as he passed she drove away and let me do what I wanted. She didn't want to hear Any of it. Again, I didn't ask or even offer, she came up with the idea of giving me the body all on her own even before I knew he was dying.

Horse people are much closer to pet owners than livestock owners, but they are used to sending their friend's bodies off to a different kind of processing (at Tallow factories, livestock remains are ground up, cut apart, cooked, and spun around to extract various substances that become soap, glue, candles, etc) so they know not to think about what happens after death. It still depends on how well you know the owner and know how they think about death, but if you offer to handle logistics like dealing with the tallow guy, they can actually save money by letting you have it.

You're actually doing livestock a favor

Livestock people are generally chill and have a much more utility/asset view of their animals. If the animal doesn't even have a name they probably don't care what happens when it's dead. In fact, most farmers will jump at the chance to give you their animal for free because calling the tallow company to haul it away costs them money. This is also why in areas with lots of livestock, you sometimes find bodies dumped in ditches or left on the side of the road, because the farmer didn't want to pay to get rid of it so they made it everyone else's problem. Even pet animals like dogs and cats are more Utility than pure companions on a farm, so you might have a better chance of getting remains from a farmer than a neighbor.

One more thing about pets and livestock.

When I find a dead deer, I flay it open and let the vultures eat it. For domestic animals, they are often put to sleep via chemical/drug.

THIS IS POISONOUS TO SCAVENGERS.

DO NOT LET SCAVENGERS EAT EUTHANIZED ANIMALS

Seriously. If you like nature, you need to protect it. Deflesh it yourself, throw all the meat/blood/offal away or bury it 6 feet down. Idk what it does to the environment so I always freeze it and then throw it away on garbage day.

Rot bacteria and beetle larvae dermestids don't mind. In fact, dermestid droppings and pupa shells can be analyzed for toxins by forensic scientists to determine cause of death. Neat! Just make sure that if you process outdoors, the remains are EXTREMELY SECURE and cannot be opened by vultures, coyotes, or wild pigs.

Remember the living, human person

I know I look very clinical by picking apart human emotions, but I respond, feel, love, and grieve just like everyone else. I didn't plan how to get any of the animals in the above stories, I just acted on instinct and these are the ones where that paid off well.

Most of the time if I go "huh. I feel that may not go over well" I can then take that feeling apart and figure out why. So hopefully explaining how my feelings work it can help you listen to your most useful and most compassionate ones.

The living person is always more important than a dead pet. Sometimes you can get the dead pet without distressing your friend, sometimes you shouldn't even try.

Respecting the dead

A final note on working with pets vs wild animals. This is someone's family member, so don't play puppet with it like you might with a skunk skin. Don't take pictures of any part of the process until they are rendered to bones. Pictures of dead pet species are even more distressing to the general public than wild animals, and sick freaks might take your photos and send them to people for kicks or attention. Better to just not have photos than for that to happen.

What processing a pet feels like

Working on a pet is always going to be different for you, the vulture, than a wild animal. Everything you see is touched by human hands. My sister's dog was... beautiful. You don't really realize how moved you're going to be by seeing the perfect amount of healthy fat covering, or beautiful muscles that speak of exercise and attention. She rescued this starving pup and turned him into the healthiest animal I have ever seen. She's a vet assistant and the care and love she put into this dog had me sitting there crying while I held his paws; with their perfectly maintained clipped and sanded nails. I'd only met the dog once for a few minutes when he was alive, but his body was a canvas and every inch was painted with layers and layers of love. It made me so, so sad that his neurological issues couldn't be helped because his body was proof of someone who would stop at nothing to cure what could be cured, and that the last months of his life were happier than he ever imagined.

On the flip side, pets whose bodies show signs of neglect and abuse are going to hit you harder than any deer could. The dog I found discarded in a garbage bag on the side of the road had rotten teeth and nails so long they curled over themselves into hoops. An overgrown and suffering deer is just the sign of nature taking its course. An overgrown and suffering dog is the sign of human cruelty, of shirked responsibility.

Most pets you get will between these two dogs. No owner is perfect. Most old dogs have lost teeth to rot, sick cats too weak to scratch properly may have overgrown nails.

Death as beauty

A pet's body usually a beautiful story full of ups and downs; of owners doing things wrong and then doing things right. A vulture or an artist can read a body like rings on a tree and feel the heart beat in their chest that tells them how strong and full of love this life had been. You need to be ready for this part. Every detail is a message from your fellow human and even though we are all animals and we decompose into the same dirt, we're meant to connect to each other here and now.

Keep your emotions open when working with remains.

Listen to what they have to teach you.

#vulture culture #vulture culture tutorial #vulture culture dog #vulture culture cat #animal death #my stuff #tutorial #vulture tips #ok to rb #ramble machine #long post #shire screams #I hope this resonates with someone #It's not exactly.... spiritual #It's forensic science paired with empathy #which is I guess my view on spirituality and how I connect with nature #I respect the dead because I believe I'm learning how to be a better person by doing so #not because I think their soul is watching me #I don't believe in fate or karma or earning blessings and wrath #I just believe in building yourself into someone who shows compassion and love #dead animals are good practice #the best ones show me how I want to treat myself and treat others and what kind of world I want to build #I just hope we all make it

[thran-duils]

Use All of Me (P.15 -- final)

Title: Use All Of Me (Part Fifteen, Final) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Steve Rogers. The Avengers are heroes saving the world but in this AU, they are also permitted by the powers in charge to have less than favorable business underneath their guise of mere superheroes. Steve and Tony are at the helm, keeping their empire’s wealth in check, both devious and perilous if crossed. Steve takes a liking to the reader at a party and it may be her undoing to her autonomy choosing to go home with him. Words: 2,591 Warnings: Dark AF, angst, emotional/mental abuse, smut, breeding, death Author’s Note: I had a lot of extra things I wanted to add in (not mentioning the two other ways I considered taking the fic) but they were fleeting and not conducive to the plot. Just day to day things and I didn’t want to drag it out more than it needed to be. I am satisfied with this and I hope you guys are too.

Part Fourteen || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Steve shook his head, scrolling through his phone across the table from you. His dinner was barely touched he was so engrossed in what he was reading. He must have felt you staring because he looked up, making eye contact with you.

You swallowed and asked now that you had his attention, “What is making you so upset?”

Reluctantly, Steve told you, “Gossip columns. About us. About you.”

“Well, I don’t know about that because I don’t have my phone… or internet access at that.” Steve’s face was stoic at your remark and you shrugged, unable to mask your scorn “You’re the one who put my face out there. Can’t blame people for being concerned about one of their stars.”

“You forced my hand,” Steve told you in a low voice. “Did you not?”

You took another bite of your food, knowing you were toeing a line.

Steve put his phone down, scooting his chair closer to yours, invading your space. “Did you not?” he repeated with more force.

“I did,” you whispered.

His fingers ghosted along the side of your face. “Like I told you… you don’t think about the repercussions of your actions. You were acting unstable. Nothing like yourself. I had to do it to bring you back. I had to do it to keep you safe.”

He was so insistent in his chivalry about whisking you back home, keeping you barred inside. You blocked out what he was saying about you, like he was blaming you for reacting perfectly normally to being kept in a cage. You wanted to move onto something else.

“Did you pay that person… who turned me in?”

“Yes.”

“Are Yua and Natalie back at their jobs?”

“Yes.”

You proposed honestly, “How can I be sure? That you’re telling me the truth? When I cannot even check on them myself?”

“You don’t trust me?” Steve’s eyes were hard, challenging you.

What a loaded question.

“I don’t see any reason why you would lie to me about it,” you lied yourself in response.

Steve looked tickled by your response, but you also sensed displeasure in his tone. “Y/N… I have enough money and power to ruin them if I wanted to. And I wouldn’t keep it a secret from you because there would be a damn good reason I would have done so. And I would want you to know what lesson you were supposed to learn. So, darling, trust me when I tell you that they are okay. I listened to what you requested. I can be reasonable when you behave.” He leaned back, eyes searching your face. He let out a small sigh seeing the meek expression on your face, “Over time you’ll get your phone back... your friends coming around to visit again.”

He was waiting expectantly for you to answer, to say anything.

“I understand.”

Steve’s hand was warm, grasping yours. “You did good, doll face…” he praised gently. “You came back to me. You brought the babies back. I am desperate to see you mothering our children… swelling with more of them.” He reached over, picking up an envelope on top of the stack of papers near him. He held it up to you and said, “And I intend to make good on my word about making it official.”

Steve handed it to you and you took it from him gingerly. Unfolding the papers inside, you looked down at the paper, seeing it was a marriage application.

Confused, you asked, “You… you don’t even want to have a ceremony?”

“Do you want a ceremony?” Steve asked seriously.

“Yes,” you breathed. If you were going to get married, you wanted to at least celebrate it. Have something to look forward to if you were going to be legally bound to him.

“Hmm.” Steve looked contemplative. “I didn’t think you would be interested in that.” He paused, chewing on the thought. He blew a small raspberry, reaching for his phone. “Well, maybe it is a good thing I did float the idea.” He began to hand the phone to you but paused, cocking his head slightly. “Now… I’m gonna let you look at this because Wanda was able to find some beautiful maternity gowns. Tell me what you think of them. Don’t search anything else. Understand?” You nodded and he handed you his phone and you stared down at it, shocked to see wedding gowns.

Being pregnant was not something you had considered for the ceremony. Or particularly wanted for your wedding day photos.

“Do we have to move so quickly?”

“Yes,” Steve responded curtly.

“Why?”

“Because I want it to all be settled before the babies get here.”

The only reason he would want that… he had to have an angle. There must be something that he wanted.

“Can I—”

“Small ceremony, Y/N,” Steve cut you off, as if he knew exactly what you were going to ask. And you could not fathom how he could just read you like a book. It unnerved you. He was observant and it was detrimental to you. “I already have the list and the venue was set.”

“The v-venue?”

He threw you a smirk, “I was banking on you wanting a ceremony.”

So that is what Tony had been talking about.

<><><>

Your hands ran over the gown. The beaded sheer top above your bustline glittered in the light. You were a little chilly with your bare arms, but you barely noticed above your nerves. Surprisingly, you had been left alone in the room serving as the bridal suite. Not that you could make a run for it anyway in this dress and with your stomach. You snorted at the thought of you running down the street; it did calm you down a little.

Yet, you still wished your friends had been able to attend but it was ‘family’ only as Steve had said. And that family meant the team.

The door opened, drawing your attention.

Wanda was standing there, and she stopped, seeing you done up.

“You look lovely,” she said gently, a sincere smile on her face.

You returned her smile, giving a quick nod. You found yourself more often than not, cradling your stomach, and here you were again. You grimaced when one of the twins gave a particularly hard kick and Wanda noticed.

She was at your side immediately, “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” you breathed, nodding. “Would be terrible to have the babies at 28 weeks… far too early.”

“Not uncommon though.” Wanda still sounded unsure.

You waved her off. “I’m fine. Really. They’re just kicking and moving around.”

Wanda relaxed a little and said, “Alright, if you’re sure. Well, they’re ready. Are you?”

Shakily, you told her, “Yes. Yes, of course.”

The room was bright, draped in shades of sky blues. White petals were scattered along the aisle down to where Steve was standing. You breath caught at the sight of him, causing you to hesitate in your stride. Steve looked handsome, so very handsome. Somehow you made it to the end of the aisle, coming to stand in front of him. You hardly could contain the smile that came to you, unable to block out the happiness you felt coming off of him in waves. He looked so sure, so satisfied as he took your hand in his.

His words were sweet, loving. You tried to breathe easy as he slipped the ring on your finger, noticing the hungry look on his eyes. When you were told to kiss, Steve guided you, his lips dominating yours.

Signing away on the marriage certificate, you noticed his lips twitch watching you. He was elated. He was getting exactly what he wanted… you. Forever.

The night would have gone smoothly if you had not felt another hard kick from the babies. It felt different. It was not a normal kick.

Your fork clattered to your plate over your dinner at the bridal table. Your hand came to your stomach, your face twinged in pain.

Steve’s laugh faltered, his attention drawn from Bucky next to him.

“Y/N?” he asked, his tone suddenly serious. Bucky was leaning forward, sharing Steve’s look of concern.

Trying to play it off, you nodded with difficulty. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Another kick hit and you grimaced, a sharp gasp leaving your mouth. “Okay, maybe I’m not.”

Steve was standing and staring down at you in worry. The rest of the team had noticed and were hanging in suspension as they realized there was something wrong.

“I’ll get the car,” Steve declared. “Tony, Bucky, can you help her outside? I’m getting the car.”

Without waiting for them to answer, Steve was already halfway to the door, his stride quick.

Tony and Bucky were there, hands holding you as they helped you stand. You whimpered, your belly tight, soreness swirling in your hips and lower back. You had had period cramps before but this was something else entirely.

You felt wet and looked down at your legs. Your dress was soaked in a stream and you let out a strangled noise. Your water was broken and panic began to set in.

“Oh, boy, yeah,” Tony said sounding like he was trying to keep himself calm since he noticed it as well as him and Bucky helped you walk towards the door.

“I’m not ready,” you begged, tears welling up in the corner of your eyes. “I’m not ready!”

“I don’t think you’ve got much of a say in the matter,” Tony told you, trying to make a joke. He gave a small laugh, but you could tell he was nervous. You cried out and he quickly held to you as your knees threatened to buckle underneath you. “Oh, shit. Okay. Keep steady, sweetheart.”

“I can’t!” you snapped at him.

Tony closed his mouth.

Bucky grunted as your legs quivered and you leaned into him as you reached the door. They helped you down the stairs as carefully as they could as you heard tires squeal to a stop at the curb. Steve had been speeding from the parking garage.

Steve got halfway out of the car, but Bucky said, “We got it. Don’t worry.”

They helped you get into the front seat of the car and you gripped the sides of the chair, closing your eyes as another contraction rumbled through you. You heard Bucky get into the backseat of the car and slam the door closed.

Steve took off quickly, promising you he would get you to the hospital as quickly as possible. He was doing well hiding his anxiousness, channeling it into assuring you and telling you it was going to be okay.

<><><>

“It was the goddamn stress!” Steve grated furiously. “She should have stayed home! She shouldn’t have run off! Why was she so stupid?”

He was pacing angrily in one of the waiting rooms down the hallway. Y/N had given birth to both of the babies, far prematurely. They had both been whisked away to the NICU without Y/N and Steve both given much time to see them, let alone hold them. They were reassured they would be able to visit once the babies were set up safely. It did not sit well with Steve. Y/N was exhausted and was having trouble staying awake, so he had left the room when he was sure she was alright. She needed rest.

But now that he was out of the height of the situation, anger began swirling at the risk she had been put at along with the babies.

The team had shown up, still dressed in their wedding attire.

No one argued with Steve. He might very well have a valid point about it and saying anything to the contrary was not going to calm him down.

Steve ground his teeth, hands coming to his hips in frustration.

“They said the babies are alright though?” Natasha finally spoke.

Steve looked over at her and shrugged, “I think. I don’t know. They said they needed to be put on oxygen. That doesn’t sound good to me.”

“It’s probably precautionary, Steve,” Pepper offered gently.

Finding an empty chair, Steve sat down in it heavily, resting his elbows on his thighs. His eyes swept around the room, taking everyone in. He could see the unquiet in their expressions, their worry for him. He was supposed to be the one keeping everyone levelheaded; that was his job. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for just a moment. He just needed a moment to compose himself and be strong for everyone else.

When he opened them again, he said, “It better be. It’s gotta be.”

<><><>

Steve was there when your eyes fluttered open. It took a few moments for your eyes to adjust to the light in the room, even though it was dimmed. You focused in on the sheets and your gown. And then you felt the remnants of pain in your lower half, even though it was dull now.

It all hit you at once and you tried to sit up too quickly. You gasped in pain and Steve was halfway out of his chair.

“You’re fine,” he said in a rush, his hands coming to your arms. His eyes were swimming with worry. “Don’t get up, Y/N. You need to rest.”

Breathing erratically, you looked at him in alarm. “T-the babies?”

“They’re in the NICU,” Steve assured you quickly. “One is breathing on her own, the other is on tubes. But they think that he will be able to breath on his own soon.”

You stared at him and demanded, “You’ve seen them?”

“Yes. You did too. Briefly.”

That came back to you too. You had seen them. You had been awake for everything. But the exhaustion had taken over.

“But… you saw them? Without me?” you asked weakly.

“Yeah,” Steve admitted, slowly sitting back down in his chair. “I haven’t held them, but I’ve seen them. Through the window.” His hands rubbed your arms affectionately. “Y/N, doll face, really. You need to lie back. You lost a lot of blood.” That’s when you noticed the IV and everything attached to you. “They treated you and replaced but you’re still going to be weak.”

You did as he asked, lying back on the plethora of pillows behind you. He physically relaxed at you reclined, but he was still leaning towards you, ever watchful.

His tone was sympathetic, “I don’t like you sick. I don’t like worrying about you. I’m supposed to protect you.” His thumb traced across your lips, concern swimming in his eyes now. “I hope though you’ll take something from this… that you’ll think twice about being reckless. I don’t want our future children being put through this, Y/N. I don’t want you being put through this. I want you to be secure, relaxed… safe under my watch.”

Steve’s other hand came to rest on your stomach and you felt a sense of foreboding flooding in. His closed mouth smile conveyed confidence, his hand gently caressing. “Despite all of that stress though… you pulled through. You are special, Y/N. I can’t wait to watch you swell again.” He was sincere, gaze intense, and his fingers holding you close. “You are the most important thing to me. I’ll make sure next time goes more smoothly for you. I’ll be there every step of the way next time.”

He leaned in close now, his lips brushing against your ear, “You’re all in my custody now. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

~~~

Tags: @imsonick , @alexakeyloveloki, @kvzctam, @ironlady1993, @taintedgenre, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @roxyfan14-blog @mrsnegan25 @coconutqueen21

#steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers #dark steve rogers #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers x reader #marvel fic #dark marvel fic #dark marvel #my shit

[mischievouswritingblog]

Meta Essay: Medivh The Bisexual Icon

As of the time of this post, there’s going to be an update coming to World of Warcraft where the once all female ghosts in Karazhan will be changed to include male varieties as well.

Full details on the update can be found here: https://www.wowhead.com/news/female-only-ghosts-in-karazhan-updated-to-include-male-versions-324371

This has caused a lot of fun posts and people to take this as an ‘accidental confirmation’ by Blizzard that the character Medivh is bisexual. Pair this along with how some of his portrayal in Hearthstone was made into Warcraft canon, and in my opinion, it’s an excellent update to his character.

It’s no secret that Blizzard’s had a massive lack in LBGTQ+ representation for the longest time. Often when such subject matter did show up it was treated more as a punchline in some quests or was kept conveniently to the sidelines, with nonconsequential, blink and you miss it text, side characters, moments. It’s insulting, to say the least, and is the source of a growing frustration from the LBGTQ+ members of the audience. What’s more, whenever this frustration gets voiced it’s always talked down to. We are told that to ‘keep politics out of gaming’ and that we are too sensitive, when these are the same people that get bent out of shape when even a single thing changes or is called out in their game. It’s bullshit. LBGTQ+ people exist and the act of existing isn’t a political issue.

But of course, with people even making lighthearted jokes or posts of Medivh being a ‘Bisexual Icon’, there’s folks crawling out of the woodwork with reasons from “But the loooooooore!” (as if the lore isn’t constantly changing and being retconned from one expansion to the next) to “Well A-C-T-U-A-L-L-Y, those male guests were just for the female nobles that visited and attended his parties, Medivh was very straight”. To that, I’m going to say: “Nah, Medivh is a bisexual icon, deal with it”.

In my personal opinion, Medivh is an excellent character to explore queerness  with. He’s a character that’s been around since Warcraft 1 and the effects and ties from his story are still felt throughout World of Warcraft in various ways. Medivh is also a character that’s gone through a large amount of evolution and various portrayals. My personal favorite being the One Night in Karazhan take on him because it’s so different from the usual ‘brooding, grand powerful hermit-mage’ that his type of character usually is. Medivh in One Night in Karazhan is instead, vibrant and is a thriving social butterfly that loves to have and treat people to a good time. His reasonings for being this way make a lot more sense when you really think about what Medivh’s situation was.

Now, I have to mention that I do a much deeper dive and deconstruction of Medivh’s circumstances and just how messed up they were in this self indulgent essay/headcanon dump: ‘My Completely Self-indulgent Medivh Essay’. Feel free to give it a read but here is the basic gist for this essay:

Yes, Medivh was the Guardian, one of the most powerful mages to exist at the time. He was also possessed by Sargeras and was the one that created and opened the Dark Portal that brought the Orcs to Azaroth and changed Azeroth forever. But here’s the thing, Medivh had no choice in any of it.

To be the Guardian means you have to put your life on the line for Azeroth’s sake. This is a role that had to be kept to secrecy, people had to make a lot of sacrifices to be the Guardian. You gain phenomenal powers and it is a great honor but none of this was anything that Medivh ever asked for. He was literally born to become the Guardian, there was no other choice for his own future. 

Then you have Sargeras, he had his plans in play long before Medivh was even a thought. A sliver of Sargeras had entered Aegwynn (Med’s mother and the Guardian before him) from a battle between Aegwynn and his avatar. This influence hid within her and made its move when she decided that she wasn’t going to allow the Council of Tirisfal to choose her heir for her title and powers for her. Ignoring Chronicle’s softening of her, she used Medivh’s father, Neilas Aran, the court magician of Stormwind to sire a child. In TLG she let him know she flat out used him and felt nothing for him then came back later and tossed baby Medivh to him for free childcare. What neither of them knew at the time was that Medivh was possessed by Sargeras while he was in the womb. Sargeras would then screw him over even further by causing his powers to lash out when he was fourteen, causing him to accidentally kill his father and fall into a near 10 year coma, and wake up mentally and emotionally fourteen in a twenty-three-year-old’s body. So from the very beginning Medivh was always set up for failure.

So with this summary out of the way, the point of the matter is that Medivh is a character that had little autonomy for most of his life. His career and his fate were chosen for him from the start. Sargeras was in his head messing with him throughout his life, in TLG Medivh even tells Khadgar that he tried to fight it as much as he could. His story is a tragic one but with his reappearance in Legion there’s potentially a ray of hope.

I think there’s a lot of aspects in Medivh’s story that can tie well with the feelings and experiences of queerness. Not so much the being possessed by discount space Satan, but more so the struggle of trying to have autonomy and hanging onto who you are as a person. Being queer myself and looking at it through that lens, I see Medivh being vibrant and throwing parties as an attempt for him to seize what autonomy he could for himself. To exist, to be seen, and to have an identity of his own that had nothing to do with being the Guardian of Tirisfal. I think that it’s also something that separates Medivh from Sargeras. There were likely times where Sargeras may have forced the lines between them to blur as he gradually poisoned Medivh’s thoughts and twisted his soul throughout the years. Medivh likely had to struggle a lot with separating who he truly was from Sargeras. This being inside him, who wasn’t him but would at times take over his body suppressing Medivh’s true self. It’s a horror story where some elements can really hit close to home.

Medivh I believe surrounded himself with like minded, free spirited people like Barnes and the theater troupe (while there’s the joke Medivh’s only seen three plays, I choose to headcanon he’s a theater kid, given how he has a theater to begin with and his own love for theatrics). Whether you picture Medivh as aro, ace, gay, bi, pan, or trans, with the upcoming changes he clearly accepts many kinds of people into his home.

This also has the interesting effect of changing some of the tones for some events in his lore. One example being the titans sending down the Maiden of Virtue to punish Medivh and make him live a more ‘pure’ life. The Titans are Azeroth’s closest thing to a pantheon of gods. They are beings of order, having taken Azeroth in her rawest form and molding her into something they saw fit. Apparently, Medivh’s parties and behavior was seen as something that required ‘correcting’.

On one hand, it’s really easy to read it simply as Medivh being a selfish, spoiled brat. But with looking at it through a queer lens one can put a more positive spin on the situation. The Maiden of Virtue was sent to shame and punish him into conforming into something the Titans believe someone like Medivh should behave. It clearly didn’t work. Looking at this situation, one can read it as Medivh refusing to relinquish his identity because a ‘higher power’ wanted him to. In the real world there are so many that have to hide their orientation and gender thanks to people using religion and belief as a cudgel. So having a character like Medivh as queer, with the power and willfulness to flat out refuse and shut it down is a refreshing power move.

Medivh’s story and the way he is in general has elements that I believe many people of the LBGTQ+ can relate with. He’s a complicated character that has dealt with abuse and being forced into roles without his consent, he made identity for himself and it was stripped away by an oppressor (Sargeras), and, depending on if Blizzard decides he’s actually resurrected/alive instead of being a ghost, is a survivor.

So to me, I love the idea of Medivh being a queer icon in Warcraft. It hasn’t been officially stated by Blizzard at the time this essay was posted but it has started a fun conversation. There are and will be the haters who will scream and tantrum about the LBGTQ+ touching their precious (when convenient) lore with their filthy paws and tarnishing ‘their game’. But in the meantime, I’m going to continue having a blast with the idea and enjoy working the story potential it gives into fanfics, speculations, and essays.

If you enjoyed this essay, I did a few other bits of meta, headcanons, and speculation for fun: My Completely Self-indulgent Medivh Essay

A Bit About Wizards and Sorcerers

Headcanons: Medivh is Alive and Currently Uses ‘The Guardian’s Study’ as his Home

#World of Warcraft #Medivh #warcraft headcanons