#(because if a person still behaves like that at 34 they are not smart)
Note
Multiples of 2 let's go / o/
Meme || Accepting!
2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?
Well, considering twins don’t remember her because she left them that young it’s pretty much nonexistent. Still, the two were never told anything about her other than she died before they were born. They never even got her name, but they did have two pictures of her and nothing more. The two like to think she loved them and the two have lots of fantasies and ideas on what kinda persons she must’ve been like because they never got any info on her.
4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?
For Darla, it’s the first time she witnessed someone being tortured right in front of her. She hasn’t seen the world in the same way since then and Andrew had to help comfort her later.
For Andrew, he’s always been more jaded so no. He’s yet to see anything that’s changed him drastically yet.
6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?
Darla tends to dream about living an alternate life. She legitimately gets to see what her life was like if her dad loved her. If she hadn’t done x. Sometimes the alternate life is so fulfilling she cries when she wakes up because she never got to live a life like that and got to experience that normalcy and happiness.
Andrew on the other hand tends to dream about being alone or losing the people that he loves.
8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?
Darla tried to give a warning shot when she manged to reach for it first. Unfortunately she ended up killing them instead. She had terrible aim, so she tries to avoid firing gun unless their close enough she won’t miss her intended target.
Andrew has fired a gun a couple of times. Most times it was in tense situations, and he fired with the intention of harming/killing them.
10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?
Andrew feels more comfortable with more clothes and Darla less.
12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?
Already answered.
14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?
Both remember faces easier!
16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?
Darla Happiness and Andrew success
18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?
Answered.
20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?
The two constantly compare themselves against each other for the sake of self-criticism. Both are jealous of each other and see things in one another that they wish they had instead. Darla makes friends so much easier than him. Andrew is smarter than she will ever be. Etc.
Sometimes they will compare themselves to their friends as well if they have a trait they wish they had themselves.
22. What does your character like in other people?
Both like kindness. Darla likes people who are smart and Andrew likes people who are understanding or are artistic. Also, someone who likes to read, but I feel like that’s a given.
24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?
Not at all. It will take months for them to trust you with a small secret like their homeless and years before they even tell you their full real names which is a sign they trust you completely without a doubt.
26. How does your character behave around children?
Andrew absolutely adores children, so he will try to play with them and teach them little things like how to weave bracelets out of grass and clovers. Basically he will act like their older brother.
Darla also likes children, but she feels like her twin is much better with them, so she will for the most part keep her distance, but she will scold or nurture them if they fight or get hurt.
Either way the two are on the best behavior and do their best to be role models.
28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?
Darla is extremely quick. The second she gets mad enough that she can’t handle it anymore she will resort to violence.
Andrew on the other hand will avoid it unless he feels like it’s the only way OR if he thinks fighting is the faster way he will do it without hesitation or much warning.
30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?
The two can’t handle filthy places. They can put up with dirty places to a degree, but after a point they can’t even walk in. They just can’t. Darla also can’t handle places with a lot of bugs. She will just throw up.
32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.
They are handcuffed or constrained in some way in separate rooms with no way to contact or see each other.
34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?
Andrew is more likely to keep trying the same thing even if it didn’t work the first time. Darla on the other hand will try as many other solution/methods as she can think of.
36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?
Darla will be fake nice to them. Well, her version of it. She will say the meanest things she can of with the sweetest voice possible and with a smile on her face.
Andrew will do his best to provoke and try to fight them. Or at the very least annoy them as much as he can for as long as he can.
38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?
Hmm. I think for both of them they are likely to remove themselves from the problem/threat because they just don’t want to put up with it and rather push it off for as long as they can or ignore it till it goes away.
40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?
The two feel for people in service jobs having to deal with the worst in humanity (i.e. them half the time) so they leave behind giant tips if they end up damaging anything and leave double the normal amount even when they behave themselves. Of course when they are in France they don’t leave tips at all, so they always behave there.
42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?
I was gonna say no at first, but actually? They see their boss as a father figure and for all the worse ways. He is even more abusive towards them than their own dad was.
44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?
For twins, it’s very difficult for them to say ‘I love you’ it will take them years to say that to someone. No matter what kinda relationship they are in with someone else. They take these words very seriously and will only say when they’re sure they mean it. Darla can say it without meaning it, but it’s hard for her, and it’s kinda obvious she doesn’t mean it.
#iinauras#Answered#⚔; headcannon#this was supper long and hard but still thanks for sending this in!
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1. The way you love
2. The 'right' feeling you give me
3. You are virtuous, which really reflects your name
4. The support you show me even in my craziest endeavoura
5. The adventures we take together
6. You're childish yet mature
7. You're kind and considerate, and understanding
8. You have a good family, and you love your family
9 You think about things deeply. You are wise
10. You care for people and community.
11. The way you doubt yourself and not see how perfect you are
12. How you are willing to try new things
13. How you dare to dream outside of your lived experience
14. Your silly antics (also 6)
15. Tarian
16. We think the same way and agree on the same things 90% of the time
17. Our horoscopes match
18. Your willingness to learn and take on a different perspective
19. Your forgiveness
20. The way you behave both like a mother and a chils
21. The way your fat thighs heat up
22. The way you listen to people wholeheartedly even when you are not interested or disagree
23. Your independence and reliability
24 The way you see the good in others, and give people a chance to prove themselves before you place your judgement
25. The way you put others before yourself
26. Courage (in addition to 23)
27.. The way you try to look pretty sometimes even though I say I don't care
28. The way you look beautiful even in casual clothing
29. That you know your limits and 'no means no' and 'enough means enough'
30. That you know your dreams and priorites
31. That you are dedicated and faithful
32. The way you feel uncomfortable and ask "what" when looked at for too long
33. The way you say "fuck", because you know its a bad word but some occassions makes it appropriate.
34. You have a good heart and good intentions
35. The way you lecture me and there are different levels to it: the "concerned talk lecture (should not drive in Thailand)", "The serious talk with the annoyed eyebrow lecture", "the buay tahan going to cry lecture (don't shower, and not understanding the severity of our relationship situation)"
36. The way you were so sure we were going to be married
37. The way you planned for our future
38. How you thought what we were doing did not matter as much as our enjoyment of purely being together (bucket lists, cheap thrills)
39. How we were perfectly comfortable with each other - pooping, peeing, and farting.
40. How you refuse to cry in front of me
41. How you hair always smell like your shampoo, and your clothes smell like your detergent
42. How you bought yourself a Starbucks card for Valentine's on my behalf
43. How you taught me to be a good person and a good boyfriend/husband/lover
44. How we were already behaving like we were married
45. How you always say thank you and praise me even though we were just doing the same small things for each other that we might otherwise take for granted
46. How you see love and kinship in a way that I did not see, and practiced it in a way that I did not enjoy growing up
47. How you understood that there are many things that are more important than money. (I do too. I do.)
48. How you convinced yourself not to buy little souvenirs from trips even though you really wanted them
49. How you were always smiling and cheerful and talkative, and something was wrong when you were not
50. How proud you are to be a Singaporean
51. How bad you are in the kitchen, and scared of fire but still cooked and baked for me
52. How we were able to talk about everything under the sun (and moon and stars - mbs)
53 How you physically challenge yourself even though you don't think you were capable (MAD and OE)
54. How nerdy you look in specs and how blind you were without it
55. How you didn't give up hope on me even when I gave up on myself in JC. How you believed in me.
56. How you were a source of hope for me in all my difficult times
57. How you were more than just a partner, but a family, a friend, a best friend, a playmate, a lover, companion, travel partner, soulmate, everything
58. How you thought that having a practical opinion on a water bottle was a trait of a perfect husband
59. How you looked up to me and saw potential even when you were a med student and I was a nothing - it was something I was uncomfortable with
60. How you tolerated my stupidity and did not expect me to be any different than who I was, myself
61. How you were more daring than me - booked staycay even when I hesitated
62. How you are able to make me smile just by being present, even on the phone
63. How you are grateful for the little things
64. How you are wise and smart in the ways that I could not
65. Your family (obviously). and extended family
66. Your child-like handwriting
67. The sheepish look you give when I scold you for wasting your food
68. The way I feel like I know you. Your likes and dislikes, what you don't eat, etc
69. Wow, we got to 69
70. The way we seem to understand each other verbally and non-verbally. Sometimes creepy telepathy
71. I swear there were times when I felt we were born for each other
72. How I know that I would be happy if I had nothing in the world but you. Something that hit me very hard and very clearly July last year
73. The sound effects that you sometimes make
74. Your dimples
75. How I forget that you are a girl sometimes. This is more significant than jt may seem. That's why I feel like you were a soulmate, cos I would probably love a guy like you. With you, it's like there were no gender roles, no boundaries?
76. The way you giggle until your head rolled over to one side
77. The way we were deeply connected but also had personal space
78. The way you got pissed at me because you cared (also 20)
79. That we got favorable answers when we asked about each other in the temple
80. The way you bun up your hair with a towel after you shower
81. How you eat Mcspicy even though it gives you diarrhea
82.
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Get to know: Cesca Joyce (TMOHB)
100 Questions (https://the-moon-dust-writings.tumblr.com/post/159843387908/100-oc-questions) to get to know Cesca Joyce, MC in The Motion of Heavenly Bodies
1. How do they present themselves to others? Soft femme – she has had the importance of femininity and her appearance drilled into her from an early age by her mother, but she has withdrawn from the idea of high-maintenance femininity as much as she feels she can
2. Do they like animals? Cats and marine life. She doesn’t like dogs.
3. How do they dress? Often as casual as she can manage, and often in something which hides her chest.
4. How many language do they know? Fluent in English and German. proficient in French. Likes to watch K-dramas with subs, so she can pick up on the odd phrase now.
5. How big is their family? Parents divorced. Two full siblings, two paternal half-siblings.
6. What is their purpose in the story? Uh..they’re the main character. Ha. No, Cesca’s “arc”, such as it is at this point, is going to be about the importance of recognising and pursuing your own desires rather than letting people tell you what you should want.
7. Do they know how to fight? The extent of her knowledge is basically that you should tuck your thumb into your fist if you throw a punch. That’s basically it.
8. What is their back story? Distant father (working in international finance), mother (thwarted model, pregnant too young and unable to cope) at home with children she never wanted in the first place. She wants them to be the successes she never was, to shine with radiance that blinds the world. Sarah, their first daughter, is genial and hard-working but painfully plain, and the youngest, Alice, is manipulative and cruel, and looks it. But sweet little Franze, with her angelic curls and innocent blue eyes? Yes, she will do nicely.
But it isn’t long before she rebels. Skinned knees and grubby hands (“Mutti, look what I found!”), and a profound disinterest in how to make herself more beautiful. So Julia tries again, taking away her rocks and microscopes and replacing them with vanities and lotions and potions, until Franze is a dejected little doll – almost literally, listless and lifeless.
A teacher at school flags up “Cesca’s” (Franze’s) behaviour as being a “concern”, and threatens to involve child protection services. But how could it possibly be a concern? This is what little girls are supposed to be like.
9. Why is their name their name? Conceived on holiday in France – and it’s generally considered an upper middle-class name in both countries
10.Do they have any nicknames? Francesca (anglicised), Franze (German diminutive), Cesca (English diminutive – her favourite), C (school friends)
11.Do they have a romantic interest? …I mean, yeah, that’s the point – but that would be telling. So instead, let’s talk about her only other long-term relationship, Julian, when they were both 17. A son of Father’s friend—and Father is friends with some of the best society has to offer, he’s told her himself—he is sure of himself and charismatic enough to make Cesca believe it as well. She thinks he loves her, though he only ever really loved chasing her, and she cries when he breaks up with her, not one week after they had had sex for the first time.
12.How do they cope with struggles? At work, depends on the struggle. She tries to judge carefully what the best course of action would be – either she’ll take some time away to let it simmer; or she’ll keep at it until she finds another way in. In her personal life, she avoids whatever she can get away with.
13.Do they have anyone they can lean on? More than she knows – she’s never tested it with anyone else other than Sarah. She isn’t always sure how her friends feel about her, not truly, especially after she is selected to go on the show without them.
14.How do they react to someone dying? Lot of numbness. She can seem insensitive or uncaring, but it takes a while for it to sink in.
15.Can you name 5 personality traits they have? Reserved, analytical, emotionally perceptive, avoidant, sensitive
16.How did they become a character? Because I was fed-up of the S3 MC being just different flavours of the same bold, confident person. I mean, it’s a CYOA game, there aren’t exactly many opportunities to feed in complex hopes/wants/fears, but even the S2 MC could choose to be “cool and mysterious” or “all out”.
17.Do they get along with others? She often chooses the path of least resistance – so often people think they get on with her better than they actually do, because she isn’t always honest with how she feels about things or people
18.What flaws do they have? Arrogant (mostly at work), naïve, perfectionist, practical, rigorous/over-zealous
19.How do they influence the story? A little too spoiler-y for now…
20.What do they look like? Honey blonde curls (usually pinned back), blue eyes, 5’ 3”. Quite pale, even after weeks in the Spanish sun – it would take a lot more time and effort for her to tan. Some freckles, but not many. Looks delicate at first blush, but is deceptively strong for her build. Bottom hourglass.
21.What are their hobbies? Collecting and listening to old vinyl records. Swimming and free diving.
22.What are their ticks? She blushes at the drop of a hat, and she bites her lip. She doesn’t intend it to come off as sexual or flirty (quite the opposite) but people don’t believe her.
23.Do they like children? If you ask her, she’ll laugh and tell you no, loudly. But Sarah has just had twin boys, and Cesca thinks that she might just die for them anyway, even if they don’t need her to.
24.How do they react to being around wild animals? Aquatic animals – loves it, very affectionate/serene (even when she went cage diving with sharks). Land animals? More of a mixed reaction, depending on how physically large/imposing they are.
25.If they were given the task to prank someone, who would it be, what would they do and would it work? She doesn’t so much prank people as plot to ruin their lives, particularly careers.
26.Do they have survival skills? Not really – her mother didn’t think it was necessary for girls, and she has thrown herself into science since.
27.Are they more book smart or street smart? More socially savvy than she gives herself credit for, but mostly book smart
28.How do they get out of a difficult situation? Depends on the situation. In a dangerous situation, she will call for help. In a socially awkward position, she’s like to use her looks to get out of the situation (e.g. sending someone off to get her a drink from the bar and then disappearing into the crowd). In a romantic situation, she’d use her intellect and talk through in excruciating detail why they’re not compatible.
29.Do they use their body, mind, personality or force to get what they want? See 28
30.What music do they enjoy? Older music, from the 1960s-1980s (90s at a push). She does like some more modern things, but usually if they’re either drawing inspiration from older trends or europop. Trashy Europop is a guilty pleasure of hers.
31.How do they overcome obstacles? Grit and determination, mostly.
32.When faced with a difficult decision do they get stronger or break? At work, stronger. Emotionally, she’s never fully broken down but she’s come close a few times.
33.Do they have any special powers? Just her brain.
34.How do they change throughout the story? She gets a little more assertive in articulating what she wants – but there will still be some room for growth
35.Do they have any friends? If so, are they close knit? Two close friends from school, who would do anything she asked of them (in terms of emotional support), but she is too scared to ask them. So their friendship appears more superficial than it actually is, in terms of what they do together
36.How is their family life? She only really sees her older sister. She avoids Alice (younger full-sister) like the plague and doesn’t make an effort to see her father’s new family. Will basically shut down if she has to see her mother. Christmas is not a happy time for her.
37.Are they likable? I certainly think so, but she’s my ambitious little alien baby so…
38.Are they the hero, or anti-hero? Depends on your viewpoint – certainly some of her “competitors” wouldn’t see her as the hero…!
39.Do they make questionable choices? I mean, we’ll see.
40.How do they become who they are? Through putting her head down and ploughing on. Ultimately running away from…
41.How was their childhood? …being made to feel like the only thing that mattered were her looks. Her mother tried to enter her for pageants and the like, and it was actually one of the terms of the divorce – her father wouldn’t give her mother any alimony if she made Cesca compete in anything like that.
42.Are they close with anyone who is going to screw them over? Again, we’ll see, don’t want to get into plot elements too much…!
43.How do they adapt to different situations? Do they adapt at all? She adapts because she has to, but she’s not particularly good at it.
44.How do they speak? (e.g. soft-spoken, hot-headed, vulgar) Usually soft-spoken, which makes a genuine laugh all the more startling.
45.Are they opposed to violence? There’s something about having been raised to be a good girl and knowing how people should behave in polite society which makes taboos like violence more exciting.
46.When is their birthday? 1st January 1997
47.Are they quick to judge? She tries not to, but she can make snap judgements based on appearances or actions that she finds hard to shake
48.Do they have anything they are trying to hide from others? How she doesn’t like being complimented on her looks, because they just wouldn’t understand.
49.Do they act different around different people? She is much more confident around her work colleagues, because she feels like she can show off her processes, rather than dumb herself down for people. She is very reserved around people she doesn’t know well and most of her family.
50.Do they enjoy the arts? Not a huge fan of reading, unless it’s science-related. Loves music, especially on vinyl. Likes films, usually action/thriller/horror.
51.Do they like science? Loves it. There’s a kind of beauty about it, about how it lets her order the world, and how she can see the world reflected in her microscope.
52.Are they more emotional or logical? I mean I don’t agree with the premise of the question, because it’s a false dichotomy, but she would say she’s more logical. Make of that what you will.
53.How do they deal with their emotions? Distraction tactics. Which means that there’s some stuff that she’s just…never dealt with. Massive issues with her mother.
54.How do they cope with sadness? She’s almost constantly sad, and she’s never really let the weight lift from her shoulders. It doesn’t bother her personally – it only really bothers people that care about her.
55.What is something they care about? She cares about the environment – she tries to be as sustainable as her budget allows, and she’s almost fanatical about saving water. (So she’s clean but she showers only as often as she needs to)
56.Would they die for anyone/anything? Probably her nephews.
57.What do they do when they are happy? Being happy looks very like being sad – she behaves much the same way, but she might fidget less or smile slightly.
58.How would they come across to other characters? E.g. messy, lazy, caring, childish Calm, shy (especially in the context of Love Island, since she doesn’t cope well with being flirted with overtly), clinical
59.Do they have a phrase they use over and over? No? Not yet, anyway
60.In a crowded room are they in the corners, sides or middle? She would gravitate to the sides, so that she can see everyone more clearly. If she’s with friends she trusts (and particularly if she’s had some alcohol) she’s not averse to being in the middle of the room, but it’s not her first option.
61.Are they comfortable being in a crowded room? She can find it overwhelming.
62.How do they relax? Listen to records, watch TV. She usually needs to relax by herself and “de-person” for a bit.
63.Have they ever harmed anyone and regretted it? Verbally or physically? She is usually the one to break off any budding relationships, usually before they become sexual. So for some of these early relationships, they were hurt because they thought she was really into them, but they were usually at an early enough stage that it was fairly minor emotional pain.
64.Do they like to dance? Not unless she’s drunk some alcohol. She doesn’t feel like her body moves very naturally, she needs her inhibitions to be much reduced before she even considers it.
65.How do they get around their environment? (vehicle use) She cycles a lot. She learned to drive when she was 17, but she’s a nervous driver and she doesn’t like it.
66.What about pet peeves? Loud chewers. It’s a sensory thing, she really doesn’t like it. Linked to this – people who talk with their mouths full constantly (she’ll allow it if you’re surprised or if you didn’t expect to be asked a question but if it’s your default? Get in the bin)
67.Do they have a disability? No.
68.How do they react to getting flowers? It depends on the person – if they’re someone who she would like to receive flowers from, it can make her month. If it’s from someone she wasn’t expecting, she can be a bit unsure of how to react – are they are thank you? Are they a proposition? She really doesn’t like receiving flowers from a “secret admirer” or something like that.
69.Would they ever wear a flower crown? Not usually, maybe for something like a wedding? And definitely not if she’s the only one.
70.Do they like themselves? Sometimes. She likes herself when she’s at work and successful. She usually likes herself when she spends time with friends. If she’s left on her own for too long she can start to doubt herself.
71.Who do they dislike? People who aren’t genuine/honest. People who focus on their appearance too much.
72.What is their motto? When she read “If I look back, I am lost.” in the first ASOIAF novel, she had to take a few minutes.
73.Do they have any markings on their body? A few minor scratches from falling off her bike a couple of times. Some freckles, more on her arms than her face.
74.Have they ever been abused? Physically, not at all. Emotionally? Most of her interactions with her mother and her sister are hostile in some way or another, and her father’s attitude can best be described as neglectful.
75.What is their biggest fear? Not to get too body horror about this, but her recurring nightmare is that she makes someone (and the person changes depending on what’s happening in her life) and they push/hit her and she’s hollow, or she smashes to the ground like porcelain.
76.What are their goals? She wants to finish her research into biodegradable plastic, and ideally start a second study to see if the same desired results can be achieved with fewer/cheaper resources.
77.How do they go about achieving their goals? She keeps her head down and ploughs on.
78.Do they have a fight or flight response? Yes, but she almost exclusively chooses to flee.
79.Is there someone in their life that they care about more than themselves? Her sister and her nephews. I don’t necessarily think that her having fewer people she cares about more than herself indicates that she’s selfish or overly arrogant. It’s just that her feelings are a little more subdued, so she doesn’t necessarily think about most people in that way.
80.How would they fare in a zombie apocalypse? Pretty badly, probably – unless she was in an area that hadn’t been affected yet, and she was able to work on a cure/”silver bullet”.
81.Do they have any tattoos? If so, are they significant? No, but she’s not averse to getting them. But if she gets one, she wants it to be significant, and she doesn’t want it to be linked to something that she might regret (like a relationship)
82.Are they good at mental math? Frighteningly so.
83.Do they get along with others? Again, she often takes the path of least resistance, so she seems to get along with lots of people, but she can get quite resentful.
84.Are they lazy? No
85.Are they self-motivated? Yes
86.How do they cope with anger? Short answer, she doesn’t. She was told from an early age that girls don’t get angry, and that means she struggles now to pinpoint when she is feeling angry. She often experiences other symptoms, like headaches or nausea, which she will treat instead of expressing herself.
87.Have they ever been in a situation where they were helpless? Physically, no – she’s been lucky. Emotionally – she felt helpless for a lot of her childhood, and then worries now about letting someone else make her feel helpless again.
88.Are they organized or messy? Pathologically organised – think Monica from Friends.
89.Can they remember a lot of information at once? In the right context, yes. At work, she’s like a machine, remembering formulae and compounds. In her personal life, she often gets overloaded. But she picks up on a lot, and it’s a sign that she likes you if she notices or remembers little details about you.
90.What is their occupation? Environmental scientist (specialising in chemistry, but her degree is in biochemistry).
91.Do other characters respect them? Yes, I think so. Especially at work, she’s seen as one of the key members of the team. In her personal life, it depends – she chooses friends carefully, and her friends respect her. Her father and siblings (aside from Alice) respect her more than she’s willing to notice. Her mother doesn’t, and Alice (younger full sister) loathes her.
92.If they were given minutes to live, what would they do? Who would they want to see and say? She would want to spend time with her sister. She wouldn’t want to talk about her feelings, but she would be more physically affectionate.
93.How do they deal with stress? Burying herself in work. Also, free diving is a good stress-reliever for her, because it requires so much of her concentration that she cannot afford to think about what is stressing her out.
94.Do they have a more submissive or dominant personality type? Depends – very dominant at work, less so among family and friends. I’ll cover NSFW stuff in a different post, but the short answer is, “it’s complicated”
95.Do they have a pet? No – she would like a cat, but she feels bad about leaving it in a London flat all day.
96.Do they have a stash of weapons? …no?
97.Where do they live? Who do they live with? She used to live in Putney with Ellie and Tina; now she lives alone in a small one-bedroom flat in Westminster that’s really meant for students.
98.How do they calm themselves down? Listening to music, staring at a wall. I’m a little worried that I’m making her sound crazy, but she can feel the tension leak out of her, and she can move on, at least in the short term.
99.Are they co-dependent? She makes an effort not to be – she is so affection- and touch-starved, though, that she is in danger of seeing another person as a source of self-worth.
100. Are they a day or night person? Day person – she wakes up very early (probably at about 5am), even when she doesn’t need to, and so she struggles with late nights. She isn’t usually smug about being an early bird, but she will let herself be a little more overt if there’s a particularly annoying Morgenmuffel…!
#cesca#litg fanfic: tmohb#tmohb headcanons#tmohb cesca#i Don't Like doing moodboard but skyler samuels is too pretty not to#i might revisit the moodboard at some point to make it prettier#maybe fix the colours or sth idk
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Wait tell us about crypto!! Ive been meaning to invest but idk where to start
I’m legit excited about this lol I’m actually working on a blog for crypto newbies that is meant to be “a guiding hand” to anyone who’s interested in the topic but it’s just a bit confused. I can share it here once it’s ready to launch!
My main advice to start is:
Research before you jump anywhere. Don’t invest in anything until you understand what it is (research the project, understand what a blockchain is, difference between exchange vs wallet, all those things). Boring, I know but seriously! Super important.
Be smart about your researching process. I mean, you can still earn a bit of crypto without spending money. Sure you won’t become rich from that but a bit of crypto is better than no crypto. Brave browser gives you a bit of rewards (tiny, almost nothing but it’s something + it’s better than chrome when it comes to your own privacy). Presearch is a very interesting project and it gives you PRE tokens everytime you search something online. Coinbase has its program called coinbase earn where you can be elegible to watch super short videos, answer some questions and then if you answer correctly you get rewarded. I made 34€ from that and it ended up becoming 100€ in less than a week (don’t expect the same outcome since the market is volatile and each project behaves differently, but it was to show you that a small amount can still be scaled up) Coinmarketcap also has a reward program like coinbase, to get the rewards you need to be registered in Binance. Crypto.com gives you rewards if you stake a certain amount of CRO tokens, cool thing is you can ask for their debit card that gives you cashback AND they also give you other cool stuff (like free spotify, netflix... depending on the tier of your card). Also!!! Publish0x, amazing place, my fave. It’s basically where you get to read articles about crypto AND get crypto when you tip -an the tip is from their pool so that means absolutely no cost for you! (you win cents but you get free crypto and get to learn more about it! win win). links that i shared are affiliated, we both get rewards if you use them
Move your money around, ideally now you’ve gotten a few dollars from the rewards i told you. Don’t leave everything scattered! Decide on a project that you’ve looked up and like and trade the free tokens for the token/coin of your interest. You can be adventurous if you want, at the end of the day it’s not money you had before so if you happen to lose it all, you stay exactly the same as when you started. Technically you don’t lose. This will be like a test run, and it will help you feel more encouraged.
When you feel ready to put your own money in remember don’t invest more than you’re willing to lose. My mentality is: money that i invest is money i automatically lose. This allows me to be comfortable, because i know no matter what happens I’m not in need of that money. I’d rather build my portfolio slowly than put all my savings and lose it on a bad and uninformed decision.
Have someone you can go to and ask questions. This will make you feel a bit more at peace (I can be that person). Also! don’t FOMO into projects.
There’s looots more to cover, I could go into creating your own investing plan, I could discuss which are good projects to check, could explain what the blockchain is, difference between token and coin, could go into technical analysis... but I believe smaller doses of crypto is way better than everything at once (also that wouldn’t fit in only one answer haha). If you have any other question don’t doubt to come to me again!
disclaimer: I’m not a financial adviser and this is not financial advice! just a girl sharing her opinions and bit of knowledge on the topic as educational material. Always, always do your own research.
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All We’ve Got is Time - Chapter Fourteen | B.B.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
AU: If They’d Survived/Post-War/Window Washer!Bucky Barnes
Rating: Teen
Word count: 4,000
Chapter 14/24
Warnings: Language. Flashback to a traumatic event from Bucky’s time of service that is fairly upsetting. If you’d rather skip it, do not read the italicized text at the end of this chapter.
AN: This chapter took so much out of me, I’m not going to lie. For sure, the majority of it is good feelings and fluff. But I spent a lot of time crying over this, I felt like my heart was bleeding. Please take the warning to heart, I don’t want anyone to go through any sort of anguish without a little bit of preparation. Chapter 15 is going to be a rough ride as well, just a heads up. The good news is that I’m back on my original posting schedule, woohoo! Returning to posting every other Thursday unless something changes again. I love you.
Chapter Thirteen
‘All We’ve Got is Time’ Masterlist
Saturday afternoon at Grand Central Station was tantamount to pure chaos, but you didn’t much mind since you’re there for a singularly joyful reason. The hubbub of both weary and excited travelers echoes across the cavernous main concourse; you can barely hear yourself think. People from all walks of life bustle around while you hover in the agreed-upon spot, waiting for a particular train to get in.
For the fourth time in 20 minutes you check the giant chalkboard along the main wall to confirm the train’s time of arrival before consulting your watch.
Soon.
Somewhere in the last 34 days you had become the girl that ran to her mailbox each day after work with hopes of hearing from her beau. A girl that missed that boy more every moment he was away, life feeling dull in his absence. A girl that was a hopeless goner. A goner who had had to scrap more than one letter because she’d written Love, Sixth Floor or All My Love, or Love you! No one had told you how difficult love letters were to write without using the word ‘love’.
As you scrambled out your door in a rush to the train station not too long ago, you’d practically run over your unfortunate mailman. He’d had a letter for you - from Pennsylvania - and he chuckled as you couldn’t contain the giant smile on your face. Even he knew what a goner you were.
You’d plopped yourself on the front steps of your apartment and torn open the envelope, reading the letter three times before you walked mooney-eyed to the station, the paper still in hand. His words reverberated in your mind. You snort at the mental image of Peggy throwing herself over a table to maul Steve to death after he’d charged her an exorbitant amount of rent during Monopoly. He said he longed for New York because you were here. Bucky adored that you got along with his family, said you fit in seamlessly. He thanked you for things that were so natural you didn’t even realize you were doing them.
Again your eyes settle on your favorite line - “You’re so familiar to my life now, I can hardly imagine a time when you weren’t in it.” Delicately you trace the word Bucky had written before your nickname - darling - then run a finger over his soothing scrawl of ‘Your Window Washer’.
There were moments when you forgot how this had all begun. How you’d noticed a handsome window washer going about his duty, how he’d gone out of his way to interact with you, to make you smile. The moments you’d tried to connect and had barely missed one another. He really had been your window washer from the start, hadn’t he? You just hadn’t known it.
Your ears prickle to attention when they hear your name ringing clearly in the severely crowded area. Looking up from the letter your eyes rove the crowd as you shove it into your pocket.
Bright, sparkling eyes meet your own across the room.
Eyes that were attached to Bucky’s thousand-watt smile. He looks tired from the journey, but only someone who knew him as well as you could tell. With his suitcase in one hand and his jacket draped over the other arm, he cocked his hat at an incorrect yet very suave angle.
With several trains having just arrived, the concourse was rapidly becoming busier. Passengers exiting the rail cars took up almost all elbow-room available, ending in a flood of people between you and Bucky.
Taking several rushed steps through the hoarde you head in his general direction, continuously searching for that hat a head above the crowd. One moment you saw it, the next you were stuck in a crush of travelers. Finally there were only a few paces between you.
You hear the clunk of his suitcase hitting the ground a split second before your feet are swept from under you, Bucky’s arms strong and secure around your waist. He takes a superfluous little twirl around, pulling a relieved giggle from you. Feeling his heart beating against your chest shockingly sent the peaceful feeling of HOME thrumming through your veins. You didn’t know it was possible to feel home in a person.
Bucky heaves a sigh, one that reminds you of a house settling after a long day of activity. A hand smooths up your back and to the nape of your neck, sending tingles down your spine. When you feel his lips press delicately to the side of your head you’re grateful he’s got a hold on you because you’re fairly certain your knees would’ve given out. For all the affection you doted upon each other, none had ever felt quite so intimate, so. . . tender.
“People are staring,” you whisper in his ear.
He pulls back, granting you a view of that rugged face you’d so dearly missed over the past month. “Don’t care,” he smarts. Then he kisses you properly, scandalizing the old ladies walking past - hell, he was even scandalizing you a bit.
“Okay Romeo,” you lean away, laughing when his lips attempt to chase yours. “Let’s not make any grandparents roll over in their graves with our excessive public displays of affection.”
With that he snorts before reluctantly setting you back on your feet, though not taking his hands from you. He doesn’t say much, just gazes into your eyes. Almost as if he was guzzling a glass of water after having gone days feeling parched, he takes you in, seeming more nourished as the seconds ticked by.
“What, do I have some lunch left on my face?”
There’s that wide grin you love so much. Bucky runs the backs of his knuckles along your jaw and murmurs, “Oh yeah, I missed you a ton.” His head dips down once more, gracing you with a kiss so ardent it steals your breath. A firm hand to his chest separates you and you remind him to behave.
He only laughs heartily and stoops down to retrieve his luggage and hat you’d apparently knocked off during your embrace. You hang his jacket over one of your arms, looping the other around his elbow. Together you walk out of Grand Central and onto the New York streets, feeling like a piece of you had just been restored.
-x-
Over the following weeks, you and Bucky are rarely apart from each other. If you aren’t sleeping or working, you’re together. Suffice it to say, absence had definitely made the heart grow fonder. During those days there was a near-imperceptible but also impossible-to-miss shift between you. In the moments of intense relief of being reunited, the gravity of the relationship dawned upon you. You wonder if you would ever have reached that point if not for the distance and time away forced upon you.
There was a particular night you truly felt the relationship deepen. August was quickly coming to a close, a sense of change coming in the air in the mornings and evenings. It was a Thursday. You and Bucky had generously - well, at the time it had felt generous, but it turned out to bear more likeness to disastrous - offered to cook dinner for the pair of you as well as Peggy and Steve. The other couple was extremely kind about the ordeal, but it had been a mess and barely edible. Thankfully there was plenty of wine and laughter around the table to make up for it.
Having set your eyes on cleaning up the remnants of your destruction of the boys’ kitchen, you were promptly shooed away by Peggy.
“No, no - you cooked for us, we’ll clean the dishes,” she commanded, practically booting you into the living room.
You collapse onto the couch with a huff, not having realized how much time you’d spent standing in the kitchen over a meal that was most definitely not worth the effort. Without much grace Bucky plopped down next to you, head knocking against the back of the sofa, hand searching for yours.
“I really am sorry, Bucky, I told you Mom hadn’t passed down her exceptional cooking skills to me.”
“Don’t worry about it. I have a thing or two I can teach you,” he winks before closing his eyes.
“Although I do feel like we owe Peggy and Steve some sort of tangible apology for making them sit through that.”
He waves his free hand flippantly. “They’ll be fine, they’re big kids. Be thankful you weren’t around for Peg’s burnt pot roast debacle. I don’t think I’ll ever see angrier tears again in my life.”
The faint sound of running water from the kitchen combined with the clattering of dishes signals that Steve and Peggy were no doubt side by side in front of the sink, shirt sleeves rolled up and out of the way, bumping elbows in their homey little chore. Bucky talks about his work in the garage while idly flipping pages of a textbook he’d placed in his lap. He dutifully asks after your coworkers, expresses genuine care and concern for them which never fails to warm your heart.
A hum of conversation floats into the room and you give in to your exhaustion slightly, dropping your head to Bucky’s shoulder. “Are they okay? Sounds serious.”
“Work stuff,” he mumbles. “Not that you hadn’t guessed it, but they have a hard time leaving it in the office. Which is understandable considering what they do.” Bucky shifts his arm up, offering you a place to wiggle beneath it, nice and cozy in his side.
“Mmm, saving the world and all. I mean, at least it sounds like a better talk than the one we walked in on after the baseball game.”
“That was definitely a doozy. Apparently it turned out okay and they seem to be better off because of it. Steve said something about how getting everything out into the open always suited them better than keeping feelings to themselves.”
“Makes sense, I suppose. So tell me what your latest lesson is about, maybe I can help.” Bucky pours over paperwork he’d retrieved from the desk in his room, calling attention to marks he’d made on diagrams that had confused him, underlining terms for which he had a hard time finding definitions. For quite a while you work like that on the couch, listening, pointing things out, doing your best to help where you could and encourage where you couldn’t.
You hadn’t noticed how heavy your eyes had gotten until Peggy’s voice fills the room, causing you to bolt into sitting upright again. “You better leave soon or the neighbors will start talking,” she halfway teases before offering a graceful wave; both you and Bucky mutter goodbyes.
“I’m leaving soon, I promise,” you call out before the front door clicks shut as Steve and Peggy step outside for a moment to themselves.
Minutes later Steve comes back down the hallway, sleepily bidding you both goodnight before slinking to his bedroom.
“Ugh, the walk home is going to be horrible. We waited way too late tonight.”
“I know, I know,” Bucky sighs. “Just listen to my essay about the benefits of having a key-based ignition in the future and then I’ll take ya home.”
“Okay,” you agree, eyes drooping as you focus on his steady tone.
The next thing you know, a door squeaks open. A few heavy footsteps move in your direction and you hear Steve murmur, “Oh.”
You squint one eye, then the other open against the sunlight streaming through the living room windows. Looking around, your confusion only heightens when you realize you’re in the boys’ apartment. Moving to prop up on an elbow you glance to your side to see Bucky fast asleep on the couch, his shirt rumpled from where your face had just been plastered. A pile of textbooks and sheets of paper is in disarray around Bucky’s feet. Steve was standing in the doorway from the kitchen, looking slightly uncomfortable and a little worried in his blue striped cotton pajama set peeking from under his robe.
Swiping a hand across your eyes you realize with dismay that you’re still wearing makeup, which is now smeared all over your face. “What. . . what time is it?” you groan.
Steve looks to the clock on the wall. “Uhh. . . a little after eight.”
“Well that’s not so bad for a Saturday.”
“It’s. . . it’s Friday.”
“SHIT!” you clamber to your feet.
Your exclamation startles Bucky awake, looking as disoriented as you felt and extremely bothered by the anxiety you’re radiating.
“Oh my gosh, this is horrible, this’ll ruin me - we slept together!”
Bucky looks down at his mussed clothing hurriedly before confirming everything was where it had been the previous night. “Well, technically-”
“Shut it,” you snap as you dart around the apartment. “I stayed overnight in your home, society doesn’t care about technicalities. Oh my god, I’m going to be late for work by the time I get back to my apartment to change clothes. Flannery is either going to kill me or worse, fire me - WHERE ARE MY DAMN SHOES!”
“I’m gonna start a pot of coffee,” Steve says to Bucky before slipping from the room.
“Baby, take a breath-”
“I don’t even have time for that, why didn’t I just go home early last night? Where did I put my purse?”
“Honey, it’s gonna be okay, will you stop for a minute?”
Eyes wide you spin to him, arms thrust out. “How is this going to be okay? Debbie probably worried about me all night AND she’s going to think I’m easy for staying at my boyfriend’s so she probably won’t want to live with me anymore-”
Suddenly Bucky’s hands grip your shoulders, forcing you to a stop. “Hey,” he says firmly, yet with a touch of gentleness. “You’re gonna call Debbie right now and tell her it was too late last night, so you slept over at Peggy’s. Would it be worse to show up to work late or not go in at all?”
“Probably show up late, she’s a stickler for punctuality,” you squeak, heart still beating out of your chest.
“Then call in sick after you talk to your roommate. You’ve been a model employee, even Flannery knows people get sick sometimes. Take another deep breath for me - there ya go. No one has to know that we accidentally fell asleep on the couch, Steve’s not gonna say anything to anyone, okay?”
You only nod, too focused on stopping the hyperventilating.
“You’re alright, c’mere.” Drawing you into his chest, you press your forehead into it, willing your tense muscles to relax. “I’m due at Harvey’s garage today, how about you come with me? I know he’d love to see you and it’d feel good to be working together again, right? We can stop by your place on our way over so you can change. How does that sound?”
Even amid the panic a part of your heart keened at the comfort Bucky was providing, at the feeling of being cared for.
A few minutes later, your relieved roommate and a surprisingly sympathetic Flannery had been called and placated. After you’d calmed down, Steve offers you coffee and cereal while Bucky changes into the coveralls Harvey had given him; Steve threatened Bucky that if he skipped breakfast again, he’d tell Winnifred.
Before you know it you’re in the garage, playfully sticking out your tongue at Harvey’s teasing about playing hookie. You forget how much working with your hands brings you peace until you’re doing it again - the stress wound in your back eases as you help Bucky on a tune-up. With a hip propped on the front of the car, you watch as Bucky follows the checklist, testing the functions of various parts to make sure they’re up to snuff.
For the first time that tumultuous morning you take a look at the man next to you. What you see sends a ripple of unease through your gut. Even though you’d both slept like the dead last night, the dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced than they should have been and you find yourself mentally going over the last few days to remember if they were there earlier. With only his health in mind, you notice the coveralls are little looser than when he’d first tried them on for you.
“Bucky,” you ask. He hums in question from beneath the hood. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine, why?”
“I’m not trying to make conversation, I really want to know if you’re okay. You look tired. Well, you’ve been looking tired.”
He straightens and arches a sardonic brow. “That your way of saying I look ugly today?”
“Stop it, I’m being serious.”
“I mean, I feel tired but it’s been busy. Nothing different than usual.”
“Are you sleeping?”
“Enough.” He wipes grease from his hands before shutting the hood, evading your eyes.
“So that’s a no on sleeping. Between two jobs and school, you’re going to run yourself ragged.”
“School’s almost over.”
“You still have two more months!”
There’s a flash of emotion in his eyes you can’t quite identify before he consciously smooths it over. “I’m fine, doll. Really. I just. . .” You wait patiently. You almost think he’s not going to finish when he says, “I wanna work hard and do this right. All this is so I can have a better life. . . and so you can have one too.” He finally turns his eyes back to yours. “I’m afraid that if I don’t give this all I have, I won’t be good enough to pull it off. And I really want this to work.”
Internally you debate with yourself. More than anything you want to reassure him, to soothe him, to fix all his fears and problems. But there’s also a part of you reminding yourself that that’s not your job. It’s Bucky’s life, not yours. The last thing you wanted was to become a nag and drive him further away.
You smile and drop the matter, hoping he’d take your concern gracefully. The rest of the day you work in semi-comfortable silence, each tip-toeing around the other and the subject.
That night, Bucky tosses and turns, your conversation playing over in his head. Maybe he’d been too harsh, maybe he should have been more gentle. Maybe he should take your advice and stop washing windows. But another voice (one that smacks of his father) pushes back, insists that all the work was necessary if he wants to be successful, to have a brighter future.
Finally, he drifts into a restless sleep, the all-consuming thoughts of a better life for himself and for you finally fading. Or so he thought.
-x-
Cold. Cold cold cold. He’d been on that fucking hill for hours with his belly buried in dirt, waiting. Waiting waiting waiting. Funny how this job required hours of waiting and only seconds of action.
Eyes slant to the watch he’d taken off and propped up on a stone. Nine minutes to go. Willing feeling to return to his hands, he flexed his grip on the familiar weapon he’d been cradling for hours.
To calm his mind, he runs the math again - latitude, wind speed, relative motion. Check, check, check.
The radio laying in the reeds buzzed softly with the other Commandos reporting in, just loud enough for him to hear.
“He’s on the move, Barnes,” Jones relayed from his post across the street from the church, of which Bucky had a clear line of sight from his position. Bucky leans in, one eye shut against the world so he could zero in through his scope.
The target appeared in the shadows of the doorway. Schmidt’s rumored new right-hand-man, Karl Fischer, almost as psychotic as Hydra’s leader. Falsworth had been able to get chummy with some of his men over drinks the night before, learn the faction was storing weapons in the sanctuary’s basement. Parishioners had shared that their priest had mysteriously disappeared after refusing to agree to the commander’s demands last week.
Bucky knew that the individual he watched confer with Fischer was by no means a man of God, unless priests now walked around with crooked collars and Hydra weaponry stashed in their back waistband.
The conspirators shake hands before leaning in to undoubtedly whisper two words that he had grown to loathe as they were murmured over him dozens of times while he lay strapped to an operating table in Azzano.
They pull apart and the target takes one step down the stairs.
Bucky’s finger holds tension tight on the trigger.
Two steps.
There’s a thought nibbling at the back of his mind. Begging for attention. But there’s no time.
Three steps.
The rifle’s kickback slams into his shoulder as his eye remains trained on the commotion in his scope.
Bucky blinks.
Fischer was still standing.
Had he missed? Were his calculations off? He fires again and finally sees the wretched man crumble. Then Bucky sees the other form on the ground and his stomach drops.
He hadn’t missed. Not totally.
Radio and watch forgotten on the ground he bolts for the trees, for the Harley he’d stashed beneath fallen branches before the sun had come up.
The rest of the Commandos were following the plan, corralling Fischer’s cronies before they could spread news of their leader’s demise.
Dugan shouts something at him as he speeds into the square, all but leaping off the bike when he nears the church.
Bucky’s presence perturbed Steve; if Bucky was here, something was wrong. Stepping over the score of soldiers he’d already managed to incapacitate for the time being, he rushed to meet his friend.
“Buck, what’re you-”
He ducked a shoulder into Steve - which was more like hitting a brick wall - to move past him to the church steps.
Heavy footfalls take him over the long-dead Fischer to the small body one stair above him where Bucky comes to kneel.
Her hair was dark, like his sisters’. She was young like them too. Except he’d never seen this much blood from one of their scraped knees.
A local. Had probably been praying inside before she went about the rest of her day. The overturned basket with meager rations strewn down the steps taunted him.
Bucky struggled to make sense of what happened. Fischer must have slipped or perhaps had a premonition and used her as a shield right as the shot had been fired.
A shot that had taken a blameless life. Bucky’s shot.
He wasn’t naive. He knew every action taken by each soldier sent ripple effects that altered the lives of many - but he’d never been face-to-face with the outright consequence of his profession.
Being so focused on Fischer, he hadn’t even noticed another person in the vicinity. And this young woman he held - when had he started holding her? - had paid the price for it.
Gradually Bucky became aware of Steve’s insistent tugging on his shoulder.
If they broke down over every innocent caught in the crossfire they would all have lost their minds by now. Everyone had to harden that part of themselves - not for convenience, but for survival. Bucky thought he’d mastered the act, but this girl couldn’t be much older than Evie.
“Steve, I-” Bucky sees his anguish reflected in the blue eyes of his best friend.
“I know, Buck. I’m sorry. But they’ve got her.”
Suddenly he’s sees the other villagers surrounding them, grief tracking down their cheeks. Reaching to take her away from him, to weep and mourn this sweet loved one whose time on earth was finished.
Staggering to his feet, Bucky swayed at the blood covering his clothing. Steve steadied him with an iron grip on his arm, a hand to his back.
“Mea culpa,” Bucky whispers against the wind, the sight of her unmoving eyes burning into his memory.
She wasn’t getting a better life. Why should he?
Chapter Fifteen
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#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes reader insert#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes series#All We've Got is Time#AWGIT#Chapter Fourteen#beka writes
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Get to Know my Characters... featuring Mollie Milton
01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?
Mollie is named after her mother, who passed giving birth to her. The name means “star of the sea” and was given to their mother because she was born in a small, seaside town.
02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?
Mollie doesn’t like her body. She does not hide it well, and is easily brought to tears by innocent remarks.
03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves?
Her eyes, because she shares the color with her mother and sister.
04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)
He’s smart and he’s got abs for days.
05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type?
Definitely very shy. She’s only had the one lover, and she still does not feel confident with sex.
06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?
Her partner will never understand her obsession with shopping, but doesn’t find it annoying.
07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?
“Like” (I’m sighing internally, thinking of writing all this dialogue with like in it) Her sister teases her about it, so she knows it happens, but she doesn’t realize it at the time.
08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?
She’s very untrusting. She won’t make that mistake again. She’s aware of it, but doesn’t see it as a flaw.
09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday?
She loves summer, but her favorite holiday is Christmas.
10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?
Feminine
11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?
Anyone messing with her sister.
12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up?
Painting. It’s her way out of the world.
13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker?
Mollie has always slept like a log. She’s been known to sleep talk, and more than once has pushed her partner out of the bed.
14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates?
She lives with her sister, whom she loves more than anyone else in the world.
15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear.
(redacted)
16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like?
She loves yoga and ballet, the latter of which she does not participate in, just watches.
17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children?
Maybe one day, but for now she’s happy as is.
18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode?
She never wants to leave the place she grew up, either.
19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily?
Mollie will start a fight in a heartbeat over the right topic. But not a physical one, just verbal. And she is stubborn as hell, so she’s always going to get the last word.
20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures?
She’s not crazy about animals, but is considering letting her sister get that cat… as long as she never has to clean the litter.
21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear?
(redacted)
22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?
She has freckles like her sister and father. She also has several tattoos.
23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved?
Mollie hated school, and spent most of it trailing behind her sister.
24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like?
“I mean have you like… seen him? He’s so hot, ohmygosh. I cannot believe how handsome this guy is… and tall. And he wants to be with me?! Pffft. How’d I get so lucky? And not only is he hot, but he’s got the brains to boot. Mmm.”
25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day?
(redacted)
26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc?
He’s patient, but passionate.
27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it?
(redacted)
28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for?
Her paintings. And she hopes to get there one day.
29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one?
(redacted)
30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?
She loves listening to music while she paints. And she enjoys joining her sister for plays sometimes.
31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what?
(redacted)
32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do?
A dinner in a fancy restaurant, followed by a walk near a river or lake.
33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go?
Her art studio.
34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc)
Don’t even mention chocolate to this girl unless you’re willing to share.
35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go?
She is. She wants to go quickly, however she does.
36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life?
No, Mollie is healthy.
37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them?
She doesn’t like the sound of people drumming their fingers on a surface, or long nails clicking on things. She also can’t stand the sound of flip flops smacking, which is ironic given her favorite season.
38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc?
Sunshine and blue skies, baby.
39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct?
People might look at Mollie and think she is a dopey blonde, but they would be very wrong.
40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?
No, Mollie is very open with her likes and dislikes.
41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way?
Absolutely.
42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change?
Oh, more than you could ever know…. Until the story comes out, that is.
43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self?
She’s really shy around strangers, but once you get to know her you’ll see how cheery, smart, and sweet she is.
44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character?
Seeing (redacted) again.
45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?
She hides her emotions very well.
46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?
Draws circles on his back with her fingers.
47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along?
The quiet one, for sure.
48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious?
Yes, she really hates when other women touch her partner while talking to him.
49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?
(redacted)
50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?
“Really? You… really feel that way? Oh, Mollie..”
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“What’s a good conversion rate for my landing page?” [New AI-Backed Research]
Imagine you’re an ecommerce business using landing pages to sell sweaters for miniature pigs. Recently, you’ve done a round of A/B testing—adding a little more oink to your calls to action, let’s say—and tweaked your social ad targeting to reach the hardcore piggy people on Instagram.
After all your optimization efforts, your landing pages now convert at 3.57%.
But actually…even if it’s a big improvement against your personal baseline, how do you know you should stop there? How do you know that your hard-earned conversion rate is worth celebrating? Heck, how would you even know if a 30% conversion rate is any good for pages in your industry? (Maybe everyone’s getting a fat return off of pig sweaters but you.)
It’s hard to be confident in the numbers when you don’t know how everybody else is doing. Doubt settles in. Maybe you’re missing out on reaching your conversion potential without even knowing it.
Well, we feel your pain. That’s why, at Unbounce, we’re on a continuing mission to answer the big question for you. It’s the one we hear time and again from our customers:
“What’s a good, bad, or average conversion rate for my landing pages?”
That’s where industry benchmarks come in—and that’s why we’re thrilled to bring you a fresh (and free) new version of our Conversion Benchmark Report.
Benchmarks can energize your digital marketing strategy in three big ways:
They’re a form of competitive intelligence. They help you identify gaps between your performance and what the rest of your industry considers to be a good conversion rate.
Our benchmarks reveal data-supported best practices, and you’ll waste less time and traffic testing unproven optimizations that our machine learning analysis shows don’t necessarily work.
They help you build a culture of continuous improvement in your organization. It’s harder for your marketing team to be happy with “just okay” if they’re seeing something to strive for.
Sure, some folks like to pooh-pooh industry benchmarking—“Why should I care how other marketers are converting? Why don’t I just focus on how I’m doing?”—but they’re your best window into what success really looks like. Going forward blindly, when you could have both eyes on the prize, is just silly.
Oh, and these benchmarks were generated with help from an honest-to-goodness AI crunching millions of conversions, so the results are far more reliable than the anecdotal best practices often found online. As part of the Unbounce Conversion Intelligence approach to digital marketing, these machine-derived insights help you pair your hard-earned expertise with AI to create the highest-converting campaigns of your career.
Introducing the 2020 Conversion Benchmark Report
This year’s Conversion Benchmark Report uses machine learning to assist our data team in analyzing 186.9 million visits to 34,132 Unbounce-built landing pages. In terms of sample size, we analyzed more visits to these pages than the populations of Canada, Hong Kong, Mexico, Laos, and Ireland combined.
For full context, the previous (2017) version of this report was also built on machine learning insights, but in three years we’ve refined our approach to provide tons more real, proprietary customer data to feed the machine. Now we have even better, more reliable outputs—as well as a few new ways to break down our findings, like by conversion goal. (These are boundaries we’re going to keep pushing, too.)
But what kind of info does the report contain? For one thing, you’ll find median conversion rates broken down to 16 key industries. In many cases, we’ve got wide enough sample sizes to sort them into subcategories too, so you can see how your brother’s pest control service measures up against your sister’s HVAC company. (Or how your uncle’s cybersecurity software converts against your great aunt’s cloud accounting platform.)
The Conversion Benchmark Report includes 16 industries broken down into dozens of subcategories.
Why do we report on median instead of average (mean)? Our goal is to provide you with a realistic picture of where you stand, so this year’s report lists median conversion rates as our measure of central tendency instead of the mean. We found this reduces the impact of outliers (like pages that convert five times better than the rest) on the final benchmarks.
Not clear enough? Then imagine you want to find out, on average, how many eyes people have. The median tells us they have two eyes. According to the mean, though, they have slightly less than two. Because outliers (people with one or fewer eyes) bring that number down.
Both these measures are correct, but which one would you prefer to rely on if your business is selling sunglasses?
What if your industry doesn’t appear in the report? For this year’s report, we’ve tried to be even more representative. With machine learning helping us to sort thousands of landing pages in a logical way, we’ve increased the number of industries covered from 10 to 16, and we’ve even added subcategories whenever sample sizes allow.
If you still don’t see yourself represented, though, compare your conversion rates to industries with similar audiences and conversion goals. While we don’t actually recommend comparisons between very unrelated industries (except for fun), let your judgment be your guide.
A note on COVID-19. The conversion data in this report comes from 2019, so we realize it shows norms that have been disrupted for some vulnerable industries—like travel, events and leisure, restaurants, and medical practitioners. These benchmarks show what you can expect in stable periods, and they provide insights about how your visitors typically behave (and why they convert). We hope they’ll help you set up your digital campaigns for success—and inspire your rebound.
If you face uncertainty, though, please also check out the COVID-19 Small Business Care Package for a roundup of useful resources to help lessen the impact on your business.
Below, I go into more detail about the findings and insights we’ve been able to pull from them. But if you’ve got an itchy mouse-finger, you can jump right into the Conversion Benchmark Report now. (It’ll open in a new tab.)
Going beyond the benchmarks
Benchmarks are tremendously helpful, for all the reasons I talked about above. (If you work for an agency, you know this already. They’re a baller way of showing the value of what you do—and helping clients determine their true conversion potential.)
How do I best communicate with my target audience?
In copywriting circles, the received wisdom is that clarity comes above all else. If you’re looking to put up the fewest hurdles possible between audience and offer, it can make sense to keep your vocabulary basic and your sentences tight and untangled.
Our data, however, complicates this equation. Is simple always better? Nope. It turns out that different industries tend to convert more often at different reading levels (and some see weaker relationships between conversion rates and readability than others).
There are even cases in which it’s good to sound sophisticated. B2B companies offering lead-gen consulting or instruction, for instance, appear to benefit from more challenging language. We see a drop in conversion rates as pages become easier to understand. (Frankly, that’s not what we expected.)
When it comes to reading ease, pages for lead-gen consultants appear to benefit from being harder to read.
Our machine learning analysis enabled us to look at copy from 34 thousand pages. Each page is assigned a Flesch reading ease score based on the average number of syllables per word and words per sentence. More syllables and more words means more…harder.
Here’s roughly how the scoring breaks down:
What’s the perf word length for my landing pages?
While it’s true that shorter pages tend to convert better, many industries have sweet spots that break the rule—which means, if you’re going to create a long-form landing page, you should go this long. This is especially true in the wild territories beyond 200 words, where unexpected correlations between length and conversion rate have led many a marketer astray.
At what length do landing pages for family services convert best? The graph provides answers.
Depending on your offer and industry, you may find that you need to use more words to get your point across, but graphs like the one above can let you know what’s ideal. For family services, that’s 300-500 words (if you can’t get it shorter than 150 words). For other industries, it can be more or less. Whatever the case, creating variants based on our findings can definitely be a good candidate for A/B testing or Smart Traffic.
What emotions might relate to better conversion rates?
You likely know in your gut that people’s feelings can impact their decision to buy, but which ones actually drive conversions on your landing pages? To find out, we ran an ML-powered sentiment analysis that looked at emotion-associated words that might relate to healthy conversion rates—and which might even be slowing you down.
(Spoiler: using trust words isn’t always advisable. “Trust us.”)
For SaaS, the concentration of anticipation words on a landing page correlates with its conversion rate.
When it comes to SaaS conversions, for instance, it turns out that language that conveys anticipation (words like gradual, highest, improve, and launch) sometimes correlates with better conversion rates. Or, to put it another way: as we find more of these words, we also often tend to see better conversion performance.
You can explore this example, and many others, in the report.
A good conversion rate is one you can improve upon.
When it comes down to brass tacks, all this benchmarking is valuable insofar as you can use it to build a better conversion machine from what you learn. How do you do it?
Explore the insights in this report. The report is broken down into 16 industries. How are your landing pages stacking up against the baseline? Are you way out ahead? Are you falling behind? Start with your industry, sure, but take a look at others too. There may be insights that are worth exploring outside your own arena.
Apply the data learnings to your own campaigns. Create a variant (or more than one variant) of your page that applies some of the insights we’ve provided. For example, you might dial down the jargon until you hit the optimal Flesch reading score. (You can use the free readability formula tool here to test it for yourself.)
Optimize and test. Keep in mind that data analysis reveals trends and tendencies rather than absolutes. You’re making informed decisions when you apply these learnings, but testing is still your best way to confirm. Run A/B tests or, if you’re short on the time or traffic to do so, just publish your variants and turn on Smart Traffic in the Unbounce Builder. It’ll use machine learning to automatically decide which variant is right for which visitors, and it’s otherwise hands-off. (If you’re looking for more ideas on how to build variants, I’d recommend this post from Garrett too.)
In short, this year’s report uses ML to identify opportunities you simply couldn’t spot without the processing power of a machine. Optimizing your pages doesn’t have to be aspirational. We believe this is the future of digital marketing—and, going forward, you’re going to see more and more efforts like this from Unbounce to help you enhance the skills you already have. (If you’re curious about what else we have planned, you can read more about our push to bring you Conversion Intelligence.)
Whether you sell pig sweaters, chicken harnesses, or something altogether more practical—are you confident enough to swagger into your next meeting, snap your suspenders, fire those finger-guns in your boss’s direction, and let everyone know about your team’s big win? “Soooooooo-ie!”
Take a gander at the 2020 Conversion Benchmark Report, and let us know what you think in the comments below.
from Marketing https://unbounce.com/conversion-rate-optimization/what-is-a-good-conversion-rate/
via http://www.rssmix.com/
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Get to know My OC-Suzie Q
Get to know my character
Doing this for My OC Suzanna, of The Walking Dead.
01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? I picked Suzanna (spelled with a z because I thought it looked cool) because I liked that Negan would call her Suzie Q.
02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness? Sex lbr,Sue isn’t above being seduced,or doing the seducing either. But only around Merle,Negan or The Governor,who can easily get her to do what they want and they know this.
03. Something they like about themselves? Her Strength and resilience.
04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical) I’ll start with her first boyfriend Merle Dixon,who she had been with since before the turn.
Mentally: Would have to be Merle’s humor (crude or not),how he flirts (with her anyway),his cockiness,How protective he is and how unpredictable.
Physically: I mean Merle may not be everyone’s cup of tea (or bottle of whisky) but with those baby blue eyes,that mischievous grin,those arms and that swagger,he sure is Sue’s. Oh did I forget to mention she has an older man kink? ;)
Next would be Suzanna’s other lover,who she met in Woodbury,of course I mean Philip Blake aka The Governor.
Mentally: Suzanna was attracted to his intelligence,his quiet confidence,leadership qualities and that mysterious aura he seemed to have around him.
Physically: That smile,those eyes,his body isn’t half bad either,but it’s his charm and darkness that really attracts her.
Now onto her current lover Negan,leader of The Saviors. How she met him is a tad more complicated...
Mentally: Suzie loves his confidence,humor,and leadership skills,as well as his growth as a person. To her Negan is almost like Merle and Philip rolled into one.
Physically: I mean Negan is hot,anyone can see that! Especially when he first showed up,those Daddy good looks coupled with that swagger and dangerous smirk. Yeah Suzie definitely fell for him,even when she tried not too.
05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type? Definitely Confident. Though she didn’t have much experience until she met Merle.
06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying? lol it’s the zombie apocalypse,what hobbies? Sue’s men are pretty open to whatever she likes,especially Negan since she met him after the turn where pretty much anything goes.
07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)? No though she tends to steal some of Negan’s phrases like ‘Easy Peasy’
08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it? Um the fact that she has no self control lol maybe because of the fact that she grew up in a religious household. Her weakness for the bad boys,or worse.
09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? NOT Summer or Winter since they’ve almost died during both. Maybe Autumn or Spring. Holiday,what’s that? They don’t even know what YEAR it is now let alone day.
10. Is your character more feminine or masculine? A mixture of both.
11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage? Well her bloodlust kinda kicked in after being with Negan,besides that probably being pushed by one of Negan’s Wives and having her loyalty questioned.
12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up? Her Survival instincts & fighting skills,give those up and she might as well be Walker food.
13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker? She’s a light sleeper anymore and has a hard time sleeping on her own.
14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates? Suzie was adopted by Hershal as a young Teen,after the zombie apocalypse happened she got separated from her family and traveled with The Dixon’s where they found a camp,she got separated after reuniting with her family,where she met Michonne,they traveled together until Woodbury where she found Merle again. After that whole thing with The Governor and Rick’s group,Sue went into hiding,until she found out she was pregnant and went to find Rick,Daryl and the rest. They traveled together and finally settled in Alexandria,until The Saviors came and after much bloodshed and fighting,Sue joined them,becoming Negan’s wife.
15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear. Not really,though her and Philip did not end on good terms and she really cannot stand Simon.
16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like? lol Definitely more of The Athletic type now. She was super girly when Merle first met her.
17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children? Technically she is married to Negan and she has two children.
18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? She really doesn’t care as long as her family is with her.
19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily? She tended to avoid them as a Teen,letting her BFF take the lead,but now yeah she can be pretty hot headed and the only time she caves in is when it’s one of her men.
20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures? Dogs all the way.
21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear? Losing her children,like she lost her family and Merle.
22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? Other then her hair changing from Blonde to Brown constantly,no.
23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved? Sue didn’t really like school but her parents were strict so she had to maintain straight A’s.
24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? Personality wise? Since she’s currently with Negan,I’ll just describe him. I’d say to the outside world he’s Smart,A leader,Dangerous,unpredictable,cocky and self assured. To Suzie (and later on when he loses everything) he still is all those things,especially when they first meet,but he’s more open with her,serious and has his morals,he won't hurt or kill children or those that he feels don’t deserve it and he doesn’t rape either,Negan also has deep rooted pain from losing his wife Lucille.
25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day? I would say losing Merle,Her Father and a sister in Beth still effects her a bit, Also almost dying at the hands of her former lover (Who also killed her Father and Merle)
26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc? I made A-Z NSFW Headcanons for The Governor and Merle already,I might make one for Negan as well,but their are already really good ones of him out there!
27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it? Well there really isn’t any law anymore but before the turn it would probably be for doing something stupid with Merle like underage drinking.
28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for? lol idk maybe acting.
29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one? Almost sacrificed her life.
30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like? Not much in the way of tv now,but before she liked watching Zombie and B Horror movies,also going out to parties,and listening to her sister Beth sing,watching Wrestling with Daryl and his GF,her BFF,Carol Lynn,dressing up to go out with Merle,she still likes Decorating,Negan’s pretty much let her decorate there room however she likes.
31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what? Yes she has,mainly Zombies but she has killed people before out of necessity and protection.
32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do? As long as she’s with them she doesn’t really care. Her first date with Merle was at a restaurant/Bar,then they went dancing at a club and then back to his place...With The Governor it was sharing drinks out in the garden,though if he had a choice Philip would have taken her out to a nice restaurant. Suzie didn’t really have a conventional first date with Negan but they have their quiet nights alone,candle lit dinners,kinky sex ;) Negan also spoils her with presents every time they go out.
33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go? Her Room...lol seriously though,what alone time? Though sometimes her and the other wives hang out in Eugene’s room,playing video games and drinking if they need an escape.
34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc) Breakfast Foods mainly.
35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go? Not much anymore,though she is afraid of leaving her kids behind.
36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? No
37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them? Being hit on,especially when she’s taken. Her men flirting with someone else.
38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc? As long as it’s not an extreme weather,she really doesn’t care.
39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct? Well as Negan said when they first met “You are such a badass!” and he’s not wrong. Others may think she’s easily manipulated and maybe she is,at first.
40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others? Not really,she did try and hide her kinkier side with The Governor but Negan pretty much has done away with being ashamed of anything and told her they don’t need to hide that in The Sanctuary.
41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way? They used to.
42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change? Sometimes she regrets meeting The Governor or siding with Negan over Alexandria but Suzie wouldn’t really change it.
43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self? I think different people see different aspects of her personality and vice versa.
44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? Her Children or Negan dying.
45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve? A bit of both.
46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover? With Merle,Sue always sat on his lap if he was sitting on a chair or recliner. She does that with Negan too,with The Governor she always kissed his bad eye,if he was having a bad day,just to show him that she still loved him no matter what he looked like..
47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along? Sue used to be shyer but now she’s definitely more outgoing and a leader.
48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? Again her men flirting with someone else,especially Merle. Negan favoriting another wife over her.
49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood? She used to have nightmares about finding Merle as a Zombie or of The Governor killing her but they have since dissipated.
50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say? With Merle it was after their first time and Merle said it first,he was super nervous about it and Sue had to reassure him that she loved him too.
With Philip it was to reassure him that she wasn’t going anywhere,after he lost his eye and turned dark.
With Negan it was during a particularly rare moment of confindment after he told her about Lucille,he didn’t say it back until a few months later when he was absolutely sure,and when he knew she wouldn’t leave him.
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How can you describe Murdocks's personality?
Matt: “I’m an endless contradiction that’d never stand up to cross-examination, Foggy. Always thought that was part of my charm.”
Daredevil vol. 1 #353 by Karl Kesel, Cary Nord, and Christie Scheele
Matt’s personality is varied and complex, thanks to one of my favorite aspects of Big Two superhero comics: the fact that Daredevil has been around for 55 years and has been written by dozens of different people. The downside of this situation is the myriad continuity issues that plague these comics, but the upside is that it results in rich characters who have been explored from every possible angle, and Matt is (in my unbiased opinion) one of the best examples. The tone of the story being told tends to impact the way he behaves, and different writers have emphasized different sides of his personality based on their own interpretations of his character, but there is a lot that has remained consistent over the years.
Since his introduction, Matt has been characterized by fearless heroism; his origin story involves him leaping in front of an out-of-control truck to save a stranger’s life. He is called “the Man Without Fear” (and, heck, Daredevil) for a reason. He has a strong moral code and sense of justice that keeps him fighting for people in need. His childhood spent in a crime-ridden neighborhood, and his father’s murder while he was in college, both taught him hard lessons about how cruel and unforgiving the world can be. He knows how important law and justice are, and knows how often they fail, and so he is compelled to help people, both as a superhero and as a lawyer. He is extremely brave, and doesn’t hesitate to go to great lengths to achieve his goals. This is true in every aspect of his life– in his legal career as much as his superhero one.
“Stay calm.”
“The voice isn’t soothing. It’s stern-wry-stormy. A reckless say-your-prayers sign-your-will-before-crossing-it kind of voice. The attorney with the vocal attitude is Matthew Murdock. Known in legal circles to be something of a daredevil.”
Daredevil vol. 1 #380 by D.G. Chichester, Lee Weeks, and Christie Scheele
This ties into Matt’s adrenaline junkie tendencies. He isn’t just willing to take risks– he enjoys them! He’s an active, energetic guy, and both his blindness (and the ableism/societal expectations that came with it) and his father’s role in limiting his athletic activities as a kid further exacerbated his need for action. I can’t allow myself to get through a post like this without getting up on my usual soapbox and saying: regardless of what else may be going on in his life, on a fundamental level, Matt loves being Daredevil. Swinging through the city, fighting bad guys, and making a name for himself as a superhero fulfills his need for action, thrills, and empowerment, and has actually proven to be a key aspect of his mental health. Whenever Matt is bored, restless, stressed, upset, or doesn’t know what else to do, he will fling himself out the nearest window.
Matt: “Look! I’m not getting anywhere sitting around here… which means– it’s travelin’ time… for this bored little Man Without Fear! It’s true… it really is; out here, with the wind rushing past me, I come alive! For a short while, I have no problems, no worries– nothing but total freedom!”
Daredevil vol. 1 #125 by Marv Wolfman, Bob Brown and Klaus Janson
Foggy: “What are you doing?”
Matt: “I’m going out.”
Foggy: “Out there? To face them?”
Matt: “No. Out there. To do something worthwhile for someone.”
Foggy: “You’re a stubborn @?!*! You know that? You’re a stubborn @!?*!!”
Daredevil vol. 2 #34 by Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev, and Matt Hollingsworth
At times, Matt has questioned whether this thrill, rather than the superheroics, is the real reason he is Daredevil, and it’s part of why I’m convinced he would have become a superhero even if Jack hadn’t been murdered.
Matt is extremely strong-willed and resilient. You can’t beat him down; even when he gets stomped into the dirt, he will not stop fighting. This has also been true since basically the beginning of the comic. One of his earliest character-defining issues is Daredevil volume 1 #7, in which Matt singlehandedly battles Namor the Sub-Mariner, and refuses to give up even when it’s clear that he has no hope of winning
Caption: “But, once again, the power of the Sub-Mariner is greater than any could suppose, and it is he who recovers first– while the Man Without Fear […] lies weak, and dazed, and helpless…! Yet, how can one measure the limitless courage of a fellow human? Although on the brink of unconsciousness– although racked with pain and fatigue– still the sightless crusader reaches out–!”
Matt: “Come back! You– you mustn’t fight the others–! They’re innocent– mustn’t be harmed– mustn’t–!”
Namor: “I have fought the Fantastic Four, the Avengers, and other super-powered humans, but none has been more courageous than he, the most vulnerable of all!”
Daredevil vol. 1 #7 by Stan Lee and Wally Wood
Matt’s life has been difficult to the point of becoming a running joke within Marvel comics. He has suffered a lot. But a key element of this suffering is showing how he survives it. For instance: many people point to the “Born Again” arc as an example of a depressing Daredevil story, but I don’t see it that way because it’s ultimately a celebration of Matt’s strength of spirit. There are two ways of being the Man Without Fear: there’s the swashbuckley Daredevilling, and there’s having the courage to keep fighting when all seems lost.
Matt’s superhuman willpower also has a negative side. He is stubborn and hardheaded to a frustrating degree. He has a big, sometimes overpowering personality, values his perspective above all others, and will frequently trample over/disregard the opinions of other people for the sake of doing what he thinks is right. This wholehearted confidence in his own judgment is vital for his hero work, but not so great for his personal relationships. It’s one reason why he mostly operates on his own as a superhero (it caused him to butt heads with Natasha Romanov while they were partners), and why he can also be a huge pain to work with as a lawyer. This is exacerbated by his secret-keeping– something he has done since he was young, long before he became a superhero or even had powers. One of the first things we learn about young Matt in DD #1 is that he snuck to the gym to train without Jack’s knowledge, hiding a key side of himself from his father, and he has maintained layers of secrecy– including crafting an array of aliases/alter egos– ever since.
Matt: “Even when I was first blinded, I never told anyone about my radar or my hypersenses. Not even my dad. I enjoyed having a big secret. When people make you feel like you’re weak and helpless, it’s empowering to know something they don’t. And, boy, did I need empowering. […] But here’s the truth: learned behaviors die hard. They become a comfort zone. So even though I grew older, and stronger, I somehow never let go of that need for the power of secrecy. And along the way, it went from survival skill to habit to… to…”
Foggy: “Emotional addiction. I can see that. You do love coming to the table with an ace up your sleeve. No wonder you took to law.”
Daredevil vol. 3 #22 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Javier Rodriguez
He puts up facades and keeps information to himself almost by instinct at this point. When things get bad, he shuts people out and turns inward. And he often displays what I’d call selfish selflessness– doing things he thinks are right while ignoring the fact that they may actually have harmful consequences. A major example of this is faking his death to keep his loved ones safe– something Matt has done on multiple occasions.
He is also an extremely emotional person. Matt feels things intensely, in more ways than one. He has clinical depression (which was established by Mark Waid in Volume 4), and he has been through a series of horrific mental breakdowns over the course of his career. Matt at his lowest points is erratic and often frightening. He becomes dangerously impulsive, sometimes emotionally abuses those around him, and is extra angry and violent as Daredevil.
Matt: “I don’t enjoy torture. But tonight I don’t care. In between the screams, I beat him. Like he was a heavy bag. And it feels good. I should feel sick. I should, but I don’t. I just feel more angry… ready for a new target.”
Daredevil vol. 2 #104 by Ed Brubaker, Michael Lark, Matt Hollingsworth, et al.
He has suffered immense loss over the course of his career-- mostly in the form of his array of dead girlfriends-- for which he blames himself (and to be honest, he does deserve at least some of that blame). He doesn’t always learn from the mistakes that leave his loved ones dead, but he still feels that grief very deeply.
On the upside, he’s also extremely passionate. He will do anything for the causes/people he cares about (even if he doesn’t always show it), falls in love fast, hard, and all-consumingly, and in general needs to have friends around him to keep him sane and happy. He is very smart but often lacking in common sense. He’s a charming flirt, a charismatic public speaker, a snarky punk to those who know him well, and he has a hilarious dry sense of humor that is 50% self-deprecation and 50% blind jokes.
Foggy: “Did you see this, Matt?”
Matt: “Foggy, how long have you known me?”
Foggy: “You know what I mean!”
Daredevil vol. 2 #76 by Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev, and Dave Stewart
In short, he’s a hugely complex person in a way that I adore, flaws and all. I’m going to end with this quote from Foggy (well, Mark Waid), since it’s a personal favorite:
Foggy: “[Matt] will confound you. He will frustrate you. He will make your choices FOR you, he will manipulate you without CONSULTING you, and you will want to PUNCH him in his self-assured face at least ONCE AN HOUR. […] But he will care about you in a way that no one else ever could.”
Daredevil vol. 4 #5 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Javier Rodriguez
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Use the list below to make a ‘prompt’ request
Feel free to request with any sentence you come up with and not present in the list below
Rules: Describes what requests I accept and whether each type of request is open or closed
Types of Requests: Describes the different kinds of requests you can make, and includes what’s in a ‘prompt’ request
Dialogue Prompts
1. “Have you even met me?”
2. “Have you lost your damn mind!?”
3. “I hate it – I absolutely hate it. I can’t help but love you, and I hate that I can’t stop.”
4. “He’s missing, not dead.”
5. “Don’t try to follow me.”
6. “I trusted you more than anyone else and you lied.”
7. “I thought you were getting better.”
8. “How long are you guys going to stand around my bed like a bunch of creepers?”
9. “Are you hitting on her for me?”
10. “I just wanted you to know that when I picture myself happy… it’s with you.”
11. “Sorry, I have a clingy and feverish assassin on my lap. I’ll call you back when I’ve convinced him that a cold doesn’t mean he’s dying.”
12. “Who wouldn’t be angry? You ate all my cereal and faked your death for three years!”
13. “On whatever honor I might have left, I swear I will end you for what you’ve done”
14. “Actually, you are speaking to the manager.”
15. “I remember kissing you. Why do I remember kissing you?”
16. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt!”
17. “Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?”
18. “If I go through with this, I die. If I don’t go through with this, we all die.”
19. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”
20. “No! He’s not supposed to die! It’s supposed to be me!”
21. “This plan of yours is going to get us killed. Of course I’m in.”
22. “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.”
23. “Yes, it’s a questionable line of work, but I’m good at it.”
24. “Are you banned from every bar or just that particular bar?”
25. “I keep dreaming of you. I don’t wish to, it just happens.”
26. “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
27. “I just really need to have you here right now.”
28. “I’m fine, I promise.”
29. “Have I entered an alternate universe, or did you really just crack a smile for me?”
30. “Did you steal my sister from her wedding?”
31. “Have I ever lied to you?”
32. “The only thing scarier than the unknown is me.”
33. “I took a pregnancy test.”
34. “You’ve got thirty seconds to explain to me what you’re doing here.”
35. “There’s a little bit of demon in her angel eyes.”
36. “If I start leaking blood from my eyeballs I am going to come back and haunt you so hard.”
37. “Sometimes, home has a heartbeat.”
38. “You are insensitive and apathetic and incredibly impolite. We will get along beautifully.”
39. “You fainted. You said you were okay.”
40. “I had a nightmare about you and just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
41. “If you don’t fight for what you love, don’t cry for what you lose.”
42. “Have you ever wanted to hate someone?”
43. I’ll take care of you, okay?”
44. “I guess I was wrong about you. You’re not so bad after all.”
45. “Stop trying to make poker night happen.”
46. “I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be.”
47. “You are all remarkably well behaved tonight. What did you do?”
48. “The scariest moment is always right before you start.”
49. “One day this pain will make sense to you.”
50. “Don’t say you love me.”
51. “I like storms. They let me know that even the sky screams sometimes.”
52. “You are the least subtle person I know. Your ‘I have a secret’ vibe is literally visible from the moon.���
53. “Hold my hand, dammit, we gotta make this look convincing!”
54. “I’m not completely human anymore. Remember that next time you want to punch me in the face.”
55. “Don’t say ‘goodbye,’ it makes it worse.”
56. “I’d like to see you figure out the difference between blood and marinara sauce.”
57. “Damn it, why aren’t you obeying the laws of physics?”
58. “Give me five bucks, I’ll explain later.”
59. “All you’re doing is hurting yourself.”
60. “Don’t lie to me. Please.”
61. “Even if I could stop it, I wouldn’t.”
62. “Look, if you want to conjure some demon spawn from the great beyond, that’s all fine and dandy. Just wait for me to leave before you start.”
63. “Did you ever really love me?”
64. “If you tell me again that we can’t do this, I’m going to kick you somewhere you’re not going to enjoy.”
65. “I’m going to ask you something and you have to answer me honestly.”
66. “I made a bet. I lost. It’s as simple as that.”
67. “Don’t be alarmed, but there’s a chance I currently have a bullet in my shoulder.”
68. “Are you crying?”
69. “You’re up late.”
70. “I can’t do this anymore.”
71. “Either ask her out or I’ll do it for you!”
72. “Guess who’s going to be a father?”
73. “I don’t know how to look you in the eye after the things I’ve done.”
74. “Do you think she could’ve liked me?”
75. “Why do you think you’re not worth taking care of?”
76. “You need to get some sleep.”
77. “I choose you.”
78. “Do you think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”
79. “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
80. “It was just a nightmare. Go back to sleep.”
81. I’m not going to hurt you.”
82. “I’m so sorry. I was trying a new spell and things got out of hand… really out of hand.”
83. “Correct me if I’m wrong but you didn’t have wings yesterday, right?”
84. “I can’t breathe.”
85. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
86. “Did I stutter?”
87. “You haven’t eaten in how long?”
88. “I want to believe that there’s still some good in you.”
89. “I’m not leaving you alone like this.”
90. “Come over here and make me.”
91. “Does he know about the baby?”
92. “How’d you know I’d be here?”
93. “It’s okay, it was just a mistake.”
94. “Truth be told, I’m not sure any of them are actually dead.”
95. “No – I have no idea how she found lipstick in the apocalypse… We’re literally in the middle of nowhere.”
96. “Do you need me to get anything from the store?”
97. “There are at least seventeen ways this could have gone better.”
98. “I can’t believe I let this happen.”
99. “Be my wife.”
100. “I care about you a whole damn lot.”
101. “With a smile, I can get away with everything.”
102. “But the carnival is right down the street! Can we please go?”
103. “Go then, leave! See if I care!”
104. “Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture.”
105. “Could you be happy here with me?”
106. “Is it getting bad again?”
107. “Delete that.”
108. “You’re safe with me.”
109. “Get away from me!”
Thought Prompts
110. Their hands met, reaching for the same book.
111. There was something about him. Something about the way he watched me.
112. The third time she broke the bullet proof glass, I knew we needed to talk.
113. She never spoke, never made a sound, but the look in her eyes told me exactly what was about to happen.
114. Broken glass and paperwork littered the floor of the Queen’s study.
Conversation Prompts
115. “I don’t snore, do I?”
“Like a chainsaw.”
116. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I’m always worried about you.”
117. “He stared at the barrel of her gun as he fell to his knees.
“You don’t have to do this.”
Tears stung her eyes. She breathed deeply, aiming the rifle at his skull.
“I wish that were true.”
118. “Are you okay?”
“Why do you ask?”
“You’re wearing two different shoes?”
119. “My friends think I’m cute.”
“I’m your only friend.”
“Yeah but you think I’m cute, right?”
120. “Are you even listening?”
“Yes, it just takes a while for me to process so much stupid all at once.”
121. “We’re going to be late.”
“And whose fault is that?”
122. “Why is he bleeding?”
“Because he’s an idiot.”
“I didn’t know that idiocy caused people to just start spontaneously bleeding from the nose.”
“I think it’s a new phenomenon.”
123. “Should I ask why you have a knife in your purse?”
“It’s a dagger, actually. And no, you shouldn’t.”
124. “Get out of bed.”
“NO!”
“Why do you fight me every single morning?”
“Because you never learn!”
125. “Did you bring us here to die?”
“Obviously.”
“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”
126. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Longer than you’d like.”
127. “Your home is a wreck… you could’ve at least cleared the bathroom.”
“Had I known I was going to have guests at three o’clock in the morning I’m sure I would’ve.”
128. “Which way did they go?”
“Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I’d guess they went left.”
“You could really figure it out from all that?”
“No, you idiot. They sent me a text, see?”
129. “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?”
“Not until four?”
130. “I love…”
“Me?”
“Well, I was actually going to say dogs, but sure.”
131. “You didn’t seriously…?”
“Yep.”
“You just…?”
“Yep.”
“Does that mean…?”
“Quite possibly.”
132. “When did you become so smart, wise guy?”
“Since I stopped listening to you.”
“You only heard his side. You don’t know the truth.”
133. “I didn’t know you could cook.”
“Oh, trust me I can’t.”
#prompt list#fanfiction#fanfiction writing#imagines#okay-j-hannah#masterlist#story prompt#prompt#writing#writing prompts#dialogue prompts#requests open#x reader
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I found a new (to me) blog that chronicles a person with borderline personality disorder, which I was diagnosed with (among other things like major depressive disorder, and panic attack disorder). I follow a few of those blogs and over and over again it amazes me how exact the sentiments between all of them, us when you include myself, are.
My whole life I knew there was something wrong with me but couldnt pin it. I had seen psychologists and been in therapy since the third grade and it wasnt until my second stay in the hospital (at the age of 34) that they finally gave me a diagnosis that made sense. I used to constantly ask, 'What the fuck is wrong with me? Like, seriously, what?', out loud to people in my family, to Jared, to friends. I knew that Ibwas not "normal". I knew that it couldnt be everyone else because when you go around thinking that everyone else is a jerk, guess what? Youre the jerk. I knew it was me, I just didnt know what it was or how to fix it. Now, when I read these peoples posts I always find at least one somewhere down the scroll road that says something like, 'I could never figure out what the fuck was wrong with me until they diagnosed me.' *FUCKING DING DING DING*
You might be thinking that that's true of *any* physical ailment, but borderline is a really hard disorder to diagnose. To the point where some psychiatrists dont even believe the disorder exists. Some believe that it's a combination of multiple disorders, rather than one specific disorder. Call it what you want, I call it a living hell.
My symptoms have been coming back because I'm not using the skills I learned in DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Therapy) at all. I've got my binder in a drawer and it hasnt seen the light of day in months. I dont even *want* to crack it open I'm so tired of this being an uphill battle and having to fight my way through the muck inside my head while raising two boys (poorly) and desperately trying to summon the motivation to keep my business alive, the apartment clean, and our finances under control. It's almost June and I've made little to no money because I haven't been pushing it at all. I haven't cleaned my bedroom in months, I wait for the dishes to pile up before I wash them, I have THE HARDEST TIME getting out of bed and sometimes I dont. I'm here with two kids and I'm like whatever 😴😴😴. Its not good, it's not healthy, and what's worse is that I dont have it in me to do anything about it. Take your big girl pants and choke on them, ok? Fuck that shit. I'm tired, I'm fucking tired. I dont want to live my life like this. Not the lack of motivation or the cleaning, but the having to pull myself out of the abyss and try to rewire my brain to think differently. And it's all day, everything I do has to come with some kind of skill I'm supposed to practice. I cant keep it all up, so I've just given up entirely. My brain just says no and it tells my body the same thing and theres a part of me that can see all of this happening and still cant win the fight against the others.
Jared asked me if reading other bpd blogs was helpful or if it made me feel worse (he knows how I do the thing where I'll trigger myself on purpose following my compulsions to the limit and having no will power whatsoever, which might include reading other peoples posts about their experiences with bpd) , and honestly it makes me feel better. I think a lot of people with bpd identify with feeling alone in the world, mostly because our behavior and line of thinking makes it hard to maintain relationships, have friends, keep a job, pay bills on time, etc. When you feel separated from society because seemingly every task that most people can do normally (like have a conversation with someone that doesnt turn out totally weird, or behave professionally in a workplace) you fucking cant, it's a lonely feeling. Im smart. Why cant I do these simple things and the majority of other people can??? When you've lost all of your friends and severed relationships over dumb ass nonsense, you feel alone. At some point you've lost everyone and everything and have no one but yourself to talk to, and that can be dangerous when you dont even know who you are and you have triggers and compulsions and recklessness is a part of your routine. So I'm grateful for the others who have the courage to write honestly about what they experience on a day to day basis. It makes me feel like I'm not alone, and it's nice to find comfort somewhere when you always feel uncomfortable.
#borderline personality disorder#bpd#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#dialectic behavioral therapy#dbt skills#dbt
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JACOB KATZMAN: ABOUT
GENERAL
first name? jacob.
surname? katzman.
middle name? alexander.
nicknames? jake, jakey, katzman. on the more silly/ironic side: catman, catdaddy, katillac.
date of birth? january 9th, 1987.
age? thirty two.
APPEARANCE
height? 5′11″.
build? fit ectomorph.
hair color? dark brown.
hairstyle? it’s on the longish side, to his chin. he keeps it swept back, typically using product to keep it loosely in place.
eye color? dark brown.
face shape? diamond.
race/ethnicity? ashkenazi jew, european.
glasses or contact lenses? neither, he has great vision. he will, however, occasionally wear tinted glasses simply because he likes the look.
distinguishing facial features? his roman-shaped nose, and protruding eyes.
types of clothes? jake wears business casual. tucked in shirts with the sleeves rolled up, dress pants, and loafers. never a tie (unless, of course, an event calls for it).
how do they wear their clothes? again, tucked in shirts with rolled up sleeves. additionally, he’ll leave a button or two unbuttoned--the more casual the event, the more buttons unbuttoned. he also wears a lot of blues (light and dark), grays, whites, and browns.
mannerisms? he uses his hands to talk, touches his face/hair when he’s thinking/talking, and has the tendency to stare off into space.
FAMILY
father? david katzman, 70. a retired corporate lawyer/partner at a well respected/known firm in manhattan: katzman and pinkett. he now works as a legal consultant to stay busy.
mother? barbara katzman, 65. former administrative assistant. became a full time housewife when jacob was born/when david’s firm became far more successful.
sister? tiffany katzman, 34. paralegal at katzman and pinkett.
relationship with each? with his father: jake is close with his dad, though it seems they have kind of a... professional relationship rather than a father-son relationship. the way his dad talks to him is more along the lines of a mentor talking to his apprentice, but jake has never had an issue with that. with his mother: jake is his mom’s BABY BOY. her only son. the light of her life. she’s very publicly proud of him and his accomplishments, and she talks him up to everyone she meets. every time he visits, she kisses him, pinches his cheeks, and gives him hugs. there is no denying that jake is close with his mother, even though her overly-affectionate attitude towards him feels like a bit much to him at times. he calls her at least twice a week, and she is his main connection to everything going on at home. with his sister: jake and tiffany do not get along. when jake was first brought home from the hospital, the first thing tiffany had to say was ‘take it back’. growing up, they were always tormenting each other, fighting, and making mean comments about one another. no matter what their mother did to encourage getting along, nothing ever seemed to stick. even now as adults, they’re very immaturely hateful towards one another. through it all, however, they still technically love each other.
PERSONALITY
what words/phrases do they overuse? jake says ‘oh?’ and ‘i don’t care’ often.
are they more optimistic or pessimistic? pessimistic.
are they introverted or extroverted? somewhere in the middle. an ambivert.
what bad habits do they have? being judgmental, imposing his beliefs on others, talking over people.
what makes them laugh out loud? well-established inside jokes.
how do they display affection? lots of touching (whether it’s romantic, like touching someone’s thigh/lower back/cheek. or platonic, like touching someone’s shoulder/arm.), smiling, joking around.
how do they want to be seen by others? successful and capable.
how competitive are they? extremely. he will make a competition out of anything.
do they make snap judgments or take time to consider? mostly snap. he won’t think critically unless he’s having an in depth discussion, or when he’s called upon to.
how do they react to praise? rather... smugly. like he knew he did a good job.
how do they react to criticism? typically defensive. when it’s from someone he views as below him, he’ll get angry before dismissing it entirely. if it’s from someone he views as equal/above him, he’ll still show signs of being defensive before deciding to do better (usually for petty reasons).
what is their greatest fear? settling.
what is their philosophy of life? that there is always something to fight for.
when was the last time they cried? jake doesn’t cry a lot. in fact, it can seem like he’s a robot with no emotions more often than not. but the last time he cried was when he came to the realization that he and odessa weren’t on the same life path, and that the only resolution at the time was saying goodbye.
what are their political views? he is a registered democrat, leaning towards the more liberal side of the spectrum. he’s pro-choice, anti-gun, and a firm believer in taxing corporations/the one percent. he does not get along with a good chunk of conservatives.
what are their pet peeves? people who aren’t registered to vote/don’t care to change that. slow walkers/talkers. loud eaters. smacking of gum. people who wait around to be told what to do instead of taking initiative.
PAST AND FUTURE
what was your character like as a baby? as a child? as a baby, jake was very well behaved and quite happy. he giggled a lot, smiled a lot, and hardly ever cried. everyone who ever took care of him said he was the easiest baby to tend to. as a child, he was super argumentative and too smart for his own good. example: he was the one kid who told all the kids who celebrated christmas that santa claus wasn’t real. he wasn’t afraid to tell other kids at his school that they were, in fact, stupid. on top of all that, he had a very leader-like essence about him. the kids in his grade followed him like ducks in a row.
did they grow up rich or poor? his family is part of the upper-middle class--which mainly had to do with the fact that his parents became parents are a relatively ‘later’ age when their careers were firmly established. so because of that, jacob’s childhood teetered on the wealthier side of things. he went to private schools, after all.
did they grow up nurtured or neglected? very, very nurtured.
what was their first kiss like? horrible. it was with a girl a year older than him. tons of rumors surrounded her being super experienced, but after jake kissed her--he had a sense that she had no clue what she was doing, just like him. when he brought that up to her, he worded things in a way that was rude, and so she slapped him.
what are their ambitions? right now, his long term goal is to become the campaign manager of a presidential campaign.
what advice would they give their younger self? ‘sometimes people don’t need to be told how bad they are at something.’
what was their childhood ambition? his long term goal growing up was to get into an ivy league school.
did they have an imaginary childhood friend? no, but when he was really young--he did try. simply because he thought it was something he had to do. when he realized it was something that wasn’t required, he moved on.
when was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? circling back to his relationship with odessa--the last time jake was crushed with disappointment was when she drew the line for herself, and decided she didn’t want to be pushed the way jake was pushing her. it was a lot of frustration early on. the disappointment didn’t arrive until the dust began to settle.
LOVE
do they believe in love at first sight? no. but at times, he wished that he had the kind of light-hearted personality that allowed for beliefs like that.
are they in a relationship? it’s complicated.
how do they behave in a relationship? jake is super affectionate with his partners. hand holding. an arm around their waist. pda. he’ll also send them flowers, and call them when he’s away from them. he’s a very relationship-oriented person if the person he’s with feels right to him. if not? he’s alarmingly distant and unaffectionate.
has your character ever been in love? it’s hard to say, he’s not super in tune with his emotions like that--but he knows for sure that if anything, he’s been close.
have they ever been heartbroken? yes.
WORK / EDUCATION / HOBBIES
what is their current job? a campaign field director.
what do they think of their current job? he enjoys it. he likes the impact he’s making, and the exciting ‘up in the air’ feeling of it all. but he knows he’d like to be doing more within the campaign, that he’s capable of doing more.
what are some of their past jobs? a server at a restaurant to a variety of internships, to a political analyst, to his current position.
educational background? he went to private school for grades k-12. from there, he went on to study at harvard where he graduated with honors in political science.
do they have a natural talent for something? jake is scary good at written tests of any kind.
what are their hobbies? he reads a lot of books and watches a lot of movies. he’s a little bit of a movie buff. he also really enjoys beer on a level that’s lowkey snobbish.
do they play a sport? are they any good? he was on his middle school’s AND high school’s respective swim teams. he never took it super seriously, but he was pretty good at it. during the off season for swimming, he did cross country. he enjoyed the latter thoroughly.
DAILY LIFE
what are their eating habits? he eats very healthily, sticks to a somewhat strict diet that compliments his workout routine. he does, however, have a scary fast metabolism and can honestly get away with eating absolute garbage all while staying thin.
what is their home like? as it currently stands, jake has two homes. his ‘main’ home in brooklyn, and his temporary home in richmond. both are extremely tidy. he’s always been a super clean person. his home in brooklyn reflects his personality a bit more than his richmond residence--as it is decorated with art, and modern furniture, whereas the richmond home is barren and cold, reminding him of just how temporary it is. with all of that in mind, the richmond residence has a bit more of a ‘lived in’ quality to it, since it’s currently the home he spends his nights at. the brooklyn home instead feels a bit staged, like it’s on the market and furnished only to look good to potential buyers simply because he’s not there to give it the feeling that someone lives there.
are they a minimalist or a clutter hoarder? a minimalist. he’s always prepared to move.
what do they first do on a weekday morning? first thing’s first, he’ll make coffee. second, he’ll go for a jog. after that, he’ll shower, eat breakfast, and then leave for work.
what do they do on a sunday afternoon? sunday is his personal office day, so he spends most of the day knocking out stuff he needs to complete for the week. if he doesn’t have anything he needs to finish, though, he dedicated the day to relaxing/spending time with his loved ones.
what do they do on a friday night? it depends on the friday in question. sometimes he’ll hit the gym. other times he’ll go on a date or get drunk with friends.
what is their soda of choice? in all honesty? jake doesn’t drink soda, and honestly never has cared for it much in adulthood. when he was younger, though, he was partial to grape.
what is their alcoholic drink of choice? beer. he likes to drink from local breweries.
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Jane the Virgin 1x07 Chapter Seven
Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)
Stray thoughts
1) It’s nice to get a little more backstory to their first kiss.
NARRATOR: Unfortunately, as Jane described their magical talk, Xo had the distinct impression that…
XIOMARA: He sounds like a playboy, hon.
JANE: I know. I know. He seemed like he would be, but he wasn't.
JANE: He seemed so sincere.
XIOMARA: That's what makes a good playboy. You never feel like you're getting played.
Of course, this was before the cancer, the marriage, Petra’s miscarriage (I’m assuming it was a miscarriage, although this being a telenovela, it could have easily been a fake pregnancy, we’ll see…), and everything that has happened since the show started. Rafael was a different person then, and so was Jane. She seemed to be much more naïve and gullible back then.
The part I’m not buying, though, is how they managed not to run into each other for over 4 years? Like, she was working at the hotel he owned, wasn’t there any awkward encounters like EVER? The show definitely makes it sound as if they had gone by almost five years without seeing or talking to each other…
2) I have to say, I’m with Xiomara and with the stop sign on this one…
It does seem a bit rushed for them to get together, especially considering all the special circumstances that brought them into each other’s lives. And I’m sorry if I’m raining on the shippers’ parade, but they barely know each other? It seems they’re more in lust than in love, and the whole “meant to be” thing is more “meant to be in your pants” than fate. I really hope the show makes me feel different about this because I do enjoy their interactions so far, I like them as characters, and I can see the chemistry there, but I also need some depth to their relationship, you know?
3) Okay, so Rafael showed up and asked her out, and they almost kissed but Jane told him she needed some time and space, which, yes, good for you. But I don’t see that time and space thing lasting too long for some reason…
4) I have a feeling Petra would like to switch places with Jane right now…
5) The fucking nuns are using Jane as a fucking fertility attraction or something. Without her knowledge.
6) Did you know that I love Rogelio?
7) We all know I’m not fond of Michael, but… he did ask Jane point blank if the breakup had anything to do with Rafael, and she lied. Even if there were things Michael did that contributed to her deciding to break up with him, Rafael had a lot to do with it as well. I guess she was trying to spare his feelings, but… she lied. And Michael lying to her was one of the reasons she was broke up with him, so… that’s a bit hypocritical Jane…
8) Rafael is being a bit too pushy for my liking…
RAFAEL: Have you had enough time? Ready to go on a date?
JANE: No. I came to ask a favor, actually, which is totally unrelated to our current situation.
RAFAEL: And what is our current situation?
The girl asked you for some time and space, and it’s been, what? 8 hours? Seriously?
9) OF COURSE, he’s going to be in the club and will continue to push things. That’s so not the way to go about this.
10) Now, these two? They really are meant for each other…
NARRATOR: What you are about to witness is two creatures who are inherently dramatic attempt to behave like they are - not dramatic.
11) Desperate times call for desperate measures…
MAGDA: We can't keep him here forever. We might have to consider…
PETRA: What?
MAGDA: I know people from the old country.They could take care of him for us.
PETRA: Mother, that's crazy!
MAGDA: It is realistic. Now, here are your options: You kill him or let him go, and risk Milos finding you and then you'll wish you were dead. Your choice.
I’m not sure Petra is capable of murdering someone. Magda, on the other hand…
12) AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13) Oh my god, is he twelve?!
JANE: Michael saw the flowers you sent, and he was so hurt it was awful.
RAFAEL: Jane, that wasn't my intention.
JANE: I know. But that's why I'm saying it's too soon.
RAFAEL: What, because of Michael?
JANE: Yes, because of Michael. We were engaged.I was I was about to marry him.
RAFAEL: I'm sorry. But, Jane, he's kind of been a jerk to me.
He’s acting like an entitled rich boy, isn’t he? He wants Jane so he must have her now, it doesn’t matter that she’s not completely comfortable and it doesn’t matter that she still cares about her ex-fiancé with whom she broke up a day ago! And how does he justify not caring about hurting Michael’s feelings or disregarding Jane’s feelings for Michael? “Ugh he was a jerk!”
I don’t like this side of Rafael, I hope he understands why this is wrong SOON.
14) OMG
JANE: Do you by any chance know my father?
15) And now he’s taking Jane’s request for time and space a little bit too seriously…
16) I LOVE ROGELIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
17) Get your shit together, dude…
Like, you want to date the girl who’s carrying your fucking baby, maybe don’t get salt licked by “a friend” right in front of her?
18) Well, it seems Petra has what it takes to be a murderer after all…
IVAN: Is that peanut sauce?
PETRA: I don't know. I just ordered chicken from room service.
IVAN: I have peanut allergy!
19) False alarm…
He even thanked her, that’s progress.
20) Hmmm, I’m not sold on how the show got Rafael to “refute” each single of Jane’s arguments. They simply have different points of views, and both of their arguments are valid. The most important one, however, is the fact that they clearly don’t know each other very well. It’s one thing to start dating someone who you don’t know very well under regular circumstances. That’s basically what we all do, that is literally how you get to know someone and find out whether you can have a meaningful relationship with them or not. But… Jane is fucking pregnant with Rafael’s baby… so the dating thing could potentially backfire in the worst possible way, and even if they intend to “put the baby first”, they cannot be sure that’s what they’ll do once their hearts are broken and there’s resentment or bad blood.
21) I guess I was wrong when I said Jane had a good head on her shoulders…
I’m sorry but I’m so not into this. It really feels like they’re in lust, and that’s just not my thing.
22) Rafael’s mom is totally going to come back, right?
23) Yeah, that whole “conversation that goes on forever”? I get it, I’ve had those. But it feels the writers are trying to fast-forward the most meaningful part of a relationship, the getting-to-know-each-other part, the slowly falling in love with someone as you learn more and more about them. It just happened overnight for Jane and Rafael.
I feel like I should like them, like I should be falling for them as they fall for each other, but it seems too… contrived. I’m not into it…
24) Oh, Petra, you deceitful SOB! You got me!
MAGDA: That was smart. Seeing his bracelet. You've earned his trust.
NARRATOR: Ah, yes, the classic "poison your hostage and then save him to earn his trusts" technique. Works every time.
MAGDA: I hope the rest of your plan works as smoothly.
What is the rest of her plan, though?
25) ROGELIO STOPPPPPPPPP
26) And now I feel sorry for Michael? What is this episode doing to me?
27) Oh, this trick again, Petra… it didn’t work with Rafael, though…
I’m guessing he’s going to sleep with her and not give her the money, to get back at her because of how she fooled him before…
28) rrrrrogELIOOOOOOOOOOOO
RAFAEL: Who are you?
ROGELIO: I am Jane's father.
RAFAEL: Oh, uh Oh, uh, it's nice to meet you, Sir.
ROGELIO: I wish I could say the same. Jane's mother was worried all night.
RAFALl: Oh, I am so sorry. We-we just kind of…
ROGELIO: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know your game. I used to be just like you. Ridiculously good-looking, with charisma, with swagger, notching girls onto my belt.
RAFAEL: No, that's-that's not what's happening
ROGELIO: I have had sex with a lot of women. Way more than you, I'm sure!
RAFAEL: I am sure that that's true.
ROGELIO: But Jane is different. Jane is special. Remember that. Or face the consequences.
29) “Deferred payment plan.” Yep, you’re not going to see that money, Petra…
30) Nope. I don’t like this, at all.
XIOMARA: And you're not me, Jane. You make smart choices, sensible choices.
JANE: Exactly. Because I was always scared of repeating your mistakes. And, mom, I'm just realizing, because of that, I've been afraid to take risks. Real risks.
XIOMARA: You've been smart.
JANE: I've been safe. And I'm gonna be a mom. And moms put their kids first. You know that better than anyone. So this is my last chance I get to follow my heart. Do what I want. And, yeah, maybe the timing isn't perfect, but I want to be with Rafael. He's a good guy.
There’s nothing wrong with being safe, especially when you’re having a baby. And I really don’t get Jane’s logic here? “I’ve been safe my whole life and afraid of taking risks so now that I’m having a baby and will put it first is the best time to take risks”? Maybe don’t? Especially if you’re taking a chance with the father of your baby who you barely know and you could potentially ruin your relationship as parents and therefore create an unhealthy environment for your child just because you had a whim and you were hot for the guy?
I know that I’m probably in the minority here and everyone loves Rafael and Jane, but I’m just super NOT into this. It feels too sudden?
I just hope the show somehow manages to change my perception of them, idk.
31) If anything, Jane’s and Rafael’s recklessness has helped Xiomara and Rogelio become the grown-ups, so I’m thankful for that. They’re still over-dramatic and ridiculous, but they’ve proven they can adult like the best of them if the situation calls for it.
32) …well, for the most part…
33) I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!
I ship this more than I ship Rafael and Jane hahaha!
34) Okay…
I’m totally indifferent to this. *shrugs*
35) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!
#Jane the Virgin#Jane Villanueva#Gina Rodriguez#Rogelio de la Vega#Jaime Camil#JTV recap#JTV 1x07#mine#MTVSwatches
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Tsukki <3 is calling... | KuroTsukki, Slash, G, 1.7k
NaNoWriMo Day 28: Fic-ception
(aka fic about a fic)
Summary: A continuation of The Last Red Scribble by @doggonneit. Definitely necessary to read that before reading this~!
Read on Ao3
A/N: Couldn't help but write about doggoneit's adorable single parent au for this prompt. Please do read that before reading this one because it’s so worth it /)w(\ Unbeta’d because I’m tired. Mistakes galore especially since I'm not used to formatting chat fics like this /o\
Italics is Tsukishima.
Bold is Kuroo.
Regular text is Kageyama.
Tuesday PM
(5:11) Akiteru is bringing Tobio for class tomorrow because I have to work a late shift, but I’ll be able to pick him up afterwards.
(5:12) Please do not teach my son anything violent.
(5:13) tsukki!! so mean!!!
(5:13) i would never!!
(5:14) Surprisingly, you’ve yet to prove otherwise so please keep that up.
(5:14) see!
(5:15) can akiteru stay and watch? i could gossip with him about you more
(5:16) Do that and they’ll never find your bodies.
(5:17) do what? whose bodies?
(5:18) Glad you catch on quick.
(5:18) only for u babe <3
(5:20) Also I don’t think nii-san can stay tomorrow. He has something with a friend apparently?
(5:21) aw
(5:21) oh well
(5:22) see you and tobio tomorrow!
(5:24) See you.
Wednesday PM
Kuroo is calling...
“Hello?”
“Hey, so! I forgot to tell you when you came by to pick up Tobio earlier, but a little bird told me an embarrassing secret of yours...”
(muffled laughter)
“Who do I have to kill?”
“So violent!”
“I asked a question: Who do I have to kill?”
“Really, Tsukki? You’re gonna murder your own son? Your only offspring? The apple—I mean—blueberry of your eye? The –”
“Okay, I get your point, please stop talking.”
(sigh)
“What did Tobio say now?”
“Oh, nothing much... just that you reeeally liked me before we started dating.”
“I can hear you grinning over a verbal conversation. How is that possible?”
“Aw, baaabe! You didn’t deny it! You had a crush on me!”
“We’re already dating.”
“Still!”
“Dad, why is Kuroo-san making weird noises?”
“Because he’s weird.”
“Oh, Tobio’s there? Hi, Tobio!”
“Hi, Kuroo-san.”
“He just finished his glass of milk before bed so he came to say good night.
“Yeah.”
“That’s good, kid! Keep drinking milk and maybe you’ll be as tall as me one day! Anyway, Tsukki, don’t change the subject—you’re very cute and totally had a crush on me.”
“He really did.”
“Tobio!”
“See!”
“I think that’s enough from both of you now. Good night, Kuroo.”
“‘Night, babe! You too, Tobio! Have sweet dreams about me!”
(grumbling)
“I said good night!”
“Muah!”
“Good night, Kuroo-san.”
Saturday AM
(11:15) Was Tobio good today at volleyball this morning?
(11:16) hes a fuckin champ he watched kenma like a hawk the entire time he was teaching everyone how to set
(11:16) freaked kenma out tbh lol
(11:17) I meant if he behaved well.
(11:17) of course he did babe
(11:18) Tobios always well behaved for vball
(11:18) Thank goodness for that.
(11:18) why
(11:19) is he acting up in school again?
(11:19) No...?
(11:20) then whats up?
(11:20) Nothing.
(11:21) just looking out for my son, that’s all.
(11:22) omg thats so cute
(11:22) What? Caring for my child?
(11:23) That’s called being a parent, Kuroo.
(11:23) lol i know
(11:24) i mean how you worry for him
(11:24) make sure hes doing well and stuff
(11:25) That’s called being a *parent*, Kuroo.
(11:26) its called being a very sweet father who loves his son a lot
(11:28) Feeling sentimental, aren’t we.
(11:28) im just
(11:30) so glad im with a guy that really cares for his loved ones the way you do
(11:31) :)
(11:33) I
(11:35) I don’t know what to say to that.
(11:35) babe
(11:36) ur supposed to say something nice back to me now
(11:36) ...
(11:37) im waiting :3
(11:38) here all night if i have to be
(11:40) You are the most annoying person on the planet.
(11:40) :3c
(11:41) *rolling eyes emoji*
(11:41) Fine.
(11:45) I like how you can keep up with my humour, and how you treat Tobio.
(11:47) You’re very patient and considerate with the both of us.
(11:47) TSUKKI
(11:48) THATS THE NICEST THING YOUVE EVER SAID TO ME
(11:50) Ah, yes the good old “you’re a decent human being” compliment.
(11:51) Absolutely groundbreaking in societal niceties.
(11:52) YOU MAY AS WELL HAVE CONFESSED UR LOVE FOR ME
(11:52) ...
(11:52) !!!!!!!
(11:53) I’m not dignifying that with a response.
(11:54) LOVE U TOO BABE
(11:54) BRODOOOKUTOT
(11:55) TSUKKI TORLD ME HE ELOVED ME TODAY
(11:56) Do you always gossip like a middle schooler with Bokuto-san?
(11:57) IDEC THAT I TEXTEFD U BYA CCIDENT
(11:58) LOVE YOU!!
(11:59) *rolling eyes emoji*
(12:00) Love you too.
(12:00) !!!!
(12:01) <3
(12:03) <3
Thursday PM
(2:32) Kuroo?
(2:34) shimizu! whats up
(2:35) Tsukishima told me the news.
(2:36) Thank you *so* much.
(2:39) ... ur welcome?
(2:40) not sure for what exactly lol
(2:41) He told me you said you loved him.
(2:41) oh
(2:42) He also told me he said it back.
(2:44) um yeah
(2:46) its really easy to, u know?
(2:46) i fell very quickly :)
(2:47) And I thank you for that.
(2:48) why?
(2:51) I don’t remember if I told you this, but I was worried my decision to keep Tobio would affect Tsukishima’s future relationships.
(2:52) o ya you did say that
(2:53) i mean, tsukkis one of the most hardworking and caring people i know
(2:54) and its obvious he loves tobio a lot
(2:54) cant help but love him
(2:55) I’m glad you think so too.
(2:56) I may not love Tsukishima the same way but I’m sure you already know how much he and Tobio mean to me.
(2:57) i do
(2:58) thank you for letting me love them
(2:59) It’s not my place to be thanked.
(3:00) then its not mine either :)
(3:05) :)
(3:06) Please take good care of them.
(3:06) i promise
(3:09) take care in america!!
(3:10) Thank you.
Sunday AM
Tsukki <3 is calling...
“Hello? Tsukki?”
“Kuroo-san?”
“... Tobio? Is that you?”
“Yes.”
“Hey, buddy! What’s up? Why are you on your dad’s phone?”
“Dad’s sick.”
“Oh no! Is he in bed right now?”
“Yes. He’s asleep.”
“That’s good. He needs plenty of rest.”
“...”
“Hey, uh, Tobio, how did you call me? Are you learning how to read in school now?”
“Yeah, but also your picture is on Dad’s phone.”
“Really, huh! Do you remember which one? Can you check for me?”
(rustling)
“Uhhh, the one where you’re showing off your arm.”
(muffled)
“That just made my entire day, oh my god.”
“Kuroo-san? I can’t hear you because you’re talking too fast.”
“Oh, sorry, Tobio! Just got distracted. Anyway, was there a reason you called me?”
“Dad’s sick.”
“Yes, you told me, kiddo. Is Akiteru-san taking care of him?”
“Nuh-uh. Aki-jiichan had work. He said he was gonna get someone but since no one’s here yet I took Dad’s phone and called you.”
“Oh. OH! You need me to come over, Tobio?”
“Yes, please. I don’t know how to heat up my lunch.”
“I’m on my way, kiddo. I’ll check on your dad too, okay?”
“Okay. See you, Kuroo-san!”
“Bye, Tobio!”
Click.
Sunday AM
(11:49) tobio just called me bc tsukkis sick
(11:50) why didnt you tell me? i would be omw in a heartbeat
(11:51) I thought I did???!
(11:52) CRAP MY MESSAGE DIDNT SEND
(11:53) PLEASE LOOK AFTER KEI AND TOBIO, OH GOD
(11:54) already on it, akiteru-san
(11:57) send me their address please!
(11:59) Gotcha!
(12:01) Thank you Kuroo-kun!!
Sunday PM
Tsukki <3 is calling...
“Hello? Tsukki, already calling me? I just left your place –”
“Kuroo-san?”
“Oh, Tobio! Hey, kid, what’s up?”
“Thank you for coming.”
“Oh, it was no problem! I’m glad I could help!”
“Dad forgot to say thank you earlier so I’m calling to tell you.”
“Tobio!”
(rustling)
“Tobio? You still there?”
“Sorry about that. Tobio took my phone.”
“It’s fine. You got a smart kid there.”
“I’ve got a kid who’s out to make my life hell is what I got.”
“You love him though!”
“Wouldn’t trade him for the world. Still, I did not tell him to tell you I said ‘thank you’.”
“Great! So that means you can tell me yourself now!”
“Seriously, I cannot believe I can hear you grinning on a phone conversation. How are you doing that?”
“Doesn’t matter! Now tell me ‘thank you’!”
“No.”
“Please, Tsukki!”
“Dad, you should tell him ‘thank you’.”
“Listen to Tobio!”
“Quit it, both of you.”
(sigh)
“Um... thanks, I guess, Kuroo.”
“Laying it real thick there, Tsukki. It almost sounded like you weren’t having your teeth pulled.”
“You’re the one who asked!”
“You did, Kuroo-san.”
(muffled)
“Tobio, can you play in your room please? Dad’s gotta have a conversation with Kuroo-san.”
“Okay.”
(rustling)
“A ‘conversation’, huh? You’re voice still sounds too rough to be talking, you know.”
“I have tea with me right now, I’ll be fine.”
“Good! And you’re welcome, by the way, I was happy to help. You can call me next time too, you know? Instead of asking Akiteru to do it.”
“I told you I thought Yamaguchi was coming over. I didn’t know nii-san asked for you instead.”
“But he did and now you can too! So just, you know, ask.”
“... I don’t like depending on people.”
“I know, Tsukki, but I swear you and Tobio can count on me, okay?”
“You can’t promise that.”
“I can: I promise I’ll be there for you and Tobio. There, just did it.”
“You can’t guarantee that.”
“Maybe not, but I’m gonna try my hardest anyway.”
“... I couldn’t stop you even if I wanted, huh?”
“No.”
“Please stop grinning—I can still hear you.”
“Wanna see it?”
(8:01) *image attached*
“That is the derpiest look I’ve ever seen, oh my god.”
“Glad you like it!”
“...”
“...”
(sigh)
“I. I guess I’ll count on you... sometimes... or whatever.”
“TSUKKIIIII!”
“Don’t yell when you’re on the phone, jeez.”
“I love you!! You can totally count on me!! Tobio too!!”
“Oh god, what have I done? Whatever, it’s late and I have to put Tobio to bed still. Good night, Kuroo-san.”
“‘Night, babe!”
“‘Night... I love you too.”
“TSUUUUKKIIIIIIIII – !!!”
Click.
#kurotsukki#Kuroo Tetsurou#tsukishima kei#kageyama tobio#Shimizu Kiyoko#tsukishima akiteru#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#hq!!#nanowrimo 2018#week 5#tropes#au#slash#jercy's fic tag
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Why I Think Momo is Kickass and You should too
So with the emergence of the anime becoming more and more popular, of course the fan base is growing and growing, I would even say to heights like seen in Fairy Tail, Naruto, etc.
However, with the series getting more popular, you are stuck with more….negative opinions about the characters that in my mind are sometimes just not necessary.
Now, this blog is normally Ochako and Kacchako and I intend to mostly keep it that way but lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of negative posts towards Momo and frankly, I’m heavily displeased by this, especially since she’s one of the most well portrayed girls in the series and it’s really heartbreaking on my end to see posts that essentially dismiss her for more shallow reasons that don’t need to be here.
I mean to start this off, are we going to simply forget that she came into UA on a recommendation and was a student that made even All Might shook when asked why Iida was the winner of the exercise
or how, even though the class didn’t know her, she was still voted to be Assistant Class President?
or how she was able to act calm and rational during the USJ villain fight?
or how she still managed to get the top grade in the midterm exams and didn’t get it to her head but actually acted BENEVOTELY and helped her classmates who asked her for help?
or how it was HER plan that got Todoroki and her to win the exam that they were fighting in?
But ya know, because of her BODY, we’re going to ignore that right? We’re going to ignore how amazing and how smart she is simply because of her body.
I won’t lie guys, I’ve heard people complaining about her quirk and even saying how bad her quirk is designed when it’s like??? It actually makes a lot of sense why it’s like that since she does create large objects like shields, spears, A FREAKING CANON, like it makes sense for her to need to use fat call throughout her body to be able to achieve that look.
Which brings me to talk about her costume. Oh boy, this is the one that when I first entered the fandom, no one really said anything but now that the series is more popular, everyone has become experts on body proportions and quirk designs and apparently fashion design since her costume isn’t good enough for her.
I mean look at the costume design that Horikoshi put in for her and how he planned that all out for her
At some point, yes I understand, Horikoshi is a pervert, sometimes his intentions aren’t the best, I get that. But consider this, even though he had the ability to make Ochako’s and Tsuyu’s costumes completely perverted, he chose against that. He had the perfect opportunity to indulge in that yet he didn’t. What I love about Horikoshi is that he thinks about the practicality of the quirks and designs the costumes based on that as well taking into consideration the character’s personality and what they would want.
So guys, at some point, reality check moment: Momo is comfortable with her body enough to wear a costume that she deemed necessary for the usage of her quirk. And she chose that design for that outfit and has not said a word about this entire series. She even had an opportunity to create it to be more closed and she chose not to. MOMO CHOSE HER OUTFIT AND VIEWS IT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER HERO WORK.
In this moment too, I would like to share what even Midnight said during Episode 34 at the very beginning.
So another reality check: The only people who are saying it’s sexual are the people who are sexualizing her to begin with. Instead of viewing it as more of a practical thing that is designed for her quirk (which involves utilizing her fat cells and creating stuff through her skin), people begin to view as sexual and are condemning her for having a revealing costume. Which, to me personally, I find ironic since tumblr is filled with campaigns of free the nipple and the stopping of sexualization of breasts and female anatomy, yet look what’s happening here. People are taking her costume and saying she’s being sexualized for choosing a design that would give her optimal openness to use her quirk.
I mean look at how she used it in the Aizawa fight
Having that navel cavity helped her out immensely during this fight and she was able to create the alloy material in a much faster way with having access to areas where most of her fat is stored.
Which, I also heard people commenting on how Momo’s body doesn’t make sense and how skinny she is in comparison to her boobs (which I’ve seen that in real life, it’s not uncommon), but if you see in this spread
She actually isn’t the skinniest person in the world. Keep in mind that while she does use her fat cells to make stuff, she does also consume A LOT OF FOOD TOO to keep up with the level of activity too so she does get chubby sometimes so it’s a wrong assumption to think she has this INCRDIBLY PERFECT BODY WITH NO FAT when she does! Which only makes it only more natural and real!
Honestly, her entire arc in the beginning of the manga (or at least up into this exam point) has been so powerful, so realistic, and so amazingly well done.
I mean to consider, very similarly to Bakugou, while we haven’t gotten much of her backstory, given how she behaved in Season 1, we can have a somewhat assumption that she came from a great home and was well praised for her quirk. Obviously, her quirk isn’t one with a talent, she had to work immensely for it, but she must have been placed into situations where she was elevated and praised for how powerful her quirk is (like she was put in situations where she was able to be able to use her quirk to the fullest and not have much backfired).
Even Aizawa says this during their fight
Which does imply this isn’t a constant state she’s always been in, it’s one that has been gained since the sports festival (hence why the arguments that she should be shouldn’t be self confident are wrong).
Yet, with coming to UA and being in a hero course, after participating in the festival, well she starts to crumble and kind of doubt her abilities against the others
Like it starts off with her not getting a high ranking on the race
Then she mentioned the issue with the cavalry battle later on but definitely the heavy hitter for Momo was her fight with Tokoyami where she was left in shambles since she wasn’t able to make much on an impact on the fight itself (which this was amplified more in the anime than the manga itself).
Thus really bringing down her confidence. And now a lot of people screamed about how misogynist her hero training was and how demeaning it was which leads to 2 issues that some people forget about.
1. That there are multiple sides to being a hero. It’s not always the cookie cutter “fight villains, rescue people, rinse and repeat”. Even famous people in our society, even though their job is to act/sing/etc, they still go out and do publicity work and that’s what they do. It’s a part of being well known and using your abilities outside of the field you are in.
2. This was all part of Momo developing. This was just another way to bring Momo down a couple more notches. It’s a bit cruel and hard but this was a way for Horikoshi to get her out of her mindset and be exposed to something where her confidence could be lowered. Guaranteed if she was put into an actual hero training internship, she wouldn’t have been lowered as much as she did.
Which could lead the argument that it wasn’t necessary to have any of that stuff happen to her but consider, would she have gotten in this state if she didn’t have those things happen and accumulate?
And would she have gotten her confidence back from Todoroki/Aizawa and execute an amazing plan without that encouragement from those moments?
Probably not.
Ok this post is beginning to get way to long so I’m going to stop here before I go on and on and on about Momo. As much as Ochako is my best girl and I will forever sacrifice myself to her, even I have to admit Momo is utterly amazing and I only talked about what happened in the first 65 chapters. I didn’t even brush on how amazing she was during the invasion of the villains or how she managed to be a huge help in the rescue of Bakugou or even how kickass she was during the license exam (which she helped my princess Ochako and that pleased me so much). Momo is just more than the simple sexual object people are complaining her to be as, she’s an incredibly smart and amazing woman and Horikoshi put so much thought into her, more than what any of us could ever imagine. I am truly excited to see more of what she can do in the future and I hope she gains more fans since she truly deserves it.
TLDR; MOMO IS AMAZING, SEND HER LOVE YALL
#momo yaoyorozu#todomomo#todoroki shouto#aizawa shouta#bnha spoilers#uraraka ochako#katsuki bakugou#iida tenya#all might#toshinori yagi#midoriya izuku#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#yaoyorozu momo#lizwrites
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Still Watching: A Love Letter to my Mom
The content below has not been censored for your consideration as neither the Real Housewives nor my mother would have approved of such blasphemy.
The decline in blogging was conveniently intentional.
There were other projects.
My career as a TV critic wasn’t exactly gaining steam.
My readership technically wasn’t booming.
For a time there had been an unmistakable fulfillment in my blogging habits.
Full disclosure: this work held undeniable titillation, provoked as it were by the vain echoes of my own subconscious. It was too enticing not to indulge the ego, booming, unselfconsciously through the page as I “eloquently” deciphered probable intentions of a writer’s room.
But was this self-aggrandizing, albeit surely intellectually stimulating task truly worthwhile?
I kept falling back on this tricky notion of time management. Was taking copious amounts of notes regarding my viewing habits (a laborious task which required endless rewinds and thusly an inability to watch TV with others) coupled with the studious investment of actually researching and writing a cohesive piece which included a clear argument for television as a medium and thereby proving a consistent thesis, truly a valuable use of my time?
Not to mention, of course, the added effort of finagling my mother to invest her energies toward a strong copy-edit.
It was an investment, sure. But then again none of it was necessarily difficult at least in the classical sense of the word.
Actually, the engaging my mother bit was sort of easy. Not only was I skilled at the subtle art of stroking of her ego; “Your attention to detail is just so much better than mine. You are so smart…” I also possessed a valuable trump card which, admittedly, brought as much pleasure as my own voice: she actually liked my writing!
To have known my mother is to know what a huge compliment this fan-dom truly was.
My mother was proudly authentic. She had no shame over her inability to “fake it”.
This personality trait demanded a certain dedication on her part. She was famous for telling my girlfriends they looked like sluts at our eighth-grade dance and embarrassing fits at the market while her younger children tried to disappear into the kid’s seat of the shopping cart. Patronizing eye rolls were par for the course. When a third grade Hebrew School teacher lauded my literary skills my loving, supportive mother made it abundantly clear she didn’t think I was a bad writer but maybe just too… precious?
Admittedly, poetry about attempted genocide from an eight-year-old may hold some tonal issues.
No matter, after 30 years of practice I had found my niche. I was everything she seemed to be looking for in a writer: I would rather drink turpentine than emote and I like really “got” satire. Finally, my words were funny and thusly, the woman who had helped foster this cynical humor had little trouble understanding my intentions.
We fell into lockstep. Her killer, critical eye and unparalleled editing skills were a welcomed privilege. I was no longer precious. A trait which carried over in my ability to “take a note.” I fully understood the value of a critical red pen from a grammar die-hard. Particularly one, who not only had a deep ceded appreciation for my style (she helped cultivate it, after all) but also a keen understanding of the objective, which only a mother could boast.
I was fully aware what a priceless service this was.
And so, I kept watching. My notetaking became obsessive. Whenever I pondered this expense of time, I considered the reality: rewriting dialogue was improving my own. I was becoming a better writer.
Since both my mother and I were committing countless hours to the free and underappreciated service of my viewing recommendations, it didn’t take long for the shows and topics I bothered dissecting to be unequivocally dictated by her unapologetic tastes. Or better stated, my own experience of such.
As an aside, I’d be remiss not to note that in losing both my parents it has become abundantly clear that one’s guardians (especially good ones) mostly exist in relation to ourselves and our already noted inflated egos.
Basically, the television I studied, the theories I pondered, the conclusions I drew had to appeal in large part to Dale Allen Boland. This was a nuanced role. An honest woman of remarkable talent she also happened to be the strict television gatekeeper of my childhood. Back in the 90’s a desire for this blue light pulsed through my veins like an addict in search of her next hit. I hadn’t been picky at all back then. This was a time in my life when even Jerry Springer reruns in black and white, streamed through bunny ears in my Jr. High weight room took the edge off.
To be frank, while at first her editing felt crucial so as not to embarrass myself on the interwebs it soon became clear that the bigger part of my ask was just any sort of consistent audience. In time it became obvious that my mother hadn’t only become a fan, but she was, in fact, my blog’s only fan.
And as any good writer knows, you gotta’ appeal to your base.
It helped, of course, that my mother had been my earliest educator (dictator) of media. The San Francisco Chronicle’s Datebook and the New Yorker were mainstays next to the can, meaning my earliest poos were made all the more pleasurable by the accompaniment of Adair Lara and John Carrol. By 34 I was not only well versed in what she found tolerable, but also possessed a keen understanding of how to stylize this appeal.
Simpsons? Yes. Danielle Steele? Not so much. Had she given Danielle an opportunity? Of course not! But I was willing to play her game.
We both were expending a lot of energies at this point and since any real readership was in the slim to none margins it was crucial that we at least reward ourselves.
In retrospect I understand that this was actually how we enjoyed time together.
After she died my father noted that my mother and I had always shared a very special intellectual connection. A greater compliment than sharing a literary bond with Dale had never been given. In fact, in my father’s wake it is easy to see that this final gift from him may have been the most important. In saying so, he finally acknowledged what I’d always longed to hear. He respected, perhaps even envied not only my intelligence, but my mother’s too.
While I had given up on blogging years before their deaths, my diligent notetaking continued up until them. I accepted that my time critiquing television for free to a marginal audience had not been without purpose (though I missed the motive of the maternal connection it fostered until just now). I am well aware that through my efforts I had gained the confidence to write a novel. I understood that to maintain this skill set a continued attention to television’s minutia was critical.
But then, she died. Suddenly, grief allowed me space to achieve an entirely different and antithetical goal I’d set years earlier and had made no real efforts to achieve: to do less.
Finally I was able to let thoughts wave over me. I allowed flashes of “brilliance” to be fleeting. I relaxed into a space of agitated ease. I exclusively sought joy. In doing so I concurrently and without coincidence leaned into a brand of watching which had always been considered “just desserts.”
Bravo TV became a life raft. I watched Real Housewives and Summerhouse with a certain amused stillness I hadn’t exhibited since my complacent years as a co-ed.
The day following my mother’s memorial I listened to “Radio Andy” on Siris XM in a monotonous loop throughout the entire 6-hour drive home. I slept to Bravo podcasts. I read tweets from Bravo fan accounts during session breaks.
I noticed Bravo was keeping me smiling. The network and commentary was rewarding me with a source to which I could focus. I appreciated the humor.
Two months later my father died. Mind blank I leaned in harder to the quiet blankness this watching served.
But then, I noticed something.
Watching Kathryn Dennis of Southern Charm open a coke can with her teeth in a loudly expensive living room, next to her foam roller it occurred to me that these women were the antithesis of my own mother.
Vicky Gunvalson whooping it up at a classy resort represented everything my mother had no tolerance for.
To see these women as satirical requires a certain level of empathy for their antics that would have eluded Dale.
Their bad behavior was just too black and white. For my mom there would have been nothing charmingly relatable about a woman like Lisa Barlow of Salt Lake City, placatingly sipping a constant stream of fountain soda through a plastic straw while proudly bragging she wasn’t “like a regular mom,” proving this factoid by feeding her children drive through fast-food for every meal and ignoring their calls when she was at a party.
These are women that bat fake eyelashes and scream at each other through plastic pumped lips. They float effortlessly in azul pools in Mexico boosted by the silicone in their tits.
My mom also wasn’t a regular mom but she wouldn’t have found this indulgent brand of opulence at all inspirational, aspirational or relatable. She did not identify as a “powerhouse” or a woman who needed to tell other women that she “lifted up other women” over an expensive cocktail brunch with “40 of her closest girlfriends” all of whom wielded designer purses like coats of armor.
This trope, repeated often throughout every Housewives franchise for the past 20 years would have just pissed my mother off.
It’s not that she didn’t relate to women behaving badly this just wasn’t her brand of bad behavior. She maybe could have sympathized if they’d been wearing Walmart rather than Prada.
Lorelai Gilmore? Sure, why not? Emily Gilmore? Definitely not.
It’s funny because in a certain sense my mother’s proud authenticity and lack of shame in her outbursts would have made her an ideal housewife. But the weight these women put on things and beauty would have been too damn distracting to her.
In spite of being a woman whose love language was often a good screaming match she would have found any and all of the dramatic fights on Housewives absolutely insufferable.
And in spite of my deep love for the genre, convincing Dale that any of this was actually satire worth watching would have been an exercise in futility.
I embraced this factoid quietly and with little work on my end (other than setting the DVR to catch up on back seasons of Atlanta) I leaned into a space which never would have been tolerated.
It felt good.
It was my own.
In doing so, I came up with a million things about Bravo to share. Perhaps one day I will. God knows I need to create a new fan base.
But before I could even consider either changing the channel or sitting down to a blog analyzing how one housewife’s ludicrous and racist notion that eating chicken feet was somehow any different than eating chicken nuggets, I got this text from my mom’s best friend: “have you seen Derry Girls.”
Maybe an audience was asking for a resurrection, after all.
But as I flipped to Netflix and started a new note labeled “Derry Girls” it occurred to me that I first must come to terms with how much things have changed.
There is a certain level of self-actualization left amidst the cluttered grief of losing my parents. As I write this, I am continuously tempted to take a break for “Mom’s consideration”. Her feedback would have supplied an unrequited serotonin boost, like a gentle promise to my oh so evasive ego that there was purpose in my efforts, that the writing I was doing was valuable. When my mom was alive I always knew that someone would appreciate my continued efforts, making it tolerable to finish, and tidy, and publish. My mother was like a promise that not only my words but also I myself was worthwhile.
This chore of loving, maternal reassurance is, of course, now my own. A truth my mother, who never needed to brag about lifting up other women, would have celebrated.
Nothing would have made my mom happier than me making my own choices, editing my own words and being my own cheerleader Perhaps she died just to prove it. To know Dale Allen Boland is to suspend belief that she maybe could have made her last stubborn point through such dramatic means.
And to be totally frank; that is a storyline not even a housewife could pull off.
Thank you for being my greatest cheerleader. I love you Mom.
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