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slytherinslut0 · 6 months

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MATTHEO RIDDLE- Beg For Me

Chapter Twenty Three-Info:you and Mattheo have been butting heads for months, since you were assigned as his tutor, and one day during a session full of tense bickering, he has enough.

(This will essentially be a toxic book where we are Theos fucktoy. No love here, very minimal fluff.)

Tags: 18+, SMUT, Heartbreak, ANGST AF, Dirty Talk, PIV, Praise Kink, Slight Degradation, Semi-Public Sex.

FIND THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS HERE.

"Hello? Anyone home?"

Emily's voice echoed through the air of your dorm room, her eyes widening in disbelief as she took in your drenched appearance. There you stood, next to your bed, trapped in the labyrinth of your thoughts, most likely looking like you had genuinely lost your ever-loving mind.

At last, you jerked your head up, locking eyes with her. "Apologies, Em...I'm just utterly drained. Honestly didn't even hear you come in."

"Why are you absolutely soaked?" Emily's tone switched to an almost amused drawl, one you could tell she was attempting to suppress. Her eyes narrowed as she assessed your waterlogged state. "Weren't you with Mattheo?"

Your cheeks flushed under her scrutiny, and you shifted uncomfortably before responding. "Yeah," you admitted, your tone slightly sheepish. "It's a bit of a story, really...Malfoy essentially dared me to jump in the lake, and, well, I couldn't resist the challenge."

Amusement twinkled in Emily's eyes as she settled onto her bed, her curiosity piqued. "Well, that's one way to make a splash," she quipped, a playful smirk gracing her lips. "So, spill the details. Is there some progress being made with those arsehats?"

You cleared your throat, a nervous smile playing on your lips. "I'm trying," you confessed, your voice laced with uncertainty. "It's a work in progress, but I think we're getting there, slowly but surely."

Emily nodded knowingly, her lips curving into a smirk. "Well, if anyone can handle a bunch of mischievous daredevils, it's you," she remarked, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Just be careful, yeah?"

"Of course," you replied, managing a meek smile despite the uneasy knot tightening in your chest. "Where were you tonight?”

Almost instantly, Emily's demeanor shifted, her gaze darting away, fixated on her fingers as she nervously twirled her chapstick. "I, uh...I was with Tom," she stammered, her voice trailing off uncertainly.

A sudden wave of realization crashed over you, leaving you feeling as if you were adrift in a stormy sea. Emily was with Tom?

You blinked, struggling to find the right words. "You-"

"I think I like him," she confessed, the words emerging strained, as if pulled through clenched teeth, her eyes avoiding yours. "I...I think I really like him..."

Her confession hung in the air, heavy with tension, sending shockwaves through your entire being. Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat reverberating in the silence that followed. You stood there, motionless, breathless, your mind trying to grasp the reality of her revelation. What on earth was fucking happening?

Sensing your stunned reaction, Emily hurriedly left her bed, closing the distance between you two. Her eyes met yours, filled with regret and apology.

"I'm so incredibly sorry," she began, her words tumbling out in a jumbled mess. "I mean, on the night of the party, we connected, and we kissed, and I haven't been able to shake those feelings since...I know you and Tom have been seeing eachother for a while, and I've felt terrible about this whole situation...I'm the worst friend, and I can't believe I let it get to this point...I just...I understand if you hate me or never want to talk to me again-"

"Emily," you interjected, your voice breaking through the heavy silence, your shock slowly giving way to a strange sense of understanding. Despite the chaos in your own life, you couldn't muster any anger. In fact, her revelation felt like a bizarre twist of fate, a surreal kind of perfect. "Me and Tom...we were never anything...I've never had any genuine feelings for Tom, not like that anyway..." you confessed, your words hanging in the air. "It's okay, Em...it's seriously more than okay."

Her eyes, brimming with guilt, met yours. "No… it isn't," she murmured, her fingers absently pushing a strand of hair off her forehead. "I just...I feel like the world's worst friend...I've been keeping secrets and hiding things from you...and that's not like us...I genuinely bloody hate myself for this…”

Her words hit you like a sledgehammer, the weight of your own secrets crashing down on you. How could you judge her when you were harbouring your own tangled emotions for Mattheo? Guilt clawed at your insides, a bitter reminder of your own deception, making it impossible to feel anything but empathy for Emily's confession.

Gently, your touch on her arm was a soft plea for understanding. "Em, please be kind to yourself," you implored, your voice carrying the weight of your own inner turmoil. "I'm far from perfect, and I completely understand...you don't ever have to be scared to tell me anything, I'll always be on your side..."

The desire to confide in her about Mattheo tugged at your heartstrings, but a tempest of conflicting thoughts raged within you. You longed to unburden yourself, to share the intricacies of your emotions--yet, doubts clouded your mind.

You questioned the wisdom of revealing a truth that seemed destined for heartbreak; one that was destined to go no where, especially after Mattheo's own cautionary words. The fear of shattering the fragile semblance of normalcy you'd managed to maintain held you back, leaving you caught between the honesty you craved and the security of your well-guarded secret.

"You're the greatest friend...I don't deserve you," Emily released a long sigh, meeting your eyes softly. "Are you sure you're not upset? I swear I'll never fucking talk to him again if-"

"No! No, Emily...I'm not upset," you said, through chuckles. You were upset, but it had nothing to do with her. "I want you to be happy, Em...Dumbledore once told me that if someone makes you feel, let them..."

"Gods, that man could make a bloody brick wall tear up," she breathed, finally cracking a smile, as though you'd lifted a weight off her shoulders. "I have to say though...I just don't know how you didn't fall for him...I mean, his fucking eyes alone had me melting..."

You released a breath, unable to swallow your smirk. Yeah, his eyes were beautiful, but only because they served as a reminder of Mattheo's--whose deep brown pools were nothing other than completely fucking captivating.

"I know," you said, your voice distant, lost in your thoughts as you stared into the distance. "Tom is wonderful," you continued, your words almost a whisper, the syllables heavy with unspoken sentiments. "It's just that, my heart...it wasn't in it."

Emily's brows furrowed with realization, her eyes darting across your face as though she could read the unsaid words swirling within your irises. "Where is your heart, then?"

Emily's question hung in the air, patiently awaiting your response, but your thoughts were elsewhere, entirely consumed by Mattheo. His captivating eyes, that tousled brown hair, and his infuriatingly complicated demeanor dominated your mind. Despite his dangerous reputation, he had always been your sanctuary--from the way he protected you to the depths of pleasure he led you to, he ignited desires you were hesitant to acknowledge.

Since the day you met him, you had been drawn in, entangled in a web of emotions you couldn't escape. The fear of succumbing to your desires warred with the undeniable pull he had on your heart, leaving you submerged in a sea of uncertainty, unsure if there was a way out of the depths you had willingly plunged into.

Meeting Emily's eyes, you could only confess, "I don't know," your voice tinged with desperation, as if seeking an answer that seemed just out of reach. "I...I have no fucking idea anymore..."

Her face dropped, shock etching lines across her features as she took a few delicate steps back, studying your face intensely. The intensity of her scrutiny made you nervous, your heart pounding so loudly you could almost hear it. You knew she had just realized precisely what the fuck was going on with you lately. You knew she'd finally fucking cracked your code.

You looked away, unable to maintain eye contact, and in a hushed tone, she said, "oh, Gods no...you...he's-he's such an asshole..."

"Yes, he is..." tension gripped your entire being, your body vibrating with nausea as you struggled to find the words. You couldn't bring yourself to meet Emily's eyes, your gaze fixed on the floor as you whispered, "but there's still good in him..."

Emily's eyes widened in disbelief, her shock palpable as she struggled to comprehend your words. "You're going to destroy yourself trying to fix him," she said, her voice edged with desperation. A heavy pause filled the room before she continued, her voice quivering, "He's done terrible things, remember when he sent that poor third year into the infirmary-"

"We've all done terrible things, haven't we?" you shot back, finally looking up at her. The intensity in your gaze matched the fierce determination in your voice. "We're all just sinners judging sinners for sinning differently, but no one ever bloody stops to ask why..."

Your steps were slow, but deliberate, each one echoing with the resonance of your unwavering determination as you closed some of the distance between you and Emily. The intensity in your eyes burned brightly, reflecting the depth of your emotions.

You were acutely aware of how utterly insane you must sound, how irrational and illogical your words might appear to her. Yet, in the depths of your heart, you longed for her understanding, for her to grasp the complexities that lay beneath the surface. You yearned for her to realize that there was a profound depth to your emotions, a truth far more intricate than what met the eye.

"Yeah, maybe he's bad...maybe he's completely fucking terrible," you said, your voice carrying a potent mix of fervor and defiance. "But when he smiles…when I look into his stupid, big eyes...all I see is the good in him..."

A profound silence hung in the air, pregnant with the weight of your words. You gauged Emily's reaction, observing the flicker of disbelief and uncertainty that played across her features.

"I made a promise...to Dumbledore...to myself...to Mattheo," you continued, your voice unwavering, each syllable resonating with unshakable resolve. "A promise that I'd fucking stand by him...that I'd show him patience and compassion...who would I be if I gave up on that?"

"Yeah, but..." Emily's eyes widened, her throat tightening as she struggled to find words to counter your conviction. "He's...he's a monster..."

"He's broken," you retorted, your tone unyielding, the depth of your empathy for Mattheo underscoring your words. "I don't care what happens to me, Em...I am a woman of my word..."

Emily swallowed. "Your heart is far too pure...your heart is going to ruin your future..."

"So be it." You said, flatly, steeling your shoulders as you released a long breath. "I am coming for all the ghosts that have ever haunted him...I am coming for all the demons that twisted his dreams and turned him into the fucking nightmare that he is, and I am going to be theirs, instead."

Without waiting for Emily's response, you brushed past her, your heart racing with anxiety over the fact that you had essentially revealed the truth about your relationship with Mattheo. The weight of your confession hung heavy on your shoulders, but you needed to clear your head. Silently, you made your way out of the dormitory, the echo of your footsteps reverberating in the empty corridor.

The familiar path to the prefects' washroom felt like a lifeline, leading you to the one person who could provide the reassurance you craved. Just as you made your way into the hall, the door creaked open, and a familiar brunette exited, her sly grin sending a shiver down your spine as her eyes met yours. Recognition struck you like a lightning bolt--it was the girl from the library, the one who had been intimately close to Mattheo all those weeks ago. As she disappeared from your view, your stomach plummeted, anxiety tightening into a nauseating knot.

With your heart heavy and anxiety clawing at your throat, you mustered the strength to push open the door. Inside, you found Mattheo, leaning wearily against the sink. His eyes, usually filled with intensity, were dulled by fatigue. His head was bowed, and his shoulders slumped, burdened by the weight of unseen struggles. He remained fully dressed, his appearance reflecting the weariness that mirrored your own inner turmoil.

"What was that?" you questioned, your voice trembling, and your chin quivering with vulnerability, your eyes pleading for an explanation that might soothe the turmoil within. "I thought we were okay?"

The sight of that girl leaving the washroom shattered the reassurance you had desperately sought. Doubts consumed you, racing through your mind like a storm. Had your recent fight driven that big of a wedge between you and Mattheo? Was he seeking solace in someone else's company because he was done with you? The questions multiplied, suffocating you with uncertainty. Your voice emerged as a cracked whisper, breaking the tense silence that hung between you both as Mattheo slowly met your eyes.

"Are we ever bloody okay, Raven?" His voice, laced with a tinge of exhaustion, fell flat, his eyes dark and cold as they bored into you. The endless depths of his gaze seemed impenetrable, hiding any flicker of emotion that might have offered solace. "I'm not even sure what you're going on about, truthfully,"

"The girl," your voice wavered, your vulnerability laid bare, "the same one from the library all that time ago...I just saw her leaving."

Mattheo grumbled irritably, the tension in the room palpable as he pushed off from the sink with a heavy sigh, his movements betraying his exasperation. He spun around, the muscles in his jaw clenched, his eyes stormy with frustration as he leaned back against the counter. His arms crossed over his chest defensively, his entire posture radiating a mix of annoyance and defiance.

"That girl is nothing to me, Raven," he declared, his voice low and gravelly, the words carrying a hint of irritation as he tried to emphasize his point. "Nothing at all."

You desperately wanted to believe him, to cling to his words like a lifeline, but doubt gnawed at your insides, poisoning your thoughts. After everything that had transpired between you, after your last fight, and the way he was acting now, you couldn't simply brush it aside.

"Nothing, huh?" Your voice grew firmer, laced with a mixture of hurt and skepticism. "So it's just a coincidence that you two were alone in here...and that she was grinning ear to ear when she left..."

Mattheo blinked, his surprise evident as he processed your words. This jealousy was uncharacteristic of you, a stark deviation from your usual composed self. His features contorted with a mixture of confusion and frustration, his eyes narrowing and jaw clenching in response to your accusation.

"Do you think I fucked her, Raven?" His words hung in the charged atmosphere, heavy with hurt and disbelief. Each syllable cut through the air, a searing venom that struck your heart like a dagger. "Do you actually fucking think that low of me?"

The raw pain in his eyes mirrored your own, a painful reflection of the trust that had been shattered between you, the wounds now gaping wide open, begging for resolution.

"You don't trust me..." Mattheo's expressions hardened further, his eyes blazing with a mixture of frustration and hurt. The room seemed to shrink around you as he pushed off from the sink, his movements deliberate and forceful, closing the distance between you before you could react. "You don't fucking trust me, do you?"

You tensed, every muscle in your body coiling like a tightly wound spring, bracing for the emotional storm that was about to engulf you. Mattheo stopped abruptly, his instincts sensing your reaction, his intense gaze locking onto yours. Your breathing became shallow, your chest constricted, and time seemed to stretch into eternity as you stood there, suspended in the moment.

"I want to..." your voice wavered, a fragile whisper barely audible in the heavy silence, carrying the weight of your longing and doubt. "But...I just...can't, when there you are...directly in front of me, still so fucking far away..."

You took a moment to study his features, the turmoil in his eyes, the tension in his jaw, and the vulnerability that flickered beneath his anger. His chest rose and fell with every ragged breath, as though his heart was laid bare before you.

"A man with a shield for a heart, and a sword for a tongue," you continued, your voice a fragile thread weaving through the charged air. "How do I confide in that?"

Mattheo's eyes softened, just slightly, the storm within them giving way to a glimmer of sincerity. In that moment, he shed every ounce of hesitation, closing the space between you with an urgency that spoke volumes. His hands found your face, cupping it gently, forcing your eyes to meet his. The intensity in his touch, the tenderness in his gaze, told a story of its own.

"Raven...do you think I fucking care about anything other than you?" His voice, once sharp with frustration, now held a raw, earnest sincerity that cut through the lingering doubts and insecurities. "You're the only one I need...you're the only one that keeps me high..."

Your heart thundered in your chest, the sound echoing in your ears like a war drum, each beat reverberating with the intensity of his touch. His palms, warm against your cool skin, sent waves of heat through every inch of your body, cocooning you in a haze of desire and vulnerability. You blinked, your eyes unable to tear away from the depth of his stare.

"But?" you dared to whisper, your voice barely audible amidst the charged silence, the lump in your throat growing with each passing second. "I know you aren't finished, I see it in your expression..."

He stiffened, his hands slowly falling from your face, the loss of his touch leaving a void. His gaze, dark and intense, traced a path from your eyes down to your lips, the unspoken longing palpable between your bodies. The pain that hung in the air was almost tangible, the emotions that coursed through both of you reaching a fever pitch.

"When you close your eyes...when you think of this...of us, what do you see?" He whispered, his voice a mere breath, the words hanging in the air like a delicate thread. "Do you see a future, Raven?"

The question slammed into your lungs like a sledgehammer, stealing the very air from your chest. You had never truly considered what was going to happen at the end of the school year, but it was evident that he had, his eyes haunted by the uncertainty of the future.

You sucked in a lungful of breath, trapping it there, the oxygen feeling suffocating against the weight of his question. "I...I don't know..."

"Exactly," he murmured, his voice as soft as a breeze, but carrying the weight of an entire universe. "Something's telling me we're running out of time here, Raven...I always said I'd never deserve you, and I meant that..." he paused, averting his eyes only for a moment as he threaded an unsteady hand through his hair. "If we keep this going...something's bound to give...I can't let you throw away your future for me..."

You stalled, pain rushing through you. This whirlwind of emotions felt like a chaotic storm, each moment with him a battle between your hearts, oscillating from fiery arguments to heartbreaking distance. The constant push and pull had left you emotionally battered, but this time, the pain cut deeper than ever before.

"No...Mattheo...I..." your voice stammered, trembling with the intensity of your emotions. "I would much rather be nowhere with you, than somewhere without you..."

He stiffened, his entire being seeming to freeze in response to your words. "No, Raven, come on...don't fucking say that," he hissed, his voice laced with desperation. "You will not throw away your future for me...for whatever this is...you have to know that is fucking insane..."

"Mattheo, why?" you whispered, your voice breaking as you took a step closer, your heart aching with the weight of his decision. "Why are you doing this...I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for everything I said...I didn't-"

"It's not about that," he cut you off, his tone soft yet resolute. "It's not about any of that. We both know this only ends in blood...why prolong it...I’d never be able to live with myself if I ruined everything you’ve worked so hard for…”

Your chest ached, a visceral pain that radiated through every fiber of your being, your eyes darting all over his face as though seeking solace in the contours of his skin, as if something tangible could save you from this nightmare. He was right. Of course, he was absolutely fucking right. There was nothing you could say to deny his words, the harsh reality of your situation hanging heavy between you.

"I know you're right Mattheo," gently, you brought a trembling hand up to his face, your thumb brushing over his cheek as you cupped the side of his head, your own head tilting slightly as you glimpsed his lips, whispering with a vulnerability that laid bare your soul. "But even if it's meant to fall apart...I still fucking want you..."

"I know," he murmured, his breath warm against your skin, his lips hovering just millimeters from yours. "I fucking know..."

"I'm scared as bloody hell, Mattheo..." you continued, your fingers digging slightly into his skin, his hands seeking refuge on your hips as he pulled you closer against him. "I'm fucking terrified to want you, yet here I am anyway..."

"I'm scared too, Raven..." he confessed, his voice barely audible, pulling you impossibly closer, your bodies melding into one another. "Godric fucking forbid I ever admit it..."

His lips brushed against yours, soft and tender, a delicate touch that held the weight of a thousand unspoken words. In that moment, you knew, without a shadow of doubt, that you two were one and the fucking same. He was more yourself than you ever were. Whatever your souls were made of, his and yours were intertwined in an indescribable connection.

"Give me this before you go..." you whispered, your free hand gripping his shirt for dear life, your voice laced with desperation and longing. "Please..."

Mattheo pulled back slightly, his eyes scanning your face, searching for any sign of hesitation or uncertainty. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," without a moment's hesitation, you nodded, your eyes locked onto his, your conviction unwavering. "I'm sure."

In an instant, he pulled you back into him, his lips crashing onto yours in a searing kiss, the intensity mirroring the state of your crumbling relationship. His hands, strong and sure, quickly slithered up your sides, finding the buttons on your shirt.

Simultaneously, your trembling fingers mirrored his movements, undoing his shirt with a fervor that matched his own. The kiss deepened, your mouths melding together in a desperate attempt to drown out the world, seeking solace in each other's touch as you shed the barriers between you. The passion between your bodies consumed every ounce of your being, a wild, untamed force that pushed back against the chaos threatening to tear you apart.

As soon as the two of you were freed of your uniforms, Mattheo pulled back, his gaze intense, his eyes smouldering against your skin as he urged you to your knees in front of him. Without a word, you obeyed, staring up at him with a widened gaze, tracing the features of his face and chest that you admittedly loved so fucking much. Mattheo's eyes were doing the same, flickering over your curves, the swell of your breasts, the flare of your hips, until finally, they came to rest between your legs.

“You’re fucking beautiful…” he brought a hand up to your chin, tilting your head back to bring your eyes to his, the pad of his rough thumb tracing over your bottom lip, tugging it down slightly before releasing it. “Don’t you think I’d chose some other bitch over you ever fucking again.”

Breath evaporated as he dropped down to his knees in front of you without warning, directing you to lay back, your head resting on a stack of clean towels.

The cool tile of the floor made your back arch and your body shudder as Mattheo loomed over you, his fingers tracing delicate patterns over your thighs as he hovered mere inches above your skin. Each touch was soft, almost reverent, as though he was worshipping every inch of your body. As he leant down to kiss you, his lips were tender yet demanding, his tongue sweeping over yours in a fierce, fiery embrace. You groaned into his mouth, your hands finding his hair and gripping tightly, until he broke the kiss and began to move lower.

His eyes travelled down your neck, reaching your chest where your breasts rose and fell with each exasperated, eager breath. His mouth descended upon one of them, suckling and teasing with skillful precision, making your head dizzy with burning need. It was as though he was worshipping at a sacred alter, paying homage to the very essence of your womanhood, his nails digging into your skin, chaining you to him with more restraint than any bloody shackles ever could.

His tongue traced spirals around your nipple, sending little shocks of electricity straight through to your core, and you mewled, back arching into him and grip tightening in his hair, silently begging for more. As expected, Mattheo delivered, lavishing attention on each peak in turn, flicking his tongue, sucking, and teasing until you were practically crying for release.

"Matty...please…" you whispered as his lips moved lower, tracing a path of heat toward your sex. "There's no time...someone could come in..."

"Eager girl..." Mattheo hummed, smirking against your skin. "Told you you'd love the way I fuck you."

Unable to suppress it, you smirked at his normal arrogance as he pulled back slowly, your eyes following his every move as he freed himself; letting loose that delicious, familiar groan from deep in his throat as he pumped his shaft a few times, his gaze darting over your body, desperate and writhing beneath him--each meticulous movement he made causing an insatiable tingle within your core.

"Mhm," you murmured, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as your hands grazed over his strong biceps, feeling the muscle tense and contract beneath your touch. "That's what I love...the way you fuck me..."

Mattheo blinked, meeting your eyes, a wicked smile creeping across his lips as he processed what you'd just said. The underlying message in your words went unspoken despite their intentions hanging heavy in the air, and without a word, he slid his free hand down between your legs, shifting your panties to the side before he gently teased and swirled over your clit, making you moan out his name without even realizing it.

"My filthy little girl..." the anticipation was almost unbearable, you were fucking dripping for him and he'd hardly even touched you. "Always so fucking eager for me…”

Inching forward, he aligned himself with your core, leaning down over you, a strong arm taking purchase beside your head, caging you beneath him. As he pushed inside you, the stretch was unlike anything you'd ever fucking felt--the lack of foreplay resulting in a sensation unlike anything else, a perfect blend of agony and ecstasy, as if he was stretching you open and shaping you just for him.

You whimpered softly, doing your best to muffle your noises as Mattheo pushed deeper and deeper, pausing for a moment once he'd fully seated himself inside your heat, giving you a second to adjust to his thick, throbbing length--his eyes never once left yours, his gaze drilling into you as he assessed your reactions, only breaking the eye contact to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

"So fucking tight...fuck-you feel so fucking good..." Mattheo growled lowly, his voice thick with lust--your walls clenching and relaxing around him simultaneously. "Such a good girl, Raven...feel yourself adjust for me, baby."

His voice had a hypnotic effect on you, calming your racing heart and making you focus solely on the feelings coursing through your body. The pain was gone, a mere figment of your imagination as you revelled in the closeness of your bodies, his hot skin on yours, breathing eachother in, your mind reeling with the thoughts of this being the last time--something you'd both said many times before.

But for some reason, this time felt different. This time felt real.

"Fuck me, Matty..." you whispered, nails digging into his back as if trying to anchor yourself to this moment, to him. "Fuck me like you're going to lose me."

"Fuck...am I, Raven?" Mattheo groaned in response, meeting your eyes with an intensity that took your breath away, slowly beginning to increase his pace to your desires. "Am I going to fucking lose you?"

Mattheo's thrusts became harder and more aggressive as his movements grew more frenzied, his mind getting lost in the haze of lust swirling between you. The sounds of his skin slapping against yours filled the room, matching the sound of his heavy breathing, a whirlwind of emotions coursing through the air.

"N-no, Matty..." you choked, feeling the pleasure building within you like a storm waiting to break. It was almost too much, and you found tears on the verge of exploding from your fucking eyes. "You couldn't...even if you tried..."

"Fuck...I know..." he hissed, the words forced through gritted teeth as he met your eyes, your nails certainly splitting the skin on his back, shredding it raw. "I always know exactly how you feel when I'm deep inside you like this...those eyes don't fucking lie..."

You gasped, the words unable to form as Mattheo pulled out almost completely before slamming back in, hitting that deep place inside your body that made you cry out in toe-curling pleasure. His face was twisted into an intense frown, growling in concentration as he fucked you harder, faster, hitting places you didn't know possible.

"You love this cock, don't you?" Mattheo growled, knowing full well the answer. "You're so fucking wet for me."

"Oh...yes, I do-" you squealed, burying your reddened face back into the crook of his shoulder, pleasure ricocheting through every ounce of your body as his fingers slid down your stomach, quickly teasing over your clit. "Fuck-Matty...oh..."

"You want to cum for me, pretty girl?" he growled, nibbling at your earlobe as he shifted his position, drilling deeper into you. "Let me feel you..."

"I-I want..." the words wouldn't form. Nothing would articulate inside your brain. Yes, you wanted release, but that's not what you were trying to say here. You wanted him, you wanted this, you wanted all of it, never to end. But as he swirled your clit with rough, aggressive strokes, your brain was mush, succumbing to nothing but his touch. "I-I want you...in...I-"

"I'm in you, Raven..." a grunt when he slammed into you--his voice tight, strained, almost pained, lips pressed against your temple. "I'm so fucking deep in you..."

Another shift, and he was striking your cervix with every thrust--and the pain was enough to pop the balloon in your chest. Tears streamed down your cheeks, the pending heartache and insecurity finally breaking through the dam of emotions you had kept bottled up for months. The weight of it all was too much, overwhelming you in a tidal wave of despair. Mattheo's movements remained unyielding, his pace unfaltering, but he was swift to kiss away your tears, his own breath hitched in anticipation of the climax that was about to consume both of you.

"Oh-fuck...Matty..." only a few more thrusts, and you were there, teetering right on the edge of coming undone. “Oh…”

He growled. “Cum for me angel…fuck-“

"Yes-yes, fuck..." you keened, dragged through your climax without question, euphoria tearing through you as your walls pulsed and milked his cock.

He groaned, gripping you tighter as he poured himself into you, hips bucking until the only sensation left was sweaty, heaving, post-orgasmic rapture. And despite that, you held each other, unwilling to move, unwilling to let the other person leave the safety of the embrace.

It was a long moment--long after your breathing had returned to normal, long after you'd both dripped sweat onto each other's skin--before he moved, rolling off of you, gaze roaming your figure. You wiped your damp cheeks with the back of your hand, not daring to make eye contact with him as the two of you slowly began to redress, an awkward silence filling the air.

After both of you had regained modesty, Mattheo’s eyes locked onto yours, his unspoken emotions echoing in the intensity of his gaze. Without uttering a single word, he pulled you into him, his arms enveloping your body, holding you with a grip that felt as if he never wanted to let go, suffocating your lungs in the best way possible. As his hand moved to cup the back of your head, his fingers intertwining into your hair, you felt his throat bobbing against your temple as he swallowed, his vulnerability laid bare in the gentle caress of his touch.

“That girl,” his voice was a low murmur, as though he feared shattering the fragile moment, “she asked me to the masquerade this weekend…I said no.”

You chewed your cheek, your fingers clinging onto his shirt with force, your voice trembling as you responded, “You should go...it might be good to redirect the attention off of us…your friends seem suspicious.”

“Oh, they are…” he chuckled, his hand absentmindedly petting your hair, his touch comforting and reassuring. “But I told Nott to ask you, and only Nott, so if any of the others approach you about it, let me know.”

Your cheeks burned at the revelation, his laughter vibrating through your body, your heart skipping a beat in response. “You told Nott to ask me to the masquerade? Why?”

“He’s the only one I trust not to be a fucking pig,” he replied, his tone flat and honest. “Pretty sure Zabini or Malfoy would try to get you under them before the night even started.”

You huffed, a smirk playing on your lips as you pressed against his chest. Taking a moment to revel in his scent, his cologne, his body heat.

“Is this really it for us, Mattheo?” you murmured, your voice laced with a hint of desperation. “I mean…am I just supposed to be your friend, now? Your mentor? Your tutor?”

“Maybe we just take a break, hm?” he suggested, his voice dropping, his gaze softening as he met your eyes. “Maybe just until the suspicion dies off…until we both have had some time to cool down.”

“I…okay,” you said, your eyelids fluttering as he released you, the weight of the situation sinking in. “I can work with that.”

The acceptance in your voice was laden with bittersweet resignation, a temporary reprieve in the face of an uncertain future.

————————

Chapter 24->

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 5 months

Text

Pretty like the sun

Previous part / Next chapter

a/n: the follow up chapter AND This is pretty like the wind series spin offs. This can be read as standalone all you need to know is that Azriel has two adoptive kids with OC - Zofie and Axel. Future stories related to them might include stories specifically decided to Azriel hence why I am taging it as Azriel story too. Don't come at me please. ✨ We have Az pov in this😌

warning: mention of labor, past trauma that's all. I think...

They are of age in this story. Young adults!

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Nyx's POV:

The side lake cabin was where Nyx had taken her. He wasn't sure why that place was the first thing that came to his mind. But it was the furthest place from Velaris and something deep within Nyx screamed that they had to get away. Wrong choices you are making, my boy. Nyx tightened the muscles in his jaw. It was an odd feeling. Having her here was both a relief and a worry.

Zofie was, as Nyx had come to learn, pretty out of it. Most of the time, when her power flared up, she would be left drained and emotionless. Just starting at something ahead of her, till her mind regained enough strength. Nyx still remembered when Rhys brought both her and Axel from the sanctuary. She whined from the pain her body had been in. When Madja and everyone else had left, Nyx had reached up to take her hand. His veins had turned inky black as an overwhelming wave of emotions crashed into him. He had pulled away at first, worried that he had done something wrong, but the frown on Zofie's forehand had eased. It had taken him one look at his palm to know. So he sat there for hours, holding her hand, till his bones ached. Till the light pink sheen returned to her skin.

Nyx had taken her straight to the bathing chamber. With one flick of his wrist, the hot water was pouring out of the installations on the wall. He shrugged his jacket off, not too keen on getting the leather wet. But... Nyx, you're walking on eggshells. But you felt like a cube of ice in his hands. He had tried to keep a conversation going as he flew, but she didn't respond, not even once. So he let her listen to the sound of the wind without any distractions. Now he pushed Zofie backwards carefully. Hands holding her forearms to steady her. The warm water crashed over her. Soaking her hair and body. She let out a deep breath. As if coming up for air. Her hands clasped his biceps. "Nyx," she breathed out, and fuck if it wasn't the prettiest sound. He hated when others called out for him. But not her. He could listen to... Nyx! He carefully brushed some of her black hair away from her face, tilting her head up so he could see her eyes. She blinked up. The black still rimmed the very edges of her golden eyes. "I'm here, Sunny; I've got you," he muttered, bringing her closer to his chest. Zofie's arms snaked around his torso as warm water crashed over them both. Their clothes stuck to their skin. Nyx's shirt cringed to his toned body, leaving very little to the imagination as the white material got translucent. His hands made quick work of Zofie's skirt. Her soaked skirt had to be heavy. So his hands made quick work of the buttons and string before the material hit the floor with a thud. Nyx, for fuck sake... His eyes didn't linger. Well, they did. But only for a moment as her toned legs came into view. Self-induced torture—that's what this was. But he pushed all of his thoughts aside. Letting the water drown it out too.

Neither of them had an idea of how long they stayed there. The room was fogged up and so humid that water was trickling down the walls. Their fingers had grown pruney, and Nyx managed to shift in the meantime, with no wings on display now. Zofie blinked a couple of times, pulling her face back from Nyx's chest. Her findings trailed down his side. Side. She could see the ink covering his ribs. Ink she hasn't seen before... And then the most beautiful golden eyes finally met Nyx's purple ones. "When did you get this?" Zofie's dainty fingers touched the damp material, right where you could just about make out the new tattoo. "Are you checking me out, Zof?" , Nyx teased as his eyes too fell on the new addition. Zofie let out a huff, "I'm not, but..." her eyes didn't leave the somewhat flower-resembling line work. "You used to tell me about things like this." And he did. They talked a lot when they could.

It of course changed a lot when he had to go to the camp so they could train, but... How was he meant to say that he was miserable the second time they had to go back? He was so fed up, and all he could think of was her and Axel had laughed at him and...

"We stole a couple of bottles of wine in the camp and woke up with these," Nyx admitted. Zofie's eyes grew big. "We... Axel and you?", she questioned. Nyx's lips curled upward. Zofie didn't need to hear him say it; she knew that she was right as it was, "Mom would freak out if she knew." Her voice was low as she shook her head. "Hence why you won't say a word," Nyx booed her nose, making Zofie pull back slightly with a scowl. "Are you okay to step out?", Nyx asked softly, his hands still holding her. He watched as Zofie slowly realized where they were. Water. Steam. Her frozen body feels limber. So she simply nodded her head.

They separated to change, but not before Nyx pulled out some of his clothes for Zofie to wear. "We can go back", her soft voice filled the main room of the cabin. This had to be the smallest house his parents owned. All it had was a rather big bathing chamber. A tiny kitchen and the rest of the place was occupied by the bed and huge windows. Nyx said nothing at first as he tossed some more wood into the fire.

"We're not going", his voice was calm and collected. Zofie crossed her arms over her chest and said, "I need to go home. Papa will be mad, and my mom just gave birth; it's not...", she rambled on, clearly getting frustrated by the situation now that her emotions had settled.

"Then why were you by the bank?", Nyx cut in quickly, making the girl in front of him stutter. Her eyes grew wide for a split second before she narrowed them down, "I could ask you the same thing." Here she was. His little flicker. Nyx smirked slightly, "Don't argue with me, darling." Pushing Zofie's buttons was one of his favorite things to do, ever since he learned that he could rile her up enough to make her cheeks heat with crimson he had used it to his advantage. She huffed at the nickname she hated. "Or what? You'll stomp your foot, and your dad will come running," she snarled. That line of frustration took over, but her soft heart was too gentle for this, so the moment the words left her mouth, her palm came up to cover her mouth.

"I'm sorry," Zofie muttered through her fingers. She knew that there were times when the princeling hated his relationship with Rhys. The court. The high lordship had put endless pressure on him while he was left to smile at it all. "My dad has been barking in my head every since I got you here," Nyx admitted as he walked closer to her, "But I ain't bringing you to anyone until you tell me what happened." His tone was soft. It was always soft when he was talking to Zofie. The girl let out a sigh. A deep one. A painful one and Nyx couldn't help but frown.

"Hey, you and I, remember?" The line had been a joke when they were little. The two had plotted to steal the rest of Nyx's birthday cake. It was a ride-or-die kind of deal. But the line stuck. And ever since, it has been Zofie and Nyx. She nodded at his words. But her mother stayed silent - still too exhausted to talk it out.

"Come on, lay down with me," Nyx muttered. He sounded desperate. Zofie shook her head immediately, "We can't. We shouldn't." Nyx knew that she mostly feared his scent mixing with hers. Their parents had lived long enough to catch them if they weren't careful. "Why not, as if I'm going to undress you and kiss you all over?", Nyx muttered with a smirk. Zofie let out a gasp, hitting his chest. "Nyx," she muttered with a chuckle. "I made sure my dad heard that too", he whispered, and Zofie huffed in return. She knew that the high lord's family had mind-to-mind communication. "Nyx, for the love of mother, what sick joy do you have of pissing your uncle off?" She was well aware that both Azriel and Nyx had been snarling at one another for as long as she could remember. But in the past couple of years, it has grown increasingly worse. "Someone needs to keep him on his toes. Uncle Cass and da-Rhys had gone too soft," Nyx shrugged his shoulders as he tugged at Zofie's hand, pulling her closer to the massive bed.

"Come on, I don't bite," he said, urging her to follow him. "I can smell your magic on you," Nyx muttered as she climbed in next to him. She had always been a massive cuddle bug. He had always hated it. His mom had smothered him without stopping. Rhys was no better. The older he got, the more suffocating it became. "Is that bad?", Zofie asked, pushing her long black hair over one shoulder. Nyx loved her hair—not just her hair, but...Nyx, composure tactics?

"You're stressed and sad, so you smell like a rotten grape," he breathed out jokingly. Zofie gaped at him. "Oh, fuck you," she huffed, turning to get out of the bed she had only settled in, but Nyx caught her hand with ease. "I'm kidding, Sunny", he breathed out with a chuckle, she didn't fight him on it. "You're so childish...", "I thought you liked your boys wild," Nyx winked at her, making Zofie shake her head.

"Can you at least let your dad know that we are okay so my mom doesn't have to worry?" His lover girl, aways think of others. Nyx tugged her one more time, enough this time for her to settle against his chest. "Believe me, he knows." Nyx was rather surprised as to why Rhys hadn't shown up. It would take him no effort to winnow here. His wards were triggered when Nyx entered the cabin, so the high lord wouldn't even have to spend time wondering where they went.

"When are you going back?", Nyx drew his attention back to the girl when her voice filled the quiet space. He also knew what she meant. Back to the camp. If not for YN going into labor, they wouldn't have been back at all. They still had a week there before the break. "Not sure; family emergencies can earn you a couple of days," he breathed out. The weight of Zofie against his chest felt so soothing. She nodded against his chest. Her eyes were no longer open. Her body slowly eased, and once her last bits of self-restraint began to fade, Nyx felt that overwhelming pinch, and the emotions that slipped past her shields poured right into him. Nyx closed his own eyes, letting the sensation ease. "That will do," Zofie muttered, her hand moving to lay on his side, right over the tattoo she had discovered today. "It'll have to, sunshine. We will have to make it count," Nyx muttered, leaning to press a loving kiss to her forehead before the two drifted off to sleep.

Azriel's POV:

He had been on edge for a while. You had been laboring for the past two days before the baby was finally here. No one had prepared Azriel for the fear that would be eating him alive while he watched you labor. You were a fighter. Always had been, but even you couldn't hide the agony. The white, cotton-like snow fell heavily on the grass outside. Such a calm season for such madness to be unfolding. Never had he thought that he would have a winter baby.

Azriel felt so fulfilled as he held Novie in his arms. A father. He felt so blessed to be in a position where you two could conceive. You both knew your chances of getting pregnant were higher based on the fact that you both had Illyrian blood running through your bodies. At least partly. Hence practically no trouble doing so, and well, the practice weeks, as Azriel loved to call them, hadn't stretched all that far.

Now she was here, and she was perfect. Another perfect girl. Her tiny, black-feathered wings were tucked against her back. She was a perfect mix of you both. Azriel had held her for hours before he made his way downstairs. With you asleep and the baby in Axel's arms, he needed a moment to breathe and eat, considering that he hadn't swallowed a single bite in quite a while. That's when he found his mother with troubled eyes. Cassian was standing there too. The protector within the spymaster stirred. And all hell broke loose when Cassian finally spoke.

"Rhys, I swear to fucking holy mother," Azriel had winnowed straight to the river house. "Pour yourself some scotch," Rhys pushed the glass bottle toward his brother. He would celebrate the birth of his daughter if his first daughter wasn't missing. "Fuck yourself with your scotch," Azriel growled, leaning forward. Rhys held his gaze before bursting into fits of giggles, "Well, aren't you a walking ray of sunshine?"

Azriel growled. He wondered how he would cover up the murder of the high lord if he had to and who would side with him when his last straw would break. "Tell him to bring her back," Azriel pointed a warning finger at Rhys. His nephew had gone too far. Way too far. It was one thing to bump into Zofie. Another thing was to kidnap her. Well, he hadn't kidnapped her exactly, but it was close to it. Semantics.

"Azriel," Rhys breathed out. "They are safe," the high lord said reassuringly. "She's safest with me," Azriel bit back, feeling the anger simmer. Zofie had never done something like this. Hasn't just taken off running. What if she couldn't control her powers? What if something bad had happened? And what had happened to make her do something like this?

"Well, considering that she ran away," like a bull's eye, Rhy's words hit the target. "Don't you give me shit for it," Azriel growled every word in a warning, his wings spreading behind him, and Rhys instantly stood to match him. God, if you were here, you would call them fucking peacocks.

"Yn is asleep; she won't know that Zofie isn't spending a night in the house," Rhys said firmly. And fucking thankfully, you were asleep because there was no way Azriel was going to let you worry about this. This had to be fixed. Fixed before you felt that something seemed off.

"Rhys," Azriel pleaded this time. "Azriel, Nyx will never do anything to hurt her, and you know it," Rhys said in his deep, high-lord tone. No more games; he was just as pissed. "They are too young," Azriel muttered. Yes, they were almost certain the two of them were mates. Rhys had said that he saw the bond flicker a couple of times. But they were too young. This was moving too fast. Zofie had just had her first bleed. No way was Azriel letting that boy toy snatch her off like that. And who even knew if he was serious enough about her?

"They are young, yes, but they are both of age to start exploring," Rhys muttered, "Or are you planning on keeping that poor girl in a cage?" The room died down in a heartbeat. Azriel could see that Rhys regretted the last words as soon as they left his mouth. That topic was always gonna be painful for him. The way you were raised. The way you were hurt was always gonna be painful him. And to know that Rhys. Rhys of all people was referring to him in that way. Suggesting that Azriel was off doing the same thing... "Azriel, I'm", but before Rhys could even start to apologize, Azriel was gone.

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Taglist: @sirenpearldust @historygeekqueen @hnyclover @i-am-a-lost-girl16 @naturakaashi if you asked to be tagged and I forgot do let me know. ✨🤍

#nyx x oc #nyx imagine #nyx x reader #nyx acotar #nyx acotar x oc #nyx acotar x reader #azriel acotar x reader #azriel acotar imagine #azriel x reader #azriel x oc #azriel x you #azriel spymaster #azriel imagine #azriel shadowsinger #acotar imagine #acotar x reader #acotar x you

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markster666 · 3 months

Text

KINKTOBER (Except in February) - ALASTOR X READER - DAY #6 (Overstimulation)

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Tags: Kinktober, One-Shot, 18+, Smut, NSFW, Not a lot of plot, pet names, overstimulation, teasing, pet names, Dom!Alastor, Sub!Reader, etc

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Word Count: 529

A/N: Enjoy! MDNI, please. Not edited, so apologies for any spelling mistakes.

"Alastor, can I see you alone for a bit?"

"Of course, my dear! Please, let's find a quiet spot where we can chat in private."

He led you to a very secluded corner of the hotel. He towered over you, letting you lean against the wall adjacent to him. His ears flicked.

"So, what's on your mind? I'm all ears."

"R-remember the last time me and you... you know..."

He raised his eyebrow at you expectingly.

"...had sex?" You squeaked out.

He smirked mischeviously.

"Of course I do, my Dear, why are you bringing this up now?"

You whimpered lightly, crossing your legs over each other, trying to hide your heat.

"I-I've been craving you again for awhile. I'm loosing patience and..."

He cut you off immediately by crashing his lips into yours. His ears furrowed back in pleasure as he continued his assault on your mouth. You moaned into the kiss as he started nipping at your lip gently. He broke away just as fast as he latched on. His voice was filled with pure radio static.

"Oh how i've been WAITING for you to come to me again."

With a few swift movements, he undressed you with his tentacles. You gasped at the sudden temperature change, going from the warmth of your clothes to the chill in the air. He pressed his body against you, and suddenly the cold didn't matter.

"I'm going to make you feel like a fucking God."

He turned you around so you were flush against the wall, facing it. You arched your back in anticipation, not able to process how fast he was going. He slapped your ass once, earning a loud yelp from your throat. You heard him unbuckling his pants from behind you, waiting in anticipation.

He didn't even give you a second to adjust as he slammed his full length into you. You screamed out in pain and pleasure as he wrapped his hand around your throat, squeezing the sides to stop you from making any further noise. You started to feel fuzzy as the blood flow to your brain decreased.

He started bucking into you at a rapid place and you were nothing but braindead. You mouth hung open, your hands pressed against the wall and he pounded into you over and over again. His growls flooded your ears.

He reached around and started playing with your clit as he continued to mount you. You felt your walls constricting against his cock. You couldn't think of a single coherent thought. This was all too much for you to handle. He was hitting all the right spots in you.

"You look soooo good when you're braindead for me, my Dear."

You whimpered lightly in response, feeling your knees buckle from underneath you as the pleasure was way too overwhelming. His thrusts started to get sloppier until he eventually emptied himself out into you.

He pulled out, letting go of your throat, and you collapsed to the floor, feeling like a useless fuckdoll.

He tucked his heat back into his pants and brushed himself off, looking down at you and his work.

"What a good girl you are, little one."

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

TAG LIST (Comment Below if you'd like to be added!/If I missed you I apologize):

@smallershorteranduncut @persephoneblck @freekyfangirl @danveration @daisybelldarling @your-excellenc-z21 @aestheticgals-blog @naewasnothere @bontensbabygirl @amara-ishigami @strawberrypimpsimp @mneferta @deathnoteeee @lady-valtieri @itz-yue @alastorsfawn @thatdeadstoat @harmfulb1tch @no1sillybilly @ohbother2 @vee3-vox @alexandria-fandom @loratadina-makesmewanttocry @stargirlplanet @lbcreations-blog @depresoecspreso @dndmaniac @polytheatrix @transparentwizardmentality @the-lake-is-calling @randompersonidks-blog @ellezahen (won't let me tag you) @jyoongim @laundrybear413 @nega-omega @sageminty17 @lunaramune @heartsbutterfly @kaiandersonsbitch @a-jazzy-bee @my-divine-goddess000 @chewbrry @depresoecspreso @just-trash-yeah-thats-it @go-to-nerdytrashishere @creepylilneko @a-jazzy-bee @chewbrry @dievia3 @shotthrewtheheart @sunshinelulusplatoon @alon3lylov3r (won't let me tag you for some reason), @prosciuttosblog @casuallynotthirsty (you either rip), @lemonyboy97

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor #alastor x reader #18+ only #alastor x reader smut #18+ mdni #mdni #one shot

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axelsagewrites · 11 months

Text

Ramsay Bolton*Catch You

Pairing: Ramsay x F!Reader

Summary: Ramsay gives the reader one last chance to escape before becoming his wife

Requested by @darkrose33

Warnings: Ramsay, swearing, smut, piv sex, unprotected sex, f! receiving oral, humiliation, rough sex, degradation, chase kink 18+

Word count: 1894

A/N: Ramsay is a terrible terrible person who did terrible terrible things that I do not condone...however Iwan Rheon made him so attractive in a strange way so you cannot blame me for writing smut for him

Masterlist Here

“You can run,” his voice bellowed through the forest as your feet crashed across the ground amongst the trees, “But you can’t hide,”

It was a cat and mouse game. Ramsay wanted you but you couldn’t marry a traitor even if secretly you wanted him too. Any other person would be scared when they heard his boots crunching on branches and leaves as he ran through the forest after you. a weird spark lit up in your stomach.

“If you can make it to the other side, you’ll be a free woman,” he said, candlelight illuminating the chamber that had become your cell. He’d never laid a hand on you, but gods did he want to.

“And if I don’t?” you asked.

Ramsay smirked, lightly holding your jaw in his hand despite your grimace, “Once I catch you, you won’t want anyone else,”

Leaves and twigs scrapped your face as you ran through the trees, jumping over logs, and twisting around roots. You could hear him getting closer and your heart pounding in your ears. Another log jumped another corner turned then suddenly you had to stop and catch yourself. A lake the width of two men’s heights stretched across you and freedom.

Not even a direwolf could clear the jump. Perhaps there’d be a narrower crossing point further up but how long did you have before he caught up? Your head spun as you tried to look for an option. You heard his laugh running through the wind. Without any other option you began to attempt to climb the nearest tree.

Your hand gripped the branch and you managed to only get a few feet off the ground when your hand began to slip. Trying to find another spot to grab, the branch holding your foot snapped beneath it, your body moved to cling to the tree, but you began to slip. You yelped when you felt yourself falling or perhaps it was from the hand that suddenly was on your hips.

“Caught you,” Ramsay smirked, not nearly as out of breath as you. His strong hands dug into your hips, “You can let go now,” he said.

There was no point trying to run. Ramsay guided you down the tree, hands still clung into your hips as your back was against him. With your feet now on the ground, Ramsay stepped forward pushing you into the tree and his front into your back. You gasped at the feeling of his hard on pressing into you. “What now?” you asked, refusing to look back.

“Now,” Ramsay said as he leaned his mouth down to your ear, his breath fanning over your skin, “I’m going to fuck your tight little hole right in this fucking forest,”

“Anyone could walk by,” your eyes widened despite the excited shiver that went down your spin.

Ramsay spun you around before pressing your back harshly into the bark, deliberately pressing his cock into you as he trapped you between his arms, “Good,” he said, his lips hoovering over yours, “That way they know what’s mine,”

With that his lips crashed onto yours in a deep and messy kiss. His hands moved to grope your chest over your dress. Ramsay groaned into the kiss when he felt your lips move back. You weren’t even sure why you felt a tingle in your stomach. This was so wrong. But gods did his lips feel good.

You gasped when he bit down harshly on your bottom lip, whimpering slightly as he moved his tongue in. his fingers trailed the edges of your neckline before gripping the fabric and pulling it down. You shivered as the cold forest air ran over your nipples that instantly hardened at the cold. Ramsay moaned when he felt your skin under his touch and grinned when he felt your hardened buds. Soft moans left your own lips as he began to twist them gently at first. Then when he pinched them suddenly you whined as a hollow feeling started in your stomach.

“Look at you already so desperate,” Ramsay’s breath was warm against your face in contrast with the forest chill, “So desperate for me,” there was a glint in his eyes as he stared you down, “You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” Your face flushed and you tried to look away. Ramsay growled as he grabbed your jaw harshly, gripping it tightly in his fingers as he forced you to look him in the eye, “I asked you a question,” he said lowly, “Now answer me,” his fingers dug in deeper.

“Y-yes,” you stuttered out as you looked into his eyes which seemed to darken when you spoke.

“Yes what?” he said as he pressed himself even closer to you, no space left between you and him or the tree that dug into your spine.

You whined lightly at the feeling. Despite everything you wanted nothing more than what he was offering, “I want you to fuck me my lord,” you managed to say just above a whisper.

Ramsay smirked at your whimpering. He dropped your jaw from his grip only to begin hiking up your skirt, “All you had to do was ask,” he said as he dropped down to his knees, gazing up at your cunt, “Look how wet you are,” Ramsay said, letting your skirts fall to cover his body as he positioned himself by your cunt.

You stared off into the forest as his hot breath fanned against your wet pussy. You gasped when you felt his hands grab the flesh of your hips under your dress. His nose nudges against you and a whimper left your throat. “Please,” you whined without knowing if he could even hear you.

Finally, Ramsay gave in, and you were thankful for the tree to stabilise you as he licked up your folds. Ramsay did not pause for even a moment as his tongue began to lap up your juices. You didn’t want to moan. Anyone could come past. But when his tongue ran circles over your clit you couldn’t stop them. You felt hollow when he moved away from your clit but full as his tongue began to dive into you, licking you perfectly. Your hands were gripping bark trying to keep yourself standing as his nose nuzzled into your clit.

A knot was building in your stomach as Ramsay worked his wonders with his tongue. His hands squeezed and your hips, moving back to feel the soft flesh of your ass. His hands groping your body and his tongue licking your juices made the knot tighten. Suddenly you felt your whole-body tensing, your legs locking his head in place. “Fuck,” a long whine ripped from your throat as you felt a wave rush through your body. You couldn’t stop yourself moaning his name as you came around his tongue.

When he reappeared from between your legs his face was slick with your juices and a smirk on his lips, “I think you woke the whole forest with that one darling,” he said as his hand moved to grip your throat, “I think I should punish you for that,”

“Please,” you whimpered but the idea of him punishing you just made you ache for him.

“I think,” he said as one of his hands worked on his trousers, “I should fuck you right up against this tree,” he said as his cock sprung free. Without thinking you looked down at it and stared with awe as he held his cock in his hand, “What do you think?” he asked, turning his eyes back to yours.

You nodded but Ramsay squeezed your throat. You couldn’t just nod. “Please,” you whimpered, “Please do it. make me yours,” your hands moved to hold onto his arms, squeezing his hard biceps, “Fuck me, please I’ll be good,” you begged.

Ramsay’s eyes were filled with lust, “Such a good whore,” he said as he began to pull your skirts back up, lining himself up with your entrance, “That’s what you want right? To be my whore?”

“Yes,” you whined which turned into a gasp when you felt his tip began to push in.

Ramsay groaned as he slowly began to push his cock into you. once the head was in, he paused for a moment, and you felt yourself adjust to the burn as he stretched you out. However, he did not wait long before he suddenly began to thrust into you, his whole length diving into you and filling you up.

At first you gasped, a pain starting at first, but the pain ripped through your body like a wave of pleasure. Ramsay gripped your hips as he thrust into you and admired the tears falling from your eyes. “You look so pretty like this,” he growled sending shivers down your spine.

The pain was now wholly replaced by pleasure as he thrust into you, with each thrust your back hitting into the tree. Curse words fell from your lips in a mix of moans of whimpers. Ramsay groaned and growled as he fucked you, his lips falling onto the skin of your neck to suck dark hickeys into the delicate flesh. His hands moved from your hips to your still exposed chest. A wave of pleasure ran through you as he began to pinch and squeeze your nipples. Your walls clenched around him, cumming again for the second time around him. Your moans filling the forest like a symphony to Ramsay’s ears.

But it did not stop him. If anything, his thrusts got harder when he felt you squeezing around him, “Do it again,” Ramsay said, pressing his forehead against yours. whines of protest came out, but he did not care, “Do it again,” he growled, one of his hands moving to grip your throat as the other pinched hard on your nipple, “I wanna watch you cum over and over and over,” he said, thrusting with each word.

Even if you wanted to protest you couldn’t as the pressure built again. He let go of your throat if only to shove his fingers in your mouth, swirling them around your tongue before moving them to rub sloppy circles onto your clit. Your moans got muffled when he slammed his mouth onto yours. the way your moans vibrated into the kiss made his cock start to twitch.

When he felt your walls clamp around him again, he almost spilled right then. He pulled back from the kiss to watch your face contort in pleasure, the orgasm ripping through your body like a tsunami crashing. His thrusts got sloppy as he tried to ride it out but when you moaned his name, he couldn’t stop himself. Ramsay grunted as his seed began to spill, leaning onto the tree behind you to steady himself as he drained himself into you. his lips hovered over yours as he came, and you closed the gap for a needy light kiss.

When he pulled back, removing his cock from you, he used his hands to keep you steady. It was like trying to stand on ice for the first time as your legs ached from the orgasms. “You caught me,” you said, panting as you recovered from the ordeal.

Ramsay grinned down at you as he caught his own breath, “And don’t think im ever gonna let you run again,”

Taglist: @clairacassidy @nyotamalfoy

#ramsay bolton smut #ramsay bolton #ramsay bolton imagine #ramsay bolton x reader #ramsay snow #ramsay now smut #game of thrones smut #game of thrones show #game of thrones #game of thrones x reader #game of thrones imagine #iwan rheon #iwan rheon smut #requested #asoiaf #asoiaf smut

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soxcietyy · 5 months

Text

Swan lake

Danced Yuta x danced reader

After practicing for so long for the role of the white swan your world came crashing down once you heard "black swan" falling down your coaches lips. Things seem to always be going wrong since then but whenever Yuta appears it’s as if he was the answer to all your problems.

SIX YEARS, you’ve been practicing for the role of the white swan for six years. Your Studio was one of the few that had two different people play Odette and Odile. Obviously your studio didn’t preform swan lake every year so you’ve have to wait. The few times they have done it you have gotten minor roles. This irked you knowing how long and hard you’ve practiced for this role. Your mom has made your practice non stop for this day. You remember hearing the same sentence over and over again.

"Elegant like a swan sweetheart, if you don’t get this role this time I’ll have to give up on this dream."

You walk inside the studio to see everyone getting ready for auditions. Your hands are shaking feeling so nervous. You look to your right to see a group of girls practicing the same moves. You see as they hold hands and dance the dance of the little swans. They’re in complete synth and have a beautiful form until they stop and take a rest. You let out a groan as you think about being next. Watching everyone practice made you doubt yourself. From the corner of your eye you see Yuta looking at you.

"Are you nervous?" He asks as he sits down on the floor with you.

You unzip your bag and pull out your beat up point shoes. Nervous would be an understatement, you wanted to throw up, rip your hair, scream at the top of your lungs.

"I’m totally fine, matter a fact Iv never been so confident." You smile at him as you put your shoes on, lacing them around your legs and making sure they feel right. Yuta has been here for a few years now. He’s gotten major roles like the rat king and Romeo. He always got dark like characters due to his appearance and presence.

"Your auditioning for the Prince?" You ask curious to know what he was aiming for.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "No, not really made for that. I’m just going to be a back up dancer for the Prince maybe."

You smile agreeing with him. You couldn’t imagine him being Prince Siegfried.

"How about you? Let me guess…you strike me for a black swan type of girl." He says.

You finish putting your points on and stand up immediately. The black swan was the last thing you wanted. It’s like having the fact that you were good but not good enough smacked in the face. You place your bag on Yutas lap making him look up at you confused.

"Something even better" you say before leaving to the center of the room.

You feel all eyes on you as they call out your name signaling that your next. Taking one final breath you place one foot a bit behind and the other forward, your right up in the air, then the music starts to play. You began to dance like you’ve always practiced. Feeling how the music guides your body making you hit the right moves at the right time. You hear how the chattering in the back quiets down. How everyone is looking at you surprised.

You dance with elegance, with grace, with all your heart. Remembering all the lessons you’ve been taught. All the things your mother has said to you. All thoes videos of the white swans you’ve watched. The blogs you’ve read that had hundreds of tips. You made sure to make a good impression. To make the judges look at you in awe. You play in your head as if you were actually on stage. As if you were the white swan dancing infront of hundreds of people. You were going to get this role no matter what. You knew you were capable of this. You turned your body sharply and and look at the judges. They looked amazed at you. Then the music stops.

You pause and look up to see your dance teacher stand up. They all clapped and cheered you on. "I think we found out black swan." You hear him say.

You felt like a knife stabbed you in the heart. Did you mishear what he said? He said white swan, right?

"Excuse me?" You say looking around for anyone to answer you.

"Youre our black swan."

What did you do wrong? All that hard work, all those days, all that time just to get the black swan? You hear as everyone starts clapping for you once again. But it felt like nothing but mockery. Your heart beat raced, your breath was short, you started hyperventilating. You vision started going in and out.

It’s almost like he knew and ran to you. You feel as Yuta’s two big arms wrap around you. One around your your waist and the other one holding your head.

"Good job, my black swan."

As much as you knew he meant good it did the opposite. You slowly nod coming out of the trance you didn’t know you were in. You break off from the hug and took in your surroundings. Everyone was still cheering for you and congratulating you. Patting your back and telling you a few worlds of kindness. All you could do was smile as Yuta stood there watching you worried.

After a bit you tell everyone that you would be back and walk to the restroom. Locking yourself in a stall as you lay your back on a wall. You shakily hold your phone in your hand. Pulling your mom’s contact up with hesitation. Eventually having the courage to press on her number.

The phone rings twice before she answered.

"Hello?" You hear her say on the other side.

You grab your lip out of habit, pulling the dry pieces of skin off your lip even if they hurt.

"Hey mom…I-I got a leading role." You say. You pull a piece of skin from your lip causing it to bleed. The red blood seeping into your lip.

"Oh goodness honey congratulations! But why don’t you sound happy?" She asks.

"I got the black swan." You mumble.

You could hear the loud silence. You felt her disappointment far afar.

"Maybe this is where you retire" she said before hanging up. Your shoulders slump at hearing that. You’ve disappointed her once again and there was no other chance. You feel the tears fall from your face. If only you could have been better.

Walking out you run to the sink and splash your face with water. Hoping it could make you feel more refreshed and it did for a second. Before you decided do lookin the mirror, you could see red lip stick that spelled out "failure". You slowly back up not being able to believe what was written. You could have sworn you were alone.

Running out the restroom you grab your bag that was sitting outside and quickly storm out. Opening the door you are hit with fresh air but you weren’t alone. Next to the door stood another dancer smoking.

"You look like you’ve seen a ghost," she says.

You look at her trying to determine if it was her to blame.

"No. I’m fine actually, I think I’m going to go now. See you tomorrow." You started to walk but she called out to you making you stop to look at her once again.

"You know, you would’ve gotten the white swan. If you were actually good enough." She laughs. "The white swan is supposed to mirror a pure, elegant, innocent virgin. The white swan shouldn’t be given to a whore. You know what they saw? Someone trying to seduce them. That’s what the black swan is, she’s not a good guy. She’s a whore and a skank just like y-"

"Hey, why are you leaving already?" You feel someone grabbing your shoulder. You turn around quickly to see Yuta.

"Oh, im- just trying to go out and get myself something small. To celebrate such a big role I got." You say turning back around to see the girl was gone.

Turning your attention back to Yuta you see he still had the same concerned look on him. He was always such a worrisome person. Always looking out for everyone no matter if he knew you or not. He was always there for you too when you cried about not getting the role you wanted. He didn’t know that you practiced day and night for the white swan though. Maybe you could be open to this about someone. Grabbing his hand you lead him to an empty room in the studio. He didn’t ask questions but still complied.

"Yuta if I had to be honest I feel like throwing up. I don’t want to be the black swan, I wanted to be Odette. Iv practiced so hard just to not get the roll." You say hugging him. He held you as he listened to you cry. Letting you let all of your frustration out before he could say anything. When you did calm down you were laying your head on his lap as he ran his fingers through your hair.

"Getting the roll of the black swan is something so special, it’s something anyone would die for. The black swan isn’t just about being seductive. The black swan is elegant, confident, fearless, sharp and very beautiful. Every time I watch the performance my eyes land on her because she’s dances like if she knew what she wanted. She’s so damn mesmerizing that I can’t take my eyes off of her." Yuta says.

You look up at him and see how he’s talking sincerely from the heart. Maybe you misunderstood the black swan. She didn’t sound that bad to play after all.

During the week you practiced and practiced. Trying to perfect your dance as much as you could. You jumped and spinner countless times that you feet were sore. Yuta was there to help you practice making it bearable. He was what you needed to get through this. He’s the reason you were still in this play. You’ve never felt so happy dancing because it was something new to you. You weren’t dancing the same way you did when you practiced Odette for six years.

You were now a different person. A better person than what you were before and Yuta made sure you knew. As the boy who played Prince Siegfried rested, Yuta took his place. He lifted you so elegantly, so perfectly. He danced as if he was the perfect prince. As if he was actually in a spell that made him fall in love with you. You could feel how this was so different from your facing partner. The way he looked at you gave you butterflies.

This week was going by so perfectly, and tomorrow was the big day. Which reminded you, you still needed to text back your mom. You guys haven’t spoken since that day and you felt that you needed her there.

When taking your break you sit down on a bench and pull your phone out. Looking at your messages you can see that the last text you guys exchanged was her asking if you ate. It’s been a week since then, you hated how she didn’t care anymore. Either way you type on your keyboard the date and time of the dance. Saying you would be delighted if she came to support you.

Maybe she was missing you too seeing that she read the message immediately. A speech bubble soon appeared signaling that she was typing. You sit there for a minute waiting for her text you back. Then Yuta sits down next to you.

"Texting ya mom? She must be proud of you." He says as you turn your phone off.

You let out a fake laugh, "not really."

Your phone then dings with a notification. Looking down you could see she wrote something short.

Mom- So I can go see how much of a disappointment my daughter is? To see how much of my time I wasted on her? Every mother wants there daughter to be the white swan and you just had to be the opposite. You’re evil just like her. You can’t let anyone have a happy ending.

Your smile soon turned into something less pleasing.

“Ima go get us some waters, don’t move alright?" Yuta says before leaving you with your thoughts.

You might of gotten over the situation but why would your mom? It was her dream to be a white swan when she was younger. She never got the role though meaning that her dream was now yours. But now she’s realizing how much of a pathetic daughter she has.

You swing your feet on the bench waiting for him to come back. You never realized how beat up your shoes were until now. Maybe it was time to invest in new ones. Then you see another pair of ballet shoes in front of you. Looking up you see the guy who is to play the Prince. Typical blonde hair and blue eyed Prince Charming.

"Thank god we have two swans, imagine you being the same as the white swan. How horrible would the performance be. If I were you I would stop hanging around that boy." He looks towards the direction of Yuta who was having a quick chat with the dance teacher. You furrow your brows not liking what he was saying.

"You should at least be hanging around more elegant, and promising people. People that are better so you can actually learn a thing or two. Yuta is more of a dark essence. No wonder he didn’t try for the part, he knew he wouldn’t be able to achieve such a big role. Maybe you should have followed in his steps."

"You son of a bitch" you say standing up to meet eye level with him. This Prince Charming wasnt so tall after all. You could see people turning their attention towards you both. You didn’t care, is this nasty mouth of a boy supposed to be your partner?

"Hey, hey, what’s going on?" You both turn to see Yuta standing in the mix. He was always somehow there when everything was going to shit. Every time he appeared he always seemed to save you from all the toxic negativity.

"I’m not sure, she’s talking a bunch of nonsense, maybe you should help her get checked out." The blonde said.

You shake your head and grab Yuta by the arm making him follow behind you.

"Hey y/n maybe you need to take a break." Yuta says stopping you.

"I just took one, now dance with me." You say pulling him closer.

"No I mean a break for the rest of the day. You’re not okay y/n, Iv been watching you lately and sometimes you have this look in your face that I can’t ex-" you cut him off by pressing your back against his chest. Clearly not taking into account what he was saying.

Then the music starts to play once again. You feel how the music over takes your body. The adrenaline of dancing surging. At some point you close your eyes and let Yuta guide you. But when you open them it was as if you were in a different place. The room was completely pitch black except for a spot light that shunned in the middle. You squint your eyes at where the lights lit every time you were spun. After the third spin you recognize someone in the middle.

They wore the black swan costume as they sat in the middle. Their hands covering her face as she sobbed. Then the iconic instrumental music of swan lake payed. Looking down at yourself you found a white costume on you. You were on of the little swans and Yuta was now gone.

You continued to dance around and soon after more swans came out to dance. You all circled the black swan and continue to dance. All of you were in rhythm, in synth, and very coordinated. You finally felt part of something. Looking into the center you could see that the black swan had yet to move. You worried is something was wrong. Though nobody seemed to bat an eye. You followed along and ignored her too. The climax of the song had begun and the Odette had entered the stage. Instead of entering with grace she stormed right into the center. She grabbed the black swans arms and moved them to side and proceeded to smack her face. You gasped at the action and halted you dancing but one of the other swans pushed you to keep on dancing. You looked around to see if anyone had a reaction but no. Then the music stopped and the curtains closed.

All the swans began walking to the middle shouting horrible things. You couldn’t let this happen to the poor girl. You push your way in until you saw the black swan in shambles again. When your about to open your mouth you noticed that you recognized them. The black swan was you.

Your eyes fly open as you gasp sitting up right. White swans were now around you looking at you with judgmental faces. Did you switch spots with the black swan? You closed your eyes and covered your head. Curling up into a ball begging them to stop.

"We’re done practicing, I’m taking her home. Please give her some space." You hear Yuta says as he all of a sudden grabbed you. Pulling you into his warm embrace yet again. You immediately hug him tightly not wanting to let go. It seemed as if every time you thought about the black swan bad things would happen.

Yuta ended up taking you to his studio apartment. Holding you in his arms again on the couch as he says sweet little nothings into your ear. You didn’t feel okay, you didn’t feel real, you didn’t feel there. You felt so numb that you didn’t even want to eat. You were so scared of thinking of the dark swan. You just wanted to enjoy his presence in silence.

He held for what seemed forever. Offering you food, water, a blanket, anything and you would simplify shake your head.

"What’s wrong my little black swan?" He says.

"Stop!"you yell, finally breaking the peace and quite. He looked at you taken aback. "Don’t call me that, I can’t play her Yuta." You cry. "I’m such a waste of talent, you say that the swan is so many good things that I’m not. I’m not confident, I’m not beautiful, I’m not anything." You run your hands through your hair. "I’m going to end up being a failure and everyone’s going to hate me."

"So you went from not wanting to be the black swan to thinking you’re not enough. You’re so silly sometimes." He says smiling at you as he grabs your hands. He held them as you looked at him shakily. "I told you already, you’re so fucking perfect for the role. You’re my black swan and I’m your Prince from the scary dark forest. You need to stop being afraid of her and embrace her y/n. I know you can do it, I believe in you." He leans into you and stops a few centimeters from your lips. "If you make me proud I’ll give you a kiss."

The following day you stood behinds the curtain extremely nervous. You picked on your lip as they touched up your makeup last minute. Yuta stood across from you smiling sweetly. He was going to be supporting you from all the way in the back. Then the music started and it was show time.

You ran on stage quickly as everyone else followed. You danced like you have practice so many times. Your teammates smiling at you indicating you were doing great. You were doing so well the whole performance but the one that made you the most nervous was the pas de deux. Prepping yourself in the back you jump up and down trying to get rid of your jitters. Yuta looked at you hop up and down but didn’t say anything, It was for the best.

Then you ran on stage. The lights dimmed and all focus was on you, Siegfried, and Rotbarth. You danced and used Siegfried, not as your dance partner but a prop. The black swan didn’t need a man she was capable of herself. She was confident, she was elegant, she was everything but better. You danced and danced till the end. When you walked off stage you threw yourself over Yuta.

"Did I make you proud?" You ask him.

"You blew me away," he said before kissing you.

(I don’t know anything about ballet) .-.

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bubblegump-1-nk · 26 days

Text

Shall I Write It in a Letter

pairing: Gryffindor!Reader x Theodore Nott

summary: In which Theo wakes up one morning and realizes he can no longer not have you, so he writes you a letter. But when that letter gets lost, things become complicated. - inspired by Anne with an E; song: Bloom by The Paper Kites.

Warnings: angst that could be fixed by simple communication 😒, hints of cheating

P.S: I super duper highly recommend to listen to the songs either before, during, or after you read my fics . Not only do they encapsulate what the fic is about, but they’re also just super good songs!! <33d

~~~

Christmas break had been in session for about a week and a half, and Theo was spending his time off at home. Although he was sad to be away from his friends, he was happy for the much needed alone time.

The sun was shining brightly through the dark velvet curtains in his room, and he slowly woke up from his dreams. As his eyes fluttered open, he felt a pang of pain in his heart. His dream had been of you, specifically of kissing your soft lips on a warm summers day by the Black Lake. He’s found that more recently than ever, his head is full of you, as is his heart. As he’s laying in his bed, he closes his eyes once more, trying to hold onto the bits of you he won’t ever experience. In this moment, thoughts of you more prevalent than ever before, he realizes he doesn’t have to not have you. Quickly, becoming fully awake, he springs out of his bed and walks quickly to his desk.

He pushes all the papers and miscellaneous items off the surface, and pulls out a paper and quill. He’s become fully aware of just how much he longs for you, and why should he not be able to tell his best friend that he’s in love with her? He’s been yearning for your love for as long as he can remember, and it has finally transformed him into a fool, giving him the confidence to express his love for you.

My dearest y/n,

I’ve found that you’ve been circling my thoughts more than usual lately, so much so that I can hardly call them my own anymore. I think about you all the time, yet I’ve been too much of a coward to say anything. But I’ve realized that I don’t want to wake up one day, either in the near future or in the years to come, and regret not trying, because of pride, or embarrassment, or just simple fear. I need to escape this torture chamber I’ve made for myself, where I must hold you at arms length though I know I wish for nothing more than to be wrapped in your embrace at all hours of the day. So I need you to tell me if it’s all in my head. That the lingering touches and longing stares are just simple delusions I’ve created in my mind. But if they’re not, and Merlin how I hope they’re not, I’m telling you here and now that I am in love with you y/n l/n, and I don’t think I can bear to be apart from you any longer. I also want to go ahead and apologize for telling others I loved you, that they knew before you did, but to be fair I think everyone knew before I did, too. You are my breath of fresh air, the light in all my darkness, my proof that life is pure and good and that happiness is achievable. I may not be a religious person, but if worshipping you was a religion I’d be its most devoted follower. And if my feelings are not reciprocated, please find a way to put this past you because I could not endure losing you as my best friend as well.

Yours Forever, Theo.

After pouring his heart out onto the page, he carefully placed it into an envelope, wrote your name on it, and walked to give it to owl. After sending it away, he walked back to his room, his anxiety suddenly crashing through. Thoughts swarmed his head: She doesn’t love me, I’ve ruined everything, I should stop it from reaching her. But his heart quickly stopped his brain from doing too much damage. You needed to know or else Theo would live in agony for the rest of his life. Upon reaching his room, he sat back at his desk and sent letters to each of the Slytherin boys, confessing what he’s done. He even slipped a copy of the letter to Mattheo, the only one he felt he could truly trust with that piece of his heart.

~~~

It had been two days since the letter had been sent. Had his owl reached you by now? Had you seen it? What were you thinking?

He was an utter mess, his mind swarming with questions and his body teeming with anxieties.

Soon it was 4 days, then 6, then a week, and then the last day of break rolled around the corner. Still he had received no response from you, perhaps you wished to talk in person? His heart hoped that that was the answer, and that the lack of a letter was not your rejection

~~~

You got onto the train just as it was about to take off, thanks to your missing jumper. The train was packed with kids saying their hellos and catching up, and with much effort you finally found Harry, Hermione, and Ron and got inside the compartment.

“Is it just me or is it crazier than usual?” You ask as you sit down.

“Definitely crazier, apparently Lavendar and Parvati got into a huge fight over break so everyone’s running around to hear about it.” Hermione explains as she hands you some candy she bought for you.

You say your thanks and continue talking with your friends when there’s a knock on your compartment.

“Hi Dean!” You say as you get up to slide open the door. You step out quickly to talk with the tall Gryffindor boy.

You have a friendly conversation, lasting about 10 minutes before entering the compartment again.

“What was that about.” Ron asks, before anyone else has the chance to.

“I saw him at Diagon Alley over the break and he asked me out. We hung out a couple times over the break.” You explain.

“Never would have expected that one.” Says Harry.

You raise you eyebrow at him, “and why would that be?”

“Just always assumed it would be Nott.” Harry says.

“I can’t just sit around like a fool waiting for him. He’s shown he just sees me as his best friend and the quicker I get over him the better.” You explain.

“But, he hasn’t shown you that he feels that way.” Explains Hermione, who is team Theo and y/n.

“He hasn’t shown me any differently. Wake me up when we get there I’m taking a nap.” You say, tired of constantly being reminded of your inability to be with Theo.

~~~

You arrive at the castle, and you make your way through the crowds to find your Slytherin friends. Just as you spot their group, Dean Thomas stops you.

“Hey, I’ve saved you a seat next to me, ok?” He asks, while his hands snaked around your waist.

“Thanks, I’ll be right there.” You say to him, giving him a small smile before turning your attention back to the group

“Merlin.” Theo says, causing the group to turn their heads. He had seen you walking around the crowd, and had turned away quickly when you had finally spotted them. He hadn’t seen you on the train and obviously hadn’t received your letter, so a part of him still hoped that you just wanted to talk to him in person. His anxiety began to take over him when he saw you walking towards him - would you tell him to fuck off? That he’s some sort of creep best friend? Or would you tell him that your heart beat for him? - that’s when he saw it. Dean Thomas gripping your waist and you sending him that sweet, tooth rotting smile his way.

“Oh shit.” Said Mattheo, who had been the first to spot the pair.

“Fuck that’s messed up.” Said Draco.

“I’m sorry mate.” Enzo said, patting Theo’s shoulder.

“How’d that even happen?” Asked Blaise, confused because he had never really seen you interact with Dean.

Mattheo sent him a look, warning him to drop it.

“Let’s just get out of here.” Mattheo said, gently grabbing Theo’s arm, pulling him away towards the dining room.

Theo could still feel his heart breaking, each shard falling to the pits of his stomach and stabbing him. He got his answer at least, not only did you not love him, you clearly didn’t care enough about him to even write back to him. And now, his God-sent Angel, was flaunting around with another man. How could the sweet girl he grew up with, the one that showed him that even salt could be beautiful, break his heart and crumble its pieces in your fist?

You were confused when you suddenly saw the group leave, making their way into the dining hall. You tried to get to them, but the crowds of people pushed you back until finally, you realized it was fruitless when the crowd began pushing you back towards the Gryffindor side of the Great Hall. You decided to just sit down, and that you would try to find the group, Theo specifically because you missed him deeply, after dinner.

Dinner passed quickly after the tedious sorting ceremony. You talked with your friends and caught up with those around you, sneaking glances towards the Slytherin table as often as possible. Finally, Dumbledore dismissed the students and you all made your way towards your common rooms. Since it was the first day back, teachers were making sure students went directly to their rooms, leaving you no time to find the Slytherins. You decided it would be best for you to just wait until tomorrow, though you thought you might implode if you spent one more second away from Theo. A thought that made you feel instantly guilty when Dean appeared at your side.

The next day rolled around, and still you hadn’t been able to get ahold of the Slytherins. If you hadn’t known any better, you would have assumed they had been avoiding you. Finally, right before lunch you entered the library to grab some books when you saw the boys congregated in the back. You made your way over to them, carefully stepping around the stacks of books Madame Pince was reorganizing.

Once you finally reached the group, you went to announce your presence before Theo looked away from Draco (who was telling some boring anecdote) and looked down at you. Before you had any time to give him a smile or say your hello’s, he detached himself from the group and stormed right past you, through the stacks of books, and out the door. You stood shocked, facing the doors before finally turning back around to face the group. Your face was painted with an expression of confusion, which only deepened you received a nasty look from Enzo.

“We’ll be on our way now.” Said Enzo, walking past you with Blaise following close behind.

What..?” You finally managed to get out in your state of shock.

“Listen, y/n, just do us all a favor and leave us alone, especially Theo.” Mattheo said, in quite a rude tone before walking passed you. You stood confused and shocked at the interaction that had just unfolded. What had you done? Why were the boys mad at you? What had you done to Theo?

~~~

“I just have no idea what it could possibly be.” You said to Hermione, as you paced around your dorm room, recounting the story from earlier.

“Maybe it’s Dean. Maybe he’s just jealous.” Hermione offered.

“No, but I’ve had flings with guys before, and it’s not like he hasn’t been with girls before. It’s some thing deeper than that I know it.” You state, picking at your fingernails.

“And your sure you haven’t done anything? I mean you can’t think of one thing that could possibly have led to this?” Hermione asks, just as confused about the situation as you.

“Yes, I mean I literally cannot think of one thing that could have led to this. I would never hurt Theo, ever.” You say, plopping down on you bed, exasperated by the days events.

“I’m sorry y/n but I have absolutely no idea why they’re acting like this.” Hermione said, sad she couldn’t be of more help.

“It’s fine Hermione, it’s not your fault. I’m just going to go to bed.” You say, wanting this nightmare to end.

Could you really be losing your best friend to a reason unknown to you? Not only can you not be with the man that you love because he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, but now you may have just lost him completely. You fall asleep after hours of rolling back and forth contemplating your complicated relationship with Theo, and even in your unconscious state you cannot escape him because he peeps into your dreams.

~~~

The following week is agony. Your best friend won’t talk to you, let alone allow himself to be in the same room as you, the boys you’ve known since childhood give you nasty looks every chance they get, you have to entertain a relationship with Dean your not even sure you want to get into and your teachers are stuffing you with assignments. All you need is a good party with lots and lots of alcohol. Once Friday afternoon finally rolls around, you can feel a slight weight lift from your shoulders.

~~~

You walked into the Slytherin common room with Dean. Pansy, Daphne and some other Slytherin girls hosted the first party since break and seeing as you’ve been close with them since 1st year, you were clearly invited. You decided you were going to look your absolute best for this party: you’re makeup was flawless, your hair done to perfection, and the corset and low-waisted mini skirt you were wearing was doing your figure perfect justice.

“Fuck me.” Said Theo as he saw you walk in with Dean. “I’m going for a smoke outside.” He says.

“Need company?” Mattheo asks, not wanting to leave his vulnerable friend alone.

“Nah mate, thanks though.” He says, before walking outside quickly, before he can see anymore of you.

It had only been a few minutes, and you had already downed about 3 drinks. Once the alcohol started to hit, you detached yourself from Dean’s grip making up some excuse, before finding your way towards the Slytherin boys.

You spotted Mattheo sitting on the arm rest of a couch, sipping out of a plastic cup. You walked up to him, hips still swaying to the music.

“Where’s Theo?” You stated, once you reached him, your confidence booming.

“What do you want?” Mattheo asks, looking up at you with contempt.

“I need to find Theodore Nott. Where is he?” You state.

“You have some serious nerve.”

“What?” You ask, taken aback.

“Listen, y/n, you’re once of my closest friends, but Theo’s my best mate. And what you did, that shit’s just fucked up. Like seriously, I didn’t even know you were capable of that.” He says, disgust leaking out of his words.

“I’m sorry?” You say, confused by his words.

“Merlin y/n, I mean how dull can you be? You just expect everything to be all right after you not only completely ignore his letter where he fucking tells you he fucking loved you, but you turn up with some Levski (famous quidditch chaser) wannabe? I mean that’s some next level shit.” Mattheo says, getting up as he presents his rage induced speech.

“What letter?” You say, unaware of what he’s talking about.

Mattheo just stares at you, stuttering to get some words out.

“I said: what letter, Mattheo?” You say, much more sternly.

“Wait, so you’re telling me you never received it?” Mattheo asks, in shock.

“I don’t even know what I didn’t receive.” You say, exasperated.

“Just, wait right here, I’ll be right back!” Mattheo says, before running up the stairs towards the dorms.

You stand there in shock, your adrenaline pumping. Had you heard him right? Theo had sent you a letter confessing his love to you? How had you missed it?

“Here! Here! I have it!” Mattheo yelled, running towards you, waving a piece of parchment around in his hand.

“This. One.” Mattheo says, between breaths as he reaches you, handing you the parchment.

You rip it from his hands, reading it quickly yet thoroughly. Tears brim at your eyes, did he really feel this way? Merlin you felt so stupid, how could this have gotten lost?

“I-I…” you stuttered, unaware of what to say.

“Outside. He’s outside. Go!” Mattheo said, stilling catching his break.

“I- ok, thank you!” You say, before quickly running out the door, finding your way outside.

You see Theo sitting outside, smoking a cigarette. His face is illuminated by the moonlight and you swear in that moment that you’ve never seen anything more beautiful.

“Theo! Theodore!” You yell to him, as you run towards his figure. The grass was still wet from the rain that had fallen earlier that day, and the blades of grass began to stick to your calfs.

Theo looks at you, before getting up and attempting to escape you.

“Theo, wait, please! Mattheo just showed me the letter! I never got it!”

He stopped in his tracks, and slowly turned around.

“What?”

You finally catch up to him, breathing heavily.

“I never got your letter, I didn’t know about it until just now.” You explain, showing him the letter Mattheo had given you.

“What?” He said again, bewildered by what was going on.

“I wasn’t ignoring you, or your feelings. I just never got to read about them until tonight.”

“So, you’re telling me you never received it, at all?”

“No. I never got a letter.” You explain, your eyes searching his for some hint of how he was feeling.

“Did you read it?” Theo asked slowly.

“Yes, just now I did.”

“And…” Theo asked, hope returning to him and hitting him like a truck. He was filled with anxieties and he felts his stomach doing flips waiting for you to answer.

“Of course I’m in love with you, I thought I made it so obvious!”

“I thought I made it obvious!” Theo said with a laugh, all negative feelings and thoughts leaving his body and head at your confession.

“My heart quite literally beats for you, Teddy. I’ve never been so scared then when I thought I was losing you.”

“Really?” He asks. His eyes are lit up and he can barely contain his smile

“Yes you idiot!” You say, smiling wildly

“What about Dean?” He asks, afraid.

“Fuck Dean! It’s only ever been you, Teddy. It’ll always be you.” You say, staring up at him with nothing but love and devotion.

“Does this mean that you’ll have me?” He asks, grabbing your hands.

You nod vigorously, unable to get any words out as tears of happiness are threatening to spill if you utter a single word.

And with that, Theo dips down and kisses you. The kiss is deep and passionate. You two explore each others mouths, and your hands explore each others body. You taste every bit of each other, and feel each others hair, faces, arms, waists, chests, in ways that you’ve never felt before. You take this chance to make up for all the lost time you’ve spent pining for each other in secret. The kiss is hungry, yet gentle and Theo holds you close, as if if he doesn’t hold you as tightly as possible you’ll slip away from him. After a few minutes he pulls away, touching your forehead to his and holding your face in his hands.

“I’m so so sorry for believing the worst in you. I was just in so much pain. Ignoring you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done” He states, referring to the week prior.

“It’s ok, Teddy. Let’s not worry about that now.” You say, causing his lips to come crashing down on yours again.

#slytherin boys #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #theodore nott #jealousyfic #harry potter #theodore nott x y/n #angst #theodore nott angst #theodore nott x you #theodore nott fluff #lost letters #the paper kites #anne of green gables #anne with an e #theo nott

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choke-me-joey · 1 year

Note

yeah im gonna steal that request… #2 with eddie picking reader up from cheerleading practice and she keeps staring at the tent in his pants 🤤

I tried to make this a little extra filthy just to make you feel better my Angel 🥰 I hope you like it! I love you ❤️

2. It's not gonna suck itself.

Eddie Munson x not your typical cheerleader reader

Content warning: 18+ content minors DNI, slightly pervy Eddie, blowjobs, deep throating, gagging, head pushing?? FINALLY VAN SMUT, public naughties I guess???, SLIGHT ANAL PLAY, swallowing

Hoevember/Dickcember masterlist

Eddie was already rock hard.

He couldn't help it; he'd arrived 10 minutes early to pick you up from cheer practice and now he was sat in his van, watching you on the field. Your skirt flipped exposing your untraditional black panties and he groaned, dick straining against his zipper. God you looked fucking good. His little rebel cheerleader. You weren't the stereotypical blonde clone of Chrissy Cunningham, fuck no, you were the complete polar opposite. You liked heavy metal, Lord of the Rings, DnD, weed and drinking on the weekends.

And most important of all, you loved Eddie when the entire school, aside from a select handful in the Hellfire Club, despised him.

You were his dream girl in a pleated skirt and matching hair bow.

Plus, you were fucking filthy.

Eddie groaned again and palmed his cock through his jeans as you jumped up into a perfect toe touch. That damn flexibility of yours. He got to enjoy it way more than anyone on that fucking squad would ever know.

He breathed a sigh of relief as practice finished and you spotted his van immediately, grabbing your bag and running over with a huge smile on your face.

"Hi, baby! Did you see my toe touch? I nailed it!" You exclaimed as you jumped into the passenger seat and pecked your boyfriend's lips.

"I saw it, beautiful, I'm so fucking proud of you!" Eddie grins. "Also, you looked sexy as hell out there."

"Perving on me, Eddie?" You smirk, doing up your seat belt. As your eyes travel down to help you see to fasten it, you can't help but notice the massive bulge in your boyfriend's jeans. Your thighs clench together and you bite your lip.

But it was a 20 minute drive to Eddie's trailer and the parking lot still had a couple of cars in it, so you would have to wait to pounce on him.

"Could ask you the same question, princess." Eddie chuckles, following your eyeline. "Sorry, baby, I can't help it. You know what that skirt does to me."

"Oh, I know." You smirk, eyes flicking down to his crotch again. "But maybe you can show me when we get home? Just to remind me."

"Can't wait that long, princess, been sat here hard as a fucking rock for about 15 minutes already, my balls are starting to hurt." Eddie fake pouts at you and you mirror him.

"Well...it's only a 10 minute drive to Lover's Lake..."

"I love that brain of yours." Eddie groans, putting the car into drive and backing out of his space, tyres squealing along the asphalt. Your eyes flick to his tented jeans once more. Eddie moves his hips forward slightly, clearing his throat. "It's not gonna suck itself."

"Shut up, I was getting to that." You laugh. "Just focus on getting us to the lake without crashing."

"Fuck, yeah." Eddie grins, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel as you unzip his jeans, not at all suprised when you see he's not wearing any underwear.

"You whore." You tease, reaching into his jeans and pulling his cock out. Poor baby really had been hard for a while, the mushroom head of his thick cock angry and reddish purple.

"Fuck, you love it," Eddie hisses, dick jumping as you press a kiss to the head. "Come on, baby, don't tease-"

You shut him up by swallowing him down quickly, which was not an easy feat. His dick slides down your throat and you keep it there for a few seconds, letting the hot flesh pulse in the tight constraints of your throat before you pull up for air, trails of spit keeping your lips and his dick attached. "Shit, sweetheart, gonna make me blow my load before we even get there, looking like that." Eddie sighs, with a quick glance down at your face before focusing back on the road.

You don't miss the way his knuckles turn white as he grips steering wheel as you wrap your hand around his cock, jerking him as you suck on the head, flicking it with your tongue the way he loves. "Jeeeesus Christ, babe," Eddie hisses between clenched teeth as he nearly rams into the car in front stopped at a red light. You hum out a little chuckle and in retaliation he pushes your head down, albeit gently, forcing you to take more of him. Luckily you've given Eddie plenty of blowjobs so you're well trained in taking him, even if you do gag slightly around his thick length. Eddie swears loudly, stepping on the gas, trying his best not to cum before he had a chance to park up and enjoy himself.

As soon as you reach the lake, Eddie slams the van into park, cutting the engine. He lifts his hips and pulls down his soaked jeans and you immediately dive back in, sucking his balls into your mouth as your hand continues to stroke him.

"Fuck, look at that, got Hawkin's hottest cheerleader sucking on my balls, you're fucking filthy babe." Eddie groans, stroking a few loose bits of hair away from your face that had escaped your obligatory cheer pony. You roll your eyes, releasing his left ball from your mouth with a soft 'pop' and moving to the right one to give it the same treatment. Eddie throws his head back against the seat, moaning at the roof of the van.

"Hey, eyes on me handsome," you remind him with a quick bite to his inner thigh. Eddie jumps a little, making you both laugh. "Want you to cum down my throat, 'kay?"

"If a day ever comes where I don't wanna do that when you ask me, just shoot me baby cos I'm already dead inside." Eddie quips, and you shoot him a grin before taking his cock into your mouth again, moving your head up and down quicker than before, the velvety skin slick with your spit - just how he liked it. "Fuck me, you're such a good girl, swallowing down my cock like it's nothing, guess I taught you well, huh?"

You moan in response, the vibrations adding to the building tension in Eddie's balls. He liked to think he had pretty good control over his orgasms, managing to hold back whenever he wanted to you cum first, but when your finger slipped below his balls to his perineum, lubing up his hole with spit and pushing in gently, he lost it, slamming his cock down your throat and cumming so hard he saw stars. "Fucking hell-!"

You were unable to hide the smug look on your face as you pulled off his cock, swallowing everything he had given you. Eddie sat in the drivers seat staring at you, pants around his thighs, dick and balls covered in saliva and a little bit of cum that had escaped your mouth. His face was flushed and sweaty. He looked absolutely fucked.

"What the fuck was that?!" He panted, chest heaving. "Did you...you put a finger in my ass!"

"Just the tip!" You grinned. "Besides you said you wanted to try it, and you really fucking liked it-"

"I'm not saying I didn't, babe, but a little warning next time? I'm gonna need a bit more recovery time before I fuck you now."

"Well, if it makes us even, you can put a finger in my ass when you do." You grin, sliding off your panties from under your skirt and climbing over the centre console into the back of the van, making sure Eddie got a full view of your glistening cunt and perky ass. "Maybe more if you're lucky."

"Oh baby, I'm feeling very fucking lucky right now."

#eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson x you #kats hoevember event #kats dickcember event #stranger things smut #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction

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leighsartworks216 · 4 months

Note

Could I request 56 and 28 kisses? I've been binge reading your Astarion fics....

I started seeing edits on tiktok, and it led to a new obsession, lmao

56 - Angry kisses; 28 - Hard kisses

Ascended!Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

I was having a hard time trying to think of situations for this with Spawn Astarion, but this idea came really easily with Ascended on the brain lol

Very short and not proofread

Warnings: blood, choking, biting, spicy, (unhealthy) power dynamics

Word Count: 343

Kiss Prompts

Main Masterlist

First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

“What did I tell you?” Astarion growled, fangs bared like a feral animal. His hands gripped harsh at your wrists, holding your hands firmly over your head. His crimson eyes burned like hellfire as he stared you down.

You smirked despite his rage. “To wait here for you to come back.”

He snarled as he leaned in further, nose almost brushing yours. “And why didn’t you, pet?”

“I couldn’t.” You run your foot up his calf, pressing your knee between his legs to press at his crotch. “I couldn’t wait for you.”

He grabs your neck, long nails digging into your skin as he tightens his hold, cutting off air you no longer need. The fire in his eyes, once only comprised of wrath, now intermingles with desire. Lust.

“And why should I please you now?” He tilts his head. “You disobeyed me, pet.”

He can feel the muscles in your throat working against his grasp to speak. He doesn’t let up even as you gasp out, “Then punish me.”

He growls again, deep and animalistic. “You insolent little brat.”

He drags you forward by your throat and crashes his mouth against yours. It’s not soft - it never is. His fangs bite and nearly tear at your lips and tongue, lips forcing your mouth open so he can press his tongue inside and claim you. Teeth knock into each other, fangs poke and draw blood. He bites hard at your lip and you instinctively try pulling away, but he keeps you in place. When he pulls away, his mouth is bloody. You can taste the copper and iron dripping from your own mouth, stolen from some poor sap your lover had fed you several hours prior. The sight drives him mad.

He pulls you roughly from the wall and shoves you to the bed. He uses his thumb to guide your blood to his mouth, licking the pad of his finger with a roguish smirk. “Oh, little love,” he purrs, dark desires dripping from each syllable. “How shall I punish you this time?”

---

@satelliteapotheosis @hypopxia @flsalazar @beverlybeav @angelofthorr @emiemiemiii @marina-and-the-memes @aurasyn @furblrwurblr @cappsikle @mjmygd @thegirlsadventuresinwonderland @kindadolly @bloopthebat @pandimoostuff @chesb0red @black-star1472 @sessils @puppyg1rl666 @maruichio @cyber-dump-171 @katharynmarie @twinkliker3000 @cherifrog @catching-fire-in-the-wind @phantoms-fandom-blog @thespectacularspaceace @lynnlovesthestars @sylverqueencosplay @ashrio20 @bambamwolf87 @astarion-imagine-archive @thistrashisreadytobash @rosxtinted @bongwaterflavoredgatorade @the-lake-is-calling @nyxmainex @squid-killer @godoffuckedupcats @dontneedbiologytoadopt @dark-angel-is-back @gaymistakeboi

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adsosfraser · 8 months

Text

always

everlark; post mockingjay; jealous katniss

The roof is leaking.

The tin bucket rings with the tap tap tap of the evenly spaced droplets.

The deluge of rain hit hard last night and it has me humming happily, excitement in my chest.

I’ve always loved thunder. The way it rolls deep within my chest and echoes in the deep old bones of the mountains around us. I would squeal with each clap and reach up to catch it in our Seam home as my daddy smiled from his chipped armchair. We’d play a game of hopping from spot to spot on the floor at each rumble and though his eyes hung in deep dark circles from his shifts in the mines, my father never tired. Then, Prim was born and she was terrified of thunderstorms for a time.

It’s just one leak in our shiny and spiffy Capitol made home that’s been standing for almost a century now though. Thom and his builders have much more important things on their minds than a tiny leak in our roof.

Some people still don’t even have roofs. The make-shift canvas of the sturdy tents lining the district hardly constitute roofs.

When the war began, the Capitol wasn’t quite as invested in the architecture in their dear sweet Victors’ homes. They couldn’t keep up their perfect veneer in District 12 when they obliterated it into the ground. The poor things.

And besides, a little water didn’t hurt that much. In my father’s home, we had at least ten designated containers to catch the drip of rainfall.

When I step outside into the morning, the sun is bright and clear in the sky. No trace of the ominous grey and green puffs above remains. The grass is wet and smells of rain. A small trickle of a stream has formed on the gravelly road, opposite our home. At least the geese have been subdued into some semblance of peace because of the storm.

Peeta had left this morning before the sun even stretched out into the sky. Usually I would already be out in the woods too, or by his side watching him knead dough or wipe sweat off his brow.

But, I couldn’t settle last night. Even in Peeta’s arms I was restless. And when my eyes finally drooped shut, a nightmare had found me. The giant crash of thunder that split the sky in two in the middle of the night woke me up. In my dreams all I heard were bombs and gunfire. It had reminded me of-

Peeta let me rest in this morning when he heard my grumpy grunt as I shoved my face under the pillows to hide from the sunlight. Not that he let me do anything. But he had gently tucked me back in and left a muffin on my nightstand for when I was ready.

Part of me wanted to pull him back in by the shirt of his buttoned collar and waste away the day. But even my arms wouldn’t listen to my demands. The bed was so nice and I fell deep into the mattress covered in one of the sheets as Peeta left the fan to run for me. The cinnamon and dill buried deep within the fabric of his side made me feel like I was rocking on a boat, in a lake with gentle rolling waves in my head.

Besides, we haven't even kissed since he returned to me almost four months ago. At first the chaos of finishing the important parts of the bakery and going through the final touches to get it up and running had us distracted. Now I’m not so sure he wants to kiss me.

I kick the loose rocks littering my path to the bakery. They skip and hop and fling themselves in the air. One hits another rock and angles itself to launch at someone passing me clear across the street but their back is turned and they don’t even feel it ping off the heel of their boot. I mumble an apology to myself though, and feel the heat of shame caving in on me from every inch of air around me.

Before I know it, I’m in front of the bakery. It was one of the first buildings up in Twelve. Everytime I see it my heart swells with pride for Peeta. Even though it’s just the bare bones now, I can see its future clear across every brick. The sign hangs proudly over the front. The ‘s’ in Mellark’s is slightly crooked and splotchy because of my shaky hands, but when Peeta began painting it with such excited and reverent hands, he insisted I contribute to at least one part of it.

Normally, I never enter through the front door of the bakery. The back door has always been home to me in a way. The first time I ever came to the back doorstep, I was sitting tall on my father’s shoulders and happily babbling along to a tune he was singing. He and Mr. Mellark quickly exchanged two squirrels with a respectful nod and I mimicked them which put the trace of a laugh onto the baker’s weathered face.

Now, I want to surprise Peeta as one of his customers. The bell of the door jingles as I walk through the door. No one mans the front counter so he must be in the back.

“I’ll be with you shortly.”

His voice carries through the opening to the room with the ovens and prep tables and my shoulders relax at his calm but steady voice. The way the bakery was built and rebuilt, it’s easy for him to call out to customers without having to yell. My lip twitches up into a soft smile and I pull out one of the chairs dotting the tables around the room.

His clomping footsteps and another ring of the bell clash together in my mind. I look up to see the new customer, expecting someone from Thom’s crew but I instantly tense up at the sight.

Her hair is coiled perfectly into ringlets around her face and a big fur coat rests on her shoulders. Her chest is unnaturally large and her bottom even more so. But she’s perfect, right down to her nails. Not a blemish in sight and her blonde hair shines with health and lustre.

She’s big and pretty.

“Artementia!”

Peeta’s shout pulls me from my scrutiny of the clearly Capitol woman. His steps are quick as he approaches her and wipes the flour off of his hands onto his apron.

My head jerks back when he reaches for her across the counter and they embrace. His smile is brilliant and he doesn’t even notice me lurking in the corner.

“Oh my dear.” They pull back from their hug and that woman kisses both of his cheeks, dangerously close to the corner of his mouth. “It’s been far too long.”

“It really has Artie.” He squeezes her hand. “How have things been for you?”

“Well why don’t we go and have lunch together? I’m sure you’ll be having your break soon anyway.”

“It’s just me today, I’m not sure I can just close up shop for my lunch break.”

“They can survive without you for an hour I’m sure. Just flip your little sign over and we can go to the opening of that restaurant down the street.”

Peeta’s head turns to the back, searching a long moment for something. When he turns around, it seems he’s already made up his mind. He lets out a sigh before plastering his smile back on for the woman.

“Well alright,” His hands work swiftly to unknot the apron around his waist and place it on the counter. “Sure wouldn’t want anyone else to give you the grand tour of our pristine district.”

She places a hand over her chest and lets out a soft laugh and Peeta’s chest rumbles with a short chuckle.

They walk over to the door, not even glancing my way as Peeta flips the sign on the door over to ‘closed’ and locks the door. Before the door smacks shut behind them, I shove it open and storm past them in the opposite direction. To the woods.

The rock in my hand scatters to the ground.

It was pretty and I thought Peeta would’ve enjoyed its smooth surface and swirling brown rings.

But maybe now it’s not enough to preoccupy his mind with the pretty blood and flesh woman beside him.

His head whips back to the loud sound of the slamming door and ping of the rock and I quickly turn my face away from his line of vision.

“Katniss?” His hopeful voice calls out. But I’m already pushing to round the corner of the rebuilt merchant businesses. “Katniss!”

He can have fun with his gorgeous Capitol woman on his arm. I don’t care.

I save the grumbling for later though, my mind focuses on the ground below me as my legs carry me in a spring towards the fence. I duck under my spot in the chain-link and snatch up my bow and arrows.

After the fifth poor squirrel participates in my very important exercise of letting my feeling’s flow for the day, I climb up a strong and tall tree. I lean into the familiarity of pulling myself up its sprawling branches and swinging my body up and up. Reaching for the sky just as its leaves are.

Have I really lost my dandelion in the spring already?

Did the hungry storms of last night, and the contrast of the harsh summer sun this morning already wilt it?

He so easily welcomed that woman’s touch. Someone from the Capitol no less. And he’s barely touched me in months. Save our desperate grip on each other as the terrors of the night take over.

I will not be sharing a town with the woman Peeta so readily shares himself with.

Instead of rough bark behind my back, I feel the hard arm of a rocking chair digging into my spine. The room is cosy and safe, like Peeta. I feel the sway of my body with the branches of the tree and hug my knees tight to my chest.

“This baby takes nothing from you Kitty, my heart just has to grow some more. Like my tummy. That’s all.”

I relax into her arms, feeling the steady beat of her heart where my head lays. Her stomach is fat, nice and cushy. As fat as anyone in the Seam could ever get. She smells pretty. Like the dirt and plants Daddy lets me dig my grubby little fingers into. I feel the song rattle through my chest as she hums to me. My head gets droopy and I curl further into her. Her hands run through my hair and as she rocks our bodies together on the chair, my head clouds with dreams that I can’t touch yet. But I know they’re there. Happy and warm.

“I’ll always be right here with you baby.”

Shivering in the downpour I’ve been caught in, I hum the same tune she soothed me to. Without thinking, my body rocks back and forth on the soaked moss and lichen on the limb closest to the ground. If I let my hand hang limp from my side I could probably brush the tops of the chives sticking out near the base with my fingertips. I don’t remember my journey down from the top of the tree, but it must’ve happened somehow.

I could be crying. I don’t know. The fat raindrops on my face disguise any that may come.

But it would be hard to disguise the snot squirming its way out of me. I rub my bare forearm under my nose.

I do what I do best.

I run. I hide away. And I sulk.

It doesn’t matter.

They all leave.

Even if they don’t want to, they always do. My father and Prim's choice was made for them. I don’t know what’s worse. To have Peeta’s choice made for him or for him to actively choose that I no longer fit into his life.

Either way, it’s all unbearable to think about. I gasp in sharp breaths and my chest is tight with the pain and fatigue of it all. I feel like I’ve just run the worst marathon of my life, and I’ve never even gone over five miles when training for the Quell put a stick up Peeta’s ass.

His clomping footsteps alert me to his presence long before I can see his form through the sheets of rain obscuring my vision. Maybe if I tuck further into myself he won’t notice me sitting on the lowest branch of the tree.

I was never a lucky person though.

He approaches me slowly, like I would a skittish animal. I tuck my chin into the safety of my knees. Surely he’ll go away if I ignore him hard enough.

I feel the air move around me as he swings a leg up and over and brings his body to rest on the same branch as me. It’s not without difficulty though, I know his leg still bothers him and can be cumbersome at times. After a quiet moment of him gathering his balance again, he lifts my chin up with his finger.

I can feel the tear tracks, dry and crusty against my cheeks and I know I look like a drowned rat, or rather a drowned Buttercup from my little pity party under the torrential rain.

“Oh, Katniss.” Warmth floods through me, all-consuming and relieving as his thumb traces the skin under my eye. “What’s wrong baby?”

My nose stings again as a fresh wave of fat tears fall from my eyes at the nickname. My lip wobbles and I can’t breathe. I try to answer, but everything comes out as a choked sob. Peeta reaches around to wrap his arm around me, rubbing my back in comforting circles. When I finally get the words out, they’re incomprehensible with my stuttering breath, throat full of tears, and snot muffling everything. To anyone but Peeta, who knows me so well, past the need for language.

“Why doesn’t she want me anymore?”

“What brought all of this on sweet girl?”

“You’re leaving me.”

“Not real.”

“Maybe not your arms. But you are. Your heart.”

“Never Katniss.”

Fat rain drops fall from his delicate eyelashes, leaving behind them a darker shade of blond from the moisture.

“You’re right here Katniss.” His steady and warm hands take my hand that’s shivering from the cold. He guides it straight over his chest and the comforting thump of his heart beneath warms me more than his coat he wrapped tightly around me does. I blink at his motions, my mind puzzling and patching them together into an attempt at coherency.

His other hand reaches towards me and he watches me closely for any sign of apprehension in my eyes. I can’t manage any to bubble up in me at the moment. Tentatively, he presses the pads of his fingers against my own chest, speeding up the beat of my own heart along with his under the firm press the palm of my hand has against it. His fingers straighten until the heel of his own hand is flush against my heart. The soaked fabric of my shirt clings to us both from the water of the rain.

“And I’m right here.” The pitch of his voice sounds at the edge of a question and a statement.

It’s not fair to him to be stuck with me though, just because he knows I wouldn’t be able to handle it. He deserves someone good and beautiful. Just like him.

Not a girl scarred from the fire she wore for pageantry and glory.

“I’m not pretty enough for you. I’m not big enough.”

“Sweetheart.”

“I wasn’t enough.”

“Katniss.” My name breaks on his tongue; he physically can’t even force the muscles to move again, as if the ache in his chest is agonisingly painful from the blow of my words. I understand now. His heart is broken. Like I shot an arrow through him instead of the truth. Maybe I did, the day I sang to the birds in kindergarten and we’re forever tethered now from the invisible line of bow string to arrowhead.

“I love you.”

His beautifully made eyes well with tears, glossing the blue over with his pain. My eyes begin to water again, even after I’ve exhausted myself of the hydration required to sustain them. It’s not hard to feel what a man like Peeta feels for yourself, deep in your bones.

“I came back for you. Back to twelve. Back to myself.”

“It kills me that you think you’re not enough. I’m so sorry I said those words in 13 to you. I know I’ll never be able to take them back. Or the-” He stares at my throat, where his hands once wove together into a nest of fear and pure hatred and I swallow under his gaze. “But I promise Katniss. I will remind you how beautiful and smart and brave and loving you are every single day. You are perfect for me.”

“But you don’t want me.”

“I’ve wanted you that way ever since I’ve understood what it meant.”

But that doesn’t make sense. His constant distance and the sincerity behind his words clash within my mind. My brow furrows and my face deepens into a scowl.

“Show me.”

His eyes drag from their connection with mine, down to my lips. He looks back to me and his eyes widen with an emotion I’m all too familiar with.

“I’m afraid.”

“What?”

“I’m afraid I won’t stop Katniss. They changed me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“So don’t stop. You’re my Peeta. No matter what.”

The kiss is gentle and sweet and I pull my body back against the rough bark, forcing him to lean into me even more. I cradle him between my thighs and smile against his lips. They taste like a fresh burst of blueberries on my tongue and my smile widens at the thought of him sneaking his own fresh muffin from the bakery’s supplies. The way his lips slide against mine, slick with the torrent of rain that assaults us is new and exciting. To consume the very rain itself off of his lip makes my chest flutter at the fact that not even the rain will get the chance to touch him that way so long as I remain in this embrace.

He shifts slightly against me and I immediately panic at the feel of him in that way. My body stiffens straight under him and he pulls back from my lips with a sheepish grin.

There’s an apology in his clear eyes but I won’t have that. I speak before his mouth can form the words.

I blurt out in a pant. “I like kissing you.”

I tuck my head into his shoulder to hide the blush that crosses my cheeks. But it’s too late. He’s already seen it if the dopey smile on his face is any indication.

“I like kissing you too.” His lips find the small space of skin by my hairline that isn’t hidden.

I scoot closer to him and burrow into his chest.

And that motion was a big mistake. Or maybe the best mistake I’ve made today.

We both carreen down into the cushion of soft grass below us when I push Peeta off-balance. A giggle bursts from my mouth unbidden as I land mostly on top of him. His body bears the brunt of the fall but he seems completely fine and a goofy grin crosses his face. He leans up to me and my heart flutters when he pulls me in for another short, sweet kiss. I nestle my knees around his hips and pull back from him with a smile.

I reach my hand to his ear and tuck a wisp of blond back behind his ear. The kisses and our proximity have made me bolder. Bold enough to interrogate him. “What is your little blonde girlfriend going to think about this?”

He sits up to bring his upper body off the damp ground and my body follows him.

“Who?”

I roll my eyes at him. I hold a hand to my chest and bat my eyelashes at him. “Oh Peeta it’s been far too long.”

“So that’s what this was all about. You were jealous?”

“No.” I scowl, crossing my arms tight over my chest.

“Katniss, she’s old enough to be our mother. Maybe even our grandmother.”

“Hmm.” My eyebrow twitches. “Maybe you’re into that sort of thing.”

He wraps his arms tighter around my waist, deliberately lower than where they were last time. He looks into my eyes for any sign that he’s gone too far but I won’t give him any. With a light pressure, he squeezes my backside tentatively with a wolfish grin, as if he’s just gotten away with stealing the last cookie from the cookie jar.

“What I’m into is what I have my hands full of right now.”

“But seriously Katniss, she saved us from the bombing in the Capitol after I tried to drag you away. She visited us both but I was the only one awake when she did.” His eyes are tender as he brushes a sopping wet piece of hair off of my collarbone. “It’s only ever been you my darling girl.”

“And it only ever will be?”

“Always.”

#everlark #one shot #adsofraser writing #thg #the hunger games #everlark fic #jealous katniss #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #post mockingjay

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zorosdimples · 9 months

Text

YOU’RE MINE

pairing ༄ alpha!kakashi x princess!reader

warnings ༄ minors: please do not interact! i will block you. suggestive content, predator/prey dynamics, light a/b/o dynamics, mild descriptions of injuries. reader is a princess, wears a gown, and has an intricate hairstyle, but there are no gendered terms aside from “princess.” kakashi calls reader “pup” once.

word count ༄ 922

notes ༄ everyone can thank cher @honeylavendr for unknowingly?baiting me into writing this. it was really only a matter of time… kakashi is my first love and i’ve lost the omegaverse battle, so this is the result. this has no plot, so just enjoy the whirlwind of emotions!

the cold air bites at your exposed flesh like a hungry wolf. you ignore your discomfort as you hike up the heavy skirt of your gown and delve deeper into the pitch-dark forest. stray moonbeams cut through the dense canopy and illuminate patches of earth and gaps between the trees, your winding path mostly guesswork as you feel your way through the vegetation.

branches sharp as claws rip your gown and flay your flesh, and while you can faintly feel the warm dribble of blood down your frozen temple, it’s difficult to focus on anything other than moving forward. shreds of shimmering velvet catch in brambles as you run, but the sickening sound of fabric tearing doesn’t reach your ears.

after what feels like hours of running, your senses are overwhelmed to the point of numbness. the only absolute truth is your ragged breathing; everything else is hearsay as you float through the night, a whisper among the leaves. the primal urge to just survive is your sole guide.

your lungs burn and legs ache—at least you think they do—but your mind and body are currently separate entities. you know your pace is unsustainable, and you cry out to the gods in relief when you finally crash through the tree line and into a clearing. the moon hangs brightly in the inky sky, light rippling on the surface of a lake so large it stretches beyond the horizon.

you collapse to the ground in a pool of tattered velvet, frantically gasping for air as the tight bodice of your gown painfully squeezes your chest. a wave of nausea rolls over you and you bite back the urge to retch.

stretching your legs out, you clumsily gather your skirt and pull it back, gasping when you see the mottled bruises and bloody gashes that litter your skin. feet in agony, you opt to crawl to the edge of the lake to peer at your reflection in the frigid water.

“you can’t hide from me, princess.”

the smooth taunt stops you mid-crawl, horror blossoming in your gut and unfurling to caress every nerve in your now-trembling body. as if you can no longer control your movements—can you ever when he’s around?—you slowly turn to face the shadowy forest.

you see his eyes before anything else. his right iris shines silver like a honed dagger and his left glows crimson like spilled blood. when kakashi emerges from the cover of darkness, you forget your fear for a moment and bristle with irritation. he looks impeccable—not a strand of hair or thread of clothing is out of place. he doesn’t look like he has been tracking you through the wilderness for hours. for a split second, your right palm itches to slap his perfect face.

kakashi is unhurried as he approaches you, soaking in the sight of the kingdom’s beloved princess at his feet, cowering in defeat. when he reaches you, kneeling down so you are eye level, he decides that you have never looked more beautiful.

your soft face is covered in claret scrapes and angry welts, shiny eyes swollen and dripping hot tears. your hair has fallen out of the intricate updo your handmaiden worked on all afternoon; most of the pearls and pins that once adorned your silken strands would now rot away on the forest floor. the expensive gown that took hundreds of hours of labor and dozens of seamstresses to craft is now unrecognizable.

fear courses through your veins under his scrutiny, but kakashi doesn’t have to look at you to know how you feel. he can smell how terrified you are. it only makes him desire you more.

he reaches out a gloved hand to brush your icy cheek, but you jerk away from his touch. he simply tuts in mock annoyance. “there is nowhere left for you to run, princess.” his coo is cloying as he leans over you. his signature mask covers the bottom half of his face, but when he sees you eyeing the fabric, he slips it down with a cruel smirk. “if you want to look, all you have to do is ask, my little omega.”

you swallow dryly at those words. you are no longer just an omega; you are his omega, his mate. the fetters of royalty have chained you to this man—this monster. kakashi moves to grip both of your arms at the elbows, large hands gently pulling you closer and closer until you tumble into his lap.

“no matter how many times you try to run, i will always find you,” kakashi murmurs into your ear, warm breath lighting a fire beneath your skin. he nuzzles your cheek then grazes his fangs down the side of your neck, leaving goosebumps his wake; you shiver beautifully for him. “do you know why, pup?”

you whimper as kakashi’s lips ghost his mark on the juncture of your neck and shoulder. he kisses the healing wound sweetly before laving his tongue over it until you breathe a pleased sigh. kakashi raises his head to meet your heavy lidded gaze, one hand cradling your face, the other—now gloveless, claws exposed—slicing down the length of your dress until you sit completely bare. his lips meet yours chastely, but for some inexplicable reason, you hunger for more. he pulls back with a chuckle after you try to pry his mouth open with your tongue. both of his hands come up to wrap around your neck, thumbs pressing sharply beneath your chin.

“it’s because you’re mine.”

#please be nice this is my first omegaverse drabble!! i’m trying my best here #kakashi #kakashi hatake #hatake kakashi #kakashi smut #naruto #kakashi x reader #kakashi x y/n #kakashi x you #naruto shippuden #naruto smut #naruto x reader #tw a/b/o #predator/prey #kakashi <3 #༄ kae writes

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jessicaloons · 8 months

Text

Chapter 9:

And when we go crashing down we come back every time..

Masterlist - Previous - Next

TW: Eating disorder

Day 1:

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

I felt the fresh morning air streaming in my lungs. Felt the first rays of sunshine warming my skin.

Silence. No traffic sounds. No humans chatting in the busy streets. No sound from construction sites. Silence. I straightened my back and sat up, spread my legs wide before I leaned forwards. Upper body touching the wooden planks of the porch. I could feel the stretch in my lower back, almost thought I would hear the creaking of the screws and iron plate. Then I got carefully up and leaned all to way to my left side, before I did the same on the right. Back up in my sitting position I closed my eyes again.

Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Starting over again.

Day 4:

"Come on, Liz! 5 more! 4, 3, 2, 1. And down." JK clapped when I slowly got up.

"I hate planks." I said and took the water bottle he offered me "What are we having today?" I took a sip and scrunched up my nose.

"Ginger, lime, mint. Good for the digestive system and also good for stress relief." he answered and I drank some more.

"Ugh, I hate ginger and mint is also not a favourite…" I mumbled and JK rolled his eyes.

"It’s good for you. Period. Get down, your 60 seconds break is over in 3, 2, 1 and plank…" god how I hated him at times, why was he always this freaking positive and cheerful.

Day 7:

"Liz, the race starts in 49 minutes, so if you want to watch it, hurry up." JK shouts from the pier and I try my best to finish the next 12 lengths in time for the race start. As I looked up after some time he waved me to him and I swam as fast as possible.

"Here, 22 minutes left!" he said as he helped me out of the lake and wrapped me in a big towel "Come on, hot tea and lunch are waiting." we make our way up to the cabin. What took me a week ago 9 minutes with crutches now only took me 5, still with crutches but the process was there.

Back in the cabin I made my way into the bathroom, but failed to open up the zipper from the wetsuit.

"JK, can you help me for a second?" I shouted and I heard his steps coming closer "Come in, can you open up the zipper please? My fingers are a little numb…" he pulled the zipper all the way down and turned to leave "My hero.” I chuckled.

"Everything for you, princess." he said obnoxiously sweet and we laughed.

"Get your ass ready, the race starts in a couple of minutes!" he chuckled and left the bathroom.

I watched as the camera panned onto Charles, congratulating Max, then Valtteri, then Lewis. He wasn’t happy, the moment he got out of the car, I could tell by the way he was walking that he wasn’t anywhere near satisfied.

"Hey Charlie, good race!" I said as his face appeared on my phone 4 hours later, he looks exhausted, unsatisfied, but also a little sad "What’s going on? Why that face? I know P4 is nothing we celebrate really. But come on! With that car?"

"I still want to win, no matter how shit the car is! Did you see Sainz? He was leading with a fucking McLaren!" Charles sighed and I wished for nothing more than to be able to hug him. "He’s my teammate next year and there are already so many articles out there! That he will be dominating me, he will give me a run for my money! What does that even mean?"

"It means they’re all idiots! Don’t listen to the media! Just do your races and don’t care what others have to say!" I tried to cheer him up.

"Yeah, you’re right! So tell me, how was the first week?" he changed the topic and I understood that he didn’t want to talk longer about the race. So I started to tell him about my recovery, what progress I made already in one week and soon after we were talking about random stuff none of us would know the next day anything about anymore. But just us talking felt better than anything else in the world.

Day 14:

"Hey Seb!" I exclaimed as he opened the back door for me.

"Lizzie! It’s so good to see you!" he said and pulled me carefully in his arms "How are you? How’s the recovery going?"

"It’s good to be back at the racetrack! And it’s going great. JK is literally my saviour! Oh here… Seb this is JK, my physio therapist." I introduced them and they shook hands "Does he know I’m coming?"

"Nope, all top secret. I hope there was no problem at the entrance?" Seb answered and I smiled "You’re a bit late. I hope he’s not in the car already! I told Sylvia to tell them to wait but with her you never know."

"We were sent to a different entrance because the one you told us was apparently only for staff." I said and he just scoffed.

"That’s why I told Syl-… never mind, come in now!" he ushered us through the garage as someone called him out.

"Seb! You need to get in the car! Now! You’re the last driver!"

"Shit! I’m sorry Lizzie! But I’ll tell him that you’re here before I get in my car!" Seb apologised and I just laughed.

"That’s ok! And now run!" I ushered him away as one of the Ferrari staff members brought us to our places and handed us both our headsets.

"It’s really cool to have you here, Lizzie!" the guy said and walked away smiling.

I watched how Seb jumped through the opening in the fence and ran straight to Charles' car, he leaned down and waved in my direction, Charles' head turned faster than the speed of light and I waved at him.

"Lizzie? Oh my god! What are you doing here?" Joris almost shouted and I turned in his direction.

"I wanted to surprise Charles, I was just a little late." I answered and Joris hugged me.

"If he wins today, it’s because of you for sure!" he laughed and I just grinned.

P3. Gino tapped on my shoulder and I looked up at him and he gently side hugged me.

"Ciao bella! Come on Lizzie, let’s go to the barriers! I’ll make sure that no one comes too close to you!" he said and I nodded, then I looked at JK.

"Go! But be careful!" he said and I chuckled.

"Yes, Dad!"

He jumped out of his car and as he was on his way to his team he stopped abruptly when he saw me, he pulled his helmet off and ran straight up to me before he scooped me up in his arms.

"Hey, ma belle!" he whispered and I giggled like a little kid.

"Put me down, Charles!" I laughed and he set me down "Congrats, Charlie bear!"

"Thanks. It seems like you’re my lucky charm, you should stick around!" he said and I blushed "What are you doing here?"

"You looked so sad last Sunday, I don’t know, something was off, I wanted to surprise you and asked Seb for help." I whispered and looked down, he tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and embraced me again.

"I’m so happy that you’re here, ma belle!" he whispered and then he sighed happily.

"Charles, your team is waiting. And your interview. And your weighing! Come on!" I laughed and he let go of me, although reluctantly.

Day 15:

"It’s so peaceful!" Charles said and inhaled deeply as we sat on the porch, watching the sunrise, as we arrived just in time "I’m glad that I decided to join you for some days!"

"Me too, Charlie, me too." I whispered, suppressing a yawn and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Let’s get you to bed, ma belle!" he said but I shook my head, as the first sunbeams of the day were gently kissing my face.

"Just a couple more minutes, this is nice…" I pleaded and Charles sighed.

"Yeah, it really is!" he answered and gently leaned his head on mine.

I opened my eyes and realised I was laying in the bed of my bedroom. I slowly got up. Out of bed, walking out the room. On the sofa sitting were Charles, reading a book and JK sketching something in his mysterious book.

"Boys." I said and they flinched.

"You’re up." Charles patted the sofa next to him and I sat down.

"Barely." I yawned and closed my eyes again, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Then why did you get up?"he asked and JK chuckled.

"You’re leaving on Wednesday, I don’t want to sleep through most of it!" I whispered and Charles put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side.

"Ma belle, it’s not even 12… and I’ll leave on Wednesday in the evening. We have enough time." he answered and I nodded.

"I’d say let’s have a nice little walk? And later on, we’re having a little cheat day? You wanted to use the pizza oven outside, Liz?" JK clapped his hands together and got up "I prepared some dough and we’ve got a lot of that good marinara sauce you loved so much! On our way back we’ll pick up the groceries in the store and then it’s pizza night!"

"Sounds like a plan!" Charles nudged my shoulder and I sighed "Come on! Show me how beautiful it is here!"

"I’ll fire up the oven, you guys prepare the toppings!" JK commands and Charles and I nod.

"So, we have mushrooms, bell pepper, pepperoni, salami, ham and look at that cheese!" I said as Charles washed his hands and grabbed some bowls, cutting boards and knives. As I washed my hands Charles was already munching on the first slice of ham "Charles!"

"I have to check the quality of the product! And if it’s still good! I don’t want you to get a food poisoning!" he shrugged and I laughed.

"And you’re trying the ham then for what?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I’m getting to the veggies, don’t worry! But what about JK and myself? Our safety doesn’t mean anything to you?" he asked, acting shocked.

"I’m sorry! You’re absolutely right!" I laughed.

"Thank you, ma belle! I guess it’s safe to say that ham is all good!" he said and put the ham slices in one of the bowls "Next salami!"

I laughed and began cutting the veggies, throwing them in different bowls.

"How are we doing, guys?" JK walked back in the kitchen, checking the bowls "The fire is burning quite nicely, dough is ready. I’d say, another, maybe 30 minutes and we can throw some pizzas in there!"

"Alright, here, Charles, put all the bowls on the tray, I’ll grab the sauce and something to drink, JK, can you grab plates and glasses? Oh and a spoon or whatever for the sauce!" I said and walked over to the fridge, grabbing some of JKs homemade lemonade and the sauce.

Outside Charles and I set the table, lighting some candles and JK took care of the fire. I sat down and watched as the last rays of sunshine coloured the sky in all shades of orange, red and pink. I shivered a little and pulled my knees up to my chin and wrapped my arms around them, watching as the sun slowly disappeared behind the mountain tops.

"Here." Charles stood next to me with one of his hoodies and helped me into it "Better?"

"Better!" I smiled at him and as his scent engulfed me, I blushed a little.

"Alright guys! It’s pizza time!" JK exclaimed and Charles held out his hand and helped me up.

We each made a pizza with the toppings of our choices and JK professionally shoved them into the pizza oven with the shovel. After a minute the air was filled with the mouthwatering smell of our pizza’s. JK turned them to make sure they bake evenly.

"It smells delicious!" I said and Charles nodded in agreement.

"Now it only has to taste like it smells!" JK laughed and checked on the pizza "I’d say they’re done!"

"Pizza time!" I clapped as Charles held out the plates and JK put the pizzas on. He then sat the plate with my pizza in front of me and plopped down next to me on the bench.

"They look amazing!" Charles said and filled our glasses with lemonade, then he held his up and JK and I did the same and we toasted them together "Cheers!"

The first bite of the pizza was heavenly and I groaned.

"After weeks and weeks of Buddha bowls and wholewheat pasta and protein stuff, this pizza is the best thing I ever ate in my life!" I said and Charles and JK laughed "I’m serious!"

"It’s definitely far up, that’s for sure!" Charles laughed and JK nodded.

For the next few minutes we ate and talked about everything from racing to traveling. Indulging into our cheat meal, after a while the conversation died down and a content silence fell over us. I saw in the corner of my eyes how Charles and JK glanced over at my plate and I heard JK sighing when he realised I only ate 2 slices of my pizza, but he didn’t say anything.

"I’ll bring the stuff in and head to bed. I’ll have an early FaceTime session in the morning! Don’t stay up too late, kids!" JK got up and put the box with the dough and his plate on the tray, then gestured to my plate and me like he wanted me to eat more then he walked inside.

I sighed and played with another slice of my pizza.

"I thought it’s the best thing you ate in your life?" Charles asked and I looked at him confused "Doesn’t look like it."

"I’m just not that hungry…" I answered and shrugged my shoulders but Charles looked at me for a while.

"You’re okay, right?" he almost whispered it and I looked up "You would tell me if there’s something wrong?" I nodded.

"It’s just, all of these super foods and nutrient boasted stuff I’m eating right now because of JK is a lot! I know it’s healthy and it’s a good fullness but I feel bloated sometimes! I swear!" I laughed and tried to convince Charles and he eyed me questioningly for a moment but then nodded.

"But come on! Eat at least another slice of pizza! It’s seriously one of the best I’ve ever had!" he said and I smiled and bit into the slice.

"Damn! I wished we had some pineapple." I said and Charles' face scrunched up in disgust.

"Please, please, tell me you’re joking! Ma belle! Since when do you eat that!" he sounds disappointed.

"Oh relax, I was just kidding." I laughed.

"Good! I was thinking there’s something wrong with your brain!" he said but as soon as the words left his mouth he looked at me horrified "Oh god! Lizzie, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t thinking! I’m so, so sorry! Fuck! I am stupid! Ma belle, please believe me…" he began but I only shook my head laughing.

"Stop! Charles, it’s alright! I know you didn’t mean it!" I said but he still looked beyond shocked. I turned to him and grabbed his hand "Hey! Come on! It’s really okay! I know you didn’t mean it in any bad way!"

"I wasn’t thinking! But still, I shouldn’t have said that! I’m so sorry!" he looked down at our hands and sighed.

"Charlie, can you please look at me?" I say quietly but he didn’t move so I laid my hand on his cheek and turned his face towards me "Hi… please, listen to me when I say that it is okay! Really!" he leaned in closer, our foreheads resting against each other and he inhaled deeply.

"Still, I’m sorry ma belle!" he whispered and I only nod slightly, sitting back up "I didn’t think… it’s just a saying and…"

"Shhh… stop, please!" I put my finger on his lips to silence him "Stop apologising. It’s fine. I’m fine. Okay?" he nods slowly and I look up at him, right hand still on his cheek, left index finger on his lips. This close I could see all the tiny freckles on Charles nose, his thick, long lashes framing his eyes, eyes so beautiful I could get lost in them, over and over again. He looked deep in my eyes, one hand at my hip, the other covering mine on his cheek. Charles closed his eyes and swallowed hard, as he opened them he leaned in even closer.

"Good night guys." JK’s voice made us both flinch and pull away from each other.

Charles cleared his throat and ruffled his hair and my breathing was erratic. What just happened?

"It’s getting late? I think I’ll take a long shower and then go to bed!" I said and faked a yawn and Charles nodded.

"Yeah, you go showering, I’ll take care of the dishes!" Charles got up and grabbed our plates and glasses and then walked away, but then he turned around "I’ll put your pizza in the fridge!" then he left.

I took a deep breath and walked inside, straight into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror, shaking my head. Nothing happened. It was just a vulnerable moment because he was scared he hurt me. All good. Right?

Day 16:

After a good swim in the lake, we walked back up and I almost slipped, but JK thankfully caught me and we laughed. He held me close to him, just to annoy me but I laughed it off, shaking my head. Back at the house after taking my shoes off he pulled the zipper of my wetsuit down and I walked straight into my room. Getting out of the wetsuit I noticed a little bruise on my spine and called for JK, I put a towel on my front and waited for him.

"Is that from the black roll?" I asked as soon as he walked in and looked at me confused "That bruise above my ass!" he looked down and gently stroked over it.

"Does it hurt?" he asked and applied a little pressure but I shook my head "Now?" he rubbed a little stronger and I nodded "Alright. Seems like you’re making something wrong here… we’ll have a look tomorrow when we’re using it again." he said and I nodded "And now take a shower, you’re shivering!" and he left.

Day 17:

"I don’t want you to go!" I whispered as Charles hugged me tight.

"The season is almost over and then we’ll see each other way more! I promise!" he said and I smiled "I’ll text you as soon as I’m in Maranello!" he kissed my forehead, then he shook JKs hand and got in his car.

"I see you in a bit, ma belle!" Charles smiled.

"Bye, Charlie bear and please drive carefully!" I said and he nodded, then he drove off and JK pushed me back in as it slightly started to rain.

"Alright, Liz. Some light stretching and maybe a bit of cardio?" he suggested and I nodded.

"Let’s go!"

Day 21:

"Liz? Liz? Are you still sleeping? Liz?" the door opened slowly and JK poked through the crack "Liz? Are you awake? Come on. 4:00! We gotta get going if we want to see the sunrise!"

I didn’t move. I didn’t flinch. I only groaned and blinked rapidly. Trying to at least make something in my body move, but to no avail. JK realised that something was off and came to my side, kneeled down and switched on the lamp on the nightstand.

"Liz? Can you hear me?" he asked and I nodded slightly. Trying to even out my breathing "Lizzie? What is happening? What was that?"

"Give me a minute…" my voice was hoarse and my throat was dry. He got up and came a moment later back with a glass of water and helped me to gulp it down "Thanks."

He helped me sit up slowly and waited for me to start talking whenever I was ready.

"After I woke up from the coma, it was maybe a week later? I fell asleep, but then I woke up… and it felt like… I couldn’t move. Nothing reacted. Not even wiggling my toes. But I was awake. I looked around, but I couldn’t move. I panicked, I thought that the last week where I was awake was just a dream and I was still in the coma, like I never woke up from it and I could feel how breathing became harder and harder. I could hear these voices laughing that they would pull the plug on me. There were these shadows kind of lurking over me and I was so freaking scared. And it all felt just like it did when I really was in a coma, so yeah… I thought I’m still not awake. So I tried to thrash around the bed, but to no avail. I don’t know how long it went on like this but I woke up the next morning, feeling like shit. Muscles sore and tense, tired and exhausted. And with a headache I never had before… after that it happened more often… just like in Monaco whenever… whenever… yeah well I googled a little and I’m pretty sure it’s sleep…" I explained to JK.

"Sleep paralysis." he said it at the same time as me and looked up in horror "Please tell me you’ve told the doctors about it?" and as I shook my head slightly he pushed himself of the ground "Lizzie! For fucks sake!"

"I told Dr. Friese that I felt tense and had strong headaches. I didn’t told him the rest. How could I?" I said and JK sat down next to me.

"You said, you heard someone saying they would pull the plug on you… but you’re not supposed to know about that?" he looked at me with big eyes and I gulped.

"I was kind of awake. Sometimes I could hear the people talk, open my eyes a little crack…" I whispered and tears were streaming down my face. JK pulled me into him and rubbed my back soothingly "I didn’t tell anyone, because mum and dad already felt guilty enough that they decided to let them pull the plug on me. If they knew that I knew about it? That I heard it? That I was kinda awake the whole time? JK they would never forgive themselves!" I sobbed out and he just held me close.

"It’s going to be okay, you hear me Liz?" he said and I nodded "We might need to slow down a little. Focus more on your mental health at this point… don’t look at me like that. You’re doing great, physically! We’re far more ahead in your recovery than I thought we would be! So we can slow down a little. And I think it’s important to find you the right help… because what you went through, what you’re still going through is something I can’t help you with. So we will look for help." I sighed but nodded.

"I just don’t want anyone to find out. About everything! The coma, the sleep paralysis, the…" I stopped and JK only nodded.

"I know, Liz, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who noticed it." he said and I looked at him confused "You have an eating disorder. Don’t deny it. I’ve seen you. What you’re eating is not enough. And what you’re eating is pretty often exiting your body the way it entered. I’ve heard it."

"It’s just the stress. And I’m just not hungry anymore. Dr. Friese said it could be the trauma, the meds and stuff." I looked down at my hands.

"Yeah, that’s normal for the first 3-4 weeks. And not 3 months later. I’m sorry for being so blunt. But sometimes you need nothing more than someone being straight up with you! We will tackle that as well!" JK said it gently and I only nodded "For now, let’s get back to bed and sleep as long as you need."

I laid back down and he tucked me in, then he squeezed my hand and left. I fell asleep almost immediately

Day 25:

Another day without any message or call from Charles. Since he left a week ago I received barely any messages from him, one that he arrived safely in Maranello and had a lot going on the next day, but he said he would call in the evening, he didn’t, I asked why he didn’t call, no reply, one day later a message that he arrived in Monaco and yesterday that he’s now in Turkey. But that was it. No small talk, no jokes, no nothing. And when I tried to call him, he didn’t pick up. Maybe because of what happened, no what almost happened, he felt guilty? He had Camille after all. Maybe I should accept that she was right from the beginning, Charles’ full focus should be on her, as she was his girlfriend. Not me. Maybe I had to…

"Hello Lizzie, my name is Dr. Lindner, I’ve talked a lot about you with JK… so why don’t we start with you telling me everything that happened from let’s say the start of this year." Dr. Christian Lindner, therapist specialised in stress and trauma sequelae, was the one therapist that stood out for JK and would be the one I should confide in. He seemed to be a really nice guy, still I felt a little awkward sitting here and telling him about what happened.

"Even before the accident?" I asked and he nodded.

"Everything that changed from this year to last year. Family, friends, job. I want to know everything." he smiled encouragingly and I took a deep breath.

"Alright, good for you that we’re paying you hourly…" I joked and he laughed.

"Why do you think I chose this profession in the first place?" he countered and I laughed. Maybe this could work. He was funny.

"The year started, well not so good…" I began to tell him everything, Charles and Camille, Camille and her friends hating me, the cancellation of the WSeries for this year, me gaining some weight and Camille's comments, me trying to eat less to nothing to lose the weight again, overdoing it a little, the accident, being kind of awake, the video, me wishing I had died that day, the recovery, the sleep paralysis, Charles not talking to me anymore. As I looked up at him he smiled and handed me a box of tissues, somewhere along the way I had started to cry, I didn’t even feel it.

"Thank you Lizzie, for being this open and honest with me!" he said after he gave me a minute to gather myself.

"I swear I didn’t expect to let this all out! I’m so sorry!" I said a little embarrassed but he shook his head.

"No! Don’t apologise! This was exactly what I needed from you! It’s normal that once the floodgates are open everything comes out. That’s a good thing! This way I’ll be able to help you better. Because although your life… well I’m not one to sugarcoat things, there’s a lot of shit going on. And a lot of shit that you need help with to cope with. And that’s why I’m here. We will tackle every obstacle on its own. Step by step. I’m not setting a timeframe, we will be done when we will be done. But for now I think the most urgent matters are your anxiety, the eating disorder and your obvious feelings for Charles Leclerc." he said and I nodded but then I realised what he said at last "I’m not just a funny guy, Lizzie, this is my job. So… you and Charles and Camille? That’s also one of the main topics we’re starting with!" I nodded slowly.

Was this something I wanted to talk about every other day? No. Was this something I wanted to think about all the time? No. Will talking about it help me? Probably.

"Yay… I can’t wait…" I said sarcastically and Dr. Lindner just laughed.

"No one said that it’s going to be easy or that you would like it!" he chuckled and I just rolled my eyes "You built walls around you and I’m here to wreck them down… but don’t worry, I will stand with you on the rubble and sing “I’ve been looking for freedom”." And that made me laugh again "So, why do you think he ghosted you? Is it even ghosting when he texts you?"

"3 messages! Just to tell me that he arrived at his planned destinations! It’s just because we almost… we almost…" I sighed and shook my head "We almost kissed I think…"

"You think?" Dr. Lindner asked and I just nodded "And that’s a bad thing because? Let’s forget about Camille for a second. It’s just you and Charles."

"Just because I have these feelings, doesn’t mean he has them. And what about our friendship? I can’t live without him in my life. That’s just not possible! But what if I lose him because he doesn’t feel the same?" I said and leaned back on the sofa, hands covering my face.

"So it’s more the fear of losing him, that makes you feel like this? Not the fact that he has a girlfriend, that is not you?" he pressed and I sighed.

"Yeah, I don’t know. Both I guess?" I mumbled and he nodded.

"Alright, that’s something we can work with." he scribbled something down in his notebook and sat up a little straighter "And your anxiety and trouble with eating comes from, let me guess, Camille?" I only nodded "Yeah, that fits the pattern. It’s your own insecurities and feelings that are getting in your way. And with whatever she’s saying to you, she’s playing right into it."

"But can we fix that?" I asked quietly and Dr. Lindner nodded.

"Yes, we can. And we will. For today, I’d say it’s enough. I work out a therapy plan and I talked to JK already. He will help you with your eating. We’ll get there. Don’t worry." He got up and I did as well "I’ll see you on Monday! Goodbye!"

"Thank you, for the talk. Have a nice weekend!" I said and he smiled, before he left.

"How do you feel?" JK asked as he walked in and I sat down again.

"Better. Maybe this will work out." I answered and he nodded.

"It will." he said and I smiled a little.

"Yeah, I think so too."

Day 28:

P4. No call. No FaceTime. No message. Only pictures of him and Camille in the paddock. I texted him after the race that it was a good one and it almost was a podium. No response. JK sensed that something was off but didn’t push me to talk to him. I ate, went to bed and fought the tears. To no avail. I cried. A lot. Why did he ignore me? Was it really because of what happened? I called him, for the hundredth time and finally he picked up.

"Charles? Hi!" I began.

"Hi. This is Charles. Leave a message and I’ll call back." Voicemail.

I wanted to hang up. But all the frustration and sadness erupted and I let it all out.

"Charles… I-I don’t know what I’ve done that you’re so mad at me! I don’t know why you suddenly don’t call or text back anymore! I just… I’m sorry for what happened. Well almost happened! But it’s unfair to just cut me- I just miss you. Okay? Please just text me back! Tell me how to fix this! Tell me what I can do to fix us! Please, Charles! Please don’t leave me!" I sobbed into the phone desperately and as the announcement came, if I wanted to keep the message or delete it and re-record it, I deleted it and hung up. Then I cried myself to sleep.

Day 35:

One week of daily therapy sessions.

One week of daily meditation sessions.

One week of daily cooking classes.

One week of daily desperately checking my phone, with nothing from Charles.

One week of daily stupid jokes from JK to cheer me up.

Sleep. Eat. Therapy. Meditation. Repeat.

Day 36:

I sat buried under a ton of blankets on the sofa. Tear stained face. Headache.

"Hey princess. I thought we would go for a little walk?" JK asked as he walked in and looked around the room "Liz?" he was about to leave as he heard the rustling "Are you under there?"

"Yup." I mumbled and sat up.

"Okay. Not concerning at all. Come on. We’re going for a walk." he said and pulled me up.

"I don’t want to. I can walk just fine" I grumbled but he just grabbed my shoulders and turned me around, pushing me towards the door.

"Well, it could be better. You still need every couple of minutes a break and your legs are sore in the evening. So come on. Let’s go." he stood at the door and put his shoes on before he nudged me a little to do the same.

"Fine! Can’t be that bad." It wasn’t fine. And it was that bad. Not even halfway through I twisted my ankle a little and we had to head back home, where JK helped me on the sofa, left to get the first aid kit and then took my shoe off and checked my ankle. He was gentle and the pain wasn’t too bad, still I couldn’t help myself but tears were streaming down my face. JK looked up as I sobbed and gently pulled me into his arms. I don’t know how long we sat like this. But after a while, when no more tears were left to cry I sat up and looked up at JK. He smiled down at me and wiped the tears from my face with his thumbs. He was always so caring for me. Cheering me up. Supported me through this time. Always trying to make me feel better. I leaned in and kissed him, almost. JK pulled back and I blushed. I was shell shocked and scrambled off of the sofa, trying to walk away as fast as possible but my ankle gave in and I almost fell, JK catching me, like always.

"Lizzie, hey, look at me." he said and I shook my head.

"I’m fine, please let me go." I tried to pull away but JK didn’t budge.

"Lizzie, can we talk about this like adults?"

"No, JK. I’m sorry. I’m just- please let me go…" I whispered and the tears were back. JK gently pushed me down on the sofa and sat next to me.

"Look at me, please Lizzie." he said and I took a deep breath, before glancing up a little "It’s okay. Something like this happens quite often… it’s just normal. You’re vulnerable right now. You’ve been through a lot and usually Charles would be the one you feel attached to, because he is the one always by your side. But now it’s me. You see me as the one constant in your life right now. Like an anchor. So you’re transferring your feelings from the one you really love onto the one who gives you stability and safety at the moment. And that is me. But it’s not real feelings. Okay? It's okay. Nothing happened, it’s all good between us." he said it so gently that I swallowed hard and looked up.

"Charles and I almost kissed when he was here and now he’s ghosting me. What if… what if it’s the same with you?" I whispered and JK sighed.

"It’s not because of that, Liz." JK said and I was confused "I told him to lay a bit low for a while."

"What? Why would you do that?" I was furious and got up "You saw how hurt I was the past two and a half weeks because of that? And you didn’t say anything? Why?"

"Because first of all you had to start focusing on yourself! And not on Charles! Lizzie you were constantly checking in on him, whenever he was down, you were down and unmotivated. Your recovery was, is, more important right now and you should finally see that! And secondly, I needed you to finally face the truth that you are in love with Charles! You had to finally see that this denial is only making anything worse for you. You had to be honest to yourself and I had to trigger that. And look at that. You’re finally open up, finally be true to yourself and admit that you’re not fucking ok. So yes. Scream and shout and fight with me all you want. But you’re finally able to talk about your emotions instead of locking them inside, building walls that are higher than the fucking Sky Tower!" he was breathing heavily and I stood there contemplating what he just said. I closed my eyes and slowly sat down again. He hesitantly did the same and I looked at him for a second. Then I leaned back and laid my leg on his thighs.

"Is it sprained?" I asked and JK looked at me for a moment before he checked my ankle again "And what the fuck is the Sky Tower?" JK laughed.

"What?" he asked and took one of the bandages out.

"You said I build walls higher than the Sky Tower…" I answered and hissed a little when he secured the bandage and took a second one.

"It’s a telecommunications tower in Auckland." he said as he finished bandaging my ankle.

"I’m still mad at you. And at Charles. He shouldn’t have listened to you! How could he read all my messages and not even once answer me! And what did you tell him why he shouldn’t talk to me anymore? Not because of my feelings?" I sighed and JK only nodded.

"It’s okay, I broke your trust on this one, I’m sorry. I promise you it won’t happen again, only if you let me no other choice… just kidding! Maybe not. But anyways. I told him that you couldn’t focus on yourself if you’re always worried about him. And he couldn’t focus on his season, if he’s always worried about you. So yeah. I promised him to update him every now and then, which I did. But that was it." JK wriggled my ankle a little and as I didn’t react he carefully lifted it off and stood up "I’m sorry, Lizzie. I tried everything with you, but you wouldn’t open up to me. So I had to make you more vulnerable in order for your shell to crack." he walked out of the room and I closed my eyes. Although I was still mad at him, I understood why he did it. Why was he always right?

Day 66:

The last weeks were filled with more therapy, more meditation, more work outs to strengthen my core and built back some muscles, but mostly to get the needed nutrition back into my body. I could almost eat normally, without thinking about Camilles words with every bite I took. The anxiety induced by her almost gone. Only once was the sleep paralysis back. The last time my brain was lagging when I spoke a lot was at one of the earlier therapy sessions. When we were talking about how Camilles presence affected me. Over all I thought I was on a really good way. Charles still didn’t text me. After I texted him that I knew about what JK said and he ignored the message, again, I was worried. Didn’t he know what to say, after we’ve almost kissed? I thought he would answer. Maybe even apologise. A lot. Nothing and it hurt to know that it was this easy for him, to cut me out. Unfortunately it was something I couldn’t change, but talking about it with Dr. Lindner helped a lot.

"How do you feel today?" he asked and I shrugged a little.

"I’m nervous… in 4 days I’ll see my family again. After months. I don’t know, it’s weird. I think it was a good decision to stay alone here, to tell them not to visit me, after my feelings where such a mess after Charles left… although that wasn’t the reason, I know." I said and scratched my chin.

"How do you feel about seeing Charles again?" Dr. Lindner asked and I swallowed audibly "Ahh. That good, huh?" he chuckled.

"No, it’s fine. I mean. I know how I feel about him. And I know that these feelings are okay to have. I won’t deny them anymore to myself. But that’s it. Charles and I are friends. Best friends. Losing him would be the worst that could happen. So I have to accept these feelings. But I also have to accept that he has a girlfriend…" I answered.

"Very mature. But we talked about the effects Camille has on you? And we talked about how you have to be honest with Charles how you feel about her? How she treats you? And that she is one of the reasons for your anxiety and eating issues?" he asked and I nodded "That’s good. Really, Lizzie. You’ve come a long way in the last month. I think in the new year, we will start with 3 sessions a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday? As my office is in Stuttgart, that’s very convenient."

"I knew it! I knew you were Swabian, too! Although you tried really hard to not let it out!" I laughed and he just chuckled.

"I can hide it most definitely better than you!" I nodded at that and we both got up "Have a nice break! Relax. Talk to Charles. You’re family, tell them about the issues you’re still facing. From that on, it’s going to be easier!" he said and hugged me.

"Thank you, a lot! I feel so much better!" I said and as he released me he grinned.

"That’s why they pay me the big bucks!" and with that he left.

"Okay, Liz! I’d say the next few days we focus a bit more on cardio? And then I’ll get you back home on Sunday!" JK looked at me determined and I nodded.

Home. The first time after I left for Monaco I would be home again. The first time in months that I would see my family again. And the first time after our almost kiss, I would see Charles again, as him and Pascale, Arthur and Lorenzo were going to celebrate Christmas with us. I wasn’t scared. I was nervous. How do you tell your best friend, that you’re in love with, that his girlfriend, he’s in love with, is one of the main reasons for your anxiety and eating issues over the past months?

Merry fucking Christmas.

————————————————————————-

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 9 is out, sorry for the delay - I had a little trouble writing that one, but it’s done (finally!). Next chapter will be a little bit different. You’ll see^^

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram.

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astarionmademewriteit · 6 months

Text

Death Would be Too Easy

Astarion (Unascended) x (unnamed Durge) female reader/tav

Rating: Explicit

MDNI. 18+ ONLY. Blank bios will be blocked.

Wordcount: 5k

Tags: Smut; Act 3 Durge spoilers; Blood, gore and violence; Suicide attempt (tav); Drowning; Fingering; Piv sex; Slight Sub/Dom dynamic; Tiny fluff ending.

Summary: Dark urge tav has had enough of killing and the subsequent loneliness in her life and decides to try and end it. Astarion comes to her rescue, commiserates with her suffering and tries to make her (and himself) feel better.

Author note: This is my first fic so be kind 🥲

I glance around the forest, shrouded in darkness–not a sound save the lively insects and the occasional hoot of an owl. I drag the body of my victim to the edge of an unsuspecting ditch and let them fall to the ground. I huff out of exhaustion, considering I haven’t slept in what felt like ages. I wipe the sweat from my brow and place a foot on the back of my victim, ready to dispose of them for good.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

I glance down at the blood on my hands–recognizing the ways in which my thrill for killing has slowly lost its edge. I send a quick prayer to father, but it is empty–hollow and missing its usual vigor. I sigh deeply, transfixed on washing away the evidence from my brutal killing. The blood seeps into every pore of my skin, almost as if my body invites its welcome essence.

I glance down at my victim, their eyes gouged out of their skull, blood leaking from every stab wound inflicted to their chest and abdomen. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. A wave of guilt washes over me. It has been decades since I felt any remorse for my actions. However, having been displaced from my home and severed from all my familial and cult ties, a little bit of humanity seeps into my very soul. I kick their body down into the ditch, the lifeless husk crashing into roots and stone until it comes to rest on the banks of a ravine.

I turn back to the forest, peering into the dark. I feel something’s eyes on me, traipsing through the dark with a curious gaze. I brush it off–not the slightest concern tugs at my mind. I am the most dangerous thing lurking in these woods. I start back towards camp, looking forward to a quick dip in the lake.

I pass by my companions, sleeping soundlessly around the fire–the others tucked away in their tents awaiting dawn’s kiss. I note Astarion is not in his bedroll, no doubt suckling from some unappetizing beast. It’s almost comforting to know that I am not the only nighttime killer, even if no one else is aware that I too lurk in the shadows, killing innocent lives in the name of a God who has not seen it necessary to save me from this predicament I have found myself in. I cannot help but wonder why I continue to ritually murder fellow vagabonds, especially when I receive no reward–not even the pleasure that used to accompany slaughter.

I shake my thoughts away and walk to the shore, watching as the moonlight bounces off the gentle waves that lap against my feet. I grab the hem of my shirt and pull it overhead, discarding it further up the beach. I move to my pants, unlacing them slowly, savoring the way the cool night air kisses my bloodstained skin. Once my clothes have been discarded, I test the water, it was cool but not unbearable. I let my hair down and wade into the refreshing water.

The blood slides from my skin and tendrils of red swirl along the surface of the water as I venture deeper into the pond. I dive the rest of the way in, ready to rid myself of the violence I committed earlier. I sink to the bottom, and for a moment, I will myself to stay. Perhaps I should die here. End my suffering. Bhaal knows that if I left this world, then it would be saved from any more of the suffering I would be forced to unleash.

My vision goes blurry. If I weren’t under water, tears would surely slip from my eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut. They would be false tears. A cold-blooded murderer does not weep for its victims. That’s all I am after all–heartless, unfeeling, an empty shell for my father to puppet.

Darkness begins to take over my vision, my lungs yearn for breath and my body is in agony. I would be better off dead. I will never love. I will never know a gentle touch. I am doomed to a future filled with blood and gore. At least this way I can save what little soul I have left.

My head grows foggy and I can feel my heart slowing. My body is ready to gasp for air that will not come. Instead my lungs will fill with water and I will sink away, forgotten by the world. I have made my peace with that.

Before I can drift away, a loud splash interrupts my thoughts. I dare not open my eyes or break my concentration. My body will want to reach the surface, and I am unwilling to allow my antagonisms to ruin this world. A pair of strong arms wrap around me roughly and pull me to the surface. I try to fight against my so-called rescuer–beating at their chest and fighting against their grip… to no avail. My head breaches the surface and my body instinctively pulls air into my lungs. I gasp loudly, welcoming the air as it enters my agonizingly painful lungs.

I cough uncontrollably, my head swimming with pressure. Once I catch my breath I open my eyes, only to be met with those dangerous vermillion eyes that I have come to know over the last few weeks.

Astarion looks at me annoyingly, clearly not impressed by my suicide attempt. I glare at him while my breathing calms. I slam my fists into his chest as my anger resurfaces.

“Why?! Why did you save me,” my voice breaks, betraying my hopelessness, “I-I wanted to die you prick.” A tear falls from my eye and my body shakes with unfiltered rage and torment as I continue to scream obscenities in his direction and beat my fists on his bare chest.

Astarion does not let go of his grip around my waist, his arms snake around my waist and interlock into an inescapable prison. His face is set in stone and none of the hurtful things I hurl in his direction seem to phase him. Instead he sits there quietly until I grow tired of badgering him.

My exhausted body cannot take anymore and I burst into tears, the repressed emotions spilling out of me like a dam breaking. I cry, my screams of agony and sorrow flow unfiltered.

Astarions arms tighten around me, “Just let it out,” he whispers gently. His firm grip on me refuses to allow me to fall below the water’s surface once again, so I do as he says. I let my sorrow unfold in the ugliest of ways, letting it crash down in devastating pain.

I nuzzle my head into his chest and unleash all of my sorrow. I cry for the love I will never feel. I cry for the pain I have inflicted on countless people. I cry for the loneliness that has plagued my blackened heart for so long–the feeling of isolation and duty weigh so heavily on my soul that I can feel its crushing burden. I allow myself to unburden my sorrows, not even caring how utterly foolish I must look to the vampire.

Astrion slips an arm under my legs and starts towards the shore. I wrap my arms around his neck, accepting that he will not allow me to drown tonight. We emerge from the water and he sets me on a log and quietly walks to his tent to retrieve a blanket to cover my naked body.

Once his blanket is draped over my shoulder he begins building a fire on the shore and allowing me time to collect myself. His scent completely engulfs me, his embroidered blanket smells strong of his scent–bergamot, brandy, and a hint of musk. I drink it in, letting it soothe the heaviness of my emotions. I watch as Astarion breathes life into the fire–the flames licking up the sides of the logs and illuminating his ruby-red eyes.

His gaze meets mine before he moves to sit next to me on the log. I look at him, half-expecting him to lecture me on my stupidity. Instead, the look he gives me is one of understanding.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks after a moment. His eyes search mine. I break our gaze and turn to the fire, contemplating on how much I should tell him. If I tell him about my need for slaughter, my uncontrollable state of bloodlust, will he still understand? Or will he wish that he had never pulled me from the water?

“I… There’s something wrong with me,” I stammer, unable to meet his gaze out of shame. I can barely bring the words to my lips, “I think it would be easier to show you,” I mumble. I turn to look at him. His eyes search mine once again, a look of worry paints his face. It’s almost as if he doesn’t want to intrude on my privacy.

“It’s okay,” I whisper, wrapping the blanket tighter around my shoulders, “I want you to see,” I make up my mind. I open my mind up, allowing the tadpole to reach out to him, waiting for him to latch on to my memories… to my past and my fears.

He nods his head and pushes his mind into my thoughts. I allow him to peer into my past, the thousands of ritual slaughters I have committed in my father’s name. I show him my childhood–bloodspawn teaching me the location of the main arteries, the most precise cuts to inflict, and the reverent slaughter I was to commit in Bhaal’s name. I show him the countless faces of my victims after death, their lifeless gaze, their blood draining into pools in Bhaal’s temple below the city. I show him the aching loneliness I feel, the isolation I subject myself to. The emotional ties I have cut with others, to save myself the sorrow for when I inevitably end their lives. I allow him to feel what I feel, the hate, the sorrow, the anger, the aching loneliness and the hopelessness of my future. I show him that I am a slave to murder, that I am not worthy of his or the other’s recognition. I wish only for death, because it is far better than the alternative.

Astarion unlatches from my memories and I inevitably wait for the verbal lashing. I wait for his rejection. I wait for his blade to kiss my throat once again, all his restraint gone as it slices through my neck as he leaves me to die. I can barely look at him, I feel so ashamed. I am a false hero. Nothing I have tried to correct will ever make up for the lives I have ended.

While I continue to wallow in my self-loathing, Astarion places a gentle hand on my shoulder and forces me to turn towards him. My vision is blurry as tears threaten to spill from my eyes once again. I am not sure I am ready for this.

“You could have told me, you know,” he whispers gently. I look into his eyes and see none of the hatred or anger I expected, “We….We have walked very similar paths, you and I.” He searches for his words carefully, “I do not judge you, if that is what you are fearful of. Actually, I am somewhat relieved to know the truth, especially after coming upon you in the woods earlier,” he confesses, a small nervous laugh escapes his lips. “Regardless, if you are unhappy with your situation… I am sure we can rectify that once we enter the city. Gods know we all have our demons to overcome.” He looks off into the distance, clearly reminiscing over his own troubled past.

I look at him, taken aback by his kindness and understanding. "W-wait. Y-you aren't going to kill me?" His profile is sharp, but his features soften as a smile plays on his lips.

He throws his head back and laughs loudly, "Ha! Kill you? Why ever would you think that, my dear?"

I blush at his little nickname. We have certainly spoken to one another, flirted even. But that was the extent of our interactions. Friendly, if not a little stand-offish, and full of playful banter. Of course, I could never get too close to him, otherwise images danced in my mind of his pretty corpse. I shake the silly thoughts from my mind. I'm sure it was harmless.

"W-well… I'm a monster," I croak.

Astarion chuckles darkly, "A monster? Far from it. Dangerous? Potentially. Scandalous? Absolutely. But a monster?" He strokes his chin in thought, "We are similar, you and I. Never hoping to have full control over our bodies. Committing unspeakable acts of violence in someone else's name. It does not mean we are past the point of redemption."

I watch him contemplate silently, tracing the sharp features of his profile with my eyes. Taking in his beauty and the unguarded expression gracing his face. I’ve never fully had the opportunity to admire him in this way. Furthermore, his usual hardened facade has slipped from his demeanor and I feel like I am seeing his true self. I get the feeling most people do not see this side of him.

He blinks away whatever thoughts were swimming around in his mind and he turns to me, the glow from the fire outlining his face in a beautiful aura–he looks diabolically angelic in this moment.

I blush at my own thoughts. He has no idea how beautiful he is, but his perfection catches in my throat, rendering me speechless. I turn away, unsure of what to say.

“Thank you,” I finally breathe, “Most people look at me with disdain in their eyes. I think… I think I’ve come to expect it.”

He laughs breathily and scoots closer to me–his body mere inches from mine and making me flustered. He throws an arm around my shoulder and pulls me the rest of the way in. He leans in and whispers in my ear, “When I look at you… I do see the bloodlust,” I stiffen, dread filling my body once again–worried that I was doomed to be seen as a monster first and foremost by the ones I care about, “But,” he continues, “more than anything, I see someone who wants to do good… someone who wants to be redeemed. I see your heart, and it is a beautiful thing. I see the true you.” He grabs my chin lightly and forces me to look into his eyes. My breath hitches in my throat. “I see someone who wants–no, needs–to be known. He leans in and places a gentle kiss on the corner of my mouth before pulling away. “You deserve to feel loved. You deserve to be seen for who you truly are. I want to give you that. If… you’ll allow me.”

I look up at him with rounded eyes, completely taken off guard, “I-I didn’t think you liked me… like that.” I fidget with my fingers, suddenly feeling vulnerable and slightly embarrassed. I always had a crush on Astarion, but I pushed those feelings aside to protect him. He couldn’t be on the receiving end of my ritual dagger. I wouldn’t allow it.

“Y-you saw my memories. I’m destined to kill anyone I get close to. How… how could you be okay with that?” I shake my head and bury my face in my hands. “I’m cursed to be alone forever.”

He chuckles softly and his eyes soften, “I have the utmost confidence that it will never get to that point,” He cocks an eyebrow at me playfully, “But if it were to come to that, I’m sure some restraints could go a long way.”

The way he is looking at me now, his vermillion eyes bore into me reflecting a hint of danger–a hint of unrestrained lust. How could I say no to this beautiful man? “I crave more than anything to be touched…” I admit, finding it difficult to meet his gaze.

“Mmm,” his voice is gravelly and heavy with ecstasy, “Where, my love?”

I exhale in amazement, I clearly did not expect my night to end in such a manner. I blush uncontrollably, “Everywhere.”

A devilish grin forms across his face flashing his fangs, sharp as a knife, “Your wish is my command,” he whispers before pulling me on top of him. The blanket slips from my shoulders, and falls unused to the ground. I wrap my legs around his waist and snake my arms around his neck, playfully running my fingers through his perfect ivory curls.

He looks at me adoringly before leaning in and pressing his perfect lips to mine. I haven’t been kissed in what feels like years and I hungrily kiss back pressing my entire body into him. He greedily accepts my desperate tongue, and we explore each other’s mouth with all the passion that can be mustered. His fangs rake against my bottom lip and I moan into his mouth. I press my lips to him harder before he is pulling away and flashing me his gorgeous fangs. Astarion drags a thumb lightly across my bottom lip, eliciting a feral moan to escape my mouth.

His other hand traces down my spine, sending heat directly to my core. His tender traces along my body brings my senses to life–no, he sets them on fire–for I have never felt this good from just a few sensual touches. His hand comes to rest on my ass which he squeezes playfully. I yelp in response which only motivates him to continue.

Astarion begins to guide my hips, rocking them back and forth against his lap. I can feel his growing arousal beneath his pants which sends me into a lustful frenzy. I begin to rock my hips to the pace he has set for me, and I throw my head back when I feel my core grinding against his still growing arousal.

He leans in close and drags his nose up my throat, drinking in the scent of my blood, “That’s it, darling,” he whispers gruffly. I suddenly crave for him to bite me, to drink from me. I want to feel the pain, my essence slipping away as I continue to stimulate myself.

I can barely speak from the pleasure I am feeling, but I manage to whimper, “Take from me, Astarion.” I lean my head back further, offering him my throat for his pleasure. He chuckles darkly, his hot breath pounding against my skin, further lighting my senses on fire. I rock my hips harder, “Please.”

He doesn’t hesitate a moment longer. He sinks his fangs into my soft flesh, the pain like ice in my veins before my warm blood falls from the newly made twin puncture wounds. He sucks greedily, savoring the taste of my blood. I moan against him, taking pleasure in the way my body reacts against him. His hand slides from my throat down my sternum and comes to rest just above my throbbing sex.

I whimper uncontrollably, craving for him to go lower, “P-please,” I beg.

Astarion smiles against my throat and pulls away temporarily, “Your begging sounds so sweet,” he coos. He only makes me want to beg harder.

“I need you,” I cry.

A growl escapes his throat and he latches himself back to my throat and pulls more blood into his mouth, coating his tongue and throat. He has gone completely feral. He drags his fingers to my cunt and begins slowly circling my swollen clit.

I gasp loudly, unconcerned with waking up the others in camp. I haven’t been truly touched in so long that I forgot just how wonderful it feels. His fingers expertly circle my clit, igniting something deep in my core. Pleasure begins to build and I can feel myself ready to fall over the edge. I grind against his fingers, feeling needy begging to be filled.

He laughs against my neck and slides his fingers into my aching cunt. I cry out in pleasure, coming completely undone by his long slender fingers. I can barely handle how much he is already stretching me out and I buzz with excitement and anticipation when I think about what else he has in store for me.

His fingers penetrate me deeply, and his lips on my neck have me spiraling. He slides his fingers in and out of me quickly, using his thumb to stimulate my clit. He pulls away from my throat and looks at up at me through his pale lashes, “Does that feel good, darling?”

I nod my head rapidly, unable to form words as his fingers work their magic. My vision begins to blur and I pant uncontrollably. I can feel myself nearing the edge of no return and it is a delicious feeling.

Astarion smiles dangerously, licking the blood from his fangs, “Come for me, pet,” he pleads darkly.

His voice sends me over the edge, I come undone around him, my cunt tightening around his fingers and my hips bucking of their own volition. My orgasm rocks through me, my body spasms with pleasure and my toes curl to an ungodly degree. I let his name slip from my lips as I cry out in pleasure.

“There you go, darling,” he coos, talking me through my orgasm, “Just. Like. That.”

His thumb doesn’t let up from his ministrations until my orgasm has slowly faded and I come back down from my high. Not wasting any time I press my lips back to his, kissing him deeply and hungrily. I need to feel him inside me and I cannot wait much longer. I move to untie the laces of his pants and he stands, hoisting me into the air as I continue to straddle his waist.

Once I’ve successfully unlaced his pants, his throbbing member springs free. I grab the base of his shaft and begin pumping his large cock. He throws his head back and moans loudly. He places me on the soft sand and hovers over me as I continue to service him.

“I need to be inside you,” he breathes raggedly.

He lines himself at my entrance and rubs his throbbing head against my clit. I’m dripping with anticipation. He enters me slowly at first, and he grunts loudly.

“Fuck,” he whispers in my ear. He pushes himself all the way in, fighting against my tight dripping cunt.

He spreads me out wider than I have ever been before and I cry out with pleasure.

“Your pussy is so perfect,” he growls. He pushes further in until there is nothing left and I wrap my legs around him, not wanting him to pull back out.

He begins slowly pumping in and out of my aching pussy, and my arousal rings out like a symphony.

“Oh god, Astarion,” I whine. The way he fills me so completely as if my pussy was molded perfectly around his cock sends me into a feral frenzy.

“That’s right, darling,” he hisses, “Say my name like a fucking prayer.” He picks up the pace, punishing my pussy with his forceful thrusts.

“Astarion,” I cry again, letting his name fall from my lips in absolute reverence.

He snakes an arm around my back and lifts my hips up slightly which only serves to penetrate me deeper than I ever thought possible. He picks up his pace further, letting his cock slip in and out of me with ease.

I can feel myself on the verge of toppling over the edge once again, “I-I’m gonna… Oh Astarion,” I whimper, unable to fully form a sentence.

“Come for me, love,” he growls in my ear, “I want to feel you come for me.”

His words send me over the edge and I’m falling into another orgasm. I cry out loud, a mix of screams and moans fall from my lips as my orgasm rips through my body. My walls tighten around him and he hisses in response. I keep falling, holding on to my orgasm for as long as I can. My toes curl and I pull back on his ivory curls, eliciting a growl from the depths of his core.

“Gods below,” he growls as I tighten around his thick cock. His thrusts slow as my orgasm subsides. Before I can catch my breath he flips me over onto my hands and knees

I breathe heavily, panting uncontrollably, my body spasming in the aftermath of my release. Before I have time to think, he enters me once again, the new position filling me with unadulterated pleasure.

Astarion grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls me to his chest, arching my back to an ungodly degree. He clasps to my neck and pierces my throat once again with his sharp fangs. The pain lances through me and the pleasure I receive from the pain is worth it. He starts to drink my sweet blood once again while thrusting in and out of my pussy. I meet his thrusts with my hips, and the force ripples through my body–my ass bouncing gracefully against his hips.

I ride his cock until I can no longer see. My life’s essence slips from my body and the accompanying delirium empties my mind from all the worries from earlier. I cry against his punishing pace. He pulls away from my throat once again and growls in my ear, “You are invigorating, you know that?”

I nod helplessly, unable to focus on anything but the way he stretches me out and hits my sweet spot. I cry out, his sweet words egging me on.

“I think you deserve to come one more time,” he snarls in my ear, pulling on my hair just a bit harder until my back can arch no further. He continues to fuck up and into me, his thrusts becoming faster than anything I’ve ever experienced. I nod my head pathetically.

“Please,” I beg.

His powerful hips rail into me over and over again and I fall deeper and deeper into his rough embrace. His tongue drags up the back of my neck sending shivers down my spine. He sucks and kisses the back of my neck adding another layer of pleausre.

“Fall apart,” he growls deeply in my ear. It is the only thing I care to hear. I come undone around him all over again. His thrusts become sloppier, and he pounds into me quicker and quicker until he is falling with me.

“Yes,” I cry, “Come for me Astarion,” I whimper. He unloads himself inside me, his panting is the only thing I hear as I fall apart with him. Pleasure ripples through our bodies–our collective ecstasy is the only thing that matters at this moment.

He continues to pump into me until he has spilled all of his spent. My orgasm subsides and he falls on top of me, pinning me to the ground.

We breathe harder, waiting to come back down to Faerun. His body moves in time with mine and I savor the aftermath of my orgasm. I shall never come down from the heavens after that.

Once we have collected our strength, he pulls himself out of me and rolls over onto his back near the fire. I roll over onto my side and memorize his features as he looks up at the sky, a look of satisfaction paints his features.

He turns to me and smiles, his guard completely down and I have never seen anything quite so beautiful, “That was… amazing,” he breathes, licking some of the blood from the corner of his mouth with his tongue.

“I–” I can’t seem to gather the words I want to say, “Thank you,” I finally amend.

He rolls to his side and faces me, tracing small circles into my skin with his cool fingertips, “Thank you,” he whispers. And for a fleeting moment, I wonder what he is thanking me for. I smile in response, not wanting to ruin the moment with my questions.

He reaches forward and tucks some hair behind my ear, his knuckles grazing my cheekbone in the process.

“I–I want you to know,” he says softly, his hand never leaving the side of my face, “I’m glad you’re here. With me. I don’t think I want to be in a world without you,” he smiles softly, “Whatever that may look like.”

I smile shyly, “I’m glad I’m here too. Thank you… for everything.”

He wraps an arm around my midsection and pulls me to him until both his arms are wrapped around me securely. He places a gentle kiss on my temple. I turn my head and plant a soft kiss on his lips.

“Don’t let go until the morning,” I whisper. My smile is gone, but admiration still takes over my features. My savior. My hero. He saved my life in more ways than one. I’m excited to see where things take us. While the future is not set in stone, I have a feeling I’ll be able to get through anything with him by my side.

“I won’t,” he whispers before kissing me softly. “Promise me,” he begins, “Promise me that you will find me the next time you feel like death is your only option.”

“I swear,” I whisper. “Promise me you will open up to me as well… Whenever you’re ready.” I can tell that something weighs heavy on his soul, and I never want him to feel the depth of loneliness I felt.

He chuckles, “I save you…and you save me.” The statement is a promise. I smile knowing that this is the start of a beautiful relationship. I let him squeeze me in his strong embrace until we both drift off to sleep, relieved to have distracted ourselves from the painful reality that awaits us on the morrow.

#astarion #bg3 #Durge fanfic #astarion fanfic #astarion x tav #astarion x dark urge #astarion x female reader #astarion x f!tav #astarion x f!reader #astarion x female tav #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fanfic #durge x astarion #f!reader x astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #baldur's gate iii

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roxygen22 · 15 days

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Still Here (Chapter 10)

Summary: Picks up after your steamy confession that you love Timothée in return.

C/W: NSFW-ish beginning (minors DNI); parent with terminal illness

Catch up on previous chapters here.

Timothée trembled on top of you, barely able to support his weight on his elbows as he came down from the high of his climax.

"You do?" he asked, his tone revealing an air of disbelief.

"Yes. I've known with certainty since the day we went to the lake. I thought I had pushed those feelings aside a long time ago, but obviously the embers never died. I've just been too scared to say it, like that would somehow save me from heartbreak if you change your mind."

He rolled to your side and propped his head up on his hand so he could still look at you. "I haven't changed my mind in 12 years, [Y/N]." He traced your jawline lightly with his fingertips. "Believe me, I have tried many times over the years to convince myself otherwise. You're stuck with me."

"Promise?"

Timothée nodded, nuzzling his nose against your ear. "Can I hear you say it again?" he whispered.

"I love you, Timmy."

His lips crashed down onto yours in response. His free hand landed on your hip, his fingers making indentations in your flesh as he pulled your body to press up against his. This ebb and flow of passion continued throughout the night. When the two of you were finally spent, Timothée clung to you in his sleep as if he were afraid you would disappear.

You stirred when a ray of light from the window hit your face. Waking up next to Timothée after a night of lovemaking was something you had yet to experience. As teens, you were never afforded the opportunity. You took advantage of the chance to take in the features of his peaceful face. In many ways he looked just like he did all of those years ago. The same recognizable jawline, sharp nose, and mop of dark curly hair. But there were subtle differences that you found yourself falling in love with. Laugh lines. Crow's feet. A tiny scar next to his nose. You wondered what story was behind that and made a mental note to ask him later. You found yourself hoping that you would get to stare at this face for the rest of your life.

Your thoughts were interrupted as Timothée began to stir. His eyelids fluttered open, and he smiled as his eyes focused on you.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said, his voice still thick and gravelly with sleep. He pulled you in for a quick kiss.

"Morning." You smiled and sighed.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You gently shrugged. "I wish I could give you back all the years I wasted."

"Everything happens for a reason, love. The past is the past. What we can do, though, is have fun making up for lost time." He gave you a suggestive look and squeezed your thigh. He acted like he was about to lean in for another kiss, but stopped just short of your lips. "But first, breakfast."

You took in the view as Timothée threw off the blanket and walked naked to the kitchen. You wouldn't mind seeing that for the rest of your life, either.

<><><><><>

After enjoying breakfast in bed, the two of you got dressed and Timothée drove you back to your parents' house. Needing to get back to check on his dad and work in his shop, he dropped you off in front of the house.

Before you got out, he asked, "Hey, why don't you and Madison come over for dinner this evening? Dad would love to see you again and meet Madison. And it would mean a lot to me."

You paused to think through your calendar. "Sure, we can do that. Text me later about the time and what I can bring." You kissed him on the cheek and hopped out of the truck.

Madison was sitting on the couch in the living room when you walked inside. She crossed her arms and glared at you. "Where have you been?"

You found the juxtaposed roles amusing, but tried your best not to show it. "We watched a movie at Timothée's house and fell asleep." Not exactly a lie, but she didn't need the full truth, either. Madison narrowed her eyes at you, but she was satisfied enough with the answer to return to her book.

Your mother watched the entire exchange and covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. You walked past her to the kitchen with a knowing smile on your face. She followed you and asked, "Sooooo, how was your night?"

"Well, like I said, we watched a movie at his place and fell asleep." You laughed nervously and blushed.

"Mm-hmm. I wasn't born yesterday, child."

"It was....good. Really, really good."

She smiled. "Good. You needed to get some."

You scoffed. "Mom!"

"What?! Like I said, I wasn't born yesterday. I called it as soon as he said y'all were going to his place instead of out for dinner." She grinned.

"ANYWAY. Timothée invited Madison and me over to his dad's house for dinner tonight," you interjected, trying to change the subject.

"Must be getting pretty serious if he's bringing y'all home to meet the family," she quipped.

"It's not like I've never met Mr. Chalamet before," you replied insolently.

"Perhaps. But Madison hasn't."

You opened your mouth to rebut, but quickly shut your jaw with a click. She was right, though the realization did not come as a shock. "You're stuck with me" resonated in your head. Timothée was all in at this point. You ducked your head and smiled.

<><><><><>

You returned to the Chalamet's property later that evening with a bottle of wine in hand and daughter close behind you. Timothée met you at your car to give you a chaste kiss and Madison a hug. "Come on inside," he said as he guided the two of you up to the porch.

Mr. Chalamet was waiting at the front door with open arms. "[Y/N]! So good to see you again," he exclaimed as he closed the hug. "And who is this?" He looked at the girl who had half-hidden herself behind Timothée's leg.

You stepped back from the hug and waved her over. "Madison, come meet Mr. Chalamet." You heard him gasp slightly as your daughter revealed herself.

"She looks just like you did as a girl."

"That's exactly what I said the first time I saw her, too," Timothée agreed, setting a hand on Madison's shoulder in reassurance.

She looked up at you in disbelief. "Is there anyone in this town who didn't know you as a kid?" All of you laughed.

Unable to stand for long, Mr. Chalamet returned to his armchair in the living room. You accompanied him and caught him up on the highlights of your time in California while Timothée stepped away to put the finishing touches on dinner. Once Madison helped him set the table and bring out the food, the four of you took your places. Soon you were all reminiscing and laughing at the stories Mr. Chalamet told of Timothée as a boy. You could tell, though, that he was getting tired by the time dessert was served. You and Madison cleared the table while Timothée helped him back to his armchair, then joined them in the living room.

You knelt down in front of him and held his hand. "This has been lovely, Mr. Chalamet. Thank you for having us over."

"Oh, sweet girl. I'm so glad you are back." He nodded past you at Madison, who now stood by Timothée. "You've done a good job with her, my dear. Timothée talks about her all the time."

"Oh, she makes it easy." He gave you a soft smile.

"Will we be seeing more of the two of you, [Y/N]?

You looked at Timothée and smiled before looking back at his dad. "I hope so." You sandwiched Mr. Chalamet's hand between yours and squeezed before standing to leave. Madison shyly waved at him and followed you out the door. Timothée walked the two of you to your car and opened the door for Madison. Before he opened yours, he leaned down to give you a kiss.

"Thank you for this," he said quietly.

"He...seemed to be in good spirits."

"Today was a good day. Those seem to be happening less frequently. He rallied because he wanted to see you two."

You reached up and cupped his cheek. "I see now why you said this would mean a lot to you. I didn't realize he was so..." You were at a loss for words.

"Sick? Yeah. I know it may have seemed a bit premature for this, but I wanted to have, uh..." He looked up at the sky and cleared his throat to will the tears away.

"A family dinner?" you guessed.

Timothée looked down at you and nodded. "I know this is fast and you wanted to take things slowly, but there may not be time and I didn't want to lose the chance to be surrounded by the most important people in my life, those still with us at least. I can't explain just how badly I wanted my dad to meet Madison, especially. I know she's not mine, but I...I love her so much already."

"I know." You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him to you. He rested his head in the crook of your neck and cried.

<><><><><>

Chapter 11

Masterlist

Tag List: @croatianprincess, @bluizh, @jindongdongie, @groovyqueer

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scrollsaplenty · 9 months

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Developing Feelings in the Underdark

Here's another little one-shot of my OC - Mara - and Astarion's developing relationship.

No trigger warnings.

Enjoy!

_______

Mara smiled and playfully nudged the pale elf, “Come on. Let’s get back to camp before the others wake up and come looking for us. If you behave yourself, I may even allow you to drink from me.”

“Excuse me,” Astarion scoffed as he rose to his feet and extended a hand to Mara, “I am always a perfect gentleman. Come on let’s go. I need to feed and I don’t want an audience.”

The Underdark was freezing.

Even wrapped in a thick wool cloak and sitting beside the fire, Mara could not drive the numbing cold from her body. Desperately, Mara rubbed her hands together and blew against her frozen fingertips as a chill ran down her spine. Mara missed the comfort and familiarity of their old camp. The gentle sound of the river crashing against the sandy shores, the warm spring breeze that tousled her hair at night, and staring into the stars to fall asleep.

Of course, the Underdark was beautiful in its own right. But it was a dark dangerous beauty. Everything was a beautiful threat; from the bright pastel bioluminescent mushrooms to the natives. It was hard to relax in a place that would devour you the moment you let your guard down.

But the worst part was the chill that ran through the Underdark. It was worse at night when the party attempted to relax.

“Shitty excuse for a sorcerer,” Mara muttered as she conjured a small fireball and held it in her hands, “Can’t even think of a single warming spell.”

The small fireball radiated enough heat to thaw Mara’s frozen fingers. She let out a satisfied sigh and smiled. Mara tilted her head back resting against the thick mushroom stem she was sitting against. The stem was rubbery and covered with a thin layer of lilac velvet fibers that felt similar to the tapestries lining the walls of her bedroom in the Upper City.

The rest of the party slept a few feet away from Mara. Shadowheart dragged her bedroll closer to Karlach to absorb some of the Tiefling’s heat. Shadowheart wrapped herself in a heavy blanket and didn’t bother to change out of her armor for the added warmth. Karlach’s infernal engine glowed a dull red and raided enough heat to keep her comfortable. Karlach slept in her camp clothes on top of her bedroll, blissfully ignorant of the bone-chilling cold the rest fo the party experienced. Mara imagined the cold air felt amazing for Karlach.

Her eyes fluttered to Astarion’s empty bedroll. After Karlach and Shadowheart were fast asleep, Astarion said he was going hunting and left. That was a little over two hours ago and though she would never admit it, Mara was growing worried. Mara knew Astarion was more than capable of taking care of himself, but this was the Underdark.

Memories of the Gur monster hunter tugged on Mara’s mind. She nervously chewed on her lower lip as the memory replayed in her mind. Cazador’s influence extended to a putrid bog in the middle of nowhere. If that monster could send one lone monster hunter after Astarion, what would stop Cazador from sending more?

Panic began bubbling in Mara’s stomach as her imagination ran wild. Mara dismissed the fireball and scrambled to her feet. She grabbed her daggers and quietly crept out of camp in the direction Astarion disappeared hours ago.

Mara found a pair of light footprints in the mud and followed the trail to the water's edge. After a few moments of searching, Mara found Astarion perched on a rock overlooking the dark purple waters of the underground lake. Astarion seemed to be lost in thought as he twirled one of his twin daggers in his hand.

But he appeared to be unharmed.

Mara let out a sigh of relief. Mara’s shoulders dropped and her heart stopped beating against her chest as she quietly approached the rock.

“You should be back at camp keeping watch,” Astarion sneered as Mara sat beside him.

“You were taking too long,” Mara muttered as she pulled her knees to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees.

A comfortable silence fell between the pair as they watched dull lights flicker off the lake’s quiet surface. The Arcane Tower loomed over the lake in the far distance as did the skeleton of the long-forgotten village. Fire beetles flew along the water’s surface before landing on massive branches of Barrelstalk protruding from the water. The distant hum of the Circle’s song echoed in the peaceful darkness. It was beautiful.

In moments of silence like this, Mara was reminded of how deeply she used to long for freedom like this. Just weeks earlier, Mara was trapped in her father’s manor, watched like a prisoner by his guards and the Guild, and she was desperate for freedom. All she had for company were books and Kethan.

Now she was free. Parasite aside, this was the happiest point in her life. Mara was certain she could die this very moment a happy woman because she experienced more life in the past few weeks than she ever had in twenty-five years. Mara had friends, she took a lover, she broke free of one of her shackles, and embraced the magic she spent years fearing.

Living - truly living - was intoxicating and Mara wanted more.

Mara wanted to walk the same streets in Neverwinter that her mother once walked. She wanted to feel passion, she wanted to command the magic inside her to reign fire upon their enemies, she wanted to dance carefree with her friends once more, and she wanted to fall in love.

Mara could be satisfied with the sliver of life she experience these past few weeks, but she desperately wanted more.

Astarion noticed Mara far off in thought. A small crease formed between her dark brows as her golden-speckled blue eyes gazed across the water's surface. He also noticed Mara shivering.

“Go back to camp and sit by the fire. I can hear your teeth chattering,” Astarion flicked a small pebble into the water.

Mara shook her head and pulled her cloak tighter around herself, “The others are fine. I just want to sit here for a moment and think.”

Once again silence fell between the pair. Astarion watched Mara out of the corner of his eye. Mara was losing hold of the woman she once was; the scared noble who was terrified by her own magic was slipping away. Astarion could see the confidence building inside Mara, and a part of him envied the young-half elf.

She was breaking free from her chains, and as happy as Astarion was it terrified him. A more confident Mara meant she may not turn to him as much, wouldn’t confide in him as much, and he would lose his sway over him.

It meant Mara may not need him.

The building feelings Astarion still refused to acknowledge bubbled in the pit of his stomach. He hated himself for being worried that Mara would abandon him. Astarion replayed how fiercely she defended him to the others after he bit her in his mind.

Astarion couldn’t let her abandon him - he needed Mara.

“Perhaps I was too quick to turn away your company,” Astarion smoothed his voice and silently stepped into his familiar seductive character. He turned towards Mara and frowns at her shivering. He shrugs off his cloak and drapes it over Mara’s small frame.

“There,” he says as he engulfs her smaller form in the cloak, “I can’t have my favorite little sorceress freezing, can I?”

A soft gentle smile appeared on Mara’s face, “Won’t you be cold without your cloak?”

Astarion shook his head as he moved to sit closer beside Mara, “No, the cold doesn’t affect me the way it affects others. You see, it’s one of the many benefits of my,” he paused for a moment to consider his choice of words, “condition.”

Mara’s smile slipped from her face as her fingers gripped the heavy cloak tighter. She nervously chewed her lower lip before mustering to the courage to speak, “Thank you, Astarion.”

Astarion loathed how he melted at the sound of his name on Mara’s lips. He despised himself for the dull ache in the pit of his stomach. The selfish part of him hated that Mara dug her way into his thoughts, into his feelings.

“Consider it payment for the times you allowed me to dine on that delicious neck of yours,” Astarion replied as he flashed her a seductive smile.

“You owe me nothing for that,” Mara’s voice was soft and sciencere, “You needed it, so I helped you.”

Astarion hated how helpful Mara insisted on being. Whether it was a thieving child or a captured gnome, Mara extended her kindness to whoever needed it. She did it without expecting anything in return. She did it all while fearing they would think her a monster if they saw the magic inside her.

“Stop being so nice. The hasn’t been kind to you. Why do you insist on showing everyone kindness when you receive little in return?” Astarion grumbled as a gentle breeze rushed through the pair. The wind carried her scent and it was like a drug for Astarion.

Mara sat silently for a moment pondering his question. She hated how right Astarion was; the world offered Mara very little in terms of kindness. She never knew the love of a parent, was lied to and manipulated her whole life, and kept as a prisoner in her own home. The first time she successfully breaks free of Ilidan’s clutches sent her right into the waiting arms of Mind Flayers, and now she was on a hunt to remove a parasite that would surly kill her. Mara had no rease to show the world any kindness, yet it was the obvious choice at every turn.

Mara was determined not to posin herself against the world and show the world every ounce of kindness it denied her.

“You’re right, I have no reason to show strangers the kindness I do. But it makes me happy,” Mara twirled her mothers ring around her finger, “I can’t become the monster my father made me believe I was. If I let my anger and resentment consumer me, then he wins.”

Astarion heard the determination in her voice and chose not to push Mara on the subject. Instead, he filled his mind with images of the gloriously evil ways he would destroy Ilidan the moment he set eyes on the elf.

“Well then,” Astarion sighed as he leaned back, “Then I guess I’ll have to stick around to keep the world from devouring you. I can’t have my favorite midnight snack being taken advantage of.”

“Excuse me,” Astarion scoffed as he rose to his feet and extended a hand to Mara, “I am always a perfect gentleman. Come on let’s go. I need to feed and I don’t want an audience.”

Mara allowed Astarion to pull her to her feet and the pair began walking back to camp.

Both attempted to ignore their building feelings for each other.

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