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actual-changeling · 1 year

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if you do not follow/haven't seen my recent posts, i really recommend you read this one and this one before continuing, just to make it hit the right way.

also reminder that i have an ao3 right here (and it's not all pain, promise!)

sorry in advance :)

the more time passes, the easier it is for joel to talk about sarah. it still hurts, always will, an old bullet buried in his heart surrounded by scar tissue, but except for a few memories, words don't make him bleed anymore. tommy tentatively starts bringing her up once he notices that joel no longer flinches when he mentions her name, and it feels good to breathe life into their shared experiences, his brother the only one who comes close to understanding his pain but also the joy that colored their years.

ellie asks, too, just as hesitantly as tommy at first, but soon her curiosity takes over and not a day passes by without a question in-between sentences about his past. joel answers all of them, stories spilling from his lips and spinning themselves into a sarah-shaped web that he can share with her.

"she played soccer, right? when did she win her first competition?"

there's a few sports teams in jackson, and of course the soccer one caught her eye, making joel dread all the twisted ankles and bruised shins he was going to have to tend to. getting grass stains out of sarah's uniforms had always been a task and a half, and eventually they both stopped caring about it and just watched them pile up, turning white fabric a greenish-brown.

joel opens his mouth, the coffee cup in his hand hovering above the kitchen table, and then he stills, every muscle in his body turning to ice.

ellie's joel? is drowned out by the ringing in his hears, knuckles turning white and gripping the porcelain so tightly he can feel it crack in his palm, and he must have stopped breathing because his vision is growing fuzzy, black dots scurrying in his periphery.

joel lets the cup fall more than he sets it down, stomach turning, bile rising in his throat, because ellie asked him a question about sarah, his sarah, and he doesn't remember the answer.

it can't be, right? just a small gap in his memory, nothing big, it'll come back to him in an hour and he'll tell ellie about it later. but the panic squeezing his chest is real, terror slithering up his neck and curling around his ear whispering what else did you forget?

more than ever before, he tries to think back to all of it, from the first time he held her in his arms to the moment he buried her, and something odd happens to him when he finds that so much of it is. blurry. frayed at the edges, burned holes and white blotches obscuring important and unimportant details alike, memory an old role of film decomposing in the back of his mind.

the color of her baby blanket (blue, it had to be blue, he can't see), the first movie he watched with her, her favorite book in primary school, the way he did her hair on the first day of kindergarten, the friendship bracelets they made together, the posters on her wall, the dress she wore to her first dance (purple right? right?), memories surfacing as his panic cracks him open like an earthquake, and joel tries to cling to them, nails scratching at the parts that should be there but aren't until he tastes blood, desperation growing and growing because he is forgetting her.

"joel you're scaring the fuck out of me right now what's wrong?"

ellie's voice is distant, and he hates worrying her, hates the almost hysteric edge beneath it when she repeats herself, hands squeezing his shoulders, softly, first, then harder when he doesn't respond. all of the years that he didn't even know she existed, memories she has that he never will, all the firsts and buts and what ifs and failures that define a childhood, their innocent light fractured into vivid fantasies by the stained glass window of life. he has had all that and more with sarah, clung to it in the after to remind himself that she is real, that he is still a father even with his daughter buried by a nameless river.

it is all he has left of her, the childhood she never got to outgrow, and it's fading in a mind that has mourned her for longer than she got exist.

not for the first time, joel wishes he hadn't flinched, his brain worthless if it allowed sarah to fade away. without ellie bound to his heart, he would have tempted fate again for that alone.

"who hurt you" too many people to count and luckily tumblr lets me make it everyones problem

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the-firebird69 · 2 years

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And furthermore do not do what we say don't do we're going to come and pick you up for new brain in your dumbass morlock there yapping now you said turn off your monitor stop yapping don't give him hell all the time and you just sit there doing it I'm going to make sure you feel the pain you can obnoxious to us for a long time it's time to get the hell out of here too you're going to cause your jackass for the most part you insist on not ever paying him any money even his money from you and make you pay anyways cuz we want his money it's historical and we don't want to threat on us it's so damn sick of hearing from you and nobody's ever done this canister out and I'll hear a wild about money and you won't pull it out of westboro or try your so stupid. He had fun with some of you then you turned on him almost immediately pushing why you're having fun and you just sit there looking at you why even here if you don't understand any party on then they come back and say what did you mean this is your back here bothering me I can go home if you want to do something different so come back later and then be mad by that time I said you told me to go home and I would not listen you're going to go somewhere else now I'm usually someone beat him up for him sometimes he didn't and he had to one time you get feeling beaten up in a party I know something these are the people who he had to stop and all sudden we tried to stop it and couldn't is it okay you got hit a little and this little s*** Brad starts on the switch to do and ruined all of you forever. When do the campground in a chuckled cuz I told him this and he said you can't tell him what to do you start doing it again non-stop they said rooting a little piece of s*** it is in the Midwest he lost a ton of stuff and it ruins the realm he was the one it's hiding it too probably cuz he doesn't get any respect as it is but yeah Trump is influencing it and he's a moron Brad wouldn't visit him a lot and it came out really clear. He sent tons of warlock by, huge numbers of them eventually just kept extracting it from him what day is it when is this going to stop so you don't tell me what to do especially when it's wrong so you went and hit the s*** out of that guy and now they're hitting it cuz he likes to play as a girl he likes to put his head on girls bodies they're going to take them down and we're going to sue him for everything is worth cuz yeah I did the surgery so he's starting our son also does the stuff for the museum and it's a prick I'm going to start swinging now for real I'm putting many lawsuits together against him and bja. How suing for his stuff back too. You have no right to take his special effects you have no right to take his money what you're doing is treason and you're using it for extortion and it's not confusing. They're an outside entity and you are too BjA and you're in your office illegally, you're most often an enemy combatant we have proof and we're going to produce it to the government than others and get you out of there you're always going after an attacking Max now you mentioned it we're going to sue that you people are removed from your offices we don't want you in there anymore you're ridiculous you don't do anything except try and mess it up

I've got the green light on several cases and put them forward now Terry cheeseman's as a roller as janet yelling and DJ and his role as Mr William burns. Now you're too stupid people and sitting there trying to miss the words it shows you're guilty it's just that you're simple and understand you tell people what you're doing cuz you're simple you're stupid okay we're going to make you talk and get you out of those offices so two key spots you don't need to be in and the government's office in California and other governor's offices and Senate and Congress seats and we're going to put those up immediately

Bitol and Goddess Wife

It's about time we take a stand on this and we are I'm going to back up our father and mother vital and got a wife with all sorts of stuff tons of it too

Thor Freya

We need this moment to reflect no we don't we can start attacking you more like I've got to tackle worked up I'm going to make sure that you feel the pain we can't stand your faces and you're talking and your asinine behavior at all

Zig Zag

We're beginning our attack now I was striking you where it hurts because you keep on bothering us as much as possible and your idiots and you're asking for it I'm going to make sure that you never get up again we have a lot of work to do and it's very picky and dangerous and we want you out of the way need you out of the way I don't want to push you out of the way

Nuada Arrianna

I'm putting the order out now we're taking territory and factories there's tons of it we need they just sitting there looking ass and mines too there's a whole bunch of mines that we can take huge ones I just sitting there with them and you won't let anyone use them so they're going to come in there and take them as a black hole I didn't use the mind stuff right now this is boy that's an outstanding idea right there one in salt peter and threat to blow it and we don't send humans in and if you're there you're going to blow up. I'm usually the orders now especially for the mines it's great for you you'll die rapidly. You say you're taking off the east coast it's not true zherg have been wailing on it and you're still doing it. We see a couple of your ships up there space Marines they have a bunch of them the more locks do and you're preparing to try and attack the zherg. You say all sorts of blasphemous things and you're moving into position to strike and the max don't want you to and we could care less but we're going to take your crappy ships and will be ours. We're also going to intubate the two Gamera and Godzilla, now too.

Thor Freya

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holdmyowos · 3 years

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Todoroki Family Reunion

A story about Dabi before he revealed himself to Endeavor.

There are two bad words so keep that in mind. Mild violence and action.

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It was nearly Christmas. Fresh snow littered the ground around the houses, with little flakes of snow flittering downwards to join it's brethren on the earth.

Dabi stood outside the Todoroki household. Or, at least, where he thought the Todoroki's lived. He hadn't kept track of the family very well. Why should he? He hadn't thought he'd ever be paying them a visit, that's for sure. Not that he cared much about them. He had heard that Enji hardly ever was home, even during Christmas. That would make this reunion a lot easier.

"Come on Dabi! Hurry up. You promised me you would do this," Toga whined. Dabi rolled his eyes. "Uh, yea, with a knife at my throat... seriously Toga, sometimes you are a bit more than crazy. Besides, my social life is none of your business. How did you drag me here again?" The blond just gave him a wide smile. "You need to talk with them. It isn't their fault for what your dad did." Dad. The word sent chills down Dabi's spine. "My fath-..." He couldn't even bring himself to say that word. "Endeavor is no family to me. We both made that painfully clear the night I left that godforsaken house." He was lost in thought, of another time and another place. "Snap out of it or else I'll knock on the door myself." Toga backed into the shadows in front of the home, hiding herself from view.

He exhaled, his breath forming icy crystals in the air. It reminded him of his mom, and her ice quirk. In the freezing cold, he softly knocked on the door. A few seconds passed. Dabi turned around, starting to leave. "Oh well. Looks like they aren't here. Too bad guess we-" "Nuh-unh! Knock harder!" Toga shoved him back to the door. He sighed, and knocked harder. Another few seconds ticked by. Dabi shuffled his feet in the snow. He started feeling some anxiety. What if this was the wrong house? He didn't exactly have the best reputation. What if a hero lived here and saw him, the infamous Dabi from the League of Villains? Or worse, if Enji really was there?

The door opened and revealed a boy. He was a tall, teenage boy, with his hair split down the middle, two different colors. He had a burn down around one of his eyes. "Anything I can help you wi-?" The boy stared down at Dabi, noticing his burnt skin and tattered clothes. "It's a choice, kid," Dabi said, acknowledging his gaze. "Anyway, wrong address." Dabi turned around to leave, and Toga sighed from the shadows. A male voice behind the boy called out. "Who was that at the door?" Dabi kept walking away. "No one. Wrong address." The teen started closing the door. "Shoto? Natsuo? What's going on?" Dabi stopped in his tracks. That was his sister's voice, and his brother's name. He turned around, and knocked on the door again. Shoto, was that his name? He being there had thrown Dabi off, and he was surprised that even hero students got Christmas break. They had a few run ins with each other, but it was obvious that Shoto had not recognized him. Also, Dabi had never connected the strong U.A. student with his little brother, Enji's 'chosen child'. The more he thought about it, the more sense it had made. If he was a U.A. student, did that mean Shoto was trying to follow in Enji's footsteps? Dabi took a step away from the door. This family had him feeling all kinds of conflicted emotions. He decided he was going to leave when the door swung open.

Fuyumi come out of the door this time. "Let me guess, still wrong address?" She joked. "Still trying to decide," Dabi responded truthfully. Toga gave Dabi a thumbs up. "You seem familiar. Were we classmates or something?" Fuyumi questioned, tilting her head. "Something like that," Dabi replied, shivering. The young woman gasped. Dabi was sure she had figured out who he was, but he was wrong. "Where are my manners making you stand out there in the cold? Come on in." She stood aside for him to pass, motioning her hands for him to go inside. Reluctantly, he passed the threshold. Natsuo entered the room. "Excuse me, I have to borrow my sister here." He gave an apologetic smile towards Dabi, walking ushering her out of the room. As she was going, she called, "Please sit down, when I get back I'll have some tea for you!"

Dabi looked around. What a big, fancy, rich house. He couldn't believe he used to live somewhere like this. The two in the other room started talking. Dabi overheard their 'private' conversation. "Fuyumi, what are you doing? You can't just go letting homeless people into our house! He'll steal stuff, and then he won't leave!" Dabi snickered. He didn't look that bad, did he? "I think he's a friend from elementary school," she replied. "Look, guys like him spell trouble for people like us. I know it's near Christmas, but really?" He stomped away angrily.

Dabi bent down and looked at a photo on an ornate dresser. It was the whole Todoroki family, all smiling. Enji, Mom, Fuyumi, Natsuo, Shoto, and Toya Todoroki. That was from a long time ago. Dabi pointed to Toya. His hair color was different back then. How things had changed. Why did he care? That whole photo was staged. Enji would have never allowed Shoto near the rest of the family.

Fuyumi entered the room with a tray of tea, looking slightly more wary of Dabi than before. "That's our older brother, Toya," she said, sadness filling her voice. "What happened to him?" Dabi had to ask. "One day he just... left. He was tired of... of the way our father treated us." She lowered her volume. "I think my father and him may have fought and, well, honestly Natsuo thinks... he thinks father may have burned him to death. And to be honest, I wouldn't put it past him. I mean if you were my childhood friend, I'm sure you already knew that. Anyway, such a bad thing to talk about with my guest! What brings you here?" "Umm..." Dabi struggled for a reason. "Just wondering..." Shoto walked in the room. Dabi's heart started pounding. Shoto looked at Dabi as if observing him, from head to toe. Hopefully, he won't recognize me, Dabi thought. "What ever happened to Mom?" Shoto tilted his head. "Who's mom?" He inquired. "O-oh your mom. That's her in the picture, right?" Dabi regretted coming here. They would find out who he was, and who he'd become, and hate him. Damn Toga!

"What did you say your name was again?" Shoto asked , catching on. "Actually, I never said." Dabi snapped back, standing up and spilling the tea Fuyumi had brought. "And I think I will be going now." The tension in the room was high. "Wait. I think I do know you." Shoto grabbed Dabi's arm in a quick action, knocking over the family picture, scattering glass all over the carpet. "Natsuo! He's with the villains! Help!" He shouted. Crap. He started trying to freeze Dabi in place, but Dabi jumped away from Shoto just in time. "What's got in on? Shoto why are you attacking him? He hasn't done anything wrong! Quit it he's my guest!" Fuyumi grabbed her brother Shoto, hugging him tight so he couldn't use his powers without accidentally getting her too. He apparently didn't have to hurt her, and used his ice powers anyway, shooting ice from his fingertips, freezing Dabi's leg. Natsuo showed up. There were too many people here. In a panic, Dabi shouted, "Toga!" And shot flames from his fingertips, melting the ice. Suddenly, the world was still. Everyone was silent. Except for Shoto, who was struggling against Fuyumi. She must have been really strong to keep that boy at bay. "What's wrong with you? He's a villain! He's Dabi, and he work with Toga, and Tomura Shigaraki, and the rest of the League of Villains! Don't just stand there Natsuo, help me!" He shouted. Instead, Natsuo helped Fuyumi restrain Shoto. Dabi backed away, towards the door. Blue flames still danced on his fingertips. "Back off, Shoto. Don't you know who that is? Look at his quirk for heaven's sake! His burns!"

Shoto's eyes widened in understanding, and he stopped wrestling with his siblings. Fuyumi reached out to Dabi and held his burnt arm. "T-Toya? I-is- could it possibly truly be you? What happened?" Dabi shrugged her hand off. "Enji made me like this. You thought he killed me? Well, he only killed the good half. The proof is written in my skin." Dabi opened the door, fire blazing around him, little bursts of blue anger and sadness, and slammed the door shut. "Come on Toga, let's get out of here." Dabi took off down the alleyway, happy for the snow, the small flakes cooling himself off. When Dabi was a safe distance from the house, he waited for Toga to catch up. "So, maybe not the best family reunion, but you tried, right?" Dabi walked by her side silently. Yea, I tried.

#Bnha #fanfic #dabi #toya #toga #todoroki #mha

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fisabilillah-inthewayofallah · 4 years

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Dividing line between hypocrisy and courtesy

Question

1. I would like to know the dividing line between hypocrisy and courtesy, because in many cases I feel that there is some two-facedness in people’s behaviour and dealings, based on their interests and whims and desires, and it is said that it is just courtesy. Is this true? 2. Is it possible for true friendship to be mixed with a little hypocrisy? I have a friend who does not love me as I thought she did. She held a special place in my heart that was shared by no one else, but recently I found out that my status with her is zero, and her behaviour with me for many years was superficial. I thought, and everyone was certain about that, that our friendship was strong, and until now I do not know how to end this friendship after finding out what is really going on. 3. Can the way this friend behaved be regarded as hypocrisy? 4. What is the punishment for hypocrisy in friendship?

Answer

Praise be to Allaah.

Some people often confuse the meanings of hypocrisy, politeness and flattery, and the reason for that is the failure to understand the true meanings of brotherhood and sincere friendship. In their minds they do not separate truth and falsehood, good conduct and bad.

Firstly:

The word hypocrisy usually indicates pure evil. Hypocrisy is never something praiseworthy in any way whatsoever. The psychologists have defined it as showing a good face in order to achieve something bad and harmful.

So the hypocrite is never seeking something good, rather he is seeking to harm people and betray them and bring evil to them, and he achieves that by showing a good face and appearing to be loving and friendly.

Allaah says, warning against keeping company with hypocrites (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! Take not as (your) Bitaanah (advisors, consultants, protectors, helpers, friends) those outside your religion (pagans, Jews, Christians, and hypocrites) since they will not fail to do their best to corrupt you. They desire to harm you severely. Hatred has already appeared from their mouths, but what their breasts conceal is far worse. Indeed We have made plain to you the Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses) if you understand.

119. Lo! You are the ones who love them but they love you not, and you believe in all the Scriptures [i.e. you believe in the Tawraat (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel), while they disbelieve in your Book, the Qur’aan]. And when they meet you, they say, ‘We believe.’ But when they are alone, they bite the tips of their fingers at you in rage. Say: ‘Perish in your rage. Certainly, Allaah knows what is in the breasts (all the secrets)’”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:118-119]

The same applies to everyone who presents a friendly face to people and appears loving, when in fact he is seeking to harm them and do something bad to them.

Secondly:

As for the one who is polite, he does not wish ill to anyone and he is not trying to harm anyone either outwardly or inwardly, but he may show a friendly, cheerful and kind face in order to soften the heart of one who has a bad attitude, or so as to ward off his harm from himself or others, but without agreeing with him in his falsehood or supporting him in any way, either by words or actions.

Ibn Muflih al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

It was said to Ibn ‘Aqeel in al-Funoon: I hear the command of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): “Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allaah orders the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly) then verily he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend” [Fussilat 41:34], but I hear people regard those who show something other than what they feel as hypocrites. How can I obey Allaah and rid myself of hypocrisy?

Ibn ‘Aqeel said: Hypocrisy means showing a good face whilst concealing bad intentions, and harbouring ill will whilst appearing good in order to cause harm. What the verse refers to is showing a good attitude in response to a bad one for the purpose of changing it to a good one.

From this it may be understood that hypocrisy means concealing ill will whilst making a show of goodwill in order to cause harm and evil. The one who shows a good attitude in response to bad treatment in order to remove evil is not a hypocrite, rather he is trying to put things right. Have you not heard the words of Allaah “then verily he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend”? This is done in order to soften hearts, ward off enmity, extinguish the flames of hatred, create love and correct beliefs. This is how one makes friends and wins hearts.

Al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah (1/50, 51).

Hence politeness is part of a good attitude, and the scholars said a great deal about it.

Ibn Battaal (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Politeness is part of the attitude of the believers, and it is lowering the wing of humility to people, speaking gently, and not speaking harshly to them, which are among the best means of creating harmony.

Fath al-Baari (10/528).

In his Saheeh, al-Bukhaari included a chapter entitled “Chapter on politeness with people” in which he said:

It was narrated from Abu’l-Darda’: We smile at people when our hearts are cursing them.

He also included the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) concerning this topic:

A man asked permission to enter upon the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he said: “Let him in, what a bad son – or brother – of the clan he is.” When he entered he spoke kindly to him. I said to him: O Messenger of Allaah, you said what you said then you spoke kindly to him? He said: “O ‘Aa’ishah, the worst of people in status before Allaah is the one whom people leave alone for fear of his foul mouth.”

Ibn Muflih al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

This attitude of Abu’l-Darda’ does not mean approving of something haraam; rather it is politeness that may achieve some purpose. This is what is meant by the report narrated in al-Saheehayn and elsewhere from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her): “O ‘Aa’ishah, the worst of people in status before Allaah is the one whom people leave alone for fear of his foul mouth.”

It says in Sharh Muslim and elsewhere: Being polite to one whose foul mouth you fear. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not praise him to his face or in his absence, rather he sought to soften his heart by giving him some worldly thing and speaking gently to him.

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr quoted the words of Abu’l-Darda’ with regard to the virtues of good manners.

Al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah (1/50).

The scholars wrote chapters on politeness, and Ibn Abi’l-Dunya wrote an essay entitled Politeness towards people, in which he said (p, 48, 50):

It was narrated that Humayd ibn Hilaal said: I met some people who regarded politeness as an act of charity towards one another.

It was narrated that al-Hasan said: Being friendly towards people is half of reason. End quote.

Hanbal said that he heard Abu ‘Abd-Allaah – i.e., Ahmad ibn Hanbal – say:

People need politeness and kindness, and enjoining what is good without harshness, except a man who does evil openly, who must be told and stopped.

Al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah (1/191).

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

In some cases politeness dictates that we should not say the truth. Is this regarded as a kind of lying?

He replied:

That depends. If the politeness will result in rights being denied or falsehood being approved, then this politeness is not permissible. But if the politeness will not result in any falsehood, and it is just kind words that are general in meaning, and it does not involve testifying falsely in anyone’s favour or denying anyone’s rights, then I do not think there is anything wrong with it.

Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz (5/280).

Thirdly:

It is also important to differentiate between praiseworthy politeness and blameworthy flattery. People mix them up because they are confused about proper manners and attitudes nowadays.

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Some of them think that politeness is flattery, but they are mistaken, because politeness is recommended but flattery is haraam. The difference is that flattery refers to the one who shows one thing whilst concealing another. The scholars explained it as mixing with the evildoer and showing approval of what he is doing without denouncing it, and politeness is showing kindness to the ignorant whilst teaching him, and to the evildoer whilst denouncing his action, and not being harsh towards him when he is not committing evil openly, and rebuking him gently in word and deed, especially if his heart needs to be softened and so on.

Fath al-Baari (10/528).

Fourthly:

Many friends – and this happens a lot among women – misunderstand the true nature of their friendship, and they tend to go to extremes and develop strong feelings when the other person does not feel the same way; rather the other side does not intend to form such a strong friendship, rather the aim is just an ordinary friendship as dictated by circumstances. In that case the one who felt the deeper attachment may feel pain such as could not be borne by mountains. We need to guide this friendship that could captivate our hearts because of people we love, so that we will not be surprised one day and start imagining that everything has started to collapse around us when a friendship was never like that in the first place.

‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Your love should not reach the point of infatuation and your hatred should not reach the point of destruction.

At the same time we need to deepen our understanding of brotherhood, which dictates loyalty, honesty and sincerity, where there is no room for excessive politeness and courtesy. In the past they said: When friendship is sincere there will be no pretence.

Undoubtedly such flattery is blameworthy and has no place in brotherhood and true friendship. If there is some occasional flattery among friends, it should be only what is dictated by circumstances, so as to ward off fitnah or preserve love. But if flattery is the basis of that friendship, then it is a distortion of all the meanings of true brotherhood.

‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The worst of friends is the one who tries too hard to flatter you and the one who expects too much courtesy from you and the one who makes you feel the need to justify yourself constantly.

It was said to one of them: Who should we make friends with? He said: The one who removes from you the burden of pretence and with whom you feel no reservations.

Ja’far ibn Muhammad al-Saadiq (may Allaah be pleased with him) used to say: The most burdensome of my brothers to me is the one who flatters me too much and I feel reserved with him. Ihya’ ‘Uloom al-Deen (2/181).

And Allaah knows best.

#qna #reminders

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imaginesoutofahat · 5 years

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Stardust || Part 2

A/N: This is part 2 of a multi-part fan fiction . Feed back is not only welcomed but encouraged! The gifs used belong to their rightful owners.

Loki tried to invade New York. You knew he was crazy, hell it’s one of the things that drew you to him. This was a different crazy. After he dropped off the end of the rainbow bridge you felt as if a part of you died as well, but next thing Thor comes back with Loki in cuffs and the tesseract.

You watched as Thor kept a hand on Loki’s shoulder a protective yet commanding gesture. You looked towards them from your shaded spot in the front of the castles steps.

“Take him to the All Father.” Thor told the guards as the guards took Loki from him. After Loki was out of sight you walked up to Thor.

“What happened Thor?” He turned to look at you. He dismissed all the workers bustling around the front of the palace.

“Loki tried to take control of an Midgardian city called New York. I do not know what he wished to accomplish, but he caused much anguish to the people of Midgard.” Thor turned back around and glanced at asgard around him. You put a hand on his arm offering some comfort.

“What are we going to do with him?” Thor smiled at your almost motherly tone. He glanced up at you. “You went from motherly towards me to Loki, I don't know if i'm amused or disappointed.” You giggled at Thor. It seems as though it's been forever since your trip to Joteinheim.

“You might want to go listen in. We all know how my father can be.” You nodded and patted Thor's arm before running off to the throne room. You quickly caught up to the guards and Loki. You hid behind one of the pillars hoping to remain unseen. Loki approached the throne he looked towards his mother.

“Have I made you proud?” Frigga fiddled with her hands, a nervous tick that only happened with her children.

“Please, don't make this worse.” This sent pain through your heart. You knew Loki better than anyone, although you haven't been close for very long before he fell out of Asgard he found comfort in you and you in him.

Your thoughts drew you away from the conversation between Loki and the All Father, but the booming voice of Odin drew you back.

“Your birthright was to die!” He yelled at Loki. Tears quickly grew in your eyes. You always knew Loki was more Frigga's son then Odin’s, but saying that to someone you raised. It’s sickening. Odin commanded the guards to escort Loki to a cell under the castle, most likely where he’d spend the rest of his life. You watched as Frigga tried to reason with her husband then turned your attention to the god. His eyes were fearful as he looked towards his mother, hoping in some way she could get him out of this. You took a deep breath in as Loki’s figure fully disappeared deeper into the castle. You stayed in your hiding place until both Frigga and Odin were no longer paying attention to the rest of the throne room. You rushed to your room, forgetting to breathe while trying to hold your tears in.

You had spent weeks in your room, much like you did after Loki ‘died’. You tried to go to the dungeon to see him, and tell him you were still on his side like you promised. But, when you got to the doors two guards dragged you away, and placed you in front of Odin.

“(Y/n), going to see Loki?” He said looking down on you from his throne. The hate you felt for Odin and how he's treated Loki wanted to escape your lips, but if you wanted any chance to see Loki you had to keep quiet.

“Yes All Father. May I see him, please?” You looked up at him hoping that’s what he wanted to hear. “No one is allowed to see the criminal-”

“He’s your son! Not some unnamed criminal locked away-” He clicked his staff causing a loud boom to echo the throne room silencing you.

“Do not talk back to me, remember your place. No one is to see my. No one is to see Loki. And if I or anyone shall catch you doing so you will be banished. Do you understand?”

“Yes All Father.” He nodded at the guards who took you back to your room. When the door clicked behind you and the stomps of the soldiers faded you finally let yourself cry. Numbers of servants tried to remove you from your room for an extended amount of time.

“Lady (Y/n)! Thor, Sif, and the Warriors three are going to restore peace in Hoguns home realm. Would you like me to collect your gear?” You denied refusing to fight anymore.

This morning would be no exception. A knock at your door took you from the words in your book to look at the door.

“Please leave me alone!” You all but yelled at the door. A few seconds passed and you thought they left.

“(Y/n)? Dear, please let me in.” Shit. Queen Frigga was at your door not another castle maid. “One minute please!” You rushed from your spot on the bed quickly marking your page and placing it on the shelf beside your bed. You quickly ran a hand through your hair trying to calm it down, before opening the door to the Queen.

“Your majesty! What can I do for you?” You asked her trying to fake some sort of emotion. She smiled at you.

“(Y/n), I’ve known you since you were a girl. You’re family,call me Frigga, please.” You blushed and looked down. “Anyway, I’m going to see my son I was thinking you may want to join me? He doesn’t want to admit it, but I think he misses you.” She smirks as the heat reappears on your neck. Quickly the feeling of happiness that would come from Loki possibly missing you was replaced with a feeling of anger and sadness. Tears pooled in your eyes for the thousandth time that week.

“Thank you, Frigga, but I don’t think I could handle seeing him in that cage.” You said venom dripping your tone as you thought of where Loki was being held.” She nodded giving you a sad smile. “Well don’t tell anyone I am seeing him. I was told I’m not allowed to.” She rolled her eyes and you smiled at the Queen's rebellion. “Any time you want to see him, just send a projection down.” You nodded at her instructions. She pat your cheek in a loving manner before she turned and walked back down the hallway. You quickly closed the door and returned to your book. Yet, the thought of seeing Loki, talking to him, constantly took your attention away.

You put your book down, officially. Then began to project yourself to Loki. You kept yourself invisible incase a guard was near his cell. You ended up behind Loki, and you heard the conversation between Loki and his mother.

“Do the books I gave you not interest you?” She said as Loki paced the small cell.

“Is that how I am to while away eternity? Reading?” He said, his usual sarcastic tone that you’ve missed so dearly bringing a smile to your face.

“I've done everything in my power to make you comfortable Loki.” Frigga said.

“Does Odin share your concern?” He said leaning over the back of a chair to talk to his mother, a sly look was on his face. “Does Thor?” Frigga went to speak. “Does (Y/n)? She never sees me, and I know you've asked her to join you before.”

“You know well that it was your actions that led you here. Your Father-”

“He’s not my Father!” He yelled at her. Both you and Frigga jumped in surprise.

She took a breath. “Then am I not your mother?”

Loki hesitated. “You’re not.”

You saw the hurt on Frigga’s face. Before she could say anything else Loki touched her hand which caused her projection to disappear.

Loki’s sad expression quickly disappeared when you revealed yourself to him, and it turned to stone. “I was wondering when you’d be come to see me.”

“I tried to when you first were put in here but the guards wouldn’t let me in.”

“There's no need to lie, YN.” Loki almost spat.

“I’m not lying! I was brought to Odin. He said I would be banished if I came to see you.”

“Then why are you here? Why are you risking it?” A pang of hurt stabbed at your heart. How could he not know how much you cared, and that you’d risk everything to see him happy.

“Because I, clearly unlike you, care about our friendship. I care for you Loki.” He gapes at you.

“You think i don’t care for you (Y/N)? You were the only one other then my mother to be kind to me even after you knew the monster I am.” “If I hear you call yourself a monster one more time i swear-” Loki cuts you off with a heavy sigh and storms off to his bed. He lays down with his eyes closed.

“Loki, please. I missed you.” He opened his eyes and sat up a little bit and he began to smile. With his smile still on his face he layed back down.

“Pull up a chair then, fill me in on everything I’ve missed.” You smile widely. Finally the Loki you’ve grown to adore was back. You rolled your eyes.

“I can’t grab the chair, remember?” Your astral form unable to touch physical objects. He sighs again and sits up.

“Always making me do everything.” He waves a hand and you are thrown out of your astral form. You were shocked for a second before your real body was back in Loki’s cell. You giggled as you moved the chair and sat in it.

“You’re going to get me in trouble for being here.” He turned his head and looked at you.

“You’re still here, sitting down might I add.” He said with a wide smile that you returned.

“Tell me what was Midgard like?” You asked him hesitantly wondering if he would want to even talk about his time there. He laid down and began to tell you about New York and Germany and how much you would have loved the cities.

“And the library (Y/N), It was magnificent! Hundreds of thousands of books.” You stared at him politely, the passion in his voice warming your heart.

“I wish i could have seen more of it, but that aside fill me in on everything that has happened here.” You began to tell him every major thing.

“The princess of Alfheim, i forget her name so called fell into Thor’s lap at dinner.” Loki gasped then spewed into laughter. “In more recent news, Thor brought Lady Jane to Asgard.” He stopped laughing,

“A mortal, here on Asgard?”

You nodded and hummed in agreement. “Your fath- Odin isn’t very pleased at the moment.” He began to throw a cup then catch it as you both sat in thick silence. Then a loud scream causes Loki to freeze and catch the cup. You both look across the dungeon. You spring up to the edge of Loki’s cell and look at the prisoners fighting in the cell. The guards go running towards the fighting prisoners. The one who started, and so far has been finishing everything, pushed through the magic cell wall. He began to fight the guards, and once again finished the fight. He began walking through the dungeon opening up the cells causing a massive riot between prisoners to guards. Loki stands up and joins you at the edge of the cell. The big prisoner makes his way to Loki’s cell. They both stare at each other while you just stare in shock at Loki. Loki is smirking at the massive prisoner taunting him, his eyes screaming to let him out. When the prisoner begins to walk away Loki’s proud smirk falters a little.

“You might want to take the stairs to the left.”

“Loki!” You yell at him for letting the dangerous prisoner escape. You begin to argue with Loki about how what he just did was wrong.

“(Y/N), he isn’t going to get far.” You roll your eyes at him feeling as though those words of his, as normal, would come back to bite him. The warriors three quickly found there way into the dungeon to help maintain the riot.

“You may want to sit, this will take a while.” Loki says as he watches the riot from the inside of the cell. He sits down in the corner and makes a book appear, and begins to read. You roll your eyes and join him on the floor as he begins to lightly read to you. Loki falters slightly as you both hear Thor's booming voice yell towards the prisoners. After a minute all previous chaos was silent.

“Loki?” Thor yells into the cell. Loki sighs and rolls his eyes before standing up.

“Hello Thor.” Loki just stands and sares a stare with Thor. You quickly stand up and join Loki.

“Lady (Y/N)? Weren't you banned from seeing Loki?” Thor said threateningly. You only shrugged.

“Aren’t we all banned from bringing mortals here?” You clapped back at Thor, who’s proud smile shrank. You were about to say something when a guard rushed into the dungeon.

“Prince Thor! The Castles defences have failed the dark elves are infiltrating.” Panic flashed on Thor’s face and he quickly ran out of the dungeon. You tried to teleport out of Loki’s cell, but something began to block your magic.

“Loki let me leave.” He shakes his head. “Loki I swear to-”

“You heard the guard! The dark elves are attacking, it’s too dangerous for you.”

“Loki I am a trained warrior I can handle myself.” You began to try to teleport out again. Loki touches your shoulder.

“Please don't leave me.” He says barely above a whisper and over the chaos outside of the cell you were surprised you even heard it at all. You sighed and sat back in the chair Loki followed sitting back on his bed. You don’t know how long you sat next to Loki, but it was a good few hours. Loud bangs and crashes echoed the on the floors above you and loki, causing clouds of dirt and dust to fall from the ceiling. Suddenly all was quiet, and you began to pace the cell hoping an Asgardian guard came back down not a Dark Elf. Loki eventually joined in your pacing when everything stayed quiet.

“Everything has to be okay, right?” Loki asked you still pacing the small confines of his cell, and you just stayed quiet, scared to jinx it. That’s when you saw the palace guard approach the cell. The look on the guards face was not something to be happy about. It was detached and shocked, but still had a hidden fear within it.

“Lady (Y/N), why are you-?”

“Long story. Why are you here?” You cut the guard off as you felt Loki slowly stand next to you.

“I have news from the palace for Prince Loki, and I guess you now as well.” Loki took a seat on the chair as you placed yourself behind the chair leaning on it.

“The Dark Elves have been removed from Asgard, but a few got away. They are most likely planning another attack. There was major damage done to the castle, but little to the surrounding areas. Very few civilian Asgardian casualties, however,-” At this moment your heart dropped. A however in a sentence containing the word casualties was not something anyone wanted to hear. “There was one major Asgardian casualty. Queen Frigga was stabbed by a Dark Elf.” Your world stopped, as your sure Loki’s did as well. You looked down at him, but Loki only nodded dismissing the guard. With the random guard quickly leaving you two be Loki finally reacted. He stood up from the chair.

“Leave.” Loki said coldly facing away from you staring at the white wall previously behind you two.

“Loki you can't expect me to leave you right now.” You said as strong as you could. Frigga was like family to you. She was one of your idols, and she gave you a purpose gave you a home. But, she was Loki’s mom first, she was the first to accept Loki, to stand for him, and one of the few to truly care for him. Loki’s last words to her replayed in your head as they most likely were doing for him. You’re not my mother.

“Loki-”

“I said leave!” He yelled, still refusing to remove his eyes from the wall. You quickly sighed as tears filled your eyes, and you teleported out of Loki’s cell. It’s not something you’ll ever know, but the moment you were gone Loki snapped and broke everything in his cell.

“Thor you can't.” You pleaded him as he began to make his way into the dungeon that Loki was still trapped in.

“You are in no position to tell me what I can and can’t do Lady (Y/N). Just prep Jane for our departure.” You sighed and stopped walking, Thor quickly responded and stood in front of you.

“Be safe Thor there is so much loss in Asgard, and I don’t think anyone could handle another heartbreak.” Thor looked down at you with admiration, and your heart swelled at one of your oldest friends.

“We’ll be safe. He’ll be safe, I promise.” He wrapped you in his arms before tapping your shoulder and running into the dungeon. You quickly ran the other way and found Jane, and got her ready for whatever Thor was about to do.

You stood with Lady Jane and Sif in front of Thor and Loki. Thor quickly told everyone his plan, and for once it was solid. You believed in him and his promise. You and Lady Sif watched as guards approached the five of you.

“Go take her, I’ll hold them off.” Sif said looking at Thor, and you gave her a glare. “We’ll hold them off.” You nodded as Thor grabbed Jane and Loki awkwardly ran behind them. You and Sif held of the guards as best you could, due to the large number advantage they had. When you and Sif finally got fully outnumbered you were put into a cell. Hours passed as you panicked in the small confines in the cell.

“(Y/N) listen he’ll be fine, they all will be fine.” Sif repeated to you over as you continued to stress over not hearing any information. You wanted to listen to her, you wanted to believe Thor’s promise but something in you new bad things were only going to get worse.

When a Guard walked up to your cell and opened it along with Sif’s you knew there was information. The three of you silently walked into the throne room as a guard that you’d never seen before stood beside the all father.

“Lady Sif and Lady (Y/N), what you did here today was honorable in the words of helping the prince. However, as citizens of Asgard what you did here today was treason and for that you will be banished. You have 24 hours left on Asgard we meet in the morning in the Bifrost.” Odin said looking down disappointed at you and Sif.

Sif kneeled onto the tile, she put her hand across her chest. “Yes My king.” Odin nodded at her before she stood up. Quickly turning to walk out of the throne room Sif cast you a soft glance, and you smiled and nodded at her before she fully exited.

“My King? Have you heard anything from the princes?” You said as you also began to kneel in front of the throne. Odin sighed, heavy and reluctant.

“Yes I spoke to Thor before I called you in here.” You looked up at him trying to conceal your happiness. “Thank you sir.” You said before standing up and all but running out of the throne room

Your heart fluttered at the thought of seeing Loki again free and out of his cage. You thought of everything you were going to tell him before you were forced to Midgard. You felt your smile widen as you ran throughout the castle in search of the two boys. In your haste you almost failed to see Thor on the main balcony of the castle. His back was turned to the doors, he was looking out over the city of Asgard. You opened the doors quickly the bright and wide smile beginning to hurt your face. The sudden sound of the doors opening behind him caused Thor to turn around and face you. Thor's face caused your smile to falter and shrink a little. Never had you seen the prince’s face so sulkin and sad, not even after his owns mother’s passing.

“Thor, where’s Loki? I need to speak to him. Something has come up and I need to tell him some-” You stopped yourself as you looked at the still numb look on Thor’s face. “Thor? What’s wrong? Where is Loki?” You felt your heart sink into the pit of your stomach and your eyes burned from the tears building

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry,” Thor said walking towards you. The air of Asgard suddenly felt frozen. You shook your head walking past him to the previous position of looking over the balcony. “Loki, my brother didn’t return from Svartalfheim.” Thor told you weakly.

You quickly faced him, “Thor you promised. You promised me! You said he would be okay. You said you would-” Your words quickly replaced with sobs as you hit pounded on Thor's chest with each promise he didn’t keep.

Once you stopped hitting him, Thor wrapped his arms around you letting you sob into him. Thor slowly moved the both of you to the ground. He rubbed your hair and your back as you sobbed out. “We lost him Thor. We lost him again.” You stayed like this until the sun rose over the horizon of Asgard.

“It’s time for me to go Thor.” He looked at you and hugged you in an almost bone crushing hug. “I’m going to miss you (Y/N).”

“Likewise Thor, please be careful on whatever you do.” He nodded as you began to walk away towards Sif who was waiting for you at the beginning of the rainbow bridge. Thor waved at you both before Sif and you began to walk towards the Bifrost.

“Are you ready for this Y/n?” Sif asked you as you drew nearer to the Bifrost.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, Sif.” As you were walking you turned your head to look back one final time at the castle you’ve long called home. You took a shaky breath as you stepped into the Bifrost. You said a final goodbye to two things you loved that day.

Taglist: @markusstraya @drakesfiance @jessiejunebug @queenred23 @fuckthatfeeling @little-blue-popsicle @oatballsoffury @midnightdragonzero @superflashallen

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kyloreign · 6 years

Text

a blanket across the stars: part 4

Part 4!

The suns rise over the island and light pours into Rey’s small window high up in her hut. It shines on her face waking her. She sits up sleepily. Then she feels it. A presence. The air goes still… someone is here with her. She glances around and then suddenly there he is. Kylo Ren is sitting across from her in her hut. But… how? Her mind goes straight to Han and she reaches for her blaster, firing into his chest.

*****

A medical droid performs its work, whirring quietly in Kylo’s ear as it steadily pulls together the mending skin on his cheek. Minimizing an outer scar as he can feel the others so raw inside him.

She’s gone. The bridge of the Resistance ship explodes in his mind over and over. The reinforced glass spraying into the darkness, sparkling coldly, each piece carving through his scarred heart. Her presence fading from him like she was being pulled underwater. Further and further away from him. His father and mother both falling away from him. The tightness in his chest is almost unbearable. I am truly alone now.

Suddenly the whirring falls away and he feels someone nearby. He brushes aside the droid. The air feels fresher… he scans the chamber and on what was a bare storage bench on the opposite him, she sits. The girl. Though she’s across the room he can feel her mind like she is mere inches from his face, her breaths move through him as if their lungs are connected. What is this? He can see the sudden rage light her eyes and she grabs an object next to her, and fires directly at him.

Kylo feels the pressure from the shot punch his gut and he gasps, looking down at his chest. But no… he is unharmed. He looks back up but she is gone. How? He scans his room quickly and slides out into the hall. He looks down the corridor and then back up and there she is, standing before him. This is my chance. “You will bring Luke Skywalker to me,” he Force-commands quickly. She just frowns at him. Lowering his arm, he feels slight heat come to his face. Looking her up and down he realizes, she can’t be here. Thinking back to his varied research on the Force when he was with Luke he tries to pinpoint what this could be. He’d read that very powerful Jedi could project their bodies across the galaxy for a short time but it was extremely draining on ones life-force and could result in death. “You’re not doing this the effort would kill you.”

He begins to analyze, trying to figure out how this is happening. “Can you see my surroundings-?”

“You’re going to pay for what you did,” she cuts him off.

“-I can’t see yours… just you,” he gazes at her. Just her. Just like all those years ago. Sleeping on his floor. He feels strangely glad to see her. She’s alright. She wasn’t on the ships he blew up. He just senses anger from her. He’d also read of connections between Force-sensitive individuals able to communicate simple ideas and feelings to each other, he’d seen it when he was young between his mother and Luke. But this is so much stronger…

“No, this is something else,” he ponders aloud. She turns suddenly to look at something to her right. Then looks back at him with an awkward glance. As if she is concerned someone else can see him, and he can see a vague picture coming from her. She is definitely not sending it purposely. He asks, “Luke?”

*****

When she looks back, he is gone. She explains to Luke that she was cleaning her blaster, when it went off. He seems to buy it.

Her first Jedi lesson is in mediation. Luke wants her to feel the Force around her. She does and it’s beautiful. Connecting life and death and everything in a giant circle. Perfect balance. Luke explains that the Force does not belong to the Jedi. To say that if the Jedi die, the Light dies is pure vanity. Rey thinks this makes sense. The galaxy will keep on turning whether someone notices or not.

But she can feel the pull of something lower, further down. “There’s something else, beneath the island… a place, a dark place.”

“Balance, powerful light, powerful darkness,” Luke acquiesces.

“It’s cold… it’s calling me,” Rey breathes.

“Resist it Rey,” Luke commands.

She can’t. The dark calls her… it has the answers she seeks. Just before she tips over the edge she sees in her mind, she pulls back, and gasps, clinging to the rock she’d be sitting on. Luke looks at her with wide terrified eyes, “You went straight to the dark.”

“That place was trying to show me something,” she explains.

“It offered something you needed and you didn’t even try to stop yourself,” Luke steps away from her. Rey is confused. It didn’t feel like the dark wanted to hurt her. It just pulled at that part of her that has questions. Why should she be afraid finding her answers wherever they may be?

Luke turns back to her, “I’ve seen this raw strength only once before, in Ben Solo. It didn’t scare me enough then, it does now.”

Ben… Kylo? What does he have to do with this?

Rain hammers down on the Falcon as Rey leaves Chewie to continue to try to contact the Resistance. She wants to go see the storm. Rainwater is pouring off the edge of the ship in a waterfall and Rey sticks her hand in it grinning. She’s never seen rain like this before. The ocean is wild and waves are shooting water up onto the cliff side. She closes her eyes feeling the Force in the wind and rain. The passion of it all-

There’s that presence again. It’s him.

*****

Kylo is standing near a bay window, watching fighters being repaired. Repaired from the battle where he lost her. After so many years of trying to deny their existence, now that both his parents are gone, they are constantly on his mind. Twin weights pulling down his heart. Sparks fall from above like raindrops made of cold light- he tilts his head. He can hear the ocean…

He turns as he feels her presence and there she is. Her poncho is shining wet. It must be raining where she is. He is still trying to understand, “Why is the Force connecting us? You and I?”

“Murderous snake,” she interrupts him again and her words are a cold lash across his face. Tracing the scar she put there. She is still so angry, “You’re too late. You lost. I found Skywalker.”

His mind reels. She found him. Has Luke told her? Does she know? He looks her up and down. “Did he tell you what happened?” She looks confused. “The night I destroyed his temple, did he tell you why?”

“I know everything I need to know about you,” she spits. Still such anger. He comes closer, looking into her eyes.

“You do?” He searches her, no, Luke hasn’t told that story yet. Her eyes glitter. “Ah, you do. You have that look in your eyes. From the forest. When you called me a monster.”

“You are a monster,” she glares, such passion in her face. Despite the cold rain and wind he can sense around her, the heat of her spirit warms him.

His eyes bore into hers intensely and he returns that heat, “Yes. Yes I am.”

*****

Rey’s brow furrows, her face feels warm. This connection is so… intimate, all their emotions apparent and clear. She hadn’t expected him to admit to it. She can see in his eyes that he owns his misdeeds. She can feel the guilt that plagues him as a result. She had thought that he took pleasure in killing and torturing. Had no qualms about getting rid of anyone who stood in his way. But she can see each scar he takes on laid bare. This insight was an interesting one. As wave crashes on the cliff her eyes run along the visible scar on his face. Her scar. She’s marked him. Kylo’s light dappled face vanishes and she feels a shiver down her back.

****

As she disappears, Kylo feels a trickle running down his cheek. Next to the scar she’d made. Her mark on him. He runs his gloved palm over his mouth and sees that it comes away dripping with water. How?

****

Rey’s second lesson begins. “The Jedi are romanticized, deified. But if you strip away the myth and look at their deeds, the legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris.”

“That’s not true,” Rey protests.

They sit by a pool lined with tiles. They form the image of a Jedi meditating, split in half down the middle by a lightsaber. One side light, and one dark. Forming the balance.

“It was a Jedi master who was responsible for the training and creation of Darth Vader,” Luke elaborates.

“And a Jedi who saved him,” Rey counters. “Yes, the most hated man in the galaxy, but you saw there was conflict inside him. You believed that he wasn’t gone, that he could be turned.”

“For many years there was balance. And then I saw… Ben. My nephew,” his voice cracks. “With that mighty Skywalker blood. In my hubris I thought I could train him, I thought I could pass on my strengths.” He looks down, “Leia… Leia trusted me with her son. But by the time I realized I was no match for the darkness rising in him, I was too late.”

Here it is, Rey thinks. The story Kylo wanted me to know. “What happened?” she asks.

Luke turns away from her, he can’t even face her as he explains. “I went to confront him, and he turned on me.” He tells her that Ben pulled the hut down on them both, and believing Luke to be dead, went on to murder most of the students and set the temple ablaze.

“Leia blamed Snoke, but it was me. I failed,” there are tears in his eyes.

It wasn’t Luke’s fault that Kylo went to the dark side. Rey wants to make sure he knows that she needs him. And that he will be a good Master to her. “I need someone to show me my place in all this. And you didn’t fail Kylo. Kylo failed you. I won’t,” Rey states with conviction.

Luke looks to the side… avoiding her gaze.

Rey is walking in the dark across the island back to her hut when she feels it again. The air quiets and she can sense him there.

“I’d rather not do this now.”

“Yeah, me too,” he replies sounding odd.

“Why did you hate your fath”- She turns to him and sees that he’s shirtless looking back at her. Bare, exposed. Without his mask or gloves. Or anything that makes him Kylo Ren… except for pants anyways. And he looks… good. She looks away and then back again, feeling heat on her cheeks, “Do you have something - a cowl or something you could put on?”

He stands there unmoving. Almost as though he’s enjoying how flustered she is.

“Why did you hate your father? Give me an honest answer,” she tries again.

He steps closer.

“You had a father who loved you, he gave a damn about you,” her voice breaks, the tears are coming. How could someone privileged enough to have parents, and not only that, parents that cared - How could he do this when she had never had anyone.

****

Kylo could feel her angry confusion buffeting him like a gale force wind. “I didn’t hate him.”

“Then why?” she asked.

She’s still so fixated on Han. She hasn’t grieved. She needs to know he’s gone. His death should only plague me.

“Why what?” he prompts. She needs to verbalize it if she’s ever going to move on. Looking past the tears streaming down her face he pushes, “Why what? Say it.”

“Why did you”- her voice breaks again, “why did you kill him? I don’t understand.”

“No?” Could she really not relate? He can see the dark thoughts she has about her family. The ones she won’t admit to herself. “Your parents threw you away like garbage.”

“They didn’t,” she protests.

“They did. But you can’t stop needing them. It’s your greatest weakness.” It used to be his weakness. Pining for a faith in him that would never come. Only when he cut loose those ties could he no longer be held back. Only then could he become Kylo Ren. And leave poor unwanted Ben Solo in the past. She needs to do the same.

“Looking for them everywhere. In Han Solo, now in Skywalker.” Skywalker. Has he told her? He wants Rey to know of Luke’s betrayal. To know why he is not a good Master. Why he will let Rey down. Just as he let Ben down. “Did he tell you what happened that night?”

“Yes,” she replies angrily.

He can see the version Luke told her floating in her mind, “No.” Typical Skywalker, changing the story to suit himself. He lets her in to see his memory of the night.

*****

She sees the glow of the green lightsaber Luke held over Ben ready to strike. “He had sensed my power, as he senses yours and he feared it,” Kylo explains. Rey’s heart clenches. She feels the betrayal keenly through the bond. The lack of faith. The pain, knowing that Luke could see the good in his grandfather but not in him. So there must really be no hope for him. And she watched as Ben lit his blue lightsaber, simply defending himself.

“Liar,” she whispers halfheartedly. Seeing Ben’s memories through him impressed upon her the truth.

“Let the past die, kill it if you have to. Thats the only way to become what you are meant to be,” he impresses upon her as he fades. She takes a slow breath, wiping the tears away.

Each time they speak like this, she feels the pull of the dark sea cave more strongly. Kylo says, let the past die. That her parents threw her away like garbage… She needs to know. She is tired of not having the answers.

#reylo fic #ablanketacrossthestars #star wars #rey #kylo ren #ben solo #the force awakens #the last jedi

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imaanoverdesires · 7 years

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I remember Him I talk to Him but i dont pray extra... I dont feel like... It might be depression but He doesn't need our prayers right? So He is watching my struggle and take me out of it bring me close to Himself even if i cant do the effort right?

He ﷻ watching US struggle. Heﷻ is watching all the mankind in this whole world. Heﷻ is watching those who worship or dont worship Himﷻ. He is watching everything, yes. But what kind of effort do you mean? Effort of worshipping Himﷻ seeking for His helps or effort for the problems in your life? If it was the effort of you worshipping Himﷻ, in my opinion :

Sometimes… Allahﷻ tests us to see if we will return or even getting closer to Himﷻ or else, we turn away from Himﷻ. Allahﷻ tests all the people no matter they’re believers or disbelievers.“Why?”It is only Him who knows why…If Allahﷻ tests those who worship Himﷻ (the believers), the ones who are more religious than us, or even to our beloved Prophets, then who we are not tested by Allahﷻ?! Right?

Talking about salaah, just let me explain a little (no offense, i believe you already know this. I just want to remind you again :) )…

Salaah (prayer) is then, the powerful line of communication available at any time to the human being for a meeting, seeking help, and remembering Allahﷻ. When Musa A.S spoke to Allahﷻ at the sacred valley of Tuwa, one would imagine that meeting to serve as a great recollection of Allahﷻ. However, Allahﷻ did not tell Musa A.S to remember Himﷻ through that amazing meeting but told him to :

“And I have chosen you, so listen to what is revealed [to you]. Indeed, I am Allahﷻ. There is no deity except Me, so worship Me and establish prayer (salaah) for My remembrance.” [Quran, Taha ; 13-14]

Salaah : Cure for Difficulties

The Prophet Muhammadﷺ would turn to salaah when he would face difficulty. Hudhayfah ibn Yamman said that :

“When something would be difficult for the Messenger of Allahﷺ, he ﷺwould perform salaah.” [Fath-al Bari- Hasan]

The Prophets Sulayman and Ayyub during their tests were described as “awwab”, those who returned to Allah ﷻoften.

Regarding Sulayman :

“And to Dawood We gave Sulayman. An excellent servant, indeed he was one repeatedly turning back [to Allahﷻ].” [Quran, Sad ; 30]

“And We certainly tried Sulayman and placed on his throne a body; then he returned.” [Quran, Sad ; 34]

Regarding Ayyub :

“And remember Our servant Ayyub, when he called to his Lord, “Indeed, Shaytaan has touched me with hardship and torment.” [Quran, Sad ; 41]

“…Indeed, We found him patient, an excellent servant. Indeed, he was one repeatedly turning back [to Allah ﷻ].” [Quran, Sad ; 44]

Each of them kept the line of communication open and engaged during their challenges. As a result, they were granted better conditions afterward. Sulayman was given a kingdom like no other with the wind and jinn under his servitude.

“So We subjected to him the wind blowing by his command, gently, wherever he directed, And [also] the devils [of jinn] – every builder and diver and others bound together in shackles. [We said], “This is Our gift, so grant or withhold without account.” [Quran, Sad ; 36-39]

Ayyub was given his health and family back with greater happiness.

“And We granted him his family and a like [number] with them as mercy from Us and a reminder for those of understanding.” [Quran, Sad ; 43]

The help and support from Allahﷻ are clearly conditional. It has to be earned. Expecting a guarantee of Hisﷻ help without fulfilling His ﷻset conditions would be a pipe-dream. Note the very first thing Allahﷻ lists as a condition after promising His support is salaah :

“…And Allah ﷻsaid, “I am with you. If you establish prayer and give zakaat and believe in My Messengers and support them and loan Allah ﷻa goodly loan, I will surely remove from you, your misdeeds and admit you to gardens beneath which rivers flow. But whoever of you disbelieves after that has certainly strayed from the soundness of the way.” [Quran, Al-Maidah ; 12]

Prayer is the lifeline of faith. Without it, there is no line of communication to Allahﷻ and in essence, no faith. The Prophet Muhammadﷺ said :

“The covenant between us and them is the salaah. If one abandons it then they have committed disbelief.” [Hadith Sunan An-Nasai, Book 5, no. 464]

The Need for Salaah

If one uses the available line of communication or not, it doesn’t affect Allahﷻ. Therefore, the answer to the question, ‘does Allah ﷻneed our prayers?’ is NO. Allahﷻ has made it an obligation because it is beneficial for mankind and not that He ﷻis in need of our salaah or our recognition. Humans need guidance from the All-Knowing to determine what is the right course of action in every moment of life.

A doctor obligating a patient to receive treatment does so for the benefit of the patient and not because the doctor has a need to prescribe treatments.

We are wired for a transcendent belief. We feel it. Even atheists acknowledge a higher power. Salaah provides the link and line of communication to that higher power. This is why the dial up to connect is “Allah is greater”.

Well, anon… I honestly dont know what happened to you or what makes you became this way or any other reason behind this… but if you dont mind to share with me for what has happened to you, maybe I could help…? In shaa Allah.

And once again, i really really am sorry if my answer and explanation didnt help at all… Im not a sheikh and this is my best to answer. I really am sorry for my ignorance… But i always hope i could help you and the others as long as possible…

I hope Allah ﷻ will always make things easier for you :)

PS. : if i made any mistake here, please kindly to correct me. You can just reply this for the correct one. Thank you. Jazak(i) Allah khairan.

#islam #salaah #prayer #islamic #Q&A

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inkognito97 · 7 years

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Sith Senator Obi-Wan - Part 2

Secretly Obi-Wan was glad for Qui-Gon's presence, it grounded and anchored him in the moment, he didn't concentrate on his fears this way. At least not as much as he would have otherwise.

"Good day Senator Kenobi," Mace Windu's words were formal, but his tone was warm and there was even a smile on his usually stoic features. The young Sith wondered how long it would remain there.

"Master Jedi, it is a pleasure as always," he carefully let go of the older male, making sure he was steadily standing on his own two feet, before Obi-Wan bowed deeply in respect.

"The pleasure is ours," Shaak Ti replied.

"What can we do for you, Senator Kenobi?" asked the Korun Master.

The ginger haired Sith in disguise took a deep breath. He send a brief glance over his shoulder and found himself looking into the open and curios face of Qui-Gon Jinn, the man who had shaped him as much as his biological father had, perhaps even a little bit more.

"I came to discuss the Sith and their appearance, I have news concerning them and their identity." His heart was beating faster. His arms were in front of him and his right hand clenched his left wrist. That certainly caught the twelve Council members' interest. They had suddenly straightened in their comfortable looking chairs and their eyes were practically glued to the young Senator's frame. Obi-Wan did NOT shift uncomfortable, though he wanted to. Even Master Yoda looked more alert than usual.

Plo Koon was the first to catch himself. He cleared his throat, "Every new information that leads us closer to stopping a war from starting, is deeply appreciated Senator."

He bowed his head and averted anyone's gaze by closing his eyes. "There won't be a war," he said.

"So sure you are, hm?"

"I am not only sure, I KNOW it Master Yoda."

"What clues do you have?" Mace Windu again.

"Not a clue, proof," he opened his eyes and he knew they were golden.

Those, who could see his face, gasped in a mixture of shock and disbelief, perhaps even denial. Even Master Yoda looked as if he did not want to believe what he was seeing. But no one could deny the hard fact, when Obi-Wan's presence darkened, not by overly much - he would describe himself as relatively balanced - but still dark and shadowed. But before any Jedi could react or say anything, did Obi-Wan take s large step forward. Thirteen hands reached for their lightsabers, but Obi-Wan simply slipped to his knees in front of the Order's Grandmaster. He looked deep into Yoda's eyes.

"I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sith Lord and also known as Darth Lumen. Darth Maul, the Zabrak who engaged Master Jinn on Naboo, was a comrade. 'Was', because he has betrayed his own comrades, way before the incident on Naboo. He was not supposed to attack… I am aware that mere words won't excuse what has happened, which is why I am here. I, Lord Kenobi, am offering myself to the Jedi and therefore I submit to the Jedi Council's words and judgement. Do with me, what you wish." At the end of his speech, Obi-Wan had lowered his head to the floor. He was completely submitting himself and he wanted to show it.

Meanwhile the Council, as well as Qui-Gon and his Padawan, were exchanging looks. Some had taken their hands from their lightsabers, other had stood up and moved into a battle position. The conflict was clear in the air. There were those, who knew Senator Kenobi and could not believe this was happening and there were those, who simply saw the Sith and knew about their deceptive nature.

"I say we take him prisoner and then we find out what he knows and what he has planned with all means necessary." Obi-Wan was not sure who had spoken, he didn't know ALL Council members and Jedi by name after all.

Another voice joined the first and another joined them, until the whole chamber was filled with different voices, who all wanted to present their opinions and views. All in all, it was pure chaos. And in the middle of it, Obi-Wan was still in the submissive position on the ground, until a clawed hand touched his shoulder and urged him to look up.

"Master Yoda," he mumbled, but they stood close enough for the green Jedi to hear and understand him.

"Afraid you are?"

"No my Master, I have accepted my fath- … my fate and I will stand for Darth Maul's crime, even if the price is my life." He had almost revealed that his father was a Sith as well. The small male's ears lowered, he seemed sad,

"Come to this, it will not." The diminutive Master stepped back again and motioned for Obi-Wan to raise to his knees. He hit with his stick on the ground and immediately all voices quietened.

The young Sith felt Qui-Gon's inquiring Force presence, but he did not dare to reach out as well, neither did he want to see the disappointment and hate in the other's midnight blue eyes. Those thoughts were actually the worst. He could live with the hate of the whole galaxy, except when Qui-Gon or his father would hate him as well.

"What I don't understand," this was Shaak Ti's voice, "is why you have revealed yourself. What were you hoping to gain?"

"Merely your understanding and enlightenment Master Jedi. I want to make you see that what Darth Maul did, was not in the Sith's interest, merely his own. Also I hoped to show good will by offering myself as a sign of regret."

"Peace you seek?" Yoda asked, he was still standing right in front of the young Senator, who did not found it so hard to look into the Master's eyes anymore

"More than anything… I am sick of all the fighting, all the hate against the Sith. The Sith are just beings like everybody else. We can change too you know."

"Unlikely," a Master who sat close to the door, said.

"I could say the same about the Jedi. Your view is stiff and without compromise. You follow the Code of a long forgotten era and you still don't help those, who need your help the most." Obi-Wan was about to be interrupted, but he would not allow it, instead he stood up and leveled the Jedi he was talking to with a stern glance. "Don't you deny it, instead you should direct your gaze on the Outer Rim territories. Thousands of slaves and suppressed people, people who are angry at the Republic for not helping them and people who are jealous of what we have, but they don't. Those beings are in danger, in danger of themselves and of falling to the dark side. Or why do you think Maul was such a mindless monster while I am not? I could have joined him on his crusade after all."

"But you are not stupid," this was Qui-Gon's voice. Obi-Wan still did not turn around to him. Though the deep baritone voice had been rid of all emotions, yet his eyes always told a completely different story.

"Maul was not ‘stupid’, he was brilliant in his own way, but he was also blinded by his anger and jealousy."

"And you are not?" asked Shaak Ti, she wore a thoughtful expression on her face.

A moment of silence passed. "I would like to say 'no', but it would be a lie. I am merely human, I have feelings. We all do. And…" he sighed, "I think I let my fear of the consequences guide my steps, which is why I am now standing before you."

"Elaborate," the dark skinned Korun Master ordered. His eyes were shadowed, the smile now gone from his face.

"Had the Sith decided to stay hidden, you would have thought us guilty and evil, wouldn't you? Even more so than you do now." The Council members exchanged glances and Obi-Wan could feel in the Force, that they were silently talking to each other. He straightened his spine and gazed over Yoda's chair out of the window, but he was not really seeing anything.

He just waited and what felt like an eternity, the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order spoke. "Discuss this we will, in private." This was not only directed at Obi-Wan, but at Qui-Gon and Anakin, the latter who had been surprisingly silent during the whole meeting. It was probably due to the shock.

"Masters?" speaking of the blonde.

"Yes Padawan Skywalker?" Plo Koon reacted.

"I know that my opinion does not really matter, I am only a Padawan after all, but… but I know that Obi-Wan is nothing like that man Master Qui-Gon fought. That thing was darker and it made me feel sick and disgusted, but Obi-Wan doesn't."

"Thank you for your insight Padawan. The Council will take your observation in consideration," and from the way Master Koon had said it, he really would.

"Now to you, Senator Kenobi," Mace Windu had once more taken the role of the Council's leader. "Until the Council has come to a decision, you will be put into a cell here in the temple. You understand that we have to take precautionary steps and therefore cannot allow you access to the Force, or to any kind of weapon."

"I understand," he nodded.

"Do you carry a weapon with you? You will be searched nevertheless, but you can make it easier for all of us."

"I don't, I came fully intending to surrender." Mace nodded and then turned his attention to Qui-Gon. He hesitated for a moment, but the Force had shown him what to do. "Master Jinn, you will accompany the Senator to his cell."

When Qui-Gon was surprised at being selected, then he did not let it show. Obi-Wan however did for the briefest of seconds. He and Qui-Gon had a history and were emotionally connected. Surely Mace had seen something, otherwise he would not be sending an injured and emotionally connected man to escort a prisoner, a Sith prisoner.

"Yes Master," said the tall man and he bowed so that single strands of his long brown hair fell into his face.

"Dismissed you are, for now" a green claw waved them away. The two Jedi and the Sith bowed one last time and together they left the Council chamber and all the way towards the door, Obi-Wan prayed that he would not have to talk and face Qui-Gon, though he knew that it was inevitable.

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #Sith au #sith!obi-wan #senator!obi-wan #sheevson #obi wan is palpatine's son #Counci's reaction #prompt #sheevson AU

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christsbride · 7 years

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The Quran: Who Wrote It?

Is the Quran today the same as the original teachings from Muhammad himself? Of course Sunni Muslims would say yes. In fact, all Muslims must agree that they are, but, in the Shiite sect of Islam, not all are in full agreement of the source of the final product of the original teachings. To remove Christian bias, we will look at the historical quotes from Muslims themselves and see how accurate the Quran is. Did Muhammad Write The Quran? There are no eyewitnesses anywhere in the Qur'an who said they saw Muhammad talk to an angel, nor did anyone say he met or talked with Allah. The teachings of Muhammad, came from Muhammad himself, only, verbally. Muhammad did not know how to read or write.

“Before this, you did not read any book, nor did you write anything with your hands”. (29:48). Those who follow the Messenger, the unlettered prophet (7:157)

So if Muhammad could not read or write, who wrote it? The Qur’an was revealed gradually over a period of 23 years to his followers, who then memorized what he said and in some cases write it down on various formats. It was written on leaves and bone and such. The majority of the teachings of Muhammad were memorized by his followers. Muhammad himself did not perfectly memorize all that was revealed to him.

Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: ... (Muhammad said) I am only a human being and I forget just as you do; so when I forget, remind me ... (Sunan Abu Dawud: bk. 3, no. 1015; also Sahih al-Bukhari: vol. 1, bk. 8, no. 394)

So, when the divine revelation was forgotten, they simply replaced the divine revelation with something they felt was better or similar.

We do not abrogate a verse or cause it to be forgotten except that We bring forth [one] better than it or similar to it ... (Qur'an 2:106, Saheed International)

So the importance of his followers to memorize what he taught was very important. Did Muhammad's Reciters Perfectly Transmit His Teachings? The battle of Yamama in 632AD, after Muhammad's death, made his followers realize the need to write his teachings down. Over 700 Muslims were killed, over 400 were followers who had his teachings memorized were killed. What if everyone who only had it memorized were all killed? Muhammad's close friend, Salim, who had memorized a great deal of what Muhammad taught, was one of the over 400 reciters killed in the battle of Yamama.

"Abdullah bin ‘Amr mentioned ‘Abdullah bin Masud and said, “I shall ever love that man, for I heard the Prophet saying, ‘Take (learn) the Qur’an from four: ‘Abdullah bin Masud, Salim, Mu’adh and Ubai bin Ka’b.’”(Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 6, Book 61, Number 521)

Zuhri reports, ‘We have heard that many Qur’an passages were revealed but that those who had memorised them fell in the Yemama fighting. Those passages had not been written down, and following the deaths of those who knew them, were no longer known; nor had Abu Bakr, nor `Umar nor `Uthman as yet collected the texts of the Qur’an. (John Burton, The Collection of the Qur’an, pp. 126-127, Abu Bakr `Abdullah b. abi Da’ud, Kitab al-Masahif’, ed. A. Jeffery, Cairo, 1936/1355, p. 23:)

Different Versions of The Quran? Here we already see, as recorded by Muslim sources, that portions of the teachings of Muhammad were lost. However, during the reign of Abu Bakr, Hafsah (a wife of Muhammad) kept for herself a written copy of Muhammad's teachings and kept it until 667AD. In fact, there were others who also had memorized the teachings of Muhammad in different dialects and versions.

"Masruq reported: We used to go to Abdullah Bin Amr and talk to him. Ibn Numair said: One day we made a mention of Abdullah Bin Masud, whereupon he said: you have made mention of a person whom I love more than anything else. I heard Allah’s Messenger as saying: Learn Qur'an from four persons: Ibn Umm Abd (i.e., Abdullah Bin Masud - he started from him - then Muadh bin Jabal and Ubayy bin Kab, then Salim the ally of Ali Hudhaifa. (Sahih Muslim, Book 031, Number 6024) "Anas is reported to have said: Four persons collected the Qur'an during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger and all of them were Ansar: Muadh Bin Jabal, Ubayy Bin Kab, Zaid Bin Thabit, Abu Zaid. Qatada said: Anas, who was Abu Zaid? He said: He was one of my uncles. (Sahih Muslim, Book 031, Number 6029)

"Narrated Ibn Mas'ud: I heard a person reciting a (Quranic) verse in a certain way, and I had heard the Prophet reciting the same verse in a different way. So I took him to the Prophet and informed him of that but I noticed the sign of disapproval on his face, and then he said, "Both of you are correct, so don't differ, for the nations before you differed, so they were destroyed." (Sahih al-Bukhari: vol. 4, bk. 56, no. 682)

"Concerning the arrangement of the Qur'an in the manuscript of Abd Allah ibn Mas'ud, Al-Fadl ibn Shadhan said, "I found in a manuscript of `Abd Allah ibn Mas'ud the surahs of the Qur'an in accordance with the following (different) sequence ... These are one hundred and ten surahs." (Al-Nadim, p. 53)... One of our reliable friends has informed us, saying that the composition of the surahs according to the reading of Ubayy ibn Ka'b is in a village called Qariyat al-Ansar, two parasangs from al-Basrah, where in his home Muhammad ibn Abd al-Malik al-Ansari showed us a Qur'anic manuscript, saying, "This is the copy of Ubayy which we have, handed down from our fathers." I looked into it and ascertained the headings of the surahs, the endings of the revelations, and the numbers of verses. ... one hundred and sixteen surahs. (Al-Nadim, pp. 58-61)

The witness accounts to differing renderings between Masud's version and Ubayy's version. Both of them were reciters of Muhammad. A discovery of the early San'a 1 (Standford 07) manuscript proves there were different versions of the Quran outside of Ziad's version. Due to the loss of a great deal of followers who only had Muhammad's teachings memorized, Abu Bakr appointed Zaid ibn Thabit to compile all remaining Muhammad teachings. Aside from potentially losing the teachings of Muhammad, there was a growing issue of differences between the different reciters of the teachings; this was also causing confusion and conflict.

"Hudaifa b. al Yeman came to `Uthman direct from the Aderbaijan and Armenian frontier where, uniting the forces from Iraq and those from Syria, he had had an opportunity to observe regional differences over the Qur'an. "Commander of the faithful," he advised, "take this umma in hand before they differ about the Book like Christians and Jews." `Uthman sent asking Hafsa to lend him the sheets [inherited by her father, `Umar, from Abu Bakr, and now in her possession] "so that we can copy them into other volumes and then return them." She sent her suhuf to `Uthman who summon Zaid, Sa`id b. al `As, `Abdul Rahman b. al Harith b. Hisham and `Abdullah b. al Zubair and commanded them to copy the sheets into several volumes. Addressing the group from Quraish, he added, "Wherever you differ from Zaid, write the word in the dialect of Quraish for it was revealed in that tongue."... When they had copied the sheets, `Uthman sent a copy to each of the main centers of the empire with the command that all other Qur'an materials, whether in single sheet form, or in whole volumes, WERE TO BE BURNED…' (Burton, pp. 141-142- citing Ahmad b. `Ali b. Muhammad al `Asqalani, ibn Hajar, "Fath al Bari", 13 vols, Cairo, 1939/1348, vol. 9, p. 18)

"Ibn Abbas reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: “If there were for the son of Adam a valley full of riches, he would long to possess another one like it, and the son of Adam does not feel satisfied but with dust.” And “Allah returns to him who returns (to him)." Ibn Abbas said: I do not know whether it is from the Qur'an or not; and in the narration transmitted by Zuhair it was said: I do not know whether it is from the Qur'an, and he made no mention of Ibn Abbas. (Sahih Muslim: bk. 5, no. 2285)

The Official Version, Not Authorized by Muhammad? The solution? Create a single source text in one specific approved rendering and dialect (Quraish, the Ziad version) and burn the rest. But some of those who were closest to Muhammad disagreed with conforming to Ziad's version. By this time, Umar took power after Abu Bakr and then Uthman after him. Hafsah, a wife of Muhammad, refused to give hers so that it would not be burned. Even Abdullah Bin Masud, a direct follower of Muhammad, disagreed with Ziad's version.

"Abdullah bin Masud reported that (he said to his companions to conceal their copies of the Qur'an) and further said: He who conceals anything shall have to bring that which he had concealed on the Day of Judgment, and they said: After whose mode of recitation do you command me to recite? I in fact recited before Allah’s Messenger more than seventy chapters of the Qur'an and the companions of Allah’s Messenger know that I have better understanding of the Book of Allah (than they do), and if I were to know that someone had better understanding than I, I would have gone to him. Shaqiq said: I sat in the company of the companions of Muhammad but I did not hear anyone having rejected that (that is, his recitation) or finding fault with it. (Sahih Muslim, Book 031, Number 6022).

This consolidation effort continued because of the continued discrepancies between the different teachings. Abdullah's variant readings were attacked by those who were in power.

Narrated Ibrahim: The companions of 'Abdullah (bin Mas'ud) came to Abu Darda', (and before they arrived at his home), he looked for them and found them. Then he asked them: "Who among you can recite (Qur'an) as 'Abdullah recites it?" They replied, "All of us." He asked, "Who among you knows it by heart?" They pointed at 'Alqama. Then he asked Alqama. "How did you hear 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud reciting Surat Al-Lail (The Night)?“ Alqama recited: “By the male and the female.” (Qur’an 92:3) Abu Darda said, "I testify that I heard the Prophet reciting it likewise, but these people want me to recite it: “And by Him Who created male and female.” (Qur’an 92:3) But by Allah, I will not follow them." (Sahih al-Bukhari: vol. 6, bk. 60, no. 468; also Sahih Muslim: bk. 4, no. 1799-1802)

'Yazid b. Ma`awiya was in the mosque in the time of al Walid b. `Uqba, sitting in a group among them was Hudaifa. An official called out, 'Those who follow the reading of Abu Musa, go to the corner nearest the Kinda door. Those who follow `Abdullah's reading, go the corner nearest `Abdullah's house.' Their reading of Q 2.196 did not agree. One group read, 'Perform the pilgrimage TO GOD' The others read it 'Perform the pilgrimage TO THE KA’BAH.' Hudaifa became very angry, his eyes reddened and he rose, parting his qamis at the waits, although in the mosque. This was during the reign of `Uthman. Hudaifa exclaimed, 'Will someone go the Command of the Faithful, or shall I go myself? This is what happened in the previous dispensations.' He came over and sat down, saying, 'God sent Muhammad who, with those who went forward, fought those who went back until God gave victory to His religion. God took Muhammad and Islam made strides. To succeed him, God chose Abu Bakr who reigned as long as God chose. God then took him and Islam made rapid strides. God appointed `Umar who sat in the midst of Islam. God then took him also. Islam spread rapidly. God next chose `Uthman. (Burton, p. 143, Abu Bakr `Abdullah b. abi Da'ud, "K. al Masahif", ed. A. Jeffery, Cairo, 1936/1355, p. 11;)

We were sitting in the mosque and `Abdullah was reciting the Qur'an when Hudaifa came in and said, 'The reading of ibn Umm `Abd! [ie. `Abdullah] The reading of Abu Musa! By God! if I am spared to reach the Commander of the Faithful, I will recommend THAT HE IMPOSE A SINGLE QUR’AN READING!' ‘Abdullah became very angry and spoke sharply to Hudaifa who fell silent. (Burton, p. 142, Abu Bakr `Abdullah b. abi Da'ud, "K. al Masahif", ed. A. Jeffery, Cairo, 1936/1355, p. 13)

Hudaifa said, 'The Kufans say, "the text of `Abdullah"; the Basrans say, "the text of Abu Musa". By God! if I reach the Commander of the faithful, I WILL RECOMMEND THAT HE DROWN THESE READINGS." (var. Masahif) `Abdullah said, 'Do and God will drown you, but not in water!' (Burton, pp. 146-147- citing Abu Bakr `Abdullah b. abi Da'ud, "K. al Masahif", ed. A. Jeffery, Cairo, 1936/1355, p. 13).

"The Syrians," we are told, "contended with the `Iraqis, the former following the reading of Ubayy ibn Ka`b, the latter that of `Abd Allah ibn Mas'ud, each accusing the other of unbelief." (Labib as-Said, The Recited Koran: A History of the First Recorded Version, tr. B. Weis, et al., Princeton, New Jersey: The Darwin Press, 1975, p. 23)

As the political preasure against Abdullah mounted, eventually, Ziad's version (Utmanic textual tradition) became the source for the current rendering of the Quran. But, still remains some issues. The Incomplete Teachings of Muhammad When Umar heard people declaring that they knew the entire Qur’an, he said to them: “Let none of you say, ‘I have learned the whole of the Koran,’ for how does he know what the whole of it is, when much of it has disappeared? Let him rather say, ‘I have learned what is extant thereof’” (Abu Ubaid, Kitab Fada’il-al-Qur’an). Ziad's versions was also dependent on Abu Musa's reciting of Muhammad's teachings but with that came a problem. He forgot some of what Muhammad taught.

Abu Musa al-Ash’ari sent for the reciters of Basra. They came to him and they were three hundred in number. They recited the Qur’an and he said: You are the best among the inhabitants of Basra, for you are the reciters among them. So continue to recite it. (But bear in mind) that your reciting for a long time may not harden your hearts as were hardened the hearts of those before you. We used to recite a surah which resembled in length and severity to (Surah) Bara’at. I have, however, forgotten it with the exception of this which I remember out of it: “If there were two valleys full of riches, for the son of Adam, he would long for a third valley, and nothing would fill the stomach of the son of Adam but dust.” And we used to recite a surah which resembled one of the surahs of Musabbihat, and I have forgotten it (Sahih Muslim 2286).

Not just there, but other places where teachings of Muhammad had been forgotten.

We used to recite a surah similar to one of the Musabbihat, and I no longer remember it, but this much I have indeed preserved: ‘O you who truly believe, why do you preach that which you do not practise?’ (and) ‘that is inscribed on your necks as a witness and you will be examined about it on the Day of Resurrection’. (As-Suyuti, Al-Itqan fii Ulum al-Qur’an, Page 526).

Another one of Muhammad's wives (Aishah) also noticed that some verses were being left out. Even teachings relating to stoning and breastfeeding were not included in Ziad's version because, well, one of her written records was eaten by a goat.

A’isha . . . said, “Surat al-Ahzab (33) used to be recited in the time of the Prophet with two hundred verses, but when Uthman wrote out the codices he was unable to procure more of it than there is in it today [i.e. 73 verses].” (Abu Ubaid, Kitab Fada’il-al-Qur’an)

"It was narrated that Aishah said: “The Verse of stoning and of breastfeeding an adult ten times was revealed, and the paper was with me under my pillow. When the Messenger of Allah died, we were preoccupied with his death, and a tame sheep came in and ate it.” (Sunan ibn Majah 1944).

When considering all this, we see that the current version of the Quran is lacking a lot of Muhammad's teachings. Of what was consolidated we can only truly conclude that it is the version of Ziad and what he chose to include. Even in his version, it still lacks all the teachings that were lost when followers of Muhammad were killed or simply forgot what he said. Those who disagreed with his version were attacked and their versions were eventually burned. But we don't need their copies to know that the current version of the Quran is incomplete. The testimony from those who were close to Muhammad himself prove this. This leads to more questions regarding the reliability of the Quran. Perfect Preservation? How do we know Abdullah's version is not the actual or more acurate words of Muhammad? It is historically recorded that his version was different. If both Abdullah and Ziad were both followers of Muhammad, who decided that Ziad's version was the true version? Ziad? Because he had political backing? Does politics and power determine truth? That is actually a minor problem. The real problem is the claim that the Quran has been perfectly preserved. This is logically not possible given the historical evidences from Muslim sources. By their own witness, passages have been lost, forgotten, and cherry picked to create the Quran we have today. The only thing that can be stated is that Ziad's version has been preserved, but not all the teachings of Muhammad. In fact, it is not clear that Ziad's versions is the perfect preservation of Muhammad's teachings because it differed from Abdullah's versions of what Muhammad taught. Not to mention there were other versions that may have also differed that were lost and burned. The one thing that we can conclude is that Ziad ibn Thabit is the primary source for the modern Quran. Surah 15:9 boldly declares "Indeed, it is We who sent down the Qur'an and indeed, We will be its guardian." But what happens if this declaration fails? Given the Muslim sources recording the loss of verses and forgotten verses it is proven to not have been completely guarded. This means the angels and chosen followers of Allah were unable safe guard the preservation of the revelations of Muhammad perfectly. How then can it be divine and not just the teachings of Ziad ibn Thabit? A claim that can be made is that Ziad ibn Thabit's version of the remaining teachings of Muhammad have been perfectly preserved. This is only true if we leave out the facts of the loss of teachings prior to Ziad's final product. But then, who are Muslims really following? The teachings of Ziad ibn Thabit? They can't say the teachings of Muhammad because, as shown above, some of his teachings have been lost AND others differed from Ziad's version. So they can not say for sure they are following the teachings of Muhammad. The claim of a supernatural mathematical system that proves the perfect preservation only validates Ziad ibn Thabit's version because it is not possible to include the calculations of teachings that were lost, forgotten, and burned. If you have any questions or comments about this article please contact us or join our discussion forms

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