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#‘some part of me must have died the first time that you called me baby
provelove · 7 months
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there are some songs i cannot listen to in public because i legitimately can’t be normal about them and ‘first time’ by hozier is one of them.
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fromedennn · 9 months
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“first time” makes me feel like i am lying weeping under a weeping willow with fallen leaves and the grass in my hair as the rays of sun peak through the branches
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emeraldgreaves · 7 months
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highly specific ask game: send me a line from first time by hozier from unreal unearth and i’ll tell you the moirared fic i’d write for it lmao
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werewolfenthusiast · 9 months
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when hozier said “the likes of a darkness so deep that god at the start couldn’t bear” and when hozier said “i’d still know you not being shown you i only need the working of my hands” and when hozier said “some part of me must have died the first time that you called me baby” and when hozier said “i would still be surprised i could find you darling in any life” and when hozier said “heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i” and when hozier said “but if we fall i only pray don’t fall away from me” and when hozier said “you were steering my heart like a wheel in your hands and darling i haven’t felt it since then” and when hozier said “if there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact they didn’t do it right” and when hozier said “if i was a riptide i wouldn’t take you out” and when hozier said “darling there’s a part of me i’m afraid will always be trapped within an abstract from a moment of my life” and when hozier said “do you know i could break beneath the weight of the goodness love i still carry for you” and when hozier said “darkness always finds you either way it creeps into the corners as the moment fades” and when
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holyfuckingweed · 9 months
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ANDREW FUCKING BYRNE I WILL BE SEEKING COMPENSATION FOR THE DAMAGES YOU'VE CAUSED (18 DEAD 106 INJURED 12 INSTITUTIONALISED) YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING WRITING SOME PART OF ME MUST HAVE DIED THE FIRST TIME YOU CALLED ME BABY FUCK YOU MAN I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
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nevernonline · 4 months
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✧.* must love dogs; csc one shot.
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✧.* synopsis: after a breakup (three years ago) your friend finally attempts to get you back on the saddle by creating you a dating profile despite your protesting, hooking you up on dates with some of the eligible bachelors of their choice, none of which impressed you. until one day you met the boy with the dog.
part of my seventeen movie series.
paring: seungcheol x reader (y/n uses she/her pronouns.)
genre/s: fluff, strangers2lovers
warning/s: alcohol mentions, swearing, cigarette mentions, swearing, some pg-13 jokes.
word count: 3.7k
note: im notorious atp for not editing, pls. I hope you enjoy my lil must love dogs inspired fic, its one of my fav movies!! xo.
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“So how was bachelor number five?” 
With a roll of your eyes, you gazed at your friend Seungkwan resting his feet on top of your shared glass coffee table, ticking the tip of the city guide book and magazines rested on top. 
“Boring. He was nice or whatever, good looking, but he wouldn’t shut up about league of legends and his job. Other than that he asked me no questions about myself or what I do. A failure as most would call it.” 
“So I take it you wouldn’t want to go out with him again?” 
“God, whatever gave you that impression? I thought you could tell we were headed for marriage?” 
“Hey. I’m doing you a very nice thing, you don’t have to be so sarcastic about it.” 
“Look, I know. But just because Jun is getting married and I still haven’t moved on doesn’t mean I need to be dating all of the sudden.” 
The boy patted the seat next to him. Scooching over from his spot, making room for you on the couch. 
“ It’s been nearly three years since you ended it with him. At least fuck someone before you dry up.” 
“That’s fucking gross and what vibrators are for.” 
A small scream left your friend's mouth as he covered his ears trying to remove what he had just heard coming out of your mouth. 
“Y/n his wedding is in two months, we need to find someone to bring that’s not me. You don’t want to feel the embarrassment of his pity party and everyone feeling sorry for you.” 
“Why can’t you just be my date?” 
“Too obvious. Plus your whole family will be there, just do it or you know your parents will be in your case again. This ‘ secret man’ you’ve been seeing doesn’t exist and I think your Mom is starting to catch on.” 
He was right. Your parents come from a high status, as do your ex boyfriends, they were the reason you both had met and became friends in the first place. But, when your relationship ended you lied to them, it was working well until you got a call from your very upset mother telling you Jun showed up to your house with his family and a girl on his arm that wasn’t you. 
“Okay, then why can’t I choose my own date?” 
“The men you chose to quote on quote date are literally disturbing, I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Like that one dude you brought here last time? Whatever the fuck his name was literally was wearing a necklace vial of his own blood and claimed drinking your own urine and reusing water is the only way we can save the planet.” 
“Okay, but he was nice.” 
“He literally didn’t flush the toilet because he only went number one. That’s fucked, no.” 
“Can I at least, like at the very least have some approval over the men you match me with then?” 
“Maybe.” 
“ Kwanie, please. Come on, don’t make me use the what goes around card, it’s my turn” 
“No, it's absolutely my turn.” 
“Not true, you wasted it two months ago when I had to bail you out of that strange house party orgy thing by saying your dog died and coming in crying to a bunch of naked strangers. You owe me.” 
“Valid.” 
“How did you not realize what that party was anyway?” 
“This is not currently about my life failures, but yours my beautiful friend.” 
Laughing at Seungkwan's major mishap, you forgot to greet your dog, Lucky. She was waiting and crying at your feet, finally waking up from her sweet slumber to greet you. 
“Hello my baby, do we have to go outside?” 
“She went for a walk this afternoon, but after her dinner she crashed so she probably wants a walk. I can go if you want to change or shower.” 
“No it’s alright, I can take her, you're already in your pj’s and after my date I need a distress, want anything from the mart?” 
“Ice cream?” 
With a small nod you jumped up, taking the small curly creature in your arms and grabbing her harness before heading back outside into the warm spring air. 
Ten minutes into your evening stroll, you decided to sit on the green wooden bench overlooking the water, the same bench your grandmother always spoke about when you asked her the same story about how she and your grandfather got engaged. The gold plaque with their names rubbing off sitting behind your back. 
Suddenly you heard a man yelling from behind you, running through the green grass lit up with fluorescent lights. 
“Hey, Kkuma, no come back.” 
A small white dog came up behind Lucky sniffing her and starting to play, you noticed her cute hairclip and ran your hands through her fur. 
“God, I’m sorry. She normally doesn’t run off like that.” 
“It’s okay my dog lov-“ 
As you turned around to look into the round eyes of the owner, you were stunned with how beautiful he was. 
His dark hair pushed under a cap, a white t-shirt too big for his frame sitting beautifully in his toned shoulders, and his red sweatpants matching his shoes. 
The unfamiliar man was bending down now petting your precious pet and his own at the same time talking to them in sweet baby voices. 
“This is Kkuma by the way, and you are?” 
“Y/N” 
“Hi y/n, you’re so cute, you and kkuma can be best friends if your mom lets you.”
You let out a roaring laugh realizing he thought you had introduced your pet and not yourself.
“Oh sorry, did I say something wrong?”
“No, no. It’s just I’m y/n this is Lucky sorry my fault.” 
“Oh god, cool. Sorry Lucky, I’m Seungcheol. You can call me Cheol and this is Kkuma.” 
“Nice to meet you Cheol and Kkuma.” 
“You too. Look I know I just met you and all, but I’m new to the area. I was wondering if you’d want to get coffee and let the girls hangout sometime?” 
“Oh. Yeah, of course. Let me give you my number.” 
Seungcheol handed you his cell phone with a new contact page pulled up giving you full reign to type your name and number into his list. 
Handing the device back to him your fingers touched, creating an electric shock, to not like you to believe in signs, but for some reason it felt like the universe trying to tell you something. 
“Thank you, I’ve actually got to get going, but if you're free tomorrow would you want to grab coffee and hangout at the dog park?” 
“Yeah, totally. Just text me a time, we can just meet here. What kind of coffee do you drink? There’s a good spot by my apartment. I can just pick it up for us.” 
“Wow, that’s so nice of you. Just a black americano is cool or a cold brew whichever.”
“No fun I see.”
“How would you know that? Just because I don’t like sugary drinks doesn’t mean I can’t have fun.” 
“I don’t know, we will see.” 
“We will. I’ll catch you tomorrow girls.” 
“Nice to meet you.” 
“You too!” 
Seungcheol left the same way he came running through the grass with Kkuma on his heels, following him all the way back to their home. 
Strolling back down the pathway back to your apartment, you could help but feel butterflies in your stomach, you knew nothing about the man you just met other than his name and his cute dog, but there was a lot of unknown. 
Smiling like a Cheshire Cat, you unlocked the front door and watched Lucky sprint back into Seungkwan lounging on the couch, eating for the ice cream you had forgotten. 
“Where’s the snacks? Also why are you smiling like an idiot you’re freaking me out.” 
“We met a guy with his dog, a very cute guy might I add, who actually asked for my number and wants to get coffee tomorrow.” 
“ What the fuck, it’s late tell me he doesn’t live in the park?” 
“No he said he just moved to the area, he was clearly not a park dweller he had keys, and smelt amazing actually.”
“Smelling strangers? A new low even for you”
“Oh my god, fuck off.” 
Seungkwan pulled his phone out and opened various social media apps preparing himself for best friend stalking duties. 
“What’s his name?”
“Seungcheol, not sure about his last name, but he goes by Cheol and his dog was Kkuma.” 
“Great.. okay, found him I assume?”
“What the fuck, how? Let me see.”
“Eager aren’t we?”
“Fuck off?” 
Grabbing Seungkwan's phone from his grip, you scroll quickly through the new faces' social media.
“Yeah, it’s him.” 
“Okay, let me see. Wait, he's actually hot AND seems to have his own business?” 
“Oh my god.”
“Here, look” 
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After the next few hours, you and your friend stumble on into your separate rooms preparing yourself for slumber, which never seems to reach you and before you know it dawn is creeping its way through your curtains, and your backup preparing yourself for a day with you and Lucky's new friends. 
Something about your energy was excitable and nearing frantic, you could wait to step outside into the fresh air with your pocket sized princess at your side, but it was still early. 
You had decided on pampering yourself for this morning, finding the need to make yourself up, you spread on your skin care with glee, drew perfect lines of eyeliner and strained your hair, pulling it up into a nice tight ponytail the hair tie matching the taupe tone of your sweat suit perfectly.  Before you knew it it was 9:45 a perfect time for you and Lucky to step outside the door. 
Placing her in her tote bag, you stepped inside of your favorite coffee shop, the light pink walls covered in photos and paintings, the smell of the espresso seemed sweeter. 
“Morning, y/n you look beautiful today. Would you like the usual?”
“Thank you, for me, yes. But can I also get a large americano, just black and he didn’t tell me iced or hot, so iced is good I think? Or maybe hot with a cup of ice on the side? If that’s okay?” 
“He? Did you finally start dating someone?” 
“Oh no, just a friend of mine. Seungkwan told you shit about me didn’t he?” 
“Yes. Sorry.”  
“No worries, can I actually get two of the plain croissants and two of the flower dog cookies too?” 
“No problem, it’ll be right out.” 
“Thank you.” 
Taking a seat next to the pick up counter you scrolled through the instagram of the boy you’re meant to be meeting, telling yourself it’s just to remember his face, but really it was to get a peek into what else he’s into or if he was single. 
“Y/N” 
“Oh shit, sorry. Thank you guys, see you tomorrow.” 
Picking up the paper coffee carrier and pastry bag, you waved goodbye to the baristas and briskly walked back to the bench you were at yesterday, your bench, spotting the back of Seungcheol’s head watching the water with his dog. 
“Hey. Sorry I’m late.” 
“Oh, no problem. I just got here.” 
Placing your items down on the bench, you freed her bag and greeted Kkuma alongside her before taking your seat. 
“Here’s your coffee, I wasn’t sure if you wanted hot or iced so I got you a cup of ice too just in case, a croissant, and a little treat for your girl too.” 
“Wow thank you so much, hot is fine actually. How are you?” 
“Good, nervous. I mean it’s not every day you meet a stranger for coffee.” 
Seungcheol laughed, tipping his head back slightly before taking a bite of his pastry. 
“Sorry. I know it’s weird, you just seemed like someone I wanted to get to know, and Kkuma liked you so I figured you’re good people.” 
“Well, thank you. You too. Lucky generally does not like men other than my friend Seungkwan, my dad, and my ex-boyfriend so consider yourself special.”
“I do.”
“So what brought you to this neighborhood? Work, a relationship?”
“No relationship, but actually my business partner is from here. We decided to open our warehouse and stuff here because it’s much better than doing it in the city. We have a spirit company and we’re planning on opening a brewery and bar, so that’s why I’ve been working late nights. I guess it served me well, I made a friend on my first day.”
“You’ve only been here for a full day? What the hell? You already know the best spot in town. What kind of stuff do you guys make?”
“Beer and soju mainly, we’ve been working on it for five years now and are finally at a spot to open up and start selling it to people, which is cool. But what about you? What do you do?” 
“I’m a medical student actually, my parents are both doctors, I used to really want to be one too, but I don’t know, I don’t really have the same passion for it as I used to.”
“Well what would you do if you had the choice?”
“I always wanted to design stuff for dogs, start a rescue, anything like that. I got so happy seeing Kkuma as an accessory girl.”
“Yeah, she’s very stylish. I think you should go for it, you know? Why waste time becoming something for someone else and risk being unhappy just for their sake?”
“Honestly I wouldn’t even know how to start a business on my own, let alone tell my parents.”
“Hey, I didn’t either and look where it’s gotten me.”
You turned back to the water, staring into the calm blue waters, trying not to go into your own head. 
“You’re oddly inspiring, I’ll give you that much.”
“Thank you, y/n. You’re oddly sassy, I’ll give you that.”
“Shut up, I’m not.”
“You already tried to clock me by saying I’m no fun because I drink black coffee and you said oddly inspiring like a back handed compliment. You definitely are, but I like it. 
“Good.”
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You had continued your twice weekly hangouts with Kkuma and her dad for two weeks now, getting excited whenever the days roll around to see the two of them again, but you haven’t hung out once without them around, which made you wonder if your friendship or crush rather on this boy was only due to your dogs being friends themselves. 
Seungkwan tried setting you up on more and more dates with more and more duds, he was starting to lose hope himself, knowing that the one person he could set you up with was Seungcheol but he didn’t want to overstep. 
Strolling home from another failed connection, you decide to stop and have a beer before going home to give the dirty details to Seungkwan about who you had just met. 
Pulling open the tab of one of your drinks from your six pack, you took a deep breath and sat down, feeling your eyes welling up with tears. 
Another can opened as you went to take the first sip. A hand comes on your shoulders, whispering a boo in your ears. 
“What the fuck!” 
Jumping up from your seat the hand on your shoulder belonged to Seungcheol, the look in his eyes went from happy to concerned as he saw the small streaks of tears on your cheeks, you top now dribbled with spots of beer. 
“I’m so sorry, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good. Want a beer?”
“Sure, thanks. I’m sorry I scared you, I thought you heard me behind you.”
“It’s alright, I was in my own world anyway. You look nice, where are you headed?”
“Soft opening for my bar actually, I texted you, but I figured you didn’t respond because you were busy.”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I would’ve loved to come. I was a bit preoccupied on an awful fucking date.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Worse.”
“Well the good news is you technically didn’t miss it, it doesn’t start for another twenty minutes and you’re dressed very nice. It worked out. 
“Fuck I wish I paid more attention, I could’ve got you some flowers or something.”
“Next time. Will your roommate be alright taking care of Lucky?”
“Yeah of course, he knew I would be out tonight. I’ll text him just to be sure.”
“Cheers to hanging out without our kids?”
“Definitely.”
With that suddenly your awful night and doubts about your relationship with the raven haired boy went out the window. 
“Shall we?”
“We shall.” 
Seungcheol lent his arm out for you to wrap your own around, and you both stayed out that way for a few moments, before discarding your cans and walking the way to his new venture. 
“Here it is, you ready?”
“When you told me you were opening this up I thought you hadn’t even started? But it looks like it’s fully ready.” 
“Ah, well we had planned to wait a bit, but we’re getting too antsy, so here we are.”
“It’s beautiful, holy shit.” 
“Thanks, sit here, I’ll be right back.”
You took a seat on the green leather booth, looking around and taking in the ambiance of the custom lighting and ribbon like wallpaper, when a blonde gentleman walked over sitting down across from you. 
“Y/n? Right?”
“Yeah, nice to meet you…”
“Jeonghan, I’m Cheol’s business partner.”
“Jeonghan, right. Nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot.”
“Likewise, you’re so much prettier than Cheol let on actually.”
“Oh?”
Without a chance to interrogate the new face further Seungcheol walked back over to your table, setting down a few bottles of various spirits for you to try, including a couple of cocktails. 
“He didn’t scare you too much did he?”
“Not at all, he was just telling me actually how much prettier I am than you alluded to.”
“Jeonghan, don’t do that to her, come on. You know very well I told you she was pretty, I even showed you her instagram, you agreed.”
“I know, I just wanted to make you tell her yourself and my job is done, see you around y/n.”
“Nice to meet you.”
As Jeonghan left the table you felt your cheeks growing with heat, unsure if it was the alcohol or the fact that Seungcheols friend made him confess he thought you were good looking. 
“Sorry about him, he’s a menace.”
“No need to be sorry, I have my own menace at home and I don’t mean my dog.”
Seungcheol laughed, pouring you a shot of his very own soju to taste, filling with anticipation hoping you enjoy the drink he’s serving you, looking for your approval became a big part of his mind lately. 
Lifting your glass up to his and clinking them together, the liquor poured down the back of your throat filling your mouth with sweetness and warmth. 
“Holy shit.”
“Good holy shit or bad holy shit?”
“No, very good. That’s actually delicious. It’s so clean and fresh.”
“That makes me so happy to hear.”
“I’m happy you’re happy.”
“Okay, beer next. This is just a standard sour, some lime and sea salt, sort of beach vibes.” 
“Sounds amazing, okay.”
Tipping your head back you sipped at the foamy top of the glass, savoring the flavors in your mouth. 
“I hate you so much.”
“What? Why?”
“Seungcheol, you're way too humble when you talk about your business, this shit is amazing. I said I hate you because I’m going to crave this shit and I’ll have to see you all the time.” 
“I thought you liked seeing me all the time?”
“You’re okay.”
“I have to say it’s cool to be here with you without the dogs, not that they distract too much, but they definitely take away giving you my full attention.”
“I mean how could they not, they’re cute as fuck,”
“So are you.”
“Wow, two drinks in Cheol and you’re already calling me cute? I wonder what else you’ll say the more you drink?"
“Technically we’re four drinks in, but I guess I remember the time I spent with you more than you do. Did those drinks on the bench mean nothing to you?”
“Oh fuck, I did forget. I guess technically I’m five drinks in then, catch up, bitch.”
You and Seungcheol spent the rest of the night being greeted by his friends, most of them already assuming who you were, letting you know that Seungcheol talks about you more than you realized. 
Feeling your blood alcohol content rising, you decided to take a step outside and refresh. 
The bell of the door opened up behind you, putting you face to face with his cherry lips once again, watching them light up a hand rolled cigarette to his lips. 
“Doing okay?”
“Yeah, just wanted to step out for a second. Are you good?”
“Very. Want a cig?”
“No, I’m good for now. Ask me again later.” 
“So will there be a later? You’re not ditching me now?”
“I’d never do that.”
“So, y/n does this maybe get me a chance to take you on a date? I’m kind of drunk so I’m feeling oddly bold.” 
“Is this not sort of a date?”
“I was hoping you thought so. Is that a yes?”
“Absolutely. I thought you’d never ask.”
“Before we go on our date though, y/n. I have one final question?” 
“Yes?” 
“Do you still think I’m boring?” 
“A little.” 
Seungcheol grabbed your waist and spun you around, causing his perfectly rolled tobacco to fall on the sidewalk. 
Blissfully you were giggling and laughing under the red led lights of his bar. 
“Take it back.” 
“Nope.” 
“Please.” 
You looked into his puppy dog eyes and did something out of your comfort zone. Wrapped your hands loosely around his neck, placing a deepened kiss onto his lips. 
His mouth tasted of cigarettes and salt with a hint of vanilla from the lip balm he always had on him. 
“Is that a good ‘sorry I called you boring’ kiss?” 
“It’ll do for now.” 
“Good. They’ll be more where that came from.” 
“Promise?” 
“Pinky promise.” 
You and Seungcheol unwrap from each other, finding Jeonghan standing and  cheering in the window watching the two of you. 
“Can’t believe I got a hot date and a sister for Kkuma all in one.” 
“You lucky dog.” 
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ronwestbreeze · 6 months
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you're gonna go far | 6
pairing: jake sully x neytiri x tsu'tey x fem!human! reader summary: a scientist arrives on pandora (unwillingly) a year after the exile of the rda. now she must deal with the likes of a clan leader, a great warrior, and a thanator rider. . . word count: 8.5k
read on AO3
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It was a little difficult to get out of bed that morning.
One of those days.
Long and exhausting. It was challenging to get stuff done. You knew things like this wouldn’t just go away instantly. But you hoped that maybe…
It wasn’t too bad like before. You were able to think about the chores that had to be done later in the day and pushed yourself out of the bedroom.
So you went through most of the day barely existing. Norm was the first to notice your slight change in behavior because he began trying to joke more with you—no matter how bad they ended up being—and tried getting you out of your head. And you were thankful for that. At least that’s what was different this time around. You weren’t entirely alone nor held up in your room.
That was progress, right? You honestly couldn’t tell. Sometimes you felt like you were still stuck, that you weren’t moving forward. Or getting better. At least back to what you used to be.
Yet, you’ve been this way—asleep—for so long that you have forgotten what you used to be like. You forgot when the last time you smiled. You forgot when you felt the most happy or any other emotion besides anger and grief.
You wondered where that part of you went. Some days you went searching. Other days you somberly accepted that it was a part of you, that you were never going to get back.
At some point, you figured it died along with your mother.
“You want me to check on the baby today?” Norm asked you as you were getting ready for your link for the day.
You shook your head as you sat on the link bed, “No, I’ll be fine. Just one of those days, you know? We all have em’.”
He frowned when you shrugged it off or appeared a little too nonchalant about it, “Yeah, I guess.”
“Thanks for offering though.”
“Anytime, Doc.” He gave you a pat on the shoulder, while watching you particularly closely, “Just tell me you need a break. Don’t push yourself, okay?”
He was nice. You needed something like that.
Neytiri noticed it too.
While the two of you were in the garden that day, Neytiri had been saying words in Na’vi for you to repeat. And you did it, not perfectly of course, but you managed. It was just that you didn’t take in any information. Not in the way she knew you to.
You had a certain look that told Neytiri you were hanging onto her every word, whenever you were learning something new from her. Eyes slightly vibrant with curiosity.
That look wasn’t there today. Instead, in its place was a dullness and lifeless sort of unfocused gaze.
Your ears were low again.
Neytiri didn’t know when she became so attentive to your moods or facial expressions. So much so that she could tell when you were somewhat happy and really, painfully sad—
You were just easy to read in this form.
Yes, that was it.
“What is wrong, tanhi?” Neytiri eventually asked because she didn’t completely despise you so much to ignore your change in mood.
There was a twitch in your ears when you heard your name being called. You looked up from the newly planted mushroom seeds you had been mentally counting at Neytiri to find her staring at you expectantly. “Huh?”
She rolled her eyes, “You are not listening. I know you are distracted. What is wrong with you?”
You cringed at yourself for allowing yourself to get so distracted by your swimming thoughts. Drowning in them as usual. “It’s nothing. Just have a lot on my mind.”
But the answer did not satisfy her. Neytiri shook her head, “Sky People are always hiding their feelings. You are doing that. It is okay to be sad. It is natural.”
“I’m not hiding it—” You sighed, turning your gaze back to the mushroom seeds. “It’s just one of those days. Maybe—Maybe today I am sad. I could barely get out of bed and tomorrow it might be worse—what are you doing?”
You watched as Neytiri got up and moved behind you. A second later, you feel a brief tugging at your hair until it became loose from your short braid. “If you want to learn our ways, then you must take care of your hair. I look at it and it is a mess.”
“It was in a braid before…”
“I did not like it.”
With that, she got up again and trekked back into the forest. You watched her go in bewilderment at the sudden change of conversation and attitude from the Na’vi woman. You had no idea what had come over the woman or what made her suddenly leave, but you didn’t focus on it for too long. The confusion and startlement you had was enough energy to continue planting the rest of the mushrooms. You didn’t bother putting your hair back into a braid, not wanting to spend time threading through the thick strands until your fingers were too sore to complete your job. And the last thing you needed was something stopping you from finishing this one simple task—
A splash of cold water was suddenly dumped onto your head, leaving you soaking wet.
And terribly pissed.
You snapped your head behind you to find Neytiri placing the leaf down next to her—which was glistening with water. The same water that was now spilled all over you.
“Neytiri—ouch!”
“Hold still.” Neytiri hissed at you as she ran her long fingers through your hair.
You grumbled but reluctantly listened, still confused and a bit pissed at what was going on. And for a while, the two of you remained there. You, sitting on the ground still counting the seeds quietly to yourself while Neytiri stayed behind you. Braiding a few strands of hair.
It was then you realized just how different your hair was from the way it was in your human body. The hair length was very similar to how you used to wear it when you were a teenager. You wondered then just how old this avatar body was.
Once she was finally finished, she crouched down in front of you to get a better look. Her yellow irises scanning your face and her work. Tucking rebellious strands behind your ear, patting down some of the fuzziness, and making sure the braid was visible around your face.
You watched her quietly. And soon, when she was done obsessing over your hair, she watched you too.
It wasn’t the way you and Jake watched each other. This—this had something different about it.
Time was an illusion here. Trapped in her yellow gaze. You hadn’t realized you had been staring for so long—nor did you realize you had briefly glanced at her lips—until a sudden sound from the forest pulled the both of you out of this strange trance.
And once you snapped to your senses, your body quickly reacted. You shot to your feet and cleared your throat, “I gotta check on the avatar now.” You didn’t meet her gaze. “I’ll see you.”
Before she could stop you, you already scurried off. Stopping once you were far enough away out of her sight.
Stopping when you felt a new pair of eyes watching you rather closely.
You glanced around the forest surroundings as you approached the longhouse with a frown until your eyes locked on another pair of yellow eyes. Severe ones.
Tsu’tey was in the trees further away but enough for you to see him watching you, even when you caught him doing so. He did not look away from you. Narrowed eyes and that scowl resting on his angular face.
For a moment you wondered what the look was for. You wondered what he could yell at you about this time, even though you listened to his demands and had stayed away from the Omatikaya territory.
A scared part of you wondered if he had seen you and Neytiri just now.
Nothing happened. But still, it would give enough ammunition for him to verbally attack you. Hate you even more possibly.
Except there would be no battle today. As Tsu’tey disappeared within the trees without a word.
You were confused but relieved at the same time.
Dealing with an angry clan leader was not on your to-do list. Nor were you properly prepared for it.
After watching the trees in silence, you eventually went inside.
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Neytiri watched your retreating figure with a frown, her heart…shifting—only a little bit as you disappeared. Her gaze then moved toward the trees, the area where the sound had come from before. And with an irritated frown, she got up and stalked toward the area.
They were still there. She could feel their eyes on her as she went further into the forest. With a hiss, she glared at the trees, “Come out. Enough hiding!”
Just a little bit above her, a few feet away a familiar warrior snaked out of the bushes and seated himself on the large branch with his usual expression he wore whenever he was away from their shared hut.
Neytiri frowned up at Tsu’tey, “You are watching me.”
“I am watching her.”
After a beat and a quiet sigh, Neytiri climbed up the tree and joined him. Despite his very sour mood, he tugged her close to his side as they sat together. On the branch, they had a good view of the Avatar Compound. A few dreamwalkers were running about but none of them seemed to bother Tsu’tey as much as you did. Neytiri could easily tell with how he kept glaring at the longhouse, the same place she always watched you disappear in whenever you left your false body.
“You have been spending time with her,” Tsu’tey stated more so than asking. There wasn’t much to hide, they both knew Neytiri spent some of her free time visiting you. Only when Tsu’tey or Jake are busy with their duties and she’s finished with hers before the both of them. “I do not like it.”
“She has done nothing.” Neytiri reasoned.
“Yet.”
“And what did I say if she does? I would kill her myself.”
As she said this, Neytiri felt a certain wavering in her heavy words. Like a part of her didn’t believe it anymore.
She rested her head on his shoulder, hugging his arm with a content sigh, “But I cannot ignore what the Great Mother has shown me. She has stopped my bow before and now she’s done it a second time. Do you not think it means something, yawne?”
In the corner of her, she watched as his jaw tightened, his features becoming particularly focused. “I do not trust this.”
“You do not trust the Great Mother?”
“That is not what I mean.” He corrected her calmly. Neytiri knew that Tsu’tey, like any other child of Eywa respected her and trusted in her signs. Always had. That was how he was raised. And she knew he wasn’t about to abandon that because of one demon.
But his words were still reluctant, “I do not know where our Great Mother is leading us. I do not know why she wants that demon spared—when she is just like the rest of them.”
Neytiri considered his words, “Perhaps she is like Jake—”
“There is only one Jake. And she is nothing like him.”
She made a sound of disagreement but didn’t push further on the subject. She noticed how tense he was, how tense he had been for the past week. She wondered then if he was truly upset by this or if there was something more to this quiet anger he so carefully restrained. Of course, his hatred for the Sky People was no question.
But Neytiri knew Tsu’tey.
Skin and bone. Heart and soul.
She knew her mate. Not only as a mate but as a friend. They had grown up together. Along with her sister, Sylwanin. There was nothing he could hide from her even if he tried.
“She may not be like Jake. But clearly, the Great Mother has chosen her for a reason. My mother even allows her to stay—I believe it is time you seek the answers.”
Tsu’tey scoffed but didn’t brush her off. Instead, he leaned in closer, allowing his hand to rest on her growing stomach. “You will be a great Tsahik.”
“Not as great as my mother. Nor my sister.”
Tsu’tey shook his head and cupped her cheek, “You will be great, my beautiful heart.”
A soft smile tugged at her lips only to falter when she noticed how exhausted he truly looked. How close he looked to breaking but hiding it. He could never hide it well from her. Nor Jake.
She then took his face in her hands and whispered soothingly, “What is it, my love?”
Knowing that there was no point in denying a response—knowing that Neytiri would not stop until she got what she wanted—Tsu’tey turned away from her to stare back at the compound.
“The Tipani clan are becoming reckless. They already do not like the Sky People that have stayed—but now that the demon has come, I worry they will begin to take matters into their own hands. I worry…that our clans will begin to clash.”
Neytiri took his hand in hers and pressed a gentle kiss onto his knuckles, “If it comes to it, I will stand by you. Jake will too. But I also will ask you to speak to our Great Mother about your troubles.” She caressed his exhausted lines with a small frown, “I worry for you, Tsu’tey. I do not want you to take on this task by yourself. You have Jake and I to be with you. That is why Eywa brought us together.”
Right then, he seemed to consider her words. His gaze was still unfocused while staring at the longhouse. A silence settled between them.
“Eywa has created this new path for us.” Tsu’tey mused. “Somedays I wonder if it will lead to something good in the end.”
“Do you think it won’t?”
He was silent. And Neytiri didn’t push.
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When Tsu’tey went to the Vitraya Ramunong, the night had already settled around him. When he went to kneel at the tree, connecting his queue to one of the links, his prayers were silent. But his questions were clear. His intention was pure to the Great Mother.
What does it all mean? Guide me, All Mother.
So when a single atokirina flew away from the tree, Tsu’tey took to following it both out of curiosity and apprehension. The Great Mother’s answers weren’t always clear. If anything, her signs only led to more questions.
So, Tsu’tey wondered. He wondered if this would lead to any more answers.
Or just more unwanted questions.
Tsu’tey rushed through the forest, never losing sight of the spirit. He kept going and going until he was nearing the Sky People’s base. Until the trees suddenly became familiar. Until the grounds he had seen many times before unwillingly began to appear around him.
But his body never stopped moving. He never stopped following it. Too desperate for answers. Too desperate, too yearning.
Oh Eywa, he was yearning.
And then, and then, and then.
And then he was staring down at your still false body.
It was strange. Seeing no life in your face. Tsu’tey had only seen your false body from far away, but now seeing you up close. You looked so different yet the same as your human form.
Why was he here? Why did the spirit bring him to…
No.
No.
No.
His vision rippled. Your body morphed from your human form to your false body—impossible.
And then he woke up.
Awake.
Awake.
Awake.
Tsu’tey finally realized where he was. Instead of standing in the middle of the forest chasing an atokirina, instead of standing over your false body, he was back in his hut. With his mates sleeping next to him. With his son cuddled between both Jake and him. With Neytiri hugging his waist from behind.
A dream. It was only a dream.
But why you? Why you?
Why?
“Yawne?” Tsu’tey breathed out a sigh and looked over his shoulder to find Jake shifting out of his sleep, looking at him through heavy eyelids. He sat up a bit, careful not to disturb Neteyam’s sleep as he did, “Another nightmare?”
Tsu’tey hesitated—considered the question. The dream he just had. Was it a nightmare?
“No. I am fine. Go back to sleep, my love.”
Jake didn’t look entirely convinced but eventually lied back down. Usually, it took a while for Jake to fall asleep, so Tsu’tey lay back down, adjusting Neytiri’s arm around his waist and squeezing his other hand on Jake’s shoulder.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jake asked, his voice deep and sluggish.
Tsu’tey nodded, and tucked his nose into Neteyam’s cheek as gently as he could, “I am now.”
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It took you a little longer to get out of bed the following week. But you managed. You watched a few more of your mother’s logs and even some of the other ones still in the system.
Dr. Augustine. Norm. Some guy named Quaritch. And then there was Jake Sully.
As a human.
You paused the video to examine his face. You suppose the traits matched his now blue form. The only difference was that instead of his longish dreads, he had a buzz cut in the video. And a tattoo poking out of his short sleeve shirt.
Eventually, you moved on, willing yourself to forget his face for the time being.
You also tried not to think about the fact that Neytiri hadn’t been back for about a week now. Which was normal. You didn’t overthink it. Especially not after that moment—
Eventually, you moved on, willing yourself to forget your thoughts about her.
Then you remembered Tsu’tey. Him watching you so closely. You hoped he didn’t see you and Neytiri. Frankly, you weren’t sure what would happen if he did know.
He’d kill you. That’s for sure.
Eventually, you moved on, willing yourself to forget all three of them.
When you finally got out of bed, you continued with your regular schedule and tried to think of literally anything else. You tended to your garden by yourself and continued checking the baby.
There was a bit of determination for yourself, to keep moving. To not stay in one place any longer or else you’d be stuck.
And you weren’t sure if you’d make it out if you did.
Jake continued visiting the tank room whenever he could.
Today was one of them. Only this time you made it before he did.
“How’s the baby?”
You glanced up briefly from your notes, “Healthy. It might be because Na’vi babies might grow faster in pregnancy—judging by that we might have a couple more months before it’s born.”
Jake nodded, his face serious, “Anything else?”
For a brief second you didn’t respond, too caught up in your thoughts until you realized he had asked you a question. Jake tilted his head, brows furrowed at you.
You shook your head eventually, “No, everything’s all normal.”
He stared at the belly for a moment longer before he left. You were somewhat surprised at his quick retreat but didn’t think much about it. He was some type of great warrior, he was probably busy with something else in his clan. If it meant that the two of you didn’t have to interact much with him anymore or probably a lot shorter than before, then you were okay with it.
It seemed he finally took the hint.
All you could do was keep moving.
Jake came again the next day.
This time around you brought out the ultrasound.
He watched you and the machine intensely. You noticed and gave a sound close to a huff or a snort, “Nothing’s wrong with it. I’m just doing a thorough check-up today.”
A quick look of relief crossed his otherwise exhausted features, “Right, right, of course.”
Once you got the ultrasound running and connected to the avatar, you immediately found the heartbeat with the blurry image of the fetus appearing on the screen. It had grown considerably since the first time you saw it.
“There she is.” You mumbled mostly to yourself. The heartbeat was calming in a way, easing your usual tense muscles.
Jake perked up instantly, staring at you in disbelief, “She? It’s a girl?”
You glanced up at him briefly to find a soft expression on his face upon looking at the fetus. Neteyam—who you just noticed attached to his chest—sleepily snuggled closer to his father’s chest. When his head moved out of the sling, Jake held the back of his head, giving it support.
“Yes.” You gave a short nod.
Another look of relief flashed across his face, this time he didn’t try to hide it like before. A small smile tugged at his lips, “That’s—That’s nice. Amazing.”
In the corner of your eye, you watched him. That easy fatherly expression fell upon his face. How soft his smile was, for something that wasn’t even his. You weren’t sure what to think of it—no, you expected it. It was foreign. A father loving his child. To you at least.
You didn’t know your father. Nor did you have a father figure in your life. That type of love was unfamiliar to you.
Love itself was a foreign concept that you could not yet grasp. The only time you could truly say you experienced something close—similar to love—was with your mother.
And if love was like this—heavy. Leaving you…like this.
You weren’t sure you would want to experience any type of love ever again.
“You sure you’re ready to take on another?” You raised your brows, not looking up from the belly.
Jake looked at you, “Do you care for my answer?”
“I am watching over her. I suppose I should make sure she is left with somewhat tolerable parents—that is, if there aren’t any problems with her when she’s born.” You hummed, rolling your eyes at the sudden look of worry on his face. “Relax, that’s the standard check-up of any baby—well, I don’t know how different it will be compared to human ones.”
A beat went by before he finally answered, “I wouldn’t be honest if I said I wasn’t nervous. What new parent isn’t?”
“Mmm.”
The rest of the session was just the two of you, sitting in a somewhat comfortable silence. Comfortable for you because you were able to ignore him without any problems. And Jake wasn’t being too talkative or apologetic, which was a plus. But he was noticeably less hostile toward you as the time went by. Showing that he was taking the truce quite seriously and keeping his end of the bargain.
In other words, the truce was possibly the best option for you both. You could work in peace without being hammered or interrogated. And Jake would continue his visits without any problems.
You still didn’t like him. And you were sure the feelings were mutual.
But things were becoming easier.
And sometimes you like easy. Just as much as a challenge.
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There was a part of him that was curious. Jake didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand Neytiri’s easy trust in you but it only made him more curious as he kept coming to see the baby.
Of course, you were guarded and curt around him. And he was quite the same but that didn’t mean he wasn’t at least a little bit interested in why you were so important to their deity.
So many questions.
A part of him wanted to ask Eywa himself—he wasn’t much used to praying to her but he would now and then out of respect for the People. If he asked, he would possibly gain an answer—which was incredibly rare—or he would gain more questions, which was the more common response.
So, Jake took to finding things out for himself. Even if it meant doing it the hard way. Even if it meant getting his head out of his ass and finally putting things into perspective.
Jake Sully was willing to at least keep this tolerable relationship with you going. Keeping this stable cord steady. You weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. It was time he had to get used to it. It was time for him to get over himself.
And he was willing to show that he did want something different. That he was ready to change, to finally understand you in a way.
But you still didn’t like him. Which was fine.
He didn’t like himself all that much either.
Another week went by and Neytiri still hadn’t come back. Surprisingly, you found yourself missing her. And when you began missing others, you got angry.
Since you didn’t feel like going through that process again, you resolved yourself to thinking that she must’ve gotten busy with her clan. Or grown tired of watching over you and your depressing personality once she realized that you weren’t a threat to her clan.
That must’ve been it. That’s what you chose to believe at that moment.
One day at a time.
You moved forward. Because you had to.
Throughout the week you focused on your work tending to the garden, checking on the baby, and even taking on more responsibilities around Hell’s Gate.
Sometimes you’d help Dr. Patel in the bio labs, other times you went with the other avatars to train your body. There were also days you would help Norm pack different human items he’d usually bring for the Na’vi children of the Omatikaya Clan. You, of course, never ventured too close to their territory whenever you went with him to drop off the items. You’d either stay in the ship you flew in or stay at the base as he left on his own.
Jake still kept coming around but his time there became shorter and shorter with each visit. Again, you didn’t bat an eye. You welcomed it and continued with your work.
Toward the end of your busy and long week, you woke up with a start when a blaring sound struck your room. It had to have been the middle of the night as you looked around frantically, only to realize the sound was coming from your tablet.
Quickly, you grabbed it to find the alarm was the system alerting you something was wrong.
And the problem was coming from the tank room.
You stumbled out of your bedroom and dashed through the long halls until you finally ended up in the tank room. Not caring that you were probably making a bunch of noise in the process.
When you got to Augustine’s tank, your heart sank when you found Grace’s avatar was violently twitching with the lights inside of the tank blaring a red.
“Fuck!” You hissed as you immediately checked for the problem.
The first thing you checked was the avatar itself. Her heart and the baby’s were fine but the avatar’s was slightly elevated, probably in response to whatever was happening to the machine which was the next thing you began to check.
There you discovered that something in it was malfunctioning. Throwing the liquid temperature off, the placentiums weren’t giving any more nutrients like they were supposed to. Whatever was going on, you didn’t have time to fix it or the machine.
If you wasted time like that more damage could be done and you weren’t going to risk that. Especially when the baby was in there. Especially when the baby could receive the worst of your mistake. Of this malfunction.
So, you worked fast.
You searched the room for an empty tank—which you were able to find and rolled it over next to the one Dr. Augustine’s avatar was in. You pulled the empty tank open just as Norm and a few other scientists entered.
“What happened?!” Norm questioned hastily.
Quickly, you jumped down from the empty tank and rushed toward Grace’s, “It’s malfunctioning. I don’t know why but we have to move her.”
Thankfully, Norm didn’t ask any more questions. He ordered the other scientists to help you.
You worked quickly. Draining the rest of the liquid from the tank, carefully moving the avatar—this required multiple hands—until you placed it in the new tank.
“Track her heart rate.” You ordered one of them.
A second later, a woman responded, “Stable but its body temperature’s dropping fast.”
By the time she said that you closed the tank. “Norm, fill it up.”
You jumped down, grabbed the heart monitor from the female scientist, and watched the lines closely. The tank was nearly filled up as Norm came up beside you.
Along with the heart monitor, your heart pounded through your ears as the tank finally filled up. You gave the monitor to Norm and went to adjust the temperature back to the usual settings.
When the blue lights came on it felt as if the room breathed a huge sigh of relief. You took the monitor back as Norm hummed, “Lucky you were the one to get here first. And quick thinking too—do you know what went wrong with the other one?”
The rest of the scientists poured out of the room as you slowly shook your head. “I don’t know. I couldn’t waste time, Spellman. Not when it could’ve risked the baby.”
Norm nodded and patted your shoulder, “You’re right. Good work, Doc.” He moved to the other side of the tank with a thoughtful expression. “You want me to stay and help with anything else?”
The lines on the monitor were stable, which brought you some sense of comfort. And yet the slight panic remained. “No, no. I’m good here. You can go back to bed. I’ll finish up here soon.”
“Okay.” Norm eventually moved toward the exit. “Get some sleep, Reeds. I’m serious.”
You nodded without looking at him. “Yeah, sure. Goodnight.”
“Good morning.” Norm corrected with a tired grin.
With that, Norm left. You breathed in a steady breath before grabbing a chair from the corner of the lab and sinking onto it. The monitor was kept nearby, the heart rate melodic in your ears as you set your tablet down on your lap.
For a while, you studied how far along the avatar was. It had been a good couple of months since you first discovered the child—which left her at about twenty-four to twenty-seven weeks at least. That’s not even counting when she first got pregnant. But compared to a human, the Na’vi pregnancy went by a lot faster, which also confirmed your theory.
Or maybe your perception of time was fucked up with how distracted and busy you had been.
Was that why the malfunction happened? Were you too distracted to notice any faults in the system during your usual sessions? What did happen?
You contemplated this for a while. Until your mind became hazy and your eyes droopy. At some point, you fell asleep next to the tank because there was no way you would leave the fetus’ side at that point. Not after all of that.
It felt as if your eyes had been closed for only a couple of seconds before you were suddenly jolted awake to find Norm standing over you.
“What happened? Is it the tank again?” You instantly asked, turning to check on the tank.
“No, no, no—the—she’s fine!” Norm quickly assured while easing you back into your chair. “I thought I told you to get some sleep.”
You stared at him for a beat, both a tired and an annoyed expression easily falling upon your face. “Well, I assure you I certainly wasn’t sitting with my eyes closed just then.”
Norm winced, “Sorry. I thought you’d want to get in your own bed before Jake gets here.” He rubbed the back of his neck as you got up from the chair. “I had to tell him what happened—he’s flying over now.”
“That’s fine.” You grumbled. “I can stand just one day in the same room with him. Besides, I should probably figure out what went wrong with that tank.”
Norm nodded, “Okay—uh, should I be a mediator for the both of you or..?”
“Oh, please.” You rolled your eyes. “It’s not like I’m meeting their clan leader.”
“You really need to try and get along with him.” Norm chuckled with a shake of his head.
You scowled, “Are you going to keep yapping in my ear about it or be useful?”
“Alright, alright, don’t an ass.” He strolled toward the doorway. “Jake’ll be here in fifteen.”
Once he left, you got to work again. You weren’t an official engineer but you knew a good amount of information from your training back on Earth. You hoisted yourself up and into the tank before you began taking it apart. You stood in it, trying to find out what exactly had gone wrong—while glancing at the heart monitor now and then.
Your brain was moving quickly yet hazily from the sleep. Eyes honed in on the mess of wires in front of you. So distracted by your silent questions and theories that you didn’t hear the incoming footsteps. Only the voice that followed after.
“What happened? Is she okay?”
“Yes, she’s fine.” You replied immediately, watching in the corner of your eye as he approached the new tank. His hair was tied back and across his chest was a leather strap that carried what looked like a machete. “It was just a malfunction with the tank. We were able to get her out before any real damage could be done.”
Jake frowned, “Malfunction? How the hell did you let that happen?!”
“Look, I don’t know.” You replied calmly, ignoring the twitch in your jaw. “I’m still trying to figure all that out. But she’s out of it and fine. Norm helped if that makes you feel better—”
“I thought you had things handled? What happened to that?” Jake scowled, his tone vicious.
“I do.”
“Then what the hell happened—”
“I already said I don’t know!” You seethed, glaring down at the group of wires now hanging from your hands. Somewhere in the back of your brain, you realized that Norm really did have to stand between the two of you. That this truce wasn’t stable enough. That the two of them were just too explosive. “The hell do you think I’m trying to do? Kill the baby?!”
You missed the way Jake’s face faltered slightly, catching himself. “No…No, that’s not what I—”
“Then get off my fucking dick!” You snapped, throwing a piece of the tank to the floor with a clatter.
All sound was gone from the room then.
This was the last thing you wanted to deal with. Being scolded like some child—like you already weren’t beating yourself up over this mess.
You sunk onto the floor of the tank and continued working. Because that’s what you were best at. Not conversations. Not people. Not love.
Work. It was everything to you.
Already you were mentally drowning Jake out, ignoring the fact that there was another person in the room with you. But eventually, you realized that there was nothing wrong with the wires. It must’ve been something else. Another theory down the drain.
Jake uttered your name at one point. And you ignored him.
There was a sigh followed by a short pause before he spoke, “I’m sorry.” You continued ignoring him. There was something about his apologies. You were just tired of them. “That wasn’t fair, you’re right. I shouldn’t have come at you like that—”
“Augustine’s avatar is over there.” You mumbled. “You can check on her yourself.”
There was another silence but you were too focused on what was in front of you to notice or care. You were so determined to ignore him and the sting in the corners of your eyes.
You didn’t like to cry. Especially in front of others.
Thankfully, you ignored him long enough until you realized you were finally alone.
After a while, you breathed out a tired sigh.
Fortunately, as the days went by there were no other problems with the new tank or baby, but it didn’t stop you from always double-checking everything after that close call. So much so that you didn’t realize how much sleep you were missing until Norm pulled you away from your work and forced you back into your room. Locked the door and everything just to make his point.
With the promise of Norm taking care of your work, you eventually allowed yourself to sleep for practically the entire day. Not without the tablet on the dresser next to your bed of course.
Even after catching up on some semblance of sleep, Norm still didn’t let you get back to your schedule right away. Which irritated you of course.
“I don’t want you in my garden, Spellman.”
He rolled his eyes, “And I don’t want you stressing yourself out. As your friend and colleague who happens to care about your well-being, I demand you stay away from the garden until you’re completely rested.”
You frowned at him, “We’re friends?”
“Shut up and accept my love.”
And he kept true to his word. Norm kept you away from the gardens, even the tank room. And made sure that the scientists knew how to keep you away as well. He covered all of his bases.
Damn him.
You couldn’t sit around and do nothing though. So, at some point you were so desperate you resorted to practically begging Norm to just give you something to do that would distract you throughout the whole day. You nagged and nagged and nagged until Norm finally gave in.
“There’s an old link shack north of Hell’s Gate. We’ve been thinking about restoring all of them around the area. But that particular shack’s connection is a little wonky. Maybe you could head over and restock the supplies with your avatar. Maybe even fix the connection while you’re at it.”
You nodded quickly, “Yeah, sure thing. I’ll get on that—”
“And don’t try to sneak your way to the gardens!” Norm added sternly, sending you a look over his shoulder while clicking away at his computer. “Plus, you won’t need the Samson ships. The shack’s not too far from here.”
With that, you went to grab supplies, such as med kits, weapons—one gun and a few stacks of ammo—blankets, Na’vi weapons, a hunting knife, and a bow with a few arrows. You kept the hunting knife to yourself just in case.
After getting all of this, you placed the bag of supplies in the compound longhouse where your avatar always slept when you weren’t linked. Once you got to your link bed and linked up with your avatar, you grabbed the hunting knife and the bag of supplies before taking off north from Hell’s Gate.
The sky was grey today with a few darker clouds on the horizon instead of the shimmering blue you were used to. A storm might’ve been coming.
Which meant you had to make this trip quick. There was no telling how bad these storms could get on this planet.
Similar to how you traveled through the forest with Neytiri, you took to the trees so that you’d have less of a chance of running into or disturbing any of Pandora’s finest. Hopefully, you had learned to be quiet enough to not draw any attention your way as well.
As time went by, the sky got darker. You followed the coordinates Norm gave you while slipping through the trees like the true shadow you were. Traveling and climbing through the trees got easier as you went. You had done it enough times with Neytiri that you knew what to do and how to do it. Albeit not perfectly, but enough to get by. Blending into the environment as best as you could.
You enjoyed it, the vibrant life and colors of the forest once again. Every time felt like you were taking in Pandora for the very first time. Every time felt like a huge breath of the freshest air. Here, you were weightless. You weren’t a scientist. You weren’t human. You weren’t an avatar. You were just were.
You existed here. You were real.
Truly this place was everything you dreamed of when you were younger.
Rain began to pour by the time you spotted the shack. It was propped up and well hidden in a large tree, with moss growing out of the sides, the entire thing looking like it hadn’t been used in a long time.
You slid down from a branch as quietly as you could and landed in front of the metal entrance. By the time you got the door open and crouched inside, you were soaking wet from the rain.
The shack itself wasn’t too small, which surprised you. It must’ve been made to allow avatars to be able to roam freely through here without too much trouble.
Once the door was closed, you sunk onto the empty cot in the corner of the shack and began unpacking the supplies. The med kit went into the cabinets above a wooden table attached to the wall. The blankets went on the cot. The gun and ammo went under the cot in a long black case filled with old and rusted weapons you had to throw out into the rain. You kept the hunting knife tucked in your shorts.
The rain kept going. It was relaxing. Stopping for a moment to listen. Smelling it through the cracked window next to the cot you sat on.
It was nice. You could stay here if you wanted. This could’ve been your new home if you didn’t have responsibilities at Hell’s Gate.
Lastly, you worked on the radio that sat on the wooden table—which you assumed was connected to the main base. So, for the next few minutes, you took your time messing with the radio. Listening to either ongoing static or barely audible voices going in and out. At some point, you messed with the wires a few times before Norm’s voice finally came through.
“Tomato. Tomato. Tomato.”
You pressed one of the buttons, “Hey, Norm.”
“Oh, Jesus! Reeds!” Norm startled. “Warn a guy next time!”
You pressed your lips into a thin line, “I just wanted to test if it worked. Clearly, I fixed it.”
A snap of thunder drew you away from the radio. Seemed like it was getting worse out there. You hadn’t realized how long you’d been out there until now.
Norm seemed to realize this too, “You gonna stay there and unlink?”
“Mmm.” You paused. “I’m gonna try bringing the avatar back.”
He sighed, “Alright, good luck.”
“Don’t need it.” You said as you got up. “I’m too awesome.”
“Whatever, Reeds.”
Another clap of thunder filled the air as you stepped out of the shack. Immediately you were soaked by how heavy the rain was.
Thunder continued to boom, making your skin jump every now and then. It was just terribly cold, making you start to run so that you could get out of it faster.
You ran and ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, only to realize just how much noise you were making and that the area was too unfamiliar to you. It wasn’t long until you realized how lost you were. It was just too dark to navigate your way back or recognize any familiar spots guiding your way.
With that in mind, you went toward the nearest tree and began to climb.
But your body was yanked away from the tree bark almost instantly as you were tackled down to the ground by a large weight. Your left shoulder exploded with vicious pain as if a bunch of sharp knives buried itself into your skin and continued to tear through it.
A strangled scream left your lips as the thunder clapped in the sky once more. You could barely see the creature but it was a dark, large beast. Digging further into your shoulder.
You hadn’t even seen it coming. You hadn’t been paying attention.
Now…
Now you might die because of it.
You tried shoving at it, managing to get most of its weight off of you. But the teeth were still in your shoulder. There was still pain. There was still warm liquid dripping down your arm.
When you moved your leg, you remembered the hunting knife in your shorts. Immediately, you dug into your pocket and found the handle instantly.
After that, you didn’t waste any time stabbing at it blindly and desperately. You did this, you kept going until more warm liquid covered your knife-wielding arm. You did this until the animal was limp against your body. Until you were able to push it off and scramble to your feet and run.
The pain was awful but bearable enough for you to run back to the shack at least. Mud was all over your clothes—some of it in your mouth. If anything, you probably looked insane right now.
You ran. Ran. Ran. Ran. Ran. Way too clumsy to be quiet. What’s worse was you had no clue where you were. And there was more shuffling coming from the bushes and trees surrounding you. If anything, you were probably throwing yourself further into the lion’s den.
It wasn’t long until a black creature suddenly came out of the bushes in front of you, causing you to stumble to a stop as it made its way toward you. Sleek and dangerous. Eyes locked on you.
Thunder boomed again. An identical creature came out from your right. Another on your left. Another. And another. And another.
Until you were surrounded. Until you knew there was no way you were going to make it out of this.
You kept your knife in front of you, trying to ignore the pain in your shoulder, the warm liquid running down your arm, the shakiness in your legs. You began to wonder how much blood you were losing with your energy slowly dwindling as time went by—no, it didn’t matter.
Damn it, you weren’t going to die here! Not like this.
“Come on!” You hissed as you pointed the knife at them. “Come on!”
They growled at you, closing in. Finally, one of them pounced toward you. With the knife, you slashed at it. At that, the creature cringed away and missed you entirely but that didn’t mean the others were going to try their luck.
Out of instinct, you stumbled back as two more tried coming for you. Your back hit a tree as you yelled and swung your knife wildly at them.
Only neither the creature nor your blow landed.
The two creatures were thrown to the side as another clap of thunder struck your ears.
Another figure emerged from the trees and rushed toward you.
Instantly, you swung the knife, only for it to be caught in an iron grip.
You screamed.
“Hey, hey, easy!”
It took you only a couple of moments for you to register the words and that they were coming from a familiar avatar. The last person you ever expected to be here.
Jake lowered your arm with a hiss. You blinked as another round of thunder rattled your ears.
The creatures were closing in again. Jake turned his back to you, hissing at them. His larger arm stretched in front of you protectively when one of them got a little too close for his liking. The creature hissed back
You watched warily behind him, still clutching the dirtied knife. Both of you exhausted and animalistic. Yellow eyes glimmering. One with warning and the other with desperation.
Jake looked terrifying in this light. Just as murderous and dangerous as the animals that surrounded you.
You remained behind him, trembling but glaring. Gripping that knife like your life depended on it.
There was suddenly more shuffling, more thunder, and the creatures then scattered.
You, dumbfounded by this, spoke shakily, “Why did they—”
Jake grabbed your wrist holding the knife.
“We need to move.” He said, dragging you forward.
The two of you ran in the opposite direction of the creatures. He hauled you up a tree before climbing up himself. “Is there a link shack nearby?”
For a moment, you wondered how he knew about the link shacks. You leaned on a branch both to catch your breath and because the quick movements left you a bit dizzy. When you couldn’t come up with plausible answers to your silent question you instead said, “I just came back from one. North from here—I don’t know how far it is.”
Your body leaned a little too far. Jake was quick to grab you in his stronger, more stable arms as he pulled you away from falling off the edge, “Hey, hey, Reeds, I need you here with me, okay? Just stay awake long enough until we get to the shack and we’ll clean you up.”
“I’ve...I’m losing a lot of…” Blood. Blood was what you wanted to say. But the adrenalin was wearing out. Your shoulder throbbed horribly. Exhaustion weighed you down and placed inconvenient black spots in your vision.
“I know.” He draped your good arm over his shoulder and kept you upright. “I know, we’ll get there. I promise.”
There was no arguing with him. You were soaked to the bone and in a hell of a lot of pain. Going back to the shack was your best bet in this horrid weather.
Jake continued to support your weight as the two of you followed the same coordinates leading back to the shack—or rather you haze inaudible directions of what you could remember from the information Norm had given you while Jake haphazardly followed.
Thankfully, the rest of the way wasn’t a long journey. Or maybe you just kept blacking in and out along the way, you didn’t know.
Jake and you stumbled through the door of the shack. He closed the door while you made your way to the radio with whatever strength you had left.
“Norm.” You tapped the radio while wincing. The pain in your shoulder was getting worse. Before now you had been tolerating it. “Norm, can you hear me?”
The static went on.
“Storm must be messing with the signal,” Jake said from behind you as he rummaged through the shack. “We should stay here until the storm settles—”
You rested your head against the small table, the rest of his words becoming nothing but muffled noise to your ears. God, you’ve lost so much blood. And you were so tired.
For a moment, just for a few seconds, you wanted to sleep. Only for a moment.
“Reeds.”
A larger hand rested on the back of your neck, bringing you slightly out of your unconsciousness.
Jake kept calling your name. “Hey, where’s the med kits at? We need to work on your arm, okay? And I need you to stay awake. Can’t have you unlinking in this condition.”
Sluggishly, you nodded, “They’re in the cabinets.”
More thunder rolled by. Jake left your side briefly to search through the cabinets above you. You leaned back in your seat, staring bleakly up at the ceiling.
“How long do these storms last?” You asked.
The thunder responded with a clap.
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sorry for the long wait! hopefully it was all worth the wait. another 8k chapter, yay, that wasn't difficult to write at all lol! but now jake and reeds are alone in a shack. anything could happen....
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(i'm not adding anymore people anymore!)
taglist: @doggyteam2028 @bigbootahjudy @innercreationflower @n7cje @celi-xxmoon @readerofallthingss @sillyblues @squirtlebob @saturnhas82moons @1mawh0re @aprosiacperson @loserwithnofriends @garfieldsladybird @slutforsmut4ever @lik0
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munchmemes · 9 months
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hozier lyrics, unreal unearth edition
❛  your reflection can't offer a word to the bliss of not knowing yourself. ❜
❛  no closer could i be to god or why he would do what he's done. ❜
❛  what you live in, it finds a way to live in you. ❜
❛  your heart has such darkness. ❜
❛  i wanna be gone. i wanna run so far, i'd beat the morning. ❜
❛  before the dawn has come, i'd block the sun if you want it done. ❜
❛  let all time slow. let all light go. ❜
❛  i don't need to know where we begin and end. ❜
❛  i'd still know you, not being shown you. ❜
❛  the first time that you kissed me, i drank dry the river lethe. the liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same. ❜
❛  some part of me must have died the first time that you called me baby. ❜
❛  some part of me came alive the first time that you called me baby. ❜
❛  these days, i think, i owe my life to flowers that were left here by my mother. ain't that like them? gifting life to you again. ❜
❛  oh, to share the space with simple living things infinitely suffering but fighting off, like all creation, the absence of itself ... but anyway. ❜
❛  some part of me stayed alive each time that you called. ❜
❛  whatever keeps you around, it keeps you around. ❜
❛  when i was young i used to guess, are there limits to any emptiness? ❜
❛  how could you think i'd scare so easily? ❜
❛  my life was a storm since i was born. how could i fear any hurricane? ❜
❛  i would do it again if i could hold you for a minute. ❜
❛  what good would it be on the far side of things? ❜
❛  i would not change it each time. ❜
❛  heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i. ❜
❛  i feel lighter than i have in so much time. ❜
❛  how could i fall when i am lifted by every word you say to me? ❜
❛  if anything could fall at all, it's the world that falls away from me. ❜
❛  if you need to, lean your weight to me. ❜
❛  if we fall, i only pray, don't fall away from me. ❜
❛  i'm starving, darling. let me put my lips to something. ❜
❛  you can't buy this fineness. ❜
❛  we can celebrate the good that we've done. ❜
❛  we had nowhere to go and every desire for going there. ❜
❛  i heard once, it's the comforts that make us feel numb. ❜
❛  it was just our turn being blamed for a world we had no power in. ❜
❛  i haven't felt it since then. i don't know how the feeling ended. ❜
❛  i know being reckless and young is not how the damage gets done. ❜
❛  we knew what our love was worth when we had nothing. ❜
❛  i miss when we did not need much. ❜
❛  you were steering my heart like a wheel in your hands. ❜
❛  all i needed was someone when the whole wide world felt young. ❜
❛  hold me like water or hold me like a knife. ❜
❛  you and i burned out our steam chasing someone else's dream. ❜
❛  how can something be so much heavier but so much less than what it seems? ❜
❛  you only feel it when it's lost. getting through still has its cost. ❜
❛  if there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact, they didn't do it right. ❜
❛  we didn't get it right but we did our best. ❜
❛  knowing that everything will end should not change our plans. ❜
❛  all things end. ❜
❛  there are some things that no one teaches you that come natural as a dream you didn't know that you were in. ❜
❛  the awful things we do to make the head go quiet. ❜
❛  you may never know your fortune until the distance has been shown between what is lost forever and what can still be known. ❜
❛  i don't wanna be anything but i would do anything just to run away. ❜
❛  go look another way. ❜
❛  look, i wanna be loud. so loud, i'm talking seismic. ❜
❛  i will not be great but i'm grateful to get through. ❜
❛  the memory hurts but does me no harm. ❜
❛  the moment i knew i'd no choice but to love you. ❜
❛  there's a part of me, i'm afraid will always be trapped within an abstract from a moment of my life. ❜
❛  you know, the distance never made a difference to me. ❜
❛  so, i thought you were like an angel to me. ❜
❛  it ain't the being alone. it ain't the empty home. you know i'm good on my own. ❜
❛  so much of the living is the being unknown. ❜
❛  do you know i could break beneath the weight of the goodness i still carry for you? ❜
❛  there are some people who are better unknown. ❜
❛  darkness always finds you either way. ❜
❛  after this, i'm never gonna be the same and i am never going back again. ❜
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scealaiscoite · 8 months
Text
unreal unearth prompts ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍊 ꒱
⋆ "i'd still know you."
⋆ "i'd block the sun if you want it done."
⋆ "some part of me must have died the first time that you called me baby."
⋆ "come here to me, when was the last time?"
⋆ "when i was young, i used to guess."
⋆ "do you think i'd give up?"
⋆ "do you think i'd give up? that this could've shook the love from me?"
⋆ "how could you think i'd scare so easily?"
⋆ "my life was a storm since i was born."
⋆ "if i could hold you for a minute, i'd go through it again."
⋆ "heaven is not fit to house a love like yours and mine."
⋆ "i feel lighter than i have in so much time."
⋆ "how could i fall when i am lifted by every word you say to me?"
⋆ "if you need to, darling, lean your weight on me."
⋆ "but if we fall i only pray, don't fall away from me."
⋆ "i do not have wings, love, and i never will."
⋆ "i'm starvin', darling."
⋆ "honey, i wanna race you to the table."
⋆ "two outfits then to my name, and you'd end up in one when you'd stay."
⋆ "we'd go out with no way to get home."
⋆ "but I know being reckless and young is not how the damage gets done."
⋆ "we knew what our love was worth."
⋆ "hold me like water- or christ, hold me like a knife."
⋆ "it's who we are."
⋆ "darling, we sacrificed."
⋆ "if there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact, they didn't do it right."
⋆ "we didn't get it right but, love, we did our best."
⋆ "there are some things that no one teaches you, love."
⋆ "but it came easy, darlin', as natural as another leg around you in the bed frame."
⋆ "so far from home to have a stranger call you "darling"."
⋆ "i would do everything if you'd hear me."
⋆ "the feeling came late, but i'm still glad i met you."
⋆ "i knew i'd no choice but to love you."
⋆ "i thought you were like an angel to me."
⋆ do you know i could break beneath the weight of the goodness, love, i still carry for you?"
⋆ "it's like i lived my whole life before the first light."
⋆ "the sun's coming up."
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loserdiaz · 9 months
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some part of me must have died each time you called me 'baby'
and some part of me stayed alive
First Time —Hozier
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bloodyjuls-blog · 9 months
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Mi musa. Ana-maria Crnogorcevic x Reader
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🚨SOLD OUT 24/09/23 y/n in concert at sala Razzmatazz, Barcelona 🚨
Y/N pov
I was super nervous because today would be my end of tour concert and I couldn't be more excited, I will finally spend more time with my girl. All these months that I've been dating Ana I've had a wonderful time, she is very sweet, very loving, very special to me. I've wanted to dedicate a couple of songs to her on my new album, but I don't want to arouse suspicions because our relationship is a bit low profile.
I invited Ana to the concert and she told me that her teammates love my music so I gave them a few tickets to the concert. Because with this sold out thing it's impossible, they even have a vip pass.
I was wandering in my thoughts when I get a message from Ana telling me that they are almost at the venue.
Ana from Albacete💘
Baby we are almost there
ME
Well gordi, if there's anything you can tell me ILSM ♥️
Ana from Albacete 💘
I love you❣️
Once the concert started the first thing I see is Ana with the whole Barça team? I can't believe it she has brought the whole team hahaha what a woman she is.
"Well Barna how are we?" I say euphoric in what would be my last concert. "Apparently we have some special guests here today" and I look at the Barça girls. They euphorically shout and whistle. "So, are we starting or not?" I say, teasing the audience. To which they shout "Yes" "Guapa" "Say it queen"....
A few songs later, the one I'm going to dedicate to Ana starts.
"Echaste a todos de la fiesta para quedarte sola conmigo en el salón"  I look at Ana knowing that she has understood the reference...
Flashback
"Ana my love, are your mates at home? I've already left the concert" I tell her in the middle of the call, to which she answers me: "I've already told them to leave so you can come and stay with me until further notice" she tells me seriously but at the same time sweetly. "Well my life, see you now".
End of flashback
I see that she turns red and I keep on singing... "Y si pudiera cambiar todo lo que he vivido a tu lado por millones en el banco y un coche descapotao, no" her teammates look at her funny because I'm singing the song straight to her...
"En la parte de atrás de un Mini o en playas de Santorini" this part makes her go crazy with the redness of her cheeks...
Flashback
"Anaaaaaaaaa, the car won't start" I say a bit worried from a slope in Santorini... "Y/n I don't have a signal to call the mechanic, you?" she says relaxed. She laughs a bit at me and puts on the radio.... "Ana for God's sake" I say worried. "Oh love, so little is so little, I have an idea to distract you" she says seductively.... "Oh yes, what idea does that little head of yours have?" I lean into his side a little. "First of all, we have to move to the back because my legs don't fit in this passenger seat" once we are both seated in the back I tell her "Lady I tell you once and for all that no funny business back here eh" she looks at me indignant and says: "I just wanted to give you some kisses and do karaoke" I look at her inquisitively: "well I accept your kisses but we must see how we leave" I lean to give her some kisses first in her forehead, then in her nose and then in her lips...
End of flashback
Ana's pov
This concert is special because it's the end of Y/N's tour and as she has given me the go ahead to invite the girls from the team I don't know what she has planned but whatever it is I know it's going to be great. And well who am I kidding, it's y/n everything does well....
During the course of the concert I notice that a song is playing that I haven't heard before, and that's when y/N looks at me and I can intuit that she's dedicating it to me. My teammates look at me a bit out of place because they don't know what's going on and I prefer not to say anything...
"In the back of a mini or on the beaches of Santorini" I couldn't believe that y/n had put that in a song, a phrase that seems innocent but not. "Hey Ana, didn't you have some problems on your last trip to Santorini?" Keira says to me.... "Yes" I say nervously. "AHH, it's just a coincidence that y/n made that reference and sang it to you" says Lucy connecting the dots. "What a weird thing to say, maybe she rents the car from the same place I do" I say to Lucy calmly.... "Mmm well, if you say so" says Alexia suspiciously.
Y/N's pov
"And well Barna, let's go with the last song of the night, a song that is inspired by my midnight muse," I say more calmly.... "With you 'arrullo de estrellas' " and I start playing the piano.
"Es que no hay nadie como tú, que me haga sentir así, en un arrullo de estrellas, te lo digo desde el alma, y con el corazón abierto" I raise my gaze and focus it on Ana... I see her very excited and it makes me get a little emotional. I let a couple of tears fall...
"Eres mi amor amor eterno
Mi ángel de la guarda
Te lo digo desde el alma
María llena eres de gracia "
Now it was clear who I was going to sing for.
The concert is over and I go backstage and in a matter of minutes the Barça girls and Ana clearly arrive. "Hola y/n" says Ana coming up to me and hugging me, "Hola mi amor" I greet her and give her a little kiss on her "cheek" very close to her lips. "I can't believe this is the end of the tour, wonderful, I loved it" Alexia says to me and the others nod. "Apparently you liked the concert" I say amused. "You're the best" Ana says to me in a low voice. "So, what are the plans after this" asks Irene (she already knows about us so it's a closer question) "to rest and keep composing" "I also want to take some time for myself, for my family, my girl and to travel a little bit" I say calmer after today's roller coaster of emotions. "Very good" says Irene with her stoic calm. "I hope to see you more often at the Johan. Tell Ana to give you some tickets and drop by" says Alexia. "Mmm ok?" I say quizzically. "It's obvious that you go out with Ana, I've noticed the whole concert how you look at her and not to mention the reference to Santorini, Ana has told us about that and it can't be a coincidence" says Alexia amused. "Well I'm not hahaha" I say and give Ana a kiss before I go to change for the after party.
Ana's fic has arrived. Let me know if you liked? The lyrics translate down below
1. Song: Santorini by Enol
https://www.musixmatch.com/es/letras/Enol-Marmi/SANTORINI-Marmi/traduccion/english/amp#view_translation
2. Song: Arrullo de estrellas by Zoe
https://lyricstranslate.com/es/arrullo-de-estrellas-stars-lullaby.html
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emeraldgreaves · 8 months
Text
hozier: sensing only now it's dying, drying out then drowning blindly, blooming forth its every color in the moments it has left to share the space with simple living things, infinitely suffering, but fighting off, like all creation, the absence of itself—
hozier: anyway
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leatherfaceish · 1 year
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FATAL ATTRACTION HOTLINE
You fall victim to a hotline serial killer on campus, unbeknownst to you that it’s your classmate Mickey attempting to fulfill his desires.
RATING — MATURE & EXPLICIT PAIRING — mickey altieri x gender-neutral! reader GENRE(S) — drabble, ghostface! au, 1997! au, stalker! au, college! au, crime, smut, thriller WORD COUNT — 4k WARNINGS — mature content, heavy (seriously) dark humor, intense situations, manipulation, weapon used: knife, petname used: baby, humor towards suicide as a distraction, dumbification, stalker! mickey, mickey is an ass, reader dies btw SMUT WARNINGS — sexual content, dub-con (consent is given), prey/predator dynamic, biting/marking, dry & clothed handjob, unprotected intercourse, creampie, double orgasm, spit as lube, hair-pulling, dark! mickey is basically feral for you RELEASE DATE — APR 13TH 2023
AUTHOR’S NOTE — i think this is the most fucked up thing I've written to date, and yet it's kind of tame? lmao but the reader's entire thought process being like "i want to see how this ghostface FUCKS." absolutely took me out. and i wrote it. also yes i changed the title because i’m worried this site will have a field day with this one.
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NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | FEEDBACK
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“Calling at such a late hour?” The robotic voice seemed to lean into the microphone, almost cackling at the time you’ve dialed the hotline written on the bathroom stall. “You must be desperate.”
"When was the last time you felt something?" Your finger tapped at the numbers on the wall, the stall seeming to fit you just right in the moment of your weakest. "Like really—feel."
"Jumping head first into the suicidal thoughts tonight, aren't we baby?" Their voice made your heart nearly skip, but the tears along the corner of your eyes were hot enough to keep you grounded.
"I'm serious." 
"So am I." It felt like a joke to them, your brow furring and teeth gritting almost seeming to be heard by them over the phone. "Did you even read the message on the wall?"
"The writing?" You questioned, eyes finding the marker written words along the wall again. "It's fading."
"It's been there for a few years now."
A junior, or a senior.
"Do I really need to tell it to you straight? Can't you read it for yourself?" You could hear the smile on their face by now, even if a box that changes their voice was held over their lips.
You wanted to speak every syllable you could make out before they could say anything else, but they were already ahead of you.
"A disclaimer from left to right: A sexual experience that ends in demise. One you'll never forget, and no one else will either!"
You sat quietly, reading along with them until you realized just what you had called into. From first glance, the number seemed to be from someone who had once been in your position. Sitting in the abandoned dorm's bathroom stall crying your eyes out, up to your neck in the negatives of life and school, and so miserable that you just wanted one person to speak to that understands.
"I didn't read that part." You spoke just above a whisper.
"Let me guess: You thought this was just a suicide hotline? Someone to listen to your problems and give you advice or the answers you're looking for, maybe even some hope?" They couldn't hide the laughter in their voice, almost cherishing your innocence and stupidity. "Someone who would make you leave the call feeling better about things?"
"Is that not what you do?"
You could hear them losing their patience, the huff before they spoke seeming to make your head rush. "Read the fine print again."
Sexual. This hotline was for sex. But why was suicide mentioned?
"Are you a guy?" The question to you seemed so small and quick, but they weren't playing short.
"Is that your preference? Men?"
"Why do you ask that?"
"The sexual part, baby." Their voice didn't grow faint for a second, almost as if they held the phone even closer to the voice box to make things more apparent. "It's the 90's, you could be into anyone these days."
"So, you are a man." A conclusion, and his laughter on the other end.
"I can only provide dick. Such a shame, isn't it?" You almost couldn't help the cackle that left you, his interest peaking.
"Why were you crying?" Finally, he seemed sincere.
"Bad day."
"One of many in this school."
"You're a student?"
But his shortness made itself up in other bits—like now, when he ignores your dig into his personal life.
"Do you understand who you've called?" He seemed to teeter on his sanity, voice raising a volume higher than before to make his point. "What I am going to need from you now?"
"Don't hotlines have consensual guidelines?"
"I'm no normal hotline." His teeth sounded gritted, his patience leaving him fully. "You dialed the number." His voice returned soft, his sing-songy tone almost mocking. "You even pressed the dial button. And here you are, clueless."
"C-Clueless? How does this even work? You feed some sick person a bunch of nonsense until they do what you ask?"
"Have I asked you to do anything for me?"
You almost had to rethink the entire conversation, but he had never truly pried so much. Even now, minutes into the conversation, you could hang up and move on. Maybe even call a real hotline.
"Let me guess, you're considering hanging up?
"What if I do?"
"That would only piss me off, baby. Think harder. How can I be so sure of this working?"
Your mind was blank, only listening to his robotic voice in your ears like a guide.
"I don't understand."
"Sex for a faked suicide." He cackled, speaking slowly. "That's who you called. You set yourself up, all because you want to die so badly. Wouldn't you prefer to go out shaking and orgasming than cold and lifeless?"
"How do you know what I want?"
"Sitting in that lonesome bathroom crying all night isn't going to solve any of your problems. But talking to me, letting me take control of your life and your fate could." He spoke rapidly, like gun-fire—as if he had been waiting a long time to say these things to someone who was dumb enough to call. "Stall three from the door, right?"
The conversation turned predatory, his voice growing darker and shorter as he spoke on.
"Look at that—" He said the three words just above a whisper, your shaking body listening like the world was in slow motion. "I can even see your shoes beneath the door."
It was a dream, you felt like you weren't conscious as you noticed the swaying black dress cut roughly at the end. One that of the grim reaper, or better known to your town as the outfit of the Ghostface killer.
"P-Please…"
"Please what?" You could hear his grin, could feel his energy through the door and through the mask he wore like it was a fire. "Tell me what you want, baby."
"I-I can't…"
"Want me to make it go away?" His voice returned to the annoyed tone it sometimes held, a tilt of the Ghostface mask letting you see the white face through the crack of the door towards side of the lock.
"How?" Your voice was a whisper, but in such an empty space, the bathroom seemed to echo the word off every wall.
"Tell me you want me." His voice was stern. "Tell me you want me to do it."
"I-I want you to—" Your voice shook. "d-do what?"
"To fuck you. And then to let you go."
Every racing thought has brought you here. Every mention of wanting to end your life, negative thoughts in your mind like they lived there—it all carried you to this one, unhinged solution.
"And if I say no?"
It was the loudest sound in so long, the clash of the pager against the crack of the door where you could once see his mask peeking through. Even with a squint of your eyes, you knew the phone number across the screen was your cell number.
"I know who you are." Another smile behind his mask, a hefty breath through the voice box, and the killer seemed to be in heaven. "I'll kill you either way. So, why not agree to the fun part?"
The tears falling down your face had grown hotter as you shook in fear, splashing onto the tiled floor of the old bathroom in tandem with a dripping faucet. As everything grew silent, and your mind fell even quieter—you spoke.
"I want you to do it."
"Where do you want it done?" That rough tone again, he wanted quick answers.
"I-In my dorm."
"Live alone, huh?"
He pulled the pager back, slipping it into his pocket and pressing his hand against the lock of the door to feel the coin-slot ridge. All it needed was a turn, and then you were all his.
"How do you like to be fucked?" This was clearly his favorite question, a light tone of excitement in his voice as the dark eyes of the mask peered through the crack of the door once more.
"D-Deep. It's better that way." You spoke in cut words, still shaking as you heard his breathing stutter from what you said. "I like to feel e-everything."
"Everything?" He repeated, only the question was rhetoric. "I'll make you feel everything."
And there it was again, that rise in his voice that told you he was up to something. With so little words being spoken, you could only make out his movements—and without skipping a beat, you knew just what he was doing.
A clean knife prodded into the line of the lock outside of the door. A safety feature added to help those outside get in when necessary, even if it was against the safety of the one inside. You could hear the sharp object click in, turning until you saw the lock slip from inside the wall back into the door. And just as the thin door squealed open, you found yourself face to face with death.
"This—" The robotic voice was somehow louder with the door open, a short step into the single stall making you shake more from his presence. "isn't your dorm room, is it?"
Your head shook rapidly, going along with what he said in order to not cause any harm to yourself. You wanted to scream, every fiber of your being truly wanted to—but you knew the knife in his hand would slice your throat with ease if you did.
With every sexual experience comes the part where your stomach is twisting in anticipation, such as now.
"Then let's go there, shall we?" He spoke kindly, a façade making your body ache with the idea that he's not all that bad, as he offered you his gloved hand.
The fabric of his glove was thick, enough to keep blood or any liquids from soaking in and staining. Your hand cupped his palm, his fingers taking hold of yours with a tight grip. Just as it crossed your mind again, that he's not so bad, your neck was met with the sharp metal blade.
"This is how this goes. We walk out, hand-in-hand—all romantic like—and we make a b-line for your dorm room. Any attempt to run or get help, and you die on the spot."
"O-Okay…" The knife trailed the skin of your throat, begging to press into your flesh and retrieve some reaction from you that's pure pain. But the man seemed to linger his touch lower, his free hand falling upon your waist like it had been there before.
He was stern, uncaring of your tears being wiped away by your own touch, and most certainly rushed as he pulled you forward at a fast pace. "Good."
You had almost forgotten the journey you normally made out into the abandoned dorm. Lined off with caution tape, and only one door that allowed you in and out without being seen—the eeriness of the building being so quiet and stuck in time was just as scary as the killer walking you along its halls.
"Take it easy." The voice box over his mouth seemed to click with his words, sounding faulty as he pressed you forward and out the door of the old building. "This won't take long."
There were thumps and bumps all across the ground as you walked by housing holding sorority parties. The man's grip tightened every time you walked by someone. Anyone getting particularly close made you cling to him in a loving way. Anything to make you appear normal. Anything to keep you alive right now.
"Walk slower." The louder music was coming from your own dorm, a party that had started long before you made a move to the abandoned dorm still going strong. "Costume party. What idiots."
He was right, a sea of costumes immediately melting the two of you into the party like you had been there the whole time. From pulls on your waist, to jolts of your body forward to rush you into corners, you had finally gotten through the most packed floors and into your dorm room.
The cool air made your skin rush with goosebumps, a moment in time seeming to stop everything as you spun to face the masked man. He was skilled, clicking your door shut and locking it—all with the knife he once held to your throat returning to his hand.
You could hear his voice box click, hear the thumping of your own heart in your ears almost louder than his voice.
"This is where you want to die?" He asked, pointing the shiny knife at your small bed in the middle of the room. "Right here? On your own blankets?"
You bit at your tongue, eyes growing glossy as he took a step towards you every time he spoke. It wasn't until he was right in front of you, the faintest hint of his cologne moving into your nose, that you could even comprehend what was happening.
Tears seemed to pour slower, but your body needed more air. You seemed to stifle, sniffling in deep breaths and trying to swallow it all down into your lungs as fast as you could.
One sniff, and you felt nothing. Another, and you smelled something familiar. One more deep breath, and that hard-to-miss smell of someone you know finally broke through.
The white mask was tight on his head, held in place as he tilted his head slightly in curiosity. Your sniffling had stopped, glossy eyes matching with what would be his glowing brown irises within the eyes of the mask.
"M-Mickey?"
He didn't move. He didn't have to. It was simply meant to be—that you found out.
"Now you really can't live after this, baby."
He spoke with such confidence, his knifeless hand raising the Ghostface mask up and off his head until his chiseled face was in your view. His wide teeth, fang-like canine in your sight, and it was truly your fellow student Mickey Altieri.
You took in his clean appearance, the sweat dripping down his temples and jawline from the thick mask he had worn for nearly an hour now. His outfit was just the same as the costume shown on the news for the last few years—banned, then unbanned, and now favored by many.
"I finally got you right where I want you." The man had a squeak to his voice when he was excited, a Cheshire grin on his face. It all made sense now, how you knew his emotions even without being able to see him before.
You wanted to breathe, suck in his scent and reassure yourself that he would never do something like this. The lighthearted film major with an affliction for gore and horror—you should have known he was a red flag deep down.
But his lips attached to your own, moved to taste you with his tongue and suck the oxygen from your lungs like he could steal your soul that way. His lips tasted metallic from the voice box that had been pressed against his mouth most of the night. He swayed you side to side until his arms were wrapped securely around your waist and there was no way you could leave him.
And when the breath was finally returned to you, you could truly see the craziness in his bright irises and blown pupils.
"Tell me you want me." His lips pecked at yours between his sentences. "Tell me you want me to fuck you. Just like before!"
His pink tongue poked out between his lips to press into your skin, lapping at the dried and salty tears along your cheeks all the way down to your collarbones. There, you felt his teeth. Pearly whites leaving a small bruise on your neck as he awaited your magic words.
This was it. There was nothing you could think of past this. And there was no running far enough away from him.
"M-Mickey." He halted at his name being said slowly and softly, his eyes turning warm as they peered up at you from below your chin. His gentle smile, the one that made your heart skip a few times before you knew he was capable of this, it still gave you butterflies. "I want you to be the one."
"Oh—" His body language was confused, but his eyes were wild. Looking between your gaze and the mark he left on you, you could see him hesitate from reaching to grab his knife and cut you right there. "Oh—fuck, I thought I'd never here you say those words."
His hands were shaking, leaving the thin fabric of his costume where he rubbed his sides to grab hold of you again. His fingers were tight against your clothing, pulling at whatever he could get off of you right then and there.
It was his sense of giddiness that almost made you forget he planned to kill you afterwards. How his tongue stuck between his aligned teeth every time he saw more skin. The animalistic sounds he made as he licked and kissed at you until his weight pressed you into the mattress.
"You taste just how I imagined." The man cooed, losing all of the cool and collective he once had with his voice box.
His hand slipped down, the knife covered by his costume now poking into your side as he felt at the wetness growing between your legs. His coated fingertip raised towards his mouth, your juices making his eyes clenched shut in euphoria as he moaned.
You didn't want to admit that his fingers dipping back down against you felt good, or that how he appeared now—so out of his mind from your taste and your unclothed body beneath him alone—made your head spin. The man had been tailing you all along, stalking you until he knew what headspace you were in, that you would soon call his hotline and make yourself his victim.
It was meant to be creepy, but as his hand took your wrist and pressed your cupped hand against his hard length—you couldn't regain the sense to feel scared.
"Look at what you do to me." His head hung, eyes staring at you darkly as he used his fingers to press your hand into him until he was grinding against your touch. You could feel the stain of precum spurting through the fabric of both his underwear and the costume, sucking in a deep breath when you felt him twitch when you rubbed him on your own accord.
The man was going insane—even if he was already previously. 
"I want you." He groaned, his weakened neck laying his head onto your shoulder as you kept your rhythm against his clothed cock. "I want to feel your insides."
"Then why don't you?" He hissed at your words, his hips thrusting into your hold until he was rutting against you. If he didn't slow down now, he wouldn't fuck you like you want him to. "Mickey."
His name made his hips stutter and stop, eyes finding yours again. It was almost like he forgot why he was here, so drunk on you that he just wanted to fill you up. You could see him waver, bite down on his tongue, and then be sent into overdrive.
Mickey moved quickly, pulling at your hips until your body was facing flat against the mattress and your head was buried against your pillow. You could hear his costume being ripped in certain places, feel his body heat closing in on your backside—but what was most appalling was the feeling of his fingers pulling your underwear down your legs until they hung at your ankles.
It was almost rewarding, feeling his tip at your wet entrance. The saliva from his mouth had drooled enough onto his fingers when he was collecting your wetness to add to it all, and every inch of him that slipped into you made a squelching sound.
"Fuuuck—fuck, fuck, fuck!" His words got louder and louder, his cock being held by your walls trying so hard not to fill you with his cum just from one pump in. Mickey was at a loss, your body heating up just right until your warmth made him feel alive.
"This is what I wanted." His motion to pull out was cut off by his tiny rut back into you, just a small feeling of needing to fuck you fast dissipating when he remembered you like it rough. His head fell into your neck when he slammed into you harshly, feeling you clench around him like never before. "This is all I wanted…"
"M-Mickey." You cried with his words, short but sweet to him as he filled you up only to pull out and thrust back in with such vigor that your entire bed was shaking. "Do what you want to me, Mickey."
His hair was a mess, the discarded Ghostface mask being shaken off the side of the bed from his hard thrusts and landing on the floor going unnoticed by the two of you. So lost in each other, everything seemed to slip away.
If only he had you sooner.
The hand at your waist lifted, the weight of his body holding you down into the mattress and giving him enough space to fuck you deep and fast. You could hardly form words, and he couldn't make any other sounds except moans.
It wasn't until his free hand pulled at your hair, enough to raise your head to let you speak, that you remembered the entire premise of this transaction.
"Do you like me now?!" He asked with a boiling anger in his voice but a rumbling orgasm approaching. "All those times you turned me down. And you could have had this."
"I-Is this how you do it?" You spoke through broken cries and gritted teeth. "You wait for some poor girl to call your hotline, whaling into the phone about wanting to die. All so you could talk her into letting you fuck her first before you kill her?"
"The perfect way to die." He groaned, pressing himself deeper into your walls as they clenched around him sporadically in the race towards your orgasm.
You could feel his hot seed start to fill you, his thrusts running messy just as your body shook and went firm. Orgasms taking over both of you at the same time, you wanted nothing more now than to find a way out of this.
"Mickey?" His hand was still in your hair, but your head had fallen back onto the pillow. "I-I just—"
Your skull felt his strength, head lifted back up from the cool pillow with the sharp knife on your throat once more. You could feel drips of blood falling down your neck and staining the pillow.
"Just want to stay alive?" Mickey had returned to his unhinged stature, almost as if it had never left him for a second. "Baby, baby, baby." He cooed, his thumb pressing into the side of your cheek with his fist that held the knife. "I got my end of the deal…"
"Please—"
"You've gotta get yours." The knife was piercing, the blade having been recently sharpened finely until it could cut through almost anything. As you felt more blood leaving your neck, you could hear his soft voice in your ears—almost as if he were God himself speaking to you during your final breath.
"And just so you know—" There it was, one last time, that huge Cheshire grin in your peripheral. "You were my first."
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© leatherfaceish — all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, repost, or translate any of my works without my permission. do not post my content on other sites, especially claiming them as your own! reblogs and feedback are seriously appreciated <3
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idiasmentalhealth · 5 months
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GOD DAMNIT
MY HOZIER OBSESSION IS GOING TOO FAR‼️‼️‼️
I AM NOW LINKING MULTIPLE HOZIER SONGS NOT ONLY TO KURAS AND LEANDER BUT TO GRIM
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SO I'M GONNA TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT SONGS ARE REMINDING ME OF HIM BECAUSE THE BRAINROT FROM FINISHING MY FIRST PLAYTHROUGH IS VERY REAL
there's so many...
cut just so the post doesn't look too long
OBVIOUSLY THIS ONE HAS TO BE FIRST SUNSHINE.
"But whose heart would not take flight?
Betray the moon as acolyte
On first and fierce affirming sight
Of sunlight, sunlight, sunlight"
"Once I had wondered what was holdin' up the ground
But I can see that all along, love, it was you all the way down
Leave it now, I am sky-bound
If you need to, darling, lean your weight to me
We'll float away, but if we fall
I only pray, don't fall away from me"
THE WAY I HAD TO STOP MID PLAYTHROUGH TO PLAY THIS SONG ON REPEAT AND THEN CONTINUE
"My life was a storm, since I was born
How could I fear any hurricane?
If someone asked me at the end
I'll tell them put me back in it
Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah
If I could hold you for a minute
Darling, I'd go through it again, ah, ah"
AGAIN WITH THE LIGHT
"Could this be how every day begins?
The sky set to burst
The gold and the rust
The colour erupts
You filling my cup
The sun coming up
Like I lived my whole life
Before the first light"
psychopomp... get it cuz he's... the grim reaper...
"The feeling came late
I'm still glad I met you
The memory hurts
But does me no harm
Your hand in my pocket
To keep us both warm
The poor thing in the road
Its eye still glistening
The cold wet of your nose
The Earth from a distance
See how it shines"
"Some part of me must have died
The first time that you called me baby
And some part of me came alive
The first time that you called me baby
These days I think I owe my life
To flowers that were left here by my mother
Ain't that like them, gifting life to you again
This life lived mostly underground
Unknowing either sight nor sound
'Til reaching up for sunlight
Just to be ripped out by the stem"
"When you move
I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be
When you move
I could never define all that you are to me
So move me, baby
Shake like the bough of a willow tree
You do it naturally
Move me, baby"
and last, but certainly not least,
"I didn't care much how long I lived
But I swear I thought I dreamed her
She never asked me once about the wrong I did
When my time comes around
Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth
No grave can hold my body down
I'll crawl home to her"
118 notes · View notes
eleganzadellarosa · 7 months
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pairing: vampire!au, kyungsoo x fem!reader, dom!kyungsoo x sub!reader, kyungsoo x virgin!reader, Prince!Jongin x reader
genres: smut, angst
words: 14.8K
warnings: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT, MINORS DNI [masturbation, slight spit play, face sitting, squirting, unprotected sex (wrap it up fr), biting kink, pet names (darling, princess, love, baby),choking, oral (m and f receiving), fingering…etc.],cheating, blood (this should make sense)
author's note: I got tired of there not being enough Kyungsoo smut (to my knowledge anyway. If you have some recs, please do share) so I decided to write my own. Plus the teaser pics for cream soda did something to me and I needed to express it through writing lol. There's some plot but we're all here for the smut, and trust me it's smutty. So please enjoy, tell me what you think and thank you for reading <3
part 2 can be found here
Tomorrow was a special day, a day that you longed so earnestly for. Prince Jongin would be visiting again and with the amount of times he’s come over, a proposal was definitely underway. Jongin was a dream come true, the epitome of the “perfect husband". He possessed qualities that one could only ask for while on their knees. From his looks to his status, he was desired by many, yet his heart only yearned for you. It made you blush just to think about everything and how much of a blessing it truly was. The man was gorgeous, from his sun kissed tanned skin, to his tall frame and toned body.
But his physical appearance had nothing to do with why you fell head over heels for him. He was kind, sweet and gentle, something that most suitors only faked while courting their potential spouse. You’ve heard the stories and how many women lost the love for their husbands within the first couple months of marriage only to be stuck with bearing their children until death did them part. That wouldn’t be you though because that wasn’t Jongin--he was different. His personality was genuine and it was apparent from head to toe.
3 months in total counted for the amount of days that he’s visited which was considered standard courting practice for your time period. Your parents loved him and your heart skipped a beat whenever he was close. You wanted no one but him and you knew he felt the same about you. The time drifted by way too slowly and as you lay awake on your bed, your mind ran at 100 miles per minute. Scenario after scenario about how tomorrow would go kept you occupied until your mind finally relaxed enough for you to drift off to sleep.
“Wake up...wake up! It’s half past eleven!”
The sun shined brightly through the window across from you, violently pulling your heavy lids open. Your body tries to coast back into its peaceful slumber, but the person shaking you vetoed your plans. Your eyes once again opening to find said person extremely close to your face, making you immediately sit up as if you were already fully awake. It was Vivian, your servant, but you didn’t like to call her that because she was much closer to you than someone who would do whatever because of your superiority over them.
You were an only child, so she has been the only one around your age for as long as you could remember. She’s the daughter of a previous servant that once lived here but she died before you or Vivian were older than newborns and your parents were kind enough to let her stay instead of leaving her in the hands of an orphanage. You pitied her but she hated when you did so you tried not to show it, but you knew how hard it must have been without a mother. She never admitted it but your family is the only she’s ever really known so she didn’t know what to miss.
“Hurry, you have about 30 minutes before he gets here and you still haven’t bathed!” she says as she tugs at your arm, slightly pulling you off the bed. As much as you thought about him last night, you almost forgot who was coming today. You rushed off into the bathroom, where Vivian already had your bath set. She made sure to add some rose petals to your water, ensuring that your smell would linger every time you passed the prince by.
She left the bathroom after making sure everything was just right to give you some privacy. The bath relaxed you, maybe a little too much and the moment you stumbled into dreamland for the second time this morning, there was a knock at the door. Vivian came rushing in, towels in hand.
“He’s here! Get out right now, you still have to get dressed! And why are you so tired?!”
"I stayed up all night thinking about today, I couldn't help it!" you pouted as you reluctantly stepped out of the tub.
She shook her head while chuckling and pushed you out the bathroom door.
Your heart beat so fast it felt as though it would break through your rib cage at any moment. You both quickly rushed into your room, ready to choose the perfect outfit for today. Being aware of his love for soft colors, you opted for a powder blue peasant cut dress and white corset. You styled your long black tresses in a half up half down style with curtain bangs. The accessories were simple; dangling pearl earrings and a pearl hairpin to match. You weren’t one to wear makeup, but today being the special day that it is, powder set your face and a rose balm on your lips complimented your slightly tanned skin. You stood from your place at your marble vanity and did a small twirl for Vivian to assess the final look. Before she could speak, there was a knock on your door.
“Princess, please come down to the main hall and greet Prince Jongin, he has arrived.” The familiar voice of the butler spoke on the other end of the door. The anxiety began to swell when everything set in but you couldn’t let your emotions get the best of you. Feeling anxious was pointless anyway because you’ve met with Prince Jongin multiple times, but for some reason there was suddenly a heaviness in the air that made your stomach churn. She gives you a nod of approval and you both make your way out the door to head downstairs to greet your guest.
As you walk down the imperial staircase, you see two faces; one familiar and the other not so much. You curtsy in front of Jongin and he takes your hand in his, placing a small kiss on the back.
“It’s a pleasure to see you again Princess. You look gorgeous as always.” he says smiling.
You return his smile and compliments but can’t help letting your gaze fall on the unfamiliar man standing feet apart from him. There was something in the way he stood, something in the way he looked, something you couldn’t put your finger on, but there was something off about him.
“Oh yes, please excuse my manners. Allow me to introduce you to my servant, Kyungsoo. A man of few words, but loyal nonetheless. You shall be seeing him a lot more often I hope?” he says insinuating that you accept his proposal; one which you’d be stupid to refuse.
Kyungsoo bows and makes his way over. Studying the man in front of you, he’s clad in a white blouse, the first three buttons unsecured so a small amount of the skin on his chest shone like the moon peaking out from the clouds. Black slacks, black dress shoes and then three dainty gold necklaces don his neck. His hair was also black, tousled perfectly in an elegant manner. A handsome man indeed, you had to admit, and the sense of mystery surrounding him had you staring for a lot longer than you’d have liked.
He stared back awaiting your move so he may properly greet you, yet here you were stuck, trapped and falling into his deep black orbs. There was a feeling there, something different from when you looked at Jongin. Like the pair whose love was forbidden yet the two couldn’t stay apart. The love could not be portrayed in plain sight but the tension between the two created a impenetrable force field.
Vivian clears her throat next to you which snaps you out of your thoughts. You curtsy and offer your hand to him who gently takes your hand in his. He also places a small kiss on the back, yet he doesn’t break eye contact. The small action making your breath get caught in the back of your throat.
With him being so close, you could smell the fragrance that wafted your way. It was breathtaking, like nothing you’ve ever smelled before. It was so perfect that it seemed to come from his pores, pheromones clouding and intoxicating your judgement.
“The king said he would be waiting for us. We should not keep him any longer.”
The statement from Jongin makes you avert your eyes from Kyungsoo and he removes his lips from your hand. He made your knees like jelly and your heart race a marathon. Your guard was down and you allowed yourself to fall prey to the subtle seduction.
Lunch in the banquet went quite well. Laughs, clinking wine glasses and cutlery colliding with the china filled the large space. Every once in a while those sounds were replaced with sips, breaths and sighs. You caught Jongin stealing a few glances your way when you moved to tuck your bangs behind your ear, making you blush every time. In the meantime, this is what kept your head on straight and you had almost forgot he brought his servant along, until he came in with Vivian to announce that dessert would be served shortly.
Having Kyungsoo in your presence made your posture straighter, if that was even possible. Everything about him made the hairs on the back of your neck erect. You shakily reach for the wine glass in front of you and knock it over, the red liquid spilling onto your dress. You gasp and quickly stand up from your chair and dab the area with the spare cloth from the table. You look up to see all eyes on you and you mentally slap yourself for the embarrassing act.
"Are you okay Princess?" Jongin asks, walking up to you with a fresh cloth.
“Yes, thank you. I must excuse myself, I would hate for my suitor to see me in such a messy manner.”
“Please, do not worry about such trivial things. I will be here when you return so please take your time.”
You smiled and bowed your head before heading toward the exit, Kyungsoo’s eyes never leaving your form. It made your body shudder. For what reason did Jongin bring him along? He was usually by himself but this time he brought his plus one. Was he to act as a test for your loyalty? You would have to keep your eyes on any tricks that he may try to play, you would hate for the prince to back out on the proposal because you couldn’t contain your newfound lust for his servant.
By the time you finished changing into something that wasn’t stained with wine, it was announced that lunch would be ending early. It felt like your fault even though you knew there must have been another reason. Dessert was the only part of the meal that would be missed so it was not that big of a deal.
You searched around for Jongin only to find that he was with your father in his study. A guard blocked the door and informed you that their conversation was important and the king ordered they were to not be disturbed. You thanked him for the information and tried to contain the giddiness you felt rising in your chest. They could only be talking about one thing and you hoped you were right. As you turned on your heels to leave, the guard cleared his throat.
“You did not hear this from me, but Prince Jongin will be staying with us until Sunday.”
Although surprising, it was a logical decision since the journey back for him was quite long and the day was almost over. By the time dinner came around, he had excused himself and settled for a nap instead, further confirming the trip was taxing. You wanted to bring up their conversation over the meal but you knew your impatience would only irritate your father, so finding out would have to wait. If only waiting wasn't so hard.
After dinner, you made up your mind to get ready for bed early so you would have all your energy for a full day with Jongin tomorrow. You enter the bathroom and undress in front of the tub, throwing your worn clothes to the side not caring where they landed. The water was warm yet kissing the temperature of being too hot, but it relaxed your muscles which was much needed after feeling so tense for most of the day. You cup your hand to gather water and run it down your body, taking deep breaths and closing your eyes, the scent of lavender floating through your nostrils.
"Princess..." an unfamiliar voice making you jolt, your eyes shooting open. There was no knock on the door or sound of the door opening. You turn around and see Kyungsoo standing not far from where you were. You quickly sink further down into the tub in hopes that the water would cover your breasts.
"Sir Kyungsoo…what are you doing here?" He walks closer to the tub which ultimately causes you to try and back up, only resulting in your top half being exposed. You quickly cover your chest with your arms and your heart rate flies through the roof.
"Prince Jongin told me to come and check on you and to also see if you needed assistance with anything. Miss Vivian was very kind and told me where you were, although I suspect she didn't think I would be entering. And please, no need for formalities, I’m but a mere servant.” He ends his sentence as he sits on the edge of the large tub. He runs his fingers through your bath water and scoops some up in his hand, your eyes following his every movement.
“You don’t have to be so tense around me darling, I won’t hurt you. I give you my word.” As you look up at him ready to deny his claims, the water he stored in his hand cascades down your back making you gasp. He repeats the action, this time letting his hand run down the damp skin. “I thought your beauty had limits”, he gently grabs your chin with the same hand and leans in closer to your face, “but here you are proving me wrong”.
Not trusting your voice you stayed silent, mentally punishing yourself for letting him get away with this. If he hadn’t been holding onto your chin, your jaw would’ve fallen slack. Your arms were already at your sides when his gaze travels down your body and land on your chest and hard nipples. His tongue peeks out from inside his mouth to wet his lips, and it immediately sent tingles straight to your core. He looks back up at you and smirks before standing and exiting the bathroom.
On the outside of the door, his chest heaved. He suddenly felt restricted in his loose clothing. He leaned his head back against the door and ran a hand through his hair. “What in God’s name am I doing?” he thought. He was unlike his normal self, reserved and respectful. You were doing things to him, taking his control away from him. You were the puppeteer manipulating his movements. You were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on and don't get him started on how lovely you smelled. He cursed his heightened sense, only making it harder to resist you. He knew of the intensity of your relationship with Jongin; yet he wanted to snatch the man's happiness away.
He didn’t believe you could be as perfect as Jongin described you in his many stories but seeing you today made him realize they did you no justice. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. The way you moved, the way you spoke, the way you dressed. Each and every thing about you had been perfectly molded by God himself, the only reasonable answer for such a beautiful being. He wanted you, and seeing you in your most vulnerable form in the bathtub made his pants a little tighter.
He knew what he was doing to you, how his actions had heavy consequences on your body. He wanted you enamored, wanted you within his grasp. He fell for you as soon as his eyes met yours and he knew he would do whatever it took to have you. However, he knew of the possibility of that never happening especially since he held onto a secret that only a small few had knowledge of, and that included Jongin.
You hadn’t noticed you were holding your breath until the door shut and the air filling your lungs makes you cough. This man was unpredictable, risky and for your own sake, it would be best to avoid him as much as you could. Your plan to stay grounded against any foul play went down the drain when he got close to you. You hoped everything you felt was all in your head and the consequences weren’t a heavy burden to bear.
For the rest of the evening, any thought of what happened earlier you tried to shove to the back of your mind. It was becoming hard to not think of the man the more you would occasionally pass Jongin in the halls. He still had your heart but whenever you crossed paths, your mind was never on the man in front of you. Instead you seemed to look through and around him wondering if his shadow would be following closely behind. This disappointed you as he was never to be found and you couldn’t help but wonder why. Alas, you were too nervous to ask and truthfully you had no reason to, especially when the man passing you by in the corridors would claim you as his any day now.
“I hope you sleep well Princess. I am grateful to be given the opportunity to see you again in the morning.” Jongin bows and walks past you, down the hall and into his room for the night.
You offered him a small and respectful smile and couldn't deny the warm and tingly feeling you felt when he spoke to you. You sighed deeply knowing that the next few days would be hell with both men in your home.
Midnight soon came and you went into your room to change into your pajamas. You opened the armoire, one that matched the marble pattern on your vanity. An ivory, satin nightgown would be perfect for tonight's weather and also with how warm your body felt. You flopped onto the bed and covered your face with your hands before letting them drop to the sides of your head. Today had put a lot of stress on your mind and rightfully so. Having this strange and beautiful man around had your mind doing mental olympics. "I thought your beauty had limits, but here you are proving me wrong" that line played in your mind over and over and never failed to confuse your heart more each time.
Memory of the way he touched you replayed on loop. The words to stop him were stuck on the tip of your tongue but deep down you wanted him to continue and that's what made it scary. You loved Prince Jongin and your answer to whatever question he had would always be an immediate yes, still you couldn't take your mind off of Kyungsoo. The way he licked his lips as he scanned your body, his touch making you gasp, just everything about his entire being was starting to make you feral even though you only met the man today. Your hormones were getting the best of you and you blamed it on your period possibly arriving soon. The more you thought about him the more the throb between your legs became increasingly obvious and it begged to be touched.
Jumping up and carefully locking the door, you returned to your bed to get comfortable under your blanket and remove your panties. This was so unlike you, but the thought of him sent fire through your veins and there was no other option to satisfy the agonizing thump. Starting with larger circles, they quickly turned into smaller, concentrated ones as you settled into the new feeling. You continued to rub your clit and the slick from in between your folds coated your finger. You wanted more, no, you needed more and the only way to ease your arousal was to insert a finger. The feeling was definitely foreign but it helped alleviate some of the pressure that didn't seem to go away with your earlier actions. The image of Kyungsoo licking his beautiful plump lips popped into your head once more and a small whimper slipped past your lips.
Slightly startled, you quickly sat up and looked around as if there would be an audience watching you touch yourself. You've never once worried about the sound travelling throughout the castle but even if you did it would be useless. The castle wasn't small and with the old stone walls, no sound would penetrate its forces. You settle back into your spot and finish what you started. Knowing no one would hear you, Kyungsoo's name rolled off your tongue as you moaned. You added another finger and began to thrust into yourself faster, back arching off the bed. It didn't take long before the knot building in your stomach snapped and you released your juices all over your fingers.
You lay there in awe of the new sensation, a sheen of sweat dancing across your chest and forehead. Whatever control you believed you had over yourself was snatched away from you in the last 15 minutes and it would be safe to think you'd never get it back. You reach for the handkerchief on your bedside table to clean the mess on your fingers and between your legs. The guilt washed over you when you finally laid your head on your pillow. Your loyalty knew no bounds but now you questioned if it was ever one of your qualities. The thought of Jongin finding out what you did tonight made you cover your face in embarrassment and curl your body into a ball. What if he didn't want you anymore, what if he could tell that your mind hasn't been on him since you laid eyes on Kyungsoo? What would he think of you?
Kyungsoo also had no luck with getting you off his mind. He stood with his hands gripping the sink, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, wondering if the man on the other side was still him. It was becoming too difficult to keep his urge of releasing all the pent up feelings while he was all alone. He thought of how the droplets of water glimmered against your soft and supple skin. He imagined you moaning his name when you gasped at his touch. Every thought sent blood right to his lower organ. It was painful, the way it pressed against the fabric of his pants as if it would break through any second.
He reached down and palmed his erection through his clothes, grip on the sink getting tighter. His breath quickened as he moved his hand faster. It felt good but still wasn't enough to shake the thought of you. He pulled the zipper down along with the waistband of his briefs just enough so his dick popped free. Concentration deep within his brows as he focused stroking his length as if he was within your velvety walls. He felt it, the feeling of ecstasy building up waiting to explode. A few more pumps and he came in his hand, moans hidden behind the lip caught between his teeth. It wasn’t until his lip fell free that he noticed the drops of blood coming from it.
Another look in the mirror and he saw just how much of himself he let go. Piercing red eyes and fangs to match. This was dangerous, you were dangerous. He would never be able to keep his secret to himself with you around, but he craved you. He so badly wanted to have his dick buried deep inside you and his teeth sunk into your skin. It would be euphoric and if he didn't get it, he might just wish for death.
Breakfast the next morning was quite large given that there were extra guests but sometimes you thought it a waste since the abundance of food left over could feed a whole village. As you entered the great hall, you scanned the grand area in search of Jongin. He wasn’t here and you wanted to be courteous and wait for him before you touched your food. You spot Vivian on the other side talking to Kyungsoo and your curiosity got the best of you. Jealous wouldn’t be the right word to use but you felt the need to go over and cut their conversation short no matter how important.
You wave to Vivian as you close in on the pair and her eyes light up when she sees you, making Kyungsoo turn around. He bows and you extend a curtsy.
“Prince Jongin will be here shortly, he’s just having a slow morning so please do excuse him.” Kyungsoo looks at you as if to watch your face for any changes.
“That’s quite alright, you both must be tired from your long journey yesterday. I have no problem with waiting for him.”
He smiles softly and excuses himself, walking toward the exit.
Vivian nudges you and leans in when he's no longer in sight. "Is it just me or is something really weird about him? Or...maybe it's just because he fancies you." her voice being a mere whisper, inaudible if you hadn't been so close to her.
Your head whips in her direction, "Nonsense! He does not! But yes something is very different about him and I'm not sure how one would describe it."
"You may not think so, but I definitely do. He watches you every time you're around. He pays no mind to anything else going on around him and he looks at you like you're rations on harvest day."
You wanted to call her delusional but you knew of the interactions you had with him yesterday and you could never muster up enough courage to tell her about your conflict. As the hopeless romantic she is, the situation would excite her but she would tell you to think logically and remember how much you love and waited for Jongin. Maybe that's what you needed, someone to tell you that it was stupid to even think about someone else. Not now though, you would do everything in your power to deny the feelings budding for the new man and focus solely on your suitor.
Breakfast was served and your stomach grumbled the second the variety of aromas caressed your nose.
"Good morning Princess, I hope I did not make you wait too long. I would have rushed here sooner if I knew you were already present."
You turn to look in the direction of the voice. Jongin stands before you and you offer him your hand. He kisses it and you give his a light squeeze. "Please do not worry about such things my prince. I did not wait long but would have waited longer if you needed.
He smiled brightly hearing you call him "your prince" for the first time and admittedly it felt weird to you even though it left your mouth with ease.
After the meal, everyone returned to their rooms to await the next. You laid on your bed while indulging in your favorite book. There was a soft knock on your door.
"Please come in" you say, shifting your weight from your stomach to your elbows to gain leverage and look in the direction of the door.
To your pleasant surprise, Jongin enters with a bow. You quickly stand up from your bed and run your hands down your dress to straighten it out.
"Oh! Prince Jongin, what brings you here?"
"I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk in the garden with me? I love to take walks around noon, the sun is at its highest then."
Perfect timing. This is what you needed, some time completely alone with him so you had no other distractions. "I would love to, I will be right down."
A big smile paints his face and he releases a breath that was anxiously waiting in his chest. "Take your time, I will meet you outside when you are ready."
To say the garden was huge was an understatement but it was the perfect place to relax and unwind. Jongin offers you his arm to hold while you two take the stroll.
"Is the sun too bright? I can ask Kyungsoo to bring an umbrella if you'd li-"
You tighten your grip on his arm slightly startling him, "No no, it's perfectly fine! The rays from the sun are healthy in small amounts and it feels great on the skin." The excuse was corny but it was the best you could come up with.
He offers you a warm smile and extends his hand in front of you as a way to say "lead the way". The last thing you needed was for Kyungsoo to come and ruin this time with Jongin. If the man you had your arms locked with right now knew of the exchanges with his servant, he would probably look at you in disgust. You were going to pass this test one way or another.
Thankfully Kyungsoo was the last person on your mind the entire time. The prince lead most of the conversations but you didn't mind, his voice was just as attractive as the rest of him and seeing him laugh so freely was like a breath of fresh air.
He gave you butterflies and to think that he wanted to marry you and no one else, made you feel like you were on cloud 9. You didn't give much thought to what your husband would look or be like when you were younger, but if you did, you know he would fit the description perfectly.
"We must head back now, it will be time for lunch soon and we wouldn't want everyone looking for us. But before we go-" he pauses as he brings a hand from around his back to reveal a pink rose.
You gasp in delight and grab it, fingers brushing against his. Courageously, you stand on the tips of your toes and place a small kiss on his cheek. "I love it so much, it's beautiful! Thank you."
Although he tried to hide it, the obvious blush on his cheeks told you just how much the kiss excited him. If you wanted to keep the other one off your brain, things like this would have to be more frequent. You didn't want to come on too strongly but there was no denying how much he loved you and you had to do whatever it took to keep your feelings in order.
Now you were curious what he spoke about with your father since he still hadn't proposed. Was he rethinking his decision? The thought made you nervous and wondered if everything Kyungsoo did was simply a test and Jongin knew about it all. It would be futile to ask him now especially if it meant opening a can of worms; you definitely weren't ready for that conversation.
After lunch, Vivian dragged you to her room to interrogate you.
"How was your date with Jongin? Did you hold hands? Did you kiss him? Tell me everything!"
You chuckled at her straightforwardness. "It was amazing! He's such a lovely person, I could hear him talk all day. And...maybe I did kiss him." You had to quickly add more to your sentence before she screamed "But only on the cheek, nothing serious!"
"Oh how great it must feel to have two men longing for you at once." She clasped her hands at her chest and looked up as if she were imagining it.
Your smile dropped. "Vivian again with this? He doesn't like me, I'm just new to him."
"If you saw him today, you wouldn't be saying that." She tilted her head and looked off to the side.
Suddenly your interest was piqued. "W-what do you mean?"
"I mean, he looked like a dog who lost its master. The entire time you were out with Jongin, he walked around aimlessly like he counted down the minutes until you returned. I have seen my fair share of people in love and he's definitely one of them. He wishes he was Prince Jongin, I can see it in his eyes."
You had thought about it and on multiple occasions within the past two days. What would it be like to have Kyungsoo wanting to spend the rest of his life with you? Would you want the other instead? It felt selfish thinking about something like this when Jongin was so nice to you. It felt inconsiderate to think that the thought of Kyungsoo was the one to send you over the edge when you pleasured yourself at night.
You would talk to him tomorrow you decided. You needed to know the intent behind his actions and would politely ask him to keep the relationship platonic.
After bathing, you returned to your quarters. Tonight's attire was a white, sheer, long nightgown that was maybe a bit too sheer to even be considered clothing. You hop into bed and lay on your back, relishing the way the silk sheets felt against your skin. The feeling sent shivers down your spine and memories of your orgasm coaxed you into wanting another. You tried to compel the idea to the back of your mind, but unsuccessfully so when you remembered what Vivian said about Kyungsoo. You spending most of the day with Jongin equating to nothing in this moment. Remembering how disappointed he looked when you waited patiently for Jongin at breakfast. And his voice. It was so deep and sultry, every word laced with passion and you wondered what it’d be like to have him whisper in your ear. He was too intoxicating.
Succumbing to the growing feeling between your legs, you reach under your nightgown and start to rub your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. The initial feeling makes you squirm in place, closing your legs to add to the friction. One finger, then two gets inserted and it quickly turns into you riding the palm of your hand when you curl your fingers upwards to hit the gummy spot that shortens your breath. Whimpers turn into moans and before you know it, Kyungsoo's name is rolling off your tongue again like it's the only name you know. You speed up and right before you can reach your climax, there's a knock on your door. Quickly sitting up and adjusting your appearance, you rush over to the door to open it. You peek around the door, shielding your body as best as you can from whoever awaited on the other side.
It was him. The man whose name you were just moaning like crazy. Your face instantly turns a shade of red when you realize that he could have heard you before he knocked on the door. Angling your body further away from the door, you stare at the man a bit longer before he decides to speak up instead.
"May I come in?" He waits for your response which felt like an eternity. “You seem…busy? I promise it will be quick.” He says slightly pushing the door to allow himself in, becoming impatient with waiting for you to speak up and afraid someone would catch him.
It was the embarrassment and the way you had no strength to debate that made you back away and allow him to step past the barrier of your door. He closed it behind him and leaned against it. It was then that he took the time to realize your almost naked frame in front of him.
He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to attack you then and there but there were more important things at hand. You noticed how his eyes traveled down your body and you finally became conscious of your scantily clad figure, quickly covering your chest with your arms, forgetting that left your bottom half exposed under the sheer gown.
"What is it that you need Kyungsoo? Perhaps we can discuss this in the morning?"
“No! No…it can’t wait. I have to tell you how I feel now before I go insane.” You look at him confused, heart racing the more he spoke. “You’ve been driving me mad since I’ve first laid eyes on you. You’re more perfect than words can describe. I hate myself for not believing Jongin when he would come home and brag about just how pretty you were. I know you understand how I’m feeling too because even now you look at me with an indescribable want in your eyes.”
He walks closer to you and lets his hands rest atop the arms that cover your breasts. He moves them away from your body and lets his hand travel down your right arm, stopping at your wrist. He brings the hand up to his mouth and sucks on the two middle fingers. His eyes close and he lets out a low sigh.
“And with the way you moaned my name while riding these fingers, there’s no denying my existence ignites you from within.”
He looks to you expecting you to prove him wrong, to tell him he had no business confessing his feelings for you when Jongin lay his head a few rooms away, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t acknowledge that his feelings were invalid and not mutual. So when he leaned in closer, you met him halfway and allowed him to connect his lips to yours.
The kiss was needy and filled with hunger. His tongue swiped your lips asking permission and you opened your mouth giving him access to explore you. He wraps a hand around your neck, squeezing the sides lightly and drags his teeth over your bottom lip making you whimper. He begins to pepper light and gentle kisses across your law line and down to your neck where he nips and sucks on the skin. Tongue sliding across your jugular, a moan escapes your lips. He continues his abuse on your neck and brings his hands up to cup your boobs. He massages the flesh, hands dancing across the skin in search for your nipples, pinching them when he finds them. He suddenly halts his movements, cupping your chin in his hand looking at you for what felt like a millennium.
“My love if you want me to stop now, tell me. Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop.”
You grabbed his hand and looked at him with hooded lids, eyes filled with lust.
“I don’t wish for you to stop and I don’t wish to regret this moment.”
His lips are back on yours, this time more passionate and filled with love. He kisses his way past your neck and down to your chest. He goes to suck on your nipple through the thin fabric, massaging the other between his fingers. There was nothing you could do to hold back your moans and he loved every second. Just as you were about to lock your fingers in his hair, he stops and pulls you in the direction of the bed. He sits down on the edge and pats his lap.
"Come here." he says pulling you forward to straddle him. His hands travel up your thighs and settle on your ass, massaging it as he looks back up at you. "Would it make me selfish if I said I was jealous of Jongin even though I have you here like this?" he says pecking your lips after every couple of words. "You were on my mind all day, I couldn't contain myself. I had to come taste you, I wouldn't be satisfied any other way." He moves your hips to grind on his lap and your head falls back as you moan.
You couldn't let him take over just yet, you wanted a clear mind but with the way he had you feeling, you would bet he cast a spell on you.
"If I said you were, then I'd have to call myself something much harsher." You say through broken and choked moans.
Leaning back, he pulls you up so that you now sit on his chest. "I want you to sit on my face, I need to taste you now before I lose my mind."
Hesitant at first, you couldn't shake the thought of suffocating him. He had gained your trust in the short amount of time though and everything else has felt great so far, so you expected he had already weighed the pros and cons.
As if reading your mind, he pulls you up higher on his chest, “I’ll be okay and you'll feel good if you listen, I promise."
You hover over his face for a few more seconds before you lower yourself onto his mouth, your thighs resting on either side of his head. His licks a long stripe from your entrance to your clit and your hips buck involuntarily. A low breathy moan comes from the both of you. He wraps his hands around your upper thighs to stop you from moving. He laps away at you like a parched dog, making your toes curl. You tangle your fingers in his hair to try and regain your control only to fail miserably when he dips his tongue inside. A loud moan escapes you and you can feel him smile against your heat.
"Kyungsoo p-please, it's too much!"
Of course he doesn't stop and instead rubs circles on your clit with the pad of his thumb. At this point your brain was fuzzy, no thoughts running through it. A few more licks and sucks on your clit and you become undone, cumming all over his tongue as you scream his name. He continues to lick to let you come down from your high and then quickly flips you so that your back is against the bed, his chin glistening with your juices.
"Open your mouth, see how fucking good you taste." Not caring about your image anymore, you open your mouth to allow him to dribble the mixture of his own saliva and your essence down your throat. "Swallow."
Not giving you time to process, he dips down to kiss you, the rest of your fluids spreading over your lips. He brings his hand back to your pussy and uses his fingers to tease your folds.
"You're so wet for me baby, is this how badly you wanted me?" You nod as he brings you back into a kiss, easing one of his fingers in. You felt so good around his fingers and he could only imagine how you would feel once he finally got his dick inside. For now, he wanted to take his time and feel every inch of you. "Come here. I want to feel your mouth on me, see how good your throat feels."
You sit up on your knees and see that he's already removed most of his clothing except for his shirt. You look down and see his dick hard, tip touching his belly button. He was big, bigger than you expected but you've also never been with a man like this so there was nothing to go off of as reference. He positions himself back at the edge of your bed and you sit on your knees in front of him.
He tapped on your left cheek, "Open. Tongue out."
Following instructions, he tapped his length on your tongue, precum leaking from the tip. Everything about this felt sinful and in truth it was, but it was exhilarating and you craved the adrenaline rush. Maybe it was the way he looked at you or the way he handled you, whatever it was, it was becoming poisonous. He sat back on the palms of his hands and you took it as a sign to do whatever you wanted. You've only seen things like this in the books that the maids kept hidden in their belongings; you and Vivian sneaking to read them when no one was looking. You had no idea what you were doing but you knew you wanted to make him feel good.
You lick from the base to the head, seemingly doing something right because he hisses and bites on his bottom lip. You kitten lick and place a light kiss on the head before taking his length in your mouth as far as you can go. He hits the back of your throat, making you gag.
"Good girl. Fuuuck...just like that." he reaches down to grab a handful of your hair but not to force you back down. He so badly wanted to buck up into your mouth but didn't want to hurt you or cum too quickly.
You bob your head and hollow your cheeks, sucking as much as you can before easing your way back down. His eyes are closed and his head is back, veins straining in his neck. You brought a hand up to stroke whatever didn't fit in your mouth and the grip in your hair got tighter. Seeing him like this boosted your confidence and also made you wetter. You were testing his self control and if you kept this up he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going too far.
The muscles in his thighs were starting to tighten and he knew he was close. "I don't want to come just yet, I want to be inside of you." You let go of his dick with a pop, eyes watering and saliva trickling out the side of your mouth.
He pulls you back into his lap and into another heated kiss. Without the barrier from the clothing, the skin to skin sent your mind into a frenzy and it made you throb in anticipation. You mimic what he did to you and dragged your teeth across his bottom lip, earning a deep groan from him. He breaks the kiss and once again lets his lips travel to your neck. He trails the kisses up your jaw and bites your earlobe.
"Would you like for me to fuck you so hard you forget your own name?", his breath is warm against your ear and you were sure you made a wet spot in his lap.
"Please, I need you. I can't take this anymore." You could feel him grow harder beneath you when your begging came out more like whines. He roughly pulls back on your hair, exposing your neck to him and he doesn't miss the chance to suck harshly and almost leave hickeys behind. You moan and grind your hips on him, making him curse under his breath. "Please Kyungsoo, I need you. You make me feel so good, I want you so badly."
He stops his attacks and lifts you off his lap to throw you back onto the bed. He hovers over you staring into your eyes deeply. "Are you sure you want to continue? We don't have to."
You were past the point of questioning if you wanted him anymore and you weren't going to pass up the opportunity after getting this far. You wanted your first time to be with someone you chose and right now that was him. "My heart would never forgive me if I said no and I'm not one to not give it what it wants."
He smiles and kisses you once more, "I'll go slow my love, I'll take care of you." He eases his way inch by inch, making sure to give you time to adjust to his size; constantly watching your face for any signs of discomfort.
He was stagnant, not minding that you took your time to get comfortable. You were thankful it didn’t hurt as much as everyone made it seem but knowing the circumstances in which you were doing it, only made it feel like the punishment would be stronger.
You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. "Kyungsoo...I want to feel you now."
His pace started slow and steady, ensuring you didn't feel any pain even though you gave him the okay. When you lifted your hips to meet his thrusts, that was all it took for him to speed up. His rhythm is relentless, but you didn't want it any other way. The feeling was beyond words and if there was a way to pause time in this moment you would have done so.
"Look at me while I fuck you. Close your eyes and I'll stop" he says, holding the back of your head so you could look at him. Keeping your eyes open was easier said than done when they closed every time he thrust back in. Every moan you tried to hold back, forced its way past your lips. "Let me hear them, let me hear how I make you feel."
He tried to keep it together, but the way you were clenching around him, he wasn't going to last much longer. It all felt like a dream and it started when he walked through your door. He didn't plan on this but hearing you moan his name before he knocked and seeing the way your fingers glistened when they wrapped around the door only corrupted his thoughts.
"This pussy is mine, tell me it's mine. Tell me you want me to fuck you like this forever."
The combination of him fucking you so deeply and the way he spoke to you made your head spin and you knew your orgasm was approaching for the second time tonight.
"It’s all yours Kyungsoo! Fuck me like this forever, make me yours forever!"
You didn't think it was possible, but his thrusts felt deeper and harder. His head went down to your chest and he sucked a red spot in a place that only he’d know. The blood rushing to that area had him thirsting for more and before he let his teeth break the threshold, your walls fluttered around him violently.
You were sure you saw stars, your legs shaking. It took a few more thrusts from him before he pulled out and finished on your stomach.
Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"
It was a close call at most or perhaps it was a sign that he was letting his guard down too much. You were pushing him to the edge of insanity so much so that the side of him he spent so much of his life trying to hide was easing its way to the forefront. If he wanted you to trust him, he could never let you know of the real him.
"That was the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life." It came out almost monotonously but you had no strength to put more feeling behind it.
He smiles and reaches to your bedside table for anything to clean the both of you off. In contrast to how he was a few minutes ago, he was extremely gentle as he wiped the mess you created. Watching him made your heart flutter, more than it did when you were with Jongin. Oh no, Jongin. He hadn't crossed your mind since your walk in the garden with him earlier. The guilt came flooding in and it made you feel sick to your stomach. You were supposed to be marrying Jongin, not Kyungsoo and now with what you've done, you feel like you've ruined your chances of that ever happening.
Kyungsoo notices the shift in your mood and pulls you into a hug. "What's wrong my love? What is weighing heavily on your mind?" he asks, placing a kiss to the crown of your head and small strokes to your back.
"What about Jongin? How will I ever marry him after what we've done tonight?"
He stops rubbing your back, making you look up at him. "I will not be informing him of what happened tonight. It doesn't matter who you marry, you're mine for as long as we live."
You push yourself off of him, "How would that even be possible? I cannot have these relationships coincide."
"He doesn't have to know, and he won't. I can't let you go now that I have you. I want you and I will always want you till the day I die." He cups your face in his hands. "Even if I have to wait 100 years, I will never stop loving you."
Spending this night with Kyungsoo made you unsure of what you wanted, but you definitely weren't sure if what you wanted was Jongin anymore. You wanted to marry him but thinking of being able to have Kyungsoo whenever you wanted him made your heart beat with excitement. The thought made you feel like a whore, but you never meant for any of this to happen. Kyungsoo was irresistible and thinking back on it, he was also very sweet and caring. There was no way you could marry Jongin and be with Kyungsoo, without him or anyone else in your castle finding out about it. All of it was too confusing but for now you wanted Kyungsoo as much as you wanted to marry Jongin, you just wish there was a way to make both things work.
The following day Jongin was stuck to you like velcro which you didn't hate but him being around meant that Kyungsoo was around too. You couldn't help but feel guilty and now there was no reversing it. You didn't regret your night with Kyungsoo but it only complicated things more. Every touch or glance in your direction from Jongin never went unnoticed by him, and he watched you like an animal would stalk its prey. The eye contact was another thing. Each time your eyes met his, it was like reliving your moments with him in your bedroom. You felt your face and body heat up and you prayed the blush didn't show on your cheeks.
It also didn’t help that he looked extra good today. Instead of a blouse, he wore a black vest over a white button down, a single chain accentuating the breast pocket. It fit him so nicely and complimented his wide shoulders.
Jongin sits up in his seat and leaned over the table, resting his head in his hand. "I'm going to go horseback riding, would you care to join me Princess?"
"Sure, I would love to. I haven't been riding in some time though so my skills may not be to your liking."
"Ah well, you can ride on my horse with me if that is best. I wouldn't want you to feel as though you're a burden, even though you truly wouldn't be."
You nod in agreement although you weren't really sure what you just agreed to with feeling Kyungsoo's eyes piercing the back of your skull. It drove him crazy to be this close to you and not be able to touch you. After last night he wasn't sure how he would live without you and tolerate seeing you with another man. Jongin didn't know how good he had it, he could walk around with you freely and not be judged. That's what Kyungsoo wanted, you all to himself. You were his, not the property of a prince. He reluctantly followed the both of you outside and awaited his next order.
“Kyungsoo, do you mind helping the Princess with her boots while I go get my things? I want her to be as comfortable as possible.”
He bows his head lightly and grabs the boots to put on your feet. You take a seat on the small bench between the tall, green hedges that lined most of the garden. He kneels on one knee in front of you and places your foot on top of his thigh. Jongin was barely out of eyesight when he lifts your dress high on your legs. You shoot him a shocked look when you feel him pepper kisses up your inner thigh.
“K-kyungsoo, w-what are you doing? Someone will see…” you try to push his head away before you lost yourself in the feeling. He didn’t take heed to your warning and nipped at the soft skin, letting a moan rip through you. He keeps his eyes on you the entire time. His dick can’t help but twitch watching the way you try to keep your composure and with knowing how easily you can both be caught at any second. He wastes no time to push your thighs further apart while dragging his nails down your other leg.
“P-please, not now. Not here.” was all you could manage to say while trying to stay coherent. You wanted to scold him for being so bold but every time you felt his mouth get closer and closer to your clothed heat, all thoughts of reprimanding him left your head.
You look down to see his eyes on you and seeing him so content between your legs did something to you. He hooks his fingers around the fabric of your panties and pulls them to the side to give himself better access. He licks long and achingly slow stripes through your folds. You had lost the battle of trying to keep yourself together and already had one hand tangled in his hair.
You bit down on your other fist to hush the sound of you moaning but the more he ate you out, the louder you became. As if he knew you wouldn’t be able to control your volume, he slips a finger inside and curls it upwards, hitting the spot that made you weak. At this point you were riding his mouth with the way your hips bucked up against his face. He added another finger and sped up the thrusts. He switched between sucking on your clit and fucking you with his fingers. You were so close now that you could taste it, however he suddenly halted his movements and quickly slipped on both of your boots. You open your mouth to protest but he gives you a look that kept your lips pressed together tightly. He fixed your dress and licked his lips to rid himself of any evidence that he just had his face nestled between your legs.
Jongin returns mere seconds later with a saddle nuzzled under his arm. “Are you okay Princess, you look a bit flushed? Are you feeling under the weather?”
Embarrassing was an understatement and knowing you were in a noticeably messy state, brightened the blush on your cheeks. “No no, I’m alright. Perhaps I should start wearing more sunscreen?”
Your answer seemed to satisfy him as he offered his hand to you to lead you toward the stables. You look back at Kyungsoo who bows as Jongin takes you further away.
Jongin had frequented the palace enough to have claimed one of the horses as his own. It was a beautiful black Friesian horse he named Trophy. When you entered the stable, the horse began to whinny seemingly knowing of Jongin’s presence. He offered it pats and rubs over its head and body before placing the saddle on its back. Making sure it’s secure before hopping on the horse and grabbing your hand, letting you sit in front of him so that he had complete control.
You were practically sitting in his lap with how close he was. You thought you would be behind him and find security in holding onto his waist, but the tables were turned and his arms rested on either side of you as he held onto the reins.
“Are you comfortable Princess?” he looks from around you, almost resting his head on your shoulder. It made your heart flutter and in the moment you wanted to turn your head and lock your lips with his.
“Yes, thank you. Are you comfortable as well?” You heard the smile in his voice when he agreed to your question.
“Please let me know if you need me to slow down or if you’re ready to return.” And with that he snapped the reins and the horse was off, slowly walking out of the stable.
For the remainder of the ride you couldn’t help but notice how good of a horseback rider Jongin was. Every move that he made was precise and calculated and it was like the horse was made just for him. The more the horse picked up speed the more Jongin would rut against you from the force of the gallop. The constant friction was starting to turn you on and you could only imagine what went through his mind behind you.
Although wanting to turn around and straddle him, you were having fun. Horseback riding used to be one of your favorite pastimes and now you wonder why you ever stopped. It was the adrenaline that came from the speed and the wind that blew through your hair that made you feel like you could do it all day. He made Trophy come to a halt and you took a look at your surroundings. It was an area that you’ve never seen before and you questioned whether you were still within the kingdom walls.
“Oh my, this is breathtaking! This doesn’t even feel like home.”
“But it is, it’s just very far away from the palace. I learned about this place while out on a ride and it’s been my favorite to visit ever since. I can bring you here often if you’d like?”
You nodded and he helped you off the horse. It was like a mini oasis within this small forest. The trees were all covered in fresh blooms, a waterfall flowed down into a midsized pond which held some of the clearest water you’ve ever seen.
“Do you like swimming Princess? We can take a quick dip before returning.”
You quickly nodded and a smile lit up his face. He took your hand and lead you closer to the edge of the pond. He began unbuttoning his sky blue blouse and pulled it over his head, revealing his toned abs. You knew he was fit but never knew just how sculpted his body was. Seeing him like this made your insides stir, not dismissing how you finished undressing him with your eyes. He guided you into the water slowly and never took his eyes off you. The water sloshed around you both as you moved further in, your dress already soaked from your waist down. He let go of your hand to give you more freedom and you immediately submerged yourself to drench your entire body.
When you came up, you playfully swatted some water on him causing him to chuckle and mimic the action. The splash fight continued for a few minutes before you both grew tired of clearing the dripping water from your faces. He swam closer to you and grabbed you by the waist. He looked down at you, a mixture of love and lust in his eyes. Looking at you for a few seconds more, he dipped down and placed his lips on yours. His lips were soft and he moved them in such a rhythmic manner, much more innocently than Kyungsoo. You bring your hands up to cup the back of his neck and deepen the kiss.
He pulled you into him some more and slid his tongue over yours, earning a moan from you. He kept one hand on the small of your back and the other rested on the back of your head as he kissed you hungrily. He broke the kiss, chest heaving and lips red.
“I love you” he says as if he couldn’t contain the words in his mouth. He looks at you scared as if he had made a mistake saying it to you.
“I-I love you too Jongin.” You didn’t lie when you said it back. You’ve known him for some time now and being on edge waiting for his proposal further proved just how much you cared for him. The problem now was you found yourself falling in love with Kyungsoo too which was for lack of better words, insensitive.
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I can’t wait to make you my wife.”
It was like an arrow shot through your heart as he finished his sentence. Here he was pouring his heart out to you and last night you tangled bodies with his servant whom he trusts. Your conscience scolded you and you wanted to clutch your chest to stop the pain.
“We should start heading back now, the sun will set soon.” he says already adjusting the equipment on the stallion.
Thankfully you sat in front of him so he wouldn't question the tears that streamed down your cheeks. Guilt was hitting you hard, wishing you never made the mistake but not regretting your time with his right hand man.
Kyungsoo is already waiting when you and Jongin return from the stables, his face stoic but his eyes told a different story.
“Please grab the Princess a towel so she may dry herself off, we wouldn’t want her to catch a cold. I shall be inside doing the same.” Jongin walks up to you and kisses your forehead. “I had a great time today and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”
You exchange smiles before he walks away and turn your attention to Kyungsoo whose face is twisted.
“You smell like him. Too much like him.”
"What? How?" You looked down, grabbing the closest piece of your dress to see what he smelled on you, yet to your senses you only smelled wet.
Ignoring your question, he picks a towel up from the glass table and pulls you in by your waist. Your hands fall onto his chest and he begins by drying your hair. “Why are you so wet? What did you do with him? You can see right through your dress!”
He wasn’t lying, your dress stuck to you like paint so nothing was left to the imagination. Your nipples poked and prodded their way through the material.
“We went swimming…”
Visibly annoyed, he rolled his eyes and continued drying the rest of you. The sky was already beginning to get darker with the sun declining, but it seemed darker than it should have. Large drops of rain started to fall from above instantly darkening spots on the concrete path. You look up and open your hands to catch a few. You really should get inside before your immune system gave up on you.
“I’m going to go inside.” You go to walk away but he grabs your wrist and pulls you back toward him, catching you again by the waist.
“I'm sorry but I can't help being jealous. If you can’t handle being with me, at least don’t make it so hard for me to stay away from you. You’re driving me crazy, I can’t live without you.”
It was confusing. How could your heart love someone you’ve only known for less than a week? And it was starting to become more so than the person you’ve known for 3 months. How were you to solve this matter when there was no logical answer; always concluding with one or the other?
"I-I don't know what to say."
"Say you love me. Love me forever."
His lips brush gently against yours, once again weakening your knees. You gently shove him away.
"I want to...but you know I can't."
"Hm, I understand. It's best you go in now, you've been out here long enough." He bows slightly and walks away from you. His heart ached, all he wanted was to be able to love you without consequence. He's never hated his life so much than he did now.
"Oh to be reborn again as something other than a peasant" he thinks. Better yet, to be reborn as Jongin would satisfy him the most. All he wanted was you, all he needed was you and knowing he couldn't have you had him torn between anger and sadness. He was becoming desperate now, willing to do any and everything to split you two apart. He hated that he was so weak for you, for being so unlike himself. Tomorrow was the last day of their stay and he was aware of the plans Jongin had with you.
A proposal. A promise of a union between two parties. "In sickness and in health; till death do us part", he would have to hear you say those words and see you seal them with a kiss. It would be torture but he wasn't blessed with royalty nor in a different body and this would be his punishment for letting things get so far with you.
It was late and you have long since been dry. Having taken too many sips from the glass of water next to you, it was best to make a quick trip to the bathroom before you got too comfortable in bed. A single candle in its holder dimly lit your way, your feet slapping against the cold marble flooring. Someone clears their throat softly next to you making you almost drop the candle.
"I'm sorry if I startled you princess." Jongin walks up to you, face illuminating in the small light. "W-would you like to spend the night with me? Tomorrow is my last day with you and I would love if I at least got the chance to share my bed with my future wife."
Admittedly taken aback by his request, you would miss him when he was gone and didn't get much time with him with your mind so preoccupied.
"Everyone is asleep so they won't notice."
You followed him after using the bathroom. You had never been in his room before, let alone any of the guest rooms so seeing how different everything looked made you feel like you already lived together.
He grabbed your hand and guided you to the bed and let you climb in.
"Goodnight my love, tomorrow will be a great day" he says kissing your cheek before turning over with his back pressed against yours.
You laid awake too many thoughts going through your mind to settle into relaxation. Based off of what he said, he was sure to propose tomorrow. It excited you, the thought of being a wife but also his wife. You've waited long enough to get to this point and backing down because of some new feelings would not get in your way. This was a test, you thought, and although you've failed most of it, you were going to make the rest count.
There was a shift in weight behind you and now Jongin no longer had his back pressed against yours. There was something hard pressed against your ass, you knowing what it was almost immediately. He snakes an arm around your waist and pulls you closer making his hard on settle in the crevice of your behind. You grabbed his hand that draped over your midsection and gave it a squeeze, letting him know he could continue.
He kissed his way down from your ear to your shoulder. He rolled you onto your back and hovered above you. The moonlight lit the room just enough so he could see your expression. It felt different, being under him versus being under Kyungsoo. It was like darkness and light, Jongin being the latter.
His hand ran down the sides of your body, taking his time to admire every inch. The gentle touches leaving lingering tingles on your skin. He moved back up to caress your face and finally leaned down to put his lips on yours. After kissing you earlier, he knew he wanted another, not being able to wait for the wedding day. Your lips were soft and he loved how your nose would brush his ever so slightly.
You were like a painting in his eyes, each brushstroke carefully placed to form your very image. But something changed in the way you looked at him since his stay. He had his doubts but seeing his close companion look at you the way he did, he knew there was something there. Not something like he had with you, something so much more mature and unadulterated.
He wasn’t going to let his fear obstruct his goal, he was going to marry the love of his life even if your heart leaned more toward Kyungsoo. He took this opportunity to pour his feelings into his actions and he hoped they would properly relay the message.
His hand reached under your night dress and brushed between your folds through the fabric. You bit your lip as he watched your changing expressions.
“Feels good?” He pressed down a bit harder and quickly swiped over your clit.
You nodded and reached down to massage his dick. It felt thick and warm in your hand and his eyes threatened to close from your ministrations. He discarded you of your undergarments and playfully teased your pussy. He wanted to see just how far he could go before you begged him for more. You reached under his pajamas and released his achingly hard dick from its restraints. He hissed as the cold air kissed the tip making him leak more precum.
He finally let a finger dip inside your cave and he quickly added another when he felt just how wet you were. His dick twitched in your hand. To think he would be able to fuck you whenever he wanted had him already making plans for babies.
You stroked him with both hands now, precum making it easier for your hands to glide over him. One hand reached down to cup his balls and gently roll them while the other fisted closer to the head. He was bucking into your hand, dick growing more sensitive by the second.
His fingers already started to speed up to get you closer to your climax as well. You were both breathing heavily and moaning, falling weak to the work you put into each other. His fingers curled up and hit your sweet spot making your back arch off the bed. Your hands sped up the more his did and your orgasms were approaching quickly.
“Fuck, I’m so close please don’t stop”, he pleaded with you adding his thumb on your clit to speed up the process.
Your words dissolved into the air above you as your vision started to close in. You writhed under his touch and chased your high.
“Oh fuck I’m gonna cum, please tell me you’re close” his fingers were thrusting sloppily but he felt your walls tighten, giving him the motivation he needed to push through.
Your stomach balled into a knot ready to snap and when he came down to suck on your collarbone, you moaned loudly as your climax spilled over. You squirted all over his already sensitive dick and he couldn’t hold back the cum that spurted out onto your chest and stomach.
You winced at the emptiness when he removed his fingers. His hair stuck to his forehead, face flushed red. He dropped down next to you, both of your chests heaving.
“Thank you for making this night special, I’m sorry if it didn’t live up to your expectations.”
You felt sad that he thought that way, not really knowing what made his self esteem so low. You look over at him excited to tell him how much you loved it but his eyes were already closed. You rolled over and pressed a kiss to his temple and rested your head on his chest, sleep coming to claim you as well.
You woke up in a daze, unable to tell how much time had passed. You had to get back to your room before morning came, not needing anyone to find you anywhere else. Jongin’s arm wrapped around your torso and his face nuzzled in your neck--you were stuck. You eased your way out of his grasp and tiptoed toward the door, looking back to make sure he didn't stir awake. You took a deep breath before twisting the knob as quietly as possible. The real mission would be getting to your room and not being spotted by anyone. The floor was cold and you wished you wore socks or at least something on your feet. You ran lightly and as quickly as possible with your arms being the only things that kept you warm.
You passed by a room and heard shuffling on the other side so you moved as fast as your feet would allow.
"What are you doing?"
You stopped in your tracks when you heard the voice. You knew who it belonged to and didn't have the confidence to face him. You slowly turned on your heels and saw Kyungsoo standing in the doorway of his room. He barely wore anything so his body was on full display.
"You frightened me, I'm just going back to my room."
He cocked an eyebrow upwards and stepped passed the threshold of the door.
"Going back?" He knew exactly what you meant but he didn't want to accept that Jongin would be ballsy enough to get you caught in the morning just because he wanted more time with you. Yet he knew he'd do the same especially since his heart was already starting to break into pieces knowing he wouldn't see you for a while after tomorrow. This was unacceptable and borderline unfair. “If you can enjoy getting wet with him, stay and get wet with me.”
Your mouth was dry and you truly had nothing to say. He had a way with his words that turned you into a puddle. You stared at him trying to think of something that would make him let you off the hook. He walked over and stared down at you. He leaned in to kiss you softly, conveying a different feeling than he usually does. His hand comes up to rest on the back of your head, tilting his to gain advantage. He pulls back and look at you.
"Don't leave me to deal with these feelings by myself. If I have to live with you being with him, then just for tonight let me be the only one you think of."
How could you say no? After tomorrow, you would have to act like your feelings for him didn't exist. As hard as that would be, unless you wanted to be executed for adultery, it was all you could do. He escorted you to his room and shut the door, being extra careful to lock it. You followed him to the edge of the bed, watching how he removed the rest of his clothing slowly, making sure your eyes never left him. Your eyes were everywhere, from his face, his chest, all the way down to his hardening length. He cupped your face and dragged his hands down to your neck, then to cup your breasts.
He slowly pulled the straps of your nightie down and left open mouthed kisses on any inch of skin that became exposed. Stopping at your nipples, he made sure to suck and massage them before continuing his journey down your body. Soon the gown reached your pelvic bones and he wasted no time in hooking a finger under the waistband of your panties to pull them down with the rest of the material. You were both now completely naked, skin basking in the candlelight. He pulled you onto the bed with him and sat against the headboard making you straddle his lap.
This time you didn't wait for him to make a move and kissed him with your hands linked behind his neck. His hands were all over you massaging circles into the flesh. Tongues wrapped around each other like a waltz, a work of team effort. Your body called for oxygen, the kiss becoming too intense but neither of you cared enough to let go. You took initiative to stop the kiss before it snatched the last breath in your lungs.
"Ride me." he pressed down on your hips as he ground up against your core.
You let out a shaky breath as you leaned forward on your knees and aligned your hole with the head of his dick. The stretch as you gradually eased your way down was magnificent and he bit his lip as he watched your face contort from the pleasure. The more you bounced on top of him the less he could control his sounds. The squelching noise that came from your bodies clashing only added to the vulgar sounds that filled the room. He ran a hand up your back and grabbed a handful of your hair. He tugged at it roughly and sucked and licked on the vulnerable skin on your neck. His other hand came around to grab your ass, digging his nails in and spreading it so your pussy opened more.
Your head was spinning, so much overstimulation, you knew you wouldn't last much longer. His strokes were getting sloppier indicating he was just as close.
"Fuck-I love you so much" he said through grunts. He knew what he wanted to do next based off of your response. If he were to get over you, he'd have to expose his true self even if that meant scaring you away.
"I love you too Kyungsoo~" your mouth hung open and you moaned his name, toes curling from your impending orgasm. You needed just a little more to push you over the edge.
He took that as a sign to carry out his plan. He let the lust consume him fully, baring his fangs, sinking them into your neck and not letting up on the animalistic pace he set. It was painful but it mixed so deliciously with how he rolled his hips into you. Your eyes rolled back and your body tensed up. It's what has your orgasm hitting you like a train, vision turning white. The feeling was incredible even though as you came down from your high, you can't tell what just happened.
Just the image of you in this moment could make him cum, but that combined with the taste of your blood was heaven sent. He had never had anything like it. So fresh, sweet and pure. He never thought living his fantasy would play out so soon but your reaction was even more surprising. He didn't count on you enjoying it and wanted to use it as an escape route, but here he was drowning in the sight of you cumming all over him which lead to his own orgasm. He sucked in a breath, abs contracting as he painted your walls white.
You looked down at him and couldn’t believe the astonishing sight. He looked beautiful, dashing red eyes and canines sharper than a knife. As the few drops of blood trickled from the side of his mouth, everything all made sense now. The strange man you've come to fall in love with these past few days was a vampire. It’s why he carried such a mysterious aura, why he smelled so ethereal, why his presence was so lethal.
He had you speechless and now he was even more scared awaiting your next words. He licked the remaining drops from his lips, eyes wide. “Please say something.” His eyes searched your face for anything but he couldn’t decipher your expression.
“Kyungsoo…you’re beautiful. I-I don’t know what else to say.”
Tears brimmed his eyes knowing you didn’t hate him for who he was. Though now, his ploy of using this to get over you fell through and he had nothing left to try. Truthfully he wasn’t going to try. He loved you deeply and if he had to live with you married to someone else, he would take whatever he could get. You were his forever, he would never allow himself to love anyone else. He hated that he fought for the top spot with Jongin but the heart wants what it wants and as you said to him before he wasn’t going to not give it what it wanted.
Lying to yourself wasn’t an option anymore. You thought you would be scared seeing him in his true form, but it added so much depth to his character that you couldn’t help but be attracted. You knew now that life without Kyungsoo would throw you into a deep depression. You needed him like your organs needed blood.
Morning came and you felt your eyes had only been closed for 5 minutes. When they finally opened you quickly processed that you weren’t where you were supposed to be. There was a loud knock on the door and you looked at Kyungsoo’s sleeping form next to you. Another knock woke him up and he quickly threw the blanket over you and told you to stay quiet and lay down. He put on whatever clothing he discarded last night and shuffled over to the door.
“Oh, sorry to wake you but I’m looking for the Princess, she’s not in her room and I wondered if you knew where she was but it looks like you haven’t left your room this morning.”
You heard Vivian’s voice from under the cover and cursed under your breath. You swore you would make it back to your room last night and ended up staying with the man you definitely shouldn’t be caught with.
“I will be out momentarily and I will help you look for her. Perhaps she is outside or in another area of the castle.” Kyungsoo made up an excuse as fast as his mind could conjure and shooed Vivian away. He returned to you after he closed the door and removed the blanket from your head. “They’re looking for you, you know what today is.”
You got up and gathered all your clothes before making your way to your bathroom unseen with Kyungsoo’s help. He left your room after kissing your forehead and going to tell Vivian that he “found you”.
What a way to start off your proposal day. You’re just glad that Jongin wasn’t the one running around the castle in search for you. Vivian came knocking on the bathroom door a few minutes later.
“Why didn’t I think to check here first?” She says tapping a finger to her lips when you opened the door. “Your father has requested you meet him downstairs in 10 minutes, so we need to hurry.”
After much preparation in so little time, you made your way down to the main hall to see both of your parents, Jongin and Kyungsoo standing there. You knew what this meant and it had your nerves jumping. After such a long wait, you were finally here at the end goal, something you thought to be so far away. Jongin and Kyungsoo bowed when you reached the bottom of the stairs, a big smile plastered over Jongin’s face.
“As you know, Prince Jongin has been coming to spend his hours with us over a long period of time in hopes that he would one day ask for your hand in marriage. Today he would like to go forward with that and make you his wife so long as you should accept.”
A lump formed in your throat as your father spoke. Tears fought to leave your eyes but you held them back as much as you could.
Jongin went and bowed slightly in front of your parents. “Your highness, if you would please allow me to take your daughter as my wife and protect her with my all as her husband.”
Your parents nodded their head, your mother also fighting the urge to cry. You quickly glance at Kyungsoo whose eyes were watching you. You both knew of what you had to do and would have to deal with it for the rest of your lives. So when Jongin stepped in front of you, you knew what came next.
“Princess…will you accept my proposal and spend the rest of your life with me as my wife?” He looks over at Kyungsoo before continuing. “You will have free reign to do whatever you please as long as you promise to never let your love fade.”
You gasped softly, no longer able to contain the tears. This whole time he knew of your feelings for Kyungsoo but wouldn’t let his feelings for you dissipate. You turned such a happy moment into something sorrowful unbeknownst to the onlookers.
“I accept your proposal Jongin and you have my word.”
Cheers erupted all around you and Jongin pulled you into a hug, him too letting tears fall onto his cheeks.
Your fate was sealed, destined to marry the man of your dreams while you got the dick wet of another. There was no turning back, especially not with the child brewing in your womb belonging to the man you snuck and spent your last night single with. You would have to face the burden of it all one day but as for now, you mentally crossed off today; the day you longed so earnestly for.
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starsandhughes · 1 year
Text
Penalty Box— Trevor Zegras (Part Twenty)
SERIES MASTERLIST
previous: nineteen
next: twenty-one
***I SKIPPED THE AVES GAME WHERE Z GOT HURT!!***
SATURDAY, APRIL 1ST
yourusername
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liked by trevorzegras, jamie.drysdale, and 7,632 others
yourusername welcome to my postgame penalty box update: my boyfriend tried his best edition! now, you might be thinking— “y/n, last update z was at three games since his last penalty! what happened to four?” well, my lovelies, trevor rudely DIED in monday’s game against the aves, and i was a mourning widow, so i did not post that game. he remained dead on thursday’s game against the kraken, but he finally revived for tonight’s game against the oilers!
i, and i’m sure the rest of the world, would like to forget that this game exists. but alas, we cannot, and must persevere onwards to the rest of the season! during z baby’s 19:08 minutes of ice time (second most for forwards; stromer was first with 19:48!) he did not get a penalty! he had some pretty close calls shots wise, but the oilers’ goalie was a doo doo head. z did get hit again pretty hard and had to go to the locker room, but the wind was just knocked out of him and he returned shortly after!
special notes: the broadcasters on the oilers broadcast talked about z! the conversation went as such:
“zegras leads in anaheim in goals and points this season.”
“yep. top player, he’s obviously going to be under a lot of attention. he’s a wizard with the puck on his stick, i’ll tell ya.”
“is he ever; known as the king of the michigan
shoutout to benoit and vatrano to making things interesting!! throw them hands boys!!! tank (vatrano iydk) got a penalty hatty!! comtois had to serve one of them!
p.s. stupid refs for stopped z from throwing hands with ekholm! i wanted to see it! (the broadcasters high key did, too!!)
i love you, always, z baby <3
tagged trevorzegras
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trevorzegras i love you, forever, y/n/n🧡 (sorry for dying and making you cry)
yourusername meh, i got to play nurse ;)
jamie.drysdale SHE MEANT THIS LITERALLY!!! NOT NSFW!!!
yourusername @/jamie.drysdale that’s what you think
jackhughes @/yourusername we have children!
jamie.drysdale @/yourusername we have a kid!
yourusername mommy’s a whore
trevorzegras yeah she is ;)
edwards.73 @/lhughes_06 FIX IT
lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes FIX IT
_quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 @/edwards.73 i’ve given up
user1 when your husband returns from the war🥵
user2 z praise! z praise! z praise!
_alexturcotte how much will power did it take to not post him getting hit and on his knees?
yourusername trevor had to sit on me again
jamie.drysdale and i threatened a divorce
trevorzegras both of these statements are true
yourusername it was a war zone
_alexturcotte sounds about right😂
user3 special note: z was singing along to the national anthem
_quinnhughes we’re getting close to uncharted territory
yourusername i know i’m scared
trevorzegras i’ll make it to seven just you wait
_quinnhughes i’m trembling at the thought
yourusername quaking in my boots
trevorzegras @/yourusername you’re supposed to be on my side!
_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras did you read the best friend contract? every other weekend she’s on my side
lhughes_06 lazarus?
jackhughes yes
_quinnhughes yes
colecaufield yes
yourusername yes
trevorzegras HEY
user4 tell me why z left the aves game i immediately thought of how much y/n was gonna cry
jamie.drysdale in her defense, we were all pretty worried
trevorzegras when he cares>>>🥵
user5 i find immense joy in the fact that every single nhl broadcaster agrees that z is a wizard and magic with the puck
jackhughes kindly screw up soon
trevorzegras don’t tell me what to do
yourusername excuse my boyfriend he’s a brat
jackhughes he’s not excused
yourusername see, this is why we got divorced
user6 look at the lil slut with his tongue out!
jamie.drysdale at least someone’s winning…
yourusername we’re gonna ignore the losing streak
jamie.drysdale i’m down for that
trevorzegras idk what you’re talking about. what losing streak?
yourusername atta boy
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