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sanawarr · 9 months

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A memory of love

I am here in the dark writing sonnets about you, which you'll never read. The world might realise the intensity of my emotions towards you but does that matter if YOU don't realise it? My world revolves around you. You are the sun to my earth. Which is to say that, You are the brightest star of my Solar System. You're the feeling of warmth i crave on my cold days. Is that too hard to comprehend? Can't you just love me back? I am tired of writing you letters that does not reach you. They might never will. They feel like a mosaic of my own feelings that i have for you. A memory of love. A haunting memory of love.

- Sanawar fatima saeed

#dark academia #poetry #sanawar #sanawar poetess #sanawar fatima #sanawar fatima saeed

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sanawarr · 10 months

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The beauty of silence

I was always a talkative person; i had so many stories to tell at all occasions. And i loved talkative people. Quiet people never reversed the pulsing of my heart until it was about you; everything about me changed when it was about you. I only realised the beauty of silence when i met YOU. Sitting quietly in a room with you was superior than telling a thousand tales. I had never yearned for the silence so sincerely before. I never realised how meaningful sharing silence can be. I was used to get lost in poetry but you made me realise how dreamy it is to lose oneself in silence, in YOUR silence. In a room full of noises, the serenity of your silence burned me. You tell a thousand stories with those warm caramel macchiato eyes of yours without saying a single word, in sheer silence. And i, not in my thousand lives, would desire to ruin the rhythm of it. - Sanawar Fatima Saeed

#dark academia #poeticstories #poetic stories #poetry #love #poetry academia

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sanawarr · 10 months

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Removing the veil of numbness

from my bruised heart

to let it breath

to initiate the hurt once again,

this fine June.

The wounds are old

but November is over

the hurt won’t be as intense

and in June, it’ll heal.

- Sanawar Fatima Saeed

#poetic stories #poetry #june #poetry academia #poetic #poeticstories #dark academia

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sanawarr · 11 months

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June is here and i want to lay down on the grass like a studio Ghibli movie character and look at sky for hours

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sanawarr · 11 months

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To love you is like feeling cool breeze in a cloudy summer evening/ i’m lying down on the grass in my garden and there are white candy clouds in the sky/ i can see your face but cannot touch you/ this raucous mind of mine has been quiet for a while but i still cannot stop thinking about you/ i need to express my love but there’s a lump in my throat and i can neither swallow it nor spit it out/ help me, please help me get out of this/ i am a terrible person and i am always afraid but i still love you/ how can the lover stab you in the heart and enjoy seeing you bleed?/ i have questions but i do not know who should i go to for the answers/ i tell you to please stay but you go away without looking back and that is to say, i love you. - Sanawar Fatima Saeed

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sanawarr · 1 year

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A lonely love

how do i love someone else when i know you exist in this world? even the thought of moving on and living with someone else who is not you takes my breath away.

what is the point of this love when i’m so consumed in your existence and you aren’t even aware of mine? my heart feels so lonely even in the crowded places when you aren’t around.

some love stories are just not destined to have happy endings and ours maybe one of them.

- Sanawar Fatima Saeed

#poetic stories #sanawar fatima #sanawar #sanawar fatima saeed #poetry #love

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sanawarr · 1 year

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I’m tired of this constant need of using words to express my emotions. Must i tell you that i love you to the point of death? Do you not see it in my eyes? Why are you so unaware despite my infinite efforts of showing it? Some people are just bad at expressing themselves with words. Is it my fault that i’m one of them? Please come to me and see it in my eyes. Hold my hand and let my support and affection reach you. I love you but i don’t know a better way to express it. - sanawar fatima saeed

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sanawarr · 1 year

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I knew i was different when people were putting efforts in their love life while i was putting it into my friendship bonds.

I lived a different life because i always invested my time and efforts in friendship bonds; for the betterment of them, for the betterment of us. Always telling them to study harder; teaching them concepts minutes before exams so we all could succeed together. Scolding them to get nicer partners; to look after their parents; so we all live a happy and comfortable life. Going an extra mile for our get togethers and meet ups. Correcting them in private every time they made a mistake and telling them to correct me if i made a mistake.

People say one sided love hurts. But do you know what hurts more? One sided friendships; where you invest so much of yourself and expect nothing in return except sincerity and they even deprive you of that. Everyone always teach how to move on from failed love life but nobody tells us how do we move on from failed friendships? - Sanawar Fatima Saeed

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sanawarr · 1 year

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Perhaps to love is simply to be grateful and graceful. To love is to wait and to be patient; to love is to hope; to love is to risk it all; to love is to go all in; to love is to bet everything on it; to love is to make efforts and be consistent; to love is to let them be free; to love is to be cautious, to love is to promise; to love is to be kind, caring and considerate; to love is to be vulnerable; to hold on and to let go at the right times; to love is to feel the warmth of the sun in winters and also to get burned by the same sun in summers. Love makes you soft but it also makes you harsh. And the only way through it is by being graceful and grateful among all those phases. that is the epitome of love. - sanawar fatima saeed

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sanawarr · 1 year

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Life is only the name of taking risks. To put your heart at risk by loving people, by believing in them and trusting them, by setting them free and hoping that you won’t be left alone, that they’ll see and care for your emotions, that they’ll reciprocate the energy. You often get your heart broken but there is no other side to this story. The only way you can live through is by risking it all and by hoping that it will work. - Sanawar Fatima Saeed

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sanawarr · 1 year

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Nobody understands that i love him. I love him so much. I love him more than i can ever say. I love him more than just a casual emotion.

I love him so much that i can die for him. I can kill people for him. I love him more than the greatest lover loved in the entire history. I love him more than i’ve ever loved a man.

I love him because i can’t help it. I love him because i want to. I love him because he’s so truly so sincerely himself. I love him because he taught me self love.

I love him because he’s the greatest definition of a human being that i ever came across. I love him because he’s the only person that perfectly fits my idea of love.

I love him because he’s soft, gentle, kind, caring and loving. I love him because he’s rude, straight forward and has clear boundaries. I love him because he has a different mindset and that uniquely makes him like he is.

I love him so much and i’ll continue to do so. Not because i can but because he deserves. He deserves so much of it. - sanawar fatima saeed

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sanawarr · 1 year

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I love him because he's the greatest definition of a human being that i ever came across. I love him because he's the only person that perfectly fits my idea of love. - sanawar

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sanawarr · 1 year

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I love him because he has a different mindset and that uniquely makes him like he is. - sanawar

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sanawarr · 1 year

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Building your faith is definitely not an easy journey. As your faith grows, you’ll be tested harder. You might have to give up on your biggest dream. You might get betrayed by your closest people. You might get your mental health ruined because of your friends. You might have to go through stages of fear and grief.

But at the end of the day, you know that you’ve learned a lesson through it. Even if you learned the hard way but you did come out of it stronger or wiser or the way Allah Ta’allah wanted you to be.

So if you’re going through a rough patch right now. Please hang in there. I know it’s too hard but it’ll pass soon and you’ll be happy.

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sanawarr · 1 year

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In darkness,

my hands reach out towards you

even when you aren’t there

your shadows always are.

I’m writing you letters

that i know would never reach you

and you’ll never read them.

And people call me a poetess,

when i am just a lover.

And when i wake up,

i forget my name

and call myself by yours.

- Sanawar Fatima Saeed

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sanawarr · 1 year

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اللّٰہ کرے جہاں کو مری یاد بھول جائے

اللّٰہ کرے کہ تم کبھی ایسا نہ کر سکو

i wonder how it feels like to be the only person to remember someone. how you would want to make everyone remember them but suddenly they are vanished from everyone’s memory but yours. like the world never knew them. like they were never there at first. how would it make you go crazy. how would it make you question if you’re delusional.

so the poets were right when they said;

ایک جیسا عذاب ہوتا ہے،

یاد رکھنے میں بھول جانے میں

Definitely same amount of pain for people who remember and the ones who forget. only a different kind.

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sanawarr · 1 year

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I write your name on the dust scattered on car windows. i doodle your name in my notebooks while i study. I arrange flower petals in a way that would eventually make it look like your name.

Every time i find a chance, i write your name. So the world can be filled with more of you.

Names are sacred especially when they belong to someone you love. When you love a person, there name become an emotion. The holy syllable that can fill voids inside and around you.

So i think poets were right when they said “perhaps a good amount of love is stored in names.” - Sanawar Fatima Saeed

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