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hmpink · 11 months

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Where this heart will lie

She said it hurts, and I just had to ask where, Everywhere Every cell in my body is screaming oh not for air anymore screaming for blood screaming because I bled it out screaming because they watched me bleed it out a rotten corpse a decayed beingthat's all I am for now deemed worthy of not a second of attention.

and for the next few seconds I couldnt breathe she took it all away from me and I let her for she was worth more than seconds minutes hours days years or even lifetimes could offer she was worth it all

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hmpink · 11 months

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Update on life and its miseries

After the days I've had, There's a satisfaction that comes- From finding scars on my arms A series of red stripes- I can't call them cuts. They never bled-

They're red, a consequence of a pen It always starts small While observing them for the first time after removing the ink I thought; This is just the beginning. It will get worse and it will be my revenge.

My revenge against who's act? the one who broke my heart? The one who I knew would leave from the start? or the one who was just a minor part? Of a story written by great old stars. For you never meant to be yet my heart as it is- a metaphorical catastrophe assumed you were. Foolish, now that I think to myself. Pathetic is what I keep calling myself. Human grief is the strangest feelings to ever feel, A ted talk on how your heart constricts right after, A way to soothe myself before an exam I'm bound to fail.

That's the way it is these days. I break. I try to mend. I'm forced to fend. But yesterday weren't we friends? The grief of having a good friend leave, Is simply not discussed enough- they're right.

And since they won't write, I will.

The thought of losing you made my soul ache. For it took a long time to find you. Our fates had crossed each others several times- We hadn't met, I'd only heard your name in the rumors. Until you were right there before me. We would have a shared history But God decided we both needed a story. A story that would knead itself individually, Like two arms of a sweater, at the end of the day the sweater only has one body

That was the only thing I could contemplate In order to convince myself It was a disaster meant to be because maybe we were meant to meet but never last forever No That was simply not God's plan In fact even now you could either come back in a flash or leave me to crash

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hmpink · 11 months

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The Thunder Scares Me

Today the thunder scares me, I can't tell if it's because my words from yesterday keep coming back to me, or is it like the fear of the dark was for the past couple of months for me? sudden, out of nowhere, wouldn't leave me at peace

I was never scared of the dark till I lost a forever love I was never scared of the thunder till I set myself first Somehow it's always something I never expect Something that I wouldn't expect not after spending all these years trying to figure out myself

Mostly everything has been peaceful today the first time in forever I decided to choose myself over anyone and everyone else

There's the thought that things should have gone differently. words should have been chosen more carefully. but all those bottled-up emotions- they came out in anger- frustration- it was meant to be.

You said you didn't know what to say, and I keep thinking why not? maybe you're more like me than I thought maybe you've never heard someone fell- for you for the way you were for the things you did.

oh but that's in the past- why should I dwell on it now? It'll make you feel good for partial moments before you realize "oh its no more" "her love is no more"

Back to the thunder, For a second I thought that while my hands were at work It had calmed but milli seconds later it growled fierce once more anger it screams I understand I understand.

Maybe the thunder's a friend Afterall? Maybe the fear is just a familiar feeling- Maybe the things we have in common is comfort Maybe I've never felt real comfort to welcome it now Maybe I'm scared of love when it's being served on a silver platter?

Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.

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hmpink · 11 months

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Strangeness; an old lover

The strangeness has settled in, it's filling up what was once hollow. It's like that hoodie I lost two summers ago, returning. It's like the warmth of a fireplace; with the raging snowstorm.

It's like the sweater that looked perfect on my best friend, much like the comfort in words my lover would sing, It's everything I ever needed. who knew the unknown would knead itself in? who knew the unknown would offer the sweetest sanctuary?

The strangeness is like a stranger meant to be. An old and silent decree one my heart made when it wanted to flee. from the world when it wasn't at my feet

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hmpink · 11 months

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Me and Guilt Valley

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hmpink · 11 months

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A minor mention 5/3

And so over three months I've come to conclusions The first and most important one being that with the flow of water There's not much about life I'd alter

Even when you're gone Everything simply seems to move on and it will not stop in the month of may in fact I decide on making it; just another day

For the things I want to write; in my future I would like a little mention you of you to come even if it's just a minor word even if it's not when my stanza's make sense I would like for you to stay I never want you to go away

I think I like these mornings The peaceful ones, Losing you may have not been the best resort But the people I've found overtime are all I need for now

I think my heart has fallen in love again With someone new The way he is makes my thoughts and life glow but the tragedy is; he loves another A friend I called her A friend he calls me and I wouldn't rather prefer the title of a lover

This morning I lay thinking about him I intend on treasuring him taking care of him and giving him everything I couldn't give you

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hmpink · 11 months

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As the ocean continues to ebb against my feet 5/3

As the ocean continues to ebb against my feet And as the rocks beneath Hold me to stare at the horizon Thoughts of you cross my mind But this time I safely declare they're not the only You may have called me a phony And that may have been a felony But my hearts quite happy and these days that is all that comes to matter The beat of your heart and it's presence- Is not the one I care for After you left I found my people I let them sink in I let them inside and they held me close Now I lay frozen Inside their hearts I was never meant to love anyone romantically All I needed was to love someone platonically and now I do, I love them yes; they're my best friends And for once I hope I'm not wrong when I say I would like to know them till the better end

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hmpink · 11 months

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broken heart is all that's left

I remember the last time, The thought of being in love, And how it struck, unexpected but I had enough good luck on my side enough that I let him have it all every word, every action and every flower from the beasts garden A fools errand if I may say-

I gave him every piece of me proceeded to give him every week to be in my life I had thought of many people but none like him for in the worst of times when my words refused to rhyme I recall he stood by alas I must sigh because he is no longer in sight and I'm forced to revive the memory of a love that pushed me off a great height A broken heart, one he's not here to mend A shooting star, the wishes I spend All my heart will ever intend is him and I, but a brick wall between us will stand The last time I managed to ask "stay as a friend?" but this time you'd rather be lost in a foreign land

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hmpink · 11 months

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Somewhere along the way I found myself disagreeing with the one born in May, We fought and I presumed you to be a character in a play the play of life Hypocrisy was my act and you assumed love was our stage The poets dictated our tragedy and Shakespear became my inspiration and an enemy The friend you once found in me Abandoned you midway-

There onwards I decided Revenge would be my act The heart I once had was struck with a lightning bolt It's paralyzed The fear of never going back to the stage you called love haunts me The fear of being alone for eternity Has become a strength somehow The next decade I intend on figuring out the crowd Standing amidst everyone else Identifying where my act went wrong

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hmpink · 11 months

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You come back in waves: Gentle ones Once in a while, Your stay, never lasts for even a twelfth of the day I think I can consider that progress made I came to terms with the fact that mistakes are a part of life and the delay- It was meant to be

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hmpink · 11 months

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Your face is perfect from every angle Got me hooked on your every perfection Try to run in every other direction But every path seems to lead back to you Someone put the idea of Kisses on your shirt In my head I would wear the colour red All for you Change up the pink in my life Make it a darker device Red like the blood dripping from my sleeve Red like the colour of a rose I put aside Maybe one day I’ll give it to you But till then I’ll let it sit on my desk Watch it fall apart Petal by petal Like my heart

#Your face is perfect from every angle #Got me hooked on your every perfection #Try to run in every other direction #But every path seems to lead back to you #Someone put the idea of #Kisses on your shirt #In my head #I would wear the colour red #All for you #Change up the pink in my life #Make it a darker device #Red like the blood dripping from my sleeve #Red like the colour of a rose I put aside #Maybe one day I’ll give it to you #But till then I’ll let it sit on my desk #Watch it fall apart #Petal by petal #Like my heart

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hmpink · 11 months

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And I witness the sun fall apart once more. On an autumn day with the wind so sour Hitting my bones with every breath A constant flow of highs and lows

A wind forever A wind whenever the lows break the moderate A wind for somewhere where things made sense

Once upon a time when this road went on to infinity A big word, I was stuck in a complexity, something they termed as the human mind, caged to it's awful misery

I got this idea from a friend of mine We were sitting in the park falling out behind In life we'd forgotten to see it's meaning, These are the times I started to control my breathing. Until I forgot how to, until I forgot what, till the sky went dark

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hmpink · 11 months

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I'M BACK

it's been a while cause I shifted states and let's just say TUMBLR's blocked in my country. BUT IM GONNA START POSTING AGAIN

#I'm back

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hmpink · 2 years

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I actually let this account die again- to think summer was going to be productive T_T

On the bright side though 0-0

Yeah :D

I painted 🥰🍀💫

#Paintings #random #realistic #acrylics #albums

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hmpink · 2 years

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I made another blog>

at this point i must apologize for making so many but at the same time its funnnnnn 0-0

#Book reviews #books #reviews #blogspot

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hmpink · 2 years

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EEEE okay the list is long but these are the top five: 1. Having that special someone in my life who I would kill for because the love we feel is next level intense and something I would want for everyone.

2. BOOKS reading books and more books because the things I can't have in life books literally give me all that and so much more.

3. Sitting by the fireplace with my special someone.

4. MY BED and my plushie and everything on my bed rn which includes my fluffiest pillows.

5. Making myself happy by making people happy, it's actually simple and being human in general. Like we're the best of the best might wanna take advantage of that while it lasts.

@unforgettable-sensations @alexfarnworth @voidic3ntity @tweetiewheaties @leemartenspoetry @dbaydenny @crashingwiththewaves @dirtyfilthy and anyone else who wants to join in cause WHY NOT <3

List five things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last ten people who reblogged something from you. Spread the positivity ✨💛🌻

Okay

Books

Music

Talking to my classmates and my sister

Going to school

Lakes

Imma tag them here since idk if their askboxes are open

@people-wxtching @completeanduttermess @imwastingmylifehere @elizathedemiqueen @kanej-13 @existential-crisis78 @the-desi-theyshe @priorities-as-straight-as-alec @potato-jem @becausewearetwisteddreams

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hmpink · 2 years

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I really wish people didn't sleep-

but since they do books are better, they never leave you. :)

hmpink

#random thoughts #i dont like people #books and books!

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