we made lemonade
out of your sweet words
and my bitter heart
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The danger of loving you is
time passes so quickly
I fear, I never really did love you at all.
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This winter felt more like
late summer not ending
just a lot darker
but if there is no rest
What will we awake to?
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I say to the earth
be kind to my mother,
now and later.
Louise Glück - The open grave
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But how did it occurr
that after 27 years
still - my hands turned out empty?
Was life seeping through me? or
was it not meant to be held?
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Reconciliation
Mother,
I am proud to call you
by your name again.
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I know,
I saw you in the morning
But I missed you by the afternoon
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To my father.
I'll remember you
like most do their fathers.
Absent
and then not at all.
I wish I had memories of you
(memories, other than violence)
But you never made them.
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There is
no over
: grief is
a wound
, then
it’s a scar
— Rosamond S. King, from All the Rage
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how does she do it?
break the world constantly
and yet hold (onto) it?
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I am an abandoned house
with cracks in the walls &
people fall through me
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Wir alle tragen Koordinaten der Hölle in uns.
Die Nackten - Iva Procházková (via diewoelfe)
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Du hast die Worte verbraucht
auf meine Haut gehaucht
und doch an sie gedacht
—
(Wir leben um uns zu lieben
und sinken zurück in die Nacht)
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I gazed into the ocean
deep, blue
unrelentig seawater
the tide
tugging, tugging
and I
coming, coming
And said: ok
I will let you swallow me
whole
and then
I remember:
nothing.
Until the ebb uncovered my body again
pale, lush
all stained by you.
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You ask the sea, what can you promise me
and it speaks the truth; it says erasure.
Louise Glück, from “March” (via theclassicsreader)
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An Apology
Mother, a few years back I killed the daughter I was (& bore myself again) now I wonder, will you take me back? Now, I am proud to call myself your daughter. Daughter of a woman suffering, of loss, of violence. Daughter of a woman loving, hoping, despite not knowing how. Daughter of a woman giving me the life she did not have. Daughter of a woman Daughter of a woman Daughter of a woman and no man.
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