#you get over $3k in one week and still keep it open for more. claim to be homeless and contradict that fact constantly. etc

[idiealotdontworry]

not to say things that would get me more death threats but how is emily gwen not a known scammer atp like. they get thousands of dollars every few months on ko-fi and somehow still manages to be destitute enough to beg for more money? make it make sense. why do people keep paying them to be shitty to mspec people and aspec people online?

they literally were actively hateful during the peak of acecourse, never offered an apology just 'im not like that anymore', and then turned right around and started giving bi lesbians a hard time because they think they are the sole arbiter of who gets to use a label older than they are. idc if you use their flag or like it, its a fine flag, its just colors. but you would have to be deliberately ignorant at this point to ignore this shit. even if you don't give a fuck about aspec or mspec people, you should at least care that they're constantly scamming the public out of thousands of dollars. like they're just straight up a bad person, a scammer farming other queer people for money. you should be mad about that.

that's not to mention that their friends will literally tell you to kys and send you death and rape threats if you even mildly criticize the things they still actively do. one of their friends said they would send me death threats every single day until i killed myself. like these people are dedicated to being actively hateful and vile.

i'm all for letting people move on from the bad shit they did in the past, but it's still present-tense. they learned nothing and don't care to. im sick of other queer people giving this person a voice just because they took a flag that already existed and recolored it. if you want to help queer people just donate to your local queer orgs.

#personal #no one deserves poverty obviously even shitty people. but its very clear this person is just fucking scamming people #you get over $3k in one week and still keep it open for more. claim to be homeless and contradict that fact constantly. etc #literal constant lying to make themself seem vulnerable so they can get money from other queer people who probably need it more than them #people would literally rather be scammed by an infighty asshole than stand up for ppl they think are doing queer wrong #as if that's a thing one can do

[epicsteddieficrecs]

Epic Steddie Fic Rec | April 24th-May 7th 2023

Seems like spring has finally arrived for good and I am quite happy about it :)

Complete

🖤 Swing and a Miss by deadonarrival (Baseball Player Steve, Fake Relationship | 35K | Explicit): “Apparently they usually reserve the box for the wives and girlfriends … so either you’re gonna have to be my boyfriend or you’re going to have to sit in the stands with the fans. It’s not that bad, you just need to like, pretend to be my boyfriend so you can sit with the other WAGs and like, then you can be in the box and have all you can drink alcohol and snacks.” “Did you agree to this!?” Eddie asks. “If I say yes, how mad are you going to be?” Steve asks.

the reason comes (on the common tongue) by Beachfckerblake/ @stevebckley (Post-S2, A/B/O AU | 6K | Explicit): Eddie keeps Steve from succumbing to isolation syndrome after the fight with Billy and Steve offers to pay him back in a very creative way.

lose control by NicoBloodlust (PWP | 3K | Explicit): Steve has a plan. He’s going to seduce Eddie, but like, in a subtle way. Like he’s not trying at all like it's effortless. Except he’s actually trying really hard. He wants to make Eddie want him so badly, he’ll have no choice but to do something about it.

put your wings on me by hitlikehammers (Post-S4 | 4K | Mature): “Sorry. Again,” Steve breathes out once more like it’s Eddie’s for the taking, like they’re shotgunning just the fact of life between them and nothing more; “if that’s selfish.” — Or: a story about edibles, feelings, and the butterfly effect.

a cinematic vision ensued (like the holiest dream) by fivecenturiesverse/ @fivecenturiesverse (Post-S4 | 5K | Teen): Eddie and Steve have been spending a lot of time together since Vecna. They're co-parenting kids, getting high every night, and sleeping in the same bed. They basically share a wardrobe too. He thinks this is dangerous, its like they’re married, the casual sharing of intimacy, this space between them which feels like something and nothing all at the same time. He thinks it’s dangerous for him to pretend Steve sees it the same way, that one day Steve’s droopy, kind eyes are going to see right through him and he’ll lose this. This being a side of Steve’s bed that is his, a nightstand where his rings always pile, a draw of shirts in Steve’s bedroom that only Steve uses. He can’t lose it, so he shuts his mouth, turns out the light, and watches the slow breathing of sleep fill Steve’s chest.

like, for real? by NicoBloodlust (Post-S4 | 4K | Mature): But nothing could ever prepare him for what Steve does. Because Steve, fucking- Steve stands in front of him, close, really close, and looks at him, slowly and deliberately. Eddie can follow the exact path his eyes make, to his eyes, down his nose, over his jaw and chin, and finally, his lips. They linger there and then- then Steve takes a deep breath, so deep his chest rises and brings them even closer together and, still staring at Eddie with hooded, shiny, beautiful brown-green eyes, he sighs slowly. But it’s not just a sigh, it’s a sound, an almost but not quite moan.

where it counts by Adure/ @toburnup (Post-S4, PWP | 4K | Explicit): They finish the movie and when Steve pulls away, it's like Eddie's been branded, Steve's palm permanently emblazoned on his skin through his jeans. He must notice Eddie's hard-on but he doesn't say anything. They talk about the movie while Eddie keeps the blanket piled in his lap and wills his dick to calm down. "Next week?" Eddie asks on his way out, voice clumsy, tripping between words. "Yeah," Steve holds the door open for him, smiles easily like Eddie's not holding his jacket in front of him. So fucking obvious. "Next week."

a meeting between pages by loveinhawkins/ @loveinhawkins (Canon Divergent, S2 | 2K | Teen): There’s a table in the school library that’s nestled in the corner, right by a radiator; Steve has claimed it ever since his double block of ‘private study periods’ began. And it would be perfect, if his eyes weren’t instinctively drawn to movement at the front desk.Because for the past god-knows-how-long, Eddie Munson has been in a back-and-forth with the librarian.

an unconventional lookout spot by loveinhawkins/@loveinhawkins (Post-S3 | < 1K | General): It’s a long summer’s day—August 1985, to be precise—and all Eddie Munson wants to do is leave a broken down fridge in the junkyard. “I don’t know if you can dump those here, actually,” comes a voice from somewhere above. Eddie looks up and seriously contemplates the possibility that he’s contracted heatstroke while straining to remove the fridge from the back of his van. Because surely that’s not Steve Harrington sitting up on the roof of an old school bus like it’s a perfectly normal thing to do.

in for a penny, in for a pound by crushing (PWP, Virgin Eddie, Daddy Kink | 12K | Explicit): steve and eddie have been busy wasting time, getting high and telling dirty little secrets. the biggest of which being eddie's virginity and steve's seemingly insatiable lust. and maybe the crush they're both harboring.

WIP

🖤 better by you, better than me by palmviolet/ @palmviolet (Canon Divergent, Season 1-2 | 30/? | 158K | Mature | Warning: Violence): November 1983. Between unpaid bills, the supposedly straight jock he’s seeing, and letters from his convict dad, seventeen year old Eddie Munson’s got enough to worry about. But when Will Byers goes missing, it sparks a chain of events that will show there are more depths to Hawkins — and to certain people in it, like infamous Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington — than he realizes. / or, the excessively long slow-burn in which Eddie is involved in the Upside Down from the very beginning.

🖤 Reboot by plutosrose/ @plutosrose (Modern AU, Actor Steve & Eddie | 7/10 | 27K | Explicit): In 2012, Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson film a scene in the teen drama Normal Stuff that launches a popular ship on ao3. By early 2013, they aren’t speaking anymore. In 2024, Robin calls Steve with an offer to reprise his role as Andy Hartley in a reboot of their old show, with one important update–his character gets together with Eddie’s.

In Just Seven Days by Oddree13 (Modern AU, Fake Relationship | 3/7 | 6K | Mature): Steve doesn’t exactly care about relationships anymore. Not after Nancy broke his heart and Billy broke his face. He’s bored and just going through the motions the first time it happens. Noelle asks him on Monday if he’s busy that coming Friday and Steve figures why not? He takes her to the movies on Friday, takes her to bed on Saturday, and on Sunday he lets her down gently. She takes it in stride, and the next Monday it’s Jocelyn at his locker. Then Ginny. Then Cami. Soon a rumor starts that Steve Harrington will accept anyone who asks him out at the beginning of the week and end their relationship after seven days of dating. Eddie doesn’t believe the rumors. After all, to say Steve Harrington would ignore the glaring asterisk of heteronormativity is just insane. But when he catches the King being tardy on a Monday he puts his theory to the test. Suddenly Eddie has a boyfriend for the next seven days. Now he just has to not fall in love.

No More Retreating by 3MinsOver (Post-S4 | 4/5 | 39K | Explicit): When Eddie Munson doesn’t kick the bucket in the Upside Down, he realizes there are a whole load of things he might have died without doing. And who’s there to help him out? Why, Steve Harrington, of course.

oh, just one night more (and then i'll close the door) by Smalls (Time Travel, Post-S4 Fix-It | 13/25 | 33K | Mature): Steve closed his eyes, raised a hand to wipe the tears pouring down his face, and spared a moment to wish that he could go back in time. He thinks if given the chance, he could have become friends with Eddie. That things could have been different. Then he heard a horn blaring and abruptly remembered he was driving. *** (or steve has a lot of regrets and the universe decides to let him try and fix a few)

#steddie #steddie fanfiction #steddie fic #steddie fic rec #epic steddie fic rec #steddie fanfic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things

[marie-swriting]

Last Time - Stuart Twombly

Masterlist

Romance Masterlist

Summary : You've been sleeping with Stuart since the beginning of your internship at Google. After every night spent together, he always claims it's the last time but he always comes back.

Warnings : set during the movie, hooking-up, implied smut, drinking (be careful with your alcohol consumption), nightclub and stripteasers, a bit of angst, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3k

French version on Wattpad

French version on Tumblr

Song Inspiration : This Love by Camila Cabello

You squint your eyelids as the first sunray comes into your bedroom at Google’s. You slowly raise while wrapping your bare chest with your sheet. You notice Stuart getting dressed, ready to leave like a thief in the night, again. When he came to see you yesterday, you didn’t know how to resist him even when you knew how it was going to end. Like every time. You think you’re really pathetic to let him have that much power over you.

“What time is it ?” you ask.

“6:00 A.M. I’m gonna go back to my room.” he informs you, before a silence takes place, “About yesterday-”

“It won’t happen again”, you finish with weariness, “I know.”

“This time, I mean it. If we keep doing-”

“We might jeopardise our internship. I know.”

“We’ll see eachother later, with the team, for the new trial ?” Stuart enquiries whilst scratching his neck.

“Yeah.”

He smiles at you awkwardly one last time and leaves your room, his beanie in hand. You let yourself lay down on your bed again and curse at yourself all at the same time. It’s been a little over a month since this has been happening. Generally, it always begins again the same way : you ignore each other for a few days then he slowly comes back to you and next thing you know, you’re both naked until he tells you it’s the last time. It’s like a never ending story. The more the time goes by, the more you feel like he takes you for a fool. You wish for once, he’d keep his words when he says it’s over. You can’t take it anymore. Everytime, you build up walls, trying to get used to the idea that it won't happen again but he takes a perverse pleasure to make them fall again and again. You feel like you’re just a game for him. You wish you could say it didn’t affect you that much but yet, everytime he comes back just to leave once more, your heart tightens a bit more in your chest. You’re totally overwhelmed by it. Besides, as your internship goes by, the more your feelings for Stuart get stronger to your dismay. Yet, boys were the last thing you had in mind when you came here. 

Upon arriving in the team's meeting room, you realise you’re the last one. You freeze for a second when your eyes fall on Stuart, but you act as if it was nothing. No one knows about… you two ? Well, if we can use that word to describe it, indeed despite your intimacy, Stuart reminds you often ‘you two’ doesn’t exist. You keep your pseudo-relationship a secret to avoid a weird atmosphere in the team, the balance between each of your personality and your age compared to Billy and Nick is already very fragile.

A week has gone by since your last time. You feel some relief to know he still hasn’t come back. Maybe this time he was serious about it ? You’d be lying if you said there hasn’t been an obvious tension between Stuart and you in the past few days. Albeit your team doesn't know, they feel something happened between you two, though they can’t guess the reason. Nea tried to talk to you about it in private, however you denied everything. You lied to her by saying there isn’t any disagreement between Stuart and you. After all, everything is over, what would be the use in telling her ?

You’re in your room, ready to go to sleep when you hear someone knocking on your door. You open it and find Stuart, his lips pinched together. You feel sick in your stomach, thinking it’s going to happen again like the last times.

“Sorry to bother you, my charger doesn’t work anymore and I wanted to know if you had another one or if I could use yours.” he explains, showing his phone.

“My battery is full, you can use mine now.” you propose.

You’re going to get your charger to give it to him. Though, when he takes it, he doesn’t move from your door. You raise your eyebrows, not understanding what he wants more.

“I’d like to talk to you. Maybe we could do it while my phone’s charging ?”

He gives you his cell and your charger, you go plug it and put the phone on your nightstand. You turn around and see Stuart trying to avoid your gaze. The silence is becoming more and more unbearable so you sit on your bed. You give him a look to invite him to say what he has in mind. He sits next to you and clears his throat.

“You know, maybe we should act like nothing happened. I think the others are guessing there’s something.”

“Yeah.”, you sigh, “Nea even asked me if something happened.”

“What did you tell her ?”

“That nothing happened, she was imagining things. She didn’t seem fully convinced, but she didn’t insist.”

“If it curbs our internship, we’d really need to do something.”

You nod as a simple answer. You both stay silent, not knowing what to add. You avoid his eyes at first before feeling the presence of his body closer to yours. When you turn your head towards him, you notice his lips are only a few inches from yours. You don’t even know how you got there. You know you should back up, nevertheless you feel attracted to him, in spite of yourself. Stuart knows how to bring you back to him. You have no idea if he does this on purpose or not, yet, he can make you succumb slowly again. You don’t have the time to think much longer that you fell Stuart’s lips on yours. You kiss him back as if it was an automatism. Like you’re used to, your body gets closer and closer and you straddle Stuart’s lap. He puts his hands on your hips to have no distance between you two. You feel his hands slipping under your shirt and as if it was an electroshock, you snap out of your transe and break your embrace from him. You run away in a corner, opposite from him, trying to get a grip on yourself and putting your shirt correctly again.

“You said it was the last time last week.” you exclaim, out of breath, “Is that why you came to my room tonight ? Your phone and the conversation were just excuses, weren’t they ? I’m sick of it, Stuart. I feel like this is just a game and I’m the one who gets played. You can’t leave and come back again and again. It’s hurting me.” you admit.

“Sorry, I don’t know what got into me. I meant it when I said it was the last time.” Stuart apologises with red cheeks.

“Yes, just like the time before and the ones before. I always need to build up walls and then you have fun destroying them. I’m tired of it, Stuart !” you lose your temper, “You can’t say one thing and the next time say another one. I’m lost. I don’t know how to act with you, that’s why the team realised something happened between us.”

“Y/N, I swear to you-”

“Keep your explanation for yourself.” you retort before going to your nightstand, “Take your phone back and go ask Yo-yo for his charger. Leave me alone.” you order, giving his cell back.

Stuart lower his eyes before getting up from your bed and leaving your room without saying anything else. When he closes the door, you run your hand on your face, sighing. It’s the first time you’re able to stop yourself before it goes too far. On one hand, you consider this a victory but on the other hand, he still got into your head for a second. You wish he didn’t have that much effect on you. If you could, you’d go back in time and make sure to stay far away from him. You shouldn’t have talked to him and become friends with him, you should've listened to your brain and focus on your internship.

After your last altercation, you haven’t said another word to Stuart. You try to avoid him as much as you can, despite the circumstances. Unfortunately, that night, you have to stay in his presence longer than you’d want to. Your team needs to create an app and neither of you has an idea so with the team, you’re still in your room, making knots into your brain.

The more the time goes by, the more panicked you all are. It’s the second to last trial so you can’t make a mistake if you want a job for the next year. From time to time, Billy and Nick try to propose some ideas but they have already been done. What annoys you the most in the situation is that they don’t seem stressed about the fact you got nothing. The teamworks is really complicated with them sometimes. You feel like they don’t understand how important this internship is for you. 

“You know what ? We should get out, change our mind.” Nick says without a warning.

“We need to find an idea for our app. We don’t have the time to go out.” you retort, massaging your temple.

“You’re always working. It’s not by racking your mind you’re going to find a solution, trust me.” he says before getting closer to his friend. “Trust us.”

“Alright, but not too long.” Lyle accepts, “We really need to work.”

After a meal in an Asian restaurant, Nick brings you to a bar, on the advice of a person from the restaurant. When you arrive in the place, you all discover Nick in reality made a mistake while translating. It’s not a bar, it’s actually a nightclub, like the stripteasers prove it to you. You instantly feel embarrassed, like the rest of the group. Some women get closer to you, especially to the boys. One of them comes in front of Stuart who has his nose in his phone. When he raises his gaze, he’s surprised at first, then his eyes go wider when the stripteaser takes his fingers and puts it in her mouth. You can’t help but open your eyes wide as well when you see the action. Without saying anything else, Stuart follows the women in another part of the club whilst you stay by Nea’s side.

Thirty minutes later, they’re all having fun and drinking alcohol. As for you, you stay in the booth, a drink in your hand. You don't really want to dance with Nea or see Stuart having fun with another woman. This night is definitely in your top three of the worst nights of your life. 

Notwithstanding, you try to see the good side by thinking Stuart doesn’t come your way with his hormones yet you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel something to see him leave with that woman. You don’t like to be eaten by jealousy. You finally got what you want : Stuart away from you but at the same time your body only wants one thing, to have him again. Stuart doesn’t make you think rationally and you hate that, you hate him for that.

“Not having fun ?” Nick asks you as he sits next to you.

“I’m not in the mood to party.”

“Y/N, you’re 21, it’s time to enjoy yourself. After that, it’ll be too late, believe me.”

“I have too much in mind to enjoy myself.”

“Ah ! It’s because of a boy, isn’t it ?” he states, smiling. “Maybe I know the guy who is turning your head.”

“Nonsense ! I’m worried about the app we still haven’t made yet because of you and Billy’s brilliant idea.”

You put your drink down on the table in front of you violently before standing up, angry at what he said. You only take two steps when Stuart comes in front of you with a huge smile on his face. Apparently, he just had a great time. You see him open his mouth, ready to talk, but you cut him off.

“You shut up, I absolutely don’t want to hear you !”

You go in the club’s bathroom to splash some water on your face, hoping it’ll calm you down. You’re surprised to know you got easily riled up. The situation with Stuart is irritating you more than you thought.

Ten minutes later, you leave the bathroom and go meet the group. However, you find them on the verge of getting thrown away by the bouncers. Confused, you follow them out of the club and Yo-yo informs you they got into a fight, that’s why they had to leave. Sometimes, you wonder why you didn’t make more effort to get into another group.

You end up in a place near the Golden Gate Bridge to sober up, well actually for them to sober up because besides two drinks, you didn’t drink anything else so you’re fine. Lyle is completely wasted while the others are hungover.

You’re on a bench, away from the others. Your annoyance is too strong for you to laugh at their alcoholic antics so you prefer to stay alone and enjoy the coolness of the morning. You need thirty minutes to finally laugh at Lyle’s actions. He says a lot of nonsense which is really different from what he usually does. From afar, you can see Stuart talking to Nick. You wonder what they’re talking about before you can’t stop yourself from doing it. Stuart needs to stop being on your mind 24/7. Speaking of Stuart, you see him get closer to you. He sits next to you so you refuse to look at him, keeping your gaze on the landscape in front of you. 

“Could we stop avoiding each other ?”

“When we don’t, they notice there’s something between us… I mean there was.” you retort drily.

“I said we wouldn’t sleep together anymore, not that we should stop talking.”

“Except that when we do talk, you always wanna get in my pants. So I prefer keeping my distance.”

“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.” he admits, “you’re an amazing person.”

“Less amazing than the other woman at the club.” you murmur.

“What ?”

“Nothing.” you tell him, not wanting to show your jealousy.

“Y/N, I swear I never meant to play with you or ruin our friendship. When I kissed you the first time, I don’t know what got into me. It shouldn’t have gone this far. I apologise.”

“We’ve talked about it a thousand times, Stuart.” you sigh, looking at him, “I feel like we go around in circles. Either you want me or you don’t. But you can’t leave and come back whenever you feel like it.”

“I know.”

“Why do you do it then ?” you ask him, desperate.

“I don’t know.”

“Wow, you know how to talk to women.” you say sarcastically. “Fuck this love.” you mutter before standing up.

“Wait. I care about you, Y/N.” Stuart holds you back while taking your hand in his, “More than I’d like to and I think that’s why I leave and come back. I don’t want to lose you but I don’t know if you want me.”

“I wish you had talked to me about this instead of hurting me. At least, I’d feel less shitty.” you throw at him before leaving him alone.

Your team’s hangover ended up giving you an idea for an app which earned you a lot of points. Although you’re happy to see your internship is going well, you can’t help but feel perturbed by what Stuart told you earlier. Did he mean it ? Or did he only want to put you in his bed again ? He said he cared about you however you don’t know if you should believe him. After all, you got disappointed so many times by him in a month and a half…

As your trial is over, you walk to your room to finally get some rest. Between the sleepless night and the app you had to do at the last minute, you don’t have energy anymore. You dream of only one thing : the comfort of your bed. You’re about to open your bedroom’s door when you hear someone screaming your name. 

“Y/N !”

“Stuart ? What do you want ?” you question as he comes in front of you.

“I’m tired of hiding.” he drops, “I really care about you, Y/N. You’re a smart, funny and beautiful person. I was stupid for always leaving and coming back, you don’t deserve me to do this to you. You were right this morning, I should have talked to you about what I felt before screwing everything up. It’s just, I didn’t know if you’d want a relationship with me so I was okay with what we had and you seemed okay with it too, except I ended up hurting you and I’m terribly sorry about it. I know I’ve ruined all my chances with you, but if I could at least have you as a friend, it’d make me happy. Y/N, I promise you, if I could go back in time, I’d confess my feelings for you way before so you wouldn’t hate me now.”

“I don’t hate you.” you correct him, staring at him.

“You don’t ?”

“I have been disappointed by you, that’s for sure. You’ve messed with my brain, that’s the least we can say, but I can’t help and fall back into your arms because I care about you, too.” you admit to him, “I know I’ll probably regret what I’m about to say but if this time, you promise to communicate with me, to not run away at the first hesitation, I’d like to be friends with you again. Even if I have feelings for you, I can’t promise you we’ll get back together, I need to fully trust you again before getting into a relationship. But I can’t act as if I wanted to stay away from you. Let’s try one last time.”

“One last time is all I ask.” Stuart smiles with a hopeful look.

In the end, this last time ended up being different from the previous ones. Your relationship with Stuart has finally been able to blossom into something beautiful, like both of your hearts wanted it so much.

Masterlist

Romance Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

#marie swriting in english #stuart twombly x you #stuart twombly x y/n #stuart twombly imagine #stuart twombly x reader #stuart twombly #the internship #Spotify #marie swriting with music #marie swriting with camila cabello #marie swriting with romance

[perpetual-fool]

Mara 2

(3k)

   "So, things not connecting?"

   I was absent-mindedly lying on my bed. Staring at the ceiling, trying to will thoughts to come to me. Nothing was coming. Mara lies down beside me.

   "Where were we?" I reply. "People almost making sense? Well, sometimes." "I'm not really running on full capacity at the moment, but I think it's generally the context that's off. Like family claiming 'we would do anything for you'. And I've felt strongly about a couple people, I can imagine what that might be like. But what they've actually done is gone out of their way to torment me, not giving me the slightest bit of leeway if I just ask them to stop." "It kind of seems like, and I'm sure this would make me sound like a terrible person, but my parents have a cat, and I've had to start kicking him to get him to stop touching me."    "You feel you have to?"    "Yeah. Like, used to be, he'd just hang around my parents and only rub on me or get underfoot once in a while. And I can handle once in a while. Sort of like, when he and his siblings were kittens I'd sit with them in the living room and let them climb on me. But then I could leave. When I'd had as much as I can handle and needed alone time, I could just climb over the little fence and get away from them. So, he'd mostly just bother my parents, and if I noticed he needed food or something I'd get him some. And it was fine."    "Then what?"    "Then my parents went on vacation for a couple weeks, leaving me to take care of him. And I tried to just give him what attention I could, and then set him down and go about my business. But that wasn't enough. He wouldn't leave alone, he still kept touching me. I had to start locking in one of the back rooms so I could cook, but that wasn't enough time for me to recover. It just kept grating on me more as time went on. I did start spraying him a spray bottle to keep him away. That kind of worked. He'd stay out from underfoot, but only just. He'd still be lurking a step away, a constant threat, trying to touch me if he thought I wasn't looking. And then I started spraying him if I could see him at all, if he ran under the table I'd lean down and keep spraying until he was out of the room. He kept getting more persistent as time went on, until my parents got home, but that almost worked."    "Almost?"    "He only gave me space if he saw the spray bottle. If I dare set it down he would try to touch me again. I'd go get the bottle if he started getting close, but there were a number of times when he just snuck up on me. I got so stressed out I just started kicking him on reflex. That eventually worked. But if I do anything nice for him at all he'll start touching me again. So, no food, water, cleaning the litterbox, or just opening the door to let him outside. I still tense up if I think I see movement out of the corner of my eye."    "And this feels like what people do?"    "Feels like it, yeah. In another context all of this would be fine. But they're not even the slightest bit considerate of my feelings."

   "What would it look like if the cat was being considerate?" she asks.    "I don't fucking know, animals are dumb." "I guess, leaving me alone and finding something else to do when I set him down. But it's not like I can tell the cat I need space. So probably doing the same thing, except when I pushed him out the way or started spraying him."    "And what if you could just tell him?"    "Then I'd say 'hey, leave me alone, I need some space.' and then he'd leave me alone for a while. And maybe later he'd get my attention by walking into my line of sight and looking up at me, and I could say 'no I still need space' and he'd leave me alone some more. Or maybe I'd say 'yeah okay' and then pick him up or something."

   "Are we getting anywhere with the cat analogy?"    "No."

   "Ya' know," I say, "I've literally spent years on this problem. Is this even solvable?"    "How would you tell?"    "I don't think I could figure out if it's solvable without actually solving it. That sounds like one of those problems proven to be mathematically impossible. I wouldn't know, but I definitely don't know how I'd go about proving that. Though I can imagine proving that it's not possible. Say, like some  kind of puzzle that literally has pieces missing, not enough to do.. whatever the puzzle is."    "Alright, so what are the pieces? or I should say, what is the puzzle?"    "Hm, two puzzles. One, build an accurate model as to what's going on in other people's heads. Two, get at least one of them to build an accurate model of me in their head."    "Okay but before that, why? How do you know that this isn't the wrong problem?"    "To connect; basic human need. On my end understanding is strictly necessary. On their end, I guess I've been assuming the same. And yeah, there's no way that could somehow be an exception. Though I don't know that they're actually trying to do that. Maybe they're not. Every time I've brought up something that wasn't right they just insisted that it was. That's not connecting. Like, when I'm chopping vegetables and feel some resistance, I'm not like 'no, the knife is wrong'. I adjust to the knife, to the situation. That's connecting."

   "And, this is not a metaphor," I continue, "I've tried to teach other people how to use a knife, and watched how they do it. They're completely deaf to the knife. Okay, calling it 'deaf' is a metaphor. Numb, I guess. They can't feel when their grip is unstable. They can't tell when the knife is getting dull. They don't notice when they're damaging the edge. And there's about four different things in the cut itself, how much you press, how much you pivot, how much you slide, and what part of the knife you're cutting with. There's more but that's sufficient for my point. With each of those things, different configurations are better for different foods and different knives. And it's dynamic. Like, if you're sliding, sawing, then you're not using the same part of the knife for the whole cut. So you're constantly chasing a moving target, more or less. And they just don't. Like, 'knife go up and down' and if it's not working, make Ari sharpen the knives again. They don't feel when there's more or less resistance." "Help me make a point out of this."    "And this is analogous to how people understand? or how they don't?"    "No, I think this is how they understand, whatever that means to them. Not comparable, the thing itself."

   "Does that have some implications?"    "..That I really am naive for thinking I could ever connect with anyone."    "You can't think of any way at all? That's really not like you."    "..It's possible that there's some profound communication problem. But I don't fucking see how. It's not like I've been unclear. And it's extremely common for people to un-clarify what I said anyway. It wouldn't matter if I even made my own language, specific as Ithkuil. They would still just decide 'you don't mean [thing], you mean [different thing]'. I don't think there's anything in there that would be meaningful in the sense that I understand things. And if there were, then they're doing this on purpose."    "Are you certain?"    "As certain as I can be. If I ever meet someone who's like 'wait a minute, what do you mean by..?' followed by 'so you mean like..?', then I will flip on a dime. But I have nowhere left to look, and really, nothing left to try."

   "I believe you." she says.    "Thanks." "Hey, move closer?"    She lays her head on my chest, I wrap my arm around her. She's warm.

   "What do I do with this, Mara?"    "With not being able to connect, or with knowing that you can't?"    "I don't know. I guess I don't want to let go of the idea."    "Understandable."    "There isn't anything to be done with the former, is there?"    "You could try writing a poem or a song or something."    "Would that accomplish anything?"    "I dunno. You'll never know if you don't try."    "I guess so. And the latter?"    "Same thing."    "They would be bad."    "Yeah, what of it?"    "Wouldn't that make me a bad person?"    "That's stupid."    "Yeah, well, I'm stupid."    "Okay firstly, what would make art 'bad'?"    "I dunno. What even is 'art'?"    "If I just tell you what I think you're going to be like 'oh well other people think I'm bad so I'm still gonna think I'm a piece of shit'. You're not going to believe me."    "..I'm sorry."    "I don't want you to be sorry. I'm not the one you need to believe, love."    "I don't want to do this. It hurts."    "You don't want to stay like this, do you? I'm here, we'll get through it together."

   "Alright, so let's take a rock for example. In some kind of garden it might be an art piece but the same thing out in a field is just a meaningless rock. The difference being, in a garden it's evoking a sense of nature? So art is anything that evokes feelings. At least, that's a good enough definition for the moment."    "And what would make art 'bad'?"    "That it doesn't evoke feelings, or that it evokes the wrong feelings. Say, a plastic yard ornament that's supposed to look like a rock, but doesn't quite."    "And evoking whose feelings, in your case?"    "In this case, I'm the audience, they would be mine."    "I just wanted to hear you say it. So what about failing to evoke emotions would make you a bad person?"    "I don't know what 'bad person' means."    "What would it mean to you, Ari?"    "What would 'bad' mean? promoting suffering or hindering joy. If a person was doing that, they'd be doing bad, but that's not the issue here. 'Being' bad is the issue. So what does it mean for a person to 'be' something? Things that don't change I guess. Well, don't generally change. Structure and values? Being autistic, for instance. Or being altruistic for the latter. Do I need to justify that position?"    "You don't have to justify anything to me, love."    "Thanks. Alright, so structure would be inherently amoral, which just leaves values. Someone might think someone else's values are immoral, an instinct for hunting for instance. And someone might have conflicting values, such as wanting to hunt but not wanting to hurt others, and thus trying to hunt 'ethically'. But it doesn't make any sense for someone to say their own values are bad, as that would be the very thing they're using to make that determination. Ffrankly it makes as much sense to say I'm evil for wanting sex as it would to say I'm evil for wanting things to be orderly, or for wanting to help others. Tthat's just what came to mind. Am I bad for somehow making this about sex?"    "What do you think?"    "I think I'm conflicted, in that I want to connect with others and make them happy, and they've been upset whenever I've brought it up. But like, they didn't just tell me 'no I don't want to talk about that'. They like, just played along for awhile, letting me just be a piece of shit. Why didn't they just ffucking tell me? But um, they really weren't any different for any other topic. I think it was the same conflict of 'understanding' as everything else. It's just, this was really important to me, and impossible for me to process, because that's one of the main ways the church put the screws to people. Being generally taboo doesn't help of course. Like, I can't just ask someone what it's like to have a vagina. Nor what 'romance' means exactly. But I was never going to be able to discuss anything, really. So, if I'm evil, it's for failing to communicate. But it's not like I haven't been trying. Logically, I'd have to say that failure to communicate has to be a structure problem, and is thus amoral. It'd make as much sense to say I'm evil for being too tall. But it doesn't feel that way. Short of finding out that people really have been twisting what I say deliberately, I think I'm still going to feel like it's my fault."    "So do you think you're bad for making your example about sex?"    "No. Sex shouldn't be taboo, that's horseshit. I could see people wanting a trigger warning or something, but just discussing it should be fine, generally speaking."    "And what would a 'bad person' mean to you?"    "A fucking myth, people imposing their values on others. Not that the pursuit of certain values wouldn't be bad for others. Hell, capitalism right? But people don't get to decide what they are. It doesn't do any good to make them hate themselves for it. Nor to hate them. Hate isn't how you fix things."    "So would you be a bad person for making bad art?"    "No. Being an amateur is a necessary step to get to competence. I'm a bad person for not being able to figure out how to connect with her, and for not figuring out the things she wasn't telling me."    "I can pretend I don't know what you're talking about if you want to discuss that."    "I mean, really there's nothing more to discuss than what I've gone over already. Fundamentally incompatible. It looked like I really had a chance, but I think that was probably only because I hadn't been able to express myself well enough for her to take offense to it yet. And it this point, the handful of 'not being myself' incidents are bothering me more."    "That's progress then? Do you wanna talk about those?"    "It is. And I'm not sure. I have been writing these a bit longer, but I have no criteria for how long is the proper length. And also we're kind of at the end of the subject."    "Shh, if you break the fourth wall then I'll disappear." she whispers.    "You're a liar."    "You would know."    "I mean, the fact that I don't is kind of the whole premise here."

   "So what do you wanna do?"

   "I dunno. I had this thought of a whimsical place to take this but I'm not feeling it now. I'm so fucking worthless. And I'm so sorry. I don't know what was fucking wrong with me."

   She rolls over and puts her arm around me.

   "Even that," I continue, "I'm just imagining nice things I shouldn't have. And it's contrived, and I'm stupid."    "You did just say you're not in control of me. Maybe I'm an alter. Maybe we really did get fucked up in second grade and you've just been thinking you're the only one in here."    "That's not congruent with stories about what that's like."    "Well maybe we're just a little fucked up."    "Well yeah, but not like that."    "You don't know that. Maybe you should try letting me take control sometime, see what happens."    "What if you're really a demon or something trying to posses me?"    "You'd like that."    "Yeah. But you're not, you're too familiar."    "Or maybe I've always been here, trying to tempt you to follow your dreams and believe in yourself."    "Alright yeah, I'll try to let you posses me and if it works you can draw me a picture or something."    "I'd love to, sweetheart."

   "This is all unhinged, isn't it?"    "Love, I heard you whisper that you should kill yourself for five minutes straight today. Having an imaginary demon girlfriend who loves you is unhinged in a much more positive direction. You've never been hinged."

   "I'm getting loopy."    "..I'm not just going to keep telling you to do things you know have to do."    "I never feel better after I sleep. And I've been having nightmares lately. I've had to have rain noises or something going to deal with it."    "I know."    "Thanks."

[yanderart]

Another installment in my yandere pov series, and inspired by a few anon requests I got to paint dabi. 

Below the cut, as customary, is a one-shot I wrote for the backstory behind the portrait (Dabi x reader, 3k, dark themes). Hope y’all enjoy 🖤

Tws: nsfw, noncon, hinted kidnapping, inner turmoil. Overall nastiness.

   Staring at the marred back of the man lying beside you, eyes following the billowing pattern of his scars, it was easy to pretend you two were just another couple sleeping side by side. Pretend that you weren’t in a ratty motel room hidden away from the world, on a mattress that creaked with any slight shift of movement, and with the bitter taste of fear resting below your tongue.

   Pretend that he loved you, just like you loved him. Fantasize that it wasn’t the type of complicated infatuation corroded by trauma filled pasts, by bitterness and the phantom of brokered trusts.

  But then Dabi turned, the hitch in his breath warning you of his now alert state, and when his cobalt eyes held your stare all illusions were promptly shattered. Wishful words died on your lips before they even had the chance of being born, the frown on his face deepening as his arms circled around you, drawing you close.

   You tried to leave your mind blank then as he pressed your face into his chest, wishing it was easier to tune him out while he muttered lazy words against the shell of your ear. 

   “What happened, Princess?”, Dabi’s sluggish smile dragged the corner of his mouth upwards, making you feel the unmistakably texture of his metallic staples digging into the side of your face, “Are you lonely?”, He was mocking you, of course, and yet it was hard to not identify the hopefulness that hid behind his jest. 

   A hopefulness that went hand to hand with his need, with the sharp line of his body enveloping you and a rapidly hardening length heating up your lower abdomen. 

   A tremble shook you, prompting you to curse beneath your breath as a low chuckle was drawn from the man holding you. 

   “Or were you cold?”, and he was still teasing you, elated in your humiliation. 

   Because you were naked in his grasp, without even a blanket to aid you or any other heating present in the musty motel room. He had refused you any covers from day one, taking away what little you owned in terms of clothing and citing the fact that you needed not hide away from his glare. But you knew the truth behind his meager explanations, the reasons why he so rejoiced in seeing you exposed and trembling.

   In the death of winter, with the cold biting at your skin and the air feeling suffocating in its humidity, he was your only source of warmth.

   It became impossible not to let out a reluctant sound of relief as he dragged his palm through your sides, heating up your skin with languid movements. Although you were luckily way past the point of feeling any embarrassment at your own willingness to stop the cold, past the point of blaming your body for reacting in the way your captor had conditioned it to do so. 

   “Want me to warm you up, then”, Dabi muttered now at the base of your neck, his breath hot and almost painful as it grazed your nearly frozen skin, “Princess was so cold she couldn't even wait for me to wake up on my own, is that it?” 

   He wasn’t even expecting an answer at that point, just talking for his own sake as your shaking became even more pronounced, getting off on forcing you to hear whatever sadistic taunts his mind provided. Unwittingly pressing yourself against him as you tried to wiggle out of his grasp (dumb girl, should’ve known better than to think you would ever get away), by the time you felt the twitching of his bulge against your stomach it was too late to try and pull back. 

   His hands were pressing you down from the small of your back before you had a chance to think of voicing any discomfort, his sarcastic laughter turned into a low rumble as he proceeded to roll his own hips into you, angling you with ease so that he was pushing against a much more sensible spot lower down.  

   With your face away from him, it was too late for you to trick yourself into zoning things out. All you could see was the dirty mattress you were forced to lay on as he continued to mutter against your pulse, the rough texture of nails diving into your flesh as he coaxed you into following his movements, setting a cadence for you both as he continued to rut into you through the thin fabric of his boxers.

   All you could feel was the disgust climbing from your gut, the burning sensation of tears you hadn’t been able to shed since your very first few weeks with Dabi. 

   “I’ll warm you up, baby”, he was whispering as one of his hands crept up your stomach, tickling your ribs with its blazing touch and making you wonder if you were about to get marked again. He sounded so utterly pleased with himself, so absolutely content, that your mind was quick to conjure up images of blue flames licking at your flesh, of the barely fading scars that littered your entire body. 

   He took one of your breasts into his grasp then and snapped you away from your lingering memories, kneading it slowly, almost carefully, before his fingers made contact with the sensible bud of your nipple. Again, it would’ve been so easy to get lost in that sensation, in that revering touch, if your circumstances didn’t make it anything short of horrifying.

   (But you were warming up already, weren’t you? Your cunt reacting despite the disgust and horror you proclaimed, slick gathering as it greedily prepared for the impending intrusion. What a liar you were, Princess.)

   He continued his lethargic rhythm as his fingers toyed with your chest, teasing himself (teasing you both), before taking his other hand away from your lower back. You were trained enough not to try getting away from Dabi by that point, knowing better than to fight the inevitable, but it was still hard not to feel shame bubbling back up as you found your own hips stuttering down to meet his out of reflex.  

   In his hands, your own body became the deadliest weapon he could wield against you.

  (Yet you’re enjoying this, you like this. Therefore, you must like him too, right?)

   His now vacant arm slid up until he was roughly grasping your jaw. He angled your face down to stare into his gaze, into his scarred face and parted lips that morphed into a perfect picture of lust riddled reverence. And seeing the longing in those orbs was far crueler than all of his jests, all of the degradation and threats. Far scarier, too. 

   “Kiss me, Princess”, he commanded then, his stern voice almost succeeding at hiding away an eagerness you knew lurked beneath. 

    And you did, because you knew the consequences you’d otherwise face. You dived down to capture his lips in a mechanical way, moving dispassionately (or that’s what you tried telling yourself, as in denial as you were) until he took over. Much in the same way he had coached your hips earlier, the hand in your jaw instructed you with light movements until a pleased sound left the back of his throat. 

   “So willing for me”, he praised in a hushed tone as he briefly broke away, voice grave and dripping with desire. 

    And just like before, it wasn’t long before he decided you were well enough accustomed to the action, and then the grip holding your jaw was once more moving downwards, his scorching touch now merely tickling you as a palm pressed against your stomach, massaging your flesh as it continued its path to the same place his thrusts were directed at. 

   Your breath caught in your throat then, eyes closing as you tried to preemptively contain your emotions. 

   Dabi did not appreciate that. 

   “Look at me”, he uttered with a dark edge, a heavy order to loom over your quivering shoulders. 

   But you kept your eyes tightly shut, feeling fingers snaking between your legs and tracing the outside of your cunt as they quickly became dampened by the wetness gathering there. The squelching sound of his digits dipping inside your folds only made you cringe further, so focused as you were into keeping immobile and quiet. 

   You wanted to disappear. (You wanted to open your eyes and moan).

   Confronted with your tenacious refusals to comply, one of his fingers made its way to your hidden nub as a response, proceeding to mercilessly rub against it before he gave you any time to become accustomed. The spiralling stimulation made it difficult not to visibly shake. There was nothing teasing or slow about his movements, unrefined and harsh, yet you thought you could feel Dabi’s frustration at your stubbornness through that touch alone. 

   “Look at me before I decide that just humping your needy cunt won’t do”, he threatened, his own words breathless and hoarse.

   Which did give you a moment of trepidation as you tried and failed at ignoring his assault on your body. Your hands were now clenched into fists against his chest, nails digging into your own flesh while his fingers delved deeper inside you. They stretched you in a way which felt uncomfortably pleasant, quickly finding your tender spots in a practiced manner. 

   “C'mon, you don't have to make it harder. You've been so good for me lately, so sweet", and despite the terrible nature of his words, the slight softening of his tone had a terrible effect on you. 

   His words scared you, terrified you, and yet the backhanded compliment only made you more lightheaded, helping the unwilling pressure steadily building up due to his quick and nimble fingers. 

   You didn't notice his face getting closer, his breaths coming in hot puffs against the skin of your tender neck, but you did feel his lips as they closed against the crook of it, his teeth as they scrapped carelessly before claiming that same spot in a painful show of dominance. 

   You were trembling now despite a part of you still commanding your eyes shut. Inside you, his digits felt warm, so filling already, and you couldn’t help clasping around them despite your attempts at ignoring any unwanted excitement. 

  (Were you seriously going to cum on the fingers of your captor? Of the man whose face now plagued your nightmares, whose voice never left your conscious mind? My, my, what a hypocrite of a whore you were.)

   “Mine”, you thought you heard Dabi whisper as his love bites continued littering your skin “My princess.”

   And wasn't it fitting, how his awful nickname for you was the last thing you heard before his fingers achieved their goal. Two of them were slamming in and out of you, filling the room with horrible wet noises that you had unsuccessfully been trying to tune out, and a third one still insistently toyed with your clit. 

   It was fast, it was relentless, and your eyes were shooting open without your permission as a choked moan finally escaped your tightly shut mouth. You shook while you came, opening your fists against your assailant's chest and trying to ignore the pungent taste of shame as you found purchase on his shoulders instead. 

   From the back of your conscience, still overwhelmed by the shots of pleasure shaking your core (by his fingers that hadn't stopped for a second, insisting on accompanying you through your orgasm), you thought you heard a satisfied hum coming from the man holding you. 

   And as the pleasure numbed slowly, as the sensations turned painful while he refused to leave your oversensitive sex, Dabi was finally exiting the cover of your neck and his cerulean eyes were finding yours again. 

   There was a satisfied smirk in his lips, his expression almost soft if it weren’t for the hidden glimmer you had learned to tell apart.

   “Now, now”, he cooed at you as he continued to force your body into overstimulation, sobs fighting to exit your throat now instead of the unsolicited moan from earlier, “I knew you’d be good. You always listen to me now after all, don't you, Princess", his other hand had started kneading your other breast, left neglected until now, and your body was so unbearably hot by that point that you would have gladly welcomed back the terrible winter cold, “You'd do whatever I ask of you, wouldn’t you?”

   It was hard to think, hard to respond as the last vestiges of your pride still leaked out of you and facilitated his relentless attack on your flesh. Your nipple was being pinched roughly, only adding to the pain of being overstimulated.

   (But you were feeling It again, right? The tell-tales of your arousal awakening for a second time. So eager to please him, to be obedient despite whatever objections you claimed to harbor). 

   Another tug at your chest, this time nails lightly digging in, and you were slapped out of your dazed state into answering with rushed words. 

   “I'll do whatever you ask, Dabi”, your voice felt foreign to you, so small, so docile, “but make it stop. Don’t...”, a sound resembling a cry fought its way out through your sentence, one which neither of you knew if it was from discomfort or a pleasure quickly gearing its head back up, “make it stop, please.”

   He was so fucking satisfied to hear your meek little pleads again then, relishing on them like a man starved after so long of your stubborn refusals to speak. To his ears, it sounded like the chorus of heavenly angels descending from the heavens to reach him. He, who if there even was such a thing as Heaven, would be better fit for the scorching flames down below. 

   And that's when you felt it again, the threat of his now bare cock coming to rest against your pussy. It was a tentative probe, almost clumsy without hands to aid him in his search, and his fingers did not ease their assaults for even a second as you tried not to feel betrayed.

   (But did you really believe he would keep his word? That he'd just hump you like an eager virgin when he knew the alluring slickness waiting to hug him, to welcome him back? You were even dumber than you looked.)

    “I know I promised", he admitted while you felt his warm erection pressing slightly, teasingly, against your slit, your own body starting to reach its second cusp without the time to even completely get down from the first, “but you took too long this time, Princess. You were being such a brat…”

   And it was almost poetically ironic, how your second orgasm hit as his fingers relented and his cock finally entered you in their place. It stretched you in a way which was no longer painful but filling (it didn’t make you cry, having you fruitlessly trying to find anything to ground yourself to as it tore you apart. Not anymore anyways). You sighed and moaned while being stuffed full, finally giving in despite any apprehension, and your pussy took him in and hugged him tight as a response. It distracted you from the shame, the guilt, the remorse, and before long your keening was filling the room with its eagerness. 

   “Maybe next time”, he kept groaning against your ear, now both hands going down to grab at the supple globes of your ass, persuading your pliant body into follow the rhythm he was easily setting, “if you're better then, if you…”, even for him it was becoming harder to talk, entranced as he was by the welcoming hold of your inner walls, “if you don't wake me up, if you aren’t so needy. Maybe then, fuck.”

   You were still cumming as his halfhearted promises mingled with his excuses, as he became lost in his own pleasure, in using you as he saw fit. And, lost as you were in the sensations, you were foolish enough to think them true for a moment.

   Maybe next time, you repeated to yourself as his thrust become frantic. His grip on your ass turned painful as he lost sight of the force he was using, his palms heating inadvertently and your skin sizzling below them. You'd have more marks once all was said and done, more patterns to add to your growing collection. 

   Maybe next time he woke up he'd let you go. Maybe he'd finally understand love was not a prison nor a leash. Maybe next time he would ask for your forgiveness, understanding all the trauma and horror he was forcing you to endure. 

  (Or maybe you'd be the one asking for penance, kneeling in front of him and finally seeing him in the way he so desired. Maybe you would start understanding the dimension of his efforts then, of his love for you that he knew not how to show otherwise. A love that scared him as much as it damaged you.)

   As his hoarse moans mingled with your own, you were too drunk on your own fantasies to even attempt to squirm away before he was filling you up with his seed, your walls still convulsing around him as your body stayed attentive, pliant and tender. His lips were kissing you, licking you in poor attempt at providing comfort, and yet you felt a hopeful smile turning the corners of your lips ever so slightly. 

   So many things could happen next time. And anything would be better than this, right? Feeling his cum coating your insides as a litany of nonsense left Dabi's mouth, his softening cock refusing to leave and allow any drop to leak out. Anything had to be better than being owned, being conquered. 

   (So naïve you were, the only person you had gotten good at convincing was your damn self.)

   “Love you, princess", his head was buried in your neck again, his favorite place in your body to hide in while he slowly rocked you both, “so fucking much.”

   And in his own twisted way, as much as you wanted to fight and argue, you didn't doubt his words. Such a twisted love it was, but unquestionable in his burning desire. 

   Even as it charred you to a crisp, leaving nothing but ashes behind and deadlier than anything his quirk might subject you to. 

   Dabi loved you, his sweet little princess, and maybe if you weren't so stubborn you could start loving him back. 

****

Probably the longest one-shot I've posted alongside a portrait so far, since I'm still getting comfortable with the length of my writings (still cant believe people read and enjoy these lol). And special thanks to my pals @reinawritesbnha, @coyambition and @snappysnapo for lending me a pair of eyes before posting 🖤 love y'all !

🥀 Requests/Suggestions OPEN 🥀

#bnha fanart #dabi #yandere dabi #dabi x reader #yandere bnha #bnha imagines #mha fanart #bnha x reader #dabi fanart #dabi smut #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #anime fanart #dabi bnha #bnha art #artists on tumblr #just art tingz

[niskoo]

Burrito run

pairing: rich kid! Jake x rich kid! reader

genre: fluff, crack, bff2l! AU

warnings: food, swearing, sneaking out (??)

word count: 3k words

a/n: my dumbass posted this on my nct acc omfg

this was originally for haechan of nct for my nct acc (@daegall) but i thought i could treat you guys to hehe

networks: @enhypennetwork

You had known Jake for more than half of your lives. Thanks to both of your rich ass parents setting you two up for a playdate at the age of 12, now you have found your rock and partner in crime. You know when he's feeling down, when he wants to cause trouble for no reason, when he has an eye for someone, heck, you know when and how to get him out of any situation when needed.

Like right now, as he gives you a side glance as he talks boringly to a group of men. All they talked about was business. Jake wanted to talk about that one burrito place down the block, he wants to get out of there and go get some. He wants to get out of this stupid high class party he has no part of.

He knows you do too, he knows by the way you keep glancing at the back door by the kitchen, and how you occasionally move to each group closer to the door. You know he catches up to the plan, how he also moves from group to group, excusing himself every 2 minutes.

You politely excuse yourself from the many unknown rich aunts who just questioned your love life, giving them a very passive smile, before turning to move to another group.

You don't get to go to another group, because you're already so close to the door, and Jake approaches you.

"Why, hello there, miss Y/n."

You feign shock at his greeting, holding a hand to your chest, "My, Jaeyun, wasn't it? It's been too long!"

Your best friend nods, playing along to the small skit you two have created, "About 2 hours, I think? You've grown very beautifully,"

You flick your hand at him, nudging his shoulder not-so-gently, "Oh stop."

You bite your lip to hold back a loud laugh when Jake winces at your harsh push at his shoulder, watching as his face twists in playful anger. You can't help but thin he looks absolutely adorable, nose scrunched up and eyes narrowed in a non meaningful glare, you ought to kiss his puffed cheeks.

You shake the last thought from your mind, bringing the elegant glass of champagne to your lips, sipping lightly at the sweet and slightly sour liquid. You then take a double check around the spacious room, to see if anyone is watching.

Your mother and father were chatting at the far corner with the parents of Jay, a guy you met earlier this evening. He looked just as bored as you. Jake's parents stood not too far from your parents, greeting anyone who approached them.

This was your chance.

Quickly, as Jake was mumbling something about you growing up strongly as well, you grab his arm. He yelps in surprise, as you drag him through the back door, lightly blushing at your gentle touch at his wrist.

The back door soon slams behind the both of you, and you are met with a large yard.

"Y/n! What if someone caught us?"

Giving Jake a side glare, you start to trudge down the flight of stairs to the garden, "You were too busy complaining about my guns to notice we had a chance to escape. You're welcome."

"You're weak!"

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

You ignore the upcoming argument you could've started, taking off your painful heels. They were absolutely stunning, but stung your feet constantly. Beauty is pain, as mother says.

"Lead the way to the burrito truck you claimed to see on the way here!"

Through the many bushes, and many guards, and even more bushes, you finally make it out the the big mansion, and into the dark streets. It's 10 in the night, you hope the burrito place is still open or your only choice left is a McDonalds about an hour away or convenience store food. Not that you minded, but you haven't had a burrito since you were 18. You had it right after graduation day with one of your closes friends who you have no idea of her whereabouts now.

The last time Jake had a burrito is about last week, the first time he met another rich kid named Sunghoon. Their parents gave them a bunch of money to go spend on expensive and top quality foods, but they both mutually agreed to get cheap burritos that would probably give them a bad stomach.

Jake takes the lead, as expected, for he was the one who spotted the food truck. He took off his blazer some time ago, you don't remember when, but with his jacket thrown over his elbow and sleeves rolled up like that, you can't help but admire.

You notice every single little thing about him, his slow, rhythmic paces, occasionally kicking stray rocks on the sidewalk. You watch as his hair slightly bounces as he kicks yet another rock, and you want to pet his hair.

There was that one time when you were 16 and you had a movie night as your parents went away for some business, he had his head on your lap, you didn't mind for some reason. At some point you had started playing lightly with a few strands of his hair, but you didn't notice. The moment you softly ran your hands through his hair, you realized, and decided to keep your hands to yourself after that. To your surprise he protested against it, claiming it was very comforting. So now every time one of you come over to the other's house, you would somehow find yourself playing with his hair, like pure human instinct.

But now as you observed your best friend more, you have a different feeling running through you as you had an urge to softly play with them once more, as if it wasn't as platonic anymore. But that was absurd. you've been friends for 10 years now, why are you just feeling like this now?

Your heart jumps in your chest when you are suddenly met with Jake's eyes, shining brightly with a slight mischievous gloss glazing over them. "Can we pick up the pace please? I'm getting pretty hungry and I know you are too."

Your heart softens as he sticks his arm out, gesturing you to come next to him. You jog barefoot to his side, instantly looping your arm with his.

It doesn't take long to find the food truck Jake mentioned, just a 10 minutes from the mansion, somewhere near the center of town. You had to drive about 2 hours to get here, and so did Jake, so it's a bit strange how he knew his way around the town so easily. You guess he just is that way.

You practically drool at the smell of savory foods that lingers in the air, sucking the saliva in your mouth.

Your best friend eyes you playfully, nudging your hip with his, "See? What did I tell you? Burrito food truck!"

You don't respond, simply grunting and dragging him to the cashier to order some food.

It takes a lot of time to decide on what burrito you'd buy, there were even tacos, and weirdly, cookies and croissants. It was your dream food truck, really. In the end, you both went for the classic burrito, nothing could beat it.

There were no seats to the food truck, sadly, so you and Jake opted to sit on the curb, legs sprawled out on the road, hopefully no cars drive by.

"You ready?" Your best friend asks you, looking at you with much anticipation. You stare at your own burrito in much more anticipation, it's been 4 years since you had a burrito. You wonder how you could survive that long.

You nod vivaciously, already opening your mouth to take a bite. Jake chuckles as he watches you take your first bite, your cheeks instantly puffing out full of the contents. You shut your eyes in bliss, licking your lips for anything left on them.

As you continue to chew, you shake your head, "Shit, I haven't had anything this good in sooo long." You exaggerate, taking yet another bite of the heavenly treat.

Jake can't agree more, he just had a burrito last week, but somehow eating one with you feels different. Especially when you don't mind him seeing and pointing out the smeared food around your mouth, simply trying to search for it with your tongue instead.

Your best friend wants to cherish this moment forever, keep it deep in his heart and laugh at it in the future when he suddenly gets reminded of it, he wants to brag about it to his friends, maybe even share it with his grandchildren, he doesn't know. All he knows is that you're it for him.

You're the one he's spent all of his teenage years with, his first heartbreak, first sleepover, first drink was with you, heck, you were his first close friend!

You know so much about him, you share so much about yourself to him, he's the one you trust. He's the first person you call out to when you're down, first person you call out to in the best of your times. It amazing how much you've been through together, and Jake thinks anything is possible, as long as it's you.

Falling in love seems so much easier than ever, especially at that moment, eating a burrito instead of the expensive caviar at the party before, just with him. And nobody else.

He wants to make you his. Not just his best friend, his lover, his soul mate, his whole world. Not that you weren't already.

"What's wrong?" you suddenly ask Jake, startling him. "You nudge your chin at the burrito in his hands, "Why aren't you eating?"

Jake flushes, realizing he's been staring at you the whole time, taking a big bite of his burrito, before looking away bashfully. "It's nothing."

You grow suspicious of his actions, watching as he swallows and bites his lip shyly. You choose to leave it there, instead bringing up your parents being out of town next week.

The conversation keeps going, from one topic to the other, swerving all over the place, but that's just how it is, talking to the person you're most comfortable with.

The conversation goes on and on until you find yourself walking along the streets blindly, fiddling with the paper packaging of the burrito you ate. You also find yourself wearing Jake's shoes instead of walking barefoot, he gave to you after you complained about walking over so many rocks, and you didn't like how your heart swarmed and beat dangerously fast as he claimed it would be better if you borrowed them for the night.

Strangely enough, his blazer he took off about and hour ago now stayed on your shoulders, keeping you warm from the cold breezes of the night. All your best friend's actions made you swoon over him, and that wasn't something you would feel often. Maybe occasionally, but not everyday.

Jake doesn't know what got into him when he took his shoes off for you, or when he draped his blazer on your shoulders, or why he took your heels and held it for you. What he does know, is that he enjoys the way your lips purse and a light shade of pink dusted over your cheeks. Or how you pull his blazer tighter around your body and sub-consciously loop your arm around his again.

You two never really got to go through the proper high school experience, your parents forced you to go to a strict school with strict rules, they didn't even have celebrations.

Jake always imagines what it would be like to go to a dance, prom, maybe? Full of fun, dancing, and definitely you. You had a similar vision. Chugging down punch or soda and dancing crazily together until you both get sick and throw up in the bathroom.

Prom was like a mutual yearning for the both of you.

God, how you would kill to have a normal high school experience.

"You know," Jake starts, "this feels like I'm walking you home after prom."

You can't stop the grin from reaching your lips, giving into it and letting out a soft laugh. Softly, you elbow his side, "Corny."

There are a few laughs here and there after that, but overall just comforting silence that goes throughout the night. The crickets that echo throughout the night are your only noises, and the few cars rushing by. You two come to a stop at a random bench by a streetlamp, settling there until you realize it's time to go back to the party.

You realize it, but you just don't want to let go of the moment.

You feel Jake hook his leg under yours, swinging them together in sync as you rest and stare into the night sky. Tonight isn't that much of a pretty night, no stars, barely a moon, but that's alright, you're enjoying the most of it.

You turn your head away from the boring black sky, instead facing the mot interesting thing you find in life. Jake is staring down at your swinging legs, smiling at the sight. He fiddles softly with your fingers, caressing and tracing them as if they were one of the most precious things in the world.

Your eyes trail from your tangled legs, to your tangled hands, all the way up to Jake's face, tracing each and every detail with your gaze. You don't remember when he matured, you only remember the fluffy cheeked bowl cut Jake when you two were still middle schoolers. Now all that cheek has become more defined, especially his jaw, you can't help but admire him. He was like a piece of art. Your favorite piece of art.

For the second time that night, you focus on his hair, and ought to run your hands through them once again. To pull him into your embrace as he rests on you, to simply relax and twirl his strands around your fingers.

It seems like whenever you're staring at his hair, Jake just startles you with his eyes, still glossy, but this time they hold something different.

They admire you just as much as yours admire him.

Slowly, as if an unspoken agreement, you lean in closer to his face. His breath close to your cheek sets goosebumps trailing your body, and his touch now on your neck warms you inside.

Your eyes flit between his eyes and lips, oh those plump, soft lips you dream of. You would never admit it, but you have had many urges to crash your own upon them.

And that's exactly what you do. Though, crash isn't the right word to describe it. They press together softly more than recklessly, pulling into a soft lock, something much more than just platonic love being poured into it. Pure bliss and love are being poured like gentle and calm rivers, the ones you find clear and beautiful in parks. It runs faster as Jake tilts your head to kiss you closer, lips wrapped up in the warmth of yours. It feels like home to him.

Jake is absolutely perfect, you decide, despite all the many nights spent together breaking down, left for each other to pick the other up, it makes him perfect.

He thinks you're the most flawless thing he's ever seen, despite all the gems and crystals he sees in most parties, you're the brightest one shining, he could never find any jewel more valuable than you.

You pull away with one last soft lock of your lips, but stay close and ghost them together. You find his eyes the shining the most you have ever seen in the 10 years you have spent with him, one different emotion fluttering behind them. Love.

You surely don't feel that big of a person when you're at these big rich parties, even if everyone knew of your name. But kissing your best friend and being the one he sees, he loves, being his, you feel like you could rule the world.

You know you're his after this. How could you not? The way he breaks out into a very bashful smile when you leave one last peck on his lips, the way he holds you so close. There was no way he couldn't be yours after this.

A week later you have a very sleepy boyfriend on your couch, his head resting on your lap as you play softly with his hair. Nothing is all that different, except for all the kisses he steals when reaching up to you. And of course, the corny lines being thrown at each other as a competition to see who can come up with the cheesiest, most disgusting pick up line ever.

"I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my baerito."

"Ugh Jake that was just straight but bad! Not even funny or cheesy!"

Jake simply laughs, and wraps his arms around you just as he claimed to have wanted to, mumbling how he agreed into your forehead.

Being in his arms, you feel like you could fight everything that would try to hurt your lover, but for now you stick to the playful pokes he gives to your stomach and sides.

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #i land #enhypen jake #jake sim #jake #jake sim enhypen #jake enhypen #jake sim imagines #jake sim scenarios #jake sim fluff #jake sim x reader #jake imagines

[brazilianism]

What’s going on in Brazil?

I don’t know which version this is anymore but it was written as of the 30th of March of 2021. 

Long story short, a third of the government or whatever (I don’t do math) quit or was fired this week.

Early Monday the Minister of Defense was fired. This led to five more secretaries and ministers quitting (among them the ministry for justice and public safety, the attorney general, and the international relationships minister, but that last one was already on it’s way since he got involved in a nazi scadal the week before [yeah] [we do not have the time to get into this on this post]). 

This morning the heads of the Army, the Navy and the Airforce also all resigned. 

Brazilians are all very anxious about this because we do not know what it means or how it will affect politics from now on. 

Let’s turn back a few days to understand the situation: the Bolsonaro government is under the biggest pressure it has ever faced. Today, there have been more than 3700 deaths by covid, and they have been above the 3k for over a week. The economy is bad - inflation is high, and if you turn on the television you will see campaigns for food donation, as we are officially back to people-are-starving-times. The government neglected and refused offers to buy vaccines when they were offered early last year, and we are far, far behind on the amount of doses that are needed, and the hospitals are full in most States. There were no hospital beds available in over 80% of the cities last week for anything. 

So, to say the least, they did not handle being a government well. But they could have gotten away with it, tbh, it wouldn’t even have been hard. What really changed the game in Brazilian politics this month was that our ex-president, Lula, is now apt to run for re-election in 2022. His judgment and condemnation were recently ruled as unfair and are being recalled (for those of you who don’t know, long story short: he was accused of corruption and was in prison so he couldn’t run in the 2018 elections, we can discuss this in a longer post if y’all are curious).

“Wait, wait, do you guys wanna elect a guy who was in prison????” 

well. here’s the thing. at this point I personally would elect ANYONE because it has become obvious that a horse holding a paint brush while ice-skating would make better decisions than our current president. But here’s the thing about Lula: he is beloved. This guy left the presidency with over 80% of approval. This was the man who took the country out of the lists of “countries with people starving” (yeah the ones we’re back into now). And while the corruption trials DID tarnish his image a lot (and i’m not even saying he’s innocent), he is still the most popular candidate to beat Bolsonaro.

So Bolsonaro is nervous, right? The men is a wreck, his approval is lower than ever (although still in the 30%’s), the country is in shambles and he now has a REAL political adversary. 

So we wake up to the news that he’s firing people. 

And we’re all fucking nervous because rumors on the capitol have it that the Minister for Defense was fired after what? after refusing orders to impose military orders on congress and/or on the supreme court. Oh, did I not mention that half the people the president named for cabinets and ministries are military, as is he? 

My bad. Yeah, it’s a government mostly composed by people from the military, also. 

Political analysts now have been seeing the situation in two different ways: (1) either everyone is quitting the boat and the government is melting down, or (2) this man is surrounding himself with loyal people to attempt a coup. And to be fair, if people are leaving because the government is dying (1), that also left a bunch of new spaces for Bolsonaro to do as he pleases with the seats, and maybe get more loyal people involved in whatever is on his head (2). 

To calm the waters, the vice-president [who is also a General] has claimed today that the Military is solid and “would not embark on any coup attempts”, which........ while semi-tranquilizing, has not been true in history. Tomorrow, March 31st, marks the anniversary of our last (official) military coup-d’etat. It was only 57 years ago.   

So. I’m not saying there FOR SURE is gonna be a coup soon, or even that we are sure this is the plan, or that it would be successful (or that Bolsonaro has or hasn’t got the support to do it) - at this point it really is very hard to see through the mess and the chaos that the government purposefully very often creates as distraction. There are other theories, there are other opinions, and there are more details to this story, but one thing is certain: Bolsonaro is now a cornered animal, and those are the most dangerous. Perhaps this is why half his cabinets are emptying, perhaps it is not, but regardless, we will all have to keep our eyes very much open tomorrow and for the rest of his term. 

TLDR: Half the Bolsonaro government quit or was fired and we’re all fucking scared this is gonna somehow lead to a coup attempt but who the fuck knows. 

#bolsonaro #politics #brazilian politics #br #brazil #brasil #politica brasileira #jair bolsonaro #governo bolsonaro #lula #coup #military #brazilian

[little-diable]

Dr. Cullen - Carlisle Cullen (smut)

Missed writing for daddy Carlisle, enjoy this smutty escape from reality my loves. xxx

Summary: She has been obsessing over her professor for ages and now - as he offers her an internship as his medical assistant - she can only wonder if she’s just daydreaming once again.

Warnings: 18+, smut, p in v, age gap, unprotected sex, professor x student relationship 

Pairing: Dr./Professor!Carlisle x medical student!reader

3k+ words @hidingsikki​ beta reader

Every step he’d take appeared more effortless than the one before, as if he was floating over the floor, blonde hair perfectly gelled into place, complimenting his fair skin, those golden eyes that twinkled in the uncomfortable light. 

He was a handsome man, his students - women and men - were thirsting over the professor, they’d ask one question after another, desperate to hear the soft, calm voice that had them entranced.

“Alright, I’ll stay behind for the next few minutes, please come and find me, if you have any questions. Oh, and don’t forget, you have time till next week to tell me, where you’ll do your internship.”

Professor Cullen closed his book, eyes wandering across the room, catching her curious ones, the ones he’d find himself drowning in if he wasn’t careful enough. 

She reminded him of a deer, pupils wide, carefully taking her steps as she was trotting through the forest, not noticing the predator just yet. He’d rip her to shreds at any given chance, and would let her bleed out as he’d suck all life out of her.

He hadn’t felt this for the past centuries, the lump in his throat as her scent engulfed him, forcing itself into his dead system, if he wouldn’t pay enough attention he’d trip right back into his primal ways, the hungry need to taste her. She was everything he’d always been scared of, a gorgeous woman that had managed to gain his interest, luring the vampire right into her trap.

She was one of his top students, a soon-to-be nurse that was attentive as ever, hanging onto his every word, soaking up his every lesson, scared that she’d forget the smallest detail.

(Y/n) couldn’t deny the attraction she felt towards the tall professor, the man whose name would burn on her lips as she’d dream of him, the man who would pat her trembling hand as she’d ask him questions, the man who would touch her as careful as possible as if she’d fall apart any second now.

“Doctor Cullen?”

Golden, honey-colored eyes met hers. Her breath hitched in her chest, hot blood shot through her vessels, he always had that effect on her. Carlisle’s gaze wandered down to her throat, swallowing down the insatiable hunger that arose in the pit of his stomach. “What can I do for you, (y/n)?”

The way he spoke her name shot shudders down her body, hands tightening their grip on her bag, she’d pass out before he’d say another word.

“It’s about the internship, I-“ she cleared her throat, tongue running along her lip, a movement that didn’t go unnoticed by the attentive professor “- I still haven’t found a hospital where I could do my internship, most of them didn’t even reply to my inquiry. I was wondering if you could tell me, where else I could try my luck?”

He studied her shifting frame for a moment, (y/n)’s teeth ran along her lower lip, a nervous habit of hers, shifting her weight as she was patiently waiting for his reply. “I’m still looking for an assistant, how would you feel about working for me?”

Carlisle sat down on his table, hands holding onto the tabletop, restraining himself, keeping him from ripping open her blouse, the thin fabric of her jeans. If he wouldn’t get a grip on himself soon he’d take her right in front of the other students, claiming her in more ways than just one.

Her mouth closed and shut itself, processing his proposal, knowing that she’d struggle to say focused next to him - hell she couldn’t even concentrate as he was standing right in front of her. Professor Cullen could talk about all and nothing and she’d still cling to his every word, borderline obsessed with the man.

“That would be an honor professor.”

She had replied before she could think twice, digging herself a grave she wouldn't be able to climb out of, a grave that would tie her to him for the upcoming weeks. Horror scenarios kept on flooding through her mind, very well knowing that she’d embarrass herself - at any given chance.

Later that day as she was pacing around in her living room an email caught her attention, Dr. Cullens's name screamed at her, forcing her to take a look closer, squealing as she read through the small text. She’d have to turn up at the Forks Hospital tomorrow morning, he’d wait for her in his office and would introduce her to his team.

Anxiety crawled up her spine, pushing her into another overthinking state, wondering about all the things that could go wrong, the people she’d bump into, disappointing the professor before the day was over. But the thought of seeing him in his uniform left her body tingling, undeniably attracted to the handsome man.

Even though she barely caught any sleep that night (y/n) turned up at the hospital with a bright smile on her lips, getting lost one or two times before she’d found his office. He had opened the door for her before she could knock, shaking her hand, cold skin pressed against her warm one.

He’d take it slow on her first day, hoping that he was making her feel welcomed, not letting her out of his sight once. Obsessively studying her every move, analyzing every word that spilled from her kissable lips. But she seemed oblivious to his intense stare, probably because her mind was overly focused on her surroundings.

“Here you go,” a hot cup of coffee found its way to her, sinking down further in the overly comfortable chair in his office. A small moan spilled from her lips, indulging in the taste, welcoming the warm sensation that flooded through her system. The sound shot right through him, muscles flexing, gaze hardening.

The slight shift in the air didn’t go by unnoticed by her, trying to swallow down the need to apologize, body burning in embarrassment. “You did good today, I’m proud of you.”

If she wouldn’t have known about her praise kink she would have definitely discovered it now, lips pulled into a cheeky grin. She thanked him, taking another sip to stop any hushed words from leaving her. “Thank you for offering me this opportunity.”

They fell into some sort of a routine, would understand one another without having to speak actual words, perfectly complementing each other. Carlisle would keep her company on their breaks, would learn more and more about the woman he was hungry for, the woman that occupied his thoughts at any given chance, the woman he was slowly losing his sanity over. Sometimes he would pick her up in the mornings, savoring the quiet time they’d spend in his car, mindless small talk getting shared.

She had it bad.

Every word that would roll off his tongue would intensify the feelings she fostered, would push her further into her obsession with her professor. But being around him felt too good, she wouldn’t ever find the strength to tell him no. She’d stay overtime, she’d work with him through his night shifts, worrying for the man she had never seen eating something before, wondering how he’d survive those endless seeming hours.

“Let me drive you home,” he reached for her bag, helped her into her coat, shooting down any words of protest, “It’s the least I can do.” It had been a night like any other, as they walked out of the hospital it must have been around 3 am. Darkness engulfed them, kept them hidden in its shadows, binding them closer together.

By the time he arrived at her house, she was out like a light, head pressed against the window, lips slightly parted. Carlisle couldn’t help but admire her, taking in every inch of her features, the soft hair he wanted to tug on, the skin he wanted to suck on, making her feel things she had never felt before.

“Love,” his voice ripped her from her sleep, rambling a small apology, about to leave the car, but his hand stopped her from doing so, tightly clamped down on her wrist. She had turned her head too fast, lips brushing against his before she had even realized what was going on. He didn’t give her any room to move away from him, carefully kissing her, not wanting to bruise her skin just yet.

“Do you want to come inside?”

(Y/n) wasn’t sure where her confidence came from, maybe she was too drunk on his taste, the touches that burned on her skin, maybe she was just too tired to care, whatever it was, it gave her the final push to ask the highly unprofessional question. But fate seemed to be on her side, rooting for the smirking student and her chuckling professor.

They stumbled up the stairs, lips meeting every now and then, hands tugging and squeezing one another’s skin, desperate to get rid of the layers of clothes between them. He felt alive, like a youngling that had just discovered his primal urges, something he hadn’t felt in decades, centuries even.

His cold lips kissed down her throat, with his hands on her behind he pressed her against the door, trying to take it slow, to stop himself from fucking her right there and then. Carlisle respected her, didn’t just want her to still his insatiable hunger. “Bedroom,” her hushed voice rumbled through him, words vibrating on his lips.

The honey-colored eyes of his ran along her frame as if he could see right through her clothes, basking in her beauty, skin tingling, asking to feel hers pressed against his.

Though just as her body tumbled to the mattress, hands reaching for the dark scarf (y/n) had wanted to tug on from the first moment she had laid her eyes upon it - his phone rang. A shrill tune echoed through her bedroom, bursting their bubble of comfort. 

With an apologetic expression, Carlisle reached for the phone, rising from the overly comfortable bed.

With a small “sorry” leaving his lips he darted out of the bedroom, out of her apartment, towards the car that had left her street before she could blink. She didn’t move, wondering if she had only imagined the past minutes, wondering if her exhausted brain had pushed her into a dream that felt as real as it could be, confusing the student.

But his lips had left some marks on her skin, reminding her that he had been hovering above her, kissing her as she had always hoped he would.

As morning came around she forced herself out of her bed with an uneven heartbeat rumbling in her chest, blood rushed through her veins, pumping adrenaline through her system.

What should she say to him? Would he ask her about the previous night? The inappropriate kisses they had shared?

He was already in the E.R. as she turned up at the hospital, slumping down in the chair in his office, patiently waiting for him to turn up. The scent of his expensive cologne lingered in the air, telling her that he had been in this very room not too long ago, scribbling down his notes as he’d normally do.

“(Y/n)?” A panicked nurse called for her, pulling her out of the room, down the hallway - straight to the E.R. “He asked for you, change and disinfect your hands - hurry.”

Everything was a bit blurry for her, body working on its own, changing into the sterile clothes, hiding her hair underneath her hat, covering most of her face with her mask, ready to follow his commands. A relieved sigh spilled from his lips, eyes meeting hers. Carlisle mumbled a small “morning”, calmly telling her what to do, watching her every move.

Praises would leave him, complementing (y/n) for everything she did, body undeniably falling for his charm, savoring the proud words he spoke. She stayed focused, managed to drown out the annoying, nagging inner voice that left her aching for the man with flawless features.

Every time his hand brushed against hers, every time his cold breath crashed against her burning skin she felt goosebumps rise on the spots, pushing herself further into his personal space. “You did good in there (y/n).”

His calm, soothing voice wrapped itself around her, shoulders bumping as he brushed past her, waiting for (y/n) to clean herself up. No words left them, walking side by side, towards his office, desperate for some privacy, any chance to clear things up between them. 

But while she was thinking of an apology, anything to express how sorry she felt for crossing that one line, Carlisle could only think about her lips, how they’ve felt pressed against his.

The second they stepped into his office he had her pressed against the door, it felt like a déjà-vu, bodies following one another, giving into their needs. “I am sorry for leaving yesterday-” he had tried to come up with an explanation, though Carlisle couldn't think of a way to tell her how his son had just saved the girl he was crushing on, protecting her from strangers, rushing towards the scene, clearing things up.

She couldn’t reply, could only moan his name, pressing herself against his growing bulge, white trousers rubbing against his, kiss growing more passionate, more sloppy. With one quick move he had (y/n) placed on his desk, nestling between her parted thighs, gaining more access to her heat. 

He could smell her arousal dripping out of her folds, soaking through her panties, he could hear her heartbeat picking up its pace, skipping a few beats. Her body was telling Carlisle everything he needed to know, reading her as only a supernatural predator could. The intoxicating scent of her had its hold on him, stuck to his skin, reminding him of her wherever he’d go to, not once would he ever be able to forget about her.

“I-touch me, please.”

A dark growl rumbled through him, lips connected to her throat, hands pushing her down against the wooden tabletop, fumbling with her trousers. “Tell me, if you want me to stop.” - Always the gentleman, scared to hurt her, caring for her like no other man had ever done before.

He nipped on her skin, sucking another mark into the spot, claiming her as his, a clear sign for any attentive colleagues. 

Way too slow for her liking he undid her white trousers, pulling them down her legs, damp panties following shortly after. His cold fingers did little to soothe the aching heat between her thighs, thumb connected to the sensitive bundle of nerves, the sweetness that called out to him.

“A needy little girl, begging for her professor to touch her. Tell me, does it feel good, love?”

An overly pathetic whimper rolled off her tongue, sobbing his name as she tried to shuffle herself closer, not nearly as satisfied with his light touches. “I asked you a question, be a good girl and reply.”

His voice grew darker, as hoarse as it could be, forcing her to blabber some incoherent praises, repeating the “so, so good” over and over again. She was a needy, desperate thing, hungry for the man that was by far older than she could have guessed. No other man would manage to tame her carnal need, the hunger that left her breathless, confused even.

“Look at me, keep your eyes open.”

She tried - really did - though the second his thumb picked up its pace her eyelids fluttered close, back arched off the table, giving into the heavenly feeling. Her breath caught in her chest, fighting against the need to clamp her thighs together, she was close, about to give into her orgasm, screaming his name for the whole hospital to hear.

But Carlisle snapped her right out of it, hands letting go of her, undoing his own trousers as her glassy eyes - the lust blow pupils of hers - stared at him. His cock sprang free, exposed to her hungry gaze, giving her a few moments to admire, to worship his size, the length that would glisten with her arousal, the length that would rip her apart.

“Need to be quiet, can you do that for me, love?”

Their lips found one another, kisses got shared as he eased himself into her tightness, spreading the velvety walls of hers around his throbbing cock. “Oh fuck.” Her whimpers were like music to his ears, coaxing one sound after another out of her, fucking her nice and slow, building up a rhythm that had her going crazy, losing her mind with his name on her tongue.

(Y/n) rose her hips, trying to meet his thrust, silently begging him to pick up his pace, needed him to fuck her into oblivion. But the clicking of his tongue left her frozen on the spot, not daring to move any longer, scared to disappoint the man she had been chasing for way too long. 

Now - as she was finally buried underneath him - (y/n) needed to play her cards right.

“Please,” no other words left her, mind too fogged up by the lust that ran through her body, hooked up on the thought of him. Carlisle was making her see stars, thrusting deeper into her heat, reaching the spot that would make her cum within a few seconds, body going rigid. (Y/n) chanted his name, begging for her release, to let her walls flutter around his impressive size.

But he wasn’t quite there just yet.

His cold hands ran up and down her spread thighs, leaving bruises wherever he touched her. Though the moment he finally touched her clit she was done for, crying a breathless “Carlisle”.

“Let me watch you cum, I got you, love.” Her orgasm knocked all air out of her lungs, vision blurred, sending electricity right through her. Carlisle reached his own peak, trembling as he gave in, their fluids getting mixed together.

The sight was everything he had been hoping for and more, she looked insanely gorgeous, crying for him, holding onto him as if he was her saviour in the darkest hours, protecting her.

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[lavandermin]

if all stars fell at once (1) | xiao

pairing | xiao/reader

word count | 3k

genre | fluff, light angst, developing relationship, overall domestic

warning | eventual smut

The memory comes clear as the crystalline waters at the harbor. That day when rain poured mercilessly upon the land— the boy in a mask whose body trembled under an invisible burden. You remember the dark splotches on his body being washed away by downpour.

Blood.

Polearm supporting his body as it heaved, his face slowly turned to face you as an ominous dark mist accumulated around him. And when you blinked, it was as if he was never there; replaced by rain.

Whether it was the haze of sleepless nights getting to you or reality, you still had yet to know. Curiosity was fresh in your mind. His presence… though brief, held immense power and a tainted aura; enough to instill fear in the hearts of any who witnessed them. But you stood there, unwavering and eyes alight with awe and curiosity despite the rain that hailed mercilessly around you.

Weeks continued, and the image of the boy remained somewhere in your subconscious. Days came and went as your mind remained hazed, clouded with the fleeting memory.

The dark clouds overhead brought in strong winds; a sign of a storm rolling in. The laundry hanging outside would surely be swept away at this rate. Quick on your feet, you hurriedly pulled them off the clotheslines. Yet despite your efforts, a couple handkerchiefs you had embroidered were blown away by a harsh gust of wind.

“Ah…!” Despite your attempt, the wind plucked them out of reach. All you could do was helplessly watch as they were carried by devious winds further down the mountain.

Those were for… Ah, I guess I’ll have to redo those, you pondered anxiously. If they were all to be delivered in 3 days, you would have to stay up fairly late just to finish replacing them.

The candle light cracked and flickered as night crept over Liyue. No use stalling. With a sullen crack of your neck, you shut the windows and got to work. The relentless rain was your sole company as you worked through embroidering the replacements well into the night. Despite the nimbleness of experienced hands, numbness settled in after hours of working tirelessly to replace the delicately embroidered handkerchiefs. And with patterns and threads so intricate, they weren’t something you could rush.

The moon came and went that night, having accompanied you behind the storming clouds as it rained and ceased. Yet, late the next day when you returned from running errands, there upon your open windowsill were two neatly folded handkerchiefs safely held in place by a beautiful stone. You examined them— with no doubt, the ones that were swept away.

And as a breeze picked up once more, you didn’t dare look back but hoped the wind would carry your words to the deserving.

“Thank you.”

:

.

.

That was the first time in over a millennia that Xiao was thanked by a mortal for one of his many silent deeds.

———

Soft colors of fading blue and powdery orange iced the sky with the setting sun. You reminisced past memories fondly as you picked a few herbs from your personal garden. The day was slowly dwindling to a lethargic end, but the land ceased to fall into rest to savor most of what the day had to offer.

“Do you remember that, Adeptus Xiao?” you asked with a fond smile. It was met with silence for a moment before a voice spoke up from the roof of your house.

“So, you knew I was here. Mortals truly are something I cannot understand,” he clicked his tongue, shifting to get comfortable where he rested comfortably on your roof. “Or perhaps, it’s that our ties are too strong. Curious…” He pondered to himself, brows slightly furrowed as he contemplated.

With a stretch of your back you stood up, basket in hand. “I know my grandmother’s home is rather quiet here in Qingce Village, so I’ve noticed the roof has become a favorite spot of yours,” you observed with a small shrug he couldn’t see. “Call it a hunch.”

Though he wouldn’t admit it, Xiao knew your guess was right. With your home tucked furthest away at the top of the village, there were seldom any onlookers in the tranquil area. A perfect, stress-free corner for him to visit.

With a huff and trained grace, he hopped off the roof on playful winds and followed you indoors. There was still a cautious air about him but never the same as when you first met him all those months ago.

It seemed like you understood him more than he understood you sometimes, and it puzzled him to no end. Mortals were usually more predictable; working in routine and habits as he had seen of the many centuries that passed. Or… at least he thought. It was no secret that he found mortals to be indecipherable.

In the small kitchen, he was presented with an enticing dish that you laid out; his favorite, no doubt. “Here. I’m heading out to the harbor to run some last minute errands, but you’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like,” you reassured him with a smile. “Thank you for keeping me company today.”

At your genuine, radiant smile, Xiao couldn’t help but avert his gaze shyly. Truthfully, it always caught him off guard to be thanked for such trivial things that were somehow meaningful to you.

Before you reached the front door, Xiao called out after you. “If you are out late, summon me— call my name. I will guide you safely home.” With firm reassurance, he held your gaze under piercing amber. “Promise me this. Do not be reckless.”

There was no fighting the grin that lit up your face. “You worry for me, Adeptus?” you teasingly prodded, and placed a quick peck on his cheek. “How unexpectedly cute of you.”

At the gesture, his eyes widened for a fraction of a second before his composure returned. Pensively, he folded his arms across his chest, and you swore he could practically be pouting.

“The safety of Liyue is my duty as an adeptus. As a tool to be used, and nothing more.”

There was a brief sorrow reflected in your eyes, and before Xiao had a chance to address it, you were hurriedly giving your final goodbyes with your usual warm energy.

“I promise I’ll be safe.”

Left to himself, he accepted your gifted offering of almond tofu. I love the way your eyes practically sparkle when you take that first bite, you once teased.

The memory picked up the thrumming in his chest— uncertainty accompanied by rose-dusted cheeks.

With each delicate bite, his mind upheld more questions. The feelings that burst subtly in his chest— what were they? He searched his heart for answers to describe it. Peace of mind? Loneliness?

As many times as his mind decided to go through the same painful cycle of thoughts, ultimately he was left with more questions than when he started. There were no answers within him.

Such as the moon replaces the sun and the days dwindle into night, he too would let it be for now.

And as the sun slowly retreated more and more behind mountains and thin clouds, Xiao couldn’t help but wonder why he continued to keep near you. A tie foraged with a mortal that strangely did not instill the overwhelming need to leave.

Even the room he was in caused no discomfort or suffocation. The cycle started once again as he wondered, why? He often resided at Wangshu Inn, but never in a room. The rooftop high above any wandering souls was his claimed accommodation. The balcony just below that was seldom used by guests was the only other space he occupied there— eyes able to survey the land from a higher vantage point.

However, here in this small shelter you called home there was none of that, yet he stayed. Curiously, his eyes wandered the room to take in the oddities and trinkets that were used as decorum. The bookshelf across the room posed with great importance, and as he approached it he took in the vast collection of books and small items that decorated some empty sections.

Gloved fingers grazed over the elegant, gold-foil titles of some of the books. Some he has partially read before, or listened to you read aloud while he rested on your lap under the large tree outside.

He found himself plucking one out tentatively, flipping through some pages of a thick storybook with worn corners. Another book from the shelf— a thin book of floral poems and sonnets. His mind idly worked to put together what these books could possibly say about you.

After neatly putting another book away, a small glint caught his eyes. Toward the end of one of the shelf rows was a pile of three books with a precious stone sitting atop them.

Ah, the cor lapis stone he had used when he silently returned the two missing handkerchiefs to you many moons ago. An unknown feeling settled in his chest, warm & persistent. It flourished— euphoric, almost, and not too unpleasant. He wondered if it was somehow related to similar chest pains he’d dealt with. Could he really call it ‘pain’ if it wasn’t truly hurting him? The feeling was foreign and he was utterly clueless.

He moved the stone to check the book underneath, flipping through the pages curiously. Amber eyes indifferently skimmed through a page his finger landed on, curious to what contents the vague title held.

A romantic novel from the looks of it.

The words were needlessly descriptive, the dialogue a little confusing to understand. Such flowery language was a bit bold and the more he read, the more the imagery they tried to paint became vivid in his mind and—

Xiao quickly shut the book, his face warm as he neatly returned the book to its rightful place. Well, it was an interesting book to have in your possession, to say the least. He didn’t have much experience with what it described, but the erotic imagery the dialogue described still left his face a little flushed and brows furrowed as he huffed in indignance at his flustered state.

Mortals do such things? Well, he knew they did, but he was never one to look into it more since he had no reason to.

He had no experience in such intimate matters, nor did he pay much interest in them with his hands usually full on a daily basis. Yet, somehow the thought of you now caused a swirl of emotions inexperienced by him before. Or rather, if he did, he no longer remembered. New questions piled up in his mind.

He shook his head, practically wincing at the odd sensations that kicked him low in the gut as the heat rising high on his cheeks subsided.

“How bothersome,” Xiao muttered to himself with a sigh.

On that same train of thought, he glanced out the window. The sun was merely a whisper that remained as it tucked itself farther behind mountains and dipped below the horizon.

Gloved hands momentarily clenched by his sides, flexing to ease the small seed of doubt. Mortals were unpredictable and reckless, that much he was aware of. With a sigh he watched as the sky over Liyue settled into the tranquility of night.

Though night had fallen, there was still no sign of you returning.

And so, Xiao set off on his usual routine. Out he ventured to vanquish the scattered hotspots of evil activity that surfaced. Be it from subdued gods or his own karma, Xiao relentlessly made quick work of any and all evil.

It was his eternal duty, as bound by contract from the Geo Archon himself—this he knew. If anyone should have witnessed his swiftness as he worked solemnly, they would’ve noticed how he worked just a little harder to clear out any evil nearing your usual route home.

The moon rose high in the sky, a dusty blue as it cast soft light over Xiao’s masked form. His polearm jabbed into the ground and dissipated along with the yaksha mask he donned for battle. The roads that led back to Qingce Village were all cleared, yet still no sign of you.

Approaching the marsh under blue moonlight, his gloved hands created ripples in the calm surface. The reflection of his concerned eyes stared right back at him through the tumultuous ripples that distorted his reflection over playful waters.

Under the watchful eye of the moon, Xiao diligently washed away the impurities that remained on him from battle. Clear waters surrounding him became murky before clearing once again as the blood and grime was carried further down with the current. Xiao closed his eyes and allowed himself to bask under the moonlight, taking in the rare moment of tranquility.

And then it rang out, soft and clear like a wind chime dancing with the gentle breeze.

Adeptus Xiao.

Shrouded by darkness, he answered your summons. As the thin veil of dark entity surrounding him dispersed, he found himself next to a bridge. The waterfall behind him brought a refreshing breeze, and just beyond him he could see Bubu Pharmacy below as well as the harbor.

“You called,” Xiao inquired. “It’s fairly late.”

He wasn’t here to admonish you, though it sounded very much like it. With a playful grin, you smiled up at him from where you sat on the grass next to the bridge.

The way you carried yourself without a care in the world— it was almost endearing how you looked up at him with such fondness.

“Can I ask why you’re here of all places?”

Your nimble fingers continued their work on the flowers you had in your lap, and you almost looked away bashfully. “I wanted to gaze at the stars for a bit,” you admitted sheepishly. “I finished my errands earlier, but then I ran into Mister Zhongli from the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor and, well… The conversation went on for a while and we ended up here.”

Silently, Xiao took a seat next to you, eyeing the handful of glaze lilies that softly glowed on your lap.

“What did you talk about?” he inquired to fill the silence. He delicately twirled one of the glaze lilies between his gloved fingers.

“Oh… this and that,” you shrugged.

Xiao hummed in response, not wanting to pry into the conversation, until he felt the softness of petals brushing his forehead.

“Mister Zhongli… he showed me how to make this.” There was hesitation in your downcast eyes, and you peered up at him through your eyelashes. “Do you like it?”

“A crown of… glaze lilies,” Xiao noted slowly. Their soft fragrance was delicate and sweet, like the gentle presence of the moon. It reminded him of you. “I’m unfamiliar with mortal customs of exchanges. Is it an adeptal offering?”

You blinked, taken by surprise at the question before sputtering out in a fit of giggles.

“Oh– No, no! This is what we call a gift.”

Xiao furrowed his brows, taking in this vague description. “Hm… I see. What meaning does this gift have?”

You perched your chin on your finger, contemplating. The only ‘gifts’ adepti were familiar with were the offerings that few who went before them brought. Usually, an offering entailed the bargaining of a mortal’s wants and desires to come true. Selfish, wishes he was all too familiar with hearing often.

“Gifts are given to people you consider special,” you started. “To those people who are important to you, usually you put extra effort into the gift. Handmade gifts as well… embody special significance since they hold all the feelings poured into them to be given to your special person.”

The chirps of crickets and running water soothed over the momentary silence as he took in your explanation. Mortal customs were more emotionally driven than he once thought.

“I see. Then,” Xiao delicately tucked the glaze lily he held into your hair. “This is my small offering.”

The rose that dusted your cheeks as your grin lit up your features, it bloomed his chest with that foreign warmth. The weight of reciprocating the gesture without a second thought— he had just openly admitted to considering you a special person. It felt… right.

In the lateness of the cool night, you both sat side by side looking out at the display of glittering stars. He felt as your pulse would briefly quicken under his gloved hand whenever you stole a quick glance at him, and he would offer a gentle squeeze of reassurance in response. Curious, this human next to him— and yet he found himself enraptured by your simple presence.

Across the endless sky, you halted what you were idly chatting about as a speckle of light shot across the sky.

“A falling star… There’s rumors that making a wish on them will help it come true.” Xiao hummed in response, eyes closed in peaceful tranquility. “Hm…”

You pulled your knees closer to you as you contemplated your wish. Xiao watched you with one eye open, observing the way your features subtly scrunched up as you profoundly debated within you what your wish would be.

“So.”

“So?”

“What did you wish for?” Xiao asked quietly.

Mortal desires were usually the same. Wealth, power, lavish items— these wishes Xiao had heard of many times before. Yet—

“I wished…,” you scratched your cheek sheepishly. “I wished for a restful sleep.”

Your cheeks were quick to flush a deep crimson as you heard what sounded like a chuckle next to you. It dawned on you that you had never heard Xiao laugh until now. It was melodic, innocent.

“D-Don’t laugh!” you halfheartedly admonished with a playful huff. “Well, then— What’s your wish, Xiao?”

He pondered for a moment, closed his eyes and spoke soft as the flitting breeze.

“I wish to get to know you better.”

Perhaps he didn’t have all the right words at that moment, but he was bound to discover them sooner or later. Somehow, he was sure you would be the light that guided him the right way to go about these foreign feelings— feelings he was sure weren’t malignant, so he allowed them to persist.

These unsorted feelings for you... they weren’t getting in the way of anything. They were harmless, until proven otherwise.

#xiao #xiao x reader #xiao/reader #genshin xiao #genshin #fluff #developing relationship #pwp #eventual smut #mostly xiao not knowing what he’s doing #zhongli #genshin impact #fic: iasfao #mii writes #I forget how to tag sorry it’s been a while #adeptus xiao #I’ll edit format later

[mellowyandere]

SCP Academia Eraserhead Part 3

Reader: F

Characters: Aizawa Shouta

Summary: You’ve been stuck in the stuffy cabin with no one but “Shouta” to keep you company. He won’t even tell you what day it is. November is quickly approaching...

Length: 3K

Warning: non-con, yandere themes, size kink, bondage, vaginal fingering, oral sex, vaginal sex, praise kink, breeding kink 

When you first woke up you were completely thrown off by your new environment. You had been in the bowls of the SCP foundation for years, only occasionally venturing outside to gather intel on potential new SCP’s. Your new home was a small cabin of sorts. One bedroom and one bathroom, with just enough space left over for the kitchen and living room. The house was run by a generator outside, which your oh so gracious host made sure you never got to see. 

He had insisted you call him by his “human” name Shouta. As to why he never mentioned it before? “No one but you deserved to know it,” he had huffed out, as if it was obvious. 

Shouta was incredibly stingy with information, no matter how much you questioned him. What happened to the foundation? Where did he bring you? Why did he bring you here, better yet how? Each question was met with a shrug of his shoulders or a mumbled “that doesn’t matter now.” 

You had given up a couple weeks ago, the man had no intention of letting you get a solid grasp of anything. Especially the date. The foundation breach had occurred sometime in mid September, leaving only a month and a half before November. He was purposefully hiding the information from you like the stingy bastard he was. 

Stingy bastard wasn't exactly fair though. He had been nothing but polite, trying his best to give you things he’d think you’d enjoy and providing for you in ways that surprised you. For example, the man was a phenomenal cook, which looking back explains his utter disdain for any food he had been served at the foundation. 

The main issue was his need to touch you. Pulling you into his lap to engulf you in his long muscular limbs and tendrils, or coming up behind you and placing his large hands on your hips. You were not accustomed to the contact and not very keen on it either. You threw an absolute shit fit when he tried to bathe you, and he, to his credit, let you be. He might have sat on the couch pouting for a couple hours, but eventually got over himself. 

The longer you were stuck with him, the touchier he seemed to get. You dodged him the best you could but finally he had had enough. You normally opted to sleep on the couch, not wanting to share the only bed with him. It was one of many small acts of defiance at your limited disposal. As night fell you crawled onto your makeshift bed, only to be pulled up over the back of the couch by two strong arms. 

“Hey! What gives!”

“I tried to ease you into this but you’re being rather stubborn. From now on you sleep with me.” Shouta didn’t want to push his affection on you too much, hoping you’d come around and open up to him. But time was running out and he needed to make sure he didn’t snap when November finally came. 

“Maybe if you’d answer my questions I’d humor you more!” You felt like you were going insane stuck in here. Was this what he used to feel like trapped in the foundation? No. He had had it one hundred times worse than you, but hardly ever complained.

You squirmed and wriggled in his grip. He growled lowly in his throat, the vibrations rumbling through his chest. You stilled in his arms. With long strides it only took a few steps before he plopped you down on the large sturdy bed. 

“Stay.” You rolled your eyes. He was a man of few words. But you remained, he’d just drag you in here again if you got up. Even though he had been nothing but patient, you felt as if you were reaching the end of his limits. 

-----------

The days spent with Shouta were rather boring. You’d read books to pass the time, or stare longingly out the window. He was never much of a conversationist, but now only seemed willing to talk if you’d make physical contact with him. All in all, the house was too damn quiet.

Thankfully nights spent in his bed were relatively uneventful. He’d try to slowly pull you closer to him but you’d snap and he’d begrudgingly relent. Though that didn’t change the fact that you’d wake up smothered in his embrace, but you’d just wriggle out again. 

As days continue to pass his fuse was getting shorter and shorter, you could feel the shift in his demeanor. Low growls at your attempts to distance yourself. Sharps eyes never leaving you. He was always one step behind you, personal space no longer an option. 

------------

You woke up groggy. Why was it so hot? You tried to move but found yourself immobile. You... you couldn't open you eyes?! No wait... yes you could. But a blindfold of sorts kept you from seeing anything. It was warm, just like the bindings on your body. Tendrils. He had you completely wrapped up in his tendrils. You were laying flat on your back, arms bound above your head. 

Then you heard him. Low deep pants. His hot breath fanned against your neck, his nose brushed under your chin. 

“Sho-Shouta?” At the sound of his name he groaned into the soft flesh of your neck. He tried so hard to resist touching you, he really had. But with the month of November upon him he had run out of control.

His large body was on top of you, though he supported himself as to not crush you. “My sweet little stubborn human” he cooed into your neck. “I'm going to take such good care of you...” he almost sounded a bit delirious?

His tongue darted out, hot and wet against your flesh. 

“Wait! Hold on, stop! Shouta pl-please cut it out!” You began to struggle, his tendrils gently sliding over your exposed form. When did he take your clothes off? 

“Y/N..” he growled out.

“Please.. let me at least see.” You needed to try and gain some control back. This situation wasn't looking good. Shouta was deadly when November came. You weren’t sure what this was right now, but you needed to get some control over him before he tried to kill you.

The creature obliged your request. Blood red predatory eyes pierced your own as soon as you had adjusted to the dark. His long black hair lazily defied gravity. He seemed larger, if that was even possible. His deathly pale torso had tendrils jutting out in all different directions, some aimlessly whipping through the air, but most were wrapped snuggly around your body.

Looking further down you realized you weren’t the only person completely naked. His bare hips were pressed flat to the bed between your own as he slowly rutted against the sheets. Due to your restraints you couldn’t really see much else. 

Leaning down he placed his lips on your neck, softly sucking and nipping at your flesh. 

“So beautiful.. so perfect” he whispered. He began to move down your body, soft lips leaving your skin with goosebumps. He paused at your breasts, one of his large hands coming up to play with your right breast while his mouth claimed your left nipple. His tongue made quick work of hardening your sensitive bud. His teeth came out and gently bit down, causing you to whimper.

You couldn’t give into his ministrations, it would only encourage him. “Shouta please, you have to stop! What if you hurt me?” His mouth released from your breast, his lust filled eyes lazily looking up at you as his tongue continued to circle your nipple. With a sigh he pulled away.

“I would never hurt you my precious little human.”

His free hand drew slow circles onto the outside of your thigh. Continuing his journey downwards he licked and nipped your skin until finally settling between your trembling thighs. He wasn't paying your worry any mind as he took his time drinking your body in. He had been such a good mate, had been so patient. Surely you’d understand...

His tongue darted out experimentally, gently lapping at your folds. You bit back a groan as he hummed in satisfaction, face nestling further into your legs for better access as he used his tendrils to move your legs over his shoulder. His stubble was coarse against your inner thighs. More tendrils came out to ensure your breasts were not forgotten. You bit back a moan as they continued where his hand and mouth had left off.

He greedily began to devour you, inhumanly long tongue delving deep inside you as he groaned, sending vibrations through your cunt. Pulling his tongue out he moved up a bit to gently wrap his lips around your clit. With his tendrils covering your body he could feel your every twitch in response to his ministrations. He wanted to make you fall apart beneath him. 

“Sho-ah-Shouta please! Don’t do th-” you were cut off mid sentence. One of his tendrils found their way to your mouth, pushing its way inside your wet cavern and essentially gagging you. You clamped down hard, which only caused the creature on top of you to shudder in ecstasy. He could make them quite sensitive after all. 

You tried to relax, nothing you did seemed to deter him. Maybe not responding would cause him to lose interest? You tried to remain still, until you felt his finger gently prodding at your entrance. You began to squirm with renewed vigor, your pleas muffled by his tendrils. 

“Such an impatient little human. I know what you want but I need to get you ready first or else I might hurt you.”

Slowly he began to pump his finger into your tight hole. His saliva acted as a good starting lubricant, your own juices beginning to aid when that wasn’t enough. Shit, why did he have to be so fucking good at this?! He worked his digit in further and further, your walls clenching down eagerly, until finally he was knuckle deep. 

Continuing to work your sensitive clit with his expert mouth, he pulled his finger out and gently began to add another. Two fingers pushed in, just as excruciatingly slow as the first time. Gentle pumps of his hand worked to allow your small human body to compensate for his larger form. 

You couldn't help but rut your hips forward as your mind began to fog with pleasure. It shouldn't feel this good, he wasn't even doing that much! You needed to stop him, needed to stop reacting to him. 

And yet you found your walls desperately clamping down on his fingers as he slowly drug them out. His methodical pattern continued for awhile until he changed his approach. Expert fingers began to probe with a purpose as he hunted for just the right spot. It didn’t take him long. 

You moaned into his tendrils, back arching as he finally found what he had been looking for. With renewed vigor he used his fingers to attack, while his mouth continued its assault on your bundle of nerves. 

If he continued at this pace you wouldn't last much longer. Your legs trembled, thighs tightening against his head. Your walls began to flutter around his fingers, your mewls and moans were still muffled, but they sent delicious tingles running down his spine. 

No you couldn't you had to stop! But you had no choice. The combination of his devilish mouth and pinpoint accurate fingers were too much. You closed your eyes as your orgasm washed over you. He continued to pump his fingers in and out, but pulled back to watch the bliss wash over your face. 

“Such a good girl, so beautiful,” he cooed as you came undone. Just as he had planned. He pulled his tendril from your mouth and watched as you panted, still trying to gain control of yourself. Unfortunately for you, he wasn't about to let that happen. 

After wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand he leaned up and captured your mouth in his own. You could still taste yourself on his tongue. You had come down from your high after your orgasm and resumed your pathetic struggling, surely he had had his fill? 

His hands planted firmly on your hips as he pulled away from you, lips leaving a small trail of saliva as he loomed over you. He pulled your body up off the bed with his tendrils, maneuvering you so your legs were wrapped around his waist.

“Be a good girl for me and relax, I don’t want this to be painful for you.”

With that he slowly began to move you down until finally you felt the tip of his cock pressing against your outer folds. He had you oddly suspended in his embrace, leaving you no where to retreat to as he rubbed the large head against your wet core. 

All of his focus right now was staring down at where his cock was teasing you. He was inhumanly large, and just dipping the tip in made it obvious enough. This was going to be a tight fit. 

“Shouta please, it won’t fit you’re too big.” His eyes looked up into your own, the fear in them registered somewhere deep within his brain, but the need to stuff you full of his seed overpowered his ability to stop himself. 

He began to push his length inside, even more slowly than his fingers. He owed you this bare minimum level of self control, the idea of hurting you keeping him in check.

You whimpered as he continued, there was no reaching him. You’d be better following his advice and trying to relax to accommodate his sheer girth. But fuck did it sting. The methodical pumping of his hips pushing his monstrous cock deeper and deeper. 

One of his hands opted to leave your hip in order to begin softly circling your puffy clit. It helped to soothe the burn of your stretching walls, slick beginning to build as your body attempted to help you. After what felt like an eternity he finally bottomed out inside you. 

“Shit you’re so fucking tight, you feel so good.”

He remained there for a moment, sweat rolling down his body as he tried to control himself. Just then your tight little cunt experimentally squeezed against him and his restraint shattered. 

He began to pull out, groaning above your head. He got about halfway out before pushing back in. This continued, each outward drag was met with a faster and more desperate thrust back in. At first it had stung, tears pricking your eyes as your bit your lip to keep from whining. You had never felt so full before. 

But as you grew accustomed to his size something hot began to stir in your abdomen. You were enjoying it. The more you relaxed into him the more pleasure you began to feel. Until finally, you were back to where you had been when he had worked you into your first orgasm. 

Your brain was too clouded with pleasure to bother holding back noises of satisfaction, and the heat in your gut only grew when Shouta moaned and huffed in your ear. His deep rumbles poured over you and soon he had abandoned his slow pace in favor of a much faster one. 

His long cock would pull all the way out before slamming back in, a rogue tendril had replaced his hand to work on your clit while his newly freed hands greedily grabbed at you. 

Finally one hand decided on grasping your hair, pulling your head back so he could slam his mouth against yours in a sloppy kiss. His tendrils allowed for your body to bounce against his as he pistoned his hips into you. 

His tongue was in your mouth as he swallowed your moans. His appendage fought with yours for dominance before exploring everything it could reach. This was all too much, you were getting close again. 

You could feel your walls beginning to flutter at your impending climax, and Shouta could feel it too. He increased his pace, hips stuttering as he began to try and reach his own release. He pulled away from your kiss and removed you from his tendrils, firmly planting you back on the mattress. His free hands intertwining his fingers with your own above your head as he continued to rock into you. 

He kept his tendrils on your legs in order to keep them wrapped around his waist, groaning as he felt you reach for orgasm first. You head was thrown back, mouth open in a silent o as you finished for the second time that night. The feeling of cumming on his cock was beyond imaginable and your body shuddered beneath him. 

You were perfect, overwhelming all of his senses in ecstasy as your tight cunt clamped down on him. He couldn't hold out any longer. His hips stilled as you began to milk his cock, hot thick ropes of cum painting your insides. You were too tired to protest, your small body slumped below him as you took his seed like the good little mate you were. 

A wave of exhaustion began to cloud his mind as he came down from his high. Slowly he began to pull out, heart clenching as you whimpered. You were too damn cute. 

Before any of his seed could spill out he used a tendril to plug your hole. Rolling over to your side he maneuvered you so your head was tucked under his own, his arm pressing you into his chest. 

“You did such a good job, if we keep this up you could take my seed before the month is up.” He planted a kiss against your forehead. You grumbled incoherently in response, too exhausted to process the implications of what he had just said. 

November, the month when he went feral, was the month he was feral for his mate. Desperate to fuck his seed into his one and only. All others were obstacles in his way that didn't deserve to live. November 1st had only just begun. You were in for a long month. 

#yandere shouta aizawa #yandere aizawa #aizawa x reader #aizawa x you #scp academia #yandere x reader #aizawa shouta x reader #bnha aizawa

[americxn]

Run

Kai accidentally confesses his love to you ╔═══════════════╗      warnings: violence ╚═══════════════╝

word count - 3k a/n - sorry about how badly this is written, I was so tired when I was writing it Shit, shit, shit, shit. Fuck. Oh fuck.  You held your phone in a death grip as you stood frozen in Kai’s bedroom, Beverly’s frantic voice fuelling a panic within you like you had never felt. “He’s coming, y/n. He left here around ten minutes ago, I’m so sorry I couldn’t call earlier I had to get away from the others first.” You ignored her panic-stricken apologies, striding to the door and pushing it open before hurrying down the stairs of Kai’s house, terror, deep and immobilizing, unfurling in your chest. “Is he driving?” You barked down the phone, not directed at your friend but at the situation you now found yourself in. That piece of shit had ratted you out. And gotten away with it. “Yes. Please tell me that you’re out of the house, y/n, he’s coming for you.” Beverley’s last words, the desperation and fear in her voice, igniting a new level of alarm within you. Fear for you. The thought settles over you like ice water, a truly horrifying realisation that hit home sharply, pushing you to go faster.  Throwing on your shoes hurriedly and grabbing the first set of car keys your hand found in the pot beside the door, you threw open the door and took the steps down two at a time to the driveway, thanking Beverly and breathlessly promising to ring her as soon as you were in the clear before hanging up and pocketing your phone. You pressed the ‘unlock’ button on the car keys, sprinting for the car that beeped in response and lunging for the door. It was one of Kai’s cars. And not a cheap one. This thought added to the terror burning deep inside you, although you knew it didn’t matter. If Kai caught up to you, you were dead, stolen car or not.  Brain switching to autopilot, you turned on the engine and reversed quickly off the drive and sped off through the neighbourhood, your eyes glued to the rear-view mirror incase Kai rounded the corner behind you. “FUCK.” You shouted, slamming a hand on the steering wheel as you hurtled through the neighbourhood.

He had given you up, had ratted out your ass just so he could stay alive. If you weren’t dead within the next week you made a silent promise with yourself to return and kill the little prick.  A new boy had joined the cult two weeks ago. Kai had informed you that was only seventeen and you had been taken by his timidness, decided to sit with him at meetings, sacrificing your position next to Kai on the couch to ensure that none of the brutes in the cult dared to pick on the poor boy. He revealed to you that his name was Liam and that his parents had kicked him out of their house after he was expelled from his high school, leading to Kai having found him and manipulating the boy to joining the cult by offering him the promise of a place to stay until he was able to get a job and support himself. But, after only four days in the cult, after you and Liam had begun to hang out before and after meetings, he revealed to you that he was terrified of Kai and everyone else who was involved with him and that he wanted to leave. As a long-term member of the cult, you knew how that would turn out and convinced Liam to let you help him find a safe way out. But he had thrown that back in your face, all in an attempt to prove his worth to the cult and get in Kai’s good books by getting you, Kai’s favourite member, thrown out of the group. Beverly had explained to you on the phone that Liam claimed to Kai that not only were you plotting to kick Liam out of the cult, which was the partial truth, but you were planning on killing Kai and taking over as cult leader. And Liam had taken the opportunity to tell Kai this on today’s mission, which conveniently involved you staying at Kai’s house and carrying out your role from there whilst everyone else was together at the site of the mission.  And now Kai was coming to kill you. He would always take the words of a man over those of a woman, no matter how close to him you though you were.

This thought spurred your foot to press harder on the accelerator and soon you had made it out of the neighbourhood, Kai still nowhere in sight.  You kept driving, eventually making your way out of the city, hands gripping the wheel so hard that your knuckles turned white as you turned onto the back roads, only now just slowing your pace a little to accommodated the thinner, winding tracks. You jumped with a harsh gasp as you phone started buzzing in your back pocket and you fished it out with one hand, icy dread turning your blood to slush as you read the display name: Kai.  Chucking your phone on the seat beside you, you decided that it was just best to ignore it. After about a minute of ringing, each buzz resonating within you and feeding to your panic until your chest was so tight it was difficult to take a full breath, your phone fell silent, the screen going dark.  Letting out a breath, you leant your head back on the headrest, forcing yourself to breathe through your terror as you drove further and further out of the city, having no idea where you were going and just wanting to put as much distance between you and Kai as possible.  And then the screen on the dashboard of Kai’s car lit up, the sound of ringing filling the vehicle and Kai’s name flashing on the screen. A wave a nausea filled you as you realized that Kai wouldn’t leave you alone until answered him and as you reached out to press the ‘accept’ option on the screen, you began to cry, deep-rooted dread unfurling in the pit of your stomach.  The car fell silent as the call connected you, your poorly suppressed sobs filling the car, turning to hiccups as Kai finally spoke.  “Y/n.” He spoke your name, not as a question but as a command. You took a shaky breath, keeping as silent as you could, trying to mask your painfully obvious sobs. “Turn around. Come back to me.” He spoke slowly, as if talking to a frightened animal, his calm tone fuelling your eagerness to get the hell away from him as fast as you could. He sighed when you didn’t reply. The car fell silent for a beat before he added: “If you don’t come to me, I’ll come to you.” His unspoken words rang through your head. ‘If you make me come to you, I’ll just take more time killing you. I’ll be more creative.’ And like hell would you go to him, like you were his dog and he your owner. Your mounting fear only confirmed this but you pushed the thought aside. “I won’t come to you.” You hiccupped, “you’ll only kill me.” Hating your sobs, you gritted your teeth painfully as you waited for his response. “Y/n. You’re driving in my car. I’m tracking your location, I can see where you are.” You breathing hitched as he added lowly, his voice reverberating around the car, “you might want to slow down.”  “I’m sorry about the car, Kai. I’ll leave it somewhere and message you the location. Please leave me alone.” You whispered the last part quietly, voice cracking pathetically.  “I’m not interested in the car if you’re not in it.” He cooed, before adding, “oh, there you are.” You froze, fingers going limp on the wheel as you flicked your eyes to the rear view mirror, catching a glimpse of a black car rounding the corner behind you. You yelped and slammed your foot into the accelerator, Kai’s chuckle filling the car. “You didn’t think I’d sit at home and let you get further and further away from me did you? Now fucking stop the car.”  Your heart leapt, thudding hard and fast at the raising anger in his tone as you pushed the car to drive even faster, hurtling around corners, Kai easily matching you in speed. You jammed your finger onto the ‘decline’ option on the screen before you, cutting Kai off as your breaths began to come out even shorter. This car would never be fast enough, Kai would drive after you until you ran out of gas, fuck he would drive after you to the ends of the world, just to feel your warm blood coating his rough fingertips. Your terror almost kept you driving blindly, flight overpowering fight, but you forced the practical thinking part of your brain into motion and beginning to weigh your odds of escape. As you rounded a particularly sharp corner, you saw the opening to a little side road branching off the main road you drove on and a reckless plan formed in your head.  You eased off the accelerator slightly, not giving yourself time to scare yourself out of what you were about to try and do, a glance in the rear view mirror confirming that Kai was gaining on you. You forced your rapid breathing to steady, trying to sharpen your focus as the opening to the side road got closer and closer, your hand settling over the handbrake. 10 yards. 5 yards. 3. Your stomach flipped as you yanked the handbrake up, the car screeching as you gritted your teeth, willing the car to stop at the angle you wanted it to, so that it lay across the road diagonally to stop Kai from following you any further by car. Before the vehicle had stopped moving, you had your seatbelt off and your phone in hand and had lunged for the passenger side door, throwing it open and forcing yourself out clumsily as Kai screeched to a halt behind you, the impact of his car hitting yours causing you to fall the rest of the way out of the car and you landed hard on your hands and knees.  Fuck, he would be pissed about the cars.  He shouted in fury after you, his own car door slamming shut with enough force that the sound echoed after you. But you were already running, you hands stinging but your mind clear as you hurtled around the corner and into the side road, praying to any god that might be listening that there was a house, a car, a person out walking, anything or anyone that would be able to help you. But the road was empty. A horrible feeling settled over you as you ran. How far out had you driven? Kai barked your name, forcing you out of your panic-clouded thoughts and you turned your head quickly to catch a glance of him over your shoulder.  His face was contorted with rage as he ran after you, his eyes narrowed into slits as his teeth gritted in effort, his jaw tight. He was gaining on you. You tried to push yourself faster but your thighs burned in protest, your arms groaning as you urged them to pump faster and your ankles beginning to buckle.  Your breaths sawed raggedly in and out of your lungs, the wind ripping your hair free of its ponytail. Remembering that your phone was still clutched in your hand, you racked your brain frantically, willing yourself to think of anyone that you could call that would save you. But the police wouldn’t do anything, they were terrified of Kai.  And anyone else you got roped into this would end up dead alongside you and-You yelped as Kai’s weight slammed into you, sending you both barrelling to the hard concrete of the road, your head taking the brunt of the impact as it collided with the road. Hard. Your phone was knocked from your grip and you tried in vain to blink away the stars in your vision at the impact as Kai flipped you over, one of his hands grabbing both of your wrists in his and another pinning you to the concrete by your throat. Warmth dripped from your temple and a part of you wanted to laugh, the other part willing your brain to shut down at the pain that you surely be forced to endure; Kai had had his hands on you for less than a second and you were already bleeding. “You bitch.” He spat in your face as you blinked at him vacantly. His hands clamped down onto your throat even tighter, the breath you dragged in enough to centre your focus and pull you back into reality.  “Please.” You choked, a sob racking your body painfully. His face softened in mock sympathy as he cooed a sarcastic “awe” at you.  “Poor traitorous whore. You can’t even fight me off can you?” He lifted your body up an inch off the road by your throat before slamming you back down in emphasis. Skin tore where his nails gripped your throat as he dug them into your flesh, your bones bleating from the second impact.  He leaned down, putting his lips by your ear, strands of his blue hair brushing against your cheek. “I don’t know why I let you into my cult, pathetic bitch.” A sob forced its way out of you, his words slamming into you with just as much force as the concrete did as he lifted you again and pushed you back down. Your vision blurred as his released your throat, quickly replacing his hand in your hair in a tangled grip as he yanked you up and began to walk back to his car, dragging you after him, your knees scraping against the rough road. You struggled to right yourself and find your footing as the blinding pain of being pulled along by your hair seized you and you screamed pitifully. “Kai, please.” You gasped, your own hands finding his wrist and trying to loosen his grip on your hair, the pain radiating through your scalp becoming two much as you began to loose your grip on consciousness. Kai seemed to realise this and released you, turning to watch as you hit the floor with a grunt and attempt to crawl away from him, your fingernails splitting as your dug them into the rough surface of the road.  He laughed, stepping forwards and wrapping his arms around your torso before hauling you up and pressing your back to his chest.  Nausea roiled in your gut.  “Kai. K-Kai, please.” You sobbed, fighting to suppress the retch that tried to force its way out of you. Kai hauled you towards his car, his phone appearing in his hand as he opened the passenger side door and shoved you in the car, kicking your legs in before laying a hard slap down on your face and slamming the door. You watched, cheek burning, too weak to try and get out of the car and terrified of being hurt more as Kai brought his phone to his ear, making his way round to the drivers side of the car and getting in.  “Yeah, I need you here.” He grumbled into the phone. Your head lolled to the side to look at him, terror glinting in your eyes. “The keys are still in the car, I don’t care how you do it just get my car back to my house.” You could briefly make out a voice babbling nervously on the other end.  “Just come.” He barked suddenly and you whimpered, your body jolting in response to his tone.  Hanging up, he chucked the phone into the backseat, watching in cruel amusement as you looked after the discarded device longingly. Quickly, he had the car turned around in the road and you were driving again, back the way you came. You could feel the blood dribbling from your temple, matting your already knotted hair. You had your eyes trained on Kai, your body jumping every time he moved his hands so much as an inch in your direction. Kai glanced at you, his face completely devoid of any emotion.  “Ask.” He demanded, turning his eyes back the road. You knew what he wanted of you, the same question that he wanted to hear you utter the only thought floating around your head. You swallowed slowly, your own fear causing you to give in.  “How are you going to do it?” Your voice was thick and it was a struggle to keep the words steady.  He took another glance at you, eyebrows quirking up in surprise. And then he laughed.  “Oh, y/n.” He shook his head. “I’m not going to kill you.” Your heart swelled in hope.  “Why the fuck would I kill someone I love?” He mused in amusement, shaking his head back and forth slowly. Realisation dawned upon your foggy brain as his words settled over you. “You- what?”  “I said I’m not going to kill you.” He replied hurriedly, as if he only just realised what he had said. Silence fell and he cleared his throat. “Don’t get too excited.” He muttered, all of his attention fixing back on the road. “By the time I’m through with your punishment, you’ll most likely wished I had just killed you.” His promise chilled you to the core, even as a strange fluttery feeling filled your stomach at his accidental confession.

#american horror story #ahs #ahs cult #cult #kai anderson #kai #fanfic #beverly hope #violent #chase #love #confession #fear #kai anderson x reader #reader #kai x reader

[ohheyitsokay]

home

part 10 of the ‘hey batter batter’ series

pairing: Francisco (Frankie, Catfish) Morales x reader

wordcount: 3k

warnings: so so soo much fluff. clouds and clouds worth. kissing, implications of sex (blink and you’ll miss it)

summary: it’s a Triple Frontier Baseball AU! Trust me, you don’t need to know anything about baseball.

In this chapter, you and Frankie finish the season and the summer, and know it’s only the beginning.

notes: thank you all so much for supporting this little story of mine! I genuinely am blown away by how kind everyone has been! originally I planned on this series just being a couple of one-shots set in the same universe, but it got away form me, and I can’t believe so many of you came along for the ride. some of those stories will come in time, but thank you thank you thank you to everyone who stuck around this long! all the love for all of you!

>>

It was a beautiful day for a baseball game.

The sun was shining and for once your bones weren’t shaking with the rumble of the stadium as people stomped and cheered. In fact, the majority of the noise was from Frankie’s momma as she chattered across your lap to your grandfather. The two of them were discussing gardening and how well season was played, how proud they were, the best of friends. It was peaceful, almost, and most of the flashing lights and roaring crowds were away – it was the final game, a charity fundraiser, all fun.

You could see your catcher as he turned, looking at your section like he couldn’t help but search for you, and you smiled, heart as full and as warm as the sun on your shoulders. His curls were sticking out from under his helmet haphazardly, the pads on his shoulders and thighs making him even more solid, and it was a sight that you’d never get tired of. Combined with the smells of warm pastries, jalapeños and melted cheese, contentment settled into your soul like a hand in a glove, a perfect fit.

It was the of the ninth and they were playing well, encouraged by the cause and playing for the love of of the game instead of a paycheck. Behind you, you heard someone mention just how well Frankie had batted this season, and you brushed pan dulce sugar from your lap.

The players had told you last week after all the big games were done why Santi had offered to pay for you and James to fly to see their final games. At the time, it had baffled you how intensely they insisted, how eagerly the pushed it, and how your boyfriend had looked equal parts embarrassed and hopeful, but eventually you agreed, assuming you could get the time off from work. When the secret came out you laughed, shaking your head and rolling your eyes.

They had exchanged smiles and shrugged and shared knowing glances as they let you explain away what they knew was true. You were their luck.

The thought was long gone from your mind now though, as Ben was doing weird poses on the field, and you heard chuckles ripple through the crowds. Fans of him and the team alike were endlessly charmed, and you knew you’d catch comments about it for months to come. His brother was just standing, and still you heard dreamy sighs of Will’s name, and made a mental note to tease him after the game about his “blonde halo”. Whatever that meant.

Santi threw a perfect curveball, and when it landed firmly in Frankie’s glove, you heard a girl swoon, “That’s my man!” and the laughter of her friends, as they called her “Mrs. Morales”.

“No!” his momma was glaring over her shoulder tugging on your elbow, as if physically fighting them was a viable option. You tugged back, making soothing noises as she protested, “Mi frijol.” The sweet lady muttered something else and before your heart could latch on to what you could’ve sworn was something about the future and tu marido you moved on.

“I know, I know,” you were saying, when James leaned over, glint in his sweet, aging eyes.

“She’s right, honey,” he said, only encouraging his friend, and you grinned.

“He’s my boy,” she said again with an air of finality, “and yours."

Looking at your grandfather sheepishly, you pointed at your shirt and shrugged as he said, “Right again.”

You were wearing his backup Jersey.

Cheesy as it was, it felt good to have the little claim of his over your skin, and while it wasn’t obvious to everyone, you wore it with pride. Comments from his fans slid off it like raindrops on a tin roof, and while you apricated her inclusion, you didn’t need it to know he was yours, as you were his.

Jimbo leaned towards the woman at your side and whispered conspiratorially in her ear, and she settled, and you left it, enjoying their friendship. The day was too lovely for anything else, anyway.

Catch, catch, walk, look for his girlfriend, sit, swing, hit, run, walk, sit. Repeat.

Nothing so eventful happened the last few minutes of the game, and as the Will went out for his final bat, you felt a surprising wave of bittersweet nostalgia for all that had passed since the opening game, cold as an evening breeze.

Then the ball cracked against the bat, and the sound snapped you back, and you felt a fire under your breastbone, reminding you the best was yet to come.

Frankie’s mom finished her final cheers enthusiastically, all annoyance long gone, and she pulled you into a hug.

“Nieta is calling. Hug Francisco for me, hija, and I’ll see you tomorrow?” You nodded, squeezing her back almost as hard. You and Frankie were using his first real day off to babysit and get some quality time, and both of you were well aware this was hardly goodbye. You gave a gentler hug to your grandfather, who was going with her, whispering “Bye Jimbo,” as you kissed his cheek. He had conspired to let you stay out for the evening, and while you’d miss driving him home, you were grateful for the opportunity.

Seeing them safely as far as you could, your feet danced with excitement. Like it had been more than handful of times, they knew the path to the locker rooms, carrying you so light you were almost floating. When you slid into the waiting room, Frankie was already clean and looking for you anxiously. Maybe you should’ve given him a little wave from across the room, but you could do better.

You ducked away from his line of sight, and snuck around behind him before say, “hey, batter, batter.” He whipped around and before you could even register the grin on his face, he was pulling you against his chest.

“Hey yourself,” he said, and the two of you got one sweet, slightly needy kiss before you heard good-natured groans.

“It’s been like month,” Santi said, ruffling your hair as you stepped back, “Aren’t you guys done flirting?” You stuck your tongue out at him, wondering if you were fast enough to flick him in the forehead.

“Don’t bother,” Will said, his tone resigned but playful as he hugged you too. “Be happy he got her to stick around.” You pulled a face, and Benny laughed. They all knew by now that it was more than a summer fling, even Tom, who you realized hadn’t come out yet.

When you asked, they winced, and you dropped the topic, knowing they would tell you in their own time. Frankie pulled you back to him, his warm fingers lacing with yours as you herded them towards the door.

They were still working on things, still trying to figure out what their next steps looked like.

For now, you owed your baseball boys a dinner.

-           

 It had taken you a couple of times cooking for them to get the portions right. The Miller boys ate like they were hollow, and after a game was a testament to that.

Thankfully, you had more than enough this time, having been preparing their favorites for days with the enthusiastic help from Frankie’s mom, and begrudging help from his sister as a thank you to her hermano. The piled into your little space and ate gratefully, telling you about the game like you knew what they were talking about.

“Benny, why were you –” his deep laughter cut you off, and your hand shot out to grab Will’s wrist mid-throw. You had a rule against projectile food to keep them from squabbling like children at your makeshift dinner table. The dinner roll fell to his plate as Benny tried to explain, and Santi deadpanned.

“I was stretching, and I got distracted –”

“You were flirting with the entire stadium, Ben.”

“No! Well –”

It was warm and bright, eating dinner with them like a family, teasing and laughter filling the space like clear broth in the cool of night.

Frankie’s hand found your knee under the table.

The best part about these replacement-parties was watching them all try to help clean up. You were lucky professional athletes had fast reflexes, or you would’ve lost more than a few dishes to their shenanigans. They insisted, wouldn’t let you help, and things probably would’ve been put back correctly if you had, but it was great, letting things play out however they may. Maybe years and years down the road, you would tell a younger generation that you had some of the world’s most desirable athletes fighting in your kitchen over where you kept your dish soap refills.

And after, they would collapse in your living room, unearthing all the games from your shelves. One of your favorite moments from the summer was coming through thrift stores for games, ignoring the stare of jealousy and making ridiculous bets.

All the while, Frankie kept as close to you as he could, too busy watching you with wrinkles in the corners of his eyes to be embarrassed of his rambunctious friends.

When you and Will won the first game of the evening, he accidentally hit you in the face with the back of his hand as he flung his arms open in triumph.

It hadn’t hurt as badly as it would’ve if his brother had been the one talking with his hands, but Frankie had still thumped him in the back of the head before he followed you to the kitchen.

“Baby, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Frankie,” you laughed, but he was already taking the pack of frozen peas from your hand to press it against the lump forming on your temple. He was gentle, and the air shifted, like there was more on his mind than your minor injury. Brown eyes searching yours, you wished you knew what he was thinking.

“Francisco?” Your hands had settled on his chest but the moved around his neck when he moved the ice to ghost his lips over the spot. He didn’t answer for a moment, just setting the peas aside, and carefully trapping you against the counter.

There were noises of good-natured arguing coming from the living room, and you knew he was taking advantage of their distraction, carving a little pocket for the two of you in time.

“Te adoro,” his lips were almost hot as they pressed into yours. “I love you,” he said, so close you could feel the hairs on his upper lip still.

For the past month, your relationship had been fast, jumpstarting to serious and staying that was, but this was new. It was one thing, for him to tell you he wanted something real with you, wanted you to be a part of his life, and another to hear him say he loved you simply, without abandon. Still, you didn’t hesitate.

“I love you too.”

He kissed you again, unhurried, and you almost couldn’t return it, you were smiling so widely. Your bump was long forgotten.

When the two of you came out the kitchen, the others had barely noticed you were gone and Ben immediately was accusing you of cheating, but Santi shot you a knowing smile.

-           

There was a gap of time when a season ended, when Molly’s inbox was mercifully void of emails. It was a time when the chaos of her job slowed, for a bit before she began her work for the off-season, and she relished it with every fiber of her being.

This particular gap began wrapped up in sheets with Tom, her Tom, kissing and wishing the world outside was a simple as this, in the little bubble of her room.

She could always tell though, when his mind was no longer filled with her, and the other sides of him began to leak through the cracks. His eyes moved with urgency instead of appreciation his hands moved a little slower and then in sudden jerks, and when he trailed off mid-sentence, she sighed.

“You told them, didn’t you?”

He rolled onto his back; his gaze pointed towards the ceiling.

“Right after the game,” he confessed, and she sighed again, sitting up. If nothing else, for him, she had endless patience.

“How’d that go?”

Her love was silent, thinking only of the embarrassment and defensiveness that had reared in his chest. The tilt of Santi’s head, Frankie’s slow nod. He wished Benny had been disappointed, wished Will had thought it was a joke.

“They understood,” Tom didn’t add that he hoped with all his considerable might that they had reacted stronger, hoped they had told him not to, said they needed him to stay, but they hadn’t. It wouldn’t have been true, anyway. They were growing, going somewhere he couldn’t follow.

Her hand ran over his chest as it filled with air, stilling over his heart.

“It’s time,” one of them said, and the other nodded.

Counseling. Rehab. Retirement.

Slowing down to coach at a local college.

He clenched his hand into a fist, and then relaxed, palm falling open, upwards.

The love of his life kissed his forehead.

It was time.

-           

The first stop of the day was with James, spending the morning helping him around the house. Before this summer, you had thought you were his favorite grandchild, but he had essentially adopted Frankie months ago, and already liked him more than you.

The little old man talked excitedly about baseball and lectured your love on enjoying his off-season. He dragged him into the yard, talking his ear off about the benefits of different teas and the importance of volunteering with youth programs, and you settled inside, throwing away expired things from his fridge. Their absence was your only opportunity for the chore.

Honestly, the two of you needed to leave sooner than later and you weren’t sure how much time you had.

“Honey?” You dropped a can of whipped cream from a month ago guiltily.

“Yeah, Jimbo?”

He eyed you suspiciously but seemed too excited to be deterred by you.

“I put this together for you!” He said proudly, and you noticed a flash of the same mischief from yesterday in his eyes. Your grandfather handed you a box, and made you promise not to open in until you left. You hugged the sweet man, and smiled when Frankie did, too, before saying your goodbyes, thankful beyond words for him.

If it weren’t for him, you were sure you wouldn’t be climbing into the truck of your boyfriend, and certainly not having the catcher’s hand slide into yours. When you opened the box, the gratitude didn’t shrink, but your embarrassment rose.

Frankie laughed so hard you thought he was going to have to pull over.

It was full of Francisco Morales merchandise, signatures and memorabilia ranging from his very first baseball card to his most recent bobble head.

-           

Frankie kissed your knuckles for the second time since you climbed into his truck, which was silly since it had only been three minutes since you left his mother’s house.

He could feel your look, answering before you even asked.

“I’m good, just… I love you,” he said, unable to keep his eyes on the road when he said it.

“I love you too, Frankie,” you said, wondering what prompted him.

“Could we… would you want to get dinner?” He looked thoughtful and you laughed.

“Are you asking me on a date?”

Your hand was lifted to his lips again, sending electricity up your spine as he confirmed.

The two of you had a bag full of Anita’s best by the time you entered his home, and he still hadn’t told you what was on his mind. The two of you ate, sharing stories about the day’s adventures, helping his mother around the house and watching, Bianca, his sweet, tiny new niece. You had a great conversation with his mother, and despite her excitable nature, she surprised you by asking you about your boundaries and promising not to overstep.

Frankie told you about his hermana, and her slowly opening up to the idea of letting him help her out, not as charity but family, and letting him shoulder some of the responsibilities. You watched the warmth in his eyes as he talked and wondered how it was possible for a single person to feel so safe.

Eventually the talking slowed, and you found yourself half falling asleep against the stretch of his chest, is hands slowing their wandering paths.

“Love?” he murmured into your hair. You hummed in response.

When he didn’t say anything, your mind woke, and you pulled yourself up, and into his lap, straddling him.

He looked up at you for a moment before you felt him sigh against you.

“I have this baby,” he said, and you couldn’t help but smile at his phrasing. Santi always said it was melodramatic. “Do you… is this all too much?”

His expression mirrored that of your first date, and you told him the same thing as you had then.

That you would stay, as long as he would have you. That you would navigate alongside him, that you were happy to. This time, you added that you loved him, and you felt him shift under you, anxiety leaking out of him, allowing solid adoration to replace it.

Frankie said, “Thank you,” against your mouth, and like a prayer. In the dim evening light, you kissed him, and as his hands slipped under your shirt to hold your sides, he held you for the first time like you were real.

And you were, this was something that wasn’t going away.

For the first time in a long time, it was a perfect day for something new, and his heart was here, beating under his hands.

 <<

translations:

pan dulce: pastries

mi frijol: my bean

tu marido: your husband

nieta: granddaughter 

hija: daughter

hermano/a: brother, sister

te adoro: I adore you

<<

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge @pbeatriz

hey batter batter taglist:

@icanbeyourjedi @studyofawearymind @hnt-escape @athalien @the-witty-pen-name @daffodin @sarahjkl82-blog @pintsizemama @anaaaispunk @pjkimrn @dobbyjen @stuckontheceiling

#francisco morales #francisco morales x reader #francisco morales x you #frankie x you #frankie x reader #triple frontier baseball au #hey batter batter #maybe i don't know people

[junova]

↬ 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐭 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

abstract: the one where steve finds your love letters.

pairing: au!steve x fem!reader

word count: 3K+

warnings: cussing, fluff, angst, crying, slight self-deprecation.

[author’s note]: hey guys! i’m really new to the writing scene so kind words are appreciated! srsly just testing my writing style out and wanted to just post something to motivate me to keep writing. hope u like it. <3

also thank u ari for the inspo and that bomb ass album that saved twenty-twenty. now we just need biden to get elected.

ps. don’t forget to vote! <3

Stevie,

First and foremost, I want you to know how proud of you I am. You have become the man you’ve said you become, the one I always knew you would. You have finally seen what the rest of us see.

A good man.

The soul you carry within you shines brighter than I’ve ever seen. Just for that only, I’m thankful for the time we’ve spent together. Maybe one day, I’ll be brave enough to tell you this without hiding behind the comfort of this notebook. She won’t spill my secrets, fortunate for me.

Some days you have no idea how badly I want to tell you. I think it’s on the days I discover a new fleck of green in your eyes or maybe when you show up to class with a cup of coffee for me without request.

More. More. More.

More. More. More.

It’s selfish of me, that much I know. More days than not, I would say you give too much of yourself away. Always wanting to appease everyone, you, Steven Rogers, the bridge to making the people around you happier than they walked in. Even when Bucky drags you into his nonsense bullshit, you say yes without hesitation.

I’ve got not a a clue on how you continue on, how you still remain you when you tend to spread yourself so thin. Who watches out for you? Who cares for you? Who loves the almighty, selfless Rogers?

For me, it’s much easier to pretend you carry too much on your plate than to deal with the rejection I would receive from you. You’re just too good, more than I deserve. More than I would be willing to take. I know I couldn’t possibly give you what you deserve but, I hope that one day you might see me differently. You would see me more than the light I’ve painted myself in.

Even though the shade is lovely, I want to be deeper. Deeper into you on a level which only seems unattainable at this point.

A forever friend. To be in your life, just as a friend, is an reward in itself.

But someday I hope you would love me in the same way I do. It’s all a love struck girl could do. Hope for the best, bet be prepared for the downfall.

With much love, your forever friend.

Tearing the page away from the binding of the overfilled notebook, dispensing it in the first empty drawer you could find, you abandoned the feelings as soon as the pen’s ink bleed out dry.

“You know it would just be easier to tell him how you feel.” You peaked up at the sound of her voice, before realizing she was looming over you, watching your write the letter.

Your supposed, secret letter.

“Nat, please. No.” Opening the drawer, she grabbed the letter but was surprised with just how many she found.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’ve written about him multiple times?” You sank in the soft, plush material of your seat hoping that just maybe it would begin to swallow you whole. Hopefully, fast enough were you wouldn’t have to endure the rest of the conversation. One you had been trying to avoid, for the past three years.

“It’s nothing Nat, just forget it.” Just like a Romanov, she couldn’t leave it alone. Even if she tried it was laced in her blood to see any little thing through.

“You really shouldn’t wait so long. A window might close for you, much sooner than you think.” With a curious eyebrow lifted, you felt your breath leave you.

“What does that supposed to mean?” Steve certainly deserved the best and you knew it was only time for him to figure out you would never be enough for him.

“Peggy Carter.” Peggy.

The one girl of a sea of many who had been enamored by Steve. He never really seemed to spend anytime with the women who vied for his attention, but Peggy was surely different than the rest.

Even if Steve was oblivious when it came to the advances everyone would make on him, he saw Peggy. Considering she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, she intimidated you. God, did she ever.

On numerous occasions she and Steve had gone out, and even though he assured you they were just friends you were starting to believe he was only trying to protect your feelings. As a friend.

He had never cancelled on you once for her and he would tell you if he had started to date someone, just like he had before.

Even though the entire three years you’d known him he only had one serious girlfriend and after eight months, the pair broke up and even now he still didn’t budge on why they broke up.

“Steve can do whatever he wants with her. He’s a single man. He’s gone out with her before and he’ll probably go with her again.” Then Sam was the next to speak up, dismissing the total bullshit spouting from your mouth.

“Can’t you see he doesn’t want to? The damn man follows you around like a goddamn puppy.” Okay, when did he even come in here?

“God, fuck, no he doesn’t. He would have said something by now, he’s had three years and it’s been nothing but radio silence.” With an all knowing smirk, Sam proposed a new concept into question.

“It has been three years. So, have you ever said anything to him?”

Shit. Fuck you, Wilson.

“W-Well, not exactly.” Sam didn’t have to say anything in response. You knew he was right and you hated it.

Your unwillingness still stood for you, there was just no way he actually would reciprocate your feelings.

“Listen, I think it would be really good for the both of you to air everything out. Peggy is sinking her claws in him and it isn’t too long before they get stuck. Just talk to him.” You nodded silently, but you weren’t sure if you’d ever have the courage to.

—

Emptiness.

It’s all you seemed to feel today. Following you around was a dark cloud, looming over you. Wishing you could be anywhere but your own body. Nothing in particular happened to make you deserve the feeling you were granted with. It just so happened to be one of those days.

From the moment you got out of bed — or rather stayed in bed until four in the afternoon, you felt like anything you would have done just didn’t feel enough. The feeling was fleeting, never staying for more than a day or so, but it made the day drag on. Never ending.

Your muscles sore, body aching from the lack of activity your presumed. Or maybe you had built it in your head too.

Thankfully for you, Nat was busy helping Bucky move into his new place the entire day. She asked if you wanted to help, but mentally you didn’t feel you would be useful for anyone. Simply, telling her you would hang back, claiming you had another an essay to write.

Which you did, you weren’t completely lying, but there was more than your sour mood to blame for your dismissal of social interaction.

You hated to be that girl, the one who needed the presence of men. Specifically, the company of one very beautiful, blue eyed one.

His absence in your life the past few weeks felt heavier on you than you thought it would. You knew from Sam’s intel he had been hanging out with Peggy more and more. He said the two of them were getting close, mercifully sparing you the details.

You hated it’s you’d become. A girl so damn struck over a boy who was giving his attention elsewhere. Upset you were though. Before even if he was busy between classes and his internship at the gallery, he would still text to check up on you.

Now, it was nothing but radio silence letting you draw conclusions on your own. Very, very dangerous territory for you to travel to.

Steve and you are just friends. Get. Over. It.

You thought you’d be alone the rest of the Saturday, especially since it was nearly midnight. Figuring Nat was staying over at Bucky’s and Wanda leaving earlier in early hours of the morning to see her boyfriend for the entire weekend.

Then, an incredibly drunk Steve stumbled into your quaint apartment, the thoughtfully sweetness in him blubbering out with the alcohol flooding through his system. It was like he was on overdrive. More than ready to crash at any given moment.

You had enough when Steve started shamelessly raiding your kitchen, but you remained on the couch attempting to maintain some distance between the two of you. He had a history of being incredibly handsy whenever he had bit too much to drink.

Stumbling his way over to you, almost tripping on the rug, until he was basically cuddling up to your side. His arms latched tightly around you, pulling you into him. Not spared a choice, not that you’d want one.

The security of being wrapped up to him wasn’t something you ever grew tired of. You don’t think there would ever be a time you would ever be capable of turning him away.

“I’ve missed you. It’s been too long.” His soft tone, penetrating the tiny resistance you held towards him. “Me too. I was starting to think you disappeared on me, bubba.”

“Never.” His iron grip holding so tight like he was afraid you’d slip right through.

“Is everything alright?” Trying to pull from him, but Steve seemed unable to let you go. You whispered in his ear, caressing his back.

“I think so.”

“Here, let me grab you cup of joe and some water. Okay? I’ll be right back.” Leaving him a kiss on the cheek, before heading him into the kitchen.

If you had been around him recently, perhaps you would be more in tune with how he was feeling. Then the guilt sept in.

“Sweetheart, do you know where the phone charger is? It’s not by the recliner.” You heard him shout, trying to stop your heart from hammering into your stomach.

Just make him some coffee, sober him up, until he crashes.

Steve always seemed to be a lightweight and somehow whenever he did decide to drink he always found himself routing his way into your home. You thought it was simply for accident alone. The bar he frequented at was only a few block from you.

The past few times he would just stumble into your bedroom, immediately passing out in your soft, silky sheet. Now, he seemed to have more pressing matters at hand.

“Check the drawers, Stevie. I think there’s one you left around here somewhere.” You grabbed the filters and the grounds out, brewing the coffee. Soon, with a black cup of coffee and a water bottle in hand you took note of just how quite he was being.

He was never this silent and it was freaking you out.

“Are you sure you’re o-”

Just like that.

Fuck.

Hunched over, practically on his knees, he read over the endless letters you wrote about him. Confessions never meant to be seen by him. You lost track of how many you had written over the past few years once realized how irrevocably in love with him you are.

He didn’t realize you had found him and you were suddenly paralyzed. Unaware of your presence he continued to read through them and his expression was unrecognizable. One you’d never seen from him before, and you didn’t quite know how to react.

No. He wasn’t grimacing nor did he seem to be elated either. He just stood there just like you, afraid what would happen next.

What did this mean for the two of you? Your entire relationship was purely riding on whatever happened next.

Softly, with a gentle hand, he sifted through them all like he was looking for something specifically. Steve let them fall to the hardwood floors as your shaking hands could no longer support the weight of the dainty coffee cup he had actually sculpted himself.

The glass shattering everywhere, several pieces making their way towards him, thankfully not fiercely enough to penetrate his skin.

Truly, you had never been more sorry than when he looked up at you with tears in his eyes. Threatening to spill over. Because of you.

You didn’t have to be told, you already knew.

Carefully, Steve stood up making his way over to you around the shattered mug. Still you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Simply just watching him until he was right in front of you — more silent than you’d ever seen him before.

“Those were about me. Weren’t they?” You nodded having no reason to lie other than to protect yourself from a rejection you been hoping to spare yourself from.

“I didn’t want you to find out like this. Or at all really.” Your resolve dropping instantly when Steve took a step further gripping by your hips, pulling you closer.

“Why not?” He questioned you, again. Almost like he needed a verbal affirmation of every secret he had just read.

Unintentionally, stealing your soul served for him on a silver platter.

“I know how you’d feel about me, Steve. It’s not how I want it to be and it’s okay.” You remove yourself from him, traveling to the other side of the living room. Suddenly, the apartment seemed suffocating with him in it. “I’m fine, Steve.”

Hearing him sigh in frustration only furthered your immense feeling of being a burden to him.

You’re just one more obstacle he has to deal with.

“One of them dated back for over two years ago. Two fucking years.” His harsh tone, piercing through you like a knife.

“I know. I should have told you.” You whispered, wishing you could disappear into any abyss that would take you. Deeply wishing you just didn’t have to endure for the rest of this conversation. Wishing you could have stopped him from opening that stupid drawer. “I tell you everything, but I just couldn’t bring myself to speak about this. Look at how you’re reacting? How could you blame me when every fear I have about this is justified?”

You really should have kept those elsewhere, not your open, public living room.

“Because it’s us. I’m always here for you.” He was still crying through broken words and you didn’t know why. Almost like you had shattered his resolve and his control leaving with it.

“Not lately. You’ve been otherwise occupied.” Suddenly find the plant in the corner of the room. It certainly weren’t trying to distract yourself from the insatiable cerulean eyes.

The breathtaking british woman wasn’t even here and as soon as she was brought up — there was a wall. Seperating, you from whatever was between the two of you.

“This isn’t my fault. You never said anything. How was I supposed to know you feel that way about me?” He tried to make his way towards you but you just stalked off in the other direction. Circling around the living room like a coward.

“It didn’t matter though, did it? You found someone perfect for you regardless of how you feel.” God, you wish he would just leave so you could let the dam break.

“No. You don’t get to do that. Since the moment I met you I only had eyes for you, but you never seemed like you were interested. So, I dropped it. Okay? You never left me a crumb to think you would ever want to be more than just friends.”

“You were my best friend. You still are. No matter how I felt, it could never outweigh the need I have for you to be in my life.” He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. Trying to figure out what was next for the both of you. Steve always had to initiate and this time was no different.

“Peggy told me tonight she wants to be exclusive.” His confession washing over you like a ton of bricks. Crushing you.

You really couldn’t have any ill feeling towards her, she was just doing what you lacked the courage and the tenacity to do.

“But I didn’t really know what to do.” He took quiet steps towards you, not wanting to spook you. He voice not no longer held the a warmth of teddy bear, but a man on a mission rather took over.

Steve kept quiet until he had you backed up into a corner, no escape route in vision for you.

“’Cause there’s this other beautiful woman, absolutely breathtaking — and I just I really needed to know how she felt. If I had known before,  I never would have gone anywhere else.” His hand caressing your soft, plump lips. Pulling on your bottom lip with his thumb, sending you into a frenzy.

“Then, I just wanted to forget about everything until Sam called me. Three beers deep, when he told me of a drawer filled with letters I should take a look at.” You could feel his breath on you, temple pressed against yours.

“I just need to hear you say it. Just once.” Taking it a step forward, intertwining your finger with his own.

“I love you.” It was all he needed as he sealed his own affirmation with a sweet kiss, inking your lips with all of his love.

#for the love of god let these tags work :/ #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x reader fluff #steve rogers x reader angst #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers au #college!steve rogers #au #mcu #mcu fanfiction #fanfiction

[howtosingit]

Fic: And Every Birthday After

TK makes a decision about his relationship with Carlos.

*

AU after 1x05.

3K | Also on AO3

A/N: This is up a day later than I wanted it to be, but considering it’s the first thing I’ve written in two months, I’m still going to take it as a win. Happy reading!

- - - - -

TK climbs out from the car, his eyes on his phone as he shouts a quick “thank you” over his shoulder to his Uber driver before closing the door behind him. The car pulls away from the curb as he glances up at the glowing Austin Police Department sign before him, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth while he thinks about what he wants to do next.

With another look down at his phone to check the time, he nods, turning his back on the precinct to cross the street. It doesn’t take him long to find what he’s looking for: Carlos’s blue Camaro draws attention no matter where the police officer parks it. 

TK gently runs his fingers along the shiny, unblemished surface, his attention divided between the car in front of him and the building across the street. Carlos should be appearing any moment, fresh off his shift, and TK smiles as he leans back against the door, crossing his arms in front of his chest, trying to adopt a casual pose. He can practically hear Carlos’s laugh now, his brain supplying him with the memory of the last time he failed to casually lean against the Camaro, while they waited for Paul outside the 126. 

(TK thinks that just because Carlos has perfected the art of a casual lean, he shouldn’t get to laugh at those who are still learning.)

“TK?”

He’s so lost in his memories of that night - dancing close to Carlos in the club and sneaking kisses whenever the lights left them in the shadows - that he misses when the man himself appears right in front of him. TK jumps when he hears his name to find Carlos already halfway across the street, heading right for him.

“Hey there, officer,” he calls.

“What are you doing here?” Carlos asks, and TK’s eyes shift down just in time to see Carlos hide a giant green gift bag behind his back. “I thought we were meeting a little later.”

“We were, but I got out of work earlier than I planned and thought I’d surprise you.” 

TK waits for Carlos to come a little closer, maybe even give him a kiss the way he usually does, or at the very least a smile, but the officer does none of those things. Instead, Carlos stops a few feet away from him, his beautiful brown eyes wide as he presses his lips together in a tight line. TK notices the gift bag peeking out behind his back, fidgeting in his fingers. “Did someone get you a gift?” TK asks, breaking the weirdly awkward silence with his mounting curiosity.

Carlos freezes for a nearly imperceptible moment, looking like he’s been zapped by his own stun gun, before he lets out a sudden high-pitched laugh, his face morphing into a mask of forced normalcy. “Oh, this?” he asks, pulling the bag out from behind his back. TK watches as his eyebrows furrow - truly an adorable sight - as Carlos glances between the bag and TK. “This is from my boss, for Employee Appreciation Week.”

A smile suddenly appears on Carlos’s face as he steps closer, swinging the bag at his side before wrapping an arm around TK’s waist and pulling him in. TK goes willingly, his brain still trying to catch up to Carlos’s abrupt mood shift, and lets Carlos press their lips together in a chaste kiss. 

“Thank you for surprising me,” Carlos murmurs against his mouth. “Seeing you was exactly what I needed after today.”

“Long shift?”

Carlos hums in reply, stealing another quick kiss before backing away to pull his keys from his pocket. “Something like that.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“Maybe later,” Carlos admits. TK notices the way his eyes are twinkling under the streetlights. “Right now I’m starving. Did you finally decide on a place to eat?”

“What do you think of that Greek place on Lavaca?”

“I think,” Carlos starts once they’re both in the car, tossing the gift bag in the back seat before leaning over the console to invade TK’s personal space, “that if that’s what you want, then that’s exactly what I want.”

TK lets out a breath at Carlos’s claim, a feeling of contentment running through his body from head to toe. He feels Carlos’s hand on his cheek, his breath on his face. It’s overwhelming in the best possible way.

“You’re kind of sickeningly sweet, you know that?” TK teases, pressing forward to steal another kiss. 

“That doesn’t sound like a complaint,” Carlos fires back, his eyes crinkling as a cocky smile takes over his face.

“You’re far too confident.”

“Now I know that’s not a complaint,” Carlos smirks, his eyebrows practically dancing. 

“Shut up,” TK whispers, claiming Carlos’s lips again to ensure that he does just that.

- - - - - 

“No, I’m telling you, Paul actually said that, no hesitation whatsoever. It was pretty badass.”

“Sounds like it. Though, I’m guessing Marjan didn’t really appreciate it, did she?” Carlos asks, pulling the front door closed behind him as TK flips on the light before toeing off his shoes.

“Oh, she definitely did not. I kind of thought flames were going to shoot out of her eyes, she looked so pissed.” He flops down on the couch, pulling his feet up to get comfortable. 

“I know I’ve only met her on calls, but I can still picture that face so perfectly,” Carlos laughs, cutting through the room to the kitchen, where he drops his gift bag on the counter before opening the refrigerator. “I have cake for dessert, if you want any?” he asks, glancing back over at TK.

“Oh my god, yes,” TK moans, pulling himself off the couch and towards the alluring appeal of something disgustingly sweet. He drops his phone on the table before taking a seat on one of the barstools, watching as Carlos pulls out a small chocolate bundt cake before reaching into the freezer for a pint of vanilla bean ice cream. He flits about the kitchen with a casual ease that TK is more than happy to observe, his eyes drawn to his striking figure. There isn’t a single part of Carlos that TK doesn’t like, and he knows he could sit and watch the other man every minute of every day and never get bored. 

He gives himself a little shake, trying to clear his head, and his eyes land once again on the gift bag sitting on the counter next to him.

“So,” he starts, his tone laced with curiosity, “what exactly does APD give their best patrol officers for Employee Appreciation Week anyway?” He smirks, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure it’s got nothing on AFD, we all know firefighters have you badges beat.”

It’s not something he really believes in - the whole firefighters versus police officers rivalry - but that doesn’t mean that he and Carlos don’t like to joke about how they’re “sleeping with the enemy” every now and then. It’s even made for some very satisfying, competitive moments in bed, though they’re always followed by laughs and kisses and comments about how ridiculous it all is.

TK turns back to Carlos to find him completely frozen for the second time tonight, the ice cream scoop clutched firmly in his hand with ice cream melting down the sides as he looks from the bag to TK. 

This time, TK doesn’t let it go unnoticed.

“What is it with you and this gift?” he asks, reaching out to flick the bag with his finger. “You’ve been acting weird about it all night.”

Carlos swallows, his tongue darting out to lick his lips as he drops the scoop back in the carton. 

“I lied to you.”

TK stares at him across the counter, taking in the tense set of his shoulders. It’s been awhile since Carlos was this uncomfortable in front of him, and he really doesn’t like it.

“What are you talking about?” he asks, having no idea where this is going. 

“This,” Carlos says, pointing to the gift bag as he circles around the island to stand next to TK, “is not a gift for Employee Appreciation Week.” 

“Okay, what is it then?”

Carlos stares at him for a moment, his eyes wide, before nodding and taking a deep breath, looking like he’s about to jump off a cliff.

“It’s a birthday present.”

“I don’t understand what…” TK trails off, his confusion disappearing as his brain works to put all of the pieces together: the gift bag in front of him, the chocolate cake and ice cream sweating a few feet away. His mouth goes dry, his heart hammering in his chest. His gaze darts back to Carlos, standing in front of him looking a little terrified but also a little eager, like he’s waiting to see what happens next. “It’s your birthday?” TK asks, his voice tight and barely more than a whisper.

Carlos nods.

“Oh my god, Carlos, it’s your birthday!” TK exclaims.

“It is, it is, but it’s fine, it’s nothing, it’s not a big deal,” Carlos rushes to assure him, reaching out to take his hands in his own.

“Not a big deal? It’s your birthday!” TK cries, trying to figure out what to do with this new information. His brain unhelpfully supplies a detail he had forgotten. “Wait, you’re the one who said we should get dinner together tonight,” TK reminds him.

“Yeah, we both had the night off and I wanted to see you,” Carlos mumbles, staring down at their fingers, intertwined between them. TK feels his breath stutter in his chest.

“You wanted to spend your birthday with me?” TK hedges, the words uneven as his heart threatens to choke him from where it’s become lodged in his throat.

Carlos wordlessly shrugs, a complete inversion of his confident attitude from just a few hours ago. TK takes a moment to appreciate how layered he is, how he sometimes feels like a million people in one, but how he’s still always Carlos, no matter what. “I like spending as much time as possible with you,” Carlos states, still not making eye contact. 

TK lets the words roll through him, feeling the way they light up every single nerve ending in his body. He’s surprised to find that they don’t scare him like he thought they would. Ever since the failed dinner date, they’ve both been careful to keep things from getting too serious. They’ve been having fun, hanging out and exploring Austin before coming back to Carlos’s place to roll around in bed together. They’re friends - TK is sure that Carlos is his best friend - and they’re a little bit more than that. 

Maybe TK’s finally ready to face the reality of what that could mean.

He thinks about finding out about his dad’s cancer diagnosis a few weeks ago, and how Carlos was the first person he ran to with the news. He remembers how Carlos talked him down from his uncontained anger and hurt, how he held him tight when he cried. 

Carlos was there for him when he needed him. TK’s only known him for a few months, but Carlos has always been there, strong and steady and grounding. A beacon of safety and comfort.

And TK knows that he wants to be there for Carlos in the exact same way. He honestly can’t imagine being anywhere else, now that he really thinks about it.

“Come here,” he says, tugging gently on Carlos’s hands to pull him closer, opening his legs for Carlos to stand between them. Carlos lets out a sigh, moving to place his hands on TK’s waist when TK wraps his arms around his shoulders. They rest their foreheads together, taking a moment to stare at each other, truly open and honest for maybe the first time. 

“Happy Birthday, Carlos,” TK whispers, waiting for Carlos’s smile to break through his frown before leaning in to steal it from his lips.

His breath catches again as their tongues tangle, their bodies sinking into each other as they give into their embrace. Every kiss with Carlos is worth writing a poem about, if TK was the type of person to write poetry, but this one would definitely inspire TK’s best work. He has a feeling that it’s because of him; he knows that Carlos gives his everything every time, but it’s TK who is now meeting him there with his whole heart. It’s like the wall that he’s put up has fallen away, crumbled to dust in the blink of an eye. Honestly, TK can’t even be bothered; no wall stood a chance against Carlos Reyes anyway. 

Carlos pulls away much sooner than TK thought he would, and as his eyes blink slowly open, he finds the other man staring at him, his brows furrowed once more.

“Are you mad that I didn’t tell you?” Carlos asks, his voice tight.

“No,” TK assures him immediately, reaching up to cup Carlos’s face in his hands. He feels the way Carlos sinks into his hold, letting him take some of his weight, like he trusts TK to keep him upright. “I’m not mad, Carlos. Though, I do wish I would’ve known.”

“I know,” Carlos sighs, reaching up to grip his wrists, dragging his thumbs along TK’s skin. “I know, I should’ve told you. It just… I didn’t want to make it a whole thing, spending my birthday together. I didn’t want to freak you out, I know you’re not looking for that kind of thing, I know this is just us having fun and I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything…” Carlos trails off, his grip tight as if he’s scared TK will jump up and run out of the house again. 

TK feels Carlos’s fear as if it’s hammering against his heart, but he definitely can’t blame the other man for his thoughts. Their past mistakes are all the evidence he needs to understand why Carlos hid this from him. He nods, biting his bottom lip, trying to figure out how to make it clear that he feels differently now, that he actually wants this to be a whole thing. That they’re on this path together now.

The idea comes to him so suddenly that he almost barks out a relieved laugh. Instead, he smacks a quick kiss against Carlos’s lips before jumping up from the stool, watching as Carlos’s eyes widen in panic.

“Wait, what-”

“I think I know how to make sure this never happens again,” TK interrupts, continuing to hold Carlos’s face in his hands as he backs him up a few steps towards the dining table. He pushes Carlos against it, taking pleasure in the way the other man automatically widens his stance, allowing TK to step between his legs and press their hips together. Without a word, he reaches down to grab his phone, smirking as he brings it up between their faces. 

“There,” TK says a moment later, turning his phone to show Carlos, who has stayed silent and slightly terrified this entire time, if his face is anything to go by. He looks over at the screen. “Now I’ll never miss your birthday again.” TK can tell the moment that he processes what he’s seeing, watching as Carlos’s face softens and his arms come up to wrap around his waist. 

“You want to remember my birthday next year?” Carlos clarifies, and TK is surprised to see tears in his glassy brown eyes. He tosses his phone back down on the table, reaching up to run his fingers along the stunning features of Carlos’s face.

“Babe,” he says, testing out the word for the first time and thoroughly enjoying the way it causes Carlos to vibrate against him, “I want to remember everything about you.”

There’s barely any warning before Carlos is on top of him, their lips attached once again as Carlos lays claim to him like a man unleashed. TK gives it all back to him, the two of them speaking paragraphs in touches and tastes and sighs and moans. There’s no holding back, not anymore.

When they are finally forced to pull back for air, TK takes pride in Carlos’s disheveled appearance, his curls wild and his face flushed and his lips bruised. He knows he probably looks the same, and he loves seeing the proof of their want and desire and need for each other with his own two eyes. He drags his fingers along Carlos’s plump lips, realizing for the first time that they are his to kiss, for as long as Carlos will let him. 

“This is the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” Carlos sighs, and TK meets his eyes to find them blown black but fixed on him, his gaze never wavering. 

“While I am obviously very glad to hear that,” TK begins, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to his favorite lips again, “you should see what kind of birthday gifts I give when I’ve had time to plan them. I can promise you, you’re not ready for next year.”

“I’m ready for anything, as long as I’ve got you,” Carlos says without hesitation.

TK groans, falling forward to press his face into Carlos’s neck, feeling the vibration of his soft chuckle against his cheek. “You’re so sickeningly sweet, I can’t stand it.” Carlos merely hums, dragging his hands up and down TK’s back to soothe him. 

They stay like that for a few moments, just enjoying the way they get to hold one another, before TK pulls back to give Carlos a look.

“Speaking of sickeningly sweet,” he teases, his fingers dancing along Carlos’s thighs on either side of him, “what do you say we take that cake and ice cream upstairs and unwrap some other presents, birthday boy?” He finishes the suggestion with a raise of his eyebrows, watching as the blush on Carlos’s face deepens before he lets out a loud, bright laugh, the two of them falling into each other as they struggle to remain upright against the table.

And TK decides that this, right here, being deliriously happy in Carlos’s arms, is everything that he could ever want or wish for.

On this day, and every birthday they’ll spend together after.

#tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star #tk strand #carlos reyes #I wrote a thing

[personasintro]

games n' sex | ksj drabble

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀; game date sounds perfect, until it slowly turns into something more and you and your boyfriend are ready to take another step in your relationship

𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: fluff, smut

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: strong language, protected sex, virgin!jin, virgin!reader, nerd!jin, they're both kinda nerds, fingering, first time sex, jin has a huge dick (can't believe I just wrote that) 

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 7.6k

a/n: commissioned by the amazing @hyacinthgrrls​! this was supposed to be 3k but it ended up being longer😳 thank you for your patience!!

𝗺.𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 | ☕️

“So, tell me again, why are you wearing those glasses?”

Your boyfriend asks without even looking at you, eyes too focused on the screen that’s in front of him as he clicks the computer mouse repeatedly.

“I look like a nerd with them,” you answer, snorting when you see him from the corner of your eyes giving you a side glance. “And I look smart in them.” you add to clarify, glancing back at the screen of your own laptop.

You’ve been dating together for six months, but doing nothing and playing games is still one of the best dates. You’re able to enjoy yourselves, get frustrated together and then laugh it off. Someone would call the two of you nerds, which you probably are, but not that you or Seokjin care.

“You’re a nerd,” he points out, screaming out of pain when you repeatedly smack his arm. “No, no, no! I lost! Why would you hit me?” he whines frustredly, a satisfied smirk appearing on your lips as you see a big ‘game over’ on his screen.

“You called me nerd.” you tell him, raising a brow as he innocently shrugs his broad shoulders.

“You could’ve just wait until the round is over.” he mumbles, causing you to glare at him but even if he noticed it, he ignores you and starts another round.

That little shit. He’s teasing you, he knows how much it annoys you when he ignores you. The little twitch of his mouth says it all and you groan, clicking your mouse furiously.

“This is such a bullshit, I don’t know how to play this. We should’ve played The Sims or GTA, not whatever this is called.” you roll your eyes when white big letters ‘game over’ appears on your screen as well.

“First of all, The Sims and GTA are lame. And Fortnite isn’t lame, it’s one of the best games on the market right now. How can you be so disrespectful?” he scolds you, causing you to sigh in annoyance.

“You didn’t think of The Sims as lame when you were literally competing with me who will build a better house. It seemed like you enjoyed it more than I did.” you point out, remembering when you were playing the mentioned game just a few weeks ago.

“I wasn’t competing!” he exclaims, his neck getting red which causes you to raise your brow in obvious disbelief.

There are three reasons when his neck gets red. When he’s got too much attention, gets frustrated or when he’s lying. It’s obviously the third option and it’s quite amusing to see he’s still trying to stand up for himself, when the two of you know you’re right. It’s always funny whenever he gets worked up over something so silly.

“You even danced when you claimed that your house looks better!” you exclaim, laughing when he stutters over his words but doesn’t have anything to say back, so he shakes like a scared dog before he lets out a sigh of defeat. “See, I was right.” you still mutter, ignoring the glare he gives you this time.

He turns back, his attention focus on another round which makes you whine and shut your laptop. “This game is no fun.”

“You’re saying that because you don’t know how to play it,” he points out, making your eyes roll even though you know he’s right. “Come here, I’ll show you.” he says, patting his lap as he slowly pulls away with a desk chair to give you a better space.

“Fine, but if I’m not good at it we’re gonna play something else.” you grumble, standing up to sit down onto his lap which is surprisingly even more comfortable than the desk chair you’ve been sitting on for forty minutes.

Of course, it is more comfortable. This is your extremely handsome boyfriend we’re talking about, every chance you get to be closer to him is exciting. Even if it’s him showing you how to play one of his favorite games.

When you finally find the right position on his lap, Jin pulls the chair closer to his desk so the two of you can see the screen clearer. Jin sets a new game, a set of characters filling up the screen as he clicks on a random character.

“Why would you choose her? I want Thor.” you point towards the character that symbolizes one of the Avengers.

“Why him?” he asks, tone laced with curiosity as he clicks on him and chooses him for the game instead.

“He’s hot.” you shrug, causing your boyfriend to snort at your honesty and answer.

“Because he’s hot? You know he’s just a character, right?” he snickers, straightening himself as if he’s the one playing this round.

You know he’ll enjoy giving you tips and explaining this game to you. He loves to do that even when you can play a certain game just fine, without his constant tips and advices.

“I didn’t mean him as a character in this game. I meant Chris Hemsworth, obviously.” you roll your eyes, causing him to snort.

“Since when do you like Chris Hemsworth?” You can’t see him, with you being turned with your back to him, but you can hear the frown on his lips clearly.

“I don’t,” you shrug, “I just love him as Thor. Have you seen him with his hammer showing off those strong arms and when he creates storm with all the lights—“

“Okay, okay. I really don’t wanna hear my girlfriend gushing over some guy who plays a fictional character,” he mutters behind you.

You giggle, ready to tease him about him being jealous and it’s absurd how this topic got into your conversation in the first place, but just as you’re opening your mouth your boyfriend shushes you.

“Now pay attention, the game is starting.” he says, eyes already swallowing the whole screen as he starts giving you instructions.

Ten minutes later of Jin's constant talking, mixed with whining and yelling whenever you lose, you’re the one who whines. You were just getting a hang of it and then your character got killed, and you don’t even know how that happened. Jin’s frustration is the only thing that keeps you entertained, you just love how worked up he gets over a game. After another ten minutes, you’re finally able to play the game without any kills of your character but even then, Jin doesn’t remit himself from his sudden orders and exclamation. When you finally kill a fair amount of enemies, you jump in delight and excitement completely oblivious to Jin’s grunt and hands on your hips.

“Princess, calm down.” he mutters behind you, only causing you to turn around and shift in his lap. Again, he glares at you looking through his thick eyelashes.

“What’s the matter? Did you see that? I’m practically a pro at this game!” you exclaim in excitement, doing a funny dance which causes him to curse underneath his breath.

“Jesus fuck, stop moving.” he pleads, causing you to stop as you frown.

Confusion laces your make-up free features, before you finally feel it. His covered bulge that’s hardening, poking you in the ass. When realization hits your face, you gasp loudly as you stare at your boyfriend with open mouth. He blushes, avoiding your gaze as he tries to play it off with a cough but that only makes you grin at him. You barely get to see him so shy and embarrassed, although there’s nothing embarrassing about this.

“Are you getting hard?” You don’t mean to tease him, not wanting him to feel embarrassed, but you can’t help it but to feel a sudden rush of excitement rushing through you. A different kind of excitement than you winning a round.

“Can we just ignore this happened? I’m freaking embarrassed.” he murmurs, leaning his forehead against your back so he hides his flushed face from you.

“Why? You don’t have to be embarrassed, Jinnie.” you tell him, hand reaching behind to stroke his thick black hair.

“I just got hard over you squirming in my lap, I think that’s a valid reason to be embarrassed.” he says, voice muffled by your back as you giggle.

“Why? I find it hot.” you shrug, causing him to snort in disbelief. He doesn’t believe you, you’re just trying to make this better and not to embarrass him.

And to prove your point, you squirm yourself again this time intentionally, making sure you aim at his hardening length that makes him wrap his arms around you.

“Y/N,” he warns you, trying to stop you but you only press even more making him gasp.

Even you can feel yourself getting aroused from the lack of friction, but just the thought and the littlest feeling of his dick rubbing against you drives you crazy.

“Don’t start something we won’t finish.” he tells you, groaning when you roll your hips against him.

Even the music from the game is completely ignored by the both of you. Thank god, you’re not calling and playing with Jungkook or Yoongi. If they heard the two of you, they wouldn’t let you live. They often tease you about your sex life, just because they’re two dorks who likes to embarrass you and Jin. And you’re usually the one who seems to be confident, opening your mouth to tell them something and turn the topic around, so they’re the ones who are left embarrassed. The truth is, you and Jin haven’t had sex yet. There’s no particular reason behind that, you just never talked about it openly and you thought he doesn’t want to have sex yet. You want it to happen naturally, you don’t need roses and everything planned like in those teen snappy movies. Your desires are often taken care of as Jin pleasing you with his mouth or fingers or you giving him a handjob or a blowjob. As much as Yoongi and Jungkook think the two of you probably play games rather than have sex, that’s not completely true. Yes, you do play games. A lot. But that doesn’t mean you and your body isn’t screaming for Jin. You’re patient and there was never a reason to bring that specific topic, not when you satisfied yourselves just fine without him actually sticking his dick into you. Maybe it’s taking longer because you’re both virgins. Even you giving him a handjob and blowjob used completely new to you. Just like him using his mouth and fingers. It took some time to learn each other’s bodies but you love how natural it all felt. Still does.

“We always finish,” you remark, “I want you.”

“Fuck,” he gasps, and you swear you feel his dick twitching inside his sweatpants. “You want my mouth or fingers?” he asks, letting you rub yourself against his lap as he latches his mouth onto the crook of your neck.

“You,” you gasp, throwing your head back at the feeling of his mouth and dick. “I want all of you.”

You realize what you’ve just said. Your juices already stain your underwear and just the thought of his dick inside you makes you squirm with much more neediness. You don’t even know where is this coming from. You were always okay just with him using his fingers or mouth, or both.

But it seems like you’re the only one who realizes your words.

“You’ve me, princess. You’ve got all of me.” he says against your skin, leaving sloppy kisses down your neck as you circle your hips.

“No, Jin. I wanna have sex with you. Now, like right now.” you tell him, his mouth stopping as he freezes underneath you.

You almost fear you crossed a line or something, and you even stop your movements as you just quickly sit down onto his lap while biting your lower lip.

He shakes out of his shock and shoots a set of questions at you.

“What? All of a sudden? Are you sure?”

Giggling, you take his hands into yours as you play with them. All while still turned with your back to him. “Yes, I don’t wanna wait any longer. If that’s okay with you, of course. I love you, and I know you’re the one for me.”

“If I’m okay with it? Princess, you’ll be the one who gets to be stuffed with a dick. Not me.” he says, causing you to snort.

“Jeez, thanks. You made this better.” you tell him ironically, causing him to sigh as he lifts up your hips and turns you to the side, so he can see at least side of your face.

“No, what I mean is... that this is something you’ve to think about. You’ve to be sure because once it happens, once I’ll take it, there’s no going back.” he tells you, gently tucking his fingers under your chin before he turns your head to face him.

His eyes sparkle with generosity and love, just affirming you that he really is the one.

“You’re acting like you’ve had sex before. You’re a virgin too.” you snicker, pointing out quite obvious fact only two of you know.

“Yeah, well, guys don’t care about their virginity that much. It’s not as important to them like to some girls.” he shrugs, explaining himself.

“Them? Are you saying that it’s important to you?” you question him, seeing him giving you a slight smile.

“It’s important to me that it’s with someone I love. That’s why I waited so long and haven’t sticked my dick to the first girl who offered.” he tells you.

“Can you not like, talk about other girls and how much of them wanted you?” you snort, seeing him giving you a cocky smirk.

Having a handsome boyfriend is a crazy ride. Plus, if that boyfriend is prettier than you. For fucks sake, even men in the shopping center are checking him out.

“It’s not my fault I’m so desired,” he jokes, but stops when he sees you glaring at him. “No, but really. It’s not as important to me as it might be to you, but like I said, I want to have sex with someone I love. And you’re that one for me, I’ve known a long time ago that I wanna lost it with you. I just wanna make sure you really want this.”

“Of course, I want this,” you cup his face into your small hands and caress his cheeks with your thumbs. “I don’t need this to be romantic and all that shit. All I want is you and I feel like right now is the right time.”

“Aren’t you saying that just because you’re wet?”

“Oh my god, Seokjin. No, I’m not.” you roll your eyes, voice raising to prove your point.

“You’re not what exactly? Wet or saying this because you’re wet?” he asks, pointing with his fingers to mimic the two different things.

Letting out a loud whine, you hear him laugh as his whole body shakes. “I’m not saying this because I’m wet. Plus, I think I’m no longer wet after this conversation.” you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest as you look away from your boyfriend who seems to have that one specific shit eating grin.

“Oh, come on. Don’t get mad at me now,” he fakes a pout, nudging your shoulder with his forehead before he gives it a soft peck. “I just really want to know if you’re hundred percent sure. That’s all that matters to me.”

Looking at him, you’re met with the same soft and loving eyes you fell in love with, and you can’t help but kiss him. He’s surprised by your sudden reaction, but grabs your face for a better angle as he starts moving his lips. Your tongues dance together, feeling one another before he gently bites onto your lip although, he does it too harshly and you gasp.

“Ow, fuck, Jin!” you scold him, holding your lip as you feel a metal flavor in your mouth. “Why would you do that?” you exclaim, looking at your wide-eyed boyfriend.

“I’m sorry!” he apologizes quickly, “I was trying to do that thing they do in a movies, I didn’t think I’d bite that hard.” he reasons, softly tugging your hand away as he eyes your little wound.

There’s just tiny blood, nothing major but he still stares at it with saddened gaze. You can’t holding, bursting in laughter which causes him to look up at you confusingly.

“We’re such a losers.” you tell him, still laughing.

He sighs in relief, shaking his head before a tiny smile plays on his lips. “I’m sorry.” he apologizes again.

Waving him off, you let him know it’s okay and you’re nowhere near finished with him. Turning around, you sit onto his lap rather clumsily, but Jin’s strong arms are there to hold before you’re finally seated and facing him. Nudging his tone with your own, you kiss him again. This time, he controls himself and doesn’t try to bite off your lip. He’s more careful, even though he groans into your mouth with neediness. Rolling your hips into his, you go back to your previous movements that lights up the fire through your veins. It feels good, so good that you feel your panties sticking to your heat and desperate for more touch. Understandably, it’s not enough even though it feels nice. But nice is not enough.

Detaching your lips, Jin flickers his eyes open in a silent question of you pulling away. Licking your lips that taste like him, you look at him through your hooded eyes almost pleadingly.

“I need you, Jin. Take me to your bedroom.”

He nods, understanding the frustration and need behind your words. He feels the same and that’s why he doesn’t hesitate when he tightens his hold on you and stands up. Automatically, you wrap your legs around his frame and silence your squeal by pressing your face into his shoulder. Just as you’re about to compliment his strong arms, and how stronger he’s became ever since he started working out with Jungkook, you’re not able to voice out your thoughts when Jin stumbles onto something and almost sends the both of you onto the floor.

“Jin!” you yell, holding him for dear life as he curses and stumbles some more before he finds a balance.

“Fucking slippers. I told you not to leave them in the middle of the room.” he scolds you, causing you to gasp.

“So, you’re blaming me because you’re clumsy?” you ask him, a frown settling on your face as he tries to open the door to his room.

Luckily, he manages to do that successfully without no injury or danger. He walks you towards his bed, softly pulling you down although he still glares at you. “I’m not clumsy, you’re just too messy.” he blames you, causing you to gasp in disbelief.

“I am messy?” you exclaim, finger digging into your chest as you stare at your boyfriend who starts to chuckle before he hovers over you.

He connects your lips in a soft kiss, silencing you with those plump lips that you can never resist.

“Uhm, you’re. But I love you and your messiness.”

You should be offended he thinks of you as a messy person, which you’re not. Okay, maybe you leave things a certain way and forget to put them back to its place, but it’s nothing too dramatic. You know he’s just teasing you and doesn’t take it too seriously.

He’s kissing you, exploring your mouth like it’s the first time you’re kissing, savoring every moment while his hands travel down your body before you urge him to take off your clothes. You don’t have to voice it, Jin understands you perfectly when you lift your hips up and squirm in your place. He smirks against your kiss, loving how needy you are even though his heart is beating so fast against his rib cage that he fears you can feel it too. He can’t believe today is the day he can make love to you.

He’s taking off your sweatshirt first, catching your earring onto the fabric that causes you to cry out as he’s trying to fix it in a panic. Repeatedly, honest but hectic, words of apology leaves his mouth until he finally manages to take it off without ripping your sweatshirt or causing you any harm. He takes off your glasses that have no real meaning, tossing it onto the mattress beside you but they bounce, falling down the floor.

“Jin, those were expensive!” you scold him, trying to see if they’re in one piece but your boyfriend kindly nudges you to your shoulder.

“No, they weren’t. Aren’t they from Bershka?” he shrugs, kissing down your neck.

You’re trying really hard to think, to talk back at him but it’s almost impossible at the feeling of those damn soft and tender lips.

“Fifteen thousand won is still expensive.” you try to argue, knowing how shitty your argument is. They weren’t that expensive, but they’re pretty and it’d be a shame if they broke because of Jin being careless.

“No, it’s not. If they’re broken, which they aren’t, I’ll buy you a new ones.” he tells you simply, causing you to snort at how easy he throws this argument out of window.

“I bought them last year, they don’t have them anymore.” you grumble back, causing him to groan as he’s working on your sweatpants trying to undo your knot.

“Oh my god, woman. Are you gonna argue me this whole time?” he asks in disbelief, eyes flickering to yours before he lets out a chuckle when he sees your smirk.

“Maybe.” you shrug sassily, however he decides to ignore your teasing and yells in triumph when he finally undo the knot.

Taking off your clothes doesn’t take too long, this time with no harm on your part or your clothes, although he still tosses them onto the floor carelessly. You don’t even comment it anymore, knowing it’s pointless and it’d just evoke another round of bickering. You finally understand what Yoongi meant when he said the two of you are fighting like an old married couple.

Jin has seen you naked couple of times, but you squirm underneath his darkened gaze because knowing what you’re about to do feels much more intimate than ever. He notices your tinted red cheeks and your eyes drifting elsewhere, avoiding him. He catches your attention by reaching for your face, caressing your hot cheek as he smiles.

“You’re so beautiful.” he says softly, your cheeks flaming even more.

It’s nothing new, Jin makes sure to tell you how much beautiful you are almost every day. But it still brings shots of joy and shyness through your body like it’s the first time he has ever said such thing. Most of the time he tells you you’re beautiful in the most inconvenient time. Like that time when you were sick and he surprised you with a warm soup, seeing you with a greesy hair and red nose while snot kept running down your nose.

“Go away, I look ugly.” you told him that time, covering your face with a thick blanket.

But he just laughed you off, shaking his head before he slowly put down the blanket and exposed your sweaty face. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

He told you and even though you didn’t believe him, considering how awful you looked back then, the honesty that was in his eyes is the same one he holds right now.

His words of love and honesty sends relief rushing through your body and you allow yourself relax, not wanting to feel any discomfort that he’s seeing you naked. Jin’s fingers travel down your neck, slowly touching your chest before he moves down your stomach. Every move he makes, his eyes flicker to yours as if he’s checking your reaction, and it warms your heart. Biting onto your lower lip, you take a deep breath when his fingers hover over your heat.

“Open up for me, princess.” he whispers, not budging as he waits for you to react. He gives you space to back out, this is different than all the times you were intimate together, so he’s extra careful with each move he makes.

However you don’t need him to be extra careful, of course you appreciate it, but you’re hundred percent sure of this. That’s why you spread your legs and allow his eyes to see your glistening core. His breath catches in his throat and he almost starts to choke but he plays it cool, gulping furiously with widened eyes. It makes you giggle, finding his reaction natural and amusing. Also, it strokes your ego quite a lot knowing the sight of your heat makes him react this way.

Spreading your folds, he starts rubbing your wet pussy while biting onto his lower lip. Moaning, you spread your legs even more to give him more space especially when he starts kissing your thighs. He drinks you in, looking up at you through his hooded eyes and thick eyelashes, all while peppering your exposed skin with soft kisses and fingers spreading your wetness. He sinks his finger in, cursing when he feels your walls clenching around his single digit. Circling onto your clit with his thumb, he leans down before he latches those plump lips replacing his thumb. Arching your back from the mattress, you gasp when he starts making out with your clit, while still pumping his finger. Your juices leak out of you, embarrassingly almost too much, but you don’t seem to care. Your attention is solely on your boyfriend and how much he pleases you. He takes the opportunity to sink another finger in, penetrating your tight hole even more. It feels so fucking amazing and you plead him for more.

Your attentive boyfriend, whose goal is to make you feel good, listens to you and adds another finger. This time, you feel the stretch even more and you moan loudly when he curls all three fingers inside you. He rubs your velvety walls, picking up the pace until your legs are shaking and he recognizes as a sign of approaching orgasm. Ten more pumps of his long fingers, the knot in your stomach loosen up and you’re letting go, finally cumming around his fingers that rides you through your orgasm.

He takes that time, and the fact your cum is stripping down his fingers and your heat, he adds another finger. You gasp, his name leaving your mouth at the sudden pressure.

“I know, princess. I just need to stretch you out some more.” he says, deciding to pull out when he sees your face scrunched in discomfort.

Flickering your eyes open, you look at your boyfriend who takes his glistening fingers from your cum into a mouth. He cleans them off, making sure he’s looking straight into your eyes as he does it. You gasp, slowly sitting up as you lean towards him and connect your lips. He yelps in surprise into your mouth, not expecting you to kiss him so suddenly but he welcomes it. The fact you’re kissing him despite where his mouth just was, and that you can taste yourself on his tongue, drives him insane as he groans into your mouth. Your hands travel down his chest, caressing him through his shirt when you slowly pull away.

“You’re wearing too much clothes,” you comment quietly, biting your lip when you see his smirk. “We need to change that.”

And you do. He helps you taking off his clothes, your eyes and hands too busy touching his broad shoulders that you’ve always admired. His movements are quick and he doesn’t show how horny he is to finally feel how it feels like being inside someone. No, it’s not like that at all. He takes off all of his clothes slowly, kissing you every now and then as you urge him to keep going. It’s almost like he’s waiting for you to stop him any second. Not because he wants to stop, but because he’s thoughtful enough to make sure you still want this. Warmth spreads all over your heart and when the last piece of clothing is taken off, which happens to be his boxers, you pull him closer and kiss him passionate and hard.

He’s surprised, but kisses you back with the same intensity. You can feel the love through your kiss, it’s magical. You’ve never felt about anyone this way, and it’s not just because he’s your boyfriend. But even when the two of you met, he was such a spectacular person that sparked a light of interest inside you.

“What was that for?” he asks breathlessly, as soon as you pull away.

Shrugging, you smile at him. “I just love you so much.” you admit, his features softening even more as he pouts for some reason.

“I love you too, my princess.” he says, kissing you again before you’re laying down and spreading your legs.

Gulping, he looks at your heat before his eyes are back staring into yours. “Are you, really like, really sure about this?”

“You seem more nervous than me. I’m the one who is gonna be stuffed with your dick, after all.” you tease, hearing him groan causing you to shrug.

He’s the one who said it like that. You’re just repeating his own words.

“I’m serious about this, Y/N.” he tells you softly, but his voice still holds some kind of seriousness that makes him even hotter.

He’s so fucking hot, you can’t believe he’s your boyfriend. From his beautiful black hair that almost fall into his eyes that adds major points to his sexiness, to his naked form that shows how broad and muscular he is. He’s no bodybuilder, but you can see his fit stomach and biceps that are definitely proof of his hard work of working out. And his intelligence and the dork side of him, just adds to his sexiness. It’s an interesting combination but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“If you really ask me that one more time, I swear— yes, Jinnie, I’m sure about this.” you sigh, appreciating that he’s so thoughtful and constantly checking up with you.

As much as you appreciate what he’s doing, you’re too horny and you want to feel him. There some kind of nervousness because well, you’ve never experienced what you’re about to do. But you’re rather excited and giddy, wanting to take this next step, both in your life and relationship. It feels right.

“Okay.” Is all he says, adding a special softness into his tone as he pulls away and gives you a perfect sight of his hardened length.

Gulping, you almost forgot how long and thick he is. It definitely sends a wave of arousal and nervousness at the same time to your body. Luckily, Jin doesn’t notice your widened eyes and the way you dryly gulp as he reaches for the nightstand beside your head. If he noticed, he’d surely ask you the same question he’s already asked too many times.

When he shuts the drawer with a loud thud, louder than you both expected causing you to flinch, he sheepishly grins and apologizes but you just shake it off with a quick wave of your hand. Your attention is back onto his hardened cock that slaps against his stomach, while your boyfriend’s hands are too busy opening up the condom wrapper. Slowly sitting up, his eyes flicker to yours but are back to the silver wrapper completely oblivious about your next step. As soon as you wrap your small hand that barely hugs his length, he gasps and jerks forward in surprise.

“Come on, keep going. Open it.” you urge him, slowly squeezing him as he gulps and nods.

However, he seems to grow even more frustrated when he can’t open it even with using his teeth causing you to laugh.

“What the hell? I can’t open this.” he complains, cheeks red and evident frown decorating his face.

Hiding a snort, you take the condom from your frustrated boyfriend’s hands, opening it up with ease. Arching a brow at him, you smile when he shyly coughs and tries to hide the same red tint that his cheeks have. Although, before you can tease him a little bit over the fact he really has condoms in his nightstand, since you really haven’t planned this, you notice something different.

“Extra large?” you ask, studying the wrapper with widened eyes as they turn into a mere smirk. Looking up at your boyfriend, you don’t see the look that you expect him to have.

You expect him to be cocky, confident because despite of his nerd and dorky personality, this man can really find his confidence in the most bizarre situations which makes you love him even more. Guys are usually confident about their dick size.

Aren’t they having some comparison competition of their dicks size?

But not your boyfriend. His cheeks seem to get even more red while he innocently shrugs.

“Ah, it’s... nothing.” he murmurs, causing you to chuckle.

“It’s nothing? You’re gonna rip me in half.” you exclaim, giggling when you see the terror in his deep brown eyes.

“No! I wouldn’t— we don’t have to continue.” he sulks back, trying to hide his aching length with hands over it but he’s doing a poor job at it.

“No, no. That’s not what I meant,” you assure him, cursing yourself for teasing him. It’s not the right time to do that. “I was just joking,”

Kinda. There really is a chance he’s not going to fit.

“Come on, Jin. I’ll be fine, I’m waiting for you.” you tease, waving him with a condom before you hand it to him.

Slowly, he takes it and gulps when you lay back and spread your legs for him. You watch him clumsily putting it on before he’s checking if he’s done it properly. He’s so cute, yet sexy when his muscles flex with each movement.

When he’s pleased with himself, he hovers over you and kisses you slowly. You melt into the kiss, nothing else on your mind than your boyfriend’s lips and him as the person you love the most. Gasping into his mouth, you’re surprised when you feel his hand over your heat before he dips his three fingers in and scissors them while he’s trying to do the best to penetrate your hole again.

“I know, I know,” he murmurs against your lips, but doesn’t pull away entirely. “I gotta do this.” he says, pumping them all over again.

This time, he’s trying to penetrate you even more than the first time and it takes two minutes until you’re falling apart again and having the second orgasm of the day. You’re more than aware that you probably won’t have any orgasm during the actual sex. Your cum leaks down Jin’s fingers as he pulls them out but doesn’t put them in a mouth this time. Through hooded eyes, you watch him smearing your cum all over his length that’s securely wrapped in a condom that glistens from your juices. Your pulsating heat clenches around nothing, finding this extremely hot and exciting.

When he hovers over you again, you know it’s time. His hands on both sides of your head and eyes locked into yours, he licks his plump lips as he opens his mouth. “You ready?”

You nod, stuttering over your words knowing he wants to hear you say it, rather than give him a nonverbal answer. “Yes, ready.”

Jin takes a deep breath, which comes out shaky before he wraps his hand around his length. Giving himself a few pumps, your cum a perfect lubricant to make the act easier, before he’s ready to enter you. However, he doesn’t expect you to jerk and yelp so loudly that he backs away immediately with a terrified look.

“What’s-what’s wrong?” he asks right away, staring at your closed eyes and red cheeks.

“That was my... other hole,” you scold him, “you were about to...”

You don’t need to finish for him to understand what he’s done and what you mean before his own cheeks are back to red color. Along his neck that shows his embarrassment even more.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I thought— I’m such an idiot.” he sulks, almost ready to cry as you chuckle at the situation and reach for him.

“No, just be careful.”

His head snaps up, eyes staring at you. “You wanna keep going?”

He sounds genuinely surprised. Poor guy, he probably thought you don’t want his dick anywhere near you. Not after he almost entered into a wrong hole, the whole situation is ridiculously funny despite of your heart hammering in your neck from the fact it could all go wrong.

“Of course,” you assure him, hiding a smile that he still notices. “Just be careful, make sure you... y’know...”

Oh, fuck. Since when do you get this awkward?

“Ah, yeah, of course.” Jin nods before he hovers over you all again.

This time, his eyes stay attached to his length while he makes sure he enters you well.

The first second of his tip poking your clit makes you shiver, your whole body ready to take him while you can’t believe you’re about to lose your virginity. And the fact it’s with someone you love deeply, it makes it all even more special.

When you feel him against your heat, ready to push in, you hold your breath while you’re trying to keep yourself relaxed.

“Oh fuck,” you curse, already feeling him stretching you even though he’s not even in.

He eyes you carefully, moving when you give him a short nod to let him keep going. With each gasp and inch he pushes in, he really makes sure he can continue as he starts filling you in. Tears prickle in your eyes, the stretch seems almost too unbearable while you feel like you’re being ripped in half. When Jin tells you that he’s not even halfway in, you almost cry out loud but you’re doing your best trying to control your reactions. You know as soon Jin would see you struggle to take him too much, he’ll back out immediately. His hand goes back between your legs, shaky fingers circling your clit as he’s trying to make this more bearable for you. It helps, not too much but it’s definitely better since there’s at least some kind of friction. As soon as he’s all way in, and he doesn’t fail to inform you about that, you finally let out long and shaky breath that you were holding. The feeling is so weird, not comfortable at all, but bearable even though you feel like he’s poking your stomach. You look down, eyes widening when you see an evident bulge of your stomach that’s Jin’s dick. He looks down, cursing at the sight as he goes to kiss you.

“You’re doing so good, princess.” he praises you, letting you adjust to him while he whispers praises all kind to your ear.

This is it. You’re not a virgin anymore.

You don’t feel any triumphant feeling because of it, although there’s so much love inside your heart knowing you’ve taken this huge step with your loving boyfriend.

When your arms and legs are wrapped around his much bigger body than your is, you tap his back telling him to move. He looks skeptical but nods as he starts pulling out. You cringe at the feeling, breathing through it before he slowly enters you again. He repeats this, making the feeling and tension better even though you can’t feel any pleasure yet.

It’s an instinct, his body telling him to go faster and harder on you, but he’s controlling himself so much. All because of you. He doesn’t want to hurt you and even though, he knows you’re not enjoying this as much as he is, he’s trying to do his best to make this memorable for you.

He doesn’t know that it already is pretty memorable for you.

When you start to feel the slightest pinch of pleasure, you let out a soft gasp mixed with a moan that Jin recognizes right away, he lets himself relax more and does what his body tells him to. He starts thrusting into you with more swift and steady thrusts, which after a few seconds turn into faster and needy ones. Face burrowed into the mattress that’s right underneath and beside your neck, he’s grunting and falling apart with each second. Caressing his back, you coax him and tell him how amazing he is, how much you love him.

“I love you s—“

“A-aaaahhh,” he cuts you off with a low and loud moan, his body stopping all of a sudden as his hips jerk before his heavy body crushes you.

He fills up the condom, chest heaving with harsh and fast breaths like he just ran a marathon.

Did he just cum?

You let your boyfriend stay like that until he fully recovers from his orgasm, still recovering yourself over the fact it took him three minutes to cum. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, especially after he just discovered why everyone praises sex so much. He understands now.

Pulling out of you, he lifts himself up as he sits onto his knees and stares at you with flushed cheeks and shy gaze. “I’m sorry.”

You frown in confusion, slowly sitting up as well, ignoring the ache between your legs and emptiness that Jin has left there. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I-I thought I’d last longer, you didn’t even cum.” he murmurs embarrassingly, sliding off the condom with a cringe while he tosses it into bin that’s in the corner of his bedroom.

He avoids your eyes, slowly sitting back into his previous spot as he wishes he could just bury himself.

“It’s okay,” you tell him softly, reaching for his hand thag you caress gently. “I came twice. Please, don’t worry about it.”

“But you didn’t even enjoy it!” he exclaims, suddenly growing frustrated why you’re so fine with this.

He’s so fucking embarrassed and the look in your eyes screams pity.

“How do you know that? I enjoyed that, Jin, trust me. Maybe I didn’t cum or was screaming out of pleasure, but this was the first time we were doing this. The feeling was so foreign but I know it’ll get better next time, and then better and better, until we can’t get enough of it.” you tell him, coming closer to him as you bump your foreheads before you kiss him.

He doesn’t object, letting you kiss him while he kisses you back before you pull back and he sighs.

“Are you sure?” he mumbles softly.

“Of course,” you nod, “Three minutes aren’t that bad. I thought you’d last less to be honest.” you comment causing him to glare at you.

“Y/N!” he exclaims in embarrassment, trying to hide his face but you don’t allow him to, gripping his hands tightly in your smaller ones.

“I’m joking, I’m joking!” you laugh, shaking your head. “I can’t believe we’re not virgins anymore.”

For some reason, Jin smiles and stares at you. As you’re about to ask him while he’s staring at you, he beats you to it and his soft voice resounds in the room.

“Me too, and I can’t believe we hadn’t planned it as well. It just happened and I can’t believe it did. I love you.” he confesses.

“Aw, come here, I love you too.” you gush, reaching for another kiss which he gladly gives you.

“But I still can’t get over the smell of sex.” he scrunches his nose as he starts sniffling which makes you snort.

“Well get used to it,” you pat his shoulder, standing up.

You don’t care that you can feel his eyes on your naked ass, silently admiring your body you used to be insecure about. Turning around, he tries to masks the fact he really stared at your ass but fails miserably as usual.

“We’re not gonna play Fornite or other games that much anymore.” you smirk, crouching down to pick up your glasses that for Jin’s sake, are untouched with no damage done.

“No games?” he asks with open mouth and doe eyes, causing you to snort.

“Who’s the nerd now?”

“I’m not nerd!” he says, standing up as he helps you to pick up your clothes.

“Whatever you say,” you mumble, teasing him which you do successfully when you see him pouting from the corner of your eyes. “But I could really play another round of fornite after we take a shower.” you suggest, his eyes lightening all of a sudden as he nods.

“Yeah, let’s go!” he calls out in a complete excitement as he rushes to the bathroom that makes you snicker.

“Nerd,” you mumble, not expecting him to hear you.

“I heard you!” he yells, obviously hearing you.

A soft smile plays on your lips as you put your glasses on top of his desk, following your boyfriend to the bathroom.

The whole day is spent with you two playing games, ignoring messages from your friends before you go for a round two.

But it’s not Fornite or any game that Jin can gush about.

Because you happen to be the only thing he loves to gush about, and his determination to make you feel good and understand how making love really feels, is his next task that you happily obey.

#networkbangtan #bts smut #bts fluff #bts au #seokjin smut #jin smut #jin scenario #seokjin scenario #kim seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #bts oneshot #bts scenario #kpop fanfic #kpop au #personasintro

[xxiaoyang]

divine | xiaojun (m)

xiaojun has been working extra hard lately, so you decide to reward him for his efforts and make sure he knows how amazing he is

words: 3k

warnings/tags: smut, praise, body worship, oral, kinda dom!reader, sub!xiaojun, noona kink?, feelings, some fluff, this is pretty soft i think

a/n: the make a wish mv made me feel all sorts of ways, and i just think xiaojun is perfect so.

you're sitting on your couch in your apartment transfixed by the video on the tv in front you when your phone vibrates next to you, pulling you from your trance.

did you watch it yet?

it was your sweet boyfriend, dejun, wondering if you had already seen the music video for his unit's new song.

he must not have thought that you would be watching the clock, ready by your tv for it to be posted so you could see just what he had been up to the past few weeks. dejun was being oddly secretive about this comeback in particular. normally he would be running to you, excited to show you some new choreo or sing for you since you always expressed how much you loved it. to be frank, he loved the praise.

so it was surprising that this time he shared almost nothing about this new song with you. but now, after watching the music video about six times and repeating his parts several more, you understand why.

you're almost thankful that he never came to you and showed you anything before the release, because the finished product was overwhelming, to say the least. and if he showed up in front of you with that, you might not have let him finish his part.

you grabbed your phone immediately to answer him.

of course i did. baby, that was...

you were...

you were at a loss for words. there was nothing you loved more than seeing dejun looking so confident on stage, feeling good and shining under the spotlight. the way he lost himself in his performance took your breath away every time - and made you extremely hot. he was irresistible.

dejun giggled to himself at your reaction, knowing exactly the effect it had on you and how you were feeling. he just wished he could get there quicker.

is that a good thing? was i alright?

he knew very well that you were practically drooling over him, but he wanted to hear it. the only validation he really cared for was yours. it made him feel so good and made him want to do whatever it would take to please you and hear it more.

you scoffed at his message, but gave in anyway. dejun deserved to be praised, worshipped even, for his efforts.

you were more than alright, baby. you stole the show, i couldn't even see anyone else in that video.

dejun smiled at your message and waited for you to finish typing.

you're incredible, truly. i love seeing you front and center. i love the way you look when you dance, you have so much power and charm. and your voice is so smooth and sexy. it's perfect. you're perfect.

you couldn't help but gush. it was all the truth and you wanted him to know.

on the other end of the phone dejun was hiding his very red face in his hand, your words affecting him so strongly that he was sure the other members could see his thoughts floating through the air.

a sudden wave of heat came over him, the crowded van now too hot for him and the heavy thoughts that invaded his mind. he needed to be alone, but he had to wait a little longer.

he wanted you. he wanted to see you and hear you say all of those things to him. the thought was quickly overtaking him and his sense, and he knew he needed to get out of the car soon or else he might embarrass himself- and the other members.

he mentally cursed the traffic in the city and pulled up his phone to text you back.

are you home? can i come over? please

your heartbeat picked up at that.

you don't have any schedules for the day?

no, i'm free for tonight. we just left practice and we're on the way home. i'm sure manager-nim could give me a ride if that's okay?

you hesitated for a moment, though you weren't really pondering it. the answer was always yes. another message came through before you could reply.

need you, noona

it felt like your mouth was going dry, you needed him just as much. it felt like it had been so long since you had him all to yourself. you typed three letters and tossed your phone onto the cushions of the couch, rushing to your room to change.

yes.

dejun had to hold back the moan that threatened to fall past his lips. he was already planning on going to your place, knowing his free time was rare, but now that he was on his way he was getting restless.

he checked his gps to find they were less than ten minutes away from your apartment. with a sigh he put his phone in his pocket, focusing on looking as normal as possible for the rest of the ride.

it was only a few minutes after you'd finished getting ready that the sound of knocking filled your apartment.

you jumped and hurried to the door, hastily opening it and pulling dejun inside and checking that there was no one in the hall.

closing and locking the door, you turned and pulled him into a tight hug, not realizing how badly you missed your sweet boy.

dejun squeezed you back, melting into your touch and humming into your hair. it felt like coming home. he felt safe.

you were the first to pull away, stepping back to take his face in your hands and look at him. you removed the mask and threw it somewhere on the table nearest you, sighing at his beautiful features. often you wonder how he could even be real.

"hi," he whispered cutely, as if it were a secret.

you giggled, "hi baby. i've missed you."

he let his eyes close and leaned into your touch. he could be like this forever.

your eyes moved over his face to his blond hair, thinking back to the music video.

"so, that's what you were hiding from me, huh? you wanted to keep it a surprise?"

he lowered his head in your hand and nodded, as if he had done something wrong.

"wanted you to surprise you. i've been working really hard and i'm pretty satisfied with my parts. wanted you to see it when it was perfect."

your heart swelled at his confession. one of the things you loved most about your boyfriend was his passion. he always put his best into everything he did, and it always produced wonderful results.

you moved your hand to the back of his neck, playing with the hair there.

"you should be satisfied. you're amazing. i'm sure you're going to be everyone's new favorite once they see you."

you intended for it to make him feel good, stroke his ego a bit, he was always so humble.

dejun shook his head and held your waist in his hands, his slender fingers gripping at the fabric of your shirt.

"thank you," he buried his face into your hair, "just wanna be your favorite."

you pulled back with your hands on his shoulders, rubbing them and moving to his chest while his eyes followed your movement.

"you are my favorite boy, always have been, always will be."

you could feel his breathing quicken under your hands and decided to take it further.

"my favorite boy who dances so well, sometimes i can't believe ten is the lead dancer of the group."

he lifts his head at that, thick eyebrows arched, his warm eyes searching yours for any sign of bluffing.

you double down. "my favorite voice. the prettiest singing voice i've ever heard. and even speaking. i could listen to it for the rest of my life."

he lets out a whimper and grips your shirt tighter. that's when you're reminded that you're still standing at your door, and he's still in his coat and shoes.

you pause to slip his jacket off of his shoulders, hinting at him to come inside and get comfy.

dejun kicks off his shoes and follows as you guide him to your bedroom by the hand, heart thumping in his chest, his mind replaying your words on a loop.

once in your room, you gently push him back against the door, smoothing your hands over his chest, taking note of how much harder it's gotten in the last few months. the corner of your mouth twitches at that.

you continue your attack. "and you've been looking so delicious lately. your arms are so big and toned and your chest has gotten so broad. i could eat you whole."

you're careful not to overdo it so he doesn't overthink your compliments. you know he's a bit self-conscious about his body and you don't want to make him feel like you're teasing.

your words hit the right spot and he shivers, a low moan escaping him.

he tilts his head back against the door and you take the opportunity to press your lips to his neck, sucking lightly and leaving kisses up to his jaw.

"you've been working so hard, haven't you?" your fingers crawl under the hem of his light blue sweatshirt and up his sides causing goosebumps to rise beneath your fingertips.

"noona..." he croaks out.

you hum and continue nipping at his neck knowing how sensitive he is there while your hands make their way to his bare chest. you want to see him, but you want to work him up some more.

"my little boy has gotten so big, don't you think?" you drag out the word and feel his whole body flinch at the name. he loves when you call him that. it makes him feel safe and protected and, well, little.

dejun feels like his legs are going to give out at any moment. between the praise and your touches, he's surprised he's still comprehending any language at all.

you want to make him feel loved, to tell him what you see and show him how much you appreciate every bit of him, so you push on.

"you were so sexy. who said you could dance like that?" you finished your sentence with a pinch to his nipple, earning a cry from him.

"i just might get jealous," you teased, no seriousness behind the statement.

your fingers kept rubbing over his hardened nipples and it was making it hard to think. dejun never really said it, but he wanted you to be a bit possessive. he wanted you to want him, to claim him.

he shook his head, seemingly all he was capable of doing in this position, as he fished for words to respond.

"'m yours. your boy. no one else's." he was panting.

you fingers never let up on his nipples, circling and flicking them, only leaving them momentarily to drag your nails down his chest.

dejun's knees were getting weaker, buckling once and making you wrap your arms around him to keep him up.

you decided to stop your teasing and give him what he deserves.

"come on, baby boy, let's get you on the bed."

he just whined and allowed you to walk him to it, sitting him on the end as you moved to straddle him.

dragging your hands down his sides, you paused at the bottom of his hoodie, looking at him to ask for permission.

he nodded and lifted his arms for you to pull it the whole way off.

looking at him like this was like a break in the clouds, the light of the heavens shining on you and filling you with warmth. you could never get over how beautiful he was. every part of him held a different wonder to marvel.

"that's right. you are my boy. my special boy."

you leaned forward to press your lips against his tenderly, the first time since he'd arrived.

dejun tilted his head and let you lead, his tongue joining yours when it poked past his lips.

he tried to focus as your hands roamed around his torso, eventually migrating down to the waistband of his jeans.

"can i see more of you, my love?"

dejun was sure this is what heaven would be like. the way you were so gentle with him, taking care of him and making him feel so special. always making sure he was on board with you before initiating anything. the way you could make even the most simple names seem like a gift. he had to try not to get swept away in his feelings. he gave you a sure nod.

with that you looped an arm under him and shifted him higher onto the bed with you.

"up." you hooked your fingers under his waistband and he obediently lifted his hips to let you tug his pants down to his knees.

seeing him exposed to you like this, skin so soft and light with a pink tint, made heat swirl in your stomach.

"my baby boy is so pretty."

you crawled over him and leaned down to kiss his chest right over his heart. a soft sigh came from above you.

leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses on the way, you move from his pink nipple down his stomach over his belly button.

"do you know how much i love your tummy?"

dejun wasn't sure if he should answer so he lifted his head to meet your eyes.

"it's one of my favorite parts of you. i love how smooth and soft it is. i love how sensitive you are and how much you react when i scratch at you here." you punctuated your sentence with a light scratch to his hip bone, making him squirm under you as if on cue.

"i love your small waist and your hips, you have such a nice figure," you traced your hands down as you spoke.

he whined from the back of his throat. he would never get used to your compliments.

"t-thank you, noona."

you hummed in response, finding it cute how willingly he used the title for you.

"my other favorite part of you," you whispered as your fingers inched toward his already hard length, "is this one." your fingers brushed up his shaft and his whole body jerked.

you wrapped your fingers around him softly, stroking his tip and spreading his wetness with your thumb. your boyfriend threw his head back into the mattress, groaning in a deep tone.

you couldn't wait any longer, you wanted to taste him.

straddling his legs, you positioned yourself over him and leaned down to wrap your lips around the head of his dick.

"ah-" his cry was cut off when you lowered your mouth onto him, taking him almost the whole way. he could feel his brain sloshing around in his skull and he knew he wasn't going to last long.

your tongue moved in circles over his tip before you removed yourself with a soft pop.

"my baby boy is so big, all for me, hm?" you wanted to keep him with you so he didn't cum so soon, but the blissed out look in his eyes told you it was futile.

he nodded frantically. "all for you. just you. shit. please."

"so big and wide for me, fills me up so well."

dejun was bucking into your hand, his own clutching the sheets and one coming down to search for yours. when he finds it he threads his fingers with yours and squeezes.

you squeeze back, trying to control the fluttering in your chest, and stroke him faster with your other hand.

his moans are getting more frequent and higher in pitch, and you have to remind him to keep still. he's close.

"what do you want, baby? do you want to finish with my hand or my mouth?" your hand still stroking the edges of his head.

he groans and squeezes his eyes shut, the stimulation leaving no room for coherent thought. it takes a few seconds before he's able to say he wants your mouth.

"please," he adds.

you smile at him and dip your head back down into position. "that's my good boy."

you're bobbing your head up and down, focusing on his tip with your tongue, trying to give him as much pleasure as possible.

dejun's grip on your hand tightens and he's mewling and moaning out pleas for you to keep going.

you pull off of him for only a second, "i love the sounds you make, baby. let me hear you." and you go straight back into it, moving your mouth on him faster.

he can feel the pressure building up in his tummy, he's about to cum.

"noona, please. it's so good, i'm gonna... i need to-"

"mm, you can. cum for me, angel. paint it over my tongue." you drop back onto him all the way, letting him hit the back of your throat and hollowing your cheeks.

his arms are twitching and his back arches as he gasps. "noona! i'm-"

that's all he gets out before you feel him shooting into your mouth, his hot cum sliding down your throat and overflowing into your cheeks. you milk him of all he has and stop right before he gets over sensitive.

you lift yourself off of him, keeping some of his cum on your tongue to show him, then swallowing as he watches with hooded eyes.

he never lets go of your hand and pulls you up to be eye level with him, your chest against his.  

dejun tilts his head and kisses you eagerly, tasting himself on your tongue and sighing into your mouth.

you peck his lips and sit up on your elbow, taking in the sight of him. watching as his shoulders rise and fall with his breathing, sweat glistening on his neck and forehead. a pink glow in his cheeks. he looks angelic.

"you're so beautiful, dejun."

his eyes open a little wider at the use of his full name, and his heart falls a little further when he sees the look in your eyes.

he doesn't try to thank you, instead he wraps his arms around you and brings you closer to him. "i love you."

"i love you too, my beautiful boy. always."

#wayv smut #wayv fanfic #xiaojun smut #nct #nct smut #nct fanfic #xiaojun x reader #sub!idol #sub!xiaojun #dj #i #he deserves a good succ for that performance #also hes just the prettiest #even with that highlighter yellow hair and bleached brows #dom!reader