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#would he mind never talk to me ever again?
lxnarphase · 1 day
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GOOD MORNING, BABY ๋࣭ ⭑
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☾₊‧⁺...ft. : g. satoru + g. suguru + n. kento + f. toji + k. choso + t. fumihiko
☾₊‧⁺...cw : somnophilia (pre-agreed on), thigh fucking, penetrative sex, pre-established relationship, dirty talk, praise and degradation, mommy kink, breeding kink, satoru and toji are just filthy, choso is so cute and needy, kento is the sweetest husband, it's just really fucking dirty im not sorry
☾₊‧⁺...synopsis : which jjk characters would fuck your thighs while you're sleeping bc they're horny but don't wanna wake you up !!
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who does it to tease you ↴
✧ g. satoru ; satoru tries to wake you up, but you just don't want to. and by try, he means he blew into your ear just for you to huff and smack him away, grumbling to let you sleep or you'd bite him. ohh, you are so cute, he just really can't help himself
“look at my pretty girl, such a mess…tsk, wish she'd wake up, now i gotta fuck her soft, pretty thighs instead of that pretty lil' pussy." “aww, your pussy 's so noisy! listen t' her...she's all wet, she's cryin' f'me to fuck her, isn't she? aww, poor thing...” “ooh, are you cumming, baby? cumming in your sleep like a slutty little girl while I fuck your thighs, so precious…”
✧ g. suguru ; suguru's hands move up and down your soft curves while he grinds against your thighs, quiet, sticky noises sounding in the room. you're so adorable, he wants to shake you awake but teasing you with his thick cock nudging against your clit is so much more fun
“you’ve always been so responsive, i didn’t think my dick between your thighs would get you like this, princess.” “oh? was that my name? don’t tell me you’re having a wet dream about me. so dirty, baby, thinking of me like that while sleeping when I’m right here with you.” “don’t you wanna wake up and move my cock somewhere other than your thighs? c'mon, princess, wake up for me.”
who does it because they are desperate ↴
✧ k. choso ; not outright fucking you is painful, but he doesn’t want to wake you up. He’s so fucking hard, that dream affected him more than he thought, and before he knew it, he was fucking your thighs, not caring how loud he was being.
“baby, baby, fuck, hoohmygodd, please! need y'so bad, so fuckin' soft, so soft, fuck, could d' this to you all the time, never wanna stop, p-please, god, 'm gonna cum all over you-!” “sticky fuckin' p-pussy's beggin' me t' fuck it, b-but wanna see you look at me. c'mon, c-c'monnn, please wake up, let me stick it in, o-or 'm gonna waste it a-and cum all over your cunt.” “oh, mmh, ’m cumming, ’m cumming, baby, i-i’ll clean y' up after, g'nna fuck you again 'n' again 'n' againnn, fuck, ’m cumming-!”
✧ t. fumihiko ; poor thing, fumihiko honestly tries to deal with it by himself, trying to just jerk off in the bathroom, but it doesn't work. he knew what he needed, he needed you, needed to touch and feel you around him. with shaky hands holding your thighs, he slides his aching cock between your thighs, moaning so cutely…and when you wake up and start cooing to him, he absolutely loses himself.
“i’m-i’m gonna mess you up so bad, been wantin’ to leave you a mess for so long, so fucking long, 'm g-gonna cum all over your pretty thighs. 's okay, right? right? mmh, okay, 'm gonna do it, 'm gonna cum on 'em.” “y-yeah, yeah, fuck, your thighs are so soft, feel so good around my cock, gonna cum all over them, m-ma'am.” “'s so much cum, i can’t stop cumming, m-mommy, ’m losing my mind, love your thighs, they're so soft, s' soft, thank you, thank you, thank you-!”
who wakes you up ↴
✧ f. toji ; it’s not uncommon for toji to wake up in the middle of the night, cock hard in his sweats. can you blame the guy when he's sleeping next to the sexiest woman he's ever laid his eyes on. he thanks whatever god there is for giving him a wife like you who lets him fuck your soft thighs until you wake up up so he can stuff you full of cum instead of wasting it on your stomach.
“’s time to wake up, mama, don’ ya wan' me t' fuck your needy cunt 'stead of these pretty thighs?” “aw, y'look soooo cute and dumb right now…my pretty thing. c'mon, spread those legs for me, mama, toji's gonna take care of ya.” “did y' dream 'bout me fucking your thighs? yeah? mm, you’re takin' my cock like you wanted me t' fuck you awake…hm? you want that next time? mm, i’ll keep it in mind, baby girl, now shut up and let me fuck you dumb.”
✧ n. kento ; he usually only does this when he’s very very frustrated from working, coming home to see his pretty baby in one of his button-ups sleeping, thighs out in the open. he can’t help himself, softly calling your name as he slides his hard cock slowly in and out between your thighs, giving you soft smile when you wake up.
“sorry to wake you, darling, I know it’s late, but I need you. you just...look so beautiful, i couldn't help himself.” “you were responding so cutely in your sleep…would you rather I be inside you? ask nicely, honey, and I’ll give you what you want. you know a good husband does whatever his wife asks.” “so, so pretty like this, i could fuck you for days. should i do that, my sweet girl? mm, maybe i should take tomorrow off and keep you in bed all take, make sure that my seed takes. what do you think, sweetheart, you want me to give you a baby?”
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all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work
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reneezsq · 2 days
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forelsket
forelsket (noun.): the euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love.
❛ !¡ pairing; aventurine; sunday x gender neutral!reader.
❛ !¡ summary; a heartbeat too irregular, breathing quick and shaky hands sweating under expensive gloves. who could have thought getting attached is as sweet as your favorite dessert ?
❛ !¡ warnings; it is specified for both that reader likes anything with sugar.
❛ !¡ a/n; kinda self indulgent for me and one of my besties cuz she loves aventurine too much and i have a big fat crush on sunday (gotta cuddle the angel and the gambler)
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♡–,✎ smitten:;
AVENTURINE
. never has he fancied himself over falling head over heels with anyone for the matter. any sort of relationship he could have formed, or bond to a certain extension, with anybody was surely for his own selfish desires. as a way to get over his life the control he lacked for so many years, a hope to regain mastery over himself and feel that for once in his life, all over again, his choices belong to no other than him.
. and at first he loathed the thought of falling in love. he knew all about the wonders it does on one’s mind: taking away their ability to form a coherent speech, the loss of the mastery of your own body and a certain yearning for the person of your affection. it scared him to some degree that if he ever fell in love he would yet lose all over again the freedom he fought to regain.
. at first, your meeting was only supposed to remain as a simple meeting. you were a new recruit to the ipc and he had been appointed with showing you around the main building. he had never planned to stick around too close or to engage in a full conversation. but his plans were thrown out of the window as he gazed at your pretty face. eyes sparkling at the view of someone’s cake in the fridge with some drool seemingly forming at the corner of your mouth. you looked so… how can he even explain such a feeling to himself or anybody else ?
. at that moment, he felt like simply coming up to you and wrapping his arms around you. only to keep you within his grasp and make sure you will never run away or be harmed. no matter if you are taller than him. but he had to shake away the thoughts to start the visit. and also maybe to know you better, after all only falling for one’s looks isn’t as wise as it can be, knowing how many beautiful people are the most dispensable people out the whole universe.
. just like he had dreaded, you were oh too kind for his heart to take it lightly. curiously peering at every corner and listening to him as he talked about the necessities of the work without too much details. he had to look away more than once and pray the pink dye on his glasses would conceal the ever growing blush on his cheeks. seriously, how unfair can you be ?! making him all flushy inside that he almost wants to melt when you waved him goodbye to go to your section to get to work.
. but, for some reasons, he did not find this uncomfortable in the slightest bit. his body was still his at the end of the day, and only the brushing of your fingers against his gloved ones remained in his mind. for once, he wished to take off his glove to feel some contact for the first time since so long. if it’s yours, he doesn’t feel like he will mind it too much.
SUNDAY
. he never really spared any real thought towards loving and being loved. he had more important matters like the health of his sister and her happiness, his role as the spokesman of the family and all the worries that came with taking care of penacony. so, truthfully, the idea never really came to his mind, and if it did he would discard it away without any real second chances for it to last.
. but during certain nights, he indulges in those kind of feelings that swirl deep within him as he wonders how he will feel if he falls in love with an individual. will his biggest strength to deliver eloquent speeches to move away a whole crowd for his own benefits turn into sand if he gazes too long in the eyes of the one that would steal his heart ? would his face heat up in the haste of their shared love and would he find himself holding their hands with a grip a bit too tight ? who knows. maybe he does want to fall in love in the end…
. the first moment your gazes crossed paths was during a concert of his sister. he enjoys watching those above all else. drowning in her beautiful melodies and allowing himself to breathe in the imagery of a field of flowers where he can feel the heartbeat of the world as he lies down the grass. ah, what a beautiful view of the sky painted in the hues of the ocean. how much he enjoys indulging himself in such lovely views created by the dreams of his mind.
. this is when he first saw you. all panicked in the crowd and breathing heavily because everyone was being too rough and too noisy next to you. he felt a pang of empathy towards this strangely beautiful stranger that got the unluck of being stuck next to so many disrespectful people. and his steps made him walk closer to you. a hand over their shoulder to catch your attention before he led you away from the concert.
. when you two went to relax in a small cafe away from everyone else, he turned on his phone to watch the live performance of his sister’s concert (which he has free access to). maybe you cannot be there, but at least you will still be able to hear her singing and see the thing as a full. afterwards, one drink in silence turned into two, then three as the conversation continued onwards. and he found himself unable to stop it, wanting to know more and more about you. and for once he did not want to know that in case it was needed, he was curious.
. when he bid you farewell and returned home, his sister couldn’t stop herself from telling him he seemed in such a brighter mood than he was at the start of the day. the honest smile in his lips and gaze dwelling back into what had happened that day. he simply told her he got a new acquaintance as he stared at the screen on his phone, with your number on it. well, that was a very precious day now, wouldn’t you say so ?
♡–,✎ wooing:;
AVENTURINE
. he’s insufferable. honestly. when he got over his little crush, all that stayed was a weird mix between the mask he puts over himself for the attire of confidence he had put over his own heart and the clear indication that you might be a bit more in his eyes. however, you will never know if it is genuine or not for a while. a gambler never reveals his cards.
. instead, the sole lead that remained to help you in your decision making was the small gestures he did all the time, his constant bothering you with calls, messages and funny little notes found in your office as well as the never ending questions by his side. one could be a coincidence, two was weird, after three you knew there was no getting away from that sickeningly stunning man you both adored and loathed sometimes (how can he be so adorably annoying ?)
. your missions end quickly, for one reason: you do nothing instead sitting next to him as he bets his life for the fifth time tonight. you know he will win but you cannot help the faceplan on your face as he proudly places down his cards for a final round and challenges opponents thinking they are a bit too lucky. you are no fool in front of his hand behind his back or the unmistakable shaking of it as it rests against his thigh under the table in a closed shaky fist. you never really dared to hold it, as to not break any bound that might last between you too. but as he looks at you to see the fondness with which you gaze at him, he feels like he already hit the jackpot.
. those nights always end up with your fist lightly hitting the top of his head after stealing his hat as a reminder that he is not eternal and he scared you to death. then he runs after you while making sure to remain slower, only to see the sun smiling back at him in all its glory. if you are lucky enough, he will let you wear it. fret not ! if he says no, attack him by the heartstrings with the cute big round eyes and a sad pout gracing your lips. he never won. his maximum is 26 seconds, dr. ratio counted for you one day. how kind.
. the type to use cringe pick up lines, but he is forgiven by his undying attractive looks. would call you the weirdest things during those times to make a bad joke meant to make your heart swoon. forgive him for being so bad, it’s his first time falling in love and not everyone is born with enough charisma to be both lucky in games and lucky in love. a loser, but one you comfort during his most unlucky defeats against your heart with a little peck in the cheeks. suddenly his mood is brighter and he is bringing you along to a shop or a restaurant.
. his money becomes yours the moment his heart was a bit faster and harder against his ribs. you could gaze at a cake from the other side of a window for 0.4 seconds and he had magically appeared inside. not like you complain but your stomach is starting to be a bit more demanding and whiny when you are close to him. he caught onto that and lightly poke you every time before heading towards another dinner you two will share. you will get your cake, but let’s get a healthy meal first to ensure you will stay all pretty and happy. he wouldn’t want you feeling bad over your body because he couldn’t resist your stare. he is no simp, promise (is that his fingers crossed behind his back ??)
. sometimes he comes to your house too. you two act like a couple more than you would both enjoy to admit. him lazily sipping on some coffee and answering calls here and there from the ipc while you are cooking or doing anything really. he could send you a weird meme of two cats biting each other with a “us <3” while you two are sharing a blanket and watching a film at the same time, in the same house, in the same room, in the same couch and almost cuddling. what a funny little man.
. his confession would be sweet. for once, no casino was involved during the whole night. you might think he was perhaps a bit sick but no, he was not ! feeling perfectly a–okay, although his perfume is a bit more prominent and for some reasons he is buying you more things than usual.
. please, let him talk first. he will not be able to say anything if you even dare to utter a word as you two arrive under the starry sky in an abandoned park. with some lamp, he will use morse code:
.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-
. your answer was: ..--- ; and he felt like falling in love all over again as you both started laughing over your own dumb love towards one another. ignore the tears, he is just happy. and perhaps this small shooting star was his sister’s best wishes.
SUNDAY
. the first thing he ever does when he goes to meet you is buying you flowers. now you have a ton of bouquets around your house and had to convince him to maybe settle for something that you two could consume or else you would have enough plants for the funerals of all your family members, that is if the bouquets were not holding a deep message. yes, he loves the implicit. the ones he loves gifting you the most are orchids¹, red roses² for the classics as well as carnations³ and sunflowers⁴.
. the embodiment of a gentleman and i am not joking. for him, courting you is not something to be taken lightly. he is playing his future love life on the line and will not allow any mistake to be made on his end. he wants to win over your heart and be a big selfish as to remain the sole object of your affection, and he will accomplish such a goal but being as gentle as he can be with you — without, of course, being too overbearing or controlling with you. he wants something genuine, not you accepting his love because you felt forced to do such a thing based on his status as a leader or place in the family. hence why he will refuse for a certain while to talk about his profession, he will end up telling you, pinky promise, but not now yet.
. going back to the previous subject of him being a gentleman. he will hold the doors open for you, all the time and it can maybe turn into a competition if you try to beat him. his arms quickly around your waist to stop you as you two giggle like two teenagers a bit too smitten. walking down some stairs ? here, his hand. he wouldn’t want your ankle to be twisted. and the feeling of your hand in his is quite enjoyable too. i am also talking about pulling your chair for you (if you sit first he will do this tiktok trend of being unable to move the chair to have you check it so he can pull it for you), letting his shoulder be soaked when it rains and you have only one umbrella as well as kissing your knuckles when you two meet.
. he always has his hands on you, i swear. it is so very obvious he has fallen head over heels with you and even he cannot deny it any longer. but when his hand is always resting at your lower back — your consent is included, if you do not like it he will let you take hold of his arm instead — as you walk through a particularly crowded place in the streets or in a building. always the perfect guide to accompany you to your destination. travel in security, travel with sunday !
. do not think his sister is not involved in his plans to win over your heart, because if you think so you are solely mistaken. she already knows of his adoration for you and even gives him small pieces of advice. after all, she has a lot of fans trying to woo her, so she knows different tactics and will share those that make her a bit weak in the knees to help her brother with his soon–to–be–lover. she went as far as to do a concert with only the two of you, singing a love song while you were humming alongside her tune. he still cherishes this moment when he hasn’t seen you for a certain while.
. he never enters your home without the green flag to do so. the most he did the first few days you went out together was accompany you to the porch and flash a small wink your way, the two of you letting out small laughs at how corny and movie–like the whole ordeal has been. seriously, it feels like a mix of your favorite book tropes with all the cringy stuff that you can view in your favorite romance movies. but you two are a sucker for traditional romance, how can you be blamed ?
. now, for his confession, oh lord. he became the best husband in one night and you were feeling all hot in the face all day. because, yes, he booked a whole day of different activities the two of you could do together. from sharing a simple meal to making some poems. he wrote the best ballads and sonnets you have ever read in the entirety of your life — seriously, how can a man be so talented in such different fields ?
. at the end of the day, you two walked in a park where you both ended up sitting down on the same bench. there was barely no one around as it was late enough already, and when the lamps finally lit up, you saw the whole city come back to life for the night. it was a whole show in itself, to see the advertisements light up, the street lamp illuminating the roads and the atmosphere changing around the two of you.
. after a small quick breath, he placed a present upon your lap and let you open it. it consisted of a music box, playing one of the unreleased songs of his sister you had the pleasure to listen to with him. but there was a particularity: this was a love song. when you gazed back at one another, you both knew.
♡–,✎ engagement:;
AVENTURINE
. the bad pick up lines got worse. now he uses them when falling off the stairs, upon stumbling with his own two feet over some air and when he has a good hair day (clue: he always has good hair). so no, there is no escaping his constant praises and compliments and cringy flirting. but you’ll forgive him, won’t you ?
. he is so affectionate it feels like he became some glue next to you. there is no joke in that. when you two are at home to simply relax he will have his arms around you while doing anything at all. but don’t let your guard down, he might take off his clothes to move your shirt aside and rest his freezing hand upon your skin directly. just to hear your little squeals as you look up at him. his other hand will hold your cheek to feel the warmth burning at his fingertips before kissing it better as his own small apology. during moments like these, make it difficult to regain his love. more kisses for the two of you and more cuddling too.
. even in the casino he goes, he is affectionate too openly. he has really no shame screaming at the top of his lungs how much he loves you and the fact you are all he ever dreamt of having. your head is resting on his shoulder with one arm around your waist. he found that tracing forms on your skin is better than gripping a chip in secret, and now it comes naturally. if you ever fall asleep on him while he plays, he will not hesitate to take off his hate and put it on your to hide the lights from your eyes and allow you a better sleep. even when the game ended, he will stay at the table a few more moments to then give you the correct time to wake up from your little nap. i hope you don’t mind being awakened by kisses all over your face.
. his hat is the only thing he shares, sorry not sorry. his clothes are his and he wants to keep them as such. if you want to wear them he will happily buy you something similar, but the idea of sharing clothes is not something he cherishes that much. however, matching clothes ? this he doesn’t mind ! matching pajamas sets ? check. matching glasses ? check. matching accessories ? check. wearing matching pairs only add to the whole showing off you are his, doesn’t it ?
. he is not that possessive per say, maybe simply a bit paranoid that things might happen to you in hopes of getting to him. but he is truly aware you are capable and will not sugarcoat you (if you do not have any injury, get one as small as a paper cut and he is throwing dramatic gasps to make you laugh), but he will not hesitate to show that he is yours as much as you are his and no one can take you away from him. however, he can have his own insecurities. not look wise, come on that smirk on his face shows that he knows how pretty he is. no, it is more towards his gambling addiction and financial tendencies to spend everything without a care because of his insane luck. he knows that it might be a red flag, or you might be dragged away from him if he continues too much. you can kiss him better or show him an alternative (don’t do gacha games, please, he will know no limits at all you will worsen the problem dearest).
. all in all, you won your own little jackpot by being with him. sure, he has his own secrets and things he will probably never share with you. but at the end of the day you are both satisfied only holding each other’s hands as you dance under the stars like idiots or jump on the water that stayed in the streets after it rained. maybe you are a bit childish, or maybe you simply indulge together in what you always lacked: an innocent and pure love.
SUNDAY
. his money became yours, quite literally. need to buy a book ? here take his credit card. you want to start having weekly shopping sprees with robin ? he will make a new card just for the two of you that you can use. do not shy away from using his money, he wants you happy and he knows that sometimes only acquiring certain items you cherish will fill your heart to the brim. however, he is waiting for a small peck on the cheek and if you bought close you better make a small show for him. the two of you will end up dancing in the living room and it will end with a small kiss.
. the type to be a sucker for any type of kisses. would randomly come up to you, grab your face and kiss your forehead, your cheeks so no jealousy and then your lips. at first you were taken aback but now you are used to it and no real surprises anymore to be honest. you just melt and sometimes kiss him back when he pulls away. aha ! now he is the one with warm cheeks :P.
. he shares his food a bit too much, his plate becomes yours. not the type to give you his plate though. no, instead he will take your fork or spoon, serve enough in it and bring it to your lips. you can never deny him because of the fluttering of his wings that shows just how happy he is to do such a thing. and let’s not talk about desserts. he would buy five of them, eat one spoonful and then give you the rest. i am not hungry anymore, he says, what a very sweet liar he is. that is not his fault, do not blame him please, he just wishes to see a small smile on your face because you love them so much.
. talking about his wings, you can know his mood with how they react. a pretty useful indicator to be honest. if they are a bit down, he is sad or just tired. a few cuddles might fix the issue and if it doesn’t just massage his feathers, but be careful those little wings are still very much sensitive. if they are fluttering, then he is quite happy. weirdly enough they always flutter when you are with him. sometimes he uses them to hide his face if he is a bit flustered. he looks quite adorable when he wants to.
. also not the type to share his clothes, the only exception being his jacket if you are cold and brought nothing for yourself. unlike aventurine he is not for matching sets of clothing, he would prefer if you two kept your own style. but he is for matching jewelries and such. his favorite match is earrings. he will wear the right one most of the time as you wear the left one. his second favorite has to be necklaces. you have a pair of necklaces that go together like two puzzle pieces, and every time you cuddle you let them click together and they remain as such until you have to go to work or sleep or pee.
. being with him is like walking through a street in the middle of the light. his embrace and touches being the few people complimenting you along the way and his comfort being the warm light cast upon you. and when you fall asleep, it’s like having found your own little haven all over again. perhaps, with you, he will learn to be a bit more honest with himself over time.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
orchids¹ – they symbolize beauty, charm and love.
red roses² – they symbolize love and passion.
carnations³ – they symbolize fascination and love.
sunflowers⁴ – they symbolize admiration and loyalty.
(if any of those informations are wrong, tell me and i will fix it asap !)
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TAGGING:: @amxto; @dxmoness; @sweetlyvibe; @quatrdeal
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Yandere Head Canons:
Your Only Option
Yandere Otome Game Character x GN Reader
TW: psychological horror, trapped forever in a time loop, yandere behavior, mind break, and manipulation
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It was always spring when your world would reset once more. When the flowers were in full bloom and the scent of spring was heavy enough to make your head spin. You were in this digital world you had somehow ended trapped in, forever forced to repeat the story premise until you inevitably had to start over once more… yet you always ended up with only one of the capture targets. The villainous crown prince, Edwin Fritz.
Edwin was your favorite character in this game prior to you ending trapped in it. He was the hardest character to romance but the creator had stated in a forum that he was a yandere. The kind of character you were a sucker for each time! With his silver hair and crimson red eyes, you always melted into a puddle when he’d appear on your screen… yet it was much different in real life… Edwin was terrifying.
You spent over a hundred hours playing the game to romance him because you adored his twisted love routes, but it was so different now that you were in the game… especially since he’d always greet you at each starting point.
Both of you retained your memories of the countless previous games and he’d always greet you with an extravagant gift of some sort… must be the perk of being the villainous crown prince.
You gulped when Edwin made his way over to you, his crimson gaze didn’t leave your shivering form once. His large form easily towered over you as he held a giant bouquet of ruby roses in his arms. A ghost of a smile on his gorgeous face.
“Hello, darling.” Edwin handed you the roses before his hand brushed a loose strand of hair from your face. “You tried to talk to Count Jesse in the last game play through… do you enjoy making me jealous?“
You trembled like a leaf but gave Edwin a bright, reassuring smile. You needed to reassure him before he went ballistic in a fit of rage… and you didn’t want to see other characters die again. “Of course not, Edwin. I only love you after all.”
Edwin pulled you into a hug, the roses in your arms shedded a few petals from the embrace. You gulped when you felt his breath shudder. “You do, don’t you? That’s why you’re the only one who didn’t give up one me…”
Edwin sighed dreamily when you relaxed in his hold. “I don’t know why you keep associating with such lowly characters when you have me. I can offer you such a wonderful life of luxury. You’ll never die or age. We can truly be together just like you’ve always wanted before I brought you here! You said you hated your life prior to me.”
Edwin pressed his lips against yours in a hungry kiss. He didn’t care about the gazes from the other nobles at this small party. You were his in this life and his again in the next loop. Forever and ever and ever and ever. No one would be able to take you from him. He would keep repeating this loop until you swore you’d be his spouse!
“So what do you say? Will you be my spouse for all of eternity or do you want to keep playing this game?” Edwin gave you a smile that made a chill run down your spine. “I don’t mind repeating time another four hundred times until you finally relent.”
Edwin moved to cup your cheeks between his hands so his eyes could look into yours. You felt as if you could drown in the sea of obsession that lies behind those ruby red eyes. “I’m your only option, after all.”
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i-cant-sing · 2 days
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Time Traveller AU pt 4
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. AU masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more.
Two weeks had passed since you and Baldwin had met Salauddin. As much as you tried to stay in your room to try and work on your time machine a bit, Sibylla was far too excited with the wedding preparations and was dragging you along. Even the maids were too eager to do everything, be it dressing you up or accompanying you around the castle. You suppose it was their way of trying to get in your good graces so that you'll choose them to be your court ladies. Its all politics really. The few moments that you did try to have for yourself, they'd be with Baldwin. You cant ever have meals without him, even if you were sneaky. You theorised that Baldwin probably had someone in the kitchen to inform him the moment you're having a meal made so that he can join you too (and proceed to handfeed you the first and last bite from his plate).
You decide its finally time to bring up the agenda you had in mind. "Baldwin?" You call softly, earning a surprised look from him because he's used to your admonishing tone. "Yes, princess?" he quickly closes his book, giving you his full attention.
"Do you think... it could be arranged for me to travel?" He raised a brow. "Travel? Where?"
You mustered up the courage. "Egypt."
"Egypt? Why?" Of course he was alarmed because at the time Egypt was under Muslim rule, and Salauddin was the sultan of Egypt. It was his territory and it was far too.
"Why not? I thought you said you would show me the world." You reminded him of his promise when he was trying to bribe you into marrying him.
He sighed and nodded. "That can be arranged. Come on, now." He took your hand and pulled you towards him as he moved towards the corner of his room, keeping you facing him. "I always keep my promises, princess." He whispered kissing your chin before turning you around to face the mirror.
"See? Now you've seen the world. In fact-" He spins you back to him before turning you towards the mirror again. "-ooh! Now you've seen the world twice!" He keeps on spinning you back and forth a couple of more times making you laugh before you get dizzy and lightly smack his arm.
"Be serious for once, Baldwin!" You glare at him. "Dont you get tired from your flirting attempts?"
His eyes twinkled as he cupped your face with his hands. "Never!"
With your face still in his hands, you repeated your request. "I want to go to Egypt, Baldwin." "But why? Do you want something from there? Because I can have it brought here-"
"No." You cant believe you have to manipulate him. Eh, he'll get over it. "I... I dont have a family, Baldwin. I was an orphan and well- things werent great at my orphanage, so I ran away. I wanted to find out about my family, about my parents. What happened to them. So I've been travelling here and there. I suppose thats how I developed an interest in history." You could seem his resolve melting with the way his eyes softened, so you continued on. "Please, let me go to Egypt. I think... I think I might find some clues about my family there. And if I dont..." you chuckled. "Well, I could always write something on Salauddin."
"Do you really want to go?" You nodded eagerly. He smiled. "Alright. I'll talk to Salauddin. If he gives permission, then you can go. I dont think I could accompany you there. Guy has been stirring up some problems here and I cant have him try to start a rebellion."
"Its okay, I can go alone." "Well, not alone. I'll send my best knights along." Shit. Oh well. Better them than Baldwin.
Breaking the pattern for once, you decided to initiate affection and gave him a hug. "Thank you, Baldwin!" You heard him inhale sharply, his body stilling for a moment before his arms slowly but surely wrapped around your frame, and you felt him melt into you a bit. This is psychology 101, okay? Pavlov's dog experiment, if you reward him for "good behaviour", he is more prone to be "good".
If only you knew this may have been the first time in more than a decade that he's been hugged. And now that he has... it only cements more in his mind that your hugs are his- you are his.
-
As expected, Salauddin agreed and allowed you to come to Egypt. However, Baldwin still delayed your trip by almost a week under the pretence to make "necessary arrangements for your trip".
It was just him trying to find excuses to make you stay longer, or even change your mind about leaving at all.
"You know it's going to be soooo hot in Egypt? What if you get a heat stroke?"
"I'm going with Salauddin. He's been living in the desert for so long, I'm sure he'll teach me how to protect myself from the sun."
"You- what if you get thirsty? You won't get cold water!"
You looked at him baffled. "Salauddin literally had a box of ice in the desert- he served us ice water. Did you forget? I'm beginning to think you might be suffering from a heat stroke."
He huffed. "Surely, you cant be safe in Egypt without me by your side. People will attack you for being my weakness!"
Your heart skipped a beat. I'm his weakness?
You shake your head. Not the time. "How would they even recognise me? I'd be in a niqaab! Besides, I thought you were sending your "best knights" with me." You said turning around to fold your clothes.
Baldwin's hand reached for your wrist and he pulled you back to him, your body stiffening against his hard chest. Damn, how long did he work out for? Just a few weeks ago, he couldnt even stand for long without passing out.
He rested his chin on your shoulder. "I'll miss you." He mumbled, and the corner of your mouth quirked up. "I know." You replied as you tried to break out of his arms and return to your packing. But Baldwin spun you around, his brows furrowed. "You wont miss me?" His eyes held deep concern, while his voice reminded you of a scared child.
He's adorable.
His grip on your arms tightened the longer you stayed silent. Fearing he'd change his mind about the trip, you cupped his face and brought it closer to yours, staring into his eyes.
"No." Hurt flashed through across those blue pools, but you continued. "Because the mere thought that you would be waiting here for me will make me want to return home early." His face softened.
"Home? You consider this your home?" He whispered, clearly affected by your words.
Oh, he's about to die when he hears what you've got next.
Your eyes smiled. "You're my home, Baldwin." You knew if this was an anime, then right now Baldwin would be animated with a pink background with halo behind him, and probably cupids shooting arrows and crying.
His reaction proved you right. Baldwin pulled you in for a tight hug, hiding his head into your shoulder and before you either of you could react, you both fell on your bed, though Baldwin didnt let go of you.
When he finally pulled away, he caressed your cheek with one hand. "What?" you asked with a lazy smile. He didnt say anything, just kept tracing your face with his fingers, looking at you as if he was in a trance. Considering you were leaving tomorrow, you didnt move from the bed. You didnt want to break whatever fantasy Baldwin was in (truthfully, you didnt have the heart for it. He looked like something was healing inside him.) So you stayed there next to him, letting Baldwin run his fingers though your hair and falling asleep to that.
"How did I get so lucky?" He whispered to himself, still looking at you in awe.
Baldwin didnt sleep that night. No, he wanted to memorise your face.
-
The next morning, you were sent off with a small entourage, even though Baldwin wanted to send you with a bigger one, but you reasoned with him that a large group of people would only draw more attention to you.
"Be safe, princess." Baldwin said, pressing his lips to your forehead. You smiled and nodded. "I'll be back before you know it." He gave you a lopsided smile before pulling out a pouch and placing it in your hands. It was heavy. "I have given the knight commander gold to cater to your every need, buy anything you like but- I still want you to have this. Just in case." You peeked into the pouch and your eyes bulged out at the gold coins in there. "Its too much, Baldwin. I cant take-" He cupped your cheek. "I insist. If- God forbid, things go wrong, I want you to use this to get out." You leaned into his touch. "Nothing will happen to me, Baldwin." He prays so (he and his church is praying for your safe journey). "I know, but please- keep it. For my peace of mind." You finally conceded, giving him a hug before starting your journey.
From Jerusalem, you first reached Salauddin's caravan in the desert, where the Kurdish leader was waiting for you.
"So, have you come up with a plan to leave Baldwin?" He asked, guiding you inside his tent, taking note of the niqaab you were wearing. It was the one Baldwin had helped embroirdered for you- he recognised the ugly flower on your sleeve.
"Its not a priority at the moment." You lied, deciding it wouldnt be good to reveal all your cards to him. After all, he is a conquerer. You dont know what kind of games he may be playing.
He raised a brow at you, setting up the chess board. "Then why are you going to Egypt?" He wanted to gauge your expressions, but your eyes were solely focused on the chess board as you made the first move.
"I have some matters to take care of. Personal matters." You watched him move his black pawn.
"Anything I could help with?" He asked. You took his bishop. "No, you have already helped a lot. Thank you. But I must ask- how did you just agree to Baldwin when he asked if I could go to Egypt?"
He scoffed, taking your knight. "You think I did this for free? Please, your husband had to pay a pretty penny to take his "little heaven's angel" through the desert safely. Honestly, how have you bewitched him?" Salauddin gazed at you. "Either he's too stupid or you're much smarter than you look, the latter is something I highly doubt, so it only leads to one conclusion- Baldwin is stupid." He mocked.
"Hey! Dont insult my fiance." You admonished, looking back at the board to make your next move. He leaned forward with his elbows on the table, looking at you expectantly. "Or else what?"
Your eyes finally made contact with his, and he could feel he had insulted you somehow. "Or else... you'll regret it." You threatened, which he didnt take seriously, because- why would he? You're nobody.
His eyes lit up. "If you were any less threatening, Y/n, you'd be a dandelion." You rolled your eyes, clearly not amused. "Say whatever you want, but you and I both know you didnt do it for the money."
"What do you mean?"
"Mmhm, I dont know. Dont you have enough money already? I think- oh, you made a mistake there." you smirked taking his queen and now his king was left wide open for attack. "I think... you were scared to say no."
"Excuse me?" He moved his king. You chased him with your knight.
"You heard me." Your rook pushed his king into the corner. Frustratedly, he tries to escape by moving his king diagonally, but you were quicker with your bishop.
"Why would I be afraid of a man whose own brother-in-law is starting a rebellion against him and he's been allowing him to do so just because his sister claims to love him?" He taunted at the messed up family dynamics. Of course he knew how ready Baldwin was to give his kingdom away to Guy to be perished, but that was before he was cured of his leprosy.
You had boxed his king from all sides. No escape. "Why wouldnt you be? The same man was only just a 16 year old when he defeated you on the battlefield devastatingly. And that too, when he was so sick, his face was melting off." You knocked down his king. "Can you imagine how strong he is now that he's cured?"
His anger was subtle. Eyes glaring at you, mouth pulled into a thin line, his nostrils flared ever so slightly.
Clearly, you had struck a nerve.
"You shouldn't play with fire." He warned. You twirled his king between your fingers. "Who said I was playing?"
You both sat in silence for a few more moments, with you mostly relishing in your victory. "So, what do I get for winning again?"
His eyes narrowed, though they werent as hostile as they were a few moments ago, "You get to keep your head."
"Am I always playing for my life everytime we play chess?" "Yes." "Huh. So how does it feel to know that I will outlive you?" You teased, making him roll his eyes as he stood up, leading you out of his tent.
"My men are going to accompany you to Egypt. They're ready, so-" he looked at you with a scowl. "Leave."
"Aww, thank you, aljedu!" You waved, leaving before he could get mad at you for calling him "grandpa".
-
The journey to Egypt took a little over 4 days, but you really cant complain with the small army of people at your service. Even the men and women Salauddin had sent with you made sure to cater your every need, and more importantly, help you and your entourage survive the desert.
The pyramids were still as magnificent as in the future, though the area was now surrouded by a bustling market of sorts. As your caravan moved further into the town, you saw a large centre built that had the traditional Islamic architecure elements- huge domes, minarets, white pillars. The colourful tile works (prominents turqoise and dark blue themes) and a few gothic arches displayed the catholic influence as well.
"What's that?" You had asked one of the knights. "Thats the madarasas." You nodded as you recalled reading about it in "the golden age of Islam" era. Madarasa was essentially an educational institution that were devoted to the study of law, maths, science, medicine, religion, philosphy and other subjects. The complex itself consisted of a mosque, a library, a boarding house. They were home to both students and professors, and were maintained by charitable endowments and unlike a modern day college, it lacked a specific curriculum or institutionalise system of certification. Information was usually passed on informally from teacher to student, and both men and women were able to attend.
It was heaven for anyone who seeked to learn, and this was exactly where you would be going to get help for your time machine.
But that would have to wait, as you were now lead to Salauddin's palace for rest. It was massive and just like the madarasa, it was also beautifully constructed. The palace spread over on a large area of land, and although it was was around 80-100 feet in height with those humongous pillars at each corner, the palace was largest in horizontal dimensions. Inside, after passing a throng of soldiers stationed who kept their gaze lowered even though she and most of the females were completely veiled, you saw a huge pool that continued throughout the palace, even through sharp corners. It almost looked like the castle was built around the turquoise pool. Despite it being hot as hell outside, the palace was cool and insulated even though there were no air conditioners or fans and was open enough to be well ventilated. You had seen the palm date trees through the city, but there was a huge new variety of exotic plants inside that you dont think would be able to survive in the desert.
Egyptians were truly ahead of their time.
-
After dinner, you were sitting in your room with your maids. They were talking about the hospitality of Muslims and all, helping you unpack and get ready for bed.
"Alright, time to sleep." You said with a yawn and they all immediately began leaving. All but one maid, who had to stay by your side at all times even when you were bathing. Apparently, Baldwin had ordered her to do so because he didnt trust anyone in the foreign lands.
"You can go to your chambers with the others, Isabella." You smiled politely at the blonde girl, no older than 19. She shook her head, her brows furrowing in concern. "No, princess. It is my duty to be with you at all times. What if you need me for something?"
"I wont." You smiled tightly. The sooner she left, the sooner you could sneak out of here and go to the madarasa. "You must be tired from all the travel. Please, go rest. I insist." But it was like she couldnt imagine committing a grave sin like this.
Fine. If she's not going to leave then-
"Isabella..." you come close to her, fiddling with your thumbs. "Can I trust you, Isabella?"
She nodded obediently. "Of course, my princess."
"I need to get out of the palace for some time." You tell her slowly, letting her absorb the words. Automatically, she responds. "I can have them arrange a tour tomorrow-"
"No, Isabella-" you let out a distressed sigh, rubbing your forehead as you paused for a dramatic effect. "I need to go out right now."
"Now? At night time?" The young girl wondered what possible emergency you could possibly have. "Oh, um- well, I can have the guards prepare a-"
"No!" You turned around, reaching for her hands. Isabella's eyes widened. A princess- royalty is touching her? You tilted your head sligtly, eyes making a desperate plea.
"I have business that I need to take care of on my own. I-" you sigh dramatically before looking at her with most remorseful eyes. "I have to find my family. I need to- I cant get married without them attending. I- I- just need them and I know! I know they're here! I can feel it!" Isabella's face softened at your "distress" but you can still see her hesitance, and so before she could protest, you squeezed her hands. "I tell everyone I am an orphan but- the the truth is... I was a slave. I was stolen from my family and- and I was raised with other slaves. It wasnt until I was 8 that I had ran away. I've been running from my owners for a long time, all while trying to find my family. I dont care if they're dead but- I need to know. I need to know, Isabella. You... you understand why, right?"
Tears slipped from Isabella's eyes as she nodded her head feverently.
"Of course I do, princess!"
-
You pulled your shawl around you tighter. Temperatures really did drop significantly at night in deserts. You were now standing outside the madarasa you had seen earlier in the day after convincing Isabella to stay behind and pretend to be you under the covers in bed while you went out.
The building was much more quiet now, although the market was still alive but people were less and everyone was mindful of how much noise they made.
You quietly walked into the madarasa, pretending to be one of the several servants who were entering the place. Inside, the area was designed in the shape of a rectangle without a roof in the center. The moon light illuminated the common ground in the middle while lanterns were lit all around the 4 sides, numerous doors on each side.
Keeping your veiled head down, you walked past many scholars and students. You wanted to enter a room, but with all the doors closed, you feared you'd enter the wrong room with someone who wouldnt be as forgiving to a stranger entering this place.
But luck was on your side tonight, as your eyes finally caught sight of an ajar door, and you slipped in once you noticed no one was currently in the room. The room was far more spacious than you had anticipated and even though the equipment was far too old, you recognised it to be a sort of lab. Nearing the desk in the corner, you noticed some papers spread around with some maths done. Even though the numbers were in Arabic, you recognised it- algebra.
"What are you doing here, woman?" You look upto find a man in his late 30s with a white turban and a black beard looking at you angrily. "Who sent you here? By Allah! Leave right now or I will have you punished for trespassing and attempting to seduce a pious man you devil-"
"I'll leave but I cant go without correcting your error." You said pointing to his papers.
He blinked at you. "What error?"
You laughed tauntingly. "Im surprised you dont see it." The man's brows furrowed as he marched over to you. "There is no error! I am the finest mathematician of this decade, if not century! I study astrology, biology, physics, alchemy, philosophy and you dare tell me that I made an error?! I am Al-Abbas ibn Bashir! Who are you to correct me woman?!"
You stared at him unamused. "The square root of 8 is not equal to the square root of 4 + square root of 4." You said pointing at his paper. He squinted at you, trying to process your words before looking where you were pointing.
"Yes, it is. It is additive-"
"Not everything is additive." You sighed, pulling out a blank sheet of paper and solving the question step by step for him. "See? Square root of 8 is 2.818 while square root of 4 is 2, so since we have two square roots if 4, it'll be 2 plus 2, which adds to 4."
You sat down on his chair while he looked over your explanation, trying to find an error in your work. There were none.
Abbas looked at you, brows still furrowed. "You- fine, you are correct. I made a small error-" "Small?" You teased. "Yes, small!" He snapped back as you chuckled. He continued. "But that doesnt explain what youre doing in my office. Who are you?"
You rested your head on your palm and stared at him. "I have work for you."
"And what might that be?"
"Hmm, depends. Are your studies purely theory based or... experimental as well?"
Abbas gave you a nod. "I like to mainly focus on theories, but I like to test my theories as well, so from time to time, I do have to conduct experiments as well."
"Fantastic!" You straightened up and grabbed a paper as you began drawing a tool. "Here, I have mentioned the dimensions and I need you to engineer this for me." He took the paper from you. "What exactly is it?"
"I cannot tell you." "Why?" "Well, I'm a scientist too, and I dont want you to stealing my work." You replied as you pulled out your coin purse that Baldwin had given you. "I suppose this would be sufficient for you?" You placed 5 gold coins in front of him.
Abbas scoffed. "You think you can buy me? I dont care for money!" He stood up, turning away from you.
You raised your brow. "Name your price."
He shook his head. "I cannot be bought, woman. I am a man of science. I have far more important things to be doing with my time-"
"Like making more mistakes?" He glared at you. "One small error. Thats all it was. Besides, just because I made a small miscalculation doesnt mean youre smarter than me."
You smiled under your veil.
"Wanna test that?"
-
Abbas had decided to work for you after you had outsmarted him in every subject he presented. I mean you only had to touch the basics of what you had learned in 6th grade science class but he was- bamboozled.
After he had recovered from his shock, he had agreed to work for you on the condition that you check his work for mistakes and impart some of you teachings. He swears he wont copy any of your "works". You gave him the gold coins and told him to work under complete discretion and that you'd meet him again in 3 days time, when you're ready to return to Jerusalem.
The plan was to collect your tool from him and then give him a couple more tools to design which you would collect 2 weeks later when you visited Egypt again. Because while you do need to work on your time machine, you also need to find ways for Baldwin to go to war with Salauddin again, because originally Baldwin dies of leprosy, but since you already cured that... you need to find a way for Baldwin to die and so far, a war seems to be the only answer.
But youve seen their relationship... Baldwin and Salauddin wouldn't simply jeopardise everything like that. They have a good bond, a strong friendship even.
However, if highschool has taught you anything, even the closest friendships end because of misunderstandings.
And so, a week later, you were back in Jerusalem with your new tool and a new plan in mind.
You walked up the stairs and towards Baldwin's office. Since you had arrived earlier than he was expecting, you wanted to surprise him. Honestly, you missed him and his adorable expressions-
You stopped at the foot of the door, your heart dropping at the sight.
Baldwin and a woman... kissing.
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rainylana · 3 days
Text
“Don’t cry.”
Eddie Munson x female reader
summary: a spa session with your new boyfriend turns out to be both of your breaking points.
requested by anonymous! i hope you like it and that I did it justice! i kind of took it and ran. i made it much more deep than i initially planned, so i hope you like it!
warnings: talk of sexual abuse and rape, with both eddie and reader, angst and tears, language, mentions of drug dealing and absent parents. reader is struggling to connect with eddie and he doesn’t know why, kinda leaves in a cliffhanger??
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Sometimes Eddie wondered if you liked him, because half the time it didn’t seem like you did. You’d become stand-offish, quiet, shrink in on yourself. His “Are you okay?” was always met with an “I’m fine.” and nothing more. It always seemed like you were protecting yourself. Not just from him, but from everyone. You loved his friends, but sometimes they scared you. You never knew who to trust. Would one of them hurt you, given the chance?
One thing was for sure though, you loved Wayne. He was like the father you never had growing up. From the way he talked, looked, his personality, it reminded you of a father. Eddie was extremely lucky to grow up with him while he did.
Eddie wasn’t stupid, however, he knew some of your behavior had to do with your upbringing. You’d shared some of it with him before, time and time again, here and there. You’d grown up pretty similarly to him. Dead beat parents that abused you, surrounded by their friends who eyed you like a piece of meat for them to chew on. When you grow up like that, you’re bound to be a little messed up. Eddie understood that. He was the same way.
But with you, it was different. He didn’t want you to feel that way around him. The relationship hadn’t been going on for that long and was still fairly fresh, but he wanted you to trust him. And even dating might have been a stretch, you were just very good friends who weren’t very good friends with anyone else.
You liked Eddie, maybe even loved him, but there was no lying when it came to the fact you were struggling to connect with him. Could you really trust him? Was he just like the men from your childhood? Would he fuck you and ultimately leave once he got his full satisfaction? You’d cried yourself to sleep many of times during the night at the thought.
Sometimes you didn’t feel safe. Not with him, not with his friends. You only ever felt truly safe with Wayne. You didn’t know why. You hated the way you felt. Eddie was a good man. He was good to you. He had yet to do anything that proved otherwise. But the dark corners of your mind lingered closer and closer to the edge, reminding you of what once was your reality on the daily. You hoped this time it was different.
“I like this color on you.” Eddie’s tongue was stuck out in concentration, one hand holding your foot, the other holding the brush of the pink nail polish bottle. “It’s cute.”
“Pink?” You smirked. “You like pink?”
“On you.” His lashes fluttered up to you briefly.
The gesture was cute, but anytime he did something sweet like this you couldn’t help but think if he was luring you into a trap. Your stomach was littered with jitters and nerves. Day by day your anxiety was staring to become more out of control. You thought about ending things with him. It wasn’t fair to him to not give the relationship your all, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You’d miss him dearly.
“Well, thanks.” You smiled softly. “I don’t like painting them by myself. The angle is too hard.”
He muttered a Mhm with his tongue out, blowing on your little toe so the pain would dry. “I used to paint my nails black when I was a teenager.” He said.
“Really?” You said amusedly. “Why’d you stop?”
“Got out of the habit, I guess.” He dipped the brush back in the bottle. “Plus, not that I cared, but kids at school were givin’ me shit about it.”
You knew Eddie had the same childhood you did, in some sense anyways. Eddie wouldn’t talk about it much, especially never about his mother. But his dad was something you knew struck a nerve. You should share your traumas together, that’s what you always told yourself. You knew you both could relate to one another, but the relationship was still too fresh. Maybe neither was ready for that.
“Want me to do your fingers?” Eddie asked, blowing on your last toe as he finished up his fine work. “I gotta say, babe, I did pretty good.”
You flexed your freshly painted toes and grinned at his work. “You did! Thank you.”
He put the bottle on the table and plopped down beside you on the couch, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “So what now? What’s next on the spa list?” He smirked and you did the same, laughing breathily.
“I won’t make you succumb to all my girly stuff.” You laughed. “Anything I can do for you? Your hair looks like it needs brushed a little.”
“What?” He gave you an incredulous look. “I keep my hair very much maintained, thank you.”
“I didn’t say you didn’t, Eddie.” You rolled your eyes. “All I said was it needed brushed a little.”
You hopped up and got your plastic hairbrush from the bathroom, pointing at him with it when you returned. “Your turn to be pampered. Sit on the floor.”
He shook his head amusedly and sat down where you had, your legs falling at the sides of his shoulders as you gently began combing out his curls. He didn’t mean to, but he sighed in content.
“Feel good?” You gave a shit eating grin.
“You’re a-lot gentler than Wayne used to be.” He relaxed under your touch. “He always pulled at my hair and got it more ratted up than it already was. This feels good.”
You smiled at the mention of Wayne. “Well, I’ve got a woman’s touch, honey.”
“Yes, you do.”
It was quiet and peaceful for a while as you brushed his hair, the both of you content in the silence. When he touched your ankle, caressing it, your heart began to pound. You hadn’t had sex with him yet. You were too scared to. You knew it was time, it had been almost two months and you knew Eddie had long since been ready to sleep with you.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to. You did. You fantasized about him just as much as he did you, but you were terrified of him leaving once you finally crossed that line. Out of instinct, you brought your legs up to you, sitting criss-cross like he was.
You heard him sigh and your stomach ached with guilt. You should give him what he wants.
“I’m sorry.” You say guiltily.
“You never let me touch you.” Eddie said flatly, staring at the ground as you continued to brush his hair. “And you won’t tell me why.”
Your eyes teared up and you stopped brushing, bringing it down to your lap. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s all you say.” He shook his head. “You don’t need to be sorry. You just need to tell me why I scare you so bad.”
“You don’t.” You denied, trying your hardest to convince him. When he said things like this, you felt foolish for thinking the way that you did. “It’s just- it’s- it’s just me.”
Eddie turned around, looking up at you to find you with tears in your face. “If it wasn’t true you wouldn’t be crying. Don’t I deserve the truth, Y/n? Have I don’t anything at all to make you scared of me?”
“No.” You sniffled, getting off the couch to go into the kitchen of his trailer. “You haven’t.”
Eddie watched you, becoming more and more anxious by the second. He sat there, waiting for his answer, anything but no. “Do you want to break up?”
“No!” You cried, shaking your head wildly. “No, that’s not what I want.”
“You don’t even like me, Y/n.” He scoffed to himself, closing in, becoming cold and shutting down. Something he hadn’t done in a long time. “You won’t open up to me. I can barely touch you. You look like you’re disgusted to be around me.”
“That’s not true!” You snapped, taking a step toward him. “Stop saying shit like that!”
“Then you say something for a change!” He argued back, not moving from his spot on the floor.
“But it’s so stupid!” You shook your head. “It’s ridiculous!”
He gave you a look. He was waiting and he wouldn’t back out this time. Either that, or he was going to break up with you. The thought made you want to vomit. Maybe you did care more deeply for him than you were letting on.
“We don’t talk about what happened when we were kids,” You sighed through tears, voice breaking. “We’re..both the same, but we don’t talk about it.”
Eddie’s eyes narrowed as you began, wondering after all, if he wanted to hear where you were going with this.
“Mom wasn’t around, so that left dad and his friends.” You stared at him, being as open and honest as you could now. There was no beating around the bush with this. “I…Jesus,” You shook your head, running a hand through your hair. “I didn’t know that it wasn’t normal at the time, but they’d…they’d use me.” You took a deep breath after the last word. No stopping now.
“They would play poker, touch me, rape me.” You weren’t crying anymore, talking mostly to yourself now at this point. “And I know you would never do that to me, Eddie, but sometimes I’m so afraid of it happening again and I just shut down.” You closed your eyes. “You touch me and I’m so afraid you’ll abandon me once we sleep together. That’s all anyone has ever done in my life.”
“Fuck me, then leave.” You sniffled. “That’s all they ever do.”
Eddie’s eyes were drooping, slightly narrowed and brows furrowed. He shook his head softly, you almost missed it, and you knew you’d made him at a loss for words.
He looked up to you briefly, licking his lips before he spoke. “There was this one guy my dad would deal for,” He began. “He was a big dude, almost seven foot. I was only thirteen. But dad would bring him into the house and he…would look at me. Just watch me wherever I went.” He stared at his hands, not daring to look at you.
“I think he payed dad.” His voice broke, but he refused to let any tears fall. “Because I screamed and screamed and he wouldn’t come.”
You let out an audibly gasp and covered your mask, your heart falling to the floor with a splat.
“Oh, god, Eddie,” You crawled to the floor and knelt beside him.
“It’s okay.” He stopped your apologies. “I didn’t tell you for you to be sorry for me. I told you because you need to know you’re not alone, and not everyone is out to get you. You’re safe with me. I want you to believe that.”
You let out a wet sob, tears rolling down your red face. “How do I stop being scared? I want to be with you.”
He smiled softly, a finger swiping at a tear. “We have all the time in the world for that, angel.”
You grabbed his arm and laid your head against his shoulder, sobbing like a broken child.
“Oh, baby,” He kissed your forehead. “Don’t cry.”
It would be a long road to recovery, but you could both do it together. Slowly, every day you would both open up to each other about what you went through, and day by day, it would get easier.
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faetima · 3 days
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THE AVEN + HANAHAKI THING YESSS I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG BECAUSE LIKE. I know it's always super angsty when it's the reader that gets hanahaki but rine having it. imagine pushing your s/o away because you don't think you can do a relationship rn just to get hit by the stupid idiot in love disease. damn sucks to be you man
(tbh hanahaki as fun as the angst is I love aventurine so much and usually just alter hanahaki to be like less deadly because a) I DONT WANT TO BE SAD and b) the whole guilt of "I developed hanahaki because of you now love me or I WILL die" feels strange to me)(but also yum angst and the consequences of pushing someone away) ((sorry I talk a lot teehee okay bye))
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𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫. 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠. .
. . too bad he wasn't your darling anymore.
// tws ; slight cursing, blood ; gn reader ; modern au, hanahaki au 
a/n: finally wrote the aventurine exes hanahaki au lol ,, had no idea how to finish this but i might make a part 2 !! :3
ever since you had started dating aventurine, you felt like you were a burden to him in some way. but you were never sure if you were actually a burden to him, or if that was your mind playing tricks on you.
but last week had just solidified your beliefs.
you both had fought over something petty--you couldn't be bothered to remember what it was--and harsh words had been thrown around in the process.
words that cut deep into you, practically making you bleed out.
and after that?
aventurine had ignored you for the rest of the entire week. he hadn't even glanced in your direction. it was fine if he needed some space to think, but he didn't even tell you, he just started fucking ignoring you.
your efforts to talk to him had just been met by blank uninterested violet eyes.
everything that happened in the last week had all led up to yesterday.
you stood in front of his door, swallowing your nerves. why were you so nervous?
after everything that happened, everything you felt, everything he said, you didn't think you could handle a relationship at that point.
so, when aventurine answered the door, his blonde hair unruly and lavender eyes tired, you took a deep breath and finally said the words you had been so scared of saying.
"i want to break up."
--
now, you were rethinking your decision.
on one hand, it felt like a large weight had been lifted off your shoulders.
on the other hand, breaking up with him had left you in your current predicament: crouched on the cold tiled floor of your apartment, hurling up bright yellow marigolds. you coughed them up, unwillingly watching as they hit your newly polished floor. they hit the ground ungracefully, clumped together with a disgusting mixture of mucus and blood. you gagged on the flowers as the sickly sweet smell of the marigolds hit you, making you feel lightheaded and sick to your stomach.
you didn't think you would get the disease again after aventurine asked you out.
you had it once, albeit briefly. it was before you had even talked to aventurine, too scared to do so. maybe it had been your shyness, or maybe you were just scared of rejection. you weren't too sure which, but it had caused you to cough out a few lemon yellow petals.
but, as quickly as the disease had started, it had ended. aventurine talked to you and started getting close to you, and your hanahaki had eventually diminished into nothing. after that, you thought it would never start again.
but you guessed you were wrong, since the disease decided to plague you.
marigold petals--slick with mucus--fell out your mouth as you coughed your lungs out. they fell almost gracefully onto the small flower pile.
you took fast and shaky breaths, collapsing. you were too exhausted to move, the hanahaki sucking all the life out of you.
--
it had been a week now, and the disease had just gotten worse. at this rate, it would only take a month or two until you suffocated on the fucking marigolds.
you could talk to aventurine, but he would probably just ignore you again.
you could get the surgery, but you would rather die than forget aventurine. you still loved him.
at this point, you couldn't do anything but hope that the disease would just somehow go away.
--
aventurine was growing increasingly worried as the days passed.
he hadn't seen you at all after you had broken up. sure, that was normal, but his gut told him something was wrong.
horrible thoughts of what could've happened to you plagued his mind, and he couldn't take it anymore.
he grabbed his keys, his coat, and headed towards your apartment.
maybe it was an invasion of privacy, but even your friends felt as if something were terribly wrong. he'd just check on you once, and never speak to you again. you'd be okay with that, right?
--
aventurine had knocked about a dozen times by now, but had received no answer.
he swallowed. he still had a spare key to your apartment, but what if you didn't want him to come in? what if you were just busy? what if he was breaching your privacy?
he took a shaky inhale.
fuck it.
--
he stepped inside your apartment, and was hit by the extremely potent smell of marigolds.
he glanced around, and froze at what he saw.
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Looks like a group of guys from your college won’t leave you alone.
Oh would you look at that,
1940’s!MobBoss!Bucky Barnes
has got your back, and will continue to have your back forever.
(Also hi babes!!! 🤗🤗Thousand kisses from me to you! 💋💋)
Have Your Back Forever And Always » 40s Bucky Barnes
Pairings: Mob Boss!40s Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky steps in and saves you from the guys in your friend group who won’t leave you alone.
Warnings: Fluff, language, alcohol, smoking, unwanted touching, kissing, use of pet names
A/N: @amathslutsguidetofandom I love the thought of 1940s!Mob Boss!Bucky Barnes and decided to write it as a one shot🥰🩵
Written on my phone. I’m sorry for any mistakes.
Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier
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“No thank you.” You say, politely turning down a drink from one of the guys you go to college with.
“C’mon, sweetheart. It’s just one drink.” Gerald says, wrapping his arm around your waist.
Bucky watched from the other side of the bar as you continued to politely turn the guys down, but they wouldn’t take no for an answer. He could tell how uncomfortable you were.
“It’s just a drink, Y/N.” Fred says, putting his hand on your thigh.
That made you even more uncomfortable than you already were. Bucky downed the rest of his drink and made his way towards you.
“She said no.” Bucky says, standing behind Gerald and Fred.
“No one asked you, man.” Fred says.
“Why don’t you run along?” Gerald says.
Bucky chuckled before grabbing the back of their necks and slamming their heads against the bar counter, making everyone in the bar go quiet and look at them. You quickly stood up and backed away with wide eyes.
“How about you two run along?” Bucky says.
They were too scared to say anything so they just nodded their heads. Bucky let go of them and they stood up. They were about to bolt out of the bar when Bucky grabbed the back of their shirts.
“If I ever and I mean ever see you two near her again, I won’t hesitate to kick your asses, got it?” He says.
“Got it.” They say in unison.
Bucky let go of them and they sprinted out of the bar. You stood there with a surprised look on your face. No one has never done that for you.
“Are you ok, ma’am?” Bucky asks softly.
“I am now. Thank you.” You say, giving him a smile.
“Can I buy you a drink?” He asks.
“I’d like to know your name first.” You say.
“James Barnes.” He held his hand out for you to shake. “Everyone I know calls me Bucky.” He says.
“Nice to meet you, James.” You shook his hand. “I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself. “Now that we know each other’s names, I’ll accept that drink now.” You say with a smile.
You and Bucky took a seat at the bar counter and he ordered you two drinks.
“So tell me, doll face…” Bucky took a sip of his bourbon before asking his question. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing at a bar like this?” He asks.
“I go to the local college and I wanted to come here for a couple drinks after all the studying I’ve been doing lately.” You tell him.
“What are you studying?” He asks curiously.
“I want to be a nurse.” You say.
“That’s amazing. I hope all that studying pays off.” He says.
“I hope so too. I graduate next month.” You say.
You learned that Bucky is one of the most powerful men in Brooklyn, New York. You and Bucky spent the whole night talking and getting to know each other till the bar was about to close. He even offered to walk you home from the bar. Bucky being the gentleman he is, wrapped his arm around your waist to keep you close to him and to protect you.
“Thank you for saving me and for walking me home, James.” You say with a smile.
“You don’t have to thank me, babydoll. I have your back forever and always.” Bucky smiles. “If you don’t mind, I would like to see you again.” He says.
“I would absolutely love that.” You smiled. “I’m free tomorrow afternoon after school.” You say.
“Great so it’s a date.” He says.
Bucky cupped your cheeks and kissed you passionately. Your hands grasped his suit jacket to steady yourself. Your lips moved in sync with his. It felt like everything around you guys was in slow motion. Bucky pulled away slowly, looking deep in your eyes.
“See you tomorrow afternoon, doll.” Bucky says softly.
“See you tomorrow, Bucky.” You say, smiling widely.
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
-Bucky’s Doll
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eddiesxangel · 3 days
Text
Downhearted | E.M
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Cw: reader with bad mental health (depression/anxiety), bestfriend!Eddie x fem!reader, hurt/comfort, smut 18+ Eddie takes care of reader.
2.4k (this was suppose to be a blurb… oops)
Recently, you have been feeling very low, and despite your best efforts, you are struggling to get back to your usual self. However, your best friend Eddie has not given up on you. He has been by your side, trying to uplift your mood and bring back your smile, but nothing seems to work. Eddie has tried everything in his power to help you, from taking you out for lunch to watching funny movies together, but once you are on your own, everything seems to be crashing down on you even harder.
Your friend is worried about you and wants to see you happy again. He understands how challenging it is to deal with mental health issues and how it can affect your life. That's why he has come up with a last-ditch plan to lift your spirits and make you feel better. He hopes that this plan will work and bring a smile to your face once again.
To make things worse, you have been distancing yourself from your friends for weeks now, and you feel terrible about it. You feel like you're letting them down, especially Eddie, who has been there for you through thick and thin. He has come over at least three times a week since your mental health started to deteriorate again, and he has never given up on you.
This isn't the first time your mental health has plummeted, but this time, it's worse than ever before. You don't even have the energy to try and get better, and you feel like everything is falling apart around you. However, Eddie's unwavering support and his last-ditch plan to lift your spirits give you hope that things will get better soon.
Living alone didn’t help. You would go days without talking to someone, and that only made things worse. So Eddie made it his mission to be there for you. You’ve always been there for him; it’s the least he can do.
You haven’t left your bed today or all week. You’ve been on your phone all day but not really doing anything; you’re numb. Not even videos of kittens could make you feel anything.
You’ve been ignoring Eddie's pleas to help you. Text after text, his contact would pop up, but you paid no mind. So when you hear the knock on your door, you groan, knowing it’s him. You want to do anything but get up, but how could you leave your best friend standing out there? The thought made you sick to your stomach. You don’t deserve him. He’s too good to you, and all you do is bring him down with you.
As you sniffle back your tears and your inner demons, you wrap yourself in your blanket and pad your way slowly to the door.
You open it, and Eddie’s smile falls when he sees you. You haven’t looked at yourself in over a week, and you also haven’t showered in over a week. As Eddie takes in your state, a small, heartbroken “sweetheart” leaves his lips.
He felt so guilty for not being able to visit you last week. He’d been working doubles and was exhausted. Today was his first day off in six days, and he was so excited to spend time with you.
Your vision blurs as you see Eddie standing there with a bag of groceries with food, actual nutrition that you've been depriving yourself of, only aiding your demons.
He drops the bag and wraps his arms around your frail frame, and you break.
“I don’t know what's wrong with me?” Your voice cracks. You can’t remember the last time you spoke words aloud.
Your breath is shaky, and you tremble as you feel Eddie’s strong arms wrapped around you.
His familiar smell only calms you a little, but you’re so exhausted you can no longer hold it together.
He coos you and strokes your greasy hair, not caring how dirty it feels. He understands, he knows.
“Come, let’s get you feeling a little better, ok?”
“I can’t,” your voice shakes.
“Yes, I’ll be right here to help, okay?” He cups your face, gently forcing you to look into his eyes.
He walks you to the kitchen table, and he begs you to drink some water and eat the sandwich he brought over for you.
While you eat, you see Eddie unpack the groceries and then go to your room. A few minutes later, he comes out to throw your sheets in the washer and pulls a fresh pair from your linen closet.
You finish eating as much as you can when Eddie returns from making your bed.
Eddie coerced you to the bathroom. He helps you brush your teeth and convinces you to shower, not daring to joke about how you smell. You say you will as long as he stays in there with you.
Washing yourself was too much to do on your own. So he stood on the other side of the curtain, and you just stood there under the hot water, unable to move.
“Sweetheart? You doing okay?”
Your tears are camouflaged, but your gasps aren’t.
“N-no”
“Do… do you want me to help?” He cringes.
You don’t answer, and it worries Eddie. Had he overstepped? You were naked behind the thin material separating you.
Eddie waits for a few more beats; his heart is pounding. But he releases his breath when he sees your hand push the curtain aside to invite him in.
Nothing would be able to prepare him for the sight before his eyes. You had already started but didn’t get far; some soap suds had already been spread across your chest.
He tried hard to ignore how the blood flow immediately started flowing south. This was not the time to get a boner.
You watched how Eddie removed his shirt and pants in a daze. He kept on his boxers, but you could see the small tent forming.
You didn’t even care that you were naked in front of your best friend because you felt nothing.
You just wanted to feel something.
Eddie stepped in with you and pulled the shower curtain closed. It was so intimate; you and Eddie hadn’t been this close in this way before. But you trusted one another, and there was no awkwardness or hesitation once Eddie squeezed the shampoo in his hands and started.
I felt Eddie’s fingers massage your scalp, and it was nice. The last time someone took care of you like this was when you were a child when you were not old enough to do it yourself.
Eddie ensured that everything was rinsed properly, and then he moved on to the conditioner. He made sure to saturate all your hair before he took the loofa and your body wash.
Now this, was where Eddie got a little nervous. He didn’t want to overstep.
As you stood there, almost catatonic, he lifted your arms to get your armpits, then he ran the soap down your arms, across your back and down your legs, avoiding your more intimate areas.
“You think you can help me out, sweetheart?”
You slowly nod your head, and he passes you the saturated loofa.
Eddie watches as you run it across your chest, lifting a breast to get underneath. Eddie tries not to, but he can’t help but feel aroused. He tries to push it away, but the last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable.
He knows you trust him; you’re asking him to help you in your darkest hour.
He shifts, trying to avoid your gaze; it’s only making things harder. Literally.
He pushes away those thoughts and makes sure you’re fully rinsed off. He turns off the water for you and goes to get your towel. He’s soaked, but he doesn’t care; your wellbeing will come first, even if he’s sprouting goosebumps along his flesh.
He takes your hand to guide you out of the tub. You feel slightly better, but it’s not enough.
When a thought pops into your head, you don’t care if it’s stupid, so you act on it without giving it any more thought.
You reach out and graze your hand over Eddie’s soaked boxers. They are taught to his skin, not hide anything, and you can see he’s ready and willing to go.
He steps back at the sudden touch.
“Please, Eddie, I need to feel something, anything. I don’t know what else to do” you sobbed.
As you stand there, feeling lost and alone, Eddie's embrace envelops you, pulling you in closer. In this moment, you know that you are not alone and that your friend is there to support you through thick and thin. Eddie's hug is so tight; he needs you to know that he would let nothing in the world hurt you. You close your eyes and breathe in deeply, grateful for your friend's unwavering support.
“Shhhhhh y/n, it’s okay. I have you.” He wraps the fluffy bath towel around your body, keeping you warm.
“Please Eddie”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. I won’t let this change anything between us, I swear.”
“Okay, sweetheart. Okay,” he didn’t know if this was a good idea, but he had to do something to make you feel better; he would do anything for you; he would get the moon for you if there was a way. So he will do this for you.
He surprises you by lifting you up bridal style and carrying you to the bedroom. He's much stronger than you thought as he gently placed you down on your fresh sheets.
“Tell me if you want to stop, okay?”
“I promise, Eddie.” You nod.
Slowly, Eddie leans down to kiss you gently. The mint toothpaste still lingers on your breath. His lips feel so soft; it’s nice to be kissed.it's nice to be kissed by Eddie.
You feel his lips detach from yours, moving across your cheek and lowering your neck. The water from his hair trickled into your skin, making you shiver.
Eddie wanted to know your body, what made you tick, what made you moan, what made you needy with desire. He focused on the side of your neck and was proud when he found a spot that made you whimper.
“That okay, sweetheart?”
“Mmhmmm”
He could feel your chest rise and fall with heavy breaths. He could see he was getting you worked up the way you needed.
His timid fingers spread your legs wider so he could feel you and to Eddie’s surprise, you were still dry. He thought he would feel your slick as he slowly rubbed your pussy, but it wasn’t there.
“I uh- um. I don’t think you’re enjoying this.” he sits back, a bit defeated. This hasn’t happened to him before.
“It’s not you, Eddie; it’s me. I-I want to... You’re doing good; it’s just that sometimes girls need help if they’re like… this…”
“Oh,” Eddie understands, you're still in your head,” Eddie understands, you.
“I have lube and condoms in the nightstand”
Eddie reaches over you to grab it. The crack of the hard plastic lid is so loud in the silent room that you flinch a little.
“Sorry”
“It’s okay,” you whisper. Suddenly you’re very aware you’re naked in front of your best friend, but that is brushed to the side when you feel his slippery fingers make contact with your pussy once again.
“Ohhhh,” you breathe in.
Eddie smirks and leans in to kiss you once again. You feel his tongue slick its way past your lips; who knew he was such a good kisser.
Slowly, minute by minute, you’re actually feeling something—pleasure. Eddie brings you back to life with each touch, brush, and kiss.
“Eddie,” you moan as his fingers slip inside you.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“More,” you pant.
You don’t have to tell him twice. He will do anything to make you feel better, which seems to be working. He rips open the condom, and you surprise him by reaching up to cup his balls. He gasps, and a smirk spreads across your face for the first time in weeks.
“I knew there was a little freak you were hiding from me.” Eddie laughs, and he pulls one out of you as well. His heart swells when he hears the sound leave your lips.
“There’s my girl,” so much relief is behind his eyes.
“Hi, Eddie.” You look up at him like he’s given you all the stars in the sky.
“You still want to do this?”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” he brushes your wet hair behind your ear and softly kisses you. It becomes needy quickly, and desperation takes over both of you.
It didn’t matter that you were only best friends, that you weren’t okay, that he was in just as much pain as you were. All that mattered was one another, two physical entities in your own little world. Your mind was completely erased; for a moment, you finally forgot everything weighing down on you.
Eddie continues to kiss you as he guides himself in slowly. You can’t help but take a deep breath as he pushes his way in.
As Eddie entered you, you melted into his touch. Nothing could have made you feel this good. He was consuming every inch of your being. With every brush, every thrust, every nip, kiss and bite, you were coming alive again.
Eddie’s hands travel all along your body, squeezing your breasts, tweaking your nipples, making you twitch and grind up into Eddie’s touch. Your hips are ungulate with his, and your moments become one as you and Eddie perform the perfect dance.
The past picks up faster and faster. Eddie brushes the spot inside you every single time, and you’re crying out his name.
Eddie can’t believe he’s making you feel this good, this wanted. His beautiful best friend was here helping you, holding you, and doing this for you.
“Eddie, please”
“Let go, baby”
The pet name accidentally slipped past his lips and didn’t go unnoticed. It only aided your orgasm to come that much quicker.
A wave of pleasure crashed over you as it washed through your whole body without warning.
Eddie watched as he was the one who made your body quiver, to make your eyes roll back, to have you silently screaming for him. He couldn’t hold on anymore, either. Your cunt clamped down so tightly on his cock he shook as he spilled into the condom.
His sweaty body collapses on you, and the only thing you can hear is your erratic breaths.
“Thank you, Eddie,” you sniffle, and Eddie quickly pops his head up because you’re crying once again.
“Baby, please don’t cry. I can’t take it anymore.” he holds your face, wiping away your tears with his thumbs.
“No, it's- it's happy tears; you helped me feel something. I thought I was broken. Thank you, Teddie.”
“I’ll always be here for you; I love you, sweetheart."
You didn’t care if he only meant platonically or romantically; he was your person forever and always.
“I love you too.”
Tagging some mooties!: @nailbatanddungeon @taintedcigs @hellfirenacht @littlexdeaths @andvys @rebelfell @xxbimbobunnyxx @rowanswriting @voyeurmunson @asimpforthe80s @mmunson86 @slutty-thevampireslayer @strangerstilinski
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faetreides · 1 day
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oooh art would be lowkey freaky. i feel like he’s also a super munch. he’ll let you sit on his face for hours!!
cw: 18+ mdni, cunnilingus, ambiguous era, afab reader, slight brat!reader, teasing, like two spanks (+ one instance of ass play + very slight anal fingering)
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Art devours you like no one else ever could, burying his tongue into your pussy for hours on end. If he could, he’d do it 24/7. He does it enough as it is away. As a wake up call, a way to say goodnight, in the shower, on your period, from behind while you’re cooking, in a pool chair, you get the gist. If you asked what he favorite sexual act to do with you was, there’s not a single doubt in your mind that it would be slurping up your pussy.
You’ve never sat on his face before though, too scared to break his neck after reading a story on your phone about that happening to someone else. It’d be a real mood killer to come down from you high to see your boyfriend dead to the world, literally. You didn’t talk about it again after the initial awkward discussion that ended with you dismissing it. But he just looks so hot in the early morning sun, a rare sleepy day in where you actually get to marvel at what Art looks like when he’s relaxed.
You bite your lip and shake him gently, trying not to shy away and curl up into a ball when he eventually groans and rubs his eyes open.
“Morning, baby.” He grunts in his husky morning voice.
He immediately puckers his lips for a kiss that you provide with less casual confidence than usual. His brow furrows, and he caresses the inside of your wrist with his thumb.
“What’s up? Are you hungry?” He asks you, thinking that you’re needing him to run and get you coffee or something.
You say no and play with your hands, the ache you’ve been feeling between your thighs only grows the more you look into his eyes.
“I just…. I need you.” You whisper.
Art squints his eyes, not sure what you mean. Then he recalls how he usually wakes you up in the morning, “Oh. You need me, huh?”
You nod and spread your legs, giving a view of your bare pussy. You took your underwear off earlier when the feeling got to be too much.
“Can you say it for me, angel? Tell me what you need and i’ll give it you.” He grins, teasing you. “If you woke me up, you must need whatever it is really bad.”
You roll your eyes and straddle him, sighing in bliss when he latches onto your hips. You’d put up more of a fight if you weren’t so horny, but you’ll let Art have his fun this time.
“I need you to eat me out.” You hold back the ‘obviously’ that you want to tack onto the end of your sentence.
Art’s grin widens and he makes you rock back and forth on his clothed bulge. He waist until you’re juices are wetting the fabric of his underwear before he pats your thigh, telling you to get off. You don’t budge and allow him to get into the typical position. Instead you lift your hips and shuffle up the bed until you’re hovering over his face.
“I want you to eat me out like this.”
Art’s grin falters as his eyes widen in shock for a second, you must really be pent up if you’re being this bold. He’s not complaining, he’d been waiting patiently for you to get comfortable enough to use him like a chair. You’re enough of a brat to change your mind if he acts too smug about getting what he wants even if you want it too though, so he tones it down.
“Get to it then, angel.” He smirks, his words trailing off into a satisfied sigh. “Give me a taste of this pretty pussy, don’t hold back.”
He flattens his tongue expectantly and leans his head back against the pillows.
Before you can even hesitate, Art snakes his arms under your legs and yanks your body down, making you drop your weight on him. You yelp but he doesn’t let you squirm away from his mouth. The sensation of his tongue lying still beneath you feels strange for a second, but a slap to your ass snaps you out of it enough to start moving your hips.
You shout and grab onto the headboard, getting yourself off on your boyfriend’s face. You play with one of your tits as you start to bounce on him, craving more of his tongue.
You reach down and tug on his hair, suddenly feeling too shy to make eye contact. He hasn’t looked away from you this entire time, and your cheeks warm in embarrassment at the thought of how messy you already look.
He winks at you, not moving at all and letting you take your fill. Well that’s not what you want anymore, so you tug his hair harder and beg.
“Please, baby, just tongue fuck me already. Don’t you want to? ‘m getting tired…” You whine, pouting down at him.
You stop your hips when you don’t get an answer. Art’s eyes crinkle in delight at your predicament, but he gives in to you. He always does, you just don’t like when he puts you on the spot and makes you wait like this. Secretly you kinda enjoy how he acts in bed, but you like putting up a fight way more.
Art curls his tongue around your clit and you throw your head back. He gives the throbbing bud a few customary sucks and then he jabs his tongue into your wet hole. You moan and grab onto his hair, bouncing on him in time with his tongue’s short thrusts. You roll your hips down against the slick appendage and cry out when it hits the right spot, grasping onto the headboard for dear life.
“Oh my god, feels so good! Wanted you in my pussy, need you there, sucking me dry-what the fuck, yes!” You squeal, firmly keeping his face nuzzled into your pussy and your thighs around his head.
His hands are playing with your ass while he eats you out. You’re mid bounce when you feel one of his thumbs prod at your ass hole, and the barest hint of having two of your wholes filled gets you moving faster on him. He spread your cheeks wider and kneads the flesh, jiggling them in his hands.
Art responds in kind and slides his tongue around whatever parts of your juicy pussy he can, scooping up your juices and guzzling them down as he stabs his tongue through your sopping folds.
You’d normally pull him back by his hair when you got close, not wanting to get him too dirty with your cum. But now you’re tightening your thighs over his ears and and stuffing his nose into your trimmed pubic hair, bouncing like your life depends on it.
Art spanks you again when your walls spasm around his tongue thirty seconds later. He gulps your orgasm down with love in his eyes and a heartbeat in his dick. He coos at your soft sniffles and massages your trembling thighs when you get up and collapse beside him.
“Thanks for breakfast, angel, I’d rate it 5 stars”. He laughs, half jokingly and half seriously.
“Whatever, perv.” You weakly smack him on the chest and groan, trying to keep your soul in your body. “Go get coffee… please.”
372 notes · View notes
wosoluver · 2 days
Text
Falling asleep in paradise.
TW: Smut, minors DNI
Lena x reader
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"I have to go schatz, it's a work get together, and I need to earn some points with my boss."
"You wouldn't have to if you you weren't always late to work."
"Really? And whose fault is that?"
"Not mine! You're the one who is sexy in the mornings. And I don't like him. Always trying to hit on you."
"Well, he can keep trying, he's never going to land anything so."
He flirted with you quite a lot, despite knowing it was inappropriate and that you were in a relationship.
You only ignored him, he was delusional if he thought you would ever give him a chance.
You went to the bathroom after getting dressed, to do your make up and hair. Lena wouldn't leave your side. Standing in the doorway, watching you.
As you were adding the last touches, pouting your lips at the mirror as you retouched you lipstick, she couldn't stop herself.
"Why are you getting so dressed up?" pouting her lips, pulling you close.
You laughed at your girlfriend, her jealousy could get a bit much sometimes, but you didn't mind, actually you found it attractive.
"Baby, I always dress like this."
"Yes, but today I won't be there if you need me. I love you liebling." whispering lovingly this time.
"Love you too, more than anything."
Her hands on your hips as she kissed your neck, trying to convince you to get in bed with her.
"I'm serious. I'll be back before you know it."
You untangled yourself before she succeeded, walking towards the front door, getting your bag and keys, and her trailing behind you.
"Bye love, no need to wait up on me." teasing her. Knowing exactly what you were doing.
"And you. Come straight home. To me." she said in a firm tone that made you instantly wet.
But you didn't give in.
Giving her a kiss you walked out the door.
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"Hello, girl you look so good tonight!" - said your friend and coworker as you walked to the table.
"She always looks good." and there he was, before you had even sat down.
"Hey guys. Have you ordered anything yet?"
You greeted them as you sat in between your favorite coworkers.
Some had, some hadn't and trying to rizz you up, your boss had offered to pay for the round. Which annoyed the ones who were already having their drinks.
The night carried on fine, except you couldn't get your mind off her. You had been talking for hours. But by now you only wanted to go home, you wanted Lena.
"So Y/N, do you still have a boyfriend?"
"A girlfriend and yes. Actually I should probably get going, home to her."
He let out an annoyed sight as you got up to say goodbye to everyone.
Getting in the car and taking a deep breath, it wouldn't be long now.
You were probably a little over the speed limit on the road. But you were impatient.
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As you came in, you noticed she was still up, sitting on the couch, watching something on the tv.
"Thought you weren't coming home anymore." - once again, talking in that low tone.
You walked over to her, staring down at how good she looked. She aways did. Only wearing a sports bra and shorts. You couldn't tear your eyes away from her thighs. They were almost an obsession of yours.
Getting your shoes off, she had picked up on what was going on.
"Maybe I shouldn't have." - You matched her energy, as she pulled you down to her. Setting you down, on her right thigh. One leg in each side of it.
"So horny and I haven't even said much." - she traced your lips with her thumb.
"You didn't have to, after basically saying 'come straight home so I can fuck you'."
"I was only trying to convince you to stay. I'm not sure if the offer is still up." - she whispered in your ear, as she rocked you against her leg slowly. And a moan escaped your lips.
"Lena, please."
She undressed you little by little. Enjoying the feeling of your wetness on her thigh. Letting out delicious groans.
Putting her hands on your hips as she guided you, back and forth, you made a mess, throwing your head back.
By now you were grinding hard against her. One of her hands was in your hair, her lips going from you neck to your lips, kissing, biting down your lip as you moaned out her name.
"That’s it, love. Fuck-" she says while flexing her muscles under you.
As your pace starts faltering, she moves you to straddle now both of her legs, to give you more support, as she brought her hand down between your legs, rubbing your clit and adding in two fingers, reaching for your g-spot, so she could get you to finish.
"Schatz I-"
"I know, I'm here, you can let go." she whispered softly as she left a kiss on your temple.
Finally cumming on top of her, relaxing your body and nuzzling your head on her neck, as she carried you to bed.
She got up and went to the bathroom, only to come back with a damp towel.
But you pouted, hissing at the contact, you were sensitive and the towel being somewhat cold didn't help.
"I'll be quick liebling."
And not a minute later you were already sound asleep. She pulled the covers over you.
Got changed and laid down on the other side of the bed, gently brushing your hair out of your face. Falling asleep in paradise.
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This was supposed to be put out earlier, but I accidentally deleted part of it and had to rewrite it. 🩷 Also first time writing smut?!
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evergreenfields · 2 days
Text
In Another Life
Hurt, no comfort, angst, I’m ready to break my own heart.
Your flatmate is dating Soap and he’s everything you want.
Pairing: Soap x your female flatmate, one sided female reader x Soap, Captain Price x reader.
CW: MDNI! low self esteem, character death (spoiler, not explicit), catcalling, voyeurism, masturbation, PIV sex.
A/n: I hella projected lol. Reader is broken.
——
Soap is dating your flatmate.
Most men that your flatmate brought home were wet wipes, but this guy was some kind of special forces. His eyes were electric blue and he had the thickest eyelashes, he went by Johnny but he also went by Soap, you never learned why. You had to mentally pinch yourself while staring at him, he was everything you wanted in a partner. You hated the creamy mess in your underwear when you were in his company.
He was muscled and shaped like an upside down triangle, you had to look away when he would pop out from their room in the night. Muttering “sorry ‘scuse me” as you squeeze past the narrow corridor, ignoring the rumble of his “no no, I’m taking up all the room, lass.”
You caught his thighs and bulge in his compression shorts when he left for a run in the morning. Later, your flatmate traipsed into the kitchen muttering “I can hardly walk after last night, let alone run!”
You laugh and slap her arm playfully as you leave the room. You’re an expert at that now. That’s not to say you were never happy for her, but your phone was currently not blowing up with your latest dating app matches.
——
On the off chance Soap arrived when you were coming out of the shower, he only ever looked at your eyes and quickly got out of your way. He only had eyes for your flatmate. You got to your room and stood in front of the mirror and wondered what your flatmate and other women had that you didn’t.
——
Soap was full of energy, ready for a laugh but very protective. You would listen from your room when he dropped her off late at night after a raucous night out on the town.
“Call me tomorrow, alright?” His voice is muffled.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Just call me when you wake up. You look like you need a lie in tomorrow. I’ll bring you breakfast.”
Tomorrow morning comes and Soap is early with a bag of food from a brunch spot nearby, he even brought you a coffee too. You thank him too much, maybe it wasn’t the coffee you were thanking him for.
——
Your flatmate and Soap came home late one night absolutely drunk out of their minds, they wobbled through the front door trying to dance to a song playing on his phone. They see you and it’s like they have heart eyes.
“Y/n, it’s y/n, THE GOAT!” Your roommate yells.
“The GOAT!” Soap hollers.
They both flop into the sofa either side of you. They’re too drunk to notice your teary eyes. You pushed the soggy tissue into your sleeve.
A dance tune starts up and before you can even recognise it, Soap bounces up with hands held out towards you both.
Your roommate grabs one hand.
You’re next.
You take Soap’s hand and you arc off the sofa, he’s strong.
You’re pressed up against his side. He’s hard, large and warm, you try not to enjoy the bodily contact as you all boogie to the song. You start to smile until you remember he isn’t yours.
——
“It’s only 2 days but I’m so excited,” she talks about her friend’s wedding in the south of France, “I’m wearing this dress” she flicks through her phone gallery “and Johnny is going to wear a kilt!” Muscled calves, big smile and rugged hands clasped at his front, Johnny looked like a million bucks.
“I love it, you’ll match!” You managed to squeeze out. You imagine the memories they’ll make and photos they’ll take. That night you have a 2nd date, you are excited by the fact he has asked you out again. It filled you with something resembling happiness.
You are meant to meet at a station out of town but you couldn’t find him at the small station and the path towards the car park was unlit and dodgy. When your date found you, he was annoyed that he had to pay for parking. He kept throwing red flags at you.
But still you slept with him because you wanted to feel touched and desired. You regretted it and then you had to take the train home later that night because he “had an early start to work tomorrow.” You wrapped your jacket around yourself to keep out some of the cold, trying not to be annoyed that he didn’t even attempt to make you orgasm or show any aftercare. You delete his number from your phone.
Later that weekend, the duo arrived home.
“We bought you back some chocolate!” Your flatmate says, Johnny swings his bag off his back, he passes it to you with 2 hands like it's a bar of gold. It could have been, with the way you looked at it.
“Aww guys you didn’t have to.” Your mouth is dry.
“Johnny found it, I didn’t know you were a sea salt and caramel fan!”
You put the chocolate in a drawer because you didn’t want to get used to tastes you couldn’t indulge in.
——
“He’s a prick, forget about him.” Your flatmate says pointedly about a new guy you were dating.
“Oi who’s a prick?” Soap walks into the kitchen, taking your flatmate’s waist in his hand.
“No one-” you turn away.
“A fuck boy that y/n isn’t seeing any more.” Your flat mate sounds proud by what wasn’t her decision.
“He isn’t a fuck boy.” You know you’ll regret clarifying the point, “we didn’t fuck, so he’s not. He’s just a prick.” You and the conversation. Soap whistles.
Later that night when you’re washing the dishes, Soap approaches you.
“Listen, forget about that guy,” he says low, you’d follow that voice anywhere.
“Thanks.” You squeak quietly.
“You will find what you're looking for, keep pushing and you’ll look back on this shite with a smile, maybe a misty eye, ey?” He bends forward to catch your eyes as you were trying to avoid them.
He smiles, you smile. He leaves, you remain.
The suds disappear and you turn off the tap, left in silence.
That night, they have muted sex, you hear their attempts at muffling moans and stifling strained grunts. You hear the bed frame squeak on the last hardest thrusts, then silence for a while. You imagine they feel warm, tingly and flushed, chests heaving. Eventually you hear footsteps come and go from the bathroom, the toilet flush going and the door shuts again. You wait for your heart rate to stabilise and your heart ache to subside.
——
“We’re going to the pub, wanna join us? Johnny’s friends are going to be there.” Your flatmate asks you.
You wonder if they’re as hot, funny and protective. You tell yourself you’re just going along for a chat, but part of you hopes it leads to something more; you put the hopeless in hopeless romantic. Put yourself out there, that’s what everyone says.
You wear a nice outfit that makes you feel pretty, your confidence isn’t abundant but you’re feeling yourself.
You arrive at the pub, you meet them, you chat, you drink, you leave.
Nothing about the evening was bad, his team were really nice, all huge and charming in their own ways. Their Captain was a greyhound with an intense gaze that seemed to follow you. Gaz’s girlfriend arrived and you thought you heard some rumblings about Ghost being pushed to date.
The Captain was receptive to you, leaning in to listen, you thought you saw him glance at your lips and legs. He helped you off the tall stool you were sitting on, taking you by your waist to help you down. You know not to push, men hated when women pushed. Well, they hated when you pushed. And you didn’t want to make anything awkward between you and your flatmate. So you left without asking for his phone number or a date, but he hugged you tightly and held your gaze for longer than you thought usual.
When all three of you got home, your flatmate shouted at the top of her lungs “you and the Captain huh?! Practically undressing each other with your eyes!” You laugh and immediately feel your ears going red. You were stoked that someone else noticed because you thought it was all in your head, as it usually was.
You didn’t notice Soap put a hand out to stop her.
“Babe. Babe-” he says “don’t go there.”
Your heart tightens. Your flatmate puts her hands on her hips, confused and a little offended as if to say ‘I know what I saw.’
“It ain’t like that, the Captain is… Price is… Look, he’s married to the job.” Brows knitted, the jovial spirit replaced with seriousness, “we don’t sit around and talk about it but he ain’t the type to mess around.”
You play it off “we were just talking, it’s not a big deal.”
It hurts when Soap says “good, because he’s a lifer.”
You close the door to your bedroom and mull Soap’s words in your tormented mind. The fuzziness you felt replaced by emptiness.
Part of you willed it to be wrong, that you were the woman to pull the Captain out of his self fulfilling and self imposed prophecy. You almost laughed at your audacity.
“I can’t even get a text back, why would he be interested?” You stare at the ceiling, the alcohol left your system and the room was uncomfortably still.
——
“You like tha’, lass?” you hear Soap rasp, you’re not sure if he’s taking her from behind or if he’s on top of her. The faint slaps, skin on skin, indicate it’s either doggy or the standing position your flatmate had once whispered about. The loud moans indicate it’s good.
You don’t breathe. You just listen.
“Oh god, Johnny please!” Your flatmate whines, the force of his thrusts evident in her stuttering voice.
You close your eyes and see yourself with Soap under you, knees folded under his bulging arms, hips pistoning into you with ferocious need. You argue with yourself but then you quickly surrender and slip your hand into your knickers. You draw tight circles on your clit while your eyes burn with tears unfallen. Undiluted shame and need fills you. You breathe sharply through your nose and then hold your breath, staying as quiet as possible. Both of your hearts raced, thumping against your ribs.
“Tha’s it,” you hear his muffled voice grunt. You imagine his massive hand grasping your breast, your hand follows. Their bed frame groans but yours is silent. Your flatmate’s voice gets higher in pitch and she comes loudly, he grunts, swears, the mattress squeaks. You push two fingers into yourself and quickly find your spongy spot, electricity rolls through you.
You come undone shakily and silently, tears springing immediately from your eyes as you ride the wave of your orgasm. Your hand clasps across your mouth as you try to stem the noise of your sobs. You feel disgusted and disgusting. You wipe your eyes with your sleeves. You check your phone, no text from him. You manage to fall into a restless sleep.
——
One night, you and your flatmate encountered an asshole at the station.
“Nice bit of skirt, that.” He leers at your flatmate.
“Fuck off, you prick!” You shout back without breaking stride, not caring he was bigger than you. This confidence was new to you. Or was it anger?
When you arrived at the music venue, your flatmate told Soap what happened, you couldn’t hear them as the music was loud and you were at the bar. You could see the look of concern and regret on his face. He stormed over to you and he pulled you into a bear hug.
“Thanks for taking care of her,” he says to your temple. He releases you but keeps his arm around your shoulder as you wait at the bar, his weight is comforting and protective. He then helps you carry the drinks over.
He adds “I’m sorry Gaz and Cap couldn’t make it, paperwork.” You’d heard that one before but this time you gave yourself the benefit of believing it.
During the gig was a slow acoustic song that hit a little too close to home so you snuck out to the toilet to wait it out.
But you could still hear the music as you leaned against the stall and picked at your nails, doing breathing exercises you’d read about, through your tears.
——
You began to feel like the only man in your life. You even treated yourself to a massage because the touch deprivation reached a fever pitch.
You scroll through the website trying to find an available masseuse. Their headshots were small but you were on the lookout for a man with a thick neck and prominent traps, you knew the silhouette you were looking for. Your masseuse didn’t have a Mohawk but he was close enough that when you closed your eyes, his hands, his pressure and weight became Johnny’s.
——
You were invited again to a party with the squad, moods were good but there were hints of them being away for an extended mission. While you heeded what Soap said about Price, you wanted to know it from the horse's mouth. You bantered with the Captain, and he bantered back, at first. It turned to flirting and you playfully slapped his bicep, joking that you could drink him under the table, knowing well enough that you couldn’t. You ignored the looks from Gaz and Ghost - it’s like they knew something you didn’t. And they did.
You found yourself outside with Price. He’d asked only you to come outside, you felt giddy at the prospect of him wanting to be alone with you. He was smoking a cigar, you stared at the lit end, hoping it revealed some kind of secret you could finally be privy to.
It was cold outside, bitterly cold.
“You’re a lovely girl, y/n, you’re, smart, pretty, ballsy,” he says, almost to himself. You’re immediately familiar with the tone. What came next would hurt. Your breathing quickens and there’s a pit in your stomach.
“I’m not in a place where I can give you what you want, what you deserve, darlin’.”
The alcohol seemed to dissipate from your system. Rejection was one hell of a way to sober up. You look down at your shoes and chew your lip to stop it from trembling.
You knew better than to beg, to make compromises, to ask for a chance. Nothing would convince him. Maybe another woman could. But not me. So you turned to humour because it was safer than being vulnerable.
With wet eyes and a wobbly voice that you couldn’t hide, you say “so you think I’m pretty?”
He hits you with a look that you’ll never forget.
“In another life-“ he quietly began.
You cut him off, agreeing, “in another life.”
You both went indoors and you summoned a smile from the deepest recesses of your being. You left early that night.
——
It was with bated breath that you left your room ready for your date. You were in a beautiful outfit that did wonders for your confidence. You spun around a few times in the mirror.
Johnny was at the foot of the stairs and he looked at you with his big blue eyes, you’re sure you saw his pupils grow. Your phone buzzed but you ignored it because you enjoyed being under his gaze.
“Look at you! He’s a lucky lad!”
“Wait, let me see!” Your flatmate's voice came from the kitchen.
Your phone buzzed again. You pull it out to see a stream of texts from your date.
“Oh you look gorgeous, girl!” You barely hear your flatmate. Blood rushes to your ears.
You read out the text message.
“Sorry can’t make it, hungover lol.” You sound distant, as if it wasn’t related to you.
“Fucking prick.” Soap says with no hesitation.
“Y/n…. Babe.” Your flatmate pulls you into a hug but you’re limp and embarrassed.
“Fuck it, I’m going out anyway!” You exclaim, pretending to be okay you practically rush out of the door.
The door shuts behind you. You want to cry but you squeeze your eyes shut and start to walk towards the station. You don’t last long, your vision is wet and nose runny. You end up at a riverside cafe, watching the world go by without you. What a shitty year, you tell yourself.
——
You hear a hushed conversation a week before Soap is due to leave for a few weeks. You kept your headphones on and nodded at them when you walked past, giving them privacy.
You wish you could be in someone’s inner circle, but instead you were grateful you could float around theirs. You put a mental reminder in to take your flatmate to dinner while Soap was away and to keep her from watching the news.
——
“Turn it down!” You yell at your flatmate while you go to answer the door, the radio is on blast while you both cook.
Through the peephole you see the unmistakable beard of Captain Price.
“Oh John, hi!” You can’t hide that you’re happy to see him. But then you notice his grave expression.
“Hi love, sorry to come by unannounced,” he’s standing straighter and his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Is your flatmate around?”
“Yeh, come in.” Your stomach drops. You didn’t need to call out, your flatmate is already by the door.
“No,” she recognises the look.
“I’m so sorry, love.” Price says quietly.
“Oh god no!” She cries out and sobs, her entire body shakes.
You put your arms around her but your eyes are on Price, wet and unflinching, waiting for the confirmation of the news.
His blue eyes are overcast and tired, he nods and looks down.
“We’ll have to take you onto base if you wish to go through matters,” Price says quietly. You helped your flatmate get her coat on, understanding that you couldn’t go with her.
Price dropped her home later that night, you plated up some food for her but she couldn’t eat. You hugged each other on the sofa until one of you fell asleep first.
It felt like Soap would be bursting through the door with his infectious energy at any moment, but the silence was deafening.
——
You weren’t invited to the funeral as it was behind closed doors. You didn’t know what to do with yourself, you went from crying to intense panic attacks to bouts of guilt. You missed him, you missed his presence. You thought about the way his eyes would light up when you suggested shots at the pub, how he’d walked you both home and how safe you felt. Sure he wasn’t holding your hand but for a moment, you felt wanted, taken care of and significant. You felt terrible for mourning someone else’s partner so deeply and intimately.
Price came by a few times in the next few months, sometimes you were home, sometimes you weren’t. When your flatmate finally came out of her room, her eyes red and complexion weak, she would walk around the house like an apparition.
“I can’t do this without him!” She would plead, “I miss him so much.” You rubbed her back, silently wiping your tears, telling her you were sorry, over and over.
“John came by today, he sends his best.” She says.
“Bless him,” you say quietly, trying not to read too much into it, because all the meaning you longed for wouldn’t come.
“You never told me what happened with you both that night.” She asks, brows knitted in concern for you while her heart was shattered.
“Soap was right about him.” You said, “and that’s okay.” You breathed, hoping the more you said it the more you would believe it.
——
‘What cannot be said will be wept’ you read the quote over and over, you’d seen it online and it immediately brought Price into your mind.
His visits became less frequent, but he came by again to check in with your flatmate. He looked like he was carrying the world on his shoulders and you wanted nothing more than to pull him into an embrace and comfort him.
“Come in, she just got in the shower, want a tea while you wait?”
It had been 6 months since the news.
“How are you holding up?” Price asked.
“M’okay, trying to be there for her as best I can.”
“I know it isn’t easy for you either.” He said, “you’re doing good by her, you’re a good friend.”
Guilt and shame rushes through your system, you didn’t feel like a good friend.
“He was so good to her-” you start to sob, hands across your mouth, willing it to stay inside so you never have to confront how you really felt about him.
You’re surprised to be suddenly in his embrace. John consumes you, you’re completely surrounded by him. You grip his jacket, afraid to let go. His right hand rubbed your shoulder blades and his left hand held onto your waist tightly.
“I’m sorry love,” he whispered, “and I’m sorry I wasn’t good to you.”
“You don’t have to apologise for anything John, you haven’t done anything wrong.” You sounded throaty.
“I made you believe in something I couldn’t give you.” His voice is quiet, you feel it against his chest.
“In another life,” you manage to sob his phrase back to him, he can feel you inhaling hard, trying to catch your breath.
“Another life.” He says back, kissing your head.
“Take care of yourself, John” you say with a ragged voice looking straight into his eyes. You grab your bag and push past him out of the door. You can still see his sad eyes in your mind.
Immediately you regret leaving while he was still available and present. But then you think if he wanted to say more he’d have done so. Life is choices, he made his choice. And I wasn’t one of them. Your legs take you away from him, into the bitter cold.
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xaytheloser · 2 days
Text
The Prince in a Gilded Cage
characters: Dark Cacao Cookie, Dark Choco Cookie, Mystic Flour Cookie, Caramel Arrow Cookie Tw: manipulation, warping one's morality, isolation, kidnapping, my shit ass writing (while Mystic Flour Cookie's gender is unknown, I will be using she/her for them for this fic)
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"leave him be, in due time, he shall see that this is for the best." "..." "oh, come now, Dark Cacao Cookie... you do not wish to fail him like you did before... do you?" "...no. I do not." "that is what I thought, in order for your kingdom to prosper, some extremes are necessary to be made... your son may not understand now, but he will, in due time..." .... Dark Cacao had been having more frequent conversations with the Light of Resolution, at least.. that has what the ancient beast Mystic Flour Cookie had been disguising herself as.. the king had been placed under some form of.. possession, his morality and mind warping into a more twisted version of his former self.. "your kingdom is at risk, Dark Cacao Cookie.. listen to me... I shall guide you.." the king began pushing his workers to the brink of exhaustion, applying even more heavy layers of chocolate to the ever growing wall, not only did the king now demand that the wall strengthen in thickness, he demanded it's height to increase. now the wall nearly covered the entire citadel, casting it into a large looming shadow. perimeter checks around the citadel's borders become the regular, with soldiers being forced to track the harsh blizzard ridden territory for the slightest threat. the king also had a new objective, to find his son. the "Light of Resolution" stated the reason behind this as for him to... "make amends" with his lost son, and while Dark Cacao had thought about sending soldiers out for his son, he was hesitant until the Light of Resolution... persuaded him.. "you wish to make things right between the two of you?" "...yes, desperately so..." "hmph... then do it." .... "...father..?" the harsh wind howled through the air, Dark Cacao and his troops had trashed Dark Choco Cookie's camp site, his tent in shambles and belongings scatters throughout the site. the father and son stood and stared at each other, all while Mystic Flour did her work in warping the king's thoughts once more.. "you wish to make things right, correct? then make it right." "yes.. soldiers, restrain my son." "..what..?" Dark Cacao watched as his soldiers tackled his son to the ground, pinning him down without any second thought, all while the "Light of Resolution" whispered into his ear, "soon, you will have the happy family that you desire.." .... sweets, rainbow jellies, books, warm clothes, all the things that Dark Choco could desire, nothing could get the young prince out of his silent brooding state. his room was locked heavily, chains and padlocks covering his door, as to prevent his escape, his father even made sure to lock him up in the highest tower, without a window.. his father would visit him, bring him meals, and trying to get back even a semblance of normality between him and his son.. but Dark Choco talked about nothing than about his release. "father, I-" "it is out of the question, Dark Choco Cookie, you shall not be let out until it is safe for you.." "I am not a child, father, I do not need your protection, it was you who taught me to protect myself, now, you want me to stay here, only to follow your orders like some child..?" "...." his father never replied to his questions, shutting them down whenever he speak up, leaving his heavily guarded room, and locking him all by himself again. .... the cold winter wind howled outside, Dark Choco Cookie could not sleep, he did not wish to sleep.. he had to find out what was wrong with his father, he knew that.. something was wrong... *CLANK!* Dark Choco heard the locks to his room unlock, with a heavy creek of the door opening.. "...Caramel Arrow... Cookie..?" "my prince.. come with me.. I know that the king is not well.. I aim to help aid him.... will you assist me?" "..." ....
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hikarry · 1 day
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Do you ever think Aziraphale watches Ducktales and went he hears Scrooge speaks he is like "...wait!"
"Why were you watching cartoons anyway?"
"That's not the point, Crowley." Aziraphale points at the tv. "Listen." They both keep quiet as the animated wealthy duck speaks to his house keeper.
"So?"
"You don't hear it?"
"Hear what?"
Frustrated, Aziraphale huffs and grabs the tv remote, turning up the volume.
"It sounds exactly like you! But Scottish!"
"Ngk-" Crowley looks up at the ceiling, moving his hands nervously as he searches for the sunglasses on the side table without looking at it.
"Crowley?"
"Mhm." He finally finds the glasses and puts them on, getting up from the sofa. "Gotta go, angel. Fun evening but cartoons are not my-"
"Wait up!" Aziraphale holds him by the arm, stopping him from taking another step forward. "You are nervous." He feels the muscles under his fingers tense up. "You are! You are lying to me!" The angel gets up, ever without letting go of the arm, and walks until he is face to face with the demon. "What are you hiding."
"Mrgyeahknownothing."
"Crowley-!"
"It was just for fun!"
Both fall silent, looking at each other.
"...What?"
"You know I created Disney. Greed and controlling the minds of the young and whatnot." Crowley starts gesticulating quickly, ever without looking directly at Aziraphale. "And then they decided to remake Ducktales and I thought 'Oh, that show was popular back then. And I make a mean impression of Scrooge. I could spread evil through it!' so I maneuvered my way into voice acting with a bit of manipulation and schmoozing and whatever." He was talking very fast and hissing, as he did when he got agitated. "And there I ended up voice acting for 3 seasons - with evil intentions, obviously."
Aziraphale stared at him, mouth slightly open, completely dumbfounded. Crowley finally looked down at him. The angel couldn't see it, cause the sunglasses were pretty good at protecting him, but the demon was indeed nervous. He would never admit to it, but he was. Truly. He never thought Aziraphale would end up so bored he would watch cartoons, much less evil greedy Disney and not some old almost-forgotten relic like Betty Boop or something.
"You...voice act?"
"I voice acted. Once. For one character."
Slowly, a smile spread on Aziraphale's lips.
"Can you do the accent?"
"No."
"Crowley-"
"Absolutely not."
"My dear-"
"Never again."
The angel reached out, putting his hands on each of Crowley's cheeks, stopping him from talking.
"I am an adventurer, boys!" Aziraphale's scottish accent sucked. Badly.
Crowley put his hand over Aziraphale's mouth and pushed him slightly away, just enough for his hands to leave his face.
"Never, ever disrespect Scotland like that again."
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mixelation · 2 days
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oh here's some toxicity (reborn au au). it's torito u_u
In another world, the assurance that Itachi would never leave her behind would be enough for Tori. She would find it comforting. She would move on. 
In this world, she really didn’t see why violent revenge couldn’t be her solution. 
“If you’re so mad about it,” Obito drawled at her, “just kill him yourself.”
Obito had thrown himself lazily over the armchair in the corner of her room, right on top of a pair of pants and a sweater she’d worn once and wanted to wear again before she washed them. The chair didn’t match anything else in the room, but it was comfortable. Obito had put it there himself, rescued from an Uchiha elder’s house after they’d died. 
(Of natural causes, he’d assured her.)
He was the primary person who ever sat in it, besides Tori’s laundry. He did it with the lazy decadence of a king in his throne. 
Tori, cross-legged on her bed, pouted back at him. The point wasn’t really that someone killed that guy. It was the intense loyalty the act would mean for her. Had Obito and Minato not both slaughtered absurd numbers of people in an act of love? She wanted that. She wanted someone who liked her like that. 
Would it be bad to break up with her fake-boyfriend if he wouldn’t real-murder for her…?
She had no idea how to explain all this to Obito without sounding completely unhinged. Instead she said, “I’d kill someone for Itachi.”
“No, you wouldn’t,” Obito countered immediately. 
“I killed Danzo for him,” Tori said. 
“No,” Obito said, rolling his ankle in the air. He twirled a finger at her. “You convinced Danzo to do something stupid that got him killed because you get off on leading people to their doom.”
Tori pouted some more. 
“I’m glad sensei backed you up,” Obito said eventually, carefully not looking directly at her. His legs were over one arm of the chair, and he rolled an ankle in a loose circle. “You’re okay, right? Besides your unquenchable thirst for vengeance?” 
A sly smile cracked over Tori’s lips. He had shown up the second she was finally in her own home. 
“Aaaw,” she cooed. “Were you worried about me?”
Obito rolled his eyes and finally looked at her. “I just think if you get any more traumatized, you might actually figure out how to destroy the world. It’s the natural escalation of things.”
“You would know,” Tori replied. She unfolded her legs and scooted forward to sit on the edge of the bed closest to him. “Hey, Itachi spent the night the first night.”
Obito frowned at her. “What, you need a babysitter?”
“You could sit outside on the balcony like a gargoyle,” Tori replied. “Bark at passers by. You know.”
“Oooh,” Obito replied, dipping his head back as he leaned into the joke. “Oh, yeah, I could guard the whole apartment. My poor partner was traumatized, after all. I’ll keep anyone from coming in and bothering you. I’ll set up traps and chase your neighbors off. Maybe put up a blockade in the road.”
“Deidara will love this,” Tori said. 
“Deidara is one of the people I’m chasing away,” Obito replied smartly. 
They joked. They talked about silly, unimportant things. Tori watched Obito intently as they chatted. She liked seeing him like this, she thought. Obito was fun when he was relaxed and just fucking around. 
He looked good too, she decided. She missed the mask, but Obito definitely had a nice face. He had the pretty Uchiha cheekbones and a strong jaw, and the messy dark hair worked on him. Plus, he was tall and broad-shouldered and well-muscled and… hmm. 
Hmm. 
Obito started absentmindedly doing little kicks with his feet like a school girl while he groused about how much of the block he could get Deidara to blow up, just by being annoying. 
Tori decided to change her strategy. 
xXx
“I decided I want to break up,” Tori told Itachi. 
“Oh,” Itachi said, frowning down at her. “Why? I’m amenable to making changes.”
Tori shook her head. 
“I don’t mind helping you, or hanging out with you on dates,” she said. “But I realized this arrangement means I can’t pursue my own romantic interests.”
“Ah,” Itachi said. “I didn’t realize you had those.”
Neither did I, Tori thought. 
She nodded and waited to see if Itachi would say more. Maybe he would offer to murder or beat up the person she was interested in. That might make her stay. 
“I suppose that’s reasonable,” Itachi said after a beat. “Thank you for helping me. Would you mind if I said I was too heartbroken to date for a while?”
“Um,” Tori replied. “Maybe we should say we decided we’d be better as friends so we don’t mess that up, and you can say you want time to think about what you want out of a dating partner.” 
Itachi nodded thoughtfully and continued to not offer to kill for her. 
Oh well. She tried. 
xXx
When Obito jimmied open her window, Tori looked up from her desk like she’d been expecting him. Which, she probably was. Obito loved gossip. 
He flopped directly from the window sill into his chair and steepled his fingers. 
“So,” he said. He leered at her, lips pulling back from his teeth. “Did you break Itachi’s heart? Did he break yours? Tell me everything.”
Tori rolled her eyes and pushed her chair back from her desk. Instead of the usual sweatpants she preferred when just sitting around her room, she was wearing one of her little sundresses. She brushed her hair over her shoulder as she eyed him. 
“I decided I might want to pursue my own interests,” she said bluntly. 
Obito raised his eyebrows. “Oh yeah?” he said. “Found some other sucker to sic on your enemies? Teenaged romances are so dramatic nowadays.”
Tori stood.
“I think that’s part of the problem,” she said. “I’m not really a teenager, am I?”
She ran her hands through the signs for a henge, and then a twenty year old Tori was standing in front of him. It was a better aging up than most teens could manage– Tori, after all, had once been physically an adult. She knew the subtleties of her own face and how her body would change with age. 
“Interesting strategy,” Obito said, unsure where this was going. Was she planning to use a henge to seduce someone older? Was Itachi about to lose to some two-bit chump who liked women in short skirts just because they’d agree to murder some other two-bit chump for Tori? That would be hilarious. 
Tori took a step towards him, and then another. She got close enough that the hem of her skirt brushed against his knee, and Obito suddenly realized that Tori’s skirt was quite short, wasn’t it?
“I decided I wanted to pursue more… adult interests,” Tori said, and then suddenly she was in his lap. 
“Wait,” Obito said, voice cracking. “Tori, what are you doing?”
Her hand went over his chin, her thumb and fingers squeezing his cheeks. Obito found this did alarming things to his insides. 
“Have I told you how much prettier your face is than it should be?” Tori said. Her thumb moved up and down his right cheek. “How about you let me mess it up again, and I’ll help you put your eye in Kakashi’s head?”
“What?” Obito full-on squeaked. 
He could overpower her and push her off. He didn’t. He felt frozen, transfixed by her eyes, dark and heavy as she looked at him. 
His heart pounded away in his chest. This was ridiculous, though. This was just Tori. She was probably angling to trick him into letting her store lab supplies in kamui or something. 
Then why the henge? He thought. Tori wasn’t above flirting to get what she wanted, but it was rarely her first choice strategy. He had no idea why it would be her strategy with him. 
The henge is the problem, he decided, hands sweaty. Sixteen year old Tori wasn’t hot. She just wasn’t; she was a teenager. He didn’t… he didn’t remember ever thinking adult Tori was all that hot either, but she’d never crawled into his lap. Maybe it was just the nostalgia this was calling up for him. Or maybe any pretty woman could get this reaction out of him. 
Pretty? No, fuck– well. Either way. He could just get rid of the henge. 
“No, stop that,” Tori said when he activated his sharingan. Her hand immediately went over his eyes. This did even more alarming things to his insides. 
“Oh, because the sharingan is so easily stopped,” Obito heard himself drawl back at her. 
His hands were gripping the arms of his chair instead of stopping her. This was bad. Many abilities of the sharingan could not be stopped simply by covering it, but covering it sure did stop him from seeing unsexy, henge-free Tori. 
He felt her shift, leaning forward. Her hair tickled his cheek and he could feel the heat of her body on his skin. When she spoke, he felt her breath on his lips. 
“Then stop me, if you want to,” she said. 
Obito gripped the chair harder. Tori shifted again, her hand staying over his eyes. She pressed her lips against his. 
I am going to stop this, Obito thought, and then instead kissed her back. 
Obito had only ever kissed Rin before, which had been weird and also terrible. This was also weird and terrible, but in a way where he didn’t want it to stop. Tori was familiar. She knew about the absolute darkest parts of him, and he wasn’t entirely convinced she wouldn’t murder him if given the chance. But she did know him, from his favorite bad jokes to his stint as a super villain. 
She broke the kiss first. 
“Are you going to be a good boy now?” she asked. 
It was embarrassing that he found her wording hot. 
“For you? Always,” he replied. 
She removed her hand from his eyes. He deactivated the sharingan, studying her face. He set his hands and her hips and then trailed them up her waist, and he watched as she bit her bottom lip in response. He liked that. 
There was no way she was doing this if she didn’t want something. Unfortunately, her method had worked in that he did now very much want to give it to her. But what would Tori want…?
“So you want that guy killed?” Obito asked. 
Tori’s eyes lit up. It was… extremely cute. Fuck.
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lilyisclueless · 5 hours
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When they realize they're in love - Gojo Satoru
How I imagine the boys get hit with the realization that they love you. Satoru's turn
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x reader
Tags: Fluff, that's about it
-
He isn’t sure when the two of you got as close as you did. He’s known you for years, being one of the first ones to greet you when you transferred from Kyoto to be a teacher here, and ever since it’s been a gradual growth. It was a steady growth, but so slow that by the time he picked up on the fact the two of you were close friends, his only option was to accept that after years of goofing around and not allowing anyone close, he’s finally made another friend. A serious friend; not just another comrade putting up with him.
That realization happened a few years ago. It was a surprise but he accepted it. Since then the two of you have grown even closer. He’s grown to admire you, and you’re one of the very, very few people that he had any ounce of respect for. It wasn’t like you were incredibly strong, although you definitely could hold your own, so he wasn’t sure why.
Maybe it was the way you understood his ideals, how you wholeheartedly supported them and defended him. When he had told you that he wanted to let the vessel of Sukana live, you immediately agreed to vouch for him. You didn’t question him, didn’t ask if he lost his mind. You didn’t make a face or doubt him. He didn’t have to convince you. When he asked why you were so quick to agree, you smiled up at him and told him that you trusted his judgment completely, and if he was wrong about Itadori; you trusted he would deal with him.
That had left a weird fuzzy feeling in his chest he couldn’t shake off for the next couple days.
Maybe the admiration came from how you took care of the students. You care about them the same way a mother would about their children. You would surprise them with sweets and gifts, always making sure everyone got their favorite. If they needed someone to talk to, you were the one they went to. He’ll never forget the way you broke down when he had to break the news that Itadori had died. That was the first time he held you in his arms, and if he didn’t want to kill the higher-ups before, he certainly did then when he was feeling you fall to pieces between his fingers.
Naturally, he didn’t hide it from you when he woke up. Maybe it was the fear of what happened with a certain someone in the past, but his soul didn’t feel at ease until he saw the way you melted in relief at seeing their student standing again.
Or maybe it was the way you matched his energy. Or the way you can soothe his emotions with ease. Maybe because you could take his jokes, and throw them right back at him. Or how you weren’t afraid to goof off, claiming the world was too bleak to be so serious all the time. Sometimes you would have to rein him back in, but only when he needed it.
There were a lot of reasons for him to respect and admire you, but none of them felt quite right when he asked himself why.
“I know I’m always telling you to shut up, but it’s weird when you actually do it,” you speak up, breaking his line of thoughts. He glances down at you, the two of you walking side by side to find a soda machine. It was rare for the two of you to go out for any other reason than a mission or supervise the kids, but today was the rare exception. He glanced down at your outfit, and he couldn’t help but think you looked cute, but you spoke up again before he could dwell on that, “What’s on your mind?”
His smile twitches, the corner of his lips tugging into a playful smile. He looks away from you, staring straight ahead as he hums in thought at your question. You could barely see his blue eyes peak from over his sunglasses, but you definitely could make out the teasing glint in them.
“I’m just wondering why a girl like you chooses to spend her time with a guy like me.” You felt your cheek grow a little warm, and you’re quick to look away with a nervous chuckle. Where was he going with this? “After all, I’m the strongest and you’re the weakest. How are we supposed to-“
He’s cut off with a small ‘oof’ when you give his shoulder a playful punch, completely throwing him off guard. You hadn’t moved your body to indicate you were planning on trying to hit him, simply swung your arm straight to the side.
He stopped walking then, rubbing at the spot you’d hit him. Not because it hurt, he was Gojo Satoru after all. He could handle a little punch that held no real intent behind it. No, because he was shocked you actually managed to hit him.
He’s allowed you to touch him before of course, so you don’t realize how significant that moment was. Because every time you’ve touched him in the past, he’s allowed it. He’s put his infinity down purposely. This time? You simply skipped through. He felt the moment your hand touched it and simply kept going.
The last person who could ever do that was…
You stopped moving, shuffling to face him with a curious expression on your face. He could still see a hint of red on your cheeks, and you tilted your head to the side to raise an eyebrow at him. “Don’t tell me I wounded you with that little punch? Who’s the strongest one now?”
He wishes his heart would stop pounding in his chest. He can’t remember the last time he’s felt flustered. He forced himself to resume his walking, purposely reaching down and ruffling your hair when he walked past you. As he expected, you immediately start complaining and become distracted trying to put those pretty strands back into place.
His long strides put him a good distance away, and he laughs when you have to jog to catch up. The two of you fall into a playful banter, which eventually trailed off to a comfortable silence.
No wonder it didn’t feel right to say he respected and admired you for all that you do. He respected and admired you because he loves you.
He wonders when he fell in love with you, but he has a feeling it was just like their friendship - so gradual that he’ll never be able to pinpoint it. That’s okay though. He’s tired of taking it slow with you. Soon, he decides, he's going to take you on a date.
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lucienarcheron · 18 hours
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Spirit Meets the Bones - XVIII
Genre: Angst/Romance Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse.
shoutout always goes to @abruisedmuse for letting me ramble about my babies.
tagging: @climb-the-mountian @vanserrass @zenkindoflove @animezinglife @readthelastpaage @positivewitch @clockwork-ashes @carolynmezzosoprano @carnythian @runningwiththeoceans @readychilledwine @goldenmagnolias @thedarkinmansfield @mali22 @maidr-00 @electromagnetic-waves @devilsfoodcake22 @moonfawnx @weesablackbeak @ladywhilemia @alohaangels @moobell55 @bibliophiliaxvignette @easchies @feysandfeels @thelovelymadone @corcracrow @dawneternal @teddyhoneybear @sinnerrsworld @gracie-rosee @queenoftheworld1998
Find it all here.
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Lucien stood across from his brother in the open field by his home, Elain’s garden a beautiful backdrop behind them as he waved his hands towards Eris. 
“Care to explain what the hell that was about?” Lucien asked, bewildered.
Eris only snarled and paced past his brother. He needed an outlet, not questions. He needed a moment because he was making a downright fool of himself.
“What is the matter with you?” Lucien demanded, brows raised high as Eris paused and glared at him.
“I need to hit something.” he spat and resumed his pacing as Lucien eyed him in confusion. 
“Excuse me?”
Eris paused his frantic pacing and then squinted at his brother. “You. Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes. I am your older brother, you are obligated to listen to me.”
“The only thing I am obligated to do is mildly tolerate you.” Lucien replied with a snort. “Which I’m barely doing as it is. I am not going to be your punching bag because you won’t deal with whatever it is you’re feeling.”
Eris narrowed his eyes, hands twitching at his sides. Never mind there was dried blood on one. The hand that Iris had wanted — he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 
Fucking ridiculous.
“Fine.” Eris said and squared his shoulders. “I will allow you to punch me first so then I can hit you after.”
Lucien rolled his eyes. “No. Elain said no fighting before you came. I know you’re used to your wife being mad at you but I can’t sleep if Elain’s upset with me.”
Eris immediately tensed. “Don’t talk about my wife.”
Lucien blinked then slowly grinned. “Oh.” he said. “I see.”
“See what?” Eris snapped.
Lucien’s grin widened and he rubbed his hands together. “Gods, I’ve been waiting for this moment.” he cackled. “You’re being such a little bitch right now, I knew this would happen.”
Eris growled then slid a hand down his face before his hands clenched into fists. “Oh fuck right off, alright?” he snarled. “Don’t say a word.”
“A word about what? Your wife?”
“Lucien.” he snarled in warning. 
“All I said were the words ‘your wife’. I haven’t actually said anything about Iris.” Lucien said calmly, watching his brother and mustering the most innocent of expressions. 
“Lucien.”
Lucien’s lips twitched and he held up his hands as he waited silently. 
After a few tense moments, Eris finally mumbled, “We had a moment.” 
“Did you now?” Lucien asked in an amused tone that Eris did not appreciate.
“We had a moment and —,”  he grumbled quietly then sighed and ran a hand through his hair once more. “We would’ve had another moment if you hadn’t interrupted — we had a moment and — and things happened.”
Lucien blinked and slowly put a hand on Eris’ shoulder with a look that had Eris immediately regretting ever opening his mouth.
“Brother dearest,” Lucien began in a sympathetic tone that was as fake as it gets. “Has it been so long since you’ve had an erection that you forgot what it feels like?”
Eris snarled and finally swung at his brother but Lucien ducked with a laugh. 
“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” he said and Eris settled for shoving him with a glare then resumed his pacing. “This is serious then.”
“This is very serious.”
“I see.” Lucien said and held out his hands again. “I’m sorry. I won’t make fun. Talk to me.”
Eris scowled, warily watching his brother then resumed his silent pacing.
After a few moments, Lucien sighed. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what the issue is, Eris.”
It took Eris a few more moments of silent pacing before he finally ran his fingers through his hair again, took a deep breath then sighed. “Aside from my erection,” he said with a glare at his brother. “It — something — it has never felt like that before.”
Lucien nodded knowingly. “That’s because you like her.” 
“I have liked other females!”
“Yes, but as we’ve said before, you like her and she’s your wife. It’s different.”
Eris rolled his eyes up to the sky and then huffed, pacing once more. Lucien had no idea just how different this was. 
But did he tell Lucien? He hadn’t discussed it with Iris yet —  he wasn’t even sure if she knew.  Had she picked up on it or was this another thing he was shoving at her? She’d already been forced to marry him. How would she take it if she knew he was her mate? Knowing how he was. Who he was. He had told her once that he wouldn’t shackle her to him if she wanted out but…would he still be able to let her go if that was what she truly wanted? When she was his and he was hers in a way that trumped everything else? 
He glanced at Lucien who stood with his arms crossed, calmly watching him. Though Eris was annoyed by the mild amusement on his brother’s face, it gave him pause. If there was anyone who had been hit on the head with a mate, it had been his brother. Lucien would understand.
Eris grimaced, letting it fall silent for a few minutes as Lucien watched him. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, the sound of laughter stopped him and the brothers turned to glance at their wives strolling towards the garden. He watched as Iris walked with Elain, smiling, and he had a very strong urge to stab himself.  
“In all honesty, I never thought this would happen.” he finally said, turning back to Lucien with a frown. “I never thought anyone would be…enough to be what she is to me right now.”
Lucien shook his head with a snort. “You are so fucken full of yourself.” he replied and pointed. “Iris is a much nicer person than you are.”
Eris snorted. “You say that but you haven’t heard the way she threatens me.”
“Do you deserve those threats?”
Eris pursed his lips, trying not to think of the strangest sense of delight he felt whenever she did point a blade at him. “Not always.”
Lucien gave him a knowing look. “You definitely deserved them,” he confirmed, then shook his head. “Despite this arrogant and very stupid belief of yours, you aren’t above everyone else, Eris.”
“That’s not — I meant that I would be enough to have something like this happen.” he seethed and Lucien quirked a brow. 
“Marriage was bound to happen,” Lucien replied mildly. “You knew this was coming at some point.”
“Okay, but I didn’t ask for this.” Eris hissed, pointing towards the gardens where his — his whatever walked. “Do you know how much harder this will make everything? How much worse?”
This seemed to finally get Lucien to sober up, his expression turning serious. “What do you mean?”
And it was as Eris stared at Lucien, the weight of his discovery today fell on him like a ton of bricks and his expression fell. 
If his father found out…she lived inside the court with him. In very close proximity to the High Lord. Eris swallowed. Their situation was far from ideal and it was taking everything in him to make it work. To keep it easy. To keep Iris safe. His father would wield the mating bond against him in ways Eris couldn’t even begin to imagine. It could go very badly.
“Eris?”
Eris glanced at his brother and slowly moved, until he stood directly in front of him, his expression lethally calm.
“I need to know what I tell you will not be told to a soul. Elain is the only exception and only when I give you permission.” he commanded and Lucien’s brows furrowed.��
“Okay.”
“No one, Lucien.”
“You have my word.”
Eris swallowed and assessed his brother. He never would’ve dreamed of this moment. 
“If I ever need to send Iris to you, tell me she would be safe here.” he said quietly. “Promise me that she will not be in harm's way.”
Lucien tilted his head, turning to briefly glance towards the gardens once more, where Elain and Iris were whispering together, giggling at something they couldn’t hear. “Your wife will always have a place here, Eris. Why?” he asked and Eris licked his lips, bracing himself to say the words that hadn’t left his mouth yet.
His head turned, finding Iris seated among the flowers. It took him a moment but finally, after a breath, he whispered, “She’s...my mate.” 
Eris felt Lucien stiffen and turned to find his brother blinking rapidly. A beat of silence passed then his brother spoke.
“Fuck.”
“I know.”
“Holy shit.”
“I know.”
“That...shit.”
“You’re only verbalizing what’s been going on in my head since I found out.” Eris said and watched Lucien’s expression shift from shock to amusement.
“When did you find out?”
“Five minutes before you ungraciously interrupted us.”
Lucien went silent for a few moments as Eris stood tensely across from him, then shook his head and huffed out a laugh. “Wait — wait. I’m sorry.” he began then let out another laugh. “You.”
Eris immediately scowled. “Yes?”
“You — you, who had refused to marry for so long.” Lucien started and Eris’s scowl deepened. 
“And?”
“You literally threw a tantrum when fa — your father told you to get married.”
Eris rolled his eyes. “I didn’t throw a tantrum.” he grumbled and Lucien let out another laugh.
“You sat in my kitchen and blacked out from drinking.”
Eris waved a hand with a growl. “Your point?”
“Mister ‘I don’t want a wife, no female is good enough for me’,” Lucien continued with a grin. “You, who won’t even admit to liking his dogs enough —”
“— I don’t see the point of what you’re saying —”
Lucien gave his brother an incredulous look that Eris did not appreciate. “Do you realize how emotionally constipated you are? How emotionally constipated you’ve always been?” Lucien said and finally, let out a loud laugh. “Oh gods. This is amazing.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Eris snarled. “This is serious.”
“Oh my gods. You have so many feelings you don’t even know what to do with yourself.” Lucien went on with a cackle. “You barely had it together when she was just your wife!”
“I know!” Eris snapped and waved a hand. “Do you see my problem now?!”
“Oh…oh I see.” Lucien said and at the murderous look in Eris’s eyes, said nothing else, his lips only twitching. 
Eris said nothing as well, seething at Lucien’s reaction.
“This is not funny.” he said forcefully. “I am constantly thinking about throwing myself off the highest building. Now I definitely want to.”
“Oh, I bet.” Lucien replied with a wide grin. “This is fucken hilarious. She touched your thigh and you broke a glass. It’s all over my floor.”
“Lucien.” Eris snarled and Lucien finally held his hands up, clearing his throat.
“Right. I’m sorry.” his brother said. “I had to get that out of my system.”
Eris only glared at him and watched Lucien’s lips twitch again. 
“You’re the fucken worst.” Eris finally mumbled and Lucien let out a low chuckle.
“Yet, you told me first.” he replied smugly and Eris rolled his eyes. “Besides, this calmed you down without resorting to violence.”
Eris blinked. This asshole.
“Violence is still very much on the table.” Eris grumbled and hated to admit that maybe, just maybe, Lucien was right. He was somewhat…less on edge. Maybe. Slightly. 
The corner of Lucien’s mouth ticked up. “Overwhelming, isn’t it?”
“I want to kill myself.” 
“You’re so dramatic, dear gods.” his brother said and Eris scowled when Lucien shoved his shoulder gently. “Listen closely — pay attention to what I’m going to say to you.”
Eris grimaced as Lucien placed both hands on his shoulders and met his gaze. “I’m uncomfortable.”
“I said listen and shut the fuck up.”
“That is rude.”
“You love the sound of your own voice and I personally hate it.”
“Fuck you.”
“Thank you.” Lucien said and patted Eris’s shoulder aggressively. “Now listen. This is a good thing.”
“No, it’s not.” Eris said immediately. “This is terrible. I already care too much. This is so much worse.” 
“It is not. Iris is good for you and you are good for her.”  Lucien said calmly. “I’ve watched how you’ve changed since she came into your life. You had no joy until she showed up and it’s made a difference in you.”
“I also have a lot more stress.” he muttered and Lucien chuckled.
“That’s because you’re an idiot.” Lucien said and Eris resisted the urge to flip him off as he continued. “You’ve needed something real like this for as long as I’ve known you and this is as real as it gets.”
“But —”
“She challenges you and settles you all at once.” his brother said and Eris swallowed. “She is your person and she is real. This is real.”
Eris grimaced again and looked away from his brother towards the garden again, where his wife — his mate was. “My father will make this so much worse.”
Lucien stepped back and gave Eris a look. “Are you going to let him?” he asked and Eris snapped his gaze to his brother, hot anger flaring in his chest and before he could control himself, his fire erupted around him, every part of him aflame. 
“I will kill him if he so much as looks at her wrong.” his words were guttural, so angry he could barely get them out. “I will skin him alive. I will make up for everything he has ever done to me and mother if he so much as —”
Lucien held up a hand with a small smile. “Exactly. So calm down.” he said gently. “She’s safe with you.” 
Eris blinked, the fire around him dampening and he let out a breath, running a hand through his hair as flame licked his skin. He shook his head and began his pacing once more. “Is that enough? I don’t — I won’t put anything past him if he finds out. I’ve seen what he does to people. I know what he does.”
“Then he doesn’t find out.” Lucien said firmly. “I assume your other brothers have had zero interaction with her?”
Eris waved a hand. “They have asked but I haven’t allowed it. You know how they are. They stay out of my way until needed.” he said. “But father…”
Lucien nodded then shrugged. “What is going to give it away? Your scents? You’re married, no one will think twice.”
“He already knows I like her too much.” 
“You’re good at pretending. So is Iris from what you’ve told me.” Lucien said and gave him a pointed look. “Keep pretending until you don’t have to.”
Eris nodded slowly even though this type of pretending would be excruciatingly different from anything else he had to do before. He ran his tongue over his teeth and took a deep breath, his fire disappearing. He hesitated for a heartbeat then said, “She doesn’t know.”
Lucien froze, his eyes widening. “What?”
Eris swallowed then shook his head. “I don’t think she knows. I — we — I haven’t asked her yet.” 
Lucien shook his head, shoving Eris away from him, and pointed sternly. “You shouldn’t have told me until you told her.”
“You pulled me aside and asked me what was wrong.” Eris snarled. “This — this is what’s wrong.”
Lucien’s lips thinned. “Eris —”
“I don’t know what to do or — or how to behave.” he swore. “I didn’t ask for this and she sure as shit didn’t either.”
“That’s the funny thing about mates…neither of you really ask for it.” Lucien said gently and Eris groaned.
“And what if she doesn’t want this?” Eris asked, trying and failing to hide the hint of desperation in his tone. What if she doesn’t want me that way?  “What then?”
Lucien’s expression softened and he nudged Eris. “I think you’ll find that being married helps ease that concern,” he said calmly. “You’ve managed to figure things out so far. You just need to tell her and go from there.”
Eris grunted and shook his head. “This is more than she bargained for. She’s barely begun to like me.”
Lucien rolled his eyes. “From my perspective, a person who has only seen you two interact with each other for a few hours, I don’t think you should be as concerned as you are right now,” he said. “Just talk to her. And tell her you told me.”
Telling her would be fine. He would tell her. Of course, he would. But…they couldn’t — shouldn’t tell anyone else.
It would be fine. This was just an overwhelming moment. It would be fine.
He sighed and for once, just this once, let his true feelings spill from his lips. “I’m so fucken tired of pretending.” He rubbed his face and said through gritted teeth. “I can’t — I can’t even be happy about this. All I am is stressed. I’m exhausted.”
Lucien’s mouth tightened into a thin line. “I know.” he said quietly.
He shook his head and let it fall back, his gaze at the open sky. “I’ve been on the edge for so long.” he said quietly. “Her father came for a visit today and I beat the living shit out of him. I would’ve killed him had Iris not stopped me.”
“Did he deserve it?” Lucien asked and Eris glanced at his brother, at the hard gaze full of understanding. Eris didn’t have to explain what kind of creature Iris’s father was. 
“More than.” he replied. “But I haven’t lost control in so long…I suppose it makes sense given what I know now.”
“Do you think your father will have a problem with it?” 
Eris shrugged. “We’ll have to see when I get back, won’t we.”
“Eris…” Lucien started but Eris shook his head and it fell silent between them.
He closed his eyes and thought of anything but his father. He thought of his mother finding her spark again. He thought of his hounds. He thought of the brother standing next to him and his sister-in-law who cared for him. Most importantly, he thought of his wife and the way she trusted him. How she smiled for him and what that smile did to him. 
Even if he didn’t deserve an ounce of happiness, he was allowed a moment. A day to be happy with his wife. To guard his little secret as close to his shredded heart as much as he could.
“I won’t let him find out.” He swore quietly, straightening.
“No, you won’t.”
Eris licked his lips, his gaze falling back to the house. “And if he does?”
“Then maybe it’s time the Autumn Court finally gets a new high lord.” Lucien said simply, his gaze hardening. “It’s been long overdue.”
Eris gazed at his brother carefully. “That is easier said than done.” he said then looked away, with a shake of his head. “Besides, you know that move is not mine.”
Lucien shrugged. “When the time comes, it doesn’t matter who makes the move. It matters that it’s done. You owe him a taste.”
Eris closed his eyes, trying not to let the image of his sword lodged in his father’s throat linger for too long. After a quiet moment, he asked, “Until then?” 
“My home will always be a safe space for Iris and you.” Lucien said gently. “You know Beron would never dare come here.”
Eris swallowed and nodded again. It would be fine. It wouldn’t need to come to this but a plan never hurts.
Lucien gave Eris one more look then turned to face his home, his eyes on the distant figures of his wife and sister-in-law. “Things will be fine.” his brother said calmly. “You have me. I’m here.”
“Albeit unwillingly?” Eris said, the corner of his mouth lifting, and Lucien chuckled.
“Obviously. I can’t stand you.” 
Eris rolled his eyes and turned his gaze to where Lucien looked. They were too far to see clearly but Eris…he felt Iris. He felt a tug of joy at his ribcage. Something that would certainly take getting used to.
Then again he had always felt that pull towards her. Now, he knew what it meant. 
Lucien slid his hands in his pockets with a small smile and said, “Elain says your wife is amazing and she’ll rip your throat out if you upset her.”
Eris snorted. “She’ll rip my throat out herself, no worries.” 
“She also said we should come back.” Lucien added and spared Eris one more knowing glance. “Will you be able to handle yourself or should I expect more shattered glass on my floor?”
Eris shot his brother a dirty look and refused to feel embarrassed. He would not flush. “Fuck off.”
Lucien only chuckled. 
~
Iris looked up as she sensed Eris approaching. Her gaze had found him constantly as she and Elain explored outside; like a thread being pulled. She couldn’t help herself. She almost felt guilty about it but then she noted the anger radiating off him. The way his fire had erupted around him again and it made her nervous. She wasn’t sure if she was the cause. 
She wasn’t sure exactly how to feel at the moment. Excited? Overwhelmed? Nervous? Today had certainly been a lot but — but he seemed fine before they came here. She pursed her lips and then let her gaze fall back to the sweet little bunny in her lap that had twitched when her petting had stopped. She gave it a small smile, hugging it closer to her, and looked up once more to watch him walk closer.
Iris teased him with Lucien and while Lucien was handsome in his own right, Eris…she absolutely hated how embarrassed she felt to even admit it to herself but my, oh my, did Eris look handsome beneath the bright sunlight. Her husband’s stupid confidence alone made her want to — 
“You are staring awfully hard.”
Iris blinked, her focus still on Eris, her gaze sliding down to his hand where the simple gold ring glinted there. She had never given any mind to their wedding bands. Only really wore her own gold band because that was what they were supposed to do but — but the weight of it definitely felt different on her finger now.
“Hm?” she finally replied, tilting her head towards Elain with her eyes still on her husband. 
Elain’s giggle filled the open space as her sister-in-law said, “I daresay, I hope the two of you wait until Lucien and I are inside at least.”
Iris blinked again, hearing what Elain said, and flushed deeply. “I beg your pardon?”
“The grass can add a nice touch to the sensation.”
Iris whirled to glance at her sister-in-law in shock, which only made Elain laugh.
“I’m teasing!”
“Sure sounds like you’re speaking from experience.” Iris muttered and tried not to think about what laying in an open field with Eris would feel like. She didn’t need the image of his body over hers, touching her in ways she hadn’t been touched before. She didn’t need to think about his wretched mouth and how it would feel all over her skin. Iris wondered how it would feel to have him on his back and do all the things she’d only heard about through whispers. Her body heated as she tried very hard not to think about it. Eris would be so smug about it if he found out.
She squinted at the sly smile that bloomed on Elain’s face.
“Indeed.” Elain replied and was silent for a moment before that sly smile turned into a grin and Iris already knew whatever she said would be something she wasn’t ready for. “Did you ever hear the saying that not only do the Autumn Court males have fire in their blood but, they —” Elain lowered her voice and choked out with a giggle, “fuck — like it too?”
“No.” Iris choked out, flushing from head to toe. This conversation had taken a turn she was not prepared for. She did not want to start thinking about Eris and what fucking him would be like. She did not want to think about that at all. “Where did you even hear such a thing?”
“My sister Feyre mentioned it once.” Elain said, feeding her little bunny then met Iris’s gaze with a grin, even while blushing. “I’ve tested that theory. It is very true.”
Iris shot up, clutching the bunny in her arms tighter, her face heated. “Elain.” 
Her sister-in-law only laughed harder and Iris wanted to throttle her. It took Elain a good minute to stop laughing at Iris’s expression when she finally said, “I never used to be like this. I was too proper of a lady to ever bring up such subjects.”
“Clearly something traumatic happened.” Iris said dryly. 
“Oh yes,” she replied with a smile. “I met Lucien.”
“Traumatic indeed.”
“What’s traumatic?” Lucien asked as the brothers finally stopped before them. 
“Meeting you.” Elain replied brightly and Lucien blinked then rolled his eyes.
“Ah, yes. So traumatic for you.” he said dully, waving an arm to their beautiful surroundings as both girls laughed.
“Can’t say the day I met your brother wasn’t also traumatic.” Iris said, shooting her husband a look, her stupid heart skipping a beat when he met her gaze.
“Funny you should say that when I was the one who had a chair thrown at him.” Eris said with a snort, his eyes locked on her and Iris could feel the way he cataloged every inch of her.
Iris rolled her eyes, her cheeks blushing lightly, and looked at Elain. “He’s never going to let that go.”
“Threatened with my own dagger.” Eris continued conversationally.
“It slipped into my hand honestly.” she said with a shrug and a look full of innocence to Lucien who grinned.
“Something about these Autumn Court boys.” Elain added, gesturing towards the brothers and glancing at Iris. “It screams emotional instability.” 
“I personally feel like we should be financially compensated for these unions.” Iris teased and Eris narrowed his gaze on her.
“Wife.”
She couldn’t help laughing again at his indignant tone. “Husband?”
He rolled his eyes but Iris didn’t miss the way the corner of his mouth lifted slightly. Her eyes flickered down to the bunny still in her hands then back up to him before casually taking a step toward him as Eris took a step towards her but Lucien cleared his throat, and they both froze in place.
“Elain, my love?” Lucien said, his lips twitching as he looked at his wife and he held out his arm. “We should get the table ready, no?”
Elain blinked then jumped right up, taking her husband’s arm. “Oh, yes. We definitely should,” she said quickly then grinned at Eris and Iris. “We don’t want you two to starve!”
“Oh.” Iris said, glancing once at Eris — she couldn’t help it really — before turning to smile at Elain. “Let me help you.”
“No!” Their hosts replied quickly and Iris blinked.
“That’s what I’m here for.” Lucien said with a charming smile he directed at Elain, who preened at his attention and then glanced back at Iris. “Please, enjoy the gardens for a little longer.” 
“We’ll let you know when it’s ready!” Elain called and promptly dragged Lucien inside, her giggle barely contained. 
Iris flushed and tried not to laugh at the way the two scrambled inside. A chuckle escaped nonetheless. “Your brother and his wife aren’t known for being subtle, are they?” she said and turned to finally face him once more.
“Not when it comes to me, at least.” Eris grumbled but it was with no heat as he let his gaze flicker to his wife. 
Iris seemed to hesitate, gauging the distance between them, and after a breath of silence, she lowered herself to release the bunny from her arms and then stood slowly. She slid over to Eris’s side and hovered close enough without touching.
“Are you alright? I saw fire.” she asked quietly. “I — I wanted to check on you but Elain said you would be fine talking to Lucien.” 
He nodded with a small smile. “I’m alright.” he said, rubbing the tip of his ear. “Are you – are you alright?”
Iris chuckled, shifting on her feet. “I’m fine. I was spending time with the bunnies.” she said, gesturing to the small animals around them.
“I can see that.” Eris said and Iris felt her cheeks heat under the weight of his gaze. The world had suddenly shifted into a pleasant quietness and she couldn’t seem to find the right words to say.  
Iris only had eyes for her husband and Eris only had eyes for her.
After another beat of silence, she curled a strand of hair behind her ear and said, “Did — did you and Lucien enjoy your chat?”
“Surprisingly, we didn’t punch each other.” he replied with a small smile. “But I really wanted to.”
Iris rolled her eyes. “You love him so much.”
“Incorrect.”
“So much.”
“That is an extremely inaccurate statement.”
Iris shot him a look that had his lips twitching but she only shook her head again and glanced at him, at the few inches between them. It wasn’t — she wasn’t feeling awkward. She suddenly and annoyingly felt shy. She let it fall silent for another moment then held out her hand. “Let me see your hand.” she asked softly, the need to touch him nearly knocking the wind out of her.
“It already healed.” he mumbled but still, placed his hand in hers. “I’m fine. I just — needed a moment.”
Iris inspected his hand quietly and Eris tried not to listen to how rapidly her heart was beating. He watched her face as she ran her thumb across his palm and willed himself not to shudder. 
“It’s healed fine but you need to get it cleaned up.” she said softly and glanced up at him as he peered down at her and stepped closer. “That’s the second time you’ve hurt your hands today.”
“A typical day in the life.” he said and Iris gave him a pointed look.
“You had me worried about you when you stormed out.”
He gave her another small smile. “Someone might think you actually like me with the way you’re worried about me.”
Her lips twitched. “I barely tolerate you.”
“Why, thank you, wife. I barely tolerate you as well.”
They shared another glance and Eris couldn’t help himself as he gazed at her beautiful face with the shy smile, at her bright hazel eyes — couldn’t help himself because he had to, simply had to kiss her. His gaze flickered from her eyes to her lips then back to her eyes again.
Licking his lips, he started to say, “I need to —”
Without waiting for him to finish, Iris cut him off with a whisper of “Yes.” 
She reached for him as he reached for her and Eris wrapped his arms around her waist. Iris fell into his embrace, his lips meeting hers as he pulled her firmly into him.
He kissed her and poured every emotion that vibrated through his body into her, delight flaring in him as Iris sank into him with a little whimper, her hands wrapping around him. Eris teased her with a gentle bite to her bottom lip and when she opened for him, his tongue dived in for a taste of her. He kissed and caressed and savored her mouth with his, willing himself not to tremble. Only when he felt her melt into him completely did Eris release her with a groan, resting his face on her shoulder.
Iris shuddered in his arms, a hand hesitantly sliding up his back. “Eris.” she whispered in his ear. “Terrible timing.”
“The absolute worst.” he agreed with a mumble, then lifted his head to bring his mouth against hers again, seizing her lips once more. 
Iris let him, fighting back a smile and failing, chuckling against his lips as he tasted her. The chuckle quickly turned into another whimper as he kissed her hard, her heart fluttering wildly and nothing could really prepare her for how badly she needed to have Eris near her, the one person she had never planned to even acknowledge. 
When Eris finally pulled back again, simply to glance at her, she let a moment of silence pass between them, watching the blaze in his eyes, and she couldn’t stop herself from leaning up and gently pecking his lips in return. She kissed him once, then twice, then a third time, sensing his growing delight.
“Well. Thank you, wife.” he said, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk when she flushed, even with the rapid beating in his chest. “I’m glad you’re enjoying what I have to offer.”
Iris shifted against him, her hands now smoothing his tunic and she avoided his eyes. “It’s barely anything. Don’t be too flattered.”
He chuckled then took a breath and stepped back, holding out a hand and Iris didn’t hesitate to intertwine her fingers with his, meeting his eyes once more. 
“Earlier…” she began slowly. “I thought you were upset with me. With the way you reacted.”
Eris grimaced. “It’s not — you did nothing wrong.” he said quickly. “I needed a moment.”
“Because I kissed you?” she asked, tilting her head to glance at him. “I didn’t realize I was that powerful.”
A weak laugh escaped Eris as he met her gaze. She doesn’t know. I had my whole world turned upside down and she has no idea.
His thumb gently caressed the back of her hand and Eris let a heartbeat pass before he gave her a tight smile. “Who is the one that’s too flattered now?”
Iris narrowed her eyes at him and he lifted a brow in return. “Something is wrong.” she said. “What is it?”
Eris only watched her face. How exactly was he supposed to tell her that something he never thought would happen to him had shifted the world beneath his feet? That she, the wife he had never thought would be more than a task he checked off, had weaved her way into his life, a life he hated almost everything about except for the moments he had started spending with her? That she, his Iris, was going to be the single most wonderful yet stress-inducing thing in his life.
All the panic that Lucien had walked him through was slowly creeping up his spine again. 
“Nothing.” he finally said quietly.  “Are you…feeling alright? Is there anything bothering you from earlier?”
Iris pursed her lips, her gaze dropping to their joined hands, and was silent for a moment. There was something he wasn’t telling her but she knew better than to push and thought about his question instead.
A lot had happened today. Too much, in fact. But…anything that happened before their kiss had faded from her mind. Eris and his rather heated kisses, what that meant for them now that they — they became a little more physical, was what remained on her mind. What she had told him before they came about her wanting to be more than friends and what that would mean. And that was a lot. 
But as she watched his thumb gently caress her hand… Iris knew it would be alright. Maybe she should’ve been more concerned but for all her initial worries about Eris, for all her doubts, today had only solidified what had been building inside her for some time. Everything that Eris was and what she thought he would be, came down to one thought and one thought only — that she wasn’t alone in this. It made all the difference. 
She bit the corner of her mouth then looked up and said, “I feel a little overwhelmed but I’m — I’m not worried. More…nervous? But not in a…bad way.” she admitted slowly. “...You?”
Eris hummed softly and held out his other hand so that both her hands rested in his. He liked holding her hands far more than he’d care to admit. 
“I’m…fine.” he said dryly and Iris’s lips twitched when his own cheeks heated. “I think you could probably tell I was feeling a tad overwhelmed.”
“Because my kiss knocked you out of this world?” she teased gently. “Guess all that practice came in handy.”
His grip tightened on her hands and said through clenched teeth, “Don’t — don’t bring that up right now.”
Iris’s brow rose in amusement and she fought back a smile. “Wow, you really are sensitive today.”
“Wife.”
He narrowed his eyes at her but Iris only smiled innocently and Eris rolled his eyes.
Clearing his throat, he let it fall silent for a moment before he continued, “But I am…nervous as well. I don’t…know how to be this person. I don’t know how to do this.”
Iris shrugged, her heart swelling at his confession. “Neither do I.” she said and squeezed his hands. “You said that when we first agreed to be friends too but I think we’re doing pretty okay.”
“Aside from you throwing a chair at me and trying to stab me a few times.” 
“You’re really never going to let that go, are you?”
“Never.” he said and smirked. “It makes me very aroused to think about.” 
Iris rolled her eyes and the corner of Eris’s lips lifted when she mumbled, “You’re very annoying.”
“Annoying I may be but…” he started and the air between them shifted as he gazed at her intently. “I am your husband who is also your friend. That you want to be a bit more than that with.”
He felt her grip tighten on his hands and she glanced down at their joined hands then back up at him. “Yes…I did say that.”
Eris let it fall silent as he looked at her, a whirlwind of emotion coursing through him. He tried to settle on one, be it panic, fear, joy, but in the end, he let them all mingle, focusing only on her. She had no idea he was going to be so much more than that. He would — well, he would be whatever the hell she wanted him to be. 
“We should — need to discuss what that means —” he started, his gaze flickering to the space around them. “More privately once we get home.” he finished and Iris tilted her head.
“Alright.” she said with furrowed brows then teased, “Are you afraid the bunnies will spread rumors about you having feelings?”
Eris snorted. “No. But Lucien and Elain are watching us from their kitchen window and they are very nosy.” he said and Iris turned her head to find said couple quickly ducking out of view.
She laughed softly as her cheeks heated. “I hope you know that this visit has been nothing short of mortifying.” 
“I nearly always want to assassinate myself after visiting them.”
“Because they tease you?” 
“Because they know me too well at this point.” he replied with a chuckle. 
“They really do.” she agreed and flushed. “It’s…been something, alright.”
Eris fought against the cascading of emotions brewing in him, fought against the smile as she gazed at him. Before he could stop himself, he let a finger brush against her colored cheeks. 
“I like seeing you blush.” he murmured softly and Iris fought back her own smile, glancing down with a shake of her head. “It makes me wonder what you’re thinking about.”
“I’m just thinking about…things.”
“What things, wife?”
Iris’s lips twitched as she looked up at him and shot him a knowing look. “Things.” she only said. 
The conversation with Elain had been…enlightening to say the least. Iris never had a doubt that Eris held up his reputation quite seriously to others so she wasn’t too surprised to know he was either strongly disliked or slightly feared. How much of a harlot he was shouldn’t have taken her by surprise either and it took every ounce of logical reasoning not to be irrationally jealous of Nesta Archeron, who was already mated to someone else and wanted nothing to do with him.
But it had warmed her heart just how much Elain and Lucien actually loved him. Knowing how much Eris loved them…it made her want to be worthy of their love too.  
The smile dropped from his face and he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “What exactly have you heard?” Eris asked and Iris laughed.
“Oh you know, things.” she said airily then smirked when Eris scowled. “We can discuss those later.”
“But —”
“Do you hear that? Elain calling.” Iris said and patted him on the chest. “We should go and be helpful guests.”
“Iris.” he started but she only gave a smile, pulling away.
“Surely you hear Lucien calling. He misses his big brother.”
Eris’s scowl deepened. “Wife.” 
“Don’t make me accidentally skewer you with a fork, Eris.” she said sweetly, skipping away further when her husband snorted. “All it takes is a slip of the hand.”
“Threaten me with a good time all you want, I will find out what you’ve heard.” 
“I’m simply trying to romance you, husband.” she said, pausing on the threshold of the back door to Elain and Lucien’s home. “Play nice, we’re still guests here.”
“I’m floored by your romance techniques.” he said dryly and waved a hand. “And we’re not guests here. Elain says this is my home too.”
“Elain, not Lucien?” she asked with a laugh and Eris shrugged.
“I think he’s still upset Elain likes me more than she likes him.”
Iris laughed again, the sound bringing a small smile to his own face. Her laugh made his wretched heart swell and ache all in one. Her laugh reminded him that things would be fine. She was his mate. He only had to tell her and it would be fine. They would be fine.
He watched her walk into his brother’s home with a shake of her head and knew in his bones that whatever came next, whatever they faced after this, Eris would do anything — become anything — to keep her laughing. 
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