#words cannot begin to describe the complicated feeling at play in my brain right now

[shitpostingkats]

rvb fans how we feeling

#words cannot begin to describe the complicated feeling at play in my brain right now #RT i will follow you anywhere one last time because you dangled the cheese cracker in front of me #please let it be a cheese cracker this time please let it be a cheese cracker #rvb #red vs blue #red versus blue #rooster teeth #memes #shitty edits

[impalementation]

spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 4

part 1: “When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

part 2: “Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id

part 3: “Something effulgent”: Season five and the construction of Spike the romantic

* 

“But I can’t fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason.”: Buffy and Spike as a blended self

Before I get into seasons six and seven, it’s worth asking: why would the show do all of this? Why would it spend all of this time developing a supporting villain and joke id character? Why would it give him a romantic arc? I see people say that the writers only gave Spike these storylines because he was popular or they wanted to keep him around, but even that being the case, there was no need to give him the specific arc that they did. It’s more than possible to read meaning into the story that they chose from the array of possible options. 

Here is the thing about the id. It’s not actually something separate from you. It’s not a ravenous monster you can blame your weaknesses on while remaining pure and dignified. The id is part of you. The immediate and enduring appeal of Spike is, I suspect, strongly influenced by the fact that the things the id wants are so very human and sympathetic. His foibles and mistakes are often painfully familiar, even exaggerated through vampirism as they are. In fact, it’s precisely because Spike is allowed to show a full range of reactions to love, because the writing is under less pressure for him to do the “right” or dignified thing, that he can at times be compelling in ways other characters can’t. If Spike just did nasty things, his appeal wouldn’t be much more complicated than the appeal of Angelus, who people tend to like as a villain or storyline rather than as a relatable character. But Spike doesn’t want to dismember nuns or construct elaborate murder tableaux. He wants familiar things like love, identity and meaning, even if the ways he goes about getting them can reflect people’s worst impulses. 

Which brings us to Buffy, and Buffy’s story about growing up. Buffy is Buffy’s show, which means that every writing choice tends to revolve around her arc in one way or another. And this goes for Spike’s storyline even more than most. In the final three seasons of the show, the writing finally engages with how inextricable the id--and all of its impulsive, inarticulate romantic desires--really is from a person’s self. So instead of keeping Spike at a comfortable distance, both Buffy and the writing begin to take him seriously. They begin to invite him in.

Starting in season five, it’s telling how frequently Buffy herself projects on Spike, rather than just the writing setting them up as mirrors. She tells him that he’s the “only one strong enough” to protect her family, and later assigns Dawn specifically to his protection. In “Spiral” she describes him as “the only one besides me that has any chance of protecting Dawn.” This is a very intimate role that she otherwise only assigns to herself (and which is not really based on pure practicality, considering that she’ll later describe Willow as her “big gun”--yet never gives Willow the task of protecting Dawn). She tells him that he cannot love, which is the thing she fears most about herself. Her protests that Spike is a vampire, and thus cannot express or want human things like love, mirror her lamentations that as the Slayer, she cannot have a normal life.

From the Gilliland Gothic double essay:

More than any of her other lovers, Buffy and Spike overlap one another so often that at times their character arcs become nearly indistinguishable. With Angel, Buffy traveled a parallel path in attempting to master self-control. With Riley, her journey ultimately took her in the opposite direction. With Spike, Buffy’s journey is most closely shadowed, in that her interactions with him in many ways can be seen as metaphors for her feelings about herself.

So now Spike is multiple things. On the one hand, he’s the soulless id he’s been since season two. His vampiric behavior represents a morally uninhibited way of reacting to romantic frustrations, among other things. But on the other hand, his vampirism now also marks him as like Buffy, not merely her opposite.* Nor is he only her mirror in the realm of romantic love. The part of him that is a vampire is the part of him that is supernatural (ie, Romantically larger-than-life), that sets him apart from regular people, and dictates how he can and cannot behave. Just like Buffy’s slayerness. His vampirism is what makes him capable of protecting Dawn, while also making him (supposedly, according to Buffy) incapable of human feeling--again, just like Buffy’s slayerness. Instead of Buffy’s Slayer side being aligned with Angelus, who was an unmitigated evil, it becomes aligned with Spike, who is something more complicated. 

*(Though it must be noted that this was a process that began in season four, with the show aligning Spike with the Scoobies by making him a victim of the Initiative. Spike being supernatural suddenly marks him as non-normative, just like the Scoobies, in contrast to the institutional conformity that the Initiative represents. The evolution towards treating the Romantic supernatural as something positive and associated with identity plays a key role in transitioning the show to the more complicated attitudes of the last three seasons.)

This shift in the show’s attitudes towards the id affects how Spike is used. In “Blood Ties” for example, Spike assists Dawn in breaking into the Magic Shop and in “Forever” he helps Dawn resurrect her and Buffy’s mother. In both cases, Spike could be read as embodying impulsive behavior that Buffy is supposed to be better than. Yet both cases specifically involve Spike helping Dawn, who is repeatedly portrayed as Buffy’s human side. As Buffy says in “The Gift”: “[Dawn]’s more than [my sister]. She’s me. The monks made her out of me. [...] Dawn is a part of me. The only part that I--”. In other words, Buffy’s id becomes closely tied to her humanity, even going so far as to become its safeguard. “Blood Ties” ends with Buffy affirming her connection to Dawn, which Spike’s rule-breaking directly enabled, and “Forever” ends with Buffy acknowledging how desperately she wants her mother back too, and becoming closer to Dawn as a result. (Compare to “Lovers Walk”, where Buffy acknowledging her id results in her breaking away from Angel, not drawing closer to anyone). Or in “Intervention”, Spike building the Buffybot directly parallels Buffy’s own anxieties about what she thinks she should be. She thinks she’s losing her ability to love, and that effusive fakery is her only recourse (as she said in “I Was Made to Love You”: “Maybe I could change. [...] I could spend less time slaying, I could laugh at his jokes. I mean men like that right? The joke laughing at?”), a fear that even has some merit, given that her friends cannot tell her and the bot apart. Instead of Buffy and Spike having separate arcs in the episode, Spike learning the difference between real and fake dovetails with Buffy’s own relationship to her realness and fakeness. It turns out that neither of them want a bot version of Buffy. They want real emotion, things like sacrifice and heartfelt gratitude. If even Buffy’s id would let itself be killed for Dawn, then maybe she has nothing to fear from herself. Maybe there is some beauty in the emotional part of her nature that she thinks she must repress.

In other words, part of the writing (and Buffy) fully engaging with romanticism and the id, means engaging with the ways they can be bad and good. There’s this weird thing that happens with Spike as soon as he falls in love with Buffy, where suddenly his actions are more uncomfortable, and to many, off-putting, because their object is Buffy (instead of another vampire like Harmony or Drusilla, who either enjoy the same vampiric things he does, or the audience might be inclined to see as a moral nonentity regardless). His comic id quality becomes somewhat darker and more serious, almost like the way Angel’s early season two darkness becomes more serious after he loses his soul. But at the same time, Spike’s actions are also more intriguing, sympathetic, and even noble...because their object is Buffy. It makes no sense that a soulless vampire should not only fall in love with the Slayer, but genuinely attempt to transform himself into someone worthy of her love. And yet that’s exactly what Buffy inspires him to do. By loving Buffy Spike’s dual nature, and the dual nature of his romanticism, is thrown into relief: it’s something that can be selfish and creepy, yes, but also something that hints at the idea that real romanticism does exist. Something worth feeling romantically about does exist. Thus the writing can at once criticize, say, the way the chivalric mindset conflates love and suffering, while also suggesting that there are kinds of love it’s worth being transformed by. (Meanwhile, Spike’s fumbling bewilderment over how to love Buffy, and what the rules of loving people correctly even are, creates a human middle ground between monstrousness and heroism). By leaning into the way that Buffy and Spike have been used as mirrors for three seasons, and introducing the mythology-bending idea of Spike being in love with Buffy, the writing is able to fully engage with this complicated, contradictory nature of love and romance.

All of which is to say. Spike becomes a potential love interest, and is given a convoluted inner conflict between monstrousness, humanity and heroism, in precisely the season in which Buffy begins to reckon with her own inner conflict between her darker impulses, her human reality, and her supernatural role. It’s no coincidence that season five opens with Dracula, an icon of romantic vampire mythology, tempting Buffy with darkness and promising her insight into her nature. Or that a vampire kidnaps Dawn--again, her human half--in the next episode. Or that the season’s antagonist is a super-strong blonde woman who wants to destroy Dawn instead of protect her. Or that she says goodbye to Riley, the boyfriend who embodied her hopes for a more normative way of being (notice how Riley is progressively destabilized by everything non-normative about Buffy’s life, and provokes those anxieties Buffy expresses in “I Was Made to Love You”). Over and over in season five, Buffy fears that her Slayer half is cold, destructive, and otherwise dangerous. That these Romantic things like gods and vampires have it in for Buffy’s vulnerable humanity. Yet Buffy’s vampire id simultaneously gives lie to these fears by proving itself capable of heroism and genuine human feeling.

In other words, Spike becomes a potential love interest in a season that treats the Romantic--ie the grand and mythical--as something more than just an attractive lie to be disabused of. Rather, the question that season five seems to posit to me, and which will not be fully answered until the end of season seven, is this: once you do clear away the attractive lies, once you accept the hard realities, once you’ve seen the darkest underbellies, what are the things that are left that are truly grand and beautiful? What are the stories that are really worth telling, and the heroes that are really worth having?

And the show asks and answers these questions on both a very personal level, and a more meta, systemic level. On the personal level, Buffy and Spike are forced to confront their illusions not just about the world, but about themselves. They are made to ask themselves what constitutes a heroic role or a demonic weakness, versus basic, unromantic humanity. And on the meta level, the show asks questions about our expectations for how both love stories and chosen hero stories are supposed to go.

part 5: “Everything used to be so clear”: Season six and the agony of the real

#romanticism series #gen #s5 #buffy #spike #riley #btvs

[barry-j-blupjeans]

maybe 3 or 11 + blupjeans for the kissing prompts? :o

11. when one stops the kiss to whisper “I’m sorry, are you sure you-” and they answer by kissing them more

(Kissing prompts here :D!)

this got,,, A LITTLE out of hand sjflsdfj. here is OVER 2k of blupjeans for ur reading pleasure (probably to be posted on ao3 later)

--

Barry’s got one arm covering Lup as he’s half leaning over her, and the other up in the air to create a shield around them (god, he was so glad that Lucretia had talked him into learning abjuration magic a few cycles ago). It wasn’t the strongest, but it held up as the mineshaft they were in caved in around them. By the time the ground stopped shaking, and the rocks stopped falling, the bubble he had created was completely covered from top to bottom. There wasn’t a shred of light anywhere.

“Fuck,” Lup said, which aptly described how Barry was feeling. “Quick thinking, Bar, good job.” 

She snapped her fingers and a few balls of light lit up the bubble, floating aimlessly around them.

He lowered his wand, focusing on the spell well enough for it to stay steady, and turned his attention to Lup. She wasn’t injured, besides some scrapes on her arms from when Barry had shoved her to the ground. He felt a little bad about that, but the tunnel was small and he didn’t want her to move out of range of the bubble.

Lup fished her Stone of Farspeech out of her robes as Barry gave her a tight smile in response. He sat up against the side of the bubble shield as she called back to the ship. Davenport was sending Taako, Magnus, and Merle to come to get them out (which Barry already knew would be a disaster, even if they worked well together). When she hung up, all that was left to do was... wait. There was a light on the top of her Stone to show it was being tracked, and they couldn’t do anything else to make it go faster.

“Sorry for pushing you,” Barry said. Lup shrugged and sat cross-legged across from him.

“No biggie,” she said. “It was either be pushed to the ground or get killed by a rock, so I don’t think I have the right to be mad about it right now. Or the want to, anyhow.”

Waiting was slow going. Barry knew Lup wasn’t a particularly patient person and could tell when she was starting to get antsy. Neither of them were good at sitting still, but Lup’s foot had been tapping for ten straight minutes before she started searching through her pack for things to do.

“Hey, Bar,” she asked, five minutes into that, “Wanna help?”

“Gods, yes,” Barry said, shuffling his way over to her side. “Give me something to do.”

Lup muttered something under her breath that Barry didn’t catch, and probably didn’t want to. She turned the whole bag over and pushed half of it towards him.

“Do... something with that,” she said and started working on her half.

Barry started to organize it because that was probably what Lup had meant. He sorted it by use first- things someone would need if they were going to a mission (waterskin, loose charcoal, which Barry didn’t want to begin questioning), makeup stuff (chapstick, face wipes, three different colors of nail polish, and one eyelash curler), and misc. (four individual playing cards, a note in Taako’s handwriting that just said “fuck you”, a photo of a baby elephant). Then he sorted by size.

When he looked back over to Lup, she had made a wobbly tower out of her half. Barry was startled into a laugh, which caused it all to fall over.

“Barold Bluejeans,” she said, turning on him. “You fucking monster.”

“S- sorry!” Barry gasped, leaning back against the bubble, not sounding sorry at all. “I thought- I thought we were both sorting!”

“I said “do something” not sort!” Lup said. “I cannot believe- oh, fuck, is that my charcoal, I was looking for that.”

Which just made Barry laugh harder. She scowled at him, in good nature, and snatched the charcoal from his piles. She eyed him as she started building her tower again, pausing only when he sniggered to send a light-hearted glare his way.

After a while, he finally got control of his laughter and watched her build a tower. She had two books she was using as the base, followed by a thinning stack of sticky notes, and a half-empty water bottle. After about three minutes, she finished the pile, which had been swaying precariously as she added things, and placed the charcoal on top. She leaned back on her hands and looked at it.

“Hey, Bar,” Lup said, not taking her eyes off the pile.

“Yeah?”

“I’m bored.” She tore her gaze away from it to look at him, lips turned into a cute little frown. “I wanna do somethin’ else.”

“Not a lotta options here, Lup,” Barry said. She frowned, tilting her head at him. His heart stuttered a little. “We can, uh. Talk?”

“About what?” Lup asked. “‘What’s your favorite color?’ I already know yours is denim blue. You’re predictable, babe. I don’t know what to ask that wouldn’t seem like this is a bad first date.”

Barry flushed a little.

“This would be a very bad first date,” Barry said and Lup laughed. She scooted up next to him, careful not to disturb her pile while she moved. After a second, she pressed her arm next to his and leaned onto his shoulder. Barry’s brain short-circuited, almost missing what she said next.

“We’d have to be on at least third date questions,” Lup said thoughtfully. “Like, uhh. What’s your social security number?”

“I don’t remember that!” Barry laughed and Lup buried her head into his shoulder, giggling. “I- I barely even knew it when we were at home, Lup, how do you expect me to remember it after forty-five years.”

“Joking, Barry,” she said, laughing a little still. “I’ll ask a better question, then. Uh. When you were a kid, what did you wanna be when you grew up?”

“Astronaut,” Barry said immediately, which sent Lup into another fit of giggles. She looked up at him, grinning.

"For real?" she asked and when he nodded, she whistled. "Dang, babe, you got your dream."

"I- I guess," Barry said. "It's not like- I mean, I gave up on that dream fairly quick back home. One, because it was pretty unrealistic until the Light came, and two, because it seemed... I don't know, unrealistic. I was a professor, Lup, I didn't- the mission was more of a... midlife crisis decision, if we're being honest."

Lup hummed, dropping her head back down to lean on his shoulder. Barry worried he went too far for a moment.

"I forget that human's live such short lives," Lup said quietly. The mood of the room (bubble) shifted when she said that. It took on a somber tone. "Me and Taako weren't adults until we were a hundred. By that age, you'd be all old and wrinkly."

"Hey," Barry said, nudging her. "I'm old and wrinkly now."

She snorted but shook her head.

"Guess Magnus's "live now, die later" attitude kinda makes sense when you think about it like that," Lup said. "Like, you age so fast. You just kinda have to do what you want when you want so you can actually get it in there, y'know."

"Not really," Barry said. "I mean, there's a lot of time to do things still, but I see where he's coming from. You don't wanna not do something and regret that you never did it."

Lup seemed to think on that for a second. Barry did, too. She was still pressed against his shoulder, close enough that her hair was tickling his neck. He looked away and sighed slightly. If he was being honest, he probably should take his own words to heart. Life, love, never lasts long enough and as soon as you get what you want, it's counting down the seconds until something takes it away. Circumstances, opportunities, death. Something always took it away.

They had an endless amount of time to get it right. But Barry didn't want to be the one to break her heart when they stopped the cycles and he started to age again.

"Barry," Lup said, quiet, but absolutely deafening in the silence of the bubble. "I, uh. I think we need to talk." She sat up, turning herself towards him completely. Barry's heart thundered in his chest.

"I know humans don't live long," she said carefully. "And we don't know when we're gonna get out of these cycles. But I... can't ignore things because of that. I can't just fucking- pretend that I'm not feeling things? Because that's not healthy and also, by the way, it fucking sucks. I'd rather-"

She broke herself off. Barry saw her hands dig into the dirt under them.

"This isn't the best place to say it," she said, looking away. She backed up a bit and knocked her pile over in the process. "Uh, my bad, I just-"

"I don't wanna pretend either," Barry blurted out, before he even thought about what he was saying. "Being trapped in a bubble under a collapsed mineshaft isn't the best place to talk about anything, Lup, but it's you and I don't wanna make you not want to say something. I, uh. I think I get what you're getting at, though."

He steeled himself, taking a deep breath in. Okay, he was doing this. He was doing this. He just had to, uh, collect himself first, and-

"I like you," and Lup beat him to the punch line. Barry blinked at her and she hurried along. "Like, in a romantic way, I mean. Not like- I like the others just fine, but I like you, Bar."

"Oh," Barry said. Lup chuckled nervously, not looking at him.

"Yeah," she said. "Um, like I said, not the best place to talk about it, but-"

"No!" Barry said. "No, Lup, I like you too! Fuck, I- I wasn't expecting you to, uhm- Lup, I like you so much, I didn't wanna make things weird."

"This whole goddamn situation is weird," Lup said, hitting the side of the bubble with her hand.

"No, like, us," Barry said. "Like as a friendship, I didn't wanna make it weird. I'm..." he sighed. "It's complicated for a lot of reasons, Lup, I'm human. I-"

"So it's a no?" Lup said awkwardly.

"No!" Barry said. "No, no, no, it's definitely a yes! I just don't want- I don't wanna fucking... die on you when the cycles stop, Lup. I don't want it to end and I don't want you to have to deal with that."

"That's not up to you," Lup said at once, sounding a tad bit annoyed. "If I wanna date you, that's my choice, and if you die, then it's my emotions I'm going to be dealing with. I don't want you to beef it, obviously, but- it's not up to you to figure out how I'll react then. I wanna do now with you and I wanna do that all the way up until we can't. It's fine if you don't- don't want that, but I-"

She was starting to tear up a bit and he panicked, scooting forward.

"Sorry," he said, because he didn't know what else to say. "I- I wasn't thinking about now, I was focusing on later. I- I don't want to see you upset because of something I've done, if I can help it. I got a little stuck in that.

"I desperately want this to work out," Barry said, holding out his hands. She wiped away a tear and clasped her hands in his. "There's no one I'd rather be with than you, Lup, I promise. But I wanna talk about what all it'll mean, first, if that's alright with you. I wanna make this work."

"Yeah," Lup said thickly. "Of course."

She hesitated for a second, and then wrapped him in a hug. His heart was beating fast as he hugged back, burying his face into her neck. After a moment, she drew back a little, pressing her forehead against his.

"Can I kiss you before we talk, or do you wanna wait 'til after?" she asked. The air momentarily left Barry's lungs. He took a deep, needed, breath in and nodded. When he realized that the nod answered nothing, he said,

"Now's good, if you, uh, if you want."

"Now," Lup said decisively, leaning in.

If you asked Barry, the day could be divided up into two parts: before he kissed Lup, and after. Maybe that was stupid, because they were buried under a pile of dirt and rocks right now, but... Her lips against his were fire and ash and everything wonderful and powerful. The touch was soft, because they were both uncertain, and Barry drew back just far enough to say,

"I'm sorry, are you sure-"

Before she was pressing her lips back up against his, stronger, with more intent. Barry's heart felt like it was going to explode in his chest as she tugged him closer with the arms she had around his neck.

And then he felt like his heart did actually explode when something clanged against the side of the bubble. Barry startled back, hitting the opposite end of the barrier, and looking towards where the sound had come from. Lup scooted back towards him, raising her wand towards it. It hit again and Barry recognized the blade of a shovel, scooping away the dirt.

In a matter of seconds, there was a sizable amount gone and there was Magnus, who grinned upon seeing them. He saw Taako standing against the wall a little further back and Merle on the ground, talking to him.

Lup swore. Barry saw that the tips of her ears were pink when she shoved her want back into her holster.

"We'll get back to this later," she promised. "The kissing and the convo, I promise. Help me put my shit back in my bag."

"Yeah," Barry said, his whole face flushed. "I can do that."

#blupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup #i swear this is an outlier they wont all be this long sldkjdsf #asks #anon #ise cube writing #also the thing lup muttered under her breath was 'oh i could give u PLENTY of things to do'

[missbrunettebarbie-writer]

Lovers to Enemies

Thanks to this promp and another one, I've came to revamp one of my WIPs (for the...12th time?) in a way I am really exciting about. The main ship could easily be described as lovers to enemies in this version. So here is what I have in mind:

Nefele had to watch her steps carefully as she could already feel the champagne going to her head. Rafael’s office slash library was starting to spin a bit, so she collapsed in one of the armchairs, laughing. This was what she had missed most after leaving the human world: laughing with her friends, getting drunk at parties, simply enjoying life. But Rafael had brought it all back for her and Nefele couldn’t help but love him all the more for it.

She knew she had to tell him the truth soon. It would be complicated to explain to a human the existence of fairies and magic. Rafael was many things and chief amongst them was the fact that he was a scientist. He may think of himself as a ‘biochemist who believes in magic and myths’, but Nefele knew better than to expect him to believe her with no proof.

So she will show him proof. She loved him and trusted him enough. Secrets had no place in a long term relationship. Not in a successful one at least. For a moment she contemplated telling him now, but it was probably better to wait till they were both sober.

Rafael came back with a box of almond chocolates -her favourite- and smiled in amusement when he saw her sprawled on the armchair like a spoiled cat.

“You know, I didn’t realize just how...giggle-y you become when you are drunk. makes me wonder what I am doing wrong if I cannot make you this happy when you are sober.”

“You are doing nothing wrong. On the contrary, I have never felt so at ease in someone’s company before.”

He kneeled in front of her, while his right hand started slowly caressing her cheek. Nefele tried to lean forward to kiss him, but to her shock, she realized her body was refusing to listen to her. She felt...paralyzed. panic begin to build in her chest, overtaking her brain like a thick fog.

“Rafael, I can’t...”

“I know, sweetheart. That would be the poison I put in your champagne.”

He shushed her gently, but his smile turned into an ugly grimace of pure hatred. Nefele was stunned she could not even begin to think of using her magic. Not against him as every instinct in her body refused to believe Rafael would ever mean her harm. But he wasn’t seeing her anymore, his eyes were distant and his words were fueled by a fury that Nefele had seldom heard in her own voice. And each time, it had been directed to a loathsome enemy.

“Did you really think I would not recognize what you are? You may have played me like a fool, may have made me fall in love with your illusion, but I am not stupid enough to not recognize a fairy. It took me a while, I have to admit. Your knowledge of the human world is impressive. far beyond what I’ve seen before. But after what your people did to my family, how could I have not done my homework? Don’t worry, Nefele, if this is your real name, I would pay you in kind.”

The last thing she saw before her vision blackened was Rafael touching the deep scar on his throat with sorrow in his eyes.

#ty!! #answer #my writing #original writing

[tomeandflickcorner]

Episode Review- The Real Ghostbusters: Night Game

Before I get into this particular episode, I should take the time to mention an unfortunate bit of news.  Veteran voice actor Julie Bennet, who voiced the recurring The Real Ghostbusters character of reporter Cynthia Crawford in the episodes ‘When Halloween Was Forever’ and ‘Citizen Ghost,’ has recently passed away at the age of 88, from complications related to COVID-19.  My heartfelt condolences go out to her family and friends.  It probably goes without saying that it feels almost surreal to discuss this particular episode with the tragic loss of such a talented person hanging in the air.  Especially since she was not the first person we lost to this virus, and she probably won’t be the last.  But in a strange way, it almost seems fitting that this is the episode that’s next on the roster, given the nature of the episode as a whole.

Late one night, something strange happens at a vacant baseball stadium, with bright blue and red lights shooting up from the pitcher’s mound.  The lights soon vanish as quickly as they appeared.  But since this is occurring in the middle of the night, nobody is there to witness it.  We then cut to the following morning, with Winston entering the Firehouse, sporting a baseball jersey and matching cap.  He announces to his friends that he has two tickets to a baseball game, and asks if anyone is interested in accompanying him.  At first, Ray seems interested as he asks if Winston’s tickets are for a Yankees or Mets game.  However, his demeanor instantly changes when Winston reveals the tickets are for a Jaguars game.  The Jaguars, from what I can gather, are an in-universe minor league baseball team. But they’re apparently not very popular due to their long record of consistently losing.  Winston, however, remains a loyal Jaguars fan.  Regardless, Ray and Peter both turn down Winston’s second ticket. The same goes for Janine, who pretty much compares spending a day at the ballpark to getting fungus in the brain. Of course, Egon pokes his head into the room when he hears Janine mention fungus.  Because, as we know from the movie, he collects spores, molds and fungus.  So Winston tries to invite Egon to go with him to the game.  Egon almost seems interested, as he mentions an old colleague of his from his days at Columbia University once studied the dynamics of the curveball.  But Egon ultimately states he can’t join Winston, as he’s in the middle of an important project.  Finally, Winston turns to Slimer, who has chosen that moment to appear on the scene. Initially, it looks like even Slimer is going to turn down the invite.  Until Winston says the magic words by mentioning the popcorn, ice cream and hot dogs.  Naturally, Slimer is right on board with anything that involves him getting food.

So Winston and Slimer head off together to Jaguars Stadium. And we see the stands are almost completely empty, with only about ten people in attendance.  Sadly, most of the other spectators are not even paying attention to the game.  One guy is focused on reading the newspaper, and another person is clearly taking a nap. (Obviously, this was meant to further illustrate how unpopular the Jaguars are, buy why would you even pay for a ticket if you’re not going to bother watching the game?)  Winston, on the other hand, is still enjoying the game, telling Slimer (who is surrounded by a large amount of ballgame fare) that it doesn’t matter if the Jaguars lose.  Because regardless of the outcome of the game, the team did their best.  And that’s all that really matters.

Out of nowhere, the same spectral lights that appeared on the field during the night appear again.  This time, Winston was there to witness it.  (It’s unclear if anyone else saw it, since nobody else seemed to be even watching the game at this point.)  As Winston watches, the spectral lights caused a baseball to fly through the air at super speed, resulting in it hitting the ground, preventing the Jaguar Infielder(?) from catching it.  When the game ends, Winston heads back to the Firehouse to tell the other Ghostbusters what he saw.  But they’re all skeptical of Winston’s account, with Peter commenting on how he’d have an easier time believing something supernatural happened at the game if the Jaguar player actually caught the ball.  (Did they not hear the part where the spectral lights appeared?) Winston insists he knows what he saw and, to back up his story, he reveals he stopped by the library on the way back and found a book that discussed an old Native American legend that seemed to fit with what he observed.  According to Winston’s book, the supernatural forces of good and evil fight a battle on a certain site every 500 years.  And it turns out that the site mentioned in the legend coincides with the location of Jaguars Stadium.  Which is an interesting development, I must say.  Usually, it’s housing developments and hotels that are built over sacred Native American land.  This is the first time I heard of a baseball diamond being built over one.

Egon soon agrees that they probably should look into this. But first, they’ll need to get a special permit from Mayor Lenny.  Winston argues against waiting, as the permit process could take days, and who knows what could happen in the meantime?  For all they know, a major supernatural manifestation could emerge before the permit could arrive.  Regardless, Egon states that it’s too late at night to do anything, and the best thing for them to do was get a good night’s rest.  However, Winston insists on staying up a bit longer, as he wants to read more about the legend.

Sometime later, though, it appears Winston wasn’t willing to wait until morning to do anything, as he donned his Ghostbusting gear and elected to head back to Jaguar Stadium on his own.  Which is probably not the smartest move, but you still have to admire his dedication.  Upon arriving at Jaguar Stadium, Winston manages to convince the security guard to allow him access to the empty stadium.  Which the security guard agrees to on account of him being a big fan of the Ghostbusters.  When Winston and the security guard make it onto the field, they witness the spectral lights returning once again.  Jumping into action, Winston makes an attempt at firing his Proton Pack at the lights, giving the security guard the chance to get away and call the other Ghostbusters down there via a payphone.

By the time Peter, Ray and Egon make it down to Jaguar Stadium, they find the field has been encased within an ectoplasmic barrier. Egon soon comes up with a plan to blast a hole into the barrier by aiming their Proton Packs at the same exact spot.  The plan works, and they’re able to make it past the barrier, which closes up behind them almost instantly.  Upon getting past the barrier, they find Jaguar Stadium has been transformed into an ethereal looking baseball diamond.  Though they’re initially focused only on the rather tall ghostly figure standing before them.

The Ghostbusters demand that the figure, who is currently dressed like a baseball umpire, state what he did with Winston.  But at that moment, Winston appears behind them, completely unharmed.  Though he is now wearing a baseball uniform.  Winston proceeds to explain that, as the legend says, the supernatural forces of good and evil always choose their battle by the form of their surroundings.  And since Jaguar Stadium is currently located over the designated site of their battle, it was decided that their battle would take the form of a baseball game. And it turns out that, since Winston was present when the battle began, he has been allowed to play as a shortstop for the Good Team.  Because, as the Ghost Umpire states, when Good and Evil choose sides for battle, no one can be neutral.  Although, the Ghost Umpire states it’s too late in the game for Peter, Egon and Ray to join, so they should leave.  However, it’s ultimately decided that they’ll be allowed to stay and watch.  Especially when Egon seems to realize that they have a personal stake in this game.

It’s also established that, while nothing will happen to the losers of the game, the two differing sides are fighting for the fate of one human soul.  And if the Good Team loses the game, then Evil will torment the soul for the next 500 years.  Initially, Peter voices his disbelief that they took over an entire baseball stadium and probably caused a city-wide panic, all for one single human soul. But the Ghost Umpire counters this, by delivering one of my favorite lines of the episode:

“Just one soul?! Is there anything on this puny earth as important?  Isn’t even one soul worth all this effort?  And more?”

Words cannot describe how much I loved that line! Because it is absolutely true! Every single soul (and life, for that matter) is precious.  And it therefore deserves to be protected and saved, whenever it’s possible.

Anyway, as Winston heads back towards the field to resume his position as shortstop, Egon informs Peter and Ray that he’s surmised that the soul that’s at stake must be Winston’s, which is why he was allowed to participate in the game.  Peter voices his concern that the players on the Good Team don’t exactly seem like they’re well-equipped to play baseball, though Ray points out that they can’t have been performing too badly, as the scoreboard reveals that it’s been a steady 0 to 0 for the past 8 innings.  Although, this indicates that the game is currently in the final inning.

And so the game commences, with the Evil Team up at bat. The first batter strikes out, but the second batter manages to hit the ball.  Winston runs out to catch the ball, but the baseball apparently multiplies as it begins to fall.  Regardless, Winston still manages to catch one of the balls, so the Ghost Umpire declares that the second batter is out.  After the Ghost Umpire makes that call, Peter, Ray and Egon approach him to state that, while they’re not disputing his call, they feel that he should declare the game a forfeit, as the Evil Team clearly cheated and should therefore be declared the loser by default.  But the Ghost Umpire points out that the Evil Team is expected to cheat, as it’s in their nature to do so. That’s why they’re called Evil. Only Good is not allowed to cheat. Because if Good adopts the ways of Evil, it becomes Evil.  Okay, fair enough.

The ballgame continues, and eventually, the Evil Team manages to gain a single run before they reach their third out.  So it’s now 1 to 0, meaning that if the Good Team doesn’t manage to get at least 2 runs before the inning is over, then the Evil Team is the winner.  As the two teams switch, Winston takes his chance to approach his friends to let them know that he’s glad the Ghost Umpire allowed them to stay and watch, as they have no idea how important this game really is.

Before long, the Good Team manages to have a man on first and second.  At this point, the Evil Team calls for a time out so they can bring in a relief pitcher. This relief pitcher ends up being a gigantic ghost with an elephant-like trunk, and he manages to strike out the current batter out almost instantly.  Ray notes that the Good Team only has one more out to go, so they can only hope that the Good Team has their best hitter coming up.  To their surprise, it turns out that Winston himself is now up to bat. So the Ghostbusters are understandably nervous, especially when the Ghost Umpire informs them that Elephant Nose is Evil Team’s best pitcher.  Peter states that it’s not right that Winston’s fate should be decided by the outcome of a baseball game, and that there has to be something they can do. At this point, the Ghost Umpire casually comments that perhaps Winston would have an easier time against a different pitcher.  Upon hearing this, Peter gets an idea.  He points out that they’re not playing in the game, and nobody said they couldn’t cheat.  So, when they see Winston is one strike away from losing the game, he tells Egon that he and Ray will shoot Elephant Nose with their Proton Packs before he can strike Winston out, and that Egon should be ready with the Ghost Trap. Because if they catch Elephant Nose, then the Evil Team will have to use a different pitcher.  However, Egon is deep in thought, and right before Peter and Ray could activate their Proton Packs, he jumps in front of them to stop them from interfering.  Egon reminds them that the Ghost Umpire stated quite clearly earlier that nobody is neutral in this battle between Good and Evil.  Which means they’re not neutral, either.  And if they cheat, then Evil automatically wins the game.  So they can do nothing other than hope Winston can hit this last ball.

Naturally, Winston is indeed able to hit the next ball.  Not only that, he actually manages to hit a home run, resulting in the Good Team winning the game, 3 to 1.  With the game over, both teams vanish from sight, leaving only the Ghostbusters and the Ghost Umpire behind.  Egon turns to the Ghost Umpire, asking him if he was indeed trying to test them, and the Ghost Umpire more or less confirms this by stating they had to choose between cheating to help their friend, or trust in fair play and let Good win on their own terms. With those words, the Ghost Umpire disappears, cryptically stating that they might meet again someday.

After the Ghost Umpire departs, Jaguar Stadium returns to normal.  Egon voices his regret that he hadn’t been able to study the Ghost Umpire more closely. Though Peter states the fact that they saved their friend’s soul is reward enough.  Winston is visibly confused by this statement, asking Peter what he means by that.  Ray tells him that they figured out that the baseball game was to decide Winston’s fate, but Winston informs them that they got it all wrong.  It was actually Peter’s soul they were playing for.  Upon hearing this, Peter sinks to the ground in shock, having realized that, by nearly cheating, he came dangerously close to dooming himself.  He declares that, from now on, he’s only going to attend Mets games.  As for how the rest of this conversation goes, it’s not very clear, since the closing music drowns out their dialogue as the camera pans out.  But I believe they proceed to discuss the pros and cons of other baseball teams, as I distinctly hear Egon mentioning the Toronto Bluejays.

If you’re a fan of baseball, I can see you thoroughly enjoying this episode.  And it’s also quite entertaining from a philosophical standpoint, considering it involves a battle of Good vs Evil.  In addition, the artistic design of the players in the Good Team and the Evil Team are all very creative and unique.  For instance, the pitcher for the Good Team was a red skinned centaur, and another player had an almost dog-like face.  Although, the most interesting character was definitely the Ghost Umpire.  Especially since he was the most enigmatic ghost involved in the game.  As he clearly said, nobody was a neutral player. Which meant he couldn’t have been neutral, either.  But that left the question if he was one of the Good Spirits or the Evil Spirits. The fact that he did tempt the Ghostbusters to cheat might suggest that he was one of the Evil Spirits, but one could also argue that he was one of the Good Spirits, since Evil knew that Good would never make an unfair call while Good could not trust Evil to be impartial. Either way, the episode pretty much leaves it up to the viewer to decide, which is something that I did appreciate. Though, to my knowledge, the suggestion that the Ghostbusters might have another meeting with the Ghost Umpire someday never actually goes anywhere, as they never encounter him again.

(Click here for more Ghostbusters reviews)

#the real ghostbusters #rgb episode review #ghostbusters franchise

[kingwallywest-blog]

Guys like us don’t get the girl.

But sometimes they do.

P.S. Cannot send enough thank yous to the anon who told me about the wayback archive. I was able to find this fic! It was one of my first WA fics. I forgot how much I loved writing it.

Maybe it’s the reality check he needs. Maybe he should let Iris live her life and he can quietly step to the side, as both Barry and the Flash (Caitlin’s advice also lingering in his mind too often). Maybe Iris doesn’t need him around as much anymore.

So he avoids her for a few days, just to see if she notices.

Of course Iris notices. She’s not happy about it, either.

And like that, she draws him back into her life after only a four day separation. There’s a sense of relief that he feels when he concludes they’re two peas in a pod, yin and yang, two sides of the same coin. Practically joined at the hip, and she doesn’t need him around - she wants him around, which is all the more satisfying.

Even if they only remain friends, he’ll love her. Even if she stays with Eddie, he’ll be in love with her. Even if she decides to continue down the dangerous path of being an investigative journalist, he’ll support her. Protect her, though Iris has shown him one too many times during their lives that her left hook is finely tuned (“Don’t let my small arms fool you, Barry. I’ll knock him out cold if he picks on you again!”).

Barry finds himself unable to stay away; he doesn’t want to stay away but Caitlin keeps giving him these knowing yet disapproving looks when he returns to the lab with what she describes as a “dumb, love-struck smile.” He pointedly ignores the rest of her rant about how he’s sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong, that, in the end, he’s making it harder for both himself and Iris.

(He also pointedly ignores how right she is, and that sinking feeling he gets every time he’s reminded.)

* It’s Christmas night when Eddie proposes to Iris, with both Joe and Barry in company.

And between the three of them, Barry can’t tell who is more surprised.

Iris, a hand covering her mouth and her eyes unwavering from Eddie’s.

Joe, speechless and frozen, and maybe even a little confused.

Barry, with the breath knocked out of him and heart breaking loud enough for Joe to hear.

Joe’s hand reaches for his shoulder and gives him a hard squeeze, a gesture that Barry would usually take great comfort in, but now feels like heavy bricks weighing down. Then Joe turns and plays the role of excited father.

"Barry, there’s champagne in the cooler. Do you might grabbing it?" Eddie asks him, a blinding smile on his face that is noticeably missing from Iris’s - maybe still in shock - and Barry does what any best friend would do.

He congratulates her and her fiancé.

* Barry’s sort of glad Caitlin is refraining from saying “I told you so,” but she’s also been too busy with her own problems to really rub the salt in his wounds.

Like the fact that the man she had been mourning for a year is back from the dead. As some torched resemblance of a human being no less.

All of Central City is shaping up to be a cliché comic book, featuring meta-humans, time traveling, and all-too-complicated love stories.

Figures he’d be the star of it.

But all of what’s happening with Ronnie and his mother’s murderer gives him a decent distraction from Iris. Barry isn’t sure if he’s disappointed or relieved that she hasn’t talked to him about the proposal yet. It seems that they’ve both been keeping their distances from each other.

It’s probably best that way, he tells himself. Because soon she’ll be Mrs. West-Thawne.

* “I can’t marry him.”

Iris barely steps into his apartment before she’s rambling off.

"I can’t do it! I should have told him the night he gave me the ring. But he looked so happy! What right do I have to take his happiness away like that? And my dad, God, my dad! Barry, did you see his face? He was going to cry from joy! What kind of terrible daughter would I be if I took that from him? He’s probably already named all of the grandchildren he thinks Eddie and I are going to have, but we’re not - “

"Woah, what are - "

" - because I don’t love him." Iris takes a deep breath, and Barry can see the tears brimming in her eyes. He marvels at her ability to have kept everything bottled up for that long.

Then he begins to worry.

"Iris," Barry begins carefully. He’s unsure of where to begin, as his brain is still trying to process her confession, so he says the first thing that comes to mind. "Do you want me to make coffee?"

There’s a stillness, and then Iris laughs, a hiccup getting caught in her throat that makes Barry laugh too, until she’s nodding through her tears and he’s pulling her in his arms.

"My coffee isn’t that bad," he mutters into her hair when she’s quieted down after a few minutes, and he’s fully prepared for the punch she gives his chest.

Iris is smiling at least, so he finds himself smiling back. He cups her cheek and traces the wet trails on her face with his thumb, drying what he can.

"If you don’t want to marry him, then don’t. No one has ever told Iris Ann West what to do," he says, which pleases her plenty if by the way she sighs and leans into his touch is any indication.

"This is why you’re the best man in my life," she tells him. Barry tries not blush or stutter, but he knows he’s failing.

"Because I give good advice or because I’m not even mildly annoyed that you were banging on my door at 5:30 on a Saturday morning?" he teases.

"Oh my god, is it really that early? I am so sorry - "

"It’s okay." He means it. "I’m glad you’re here." So very much means it.

He thinks that when she looks up at him this time, it’s different. He can’t quite place why, but there’s a gleam in her eyes that he’s never seen before.

At least not directed towards him. And he can get lost in that look for days, he knows by the way it fires heat through his body, one nerve at a time.

Barry clears his throat and takes a step back. “Let me get that coffee started.”

"Yeah," Iris blinks up at him, seemingly as unsure about the last few moments as he is. "Good idea."

In the kitchen, during the couple of minutes he had to himself, he wonders if these are the kind of changes Felicity was talking about.

*

Barry decides that these are definitely the changes Felicity was talking about.

They’re subtle changes, but still…changes. Like how Iris looks at him; that same one from the other morning in his hallway, as though with renewed interest. How she acts around him; she’s touching him more, and while Iris has always been one for physical contact, there’s something almost - sensual about it now. Fingers grazing, close personal space shoulder-bumping, her hand lingering in areas he knows defined muscle has formed.

Barry thinks, and he could potentially and disastrously be overthinking it, that Iris is even flirting with him. And to be honest, he’s not sure how to respond to it.

"This is the moment you’ve been waiting for, dude. Super hot girl that you’ve been in love with is acting on mutual attraction! What’s your problem?" Cisco gapes at him during one of their ping pong games.

"My problem," Barry hits the ball back to the other side, "is that I’m not good at these kinds of things. Flirting and being charming and - I’m just not the guy who gets the girl."

Cisco rolls his eyes. “You’ve flirted with her before. Do I need to remind you of your guys’ rooftop days? Please don’t make me remind you of your rooftop days.”

"You’re forgetting that I went to her as the Flash. The Flash is much cooler than I am, trust me."

"The fact that you’re referring to yourself as an alter ego is slightly alarming," Caitlin comments from the corner where she’s piecing together the map of Ronnie’s possible whereabouts. "I’ve told you before, you are incredible and amazing with or without the speed, Barry. And Iris knows that."

Barry puts his paddle down, smirking at Caitlin’s back. “Someone’s changed her tune.”

Caitlin glares over her shoulder and it promptly shuts him up.

*

Any doubts Barry may have had about Iris’s intentions is cleared when Joe approaches him with a smile too giddy and curious for any cop or father to have.

"What’s going on with you two?"

Barry doesn’t know how to best phrase that Iris is seemingly reciprocating the emotional, romantic, and sexual feelings he’s ever had for her so he grins and says, “Progressing one day at a time.”

Joe pats him on the back. “You two were made for each other, Barry.”

Barry is starting to believe it.

* The words sort of tumble from his mouth by accident.

Iris had tried to surprise him with a homemade birthday dinner, and he was alarmed to find his front door unlocked that he completely startled her when she was lighting the candles on the table.

The table caught on fire…

…and then dinner burned while they were putting the fire out.

That’s when he tells her, in his moment of slight panic. “I love you. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.”

Barry’s half-expecting Iris to get mad at him or get away as soon as possible, but she smiles and closes the space between them.

"I know. I’m sorry it took me this long to figure it out."

He’s about to tell her that she shouldn’t be sorry for anything, but she presses up on her toes and pulls him down for a kiss.

All else melts from his thoughts when she glides her tongue against his lips.

Barry can’t remember what happens after that, oddly enough, but then Iris tells him the next morning it’s because he passed out and hit his head pretty hard.

Totally worth it.

* “This came in the mail today,” Thea says, handing Oliver the envelope. “Looks like a wedding invite.”

Oliver pulls the gold trimmed letter open and feels the corners of his mouth spreading into one of his rare smiles.

We are delighted to invite you to the wedding ceremony of Bartholomew Henry Allen and Iris Ann West.

…

…

…

P. S. I got the girl.

#wow thank you anon for telling me about the wayback site #i genuinely forgot how much i loved writing this particular story #thank you thank you thank you!! #westallen #westallen fic #just want to add it to my blog

[nyadere]

Reposting this bc the link got messed up when I changed URLs!!

My all time favorite Destiel fics, in no particular order. (More to be added over time) {last updated 10/08/2019}

Too Much TV Will Rot Your Brain by EndlessRain Rating: G Words: 7397 Summary: “Angel?” John asked. He had been in Heaven for a pretty long time, and had been hunting even longer, and he never had heard of angels actually existing.

“Oh for God’s sake,” Ellen said, “That’s your kid’s boyfriend!”

Notes: A short, sweet fic with mostly humor and a bit of angst mixed in. – How (thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (accidentally) raised each other (and Sam). by Vera Rating: E Words: 69693 Summary: In which, Gabriel meddles with the time line and Castiel becomes Dean’s angel rather sooner than intended.

Notes: This is a must-read, the writing is perfect and the idea is also perfect. Throwing Castiel into the boy’s lives from the start and the dynamic it brings is such an interesting take on the story.

–

Destiel, Actually by Bloodism Rating: E Words: 15973 Summary: Picture your typical rom-com cliché. Now picture Dean stuck in that rom-com cliché. With Castiel. Because that’s what happening to him - a crazy whirlwind of your typical-and-not-so-typical cliché’s. He’s playing the main lead in all of them and Castiel’s his counterpart. Of course, the culprit is obvious. Gabe’s enjoying himself too much, lying back on his favourite cloud with a tub of salted popcorn.

It was about time someone kicked the two knuckleheads into gear.

“And… ACTION!”

Notes: Funny & light-hearted, featuring everyone’s favorite trickster.

–

Angel’s Wild by LimonadeGaby, riseofthefallenone Rating: E Words: 389271 Summary: But that’s the whole reason he’s here, isn’t it? He’s not out here hunting Humans. He’s not even hunting deer, or bears, or anything else that featured in Bambi. He’s out here, freezing his nuts off every night, because he’s hunting Angels.

Sometimes Dean wishes that Angels were like how they’re described in the Bible. How people from time too old for him to care much about thought Angels were messengers and warriors of God, protectors of Humans. He knows that how they’re really described in the Bible is actually pretty terrifying, but at least they were told by God that they’re supposed to love Humans, right?

That’s a thousand times better than what Angels really turned out to be.

Notes: Another must-read. This fic is a huge, long and a bit of a slow-burn but its so worth it. One of the first destiel fics I fell in love with, an immersive AU with fanart included.

–

Things Dean Winchester Loves by tuesday Rating: M Words: 3623 Summary: Castiel makes a list, Sam gives good advice, and Dean takes a while to catch on.

–

In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things Rating: M Words: 57268 Summary: Dean drains his bottle of beer, sets it on the table and gets up, heading for the kitchen. Maybe to fetch another, maybe to leave. But Castiel doesn’t want him to go, doesn’t want to leave this conversation unfinished; he remembers his regret of just a few hours ago, that Dean had never known how he loved him.

“Wait,” he says and gets to his feet as Dean passes by. They’re standing close – close enough that Castiel can feel the heat of Dean’s body, the vibrancy of his soul brushing against his grace. “Dean, I have to tell you something…”

Set after the S11 finale.

Notes: another long, slow-burn. The buildup in this fic is fantastic, dealing with a jealous and in-denial Dean while poor Cas is dealing with his own feelings. This fic is so in-character I can see it happening in the actual show.

– Everything Comes Back To You by VioletHaze Rating: E Words: 32970 Summary: Dean knew better. Of course he did. But Cas seemed so charmed by the antique-filled bed and breakfast that Dean went along with it when the proprietor mistook them for a couple. Telling himself it gave them a strategic advantage to be so close to the crime scene, he agreed to the weekend special she offered them. When the case ended up being a bust, they stuck around anyhow because hey, the second night was free…

Notes: I love love loveeee this fic. Canon!verse with fake/pretend relationship. Dean in denial with mutual pining? Yes please. – Sam Winchester Sees the Light (And Dean’s Awkward Boner Face) by YamiTami Rating: G Words: 2447 Summary: Castiel is falling and he has to start doing human things to save energy. That means eating for sustenance, sleeping, and learning how to use a washing machine. This leads to a revelation.

Shamelessly inspired by a gifset of Misha putting a shirt on.

–

The Mirror by cloudyjenn Rating: M Words: 24568 Summary: When Dean touches a strange mirror, he’s whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesn’t take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something.

Notes: This. fic. is. amazing. I love reading about AU versions of the boys and this one has plenty of variety. Cute with a bit of angst mixed in.

–

In Your Sweet Little Bungalow by annodominique Rating: E Words: 13680 Summary: All things considered, Castiel has a house. All things considered, Castiel has a life. Without Dean.

It has been seven years since Sam died, seven years since Dean left Castiel, broken and human, and disconnected from humanity. Cas had to cope on his own somewhere along the way. He chose a little town of Oregon to settle in.

Seven years, and Dean shows up at his door on a chilly February night, saying the stupidest set of words to ever be said to Castiel’s face.

“I was–just passing by the neighborhood. Thought I’d drop by…to see you.”

And Cas doesn’t know what to do.

Notes: This fic is so angsty but so worth it.

–

When the Bough Breaks by captainshakespear, deanisthesun Rating: M Words: 73963 Summary: Years after the Darkness has been defeated, Dean and Cas are living the apple pie life in small-town Kansas. They don’t hunt anymore, and would like to keep it that way, but some young hunters knocking at their door have different plans.

Dean, Cas and Sam reluctantly agree to help out, but what ought to be a simple case becomes way more complicated and dangerous than they counted on. And when the hunt starts to invade the normal lives they’ve carved out for themselves and their kids, Dean and Cas begin to wonder if escaping the hunting life altogether might have been wishful thinking.

–

Home is Where by ChasingRabbits Rating: E Words: 15170 Summary: Casual vagrant Dean Winchester blows into Palo Alto to check on his little brother. What is meant to be a quick visit ends up drawing out when he meets and accidentally ends up clicking with Sam’s strange, grad student roommate Castiel.

Notes: non-canon verse AU where Cas has Asperger’s and is Sam’s roommate, this fic is very cute.

–

Out of the Deep by riseofthefallenone Rating: E Words: 488608 Summary: Stay away from the light-beds. Stay in the deep.

It is the first thing hatchlings are taught the moment their fans unfurl and they can swim without their parents to buoy them along. It is the first rule, the first law. It is the beginning of every boogey-monster bedtime story told when they settle against the cliffs to sleep.

Castiel should have listened better.

Notes: I cannot express how much I love this fic. Another huge AU with copious amounts of fanart and detail. Slow-burn, Merfolk AU. I will admit I was hesitant to read this at first as I don’t usually like mermaid/merfolk AUs but this story is so beautifully written and the attention to detail is amazing. Riseofthefallenone never ceases to amaze me.

–

Going Postal by captainbarnes Rating: Not Rated Words: 6799 Summary: Castiel,

Hi. My name’s Dean, just Dean — that’s all you’re getting out of me.

I don’t really know what else to say, I’m not good at this and I really don’t want to talk much. But it’s for a grade, and I’m already flunking English, so I guess I don’t have a choice.

Your name is weird as fuck.

— Dean

Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak became pen pals because of a school assignment, and they tried not to get attached to one another. They really did. Sort of. Barely.

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King of the Road by loversantiquities Rating: E Words: 15890 Summary: Contracted out by the local police in Moriarty, New Mexico, Dean is sent to investigate the happenings around a church outside of town, the Angel-worshiping congregation reportedly flocking to the location in recent days. As it turns out, though, instead of snake charmers or devil worshipers, Dean finds an Angel crucified to the cross, said Angel unreasonably snarky despite being tied up against his will.

Turning over Castiel to the authorities, though, doesn’t work in Dean’s favor. With nowhere to go and Heaven having abandoned him, Dean agrees to haul Castiel across the country on two conditions–he doesn’t smoke in the car, and he doesn’t rob convenience stores in broad daylight.

God, Dean might actually kill him before this is over.

–

Rock of Ages by winter_of_our_Discontent Rating: T Words: 7430 Summary: It starts because they need a rock. Not, of course, just any rock, but apparently this particular critter needs an Aztec-style obsidian-and-jade dagger right through its human-teeth-and-eyeball-eating heart to actually kill it.

In which Cas gets a ring, and Dean (finally) gets a clue.

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So There It Is, I’ve Said It All by PorcupineGirl Rating: G Words: 3898 Summary: “Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don’t think I’ll like?”

I think I’m in love with you.

“Yeah. I guess so.“

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Receipts by surlybobbies Rating: T Words: 1391 Summary: He’s about to put the receipt down, no harm done, when something about it catches his eye. Pen ink, on the back. He flips it around and reads:

With Dean. He shared his pie with me. His smile was radiant.

Dean stares. Reads it again. Nothing’s changed.

What? -

The Fourth Wall by entanglednow

Rating: T-E (this is a series so different parts have different ratings)  Words: 40,339 Summary:  (There’s not an exact summary for the whole thing since its a series of 15 different works but basically the boys discover fanfiction about themselves and things get wild) I can’t believe I didn’t add this one before but its one of my all time favorites! I’ve read it multiple times because its just that good. Lighthearted and funny. This series also includes Samifer which I’m a big fan of (but if you’re not into that each part is appropriately tagged so you can skip over it). 

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Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark Rating: M  Words: 45,876 Summary:  Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight. Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away. Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.  Notes: Lots of pining, supportive Sam, angst with a happy ending, the good shit.  - Everyone is Trying to Get to the Bar by Balder12 Rating: E Words: 8,111 Summary:  Dean still has enemies in Heaven. True!form Castiel to the rescue!

Notes: I love true!form cas fics and this one is written beautifully, the ending seemed a little rushed to me but other than that I really enjoyed this fic.

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As You Pass Through Me by wannaliveindeansdimples Rating: E Words: 30,548 Summary: Cas has lived in this house all his life... and since his untimely death. The last thing he wants is a new roommate, but it seems he's getting one anyway.

Notes: a wonderful non-canonverse AU with ghost!Cas....but there’s a twist! This fic is incredibly cute and entertaining and makes me smile everytime I read it. There’s a little bit of what could be considered dub-con in a few chapters but before said chapters the author usually has a note at the beginning.

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#Destiel #Destiel fic rec #Destiel fanfiction #deancas #destiel fic recs #supernatural #spn

[hellholland]

A Queen and Her King || Tom Holland x Reader [Part 1][Gang/Assassin AU]

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is my very first action AU, so I apologize for things that seem oddly unrealistic in the crime world. I obviously don’t know much about it. If you have tips or feedback, please message/ask me about it! I created the idea for this fic through a song called Natalie by Bruno Mars, but I also want to credit @hollandroos​ for her fanfiction, Blow A Kiss, Fire A Gun. It was the very first Mob!Tom fanfiction I read (The first AU like that I’d ever read, actually.) and it still inspires me as I hope to continue this series. I hope for this to get better as it goes along. Just so you have the basic knowledge, this is kind of like a Mobster!AU meets Assassin!AU and a lot of wild crossover shit. 

TRIGGER WARNING: Violence, language, guns, knives, suggestive sexual actions, mentions of pedophilia (It’s not any more graphic, it might even be less, than basic horror movies you might’ve seen. The description is mostly about action, not in depth detail of what it looks like. It’s an assassin/gang/mafia AU, so it’s kind of fucked up anyway.)

DISCLAIMER: This story contains content that I am just writing for the sake of the story. I do not condone/support it. Your “character” as the reader, may also do things you personally would not do. Please don’t read if you can’t handle that. THIS DOES NOT ACCURATELY REPRESENT TOM, HIS MORALS OR ANYONE HE’S ASSOCIATED WITH. I’M MERELY USING HIS IMAGE AND A NAME TO CREATE THIS STORY. PLEASE DO NOT EVER TAKE THIS AS AN ACCURATE PORTRAYAL OF TOM. (This is more of a movie in my head, and a character Tom is playing)

I have trigger warnings at the scenes that should need them. Please let me know if there are other subjects that need warnings!

Prologue

As three shrill beeps replaced dialing noises, Tom’s anger skyrocketed. He began to pace and repeatedly clench his fists at an attempt to hold back everything he was feeling. 

 “We’re sorry, you’ve reached a number that is either disconnected or no longer linke-“ Tom spun around and threw the phone, sending it flying into his bedroom wall and crashing to the floor. “Goddamnit!” He sat down on the corner of his bed, staring out through the wall-to-wall glass pane that separated him from the rest of the world. The skyline was a vibrant dark blue, turning to purple and black. 

 Every  dollar in his safe he’d worked his ass off to get was gone. There was no trace, no logical reasoning as to how it got stolen. That safe was one of the most protected vaults in the world.

 Natalie, or Natalia as Tom used to call her endearingly, was gone too. 

Disappeared. No word, no warning. 

 Not only had she cheated on him, she robbed him.

 “Tom, what do you want to do to respond?” His best friend and co-leader Harrison asked, frustration clear in his voice.

 “I don’t fucking know. Nothing yet, we’re too vulnerable. We’ll...need alliances.”

 She took his heart out of his chest and walked all over it, puncturing it with her stiletto heels.

 He found out everything she’d done after she left. Of course the man was riddled with sadness and hurt, but the only feeling he let control him was anger.  

He couldn’t be weak. Not now, not ever. 

 After willingly letting her in and finally bringing his guard down, she wrecked him. You know what everyone says? That Natalie Rose Giovanni can never be overthrown. She’s notorious for the lives she takes and everything in between. That she’s untouchable. But in the end, the greatest revenge is going out and accomplishing what is said to be impossible. And that is exactly what he would do.

 This was personal now.

 Natalie, Europe’s top drug queenpin with a terrifying hidden past, versus Thomas Stanley Holland, the most notorious mafia leader in almost every corner of the northern eastern hemisphere. 

 She took everything he had, even some of his very best men.

 His team.

 His power. 

 His reputation. 

 His empire. 

Soon enough, he was going to take every single bit of it back, even if it meant ruining her fucking life. 

 Even if it meant killing her.          

One

“Hang on,” you giggle softly, looking up at the man in front of you. “Why don’t we go back to your room?” 

 His hands had made their way under your thighs and he had you up against a wall, giving him easy access to touch your body. “We’re not exactly in the most private area of the hotel.”

 “If it gets that dress off you, then that’s fine by me,” he replies, kissing down your neck.

 “Eugene!” You push his hands down and stand straight up, smiling coyly at the millionaire while listening for any instructions in your earpiece.

 “You’re doing good. Get the card to his room and be quick with this, (Y/N). This operation has some complications.” 

 “I’m just telling you how I really feel, Allison.” Of all the names Felix could pick for an undercover op, why choose such a plain one? 

 You slip your hand into his pocket, pulling out the key card and tucking it into your bra, all without breaking eye contact with him. “I’ll meet you there in ten,” you whisper in his ear, running a finger down his chest as you walked away.

 “Fucking pig,” you mutter to the man behind the earpiece, making quick time to the elevator.

“Right?” The man in question is Felix Sternberg, (Known as Judas by his “enemies”) one of the most elite proxy murder directors in the world, or at least the most famous among federal government organizations and operations that do things not commonly associated with the human moral code. (Murder, drug dealing, etc.) He’s one of your newest co-workers. The brains behind your newest weapons, technology and escapes. It’s possible that without him, you would’ve been in a supermax prison by now. 

The most intensely protected in the U.S filled with the worst kind of people imaginable.

 People like you.

 “What’s his deal again?” You ask, shaking your head away from the doubting thoughts that often plagued you. 

“Rape, robbery, embezzling, pedophilia, the usual.” Felix says nonchalantly.

 “God, I cannot wait to shower tonight, that’s disgusting...” 

 “You’re also technically a contract murderer for a living, so I don’t know if you’re one to judge, (Y/N).”

“But I’ve never done shit to kids or forced myself on a person. I only kill people who deserve it.” 

“That last part is debatable, but we’re moving on. Wait for the bellboy in the elevator to leave before going up.”

“Sounds good.” 

The red silk dress draped on your body was apart of the job, a request made by the contract. The person who hired you was actually his wife, Valerie Pence. She wasn’t much better than him when it came to money, but once she found out what he’d done, the decision was easy. There also might’ve been infidelity involved in her reasoning.

She’d informed you that the best way to get to him was probably seduction and that his favorite color was red. The combination of the two would make it easy to get him alone. She took you shopping for the dress herself, an odd way of saying thank you (other than money) for the favor. When you stepped out of the changing room to show her, she simply smiled, but her watering eyes displayed a different emotion.

“You look stunning. This’ll work.” You wonder what her thought process was with hiring you, how their relationship came to be and everything in between. Getting personally involved with clients was a beginner’s mistake, but in some cases it was incredibly hard not to even think about what happened between some duos.

“He’s gone, move fast.” Felix interrupts your recollection, snapping you back to your work.

Eventually, you end up in his room, only stopping for a minute to marvel at the lavish decor and to peek around. White silk sheets dressed the king sized bed, complimenting the other colors in the room. Dark reds, black and grey all combined to give the room a sensual and eerie feeling.

Eugene appears soon after, hastily moving toward you, lust in his eyes. “Hang on, let me just go get something ready okay?” You stopped him, one hand steady on his waist the other over his shoulder.

 “Alright...”

“I want you to wear this, though.” You found some questionable fabric, presumably left behind the last hotel-goer, and started to tie it around his eyes as a blindfold. “Now lay here,” you pushed him down on the bed, a little too roughly, but he didn’t question any of it. 

You enter the bathroom swiftly, the door clicking behind you. 

“Felix, where’s my stuff?” You whisper. 

“Underneath the sink. There’s a silenced pistol. The bag has a change of clothes in it and some sunglasses. Put your hair up, too. I have someone ready to tamper with the security footage, but just in case I want you to try and be very discreet and exit through the fire escape. No one should see since you’re on the back of the building. Your ride will be waiting to take you home.”

“Thanks.” You grab the bag and begin to undress, leaving only your satin gloves on. This replaced the fancy dress and heels with what you could only describe as an outfit straight off if 2015 grunge tumblr, doc martens and all. 

Not the worst, but not the best outfit choice.

“I have one more...treat for you you, Mr. Pence.” You call out through the door, smirking to yourself. 4 sets of handcuffed glistened in the bag, and a gag. 

“Thanks for leaving them in there Felix. Did you put her fingerprints on them?” 

“You’re sadistic, but yes. The police and FBI will likely arrest Kathryn and any of her employees. I planted stuff to lead them to the kids. You’re in the clear but you need to get a move on, even if that includes speeding up your ‘process’.”

Kathryn Moseby, a “friend” of the millionaire. She holds a position in congress. She’s also the ringleader of a pedophilic sex trafficking ring. 

“Like I said, he deserves my ‘process’. They all do. I’m doing the world a favor right now.”

“Whatever you say.” 

 You sigh, plucking the bag off the ground and walking back to the bedroom. “I hope you like your girls dominant, Eugene.” You quickly click the handcuff onto his hand and to the bed frame before he could even respond. His breathing started to become uneasy, but he nodded. 

 “It’s new...but I’ll try.” 

“You don’t have a choice.” You whisper, clicking the second handcuff shut. The other two might’ve been too loose, but they’d restrain him. “Final touches,” you smile, climbing into the bed and almost straddling him. He seems taken aback as you jerk the gag tightly to make sure it stays on. “We don’t want anyone to hear us, now do we?” He shakes his head nervously in response.

 As an extra precaution, you switch on the TV to a music station, turning the volume up just enough to mask loud conversations. “Alright Eugene. Let’s begin.” You pick up the pistol and a small knife, crawling on the bed.

You run your fingers along his chin, feeling less gross about touching him because of the fabric between you two.

“I fawt yoo changfed?” He tries to ask in reaction to feeling the gloves, barely audible or intelligible.

“Oh, I did.” You giggle, removing his mask.

[TW: Violence]

He’s shocked, confused, and now scared. His eyes take in your figure and then the gun in your hand. He starts to panic.

“You didn’t think I was gonna let you off easy, did you?” The knife from earlier now glints menacingly in the soft lighting. “I don’t normally do it this slowly, but you’re a special kind of messed up. We’re all fucked up, especially me, but you, you’re a rapist and a pedophile. A cheater. Kind of the scum of the earth.”

He still wasn’t processing his situation entirely, but his chest was rising and falling rapidly. 

He wasn’t screaming. 

He wasn’t begging.

 Yet. 

You jabbed the knife directly above his knee. Angling it towards the bone. This time, his entire body jerked and he started to yell, but the music drowned out his shouts.

“That was for every child and person you’ve ever touched.” You pulled it out, watching the tears stream from his eyes, then ripped past the buttons on his suit shirt. “And this is for Valerie.” 

You slowly carve the knife into his skin, toward the right side of his stomach. It was a number that you carved. 334. 

“I wonder who my 335th will be?” 

“Hey (Y/N), as much as I enjoy tuning your weird shit out and waiting for you, you need to be fast. Like now. We’re cutting our time too close.” 

“I got it.” You frown sarcastically at the pathetic, convulsing man beneath you. “I’d love to stay and chat, but I have to go.” You pull the knife away, wiping the blood off with your gloves. 

The red contrasts the starch white in a disgustingly satisfying way. You stand up, brandishing the pistol excitedly. His screams are becoming increasingly louder, and more annoying. 

Watching him writhe in pain and desperation filled you with a twisted sense of pride. You keep telling yourself that he deserves it to justify your actions, but there’s still that one ounce of innocence in you that rejects those thoughts. 

Then you remember Valerie’s voice on the other end of the phone when she called, tearfully begging for help. She sounded desperate and sad, not angry.

She just wanted him gone. 

Had she tried to divorce him, she might’ve been endangered. If she turned him in for his crimes, he’d send people after her. 

That’s all you need to get the job done.

“I’ll see you in hell.”

Bang.

Please leave feedback! I will gladly accept civil/kind worded constructive criticism. -Ciel

#tomhollandfanfiction #tomhollandxreadersmut #tomhollandxreader #tom holland x reader #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader smut #tom holland mobster #tom holland mob au #peter parker x reader #Mob!Tom #mob!tom smut #assassinau #gangau #mobau #spiderman x reader #spiderman x reader fluff #spiderman x reader smut #marvel fanfiction #marvel #sebastian stan x reader #harrison osterfield #tom holland #tom holland imagine #harrison osterfeild x reader #like4like #Smut #fluff #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #tony stark x reader

[terryblount]

Control Review

What is Control? What makes Control different from other Remedy games? What does it mean to control? Is controlling enjoyable or just another meaningless task. Would you dare to control? Do you like power over others? Do you believe in destiny? Would you attempt to kill yourself for answers or power? Well… Remedy did and they’ve done it gloriously. So did I and so will you. It’s the only way through.

You are a worm though time. The thunder song distorts you. Happiness comes. White pearls, but yellow and red in the eye. Through a mirror, inverted is made right. Leave your insides by the door. Push the fingers through the surface into the wet. You’ve always been the new you. You want this to be true. We stand around while you dream. You can almost hear our words but you forget. This happens more and more now. You gave us the permission in your regulations. We wait in the stains. The word that describes this is redacted. Repeat the word. The name of the sound. It resonates in your house. After the song, time for applause. We build you till nothing remains. The egg cracks and the truth will emerge out of you. You are home. You remind us of home. You’ve taken your boss with your boss with you. All hair must be eaten. Under the conceptual reality behind this reality you must want these waves to drag you away. After the song, time for applause. This cliché is death out of time, breaking the first the second the third the fourth wall, fifth wall, floor; no floor: you fall! How do you say “insane”? Hurts to be happy. An ear worm is a tune you can’t stop humming in a dream: “baby baby baby yeah”. Just plastic. So, safe and nothing to worry about. Ha ha, funny. The last egg breaks now. The hole in your room is a hole in you. You came and we let you in through the hole in you. You have always been here, the only child. A copy of a copy of a copy. Orange peel. The picture is you holding the picture. When you hear this you will know you’re in new you. You want to listen. You want to dream. You want to smile. You want to hurt. You don’t want to be.

Welcome to the Federal Bureau of Control, hold on to your hats, this ride is gonna be nuts!

Story-telling for the Mentally Insane

Before I explain what the hell is going on with the psycho bumble above, let me throw some story over you. You play as Jesse Faden, who visits a building – named “The Oldest House” – of the Federal Bureau of Control (F.B.C.). Soon after your arrival, you find the Bureau director dead with the murder weapon right beside him. Instead of running out of the room in panic, Jesse picks the “service weapon” and attempts to blow her brains out. Instead of the weapon killing her, however, she becomes the director. Just like that Jesse Faden is the newly appointed director of the F.B.C. and all the hanging portraits of the director are swapped with her face.

“They call me the director, but that’s not me.”

Jess after everyone accepts her naturally as the new director.

If you guys played any of Remedy’s games before, you should know how it tends to create complex stories. This time, the story of its latest game even more complicated. Actually… it’s bat shit crazy. My favorite game is probably Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne and, in my opinion, the Max Payne games changed the third-person shooter landscape. Alan Wake was also pretty damn good; I loved its combat mechanics and its story was engaging. As for Quantum Break, there is only one thing to say… “mediocre” (insert Immortal Joe’s voice from Mad Max).

Only in this building an astray can be deadlier than a cigarette. Unless of course Riddick holds that astray.

The SCP Foundation

None of these stories can even scratch the story and lore of Control, which are balls to the wall insane. Control’s story is heavily inspired by the SCP Foundation (Secure, Contain, Protect). If you got some time to spend you should read some of their stuff as they are quite good. Basically “The SCP Foundation is a fictional organization documented by the web-based collaborative-fiction project of the same name”. The amount of stories is crazy and many of these little stories are exceptionally good.

When you are lost in the darkness, look for the light. It will guide you back, probably.

Jesse Faden the New Director of the Nuthouse

Jesse Faden is the only playable character, unfortunately, and let me tell you she is not that interesting. The voice actress is perfectly fine but her performance did not convince me, at all. Jesse has a very basic backstory and nothing in that story is convincing enough to make me believe how cool she is, especially when faced with the unknown scary and insane world she is in. In my opinion, she should be losing her mind from the second she arrived at the Bureau.

“A carousel horse, why kids stuff always so creepy?”

Jess trying to make sense of what the hell she’s actually seeing.

As I said, everything in “The Oldest House” is completely bonkers and Jesse’s behavior seems completely out of place. No sane person would react so logically in a situation like this. Do you remember Alan Wake? That guy was losing his marbles, as he should, in an incident which – compared to Control – feels like a walk in the park. Still, there were some rare and specific occasions when Jesse expressed her feelings by simply saying a “what the fuck”. Unfortunately, these parts are late in the game and also completely optional, so my point still stands.

What?!

Visuals & Controls

In case you don’t already know, I care very little about a game’s visuals. Thankfully John has already posted his performance analysis so I don’t really have to go into more technical details. I’ll just say that the game performs great on my system and that it looks pretty. I do not own an RTX card so I cannot comment on the ray tracing effects. But anyway, I had stable 60fps with everything on high and a couple of options like reflections on medium. I lowered those settings only because the visual difference did not justify the performance hit. Many players have reported several issues with the game, however it appears that I was lucky. The only issues I encountered was a teleport (which is not an obtainable skill) bug and an infinite loading screen, and both of them occurred only once.

Thankfully, the game’s controls were great. Imagine if a game called Control controlled badly. With a bit of remapping it plays wonderfully but why on God’s green earth there is no key for walking? Why oh why Remedy? An area movement restriction in specific locations, where you can bypass it with the sprint key, would be enough. Lastly, it’s unbelievable that there are no settings for motion blur and depth of field. Seriously now?

Hello Kevin! Ha ha ha! Seriously the lighting is amazing.

Audio, Music & Facial Animation

The audio in Control is superb on every level, and all sound effects have been masterfully implemented. Hell, I did not even get the usual audio glitches which I usually get from games by using earphones. The in-game music is minimal as you can only listen to music through radios or in a very specific room. There is only one scripted sequence with music and all the rest is ambient sounds with some very basic music tracks during fights. The voice acting is pretty good; not great, but good enough. Most of the voice actors are pretty convincing with some exceptions. One of these exception is Jesse; I really don’t like Jesse as I explained before. I like the facial animations overall but there were some dialogues, especially at the beginning, that didn’t impress me. On the other hand, Remedy emphasized Jesse’s lip movement to stand out, which looked really nice.

The Heart of the Game

The gameplay in Control is so – god – damn – good. Seriously, these kind of games are very rare these days. The only ones that come to my mind are Second Sight and, of course, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. Those games did psychic powers justice but they got nothing on Control. Control is all about the gameplay, as all games should.

Is that an 8inch floppy disk? God damn I’m old. In case you didn’t know all videos in game are live-action. That’s how you utilize live-action footage. Do you hear me Quantum Break?

Mental Abilities & Destruction

You start with some basic abilities and along the way you get more and more (obviously by completing missions). There are several psychic abilities and some of them have secondary functions. The game features five such abilities; telekinesis, mind control, barrier (shield), melee (force push) and levitation. For example you can unlock an ability that lets you control two minds at the same time or move larger object like forklifts. You can literally grab and throw almost everything you see in the environment and even if there is nothing around you can still rip a concrete junk from the environment and throw it to someone’s face. It is so much fun. Now if I had to choose one power, that would be levitation. I loved levitating above the battlefield and raining destruction upon my enemies; it felt so satisfying. There is also a dash/evade ability (no roll thank god) but, sadly, it is not upgradable.

“Quack if you understand my words.”

Random Bureau agent contacting an interview with a subject.

Now regarding destruction… holy crap, it’s phenomenal. These might be the best destruction mechanics I have ever seen in a single player game. You can literally destroy almost everything and most destroyed objects stay there until you leave the area (something you rarely see in other games). Unfortunately, the bodies do disappear, however they disappear in a cool way. They do not vanish in a lame way as in other games, like Mass Effect: Andromeda for example. The bodies, kind of, evaporate and there is a believable reason behind that phenomenon. To be honest, I’d prefer if they stayed because without them you lose the feeling of success. At least the destroyed environments are still there to remind you what just happened.

Almost everything you break, stays broken. Even when you rip pieces from the floor.

Something I really loved in Control was dashing and watching everything around Jess getting pushed or destroyed by the “movement force“. When you hold an object with telekinesis you can see little pieces of the environment getting pulled in by the telekinesis force, which is super cool. Same goes for when levitating close to objects or structures.

The “Service Weapon”

Regarding the game’s arsenal, there is only one weapon and it is kinda of overkill since Jesse is already a weapon of annihilation. The “Service Weapon”, as it is called, is an Item of Power. These Items can only be used by specific individuals, like the director of the Bureau. Any other person who attempts to interact with such an item will most probably seize to exist in an instant. In the beginning, the weapon acts as a revolver. As you progress, though, you can give it other weapon forms with different characteristics.

“Yes yes, easy peasy!”

Ahti the janitor before sending Jess to lift the lock-down.

Just like the upgradable powers, the Service Weapon has five different forms; revolver, shotgun, machine gun, rifle and grenade launcher. While I tried all of them, I eventually settled on the machine gun and shotgun. Like I said, all of these are upgradable through weapon modifications and by crafting better versions of them. As such, the grenade launcher – for example – can be modified to have larger blast radius for instance. All mods have rarity levels and can be found in the game world. You can also craft mods but they are very expensive in rare resources and the same resources are used for upgrading the weapons.

Shooting Mechanics, Movement & Cover

If there is shooting involved, I always prefer playing in FPP (first person perspective). I am not a great fan of third person shooters, unless of course they are actually good. Thankfully, Control excels on this area, especially when there is no cover and the game pushes you to move around. All guns feel great and unique in terms of handling. If there was something I did not like, it was the shoulder swap; it’s different than what other games do and, unfortunately, it’s not that good. Still, and since this is not a slow paced shooter, I rarely used. And while there isn’t any cover system, you can still take cover and crouch behind things (you cannot “hug” a wall like Gears of War though).

I’ll give this guy the silver medal for his death expression, the gold was given to the guy with the busted radio in Resident Evil 2 Remake.

Standing still is not advisable, something that is also hinted during the loading screen tips. Enemies will rush you and they will use explosives in order to make you leg it. Of course you can play the game as you please. Personally, I used every tool in my disposal and tried to mix different powers which sometimes left me astound. The flow of the combat is amazing as you can shoot an enemy, dash and melee him, levitate and power slam to another, throw a forklift to someone else and use the shield to get some distance while you regain energy. All of these feel natural and blend in amazingly. Hats off to the people responsible for this combat system.

Perfect Balance with No Restrictions

Control does not have any ammunition for your weapon. Instead, every type of weapon has a fixed number of shots. The weapon recharges while not in use and if you use all shots there a slight time penalty (reloading). Same goes for your powers; there is only an energy gauge and nothing more. Just like the weapons, the energy bar replenishes while not using them and there is also a time penalty for using all your energy. The game is forcing you (in a good way) to use both your powers and weapons, without making it impossible to do as you please.

This is how the area map looks like. It can be confusing at the beginning, but you can open it while on the move.

Location (s), Exploration & Collectibles

There is only one location, “The Oldest House”. From start to finish you will be confined in that building. Of course this building is gigantic and you will venture into many different areas, where in many of them the rules of physics make no sense whatsoever. This might make the game a bit monotonous for some people but I did not mind that at all.

“I never liked flamingos, too..pink.”

Jess before facing the..latest pink epidemic

Exploring the federal building is fun and rewarding, even if the game never forces you to do so. There are tons of stuff to find and many of these are cleverly hidden away. There are even hidden places filled with easter eggs. You can find many collectibles that will give you a better insight into the game’s lore and you should probably read these if you want to understand what is going on. After all, the story is not straight forward and can be very complicated at times. Quite frankly these might be some of the most interesting collectibles I have ever read. I usually don’t like reading stuff when playing a game as I prefer something like audio logs. However, all it takes in Control is to read a couple of the documents; after that you will probably be hooked.

Side Missions, Enemies & A.I.

There are three types of side missions: missions given by specific characters, missions found by picking collectibles and ­time based missions with a random objective. None of these missions are mandatory; most of these missions are pretty basic, however, they give you the chance to obtain valuable resources. I did them all just because I couldn’t get enough of the combat. Now if you don’t fancy that, you can simply rush forward and only do the main missions. If you choose not to complete some of the side missions you might lose some important stuff. Some of these missions even hide a boss battle and believe me you will want to meet these “bosses”.

This is probably the creepiest thing I ever seen in a video game lately. Seriously it gave me goosebumps again while I was typing this. By the way this video was meant for children.

Speaking of bosses there are not many; if I remember correctly you only face one true boss in the main story but I do not want to give more details as we’ll be entering a “spoilers” area. The regular enemy (HISS) variation is not bad, but it could definitely be better. There is even one enemy who I did not manage to destroy no matter how hard I tried.

“Do you feel it? Something is coming.”

Jess getting the “feeling” while she walk into a dark corridor.

Remember that paranoid second paragraph of the review? Well, there are people floating all over the place, chanting that incantation all the frigging time. And I loved it. If you shoot they will stop for a second. If you shoot them, they will disappear but they will eventually re-appear. Whoever thought of that has my respect, because it changes the perspective and feeling of each room.

It think I run into Criss Angel’s family.

Unfortunately, the A.I. is nothing special. You can lure enemies in a corridor or you can bait them through corners. The A.I. is designed to challenge you when you are on the move. When things work as intended, the combat feels great. Still, the A. I. could be way more advanced than what we got.

Control

I will be honest; I adored this game even though it is not perfect. Jesse is totally unlikeable… at least until the very end. The voice acting is not always great and the facial animations of Jesse lack emotion, especially you compare them to Emily’s (except the first time you meet her; she is a bit creepy and not the good kind of creepy).

This is Emily and we really like her. We wish we could play her instead of Jesse.

The map is very Metroidvania and may not be very accessible to people that are not familiar with these type of games. There is also backtracking and I know that some of you hate that. Still, the good news here is that there is a fast travel mechanic. Moreover, you cannot manually save as the game saves automatically and every time you die you have to start over from the last checkpoint, which might be troublesome for some players. Lastly there is no difficulty levels and the game can be a bit hard at some points, especially if you haven’t upgraded your powers and weapons. On a side note, I would really love if they added a new game+ mode with increased difficulty in a future patch.

“Finally! No more quacking.”

Jess after she’s done with..it.

There are several things I did not fully explain or even mentioned in this review in order to avoid spoilers. There are many parts of the game that will probably surprise you or even leave you speechless, so I don’t want to take that away from you.

I also don’t know if you guys watched the promotional videos of the game but most gameplay videos did not represent the actual quality of the final game. My initial thought before playing the game was “god damn it this is gonna suck”. However, I am glad I was wrong because Control might be the best Remedy game to date.

Awesome weapon designs

Hundreds of collectables

Fitting music and sounds

Memorable boss battles

Superb psychic powers

Fluent combat system

Destruction & physics

Hours of exploration

Great performance

Compelling story

Interesting lore

Level design

Unlikable Protagonist

No difficulty setting

Some backtracking

No manual save

Map design

Exclusivity

                Computer Specs: CPU: i5 4440, GPU: Palit 1660Ti OC 6GB, RAM: G.Skill Ripjaws X 16GB HDD: Crucial 275GB MX300, OS: Win7, 1080p

Playtime: 20+ hours total. That’s a guess by the way, since Epic’s launcher has no timer.

The post Control Review appeared first on DSOGaming.

Control Review published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[samashni-blog]

Tumblr post, May 17th

This week, I got the feeling that a common theme was intersectionality in relation to disability. Mingus state that “[her] story is just as much a story about Korean adoptees… as it is a story about disability… feminism and queerness and growing up on a rural island outside of the U.S. mainland.” She cannot separate her identities. Each one affects the other, and in turn becomes part of the other. Your disability will affect your place in mainstream feminism. Your socioeconomic class will determine how your disability is handled. We see the idea of money being equated to one’s life mattering (a haunted power dynamic that still blatantly haunts us, especially in healthcare) in Erevelles’ story.

As Erevelles was saying, though her friend Thomas had a potentially non-fatal form of cancer, he could not afford his medical treatment and was not given access to the same high-quality facilities. The people compare Thomas who had lung cancer and Robert who had terminal brain cancer, some may say that Thomas is in a much better situation. But how can one compare their situations, when so many other factors come into play, such as social class?

“Robert’s diagnosis impacted almost all aspects of our family life” Here, Erevelles describes how her entire family was affected by her husband’s brain tumor. Everything changed for them, and they had to learn to live again with and through this new complication. This orphaned beginning of navigating life with and as disabled Black man (who now is especially targeted due to his disability amplifying his dangerous presence) is a part of their lived experience as one whole unit.

Author of “Disability Justice’ Is Simply Another Term for Love” spoke about liberatory access. Liberatory access is an ideal that I agree with. It is the idea that disability should be met with more than simply adherence to the bare minimum out of obligation. Not only to speak in politically correct terms, but to want to use inclusive language. To not just have a wheelchair ramp, but to understand and reverse why it is needed in the first place. Instead of “being met with empty silence,” we (meaning others and I) can “be able to truly engage” in dialoguing these experiences and situations.

Additionally, I believe that for the future to be truly liberatory, we must stop thinking of disability as something to fix. For most of my life, I have been thinking about the word “disability” and how it describes something that is solely wrong with the disabled person, something that must be fixed, it possible. But at five years old, I developed hearing loss and became permanently deaf in my right ear. While it does present challenges in my everyday life, I do not think it is something about myself that needs to be fixed. Rather, society’s expectations of me taking full responsibility to deal with all implications of my hearing loss instead of empathetically equilibrating to my situation is what causes my to have disability. 

I would like to add the term “disability” to the glossary. A disability is a term given to those who have a mental or physical difference than what is deemed normal. It was termed disability because those with it are seen as not being able to do basic human functions. Instead of society changing to fit all people, including the differently-abled, it has marked the disabled as Others the must be fixed or destroyed through Western medicine and science.

[skeletonsinherheart]

Let's play.

Is this how it will begin? As a laugh? As a joke?

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Can I steer straight ahead? Have I checked all the mirrors?

Do you think you can play better than me?

Because I don't think you realize what I am. Will you chase it? Alas, no one ever does. Though this is not the allowed choice so I'm told. Go back to everything before me. Back to before I leveled your being, taking everything with me, because your everything is all that I want. But it will never be mine. And to be honest, the sooner I wrap my head around it and stop looking back, the better.

Is that why you won't let me go? My hope? My utter and complete desire to submit because you know that I will? To try obtain even the smallest piece of you? Every piece, any piece. That you know I will do anything for. And I do. I keep doing it...I literally can't help myself.

Do you feed off of it? My pining? My utter all encompassing, consuming desire for what isn't mine? For you. For every potential possibility that I so lovingly wrote down for you to consider, and that you know I'll clamor for. Because, like you, I always get what I want.

You like that don't you?

I would. Someone's utter and complete desire to give every part of themselves to you, for someone to willingly present every piece of their being for you on a silver platter. Who wouldn't want that? And if you were to let me go, I would disappear, as would all of the rest. All of that awe and adoration. And it seems to me that at this point, that is not something you can do. As much as I can't let go, you can't either, can you?

The thing is though...with me...it's more than that, isn't it? It's more than just the simple fact that I'm a compliant sub. That I do whatever you ask, and the fact that we found each other at a time when you realized that bit of your life had been lacking. And now that I think about it, a time when my life had been lacking as well...just differently.

I am more than that. Logistics be damned. That is what I am. I am more. I am everything.

Do you ever wonder what it would be like. Would you tell me if you did? Most likely not. As you've said, if you let those walls down, things would get a whole lot more complicated. True, they would. But I know you've thought about it. It's all already complicated.

Do you think that she could ever want you as fiercely? The way you so desire to be wanted? I carry two different worlds within me that sit at your fingertips. All the sentimental candy floss of domestication, and everything that goes along with it. Living together, sharing chores, splitting bills. Stupid necessary adult shit. And then the fun adult shit comes into play. The kind of things that are starting to make rainy days harder for me, much as I'm in love with them. Things I've already described.

And then...you could also have every fucked up fantasy your brain has sought to conceive of. Mine too. As they seem to be much the same. Every terrible, depraved, monstrous thing you've ever thought to birth into existence that you thought you'd never be able to make tangible.

A life with me would mean that you get to have both of these things. For the rest of your life, if that's what you wanted.

Because with me, it would be everything. Everything we have, in addition to everything you already do.

Do you try to think it away like me? Ha, stupid question. Of course you do. Do you try to bury it underneath your other life? Atleast you have a distraction, I've got nothing but you. Atleast it doesn't claw at the walls of your psyche. Or, maybe it does.

Hope is dangerous, and it's all I've ever had for some time now. But what use is it? What am I even clinging to? Clinging to second best? Always the bridesmaid, never the bride? The other woman? No. That is not what I am, though it is what I am allowing. What the fuck am I thinking? Do you have any idea what I'm capable of? Do you want to find out?

By all means, yank on these chains. My chains, your chains. Pinning me to the ground. Break out the padlock. Close it around my neck. Pull me back and remind me of my place, right? Remind me who I am. Remind me that I am not the one who comes first. Remind me that I am forced to watch someone else live the life that I should have had. Should have.

Is it innocence? Is that the reason I am so absolutely condemned? Because I'm not? And she is? It's incomprehensible. It is not where you belong. You and I are two of a kind, creatures of our own blood. I can always smell my own.

And if there is anything that I know, it is that you belong in the darkness with me.

Steel the anger beneath my chest and let the vitriol seer away my skin, and keep it here and only here, forever only the written word. Every bleak moment I let rise to the surface, even just the mere seconds in between the laughter, the venom begins to seep through my pores and I am reminded of what anger is. Anger is her telling me that in the end I'll blame myself, that not feeling good enough will tear me inside out. Entrails to bloodshot eyes, and all that will be left of me is nothing. It isn't fair. God, it's not fair.

And all of this shit...all of this angry, negative, stupid poetic nonsense, this is where it all pours out. Because it's the only place it can afford to go. It is the only safe place. It cannot say inside of my head, it can hardly come out to even those close few who do know, though none of them the true extent. Ha. Hardly. Granted, I know it still eats at me. It always does. And probably always will. But what else can I do? It just feels like it's all the same shit. All the same words and all the same feelings, all fucked up and nowhere to go. But they're mine. My thoughts, my feelings...Christ. Though, you own all of those too don't you?

Why so serious?

I can't do this.

I hope you find all the colors of my threads beautiful as you watch me come undone.

You're the tear in my heart, I'm alive

You're the tear in my heart, you're a carver

You're a butcher with a smile

Cut me farther

Than I've ever been