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hihimissamericanbi · 3 months

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FAVE HP SMUT CREATORS

Ever since I got that lovely anon asking for the best smut I've ever read, it got me thinking about some of my favorite smut creators in general.

So here is a very non-exhaustive list of fan-fucking-tastic smut writers and artists I've come across in the HP fandom that weren't mentioned (shamefully) in my last batch. Feel free to add to the list! We must keep the people fed.

xoxo go take a sip of cold water girl

WRITERS

@spookymoonie

Lord Espooky came into this fandom guns a-blazing with their kink headcanon a day for Wolfstar and it has spiraled from there. They GET IT. He has a super well-organized masterlist pinned to his tumblr ft tons of different kinks, fic lengths, scenes, etc. Go. Now.

@fiveht

The definition of IYKYK. Daddy kink isn't super my thing, but Five makes me enjoy it. If you vibe with age gap daddy Remus and pretty boy Sirius, their Adore series is a must-read. They also have a stellar A/B/O Wolfstar fic plus podfic and write some Marvel too!

@greenvlvetcouch

An absolute legend in this fandom. Wolfstar, Jeggy, Rosekiller. Gritty, chewy, embodied sex.

@emeryhall

Emery writes sex the way some people breathe. Like it's just part of the narrative. It's SO punchy. And also she is the queen of Crack Smut.

@kaaaaaaarf

Patron saint of Wolfstar hatefucks. mic drop.

@cancerravenclaw

We snagged MK over to Wolfstar from the clutches of Dramione. Her series "mk's kink exposé" could also be called "celine's kink exposé." I'll just leave that there.

@wolfpants

Everything they create is magic, but they are especially known for rare pairs and Dronarry.

WRITERS AND ARTISTS

@aspiring-artist-em

The queen of Lesbian Wolfstar. Both art and fic. Also queen of humiliation and pain kink and Walburga psychological trauma. ye be warned.

@upthehillnsfw / @upthehillart

I am afraid no one is ready for this art. Truly. Tons of different ships, positions, acts. I gasp every time. And their Pansmione fic is epic (which I have talked about before).

ARTISTS

@industrations

I highly recommend getting on Indi's Patreon so you can enjoy their NSFW drawings, mostly Wolfstar and Jegulus, occasional Rosekiller. Too many iconic moments to count.

@waxingrunes

The officially-sponsored artist of Five's Adore series. Look, their work is nothing short of indulgent. Shhhh don't worry about the physics just let it happen. And by It I mean Remus' big dick hands.

@basiatlu

By beloved. The one. The only. Bosh's drawings are so ALIVE. They leap off the screen. Her Drarry is nothing less than iconic. She also dabbles in other characters/ships like Wolfstar and Blackcest. Siriusly, you can't go wrong.

DRARRY SMUT

OKAY, Drarry people. There are so so many excellent Drarry smut writers it is impossible to name them all. Here are but a tiny handful I have pulled from my bookmarks. I'm happy to rec specific fics if asked :)

@cavendishbutterfly, @bixgirl1, @l0vegl0wsinthedark, @shiftylinguini, @kbrick, @fluxweeed, @academicdisasterfic

I'm tagging those other creators from older asks because I can't put this list out there without them on it <3

@crushofdoves @we-are-swearwolves @tenthousandyearsx @theresthesnitch @lqtraintracks Quietlemonhush @cuddlebugsirius

#celine spills #celine's library #smut recs #hp smut #wolfstar smut #drarry smut #jegulus smut #HI FRIENDS i love you all #celine's flirting again #fic recs #hp fic recs #fan art #hp fanart #wolfstar art #drarry art #jegulus art

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pandorcas-endgame · 2 years

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Sirius: You may be mother and father's favourite child but I'm Remus and James's favourite person.

Regulus, smirking: Is that so?

Remus: You know I might switch brothers.

Sirius, shocked and horrified: Moony, how could you?! At least I have James that will never betray me!

James, sweating nervously: I plead the fith?

Sirius: At least I'm for sure Peter's favourite person.

Peter, always down to help create chaos: Well your brother is better looking.

Sirius: You're all traitors. So mean, all of you.

Regulus: You know, Remus, if you ever did want to see what it's like to date the better looking brother...

Sirius: *throws a pillow at Regulus's head*

James, definitely not jealous: Now, wait a second!

#platonic remus and regulus friendship >>>>>#regulus and remus making sirius and james jealous >>>>#they would definitely flirt just to make them jealous and enjoy every second of it #peter is absolute chaos and we love young peter in this house #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #peter pettigrew #wolfstar #marauders era #jegulus #starchaser #the marauders #incorrect marauders quotes #regulus is a little shit

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bri-cheeses · 1 month

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Evan’s busy reaching across the bar for a couple of drinks, arm outstretched and easy smile on his face, when Regulus walks up next to him.

“Two butterbeers, please,” Regulus nods to the bartender.

Evan turns his head in surprise, clearly not expecting to have been followed. “I was getting you guys drinks, you know. You didn’t have to get up.”

“Yeah, I know. But I needed a bit of a break from all… that.” Regulus tilts his head towards a booth in the corner, indicating the chaos currently taking place there. He’s just escaped the aftermath of Barty attempting to flirt with Remus just to make Sirius mad, which has not ended well. Just like Barty intended. Honestly, Regulus doesn’t know why he puts up with him.

Regulus opens his mouth to continue, feeling somewhat hesitant. He’s not sure how Evan will react to what he’s about say, but he’s going to try anyways. “And also because I wanted to ask you something in private. Or at least, away from them.”

“Hold on,” Evan replies. The bartender’s just handed him his drinks, and he’s trying to find a way to carry them. “Okay, carry on.”

Regulus doesn’t waste any time. “You’re in love with Barty.”

Evan doesn’t look up from the drinks, not giving Regulus’s accusation even a slight reaction. “That wasn’t much of a question, Reg.”

If Regulus didn’t know better, he’d say Evan was completely unbothered by this whole situation. But he does know better, and Evan’s completely straight face as he fiddles with the glasses is a dead giveaway.

“You’re not going to deny it?” He’s genuinely curious. It’s unlike Evan to not, at the very least, try to avoid answering directly.

“Why would I? It’s the truth, and I know you’re not going to tell him.”

“But you’re not really the type of person to be okay with… sharing this sort of thing.”

Evan looks up now, small smile making its way to his face. “No, I’m usually not. But honestly it’s been going on so long that it’s more trouble than it’s worth to keep it hidden. From you, at least.”

“I—” he pauses, not entirely sure what to do with that. “How long has this been a thing?”

“Oh, about…” Evan squints, as if he can look back in time and pinpoint the exact moment it started. “Five years now?”

“Five years?”

“Don’t sound so surprised, Reg.”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because it’s really not that out of character for me.”

Evan flashes another smile and makes to leave, but Regulus blurts out, “Why haven’t you done anything about it? If it’s been so long?”

Evan glances over at their booth. Regulus follows his gaze, where Barty is now gesturing wildly with his hands in what is probably an attempt to avoid death at Sirius’s hands.

“Because,” Evan says, still looking at Barty, “it would ruin our relationship.”

He sounds so resigned to the fact that Regulus’s heart clenches. He feels like a bad friend. He had no idea, absolutely none, that Evan had been feeling this way for such a long time. “You can’t know that.”

Evan looks back at him, amused expression on his face as he asks, “Can’t I? It’s Barty; even if he did feel the same way—which he doesn’t—he would never be able to let himself commit to a relationship. The fear and discomfort would eat him alive. You know that.”

Regulus does, in fact, know that. But it doesn’t stop him from wanting to fix this, somehow. From wanting to try to get Evan to fight for a chance, at the very least. “But you’re Evan. There used to be be bets about when you guys would finally sort out your shit and start going out.”

Evan blinks, clearly not having known that.

“And it wasn’t because people knew you were in love with him—hell, I didn’t even know that—it was because of the way you both look at and act around each other. And I know that you’re too smart to have not noticed any of that, Evan.”

“Well. Maybe. But that’s also just who he is. He looks at practically everyone like that, acts like that with everyone. So you can stand there and tell me that I’m special, but I’m always going to see that for what it is. A lie, Regulus. And I don’t need you to lie to me. This whole thing is already bad enough already, I don’t need you adding to it, too.”

“But—”

“Don’t, Regulus. Just don’t.”

Regulus changes tactics. “How can you stand it?”

Evan gives a sad smile. “Like you said; I’m Evan. I’m always going to be in love with him, no matter what he does, really. And he’s Barty, so he’s going to do a lot of shit. But that’s just the way things are, I suppose.”

“So you’re just going to let him shatter your heart and stomp all over it?”

Evan smiles bitterly. “He’s been doing that for years, Reg. You’re a bit late to the game.”

Regulus hates this, hates Evan’s defeated tone and tired eyes. “How are you just so calm about this? Don’t you hate it?”

Evan considers that. “I did, for a while. I spent a long, long time hating it. But it only cost me energy I couldn’t afford to lose, and it didn’t change anything in the end.”

And there’s not a lot Regulus can say in response to that, so instead he eyes Evan: the regretful smile, the sad slump of his shoulders, and the way his body is subconsciously turned towards Barty, even now. “Are you… going to be okay?”

“Of course, Reg, why would you even ask?” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “This is just the hand life has dealt me. I’m used to it by now. You might as well get used to it, too. Nothing’s going to change between Barty and me.”

And with that, he shoulders past Regulus, drinks in hand. And Regulus watches him go, unable to unsee how painfully in love Evan is. He watches the way Barty’s entire face lights up when he sees Evan, he watches the soft smile Evan gives Barty in return, and he prays to anyone who’s listening that Evan will turn out to be wrong.

#rosekiller #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #regulus black #slytherin skittles #marauders #i woke up and chose angst today idk #also wolfstar my loves <33 #Barty definitely would flirt with Moony just to make Sirius mad lol #poor evan

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daddiesdrarryy · 1 year

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Sirius: Guys, this is my baby brother, Regulus

Remus & Peter: Hi

James: What is it? Regulus? Reggie? Regulius?

Regulus: …

James: Tell me what are your hopes and dreams?

Regulus: …

James: Are you warm? I'm a little, uh, I'm a little warm right now *takes off his shirt*

Remus: Don't, Prongs-

Sirius: What the hell are you doing?

James, flexing: Oh yeah, there it is

Regulus: Please put your shirt back on. Please don't make me laugh at you.

James: Can I hit you up with some tea? A little herb tea? Merlin. How good is that, for real, what? A little herbal tea? Yum, right? Hot, sweet, a little teabag action. And I wasn't talking about—

Sirius: IF YOU DON’T STOP, JAMES-

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ifyoucandaniel · 1 year

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Just thinking fantasy au things????? Oh my god I actually have so so many ideas?????? Likeafunerall is going to be my downfall

Ac: likeafunerall

#just thinking Sirius is the crown Prince who runs away so escape his duty and his family #he fakes his own death and leaves with his body guard and best friend James #regulus takes his place as the crown Prince and thinks Sirius is dead like everyone else #they meet Peter as he’s getting mugged and save him and he joins them #they go on some adventures and shit <3 #one day they’re staying at an inn and the owner is rly hot and Sirius tries to flirt with him #remus ofc shuts that shit down and Pete and James are laughing their asses off in the back #marauders #sirius black #wolfstar #remus lupin #regulus black #james potter #jegulus #likeafunerall is definitely going to be the death of me

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saintchaser · 6 months

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sirius’ elbows are resting against the windowsill, a cigarette between the fingers of one of his crossed arms. he brings it up to his face, and inhales, and exhales, and looks at remus.

and invites him to take a drag too. remus takes it between his thumb and forefinger with less elegance than sirius, and looks at him as he exhales through his nose, the smoke coming out looping and twisting in the air.

remus wants to say something. he wants to tell sirius all he feels, or how he loves him, or just kiss him, because sirius is magic. he’s stardust and tobacco and the rain that pours down his neck like a column, he’s the crisp morning air and marble and the adrenaline coursing through his veins as he screams, loud, because maybe then someone would hear him.

instead, he smiles; sirius grins as an answer, and tucks a loose curl behind remus’ ear.

“are you letting your hair grow out?” he asks, pressing his back to the cold wall of the astronomy tower. remus feels small under sirius’ piercing gaze, so he settles on looking at his boots.

“i don’t know.” he shrugs. “haven’t thought about cutting it much. doesn’t really bother me as much as it used to.”

“it looks good,” he said, and remus feels his cheeks heating up, from down to his neck, taking over his ears. “really good, i mean. makes the greens in your eyes more vibrant.”

“thank you,” he mutters, his eyes still not meeting sirius’, now knowing that, for him, looking into remus’ eyes was a regular occurrence, because the green in remus’ eyes wasn’t something all that noticeable.

sirius hums. remus wants to kiss him. he doesn’t.

#me when they’re oblivious to the other’s stupid ways of flirting #me when they’re stupid teenagers in love #me when #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #my writing

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bimoonphases · 1 month

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@wolfstarmicrofic March 31 – prompt 31: Veritaserum – word count 383

Veritaserum - Forces the taker to tell the truth

It had been Peter’s idea to pinch a vial of Veritaserum from Slughorn’s supply room and use it to make the spin the bottle Sirius had requested for his birthday a bit more interesting. Even Remus had agreed to play, and they had been going around the circle of people Sirius had invited for quite some time now. So far, a lot of crushes from their first years at Hogwarts had been revealed, Peter had managed to make Evan Rosier blush, Mary had very candidly said she regretted never having gotten the chance to sleep with Remus, Regulus was learning way too much about his brother’s sex life and Barty had propositioned pretty much everyone at least twice. Still, James’s original plan, to somehow push Sirius and Remus to confess their undying love for each other and put everyone else who had to deal with their longing stares and complete lack of action on both parts out of their misery, wasn’t working as well as he had hoped. It was Lily’s turn again to spin and the bottle ended up pointing at Remus.

“I had a crush on you in first year and actually fantasised about our wedding,” she said really fast, blushing furiously.

This time, James knew Sirius had reached his breaking point a couple of seconds before he snapped.

“Are you all in love with Moony?” he exclaimed.

James opened his mouth, but Regulus was faster.

“I don’t know,” he said, looking his brother in the eye. “Are you?”

“Of course I am, what stupid question is that?” Sirius blurted out.

A stunned silence followed, only broken by James and Peter high-fiving.

“You what?” Remus said in a strangled voice.

“I… Fuck,” Sirius groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

No one moved or spoke for some minutes, so James rolled his eyes. It seemed the job wasn’t quite done after all.

“I think he said he’s in love with you, Moony,” he paused then went for the kill. “Aren’t you too?”

“Of course I’m love with hi-”

Remus clamped a hand over his mouth as Sirius looked up from his hands.

“You are?”

Remus just nodded and Sirius shifted closer, delicately peeling his hand away from his mouth before leaning in and kissing him. The Common Room erupted in cheers.

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oxydiane · 2 years

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remus: there’s only one empty chair

james: you can sit on padfoot’s lap

sirius: are you flirting with remus for me?

james: SOMEBODY has to

#sirius had girls ogling at him in snape’s memory but never even looked at them back #like get out of my face w this sirius was a heartthrob who flirted with anything that breathed bs #i know him. i know him personally he was awful at it #but james is always there for his bro #harry potter #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin #marauders #marauders era #wolfstar #marauders incorrect quotes #incorrect wolfstar #incorrect harry potter #incorrect marauders #incorrect marauders quotes

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missmoonfrost · 3 months

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Worse at flirting then ever - a wolfstar microfic

@wolfstarmicrofic

February 16 - flirt - 296 words

Sirius sighed at himself in the mirror trying to fix his hair. To messy. To flat. Maybe if he put a little water in it? No, that just looked stupid.

What happened to the ever-charming Sirius Black who could win anyone’s heart with a smile and a little sweet talk? Well, since one of his own closest friends had gone and become so attractive it was ridiculous, and he for once really needed to know how to flirt, he seemed to have lost the ability altogether.

Still horribly self-conscious, Sirius went back to his friends in the corridor, waiting for Transfigurations to start. Remus smiled at him before continuing the conversation. Sirius loved that smile. He needed more of that smile. But all he managed to do was pull at the hem of his robe, tousle his hair, and sigh wistfully.

Students began moving into the classroom. In an attempt at something he leaned at the wall just in front of Remus, stopping him. “Ehm… Hi.”

“Hi,” Remus smiled, “did you want to say something?”

He had tried to say something all week, but with those eyes looking at him it was just impossible. He shifted the weight on his feet and somehow dropped Transfigurations book to the floor with a bang loud enough for the last students pouring into class to turn their heads.

Had he worried about forgetting how to flirt? Apparently, he’d lost the ability to hold an unmoving object and form a coherent sentence as well. He felt his cheeks heat as he bent down and retrieved his book. Too embarrassed to lift his eyes from the floor he was totally unprepared for what happened next.

Remus quickly leaned in, kissed him on the cheek, and said: "You're cute when you're nervous.”

#wolfstar #wolfstar microfic #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #sirius × remus #flirt

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soloorganaas · 11 months

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You think Remus is good flirt but not Sirius? Can I hear more of your thoughts about this??

rolls up sleeves gets out thesis notes yes you absolutely can!!!

so remus is canonically very charming. he’s funny, he’s easygoing, he makes people feel good. he’s quietly confident and has a latent power about him but his energy is also very safe and comforting (by design!! a manipulative king). and as i said he’s a good performer and he knows how to read people very well. i don’t think he goes around ostentatiously hitting on people, but he’s very good at being naturally flirtatious

sirius on the other hand is not charming at all. at every age we witness him he’s a complete dick. and it’s because he’s never had to be charming, he’s hot and he’s powerful so he doesn’t need to win anyone over. he doesn’t ever try to make people feel good - he’s an asshole to basically everyone he meets. he’s funny for sure but in a really dry sarcastic way, not one that has people giggling and twirling their hair unless they’re deeply deluded about his personality. the only person he’s good at flirting with is remus and that’s because he knows him incredibly well, they have a lot of chemistry, they’re very in love, and at like 16 sirius realises he really wants to fuck him so he learns how to win him over

#sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #the idea that sirius is charming and a good flirt comes entirely from the fact that he’s hot #hot people are generally not charming #people already like them because they’re hot #hotness holds SUCH power #the only people I know who are hot and charming are neurodivergents #who learnt to be charming bc they had to learn to mask #anyway #ch: we choose who we really are #ch: it made all the difference in the world #hp #hp meta

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impishtubist · 1 year

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hello @soloorganaas this is very rough and very unedited but I was seized by the need to cause some anti-R/T chaos and what better day to do that than on your birthday <3 here’s an OOTP missing-scene ficlet for you.

----

“They’d make a cute couple, wouldn’t they?”

Sirius follows Molly’s gaze, but he only sees Remus and Tonks sitting together by the fire, heads bent over a book.

“Who?”

“Remus and Tonks!” she whispers. “Don’t you think so?”

Sirius laughs, but Molly doesn’t. “Wait, really? You can’t be serious.”

She frowns at him. “There’s no need to sound so incredulous. There are many people out there who’d be lucky to have him as a partner! Besides, he needs someone to look after him, the poor dear. He’s your best friend. You should be encouraging this!”

“Encouraging this,” Sirius repeats, bemused. “Right. Sure thing, Molly. I’ll just go…do some encouraging.”

***

The next morning, Sirius wakes Remus up with breakfast in bed.

“What’s all this?” Remus asks groggily, staring at the three trays that are sitting on the bed, all of them overflowing with food.

“Apparently, you’re not being looked after properly,” Sirius says darkly.

“Did Molly tell you that?” Remus asks, his expression softening. He draws Sirius into a gentle kiss. “You look after me just fine, love.”

Sirius grunts, but he’s heartened slightly when Remus picks up a plate of eggs and digs into them.

“Er…Moony, have you noticed anything going on with Tonks lately?” he asks.

“Tonks? No,” Remus says, his brows knitting together in confusion.

“You don’t think she’s acting unusual or anything?”

“I don’t think so, but I don’t spend all that much time with her. Something wrong?”

Remus doesn’t know, then. He hasn’t caught on that Tonks has been flirting with him. Sirius could tell him…or he could wait and see how this plays out.

“Nope,” he says, plucking a grape from a bowl of fruit and popping it into his mouth. “Nothing at all.”

***

Sirius enters the kitchen one morning to find Remus leaning a hip against the countertop, deep in conversation with Tonks, who is standing far closer to him than is necessary given the otherwise-empty room.

“Listen, Remus, I--” Tonks breaks off as soon as she notices Sirius.

“Morning,” Sirius says cheerfully, biting back a smile. “You two look cozy.”

“We are,” Tonks says, crossing her arms, “and we’re having an important conversation--”

“Oh, don’t let me interrupt you. Pretend I’m not here.” Sirius busies himself with the kettle. “Rem, you want your usual?”

“Afraid not. I’m on guard duty.” Remus checks his watch. “In fact, I should be off. I’ll see you later tonight.”

“I’ll be here,” Sirius says dryly.

As soon as the door swings shut behind Remus, Tonks rounds on him.

“Cockblocked by my own cousin!” Tonks hisses, pinching his arm. “Can’t you read the room?”

Sirius lifts an eyebrow at her, nonplussed. “Sorry, were you about to shag Remus in the kitchen at--” he checks his watch “--nine in the morning?”

Tonks blushes. “No, but he was about to kiss me! I know it! And now he’s on guard duty for the rest of the day, and I’ve got the night shift later.”

“Tough break,” Sirius says. “Better luck next time, Tonks.”

***

Dumbledore, in a rare display of magnanimity, allows Harry to spend the holidays at Grimmauld. Harry’s friends decide they want to come with him, too, and so the house is once again overrun with Weasleys. Sirius is grateful for the company, he is, and there’s enough going on that he mostly manages to avoid Molly.

The festivities start well before the twenty-fifth. The kids arrive on the fourth night of Hanukkah, and Sirius is delighted to finally be able to share this part of himself with his godson. He recites the prayers while Remus shows Harry how to light the candles, and then they open presents, and after that Harry has a million questions that Sirius is only too happy to answer.

Remus and Sirius bought Harry a joint present for Christmas, too. It’s not their holiday, but it was James and Lily’s, and they want to keep that alive for him. Harry greets them with a hug when they come downstairs on Christmas morning and starts gushing about his new defense books, and Sirius has to blink back tears.

The party gets underway soon after that. Sirius levitates his gramophone downstairs and puts Remus in charge of music, and then he starts mixing drinks while Molly brings out tray after tray of food. The kids break out some games, and various members of the Order trickle in throughout the day.

“Ugh, Sirius!” Harry complains the third time he’s caught under a sprig of rogue mistletoe. The first time had been with George, which had made Harry blush furiously, and the second time had been Molly, who had kissed him on the cheek. “This is embarrassing!”

Sirius gives him a loud, smacking kiss on the forehead, much to Harry’s chagrin. The mistletoe releases them and floats off to find a new set of victims. “Sorry, sprog. I’m not the one who charmed it.”

“Can’t you do anything about it?”

“I can try,” Bill volunteers, but Molly quickly intervenes.

“No, no, leave it,” she says, and Sirius narrows his eyes at her. “It’s all in good fun.”

“You…want us to leave up the mistletoe that Fred and George enchanted to be a pain in everyone’s arse?” Sirius asks incredulously. “You hate their pranks, Molly!”

“Not this one,” Molly hisses at him, casting a significant look over at Remus. Tonks has drifted over to him and is flipping through some of the albums he’s brought down, asking him about the various bands.

Sirius turns away so she doesn’t see him roll his eyes.

It’s maybe half an hour later when it finally happens--the sprig of mistletoe traps both Remus and Tonks underneath it. Tonks, blushing furiously, tilts her head up for a kiss. Remus takes her hand instead and presses a kiss to the back of it, and the mistletoe releases them.

Sirius hopes that would be the end of it, but somehow Tonks only gets more starry-eyed.

“He’s such a gentleman,” she says quietly to Sirius later as he mixes her another drink.

“He certainly is,” Sirius agrees. It takes a lot for Remus to drop that gentlemanly demeanor, and usually doesn’t happen until Sirius is balls-deep in him.

Kingsley Shacklebolt comes up to Sirius’s makeshift bar a few minutes later, and that’s when Sirius gets an idea.

“Find an excuse to get caught with me under that mistletoe,” Sirius murmurs in his ear as he passes over the drink, “and I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Alright,” Kingsley says easily. Good man, Kingsley. Knows when to ask questions, and when to leave well enough alone.

Sirius has endured watching Tonks touch Remus’s shoulder, arm, or wrist no less than fifteen times when the mistletoe appears over his head again, and Kingsley appears at his side. Sirius cups the other man’s face and gives him a thorough snog. Kingsley’s big hands rest on his waist, and he gives as good as he gets, leaving Sirius more than a little breathless.

The mistletoe zooms off, and Kingsley draws back.

“Did it help?” he murmurs. Sirius spots Remus over Kingsley’s shoulder, his expression stormy.

“We’re about to find out,” he murmurs back.

“Excuse me,” Remus says, inserting himself between Kingsley and Sirius. “I need to have a word with Sirius.”

“Oh?” Sirius says. “A word about what, Remus?”

Remus kisses him. For a man allergic to public displays of affection, he certainly doesn’t seem to mind it right now, kissing Sirius until Sirius is dizzy with it.

“Er, Remus,” Tonks says. “The mistletoe is gone. You can stop kissing him now.”

Remus breaks away from Sirius and raises an eyebrow at her. “I’ll kiss my boyfriend as often as I like, thanks.”

Tonks’s mouth drops open.

“Boyfriend?” she squeaks.

“Is that a surprise?”

“Yes, it is!” Tonks looks furious now. “I can’t believe you!”

Remus looks questioningly at Sirius, who snorts.

“You’re an oblivious idiot,” he says, lacing their fingers together. “But you’re my oblivious idiot.”

#this could easily have been 10K words of tonks trying to flirt with remus and remus not noticing at all #but i don't have time for that #wolfstar #soloorganaas #happy birthday!#also this takes place during ootp but it's an AU because arthur doesn't get attacked #and obv sirius won't die in this universe #sirius black #remus lupin #kingsley shacklebolt is the real mvp here #imp is writing

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exhaustedcatte · 9 months

Text

Are we doing this here? (yes)

Remus ran his sweaty palms over his suit, which did nothing to dry them off given that the material was very silky.

“My god, Lily, you should’ve asked someone else to sub in,” Remus muttered balefully.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed, accent thick – it only ever came out when she was nervous. “You made bigger numbers than Susan when you filled in for her last time.”

“I wish I was knee deep in editing instead,” he said, just to keep the banter going.

Remus wasn’t mad about Lily asking him to fill in for her co-worker, mainly because the carpet they were on was for a Period Era film whose book had him crying for days. No, he was just very out of depth being in front of a camera and not a screen. Besides, this must be what people call Nepotism. Remus was simply an editor, who cuts clips out and makes a nice video out of it. Lily, who’d pulled strings to get Snarky little Remus Lupin out here, did so with the intention of getting him to do some networking.

“No, you don’t, not when Black will be here,” she replied knowingly.

She knew too much, honestly. Lily simply barked a laugh when he told her that.

He tried to settle his nerves by doing a headcount of the reporters on the carpet. He thought he might reach Nirvana once he’d counted upto the 90 mark, but his cameraman starts clicking the little button with such force, Remus is startled out of the ‘counting sheep to sleep’ method he was using.

“Oh my god,” Lily applied her lipstick hastily. “Remus! Remus that’s Dame Minerva McGonagall.”

He bit his lip, trying to contain his own excitement. “Who gets her?”

They were both under the same network, it would make no sense for both of them to interview her with similar questions.

“Do you… do you want it?” Lily asked.

Remus saw the generosity in her offering her role model to him. “Of course not, Lils. I was only pulling your leg.”

She punched his arm. “I was about to replace you with Frank.”

Remus’ cameraman, Frank Longbottom, popped his head from behind the huge camera, “Oh, piss off.”

Minerva strode into their section after getting her photographs taken. Remus stepped away in awe. He’d never been so close to anyone famous, well excluding his one boyfriend – who wrote three love songs about him and then dumped him after the songs blew up. They’d been together at the cusp of his fame. Remus squashed the thought of Caradoc Dearborn, the nation’s favourite Pop Artist, according to Daily Prophet.

“Miss Minerva,” Lily smiled brightly, “you look lovely. Might I know who you’re wearing?”

“Why, you look beautiful yourself,” the woman smiled. “This was a work of Pandora Lovegood.”

“It looks stunning,” Lily reiterated sincerely. She segued into her question smoothly with, “The pantsuit must’ve been easier to wear than traditional Victorian outfits, right?”

“Oh yes,” she nodded. “Many, many layers.”

“This film is also your comeback after two years, how does it feel?”

They’re lucky they secured the entry spot on the carpet, because the other interviewers are likely to ask the same questions as these actors progress down the line.

“It’s very special. I’ve known the director, James Potter, for a few years now and working with him has been lovely because he really eased me into it,” Minerva spoke fondly of James Potter and it was all but a miracle that Lily’s knees didn’t give out judging by the dizzy expression that overtook her smile when her celebrity crush was name dropped. (Remus knew Lily as well as she knew him, so it was never a disadvantage really.)

“The trailer also broke records, have you got any anecdotes to spare about scenes that have been revealed?”

Minerva pondered for a few. “I found it very difficult to chase Sirius around set when he thought dropping seeds on my hat was a good idea. I almost had a pigeon infestation on me.”

“Did you have to run in the gown?” Lily laughed good-naturedly.

Remus also had to hold back a snort at the vivid image of the Dame running behind Sirius Black and a flock of pigeons trailing her.

“Running after him was a personal choice, it wasn’t a shot for the movie,” the actress said primly, making everyone laugh again.

“I wish the movie great success, it was lovely meeting you,” Lily bade her goodbye.

Minerva smiled once again before heading over to the next reporter.

“How was I?” Lily asked.

“Good, but a touch too nervous maybe,” Remus offered honestly.

“Okay.” She spotted Slughorn making his way over to them and straightened, “It’s go time.”

The old veteran was suited up in boring grey slacks and a grey suit jacket with a plain white shirt under. Remus wished there were less boring men’s outfits on the carpet, at least then it’d make it interesting for him to edit these things, it would provide great gossip material.

Lily breezed through the next couple interviews, trying to shuffle her questions between them to make it less monotonous for both parties.

When Narcissa Malfoy finally sashayed away, Lily slugged half of Remus’ ginger lemon tea. “This thermos is god sent, the tea is so warm.”

“I know. It was Caradoc’s last christmas present. But it’s so good, I couldn’t justify throwing away just because he was a shit ex.”

“His money anyway,” Lily winked. Her voice sounded too hoarse.

“Want me to go?” Remus asked.

Her shoulders slumped, a bit relieved. “I would appreciate that.”

Remus steadied his mind, just a few questions and that’s all there was. You can do this, you got this, it’s just a few minutes and – Holy fucking god.

Marlene McKinnon stepped out of her car in a sequinned dress, thigh high slit and tall pumps.

Remus managed to snag her first out of the sea of interviewers.

“Good evening,” he smiled. “You look gorgeous, very old Hollywood.”

Her blonde hair was pinned up, lips painted blood red, mole under her eye, black sequinned dress glimmering in the flashes of the cameras.

“Thank you so much, but I have to thank Fortescue for this.”

Her ability to understand cues was very well appreciated by Remus.

“I must say, your role in the movie seems to be rather demanding psychologically,” Remus started off strong, “judging by the book and the trailer, of course.”

Marlene blinked away her surprise fast. Women were usually not asked about their character’s personalities very often.

“Harriet is a bit of a character,” she said eagerly. “She’s too strict on herself and clearly a bit emotionally constipated,” Marlene laughed.

“Was it difficult to recover from that kind of a role?”

“It was,” Marlene’s surprise bled into her voice. “Harriet’s strictness with herself often translated into her constantly picking herself apart so my confidence did see it’s ups and downs.”

“And she’s also Irish!“ Remus redirected towards something lighthearted. “How was working the accent for you?”

“I’m so used to London, it took a lot of work to get my pronunciation as close to a native as I could,” she admitted sheepishly.

Remus grinned, watch pulsating silently on his wrist. “Well, Harriet, I wont keep you long, for your duties call you elsewhere.”

“Wow,” Marlene laughed, “you’re better than Sirius, man!”

“I wouldn’t make it past auditions, Marlene,” he deadpanned.

She giggled. “Give yourself some credit. Sirius only remembered his dialogues when he had to whinge about me.”

Remus shifted back, on his hip, “Harriet, dear, don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Marlene guffawed, “Oh, you’re good.” She waved as she was led away.

Remus didn’t get a refractory period when the next actor swarmed in.

After six successful interviews Remus started to loosen up. He managed to land a few jokes based on the knowledge of the actors and their characters.

“Are you the interviewer that Marls said I had to meet?”

Remus turned around.

Sirius Orion Black.

He was wearing proper Victorian attire. A ruffled white blouse, a midnight blue paisley vest with gold embroidery, charcoal slacks and tailcoat. His hair was tied back with a gold ribbon. God. He looked delectable.

Remus’ brain sent pure dumb into his head and he fish-mouthed. “You cut quite a figure in that suit.”

“It’s an Ollivander custom,” Sirius grinned, eyes shining. Oh, his smile. “I see you’re dressed to star alongside me too!”

Remus cracked a smile. No one had commented on his commitment to the part yet. He was also similarly in Victorian garbs, but he decided to take a simpler route by thrifting and sewing them himself.

“It’s a Remus Lupin special,” he said. After a pause, he motioned to himself, and added, “I’m Remus Lupin.”

“You’ve got quite the talent in suit making, Lupin. Want to make one for me next time?” Sirius leaned in close. Remus could smell the decadent notes of vanilla and coffee in his perfume.

“I’m not all that talented,” Remus said modestly. “I might be better at taking a suit off than putting it on you.”

What the hell am I doing? On Broadcast! Oh, he’s so fired. Lily pinched his arm from behind.

But Sirius Black grinned widely, very obviously looking him up and down, “You certainly have the permission.”

Remus smirked. “Alright now, let’s keep it media-friendly. Tell us, Sirius, you’ve taken on the role of Sir Fitzwilliam Grey, who is notoriously difficult. What was being such a frustrating man like?”

“Frustrating,” Sirius laughed. “He definitely was written well, but boy, he got on my nerves a bit.”

Remus also smiled, agreeing, “It’s true, the book almost made me pull my hair out.”

“You can pull my hair instead,” Sirius winked.

Remus swallowed, before smiling brightly. “Ah, but I don’t put out until the fourth date at least.”

Sirius snorted, “I was talking about braiding my hair.”

“Mm, either ways, I am good with my hands.”

Sirius hid his face in his palms, shoulders shaking with laughter. Remus felt proud of himself for making this man laugh. God, he looked really beautiful.

“So,” he cleared his throat at Frank’s pointed gaze. “James Potter is your best friend and this isn’t your first production together. But you mentioned this project was very close to you, why so?”

“I grew up in a family like Grey’s, so I could understand why he behaved the way he did – I was much like him until I met James. So now I’m not welcome home anymore,” Sirius snickered lightly. This news was known to the public for a while, but it was still a sore subject.

“You’re welcome to my home anytime,” Remus winked, trying to make it lighter on the viewers.

This time, Sirius actually blushed. “I’ll make a note of that.”

“Your first film was also a period era movie, was it nostalgic going back to your roots, in a sense?”

“A little. I was too nervous to experience everything the first time, so this felt like redemption,” Sirius said. Then he broke into a jive, “Redemption is leaving the man you dreamed of~”

Jesus. Caradoc Dearborn through the mouth of Sirius. But Sirius had a really nice voice, rich and robust.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I keep singing that song, must be because I’ve been hearing it a lot on the radio.”

“Yeah, me too,” Remus said stiffly. Lily snorted into her palm.

“Oh?”

“Er, my ex… he was a huge fan of, um, Caradoc Dearborn,” Remus felt his eye twitch.

“Oh.”

“He’s my ex,” Remus shrugged. “It’s fine.”

“Oh yeah, absolutely. If he left you, then he was probably a right Fitzwilliam Grey, eh,” Sirius giggled. “Or like, Earl Grey. A bit basic.”

“You’re right.” He leaned in a bit, heart jumping when Sirius mirrored his action. “I much prefer it Black.”

Sirius’ ears were slowly getting red, probably like his own. “Everyone likes black tea, Remus.”

“We all have good taste,” Remus nodded importantly, willing himself to stand his ground.

His watch beeped, breaking the moment. “Oh, we’ve run out of time. Have you got any last remarks?”

“I hope you watch the movie,” he said to the camera. “And let me know how it is,” he turned to Remus.

“Well, it has been a pleasure to talk to you Mr Black,” Remus smiled his professional smile.

“You too, Remus,” Sirius said softly. “I will see you sometime.”

That sounded like a promise if he’d ever heard one.

Sirius strode away, but Remus noticed him peeking back at where he was stood.

“What on Earth was that Remus?” Lily squealed. “How can we possibly use this footage?!”

“We can, I think. It’s guaranteed views, Lils,” Frank interjected.

Remus blushed. “Sorry, I don’t know what got over me.”

“Thinking with the wrong organ, most likely,” Lily muttered, but she sounded too fond and too impressed to be mad.

“Most likely,” Remus echoed, once again on the receiving end of The Sirius Black smile.

His phone rang six times before he even considered picking it up.

“Hey,” he croaked. “I met the deadlines and uploaded it yesterday evening.”

Lily, who had been pestering him to get the interview out before the movie’s first day, didn’t utter a word.

“Lils?”

“Have you seen the comments?”

Oh, god.

Remus sat up in his bed, blankets falling in a pool around his naked torso. “Should I?”

“Yes.”

He pulled up the video, and immediately was stunned by the 2.3 million views on it. “Holy shit?”

“Read the comments, lad.”

laralare: um id tap his ass too sirius, get in line

beyzoz: not in front of my saladfsusjro?!

flour: am i jealous of sirius or remus lupin?

patricknorth: 6.57 im gay now

gillian: look at the eYES sirius makes when remus mentions his ex!!

hollyhollyday: the blatant flirting?! jail. my single ass is sobbing at 2am

freyja: i like lupin. we need him on more carpets.

doorathea: sirius looks so hot, id hit too. so yeah, remus was just being gay, not unprofessional.

Remus laughed incredulously at the number of comments in support of this tomfoolery.

“Now, Remus, I want you to breathe and go on Twitter.”

“Lily!”

Twitter was flooded with trends. About Him. And Sirius. Together.

#remusirius

#sirius black flirting

#remus lupin

Remus found many tweets – mostly laughing at the pair and dissecting the interaction. But it had felt so natural even to Remus so he had left it in, thinking it was amusing. Clearly everyone agreed.

The topmost tweet however.

SiriusBlack:

Last night was one of my favourite nights ever. I hope tonight you all can enjoy the movie too. Dress victorian, thrift and sew your outfits, have some fun!(a borrowed idea) when in rome, do as the romans do, (or is when in remus more apt? lol) enjoy!!

Remus screamed into his phone, blushing at the innuendo.

“His publicist loves you or hates you.”

“Let’s hope she’s obsessed with me, because.”

“Uh oh, Remus. Remus, what are you doing?”

“Nothing!”

RJLupin: im going to the movie w my best friend this weekend.

SiriusBlack: oh he’s in my dms now

RJLupin: too presumptuous?

SiriusBlack: the right amount i think.

text me here– xxx

“Remus…?”

“Might’ve scored a date with Fitzwilliam.”

“Remus! Caradoc could never!”

Remus laughed.

(a/n: based on a prompt i saw on pinterest lol. can you tell i can’t flirt for my life. or that i have no idea how red carpets work? i wrote this at arse o’ clock, so please excuse the lack of research and feasible scenarios that went into this. i hope it put a smile on your face at least.)

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