#why tf are there so many different kinds of headaches?

[catastrophic-crow]

i have a migriane that feels like—aside from the typical symptoms—i have too much blood in my skull. very unpleasant.

#have you ever felt so light-headed you almost pass out while also feeling like your skull is too small for your brain? #because; uh. i sure didn't know that was a possible combination #add in some nausea for garnish and enjoy! #(presumably. having a hard time with that part.) #migraines #disability #why tf are there so many different kinds of headaches? #i feel like an off-brand pokemon trainer #trying to experience them all #no; but. really. i literally can't even remember all the different kinds of headaches i've had off the top of my head #that means there's been *too many* #ugh #headaches

[ikanasocking]

Gaining new insight

Up ahead will be a stroy cotaining: weight gain and socks tf. Not a fan? Maybe nothing for you :) Now enjoy my new story:

The days went ahead without any new events. Kyle and Thomas just live their lives as roommates in their apartment. Nothing was out of the ordinary. From the outside you saw Kyle as a nerdy guy who spend his days in front of a computer screen. Rarely seen outside the flat. His blonde hair were always a little bit messy. But he paid no mind about his outer appearance. He loved food and that showed a lot around his middle section. He was not just a little bit chubby. You could say he was straight up fat. It took a lot of effort to get up from his gaming chair and go into the kitchen, for the next meal.

Thomas on the other hand kept his body in check. He was just an average guy who spent most of his time reading books or attending some football games from time to time. By all means he was no athlete at all. But at least he was doing something. His brown hair was long and always in good shape. He washed it nearly every day. Like that he was paying a lot of mind to what people were thinking of him. How he looked or how he behaved.

When both guys went to collage they met for the first time in this particular flat. At the beginning they tried to get to know each other better, but decided, that they had not so much in common. So they just lived side by side, without interacting a lot. At least that was what you could see from outside. If you would take a closer looks, Thomas was hiding a secret from his flatmate. And that was a love. A love for his socks. He had no idea why. If you would ask him, he would tell you that he could only love women. And this was correct to some extent. He had no hots for any men. But their socks, that was another thing. It was embarrassing for him to talk about it, so he did it in secret. From time to time, he would take socks from Kyle. Wearing them, using them for other things or just enjoying the smell. Kyle was oblivious to this fact. He would not even care, since he was not interested in anything else then his games.

Many more weeks went by and exams were due. After the last of them, Thomas was feeling relieved and happy that he got through it. The results were still to come but right now he could not do anything else then wait. Kyle was doing the same. He was lucky, he did not have to study. Hearing stuff was enough for him to memorize it and pass everything with flying colors. Back in the flat, both guys went to their rooms and minded their own business. Thomas was reading and Kyle was browsing the internet for nothing in particular. He just went from link to link. Until one ad caught his attention.

“If you could make one wish come true, what would it be? Try our new wish granting website. It will change your life!”

Curios and amused he clicked on the ad and expected to find a site full or commercials for all kind of different stuff. But nothing like this popped up. Instead a blank site with just the phrase: state your wish and an empty box below it. Kyle thought that it was all a joke and just went on with it.

“I wish for a roommate who understands me”, he typed in and waited.

After a short delay the site reloaded and another texted popped up.

“Wish granted.”

Kyle laughed and thought nothing of it. He closed the site and went to bed. Thomas was doing the same. The next day, Thomas woke up with an unusual headache. He got up and went into the bathroom. He washed his faced and looked at himself. Nothing out of the ordinary. He did not even look paler than usual. Strange. Maybe it was just the stress he had the last weeks. His stomach growled and he felt like he had not eaten in weeks.

“Time for breakfast”, he thought and went into the kitchen. The fridge was nearly empty. Only some sweet stuff that Kyle normally kept there.

“He will not be up for another three hours and I can go get something new for him, before he even notices.”

So Thomas began to stuff his face with the sweets. It tasted better than he expected. Usually he hated sweet stuff. But today it tasted different. He could understand why Kyle ate so much of this stuff. But sooner then he would have wanted to, it was all gone. But his hunger was still not sated. So he went shopping. Replaced the stuff he took from Kyle and bought a lot more things. And so his eating started again. After a few hours he was sated and looked around. He saw the amount he ate and was surprised. How could he eat so much all of the sudden? He was shocked and decided it was time to go jogging. He cleaned up, changed his cloths and went out.

Right when Kyle woke up. He just heard the door closing. He was too lazy to get up and so he stayed in bed. After exact an hour, Thomas came back. He was sweaty and out of breath. With all the food in his body it was harder than usual. But coming back, his hunger was awakened again.  But he knew there was not much left in the fridge. He took a shower and went to Kyle’s door. He knocked.

“Yeah?” was the answer.

“I am going to the grocery store. You want something?”

Kyle told his friend some stuff he could get him and Thomas left the house. This time he bought a lot more food and filled the fridge to the brim.  So he began eating again. The weeks went by and Thomas was discovering a lot of changes. His hunger was only the beginning. Next was his interests that shifted to video games. He noticed that he was chatting with Kyle about his games from time to time. Thomas was feeling lazier and lazier by the day. He stopped going out for jogs or anything else. And became more and more like Kyle. He understood why Kyle like his life so much. And another thing that he was noticing. His belly was gradually growing. First just a little bit. But with the time it became clearer and clearer. Every new pound was a new sensation for Thomas. He never imagined it would feel so good, having his body jiggling with every step. Another week went by and finally Kyle and Thomas were playing games together. And one more week later, Thomas came clear about his embarrassing secret. Kyle seemed to not care at all. He was just happy, that he had someone who understood him and was playing games with him. Until one day, a friend of Thomas visited them, since he had not heard anything of him. He was disgusted when he saw what had become of Thomas.

“Boy, what did you do to yourself? Did you eat someone? You look like a disgusting pig.”

Thomas was hit hard with these words. The opinion of his friends were important for him. But he wanted to feel good as he was. This was him. He just never admitted to it. The next day’s Kyle did neither see nor heard anything of Thomas. He was just in his room and was thinking about his life. Kyle was desperate to help his friend. He went through his browser history and found the wish granting site. He still thought that it was just a joke, but he wanted to make Thomas feel better. So he send him the link with a message.

“Maybe you will feel better, if you can wish for the pain to go away. It is worth a try.”

Thomas received the message and smiled. Kyle was such a sweet heart. He thanked him and opened the site.  He knew exactly what he wanted to wish for.

“I wish to be have more supportive friends.”

The site granted his wish. Thomas was already feeling better. He went over to Kyle and talked to him, while taking care of his beautiful socked feet.

A few weeks went by and suddenly Thomas friend was at their door again.

“What do you want? Want to make fun of me again?” he asked.

“I am sorry that I was such a jerk.”

Surprised Thomas asked him to come in and went to his room.

“You are sorry?”

“Yes. I was just, I don’t know. Shocked isn’t even the right word. Surprised and jealous. You can live your live like you want. While I am still stuck at thinking too much about the opinion of others. I am truly sorry. Can I make it up to you?”

Thomas was totally flashed by this. He never thought his friend would say something like this.

“I don’t know” he said, in total awe.

“Maybe I can give you a foot rub?”

With that his friend reached for his feet. Today, Thomas was wearing Kyle’s socks. Just like nearly every day. Since he told Kyle about it, they shared their socks. When his friend’s hands made contact with the socks, a strange sensation hit him. It was like he wanted to be these socks? Yeah that was right. He just did not want to, he needed to be Thomas socks. This was the only way he could make it up to him. Furiously he began to rub his hands up and down. Until he noticed something. His hands were fusing with the cotton. Yeah that was it. The beginning of being his friend’s most supportive friend. Slowly his body began to be engulfed by the cotton. The feeling was indescribable. Like he was not only turning to cotton. He was a living being inside it. Finally it was time to give up his human form and he was sucked in completely into the socks. With that Thomas looked around, not remembering what he was doing. He did not remember his friend who was now trapped as his socks for the rest of his live. The site granted his wish, just not in a way, that Thomas would have expected it. Now he had only supportive friends. Kyle, who was there for him. And the other one who were his socks or better their socks. Thomas wasted no time going over to Kyle for another sock playing session. His socks were eager to experience this and could not wait to be used by both boys, who now owned him.

#socks tf #clothes tf #inanimate transformation #gain weight

[amagicaledenian]

You tell Mortal Kombat 11 characters that you’re on your period and need pads

I saw someone do this and I can’t say exactly who it is (idk who bc it was a while ago 😔😔)

Tell me what you guys think tho! I’m curious LOL.

- you might wonder “why is Hanzo in the 2nd to last bottom row??🤨🤨” If anything bothers you, it will bother Hanzo. You’re mad?? He’s mad too. You’re on your period?? He’s not but he will act like he’s on his too. (He buys you chocolate though)

-sub zero is just either top row or asks if something is the pad… I can’t tell. He does his best.

-Kung Lao/Fujin would probably have forgotten why he was at the store the moment they set foot in it 💀💀

-Noob would probably leave you there to suffer. But if he was still Bi Han he would defo ask “what size is that 🐱”

-Raiden would take a picture of the whole isle and ask which one you’d like. Someone would have to help him send the message to you. (he would definitely bring Cassie along with him for help) Raiden would come home with pain meds, chocolate,,, junk food, a ton of shit actually. (Because Cassie said it would “help”)

-Sheeva is a little questionable.. but she goes on free flow mode and doesn’t care. She would probably be like “tf is a pad for” would probably tell you to free flow because it’s “good and strengthening” or some sht.

-Liu kang,, come on. He might have been with Kitana but he’s never felt the touch of a woman. You can’t tell me he has. No way. He doesn’t know wtf a pad is. Gets a headache when he sees so many with different sizes and so many different brands.

-jax is really kind and caring. He would buy a few brands in different sizes to see what you’d want😫 we love a good boyfriend!!

-Kabal would ask what size that thing is, it’s only jokingly though. When you get mad at him he knows it’s time to get what you asked for. He’s RUNNING.

-Erron would ask “now how big is it” he’s so smug too. Not smug anymore after you give him a nice smack upside the head. Honestly everyone in that whole area will say it like that. It all plays out the same way.

-Shao Khan should be one more above. He wouldn’t get the pads though, someone else will get it for him. He would bring you the styrofoam and say “is this what you wanted??” He would probably kill whoever brought that block of styrofoam in.

It’s late and I seriously don’t want to explain anymore. I’m so tired. Soooo enjoy!!

#mortal kombat #mk11 #mkx #mk x reader #mortal kombat meme #sub zero #mk9 #mortal kombat x reader #jade mortal kombat #kitana #sub zero mk #mortal kombat funny

[althememelord]

Wow wasn't expecting ppl to actually like my modern au meets parallel world idea since it seemed kinda off the walls but to the 60 ppl who liked it as of rn, this part 2 for you. Pt 1 can be found here

Headcanons:

- The Madrigals upon re-entering Casita after it was rebuilt and Mirabel's 'door' was made were enveloped in a bright light. The next thing they know they are in the middle of a road, narrowly dodging a motorbike.

- And holy fuck, they are freaking out. Where are they? What is this place? And why are there so many weird vehicles speeding around?

- Luisa actually wondering aloud why there are no donkeys.

- Antonio wondering why everyone is wearing such strange clothes though some older folks can be seen wearing the same stuff as his papi.

- Augustine trying his best not to get rammed down because if he thought bees were bad try going up against a car.

- In the distance they see a brightly coloured house on a hill that looks like Casita so Abuela suggest they go there because that's the only thing familiar in this strange land.

- They are 2000% going to get stares because who the heck dresses like them nowadays unless it's a festival.

- And that is exactly what a random person who walks up to them says. "Hey nice clothes guys, enjoy whatever party you're going to."

- Everyone looking down at their clothes for a hot second because it's just their normal day to day clothes.

- The males of the family definitely had their eyes covered by their wife/sister/cousin at some point when they see a woman wearing a short dress walk by.

- Alma would be aghast and think where tf they have been sent to. Probably would ask the woman whether her mother knows how she dresses. The random woman however would be nice and happily explain that yes her mother is aware of what she is wearing.

- Like it's not even that bad of a dress, it's a U-boat neckline with a floral design, it's just that the skirt length is above the knees.

- Isabela would have her eyes shining widely like "a whole new world !!! A dazzling place I never knew" when she see's people with cool hair dyed in every colour of the rainbow.

- Pepa would be storming slightly cause she's anxious but peeps just think it's a cool holographic thing. High key someone would come up to her and ask how she got the cloud to look so clear and real in the sunlight. Like it's better than 4000p, what program this she use. And Pepa would just be so confused like what is p?

- Felix would be delighted that others find his wife just as incredible as he does.

- Camilo would just be so astonished by all the different clothing and would want to just change and try them out. Anyone who sees him would just think he was one of those fancy magicians who can change their clothes real fast.

- Poor Dolores would have her ears covered the whole time cause there is so much loud sounds everywhere that it's giving her a slight headache. Luckily as they get closer to the Casita kind of lookalike the sounds drown out a bit.

- Bruno probably has had visions of a distant future that looks a bit like the place they're in so he's not too freaked out but he is anxious since he doesn't have his rat friends with him. Similarly, Antonio doesn't have his jaguar buddy with him, which is lucky because someone would have definitely called the cops or animal control on them if they saw a crap ton of rats + a jaguar roaming the streets.

- Mirabel at this point is just vibe-ing cause like what can you do at this point. She is low key trying her best to stay calm with a smile but her grip on Antonio's hand says otherwise.

- Julieta on the other hand is just concerned about her family and is actively trying to keep Augustine alive in this dangerous world.

- When they get to Casita they are greeted with a large gate that lets them in as they approach. They don't know that the gate can be opened via facial recognition technology and only when they try to speak to Casita to they then realise that Casita isn't alive. So obviously they are kinda stressed out.

(I'll do another part 3 later, discussing the interior of Casita and what happens next)

#encanto #encanto drabbles #encanto fanfic #encanto headcanons #isabela madrigal #julieta madrigal #augustine madrigal #mirabel madrigal #luisa madrigal #felix madrigal #pepa madrigal #bruno madrigal #camilo madrigal #dolores madrigal #antonio madrigal #alma madrigal #the madrigals

[klugenjoyer]

I'm gonna talk about my sekai au's body swap episode because yes

I'm only gonna talk about what I wanna because I don't wanna talk about stuff I haven't been thinking about or whatever

Sorry for uh clogging anyone's dash with tsukasa talk but here we are

So like tsukasa is prolly high key in sensory hell. Because you see he's the type of person who is almost always moving in some form but here's the thing

He has a tail

So like you don't really notice it so it just looks like he's sitting or standing still meanwhile he's doing them little tail flicks

But like

Ena (the person who he has the swap with) does not

And like tsukasa is just sitting here ridiculously over stimulated and he doesn't know why or how to stop it

Like he's never fidgeted with a pen or something. He always would look at people who fidget with stuff but like he didn't know that that was supposed to help with this kind of stuff.

So like he's just sitting here dying from just sitting still. Not to mention that uh normally his hearing is actual ass because of his hearing damage. Like he can usually hear everything fine and he hasn't really noticed that he can hear less then he used to be able to. But like now that he's Ena, a person whose like able to hear normally he's just sitting here like "why tf is there so much noise. Is this a normal thing. Why is there like so many small noises. It's not like they're loud but I can't stop focusing on them it's giving me a headache" or something like that.

ALSO Akito and An (An had a body swap with yukina who as we all know is akito's twin sister) are trying to teach him to like talk at a normal volume because he's gotten so used to having to talk super loud to actually be heard by people.

(Man off topic but I'm listening to ayano's theory of happiness rn and I am like crying. I literally cry every time this dumb song plays💀)

Also now tsukasa is actually like remembering the concept of height and that there are like short people and tall people because like it's not like he didn't know it's just that he had kinda forgotten ig. Like when you remember again just how much taller one of your online friends would be than you.

(Update I'm listening to dead and seek now. Man this song is so good. People need to give it more attention. It's prolly one of the most underrated kagepro songs I know. Like it's good come on people. Ig people just don't like ayano's dad and like fair 💀)

Oh yeah I forgot to mention but au tsukasa is uh a little guy. I mean it. So like not gonna go into his backstory here but something happened to him when he was like 11-12ish and now woopsies he's 11cm now (I always forget how many inches that was... Like bro I live in the us. WHY DON'T I REMEMBER IT IN INCHES. idk I think it was like 4.25 inches or sum).

So like he's got that little guy thing going on

Ok on to fun stuff he does during the body swap episodes.

He prolly downloads genshin on Ena's computer because he needs to do dailies. Que him having to learn how to play genshin on a normal keyboard and mouse. He'd prolly jump on stream and be all like "hey gang I think I might have possessed someone🤯. Like I didn't know I could do that😯. I didn't think I was a ghost but like guess I'm here now😜"

He prolly would be like "shi- since I'm like a hashtag girl now I should get Kiki (Akito) to make me a cosplay. This is a very important opportunity that I should use to it's fullest to wear cool clothes."

He'd prolly spend like forever in the bathroom trying our different hair styles with ena's hair. Since like when he was young he would style his sisters hair when it was at that length, but he had never styled hair on his own head when it was at that length. So like he's having fun with that meanwhile An and akito are prolly fighting for the second bathroom because they both need to do their long morning routines or whatever.

Well maybe I should rap up on my first post about this

Uh ok ok that smokes that that's a rap🤯/ij

#cw overstimulation #tsukasa project sekai #tsukasa tenma #random stuffs #prosekAU #when little guy #when tail #when tsukasa #ena is prolly keeping herself locked in the tsukasa cupboard ™ #rui prolly forgot about tsukasa ngl💀 #look its not that rui doesn't care about tsukasa its just that rui is out doing his own stuff in his body swap #akito hates tsukasa but does he really😱 #an is uh there but shes kinda falling apart due to running on yukina's no sleep

[skullchicken]

Part 2 - The Hug of Death

(again, this is me recounting my shadowrun-character Alberich's adventures. it is very self-indulgent, though of course I hope I'm making it entertaining.)

Part 1

One thing you should know about Alberich is that he is a people person. And, having left the Allied German States, he in turn has become... a bit lonely on the new continent. There is one friend he has, however and that is another Troll mage called Lohan, who owns a magic shop. And it is said friend that nets the group their next mission:

There is a compound that Lohan would like to purchase - but said compound is only sold by a mage who dislikes him. It is up to the group to buy it for him. But of course it doesn't turn out that easy. It's never that easy.

Dr. Kersh and his trusty spirit (when we meet them, they are debating whether Friends or Frasier was the better sitcom) don't simply sell the compound - they exchange it against services. There was this other shaman who had been interested in the compound, but a) she turned out to be a toxic shaman - with a thing for taking over people's identities to boot and b) she was too chickenshit to do the service. What is the service? Oh, just mosey on over into the crater in Chicago where the hoop used to be, past 100.000 insect spirits and place a a device there for like half an hour. But it's all good - they're throwing in some hazmat suits and Dr. Kersh will heal your radioactive poisoning at a discount!

So we move our way down the crater and past a herd of insect sprits like we`re the needles in the board game "operation" until we finally, finally make it and place the device.

I had been informed by the Game Master, that the area has, like, reaaally bad mojo and that as a magic user, Alberich is being plagued by headaches. It's because of this that he doesn't notice at first when the radioactive spirit children turn up. Now, by this point, we'd gotten a new team mate, Shere Khan, a physical adept. The most important thing to know about him in this context is that he does not like kids. And that while he's a very intimidating person otherwise, him trying to intimidate them into staying away only makes the little girl cry - which in turn agitates her brother.

The GM later told us that he was pretty sure we wouldn't have been able to take them - so it was a good thing Alberich finally snapped out of it to hurry on over there and console the crying spirits.

They turned out to be... weirdly normal for what they were. Mostly they just seemed bored, so Alberich tried his best to befriend them and play games - without having to touch them. So, word games, I spy with my little eye (many insect spirits in that one) and stuff like that. It worked out. Mostly.

"When you leave, the spirit children can't help but sneak in a hug, even though you told me you'd rather not", the GM said.

"Awww :)"

"You now have 7 kinds of cancer."

"... awww :("

Back at the prof's place, we arrive just in time to witness an assault by the Swamp Thangs - a notorious street gang. While that sure threw a wrench into our mission, at least it resulted into a fucking cool scene, where Shere Khan jumped out of the moving van to drop-kick a ganger in the head.

A Thing of Beauty.

Oh yeah, here might be a good a place as any to mention that the other notable thing about Shere Khan is that while he's usually frowning, while fighting he adopts a manic grin.

This might also be a good point to mention that I did not build Alberich to be a fighter. As a troll shaman in 5e you have a really hard time building a decent character since shamans are charisma and smarts-based and Trolls are... not that. On the other hand you get those sweet, sweet 5 body (constitution) and 5 strenght. Which don't really help you if you don't go into close combat as a mage... but I'd digress. During this fight I mostly made sure that Elf_Queen doesn't slip out of the van while she was hacking...

... and buffing the fighters. You see, I made him into a support/utility mage, which is why when I picked my spells, I picked supportive and useful ones.

I swear, I looked at "Acid Stream" and thought "oh, I could dissolve metal with that, that might come in handy!". So in absence of any combat spells, I kinda... started using that as a go-to spell once everyone was properly buffed? And the group wouldn't stop giving me shit about it. But I mean, how is this any different than slicing people up with a Katana or kicking their chin in, really? And also, at least I'm not the one smiling happily at the bloodbath while fighting...

Personally I think they were just jelly because they couldn't melt people.

I any case: The Swamp Thangs stole the fucking compound.

Time to get it tf back.

#shadowrun #goblinization #troll #cyberpunk #drop kick #ttrpg #pen and paper

[itscolourmix]

Messy lil things i drew for a certain non-canon event which i just refer to as “The Titan fight” . MC gets overpowered by Invictus and is forcefully turned into a Titan. I wrote a small story about him noticing strange things before it happened, and he goes to TF (nickname for @novadly ‘s Au Gary) for help since they both had connections with a Titan/s. You can read below

disclaimer that im not a professional writer and i know i’d have plenty of mistakes in this story. But please keep in mind that im not aiming for a masterpiece but rather, me just trying to describe what i see in my mind to the best of my ability. Please enjoy.

“Welcome back to “watch me try and describe with best detail what I pictured in my mind” Ft TF & MC.

So yeah I’ve talked about a (non canon) idea where, before MC got possessed by Invictus and turned into a Titan, he actually felt it coming weeks prior. And that, during another Multiverse party he seeks out TF to help him since he’s also linked in some way.

Annnddd yeah, I kind pictured MC finds TF chilling in some booth with his legs on the table, in his own little world. As I’ve sorta drawn out, MC asks to talk to him & while TF isn’t fully prepared he says yes anyway.

MC struggles with an opening sentence, but eventually just lands on ”........something’s wrong” and it all comes flooding out. Everything feels different, day to day things seem off. His hallucinations aren’t as frequent, but when they come, it’s almost as if they’re trying to get something across without even saying anything. It’s been about two weeks and MC’s paranoia is sky rocketing. He feels as if the curse is lying low, waiting for something, but what? he has no clue whatsoever. By this time MC’s already in some sort of panic. He’s stressing out about it. He’s terrified. He wants help.

TF’s a bit overwhelmed, but he keeps listening, kinda hoping some idea will magically appear in his mind. But it hasn’t come. He’s already at a loss for words.

I guess TF manages to ask a few more questions about the situation, like, did it start for any reason, is there anything consistent with the hallucinations, and what does MC think it all means.

MC’s just about to finish a question when he gets hit with a similar weight you might feel when your low on iron. When your head feels heavier and your vision gets blinded for a moment.  Of course in this version there’s a sudden sting that makes him wince a little, and when he finally blinks it away the whole party’s muffled, like someone covered his ears. Everything’s in slow motion. Some feeling gets him to look out in the crowd and there, hidden among all the other Gary’s , is this massive black wolf just standing there with its head lowered, breathing heavily like it’s gone for a big run. But the breathing's loud, and growls in a way. It sounds like there’s gravel in its throat.

It echoes. It’s got big, maroon coloured eyes, which glowed so fiercely that it almost seemed like it was on fire.  It was like staring into the sun, which hurt MC’s sight & immediately hit him with a headache painful enough that he squeezed his eyes shut and turned away. He could still hear the breathing echo. This was obviously another hallucination, but had no idea what he was supposed to do with this.

By this time, TF’s clicked together what was going on, and so he leans across the table and shakes MC’s shoulder gently enough to not startle him, and calls out his name loudly enough that he could focus on him.

“Yo, are you good?”

“I..” , MC trailed off. He attempted to focus on where TF was exactly, and the hallucination seemed to slowly slip away. But the breathing still echoed. MC looked down at his hands. He was falling apart, his skin from the hands down was unraveling like ribbons, blood came pouring out of his arms, his bones where separated into pieces that all floated around him like there was no gravity.

“I’m....uhhh...”

His eye’s were bleeding out, bleeding all over his clothes. Everything got darker. He felt tired all of a sudden, really tired, like he could fall asleep and never wake up. But he fought at it. He blinked hard a few times, and found TF’s concerned stare. “I....” MC’s voice cracked from fear “I don’t know..”

He stared at his left hand, which was slowly disintegrating, and ran fingers through his hair with the right. Pulling the hair back out of his face for a moment. He had no idea what to make of this, but it was proving his point.

“I don’t know what’s going on with me”

MC was so desperate that he was ready to fall to pieces. He was inches away from another sob fest. He just wanted an answer. He just wanted help. He tried so hard to fight the tears back when he looked TF straight in the eye and said “I need help”

“Please,” he begged, “ I thought coming to you would be the right thing. I need help. I need to figure this out.”

TF almost sank into his seat with more guilt that ideas. He couldn’t help, and wasn’t even ready to face the intensity that came with all this. His eyes darted around, too nervous to look MC in face. He finally shrugged and built up the courage to say “Dude, I....I don’t know how to help you....I’m not exactly the smartest guy around”

“But,” fear kept building in MC’s chest, “You’re linked to Bolo, aren’t you?!”

TF forced a smile, which looked more anxious than anything “WAS. TWO YEARS AGO”

The anxious smile unnaturally stretched wider and a pained wheeze escaped him “He chose me to be his successor even though I have like 0 of his brains..” TF was looking at MC now, “I don’t even know what I’m doing half of the time with these powers”

So many things were consuming MC at this point that all he could do was lower his eyes and ask, “He doesn’t even exist as a gut feeling? Or like some force ghost? None of his conscious is around anymore?”

TF nodded, “Man, honestly? I kinda wish he did. Right now I’d prefer to be back when he was just a voice in my head. A force ghost would have been the coolest thing. But, no. I’m sorry”

There was a brief silence before MC sighed, defeated. “So, I could be screwed? Whatever they’re planning to do...that’s just it?” MC felt like giving up. He wish he did ages ago. Maybe things would’ve been easier then. Seeing MC look this tired and unhappy made TF already feel a deep regret. It was difficult, seeing an alternate version of yourself depressed, but to let them down? Like yeah, a lot of people let people down. And maybe you can let yourself down from time to time. But to see it happen in front of you. To see a reaction. It was enough .TF’s anxiety was traded for that small spark of determination. He had to come up with something, give this guy some hope.

“You know what? Why don’t we go with my gut feeling ? A good old Goodspeed feeling! From pal to pal.”

Mc looked up at him.

“I say, we wait it out. If you can’t make out what’s going on and I can’t, then we need to collect some more info. Let these things come, but try not to get too spooked. Try and read what’s going on. Write it on a sticky note and piece it together. From what you’ve told me, yeah, somethings definitely afoot. But nothing the Master Commander can’t handle, right?” TF leaned over once again to deliver a light fist bump to MC’s shoulder. “Your powerful! And cool! And your super tough. You’re a super tough Goodspeed! I believe in you, dude. You’ve kept it together this long”

The first, genuine smile broke out from MC’s lips, and he chuckled a bit “How the hell have I?”

“ I donno bro, but your fantastic at it! So keep going.”

They shared a fist bump

“Thanks. I’ll uh, take your advice into account”

After a moment, MC moved his way out of the booth, but before he stood up, TF reached a hand out. “Hang on! Just before you go. Does anybody know about this? What you’ve told me”

“....No. I don’t want to worry them. If I told Star his eyes would be glued to me 24/7. He hates Invictus so, if it sturs trouble for me I’m not sure whether he’d try to kill me or not.”

“Well, just in case, maybe mention it- or, if anything happens, let me know. If you can’t come maybe send Star?”

Mc tittered, “If things hit the interstellar fan, then yes. But let’s hope not”

....

little does he know

#final space #colourmix's art #starboy #mc #tf #gary goodspeed #yeehaww #titan fight

[2edge4u]

I can't sleep so here

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My gf

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Very shy unless I'm comfortable around them

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My gf on Tuesday

4. Are you easy to get along with? I would like to think so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Mallory

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Mmmnm girls typically kind and sweet ones

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Most def

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Lmao no

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends on who I'm talking to

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My gf Mallory

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Good night babe 😙

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? If I can't have you, poetry by dead men, dura remix, bilingue, please me

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? God yes and my gf does it all the damn time

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Idk it would be nice but sometimes it just kinda feels like were all just going through the motions and stuff like that just eases the pain and hopelessness

15. What good thing happened this summer? I lost a shit ton of weight

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? A million times

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? It would be naive to believe that there isn't the universe is fucking huge

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Lmfaooo no

19. Do you like bubble baths? Yeah but I gotta shower first. The idea of sitting in body soup makes me queasy.

20. Do you like your neighbors? Fuck no they're horrible people but my rent is cheap 🤷‍♀️

21. What are you bad habits? Over thinking and second guessing are at the top of the list

22. Where would you like to travel? Sooooo many places Florida is the worst get me out

23. Do you have trust issues? Yeah I guess so but I will trust those who treat me right

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going the fuck to sleep

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My thighs

26. What do you do when you wake up? Say good morning to Mallory then go pee

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? This is a kinda fucked up question but I mean I guess I don't like being this pale but I also like being inside so

28. Who are you most comfortable around? My gf and my mom

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yes and I blocked that bitch 🤷‍♀️

30. Do you ever want to get married? Yep

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Lmao no I'm too butch to have long hair anymore but I'm still pretty soft

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? I tried a threesome once in college and it was not a good time so no thanks. One girl at a time for me.

33. Spell your name with your chin. U8u7fw nailed it

34. Do you play sports? What sports? I used to play basketball but I'm too lazy so

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Fuck off that's impossible I'm a millennial

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Oh definitely

37. What do you say during awkward silences? Depends on who it is

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? I'm lucky because I'm already dating her 😍 long hair, blue eyes, working her dream job and super passionate about it, the epitome of sweet and kind, very good kisser, great listener, my little spoon, so fucking smart, knows the difference between your and you're, holds me when I need it, fixes my headaches, and she loves me back.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Publix and target

40. What do you want to do after high school? Bitch I graduated in 2005 I've already changed careers once and I'm about to do it again

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yeah unless they diddle kids or hurt women

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I'm angy or sad

43. Do you smile at strangers? You know that white person passing you in the hallway smile

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Fuck the ocean honestly so many things can bite or sting me

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Making money and seeing my gf

46. What are you paranoid about? Hahahaha so much

47. Have you ever been high? Yeah long time ago

48. Have you ever been drunk? Mhm

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not really

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? I literally only wear black and grey everything

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Oh definitely

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? Smaller boobs

53. Favourite makeup brand? Lmao I haven't worn makeup since college

54. Favourite store? Bitch I already answered this

55. Favourite blog? Hmmmm I can't choose y'all bitches are funny

56. Favourite colour? Grey

57. Favourite food? Hmmm salad and mashed potatoes. I also love Mexican food.

58. Last thing you ate? Caprese salad

59. First thing you ate this morning? Pussy, next question

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Lmao a lot of music competitions and also water skiing

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Lmao no I'm too scared to get in trouble

62. Been arrested? For what? I've never even been pulled over so no

63. Ever been in love? Yep

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? It was behind the big tire on the playground so no one would see. Lasted .5 seconds and we never talked again.

65. Are you hungry right now? Nah

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Yeah

67. Facebook or Twitter? Neither

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? Always

70. Names of your bestfriends? Mallory, Chris and Kjersten

71. Craving something? What? Reeses with the pieces inside that shit slaps

72. What colour are your towels? Grey

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? One for my head and one for in between my legs

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nope

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? None

75. Favourite animal? Puppies and kitties

76. What colour is your underwear? Grey and blue

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate covered cherry

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? I'm not wearing a shirt

80. What colour pants? No pants either just boxers and a sports bra

81. Favourite tv show? Fuck you I can't choose

82. Favourite movie? Texas chainsaw

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Why would you even ask me this the original obviously

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Gretchen wieners

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory

87. First person you talked to today? Mallory

88. Last person you talked to today? Mallory

89. Name a person you hate? My boss and the majority of my colleagues

90. Name a person you love? My gf

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Nah I don't really like punching ppl

92. In a fight with someone? No

93. How many sweatpants do you have? I'm a lesbian so a lot

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Idk like 10ish?

95. Last movie you watched? Rocky horror

96. Favourite actress? So many

97. Favourite actor? Why tf do some people still separate this by gender

98. Do you tan a lot? Lmao no

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah I live in the south

99. Have any pets? Yep a dog and 2 cats

100. How are you feeling? Slept literally all day so I can't sleep but my headache is finally gone 🙌

101. Do you type fast? Yeah

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Mhm

103. Can you spell well? I would like to think so

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? My grandparents

#i should be sleeping #but i did this instead #get to know me yall #im an idiot #long post

[steveleoparddd]

CDF AU

Ok but what if, Darren convinces Larten to allow Steve to come along with them on their travels? Larten is not willing first but eventually gets persuaded.

Before darren’s death they tell him the plan, and after faking Darren’s death, the night of the funeral, Steve joins them after they’ve dug Darren up.

(steve will later be filed under the “Missing Persons” case but no matter how hard the police will search he won’t be found bcs...i mean he’ll have gone FARRRR from their hometown.)

and their journey is basically darren and mr crepsley bonding but also...mr crepsley and steve bonding. Steve is initially really suspicious about larten and not such a big fan (he DID call him evil, after all) but for Darren’s sake he puts on decent behaviour.

steve meets evra too. the trio become good friends.

and steve’s still a human btw. larten says he’ll have to “earn” vampirism.

also in this larten is a little hateful towards steve bcs of the “evil” blood thing...bcs it reminds him of himself and he’s projecting himself onto the boy.

and in the vampire mountain, there’s LOTS of trouble and many vampires have an issue with

1) a vampire child

2) A HUMAN CHILD????

but anyway larten deals with it.

they have a decent enough time there. steve forms a good bond with Kurda, but the strongest with Arra. It’s rlly odd...she has no idea why she is drawn to this child so much. Of course she’s rlly cold initially, but warms up (in her own way) to him. he trains with her sometimes

her death GREATLY devastates both mr crepsley and steve, (something they can silently bond over)

the whole kurda thing happens. steve is lowkey hateful of the vampires for killing kurda...their rules are more important to them than morality and the greater good? huh. seems like a stupid race, he can’t believe he ever liked them so much.

steve changes a bit in the years that follow. mr crepsley notices. steve’s subtle and hesitant acts of kindness do transition into acts of good that he delivers with assurance. he saves mr crepsleys ass once during a battle, where he could have easily let larten DIE.

truth is, over the years, Larten has become a father figure to steve more strongly than he has to darren. even though larten’s cold and distant, a part of steve yearns for his approval and affection. steve never gets jealous of darren tho...there are a few moments, but he could never hate darren. ever.

sometime later he’s approached by mr tiny who talks in depth about the vampaneze, putting a seed of curiosity in Steve’s constantly wondering mind. he doesn’t know why he does it, but he sneaks behind darren and crepsleys backs to meet up with the vampaneze, who only take him in because they see him as a potential spy/ally bcs

1) he’s close to the potential hunters

2) he’s not a vampire so no sense of racial helping binds him to them

steve goes there with the intention of finding the vampaneze lord but acts like an ally.

a few months go by, and he starts liking/preferring the way of the vampaneze over the vampires.somewhere along the way he gets blooded(again, the vampaneze mostly do this in order to truly get steve on their side)...but is given a special scent to put on to hide his true nature from his companions. it’s a really strong scent that masks his vampaneze scent by invading the nostrils of anyone around him (including his...the headaches are very strong smh)larten and darren protest him wearing that “deodorant” at first but he convinces them to let him wear it

and one night, on Gannen’s suggestion, steve enters the coffin of fire.

That night he finds out he’s the Lord of the vampaneze...and the inner conflict begins.

larten and steve will have a bonding moment- the defining moment- eventually...they’ll be having an argument where steve finally bursts about his feelings, letting larten know how being called evil fucked him up SO much. how he STILL hates himself bcs larten won’t even LOOK at him when they talk. how he’s tried SO hard to change himself yet larten probably thinks he’s STILL evil, but he’s not! how tf can he convince larten?

larten is surprised and taken aback, but, for once in his life, fucking communicates and lets steve know the only reason he can’t make eye contact still is bcs he’s ashamed of how he behaved all those years ago. he tells steve he isn’t evil, and that he himself was the monster all along.

this is what steve wanted to hear...all along. they hug it out, steve cries a bit, very tempted to tell crepsley the truth about himself.

they both act like they were doing “nothing” when darren walks in.

anyway...a whole new mess would be created bcs of the whole steve not being insane in this part but still making a few stupid decisions

what happens when the hunters find out the truth?

will he come clean willingly or will they figure it out?

will darius exist? will shancus die and affect the relationship between evra and steve? will tommy come in? what will steve and darren’s very soft and pure relationship change into? will there be different misunderstandings (this time, steve’s the one being misunderstood)? will larten die? will steve be the one to kill his own father figure (again, under different circumstances)?

FIND OUT NEXT——-

century maybe idk...IF i write a fic about this

#cirque du freak #darren shan #steve leopard #cdf #larten crepsley #steve leonard #desmond tiny #ds #vampaneze #vampires #my stuff

[heirtotheskies]

💙❤💝 (( answer how many you want of these I'm sorry gndjfjg )) [ soulofaether ]

Send some hearts for headcanons!

@soulofaether

[[ Why sorry? ovo ]]

[[ Under ReadMore bc this is a long one ]]

💙 for 4 “Slice of Life” headcanons of our muse’s relationship

The two don’t argue much but it’s well known Tulin is the most likely topic when they do. They’re both relentless but where Teba keeps his voice calm, Saki raises hers which results in headaches for him. Sensitive hawk ears don’t enjoy loud sounds. Sometimes, he doesn’t respond to hopefully end their argument and try to relieve himself of the pain. She knows what he’s trying to do but, the subject is not dropped. To rid of a lingering headache, he either meditates or sleeps for a short while.

In the rare moment Saki needs a wound treated, Teba can assist. His knowledge isn’t on par with hers but he can clean wounds properly and knows how to stitch them if need be. Depending on how he received his own injuries, Saki may or may not be gentle. He doesn’t fight as he knows he deserves it for being reckless but, this also helps him practice at keeping his hisses low.

Even though Teba had made her a blanket thick for the cold Tabantha nights, nothing is better than his arms. In truth, Teba feels the same way and loves being in her arms too, plus her lavender scent helps him fall asleep rather quickly. He’s a stubborn fool, this is well known. He’s determined to train and practice until his muscles burn, going everyday, nearly non stop. However, one way to get him to stay home is Saki holding him in her arms and just asking him to stay. Helps him realize how much he loves being with her.

❤️ for 4 romantic headcanons of our muse’s relationship

Teba is aware he can come off as intimidating but, to relax his new wife, he would show her a much softer side to him. He had found a gorgeous garden of flowers ranging in countless shades of violet and pink. Some grew along trees and hung over their branches, others grew beside the path as if marking it. Here, he wanted to say this garden always reminded him of her. “I see these flowers as mirrors and they all reflect you.“

Saki takes initiative as well, it’s not solely Teba who plans an event for them. He likes it when she has surprises for him. Hers are rather adventurous. To him, so long as they are together, the destination could be anywhere as she makes his heart flutter. He hopes to bring her as much joy as she’s brought him.

The first time they sang together was the first time they had heard the other sing. Their dual hauntingly beautiful tones matched as they held each other close during a slow dance, feeling and listening to their partner. No lyrics were spoken as they didn’t need to say anything but hear their voices harmonize as one.

Their love runs passionately deep and there have been times where they couldn’t resist each other. When helping her practice holding a bow or firing, he would start with positioning her arms but with being so close, sometimes, the bow and arrow would be discarded and they would kiss. Training would resume of course but they would try to avoid any more distractions. They don’t have to be in close proximity for this, one could come home and the other would wrap their arms around their spouse affectionately.  

💝 for 4 nsfw headcanons of our muse’s relationship 

This is a sfw blog so I’ll keep it as sfw as possible XD

They hadn’t made an attempt to have a child until about after their first anniversary. There were subtle hints to see if the other one was ready such as preening closer to the heart and pressing their bodies to feel for each other. Over time, these hints grew bolder between them until they were both ready.

The more serious of the two doesn’t break easily, being stoic for most of his life but, damn… did he blush the first time he saw her nude. Teba took in what he saw, admiring but, also trying to stay respectful. She’s too beautiful. These feelings were mutual. Teba himself had grown into a very attractive Rito and Saki took note.

Since the huts aren’t noise proof, while they tried for an offspring, they wanted to be as quiet as they could. Teba made sure to not make any sudden movements which would cause Saki’s voice to increase in volume. If it did, he made sure to slow tf down. Teba is normally quiet and has been well at keeping his voice low during wound treatments and other variations of pain but, this new sense of pleasure proved to be a different kind of challenge.

Due to having to be near silent during their first time together, he prefers to find a place more secluded and private so they would not have to hold back on their sounds. It would be liberating to not have to constantly worry about being too loud for anyone to hear when they know no one is around.

#soulofaether #Still Busy 🔲 Answered Asks #Blossoming Wings 💘 Teba and Saki #Thank you so much uvu

[existentialburden]

11 13 16 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 29 30

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

ngl it just sort of... happens? I’ll be writing and then I’ll go “oh FUCK I need a title” and 9 times outta 10 it ends up a joke. placeholder names tend to be whatever characters are involved or whatever ik will remind me of the fic, if it even gets a placeholder name. “Duktra”. “Enslog’ph”. “Fern bby are you okay”. “Aila come out of the closet you grimdark bastard”. all placeholders the moment they move to their own document. “Give Enny A Decent Dad 2019″ is not a placeholder. the only difference is I took the time to capitalize shit.

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

sometimes yes sometimes no! mostly no. the Enslog’ph outline is. okay it doesn’t even focus on what the fic’s focusing on now but it’s at least coherent, even if it goes into two branching paths. another Enny fic I have going has a two-sentence outline that is. technically correct. nothing headache-inducing but very Vague and Frustrating to look at.

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

depends on if looking for my own character lore is research! if not, nothing really takes that much research. if yes... every time I go to find character lore I end up reading through hours’ worth of rps just to find How West Types or Enzo’s Height Compared To Ryze’s or.... yeah. I did that today. it was nice and also a fucking ride bcause I ended up reading the ENTIRETY of the rp channel for an au and then an hour of dms.

18. Do you have a WIP that you keep telling yourself you’ll eventually get back to, but deep down you know that’s probably a lie?

anything on my OG writing document. like... look. we all know I’m not finishing any of those Aila fics. I’m not gonna wrap em up concisely. I’m probably not gonna finish that superhero au fic where Nuad gets to see just how much Enny’s affected by her false memories. the impulse Wynn and Aila monster au fic is not getting finished. except. wait. fuck. now I want to work on that. GOD DAMN IT.

19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)?

depends who I’m sharing them with! I don’t edit them before showing people in dms. I do edit them before putting them on here or ao3. the editing process is... minimal. I will say that. Ro helps though!

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

just getting that rush of an idea that I spit out most of in an afternoon, or not being able to go to sleep so I shrug and just let the midnight creativity carry me through another fic! the initial inspiration for an idea mostly. and also reading it back, sometimes.

21. What’s your least favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

when I inevitably get stuck and have to actually FIGURE OUT WHERE I WANT IT TO GO.... also trying to wrap it up into a neat conclusion. fuck that. this is a scene lifted from daily life out of a series of moments that never stop how tf am I supposed to give it an ENDING??? it leans into the rest. time doesn’t stop on  the hour every hour it flows into it! bluhhhh.

22. Do you take fic requests? If so, for what characters and why?

I used to do oneshot requests but uhhhh my motivation is inconsistent and it felt like promising something I couldn’t deliver ig? I’d take them again if anyone wanted specific fic about my ocs though! I just. I’m not invested enough in any canon stuff to write things people would request for. the stuff I AM invested in doesn’t have a huge following and I’m too close to it to feel anything but insecure about writing it! like... yeah I could feel comfortable writing some wild Homestuck shit if I were still invested in it. because Homestuck exists in the view of the masses and has for a while and there’s so many takes on the characters. but I don’t feel comfortable writing, say, Watt, because Netnavi RP is so much smaller and if I write stuff I’d be like... the ONLY PERSON. there are so few takes on character voices there. the large community versus small community terrifies me bcause if you write your take on a character in an ocean it’s like yep that’s just another stranger. if you write your take on a character in a kiddie pool everyone can see you doing it and there’s nothing to compare it to either way. the moment someone else writes something it will be immediately judged against yours. it just. terrifies me y’know?

tl;dr I would totally take fic requests if y’all wanted to request more of my OC bullshit and I’d write stuff for like... Animal Crossing. hand me those obscure villager favs like Hornsby or Antonio or Eloise. I’ll write about the Koopalings. shit I’d go back to Homestuck hell if you offered me a dollar (the others are free). fuck dude if you want my take on your OCs and give me an OC tag to scroll through I’ll do my best if you promise not to make fun of me for any misinterpretations.

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

hurt/comfort. or just comfort. I love me some cuddles and affirmations and overwhelming trust and care babey!

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

I hate miscommunication bcause I get HEAVY second-hand embarrassment and I’m prone to mishearing or misunderstanding things myself so it just... hurts to read. I’ll write it but hhhhhhhh y’feel?

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

sometimes! I used to do it more often. I don’t have a specific playlist but I did use this one for a long while, and you can get to my other ones from it! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2WdXLJmV6zOPRPx9lNRR1d?si=krNNeOWgTS666LJ8G_PoaQ

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

messages or having to look for character lore. it just makes me wanna read old rps....

29. Have you ever written for an exchange or event of some kind? Which one(s)? Did you enjoy it?

nope! the thought is terrifying! I used to trade fic for Noodle’s writing but he stopped trading me back (I think he ran out of relevant fics he was comfy sharing. thas cool I just love feedback :3).

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

okay gonna mix it up and not have it be GodqWest or Enslog’ph this time uhhhh take this. lore-wise “Aila” is correct but it’s about Enny, trust me. superhero au gang rise up--

"Is there a problem?" The voice is muffled, but not muffled enough. Yüur. 

Aila shakes her head silently, not daring to open her eyes. She can feel herself tense up, her shoulders raising and her head ducking down to hide herself, knowing that everyone must be looking at her now.

"Aila's having an episode," a voice mumbles, and she freezes. Shut up. Shut up.

Everything's quiet for a few moments, and she holds her breath to keep it that way. Her heartbeat pulses through her ears, suddenly so obvious that she can't bear the sensation of it. It beats, beats again, and her head dips lower, ears touching her shoulder blades, pushing against her hair uncomfortably. Ticklish and trapped and disgustingly there. It's a lot, it's too much, she's going to scream--

There's a low hum from just behind her, and she gasps in a new breath of air.

#ask #egby says shit #AAAAAAAAA TY ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!! #imagine if I took writing requests. wild-- no I do take writing requests they're just for very specific things #like hmu they're free let's talk #the price of a request is gushing about my writing later and handing me both validation and serotonin

[goldenlandfiascos]

thanks to everyone who sent me those nappi aus~ if anyone still wants to, by all means, i’m always happy to get some :) well, i guess now i’ll share an au idea lol. you know a trope i always loved as a kid when i watched all my favorite tv shows back in the day? body swaps. so imagine at like the family conference the year before the one where shit goes down, everyone of course was arguing and all that usual stuff and then maria is hanging out with her good friend beato and is all “uu i wish everyone would get along and be happy” and then beato is like “don’t worry, maria, i’ve got this” but of course she can’t do anything simple because beato has to go big.

so what does she do? puts them in each others’ shoes. literally. the siblings anyway since they’re the main ones causing a bunch of unnecessary bullshit. so they all wake up the next morning but what’s this? holy shit. Krauss is Eva, Eva is Krauss, Rudolf is Rosa, and Rosa is Rudolf! how the hell did this happen?? who knows, but they can’t even try and pull themselves together to figure out how to fix it as it’s time for everyone to leave the island~~ they’re the only ones who know and of course they can’t tell anyone else because who would even believe that?? so now they all have to start living each others’ lives as they try to figure out what to do, adapting to their new environments, communicating over phone calls, and trying not to let on that they’re not who they should be but of course the weird behavior doesn’t go unnoticed.

so how do things go for them? well, eva fucking despises the fact that she’s in the body of Krauss--Krauss--until she realizes that technically now she’s the future head so that’s great cause holy shit, that was her dream and she’s going to relish in it and hold it over krauss and prove how he really was unfit to be the head but as soon as you-know-who sees the brand new krauss there will be talk amongst everyone about how he’s suddenly really capable of taking over for the family. krauss seems to be kind of quiet about it which is strange but whatever, it’s absolute bliss. ...until she discovers her dad is actually dead?? holy shhhiiitttt wtf she can’t even do anything about it because right now it’s on her shoulders and there’s also the fact that all of krauss’ business attempts are kicking her in the fucking face. moon hotel resort?? she can’t even talk to anyone outside of the siblings about how she has dirt on krauss cuz it’s her fucking dirt atm and, oh yeah, her wife keeps complaining about having headaches and holy shit she’s crying again. also, apparently it was her idea to hide kinzo’s death in the first place??? well, she supposes she should at least enjoy the fact that jessica is her kid now because she always wanted a daughter and she used to dote on her when she was younger but jessie really doesn’t want to have anything to do with her parents so there goes that.

meanwhile krauss experiences first hand what it’s like to be treated unfairly due to simply being a woman though it could just be that he really does suck at what he does. he also doesn’t know what to do when his family asks him what’s for dinner. cooking?? he doesn’t know how to do that!! hideyoshi is confused when his wife who has always been an amazing cook is suddenly looking lost but he tells her it’s okay and that they can all just go out for the night. ...and many more nights to follow. krauss learns all the hottest tips on how a good husband should be from #1 hubby and even starts to grow closer to him as a result and george is a "pretty nice guy”.

somewhere else, rudolf is still flirting with women, it’s just now he doesn’t have to worry about jealous partner hovering over his shoulder and putting him in his place. well, at least someone seems to be taking the situation well. when the employees at Anti-Rosa call to ask where tf their boss is, he sweet talks them and just says he’ll be out for a while, hanging with some friends. when the call ends they just go “huh. i didn’t know she was into women.” but of course rudolf understands he can’t leave maria behind alone all the time, cause she is only like, fucking 9, so he often brings his new friends over and keeps it fairly pg until she’s sleeping or at school. maria is confused as to why her mom suddenly stopped bringing men over or going out with them and rather started bringing a bunch of different women each day but she’s just happy her mom is home more often and they all even play some nice board games together so rudolf becomes Cool Parent™

rosa is freaking out because of what rudolf is doing but in the end tells him to “just make sure he doesn’t do anything in front of maria.” she also has to learn to control her temper because ange isn’t actually her kid and if rudolf suddenly started lashing out against her, kyrie would be confused and also probably pissed and kyrie is scary when she’s pissed. when battler comes over every now and then he gives her somewhat of a cold shoulder?? rosa also keeps getting phone calls from a bunch of women she doesn’t know--not even from her new job--and she’s trying to tell them to stop calling but fuck! she’s at such a loss of what to do, she’s so confused and kyrie’s kind of hot but she keeps multiplying a bunch of numbers and yeah i’ve thought about this a lot for like half a year now

#umineko #umineko no naku koro ni #krauss #eva #rudolf #rosa #natsuhi #hideyoshi #kyrie #jessica #george #maria #battler #beatrice #my posts #and beato is laughing the entire time #and it's au so magic is REAL (not that it wasn't before) #it's 2 in the morning and i literally just shared an entire idea i've had for like ever for a fanfiction #'but EMILY what about all your other fanfics? maybe if you write notes for them like you did here you'll--' #'stfu' #this ended up becoming such an elaborate mess i'm sorry. does this even sound interesting?? #they'd all get character development learning to better understand and grow closer to not only each other but all the other relatives too #and then no one would die :) (maybe anyway) #i'll probably never get around to actually writing this (and if i do it'll be 1000 yrs from now see what i did there) so have this #don't stay up for hours on end every night and daydream like me kids ✌️ #also pay attention in school. don't drift off into lala land

[howtomovefreely]

Objective (3-D) ¡  Keep track of lessons created to HELP (1) move freely throughout my day PHYSICALLY while tracking Triggers & Flashbacks (TF) AND NOW THE REFLECTION : huh?

This was an insurmountable task & I ALWAYS SAY, “EVERYTHING IS SURMOUNTABLE.”  It’s my two cats, one trying to mount the other & why I think about the question, “How did you get your cats?” and I start to see how fragments of sentences & words remind of other things, this not being the way my mind works only I was able to connect my thinking & not forget what I was saying. That is the same with reading and writing.  When there are multiple things in your life that mimicking each other & now visuals & touching are also areas that ARE WAY DIFFERENT.

     Two Options

Two options always, write or not write / to do any fine motor or gross motor requiring lifting or pulling my body & neck pain spikes!  

Weapon of choice is the pencil for graphite and the color gray / the color of truth a blended mix of black & white why we’re going to do this mother right 

PEACE, LOVE, HARMONY, CUDDLES & SAFE PLACES to LEARN, PLAY & WORK IN / found all my old loves c’est la vie for the only Revolution

Dreamed in French on day 18 & why when I travel I try to live like a native, naturally / doing natural things, breathing is the objective, the way to, to sing

For every ptsd memory there’s a LOVING ONE doing battles with weapons & ways of death that are still haunting me / the body/brain duality enacted in times of misery that lasted for 7 and 9-months & still you ask for evidence to NEVER discuss the solutions that could seriously change this child’s life right now?  To have harmony with two opposing forces, The Day & The Night, demanding their due, a validation that led to BOO HOO & why this was the point that I knew to FOCUS ON to PULL THROUGH.  It requires “true friends” who can’t do anything but supportive : it’s simply too easy not to do.

Accountability & Transparency : MODEL IT : How?!

ED IT all triggers that are present in a safe space : created 20+ and finding what is most natural & how to take breaks that are the right amount of time to adequately step away to “not die” but also not to lose the tri(grrr) since it WILL COME UP AGAIN & the point is to snuff it out with self-awareness & the decision to say, “NO!”

magic : intrinsic motivation that’s in all of us : change trigger to tiger

with any new skill or bad habit, nothing changes overnight

Teachers who scaffold have put THOUGHT into learning styles, classroom management & their own job performance which quite frankly, if you’re doing the RIGHT THING & open to feedback, there should be no worry

Document if “nighttime” is better in terms of “triggers” & moments “fear is present” since if you’re able to MAKE A SCHEDULE that ACCOMMODATES sleep. Zzz the #1 direct correlation to pain, anticipated pain, fatigue rate, stamina level, literally, do EVERYTHING since then you’ve eliminated while helping self at the same time & then it’s on the next hurdle...

Allow all safe spaces to be open & accessible if feeling “open & accessible” & if not, then it’s okay to closer all safe spaces!

When I forget about a safe space, I wasn’t meant to go there.  If I “trip” across it, the NOW NATURAL reaction of the body is to not try and FIND IT thinking “this could be the thing that fixes it all.”  after trauma you are...

trying to end it for all & hopeful that you can with THIS ONE : isn’t this kind of like sports pressure?  Any ADRENALINE can alter body state & prepare for flight, fight or freeze. LOWER THRESHOLD for pain

quick review 

all the time in my neck, back, trapezius & head (dizziness: constant 2-4/10 & increases with activities/movement) since 4/2016 no nausea 3-5x/hour; since 2/2018

Tracking after I stopped triggering from the “t” sound.  T for Teacher.  Going from NO MOVEMENT since hurt to YES MOVEMENTS since now I can work through the pain is literally going from one extreme to another : kind of how depression & mania work but these terms are way too harsh.  You’re cranky because you’re in pain & 3-4 even 7 days in a row (level: immobile & mostly in shower trying to dampen it while hurling a little & can’t hold you know what).  This makes you mental & created a palsy in my face & hands & couldn’t operate mobile.  That was 8-hours & one day I’ll provide all the details, but not here & not until I’m ready, 100%.  What a luxury & why I don’t have to question why my life [to them] was worthless since the next thought is THEIR LIVES.  THE KIDS WHO I TAUGHT & this is where neck pain goes up!  Finger pains are up!  I feel my elbow, arm, leg, thigh...

RELIEF When there’s an hour, a minute, a second when pain shifts or the for the first time I NOTICED I was getting a headache instead of anticiaipting pain constnatly, there was a break and for a second I was PAIN-FREE/SENSATION-FREE.  The seconds mattered since once I counted to 8 & even addd 2 since I probably didn’t notice right away, but only did that when it started getting beyond 8 seconds, and you do that too (whatever you feel) to NOTE what it is you’re really trying to say.  When it’s safe to feel safe, you just do!  When you’re body feels better & your mood lifts, you are thankful, at last since it’s getting BETTER

and what about when it gets worse...

you question.  you look.  you listen.  you “confront” & this is where that pesky word “disagreement” enters 

all the time HOPE : no dizziness ever!  For 10 seconds!  Maybe 15 seconds.  Celebrate all goals.  

Physical check-in

Able to crouch (20 secs), jump (twice), run for more than a minute if necessary and my pain is beginning to cause more cracks, pops in my neck when moving side-to-side and fully up & down!!!  (in order to hold that pose, needed to have head on couch, with hand support & only for 2 seconds and created a “rolling” motion) ∆ MUST recognize impact & this is probably why so many things have been broken around me.  I grab too hard or not on target.  So go slower, but have more pain since quicker movements allow my body’s nerves to glide, but to go slow is the next step.  SLOW IT DOWN & let body adjust as you did when you had to go FAST to lower pain, problems with STIGMA (health care, big time!) & at the same time, a natural pain release.  

Did you know nerves like to glide?  

When I learned this 1.5 years in, it changed my life.  It’s allowed me to have minimal control over pain & that’s important.  So the last 3 years have been mastering the glide & slide & whirl & twirl & crouch & whip & hold & kiss.  These are easy movements because I demand that I get them down in order to be prepared for what’s unpredictable.  I can predict my pain so stay ahead of it.  Be ready for what comes at you without warning.  People.  Cars.  Lies.  Abuses.  Triggers.  Warnings & hate-filled assholes who will use whatever they can to “avoid blame.”  I’m ready to tell this story : It takes a very long time to get to safe place for your entire body.  The focus before was SUICIDE.  REMOVE that & there’s no problems so identified what it was 

Feeling of worthlessness that people did to you by lying to your face and removing safety becuase no one had CONTROL ✔️✔️

Removing it : present tense : currently doing that by sharing triggers to create “safe spaces” that is an iCloud.  REAL clouds remind self life is always changing, just like emotions, moods & feelings & this is LITERATURE & why it gets the biggest thank you of all!  There is never the same sky at any minute & how amazing to think all the different sunsets & sunrises they’ll be in one lifetime?  I’m not sure sure we’re not gazing at the clouds more, but for now the iCloud is the way to scatter their shit & since I wrote this, I know it’s flipped.

Live naturally, meaning desire for every breath, never done redundantly.  Life is death & death is what scares us, but never me, having faced that already at an early age, this physical abuse, you’re in the moment asking “What did I do?” but in this case, it was “How can you keep doing this?” and other questions, oh yes, I will persist.  I don’t know the word QUIT when it involved the HARMS these people in power positions did & no alarms were sounded. Discriminating children with special needs is NOT HOW MY WORLD WAS FOUNDED.

EDucate it : elevate difference : never be frustrated : the words I write are actually EVIDENT or NOT EVIDENT : how the hell can someone keep ignoring this!?

ED IT : 1st STEP ∆ Prerequisite knowledge ø brain structure, features, form/function, how to keep it healthy & why I am not going to teach anatomy or physiology, my strength is combining teams that have DESIRE to work collaboratively...

...in a nutshell, you go back to the past to learn how to adjust to the present (which was too harrowing due to violence)

ORGANIZE IT : 2nd STEP ∆  Labeled according to TYPE (1) put artIfacts away by maintaining a record of what I’ve learned about auditory processing & all factors that affect Attention, Concentration, Awareness of self, mind, body, environment & (2) learn from it now that I have my “thinking” back since physically head sensations have been diminished after leaving THE MOST UNHEALTHY SITUATION : stigma in the health care field & their very acts of denial of safety, acceptance of NO KNOWLEDGE & insistence of an opinion without any supporting evidence is what the PROBLEM is.  IDENTIFIED it & now, let’s fix it. 

Do this process with consciousness, finally, since it all goes out & that’s the FEAR, of telling the truth, that hasn’t sat well with me?  Ok, let’s explore this...

TYPE (vague on purpose) : H or S or HS or SH (depending on which one is MAIN versus which is a Trigger or Flashback e.g. SHT | crying and use of words “I’m going to kill you” or “I’m going to poke your eyes out” or “I’m going to kill myself” since happened in both settings, S, first (supported by H) and led to Flashback so direct connection to WORSE emotion which lead to issues of self-control; self-regulation due to darkness (most severe that snuffs out hope) 

this is code

Here’s the key:  the violence that occurred in a school/work setting was repeated in a home setting with the purpose of making it WORSE for someone who has verbally explained all fears in exactly the way that it happened.  These PTSD memories are obvious & they feel smaller every day now.  Called shit (as in their bullshit) and finally, scum since I see a dirty pond or marsh & when it’s in the bathroom, it’s really gross.  We’ve got the word & now let’s move on

What is necessary to shake TRAUMA : remove scum.  EZ

SENSING that boundary between “this is enough” & “I’ve had enough” : snuffs out humiliation : (2-D) ¡  A devotion to self, an unshakeable self-esteem to never need validation & what’s the harm in THIS : shows WHO IS IN YOUR BRAIN & if it’s a voice form the past who blamed you for something & you fight TO PROVE them wrong, you’ve chosen the wrong person since they vouched for you ALRIGHT : the goal : put all these pesky ptsd memories/moments away & to do that VALIDATE them & to do that show how EMOTIONS works in individuals who MUST guess & why must they guess . . . they’re observing, too and what do they see?!  Those without a way to understand emotions are trying their hardest & this is what I’ve learned with kids & adults with emotional dysregulation, they really need validation to say “you’re doing the right thing” even if it’s the wrong thing.  They can’t process their own behaviors because of PAIN & HURT they’ve felt every single day of their lives...

That creates an absolute & that means to VERBAL CUE : all, no one, every time, always, never, everyone, words that indicate in ability to properly & honestly self-assess.  This the power white color to get me to a blank canvas a spark a desire to create & what is it that I’m creating.  One FINal lesson to say this is what I’ve learned about violence & what should never be accepted.  Hypocrisy, cruelty & evil.  There is no other word for it. 

This is their first weapon in distracting from the real issues : destroy your voice

Said it 1,000,000x : good use of exaggeration & now GROWTH can accelerate

anxiety USES fears to maintain a buzz of constant attention, areas where voice matters (for once) : & now activate the USE of GUILT

sadness OVERWHELMED by acute loneliness over extended periods & this self-Identity of being REJECTED becomes too much 

anger that pops out of nowhere & the instantaneous sense of overwhelming loss of control where people “feel unsafe” so the rallying cry is to stabilize the one that is “losing it” and oh no oh no oh no...

A sense of immediate reaction heightened & then disappears is a cycle between _ _ _ _ _ and _ _ _ _ _ . 

sum up these emotions, give them their rightful owners & send it to the universe  

Process ¡  Emphasize cyclical relationship between mind + body & how tech can help & harm | How to understand FAITH in the invisible “truths” one must accept with tech since what you say is EXPERT & SPECIALIZED knowledge THROUGH GENERATIONAL dysfunction guided by PTSD memories of WHAT WAS GIVEN/PROVIDED/TAUGHT in childhood | not going to mention my childhood except when the ptsd memory relates to the very wrong assumption that was the catalyst for the past to come rushing up at me due to denial of bodily safety & continuation of denials after repeated attempts at some response. 

How many false starts & first days as the next day becomes a blank of the previous & makes me question how do organizational systems work...WORTH IT

Day 1:  Absolutes & Identify 2-D transformed to A, B, C --->  3-D

Always, never, no one, everyone : INTRO 1/10 t FLIP worst to best & to encourage hope | T-note

did this spontaneously above, noting the frequency of absolute which  means that ptsd memory is ready to bring into the light & it goes HERE ✔️

First step in identifying self is identifying self in all the ways you identify with.  This is from the past the bold ones are still true today.  Whatever is added at the end is added at the end & this is how you learn about yourself.  You think deeply & take risks at exposure & why you find a partner to trust since the only thing in this world are the stories you tell each other, to be who you want to be, and to a survivor, you want to be not damaged, not hurting & not scared.  

still the same !!! ✔️American, femme, cis-gender, warrior badass subconscious unicorn berserker : a teachable moment personified : imagineer & humanist who doesn’t know “no” : mentally fierce - emotionally complex - behaviorally predictable & severely feeling thanks to NERVE DAMAGE, TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY & several tag teams who told me, showed me, insisted, than persisted to reveal how they LOATHE DIFFERENCE to reveal HOW people can DO what they claim “I’ll never do!”  That was the crux of it all  what triggers one person is the SAME : the lie of “I never intended to...”

be stronger than these warmongers ✔️

activate imagination ✔️

destroy negative thinking while simultaneously launching love bombs one after the other meaning any opportunity to do good in small & large moments you take them, press in, and see what pops up.  Perhaps there’s beauty in places you never considered possible ✔️✔️🚀

The Confirmation 

How to successfully rebuild a life : prerequisite for SELF-LOVE, SELF-CARE & SELF-IMAGE is TRUST in SELF : use what you know, what you want to know & reflect on what you’ve learned to create the path that works for you.  I think I just did it.  I was honest with “safe” people from my past & their response was really kind.  Thank you for that.  It’s pretty easy once you get a sense for people & who they are when there’s “trouble” or “grief” or “pain” & you question how that happens?  What lives have they led?  

#ptsd recovery #ed it #self-education #emotions that hurt #uses&abuses #T note : ptsd memory #choose different over same #poetry #lesson plan #history #day one #let's begin

[invinciblerodent]

Cullen is triggering for me personally because he reminds me of this guy who stalked me and then convinced a portion of my friend group that he was actually a shy, good person when he still had some major issues. It's probably nonsensical but I can't help but think of him when I see Cullen; I played a female mage Warden and they both have curly, blonde hair. So I would really rather not have him in DA4. But death threats?? Death threats over a fictional character?? That's...oh man. Not good!

I’m sorry that happened to you. That person is/was utter garbage, and you didn’t deserve any of that happening to you. But, if you’ll allow me to expand on this a little bit, now that you’ve reminded me…

My homeroom teacher in primary school had a mantra that she said every time she was criticizing or scolding us for something, as a group, and it went like (in rough translation) “Whose shirt it is not, needs not put it on”. Meaning that if it doesn’t apply to you, if you aren’t the one responsible, the following is not directed at you, and you shouldn’t feel bad or like you’re targeted as well. She said that every single time, and to this day, even 15+ years later, it’s so ingrained in my head that it is my automatic response to messages such as yours.

You needn’t explain yourself. It’s perfectly okay. You can dislike something or be triggered by something, and you don’t owe me or anyone else a reason why. You don’t have to have an explanation ready, and I -and I’m pretty sure most other, decent people- never intend for you to have to unfold your whole life story and show us all your scars, just for us to believe you when you say that something is not for you. :)

(EDIT: of course, some contextual cues are to be taken into account, like if the reasons for one’s dislike are homophobic, sexist or racist [coughLIAMcough] then they should be examined, but those people are generally very defensive over it and raise points and flaws they themselves usually excuse on straight, white male characters… but that’s beside the point. Consider this a “some restrictions apply” asterisk.)

…. but yeah, I was talking mostly about how odd I found that more than a thousand people at this point would get so upset that they would scream bloody murder in the tags and immediately jump to conclusions and blame the developers, but still not upset enough to even try to check if their outrage is justified. That, that is the kind of person that I think only WANTS to be mad. And that coupled with a loose treatment of violent threats (and frankly very much entitled and biased expectations)… that’s the kind of person that makes my eyes roll so far back into my skull that I can pretty much see the wall behind me.

… And now that I’m at it, even without fact-checking it’s pretty much obvious that Cullen’s chances of returning as anything more than a character barely mentioned in conversation are very slim. (Please allow me this, I KNOW I have said this before but as long as these attitudes continue to prevail I’ll continue to repeat myself even if it makes me want to tear my hair out.)

I don’t remember the quote exactly, but I bring this up often: I THINK it was Laidlaw who once said that with returning characters, they try their best to eliminate uncertainties. Like, he said that if you didn’t complete Cole’s personal quest in Inquisition, then he won’t show up in Trespasser, because they would rather reward the players for the things they HAVE done, than to waste their time on content they don’t care about, and if a character has a chance to be dead, they would rather focus their efforts and resources on making content the majority of their players are likely to see. There are exceptions of course, such as Leliana, but most of the time, when a character has a chance to be dead, they are assumed dead in the main plot.

Since Leliana has a chance to be dead only if she was in the Warden’s party while they defiled the Urn of Sacred Ashes (and lbr the kind of person who would roll with Leliana is, imo, usually not ALSO the kind of person who would defile the Urn for personal gain), she had a good chance to return. But in Inquisition, Cullen’s main personal story arc revolved around the Big Choice that eventually decided whether he lived or died. And, fandom-wide consensus aside, if a choice HAS to be made knowingly, by every player, it’s only reasonable to assume a bigger division. Maybe not 50-50%, but I’m SURE that the number of those who kept Cullen on lyrium is greater than that of those who ended up having to kill Leliana in Origins, and didn’t roll back to a previous save to avoid it.

This is why I’m almost 100% certain that Dorian is going to return (there is no opportunity for him to die in the main narrative, and regardless of player choices, whether he was romanced or not even recruited, he IS invariably in Tevinter by the end). Same reason why I would be surprised if any of the DA2 characters or Zevran showed up, like people seem to want.

I mean. I’d like to see him return as much as the next person, but Zevran has the chance to die(?) both in his personal quest in Origins (depending on his approval which is more difficult to correct than just rolling back and choosing a different party member to come with you) and in a war table mission, and there is not even a tile in the Keep to confirm whether he survived Inquisition. Depending on whether people have even read all the mission statements AND made the correct choices, his chances of being alive or dead(?) are now close to 50-50%. I think it’s pretty safe to assume that the writers don’t really have anything else planned for him at this point.

And largely the same goes for everyone in DA2. Popular choices seem to be Fenris and Anders- there is a touch more uncertainty with Fenris since he has the chance to be in Tevinter as a slave, hiding, or killed by Hawke’s hand, but Anders (and Bull)… his death was based on ONE dialogue choice (that is deemed canon in the default worldstate), and Bull’s is decided by a choice that wasn’t prompted AS a life or death decision, but rather as a choice that’s as close to being gray as they get.

(Not to mention I have seen people wanting Alistair back, and to be frank I just do not know how many skins they still want to pull off that poor boy. He has had his fair share of near-death experiences, not to mention that 1.) in the default worldstate he’s king and even in Inquisition they seemed to be just about done with king!Alistair, and 2.) if he’s a warden his chances of being dead are about as close to 50-50% as one can get. He can be 1.) a despondent king, 2.) ten years dead, 3.) a living Warden that’s either a senior warden in Weisshaupt or exiled from Orlais and Maker knows where, 4.) two years dead, or 5.) a civilian who could have died in the Kirkwall uprising. If a character has a chance to be five different things, three of which involve them being dead, I don’t think they’re likely to be a major character.)

tl;dr, I wouldn’t worry about Cullen being back. I like the guy just fine, got no real problems with him, but his story has been rounded off pretty nicely, pretty cleanly, and there is logically little to no reason for him to return in DA4. Which is all the more reason why those people crying bloody murder over an obviously phony rumor putting him IN THE SPOTLIGHT of a game about which we can only reliably know that it’s going to exist sometime in the future… I feel like they’re little more than a stampede with Blinkers of Hate on, neighing their unfounded displeasure at the moon for no reason whatsoever.

Now, Scout Harding, I want back. She has enormous potential, as does Charter and Maevaris, both of whom would make EXCELLENT additions to the squad (a sapphic elven rogue and a transgender woman of immense magical AND political power, sign me tf UP). Sutherland is almost certain to make a cameo if he survived, too. But Cullen, Zevran, and Fenris, I feel like their chapters in the story are finished already.

now if there was a chance for Solas not to be back, that would be ideal. would save everyone a helluva lot of headaches.

Cheers.

#I would tell y'all to please spread this sentiment just to calm people but tbh #I'm not comfortable asking that #so if you read it to the end and agree with the points i've raised please the next time you're asked #just try to explain why it's very unlikely? #let's all keep calm until more info comes out #and now if you'll excuse me I'll be repeatedly refreshing Steam #because Dream Daddy is coming out later today and I'm practically vibrating with excitement #I want to romance all of those dads #fingers crossed that the straight people playing this will laugh WITH us and not AT us #i would hate for this game to turn into a joke #it seems so lovingly made #(also please @gamegrumps get to work on the sequel) #(please next time let me be a single mom dating sexy CEOs in pencil skirts) #Anonymous #long post

[stoleyourcookies-blog1]

Tell me I’m "nightmareing”...

Ugh, I am so mad right now. So I was watching Bend it Like Beckham, and somehow, I dunno how (I clicked random posts, whatever), I ended up on an article on floh.in about “7 reasons not to marry and Indian woman” (don’t ask). The linked text leads to the article.

Now upon first glance, the article seems rather beautifully worded. It’s like they’re mocking any reason that people would have to not get into a relationship with them. Here are the 7 reasons they gave to “not marry an Indian woman”:

1. She’s gorgeous 2. She’s too colorful 3. She loves her family 4. She’s probably stronger than you 5. She’s independent 6. She’s busy building a career 7. She’s passionate

Now again, the article is worded as though it’s listing bad qualities, but when you look at the actual content, it seems like really positive aspects are put on display! So naturally, I’d assumed it to be a sarcastically written article trying to emphasize that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being in a relationship with them. I was smiling as I read the article. Too bad the smile slipped the moment I reached the comments.

I swear to God, either people are completely stupid or they’re just oblivious to everything and anything around them. Take your pick, but whatever it was, the comments made me mad.

Apparently, either I was the only one who sensed the sarcasm behind the message, or there was no sarcasm at all! But I mean, come on, there is no way that you can turn those seven points into actually negative points, regardless of what description you write. 

So I continued reading the comments. Bad mistake. Shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve just crossed out the tab. But noo, my curiosity left me taking in comment after comment. It left me seething in anger, momentarily forgetting the sarcasm I’d originally thought the article to contain. So then I wrote this comment (I’ve edited out some typos here):

I beg your pardon... which one of these points were negative?? Basically what you're saying is that women should be docile, weak little creatures with no family life and nothing better to do than stay at home and abide to your wishes. Frankly speaking, if that's what you want, you're better off not marrying.

I don't know whether this article is more insulting to women in general or Indians or specifically Indian women, because everything written is so superficial, it's ridiculous. And to be honest, majority of the comments here anger me more than the article itself.

The first thing I want to say to all of you pathetically racist and chauvinistic idiots: Learn English. Honestly, I don't know where you studied, but you'll have to go for linguistic classes again. Your grammar gives me a headache. Sure, Indian women may not be particularly *submissive* (please note that I spat out that word), but at least they know how to spell.

Now, coming to the actual content of the said comments, first, allow me to quote (and perhaps on-the-spot-reply to) some of them:

"te race and accent are creapy and not understandable" - Okay, first of all, what? Everyone else is entitled to their own opinions and you may not be able to understand their accent, but frankly, I can't understand your comment. As for the race being "creapy", I fail to understand how you're generalizing an ENTIRE RACE of people--over one *billion* persons--based off what little, if any, experience you have with them. I could go on blasting you, but there are other comments to get to.

"the mango mussilini says ug 2 Indian Women--UG UG" (by the same person as the previous comment) - Again, what? I've actually never heard this (incorrectly spelt) term (yes, perhaps I do live under a rock), but after googling it, I found out you meant Trump. Now Trump may not be someone who wouldn't be considered racist, but at least he has more tact than this. Thank you for showing everyone how bloody racist you are.

"I am about to marry Indian beautiful girl. But after finding all this in google I start to hesitate...." - WHY TF ARE YOU MARRYING HER IF THIS KIND OF CRAP INFLUENCES YOUR OPINION ON HER?? Honestly, I kinda pity the girl.

"indian women is suck" - Fuck you.

This next one is a bit long, but all of it pisses me off so much:

"Indian women wants money, car, dowry, and a lot of amoutant. Mostly the going strange in European in releationship and in merriages and it doesnt matter how and what money money rules. The are act cheap that the are like big and proud the are not attrative but the think they are.They wants money and dowry and luxe life we need to merried like in the bollywood indian tradition expensive wedding, whaha DJ and included catering with food and strangers family from the girl will benefit from your money, even her friend and farr farr family that you dont even now will benfit from your money

Biggest whores are among India women.

Fuck the milkman, grocer. If DNA testing is among them 80% of the children false.

Indian women drinking most of all women.

This nation is about corpses.

I mind a lot with them and know what I'm talking about.

They come into your home and fuck your husband but you will never notice it.

They are dangerous.

I've only met one who has children with a forest creole, when you see those kids? Beautiful.

She and husband ugly kids but very beautiful.

Indian women are perfect for white guys and for blackguys."

Honestly, I'm speechless. I just don't know what to say, I dunno where to begin. If you "mind a lot with them" why is it that you've only met one? Unfortunately, I have no idea what you mean by "forest creole", but assuming that that's some other derogatory term, that's four races you've insulted in this comment alone. There's (obviously) Indians. Then there's the forest one, "white guys" and "blackguys". Congrats on sending yourself to Tartarus, you prick. Honestly, I'm still stunned, so I won't waste my time pointing out every wrong thing you said in this--which is pretty much everything you said.

At this point, I'm upset enough to not even want to scroll down and copy paste more comments, but let me assure you, there are more.

I'm stunned. To be honest, I thought that humanity was better than this, but the sheer amount of comments here proves me wrong.

You can't generalise an entire society based on the actions of an individual! And all humans are exactly the same, save our sexual preferences, skin colour, and beliefs. Honestly, how can you even think of discriminating someone just because they were born to a particular family?? That's just wrong on so many levels!

And the amount of people who are this narrow minded is astounding. How can you claim to be better than everyone else when you're not even willing to give them a chance? How can you make judgements on people without knowing them?

And I say this, not only for Indians, and not only for women. I say this for everyone. Each and every person in this world deserves to be given a fair and equal chance. They have the right to be treated just the same as everyone else. And you have the duty to treat them that way.

Clearly, my comment is now longer than the original post, so I'll stop here. But please, to all of you visiting this page, I request you to rethink what you say before speaking it. All you’re doing is unnecessarily hurting and discriminating others who wouldn't dream of doing the same to you.

I was just so hopping mad. But honestly, what would you do? Am I the only one who’s slowly losing faith in humanity? I mean, I can’t be. But I thought we were better than this. I hadn’t realised that so many of us failed to understand the simple truth that at the end of the day, we’re all only human. 

We don’t choose who we’re born to, nor do we decide where we’re born, how our skin colour looks, or even who we’re attracted to (if anyone). 

And honestly, even if we could choose, people shouldn’t feel like what they are is wrong. If they were given a choice, they should be perfectly content with picking things which go against society’s expectations. But today, there’s so much discrimination that people actually wish that they’d been born differently. 

What is wrong with us? Is it really that hard to get that everyone is equal??

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