#who cares. she deserves everything

[ferberus-skull]

you WILL look at litebrite btw

#fr #flight rising #dragon share #aether #fr aether #my dragon #litebrite #i love herrrr #i just finished her earlier this week because i was feeling Bad #it helped at least a little to see her in her full glory #minus skin obviously. that'll come later. at some point. #anyway go give her a like please and thank you she deserves them <3 #i always love it when i finish a brand new project instead of finishing the ones i already have LOL #like yes she is not a g1. yes i got her for fodder price. yes i also spent 800+ gems on her #which i know isn't that bad but like. also. #lmao. #who cares. she deserves everything

[ashipiko]

did I hear a DOUBLE DATE ???????

😭😭 art block has been kinda sucky not really lately so in attempts to fix it after LOOOOTS of talking and rambling w my good friend @nohrianhime I decided HEY. WHY NOT DRAW THE DOUBLE DATE WE’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT??? <3 and look at how much fun they’re having fr

#yuuddle my everything ever #they’re so CUTE guys you DONT UNDERSTAND #oh to give you the love and affection you’ve deserved for so long…….. #also if you’re askin whats happening w ace?.. #he pissed riddle off and both yuu (riddle’s bf in the right) and ashi didn’t care to help #so he got collared 😔😔😔 during the date 😔😔😔😔😔 how embarrassing </3 #and to make it worse ashi’s eating all the cherry tart!!!! boohoo!!!!! #ACE TRAPPOLA WHO? #(she’s not feeding him any to tease him) #ace trappola x oc #riddle rosehearts x oc #twst yume #ashace #yuuddle #tag for me IG? dunno if any more yuuddle is gonna be seen by the public #ace trappola #ashi tamadai #twstshi #twst yuu #riddle rosehearts #twst #twisted wonderland #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland yuu #ashipiko draws ♪ #time to go back to doing a3! chibis for my friends as a break. kinda 🙏🙏🙏 art block makes me sad!!!!!!

[terriblegam2r]

I am so, so happy that Danai has finally been given the opportunity to write for TWDU, and especially to write for Michonne. Screeners are saying that episode four (the episode Danai wrote and showrunned for) is the best episode in the show so far and I’m not surprised by that in the slightest. Danai is a very talented writer (writing is what she’s most passionate about) and I’m so happy and glad that Danai can truly give the respect to Michonne (and her journey thus far) that she deserves. :’)

You see AMC, this is what happens when you give the reigns to talented people that actually really care about their character’s journey. Magic happens ❤️

#richonne #michonne #twd #the walking dead #towl #the ones who live #danai gurira #this has been a long time coming #since the start of her introduction Michonne has always been my favorite character on TWD #I love her character so much but a lot of the time on the flagship show she wasn’t given all the respect the character deserved #Michonne in this show is finally in the most caring hands and I couldn’t be more happy #we really are getting everything we want

[moeblob]

I met people I knew only online for the first time irl last night and I'm still extremely exhausted cause I am not a social person so here. Take an OC.

Katale (Kitty) is wonderful and I love her and she's a criminal and that's fine. She likes to look cute and so whenever I see a really cute outfit in public with a specific vibe, I'm like "Kitty would love that". So here. Please. Please know that I saw this very pretty woman jogging with her hair pulled back, running shorts, and the CUTEST top with a little scarf from the same fabric tied and wow. It was. So wonderful, please have a wonderful day @ the lady I saw jogging yesterday.

#my characters #kitty is so funny to me cause she is absolutely used to a life of crime #shes second in command in a huge group because she actually forfeited the top command spot to her future boyfriend #and now they are exes and besties and she just really likes their criminal crew #and then she adopts a lil agent guy bc hes like a puppy and she is like listen that is my son now you cant hurt him #ANY OF YOU TRY TO HURT MY SON I HURT YOU including you rud my beloved ex current boss #and hes just like okay #and then they become a very weird messed up family of two crime bosses and a good boy #but anyway kitty is the glue that holds everything together and she commits crimes on the side of being nice #like oh sorry im late to get here i had to kill a man #but its also her getting phone calls from rud telling her sorry babe cant show up im a bit gross #and shes like oh yeah dude i get it sometimes blood just doesnt wanna hide :c ttyl smooches ily #anyway she deserves to have cute outfits and no one is gonna tell her otherwise #ALSO for those who dont know and might care shes a weeb she watches so much anime #she just ..... really likes anime and makes rud watch some shows with her during and after dating #he just goes along with it no complaints and he doesnt understand all the appeal #but it makes kitty happy so hes happy

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

Im so proud of Omega

Like just so so proud of her

#seeing her grow over the show has been one of my favourite stories in star wars #and i just love her so much #she’s such a badass #and has such a good heart #and i just want her to have everything in life because she deserves it #she cares about her brothers so much #not just the bad batch but every clone ever #even emerie!! #she just wants them all to have the lives they deserve and refuses to leave anyone behind #like she’s like that without even expecting the same in return #man even her love for batcher!! how she helped her and refused to leave her!!! #i love that so much about her #remember how shocked and touched she was in the very beginning #when the bad batch cane back to kamino for her #ugh i just love omega #and im so proud of who she’s growing up to be #she’s amazing #she is everything to me #if anything happens to her im rioting #star wars #tbb omega #the bad batch #sw the bad batch #tbb emerie #kate's post

[welcometoteyvat]

the only thing i took away from hsr 2.1 is that march is gay

#who is this bartender and can she become playable she deserves a full on the mouth kiss #hsr spoilers #hsr #also aven meeting his younger self is cute tho i still havent gotten to the part where they explain who tf is speaking thru his future self #but i actually hate how the game pushes you to keep pulling for newer units oh my god like i dont wanna do dot damage stop making your boss #bosses able to be oneshotted by black swan acheron kafka and nobody else #pov person who hasnt progressed through aven boss fight because it's taking way too damn long. prolly a skill issue but just let me play #my fav characters i dont need this fucking powercreep stuff T_T #ramblings! #also aven is growing on me but also idc his design is too dripless and so is boothill's im like -_- #the only pretty people are robin and siobhan the bartender and im so sick of physical.............. #also i tghink this is just a side effect of being way more invested in genshin bc i cannot fully pay attention to the lore tm #they be revealing things left and right and i just dont care so it flies over my head #at least they properly gave everything needed to understand avens backstory before we have to fight him

[bittersweetresilience]

say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess

cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you

and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while

don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing

so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake

and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think

so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today

#miraculous ladybug #felix fathom #marinette dupain cheng #felix graham de vanily #🌃 #ml amv #felinette felinette felinette FELINETTE #i'm shrimping so hard i'm gromping i'm making absolute tempura #yes the 2 am coco pops félix post was made while i was finishing this yes i am constantly experiencing inconsolable félix feelings #félings even. GOD GOD GOD okay listen #i could do a line by line analysis of this song and how i made the amv i have too many thoughts to put in the tags i am exploding #but in summary REPRESENTATION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPLIQUE. FUCK ME #félix's trauma an open scar leading her to the art room as far as both of them will go to feel right #ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS TO KEEP ADRIEN AND THEN MARINETTE SAFE #it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark huAHUAHHGAG I MTHRWOING UP it's how he doesn't care what she thinks of him #how she sees him whether she hates him he's Chosen her as someone to protect and he will DO IT he will TAKE HER WHEN HE RUNS #i don't care if you beat me i know i have this under control and i'm protecting you and everything is going to be okay EXPLOIDNGNIG #tomorrow is a mile away tomorrow where i find out who you are tomorrow where we have to come apart #this is how it GOES you're the hero i'm the villain adrien is the lover i'm the monster i'm the cousin #marinette and félix and Knowing each other is so #THEY DESERVE SO MANY OTHER DAYS THEY DESERVE TO SLOW DOWN AND BE WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT HAVE TOMORROW PULL EVERYTHING AWAY AND UAHAUHGAUGH #i'm not well about them. félix and freedom and escape #ALSO i have so many feelings about félix cherishing the people he wants to save so much he was willing to do the same thing that led to #his own trauma and use the peacock miraculous TWICE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ARE YOU KIDDING ME #you can read it differently but right now come with me ARE YOU KIDDING ME #also ALSO i often think about how felinette standing in front of réplique is a reference to pv felinette #and me placing that directly before the wish is a nod to how the pv was rewritten into canon miraculous. a meta wish... felinette remains #but also in universe you can wish away the world that once was and you'll still never find another thing quite like félix #and who you were and could have been to each other today... cherish him marinette... please cherish him for me #i hit tag limit on this essay so i'm not tagging the episodes i used in the amv but i used all eight félix episodes as always

[torgawl]

i think what hits most about nobara's backstory is everything that's left unsaid and peaks from between the lines. it's the fact you can easily infer that something was wrong without ever having clear answers on what exactly was wrong. but if you can relate to the feeling of wanting to escape a place and the alienation from everyone around you, especially when you're brought up in small communities, then you can certainly understand, if not fully then partially, nobara herself and the struggles she might have had to face all by herself for a very long time; maybe even the importance fumi and saori had in her life and the pain from having to part from them; and, perhaps the selectiveness in letting people in that she later on develops as well.

#the way her story is told from fumi's point of view is quite interesting #nobara's backstory is like a silent whisper without a lot of obvious context and told from someone else's perspective #someone who until the end never really understood her fully despite their obvious close bond #someone who we weren't even aware was part of her life #and nobara's peak emotional moment and the last person she thinks as her life is in danger is her and the promise she didn't accomplish #a promise to reunite with the friends that shaped her and her life #ah. #i find her last line so... powerful? #she definitely struggled growing up and the only two people she kept in her heart from her life before jujutsu were people that #moved to where she lived. saori didn't even stay in that place for long. and then she moves somewhere new and she meets people #and a group that actually feels like home a community where she fits in and suddenly they kind of break through making place in her heart #just for everything to come to a halt. to turn to shit. for her to see that shatter away little by little. and in the end she's put in a #position where she knows she will not be able to hold on to what she cares for the most. that she will hurt people that truly cared for her #for not being able to go back to fumi and rekindle the friendship with saori and for being forced to be another punch in the guts for yuuji #and everyone else that up until that point were forced to go through losses already and traumatic events #and she decides to encourage yuuji to go on a good note and she truly believes the people she met made it worth it #even if it was for a brief moment in her life #i am not being coherent right now but it pains me :') #she deserved so much better #and i will hang on tightly to the line saying that she had a small chance of survival until the end #because she deserves it she deserves to live 😭 #i'm taking her from that stupid anime and putting her in a slice of life anime watch me #yuuji too. and everyone else. i'm taking the kaisen out of the jujutsu and you can't stop me #jjk spoilers #nobara kugisaki #jujutsu kaisen #jjk 💭 #my post

[aquanutart]

After saving the land before them Zelda and link were tied and they need to sleep. So they went on there Horse to the Village to Link’s house. As Zelda was so happy she was also glad to know that all that had happened was all in the past.

Zelda was so happy to not be in the Castle trying to stay awake. Everything was fine now she was with Link. When they got about 4 hours away Zelda saw that there were some people out in the distance. She had not seen people in forever she said to link to set up camp for the night and she would go talk to the people and she would come back with some food so they could cook.

Link looked at the people in concern I will be fine just go set up camp he nodded his head. Zelda loved to see the blue sky and the birds and the sway of the grass she never wanted to it to end. When she started talking to the people they were a little of but she just thought that they were excited to see her they just offered bananas to her. All at once she remembered that Link told her about a Yiga clans they would look like a normal person but they were not.

she screamed “Link” he came running at full speed and right on time the Yiga clan members were not the week kind but the much harder to kill ones. One did have a bow though Link killed the one with a sword first but the one with a bow was so fast Link told Zelda to run back to camp she didn’t want to leave him alone but she went behind a big rocks and hid.

Zelda Hurd nothing but a sweet sound of a little bird chirping in the distance. Then she heard a scream it sounded like a link she ran all the way to him the Yiga was not dead but it retreated because it has fulfill its duties. It had shot Link right in the chest with his bow 4 times he was wheezing and gasping for air. Link grabbed two of the arrows and pulled them out. Zelda squinted with fear she knew that it needed to be tended to right away. But all she had was bananas and a small cloth she was watching him grab the other two arrows and he was pulling them out. He Was in a great amount of pain. She tried to talk to him for the very first time she said “ we need to get you to a stable first but we then will rush to Hatnao village”. Link tried to speak but the pain took over.

“shh you need to save your strength right now” Zelda said. She could tell that he Was in A lot of pain. Blood started to turn his clothes red and Zelda new that she will need to hurry or he wouldn’t make it! she said to him can you get on the horse he said. I-can try-to get on…. She was getting so worried that he wouldn’t be able to make it. She helped him get on the horse and they started to ride.

after about an hour or so it started to get worse they were about 20 minutes away from the staple. And he fell off his horse Zelda jumped off and rushed to the side. He was Groaning with pain as much more blood came out. At this time he was as white as the cloud He was barely breathing and struggling when he was. They finally got to a stable she found some cloth and wiped off the wound with some water. He was wincing with pain she didn’t want it to be painful but she wanted to be clean.

she turned one of the horses in so they could ride together in and he can rest. Zelda did not notice how much blood he had Lost buddy was struggling because of the blood loss they were almost to the village about only 30 minutes away when it started to get worse blood was rushing out now and Zelda was worried. The time before his eyes were open but his eyes started the clothes slowly.

Zelda knew it had to be because of blood loss or was that the reason she turned around and stop the horse she put her hand to Link’s for head he had a very high fever. She knew that the fever was going to cause some pain and some discomfort but she knew she had to get to the village that was all of her concern. when she made it to the village people came running out of their houses link was not awake anymore so They took him to his house and laid him down on the bed. Zelda fell asleep on the bedside Well they tend to his wounds.

She was still very worried for him but than her friend pura came in she said check it her normal thing she looked at link and said what happened Zelda explain to the story as pura made some food on the stove for when he woke up and fore them of course. They talked for hours then Link woke up wai-r am I… don’t worry you’re in your house he fell back asleep after about 20 minutes he was obviously exhausted from blood loss and a fever. After he was all better and able to walk again I Zelda and him continue their adventures as one! The end. Thank you so much for your kindness and your help for your love and kindness always gives me energy.❤️❤️❤️ I just want to ask if you can draw like a little seen out of this you are such an inspiration to me 😊

Hello! Thank you for all your kind words!! I'm really happy if I can give you energy; thank you for all your kindness and positivity as well! I always see you tagging people just to say nice things to them; it's really sweet and always makes me smile! 😊😊💖

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I really enjoyed reading it!! I don't take requests, but I did imagine this based on your story! (I'm sorry if it's not exactly what you had in mind!)

#legend of zelda #botw #zelink #zelda #link #aquanutart #replies #long post #blood #I hope there's always someone looking after you as well as zelda is taking care of link! 💖 #I read your recent post and I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through 😭 #I'm wishing for you to be well and that you keep doing everything you love! you deserve to always have people who care by your side! #I feel so glad that Zelda doesn't have to worry now that she's with Link and they can share the house in Hateno Village! #At least it seemed so peaceful but then--?!! It's sweet that Link tells her to get to safety while he rushes to protect them both! 😭 #I was really worried about Link when the Yiga shot him so many times!!! #and Zelda only had bananas and a small cloth! That's not enough to treat such severe wounds oh no!!! #he pulled all those arrows out himself?!!! no wonder he was in such a great amount of pain! OUCH that sounds horrible!!! 😭😭😭 #treating a wound hurts but Zelda's right it's more important for it to be clean! #the wound sounds so painful I'm so worried about him.. poor zelda wondering if he's going to make it! 😭 #and now he has a fever too oh no?!! I can feel what a rush theyre in when they arrive at the village; Zelda thinking only of getting there! #HE'S OKAY!!! I'm so relieved he was able to recover from that incredible amount of blood loss!! 😭😭😭 #I hope Zelda will stay by his side and hold his hand while he recovers! I love that they continue their adventures together!! #I'm so glad there was a happy ending! Thank you for sharing your story! I've never gotten an ask like this before!

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Idc what anyone says, Oropher would love to meet his grandchild and grandchildren via Miriel.

Everyone: They’re KINSLAYERS!

Oropher:

Does It Look Like I Give A Fuck?

#lord of the rings #silmarillion #lotr #thranduil #lotr elves #feanor #miriel #sons of feanor #Oropher #shamelessly pushing my ‘miriel and thranduil are twins agenda’ #oropher does not care about the murder #only grandchildren #so does Cloudryad obviously #feanor and his kids in mandos #getting jumped by the grandparents he didn’t even onow he had #who unconditionally love him and his kids regardless of their mess #dior inthe halls: they’re kinslayers! they deserve everything they get and more! #Cloudryad pulling out her sword she somehow still has in the halls: you wanna say that agin you lil bitch? :) #feanor: *watching all this go down in a daze* what the fuck #oropher: where do you think you got it from? #oropher @ his wife: GO FOR THE KNEECAPS BABE!

[aq2003]

series 3 is so frustrating because there is like a shining core of pure diamond underneath the problems . like conceptually it rocks so incredibly hard. but the problems

#dr who #i am being so honest when i say ten should have gotten on his knees and begged for simm!master's life #they should have framed the bit between him and martha's mom so different #like yes it is 10000% in character that the doctor with his bleeding heart and loneliness wouldn't want to kill him #even after everything that happened. because he's the only person he has left. 'i forgive you' was PERFECT. #but literally anyone else that suffered from what the master did. Deserves to rip him to shreds. so very obviously #and like i know.i KNOW that i am watching the 'funny immortal alien saves people through time and space' show #but i actually despise the doctor being framed as like an all powerful savior. or treated like one. even for a little bit. is Annoying #the first part of the series 3 finale having martha be humanity's last hope was SO GOOD bc it like kind of set her up as like #having to grapple with all that responsibility and attention like the doctor does. everyone's lives are in her hands. so crunchy #but when it like slides into 'everyone pls believe in our specialest boy in the world The Doctor <3' it just. falls flat #i feel like with a couple tweaks here and there in the execution and like actual fuckinnn people of color in the writer's room #series 3 would be PEAK media. but as it is it's just. falling short. #i do really appreciate martha deciding to leave ten on her own though. first of all. qpp down. second of all #she's realized that she can't keep traveling with him. bc (as i mentioned) hes someone who simultaneously needs saving #and refuses to be saved in the ways that matter. Yes im fucking ignoring the unrequited romance angle i think #it does a gigantic disservice to martha's character if u boil her down to that. fight me i dont care if that was the authorial intent #martha in the end is too kind to ten and ten keeps making her watch his meandering path of self destruction. toxic doomed qprism to ME. #anyway fuck. idk man series 2 consensus was that im dead inside and series 3 consensus is that the version i have of it in my head is peak #series 2 is better but i think because of my ten martha insanity i actually enjoyed watching series 3 more than series 2. #even if i got mad at it more than any other season. i think something is wrong with me. um. lmao #ten and martha #10 era

[gingerwerk]

Rewatching s3 and I am Thinking about elora and bear and their dads and their half siblings.

How bear wanted nothing more for so long to be a part of his dads life and fought so hard to be loved by him and eventually had to accept that his dad didn’t love him, would never love him, and that he has half siblings he didn’t know about but also knows right after he learns about them that his dad doesn’t care about those kids either

And then there’s elora who never thought to look into her dad, who he was, if he was even alive and when she actually does reach out she doesn’t exact anything from him, is trying to put distance between them because she probably expected a bear situation where she also has a deadbeat dad. But he’s not that. Her dad immediately tries to fold her into his and his other kids lives, gives her a photo of her and her mom, apologizes for stepping back from raising her, invites her out to pizza fridays, and even eventually gives her his truck

And I’m sure bear feels a little hurt in general about elora and her dads relationship but he’s also probably so happy for her because bear has his mom and now at least elora has her dad

#idk the two of them and their families are so important to me!!! #and after everything elora has lost (her mom. Daniel. her grandma) she deserves to gain something!!! #bear has always had his mom who has always openly showed how much she loves and cares for him #while elora has had her grieving grandma to raise her and never got a chance to be Loved by a parental figure #don’t mind me I’m just yelling into the void #Kelly watches reservation dogs

[synodic-lupine]

BPD Tenth Doctor

#tenth doctor #doctor who #just the way he does relationships in general pings that way to me #how he needs someone as his anchor point and they become his whole world #the clinging but then pushing away or lashing out when scared of losing them #the way he seems to stop caring about his own wellbeing when someone he cares about is in danger or gone #the 'no second changes' mentality #while also going way way out of his way to offer people a first chance even when they don't deserve it #the whole harriet jones situation #and really a lot of how he interacts with jack #the type of way he messes things up with martha #and how he just sort of assumes every time donna asks for a break she is gonna leave for forever #how he clams tf up when people DO promise him forever #the 'always on the run' attitude where it feels safer to never settle down #bpd is a presentation of trauma and an adaptation to survive it #and it's like how he's adapted to deal with the trauma of losing literally everyone and everything in the time war #his relationship with Rose is what made me think about bpd 10 in the first place tbh #she's his Favorite Person and he's different around her than anyone else #and he's riding the high of being with her while petrified of losing her while also doing things to push her away out of fear #then when he loses her it's like he's fully lost himself too #and he's so much more defeated and weary of caring after that

[rxttenfish]

honestly i just really want to see aaravi deal with miranda's... sincerity? like, miri tries very hard to engage with other people and their interests as best she can, and is always very upfront and flattering and prone to heaping on the praise in a very simple and genuine way when someone else shows her something theyve worked very hard on or are proud of. i just want aaravi to have an excuse to show off for a moment and then entirely freeze up blushing and overwhelmed when miranda actually appreciates it and fawns over her.

#all the care guide says is 'biomass' #miravi.txt #i think miri deserves to give ravi an ego problem. i think she should feel so proud and confident in herself #i think miri should be her cheerleader to praise her and cheer her on and appreciate all the hard work ravi does #and how much time and effort and Everything shes put into what she cares about #especially someone like miranda who doesnt occupy her same circles and thus it especially helps ravi #to feel like shes making progress and have someone who wont judge her and has no ulterior motives in it #just want miri to hit ravi's praise kink with a bullseye #monster prom

[thatsparrow]

they did norrington so right with the quiet, emotional but still restrained, "do not make the mistake of believing you are the only man here who cares for elizabeth"

#like. up until this point in the movie how has norrington been presented? on the crossing he's humorless and very buttoned-up #once elizabeth's grown up there's that conversation where her father makes reference to his hopes for the two of them getting together #she's deeply unenthused. now we have norrington as the unexciting but expected romantic prospect (vs. her immediate chemistry with will) #the promotion ceremony is formal but not terribly exciting. his proposal is awkward and uncompelling #he mistakes elizabeth's clear physical discomfort for nerves (and yeah. he's nervous too. but she's literally struggling to breathe) #he's not only dismissive of jack (arguably rightfully so. but at this point jack is clearly someone we're meant to root for) #he's quick to threaten hanging. he wholly overlooks any role will played in the capture (will who we're also clearly meant to root for) #all respect to the norrington girlies but at this point in the movie he's certainly not a hero or someone we're meant to sympathize with #and then elizabeth gets taken! and will storms in!! and he's all righteous anger over her capture #and norrington's response /doesn't seem good enough!! and we're with will who's clearly ready to do whatever it will take to save her #and then norrington's composure breaks and we get this banger line. of course he cares. of course he also cares for elizabeth #but he's commodore of the fort! unike will he doesn't get the luxury of letting those feelings drive him to the disregard of everything els #excellent character moment. we didn't deserve this movie every element absolutely rips the whole way through #kayla posts #pirates of the caribbean

[edelorion]

#edel vents #disclaimer: really personal issues in the tags. also wishes of death upon others. this is PROBABLY too much information tbh... #so if you're not up for it scroll down fast!!!! the deluge is coming!!! #today was... eventful. bad. also very bad. grandma's birthday celebration was today #and while she... definitely has Old People Issues (racist) shes also very lonely since the death of my grandfather so i can't really not go #i'm the only one who really visits her regularly to begin with #aside from the... very serious racism issue... she's “alright”. i guess. but that's besides the point. there's family there #and among those... my parents. which i don't like to talk to #discovered they threw more of my old stuff away. typical. wanted to strangle them. as usual. #had to “talk” with my mother (read: spend approximately ten seconds reciting exactly why i *don't* talk to her anymore) #so that whole ordeal completely soured my mood. #went home tired. can't really do anything right now. #at least the food was good i guess. but i also really want to cry... which i can't. which sucks. #...i really like to think i've improved as a person. i used to be really hateful of everything and everyone #worst of all myself. still kinda do but i'm... getting better..? #i like to think i've grown past most of it but every time i see my parents i feel this gripping at my heart. as if i haven't really changed #as if instead i'm still the hateful person i “always was” deep down... bc there's this visceral joy that i feel whenever i'm mad at them. #when i looked at my mother and told her how much i despise her i felt a shiver of happiness. righteousness. #to be clear: i do NOT care for her. at all. she's the worst person on this earth #and the only person whom my philosophy of “nobody deserves to die” does NOT apply to. i'm not scared of hating her. #she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred #i don't want that. not anymore. it consumed me whole. i was a horrible person back then and i've caused so much grief for so many #i can't let go of this hatred. i can't forgive them. they don't deserve my forgiveness anyway. but i'm tired of hating. #i'm tired of letting that hatred define me. i'm tired of letting that hatred direct me. i'm tired of letting it bring me to ruin. #i'm tired of being who i was. i'm no longer “that”. i'm edel now and i'm happy for people now. if i don't like something i just walk out. #i can just leave. “if it sucks hit the bricks” right?.. but i didn't. i had to say it. i had to tell them. her. and i liked it. #and... i'm scared of that. because it tells me i haven't improved. #i'm not sure what i'm expecting out of posting this i guess. maybe help. maybe i wanna be told that this is normal or something. #maybe i just want to get my thoughts in order. i don't know. i'm gonna stop writing now. #sorry for making you read all this. thanks for doing it anyway. tags were cut off on this one btw so it may look like a mess. but. yeah.