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#also if you’re askin whats happening w ace?..
ashipiko · 2 months
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did I hear a DOUBLE DATE ???????
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😭😭 art block has been kinda sucky not really lately so in attempts to fix it after LOOOOTS of talking and rambling w my good friend @nohrianhime I decided HEY. WHY NOT DRAW THE DOUBLE DATE WE’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT??? <3 and look at how much fun they’re having fr
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hamstertitan · 6 years
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i dunno who to come to lol so im just askin’ whoever i see here but im havin an identity crisis and idfk how to deal with it.... i think i might be ace but im scared to accept it hah... and i also still find some peeps attractive and im open to dating but i really think i might be ace *screams* are u ace? if u are, how did u come to terms w it bcause whats confusin me is the fact that i think i still hav some sort of attraction halp sorry i dun even know if we on the same boat im just panicked
I’m not very good at advice, but I do happen to be in a similar situation. Honestly I don’t know either if I’m ace but I’ve had my suspicions for a while. I have the same thoughts as you’ve written here like being open to dating. At first I got anxious because I like to know, but once I started giving up on that I’ve come to terms with that my sexuality is just a mess and I’ll figure it out eventually. 
I’m no expert on asexuality but some still feel romantic attraction (to any gender or just one or some). How to see the difference between romantic and sexual I don’t know yet since I can’t say I’ve ever felt any of them. :/
About coming to terms with being asexual I’m not really sure how to do it, because it didn’t freak me out. I get being scared of for example how people will react tho? I don’t really talk about this with people because it’s difficult. 
But in the end I just always try and remember that no matter what I end up being once I’ve gotten my answers, it doesn’t matter. I’m still me. Anything is okay, gay, bi, ace, straight, etc. I know that can be difficult if you’re surrounded by people that don’t think the same (which I know a lot of people are, hopefully you’re not), but they’re wrong (and aholes). 
You don’t have to have all the answers now. It’s okay not being sure and not knowing. And there’s nothing wrong with being ace. I know that’s easy to say but difficult to feel at times, but please trust me, anyone who says anything different are shit. 
I hope my rambling make some kind of sense at least. Like I said, I’m not good at this. But most of all I hope you’re feeling better. I really wish I had more to take from than my own personal experiences. :c
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ONE (1) WHOLE EMPATHY ==>
[[ logs with @carnivalsorphans​, trolling npcs Aradia and Feferi. Aradia is not the troll getting or giving one (1) whole empathy. ]]
-- cataclysmicSwing [CS] began trolling carnivalsOrphans [CO] --
cataclysmicSwing he d0esnt kn0w fire dancing at all, d0es he all ive seen is menti0ns 0f aerial silks
carnivalsOrphans no, he don't. he don't go hunting, neither, he just waits for others to get too close. you're a fuckin moron and you deserved ta get caught.
cataclysmicSwing yeah, uh huh, g0t that last time just wanted t0 c0nfirm, seeing as y0ure apparently his ment0r
carnivalsOrphans i teach him silks and in exchange he gives me horns and bones.
cataclysmicSwing awes0me anyway, c0ngratulati0ns y0ur student w0nt be missing practice, y0ure welc0me, g00d night
-- cataclysmicSwing [CS] ceased trolling carnivalsOrphans [CO] --
carnivalsOrphans > That was probably a threat. Stupid fuckin coward can't even stick around long enough to have it make sense.
cataclysmicSwing > She’s equipping the Captor’s block with aerial silks. Ominous.
carnivalsOrphans > Well, time to troll someone else.
-- carnivalsOrphans [CO] began trolling crownCuller [CC] --
carnivalsOrphans heard ya might be busy and ya might wanna stop bein busy for a few minutes
crownCuller > Feferi has finished her sixth business meeting of the night, hasn’t slept more than ten minutes at a time in over a week, had coffee spilled on her very heat-sensitive hands, and an unfamiliar account is messaging her personal, private handle. > She rubs her face, takes a breath, and tells herself to think sweet thoughts.
38? S)(ello, w)(o is t)(is? Very busy IND--E--ED boat alwaves )(ave t)(e time to kelp!
carnivalsOrphans i ain't completely decided yet. either an enemy, or someone who'll leave ya the fuck alone that all depends on what ya tell me glad you is so eager to help
crownCuller )(m. You )(ave a finteresting wave of intunaducing yours)(elf!
carnivalsOrphans > Goddamnit, this ain't the time to be charmed by fish puns.
yeah, i like to think so
crownCuller W)(ale, let's sea w)(at we can do )(ere, s)(ell we? W)(at seams to be t)(e probubblem?
carnivalsOrphans you got sollux captor you intend ta use him to further your cause
crownCuller O)(... You must be t)(at clown Aradia was telling me aboat. Ringleader, fis)(n't it?
carnivalsOrphans ;o)
crownCuller I'd rat)(er avoid issues if posseabubble. Too muc)( fig)(ting foar bad reasfins, don't you sink?
carnivalsOrphans depends on ya reasons, honestly so what are they
crownCuller Sollux Captor is a crus)(oal part of our plan to OV--ERTHROW AND R--EHAUL TH--E --ENTIR--E --EMPIR--E.
carnivalsOrphans well no shit
crownCuller Fin fact, we acs)(oally can't do it wit)(out )(im. W)(ic)( is )(onestly terreefble.
carnivalsOrphans i got mixed feelings on rebellion. your job, this exact second, is convince me the overhaul is gonna be somethin worth fightin for.
crownCuller W)(ale... If seaccussfully ac)(ieved, t)(e over)(aul would lead to t)(e abeelishment of t)(e caste difis)(ion structure. Jobs, poseations, AMBOC--EANS TH--EMS)(--ELV--ES, will naut be controlled by a troll's color. T)(e constant fig)(ting wit)(fin and wit)(out our seaciety will also be put to a )(ALT. Troops pulled out of conflict wit)( other species, eelstablis)(ing peace treaties, acs)(oally utilizing our resources to repair our own struggling economy, end slavery, bring war criminals to account and ideelly atone foar t)(eir crimes wit)(out addoceanal suffering...
carnivalsOrphans that's a lotta ideals and just what are you willing ta do, to make this all come about?
crownCuller W)(ale, yes. And I've been planning on )(ow to make t)(em )(appen foar quite some time. W)(at I going to do is take )(--ER out mys)(elf, wit)(out risking ot)(er potentieel casualties. But t)(ere is no seanario w)(ere I can win, and no seanario that an army will either.
carnivalsOrphans so you're willing ta put someone who didn't ask for this shit on the front line
crownCuller T)(is is w)(ere t)(e discovery of lime psi came in, aboat... o)( s)(ell, seamw)(ere over t)(irty sweeps back? Sollux is unfortunately t)(e only one we've gotten wit)( t)(e correct type. )(e was meant to be finformed of t)(is a long time ago, boat w)(en )(e came to me, t)(e Sufferists )(iding in my )(ive scared him off befoar we could meet. T)(--EN of course )(e )(as been understandably paranoid, and kills any w)(o try to find )(im. I )(ad )(oped )(e would calm in time, but it's too close by now.
carnivalsOrphans so has he ever agreed?
crownCuller 38/ I just said )(e )(asn't been finformed.
carnivalsOrphans and so the best way ta inform him was to put out a hit on him, fail to kidnap him, and then succeed to kidnap him, injurin him in the process? what happens if he don't agree?
crownCuller T)(en again, )(e may )(ave known somefin befoar! I w)(ale admit I was not fin charge of monitoring. T)(ere are a lot of fins going on at once )(ere. If )(e says no?
carnivalsOrphans ta bein part of this
crownCuller W)(ale, we'll find out, won't we. I've been told )(e woke up a little w)(ale ago acs)(oally, would you like me to pass on any message from you?
carnivalsOrphans no, tell me. what are you gonna do if he says no
crownCuller Sea w)(at it is )(e isn't understanding, of course!
carnivalsOrphans and what if he still don't wanna?
crownCuller Sollux is a troll w)(o agrees wit)( w)(at makes sense to )(im. T)(is plan will, )(e's )(alf of t)(e trolls we tailored our plan to.
carnivalsOrphans and what if he says 'fuck you, i don't wanna do this because you kidnapped me and hurt me' what if he just wants ta be left alone? what if he ain't reasonable?
crownCuller )(e's V--ERY W--ELCOM--E to take t)(at up wit)( Aradia.
carnivalsOrphans i'm not talkin about aradia. i'm talkin about you
crownCuller S)(e is an aggressive troll, and )(e's learned to be, so it's more t)(an a bit diseastrous! 38(
carnivalsOrphans oh no oh no, people don't like bein kidnapped they get aggressive if they are taken forcibly from their hive :o(
crownCuller )(e wasn't S--EAPPOS--ED to be kidnapped, good gracious.
carnivalsOrphans well, then what do you know about the teal? you are the LEADER, you ain't supposed ta just go 'oh yeah, my rail did it, i didn't mean it that weren't me'. she did it for you, you gotta take responsibility he's got every fuckin RIGHT ta take anythin up with you
crownCuller W)(ale of course )(e does.
carnivalsOrphans 'he's very welcome to take that up with aradia' ain't that what i just read with my own two ganderorbs?
crownCuller I didn't reelize every word I say )(as to )(ave footnotes foar all t)(e extra comments. 38/
carnivalsOrphans you're a LEADER YOU'RE GONNA BE A QUEEN GET FUCKIN USED TO IT.
crownCuller > “Holy nook-fucking pitch goddesses, does he really think I’m as diligent with disclaimers in private as I am in public. Dumbass.” > The troll bringing her an iced tea looks startled. Feferi gushes apologies and charm. Now, for the dumbass.
T)(at is already w)(at I do on t)(e nig)(tly baseas, and I've been told it's annoyfin to add paragraphs of detailed explanocean to every comment in private conc)(versation! T)(is is a private conc)(versation fis)(n't it? 38( If you wanted an offis)(oal talk you s)(oald )(ave gone foar my business )(andle.
carnivalsOrphans whoops didn't care enough. what happens to sollux if he don't want to help you. ignore the reasons why, just assume full stop he don't wanna help and it ain't gonna change least not without the kinda persuasion that comes from somethin other than words
crownCuller You are talking aboat a 1% posseability )(ere.
carnivalsOrphans this ain't about him. this is about you, and what you're willin to do to achieve your goals
crownCuller We aren't going to TORTUR--E )(IM W--E DON'T DO THAT H--ER--E.
carnivalsOrphans then what will you do?
crownCuller Talk!
carnivalsOrphans and if that don't work? if all he wants to do is be let go?
crownCuller T)(en )(e can go after.
carnivalsOrphans if he don't WANT TO HELP if he wants to be let go right then
crownCuller I cannaut t)(row away t)(e lives of TRILLIONS, foar one troll t)(at says no. I cannaut allow one s)(ellfis)( decision spell out t)(e end foar everyone else. If t)(ere was ANY ot)(er way foar me to take, I would. But t)(ere isn't, and )(e will know t)(at.
carnivalsOrphans so despite the fact you're sayin you ain't gonna force him ta do nothin, you are willing you gonna be willing after you win?
crownCuller W)(at?
carnivalsOrphans you gonna be willing ta do that sorta shit 'for the greater good'? forcin people to do what they don't want to do?
crownCuller If t)(at is w)(at it takes to stop trolls foam destroying worlds? Destroying our own? Yes. T)(at is w)(at leaders )(ave to carry.
carnivalsOrphans what about after that, what about after you gain peace?
crownCuller If Sollux isn't t)(ere, I will die, every troll under my protection will die, and t)(e slaug)(ter across t)(e galaxies will continue as Alternia falls apart.
carnivalsOrphans when do you stop bein willing?
crownCuller You don't G--ET to stop.
carnivalsOrphans > Gods, he is being reminded far too much of his pitchmate for comfort.
do your troops know you're willing ta do this?
crownCuller I'm naut the ideelist you keep accusing me of being. I've watc)(ed t)(e suffering drag out for longer than most land-dwelling trolls get to live. I know I don't get to put t)(is burden down once I've picked it up.
carnivalsOrphans i ain't ACCUSIN YOU of shit i'm askin you
crownCuller But Sollux? )(is part ends w)(en I step into t)(e audience )(all, and I will never ask )(im of anyt)(ing again. Even if I still fail wit)( )(is )(elp, I've made certain t)(at )(e will get out un)(armed. My troops know, yes. T)(ey've been tasked wit)( evacuating t)(e rest of my trolls in t)(e event t)(at I fail. And I can only )(ope t)(ey'll be able to run fast enough.
carnivalsOrphans no, i'm talkin willin to force someone to do shit for you
crownCuller As often as I am faced wit)( t)(at decision and as often as t)(ere is no way around it, I will take t)(at decision.
carnivalsOrphans ya know this is basically pale rape, right? what you're makin him do?
crownCuller Yes. And I will naut try to fool )(im into sinking ot)(erwise.
carnivalsOrphans you tried tellin your moirail that?
crownCuller S)(e's gotten... desperate. And I do naut condone what s)(e's done out of that desperation. W)(en a fig)(t )(as taken up your entire life, I can eelmagine it's )(ard to keep your pan sorted.
carnivalsOrphans > He thinks of his church. Of how much stronger they are together, how they keep each other strong with that support.
crownCuller Foar now though, Sollux is )(ere, and w)(ale )(urt from an explosion II cannaut let )(im go wandering off. Again, do you want me to tell )(im anyfin foar you? I am naut going to be seaing )(im foar a couple moar nig)(ts boat I w)(ale try to pass it on. And as my fis)(ter mig)(t say, tell Aradia to "c)(ill t)(e s)(ell out."
> Long silence. Feferi downs her iced tea.
38? S)(ello? Ringleader?
carnivalsOrphans yeah, i'm around the fact that she's so desperate is somethin you should be helpin with, as her rail. and as her leader.
crownCuller > Annnnnd there goes the glass. 
Buoy... getting finto someone s)(ellse's private life is a lot moar t)(an w)(at c)(ecking in on yoar friend requires. I've been open in ot)(er ways, please leave t)(e one private t)(ing I )(ave alone. (W)(ic)( does also mean to stop reading our logs. I'm assumfin t)(at's )(ow you got my finformation.)
carnivalsOrphans sis, that's advice, from someone about a thousand times older than you. if she's desperate, you're failing her, and you need ta help. that's about the only good thing you're gettin from me, so you better take it. or not, i don't really care, it ain't my fuckin life.
crownCuller Was t)(ere or was t)(ere naut anyfin you wanted me to tell Sollux?
carnivalsOrphans i'd rather be able ta actually talk to him ya know. myself.
crownCuller W)(at am I seapposed to say, "Yoar mentor Ringleader )(as been messaging us but doesn't want to tell you anyfin." Yikes, orcay. I need to SL--E--EP befoar I get crankier.
carnivalsOrphans that shouldn't be a hard request. just tell your rail ta give his palmhusk back, considerin she stole it and talked ta me on it which is a bit above and beyond kidnappin, if ya ask me
crownCuller T)(e palm)(usk isn't working, s)(e said. Largely broken, s)(e's trying to transfer it to a moar seacure device.
carnivalsOrphans uhuh. then ya know. she should get right on that. breakin other people's shit is rude.
crownCuller )(e's t)(e one w)(o decided to blow up t)(e cliff! All )(is fins would )(ave been brought )(ere fintact ot)(erwaves. Fin any case. I )(ave moar meetings to get to, and work on top of that. If you have moar questfins talk to Aradia. Good lig)(t.
carnivalsOrphans good light
-- crownCuller [CC] has ceased trolling carnivalsOrphans [CO] --
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