#who can't even afford books and games | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 6 months

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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

#spilled ink #warm up #“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol #btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can #run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her #but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!

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genderqueerdykes · 9 days

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being poor is so mind numbingly boring. you can't afford hobbies, leisure activities, games, books, music, transportation for going to places, some people can't afford internet or a phone. entertainment is seen as a complete and total luxury, but what people don't realize is that people need to be entertained.

there is nothing left to do for fun that's completely free. parks are tiny and meant for dogs, mostly, they're unsanitary as hell because there's mostly just dog waste everywhere. getting to the park costs money. kids and adults alike cannot just go "play outside". adults aren't even allowed to "play," we gawk at adults who stop to play with bugs or look at small animals. adults aren't allowed to play pretend it's seen as weird. kids don't have anywhere to go- they're considered "loitering" or an annoyance if they hang around anywhere for too long. not everyone can go to bars.

it is necessary for our mental health to have things to keep ourselves entertained with. people often get caught up on a poor person having one nice thing for themselves, but after a while, that 1 nice thing gets boring, too. people need variety. we need stimulation. we need input. we need to experience the world, too

i was told by my own therapist and case worker that people need entertainment and happiness to survive. humans are not wired to suffer 24/7, no one has to earn entertainment. if you think i'm pulling things out of my ass, i'm not. multiple mental health professionals in my own life have confirmed that people need to have fun or their health will suffer. mental health is connected to physical health. you know nothing if you think this is factually inaccurate.

poor people shouldn't be relegated to boredom and never experiencing life and what the world has to afford. the entirety of entertainment should not be paywalled. people should not have to pay entry for every single event in their area, or try to find free events and struggle to pay for the transportation. it's not good for your mental health.

#poverty #punk #punx #queer punks #queer punx #trans punks #trans punx #anticapitalism #anti capitalism #anti capitalist #our writing

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probablybadrpgideas · 11 months

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THINGS I AM UNREASONABLY ANNOYED ABOUT BY GAME SYSTEM

D&D: Please put a disclaimer that you are not a universal system. Every time I see someone try to do a political mystery game in D&D, I take 3d10 psychic damage and have to make a death saving throw.

Pathfinder: Look. If i wanted to play a game about fighting Cthulhu there is an extremely famous game specifically designed around doing that. Literally no-one is ever going to say "Wow, I want to play a Cthulhu themed game! Time to stat up a musical halfling from a magical fantasy land!".

Chronicles Of Darkness: Just admit no-one uses any of your rules. You have Social Door Rules and Integrity Conditions and Corruption Levels and I bet at most 50% of COD players could tell me which of those I made up. Just admit people aren't dressing up as Alucard The Bringer Of Shadows because they want to sit down and do calculus.

World Of Darkness: You know that old guy who's still doing his job even though he is way too old to do it any more, but he's now an institution so you can't get rid of him? Like that. The 90s called and they want literally everything about this back.

Call Of Cthulhu: I appreciate the commitment to authenticity, but maybe stop hiring actual disgraced mental asylum directors from the 1920s to design your sanity system?

GURPS: Look. Look. Listen. We both know that you just want to write history textbooks. These are history textbooks with a few stat blocks begrudgingly put in. If you just give me a book on early Chinese history I will read it and go "ah, very interesting!". You don't need to put in a list of character choices. We're all nerds. We'll read them. Live your best life.

Powered By The Apocalypse: I actually can't think of anything wrong with PBTA. That's not a bit, this is literally the perfect system. Take notes everyone else.

Mutants and Masterminds/Heroes System: Your systems have probably the most customizable character creation in the world and you both just make reskins of the Justice League over and over again. Maybe we only need one "thinly veiled copyrighted characters" setting? You can fight over it once you decipher your combat mechanics.

FATE: Ok I won't lie, I have no idea how the fuck FATE works. I have read the rules repeatedly and played three games and I still have no idea what invoking an aspect means. I don't know why. I grasped the rules of fucking Nobilis but this one just psychologically eludes me. This is more a problem with me I guess, but I'm still annoyed.

Warhammer 40k: Have you considered spending less on avocado toast? Then you might be able to afford to charge less for things?

Exalted: Apart from the lore, the setting, the mechanics, the metaplot, the character creation and the dodgy narrative implications, I can't think of anything to improve here.

#rpg #roleplaying games #can't wait to see which of these get me cancelled #ableism cw

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rudeflower · 8 months

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you need a library card

Almost everyone I know doesn't have a library card, and some of them read less than they want to because they can't afford to buy the books they want???? GUYS BIG SOLUTION TIME

BOOKS! Audiobooks! DVDS! Movie/series/documentary streaming services! Ebooks! Video games! Magazines!

Air conditioning! Wifi! Heat! Meeting rooms to reserve! Copy machines! Printers! Quiet safe place!

FOR FREE! FOR FREE! NO COST! FOR FREE!!!

Let's face is inflation is killing us, and you may have had to sacrifice buying books for fun, keeping the heat at a comfortable temp, cancel a few subscriptions. Enter your library card

"I don't have time to go a library" me neither I use the audiobook and ebook app daily and check out digital books and get them on my phone immediately

"I want to support the author" If you like it then you buy it! You don't have to pay up front for something you might not like ten pages in! Buy a book you know you love even if you don't plan to reread it to support the author!

"I don't want to wait for a book" Fair enough then don't, check out the books you can wait for

This world has home, where you pay to be, and very very few places outside of the home that you don't have to pay to be. If you're losing your head and need to get out for a few hours, you have to pay to exist almost anywhere you want to go. Not libraries.

I've gone to libraries weekly, almost daily at times, my whole life and they have never once asked anything of me. They give.

This world takes and takes and takes and libraries give and give and give and you deserve to be given lovely things.

It is not hard to get a library card, for most people. In most places I've lived you need some form of evidence you live in the area the library serves, and I've brought in a piece of mail, a student ID or an electric bill and been good to go. Many libraries also work with people who don't have documentation like this to get one anyway.

Get a library card even if you don't think you'll use it. Because one day there will be a book you really want that your local bookstore doesn't have, but who has it? THE LIBRARY! GO GET IT!

This is a USA centric post, and also goes out to my non-American cousins who taught me that libraries are a beautiful gift and not a given, and we should take advantage of it more often than we do

Get a library card, love yourself

#i know multiple people who love reading and limit how much they read because they can't afford books!#i don't know where you live but i live in a small city and they could totally! be! rolling! in! library! books!#there are very few things i think people are living wrong if they don't do #i don't care who you date i don't care what you eat i don't care how you dress #i do care that you don't have a library card #libraries #library card

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when-life-gives-you-lemons-if · 8 months

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Insert-Rich-Family-Name Book 2 👀🔪🔪

Unspeakable tragedy has unveiled your family's darkest secrets. Some rest in eternal silence, while others are trapped behind bars, accused of unimaginable crimes.

You've already played judge and jury for an unexpected murderer, but can you salvage your grandfather's fragile legacy? Will you ascend to lead the company and claim that vacant seat to safeguard your family's fortune, or is it time to cash in your shares and disappear?

As three potential investors come knocking for a merger, tread carefully; trust is a luxury you can't afford.

And in a world where danger lurks behind every corner, one question haunts your every step...

Who wants you dead?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know this game wasn't a reader's favorite, but I've been missing the MC from Insert-Rich-Family-Name, so I'll be back to writing it soon.

I enjoyed writing book 1, I love those characters and I know I will enjoy writing book 2 as well. This book was my first self-published game and I take pride in that even though it didn't do too well financially in comparison to the games I publish with Hosted Games. 😅

All that to say, I'll try to have at least the prologue of book 2 drafted in October, so join the Patreon for more family drama, more bodyguard romance, and all the other love interests. 😀

And yes, this will be the title, the cover, and the blurb for book 2.

For context about the cover: (Spoilers)

-The blond guy is Marcus Fargos. One of the people who sent MC a letter at the end of book 1. Marcus is the heir of the Tabloids who keep saying bad things about MC's family. So Marcus is Bob/Vera's boss.

-The blond lady is Marisca Blackstone. She may be a damsel in distress or not. She's the diamond princess because her family owns several diamond mines in South Africa.

-The guy with the drink is Kev's Brother. That character is gender customizable in the game, so for my MC, I went with the male version, Raine Montecristo.

Some questions and answers.

Book 2 will focus on whether MC wants to save the family business or sell it and walk away.

Saving it will mean choosing one of the 3 investors to merge with.

Selling it will also be one of those investors to sell it to, but MC will need the family's approval to sell because everyone has a share in the company.

Yes, the 3 investors will be romanceable even though you already have a love interest from book 1. They will mainly be hookups, but hookups that will stick around throughout the whole game.

Of course, more murders and mysteries.

More romance. I want to develop the romance with the love interests from book 1.

More steamy scenes.

More interaction with the remaining family members. So yes, Benny will come back with his new husband.

There will be a lot more, but that's all I can think of for now. 💕

#insert rich family name

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thebibliosphere · 9 months

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Joy! I've officially jumped on the Phangs bandwagon, so I can finally send coherent questions about it—how did you come up with the political landscape? I imagine it's at least partially inspired by true events, but how do you keep straight the political compasses of each character?

Eeey! Welcome aboard!

And yeah, a lot of it's based on history, but also a lot of current events if you squint. (Or maybe you don't need to squint.)

As for how I keep the characters straight (ha!) I had definite ideas about them while forming their personalities and history.

Nathan is the youngest and only starting to question the political landscape around him. He's not politically unaware but perhaps a little naive and unwilling to see how corrupt everything is.

He's been conditioned from a young age not to question authority. Military indoctrination will do that to you. Only when he finds himself on the frontline of an unjust and hopeless war does he realize things aren't what they seem. He still toes the line... until he gets injured, and the true depths of how little the military or government cares for people like him gives him a nasty jolt. Even in the first book, he's still somewhat in denial because part of him doesn't want to admit that he's been complacent. You can see what in the conversation with his brother Miles. His realization that he's spent his whole life following orders doesn't sit well with him, and that's a theme that will continue for his character in all future books.

It's only when he meets Vlad that he genuinely starts to question things, and that's because Vlad is the walking embodiment of a homemade Molotov cocktail wrapped up in a silk suit and a fierce, unshakeable sense of justice.

Vlad was created as a challenge to the bored, misanthropic vampire stereotype who doesn't give a shit about humanity because they've been around for hundreds of years and lost all faith in humanity. If anything, the longer Vlad is around humanity, the more fiercely he loves it and wants to do everything he can to help them. He grew up under the bloody iron fist of his grandfather's regime and saw firsthand what happens in a world devoid of democracy, and he's been running from it ever since.

He can only do a little under his father's thumb. But what he can do, Vlad does with all of his being. He's found ways to enable free schooling and medical care on the island, and if you give him a few more decades, he'll find a way to make housing accessible, too. (It's a numbers game, and he's very good with numbers. And honestly, his father doesn't pay too much attention to what he's doing. Not if he's careful about it...) He's also a staunch believer in the power of worker's unions, and despite technically being the person the unions would fight against, he is trying to help the workers of his island unionize because he believes it is the just and right thing to do.

Ultimately, Vlad is my firebrand catalyst for change, and I am really looking forward to exploring his arcs in future books.

Ursula is... tricky. She's in a precarious situation where she can't afford to draw attention to herself and, at times, has been forced to side with people she'd otherwise cheerfully drown because they could offer her the best protection. It's exhausting and soul-destroying, and it leaves her feeling powerless. Which is laughable when considering who she is. What she is.

She hates it. She wants it to be different. She doesn't like feeling so hopeless. Defeated. But she's tried to change things in the past, and it almost destroyed everything. So now she just keeps her head down and works from the shadows. It's safest that way. Not to mention quicker. After all, what's one more human war to an immortal [REDACTED]? If she ignores it, it'll go away. Eventually. Right? Right? (This may or may not be the denial talking.) (It is absolutely the denial talking.)

The fact that human politics are about to severely and unavoidably affect her will not go down well. Ursula is, in fact, going to be bloody livid about it. Not to mention guilt-riddled for burying her head in the sand and letting the humans go unchecked for so long.

Fortunately, she's got some new allies in her corner. A fiercely protective werewolf with a newfound sense of political rage and a vampire who's been spoiling for a fight of this magnitude for over four hundred years. Maybe, just maybe, this time, things will be different...

#hunger pangs: true love bites #hunger pangs series #world building #character building

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hikari-kaitou · 1 year

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Translation from Gyakuten Saiban Fan Book

What sort of person is Phoenix Wright?!

How does the producer of the trilogy, Mr. Inaba, view the main character, Phoenix Wright? And what about the character designer, Mr. Iwamoto, who voiced Wright's rival, Miles Edgeworth? What's his opinion on the matter?

Mr. Inaba's comments

Interviewer: I'd like to ask you about what type of guy you think Wright is. Let's start with his birthday.

Inaba: Wright always seems chipper, so perhaps he was born in the spring?

Iv: That might be why that pink sweater suited him so well (lol). What about his living situation?

Ia: I feel like Maya probably swipes the money he makes at his law firm, so Wright is poor. He probably lives in a really basic apartment.

Iv: So his cell phone is probably not the latest model, but rather…

Ia: It's probably a previous generation one that he's used for a long time. Like one of the ones with a green display (lol). He can't afford a new one.

Iv: He's very working class, then (lol).

Ia: I definitely think he is. There's no doubt in my mind. He's got no money. I don't even want to imagine a posh Wright (lol).

Iv: How mean (lol). If he's really that low on funds, then I imagine he doesn't have much money to spare on hobbies.

Ia: He doesn't seem like the type to be particularly interested in music, and since he's poor, he probably can't afford CDs. If he does listen to music, it's probably just whatever is playing on the radio as he hangs out at the fishing pond.

Iv: So you see him as the type of guy who goes to the fishing pond?

Ia: if he did fish as a hobby, I can see him doing it in a pond or something. He's definitely not the sport fishing type.

Iv: You make him sound like he has a typical working class, chill lifestyle.

Ia: I don't see him as the type to spend most of his time indoors though. He probably plays catch or walks his dog… I think that kind of thing suits him best.

Iv: His dog is a mutt, of course?

Ia: Probably a mix of Japanese breeds. He either found the dog abandoned somewhere, or it just happened to wander into his office, or Maya forced it on him so he ended up keeping it.

Iv: Last question: what do you think Wright's type is?

Ia: Probably the dominant type. After all, he dated Dahlia and worked for Mia (lol).

Mr. Iwamoto's comments

Iv: So about Wright's birthday, when do you think it is?

Iwamoto: Maybe in May? I think it'd be funny if it were the same as Takumi-san's. Maybe his blood type and birthplace are the same as Takumi-san's too?

Iv: Inaba-san had an image of Wright consistent with a working class guy, but what do you think?

Iw: No objections (lol). He doesn't seem like he'd spend much money on his clothes. At the very least, I think he has the type of personality where it wouldn't be unusual to see him outdoors.

Iv: It's hard to imagine him wearing expensive brand-name outfits, isn't it?

Iw: He probably wears jeans, but not like the vintage kind. He probably sleeps in a t-shirt and boxers. Come to think of it, Suekane-san doodled Wright in a sweatshirt once, so he might be the type to wear sweatshirts.

Iv: So what about sports?

Iw: Maybe field soccer? If you put the word "field" in front of a sport, it sounds more working class. Like "field baseball."

Iv: He sounds totally working class, just like Inaba-san's image. Do you think he gets together with a bunch of friends and plays a rowdy game of field soccer?

Iw: I wonder. Wright seems like the type of guy who doesn't have a lot of friends somehow. His only soccer buddy is Larry Butz, so he plays just with him. They'd be like "You play goalie next, ok?" They'd take turns doing penalty shootouts… jeez, that's depressing (lol). In contrast to Wright, Larry seems like he'd be more shy around other people. He probably doesn't remember any of those people's names (lol).

Iv: In terms of physical build, Wright has more of a swimmer's body than a soccer player body. His shoulders are broad.

Iw: Suekane-san drew him pretty burly in the first game, didn't she? I tried to keep that image when I drew him. But if you really want to know what Wright's body type is like, you can find out by having Takumi-san strip for you (lol). I think Wright is highly influenced by Takumi-san himself.

Edgeworth version

#ace attorney #phoenix wright #my translation #atsushi inaba #tatsurou iwamoto

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side-blog-writes-stuff · 6 months

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"I don't give a shit who you kill!"

Buckle up, I'm about to talk about how much I love Solomon Lauter.

(Yes, he is a shitty dad and a shitty person and now with that out of the way, here's why he fascinates me:)

So Solomon was clearly the main character of an entire Hatchetfield disaster that predates the current timeline's "end of the world". (Assuming that TGWDLM, Black Friday, and NPMD all happen at the 'same time', in different universes.) However, whatever happened with Solomon came before this. Something happened that made him this way.

Here's the thing: Solomon clearly doesn't value INDIVIDUAL human life. He laments how useless Ms. Tessberger was in life. He tells his daughter that he doesn't CARE that she killed someone, even if he was the football star who cost them the big game. He just blatantly doesn't care, and what kind of person admits that out loud and bluntly the way he did?

Ok, so he doesn't care about individual human life. But clearly, he cares about the bigger picture. The whole. Otherwise why would he face his (clearly) greatest fear and dig up the Black Book? He knows that Max would be the end of humanity. So, begrudgingly, he leads his daughter right to the Lords In Black. Not because he cares about her. Not because he cares about Richie, or Ruth, or Ms. Tessberger. But he does it for the planet as a whole. Something must have happened to him, to tear him down and eliminate any empathy or compassion, for 'the greater good'. He can't afford to care about anyone as an individual. Not after what he's seen. It's some Erwin Smith level shit.

This is all just theory, but Solomon must have had to deal with the Lords in Black to save humanity at SOME point. Some dark threat of his own he had to defeat. And now because of this, because of knowing the dark truth of Hatchetfield, Solomon has lost any of his own humanity. When protecting ALL of humanity, who has the time to care about one person?

((Also Corey is one of the best Starkid actors don't @ me his acting made the character 1000000% more interesting))

#I want a book on this man #what happened to you sir #what made you so shitty #villain arc I want to gobble it up #ballad of songbirds and snakes this bitch PLEASE #solomon lauter #nerdy prudes must die #starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse

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lylian333 · 2 months

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Kaiser x reader bully au

This is my first time writing and english is not my first language

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

word count :1036

warning:bullying ,harassing ,maybe suicidal (the reader is gender neutral but will be pregnant in the future of the story)((these were written before I knew his past)

You hated school...you didn't see any point in it, everyday you dread going to that miserable place with those shallow people.

From monday to friday you had to endure constant mockery from your classmates, you weren't the prettiest...smartest or athletic so you were an easy target for bullies.

Kaiser especially had a fun time picking on you...he knows you are a coward who doesn't fight back.

"Wow Y/N you came to school looking like that? Arent you embarrassed?"

You try to find another way out so that you could go to your class but kaiser grabs your backpack, making the other students laugh.

"Awww did I scare you so much you dropped your book bag on the ground?" He starts to laugh and makes the other students laugh with his ridicule towards you. "Did you know she cries at night...she can't even say one sentence without stuttering."

The students laugh and point at you. Kaiser gives the other kids a high five for making you seem so weak.

You try and reach your books but he holds your bag high above your head, he's tall so it's difficult for you to reach it.

"Let's play a game...you want your books back right?"

The classmates all start to laugh watching you struggle just to get your own stuff back.

Kaiser's facial expression is one of superiority, knowing he is much stronger than you....he could easily keep you here for hours if he so wished.

"Let's see here...why are you so weak?"

The other classmates laugh, he knows the answer...he just wants to hear you say it.

You try to speak up but you end up stuttering

"Oh? I think she's too scared to answer...let's all make her say it!"

The other classmates start to chant.

"Say it Y/N!~"

"Come on Y/N, speak up!~"

They're all waiting and anticipating your answer.

You end up giving him the answer

He finally releases your backpack and looks at you with a sadistic smirk.

"Hm...let's see here...you are weak because....your parents are poor...am I right?"

The classmates laugh, your parents being poor was something people always used to bully you...they knew it was true.

"Yeah, yeah that's it...you're family is poor and you can't afford nice things."

You grab your backpack trying to get away again

But since that he got an answer he doesn't care anymore, he lets go of your backpack but he has one last thing to do before he let's you leave.

"You do know I'm just gonna keep doing this right...you're always going to get bullied as long as you're weak."

He makes a motion of making muscles in his arm in an effort to show his strength.

"Remember what I said...you're weak and poor."

He laughs and turns his back on you leaving you crying, having gotten his kick from bullying you again.

When you finally got back to class, your eyes red from crying and your nose running. You look around the classroom and see the other students whispering amongst themselves laughing while pointing at you, some are shooting you death stares while others are smiling and chuckling mockingly.

The teacher notices you and gestures everyone to quiet down, she looks at you and asks the dreaded question.

Teacher: "Y/N...is everything alright dear? Were those nasty boys bullying you again?"

You hear the other students snickering, they already know the answer to that.

You reply to the teacher by whispering yes

The teacher feels sorry for you but it's obvious she's tired of you getting bullied all the time, she knows the other students get their kicks from it...you're the easy target. You can see the sympathy in her eyes though, she's really trying to help.

Teacher: "What were those boys saying to you this time? Can you tell me?"

"he said that i'm poor and weak..."

The teacher's expression changes to one of anger as she tries her best to stay professional but it's obvious she's upset.

Teacher: "Those horrible brats...they should know saying such things is wrong."

The other students roll their eyes at the teacher, this has happened many times before. The teacher turns to look at you, wanting to know if there was anything else.

The teacher's tone softens as she continues to speak to you.

Teacher: "Don't listen to them dear, don't let what they say get to you...just come to me whenever you need."

She has sympathy for you, she knows you're lonely...bullies target those who appear weak. She sees herself as your guardian. And she truly wants to help. The other students laugh and whisper to eachother making fun of the teacher and her words.

You went back to your seat

The teacher gives you a small smile as she sits back down and the class starts.

When you sit down at your seat, the other students whispering and laughing mockingly at you behind your back. You're sitting silently and waiting for the class to begin. You're trying your best to keep a low profile and get your mind off all the humiliation and bullying.

Your trying to think of something else but it keeps going back to Kaiser's words...you're poor and weak. You try not to let it get to you and keep your mind on the class, hoping it'll distract you from thinking about what happened in the hallway.

*timeskip till the end of the class*

As soon as the bell rings the class ends and everyone rushes to the doors trying to get out fast.

The hallway is filled with the sound of students laughing and talking loudly, their voices echoing off the walls of the school. The students are mostly talking loudly about the newest gossip going around, making fun of random people as usual.

You make your way out of the classroom and to the hallway but you see Kaiser waiting for you...he smiles as he sees you walking through the crowd of students.

He quickly approaches you and pulls you aside into an empty part of the hallway, the other students don't notice as they're too busy making fun of anyone they can think of. The hallway is still full of whispers and laughter even though the bell had already rung.

(also this is like a enemies to lovers but with bully and this story may contain....things)that all from me hope you guys love it

I apologize if you don't like pink but it is my favorite so deal with it >:)

#kaiser x reader #michael kaiser smut #yandere kaiser #bllk x reader #bllk x you #yandere kaiser x reader #blue lock angst #bllk x y/n

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howlingday · 5 months

Text

The One Where Emerald Finds Out

Oscar: (Knocks on door, Opens) Hi.

Sun/Neptune: Hey~!

Oscar: I have to go to Atlas.

Jaune: What?!

Sun: The kingdom?!

Oscar: No, there's this book with the map of the world in it. Yes, the kingdom! (Sighs) Is Mercury here?

Sun: Sun... Neptune... Nope, just us and Jaune.

Oscar: So he's out with Emerald, huh?

Neptune: Oh no! How could she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?!

Oscar: ...

Sun: FOR! GET! A! BOUT! HER!

Jaune: I hate to say it, but they're right, man. Eventually you gotta learn to let go and move on with your life. Go to Atlas, do your thing, and if you get the chance, punch Ozpin for me.

Neptune: I mean, don't punch yourself, obviously.

Sun: Unless he can feel it, too.

Oscar: Right, I... I don't know... Can you just give this to her? It's for her birthday.

Jaune: Sure thing, man.

Sun: And hey, we're just looking out for you. I might have a couple of beers in me, but... I love you, man. (Hugs)

Neptune: I'm still on my first, so I just think you're nice.

Jaune: (Chuckles)

---------------------------------------------

Yang: Who wants burgers? And who wants Ren's veggie burger?

Ren: (Smiles) I want my veggie burger, honey.

Ruby: Can we do presents first? I wanna give Emerald my present to her!

Weiss: It's her birthday, Ruby. She doesn't have to do them now if-

Emerald: Eh, sure. I wouldn't mind getting my presents before food.

Weiss: In that case, open mine first!

Ruby: No, mine!

Emerald: If it gets you two to stop, then I'll take them at the same time.

Ruby/Weiss: (Hand over lien)

Emerald: ...Oh, wow. I don't know who's present I like more. If only there was a way to tell how much their both worth in lien. (Group laughs)

Jaune: Alright, my turn! (Hands over gift)

Emerald: It's... (Opens gift) ...a green pen. Uh, thanks. (Hands back)

Jaune: (Slumps)

Nora: (Pats his back) Well, if she doesn't want it, can I have it? Anyway, my turn! (Hands gift)

Emerald: (Opens gift) "Pumpkin Pete Goes Home".

Nora: That book got me through some rough times.

Ren: It's true. It did.

Mercury: What kinda little kid are you?

Jaune: The kind who can break your legs. And yeah, even yours.

Emerald: Speaking of, where's your present?

Mercury: I'm right here, obviously!

Emerald: ...Can I get a receipt? (Group laughs) Wait, who's gift is that?

Neptune: Oh, that's from Oscar!

Emerald: Really? Didn't think he could afford a gift, since he just left on a last-minute trip. (Opens gift, Gasps) Oh... Oh my god...

Ruby: What is it?

Emerald: It's... It's a brooch. It's just like the one my mother had. I... I didn't think he would remember.

Mercury: Remember what?

Emerald: Couple months ago we were walking around Shade and we passed this jewelry shop and there was a brooch in there just like my mom had when I was a kid. I... I can't believe he remembered!

Jaune: Well, he does have a mental notebook to help him remember.

Nora: It looks so pretty~!

Weiss: And expensive. How did he afford this?

Jaune: Oh, you know how Oscar is. I mean, remember that time he and Ruby were dating, and when he fell in love with her, he bought her that scythe keychain?

Emerald: ...When he what?

Jaune: (All eyes on him, Gulps) Uh... S... Scythe keychain?

Emerald: No, no, no. What did you say about him loving me?

Jaune: Ah... Ammah guh...

Emerald: Oh... Oh my god...

Jaune: (Turns away) No, no, no, no, no, no...

Sun: Hey, uh, I don't know if you know this, but turning around doesn't undo screw-ups. Believe me, I tried.

Emerald: I... I can't believe Oscar loves me.

Nora: This is huge!

Jaune: No, no, it's not! It's small! It's tiny! It's wee!

Nora: No way, this is such a game-changer! I don't think anyone here is going to be the same after hearing that!

Jaune: Nora, I love you, but do you have a mute button?

Ren: She doesn't.

Ruby: This is so great! I mean, I dated him a while ago, so I can tell you he's a great guy!

Weiss: Did you have any idea?

Emerald: No! None! I mean, after you and your boyfriend started going out, he mentioned something about going out, but he didn't try anything after that. (Grabs Neptune) Hey! Tell me! Does he still want to go out with me?!

Neptune: Uh, well, considering how he's desperately in love with you, I don't think he'd say no to a cup of coffee sometime.

Emerald: I... I need to talk to him!

Jaune: You can't!

Neptune: He's in Atlas!

Sun: The kingdom!

Weiss: He's meeting with Whitley about some new Dust policies, and he needs Ozpin for council. I can call him right now.

Neptune: W-What about the towers? Aren't they down?

Ruby: Whitley's bullhead hasn't left yet. We can still call him right now!

Jaune: No, you can't!

Emerald: Why not?!

Mercury: Because he's probably not in love with you anymore.

Emerald: What do you mean?

Mercury: Because these idiots told him to get over you.

Emerald: ...

Jaune: Oh no...

Sun: Door?

Neptune: DOOR!

Sun: (Opens door, Runs into Blake clone)

Blake: Where do you think you're going?

Jaune: Oh no- Ack!

Nora: (Holding him up) WHERE ARE YOU GOING, MY LOVE~?!

Neptune: Help me, Mercury!

Mercury: I just sold you guys out. What makes you think I'll get between you and all of them? (Points to bloodthirsty RWBY)

Neptune: ...Yeah, that's fair.

Emerald: Hey, Princess. Can you take me to them? I... I need to talk to Oscar. Face-to-face.

Weiss: For the sake of love, I'll ignore the princess remark and help you. (Leaves with Emerald)

Neptune: EMERALD, WAIT! I LOVE YOU! DEAL WITH ME FIRST!

Ruby: You just keep digging yourself deeper, don't you?

#rwby #emerald city #emerald sustrai #oscar pine #sun wukong #neptune vasilias #mercury black #black sun #jaune arc #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #nora valkyrie #lie ren #sunflowyr #nora's arc #whitley's rose #friends

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drkmgs · 1 year

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Shapeshifters

Wednesday Addams x Reader

Warning: not much...

Story type: multiple chapters

[A/n]: As you can see, I got over with my writer's block for Wednesday, and I am glad because some of these stories have been warming my drafts for months now. Anyway enjoy this continuation of Shapeshifters!

tag list: @simp4nat

previous chapter

Shapeshifters — were hunted down by people who were envious of their power. They made up stories and marked shapeshifters as criminals. Thousands of shapeshifters are getting killed day by day. Until it's only Hundreds of them left in hiding.

As you two escaped from Enid and Ajax, Wednesday asked you about Jericho's. You told her little stuff about Jericho's, how there are no taxis around, and that the next station would be 30 mins away. Then there was complete silence between the two of you, but there's been a question lingering in her mind.

"How did you end up on that balcony?"

That made you stop walking. This made you realize she hasn't read your books or even knows anything about you. Honestly speaking, ever since you published your books, only countable numbers of Shapeshifters came out of their hiding, but their identity is still unknown to the world. Your books? They only have your initials. How did Enid know that they are your books? Probably from your mother—Principal Weems. She tends to brag about your books to students at Nevermore.

"How do you think I got up there?" You tilt your head to the side.

"I have a lot of theories, but the fact that you called Principal Weems your 'Mother', there is a chance you got her genes." Her face unfazed.

"Principal Weems isn't my biological parent. My parents died when I turned 14, but I have been with her since I was five."

Wednesday turned to you, staring at you, to elaborate on the topic.

"My parents left me at Nevermore Academy when I was five. They were friends with Principal Weems. In those times, it was hard to travel with a child who had just mastered their powers. There are always slip-ups, and they can't afford that. It will only bring harm to them and mostly to me." You turned your face away from her.

"An endangered species." She stated.

You snorted. "You could say that. I don't think there is more left of us. A lot of them are dead, and some of them are hiding pretty well."

You looked at your clock. You still need to go to the library for some research. You finally faced Wednesday.

"How about a little game? Try to find out what I am, and I'll help you escape from this educational penitentiary. What'd you say?" You try sound convincing.

Wednesday gave it a second thought, but she have you a single nod as a signal, she's in.

"Oh. By the way, you aren't allowed to ask anyone. It's not like they would know. Good day, Addams." You called after her when you hurried away in the direction of the library.

—

When you arrived at the library, you went through all the shelves filled with books, but none of them looked like the book that you were looking for. Then you suddenly remembered about the section that you weren't allowed to go in as a child. Only teachers were allowed to enter. Sure, the section was difficult to find for someone who hasn't been to Nevermore, but you grew up here, so you knew all the secret doors and passages. It didn't take long for you to find the hidden section. You shifted as a teacher and entered it.

You were welcomed by massive shelves filled with books to the brim. There were even books stacked up on a big oval table with chairs. You were in awe. The library shimmered in the golden hour. One book particularly got your attention. It sparkled against the sunlight, and it's inviting you to take them out of the shelf and read. When you got closer to the book, it was the one you were looking for. You took it out off the shelf with a huff because it is kinda heavy. With a thud, you laid the book on the table open. You turned page after page until you found it:

"The only known treatment against Nightshade poisoning is mainly symptomatic including gastrointestinal decontamination with activated charcoal. In severe cases, physostigmine can be used as an antidote, but it hasn't been proven to be working yet."

"Physostigmine — a compound which is the active ingredient of the Calabar bean and is used medicinally in eye drops on account of its anticholinesterase activity."

"Physostigma venenosum— the Calabar bean or ordeal bean, is a leguminous plant, Endemic to tropical Africa, with a seed poisonous to humans"

Chatting near the section got you to snap out of the reading trance and quickly closed the book, putting it back swiftly, changing into your form, and making it out again into the student's library. You didn't pay attention to anyone as you walked to your dorm, your mind occupied with the pieces of information you gathered. You're trying to connect the dots in your mind when someone bumped into you.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see you there." A redhaired woman shorter than you are, she fixed her glasses. You have never seen this woman before. Is she a new teacher? If yes, there's something off with her, and that is what your gut feeling is telling you.

"You must be, Y/N. Hi, I'm Mariyln Thornhill, the new botany teacher." She introduced herself and stretched out a hand for you to shake. "Hello, nice to mee you." You shook her hand with caution. "I should get going. I still have a lot to unpack." You quickly retrieve your hand to your side and slide your way away from her. "Y/N. Be careful. You wouldn't want to bump into the wrong person." She had this cold expression that turned into a smile. When you gave her a nod, that is when she turned around and proceeded to go on her way.

A shiver went down your spine when she disappeared around the corner. You exhaled as if you had been holding your breath for a long time. That woman is something else. Where did your mother find that woman? You thought. "There you are! I have been looking for you!" You jumped a little at the voice but exhaled as you realized who it was. "Mother. I was about to go back to my room. Unpack some of my stuff." You turn to her and was greeted with her pearly smile.

"Unpacking can wait! Why don't you come with me to Jericho's? Perhaps we could get your favorite hot chocolate at Weathervane?" She raised her eyebrows trying to persuade you. You gave it a second thought but eventually you nod and went with her.

—

"Addams. You're coming with me and Principal Weems for hot chocolate?" You say as you see her waiting by the service van of Nevermore. Your mother is just a step behind you. She put a hand on your shoulder. "Miss Addams has a Therapy session with Dr. Kinbott, but perhaps she would like a hot chocolate after?" She smiles at Wednesday.

"Principal Weems, this feeble attempt at bonding is beneath you and chauffeuring your students around is below your pay grade." Wednesday looked straight into her eyes. You snickered at her comment, but were silenced when your mother squeezed your shoulder. You winched a little, that made the corner of Wednesday's lips twitch a little.

"Given your history, I’m sure you’re intent on running away. I’m here to prevent that from happening." She made her way to the driver's side. "I wish you luck." Wednesday entered the passenger's seat and slammed the door shut. You took the backseat and just observe the scene in front of you.

Principal Weems took a deep breath and entered the car. The whole drive was in complete silence. You were too busy scribbling down all the information you got earlier on your little notebook. Once the car stopped, you and Wednesday exited the car. "Addams. Any progress on what kind of an outcast, I am?" You asked her before she entered the building.

"No, and I actually don't need your help anymore." She didn't wait for you to reply and just entered the building. "What was that?" You shook your head at your mother and smiled at her. "Let's go and get some hot chocolate?" You offered her your arm to take, and she took it gladly.

Not even 30 mins into the session Wednesday was already escaping. You comfortably sat in one of the booths and watch how she slid down the pipe, creeped passed your mother who was talking on the phone and swiftly entered the Weathervane. She successfully repair the coffee machine and talked to the barista named Tyler, who you met earlier, he is the sheriff's son.

How did Wednesday not notice you? You shifted. You wanted to see if she really didn't need your help to escape. You were impressed with her fighting skills. You changed back when your mother came back to get Wednesday. You saw the shock and confusion on Wednesday's face when she saw you emerge from the booth. She followed your movements with furrowed eyebrows. How could she miss you sitting there? She definitely looked around to make sure none of you had followed her there.

The whole ride back to school was your mother scolding Wednesday, and the girl was just half listening when you drove past an accident. Wednesday pointed out that the driver was dead and had a broken neck. Of course, you tried to look to see if she was right, but it was hard to see with the truck's position.

So you quickly shift your eyes to see the notes of the officers writing down. It confirms that he died because of a broken neck. You immediately shift back and furrow your eyebrows. Thinking deeply as to what powers Wednesday could have and how dark her powers can be. or is it even dark? You definitely want to find out.

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams #wednesday addams x you #wednesday x reader #wednesday x you #wednesday #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #wednesday series #wednesday netflix #wednesday addams x gn reader #wednesday nevermore #larissa weems #principal weems

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yua-nism · 7 months

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I saw your tags and I’m now very intrigued like what do you mean yuhan has the SHORTEST TRAGIC BACKSTORY?!?! JUST WHAT IS GOING ON?? like granted I should have known a game about devil cat butlers would have some angst and tragic backstories but god damn 😭😭

there was a miscalculation on my part and yuuhan's is in fact, not the one with the shortest backstory! however that's only because the others have yet to have their backstories be revealed. sorry for the late answer btw, exams have made me pretty tired.

ok so ill briefly explain a bit. this ties in to the requirement to become a devil butler that is, having felt so much despair that one feels like dying. normal people will be swallowed up by the devils they contract with. the despair essentially acts like chains for the devil. so to talk about their pasts in the Briefest Way Possible (lie):

miyaji has beef with lucas on the surface but really it's because he still can't get over the fact that lucas decided to save him from the verge of death instead of someone else he thought was more capable than him while lucas simply chose to save miyaji because he had higher chances of living.

lucas was basically a child prodigy/genius. since young, he's always loved reading books, and even read thick books that even adults struggled to understand. even though he was lonely and had no one to talk to, he still endured it, skipped grades, and became a doctor at the age of 10+. at first he was looked down on for being young, but an older doctor stood up for him. eventually he became the leader of the doctors, but due to his lack of social skills, he struggled to communicate well, which resulted in the doctors hating him. in the end, all the doctors except lucas quit their job. and the group collapsed. (tbf id quit too... imagine being said you didn't work as hard as him and don't have as much brainpower compared to him as well)

ammon has only had his mom since birth and lived with her, selling flowers for a living. ammon would always make sure the flowers would be sold out at the end of the day for his sickly mother, but if he doesn't manage to sell all of them it's heavily implied his mom whips him like he does to himself even now. they were like super poor but ammon still loved his mom because he only had her

berrien has like this super mysterious past but rn it's starting to unravel in chapter 4. he's an orphan and got adopted into a church backed by the grovanas or whatever nobel family to nurture warriors who could fight angels, but surprisingly the church is actually full of love and was ran by someone who fighted angels named Goetia. berrien also met his soon-to-be older brother figure named Beren/Belen. btw all of the kids go by the last name Cliane because goetia wants everyone to become true family.

when berrien was 26 (Beren 29), goetia died from a chronic disease and Beren had to take on goetia's responsibilities. berrien became the one running the church, however shit happened, Beren got demonized, and berrien used his powers to keep Beren alive after forming a contract with his current devil. he's still residing in berrien's basement as of current, but in a coma. berrien still thinks he himself has no rights to be a butler and really does not believe that he's the one keeping the damn thing running

also the church got destroyed like 2400 years ago and yes berrien is 2000+ years old

haures was born into some wack ass family, his dad ran away with some other woman and his mom projected her rage and stuff like that onto haures, and his newborn younger sister Tricia. haures is 10 years older than Tricia. when he was that age, he ran away from home with Tricia (literal baby) because he no longer trusted his mom to take good care of them. after that, when haures was 18, he trained hard to become a soldier under the grovanas nobles so he could afford to let Tricia get treatment for her worsening vision. one heartbreaking scene was when haures showed off his red uniform to Tricia and she said the blue uniform looked good on him... but 5 years later, haures managed to get Tricia's eyes healed!!! surely nothing bad could happen!!!!

sike. haures caught one of the grovanas nobles illegally trafficking humans with some dealer, and arrested him. however that led to the seller getting revenge, and he decided to capture tricia. he stabbed her and threw her into the woods. when haures found her, she only managed to call out to haures before she died after a few breaths. haures was really really really devastated. he sought revenge on the noble, and while the noble didn't die, he was jailed 5 years for harming the noble (not death sentence because he was determined mentally unstable after losing Tricia.). after he got out of jail, he found the noble again and wanted to kill him, but he was reminded of how Tricia admired him for protecting the people and helping those in need, which stopped him. after that, he became a devil butler because of his proficient fighting skills.

lamli was forced to work at a circus by his mom at the age of 10, while starting up with simple duties, he decided to train to become a circus troupe performer so he'd earn more money for his complaining mother. its heavily implied he's abandoned by her and becomes a devil butler because of his nimble body. btw his mom said she never wanted to have lamli right in front of him. jesus.

fennesz was born into a wealthy happy family, and had an older sister. however his war general father lost a war against nobles, and the economy went into shambles. his mom remarried but even though their stepdad was nice, fennesz and his sister ended up strays on the street due to some reasons i forgot of. fennesz would get bullied by kids on the street because of his father's loss in the war, but his sister would always protect him, and they relied on each other for survival. she's very smart, as shown in the story. she also loves history, as she said, it can help people learn from the past. its heavily implied she is dead.

ok flure! flure grew up with his older sister and mother who both did ballet (can one of you have an actual dad for once?), and he also followed in their footsteps. however when he was a child he was bullied for liking stereotypical girly things, like playing with his sister's dolls, doing ballet and having long hair. even though he was laughed at for doing it, he still underwent strict training guided bg his sister and mother. he never found the courage to tell his sister or mom even though his sister could tell something was wrong (heard him crying at night). he still thinks he should be more courageous to this day and thinks he's pathetic. we don't know what happened to his family but they probably died.

i wanted to talk about boschi but i realized idk much about him apart from the fact that he only had his grandmother (who's actually a great caretaker for once!) and he was bullied for being a bookworm/nerd at school and had no friends. though he did actually beat those bullies up later for mocking his grandma when she wanted to take him back home. she didn't want boschi to fight but she said herself she was actually rooting for him when he was fighting LMAOOO love her for that

lono. ok so lono was really poor and had no parents, and he acted as the older brother for the younger kids living on the streets with him. he'd work as someone who'd clean up rubble from battling angels, which was a job that had unstable income since no one knows when angels are gonna appear. they were family basically. lono would rather starve than let his siblings eat less, and his love of cooking originated here because he loved seeing them happy from his cooking. we don't know what happened to them, but they're probably dead

nac was born into a rich family, and has a father, not sure if he has a mother, never mentioned at least. apparently the stein family was great at sales or trading or smth??? they're just some very rich and well-known name. however on his 12th birthday, his butler led him to the forest near the stein mansion, and revealed himself to be someone the stein family harmed. just as he was about to kill lil nac in shock, nac retaliated in defense. and when he realized, he already stabbed the man at his vital point. his dad appears out of nowhere and reveals that he knew this all along, and that the stein family is actually a long line of assassins with sales as their front personas. nac was trained to kill since then, and thought he'd never feel positive emotions again before he became a devil butler. he also has scars all around his body, probably from the assassin work he did.

lato and his non-blood related brother, Aleks I think? were kidnapped by people who wanted to train people to become angel fighters. however unlike berrien, this time it's just pure cruelness and literal torture. they were 8 when this experiment started. not only that, all the children were sold by their caretakers to this place, including lato and aleks' "mother", the head of their orphanage, who they deeply loved and believed in. when lato finally found a way to escape, almost half the children were dead.

and when he told the others, they told lato that they already gave up on escaping, including aleks. from, i suppose, all the suppressed anger and trauma, he burned the experiment facility down, leaving the other kids to die because he hallucinated that they wanted them to be burned so they could be free. after that, lato returned to the orphanage even though he knew the "mother" sold him in the first place. guess what the mother did! that's right she ran back into the orphanage when she saw him, locked the fucking door and told him to get the fuck away from her. and lato burned the orphanage down.

now onto the new butler trio!

teddy is the one with the most details in his backstory so far. when he was young, he Had a twin brother, and teddy was a far cry from who he is now. he was negative and gloomy compared to his brother, who was positive and talented, and people always favored teddy's brother more. but one day, his brother died protecting him from an angel, but since they were so alike people didn't know whether the one that died was teddy or his brother. and after grieving his brother, teddy decided to become him, and used his brother's name to live on as him so people wouldn't be sad, because "teddy" was the one that died. and that led to teddy forming his personality today. teddy is his actual name though, he started using it after he became a knight. he became a knight because he wanted to protect people from angels.

but during an attack by an intelligent angel, namely seraphim, one of the angels that appeared at the end of chapter 1 and also the major antagonist of the story, teddy's entire unit got killed. at the start of chapter 2.5, he recuperated in a hospital, however he kept terrible nightmares (reliving the massacre, and hearing the voices of his comrades asking him why he abandoned them and why he got to survive) and so didn't sleep at all. he eventually snuck out of the hospital to visit their graves, and then started wondering what the point of him still being alive is. he almost threw himself off a cliff before haures and aruji reached him.

hanamaru. ten years before the story, hanamaru was fleeing from something- he walked all the way from the east to the central, and collapsed in a forest. a nun found him and took him back to a church that doubled as an orphanage. however the nun soon fell ill and died, so hanamaru began taking care of the kids in the church after he was saved by her.

but 5 years later, the church was attacked by angels. he was away from the church when the attack happened, and when he came back, all he saw were angels flying away from the ruined church. only 4 kids survived. hanamaru had a breakdown, and kept kneeling and pressing his head against the ground, saying things like "i couldn't protect them", "i swear ill keep them safe next time", implying this is not the first time something like this has happened. he swore vengeance against the angels that day, that he would never forgive them, and himself. so berrien suspects that the 4 kids that survived were the people that kept hanamaru around. who knows what could've happened if they passed as well...

lastly (finally), yuuhan. at the age of 9, he trained to become a soldier of the sardeis family so he could protect his hometown, and made it after 3 years. he quickly rose up in the ranks, being a prodigy. in the main story, he started doubting his loyalty to the family after they attempted an assassination on the devil butlers. and he betrayed the sardeis family and fell into their trap when investigating forbidden records. he got thrown into jail by the head, and the head decided for his punishment, yuuhan's whole village and everyone he knew there will be burned and killed. he could only despair in jail. in the story, after his prison guard left after serving him food, yuuhan started crying. he called out to his father, his mother, everyone from his hometown, apologizing again and again, believing that it's his fault that they died.

after that, the head, fubuki, paid him a visit. fubuki beat yuuhan up, pushed him to the verge of death, but not grave enough injuries to die. yuuhan asked fubuki to kill him, but fubuki refused. he even says he'll force feed yuuhan till the day of his death execution if necessary. however, yuuhan was rescued by the butlers during his execution. (it took place in a forest with tigers. basically the death penalty is getting eaten by tigers) he became a devil butler after that.

holy shit. also im not typing Bastien's since you can read his backstory from the tls available here.

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spectrum-core · 3 months

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STEPHCLAIR IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD

Alternative title: a very angry (and tired) Full Stop fan's thesis.

ok, so me being the stephan/sinclair comparison's strongest hater is a bit i really like to lean into, but for the sake of keeping things semi-serious i will try to keep the actual essay content as free of me ranting my frustrations as humanly possible (which i mean commitement to the bit aside this will be hard bc it is frustrating to see people calling them both the same character, at best it shows a very surface level understanding of either character and at worst it shows just reducing them to cookie cutter meme fandom archetypes neither character actually fits into, so bear with me if i slip up and make unserious comments from time to time)

so before i start the actual essay let me say this: this essay doesnt even scratch the surface of how much i hate this comparison you guys cant even possibly fucking imagine ive been obssessed and i mean OBSSESSED with the full stop office since 2021 and im glad i wasnt in the limbus prerelease fanbase because if i had to see people comparing my beautiful boy and beloved best friend to a guy we had no info about other than "hes based of the guy from demian" i would have turned into the joker this is not even about saving my own mental health this is about sparing the entire pjm fandom of the monster i would have turned into

spoilers for ruina and limbus, universe terminology heavy and surface level references and interpretations of demian by herman hesse because imma keep it real with you guys the first and only time i read that book i was still in high school and i barely remember shit.

Table of contents:

Stephan - a summary

Sinclair - a summary 2.1. Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919) 2.2. Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)

Addressing common arguments

1.- Stephan - a summary

And of course I will start with Stephan, because I love him very much, just like Liwei he's one of my favorite pjm characters (yeah i like him more than your favorite popular character don't ask) so it's not surprising that i have A Lot to say about him, right?

And of course, I do.

As I said in the serrated duo post, a core part of my perception of the Full Stop office depends on the fact that they are poor. Mentions of money are common all across many factions in the game, yes, but the Full Stops are extremely constant about money, how taking a wrong turn means losing more than they can afford, how they can't afford to drop their weapons because they were too expensive, how even getting the permissions to be able to buy and wield these weapons was ridiculously expensive and so on. Of course, Stephan is the one talking about this the most (something I will elaborate on later), but Liwei and Tamaki also make a few ocassional mentions to it in their dialogue and keypages and considering this is a shared business it just makes sense that this is something that affects all of them.

These are just some few of the callbacks to money that Stephan alone does in his dialogue, without focusing in keypage text or what Liwei and Tamaki have to say about it.

And idk man, at least to me the difference between social classes is an important aspect for their characterization, specially because of how constant the concern with money is for Stephan. From this point alone comparing them feels like erasing a core aspect of Stephan's characterization, a lot about Stephan (and the Full Stop office as a whole, let's be real here) starts making more sense once you read the office as lower-middle class (and I'm saying lower middle class because they can afford some place to live and their weapons, but to me these guys are the types who precisely because of their need to keep bullets at all times can't pay for water or electricity all the time and sometimes they simply can't afford food or if they do they can spend a week straight eating nothing but unsalted pasta).

Now, going back to Stephan being the most outward about his complaints with money, he is in general the most outward about all problems the office is facing, to the point in which he doesn't mind inconveniencing everyone else with his rants, being one of the few guests who interrupt Angela's introductory speech and getting into Tamaki's nerves (something he's well aware he's doing, as these two know each other) at least two times through the course of their pre-battle cutscene, even Roland comments after the reception on how he wishes he would always have been as open about his problems as Stephan was.

However, it's worth nothing that he doesn't spend the entire cutscene crying about his miseries, and he only starts losing hope at three key moments: when they can't kill Eileen inmediately (making them waste more bullets than needed), when Argalia shows up (forcing them to retreat and making them fail their mission, meaning they won't get paid for this after they already lost a ton of money, as well as turning the situation into something much more dangerous than what they had signed up for) and once they enter the Library (an Urban Plague grade threat they have little to no information about, when him and Tamaki are almost out of bullets so Liwei is essentially the only fixer with some chance of putting up a fight and, you know, making it out alive).

Now, while it's true that Stephan is someone who dislikes danger, he isn't someone who isn't used to seeing gruesome events, his instinctive reaction to seeing a guy getting his head put into a meat grinder was cracking jokes and calling the concept of thought gears "a load of horseshit", which is something that falls in line with him being a somewhat experienced Fixer (sure, grade 5 isn't amazing but we can assume it's still either in the higher side of average or barely above average, and for someone specialized in firearms, which are far from the best weapon in the city, getting that high means he must have some experience and skill, right? more so considering he's been at this for 5 years at most) who has seen a fair share of horrid shit and can be unfazed by (most of) it as long as his own safety isn't on the line.

Another point is... he dislikes danger and is always wary about money and expenses, to the point in which he enjoys checking his bank account (or at least he believes so, if we go for the theory of the artbook profiles being more a mix of what the characters perceive themseves as/would describe themselves as to others, which is a theory i go by, I see him as someone who's convinced he does that for fun instead as out of desperation), but this seems to be more a generalized feeling of impending doom at everything rather than something that can be traced back to a particular traumatic event (anything can be dangerous, anything can cost him money), dude's from the backstreets after all, he's seen shit and he's used to assuming the worst. How I see Stephan, he's a guy who already expects bad things to happen but once things go wrong he starts freaking out about how this time They're Screwed For Real, but he never really tricks himself into believing "maybe things will turn out just fine this time?" or who thinks "well, we've done this before, surely we can handle it again."

This is not very related to Stephan as a character in terms of personality but I think it's still an important point to make as it is particularly related to body mods, his physical condition and his body shape.

So we can easily say that Stephan is a strong dude, at least if compared to real world standards without the fancy and insane body mods we see people in the city have access to. He carries that huge rifle around with his bare hands, something that Tamaki doesn't do and that not even Stephan himself in earlier iterations of his dessign did, and his main talent (which based of my theories is something that can be assumed as "something he's proud enough of to consider it the thing he does best") is physical labor.

Pictured, Tamaki's talksprite, carrying a rifle almost as long as she is tall with a strap supporting the weight on her shoulders, like a normal person.

Also pictured, an earlier iteration of Stephan's dessign, carrying the same rifle his current version does, but also holding it with the help of a similar strap supporting the weight on his shoulders.

And finally, Stephan's current dessign, holding that shit with his bare fucking hands in an exhibition of his brute animal strength, what the fuck is wrong with this man (affectionate)

And Stephan's artbook profile, the important part here is his speciality being physical labor, not only he's strong but he aknowledges this.

However, I made a point about the Full Stop office being poor, right? Even Roland says that "giving a whole office augmentation procedures is cheaper than keeping a decent supply of bullets in stock" (not the exact phrasing).

At least personally, I see this as Roland essentially saying "it would be cheaper (and more efficient) to get body mods for everyone in the office and buy another (cheaper) type of weaponry instead", but as things stand, the Full Stops can afford to either buy more ammunition and maintain their weapons, OR to get body mods, and since their whole deal is firearms... well, they can't really Stop investing in them, meaning they have no body mods At All and they got their grades purely out of their own physical strength.

Similarly, Stephan makes a similar point about how body augmentations are required for people to be able to run while carrying their weapons around (specifically talking about the rifles he and Tamaki use).

And... you know, the whole point is that they couldn't run carrying their weapons because they were too heavy, Argalia mocked them for that, Liwei urged them to drop their weapons, something they refused to do because of the prices.

Lastly on this point, while it's true that Ruina talksprites have a very bad case of Long Anime Legs (to the point in which how Roland's legs take about 2/3 of his height is a common joke), if we focus only on his head and torso, Stephan looks pretty Wide, and not only because he's wearing thick, fluffy and multilayered clothing, as other characters wearing similar clothing styles still look thinner than him.

This is all to say: I don't think this guy is a twink, or thin at all. He's a prime example of the strongman build to me and this is yet another hill I'm willing to die on watch project moon turn him into a beanpole once he inevitably shows up in limbus and me turning into the first real world distortion as a consequence.

Finally, Stephan is very notoriously the most informal member of the office, not only being the only one who doesn't wear any sort of formal clothing fully prioritizing comfort and practicality over looks but also completely disregarding formalities with his attitude at work (again, he interrupts Angela's introductory monologue, and again, his first two lines when being introduced are him cracking jokes), being the only member of the office to swear on screen and using several informal expressions and metaphors through both the reception dialogue and his keypage story.

And for good measure, he's a compilation of Stephan being the creature he is.

The literal introduction of the characters, also known as the moment in which Stephan became one of my favorite characters because he's Just Like Me Fr

Very normal behavior for someone who hates blood and violence and isn't used to seeing it. This man is more than capable (and willing, assuming money is involved) to murder kill.

Which, I mean, this attitude is very different from what we see from Sinclair.

2.- Sinclair, a summary

In retrospect I probably should have made this one first because I'm gonna be honest with you, Sinclair is one of the sinners I care about the least (I still like him and think he's pretty cool mind you I just don't vibe too much with most of the tropes making up the character) so what I have to say about him is less me grasping for straws and subtext because I don't care enough about him to be bothered with a super serious and in depth analysis like I did with Stephan and more things we can explicitly see about him in game and things that happen in the novel Demian.

And if I can have a small parenthesis here, people saying that one of my favorite pjm guys Ever is in any way similar to a guy who despite being pretty cool is just Not the type of character I fully vibe with... really, it gets annoying fast. Anyway back to the serious analysis now.

2.1- Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919)

To be able to understand Sinclair as he is depicted in Limbus Company, it is important to first be familiar with the source material of the original iteration of the character, that's it we're doing your high school homework by compiling several literary analysis of a symbolic psychological early 20th century autobiographical novel i hope you guys signed up for this (and if you didn't, though luck! i will do this anyway, I love literary analysis).

In the novel, young Emil finds himself torn between the worlds of light (which can be equated to the Garden of Eden, but it's more tangible meaning for our protagonist is his childhood home and family, a serene and well structure/organized space where he can be innocent, untainted by the evils of the outside world) and darkness (basically all the scary shit that goes on outside, where people do evil things for the sake of it), he finds himself tempted by the violence of the outside world, particularly through the actions of his classmate Franz Kromer, which eventually leads him to consider that due to being exposed to this tainted world of evil he no longer can return to the world of good and innocence.

Here, the character of Demian acts as a guide, someone who helps Sinclair to trascend this binary perception of good vs evil and to see himself as someone worthy of happiness because him witnessing the world of evil didn't taint him as a person but rather merely showed him another face of the world, Demian here mentions the Mark of Cain as a symbol of mental strenght and freedom, considering that bearers of this mark are capable of making their own choices and should be able to go beyond their assigned roles, being able to embody aspects of both worlds. This is to say that Demian's view is less focused on good vs evil, instead taking a more order vs chaos approach (without giving an explicit moral character to either).

In the book, the symbol of a bird breaking out of the egg is frequently used to represent Emil's personal growth, the egg represents safety and innocence, but a bird must eventually leave the egg or it will die, and getting out of the egg is a process than can be seen as violent, as a bird must fight to get out of the egg, and getting out of the egg represents birth but also an irreversible change, it can be seen as breaking out of the world of light and getting permanently in the world of darkness since a broken shell can't be fixed, but it can also mean achieving the enlightment and personal balance to not feel permanently bound to a condition, place or state of being and therefore growing as a person by learning to see himself as a whole human instead of supressing his "evil side" by only forcing the "good side" to surface.

Max Demian is here to show this second meaning of growth/self improvement (while also explaining that Sinclair is permamently growing and must always keep this balance between all the parts conforming the whole being that is himself rather that trying to make parts of himself antagonize each other). This idea of personal growth being one of the core themes of the book.

2.2- Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)

With Sinclair's source media analyzed (at a very surface level, mind you), we now can start talking about the depiction of Sinclair in Limbus Company, how it parallels the book, why the book symbolism is important for this instance of Sinclair and so on.

When we are first introduced to Sinclair in the game he's clearly nervous, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do as he hasn't worked for a similar company before and he isn't used to the gruesome sight of the bus eating people, this does fit inmediately in the motif of a naive person with limited experience about the world (well, to be fair to him most people won't be seeing man-eating buses at a regular basis, but the average backstreets dweller would be familiar with equally violent situations).

With this said, despite Sinclair's obviously nervous behavior... he isn't really a pessimist like Stephan was, in fact, almost every chapter (counting cantos, intervallos and the short mini chapters such as the Dante's notes update episode) have at least one key moment with him trying to rationalize horrible stuff as something much less violent, or simply going "but I thought this thing didn't work like this..." when confronted with the more horrible realities in the city. He thought the G corp veterans were really going to let them pass without a fight, he thought the people being controlled by headhens were just actors wearing mascot costumes, he thought mermaids were the beautiful half-woman half-fish creatures he heard about in fairy tales, and there's more examples but I don't really feel like looking for The Entire Fucking Plot Because This Guy Is An Actual Protagonist Instead Of A Background Guy Like Stephan Was to make my point clearer than it already is. And it's only when he realizes that the real world doesn't fit his expectations that he panics.

Well, there is one exception to this pattern: his own canto. Here, he panics inmediately as soon as K corp's nest is mentioned and spends the first half of the chapter pleading to turn back while saying that they are going to get killed. So what is different here with the rest of the plot?

Obviously, the fact that is related to his very own very personal very specific trauma. That is to say, unlike Stephan who is wary of anything that can put him on danger or cost him more money than it should, Sinclair has a very specific traumatic event that makes him act Like That (sure, he gets scared and nervous outside that, but these are more normal "I'm unfamiliar with this and I don't fully know how to react, this is normal behavior in a human being" reactions than outright "I am Actually Terrified due to being reminded of an actual traumatic event, this reaction is a textbook definition of post-traumatic stress disorder").

HOWEVER, Sinclair being someone who's deeply traumatized and kind of a scaredy cat when it comes to violence and unfamiliar situations... it doesn't mean that he's incompetent or a bad fighter. Almost all of his identities are terrifyingly good fighters (at least in their lore), Los Mariachis fear jefe Sinclair, Cinq director Sinclair is someone most association members are terrified to duel even during training, Blade Lineage Sinclair is considered a talented killer (it's also worth noting that save maybe for the mariachi one, in none of these mirror worlds Sinclair is precisely happy of being recognized as "the guy who's very scary when he fights people", unlike Stephan who I don't think he particularly likes killing but has a more "as long as I get paid..." mentality about it), the only "not very good at this" Sinclair id I can think of is the molar boatworks id where he's more a mechanic than a fighter so he fears he's lagging behind in that aspect. Hell, even the Canon Timeline so to speak (which is to say: his base identity) has him carrying that huge halberd, going on a frenzy attacking some already mutilated inquisitor's corpse, piercing through Guido's armor and dealing a fatal blow that finally killed him for real. To compare, Stephan is good at physical work, but we don't know about his close combat capacities other than the fact that he dislikes it, for Sinclair however we know he's terrifyingly good at physical combat.

Now, I've seen a lot of people call Sinclair a twink and while it's one of these words that nobody agrees on what it means, let's give it the benefit of doubt and say "alright, for the duration of this analysis let's settle on a twink being a young looking (regardless of actual age), thin man with almost no facial/body hair".

Since Sinclair is a rich guy (not just Any Rich Guy though, we're talking of someone whose family had ties to a Wing, probably not some elite guy like Daniel or Hong Lu, but not a self perceived "mediocre" nest dweller like Samjo either), and pressumably not very experienced in combat in most mirror worlds (we know he has no prior experience in the base one where he joined Limbus, at least), let's say that he has enough body mods for him to be much stronger than he looks like despite being thin, he does look thin and young and much to my dissapointment he also has no facial hair, so yeah, under this very broad definition of the term he is a twink.

However if you start adding personality archetypes to the definition he stops being one almost inmediately, as we've been shown time after time that his "submissive" attitude is mostly a result of him not knowing too well how to impose himself and just going along with what the rest say or do, but he's starting to grow tired of that ever since Hell's Chicken (even if he clearly still isn't great at that), as it should be more than obvious for anyone who even just googled "demian herman hesse literary analysis", Sinclair is undergoing a lot of changes even now, and the game is doing a good job at portraying that.

Honestly I also think he'd be hotter with a sleeper build but really, I don't care enough about him to argue about that.

And for the last point, precisely due to his upbringing as a rich guy AND his traumatic experience with Kromer, Sinclair is not only a very polite and mild mannered guy (again, unlike resident creature Stephan), but also he tries to take as little space as possible, both literally and metaphorically, as Dante notices near the end of canto 3 when they finally comment on how Sinclair never talks about his own problems until it's too late because he doesn't want to bother the others as they probably have it worse (again, unlike Stephan "i don't mind loweing team morale and making everyone in the room uncomfortable as long as i get to vent" Full Stop office).

3.- Adressing common arguments

Alright, now that I talked about each character, let's see some of the most common arguments I've seen people use to compare them.

"They look the same!" No, they don't. The only thing they have in common is being blonde but even their hairstyles are different with Sinclair having a simple bowl-ish cut with slightly wavy hair and Stephan having curlier hair (not to mention the whole point I made about body types because I'm the sort of lunatic who cares about that stuff). I won't even bother with this argument.

"They have the same personalities!" Again, they don't. Stephan is very cynical with a lot of his attitude being clearly derivated from him coming from a poor background and having stayed there his whole life, he also doesn't care about his cynism getting in the way and bothering everyone else. On the other hand, Sinclair is someone who could almost be described as naive due to having lived a sheltered childhood and only having his experiences with Kromer and his time at Limbus as moments of realizing that the rest of the world is Not Like His Childhood House, still believing that the world is a binary of good vs evil and expecting things to turn out fine or be much better than they actually are, just to be hit with the reality of the city Not being a nice place where people are nice and polite and not trying to kill him, this is not to say he doesn't have his own issues but even Dante notices during his Canto that Sinclair makes a point to avoid bothering everyone else with his personal problems, keeping them to himself even if that makes things worse on the long run.

"Both are opposed and harmed by a lunatic!" This is an argument I've seen a lot and is incredibly filmsy at best, half of the city's population are lunatics and the other half are people who got opposed by them some way or another. Will you say that Ishmael and the rest of the Pequod crew can be compared to the Full Stop office (or really, even mention the other Full Stop fixers instead of just focusing on Stephan because he happens to be blonde and can be compared to Sinclair) because of their situations with Ahab? Or the W Corp crew who got their train targetted by Jae-heon and Elena (or, you know, the train passengers who were turned into Love townspeople or puppets)? What about the Vermillion Cross who got killed by the Reverb Ensemble? Or the Cane office fixers? or the Zwei association section 6 who got beaten to death by Gyeong-mi just because he felt like doing so? Or the Liu association section 1 who had to deal with Argalia taking Philip away? Or the Kurokumo clan members when they were attacked by Tanya? You aren't comparing them to either Stephan or Sinclair, right? Not to mention that in her weird and fucked up perception of things, Kromer was less opposed to Sinclair as she was trying to lead him to join her and her cause, even the last things she says before getting killed are her calling him to follow her.

"Both are compared to birds!" Oh, right, because I forgot that a very directed symbolic comparison to a baby bird breaking out of it's shell as a symbol of rebirth, learning about the nuances of the world and self improvement/liberation that is consistently used in the source material Sinclair comes from is exactly the same as one (1) throwaway line the big bad guy uses to mock not only Stephan but the whole Full Stop gang, right. And if you want to say "but Tamaki compares him to a bird once too", yeah she calls him a parrot because he keeps repeating the same complaints over and over, it's still not the same as a consistent metaphor.

"Both are sad blonde twinks! They're essentially the same guy." Sad? Yeah, everyone in the city is sad but their ways to be sad are polar opposites, and neither of them is the pure cinnamon roll uwu crybaby archetype people tend to lump both into, Stephan was merely having a bad day and people decided to make that his whole personality (when honestly we get more insight on his actual personality before Argalia shows up, when he's making sarcastic remarks and getting impatient because they weren't starting killing people fast enough) but he's still perfectly capable (and willing) to murder people, and Sinclair is just... someone who lacks experience about the real world and how it works and has a tendency to get nervous because of this, but he can adapt quickly to situations once he understands them. Blonde? Yeah, but I guess if that's a point to draw a comparison then we should also compare them to Don Quixote, the Tiphereths, Lenny, Yun, Lulu, Olga, every single npc, librarian, and agent who comes with blonde hair from the generator... Twinks? Stephan absolutely isn't one, Sinclair depends on how you define twink as nobody seems to get to an agreement with that, if you define it as merely "young looking thin man with almost no visible body hair" then yeah he is one, but if you go for any more specific definition than that he stops fitting into the definition almost instantly.

In conclusion: if I see anyone else comparing them I'll start blocking people liberally bc I'm sick of seeing that shit (I do that already tbh but just so you know), now scram

#pjm #library of ruina #limbus company #.🔫#this full stop office shit gets serious #probab ly not exhaustive but ive had this sitting on my drafts for way too long so i needed to post it so people understand how much i Hate #that godforsaken comparison

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