#while trying to work out of my phone

[sp0o0kylights]

hey its me from the "wheres the adopt a jock update, im dying" thing. im so sorry for it. i had know idea there even was a storm and it is 100% not ur job to keep us updated bc ur doing us favour by uploading content, im sorry i took that for granted.

im also sorry this apology came late, i felt to chicken to write one innitially, i dont know if i did end up sending u one, but ur reaction to my ask came up in my feed again and i really wanted to apologise once more.

I'm so sorry for those you lost in this horrid storm and I'm so proud of u for pushing through, everyone is and I hope u know that.

I know this apology doesn't make up for anything but I just wanted u to know that I took in what u responded, u were well in ur right to be pissed off, and I now know for future to type my messages in a kinder way so they don't get taken as a ride remark, I hope u know I didn't type what I said to be rude, not that it matters in anyway.

we're all looking out for u and wish u all the best, have a great day

It's all good fam--I honestly had a few of these messages between here and A03, some a lot ruder that yours, and yours just happened to be the first one I saw when I managed to get a few hours with proper access to Tumblr (Ie not on the craptastic app on my phone, which refuses to let me answer asks and crashes when I try lol.)

Thank you for apologizing, it does mean a lot, and it takes a lot of courage to do it.

It's a weird lesson to learn sometimes, that people who don't know you as well won't always know you're joking/your sense of humor, or may not mentally be in a space to fully comprehend it as a light prod instead of a "hey dude where's my content."

I think it's also a good reminder that fandom is a community first. I know there's a lot of discussion centered around how we're sliding into a more content mill like vibe vs that community, and that a lot of us are getting impacted by it a bit--I'll be the first to say I was more touchy even before the trees because I've had a lot more weird, demanding comments lately than I ever used to get. Not just in ST either--I'm seeing it on my older fics, in fandoms that are significantly smaller and typically very drama-less. While my policy normally is to delete and ignore, sometimes it builds (and then two trees almost kill you by collapsing your house and you start biting heads off after being stuck in a hotel with your family for two weeks.)

Anyway, thank you sincerely, for apologizing. It did not go unnoticed <3

#if I ever had to guess who would get fifteen seconds of fame in my family #“my house” wasn't even on my mind and yet here we are #damn things been featured in so many fucking news articles/videos #they did finally condemn it though' #like that was ever in fucking question #I will also say I am much saner living in my own space again and not in a loud ass hotel ontop of my entire family #while trying to work out of my phone #I had to export excel spreadsheets off that bitch #I also JUST got my computer back which is why Im responding to everyone now #I had to purchase a lot of shit like you know #wires #and speakers #and a keyboard lmao #but thankfully my tower itself is fine #god I attended a fucking teams meeting on my phone woof #anyway #ty

[whetstonefires]

hey, random question! what platform/method do you use to keep your robust digital media when ripping CDs? i havent done it since i was a kid with itunes (when itunes let you upload your own stuff....) and wanted to start again

Platform...they are files?

Like, mp3s; I keep them in my hard drive and thumb drives and so forth. My 'music' folder has subfolders, mostly by artist, which have subfolders per album. I just. Have the files. In my computer. Very basic method.

I organize and play them through VLC mostly. Or, on devices that still have it, I have kept using Windows Media Player, because I'm comfortable with the UI and why not, but they're actively phasing it out so I can't recommend adopting it lmao. And ofc if you're in the apple ecosystem it's not remotely an option.

I don't know that much about macintosh tbh but afaik they do let you have a file directory where you put your files that you own, which is definitely what I consider to be the most sensible baseline, if you have a device with enough memory. And memory has gotten pretty cheap.

I don't know of any cloud client service that's actively catered to letting you upload stuff you own and then stream those files on any device you please without having to jump through extra hoops, and suspect it might not be a thing at this point because there is no profit in that and it's not free to provide. They really want you to have to pay money to access content that you don't own. Sorry.

I bet you could figure out a way to keep a reasonably large music library in the amount of free storage google gives you with an account, and then play from there, but I don't think it would be very seamless. Maybe even less so on iphone.

But if your phone of whatever type has or can be modified to have sufficient storage space, you really can just. Keep your music in it. And then play it. VLC is open source and very good, and they have it for apple; I definitely recommend it.

But you don't like, keep files in it, it's just a player and sorter. So it doesn't feel like it answers the question you asked exactly, sorry.

#ask #hoc est meum #axiolotl #music #tech #i still have an mp3 player #that i hook up by aux cable to a speaker #when i want to play music out loud #had very smug this holiday season when two people on two occasions spent an hour each trying to get their paid Spotify accounts #to work with the right combination of devices #to actually provide ambient music #while i could do so in thirty seconds flat after the second guy gave up #the first 'guy' was my sister at christmas who borrowed my laptop because she couldn't get her bluetooth speaker working #so she wanted to aux without tying her phone to the speakers #accidentally hard-booted it #and got hella DARVO and made christmas very bad for me #i'm still sore about this and this made me extra smug about 'winning' against spotify at new years lol #but also spotify demonetized most of their tracks so i get to make my penury and inflexibility into a moral stance now lmaooooo

[nikikikiko]

I think GaGene modern AU would be insanely funny mainly because this means they all have access to phones and I cannot stress the amount of times some kind of meme or picture got airdropped around the house randomly

#afk arena #afk eugene #afk gavus #afk lucilla #afk liberta #i think personally #giving them phones is the funniest option ever #because like you know Lucilla would be like sending and downloading memes at breakneck speed #Eugene accepting scam calls Every Single Time and trying to incite a nice little conversation #and every single time he tries to get money out of it too #Liberta feeling extremely petty just starts playing the FNAF freddy jumpscare song while Lucilla's trying to play Among Us peacefully #Gavus head in hands as his family gives him the 106th notification in a row in the family group chat specifically made for emergencies #because he knows theyd like to do their conversations but my guy has work to do please let him work in peace #but no they move hteir conversations into the group chat for emergencies #good for them

[daincrediblegg]

Nothing wrong with me

#behold: the sowed seeds of my upped vitamin d dose #just would like to say that part of this is sponsored by a couple of very kind inboxers who reached out and said that they DID want to know #more about lady terror and which really helped reinvigor my motivations #and I WILL be answering those asks soon enough #(harder to do until I have my laptop back. like I’m sorry y’all I literally wish I knew what I was on in 2019 when I was writing all my #joker headcanon fics on my phone but I cannot replicate that and I dare not even try #)… but regardless it will happen #but also yeah so this is a 6 page chapter summary for the fic and I’ve just started on chapter 2 and this will help a lot when #I get my computer back I think I’ve cleared my head a lot about this fic while not having it #but anyway #yeah uh… #egg’s wip’s #moral of the story is telling people you wanna hear about their oc’s that they’ve been working on for a whole year works #also went down a classical music rabbit hole about it today if that’s of interest to anyone but… me #bc one of my students did a presentation on poe’s impact on music theory and danse macabre which incited me to get familliar with composers #and pieces that would have actively been known in the 1840’s and have wanted to do since that bit about schubert on crozier’s hand organ #got dropped in the scripts #I think they’re going to feud on classical music tastes #average beethoven and chopin stan vs schubert enjoyer FIGHT #(except the serenade. that song was actually written about lady terror I’ve decided) #also thinking about lady terror and poe bc he’s said himself music is the highest art. they are concert buddies for sure #I bet that mf liked beethoven. poe is a big bass guy if I’ve ever seen one #it’s the drama you see

[jimkirkachu]

Wtf, even just browsing job sites / listings / descriptions is enough to make me nauseous with anxiety and depression. When, why, and how did I ever become such a useless and pathetic mess?

#not trek #personal log #unemployment #unemployed #my therapist wanted me simply to Look and see what's out there but omg i've spent 90 minutes and want to tear all the skin off my bones #i can't handle anything that involves phone/video calls‚ customer service‚ relocating‚ teaching‚ or early mornings #trying to look for remote work because she said there's lots available now and yet everything i've seen still seems beyond my capacity #eventually my parents will die. and while i doubt my brother will want their house (so i'll inherit it) i won't last long without an income #i can't take care of myself and it horrifies me #and i know i'll never have a spouse to help me or depend on so once my folks are gone i will be completely on my own #but i don't know how to do the most basic damn things i can't cook can't work a standard 9-5 can't even make phone calls #how the fuck am i ever going to make it? #(i know. i won't‚ that's how.) #i'm in literal all-over physical pain over this‚ headache nausea sore joints sobbing just waiting to see how long i can go without c*tting #prayers appreciated‚ i genuinely don't know what i'm supposed to do #depression #anxiety #depressive episode #my life is an exercise in absurdity shame futility and more shame #self loathing #self pity #pantophobia #spiralling #if you're reading this i am so sorry in so many ways 😣 #forever alone #heartsick #soul sick #jtkchu's brain #stfu jtkchu #early morning thoughts

[sexynetra]

WIP W(Thursday)

Hi I haven’t posted any writing in so long I’m so sorry anyways started a new story today in a panic so have an excerpt :) it should be up within the next week or two!

~~~~~~

Jackie made her way to the nearest coffee stand, needing something to distract her.

“Nervous flier?” The woman behind the counter asked as Jackie swiped her card.

“Huh?”

“You a nervous flier? You look like you’re on the verge of tears,” she said, passing over a scone Jackie definitely hadn’t ordered or paid for.

“Oh, no. I actually love flying. But I’m just here to meet my girlfriend. I’m planning to propose tonight actually,” Jackie said as she took the pastry, placing the bag carefully in her purse.

“How wonderful! Mazel Tov!” The barista gave her a kind smile and sent her off with a second free pastry. For the new fiancée, she had said.

#wrote this at like 1 am while sick and exhausted #and no editing has been done #but I am having fun and that is the most important thing :) #also trying to keep this fic hush hush which I am bad at doing because I like talking to my friends about what I’m writing!!! #but I did whip out 1000 words over the course of the evening and it should fingers crossed be finished tomorrow #I’m usually very fast at writing when I’m at work and I work tomorrow night so! hopefully completion :) #then hopefully edits if my editor is free #and if not we die like mortals and pray for minimal grammatical errors #my writing #wip wednesday #jackie cox #drag race fanfic #drag race fanfiction #also new ship AND new character for me writing so you legally have to be nice to me #it’s the law you’ll be arrested if you’re mean #also edit I wrote this at like 2:30 am not 1 am I was playing silly games on my phone at 1

[toytulini]

terfs go climb into a hole and start rotting. animals cannot inherently tell your "biological sex" you are all so fucking stupid. All this post is saying is that animals are not infallible judges of character and some of them make really stupid vibe checks and that people should try not to take it personally. Unless youre a terf in which case they know and they hate you and you should take it personally

re that one post tbh i do want to stress i dont think animals are like magically psychic at knowing your True Gender tbh i think ppl definitely get way too weird about Animal's judgement of ppl.

Sometimes a dog will vibe check a man and the dog will be right and you should listen. but sometimes the dog will vibe check someone for no good reason. sometimes dogs have wack judgement. sometimes dogs have biases influenced by their owners or previous owners. like. there are Racist Dogs. its not the dogs fault, but that doesnt make the bias theyve developed less real, or less potentially hurtful. i dont think we need to like, Cancel Dogs Bc Sometimes Ppl Can Train Them To Be Racist, but we do need to stop perpetuating the idea that a dog's judgement of someone is infallible. theyre not responsible for it and its not their fault its developed, theyre just dogs, they didnt choose it, but that doesnt mean theyre RIGHT lmao. i think its important to stress this for many reasons but in regard to that last post specifically, if youve ever been vibe checked as a gender you arent by a judgy dog its literally not your fault. might not even be the owners fault. not the dogs fault cos like. its a fucking dog. you do kinda have to be the bigger person in that scenario cos the other person is. A Dog.

#toy txt post #this was meant to be a quick post it got a bit longer and more in depth than i planned oops #i just hate when ppl act like All Dogs have Inherently Correct Judgement Of People #like from every angle. its funny to joke about but i know theres ppl out there who might be feeling like #very fragile in their gender or smth and seeing a post like that if they meet a dog that normally hates men but not women but it doesnt #recognize your inherent true gender im sure seeing shit like that post can be a horr #got interrupted by a phone call while typing it and the post is glitching so i cant see where that tag is cut off so uh #dogs are like ppl in that they can develop biases and have bad judgement and they dont always get it right #they are not like ppl in that it is not possible to ask a dog to examine its biases. you cannot make a dog take a class on #critical race theory. you have to work to socialize and desensitize them against those biases or at least make sure those biases theyve #developed dont negatively impact ppl. in this sense i guess im morally obligated to try to learn more spanish to see if it helps my dog #chill. shes nervous around all new ppl but parents have anecdotally noted she extra dislikes men speaking in spanish. she was a stray so we #dont really know her history. she also does Not like fire pokers outside. weirdly even tho its basically the same tool she is unfazed by #the indoor poker for the woodstove? but ig she wouldve had less exposure to indoor woodstoves as a stray in Louisiana? #but i can see like ppl having a little backyard barbecue and threatening the big mastiff looking stray dog with a fire poker and i think #that region of the country prolly has a higher number of spanish speaking ppl than our current residence so the odds of her running into a #spanish speaking guy who isnt very nice are prolly higher just due to a denser population as a whole. and we think shes part mastiff which #i think is a breed already prone to disliking strangers that probably cooked up into a little cocktail in her brain #luckily shes bad enough with All Strangers that i think honestly it would be hard to even notice her bias? but. ig i need to see if i can #desensitize her? idk. sighs but im scared to open duolingo now 😭. but i could maybe do it. when other ppl wear hats she fucking hates it #i wear a fucking face covering mask that looks like a giant eyeball she looks at me a little quizzically but is fine. jester hat? fine #i am like that video of the person desensitizing that horse except thats just like. living w me. minus the cat thing. id never do that to #the cats or dog. everyone would hate that. squirrel already cant tolerate being held while a dog is out cos he THINKS im going to do that. #it would traumatize the dog cos he'd injure me escaping and then prolly her trying to scare her off to get past her and shes just minding #her business. solo i cant hold that long but is less likely to injure anyone. shadow. first of all all 3 are way too heavy to be holding #like that #im getting lost in the tags again sorry im chewing caffeinated gum. i should go try to buy some catnip #ive made my Phone Calls. im gonna try to go get dressed and buy various catnip products. maybe lure him with a toy this time. need my #parents to help me but not be so visibly Ready to help me next time cos i do not want to chase his ass again...

[countess-of-edessa]

“are the girls going to help you make pierogis?” well no one else is fucking gonna are they? no one else in this house has functional fucking hands apparently

#every Christmas i think about the time we came home from mass and my father said “finally! now we can relax.” and sat down at his computer #and played video games for the next three hours while my mother and sister and i stood six feet away from him in the kitchen making #200 pierogis. #it’s crazy considering the amount of stuff he gets done for him on a daily basis that I would never even think would be done for me by anyo #like bed made for him/all meals/all dishes/food put on his plate for him because he refuses to do it himself/pretty much all errands #whenever he wants tea he just says that want out loud and it gets brought to him by magic #i mean or anything else! he once said “did you say we were having cappuccinos today?” just to no one in particular and we all knew no one h #had said anything of the sort. and then he was given one! #of course he goes to work from 8-6ish every day but other than one day a week it’s remote and has been for years and i can hear him #he is pretty much never not on the phone gossiping with someone #and i don’t begrudge him having a not physically intensive job or anything but im just trying to think of the things he has to do #he makes my mother mow the lawn. i do it when i am home because i think that’s disgraceful. #if my mother begs hard enough he'll do the least amount of yard work possible if it’s something we can’t physically do by ourselves. #but on a daily basis it’s just go to work/eat the breakfast brought to you/eat the lunch brought to you/come downstairs eat the dinner made #for you/play video games until you go to bed in the bed that was made for you in the morning #and on non work days it’s just eat/video games/bed #and like all this to say #he complains more and has a worse attitude than anyone I have ever known in my life #whenever he encounters a minor inconvenience he's talking about how it never ends and he never gets a chance to rest for once #literally any day that’s not spent in complete and total stagnation is considered a failure #he hates when my mother and sister and i are happy like we can’t even play music and laugh in the kitchen while we cook and clean up after #meals because it distracts him from his video games and his YouTube videos about video games and the war in Ukraine #he gets mad when we laugh too much lol like dude you’re pretty lucky you have daughters who can have fun while doing the dishes #considering you haven’t done them in like 20 years #word to the ladies out there btw: my parents used to clean up after dinner together when they first got married. so watch out lmao

[famewolf]

my brain has been really out of whack recently (I think it's the time change among other things) so I'm going to try out some things to see if they help

I might not be on social media a whole lot in the next week or two, but if you're mutuals and want my discord, send me a message

#[static] #I cleared out my queue so I don't feel like I need to keep it going #I'm trying to limit my time on my phone since I've noticed that I've been getting sucked back into it for Hours every day which I *hate* #it's this weird paradox of wanting to keep up with my friends but also knowing that I get sucked into checking the rest of the app - #- that I need to figure out #tumblr is one of the few social medias that I don't get that sucked into but i do like to keep up to date with #for news and friends reasons #but im gonna basically not be using my phone at all except for music for the next while until my brain feels better #it's also the busiest week of the year in my line of work so i want to be sure im taking care of myself #my brain fog has been suuuper bad and being on my phone makes it worse #i wish we all lived closer so that i could just go hang out with ppl instead of being attached to my dumb phone #using phone = less time to do things i like too which also makes me mad when I do it #i dont even like my phone bro ... but tiktok gets me tbh i'll sit on my phone for like 2 hours straight just watching funny little videos

[deus-ex-mona]

it’s that time of week again…

#and M A N today’s getsuyoubi was extra yuuutsu #first i dropped 2 cup things filled with water. cool. a mess was made. nice. #t h e n my workstation shook by itself and one of the cup things toppled down again. only it was filled with (diluted) acid this time!!!! #i wish it fell onto me bc at l e a s t my bad day would’ve ended with just an acid burn instead of getting worse #bc *then* we found out that we were near-out of [insert reagent here] that we need to run blanks for [test thing] yay!!!!! joy!!!!!!!!! #so we had to use a substitute solvent (sadge) #if only it ended there aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i left work on time -> waited forever for the delayed bus -> decided to get some coffee or sth as a pick me up t h e n… #the coffee place happened to run out of single bags so i decided to put it into my bag instead (mistake)… #…a n d dropped my phone while trying to prop the stupid drink upright so it wouldn’t spill. #unfortunately for me though... some rando picked up my phone some time within the 30s-1 min wherein i realised that my phone was gone… #…and took it home with him instead of handing it to the customer service counter at the nearby train stations. ha. #called my phone a couple of times with the phone from a customer service counter but he~~ didn’t~~ pick up~~~~~~~~~ #and so. long story short. i had to leave the house an extra time to go to this guy’s place to pick up my bb (read: my phone) #bc the dude~~~ can’t~~~~ speak~~~ english~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ so he didn’t understand me when i told him my location~~~~~~~ #and now it’s almost 8.30 in the pm. im waiting for the delayed bus to go home from wherever tf i am now. and i haven’t eaten all day :)))) #(aside from a small cake thing but it’s negligible tbh) #aND HOLY FK I HATE THIS I FLAGGED DOWN THE BUS BUT IT SKIPPED THE STOP HELP ME I JUST WANNA GO HOME #.am i allowed to cry yet. i. just. i just wanna eat my dinner. #…come to think of it my drink ended up spilling in my bag while i was hunting for my phone. so. there’s that to clean up ig. #ughhhhhhhhh i wish that guy had just left my phone where he found it. s o b s #so yeah. if you read this i hope you had a good monday at least… #this truly is my ✨t r a g i c c o m e d y✨

[bluejaybytes]

@snowshinobi Hiiiii :3 I'm responding to your tags on a new post and not the original since the original was already somewhat lengthy, and I plan on being LONG and RAMBLY, but I have sooo many thoughts on what you said and I'm going to say them. Also my browser crashed TWICE (TWO TIMES. 2) when trying to write this post so I'm really fighting for my life out here to get my silly little OC posts done. Also it's under the cut because it's looooong as hell LMAO

Firstly, you're so nice to me forever <3 Secondly, I think you've basically hit the nail on the head. The majority of the issues Maggie has coming back from death and her 9 years gone are really tied almost exclusively to her close family, because she... never really had anyone else. While in-universe it's only 9 years, realistically the jump in technology and culture is around ~20-30 years (Maggie died in the 90s/early 2000s essentially, and wakes up in a just barely futuristic city), but... the most jarring thing to her in terms of what she missed out on is just. Flipphones are no longer popular. Other than her family, she's only close with one other person... who just so happens to be a ghost, and therefore both 1. Wouldn't change much over the timespan due to how long she's been a ghost and 2. Unlike her family, was aware that something happened, since she could see the ghost-of-a-ghost Maggie left behind (The ghosts name is Opal, she positions herself as a sort of "guardian angel" figure, though she's not actually, and serves as just another parental figure for Maggie while also getting after the ghosts that constantly harass her to pass on messages to the living). Maggie has no real relationships outside of her family, and while her relationships with her family are massively impacted by her unknowing death, other than that... the timeskip itself doesn't weigh on her because she had no one regardless. Her struggle to adjust to everything thats happened would've happened regardless of the timeskip for her, because she was such an isolated shut-in that it's the same whether it happened the next day, or nearly a full decade later

So another very interesting thing is that you've actually completely seen where I was going with everything, in spite of everything I said being very surface level and not actually delving into the plot at all. I completely skimmed over Jenna (She's very important to the plot, but she's by in large a regular person as opposed to Maggie's... everything), but for some additional context, Jenna has a horrendously shitty homelife, so her moving in with Maggie is both a gradual process (It goes from spending time there, to spending nights, to eventually just never going back home and moving in fully), and also serves as an escape for her. Part of that is also, so vitally, the food aspect. For some additional additional context, souls essentially serve as a persons lifeforce, practically every bodily function is improved by a soul that's stronger, though the "strength" of a soul is essentially entirely random, and not dependent on the individuals actions of any kind. Maggie had a generally weird soul before (Seeing ghosts inherently means she has to have something going on with her soul), but when she wakes up after her death, her soul is now even weirder, and part of that is that it essentially lets her get away with bad habits she absolutely should be seeing more consequences for. She barely eats, and when she does, it's basically exclusively crackers and whatever other safe foods she has around the house, because actually making food is a level of care and effort she just... doesn't give to herself in the slightest. Part of Jenna staying with her is that Jenna, without really discussing it, entirely takes up the mantle of caretaker of the apartment, with the biggest task being food prep, Jenna sees Maggie's unwillingness to take care of herself and silently steps up and starts making her actual meals so she's eating properly.

The problem is is that this also kinda... just straight up sucks? Jenna doesn't think much of it, it's something that needed to be done so she's doing it, she wants Maggie to be well fed even if she won't do it herself, and she's already been responsible for making all of her own meals for years prior anyways, so it's just another thing she does. Except that's shitty! Maggie's seen firsthand how terrible her homelife is, and it really weighs on her how even in her escape from that, Jenna's still being put in a position where she feels like she must care for her or else she just won't eat properly. So food is such a massively important thing to both of them, it's this symbol of love for both of them, it's love on the part of Jenna, for stepping in and taking care of Maggie when she can't do it herself, and it's love on the part of Maggie, for realizing how her own bad habits impact the people she cares about and wanting to lift that weight by taking care of herself better. It's also very vital for Maggie because she just... doesn't... have hobbies. Learning how to cook becomes really her only hobby and she puts all of her love and care into it, because for the first time in a long while she's actually passionate about something! ...Unfortunately she also is very very bad at it. She's inventing new dishes like "Burnt Salad" and "Please Help I Fucked Up Kraft Mac N Cheese" and still having to have Jenna come in and help her. But it's the thought that counts, and it'll only be a matter of time before she can make something vaguely edible.

And finally, the stuff about names! I didn't post it here, but while idly talking about her in a Discord server I'm in, I definitely think that had I made Maggie like even a few months later than I would've done she would've been nonbinary. As it stands right now though, I'm saying she's probably some form of genderweird but too busy trying not to die to think about it <3 Growing up knowing that ghosts are real and routinely being shut down by authority figures in her life about it has made her very aware of how bullshit a lot of things are and how the people who claim to be knowledgeable tend to not know what they're talking about (Beyond just the "people don't think ghosts are real", she's also got ghosts willing to tell her when people are lying because they've got nothing better to do than just gossip) , so if she spent even just a moment thinking about gender as a social construct she'd instantly recognize that and probably take up some form of genderweird label, but as it stands she's just too stressed with Being The Protagonist to think about that

Now, the thing with Margaret. I'm not even going to lie to you, I think you made a better connection to how a name connects with community in terms of the narrative themes than I did. The thing with Margaret denying the name "Maggie" existed for two reasons, the in-universe explanation is that, with the little scrap of soul Margaret has leftover from Maggie, it's essentially working overtime just to keep her vitals working, it can't dedicate time and energy to making her an individual with preferences and a personality, so part of that is that she doesn't respond to "Maggie" because ultimately, that is not her name. Her name is Margaret and she's not going to respond to "Maggie" because "Maggie" isn't her name. Of course, out of universe the reasoning is that I wanted an easy way to distinguish between Maggie as she is the protagonist, and the version of her that lived in the years she was gone, so different names makes the most sense.

I think your connection to how name relates to community genuinely works on a level I hadn't fully pieced together myself yet and I really love that because I think that absolutely works with everything. One of the main conflicts of the plot is how Maggie is entirely disconnected from her family thanks to the years she was gone, with Margaret having no priorities beyond "survive", she basically never spoke with her parents or brother for years. While her family tried to reach out to her repeatedly (Especially given that, while they're unaware the truth of what happened the night Maggie was murdered, they do know something happened, and they believe that whatever it was severely traumatized her, and that's where the sudden and drastic shift in personality came from), there's a point where they just... gave up. She wasn't trying to talk with them or contact them in the slightest, so around a year or two after Margaret moved out, her parents gave up on her. Her brother would still be there a bit, but he also didn't really... try... anymore.

When Maggie wakes up, she tries to call her parents... and they don't pick up. They'd grown resentful over the years, and now that Maggie wants to talk to them, they don't forgive her for the years of not speaking to them, and aren't interested in whatever she has to say after nearly a decade of trying to reconnect with her and being met with nothing. It's her insistence that she wants to be called Maggie that actually gets her brother to realize she's telling the truth and that something happened. She shows up at his door, already something that Margaret wouldn't have done, and that combined with her being visibly upset when he calls her Margaret and tells him that's not her and that she's Maggie, it signals to him that whatever's going on is real (...though he would've figured this out eventually, given that she also literally 17 again and not in her mid-20s, and has a giant glowing stab wound in her chest). I think it works absolutely perfectly as being a symbol of community, her disconnect from her community is what led to her being called Margaret, and her desperation to be returned to that community is when she's Maggie again. So uh. Congrats on getting the themes of my OCs better than I did <3

And uhhhh closing thoughts! I honestly did still skim over the majority of the plot (Literally never even mentioned Eli or what's going on with her stab wound </3), but I think you reeeeally hit the nail on the head with everything I'm kinda getting at with these OCs, which is... frankly wild given how little main plot I actually got at. Basically everything I mentioned in my original post was the setup, not the main plot. But waaaaugh thank you for being so niceys to me and also giving me another excuse to ramble endlessly <3

#my OCs #uhhh MAGGIE FUN FACTS: #Animals can tell when a soul is weird so she has a colony of stray cats that hang around her apartment door #she doesnt even LIKE animals that much (She barely takes care of HERSELF shes not taking care of any animals.) #but they all like her weirdass soul and keep hanging around because of it #When the plot ends she gives one of the stray cats to her parents as a 'sorry i died' gift #The cats name is Marge- named by Jenna and also specifically its 'Marge' said in a Simpsons impression. any Simpson #It's Jennas FAVORITE cat out of the strays bc she says she looks like Maggie. also Marge is a male cat #Neither Jenna nor Maggie know how to tell the difference between a male and female cat reliably so they assume Marge is female- hes not #Also Eli's the closest to the 'main antagonist' the story gets. hes an old coworker of Margarets and basically her only friend #and Maggie's too scared with her whole 'is actively dying' thing and doesnt know how to tell him 'hey im not your friend- she died' #ELI thinks that Margaret is essentially have some sort of extreme mental breakdown and is trying to get her help bc he cares about her- #-unaware that Maggie is essentially a different person and doesnt know him #anyways uhhhh Maggie attempts to beat him to death with her laptop once. sorry Eli. luckily shes 17 and scrawny as fuck- #-so he's able to throw her off of him but its still. BAD #Maggie's got INSANE insomnia for a large variety of reasons- and falls asleep on the floor one night while on her laptop #Eli- having gotten off work late and going to check on Margaret- who hasnt shown up to work in weeks and isnt answering her phone #-spots Maggie passed out on the floor and assumes shes having some sort of medical emergency #Margaret had left her spare keys at work which he'd grabbed- so he lets himself in to get her to a hospital #Only for Maggie to wake up. With a strange man in her apartment in the middle of the night. Wuh Oh ! #THIS time however- when she's home alone (shes not alone Jenna's asleep in the other room) and she spots a stranger in her house- #-she ends up with a fight reaction and NOT freeze <3 #also her full name is Margaret Elisabeth Newell and her brothers name is Hawke #one of the very few times i will give my OC a full name- and entirely bc my friend suggested her last name LMAO #also she believes in bigfoot. GHOSTS are real and theyre WAY less believable than 'big ape' so she fully believes it #Opal keeps trying to tell her no that ones ACTUALLY not real and shes like uh huh. sure. ill believe it when i see it

[disdaidal]

I don't want to brag or sound too optimistic about it, but after three weeks of training at a private college, I think my lessons with this one particular immigrant student (who has serious motivational problems lemme tell ya) are finally starting to get through and there's been improvement.

Only slight improvement so far but I have spotted some, so maybe not all hope is lost yet.

Remains to be seen I guess.

#personal #so in case anyone's still wondering i'm studying to become a tutor/instructor/guidance counselor etc. etc. whatever it's called in english #and currently i mostly work with immigrants with language. sometimes i help high school students as well. but mostly immigrants #and there's this one immigrant student who's been there since last spring. and he still barely even knows the basics because he's 'given up #according to him that is. he told me this at least three times yesterday and i told him that's a problem #so i've been trying to hammer it through his head that he can't be sitting in classes and using his phone when he's supposed to be learning #or expect me or teachers giving him all the answers when he also needs to show a little effort and help us back as well #and that he needs to participate in pair and group activities in classes because we're a team and we need to work together #so basically he's been asking me to either teach him or then find someone who can teach him #i told one of our teachers this and she answered that he could also participate in evening activities at the college but he's not doing tha #and according to him he doesn't 'mingle'. so i told him maybe he should once in a while. get out of his comfort zone. at least try #to my surprise he actually showed up to one of the evening activities that i hosted. didn't do much anything there but sit but still #that was effort. he did exactly what i said despite it making him a little uncomfortable so that's improvement #so then yesterday he asked me about teaching him the language again. i told him i host a homework club at tuesdays & thursdays @ 3:30-4:30p #he showed up there yesterday and was the only student. so i had time to teach him basic greetings. weekdays. months. things he shoulda know #and i thought it's all probably in vain but i tried. so today. he was in their class and actually doing pair work and reading stuff aloud #and even translating some stuff when i asked. calling it easy. and that he's trying to use his phone less and memorize this stuff instead #to which the rest clapped at and cheered him on for. and i told this to the teacher afterwards when she asked me about him. and she gave #me a thumbs up and looked a little surprised but also delighted. because he's been a popular subject amongst ourselves for a reason #so i don't want to get too optimistic about it. because he still has an attitude problem. but he's tried a little at least. so there's hope

[stupid-dyke]

stayed up til 3 when I have an 8am again. I do this because I hate myself so sos sososososososososo much. It's really funny because I don;t fall asleep in class thanks to my meds but I've noticed every time I go to class after 4 hrs sleep people act weird around me which is how I know im acting really weird. And I am so extremely angry at myself. I spent 4 hours. well 8 hours. Well all day. Pretending I'm going to do homework and distracting myself with various other things on my laptop or crying on the phone to my parents. Got zerooooo work done at all i stayed up most of the nihght for literally no gain whatsoever this is pure self harm. Which I do becauase again I hate myself. Because I didn't do my work. Which i won't do tomorrow either because i'll be so tired I wont be able to string a sentence together even though I'm supposed to give a presentation haha. My favorite activity is staring at the clock on my laptop getting later and later and later. new high score etc. Who's a hypersomniac now. Imagine how much easier this semester would have been if I'd gone to bed before 2am ever. I'm so fucking angry at myself I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep now even. If I fail my classes again my parents are gonna make me live at home forever and say im too crazy to live on my own. I know I was supposed to get a therapist but I hate them all so, so, so much. I think people get that job bc they feel powerful telling some pathetic person what to do knowing I literally cannot do it and will come back week after week admittingn failure and paying

I know I was supposed to take the new experimental FDA approved drug for IH but the list of side effects is fucking terrifying and I live and sleep alone so i really don't want to take a super powerful sedative that can make you stop breathing. So I'm gonna keep taking stimualnts and lying to myself that today is the last day I stay up extremely late for no reason.

#it's really sad I'll skip the meds sometimes to try to sleep and it doesn't even help. I just feel worse while awake. #The real reason i can't sleep is because im screwing myself over by doing no work and im terrified im going to fail my fucking classes #and theyre all going to say im crazy if I fail my classes. theyre going to say im crazy and I self sabotaged on purpose #bc i dont want to succeed. Dad says that every day #Dad loves telling me everytjhing wrong with me multiple times a day every day so i never ever forget #hes so helpful. He's trying so hard to help. If i dont answer the phone he starts worrying ive committed suicide #again i was suicidal one week in 2019. Get the fuck over it. You've literally threatened to kill yourself multiple times. Fucking hypocrite #a bunch of my friends are going to graduate this semester and best case scenario i graudate next semester and then I'll lose touch with eve #ybody #and then the good times are over and life is boring and hell forever and ill get more disabled every year until I can't work and then I'll #run out of money and die #you know when I talked to my genetics professor about the alzheimer's results he said somethign will kill you eventually and it #wont be that unless you live to old age which will be good! #so true bestie. so ture #Guys lets be real here. Why the fuck. Do we live. why. It is so goddamn hard. Maybe it;s easy when u get sleep . But that hasn't happened t #me for a while #all my classes end next week and i havent done most assignments since spring break #also over spring break my parents met w a lawyer to revise their will adn afterwards dad told me im executor and explained to me what will #happen after each person in my family dies. #the assumption is that I will outlive everyone. they don't think my sister will live to old age adn they are already old #the lawyer apparently has clients with the same disability as me and all of them had the same thing happen. Once they get another disabilit #and get older it becomes impossible to manage IH and they cant work til retirement age #i just spent an hour typing this shit instead of sleeping. 4am-730am sleep lets go. I should kill myself #i hate my parents fucking advicce bc they;; be like well when i was ur age I was married it sure must suck to be single!!!! fuck you guys f

[avisisisis]

i love being that one friend with a very chaotic personality that gives horrible advice on purpose (then gives some actually good advice) and offers to murder people for you but i also. would like to be taken more seriously. in a "please stop using me as just comedy i am a real person and don't find the jokes you make at my expense (is that the word?) funny" way

#this hasn't been happening as often. bc we're on vacation and i don't see people as ofyen #i like to stay home. i love my home. and i love the loudness of my family but not the loudness of the rest of the world yk?? #but uh #today my friend came to my house #and she has this joke #it's basically about how my siblings are “basically blessed by aphrodite” while i'm. ugly. compared to them #and just ugly in general #she doesn't say ugly but she does imply it. how does she do it?? by pointing out every fucking flaw my face has #“haha your head is egg shaped” #“lol you have a big forehead” #“you look like you have one big eyebrow!” #“your eye bags make you look like a raccoon” #<- this one hit me. harder than others bc like. that's smth ik and it's smth i'm trying to work on #i'm like this because i don't sleep much and because i spend too much time with my phone #i'm like this because i eat too much when i'm not even hungry and i refuse to exercise #and i'm trying to WORK ON IT. #and she just. laughs. at the consequences of all the stuff that's been actually harming me #and i KNOW that i should talk to her about this but HOW #how tf do i do that #it's not a “i don't want to lose her” thing it's more of a “i don't want any more conflict” #my 2022 and my 2023 have been so full of fights and just. pure negativity #and it was all bc of my friends. bc they're toxic and too stupid to see that they're wrong sometimes #and everytime i talked to one of them they would tell me more about the drama between them and some of my other friends and i HATED it sm #i'm flooding the tags w this cause it's. idk i wouldn't want it to be the first thing ppl see if they find this post #also i need to go to sleep it's almost 4am #avis talks #vent

[scionshtola]

enw/6.0 spoilers below the cut

i’m trying to get back into the island fic frame of mind which necessitates thinking about z*nos bc half the things cori is struggling with post enw are related to him. they can’t cast bc of his whole body switcheroo, and when they try to cast it takes them back to that day, trapped in another’s body, desperately dragging themself across the snow to save their friends. and his death weighs on them too, not bc they feel guilty but bc after everything he did to them—hurting shtola back in sb, stalking them throughout enw, projecting onto them and failing to see them as their own person or anything more than a mirror (literally not their own person but a reflection of him), the body swapping!—they only feel relief that he’s dead.

cori is generally a kind and empathetic person and i do a lot of hand waving wrt the amount of killing the wol does—first bc i do think the game is a bit unserious about it frequently except when it suddenly decides to be and secondly bc it just fits her character. she is “the shot that never misses but never kills.” she is not baha blasting two nameless cult members in rak’tika, etc. so any time she does really kill is i think a big deal for her.

but with his death…they have just been so tired and terrified and not wanting anything to do with him but to be left alone. they didn’t want his help at all with endsinger but didn’t feel in a position to turn him down. they didn’t want to fight him in the end but again didn’t feel in a position to reject him—what would he really do if they said no? what would he do to them or to their friends or to anyone else if they let him go? especially if they stayed behind and were not there to stop him.

maybe he’s changed and just wanted to help but they don’t believe that. they don’t trust him, and why would they? but there’s a part of them, later, that wonders if that should matter. if it should matter whether or not his intentions were just or pure or true when he did the right thing anyway. and they wonder what it says about them that they were so quick to disregard that and to feel such relief—almost happiness—at his death.

there’s a quote from the second book in the masquerade series that i think about a lot when i’m thinking about this situation cori is in.

Was goodness still good if you hewed to it out of tactical necessity? Was there, Baru wondered, any difference between being good and pretending to be good for your own gain, if you took the same actions in the end? Was there any difference between telling the truth unconditionally, and deploying the truth in service of your agenda, if you told the same truth? Maybe the Oriati thought so. Maybe the difference between truth-for-itself and tactical truth was the only difference that mattered. Maybe the most crucial and subtle distinction in life was the difference between someone who was truly good and someone playing at goodness to gain power.

ultimately i think cori comes to the same conclusion as the last sentence—it does matter why he did it. now they just have to figure out how to live with the judgment they made, and a decision they made when they thought they were going to die.

#here’s my disclaimer that this is just how cori views it and not like. me not understanding what the point is etc #or me being upset with the story in any way lol it’s given me a lot of good stuff to think about re: cori! #she just really hates z*nos ahdjdksk #sorry for the asterisk btw i’m just not trying to show up in the search. mutuals only post if they care to read it #ugh i want to work on island fic so bad but it’s so much 😭😭 #(it’s v long domt feel bad if u don’t read it i just mostly needed to get it out before i imploded) #i need a text post tag #oc: corisande ymir #my phone died while i was about to post this and i was like this is what i get for trying to have real thoughts ahdjsksk

[rosicheeks]

What would be your perfect date? 😊

First date? Probably just a classic dinner at a restaurant or homemade meal. I want to get all dolled up and they actually dress up too and we spend the time getting to know each other.

#perfect first date and perfect date in general would be different though #I’m a hopeless romantic so I have plentyyyyy date ideas 😂 #the one that comes to my mind right now is a paintball date #(specially thinking of the scene in 10 things i hate about you) #but really??? #truthfully? #I want them to plan a date by themselves and just tell me when to be ready for them to pick me up #i wouldn’t really care what we did #just the thought of having someone actually spend the time planning and getting a date together? #that would blow my mind tbh #i wanna say I’ve been on like 3ish ‘real’ dates and I’m pretty sure I had to decide for each of them #if you know me you know I HATE decisions #so I think having someone know that about me and decide for me and plan it all so I don’t have to lift a finger?? #yeah that sounds like a dream #for the first date I like the idea of just a classic dinner date so then you can kinda feel out the vibes #if we can talk over dinner and constantly have something to talk about (no awkward dead silences) then I’m sure I’d have fun #doing anything else with them #** also I was trying to reply to this ask while I was at work but it didn’t go well 🤦🏽‍♀️ #every single time I looked down at my phone or started typing something would happen in my yard #so I had to set my phone down and take care of it 🤦🏽‍♀️ #only one more shift left and then I’m outta there 👌 #lol this is all over the place I’m sorry #I don’t wanna go back and redo any of it tho so here we are 😂 #I just really want to go on a date in general 😭😭😭 #I want to flirt and blush and get swept off my feet 😤 #thanks for the ask sweetheart 🩷 #ask #lovely mutuals