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waughymommy · 1 month

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Diaper Discipline Guide

Emma & Henry

My boyfriend of 4 years has always had regressive and sub tendencies while I’ve wanted to talk more control in our relationship. We tried several bdsm activities including smacking and bondage but the occasional nature wasn’t really doing it for me.

After finding out more online about Female Led Relationships I came across DD, initially dismissing it. But the more I read, the better and better the idea appealed to me. After some planning I decided to confront my partner and say I wanted to add an element of control and domination into our relationship, by saying I hadn’t decided how to do it yet we had a long discussion without diapers being mentioned where he agreed in principle to “lifestyle dominance” as long as it could be kept between them and not impact his job, friends, etc.

This guide was invaluable to me to plan the rest and it solidified my decision. It took me two weeks to discreetly buy the required supplies, getting them delivered to our apartment on days he was at work. I decided that I wanted a high initial level of DD where he’d be in diapers 24/7 at home.

I decided to start on a Friday night after work. He’d known that I had been preparing for something and I started the conversation by saying my proposal was weird, reassuring him that it wouldn’t be painful/harmful and nobody else would find out but you wanted him to agree to try it for at least 6 weeks.

Although nervous he also seemed excited by the prospect and agreed. We moved to the bedroom where I told him to get undressed before I diapered him for the first time. There was a lot of objections at this stage but I talked him round and the agreement to try it for 6 weeks was helpful.

To make the shock less I started with a medical diaper which wasn’t too thick and let him wear his normal pjs over it. I left him to explore it on his own while going to make dinner. After dinner it was time to tell him all the rules, the main one was that the toilet at home was now banned and he’d be in diapers whenever he’s at home. I kept the baby elements to a minimum and said he’s have to also wear out the house sometimes but I’d make sure nobody could tell and never when he’s at work or with friends/family. I’m not going to lie and say this didn’t involve an argument, especially when he realised that no toilet meant #2 as well but we got through. We ended up watching a movie which was a good way for him to calm down.

He wet his diaper for the first time after the movie which was funny to watch as he was so nervous it was going to leak everywhere. Even though it wasn’t too wet I did change him straight away and made his change extra special too. That night he slept in a diaper for the first time.

Over the first weekend he did get more used to wearing and I allowed him to use the toilet for a bm on Saturday. Sunday however I decided to fully enforce the rules and he messed himself for the first time. I didn’t change him this time and he took a shower. There was a lot of protests again but I said it was none-negotiable. The smell did seem to be the biggest thing that bothered him so I bought some Devrom tablets which had been recommended, it took a few days for them to arrive and a few more of taking them but now his messy diapers hardly smell and the protests have stopped. I’d actually recommend you use these from day 1 to make the transition easier.

The first week was tough but we got through it and I’m happy to say we’re now 7 months in to him being in DD. Over that time I’ve moved to thicker abdl diapers, he wears onesies regularly around the house and the toilet has remained unused by him with only a few exceptions.

We both work mainly from home so I’ve gotten used to checking and changing his diaper but thick diapers + devrom has meant he generally only needs a change after waking up, sometime in the early afternoon and before bed. I’ll also let him change himself if I’m busy or cba.

The best news is after an initial rocky patch, our relationship feels stronger than ever! He proposed to me 5 months in and I can’t see his DD ending any time soon. I’ve increased elements overtime and now the toilet is banned even when out of the house together. Public wearing did take him a while to get used to but actually it’s easy.

I’m sure DD is not for everyone and is much more involved and hard work than other lifestyle changes but for creating a caring bond between you and your partner I’ve found it to be great!

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cumulo-stratus · 4 months

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hi sweet max!

I’m here to drop in a request for Aaron x bau!reader, where reader’s just noticing all the little things Aaron does for them in their day to make it better and easier and how THOUGHTFUL HE IS, like maybe he buys their favourite drinks to stock the fridge on the jet and in the office, making sure that their keyboard at their desk is always charged bc he’s there so late at night and he knows they’d forget. maybe he picks them up in the mornings to make sure they get to work on time. Just him trying his hardest to help them out in teeny tiny ways that make a big difference? sorry if this is long or boring I can try something else but yeah! He’s just so cute and thoughtful. Also masc or gn reader is fine, whichever you prefer!! <3

The Little Things

Request- yes/no

Pairing- Aaron Hotchner x gn!reader

Summary- you notice all the little things Aaron does for you everyday (could be read as romantic or platonic)

warnings- like one use of y/n, fear of flying, mentions of eating/not eating

A/N- Rooommmee!!!! Thank you for this absolutely lovely request, I hade SO much fun writing this, and I may have gotten a little bit carried away😅! But anyways he would SO do that- he's a gentleman fs!! Love u Rome 🫶🫶

wc- 2k

Despite the bright, morning light shining through the large rectangular windows, you still yawned for what must’ve been the fifth time in just as many minutes. In your defense the team had wrapped up a case pretty late the night before. Which meant by the time you were in bed and asleep, it was only a couple hours until your alarm went off to go back to work again the next morning.

Spencer had arrived around the same time as you—you both took public transit to work— so he pushed open one of the large glass doors marking the entrance of the BAU. Both you and Reid offered each other warm, but tired smiles as he let you go ahead of him, holding the door.

coincidentally, you both start making your way to the small kitchenette in the corner of the large bullpen. since you hadn’t had any coffee yet, you B-lined straight for the old, barely functioning coffee maker. Gideon had refused to get a new one when Garcia mentioned getting a keurig, stating that all the new ones these days were too fancy- a coffee maker did not need a screen. So that's how you ended up with a coffee pot with stains and knicks all over it from constant use. But what you noticed when you approached it wasn't the coffee maker itself. But what was sitting next to it.

your snoopy mug!

you couldn't help but break out into a grin at the sight of your favorite mug, it was white with an image of the little white dog, sitting on top of his little house in his signature aviator goggles, hat, and a red scarf. Except the bright red scarf trailed out behind him and morphed into the handle of the mug.

Reid noticed your excitement as he poured his own mug of coffee. The pot was about ¾ full, Hotch and Morgan having already got to it. “Nice mug” Reid commented with a smile as he stirred what must’ve been at least 2 tablespoons of sugar. You thought he was smiling because it was a cute mug—which it was—but Spencer was mostly smiling because he had noticed hotch watching from the window of his office.

Aarons face had one of his rare smiles that actually reached his eyes. He couldn’t help but blush as he watched you fawn over the mug to Reid. A couple minutes later, after Reid had left for his desk, you made eye contact with Aaron, smiling. Then, if he hadn’t gotten the point already, you took a sip of the hot coffee- which you had forgotten was still hot and scrunched your face in pain. It had burned your tongue, causing you to stick your tongue out in pain. Aaron laughed at the silent scene he watched unfold, but you didn't notice as you had already shook it off and walked to your desk.

Only minutes after you had settled into your desk, JJ stood on the raised walkway above the bullpen, calling for everyone to meet in the round table room. They had a case. You a bit reluctantly, heaved yourself up from your chair, the weight of sleep still wearing off. Derek chuckled, and gave your arm a playful shove. As you walked by Spencer's desk, Morgan mussed with his hair to get his attention, as he was so absorbed in his book that he hadn’t heard JJ announce the case.

“Come on pretty boy, we got a case-“ Morgan didn’t finish his sentence before you had sped ahead to catch up with Aaron as he made his way to the round table room. “Thanks for the cereal bar by the way, I forgot breakfast on the way out again.” You spoke casually, barely even making eye contact with him, as this was a normal occurrence. You often arrive at work to find a cereal bar, or pastry on your desk with a little note on it. They were usually Aaron reminding you how important it was to eat.

“you need to eat breakfast you know y/n, it’ll affect your abilities in cases if you're not careful you know” you just rolled your eyes at Aarons comment, he was often very protective in that way. Although it was a bit annoying sometimes, you mostly found it endearing. It showed that he cared.

Instead of responding to Aaron’s comment, you just took a bite of your cereal bar as you sat down. JJ started going over the case, 3 women in Wisconsin were missing and presumed dead after days of searching.

”wheels up” hotch called to the team, and everyone almost immediately dispersed to get themselves ready to leave.

—

As everyone filed onto the plane and took their seats, you followed Aaron, as you and he often bounced ideas of each other well. And for one other reason. but no one else, not even Emily, your best friend (only second to Aaron), knew about it except for you two.

You had a fear of flying, take off and landing in particular always freaked you out. You knew it wasn't a good phobia to have, considering how much flying you had to do for your job, but you couldn’t help it. That’s where Aaron came in, you would always sit next to him at the tables, and he would always offer you his hand under the table. He never said anything about it, and no one ever noticed. but every flight a minute or so before takeoff and landing he would rest his hand palm up on your thigh in a silent offering of comfort. and every flight for a minute or so after take off and landing he would keep your hand in his, letting you play with his fingers knowing it often helped you ground yourself and refocus.

That day he offered a small smile along with his hand when no one else was looking. Morgan and Reid were arguing, JJ was scolding them, Rossi was reading a book, and Emily was getting herself a cup of tea. You decided to get yourself something too, after take off of course when the plane was safely en route to wisconsin.

When you approached the tiny kitchenette of the jet the first thing that came to mind was something snarky, like cheetos. JJ always kept them stocked. But then you noticed your favorite as you scanned the small cupboard, cheddar pringle’s! They were cheesy, crunchy and salty- aka the perfect chip. You immediately grabbed them and tore off the lid, excited to eat the crunchy chips. You had only had coffee and a cereal bar to eat so far that day. Aaron watched you walk back to your seat with a contented smile on your face and a small bounce to your step.

When you arrived at your seat you didn't hesitate to plop down next to Aaron and take a big bite of chips. He couldn’t help but laugh a bit at your obsession with the salty snack and decided to comment, knowing he had put them there last case, noticing they didn't have any.

“oh, looks like you found your favorite, how nice-“ his smile was almost sly and you noticed. It didn’t take long for you to connect the dots that he had restocked them, he often did. And they were often your favorites, your favorite energy drink in the fridge, your favorite protein bars in the cupboard, and your favorite snacks on the jet.

—

After a long day of profiling in Wisconsin, the team had ordered take out and decided to all sit together around the large table in the conference room that had been provided by the local police department.

You sat with Aaron to your left, and Derek to your right. THere were 2 trays of food in the middle and various smaller dishes surrounding it. Most of the team was still discussing the case as they served themselves from the various dishes.

You were the last person to serve yourself, as you had been too absorbed in a conversation with Aaron about where he got his many, very, nice suits. You had learned that Aaron Hotchner gets all of his suits tailored.

After lots of discussion, and some slightly subpar asian food, the team was ready to get back to work, it was only 9 o’clock, and they were all pretty much workaholics. So reid went back to his many colored markers and his geo-profile. For whatever reason, you hadn’t been able to sleep very well the night before, and due to that you were practically falling asleep standing up. You had moved from sitting into a standing position in order to keep yourself awake a little more.

It wasn't working. And Hotch noticed this. Aaron used his legs to push up and out of his office chair away from the table to where you were standing about a foot away. He tapped your shoulder to get your attention before speaking. Your head snapped towards him, surprised, as if you hadn’t even noticed him approaching in your trance-like state.

”y/n, you should go back to the hotel, you're no use if you're not clear headed. The team will benefit from you much more if you just get some rest and come tomorrow morning”. You almost immediately tried to protest leaving, but a stern look from Aaron put any protests to rest. Even when you really wanted to protest the idea of him driving you to the hotel, since in his words “you're in no condition to drive, I don't need an agent in a car crash and 3 dead women”. Eventually you had accepted it, as you were too tired to care by the time you and Aaron were on the road to the hotel.

Aaron left the radio on, playing quietly in the background so the silence wouldnt be awkward. But, number one, you were already half asleep by the time he started driving, and number two, the silence was never awkward with Aaron, you felt comfortable with him.

When you arrived at the hotel, hotch shook your shoulder lightly and you jumped awake saying, “Im awake! I'm here! I'm ready..” before trailing off and yawning. Hotch chuckled as he walked around the car to open your door for you, inviting you to step out in front of him. He walked with you to the elevator and pushed the button for you, always a gentleman.

When you finally got into your room after struggling with the key for a minute, you flopped face down on your bed with a groan as Aaron watched from the doorway. When he noticed the lamp on he immediately started crossing the room to turn it off, so you could sleep.

After the lamp was turned off, and Aaron was sure you were okay, and fast asleep, he left for his room in order to change his shirt as he had spilled soy sauce on it at dinner. After making his way to his room down the hall and fumbling with his own key, Aaron made it into his own room to pull out a new shirt. After the long process of taking off his tie and jacket, switching shirts, and putting his tie and jacket back on, he turned off the lamp on the desk near the door. Aaron shut the door behind him quietly so as to not disturb anyone at 10:00 at night.

At first he continued past your room, but then two steps later he changed his mind, turning on his heels back down the hall. He wanted to make sure you were alright one last time before he went back to the police precinct. He had made sure to get a copy of everyone’s room key when they checked in, in case of emergencies. And it wasn’t exactly an emergency, but if you didn't tell, Aaron wouldn't.

When the door clicked open quietly, light from the hallway bled into the dark room. In front of him lay your sound asleep body, still in its work clothes, passed out face down on the hotel bed. Aaron couldn't help but smile as he approached you, bending down to your level. When his face was level with yours he left a small kiss on your cheek, before retreating back into the well lit hallway and into the night.

The End

#criminal minds #bau #bau team #Aaron hotchner #Aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x gn reader #Gn reader #Aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner fluff #fluff #request #requests!#the radient Rome !!#Maxs mailbox !!

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blue-slxt · 3 months

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Romancing Pandora 7

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

A/N: Somehow, this turned into a fluff piece instead of smut??? Sorry if that's disappointing, I truly don't know how we got here, but here it is lol. I still hope you guys like it!

Pairing: Tsireya x Fem!Metkayina!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Pining, Best Friend/Wingman Neteyam, AoNete ship

“You are staring again”, Neteyam singsongs next to you breaking you out of your trance.

“Shut up, I was not!” The blush on your face is evident even though you try your best to hide your face behind your hair. He chuckles and lightly nudges your shoulder with his own. “You should just go talk to her.”

“It’s not that simple!” your hands slide down your face in frustration.

“Sure it is. Just walk up and start a conversation. I do it all the time”, he says matter of factly.

“Well, yea. You’re you! You look like that! And you’re charming and funny and a strong warrior and–” “Please, go on”

You laugh and lightly slap his arm making him raise his hands in mock surrender.

“My point is, she’s the daughter of the chief. She’s not just anybody. It’s different talking to her.”

“Oh, yea because I wouldn’t know a thing about that. I’m just dating the future chief. No big deal.” He drips sarcasm and you roll your eyes.

“Fair.”

Neteyam’s eyes shift from your face to looking right behind you and a smirk crosses his lips. “Don’t freak out, but she’s coming this way”, he half-whispers.

It feels like your heart rate doubles in a matter of seconds. You hurriedly run your fingers through your hair in an attempt to seem more presentable while still looking casual. Your eyes widen in slight panic looking at Neteyam and he simply raises his brows at you in a way that says ‘just talk like a person’. Thankfully, he starts the conversation to hopefully make the transition easier for you.

“Tsireya, how are you today?”

You finally turn around and she’s closer than you had realized. Great Mother, she’s beautiful. Her wavy hair perfectly frames her round face and her eyes somehow seem to always glitter. And her smile makes your heart jump to your throat.

“I am fine, thank you. I wanted to ask if the two of you will be joining us for the celebration tonight.” Her eyes bounce between the two of you, but her gaze ultimately settles on you waiting for an answer.

It’s as if your mind has completely melted and took all sense of speaking with it. It’s only when Neteyam lightly nudges you that the lump in your throat allows itself to be swallowed down.

“Y-yes. Yes, we will. Can’t wait.”

Her smile widens and she beams at you, “Great! I can’t wait to see you there!” She walks past you both to carry on her way and the sway of her hips as she walks leaves you stunned.

“Well, would you look at that” Neteyam says side-eyeing you playfully.

…

Is it possible to die of nerves? Because if it is, you’re pretty sure that you’re due to drop any second now. The music is loud and there are so many people. Your tail hasn’t stopped thumping against your thigh since you got here. Standing at the edge of the crowd nervously clutching your drink is already overwhelming enough without getting into the mix.

Neteyam suddenly appears from between the crowd of people and comes over to you very out of breath from dancing. You silently offer him your drink which he happily takes a swig of.

“Not joining the festivities?” he asks.

“Look at her, Teyam! She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. How am I possibly supposed to focus long enough to hold an actual conversation with her?” Your tail tapping seems to start tapping double time.

“Oh, Great Mother, this is ridiculous. Watch. You’ll thank me later. Tsireya!” he calls out to her over the swarm of people. Your eyes almost bulge out of your head from how you’re looking at him. “Tey, what are you doing?” you whisper shout to him, but he ignores you and continues to wave Tsireya over. He catches her attention and she makes her way over to the two of you. Your eyes dart around anxiously as she approaches.

“She’s nervous about dancing by herself, care to give her a hand?” Neteyam says to her over the music. Tsireya’s smile almost splits her face in half when she grabs you by the wrist and starts to drag you into the crowd. Your head swivels back and forth between Tsireya and Neteyam in a panic. You silently mouth to him ‘asshole’ and he offers you a simple thumbs up in return.

When Tsireya has you fully immersed in the crowd, she holds both of your hands in hers and starts to help you move to the music.

“Come on, dance with me!” Her hips sway and her arms flow around her and you can’t help but think how bewitching she looks right now. Slowly, and somewhat clumsily, you start to move to the music and follow her moves. She giggles and does a little clap for you showing how happy she is. She lets go of your hands and just dances on her own. She turns and presses her back against your chest while moving her hips on yours. Your ears stand straight up and you look back at Neteyam wide eyed. He gives you two thumbs up and mouths ‘hold her’ to you. It feels like your hands are trembling as you move them, but you tentatively rest them on her hips and she places her hands over yours.

Tsireya rests her head back onto your shoulder and she turns her face to you. You know that she has to notice the purple color starting to stain your face with her being so close right now. A gentle smirk spreads on her face and she presses a single kiss to your cheek. The light purple coloring your face deepens to a dark violet and you go stiff as a board. Tsireya giggles at you and turns in your hold to face you. She leans in and whispers in your ear, “Would you like to go somewhere with me?”

You mindlessly nod your head at her and she giddily takes your hand again to lead you off somewhere. As you’re leaving the crowd, you give one last look to Neteyam who was now joined by Ao’nung. You can see the two of them talking and Neteyam points in your direction which Ao’nung follows with his eyes. They share a laugh and Ao’nung throws his arm over Neteyam’s shoulders before the two of them wave you off.

Your heart feels like it’s in your stomach, but if it means getting alone time with Tsireya, then you would gladly go wherever she led you.

Taglist: @tallulah477 @eywaite @stickyexpertbailiffjudge @quicktosimp @tumblingdevils @teyamshuman @rivatar @frogletscribe @witchsprit @luvv4j4ybe11 @hope-di-angelo

@neteyams-wh0re @itchaboi-itchyboy @pandoraslxna @neteyamsyawntu @teyamsatan @sulieykte @xylianasblog @justcaptiannoodles

#avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar fic #awow #avatar smut #tsireya x reader #aged up tsireya #tsireya fanfiction #tsireya #awow smut #romancingpandora2024

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vitaminseetarot · 7 months

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PAC: Lunar Eclipse - General Messages

Sup y'all, I'm back for the second round of my PAC marathon happening before the end of October! I wanted to pull some guidance from this lunar eclipse season, especially since it's felt very energetically heavy since the last full moon. All three piles are going through some stage of great transformation taking place -- just in time for Scorpio season.

To assist me, I've consulted three red dragons, known in the deck as Watcher dragons, to help you choose your reading. I like Universal Dragon oracle as an "energy" deck by embodying the traits each dragon represents through meditation practice, and these red dragons specialize in guiding through important life transitions. If you prefer to choose intuitively by color, I've also added three gemstones for your piles below:

Pile 1, Knowledge Dragon + Cherry Quartz Pile 2, Awakening Dragon + Lepidolite Pile 3, Emergence Dragon + Lapis Lazuli

Pile 1: Knowledge Dragon + Cherry Quartz

Supermoon, 21. Venus, 5. Heart Healing, Alcalb: Poison and Medicine, 4 of Cups, 2 of Wands, VI Lovers, King of Pentacles, XX Judgement

Please be gentle with yourself at this time, pile 1. You're in need of a soothing kind of support. This could be a turbulent time to deal with purging out any negativity from your past. You may get reminders of some old issues which return out of nowhere to grab your attention. Even if occasional, you may need to remind yourself that you will be okay.

Be open with giving yourself comfort, or letting others baby you a little bit when you're feeling down. The King of Pentacles could be you or someone else, but this is the profile of somebody who is generous and aims to please. Embodying Venusian energy, this King wants you to feel at rest and does not mind offering tasty fruit or a warm blanket to cheer you up. Sitting next to the Four of Cups, it may be emphasizing that you need to allow yourself the chance to receive this care.

If your issue is related to a partnership, going out and spending time with friends or even on your own may be a better way to take it easy, instead of trying to work out anything now. This is not the exact time or place to be settling out bigger issues in your relationships unless it's urgent. They'll show up on their own time anyway. This reading wants to focus on maintaining your emotional well being. If this is not relationship but involves a situation in the present, then step away as much as you can and be as kind and patient with yourself as possible.

The key here is to maintain self awareness when these strong emotions move through you, that's what the Knowledge dragon wants you to know. "Knowing is half the battle." There may be a strong pull to making the kind of choices that can lead to major growth in your life path, but although new events and alliance are waiting ahead of you, the lunar eclipse is a golden opportunity to just purge and completely release whatever trauma based feelings are trying to hold you back.

You could be particularly affected by the phases and placements of the moon. Check your natal chart to see and compare the transiting moon with yours, see how the moon makes contact with other planets as it moves through each of the signs. If you're interested in brushing up your studies, whether astronomy or astrology, this is a very good time to glean a lot more insight than normal. It's easier to learn lessons when you're in a state of ease.

(extra note: I see multiple fruits in your pile: the apple stained glass, cherry quartz, pomegranate, and the berries the blue jays are holding. Fruits can be a reference to eating healthy snacks, or an emphasis on romance. These mood swings may feel intense, but they will yield fruit for you. Please take it how it resonates for you.)

Pile 2: Awakening Dragon + Lepidolite

Full Moon Sagittarius, 15. Retrograde, 6. Freedom, Aldebaran: Destruction and Rejection, Knight of Wands, 6 of Cups, 8 of Wands, 9 of Swords, 8 of Swords

Hey pile 2, you picked one of my favorite cards in this dragon deck! I love how the light in the tree hollow resembles a portal. The energy of the Retrograde card looks to be the very opposite: all the colors of nature are drained, and all that's left are structures of near perfect symmetry and order. It's almost like you're the figure in the Retrograde card who's actually looking back and choosing to leave behind the old structure for the new and unknown with nervous enthusiasm., but not without wistfulness.

This is something you've likely sensed would happen and now that the predicted situation is at hand, things must change quickly to adjust. It reminds me of movies where the character is watching something like a building fall or a ship sink, but they have an escape pod where they can be safe with family. In these movies, the character always takes another look back to remember all the good and bad times that made it so special. The character wants to stay in that space forever until the others shout "c'mon! Hurry up!"

It's understandable that when we sense a big change is underway, we take time out to appreciate the good times had. There's a difference, though, between simply being nostalgic by enjoying memories, and the fear based resistance of walking towards whatever lies ahead. You may have recently gone through a deep shadow work period where some of your anxieties were brought to light and dealt with. You're nearing the end of this difficult cycle, however, so give yourself the chance to breathe a little before moving on.

When the next chapter comes, it may happen rather quickly. That's why the Six of Cups and Lepidolite want you to take a step back just a little and heal your more gentle, imaginative, fun loving side. Read an old comic book or bake cookies, surround yourself with familiar things. This will allow you to be more flexible and resilient about encountering anything that comes next, instead of feeling worn out.

You're at a place now where you're ready to let go of an old cycle, one that kept you feeling a little stuck in the dark. Some balance is needed. Enjoying pieces of the past does not mean getting mired in it and unable to progress. If anything, sometimes it's necessary to take a step back to move two steps forward, like when we watch a movie twice and see new things we hadn't noticed during the first watch. Bring the best from the past with you. When the time is right, don't be afraid to not run, not walk, but to step carefully into the portal.

Pile 3: Emergence Dragon + Lapis Lazuli

South Node, 8. Scorpio, 2. Understanding, Atlas: Guidance and Discovery, XX Judgement, VII Chariot, 4 of Wands, Knight of Swords, XV Devil

Overwhelmingly, pile 3, I'm seeing that you're getting the green light to go ahead and embark on your next path. Notice all the teal color in your oracle cards? It's a popular color in hospitals as it provides a gentle contrast to healing that could be painful and frightening for patients. I initially imagined someone wading through a dark sewer only to approach the light of the other side. In the Understanding card, you can see that the hooded figure is walking over the stream and not in it. It's as if the bridge appeared out of nowhere. And the water looks pure and flowing smooth.

Something in your external world may be pushing you along to your next journey, whether or not you're entirely ready. What is it you would like to do, or where is it you would like to go next? I feel with the Judgement card, it's talking about a specific issue or event in your life. It's less a case of throwing darts to see what will stick and more of following the path that aligns with your true self. Your life is leading you to your life path with two thumbs up.

It's as if Judgement as a card represented an intersection, where many roads of various directions diverge into one area. You must put your turn signal on and indicate where you plan to proceed next. The sooner you can get clear on which road to take, the faster your next chapter will roll out. Just make sure you're using the right signal.

The biggest hurdle to overcome will be the ever present comfort zone. A comfort zone is not something to be fought. It's a necessary part of keeping up with the body and mind. Imagine constantly taking in novel material? That's what babies do, and they speak in gurgles 'cause they can hardly stand that everything is so new! It can be overwhelming.

People aren't always meant to push themselves to miserable exhaustion like Atlas just because a life of being more relaxed and certain seems boring and less fulfilling. But at the same time, we must learn to expand past what we know and love to something fresh and exciting. Whatever goal you're seeking to start or resolve, the light is green and you have the right of way. Spend time getting clear on your choices. But don't hold back anymore!

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

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just-a-girl-who-wrytes · 11 months

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Part 1.

“You’re safe here, we’re going to take good care of you,” Nikki spoke softly into the SWAT officer’s ear. “There’s going to be a lot going on, but we’re going to put you to sleep and get you straightened out.”

The trauma room was full of ER staff - doctor’s, nurses, respiratory, and just as many law enforcement officers were standing outside of the room as there were healthcare personnel in the room. Nikki normally worked in the ICU as a nurse, but their census was low so she got floated to the ER today. Not that she minded, it was her first home once she transitioned into the hospital from EMS.

In fact, her old partner had been the one to bring her the 48 year old SWAT Sergeant. Serving warrants had gone horribly wrong and landed him with a shattered femur, humerus, and a collapsed lung all due to gun fire. The ballistic vests that SWAT wore were the best of the best, but that didn’t protect them from the areas left uncovered - like the arm pit.

This was where David Kay had been struck. The AR round tore through his upper arm, mutilating his humerus, before tearing through his chest wall twice, and lodging itself in the armored plate on the inside of his vest.

His femur wasn’t much better from what Nikki had seen on the x-rays, but it was a more survivable wound than that in his chest. She wondered if this sergeant, who’s colleagues referred to as “Deacon” would pull through, but she also knew the trauma team on today was the best of the best and if anyone had a chance of surviving, it was under their care.

Two days later, Nikki returned to work, back to her home in the ICU. She were getting report from the nightshift nurse when she looked at his computer screen and noticed her patient’s name - David Kay. She were glad to see he had survived surgery. She had encountered line of duty deaths during her days as paramedic but that didn’t make them any easier. Per the off-going nurses report, David had remained intubated, but stable and was periodically needing blood transfusions simply due to the extent of his injuries.

The surgeons had given him a titanium femur and humerus to replace his obliterated ones and he had a chest tube in place as well. He was blessed that his heart was spared in the shooting - literally. He was on minimal sedation but heavy pain control, which in turn helped keep him sedated. The plan was to wean him off as much sedation and narcotics as he could tolerate and then trial to see if he was ready to have the breathing tube removed.

“David, wake up for me.” He heard a familiar voice say.

As David began coming around, a sudden jolt of pain woke him. Then he realized he was hurting everywhere - legs, arms, chest.

He winced.

“No, babe, you can’t pull at that.” The voice spoke again.

He felt a hand on each of his wrists, preventing him from pulling at this god awful tube in his mouth. He was grimacing, he could tell. This was all torture - being held down, the tube in his throat, the pain he felt every time he breathed in or out, and what else did he feel? A tube in his penis? He fought harder to free his wrists.

“David… Deacon, stop fighting us, babe. You’re safe. You’re in the hospital, your surgery went well.” There was that voice again. “We’re trying to get you off of the medicine so that we can get you off of the breathing machine, but in order to do that, I need you to relax and listen to me.”

David was still confused, but he knew that voice sounded like home. He was having trouble recollecting all of the events that transpired and landed him here, but one thing remained clear: this voice was the one speaking softly next to his ear when he was brought into the emergency room terrified and alone.

He knew he wasn’t alone, but everyone seemed so busy doing everything to take care of his physical body that no one took the time to take care of him emotionally and emotionally, he was a train-wreck. He was hurting, he felt helpless, he was terrified…. Yet, in the middle of the chaos of healthcare saving his life, this voice was the calm in the middle of his storm.

He relaxed under her commands and opened his eyes. Everything was blurry at first, but as his vision came into focus, the first person he laid eyes on was a 5’4” nurse. she had brown hair, eyes that seemed to look straight into his soul, and the most beautiful smile that appeared when she said “Hey, Deacon.”

This was her - this was who the voice belonged to and her physical appearance matched it so beautifully.

“All of your SWAT team has told us you go by Deacon. Is that right?”

He nodded and winced at the discomfort of the tubes down his throat.

“Deacon, my name is Nikki, I’m your nurse today. We’ve stopped the medicine that makes you sleepy to make sure you’re still with us. If this goes well, the goal will be to get this breathing tube out tomorrow.”

Deacon continued to hold her gaze.

“Now you’ve got a tube in your chest. It’s under your armpit. You had a collapsed lung so the tube is in the side of your chest to help your lung re-inflate. It is probably uncomfortable to breathe with, but do the best you can, okay?”

Deacon slightly nodded again.

He continued to listen to her speak. He followed her commands and winced through the pain of breathing on his own once the ventilator settings were switched so that he was able to breathe. The breathing test went well, but exhausted him. He welcomed the rest that accompanied the restart of sedation.

The following day, he was woken up again, except this time, they took the breathing tube out. It was a miserable, but short lived feeling. Thankfully, Nikki was by his side through the whole process, talking him through it.

In the following days, he looked forward to seeing his beautiful nurse. He had talked to her about when he came in and was starting to recall some of the events leading up to his current ICU stay. Despite the tragedy, her presence had such a calming effect on David. Maybe it was the way she eased the nerves of his parents when they came to visit after he was awake. Or maybe it was how she answered any questions his teammates threw at her without skipping a beat. She was smart and she knew her stuff. But more than that, David was at ease with her. He was crippled by his newfound immobility, but Nikki encouraged him to do all that he could. And he did. But, he still needed help with things like brushing his teeth or washing himself. In any other situation, David would have been nauseated at having to be given a bed bath, but until he had this chest tube removed and his arm and leg healed up, this was his reality. Nikki made it tolerable. He didn’t feel ashamed, embarrassed, or exposed as she helped clean the most intimate parts of him. She had a gentle touch and the way she made sure he was on clean sheets and in a clean gown reminded David of the comfort he found in his mother’s care as a boy.

Nikki was amazing at her job and it was very apparent that she loved what she did and cared for her patients just like she would her own family. Or was David different? He didn’t know, but he was definitely disappointed on the day he got moved from the intensive care unit to a step down unit and lost Nikki and her care.

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mewling-central · 2 months

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The Erelian Script has a very long history, stemming back thousands of years and across many cultures and another planet. There are eight notable stages of the development of Erelian writing that I'll go into detail about, as each stage marks a sharp change in the regular use of the script, as opposed to more gradual changes over time.

This is the development path for the Erelian letter A, which is pronounced as /ɑ/. It's one of the letters who's pronunciation has remained relatively consistent throughout time.

Pre-Proto-Seraphic Glyphs

The first glyphs recognized to carry semantic content. These first glyphs were ideograms, used mostly for labeling, inventory, religious rites, supernatural charms, and other simpler uses. They would've been etched into stone or painted using dyes made of local plants or animal blood. This glyph specifically would've conveyed the meaning of "all" or "whole", depicting a jar or cauldron with a lid on top.

Old Proto-Seraphic Bark Etchings

As writing was developing more, and glyphs becoming more complicated, the glyphs began to drift away from ideograms and logograms and make use of more phonetic elements. This glyph was used for the word "whole", but also represented the glottal stop /ʔ/ when used phonetically. Proto-Seraphic writing began to be written on the dried bark of paper tree, etched into the bark and dyed by way of similar tanning processes used for animal hides. This paper was more fragile than stone, but much easier to replace and less time-consuming. As it went into regular use, the seraphim found it inconvenient to hold the very long strips of paper in the usual horizontal fashion, reading right-to-left and top-to-bottom in reverse boustrophedon and constantly turning it on its side when writing, so they began to read it at a perpendicular angle going from right-to-left to bottom-to-top

Proto-Seraphic Writing

At some point, the Proto-Seraphic culture migrated from further in the continent towards a vast group of islands and coasts. Since they did not regularly practice agriculture, and paper trees did not produce seeds, they could not bring their original writing commodity with them. Thus they began using a thing stylus called a hwituyáw to make impressions into wet clay, which they would then either let dry or bake to make more permanent. The writing system changed in the following millenia to accommodate this, largely abandoning logograms and maintaining a majorly phonetic system, with a few exceptions remaining for lexical use. As Proto-Seraphic culture grew and advanced, and trade with foreign powers became more necessary, writing became a much more prevalent thing in society. A majority of late Proto-Seraphic writing comes from this period in history on surviving tablets, inscriptions on buildings, and earthenware. This glyph took on the role of the glottal stop /ʔ/, as well as the vowel /ɑ/.

Old Seraphic Writing

With the large amount of influence Seraphic culture took from surrounding cultures, they soon gained access to brush and pulp paper, and use of it was considered a symbol of the elite. At this point, the writing started to become much more fluid and rounded, and many stylistic variants are produced. The Soverign Conquest contributes to the spread of Seraphic language and culture across much of the world, and many languages adopt the Seraphic alphabet. At this point, Proto-Seraphic transitions into Old Seraphic.

Ealry Aeonic Seraphic Alphabet

This variety stems from the early industrial revolution. Brushwork largely falls out of use in favor of pigment and ink sticks, similar to pencils and pens. The forms become much more rounded and simplified, and variants begin to standardize to this form. As literacy becomes more prevalent in Seraphic society, and more and more people are expected to be literate, the writing system undergoes several spelling reforms, introducing things such as diacritics.

Aeonic Seraphic Alphabet

During the technological revolution, as Seraphic transitions fully into Aeonic Seraphic, the letters become fully standardized. Aeonic Seraphic becomes the lingua franca for much of the Homeworld, and these forms remain consistent throughout much of the Celestial Revolution which marks the seraph race's beginnings as an interplanetary species. Aeonic Seraphic is carried over as a continuing lingua franca to their first planetary colony; Erel.

Old Erelian Alphabet

Due to Erel's population being largely separate from the Homeworld, the language naturally begins to shift into its own dialect, and eventually language. As the Collective adopts the Collective Seraphic script, Erelian continues to use the native Aeonic Seraphic script which develops further and further as the Erelian culture and identity becomes more solid. The shape becomes less round and more linear to match the aesthetic of the Collective Seraphic Script.

Modern Erelian Alphabet

The alphabet finally takes its final form, becoming much more linear and simplified to accomodate smaller text sizes. Many other newer languages and dialects will adopt either the Collective Seraphic script or the Erelian script to accommodate them.

#conscript #constructed script #neography #conlang #constructed language #erelian

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siriusly-sapphic · 9 months

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thoughts on nobleflower i need to know i have so much in my brain

Oh oh oh! Yes!

Okay so I'm a little sick and my thoughts about anything Narcissa femslash related are usually already all over the place so? Bear with me while I type this on my phone?

First: let me establish the specific setting. Since I tend to mess about with Narcissa's age a little depending on the ship bc the canon Black family tree is a right mess that I've decided I can do whatever I want with. For alicissa tho, I tend to just go with Narcissa being 4/5 years older than the marauders, and Alice being like a year older than Narcissa.

And as for any Narcissa headcanon I have, I'm writing this with the idea of trans!narcissa in mind, though it works very similarly if you imagine her as cis. If you want more context for how I see trans!narcissa in canon compliant settings, I have a 7K meta post here but it's not necessary for this (I just like linking it).

Also we're going with some canon compliancy here. No happy endings today.

So.

Alicissa is one of those ships that, for me, starts out genuinely cute. Like... dorcissa starts out as denial and rivalry, narlily can end cute but starts messy. Alicissa starts sweet. It starts hopeful.

It starts in an icecream shop.

I'd say it starts the summer before Narcissa's 5th year, which is the time I headcanon she comes out as trans and has begun her transition. Which means 1. She is quite terrified of making 'another' mistake to embarrass her family and 2. The scariest moments of her life have just been blasted over Witch Weekly and the Daily Prophet. She is scared, she's being very brave about it, and she gets mean when she's nervous. (Well. Meaner than usual.)

Alice has a type of girl she loves and that type is brave and mean and a little sassy.

So you know, when Narcissa comes into Florean Fortescue's, ignores all the stares she gets, and gets snappy when Alice teases her about mint-chocolate chip being the worst flavour to order.... what choice does she really have except to fall in love right then and there?

And I think on Narcissa's side, developing any crush on a girl will always come with a bit of angst. Because from the moment she transitions, she has a very clear path in mind of what to do and what to be in order to make her family proud of them again. (I could go into more detail, but honestly for that if you're interested see the meta linked above.) And dating girls... not a part of that plan.

But she wants to.

And Alice makes it easier to be brave.

They're prefects in different years and different houses and they're good at keeping secrets and Narcissa can get Kingsley, the head boy, to move the prefect schedule so that she and Alice have rounds together. (She knows that Kingsley's into Rodolphus Lestrange like no other, and like I said. She can be a little mean.)

And I think that for that first year. The first two years, even, when they’re still at school and life hasn't gotten quite so tainted with war yet? They're happy. And they're cute. And it feels good. Like it can last.

It can't. Obviously.

One headcanon is that Narcissa starts struggling in school bc yknow she's going through some shit, and maybe there's a subject or two she's never been a natural at and is now falling behind in, and it just so happens that Alice is really good at that. So they can meet publicly in the library while Alice tutors her and Narcissa struggles to get over her embarrassment for needing a tutor.

Narcissa has only ever missed one quidditch game (she hates the game, but her best friends are the Lestrange brothers (oh yes that gets painful later) and they play on the team, sonshe has to go). That's the game Alice convinces her to come into the Gryffindor common room while everyone is gone and they make out in front of the fireplace.

They almost get caught. Narcissa avoids her for about a week. They never take that risk again.

And then the war. Alice graduates first, and I see her as being quite determined to make a difference in the war and unsure how to do it. Obviously the Order is a very secret organisation, and she doesn't know about it immediately, so she becomes an auror.

That's also where she meets her future husband Frank Longbottom (bless that man).

Meanwhile Narcissa is a seventh year, her best friends are losing their parents and are drowning in it and she is trying to balance NEWTs and helping the Lestrange twins and the ever important thing of Not Disappointing Her Parents (Again).

I think, however unjustly so, she starts blaming it on Alice for leaving. Which is obviously not actually Alice's fault bc that's just how gradustion works, but it's easier to blame a girl with who it never could've worked out (and maybe shouldn't have worked out as long as it did), than it is to realise that this is just a shitty collection of circumstances. Or worse, to blame her family. She can never blame her family. (She feels she owes her family too much to blame them)

So by the time Narcissa graduates, she's planning an engagement with Rabastan Lestrange that will fall through soon enough and she hasn't told Alice about yet. Alice, at that point, is an auror who's working together with Frank and feels so very betrayed when she does find out about Narcissa's engagement.

It's one of those things that has always been inevitable. But that Alice couldn't help but secretly hope wouldn't happen anyway.

And I think that's where it goes wrong.

Because Alice tells her not to marry Rabastan, around the same time that Rabastan is trying very hard to destroy everything good in his life because grief isn't kind, and Narcissa is the best damn thing to have happened to him. Druella Black ("you should do better than a miserable second son"), Alice Fortescue ("just get away from all of it"), and Rabastan Lestrange ("why are we bothering anyway?") himself, all tell her to break off an engagement that brought her SO much joy when it became reality.

And so Narcissa decides to hate all of them for it.

Except she can’t. Obviously. But she decides she does anyway.

Because Druella is still the mother she wants to be proud of her, and Rabastan is still her best friend who she wants to protect, and Alice is still the first person she ever really fell in love with. She can’t hate them. But she wants to.

But I think that strains alicissa's relationship a lot. Because it shows that Narcissa isn't just mean, she can be cruel and delusional. And it makes it clear that it doesn’t really matter how much Narcissa loves Alice (because she does. She really does.) Because as brave as Narcissa can be, she's a scared young woman who seeks to protect herself. And protecting herself in pureblood society means marrying a suitable pureblood wizard. It doesn’t mean running away with a halfblood witch and hoping life turns out alright.

Narcissa has always protected herself by planning ahead and following her plan. Alice doesn’t fit into that. And Alice isn't the type of woman who will wait around to see if Narcissa's plans change.

So when Narcissa gets engaged to Lucius Malfoy, and her happy and perfect smile is all over the Daily Prophet, Alice accepts Frank's invitation for a date.

And for a while that's that.

There's some looks, because Frank is a Longbottom and while he's on his way to become a traitor, his great aunt was a Black and he still gets invited to notable pureblood events. Not for long, but long enough. There are some strained conversations and longing glances and even, once or twice, guilt-ridden hookups when their respective husbands are out.

Alice feels a whole lot more terrible about that than Narcissa does. She loves Frank. I swear she does.

Alice is a renowned auror and joins the Order and is a genuine danger to any death eater who comes her way. Narcissa is terrified every day that her husband might die at her lover's hands — or god forbid the other way around.

Alice grows to hate Narcissa during that war. Because how dare she attend charity galas to safekeep the victims of a war, when she damn well knows it's her friends and family waging that war. The hypocrisy and the cruelty too much.

Alice likes her women brave and a little mean. Not cowardly and cruel.

They become mothers around the same time. Two months apart. When they’re both pregnant, they see each other occasionally in the same maternity shops and healer waiting rooms. There's a kinship there and this very strong desire for a closer bond, that ultimately can't withstand the hatred and the mistrust that the war and Narcissa's choices have brought upon them.

And then the war is over.

Narcissa and Lucius manage to escape any time in azkaban. Alice and Frank can finally settle and mourn their loved ones. All four of them can look at these beautiful young boys in their arms and hope with all their might that their lives will be easier.

(It’s unclear when the attack on the Longbottoms happened. We know it happened after the war, and we know it happened when people had just begun feeling safe again. We know there was enough time for Crouch sr to start greying by the time the Lestranges were put on trial.)

But that wrecks Narcissa.

I wanna say that Alice and Narcissa stopped actively seeing each other when the war ended. Alice doesn't want to have an affair when she is genuinely happily married and she has a son. Maybe she's trying for a second child.

But Narcissa’s best friends in the world. The family I tend to describe as "what the Potters and James were to Sirius, the Lestranges and Rodolphus were to Narcissa". And her sister. Two of whom knew just how fucking important Alice Fortescue was to Narcissa, once upon a time.

I genuinely don't think Narcissa believed it, when the Lestranges were first accused of that crime. I don't think she wanted to believe them capable of it. And when it turned out to be true.... I have so many thoughts about that connection I could fill another and longer post. But it wrecks her.

Narcissa only visits Alice once.

It's under the guise of "seeing what her sister has done, to put it behind her". Augusta Longbottom is there, in absolute pieces because her only son is gone. Neville is there, Draco's age. Alice doesn't recognise her. Narcissa thinks it might be better that way.

Narcissa just really doesn't belong there. And she doesn't belong there because of her own choices, her own mistakes. And I think that realisation breaks her even further.

Only one of them remembere what they used to be, and Narcissa selfishly wishes that it wasn't her.

Okay and this is getting long so. The rest is just little moments of pain. Draco writing home about how stupid this Longbottom kid is? The absolute guilt of knowing her darling boy is bullying the son of the woman Narcissa loved most? Post war, when maybe Neville is old enough to want to know more about Alice and find out that there aren’t many people alive who remember Alice when she was young. But Narcissa does.

And don't even get me started on the Lestranges escaping Azkaban. That's agony right there. I have no time. But also I have SO many thoughts and all of them heard more than the other so one day I'll inflict them on others.

This became so long I'm sorry lmao, but I hope you like the thoughts. This is why happier fix it AUs exists.

#alicissa #alice longbottom #narcissa malfoy #harry potter #hp femslash #marauders era #nobleflower #alice fortescue #narcissa black #my headcanons #headcanons #marauders fandom #answered asks #pomegranatepetrichord

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spacelazarwolf · 2 years

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sometimes i wonder if it would be easier to see myself as a man if i was thin. every photo i see if “sexy men” or “transition goals” is of thin men. all the passing tips i see rely on having a thin body that can be camouflaged. but i can’t hide my body. i’ve spent my entire life trying. but it is literally just too big to hide. my hips and stomach are too big to squeeze into shape wear to “create a streamlined silhouette.” even after getting top surgery, i still can’t find shirts that fit because i either have to get them large enough to fit my stomach and hips which makes them huge on my shoulders, or i have to wear high waisted pants to tuck in the part of the shirt that literally won’t button up which emphasizes my rounded hips and stomach. it’s something i wish people considered when they talk about “passing” in regards to trans men. even if there is some amount of redistribution of fat, i will still not have the straight up and down, streamlined shape a man is “supposed to” have. idk it just makes me wonder if i’ll ever truly be able to see myself as a man.

#trans #trans man #trans community #queer #transmasc #trans masc

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antirqlacey · 4 months

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Oh hi! I’m an anti rq with atypical dysphoria too! I got age dysphoria as well as species dysphoria, I hate that RQs think that you have to try and “transition” when there are other ways soothe dysphoria (eg. Age dysphoric = age regression, species dysphoric = fur suit paw gloves/boots etc.) without being racist, ableist and all round gross.

I hope you have a wonderful day ^w^

HELLO!! i also have age dysphoria and species dysphoria along with another type of atyp dysphoria that i’m not sure what to call it hsbsbs but i agree that “transitioning” shouldn’t be the 1# way to soothe dysphoria .. my ways of soothing are mainly age regression + dreaming , ocs,and chronosian terms and as for species i like to talk about my desired species with my friends (mainly all of them are nonhumans which makes it much easier to soothe my dysphoria) ^^

I HOPE U HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY TOO !! :3

#anti radqueer #anti rq #anti transabled #anti transx #anti radshit #fuck radqueers #anti prat #anti trace #anti transid #anti 🍓🌈

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no-luscinia-no-amore · 6 months

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Hi!!! I really love your snake Crowley plush and I want to make a similar one both as A Friend and also as like, a mini weighted blanket type thing to drape over myself when I'm anxious. Did you use a pattern for him?

Hellloooooo! I am unbelievably delighted that my snake child is so beloved!!! First, I have definitely been cuddling with him as a weighted blanket snek and honestly the snakey form is sssso much better than a blanket imo because he's A Wiggly Friend rather than just a big suffocating warm thing. Highly recommended!

Second, no I did not use a pre existing pattern, but I can tell you what I did and if the instructions are too vague I can (try to) write a real one up to share! I am kinda an intuitive (lmao, messy) knitter in that I hate fixing mistakes so I just integrate any I make into the project and let whatever happens guide the process but there was a method which emerged eventually.

This is LONG. But here we go:

Here's the yarn I used. Total, 120ish (maybe 160??) yd of super bulky for his belly and 4 skeins of 2 strands held together (total 450ish yd?) of a bulky worsted for his back. It was on sale? Definitely go bulky as you can manage, otherwise you'll be at this forever. If I was rich I would have held together a strand of silk blend black with the plain superwash for a pretty glistening look but whatever

Cascade yarn is the best mid grade superwash ever.

I like the look of held together yarn for contrast against the belly, makes the black stitches look more scaled and have a softer drape but whatever, if you hate holding strands together and prefer a more overall bulky look, use super bulky all over. Bernat is cheaper than wool for sure too.

I knitted his belly first, using US 13/9mm needles and K stitch. I was doing a snake crowley glove project at the same time and knitting them in the round half black half red. It SUCKED and was unmanageable. I hate colourwork. So, tummy first to establish length because it's easier to rip out if I make a horrible mistake. That happened a lot as he kept getting longer and longer and I tried to do increases without looking while watching much ado about nothing and ...etc

The top was knitted in stockinette with 10.5/6mm needles directly onto his belly, by sliding the last black stitch of the row onto the right needle, picking up a red stitch from the first row available of the belly, moving the black stick back over to the left above the red stitch, and then k or p2tog in stockinette. I always picked up the red stitch knitwise because I'm lazy.

It sounds way more complicated than it is, but you must 1) know what your stitches look like so you consistently pick up the same one each row and 2) be careful not to skip a belly row, since it'll end up crooked and janky if you skip one or accidentally pick up twice from the same row (bulky, lighter colour, knit stitch all helped a lot here! Do the belly first!)

This made the cool effect of stippling at the transition and meant I didn't have to sew anything together ever but it also made stuffing him HELL ON WHEELS since it was a 6+ ft tube already by the time I stuffed (I'll explain stuffing at the end)

If you do this, use circulars. Easier to deal with all the twisting and chaos once you're 3 feet in. You can just knit the sections separately and baste them at the end OR only knit them together on one side and baste the other at the end oh godammit why didn't I do that

Ok, back to the belly.

Here's a closer look at the bottom of his snoot;

You can see I'm a messy increaser lmao. I did the increases in the middle so there would be a throat look, I think? That was a long time ago when I thought he would be about 4 feet of snek. Anyway, start with a small amount of stitches (looks like I was at 3?) increase row by row for the eye socket/jaw part, and then decrease after a few rows. Sometimes I knit a few rows to see what I'm working with, then trace what I have and sketch out the rest of the shape/size I'm aiming for. I did not do that here, just increased until it looked like the width I wanted and then knit a couple rows before decreasing a little for his neck.

Except snakes don't really have necks, but whatever. You should think of the belly as the BASE of the whole thing. Don't get clever trying to increase and decrease too much for shaping, I did that and it was hell when making the top. Find a stitch width past the head part which seems cuddly/about 1/3 of the total round shape you'll want to end up with after stuffing and knit that for a million years until you've attached your last red skein.

I started decreasing for his tail to end up being 1/4 of his total length. You'll be obsessively measuring the whole time because making him takes forever, so do math or just decide "its tail time!"

Just k2tog at the second to last stitch on the needle (because remember, you'll be picking up the last stitch for the top!) an odd number of rows at a time. This is where it's hard to really write a pattern because those red stitches are hidden by the construction! Ultimately, after 4-5 ft of the belly you should be familiar with your gauge and know how many stitches will make a smooth transitional taper. If you oops and decrease too many times on the same edge creating a weird angle, who cares. You'll be hiding so many sins with the top part. Once you're down to 5 stitches or so, switch to circulars or dpns and make as long of an icord as feels right to you, decreasing at some point to bind off your cord with a final total of 2 stitches.

Ok, top part. Decide which side of the belly is the inside! Or wait to see what you end up with like I did lmao.

I picked up the red snoot stitches instead of casting on and started knitting with the black yarn in reverse stockinette. Actually I changed my mind about 5 rows in to his snoot which side was going to face out, but whatever. Same thing, stockinette stitch. After 5ish rows of knitting black stitches, picking up the red stitch and knitting them together in pattern, switch stockinette directions (knit two rows, then purl, then knit etc) so his snoot is snooty.

Ok real talk, what I actually did for his head was, first, I just picked up red stitches and knitted them in pattern WITHOUT reducing to account for them, because I wanted the top curve of his head and body to be larger than the belly. Picking up without k2tog will increase each row by 1 stitch!

Then, once it was obviously a bit larger, what I did for picking up the red stitches at his mouth without increasing was:

k2tog the second and third to last black stitches, move last stitch over, pick up red stitch, move black stitch back, knit the black stitch, knit the red stitch. This looks different than the body, as you can see here:

Head has black stitches interlaced with red, body just has red stitches stippling the transition. If you like the snaggly toothy look, do it that way for his face I guess! Or make it not look like trash, expecting nobody will ever see it up close but you! Lmao

I added some wrong way stitches to mark where his eyes would go (as eyebrows!) but if you don't have a good sense of how the head is coming together don't do that.

Follow along your belly increases while knitting/attaching the top, more or less. No need to mark exactly when increase/decreases happened, just try to keep the width of the back a little wider than the belly. You can increase by just not k2tog the red stitch you pick up! When you decrease, do that with the second and third stitches of the row instead of at the end, so you don't end up with a mess of k2togs always clustered together.

Also don't be stupid like I was and decide to just go nuts increasing and then frantically have to decrease unless you want him to be randomly fat in the middle ok?

Ok stuffing.

Ideally you sew his eyes on first. If you want to wait until his head is stuffed, just know you'll be trapped in the hell that I was and be VERY CAREFUL that you don't stab through the bead tube.

Start stuffing around 4-5 feet in (OR ONLY ATTACH HIM ON ONE SIDE whatever! I am so annoyed I only just NOW figured that out but I didn't have to sew anything but his eyes I GUESS) It will be impossible to travel with him after this and will make it hard to manage the turning of stockinette but anything is better than stuffing a 7ft tube. I used about 7lb of poly beads but only you know how heavy you want him.

I cut the legs off 2 pairs of tights (4 long tubes) poured just the beads into 2 of them, and mixed beads with stuffing into the other 2. Tightly tie off the open tops! Or sew them but...why

If you don't care about seeing the stuffing through the stitches, then intersperse stuffing around and between your tubes of beads. If you do care, gods be with you because I rolled the stuffing up into a very long piece of velvet and shoved it in there but nope, nobody should do that. I don't know why they don't make black poly stuffing.

His eyes are 48mm vintage buttons so I can't give you a link for them. If you're trying to make a similar sized snake fren you'll probably want to use 35mm-50mm. Nobody sells large enough safety/snap eyes in yellow cat eyes, as far as I can tell after searching for a couple of weeks :(

OK THAT'S ALL tell me if you want better close ups or anything or if you'd like this in a real pattern?? I have never written a pattern. But I might in the name of snekCrowleys for the world!

#snake!crowley #knitted snek #sorta a pattern #q&a #good omens fanart #fiber fanart

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kuwdoravids · 5 months

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Year in Vidding Review: 2023

Year-end round-up/meme: 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

April What (Yennefer of Vengerberg) The Witcher Netflix Making of "What" commentary: do it for the process (and for Yennefer!) The Witcher Netflix Mr. Brightside (Jaskier/Geralt/Yennefer) The Witcher Netflix

June Skipping Stones (Fringilla Vigo) The Witcher Netflix

August In Our Wake (Vilgefortz/Geralt) The Witcher Netflix

December [Festivid Assignment] - redacted until reveals! [Festivid Treat] - redacted until reveals!

Review questions under the cut.

Random process notes:

Well, I have been kidding for *counts* 16 years now?? I guess I kind of know what I’m doing when I have a good idea of what a vid is like inside my head. Which is why most of these vids took less than a week to make and none of them were on my actual to-make list that I had written down at the beginning of the year. Flighty ADHD/anxiety brain just latching onto the feelings of the moment and zooming across the timeline until I can call it done. I think I started two non-witcher vids during the year before Festivids but the witcher hyperfixation remains too strong. Everything else falling to the WIP piles. I tried to finish my Moonhaven vid but couldn’t focus. Tried to finish my Green Knight and Blade vids but no, my brain was more interested in writing +70k of fic this year, aha.

Overall thoughts:

HEY I made Festivid stuff! I can vid-non Witcher things! I was really worried there that my brain was just forever stuck on Witcher but! I did it.

Anyway. I really love vidding The Witcher Netflix and keep building up my clip gallery for easy reference for when I can settle in for the next witcher vid. I keep fuck up my exports though because I’m doing everything too quickly and not paying enough attention. So there’s some export-related things and a few minor clips I would have changed if I weren’t caught up in a in a rush. But overall I’m very, very happy with my crop of vids this year.

Favorite Vid:

Most of the time I have upwards of 8-16 vids a year and it’s easier to pick a favorite. When I do so few… they’re all my favorite. For different reasons.

For my Yennefer vid it’s my favorite editing.

For Mr. Brightside it’s my favorite song choice and tone (this is a cover in the style of The B-52s) for Jaskier.

My Fringilla vid — it’s my favorite thing that came together from all of the season footage of her character from seasons 1 and 2 and the song just makes me so happy that it tied everything together for her.

For the Vilgefortz/Geralt vid, oh it’s my favorite because it’s my pure id, heh, and my favorite build/pacing of all my vids.

My festivids are my favorite because I have been wanting to make things them for awhile now but hadn’t had the focus. And then I did!

Hardest to make:

The only thing that was hard was me exporting shitty stuff and not realizing it until days or weeks after I uploaded and crossposted. Anyway. I took my time with my festivid exports so those should look pretty good. Most successful:

They are all successful in my heart. I love them.

My best vid:

Probably my Fringilla or Vilgefortz/Geralt vid. I’m so happy how they turned out.

Most fun vid:

Mr. Brightside. I love playing with Jaskier’s humor with the song choice and the transitions.

Things I learned in 2023:

Mmm, I am still worked up about my fic WIPs and life anxieties that I wasn’t able to do more vidding things that I wanted. As for the projects themselves, I learned that it’s very handy to have a standing clip gallery all labelled and ready for when I want to make my next Witcher Netflix vid.

In 2024:

I always want to be ambitious in the new year but always end up wandering in completely unexpected directions. In any case I would love to finish my Moonhaven vid and get my brain in order to find the last of the Black Sails source I need for a vid idea that has been eating my brain for 4 months now. I also have my Philippa Eilhart Witcher vid I want to make as well as a season 3 Witcher Netflix vid too that’s taking up space in my brain.

#year end fanvid review #fanvids #fanvid #fanvideo #fan fanvid #vidding #vids #vid meme #vidder introspection #fringilla vigo #yennefer #the witcher netflix #geraskefer #jaskier

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krisluxxeeempress · 5 months

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DECEMBER 11TH - DECEMBER 18TH, 2023 | PREDICTIVE VEDIC ASTROLOGY

Full Report Available on Youtube Members & Patreon. Weekly Planetary Placements & Aspects Predictions , Full Moon & New Moon Reports Included. (I Focus On Squares & Oppositions)

Sidereal, Placidus, 5AM, New York, New York

Software: Astroseek.com & Astro Gold

Artwork: By Me. . .

( warning: i have dominant Aquarius placements, i thoroughly enjoy typing in all caps. excuse me ! )

As Of December 11th, 2023 ( Mini Report)

Lilith RX: Cancer (26) 9th House

AS PROMISED, LILITH IS MAKING HER ROUNDS. LAST WEEK LILITH WAS RX IN LEO 10TH HOUSE, AND AT THE TIME IT WAS CLEAR TO ME THAT YOU WERE BEING ENERGETICALLY VIOLATED AND BULLIED AND PROTECTIVE FORCES WERE BEING ACTIVATED AND ACTING ON YOUR BEHALF. PERSONALLY, ONE OF MY PROTECTIVE FORCES IS LILITH, THE QUEEN- HERSELF. WE ALL KNOW CANCERIAN ENERGY IS ASSOCIATED WITH BEING THE MOTHER AND ANY GOOD MOTHER IS LOVING, NURTURING BUT FIERCELY PROTECTIVE OF HER BABIES. MY INTUITIVE INTERPRETATION IS FURTHER CONFIRMED WITH CANCERIAN PROTECTIVE ENERGY IN THE 9TH HOUSE WHERE GOD CARRIES OUT SPIRITUAL BUSINESS. TO BE CLEAR, GOD’S CHOSEN PEOPLE ARE FIERCELY PROTECTED AT THIS TIME AND ANYTIME. PLEASE NOTE THAT WITH PROTECTION COMES REJECTION AND SO DURING THIS TIME YOU MAY EXPERIENCE SOME OR A LOT OF REJECTION. THIS REJECTION CAN OUTWARDLY APPEAR TO BE HURTFUL, AN INCONVIENCE, AND OR UNCOMFORTABLE BUT IF YOU ARE ABLE TO SEE THINGS AT A HIGHER PERSPECTIVE WITH TRUST, EVERYTHING LITTLE THING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT- BOB MARLEY VIBES.

IC: Aquarius (9) 4th House

CONSIDERING WHAT WAS JUST MENTIONED WITHIN THE LILITH RX IN CANCER 9TH HOUSE PLACEMENT, WITH REGARDS TO BEING TEMPORARILY HELD BACK FOR PROTECTION, IN ADDITION TO BEING FORCED/GUIDED TO STAY HOME AS A RESULT. I ALSO MENTIONED HOW GOD, AND YOUR SPIRIT FAMILY KNEW IN ADVANCE WHAT WAS UP AHEAD BEFORE YOU AND TO NOT TAKE THIS TEMPORARY SET BACK AS A FORM OF PUNISHMENT, THOUGH IT MAY FEEL THAT WAY. YOUR FAITH IS BEING TESTED FOR SURE HOWEVER, IN THE MEANTIME WHY NOT FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO? LIKE A KID ON PUNISHMENT OR JUST SIMPLY NOT ALLOWED TO GO OUTSIDE FOR WHATEVER REASON THEIR PARENTS DIDN’T DISCLOSE, THEY USUALLY FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO TO ENTERAIN THEMSELVES. WITH THE IC IN AQUARIUS, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE BEING ENCOURAGED TO DO BECAUSE BY DOING SO, YOU WILL FIND A NEW GIFT, TALENT, INTEREST AKA. YOUR HIDDEN GENIUS. THE IC IS HIDDEN, AS IS THE 4TH HOUSE. BOTH OF WHICH DEAL DIRECTLY WITH OUR ANCESTRAL ROOTS, GENETICS, REAL ESTATE, VALUE, FOUNDATIONS, MOTHERS AND YOUTH. WITH THE IC IN AQUARIUS, RULED BY URANUS, THIS ALL INDICATES HIGH LEVEL OF GENIUS’ AND INTUITION.

Vertex: Aquarius (11) 8th House

THE VERTEX IS ABOUT DESTINY AND FATE. MOST MISTAKENLY BELIEVE IN FREE WILL AND WITH THAT THINK THEY ARE IN CONTROL AND FIGHT HARD TO OBSTRUCT YOUR DESTINY. THIS TRANSIT IS INTERESTING BECAUSE AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED, THE VERTEX DEALS WITH FATE AND IT’S IN AQUARIUS, THE SAME SIGN THAT THE IC IS IN. THE SMALL DIFFERENCE IS THE FACT THAT THE IC IN AQUARIUS WAS IN THE 1ST DECAN THAT URANUS IN ADDITION TO BEING INTROVERTED. WHEN YOU ARE INTROVERTED, ISOLATED AND ALONE- IT’S MUCH EASIER TO NOTICE THE DETAILS. DETAILS ARE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT! NOW, THE VERTEX IN AQUARIUS IS AT 11 DEGREES, WHERE THE INTELLECT IS MORE EXTROVERTED AND RESTLESS. I MENTIONED WITH THE IC IN AQUARIUS, TO ALWAYS BE PLUGGED INTO YOUR CRAFT, TECHNOLOGY AND WHATEVER FIELD URANUS RULES TO ENSURE YOU ARE CONSTANTLY CHARGED UP. WELL, THE VERTEX IN AQUARIUS IS EXTROVERTED AND THIS IS COMPARABLE TO HAVING A PHONE OR LAPTOP AND FORGETTING THE CHARGER. AT SOME POINT, THE TECHNOLOGY WILL DIE AND YOU DO NOT HAVE YOUR CHARGER. FOR THIS VERY REASON, THIS IS WHY YOU WILL BEGAIN, FOR SOME, TO HAVE A SHOCKING CHANGE IN YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION AS CONFIRMED WITH THE IC IN AQUARIUS 4TH HOUSE. PEOPLE WILL BE REALIZING THIS WEEK THAT THEY NEED YOU AS YOU ARE THEIR CHARGE.

Descendant: Aries (27) 7th House

I HAD JUST MENTIONED WITHIN THE VERTEX IN AQAURIUS 8TH HOUSE PLACEMENT, HOW DESTINY HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN ACTIVATED. THERE WILL BE SOME AT THIS PROFOUND TIME WHO WILL BE EXPERIENCE MAGIC AND EXPERIENCING ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES WHEREAS OTHERS WILL BE EXPERIENCING HELL. TO GET A FULL GRASPS AS TO WHY SOME WILL BE WITNESSING MAGIC OR HELL, I HAVE TO REFER BACK TO LAST WEEK, BRIEFLY. ENERGY FLOWS, NOTHING JUST HAPPENS. LAST WEEK, THE DESCENDANT WAS IN ARIES BUT AT 12 DEGREES THAT MARS RULES. DURING THAT TYPE, THERE WERE SOME PEOPLE BEGINNING TO FEEL THE TEMPATURE AND PRESSURE RISING, ESPECIALLY IN RELATION TO OTHERS. YOU, OR OTHERS MAY HAVE STARTED TO FEEL OVERWHELMED, DEFEATED AND LIKE YOUR BACK WAS BEING PUSHED UP AGAINGST THE WALL. EVERY TURN YOU MADE, WAS MET WITH OPPOSITION. YOU, OR OTHERS FELT LIKE THEIR IDENTITY WAS BEING THREATENED AND AS A RESULT YOU, OR OTHERS WERE BEGINNING TO FEEL PARANOID AND LIKE YOU COULDN’T TRUST ANYONE, BECOMING MORE SECLUDED AND CLOSED OFF. YOU, OR OTHERS WERE STARTING TO FEEL DEPLEATED ENERGETICALLY AND AGAIN, INCREASINGLY UNTRUSTING OF OTHERS. DUE TO THIS UNTRUSTWORTHINESS YOU OR OTHERS WERE INADVERTENTLY PUTTING YOURSELF IN A CAGE, BECOMING NARROW MINDED, CALCULATING AND EITHER EXTREMELY REGLIIOUS OR SPIRITUAL TO IT’S DETRIMENT.

Ascendant: Libra (27) 1st House

IN PURE LIBRA FASHION, THIS TRANSIT CAN PLAY OUT PEACEFULLY OR VIOLENTLY. THE REASON BEING, THE ASCENDANT IS EXTREMELY INFLUENCED BY THE DESCENDANT, AND AS DISCUSSED WITHIN THE DESCENDANT IN ARIES 7TH HOUSE PLACEMENT- SOME MAY BE FEELING OVERWHELMED, PRESSURED AND LIKE THEIR IDENTITY IS BEING THREATENED WHICH WILL USUALLY RESULT IN ANGER OUTBURST OR WORSE, VIOLENCE. AS FOR THOSE WHERE THE ASCENDANT PLAYS OUT PEACEFULLY, THIS IS DUE TO RELEASING WHATEVER TENSION, CONTROL, ANIMOSITY, BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT THAT YOU MAY HAVE BEEN HOLDING ONTO. THE DESCENDANT IN ARIES IN THE 7TH HOUSE IS REVEALING THE NEED TO BE IN CONTROL, ESPECIALLY IN RELATIONS WITH OTHERS. ONLY THE WISE KNOW YOU CANNOT CONTROL ANYONE OR CIRCUMSTANCE EXCEPT YOURSELF. YOU WILL LOSE YOUR MIND AND BEARING THE MOMENT YOU TRY TO CONTROL ANYTHING AND ANYONE BUT YOURSELF AND UNFORTUNATELY, SOME MAY INDEED, LOSE THEY MIND WITH THE ASCENDANT IN LIBRA BECAUSE THEY CANNOT CONTROL ANOTHER PERSON OR PEOPLE. YOU CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE ACT HOW YOU WANT, SAY WHAT YOU WANT OR BE WHO YOU WANT AND YET- THIS IS WHY SOME PEOPLE DURING THIS TRANSIT WILL BE MAD, BIG MAD.

Midheaven: Leo (9) 10th House

A CHOICE NEEDED TO BE MADE WITH THE DESCENDANT IN ARIES AND ASCENDANT IN LIBRA. PERSONALLY, I CHOSE PEACE, LOVE AND HAPPIENESS AND SO FROM THIS POINT FORWARD THAT WILL BE ALL I AM FOCUSING ON. THE HIGH AND BEAUTIFUL VIBRATIONS. THE MIDHEAVEN IN LEO CONFIRMS SUCH CONSIDERING LEO ENERGY IS ALL ABOUT ATTENTION, ENERGY, HEALING, GROWTH, EXPRESSION AND CREATIVITY. WHERE YOUR ENERGY GOES IS WHERE IT GROWS AND IN THE 10TH HOUSE,OF BUSINESS, CAREER, REPUTATION, SOCIAL STATUS, POWER, AND FAME- THAT’S WHERE SOME OF YOU ARE CHOSING TO EXERT YOUR ENERGY INTO. I KEEP HEARING FROM THE GRAPE VINE, “ STANDING ON BUSINESS” AND I SUPPOSE THIS TRANSIT IS INFLUECING SUCH A SAYING THAT IS POPULAR. WITH THAT BEING SAID, THIS TRANSIT CAN INDICATE POPULARITY, ATTENTION, ADMIRATION AND NOTERIATY IN WHATEVER CAREER FIELD YOU ARE IN. BRIEFLY, THIS WILL ATTRACT HATERS AND ENEMIES BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER FOCUSED ON THAT NEGATIVITY, YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT, SEE IT OR THINK ABOUT IT. IT’S GIVING STARVE THE ENERGY VIBES AND KEEP IN MIND OTHERS MAY TRY TO STARVE YOU OF ENERGY, BUT KEEP DOING YOU REGARDLESS. I AM SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYONE IS TRYING TO BE SEEN, ACKNOWLEDGED AND FAMOUS IN THEIR OWN RIGHT. SO, WHILE YOU MAY NOT BE IN THE SPOTLIGHT, THEY WAY YOU WANT, THAT SHOULDN’T STOP YOU FROM CREATING AND OR BUILDING YOUR CAREER OR NAME FOR YOURSELF. THIS TRANSIT CAN PLAY OUT BOTH WAYS, YOU MAY GET A RUSH OF ATTENTION AND THEN IT DISAPPEARS.

Part Of Fortune: Scorpio (17) 1st House

THE PART OF FORTUINE IN ASTROLOGY IS THE ENERGETIC JACKPOT. IF YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED ENERGY IS THE NEW CURRENCY BUT THEN AGAIN, THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE SECRET FORMULA. EMPHASIS ON SECRET, WITH SCORPIO’S SECRETIVE A$$! WITH CONSIDERATION TO THE PART OF FORTUNE BEING IN SCORPIO AT 17 DEGREES, WITIN THE 2ND DECAN RULED BY NEPTUNE, THIS CAN INDICATE YOU APPEARING SECRETIVE, ELUSIVE AND MYSTERIOUS AT THIS TIME. ASSUMING THIS IS TO PROTECT YOUR ENERGY AND TO AVOID CONFLICT. ON A NEGATIVE NOTE, THIS TRANSIT CAN BRING FORTH DESTRUCTION. LAST WEEK, THE PART OF FORTUNE WAS IN GEMINI AND IT WAS CLEAR THAT THERE WAS SOME ENERGETIC MANIPULATION OR STRAIGHT UP CURSES BEING SENT TO YOU WHILE YOUR ENERGY WAS BEING STOLEN FROM YOU AND WITH THAT BLESSINGS AND OPPORTUNITIES. I ADVISED LAST WEEK TO “ PLAY DEAD”, MEANING COMPLETELY DETACH, SHUTDOWN, BECOME MORE PRIVATE, CALCULATING AND PROTECTIVE OF YOUR ENERGY BUT MORE SO YOUR MIND.

THANK YOU FOR READING! TO REITERATE, THESE ARE VERY BRIEF PREDICTIONS- TO HEAR MORE, PLEASE FOLLOW MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL AND JOIN UNDER MEMBERS. OR SIGN UP ON MY PATREON ACCOUNT!

I WILL BE UPDATING THE REST OF THE PLANETARY PLACEMENTS AND ASPECTS THROUGHOUT THE WEEK.

LINKS BELOW TO BECOME MEMBERS!

#predictions #predictive astrology #astrology forecast #sidereal astrology #sidereal zodiac #astro community #astro observations #unconventional #spiritual astrology #spiritual #intuitive #intuitive astrology #forecast

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junebugwriter · 11 months

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Tiring night. I work overnight as a hotel night auditor, and a lot of that is a pull between customer service and managing certain accounting tasks for the next day, which is a pretty easy job all things told, as long as the "customer service" variable is relatively manageable. However, it was a Friday night, and those are usually rough. Phones ringing off the hooks, guests lining up in front of me, you know the drill. It can be maddening.

I get the feeling it wasn't supposed to be like this. None of this is supposed to be like this. The more money people have to blow, the angrier they seem. I'm doing a the job of a supervisor for the pay of an entry level worker, and I've done so for six months, since the time the last overnight supervisor quit. I've just... kind of done it. Nobody asked. I've trained several people in that time. I've applied for the supervisor job, too. I've been told for a month now that any day now, the "promotion" will be mine. My pay hasn't gone up. My authorization hasn't gone up. I'm still just doing the same thing I've always been doing, for not nearly enough money.

But my story is hardly unique, isn't it? Companies don't do anything unless they are forced to. Management doesn't care about the workers until they are made to care. But I'm isolated. There are three (3) total overnight auditors at this hotel with service for over 600 rooms. We should have at least 6 people doing this job. But we don't. Because we've gotten by without it for so long, the management seems to think it's going to be fine forever. I've told my direct boss, who is fine and who gets it (tm) because she was a front desk worker not long ago and deals with all the front line bullshit on a regular basis. She's been fighting for me. But management has never responded to any email I've ever sent. They've never corresponded. I've only ever seen the current front office manager twice. In five years. Once was on accident as I was leaving. The other time was when he had just started working here. I had been here for three years at that point. I've outlasted three rounds of management hiring and firing.

From what I can tell, though, this is how it is EVERYWHERE. Every time I talk with other hotel staff, or with other service workers, or hell, even with OFFICE workers, people are being over-extended. This goes well beyond burnout. I mean, I'm burnt out. I know I am. But I'm managing doing this job full time, while writing a PhD dissertation... and now managing gender dysphoria and beginning transition, too. It's all so much. Everything is just happening so fast, it feels like the world is accelerating so fast, and nothing will ever slow down, get easier, or get better.

I don't know of any person my age who has hope things will get better any time soon. Unless we all do something about it, nothing will get done. I tried a union, but the anti-union work is very real around here. Also, I work with max 3 other people a night. I don't see the bulk of the work force, so organizing isn't exactly something I'm primed to do. Not that "organizing" is a thing I'm at all good at anyways.

I just feel so fucking fried, so tired. I know part of it is my disability, but I also just know that this isn't how things are supposed to be, either. Nobody should have to do all the shit we have to deal with. Nobody should be paid pennies for working at a place you could never in a hundred years reasonably afford given our wages. Yet here we are. And the worst part? Management keeps finding new, stupider ways to scam people out of their money, which makes customers madder because they KNOW that they're being scammed--and take it out on the service workers!! As if we're in any position to do anything about the pricing that was decided by the upper levels of everything! As if we don't already know that the hotel is garbage, overpriced, and only this expensive because we're in a tourism town!

I work all the fucking time, to the point where I don't want to do anything on my days off because I need the time to recover. But recovery never comes. Just more anxiety, more worry, more work. And it seems never ending.

It shouldn't be like this. This cannot continue. But it will, until we have a broad and connected working class to push back against the powers that be. I know, I'm isolated, disenfranchised, and disenchanted intentionally, that's how capitalism works. But goddamn, each day feels like we're all squealing into the next on bald tires and broken brakes, but if we stop, we starve.

This cannot continue. It all has to burn, so we can build a better world in the ashes of the old.

#work #capitalism #anarchism #communism #socialism #anarchocommunism #community #hospitality #service work #blog #personal #political philosophy #economics #capitalist realism

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angelic-omega · 2 months

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My trans experience is like forcing my square peg into a round hole and it sort of fits. The peg gets stuck there for a while and the longer it sits there…the harder it is to get out. The fit is tight and uncomfortable but nobody minds so long as I remain in the place I’ve always been!

One day I start prying myself free from the round hole. As I do people yell at me and tell me what a shame it is because I’m almost all the way through the round hole! Even if my square peg sticks out like a sore thumb in a sea of round ones, if I would just stay for a little longer maybe I wouldn’t fight so hard to leave?

That’s not the case, I clawed my way out of the round hole. Scraping at the paint covering me, making me less desirable in order to spare my own comfort. Only when I finally broke free from the round hole my square peg had been stuck inside for so long…did I truly grasp the weight which had been lifted from my shoulders.

The pain of forcing myself into a box that didn’t fit suddenly lifted and I felt like I was breathing for the first time in my entire life. Only for me to try the square hole and fall short…

See I was never actually a fully square peg. Just a triangle with enough sharper edges to make the round hole an uncomfortable fit! I can slip through the square hole now, can find myself in a sea of square pegs. However, I’m not fully square am I?

Other trans people I know are square pegs or round pegs, easily placing themselves on one side or the other! At least around here because square and round seem to be the only options! I long for a triangle shaped hole for my triangle shaped peg! So for now I try my best to fill out the square hole as much as I can, and hope no one notices I’m not fully square shaped.

I may not be a man but a man is as close to my gender as I feel. I know I’m not a woman because trying to fit back into the round hole would break me, but I also know I’m not fully square. I don’t fit in either of the accepted categories but that’s ok! In a room full of men I am me, and in a room full of women I am me. There are others like me of different varieties and shapes! Some which fit easier into one hole or the other but are too afraid to ask for their specific shape to be recognized by society.

No one would believe the amount of shapes you can be…especially if you were always a square peg or a round peg. Sometimes I wish I could have had an easier transition experience, been a square peg in a round hole that found solace after transitioning.

I find myself somewhere in the middle and that’s ok. It’s ok to be nonbinary, it’s ok to not fit into a box! It’s ok to simplify and call yourself a man and it’s ok to loudly and proudly tell the world you’re not the conventional shape!

It’s ok to be a square peg stuck in a round hole that pried itself out and fit perfectly into the square hole! It’s ok to be a round peg in a square hole that found belonging with the other round pegs! It’s ok if you can’t safely remove yourself from where you are stuck it doesn’t change the way you are at all. Whatever shape you find yourself being…

You are valid.

#genderfluid #genderqueer #transgender #gender euphoria #trans geek #lgbtqia #lgbt pride

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steamberrystudio · 2 years

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25/07/2022 Devlog

Hello everyone!

Just popping in with an update on Quill's route

Summary:

Finished the second big revision of Quill's route

Finished up proofreading/typo correction (round 1)

Scripted Quill's route into Renpy

Created the chapter title cards

Staged all the BG and major sprite changes

Set up preliminary scoring

The Ramble:

Okaaay.

So I've finished the second big revision of Quill's route, fixing some lingering issues and cleaning up the dialogue a little more.

I also finished running the script through editing software to catch as many typos and minor style/grammar issues as possible. Fortunately this only takes a couple of days because it's incredibly boring compared to other revisions.

But when that was done, the writing was ready to be scripted into Renpy. =O

By "scripting", I just mean I take the raw draft from scrivener, put it into Renpy, and turn it into functional code. This doesn't really take that long as I write in sort..."pseudo-code" anyway, so I mostly have to make indentation fixes and correct any small errors like forgetting a quotation mark, colon, or bracket.

I set up the preliminary scoring of the "romance points" - I don't really keep track of these while I write; I just make note of where the "stat checks" will appear. So after the route is all scripted, I go through and make a spreadsheet that tracks all the choices and what they're doing point-wise. Then tally up what is the total possible points a player can have at a given moment and I calculate whatever percentage I want to have the game check for. Again, doesn't take a terribly long time to get that done.

I created the chapter title cards for Quill's route and put them in the game.

And finally I have done the basic staging for major background and sprite changes. So this is basically me marking in the script where we change backgrounds (and what we change to and, if necessary, what transition is being used) as well as marking down any places a sprite newly appears on screen or gets hidden as well as the position that sprite needs to be in.

Even though none of the assets are ready yet, by noting the basic staging, once I have the assets ready, it'll make it much easier to code the backgrounds and sprites into the game.

So...in summary, I have moved into the next phase of getting Quill's route ready, which is where I'm no longer focused on writing but am starting to focus on the initial coding and asset preparation.

Sneak Peeks and Previews:

None yet unless you want a screen cap of the code. LoL

Upcoming Weeks:

So now that the bulk of the writing phase is over (there's still beta testing which involves a lot of typo and continuity fixing. Which is technically writing...but the script is complete. Just needs to continue to be polished - though that will come later), I am moving into the phase of "There are literally 300 things on this to-do list and I am not sure which ones I'll tackle this week."

I do know that my immediate focus will be on prepping all the backgrounds for Quill's route. Quill's route, like Lance's route, is relatively contained in terms of backgrounds, so it shouldn't take long.

And, unfortunately, as a lot of the BGs are indoors, I don't think there's a lot of space for BG animations like in some of the other routes.

Once I have those completed, I'll put them into the game and go back through to make sure all the BG changes are set up correctly.

After that, I'm not totally sure. I may shift to working on some sprite stuff. Some characters already have sprites in the game - Quill, Morgan, Rory, and any Endgame people who show up. However, Quill, Morgan, and Rory all need additional variations or edits to their sprites.

I have two other character sprites (Locke and Vale) nearly completed. Neither is in the game and both need more variations.

There are three additional unique sprites needed (Neel, Aritz, and Vic), then an assortment of "Bobs"

So there's a fair amount of sprite related work to be done.

At some point in this mix I will also be putting in the music cues. I'm excited to be able to use some tracks that didn't appear in other routes. OWO

And that's kind of it for now I think. The writing is really the biggest hurdle in terms of route completion and it's now out of the way. So I'm excited to be able to move to the next phase of Quill's route.

There is still a lot of work to be done but it's always a relief to be done with the writing portion since it's such a huge chunk of the process.

Anyway, I will see you all next update! *wave*

#gilded shadows #updates #quill's route

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