#which is shitty but makes a lot of sense in my mind

[chronicbeans]

Platonic Alastor x Maladaptive Daydreamer Reader

Hehe not me self-projecting again! Anyways, these are kinda based on my own experiences, but I'm trying to make them more generalized.

TW: Maladaptive daydreaming, escapism, dissociation, mentions of depression and anxiety, brief mentions of compulsive behavior/OCD, invasion of privacy, manipulation, peer pressure, yandere-ish behavior (I believe he defaults to those behaviors, no matter the type of relationship), mention of cannibalism (this is Alastor we're talking about...), Alastor is a shitty toxic friend in this

• He's absolutely fascinated by the way your mind works. Even before he knows what is going on, or begins to get close to you, he can tell you are an interesting person. The way you look so distant, like your mind is checked out and flying to far off places without you, is something he hasn't seen before. He wants to pick and prod at your brain to see what's going on.

• He doesn't want to do so the easy way, though. No. Instead, he wants to drag out this process for as long as possible, and make sure you twist and squirm all the while. He loves to make people uncomfortable, after all! That's his specialty, in his opinion, besides his radio show.

• He'll start off with introductions, of course, which is probably when he first got interested in you. That dreamy look isn't so easy to see from a distance, after all. The second he looked into your eyes while shaking your hand, though, it became obvious. How hadn't he seen it before? If he saw this look when he first entered, he would've talked to you first out of the crew at the Hazbin Hotel. Well, besides Charlie... But, that's just because she owns the place.

•The uncomfortable prodding starts in an instant. One of his first questions after getting your name is not "What made you want to come to the hotel?" or "What can you provide to help the hotel?" It's more like "How did you die?", "What are your major vices?", and "What sin have you committed to be brought to Hell?" He wants to test the waters. See what he can get away with without completely scaring you off. If you run away and avoid him, it'd be harder to learn what he wants, and make you uncomfortable while doing so.

• Regardless of whether or not you answer, you are probably a little put off from him. Not enough to completely avoid him, since you can see how some of those questions might help him help the hotel, but enough to be uncomfortable... Which, in his opinion, is perfect!

• He's great at hiding, so if you start noticing him mentioning things you thought were private, you really shouldn't be surprised. He can, quite literally, hide in the shadows at times. He quickly takes notes of your little habits, including ones you might be embarrassed about.

• He may watch you pacing around your room, mumbling to yourself as if you are playing pretend all alone. Or, maybe, he's hiding over your shoulder while you're writing down some elaborate storyline. Perhaps he's watching you in plain sight, seeing you make a bunch of odd facial expressions at seemingly nothing. He may not know why you do this, but he wants to. He would've suspected some sort of substance use, considering it's Hell. Lots of people do so. However, he's never seen you near anything that would cause such behavior. So, that's off his list, for now.

• So, step 2 of his plan begins! As his good ol' pals Husk and Niffty to try befriending you! Or, at the very least, get information from you that you aren't comfortable telling him. Then, have them report back to him with their findings. Of course, Husk seems agitated by the request, but obliges. Niffty seems more than happy to do as he asks, though. A happy worker is a good worker, so he has more hope in Niffty getting the big story than Husk.

• Surprisingly, though, he's proven wrong. The most Niffty got was your fashion sense, favorite types of stories, and that you are very "quiet". Yes, the fashion and types of stories were new to him... But what he seems important, the reason you act so oddly, isn't there. Husk, however, was able to get a lot more out of you, somehow.

• Husk mentions you talking to him, one night, after he saw you skipping oddly down the hall and pass the bar where he was cleaning the glasses before closing it for the night. You seemed extremely embarrassed to have been seen, mentioning that you thought he was asleep already. He then just, politely asked a few questions...? And got answers? How?

• Alastor immediately demands answers, only for Husk to reply "I don't know how to describe it like they did! Most I understood is that they daydream too much. Seems like it's a constant thing going on. They like to pace and prance while doing so, sometimes, but don't like getting caught."

• Now it begins to make more sense... the writing, the talks about stories with Niffty, the prancing and pacing... and most importantly, that dreamy, distant look you have. He can even see why you'd make odd expressions. You're reacting to your own thoughts... He doesn't understand it. He's never heard of anything like this before, especially during his time as a human, but he can tell one thing for certain: You must be his friend, now. Whether you like it or not.

• You are so different from everyone else he's met, you see, and he loves things that go against the norm. Now, while you may or may not be considered normal or not too different by others, you're different and abnormal to him. You somehow succeed in both being polite, smart, and funny to mess around with, while also barely being able to pay attention to the world around you. He's always thought that those two things were mutually exclusive. How can you learn when you can't stop being in your own head? How can someone be polite and not listen? The funny part, though... He can kind of see that. He finds surprising you be sneaking up behind you and tapping your shoulder funny every now and again. Nevertheless, you are going to be his friend.

• Soon enough, you notice his behavior changing, a bit. Less following you around, less vaguely threatening words, and more... quiet. It's eerie, coming from him. However, you also notice him trying to talk to you about stories and books he's heard and read. Even things he's heard during his human life, such as Creole folktales and other stories he's heard in New Orleans, Louisiana back in the 1920s-1930s. It's a bit like a completely different side to him you never expected to see, and never really wanted to, but you aren't really complaining. It's better than him deciding to terrorize you for fun and him asking invasive questions...

• A little more time passes and he decides to ask about small habits, disguising them as him just now noticing those habits, when he's probably noticed them while spying on you months prior. Nothing too extreme. Mostly just your expressions, how it seems like your attention is somewhere else... Nothing like your pacing, prancing, or acting. He wants to establish that he knows about these tiny little things, and now that you're more comfortable with him, you're much more likely to answer. That way, once he moves onto the bigger, more personal questions, you'll already have been eased into feeling comfortable with it.

• Eventually, you get to the point where you feel comfortable calling him a friend. He's already considered you one since that conversation with Husk, but it's a start. Now, he's gotten the lovely privilege of being able to know more about what's going on in that lovely little brain of yours... well, "little" brain is definitely an understatement. From how you describe your imagination, he'd be led to believe your mind must be as vast as the Library of Alexandria.

• Vast worlds, complicated plotlines, complex characters... you talk of odd tales you've created, all in your brain. Ones you've had in your mind for years, some you came up with on a whim, and others, still, that are still being developed. Stories that have been being created over the span of real life years, ones you started then dropped... All of which are being held in your head, with only a miniscule fraction of it being written onto paper. He's truly impressed, genuinely respecting your odd talent, as he sees it. You've perfected the craft of creativity, while he's perfected the art of talking to an audience. Even better, is that he got to learn whether or not his theory of you taking inspiration from stories you've heard was right. Which explains his sudden mentions of stories he's heard in life.

• Now... if only you'd let him tell some of your stories on his radio show! If you wouldn't like that, then he'd probably ask you to write something for his show. That way, it isn't as personal to you, and you wouldn't even need to be credited if you're embarrassed by it! He could just say a random listener sent it in, and he thought it'd be great to read, to show his appreciation for his adoring fans. The world simply must hear the greatness of your mind, dear, and he is not going to stop annoying politely asking you to write something until you do.

• Another thing he might try is to see if he can figure out why you partake in this little habit of yours. He's never heard of it, though he has asked some sinners and demons if they have. Be it Charlie, Angel Dust, some of the other overlords, or a friend of his we haven't seen or heard of, before. More modern sinners keep mentioning a thing called Maladaptive Daydreaming, describing it as a symptom of other mental health diagnoses... but that's the problem. That fits you, you've mentioned that you know of that and it fits you... but that's also just a symptom. Well, a few argue that it may be its own thing, but it is not an official diagnosis yet. So, for now, he wants to figure out why you do it.

• Is it depression? Anxiety? Do you really want to escape from something, and you're doing so by hopping into that little dream land of yours? Is it some sort of compulsion? You seem to not really be able to control it that well, after all, and others have mentioned links to OCD, as well as other disorders that can cause compulsions. Is it sheer, absolute, chronic boredom? Speak to him, dear! What is it? Do you even know? If not, he'll assume it's the boredom option... for now.

• He's obsessed with you, really. You're his friend, and he's very obsessive over them, in his own way. He is as far away from normal when it comes to showing real affection for others, which wouldn't be bad, if it weren't for the fact that a main part of it is him being absolutely suffocating when he's around. That, and he can be terrifying... He's the Radio Demon, after all! It's just worse for you than his other friends, though, because you are different. Being different is a really important thing for him, really, alongside being polite, smart, and funny. Not required, unlike the last three traits, but it makes you more likely to be his friend. You hit the lottery by achieving being all four, but it must be the worst lottery prize in the world.

• He holds the thought that you should just be friends with him. Now, you don't have to be... but, he'd prefer it. If you really want outside friends, sure! You just can't be friends with his other friends. He claims they'd "taint" you with how violent they can be. Plus, since he's friends with other cannibals, some of which do serve sinner and demon meat to others without telling them, he genuinely does worry about your safety and wellbeing if you met those specific friends of his. For your friends, he wants to meet them. He needs to in order to deem them worthy of being your friend, and to make sure it's not someone he knows and is friends with. You deserve perfection, and who knows perfection better than Alastor, yes? After all, he can see that you're perfect. That is more than enough evidence, dear.

• You're one of the few people who he doesn't mind having your attention not on him. Part of your charm, in his opinion, is your lack of attention. All he asks is that you tell him about a story of yours. What is going on in your head that's so important? Oh, a great war between this and that? A psychological horror? Cities beneath the sea? Tell him about it. He finds it fun! Especially if he can see any possible inspiration from events or other stories. He likes to hear your voice almost as much as he likes to hear his own, which you'll realize is more of a compliment than it might sound like, once you truly get to know him.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor the radio demon #maladaptive daydreaming #alastor x reader #platonic headcanons

[on-my-vigilante-sht]

Mine

Luke Castellan x Reader

Requested by: @officiallenalove like imagine the reader is like a daughter of Poseidon and we know he’s not around most of the time and she meets Luke and they like fall in love but she’s never known what healthy love looks like so it’s low key angsty but happy at the same time yk?

Summary: "You are the best thing that's ever been mine"

Warning: crappy parents, angst, self doubt

Word Count: 2k

Masterlist

A/N Sorry this took so long I had a hard time choosing which lyrics/moments I wanted to write

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

Godly parents were always deadbeats. It was just a fact of half-blood life. But after spending years thinking I had no father, I was thrilled to have been claimed by Poseidon. It was naïve of me to think that just because he claimed me he’d be a good father just because I knew of his existence. I spent night after night praying to him, looking for some sense of guidance from him but never receiving anything. Eventually I learned not to bother with him or anyone else.

My mom had let me down enough times that I knew it wasn’t just gods that let you down. When she finally told me about my father she told me I’d be moving to a strange place. Not for my safety but because she didn’t want to take care of the daughter of the god that broke her heart. She complained endlessly on the drive over that my father never even bothered to offer her immortality, rather last she heard of him he was falling in love with another woman on Long Island.

She was dead to me after she dumped me at camp with hardly a goodbye. And then my father was dead to me when I begged for his help but received nothing.

~

I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin' / Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

Most of the other campers felt the same about their godly parents but it seemed like the only one who really understood was Luke.

“I mean, it’s like we’re nothing to them,” Luke ranted to me. We rant to each other a lot. “We’re just byproducts of their mistakes.”

“Gods, I hate men,” I groaned, lying back in the grass of the green. “Are all fathers this shitty?” I asked, looking up at Luke. I squinted into the sun as I peered at him accusingly. He moved his hand to block the sun from my eyes.

“I wouldn’t know from personal experience but I wouldn’t be this shitty,” he smiled cheekily down at me. He moved to lay back too, resting on his elbow. “I’d never abandon you.”

I could feel my chest tighten and I hoped it wasn’t apparent on my face. I just laughed, gently pushing his chest in a playful manner, hoping I was sparing him any embarrassment by making him think I thought he was joking. “You wish. You’d probably leave once the first diaper change comes.” I couldn’t even begin to consider loving him—or anyone—enough to feel abandoned by him. Thanks to my parents I felt more than enough abandonment.

He gave me a forced laugh as I sat up. “Yeah probably. I’d just be the fun dad.”

~

Do you remember, we were sittin' there by the water? / You put your arm around me for the first time

Later that day I found myself sitting on the beach of the Long Island Sound. The ocean was always sort of a sore spot for me because it was just a reminder of my father but it still felt calming. Like I belonged despite my father’s indifference.

As I stared out into the sound, zoning out, I let my mind wander to the conversation I had with Luke. That wasn’t the first time he had tried to hint at his feelings and he was a great guy but I couldn’t trust him. I didn’t have faith that he—or anyone for that matter—wouldn’t just let me down. How could I trust I wouldn’t let him down.

I was interrupted from my thoughts by the man himself. “Hey, can we talk?” he asked, coming to stand next to me. I just wordlessly gestured for him to sit next to me. He complied, taking a few breaths before looking at me. “I’m just gonna come right out and day it: I like you,” he rushed. “You don’t have to like me back or anything but I need to know that you know.”

I stared at him, my mouth agape. I hadn’t expected his boldness. “Um…” I had to take a second to structure my thoughts. “Luke, you’re a great guy. Any girl would be lucky to have you but you don’t want me.”

“Actually, I do I just said it,” he chuckled, trying to release some tension.

I laughed with him. “No, I mean I don’t think I can give you what you want. I’m not the best with feelings and I’m not entirely convinced that you, and everyone else in my life, won’t just leave me when it’s convenient.”

“Hey,” Luke chided gently, throwing an arm over my shoulder to bring me closer, “I meant what I said I'm not gonna abandon you. And if you’re scared, that’s fine, we can take this slow. If you really just don’t want a relationship that’s fine. I’ll still be by your side no matter what.”

Tears pricked my eyes at how thoughtful and caring he was being. Fortunately he couldn’t see them because my head was resting on his shoulder. “Okay,” I agreed, “I want to try taking things slow with you.” His grip on me tightened as he held me a little closer, like he was so excited you just have to squeeze something.

~

Braced myself for the goodbye / 'Cause that's all I've ever known

Things were great for a few months. Every time I began to doubt our relationship, Luke was there to help me. Giving me constant assurances and telling me how much he loved me. So much so that I started to feel like a burden to him. Like I was just a task he had to get through every week.

“Hey,” Luke announced his presence as he entered my cabin, “I haven’t seen you all day, what’s up?” he asked, looking around the cabin.

“J-just a second!” I called from a storage closet. I quickly wiped my tears and steeled myself, willing myself to look normal. Realizing he’d be wondering why I was in the closet, I grabbed a random blanket from one of the shelves. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the closet with a smile. “Hey.”

His face immediately dropped. “What’s wrong?”

Curse my puffy eyes. “Nothing,” I answered. He approached me but I just slid past him, dropping the blanket onto my bunk. “Why?”

“Your eyes are all red. What’s wrong?” he asked again. Once again trying to touch me but I just backed away.

“Must be dust or something in the closet,” I tried to dismiss.

His face hardened. “C’mon, Y/N I know something’s wrong. I don’t want you to hide things from me. I want to take care of you.”

At his words the dam broke and all the thoughts and feelings I had been dealing with bubbled over. “I don't want you to have to take care of me!” A look of hurt appeared on his face and my heart ached for him. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, I do. I just don’t think it’s fair to you to have to comfort me whenever anything little happens. It’s pathetic,” I spat at myself.

“Hey, no, you’re not pathetic,” Luke assured me.

“You’re not listening to me,” I insisted. “How can you possibly want to be with me when I do nothing but drain you?” I stared at him, waiting for him to realize that I was a leech and leave for his own sake. But instead, he just looked endeared.

“Y/N, you are the best thing that’s ever been mine. I don’t want you to ever think that you’re a burden to me. I love you and I love that I'm the one who brings you comfort. So please, just let me love you.”

My resolve broke and I went to him, letting Luke pull me into his chest. “What did I do to deserve you?” I cried into the warmth of his chest.

“I ask myself the same,” he returned, pressing a kiss to my head.

Masterlist

#percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #pjo x reader #pjo tv show #pjo series #the lighting thief #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #x reader #Spotify

[annawritesblog]

When I first saw you (o.p.)

Summary: Oscar falls for y/n instantly.

A/N: enjoyed writing this a lot. just some pure fluff for my Oscar girlies out there. also we need more Oscar imagines. please remember that english is not my first language, so excuse me if something's not correct. enjoy

Oscar knew. He knew the first time he saw her. The way her navy blue dress hugged her body, the way she laughed, the way her hair fall into her face. He just knew he had to get her.

He didn’t know who she was or why she was there then. He did know that he had been mesmerized by her beauty.

She just wanted to leave. She wasn’t a very sociable person. She had her close friend group whom with she very much liked spending time with. And although she did have her best friend by her, it was just awkward for her. She didn’t know anyone there, except Lily and her boyfriend. But the pair of them had disappeared minutes ago to have a chat with Alex’s boss. Time didn’t seem to pass and y/n grew anxious. She was standing all alone with a glass of champagne in her hand.

She didn’t know why she came. Maybe because her best friend had convinced her that it would be fun ‘hanging out’ with f1 drivers, at a formal dinner party. Tho she liked f1 and being in the same room as most drivers filled her with joy, the being alone thing didn’t. Neither did the fact that she felt like an outsider.

On the other end of the room, Oscar stood with a glass of champagne in his hand. He had spent the entire evening looking at the heaven brought angel. He wanted to go up to her several times, but never actually worked up the courage. So he just stayed with the staring. Which might have resulted in some confused looks. Mainly from his teammate. After a while, Lando decided that it was enough.

“Come on now Osc. Go up to her.” The Brit looked at the brunette standing next to him.

“And what do I do? Just stand next to her?” Oscar pointed out, although he knew his point didn’t make any sense. He didn’t make any sense.

“Oh, I don’t know let me think. Maybe talk to her?” Lando joked and Oscar just rolled his eyes. If it would be that easy, he wouldn’t think twice.

“I can’t. She would think I’m an idiot.” The young driver sighed and sipped his champagne.

“Go up to her and ask her if she’s enjoying the party.” Lando suggested, hoping that his friend would finally make the step. “Look, she’s alone. She’s been for a while. I’m sure she would even enjoy your company.” He laughed and Oscar wanted to disappear.

He was right tho. She was standing alone for some time. There’s nothing wrong in accompanying someone who’s standing all alone. And who knows, maybe Lando’s right. Maybe she would enjoy his company. More or less.

“Okay fine. I’ll go talk to her.” Oscar tightened his tie and inhaled nervously. He was going to finally do it.

“That’s the spirit.” The McLaren driver exclaimed. “Just keep it light, crack a few jokes. You have pretty funny ones.”

“Thanks.” Oscar said and left Lando on his own.

She wasn’t that far away actually. But the whole way there, he had ran things through his mind. Keep it light. The words from his teammate kept repeating in his head. It shouldn’t be that hard. Right?

She was ready to leave. Ready to go home and make a hot chocolate while listening to real music. Not this jazz that was making her head hurt. She would come up with some shitty excuse for Lily, something like a headache. She grabbed her clutch from the fancy table and started heading towards the exit. That was until she heard someone behind her.

“Did you drop this?” The brunette boy asked her. She looked confused, annoyed even. It was a penny in his hand. She did not drop that for sure.

He knew this excuse was terrible. It was everything but keeping it simple. And he felt like a fool. Did you drop this? Seriously? God he was so mad at himself.

Daniel joined Lando at the other end of the room. Lando had his eyes glued to the scene. He was cheering for Oscar when he had started going towards her. Then, not so much. He examined the actions of his teammate with wide eyes. What was he doing? He’s messing it up big time.

“What are we watching?” The Alphatauri driver asked.

“Oscar flirting.” Lando simply answered and tried to figure out his plan. Daniel shrugged his shoulder and decided to roll with it and catch up with the plot. He soon realized what was happening. And God, was he surprised.

Everybody knew Oscar as a professional and serious driver. Always had his eyes on the prize and nothing could get him out of his concentration. Although he was a rookie, he walked with confidence and broke down any wall that had blocked him in his career. But now, he looked like was completely changed: nervously scratching the back of his head as he was explaining something to the girl in front of him, probably mumbling and so on.

Near the exit, y/n stood with the racing driver. The Australian still waited for her answer although he knew she in fact didn’t drop it. She couldn’t have, because he was the one who took the penny out of his pocket and acted like someone dropped it. Just so he could have an excuse to talk to her. God, was he just an idiot.

“I didn’t, no.” Y/n said and smiled lightly. She found him attractive. Not like intimidating, more like he was comforting. He stood tall infront of her and she could smell his cologne. It was pleasant.

“Alright then, sorry.” Oscar looked at her and boy he was falling. Now having heard her voice, he was hooked. He never thought that love at first sight could happen to him, but here he was. Making a fool of himself.

“Maybe you should keep it. It gives you luck apparently.” She explained to the driver.

“Well I guess it already did. Otherwise I wouldn’t be talking to you.” He said without thinking. The girl blushed and smiled which made the butterflies in Oscar’s stomach erupt. Maybe he wasn’t that bad at flirting after all. “I’m Oscar.” He offered his hand.

“Y/n.” She shook his hand. Their hands fit perfectly. Perfect for them at least. The way her small hand stood in his big one. It was comfortable. And both of them could feel it. They eventually let go.

“That’s a very pretty name.” Oscar said and he was well aware of how blushed his cheeks were. So were hers. “So, are you enjoying the party?”

“I-it’s okay.” She chose her words carefully. She didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

“Very convincing.” He laughed and y/n felt her knees go weaker at the sound of that. She wouldn’t mind hearing that more.

“I just don’t really know anyone here.” She confessed and felt a bit small. He must think she’s some kinda antisocial person. Which she was, to an extent.

“Well, now you know me.” The brunette smiled. “It’s not the best dinner party, but also not the worst. The music tho, horrible.”

“Right? It makes me want to sleep almost.” The two of them laughed and y/n felt comfortable for the first time that night.

The pair of them kept talking for a long time. In the mean time y/n had placed her clutch on the table, signaling that there’s no way she’s leaving. Although that was exactly her plan not that long ago. The talked about her studies, his career, where they both came from, and many many things. Before they knew it, people started leaving. Both of them acknowledged that the night had come to an end, though neither of them wanted to leave. But they had to.

“I had a really great time talking to you, y/n.” Oscar said as he escorted the girl out the place. He placed his hand on her lower back, not too low tho, no need to scare her away. Goosebumps ran through her whole body from the combination of his hand and the cold air. She didn’t want the night to end.

“I had too.” The girl answered and smiled up at the boy in front of her. As soon as they stepped out of the venue the cold hit them both. It was the middle of the night so it was no surprise.

Oscar still kept his hand on her back but the girl had turned to face him. They were close, not too close but close enough. “Can I see you again sometime?” He asked and felt his cheeks burning, luckily it was dark.

“I would love that.” Y/n smiled and felt like nothing would ever top this feeling. Oscar actually wanted to see her again. Like a date. They would meet again and talk just like they did before. Unbelievable yet true.

The wind was blowing, messing up the girl’s hair. It didn’t really bother her, she just wanted to freeze the moment. Stay like this forever, that’s what they both wanted to do.

A strand of hair had escaped her elegant bun and Oscar quickly noticed. He put the strand behind her ear and inhaled sharply. Both of their hearts were racing. He lightly caressed her cheeks lovingly and the girl felt the warmth of his fingertips on her face. It was truly magical, until.

Until someone shouted out y/n’s name. Both of them pulled away awkwardly and just stood there. Lily and Alex walked up to the girl, at first not noticing the McLaren driver.

“Oh thank God, you’re here.” Lily hugged y/n and she felt awkward as hell. “You didn’t answer your phone, I thought you left without us.”

“I was-“ she was cut off by Alex who was the first to notice that y/n was in fact not standing alone.

“Oscar?” The Williams driver furrowed his brows in confusion. Oscar just waved then shook his hand. It was all becoming too much. For y/n at least.

And then it hit Lily. The two were together. Of course they were. And they just disturbed them.

“Oh.” Lily looked at the two of them. “So we’re just gonna wait for you in the car. Whenever you’re ready.” She smiled and grabbed her boyfriend’s hand who was still very confused.

As soon as the pair left, y/n and Oscar bursted out laughing. What could have they done? The moment was gone anyway so why stress about it more?

“So listen.” Oscar started. “I would be really happy if you’d go on a date with me.” He came out with it clear and simple.

The girl nodded. “I would love to go on a date with you, Oscar.” God, his name sounded so good from her mouth. He wanted to hear that playing on loop in his head.

Y/n gave the tall boy her number and he promised to call very soon. Little did she know, he would text her that night telling her again how much fun he had. Both of them started heading against different cars, y/n having carpooled with Lily and Alex, while Oscar drove himself home.

“I promise we’ll finish what we started.”

#oscar piastri #f1 x reader #f1 fic #f1 imagine #op81 #imagine #lando norris #alex albon #daniel ricciardo #f1blr #charles lecrelc #oscar piastri x reader

[suguruplsr]

Let me be your cure

featuring.. Alhaitham

✰ ✰ ✰ You gave up on love after being affected with the infamous hanahaki. With pity and sadness slowly swallowing your life whole, you end up in the hospital. Reluctant to getting surgery. And your boring, sadly hot, doctor doesn't seem to care. At least until he finds himself thinking about you.

,, x fem!reader , reader had an ex fiancé who was shitty , fluff w/ angst + comfort , mentions of blood and bruises (caused by the disease) , purely fictional! i know nothing about how hospitals actually operate or if things in my story are or are not allowed! so as you read, remember its purely fictional!

+ disease used is called hanahaki! and it is fictional, and used in many fictional stories, like mine. in shorter terms, a character affected by this disease coughs up flowers and, usually, blood, because of rejection or the loved character not loving them, (without it being said too!). it’s mostly solved with the loved character realizing their love for mc and saving them. or in other cases, the mc getting surgery and losing feelings for the loved character.

↬ 1K Event Masterlist

wc: 5K+

- divider @/benkeibear

“Why are you staring?" You huff, making the gray-haired man in front of you nearly lose his composure. There’s no reason why someone like him should be stuck with some bratty woman. Okay, maybe he should have some sympathy. considering it’s a part of his job. “Ma’am, I'm just evaluating your physical health by sight for now.” You groan, turning your head away.

You’re literally going to die within this year and You can’t even at least get someone who is a bit more bubbly and nice to be around! not some cold guy with looks that could kill.

His eyes were unique. like targets or darts, probably? Your confuzzled mind couldn’t make sense of most things at the moment, but you felt strange underneath his gaze. intimidated. even without looking at him.

“Maybe if you wiped that scowl off your face, you wouldn't be in this situation. Probably drove the guy off." Alhaitham mutters. Yeah, yeah, it’s unprofessional, but he wasn’t disappointed with your reaction. His eyes lingered around your face, noticing how your tired, red eyes widened. But your lips curled, as if satisfied, mixing with the disbelief in your words. "Oh, you must be the funniest one around. What? Was I supposed to just smile? Say, 'Oh, I don’t mind, you’re fucking your secretary! Let’s plan our honeymoon, though!’ And hope to continue our romantic story?” You sneer, rolling your eyes dramatically.

“Well, it clearly didn’t work.” Alhaitham almost snickers. finding amusement in your extroverted attitude. He jots down a few more noticeable signs of your defect. Your lips look like they’ve been bit a lot, your nails are brittle, and your hair is frizzy and not taken care of. These are pretty normal things that the nurses should be able to help with. But he does eye the areas that aren’t just normal, like the bruises that reached to your neck or the ones on your arms that the gown does little to hide.

As you ramble on about your not-so-perfect love story, Alhaitham flips through the history of your visitors. It’s been three weeks since you were hospitalized, and there has been only one visitor since the day you came. which he’d assume was your mother or father. “Not a lot of friends or family?” He interrupts, his tone maybe a tiny bit softer than how firm it usually is. simply out of respect, of course. “Yeah, well, when you choose to die on your hill, not everyone wants to watch." You chuckle, smiling a bit.

He’d think that smile wouldn’t meet your eyes—cliche, right? But it did—a smile that wasn't too happy and an expression that wasn't too happy. But he merely hums in agreement, having no words of comfort and fixing his binder.

“Anyways, a female doctor will come and do a physical inspection before we prepare for your x-ray appointment in a few days. Although it seems that the roots of the flower may be growing and causing damage from the inside, His words make you waver, looking down at your lap. Was this really a good choice? It’s probably too late for surgery—not like you want one, but...

Alhaitham studies the visible emotions crossing your face before heading towards the door. “Make sure you ask for some food; you’re heavily malnourished."

The next few weeks have been bland. You wake up around 10 AM, and usually the nurse you’ve learned to call, Ms.Candace, is bringing your food inside and having a small conversation with you. Eventually, she begins the morning routine, doing your hair with a nice side of warm herbal tea. Chapstick, nails, and a light pair of pajamas, and then talking about what you’d like to do for the rest of your day.

But just when you think you won't ever have to see that snobby doctor,

“Unfortunately for you, you won’t be able to go outside.” Alhaitham steps into the room, clipboard in hand, and shoots a look of no remorse towards your huff. “And why not? I haven’t seen the light of day for what feels like months."You scoff, making the blue-haired woman beside you sigh. "Well, miss, your body is already becoming slower, and there’s signs you are getting weaker in general. I'm sure he’s just wanting to prevent your state from getting any worse.” Yet her sweet words do little to calm the bubbling feeling within your chest.

You shake your head as she goes to walk out, giving the gray-haired man one more look before the door closes. He ignores it, “Anyway, after the results of your recent checkups, the estimate of how much time you have left to live was determined. but I doubt it’ll affect you considering you’re one stubborn woman." Alhaitham raises his eyebrows at you, anticipating your rebuttal before you can even get it out. but instead, you suddenly get into a fit of coughs. It’s like an eruption within your chest. the tiny tree within, sending an array of attacks.

You hate it—the prickly feeling that wells up, like knives cutting your insides as flowers sputter and fall into the palm of your hand. Your eyes water from the odd sensation you’ve lived with, and you question yourself with the same old question you uttered the day you made your decision.

Was it worth it?

Was it worth sticking with a man who never had to even speak of his loss of love for you? The yellow carnations were enough. Symbolizing the rejection you’ve faced from him, something you never thought you’d ever have to endure after your relationship was taken to the next level,

Alhaitham had grabbed the new form of medication you were going to start using, a syringe filled with yellow liquid. He grabs your arm, his eyes quickly traversing around your body, especially your throat, for signs that may be more alarming than they should be. He looks into your eyes, seeing the panic and fear that have swelled within them. “I know it hurts, but breathe...” He whispers, keeping your arm firmly still as the syringe prickles into your skin. You look away in fright. You hate needles, but you hate this even more.

The spiky feeling in your throat slowly subsides as you spit out some blood. "I'm fine now...” Your croaky voice makes him jeer, swiftly grabbing a band-aid for the little spot of blood on your arm. "You aren’t. You’re, quite literally, dying. Although it seems like you may be dying way faster than I thought.” He sighs, moving around the room and grabbing a few of your medications. “We'll have to give you stronger medication to reduce the pain. I'll have Ms. Candace and a few other people come help you," he says, leaving almost as quickly as he came.

The nurses come in within a short time, the room bustling with movement and questions being directed towards you. The blood staining the pretty gold ring on your finger makes you finally wake up.

You’re actually dying.

And it’s for a man who swears he could never love you again.

Oh, how tricky fate can be with those stupid I love you's.

“How’re you feeling?” Alhaitham mumurs. You’ve been ignoring the man who sat in front of you, all silent, ever since the fiasco yesterday. You could only stare down at the ring around your finger, twisting it and sometimes daring to fully shed it off your finger.

You don’t have the guts to do that, even if he did. without any hesitation either.

“With how much you talk, I'm surprised you aren’t yelling at me for just existing.” He muses, his eyes flickering from his clipboard up to where you sit on the hospital bed. You don’t have the energy to banter with him, "I'm not that childish.” “You’d be surprised." His mutter makes you jolt, your face twisting into a pout.

“It sounds like you just have a problem with me!” you gibe. but Alhaitham’s eyebrow raises. as if you hit the target with that one. "Possibly," he mumbles, focusing back on the papers in front of him. Your fusses fall dead on his ears.

His problem with you wasn’t bad—more like pity. Something he rarely feels for patients, only understanding their situations, giving affirmations, and moving on. but he finds your situation simply ridiculous. Not only are you dying for a man who left you for another, but he doesn’t even have the respect to pay for your medical fees. Not to mention, literally, your mother was the one who paid, only stating to him that she has no plans on visiting and that he was allowed to do whatever once you died.

What a heartless woman!

“Since you’re so absorbed in that paper—“ “You must not have an ‘off’ button.” His eye twitches at the tone of your annoyance, all sickly and sweet. He could practically hear the joke Cyno would make. "Actually, I do. and it’s counting down. Speaking of, you never told me how long I have left.” Okay, maybe you were a bit funny. and it’s something that should definitely not make his lips almost form into a smile. However, he clears his throat, not bothering to flip through the mountain of pages. considering he already memorized the information. “Two months at least. With the rate at which your body is deteriorating, the best you’ll be able to last is maybe an extra week or two.

Alhaitham’s stomach strangely twists at the sight of your mood dampening once again. your head looking back down to your arms, and your lips pressed tightly together. But it wasn’t like he cared; it’s just interesting to see how fast the light can disappear from one’s eyes. something he realized long ago that he'd see a lot of.

It’s probably just from how tense the room got all of a sudden. nothing he can’t handle.

Before you know it, droplets of tears fall onto the blanket bunched around your lap, like a rainfall that just doesn't stop. no matter how fast you bring your hands up to wipe them away. "Sorry, I'm just going—" “Go ahead. I see it every day." Alhaitham doesn’t let you argue. He pulls out a small handkerchief from his chest pocket, inscribed with the letter A in cursive. but he doesn’t mind your slight humiliation, or whatever it is making you uncomfortable in front of him, looking away and grabbing a piece of paper.

Once your blurry eyes are clear, you see that he has left you in silence, leaving behind a sheet of paper. clutching the white cloth, you read the words, a smile blooming on your face. Make a bucket list.

“Abiding by our policies, you can’t get your nails painted.” Alhaitham shuts down the 20th idea you had. He sat in the chair in front of you, avoiding the glare you threw at him and skimming through the third row. Maybe she should’ve predicted that a dying person would want to do exactly, one hundred and one, things before their death.

But it’s not like he’s done this before.

"Okay, what, can I do?!” You huff, already fed up with the word ‘no’. "Well, since you can’t go out, we can watch that movie, ’scream’, here." Alhaitham sighs, watching how your whole mood lit up, your eyes almost sparkling. This is going to be a long two months.

“mhm! what else.” You giggle, clapping your hands together. It’s almost comical to him to see how expressive you are. Looking back down at the paper he held, he began picking out some of the activities you would be able to do.

And in the end, you ended up winning him over in a few things, like being able to use some make-up for fun, more movies, specific snacks that you’ll have to eat at very specific times, board games that you convinced him to play with you, and basically anything and everything that you can do with the tiny little home of your room.

You even managed to persuade the silver-haired man to let you get some press-on nails. nails, which Candace, thankfully, went out to buy. but surprisingly, the doctor decided to put them on you himself. since Ms.Candace was attending to another patient and he had some free time. Well, at least that was his excuse. Not like you know, he was simply curious to see your excitement over something so small.

“That one fits the ring finger more.” You correct Alhaitham again, making him squint his eyes, mumbling under his breath, and moving his fingers to hold your hand firmer. And you just so happen to be right. He sets it aside carefully, putting it in the line of pretty pink and black gemmed nails. He picks up the last smaller nail, the one that finally fits your index finger perfectly.

“Isn’t it pretty?” You smile, adoring the nails, as he concentrates on applying the fake nails. He gives a low tsk, a faux look of confusion on his face. "Well, I dunno, they’re kinda...” he trails off, a neatly structured, stoic expression on his face that makes you roll your eyes. “They’re cute!” “If you say so.” Your adorable little glare makes him want to egg you on, but he stays silent for now.

Wait— Adorable? Maybe he has a headache from your nagging or something; there is nothing to worry about now.

You study his expression unknowingly; your eyes just so happened to need something to latch onto. And he’s clearly got a nice view. better than the nails. The small scrunch of his eyebrows is obviously dedicated to something so simple that it almost concerns you. Even the way he holds your hands up is tender, contrasting with his slightly calloused hands. He has a beautiful face too, and you think you can see some muscles hidden under his coat.

Sculpted so gorgeously. Funny, for such a snarky man.

“How old are you?” You blurt out, looking up at him as he glances at you in confusion. “Why?” He asks softly, almost done with your second hand as you contemplate. “Just curious.” “Curiosity killed the” “but satisfaction brought it back.” You finish before he can fully say the little saying. A small smirk of victory forms on your lips when he gives you a look that just radiates sass.

“Twenty-seven.” He gruffed. Perfect. “How did you even become a doctor so young?" You question him, a look of surprise crossing your face as he shrugs. “A few golden opportunities.” “Wait, are you not going to ask me how old I am?” You’re so clueless, Alhaitham thinks. “I’m your doctor. You must really not have a brain.” And you scoff at his words, but yet another question pops into your head. “Anyways! Favorite color?” “Are you serious, right now?" “If you don’t answer, I will personally file a complaint." "Green."

You two eventually ended up having a long conversation, with you asking him questions and him answering reluctantly. But what made it so long was him turning it on you and asking a few questions that you gladly responded to. All the while, he held one of your hands, not ever thinking to let go and just studying the ring you still wear. What a bubbly woman you are.

Alhaitham nearly let a curse out to the man who wronged you when you mentioned him once. He doesn’t care much, but how can someone be so stupid?

Alhaitham looks at the time on his watch. Two-thirty. Zipping up his lunch box, he heads towards the elevator, making a small stop in the room full of medicines. He ignores the calls in his name from other doctors or nurses who simply want to know more about the quiet man. He hates spending his breaks around people. Sadly, this just so happens to be one of the times when he’d love to have his headphones.

But duty calls.

He taps the button to go to the ninth floor, where your room is. Today is your movie day. That just so happened to land on Friday, the thirteenth too. He swipes through his notes, finding the password to his Hulu subscription. He only bought that for the movie series you like to watch on the smart TV installed in your room. *’Scream’ was it? Today you two were watching the fifth one, and you somehow logged him out for the third time within a week. Ms. Candace said you were snooping through the account settings or something like that.

What a hassle you are!

He reaches the high floor after a few seconds, making his way to your room and memorizing the password that he surprisingly always forgets. But, when he opens the door, he’s greeted with the sight of you fast asleep. Something makes him dread the energy you’ll have later in the evening, but he’s mindful of your rest. Placing his bags on the table silently and taking off his coat, he put it on the hook of the door.

The silence within your room is nice, for once. Usually, only the tension of your attitude or sadness would lie in the silence of this room. But only your light snores and the small drag of a chair were heard. Alhaitham moves to sit in a corner, thinking about leaving and having an extended break or waiting for you until you wake. But he picks the latter, crossing his arms and legs, leaning back, and letting his eyes drift onto your figure.

His mind was maybe a bit more active than before. He doesn’t know why, but he finds himself thinking of you more often: your health, your many expressions, your cheeky smiles, the dumb stuff that comes out of your mouth, and your eyes. To him, eyes are the purest form of honesty. like how yours can look like saucers when you’re shocked or diamonds when you're happy. or a pit of sadness.

Sadness. Alhaitham would think your only source of sadness in life was that fiancé of yours. Well, ex by now. A man who caused you so much pain that you’ve decided to live and die with. How could you ever love again if you’re so committed like this? But Alhaitham won’t ask you such things, out of respect, of course. It’s not like he’ll be pondering over them in a few weeks.

He shakes off the weird thoughts, dozing off.

You woke up to the sight. ‘What a sight for sore eyes.’ You quote in your head. You almost want to wipe away your eyes with how fine that man looks. Despite how creepy it was to notice the doctor in the corner of your room, His head was leaned against the wall, and his body stilled like stone as he slept. And his arms—Oh his arms. His arms were practically bulging out the scrubs he wore, so muscular. You almost want to touch them. Well, at least you know he keeps up with his gym regimen. Good thing he’s sleeping; now you can admire him more.

“You must have a staring problem.”

Maybe not.

His voice was a bit raspy, laced with tiredness as his eyes fluttered open, straight to you. “Why didn’t you wake me?” You divert him. Eyes away from him with an obvious flustered expression on your face. Alhaitham’s lips tug into a tiny, knowing smile, humored. But he decides to play along and not tease you any longer. “I’m not going to interfere with a patient's sleep.” He sighs, standing tall and going to put back on his coat. He checks the time. 4 PM.

“Before you watch your movie full of blood, you need your dosage.” Alhaitham ignores your whine in response, picking up the wrapped syringe in his white bag. “Ugh, why do I have to do three a day anyway? I’m feeling well.” You huff, holding out your arm as he walks to you, closing your eyes in anticipation. “That’s exactly why.” He mutters, holding your arm gently. “Breathe.” He says it softly, feeling your fast heartbeat on your wrist. “I clearly am." "Well, calm down.”

You purse your lips, complying and taking some deep breaths. Once his thumb presses the familiar spot between your forearm and arm, you feel the prick in your skin. Then comes the tingly feeling of fluid entering your body. You shiver, unexpectedly clutching his hand as your chest tightens. Alhaitham watches in interest, allowing you to hold onto him until the pain passes. "Can we watch that movie now?" You mumble, making him give your hand a final squeeze before letting go.

He grabs the remote on the table, turns on the TV, and flicks through the streaming services. “Hmm, I’m not sure. I think you like looking at something else,” he offhandedly mentions, giving you a small jab at your earlier actions and glancing down at the little funny face you gave him. “Oh c’mon!”

“What? It was just an assumption."

“But! Ugh!”

“Again!” You groan before Alhaitham can even slot his red chip into the blue holder. You’ve lost maybe five or six games of Connect Four now, sitting at this stupid table with this stupid game for maybe an hour and a half. "No, I can do it." Alhaitham says this while sitting back into his chair with that signature cross of his legs. “And why is that?” “It’s getting late.” And you pout, laying your head on the table as he watches you.

Those little target-like eyes of his drill into you. Moreso, the purple veins that have formed on your neck over the past month The area is dark, and the veins are even darker. There were parts of your body that suffered from the disease; your health was deteriorating so badly that it made him sick. You’ve become slower, unable to even stay awake for longer than eight hours. He and Ms. Candace have been hovering over you with every last second of your life, with the knowledge that you could drop dead at any moment.

“Not a good look, huh?" You murmur, feeling awful under his watchful gaze. And Alhaitham’s cocks his head, not entertained by your words. “Did I say that?”

"It's on your face."

“You have poor judgment, then."

And your face scrunches up, looking at him with an annoyed look. “What else would you think, then?” Alhaitham bites his tongue. something he doesn’t do a lot. Well, not at all. It’s not like him to interfere with a patient's choice, but...

“I’d think that you should get that operation.” He sighs, not bothering to take his eyes off you as you turn your head away. “Doctor. You know I—“ “Are you seriously letting a man who isn’t here dictate how your life ends?” He scoffs, letting a tone of disbelief creep into his voice before realizing his own words. But Alhaitham doesn’t correct himself.

He was already correct.

"Okay, well, why do you care? And yes, I know you’re my doctor and everything, but, you don’t act like this." You give him a pointed look, sliding the lever of the blue grid and letting the coins fall into the bin. “I’m just saying. Anyone in their right mind would at least be honest with you about this.” Alhaitham shrugs, but the truth is that he truly could not stand to see you like this. So in his right mind, he did the least he could do.

It's not like you know his true feelings.

You ponder over his words, playing with the ring on your left hand. He was right. But perhaps you expected too much from that damned man, the man you fell in love with classically, high school sweethearts who swore to marry, and oh, how so close you were to that dream.

Not every story has a happy ending.

But who were you to let some shitty man write your story’s ending while he goes to some fucking island with his fucking bimbo?

An idiot is what you’d be.

“Sure.” You whisper, bringing your elbow up and laying your head on your hand. Alhaitham gives you a look of satisfaction, a knowing smile forming on his face as he stands up. “I knew you weren’t that dumb.” “You know nothing!” You scoff, your chest bubbling with excitement for your future as you get ready to put away the board game. But he pulls the grid towards him and says, "You won’t need this here. I’ll just take it home.” He says it casually, making you pause.

“But it was a gift to me? Why—" “Do you seriously not know how to take a hint?” What’s with this man always interrupting you? You scowl. Hint? What hint—"Oh, wait—are you like, inviting, me over or something?” And Alhaitham only makes a sound of agreement, dropping the chips in the bin into the box. “yea, and I won’t be your surgeon, obviously. But once the day of your appointment comes, you won’t see me around. Just talk to Ms. Candace after they release you."

Alhaitham cleans up as you tuck yourself into bed, playing the background show of your choice before leaving with a small click of the door.

You can’t believe it. You aren’t dying in three weeks. and you’re going on a date. Well, in a month, but still!

“Um, should I just call him? I don’t want you to trouble you any longer. You were dressed in a fine black dress that Candace willingly gave to you. Your body healed after the operation within a few weeks of rest and food. You hadn’t seen the doctor—well, Alhaitham—since the day before your appointment.

So basically, a long time.

But after getting released from the hospital, Candace took you in and helped you familiarize yourself with life. And she just so happened to tell a specific man that you made a full recovery. which his immediate reply was, for you to come over to his house for dinner.

It was about time for him to properly pursue you.

“Oh? You must be eager to see him. He’s just a little car ride away, but if you insist, Candace teases, her eyes glimmering in amusement as she hands you your phone. You look at yourself in the mirror again; it feels so refreshing to actually see yourself healthy, not scrawny and filled with scotches of purple on your skin.

You spent over an hour in the mirror, buttering yourself up with some light makeup of your choice and admiring yourself.

You take the phone from her hand, chewing on your bottom lip nervously as you get to his contact. "There is no need to be nervous. I’m sure he’d swoon just from the sound of your voice.” She smiles, making you laugh, and clicks the call button. "Oh, please, he’s not that—

"You finally called."

You shiver at the sound of his voice. Who the hell answers the phone so quickly? “Sorry, but, uh, I was wondering if you could come pick me up." You aren’t sure how the tone of your voice got meek so quickly, but for some reason, it makes him chuckle. “*yea? I’m already on my way.” Maybe you were too sick to realize how hot his voice actually is, even just on the phone.

Candace notices how stiff you are, clearly flustered and shy. She leans to the phone and says, “What a gentleman you are! I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you! She might lose her head if you don’t hurry.” She sings, clicking the red button as you fall into her hug.

You two talk about some things you might be interested in doing in the future, like continuing your career and education in technology or finding a job soon so you can get out of her hair. It really feels nice, like you’re actually becoming something rather than being a little housewife with a fiancé who never took the time to love you.

You drift away from the conversation on cereal before milk when you hear a honk outside. Candace jumps up, holding your hand and guiding you to the door. “I feel like a mother,” she smiles, making you give her a grin. “You’re younger than me!” “But I’m wiser. Have a nice night, hun.” She opens the door for you, giving you the sight of a Black Cadillac parked beside her driveway.

You walked down the driveway nervously, clutching the sides of your dress with your purse in your other hand. Just as you reach the car, Alhaitham gets out, walking around to open your door but stopping you with a hand just barely ghosting your waist.

You two stare into each other's eyes, a light breeze blowing through the evening air as he looks you up and down. while you do the same. It felt like a blessing to be able to see his figure without those stupid scrubs. He wore a gray button-up with black slacks, simple but fitting. with some small amounts of jewelry that complement him well. Before you can even try your hand at being confident, he speaks before you: “You look decent." "I spent over two hours on this outfit! And you say, "Decent?"You huff playfully, the weight of your heart already dissipating when he gives an airy laugh, opening the door.

“Then I apologize..gorgeous." “That is so corny.” You jest, despite the increase in blood flowing to your cheeks. “I tried. But I was honest.” He sighs, almost disappointedly, but is careful of your legs before closing the door. Your mind races as you get comfortable in the car, noticing the light scent of cologne. How fancy.

At least it was better than those strong perfumes. like a dark, regal scent, but brisk.

“I was hoping to make you dinner, and then we can play another game I bought for you.” Alhaitham gets in, buckling up before giving Candace, who stood at her door, a small wave. “Yea?” “Yea.” You smile bashfully, your cheek bones betraying you as you hold your hand out. “I’d like that.” And Alhaitham returns your smile, examining your hand.

No ring. But he already has one in mind.

It’ll be silver.

He puts his hand in yours, interlocking it and squeezing firmly. “And I promise you’ll love it.”

Hopefully, you’ll love him too.

#genshin x female reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin fluff #gesnhin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin x you #alhaitham x you #alhaitham x y/n #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham #al haitam x reader #al haithem #alhaitham x female reader

[wlntrsldler]

Hiiiiii!!!! I love Apple Pie by Lizzy McAlpine!! Can I get Jamie Tartt to apple pie?

apple pie | jamie tartt

based on the song apple pie by lizzy mcalpine

description: jamie gets insecure sometimes, but having you with him helps.

pairing: jamie tartt x actress!reader (f!reader she/her)

warnings: lots of kissing, self-doubt, insecurities, mention of jamie's dad

word count: 2631

ted lasso requests are open | main masterlist

When Jamie first got into a relationship with you, he knew that both of your busy schedules would pose a problem down the road. With his football career seemingly reaching new peaks every season and your acting career taking off after being cast in what is being called “the film that revived the dying genre of romantic comedies,” the amount of time you get to spend with each other decreased significantly since the start of your relationship. 

You first met Jamie halfway through his returning season at AFC Richmond. You met him at a birthday dinner party for a friend of a friend where you relentlessly teased him for his ridiculous, but outstanding performance, on Lust Conquers All. You had originally praised him for it when you were fully under the impression that he was putting on an act. You didn’t find out that he was just being his prick-ish self, albeit his younger prick-ish self, until about four months into your relationship when he embarrassedly admitted it to you. That’s how you found yourself rewatching the entire season together on his couch until 2 hours before Roy knocked on his door for his training session. 

At first, Jamie thought you were making fun of him. His insecurities would still peek in here and there and sometimes he couldn’t help but worry that you’d see him as nothing more than a dumb footballer like everyone else does. He quickly realized, though, that while you were losing your mind laughing at how he acted in the show, making fun of him was the last thing you wanted to do. 

“Why’d ya wanna watch this shit anyways?” he grumbled, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. “It’s just poopy. ‘M not even like that anymore.” 

“I know,” you sat up, pausing the show when you heard his voice crack. You knew the tone of Jamie’s voice when he was cracking jokes and when he was happy, and this voice wasn’t one or the other. You turned your body to face him, “I know you aren’t like this anymore, I just thought it would be funny.” 

“I dunno, I suppose it doesn’t make much sense to me.” 

“What doesn’t?” you questioned. “Why I want to watch it?” 

“Yeah,” Jamie replied. His eyes were looking at everything but at you. He was playing with the threads of the blanket loosely draped over his legs. He rubbed his nose with his balled-up fist. “Why does it matter how I was before you? I’m better now, yeah? Unless you don’t think so...” 

“Oh, love,” you grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you. You were so engrossed in the episode on the TV that you didn’t realize how uncomfortable Jamie was feeling about the whole situation. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been paying more attention to how you were feeling about this. We can stop watching it.” 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He hummed, tugging on your hoodie to pull you closer to him. “I just don’t want you to see how I used to be and realize you don’t want to be with a prick like that, even if I have changed, you know? I don’t know… I just thought that with ya, I’d have a fresh start.” 

“Jamie Tartt, enough of that now,” You took over being the big spoon, which made Jamie nuzzle into your neck contently, “You have changed. You’re an amazing man and the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. I only wanted to watch this show because it’s such a shitty show that it’s nice to just unwind. When I watch this Jamie on the screen, my brain can’t even comprehend that it’s you.” 

“You don’t think I’m a prick anymore, yeah?” Jamie asked again, hoping that he’d get a confirmation, “Like you wouldn’t leave me over that?”

You’ve learned over the past few months things about Jamie– one of which is that he needs to be told positive things or else he’d spiral. The thing is, if you could go into his mind and turn off that control box that spews self-doubt and insecurities to him, you would do it in a heartbeat. But since you can’t, you were more than happy to shower him with love and adoration in hopes that your voice can drown the rest of them out. 

“Never,” you placed your lips on his in a soft kiss. “You’d have to work a hell of a lot harder to get rid of me.” 

“I’m working double overtime just so you’d keep me, love,” he murmured, pulling you in for another kiss. His hand reached for the remote to turn the TV off to leave you both in the glow of the floor lamp in his living room. 

“You don’t have to work hard for that.” 

Jamie had gotten used to having you around his flat. He would leave for 4 AM training with Roy with you on his bed, often naked, then return at around 6:30 AM to shower and join you back in bed for another hour before you woke up. He’d wake up for the second time that day with you drawing patterns on his chest and a soft smile on your face. He’d lean over and place a loving kiss on your lips and he’d feel prepared to start the day. 

You were filming a show in London for three months, which meant that for three months, this was Jamie’s life. In between projects, you stayed at his place. For two weeks after the wrap party, you came home to him, visited him at the facility, and went to all the team outings, home games, and away games with him. He was with you 24/7 and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He didn’t realize how he took it for granted until filming ended.

Three weeks ago, you flew to New York City to begin filming another movie. With training and games, Jamie hasn’t been able to take time off to visit you, and with filming just starting, you couldn’t fly back to Richmond either. 

Jamie was doing fine– as fine as someone can be when their daily routine was abruptly disrupted. He was proud of you. The premise of the movie seemed perfect for you and was a seamless continuation of the romantic comedy trend you were on. People were buzzing for your next project, especially after your last one was so well received. He was so proud of you…. But he also missed you. 

During the three weeks that you were gone, you and Jamie still texted each other constantly and FaceTimed everyday, despite the crazy time difference. He wanted to make it work, and so did you, so you did what you could to stay in touch. While not being able to hold you and kiss you for three weeks was killing Jamie, he was glad he was still able to spend time with you. Things didn’t get to Jamie until Jan Maas made an off-handed comment about it.

All of them were packing up after training, feeling extremely antsy with the Man City match on the horizon, Jamie especially. There were a lot of things on his mind, including the possibility of seeing his father, who he hadn’t seen since Wembley, and playing against his old team was always a trip. In short, he wasn’t feeling his best and the fact that you weren’t nearby made it worse. 

“Jamie, we have not seen Y/N in a while,” Sam noted, “Is everything okay with you two?” 

“She’s filming a movie in New York, bruv,” Isaac replied before Jamie could speak, “Right, Tartt?” 

Jamie nodded, putting his shirt over his head, “Yeah. She’ll be gone for a few months, at least.” 

“I do not know how you’re gonna survive, Jamie,” Jan Maas said. “You are so clingy when it comes to her. I don’t think you can make it all those months.” 

The rest of the team chuckled at Jan’s teasing tone, but Jamie furrowed his eyebrows in thought. Was he clingy? He frowned as he continued to put his things away. He picked up his phone from his cubby, smiling when he received a few messages from you while he was at training. As he was about to respond, Jan’s comment made him stop in his tracks. 

Maybe it would be best to let you have a night to yourself. You had a life outside of him and you deserve to be able to live it without having him cling to you all the time. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, slipping his phone in his back pocket, before walking out of the locker room to head to his place. 

When you woke up to no text from Jamie, you assumed that he was just worn out from training and didn’t have the energy to reply. You’ve seen the intense training he went through, so you wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. But as the day went on and there was still no word from Jamie– you’d even checked the timezone clock on your phone to make sure you weren’t being unreasonable– you began to worry. FaceTime calls went unanswered and instead, you were met with the Apple automated response, “Sorry, can’t talk right now.” 

To: lover boy <3

“Hi, love. Got some exciting news, you free to chat? Xx” 

By the time you were boarding the plane to Manchester, Jamie still hadn’t texted you back. After begging the producers to give you a week off filming, they finally agreed. You asked for this week in particular, knowing that you wanted to be there for Jamie for the Man City match. There was a lot on the line for Jamie and you wanted to be there for him no matter what happened. 

The entire plane ride back to England was filled with dread and anxiety. It wasn’t like Jamie to not respond. Unless he was at a game, training, or sleeping, but even then he had a special ringtone for you that wakes him up whenever you called, he always replied to your messages as soon as possible. When you landed, everything that could go wrong went wrong. Your plane was stuck on the tarmac for an hour because there were problems with the gate. Your luggage got delayed which left you sitting at baggage claim for another 45 minutes. When you finally arrived at the hotel the team was staying at– shoutout to Ted for being yours and Jamie’s number one supporter and telling you where they were staying– Jamie was nowhere to be found. 

You dragged your luggage to Jamie’s room, plopping on the bed tiredly. You glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. 9:28 PM. Ted mentioned that there was a 10 PM curfew so you hoped that tonight was not one of the nights where Jamie decided to break the rules. Ted also mentioned that Jamie has not been himself lately, which did nothing to soothe your panic. You hopped in the shower to rinse yourself from the long day you’ve had. You did your night routine and dug into Jamie’s bag to retrieve his AFC Richmond hoodie. Before putting it on, you held it up to your nose, sighing as your senses were filled with Jamie. You missed him. 

It was 9:57 PM when you heard the door unlock. You were on his bed, scrolling aimlessly on social media, when you saw him. You sat up, shutting your phone off. He walked in with his head low. His shoulders were hunched over a bit, but he looked okay. He looked better than how Ted described him. 

He kicked off his shoes, before looking at you on his bed, startled. His eyes widened, first in fear that there was someone in his room, then in surprise that it was you in his room. His lips curved down in a frown, eyebrows furrowed in sadness. 

“Baby,” you whispered, moving to the side of the bed to make room for him. 

Jamie knew that he needed to not be clingy. He didn’t want to bother you too much. He was trying to be cool. But when you called him “baby,” with that voice, in his hoodie on his bed, his resolve crumbled to pieces.

He ran to you, nearly tackling you off the bed when he engulfed you in his arms. He buried his face in your neck, a mix of your lotion and the cologne he sprays on his clothes surrounding him. You cradled the back of his head, mumbling how much you missed him into his shoulder. Jamie could cry. He hasn’t seen you in so long, but here you are now. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked when he finally pulled away from you. He couldn’t stray too far though. His arm was still wrapped around you while you cuddled into his side. “I thought you were in New York.” 

“Well, if you bothered to answer my texts,” you trailed off, faking a voice of sadness. You poked his side, “You would’ve seen that I had exciting news. The producers gave me a week off after begging them since I first got to New York and this week is perfect because I know tomorrow’s match is gonna be a lot for you. I wanted to be here for you, whatever the outcome is.” 

“Oh.” Jamie was speechless. Here he was ignoring you like a prick while you were planning to come back just to be here for him. He didn’t deserve you. 

“Yeah,” you continued, “If tomorrow we celebrate, I’ll be here making sure that you drink enough water so that your hangover the next day won’t be too much. If tomorrow we try to never think about it again, I’ll sit next to you on the bus in silence holding your hand and when we get home we can do the same thing.” 

Home. You were here and he felt like he was home. 

“I missed you so much,” Jamie sighed. He kissed you all over your face, giving your lips extra attention. “‘M sorry if I was bothering you by texting and calling so much over the last few weeks… I just missed you loads and I wanted to talk to you.” 

“Baby, you didn’t text and call me enough,” you played with his hair, running your fingers through the strands. “If it was possible, I would stay on a call with you all day, everyday. Can’t get enough of ya.” 

He smiled, his worries disappearing with every word you said, “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah, I love you, Jamie Tartt.” You kissed him deeply. “Couldn’t get tired of you even after a million years. Now, catch me up! Tell me everything.” 

Jamie, feeling like himself again, began to tell you everything you missed over the last few weeks– meeting Sam’s father, meeting Ted’s mum, Roy and Keeley, and seeing his mum earlier that night, which is why he came home late. He talked about how a visit to Georgie and Simon helped lift his spirits, and how Georgie was gushing about you and asking him when you’ll come to visit again. 

Then he talked about his fears for tomorrow and everything that’s been piling up on him ever since you left. As he spoke, you rubbed his back comfortingly, a small reminder that you’ll always be here no matter what. 

Jamie knew that he still had a lot of work to do. He knew that his insecurities could get the best of him sometimes and it can cause him to push back on people who love and care about him, but he was trying. You believed in him and that’s all he needed.

#ted lasso fics #ted lasso #ted lasso imagines #ted lasso imagine #jamie tartt #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt fanfic #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt x yn #jamie tartt oneshot #frances writes #frances song fics

[copperbadge]

So as part of the whole "it'd sure be nice if I had control over my own emotions" thing, I've been taking this class in mindfulness, part of which is about distress tolerance. There's a focus on the body in a lot of this that makes sense in the "it's easier to trigger a physical response than do hours of therapy to manage the emotional one" way, and it's science-based so I respect it, but it also reeks of "why don't you go do yoga about it" in a way I can't shake.

Still, I'm trying to be open to new therapeutic ideas, so since I'm having a bad day and was in the bathroom anyway I thought, I'll try the mammalian dive response. Purportedly, if you hold your breath and dunk your face in cold water, after about 20 seconds you trigger a "dive response" that slows your heart rate and calms anxiety. They recommend if you can't immerse your face, covering your eyes and nostrils with a cold wet cloth also works, so I used a wet washcloth. I don't like being wet when I'm not actively in a body of water, but I figured if it worked at least I could tolerate it.

I don't know if I did it wrong or if my wiring really is that crossed but what I experienced after 40 seconds of holding my breath with a wet face is "Oh, you can't see or breathe and you're wet? Guess you're drowning."

I mean it worked in that I've spent half an hour distracted from my shitty mood while trying to calm down from almost drowning, but I do not think this is a functional long-term solution to the problem.

#sam has adhd #not yet fired from therapy

[raedas]

where in the locked tomb universe are we?

or: a tentative guide to the solar system in the locked tomb and which houses go where :)

[id: a diagram of the solar system, including pluto, with additional white text overlaid over each body. the sun is labeled dominicus, mercury is labeled the sixth, venus is the seventh, earth is the first, mars is the second, jupiter is the third, saturn is the fifth, uranus is the fourth, neptune is the eight, and pluto is the ninth. /end id]

note: i'm pretty sure people have put together similar analyses before, but i wanted to try my own hand at it! and please feel free to share if you disagree with me on anything & your own evidence and thoughts <3

evidence & analysis under the cut!

THE NINTH HOUSE:

okay, this one is pretty much just a freebie. if you didn't know that the ninth house was on pluto, then, uh... sorry! i'm not going to exhaustively go through all the evidence for this one, but some things that stick out are the cold, gideon's awe at how close the first house is to the sun, and the fact that it's the "ninth" to begin with—the house that wasn't really meant to exist, perfectly in line with the planet that isn't really a planet THE FIRST HOUSE:

this one is given to us just as much, if not moreso, than the ninth. with that in mind, i'm just going to do a quick run through of the evidence that the first house is earth: it's very blue and covered in water, there are ruins of civilization, it's "the first", so on and so forth. home, sweet home :)

THE SIXTH HOUSE:

Then he said, "The sun has stabilized. Hope the Sixth House didn't get cooked in the flare." (Harrow the Ninth, 490)

this line is pretty much the entire selling point for the sixth being on mercury, the closest planet to the sun! (until they run away to the other side of the universe, that is)

THE SEVENTH HOUSE:

There were other planets that made their homelands closer to the burning star of Dominicus--the Seventh and Sixth, for instance--but to Gideon they could not imaginably be anything else than 100 percent on fire. (Gideon the Ninth, 67)

the implication here is fairly obvious: the seventh and sixth are on venus and mercury, or vice versa. thankfully, since we have the sixth squared away as mercury, it's pretty obvious that the seventh is located on venus

BONUS MYTHOLOGY FACT: venus is the roman goddess of beauty! (also known by her greek name, aphrodite). "seven for beauty that blossoms and dies", huh?

THE EIGHTH HOUSE:

"I squeal so long and so loud that they hear me from the Eighth." (Gideon the Ninth, 26)

while this line is obvious hyperbole, to me it implies one of two things: either the eighth is the farthest planet from the ninth, or it's right next to them. and since we know that mercury already has its hands full with sixth house, i think it's safe to assume that the eighth is on neptune, the ninth's next door neighbor :)

THE SECOND HOUSE:

"We went through the same shitty questions of what to do. What about the Mars installation, what about the fusion batteries?" (Nona the Ninth, 74)

john helpfully offers this tidbit to us when he's recounting everything that happened leading up to the apocalypse to harrow. i think it says a lot that there was a mars installation even before the apocalypse properly hit, and it makes sense that said installation would eventually become a proper House, with a capital H

BONUS MYTHOLOGY FACT: mars is the roman god of warfare (known in greek as ares)! looks at the second house and how closely they're associated the cohort... yeah, i think that speaks for itself

THE THIRD & FIFTH HOUSES:

"I thought we'd end up on the Third or the Fifth, or a sweet space station, or something." (Gideon the Ninth, 56)

"We are not becoming an appendix of the Third or Fifth Houses," continued the necromancer opposite." (Gideon the Ninth, 58)

okay, here's this bit where things begin to get a bit hairy. repeatedly throughout the books, we're told about how the third and fifth are the two "big" houses. harrow's scared of them and worried they'll make the ninth one of their appendixes, gideon originally thinks the entire lyctoral meeting will be on one of their planets, so on and so forth. with that in mind, it really isn't that much of a stretch to think they'd be situated on the two giants in our solar system: jupiter and saturn. we'll come back in a moment to sort out which is which!

THE FOURTH HOUSE:

aaaand uranus is the only planet left! congrats, fourth!

THE THIRD & FIFTH HOUSES (again):

"Naturally [Isaac] is Pent's protégé. I hear the Fifth takes special pains with the Fourth... hegemonic pains, some may say." (Gideon the Ninth, 170)

from this quote, as well as the whole of jeannemary & isaac's relationship with magnus & abigail, we can surmise that the fourth house is very close to the fifth house (hegemonic though it may be). it's reasonable that that metaphorical proximity is reflecting (or caused by) something else: physical proximity. with that, i think it's fairly safe to assume that the fifth is on saturn, putting the third on jupiter

DOMINICUS:

aaand finally, the center of the solar system itself! i really, really don't think it needs sharing that dominicus is the sun, as long as you accept that the locked tomb takes place in our own solar system. however, i do think the meaning of dominicus is worth sharing. coming from latin, it translates roughly to "lordly", "belonging to god", or "of the master." very subtle, john, very subtle.

#shamsisms #tlt #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #god this post took me like 2 hours to put together. hii #i swear im going to find a typo as soon as i post this but. oh well. im not spending any more time on this post atm #also the page numbers are based on my paperback copies! i think they should be the same in hardcover but im not entirely sure

[genderkoolaid]

Do you genuinely believe we can somehow change the hearts and minds of billionaires and politicians in power in for example the USA in a way that will actually result in a radical change in and improvement of conditions for folks currently oppressed under capitalism in the USA and hopefully globally? If so, how?

This is coming from someone who really would like to believe pure nonviolence is possible but who does not see much of an actual way forward for that. That said I do not see those billionaires and politicians as "nonhuman", I don't think that's productive and I think dehumanizing anyone who is factually a human person as a practice is dangerous so I am in agreement with you there. Thanks for your time if you choose to share your thoughts.

What I like about Against the Logic of the Guillotine is that it isn't for pure nonviolence. It breaks down the false binary that our options are "let the streets run red with blood until our every thirst for revenge is slaked" or "punching nazis makes you as bad as them 🥺"

& i think that binary is tempting because it absolves us of a responsibility to think deeply about things. if all revolutionary violence is good and justified, then you don't have to think too hard about the violence, you just see it & condone it. If all violence is bad and morally evil, then you still don't have to think too hard to condemn it. Our options are like, moral baby food.

But if we reject that binary, then there is no easy answer. Its not as easy as "yes leftist violence is always justified" or "any violence ever is always unjustified." You have to ask yourself, what am I doing? Why? What does this accomplish? Who is affected by this? What do they have to say? It makes us look at the actual nature of our violence and pick it apart and see where we have fucked up and where we might fuck up again. Its a lot more messy and also requires that we form relationships with others & genuinely listen to what they have to say. Its much much harder than Violence Good or Violence Bad but its also much more capable of adapting to the needs of people in the complicated situations where we find ourselves.

My opinion is that we will not reach anti-capitalism and anti-imperialism without violence. But more than anything, its because the systems in power will not let us. I think the foundation of the Revolution (in a more abstract sense of the word) must be community. We should focus our efforts most on building local networks of mutual support. If people suddenly find themself in a community that has free public food gardens & a community fridge, where people are already practicing transformative justice, etc. etc. then it will become materially obvious that we don't need to rely on the current system to survive. It will become clear that the current system is more of a hindrance to what we could do if we were not being controlled. And then people will be more likely to support any revolutionary violence that becomes necessary, because they will see their neighbors and know that when the dust settles, they know how to care for each other through shitty situations. Violence should really be the topping on a cake of community & indispensability politics.

Also this line from AtLotG really changed my perspective on "punishing the rich":

The worst punishment anyone could inflict on those who govern and police us today would be to compel them to live in a society in which everything they’ve done is regarded as embarrassing—for them to have to sit in assemblies in which no one listens to them, to go on living among us without any special privileges in full awareness of the harm they have done. If we fantasize about anything, let us fantasize about making our movements so strong that we will hardly have to kill anyone to overthrow the state and abolish capitalism. This is more becoming of our dignity as partisans of liberation.

"If we fantasize about anything, let us fantasize about making our movements so strong that we will hardly have to kill anyone to overthrow the state and abolish capitalism" really sums it up for me.

#sorry if this is kind of a mess i am So pain and fatigue rn #my body is taking disability pride month way too seriously #m. #ask box

[serpentarius]

been trying to wrap my head around the cancellation of "Our Flag Means Death" and why it hurts so fucking much. lots of folks who are much more eloquent than I have summed it up perfectly, but I still think it’s important I add my voice to the matter. 

It really, really sucks that the hurt is being compounded on us every time another queer/minority-led show gets prematurely cancelled. and for a long while, we also had to deal with the many shows that deliberately queerbaited us, which was a shitty and traumatic experience unto its own. And even though we’ve largely surpassed that early-‘00s-flavoured brand of queerbait now, mainstream queer media is still predominantly white-led. With the cancellation of OFMD, we've lost one of the very few intersectional queer shows in the mainstream. Shouldn’t we be beyond asking for crumbs at this point? Shouldn’t we get unabashedly intersectional shows helmed by and starring queer, BIPOC, and trans folks without them being axed for no rhyme or reason?

It’s exhausting at this point, honestly. OFMD has done so well in terms of viewership and engagement and fan response—almost entirely due to word of mouth and little thanks to the Max marketing team, mind you—and even still the show got cancelled? Can they make it make sense????

For me, the thing most akin to this OFMD situation was when Sense8 got cancelled. And yes, the fandom fought, and we eventually DID get a movie that wrapped things up years later! That gives me hope for OFMD, that maybe another network will pick it up, or maybe they’ll be able to make a movie someday. But what makes me sad about cases like Sense8 is knowing that the creators still had to force the narrative around the amount of time they were given. That the corporate overlords who only care about numbers and profit dictated how much time they had to wrap up their story.

And it fucking kills me that DJ only wanted one more season. One more season to complete the vision.

I'm just so mad that queer people are constantly being jerked around and used for profit and then left high and dry. And then we're given excuses like "oh there's no budget" or "oh there's not enough viewership, that's all it is". like, sure, maybe those are contributing factors, but then I look at all the useless garbage shows that have little viewership and high budgets that keep going forever and then I think "hmmmm, the math ain't mathing." It's fucking transparent; the corporations can spew all they want with their rainbow capitalism and talks about diversity, but the evidence is clear, and they can't convince me homophobia/racism/transphobia/etc. is not a factor in these decisions.

Anyways, back to OFMD. OFMD made me fall in love with fandom again. I drifted away from fandom for a while in my 20s, and while OFMD wasn't the first fandom that drew me back into the madness, it's certainly the largest. The sheer amount of creativity both within the show and outside of it has blown me away; I've read some of the best fics, seen some of the best art, and witnessed some of the most incredible creativity from people in this fandom.

And let's not forget the role of the show's creators and how they've interacted with us fans. They made us feel seen. And made us feel loved and valid, even when we were being weird and loud and horny. It's so fucking rare to see that. But they understood; understood that the show they made was for us, for any of us who've been marginalized or made to feel Othered or different or stuck in life or unsure of our identities. And they gave us so much love for it.

The story... man. The unique combination of quirky humour and bright visuals and dark, introspective moments, the gorgeous costumes and soft, lovely, unabashed queerness, and veteran actors and new actors all getting to shine, brilliant comedic actors getting to show off their dramatic chops and vice versa. For me, seeing Rhys Darby - an actor I've loved for a long time, but who I never thought I'd see in a leading role - getting to be the romantic lead in a queer role? And seeing acclaimed director/producer/screenwriter/actor Taika Waititi play opposite Rhys, as an indigenous Blackbeard? Fucking incredible. OFMD Edward Teach you will always be famous to me.

Anyways... despite my long ramblings here, I still don’t think I've been able to get to the root of WHY exactly this show has inched its way under my skin and stayed with me in the way it has. Maybe I'll spend years trying to understand it. But I DO know that it's in part to do with seeing both older queers AND a diverse range of queerness onscreen, in a way that I've never seen in media before. I DO know that OFMD has forced me to look inwardly, and allowed me to realize some important things about myself. About my own queerness, my own identity, things I'm still figuring out. I've cherished being able to see myself in Stede, in Ed, and each of the crew members. In Roach’s love for cooking, in Oluwande’s ability to mediate; in Jim’s quick temper, in the way Izzy builds walls to guard his heart. In Buttons’ quirkiness, in Wee John’s sass, in Frenchie’s ability to turn pain into humour; in The Swede’s silliness, in Lucius’ bluntness, in Pete’s soft heart beneath the skepticism. Lastly, OFMD has inspired me. To create, to write, to draw, to devour other peoples' works and worlds while I sit in sheer, overflowing joyousness at their talent.

so yeah. the news of this cancellation is upsetting and hurtful and disappointing. And it's making us cry, and it's making us grieve, and may make us hollow and numb at times because we've lost yet another thing we love so deeply before it was meant to go. It's so much more than "just a TV show". It means more to us than any passive mindless idiotic mind-numbing bullshit - because even though there's a time and a place and a purpose for that type of media, it's the thought-provoking work, the work that creators pour their entire hearts and souls into, that hit us deep in our own souls. The work that changes our lives. The work that has the ability to save lives, as I know OFMD has done for so many. 

please know I'm sending immense amounts of love and strength to those of you who are also hurting. we'll get through this, one way or another, and I'll keep up with the hope that we'll get more someday; but in the meantime, I'm holding you tight. ❤️️🫂

#our flag means death #ofmd #my thoughts #ofmd thoughts #sorry for the long rambles I just needed to scream into the void #I feel helpless right now but I also wanna fight #sending love ❤️

[theemporium]

im so bad at requesting things so hopefully this actually makes sense lmao, could you please write something about james comforting reader after meeting his friends for the first time bc she thinks she left a bad impression but in reality they loved her? i love your writing btw <3

thank you! and thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

There was no doubt in your mind that you loved James Potter.

Despite the relationship only being a few months old, you had never felt this way about any previous partner. James made you feel special, made you feel like you were floating on cloud nine. James was what all the bad dates and shitty relationships were leading up to, and you couldn’t be happier. 

You wanted him to be a part of your life, and you wanted to be a part of his—which meant meeting the important people in his life. 

He wanted to start out with something small and casual. It was just meant to be a casual night at the pub beside his apartment, to just meet his best friends and the group he had kept close with throughout school. It should’ve been no big deal. 

Except, it went worse than you could’ve imagined—or at least, that’s what you assumed. 

They were a close knit group, that fact was undeniable. And it was clear they cared about your boyfriend as much as you did. It warmed your heart to witness the way they laughed and joked and smiled and cheered the whole night, but you couldn’t help but feel a piece of the puzzle that was never really meant to be there. 

James had noticed you had been quiet since you left the pub, giving all his friends a parting hug before you both started to make the walk to his apartment. You looked lost in thought, with that crease between your brows that told him you were deep in your own head. 

“So,” he started, almost startling you out of your daze when he wrapped his arm around your shoulder to tug you into his side. “What did you think?” 

You blinked. “Hm?” 

“My friends,” he said, looking down at you with a dopey smile that hadn’t left his face since the night began. “What did you think of them?” 

“They were great, Jamie,” you smiled softly. “They really love you.” 

His grin widened. “And now they love you too.” 

You must’ve made a face because that was the only explanation as to why James suddenly frowned, stopping on the side of the street and pulling you to top with him. He looked almost concerned. 

“Is everything okay?” 

You looked at him like he was insane, laughing it off. “What? Of course it is!” 

“Baby,” he gave you a pointed look. “Something’s bothering you. Tell me.” 

You opened your mouth but just sighed. “It’s nothing.” 

His frown deepened. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

“James—”

“Princess.” 

Your eyes dropped away from his, focusing on some cracks on the pavement below you. You let out a deep breath before you began speaking. “I don’t know, I guess…I just wanted your friends to like me.”

His concern turned to confusion. “Huh?”

“They mean a lot to you, James, and I can tell they care about you too and I just wanted them to like me too,” you started to ramble, the words flowing out of your mouth and you couldn’t stop them. “And I wanna be with you for a…really long time and I don’t want them to hate me—-”

“Woah, woah, woah,” James interrupted, taking a step closer to you. His fingers gripped your chin, tilting your head up so he could look at you, wide eyes and alcohol flushed cheeks. “Who said anything about hating?” 

“I—” you started before shrugging. 

“Baby, they adore you,” he whispered in a soft voice. “I think they probably like you more than me.”

You rolled your eyes. “That’s not true.”

“Oh, it’s very true,” he murmured with a small smile. “Just ask Pads. He would choose you over me in a heartbeat.” 

You laughed, though it still felt a bit strained.

“Plus,” James continued. “You make me happy. And if you make me happy, they will love you regardless.”

Your eyes still held some doubt. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, baby,” he grinned before his hands moved to hold your face. “I wanna be with you for a really long time too.” 

“Glad we are on the same page then,” you murmured, your lips twitched as he knocked his nose against yours. 

“Yeah, you’re stuck with me for a while, princess,” he said before moving down to connect his lips with yours. “Better get used to this.”

“Pub nights with your friends?”

“I was gonna say making out with you on the street, but that too.”

.

#james potter #marauders #harry potter #hp #james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #james potter fic #james potter one shot #marauders x reader #marauders x you #marauders x y/n #marauders fic #marauders oneshot #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #harry potter x y/n #harry potter fic #harry potter oneshot #hp x reader #hp x you #hp x y/n #hp fic #hp one shot

[littlexscarletxwitch]

Hi, would you be able to do a mutual pining yelena x avenger!reader kinda thing where yelena has been ignoring reader because she doesn’t know to how to deal with her feelings and when reader confronts her, yelena admits that she likes her? Mainly angst with fluff at the end if possible. Love your fics!!

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗶 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂

paring: yelena belova x fem!reader

tag(s): fluff, some angst, mutual pinning, nat being the big sis

warning(s): yel having a hard time admitting her feelings, grammatical errors, unedited

word count: 1.8k

note: Soooooo sorry it took me soooo long to post this. I FUCKING LOVED THIS REQUEST btw. Also guys, it's taking me so long to post fic because a) my laptop is just a bitch and won't work, and b) I guess I'm going through a writer's block and it's kinda hard to find the motivation to write. But I'll try my best. Lots of love, M <3

requests are open! + check my rules + masterlist <3

Your legs were sore, you couldn't feel your arms anymore and you were gasping for air, but it wasn’t over until one of you was down.

“Can’t we take a break?” you whined out as you tried dodging Yelena’s fist but still made contact with your body and you groaned out in pain. 

“Focus, Y/n,” Steve called out, before Yelena would punch again. 

You knew she was holding back, measuring her strength, she always would when training with you. And you didn’t know if you found that reassuring or mocking. You kicked her in the stomach, but it still did not affect her, it was quite the opposite really. 

“That’s all you got?”

“Why? Wanna try something else?” you teasingly said while winking at her. 

You got her off guard, she wasn’t expecting your cocky self to show up while training, and seized the moment to swift her off her feet and got on top of her. 

“Was this what you had in mind?”

Your hands quickly found her wrists while your body pressed into her abdomen pushing her down so she wouldn’t get out of your hold. 

“Okay, I think it’s enough,” Steve called out, sensing you had gone off track. 

Both you and Yelena knew that she could easily get out of your hold, but still it took her two minutes to do so. You didn’t want to let her go that easily, you felt your whole body burning just by the thought of her skin against yours, still you stood up and got on moving before the two of you could have a say on what just had happened. 

That was how it always went with Yelena, one moment you had the courage to openly flirt with her and a second later you would run back to your dorm second guessing the whole interaction. You wanted to do more, each and every time, but she was so nonchalant about you flirting with her that you convinced yourself that it was just that, a flirty friendship. 

And most of the time you were okay with it, playing dumb about your own feelings. But then shit like that would happen, you would brush her skin, or would make her laugh, or just look at her, and the thought of a friendship would fly out of your mind. That was why you would lock up in your room, trying to calm and persuade yourself to not let your stupid feelings get in the way. 

And the same stupid thing would happen to Yelena, which you didn’t know about. 

“You want to talk about it?” Yelena heard her sister's voice as she watched you heading out the training room. 

“I wasn’t holding back, I swear.”

“Not about your punching,” she raised her brow at her little sister. 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Yelena shrugged it off as she grabbed her bottle of water and took a big sip. 

“Lena, I know you,” Natasha took advantage of the fact that her sister was chugging down water. “I know we don’t do feelings, we don’t trust people. But that was the old us, that was the red room. We have to put that shitty part of our lives behind us for good.”

“And I have,” Yelena scoffed. 

“Then why haven't you done something about it?” Yelena knew her sister meant you, she didn’t have to clarify. “At least, give it a go,” Natasha sighed. “If not for you, then for her.”

“She doesn’t—.”

“You never know, Lena. Neither will she, if you don’t tell her,” and with that Natasha left her sister to her own thoughts.

“Suka,” she mumbled under her breath, because Natasha was right. She was always right about everything, it was the power that came with being a big sister—her big sister—, and she hated it when she was right. 

She knew she had to do something about it, about you. But the fear of rejection, of feeling unwanted felt too much to bear. She wasn’t going to open up her heart just for someone else to crush it. But maybe, just maybe she could trust you not to crush it. 

[...]

Still, it was easier said than done. It took her a full week to finally come to the conclusion that she was, actually, madly in love with you. A week full of stress and anxiety because deep down she felt like she didn’t deserve to have these feelings towards you. 

And now that she knew exactly how she felt about you, it fucking terrified her. So she did what she thought was best and put some space in between the two of you. The thought of you clouded her brain and it was starting to affect her line of work, and she couldn’t have that. Being part of the avengers gave her life meaning, and she was not going to let her stupid feelings ruin that for her. Even though she wanted to be close to you, and just melt into your arms.

Of course, her coldness didn’t go unnoticed by you. You were confused, though. It wasn’t like Yelena to just shut you out. Even though you wanted more than just a friendship out of her, you wanted to consider yourself a friend of hers and it hurt that she was just avoiding you. 

You didn’t know what was going on, she just felt out of your reach. You asked her sister about it, she just told you to give her space and she would be okay, before muttering something under her breath and went on with her day. You asked Kate and she just completely avoided the topic and changed the subject.

The more she didn’t talk to you, not even glance at your direction, the more you felt like you had done something wrong, maybe she had found out about your feelings and now she was avoiding you because of them. She probably felt uncomfortable about them, she probably wanted nothing to do with you. And who were you to decide otherwise?

You talked to Steve, making sure to not have more training lessons with her, only to find out she had already asked the same thing. You knew it was stupid to feel as if your heart was breaking since you wanted the same thing, but it did feel like shattering to pieces. You just nodded, a tight smile finding its way to your lips and went to your room before shedding any tears. 

This whole thing was bullshit. Yes, maybe she didn’t feel the same way you did about her. But the both of you were full grown-ups, you should be professional about it and act like nothing had happened. Because in reality it didn’t, not that you were aware of it. So you decided that you were going to give her a piece of your mind. 

You searched for her throughout the entire building and finally found her in the training room. Of course she was there, you should have thought of coming there earlier. 

For a trained assassin she didn’t notice your presence, too caught up in her own mind, focusing on her breathing and throwing punches at the boxing bag. 

You cleared your throat. “Got a minute?”

She looked over her shoulder, finally acknowledging you there, and you swore you watched as her whole body just tensed up by the sound of your voice. 

“I’m kinda busy right now,” she mumbled before throwing two more punches. 

“It won’t take long,” you insisted, wanting to get this over with. 

“Look, I really need to—.”

You cut her off. “I don’t know who told you or how you found out, but yes, it’s true, okay?” you finally got her attention. “I just thought you would be professional enough to not let this get in the way and pretend like nothing happened. Which is what I also wish for.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You avoiding me,” you quickly mumbled, a tint of concussion in your tone. “I get it, but let’s just put this behind us and act like propper adults.”

“No, I’m aware of that part,” she scoffed, embarrassed to admit to you what she had been up to. “What I mean is, what have I found out?”

Your brows furrowed. “About my… me… and you,” you gave yourself a second to think her words through. “Hold on a second, you don’t know?” 

“What don’t I know?”

“You don’t,” you finally added two plus two and realised that Yelena had no recollection whatsoever about your feelings, but still something was off. “Why have you been avoiding me then?”

You watched her as her mouth opened and closed, searching for the right words. 

“What did I ever do to you for you to completely avoid me, huh?”

“You did nothing, I just…”

“You just what?” you scoffed, now anger filling your tone. “You just decided it was fun to ignore me?”

“No! God, no.”

“Then what is it?!” the two of you were pretty much screaming at each other. 

“Because I like you, damn it!” she finally confessed. “Is it so hard to see?”

Your eyes winded. “You like me? You have been avoiding me because you like me?”

“I know, not my brightest moment. But it's just that you… you just…” she gestured to her brain. “You’re just stuck here, and I can’t get you out. At first I was scared to admit my own feelings to myself,” she took a deep breath. “But then Tasha said something and it made me realise that there’s nothing wrong with having feelings. But then I had to admit to myself that I really fucking like you. And I just… I just got scared because you might not feel the same way, and you might just push me away,” another deep breath. “And I decided that I would push you away first… and so I did.”

“So you like me.”

“Yes,” her brows furrowed.  “Was that all you got?”

“I mean… it’s the part that matters most,” you grinned at her. 

“What do you mean?”

“I really fucking like you too,” you said cupping her cheeks. “I thought you knew and that was why you were avoiding me. But now I get it, I make you nervous,” you said teasingly. 

“I wouldn’t use that word…” you rolled your eyes before shutting her off with your lips, finally giving in and kissing her. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now,” you whispered over her lips as you deepened the kiss. 

Her lips were soft and rough, and they had some saltiness to them due to her being all sweaty. But you didn’t mind at all, in fact you really like it. 

“Remember last time we were here?” you whispered in her ear, trailing a path of kiss down her jaw and neck. 

“You mean… that time we last trained?” she sounded breathlessly and it sent a shiver down your whole body. 

“If I remember correctly, which I know I do…” you gently bit her skin earning a hiss out of her lips. “You were on the grown and I was on top of you, remember?”

“Yes…” she said as her fingers ran through your hair. 

“Want to pick up where we left it off?”

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

#yelena belova #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x y/n #yelena belova x fem reader #yelena belova imagine #florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #littlexscarletxwitch's fic #requests by lovely anons ‘๑’

[mcverse]

✧ Paring: Tsu’tey x Na’vi! F! Reader

✧ Requested: Yes/No

✧ Type: Longfic

✧ Word count: 7.7K

✧ Warnings: Angst, Suppressed feelings, Oblivious reader, insecurities, Slight obvious Tsu’tey at the start, Tsu’tey gaslights just a little bit, Jealous vulnerable Tsu’tey, awkward banter, hurt to comfort I guess?, slow burn

✧ Side Bar: Tsu is so fiiiine. Can you believe I slept on him at first? Crazy, what’s was I thinking?? I ENJOYED THIS SO THANK YOU FOR SENDING IT IN BABE; TOOK 4EVER CUZ ITS LONG — srry im shitty at arguments :( i avoid anything feelings irl

✧ Omnitalk: I know that the Tsahik and the Tsakarem are technically the only healers in the clan, but I just feel like y’know there could be more but they just don’t match that level of greatness. My reasoning: there’s more than one doctor in the world, what if a whole group of warriors got hurt, the Tsahik can’t cater to them all, at least I don’t think so. ANYWAY that concludes my Omnitalk thanks for stopping by

please keep in mind that all characters in my stories are always 18+, and although I can't monitor who reads my work, if you are not 18+ I advise that you do not engage in my page or stories.

Your temper had always been something that you struggled with. Patience wasn't exactly your forte, but you knew how to keep your cool in most situations. You weren't a saint by any means, but it took a lot to push you to the brink of losing control.

Thankfully, you had Eywa to turn to when things got tough. She provided a sense of guidance that helped you stay calm in moments when it would have been easy to let your anger get the best of you. Without her, you knew you would have snapped at him long ago.

Tsu’tey.

His reputation preceded him wherever he went. A true embodiment of the warrior spirit, he exuded strength and bravery with every step he took. During the battle against the sky people, his ferocity in both defense and protection of your people and land was unparalleled. He possessed razor-sharp reflexes and a keen mind, which made him merciless in battle—traits that marked him as a natural-born leader, fit for the title of the Olo'eyktan.

And yet, it seemed that you only experienced the negative aspects of his character. The origins of your rocky relationship with the current Olo'eyktan were fuzzy, but it felt as though your paths crossed every day.

As one of the best healers in the village, it's already challenging enough to do your job with how reckless the warriors were, but with him lurking around was considerable worst. While you respect him and assume the feeling is mutual, tension always seems to arise between the two of you.

You couldn't help but wonder why Tsu'tey always had to be around when warriors were injured. You were more than capable of handling the job on your own—after all, you had been trained by your mother and had been practicing as a healer for as long as you could remember. You could tend to the wounded with your eyes closed.

But for some reason, Tsu'tey always seemed to show up when warriors were injured on his watch, which happened more often than it should. It was confusing because these were skilled warriors who should not have been injured so frequently. You’d think he’d match your concern but Tsu’tey appears unfazed. In fact, he seems content to stand there and watch you work.

That didn’t change the fact that you hated to endure it. Every time Tsu’tey appeared, the air around you seemed to shift, and you could feel his penetrating gaze fixed on you as he stood over your shoulder. Even though you knew iit was possible he was here to ensure you didn't make a mistake, you had never slipped up in your tending to the Na’vi.

You longed for him to give you some space and allow you to breathe. A day without his stupidly handsome face, always twisted into a scowl, would be a blessing. It was suffocating to have him lurking around, making you feel uneasy as you work. Instead of letting it affect your tending to the Na'vi, you let harsh words slithers out of your mouth. They were words that no one would dare to direct to the Olo'eyktan, but they weren’t you.

"Do you not have responsibilities to attend to as Olo’eyktan, Tsu'tey?” you break the silence, keeping your hands steady on the Na'vi in front of you, despite your desire to turn and push Tsu’tey out of your healers hut.

He nods, shifting his gaze from your hands to the side of your face, "Yes. One of my duties is to ensure proper care for our people," he replies matter-of-factly.

You click your tongue, silently apologizing to the Na'vi when you realize you have grazed his wound too harshly. Then you turn your attention back to Tsu'tey, "You keep saying that, but do you not think I am capable of caring for them alone?" you ask, peering at him and study him.

His expression doesn’t change from the scowl but you knew your words had affected him. Over time, he had become easier to read, his emotions slowly surfacing through subtle gestures and expressions. You noticed the way he gulped slowly, his ears flicking downward, and his tail switching off to the opposite side.

Looking up seconds later, your eyes met and you pause, catching a knowing gleam in his gaze that no one else seemed to have noticed but you. Perhaps you had been paying too much attention to him, a realization that he had definitely overstayed his welcome.

A small smile played at the corner of your lips as he responded, already anticipating the snarky comment that would leave his mouth. Despite finding him annoying and wanting him to be around less often, you couldn't deny that there was a certain charm to the unpleasant side of him that showed a few pleasantries you didn't mind all too much.

“You might be a healer now but you’re the same reckless girl from your upbringing.” Tsu’tey averts his eyes to the silent Na’vi, “Can’t even be gentle when it’s needed. Maybe you would be better off among the warriors.” He tilts his head towards you, wearing a barely noticeable smug expression.

You sigh deeply to cover up the slip up on your demeanor and dismissed the Na'vi by patting him on the shoulder, "In three days, come back so I can change it," you instructed him as he nods and left the hut.

After staring at he same space the wounded Na’vi was in, you turned completely to Tsu’tey, who was already looking at you with a concentrated look. He straightens his posture, puff out his chest, and crosses his arms when he notice you looking at him.

“Unless you have more wounded warriors hiding somewhere, I’m kinda busy.” You gesture to the many supplies that you had to clean up, “It’ll be reckless of me to leave it around and cause another accident.” You mock his earlier statement, slightly ticked off that he brought it up in the first place.

Tsu'tey let out a disgruntled humph, his eyes momentarily leaving yours and wandering over your body. You couldn't help but feel self-conscious under his gaze, but as he took in every freckle and pattern, every smooth surface his eyes could reach, you also felt a flutter in your stomach. His gaze flickered hastily back up to yours, and he uncrossed his arms, silently giving you an affirmative nod before turning to leave the hut.

〰〰〰〰〰〰

After that odd encounter, it seemed as if a switch had been flipped in Tsu'tey's demeanor. The once stoic and tense warrior still came to your healer's hut, but now the exchanges between the two of you were different. The words that were once laced with venom and hostility now held a playful tone, something that was unexpected from the serious Na'vi.

In no way were you complaining, it beat his normal uprightness but it was a bit perplexing. Why had Tsu’tey suddenly become so much more relaxed and friendly around you? It made you question his motive, though you knew if he really had one, he’d mostly likely be upfront about it.

That doesn’t mean it still made any sense. You observed that he never acted in such a manner with any other warriors, and you weren’t the only one to notice. The warriors in the same hunting group as him, the same ones who get injured come in and feel uncomfortable yet curious at the different Tsu’tey.

The next time you see him, it was mid-morning when he entered the hut, following one of his men like usual. As soon as he caught sight of you, his ears perked up at the brief smile you sent his way. You quickly averted your gaze to focus on the injured Na’vi in front of you. You let out a sigh of annoyance as you saw it was Kenuk, who had been in your care four times this week, with injuries that hadn't even healed yet.

“Kenuk, how many times do I have to tell you to be careful!?” You scold him as he took his usual seat in the center of the room, Tsu’tey staying off to the side. You turned away from them both to grab some supplies before hurrying back to Kenuk to examine his wound. You couldn’t stop the frown from forming on your face when you saw the large scrape on his side. Though it wasn't deep, the size of the wound was concerning.

You reached for a wet cloth and began to softly clean his wound, but apparently, it was not soft enough, as a groan escaped Kenuk’s lips, followed by a chuckle, “More than I'd like,” he answers truthfully, looking down at you as you worked, “You're not exactly gentle.”

Tsu’tey grunts beside you, “What I say.”, clearly referencing the comment he made two weeks ago. Despite not looking at him, you could feel the smug expression he always wore, and it annoyed you to no end. Both he and Kenuk were getting on your nerves with their accusations of you being rough and insensitive. You knew you were capable of being gentle; you were gentle. Maybe Kenuk was just being overly sensitive. Perhaps he needed to toughen up.

“Prrnen, you’re soft just like one. Sensitive too,” you retorted, deliberately applying a bit more pressure to Kenuk’s wound to make your point. You smiled as he winced and shot you a warning glare. Ignoring him, you set aside the damp cloth and reached for the healing ointment, the one you knew would make him whimper like a baby.

Tsu'tey notices this, drawing in his attention as he raises a brow at your choice. He's not a healer, but he's had his fair share of injuries and he knows that the ointment in your hands stings the most. He was accustomed to the stinging sensation it caused, but not everyone had his high tolerance. Did that comment get to you that much?

Just as you both thought, Kenuk pulls away from you in seconds, trying to get away from your touch. "Shit!" he curses, about to get up when a firm hand grabs his shoulder and forces him to sit back down. It belongs to Tsu'tey, no surprise given he's the only other person in the hut. But it's surprising that he's helping.

"She can't do her job if you move too much." There's a moment of tension between the two Na'vi as they lock eyes, almost as if they were having a silent conversation. Eventually, Kenuk concedes, muttering a begrudging "fine" and shifting his body to give you better access to his wound.

You glance over at Tsu’tey, his tall and imposing figure commanding attention even in the dimly lit hut. "Thank you... Ma Tsu’tey," you say, the words feeling foreign on your tongue. You've shown gratitude to others before, but never directed towards him. You and Tsu’tey have never been nice to each other, at least not until a few weeks ago.

You went back to focus on treating Kenuk's wound, you find your eyes wandering over to Tsu’tey's muscular frame. It's not a habit of yours to be distracted by someone's physique, but there was something about him that drew your attention. You force yourself to look away and focus on the task at hand. "How are you the most wounded warrior in the village, hm?" you ask, trying to distract yourself from your thoughts. "Your health is important, skxawng.

As soon as you ask the question, you expect an immediate response, but instead, an uncomfortable silence lingers, causing you to pause and study his face. His expression is devoid of his usual goofiness, which only increases your concern.

“I asked a question," you convey, brows furrowed in confusion.

He clears his throat and looks away, avoiding your gaze. "The Chief," he murmurs finally. The second the name spills from him, you snap your head at the man in question.

Tsu’tey tenses up under your watchful gaze, feeling a flush of heat and clamminess rise within him. He wants to look away, to avoid the intensity of your stare, but he can't bring himself to do it. It’ll make him look weak, he couldn't afford to look weak, not in front of you. And for some inexplicable reason, he actually craves your attention at the same time, whether under good reason for bad.

“You did this?” You can't believe what you're hearing. The thought that Tsu'tey was responsible for Kenuk's injuries never crossed your mind. On the one hand, it seems improbable that he would do something so reckless, but on the other hand, it fits with the abrasive and confrontational persona that you've come to associate with him.

Tsu’tey lets out a huff of frustration and crosses his arms tightly across his chest, his body language tense and defensive. “They need to learn,” he grumbles, his lips pursed as he takes a moment to consider his words, “If they can’t win against me, how can they survive out there?”

As you process his words, you realize with a sinking feeling that the "they" he's referring to are all the injured warriors who have stumbled into your hut over the past few days. Did Tsu’tey injure all of them? The thought is both impressive and upsetting, and you can't quite decide how to feel about it.

“I didn’t expect that of you,” you say, looking away and continuing to treat Kenuk. You drop the ointment in favor of picking up the leaf wrapping, “Do not worry, Kenuk. You are in great hands. I’ll take care of you anytime.” You give his upper arm a strong squeeze when you finish wrapping.

Unbeknownst to you, Tsu'tey's eyes lingered on the spot where your hand had rested on Kenuk's arm. He knows that this is your duty, one he saw you do plenty of times but that touch felt more intimate than he liked. Though he couldn’t figure out why he didn’t like it, he just felt extremely uncomfortable and irritable having to witness it.

As you exchange words of farewell with Kenuk and turn to put away your supplies, Tsu'tey lingers behind, thoughts swirl with confusion. He can't shake the feeling of unease that has settled over him. He has never felt this way, he never had to. He was confident in everything—teaching, hunting, and battle but this.. this felt different and he doesn't know how to process it. He glance at you one last time before silently exiting your hut too.

You turn back around to get more intel on the injured warriors who come to see you often, but Tsu'tey is not there like he usually is. You wonder where he could have gone, but quickly push the thought out of your mind as you greet another Na’vi walking in.

〰〰〰〰〰〰

Initially, becoming a healer wasn't your dream. Your mother, may she rest in peace, was determined to pass on the family tradition to you. The lessons on herbs and their medicinal uses felt tedious and unexciting to you. You longed to roam beyond the boundaries set by for you, to hunt like the mighty warriors you idolized and fly on the backs of Ikran without a watchful eye.

Perhaps this is why you sometimes struggle to find the gentle touch and calmness required of a healer. But Eywa, the guiding spirit of Pandora', had other plans for you. Even before your birth, she had chosen you for this path. To test your abilities, she presented you with a challenge—a friend in need, requiring your knowledge and care.

Through this test, Eywa showed you your true calling. Despite your initial reluctance, you rose to the challenge and used your skills to help your friend. And from that moment, you knew that you were destined to become a great healer, chosen by the spirit herself.

So you wondered why you she was testing you again. You had already proven your worth as a healer in the village. So why were fewer and fewer warriors seeking your assistance? Had you not fulfilled your duty correctly?

These thoughts plagued your mind as you sat in your hut, surrounded by jars of herbs and vials of medicines. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of self-doubt, wondering if perhaps you had lost your touch.

But it wasn’t adding up the more you thought it over.

You knew that every warrior who came to your hut left with the progress of being healed. You took pride in your work and tried to be as friendly as possible, never having a real disagreement with anyone. So what was the reason to your sudden decline in business? You shake your head, trying to dispel the doubts that had been creeping in. Sitting around in this hut waiting wasn’t going to help you find out faster.

Leaving your hut, you greeted the Na'vi as you walked through the village, heading towards the only place where your business thrived: the training ground. When you arrived, the training wasn't yet finished, so you stood off to the side with a few warriors who were taking a break. You were content to wait, watching as Tsu'tey led the training. This is the first time in a few days since you’ve seen him, admittedly you miss him and the aura he was giving off in the field only fueled that.

In that moment, watching Tsu'tey command the training grounds, you couldn't help but feel drawn to him in a way you never had before. The way he moved, the strength in his stance, the confidence in his voice... it was all so attractive.

You were conflicted because you knew that, in the past, you had found his demeanor aggravating and even off-putting. But here he was, exuding qualities that made your heart race and your stomach flutter. It was unnerving to feel this way, especially towards someone who had never shown you any interest or affection.

You were sure that your slow growing feelings for Tsu’tey were just a momentary lapse in judgment. After all, he was the Olo'eyktan and had important responsibilities to fulfill, which you could never be a part of.

You tried to convince yourself that your attraction to him was just a silly crush that would soon fade away, especially since it was entirely one-sided. It was a well-known fact that Tsu’tey still grieves over his previous love, and you didn't want to add to his emotional burden.

Letting out a deep sigh, you turn and spot a familiar face in the group of Na'vi. It was Kenuk, you must have missed him when you first arrived, as he was standing between two other Na'vi. A smile spreads across your face as you walk over to greet him and the others.

After exchanging pleasantries, you turn to Kenuk, "Mind if we talk?"

He looks at the other two Na'vi beside him before nodding and following you a few feet away, out of earshot. Taking a deep breath, you get straight to the point, "Why haven’t any of our people come to see me lately, do you know the reason?”

Kenuk groans and his ears pull back, anticipating the inevitable conflict. It was no secret that he frequently visited your healer's hut with the future leader of the clan, so he knew he would be caught in the middle of your mess at some point. The problem was that he didn't know what to do. Both Na'vi involved were senior to him, and whatever he said would betray one, if not the other. The weight of his dilemma was evident in his downturned expression and hesitant words.

“…I don’t know.”

Your eyes narrow as you look at Kenuk, his guilty face betraying him. He knows more than he's letting on. You don't tolerate liars and Kenuk's demeanor only confirms your suspicions.

"Are you lying to me, Kenuk?" you ask, your tone firm and unwavering.

Kenuk frowns, his ears twitching at your disappointment, “We were told not to. Uh, not exactly not to but," he trails off, struggling to explain the situation. You wait, your impatience growing by the second. Finally, he blurts out, "The Chief has been saying things."

This information catches you off guard. Why does Tsu'tey have anything to do with this? That doesn't make sense. Weren't you both just getting along? To sabotage your living... that's unforgivable. But you don't want to jump to conclusions; there has to be more.

You're hesitant to ask; this might break your calm streak. You can already feel your body heating up at the possibilities, "What kind of things?"

Kenuk shifts uneasily on his feet, looking as though he'd rather be anywhere else but here. You can practically feel the tension radiating off of him as he reluctantly begins to speak, "There have been some male Na'vi asking about you, I don’t know why. But Chief Tsu'tey," he starts, his eyes darting away from you, "He told them that you're too rough. You're the opposite of gentle, too strong."

A snarl rises up in your throat. It's always about that, isn't it? Why should a healer have to be gentle? You're proud of your strength and resilience, but it seems like others see it as a flaw. You're about to speak up when Kenuk continues, his words making your blood boil even hotter.

"And you're too strong-headed like a flathead ram and have a loose tongue. You act impulsively and fearlessly, without regard for the consequences,” he gulps, looking you in the eyes, “He says you're dangerous and should be avoided. That you'll do more harm than good, opposite of a healer.”

Your vision blurs as your anger finally boils over. You know exactly what he's getting at, bringing up that damn conversation again. The conversation that you thought bad changed everything between you two.

But he was still the same arrogant jerk, and now you were starting to regret your newly developed feelings for him. He didn't deserve that, not with the way he was acting. Who did he think he was?

The fury inside you is building with each step you take towards the training ground. Eywa may have been able to calm you in the past, but this time you're beyond her reach. The storm that is forming inside your head is one that even Eywa can't control. That man, that future Olo'eyktan, he's gone too far this time. His words about you being too strong, too strong-headed, and loose tongued have crossed a line.

As you approach the training ground, you notice that the session has ended and Tsu'tey, alone, was putting away the weapons. Your feet pound against the ground, announcing your presence before you even reach him. Tsu'tey looks up at you with a raised eyebrow, his expression curious but wary.

You stop just a foot away from him and your nostrils flare as you stare him down. You might look incredibly intimidating to you, but to him, you look like a pouty toddler.

"What is your problem?" you spit out the words, your anger palpable. The intensity of your gaze could have burned a hole through him.

Tsu'tey's focus shifts entirely to you, abandoning the weapons he was putting away. He narrows his eyes, “Whats going on?” He was confused by the urgency in your approach, as you seemed to be babbling without actually getting to the point.

"You have a lot of nerve, telling these things about me." you exclaim, your voice trembling staring at the source of your rage, “I expect better of the future clan leader!” Your hands were balled into fists at your sides, your heart pounding wildly in your chest, matching the way you were feeling.

Tsu’tey takes a moment to process your words, his eyes studying you intently. His brilliant mind races against an invisible clock, trying to formulate a solution to the problem he has caused. He didn't think you would find out about his lies, or perhaps he was in denial and not thinking rationally when he spread them.

As he stands before you, he considers apologizing for his mistake. He didn't mean to upset you, and it was never his intention to cause you pain. However, as he looks into your eyes, he remembers how the other warriors asked about you, and the brief moment he shared with Kenuk that he tried to forget.

He came to realize apologizing wasn't an option for him, despite the guilt weighing heavily on his mind. He couldn't bring himself to utter the words because he didn't feel genuine remorse for all of his actions. While he regretted that you had suffered the consequences of his lies, he couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for sabotaging the potential suitors who had shown interest in you. In his eyes, they weren't worthy of you and he couldn't bear the thought of you ending up with someone who didn't deserve your love.

He knew he was being selfish, but he couldn't help the overwhelming new feeling of possessiveness he had over you. Every time he saw someone else try to get close to you, it made his blood boil with jealousy. He knew he couldn't have you for himself, but he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else having you either. So, he used his influence to spread rumors and lies to scare off anyone who tried to pursue you.

Deep down, he knew it was wrong and he hated himself for it, but he came to really enjoy your company and he can’t continue that if you were mated. So, even though he knew he owed you an apology for his behavior, he couldn't bring himself to do it, not without admitting to himself that he was wrong in wanting you all to himself.

Despite the storm of emotions brewing inside him, Tsu’tey chooses to hide them behind a mask of indifference, "They were the truth," he says, though he immediately regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. He knows he should be honest with you, to tell you how he truly feels, but he can't bring himself to do it. "I have a duty," he continues, trying to justify his actions, "I simply directed them to someone better." His feelings for you has grown slowly and unexpectedly, yet he can't bring himself to confess his true feelings to you.

You were taken aback by his words. They hit you like a punch in the gut, leaving you feeling winded and vulnerable. Your mind races, trying to make sense of what he's saying, but his words are like a jumbled mess in your head.

“How could you say that?” Your voice is barely a whisper as you go silent, the realization hitting you hard. This had to be linked to your past somehow. You look back up, your eyes filling with hurt and confusion, “That’s not me anymore. I’m not that reckless girl anymore. I’m capable, just like every healer here.” You try to reason, try to get him to see that you have changed, that you're not the same person he once knew. You thought he saw that you did.

Tsu’tey's face hardens, his eyes flashing with a mix of frustration and resentment, “I did what is best for our people.” Another lie, yet he still couldn't stop.

You feel betrayed as the conversation goes on, your anger rising just as quickly as it came to you in a moment of vulnerability, “What about me?! Did you not even consider what that means for me?” You feel hysterical, like you are imagining all this. You had to be.

Tsu’tey's jaw clenches, straightening his posture as he tilts his head tauntingly at you, “What about you? It’s very selfish of you to not consider your people.” He smacks his tongue on his teeth, “You are everything I said and possibly more. I did what I had to do. If you don’t like it, you’ll have to learn to live with it.”

That was it.

That was your 13th reason last straw.

“I hate you,” You confess coldly, looking him dead in the eyes, “and you're the one causing trouble, Tsu’tey, not me” You turn away slightly, a scowl that could rival his play on your lips and your eyes scanning him in disgust, “You may be the Olo'eyktan, but you don’t deserve it.. nor my respect.” You leave after those words, wanting to get as far away from him as possible, before he breaks your heart even more.

〰〰〰〰〰〰

It has been two long, torturous weeks since the bitter argument that left you feeling raw and vulnerable. The memory of Tsu’tey's harsh words still stings like an open wound, and you find yourself unable to shake off the anger and hurt that consumes you. You refuse to be anywhere near him, knowing that the mere sight of him would trigger a fresh wave of emotions that you are not ready to face.

Despite knowing how ridiculous it is to completely avoid someone in a community as small as yours, you can't bring yourself to do anything else. You spend most of your time cooped up in your healer's hut, only venturing out occasionally to hunt for herbs or attend to few non warrior patients. The thought of bumping into Tsu’tey fills you with dread and you do everything in your power to stay away from him.

You avoid the training ground like a plague, knowing that Tsu’tey is often there, leading the warriors through their daily drills. You know that as a healer, it's your duty to attend to the warriors' injuries and ailments, but you deny yourself that luxury. You can't bear the thought of being in the same space as him, even for a few moments.

But then, Tsu’tey and a small group of warriors leave on a hunting trip, and it feels like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You can finally breathe again, without the constant fear of running into him. You know it's not a permanent solution, but for now, it's enough. In his absence, you find peace, and you try to focus on your work, hoping that time will heal the wounds that Tsu’tey has left behind.

Within his absence, you discovered yourself being drawn outside more and more often, collecting an assortment of herbs for your medicinal balm while soaking up the natural beauty that surrounded you.

In moments of pure stillness, your mind would occasionally wander back to the conversation with Tsu’tey, but in the midst of this tranquil setting, it all seemed insignificant. It was as if Eywa was leading you towards a celestial epiphany, prompting you to recall the things you had forgotten and encouraging you to generate and safeguard something entirely novel.

Even now with you were so lost in the beauty of the forest, eyes closed and queue connected, that you were completely oblivious to the sound of footsteps approaching from behind. It wasn't until a hand gently touched your shoulder that you jolted in surprise, quickly un-sheathing your weapon and whirling around to confront the intruder.

You raise your brows in shock before quickly lowering your weapon as you recognize Raa'te, one of the warriors who had stayed behind while the others were on the hunting trip. Despite Tsu'tey's words, he has been one of the few warriors who haven't stopped coming to your hut, and you were grateful for his company.

Over the past few weeks, The two of you have been spending more time together lately, and you've come to appreciate his kind and gentle nature. He was a rare and refreshing presence in your life..

"Raa'te, you scared me," you say with a chuckle, shielding your weapon and felt a sense of relief that it's him and not someone else.

He grins mischievously, his hands still raised in a peaceful gesture, "I mean no harm, I promise. I just wanted to see if you wanted to come with me to see the return of the hunting party. The horn has sounded, and they should be back any minute now." He lowers his hands, peering down at you softly.

You hesitate for a moment, not wanting to be anywhere near Tsu’tey, but the hopeful expression Raa'te was throwing at you is too much to resist. Signing, you nod your head, "Okay, let's go," you mumble, grabbing your bag of herbs and going towards the village together.

On the way back to the village with Raa’te, the two of you engage in light conversation. He seems genuinely interested in getting to know more about you, and you find yourself opening up to him more and more. It's a refreshing change from the other warriors who often just talk about themselves.

Raa’te even takes the initiative to carry your bag for you, a small act of kindness that doesn't go unnoticed. As you approach the village, you can hear the sound of cheers and excitement in the distance. The hunting party must be returned.

At the front of the hunting party, Tsu'tey stood with his chest puffed out, basking in the cheers and adoration of his people. You couldn't help but feel a pang of disgust in your stomach at his display of arrogance.

It’s frustrating how someone can evoke such strong emotions in you, both positive and negative. You shake your head, trying to push those thoughts away, but your attention is drawn back to him, much to your annoyance. After all he's done, there were plenty of others in the tribe with better potential.

Raa’te was full of surprises today. He leans in close to your ear and whispers, "I could have gone on the hunt, you know?" You turn to him with a curious expression, wondering why he didn't. He smiles at you, thinking you look adorable and then blurts out what's been on his mind lately, "because I'm more interested in you right now."

You felt your cheeks heat up at his boldness, looking down to avoid his gaze. Despite the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, you appreciated his honesty.

You couldn't deny that Raa'te's presence had a certain charm to it, and you found yourself drawn to him in ways that surprised you. His kindness and genuine interest in you were a welcome change from the tension and uncertainty that seemed to permeate every interaction you had with Tsu'tey.

"You're courting me?" The question slips from your lips before you can stop yourself, surprised and a little embarrassed that you hadn't noticed until now. How could you have missed the signs? Raa'te had always been there for you, lending a helping hand and offering thoughtful little gifts that always brought a smile to your face.

Raa'te chuckles at your question, his gaze curious as he looks at you, "You haven't noticed?"

You shake your head, feeling a little ashamed that you hadn't seen his intentions before. "I've been busy with other things," you murmur, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. But the truth was, you had been so wrapped up in Tsu'tey that you hadn't even considered the possibility of being with someone else.

"Like the Chief?" Raa'te asks knowingly, and you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks more at the mention of Tsu'tey's name.

You snap your head up, your eyes wide with surprise, "How did you—"

"The whole village knows," Raa'te interrupts, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You let out a frustrated groan, dropping your head in embarrassment at the news. It was mortifying, but in hindsight, not entirely unexpected. Anything related to the Chief had a way of spreading like wildfire in the village, so it was only a matter of time before rumors started to circulate. You just didn't think it would happen so quickly.

"I'm sorry, Raa'te. I didn't mean to lead you on," you say, looking back up at him with a heavy sense of guilt. He had been putting in effort, and you hadn't reciprocated at all.

He gives a nonchalant shrug, "It's okay. I just thought I might have a better chance if he was out of the picture. Guess that's not happening," he says, gesturing behind you.

You turn around to see what he's looking at, and your eyes meet Tsu'tey's. The Chief is staring at you with an unreadable expression, and for a moment, you feel a rush of panic. You quickly turn back to Raa'te, hoping that Tsu'tey didn't hear your conversation.

Despite not hearing the conversation, Tsu’tey’s sharp mind allowed him to discern the situation to a certain extent. He had learned from his group of warriors that Raa’te had chosen to remain behind to court you properly, which only stirred up feelings of anger within him. He knew he had no right to feel jealous or resentful towards Raa’te, especially after the way he had mistreated you. He understood that he was no more deserving of you than anyone else in the clan.

Even with this knowledge, Tsu’tey couldn’t shake the terrible feeling he had inside. After the first week of avoiding him, he had plenty of time to reflect on his mistakes and realized that he had made a grave error.

The fact that you were avoiding him hurt him deeply, even though he knew it was justified. However, a nagging voice in his head convinced him that if you were doing it on purpose, he should do the same. He knew it didn’t make sense, but he couldn’t help but feel terrible and foolish for giving in to that temptation.

As he watched you walk away with Raa’te, it felt like you were taking his heart with you. He couldn't believe that he had caused this outcome upon his return. It was cruel, and he knew he deserved it, but at the same time, he didn't feel like he should have to endure it. All he had to do was apologize, but he wondered if it was enough for you to forgive him.

He truly hoped so because the thought of seeing you with someone else was going to drive him up a tree. He regretted not telling you how he truly felt and why he acted the way he did. The fact that he couldn't handle his emotions like he would with an Ikran made him even more frustrated.

As night falls, Tsu’tey finds himself determined to confront the confusing and unsettling situation between him and you. With a sense of unease gnawing at his gut, he makes his way to your home, hoping to get some clarity and put an end to whatever this was.

However, his heart sinks when he finds your hut empty, and he can't help but let his mind wander into dark thoughts and "what ifs." In a last-ditch attempt, he decides to check the healer's hut, where he heaves a sigh of relief at the sight of you shuffling around your medicine.

As the drape of your hut flutters, you stop your work and look towards the entrance, hoping it's someone who won't disrupt your peace. Unfortunately, it's Tsu'tey, his ears flat back and a scowl etched on his face. You immediately regret looking up as you feel a rush of tension in the air.

The expression on his face is still hostile, but there's a hint of vulnerability that you've never seen before. You both stand there in silence, neither of you uttering a word. The atmosphere is so thick you can practically cut it with a knife.

His voice, low yet firm, echoes inside your little hut, "I'm sorry."

Did the Olo'eyktan—no, did Tsu’tey just say "I'm sorry" to you? You wonder if you're starting to hallucinate after seeing him return. You can't remember him ever apologizing before, at least not without a fight.

"Great Mother," you mutter in disbelief, your eyes widening. You struggle to process his words, wondering if this is truly the same Tsu'tey you know. "Who are you and what have you done with our Chief?" you ask, half-jokingly. This behavior is unlike him, leaving you uncertain.

His glare brings you back to reality, silently conveying the seriousness of his words. You take a moment to gather yourself, realizing that this apology is genuine and you must respond accordingly.

“I acknowledge the strength it took for you to admit that you were wrong. Thank you,” you say, your brows furrowing as you glance off to the side. It wasn't exactly what you wanted to say, but you had been mulling over the situation for weeks and decided that being the bigger person was the best course of action.

Tsu'tey notices your hesitation immediately and steps further into the hut, basking in the dim glow of the a flickering flame. Your eyes drift back to him unconsciously, taking in his handsome features - his high cheekbones and chiseled jaw - and you find yourself falling for him all over again.

"But?" he prompts, sensing that there is more to your statement than you are letting on.

You pause, chewing on the inside of your cheek as your eyes flicker between his, which seem more honest and vulnerable than you've ever seen them. What were you going to say? How could you say it? Should you say it?

"Just say it," he urges, his scowl growing deeper. He was growing impatient in a situation that deserved patience. He knew this, but he also knew he didn't want to wait any longer. "Speak your mind freely."

"I thought you said I was too loose-tongued," you state a little too harshly, as the wound was only two weeks old.

Tsu'tey purses his lips, answering without hesitation, "You do. You're not afraid to state your opinion to our people or your Olo'eyktan," he glances downwards at the ground. "I respect it."

You tilt your head in confusion at his statement. Wasn't he the same person who spread rumors about you and drove away your business? It's flattering that he thinks you're not afraid to speak your mind, but it doesn't change the fact that his actions caused you harm.

Curious, you test the waters, "What about me being stubborn?" His eyes flicker up to meet yours and his lips twitch in response,

"You are. You've been avoiding me since the fight. I'll say that's stubborn enough," he admits.

You pout and cross your arms defensively, "With reason!" you retort. After a moment of hesitation, you ask, "What about me not being gentle? You have everyone thinking I'm some woman who knows nothing but toughness."

Finally, a playful smirk spreads across his face, his eyes lighting up. What happened to the Tsu’tey who wanted to take this serious? "That's also true. I meant it when I said you're better off as a warrior... but you're great as a healer too."

There was a heavy moment of silence as you processed his words, your body feeling hot under his intense gaze, but you didn’t look away. You were debating on what to do next, whether to take his words to heart, or forgive him. He sounded sincere enough, but was it enough?

“Why…Why hurt me?” You finally mutter, the question that’s been weighing on your mind for weeks. It was the one that you desperately didn’t want to share, the one that would show so much vulnerability that you didn’t know if you wanted to give that to him yet.

But Tsu'tey understood the weight of your question, his smirk fading as he grew serious. serious. A few seconds passed before he sighed heavily through his nostrils, “I wasn’t myself.” He confess, continuing as he caught your look of confusion, “My pride and foolish jealousy blinded me. I failed to see that my actions were hurting you, and that was the last thing I wanted.”

You do a double take as he continues speaking, his vulnerability at its highest peak, “I was a skxqwng for letting myself become clouded with such feelings but I didn’t know how to deal with them.”

“What are you trying to say, Tsu’tey?” You ask, holding your breath as his expression grows softer by the second. It's a side of him you've never seen before, and you don't think anyone else has either. But it has your heart threatening to jump out of your chest and your stomach doing silly flips.

“I’m saying… Oel ngati kameie, [Name].” He walks closer, stopping in front of you. He raises his hand to your cheek, which you lean into as you stare at him in disbelief. All the anger you felt has vaporized like it was never there because all you can see is Tsu’tey looking at you like your the most treasured thing in the world, “If you’ll have me, I will make my wrongs right.”

You take a deep breath and close your eyes for a moment, trying to ground yourself. It feels like a dream, but the warmth of Tsu’tey’s touch on your face is real. You open your eyes again, looking up at him, “Oel ngati kameie, Tsu’tey.” You whisper breathlessly, feeling the weight of the moment.

Tsu’tey’s eyes light up at your words, a wide smile spreading across his face as he brings his other hand up to cup your cheek. He looks at you so happily that the sun would be envious of his light. You realize that you really like this version of Tsu'tey and want to see more of it.

He looks down at your lips, and you can feel your own breath hitching in your throat, “Can I kiss you, Yawne?” He mumble, looking back back in your eyes.

You don’t even need to think about it – the answer is a resounding yes. You want to feel his lips on yours, to hold him closer, to lose yourself in the moment.

Without answering, you grab him by the shoulders and pull him towards you, pressing your lips to his in a fervent, passionate kiss. The space between you feels too great, and you crave the feeling of his body against yours.

It was in this moment that you realized how thankful you were for all the ups and downs that had led you here. The moments where you had lost your cool, the times when you had been too stubborn to see the truth, and the moments of sheer frustration had all been worth it. Without them, you wouldn't be here, in Tsu'tey's arms, feeling like you had finally found your home.

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#✮⋆˙ 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 — 𝐭𝐬𝐮’𝐭𝐞𝐲 #tsu’tey x you #tsu’tey imagine #tsu’tey avatar #tsu’tey x reader #avatar tsu'tey #tsu'tey te rongloa ateyitan #tsu’tey #tsu’tey fluff #tsu’tey angst #avatar angst #tsu'tey x y/n #avatar way of water #avatar #tsutey #tsutey x reader #tsu’tey headcanon #avatar jake #tsu’tey te rangloa ateyitan #tsu'tey avatar #avatar x reader #avatar headcanons

[missmeinyourbones]

sweet L!! congrats on your milestone u deserve it so so much!! for the event, how about “meet me at midnight” and suna :)

MEET ME AT MIDNIGHT (s. rintaro)

a/n: post high school - pre college AU, talks of suna going pro, mutual pining, childhood friends alluded, slight mentions of religious comparison, i need to gargle him in my mouth like mouthwash 

L’s MIDNIGHTS EVENT!

When your phone vibrates, the sun has long set and the moths outside of your window are flocking to the dim porch light. 

And even though you know who it is texting you at this hour, your heart still does that thing—the childish fluttering of excitement and nerves and insecurity all in one. With a deep breath, you let your thumb swipe your screen. 

From: Suna��;p

[10:41 PM] meet me at midnight

To: Suna ;p

[10:43 PM] well hello to you too

From: Suna ;p

[10:44 PM] hello [10:44 PM] meet me at midnight

To: Suna ;p

[10:45 PM] that's awfully cryptic of you

From: Suna ;p

[10:47 PM] cryptic enough for you to agree?

To: Suna ;p

[10:48 PM] ... yes

Suna does this a lot. 

Both a creature of habit and the night, he loves doing this with you. Texting you when the heavy summer sun goes down and the night sky protects him from the reality of the morning. Nights that were meant to be impromptu, but are now a part of your routines, you find yourself looking forward to his (un)expected texts. 

He doesn't give a location, but you don't need one, because the two of you have been meeting at the same quiet spot outside the corner of the town's 24/7 convenience store for months now.

When you arrive in one of his old hoodies and a pair of cartoon pajama pants, he's already waiting for you beneath the store's fluorescent signage.

He looks annoyingly pretty. Neon mirrored lights illuminating his side profile like a painting, eyelashes naturally curled upwards like a goddamn prince. 

You almost want to punch him, but when he notices you walking towards him, he shoots you a knowing smile—and suddenly, that feeling of punching him slowly turns into one of kissing him, which is equally as bad. 

He doesn't say anything, merely nods beneath his hood and hands you a plastic bag. 

You take a peek inside, seeing your usual go-to purchases, and reaching into your hoodie pocket, "Thanks, I think I have a ten in my—"

"Don't want it."

You raise your eyebrows, lazily fighting off the grin that can't help but make its way across your face. But Suna, as always, is more shameless than you—not even bothering to hold back his own proud smile.

"You're paying for my pretzels and orange soda?" your voice comes airy, teasing, and Rintaro skims his tongue over his canine tooth to pretend he doesn't want to swallow the melody like water.

He's equally as playful when he flicks your forehead, "Only the finest for you." 

"And they say chivalry is dead." 

The night then goes how it always does, and the two of you begin the walk back to your house.

You never understood why it's always this song and dance, but one day, Suna insisted he walk you back. Just to be safe. You remember saying something about that not even making sense, about him walking twice as much for no reason, but he merely shrugged and continued to shove you towards the side of the pavement furthest from the street.

It's nice like this, with the sugar bubbling on your tongue and the humidity of the day dwindling to a nice cool summer night. The slight breeze is refreshing on the back of your neck.

The two of you walk in step with one another, talking about anything and everything—except what's actually on both of your minds.

Because two weeks from today, Rintaro leaves once again to travel across the world with EJP. And it's not the first time, but every time he leaves, you're afraid it will be the last. 

Because there has to be a last, there always is. 

One day, he's bound to get tired of returning to the small suburban town that holds your withering high school and shitty convenience store and you. He's destined for something bigger than this, olympic and grand and impressive.

It's inevitable that one of these times, he's going to get on a plane and not come back, and you can't even blame him. 

Noticing your faraway thoughts, he gently pushes your arm with his shoulder. 

"Stop thinking," he says, not needing to be told what you're thinking of. 

You shoot him a weak smile before your eyes return to the passing cracks in the pavement and you breathe, "I'm gonna miss this."

Rintaro thinks about saying that there's nothing to miss, that he’s still right here with you, but he knows what you mean and decides to bite his tongue. 

"Me too," he eventually sighs, kicking the rock he walks with and seeing how long he can keep it in his stride. "Being honest with you, it's like, the only thing bringing me back here." 

Your walking slows, eyebrows furrowing when you ask, "What do you mean?"

Rintaro follows your pace, eventually coming to a stop and turning around in front of you. The two of you stand on the barren sidewalk in the middle of the night, and though the silence is deafening, everything in the moment feels far too loud. 

In a wordless battle of who's gonna break first, Rintaro bites the bullet. 

"You're really gonna make me say it?" he whispers. 

You continue staring at him, and beneath the gaze of your pretty eyes, Rintaro finally allows himself to say what he's been trying to for all these months. 

"I've traveled the country, got to see places I didn't even know existed on the other side of the planet. I think I've tried every type of pretzel and shitty orange soda in the world, and then some." 

His voice falters a bit when he sees your face slightly fall, getting the wrong impression from his confession.

So naturally, he panics. Pathetically trying to find the correct romantic string of words to tell you everything he feels accurately, what ends up fumbling out of his charismatic mouth is—

"And you think I keep coming back to our shitty hometown for any reason other than you?"

You feel like all of the air has been ripped out of your lungs and the rug swept beneath your feet.

Suna swears that, thanks to some miracle handed to him, you’re laughing and shaking your head. And beneath the summer stars and humming of the streetlights, he decides that your smile is the closest thing he's seen to any kind of good omen or message from above. 

And a few weeks from now, you'll learn that irony is a funny thing—because while you were under the impression that this was the last time you'd be seeing Suna for a while, his nervous hand fiddled with his phone in his pocket, the same one he knew to hold two digital plane tickets, instead of one. 

#L's MIDNIGHTS EVENT! #suna x reader #suna rintaro x reader #suna x you #suna rintaro x you #suna fic #suna rintaro fic #suna angst #suna rintaro angst #suna fluff #suna rintaro fluff

[joyswonderland1108]

JK deserves better.

I can't believe i keep on coming back to talk about shitty subjects because this damn fandom can't give the boys a rest.

Feel free to disagree, feel free to fucking block me if you do strongly disagree but a gentle reminder, i am here for the tannies and the tannies only. With that being said, FUCK , and i mean this with all disrespect, them JK solos. Fuck all solos but this post is about JK so imma focus on what is going on.

Honestly i have a lot of shit to say but so little organisation in my head that this post might end up becoming a whole ass mess but bear with me. Now if you really do love JK this post will make a lot of sense for you.

Do i start off again by talking about the "world tour" rumors? Yes, let's do that.

World Tour

I guess i've already mentioned this in previous posts but i also want to add a small detail that JK himself talked about. I feel like there's this obsession with JK doing a world tour that is turning into an entitlement uncaring about JK really.. Army want JK to do a world tour, JK himself talked about it, said many times before that if he was to do a world tour it wouldn't be now, not enough songs, not enough time, he also talked not ONCE not TWICE about wanting to reunite with the boys in 2025.

Now the other detail that i wanted to add was the pressure, whether you like it or not, JK WAS pressured, he was supposed to release an EP but somehow in the process he was pressured to take more and that boy had to fucking record 5 songs in the span of a week, he also had a very condensed time frame to get everything ready to release a full length album, well what turned out to be a full length album. We've all seen it, his schedules were hectic AF to the point where JK looked sick at times in the airport, that boy was so fucking tired, Jimin also expressed concern over his health, and who are we to know better than them? The boys see him and know about him more than we will ever do and even they saw how it was fucking tiring for him.

In Suchwita JK mentioned that while yes a world tour is great but FOR NOW he wants to wrap it up with music shows (You'll have to excuse me i'm a whole mess so i'm not sure where to look for ss of exact moments i'm talking about my files are all messy but you know what i'm talking about.. hopefully) Now.. If and i say IF somehow there is a world tour announcement just know that this is part of the whole pressure. I don't even know how to explain it but if JK was pressured into releasing a full length album when he himself said WAY BEFORE that it would be an EP, then don't be surprised that he'd be pressured to do that damn world tour cause some ARMY can't shut the fuck up for the life of them.

Y'all seem to not give two fucks about this man's health, a world tour means even more hectic schedules for JK, instead of wanting that man to fucking rest, get healthy again, and actually wait for him, give him time to be ready physically and mentally, y'all want to rush him into giving you everything all at once because of your own enjoyment forgetting that he is not a machine, that he is a human being that is bound to break at some point.

You would think that after seeing how Yoongi looked tired af during his tour these people would have mercy on JK but no. And whether we like it or not, JK will have to enlist too and at the very least he should be well rested before starting his MS, burning him out and making him overwork himself just for him to have to do his military service next is actually cruel but let me guess, Army don't give a fuck about this now do they? They're still keeping in mind that baseless theory about JK enlisting way later.

Which takes us to the second point, MS.

Military Service

Just how many fucking times does JK have to tell y'all that he WANTS to reunite with the boys in 2025 for y'all to fucking understand that this is not about YOU it's about JK and his willingness to be with the other members. People just don't seem to realize how freeing it is to put MS behind your back, it's not just for Queer people, even if you're straight MS is very restricting for you so why on earth would JK want to be bound by a restriction for even longer?

And let's just go by these solos logic, JK is still young and doesn't have to enlist now, okay. By the time all the members will be done with their MS, JK will be of an age where he won't be able to postpone his anymore, and the result? All 6 members will be out ready to resume their group activities BUT JK. And then everybody will complain "How dare they resume their activities without their golden maknae" or they'll have to yet again set a hiatus and i don't think a hiatus is the first thing a group is looking for after their MS, a hiatus is the very last thing they think about when planning for a come back after MS.

I don't know if people see any logic in their very selfish thinking or..? Like please, do y'all even listen to JK? Do his words to you mean nothing? Is he just talking in an empty barrel? He has been telling us, not anyone else but US, he wants US to understand but somehow some people just can't seem to grasp at the reality of things. Is it that hard to support him on what he wants?

Moving on to the third point, and again i believe i did talk about this in a previous post or posts too but, those very disgusting song interpretations that for some damn reason is always coming from the hets (with all due respect to the respectful hets out there)

Song Interpretations

When he told Zane that the songs didn't reflect his real life i was wondering.. Did he perhaps see all those disgusting and disturbing interpretations of his previous songs aka Seven and 3D by het Army on Tiktok? It really had me thinking whether he just wanted to mention that because.. or did he really see those damned interpretations and he felt the need to put that in there just in case.

I mean when JK decided to show a more mature side of him, i'm pretty sure his intentions weren't for us to see him as your typical het fuckboy and exactly how is someone singing about sex making him a fuckboy? Since when does having a sex life makes you a fuckboy? Can't people committed to one person not have a sex life or..? Why does this boys always have to come here to clarify things?

Like can't y'all just be normal and at the very least do cute and funny interpretations instead of making it absolutely horrifying and i'm not even going to talk again about the photocards during Music Bank that fucking Tiktok Army gave a vile interpretation to..

The thing is, it doesn't stop at just ARMY there are other people who are as disgusting as some Army really.. Which takes me to my last point and i'm not even gonna say much about it cause this is worthy of a whole ass post that honestly i don't feel too much dedication for to make..

The Acquaintances

Do i have to say again that i'm here for the tannies and the tannies only? Well not just me but many of us are actually, so can some of you PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! Stop hyping up every single person that in a way or another has had a connection to the boys?

Seeing a damn journalist ditch professionalism and acting like a 12yo stan in the name of JK is just so.. WTF? You know things? Good for you but how about you shut the fuck up and let JK or the company do the announcement. I'm tired of seeing JK come to us everytime looking disappointed that we already know about what he might've been excited to announce to us HIMSELF. It's just so sad to see him go like "Oh i guess you already know.." Like.. No baby we do not please tell us, like PLEASE stop taking the excitement away from him, i would absolutely hate it to want to announce something related to ME just for a damn stranger to do it in my place.

You got the opportunity to work with JK, or as a professional to know things about JK? Amazing! Good for you, but please, it is not your place to be acting like those fake tea accounts on the tl.. Keep it to yourself or at the very least make one good post about it and shut the fucking fuck up until whatever is supposed to come out does then you can hype it up all you want.

Same for anyone who is working with JK, y'all need to stop giving them too much clout because the moment they end up being problematic, know that it is your own damn fault that haters end up coming for JK because y'all can't seem to put a difference between JK and the people who work with him, you always link them together and put them in the same box which ends up being a green light for haters to lump him into the same category as those problematic people.

Yes it is decent to have respect for the people working with the tannies as long as they do deserve that respect, once they show their true colors we do NOT have to keep that respect, now i'm not saying we should fight them but simply there is no need to hype them up. JK is not the people who are working with him and the people who are working with JK are not JK. Stop putting a label on what are those people to JK, Scooter is a whole ass dick but just because he is involved in JK's album it doesn't mean JK is the same as him, this and that are two different things and same for any single person who is working with any member.

We do not have to bootlick people just because they are working with BTS because i repeat the moment these people show their true colors it becomes a whole mess and our boys end up being dragged into a hell fest of hate, UNPROVOKED.

With that being said, please have some respect for JK, hype HIM up, show HIM support and please respect his own decisions, HIS DECISIONS, not someone else's but his.

AND STREAM GOLDEN!!!

#Nothing but love to JUNGKOOK #Golden boy JK

[arson-09]

Acowar Review✨✨ sjm needs to pay for my therapy✨✨

Its not as infuriating as acomaf but its still… bad.

Point 1: the court of ignorance and dumbassery

Lets cut to the chase. why the FUCK didnt feyre read Tamlin and Luciens minds at ANYPOINT while she was doin her hot girl shit of taking the spring court down??? huh sjm??? why is your fmc only powerful when convenient. So much could have been cut down. Acowar was way too long.

The whole destroying of the spring court didnt even make that much sense. Im all for a girlie getting back at the people who wronged her but feyre ended up hurting a lot of innocent people in the process. Feyre even tries to ignore the consequences of her actions. She had to invade peoples minds and manipulate people to get them to turn against tamlin and all this could have been avoided if she read his damn mind and learned he was a double agent. Lucien even hinted towards it

Part One: Princess of Carrion »

Chapter Six

None. It was either go to war with the Night Court and Hybern, or ally with Hybern, let them try to stir up trouble, and then use that alliance to our own advantage further down the road." "What do you mean," I breathed. But Lucien realized what he'd said, and hedged, "We have enemies in every court. Having Hybern's alliance will make them think twice." Liar. Trained, clever liar.

If feyre is supposed to be so smart, and she did pick up on this, why didnt she do anything? This is so frustrating.

Then once she leaves the spring court i found myself frankly not caring. Acomaf hadnt given me enough to care about the inner circle so i didnt and sjm cant make me like rhysand. which i have so many gripes but for word counts sake let me name my main ones

Point 2: Sarah Janet Maas and her shitty love interests

the ignoring rhysand sexual assault of feyre and EXCUSING it and his little habit of not telling his court things

Part Two: Cursebreaker »

Chapter Twelve

Was it going on before you even left?" I whipped my head to him, even if I could barely make out his features in the dark. "I never touched Rhysand like that until months later." "You kissed Under the Mountain." "I had as little choice in that as I did in the dancing." "And yet this is the male you now love." He didn't know-he had no inkling of the personal history, the secrets, that had opened my heart to the High Lord of the Night Court. They were not my stories to tell

here we have sjm acknowledging that yeah, rhysand Sexually Assaulted Feyre UtM in Acotar. Without her consent he dressed her inappropriately (which she was uncomfortable with) had her dance provocatively in his lap, kissed her, and made her drink alcohol so she wouldn't remember the details all without her consent. Yet Sjm is going “its fine” now and feyre herself going “you just dont get it…” ⁉️⁉️⁉️

Now see if sjm actually planned for rhysand to become the love interest why didnt she just avoid all this by having Amarantha make rhysand do this to feyre? Because that would have solved some issues but no. Because Rhysand did all this of his own free will in acotar. He actively chose to do this to feyre. To humiliate her and anger Tamlin because rhysand is obsessed with Tamlin.

Rhysand also loves to not tell his own court things. I was and still am very angry over him not telling Mor, Azriel, Cassien and at the very least his Wife about his plan with the court of nightmares. Just why.

Mors anger towards Nesta also makes no sense. sjm stop writing girl on girl hate challenge impossible

Point three: That one toy story scene “I dont wanna play with you anymore!”

Now tamlin. Tamlin tamlin tamlin im so sorry love for what sjm has done to you. If i start ill never stop. What Tamlin said to feyre and rhysand at the high lords meeting was out of pocket but he also wasnt wrong about some things. Also from established character these actions make no sense and his actions havent made sense since acomaf because sjm threw him and his character away to play with shadow daddy and bad morals. But she also cant commit to making a character of hers actually evil so tamlin saves the whole day by bringing the autumn court to fight and saving rhysand life. Tamlin has redeemed himself by sjm standards but she then wrote the holiday novel which i have read and detested.

Overall the plot was fine. i guess. it probably looked better when compared to the characters.

Sjm learn to redeem characters outside of “ooh they were abused and have trauma so everything they do is okay” for guys and “she fell in love/had sex with the most PERFECT MALE TO EVER MASCULINE.” its boring and flat. Also i know what happens in Acosf (i will not be reading that ty) so wtf happened to Nesta bro. she got the tamlin treatment. boooo 👎

to end off heres some of my favorite highlights from acowar 50%+ thru the book.

#a court of wings and ruin #anti acowar #anti sjm #sjm critical #anti rhysand #anti feysand #tamlin #pro tamlin #This book was bullshit

[opbackgrounds]

So I finished the live action and have taken a little time to get my thoughts together, and I'm very much of two minds about this show. I don't seem to be quite as high on it as some other people and the parts I didn't like I *really* didn't like, but I think the bones of the show are good and that the problems I had could be improved upon in future seasons.

More detailed thoughts under the cut

I've said all along that the live action will need to carve out its own identity if it wants to survive, that it needed not to copy the source material, but rhyme with it.

I feel like the first four episodes do that best. There was a lot to cover in the East Blue, and the more disconnected, episodic nature of the manga wasn't going to work. The solution was to combine and condense the manga content, and then add a significant B plot with the marines to help tie everything together.

The problem I have is that the addition of the marines takes away too much time from the Straw Hats without adding enough to make it worth it in the end. While backstories and story arcs were rushed to hell for our main crew, everything with Garp slogged, with the final payoff being nonsensical and poorly executed. I get what they were trying to do with Garp, shifting from childish temper tantrums to laughing maniacally, but it just doesn't work. Garp just doesn't work. Which is a shame, because I think that the growth for Koby and Helmeppo had a lot of potential and the actors exceeded my expectations. The material they had to work with just wasn't good enough.

Syrup Villiage worked best for me, because of all the arcs in the manga it was the most dragged out and poorly executed. It benefits from being condensed and leaning into the horror vibe over the generic shonen battle of the original was inspired. Plus, it validated my head canon of Kuro poisoning Kaya, which is always a nice feeling.

But even here, there's a knock-on effect of what came before it. Because Shells Town and Orange Town were cut down so drastically, Zoro's backstory and some of Nami's development were kicked on down the line, making Usopp more of a bystander in the arc where he should have shined the brightest. Later on the Baratie, Sanji's inner turmoil and struggle to follow his dream is reduced down to a "hey, the chore boy offered me a job, I'm gonna bounce".

And for what? So we can spend a painfully long scene of Garp eating a fucking steak?

The show needed its original ten episodes of runtime to let the characters just breathe. The chemistry amongst the crew is great, there are cinematic moments that took my breath away, the soundtrack is fire, the fights were enjoyable, and the set design is fantastic, but the depth of the manga is flattened. In the East Blue, every villain--even the shitty ones--acted as double foils. For example, Captain Morgan's narcissism contrasted with Zoro's willingness to throw away his good name in order to follow his dream, where his more villainous nature foiled Koby's heroism. In the show, Morgan barely counts as a villain, with his more disturbing and evocative acts such as telling his subordinates to shoot themselves (and more chillingly, them willing to do it) are cut out entirely, and it makes Garp's decision to later tie him up to the same post as Zoro seem almost insane.

Of all the arcs, Arlong Park left the worst taste in my mouth, which is so frustrating when it's supposed to be the crown jewel of the season. The changes they made to Nojiko are baffling and the one time I honestly don't understand why a change was made. Nami's backstory, the most powerful in the East Blue, was chopped into pieces and condensed so much that I felt nothing when Bellemere died. Luffy's decision to actually listen to Nami's backstory, while it made sense for this version of the character, went so against the spirit of the original that it took me out of the moment, as well as removing one of the aspects that makes Luffy such a unique character in the first place.

And for what, so the season had time to end with Luffy fighting Garp in a hopeless fight, only for Garp to let him go because "it was all a test"? Bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. The whole point of the East Blue is to establish the Straw Hat Pirates. They shouldn't be playing second fiddle to anyone, let alone this deranged, poorly written version of Garp.

I said that the bones of the show are good, and I stand by that. The Straw Hats are the Straw Hats. The One Piece world is the One Piece world. I do remain hopeful for improvements should there be a season two, because the marine B plot with Smoker is already in the manga, and the overarching story of Alabasta gives the writers the ability to be more flexible with the limited time that they have. I have to believe that it's easier doing one big story over the course of a season than it is trying to shove 5 origin stories into 8 episodes, but I'm not a TV person so I might be wrong.

However, my concern is that in some ways season one benefited from the pandemic. The series was in pre-production for like 7 years, and all the interviews I've read have credited the extra time the series had in the developmental oven for my favorite aspects of the show--particularly the sets. That's not going to necessarily the case going forward, and my worry is if future seasons aren't given the time to get it right that it's all going to fall apart. At the same time they can't wait too long, because that's not how live action works.

The live action isn't a bad show, but it isn't a good show, either. I'm glad that it exists, even if it's only to point back to the original. I wouldn't be devistated if it were cancelled, but would certainly check out season two should it get renewed.

Just, please. No more Garp. I'm begging Matt Owens and Oda himself, please. Just let the man do cool stuff off screen for a couple seasons, and when he's reintroduced pretend all this never happened. Your show will be better for it, I promise.

#opbackgrounds #opla #live action one piece #sarc talks