#when my eyes need a break (always) and it isnt enough to close them and put on sunglasses (that never is enough)

[milkweedman]

Me (incredibly photosensitive of late): surely finally remembering to take a polaroid of one of my houseplants during the daytime won't take more than a minute or two and won't cause any problems for my eyes which are already behaving very poorly today

Me after spending 20 minutes trying to get an angle that I can actually take a picture from, having been beaming light directly into one eye this entire time: oh...

#at least i used up the rest of my color film #it may have already gone bad idk. still developing and cant see shit rn #unrelated i hate that my walls are bright white and we're explicitly forbidden from painting them in the lease #when my eyes need a break (always) and it isnt enough to close them and put on sunglasses (that never is enough) #and its daytime ? oh too bad ! cause my room is incredibly bright as is everywhere else all the time #want a room with green walls... #my eyes kind of feel like they are on fire i rly hope at least one of these polaroids is decent #chronic illness

[nyx-is-missing]

Could u write one for clarisse where she's impressed with femR bc of how good she is at fighting and all and clarisse finds her incredibly attractive bc no one has challenged her the way R does?

And like a bit of pining until the two confess

Thank you!!

Breathtaking or taken

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader

Summary: when Clarisse finds a opponent worth of her, she is breathtaken.

Warnings: none really, just fluff, not a descriptive fight scene on sight cause mama dont know how to write that, so just fluff fluff, and mutual pining fluff

(Do i need to say its not proofread? No? Thank you)

Here is one of the main benefits of being a daughter of Athena, you'll know.

DIfferent from other gods, Athena will let your parent know it is her who they are talking to.

And if letting them know beforehand isnt enough, she will let them know when the baby is brought to them, and if your parent is smart enough to live up to her choice, you'll have time to learn a thing or two before being thrown into this world.

If your parent cares enough about you, you'll have time.

And sure as hell my mom cared.

Always the intelectual woman, historian, researcher, writter, my mom knew many things about ancient greece, she knew all the stories by heart, and she, of all people, knew what she needed to do, to preserve her only daughter, her sacred gift.

She teached me all i needed to learn without compromising myself, stories, languages, art...and fight.

Little girls my age were doing dance classes, were trying to be good enough for drama club, were playing tea party with their dolls or making a mess with their mom's make up.

Well...i.. i was doing martial arts, i was fencing, i had my face in a book every free time i got.

I always asked her about it, why was she so strict about never missing a fight leasson, her answer always made sense, there and now.

"The world is cruel, especially for little girls, someday i might not be all the time with you, someday, you'll fight your own battles, you need to be ready"

Every word, every single word is true.

And that is how i ended up here, in a arena of camp half blood, sparring with Clarisse, and winnig, by two points, yes, but winning.

It is clear nobody expected that from me, neither did she actually, i can see in her eyes.

Understandable, they expect Athena kids to be calm, find a solution, not fight her way out.

Honestly their looks dont bother me, i dont even think much of it, but Clarisse's looks, they got something more to them, like a kid who finally got the dog she really wanted.

"Aaand break time Clarrise, we'll continue this tomorrow, id like to enjoy the rest of my afternoon thank you"

I dropped the sword down and started to undo my armor while walking close to the exit.

"Wait wait wait, now? Already? C'mon i didnt even had time to figure out how do you do that... all of that"

She stood next to me, still holding her sword and honestly.. she was beautiful, yes she was sweaty now and yes she was mean to everyone but.. now...right now, she was beautiful, shining, in her element really, flushed cheeks and a smile she only had when with a sword in hand.

"I practice, ever since i was a kid, everyday, well expect in weekends but yeah, almost everyday... how do you do all that? You are good...-want some water?"

I offered her my bottle also motioning for her to walk with me, both wich she gladly accepted.

"I practice too...and i never said this to anyone but, you are good, great even, and look breathtaking"

We stop walking, we stop all actually.

"I look what, Clarisse?"

"Breathtaken- you look out of breath, do you want the water back?"

Ah.

Weeks later i found myself in the same scenario, sparring with Clarisse again, actually that is all i do when it comes to training, be with Clarisse

"C'mon curls, thats the best you've got? No need to go easy on me"

"Im not going easy, i already told you, you caught me distracted thats all- GIRL WIll YOU SUSH?"

She tried to block you with her sword, thankfully for her, a succeded attempt.

"How could i? You're so fun to mess with, gets all red n all"

"Oh you want to talk about getting red?"

In a moment i was on the floor, Clarisse on top of me, and i couldnt speak, all i could do was stare into her big brown eyes, who looked right into my soul.

"Cant speak anymore huh? Oh if you could see the red im seeing-"

Now this my ladies and gentlemen, this is what i call a shot of faith.

I raised my head a little and just..i kissed her, it was quick but I did it, and her face went blank.

"Now you are breathtaken Curls, how about that?"

"And you are still breathtaking"

Still?

Oh

Oh.

"You...like me Clarisse?"

"You didnt knew?"

Oh.

"....no..?"

"Would you walk away if i kissed you this time?"

"....no."

#fanfic #lesbian #clarisse pjo #pjo tv show #pjo series #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse x reader #clarisse la rue

[gyubaseone]

seok matthew. one call away

❛ i just wanna be with you. ❜

pairing — seok matthew x f!reader

genre — angst with fluff at the end !

synopsis — even if it feels like the world is crashing down, matthew will always be there.

warnings — none i think.. lmk if there is anything ! third person pov, not proofread.

word count — 946

notes — literally stuck in my parents room because the ac isnt working and it ruined my train of thought 😭 TRYING TO WRITE NOW I SWEAR. also new format.. how are we liking it ?? + i wrote this at 3 am.. probably alot of mistakes which i will fix in the morning 🫠

★ ( please fill out this form to be on my taglist ) ❕

y/n's whole life had been falling apart ever since she stepped foot outside of her shared apartment with her boyfriend, seok matthew, hours ago.

if being stuck in traffic and waking up late wasn't enough for her, y/n's boss had fired her earlier that day as well.

it had been for multiple reasons; the company being overstaffed and the work was slow but her being late that day just threw her boss over the edge he was barely hanging onto.

normally y/n wouldn't feel so overwhelmed, but with the recent closing of her lease and sharing an apartment with her boyfriend, she's been very stressed to say the least.

her being financially unstable after just moving in with her boyfriend was her biggest worry. y/n's second worry was breaking the news to matthew and seeing the disappointment on his face.

what if he broke up with her then and there? what if he left her on the streets to rot? what would she do without him?

matthew was like her sun. he was always there for her and cheered her up at her worst moments. even the times where she insisted that she was fine and just wanted to be alone, he could read her like a book and know just how she felt.

it was ironic. the only person who understood her complex emotions was the person she was trying to avoid at that moment.

y/n found herself at a beach minutes away from their apartment complex, not daring to enter the place where she knew matthew would be. that was the last thing she wanted to do at that moment.

she just wanted to sort out her thoughts alone, sitting on the gravely sand. there was just this feeling inside of her that craved the comfort of matthew and his warm hugs, but y/n knew she would just burst into tears the moment he appeared in front of her.

"what's got you so deep in thought?" a voice spoke softly, sitting down besides her.

y/n could recognize that voice from a mile away. even without her facing him, she knew it was matthew. no one had that soothing, relaxed voice as sweet as his.

"how'd you know i was here?" y/n asked, not turning her head to face him just yet, trying her best to not break down in a matter of seconds.

"you always come here when you feel down," matthew answered, basking in the rays of lights beaming on him. "i figured something was up when you didn't respond to my million texts."

"just needed some time to think," y/n remarked, looking down at her hands as she played with them to distract herself.

as moments of silence passed by, she felt matthew's warm hand press against her cold cheek to lift her head up and face him. once her eyes met his, y/n couldn't help but shed a few tears while he smiled at her.

"what's wrong sweetheart? you know you can tell me anything right, hm?" he comforted, using his thumb to wipe her tears away before stroking her hair behind her ear.

"we don't have to talke either," matthew assured, pulling her closer to lean on his shoulder, "we can just stay like this if you want to."

he pulled away from y/n for a moment, admiring her face with a smile on his before leaning in to press a kiss on her forehead then leading down to her nose before pressing a short kiss on her lips.

"i love you, okay?" matthew rubbed his hand against her head, giving her an endearing look like he always did before pulling her back into a hug.

"i got fired from my job," y/n admitted, nuzzling her head closer to matthew's neck to stop the tears from flowing down her face.

"that's their lost then," matthew said with a slight frown on his face, his brows knit together. "how can they let go of someone amazing like you?"

"we can get through it, i promise," he asserted confidently, pulling y/n closer to him as if she couldn't get any closer, "maybe we can go on a vacation too.. just the two of us, away from everything for a bit."

"matt, you have a job," y/n pulled away from him with a slight smile on her face, feeling slightly better after her boyfriend's comforting efforts.

"i have sick days i can use," matthew replied, putting his hands on y/n's cheeks to squish them together, "i just wanna be with you. i don't care about anything else."

"and if you ever feel like this again, don't be scared to talk to me," matthew leaned closer to her face, admiring y/n's beauty for a moment.

"i'm only one call away," he smiled, leaning in for another short kiss on y/n's lips before pulling away only to lean in once again. "i just can't get enough of you."

"oh shut up," y/n pushed him away playfully, attempting to cover her rosy cheeks.

"what, i can't love my girlfriend?" matthew frowned cutely, supressing a kiss onto her cheek before swiftly moving to her nose; ending up kissing every inch of her face.

"stop, it tickles!" y/n laughed out, her hands scattering in an attempt to push matthew away brefore eventually giving up.

"i love you, matthew," y/n muttered, looking into his shimmering eyes for a moment before looking towards the sunrise.

"i love you too, y/n," matthew responded, pressing another kiss onto her cheek while his arms wrapped around her waist to pull her closer.

© gyubaseone — please refrain from copying, translating, reposting or claiming my work as your own.

#zb1 #zerobaseone #zerobaseonefics #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone imagines #zb1 imagine #zb1 imagines #seok matthew #zb1 seok matthew #zb1 matthew #matthew zb1 #seok matthew x reader #seok matthew imagines #boys planet #boys planet imagine #gyubaseone #gyubaseone works. 🐰

[cxrsed-angel]

eddie x fem!reader (angst)

warning: angst no warnings i don’t think, around 2k words, not proofread

a/n: been in bad place mentally and i guess this was the result

You and Eddie had been broken up for almost a month now after being together for 2 years. When he broke up with you, he didn't give you a specific reason, he didn't say that he stopped loving you or you’ve done something wrong or anything. You wished he would’ve given you a reason as to why. You thought everything was going great, he graduated in ‘86 and started working as a mechanic, and you were both saving up to move into an apartment in Indianapolis while you attending Indiana State. You had a plan. What went wrong?

You were lying in your bed next to your stuffed animals, you had all the ones Eddie gave you in a box off to the side of your room. You didn't have the heart to donate them, they were really cute and had fun memories attached to them, but you couldn't look at them without starting to tear up. You missed him so much.

The Cure’s Pornography album softly played in the back. You look over at the stuffed animal box and see your white dragon stuffed animal Eddie had given you one day. He had the matching black one. You started thinking about the day he broke up with you, you tried hard not to, but it almost always played on replay in your head whenever you were alone with your thoughts.

You had just knocked on Eddie’s trailer, but you could tell something was off when he answered the door. He didn't look into your eyes, his body language was closed off, and he held his head down.“Um hey um come in” “are you okay” “um we need to talk.” You felt your heart sink into your stomach, you started getting a lump in your throat. “Ok what do you want to talk about” “babe-no um this wow hard,” he laughed lightly, but you could tell it was out of nerves more than anything “Eds you’re starting to scare me did-did you like cheat on me or something” “What! No no but um I think we should stop seeing each other” You felt your heart get ripped out of your chest. You suddenly couldn't breathe. You were trying as hard as you could to start not crying. “What-what-what’d you mean like a-like-a um a break or a pause or something like that” You saw him shake his head, still not looking into your eyes. “No like stop all together not a break” “you want to break up?” He just nods “why-why, did I um do something” He shakes his head. “You could at least fucking look me in my eyes Edward” your voice started to get louder, the sadness starting to mix with anger. He couldn’t even look at you, “why do you want to break up” “just because,” he said nonchalantly. He looked like he didn’t even care. “No this isnt something you can shrug off, do you not love me anymore, did you sleep with someone else, do you just not want to be-” “God! Can’t you just leave Jesus I don’t want to deal the 3rd degree right now can you just leave!” He yelled at you, it was the first time he had looked into your eyes since you’d gotten inside his trailer. “Sure Eddie yea um have a good life.” You stormed out, almost slamming the door, but you remembered he hadn’t gotten fixed yet and didn't want to cause anymore damage, especially to Wayne. You just get into your car and drive home.

Your pink phone ringing on the nightstand next to your bed breaks out of your thoughts that were replaying the scene again and again. You looked at the clock. It was 12 am, who is calling you this late? You get up and sit on the edge of your bed, “Um hello” there was a silence “hello?” you asked, more annoyed now “look if this is fucking prank-” “fuck i missed your voice” you pause, hearing his voice, you missed his too, but anger started boiling again. “Wrong number” you slam your phone down and lay back on your bed. You start reading your book to distract your mind from him. About 30 minutes later, your phone rings again, you stare at it, a part of you know it's Eddie again, but there’s a small part of you that was naive enough to believe it was someone else. You knew it was unlikely you didn't really have friends, especially ones who would call you this late; you were just acquaintances with Eddie’s, honestly. You sigh and picked up the phone “I'm not fucking doing this all night, Eddie” “I know I know but I just really wanted to hear you” He sounded off like he was high or something, you could hear it in his voice. “Are you fucking high right now?” there was a pause “maybe” “fuck you Eddie. ” You slam your phone down but leave it off the hook so he couldn’t call back. “That dick he doesn't call you for weeks, goes out of his way to avoid you, then calls you high he probably wants to come over and get his dick wet”, you thought to yourself.

You lay back down for a minute until you sit up and remember you have a personal phone and a general home phone for your apartment that your mother insisted you have when you moved out. You lay back down, “he wouldn't, right?” You thought about it for a minute and sat up “yea, the motherfucker would” you sprint to the phone as soon as you entered your living room, you see it ringing. You know you should just leave it alone, then take it off the hook and go about your night, but a small piece you believe he’s gonna call, apologize, and you’ll be back together that piece won. You slowly pick it up. “Hello?” this time, you stayed silent “babe, I know you're there,” you still don't respond “please just say something” you had nothing to say, though. You felt numb, you had lost your best friend and the love of your life all in one night, and he couldn't even give you a reason. And here he was calling you high, why, you started crying, ‘why couldn't he break my heart and leave me alone” you thought. You sniffled through the speaker “are-are you crying” you start crying more, hearing his soft tone. The one that had comforted you when you got rejected from your dream college when your pet guinea pig died, every time you had an existential crisis, or every time you would feel alone from having no close friends, he was always there. You sniffle into the phone again “wrong number,” you say coldly. You slam the phone down on and left it hanging off the wall.

You flop down on your couch and start crying, crying over the fact that you had no one, no one you could call and ask for help or talk to, crying because it was going so well, or so you thought, you felt like you messed everything up, like you did something wrong. You slowly cried yourself to sleep like you’d done almost every night since the breakup.

You were woken up by soft knocking on your door, you sat up looking at the clock on your coffee table, “why is someone knocking at 7:00 am” the knocking started getting more aggressive “Ok, Okay give me a minute!” You open the door and see Dustin and Steve arguing “No man, you didn't need to bang her door down at 7:00 in the morning.” “Well, I can't come after school you know that” “yea but I'm just saying we can just knock lightly and -” you look between them “hey whats this about?” “um can we come in,” Dustin asks? You just open the door wider “sure its not like I was sleeping or anything.”

They both come in and sit on your couch. “I would offer drinks but you woke me up before noon so you dont get a nice host” “thats fair thats fair um Steve do you want to um start” you lift your eyebrow up “ok seriously what is this” ‘its about-um Eddie” you stand up and walk over you your front door “get out” “wait just hear him out please” you look at Dustin and roll you eyes as you sit by down “what about…him” “He’s been miserable lately” “and thats my probably because?” “you guys need to get back together, he hasn’t been coming to Hellfire, the dungeon master, he takes is role very seriously and not like him to miss one session let alone every week.” “look Dustin thats rough but I dont understand want you want me to do” Steve started talking “maybe just hear him out whatever he did to make you want to take-” “wait wait wait you think I broke up with him” “well yea he didnt tell us but by the state he’s in we thought you ended it” you laugh and shake your head “no you guys got it all wrong um” you look down “he broke up with me.” There was a huge pause, “holy shit” “holy shit’ “yea holy shit guys so if this is over i would like to go back to sleep.’” They both nodded “um yea come on Henderson I’ll drop you off at school” “yea yea um we’ll see you later,” you wave and lock the door behind them.

You go to your bedroom and gain the sudden motivation to take all of Eddie’s stuff back to his trailer. You hope now would he would be at his shift at the car shop so you wouldn’t see him. After an hour, you were almost done until you see the box of stuffed animals. You were gonna be sad not seeing them, but you knew you needed to give them back if you ever want to even think about moving on. You put the stuffed animals in with the plastic box you had from moving, you decided to do one big box instead of smaller cardboard boxes that way, you just drop it off and move off with your life.

After a 15-minute drive and 10-minutes stalling outside the trailer park, you finally enter and park by his trailer. “Ok, you got this, you got this,” you say to yourself as you get the box out of your backseat. You take a deep breath and knock on the door, you were so anxious and nervous you wanted to turn back and cry, but you waited. You see Wayne open the door “hey kid,” “um hi Wayne um I have some of Eddie’s stuff” He nods, “come on in.” You shake your head, you weren't ready to step back into the place where you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. You weren't ready to see his stuff, to be in the place that had once been your safe place that now kept you wondering what you did wrong, why didn't he want to be with you anymore. “Come on, kid, we can still be friends” you look up at him, crying a little bit “um really” he nodded “of course.” You slowly walk in and stand in the middle of the living room. “You can just put that on the floor” you put the box and floor and go to sit on the couch, but waves of memories come flooding in, all the movies nights, the first time you tried weed, make-out sessions, him teaching about DnD and showing you the newest campaign he had worked on, you just stare down at the couch.

“You can sit on the barstool, um by the counter” you just nod and go to sit. “Im gonna be honest with you, kid, this is the worst I've seen him since, um since his parents.” You didn't know much about his parents but knew they left him when he was around 10 or 11. That's all he ever told you, and he never mentioned it again. “Well um, he-he made his choice” Wayne walked over and sat on the bar stool next to the one. “My nephew, he um has a tendency of ruining good things, he has a leave before they leave me first mindset, you know, he’s been abandoned by his parents, friends one he started being himself you know, he the the town he grew up abandoned him in a way, you were his first serious girlfriend and honestly sweetie I think he got spooked, he really loves you, and you loves him back, and he’s so use to only me being around I think he wanted to leave before you left him” you felt the tears pooling up in your eyes, now it made sense why he never gave you a reason he was leaving before you left him, you look up at Wayne, “he thought I was gonna leave him” you started crying harder “I wasnt going to,” you say through sobs, Wayne puts a hand on your back “I know you weren't kid I know.” You stay there just crying life you've been doing all month, you just missed him so much, you don't even know how long you’ve been crying, you just felt so bad that he thought you were going to leave him or suddenly not want you and that so many people in his life has made him feel that way, he was the sweetest person you’ve ever known, and didn't deserve all the shit he put up with,

In between crying, you go to get up to leave when you hear the door open, and you feel the same way you did a month ago, lump in your throat, your heart suddenly in your stomach, you felt like you couldn't breathe. “Hey Wayne, I’m gonna go smoke in my-” You slowly get off the barstool “um I was just go-” “no-no, you two need to talk ” You see Wayne grab his keys and walk out. You stand still, staring at the floor, you couldn’t look at him. “Um, listen I’m really sorry,” you see him start to walk near you and flinch away, stepping back, distancing yourself from him. “For-for the calls or-” “ for that and for ending it the way I did, so suddenly, honestly, that night I realized how much I love you, and I’ve never loved anyone like the way I love you, it scared the shit out of me sweetheart, then I started thinking how you weren’t made to stay in Hawkins, you weren't meant to stay in this small ass town, babe, I realized I was holding you back and you could do so much better than me.” You see tears in his eyes now “but I don't want anyone else because there is no one better for me than you Eds. I love you so much, and I would never leave you, and You weren’t made for Hawkins either. You’re too metal for this small ass town.” You see him smile slightly, “but you really hurt me, you know that, right” he nodded “I know, babe I was stupid I should've just talked to you, I just didn't know what to do” you nod “I know Eds”  “can I give you a hug” you nodded again, and he pulls you tightly against his chest “I’m so sorry baby I will never do that again promise Im so so sorry.” You pushed him away slightly “but if you ever break up with me again and proceed to call me high in the middle night Im not taking you back” he laughs a little “while that is fair, I promise I will never break up with you ever again.” You lean up to kiss him and bent down a little and grabbed your face, his lips felt nice and  comforting.

He pulls you away from him, slightly looking down into your eyes, and you stare back at his, “man his eyes are so pretty,” you thought to yourself “I’ve missed my princess, babe” you wipe tears off your face “I’ve missed you more.” “do you want to cuddle or do you still need some space from me” “I can use a cuddle, but Eds, please, please come talk to me ok, I’m here for you and I never want you to feel that way about us again ok babe” he nods and tears slowly falling “I promise”

He wraps an arm around your waist and you walk back to his room. You both take off your shoes and lay down in his bed. He pulls you tightly into him “ ive missed your cuddles” “me too”

#angel writes #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader angst #angst with a happy ending #eddie munson x reader angst #eddie munson x fem!reader #stranger things #stranger things fic

[cassiopeiasdaughter]

Hi! I hope you're doing okay with your exams and remembering to look after yourself ☺️

I was wondering if i could request a fluffly Black siblings fic (non-platonic relationships are irrelevant so they could be whatever if you wanted to include one). Reader is Regulus' twin and they're exhausted. Being prefects to the Slytherins isn't always easy, add quiddich and being top students, there isnt enough hours to get enough uninterupted sleep. So they break into the gryffindor tower and nap in Sirius bed instead because at the end of the day he's their big brother and he'll always look after them. When the Marauders get back to their dorm, he's the first to walk in and just pauses, he hasnt noticed them yet but its like big brother mode is activated and he just knows the others need to shut up immediately and it takes him a few minutes (and Remus' observation) that his bed is occupied.

Then the whole fluff thing is up to you between the siblings. I firmly believe Sirius would be the best big brother he could be. Anyway, tysm for taking the time to read my request ♥︎

A/N: thank you for sending this! I kind of freestyled it, as I was writing is. The form of headcanons made sense in my mind- and I always wanted to write something in this format 🤭🩶

Sirius Black masterlist

Sirius Black as an older brother headcanons:

-despite your family and his disownment you are close to him and admire him

-but ever since that summer, you've grown apart

-he can be overprotective but will never show it to you

-one night he sees you in his bed

-it reminds him of home

-when you wanted to escape your parents or when you couldn't sleep at night you would run to his bed, and curl up in his blankets 

-he would sit on the floor holding your hand

-he would tell you stories of his adventures with the marauders or he would softly sing his favorite Muggle songs (Bowie)

-"There is no way you four idiots were able to pull that off" you would laugh, "Shut up, and you better watch out next year, or you might end up with feathers and glue all over your hair", he'd reply and you'd both laugh together

-when you'd finally fall asleep he would cry, his mind reminding him of his parents and all the fights

-you pretended to be asleep

-“Prongs, be quiet.”, he would tell James the moment his eyes land on you, his protective side making an appearance

“Come on, I think I saw Lily by the fireplace”, Remus would tell the guys so they could leave you alone

-he would take your shoes off and any uncomfortable piece of clothing you had on

-drape a blanket over you 

-he wouldn’t leave you though 

-he would stay with you for a minute and watch over you

-he hasn’t been home for a while and he feels guilty for leaving you and Regulus alone

-so he sits by his bed, like he used to do

-his head leans on the mattress and his hand lightly touches yours

-"I am sorry", he would whisper

-sorry for leaving, sorry for not being strong enough to fight for you and Regulus. Sorry that he can't protect you, be the older brother he is supposed to be

-he doesn't know that he is the best brother you could have asked for

-he doesn't know how much you love him, how the thought of him safe at the Potters house, brings you hope; hope that one day you will escape also, you will find your true family, like he did.

-he definitely doesn't know how much he inspires you

-you want to fight for the world, fight for everything he believes in, for everything you also believe in, thanks to him

-he drifts off, with the thought of you three as children; playing together, House rivalry and blood purity, concepts completely unknown 

A/N: this was interesting and I would definitely like to explore Sirius as an older brother sometime. But, this is the best I could do, for now... Thank you for requesting this, and thank you for your kind message <3

#Sirius black older brother headcanons #sirius black platonic reader #sirius black angst #sirius black imagine

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Find Your Shape

Prompt: I know this isnt exactly a prompt, but it's a scene I had in mind (hope that's okay?)

When Janus shapeshifts, he tries to assume someone's personality and sometimes gets lost in it, but can always step out of the act afterwards.

Janus' shapeshifting powers basically spaz out and he starts switching through the other sides and mixing and matching their styles by accident and he doesn't know how to stop it. It's making him question his identity and lose himself. So the others just witness him flipping through and try to calm him down?

Sorry, I'm not the best at describing. - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: derealization, dissociation, arguable panic attack

Pairings: DLAMPR

Word Count: 2071

Patton blinks when he comes downstairs to see Janus staring off at the window. His hands are bunched in his lap—and there seems to be something…in them? Oh, no, wait, those are more of his hands. Oh, dear. 

“Janus? You okay, kiddo?”

“I’m perfectly reasonable, jeez, Pop-Star, don’t you worry about me, Patton, there are kraken tentacles outside!”

Uh. 

Okay. 

Hold on a second. 

Patton slowly holds up his hands, showing that he’s not a threat, then makes his way over to the other end of the couch. Janus doesn’t turn toward him. 

“You…wanna try that again?”

“Ugh, I said I’m fine, there’s no cause for you to worry, I’m all good, Padre, I can feel ants crawling around in my bones.”

Nope. Definitely bad. Patton takes a deep breath and reaches out. “Janus? Can you look at me?”

“Why?”

Well, one word’s better than the amalgamation of…everyone. “I want to see if you’re having trouble focusing again.”

“I don’t see why I’d have to look at you for that,” he spits, voice sliding from Remus’s cackle to Logan’s deadpan and back just as quickly. 

“…it’s okay if you are, kiddo, I just want to help.”

“Well, maybe I don’t need your help.”

The reminder of Virgil’s voice—and face—spitting through those same words is almost enough to make him flinch, but he forces himself to breathe through it instead. “Are you hurting?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I care about you, Janus,” he says easily, “and I want you to be alright.”

Janus takes a deep breath, his hands rippling in his lap as he gets a little smaller on the couch. Slowly, his face turns and Patton stifles a noise. 

Glasses hang from one ear, markup smeared under one eye, his hair unsure whether it wants to poke out white or brown from under his hat that looks more as if it’s been crammed on his head than placed there. 

Under his cloak, he can see flashes of red, blue, and green. His gloves keep shimmering as though he can’t decide whether he wants to keep them on or off. As he glances up at Patton, the one slitted pupil is drawn as tight as the curtains. 

“Hey,” Patton says softly, “you having a bad time?”

He nods once. Sharply. 

“Can we help?”

“How?”

“Just like last time, do you remember last time?” 

Janus closes his eyes and shakes his head back and forth. “Is—is that the shifting help?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, that’s the shifting help.” 

“…okay.”

“Yeah? Is it cool if I call everybody?”

Janus glances out the window again. Patton follows his gaze. 

“What are you looking at, sweetheart?”

“The sun,” Janus says, but the words aren’t coming out like him, they sound like—like Logan, like Roman, when they have a problem they can’t seem to solve, “I…I want it.”

Patton blinks. “You want the sun?”

“Yes,” Janus hisses, “but I don’t know why.”

It’s because you’re a snake and you get cold easily, he wants to say, but he can’t just give Janus the answers. He needs to figure them out for himself. Sort through the mess and find himself again. 

“Can I call them, sweetheart, or do you want another moment?”

Janus looks down at his hands. They curl and uncurl in his lap. The gloves still shimmer. 

“…I want them out of me.”

Breathing a sigh of relief when he sounds like Janus for a moment, Patton nods and reaches out.

“Whoa, Pop-Star, give me some warning next time.”

“Hello! I am here, what can I break?”

“Patton? Is everything alright?”

“Yeesh, Padre, you grabbed my hair!”

Patton winces as all of them start talking at once, quickly holding up his hands to prevent any further comments. He glances at Janus who…well, is still looking out of the window. 

“Shapeshifting help,” he says quietly, nodding to their snake. 

“Ah,” Logan says, adjusting his tie and his glasses, “I see. Do we have an order?”

“Me first,” Remus says, oddly sober as he steps forward. “Mine’s the hardest to sit in once.”

He walks over to Janus’s peripheral, crouching down and waving to get his attention. 

“Hey, Snakey,” he calls, waiting for Janus’s head to swing over to him, “you with me?”

“Remus.”

“Yeah, Snakey, it’s me. Heard you’re in a shift-stuck, can I help?” Janus nods. “Yeah? Okay, great. Can you do me a favor and try to copy me?”

Slowly, Remus eases himself into a seated position, crossing his legs and setting his palms on his knees. Janus tries to mirror his position, clumsily crossing his legs too. Remus reaches up and takes a hold of a chunk of his hair. 

“Copy me, Snakey.”

As Janus reaches up, the glove on his hand vanishes and the hat gives way to a stripe of white hair. Another moment and his clothes shimmer too, until an exact copy of Remus is sitting on the couch. 

“Good, good job, Snakey.” Remus lets go of his hair. “My name is Remus. I’m Creativity.”

“My—my name is Remus. I’m Creativity.”

“Good job. Now let me go.”

Janus-as-Remus closes his eyes, shuddering once, twice, before he morphs back into himself again. The gloves are a little more opaque this time and some of the mania is gone from his eyes. The white stripe fades completely. 

“Good, Snakey.” Remus stands up. “You did really well.”

“Okay,” Patton mumbles, “who’s next?”

“You, Padre, go for it.”

Patton stands up too, moving to stand in front of Janus and smiling. “Hi, sweetheart.”

“Patton?”

“Yeah, kiddo, it’s me. Can you copy me too?”

Patton runs his hands carefully over the hoodie sleeves tied over his shoulders. Janus’s hands fit to the patterns he sets, the gold chains becoming grey sleeves, the mess under his cloak morphing to red, yellow, then light blue. Glasses form on his face and an identical Patton sits on the couch. 

“Good job, kiddo.”

“Good job, kiddo,” says Janus-as-Patton. 

“I’m Patton. I’m Morality.”

“I’m Patton. I’m—I’m Morality.”

“Now let me go, kiddo, you can do it.”

Janus-as-Patton takes a deep breath and shimmers, glasses fading, light blue disappearing under yellow. Only the ghost of eyeshadow remains on Janus’s face, cape cluttered by the afterimage of a tie and a red sash. 

“I got this,” Virgil mutters, sliding to take Remus’s former position on the ground. “Hey, J.”

“Virgil.” He’s starting to sound more like himself. Good. “You…your hair isn’t purple.”

“Yeah, it grew out.” Virgil raises his hand to muss it up. Well, muss it up more. “Can you copy me, bud?”

Another Virgil sits on the couch, playing with his hair. His hands slide down to worry at the hoodie strings. 

“Hey, bud, keep copying me. That’s right, you can do it. Uh-huh, just like that.” Virgil slowly raises his hand, opening it and closing it a few times, watching Janus-as-Virgil do the same. “Good. Ready? I’m Virgil.”

“I’m Virgil.”

“I’m Anxiety.”

“I’m An—An—“

“You can do it bud, I believe in you.”

“I’m Anxiety,” Janus-as-Virgil gasps, “I’m Anxiety.”

“Hey, you did it, good job. Can you let me go now?”

The person on the couch hunches over, curling around himself, arms going around his waist. Big shuddering breaths heave out like nails on a chalkboard. As he drags air in and out of his lungs, the mess of hair on his head starts to shimmer. 

“C’mon, bud,” Virgil murmurs, “I know it’s hard. You can do it. Just let me go. It’s okay. We’ve got you.”

The hoodie flickers in and out, once, twice, then a gloved hand shoots out and grabs for Virgil. 

“Hey, I’m right here. Feel that? I’m outside you. You got me. You just gotta push it at me.”

The person gives one last great gasp and Janus reforms, panting but no eyeshadow in sight. 

“Hey, bud, that was a big one. You did great, okay? It’s okay. You did it, it’s over.” Virgil squeezes his hand. “You want a break?”

Janus shakes his head. “Want this over with.”

“Okay,” Roman mumbles under his breath, “how is it that he managed to sound like me and Logan and himself when he said that?”

“Because you assholes say it like that all the time.”

“Kiddos,” Patton warns, “Logan and Roman, who’s going first?”

“I will.” Logan takes a deep breath and goes to crouch in front of Janus. “Janus? Can you hear me?”

“Logan.”

“Yes, that’s right.” Logan puts a hand flat on his chest, right under the knot of his tie. “Copy me.”

Janus-as-Logan takes shape quicker, his expression flat as he keeps his eyes on Logan’s hands. 

“I’m Logan.”

“I’m Logan.”

“I’m Logic.”

“I’m Logic.”

“Good work. Now you can let me go.”

Janus-as-Logan looks down at his hand, opening and closing it a few times. It shimmers, a glove reforming and flowing into a black sleeve, a black cloak, scales covering one side of his face. He looks around at them. 

Almost there. 

“Hi, little snake,” Roman murmurs as his eyes land on him, “can you copy me?”

He raises his hand, waiting for Janus to do the same, closing it into a fist and laying it over his heart. Janus mimics the motion, frowning in concentration as Roman waits patiently. 

It takes another moment for Roman’s duplicate to appear on the couch. 

“I’m Roman,” Roman says softly, “I’m Creativity.”

“I’m Roman. I’m—“

“Shh, shh, little snake,” he calls when Janus’s voice chokes off. “Shh. It’s okay. Don’t rush yourself. Take your time.”

“I’m—I’m—“

“Easy.”

“I’m—“ Janus-as-Roman shudders, hand trembling in the fist pressed against his chest— “I’m scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared. You can be scared, little snake. That’s okay.”

“I’m Roman, I’m scared.” Janus-as-Roman’s gaze flashes up to stare at him. “I’m Roman, I’m—I’m scared, Roman.”

“It’s okay, little snake, we’re right here. We’re all right here.”

Janus-as-Roman looks around, as if seeing all of them for the first time. “I’m—I’m scared, Roman.”

“I know, little snake. I know. You’re so close. Just copy me, okay?”

“O-okay.”

“I’m Roman, I’m Creativity.”

“I’m R-Roman, I’m—I’m Creativity.”

“Good, little snake,” Roman whispers, “now let me go.”

Janus-as-Roman closes his eyes tight, curling his fist even tighter, before taking a deep breath and shaking. 

When Janus opens his eyes again, Patton can see the way they all instinctively move toward him. One by one they steel themselves and wait.

Janus blinks. Once. Twice. 

“I’m…I’m Janus,” comes the halting voice that is his, and only his, “I’m—I’m Janus and I’m Deceit.”

The collective sigh of relief is palpable. Patton nods toward the others when Janus’s head turns to the window again. 

“…I’m cold.”

“One warm snek, coming right up!” Remus grins and holds out his arms. “Come cuddle, Snakey.”

“Do you not want a mattress first?” Logan asks wryly. 

“Nah, I’m gonna make Roro do it.”

“How magnanimous of you.”

“You’re better at it!”

“I don’t like that this is the only way I can get you to admit I’m better at something,” Roman sighs, but does as bid, a sprawling mattress appearing laden with blankets and pillows, “everybody in!”

Remus snatches up Janus and happily hogs most of the blankets under the excuse of cold-blooded snek, need warmth, under Virgil and Logan prod him enough to get him to relinquish a fair amount of the fabric. Roman just rolls his eyes fondly and helps Patton onto the corner, leaning against the chair to draw the curtains wider. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Patton murmurs as they all get comfortable, “you feeling better?”

“Yesssss,” Janus hisses, his eyes already falling closed, “thank you.”

“We’re here for you, Janus, always.”

“Mm.”

“Just not in you, here for you.”

“Kinky.”

“Remus, I swear to god—“

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@reddstardust@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous

If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

#dragonbabbles #sanders sides #fic #roman sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders

[moefongo]

The bachelors (romanced) reacting to the builder's death (Part 2)

The long awaited part 2 is here! I put it under a cut for spoiler alerts, and this one doesn't have any trigger warnings but like always if you need me to tag something let me know! Part 3 is Qi and Unsuur, i didn't add them here bc i was afraid of the world limit fucking everything up (its happened so much that i just aaa)

Also this has been in the works since before the news of Pen coming out as non being a marriage candidate (which has me devastated bc he's growing on me and i kinda wanted him to rebel against Duvos and having his own family as he deserves)

Oh yeah English isnt my main language so if anything sounds weird, then its just that lol

Tw for mentions of suicide and murder

Pablo

This was supposed to be a normal day for them both, the builder was going to go off to help the Civil Corps, while he worked the barber shop as usual. They had made plans to take the evening off, once the builder came back from their mission. Days prior, Pablo had interrogated them so he could know what they were going to do with the Civil Corps, mostly so he didn’t have to worry too much about them. Because he wasn’t prepared to handle the stress of dating a builder like them.

The morning passed rather uneventfully, and as there were no more clients scheduled for the morning, Pablo took a short break by walking out to his usual spot on the porch of his barber shop. But as he settled into his usual spot, Pablo sensed something was off, not that he was superstitious but he felt that something bad happened or was about to happen. His first thought was that the builder was in trouble and it worried him immensely; were he the impulsive type, he would have run after them. 

All he could do was hope for the best, and decided to head inside once again to find something to distract his mind for a while. He opted to clean up around the salon and rearrange the furniture several times. After an hour of cleaning and rearranging, Heidi entered the salon. He knew her better than anyone, and by the look in her face it was more than enough for him to know that something terrible had happened.

She didn’t beat around the bush with the news, but after hearing that they had died, Pablo felt like the world was crumbling around him. Heidi knows him just as well as he does her, and she simply stopped talking and hugged Pablo tightly. Up until that moment Pablo was fighting back his tears and when Heidi hugged him, he just broke down crying. 

Pablo was inconsolable; he felt a sense of despair that was eating away at him. As he cried he screamed and begged the Light, for the first time in his life to please bring back the builder to him. 

After two hours Heidi was still consoling Pablo, and at this point he looked like a mess, his eyeliner and mascara all messed up and his hair all disheveled. But as if a miracle had happened, the builder swung the door of his salon open in an almost dramatic fashion. When Pablo locked eyes with the builder, he ran over to them before even giving them a chance to enter properly. Pablo hugged them and cried even more, but this time he cried of relief. 

Once the builder and Pablo were busy talking, or more likely Pablo scolding them for being so reckless and for making him cry so much. Heidi felt relieved as well and as she left the salon. And now that they were alone Pablo closed his salon for the rest of the day and forced the builder to stay and rest with him, which means that they are going to have a spa day and then sleep the remainder of the day away without a care in the world. Besides, the builder has all the time in the world to explain everything to the rest of the town, but for now they have to make it up to their boyfriend. 

Pen (He is the spy)

In Duvos Pen had no name, he was only known as Tiger or The Tiger; his mother was Duvos and his father was the Emperor. And thanks to this, he was raised and educated to become a soldier and a spy. His mission began way back in Meidi, where he infiltrated the Church of the Light and soon after he was sent to Sandrock and thus the new “Protector of Sandrock” was born. 

He never meant to get too attached to anyone in this town, let alone the new builder. But eventually he fell in love with them. Pen knew it would be a terrible mistake, but he couldn’t fight his love for them, since it was the first time he’s loved and been genuinely loved by anyone. Besides, being with the builder came with the benefit of gaining useful information for his mission.

Pen usually was in the know of whatever the Civil Corps did, except for today. He did his usual round, taking a detour to check on the builder, since it was around the same time they returned from the Commerce Guild. Oddly, they weren’t there, perhaps they went ruin diving or were out gathering materials, and resumed his patrol without much worry. 

Pen also suspected that there was a secret agent amongst the citizens and whoever it was, was closing in on him and he had to be very careful in his actions. Especially since Logan also knew of his true nature. But that’s a story for another time, luckily he was able to shift the blame to Logan and have him ousted as an outlaw, as an attempt to cover his tracks for now.

As noon rolled around, there was still no sign of the builder, and it was odd since they usually have lunch together and then Pen gracefully flexes his perfect muscles to motivate the builder for the day. He waited a little longer for them to come by, but now he was worried. Many questions ran through his mind. What if someone from Duvos caught on that he was in a relationship with the builder and assassinated them as a form of precaution? This was his top fear since a fellow spy did the same thing in Portia and had to leave them and their new born baby, and as to not repeat the same mistake, he received a communication to not engage romantically with anyone in the town, and if he did the person ran the risk of  getting killed. 

Now Pen ran to the Civil Corps, only to find the office empty, except for some paperwork that was carelessly left in plain sight that detailed their plan to lure Logan’s goat to find his hideout. Trying to remain positive, Pen hoped they weren’t dead, just on a mission. Still though he needed to know they were okay so using the information on the papers he made his way to the spot where the bait was left, and followed the horse’s and goat tracks until he spotted Justice and Unsuur frantically screaming the builder’s name near a cliff. 

His heart was beating so hard he felt it ringing in his ears as he walked closer to them. Pen loudly yelled at them demanding to know what happened to them, and all Justice could do was apologize.

His whole world was falling apart, though he knew he had to end things with the builder sooner or later, he never wanted to lose them like this, without a goodbye. He screamed at them both for being so reckless. Then he demanded them to leave as he would handle the recovery of their body himself. With no other choice, Unsuur and Justice headed back to town and left Pen to find a way to rescue the builder. On the other hand, Pen waited for them to leave, and broke down crying. 

There was nothing he wanted more than to have the builder alive and next to him. Perhaps he could abandon this life and get them to run away with him and start a new life somewhere far away from Duvos. But that was only a dream far from his reach, especially now. 

After somewhat composing himself, Pen began to look around for a safe route to climb down the cliff, though his first idea was to jump and if he died, at least he could be reunited with the builder. Eventually he began walking further until he found a spot safe enough at first glance to begin his descent. In the distance, however, was a beaten and bruised builder, who had taken quite a whooping from Logan, and unfortunately forgot to pack supplies. They were limping back to town and on their way they spotted Pen who was trying to climb down. With all of their strength they screamed for Pen and he immediately turned to look and saw them. Pen felt like he could breathe again, and ran towards them, not wanting to waste any time in reuniting with them. 

Once he reached them he saw the state they were in and felt horrible for not being there to keep them safe. He then gently scooped the exhausted builder in his arms and carried them back to town. They had passed out, but were safe in their hands and it was all that mattered. In his mind, he promised that he would leave his old life behind and start a new one with them here in Sandrock. A life without Duvos or any missions, a life where he was simply Pen, The Protector of Sandrock. 

Pen (He is not the spy)

Pen was raised in the church as an orphan. He was placed in an orphanage in Meidi after his mother died in the hands of a Duvos soldier, since they lived close to the border and right in the middle of all the conflict. Ever since he wanted to help those in need and protect people from any dangers, especially Duvos. In Sandrock, he took on his role of defender. Life was simple for him and things got better when he became the builder’s boyfriend. This relationship pushed him to be an even better version of himself and work hard to keep his beloved builder safe from any danger.

The day before everything happened, Pen knew that the Civil Corps and the builder were scheming something. It upset him greatly that the builder, who told him everything, kept this quiet and despite Pen pressing Justice and Unsuur for answers, both men kept quiet or dodged the questions. The builder did the same, and it worried Pen greatly that they were going to something dangerous. 

The following day, Pen stayed close to the builder’s workshop so he could follow them and the Civil Corps so he could know what they were up to. Though stealth isn’t his forte, he somehow managed to follow them unnoticed. So far it seemed they wanted to lure Logan’s goat to take them to his hideout, he thought to himself that all of the secrecy was unnecessary, but still he was as uneasy as ever. After a few moments, the goat took the bait and ran off, the builder charging behind it. 

The next moments were a blur, the goat stopping in its track at the edge of the cliff, the builder screaming as they plunged to their demise as he ran as fast as possible in a futile attempt to grab them as both Justice and Unsuur stood there petrified with shock and horror. 

All Pen could do was watch horrified as his beloved builder disappeared into the darkness. Saying he was devastated was an understatement, Pen was absolutely broken. He was numb, he didn’t have the strength to scream to the men beside him. The best they could do for him now was to take him back to the church. 

Once there, even Miguel was worried for Pen, since he had never seen him like this before. Every church member tried their best to make him talk but it was futile, Pen wasn’t going to say a thing. Burgess then thought it was best to give him some space and time to rest, in hopes that he’d open up about his emotions. 

The hours passed and the sun was beginning to set, while Burgess sat on a chair next to Pen’s door just in case he needed some help. Around that time the builder was headed over to Pen’s door but they were stopped by a very worried Burgess who bombarded them with questions about their well being and if they had any injuries. On the other side, Pen was sitting on his bed, still silent until he heard the sweet voice of his beloved builder. 

Pen was so excited that he tore the door off its hinges and threw it on the hall before picking up the builder and hugging them tightly. Burgess didn’t mind the door since the circumstances were extraordinary, since now Pen was back to his usual self.

The following days however, Pen made sure to stick right next to the builder under the pretense that he was going to be their personal bodyguard from now on, but in reality he was absolutely terrified of losing them again.

#my time at sandrock #mtas pablo #mtas pen

[maxellminidisc]

Silly but the DūnM3sh nonsense around the last episode has me thinking about how like idk mostly white autistic folks (of the vairety who are not in need of higher assistance) online act like ALL autistic folks exhibit the exact same symptoms and behaviors in social settings when like I find mostly other poc and a lot of women regardless of race have very different experiences with the sort of "stereotypical" reaction and behavior that's most often associated with autism. Which leads to a lot of you assuming we are neurotypical and then this line of thinking extends into your reading of autistic characters, be they headcanons or canon characters. Rest of this is going under a read more

Like idk for a poc, theres already very little grace given to us in social situations, especially when around white people. You guys dont realize but we are consistently aware that no matter what, when we enter a space with y'all there will always be an internal bias present in white people that will deem any behavior of confrontation as inherently aggressive or mean.

So we learn to navigate social situations with an already high level of need to analyze so many of the behaviors and cues of the people around us out of complete necessity. Neurodivergency or not, this becomes a matter of survival. And for some people, like me, the need to do this and possibly avoid and save yourself the pain of having people who's racism is a potential harm to you becomes a priority in your brain more than anything else you have going on. You cant completely shut everything else out about your neurodivergency but you learn enough to keep yourself safe. It's what I was forced to learn when I was like 5-13 because I was relentlessly bullied for my race and ethnicity, and later for my incapacity to not understand certain social cues or even break rules until I was about 12/13.

I'm not completely without symptoms and if anything some of them have gotten worse. I struggle now with knowing when to stop talking until I notice people start looking bored or annoyed and I sometimes dont talk enough for fear of being annoying to people I'm close to. Not to mention I'm ALWAYS double checking what I say in a way that's almost like a compulsion. Like constantly, to the point where before I say something with say like factual information, I like quadruple plus plus check everything on Google before I say it (and even then I might get shit wrong and my reaction to that is....oh boy). And even then I sometimes end up not saying anything because I'm too scared I said something wrong and mislead or upset someone. Or worse, this information is unwarranted and annoying.

If anything I'm someone who's neurodivergency made them OVER COMPENSATE the need to pick up on social cues, eye contact, sociability, etc because it was a way to defend myself (by making it harder to pick on me without push back) or keep myself safe.

But at the end of the day the constant need to keep up with ALL of this burnt me out by the time I was in college and it made me incapable of masking very many noticeable things anymore, especially my over sensory and stimming when I'm stressed (which isnt helped by the fact that I have synesthesia), the anxiety it produces, and ultimately that it leads me to having a panic attack and has me in the place I am now where that shame of freaking out in loud spaces gave me agoraphobia. Now my threshold for "neurotypical behavior" is like SIGNIFICANTLY shorter when I leave my house.

And I constantly apologize for sharing information when I do. Like I have it instilled in me now to say sorry for information I share because I think I'm bothering people. And my capacity to understand jokes is flawed if the person I'm talking to isnt someone I'm consistently around because I haven't completely been able to process the way they speak or their sense of humor. I sometimes take jokes that are lies, unreality, or sarcasm as literal and people have to say "oh no I was joking I made that up".

When I first meet people I'm actually told I'm way too quiet and kind of intimidating because I guess people can sense that I'm analyzing them like a lil computer and I look them in the eyes TOO much. Funnily enough one of my close friends in high school didnt like me very much at firsy because she asked me if I liked her after very little time of being introduced and I straight up said no without much thought as to why that would offend her alskdkdmkfkd but after a while of getting to know her more, we got close, and like most people, after a while they say I seem pretty "normal" and "nice".

And this isnt even touching on my emotional responses and my horrible rejection sensitivity. That would make this even longer. But the one thing I'll say is it's made my relationship with my family VERY bumpy, and especially tumultuous when young, and it's something they struggle to understand still A LOT.

And outside of situations where I cant mask anymore from exhaustion, I get why it's sort if unsurprising to me when I've met white autistic folks who mistakenly assume I'm neurotypical because I can just navigate conversations with a sheen of "normalcy" (and lol racism), until we talk and they're like oh shit I get it now (usually white people with ADHD can pick up on my neurodivergency much faster which is funny lol) where as other people of color with adhd/autism dont ever make that assumption, they just get it. They pick up on ME analyzing them and we just look at each other like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

#anyway alls to say is #the way we navigate society creates a much different experience of neurodivergency than you might think #and even then it might not be that different beneath the surface #but thats the thing you need to look beyond the surface of your assumptions in the first place #and again this mostly only applies to the experiences of lower support needs folks #online is where im like MOST chatty in person it takes me months to be like open to people #ill be polite and what not but i say very little of myself and get people to tell me about them #or im constantly listening and watchinf #which again is why i am like almost dead serious when i jokingly call Kabru my kinny skdkfkfkkck #this is also why i joined a lot of speech and debate shit cause i wanted to perfect #this capacity to talk to people and use that capacity for analysis to construct criticism or confrontation too

[supernova1us]

My changes/edits to ROTB to make it a better film, without actually changing the film as it is.

so without changing the overall plot of the film as it is, these are the tweaks and changes i would have made to the film to, to me, make it a far better film. please comment if this makes it better in your eyes

-in the opening, more maximals would be seen fleeing from the terrorcons to the transwarp tower with the main group. the film would also hint more heavily at the maximlas being from the far future.

-there would be less of Noah's scenes in the early movie; just a few of them showing his family is struggling/sick brother and would quickly movie on to him reluctantly joining in Reek's heist to make the money, so we paint him as more of a regretful criminal than this luckless job hunter that isnt a team player.

-the optimus/transit fight would be included(minus narration) after meeting noah and elena; this would be both to show how tough optimus is so it is a bigger shock with how he gets beaten by scourge. also to intro the transformers earlier; the films keep thinking the TFs arent relevant until the plot needs the humans to encounter them when we already know its a TF film and the bots are the whole point of the story. also, optimus' arm cannon would be redesigned to be less bulky and ridiculous looking.

-the dump truck disguise would clearly be shown to just be a hologram

-a bit more play up of arcee and bumblebee as a close duo, including failing to tagteam battletrap, who is more audibly enjoying the fight and boisterous.

-mirage's redundant "what, they fly now?" line would be gone and replaced with something more sensible like "who the hell are these guys? they ain't cocky enough to be decepticons"

-optimus' "impossible" line would be removed. guy acted outraged that someone caught his axe strike.

-a few shots at the museum/alley of the autobots mourning bumblebee

-airazor and elana's deleted scene would be kept in, we would also see airazor transform just to emphasize her point, to which even optimus would cock and interested eyebrow.

-a few changes would be made to scourge; cosmetically, his left hand would always remain the big claw/cannon and not convert to a normal hand. he would be a bit more morose at times, showing that while he relishes what he does, he does still hold some resentment of his slavery.

-after being mentally tortured by unicron, scourge would be mocked by battletrap and they almost come to blows, but nightbird breaks it up. battletrap would then comment that they only follow him because he is unicrons favorite servant...for now.

-the plane ride would be a few minutes longer, and would include; mirage's bravado cracking to show he feels partially responsible for what happened to bee as it was his plan, optimus' explaining to the humans that an autobot hidden in south america will meet them as he sent other autobots around the earth to hide, stratosphere doing some pilot announcements and elena waving out the window to airazor as she flies past.

-wheeljack would have his concept design(the wide one on the far right of the linked pic). the whole accent exchange would end after wheeljacks line "accent, what accent?" with noah just shrugging it off after that. https://i.redd.it/jpal6uh9wr8b1.jpg

-both elena and wheeljack would be the ones to explain history/exposition stuff, often eagerly finishing each others sentences. wheeljack would also be the one to give noah the gauntlet.

-it would be explained there are so few humans around where they landed because of the festival and stratosphere says he will take off before he is seen. prime would also look back at bee's body and stratosphere says he will take good care of him.

-while noah and elena descend into the caves, we have a couple minutes between the autobots. wheeljack tries to talk about bumblebee but arcee gets angry and mirage and optimus chime in to break the tension.

-after scourge comments that the autobts are moving and must have found the key, he is content to wait for the right moment but it is the over eager battletrap who decides to move and force them to give chase.

-the cheetor and rhinox being in the cave scene would be kept in

-as they walk down the river, it would be clear wheeljack and arcee are talking as they walk rather than just blankly walking in the background as mirage and noah talk.

-after primal asks optimus to walk with him in the village, there would be a scene of cheetor giving one of the human kids a ride. mirage would then ask about them staying in beast mode and rhinox would explain the original maximals swore to live more peacefully in their beast modes unless in great need. cheetor would ask if anyone else wants a ride, to which elena, then noah, mirage, arcee and wheeljack all sheepishly raise their hands.

-as optimus and primal talk, primal has a flashback of witnessing human achievements over the centuries, both constructive and destructive, before saying they are worth defending(as was seen in some concept art).

-cheetor and rhinox more openly mourn airazors death with primal, as does elena.

-a line would be inserted to make clear the power of the transwarp key that it can simply will the transwarp gateway into being.

-rhinox would be the one to produce the hologram and explain the tunnels that the humans could use, clarified to be exhaust vents.

-we see scourge specifically use the keys power to summon the sweeps through the tower.

-optimus alone takes out battletrap, with him replacing primal in the mace grab moment and be a bit more drawn out.

-mirage's body envelops noah before reformatting into the suit around him rather than that trash we got of his body just sorta falling apart and metal just materializing slowly over noah like marvel nanotech.

-bumblebee's voice is restored and there is more of a happy/shocked reaction from the autobots at his return

-stratosphere provides cover fire and smack talk from the air as he strafes the volcano

-primal joins optimus in double teaming a more frantic scourge and is the one to deliver the killing blow to avenge his home. scourge would have also morbidly remarked during the fight that he'd once been brave "like them" but all still fall to unicron.

-change scourge's last line to a desperate "unicron MUST prevail" showing that being the slave is all he has left. his death would also simply be primal impaling him through the spark as his body sinks into the lava flow.

-unicron delivers a final threat through the portal just before it closes, along the lines of "you cant deny me forever" or "i will find you"

-a shot during optimus' speech would show the autobots and maximals burying airazor before the shot of primal on the cliffside.

-wheeljack would be seen going back to US with the others

-noah wouldnt get a closing narration, we would just see the scene of him reuniting with his family with music over it.

-mirage being revived wouldn't exist, nor would G I Joe; the closing scene would just be noah going to his interview, seeing elena on tv, and going in with renewed confidence before it cuts to black.

#transformers #transformers rise of the beasts #ROTB #hasbro #maximals #autobots

[peachyposy]

lawyer!bucky x defence attorney!reader blurb

a/n: yall lawyer bucky does things to me… sorry no sexy times yet but whatevs! also, i know ZILTCH about the legal system so SORRY IF THIS ISNT ACCURATE. p.s. tumblrs spacing SUCKS so i am so sorry about that!

pairing: lawyer!bucky x da!reader

warnings: objectification?, sexual themes, no sex but its referenced, enemies to lovers BABY (eventually hehe this is just a set up to see if you dig it)

all mistakes are my own, lemme know if there’s something i need to fix!

banner by: @maysdigitalarts (thank you love! the banner is so pretty!!)

gif not mine! i know its steve not bucky, but use your iMAGiNAtiON :DD

Bucky had this in the bag…

Sure, his client was annoying as fuck, and, in Bucky’s personal opinion, completely and utterly in the wrong in the court case, but Bucky had it in the bag. And when he slam dunked his way to victory, he was promised an even bigger bag in the client’s gratitude. This case was the easiest money he would ever make.

The morals behind the case were pushed to the side completely- suing was the adult way of ratting someone out to the teacher, and when that person you rat out is innocent, that’s even more pathetic. If Bucky was still a law student- still bright eyed and had some kind of faith in the world, he would have kicked the potential client to the curb and contacted the accused, ready to defend him in court. However, Bucky wasn’t a child anymore. Working for the law had a funny way of breaking down your morals, ironically. The just and true psychological crime-fighting he dreamed of doing in school had slowly been warped by a collection of bad jobs, small pays and unfair court rulings that slowly chipped away at any lust he had for the truth.

It was just a fact: Bucky didn’t care anymore. He just liked the power. And the money. And winning…

He especially liked winning…

The morning of the hearing, he was 100% confident he would walk out pockets swollen, so he treated himself to an early cigarette outside before the trial began at 8:30am sharp. He stood in the icy fresh air in his thick wool coat, and scarf which covered his clean suit and tie, back resting against the brick wall of the side of the building, one thousand dollar shiny Italian leather boot crossed over another, as he took a drag of the Camel. He let the sweet nicotine sit in his lungs for a bit before blowing out the smoke, checking his Rolex for the time.

8:20am. He had ten minutes to kill. Hearing the distinct yet clean click of a car door opening, he looked back up to find a woman stepping out of a small green Mini Electric car. She walked around the car to the opposite door and opened it, pulling out a brown leather briefcase along with a large yet manageable stack of manilla files. She set them on top of her car before reaching in again (Bucky will admit, his eyes did wander down a bit as she leaned in). She pulled out a keep cup before closing the car door, locking it, arranging the items in her hands so that they sat comfortably, before walking past him to the front of the building, soon out of his sight, but the door opening and clicking shut indicated her entrance. She was cute- her hair was up in a loose yet clean ponytail (which Bucky only knew the name of due to the fact that he too had styled his hair in a similar fashion many a times when he still had long hair), her brows furrowed in concentration. Her ass wasn’t half bad either- he could tell even under the baggy business pants, which fit around her hips with a belt well enough that she could get away with them being a size or two bigger than her while still looking professional. She was some sort of assistant, or maybe a witness, he was sure of it. Women dressed like that with faces like that were always there for just a taste of the legal system, never there permanently.

And Bucky…

He smirked at the plan building in his head as he snubbed out the cigarette and flicked it away. He uncrossed his legs and pushed off of the wall, stuck his hands in his pockets and walked back into the courthouse. He would wink at her, let her know his eyes are lingering, maybe even pretend he was interested in what she was saying if she was an especially hard catch- and with these few moves, he would secure himself the crescendo…

Yeah… He was gonna fuck her…

*

Bucky entered the courtroom as others murmured last minute ideas to one another. He scanned the room meticulously until he found who he was looking for- the girl, standing on the opposite side of the courthouse, talking to a man in a suit- tall, blond hair and around his age. This was probably her boss, and also the defence attorney. He stared at her, waiting for her to notice so he could begin the game, but his thoughts were interrupted.

“Where the hell have you been Bucky?! I thought you bailed on me!”

Bucky let out an exasperated sigh and peeled his eyes away from his future bang. His attempt to steer clear from his client until the actual trial began was for naught- Allen was a jittery man and needed consolation at every other moment. It was pathetic.

He glanced over to Allen before unpacking his briefcase- he couldn’t even give the man boy more than a second of his recognition. Thank fuck this was an easy case.

The judge walked in and everyone rose. Bucky kept his hands together in front of him. The judge sat before the bailiff asked all to be seated. Bucky cracked the joint in his neck, fixed his suit and sat.

Here we go…

**

What the fuck…

What the actual fuck just happened in there.

The fact that she was the DA was surprising enough- but then the way she completely wiped the floor and won over the jury. Fuck, she even walked all the way across to offer a handshake to him in good sportsmanship.

“Y/n L/n” she introduced.

Bucky didn’t say anything- didn’t even take her hand. He was pissed. He was livid.

She didn’t let the unconventional lack of response bother her- she simply retracted her hand and, with an air of smugness in her tone, gave a “Well, nice to beat- sorry, meet you today.” She 100% meant for that fumble. She smiled, turned and walked off to the blondie, who Bucky found was her assistant, not the other way around, her heels clicking as she did.

Fucking hell.

Bucky had never been more pissed off in his life…

And so turned on…

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes enemies to lovers #bucky barnes fanfiction #lawyer!bucky x da!reader #lawyer!bucky x reader #enemies to lovers #lawyer!bucky enemies to lovers #lawyer!bucky

[yeeterin]

For years Seungmin's worth was the score on the top of his test paper.

Meaning all Seungmin did was come home with medals and trophies, hoping to make them proud.

He always looked up to his older sister, wanting to have the same grades like her. To just be good enough for everyone around him.

The first time he failed a test he was devestaded.

All he wanted to do was hide in shame and fear, fear of what they'll think of him from now on, fear of what punishment awaits him at home.

Once he comes home he shows his report card, with tears in his eyes they yell. They scream, and scream, and scream at him.

His phone gets taken away, his sole coping mechanism, taken away because he got one point under passing.

Everything else, one hundreds, ninety-nines, but that 𝘰𝘯𝘦 seventy-nine is what costs him his title as perfect son.

He was ten at the time.

So for years he studied. Studied every single day for hours on end, many sleepless nights spent at his desk trying to remember how to solve for. Trying to remember 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘭 from his english lecture that day in case it pops up in the quiz.

He never made many friends at school.

They never wanted to he friends with "top of the school, teachers pet, Kim Seungmin."

Even if they did want to become friends with him he wouldn't let them, he spent all breaks and lunches in the library, buried in a pile of books.

All he wanted to be was enough for his parents.

𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘴𝘬?

If he wasn't skipping sleep over finishing chapter thirty he was sobbing. Crying himself to sleep over how a disappointment he is.

"Ninety-seven? Your sister got one hundred, you're lucky your phone isnt being taken away today."

"Ninety? You almost failed, __'s kid got one hundred in all his subjects, got elected clas president, and does piano, volleyball, and violin on top of that, why can't you be more like him?"

All these expectations are like a ladder with infinite steps.

They're all up so high you'll never be able to reach it.

Every single day it gets more and more difficult to climb the ladder.

It feels like there's a ball and chain tied to Seungmin's ankle and every step he takes it gets heavier, and heavier.

The only time he stood up for himself was when he was sixteen and auditioned for JYP ENTERTAINMENT.

His mother was the most mad.

"IS THIS WHY YOU WANTED TO TAKE VOCAL LESSONS ALL THOSE YEARS AGO? HA? I PAY FOR YOUR TUITION TO BECOME AN ACCOUNTANT, WHY WOULD YOU THROW IT ALL AWAY?" His mother screams, her yells echoing around the house.

"I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR ONCE, I SPENT ALL OF MY LIFE TRYING TO PLEASE YOU, I WANT TO DO SOMETHING 𝘐 WANT FOR ONCE." Seungmin screams, his voice full of anger.

"FINE THEN, LEAVE, HOW ARE YOU EXPECTING TO GO TO SEOUL AND SURVIVE WITHOUT US?"

"I bought train tickets when they accepted me ages ago, the train comes tonight at ten, I need to go now." Seungmin says, voice monotone with tears in his eyes as he walks to his room and gets all his belongings.

He looks at his room one last time, everything gone and placed into boxes he mailed to Seoul last week.

He looks to his desk where he spent sleepless nights studying for a drop of validation from his parents.

That day, on February 13, 2016, Seungmin cut off his parents and ran away to Seoul.

That day he finally climbed down from the ladder of expectations and broke the ball and chain.

That day he arrived in Seoul from his home in Busan and never turned back.

He wonders if he should be happy or sad walking into the JYP building for the first time.

A few weeks later he gets a text from his sister, saying that she cut off both of their parents and that she's pursuing her dream of modeling.

Seungmin and his sister has always been close, bonding over their dreams in the entertainment industry and stresses of school.

He texts his sister goodluck and a safe drive from Busan to Seoul.

That day, on March 13, 2016, the Kim siblings cut off their parents and decide to both pursue and do what they want for once.

Oh what awaits Seungmin in the future.

#top of my school #kpop fanfic #stray kids fanfic #stray kids angst #stray kids #angst #Spotify

[toontowncreepypasta]

Miles Upshur headcanons because ive been real autistic since outlast went on sale on the switch

heres just a huge dump of all my miles headcanons and interpretations im sorry it’s so fucking much ive been obsessed with this fag since i was like 13

 I think Miles grew up pretty poor, his father in the military and his mother was a stay at home mom who struggled with drug addiction. he had four other sisters with him being the oldest. He ended up raising most of them, the third sister being nonverbal autistic. He was responsible at home but not really anywhere else. He also didn’t get along with his mom very well. He left the house the moment he turned 18 and didn’t look back. He’s transmasc and gay, i can’t see him being into women im sorry. hes like the only horror protagonist i can think og that isnt like oh my gof.ds...... oh my god boobs....

I think a lot of Miles very strong core values come from how he was raised and that mostly pushed him into journalism and needing to shine a light on things. i also think he was in a band when he was in highschool, and still plays guitar pretty frequently (or well, heh, did when he had his fingers.) i also think he sold his adderal and any other meds he was put on all through out highschool and college and got in trouble for it a couple times. He was one of those shitty highschool kids who were like way too smart for their own good so they spent all of their time trying to break every rule they could.

Miles and Lynn Langermann became extremely close in college, and Miles and Blake also dated in college for like two months before that imploded on itself and they never spoke to eachother again.

He’s an aries, he has ADHD and c-PTSD (and you know, now regular PTSD) and is a HORRIBLE chain smoker like it’s really fucking bad. he’s jewish. He is EXTREMELY drawn to anything dangerous or mysterious like it’s a problem he has almost no survival instincts. He is an animal to his own emotions and desires and it’s a problem, if he gets scared of something he chases after it, he doesn’t back down, he’s insanely stubborn, he’s quick to anger. But I will say he is pretty good about assessing situations, he’s lived off blind luck his entire life because he is GOOD at what he does. he always acts like he knows what he’s doing and shit usually ends up in his favor so it’s hard not to believe him.  He is unaware of how mentally unwell he is, mostly because he has a habit of repressing pretty much anything traumatic that happens to him. Puts it in a little vault and keeps trudging on.

He’s anti authority and has a hard time taking orders or directions, even just from people he loves/respects. He resents any kind of restraint put on him. Miles biggest fear is death, him dying, specifically. He is scared to die before he’s ready. His second biggest fear is being forgotten/ignored. He’s somewhat of an attention whore, negative, positive, he likes to act out or preform or be wild and “out there” and have everyones eyes on him. he wants to be THE guy. no matter what hes doing he’s doing it with a hypothetical audience. That’s specifically something he struggles to drop at any time, its hard for him to be intimate with people or slow down because of it. he isn’t a narcissist though, it isn’t to an extreme extent. it’s just enough to be noticable in times of crisis. Despite all of these, Miles biggest and most dominante traits are his empathy, passion and his fixation on justice. he’s a good person all around, even if he’s a bit of trouble. he rarely if ever has ill intents to anyone who isn’t a dangerous person, and even then, he can find himself sympathizing and understanding almost anyone if given enough time.

he’s pretty fashionable but... doesn’t utilize it what so ever. he dresses like a very stereotypical binary trans masc, with a bit of occasional gothic/southern flair. he’s no stranger to eyeliner. before his transition he was very similar but in a “feminized” way, think those white southern punk girls with the chunky blonde/black streaks and bedazzled black ripped tanktops and flannels. He just went from one end of the spectrum to the other.

#miles upshur #this is so much and its so rambly excuse me

[sapphireblondie]

Chapter 8

Bakugou sat on the ground holding the side of his face.  Tokoyami's rage settled long enough for him to spit out a sentence "What happened at the hospital Bakugou?" Bakugou sighed "When everyone was leaving to give Kirishima and y/n their space, I realized my bike keys weren't in my pocket. So I went back upstairs to check the room and I walked into Kirishima kissing her. I stepped out before they seen me and I heard her tell him she loved him and she couldn't imagine life without him.. And I heard her kiss him again...I walked away and sat and the end of the waiting area and I remembered what you said in the elevator.. "if she values a friendship more than the chance at a relationship working then I'm in the same spot you are. We all love her but she doesn’t want to risk losing us if the relationship doesn’t work out" So maybe I should appreciate our friendship and cherish it rather than testing the waters and possibly losing her" Tokoyami sighed "Not everyone has to be afraid of losing her though.. You can't stand in the dark because you're afraid the sun will burn you, Sometimes you gotta stand in the sun to be able to see the beauty of the sky. You'd be surprised how many adventures are up there." Tokoyami reached his hand out "Come on, y/n went missing from the hospital about an hour or more ago. No one's able to reach her, maybe you can help."  

  Meanwhile Kirishima and Mina just reached Bakugou's place. Mina ran up to the door and knocked on it. "BAKUGOU!" Kirishima come up behind her. "Come on man it's important!" Kirishima hardened his fist and hit the door, it echoed through the neighborhood "Bakugou answer your door!" Mina looked around and slid acid on his door handle causing it to melt. "Oh look it's open" Mina walked in with Kirishima "Bakugou!" Kirishima and Mina checked the entire house. "So he's gonna kill me for melting his doorhandle isnt he..." Kirishima chuckled "We'll deal with it later. Im gonna call-" *BZZZZZZZ* *BZZZZZ* Mina grabbed her phone "Hey Tokoyami Bakugou isn't at his house. Wait, he's with you. That would of been nice to know five minutes ago before I melted his doorknob to break into his house..." Tokoyami sighed in disapproval "You what?" Mina giggled "Hey don’t blame me, it's 4am who isnt home at 4am." Tokoyami growled "People with broken hearts!! Now where else would she go? Meet us back at the house in 20" then Tokoyami hung up. "Are you coming Bakugou?" "Yeah, I drove my bike here, I'll follow behind you." The guys start walking back to the parking lot.  

  "I'm so tired... and cold... once I get to the fire though I'll get apollo to warm me up." You stagger to the lantern sitting outside the house and grab it. "Apollo". A small phoenix appeared. "We'll get you more fire but I need you to stay close, I'm getting cold... Apollo flew down next to you and kept pace. You walked around the side of the house and to the back. "Wow, I had a feeling he had a nice house with how calm he always is." "What are you doing here?" You turn around and see flames "Apollo!" Apollo flew to the flame engulfing himself in the fire. "Wait, Y/N? What are you doing here! You're supposed to be in the hospital." You stood up blood was covering the front of your gown. "I messed up, and he's gone...Bakug..he.... Everything went black...  

  Everyone was finally getting back to the house. "So anyone have any ideas on where she'd go" Mina questioned. "Somewhere she's comfortable?... I'd assume." Kirishima suggested. "Yeah and probably somewhere she can use her quirk, so near water?..." Tokoyami looked at bakugou in curosity... Bakugou's eyes widened and he walked towards his bike. The three of them followed "DUDE! I thought you were gonna help." "I am .. I know where she is." Bakugou stated picking up his helmet and sliding it over his blond silky hair. "Where man?" Kirishima demanded. "1. She has more than 1 quirk, she has 3 in 1. She has apollo, Mafdet and Mizuchi. Fire, Earth and Water. Where can she find all of them in one location that she knows she can go to at this hour.." "Mina looked at kirishima confused. Kirishima's face lite up. "Todoroki! He produces fire and he has a pond in his back yard with sand!" Mina ran to the car and Kirishima followed behind her. "Tokoyami, you wanna ride with us." Mina shouted as she got in the car. "I'm good, I'm gonna get Tsu and we'll be right behind you." Tokoyami ran inside "Tsu toss pants on we think we know where she is." Bakugou threw his leg over his bike and sat down then looked back at Kirishima who was getting in his car. Bakugou started up his bike, peeled out and disappeared out of sight. Kirishima looked into his review mirror to see Bakugou but all he could see was the dissipating smoke from Bakugou's tires burning against the wet pavement. Kirishima and Mina waited for Tsu and Tokoyami since they didn't know Todoroki's address. Tsu came running out of the house and jumped into Tokoyami's car while Tokoyami locked the doors. Bakugou raced through town blowing every stoplight and ignoring all speed limits. He reached Todoroki's house in record time barely coming to a full stop before shutting off his bike and running to the door "Icy hot, are-" the door opens "Bakugou, help me get her into the car, she collapsed and she's covered in blood, her incision has reopened." Bakugou rushed inside and picked you up gently and carried you to the car "Icy Hot, come open the door. You drive, I'm gonna sit in the back with her to keep her steady." Everyone else began to pull in the driveway. Tokoyami seen the blood and jumped out of his car without shutting it off. "What the hell happened." Todoroki opened the car door "She showed up on my back porch like this. I didn��t even know it was her until she turned around and Apollo came after me. She passed out. Bright side, he still here which means she's still alive." Everyone turned and looked at Apollo who was resting on the side of the driveway by the car, Bakugou smiled "Apollo follow." Apollo stretched his wings out and waiting for the cars to start pulling out the flew towards the cars. "Alright icy hot, make this quick."  

The 15 minute drive to the hospital was the longest 15 minutes of Bakugou's life. He rushed into the Emergency room. He didn't even have to say anything, the amount of blood on his clothes told them it was urgent. Nurses came running to him "We can take it from here." Bakugou hesitated. Tokoyami stepped forward placing a hand on Bakugou's shoulder "Bakugou.. You have to let them take her.. We'll be waiting for her as soon as she gets out." Bakugou nodded and put you down on the stretcher. They rushed you away before bakugou could even process what was going on. "Excuse me, I just need information about her." Tokoyami looked at bakugou.. "I might need your help, you know more than I do lately." The nurse looked at you both "I just need to know allergies, family medical history and if she has a quirk or not, and if so, what it is." Tokoyami and Bakugou sat down together then Bakugou looked up at the nurse "Why does it matter what her quirk is?" The nurse smiled "We get that question a lot, it's because sometimes when people are severely injured and/or in immense pain their quirks can activate involuntarily as a defense and we need to know what we might be up against. We normally watch for explosive or fire related quirks because of the abundance amount of explosive and flammable items we have. We also watch for gas or poison related quirks, we normally keep them in a separate secluded room so they don't accidentally hurt someone, then there's-" Bakugou put his hand up "I get it, she has fire, water, and earth creatures. The fire creature is already here, he'll probably follow her but he'll stay outside, your best bet is to put her in a room with a ledge outside, one big enough a large bird can comfortably sit on. If he's there you know she's still alive." They finished filling out the paper work and handed it to the receptionist. 2 hours went by, Tsu and Mina headed to school asking to be kept posted and Kirishima went to tell the college dean why they were going to be missing today. Deku showed up with Bakugou's homework that'd he'd need to complete and paperwork to fill out for the next couple day to be excused. Bakugou spent most of his time outside watching apollo. Apollo remained on the ground while he waited for you to be moved to recovery and were out of surgery. "Apollo.. I'm really worried about her, she wasn't always this reckless. Is it because of me? Would she be better off if I walked away and left everything to Icy-hot, bird boy and Shitty hair?" "No, You'll only make it worse." Deku and Shoto walked up looking at Bakugou. "What are you doing here Deku? And how do you know that for sure? How do you know she wouldn't be better off without me in the mix?" Todoroki sighed "Because she loves you. Apollo isn't sitting here because of her Bakugou." Bakugou looked at Apollo in confusion "Yeah he's-" Deku grew frustrated "KACCHAN! He's here because of you. He would be in the air by her location or on the roof if he was watching her. But he's watching you because that's what she'd want. And I'm here cause I brought paperwork for you to fill out so you are excused from your classes because I know you won't be leaving this hospital any time soon." Todoroki nodded "You told him to follow us, our quirks aren't meant to work with other people. But yet apollo listened to you.. That to me says way more than words ever could." Bakugou looked down at apollo, Apollo's flames began to flicker.. And he stumbled for a moment. "Apollo?... what's wrong...Y/N!! She's not doing well." Deku stopped Bakugou "Or she's regaining consciousness and control of her quirk. He's been here because she summoned him and he's been running off her quirk involuntarily and as long as she has energy and he has flame he can stay here until her body can't support her quirk anymore. If she's conscious now and can feel she's getting exhausted by her quirk, she can release him." Bakugou lit up with excitement "I HAVE AN IDEA!!! Apollo find her, I'll follow." Apollo took off and Bakugou let off small explosions following him "Kacchan this isn't-" Deku sighed "He can be so stubborn sometimes." Todoroki turned around to walk back into the building "I was gonna say stupid." Deku chuckled "I was being nice, I gotta give this paperwork to someone who's staying here and I gotta get back to class. Will you and Kirishima be joining?" Todoroki nodded "Yeah I'll be leaving in a few minutes to hopefully make first period to avoid the wrath of Dr. Chiyo." They both chuckled. As they walked in the doors everyone stopped talking and looked over. "Deku?" Tokoyami questioned "Hey so anyone that wants to make first period should probably leave in the next 20 minutes." Deku said smiling, trying to break the tension. Todoroki nodded "I understand everyone's gonna wanna stay but we're not all gonna be able to see her right away due to her condition. So I will be leaving soon as well, Tokoyami, I don't expect you to leave.. and I fully expect Kirishima to come back as well even if I try to convince him to come after classes. Bakugou.. well he's already a couple stupid steps ahead of everyone. Tsu, Mina, Deku and I should probably stay in class so we can help the rest of you catch up when you get back." Tokoyami nodded "Well Mina and Tsu have already left and Kirishima did state he'll be back, if you could talk him into staying in classes until she's coherent enough to talk to everyone, that would save him a ton of wasted stress."  

A nurse came out "Excuse me, can I talk to the person that will be taking care of Miss Y/LN." The guys look at each other... "Do you want one person or...Cause there will be a couple of us " Tokoyami explained. "Um, I can explain it to a couple of you." Tokoyami looked around for Bakugou.. "Uh, where's Bakugou?" Deku's face turned red "Uh he's outside, he'll be back in a few. You just go with her and fill Kacchan in later." Tokoyami looked confused but nodded "I guess it'll just be me. As Tokoyami walked back with the Doctor, he remained silent. "Ok well with her being a flight risk, I'd keep her on a 24hr watch. She has an abnormally high pain tolerance and will push through pain if she wants too. We are going to stitch her up and keep her here for a day or two. You can stay with her and others can come during visiting hours. She should be stitched up by now so I can take you to her, she might be a little out of it cause I'm sure they gave her pain med. They did give her a blood transfusion while they stitched her up so she will be ok." She walked Tokoyami down the hall and opened a door "She's in here." Tokoyami walked into the room and stopped as soon as he was able to see. Both him and the nurse froze and "How did you get in here." The nurse said in a panic. Tokoyami chuckled and pointed to apollo sitting on the windows balcony railing. "He had a little help from a friend, the fiery orange and red phoenix out there is her quirk. This is Bakugou, he'll be taking care of her when I'm not." The nurse looked at Bakugou who was at your bedside holding your hand. "Well I'm not sure how you got in the window but-" "Anyone who knows windows and locks knows that a small pressurized explosion directed toward the right location will pop the pins of any lock." The nurse looked terrified yet Tokoyami looked proud of Bakugou. "Well if she's sleeping, I'll give you these, Deku gave them to me for you to fill out." Tokoyami handed Bakugo the papers then walked over to the other side of the bed and kissed you on the forehead. "I'll be right here when you wake up." Tokoyami walked over and sat in the chair. An hour went by and the guys sat in silence waiting for you to show any signs of waking up. Tokoyami looked at bakugou and noticed he was still covered in his bloody shirt. "Hey Im going to run to your house and bring you a new shirt." Bakugou looked confused "But what if she-" "Bakugou, you got this. You both need each other right now." A nurse walked in "Hi, I'm just here to check vitals and check her bandage" Bakugou nodded and moved back a little. "Her blood pressure is low..." Bakugou looks up "What's that mean?" Tokoyami looked outside "Bakugou, did you send apollo somewehre?" Bakugou turned around "No.. WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF HER BLOOD PRESSURE IS FALLING!" The nurse turned around "I'm not sure, there are many causes. Stress levels could cause it to rise and lower. What was that bird, was he your quirk?" Takoyami stood up "No he's hers, he was here to let us know she was ok. And if he's gone I fear it wasn't because she made it." The nurse walked to the door and called for another doctor. "I'm gonna have to ask you two to step out while we figure out what's going on." Tokoyami nodded while Bakugou fought "She wasn't on a suicide mission.. She was looking for a friend to talk to because she was lost, this shouldn't of happened." Tears ran down Bakugou's face. "I understand but right now we just need you to step out so we can figure out-" You open your eyes and see Bakugou, "Bakug.... " Bakugou looks down "Teddy bear.." Tokoyami smiled "Always gotta make a scene when you enter the room huh baby bird." You smiled and laughed "I try.. Bakugou why are you covered in blood." You attempt to sit up. "No don't strain your core muscles." The nurse said as she attempted to stop you. "Well then sit me up, I don't want to lay down, I need to get back to school, Where's Kirishima..?" "Im here pebble." Kirishima walks in the door. I just got back, Todoroki tried getting me to stay but I didn't think she'd stay asleep long, she was never much of a benchwarmer." You smiled and coughed "Can someone get me something to drink." The nurse smiled "Well since you're awake, I'll let you catch up with your friends, but I'll be back in a little bit to check your blood pressure again. It's not healthy for it to fall like it did. I'll be back in about an hour." Tokoyami looked at kirishima "Hey, you up for a ride to go get her something to drink and get hot head over there some different clothes where he's not covered in her blood." Kirishima looked at you and smiled "You gonna be ok if we leave you two here alone." You chuckled and winced at the pain in your side "Yeah I think I can handle him." Kirishima walked over and grabbed your hand "Don't ever do something that reckless again" Then he kissed the top of your hand and followed Tokoyami out.  

  "Babe can you lay with me.." You asked softly. "Of course my teddy bear." You scooch over making room for Bakugou. You look up at Bakugou and he smiled "I love you so much." He touched your cheek and you leaned towards him and kissed him, you slid your hand under his shirt and he pulled you closer, "Can you take this off, I don’t like seeing you covered in blood." Bakugou smirked "Are you sure that's the only reason" "Maybe.." You replied nervously. Bakugou sat up stripping his shirt off. "Can you help me undo mine? I wanna be against your skin.. I wanna feel your warmth." Bakugou blushed "Babe you should really stay in yours til you heal up." You sighed but it's in a bandage, please.." Bakugou smiled "You're so hard to say no too.." Bakugou helped you lean forward and untied your gown, you pulled it down leaving you just in your underwear. You laid back down and Bakugou covered you both with your blanket. then you cuddled up to his chest and began to doze off.. "Bakugou... Bakugou... " You could hear talking, you open your eyes. "Tokoyami?" Kirishima and Tokoyami stood at the corner of the bed. Bakugou reached over you "Make sure you stay covered up, remember you aren't wearing much.." You reach down grabbing the blanket holding it against your boobs. "Tokoyami..." Tokoyami looked over to you "Yes my baby bird?" "Are you mad at me...?" You asked as you start to doze off again. Tokoyami walked over pulling the blanket up a little farther and then kissed your forehead... "No I'm just glad you're alive." "I brought you more clothes Bakugou, granted I see I could of left without the shirts." Bakugou chuckled "No I appreciate it, it's been awkward having the doctor's come in to check her and I'm standing here shirtless cause she's tossed my shirt on her side of the bed." "Well, have they told you when they're gonna release her?" Tokoyami asked excitedly. "They said as long as she can get up and move around on her own without her blood pressure dropping tonight, she could leave tonight. If not then she'll be out tomorrow ." Tokoyami nodded "Ok keep us posted, I gotta get back for class" Tokoyami and Kirishima waved bye and Bakugou came back and laid down with you. You both dozed off.  

#bakugou x you #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #Katsuki Bakugō #mha bakugou #bakugou fluff #mha fluff #mha tokoyami #tokoyami fumigake #Kirishima Eijirou #mha kirishima #mha age up #Age Up #mha mina #mha tsuyu #mha deku #mha todoroki #mha quirks #quirks

[tearstoshed4ever]

They held each other close, crying and comforting each other as best they could. Emily was quite confused and concerned when she returned

her own tears and sorrow forgetten for a moment

um did i miss something

she sniffled

wiping her eyes

sitting down on the bed

"oh nothing. Just us crying because you broke out hearts. Don't worry about it." Maggot sobbed.

what how the hell did i that

emily gasped

suddly her own problems seemed silly

Jul 6, 2021 9:40 PM

how the hell did i break your hearts

"You don't want us that's how! We're not good enough to be your family! You prefer the living one upstairs!" Maggot snapped. "Maggot! There's no need to be so harsh with her. Emily's made her choices. We have to stand by her, even... even if it hurts!" Widow wailed, breaking into a fit of sobs.

suddenly everything clicked into place

omg this is because of what i said before i left isnt it

emily gasped feeling her own heart break with remorese

Jul 6, 2021 11:46 PM

fresh tears pooled n her eyes

Jul 7, 2021 1:28 AM

God I fucking hate myself right now

She wailed tears flooding down her cheeks

I was so focused on my pain

And how fuckedup my sic is

That I fuckedup even more and hurt the ones who mean the most to me

She picked them up and settled them in the crooks of her neck and hugged them hard

Of course I want you

As my family

I always have

U were there for me through everything

I can’t think of A better family

I did not mean to make u feel like u weren’t good enough

Or that I love my living family more

Cause it’s not true

I love you both as much as I love them

I’ve been lonesome and depressed but that’s no excuse for what I did

Taking it out on u

I’ve been a spoiled selfish ungrateful bitch

And I’m so sorry

Can you ever forgive me

She wept rocking them gently as her tears splashed down on there heads

Jul 7, 2021 6:10 AM

she was surpsed at how little she sounded like herself

these weremore like the things lydia wouldve said

but she didnt regret them for she knew they were true

Jul 7, 2021 6:30 PM

"Of course we can, Emmy. We love you."widow sniffled, managing a smile through her tears. "Just don't be so god-damned selfish next time." Maggot said, squeezing her arm.

emily smiled back and dryed there tears with her hair

ill try not to be

i love u both to

now im guessing u want to know what u missed

"G-good. We love you too," maggot said, trying not to cry anymore but he was so happy Emily wanted to be their family.

maggot if u want to cry some more go ahead

emily said gently

seeing the tears in his eyes

"Okay!" He said, bursting into tears. His eyes were like geyes, shooting water out. Emily was surprised that his little body contained so much

*geysers

and i thought i cried alot

she thought

rocking him

well at least its naruel for him to be able to cry unlike me

for me its weird

no i cant think about that anymore

or at least not anymore today

she hugged him tighter her hair getting thohly soaked in his tears

"O-Okay. Okay. Gotta stop crying. I look like a total wuss. This is what you've done to me, Emmy. I'm a big crybaby now..." Maggot said, heaving big heavy breaths as he tried to calm himself

emily chuckled

darling your nether of those things

your just kindhearted and setvie

which is the kind of man i want to marry

if any ones the crybaby its me

but yea u do need to stop before u make yourself sick

your eyes are all red swollon and bloodshot

she dryed his tears with her hair

Jul 7, 2021 9:49 PM

were those happy tears

she asked even though she already knew

on one hand she hated to see anyone cry partuctly her loved ones

Jul 8, 2021 1:33 AM

but on the other hand maggot was such a tough nut to crack

that it was nice to see him show emoiton other then smartass

"You know they were! I'm happy you're my new daughter, okay!" Maggot admitted begrudgingly

daughter

emily sqealed feeling tears of joy prick her own eyes

Jul 8, 2021 5:31 PM

"oh no, now you're going to cry!" Maggot panicked

she giggled these are happy tears to

i had no idea thats what u wanted

she snilled

sniffled

that u thought of me as a daughter

im touched

"We do, dearie. What did you think we meant when we wanted to become your guardians? You're family to us," widow smiled

at that emily burst into tears

Jul 8, 2021 7:24 PM

"geez, we must be a family of crybabies. We cry no matter what!" Maggot said, already tearing up with happiness himself. In truth, they all were. Maggot and widow just gave in to the feeling, hugging against Emily as they cried too.

my hugged them as hard as she could

emily

id be houred to be your dather

she wept

we're so glad! So glad!" Widow wept, blowing her nose into a tiny silk hanky

emily giggled thorough her tears

this is the best brithday gift i could ever get

well aside being brought back to life

"You've got something better, Emmy. We promise." Maggot said

Emily beamed as her tears finally ran out

i i belie u

bevile

but speaking of that im sure u want know what missed

u

Jul 8, 2021 9:27 PM

right

Jul 8, 2021 11:40 PM

"Right!" Maggot and widow nodded eagerly

fashback

emily climbed up the rickey winding stairecase again

edler gounkict are u there she called

as she reached the top hello is anyone home hello

but again got no answer

as she walked into the dark shadowy room

she spotted the crows again

"ah! There you are, my lovelies. Could either one of you tell me where I can find elder goodnicht?" Emily asked sweetly.

she tenderly stroked there glossy feathered heads

smileing

The crows cawed and cooed, happy to see Emily visiting again.

i know i havent visted since last year and im sorry for that

but iv had to much on my mind

its been a hard year for me

The first one is always the hardest. But you'll adjust, my dear. We all do, already the ones who don't move on." Elder said

emily gasped and jumped a bit

u always seem to sneak up on me

"do I? I would have thought you'd hear these rattling old bones coming." Elder chuckled, shaking his bones for emphasis

emily giggled as well

yeah your right

he noticed her dessheved apprince

what ails u child

emilys smile faded and her lip began to quaver again

everything

ailes me

im lonely deprssed and and in pain all the time

i miss my family

its my baday

but im never gonna age

and on top of evrything esle im fucking rotting

dont get me wrong i love everyone down here

espeally maggot and widow

but im fucking sick of being dead

and being in pain

the best bday present i could get is to reverse the biggest fuckup i eer made

to live again

please can u give me that

ill do anything

If elder had a heart, it would have fallen to the floor. "My dear... I'm...I'm sorry. What you ask is impossible. My powers have their uses down here, but...I can't bring the dead to life again." Elder said gently.

emilys heart shatterd into a millon pices

with a pircing wail that scared all the crows from there perches she fell to her kness and began to sob hysrtly

her face buried in her hands

glassy tears rushed down her cheeks and spotted her skirt

"Why! Why won't you help me! What have I done to deserve this! This is hell isn't it!" She shrieked.

her broken sobs turned to high piced wails

and she swiped at her tears with hands

this is the worst fucking bday ever

she wailed beween sobs

as waterfalls gushed down her cheeks

straming her mascura even more

her eyes rolling up in her head

just then her right eye popped out and she colapped on the floor bawling at the top of her bethless lungs

and chicking on her own tears

her eye rolled across the the floor and she begain to heave

her little shoulders trumbling

Emily! Dear Emily, please console yourself! I'm not punishing you! This is just how things are...I'm so very sorry. While I can allow occasional hauntings up top, I simply don't have the power you seek. That can only come from up above." Elder said, pointing towards the heavens .

then with a final whimper the heaveing stooped

and to tried to cry anymore she sat up and wiped under the empty shocket with her finger

and blinked her other eye

i understand

im just broken and disappointed

she sniffled

she felt the empty socket

and i lost my eye again

can this day get any fucking worse

she whimperd

chocking back more sobs

Jul 9, 2021 7:16 PM

hi

Jul 10, 2021 7:38 PM

a little tear beaded on her lash glishining in the candle light

drained as she felt she was ready to break down crying again

Jul 11, 2021 2:56 AM

hi

Jul 11, 2021 4:05 PM

(hi, sorry about this weekend. ) "My heart goes out to you my dear. It truly does." Elder said, laying a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. "If there was anything I could do, I would. But don't forget, there's still hope for you. You still have your vow."

Jul 12, 2021 2:40 PM

Emily sniffled and layed her hand over his

I know but I’m rotting

Isn’t there some way u can make it stop

"Hmm...I can't stop it persay. But I can slow it down with a potion." Elder said thoughtfully

emilys remaining eye filled with tears of joy and she throw her arms around his neck in a big hug

thank u so much

Jul 12, 2021 5:10 PM

how long will it last

"One application every six months. You must be very strategic with it. A little goes a long way." Elder advised as he gave her a small silver vial.

letting go she uncroked the viel and took and mesured sip

thanks ill have my gurdeins remind me

and im guessing theres no way to restore the rotted flesh

she asked getining up and picking up her eye

she posihed it on her skrit and popped it back in

"no, my dear. What's dead is dead. But if I were you, I'd try the fancy ladies. They're good at covering up." Elder said

emily smiled and nodded

tucking the vial in her clevage

carefully

and after thanking him again she kissed the crows and left the tower

end flashback

and u know the rest

emily said finishing her story

"Well at least that old bag of bones was able to do something." Maggot said, rolling his eyes.

emily laughed

frankly i thought ud be more upset about the crows

she teased

"I'm learning okay...even if you did cuddle those things. I'll let it pass this time." Maggot shrugged

because its my bday

"no. Because he loves you." Widow grinned.

emily grinned back

and i love him she beamed picking him up and kissing his nose

oh before i forget

she took out the bottle and haned it to widow

put this somewhere safe

"Will do, Emily dear." Widow nodded, taking it up into her web.

thanks

hey why didnt u give it to me maggot pouted

2 resons

one u dont have hands

and 2 ud ether break it or lose it

lets be real widow is the more respable one

"okay. Fair enough."maggot admitted. Emily knew him better than he thought

emily smiled wistfully

even though she was happy with her underworld family she still couldnt help missing her living family

no sooner had she said thtat then she sensed someone at her grave

Jul 13, 2021 4:19 PM

It was her father and Lidia again. It was spring and they cut the first blooms from the garden to lay at her grave.

emily was very toched and relived at the sight

they didnt forget me she thought

"We'll never forget you Emily. There will always be flowers here for you, as beautiful as you are." Henry said sadly, wiping a tear away.

emily starled not relizing shed spoken aloud

thank u daddy

she whispered tears filling her own eyes

hed grayed quite a bit in the past year

which trobled her

but but when she saw lydia her tears of sorrow turned to tears of joy

omg your pregant

she sqealed

when did this happen

"A few months ago. And we've already decided on names. Can you guess?" Lydia smiled

emily didnt even need to guess

after me

"who else? I'll teach her all the games we used to play as girls, em. I only hope she isn't as mischievous as you." Lydia giggled

emily burst into tears again

what an honor she sobbed

oh, Emmy. Don't cry. This is a happy moment. " Lydia begged, wishing she could wipe away her tear

silly lyds these are happy tears

she snilffed

this is such a great bday gift

Jul 13, 2021 11:32 PM

"I'm glad you approve Emmy. I was so hoping this would please you. I want you to know you'll always be remembered." Lydia said. "We both do, my dear girl." Henry said softly.

emily wept een harder

i miss u both so much

"And we miss you too, Emily. But don't worry. One day, we'll all be together again. And I can finally hug both you and your mother. What a joyous day that will be." Henry said, tearing up

then emily knew she had to tell him about meeting her mother

Jul 14, 2021 5:32 PM

hi

Jul 15, 2021 6:37 PM

(hi, sorry about yesterday, I had a double shift at work. I was exhausted) "Daddy?" Emily said meekly, struggling how she could tell him with Henry doing something rash. "Yes my dear?" Henry asked. Knowing something was wrong. Emily only called him Daddy when she'd gotten in trouble.

she swollwed hard a lump of tears clogging her throut

i met momma

she whispered

Henry froze. He didn't know what to say to that. "I... Emily how?" Henry gasped. Suddenly he was very worried that his wife hadn't gone to heaven, that she was stuck like Emily in purgatory.

(thanks)

(what does she normally call him

(Probably she'd be really posh and call him Papa or Dad. But when she's angry she'd call him father.)

(thats perfect

she visted me on the day of the faurel

i was crying over her grave

cause i was scared of rotting

she came down from the sky

like an angel

she hugged me and kissed me

and told me wed all be together some day

"Oh Emily..." Henry smiled, choking up as he looked up at the heavens. "I always regretted that you never got to meet. I'm... I'm so happy that you have." He said, a few tears sliding down his cheeks.

emily wept with joy again

i am to

[mydekuacademia]

hi! this is an Emergency Request! i hope this okay to ask, but could i request Aizawa with a student reader whose entire family abused them physically/psychologically for most of their life and switched to just psychological abuse as they got older? Because of this they think they can't be a hero, they are afraid of bonding with anyone, and have started sleeping/eating much less and dread having to go home. And when dorm time rolls around they're scared their parents will refuse to let them go.

i hope this is okay! Thank you for taking the time to read my request!

I hope I'm not too late answering this! Also, sorry if this isnt written the best, im in the middle of a migraine

My dms are always open if you need to talk <3

Warning: child abuse (physical and psychological)

In Safe Hands

Some people love school - they get to see their friends, learn new things, etc. Some people hate school - they have to wake up early, be around people they hate, get told what to do, etc. But for you, school was your one and only safe haven.

Every day, you woke up to either furious screams or bruising blows. If you were lucky, your wakeup call was your threadbare blanket being torn off of you, but that was rare. After you woke up, you tried your best to tiptoe down the hallway to the bathroom once you were positive it was unoccupied. There, you would do your usual morning routine of showering and making yourself presentable. There wasn't much you could do about the bruises and welts littering your skin, but you always hoped everyone at school would assume they were from training. Nobody had questioned that excuse so far.

Little did you know, your homeroom teacher had been keeping an eye on you. He knew that your classmates hadn't hit you hard enough to leave marks that lasted more than a couple days. None of them gave you any reason to be sporting dark circles under your eyes. So he paid closer attention.

As the months passed by, you were physically injured less and less, but the mental torture escalated. Some days you were screamed at relentlessly for literal hours. Other days, your family acted as though you didn't exist - normally, that was a good thing, but now it just made you feel alone. You were gaslit, berated, taunted, and that was just the verbal aspect. Your family also worked to remove your sense of privacy and safety. They removed your bedroom door, forced you to take the lock off your phone and checked it regularly, set a strict curfew and locked you out if you missed it, and so on.

This all led you to become a different person. Your classmates all saw the change, even the ones you weren't particularly close to. You began to withdraw, not raising your hand in class or sitting with your friends at lunch, and eventually not eating lunch at all. You were unsteady in hero training, which resulted in easily lost matches and more frequent trips to Recovery Girl. You always hesitated when leaving the classroom at the end of the school day. People in Class B were even talking about seeing you asleep in empty classrooms during breaks.

Aizawa had more than enough reason to confront you, so he pulled you out of hero training one day and sat you down in the teachers' lounge with a cup of tea.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush," Aizawa started. "Something's going on. Your grades are dropping, you're not eating lunch, you aren't talking to your friends, you're falling asleep between classes. Care to explain?"

You froze, heart stuttering. You knew he meant well, you knew he would never do anything to hurt you, and yet you couldn't help but see the similarities between his inquiry and your family's interrogations. You trusted your teacher, but in that moment, he was yet another abuser.

Scalding tears filled your eyes and blurred your vision, reducing your teacher to a dark blob in front of you. You wanted to say something, but your throat locked up. Instead, you shook your head and wrapped your arms around yourself.

"You won't say?" he asked. You shook your head again. "Can't talk about it?" You nodded. "Alright, how about I ask some yes or no questions?" You nodded again.

"Are you having problems at home?"

You nodded.

"Are you safe at home?"

You shrugged.

"Does your family physically hurt you?"

You made a "sort of" motion with your hand. Tears trickled down your cheeks, and your chest ached.

"Okay, have they physically hurt you recently?"

You shook your head.

"Have they ever physically hurt you?"

Yes.

"Do they emotionally hurt you?"

Yes.

"Are you safe?"

Now, you didn't know how to respond to that. You didn't feel like your life was in danger, but you certainly didn't have a good quality of life.

At your pause, Aizawa changed tactics. "Do you need help?"

His heart absolutely broke at how desperate you looked when you frantically nodded at him. He already knew he would die for any of his students, but your reaction made him want to live for his students instead. Protecting them by taking a death blow in their stead was certainly one way to help, but he now knew he could do more by staying alive to advocate for them and intervene when necessary.

"I shouldn't be telling you this, but I feel like this will give you some hope," he started. "Nezu has been considering building dorms for all students to live in. You can get out, you can be safe."

He expected your expression to lighten, even just a bit, but was surprised to see you fall further into despair. Your face dropped into your hands, and your shoulders trembled as though he had just placed a massive burden on them.

"But Aizawa-sensei," you whimpered. "They'll never let me go."

"What do you mean?"

Your head shot up again, staring him directly in the eye. "They- they won't let me leave! I'm stuck there!" Your breathing picked up. "That probably means I won't be able to continue going to school here. I should probably just drop out now. I'm not fit to be a hero-"

"(Y/n)," Aizawa interrupted. "You will not have to leave UA. If your parents contest you moving into the dorms, the school will take legal action using what you just told me. As it is, even if you are allowed to move, we will make sure they face consequences for their actions."

You peered up at him through wet eyelashes, trying not to give in to the spark of hope that was trying to take light in your heart. It was too good to be true, wasn't it?

"Also, you are more than fit to be a hero. The fact that you haven't given up is proof enough of that. No hero is expected to continue fighting after a traumatic experience until they're healed - the same goes for you."

You sat up further and unconsciously wiped the tears from your face.

"As your teacher and pro-hero Eraserhead, I promise you, at this school you're in safe hands."

#boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha x reader #my hero academia #mha #mha x reader #aizawa shouta #aizawa x reader #platonic #dadzawa #tw abuse