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#what is especially the point of this scene if INEJ HAS YET TO SEE HIS TRAUMA AFFECT HIM
atalana · 1 year
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me watching sab season 2, just mentally repeating to myself: it's not an adaptation it's high budget fanfiction, it's not an adaptation it's high budget fanfiction
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the reason why the whole pekka Rollins burying son scene didn’t quite work because of 1. lack of buildup, 2. change of audience, 3. change of plot/lack of outsider factors
*disclaimer: while i am writing out this whole thing, freddy carter killed it with this scene, and yet here i am
1. lack of buildup
In the books, it’s literally doesn’t even seem like the climax because you don’t see it coming. according to what the crows knew, it wasn’t the plan. it was the whole fake auction where they would auction up kuwei and trick everyone. and I see where they got the whole thing of pretending Kaz was caught, they replaced him with kuwei in that way because it was a similar thing. but it doesn’t work as well because while we’ve seen Pekka in the show before, and now Kaz’s backstory, I think we don’t quite see the whole “brick by brick” thing as much as the book emphasizes. Kaz legit lets Pekka out of the ice court because his death belongs to him (side note is this why they put him in hellgate?), and he even goes to him at the end of the first book to make a deal with him to get inej back. it’s also less powerful for the other crows because by that point in the book, pekka had clearly aligned himself with Van Eck— a common enemy. and the whole thing was to be able to get their money back. inej hasn't been kidnapped, the crows haven't made the deal with pekka, and they missed the part where kaz started a whole plague. all of that happens before the son scene, and it all builds and builds. it's really the scene you think it's almost over, but then this happens. and that leads me to my next point
2. change of audience
in the books, it was just pekka, a couple of his men, inej and kaz. there were no other crows, and there was no audience. because kaz didn't need to humiliate rollins in front of everyone, he needed him destroyed, and for that destruction to be able to ruin his reputation and force him out of town. and, as per usual, i will make everything about kanej, but this is a key kanej scene towards the end. first of all, kaz only trusts inej to bring her with him when he's talking about what happened in his past because no way would he say that stuff in front of everyone. he's got a reputation to keep. he only brought inej, nina and jesper were not there. he trusts her, but it also shows that despite the whole two books, he would still do something "she would not forgive him [for]" inej gets to see how he has changed, but also how he still needed this vengeance- still needed to bring rollins down in his own way. inej gets to hear what happened, and how it goes out. it was so....intimate between these few people, and it had to be this way to hit. even the first part of six of crows is called "shadow business" and that's more or less how it ended with this scene
3. lack of outside factors/change of plot
this goes along with the lack of buildup, but this is what's going on at the same time. every other member of the crows has something else going on as and before this was happening. we don't get jesper's whole thing with the grisha on parem, we don't have kuwei seemingly "died." the chaos of the auction isn't there, it's not as much stuff. also not only immediate outside factor, but we're also missing a key point that they took out of the "bathroom scene" and put into this scene. kaz tells inej he's paid off her indenture in the bathroom scene, but in the show, he has pekka fix it because of the weird thing they did with inej's whole plot. it's weird, and it's out of character for him. especially by now, kaz has learnt and relearnt that you know she's his tell. it got her kidnapped at the end of six of crows, and it would have gone badly if he had done that in front of everyone instead of just them. the scene just falls flat. we also don't get to see how it parallels the very first scene with kaz when he threatens geels (i think that's his name?) with the whole killing his mistress thing, but it was a bluff. just like this.
tl;dr: you can't put a scene that's at the end of two books without even having done the plot of the first one.
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calzone473 · 1 year
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Wylan Van Eck rant
SIX OF CROWS & CROOKED KINGDOM SPOILERS
when I first read SOC and found out Wylan didn't have any pov chapters I was so sad even though I understand why. But it would have been so interesting seeing things from his point of view especially his introductory scene and the Van Eck exchange at the end. He's such an interesting character (as are the other crows) but whats most interesting is seeing him adapt. We know from the get go he is extremely intelligent and we see even more so through his chapters in CK. For example he and Kaz are the only characters who don't reveal the plan from their perspective. Yet while he's intelligent he has also been sheltered from barrel life up until that point, making the others compare him to a child. side bar rq but I HATE it when people infantilize his character but also peoples only defense is one line from the book("we could wake them up") Its not like the other crows actually see him as a child they mostly see him as inexperienced in barrel life and that viewpoint obviously changes. He's not a baby but he's also not a mini Kaz Brekker even if they do have parallels. you can be kind and have good morals without being a child and Kaz isn't the only crow who can be unhinged(Like when Inej laughed then head butted Van Eck in the face lmao). Anyway that got off track but yeah Wylan is his own character and personally my fav out of all the crows. Another reason why is because of his actions, becoming bold at random moments then shy the next he is me fr. The things I would do for a book where he is one of the main characters (He technically is in SOC but come on we all know kaz and Inej get the most chapters) anyway he is just a very cool character
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jeanmoreaux · 1 year
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MICHELLE PLEASE LMK UR THOTS ON THE SHOW WHEN U FINISH (IM ON EP 7 ATM)
LYS I PROMISE I'LL ANNOY YOU IN THE DMS GDHSDSDJKJKSD i finished episode 3 earlier today and my ambivalent feelings are still very much a thing. here are some of my thought i had while watching the first three episodes to give you a taste of some (hastily scribbled down) thoughts i had so far.
MALINA KISS 🥺🥹😭
i'd die for inej 🥰 she can do no wrong in my eyes
the editing of the fight scenes is.......weird??? i hate the slow mo stuff. like pls just don't.
the editing between scenes is a little disjointed but PARTICULARLY the editing when returning from one storyline to an ongoing one is often a little jarring. the feeling of the continuity is a little wonky imo.
having people go "CRIMINALS!" not once but TWICE when dealing with kaz and jesper 🥴 very much made me cringe in context. who thought that was good dialogue??? why have these people say that as if they have no idea who they're dealing with????? it's just bad, i'm so sorry.
the dialogue in general is a little stiff and inorganic at times.... the chemistry between characters truly is doing some heavy lifting, saving some scenes. the cast is doing A LOT (all of them, especially the crows—though i have to admit the scenes with the darkling and crew are a little 'meh' at times).
talking about cast, freddy is very enjoyable to watch. i am also beyond ready for kaz to enter his deranged bastard era 🫶 patrick's nikolai is really working for me too so far. i think he strikes the right balance. archie's performances have been great as well! that scene between alina and mal after nikolai proposes marriage in ep3???? SO GOOD OMGGGG <33333
not sure how i feel about a lot of soc plot points playing out already. i honestly don't want stuff from that storyline happening NOW. i thought this season was gonna be more buildup, but like even in these first couple of episodes they already went strong with the wesper & kanej stuff for example so idk i can see them going there this season already (not with kanej, but maybe with wesper) even though internally i beg them to NOT. it would be enough to create some tension imo. having these characters prematurely stuck in these soc/ck dynamics will inevitable change the ice court storyline and everything beyond that.
the scene with the crows on the roof watching the crow club go up in flames???? love it. peak cinema.
also i really can't tell what route they'll go with wylan (ultimately). but if they’re gonna go the uwu innocent little baby boy with no badassery behind it i’m gonna throw fists. he has a moral compass he mostly adheres to and is generally a kind guy, sure, but he's also a little cunning shit at times and i hope they'll lean in to that over time.
always love seeing the darkling doing horribly. love that we get to see him being his fucked up guy. i hope people can stop romanticising him now that they saw him cut off his mother's finger. if not i hope they'll get well soon <3
there is something bugging me about the pacing but i can't yet put my finger on what exactly isn't working for me. maybe because after 3 episodes it still feels like we're in the "set up" stage of the story. REALLY hoping ep4 will pick up a little.
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Shadow and Bone 2x05 Review
Ok going to be honest this might be the episode where they lost me. The first 4 episode I thought were pretty solid and I enjoyed them but this one I don’t know why but I just didn’t enjoy it as much. It felt rushed but also felt like it dragged which I know is a bit of a oxymoron but there we go. I also feel like not a lot really happened. But anyway best to get into it, there will spoilers any book spoilers will be between two *. 
The Crows 
The crows whole mission this episode was getting the sword in shu han. However there was also alot of tension between them all, last episode Kaz kicked Inej out of the crew so there is the fallout from that. He also doesn’t tell her about the new job, I did think it was funny though when Nina says that Kaz would rather push Inej away than admit he feels anything for her and then questions whether she was supposed to say that out loud. Then Jesper puts his foot in his mouth with Wylan when its revealed he can’t read and this is clearly something he feels ashamed off, Jesper spends most of the episode trying to mend that yet somehow keeps making it worse. I did like the scene where Wylan calls Jesper out for trying to tell him how to feel about his shame whilst he himself is hiding that he is grisha. 
I did like the conversation between Nina and Zoya. It’s clear Zoya believes that Nina has abandoned her country and has dome resentment towards her for that. What is interesting is the line about Fjerdans burning grisha and how ‘you can’t unlearn that kind of hatred.’ I do think you could apply this to ravka and otkazat’sya views of grisha, at the moment Nikolai and Alina have this whole lets unite otkazat’sya and grisha and that once the fold is gone there’ll be no reason to hate the grisha but they have forgotten that unlearning the hatred otkazat’sya have for grisha is not going to be easy. I don’t really agree with Zoya’s statement that hate can’t be unlearnt, I think it can, as nina and matthais showed, but I think it is incredibly difficult especially if you’re talking about a mass group of people. It’s going to be easy to turn one persons opinion but very difficult to turn an entire nations. But this scene did make me feel really bad for Nina especially when she is talking about her and matthias choosing each other and choosing to be free together but then Zoya pointing out that now Matthias is in hellgate and nina has abandoned her country and asking if it was worth it, seeing that tear come down Nina’s face was really sad.  
We also learn where Kaz gets his touch aversion from and it makes perfect sense, I too would never want to be touched again my life if I had gone through that trauma. That scene in the teashop when Kaz starts to have the panic attack and Nina unknowingly touches his hand was really intense, but I do love that Inej saves him and gets him out of the situation and says that she couldn’t leave him. I mean Kaz and Inej are having some really great scenes this season. 
Darklina 
I feel like both Alina and Aleks become more unhinged in this episode. Alina in particular is starting to spiral a bit. She can’t find mal, she is seeing the aftermath of Aleks’ attack and poor Adrik does lose his arm, she is reunited with Genya and Baghra and has learnt what Aleks has done to them and all of this is clearly having a deep effect on Alina who is starting to act erratic. Meanwhile Aleks finds out that Baghra and Genya have escaped and that all the experiments were destroyed so that hasn’t put him in the best of moods. But what’s interesting is again like when he had an angry outburst after finding out the journal was missing, when he feels his anger rising here he once again reaches through their connection so he can see Alina, I really do think that he is using her as a sort of anchor to reign in these feelings of anger, she is what calms him and helps him regain control.
Then we have the mind palace scene between them where Alina is looking to sever the link between them. This scene was really intriguing to me because its kind of like the tables have turned and here we have Alina manipulating Aleks, I mean it was clear the she was manipulating him and honestly I think he did know that and you can see his wariness, her change of mind came too quickly for it to be real and he knows that. But I think at the same time she is saying all the things he has ever wanted to hear from her. Also I do think whilst she is trying to manipulate him what she is saying is true, its all the things she has denied up until now and I do think most of what she says is how she really feels. Like when she tells him he was the first person to see who she really was, what she was truly capable of. She was telling the truth here and she confirms as much later when she is talking with Baghra and says that he was the first one to show her that she wasn’t just a weak stick from Keramzin, that he showed her she was meant for more and honestly that scene she has with Baghra was heartbreaking because it really did highlight all the insecurities she had about herself before meeting Aleks and how he made her feel special and like she could be something but also how him then betraying her had such a deep effect on her and how she is struggling with that. 
Another thing she says that I think is true and something she has been in denial about is how mal doesn’t understand the power that is growing within her, this is shown in their argument right after this scene where he admits that she’s just been barrelling towards her goal of saving ravka and hunting the amplifiers and he’s just been trying to keep up. 
Alina does change tactics during the scene when she says its not all about power, she turns from talking about how a like they are to full on seduction mode. It once again reminded me of just how much chemistry these guys have, like you could feel the want between them. We also got Aleks saying the ‘wanting makes us weak’ line. The way when she stroked his cheek he leant into her touch and closed his eyes. I think a part of him was still wary that this was a manipulation but also he couldn’t help but react to her touch. 
So as I said I do think that Alina was being truthful in this scene, but its interesting because its essentially a tactic she learnt from Aleks, its the same thing he did to her in season 1, manipulate not with lies but with the truth. Alina hides her true intentions behind that truth she is telling him. 
*One scene I did hate though was when Aleks says the line ‘the whole world will hear it when I make her scream.’ The reason I hate it is because its nearly identical to a line from the second book that the Darkling says to Mal. Only hear they have completely changed the meaning and tone of it. In the books it is very much an innuendo and it happens right after Mal reacts with jealously to seeing the darkling saving Alina from tripping. LB even confirmed that it was an innuendo in an interview she did. But here they’ve twisted it into something violent and hateful. Which as a darklina and a book reader who found humour in that scene, as you were supposed to, I am really disappointed the added the line but in this way. I would have preferred they had left it out.* 
Genya and David
 Oh poor Genya she really had an emotional episode. I hated that she felt the need to hide from david. But I did like the scene where she confronted the Queen and told her how she was able to poison the King. I also liked how Nikolai took his mother to task and held her accountable for the part she played in what happened to Genya. As Nikolai said Genya was under the Queen’s protection and the Queen turned a blind eye and even thought it was acceptable because he was her king and genya was just a servant. But the Queen was supposed to mother to all ravkans and yet she failed in that task. 
 I loved the speech david gave to genya though about how her beauty is her armour and how it was fragile and for show but what was inside her was steel. Which is unbreakable and doesn’t need fixing. Just the whole speech was beautiful. And then Genya saying that she was able to find them because she sort out familiar heartbeats was the cherry on top. Honestly the whole scene I am not ashamed to admit brought tears to my eyes.   
So this was one of my shorter reviews but honestly I feel like this episode was just pairs of characters having conversations and not a whole lot really happened. So on to the next episode. 
Favourite Lines 
‘...because no one is this bloody band of broken dolls can confab worth a damn.’ 
‘Your beauty is your armour. It’s fragile stuff, all show, really. But what’s inside you, that’s steel. It’s brave and unbreakable and it doesn’t need fixing.’ 
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carica-ficus · 9 months
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-30/07/2023- "Six of Crows" by Leigh Bardugo
Read through: 56%
Read today: 16%
Today we decided to just chill all day, so we just read on the terrace. This also means we both went through a substantial amount. I crossed the 50% mark, while my bf reached part 3 (~40%).
Some remarks, as always:
My bf doesn't like Nina and I'm crushed. He says she complains too much. Makes too many excuses. "What do you mean she can't heal Inej? Bullshit. She just has to sew her up and that's it."
On the other hand, he loves Matthias. He says he's so funny. Like a grumpy, old grampa. "He's 19", I say. "19??? Why are they all so young?" He's got a point.
Love everyone's snarky bickerings. The one about their "ghosts" is hilarious. I usually hate cliché moments like these, but they just work with the Crows. I especially love the fact that Kaz joins them as well.
Maybe I'm just PMSing, or maybe Kaz's backstory with Jordie really hit me 10 times harder now that I'm older. That sentence when Kaz opens his eyes and just sees Jordie staring at the stars is soul-crushing. The way Kaz needed to leave his brother's body behind, to leave his eyes open because he knew if he did it, he'd risk freezing in the water again, is just so heartbreaking.
I admire how Bardugo handles plot points. She deliberately writes off a scene and it seems relatively frivolous, only to carry specific meaning which is then revealed in the next chapter. I haven't read many books about heists or missions like these, but she makes these carefully though-out plot points seem logical, while in fact they were probably extremely complicated to figure out during her planning stage. She makes it look so easy, when it fact it couldn't have been. It's ingenious. And it makes the book really stand out from the rest in the genre.
Since I'm re-reading, the revelation of Jesper being a Fabrikator wasn't a shocker, but the way it happens is still pretty cool!
Oh, and I'm noticing how well Bardugo hid that Wylan can't read! Every single time he comes across something written, he's obviously shaken up, but the reader doesn't yet know the real reason why. Oh, and his dad is such a douchebag. Sending him letters when he knows he can't understand them. So yeah. Huge props to Bardugo. Love how she approaches everything with so much detail.
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kiljoytrout · 3 years
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Some thoughts about Kaz and Kanej’s popularity
note: this meta might be a bit half baked since I’ve not read Crooked Kingdom yet, but I’ll do my best and no spoilers pls! highkey was just going to let this languish in my journal but i had a feeling that @sanktaofknives​ would enjoy this, so here ya go!
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One of the most notable aspects of Six of Crows is what we come to feel for Kaz Brekker and his relationship with Inej Ghafa. At first glance, it may appear to some a typical YA trope, intended to pander to Bad Boy™ enthusiasts who dream of being whisked away from their ivory towers by fallen angels in black leather.  But this brushoff doesn’t hold up under closer inspection: Kaz is broken and twisted in ways that even the most fanatical of admirers would take pause at, a man whose edge is not simply a conduit for salacious sex scenes (in fact as a ramification of his frightening back story, he feels revulsion for most skin to skin touch), and Inej the Wraith with her dark skin, glowing knives, and refusal to bow down even to the Bastard of the Barrel (but not in a sold to Harry Styles way) isn’t a typical YA self-insert. So why do we long for love to blossom in these two most of all? Nina and Matthias’s homicidal banter and Wylan and Jesper’s flirtatious clownery both have their charms but there is no arguing which romance hangs in the stars, encompasses our minds to the point that for many fans, the rest merely orbit around it. It’s because we as readers and as human beings are drawn to contradictions. We like the beautiful roses that rise from our perfectly tended gardens, whose thorns are an afterthought, for what trouble would ever approach it? But we gaze in awe at the flowers that bloom in between concrete cracks, battling stone and drought and the world trying to crush it back into the ground. Kaz Brekker (which isn’t even his real name) is a staircase of contradictions, with each step into his psyche taking you higher and higher until you’re so far up that you wonder how he ever started from the pure, lowly ground. He has seen unspeakable things, done unspeakable things, and while thoughts, especially in a place like Ketterdam, by rule remain unspoken, we can see through his POV chapters that Kaz’s are worst than most. Yet we root for him as he devises treacherous schemes, guns gangsters down, and rips eyeballs out of sockets to be thrown into the cold, briny sea. Why? Because as the story progresses, we get to see his armor fall, his mercy counseled, his past unhaunted by a 16 year old Suli girl that he rescued on a glance from the brothel house worse than death. Kaz will never get back his brother, his childhood, his grit and suffering that paved the gilded steps of the Crows Club. Inej shall never get back those lost years, undo the violations she suffered in the Menagerie, or erase the scars that have made her body and mind a map of places she longs to forget. But what makes this story worth telling, heck what makes life worth living, is when you line up these broken pieces together, conjoin contradictions, and step back to reveal a perfect paradox. Nothing will ever be enough to banish the past. But together Kaz and Inej, more than just Dirtyhands and Wraith, beat the past back long enough to cultivate a crop rarely found in the Barrel: the whisper thin, deeprooted seed of hope. 
everyone who reads this, love ya bunches and i love respectful discourse and SOC topic requests! (i’ll also be reading CK soon so thats not off limits, but preface w/a spoiler warning pls) 
over and out- kiljoytrout 
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him-e · 3 years
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what did you think of shadow and bone? have you read the books? i only read the duology
Thoughts on Shadow and Bone, now that you've probably seen it?
I think the show is alright? It lacks a real wow factor as far as I’m concerned, but it’s enjoyable. It’s especially enjoyable in those parts I didn’t anticipate to like / didn’t even know would be there. 
Whereas the main selling points leave a lot to be desired.
The good stuff: the visuals. The aesthetic. The overall concept. Production, casting and costumes are excellent, the setting is fascinating. The worldbuilding isn’t perfect and is sometimes confusing, which is probably due to the show jumping ahead of the books and introducing elements that happen much later in the book saga, but I’m loving the vague steampunk-y vibe of it mixed with more typical fantasy stuff and slavic-inspired lore, the fact that it’s set in dystopian Russia rather than your usual ye olde England.
I find it interesting that in this ‘verse the Grisha are simultaneously superstars, privileged elite, legendary creatures and despised outcasts, according to the context and the type of magic they wield. It’s A Lot, and so far it’s all a bit underdeveloped and messy, like a patchwork of different narratives and tropes sewn together without an organic worldbuilding structure. (there are hints to a past when they were hunted, but how did they go from that to being, essentially, an institutionalized asset to the government isn’t clear yet. There’s huge narrative potential in this, and I hope future seasons will delve into those aspects)
Many of the supporting characters are surprisingly solid. I appreciated that Genya and Zoya eventually sort of traded places, subverting the audience’s assumptions about them and their own character stereotypes, despite the little screentime they were given.
Breakout characters/ships for me were Nina/Matthias, and even more so the Crows, i.e. the stuff I didn’t see coming and knew nothing about (having only read the first book). (I thought the entire Crows subplot was handled in a somewhat convoluted way, at least in the first episodes; it was hard to keep track of who wanted Alina and why, but the Crows’ chemistry is so strong it carried the whole Plot B on its shoulders).
HELNIK. As an enemies to lovers dynamic, Helnik was SUPER on the nose, I’d say bordering on clichéd with the unapologetic, straight outta fanfiction use of classic tropes like “we need to team up to survive” and “there’s only one bed and we’ll freeze to death if we don’t take our conveniently damp clothes off and keep each other warm with the heat of our naked bodies” (not that I’m complaining, but i like to pine for my ships a bit before getting to the juicy tropetown part, tyvm). And then they’re suddenly on opposite sides again because of a tragic misunderstanding - does Bardugo hate high-conflict dynamics? It certainly seems so, because between Helnik and Darklina I’m starting to see a pattern where the slow burn and blossoming mutual trust is rushed and painted in broad, stereotypical strokes to get as fast as possible to the part where they *hate each other again* and that’s... huh. Something.
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^That’s probably why I’m almost more interested in Kaz x Inej, because their relationship feels a bit more nuanced, a bit more mysterious, and a bit more unpredictable. (I didn’t bother spoiling myself about them, so I really don’t know where they’re going, but it’s refreshing to see a dynamic that the narrative isn’t scrambling to define in one direction or the other as quickly as possible)
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Now, as for Darklina VS Malina... I found exactly what I expected. 
Both are ship dynamics I’m, on principle, very much into (light heroine/dark villain, pining friends to lovers) but both are also much less interesting than they claim to be, or could have been with different narrative choices. I’ll concede that the show characters are all more fleshed out and likable than their book counterparts, and the cringe parts I vaguely remembered from the books played out differently. And, well, Ben Barnes dominates the scene, he’s hot as HELL, literally every single second he’s on screen is a fuck you to Bardugo’s attempts to make his character lame and uninteresting and I’m LOVING it, lol.
But yeah, B Barnes aside, Darklina is intrinsically, deliberately made to be unshippable. 
It makes me mad, because it’s - archetypally speaking - made of shipping dynamite: yin/yang-sun and moon, opposites attract, COMPLEMENTARY POWERS AND SO ON. And what does Bardugo do with these ingredients? A FUCKING DELIBERATE DISASTER:
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^ Placing the kiss so early on (season 1, episode five) effectively kills the romantic tension that was (correctly) building up until that point, and leaves the audience very little to still hope for, in terms of emotional evolution of the dynamic. 
Bardugo lays all the good stuff down as early and quickly as possible (the bonding, the conflicted attraction, the recognizing the other as one’s equal, etc) only to turn the tables and pull the rug so y’all sick creepyshippers won’t have anything to look forward to, because THEY’VE ALREADY HOOKED UP AND THAT BELONGS TO THE PAST, IT’S OVER, THEY’RE ENEMIES. This, combined to the fact that she falls for him *without* knowing who he really is, is the opposite of what I want from a heroine/villain ship (it’s basically lovers to enemies, and while that can be valid too, I wanted to see more pining and more prolonged, tormented symbolic attraction to the Shadow/Animus on Alina’s part). 
But here’s the trick: it’s not marketed as lovers to enemies - it has all the aesthetics and trappings of an enemies to lovers (the Darkling is, from the get go, villain-presenting, starting from his name), so it genuinely feels like a trollfic, or at the very least a cautionary tale *against* shipping the heroine with the tall dark brooding young villain, and I don’t think it’s cool at all. It makes the story WAY less interesting, because it humanizes the villain early on (when it’s not yet useful or poignant to the story, because it’s unearned) but it’s a red herring. The real plot twist is that the villain shouldn’t be sympathized with, just defeated: there’s a promise of nuanced storytelling, that is quickly denied and tossed aside. So is the idea of incorporating your Shadow (a notion that Bardugo must be familiar with, otherwise she wouldn’t have structured Alina and the Darkling as polar opposites who complement each other, but that she categorically refutes)
Then we have Malina. The good ship.
Look, I’m not that biased against it. I don’t want to be biased on principle against a friends to lovers dynamic that antagonizes a heroine/villain one, because every narrative is different, and for personal reasons I can deeply relate to the idea of being (unspeakably) in love with your best friend. So there are aspects of Malina that I can definitely be into, but it troubles me that in this specific context it’s framed as a regression. It’s Alina’s comfort zone, a fading dream of happiness from an idealized childhood, to sustain which the heroine systematically stunts her growth and literally repressed her own powers, something that in the books made her sickly and weak. But the narrative weirdly romanticizes this codependency, often making her tunnel vision re: going back to Mal her primary goal and centering on him her entire backstory/motivation, to the point that when she starts acting more serious re: her powers and alleged mission to destroy the Fold, it feels inorganic and unearned. 
Mal is intrinsically extraneous to Alina’s powers, he doesn’t share them, he doesn’t understand them, he has little to offer to help her with them, and so the feeling is that he’s also extraneous to her heroine’s journey, aside from being a sort of sidekick or safe harbor to eventually come back to. People have compared him to Raoul from Phantom of the Opera, and yeah, he has the same ~magic neutralizer~ vibe, tbh.
The narrative also polarizes Mal’s normalcy and relative “safety” against Aleksander’s sexy evil, framing Alina’s quasi-platonic fixation on the former as a better and purer form of love than her (much more visible and palpable) attraction to the latter. This is exacerbated by the show almost entirely relying on scenes of them as kids to convey their bond. I’m sure there are ways to depict innocent pining for your best friend that don’t involve obsessively focusing on flashbacks of two CHILDREN running in a meadow and looking exactly like brother and sister. LIKE. I get it, they’re like soulmates in every possible way, BUT DO THEY WANT TO KISS EACH OTHER?
Which brings me to a general complain: for a young adult saga centering on a young heroine and full of so many hot people, this story is weirdly unsexy? There are a lot of shippable dynamics, but they’re done in such a careless, ineffective way that makes ZERO EFFORT to work on stuff like slow burn, pining and romantic tension, and when it does it’s so heavy handed that the viewer doesn’t feel encouraged at all to fill the blanks with their imagination and start anticipating things (which is, imo, the ESSENCE of shipping). The one dynamic that got vaguely close to this is, again, Kaz and Inej, and coincidentally it’s also the one we didn’t get confirmed as romantic YET. Other than that, where’s the slow burn? What ship am I supposed to agonize over during the hiatus to season two? Has shipping become something to feel ashamed of, like an embarrassing relative you no longer want to invite in your home?
Anyway, back to Alina/Darkling/Mal, this is how the story reads to me:
girl suspects to be special, carefully pretends to be normal so she can stay with Good Boy
the girl’s powers eventually manifest; she’s forcibly separated from Good Boy
the girl’s powers attract Bad Boy who is her equal and opposite but is also a major asshole
girl initially falls for Bad Boy; has to learn a hard lesson that nobody that sexy will ever want her for who she is, he’s just trying to exploit her
also, no, there is no such thing as a Power Couple
girl is literally given a slave collar by Bad Boy through which he harnesses her power (a parody of the Twin Scars trope)
you know how the story initially suggested that the joint powers of Darkness and Light would defeat evil? LOL NO, Darkness is actually evil itself and the way you destroy evil is using Light to destroy Darkness, forget that whole Jungian bullshit of integrating your shadow, silly!
conclusion: girl realizes being special sucks. She was right all along! Hiding and suppressing her powers was the best choice! She goes back to the start, to the same Good Boy she was meekly pining for prior to the start of the story.
... there’s an uncomfortable overall subtext that reads a lot like a cautionary tale against - look, not just against darkships and villain/heroine pairings, but also *overpowered* heroines and, well... change? Growth?
Like, it’s certainly a Choice that Alina starts the story *already* in love with Mal. That she always knew it was him. The realization could have happened later (making the dynamic much more shippable, too), but no. 
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spaceshipkat · 3 years
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how did the actor playing kaz do? i actually haven't watched it yet bc im so nervous kaz is the fictional character i relate to the most (not that im a criminal lol i have a cane and ocd) and while i've heard inej and jesper kill it i've heard nothing about kaz
honestly? i thought Freddy Carter was superb. it took a little while to warm up to him (especially toward kanej, but i think their plot this season was to get them to the point they’re at in SOC, which i assume will happen in season 2--or, i hope anyway, bc i don’t see how else they can blend the Crows’ plot into the S&B plot without the Ice Court coming into play. they also name-dropped the Ice Court, so it seems reasonable to assume that’s where the Crows will head next, especially since the season does end with Matthias headed toward Hellgate and hating Nina due to her being responsible for his current predicament, but i digress), but once i did, i loved his acting and his nuances and how much respect his disabilty was handled (though i really could’ve done without the ableism in the church scene, however awesome that church scene was). 
i don’t have a cane myself, but i do have a bad knee and a bad hip that impede a lot of my mobility and cause me trouble most days (my knee in particular), and i found Freddy’s portrayal of Kaz’s disability really accurate and respectful. i think it helped that Leigh was on set a lot (she does have a cameo after all), and since she has the same disability as Kaz, she could provide a lot of guidance for how to portray him. for instance, there were scenes where, when Kaz was in disguise and therefore couldn’t have his cane on him, he had to stop to rest his knee and Freddy Carter made it clear that that knee was causing Kaz a lot of pain. the show also didn’t make him do any crazy stunts that other people who don’t understand disabilities or who don’t seek to be respectful would probably make Kaz do, so it’s already improving from a lot of disabled characters in shitty media. 
i think the Dirtyhands part could have been a little more clearly displayed (what he does with Alina at the end does lend itself to showing Kaz’s humanity and the good side we all know he has, but it also does detract a bit from his Dirtyhands MO), but i hope that we’ll see more of it next season thanks to the hints we did get. and personally, i am so looking forward to that scene in CK where Kaz takes out everyone on the staircase with his cane. 
but anyway, that’s beside the point of this post. in my opinion, Freddy Carter did an exceptional job with Kaz and was such a wonderful portrayal of a disabled person. it was thrilling to see that in a fantasy show, where people like you and i rarely exist. 
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lunaajade · 3 years
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Everything You Need to Know about “Shadow and Bone” on Netflix (*UPDATED: POSSIBLE LANGUAGE OF THORNS ADAPTATION INFO)
 Since it’s recently been confirmed that we’d be getting S&B content in a few days (finally!), I thought I’d compile and summarize as much info as I could to refresh everyone’s memories! Please spread the word/share this post to those who aren’t up to date! (I’ve seen some people online who are worried about how it’s going to turn out, and I’d like to be able to hopefully reassure those people)
Now, there’s a LOT of stuff, so there’s always the chance I missed/forgot something. This post will be split up into categories based on type of info, so here we go! I went back and listened to/watched both of the big live streams (NYCC and the S&B Charity Competition), went on the Grishaverse Reddit, etc. to find as much (extra/bonus) stuff as I could. (If I missed anything/got something wrong, please feel free to leave a comment!)
Update: A lot of people have been asking where it was confirmed we were getting content soon. I found out from one of the update accounts I follow.
Thanks for reading, everyone!
General/Key Info About the Show
-This first season will be adapting both “Shadow and Bone” and what has been dubbed a “Book 0″ (most likely meaning prequel/backstory/set-up) for “Six of Crows” -In relation to the above point, the timelines are being brought together for the show. (Normally in the books, the two series are set two years apart)(We don’t know how exactly or what this means for the story, but I have a really interesting theory that I thought up in relation to this, message me if you’d like to hear it.) -Leigh acknowledges and understands that some of us have doubts and are worried about the show, but she has publicly assured us (numerous times) of how much she loves the show and cast, how well she thinks the crew/writers did in bringing the Grishaverse to life, etc. See a later point below in the Facts/Tidbits section -The first season will have 8, one-hour long episodes -Alina has been made half Shu (half Asian) for the show! Leigh stated that was decided on after she and Eric had a lengthy discussion on Alina’s character. -The main cast (as in confirmed to be in all episodes) is comprised of Jessie Mei Li (as Alina), Archie Renaux (as Mal), Ben Barnes (as the Darkling), Freddy Carter (as Kaz), Amita Suman (as Inej), and Kit Young (as Jesper) -Wylan and Nikolai are NOT in the first season. (Nikolai didn’t appear until the second book, and Leigh confirmed that at this point in the story, the Crows had not met Wylan yet.) -Other cast members include Danielle Galligan (as Nina), Calahan Skogman (as Matthias), Daisy Head (as Genya), Sujaya Dasgupta (as Zoya), Luke Pasqualino (as David), Julian Kostov (as Fedyor), Simon Sears (as Ivan), Zoe Wanamaker (as Baghra), and more! -The Darkling will also be called “General Kirigan” in the show. From what we know, The Darkling will be the “enemy” to Ravka (so in essence, General Kirigan is his alias/fake persona (what he’ll most likely be referred to for most of the show), and no one knows that he’s actually their enemy. (Meaning it’ll most likely a super big moment when they learn their general was actually the Darkling in disguise)). -The show was shot on location in Budapest, Hungary. (And additional filming took place this past fall in Vancouver) -In order, the 8 episodes are titled the following: “A Searing Burst of Light”, “We’re All Someone’s Monster”, “The Making at the Heart of the World”, “Otkazat’sya”, “Show Me Who You Are”, “The Heart is An Arrow”, “The Unsea”, & “No Mourners”.
Other (Fun) Facts/Tidbits About the Show
-Upon seeing Jessie’s audition, Leigh loved her audition/portrayal of Alina so much that she apparently stated that she wanted her to play Alina or she’d be out of the project. She was sent five auditions to watch, Jessie’s was the third, and she said she didn’t bother watching the rest of them. -Leigh stated that she and Eric Heisserer (the creator of the show) said they were on the same page from the first meeting. All other past meetings with producers and companies about possible adaptations had left her with a bad feeling, but she said they’d had the same ideas about inclusion, story, staff, etc. She said she’s loved the respect he’s shown towards the work (and, in a way, to us the fans) -Netflix apparently also has the rights to adapt “The Language of Thorns” , though we’ve gotten no info on that adaptation yet. (UPDATE: I just watched a Leigh Bardugo event from Feb 2019 (a few weeks after the show was first announced, I think): As of  that day, she said that she thought that they were going to use LoT more for "texture” (IMO that might mean worldbuilding?) in the show. And I don’t know if she was talking about LoT specifically because she was very vague, but she said that there were certain things in the show that she thinks readers will be really excited about. Again, this was over a year ago, back when they were still in pre-production and stuff, so don’t take my word for it. Besides this, I couldn’t find anything else relating to a possible LoT adaptation. Maybe they’ll have the stories from LoT appear as actual folk tales told in the show, and that’s the “adaptation”? IDK. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpHnw8Ygw5c&t=1906s)) -Leigh is an exec. producer on the show! I’m no expert, so I don’t know how much say/power she had in the process, but she definitely had some. -There is a RAVKAN edition of the “Shadow and Bone” book that Leigh says makes a cameo in the show! -Jesper’s guns had custom etchings done on them by a Hungarian antique gunsmith! (And they were so good that Leigh and Eric said that it looked like it belonged in a museum--they were also described to be quite heavy!) -Eric Heisserer is the creator of the show, he is an award-winning writer, well known for “Arrival”, “Bird Box”, and more. (If I remember correctly, Leigh said that he’d reached out to her about making the show!) -A DeKappel painting (maybe the one owned by Van Eck?) was confirmed to be in the pilot episode. -Pekka Rollins and Tante Heleen have been confirmed to be in the first season, but their casting has (up to this point) not yet been revealed. -Bo Yul-Bayur is confirmed to be in the show! (Though Kuwei has not) -Leigh will have  a cameo in (I think) Episode 5! She will be wearing a Materialki kefta and will be opening a door, if I remember correctly. -A lot of the crew was also extremely passionate about the project and fans of the books -The “Lives of Saints” book that was published in October is an actual book/prop that is appearing in the show! -I’m personally fine with Mal, but Leigh says that Archie is going to change everyone’s minds with his portrayal! -The costume designer for the show is Wendy Partridge, known for her work on “Thor: The Dark World”, “Pompeii”, and more!  -The composer for the show is Joe Trapanese, known for composing for “The Greatest Showman”, “Straight Outta Compton”, “Lady and the Tramp”, and more! At the NYCC Grishaverse panel, they revealed a little bit of the score (”Grisha Theme”): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFxIEbsHKJA 
Fun Cast/On Set Stories/Facts
-The cast all loves each other, and are all extremely passionate about this show, which is great! (Leigh said that on her second visit to the set, she heard them singing together) -Leigh says that Ben Barnes once snuck up behind her on her first day on set and scared her by whispering “Fine, make me your villain” -Freddy’s favorite Grishaverse book is “Six of Crows”, but most specifically the first line of chapter 2 (”Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason.”) -Jessie would apparently come to set on some of her days off to support the cast and crew! -Sujaya has stated that her favorite Grishaverse character is Nikolai! (#Zoyalai) -Freddy has become famous/popular with the fandom, one of the reasons being because he often comments on posts/live streams asking something along the lines of “What was it like working with Freddy Carter? xoxo” -Danielle loves Nina and her journey in “King of Scars” -According to a Tweet, Freddy and Leigh said that there had been a scene with “a very pesky gate”--Freddy said that it “wouldn’t be proper to tweet the expletives [he] used that day” and that he thinks he “scarred” Amita and Eric. -Amita’s favorite thing about Inej is her silence, and her favorite Grishaverse book is “Six of Crows” (as of May, where we learned this during a live-stream, she said she’s read it three times and listened to the audiobook twice.) -There was a waffle truck on set on the last day of shooting! -Calahan says that if he could play any other Grishaverse character, he’d want to play Nikolai! -While she did work with the trainer to get more physically fit, Amita learned most of her knife techniques by herself! -Leigh said she cried a lot while on set! (She said there was one scene they were shooting that she has a very clear, vivid memory of writing many years back--based on the context of which she was talking about it, if I had to guess, I’d guess she’s describing the Winter Fete.) -Leigh also said that on one of her first days on set, it was funny/weird to see all the extras in First Army uniforms chilling on their phones, drinking coffee, etc. -One of Calahan’s favorite character dynamics in the books is the dynamic between Kaz and Matthias -There was a moment where Amita was fully in costume and doing amazing, graceful knife work, only to trip and fall when she’d finished. -Amita and Jessie and Sujaya were best friends on set. -Sujaya loved everything about playing Zoya. (Especially her confidence) -Leigh says one of her favorite props was Kaz’s cane, especially because of what it meant to her and the story. -If he could be any Grisha order, Calahan says he’d want to be a Corporalki -Calahan loves Matthias’s journey/arc. -Kit’s favorite Grishaverse book is “Crooked Kingdom”!
Links
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X65iI1YXrbU (NYCC Grishaverse Panel) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHou5rVs6o0 (S&B Talent Show Charity Live Stream ft. the S&B Cast!--the IG video got taken down because Archie deleted his IG account and switched to a new one) -https://www.netflix.com/title/80236319 (”Shadow and Bone” on Netflix!) -https://twitter.com/shadowandbone_ (Official “Shadow and Bone” Twitter!) -https://www.instagram.com/shadowandbone/?hl=en (Official “Shadow and Bone” Instagram!) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRh-Pmbynww (Annoucement made by cast when filming wrapped! (can be found on the social media accounts, but here’s a link to YT)) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bpY8uLtyB4 (A S&B Cast Crack video by HeartPhantom--it highlights a lot of the inside jokes and memes that we’ve gotten to witness among the cast, and also just generally shows off how hilariously chaotic everyone is (this cast is the definition of chaotic good, lol))
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shadow and bone rewatch s1e6 while drinking mid-range scotch
I wish I have a face that is as unlined and pretty as Ben Barnes' when I'm 39
Arken you dirty dirty liar
the face Alek is making at his lies that he knows are lies firstly because he knows the art of lying so well and also because he can read people very well
okay Ivan is kind of a bad bitch with his smirk at Arken's lies
alek's eyes narrowing and his little smile when Arken says 'im an entertainer' bitch I love this show
*grabs hand, pulls up sleeve, and discovers Arken's hand is full of marks indicating successful passages through the fold* 'well, that is certainly entertaining' I love this man with all my heart
him screaming is so fucking hot, is that weird for me to say
Nina being the Darkling's spy is quite interesting
Ben giving the Darkling crazy eyes when Arken owns up to his guilt is so cool
also wtf is Arken a fool trying to negotiate with possibly the strongest man in the world
kind of loved the darkness literally eating him
also love Alina learning to use her powers better when she is alone than when she is with anyone else, wish we got to see the cut in this season as per the books, ah can't have everything I guess
the camera pan to Jesper's gun at his side, amazing
god Jessie is literally so beautiful I need to see her bring Alina to the peak of her power so bad
netflix you better renew this series to let the plot run to its completion
HOW THE FUCK DID THEY CAST THE CROWS SO PERFECTLY
INEJ FUCKING TREMBLING JUST THE TINIEST BIT AS SHE BOWS SLIGHTLY TO ALINA SGSHSBSJJSJSSJ MY TWO QUEENS
'And where is my Summoner?' my little Darklina heart ouchie I really wish you hadn't used and manipulated her like this Alek it was incredibly fucked up especially considering you actually caught feelings
'Ivan and I won't fail you' oh Fedyor my baby, my angel, you don't deserve what is coming
Helnik literally recreating Titanic lmao stop this is a joke
I too would jump off the raft if I came to consciousness to see a gorgeous woman with magical powers with her hand on my back
omg but why is ryevost so pretty though
'I know exactly how she felt. The King's soldiers treated me the same way... I'm not myself today.' why must you do this to me, why must you fuel my darklina soulmates agenda idiocy
I don't quite think I have a problem with the Zoya Darkling relationship as much as I have a problem with the line they chose to reveal it to use with.
my drink's over and I don't know if I should have another, considering that it's 7 am
the tenderness with which he looks at Zoya and takes her hand and then when he says 'I shall relax when I have Alina' makes me believe more that the man that is reduced to tears time and again in front of Alina could in fact be the master manipulator I know him to be
god I can't wait for Zoya's character arc
'I speak six languages, it's part of my job' why is Nina literally the fucking coolest
Alina blinding the oprichniki was so hot, I can't wait to see more of her power and her ruthlessness
I know I've said it before but good god is Jessie Mei Li gorgeous
HER LITTLE SMILE AMONGST ALL THE PANIC AS SOON AS SHE SEES MAL, THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHOW TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY
THE SCORE COMING IN AT THE RIGHT MOMENT, THEIR HANDS MEETING, HER SMILE AGAIN DHDHSBSNSNSNSNAN IM IN PAIN
REALLY?! YOU'RE GONNA GO DIRECTLY FROM MALINA TO HELNIK WITH NO CONCERN FOR MY HEART?
I simply cannot get over Calahan's accent lmao it's really funny
'im not afraid of you' he says to the insanely gorgeous girl with magic
HIM HANGING HIS HEAD IN DEFEAT TO INDICATE NINA HAS MADE VALID POINTS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CAN'T BREATHE
'You're just a man. Like all the others.' she says and then forgets her train of thought looking at him as he strips. god I love this
not sleeping all night and then scotch is not a good idea, I think
'I promise not to ravish you' 'I hate the way you talk' her hand on his chest, his hand gripping hers, my fucking heart feels like it's about to explode
good god these shooting locations and sets are so beautiful
Alina throwing the flask at Mal and Mal going 'OI!' I fucking can't, I guess I am a
simp for childhood friends to lovers, give me more of that banter and childhood friend energy, I am thriving
wow it literally seems like they took book! Mal sl*tshaming book! Alina and made show! Alina sl*tshame show! Mal, hmm, interesting
'They would have split us up!' MAL'S LITTLE SMILE AT THIS, and the 'You wrote me letters?' Mal's nod, the Malina yearning stare, the Malina hug, 'thank you for finding me' 'always. I'll always find you.' NO MALINA YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE MADE ME ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FERAL
I understand they had to split time between my ravkan babies and the crows and that is why there were several aspects that were sort of not reflected on enough but Alina's training at the Little Palace, Alina's cut, Mal's personality, a teensy bit of backstory for the crows, maybe one lockpicking scene from my boy Kaz
random note: we have far too many idols and paintings and pictures and whatnot of Hindu deities in our house apart from the specially designed temple (we are Hindus, so maybe it's not that weird but it's a little weird)
Kaz's cane is a literal star, it's so beautiful my heart wants to explode
'Why would Heleen get the Crow Club?' *literally fucking gets up and walks aways instead of answering the fucking question* I LITERALLY CAN'T BREATHE I'M LOSING MY MIND
'I know that voice' WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO MAKE ME FIGHT FOR PLATONIC SHIPS IN FANDOMS
'We won't starve' omg get you someone who packs food for you when you go on the run together hiding from your ex who wants to capture you and use your powers as a weapon against your consent
Mal looking surprised at her summoning sunlight, Alina looking cautiously at him waiting for him to disapprove or run for the hills in fear or smth like that, 'I'm sorry it took me this long to see you... But I see you now' my dumb little shipper trash heart ouch
they really said we're gonna feed you this part asian couple as the protagonists in this show in 2021 and guess what I'm eating it's really tasty I'm very satisfied as a south asian
NINA'S LITTLE SMILE WHEN MATTHIAS WAKES UP WITH HIS ARM AROUND HER
'I can feel how much you hate sleeping next to me' 👀👀👀 BITCH SAID IMMA SPILL THE TEA AND THEN SHE DID
it's 8 am and guess what I'm getting another drink my parents have c*vid and are in govt qu*r*ntine centres there is nobody to supervise or stop me
I too say 'Why do you have to say things like that?' to my pretty crush when she flirts with me
Nina smiling at Matthias bragging about his conservative ways is my aesthetic
'No, it's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall and yet, oh, there you stand.' MY FUCKING QUEEN
Matthias laughing uncontrollably at Nina saying something which isn't even that funny is a whole ass vibe
Kaz Brekker saying 'The Black General' ooh fuck yeah
YESSSS STEP OUT OF THAT CARRIAGE ALL SEXY BLACK GENERAL
isn't alcohol supposed to like kill germs? well, the amount in my system definitely will
I love my crows so much (always but this time particularly for setting that alarm in the stolen carriage)
ooh Polina recognising Inej by the knife yesss let's go writers
this Ivan Jesper showdown is all I needed from life and yet did not know about
Ivan taking off his cloak was, um, sexier than I wanted it to be
I just realised how thirsty I am going to sound in this post
'Has no one told you that keftas are Fabrikator-made and resistant to bullets, hmm?' 'Oh, I do love a challenge' LITERALLY EVERYTHING
im sorry to be pointing out flaws in a perfect show and adaptation but the line delivery on 'You robbed me of my brother, now I'll rob you of your life' from Polina was kind of weak
'You're a-' *gets knocked out with the back of a gun* LMAO we love the hints
got excited at the prospect of kaz v. zoya until I realised they will not be letting the opportunity of kaz v. darkling pass up
my goodness is Amita Suman a splendid actress
I AM NOT KIDDING WHEN I TELL YOU I SQUEALED WHEN I SAW DARKLES EMERGE OUT OF THE SHADOWS IN FRONT OF MY BABY BOY KAZ
THERE BEING ACTUAL FEAR OR ATLEAST DOUBT ON KAZ'S FACE, THE LITTLE BACK STEPS AS
THE DARKLING WALKS TOWARDS HIM, AAAAH I CAN'T
THE DARKLING STOPPING AT KAZ SAYING 'SHE FLED ON HER OWN' AND THE HINT OF TEARS THAT WE SEE IN HIS EYES
'IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR SHE WASN'T INTERESTED IN BEING A CAPTIVE ANYMORE' YOU TELL HIM, KING
*ACTUAL FUCKING TEARS IN THE DARKLING'S EYES AS THE SHADOWS APPROACH*
NOT ME YOWLING LIKE A HYENA THAT THIS CHILD OUTSMARTED THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN EXISTENCE WITH A FAKE MAGIC TRICK
'Are you sure you added enough cloves?' literally warranting a wide ass smile from my queen Alina making my entire fucking day
for some reason, no matter how much I push it from my mind, Ben Barnes dressed up as the Darkling, dancing to 'push it' keeps coming to mind, it's absolutely ridiculous
I got somehow distracted with interviews but good things came out of that as it gave my body the time for the booze to kick in
and I would just like to say that I love Leigh for all she has given me
Alina is so fucking compassionate, I have no much love for her. I can feel her guilt and her sorrow as Mal talks of Mikhail and Dubrov
don't particularly like how the stag plotline is woven in, could have been executed better
'You're afraid you might start to like me?' *flaps furs like a bird's wings in frustration*
'I DO like you' my fucking heart you idiots
the sexual tension is so palpable and the moment is so intimate I simply cannot
OMG SHE FUCKING FELL
that moment where you think he might let her fall despite having read the books and he doesn't and he tells her his name I- <3
YOU DARE TRANSITION FROM A HELNIK SCENE TO A KANEJ SCENE YOU REALLY HAVE NO MERCY FOR MY HEART HUH
people have talked about this endlessly but Freddie's little jaw tic after he says Inej because Inej is wounded and he can't physically bring himself to help her I fucking cannot
THE MUSIC PICKING UP AS KAZ LOOKS TO THE DARKLING'S CARRIAGE I CAN'T WITH THIS SHOW ANYMORE
and now for one of my favorite scenes in television and cinematic history, David Kostyk throwing a book at Jesper Fahey without even knowing who he is merely because he opens the door of his carriage and says hello to him before getting knocked out by Kaz Brekker while trying to run away
Immediately followed by another, the scene with David Kostyk raising his finger to put forward his point in front of the Darkling and the Darkling trying to let him know he doesn't have to before obliging is one of my favourite scenes in the world
also sir please stop being devastatingly attractive in your glorious appearance with your face and your black kefta and cloak because all that comes to mind is Ayesha Erotica's Emo Boy and I'm afraid that is terribly inappropriate.
'No, you look great.' *literally looks down from embarrassment or blushing* MALINA RIGHTS?
THE LOOK ON THE DARKLING'S FACE BEFORE HE SAYS 'NO ORDINARY TRACKER, NO ORDINARY GIRL' BITCH IM OUT OF BREATH
'ORPHANS OF KERAMZIN, REUNITED.' 'ADORABLE.' HE FUCKING SNEERED IRL I FUCKING CANNOT
GOD IT'S SO GOOD
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mycolorscheme · 3 years
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SHADOW AND BONE EPISODE 1-3 SPOILERS + THE GRISHA TRILOGY & SIX OF CROWS DUOLOGY SPOILERS
don’t read this if you haven’t watched !!!
okay okay slightly disorganized thoughts after the first three shadow and bone episodes (these are only positive comments)
the crows:
i like how they’ve handled jesper’s gambling addiction, including both the way he in a way tries to cover it up (shame?) and both kaz’s knowledge and exasperation regarding it
INEJ JESPER FRIENDSHIP OMGGG
and how she was willing to trust him enough to ask him to kill for her
i love how kaz is so tense all the time
inej’s reaction to hearing about the sun summoner was so,, wow. it was just really beautifully done.
jesper cuddling the goat :’) it makes you remember how he grew up on a farm
KAZ’S HATRED FOR PEKKA ROLLINS AND HIS NEED FOR REVENGE AND HOW INEJ IS NOTICING HOW DEEP ALL OF THIS RUN
skljfd
okay OH MY GOD jesper’s sharpshooter skills are 100000x more impressive when you see it
THE TRAIN SCENE???? OH MY FUCKING GOD?????
AND NINA
NINA
she’s so spunky i love it
oh to be flirted with by nina zenik
but the little things in all of this
the plate of food in her room :’)
i really appreciate how kaz and inej’s friendship(?) was done and that they don’t completely agree with each other and don’t always see eye to eye but yet there’s a level of caring
you can tell how much inej 
INEJ’S KNIVES OH MY GOD
ESPECIALLY THE HAIR ONE
and jesper’s guns !!! eee
gah
i love them all so much
the amount of serotonin they are bringing me rn
jesper’s personality reeee and we’re slowly seeing a deeper side to him
i wonder if his zemini culture will be brought up at all and if we’ll ever find out at all that he’s grisha
IN GENERAL I’VE BEEN PRONOUNCING GRISHA WRONG I THOUGHT IT WAS AN IH SOUND IT’S AN EE SOUND
i really want to know if jesper has a crush on kaz at this point or if that develops later because i personally feel as if when you like someone, you’re more willing to do things for them (even if they’re pretty unreasonable requests)
inej’s unwillingness to kill but the way she almost did in order to gain that freedom
DID INEJ EVER MENTION A BROTHER IN THE BOOKS
I DON’T THINK SHE DID BUT
OH MY GOD
poor girl
and the (understandable) fury she carries for those who sell people
did kaz sell shares for the crow club or ??? what was that anyways
speaking of which
WHEN MAL’S FRIEND WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW WE DO FOOLISH THINGS FOR THE PERSON CLOSEST TO US AND IT TRANSITIONED FROM MAL TO KAZ MAKING A DEAL WITH TANTE HELEEN
i hope we get to see inej kaz and jesper meet nina in this
i love seeing how inej’s religion is a part of her and affects her in such great senses and it was cool to see the conductor talk to her about it
asfdfjkl it’s kind of nice (humbling, in a weird sense?) to see that kaz is human and doesn’t always win fights (as opposed to fanon kaz who the darkling wouldn’t stand a chance against)
inej’s wraithiness is so cool
alina and the rest:
okay i’ll be honest i forgot how cute mal and alina were at the beginning
THE START OF ALINA AND GENYA’S FRIENDSHIP
the mal zoya chemistryyyy i can’t wait till that one fight between mal and alina later on
THE DREAM ABOUT THE STAG that one scene is so beautiful
JUST
EVERYTHING WITH THE FIELD
and all the orphanage scenes
they were such babies aww
BAGHRA AHHHH
and omg omg marie and nadia
also ivan at the beginning traitorous bitch
i won’t lie i completely forgot about the apparat before this and yup he’s creepy (which is good, adaptaion-wise, but it also makes me extremely uncomfortable and i am incredibly glad i am not alina)
i don’t know how much of this is because i’ve read all the books and know how it turns out, but all the darkling & alina scenes make me so uncomfortable
i know that until that dance scene i never truly thought too much of it while reading but now i’m seeing all the signs
i also forgot they didn’t call him by the darkling all along
General Kirigan
all the actors/actresses are so good but jessie mei li,,, her expressions add so much character to alina and it’s truly amazing
i just
i can’t help but feel for her
i really like the whole letter to mal narration interspersed throughout
i love the parallels with them running away and the field and them lying in the field to lying on the ship to lying on their respective beds while apart
i really like how they joked around with each other too
i can’t wait to meet david
i have been pronouncing vasily wrong
you know the seven deadly sins
yeah
i think the king and queen of ravka are a good visual example of that
GENYA’S COMMENT ABOUT THE QUEEN’S SAGGY TITS DJSKH
there’s probably more but this is all i can think of and getting it all out was really nice
if you’ve made it this far, here’s a shameless plug to my six of crows playlist hehe: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Yh4N9LRJ3yV2CiYdTuTL2?si=bT0I5on3T2uvBiG6uNFrrQ
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fenixburnedarchived · 2 years
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Matthias + the other crows
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I’ve been thinking about this for so long & Rooney’s post rearding Nina’s relationship with the other crows inspired me to do one for Matthias, so here we go! 
Kaz : They are pretty much polar opposites in their convictions, especially in the beginning. Matthias is all about honour and righteousness, while Kaz is outwardly driven by greed and perfidy, so exactly what Matthias despises. And yet I feel like as he experiences K.etterdam (& Hellgate) Matthias begins to understand, that you have to be at least a bit like Kaz to survive & he adapts accordingly (”trickery is not my native tongue but I may learn to speak it yet”). I feel like there’s just a mutual respect forming between them & that’s the foundation of how their relationship might progress. He will still always call him demjin, thank you very much. 
Inej : Lbr Matthias has been drinking his respect Inej juice ever since that moment on the boat after the escape from prison. He instantly recognizes that he underrestimated this girl & that this is a mistake he won’t make again. What really makes them click is their strong faith in their respective gods, because this is something the others don’t understand. I feel like Inej is (with Wylan) one of the people Matthias warms up to quickest. Matthias sees how she’s the glue that keeps the group together & that’s why he immediately jumps in during c.k & insists that they can’t abandon her (& obviously because he deeply cares about her at this point). I think they are the type of friends who can spends hours sitting together with different tasks & simply enjoy the company in comfortable silence. 
Wylan : It’s quite clear in Matthias’ early chapters that he feels sympathy for Wylan. They’ve both been thrown into this world more by force than not and often have difficulties understanding it. I’m sad there aren’t many scenes with them, because I feel like they really bonded. Also Wylan sometimes reminds him of the younger sister that he lost. Frida would’ve been about his age & naturally Matthias begins to feel quite protective of Wylan because of that. 
Jesper : Their very different personalities naturally make them clash (similiar to Nina tbh), but in the end they really work well together and Matthias begins to appreciate Jesper’s warm presence & his humour (sometimes). An important element is also Jesper’s influence in Matthias unlearning the hatred towards g.risha. I made a whole post about that here, but Jesper is such a different case to Nina, because Matthias didn’t meet him as a f.abrikator, he saw him as companion just like the others and that plays a big part in the whole process to humanize grisha. Also I love that scene with them & Kuwei fighting on the island so much and it highlights how well they can work as a team. Matthias having a lil g.risha army was just 👌
Kuwei : another g.risha friend!! I mean, the fact that Matthias, the former g.risha hunter, stopped Nina from killing him in s.oc speaks volumes. I think for Matthias Kuwei is a way to make something right, a small step to undoing the damage done by him & the d.rüskelle. So he wants to get that boy to safety, give him a life, after so many other had to lose theirs. also I love that he values his opinion & asks for his input when it comes to the whole parem issue & how to help Nina. 
Nina : I don’t think I need to say much about Nina, as this is the most discussed relationship. He loves her beyond measure & reason, he lives & would die for her. ok thanks. 
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doorsclosingslowly · 3 years
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This Is the Time of Our Great Undoing
“Do you think Kaz could fuck someone in a full-body bondage suit?” Jesper whispers, more to distract Inej from what’s on the screen than anything else, but still—the idea won’t leave Kaz alone.
5.8k | modern AU | Kaz[/&]Jesper, part of a polycule
content note: despite the premise this is about cuddling, gambling addiction and existing during climate change
It starts the way most things used to start: with all of them piled onto ancient couches on the fifth floor of an otherwise empty building on the edge of Amsterdam, also called the Slat. These days, it’s harder and harder to get everyone together. Nina and Matthias are both in Rotterdam now, doing associate degrees that Kaz doesn’t care about. Wylan’s got room and board and a plan for the future and a social worker, and she already disapproves of Jesper as a bad influence so it’s not worth it, generally, for Wylan to come back to his old squat and hang out with the whole gang of ex- and current reprobates.
And Inej—fuck, Kaz wishes she was just a little less righteous, less concerned with how the world’s going to shit. She’s faced off against more cops now than he has, probably. Water cannons and charging horses and riot shields. She knows criminals all over the country, Europe, probably the world—but they’re the kind of criminals with morals and worthless targets, with bandanas and badly sewn patches, who will talk about Federici and sea levels and the Invisible Committee and use value if you don’t leave quickly enough. The kind that live on trees, as Inej’s going to do in a few days. The kind that don’t make any money. The kind that have even less of a chance of making it out of a job alive and free than Kaz does—and with the enemies she’s talking about, politicians, banks, Shell, he doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to extort her out of jail next time.
For now, though, they’re all together in the big room, watching some ancient movie on the massive 8k screen with mood lighting, etc, the works, that’s in the Slat courtesy of some MediaMarkt manager desperate enough to save her marriage to bribe Kaz into silence, but not so desperate she wouldn’t fuck two other women in the breakroom.
It’s impossible to know whose fault it is that they’re currently watching Pulp Fiction.
Kaz is inclined to blame Jesper, because most things are his fault in some way or another, and he’s supplying the login data for an old uni flatmate’s streaming accounts, which is where they found that film, front and centre, paid to rent until tomorrow. Who even pays for films? If that’s the calibre of people they send to university these days, it’s no wonder the planet’s going to the dogs. Jesper, though, swears he wanted to watch some goofy horror flick, so he’s splitting the blame with Nina and Matthias: Matthias, for growing up in a cult and having never heard of what’s apparently a film classic and mentioning that to Nina, who of course cooed over her boyfriend and insisted on it, even though actually none of them have watched it before either so it’s not like it’s an important cinematic milestone. Or just not b horror, crime, some weird arthouse thing with complicated morality… It’s weird and has crime but there is nothing to figure out, so Kaz is bored. It’s Inej’s fault, because instead of vetoing it she said yes, just because she has a heart-shaped soft spot for Nina. Wylan could have done his oh I’m still an innocent barely-two-years not a minor this looks bloody thing, and Kaz might not even have mocked him this time if he'd insisted on Jesper’s pick instead just so he could hide in Jesper’s arms for the most minor decapitations.
Jesper’s been talking through the whole film. Kaz got used to that a long time ago: the landing and failing of small non-sequitur jokes like rain against the window, whispered to Wylan who’s cuddled into his side on the left, or to Inej who’s burrowing under Jesper’s outstretched right arm. Sometimes Jesper thinks a quip will land better with Nina, so he shouts it over to the futon where she and Matthias are always just shy of engaging in heavy petting, and the really mean and bleak jokes he saves for when he’s made eye contact with Kaz.
Now, though: in this scene Mr Motorcycle and the gang boss are captured in a pawnshop and dragged into the basement, and Gang Boss gets raped. Inej’s hand is white-knuckled on Jesper’s arm, and Jesper’s talking non-stop. He’s talking about the flooding, and asking whether Inej thinks Doggerland will happen again but here, soon, you can never know when the scientists are so wrong about the speed of climate change, and apparently it all flooded in a day because something broke off Norway, and then he abruptly pivots to some demo where he bashed in a shop window and got new shoes, and then if she’s got dates for more street fights because then he’s in but please, don’t trick me into another book club, I don’t care about why the cops are bad I already know I just want to hit them—not topics Kaz would have chosen, exactly, but he’s rooted in his red leather armchair off to the side, not even able to hold her for comfort, not like Jes does now, and why didn’t they think to look up the content beforehand, why did they assume it was tame just because it’s an old film—and then, long after it’s over, Jesper idly asks, “Do you think Kaz could fuck someone in a full-body bondage suit?”
Wylan groans. Kaz wishes a sound existed that could express his own current emotion.
“You saw the guy, right?” Jesper turns over to Wylan, while still stroking Inej’s hair. “There was no skin on him. All leather. And that’s the trigger, so—might solve all our problems. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before!”
“I don’t see a huge difference,” Nina snipes. “Kaz is already in all-black, with gloves. Though I guess, that hood would hide his atrocious haircut…”
“Stop being so mean to Kaz, Jesper,” Matthias mumbles. “Although he does deserve it.”
Kaz downs his entire glass of vodka. When he tops his drink up for the second time—he exed the first refill right in the kitchen—he brings the bottle and some maracuja juice over and refills Jesper’s, too, because Jesper’s been anxiously glancing over at him, every moment he thinks Kaz has turned his head away, since he shot his stupid mouth off and actually, it’s—Kaz isn’t thinking about it now but it just might—maybe it could work—well, he fills up the glass to stop Jesper from worrying himself into yet another mental crisis and also so he can bend over Jesper’s ear and whisper lovingly, “I’m going to make the leather for the suit out of your skin.”
“We should look for an Ed Gein film next!” Jesper laughs, much more brightly than the joke warrants, and Kaz refuses to interpret the look on his face.
+
By the time Kaz gets back to the Slat, on a day roughly three months later, it’s long past two in the morning. He’s in a foul mood: of course Haskell won’t even reimburse him for the taxi he had to take because he missed the last metro. Of course he just told Kaz to take a night bus. Haskell won’t even apologize for the last minute details he wants included in his casino’s tax returns. The old man’s not even mentally capable of understanding the extra work he caused. Yes, Kaz is good at filing taxes creatively, exactly tailored for the business to pay nothing whatsoever and meticulous enough to never arouse any suspicion, but that takes work. Things have to balance. Haskell thinks Kaz just has to press a button, and that he’s paying Kaz so he doesn’t have to press the button himself, and that it’s only worth it because he doesn’t want to sully his mind with ‘the Spreadsheet Program’. Which is also why he’s loaning Kaz out to a friend of his, which he just remembered to mention today, for that guy’s mattress store slash money laundering business, so that’s even more work for nowhere near enough money.
Sometimes, Kaz amuses himself with the idea of sneaking in small ‘mistakes’. Enough for even the stupidest tax official to unravel the whole sordid scheme and land Haskell in prison for tax fraud, whereupon he’ll also be discovered to be involved with drug smuggling, blackmail, murder, … none of which will ever trace back to Kaz. But the one time he was livid enough to try, nothing happened. He’ll never manage to plunge the true depths of stupidity of an average bureaucrat, apparently, and is thus doomed to failure.
And anyway, it’s good regular money for little work. Usually. He can’t really complain. Especially not to his friends, because three are going legit, Inej will just rant about the uselessness of defrauding the Belastingdienst for a few measly million euros a year when the world’s being set on fire every day, and Jesper’ll tell him to quit, again, because they live in a squat after all. It’s not like they’re paying rent. Jesper’s never heard of forethought, or gratitude. He doesn’t know how many of his bills Kaz has paid off.
Kaz’s leg aches after the climb to the third story. Two more to go. As usual, right at this point he remembers the joke Jesper made eight months ago about fooling someone into installing a stair lift, and as usual, he dismisses it in disgust after two more steps. Stomps harder on the next flight of stairs, with grim satisfaction at the shooting pains in his knee. He doesn’t need help. He doesn’t need to move to a house with a working lift, and he doesn’t need a stair lift, either. Fuck you, Jesper. I’m the actual functional adult with a job in this household. I don’t need a stair lift.
That’s what he would throw at Jesper’s head, but it’s nearly three o’clock, and Jesper’s probably out. Over at Wylan’s, if he knows what’s good for him, but given how evasive he’s been all week, how manic… Inej’s still camping high up in some forest to save the frogs or something, but no news there is supposed to be good news. If the cops had chucked her off a tree house, it would have been on tv. About everything else, he can worry after he’s slept.
He doesn’t bother with the lights in his room. The streetlight coming in through his open curtains is more than enough, and anyway, he found the empty tenement he turned into the Slat five years ago, fully moved down here three years ago when he met Jesper, and he knows every single thing in his room by heart. The antique dresser he made Jesper and Matthias carry up with the threat of cutting off a finger for every scratch it received is next to the door, the place where he leaves his gloves and wallet and phone and cane. The coat rack beside it, where the hangers for his suit are, then the hamper, and at the foot of his bed the long black linen nightgown that Jesper’s never, ever allowed to see, and—
There’s a black shape on top of his bedcovers, Kaz realizes when he’s pulled on his nightgown.
Kaz takes his cane back. He hasn’t made any new enemies recently as far as he’s aware—none who know his name—but he was careless, brutal, desperate when he was a lone kid getting by on the streets, and those victims had gangs, families, business partners. Just because no-one’s ever traced little Kazzie the bastard rabid dog back to the Slat-that-wasn’t-then doesn’t mean a thing. The fact that the friends he started collecting press-ganged him into doing more behind-the-scenes embezzlement and fewer turf wars because ‘they’re watching us, they have all our faces and fingers and DNA on file and cameras everywhere and did you hear about that informer having kids with the activist he spied on?’ or the more pragmatic, ‘If you don’t stop fucking up your leg on purpose I’m going to send you to a kink party you fucking masochist’…
None of it means safety, not really, and Kaz is glad he’s alone now. They’ve all moved on, and even Jes… well, if he’d been here tonight then the whole squat would be trashed because Jesper doesn’t come quietly. And now, if he comes back to find Kaz gone or his throat slit… Jesper’s going to fucking collapse. He’s been one phone call away from going hysteric all week. Who knows, though—he has Wylan now, and maybe it’ll be the push he needed, the path none of them could ever find, to get his life back on a solid track.
All of that is presupposing that Kaz loses, of course.
And he does not intend to.
The weird black ninja on Kaz’ bed hasn’t reacted yet. They’re curled into a foetal position and they’re snuffling, quietly, because they’re asleep.
Not even assassins dressed up as b movie henchmen expect the toll taken by Per Haskell’s technical naïveté and utter disrespect for Kaz’ work-life balance, apparently. He got back home so late he missed his own murder. Well, then. Kaz hasn’t tortured anyone in two years and he may be out of practice, but the films he’s been forced to watch in the meantime have, if anything, made him more creative. He’ll teach them not to underestimate the brutality of Kaz Brekker, even when he’s moved up a few rungs in the ladder of Amsterdam’s underworld and landed a desk job.
He’ll—but Kaz hasn’t had to stalk silently towards his prey in two years, either. He’s underestimated the extent to which his lame leg’s gotten worse.
Also, someone’s pulled a box out from under his bed.
Kaz stumbles, and in the split-second before he catches himself on the edge of the mattress he wonders—will they have a gun? I can still bash them in the head before they fire, I haven’t gone that soft—and then the would-be assassin stretches out their lanky body as they wake up.
With their arms raised over their head, Kaz can see the bright white light of the street lanterns outside reflect off the gleaming black PVC fabric they’re wearing. Sleek and skin-tight, no ornamentation except a few steel buttons glinting at the crotch, and a full-cover leather hood over their face adorned with one-euro-sized rivets at the jaw, the forehead, the bridge of the nose, the large buckle around the neck. More buckles, at the back of the head and hanging off the right side at eye-height. The open silver zipper at the mouth reflects the streetlight, too, as does the padlock that hangs off it.
Oh no. Kaz knows that mask. Not even shoving it all the way back to the furthest corner under his bed allowed him to forget the way it looks.
Oh no.
Jesper yawns loudly. “Morning, boss. Evening. One of those. I thought you were finishing work early?”
“Haskell had some last-minute revisions to his tax returns.” Kaz sighs. “Don’t cook tomorrow. I’ll be out late for the whole next week—don’t expect me before three am. New client. I need to create a whole year’s documentations from scratch.”
“Just fuck him over, boss. He doesn’t appreciate you, and you don’t need the money. We live in a fucking squat.”
Sweet, financially illiterate nuisance Jesper, who probably doesn’t even know what that awful mistake he’s dressed in right now cost. The thing he’s dressed in. Which was hidden under Kaz’ bed. In Kaz’ room. Which they are inside right now. “You broke into my room,” Kaz rasps. “Again.”
“You know, Kaz,” Jesper replies with poorly feigned innocence, ”this thing is a little big for you. Fits me pretty well, though.”
“I told you I don’t keep cash under my bed. I told you that, the last time you tried to steal from me to pay off your gambling debts. I like my room organized as it is, and so I don’t keep any money here. Not under the bed, not in the wardrobe. And you won’t find any of my actual caches, because I’m smarter than you.”
“You’ve lied to me before.”
“You’ve stolen from me before. Remember last year? Remember you made Inej cry? I though you were clean. I thought you promised Wylan, when you asked him out, that you were done gambling. Maybe we all had too much trust in you.”
Jesper pulls his PVC-clad shoulders up to his en-leathered ears: a ridiculous sight, and Kaz doesn’t know what’s worse. That a bondage sex slave could actually look this dejected and humiliated and alone, or that Jesper does. He’s almost ready to call off the assault. It took a while to figure out, but as usual Inej was probably right, because she’s been researching and discussing the mental health industrial complex in general, and the traumatizing nature of modern life, with her comrades. Even though Kaz is neither the kind of person to touch people with kid gloves, and nor does he like thinking of Jesper as someone who needs that kind of handling—when Jesper’s in a shame spiral this deep then any criticism will drive him even deeper into the arms of the next casino. So the adrenaline and dopamine can wipe out everything else, or to feed his self-loathing even more by being exactly the person he’s terrified people think he is—Jes couldn’t quite explain it himself during the Intervention, except that everything is too much sometimes, even more too much and faster than usual.
He’s a pitiful creature. Kaz almost has pity. Then, though—
“It’s not working, boss. I know why you’re reminding me I fucking relapsed, again, and tried to steal from my best friend, again, and that I’m going to beg you to lie to Wy, again, but I still haven’t forgotten I’m wearing a bondage suit that you’ve been keeping under your bed for—two months now, is it?”
It’s just one month, actually. The manufacture and shipping took six whole weeks.
Two can play that game. Kaz might be very slightly embarrassed, but Jesper’s relapsed into the combination of addiction, theft and deceit that destroyed his life three years ago, and nearly did so again, two-and-a-half years ago and one year ago. “Careful. I haven’t even yet agreed to lie to Wylan, Jesper. About your problem. That you promised you’d tell him about.”
“Also, I notice it fits me, not Inej. Not Nina. Not Matthias. Not even Haskell, I bet. Me. Almost like it was made for me.”
Kaz ignores his insinuations. The answer’s obvious, anyway: yes, he did take clothes from the main washing pile in Jesper’s room and measured them. Yes, he used the measurements when he ordered a bondage suit. Yes, that’s creepy. Yes, a decent person would have asked. No, he’s not sorry. Jesper knew who Kaz was when he moved in with him. And it’s not like Kaz is the one who’s really at fault here. If Jesper just stopped gambling, he’d never have found out.
“Even attempted theft is illegal, Jesper. Completed robbery is worse. I cover my tracks, but you… you should be careful what you say now. They’re still looking for whoever robbed that jeweller last year.”
“Inej’s gonna cut off your head if you try. It’s like you never read her hoodies. All cats are beautiful, et cetera, Kaz. Thirteen-twelve. Keep up.”
Sometimes, the only thing that keeps Kaz from tossing Jesper out of the Slat is that Inej hates landlords and landlord-adjacents just as much as the pigs. If only he’d known back when he let the drunk penniless fancy uni boy who jumped into a fight to defend Kaz from some thugs—a fight Kaz would have won regardless—if only he’d known, before he let Jesper crash on his floor for a night or two, where all of this would end. “I’ll never mention anything about tonight again if you don’t either. Forget it. It was a bad idea. A failed plan. That’s all.”
“Without even trying it?”
“I will zip your mouth shut,” Kaz rasps. “I’ll lock it. I’ll throw the key into the harbour. Fuck you.”
Jesper, though, somehow got even mouthier when he put the bondage suit on. Less respectful. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. “Come on, Kaz,” he wheedles. “I put it on, right? So I’m fine with it, if you’re worried. Aren’t you curious? If our places had been reversed—well, if you’d found it in my room you’d have murdered me, so we’re not exactly identical, but still. Come on, sit down next to me. This is—PVC right? Good job choosing me. Inej would hate it. So much plastic.”
“It’s less like skin than leather.”
“Not complaining, Kaz. I have some juice with a straw over there to keep me hydrated in case I sweat like a pig, but I haven’t, yet. I can probably camp out in this for a few more hours.” He tries a patented Jesper I’m flirting in an over the top way to make you laugh which is my flirting style for when I’m genuinely worried about the reaction because this way I can pass off exasperation and mockery as the response I intended look, probably with fluttering eyes, but since Kaz can barely make them out through those open zippers and the rest of his face is a complete mystery, it falls flat. It looks ridiculous, though, so it also works, and Jesper has the nerve of complaining about Kaz’ eight-dimensional chess plans. He’s worse. He’s worse, and animated by Jesper’s ridiculous, familiar movements the bondage suit doesn’t look like a pathetic attempt anymore. Not like the desperation of an emotional cripple. It just looks like Jesper, with an extra layer on his skin. Jesper, probably making a duckface, purring, “Don’t you think I’m sexy?”
Kaz looks away. “Are you serious right now?”
“Of course,” Jesper replies instantly, as if there was never any reason to doubt him. As if he doesn’t blame Kaz for doubting, simultaneously. As if Kaz is allowed to try. To fail. To fuck up, risk hurting him. There is a reason why Kaz never even considered someone else for the suit. “Come on, get on the bed.”
“We have to talk with Inej first. And with Wylan.”
“One-track mind,” Jesper replies, and just like that Kaz is ready to murder him again. “We’re not fucking. We’re not doing more than normal, except maybe touch. We don’t even know yet whether this helps you. I’m not risking it. We’ll just try touching, and if you think it’s triggering, we stop. We’ve got all the time in the world to work up to more. Until this city sinks into the ocean and the grid collapses from heat, which might be tomorrow, so. Or the fascists win.”
“You’ve been listening to Inej.”
“I do try to keep up.”
“Well, stop. Or listen more carefully, until the end, when she gets to the doomerism is the opiate of the masses part.”
“Just get on the bed, Kaz.”
Kaz puts his bent good knee onto the mattress and pulls himself over to Jesper. The fabric of his linen smock rubs against his heated skin: not like corpses, not like that, not like Jordie and he won’t even think about him or this will be over but—it just feels like his own familiar coarse age-softened nightgown that Jesper hasn’t even made fun of yet, his thin nightgown that in a second will be one of only two layers between him and Jesper.
He rolls over so he can sit down next to Jesper, at first. Daringly, he leans an arm against his best—well, they’ll figure that out later.
“Okay?” Jesper asks. He has to crane his head a lot to look through the thin eye slits of his bondage mask at Kaz’ face, and even then he’s probably mostly seeing the gleaming teeth of the eyehole zippers. And still he leans forward forty-five degrees and twists his torso and neck so he can look up into Kaz’ face, carefully keeping the arm that’s touching Kaz as motionless as possible, because he’s being careful with Kaz. Kaz has told him a thousand times he hates being coddled. He’s not a poor little abused dog, he’s a vicious murderer who destroyed his leg and his ability to be close to people while he was murdering, that’s all he ever told Jesper. That lie. And yet—even if he’s only fooling himself because this scene is so patently ridiculous, and the psych ward he got sent to once for the crime of rough sleeping while underage would stamp every single thing about what they’re doing as deeply unhealthy, and he can’t see Jesper’s soft concerned expression under the hood… Whatever it is, Kaz feels warm all over. He feels good. Safe.
Jesper can tell, apparently. “Want to touch my chest? Or climb into my lap?”
Kaz moves over, carefully smoothing down his nightgown before he sits down on Jesper, angled so he can lean with his left arm pressed against Jesper’s chest. It’s safer, somehow, than giving him the back, but perhaps someday…
Jesper loosely wraps his arms around Kaz. They’re just there, barely touching, the hands lax on top of Kaz’ right knee. You can leave at any time, they say, I’ll let go as soon as you’re uncomfortable, and Kaz would have known that regardless. Jesper’s never usually this still, unless he’s lost in concentration: and Kaz, who’s seen how gambling can destroy someone’s life, how it is currently destroying someone’s life, would still bet everything he has ever owned that Jesper’s concentrating on every single aspect of Kaz’ body language right now.
It’s not necessary, though. Those hands are gleaming black PVC. They don’t look or feel anything like Kaz’ memories.
He drops his own naked right hand onto Jesper’s gloved one. Joins them. Anchors Jesper. “How much do you owe this time, Jes?”
A beat. Jesper’s face drops down towards Kaz’ lap. Trying to hide his shame, and he’s forgotten that he’s wearing a full bondage mask, that Kaz can barely make out his eyes through the slits of the zippers. If he’s trying to deny everything, Kaz will just beat it out of him. He’s done it before. A year ago, when it was bad, but Jesper promised he got it under control. But Jesper’s promises were never worth much, not for this. If they were, they’d never have met.
“Four grand.”
“To?”
“Tom Geels. One of Big Bol’s old friends—”
“So he put you up to—”
“I was already playing when he walked up to me, Kaz,” Jesper grinds out. Aware that he could save himself from at least a little of Kaz’ disappointment by casting Bollinger as the tempter. Simultaneously aware that Kaz promised to feed Bollinger to a marine propeller last year if he ever took Jesper gambling again. Noble, to try and save Bollinger’s life—or to save Kaz from committing another murder—not that either of them deserves his loyalty. “I’ll pay you back, Kaz. I’ll have the money. Give me—give me half a year, Da’s still sending me—sending me rent money, Christ, he’s—I’ll save it. No, you’ll get it straight as soon as I get it, and in six months, you’re paid back in full. I promise.”
“We’ll figure it out. I have some jobs I could use you on. Nothing big. Intimidation, mostly. Some breaking, some entering. Boring stuff, not even worth mentioning to Wylan I should think.”
“Thank you.” Jesper’s forgotten all his restraint. He’s kissing Kaz’ forehead, or rather kissing the inside of his mask that’s pressed against Kaz’ forehead. He’s wrapped Kaz tightly in his long bondage arms too, painfully twisting Kaz’ shoulder and elbow and wrist because Kaz is still holding onto his hand. It’s that welcome pain, and the texture of the bondage suit that Kaz still isn’t completely used to, that keeps him from breaking Jesper’s nose. Keeps him—he isn’t back in the North Sea. He isn’t with Jordie. He should be, but he isn’t, and even if it comes…
Inej taught him about grounding. None of them trust the system as far as they can throw it, so she didn’t send him to a shrink when they started dating, unlike he feared, but—she said they helped her, those grounding exercises she found on the internet, and so Kaz has been diligently practicing breathing techniques and focusing his awareness on details of the present moment. Five things he can see: well, it’s dark, but the way what little streetlight gets through reflects off the folds of the suit on Jesper’s bowed stomach is quite interesting. His own knees. His hand, still clutching Jesper’s. The cane, on the floor. The floor. Five things he can hear: early morning traffic, Jesper’s breath, Jesper trying not to sob out loud in relief or shame or a mixture of both, the rustling of fabric, the squeaking of fabric. Five things he can feel: The old ache of his leg, always. Jesper’s hand. Jesper’s thighs. The hard buttons at the flap over Jesper’s crotch, digging into his side.
Somehow, Jesper’s noticed his shift in focus. At least he’s stopped crying now. “You know, you could have just asked how big I am if you wanted a suit with a dick pouch,” he teases in a voice that almost manages to sound happy. “I wouldn’t even have been suspicious.”
“Just because you have no boundaries, Jes, doesn’t mean I have to sink down to meet you at your level.”
Jesper takes a big breath. To forestall the whole Who bought this bondage suit argument Kaz elbows him in the stomach, hard. Once Jesper’s done coughing—a wriggling movement against Kaz’ side that he’s never even felt before—he mumbles something else, though. “I texted Da my new number. He called last week. Wanted to know how I was doing,” and oh. That makes sense. That’s what did it. “Apparently I’m graduating in seven months, according to that fake schedule you made me so I could keep my lies straight. He wants to come to the graduation. He asked me whether I have a job lined up.”
“I could hire somebody to fake you a degree,” Kaz offers. This should be Inej’s job. She shouldn’t be off somewhere, saving grasshoppers. She should be here. She’s the one who tried to talk Jesper into coming clean to his father, last year. All Kaz knows, all he has ever done, is to keep digging, and it’s worked for him. So far. “It’s all the rage now I hear. Cheap, too. No-one will find out. Just don’t become a politician in Germany.”
Jesper sighs. The air kisses the back of Kaz’ neck. “I don’t even care anymore. I could have a degree, or not, it all doesn’t matter. Universities are a scam to regulate economic class relations anyway. I don’t know that I can keep lying forever, or get a job, just so I don’t have to tell Da I betrayed him. Because nothing matters anyway. We’re collectively throwing the future down the drain. It’s not like anyone needs another mechanical engineer when we hit four degrees. I don’t know what we need. I just know everything I know is pointless.”
“I’m sure Inej can hook you up, if you want to blow up a coal power plant.”
“But what about you, then? What would you do?”
“I could have you kidnapped,” Kaz says. That’s not what Jesper meant. Kaz refuses to think about what Jesper meant. “Fake your death. Colm will be so relieved when they find you that he won’t even care you failed all your studies so you could become a live-in human blow-up doll.”
“That’ll only keep Da happy for a year at most and you know it.”
“Well, then Colm’s just going to have to get used to it. Get used to you, like we did. Real, annoying, good-for-nothing directionless screw-up Jesper.”
Jesper rubs his leathered cheek against the crown of Kaz’ head. “Fuck you. Thanks.”
Kaz runs his fingers over the squeaky PVC on Jesper’s forearms, steeling himself before he whispers idly against Jesper’s neck, “If Inej’s right about the warming and the sea level over the next decades, it won’t just be refugees from the south we’re letting drown, people it’s easy to lock out. Maybe you’re right about the Doggerland thing, and we all get flooded.” He swallows. The words are high up in his throat, trying to spew out. “Then it won’t just be one stupid child with a stupid family going out boating in the North Sea when there’s a storm coming. Not just that one kid thrown out of a sinking boat nearly drowning and clinging to his brother’s corpse. Your blow-up doll skills will be in high demand if everyone else gets triggered by skin contact too.”
Jesper, miraculously, reveals a talent Kaz didn’t even know he possessed: he shuts up. He ghosts his gloved hands over Kaz’ shoulders, and then he starts carding his fingers through Kaz’ hair. Kaz can feel the static electricity building up, the crackles and the safety, and then he realizes his eyes have drifted shut. He realizes he doesn’t know how long Jesper’s been petting him.
“Take off your hood,” he mumbles.
“Kaz?”
“Take it off. Scuttle over so your head’s on the pillow.”
Jesper obeys, like Kaz always knew he would. He looks up at Kaz with something that might be confusion but might also be—trust and deep joy and more, something Kaz can’t quite admit anymore now he’s in his bed, and Kaz puts his head down on his chest. His legs will still fit, and this way, he has the squeaky PVC right where he needs it. Squeaky, rhythmically rising warm dry plastic under him. The exact opposite of a waterlogged corpse.
“I don’t have time to call you an ambulance when you get into a bondage suit erotic asphyxiation incident, just so you know. I have a full schedule for today, remember. I’ll be at Haskell’s until after midnight. I have to break Bollinger’s thumbs. My alarm is at seven. Turn it off and I’ll send you to Colm in bite-sized pieces,” Kaz rasps, and then, with a movement that no-one would call timid if they wanted to keep their tongue attached, wraps his arms around Jesper. “You’ve kept me awake for two hours, so be a good pillow. If I kick you off the bed while I’m dozing, remember. This is your fault.”
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yukinojou · 3 years
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I already squeed quite a bit on Twitter, but turns out my Shadow and Bone thoughts demand longform. So that was a 40+ tweet thread or using my Tumblr for an original post for once.
I was wary about the Shadow and Bone adaptation the way I'm usually wary about good books being adapted onscreen. It was amplified because my actual favourites are the Six of Crows books, and because the American-based movie complex has a bad track record of doing anything based on Eastern Europe. 8 episodes in 3 days should tell you how much I loved it - the moment I finished, I wanted more.
First, the technical praise:
Damn but the plotting is tight. It took me a while to realised it's based on heist movie bones, where every little thing (The Freaking Bullet!) is important. The story fulfills its promises and manages not to bore at the same time - it delights by the way they're fulfilled. I called out a few plot developments moments before they happened, and I was happy about it. Such a joy after so many series where "not doing what viewers expect" led to plot holes and lack of sense. It might be an upside to the streaming model after all.
From a dramatic point of view I can tell all the reasons for all the changes, especially providing additional outsider points of view on Ravka (Crows) and letting viewers see Mal for themselves the way he only comes across in later books.
Speaking of which, this is a masterclass in rewriting a story draft. SaB was Bardugo's first, and having read later books you can really see where she didn't quite dare to break the YA rules yet, especially Single POV that necessitated a tight focus on Alina's often negative feelings rather than the big picture and a triangle that felt a bit forced. The world in the series is so much bigger, the way Bardugo could finally paint it when SaB success gave her more creative freedom, and some structural choices feel familiar too. It's a combination of various choices by crew and cast, but the end result meshes together so tightly and naturally.
Visuals! Especially the war parts because Every Soviet Movie Ever, but also the clothes (I would kill for Nina's blouse in the bar), the jewelry, the interiors. The stag was so very beautiful. And a deep commitment to a coherent aesthetic for each character and setting.
Look, you can do a serious fantasy series with colours! Both skin colours and bright sets and clothing! And all scenes were well lit enough to know what's going on, even in the Fold!
Representation (aka I Am Emotion)
To start with: I was born behind the Iron Curtain, in the last years of the Cold War. The Curtain was always permeable to some extent, and we have always been aware that while we have talented artists of our own, we never had the budgets and polish of the Anglosphere Entertainment Machine. So we watched a hell of a lot of American visual storytelling especially because yeah, you can tell we don't have the budgets. 90s and 2000s especially, it's getting better now.
In American stories, the BEST case scenario for Eastern European representation is the Big Dumb Pole, the ethnic stereotype Americans don't even notice they use, where the punchline is that his English is bad or that he grew up outside Anglo culture. Other than that, it's criminals, beggars, sex trafficking victims, refugees. Sure, we may look similar (except we really really don't, not if you're raised here and see the distinct lack of all those long-jawed Anglo faces), but we are not and have never been the West, never mind America. It's probably better for younger people now, but I was raised under rationing and passport bans. Star Trek and Beverly Hills 90210 were exactly as foreign to me.
The first ever character I really identified with was Susan Ivanova in Babylon 5 (written by J. Michael Straczynski, yay behind-camera representation). This was a Russian Jewish woman very much in charge, in the way of strong women I know so well, not taking any bullshit, not repressing her feminity. I recognised her bones, she could be my cousin. The sheer relief of it. There have been few such occasions since.
The reason I picked up Shadow and Bone in the first place was recommendations from other Polish people. I've had no problems finding representation in Eastern European books because wow our scene is strong in SFF especially, but it's always a treat to find a book in English that gets it. And Leigh gets it, the bones of our culture, and I could even look past the grammar issue (dear gods and Americans, Starkova for a woman, Morozov for a guy) that really irked me because of the love for the setting and the characters, the weaving in of religion/mysticism (we never laicisized the same way as the West, natch), the understanding of how deep are the scars left in a nation at war for centuries. The books are precious to me, they and Arden's Winternight and Novik's Spinning Silver.
To sum up: Shadow and Bone the Netflix series gets it. You can tell just how much they've immersed themselves in Eastern European culture and media, it comes across so well in visuals and writing and characters. Not just the obvious bits (though the WWII propaganda posters gave me a giggle), but the palaces, the additional plotlines and characters, the costumes, the attitudes. About the only thing missing in the soldier scenes was someone singing and/or quoting poetry.
I will blame the Apparat's lack of beard on filming in a non-Orthodox country. Poland's Catholic too, but I very much imagined him as an Orthodox patriarch, possibly because I read the books shortly after a visit to Pecherska Lavra in Kiev and the labyrinthine holy catacombs there. Small quibble, not my religion, not my place to speak.
(I've seen discussion on the issues with biracial representation in the show, which is visceral and apparently based on bad experiences of one of the show writers in a way that's caused pain to other Asian and biracial people. I'm not qualified to speak on those parts, other that Eastern Europe is... yeah. Racist in subtly different ways. If anything, the treatment of the Suli as explained in Six of Crows always read so very true of the way Roma are treated, and even sanitised.)
And now for the spoiler-filled bits:
Kaz and Inej. I mean... just THEM. So many props to the actors, the writers, the bloody goat.
I adore the fact the only people who get to have sex in the show are Jesper and a very lucky stablehand.
Ben Barnes needs either an award or a kick. The man's acting choices and puppy eyes are as epic as his hair.
So Much Love for Alina initiating the kiss. Her book characterisation makes sense, she's so trapped in her own head because she has no time to process everything that's happening, but grabbing life by the lapels is a much more active choice. Still not making the relationship equal, but closer to it.
Speaking of, Kaz's constant awareness of how unequal his relationship with Inej is, and attempts to give her agency. I'm really curious how his touch issues come across to someone who doesn't know the backstory there.
Feodor and his actor. He looks exactly like the pre-war heartthrob Adolf Dymsza, a specific upper-class Polish ethnic type that's much rarer now that, well, Nazis killed millions of Polish intellectuals in their attempt to reduce us to unskilled labour only. The faces he makes are the Best.
Nina!! Nina is perfect, those cheekbones, that cheek, I was giggling myself silly half the time. I cannot wait to see Danielle Galligan take on the challenge of Nina's plotline in Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom, she'll kill us dead.
I already mentioned that the writers fixed Mal's absence from the first book, but Mal in general! The haircut gives him a kind of rugby charm, and Archie Renaux is outstanding at emoting without talking. Honestly, all the casting in this series is inspired, but him in particular.
Extra bonus: Howard Charles and Luke Pasqualino playing so very much against the type of the swaggering Musketeers I saw them play last. Arken dropping the mask at the end... Howard Charles is love.
I can't believe not only was Milo's bullet a plot point, but the fact Alina was wearing a particularly sparkly hair ornament in a long series of beautiful hair ornaments was a plot point.
In conclusion: so much love, and next three season NOW please. Okay, give me a week to reread the books, and an extra day because new Murderbot drops tomorrow...
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roguestarsailor · 3 years
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impressions of six of crows
***spoiler ishh, not plot spoilers but just character interactions throughout the book***
note: I have not read shadow and bone and this is the first book i’m reading in this series so i have no prior knowledge of who these people are or what happened prior to this!!
I adore all these characters in the book! I love how seamlessly everything flowed and its glorious to read. The names were all confusing to me so I had to constantly refer back to the map and the Ice court layout to fully understand everything. I think there were points where I didn’t fully understand the impact because I didn’t read the other books. Talk of the Second army was confusing for me, but I just pushed through. I just love the dynamic of this group and I really really hope they are ok. Please don’t die. Will this author do this to my sensitive heart?? idkk?? 
the heist was so fun and honestly, i dont think the ice court was that well protected haha. it felt like they had so much time to do so many things but it just might be how the story is told. i love stories of trickery and heist and this one did a really good job. I love the backstories getting interwoven together and the plot twists were lovely. I was stressed for kaz though and i was nervous he will “run out of tricks” but it ended up fine. its strange because he is sooo young and hes battling these seasoned professionals and hes gotta navigate this fucked up world. they all have to navigate this fucked up world and i can’t imagine the stress of always looking behind you but also looking at the next 10 steps and then plotting additional scenarios to live. wow. anyways this i was great 10/10!!
Notable scenes include:
“Jesper!”
I’m going to kill that little idiot. “What do you want?” he shouted down.
“Close your eyes!”
“You can’t kiss me from down there, Wylan.”
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I LOVE THEM ALREADY! JESPER AND WYLAN IS SO CUTE
“Pull your shirt up over your mouth,” [Jesper] told Wylan.
“What?”
“Stop being dense. You’re cuter when you’re smart.”
Wylan’s cheeks went pink. He scowled and pulled his collar up.
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“Discipline. Routine. Does it mean nothing to you? Djel, I can’t wait to have a bed to myself again.”
“Right,” said Nina. “I can feel just how much you hate sleeping next to me. I feel it every morning.”
Matthais flushed bright scarlet. “Why do you have to say things like that?”
“Because I like it when you turn red.”
“It’s disgusting. You don’t need to make everything lewd.”
...
“Despite her fatigue, she trotted ahead of him. “That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want to like a Grisha. You’re scared that if you laugh at my jokes or answer my questions, you might start thinking I’m human. Would that be so terrible?”
“I do like you.”
“What was that?”
“I do like you,” he said angrily.
She’d beamed, feeling a well of pleasure erupt through her, “Now, really, was that so bad?”
“Yes!” he roared.
“Why?”
“Because you’re horrible. You’re loud and lewd and...treacherous.  Brum warned us that Grisha could be charming.”
“Oh, I see. I’m the wicked Grisha seductress. I have beguiled you with my Grisha wiles!”
She poked him in the chest.
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YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I FUCKEN LOVE THESE BICKERING IDIOTS. but also nina means so much to me. its so fucken refreshing to see a character who is overweight and can carry herself with so much sass and confidence (because thats what 17 year old me would have wished to be able to channel)!! i love that shes so flirty and especially to someone as stoic as matthais is cute af!! even the author wrote about how much she loves nina: “I probably identify most with Nina. She’s spent her whole life being told she’s too big, too loud, too much--and that’s basically me. I just wish I had Nina’ confidence at seventeen.” she has the kind of sass and big dick energy that comes w having to prove yourself and being shamed and i think thats why she has a special place in my heart!! maybe i’ll go in on my love for nina in another post but ugh i love her
“When we get back to Ketterdam, I’m taking my share, and I’m leaving the Dregs.”
He looked away. “You should. You were always too good for the Barrel.”
It was time to go. “Saints’ speed, Kaz.”
Kaz snagged her wrist. “Inej.” His gloved thumb moved over her pulse, tracing the top of the feather tattoo. “If we don’t make it out, I want you to know...”
She waited.
...
She reached up and touched his cheek...this was the first time she had touched him skin to skin, without the barrier of gloves or coat or shirtsleeves. She let her hand cup his cheek. His skin was cool and damp from the rain. He stayed still but she saw a tremor pass through him as if he were waging a war with himself.
“If we don’t survive this night, I will die unafraid, Kaz. Can you say the same?”
His eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. She could see it took every last bit of his terrible will for him to remain still beneath her touch. And yet, he did not pull away. She knew it was the best he could offer. It was not enough.”
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NO I LOVE THEM TOO! KAZ1!!! DO SOMETHING!!! BUT ALSO FUCKEN GOOD FOR YOU INEJ YOU FUCKEN KNOW WHAT YOU DESERVE AND IF HE AINT GIVING 100 U DONT WANT IT I LOVE HER TOO
Inej turned to go. Kaz seized her hand, keeping it on the railing. He didn’t look at her. “Stay,” he said, his voice rough stone. “Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me.”
She looked down at his gloved hand clutching hers. Everything in her wanted to say yes, but she would not settle for so little, not after all she’d been through. “What would be the point?”
He took a breath. “I want you to stay. I want you to...I want you.”
“You want me.” She turned the words over. Gently, she squeezed his hand. “And how will you have me, Kaz?”
He looked at her then, eyes fierce, mouth set. It was the face he wore when he was fighting.
“How will you have me?” she repeated. “Fully clothed, gloves on, your head turned away so our lips can never touch?”
He released her hand, his shoulders bunching, his gaze angry and ashamed as he turned his face to the sea.
Maybe it was because his back was to her that she could finally speak the words. “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”
Speak, she begged silently. Give me a reason to stay. For all his selfishness and cruelty, Kaz was still the boy who had saved her. She wanted to believe he was worth saving, too.
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ITERATE AGAIN, INEJ DONT WANT 90 PERCENT OR 99 PERCENT SHE WANTS 100 OR NOTHING WOW. i mean my shipping heart says NOOO buT shes right. kaz gotta figure out his shit and then share that vulnerability w her and maybe they can be truly together. UGH BUT THIS SCENE my god
Van Eck taunting Wylan and shitting on him for not being able to read was disgusting and i will fight him. I WILL PROTECT WYLAN WITH MY HEART! HES TRYING HIS BEST AND WORKING WITH WHAT HES GOT AND HE SAVED THEM ALL SO MANY TIMES. GET THIS PEDO OUT OF HERE FUCK THIS GUY
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“That’s why you disappeared during the journey,” said Jesper. “You weren’t helping Matthais care for Nina. You were hiding.”
“I didn’t hide.”
“You...how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I thought it was Kuwei?”
“Every time.”
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pekka rolllins. wow. what a man. i expect great things to happen between kaz and him. i truly did think kaz killed him back in the ice court lol but im glad he saw the grand plan and waited it out. hes a man of patience. i can respect that.
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