#what if i kill myself over this

[beingcluelessiguess]

Fucking 2 white men dropped 4 hour long video essays in the span of (over) a day im tired mostly because im still gonna make time to watch them

#finished the first one off to the second one #what if i kill myself over this

[saetoru]

if gojo doesn’t win this then it’s proof that all men do is lie bc why tf did you tell me in season one you’d win and have me all cozied up with no worries like “yeah trust. my man got this !!” only to make a fool out of the both of us. i’m never trusting nobody again this is not a game ok my mental health is not a game

#jjk leaks #jjk 236 #this is what i get for looking at the leaks #i told myself i would worry ab it in the morning #but curiosity rly does kill the cat huh #SOBS #IM ACTUALLY REALLY SAD I DONT KNOW WHAY TO DO #I KEEP TEARING UP IM LITERALLY NOT UNDERSTANDING HOW TO PROCESS THIS #half of me is delulu queen core like #nah he’s coming back it’s just a scare #and half of me is like #stop being delulu girl it’s over

[uncanny-tranny]

Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

#disability #this is a callout post about myself #i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned #turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly #i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack #(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way) #(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle) #anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you... #...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition] #i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀 #even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭 #it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker #and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller #and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected... #...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)

[captainhysunstuff]

19 more images below the cut (WARNING: Some PG-13 saucy shenanigans ahead)

Part three of their date: an unconventional visit to a nearby alley so Light can clear his head and try to get to the point of the outing. The events lead him to becoming confident enough to move onto the next stage...

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Transcript

#drawn by me #my fancomic #The Chain #Death Note #lawlight #L #Light Yagami #saucy shenanigans #smooch #Light’s Kira is showing #those face-sucking images were very intimidating to do #but they were fun after I got over it lol~ #I may share my other drafts of them making out and getting intimate that I did for this #it's pretty embarrassing XD #I gave up on the backgrounds. all that matters is that they're in an alley and there's a stack of boxes/wooden crates they utilize #happy early birthday L~ #they are macking normally I suppose #but I just couldn't bring myself to write the sound effects. you all know what making out sounds like yes? #wanted to write “smooch smooch smooch” but it felt ridiculous and probably would've killed the mood lol #the kissing does actually serve a purpose. Hint: It's why Light feels better about going to the next location #maybe I’ll get the next installment out before the end of the year. 😑

[inkerii]

So I couldn't help but browse the THG tag bc those books own my whole heart. I actually check it now and again, and it's been interesting see how opinions have changed over the years, especially in regards to Gale and Peeta. Going through the evolution of them as just potential love interests to being far more complex than I could have expected has been a wild ride. Crazy how this reads different than from when I was a preteen.

That said, I wanted to give my unsolicited two cents on my boys, because though I have been enjoying the discussion on Peeta and Gale and what they mean to the story, I also feel like reducing them to Peeta = peace and Gale = war is far too simplistic... and oftentimes unfair to one or both of them.

See, I don't think Peeta and Gale are peace and war/destruction. They're compassion and indignation.

Peeta worries about the other tributes, or their families, or how to repay people like Rue and Thresh for what they did.

Gale is indignation at how the Capitol treats its citizens, it's anger at the injustice of inequality and brutality.

Both are needed in a story like THG. You can't have people like even Peeta not say something like "maybe we're wrong about keeping things quiet in the districts", you can't have him not drop the baby bomb, you can't start a revolution without Gale's indignation at the status quo. At deserving a better life but being denied it, at having your kids be mercilessly killed for literal sport.

However, if you start a rebellion and loose sight of your compassion, you end up no better than the people you're fighting against. Gale wasn't a bad person, imo. His heart was in the right place. He was flawed, yes, but so is everyone in this series. Gale, most importantly, lost sight of the line between fighting for the people he cared about and fighting against the people who hurt him.

Reducing Gale's indignation to just revenge and hatred ignores so much of what he stands for. Who hasn't seen laws passed that dehumanize people, who hasn't been angry and furious when someone is elected who fundamentally hates everything you are, who doesn't think some people need to pay for the atrocities they committed? There's a little bit of Gale in every single one of us - and it's important that it's there, because that's what gives us strength to challenge the status quo and make life better for the future generations.

But. You can't let it take over. You can't loose sight of your compassion or your empathy.

That's where Peeta comes in. Peeta is the voice in your head that worries about how many good lives will be lost when they give themselves up for this cause. Peeta is the worry about the people caught in the crossfire. Peeta is rebuilding when it's over and believing that the next generation will have a better life than your own. Peeta is being kind, even to people who may not deserve it.

And Gale... Gale looses sight of his compassion, and he doesn't realize it until it smacks him in the face when the bombs go off and Prim is gone and he's too far gone. Meanwhile, Peeta advocates for the end of the war even though it means the status quo remains - and regardless of what he believes himself, I don't think Suzanne chose him to say those lines by chance. It means both mindsets have their flaws: too kind and things that shouldn't remain will never be challenged and changed, too angry and you may loose sight of what you're fighting for.

And that's just how Suzanne uses her characters, both of them, all of them. Just look at who is with Katniss depending on the situation:

- Katniss chooses to "rebel" after Gale is brutally whipped. She kisses him.

- Katniss realizes that in order for D12 to rebel, everyone would need to be in on it, and she realizes most of them are not like her, that they're scared and she understands, emphasises with them. Peeta walks by her side.

- Katniss finally does it though, shoots the arrow at the force field, and Peeta is taken from her, it's now Gale by her side.

(You can't start a rebellion without indignation, and sometimes you HAVE to do it or things will never change, regardless of the inevitable pain that will come along.)

- Katniss is righteously angry at the Capitol bombing a hospital full of innocents to make a point. Gale remains there.

- Coin twists people's compassion into an army to fight for her own personal gain. Peeta is hijacked and looses his sense of self.

- Katniss and Gale go to District 2 and even though she tries to be like Peeta, she's still shot- reinforcing Gale's views, the person who was with her during that sequence.

- Katniss is angry at Snow, Katniss goes to the Capitol to kill him. Gale is there.

- Katniss gets in way over her head and realizes she is responsible for the death of most of her squad. She shares the lamb stew with Peeta, and later cleans his wounds.

- Finnick dies and she's at her lowest up until that point and all she wants to do is give up and give in to the anger. She kisses Peeta and begs him to stay with her.

... Claiming that Gale is destruction ignores the fact that he's with Katniss through her own moments of strength. Her desire to change things, to fight back, is as important as her compassion. Mockingjay just brutally shows you what war does to your indignation, to your compassion. How easy it is to cross a line between righteous anger and revenge, or how your sense of empathy and compassion can be manipulated into something monstrous by others, or by all the terrible, brutal, painful things you see.

How easy it is to loose yourself- and that goes for both of them.

Peeta and Gale aren't static characters, they go from representations of sentiments regarding an injust government to what happens to those feelings when an extreme situation such as war breaks out. All of that, by the way, while dealing with this duality themselves, because they are still characters who think and feel and struggle and have flaws of their own- and while I love what they stand for, I've seen too many comments that pin everything into what they mean, that they forget that Peeta and Gale are still people, they aren't perfect metaphors. They're human.

Ultimately, Katniss doesn't really choose peace. She wants peace, yes. But what she chooses is compassion. empathy. hope. There's a time and place for anger at injustice. There's a time when fighting back is the right thing to do. There are even times when you wanna give in to your despair and lash out. But if you want peace, then you have to choose Peeta, because Peeta represents what you need to focus on to achieve that peace. You have to let go of the anger or you won't ever rest. So Gale leaves, and does not come back... And yet, Katniss still has her moments of indignation, of making a stand, even as he goes - she still casts her vote at that meeting, she still shoots Coin. Katniss does not abandon that part of who she is. It's just not her main drive anymore.

So then she goes on to make the choice, every single day, to be compassionate to others. To have hope. To rebuild. Of course she chooses Peeta.

... Idk, man. These boys are so much more than what I see them so often reduced to. They're in all of us. There will be times to stand and fight, and times to show mercy and be kind. We just need to find that balance, as Katniss eventually did.

#the hunger games #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne #it took me over a decade but I finally bit the bullet and decided to talk about this series #I love it so much #there's so much more I could say I had to hold myself back #like how BOTH Gale and Peeta are never fully gone even tho most people only focus on Peeta #But Gale knew what he did was wrong #It's not as clear bc he's not a pov character and katniss is too tired to try and read him but #prim's death touched him #he didn't brush it off he didnt see it as justified bc at least now its over #regardless of his reasons he still has enough sense of self to realize this #unlike y'know. characters like coriolanus who makes up so many excuses for what he did #including indirectly killing the character who is the personification of innocence and hope #like prim was #(side note I dont think any of the tbosas characters are direct parallels to the thg ones) #(theres little bits of katniss peeta AND gale in characters like snow) #(bc they're all representative of indignation and anger / compassion / fear and the need to feel safe) #(which every human being in the world has - even that bastard) #(he just chooses a different path) #(tbosas is very good btw) #(y'all should read it before the movie makes it about romance like I'm terrified it will) #ps if anyone knows how to put a read more on mobile can you let me know thx ily

[maulfucker]

So fucked up that obimaul is a rarepair. What do you mean not everyone is obsessed with enemies to lovers with a Force connection, where one side is completely obsessed with the other who barely acknowledges him (but is just as affected)

#hm i should make an original post tag #obimaul #like. say what you want but obi-wan saw a random dathomirian zabrak and immediately went 'maul?? alive??' #he DOES care about maul he just doesn't actively seek him out like maul does #post prompted by this song that makes me think about Maul in his crime lord era‚ all the luxury of the world within his reach‚ #but none of it satisfies him because what he really wants is to find (and kill) kenobi #'another night up in the best suite; everything's gone wrong already‚ my body admits; dreaming so high the floor is the limit; #once again i got lost.. [...] another night i give myself‚ top of a skyscraper; i'm the king of the world‚ dreams for rent; #and when i look at myself i sigh with a low voice‚ 'i don't feel bad i just feel nothing'' #(<- song is são paulo‚ 2015 by jão) #it's a song about feeling dissatisfied with the life of fame because there's an emptiness he can't fill with sex drugs or luxuries #and from the context of the album it's likely he's thinking about a past lover he's still not over #so. imagine with me. #i might make something out of this. maybe. #but like. posting about songs that make me think obimaul thoughts. not very productive. almost no audience. #... and while making this post i've been attacked by yet another song with a very obimaul words #'lie to me‚ run from me‚ we swear it doesn't count‚ in this way of ours‚ but it's not because i hate you that i can't kiss you anymore' #<- pilantra by jão and anitta

[variousqueerthings]

my cute post about fourteen with the noble family is flying off the shelves, but not enough people interested in the queerness contained within the deeply intimate erotic implications of fourteen/fifteen being consciously inside one another? no fans of science fiction premises queering the visceral physical nature of knowing someone/oneself deeper than anyone else? the queerness of asexual reproduction depicting an intense connection with the self that is nigh-indescribable but is canonically beautiful and loving? the queerness inherent in fourteen's and fifteen's relationship with one another retroactively stretching back to encompass every single iteration of the doctor? the queer ideas encapsulated through depicting one being with oneself like that? the queerness that is pushing the limits of thinking up language about how we relate to our own/others bodies in space/time that is possible in science fiction? nobody think bi-regeneration is very sexy queer-coded?

#doctor who #dw #the doctor #the fifteenth doctors #the fourteenth doctor #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers #where are all my weirdo scifi concept fans at... psstpssstpsssst #i do enjoy a bit of cuteness myself but really im here for the scifi fuckery -- the good and the evil #thinking about fucked up toymaker fic if he'd taken the doctor's suggestion #or what he was saying about killing the doctor over and over #also thinking about no-thing tardis with the doctor inside #and also ofc fourteen and fifteen having this intense connection #there will be More feelings once fifteen gets going esp if/when (ok we know it's when) the master returns #ohhh and the doctor and gods! its gonna be great #bi-generation

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

drawing Barnaby is incredibly Detrimental to my health because it consistently finds me like this:

#MY NECK HURTS <3 #i'll Realize. fix my posture #lose myself in the Love and then BOOM shrimping once more #i hunch over my tablet face To The Screen like some wild beast defending its kill #but with... Delight and Whimsy instead of bloodthirsty viciousness #shoulders hunched back Curled head down and jutted forward- #snf sob... love truly is pain.... #absolutely unprompted #THERE'S NO NEED FOR ME TO SIT LIKE THISSSSSS #I JUST GET SO ABSORBED!!! HE'S SO!!!! #completely related but there isn't enough Handsome Barnaby art #well. every image of him is handsome in my professional opinion #but you know what i mean!!!! #i need to put him in outfits.... #no. you know what i need? #a very very tiny pixelated image of him framed and hung on my wall #tiny frame. tiny barnaby. really just like. three blue pixels #that way when i wake up in the mornings i can look over and see The Pixels #and be filled with enough strength to Get Up #i need the motivation to get out of bed... i have been sleeping until 3 every day.... #methinks. tis not healthy #but yes. tiny barnaby in a frame please and Thank You!

[charmac]

The way Rob wrote the Charlie plot in Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender revolves heavily around the angle that Charlie needs Frank in his life financially, and is fighting for him back so he pay rent/make ends meet. Interestingly, that motivation was very obviously pivoted away from in the actual episode:

The script says Charlie won't miss him, but he needs him.

In the Episode, Charlie tells Frank he doesn't need him, but he'll miss him.

The scene which explains how Mac and Charlie started scheming together was cut, and it starts with the idea that Charlie is already struggling financially without Frank:

And, once again when the script has Charlie mentioning rent,

it's dropped from the scene.

(bonus there's a little cut moment of Frank moving back in)

Charlie wants Frank back, but he's competing purely for Frank's affection, the financial angle dropped completely. There is literally no mention of a need for Frank's money/rent that is kept in the actual episode, while the script revolved around it.

Dennis and Dee only need Frank financially, it's their unfortunate bind to him, the literal, only reason they cannot escape him is their need for his money (and that continues to this day). Charlie was being written on that path, maybe doomed to be the third kid, but that wasn't actually executed, and in fact played to read the exact opposite of the twins' need for Frank.

Charlie is happy living in squalor, he'll find a way to survive off pennies, he had been his whole life, but a year in and he can't let Frank go. It could have been because of his money, if played as written/intended, but it very obviously wouldn't be, and isn't, about that for Charlie

#iasip #gruesome twosome #charlie kelly #charlie meta #sunny scripts #sunny 3 #killing myself again btw #charlie day you give us so much #slapping your name over robs as created by haha jk unless #no hate to rob like i get what he was going for in early years cos it 'makes sense' but #no one gets charlie kelly like charlie day #ive said it before and ill say it again but if they ever do a frank dying episode i will not survive it #bc frank dying would save dennis and destroy charlie

[haemosexuality]

why are so many adventure time fans just straight up stupid. about how stories work. and i dont even mean kids i mean like adult fans just with the absolutely dumbest takes

#i was watching a streamer react to f&c which ok i admit i brought this upon myself #but oh my godddddd #''i think farmworld finn's wife was pb'' even ignoring that one of his kids looks exactly like human huntress wizard WHAT #WHY IN THE HELL WOULD THAT BE TRUE. AFTER THEYVE SPENT S I X S E A S O N S SHOWING WHY PBXFINN COULD NEVER BE A THING #LITERALLY SEVERAL SEASONS SHOWING 1-PB WILK NEVER LIKE FINN BACK THEY ARE INCOMPATIBLE 2-FINN HAS MOVED ON HE HAS ACCEPTED THAT AND GOTTEN #OVER HIS CHILDHOOD LOVE ON HER AND ONLY AFTER THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO FORM A FRIENDSHIP #THATS LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS OF THE SHOW #WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY TAKE THAT BACK AND MAKE HIM HAVE FUCKING KIDS WITH HER IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE????????? #''did prismo just die in the end of episode 4??? oh no what a mystery'' oh yeah dude they totally killed off one of the most important #characters in like 5 seconds with almost no ceremony. without even acknowledging it. thats totally how character deaths work #this is totally plausible #''what the fuck im gonna get so mad of simon actually becomes ice king again'' ARE YOU STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF ''CREATING A CONFLICT AND THEN RESOLVING IT'' #HOLY FUCKING SHIT #sorry this is making me go insane a little bit. #adventure time #fionna and cake #every time i see some guy mention pbxfinn and a thing that could have happened i fly into a rage. you are so fucking stupid. you have the #mental capabilities of a child. never open your mouth again. #as a thing* that could have happened

[hellomagicalsouls]

i had a dream about Klaus and Five fighting then five brought up Klaus being a junkie and thennnnn

Klaus brought up how Five is the reason every bad thing has happened to him. five LITERALLY did it to himself.

nobody pushed him out the door to go attempt to jump into the future infact everyone tried to stop him because they called after him.

five literally made his life the way it is because he's a stubborn bitch who thought he knew better

i woke up @ 4am after this dream and haven't slept since

also he called Klaus a junkie who has no idea what it's like being alone but Klaus literally was on the streets for like 12 years so he probably understands better than anyone

cause five and Klaus both probably had no food and had to eat out of dumpsters and do things they absolutely didn't want to do in order to survive

dream verse has it out for me honestly

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #why do i actually do this to myself #ive been awake for 18 hours over this #im gonna fail uni at this point #my brain needs to stop cause its getting personal now #like slow down babe wait til we're awake to hurt #we're adults its what we do #five and Klaus love eachother #because they are eachother #both addicted to something that's gonna kill them if they dont stop it #im doing it again #okay bye love you #the scene where five called klaus a junkie hurt me lots incase you couldn't tell #its the word junkie its so harsh makes me sad #umbrella academy klaus #tua klaus #umbrella academy five #tua five

[purenonsens]

#HELLO just found out that GYBE played three gigs in Poland right after my bday last month ☠️ #FUCK. FUCK!!!!! beating myself up over it forever #serves me right not keeping up what my fav bands are up to #Godspeed You! Black Emperor #The Dead Flag Blues #F A ∞ #1998 #audio #kill me pls how HOW could I missed them #Bandcamp #on unrelated note this album would be a perfect ost to Fallout if it was dead serious n bleak - such a good post-apo western soundscape

[rip-rbg]

judy hale deserved so much better

#honestly what the fuck #i’m still really disappointed honesty #i can’t give myself days #i gave myself hours and i can’t get over how unhappy i was with the ending #to take the most deserving character and literally KILL HER #CAUSE FUCKING WHY?! #literally the wordt thing i can’t even deal with it #i waited two years for judy to die i fucking can’t #dead to me #dtm #judy hale #judy x jen #jen harding

[skitskatdacat63]

Stop flirting....

#btw i have zero context for *when* that pic is from in the press con #but this is the only time they talk to/about each other in the transcript #so it is my headcanon that they are the same moment 🤭🤭 #but god yet another exchange i would kill someone to get the video of #it just comes off in the transcript as so old married couple bickering?????? #'oh *now* youre paying attention. was the light bothering you? was it really that bad for you' #'yes it was in fact disturbing me >:(' #'youre being such a baby 🙄 the light in here is just as bright“ #'alright sure mr. privileged man whos in the best car. of course you wouldn't understnd my struggles 😒' #'well maybe you shoul've just backed off and let me drive 🥺 i was already beating you whats the point' #'ummm actually no you werent' #mark: i am going to shoot myself #but its sooooooo funny seb being like aww dw 🥺🥺 i was trying to build a gap 🥺🥺 to shield your sensitive eyes 🥺 #CAN WE PLEASE TALK THOUGH ABOUT SEB PATTING HIS CAP !!!!!!! SOOOOOO CUTE #no matter the actual context of the pic hes still 100% being an annoying brat to nando. I just know it #race weekend over. back to the content people TRULY care about: vettonso.(😭) #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #vettonso #2013 italian gp

[literallyjusttoa]

Headcanon based on something I just drew.

When Apollo is annoyed he rants, when he’s angry he yells, but when he’s truly furious, he’s completely silent.

Many a mortal have died to nothing more than the sound of an arrow being let loose. In his rage, Apollo deemed their lives, and their deaths, unworthy of his voice. No requiem for the wicked.

#something something #the confrontation after Apollo kills the master Cyclopes #Zeus is yelling and screaming and so furious #and at the foot of his throne apollo stands silent and unapologetic #and for the first time Zeus realizes he might’ve pushed his son too far #so he attempts to cast Apollo to Tartarus to fix his mistake #but throughout all his threats Apollo remains silent #too far gone in his rage and grief to even care what his fathers punishment might be #this specific moment is so important to me bc it must have been such a breaking point in their relationship #but it’s mentioned so little #it’s the only time (as far as I know) Apollo makes the choice on his own to strike against his father #even if it isn’t against Zeus directly we know from the books it was an attempt to get rid of his power over Apollo #and that’s the one thing Zeus is terrified of #anyways #working on toapril a bit early ;) #I’m deluding myself into thinking I can do every day woop woop #trials of apollo #toa apollo #lester papadopoulos #sunny speaks #headcanons

[tothepointofinsanity]

[Going to go away for a while…I think life is meaningless again…I need to look for a reason to stop whining about the way things are. Head hurts. I don’t like that I’m alive.]

#ttpoilog #I haven’t drawn in a bit but I have no motivation #whatever #nothing interesting to draw anyways #what’s the point of living if I can’t just do the things I want without headache and without a looming panic over my head #I don’t like existing #I am going to kill myself soon #grrr but the video games……. #why do I feel awful all the time these days