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mythgirlimagines · 2 years

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ANON-CORRECT QUOTES

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(At the supermarket...)

Purple: (putting a bag of goldfish crackers into her bag, internally) I highly doubt that a surplus of store-brand morsels of crunchy baked dough in the shape of beaming marine life would be a necessity.

(ONE PERIOD OF POETRY-WRITING QUARANTINE LATER...)

Curious: (walking up to Fusion, handing him an envelope) Greetings, Fusion-senpai. Purple wanted me to deliver this letter to you.

Fusion: (taking the letter, and internally reading the contents) Fusion, my dearest compatriot, I write to you in a torpor of dark times. Damnable fool that I am, I have already exhausted mine supply of cheese whales.

Fusion: (rushing over to the store, paternal reflexes kicking in)

Source: Twitter

Page Source: (https://twitter.com/invisichad/status/1239702851556741120)

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(Context: Wyre is trying to win a debate against a couple of other accomplished paleontologists, and needs some advice on how to win...)

Wyre: (internally, dramatically) Now, it's time to go...

Wyre: (pointing dramatically at Nerd, out loud) TO THE GRAND HIGH B***H HIMSELF!

Nerd: (shocked at the sudden shouting, and angry at the insult) WYRE!

Source: RuPaul's Drag Race

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(When Eldritch and Fusion II decided to attend one of Dream's volleyball games...)

Dream: (smirking, with her game face on) Well, I can't lose now!

Dream: (putting her hair into a ponytail, and pushing her bangs out of her eyes)

Eldritch: (blushing) W-W-Who's that h-hot g-g-guy?!

Fusion II: (deadpan, trying to fight back her blush too) Dude, chill. That's your girlfriend.

Source: Shikimori's Not Just a Cutie

Video Source: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TEjFJQBLbc)

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(In Iris's favorite stargazing spot...)

Iris: (stargazing, eyes focused on the constellations)

Sparkle: (flaunting her stuff, in front of Iris)

Iris: (with a strained smile) Uh, excuse me, Sparkle-senpai! You're blocking my view!

Sparkle: (swishing her cape) I AM THE VIEW!

Source: Keeping Up With The Kardashians

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(Shortly after Wet Sock adopted the Baby Squad...)

Janon: (showing off his new knife with "1# Son" carved into it, to a pair of amazed Jr. Ultimates)

Scar: (angrily, to Wet Sock) You can't just give the Demonling of Sloth a blade, High Demon of Frost! It's not safe!

Wet Sock: (shrugging) It's a knife. It's not meant to be safe.

Scar: (gesturing to Janon) He's a CHILD!

Wet Sock: (looking away) It's educational.

Scar: (glaring daggers at them) What if he CUTS himself?

Wet Sock: (smirking) That will be an important lesson.

Source: Hogfather (Discworld)

Page Source: (https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/986286-you-can-t-give-her-that-she-screamed-it-s-not-safe)

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(How Myth got Egg's approval to date Wet Sock...)

Myth: (confidently marching over to Egg's room, and opening the door with a dramatic flourish)

Myth: (loudly and clearly) Egg! I am asking for permission to date your twin!

Egg: (confused) What is this, the Dark Ages?

Egg: (smirking, pulling out eggs and toilet paper) Y'know what? Since you asked me, no you can't! Beat me in a prank war first!

Source: Tumblr

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(During the Mastermind trial...)

The Fancy One/Mastermind: (looking back, giggling a bit) You know, I can't believe how easy it is to get away with this s*** with you people!~★

The Fancy One/Mastermind: (showing slideshows of their respective atrocities) I want to put out any and all hope in Anons, you just sit there and let me! I want to drag my beloved assistant and former ally of your's to the dark side, you just sit there and let me!~★

The Fancy One/Mastermind: (incredulously, angrily yelling near the end) I want to bring this random group of Anons to despair, and YOU JUST SIT RIGHT THERE AND LET ME!~★

Source: Dragon Ball Z Abridged

Video Source: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DfKjR7hHbA)

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I hope these quotes are to your liking! As always, be sure to look out for more of my content!

-Fusion Anon

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Not the Shikimori quote lollllllllll

#submission #anon #fusion anon #incorrect quote #fusion anon ii #purple anon #curious anon #dream anon #sparkling anon #eldritch anon #iris anon #just anon #egg anon #wet sock anon #anon nerd #anon scar #my evil twin #anon kg #swearing

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hightaled · 2 years

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these crackers are like if goldfish crackers were shaped like recognizable lobsters, yellowfin tuna, crabs, whales, hammerhead sharks, starfish, turtles, etc., and tasted like garlic bread

#i cannot overstate how much i am looking and admiring these guys what the hell #this is Sick i wish all food was lkke this #rex.txt

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novicehomemaker · 2 years

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Ahhh... or should I say yarr? Another enjoyable theme party. I really and truly enjoy making these parties for my friends. I spend months ahead of time planning, perusing Pinterest, gathering supplies and making props. This was one of my big parties for the year. I do one every month, but some are more fun to create than others so they become “big” parties. This one kept me busy. I will usually take stuff I have on hand that could be used for whatever theme is coming up and add them to a party box and gather and gather until the party day. Other stuff is handmade specifically for the party. The jelly fish were really fun to make. They are made out of soda bottles. I cut the bottles, use a heat gun to shape tendrils and glue them back together along with ribbons and sequins. They were moved into the “aquarium” for the actual party. My back patio has a glass wall of sliders so it becomes the aquarium. I made coral out of plumber’s foam and spray paint and gather up all my daughter’s stuffed/plush fish to use as props. We purchased a backdrop from Amazon. In the photo with the silver chalices you may notice a Kraken rum mini bottle. I attached it to a necklace so I could carry and sip all night. That was a fun costume piece. I spent an absurd amount of time on the cannonball crate. Having made it...I would do a bit more measuring and planning on the next one, but I like how it turned out. I used the hard cardboard corner pieces that come in shipping boxes to protect the contents and a cardboard box along with letter stencils and paint. I am not sure that you can see it in the pic, but Polly Parrot is pecking away at the cracker box trying to get a treat. I put details into my parties that I think go unnoticed, but give me a chuckle anyway. The pirate decanters were a rummage sale find from years ago, guns and swords were saved from when my boys were little. ( I wonder if you can still buy such weapons at Disneyland now a days?) I mixed and matched ideas from Pinterest to make the sails. I think it was the stunner at the party. I think it was the most expensive thing I have made for a party...it was about 25$. I used a garden pot from Home Depot, pvc pipe, paint, dollar store twine, a gallon water jug filled with leftover playsand, a dollar store garden pot, a scrap of skull themed fleece and an old sheet. It is all set up on my coffee table with a blue sheet over purple string lights. Oh! I threw in some old fish and whale toys into the blue “water”. In one photo you may notice a little sailor doll. I got him when I was three aboard a Princess Cruise. He is about 45 years old. My treasure chest is filled with a bunch of old costume jewelry as well as some fake pearl necklaces (which were given to guests for upcoming Downton Abbey party) and some purchased fake gems. This party was really fun to put together. I love it too much though and will probably have to reuse to do something like a Little Mermaid or Spongebob themed party next time.

#under sea party #piratesandmermaidsparty #pirateparty #mermaidparty #oceanparty

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fictionkinfessions · 3 years

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hey mpc, I noticed that you misspell Fairy Tail in the tags, you're tagging them with Fairy Tale instead of Fairy Tail! :D

-a fish shaped cracker

I’m, wait, I? I’m tearing up, a cracker shape like fish, how beautiful!! Give me a minute here pls! [spongebob narator voice: 1 hour later]

Deep breath, ok! I’m ok! I just had to think about fish cracker taxonomies and came up with a great idea for a book!

Thank you anon, for the excellent day dreams and for the heads up about the tag! It’s fixed now!

Mod Party Cat!

#not confessions #mod response #food cw #whale shaped crackers #whole wheath sharkies #mod party cat!

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butwhyduh · 3 years

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Cursed thought: new batsis who's really bizarre and might be from Florida, based off the shit she says.

Stuff like "I was born in the deep end of a motel swimming pool, so I'll be fine." "You what??" "Don't worry, there wasn't any water in it."

And "Yeah, my cousin got arrested for driving a jetski into a whale, so we can't go to SeaWorld anymore. They're also unethical with how they treat animals."

Her talking to villains is just that meme that's like "me explaining to my mom" as they look on confused and almost kinda scared.

People at galas who rolled their eyes over Bruce Wayne's other adopted children are like "oh jesus christ"

I laughed very hard reading this and then thought about it and she would actually pretty normal for the batfam.

“See here is the scar I got from being bit by Dave the alligator,” she said pointing to a scar on her ankle.

Tim happily pulled up his pants leg to show near his knee a scar of similar shape. “Killer Croc.”

She shows her shoulder. “Fireworks almost exploded in my face.”

Jason “do I need to mention explosions?”

Dick “no, but here is where I was hit by a fire cracker thrown by a thug,” he said showing the small of his back. “Called himself Crackie as a name because of the fireworks. Can you imagine how stupid that is? I thought he was on crack.”

Batsis “my cousin lost a finger throwing fire crackers in the pond. Still got her ass slammed for killing the fish too.”

Jason “here’s a chemical burn I got from Poison Ivy after I accidentally dropped a bomb in the lake and it killed plants and fish.” He showed a splash shaped scar on his thigh.

Bruce “I’m not sure if I should have put you all together because it might rip the fabric of time space continuum but I think she’ll fit in just fine.”

“And my enhanced night vision will help too.”

“You’re whAT?”

#batboys #batfam #batman #batsis

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serifsans · 3 years

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Here is a list of some things that I personally consider extremely agreeable, nice, and otherwise good about this planet. This is intended for a very specific target audience of one person; however, if you are unfamiliar with the world's niceties, you may find this useful as well. There are many, many, many other things that are good in this world. This is just a small handful.

Rabbits: These are a type of small mammal with very dramatic ears. Some live in the wild and some are domesticated! You may tell if a rabbit is domesticated by its coat and by the fact that it does not live in the wild. I find the domestication of animals conceptually unpleasant and many pet owners have no idea what they're doing; however, wild rabbits live much shorter, stressful lives than their inside brethren, so I suppose the house rabbits enjoy themselves more. Some places called zoos may have an area where you can interact with domesticated rabbits under supervision and touch their fur. It is very soft.

The ocean: It's extremely large and very wet. Fish live in it and also whales and jellyfish, which aren't actually fish. If you venture too far out into it, you'll be swept away, which is not good if water can kill you. However, if you stick to just the very edge of the ocean, it's really very fun to walk with your feet in the water and look at crabs. Sometimes there are surfers. It's nice when there are surfers.

Jazz: This is a musical genre that's extremely exciting and which I heartily recommend listening to. There are often saxophones here, which is a woodwind instrument made of brass. I think that it's called a woodwind because the mouthpiece that the musician blows into to produce noise has a little wooden reed. There are often trumpet sounds as well! A trumpet is a brass instrument with a brass mouthpiece without a reed. It makes a different sound than a saxophone.

Pudding: This is a sweet dessert made out of sugar, milk, and pudding mix. It can be many flavors! These include vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, French vanilla, butterscotch, and the other ones. You can add things to the pudding if you like, such as cookies and whipped cream and mixed berries. In Britain, the word pudding refers to many other things; however, I am not in Britain.

Lilac: This is a type of flowering shrub that grows quite large and which I have discovered that I am extremely fond of. In spring, they produce large clusters of purple flowers and when the wind blows past them, it carries their scent around. Butterflies and bees often flock to lilacs.

Milan Fashion Week: The most famous Italian fashion houses host a week in the warm season and then a week in the cold season where they showcase their most beautiful, daring clothing designs on the runway. I try to watch as many runway shows as I can regardless of country of origin but I absolutely adore the Italian style. It's chic. Bold. Daring. Anyway, I highly recommend watching runway for the clothes. They're so gorgeous. I wish people dressed like that all the time. <3

Ants: These are very small animals that live in colonies beneath the dirt and sometimes in decaying old trees and places like that. They have such rich social structures. Wordless, they perform so many tasks for the greater good of their home. They're so careful, so deliberate when they clean their antennae, so very strong despite being so small. They love to sip sweet nectars. Some species carry leaves and petals around! They're so efficient and so cute with their little feet and big eyes. They may bite you if threatened, so do not threaten them. Give them a piece of candy. They'll like that.

Stars: On a clear night, if you drive away from the cities and go far out into the country, you might have a marvelous view of the night sky and all its vast loveliness. It's important to be away from cities and even large towns because too many lights around cloud up the view. There's something soothing about being away from the hustle and bustle of the city and then looking at the night sky. You see starlight cast many, many, many years ago and the moon changing phases. Even the artificial satellites orbiting Earth are comforting in their own way.

Marshmallow: This is a sort of candy and it's very nice. It's soft and squishy and tastes like gentle sweetness. They can be small or large, and sometimes they come in fun shapes. Lately, they've even been adding fruit flavors to them! You can put marshmallows on a cake or in cocoa. You can set them on fire! They char on the outside and turn into goo on the inside when you do that. There's something sold in stores called marshmallow fluff, which is marshmallows that have been turned into a sort of spread that you can put on graham crackers or a cake or whatever else you want. You can eat it straight out of the jar too if you'd like.

Dandelions: Many people regard these plants as weeds but that's because many people are quite silly. These are hardy, resilient plants that grow strong. You can eat many parts of a dandelion and they're quite tasty when prepared correctly. They have cheerful yellow flowers. When it's seed season, they produce many seeds attached to a fluffy bit. When the wind kicks up, it carries these seeds on the wind and it's nice to watch. Some people play a game where they make a wish on a dandelion and then blow the seeds into the air. Similarly, I am charmed by the hardiness of clover and thistles, though they lack fluff.

Prairie dogs: They aren't canines at all! They're little fellows. I just think they're funny.

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josy57 · 4 years

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Where There’s Smoke

I will always care, always keep an eye on you As long as you allow me this small window This peephole into your life I will strain and crane my neck, stand on tippy-toes Follow you till you are but a dot in the distance And long after you've disappeared Into the painful dizzy darkness at the very edge of my vision This, I know, is one of those places where one shouldn't look for too long Some burning star or whispering abyss But I do it anyway Like a little kid peeking through their fingers In curiosity, in fear of monsters, In defiance of the rules of hide and seek

You might blame me if you knew Behind the seemingly casual, How eagerly I cling But I promise I won't impede on your life, Only cherish the morsels I can glean Hold them in my mouth, pressed between tongue and palate As I did in childhood, sucking on keys and stones Savoring the salty mineral taste The cold roundness, the pointy jagged edges The forbiddenness of it I searched for nourishment in all the wrong places Things I knew I should never bite nor swallow Lest it shatter my teeth, Choke me, turn me blue, tear me from the inside But somehow, I sustained myself on that, The sensuousness of my deprived longing And all those dangers, those many ways to die For a misguided wish They seemed as oddly charming as fairytales endings

After all, have I not become one of those storybook characters? If I were cut open, I'm sure you would be found in there In my stomach, whole and nearly unharmed Undigested And I, like a pinata or a Christmas cracker Like one of those birds fallen dead Starved yet still plump Filled with popped balloons Plastic bubbles burst mid-flight An unwise little birdie having gorged on dreams It could never break down, never consume or be rid of

In tales, creatures -wolves, whales, perhaps people too- Can become places And so it is: you have lived in me and I in you As though you were a concept wide enough to englobe all things To include me too I made you my artefact, my magic word From all those small, guilt-ridden visions of you I built a candy house, a castle in the clouds

So of course I care, of course I can never lose sight of that All the while I'm trying not to wait but how could I not? That's the logic of fiction Where the past always informs the future Where no loose end goes untied and no gun unfired My childish mind believes in that In life shaped like a horseshoe The far ends so close to touching And so I am holding tight to every thread -A fly like a keystone, keeping the web together- Holding tight to everything that smells of powder or memory Desperately waiting for more to come of all those loaded years Unable to accept the smoke without the flame The long promised price, the fated downfall

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ti2guhr · 4 years

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Hypo/mania is like none sadness with left happy or happiness but a bit to the left or off brand happines or something like that because it isn't really happiness but it's close enough when you've been depressed for so long

Like we all know those "whale shaped baked cheddar cheese snack crackers" are not goldfish crackers but sometimes you just gotta take what you can get

#bipolar ii #or like.... all fast with left happy #bc it's mostly just feeling 'fast'

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hithelleth · 5 years

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I was tagged by @wellwhataboutme! Thank you! :D This one looks like it has some new/different questions than the others.

Zodiac: Aquarius

Height: 1.50 m

Put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 4 songs: I have to do this with my old stash of songs in WMP where my taste mostly got stuck (and I don’t listen to music that much and I hadn’t bothered to smush new and old stuff together since the new stuff is more easily accessible online, but I don’t bother figuring shuffling there, so... anyway. You know, me and music. I like music, I’m just no good at keeping track of what I’m listening to.)

Shape of my Heart - Noah and the Whale (How the heck and from where has this come? And what even is this?) Ain’t No Sunshine - Bill Withers Zvezala bi si krila - Manca Špik Only Happy When It Rains - Kat Graham (Ah, the good ol’ days of being preoccupied with TVD (when it was good.))

Grab the nearest book and turn to page 23 what does line 17 say:

“Then Feanor and his people attacked the Teleri in their city” - Beren and Luthien by J. R. R. Tolkien

Ever had a song or poem written about you? No

When’s the last time you played air guitar? I don’t think I’ve ever done that.

What is a sound you hate and one you love? Hate: loud bangs, the dentist’s drill, fire crackers, uh. Love: steady rain/wind.

Do you believe in ghosts? Not in the boo-hoo variants, no. But I do believe in spirits sometimes lingering/sending us messages/vibes, something like that.

Do you believe in aliens? I don’t know. Yes, I guess? I mean, it would be very arrogant (but very human) to believe Earth is the only life-supporting place in the whole universe.

Do you drive? And if so have you ever gotten yourself into an accident? Not anymore. I did have a couple minor bumps on a parking lot and one on the road, but they were all just scratches (well, one parking lot incident did dent the other car quite a bit) and no one injured.

Do you like the smell of gasoline? No.

What’s the last movie you’ve seen? I don’t know, some stupid rerun on TV.

Do you have an obsession right now? A Discovery of Witches (both the show and the books (especially the books, although I still have to properly read the third)! Which I keep intending to reblog (I have a ton of drafts and likes) but then things get in the way.

In a relationship? No.

I would like to know better: not into tagging today, but if you feel like you want me to get to know you better, go ahead.

#tag meme #wellwhataboutme

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Ted Lasso and Other TV Bosses We’d Walk Over Hot Coals For

https://ift.tt/3ryGOvx

In the heady moments of celebration after England’s victory over Denmark in this year’s Euros semi-final, the sight of team manager Gareth Southgate prompted ITV pundit Gary Neville to comment: “The standard of leaders in this country the past couple of years has been poor. Looking at that man, he’s everything a leader should be: respectful, humble, he tells the truth.”

The former Man U right-back’s words, directed at the political rulers of a country riven by Brexit, tap into a modern craving for decency. Fed a diet of self-serving narcissism from our public figures, we hunger for more wholesome fare: moral character, humility, honesty, kindness. In the year of horrors that was 2020, that appetite was temporarily sated on TV by fictional football manager Ted Lasso.

Played in the Apple TV series by Jason Sudeikis (who, in true Ted style, wore a shirt to the Ted Lasso season two launch in support of the three young Black England footballers who received racist abuse after their team’s eventual loss to Italy in the final), Ted’s thoroughgoing decency won everyone over to The Lasso Way. He’s the gold standard of TV bosses – selfless, caring, wise, inspirational, and patiently dedicated to bringing out the best in his players and the team as a whole. He may not always win on the pitch, but he always wins in our hearts. And if those words make you want to heave, then you, friend, may just need a little more Lasso in your life. #Believe.

To celebrate his return, we present Ted’s TV peers, the bosses for whom you’d go any number of extra miles.

Leslie Knope – Parks & Recreation

There is no finer example set in the TV workplace than Leslie Barbara Knope. The Pawnee public servant leads from the front, the sides and the back. She’s the waffle-powered sheepdog of City Hall, yapping co-workers and townsfolk into shape with her relentless work ethic and bottomless optimism. Leslie’s a boss who cares so much that she’s already bought your Christmas gift. And your birthday gift. And made you a special hand-crafted gift to mark the half-year anniversary of the day you first met. She sleeps three hours a night, runs entirely on sugar (or should that be salgar?), has a binder for every eventuality, and always, always has your back. Her rubber-soled energy is so infectious that over seven seasons she even manages to motivate the lazy (Tom), disaffected (April), dumb (Andy), aloof (Donna), hapless (Jerry) and the downright obstructive (Ron). For a gal named ‘nope’, she’s a whole lot of yes. LM

Bertram Cooper – Mad Men

Technically, advertising firm Sterling Cooper on Mad Men has two bosses – Roger Sterling and Bertram Cooper. Coop, however, is the let’s say…more experienced of the two and takes on the role of boss. And what a boss he is! The eccentric office sage played by Robert Morse takes a decidedly hands off approach to managing the workplace. Do whatever you want in this Madison Avenue ad agency, as long as you take your shoes off when you enter Bert’s office. And if you’re nice enough he might show you his collection of erotic octopus art. AB

Jacqueline Carlyle – The Bold Type

The Editor-In-Chief of Scarlet magazine, the women’s title at the heart of ridiculous millennial wish fulfillment vehicle The Bold Type is part mentor, part mother figure, part fairy godmother to the three young women at the centre of the show. Jane is an intern when she first meets Jacqueline, who greets her with “Are you a writer? You look like a writer.” Because, yep, it really is that easy to get a job at a top magazine. The Bold Type is nonsense but it’s very good hearted nonsense which tries in earnest to tackle big issues while maintaining a sunny outlook. Be yourself, be passionate, be bold, the show says, and the world is at your feet. Sent a couple of tweets? Congratulations, have a promotion! Threatened with a lawsuit because of something you wrote? No bother, have a promotion! Fraudulently passed yourself off as a stylist when you’re not, thereby ruining a key relationship? Meh. Promotion for you! Promotions all round! Jacqueline is glamorous and wise, endlessly patient with her proteges and seemingly in possession of a bottomless budget. We all wish we worked for Jacqueline and she’s a wonderful (imaginary) role model. We’re just slightly nervous for any young fans of the show who ever get to work for an actual, real life Editor-In-Chief… RF

Mr. Krabs – SpongeBob SquarePants

Mr. Krabs is a good boss because he’s refreshingly upfront about what matters to him. Simply put: the crab likes money. As long as you’re putting in the hours and keeping the profit margins fat, Mr. Krabs will be your best friend. Sure, he takes advantage of SpongeBob’s naivete from time to time. But deep down, you know the guy has a heart as big as his enormous whale daughter, Pearl. AB

Supt. Ted Hastings – Line of Duty

Think of Ted Hastings, head of Central Police’s Anti-Corruption Unit 12, as Ulysses – a man sailing on dangerous waters but so determined not to be seduced by the sirens’ song that he’s tied himself to the ship’s mast and stopped his ears with wax. Except replace ‘siren’s song’ with ‘bungs from criminal gangs’, and ‘ship’s mast’ and ‘wax’ with ‘sheer force of will, son’. Ted’s a colossus of integrity in a world of backhanders and turning-a-blind-eye. He does the right thing even when it’s the hard thing, and if you’re one of his officers, then you’re his for life. (Unless you’re a corrupt gangster plant, in which case, by Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey, he’ll never live down the shame.) Ted may have more decency in his side-parting than most officers have in their whole bodies, but he still has his flaws. The stock he puts in loyalty makes him inflexible, and his temper’s a thing to be seen, but the key thing about Ted as a leader is that when he makes a mistake, he owns up to it. We should all be so lucky to have a gaffer like him. LM

Ron Donald – Party Down

Starz’s brilliant comedy Party Down premiered around the same time as classic NBC sitcom Parks and Recreation. As such, Ken Marino’s perpetually stressed boss character Ron Donald didn’t get nearly as much attention as another boss named Ron: Ron Swanson. Let’s be clear, however, nobody would want Ron Swanson as a boss because that means you’d have to regularly interact with a libertarian. Instead, it’s far better to be in the good graces of Ron Donald. This Ron will support your dreams all the while telling you about his own to own a Souper Crackers franchise. AB

Press Gang: How Steven Moffat’s First Show Shaped a Generation

By Rosie Fletcher

Party Down: a US sitcom that richly deserves your time

By Louisa Mellor

Lynda Day – Press Gang

Bit of of a niche one – you probably have to be British and in your 40s to even know who this is – but Lynda Day, played by Julia Sawalha deserves a mention as the youngest boss on the list. Editor of the Junior Gazette, the after school newspaper run by pupils at the heart of Steven Moffat’s very first show she’s an erudite journalist, a ruthless news hound and a self possessed young woman who cares more about being right than about being liked. Lynda isn’t particularly soft or warm but she is a boss who would make you a better writer. You’d strive to please Lynda, want to live up to her incredibly high standards and know that the work you were doing on the paper could actually make a difference. Lynda is all about work ethic and integrity. Small of frame, sharp of tongue, you wouldn’t wanna mess with her, but you know she’ll get shit done. RF

Captain Holt – Brooklyn 99

It says something about a boss when you wouldn’t just walk over hot coals for them, you would also do it for their pet dog. Cheddar the corgi is just one of many reasons to snap your sharpest salute to Captain Raymond “Do Not Call Me Ray Or Use Contractions In My Presence” Holt. Precinct captain of the 99, Holt is a walking yardstick of fine taste, good manners, linguistic clarity and grammatical coherence. Holt values simplicity and despises vulgarity. Do your job and do it right, and you will earn his hard-won respect, perhaps indicated by a very slight incline of the head if he is feeling frivolous. Holt has already earned your respect, for leading an exemplary career as an openly gay NYC cop since 1987, facing down racists, homophobes and the lowest of the low: people who use “What’s up?” as a greeting. Captain Holt’s impossibly high standards are a bar few reach, but to which we can all aspire. LM

Ian Grimm and Poppy Li – Mythic Quest

Mythic Quest creative directors Ian Grimm (Rob McElhenney) and Poppy Li (Charlotte Nicdao) are messes on their own. But when their personalities combine, they create one great boss unit who keeps things moving and keeps things lively. Granted, I wouldn’t want to work for Ian and Poppy as a programmer or dev on the Mythic Quest team because crunch is real (and I also have no such skills). They would make for a great boss team in just about any other industry though. AB

DCI Cassie Stuart – Unforgotten

Some bosses try to impress their status on employees by turning up the volume, but not DCI Cassie Stuart. Everything she does in ITV police drama Unforgotten, from case meetings to suspect interrogations, she does in the same controlled, low voice. It gives her words an intensity that shouting wouldn’t achieve and makes her cold-case murder team lean in to absorb the significance of what she’s saying. Usually, that’s on the theme of how they owe victims answers and are going to find them. Diligent and dedicated, she trusts her team, especially partner Sunny, and is the kind of boss whose praise really means something. A ‘good work’ from her and you’d be walking on air. LM

Conan O’Brien – Conan

This is technically violating the spirit of this thought exercise because Conan O’Brien is not fictional. What he is, however, is a boss…in both the metaphorical and literal sense of the word. No late night talk show host has ever reveled in being the boss of a staff as much as Conan O’Brien has on his shows like Late Night, The Tonight Show, and Conan. He views his role as boss as an opportunity to troll his employees like a corny father torturing his children with dad jokes. Many of Conan’s behind the scenes workers have become stars in their own right, like producer Jordan Schlansky or assistant Sona Movessian. And it’s all because Conan can’t help but want everyone to be involved and having a good time. Just like any great boss would want. AB

Captain Janeway – Star Trek Voyager

Anyone can be a good boss in a thriving workplace, but it takes a person of strong character to stay empathetic, decisive, and focused when everything goes to hell. In the very first episode of Star Trek: Voyager, Captain Janeway is stranded with her crew on the wrong side of the galaxy, 70,000 light years from home. She is tasked with getting not only her Starfleet crew home, but also the remaining members of the Maquis vessel Voyager was trying to capture when they were both pulled into the unexplored Delta quadrant. She does this all without the institutional support of the Federation, and without the certainty that they will ever make it back. It’s not always pretty, and Janeway makes some questionable decisions along the way, but it’s hard to imagine Voyager making it home without Janeway as their tough-as-nails boss. KB

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Ted Lasso Season 2 is available now on Apple TV+

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