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softlyfallinqq · 2 years

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Nev's First [Neville Longbottom Smutshot]

In which you and Nev release some sexual tension.

CW includes pining, nervous and awkward Neville?, light swearing!, Dom!Fem!Reader, Sub!Neville (bc i rarely see this and its not fair like shit, he's such a perfect boy, why wouldn't he be perfect for you too?!?) tit sucking, (slight?)nipple play, praise kink!, hickeys / markings, oral (male receiving), hair pulling, degradation (if you squint like really hard)

Second Person POV (you, your, yours)

Word Count: 1.89k [holy shit 😅]

NSFW BELOW THE CUT! 18+, MDNI!

posted originally august 1st of 2022. edited and fixed mistakes december 14th of the same year.

It has been almost a week since you last saw Neville. Studying for the O.W.L.s had you barely speaking to each other. You were surprised to hear a faint knock at your door. Opening it slowly, you mumbled softly: "Lumos." The tip of your wand revealed a very tired and dejected-looking Neville. "Hello flower..." He waved shyly. "Get in here before you catch a cold, Godric only knows where your slippers went." You say, laughing softly.

"Now, care to tell me why you are in my dorm, past lights-out and looking so upset?" You asked him gently. He nodded. "I missed you, it's awful in Potions without you." His words tumbled out, his gaze on the floor. "Nev, you know I missed you too, right?" Your words were enough to pull his heavy lidded eyes from the rug and look at you hopefully. "You did?" He grinned, his cheeks dimpling slightly. He ran his fingers through his messy brown curls to look at you properly.

"Of course!" You pulled him into a hug, breathing in his earthy aroma for the first time in days. Sighing in relief, you smiled at him. You picked your wand up from where you dropped it to embrace him, rubbing away a dirt mark from his Herbology lessons. He smiled lopsidedly, blushing slightly. "I wanted to talk with you about something." His voice cracked, his words urgent. "Which is what, Longbottom?" You asked gently, coaxing him. "Well, erm... it's kind of- about us..." He pauses, inhaling and exhaling heavily.

"I heard the boys talking the other day, about what they would do.. wh-when they were alone with their p-partners... I w-wanted to ask about... uhm, w-well... W-WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME?!" He blurted, nearly at a normal volume with his anxiety. His face was instantly buried in his hands, a defeated whine emanating from the pile he now was laying in on the floor.

You stood frozen in shock, before dropping to his level. Peeling his hands away from his face slowly, you nodded. "Of course I would, Neville. You know how much you mean to me. I would give anything and everything for you if you asked." You looked at him, intertwining your fingers in his.

"Plain old me? Neville Longbottom, a nobody who's always losing his toad, his Remembrall or anything else. Neville Longbottom, who's parents were- tw-twisted up in the head by Bellatrix Lestrange and lives with his nan? Neville, who's constantly being a shitty student and bullied because he doesn't stand up, because he doesn't speak up, because he doesn't know how anyone could lash out at him, and is afraid of that? You'd share your everything with a coward like me?" "NEVILLE!" You scowled at him, shaking your head. "Don't say things like that.."

"You're smart, you're funny, you're cute, you're cliche, you're everything I could ask for. You bring me flowers, you hold my hand, you write me notes, you bring me presents. Neville, if you were a coward, you'd look a lot like Ron. Can't even drive, can't look at spiders, can't even do Herbology worth a flying fuck. You are amazing to me." You blurted, and crawled into his lap, holding him in a hug. "Don't talk about yourself like that, understand?" He nodded, and murmured into your hair. "You smell so good, love..." You smiled and thanked him, adoring his sleepy distractedness.

He suddenly had a burst of confidence, and swept your hair away from your face and behind your ear. He pressed his lips to your cheek, burning red as he looked away. You were surprised to say the least, he barely could hold hands with you, and he kissed you? You shook your head, and smiled. "You missed." He looked confused. "No I didn't. I was aiming for your—!!" He was cut off when you pulled him to your lips, hands wrapping in his hair. When you pulled away, he looked panicked. "[Name]!" He whisper-shouted.

"I said you missed." You shrugged. He said nothing, holding his fingers to his lips. "What are you doing?" You looked at him, confused. He shook his head, grabbing your chin gently as he gently pulled your mouth to his. Your surprise melted into a smirk, nibbling on his bottom lip. He started slightly, pulling away startled. "What was that for?" He had a very hurt expression, as though you had drop-kicked a potted plant in front of him. "Only messing." You murmured, feeling guilty. "Can I try something?"

"Of cour-" You cut him off once again, with your own quick response. "Just promise me you'll keep quiet." He nodded, and you yanked him to you by his collar, a yelp sounding from him. "Shh!" You grabbed your wand, using a few hexes and silencing spells to make sure no one interrupted you. Slowly, you pulled apart the top buttons of his night-shirt. He grabbed your wrists, in a slight panic. "What.." He trailed off as you opened your mouth. "Your earlier question." You reply flatly, and toss your school robe off, it had been exceptionally cold and you were sure you had a hole in the wall somewhere.

He gawked for a moment, seemingly disciplining himself for staring afterward. You motioned him to join you on your bed, and he could have swore you heard his heart thundering against his chest. Something in him clicked, and his eyes followed you helplessly. He moved slowly, nervous and overwhelmed. Opening your arms to him, you smiled encouragingly. "I don't bite, love. Come here.." He nodded and scrambled onto the bed after a moment. You shifted beside him and turned his face to kiss you. Cupping his cheeks, you sat on your knees and smiled. "You can always tell me to stop. Don't be afraid."

He smiled nervously, copying your motion to cup his face and leaning into your lips. His eyes closed, he was mentally panicking. When your lips moulded together, he relaxed, tasting your vanilla chapstick, mint toothpaste and faintly sweet tongue. He whined softly at the taste of you, face burning as he pulled away. "I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" You only smiled, pressing a finger to his lips. "It's okay. You can go lower, if you want. My neck?" You suggested softly, tilting your head and moving your hair.

Nodding eagerly, his eyes glazed with admiration as he leaned into your neck. All he wanted was to please you, make you happy, but he had no idea what he was doing. He pressed soft kisses to the skin, his warm breath fanning over it and making you shiver. Experimentally, he nipped at your pulse point, earning him a quiet whimper. He went to pull away in a panic, but your fingers in his hair stopped him. "Nev, do that again..." You instructed, though it came out as more of a plea.

His face went pink, and he caged your body with his arms as he continued. His confidence boosted, he worked at your skin faster, sucking and nipping gently as he moved down. You groaned softly, fisting at his hair as he sucked at the valley of your breasts. He whimpered lowly, hips jutting up at the sudden pleasure that shot through him.

"[Name]..." You smiled, shifting your tank top straps off and pushing it from your body. His eyes shamelessly raked over your exposed skin, jaw slightly agape in adoration and curiosity. "Y-You.. your..." He stumbles over his words, and you laugh softly. "Tits?" You supply, and beckon him back to you. He clambers into your lap, retracing his steps. His warm breath fanned over your breasts, and he kissed over the soft skin.

He flicked his tongue over your nipple, and you whined softly. "Neville..." He groaned at the sound of his name falling so lewdly from your lips. He gently sucked and kissed over your tits, gauging your reaction as he went. His erection strained against his night pants, and he bucked his hips frantically to try and ease the ache between his legs for you. Grasping at his hair again, you tugged his face up to look at you. He whined at the loss of your tits, but you shush him quietly.

"Do you need something, darling? Use your words." You coaxed, and he huffed. His face was flushed, hair a mess and his lips glistened with his spit. "Y-You.. I need you.." He moaned lowly as you gripped his curls tighter. "More specific. You have me. What do you want from me? You want me to suck you off? You want my tits?" You suggested, and he nodded fervently. "P-please.. I n-need your mouth.." His face burned in embarrassment and shame, but you only smiled.

"Good boy.." You shifted from beneath him, pulling him to the edge of your bed. Toying with his waistband, you pulled his pajama pants off and settled between his legs. His eyes were wide, and he hissed at the cold air hitting his warm cock. He was painfully hard at this point, tip red and leaky. Precum beaded at his slit, and you gently swiped your thumb over it, putting it into your mouth.

He whimpered softly at the touch, his erection desperately needing attention. You looked up at him innocently as you spit on your hand, gently beginning to stroke him. Immediately, his head fell back, and he let out a rather loud and whiny moan. "Shh, easy." He nodded, blushing furiously at the sight before him. You, on your knees, chest and shoulders littered in blossoming purples and blue-blacks.

His pupils were blown wide, low groans and pleas leaving his lips as you slowed your hand. Looking up at him innocently, you licked a stripe up the side of his dick, following a prominent vein to the underside. His eyes screwed shut and a throaty moan left his lips. "Sh-Shit, [N-Name].." You smiled and took his tip into your mouth, slowly lowering your head. Your nose gently brushed his pubic bone, his happy trail tickling your face slightly. His hips trembled as he resisted the urge to buck into your face.

The second you started moving, he lost it. Whimpering, he was a mess above you. Fingers twisted in the sheets until his knuckles were white, head tossed back, soft moans and pleas leaving his lips. Picking up the pace, you gently flicked your tongue over his slit. His thighs shook, and his breathing was ragged as you pulled away. "N-No, please.." He groaned in frustration. "Hush.. Don't want to be a brat, do you? Ask nicely." You ordered gently, rubbing circles on his inner thighs.

"Pl-Please, let me f-finish, I was s-so close.." He breaks, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. You smile. "That's it, baby." Taking him into your mouth again, you suppressed the urge to gag as he began bucking his hips frantically to chase his high. "F-Feels so good, please, don't stop.." You hum against him, flicking your tongue over his slit. The knot in his stomach snaps, and his seed shoots down your throat. He pulled away from you, concern flooding his eyes. "I'm so sorry, I didn't-" You shake your head. "It's okay. It wasn't bad, relax. Do you feel better?"

He nods, panting softly as he cards through his hair. "Then that's all that matters. I love you."

*sweats nervously* i didn't exactly know how to end this. please don't come after me, this is my first time writing NSFW content. i hope you like it. @shmeddieshmunson is it okay?

#neville x reader #neville longbottom #harry potter smut #harry potter universe #x reader #×reader

592 notes · View notes

coloredscribbli · 1 year

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I posted 1,268 times in 2022

That's 110 more posts than 2021!

209 posts created (16%)

1,059 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@araccoonthatlikesmurder

@leederpfucker

@cyanityinsanity101

@daughterthethird

I tagged 429 of my posts in 2022

#colored chats - 80 posts

#inanimate insanity - 72 posts

#the colored shrine - 57 posts

#colored’s reblogs - 55 posts

#colored's reblogs - 29 posts (wh)

#colored’s doodles - 26 posts

#colored’s faves - 23 posts

#colored’s responses - 19 posts

#colored bliss - 15 posts

#oc tag: velvet scarf - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#when somebody triggers my misophonia i usually go into fight mode instead of flight mode & my family hates me 🥰 (when did i ever tag this)

My Top Posts in 2022:

The lineless roles of a (Chap)man capable of many styles!

[Tags as kin, ID, f/o and the like: OK!]

39 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

Y’ALL READY TO WATCH ME HYPERANALYSE SILVER? NO? IM DOING IT ANYWYAY AND I PROMISE IM NOT STEALIMG OSA WILLOW’S JOB

MAJOR III8 P2 SPOILERS DOWN BELOW

So, I get it. Robow is canon, Testy and Fan made her too. That’s fun and all, very very fun.

I’m more focused on something else, though. Specifically, the scene right before Silver accidentally commits arson. Mostly because of Candle’s expression before Silver pulls out the comically large match, which is as follows.

She looks shocked, as if she never expected Silver to crack the code of an inner flame. Also worth noting that not even a few hours earlier, he had recklessly tried what he had seen last time when looking to unlock his flame.

So the fact he could supposedly put things together in the span of one day just doesn’t make sense.

But at the same time, I think there’s far more to our anxiety riddled friend than meets the eye.

Why? Look at what he’s triggered over the season besides from the inner flame stuff.

He’s led his team to both disarray and redemption, triggered self consciousness in the likes of Yinyang and also self confidence in likes of the Floor. Lifted others up, dragged others down… but look at what happened to who he’s brought down.

Yinyang, while originally severely affected by Silver’s plotting, has actually grown to respect and understand one another thanks to Candle’s guidance and a change of perspective. This doesn’t mean the pair are done yet, not by a long run.

Paintbrush was angered by his actions at first, but they opted to warn him of what’s to come. This led Silver to lift the floor up and secure the pre-rearrange Thinkers safety into this new swap. And Paintbrush, not expecting their actions to get through to him and lead to his advisor status, got shocked by this.

And now Clover. Silver’s words had stuck with Nickel, leading to him calling Clover out. Yet Silver seemed to be indifferent about Clover after his outburst, as he hasn’t been shown to interact with her further. Yet Silver’s actions had led up to Clover exiting the game not even a few minutes later.

So without a doubt, there’s more to come for Silver. There’s his true inner flame that has potential to shine through, ongoing situations such as Balloon maybe getting through to him… I get a feeling Silver may wind up on a Microphone level of development in one way or another. Just without a Taco-like backup

39 notes - Posted April 29, 2022

Things in II that I like:

- silver’s canon anxiety

- the implications that lifering has some kind of trauma, presumably to multitask

-TK’s likely empty nesting thingo

- goo being the autism creature

43 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

@evbobevisgoinginsane

you dare assume the case is sleeping on the grass? lies, as you can see here she is very comfy and happy /lh

52 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Lineless swagging

[Tag as kin/id/me: OK!]

61 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

Can't believe Tumblr said Pinkers supremacy.

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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myraelvira · 3 years

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Where Is Robert Sands?

Robert Lewis (or Louis) Sands was born sometime around 1926. He is described as having been around 5’8” to 5’10” and anywhere from 150 to 200 pounds. He had brown hair, though his eye color and other details are not listed on his profile on namus. His case is the oldest one listed in the state of Tennessee on the website.

Robert went missing around August 24th, 1960 from Friendship, Tennessee. At the time, he was 34 years old. On namus, the date of last known contact is stated as also being unknown, so it seems that the August 24th date is more approximate than accurate. It also states that his mother lost contact with him in the early 60’s. There are not any comparisons to his case on namus.

The circumstances of his disappearance are unknown. A google search for any information on him is even harder. The only real post I came across on the internet about him, was a facebook post by the ‘Tennessee Missing and Unsolved’, which went a bit more into his background.

It states:

“Robert Sands is the oldest missing person's case listed on Namus for the state of Tennessee.

Some of you may recall that we shared his story on here in October, 2017. That post stayed pretty quiet until August 2018, when we were contacted by a lady saying that she was looking for her Grandfather by the same name and similar timeline.

After comparing pictures and birth certificates of both Daughters, it was determined that these two women were without a doubt looking for the same man. Neither of them knew a whole lot about Robert as he had left both of them while they were very young and neither were left with anyone to really tell them much about him.

It was decided that both of these sweet Ladies would do Ancestry DNA in hopes of finding more family members that could help provide answers as to what happened to their Father. The results shocked us all! We learned that their DNA did not match. They both went on to find that neither of them was biological daughters of Robert Sands.

Yes, Robert Sands was married to both of their Mothers and not only was he listed on both birth certificates, they both have pictures of Robert Sands.

Unfortunately, this also means that the DNA namus has on file for Mr. Robert Sands is not accurate. Yes, the case manager has now been notified.

Though his Daughters are not biological children of his, they both wish to learn about who he was and what happened to him. He was the only daddy either knew.

We have learned a few details about his life prior to his disappearance, I am hoping that something here will "ring a bell" with someone that may have known him.

Robert Sands had lived in Utah where he was married to Karen Sands, their daughter was born in 1956. Robert and Karen separated, that is when Robert left Utah for good. Their Daughter's birth certificate has his name spelled "Robert Louis Sands". According to the information he provided, he was born in Los Angeles, California. His age is listed as 29 years old, and his profession on there was listed as a cook. Karen Sands was later murdered in Salt Lake City, Utah while she was 8 months pregnant by her boyfriend. Nobody knows if Robert ever received the news of Karen's death as he never returned for his daughter.

In 1957 Robert Sands married Lavenia Sue Weeks, their daughter was born in 1958 at St. Mary's hospital for women, in Madison, Wisconsin. When they separated Lavenia later moved to TN with their daughter. The daughter does recall Robert coming to visit and her Mother acting as if she was fearful that Robert would take her away. The last visit the daughter remembers ended with her being sent to her room while Robert and Lavenia had what seemed to her as a serious conversation. The last visit would have occurred in the early 60's, the daughter never saw Robert again. Lavenia eventually made a post in the newspaper that ran around 6 weeks so that she could obtain a divorce from Robert Sands. This same Daughter continued to ask questions and look for her father for years. Her Maternal Grandmother told her that her daddy always loved her very much. Lavenia was not supportive of the Daughter's search for answers but she never told her that Robert was not her Father. Lavenia did once tell their daughter that Robert Sands was not his real name, she said that she could not recall his real name because it was very hard to pronounce, whether this is true or not is unknown.

The Daughter of Lavenia and Robert would go on searching for answers. She contacted the Crockett Co Sheriff's Office in TN, to have him officially reported missing. Robert was entered into Namus and a DNA sample from this daughter was collected. The Crockett County Sheriff's Office told her this year that Robert was never officially entered as missing. She also went to the Social Security Office in hopes of finding information, they wouldn't give her much to go on but they did say that his social had not been used for work since the 60's.

The known places of work for Robert Sands are as follows. "The Hoffman Brothers" which was either located in Madison Wisconsin or Rockford Illinois. "The Madison Club" located in Madison Wisconsin, which is where the picture in the chef hat with the cake was took. "The Holiday Inn" in Memphis, TN.

Over the years many thoughts have come to mind.

Could Robert Sands have had ties to the Mob? A daughter recalls a vague memory of being told that their phone was tapped among other things. The other daughter says her Grandmother referred to him as a horse thief.

Could Robert Sands have been in service? The daughter was told that he was going blind from a war injury. It is unknown if this was just an answer given by her Grandmother to help ease her after his disappearance.

Did he know neither Daughter was biologically his? They both have pictures of them holding them and appearing to be a happy Father but one does have to question the chances of the same man unknowingly marrying two pregnant women within such a short period of time.

The only thing certain at this point is that both Daughters still want answers about Robert's identity and disappearance.

Can you help solve this mystery? If you have any knowledge of Robert Sands, please reach out and let us know.

We can be contacted here Tennessee Missing and Unsolved. You may also reach us by email at [email protected]. If you prefer to call or text we are available anytime at 615-556-0534. “

Beyond that, there is next to no information on Robert Sands. I did my own investigating, and at first didn’t seem to come across anything. I looked on family search for any sort of census records, but I wasn’t sure if all of the people named ‘Robert Sands’ that popped up were him. So I went over to my favorite website, Find a Grave. There, I looked up people named Robert Sands, and came across over 300 results. Having read the facebook post, I thought about how his social security number hadn’t been used since the 60’s. So I checked for every Robert Sands that would have died in America, sometime in the 60’s, and really only had a few results. Even still, I was unsure.

The facebook post had three interesting points that I wanted to search upon. First, was the fact that he potentially had a war injury, as one of the girls’ grandmother stated that he was going blind. This may have actually been true, because if Robert had been 34 years old at the time of his disappearance, then he would have been born in 1926. If this was true, then that would mean he very likely fought in WWII. Having had grandparents born in that 20’s that fought in the war, it doesn’t seem unlikely at all.

The second point that I wanted to look into, was the fact that his name, or rather his real name, was described as having been hard to pronounce. One of the things that I thought of when first reading the case, was that perhaps he changed his name. Perhaps, “Robert Sands” was an Americanized version of some sort of European name. I once again speak from experience, having had ancestors that changed their Polish last name to something way more easy to pronounce. I figured perhaps he had a very Slavic or even Italian name.

Third, I wanted to look up any sort of information on his first wife that died. The post on facebook stated that Karen Sands died not long after her relationship with Robert. I was curious if there was any information or news articles on her supposed murder.

While doing my investigating, I wanted to leave no stone unturned, of course. I wanted to look up as many “Robert Sand”s from that time period as I could. Just to make sure that he did or did not keep that name for the rest of his life. I was assuming that any public information about him, would of course be from before the 60’s, probably from the 40’s at best since the US Census doesn’t release census records until over 70 years later (which is incredibly unhelpful for missing persons cases).

While looking on family search, I came across a “Robert Clyde Sands” that had allegedly died in 1964. He was buried in Lynnville, TN, at the Lynnville Cemetery. The little snippet stated that he was born on October 2nd, 1926 and had died on June 2nd, 1964. The small bio stated that there was information listed about this person on find a grave, though when I clicked the link, it stated that the profile had been deleted. I am unsure why, and not sure if maybe this was even a real person.

I then searched for any Robert that would have died between 1960-1969, seeing that his social security number hadn’t been used since the 60’s. There was a listing for a Robert Sands that passed away in a California death index, though it doesn’t state how he died. Just that it was on September 25th, 1965. It is unknown how old this Robert was either. There was a similar California listing with a Robert Sands that died on December 10th, 1964. There were multiple Robert Sands that died in the 60’s, though I didn’t always get a birth year. It is hard to delineate who was who because one person could have been 25, and another 55.

When I looked on find a grave, I came across two Robert Sands that died in the 60’s, who I thought were of interest. One was Robert Sands that passed away on September 25th, 1965. I assume this must be the same Robert that was listed in that California death index. Robert was born in 1919 though, so the age doesn’t really match up. He was a corporal in the military, during WWII, and had been married to a woman named Virginia Sands, who has also passed away. Even though close, because of the military affiliation, I didn’t think he was it.

The second Robert Sands on find a grave was one born on April 28th, 1924. He died at the age of 38 on November 25th, 1962. This Robert was buried in Athens County Memory Gardens in Ohio. He also served in the military during WWII, and was a Tec 4 (a now defunct rank) in the 216 Medical Battalion. Even though this Robert has his parents and a child linked to his find a grave profile, there is no spouse listed. I am unsure if this would be the right Robert.

I looked up Robert's first wife, Karen Sands on find a grave. She was one of the first results to pop up. Karen had been born on December 20th, 1933 in Salt Late City, Utah. She died on March 11th, 1959 in Marray, Utah, from shock and internal hemorrhage during childbirth. Unlike the facebook post that stated she was murdered for some reason, Karen died in the hospital, and the child was stillborn. He was buried with Karen in the same coffin.

Interestingly, Karen’s bio on find a grave lists Robert Sands as having been her husband. And in quotations next to his name, it states (aka Louis Rogato).

Taking this lead, I typed in ‘Louis Rogato’ into find a grave. There was only 1 entry. The man named Louis J. Rogato was born on July 1st, 1926. He died on January 2nd, 2017 at the age of 90. He is buried at Delano Cemetery in Delano, Minnesota. There are no relatives listed in his profile. No description in his bio. The one and only picture of his grave states that he was in the Army during WWII.

I went back to family search, and tried to find anything with the Louis Rogato name. When I entered in the birth year of 1926, almost all of the results seemed to be of the same person. There was information about his military history, that stated he had been born in Alabama, completed 4 years of high school, was a private first class in the army, and served in the medical department. The ‘event place’ happened in Ft. Lewis, Washington, and he was enlisted for the ‘Hawaiian Department’. Interestingly, this record also states that he was married at the time. This marriage is what I assume to be to a person named ‘Billie Louise Keller’, where it is stated that they got married on December 2nd, 1944. At some point, the two divorced, as Billie’s family tree shows another husband, and Louis Rogato’s shows more wives in his records.

In the marriage license to Billie, it states that both the bride and groom were 20 years old, in 1944. So Louis’ birth date would really be 1924. The certificate also stated that his father was from Italy, which confirms the Italian last name, which may have been hard to pronounce for some people back then. If he wasn’t lying back then too.

Louis Rogato married multiple times, with a divorce record from November 2nd, 1970 stating that he had split up with his ex wife Arlene R Lindstrom. Arlene seemed to be quite younger than him, as she was born in 1940, and 30 at the time of the divorce, while Louis was 44 years old. Unfortunately, this record does not state when the marriage initially took place and how long it lasted.

There is another marriage record that states that Louis married a woman named Pearl Marie Brown in 1948, in Thurston, Washington. The marriage is dated as January 17th, 1948. It is unknown how long this marriage lasted, and when it ended in divorce.

One divorce in particular that I find perplexing, is one from January 12th, 1971. This records states that Louis had been married to a Rosemarie Sands, who had been born in 1933. Even though his age is estimated to have been 41 at the time, I think that this is a piece of information that we can’t ignore. If this woman was named “Rosemarie Sands”, perhaps this is the ‘Robert Sands’ that we’re looking for? Now, a similar record states that Rosemarie Sands died on March 1st, 2001. But when I searched for her on find a grave, I couldn’t find her. I’m unsure if she took another name later on in life.

According to records, on July 2nd, 1971, Louis got married to a Suzanne M Weiland. She was 24 years old at the time, having been born in 1947. This would have made him about 45. The two were married in Ramsey, Minnesota.

Beyond this, there is no other information that I can find about Robert Sands or Louis Rogato. Personally, I think that these two people were the same person, even more so that despite Rogato’s death in 2017, there is no obituary for him. At least, no one that I can find online. His multiple marriages as Louis Rogato alone reminds me a lot of Donald Lee Laisure. I’m not sure why some people turn into serial daters, but Rogato was one of them. What is most interesting and slightly disturbing to me, is how Rogato would constantly get married to girls a lot younger than him.

Karen and Rosemarie Sands were born in 1933. This would have made Robert/Rogato 7 years older than them. Arlene Lindstrom was born in 1940. Rogato would have been 14 years older than her. Suzanne was born in 1947. Rogato was 21 years older than her.

Despite all of the marriage information, and even proof of death through his find a grave, there is not one picture of Louis Rogato. There is no obituary. This prompts me to think that he was a person that did not want to be found. It might sound crazy that an elderly person at the ago of 90 was still potentially avoiding people. But you never know. There is so much that we don’t know, that we can only leave things up to speculation.

If Robert Sands was Louis Rogato, then why did he leave his children behind? What prompted him to get married to two women that didn’t even have his children? Though anecdotal, I think a part of it was because of our culture at the time. It was extremely bad for a woman to have a child out of wedlock. I don’t know anything about Karen Sands’ character, and I don’t want to detract from it. But maybe she got pregnant by another man and married Robert to essentially save face. According to her obituary, she was a mormon, which are well known for strict traditional practices. As to why both daughters had the surname by him, if I understand correctly, during the midcentury when a woman married another man, the children would take the last name of the step father. I am only speaking from what I have read, and an example of this would actually be Joe Walsh of the Eagles, whose mother did the same thing after his biological father passed away.

Some people might be wondering what Robert Sands was running from. What did he leave for? Well, if he was really Louis Rogato, perhaps he got bored. It seems that he constantly went from relationship to relationship, and couldn’t ever settle down. Perhaps he had a few children along the way, and might have went back to using his original name of Louis Rogato, so that he could avoid child support. I don’t know. This is all speculation.

I didn’t think that this missing persons case would turn into something like this. I really thought that it would just be something short and an unfortunate low information mystery. But the more I researched it, the more it reminded me of my own grandfather. Who was never in my life, and just about non existent in my dad’s. A person that is still alive to this day, even though elderly, but refuses to contact any of his family. But this is detracting from the main point at hand.

At the end of the day, we don’t know what happened to Robert Sands. And we’ll never know. We’ll never know the true story. Many of the people that would remember him are not here today. If Robert really was this Louis Rogato from Minnesota, he seemed to have done a very good job at making himself unknown. Even if they aren’t the same people, I can’t help but wonder why Louis Rogato lived his life that way. It’s even more curious to me that a person could live to 90, and not even have an obituary about it. No family, no friends to at least say something about it online.

Robert seemed to be like some sort of drifter. Nobody seems to know where they were going, and nobody knows where Robert went.

[POST SCRIPT]

I decided to look for the graves of Louis Rogato's father, who is named as "Russell Rogato" on the marriage license to Billie from 1944. It seems that Russell does have a profile on find a grave, though his spouse is not linked. I am unsure of where Louis' mother may be buried. If this is the right Rogato, perhaps the only way to check if he and Louis Rogato from Minnesota are related would be exhuming the bodies. Not that I advocate for this, since I know nothing about either of these people, and their potential living family members today. It is simply just an idea.

While editing my video, it also clicked that Robert Sands' middle name was Louis. Perhaps an homage to his legal name of Louis Rogato? It seems all too likely that these people have similar names.

[SOURCES]

https://www.namus.gov/MissingPersons/Case#/17201?nav

https://www.crimewatchers.net/threads/robert-lewis-sands-missing-from-friendship-tn-24-aug-1960-age-34.998/

https://www.facebook.com/TNMissingUnsolved/posts/1761834383923310

http://files.usgwarchives.net/ca/nevada/military/ww2/enlistment/armyenli110gmt.txt

#robert sands #missing people #missing persons #louis rogato

3 notes · View notes

angelic-holland · 5 years

Text

Familiar // th x fem!reader

Summary: you’re a famous youtuber invited to interview the Far From Home cast, what nobody outside you and people close to you know, you’re already dating one of them.

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: smut, fluff

A/N: this request was really fun to write! Some is written in Tom’s pov, some parts are flashbacks and some italics are youtube comments. Bold words are texts

“Hey what’s up folks! Today is the day of packing and moving! That’s right! I’m moving flats! And in my new place, drum roll please,” you say, hand not holding the camera hitting your thigh to imitate a drum roll, “I’ll have an actual filming room! No more filming at my bed or desk, I’ve got a real office where I’ll get to put in bookshelves and the works!”

You are sitting with your legs crossed on your bed, letting your subscribers in on a little life update of yours.

Of course you wouldn’t tell them who you were moving in with, you and Tom were planning on going public soon, but you both wanted to wait until the hype from Far From Home died down, with a little less than a month from its release, you had some time before you revealed to your 8 million subscribers that your boyfriend was the one and only Tom Holland.

“So yeah, I might not be as active while I’m moving this week but be on the look out for a video about everything right about Avengers Endgame tomorrow with a special announcement! Alright, I’ll see you all later!” You blow a kiss to the camera, ending the video.

You get to work uploading the quick video to your YouTube channel before packing away the rest of your clothes. Your books and comics all were packed away and waiting for Harrison who was bringing by his car to help you pack. Tom would be in London tomorrow but Harrison was around to help the start of your move since your lease ended tomorrow. Your bed was being sold tomorrow morning, the rest of your furniture already sold, everything you needed was at Tom and Harrison’s flat, Tom’s bed now your own, which sent an excited shiver down your spine. Tom wanted to buy you new bookshelves and a desk for your filming space, which you graciously accepted, excited to see what he was going to pick out while you were putting away your clothes.

The last of your clothes were packed away by later that day and you were sitting on your bed eating pizza while scrolling through your Instagram.

Tom had posted something on his Instagram story and you excitedly opened it, he was sitting on a plane, head lightly resting against the window while he spoke.

“Hey guys, I’m on my way to London right about now, very excited to see all my friends and family again, got some interviews but I’ll also be hanging out with friends, doing a little redecorating, so I probably won’t be online that much, but thank you for all your support and I can’t wait for you all to see Far From Home July 2nd in theatres!”

You smile at the sound of his voice before your phone rings, making you sit up and throw your pizza box out, answering the phone as you unlock your front door.

“Hey, my cars parked out front, I’ll be up to your flat in a second okay?” Harrison says.

“Sounds good, I’ll start dragging boxes towards the elevator.”

You and Harrison figured out how to stop the elevator, it was late at night and most people were already home. You were able to stack a good portion of your books and comics into the first trip down, dragging them out to his car and piling them into the trunk and backseat.

“Next trip should just about get everything then,” you sigh as you sit in the front seat as Harrison drives away.

“Are you gonna miss this place?”

“Nah,” you shake your head, “just excited about the new place. Thanks for letting me move in.”

“I’m almost never there anyways, might as well put the rest of the flat to good use when I’m gone.”

“Thanks,” you sigh and the trip to Tom and Harrison’s flat, now yours as well, was quiet as you listened to music.

He pulls into the parking lot of their building and slips on the hood of his sweatshirt, “don’t want anyone spotting us,” he laughs, “imagine Tom getting off the plane to rumors that famous YouTuber y/n y/l/n and Harrison Osterfield are dating?”

“He’d lose his god damn mind,” you laugh as you start hauling the boxes up the stairs.

“That’s the last thing he needs right now. Besides, it’ll look weird when you two are spotted in public after Tom’s movie is done in theatres.”

“True,” you giggle as you place your boxes in the empty office area, neither of the boys used it so it was the perfect space for everything you had for filming.

“Ready for the next trip?”

You nod and the two of you make your way back to your flat and you say goodbye to your home from the past four years, you started your YouTube channel here, you celebrated your million subscriber milestone here, you kissed Tom at your front door for the first time, you had sex for the first time on the bed you were selling, you sighed contently remembering all the good memories from this flat, excited to make new ones at your new home.

As you settled into Tom’s bed later that night, correction, Tom and your bed, you send a quick text to him, so he would see it when he landed tomorrow morning.

All moved in, can’t wait to greet you at our flat tomorrow, love ya x

You plug your phone in, body curling up around his pillow, soft and it smelled just like him. You let the waves of sleep overcome you as you dreamed about reuniting with Tom.

You woke up a little confused, a strong pair of arms around your waist, head resting on your shoulder, “wh-, Tom,” you mumble as his lips trail along your skin.

“Missed you pretty girl,” he sighs, fingers running up and down your skin below your tank top.

“Missed you more,” you grin as he maneuvers the two of you so you’re straddling his hips.

“Show me,” he smiles sleepily and you nod, head meeting his as his fingers make quick work of pulling your panties to the side, swiping through your slick folds as you moaned into his mouth, his tongue mapping out your mouth. It’s been awhile, too long, since he’s been here, with you and you missed every single part of him.

Including this, his thumb rubbing your clit as your chests met, your hard nipples aching to be touched. Trying to be close in every way imaginable before he was whisked away again.

One of your hands trail down to his hard cock trapped beneath his sweatpants, your hands bump into each other as you both work on helping get the other off. In the beginning it would’ve awkward, you would’ve moved your hand and blushed because you felt like you were clunky. Now it was easy, each time the knuckles of his hand grazed your own you shivered into his mouth, grinning as your hand slipped into his sweatpants and grasped his hard cock, Tom grunting against you.

He had three fingers inside you, thumb rubbing your clit as you jerked him off, hand moving a little faster when you approached your high.

“Fuck, Tom, make me come,” you whine against his lips.

“Always,” He says, kissing you deeply as you come, catching your broken moans while he slips his fingers out of you, helping you sit up and rub his cock against your entrance.

“Fuck, missed this,” he groans as you seat yourself fully on his cock, “missed you.”

His strong hands hold your hip, thumb drawing circles on the skin between your tank top and panties, sending more shivers down your spine and goosebumps along your arms.

“Are you cold?” He laughs as you nod, your hips moving faster, positioning yourself so his cock is hitting your g-spot with each stroke.

“Fuck,” you grunt, legs shaking with exertion as his cock twitches inside of you.

“Missed your lips,” he mumbles against them before kissing along your jaw.

“Missed your neck,” he says before biting down softly and soothing the spot with his tongue, careful to make sure it doesn’t leave a mark.

“Missed these,” he mumbles as he pinches your nipples above your tank top sending yet another shiver down your spine.

“Missed you the most though,” he kisses you as you come, sending him into a blissful orgasm, his cock twitching as he empties into you.

“Love you,” you whisper as you lay on his chest, both of you catching your breathes.

He starts to laugh, deep in the gut laugh that shakes both of you.

“What’s so funny?” You ask, you can’t help but laugh with him.

“We’re both still wearing clothes,” he helps the two of you sit up, his cock slipping out of you before helping you stand.

“Shower?”

“Yes, lemme get the all clear, make sure Harrison’s in his room.”

You nod and he kisses you quick before slipping out of his room, your room.

“Nope, nope, I absolutely do not want to hear the both of you having shower sex.”

“Harrison come on, we’re just going to shower mate,” Tom says and you peep your head out of the door.

“It’s true, the first and only time we ever attempted shower sex, I dislocated my shoulder and was in a sling for three weeks.”

“Thought you fell down the stairs?”

“Cover story, can’t really tell my subscribers that I slipped and fell while on my boyfriend’s dick and we both collapsed on the floor of the shower.”

“That’s a fun party story though,” Harrison laughed and you waited until he closed his door before meeting Tom in the hallway, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you into him, kissing you as he walked backwards into the bathroom.

***

“Do we really need to wait until August to tell everyone?” Tom sighs as the water from the shower falls above you.

“Well, it would be a little weird if people saw the interview after we told everyone about us? They’d say I got it because I’m dating you, and I mean, I’m sure even when we eventually tell people we’re together, they say the same thing, but I’d like people to be kind for now.”

“Why’d they be anything but kind?”

“I dunno, I guess I’m afraid they’ll be mean, I get stupid hate and stuff now, but nowhere near the level I might get, you know when people find out about us.”

“I’m sure you’ll have some angry fans, mad they can’t be dating you,” Tom teases as his hands massage your shoulders, yours washing the shampoo out of your hair.

“I just, I love you and I know things will be different and I’d like things to stay the same, at least for a little while.”

“We can navigate it together, promise blackbird.”

The rest of the day you spend unpacking your clothes while Tom goes shopping. You tried to insist that you could get the bookshelves and desk, that he must’ve been exhausted from the flight and should relax.

“I’d want nothing more than to pick out those for your workspace, promise,” he smiled before kissing you like he’s never kissed you before and then kissing you for longer before you shoved him out the door.

You’re listening to music as you put away clothes, cleaning up Tom’s messy room while you do, organizing his clothes on one side of the closet as well as the dresser.

He gets home a few hours later, Harrison helping him bring the boxes up.

“Hey blackbird, I know your other bookshelves were small but they didn’t fit much of anything so I sort of got bigger ones, they’ll take a little longer to put together but I don’t mind.”

“Okay bubs, wanna get some takeaway and get started?”

“Thai?” He says, placing the last box in your office space.

“Excellent, I’ll give them a call,” you pull out your phone as Tom opens up the first box, your desk, a sleek dark brown. He pulls out the pieces and instructions as you sink to the ground next to him.

You give the takeout place you and Tom’s order before resting your chin on Tom’s shoulder as he attempts to read the directions.

“These look confusing.”

“We can figure them out,” you say, hands running down his arms as he squints at the directions, turning them over in his hands.

“Okay, I think this is the right side up.”

“The fact that it’s only pictures so be illegal,” you sigh as Tom’s hands put the directions down and reach for the big flat desk part, turning it upside down and grabbing the first set of screws.

“I should get a screwdriver,” he says, you sit back as he stands up and you unwrap the legs of the desk.

Tom comes back and you turn your phone on, letting music play softly as you both sit and get to work, Tom adding screws to the top of the desk while you get the legs ready.

Tom’s humming and singing to the Beatles playlist you’ve got on and you can’t help but smile at how pretty his voice is.

“You know, if you ever get bored of this whole acting thing, singing might not be a bad career choice.”

He laughs, head tilted back as he pushes the first leg into the desk as you stand up.

The first few chords of a familiar song played in the background.

“C’mere blackbird, it’s our song,” he says, resting the top of the desk on the ground and holding out his hand.

You place yours on top of his and let him spin you around, coming back to rest your arms around his neck, his fitting perfectly around your waist as you swayed around the room, full of boxes with your favorite books and comics.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night,” Tom sings softly, forehead pressed against your own as you both reminisce on how the two of you met.

Tom was walking Tessa in the park, it was fairly empty so he let her off the leash, tossing the tennis ball around.

He noticed a girl in a T-shirt and jean skirt reading a book under a large oak tree. Tessa must’ve noticed her too because when he threw the tennis ball, Tessa picked it up with her mouth and sprinted over to the tree, tossing it in the lap of the girl who set her book down, head tossed back in a laugh as Tessa’s front legs stood on her lap, the girl’s hands petting Tessa as Tom ran over.

“Tess, what’re you doing?”

“She’s adorable,” the girl giggles while Tessa licks her face.

And you’re adorable, Tom thinks, head tilting to look at her T-shirt, some sketch of a bird on it.

“Sorry about that,” Tom says, crouching down to attach Tessa’s leash again.

“No problem at all, I adore dogs,” she smiles and she’s absolutely stunning, the afternoon sunlight illuminating the freckles speckled across her cheeks.

“Well, uh, again, sorry,” Tom says, stumbling backwards over his own feet as he pulls Tessa away.

“No worries,” she smiles as Tom leaves, eyes watching as Tom walks away, laughing to herself quietly before picking up her book.

The next day Tom was grabbing coffee at a cafe with Harrison when he spotted the same hairstyle and freckles standing off to the side by a table covered with books, a laptop, and several notebooks.

He took a deep breath, hyping himself up as he thought of what to say to catch her attention in the busy cafe.

“Hey! Blackbird!”

What the fuck Tom?

That was the bird on her shirt from yesterday right?

A few people turned their heads to him, including her.

He sighed as she had a brief moment of recognition in her eyes.

“boy from the park,” she smiles as he crosses towards her.

“Didn’t think I’d see you again. Well since you’re here, maybe I could grab you some coffee? As an apology for Tess jumping on you?”

“I actually-,”

“Y/N!” One of the baristas called out and she tilted her head towards the drink on the counter.

“Already got one,” she picks up the drink, setting it on her table, “but maybe you could get the next one for me?”

“Huh?”

Oh, oh she understood what he was saying and was inviting him to ask her out.

Smooth Tom, real smooth.

“You know? A coffee date?” She asked, cheeks red as she sat down.

“Oh! Yeah, yes, I’d love that,” he nods.

He stands there, hands shoved in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his feet for a few seconds, looking like an idiot while she stared at him expectedly.

“Oh, uh, do you want to give me your phone number or something?” He asks, pulling his phone out and opening it, setting up the ‘new contact’ page.

He sets the phone on top of one of her notebooks and she picks it up, quickly typing into it before handing it back.

“It was a mockingbird actually,” she says as he starts to back away, wanting to let her get whatever work she needed to do done.

“What?”

“My shirt, from yesterday, a mockingbird.”

“Oh, oh, I’m not exactly a bird connoisseur,” Tom laughs.

“It’s okay, I like blackbirds more anyways,” she giggles and Tom’s entranced.

“Well uh, just text me, lemme know the next time you’re free?”

He nods quickly, “Yeah, uh, see you again soon hopefully,” he trips over his feet as he walks back to Harrison.

“Okay Mr. smooth,” Harrison chuckles. Tom looks down at the new contact added into his phone.

‘Blackbird’

The song ends and Tom kisses your forehead before you both settle back and finish putting together the desk.

After a few cartons of Thai, an album or two of Beatles, and a few mishaps, the two bookshelves stood tall against the opposite wall to the desk.

“I’m so fucking tired,” Tom sighs and you look back at him, both of you shoving the cardboard into a single box to go out to the trash later.

“Babe, told you you should’ve rested, one of the only days you get off before you’re back doing press.”

“I’d want nothing than to spend today here with you. Speaking of press, you excited to interview your favorite MCU cast member tomorrow?”

“Jacob? Hell yeah, I’m pumped,” you joke as Tom scoffs in fake annoyance.

“But seriously, are your followers freaking out?”

“Oh fuck you’re right, forgot that my video announcement was queued for today. Lemme check,” you say excitedly, Tom following you out of the office to your bedroom. Every single time you thought of it being your bedroom, your heart fluttered in excitement.

You sit down on the bed with your laptop, patting the space next to you, where Tom proceeds to collapse on his back, fingers tapping along your leg as you open your laptop and check your video, released four hours ago.

A plethora of comments chimed in, mostly asking if you were excited to meet the cast, one comment made you laugh, so hard you hunched over and there were tears in your eyes.

she’s hot but she better stay the fuck away from Tom, he’s the internets boyfriend and the internets boyfriend only

Tom sat up and read the comment, chuckling as he kissed your shoulder, “whaddya think they’ll say when they find out that I’m not only the internet’s boyfriend but also yours?”

“Probably a lot of heart attacks, they can get over themselves though,” you sigh, scrolling past it to more excited and positive comments.

***

The next day, Tom had to leave early for a long day of interviews, yours right after lunch. You took an Uber to the building the interviews were held in. The night before Tom and you talked about being careful during the interview, making sure to act like you’ve just met, like you haven’t been dating for a year and a half.

You’re thrown into hair and makeup by the press managers, you were wearing your jean skirt, the same skirt you wore the very first time you met Tom and Spiderman T-shirt, very on brand for your YouTube channel about books and comics.

You were given several index cards with questions, told to introduce yourself to the cast, shake their hands, sit down and get started asking questions.

You weren’t nervous as you walked into the interview room, lights bright and shining on the three seats with Tom, Jacob, and Zendaya.

You’ve met both Jacob and Zendaya before when they were here to film Far From Home. They all smiled when they saw that it was you coming in for the interview.

You walked over and shook their hands, Jacob first who gave you a cheeky smile, giving the obligatory, “what’s your name?”

“Y/N,” you say as you move onto Tom next and fuck who allowed him to wear what he was wearing, striped shirt, patterned pants that made his thighs look so good you just wanted to throw everyone else out of the room and-

“Nice to meet you,” Tom interrupts your dirty thoughts as he sticks his hand out.

You shake it, “you too,” you manage to get out, cheeks reddening a little.

He laughed at your slightly flustered state and you couldn’t help but lightly roll your eyes at your boyfriend.

You move onto Zendaya, she shakes your hand, a glint of humor in her eyes from watching you and Tom trying to interact like you didn’t know each other.

You settle back into the chair directly opposite of Tom and cross your legs, looking down at the index cards. You’re about to start with the first question, all insanely generic and you wish you could have written your own questions when Tom cuts you off.

“Nice shirt, Spiderman your favorite superhero darling?”

You watched as he bit his tongue and was internally kicking himself, which made you giggle slightly, “sure, he’s pretty okay.”

“Just okay?”

“Maybe this movie will make me fall in love with him,” you say and Tom fights the urge to taunt you back.

He bites his lip and nods, eyes roaming your body before you bring it back to the questions.

“What was your favorite filming location?” You ask and look back up at the three people in front of you expectedly.

“I really loved Venice, the location was just gorgeous, would love to go back there someday,” Jacob responds.

“Can’t lie, I really loved going to each and every location but I think my favorite had to be London, you know? Not just cause we’re doing interviews here, but because it’s such a great location,” Zendaya adds.

“I’m gonna agree, I think London was my favorite filming location. One because it’s my home and I got to see so many of my friends and family there,” Tom answers smiling with a glimmer of reminisce of the times. You’d sneak onto the filming location to bring him a coffee or food that wasn’t from the set, he’d kiss you quickly whenever the coast was clear, both of your hearts racing and terrified that someone would see you. Nobody ever did, but the thought alone back then scared you.

It did now as well, gauging from the reactions to your video, some people just would not be happy, but there wasn’t much you could do about it.

“London’s pretty nice, yeah,” you look at the next question and almost roll your eyes, so boring.

But you couldn’t go off script because Sony and Marvel invited you and they wanted the press and the fans that came with putting the video up on your channel. So they got to make the questions, got the free extra publicity from your channel, and you got a nice fat paycheck.

Everyone won.

“Who is your favorite superhero from the Marvel Cinematic Universe?”

You know all of them are going to say Iron Man so you weren’t surprised when Jacob said it and Zendaya and Tom nodded and murmured along in agreement.

“And who might your favorite superhero in the MCU be bl-,” Tom started but his eyes widened and you cut him off, blackbird, he was going to slip up and expose the two of you.

“Thought we already went through this Tom, it’s Spiderman,” you grin as he settles back into his seat, a wave of calm rushing over the both of you at your save.

“Right, of course, who doesn’t love me,” he nods into a smirk as he sits back in his chair.

“Said I liked Spiderman, nothing about you pretty boy,” it easily slipped out of your mouth, teasing and flirting was second nature around Tom.

Both of you get lost into each other’s eyes for a moment before you snap back into the reality, did you just blow everything up?

You pick up with the questions again, acting like nothing happened, “so, Far From Home picks up where Endgame left off, will we get to see the reactions of your characters at the aftermath of the snap and everyone coming back?”

“Spoilers!” Jacob jokes, all of you laughing.

“I mean yeah, we get to see firsthand what happens when you lose Earth’s best defender,” Zendaya responds.

“Yeah I think one of the coolest things in this movie is getting to see how everyone adjusts to losing Tony Stark, losing Iron Man, as well as seeing it from the perspective of high schoolers,” Tom finishes.

“Great, well that’s all the questions I have for you all, thank you so much for having me,” you say, smiling widely before turning to the camera angled behind them to address your subscribers when you eventually edit the video, “and go see Spiderman: Far From Home! In theatres July 2nd! Hope to see you there!”

“Cut, nice job, thank you y/n. Tom, Zendaya, Jacob, you’ve got five before the next interview. Tom immediately pulls his phone out as he gives you a look before you’re ushered away from the actors and into the dressing room where your phone and purse were sitting.

You grab your phone and smirk at the text from Tom.

Tom: don’t think we were too subtle

You: we’re idiots

You sigh as you slip out the door, grabbing another Uber to Tom’s place, your place you keep reminding yourself.

***

Tom slouches in his seat while texting her,

Blackbird: it’ll put my editing skills to the test but i think i can manage it

Tom: we could just make that video as a way of sharing our love with the world

Tom: that was cheesy as fuck

Blackbird: i like my idea better

Tom: the q&a video one?

Blackbird: ya, what better way of putting the question i get every time i do a q&a to rest than to say ‘yep i’ve got a boyfriend’ and you just sitting down next to me

Tom: also cheesy

Tom: but I like it better

He’s interrupted by Jacob elbowing him, “almost blew it a few times huh?”

“I think we did our best.”

“I know, you only gave her heart eyes like a thousand times,” Zendaya pipes up and Tom rolls his eyes.

“Did not,” Tom argues, “what even are heart eyes?”

“You know,” Jacob says, eyes softening, mouth turning into a soft smile, “heart eyes.”

“Heart eyes,” Zendaya elbows Tom and gives her best heart eyes.

“Ugh you’re both insufferable sometimes,” Tom groans before the door opens and the next interviewer enters.

*** You get home and lay on your bed, opening your laptop, you heard the ping! of the email and you see a secure email from Sony.

That was fast.

You open up the email with a video attachment.

Miss Y/L/N,

Attached is your interview with the cast from Far From Home. Please upload the video to your Youtube channel by the end of the day tomorrow.

Sincerely,

Sony Executives

You opened up the video and watched the footage, already cut to show your face when you were talking and Tom, Jacob and Zendaya when they were talking. It was a short clip, about five minutes, you were going to add an introduction of yourself at the beginning, as well as an outro.

You had set up your camera stand in the office yesterday and made your way over to film, standing in front of your desk with the camera in front of you.

“Hey everyone! As promised, I was lucky enough to interview the cast of Far From Home today! Here’s a few minutes of the fun time I had earlier!” You film your ending at the same time.

“So that was the interview! Drop a comment below on your favorite part of the interview! And, you might notice the space I’m filming in is a little different, that’s because I’m all moved in! Sort of,” you say, grabbing the camera from the stand and showing the video the room, your desk and bookshelves sat neatly in their respective places, you managed to unpack some of your stuff, the rest in boxes on the floor.

“So, if you would like to see a room tour of the filming space when I’m finished, let me know! Alright folks, keep reading and see you next time!”

You stop recording and bring the camera back to your room, sitting on the bed and uploading the video to your laptop. You open your editing software and begin to cut and edit the video into your interview. Your thumbnail comes next, one of Tom, Jacob and Zendaya looking as normal as possible, it was hard to choose an image from the video, most of the time Tom was just staring at you like he knew you, knew every piece of you. Which wasn’t really his fault, because he did know you. You added “Y/N meets FFH Cast!” in blue letters with a red outline onto the photo and went through the process of uploading the video.

You plugged your laptop in and let it upload, moving back to the office to start unloading more of your books.

“I’m home!” Tom’s voice echoes throughout the apartment and you perk up, jumping up from your seat on the ground and running down the hallway.

“You know, I think that video is gonna send some people into a tailspin,” you laugh as he picks you off the ground and twirls you around.

“You called me pretty boy,” Tom laughs and you can’t help but sigh into his neck as he sets you down.

“I was just teasing,” you wiggle your eyebrows as he looks down at you.

“Teasing, teasing, you teased me alright, almost called you blackbird.”

“That would’ve done us in, Sony would’ve been thoroughly confused.”

“Did you get the video uploaded?”

“It was loading a few hours ago, so I’m sure it’s uploaded now.”

“Wanna go see the comments?” “You hate reading comments,” you point out as his arm wraps around your waist and you walk back to your room.

“I know but I also know you love reading them. And I can’t help but be curious, just this once.”

You nod as you get your laptop and situate yourself against the pillows, Tom’s head resting on your shoulder as you open the video and pause it, scrolling down to the comment section.

Oh my GOD they way she called him pretty boy to his face, embarrassing

“But Tom, you are my pretty boy,” you laugh as he kisses your neck.

“They’re just mad that I’m not their pretty boy.”

He called her darling, lit rally goals

Plz tell me they exchanged phone numbers

Zendaya giving her daggers like back off my mans lmfaoooo

“I think she gave you a look when you called me pretty boy, like ‘did she seriously just almost blow their cover like that’, Jacob and her got a good laugh out of it.”

Pleasee the balls on her to be flirting with him the entire time

Tom seriously dropped all the heart eyes for y/n and honestly same

Its called professionalism, you should look it up, it definitely doesn’t include flirting with the person you’re interviewing

“I can’t help flirting with you Tom, you’re just so cute,” you sigh as you shut your laptop, “that’s enough of the internet for today.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” he laughs as you set your laptop on the bedside table and Tom straddles your hips, “besides, I can definitely think of things I’d rather be doing, especially ones that don’t include anyone else,” his head ducks down to kiss up your neck, gently nibbling at your jaw as you both scoot down the bed so your back is flat.

His hand slips up your Spiderman T-shirt, groping your breast as you sigh, hands slipping into his hair to give it a light tug as he hastily unbuttons your skirt and unzips it, cold fingers running along the edge of your panties as you hear the front door slam.

“Tom! Y/N!” You hear Harrison shout as Tom groans into your neck.

“Get lost! We’re having grown up time!” Tom shouts, his voice vibrating against you.

“No, like you should seriously see something,” Harrison shouts and Tom grumbles as he sits up off of you and you fix your hair and zip up your skirt.

He rushes into the room, not even sighing or being annoyed at the two of you trying to get it on. He shoves his phone in Tom’s face and he pales, scrolling through what looks like a thread of tweets.

“What? What is it?” You ask, looking over his shoulder.

He finishes the phone and hands it to you, “think they’ve caught us.”

“Wh-,” your face also pales as your eyes widen reading through the tweets.

It starts off innocent enough, two pictures, one of Tom, one of you, with the caption, ‘Tom Holland and Y/N Y/L/N’.

The next tweet is a picture of Tom at a Home Improvement store, grabbing your desk and bookshelf, it’s a close up of the boxes of stuff next to a picture of your office from your video, bookshelves and desk, titled ‘familiar?’

The next is a picture of you sprawled out on your bed during a livestream, Tom’s twitter sweatshirt on. Nobody could see the @tomholland1996 on the side, you were only showing your face, but a slip of it showed when you sat up, just the @to but it was enough for them to place it next to a picture of Tom at the airport wearing it, with the caption, ‘familiar?’

The next tweet in the thread was also titled ‘familiar?’ With a picture of you in one of your videos with the mockingbird T-shirt next to a photo of Tom at the pharmacy early one morning in the same shirt. It was actually your fault he went to the pharmacy, you got sick while he was spending the night, you were both naked after a long night of fun, so he threw on whatever shirt was closest and ran out, not thinking anything of it.

The next tweet was a video of you during a livestream, sitting on your bed, just talking when there’s a noise behind you, a slam of the door and a “hey blackbir-,” before the video cuts off. The caption reads, ‘voice familiar?’.

The next was sort of silly, it was just a lot of screencaps from your video of you and Tom looking at each other with love in your eyes. The next was a video cut of your video, ‘ffh interview but just each time Tom and y/n flirt with each other’.

“Cats out of the bag?” Tom laughs as he hands Harrison back his phone.

“Honestly, if neither of us say anything, 10 bucks it’ll blow over in like a week,” you say, dropping back down to the bed as Harrison leans against the door.

Tom nods in agreement, “get lost Harrison, we’ve got some time to make up for.”

Harrison rolls his eyes but slams your door shut as Tom jumps back on top of you, “sorry bout that, guess we really are bad at the art of subtlety.”

“Oh pretty boy, ain’t nothing subtle about us.”

***

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hotarutranslations · 3 years

Text

Unpublished!

Evening Its Ishida Ayumi

I have a lot of photos I want to post,

But there are a lot that I can’t post yet---,

When its ok, which one should I start with, I’ve ended up looking through my data folder a lot

Since I’ve not been able to go out, My opportunities to use my digital camera have decreased

Around me,

I have wonderful models that are the members, so,

When there is a shoot! again, recently, I’m trying to remember to bring it

Everyone is cute—fufufu

I’m also a member so, I think its good but,

I’m happy if there are Photos that can be used as offshots!! Lol

Its nice if it adds something,

So I also want to post it!

But, also when I point my camera towards a member, I sometimes don’t know what kind of face would be good

With Akanechin,

#nechinfilm She’s using that for her camera but,

I’m worried over what kind of face it should be ←

But, I only have time up until I press the shutter,

Its not like I’m going to say “wait a minute I’ll think about my facial expression” lol

While thinking, wh-wh-what should I do?

I'll take the picture without worrying about it lol

Therefore conversely, Maybe when I’m behind the camera, Its like, I wonder if girls think like that? Lol

But from now on I’ll take photos, of everyone

Its kinda like,

I’m also defensive from the photographer side ←

On the contrary with the 15th generation, I can take all the pictures I want!! lol

I will post them when I can post them—

While thinking about that, I can post the outfit from the Halloween Goods ❤

They’ll be released tomorrow, the Halloween goods

Its maybe been a while since I’ve had a ponytail for a goods shoot

By all means—

Here

Tokyo Sports Note↓ #30 Being an Idol From Age 14 to Age 24

Here

Don’t forget to apply! By all means!

Morning Musume '21's Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~"

Radio Nihon Every Saturday 12:00AM~12:30AM STV Radio Every Sunday 12:30AM~1:00AM KBS Kyoto Every Wednesday 9:30PM~10:00PM

I'll be in attendance the last week of August and the first week of September

Click here for classes that can only be heard here

Thank you very much To everyone who listened the other day

We talked about our impressions of the SoloFest,

We talking about dressing we liked, and we laughed about how Mei-chan eats spinach

Although I’ve also been eating edamame like that too←

If you missed it, by all means,

Please listen to it on radiko

#AtHomeFest2021

We made an appearance in 2019, at ROCK IN JAPAN FESTIVAL 2019, you can stream it for a limited time right now!

Hello Pro Dance Academy

We learned Tap Dance in Season 5, and had a collab with s**t kingz-san

We are with everyone in Fabulous Sisters in Season 6!

It'll air on October 21st, streaming, please watch it

Hello! Project BEST SHOT!! Vol.24

→Now on Preorder

See you ayumin ❤

https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12695725444.html

#Ishida Ayumi #Morning Musume '21 #Morning Musume #Hello! Project #Translation #Blog

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nehawriter16 · 3 years

Text

2020 / 24

There are only 2 things I can do on an airplane – dose up on sleeping meds and pass out, or order one too many cappuccinos, keep my exhausted brain awake, and will it to talk to paper. The flight from JFK was in the afternoon and in the chaos of leaving for the airport early in the morning, I forgot to pack my pills.

Two cappuccinos in, my hands were shaking and begging to be typing out the Mrs. Maisel speed monologue that constantly runs in my head. Even though there is a month left in this year, I decided to do my annual New Years Eve post. Over the last 3 days, I’ve been drilling it down to go from gibberish to slightly readable.

Here it is.

Like the rest of the world, in January, I was blissfully unaware of the shitstorm that would follow. I got into several colleges on the East Coast for a Master’s in Finance degree. Every day, I would race down the stairs with my laptop and show my parents: another admit, another scholarship! On the surface, I was making pro and con lists for each one. Deep down, my heart had already picked Fordham in New York. It was New York. Nothing else would cut it.

The day after I turned 24 in January, I also met my (now ex) boyfriend on the internet. Completely by accident, he saw my profile because a mutual friend followed my writing. Two days later, she texted me and said he would like to talk to me. Did I want to talk to some boy studying in Paris? I was single and bored and already had my year laid out for me, so why wouldn’t I?

It moved quickly. Three months later, we had been speaking every day and were exclusive. We had not hung out in person. It was stupid, but I had never come across anybody who liked me as much as he did. In every relationship I had been in before this, I always knew I was more emotionally involved. I fell in love with his devotion to me – he would stay home (who stays home in Paris!) and choose to spend virtual time with me over going to clubs with his friends. I watched myself become the epicenter of his life and thought – this is how much I’ve always wanted to mean to somebody.

In March when the pandemic hit and India shut down, my father sent a car to pick me up from my internship in Bombay, where I had moved two weeks ago. I didn’t pack so much as my toothbrush – the driver brought me home and I had no idea that it would be months before I’d get to leave again.

Morales stayed high in the beginning – we thought it would end in 21 days, then 2 months, then 5. It has taken over the whole year now, and despite us gridlocking it into “2020,” we all know the first half of 2021 will also be filled with masks and sanitizers and not hugging your friends. I wonder if I will ever settle into somebody’s arms without cringing again.

March melted into April, that melted into one long drawl until suddenly it was August and college was beginning the following week. I found myself refreshing the US consulate’s website absent mindedly one afternoon, and all appointments that had been suspended suddenly showed you a tiny little bar that read “reschedule.” I screamed and clicked.

I had thought I would be spending the year stuck at home, awake and attending classes at odd hours. While my classmates went to happy hours in dive bars in Manhattan, I would be in my bedroom, still chained to my parents’ curfews and ultimatums. But then suddenly, I was standing before a US immigration officer in Bombay, and he was telling me I had been granted my student visa.

All that was left to do was book a flight to New York, and break the news to my boyfriend, who was on his way to my abandoned apartment at this very moment for our first date, 7 months after we first began speaking. He had come home in March when France went into lockdown, and it was starting to feel like a throuple with long distance, the third and very present member in our relationship.

I packed up the belongings I had left there, and we sat across from each other on the double bed. I kissed him first. There were roadblocks, and our personalities and views clashed on so many important things, but I loved him. Two days later, I said: I have to leave for New York in 3 weeks. He didn’t take it well.

In September, I landed at JFK. When the wheels of the plane made contact with the runway, I was smiling behind a mask I’d had on for 16 hours. On the Air Train to Manhattan, I felt a sense of happiness wash over me and toyed with the possibility that maybe I wouldn’t mind if it was just me in this city. I would be okay alone.

I found an apartment, a roommate, signed a lease in a beautiful building in Hell’s Kitchen, walking distance from college. I met lots of people from my class and instantly picked out the ones I wanted to become good friends with. I dove straight into academics and extra curriculars at college – after 5 months of nothing happening, life was suddenly exciting again.

When New York lit up every night, it felt like anything was possible. I started eating better and walking a lot. My hair grew out from the bad haircut I’d gotten the year before. Coffee was no longer just coffee, it was finding a new café and walking through Central Park. Drinks were not just drinks, they were about accidentally stumbling onto a secret bar in the East Village, finding favorite spots in the neighborhood, letting a cute waiter recommend a cocktail to me even though I was perfectly capable of picking one myself.

The boyfriend and I were fighting more than usual. I was getting tired of it. We had discussed a life together, but it was slowly and surely becoming clear to me that I would resent myself for making big compromises for a person who still had a lot of growing up left to do. As New York got cold, I did too – without trying. When one particular argument got really bad, I asked for a break from the relationship. He didn’t like it.

A week later, I woke up to a girl sending me screenshots on Instagram of her conversation with him (pre me asking for a break) on a dating app, and without getting into details, I will tell you it was not a conversation anybody with a girlfriend should have been having. I should have been broken in half on the inside, but now I could finally say, without feeling guilty – this relationship was not working, nobody was happy, and you were so unhappy you thought talking to other women was okay. I spent all of one day drinking with a friend in Central Park and sobbing myself to sleep.

But mostly, what hit me after the initial shock had died down was a tsunami of relief. I felt lighter, freer. I try not to think too hard about the trauma that comes from finding out that the person you think is so devoted to you, and definitely loves you more than you love them (or so you think) is being unfaithful, because it hurts a part of me that is already very bruised from all the things that have happened to me before. So I don’t.

But it was New York. I was young and smart and there was a wine shop down the block that sold $14 bottles of Moscato. I didn’t need much else to know I would be okay. At 20, I would have jumped right back into going on dates every other night to distract myself from what had happened, then never called any of those men back. At 24, this emotional speed bump resulted in a lot of quiet introspection in my bedroom. I spent a lot of time alone, on the phone with friends, and walking around the city. I had learnt to like my own company enough to not fill a suddenly empty void with anybody else’s, even though there have been several tempting offers in this past month, and sometimes, I have succumbed to them, but mostly I am very strict with who deserves my company.

It was nice to spend that second month in New York by myself. I owed absolutely nobody a single minute of my time. No one asked me questions, or called me and expected me to share my day unless I wanted to, and once I had worked hard and cleared out the things from my to do list for the day, time stretched out before me and I had the autonomy to decide the smallest thing down to who to meet, what to eat, how much to sleep.

I didn’t let my academics and ambition suffer – no matter what happens, I never do and I never will. The grades stay up – it’s built into my system. I am back home now and just 2 days in, I find myself wishing I hadn’t left New York. I was starting to build a life I liked there, and the only price I had to pay for it was a 4 pm sunset. It would have been slightly lonely, but I like the time I spend by myself. I worked hard to become like that.

This month, I will see my friends here at home. I’ve missed them. I can’t believe I grew up in this city and I already feel so alienated from it just from 60 days of living away. Is that how badly I wanted to leave?

I might be dramatic and fly back on my 25th birthday, so that I can say, “I was on a flight,” and ignore the slowly expanding bubble of dread that comes with turning that old. I like the ambiguity of airports and I’m the sort of inherently sad person who would love to be alone and unreachable on my birthday.

I acknowledge that my problems this year have been so small in the face of those of us who have lost family members, contracted the virus, had to give up internships or had jobs taken from us, been torn away from family, or had to make it through this alone.

I feel almost guilty that good things have happened to me in a year that has predominantly been bad for almost everyone else. I feel apologetic, even though from 2017 to 2019, I was treated like life’s sick joke so I should deserve these good things that I worked hard for.

I definitely feel myself growing up, though. Emotionally I find I have a clearer idea of what I want from relationships and friendships, and I don’t second guess cutting off anybody who doesn’t serve that purpose or messes with my mental peace. I still have days when self-doubt comes over for a cup of tea, leaves me weak in the knees, but most days are free of it. I am also moving out of that chameleon phase where I mirrored what I thought a room full of new people would want from me, and I am unapologetically myself, irrespective of who’s watching.

Last year I remember wishing for something stupid, like “I wish there was somebody to kiss on New Years Eve,” because I’ve never had anybody to smack lips with when it’s midnight. This year, I don’t care. I’ll kiss myself in the mirror, for all I care. I love her. She’s my homie.

It’s been a weird year. I know who I was in 2019, and I remember wondering if I was proud of her. Things were still in purgatory then. But I steered my life and brought it back on track. This year, I am proud of myself without doubting it.

There’s no measuring scale for personal growth, but if there was, I feel at least a couple of inches taller in 2020.

#personal 2020 writing

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enchantingkittengaditor · 3 years

Text

Deep Water | 03. August

Summary: With fame comes pain. A fact that Caitlyn knows all too well. But when she is the one thrust into the spotlight instead of one of her relatives or friends, she struggles to keep her head above water. Especially when her frenemy Harrison is destined to become her co-star in an animated version of her favourite book. She has to hide her family’s past. He has to hide his feelings and truth. They can’t trust anyone not even each other and if their secrets ever come out, they’ll end up in deep water. This Story follows the trials of the three Watson sisters as they battle to keep part of their past secret.

Warnings: Mentions of Violence, Slight mentions Torture and Swearing

Character Page | Masterlist

AUGUST 3rd: Brenten

A phone was ringing on the stack of phones in the middle of the dining table.

“It’s Brenten’s,” Finn said in victory.

“So he pays?” Millie asked trying to get her head around the game we often played.

“Yup,” I said sadly, grabbing my phone, “Hello,” I answered.

“Hey, Brenten. I know that I’m on tour and everything but I may or may not be coming to Atlanta because I have a project and I wondered if you would be interested in doing dome of the drums for it?” I heard Alice’s voice come from the other end of the phone.

“Wha-Wh- Sure,” I answered. “New album?” I asked her.

“Yup and Cat said you’d be down for it. I can send you the sheet music. Maybe Finn wants to do guitar?” She said, I could hear the strained smile in her voice.

“Of course, Cat did,” I rolled my eyes at the thought, “I can ask Finn if you want me to,” I asked her.

“Yes please,” She said happily, “I’ve got to go, rehearsal and all that Jazz. I’ll email you the sheets, can you text me his answer?” She asked.

“I’ll ask him now for you,” I told her. “Hey, Finn! You wanna play guitar on Alice’s new project?” I asked him.

“Alice?” He questioned.

“Cat’s sister aka Taylor Swift, dude,” I told him again rolling my eyes.

“Sure, it’ll be fun,” He told me.

“He’s in,” I told her.

“Thanks,” She told me, “I’ll send you all the details. Cat says hi!” She hung up, probably getting back to dance practice or lunch with her sisters.

“The bill,” THe waiter said placing it down on the table.

“Brenten,” Finn said with a smug look on his face.

“Dork,” Cat said walking into the sound booth.

“Your sister said it was her project,” I whined.

“It is. I’m producing an album by Cat,” Alice said with a proud smile. “Plus if you two do a good job on hers you can do my next one.”

“So, my album is an experiment for you?” Cat asked her.

“Exactly little kitty cat,” Alice told her.

“What are the songs called?” I asked her, interrupting their sibling fight. “Any about Harry?”

“No,” She said not convincing enough.

“What are the songs, Caitlyn?” Finn asked.

“Pheonix, Thin Air, In the Dark, What you Love, and History,” Cat said.

“All sound like they could be about a certain brunette,” I teased.

“Can you please just play the notes and do the thing,” Cat asked us.

“Your sister is a grammy award winner and you call playing instruments notes and thing,” Finn asked her.

“I know what it’s called I’m just jetlagged from Oxford,” Cat told me.

“Shouldn’t Alice be in Kansas?” I asked her.

“Yes, I just came to set up everything and make sure you listen to her,” Alice said, smiling and waving goodbye to her sister.

“Why Atlanta?” I asked her.

“Oh, right, I’m filming something soon in New Orleans and decided that I could come here to do this, plus it’s easy for Alice to come and visit,” She smiled at me.

“At least it’s music,” I muttered to myself.

AUGUST 10th: Jasmin

Home, sweet home. Well as sweet as a home with six siblings can be.

“JAS!” My little brother yelled as I dropped my bag on the wood flooring of the entrance to our house.

“Hey, where’s mom?” I asked her.

“Kitchen,” He said, suddenly losing interest in me.

“Hey mom,” I said giving her a peck on the cheek.

“How was America?” She asked as I sat on the barstool by the kitchen island.

“It was good. I just wish you could have come, you would’ve loved Alice’s Rhode Island house and comic con,” I told her.

“I wish I could’ve been there too. But with everything I couldn’t. Anything else happen?” She said handing me a cup of tea.

“Cat’s soulmark also happened to turn colour. She shot an entire TV show. Brenten’s doing his thing in Atlanta and Harry nearly killed me several times,” I told her. “I’m going to go up to my room and get some rest, Jet lag and everything.”

“When you wake up, there’s food in the fridge for you,” She said as I went up the stairs to my room.

My room was nice but I was busy messing around on my phone, listening to music and getting into PJs before I went onto Instagram. I forgot to post about comic con. Of course, I did. Should I go back and do a latergram or do I simply ignore it?

I scrolled through the endless photos of me and my friends having fun around San Diego and messing with people and each other. I found three photos that I thought looked decent to post and comment on before going for my nap.

My phone woke me up.

“Cat,” I mumbled rubbing my eyes.

“I need to talk to someone and the only other person near me is Harrison and I can’t talk to him about this,” She said quickly, panicking.

“What is it?” I asked her.

“Harrison kissed me and I didn’t hate it,” She whisper yelled over the phone as if she was worried about someone ever hearing her.

“Really?” I laughed. “Cat that’s not the end of the world. People kiss all of the time.”

“No, I blocked out the memory. Not recently but like two months ago and it may have happened again and I’m freaking out. I hate his guts and then in LA he touched my arm and it changed colour and now I’m really panicking,” She said, I could hear the tears in her voice.

“Where are you now?” I asked her.

“Atlanta, at a hotel, Harrison’s next-door other than that no one,” She told me.

“Ok, breath, do the sky thing. And watch a movie or go get Harrison. I know that you hate him but he can help you more than I can. Love you, but I can’t help over the phone at,” I checked the time on my phone, “5 am.”

“Thanks,” She said the panic still lingering in her voice.

AUGUST 11th: Harrison

Knocking on the door woke me up from my sleep. Who the hell knocks that frantically at midnight? I got up, rubbing my eyes and stumbling to the door to see my blonde co-star having another panic attack.

“I’m kinda freaking out,” She said shaking her hands nervously. I habit that I’d noticed when she had her last panic attack.

I didn’t need to say come in, I just needed to move to the side to let her in for her to know it was alright. “Why are you freaking out this time?” I asked her.

“Anxiety Memories,” She told me, still hyperventilating as she paced around the room.

“What about?” I asked her, still half asleep.

“Everything seems to be crashing down around me and I got a text from mum and now I’m freaking out more than I usually do,” She said between heavy breathing. Still shaking her hands.

“What text did you get?” I asked her suddenly more awake than I had been previously.

“Dad’s getting out of prison and the news found out and now I-” Her hands waving around too quickly, “-I don’t know what to do. Bea said he tried to contact her and I’m really,” Her hands were waving faster. I grabbed them in an attempt to calm her down. “I’m really freaked out.” By now tears were streaming down her face.

“Hey, breath. Sit down and breath,” I told her, leading her to the edge of the bed. “When your ready tell me about it.”

She just sat there for a few minutes calming her breath and sobbing into my chest. I could hear my phone going off with notifications from people telling me about what this panic attack was about.

“Dad got let out because of something, the press found out and since the whole we haven’t talked about him and they jumped to the conclusion that he’s dead. They’re coming after us,” She whispered.

“It’s alright. I-We’ll help you through this,” I told her rubbing her back. “We can all get through this together. I’ll support you no matter what. You may not like me, but the whole mark thing means I’ll always be here for you.”

“Thanks,” She murmured.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” I asked her softly.

“Yes please,” She whispered to me.

“Alright,” I said moving up the bed so that we could actually lie down and started creating a pillow wall like the last time we had to share a bed.

“Is it OK if we don’t do that? I just need a hug, even if I hate your ass,” She said, a small sliver of her old self returning after the brief lapse of it.

“Sure,” I said giving her a small half smile.

“Thank you,” She said as she started falling asleep in my arms. This is something that I could get used to if she stoped hating me. I just have to make sure she’s alright before I leave tomorrow.

In all honesty I didn’t get much sleep that night, I was too focused on controlling my breathing and trying to figure out what could have been the memory to cause her to get like this. And trying to make sure it wasn’t awkward when she woke up to see she was in her enemies arms.

The sun was shining through the blinds when I woke up the next morning to my alarm going off. Cat tried to turn off the alarm but only ended up hitting my nose and face repeatedly, just making me giggle.

“Urg,” She said opening her eyes, “What time is it?” She asked.

“It’s eight thirty,” I told her.

“And why am I in your room?” She asked again.

“You came to the door last night having a panic attack and you wanted to stay the night,” I told her getting out from under her head and went to open the curtains.

“It’s really bright,” She said sitting up.

“How is your hair that neat?” I asked her, only noticing that her hair wasn’t a crows nest like most peoples when they get up.

“Magic,” She said half drunk on sleep. “It just is. A family secret. Why didn’t I mention the fact you’re only in your underwear last night?”

“You were crying and didn’t notice,” I told her.

“Thank you,” She said getting up off the bed herself and going toward the door.

“You want to get breakfast? I can drop you off at the set before I go to the airport,” I suggested.

“Sure, but can you take me to the airport too. I have to catch a flight to New Orleans for filming,” She said while at the door.

“Cool,” I said.

AUGUST 13th: Caitlyn

“Good morning,” Aubrey greeted me on set.

“Good morning. First day of our pilot episode, you nervous?” I asked him, handing him a coffee as I sat in the make-up chair.

“No, except if we don’t get picked up,” He ansered, “You?”

“Not at all. Well not this, other things but-” I started to answer a mile a minute.

“How many coffees?” He asked me.

“None. I hate coffee. But I’ve had 18 colas in the past ten hours and haven’t slept since the 11th,” I told him.

“You need to sleep,” He said.

“Probably but I can’t. It’s like there’s something missing. That and the news has been keeping me awake for ages. That and doging calls has become my full time job,” I told him sadly.

“How are your sisters handling it all?”

“Alice is focusing on tour and ignoring it all. Bea is focusing on filming her new show. Dot’s focusing on tennis and Ellie is unaware of it all, mum’s protecting her. Well, she’s at summer camp her in the US so it’s more like no cable or internet is protecting her. And I’m constantly having panic attacks and missing someone whose guts I hate but gives good hugs,” I unloaded. “All while being an emotionally repressed closteted english sixteen year old.”

“Fuck dude. That’s a lot on your plate,” he said looking at me over his phone.

“I’m also filming this, something in LA, doing voice stuff and having to finish doing my last few scenes for a disney show that I’ve been doing on and offn for the past few years, before anxiety knocked on my door and said ‘I’m going to ruin your life.’ AKA I lost my damn mind. Oh and school.” I laughed to myself.

“You need to take a break for yourself,” He told me.

“I would but, my family never takes breaks. My sisters are insane, my cousins are even more so. We don’t take a break because if you take a break you can fail and fall from grace. And rule number 13 is if you fall from grace you may never return to the stature you had and rule 14 if you fail and fall you are no longer a proper lady,” I recited.

“Rules?” He questioned.

“My grandmother’s rules about being a proper lady. The rules we’re meant to live by or else,” I informed him.

“Your family seems… intense,” He told me.

“That, my new friend, is the understatement of the century,” I told him.

“Are you going to do anything insane while on set?” He asked.

“Not anything that you need to worry about. The biggest thing would probably have a panic attack,” I informed him.

“If I see you having one, I’ll try comfort you,” He said.

“Good luck with that,” I muttered going back to my phone.

Out of the corner of my eyes I could see him laugh slightly before going back to his own phone.

#august #Deep Water #writing #my writing #my ocs #celebrity au #celebs #pjo #caleb mclaughlin #jake t austin #olivia holt #Amandla Stenberg #Social media #social media au #'cause i still fuckin' love queue babe

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cha-lyn · 5 years

Text

interrupted affection

Chapter 5

Bucky Barnes x pocReader

Warnings: kissin’, flirtin’ & fluff, some angst

Words: 1700ish

Summary: Y/N is Wakandan, just returning from a mission as a War Dog. Set a little while after Bucky wakes up from cryo-sleep.

A/N: I am going out of town 7/18 to middle of nowhere Washington State to see my sweet baby nephews. My brother does not have wifi out there, so I will try to remember to post chapter 6 prior to leaving, but if not come back around August 17th :). I appreciate the love (in the form of comments, likes, reblogs and good vibes).

--- --- ----

When you wake up the sun is shining and you are nestled under the covers in your bed. Your bed that has no super soldier in it. You frown, vividly remembering bringing him up here, making out on your bed and then… falling asleep while he showered. You rubbed your eyes, groaning. Rolling over to check the clock on your nightstand, you instead find a note.

Doll,

Another border breach early this morning. I’ll make it up to you.

Bucky

P.S. You talk in your sleep. You have a nice ass, too.

Straight and to the point. You sighed and rolled over. The other pillow smelled like him, earth and mangoes. You inhaled it several times, smiling, realizing that he slept next to you and wishing you hadn’t fallen the fuck asleep. You rolled out of bed, stumbled to the shower to get ready before you headed up to the palace for breakfast.

You ran into Shuri when you got to the palace. She was chatting about Kimoyo beads as the pair of you entered the dining room. T’Challa, Nakia and the queen-mother were already there.

Nakia eyed you with a smirk, “Good morning sister.”

You purse your lips at her overly cheery morning attitude. “Everything okay at the border?” You asked Shuri. A pot of coffee was set in front of you and you poured yourself a large cup.

“For now at least,” said a voice from the doorway. The seated heads turned to see Okoye and Bucky enter. Okoye continued as you savored your coffee, “Our War Dogs on the other side of the border report rumors of more thieves like the ones last night, planning on invading. White Wolf and I are going to assess the threat after breakfast this morning, your majesty.”

T’Challa nodded in agreement, “I will go with you.”

You cut your eyes over at Bucky, who was pouring himself some coffee now. He looked up at you, glanced around to make sure no one was watching and winked. You bit the inside of your cheek, suppressing your smile, thankful that your blush was not detectable. But beside you, Shuri coughed back laughter. All heads turned to her, but she was looking between you and Bucky.

“Shuri?” T’Challa looked concerned. Your eyes bore into hers, unsure if she had really connected the dots.

“Mm,” she coughed again, “just went down the wrong pipe brother. No worries.” She laughed and waved it off as she started eating again, a smirk on her face. You didn’t dare look back at him as you busied yourself with eating your toast.

“Y/N? Did you hear me?” Everyone was looking at you now. Shuri with a suppressed smile and Bucky with a slightly furrowed brow.

“Sorry Nakia, yes?” You snapped back to the conversation. Nakia sighed.

“You haven’t seen our parents since you returned.”

Oops. You’d been distracted by a certain super soldier. “Oh. I will go visit them this afternoon.”

“Yes, we both will. I think we’ll stay for a few days as well.” You smiled and nodded in agreement, but you groaned silently inside. You had unfinished business to attend to. You dared to look up at Bucky then. He was chewing on a piece of bacon, nodding at something Okoye was saying, unfazed. Bucky, T’Challa and the Dora left breakfast early, giving you no time to talk to Bucky at all. Nakia directed you to go pack for your trip and you avoided Shuri’s stare like the plague.

Your trip lasted 5 long days. It was great seeing your parents again, even though your mother continually mentioned you getting married “like your sister” throughout the visit. Marriage was somewhat of a scary thought for you. You had been with the War Dogs so long you didn't think you’d ever find someone who’d wait around to marry you. You still didn’t know if you were there yet with Buck.

You two hadn’t even talked about marriage yet, but on the other hand, you hated being away from him. Children were terrifying to you too, but yet your heart melted when you saw Bucky with the village children, running around and laughing. So, it’s not like the thoughts hadn’t crossed your mind. You cared about Bucky a lot. You wondered if a future with him was even possible. You are technically royalty and he is a colonizer. You assumed that there are rules about that, somewhere. You don’t really know, you’re scared to ask.

“There have been talks about giving the White Wolf an official military role.” Your head snapped over to a smirking Nakia, mouth falling open, wondering if you’d been talking out loud.

“Wh-What?” You cleared your throat. “I mean that-thats’s cool.”

Nakia laughed. “Oh, Y/N, stop. I know you like him.” She glanced sideways at you. “I’m your sister, remember?”

You sighed in defeat. “Yes. I do... ”

“I knew it!” She laughs. “He stares at you when he thinks no one is looking.”

Your face feels hot. “Oh please. When will the ceremony be?” You tried not to sound too eager. You failed.

Nakia laughed, “Good Bast, calm down sister, we have to ask him first.” You shook your head and looked out the window. Your mind racing now.

“Sister,” you started slowly, “Hypothetically, if he were to accept… would I--would we be able to,” you paused, “You know--”

She finished the thought. “Yes, sister. The two of you could officially court and even marry. Until then, if it even happens, you two aren’t really together in the eyes of the kingdom. So be careful.” She cut her eyes over at you, the implications there.

“Okay,” was all you could get out.

When you returned to the palace, Shuri informed you and Nakia that T’Challa, Bucky, Okoye and the Dora were out fighting, another border breach. You pushed yourself up onto a table top, crossing your arms.

“It’s the second since you two left.” Shuri shook her head.

Nakia paced the lab, “We may need to shut down the border then--”

“T’Challa doesn’t want to. He says we can handle it.” Shuri threw her hands up in surrender; she didn’t look convinced.

“Are there more? Outside the country?” You asked, checking each of the coordinates of the border breaches. They were varying in distances, but never too close to a village. The breaches always avoided border patrol habits.

Shuri shrugged. “Intel keeps changing.”

““They seem to be anticipating our border patrols…” You jumped from your perch on the table. “I can go down to the border and see what my contacts--”

“That won’t be necessary, Y/N,” T’Challa’s voice filled the room now, accompanied with shuffling footsteps. Bucky's metal arm hooked around a disheveled looking man. A prisoner. “This gentleman is going to help us find some answers.” The man spit at T’Challa. Bucky didn’t miss a beat, twisting the man’s arm so that he let out a high pitch squeal. “Take him to the holding cell, White Wolf. We will deal with him later.” Bucky and Okoye left with the prisoner. T’Challa went to Nakia, giving her a long kiss.

Shuri coughed loudly, breaking them apart. “You two are gross, get a room.” You snickered.

Okoye and Bucky rejoined the group, talking quietly together. He glanced over at you, you smiled at him. You didn’t really care who saw, you’d missed the damn soldier. His lips twitched and his eyes sparkled at you, absolutely gorgeous. T’Challa invited everyone to freshen up and then meet for dinner in an hour. You didn’t need to freshen up so you sat with Shuri in her lab to waste time.

“Sooo,” She turned to you slowly, huge smirk on her face. “I’ve been meaning to ask you--what’s going on with you and White Wolf? Can’t seem to stay away from each other.”

You rolled your eyes, but decided not to lie. “I might fancy him.” You twirled a few braids between your fingers, smiling.

“Might fancy him? Yeah right.” Shuri scoffed. “You only have eyes for him.”

You laughed. “I enjoy spending time with him. He’s smart and funny and kind.” You mumble.

Shuri grinned and poked you. “So smitten, Y/N. It’s cute on you.”

You and Shuri arrived at dinner a couple minutes late despite being the only ones who didn’t freshen up. Everyone else was there and in their seats.

“Ah thank you for joining us, princesses,” Nakia shook her head, suppressing a smile.

“Apologies, sister, we got caught up.”

T’Challa waved the two of you off, laughing and saying something about setting your Kimoyo beads with alarms, and dinner was served. As desert was served, T’Challa stood and got the tables attention.

“Wakanda prides itself in protecting its people and loyalty to its king. These things could not happen if our defenses, both technological and human, were not strong. Our Dora are Strong, our War Dogs strong, too.” Your heart begins to beat harder. “But with the opening of our borders and sharing of our resources and technology comes new threats. We have had multiple border breaches in the past months. These occurrences have led me to a decision. I plan to bring back the Hatut Zeraze. New and improved. Hopefully, with a new leader, if you so choose to accept, White Wolf.”

All heads turn to Bucky now, who was wide eyed and staring at the king.

“Take some time to think it over Barnes, let me know within the week.” Bucky nodded slowly and T’Challa excused dinner.

You followed Bucky out, catching him alone in the hall. He turned to you, “Hey. Whoa. That was unexpected.” You smiled and shrugged. His eyes got wide, “You knew?! And you didn’t tell me?”

You laugh, “Enlighten me, White Wolf, when did I have the opportunity? I learned of it on the way back and I haven’t had one moment alone with you in days.” You placed your hands on his chest.

He sighed as he smirked down at you, “You might have a point, doll.” He wrapped his arms around you and kissed your nose. “You look beautiful tonight Princess, but I have to go meet with Okoye and you have to go talk to Shuri. About me probably. I’ll see you at breakfast.” You pouted, but it was kissed away by soft lips.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #mcu fanfiction #mcu #mcu fluff #avengers fanfiction #avengers #bucky x y/n #bucky x poc!reader #white wolf x reader #white wolf #bucky in wakanda #b.b

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peckhampeculiar · 4 years

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Painter man

TOM PHILLIPS IS A HIGHLY ACCLAIMED, PECKHAM-BASED ARTIST WHO HAS BEEN ACTIVE FOR MORE THAN 50 YEARS.

Here, he talks about his fascinating and varied career and calling up his friend Brian Eno on the phone

WORDS: SEAMUS HASSON; PHOTO: LIMA CHARLIE

Tom Phillips is a local artist who has led a rather extraordinary life. A painter and sculptor of considerable renown, he is also a composer, set designer and writer. He has received commissions to produce artworks for the likes of Westminster Cathedral and Westminster Abbey and has held high-profile positions at some of the country’s most prestigious cultural institutions.

While Tom is an artist of international acclaim, he is also known locally as the bloke who designed the mosaics and iconic curved lamp posts on Bellenden Road.

I arrange to meet him at the Peckham Pelican on the August bank holiday, but on arrival we discover it is closed for the day. After a brief discussion about how to proceed, we hop on the 345 towards Camberwell and settle for a greasy spoon a few stops down. Perhaps not the most distinguished setting to interview one of the country’s most esteemed artists and a trustee of the British Museum, but Tom is without pretension.

“I’m a south London boy,” he says. “I’ve lived all of my life in south London and most of it in Peckham.”

Tom was born in Clapham in 1937, where he spent his early years and attended Henry Thornton Grammar School. From there he achieved his ambition of going to Oxford. “I wanted to go there because I wanted to act in plays and things like that,” he explains. “So, I went and studied – as they call it – English, for about half an hour a day.

“[While there] I was drawing all the time and looking at art and reading about art and wanted to go to art school. Luckily enough the one I chose was about 100 yards from where my mother had bought a house.”

Tom went to the Camberwell School of Arts and Crafts, where he was taught by German-British painter Frank Auerbach. Fortuitously for him, his mother had bought a house on Talfourd Road some years earlier.

“We were going bankrupt I think as a family and she bought the house in Peckham because they didn’t cost anything, about £500, and let it out to art students ironically enough. I was the last art student to occupy it and took it over bit by bit.”

The property is the studio where Tom continues to work, producing pieces that have been shown across the world. “My art school life was here in Peckham,” he says. “When I left Oxford, I had to get a job like people do, so I did teaching. I taught in a school in Brixton and went to evening classes here at the Camberwell School of Arts and Crafts as they called it then.

“The only artist I knew about who was teaching was Frank Auerbach so I joined his class and that was the deal done as far as my life was concerned. I think you always need someone who passes the baton on, you know, it’s a race that we’re all running one after the other.

“So, I followed lots of his advice and learnt a lot from him as well as other people who were there who were interesting.”

It wasn’t long before the art world was taking notice of Tom’s work. His first solo show was in 1965 at the Artists’ International Association Gallery in London, followed by an exhibition at the Angela Flowers Gallery in 1970.

“Right away I was doing my own work, I won a prize or two and got noticed a bit,” he says. “Eventually it seemed possible to do it as a living, which I managed to do in the end. I’m still managing.”

In 1966 he began a project that is still occupying him today. “A Humument” came about when he set himself the task of finding a book for threepence and altering every page with painting, collage and cut-up techniques to create an entirely new version.

The book he chose (at random) was an 1892 novel called A Human Document by WH Mallock. “It was an old Victorian novel. I picked it up by chance actually on Peckham Rye, on the exact spot where Blake saw his first angels,” he says. “I got it in a big shop called Austin’s, which is gone now.”

Although the final edition of A Humument was published in 2016, Tom has found it difficult to leave it behind. “I thought I’d work on that for a bit and I ended up working on it for 50 years,” he says.

“And I’m still working on it actually; although I’ve published a final edition. I can’t stop, it’s too interesting. It leaves a black hole in your life when you’ve been doing something for 50 years and then suddenly you say stop.

“I certainly was lucky in the book that I chose. It’s got an undertext and a sort of darkness and is full of interesting things you can find. Even the other day I was thinking how there are things in modern life that don’t crop up, when I suddenly saw in the middle of a page I was going to work on the words, ‘me too’.

“I thought, ‘Well, me too didn’t mean anything in the 1890s but now it’s got a relevance to it’, so I moved around that idea.”

A Humument was shown in an exhibition at the Royal Academy, where Tom has been chairman of the exhibitions committee since 1995.

It was also exhibited in a museum in Massachusetts and the book illustrating the work is available on Amazon.

A renowned portrait artist, Tom’s subjects have included the likes of the cast of Monty Python as well as personal friends such as Iris Murdoch and Salman Rushdie.

In 1989, he became only the second artist to have a retrospective of his portraits shown at the National Portrait Gallery (his portrait of Iris Murdoch is still on display there).

Another of his subjects was Irish playwright Samuel Beckett. “I spent a couple of weeks painting his portrait when he was rehearsing a play here,” says Tom.

“He was interested in A TV Dante [a television series that Tom directed for Channel 4] and I was showing him what I was doing. I was doing a translation of Dante with pictures and he was rather kind about it. He was just a nice, lovely man.”

Locally, Tom is involved in a photographic project called 20 Sites n Years, where he takes photographs in and around Peckham of the same site, on or around the same day, at the same time each year.

It has been going since 1973 and has been made into a film by Jake Auerbach, Frank Auerbach’s son.

Another area of the arts that has played a big role in Tom’s life is music. As a young man he sang in the Philharmonia Chorus, which he describes as being “rather grand”.

“I did singing at school of course and played instruments very badly, which I continue to do. But I could sing without having the skill of playing an instrument, so I then joined the leading choir in the country it seemed to me.”

In the late 1960s, he gained recognition for his experimental opera, Irma, and during his teaching career, he taught and befriended the avant-garde musician and producer, Brian Eno.

“He was a student. I can’t name many students who have done anything because I’m not a very good teacher,” he laughs. “But with someone like Brian it was difficult not to get things going.

“We worked together a little here and there. He made versions of things that I had done, and we were both associated with something called the Scratch Orchestra. He’s a person who always has the same phone number, which rather impresses me. I mean I don’t belong to a glamorous world like he does, but still the same old phone number gets Brian. Perhaps I’m the only person left who has that number.”

Talking to Tom, all sorts of brilliant anecdotes pop up. A keen ping pong player, he once played a tournament with the author Howard Jacobson and Salman Rushdie round at Charles Saatchi’s house. Then there was the time he got on the wrong side of the authorities in South Africa.

“I did the curation at the big African art exhibition at the Royal Academy,” he says. “It all came through travelling in Africa and originally in South Africa. But then I sort of wondered how I could get involved as an artist. So, I joined a group called Artists Against Apartheid and we showed all over the world.

“I got into trouble slightly in South Africa itself because I overprinted banknotes with a slogan. In South Africa there were notices all over benches and things saying ‘slegs vir blankes’, which means reserved for whites.

“So, I made up this rubber stamp that said ‘slegs vir almal’, which means reserved for everybody and I put a rubber stamp upon every note that came through my hands. After that I was told that I wasn’t very welcome here in South Africa. It then became a little known as a slogan.”

With his days of political activism in the past and A Humument beginning to wind down, what does a typical day now look like for Tom Phillips, the artist?

“I’m doing everything I always did,” he says. “I was very lucky in the things that I did. They interested me. I can’t think of anything that I want to do that I could do that I haven’t done. Not really. It filled the time – I’m 82.”

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rpgmgames · 6 years

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August’s Featured Game: Shroom Soup

DEVELOPER(S): Shroomy ENGINE: RPGMaker 2000 GENRE: Adventure, RPG, Psychological Horror WARNINGS: listed here (may contain spoilers) SUMMARY: You play as Arnika, a gloomy teenage girl. Perpetually tired, you live off excessive sleep, lime juice, and instant soup. You look into the vortex forming in your cup of said soup, this time mushroom flavour. Next thing you know, you are in an entirely different world where everything, from buildings to people, is being devoured by fungi. It seems like you have no choice but to walk on... Your journey involves exploration, puzzle-solving and battles.

Download the demo here!

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Hello! I am Shroomy, and I still haven't figured out which one of my nicknames I should go by, but I use "uboaappears" for art and "toxic shroom swamp" for games. I have a bachelor's degree in biology since two weeks ago and like everything surreal, gory and gay. Nice to meet you. I have been in the community since about 2012, and that might be also when I first wanted to make a game - a Yume Nikki fangame, because YN brought me here. I messed around with the engine for a long time, and certain characters and ideas gradually mutated to whatever this is now.

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Shroomy: It's about making a cup of instant soup and accidentally going on a very weird adventure. ...Okay, actually, it's a coming-of-age story with an emphasis on mental health, relationships, and toxic flesh-eating mushrooms. The idea came to me when I made myself an instant soup once. For some reason, I thought it would be cool if there was a portal into another world in the cup. That's how it started. (I was also into drawing mushrooms growing on people at the time, so that naturally made its way into my Awesome Game Idea.)

How long have you been working on your project? *Shroomy: ...A while. It's enough to say that I graduated from both high school and university with it. But to be honest, I didn't really do much with it until about two years ago. Right now I tend to think of the time before that as trial and error, playing around with ideas and learning to use the engine. I feel a little self-conscious about how long it took me to come up with a coherent story, but that might be a good thing. Since this is quite a personal game, it helped to grow as a person. I think it made for a more interesting and mature work than it would be otherwise.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Shroomy: I feel like I take little bits of inspirations from everything. But I'd say Yume Nikki and Re:Kinder were the biggest game influences. Maybe Hello Charlotte, too - the minimalistic world gave me some food for thought :> Design-wise, I think my current (character) style is a lovechild of Danganronpa, Killing Stalking and something else I am not sure about. Maybe just me.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Shroomy: I think the biggest challenges for me have always been centered around the lack of free time, the lack of energy or the lack of motivation. Some people manage to juggle life and gamedev, but I get exhausted really easily, so it's hard. This is an ongoing issue. I tend to try and free up a day just for relaxing and creative stuff. I've also started using the Forest app for focusing on things, and sometimes use it for gamedev as well. At the beginning I found it frustrating that my skills (in pixel art, for example) didn't match what I wanted to create. That one was improved by - you guessed it - making a lot of pixel art. Making and scrapping a bunch of tilesets for the game. It's as simple as practice and learning how to get the most out of your art program. (It also helps me to make a detailed sketch of a map before I start working, or at least brainstorm the main elements of it.) Another challenge was the incoherence of the story. Originally I wanted to make something really vague and open to interpretation, but... that actually didn't give me enough material to work with. In the end, I played around with the characters, tried to write them some backstories that no one was going to see, and somehow ended up with an actual plot..? Shocking, I know! And the final thing is putting gameplay into the game. To be honest, the puzzles in the demo were pretty random on my side, I just thought them up on the spot. In subsequent locations I tried to make them relevant to the game's themes and/or hint towards the story.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Shroomy: For one thing, the current project has a story and a plan, even if the story is presented in quite an obfuscated way. The original concept was not much more than an idea of a shroomy world. The characters also have a lot more depth and pain to them than they used to. The locations have changed a lot as well, to the point where most of the original ones don't exist anymore.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Shroomy: My team is mostly just me. At the beginning it was a young and naive me, and now we have a slightly older and better-at-art me. After I started my dev blog, I was contacted by Tommuel, who now helps me with sound design and music. And my old friend Robin has made a few NPC sprites for me, and might give a hand with more pixel art in the future. They're not really involved with other aspects of development, but I really appreciate their help anyway! I prefer to keep most of this game to myself - it feels too personal to share, plus I'm a bit of a perfectionist.

What is the best part of developing the game? *Shroomy: I would say it's putting my work out there and sharing it with the world. I'm also really proud of how much I've grown as an artist and writer through developing this. I got attached to this story and this world, with all of its fun, weird and sad details. It's also been really fun, amazing even, to get to know other devs and make friends through being part of this interesting and creative community. I owe some wonderful friendships to it.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Shroomy: I definitely play other games for inspiration, it helps me a lot. Though I try not to make things "just like" other games, but make it a transformative learning experience instead.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Shroomy: I feel like I have been through stages. At first I was Arnika, then Lina, now I feel like I'm turning into Arthur. I guess I put my traits into all of them. (Does that mean that Bernard is the next stage? I'm /so/ ready to transcend humanity, finally learn how to do maths and become everyone's favourite character.)

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Shroomy: I think the biggest mistake I made was jumping straight into making a game without thinking it through or considering the scope. In the end, the lack of planning set me back a lot. Admittedly, I was young and excitable, so I guess it was a learning experience? I didn't really know how to write stories or plan long-term projects, but over time, I somehow built up those skills. I think it's good to have a clear-ish idea of what you want to make before you start, and maybe start with something small. (So basically, do the opposite of what I did.)

Once you finish your project, do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Shroomy: Aha. Actually, yes. I have accidentally started writing two sequels already. They will be small games focusing on other characters' perspectives (as opposed to Arnika). I'm not actually touching them yet though, only making some notes and writing scripts. Perhaps by the time the first game is released I'll have enough material to comfortably work on them.

What do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Shroomy: Fan reaction, I think? To be honest, I'm not really sure. I think I'll just be enjoying the incredible dopamine rush after finally setting this child of mine free to explore the world and infect people's brains with all the shroomy memes it contains. (Also will probably get off the internet for about a week from the anxiety.) Then maybe being free to work on other things, indeed. And posting spoilery concept art >:D

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Shroomy: I am a little worried about the reception of the game's subject matter. If you looked at the list of warnings, you might have an idea what I mean. Sometimes it feels dangerous to explore certain themes in your stories, because people misinterpret depicting something bad as promoting it, for example. But that's why that list exists. I'm just going to let people know straight away that I explore dark themes in this project and I'm not going to hold back on how I do it. Creativity should flow freely, I think. (I am also a little worried about the ratio of my free time vs. gamedev time and /when/ I will finally be able to release it, but... Thankfully, I'm the one in charge of that.)

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Shroomy: Take some time to make a plan for your project, start small, fail faster, and aim for something finished before you aim for perfect. Make a system for organising your files. Back up often, and on a different drive/cloud than your game is on, preferably several. Most of all, make something you would love to play! And don't be too hard on yourself.

Question from last month's featured dev @blackcrystalsrpg: What are your game dev pet peeves?? *Shroomy: I dislike the fact that sometimes I want to have made a game more than I want to make a game, but to have made a game you need to go and make the game. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But there's no escape from fate, so... go, go and make that game happen!

We mods would like to thank Shroomy for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Shroom Soup if you haven’t already! See you next month!

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#rpgmaker #indie games #pixel games #rpg maker #rpg maker 2000 #shroom soup #gotm #game of the month #gotm august #august 2018 #august #2018 #interview #game making #game dev

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tolkienrsb · 6 years

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TRSB18 FAQ

General Information

What is a Reverse Big Bang?

A Reverse Big Bang is literally a reverse of the Big Bang challenges you may have come across in the past (such as Hobbit Big Bang, for example). The participating artists create a piece of art, which is posted anonymously for authors to view and claim. The authors will then write a fic based on the art they chose.

What kind of artwork/story is eligible?

Hobbit, Silm, LotR, HoME, whatever takes your fancy, be it movies or book-canon ;)

This challenge is open to all characters, genres and ratings, as long as there is a clear link to Tolkien’s mythos.

OCs are welcome, although crossovers are not currently permitted.

We are not setting any restrictions on content, but please work with your artist/author to ensure that the fic turns out well for both sides; refer back to the individual’s Do-Not’s and Must-Haves before you decide to claim a piece of art!

If you create a NSFW piece of art for the Preview, we will put a SFW crop in the Preview with a link to the NSFW version.

Because this challenge is open to and inclusive of all Tolkien characters and ships, we would like to remind all participants that absolutely no shipshaming or kinkshaming will be tolerated.

Please respect each other and the all-inclusive tone of the challenge.

Long post under the cut, can also be found at https://tolkienrsb.tumblr.com/faq

What’s the time frame?

May 1, 2018: Sign-ups open

May 15, 2018: Artist sign-up closes

Monday, May 21, 2018: Art Draft due

Friday, May 25, 00:01 CET, 2018: Art up for preview

Saturday, May 26, 2018: Author sign-ups close

Monday, May 28, 20:00 CET, 2018: Claims open [What time is that for me?]

Sunday, June 3, 2018: Post-Claim Check In

July 5, 2018: Check In.

July 30, 2018: Check In.

August 17, 2018: Deadline to tell us “Help, my pants are on fire and I won’t be able to complete my story!”

August 25, 2018: Fics due.

Monday, August 27, 2018: Posting begins in the last week of August, running in staggered schedule until all Fics have been posted/reblogged.

The scheduled times and dates are not negotiable.

What’s a checkpoint? They’re something to give you a feel on where a typical artist and/or author should or could be at in their creation process. They’re used for encouragement and motivation only. The last author checkpoint is mandatory and for us to determine what art pieces we need to find pinch hitters for. Any author who does not check in then (or if they can’t make it lets us know why) will be dropped from the challenge and a pinch hitter assigned to the art prompt. What should my art draft look like for Preview? It should be the equivalent of about 75% of your final artwork. That’s hard to measure, of course – basically it does not need to be a finished piece but it should give the author wanting to claim your art a good idea of what it will look like.

Time should go into it, this piece will be what the author bases their story on.

What should my rough draft look like for the Final Checkpoint? It needs to be at least 4,000 words, or 80% of your fic. You do not need to have your fic finished by this time however, you may still work on it and get it beta-read until your final fic and art is due. We just need to be able to reasonably verify that you are going to be able to finish your fic by the due date.

How will I contact my artist/author? We will provide an author with contact information once they are committed to an artist(email/tumblr/other - artists choose their preferred communications method when they submit their art for Preview). From there it is up to the author to communicate with the artist and create a story that would fit the art.

How do I sign up? Sign-ups for the 2018 fest open on May 1, you can sign up via forms linked on the @tolkienrsb blog.

FAQ from Artists

Art encompasses (but is not limited to) drawn or painted artwork (both traditional and digital), comics, and digital manips. Craft is welcome as long as the final piece can be photographed and submitted to us via email as an image. If you have an unconventional idea for your artwork, please email the mods at tolkienrsb at gmail dot com to discuss.

Artists may submit up to 3 separate pieces of art for this challenge to be claimed separately by 3 different authors. Alternatively, artists may choose to submit one piece for the preview and create more pieces as the collab continues - whichever best suits the story you and your partner want to tell!

Can I draw anything I like? Basically, yes. However, bear in mind that you are creating something to inspire a writer. Is there an AU or a headcanon you’d love to see explored? Give your author as much information as you can in your art to capture their imagination. Just as with a Big Bang when authors try to make their summary as enticing to artists as possible, you have the opportunity to inspire a writer with your idea and to have them write a fic specifically for the art you create.

What about nudity/ships/kinks? Bring them. Go wild. Ship it (you know you want to). This is basically your party (and we know we have some kinky writers out there, so you might find a kindred soul for yours ;) )

Bear in mind that if you DO create an NSFW piece of art as your prompt, we will put a SFW crop in the Preview and link a full version hosted on Mod Raiy’s private Imgur account for the duration of the Preview Weekend.

Do I have to finish my art before Previews? No, but submitted artwork should be at least 75% done. We know that can be tough to gauge with art; the main thing is to post a draft with enough detail that authors can clearly make out what’s going on in your artwork.

Art is only to be completed before the posting date (this means you have all the weeks of writing to finish it - or to make more art or sunbathe or however you’d like to spend time this summer).

See Submission Info for more details.

Can I create a crossover or fusion piece? No, we feel Tolkien’s works are a large enough sandbox for this first round – perhaps in future we will open for true fusions/crossovers.

NB: THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN’T DO AU’s!

What happens if the number of authors doesn’t match up with the number of artists? We will do several rounds of claiming so that EVERY piece of art has a fic in the event that the art pieces outnumber fanfiction writers. If it’s the other way, we may open up the pieces of art so that more than one fic writer is assigned to the same piece of art. Either way, everyone who wants to participate will get to participate.

Will my art be archived anywhere? No, we will only post your art in our Preview document, which will be deleted by the end of the TRSB18 event.

NB: Art pieces created for this challenge are NOT TO BE POSTED ANYWHERE ELSE before story posting takes place.

How will art claims work? Art will be posted anonymously to a Members Only, View Only private presentation document. Each piece will be numbered and accompanied by additional information supplied by the artist so authors will have plenty of time to peruse and choose their preferences. See Submission Info to see what info the artists will submit, and see Claims Info for how claims will work.

FAQ from Authors

After claiming takes place, authors will have approximately 10 weeks to write a story with a minimum of 5,000 words. The fic must be original, complete, and related to the claimed art for which it is written.

We strongly recommend that the fic is beta-read, either by the artist or a third party to reduce errors.

Do I get more than one piece of art to work with? That’s up to your artist, though we encourage our teams to collaborate throughout the process in whatever manner they see fit. There is no obligation for your artist to create additional art unless they wish to; before you begin writing, have a chat with your artist about interpretations of the artwork - bear in mind that elements of the artwork must feature in your fic.

What if the artist’s OTP is my nOTP/squicks me? Then you shouldn’t pick that piece of art on your claims form. Elements in the artwork need to be present in your story - this means that if there is a pairing specifically shown or suggested, then that is the pairing you are claiming and promising to write for. We also encourage you to discuss any squicks before you start writing and respect each other’s Do Not Wants. (Key word here being “respect” - it should go without saying, but we will not tolerate shipshaming, kinkshaming, flaming or other hurtful behaviour.)

What type of requirements are there for a fic? You will be expected to write a fic with a minimum of 5,000 words, based on the prompt you choose in the Art Claims post. Claims will be first come, first serve. Beta-reading is strongly advised.

How do I know what art I’m writing for? / How do I make a claim? When the artists turn in their rough drafts, we’ll make an Art Preview. Signed up authors will be emailed a link to view the Art Preview and have a couple of days to think about their favourites. Then we will open the Claims Form where you will rank your choices by preference and we will match authors with claims on a first come first served basis.

I’ve already been writing a fic - can I use that one? No. The fic you write must be based around the art you choose, using that as your prompt.

What if my [character] doesn’t look like my artist’s [character]? Then you should probably have chosen a different piece of art ;) As the entire idea of this fest is to use a piece of art as a prompt, discarding the artist’s vision for your own is pretty bad form. Pick art you like/agree with!

What genres/warnings are allowed? You may write/create art for whichever genre of fic you choose, as well as any rating as long as your artist is comfortable with it. Remember, you’re creating the fic around the art and the artist’s original vision.

Can I write with someone else? No, only one person may write. You may use your artist as a sparring partner or utilise the services of a beta reader(which we strongly recommend all authors do), but your story should be yours.

Will my fic be archived anywhere? No, where the story is posted will be up to the author. We will create/reblog MasterPosts to DW and Tumblr, but the location of your fic is entirely up to you.

How does posting work? Each author/artist team nominates their preferred posting day within the last week of August. Each team of author/artist is required to post on their assigned date to the platform of their choice(DW/Tumblr/AO3/ Other).

Each team will also be required to create a masterpost of their collaboration on Tumblr(no matter how they choose to post), including a summary and links to wherever they’ve posted their work.

If you do not have a DW account when it comes to posting time, just email your links/information details to a mod at [email protected] and we will make the post to the DW community for you.

Each Tumblr MasterPost will be reblogged via @tolkienrsb to give each team the maximum exposure we can give on their day of posting. Round-ups of all the works created for the Tolkien RSB18 will be posted here too.

An AO3 collection is available for teams to add their work: TRSB18.

See Masterpost Info for more details.

Any questions or issues can be addressed to the mods at tolkienrsb at gmail dot com or by sending us an Ask. We answer all signed-in Asks on private and there are no stupid questions.

Thank you for participating,

Raiyana & Narya, your friendly community mods!

#TRSB18 #FAQ #mod post

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dipulb3 · 4 years

Text

'A devastating experience:' Temporary layoffs just became permanent for millions of American workers

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/a-devastating-experience-temporary-layoffs-just-became-permanent-for-millions-of-american-workers/

'A devastating experience:' Temporary layoffs just became permanent for millions of American workers

There are now 4.5 million such people looking for work. That includes 742,000 who have had temporary jobs come to an end, and 3.8 million who have lost permanent jobs. The number of permanent job losers among the unemployed has more than doubled in the last six months, the fastest pace of increase on record.

But that money ran out after eight weeks, and she was laid off again. Her employer told her they planned to bring her back at the start of Septmeber, but two weeks before, she found out her job was gone for good.

“I absolutely thought I was going back to work September 1,” she said. For Lorincz, like millions of others, a temporary layoff became permanent. She’s not hopeful about finding anything new anytime soon.

“It’s been a devastating experience,” she said.

The good news for the labor market is millions of workers who were laid off have returned to work in the past five months, enough to lift the total number of US jobs every month since the spike of job losses that occurred in April.

But as Lorincz’s case shows, not all of those on temporary layoff can count on being called back to work. So the overall gain in jobs from the recall of workers on temporary layoff is masking a growing number of permanent job losses, causing lasting damage to job market.

Permanent job losses rising rapidly, and will keep climbing

The number of unemployed who have lost a permanent job, or had a temporary job has come to an end, has soared in the past seven months, from 1.9 million in February, to 4.5 million in September.

That means the percentage rise over a six-month period has been the fastest on record going back more than 50 years. The doubling of those permanent job losses in such a short time frame has never happened before, not even during the Great Recession.

And permanent job losses are poised to keep climbing.

American (AAL)and United Airline (UAL)cut 32,000 jobs on Thursday alone. Disney (DIS) has announced plans to permanently cut 28,000 workers who has been on temporary furlough before now at its US theme parks. JCPenney (JCP) plans to cut 15,000 jobs as its closes 149 stores ahead of the holiday shopping season as part of its plan to emerge from bankruptcy. On Sunday, Cineworld, the owner of Regal Cinemas, said it may have to close more than 500 US theaters indefinitely.

None of those permanent job losses are reflected in the most recent numbers from the Labor Department.

Lorincz, said she had been out of work before, when a startup she worked for went out of business. But she never been a scared about being able to find something new.

“I’m picking up odd jobs here and there, I’m Door Dashing, and doing everything to cover expenses,” she said. “I don’t know what I’d be doing if I was trying to support a family. I’m without insurance during a pandemic, which is terrifying.”

The number of unemployed who are out of work due to the end of temporary jobs has also been rising rapidly over the last seven months, increasing by nearly 100,000. Many of those workers were used to moving from one job to another and now haven’t been able to find the next job as normal.

Justin Doan, 29, has worked as a tour manager, production manager and audio engineer in the live music industry since finishing college. He’s made good money in the job he always dreamed of having. But he hasn’t worked at all since March 13, when the tour he was on abruptly shut down.

“Everything is halted. We didn’t realize at the time that it would be shut for this long,” he said. “The thought was we would reschedule in May. That never happened.”

Looking at changing careers

Doan has been burning through his savings, and said he is now worried that live music won’t be returning until late next year. That might mean he has to change careers. But he said this is a very difficult time to think about such a huge shift.

“There are millions of people out there who are also unemployed,” he said. “Many may have more experience on paper than I have.”

Most of those who now permanently out of work have lost long-term jobs, many that they held for much of their career.

Juan Jose Martinez Camacho, 59, has been a cook for 30 years, since he was asked to fill in one day when he was working as a dishwasher in a restaurant.

He has worked as a cook at the Crowne Plaza in Redondo Beach, California, for 22 years. When he was laid off on March 23, he was thinking it would be only two or three months before things got back to normal. But late last month he was notified he had permanently lost the job, which paid $22 an hour. He has been looking for other cooking jobs without any luck.

“It hurts me to think that if things don’t get better I might have to do other types of work,” said Martinez-Camacho, a Mexican immigrant who spoke through a translator. “It’s what I love to do.”

Ann, a designer of luggage and backpacks, who asked to use a pseudonym because of the terms of her severance agreement, is also worried about not being able to find a new job in her field. Travel demand has cratered, which means few people are in need of luggage. And with millions of students shifting to remote learning, there’s a dearth in demand for backpacks.

She lost her job in August via a Zoom meeting.

Ann said she was also lost a job during the Great Recession, but she is far more worried this time.

“Honestly I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she said. “This is much scarier. In terms of looking for jobs — you can’t even meet with people face to face. It’s horrifying.”

Ann said she’s also nervous about losing a job this time because she’s 53, 11 years older than the last time she was out of work.

“It’s just a very competitive landscape,” she said. And while her husband is still working, “this is no longer a one-income economy. You have to have two incomes.”

-— Appradab’s Tami Luhby contributed to this story.

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theglitchedsystemofficial · 7 years

Audio

Remember the last time Dark got drunk? If not, you can listen here. Enjoy, everyone! Script can be found below, so be prepared for a good seven minutes of non-canonical comedy. I hope you guys enjoy! - Ellynore

P.S. This was originally recorded at the beginning of August, so apologies for posting this late.

"Bartender. Give me your strongest scotch. And your whiskey."

30 minutes later...

"Oh, my God, I'm so wasted... But, I feel so free! Oh, my God, you have-- You have no idea what kind of-- what kind of stress I've been going through these-- these past few months. I mean, with the-- what with the Easter thing over, and Markiplier... TV... I really... I really need to-- I need to lay down here, my... good sir. Ugh, my fine lady, or... whatever the fuck you are. All I know is you're hot and I-- don't care where you live.

But listen. I gotta be real here. There is... There is a lot of shit gonig on here, especially on the internet. Like, people are suspectin' a lot o' things as, uh, some hidden clues that Mark's been lyin' around... I dunno what the fuck Jack is going on about on his social media. You all think that... Anti's planning something. I mean... I mean, I wouldn't fucking know, I mean... if he was, then he... he'd tell me.

Actually, no, he-- he probably wouldn't... He likes keeping things... in secret. He-- He likes to keep me in the dark. Eh, heh! You get it? (silly laugh) 'Dark'? (laughs again) Oh. Oh, man...

I... Actually, a thought just occurred to me. I never really... I never really give the other members of the network enough praise. I, uh, I wanna be able to... I wanna... give them a... better reward, like... give them something that... they really deserve, but... I-- I can't. I dunno what to do, I... What has a guy got to do to... to really... find out how to get a robot to... to be happy? How do you really earn proper... praise from, you know, Googleplier and Bingsepticeye? Plus, you know, Bing--he's a really good medic unit. I mean, really good.

I dunno about this Doctor Snapple-Crackle-Whatever-the-Fuck-His-Name-is, but... He, uh, he's a... He's a bit of an oddball. H-He's weird. But, I... like him in some way. He's got a... He's got an interesting voice, hehe, but, I dunno... He's, uh, he's the weirdest German I have ever seen. And I speak German, y-y-you get me? Eheh.

So, um... What 'ave ya got planned t'night? Gonna watch the game? Or... wh-whatever you humans do. ... What? The fucking...? Y-You do livestreams, too? Oh, man, seriously, that-- that's cool. ... Wait, what? Oh. Oh, THAT'S what you do. Ah. Oh, that's... that's cool, I guess. There's nothing wrong with that, just... ...st not really my thing, y'know? I did go all out when it comes to... nightime escapades, but then again, I LIVE in the night! (giggle)

Nah, just kidding here, I-I'm pulling, uh-- I'm-- I'm pulling your... pulling your leg. ...Yeah, that's the saying, sorry. Uh... C-Cat's got my tongue, y'know what I mean? (chuckle)

I wonder what-- I wonder what the girls are doing... Speaking o' girls, have you seen any lovely ladies around here? Yeah? (chuckle) Oh, y-you got no idea, like... like, there's this-- There's this one girl I came across in, uh... in, uh, you know... near Los Angeles. She was just... I dunno, she looked all grouchy and playin' hard t' get, but... sh-she seemed interesting... But, honestly, sh-she looks like the kind who's got too much drama in her life and she's just gonna pass it on to somebody else who's willing to... you know, let her chew their ear off. Not my kind of lady.

Now, there's another girl I have in mind... Oh, my God. I mean, you look at her, uh... Like, she looks like she's in her mid-twenties but then you realize that... she doesn't really act all that much her age? I dunno, sh-she looks like... someone who's stuck in 'er childhood. She's cute, though.

Uh... Ey! Ey! Bartender. Gimme another... Gimme another scotch. Ya got any more scotch? Y-- Seriously, y-you got any more scotch? ... "You're all out"? What? The heck can you run out o' scotch? Ugh... Fine, I'll just... I'll just get whatever you've got left. ... Yeah, alright, I'll take a shot o' whiskey.

(gulps down drink, then gasps with vigor) Oh, yeah, that's the stuff!

Heh. Now, as I was sayin'... Uh... What was I saying...? Uhhh..." (falls asleep and begins snoring)

#darkiplier #dark #markiplier #mark #markiplier community #va #voice acting #audio #theglitchedsystem

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swanqueeneverafter · 6 years

Text

18. We Are Both, Pt.5

The Enchanted Forest. Past. (Prince Charming is seen burning a candle in his mother's memory.) Snow White: “I'm so sorry. She was all the family you had left.” Prince Charming: “No. I still have you. I love you, Snow. And together, we can start a new family. Here. (Brings out amulet:) This belonged to her. She would've wanted you to have it. She said that it could tell you what your child would be.” (He tries to put it Snow White's in hand but she resists.) Snow White: “Please don't.” Prince Charming: “It's just a superstition.” Snow White: “There's something I need to tell you.” Prince Charming: “What is it? What's wrong?” Snow White: “Wh... (Pause. The amulet starts swinging east to west, surprised:) we're going to have a child.” Prince Charming: “What?” Snow White: “We're going to have a child.” Prince Charming: “Is there something I need to know?” Snow White: (Elated:) “I mean someday.” Prince Charming: “Well, of course we are. What's it say it's gonna be? It's gonna be a boy, right? I can never remember which direction means what.” Snow White: “It's a surprise.” Prince Charming: “I'll send the signal for the army to regroup. We are gonna take back the kingdom, Snow, and we are going to do it as a family.” (They kiss and Charming jogs over to his horse.) Snow White: (Realising something, turns to Lancelot:) “This is because of you, isn't it? Ruth only pretended to drink the water. She had you put it in the wedding chalice so I would drink it. That's how King George's curse was broken, wasn't it?” Lancelot: I have no idea what you're talking about. (Smiles:) So... what's your child gonna be?” Snow White: “A girl.”

The Enchanted Forest. Present. Royal Castle. Mary Margaret: “Lancelot was one of the noblest knights I ever knew.” Mulan: “How could I be so blind? How could I not see that it was Cora?” Emma: “Well, to be fair, the whole shape-shifting thing threw me, too.” Mulan: “What are we going to tell the people on the island?” Mary Margaret: “The truth... that Lancelot was cut down by a terrible villain. He died an honorable death.” Mulan: “Cora's still out there. We need to find her. We need to defend what's left of the kingdom.” Aurora: “Who's going to lead us? You?” Mulan: “No. Her.” Mary Margaret: “I'm honored, but Emma and I still have to find a way back to Storybrooke.” Mulan: “We'll help you. We'll find a way, won't we?” Aurora: “Yes. Perhaps it'll help me channel my anger.” Mulan: “Come.” (Aurora and Mulan head out of the room.) Emma: “I'm, uh... sorry I torched our ride home. I couldn't let her get to Henry. I just...” Mary Margaret: “You had to put Henry first.” Emma: “I was angry at you for so long... wondering how you could choose to let me grow up without you. But then just seeing all this... You gave up everything for me and you're still doing that. Sorry. I'm not good at this. I... I guess I just... I'm not... I'm not used to someone putting me first.” Mary Margaret: “Oh. (They hug:) Well, get used to it.” (Emma turns and leaves the nursery as Mary Margaret takes one last look around. Remembering what it looked like before the curse and mourning all that could have been.)

Storybrooke. Main Street. (Emerging from behind a post, Jefferson waits for Paige at the school bus stop. He calls to her, and they are both overjoyed to be reunited.) Jefferson: “Grace.” Grace: (Stops and turns, running to him:) “Papa! You found me. I knew you would.” (They share a massive embrace.) Elsewhere. (People are slowly adjusting to their new realities. The garage and other stores are re-opening. The remaining dwarves emerge from the hardware store, pickaxes in hand.) Mr. Clark: “What do you need those for?” Leroy: “Don't worry, brother. You've lost something. It's gonna take fairy dust to get it back. So we're gonna do what we do best. Come on, boys. It's off to work we go.” Granny’s Diner. (Henry finds Marco sitting alone at a table and whispers in his ear.) Cut To: August’s Room, Granny’s B&B. (Marco makes to knock on the door but it’s already open. Walking inside, Marco sees that the room is empty. Save for Pinocchio’s small red hat which Marco strokes lovingly.)

Storybrooke. Present. Mr. Gold's shop. (The door bells jingle.) Mr. Gold: “It appears when I bought that ‘closed’ sign, I was just throwing my money away.” David: “Looks like it.” Mr. Gold: “Sorry to hear about your wife and daughter. If you're looking for a retrieval, I'm afraid portal-jumping is just outside my purview.” David: “Of course it is.” Mr. Gold: “So what's the commotion outside?” David: “A little stir at the border. A problem crossing the line.” Mr. Gold: “Do tell.” David: “You lose your memory of everything of our old lives." Mr. Gold: “What?” David: “I guess that curse you created was a little too powerful. Looks like we're stuck here.” Mr. Gold: (With barely controlled anger:) “Leave me alone.” David: “Gladly. If you do the same. You and I... we stay out of each other's way.” (Charming turns and leaves the shop as Gold, infuriated, begins to smash things.) Dr. Archie Hopper's Office. (Dr. Hopper opens his office door, Regina Mills is standing there.) Dr. Hopper: “Regina. Are you here to see me?” Regina: “I'm going to try to keep my promise to Henry.” Dr. Hopper: “What promise is that?” Regina: “To not use magic. It’ll be difficult.” Dr. Hopper: (Smiles:) “This is an excellent start. Come on in.”

Outside Granny’s. (David and Henry talk.) David: “Hey. It exists, Henry. The Enchanted Forest is still out there.” Henry: “And... so are they.” David: “Yeah.” Henry: “But how do we know they survived the trip there?” David: “Because I can feel it. I've been thinking, if you're gonna start helping me, we gotta make sure we do this right. So I picked up these.” (Holds up a pair of wooden swords.) Henry: “Seriously?” David: “Yeah, you're the grandson of a prince. I think it's about time you learned how to use a sword. Henry, I can't get 'em back without you. So? What do you say? You with me?” Henry: “Can you teach me how to fight a dragon?” David: “We'll work our way up to it. (Hands a sword to Henry then bows:) My liege. En garde.” (The pair play fight all the way home as Albert Spencer, the District Attorney, aka. King George watches them from his car with interest.) Storybrooke. Town Line. (Mr. Gold stands staring despondently at the town line.) Enchanted Forest. Present day. (A man is standing on a beach and looking through his telescope.) Cora: (Approaching:) “Hello, Hook.” Captain Hook: “Hello, Cora. You told me you'd something important you needed to show me. (Cora shows him a bottle that has magic in it:) Sparkly dirt. Wonderful.” Cora: “Just the remains of a magical wardrobe, that can travel between worlds.” Captain Hook: “Is it enough to get us where we need to go?” Cora: “Not quite, but it's a start.” Captain Hook: “We're almost ready to set sail. What's our port of destination?” Cora: “Storybrooke.” Captain Hook: “Hmm. Curious name. Is that where...” Cora: “She is. And so is he.” Captain Hook: “Excellent. You'll be able to see your daughter and I can skin myself a crocodile.”

The End.

#sq #Swan Queen #swanqueen

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mangokiwitropicalswirl · 7 years

Text

Gillovny and Buyer’s Remorse

I don’t know if this is necessary or even helpful. We probably don’t need anymore voices weighing in on the state of things in the fandom, so if you’re sick of things and want to look past this, please do. If you venture below the cut, please take this in the spirit you know I intend it -- as a longtime X Files fan with a sometimes-too-soft heart that was weaned on MSR yearning, but who is also striving for a clear-eyed grasp of reality. Here goes:

Since the events of last October, we have had two stark options. 1. To believe that G and D were in a romantic relationship that had come to an abrupt end sometime in September (factoring in Chicago Con, Schmoopie shirts and kind comments about “new incarnation of friendship” uttered at cons early last fall). Or, option 2. To accept that what we saw, read and observed between D and G over the preceding 2 (3?) years was literally nothing more than their typical handsy BFF behavior and a liberal dose of fandom trolling.

Many people were easily able to accept option #2 and move on. Others felt that option #1 might have been the case, and if so, well, earlier behavior on twitter was understandably coming to an end.

But Option #1 didn’t really bear out as we observed a few continued playful interactions between G and D on twitter and nothing but positives on Ds end when he spoke about her at a con in January. And then came the Webby’s, which put to rest any idea that there might have been an acrimonious breakup of any kind.

Which circles us all back to option #2. Which is where we are today.

I see a lot of posts claiming that Gillovny fans are “angry” at G for her trolling of fans throughout the past couple years, but I haven’t seen much of that anger. What has been hard to stomach for those of us who have been slow to accept Option #2, is the accusation that I am somehow “not happy for Gillian” because she isn’t “dating who I want.”

This is ridiculous.

Of course I am happy if G is happy. Who she dates is something I have absolutely no control over, nor would I want to. She obviously knows herself, knows what she needs from a relationship, and has her own history with men to work with. I -- and I dare say, none of the folks who shipped Gillovny -- would never suggest that I somehow know better for her than she knows for herself.

And yet, we’re stuck with feelings. Lots of feelings. And I have been trying to pin down the nature of those feelings a little more precisely. It’s not anger, because that would assume there was something to be angry about. And it’s not sadness, because again, why should I be sad if Gillian is happy?

No, the feeling I am feeling is a very serious and intense case of buyer’s remorse.

Because I. Fucking. Bought it.

I bought into the Gillovny ship big time. It honestly was part of what brought me back into the fandom because, lord knows, the narrative of two old sometimes-at-odds costars now blissfully happy to be together (in whatever form) was a damn better narrative than ANYTHING written in season 10. And here’s the crux:

I bought into the Gillovny ship because it was being sold to me. They sold the ever-loving shit out of it for several years.

Some people will say we should not have bought it, that Gillian always maintained it was a game, that David tried to sternly shut it down numerous times. But to say we shouldn’t have bought it is sort of like saying to a person during the subprime mortgage crisis that they shouldn't have taken the stupidly low mortgage rate on a beautiful house that’s sitting right in front of them. Gillovny was sitting right in front of us. It was set up for us to buy into.

And even though occasionally a realtor might pipe up and remind you, “Hey this house has kind of a shaky foundation, perhaps don't buy it,” we did anyway. I bought it. This gorgeous newly renovated Victorian with the wraparound porch and a pool in the back where you can swim all day in your red speedos.

Why did we do this? Mostly, because we LOVE watching them together. The intensity of their smiles at one another could power the fuel needs of a small country. It was the sight of them together that powered us through more than a few (cough *half* cough) lackluster seasons and films of a weird, incoherent show about aliens.

Don’t mishear me, either. I don’t mean to imply that there is NOTHING between D and G. There is obviously a shit ton of chemistry and a lot of affection. That is REAL. It always has been. What I’m talking about is the Gillovny narrative and how far it was teased and toyed with, which is something altogether different.

But now, we look back on this house that we bought, this narrative, and we realize there's never been a foundation. We bought the big beautiful house at the persuasion of the delightful realtors, and now we are left trying to figure out how to pay for it all emotionally.

And our friends down the street who (wisely) never made a down payment on the house, are laughing at us, telling us to grab our stuff and MOVE THE FUCK OUT when we are still enamored of the beauty of the place. We took out a 23-year mortgage and now we’re underwater. It’s hard to just pick up and move.

Not only that, from the moment of Gillian holding up the Duchovny jersey at the 2015 TCAs to the August 2016 Schmoopie shirt, it has been 100% in David and Gillian’s best interest for us to buy into Gillovny. I’ll say that again. Despite repeated denials throughout that timeframe, AND some noteable non-denials (e.g. WHHL), it remained in their best financial interest to fuel the rumors and draw attention to themselves by any and all means. And I’ll add -- it is also in Orlando Jones’s and Bryan Fuller’s, and anybody else interested in harnessing the power of Gillovny to garner attention for their show or project. Gillovny sells, bitches.

Think of it like the realtor trying to sell you the house you can’t afford. Sure, she may occasionally remind you that maybe you shouldn’t buy into this one, but in the end, she’s getting the commission, so why would she really try that hard to stop you?

If you:

bought the XF season 10 DVD,

subscribed to Netflix to watch X Files, Aquarius, or The Fall,

bought photo ops or VIP packages at any of the Comic Cons,

bought tickets to Streetcar,

donated to Lick-my-Face, Childreach Int’l or other DDGA charities,

tickets to David’s concerts,

David’s album,

Gillian’s novels,

Gillian’s WE book and its various causes and events,

David’s novels,

a magazine with their photos on the cover,

a photo sold by a photographer (hi Mark Mann),

started a Tumblr blog (hello there ad clicks),

followed them on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook (hello Q score)

Or any of the other numerous ways in which money can be generated by your interest in and devotion to them as interesting and noteworthy individuals, you have participated in this celebrity transactional relationship.

I am not pointing fingers because I certainly have done about 30% of the things on the above list. The nature of our relationship to celebrities is by necessity one of transaction. We buy what they are selling, and in this case, we were buying the narrative of Gillian and David together. Their chemistry is ceaselessly watchable, so much so that it spills over from the X-Files to fuel interest in their other projects. They have used it to marvelous success.

But remember that every time you spend money on a DVD or a concert ticket, a theater ticket or a book, you're engaging in a transaction between yourself and their brand. NOT between yourself and a real, actual individual.

Here are my own actual financial Gillovny-prompted expenditures:

Season 10 Revival DVD - $19.95 (free shipping, thanks Amazon prime)

David’s new novel on Kindle - $12

Donation to Gillian’s Skype call auction - $75

Purchase of two of Gillian’s shirts for SAYes charity - $125

Grand total = $231.95

This might sound crass. Or it might sound obvious. But it bears remembering as we work through our disappointment that the romantic narrative we were sold had no basis in reality. Tweets and media mentions are all part of brand creation, and both David and Gillian have benefited from the idea of a relationship between them. It never made sense for them to shut things down entirely as long as there still remained projects and charities to bring attention to. Gillian’s charity t-shirt auctions were a marvelous way to monetize the Gillovny brand for good.

Where we’re stuck now, though, is that all of a sudden, we have been asked to buy something else. Back in the fall, Brand Gillovny went offline, very nearly taking X Files season 11 with it. In its place, we have been offered, Brand The Crown, and Brand Serious Charity Work, Brand Feminism Book and Brand Rockstar. Some folks have made the switch to these new brands easily, while others are still reeling a bit from the sudden change.

What saddens me is the attitude that if someone hasn’t been able to transfer their brand loyalty seemlessly, somehow that means we aren’t as genuine a fan of David or Gillian as we should be. Let’s just remember, none of us has a relationship with G or D. We only have a relationship with their image, and therefore, it is okay not to want to continue a relationship with an image that has changed in a way that we don’t like as much. I don’t have to move into the house next door to the house I actually wanted just because it’s in the same neighborhood.

It’s pointless now to go back over the last couple years looking for clues or debating what was true and what wasn’t. It would be easy to pass all sorts of judgements on the appropriateness of certain branding choices (I’m looking at you WHHL and Schmoopie shirt), but no answers will satisfy everyone.

I hope that thinking about D & G in this way might help those of us who’re reeling from the death of our dream house, and also help those who have successfully moved on understand those of us who may not have done so yet.

Peace fandom. And hope for a great season 11. Because MSR is why we were here in the first place, and fiction is forever.

#gillovny #perhaps an ill-advised series of comments #but there you have it #my thoughts #mywriting

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