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swordsmans · 3 months

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i just really, really love the idea of zoro having no real "survival skills" because he had a much more traditional (if atypical) childhood/youth than most of the crew. bandit heritage aside, he was raised in a tight-knit and relatively peaceful community with (at best) agricultural outskirts. he doesn't leave until he's much older, at which point he becomes a bounty hunter as a way to make money (to pay for food, shelter, etc. presumably in villages, towns, and cities). we know from the non-canon johnny and yosaku backstories that he "hunted" for bounties in cities/towns, at least partially.

meanwhile luffy has been running around the wilderness since he was like seven years old, securing his own food, building fire and shelter, and just generally toughening up/learning how to live in nature. we know he had a pretty extensive knowledge of bugs and how to catch them, so with that + his childhood i don't think it's a stretch to assume he also has an understanding of edible plants and non-monstrous wildlife (even if its not all applicable outside the East Blue). he's survived on his own in the wilderness for years at a time at least twice in canon.

i think it's fun to think of them having... some sort of "zoro is lost in more ways than one" kinda vibe early on in their journey, especially since they're constantly broke pre-timeskip and we know that at least by little garden the crew has started hunting and foraging to supplement their stores. you could absolutely rope the rest of the east blue grew into this, but zoro is still sort of the outlier with his background.

i dunno. maybe i just like the image of luffy trying to teach zoro how to hunt or fish and both of them just having the dumbest time with it. luffy would be really earnest but impatient--and zoro would be stubborn about admitting he doesn't know shit but would still listen and absorb anyway.

luffy having no clue how to start small and work up to new skills, so they end up going after massive wild boars or something as a first or second lesson and zoro just rolls with it because sure, yeah, thats normal. what the hell does he know? (and also hes fucking. zoro. so.)

or luffy teaching zoro to fish normally but also like a bear fishes (standing knee-deep in the water and catching fish with his bare hands) because it looks more fun that way and he cant. and zoro just fucking up soooo bad but getting really competitive anyway, even though luffy is just, like, sitting on a nearby rock yelling (frankly terrible) directions at him or something. zoro catches nothing and luffy tells him he looks stupid getting angry at the river so of course zoro is going to master fucking. bare-handed fishing because the man's got one braincell and its 99% stubborn pride.

he fucking sucks at starting a fire, wouldnt even consider building proper shelter, and in general would not make it 0.2 seconds outside a populated environment without his captain--a guy raised by the jungle and ace, who was basically a wild animal himself.

idk. survival-competent luffy is very near and dear to my heart.

#not really a country/city dynamic because its like... not that. but luffy is basically the east blue les stroud and thats so funny to me #a bear grylls kinda guy #which is to say nothing of their differences in formal education #dunno if ill write another fic about it but its like... the other side of math/bilingual zoro headcanons to me #i think about this more often than i should tbh #zolu #gyro.txt

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sadsongsandwaltzes · 1 month

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I am not a psychologist so I have no clue if this is just my own crackpot theory or what. And my apologies if I’m speaking out of my ass here.

We were not made for a fallen world. We were made for Eden. Since we have to live in this world corrupted by sin, the brain does what it has to in order to survive.

A toddler doesn’t know what “hot” means, until one day you warn the child not to touch a plate because it’s “hot,” they touch anyways, they feel the sting, and now they understand what “hot” means. The brain, now acknowledging this is something that can be a threat, has an immediate response to “hot.” Anytime someone says “hot,” we immediately recoil and make sure we don’t touch whatever is believed to be hot. The brain is simply trying to survive.

I think there’s a similar thing happening with trauma response. It’s the brain doing the same thing, but to such an extreme degree that it’s almost impossible to function. If someone survives a near fatal car crash, they may panic when they go near a car. Why? Because the brain has learned this thing to be an immediate and serious threat. The brain is now trained to fear and recoil. If you lived in a war zone and learned to sleep with one eye open so to speak, the brain is now trained to sense danger at every turn, especially when you’re in such a vulnerable state as sleep. You’re living in a constant state of anxiety because you expect a fatal threat. It’s why sudden noises and movements can trigger anxiety.

The brain is doing what it does. It adapts to perceived threats for survival. This heightened state of anxiety is deemed necessary by the brain, but we were not made to live in such a state. We cant. So the brain is, ironically, slowly killing itself. The brain is rewired and burned out and always looking for that next serious threat. It’s always reminding us that the threat looms. It’s where the subconscious lives. It’s why there’s constant anxiety, why there’s nightmares.

Of course, this can be exacerbated if the trauma is accompanied by severe grief or guilt.

This brings me to my point. If you would not tell someone to just pray the cancer away, I don’t think you can tell them to just pray the trauma away. We’re talking about a real physiological problem happening.

I think grief and guilt can be assuaged by the gospel. But the brain’s inner working itself? It’s a medical problem the same as any other. God absolutely can heal trauma same as cancer, but sometimes he doesn’t. Faith can absolutely bring about peace in hardships and give us the strength to carry on, but it’s not a guarantee that God will remove the hardship. That would be prosperity gospel.

And with all of this we can also recognize that certain treatments or habits may help relieve symptoms without fully curing, it exists on a medical spectrum.

And I think this is true about a lot of mental illness.

For the record, I think most mental illness in modern America is actually spiritual illness. And I think most psychologists are looney tunes. But people abusing a certain field of study and being stupid and misdiagnosing doesn’t negate the field of study as a whole.

If every sick person who walks into a doctors office no matter the symptoms gets diagnosed with cancer, it means the doctor is a quack and we have a problem of over diagnosis of a disease. But it doesn’t mean the disease isn’t real and that a certain percentage of the population doesn’t actually suffer from it. That would be a downright foolish thought.

Hormones, brain function, all of it can affect the mind. The brain is a complex organ. We still can’t fully understand it. And I don’t think we ever will. We know the brain can affect the mind. If it didn’t, people with TBIs would never suffer from sudden mental illness or personality shifts.

It seems wholly unchristian to deny the reality of both our body and the fallen state of the world.

#I mean we can debate treatments and that all day #I for one think exposure therapy goes a lot further than talk therapy most of the time #because if the brain is wired wrongly #we need to actively rewire it #and certain things come about not because of a certain event #but by birth #just like someone might be born with a hole in their heart #it’s possible for someone to be born with a brain not functioning right #but these are all a million different rabbit trails #but boy I am tired of the ‘just be a good Christian and you won’t have problems’#mindset of MacArthur and crew

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chifuyudck · 5 months

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CHRISTMAS WITH THE BROTHERS

obey me brothers x gn!mc ~ SFW

summary: after talking lots about christmas on how you can’t wait for it, one of the brothers asked you “what is a christmas.” you were shocked, they didnt know what christmas was?!

a/n: guys i wrote this fic in summer break and i didn’t even post it on time, no way!! anyways enjoy! (sorry for grammar mistakes, english isn’t my first language)

——————————————————————————

you were outside together with mammon, after you kept bugging him to go outside with you, he finally agreed, you recall him saying something like “my human can’t go nowhere without me.” this was kinda true, because lucifer wouldn’t allow you outside alone, since the snowy weather is way more extreme in devildom than in the human realm.

even when you were wearing thick layers of clothing, you couldn’t help but to shiver, which didn’t go unnoticed by mammon. he sighed looking at you, with slight worry in his eyes. “oi, human, how are ya’ still cold with all those damn layers of clothing? i don’ get ya’ at all.”

“i cant help it mammon, it’s cold here.” you reply, a tiny cloud from condense slips from your slightly parted lips. “i’m not that blind, ya’ know?” he pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arm around your waist. “what’s better than havin’ the great mammon warm ya’ up when you’re cold?” his cocky façade rather quickly breaks as a warm blush appears on his cheeks.

you giggled softly and nodded in agreement, it was nice to have him warm you up, “what’s up with you wantin’ to go outside all the time anyways?” he suddenly asked. “umm.. i just love snow, and the month december in general, because it reminds me of christmas!” you said awfully excited. mammon slowly nodded, having no clue what christmas is, but it hurts his ego too much to ask a mere human what the meaning of the word is.

a notification was heard on both of your d.d.d, mammon grabbed his first, “hm? oh, levi says dinner is almost ready, ‘nd we should come home before beel starts eatin’ it all.” you both sighed, mammon because his alone time with you was over, and you because you haven’t spent much time in the snow, than you wish you could’ve.

luckily you were not that far away from the house of lamentation, as soon as you got inside you went towards your bedroom to take off all the layers of clothes you had put on. after you had freshen up and changed your clothes you walked into the dining room, which was quite chaotic since lucifer was the only brother not there yet.

you sat between satan and belphie, who were both saving a spot for you, “finally you’re here mc, it was boring without you.” satan said, having belphie nod in agreement. “mc, wanna do something to make us feel less bored?” you looked at belphie in confusion, “umm, sure?” you said not knowing what to expect from them.

“what! you want me to pie-face lucifer, are you crazy?” you said, causing a sigh slip from belphie’s lips. “it’s alright, no pressure mc.” satan said, although it would’ve been a funny sight seeing that happen to lucifer he understands your answer.

as soon as lucifer steps into the dining room, the brothers start devouring their foods, you start eating too, spacing a bit out while looking around in the dining room, you come to the realisation that there aren’t any christmas decorations in this room, no, there aren’t any christmas decorations in the whole house!

after swallowing the piece of food you had been chewing on, you part your lips to ask a question, “so why aren’t there any christmas decorations around the house? it’s almost christmas..” your question causes some eyes to pop up to you, and some are too focused on the meal before them.

your eyes shoot over to lucifer, as he clears his throat and seems like he’s about to say something, “i’m not quite sure what ‘a christmas’ is, mc.” then your eyes shoot over to asmo who seems like he’s about to say something too. “hmm, now that you mention it, i never really understood anything you said about this christmas thing, hon.”

you look at them in confusion, suddenly satan starts speaking, “i have read something about christmas before, it’s some sort of holiday, i didn’t really understand what it was all about though.” you were shocked, this must be some crazy prank they’re pulling on you… no.. lucifer wouldn’t play a part in pranks, and mammon has been awfully quiet, right… mammon knew what christmas was, right?

your eyes shot up to mammon, who tries to avoid looking in your eyes, “mammon, you know what christmas is right? we talked about it just now..” mammon simply nods, keeping quiet. you squint your eyes, he’s lying. you take a moment to think this through. “wait… am i about to introduce you all to christmas?!” only thinking about it makes you squeal in excitement.

all the brothers looked at you a bit confused, except for beel, who didn’t even mind gazing towards you since he was a bit too busy with finishing his 4th plate already.

——————————————————————————

LUCIFER

lucifers’ room was up for christmas decoration, all though you weren’t really sure if you’d even get him far enough to decorate his room. you knocked on his door twice, hearing a soft sentence of your approval to enter from him, you didn’t waste a second to open the door.

“lucifer, your room is up for christmas decoration!” you exclaim excitedly, you walk in with a box filled with different types of decorations. “i’m not that interested mc, you should spare it for the rest of the house instead.” you immediately shake your head, as expected, he’d make some form of an excuse.

“no excuses lucifer! i’m already unpacking. and is that classical music i’m hearing? didn’t i tell you to listen to christmas music instead?” you shake your head in disappointment. “i only listen to music from recorders, whereas i don’t own any christmas recorders.” lucifer said, you grabbed something from your box, a christmas recorder, “i got it just for you!” you walk over to swap the recorders, the first song that starts playing is joy to the world, you noticed lucifer looked a bit annoyed, he’ll get over it soon anyways.

you walked back to the box with decorations, you were going to keep it as small as possible since you knew lucifer would be upset if you made too many changes in his room. you reached out for a christmas sock you made for him, with his name sewn on it and having cute reindeer patterns.

you tip-toed to reach out for the part of the wall you wanted to hang it on, but to your surprise, you couldn’t quite reach it. your eyes went around the room, searching for something you could possibly stand on to hang the sock up. this didn’t go unnoticed by lucifer, he stood up from his desk and walked away from his office, into the bedroom that was attached to it, and where you were.

he took the sock from your hands and hung it perfectly on the spot where you wanted it to be, you smiled softly at him. “thank you, lucifer.” you said, he reflected your soft smile back to you, “it’s nothing.”

you pick up the box from the ground, ready to leave his room, as you turn around to leave, lucifer’s voice sounds, “hold on… is this everything my room gets?” he asks, he actually doesn’t really care about the decorations, he just likes it when you accompany him. “hm? i thought you wouldn’t like more decorations..” you say, actually surprised. “well, you’re wrong then, mc… i’ll help you decorate the rest of the house too... i just don’t want you to get injured, because that would be hurting lord diavolo’s image…” he says, you nod, excited. “alright, let's get started then!”

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MAMMON & BEELZEBUB

you were humming a familiar christmas song quietly, while making your way to the kitchen. as you enter the room, like usual, beel is rummaging through differents cabins and the refrigerator. “hi, mc.” beel mumbles while chewing on some crisps satan had left on the counter.

your eyes quickly fall upon the box on the table, which pulls a relieved sigh from you. when you start opening the box, beel’s eyes shoot towards you, most likely because of the sound of the plastic wrap around the various foods. “what’s that?” beel asks curiously as he gets closer.

“a gingerbread house! do you want to make one together?” you ask him, and he quickly replies with an excited nod. he truly is adorable, no clue what a gingerbread house is, but still willing to play a part in making them.

as you start working on getting the gingerbread intact, beel unconsciously gets closer, really close to the point we’re he’s standing behind you, and towering over you, to reach the gingerbread house on the kitchen table.

a small blush creeps on your cheeks, however beel doesn’t even seem to notice how close you guys truly are. not like you mind, it’s peaceful working together like this.

that is until a loud mammon barges into the kitchen, “where’s mc- here ya are!” he says excitedly, beel unconsciously moves away from you as mammon gets closer. mammon points at the gingerbread house with raised eyebrows. “what’s that… thing?”

“a gingerbread house.” you and beel both say in union, mammon shrugs, still unsure what that means. “you wanna help? mc is really good at making them!” beel asks mammon, which turns your lips in a soft smile. mammon gazes at you for a second, and starts blushing, “leave it to me!”

now you have both mammon and beel standing behind you and towering over you, looking closely at your creation which you are still working on. with mammon’s rather special questions he comes up with, and beel eating the decoration, the three of you manage to finish the gingerbread house quickly.

——————————————————————————

LEVIATHAN & ASMODEUS

as you we’re tying your shoe laces together, a busy leviathan almost stumbled over your crouched figure. he lets out a gasp, dropping his phone, which he held horizontally, on the floor. “a-are y-you ok-kay?” he asks with a flushed face, flustered by what happened.

you let out a soft giggle as you nod, “i’m fine, levi.” he lets out a relieved sigh and fetches his phone from the ground. as you finish tying your shoes, you stand up and realise he’s wearing a coat. “are you heading out, levi?” you ask quite surprised, since levi barely goes outside, even for school.

“yeah, i’m going to a second-hand figurines store, supposedly there’s a rare TSL-figure of the lord of corruption from volume 2, you could only get one in a specific TSL-convention, sadly they ran out before i could get my hands on one.” he says in almost one breath, you chuckle softly, intrigued by how quickly levi starts oversharing when he’s excited.

“well since i’m heading out to buy christmas presents, we should go together?” you ask him, a blush creeps on his cheeks and before he can reply with loads of stuttering, asmodeus chirps throughout the hallway. “take me with you!”

you both turn towards an excited asmo, which makes you smile softly at him. “sure, come with us.” quickly the aura shifts, which gives you a frightened feeling, levi is envying asmo over this interreaction. you quickly place your hand in levi’s which makes him forget about asmo. and the three of you go outside.

asmo is hanging onto your arm, getting closer and closer by the second, while levi is barely holding your hand since he’s too flustered to strengthen his grip, the difference between them makes you giggle. “what’s so funny?” asmo asks, genuinely curious, “nothing.” you snicker.

——————————————————————————

SATAN

you’re in satan’s bedroom, sitting on his bed in particular. you’re just fiddling with your d.d.d while satan reads a book about different holidays. “who came up with the idea of bringing bad kids to spain if they misbehave?” your eyes shoot up to him as he suddenly starts quizzing you.

“what?” you let out a laugh as you crawl closer to him, to see where he got that information from. he looks at you with raised eyebrows as he’s unsure of what this means.

“i think this is a different traditional holiday, satan.” you snicker, and his eyes widen, “i think this one is from, the netherlands.” you tell him. he closes the book with a satisfying thud and lets a sigh as he lays down on his bed. “i hate to say it, but i don’t understand these holidays at all.” he says.

you chuckle and lay down next to you, fitting precisely between a pile of books and satan. “do you want me to explain it to you, again?” you ask him, he nods and turns towards you. although you’ve already explained it to him a few times, you don’t mind telling him again.

——————————————————————————

BELPHEGOR

on december 24th, everyone is getting ready for the evening you planned, it was christmas eve, you noticed everyone was busy getting ready except belphegor.

which a soft sigh you knock on the twins’ bedroom door, which beel immediately opens, “hi mc- wow, you look amazing.” he says, you smile softly as a blush creeps on your cheeks. “thanks beel.” you say.

beel unnanounced lets you into the bedroom, and your eyes fall upon belphie’s sleeping figure in his bed. as you make your way closer to him beel mentions that belphie has been napping for a while now. you sit on belphegor’s bed and pull his comforters away slightly. a chuckle errupts from you as you notice that belphie is already wearing a suit.

since you’re already ready to go, you decide to help belphie get ready. by starting off with combing his soft hair, you had never noticed how healthy it truly was. you use one of his colognes on him, which makes him sniffle a bit. beel looks at the both of you with admiration as he loves his favourite people caring about each other.

he continues sleeping peacefully until he stirs awake when you put a face mask on him. “mc? what are you doing here?” he mumbles, obviously still drowsy. “helping you get ready, you fell asleep belphie.” you tell him softly, and help him sit up while he lets out a yawn.

you remove the face mask from his now soft and glowing face while he stares at you in awe. “hmm, oh.. your mascara smudged.” he mumbles, and he wipes it away with his finger. now you’re both helping each other get ready.

#obey me #obey me x mc #belphegor #gender neutral y/n #lucifer #om! mc #asmodeus #beelzebub #gender neutral reader #mammon #leviathan #satan #christmas

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neoputo · 6 months

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adam is... DEAD?!?!

finally rewatching good omens s2 and this might've already been discussed but i haven't read anything abt it and ahh okay

so i was (re)watching s2e1 and everything was fun and games until i decided to pause every now and then during the intro to see if i could spot some details or clues or whatever. and DAMN there's a lot. some i understand, some i don't, and some i think are either symbolic to smth that happens OR a vague maybe not so vague anticipation of what's coming up on s3 (manifesting the shit out of it bc i NEED IT SO BAD).

anyway, at the beginning of the intro animation there's this scene where crowley and aziraphale (among other characters) are walking through a graveyard. this ofc is a reference to the minisode they help the girls in the graveyard & the whole "not dying enuff dying" etc scene (i don't remember the name of it nor the year but y'know what i'm talkin bout). anyway, that's not the point. the point is that in that moment of the intro, you can see some tombstones AND some of them have things written on em. for instance, one of them says "everyday" (y'know the name of beelzebub and gabriel's song) and another "jane austen" (aziraphale and the whole "having a ball jane austen style is peak romance" thing) which are interesting clues of what's coming, but having watched the season already wasn't that big of a revelation to me.

however, there's also some tombstones that i don't understand, like one that says "peter paintball" (crowley's voice do we know a peter paintball?).

okay but that's not all! there's also one that talks abt beelzebub's change of appearance ("here lies the former shell of beelzebub") AND next to that one there's one that says "here lies ADAM / "i do not understand, surely your very existence requires the ending of the world. it is written" (quote from s1 or at least it's in the book idk)

BRO WHAT ???? ADAM'S DEAD??????? like ik he and the other kids don't appear in s2, but neither does anathema or newton or shadwell or madam tracey (her actress does, but the character doesn't). and like idk but reading that shocked me bc like... adam served no purpose anymore so he died?? all this time i thought he was like,, the same kid but without his powers or wtv.. but die? never thought of that. and it drives me insane and i needed to get it out of my system. so yeah, tumblr post.

bonus: i cant fucking figure out what's written on it. if anyone knows what it says.. help !!

all i can read is smth along the lines of "... early to ..." but idk. tried to play with contrasts and brightness but it didn't help much.

anyway, pls don't let me go nuts alone and say smth !!!

also this is only a small fraction of s2e1 INTRO. like,, there's a lot to unpack here.

#good omens #good omens meta #go2 #good omens 2 #good omens analysis #good omens season two #good omens details #good omens intro

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awesomefringey · 2 months

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I need to get this off my chest because its just killing me these past 2 days. I was a larrie, now turned neutral. I love them both so much and I adore them both separately. Their music literally saved me and they will forever be my fave. Do I think they were once in a relationship, yes! Like you can clearly see till the end of 1d we had pretty clear idea about it as well. For the next few years, their lyrics, them signing towards a relationship, etc gave them off. I was sure about their relationship till then. I also understood that there were some hitches here and there. But for the past few years they have mostly kept the topic of larry closed. I have now grown up enough to understand that we literally don't even know 1% of their actual lives so how can we assume that they have a relationship when we have literally not gotten some clue more than a bit of blue greening from their side which amounts to nothing. Like we dk if they broke up or do they just want a pvt relationship yk so why are we so set on making assumptions? Why are we interfering so much? Like back in 2015, with rbb and sbb, larry wanted us to take a hint and talk about it. They wanted to show their love through these hints they dropped. Now they just don't want it these days so why cant we understand that and just support their music without searching for "hints" in each of their actions or posts? Here by we, I mean larries. And what I have seen is that tumblr larries are smart and understand this all. Whereas twitter larries are just becoming too senseless and even a bit annoying without actually giving it all a thought. Like girl, just think about it logically and stop acting like a fool. They really need to take a step back and analyze a bit.

I think the biggest delusion that WE as a fandom fell for in the last couple of years was to believe LARRIES are a community of people with shared values and interests.

This fandom fell apart the second the individual became more important than the collective. Everyone’s the main character now. Being a fan of Larry has become a lifestyle that has to fit personal interests first and foremost.

And depending on how self-righteous people are to think that makes them smarter than everyone else a different stance will get berated, ridiculed and met with an arrogance that is hard to understand considering we all sit in the same boat.

My advice to “Larries” would be to stop making each and every single opinion everyone else’s problem. Maybe we can breathe a little and let each other be, huddle with our moots and be peaceful, that’d be nice.

#ask #fandom experience

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twopoppies · 2 months

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Other than adding TikTok larries to the list of fans who take things too far, I very much agree with everything you’ve said.

I also get that it can be very hard to let go of things like seeing patterns and making interpretations of lyrics. I’m just trying to keep in mind that “Larry” no longer seems to be one of the main aspects of what the two of them are trying to communicate these days. I’m trying to respect that.

#current thoughts on Larry #Fandom dynamics #FWIW there are loose cannons on Tumblr too #😉

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pastanest · 1 year

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if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @rosieathena - thanks so much!! ♡

Spencer Reid x she/her!reader

part one can be found here

Gone - Part Two

Spencer blinked rapidly, his brain feeling life kicked back into it for the first time in two years as he storms into Hotch’s office, barging in without knocking on the door and slamming the piece of paper on his desk. Aaron’s eyes widen as he reads it.

“Where did you-“

Spencer cuts him off. “It was on my desk this morning. You know what day it is, this isnt a coincidence.”

He nods. “We can open the case back up, I’ll inform the team.” Aaron stands to his feet, but Spencer shakes his head.

“No, we cant. Last time we got involved, the unsub went dormant and has only come back 2 years on, when he knows we arent working on the case, when he thinks I’ve given up. He’s taunting me.”

Aaron‘s eyebrows furrow with concern. “What are you suggesting we do?”

Spencer begins to explain. “We have to act like nothing has happened. Im going to keep this note in an evidence bag inside my jacket, but when I walk out of this room we are going to act like we are talking about something completely different. We dont know how much this guy can see, we dont know how he operates, but by sending this letter he’s revealed one thing about himself.”

“And what is that?” Hotch questions.

“He wants to torture me. The first letter was sent to (Y/N)-“ His throat dries up just saying your name, he clears his throat with a cough and continues. “-because he knew that would get my attention, the rest of the letters were then sent to me because he knew I was gripping onto his every word. He wants me to be the only one thinking about this case, he wants to torment me while thinking Im getting no help from any of you. Our best shot at getting more information is to continue to act like nothing has changed, then he might send further clues.” Spencer explains.

Hotch nods. “I understand. This case is completely under your control, I’ll leave it up to you whether you decide to tell the rest of the team about this.”

“Thank you, I’ll tell them as discretely as I can.” Spencer turns to leave, but Aaron has more to say.

“As much as this unsub wants you to feel like this is hopeless, it isnt, Reid. This is a really good sign.”

And for the first time in two years, Spencer cracks a smile. “I know.”

Over the course of the next week, Spencer found ways to inform the team of what was going on. He managed to bring you up in conversation in a way that only one person would recognise. Spencer visited Penelope and he called her adorable, a word that (Y/N) used to describe her every time she saw her. Tears entered Garcia’s eyes and Spencer nodded at her, so she nodded back.

“Adorable, but quiet.” He clarified, and he could see the momentary confusion in her eyes before she made the connection.

“Only quiet when I have to be!” She chirped back, and Spencer knew she’d understood. Something new had happened with you, but she had to keep quiet about it.

“Does the rest of the team know how adorable you are?” He asked, already knowing the answer to his coded question.

“No..?” She said, unsure.

He nodded and smiled. “You should tell them.”

There was no way of telling what the unsub was capable of, whether he was listening or watching, but everyone had to be cautious of what they said. He could tell when the team began finding out through Garcia, because they all gave him knowing, excited smiles.

Sure enough, Spencer’s theory was correct. When he returned from the next case a week later, another note from the unsub was waiting for him on his desk.

“I’ll make sure Juliet knows you’ve given up. She’ll be with me forever.”

That told him you were still alive, he couldnt believe the unsub had willingly given such information out of sheer desperation for Spencer to pay attention to him and give him a reaction. He wanted Spencer to react so that he could go dormant again and torture him further, so Spencer had to act like he wasnt at all excited. He went to Hotch’s office again and showed him the note.

“She’s alive!”

Aaron hugged him and the two man laughed together. The situation was funny in the sense that they were successfully tricking the unsub into giving them more information, but the laugh wasnt one of humour, it was one of relief. Obviously, everyone had hoped that you were alive, but knowing for certain that you were was the best news Spencer could have possibly gotten.

He went to visit Garcia in her office again straight after.

“Guess what else you are Penelope.” Spencer said, accidentally startling her.

“What?” She asked eagerly, knowing he was going to give her another coded message that gave an update on you.

“Adorable...and alive.”

Penelope gasped, standing from her seat and running over to Spencer, who hugged her and hid his beaming smile in her shoulder.

“Thank you.” She replied, acting as though him calling her alive was a compliment, in case anyone was listening.

“I’ll make sure everyone knows.” She whispered to him, too quiet for anything else to pick up what she’d said.

When Spencer came out of the bathroom that day, Derek approached him and pulled him into a headlock that anyone else would have viewed as him messing around with him, but there was so much more meaning behind it. It made Spencer laugh, much like the interaction would have done 2 years ago. It was this hidden sense of things starting to go back to normal, hope restored.

The unsub makes a truly fatal mistake in his next delivery. This time it isnt a letter, but a gift, a small box. Spencer opens it and finds a tape inside. A tape gives a clue to the unsub’s age. Penelope manages to find a tape player for him and he takes it into one of the interrogation rooms. There is no image, it‘s only audio.

“Juuuuuliet, tell him what you want him to know.” The unsub was so desperate for attention that he made no attempt to mask his voice at all.

“You’ve given up.” Spencer chokes upon hearing your voice for the first time in two years. “Im staying here forever. I cant believe you would leave me here.” Your voice was hoarse and you were sniffling, he knows you had been crying.

That was all that was on the tape, so, where is this fatal mistake, I hear you ask? Well, Doctor Spencer Reid is very smart, but the thing is, so are you. At a few intervals in that message, you coughed, and when you did, you whispered things that would be unintelligible to anyone who didnt remember absolutely everything about your voice. And the only person in your life with the memory capacity to recall every single minute detail about your voice, happened to be the one the tape was delivered to.

Notes. That was the first thing you whispered, he knew you were referring to the post-it notes, telling him the man you’d written about seeing was the one who had taken you.

‘15m’ was the next thing you whispered. You likely wouldnt have been able to tell how many miles or metres you had travelled, and the only other value for ‘M’ that was useful in this scenario was minutes. 15 minutes away from your home, you’d counted the minutes it took for you to get to where you are now, and for two years you have held onto that.

Wear, that was the last thing you whispered in a cough, and that was the most difficult one for Spencer to figure out. It took a whole 7 seconds. Were you wearing something in particular? It cant be that. Could you have meant where? But that gives no clue. Ware! As in warehouse! That has to be it!

With no time and nothing to lose, Spencer bolts back to Hotch to fill him in on everything he’s figured out. The team meets at the round table to officially re-open the case, and Penelope starts searching for warehouses in a 15 minute distance from your home. Spencer is beyond frustrated at how quickly Penelope finds where you are, he cant believe that all this time you were held captive by someone foolish enough to only keep you 15 minutes away. But maybe that makes the unsub the opposite of a fool, because even a detail as small as the actual distance between you and Spencer is meant to torture him, knowing that you were so close by all this time is another wound to him. The team pile into separate vehicles, all heading to the same warehouse, and on the way there Spencer begins to overthink. What if you really do think he’s given up? What if you’ve given up on him? What if you dont love him anymo-

Derek nudges Spencer. “Hey, kid, I can see you doubting yourself in your own head just by the look on your face, stop it. She’s gonna have missed you just as much as you’ve missed her.”

The suddenly insecure Spencer looks to his friend for answers. “You really think so?”

Derek smiles. “I know so, she’s always been crazy about you, man.”

This reassures him, and he settles back into his seat with a deep breath, watching the streets blur by as he makes his way to you.

Thanks to the speed they were allowed to drive, the team makes it to the warehouse in under 15 minutes, and they position themselves at different entrances to the building. Derek kicks down the main door and Spencer runs in, gun aimed and ready to fire, but he falters. Because directly in front of him, little more than a few steps away, tied to a chair, is you. Spencer stumbles over to you and collapses to his knees in front of you, pulling you into his arms as you both sob into each other.

“Spencer, Spencer oh my god you’re here, I’ve missed you so much!” You cry, and he’s quick to untie you so that he can hold you again.

“I never stopped looking (Y/N), not even for a second!” Spencer tells you, pulling away enough for you to see his face so that you know he isnt lying, but you can tell he’s not.

“I know, I know! I never stopped believing you’d come and get me.” You reassure him, smiling for the first time in two years, and despite being muddy, bloody, bruised and beaten, Spencer is absolutely certain that you have never looked more beautiful.

An ambulance is called to the scene and you’re assisted onto a stretcher, while Rossi and Derek bring a handcuffed man out of the warehouse. Spencer sees red as he strides over to the middle aged, seedy, stubbly man that held you captive.

“Ah, Spencer Reid, I was wondering when we’d finally meet. How’s my Juliet?”

Spencer is not going to let that smug tone continue to live.

“She is not yours. I’d rather you called her Juliet than her real name, because if you breathed so much as half a syllable of that I would tear you limb from limb.” Spencer seethes.

The monster leans closer. “I ruined her.”

Spencer laughs darkly. “Do you really think that the woman Im in love with would let herself be ruined by some middle-aged, poor-excuse-for-both-a-Romeo-impersonator-and-a-killer, pervert? You underestimated her, and you underestimated me. We won.”

The kidnapper rolls his eyes, but Spencer can tell he’s taken aback. “I wont get much time for this, and once Im out, you’ll rue the day you insulted me!”

“Tell that to the pictures of little girls and boys we found under your bed upstairs! Along with letters about tax evasion, fraud accusations, the list goes on.” JJ calls as she makes her way out of the warehouse with a stack of papers in her hands.

Spencer takes a step closer to the man, towering over him and speaking in a low voice with wrath unmatched. “I dont know what your name is, and frankly, I dont care. You are going to prison for a long time, I will make sure of that. And once you’re in prison, I will find out which one, and I will personally deliver the message to every single one of your inmates that you are a pathetic pedophile low life who thought he could challenge me.”

Spencer turns away from him and starts walking towards the ambulance, but the idiot speaks up again and stops him dead in his tracks.

“She’ll be mine again, Agent Reid, and that’s a promise!”

Spencer is back in front of him in an instant. “I’ll also make sure to inform your inmates that Im the one who broke your nose.”

The scum frowns in confusion. “What?”

And just like that, Spencer’s swift right hook pummels the man’s nose.

“It’s Doctor Reid.” He tells him, voice low.

“For the record, we’ll say that happened when we arrested him.” Rossi says, and Derek nods.

Finally, Spencer runs back to you, sitting at your side in the ambulance as you lie on the stretcher. You smile at the sight of him.

“Hey love.” You greet him

“Hi sweetheart, sorry Im late, I had to break someone’s nose.” Spencer replies, his voice far softer than it had been a few seconds ago.

You chuckle and take ahold of his hand. “Of course you did.”

Spencer’s hands wrap around yours and bring it to his lips so that he can kiss each of your knuckles, so softly you barely feel it, but you do. Placing your hand against his clothed chest, you raise an eyebrow.

“Did you start wearing necklaces while I’ve been gone?”

Spencer’s eyes widen as he realises what you’re referring to. “N-No!”

Your curious expression intensifies as you reach around his neck to tug the chain out from under his shirt. “Then what’s-oh my goodness, Spencer...what’s this?”

In your hand is the engagement ring that Spencer planned to give you, and has been wearing every single day since you were taken.

“I-I was planning to ask before, but then everything got in the way and I was going to ask once I came back from that case, and then you were gone so I kept it because I didnt know what else to do with it and it felt like part of you was with me even though you’d never even seen it let alone worn it but I dont think this is the right moment to ask so maybe if we just-“

“Yes.” You cut him off.

Spencer feels all words escape him, and all he can manage in response is a stuttered, “Wh-Wha?”

You giggle. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Spence.”

Attempting to lean up on your arms to reach him, you hiss and fall back down in pain, but Spencer catches you before you hit the stretcher and lowers himself to capture your lips with his.

You passed out from exhaustion a few moments later, and Spencer sat beside you holding your hand as you slept. She wants to marry me, the words repeat themselves in his head like a mantra, and he finds himself utterly dumbfounded. How he managed to woo a heart as beautiful as yours, he doesnt know. He beamed all the way to the hospital but naturally, the moment you woke up, Spencer was sure he’d misheard you.

“Are you positive you said you would marry me?”

“Yes, Spence.”

“Do you actually want to marry me?”

“Yes, Spence.”

“Are you completely and utterly 100% sure about that?”

“Spence.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #x reader #imagine #imagines #fanfic #fanfiction #headcannon

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rzyraffek · 2 years

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Odd request, but could you mess around with slashers x gn/male partner who gets seasonal depression or it gets worse when the weather gets crummy? It's been raining for a while where I am and could go for a little comfort, haha.

Possibly Brahms or Billy Lenz? Or anyone else you really want to write.

Can do🌼 If anything here is not accurate please feel free to let me know i really dont want to offend anyone🌺

They/them partner with masculine features okay? Because it might get confusing to read when everyone has he/him pronouns i really hope that you dont mind i just know it wil get confusing

(Sfw) (Request open)

Billy Lenz👽

What you mean seasoned depresion? Doenst sound tasty? He does not belive in long words.🙄

At first he will think that his partner will just be sad for whole winter(or other season but Winter/Autumn is pretty common) which is upsetting because he loves winter. But when he finally understands what being depressed means, he will do his best to be useful

Even if they dont have Energy to leave bed/ do anything in hause, he will stay with them, at first he might talk but if they arent in mood for that he will just keep them company. Its his way of saing 'hey im here for you its gonna to be okay🌼'

He cant cook but if he sees that they were avoiding food latley or just not leaving their room for a while, he will bring them choco pudding

If his partner is cis-man and they grow a bread(and it gives them disphora) he will help them shave it. Like yeah Billy is silly chaotic goblin man but u seen him? Either he has testosterone level -5 or he knows how to shave

Also if they feel bab when weather is gloomy he will just cover the Windows? No Windows=no weather affecing them, easy😎😎😎 (thats billy saying that not me)

Overall 9/10 wont force them to talk to him and will give food

Brahms Heelshire

He knows what it is, but its still heartbreaking to see them like that

If depresion goes hard like hard to the point they cant leave the bed. You remeber how in every Brahms headcanons i mension that you have to help this guy take a Bath? Yep its reverse now. Now He takes care of them

I know that Brahms is a lil bebi boi lil shmol bebi men, but he can get mature if he wants to, he will bring them tea, headpats and warm words. He will probably avoid talking at first, but its because he feels like walking on minefild, NOT because of them being depresed, but because he knows that he sometimes gets angy at random stuff and he really desnt want to yell at them

Hes more happy to give them hugs and lay in bed with them (of couse if they want to)

He will try light up the mood with good dinner or a nice walk around the mansion.

Will spend more time with you, but if you need space he will understand

Overall 8/10 tries his best to light up the mood by being romantic gentleman. Will bring you tea -2 points for being british

Yautja (hes here only because i have funny ideas)

Wym mental health?? Season makes ur brain go not good?? I- my beloved we are on spaceship rn wym

The idea of depresion itself is pretty new for him, so they need to teach him

He will go 😨wym you sick in mind and theres no medicine? 😓aww man 😍 i guess I will stay by urside and help you with anythin u want😈

This guy will pick you up and carry you everywhere u need to be. U need to take a shower? Boom. You are hungry? Watch him speerun cook some pasta with salt and kechup (he has No clue how to food)

Will cuddle

Again if any of those make their partner uncomfortable he wpnt do it, those are just sugestions. Also I know that depresed people arent just little sad bolls without Energy to get out of bed. But he doesnt know that! He didnt know depresion exsisted till 3minutes ago!

6/10 acts like his lover is shmol sad Ball, and will baby them around

#billy lenz #billy lenz x reader #billy lenz x y/n #slasher x reader #brahms heelsire x reader #brahms headcanons #brahms the boy #brahms heelsire #brahms x reader #yautja x reader #yautja #slasher headcanons

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unicyclehippo · 2 years

Text

watched the sister melanie reading scene in season one again. i cant see bc im crying but anyway immediately following it, its suggested that ava goes to talk to lilith n im lowkey obsessed with the ways in which avatrice help each other grow. beatrice tells ava earlier in the season that there’s always more to people, to their stories, but it isnt until their melanie conversation that it feels Real to ava. only then can she talk to lilith properly, with the understanding that there’s so much to the other girl that she doesn’t know. like yeah we rightfully talk a lot about how it shows her an aspect of beatrice, and how to leads to the closeness required to get through the 20ft of rock, but its rly incredible how much beatrice being honest & direct with ava helps ava to like. have proof of the depth of humanity. its just like her conversation with mary except mary’s is more direct, more precise - actual details about mary’s history. beatrice’s is .. hinted at, smth that ava comes to the understanding of through context. and i dunno i guess when you realise, when you understand something about another person without them saying it, it becomes easier to look for those context clues. maybe it starts ava Thinking about lilith and why she wanted the halo, beyond the fact that ava wasn’t worthy. like, maybe its not about ava at all. maybe beatrice’s anger isn’t about ava at all, maybe lilith’s had less to do with her than she thought. the melanie conversation helps ava to think about other people, guides her in how to think about others. idk thats just a rambling thought but im enamoured of it now

#warrior nun

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bthump · 7 months

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I still don’t understand the logic behind everyone urging guts to go on his own path and leave griffith after they rescued him, it annoys me to no end. It makes sense from a pushing-the-plot-forward standpoint but as in-universe logic i cant make sense of it. Casca saying if you want to be griffith’s friend and equal you should leave liiikkeee..….i dont think griffith gives a fuck about that anymore hes crippled!!???? The only explanation i could come up with is not so nice….and its that they dont care about making sense they just want guts out of the picture because it benefits them personally, like casca not having to share griffith with him anymore, and judeau maybe not having to see casca and guts together all the time? Idk it sounds mean so i dont want it to be that lol, but its like why is everyone acting like griffith lost all agency and doesnt get to have a say in who he wants in his life? why is everyone deciding for him knowing full well that's not what he would want? everyone knows how dependent his well being is on guts and yet….they dont care?

Just a heads up, it's my understanding that the term "cripple" or "crippled" is often considered dated and offensive these days when not being reclaimed, so it's probably better to say Griffith is disabled.

But anyway yeah I get what you're saying and I get why it can feel contrived. I've talked to other Berserk fans who have the same issue with these scenes.

But like I actually do think it makes sense both from a characterization perspective, and thematically.

Thematically everyone has to tell Guts to leave, because that's the consequence of the decision he made. And it does make sense imo because he did a very good job convincing Judeau and Casca that it's what's best for him and what he desperately wants and needs to do for himself and his own sense of worth etc. While they do theoretically have enough knowledge to realize that Guts doesn't need to strive to be Griffith's equal after he spent a year in a torture chamber because of Guts, it makes sense to me that that's not what they're thinking. They're not reading the story and picking up on the subtext, after all, they're just trusting what someone told them about his own goals without overanalysing it. Guts said he wants to pursue a dream the way Griffith did because he feels inadequate, and it makes sense to me that they take that at face value.

So to them it makes sense to think that Guts offering to stay and take care of Griffith isn't him realizing that the whole equality thing was bullshit, but him sacrificing his future potential glory because he feels like he owes Griffith.

Then on another level you do have those darker characterization notes that also, imo, make sense and help make it believable that Casca and Judeau would tell Guts to leave. Judeau has been trying to get Guts and Casca to hook up for a while now, he's personally invested in them having a relationship, and the two of them being in a relationship is contingent on them going off together without Griffith. We can deduce from a few clues that Judeu is invested in this because he doesn't feel good enough for Casca himself and he wants her to be happy, and he thinks Guts can make her happy.

So Judeau telling Guts to leave with Casca while he takes care of Griffith himself is basically Judeau making a sacrifice for Casca's sake, as well as thinking it's probably better for both Guts and Casca, based on what he knows about them. It's not better for Griffith, but his priority has never been Griffith, it's been Casca.

And Casca telling Guts to leave also fits their love triangle, and Casca's own jealousy and residual feelings for Griffith. Even if she could potentially put two and two together and realize that Guts genuinely wants to stay with Griffith, it makes sense to me that she wouldn't want to make that leap, because the three of them together spell jealousy, and if only two of them can be together without devolving into resentment, well, Griffith just demonstrated that he needs her the way she's always wanted him to need her, and Guts has his own dream to pursue, so this way she at least gets to have something she wants. And she can tell herself that Griffith will get over Guts, that Guts isn't good for Griffith anyway considering what happened, etc.

But yeah ultimately the reason they tell him to leave is because Guts made his bed and now he has to lie in it. So it is to drive the plot towards the Eclipse at the end of the day, but idk, it works for me. Both Casca and Judeau have their own priorities that aren't Griffith and Guts living happily ever after together, and those contribute to them telling Guts to leave, and setting off the Eclipse. I find it believable and interesting for the characters.

#ask #anonymous #a #b #theme: guts leaving #character: casca #character: judeau #theme: dreams #scene: pre eclipse

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monochrome-stars · 3 months

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SPOILERS THE ENTIRETY OF IN STARS AND TIME FOR THIS RAMBLE. im covering acts 1-6 so theres your warning now but the ramble is under the cut. fair warning, may not make much sense either

ok trust me on this. this song right here makes me think of siffrin because of the isat brainrot but IT WORKS. AND IT FITS SO WELL AND LET ME TELL YOU WHY

(this is also my interpretation of it and how i understand the song and link it to the thoughts and ideas in my head. im also picking out certain lyrics because its easier to explain, so i would recommend listening to the song for the full thing)

"And I placed my palm upon your collarbone, and I wished to fall asleep deep in your marrow."

siffrin craves closeness with the rest of the party and in the memory of bad touch and the garden room, for example, its clear that they have no clue how to ask for it, and their way of getting that closeness can be odd or just plain weird. like how the song says that "they wish to fall asleep in their marrow", its a very odd way of achieving closeness with somebody, almost like trying to melt into them. (this may be far fetched but it makes sense to me stick with me here)

"There's a hunger under my skin and its gripping at my bones. There's a hunger like a lions and its ripping right through my bones."

its that feeling of hunger that is mentioned over and over again starting at the beginning of act 2 leading all the way into the end of act 5 that siffrin feels and just cant get rid of

"I'm as calm as a baby lamb that is being led. I'm as blue as blood before the blood goes red."

since finding out about the loops, siffrin just accepts the fact that they wont stay dead when theyre killed, and they use it as a way to delete their mistakes. hes incredibly calm about touching tears, about slipping on the banana peel, about using the dagger, all of it. siffrin gets so used to the depression hes falled into and just feels bad all the time. the glass shard that siffrin repeatedly keeps cutting their finger on, and later in act 5, the same glass shard they use to carve stars into their skin. and it ties with the red that continues to pop up throughout the game.

"And how it hurts even in the sun. Its a goddamn joke how we can hurt even in the sun."

everything is fine from everyone elses perspective and theyre completely oblivious to the fact that siffrin is looping through time, spending actual weeks in a hellscape of their own making. hes dying repeatedly and nobody else is aware that this is happening and theyre all blissfully ignorant

"For a heart beats the best in a bed beside the one that it loves."

isabeau refuses to confess his love for siffrin, and siffrin refuses to admit that they crave touch, and yet, both sides love the other unconditionally. (not to mention they literally sleep next to each other every night.)

"Yes, a heart beats the best when in a head, death becomes irrelevant."

after a while, siffrin has become so used to death and dying that it doesnt even matter to him anymore. killing themself is just another necessary evil they have to face in order to get to the end, have the "perfect" loop, and find answers. since they found out they could loop, it has stuck itself in siffrin's mind that "oh i can just erase all my mistakes and start over again" without so much as blinking at the fact that it means dying repeatedly.

"Cause if you're dreaming about dying, then you're not really living, darling."

siffrins entire existence starts to revolve around the dying, the loops, and escaping them. he cant even be happy with the rest of his party because of how terrified he is of messing up. theyre practically conditioning themself to loop at any mistake they make, and they harshly berate themself for it too.

after doing the friendquests a couple times as well, siffrin has those thoughts of "your friends would hate you if they knew why you were doing this" and "if you mess it up, you can just loop back and try again". siffrin stops even paying attention to the present and is so anxious about getting the "perfect loop" that he isnt even concerned about the present but rather the outcome. i think that is ultimately what went wrong with the attempted friendquests in act 5 as well.

"You've gotta be starving, you've gotta be starving for it."

again with that hunger that cant be satisfied with anything. as the game progresses, siffrins thoughts surrounding the snacks and the food always come back to how hungry he is and how its just never enough. it keeps coming back and siffrin is literally starving during the game and it gets especially bad in acts 3-5

"And if you're crying by the moon, in the sun you better lift up that chin."

siffrin was so depressed for the entire game, but then after act 5, its like the sun rises again and they can finally escape the loops and understand that the rest of the party loves them. he doesnt have to bottle it all up until it becomes too much and he can actually begin to enjoy life again after the loops end.

"You've gotta be starving, you've gotta be starving for it."

everything is over, and siffrin can finally rid themself of those feelings of hunger. the feeling is replaced with a want for love and siffrin is finally opening up and letting themself be taken care of by their friends family after all that they went through. the raw emotion in the singers voice when she sings these lyrics also feels very fitting for this

if i could animate, i would definitely make an animatic of this song and the characters to show what i mean because it makes more sense in my mind. i have so many ideas in my head in regards to this song specifically and its infesting my brain

im debating whether or not i should actually post this because its a bit confusing and strange but fuck it we ball

#suicide mention #self harm mention #holy shit this is over one thousand words #im just silly like that #im so normal i swear #in stars and time #isat #in stars and time spoilers #isat spoilers #isat siffrin #siffrin #so many spoilers #im being so serious #long post #star rambles

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love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward · 8 months

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look guys there's something weird as HELL going on with aziraphale. all three minisodes we saw gave us an insight on how his brain works and his beliefs and everything and how it leads to him making the choices he's made. right.

crowley said something weird has been going on before the attack and we know he has a sixth sense for these things but WHAT IS IT.

i think i REALLY REALLY THINK there's going to be flashbacks to season 2 scenes in s3 and we'll get context and ohhh moments. like.

1. at the mystic shop crowley puts his cap on a snake. maybe just a sneaky nod to how he was wearing a cap but maybe something more?

2. i think the way metatron says "how predictable" and when he says "are you going to take it" so deliberately. they're huge huge clues i think. i feel like the metabitch knows something i dont which pisses me off.

3. i dont understand why the job scene was shot a little different to other ones and also why crowley and aziraphale sounded so different from the scene chronologically before and after that we see in s1. except maybe the seaside bit the whole thing was. definitely odd. and its also mentioned again and again and again. biggest question i have and also one of the biggest foreshadowing in the show is the job quote from the matchbox. what is that WHY IS THAT.

will we realise parts of the job scene were fake or left out and see in s3 how the line was relevant.

4. WHAT does metatron want from aziraphale sooo badly that he went to the trouble of going through his entire earth file and carefully construct manipulation plans a through to z to convince aziraphale to come up.

unless he was unnerved that they together blocked gabriel from him and left him in the dark while actively trying not to do something powerful and he wants armageddon 2 so he can destroy earth because he's the bad guy. and he cant even feasibly start on that as long as aziraphale and crowley are together/friends/as long as, metaphorically, the bookshop is theirs.

(the bookshop wasn't 'theirs' by the time crowley left i think. they'd sort of mentally given up on that which is why at the end muriel could enter without permission i think. if the south downs thing ends up being canon then maybe the bookshop will be destroyed for real because otherwise at the end they would end up at the bookshop)

5. look one of the most terrible thing in the whole ep6 was aziraphale not paying any attention to crowley in the beginning of the confession. he's really really flustered and there's a heartwrenching theme of him staring out of the window. he's absolutely terrified of the metatron seeing them and half his mind is on him.

aaaaaghhhh losing my fucking mind. you could almost hear the quote about the straightforward love life when crowley looks at nina and maggie. that feels like a conclusion kind of? like a really happy ending just like beelzebub and gabriel had. they're both good and loved. which is why i dont feel like we'll be seeing them majorly again... maybe we will i hope we will but idk. there's.

season 2 was soft gentle romantic definitely but it was also a sherlock holmes level of mystery. except we're at the start of the story when holmes doesn't get all the facts to solve the mystery.

also random not plot related questions.

why does the sandwich woman blink so much in the seamstress scene and why does aziraphale blink so little during the last lift scene. these probably dont mean anything other than the womans mascara got in her eye or something

how does the bentley play classical music which doesnt change for aziraphale but doesn't do that for crowley? is it love i hope its love

why does aziraphale's face do something odd when he leaves crowley to talk to nina ep5? or am i reading too much into it? he was very forthcoming with the rest but with nina he was sort of quiet (?) and reserved and went away looking uncomfortable.

why did aziraphale want so badly to drive crowleys car? was it meaningful or connecting to him? i know a lot of people say the dont hesitate to ask me any questions about love scene was aziraphale giving crowley horny eyes but i thought he seemed itching and really eager to get the keys? why does he want them sooo desperately. i don't fully understand their relationship which makes me WANT TO. what happens to a person when they spend six thousand years with their only friend and companion being a hereditary enemy, watching every single thing they do?

also why was he willing to give away a book and bribe out a book for the meeting? seems overboard for someone who doesn't really seem to think about heaven checking on nina and maggie. i think tbh it had less to do with heaven's suspicions than aziraphale being the kind of person who would love an excuse to host a night of dancing and food and love (mood) and he even got to participate by dancing with the demon he loves instead of just watching! (though i suspect he really likes that as well). hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

guys the brain rot has set in someone tell me im not imagining things

#i dont expect these questions to be answered before s3 tbh #but in the words of a certain red haired demon #but just to be able to ask the question #anyway #this'll probably be ignored by other people but its nice to keep all my thoughts about the show in one place instead of just my head #gonna add on later if i feel like it #good omens #crowley #aziraphale

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yukipri · 1 year

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hi i hate to be a bother but i love your fic but i cant get more than a dozen or so chapters in bc i keep getting horrible anxiety about how the "present" time is ready to explode and i cant read longfic if it ends badly, could you say if the "present" time has a good resolution? no pressure at all, if you dont want to do that ill just wait for the return to the "present" and get the spoilers from my friends reading it

Thanks for liking my fic! Even if you're only able to get through part of it ^ ^;

So, hmm. I'm going to do my best to answer your question. I hope you understand that I don't feel comfortable (or frankly, capable) of telling you how the fic ends, as we are very very far away from that still (plus, I'm writing the fic for a reason!).

I can say that I personally do not consider the present "ready to explode" in any way. It is, in my opinion, the calmest time that the clones have ever experienced in the short, 13 years of their existence. Sure there's a lot going on, but for the very first time, they are in control of their own fate, and mostly have the upper hand. Is Sidious still out there? Yes. But Sidious is just as confused as, well, Obi-Wan right now, and he is actively on the run, which is more than can be said of any point we've seen of him in canon. Are there other threats too? Of course, but again, for once the clones are able to choose how to act without hiding. If anything, it's post-explosion, the explosion being the Override.

Why do the clones feel so in control? Well, that has to do a lot with the actual mechanics and process of the Override, which we are piecing together in the past.

It's true that Obi-Wan is a bit alarmed and very confused because he doesn't know what's going on. But he'll be alright, because the clones are, again, very calm and in control, and he'll take his cues from them. One of his purposes in the present is to be the audience lens through which new developments are revealed, but most of these things are not new or alarming to the clones, and they are the ones this all primarily affects. Will the clones tell Obi-Wan everything immediately? Of course not. But again, one of the purposes of writing this story non-chronologically and going into the past is so that you, the reader, can understand what's going on, and when the clones choose to share something with Obi-Wan, know the full context of that. Either way, Obi-Wan is a side character and not the primary focus in this story!

While there will be developments and action in the present eventually, right now it's far more a time of reflection, at least for the clones. There is going to be a lot of coming to terms with the past, personal reflection on identity, culture, freedom, the Republic, and the future of their new home. There is going to be more exploration of their life, and lots of politics and what it means to run a people that is no longer under subjugation. There is going to be following up on stuff from the war. There is going to be a significant amount of angst. However, nothing will "explode" for a very, very long time—we don't yet have enough context for that.

In comparison, I consider much of the "past" to be lighter, because sure it covers the war which is dark, but it's also familiar to us via canon media, except there's now the undercurrent of knowledge of all these networks and safety measures that exist, as well as new tools that Jango is actively working on. So it's bad, but we know it's not as bad. There's also just a lot more humor, since everybody (especially Jango) is still figuring things out! In the present, we kinda see the polished version after they become pros ^ ^;

We should be returning to the present in a few chapters (no clue how long those chapters will take), but a fair warning that it will be written with the assumption that you have read all previous chapters. Skipping all of the past will probably mean that a lot of it won't make sense, and I'm sorry, but I won't apologize for that, nor will I explain it when it's explained in the fic! The past bits do exist for a reason! And not just the events, but the thought processes that the characters had in the past will affect their present.

Likewise, we won't just stay in the present once we're back; after a while, we'll return to the past again, and probably eventually jump back to the present, etc. That's just how this story works.

Again, I'd rather not comment too much on the actual ending but, I do not consider this story a tragedy. It's not as simple as a fix-it either, and there's plenty of angst along the way, but I don't think you need to worry about it being a horrible conclusion.

I hope this answers your question! And I hope I didn't spoil myself too badly. Everything above that is not yet written is subject to change, because I do not want to limit my writing to what I said in an ask response, but I think this is a decent idea of what to expect.

I'm not here to tell you how (or even if!) to read my story, but yeah, the past is essential, because the present would not exist without it.

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

#ThePrimeOverride #YukiPri replies #apocalypso-36 #there are so many complicated developments and concepts in this story #so many things that may make you go 'wtf what is that'#and that is also what the past is partially there for #this fic is a How story more than a What story #and the past will show you How #the present makes no sense and is not emotionally or structurally satisfying without the past #at least to me and i'm the one who's writing it lol #long response oops

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afuckingsystemsthoughts · 3 months

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we've seen a lot of people with DID and OSDD hate being a system. most of us dont hate it per se, its more of the bad parts we hate. i, host, suffer much more mental pain from other disorders we have, not just DID- thats probably the smallest part. for us, our biggest cause of mental pain is bpd and denial of trauma/our posttraumatic disorders- so what were about to say will probably sound biased.

also a note, i only suffer the really dramatic drastic disorienting dissociation everyone with DID online complains about (and claims they have 24/7) only half the time or less. most of the dissociation i experience as host is dissociative amnesia, theres not a day i dont experience that but its usually of the past ill never remember or milder forms like "oh i did that? hm dont remember" "oh they said that? i only remember the interesting parts of the conversation and i cant even remember it verbatim", or emotional/mental detachment and emotional numbing (especially if my mood is too unstable), and staring off forgetting what to do or not knowing how to do it and having to mentally yell at myself

now, for the parts of having DID id absolutely get rid of right now and never want back.

i hate when im trying to do something, i wanna do it alone, i wanna have privacy, wtv. and boom, an alter suddenly appears out of nowhere invading the front. i dont wanna be rude to them because theyre a part of me and more than likely a trauma holder or protector i wouldnt be here without, but i want to have some privacy in my own head. have some things just to me. i am annoyed, i know they feel that. and for that, i feel guilt. for being annoyed by the presence of someone else inside my head, and the guilt gets even worse if its a little, understandably, or a trauma holder whos been through enough rejection already, or a protector who i wouldnt be alive without. i have to show common courtesy to a large group of selves inside my own brain, every second im awake. and that gets tiring. no wonder im always so mentally drained.

having to work around what alters want. this often goes hand in hand with them randomly intruding the front. ill be in the clothing aisle, just to get a simple grey shirt- and an alter will come out when they see a shirt they like. if i refuse to get it, they might feel hurt, and ill feel guilty. and if i look through a whole clothing aisle, more than one part will come out and make me feel drawn to the different clothing they like (sometimes a few alters making me feel drawn to a few different clothing styles at once) i get a headache from that and dont like how i feel pulled into many different directions by my own brain. (id experience that before i even knew what plurality was or really knew my alters or even remotely felt plural and it caused me a lot of mental pain and headaches)

feeling like a stranger to myself now because i realize how much i was a stranger to myself, i didnt even know i was abused, and i didnt even know a lot of things i did. and feeling guilt for not knowing i was a stranger to myself for most of my life. i should have known but i didnt. i was too dumb to pick up on the clues that someone inside me ran away with my body and my life. theres even small things i didnt know about myself i discovered years later. example, i didnt know i asked for a get-well card for a doll when i pretended it was sick until i discovered it about 8-10 years later. and theres big things i never knew. some of these things were people. when i was little, i was around people i should remember, i was around them enough. but when i see them again in 2019, i think its the first time even stepping foot in the place, and seeing the people. i only knew that i knew them when i was little because i was told that in 2019. i also dont remember an entire year, minus a small snapshot memory. i cant be sure if the memories i think i have of it are real. which leads me to the other part about DID i hate and if i could get rid of only one part of it, this would be it.

the dissociative amnesia (mostly of trauma) and its effects. i dont remember majority of my early childhood, and i only remember about half of my mid childhood, maybe a tad more than half. the memories i have, its like im watching an eerie, dark tinted movie of myself. i dont remember being abused in any of the memories before around 8, and very few are of me being unhappy. i think to myself, "if i was abused, id have memories of it or be unhappy." i didnt feel anything. i just... existed. no feelings, maybe an artificial happiness, but no feelings outside of that. its like i was a robot in control of my own actions. i tell myself i dont have trauma and im just holding onto the "impossible possibility" i was abused as a small child as an excuse for being this way "because i cant accept i was born broken, i dont have an excuse to be this way." then, someone comes along who explains to me what i did in the memories when i was little and throughout my entire childhood was a sign of abuse, and i feel valid and confident about myself because im reassured im not born broken scum, but then i realize that means someone violated my body and ill never know who did first, how old i was, where it first happened. and ill never know what all my body has been used for either. then ill feel disgusted with my body and want to escape it or self harm. and i live with a person who flip flops between being emotionally abusive/manipulative and being nice and shes used my dissociative amnesia against me before, used it to say things didnt happen and the memories were planted, and to say i did things i didnt do. other people used my dissociative amnesia against me before too. but the most painful part for me, is im stuck in a vicious, mentally draining cycle- feeling like my trauma isnt real and hating myself because i feel like i was born broken, just wanting to know i was abused, then i find out and i feel uncomfortable in my body, i cry, i feel alone because the only people id allow myself to seek comfort from arent around, and sometimes self harm.

for me, im fine with being a system. i wouldnt trade most of my alters or the memories weve made together since i found out i had a system and met them. they taught me what family really is. they taught me what community means. its the parts that make it disordered id gladly get rid of. sure, we want our own bodies, id like them to have their own bodies too, but im fine with them just being in my head when theyre not intrusive.

DID isnt fun, but it isnt always living hell 24/7. not for every DID system. not for us. but its still not "friends in your head" and even when you are friends with some of your alters they can still intrude on you when you want to be alone and you'll still have the distress from having DID. its not always fun but its not always hell.

#dissociative identity disorder #actually dissociative #tired of the “oh you have to be in constant agony from DID to have DID” posts its so invalidating tbh #like im sorry having DID is so bad for you but theres people with DID who dont have it as bad and theyre just as valid #people always spread negativity about DID when people with it wanna distract from their suffering and the “oh poor me” posts dont help much #it forces DID systems who dont suffer because of it 24/7 to think theyre faking and that makes them exaggerate symptoms #man the online DID community is toxic

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bridgyrose · 3 months

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Sugar Rush Angst

(I still need to actually name this one)

Nora slammed a mug down onto her table, ready to give up trying to find Ruby. No matter how many missions she went on, no matter how many rumors she followed, Ruby was nowhere to be found. It was almost like she’d just… disappeared completely. Every rumor about a girl wearing a red cloak led to dead ends of a few huntresses in training that wanted to be like Ruby. Every failure drained her.

“Maybe its time we take a break,” Ren suggested as he finished his meal, checking his scroll. “I know you want to find her-”

“I’m not giving up on her,” Nora said, annoyed. “She’s still out there and I need to find her!”

Pyrrha put a gentle hand on Nora’s shoulder, giving a quick squeeze. “We’re not asking you to give up, but we’ve run ourselves ragged. We need a break.”

Ren nodded as he checked a message from Weiss. “None of the divisions of the SDC have seen Ruby or anyone that looks like her and Blake lost the trail she was following. We might be getting to a point where finding Ruby may mean finding out she’s gone.”

Nora sighed and dropped onto the table, letting out a few deep breaths to hold back a few tears. “She… she cant be dead. Not yet.”

“Lets give ourselves a couple weeks to rest and then continue our search,” Pyrrha suggested. “Ruby’s a survivor. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“Fine.” Nora slowly picked herself up and left some money on the table to pay for her food. “I’m… I’m going to take a walk.”

Pyrrha nodded. “Dont be out too long, alright?”

Nora sighed and walked out of the inn that she ate at, feeling the brisk Mistral air run across her skin. The sun had started setting and the streets were starting to empty, but that didnt bother her much as she walked alone with her thoughts. No, what bothered her was that there was a chance that she’d never see Ruby again, never be able to hold her or tell her one last time that she loved her. That the love she felt would be lost.

As the sun finally set, she let out a heavy sigh as she started to make her way back to the inn to meet up with her team so they could set out to Vale in the morning. It felt wrong to give up, but, in the end, she knew Pyrrha and Ren were right and they could continue the search after a rest. And pushing mission after mission in hopes of finding some sort of clue didnt seem to be helping.

Nora paused for a moment as she watched a few rose petals flow through the wind. She caught one and watched it disappear in hand, quickly looking in the direction the petal came from. A smile crossed her lips as she saw a figure dash from rooftop to rooftop, only one person she knew was able to do that. Without a moment to lose, she quickly pulled her scroll out to text Ren and Pyrrha about what she saw and rushed off towards the figure without waiting for a response. She used her hammer to help get a bit of height to reach a rooftop and started to follow, her heart racing as she found a trail of rose petals to follow. Nora finally stopped when she got close enough to stay out of the way, freezing up when she did finally see Ruby along with another person.

An arrow flew past her and embedded itself next to her, then she watched as Ruby rushed towards her. She quickly readied her hammer to block the swing of a scythe, arms shaking as she stared Ruby in the eyes.

“N-Nora?!” Ruby asked as she pulled away. “What… what are you doing here?”

“I’ve been looking for you. Now we can go home-”

“You need to leave.”

Nora pulled back and lowered her weapon and watched Ruby as she looked back towards the figure she was with. “I-I dont understand. You’re supposed to come with me.”

“I… cant.” Ruby took a breath and tightened her grip on her scythe. “And now that you’ve seen me, you’re a loose end.”

Nora quickly moved out of the way as Ruby slashed at her with her scythe, holding her own hammer tightly. “What’s going on?” she asked as she noticed the mechanical arm on Ruby, her heart nearly stopping. “And what happened to you?”

“I was fixed!” Ruby said as she sliced at Nora again.

Nora took another few steps back as she avoided Ruby’s scythe, starting to get nervous as it came closer and closer to her. She stopped at the edge of the rooftop, her foot slipping off the edge as she felt the metal blade of Ruby’s scythe press against her chest. “R-Ruby, please, dont do this.”

“I… I dont have a choice.”

Nora froze as she heard an explosion and watched some smoke start to rise in the distance. An arrow pierced into her shoulder as her aura broke, still not quite recovered from earlier. Her hand shook as she reached for the arrow, feeling blood drip down her arm. “You dont have to do this. We can go back to Ozpin-”

“I’m sorry, Nora.”

Nora lost her balance as she felt the end of Ruby’s scythe slam into her, falling off the rooftop and onto a few crates on the ground below. She grunted as she tried to pick herself up, dropping to her back as she closed her eyes. Her eyes fluttered open again as she grunted, seeing the ceiling of the inn she had been staying at, body sore as she tried to sit up.

“Not so fast,” Pyrrha said as she helped her up. “The doctor who patched you up said you’ll have to rest for a few days to let your injuries heal.”

“I-I… I found her…” Nora struggled to get out, her chest hurting with each breath. “I found Ruby.”

“And… you’re sure you found her?”

Nora nodded as she propped herself up, holding her shoulder. “I’m… I'm sure. But… she was… with someone else.”

Ren sighed and got up. “Sounds like she might be involved with the attack on Haven. I’ll go talk to Lionheart and see if I can get anything more.”

“But Ruby wouldnt-” Nora sighed and looked down at the bandages that wrapped around her torso. Ruby wasnt the one who shot her, but was the one who pushed her off that building, even if it was only a couple stories tall. “But… she was seen there, wasnt she?”

Pyrrha sighed and gave a small nod. “Not her but… there were rose petals there along with some cuts from a scythe. We have to tell Ozpin.”

Nora nodded and sighed as she watched Ren and Pyrrha leave. She laid back down, wincing as she did. “Ruby, what did you do?”

#rwby #nora valkyrie #lie ren #pyrrha nikos #ruby rose #rwby ruby rose #drabbles #sugar rush #sugar rush angst

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