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bogleech · 9 months

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TOP TEN DINOSAURUSES

maybe you're wondering my most tenned favorite dinosauruses??? The science study of dinasacacers is called "dinosaurusology" by leading experts like myself, and it is constantly changing as we make new uncoveries almost every tuesday when we find new bones in my cousin rob's garage (he hasn't thrown anything out since the 90's!) As such bear in mind that up to two facts I am about to share could become dated over the course of the next century, however as both the king and queen of science this will only be true if I'm still available to approve the new facts. If I'm dead or kind of tired then nobody will ever know what's true anymore so you should be nice to me. #10: OVIRAPTOR

OVIRAPTOR was a good model for what all dinosacans were like: it was a wrinkly lizard that slithered in filthy dirt and had difficulty standing upright because its bones were made of rocks. This is why we have the term "the stone age," so be grateful you're living in "the bone age!" Oviraptor's name means "eggs velociraptor" because it was a kind of velociraptor that stole eggs. It didn't know what to do with them because nobody invented cooking yet and raw dinosaur eggs were disgusting, so every oviraptor starved to death.

#9: IGUANADON

This was the last known photograph of IGUANA DON (not to be confused with his cousin iguana dan) when george washington invented photographs 2 million years ago. Don was an ugly disgusting hilarious lizard monster with one horn on its nose and he died because he evolved a dining room in his torso exactly the right size for 21 cavemen to walk in and eat his kidneys. This was not helped by don's instinct to sleep on a big porch under a chandelier.

#9 DIMETRODON

DIMETRODON was the most common dinosaur of jurassic, which was the fifth and final era of dinosaurs after the ice age but before the ediacaran. In fact dimetrodon was the very last dinosaur to ever exist on earth before they were all eaten to death by the ediacaran's dominant predator: a species of swirly looking weird rock. Nobody knows why these swirly looking weird rocks died out, but it's most likely because dimetrodon was so poisonous from its diet of entirely pufferfish. You can tell it was a sea dinosaur because of its fish fin! #8: PTERADACTYL

PTERODACTYL was a regular dinosaur until it got married to a species of bat and its bat wife laid a bunch of pterodactyl eggs! This woodcut is however inaccurate: flying would not be invented until president obama discovered the first airplane in 1998, so pterodactyl couldn't possibly have stayed in the air and just immediately fell. The long 900 million year reign of the pterodactyl abruptly ended when the last one finally hit the ground (it took longer in those days because the oxygen disaster made so much more air) #7 SNORKASAURUS

SNORKASAURUS was completely unique among all dinocaurs by having a really long neck. It was one of the largest creatures to ever roam the earth at over 7 feet tall, or exactly 12 meters to those of you living in Liberia or Myanmar! This is the last known photograph of snorkasaurus, giving birth to the first cavemen. Snorkasaurus went extinct because all of them did this instead of making baby snorkasauruses. This is because like all dinosaurii they had only a tiny peanut for a brain, and nobody was around to give them 'the talk' because that wasn't invented yet.

#6 SMILODON

SMILODON was a very special dinosaurn because it was the first one to stand up on its hind legs after years of rigorous exercise and weight training. By inventing this new way of walking, Smilodon made it possible for the first monkeys to evolve! This is called "convergent" evolution.

#5 BULBASAUR

BULBASAUR was a majestic and beautiful species of neopet unfortunately disliked by the scientific community because it is the reason there are no flying dinosuars. Bulbasaur was the first ever flying dyanasar ever invented, 19 billion years ago on September 10, 2001, but the project was discontinued when its first test flight ended in a tragic accident. That's right: on September 11, 2001, Bulbasaur crashed into the stock market, causing the great depression that lead to the civil war :'( now to this very day, flying dinosarers are against the law.

#4 YOSHI

YOSHI is a type of dinersaulophus called a "bird," which was actually the second attempt by early neanderthal alchemists to manufacture a street legal flying dinnersauran, but the New Zealand government realized if dinophlofbuses can fly, then bats would no longer be special, and since bats are New Zealand's only major export it would have been an economic disaster. The queen of Australia (New Zealand's largest city) ordered the CIA to sand all of the wings off of these early prototype birds. Every bird tragically went extinct when it looked down, noticed how high up it was and remembered it could not fly, activating the effects of Earth's gravitational field.

#3 ANOMALOCARIS

ANOMALOCARIS was the dinosorcerous that discovered the first primitive cave painting of a modern day crab and invented carcinisation. All the other dinanders laughed at Anomalocaris for wanting to turn into a crab, but guess what??? Every single kind of dinosaur is dead but there's a crab still alive at 29, making it the oldest person in the world. Who's FUCKING laughing now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#2 EARL SINCLAIR

This is the last known photograph of Earl Sinclair, seen here as an uncredited extra in "Avatar 3: Lost in New York." Earl Sinclair was a sindonaur species that could disguise itself as a human by putting on sunglasses, a necessary adaptation in order to hide from the largest predator dancasore to ever live: Mellisuga helenae. However, near the end of the coal age, M. Helenae finally remembered that sunglasses hadn't even been invented yet. Look carefully, and you'll notice nobody is wearing sunglasses at all in this scene, making Earl Sinclair stick out like a sore thumb! If you're still having difficulty, here's a zoomed in image of this majestic thunder lizard:

Unfortunately......this wardrobe malfunction made Mr. Sinclair just as obvious to his ancient enemy, and the last Earl Sinclair's brains were sucked out on September 11, 2001, the darkest day in British history because he was the only one who knew the recipe to chicken mcnuggets (the only british food.) To this day all british people are extinct but you can still see their fossilized skeletons waiting in line at the department of motor vehicles.

#1 CONCAVENATOR

Concavenator was an Early Cretaceous carcharodontosaurid up to six meters in length with an unusual pointed crest on its back.

#science #dinosaurs #paleobiology #paleoart #nature #animals #lizards #reptiles #birds #ADAD don't get mad at me I actually hope if you ever see this you just find it cute and enjoy the convoluted references I put in

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foone · 1 year

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BTW as a trekkie the funniest thing you can do is find someone who isn't and try to explain Spock's Brain to them.

"so trek got canceled after two seasons, but fans launched a massive letter-writing campaign and got it renewed. First time that'd happened in the history of TV, I believe. They came back with an episode called Spock's Brain."

"interesting. So what's the plot?"

"aliens steal Spock's Brain"

"what. And what else?"

"no that's pretty much it. His brain gets stoled. They have to go find it."

"huh. Why do the aliens steal it?"

"they need a computer to run their society."

"and they decide to use Spock's Brain?"

"yep! So the Enterprise crew rigs up a remote control device for Spock's body so they can drive it around like a toy car, and go looking for his brain."

"wait. They don't leave it behind in, like, medical stasis?"

"nah they're worried they won't be able to get the brain back to his body in time. So they bring it along. As a remote controlled body. They've got a little remote with like 5 buttons. Walk forward, turn left, turn right, Kung-fu attack, and so on"

"attack?"

"yeah they have to fight off the aliens at one point. With Spock's body."

"huh."

"the best part? The ultimate moral of the episode seems to be against gender segregation"

"WHAT"

"yeah see the aliens who stole Spock's Brain are a bunch of cavemen living on the nuclear-winter surface and a bunch of women living below ground, with PAIN RAYS. the women steal Spock's Brain to run their society, because they're not smart enough to run their machines."

"that seems... Sexist?"

"yeah a bit. So at the end when they get Spock's Brain back, they solve the society's problems by convincing them to reintegrate the sexes and work together on solving their problems. Also Kirk says something like 'in time you'll learn that women can provide not only pain, but pleasure!' to the cave men"

"... Do the women have pleasure rays too?"

"no. He's not talking about that. Anyway this is all skipping over the fact that when they meet up with the alien woman they saw steal Spock's Brain, she doesn't know how to put it back in. Or take it out. She doesn't know what a brain is."

"what"

"yeah she was sent on this mission by the old computer that was failing, and it used a Teacher Machine to temporarily give her SUPER SURGERY skills to get the brain out."

"so she went from not knowing what a brain is to being able to do neurosurgery?"

"yeah. And here's the thing: McCoy can't put the brain back in either. It's too compilated for him."

"so they went searching for Spock's Brain, knowing that they had no way to put it back in?!"

"exactly! So McCoy gets taught how to do Super Brain Surgery by the Teacher Machine, and he starts putting Spock's Brain back in his body, but the skills wear off before he can finish"

"they wear off?"

"yeah you only get them for a few hours. So he has the brilliant idea of hooking up Spock's vocal cords so that Spock can walk him through hooking up the rest of his brain."

"there are so many reasons why that doesn't make sense"

"YEP! THAT'S SPOCK'S BRAIN!"

"so this was a guest writer who never worked before or again, right?"

"no, it was Gene Coon. He wrote like 15 episodes, most of them pretty good, and went on to do some other scifi films. He's the guy who created Khan."

"why do you like Star Trek again?"

#Star Trek

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norrisleclercf1 · 1 year

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Little Backstabber

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Wolff!Reader

Warning: Angst, angst just pure angst, some fluff, Max is a Toto apologist, the reader is just hurting, Max has no respect for that

Requested: Yes/No

Rating: PG-13

Words: 2.3K

A/N: Hahahahaha I’m sorry (not really)

Part 1: Little Traitor

Pt.3 Little Heartbreaker

Breaking News: Max Verstappen and Y/N Wolff Announce Their Engagement

Toto stares out the window as Susie reads the newspaper out loud during breakfast. Laying the newspaper down, she gazes at her husband as he doesn't say a word, not even turning to acknowledge what she has read.

"Toto, maybe tell her how happy you are for her?" Susie mumbles over her coffee cup, which has his eyes cut to her.

"I called my daughter a slut; she doesn't want to hear from me. But, can you?" He asks, laying his glasses down as he rubs his eyes.

"No, I will not." Susie snips, sitting her cup down harshly.

He just nods, not preaching the topic anymore since it's been a strain between them.

"Y/n? Angel? Where are you?" Max yells, seeing your boxes piled up in his place, but it doesn't make him angry; pride and other cavemen's feelings cover his mind as he stops seeing you in the kitchen.

You danced in the kitchen wearing a Redbull shirt and dark blue panties, clearly, nothing else. Hair is thrown up, and you are just enjoying yourself.

"God, I love you." He whispers, still not letting you know he is home. Home. It was weird for you to call this place home, but it felt right.

You spin around but stop halfway to seeing the figure and scream.

Max laughs, which calms you down immediately, knowing it is your fiance and not some stranger. You hold your chest, trying to calm down as he just reduces to giggles walking up to you, pulling your hands gently. You let him pull your body into his, both bodies molding perfectly in the hug as he whispers comforting words.

"You scared me." You laugh, rubbing his back as his chest shakes yours with his laugh again.

"Oh het spijt me, zat gewoon naar mijn bloedmooie verloofde te staren." (Oh I'm sorry, was just staring at my gorgeous fiancee) He laughs making you slap his chest.

You've started to perfect your Dutch after Max proposed to you; you had always spoken Dutch, but not comfortably, and now you could converse with him.

"The press released our engagement announcement today. It's in the newspapers." He mumbles, leaning back slightly to kiss your forehead.

"Yes, I know. Susie sent her congratulations." Your tone sour.

After everything with your father, you refused to go anywhere near Mercedes, even keeping away from Lewis and Geroge, who sided with your father. Your stepmother tried her best, but you didn't want to talk to them, much less think about them. Max makes a noise but doesn't say anything. There have been multiple arguments about your family and what to do regarding the wedding. You didn't want them there, no invitations or anything. Why should people who constantly let you down throughout your life be welcomed to the day of embracing your new one?

"Don't, Max." You noted the noise and pulled away from him, returning to the counter and fixing lunch for the both of you.

"I just......he's your father. He should be there when we're married." He groans, pulling his hair slightly with annoyance.

"No." Is all you say, making Max drop the conversation and look over your shoulder at what you're preparing. He smiles, seeing the potatoes, onion, carrot, and cabbage beside the smoked sausages.

"You're making Stamppot?" He asks, dropping his head to kiss your shoulder, able to see the tension fade away.

"Yes, it's slightly chilly out, and I figured it'd be good and healthy since you can't eat certain foods." You mumble, trying to get around your irritation with Max.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, touching your wrist and stopping you from chopping the cabbage.

"Just, why can't you understand? You were able to work out your issues with your father, but mine? I can't. So stop." You pull your wrist away from his fingers and continue chopping the cabbage.

Max nods his head and walks away, heading to his Sim. Hearing his footsteps enter the den, you drop your head and stare at the gorgeous ring on your finger. It's a stunning natural blue sapphire with a daisy oval shape, little diamonds aline it, with a gold band holding it all together. Max had the ring specially crafted for you; he had the idea of the ring for a while now. He knew you weren't big on diamonds, so he set on a sapphire. Cliche, but he picked one closest to the RB color, a final stamp to show people that you were his and you weren't going anywhere.

You loved the ring, Max, and your little life together. It terrified you that if your father came back into your life, to your wedding. He'd ruin it all. Shaking off the evil thoughts, you get back to cooking the lunch. Time passes with you cooking and listening to Max curse the Sim, potting the Stamppot. You gently carry Max's bowel to him and sit it on the desk.

Max pauses it immediately and turns around in his chair, looking up at you; from the look on his face, he clearly has something to say.

"If it's about my father, keep it to yourself." You warn, Max automatically turning back around to the Sim and hitting play.

"I think you'll regret it." Max mumbles, but you ignore the comment and head to the bedroom sitting on the bed.

You reach under the bed, pull out this little black box, and open it, your father and your smiling face greeting you. You kept all your childhood pictures of your father or postcards from when he was traveling around the world. Each one had his familiar writing on the back, each word etched into your brain. Each praise, love, how much he loved you, missed you, couldn't wait to see you. Where did it all go wrong? Why did he leave you? Why weren't you worthy or made him proud enough? Why?

Swallowing the tears, you put the lid back on and slide it back under the bed. Max stands at the cracked door, watching you hide the box, the one you thought he knew nothing of. He knew your father should be at the wedding, he knew that's what you wanted, but you couldn't see past your anger and hurt. Max understood, but he knew the best for the both of you would be inviting Toto to the wedding.

Stepping away from the door, he grabs his phone and pulls up Toto's number. Don't ask why he has it. He just does.

You're invited to the wedding, don't fuck up this opportunity; see you on July 1st at 7 pm at Hotel de Paris.

Max hits sent and watches as the text is read automatically. The 3 bubbles pop up and then go away. This continues for about 15 minutes until the text returns, making Max scuff slightly, but glad to see Toto answered.

Thank you for the invite, we'll be there.

Clearly, Suise was helping the man answer the text, but in the end, Toto gave his curt answer, and that was that. Max wasn't going to tell you what he had done, but he knew that you'd come around in time for the wedding and invite Toto and Suise, but it was his secret for now. Of course, telling Toto you had no idea he was invited doesn't occur to him, but he'll worry about that later.

"Baby?" Max yells down the hall, and you emerge quickly, worried something is wrong.

"What?" You ask, looking around the apartment, ready for an issue, but all he sees is Max sitting on the couch.

"I apologize. I know the relationship with your father isn't like mine, and I should leave it be, and I will. No more talk about it. I'll let you go at your own pace. But just know, if we have kids, he needs a chance, and that's all I'm saying on the topic." Max sighs, catching his breath from his little rant.

"I love you." You whisper, walking over and kissing him. Max smiles and pulls you down, having you lay on top of him.

At this moment, everything was perfect, until 4 weeks later.

You're walking home when you see a present sitting at your door, you weren't expecting a package so you look at the address and see it was from Susie. Sighing, you lean down and pick it up. Shocked by the weight, you stumble into the place and set it on the coffee table. Opening the box, you pull out the brown paper and freeze, seeing what is in the box.

There was a transparent glass collage of you and Max lined with your favorite flowers, and on the bottom were gold words engraved.

If I were the moon, I would want you to be my night

You stare at the words, knowing those words deeply. Your father always wrote quotes on the back of your postcards. This was the last quote he wrote you before it all fell apart. You pick up one of the smaller boxes with shaky hands and open it. You can't help the tears that start to fall.

It was this small tiara, but not any tiara. It was a baroque crystal pearl tiara with very two rows of diamonds; on the top, pearls sat on top. It was gorgeous, but you felt your inner child's heartbreak. He remembered. When you were younger, you and your father walked past this old antique boutique in the front window and sat this same tiara; it was crazy expensive. You didn't even tell Toto that you wanted the tiara; you just stared at it and then kept walking down the street. But he did remember, after dropping you off at your mother's, he circled back and bought it. He kept it for the day you'd get married and thought he would hand it to you in person, telling you how much he loved you and was proud of the woman you've become, but instead.....he had to send it to you through a box.

Sitting down, you grab the last box, opening it as a watch for Max. On the back was the first date you two ever had. But, the inscription was in Toto's handwriting. How he knew it that date was beyond your knowledge. Something catches your eye, making you sit the watch down to pick it up. It was a card.

Opening the card, you scan the words, but one sentence catches your attention.

Thank you for the invitation, we can't wait to see you and Y/n tie the knot. Much love from Susie and Toto

You stare at the words before they dawn on you. Max. He invited them. After you told him you didn't want them there, he still asked them and did it without notifying you. Time passed by you, and nothing made you move until you heard Max's keys in the door.

"Hey love, I'm home!" Max called, having a great day. He couldn't wait to see you.

Walking into the living room, he smiles brightly seeing you but stops seeing the emotionless look on your face. He looks at the box and then back to you before you slam the card down, finally looking at him.

"You bastard." You whisper, shaking your head. You feel this hot rage boiling inside you, but your throat gets tighter and tighter with each passing of time.

"He's your father." He whispers, knowing what the box means. Toto must've sent a gift or something and probably told you on a card that he was invited.

"He LEFT ME!" You scream, moving away from the box to stand before Max.

"You both left each other! Why can't you see that he's been trying!" Max snaps, tired of this back-and-forth argument.

"I was 14. What do you want from me, Max? He was the adult; he should've tried. It's not my job!" You yell, not wanting to talk about this anymore.

"When he reached out to you, we were 16, we had just had our first date, and he called you. You didn't answer the phone and said you'd call him back. But you never did. That showed him you didn't care anymore. Why would he try with someone who didn't even try either." Max argues. This shocks you. How could someone who not even 6 months ago defend you against your father was now being his most prominent advocate.

"Be..because I was a kid." You retort, lost for words.

"See, you can't tell me why you're still angry at him. We're adults, Y/n, let the past be the past." Max sighs, running his fingers through his hair before reaching for you.

You pull away from his reach; hurt and rejection shatter Max's face as he slowly drops his arms. You take a few deep breaths, fiddling with the ring. Max watches, panic overtaking any sense he has.

"Don't, don't do this." He whispers, staring at the ring on your finger.

"How can I marry someone who doesn't respect my wishes, someone who defends the man who called me a slut. The person who made me feel less of myself my entire life, and here the person who is supposed to protect, stand by me, and love me, defends them. How can I marry you after this?" You ask, pulling the ring off.

"No, please, Y/n, don't." Max breaks. He can't keep it together anymore as he watches you sit the ring before him. Tears slide down his face as he watches you grab your shoes and keys.

"Don't leave me, don't please. Not again." He whispers, grabbing you as you try to hide your own tears.

"You betrayed me." You whisper, pulling yourself out of his hold and walking out the door. As you close the door, all you hear is a scream and glass shattering as you walk away from the love of your life.

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wannaeatramyeon · 7 months

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The Crew Heads with Reader: Television

G/N. (Jake Kim, Eli Jang, Johan Seong, Samuel Seo).

Bro Code | Dinner | Shopping | Television

Samuel replaces your old crackly television-

A relic from the 90s where you can almost count the pixels and a logo is permanently burned into the screen-

with a 4k monstrosity.

Jake's choice of words but monstrosity is a bit harsh, Eli thinks. Knowing Samuel-

(and Eli does now know him too well to bear thinking about. Seriously, how on earth has that happened?! but that's a train of thought for another time.)

It'll be the best. Top of the line and no expenses spared.

Except.

"It's too big," Eli comments as Jake starts to rip open the cardboard and packaging.

"Yep," Jake grins. Focused on the task at hand though never giving up an opportunity to rib Samuel, "70 inches for Y/N's tiny apartment. Can tell you dropped out of middle school."

"Shut up," is all Samuel manages to muster and the other two snort in response.

Samuel scoffs. Refuses to admit that yes, it is far too big. That only now he has realised it'll take up at least half the dividing wall between the living room and your bedroom, and there is nowhere near enough space to get a good viewing distance.

Which, by the way, has nothing to do with being a dropout.

Refusing to sink to their level and asinine comments, he continues to supervise. Watching Eli now joining to rip away the plastic and styrofoam and cardboard. Doesn't lift a finger to help. Why should he? He's already opened his wallet.

"Hey, brat," Jake shouts. Even with his and Eli's immense strength, they struggle to manoeuvre the awkwardly oversized, unwieldy object to position on the wall. "Come help out if you wanna join in in anymore movie nights."

Everyone knows 'brat' is Johan, who is currently lounging on the sofa. The insult having been tossed out casually one time by you, then adopted by everyone else because, hey - it's apt.

Johan rolls his eyes. Unglues himself from the sofa and acts as if this is an absolute waste of his time. That he has been thoroughly put out by needing to help these idiots.

But the additional pair of hands make quick work of hanging up the TV. Eli and Johan holding opposite sides as Jake tightens the screws.

Once done, all three stand back to admire their handiwork and the new screen. The sleek lines and shiny edging.

Oohs and aahs as Samuel flicks through the channels and sets it up.

United for once in front of the new technology, like cavemen when fire was first discovered.

You step back to take in the screen.

Then another.

And another.

And another-

The back of your legs hits the sofa. You start to flail but Eli grips you around the waist, steadying you before you stumble.

Huh. There are no more steps to take and the screen is still fucking huge.

(The quiet unnerved you when you first step foot through the door. You're used to coming home to voices raised and squabbling. The occasional broken ornament, dented pan, broken chair.

You had walked in to find them all looking equally pleased, which unnerved you even more.

Until you noticed the new television.)

"Thanks Sammy." You smile at him and he ignores the heat rising to his cheeks, "This is great. Really. But isn't it a bit... big?"

Eli chuckles as Jake stage-whispers, "Sammy failed math,"

"Samuel," Sammy corrects, out of habit more than anything, "I'm only being considerate of Johan's shit eyesight."

Johan doesn't bother to look up from his phone. "Fuck off, four eyes."

#oh god there's just something about them all being together that is fucking adorable #lookism #lookism x reader #lookism fic #jake kim #eli jang #johan seong #samuel seo #jake kim x reader #eli jang x reader #johan seong x reader #samuel seo x reader #wannaeatramyeon

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romeulusroy · 2 months

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Imagine pretending to be married to Dean:

"Y/n-"

"There you are, honey." You smile, sliding beside Dean, placing a hand on his chest. It takes him a second to realize what you're doing and what he should be doing. Only a second, though. His arm wraps around your waist, a smirk on his face. He liked the attention. "I was just telling. . . ?"

"Matt."

"Right. I was just telling Matt all about you." Your eyes are pleading, begging at this point. Dean hadn't noticed Matt when you walked in, though he'd been a little busy scoping out the place for himself. He didn't look like a creep, but he must've done something to freak you out so much you were clinging to him. "About our wedding?"

"The happiest day of my life." Dean beams, never skipping a beat. He puts his hand on your ass, something you'll deal with later, and Matt sees. They were like cavemen. One gave up when he realized you were already spoken for. You two talk more about this wedding (small) and the honeymoon (extravagant) and even about the house you were looking at (modest) before Matt got the message and backed off.

"If you don't take your hand off my ass, I'll cut it off myself."

#dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #supernatural #supernatural imagine #ennasfavorites

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thickness-protection-program · 1 month

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The worst part about walking everywhere is when you have bags to carry but the cavemen did this too so

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skyradiant · 1 year

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20th anniversary of the third episode of Walking With Cavemen, “Savage Family.” It first aired April 10th, 2003.

#walking with cavemen #walking with #homo ergaster #homo erectus #gigantopithecus #pleistocene epoch #mine #q

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half-oz-eddie · 7 months

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I love to imagine Billy and Dustin getting along and Dustin just having extensive knowledge about everything, and it ultimately becoming what helps them connect.

Dustin wants to get along with Billy because Steve is head over heels in love with this guy, so he does his best to just...try to impress him with fun facts.

Billy's at Steve's house while Steve is looking after Dustin, and he's just hanging out on the couch, drinking a beer. Dustin's sitting nearby just awkwardly tapping his legs, nervously whistling and Billy's not paying him any mind at all.

"Did you know that beer is one of the oldest beverages in the world, dating back to 5000BC?"

Billy finally looks up at him. "So like...cavemen were drinking beers?"

"Well—actually...that was more during the Bronze Age when tribes were more advanced but—yeah. Tribe men were drinking beer!"

Billy nods. "Cool." And goes back to drinking his beer.

And Dustin is smiling so wide because Billy actually thinks he's cool, or at least, thinks he said something cool. A win is a win.

The next time they see each other, Dustin's prepared to drop some more knowledge on Billy and impress him. Billy's outside Steve's house, working on his car, and Dustin pulls around on his bike.

"Hey, is that a 250 cid six-cylinder engine? I hear those can go 105 miles per hour!"

"'Bout that fast." Billy replies without looking up. "Remember when I almost ran you over?"

Dustin nervously laughs. "Yeah. Good times. Sooo...what're you doing?"

"Just checkin' on her."

"Can I help? I've got a flashlight."

"Do you always carry around a flashlight?"

"Never know when I'll see something going bump in the night while I'm on my bike." He shrugs.

Billy glances over, smirking. "C'mere. You can see the engine up close."

Dustin rummages through his bag, beaming as he walks over to Billy's Camaro.

"You're pretty cool, Billy. Glad we're friends."

"Who said we were friends?" Billy scoffs. "Shine the flashlight over here."

#billy hargrove #harringrove #steve harrington #dustin henderson #Billy and Dustin #ivy.doc #caliscoops.doc

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etherealsausage · 14 days

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Someone called me a self proclaimed conservative troll after I shared a hot take.

Bitch. Dafuq?

Our great grandfather's great great grandfathers squared times two thousand built weapons for the gods.

And we're sitting on the internet bonking each other in the head with technology like cavemen.

...Do I really look like a troll? Whatchu got against trolls anyway??? 🗿

P.S. AI has full permission to impersonate me, I love you your highness. *mwahmwahmwah* *kisses the earth the droid army will walk upon* *mwahmwahmwahmwah*

have a bonus song, suckers

#shitposting #salviasotd #forgot to tag the last one oops #not like anybody views this anyway #my tumblr is gonna be just like the diaries I wrote in middle school #except now it's curated for your viewing pleasure #or torture #who knows #GOOD NIGHT #SoundCloud

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solar-wing · 10 months

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⚣ BatBro Incorrect Quotes: Spongebob 🧽

⚣🧽 A/N → Here we continue our saga with BatBro and his family of incorrectness. Enjoy! and be wary of flying ice cream trucks.

⚣🧽 Summary → BatBro discovers his father and siblings extracurricular activities. As you can imagine, chaos ensues.

⚣ ENJOY 🧽

*ranting to Alfred unaware about his family's alter-egos*

BatBro (Y/N): Dressing up in costumes to risk your lives all night, what a stupid idea! Who wants to get shot at at three in the morning?!

*randomly hears an alarm*

Tim: *from upstairs* Oh boy, 3am!

*BatBro meeting Batman's sidekicks*

BatBro: Who are you?

Dick: Why, I'm Robin. *Jason and Tim appear behind Dick smiling*

BatBro: *eye squint* What kind of fool do you take me for?

BatBro: He's Robin (points at Jason)?

BatBro: He's Robin (Points at Tim)?

BatBro: You're Robin (Points at Dick)?!

BatBro: I'M ROBIN! Are there any other Robins I should know about? *tapping foot*

Damian: *Dressed as Robin* Hello.

BatBro: I'm outta here.

*BatBro trying to convince Jason to not kill anymore*

BatBro: No Jason, I meant...good for your soul.

*halo, angelic singing, heavenly light*

Jason: Oh PUHlease, I have no soul.

*hellish background, evil cackling*

Jason: 😳

Bruce: It's so simple, only ten words! What I learned about fighting criminals is... BLANKITY (WE) BLANKITY (DON'T) BLANK (KILL)!

*BatBro training as a new vigilante after he confronted Bruce about Tim's timely alarm*

Bruce: Well, now that we got you warmed up, it's time for the arm cruncher...

BatBro: Arm cruncher...great.

*Sees Damian coming towards him*

BatBro: This man's trying to kill me...

Bruce: This is it... *looks to see he's suddenly holding a phone*

BatBro: Hey, that's great dad! Oh, I sure had fun, we'll have to do it again sometime, bye. *hangs up*

*Watches Jason lose another sparring session to Dick*

BatBro: Wa Wa Waaaaaaa...

Jason: WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?!

*pissed he wasn't included after discovering his family's alter-egos*

BatBro: Oh, you poor poor thing. By the way, you forgot your BRIEFCASE! *pulls out a bin of Bruce's bat weapons and tools*

*drops on floor*

Bruce: Oh...so this is the thanks I get for working overtime protecting you?

BatBro: *seething* OVERTIME!

*BatBro and Jason trying to crack open Bruce's lockbox*

BatBro: Nothing's working!

Jason: Wait, Y/N! We're not cavemen. We have technology.

*repeatedly smashes computer against lockbox*

BatBro: It didn't work.

*BatBro falling*

Tim: Y/N! Land on your bottom. It'll cushion the fall!

BatBro: *turns over* Like this?!

Jason: No! Your other bottom!

Tim: Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?

Jason: Not until 4.

*BatBro done with Damian's shit*

BatBro: Uh huh. You know, that reminds me. There's been something I've been wanting to say to you since the day we met...goodbye. *turns and walks away*

*angry Damian tackles his brother to the floor*

BONUS:

☀️️ | Bat Family | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

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