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seyaryminamoto · 3 years

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my school works are piled up this past few weeks (graduating tingz) and i just started reading the deadlock novel it feels like i'm reading a sokkla fic every time Mcashe has a scene because they just give off the vibes skskskskksksks. BTW, what's your top5 fav scenes from the novel? PS: I'm smiling like an idiot while reading the novel ughh i hate myself

I KNOW, RIIIIIGHT?! *-* and don't hate yourself, my anon friend, I spent the whole novel smiling and laughing and losing my goddamn mind because I was having the time of my life xD enjoy this beautiful content as best you can!

I mean, frankly, Reunion already had all the Sokkla vibes I could've wanted/needed to ship these two like FedEx and I always knew I wasn't getting off this ride anytime soon. But gosh, this book... it gave me everything I wanted and MORE! Their dynamics are soooo similar to Sokkla team-up dynamics, two power couples kicking ass and taking names... oh, I just love it so much. I probably will end up reading the book a third time soon x'D

As for my favorite scenes, damn, this is tricky xD

KEYCHAIN! HE MADE HER KEYCHAIN!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! God, it's just amazing how the book explains the "vintage" look for Ashe's hoverbike the way it does, and that they literally built it together *screams!!!*, but then he gives her that keychain for her birthday present, and the implications!! THE IMPLICATIONS!!! He gave her a keychain she's held onto for TWENTY YEARS?!?!?! Ships in the OW fandom have sailed far and wide with less than breadcrumbs: we literally have been granted a boon from the GODS with all this extra context for the little things in Reunion xD

Ashe going to hell and back to save her kidnapped BFF-for-whom-she-totally-doesn't-have-feelings-yeah-yeah-sure-Jan. I love the fact that McCree is, in a way, Ashe's damsel in distress and not the other way around xD Of course, it's what you'd expect from an Ashe-centric story, but it's still an amazing sequence, all around. Gotta highlight how she loves the way he smiles like a madman when they have that shootout at the end, and how he worries so much over Ashe's injury when he took an even worse one than she did (the Sokkla vibes in that particular situation were SO STRONG! I SWEAR!).

"Jesse McCree, are you trying to make me say you're handsome?" "Am I?" ... do I need to say more. That FLIRTING. These two were on fire already and they'd only known each other for like... weeks, at this point? x'D He has no sense of moderation, he's soooo into her and doesn't hide it at all. Ashe is so busy trying to plot all the crime and Jesse's practically like a shojo heroine, "oh I can feel it, this is how my love story begins!", basically xD

Finally I pick a not-McAshe scene... to bring up the one where Ashe picks up the Viper on her last moment in Lead Rose Manor. That moment was just... POWERFUL. The feeling of epicness in that scene just overwhelmed me when I was reading it xD

The ending of the book :'D the fully formed Deadlock Gang ready for business, down to the explanation for the Est. 1976 in the logo... *sobs* the fact that so much about the character design choices in these two characters is a shoutout to the past they share is just... *gross sobbing* oh, I just love it to pieces, I'm not even sorry.

Ashe's bike race to save B.O.B. x'D that whole situation was bonkers but I looooved how fierce she was about protecting her one and only buddy while growing up (AND THAT JESSE BLUSHED WHEN SHE TAUNTED HIM WAS JUST THE CHERRY ON TOP!). I appreciated learning more about the Omnic War and its consequences, how Ashe reflects on having escaped it practically untouched in virtue of her money and societal privilege while her new friends all faced many hardships to survive. But I can't help but also love that, however uneasy others could have been about the Best Omnic Butler, Ashe was so fiercely loyal to B.O.B. that she nearly broke Julian's nose herself over his ridiculousness x'D That's HER big omnic buddy and she's not about to lose him to anyone, not her shitty parents, not a bet in a race, NOTHING! (and it's so cute that B.O.B. is just as loyal to her, too *sobs*)

Ashe grabbing McCree's arm to explain things to him on their first heist and him being all "you gonna leave that there?" and only then does she realize her hand's still on him x'D what a McCree line, and he was absolutely enjoying the attention, he doesn't even pretend otherwise.

Everything poetic McCree says or does... meanwhile Ashe's like "um yeah I don't care about poetry I want money", right until his poet soul totally smashes her square in the heart with the KEYCHAIN!!! But damn, I swear I thought McCree would hold back a lot more, and yet there he was, saying things like Calamity was brilliant and mysterious... you could practically hear B.O.B., Julian and Frankie going "I can see what's happening..." in the background xD

The conversation about what they wanted to do once they were loaded with all the cash they could possibly want. That one was a real number on my heartstrings. It ties up to what I said earlier with Ashe finally being in touch with people who are completely removed from the ridiculous social circles of her parents and her school, people who really lost a lot in the war. But where Julian and Frankie seem to look at the past a lot, I loved that Jesse is basically just thinking about the future. The fact that he says he wants to chill out in a farm and that this is what he wants in life... many, MANY, shippy wheels have turned in my head since I read that <.< maaaany...

WHEN JESSE NEARLY FALLS AND ASHE CATCHES HIM!!! UNDERRRATED AS HECK!!! The fact that he's taunting her about fear of heights, then he nearly plummets to his death because ironies are beautiful xD and Ashe pulls him back to safety only to say that she's not afraid of heights but afraid of ~FALLING~??? I mean, okay, sure, maybe I'm reading too much into that line... or maybe I'm not <.< either way, the truth is I just love how absolutely broad of interpretation that scene and that DIALOGUE are :> ehehehe.

Oh, their first encounter. The fact that it's so cute and fun, and that it's this low in the list tells you how GOOD this book was x'D "You've got an awful lot of grit for a rich girl," first words he spoke to the love of his life xD then how they talked and laughed together about the crazy stories he shared (she was crying of laughter for the first time in her life! precious girl!), and then how she sat in the car thinking about the strange feeling she was left with after meeting him... they seriously had a meetcute in prison, how can a ship get any better? xD

WHEN HE COMES BACK TO HER WHEN THEIR FIRST HEIST GOES WRONG!!! That Ashe expects him to just leave after she falls off their getaway vehicle, but Jesse saves her and goes "pfft that's just not my style", basically... *sobs* without realizing it she ends up picking up that particular philosophy of his, saving her friends no matter the cost...! Honestly, though, the fact that every time something like this happens it hits Ashe like a truck racing downhill with no brakes because she's NEVER been cared about by anyone but B.O.B. and she's completely new to friendships and bonding with people... and in the mean time, Jesse immediately is "ride or die" with her because that's how he rolls... beautiful relationship dynamics between characters who influence each other for the better are just beautiful :')

A silly one here: Jesse enjoying the good life in Lead Rose. That description of him looking like a marshmallow in the CHAISE LOUNGEEEEE!!! (the one he references in their in-game interactions *CRYING SO MANY TEARS*), was just too cute to bear x'D Ashe just jumping back into work mode... while he was just thrilled to be a marshmallow in a towel xD

... So, um, I went overboard because I love this book a little too much for my own good :> what can I say? When things I love are good, I go wild xD There's probably more scenes I loved, but these... thirteen? XD are the ones that came to mind.

I think one of my favorite things now is reexamining Reunion with all this extra context in mind. The first time I watched that cinematic I, of course, fell in love with these two outlaws because how could I not? But while subsequent rewatches revealed a lot of things I didn't pay enough attention to the first time around, the book has done even more than I could imagine possible for a short that was already as shippy as could be xD

Ooookay so, shippy ramblings about Reunion, coming up! (simply because I have to put these down SOMEWHERE XD and your ask was a good idea for that, anon!)

First off, Jesse very much staged the whole rodeo in Reunion. He sent the tip to Ashe, he wanted Echo's crate specifically. He thought they could work together, basically, despite knowing it was entirely possible that those hopes wouldn't pay off. This train, according to the wikia, was a government train, so Jesse is very much telling Ashe to give a finger to the government for all he cares, all he wants is one (1) crate.

Ergo, Jesse, for all his "nice guy bountyhunter" deal, doesn't disapprove of Deadlock's actions. If anything, he counts on them to be exactly what he needs in order to get what he wants. He practically trusts Ashe to pull off the train heist disaster perfectly and only steps up when it's time to collect Echo.

Then the wacky shoot-out happens, it's veeeery charged (the UST is so thick, I swear...), and Jesse wins. He ties up Ashe, floats her off on the payload with the rest of the gang, and he sets Echo free. He's helping her out very nicely and everything, but the context in question is... he received the recall notification thingy XD Winston called him back to Overwatch, and Jesse...

... Jesse doesn't want to go back.

Jesse says "they want me", and the displeased tone of his voice, paired with the look on his face when he says that line, speak for themselves.

That, in my humble opinion, isn't the sequence of expressions you'd expect from someone who intends to return to the group where he thrived, had the time of his life and found his true calling. To me, he actually looks irritated about the recall (the sequence of expressions during that line is much better when you watch the full thing x'D), as though he REALLY doesn't want to return. He's not against Overwatch, I'm not quite saying that, otherwise he wouldn't have set Echo free and told her to go back at all... but this isn't remorse. It's not "Oh, I'm not good enough for Overwatch anymore". Nope... this is "My time with them is over and I don't plan on going back unless I have no choice", as far as I can tell.

If OW2 does bring him back into the fold and he's a perfectly chill and happy guy about it, I'll seriously be surprised. I mean, he could have set Echo free and, once his business is over, returned to Overwatch with her, he could have been in the Paris cinematic if he'd done that...

But he's not there.

Which outright says he didn't do that :> oops.

Basically, I think Jesse's reaction in Retribution (where he's markedly the most morally correct one of the bunch, and he's the former outlaw :'D) tells you his displeasure with Overwatch ran very, very deep. And someone can very easily say he felt the same way about Deadlock and that's why he left them for Overwatch... but that's conjecture. His displeasure with Blackwatch (and, in consequence, Overwatch), however, is FACT. And the previous conjecture falls flat pretty quickly considering he's perfectly fine with Ashe's train heist, even sets it up himself, from what the story suggests, so... how ~appalled~ was he over her choices and actions? Not appalled at all, if you ask me, and after you read Deadlock Rebels, you actually understand why: Jesse trusts Ashe.

From the first moment she enters the same prison block he's in, he's drawn to her. He wants to impress her, he absolutely enjoys her company and making her laugh (just as much as she enjoyed laughing at his wacky stories), and he's plain thrilled that she comes back for him when she does. Ashe manages the gang with inexperience but she's always willing to improve, and you see Jesse sticking with her through thick and thin, supporting her at the best and worst times alike, always putting his faith on her and constantly watching out for her (he protected and shielded her from attacks with his own body sooooo many times *sobs*). Ashe starts out intending to keep most profits for herself, and Jesse doesn't care much at first... but then she starts to share profit equally between their team. She works on her own bike herself, her own ride, and she plans and solves problems as best she can, to a point of even going overboard with planning too much. She's wild, reckless and takes insane risks... and this guy loves every second of it. The matter of morality regarding the actions of a criminal gang is, of course, something to think about... but as far as the book goes, Ashe mainly targets her own family, their specific brand of bullshit, and in the process she ends up helping lots of people and even saving lives that might not have been saved otherwise. I'm not going to put my hand on the fire here and say Deadlock never ever did anything absolutely wrong to people who didn't deserve it... but for a criminal gang? They're honestly the most wholesome one the OW team could have come up with, if you ask me.

So where you see Jesse is very much antagonistic with Reaper/Reyes, where he loses his temper with the guy's choices, he doesn't ever do that with Ashe. Overwatch ARE supposed to be the good guys... so how weird that Jesse McCree, reformed outlaw, ends up so disappointed with these guys when he was actually thrilled with Ashe's managing of their gang, as far as we saw. So much so that, when it came down to it, Jesse McCree, 20 years later, still counts on Ashe to give him a hand (without her full awareness) with a little operation to help out an old friend of his. Also worth pointing out: he doesn't want to fight at all, while Ashe, of course, does. Deadlock for life, is what Jesse said... and he's not Deadlock anymore, hasn't been for who knows how long. Worse yet... his tattooed arm is gone. It's like all his ties to Deadlock have been severed.

And even so, he came to Ashe and hoped she wouldn't want a shootout with him. Even when he knows she might be beyond unforgiving because of the betrayal (he has seen directly how outraged she was about a certain someone betraying her in the book...), Jesse goes back anyway and hopes it won't come to this.

THE IMPLICATIONS, MAN!!!

Carrying on: Echo is surprised that Jesse shows no intentions of going back to Overwatch. She asks him what he's going to do... and what does Jesse say?

He puts his cowboy hat back on (the symbolism in this short, I swear...), and when she asks him what he's going to do, he tells her "I've got some business to attend to."

THE MUSIC PICKS UP.

AND THEN HE CLIMBS ON THE BIKE HE BUILT WITH ASHE.

YOU GET A DELIBERATE CLOSE-UP TO THE KEYCHAIN.

THEN THE CAMERA PANS UP TO FOCUS ON THE PICTURE, TORN AND TAPED BACK TOGETHER, THAT ASHE CARRIES ON THIS BIKE, A BIKE WHICH, LET'S BE REAL, IS BASICALLY A MCASHE BABY CHOPPER/HOVERBIKE HYBRID, AND AS SHE PUTS IT LATER, IS...

HER

BIKE!!!

When Jesse says he has business to attend to, he could pick up any bike he wants (since it'd stand to reason that the other guys Ashe came in with would have bikes of their own). He could escape on horseback for all we know xD so there are lots of options... but no. He takes HERS. Right after saying he has "business to attend to".

Look, I could be wrong. I could be dead wrong. I can absolutely be digging around and going INSANE because nothing I ship EVER gets this much content.

But we literally get a guy saying he has "business" to take care of, and the cinematic focuses exclusively on elements that, even BEFORE Deadlock Rebels, all point towards Ashe?! You could easily say that taking her bike is just the final nail on the coffin, his last trolling idea to mess with his one true love... but that picture is right there. That picture, with them in their youth. The picture, btw, was bigger than just them: B.O.B.'s hand is there. The top of the picture is uneven, suggesting Ashe probably tore it to shreds in a fit of rage... and then specifically put together THEIR PART. And then she taped that to her bike's dashboard. Meaning, she carries the goddamn memory of Jesse with her EVERYWHERE SHE GOES. And she does it WILLINGLY.

Which, in turn, answers why Jesse expects MAYBE Ashe wouldn't go full-on hostile when they meet: this trolling cowboy knows exactly what he means to Ashe. He's not surprised when he sees that picture on the bike. He doesn't toss it away, which he could have, if he were saying "we are history now, forget it gurl" (and let's be honest, what a dick move that would have been @_@), he doesn't flinch after noticing and then goes "yeah, no, I'm picking another bike".

NOPE. The familiarity with which they talk, the way he hopes she'll just let him walk away, the fact that she DIDN'T change the keychain and bike in all those years and he's not even SURPRISED...

Jesse knows how much she loves him, point-blank. He's completely aware of it... and he's very much okay with it.

So much so... that I'm something of a 90% sure that the business he intends to deal with is ASHE HERSELF.

And no, I don't mean he's going to go on another shootout with her... I mean, evidently, that Jesse wants to come home. That he's tried the life of Overwatch, and he's decided to leave it behind. He's turned bountyhunter now, vigilante, pretty much... but he comes back to Ashe all the same. He's come back for the first time in who knows how long (going by Ashe's expressions and sarcasm with the "you promised you'd write" line, it miiiiiiight be they haven't seen each other since he got recruited into Blackwatch), and he expected a peaceful encounter, no less.

A good question to ask here is... what did Jesse hope would happen, if the encounter HAD been peaceful? He would've released Echo, sent her away to her business, and stayed behind anyway because he had business to deal with. Which business? :'D why... the business that would've been standing right in front of him.

There's no other, logical reason why this cinematic would put Ashe and McCree's picture into focus right when McCree says what he does to Echo. There's no other reasonable choice why McCree would turn his back on Overwatch quite so firmly. We know he had two important ties in his life: Overwatch and Deadlock. And Overwatch stole him away from Deadlock for a VERY long time. Well over half the time Deadlock has been in operations, as far as I can tell. He picked Overwatch over Deadlock once before... and now, it seems he's picking Deadlock over Overwatch instead :')

The follow-up short, Roadtrip, doesn't do anything to change my mind. The trolling jerk, Jesse McCree, hovers past Ashe's payload, where she's just... complaining, as she hovers xD going by what I know of the game and that map, the payload may just be en route to the gang's hideout, so that, I'd say, could explain why she hasn't climbed off it or escaped in any way (which she reasonably would have, if Jesse was trying to, I don't know, send her and her people to the authorities).

My point here is, however, that Jesse is headed the same way the payload is. If his destination is the same one, he'll beat it there for sure. Maybe, yes, he'll go away and drive well past the hideout... but maybe that's exactly where he intended to go.

Maybe, in the end, Reunion is about a man who's finally coming home :D

In addition, goes without saying, Ashe's rant about how everyone falls to pieces over Jesse showing his "stupid mug" (uh-huh, stupid, ANGELIC mug, we know what you really think, girl xD) ends with her saying she should have "put a bullet in him the minute he showed up".

Which begs the question of why didn't she.

Then, of course, she says she hates McCree when he drives past her while listening to some really ridiculous honky-tonky-sounding music x'D I cannot even help but imagine him deliberately picking that radio station or whatever it was just to annoy Ashe when he drove beside her, and so that she can get extra pissed when she retrieves her beloved bike, turns on the music and it's just more honky-tonky stuff x'D but anyway, the thing is she shouts after him, tells him that's her bike and says she hates him. B.O.B. wordlessly speaks for us McAshe shippers by giving Ashe the most "sure, Jan" side-eye in the history of side-eyes, and Ashe notices and is outraged enough to knock B.O.B.'s little hat right off his head again.

Again... this is renowned outlaw Elizabeth Caledonia "Calamity" Ashe, sitting on a payload, groaning about the guy she once very much had feelings for (and that doesn't even begin to cut it, if you ask me x'D) and for whom she tooooootally doesn't anymore, that picture on her bike doesn't MEAN that, OBVIOUSLYYYY!!, and so, she sits up, complains and doesn't do much of anything to get out of her current situation, right? :>

So, summing up my current understanding of EVERYTHING, thanks to Deadlock Rebels and my obsessive rewatches of Reunion + Roadtrip:

Jesse deliberately sought out Ashe so she would indirectly, unknowingly, help him set Echo free from the government's clutches.

Jesse hoped for a peaceful encounter despite knowing he might not get one.

Jesse has no intentions of returning to Overwatch but was willing to perform one final act of service for them by releasing Echo so she'd go give Winston and co. a hand.

Jesse is NOT surprised to see that Ashe: 1. Didn't change bikes at some point in the twenty years since they built it. 2. Didn't swap the ignition key for a button, the way she says she thought to do it in the novel until he gives her the keychain. 3. KEPT THE POETIC AF KEYCHAIN, despite resenting Jesse for his betrayal. 4. KEEPS A PICTURE OF THEM IN THEIR YOUNGER YEARS PASTED ON HER BIKE'S DASHBOARD.

Jesse claims he has business to deal with: he doesn't clarify said business verbally, but every shot after he says those words focuses on elements related to Ashe... and then, along with the novel's context, it's elements related to their BOND. Everything in that shot, EVERYTHING, is connected to the two of them. Elements that weren't shown before or during their shootout, and that are only introduced in that final moment when McCree is off to deal with his "business".

Ashe doesn't climb off the payload or stops it (which, going by how McCree simply pressed a button, and Ashe isn't immobilized in the least, she easily could have done it too if she had wanted to). Suggesting that, wherever the payload is heading, it isn't anywhere dangerous for Ashe and her crew, ergo, she is 100% sure McCree isn't trying to screw her over by turning her in to the authorities or so (or, at worst, she's completely confident that, even if he is going to do this, she'll be able to get out of it easily).

Jesse drives in the same direction the payload is headed. Another hint that suggests he might intend to head to the Deadlock hideout and that, whatever business he has left to deal with, it involves them.

If his intent ISN'T to go to the hideout... Jesse is still guaranteeing that Ashe will come after him by stealing her bike, the 18th birthday gift he gave her, and the picture she keeps of them. That he takes that very bike practically serves as painting a target on his back for her to hunt down, and he KNOWS IT.

In short: Jesse will have plenty of business with the Deadlock Gang in his future, and going by how pleased he seems to be when riding the bike, he's perfectly happy to handle that business on his terms, whenever he wants to handle it.

Extra tidbit: there's nothing in Deadlock Rebels about Jesse's smoking habit, something he definitely did pick up at some point while in the gang because, hahaha, he IS smoking in the picture Ashe keeps of him :> Which makes me wonder why, of all pictures Ashe chooses to keep on her bike's dashboard, she picks one where he's smoking.

Then, it makes me wonder about the fact that Jesse deliberately starts smoking when he's standing right in front of her (and then he winks at her!). He tosses that cigar after things get kind of dangerous for him because B.O.B. does something, and then... then he goes back to smoking.

RIGHT WHEN HE'S CLIMBING ON THE BIKE.

Like... seriously...

*unintelligible fangirl screaming*

I could be looking too deeply into this. I know I could be. Maybe Blizzard just wants me to go CRAZY with little symbolism and hints charged with SO MUCH MEANING that maybe don't have as much meaning as I thought it did...

... But man, I've sailed into the depths of the shippiest oceans for many ships that have gotten actual breadcrumbs from canon. I've gone wild over ships that have zero opportunity to become a thing in canon continuity. I've written a nearly 3M words story based on a ship that is just UNEXPLORED AMAZING POTENTIAL and ngl, I love exploring it myself, so I don't even begrudge canon that much for not giving it to me anymore.

But the fact is, no ship in OW, as far as I've seen, has remotely as much content, hints and strong ties as McAshe does -- at least, no ships between heroes. We had a cinematic that was CHARGED with significance, with little gestures, with even the smallest facial expressions that carried soooo much more meaning than whole episodes or even seasons in TV shows. And then? We got a novel. A full novel depicting their origins and exploring their dynamics, how tight their friendship was, and how some strong feelings were certainly brewing there, even if neither one was ready to act on them yet (as far as we saw...).

Finally... I'll say I did start working on a Sokkla Western AU ages ago because the idea I had for one was pretty amusing. Then Reunion dropped, and I said "Why would I need to finish that story anymore when the Sokkla Western AU is RIGHT HERE?!"

And that's it, I will stop rambling now because this got insanely long x'D but thank you very very much for giving me this chance to go WILD on everything I can see, within all those canon hints, with these two *-*

#anon #mcashe #the fact that canon is treating me right for once #is blowing my mind and always will #look I can end up crying in a heap when OW2 drops and we find out that nothing I thought of was real #it's entirely possible #... but we already got so much #SOOOOO MUCH #that I can't even say I'd be mad x'D #I am one happy camper on this ship #and I love them to pieces #I wish I had the time/chance to make all the art I've been inspired to about them *cries ten rivers*#one day... one day

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 3 years

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With the way antis have taken advantage of Alina being half Shu on the show in order to use it against Darklina I’m wondering would more people take the Grisha persecution and really discuss it rather than parroting the same “Ohh,they did such a good job with Mal on the show and the Darkling is so evil”if Aleksander was a POC on the show since Demon in the Woods heavily implies that he probably has some Shu blood since he can pass as one. I mean personally I think it feels super forced to insert 21st century (mostly American centric) racism where you already have a fantasy group as representation for discrimination and persecution but there’s no doubt in my mind that if he has been played by a POC actor those fake some fans would immediately start defending him. I think in general there should def be more discussions online about the way Grisha as a minority group has been presented and how the narrative represents them because yes Alina keeping her powers and the Darkling getting some sort of redemption would be amazing but that doesn’t solve the bigger issue of how Aleksander is vilified for doing everything he can to protect his people against a system that’s been abusing and enslaving them for centuries while Alina is so anti Grisha and spends half of her life hiding who she is(hello assimilation and co dependency so she can be the perfect “normal”girl her jerk of a “best friend”could love)and then it ends up being permanently stripped from her because the story can’t have a powerful woman learning of the unjust system that’s been commuting genocide on her people and deciding to put a stop to it. Instead we need someone like Zoya who has no leadership or political abilities to be queen and is very much pro monarchy(aka the system that oppresses her people)and her becoming a queen has to be because of her white saviour boyfriends decided she’s the best fit for it because characters like Daenerys from GOT and Aleksandr are deemed “too extreme/dangerous /ambitious”when they try to change the status quo because they’re “too violent”.But if you make another character a WOC(then change her to white passing scree you capitalised on POC buying your books)and give her how many powers basically turning her into a Mary Sue and make her a queen without her doing anything to gain it or even wanting to be one (because they would make her greedy and violent/evil)people will so not notice and root for her because performative diversity/activism solves everything. Anyway sorry for the rant I just had to vent for a bit,lol.

That's ok rant away, I think having a good rant is healthy sometimes. You've raised an interesting question in if Aleks was played by a POC would antis have actually defended him and would that have made people discuss the oppression of the grisha more. I mean I don't know the answer to it. I do feel like antis will use pretty much anything to paint darklinas as bad people. I actually talked a bit about the fact that in the books m*l is white and Aleks is the one that is presented as potentially being a POC when some antis started accusing darklinas of being racist for not shipping m*lina making the claim that they only ship darklina because archie is a MOC and Ben is white. Considering most darklinas have openly admitted that show m*l is 100% better than book m*l and how alot of people liked him in the show but just prefer the chemistry between darklina, the argument that we are all racist doesn't make much sense. Unfortunately I do think that antis use racism as a weapon in ship wars far too often and this I find worrying because if the subject of racism comes up in a more serious discussion are people just going to shrug and say its just antis being antis instead of engaging in what needs to be an important and educational discussion.

The fact that Aleks as a leader of a oppressed minority group is villainised the way he is in the books is something that has always frustrated me and made me kind of angry too. I honestly don't feel like the show villainised this character even with the bad things he does in the show. They did a very good job, in my opinion, of showing that he was a man who had spent hundreds of years watching his people suffer and was now committing these dark acts out of desperation, he feels like he has tried every other way and now fear is the only weapon he has left to use. They go to great lengths to show you why he is doing these things making him more of a morally grey character than an outright villain, which is why I think the character has even more support post release of the show. I mean I wasn't part of the fandom when it was just a book fandom but from what I've seen others saying the darklina fandom has grown bigger as people are watching the show and are just being drawn to Aleks' character and the darklina ship. This isn't something that happens in the books where he is just depicted as being evil to his core pretty much and its very hard to understand his motives and I also don't feel like he gets much development as a character he's just kind of there in the background doing villain things. Most of his development in my opinion is in demon in the woods and I kind of wish she had actually written that into the actual book trilogy.

As for Zoya I don't know much about her character past the grisha trilogy so I can't really form a personal opinion on how her character is developed past that point. But from what others have said I get the impression that LB tried to fix the mistakes she made with Alina with Zoya in that people didn't like that Alina lost her powers so she makes Zoya really powerful, they wanted Alina more involved in politics and maybe even as a grisha queen so she made Zoya a grisha queen. In some ways this is good because it shows growth and that she took on criticism and tried to fix it. Unfortunately it does make Alina's fate an even more bitter pill to swallow because Zoya's journey really should have been Alina's. In my opinion Alina should have ended the series with her powers and in a position of power so that she can help better her people's situation. Whether that position of power is as the new queen or whether they decide to get rid of the monarchy altogether and form a council or government instead that includes both otkazat'sya and grisha working together.

#darklina #answered

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perfectharmonyloveschaos · 3 years

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TUA S3 Episode Titles

Basic ideas of what each episode title could entail, but FYI I suck at these since every single one I made for the last season were wrong lmao so one thing we’ve gotta take into consideration is how the titles affected the episodes in the previous seasons.

[1] Meet The Family:

Pretty self-explanatory in that it will introduce both the Umbrella Academy and the audience to the Sparrow Academy, while also vice-versa in introducing the Sparrows in their own way to the Umbrella Academy with a sense of irony using such a casual term. Also adds an ironic twist to the phrase Klaus used in S2 ‘Family barbeques are about to get real weird’ (Klaus back at it again with his underestimated clairvoyance maaaaaaammmm).

[2] World’s Biggest Ball of Twine:

I know a lot of people want a family road trip—me too lads me too—but I honestly think this’ll be referencing the timeline after all the Hargreeves’ shenanigans. I can only assume that this may be said at some point by Five while explaining why they can’t just use the briefcase again, assuming they still have it, to just go back immediately to fix things. Their actions causes too much chaos and they need time to figure things out, potentially hide out (although I’d love to have them stay at the Academy in order to make things easier and cause friction with the Sparrows) while Five tries to figure things and the others try to find a sense of stability amongst the destruction they’ve caused. They fucked up, plain and simple, and now poor Five needs time to fix it.

[3] Pocket Full Of Lightning:

I went about looking for anything this could be referring to in terms of song lyrics or reference and couldn’t find anything yet, but something that did come to mind was that of the nursey rhyme containing the words ‘pocket full of posies’. While not the same, the nursey rhyme uses a pocket full of posies, or herbs, to ward off disease and death so my first thought was that they used this to show that flowers could be seen as innocent, but a pocket full of lightning could be something that is quick and sudden and hurts someone? I’m not sure to be honest. But the symbolism of having something in your pockets comes from having something readily available, or easy to use. Meanwhile, lightning symbolizes the destruction of ignorance or marking people to remind them of what they barely survived. So many, much like the supper in Season 2, this episode may go into the actual power Reginald still holds—even if he isn’t their original father—over the Umbrella Academy and maybe the Sparrows as well?

[4]Kugelblitz:

This one is meant to be looked up and according to google means “a black hole formed from radiation as opposed to matter” and “a concentration of heat, light or radiation so intense that its energy forms an event horizon and becomes self-trapped”. So basically—something super dangerous and wild. But it does also mean “ball lightning” in German which could mean something more considering that there is another title in German and is an anti-aircraft tank made by Germany for WWII and was an operation by the Germans in 1943 against anti-Partisan in Yukoslavia. This title has so many means connected to German that I have to think may connect to Klaus or even allude to Five, due to the idea of black holes and time travel, also being German and potentially Klaus’ twin but it’s nothing concrete.

[5] Kindest Cut:

This seems to be a parody of the Julius Caesar phrase “This was the unkindest cut of all” upon his betrayal and murder at the hands of his fellow politicians, so I can only assume that this title may allude to another betrayal but one that was either seen coming or a murder that was asked. Maybe a mercy kill? I’m not sure to be honest. But I think that perhaps at this point one of the Sparrows, perhaps Sloane who due to the character profiles released seems to be the most likely to try and break away from the Sparrows, but it could also be Five joining the Sparrows to save his siblings being the kindest betrayal? Not sure.

[6] Marigold:

Due to the fact that the golden orbs of light we saw Reginald release in S1 and that Vanya both gave and took from Harlan, this episode may go more into detail of Reginald’s connections and potential experiments with the children’s powers. There are so many questions to be answered, especially about his link to the children and how his alien-ness may tie into things. Perhaps through flashbacks or experiments he does with the Sparrows and Umbrellas themselves? Due to the fact that the original Reginald seemed aware of what the children themselves were capable of power-wise with that of Klaus’ potential, having a vague awareness of time-travel in terms of how it affects people in connection to knowing Five wasn’t ready to do it yet and even how dangerous Vanya was and why he chose to lock her powers away. Reginald definitely knew more in the original timeline and I feel like now he is going to go more in-depth with the Umbrellas this season as adults rather than the rudimentary “superhero” training we saw them go through that suited the collective rather than showing individual training aside from Vanya with her glasses and Klaus’ exposure training with the mausoleum. I hope this episode will actually address the supposed “potential” Klaus had and why Reginald saw him as his “greatest disappointment” compared to Five who was MIA and Vanya who he seemingly gave up on, especially since the next episode definitely seems to be a Klaus-centric one that could finally address his power-arc started in S1 that was basically abandoned last season in favor of giving Ben more screen time.

[7] Auf Wirdersehen:

Translated from German to mean “Goodbye” in the sense of not a forever goodbye but rather a momentary one (“until we see each other again” —potential symbolism connected to the pilot “We Only See Each Other At Weddings and Funerals”?? The next episode is called “Wedding At The End of The World”??), it is ironic that this was also the name of a show from 1983 about seven people struggling through adversity and growing closer together which may also hint at the relationships within the Umbrella family/Team Zero getting better throughout the season. Anyways, this title definitely suggests to have a large connection to Klaus specifically due to his identity as being from Germany mainly due to speaking German throughout the first season, establishing that Reginald most likely bought Klaus from a German woman in 1989 like how he bought Vanya from a Russian woman the same way in the pilot. Now, I doubt that this would be a literal goodbye due to the fact that neither any of the showrunners/cast or even Robert Sheehan himself have come close to suggesting that Klaus may leave this season and due to the popularity of Klaus within the fandom, that wouldn’t be a smart move unless Sheehan expressly wanted to leave and said as much. They simply wouldn’t kill Klaus off around half-way through the season. But I doubt this sort of title would warrant being connected to anyone but Klaus. But I definitely could see this being a sort of rebirth for Klaus through an act of sacrifice and the introduction of his immortally into the main plot. I see this as hinting at Klaus sacrificing himself like Ben did in order to save his siblings but not staying dead like in S1 when he seemingly died saving Luther at the club, and coming back to life with a new resolve and completing his arc with him accepting Dave and Ben’s deaths and letting him finally find his potential that Reginald hinting at in S1. However, I think that would happen over time and rather he may die and either the others don’t know and only find out after he comes back or he dies and stays “dead” for this episode and we explore Klaus like Vanya was explored in S1 and S2 before he is revived for the next episode like how we saw him vanish with the briefcase in one episode in S1 and appear back on the bus visibly changed in the middle of the next episode.

[8] Wedding At The End of The World:

This one seems to also be very symbolic due to the fact that I doubt any couple within the show are close to be wed, but rather it being a symbolic coming-together of the Sparrow and Umbrella Academy in order to stop the coming Apocalypse (honestly, I don’t mind another apocalypse as long as it isn’t Vanya again). A “wedding” doesn’t have to be the marriage between two people, and according to Collins Dictionary can also be “the combination or blending of two separate elements” or a “joining together” which I think is the two Academies coming together. They are becoming one, or simply ‘Team Zero’.

[9] Six Bells:

This title I believe connects to that of Hotel Oblivion and the idea of a bell hop bell when someone enters a hotel and are checked in, but the fact that it is only “Six” bells makes me think of either two possibilities; one is that Five only at this point has joined the Sparrows and so is not included with the Umbrellas being forced into Hotel Oblivion, or that Klaus who I and many theorize will die two episodes prior to this will finally wake up revived only to find that his other siblings have been locked away leading to the irony of him, who was always seen as the “useless” one being forced to team up with the Sparrows against Reginald to save his siblings. As well as this, we also can point to that of a funeral in which a bell is rung 6 times potentially hinting at a death or connecting to death in terms of Klaus being presumed dead by his siblings? Death is often signaled by the ringing of a bell and something to note is also the ringing of a bell happening at both a wedding and a funeral (tying back into the pilot title?) so I think this may tie into both Klaus’ “death” and the “marriage” of Team Zero. I doubt they would go through with hyping and building the characters of the Sparrow Academy only to kill them before the finale, and we’ve seen from the S2 finale that killing the Umbrella Academy both makes no sense and would make the idea of including Hotel Oblivion in the finale useless due to the fact that they would be dead and so why would they be sent there. So I definitely think only six of the Umbrellas will be sent there and the one left behind will either be Five or Klaus.

[10] Oblivion:

The finale title is self-explanatory in tying into Hotel Oblivion, and I don’t really have much to theorize on it based solely on the fact that there is such a high probability that my previous theories could be wrong. All we know for certain is that Hotel Oblivion will definitely be making some sort of appearance this season, whether through threat of the actual team being taken there as seen by the set pictures leaked showing cars with the emblem of the Hotel. However, the word “oblivion” also has several meanings and could have a double meaning along with connecting to that of the hotel. Oblivion came mean “destruction”/”extinction” or “unaware” or “forgotten” and I think depending on what happens in terms of potential hints of other episode titles could definitely vary. If “Kugelblitz” ends up referring to a black-hole causing the new apocalypse then it could definitely connect to the destruction meaning, but if the likes of Klaus is revealed to be alive with his siblings in this episode after being assumed dead then it would definitely add to the meaning of his siblings being “unaware” or that Klaus has to save them or face being potentially “forgotten” and alone like the ghosts.

#tua #the umbrella academy #tua s3 #tua season 3 #tua season 3 speculation #tua s3 speculation #tua s3 theory #tua s3 theories #tua season 3 theories

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darkdisrepair · 4 years

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Hailey Upton: Character Study Post-crossover

After watching the FBI/Chicago PD crossover this morning, I have some interesting thoughts about the character of Hailey Upton, who I am very much in favor of as a character, so if you don’t like her, you might not want to read.

Check it out!

Timing is Everything: Hailey & External Factors

Personally, Hailey’s (and to an extent, Tracy’s) “polarizing” label that isn’t really deserved but people do it anyway. The problem isn’t the character, or the actress, the problem is just that she’s gotten kind of crappy timing in many ways. When she arrived on chicago pd, she came on the heels of Sophia Bush’s exit, a character that a lot of people loved and shipped furiously with Jay. I started watching for Hailey not gonna lie so I’m not super attached to Erin or Sophia. I got the impression that some people (not everyone) didn’t like her because Hailey is very unapologetic, and looks very similar to Erin. She was very clearly the person meant to replace Erin, so people started assuming things about her character that were kind off-base, and the crossover (in my mind) proves that a little bit.

From what I saw on Twitter, the FBI fandom seemed very enthusiastic about Hailey’s character, even though the situation is pretty similar to the Erin/Hailey dynamic. Tracy stepped in for another established, liked character (Maggie) while the actress who plays her is on maternity leave. The difference, which explains the lower levels of toxicity, is that there is an assurance there that Hailey will not be staying, and that she is not a replacement, just a guest.

Even though she did clash with OA, people were willing to stay for her side of the story. Now, the people on Twitter might just be the vocal fans of the FBI show, but I think that shows that a lot of the tension with Hailey’s character comes from a) her strong personality and b) the fact that she came in at a very tense time in the Chicago PD fanbase.

Back to the Beginning, by Going on Another Show

I don’t know if I’m the only one who noticed this, but Hailey was on fire in this episode, honestly more so than I’ve seen in many of the episodes on Chicago PD. Don’t get me wrong, I love her in every episode she’s in, but you could tell that the writers really took the time to do her character justice.

She was fierce and sassy and determined and everything I remember her being in her very first episode. This crossover was basically a reset for her, which is what I think Voight wanted, and maybe even the writers too. I’d noticed in CPD episodes prior that she started to lose some of the qualities she started out with. It’s hard to name what they were, but she was becoming too much of a mini-Voight.

Personally, even though she definitely didn’t completely play by the FBI’s usual playbook here, she wasn’t Voight-like here. Yes, she threatened to break someone’s arm, and yes, her interrogation tactics were definitely not ones that I think the FBI show usually talks about, but she did everything by the book, just with her own twist. And I think that’s why Voight was drawn to her in the first place, when he brought her onto the team.

At the beginning of her character arc on Chicago PD, she was very by-the-book, but not in the conventional sense. She knew how to get things done the right way, and stopped at nothing to do so. She knew where the lines were and toed them when she needed to but never let cases compromise her morals, and rarely let emotions cloud her judgement.

This hadn’t happened on Chicago PD for a while. Coming to the FBI and being reminded that there are lines and other ways to get cases done really brought her character to where it should have always been, which in turn made her an even more dynamic character to watch.

Also, side note, but the FBI show is so aesthetically pleasing, which helped Hailey come alive even more :) Major credits to Monica Raymund for that!

Hailey and Voight: Two Sides of the Same Coin?

I’ve never been one to compare Hailey to Voight, and to me, this episode showed how different they are.

She adjusted extremely quickly to the FBI. At first, everyone was hyper-aware that she was not a federal agent, including OA. They doubted her abilities and second-guessed some of her choices.That changed quickly once Hailey saw some action and made some key points in their investigation. OA started to listen to her and take note of what she was doing, trusting her to watch his back, and the rest of the team did, too, even letting her interrogate a suspect.

She inspires people to do better, to learn more. OA realizes that maybe cops aren’t inferior to federal agents. Jubal and Castille recognize her interrogation skills and her strategical skills, too.

This episode, if anything, highlighted the differences between Hailey and Voight.

She wins people over because she knows how to beat the system without breaking it, and uses her deep knowledge and passion to find ways to help people without hurting them (for the most part). People trust her not because they know she can bend the rules, but because she knows when to be vulnerable. See, for example, how she relates to victims of abuse. Voight earns people’s respect because he protects the people he cares about, without restrictions. He connects with criminals through threats and violence, for the most part.

Hailey may have been come to New York because Voight thought she was becoming too much like him, but this episode just showed how different they are. She is more open, more cooperating, and has stronger morals than I think Voight ever will.

It’s hard for me to explain, but to me, they’ve always been very different, and to me, showing up in New York and bringing such warm energy to the unit shows the difference between how Hailey influences people and versus how Voight does.

What the Future Holds for Hailey on Chicago PD

What will happen when she returns to her team?

I think she’ll be more aware of the impact that cases have on her. She got the wake-up call her character desperately needed, and now I think her conviction in herself will be stronger than ever. I think she knows that she can’t keep going down the path she was starting to walk in Season 7.

She might not go back to how intense she was about the rules in Season 5, but I do think she now knows where the lines are and how to get things done without breaking them.

I’m predicting that something will come up that will force her to come to terms with what she’s done with Darius and Gael, in one way or another. She hasn’t shown guilt about those things yet, but I think what she did to both of them really does bother her. She doesn’t want to feel it, but getting Darius killed and fabricating evidence was overstepping, and she knows that even if it was done in the name of loyalty, it was still against everything she stands for.

What direction is her character arc going in?

To me, the writers seem to be leaning toward a massive Hailey-centric episode. The hints about her history with her father keep getting dropped (even on CBS, which was surprising!) and I think the fact that these cases keep coming up is affecting her, even though she doesn’t know it yet.

I was really disappointed when “Intimate Violence” focused on how Jay dealt with seeing abuse, rather than what Hailey thought. I thought for sure she had a better background to interact with Michelle instead of Jay. I also thought the roles would have been reversed, that Hailey would have wanted to rush in and stop the violence while Jay wouldn’t comprehend the emotional weight of the situation.

As a result, I’m hoping that we cover that history and maybe meet some of Hailey’s family. I think that’s part of her past she needs to explore before really coming to terms with who she’s become.

Finally: where is her relationship with Jay going?

It seems like the coronavirus pandemic ruined a lot of Hailey’s upcoming storylines on FBI and Chicago PD. I got the impression that there was going to be some kind of milestone for her and Jay, whether a confession or an injury, that sparked the possible beginnings of a romantic relationship.

I don’t think Upstead will just happen, even though the more we go on the more the show seems to be leaning toward them getting together. I know for sure I don’t want them to hook up right off the bat- I think their relationship is deeper than that.

I do think that Hailey and Jay both need to figure themselves out before they get together. Jay still carries a lot of guilt with the Angela situation and Hailey, as shown throughout the season, seems to be struggling emotionally with her sense of loyalty to her friends and her own inner demons.

If neither of them are in the right headspace, Upstead does have a lot of potential to crash and burn. They need to both be at a stable place in their lives to even think about considering dating. If the show tries to start something before either characters are ready, their relationship and partnership won’t last, so this upcoming season will be crucial.

Part of me doesn’t want them to be a thing, because if it doesn’t work, one of the most central relationships on the show will have been destroyed. Their trust is what makes their bond so beautiful to watch, and I’d rather preserve that than have them date.

Overall, thanks for reading, and sorry this got so long! Share your thoughts. Who is Hailey, really?

#hailey upton #chicago pd #fbi cbs #jay halstead #hank voight #hailey upton meta #upstead #oa zidan

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aroarolibrary · 3 years

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Oh man so, first off: congrats to angel/dean shippers on getting your canon thing in spanish but secondly:

Man this whole thing that’s been happening with this show over the last few weeks has 100% reminded me that this show and Sherlock were the two fandoms that made be super romance repulsed because of all the internalized self-hate and trauma they caused me. Like. I was romance repulsed before but those fandoms?? Jacked it up to 100% for years in which I couldn’t interact with any romantic stories or fandoms at all.

Story time!!!

Tw for: self harm, self hatred, hypersexuality, mental health issues, child neglect.

So imagine you are me: a young person who has just graduated high school and, very suddently, went from being “single mother of your little sister” who you had essentially raised on your own for the last four years when she was 5 to 9 yo to “every day college kid that sees their sibling that they raised for the last four years maybe once a month.

Also imagine that, out of all of your high school friends, none of them are attending the same university as you and so. Well.

You’re feeling pretty lonely and depressed.

Now also imagine: you didn’t really have a chance to consume media I HS because: parent. In fact 90% of what you watched was kids cartoons for your sibling +bonus Inuyasha at 3am as a...Uh....treat.....(that’s the kind way of saying ‘setting an alarm at 3am to check to make sure the parents actually got home from wherever TF they vanished to nearly every night).

But hey! You are free now and can watch/read what you want between classes! Only, well, where to start? You go to a book store and find a Sherlock Holmes book and think “okay ya I’ve always wanted to read these!” And proceed to consume them in one week flat.

They are amazing. The relationship between Sherlock and John reminds you of your and one of your best friends/honorary cousins that you haven’t seen in a while and it brings you comfort to read, but now you are out of stories so, you do what any person this day in ages does: you find fanfiction. Now, Sherlock wasn’t a thing at this point and so nearly all the fanfics were based on the books and, of those, 80-85% you gen. No romance at all. Just relaxing stories about friends and solving mysteries.

Then Sherlock happens and, don’t get me wrong, I was definitely a fan when the show started, but suddenly fanfiction was no longer mostly gen, it was shifting, becoming more and more shipping and romance related and it became harder and harder to find non-romantic stories.

Then a person I was living with suggested supernatural. “It’s a story about brothers and it focuses on them.” They said “very little romance. You would probably like it.”

And so I watched it and, they were right, I did. And ya, that one wasn’t exactly like the early Sherlock Holmes fandom, it had a lot of shipping from the get go, but I could also really easily find gen fics that focused on siblings and familial relationships and ignore the rest since there was a pretty even 50/50 split with a slight favor on the gen side.

(Keep in mind there is a LOT of other irl trauma going on in the BG of this story which I know I’ve talked about before. A lot of which is also feeding into the romance repulsion and my avoidance of romance in fandom spaces along with my “blossoming” hypersexuality)

Anyway, the familial relationship in spn was a comfort. At the point I moved from Sherlock to SPN I was in my second year on university and was doing a bit better mentally (in the “sadness” front at least) but I was still missing seeing my sister a lot and so SPN was a comfort in that sense. It was something to relax with that didn’t have romance or anything of the sort that, at that point, was only driving me further and further into hypersexuality (I was dating my first ‘official’ partner at that point and, while I can recognize it now looking back, romance in shows and movies made me feel inadequate as a partner. Like I was failing and not doing enough. Was not romantic enough. Was not showing affection enough. But physically I also couldn’t bring myself to do those things either. What I could do was sex. And, well, when that’s all you have to offer...)

ANYWAY: spn was the one show I knew of on TV that was low to no romance and that the fandom was also decently low on romance, instead focusing mostly on family and the brothers.

Cut forward a few years, I’m back into a depression, I’ve failed at a relationship again because all I can offer is sex and that’s really not enough for people that are looking for actual romance and:

And supernatural introduces an angel character to the show. It’s interesting but I’m pretty depressed and not really all that interested in the show anyway at this point-

But then the fandom happens and it’s like a flood. The romance pours in from all corners along with the absolute hate for anyone that doesn’t see anything romantic happening. It’s like watching a wild fire go through a fandom, what was once a fandom that mostly was just about siblings all of a sudden became all about this angel character and Dean. So much so that it over shadowed everything and any attempt to just enjoy the show as a gen thing or as a family-centric show became impossible.

It was also around this point that a lot of...idk what to call it really because it wasn’t exactly hate, it was like a “this is the only way to read/be in this fandom and if you aren’t we are going to harass you non-stop until you see things our way”. If you couldn’t see the romance between these two characters it was because you were homophobic. If you preferred gen it was because you were homophobic. If you focused on just the brothers and their relationship it was because you were homophobic. If you couldn’t see that Dean was better off in a romantic relationship then with his brother who he had an ‘unhealthy’ relationship with then you were homophobic.

(Keep in mind at this point I was out as bisexual and had attempted to date a woman at this point. I say attempted because, well, again: aromantic even if I didn’t know it then)

It was intense and, from the POV of an aromantic person struggling with being unable to understand even basic romance: it was traumatizing.

I tried to see it, to understand what these shippers were seeing that I couldn’t. Yes, I could see how Sam and Dean’s relationship could be viewed as unhealthy, but as someone who had lived a similar life to theirs as a kid, and to suddenly be bombarded with this idea that the “healthy” way to cope with that is a “romantic relationship” it was a lot. And by a lot I mean a death spiral.

There was...a lot of one night stands and sex and half-attempted relationships after that, in that desperate attempt to understand. There was also panic, nausea, fear that my own relationship with my sister was unhealthy. Was causing both of us harm. That the only way I could keep from hurting her further was to find a “healthy” romantic relationship instead because siblings aren’t meant to be close, not even those where one raised the other alone for years on end.

I had no context outside of fandom about what a healthy sibling relationship looked like and, hell, most TV shows at the time painted sibling relationships as antagonist 90% of the time and with them only interacting when necessary. My parents both had siblings but my dad talked to his maybe once a month and my mom faught with Hers a lot. I had never faught with my sister. We got along perfectly, mostly because from the ages on 13 - 18 I lived for her alone and so I was used to putting her first no matter what.

But this fandom, that had been a comfort for me for a while, suddenly said that was wrong. That instead romance was the way to go and I...

Well. I am conscious of myself enough now to know that I was purposely hurting myself. A lot. Punishing myself over and over and over again, not just because I couldn’t figure out how to “feel” romance like I was supposed to do but also because I was a terrible sibling. Because I had failed my sister some how and had ended up in an “unhealthy codependent” relationship with her since, if Sam and Dean’s relationship was like that according to fans, then obviously so was ours.

(God and don’t get me started on the spiral that the new Inuyasha Sequel put me into a few months ago. I’m STILL not out of that spiral yet. These last few months have not been good for the “romance isn’t important/is unnecessary” front)

I would like to say that I soon realized how terrible the fandom was for my mental health and that it was causing me to harm myself but that isn’t how this story ends. How it ends is that I Eventually I ended up not being able to watch SPN any more. Every episode was just another dagger in my side. Another failure to press my face into. Another series of interactions where I couldn’t see. Couldn’t understand. Another episode that would let to another desperate one night stand/attempt at understanding how this was better. Healthier. How this was how things were supposed to be. Another night of not talking to my family or friend and another few days of not talking to my sister because talking to her too much was wrong.

So ya. This story doesn’t end nicely. It just slowly fades to black. To a point where I hate myself so much that I can’t bring myself to interact with the fandom or internet at all. Where everything just kind of...goes away and vanished but where the trauma still exists. Where stories that start out about family and, suddenly, introduce love interests leave me nauseous and choked. Where my romance repulsion gets so strong that I can’t sleep because I just keep remembering my failures. The fact that it’s not healthy to focus or care about your family. That there must be romance. There must There must there must. Because with out it all other relationships are bad/wrong/unhealthy and you are bad/wrong/unhealthy for only having those.

Just the endless mantra. All night long.

Bad.

Wrong.

Unhealthy.

Bad.

Wrong.

Unhealthy.

Bad

Wrong.

Unhealthy.

Over and over and over again.

#can you tell what’s been on my mind all night?#ah memories #at least I’m at a point where I can recognize this as self-harm behavior to ‘fix’ myself #and not a healthy ‘but maybe if I have more sex I’ll fall in love’ situation i had going on before

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poi-bigbang · 4 years

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Art Claims

(Thank you @caviezeldaily for this amazing banner!)

Here are the remaining summaries up for claim in the POI Big Bang:

1. Title: Carbines and Capacitors

Relationships: Gen (Joss & Cheyenne, other Team Machine friendships); background John/Joss, brief Harold/Grace and Laskey/OFC, brief unrequited Shaw/Cheyenne, mention of past Joss/Cal and Cheyenne/Irene Travers, two staged scenes that are explicitly not preludes to romance Characters: (in order of appearance) Cheyenne Bodie, Joss Carter, Mike Laskey, Lionel Fusco, John Reese, Harold Finch, Bear, The Machine, Sameen Shaw, Zoe Morgan, Patrick Simmons, Raymond Terney, Genrika Zhirova, Timothy Sloan, Root | Samantha Groves, Peter Collier, Anthony Marconi, Carl Elias, Peter Yogorov, Grace Hendricks, Andrew Monahan, Alonzo Quinn, Fermin Ordoñez, Arthur Claypool, Tom "Sugarfoot" Brewster, Bronco Layne Rating: Teen Summary: A routine day for Team Machine turns into anything but when a cowboy from 1880 falls out of thin air and lands practically at Carter's feet. Getting him well and acclimated to life in 2013 is only half the battle. Computers are out of his line, but he does have other skills Finch can use… so the best laid schemes of Greer and Quinn are about to run into a 6'6" tank named Cheyenne Bodie. (Season 3 AU, crossover with Cheyenne, with cameos from Sugarfoot and Bronco)

(Wikipedia links: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheyenne_(TV_series); https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugarfoot; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronco_(TV_series); Fandom wiki: https://cheyenne.fandom.com/wiki/Cheyenne_Wiki; IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047720/) Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply; References to historical atrocities, uncomfortably timely conversations, canon-typical violence, canon-typical threats of violence, crude remarks by Shaw, Cheyenne comes from a 1950s Western and speaks/thinks/acts accordingly (but as in canon, he hates racism and injustice) Art Wishlist: Open to any media, although traditional/digital might be more suitable than manips because most available images of Cheyenne are B&W--as was the show, so vids and gifs might have the same problem. Podfic would be welcome, and the story is finished (and long!), but recording could be a challenge because Cheyenne's voice is lower than John's and because there are lots of footnotes and a few words in the Northern Cheyenne dialect, Dutch, Spanish, Sioux, Russian, and Hebrew. Cheyenne wears a very distinctive hat (brown with silver arrowheads around the band) that could be drawn as part of a still-life banner or divider, possibly with a Colt Peacemaker and a Desert Eagle (crossed?). Also, if you're interested in illustrating a scene, there are... rather a lot to choose from, but I think I'd go for one of Cheyenne with John, Joss, and/or Shaw. I will happily work with any artist to find what source/reference materials are needed--I don't know where Cheyenne is available to watch outside the US, but there are at least clips posted on YouTube.

2. Title: Spare Me Relationships: Lionel Fusco/John Reese Characters: Lionel Fusco, John Reese, Lee Fusco, Harold Finch, Bear, Root, Original Characters Rating: (use AO3 system) T (for a kiss and Fusco's bad language) Summary: (<100 words) "I don't need a genius to tell me that you're lonely." Fusco invites John to join the NYPD bowling league to give John something normal and fun to do for once. But soon Fusco realizes that John isn't the only one who's lonely. Warnings: (use AO3 system) None Art Wishlist: (what media you're open to, hoping for, any ideas) Anything is fine by me! I've never had someone make art for a story of mine, so I'm easy to please!

3. Title: Kingfishers

Relationships: Harold Finch/John Reese/Grace Hendricks

Rating: M at the moment, maaaybe E by the time I’m done

Summary:

One morning, a handsome stranger walks up to Grace Hendricks in a park and introduces himself. His name is John, and he likes her paintings.

That afternoon, Grace meets a wealthy insurance executive who offers her a sizable art commission. He’s intelligent, interesting, and easy to talk to. His name is Harold.

(A different-first-meeting story, in which Harold ignored the Machine’s attempts to set him up with Grace in 2006, only to receive her number in 2012 after he and John have been working together for over a year.)

Warnings: inexplicit references to child abuse and alcoholism

Art Wishlist: Grace’s paintings and sketches, and her feelings about the art and artists she admires, are pretty important to the story. There are passages where I describe pictures and paintings she’s created, or beautiful objects of various kinds that she and Harold both admire. An illustration of any of that stuff would be amazing, or maybe a kind of Pre-Raphaelite picture of the characters. Also, kingfishers are kind of thematically/symbolically important, and very beautiful, and would make lovely art.

Two requests: please don’t make art of Harold and John that excludes Grace, and please no NSFW art.

4. [Fic previously claimed! Should not have been here! Apologies!]

5. Title: More Than Words Relationships: John Reese/Harold Finch/Grace Hendricks Characters: John Reese, Harold Finch, Grace Hendricks Rating: General Audiences Summary: John and Harold have a lot in common. They've loved. They've lost. They've done their best to help people. And now they have a matching pair of soulmarks- tattoos bearing the first words your soulmate says to you. The marks aren't what bring John and Harold together. But they might end up tearing the two of them apart. Warnings: Choose Not to Use Archive Warnings (this fic should be tagged for some of John's suicidal ideation pre-season 1 and in the fic) Art Wishlist: Looking for visual media/graphic design. Since this is a soulmate/soulmark AU, I would be very happy if someone could design the tattoos I have in mind, in their medium of choice. I am willing to collaborate, or just see what they come up with. But while that is my ideal art pairing, I am open to anything!

6. Title: Untitled Relationships: Harold/John Characters: Harold, John, Bear, Shaw, Fusco, Carter, OCs, *possibly* an appearance by Root Rating: Teen & Up Summary: When a number goes wrong and Harold is stabbed, his entire life is thrown into disarray. Seriously injured, he's left with no choice but to rely on someone else as he recovers. He chooses John (or, rather, John chooses himself) and invites John into his home and his very private life as he slowly heals from the trauma and the wounds.

What happens when he realizes he wants John to stay close? Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply (additional warning for panic attacks and memories of a violent attack) Art Wishlist: I'd especially love illustrations (traditional or digital), but I'm game for anything.

7. Title: Bonds Not Broken - Maybe??? Relationships: John Reese/Harold Finch Characters: John Reese, Harold Finch, Sameen Shaw, OCs, Elias, Heralds of Valdemar characters, Rolan, Weaponmaster Hersch, King Jesse, Bear the dog, a cast of thousands Rating: Adult M/M Summary: An AU Person of Interest/Heralds of Valdemar crossover. John is not only a Herald, but the King's Own. The story begins with the death of the king, and this is John's journey to find his place in Valdemar. Warnings: Author Chooses None Art Wishlist: I like most styles of fanart except chibi. I love a good photo manip but really anything! If the artist is interested, I have an Instagram where I put pictures that helped me write this monster. The instagram is blackchaps with a Hawkeye icon, easy to find.

8. Title: Untitled (for now) Relationships: Harold Finch/Lionel Fusco, Lionel Fusco & Sameen Shaw, Harold Finch & Sameen Shaw Characters: Harold Finch, Lionel Fusco, Sameen Shaw, Bear, Leon Tao Rating: E Summary: One year after the death of Samaritan, Harold Finch returns to New York City and reunites with his old friends. Sameen Shaw and Lionel Fusco, who have believed him to be dead for the past 12 months, are not exactly eager to trust him again. As Harold handles mysterious cases on the outside of their new organization, he works to repair his relationships with both. Sameen, who doubts his commitment, will be hard to convince. Lionel, who bears deep emotional scars, will be impossible. Warnings: Canon typical violence, drug/alcohol use Art Wishlist: I’m super flexible re: medium. I’m very into the idea of space-centric or detail-centric art, as opposed to character-centric art, if that makes sense. Re: space-centric, a lot of the fic is about loneliness and puts the characters in empty, uncomfortable, or sad rooms and the vibe is very like these Edward Hopper paintings, I think. Alternatively, it’s Finch POV and he’s doing a lot of focusing on tiiiiiiny details and significant objects, and I’d love some fancypants studies or edits of those.

9. Title: Degrees of Separation Relationships: Gen (but the whole point of the story is that they’ve all been separated, so there are no relationships in action) Characters: John Reese, Harold Finch, Sameen Shaw, Root, Lionel Fusco, Bear Rating: Teen and Up (due to a limited use of common profanity) Summary: The lives of the members of Team Machine in their new identities during the first months of Samaritan’s full operation, from the separation of the team at the end of “Deus Ex Machina” through the events that take place in “Panopticon.” Warnings: Choose Not to Use Archive Warnings Art Wishlist: I am open to any medium. It would be great if the art focused on the separation that the characters are experiencing.

10. Title: If I Could Tell Him Relationships: Harold Finch/John Reese; Harold Finch & Root; minor Root/Sameen Shaw; past Harold Finch/Nathan Ingram Characters: Harold Finch, John Reese, Root, Nathan Ingram (mentioned) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Summary: Harold manages to tap on the fourth wall of 4x17 “Karma” and has some thoughts about the mirroring of himself with the victim counselor vigilante Shane Edwards. He and John go on their walk with Bear, but Harold keeps what he’s feeling to himself. Years later, after all of Team Machine survives the defeat of Samaritan, Harold comes across Edwards and realizes he never talked with John about all of the emotions that number still fosters, specifically regarding Nathan. Root gives him some advice, and they all work on a happiness that encompasses the past, present, and future. Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Art Wishlist: I’m open to anything, from digital art to fanmixes and anything else, really. This is a rinch fic but it’s also basically a Harold character study (entirely from his POV and a lot of internal narrative) so any art could probably focus on him.

11.

Title: The Mysterious Human Heart in New York Relationships: Jessica/John, Harold and Jessica, Harold and John Characters: Jessica, John, Harold, Fusco Rating: Teen Summary: Agent Jessica Reese has managed to claw her way back from Ordos after being betrayed by her partner and the CIA. Gutshot and purposeless, she spends her days haunting the hospital in New Rochelle, watching her ex, John. John has his happily ever after: got his nursing degree, married a great guy, lives in a beautiful house. Jess is glad. He should be happy with Peter.

When she bumps into the mysterious Harold Finch, who knows too much about everyone, he tells her the unpleasant truth about John's dream marriage. Jess must face up to the fact that John needs her help to find safety and happiness. Warnings: Show level violence, some medical detail as John is a nurse. Art Wishlist: I am open to any medium except audio.

12. Title: To my God, I sacrifice Relationships: John Reese & Root, John Reese/ Kara Stanton Characters: John Reese, Root, Sameen Shaw, Hersh, Kara Stanton, Harold Finch (mentioned) Rating: Mature Summary: Former soldier and CIA agent John Reese has condemned himself to a slow death after being burned by the agency. After witnessing a strange woman answering a forgotten payphone, he suddenly finds himself entangled in a web of secrets, zealotry and violence. Warnings: Canon typical violence, canon typical torture, mentions of suicide and rape, abusive/unbalanced dynamics, alcoholism Art Wishlist: I don't have any particular requests in regards to the art, I'm curious about what will the artist choose to interpret. If I had to choose, a scene illustration or a cover would be very cool :)

If you’d like to make art for any of these fics, the sign-ups for artists are here:

https://poi-fanworks.dreamwidth.org/27461.html

And the claim post is here:

https://poi-fanworks.dreamwidth.org/31548.html

#person of interest #big bang #fanart #fanfiction

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aerialflight · 4 years

Text

Fic Recs

I haven’t done this in a while, recommending fics. But there were some fics these past couple of months that put a smile on my face, so I want to spread that joy to others. Seriously, they’re so good and I want to shove all these recs at people and have them appreciate them as much as I do. Everyone stay safe and I hope these recs make staying home easier for everyone!

[Fullmetal Alchemist]

maestoso by novalotypo

Edward Elric is about eleven when he stands up, makes an extended effort to knock as many books off the old bastard’s shelves as he can, and says, “Fuck the military. Al, you interested in music at all?”

Everybody's got their own ideas of retirement.

The Elrics don't even do retirement, what with the world trying to blow itself up every other month, but this shit has got to take the fucking cake.

(You want a fic that’ll make you cry tears of uncontrollable laughter? I point you to this fic. The shenanigans, the fact this is a time travel fic, the fucking headaches the Elrics cause, the I-Have-No-Fucks-To-Give attitude. Legend.)

[The Magnus Archives]

we raise it up by savrenim

Jonathan Sims reads a book and saves the world; although maybe the real salvation is the friends he makes along the way.

OR: in which Jon is not the only Archival monster for very long, Sasha James is competent, Tim Stoker finds some catharsis, Helen Richardson is sexy, Melanie makes a very successful youtube channel revamp, and Martin Blackwood gets to brew a lot of new friends tea.

(This is literally the most creative, fucking inspired tma fic I’ve ever read. You literally will never be able to guess what happens next and it’s just so much fun.)(Kinda Time Travel, you’ll understand what I mean if you read it, it’s so well done and amazing.)(The characterization for Sasha makes me want to weep, I’ve never seen her characterized this way before and it makes SO MUCH SENSE.)(@savrenim you are a QUEEN and you inspire me to be a better writer.)

[Marvel]

Crash Landing by Nyxelestia

"You could've left me there," Adrian murmured, jerking his head back towards the burning beach in the distance. "For Stark and his DODC people to find me. Liz and Doris' lives would've actually fallen apart with my arrest, and all my work to take care of them would've gone to waste. You could've just left me there...but you didn't. So I'll make you another deal."

Peter clenched his hands, fists shaking hard. "I'm giving you a second chance - but if you go back to what you were doing...I can't make any promises."

"It would be stupid of me to expect you to, after all this," Adrian said. He looked at Peter, at the hints of bruises and all the blood. He had trouble reconciling this fragile-looking kid with the superhuman who's been destroying his business, his daughter's homecoming date with the boy he'd nearly killed. "That's not my deal. My deal is, we both walk away, and neither of us say a word about any of this to Liz. Anything else - we'll cross those bridges as we come to them."

Swallowing, the boy nodded.

Instead of gift-wrapping the Vulture for Happy to find, Peter lets Mr. Toomes go.

(Honestly, I’m disappointed in the fact there’s not many Vulture-centric fics out there. This was so great and Peter was wonderfully characterized here along with Ned.)(I have a deep craving now for more Adrian Toomes fics and I blame this fic for that. I don’t regret it one bit.)

[The Witcher]

all some children do is work by some_stars

It's two children, he realizes as they slowly sit up. They look about eight or nine, not that he's much judge of children's ages. One is a girl, dark-haired, in a shabby dress. The other is a boy. His clothes aren't much better, and his hair isn't much lighter than the girl's, but his eyes—

His eyes, Jaskier realizes with a distant sense of horror, are gold like a cat's. His mind makes one more valiant effort to keep from connecting the obvious dots and recognizing them, and then it finally does.

"How in the unholy fuck," Jaskier says to no one, "did this shit happen?"

(So sweet it’ll give you cavities. Break your own heart reading this, I dare you.)

of music and motion and love by WriteThroughTheNight

When Jaskier was four, he slipped his mother’s watch and went to the field to gather a bouquet of dandelions. He climbed back into the yard, as stealthy as a child really cared to be, and crept over to the barn. In the barn, lived a secret. (The man he thought his father said the secret was a monster, a plague. His mother said the secret was his sister.)

Jaskier comes from a far humbler background, and would really like to know why Yennefer never came back for her youngest brother.

(YENNEFER AND JASKIER AS SIBLINGS ENOUGH SAID. FIENOWPAFE)

to render it transparent by theundiagnosable

Geralt wakes up warm, peaceful, and utterly content, which is how he knows that something is severely wrong.

(Where Geralt wakes up in the future and Jaskier and Geralt live at the Coast.)(They are Disasters. What else is new.)(Everything’s lovely and emotionally repressed.)

[Game of Thrones]

if I give you my heart, will you promise not to break it? by janie_tangerine

Ship: Brienne/Jaime

“It’s not broken,” she protests.

“Please,” Ronnet goes on, “it’s all red. Red hearts like that are broken and their owners are either useless or more effort than they’re worth. ‘Course you would get a broken one, who else would want you?”

“It’s not,” Brienne hisses, and at that he stops talking. She realizes her voice had turned cold. Very cold. A coldness that doesn’t belong to her, she’s never sounded like that, but it seems to come from the pulsing warmth in her hands, again - “and the day I find him you’ll see he’s not broken or damaged or unworthy. And I sure as the seven hells hope no one got saddled with yours.

in which soulmates find each other through one of them having the other's heart.

or, in which Brienne gets a mostly broken one the day Jaime Lannister kills Aerys Targaryen.

(So this is a series, just want to put that out there. And I read through all of them cause I just couldn’t do otherwise. Brienne is obviously the bravest, most noble, most amazing of course. And Jaime makes me want to punch a wall because feels.)(This soulmate idea is so creatively and well done, has become one of my favorite soulmate tropes.)(There are a lot of interesting pairings in this series and the way the author went about the relationships and this expanding world has me giving all the yeses.)(Please read!!!)

[Gilmore Girls]

Weather Me by missgoalie75

Ship: Paris Geller/Jess Mariano

A year in the life of Paris and Jess.

(PARIS GELLER AND JESS MARIANO AT THEIR VERY BEST HOLY SHIT!!! I can hear their voices in every line, every thought, every damn interaction and I am so in love it's ridiculous. Paris in particular won me over, I have become incredibly fond of her and it's honestly brilliant! And Jess has a beautiful mind and I love him, I do. God, do I.)(missgoalie75 did it again.)

Living With It by thesaltyavocado

Ship: Lindsay Lister/Jess Mariano

#Future Fic, #Post-Season/Series Finale, #So Your Ex is Now Your Step-Cousin, #And You're Dating Her Ex's Ex!, #A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting Over It

(There’s no summary, it’s a series, and I’m in LOVE. I am a sucker for really, really well done rare pairs, and this is the rarest of them all. Go for it. It’s beautiful.)(Also, the author is literally the BEST, the VERY BEST at making me want to ship people I never even thought of. They’re awesome.)(check out all their fics, I went on a spree and you should too.)

[The Hunger Games]

Speechless by thesaltyavocado

Ship: Haymitch Abernathy/Effie Trinket

Effie was kind, she was warm, she offered comfort to anyone who needed it, microphones be damned. She had a reputation for generosity amongst the Victors that Haymitch hadn't paid any attention to, because he was so paranoid about showing his hand that he barely even said her name around other people, barely even acknowledged her existence. Everyone thought he hated her, Beetee had explained. Everyone knew the stories about how he'd made her cry in the sponsor's lounge at the opening of the 61st Games, how he'd blown up at Cecelia that time when she'd asked him to pass a message onto Effie for her. Is that why none of you assholes ever liked me? Haymitch had asked. No, we didn't like you because you were a prick, Beetee told him, which was fair enough.

(The best, and I mean the best fic I’ve ever read regarding this pairing. Nothing is ever going to top this. Nothing.)(The WORLDBUILDING. FUCK.)(Literally everyone is perfectly characterized in new, heartbreaking ways and I just, fuck. Fuck.)(I don’t care if you’re not into the fandom, this will make you fall in love and see the characters with new eyes and it’s absolutely stellar.)(I want to cry.)(You don’t even have to be here for the ship, just be here for the writing, characterization, the WORLDBUILDING, fucking everything.)(Please.)(This fic NEEDS more love.)(I have fallen in love with Effie Trinket.)(This is my life now.)

[Harry Potter]

Walkabout by thesaltyavocado for teethandstars

Ship: Hermione Granger/Sirius Black

"You are always far too handsome for your own good," Hermione says, "in any timeline."

(The author strikes again when it comes to shipping people I don’t expect to love, yet here it is. Such an interesting fic where the time travel already happened and it’s the aftermath that the fic covers.)(Again, characterization off the fucking charts and I just want to wrap myself up in their words and live there.)(A story about broken people trying to find peace within themselves.)

[Stranger Things]

and you hunger for the time by missgoalie75

Ship: Steve Harrington/Kali Prasad

after the battle of starcourt, steve figured the rest of the summer would involve not working, waiting for his busted ribs and face to heal, hanging out with robin and the party, and trying to ignore the panic he feels whenever he thinks about his future. All that does happen, but other unexpected things happen too.

(Bet you didn’t see this ship coming, did you? Neither did I, yet here we are.)(missgoalie75 is the gift that keeps on giving.)(But in all seriousness this is my favorite characterization of Steve, hands down.)(This fic needs more kudos and comments and basically all the love it deserves.)(God tier characterization and relationship development.)

[Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas]

nfwmb by perennial

Ship: Eris/Proteus

The goddess of discord isn't careless enough to fall in love with a do-gooder mortal prince—unless, of course, she doesn't know it's happening.

(Okay, hear me out. I know it’s weird, I can feel the judgement coming from my screen. But I am weak in the face of rare pairings that actually work and the fact I fucking loved this movie ever since I was a kid, okay? So if anybody else loves this fandom as much as I do, stand up and take notice of this. I am here to tell you there are worthwhile fics to be read in this very, very small fandom.)

I'll keep turning down the hands that beckon me to come by deavors

Ship: Marina/Proteus/Sinbad

“Jealous?” Sinbad says, voice easily and casually mocking, but there’s something else under there, an undertone that speaks of so many things Marina isn’t even close to understanding.

“Extremely,” says Proteus, cracking a half-smile, but Marina feels like he’s not joking.

They stare at each other for a few moments. Marina’s gaze flickers between them. Sun and moon. She wishes—she doesn’t know what she wishes. Her heart is twisting again, but in a different way from before: as though it’s half-empty and longs to be full.

(You have no idea how in love I am with the idea of these three being in a poly relationship. No idea.)(I’ve been shipping all of them the moment I was introduced to the idea of polyamory relationships.)(This is THE poly ship for me.)(Nothing’s ever gonna come close. Nothing.)

[Crossovers]

Trust Me, I'm an Alchemist by metisket

Fandoms: Yuri!!! on Ice, Fullmetal Alchemist

In which Yuri Plisetsky began life with the name Edward Elric, and this has made the world of figure skating a significantly stranger and more alarming place.

“Are you saying you lived a life of crime before you began skating?” “I’m gonna have to check the statute of limitations on a couple things and get back to you on that.”

(Meme Alien Edward, Ninja Alphonse who’ll smile at you as you Perish, Disaster Gay Victor, Disaster Gay Maniac Yuuri.)(If this isn’t incentive enough, the Elrics traumatizing and delighting social media with their Life Stories and their Life of Crime.)(Feral Elrics being Feral Elrics.)(It’s the kind of fic that gets better with every chapter, cause the shenanigans just keep ESCALATING.)

#Fanfiction #AO3 #Fic Rec #Fic Rec List #Fullmetal Alchemist #The Magnus Archives #Marvel #The Witcher #Game of Thrones #Gilmore Girls #The Hunger Games #Harry Potter #Stranger Things #Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas #Crossover #Yuuri on Ice #Shipping

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travesty-majesty · 3 years

Note

helloo

here's a thing if you're interested in talking about ocs, danganronpa, mcyt, anything !!

think of [could be a category of people in danganronpa, a certain group of people, ships, or even one person] and type five songs that you associate with them

if you can, associate the songs with sonething matching, such as colours, maybe activities the person/people do, emotions, etc!!

personally it helps you think of circumstances with the character[s] and come up with writing prompts, or drawing ideas !!

plus i think your type of music is pog :]]

Stxrryy thank you for this

I-im v happy

I'm gonna go w killjoy/tgolf because I've been thinking abt them alot lately and wanna animate something with them so these also double as animatic ideas :}}

So 5 songs i associate w them

(Only you know these characters, so I'm referring to them as Yellow, Green and Red! You know who they are ^^)

1. Lavender by Penelope Scott

(Killjoy)

Mainly Yellow focused, in a mm!yellow+mm!green au

We were discussing a while ago about a double mm au and i remember you saying that green might've been unstable, almost relying on yellow to keep herself sane

Imagining the song from yellows perspective, shes thinking about liking green but knowing green is unstable and she shouldn't like her

it makes more sense in my head, you gotta take my word for it it's better than it sounds ^^'

Lavender isn't as polished as sweet hibiscus tea or lotta true crime or anything, but that's why i like it!! It's very good and i recommend it

2. Godspeed by Shayfer James

(Killjoy)

Gotta thank a villain themed playlist for this one haha

Green focused, with yellow focused in certain bits

The main reoccurring line is "Good luck. Godspeed. I know I'll see you again..!"

I imagine this is green saying her goodbyes to yellow and red before her own execution, with yellow/red being the focus of the verses

I wanna expand on this but i cant do words

Godspeed is a v good song but it took me a few listens to warm up to, but the aesthetic is good! Shayfer james has a lot of good songs and they very much fit greens aesthetic, with some songs that Red would like too

3. Look Away by The Dear Hunter

(Killjoy again)

I feel very self centered writing this eheheheh

Again, greens execution focused! The main line in the chorus is "Look away, shade your eyes. Don't. Stop." which i imagine is green telling the others to just leave her, but at the end the line shifts in one last moment of desperation before she puts back up the act

I don't know if I'd ever animate this but i really like the song and i want more people to hear it

I've changed my mind i wanna ramble about other fandoms

4. Madness by Ruelle

(Dream SMP)

This is more of a general one about the SMP but the song fits so well

It'd probably focus around Tommy Tubbo and Dream but the others would feature too, with a highlight on the egg plotline

I might animate this one at some point because i think it'd fit!! Idk how to type things lol

5. If I'm Being Honest by Dodie

(TNG)

Estrella centric because comfort oc send tweet lmao

Kinda like a love song to Aeja, kinda lamenting her self worth, kinda both, y'know

The line "I'm used to being a joke..." Is what made me think of it and the rest kinda spawned from there

But like

Man someday I'll ramble all this to you in person if you'll let me, mark my words

And i have other ideas too

But for now I'll stop here because words are hard apparently haha

Thank you for the ask though!! I've been feeling kinda upset lately and this has really helped, rambling about ideas/characters makes me v happy :)

#long post #rambles :D

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flyswhumpcenter · 4 years

Text

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled. Green deltas are for requested prompts, which is none rn, as my inbox is empty.)

[SPOILERS FOR SWORD & SHIELD’S ENDGAME START HERE].

"Let the adults take care of it," he said.

"Comatose" is a weird prompt, and yet I somehow came up with two prompts. One of them was Hop-centric and I'm absolutely gonna write it one of these days, but I wasn't sure if it fitted that well. The second one is, well, this. It came to me shortly after figthing Eternatus, when Hop says this in the hotel: "And still Lee's... well, he's being Lee. Insisting on having a Championship Match with you today. It's a bit much, isn't it? You're sure you're up for it? I'm not even too sure about him. He was out cold and hurt pretty badly himself during all that mess". So this focuses on a weird interpretation of the prompt, but considering I do focus on a comatose state here, just from weird POVs, I think it counts. It was really fun to write from the perspective of Gloria and especially Hop. I'm absolutely self-indulgent in making some edits in there to what's actually happened in canon. I like having some wiggle room to work with, y'know?

--------

Calm After the Storm

Summary: After the adrenaline and dopamine that come with winning a battle, comes dealing with some immediate casualties. It turns out that, sometimes, adults can't take care of everything. Gloria and Hop learn their lesson on the field, in an elevator, a corridor, a hotel bedroom. (Or: a self-indulgent depiction of a scene Hop alludes to before your battle against Leon).

Fandom: Pokémon Sword & Shield

Wordcount: 3.1K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo.

AO3 version available here.

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Sighing in relief, Gloria picks up the still-smoking ball she’s thrown onto Eternatus. Who knows what could have happened to the people of Galar if they had failed to defeat it… But that was her fear, an anxiety that didn’t get to become real thanks to their combined efforts, and now, she gets to smile with Hop and thank from the bottom of her heart the Sword and Shield from the legend who came to save their region. They’ve done most of the job, after all; and if she had a way to truly thank them, she’d have absolutely gone to the end of the world to do so.

Still, Zacian and Zamazenta leave shortly thereafter, forgetting to take the sword and shield they got invoked by. Hop grins wider than he’s ever had despite the dark rings under his shining eyes and messy hair strands, and she can’t be much more different than him at the moment. She puts away Eternatus’s ball in her bag and goes to hug her best friend as tightly as possible. In the ruin-like top of the tallest building of Hammerlocke, they forget about the darkness that almost engulfed them and everyone they’ve ever cared about and those they know only from view or say. They’ve made it, they’re both safe, and they can now go sleep for three days…

“Wait.”

Hop, whose expression suddenly drops, lets go of her as he notices Charizard flying towards them. If they’re both washed over by flows and flows of relief, his brother’s most famous partner really isn’t, draconic features frowned. The poor guy, who still bears some bruises and scratches from weakening Eternatus with the rest of his team, is trying to tell them something.

“I think we’re forgetting something,” Hop tells her, worry rapidly painting all over his face. “We got so caught up in that fight that…”

“Now that you mention it, I do have that feeling too… Wait!”

That Charizard is…

“Lee!!”

Hop rushes in the opposite direction to Charizard, pushing on his legs as if they had never experienced the raw power of Eternatus looming over the entire region. Gloria follows suite, her heart skipping a bit as she ignores the pain in her feet, the purple half of the Master Ball Leon tried to throw before crackling under her sole.

When she stops, she sees her friend shaking his brother laying face-first on the floor. It seems like either Hop or Charizard has dragged him there in a hurry after Eternatus broke out of his attempt at catching it, leaving him in quite a pitiful state. There’s quite an heartache to have over seeing the Champion in such a disgraceful, painful-looking pose; and yet nothing beats the cries of urgency breaking out of Hop’s throat.

“Lee, answer me!”

Gloria kneels to her friend’s level, making sure she isn’t accidentally stomping on anyone’s limbs. For a moment, the only sounds are Charizard’s wings flapping, Hop catching his breath and the peaceful wind blowing the dark red clouds away.

“He’s not waking up!” He says as he looks at her, restless and breathless, before going back to looking at his brother. “Lee, dammit, stop sleepin’ like that you big Slowpoke!!”

In silence, she starts inspecting Leon. He’s got bruises all over his limbs from what she can see, cuts and scratches that sometimes are decorated with dried blood, and she doesn’t dare point out how… exhausted he seems. They all are, truth be told, but there’s something about seeing such an energic grown-up lying on the floor unable to wake up and get on with his day, that simply aches.

Watching Hop trash around like that pains her just as much. The relief and joy they felt until they remembered about the third party who tried saving Galar before they had even gotten there in the first place is now gone, eaten away by brotherly instincts. She grabs him by the sleeve, shaking her head, as he stars at her, helpless.

“I don’t think he’s going to wake up anytime soon, Hop.”

“W-what are you…”

“We can’t do anything about it ourselves, can we? Let’s just bring him to someone who can.” She tries smiling to ease the distress in his eyes. “I’m certain the Champion’s just as tired as we are.”

Gloria knows that isn’t entirely true. Leon didn’t just fall asleep when all of this mess was going down, as he couldn’t have with how noisy and adrenaline-inducing Eternatus’ appearance was. However, this alone doesn’t give her the impulse to straight-up tell Hop about it. Nobody is going to leave this world today, she knows it, but in the meantime, can she really blame a boy for being worried about his sibling?

“Yeah, you’re right,” he finally says as he gives his Dubwool a Repel and summons it out of his ball again. He smacks his cheeks and tries smiling. “Mind giving me a hand? Lee’s kinda too heavy for me to lift on my own…”

“No problem.”

She calls for her Cinderace to help them out, entrusting her first companion with being delicate when handling their Champion.

-------------------

Going down from the top floor of the tower is slow. Neither of them is speaking: they’re both too tired and too speechless for that. Gloria doesn’t even know if her words would make things better or worse: what is she supposed to say, in that kind of situation? Instead, she just stands her, fumbling with her

Hop’s eyes never leave his brother, even when he blinks, lying on his Dubwool who shows little signs of still being amongst them aside from his chest rising and falling. Dubwool himself is very static: it may be the fatigue of the wild day they’ve all experience, it may be the worry of his Trainer transmitting itself to him, it may be something else.

There is no Macro Cosmos employee to fight against them and no music in the lift that people she had never met before were praising to them something like an hour ago. She glances, from time to time, to Dubwool, to Leon, to Hop, and everything else feels too silent now that tension has died down. If there was too much noise before, there is now too little left of it.

Yet, Gloria prevents herself from humming to pass the time. It just doesn’t feel right to suddenly break into a song when there is so much on all of their hearts, even if it’s to alleviate that weight, so she remains silent. She doesn’t like any single bit of the aura of mourning this gives to the situation, the heaviness of the air, the tapping of their feet echoing as they impatiently wait for the elevator to go down. Nothing about this feels right.

It should’ve been a time to celebrate. They should’ve been chattering away like birds, discussing the tournament, the Gym Challenge, stuff kids are supposed to be hyped about, right? They’ve just saved the world. They should feel nothing but relief and happiness; and yet, she can only see Hop ball up his fists in his pants’ pockets, silent, head hanging down with his eyes fixated on one person.

If she was trying to convince herself earlier that Leon may have fainted, but could have just fallen back asleep when they were fighting Eternatus (that barely makes sense, but she supposed that, if you were tired and a heavy sleeper enough…), the fact he’s reacted to nothing until now, not even the monstrous cries of Eternatus, the vigour of Zacian and Zamazenta, the frantic screams of his brother or being moved around, can only tell her he’s comatose.

And that word stings her tongue.

“Y’know, that’s kinda stupid, when I think about it.” Hop suddenly says, trying to draw a smirk on his face.

“What do you mean?”

“I know Lee’s gonna be alright. He’s always been alright, even if he’s scared Mom and Dad before. I’m sure he gave Sonia heart attacks while on their Gym Challenge. There’s no reason he won’t be now, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Lee’s the undefeated Champion of Galar, and yet, I’m scared for him and all… That’s dumb, I know it, but… But I can’t not worry! He should’ve woken up by now, right?”

She doesn’t know quite to respond. Mom often says fear can be an irrational feeling or reaction… but it doesn’t sound like a rightful explanation.

“He’ll be fine, sure, but when?”

Gloria doesn’t have an answer to give him, or, at least, no answer that’d sound truthful yet optimistic. Hop shakes his head and goes back to being silent, putting the hat falling out of his brother’s head back on top of it. Over and over again.

When the elevator’s doors open, she lets go of a breath she’s held for too long.

---------------

Truth be told, Sonia didn’t plan on watching the championship unless Hop or Gloria made it to the finals. She was somewhat blissfully unaware of the surprise cancellation, only learning it when she saw the two kids running past her and into the Slumbering Weald, barely getting an explanation on the situation from them. Thus, she only flew to the bubbling, buzzling Wyndon when learning about what had happened with Eternatus and the Chairman and all that jazz. It’d still serve as study material, even if she had other reasons to attend…

A surprise was waiting for her there and, like most surprises in her life, it wouldn’t be a good one.

What she finds in Wyndon is people stuck between shock and relief and an aura of worry. People speak amongst them, some recognize her, and she tries her best to sneak her way into the hotel where Nessa told her to go. Her friend was fairly vague in her wording, mentioning she could be interested in what had unfolded for her research. Her voice sounded less confident than usual and she could hear, from the other side of the line, the discussions amongst themselves of other familiar voices, mostly Leaders’. The only thing she was able to clearly distinguish was, however, Milo asking Nessa if she wanted a drink. How mindful of him.

That’s only the first layer: she’s allowed into the hotel fairly easily for being the new regional professor, much to her wallet’s relief considering how pricy and luxurious this hotel seems to be, and plans on heading to the floor Nessa told her the number of. However, instead of going through with it, her eye immediately spots Hop on an inferior floor, pacing in the corridor, taping his foot whenever he stops, hands deep inside his pockets.

When she engages the conversation, he seems far less optimistic than she’s mostly seen him be. He seems somewhat evasive, trying to escape a conversation, as if time’s running out. She can only point that out.

“You look like you’re in a hurry, Hop, what’s wrong?”

“Lee’s not waking up.”

The sentence pinches something inside of her.

“You can’t possibly mean this man is sleeping peacefully when he’s meant to battle Gloria as soon as possible, right?”

“That’s because he’s not sleepin’.”

Before Hop can add anything, Sonia opens the door behind him, an alarm ringing in her head with a bloodcurdling shrill. That’s what was giving her the weird feeling about this entire situation! Of course he’d have called to tell her how excited he was about this entire thing, he’d have posted about it on his social media, and if not him, then it’d have been Hop.

Sonia doesn’t remember having ever seen Leon comatose, or having to worry about that before, so she busts open the door and gets her fears confirmed in an explosion of silence.

----------------------

Hop’s sitting on a chair, waiting. He got tired of pacing, and so did the hotel staff, so instead he’s sitting on a chair next to a bed. At some point, there was Sonia with him, before she had to go do something else. At another, there was Raihan pretending not to care (and really being bad at it). At yet another, there was Gloria yawning her jaw out. Time’s been slow. He knows these people were there for less than an hour each.

Actually, it’s only been something like three hours at most. Time’s just been really, really slow. He fiddles with Dubwool’s Ball in the meantime, ears wide open for the smallest sound, fingers impatient. It’s night outside, which he sees through the mostly-closed curtains to the black sky and little yellow dots from the never-sleeping Wyndor.

His eyes flutter with the wind. It’s hard to stay awake now that the fatigue of the past few days settles down and the adrenaline of saving Galar is fading away. It’s too calm to stimulate him and yet, clutching on the hope that his brother really is sleeping, he doesn’t want to disturb his rest. He hopes Gloria has managed to find a way to fall asleep and that she’s having some beautiful dreams while he stays here, as a vigil.

He puts away Dubwool’s Ball for a bit and just stares at his brother. Lee looks oddly peaceful, lying like this in a comfortable and silky-soft bed, despite the circumstances he’s found himself in and the crease his eyebrows are making. It’s odd to see him without his signature hat, or his cape, or even just being the Champion. It’s weird seeing him that way after spending so much years only seeing him through the screen of the telly. For once, he feels like the stronger sibling.

That should’ve satisfied him, or at least given him some joy, but all he can think about is how wrong it’s rubbing him. It’s not meant to be. Not that way, at least.

He yawns like a Snorlax, sustaining his head up with faulting elbows. He can’t exactly see Lee’s little injuries here and there as most of his body is covered by a blanket, even if the band-aid on his cheek already says a lot; and so does seeing his uniform displayed on hangers in the room and his cap neatly put on a bedside table, untouched, its crown pattern hidden in the shadows. He can’t turn on the lights more than just the lamp on the table in case Lee opens his eyes and gets blinded by the brighter ones of the ceiling. The darkness doesn’t help him stay awake, but it just has to be that way.

He’s no Champion of Galar, and he may never become one unlike what he’s promised to himself ever since Lee became the undefeatable; yet it’s like he’s the one in charge tonight.

-------------------

A gentle shake on his shoulder makes him slowly open his eyes, clarity coming to him in a burst. It takes a while for him to truly come back to the surface, as if his sense were numb with tiredess. Finally creaking an eyelid open, he notices there’s someone else awake, lit by the gentle morning sky seeping through the curtains..

“Hop?”

He releases a sigh of relief. That’s finally something good and worth rejoicing over.

“Lee?! Since when have you been awake?”

His brother looks a little confused, and the dark rings and bruises haven’t entirely disappeared, but nonetheless, he smiles.

“Not much… You should go to bed, Hop, it’s late.”

His yawn gets interrupted by Lee getting back on his arms, exposing a couple bandages on his forearms in the process. He jumps wide awake, as if he had never felt comatose in the first place.

“What are you doing?!”

“I’m gonna go on with my day,” he visibly winces when tucking away the strands of hair that have stuck themselves all over his face. “I’ve slept for long enough.”

“W-wait, don’t get up!”

It’s the pain in his bandaged shoulder, of which he can see a bit of under the right sleeve of the sleepwear they gave him, that actually makes Lee lie back down, not his words, and he knows that.

“You’ve been out cold for a while, and you’re hurt and stuff, you shouldn’t be moving!”

“I didn’t know you became a doctor while I wasn’t looking, Hop”, his brother laughs as he scratches his head.

“Very funny, Lee,” he laughs back, “but that’s what the doctors said while you were knocked out. You’ve really made us worry!”

“Hah… I passed out before Gloria and you saved the day, right?”

The tone drops in mood. It’s like rubbing salt in a wound he thought was closed.

“…Yeah. Charizard dragged you to safety after he protected us. I guess you really saw nothing of that…”

“I haven’t, I’m sorry. I should’ve taken care of it myself.”

“I was terrified to see you get knocked out like that… And you wouldn’t wake up! It’s like you didn’t react to anything around you!”

Lee scoffs. “I really was out cold, huh… Well, don’t worry, it’s all good now. Gloria and you have saved Galar and everything’s back to normal, right?”

He nods.

“Good. It’d have been terrible if either of you had gotten injured. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” he tries getting up again, slower, gentler, and it’s still not okay because he’s still wincing at each move he makes, “I have a match to dispute against this year’s challenger…”

“You’re not in a condition to have a battle, Lee!”

His brother stares at him for a few moments, silent, before smiling again.

“If I stay here, will you go get breakfast?”

“For you too or just –”

“For you. You’re tired, go back to sleep.”

Hop can’t prevent himself from proving the point by yawning. He’s sore from the weird position he’s fallen asleep in…

“Okay, okay; but you stay here, right? Otherwise I’m gonna send you Sonia or Raihan!”

Another chuckle ensues.

“Wouldn’t want to be scolded at by Sonia, I must have scared her us enough. See ya later.”

“See ya, Lee,” he says as he gets up, almost falls from how wobbly his legs are, and gets out of the room.

There’s undeniable irony in the fact that, right before leaving the room, he notices Lee has fallen back asleep. Seems like the comatose state didn’t constitute as proper rest. Better get some food and sleep before he follows.

On the way out, he spots Sonia, who enters the room right afterwards. Passing by her, then in the corridors, he stops in front of a window giving onto the busy streets of the city. The heart more at peace, he finds that the sun has never shone this bright in Galar.

#pokemon #pokemon swsh #pokemon gloria #pokemon hop #pokemon leon #pokemon sonia #hop's dubwool #pokemon swsh spoilers #comatose #loss of consciousness #hurt comfort #emotional hurt comfort #light angst #gloria (pokemon)#hop (pokemon)#leon (pokemon)#sonia (pokemon)#brotp: children of postwick #brotp: brothers with split destinies

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 4 years

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Dear Yuletide writer,

I’m 100indecisions on AO3. just based on numbers of requests/offers in the signup summary, it seems fairly likely that you matched with me on Avengers Academy, but it’s also slightly possible it was Silent Hill 3 or The Bifrost Incident. numbers also indicate nobody else requested or offered my other two fandoms, but I’m including them here anyway in case you or anyone else wants to take a stab at them. (there’s also this post if you want a little more info about why these fandoms are cool and where to find them.)

regardless! the important thing as always is that you have fun writing the fic, and for the most part everything that follows is just a suggestion. whatever you come up with, I’m sure I’ll love it.

I feel like…most of the fandoms I requested aren’t too likely to lead to fics with my major DNWs, probably. I wouldn’t want to see dubcon or significant manipulation in a relationship that’s supposed to be positive and healthy, for instance. I’m not opposed to explicit sex scenes of any kind, although I often end up skimming them because I’m the type of ace person who is just Not Interested in most of the physical aspects, so…you’re welcome to write sex scenes if it’s relevant but you absolutely don’t have to feel like you need to.

in general, my biggest DNW is unhappy endings. I’m thrilled to see my favorite characters go through all kinds of hell to get there, so for most of these I would be very happy to get something tagged Crueltide, but I also like things to be okay or at least hopeful by the end. if canon is the unhappy part in one way or another, I’m always happy to read fix-it fics. Between post-canon fix-its that could reasonably happen in the future and canon-divergence AUs where things are okay now because of some mid-canon change, I have a slight preference for the former, but both are good.

as for stuff I like, well, the other thing implied by my main DNW is that I do often enjoy fairly dark fics, as long as they end okay. I also like Loki a lot, as you can probably guess from my requests. if you ended up matching me on Avengers Academy Loki or Bifrost Incident Loki, and/or you want to take a stab at one of the other Loki-centric requests, the Loki fics I’ve actually written are pretty representative of stuff I like in my Loki fics, which basically boils down to “sympathetic interpretations always, with loads of angst and/or whump on the way to a reasonably happy ending”. I tend to take a somewhat lighter tone in general with my Avengers Academy fics (I’ve written several of those and only one of them doesn’t involve Loki at all, so…yeah I have a one-track mind where Loki is concerned), although I did also write a pretty damn whumpy fic for AvAc Loki. I’m very invested in the relationship between Thor and Loki as brothers, although Thorki is usually a personal squick. for things that aren’t necessarily Loki-related, I like found families and deep friendships, sibling bonds, stories about characters reclaiming their own agency from some outside force and/or figuring out how to take control of their own narratives, and probably plenty of other things that aren’t coming to mind at the moment. I’m equally good with plotty fics and little slice-of-life or introspective pieces. I will always always always be happy to see queer characters, especially asexual ones.

more detail about my specific requests, basically just expanded versions of what I wrote in my sign-up:

Silent Hill 3 (Heather Mason). I love this game and that’s mostly because of Heather–she’s resourceful, brave, and incredibly tough, and the game is essentially all about her reclaiming her agency (in a very literal, physical way) from people who used her for their own ends. Anything that gets into Heather’s head would be great, whether it’s a missing scene of some kind during the game or something afterward that explores what she does next, how she recovers from a frankly massive amount of trauma, and how she reconciles the various layers of her identity. The ways in which Heather, Cheryl the child, and Alessa both are and are not the same person are endlessly fascinating to me, and it seems like she probably has a lot of weird memories bouncing around in her head at this point--and possibly some extra trauma from Alessa’s memories of things Heather never physically experienced, as if she doesn’t have enough to deal with already. I would also really love to see something involving Angela and/or Maria from Silent Hill 2; I’m not sure how the timelines would line up (although realistically, considering the setting, that part would be trivial to handwave) but the way Heather basically said “fuck you, you don’t own me” to the cult makes me want to see other female characters find their own agency as well, and it would be really awesome if Heather found a way to help them do that, either by helping them directly or just by influencing the way the town operates. in general, I love these games for their atmosphere and symbolism, so anything you can do along those lines would be great.

Avengers Academy (Loki, Thor). I still miss this game. I especially miss Loki, who was a snarky little bastard but really not a bad dude. Mostly I’d be thrilled to see anything that focuses on him (or her, I super loved Loki’s canonical genderfluidity) developing actual friendships at the academy, with any characters who might be relevant (Steve, Natasha, America Chavez, Nebula, Union Jack, Angela, Jane Thor, really anybody). Working things out with Thor and/or the rest of his family is always good too; Loki’s Frost Giant storyline didn’t involve Thor at all, for instance, probably because it was written long before Thor was added to the game, so I’d be interested to see how things went when he found out his brother was a Frost Giant. I’m also always happy to see crossovers of some kind with other Marvel universes, especially considering AvAc was an interesting patchwork of film and comics canon; meta stuff where characters are aware of their multiverse counterparts is always fun (again, my own AvAc fics are pretty representative of what I like…and if you wanted to build off anything in those, I’d be thrilled). and hey, if you want to pick up or expand on any of the plot threads the game never really got around to, like more about the Academy’s supposed mole, the actual nature and origin of the timefog, or other worldbuilding-related stuff, that would be awesome. random slice-of-life stuff is also fun; so is expanding on any of the event plotlines or digging into in-world reasons for various gameplay decisions (way back during the Civil War event, for instance, Loki was one of the characters who could do stuff to earn points for Team Cap even though this didn’t come up in dialogue--it was almost certainly because they needed another non-event character to round out the rosters, but it would also make a fun premise for a fic). I’d also be happy to see something post-canon, showing what characters are up to now or doing some kind of reunion. I’m realizing somewhat belatedly that last year I only requested Loki because that’s the character I wanted most, and this year I requested both Loki and Thor even though my actual wishes haven’t changed, which...I’m not sure if that’s a potential matching problem or not. But just to be clear, the only character I require is Loki, and everything else is basically a suggestion. If there’s a character I haven’t listed but Loki had an interesting interaction with them, or they never spoke but you think they’d play off each other in fun ways, go for it.

The Bifrost Incident - The Mechanisms (Loki, Thor, Sigyn). I...need a fix-it. Like, for these characters specifically, but also for the universe in general, because the premise of this album is absolutely fascinating but I can't deal with tragedy, so--I need somebody to fix it. Somehow. I mean, I would also be very interested in pretty much anything about Loki and Sigyn, backstory or otherwise (especially if there’s Loki whump due to cosmic horror in general or Odin being a dick specifically, because...I am who I am), or Loki’s relationship with Thor, or...yeah, pretty much anything Loki-centric? But also I am a baby who cannot deal with tragedy so I gotta have like...at least a hint that things are going to end up differently than in canon. Or if you really don’t want to do that, speculate on this universe’s version of Valhalla or something, I don’t know. And yes, even though this isn’t a Marvel universe, I would also be very happy with some type of crossover/fusion with the MCU or another Marvel universe.

Loki: Where Mischief Lies - Mackenzi Lee (Loki). I had a lot of issues with this book and I’m not sure how much of that is just me not appreciating what the author was doing with an unreliable narrator (in part because I’m already pretty attached to certain interpretations of Loki) and how much is the author not quite doing it right, but I’d love to see something that would…make it make sense internally in terms of Loki’s motivations and actions. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a fix-it, although I’d love one of those too, with Loki reuniting with Theo and/or actually reconciling with his family. A giant crossover that includes this Loki with other major versions of Loki could be fun too. I’ve been planning for a while to write up some kind of actual review to articulate what about this book didn’t work for me, and I’ll update this post with a link when I do that, although…again, I know nobody else offered or requested this one. (if you think it sounds fun or you just want to read this book in general, my library actually has the ebook on Hoopla, so it’s worth checking to see if your library does too.)

What If... Thor Was Raised by the Frost Giants? (Loki, Thor). This is such a great little AU and I need MORE. Slice-of-life stuff with Thor and Loki growing up (and Laufey being an abusive bastard to Loki)? Fix-it where Freyja survives or somehow gets brought back? Post-canon fic picking up immediately after the end of the comic? Far-future speculation about what the present-day Marvel universe might look like with this change in its history? Literally anything post-canon about Thor and Loki tentatively reconciling? YES PLEASE. As always, biggest DNW is unhappy endings.

#yuletide 2020 #yuletide #avengers academy #silent hill 3 #the bifrost incident #loki: where mischief lies #marvel comics #look at me doing my Yuletide letter in a reasonable timeframe for once #mostly because...the majority of this was copied from last year's but whatever #marvel what if

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fight-surrender · 4 years

Text

The 5 Stages of Wayward Son

Word Count: 1283

This has been knocking around in my brain since September 24th, but others came along and shared their feelings and thoughts about this book far more eloquently and succinctly than I could. Plus it just hurt too fucking much to think about. I think I even have a draft somewhere on the topic that I started and stopped when this was all fresh.

But then Rainbow Rowell twisted the knife yesterday with her annotated playlist blog post. I started to read it but had to stop. My more emotionally mature fandom friends read it and messaged me weeping.

I know my tears are there, I can feel them under the surface. But through a confluence of life events and experiences, I’ve gotten really fucking good at locking them up. My therapist noted that they’re beyond locked up, I disassociate from my emotions completely. I’m working on it, slowly some feelings are percolating up. When Simon kissed Baz in Carry On, it was like an electric shock to me. I felt joy for the first time in years. That book made me so fucking happy. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why, but I joined up with this fandom, started writing fic, made some of the most incredible friends of my life and counted down to Wayward Son.

Shock, Denial, Isolation- when I googled the stages of grief, stage one was a hodgepodge of these. My heart stopped when I read “when I break up with Baz” in chapter 2 of WS. This was my worst nightmare, the thing I thought Rainbow would never actually do to us. I mean, she teased it, but I just thought…I almost put the book down. But I pressed on, convincing myself it will get better. I dug out an ancient emergency cigarette around chapter 11. My brain on repeat: “it will get better; they will be ok” like a drumbeat. I was home alone, sitting in my leather club chair with my pets when I finished the book. I’m not sure I’ll forget that spot, that moment. Good God will it be emblazoned into my psyche like 9/11? But at that moment, I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me and I was flat on my face in the dirt. Pure shock. All I could do was ugly cry in my bed while my pets looked on with concern. I isolated. I drank whiskey and ate cheese. I felt pretty insane— still do to be honest. Traumatized from a book? A work of fiction?

I’ve been thinking about it nearly constantly since then. Because I’m disturbed. Ask anyone. I know Rainbow has said that this is a very Baz-centric book, but for me it was all Simon. I needed Simon to be ok. I needed to know that you can go through trauma, where you lose everything you thought you were and that you can recover from that and be loved for what it made you. What you became. Simon’s trauma was my trauma. His worthlessness was my worthlessness. But this was fiction, this is where I get to escape from my humdrums and go to a world where at least someone gets a happy ending.

That’s what fiction is. An escape from reality. I get it, Rainbow, that’s not real life. Wayward Son is supposed to be like real life, but that’s not what I wanted, it’s not what I needed.

Instead, I got what I already have. Sinking dread. Uncertainty. Self-doubt. I wanted to rage, numb, distract. Anything to avoid looking down the barrel of my own sense of worthlessness and what got me there. In WS, Simon Snow gives voice to the troubled whispers of my own brain. Carry On used to be my emotional support book. Whenever I was anxious or sad, it was like a drug. “And then he kissed me,” “because we match,” were like dopamine hits. Now it feels hollow. It feels like a lie.

This was obviously a case where my expectations were about a billion percent wrong. I was hoping for angst with a happy ending. I got angst with an uncertain ending. In hindsight, I kinda think I would have been ok if I knew ahead of time that it was a middle book. It wouldn’t have been such a shock. But here we are.

I’m legit afraid of Anywhere the Wind Blows. At this point I think Rainbow is capable of anything. I know she maintains that she loves Simon and Baz as much as we do. But does she love them together or apart? Maybe she decides they should just be friends. Maybe somebody dies. I mean, Elanor didn’t get Park. Rainbow said that she’s writing an epic love story: isn’t Romeo and Juliet an epic love story? I simply don’t know if my heart can take it.

I need to take a moment here. This whole piece is a moment—I actually have the house to myself—which is rare—because that’s where I have usually been: alone. I usually face my traumas and falls alone. I’ve been through some shit that would make your skin crawl. I’ve coped and muddled through by myself because I’ve never had any support. Simon has Penelope and Baz—I never had anyone, mostly due to my own habit of isolating and numbing. Until now. This fandom, the friends I’ve made. I don’t know where I would have gone, where I would be without them. I thank them from the bottom of my heart. I love them with my whole heart. Every chamber. (particularly “the moms group”, @penpanoply @vkelleyart and @carryonsimoncarryonbaz )

That’s the crux of it isn’t it? Simon has Baz. He has someone who loves him despite everything that’s happened to him, who loves him on purpose. He has Baz, his soulmate. He has Penny, his dread companion. If he can’t be ok, what hope is there for me?

So anyway, back to the stages of grief, I am currently stuck at stage 2- anger and stage 4- depression. I don’t think there’s any room for stage 3- bargaining. I mean, I’d sell my soul for Simon and Baz to live happily ever after as a couple, but Rainbow has made it abundantly clear that she’s a contrarian and will gleefully do the opposite of what readers wish. I just learned that the hard way with WS. So bargaining is out of the question. In the meantime, I’ll just read fanfiction of them being a happy couple.

I put WS in the place inside me where I put the things that hurt too much: the difficult euthanasias at my job as a veterinarian, when my dog died last year, when my marriage exploded six years ago (I’ve put it back together), a lifetime of miscellaneous hurts and traumas. I need to take these things out of their hiding place. @adamarks said it beautifully in their fic, Oh, Hello, I need to scrub out the inside of my heart with tears and elbow grease and anger and work. I want to put myself back together piece by piece until I resemble something presentable. So eventually I can get to stage 5-acceptance (and hope, but that’s scary as fuck).

I sure hope you haven’t read to this point, because this is all just me working through my feelings about this book and it’s probably mind-numbingly boring. If you did, I hope you found at least a shred of something relatable. If not, I apologize for the wasted time. I promise to go back to my regularly scheduled programming after this. I just needed to shit this log out of my brain so I can move on.

I love you all.

Viv

#wayward son #word vomit #probably delete later #simon snow #baz pitch #do I really want to tag this?#carry on #don't read this #i implore you #it's just me rambling about ws related trauma #ws spoilers #i guess #mostly just feelings not plot #ugh

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elcorhamletlive · 4 years

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what kinds of things, narratively speaking, do you think help keep stony stories from being too tony-centric? it seems like a lot of the time, even if a story is about steve growing and changing, he's learning something from or about or for *tony*, whereas stories where steve helps tony love himself more or whatever still has the focus on tony's journey. what sorts of writing choices do you think can balance that or what kind of stories do you think are more entirely steve's?

tony-centric ask anon here again. for maybe a better example, stories where tony does a bunch for steve -- like, makes him a bunch of armor, tech, or whatever -- often seem, regardless of POV, like they're "tony is so generous and giving" stories, while a lot of times stories where steve does a bunch for tony -- helps him have better eating and sleeping habits, makes art for him, etc -- end up feeling like "tony is so great and deserves so much" stories. hope that makes sense.

This is an very interesting question, Anon. I’ll do my best to help!

I want to start this reply by pointing out, though, that a fic being Tony-centric is not, by any means, a problem that needs correction - it’s a totally valid writing choice! I know you didn’t imply that it isn’t, but I feel like sometimes people send me messages acting as if I think like that, and I just wanted to take a moment to clarify this is not the case.

That being said, I feel like this question is more about a situation where you want to write a fic that’s Steve-centric, but struggles on how to do it. And that seems to be something that happens to many people, because when you have a favorite character, it can be hard to not focus on them every time they’re in a story - so, if someone is a huge Tony stan, it can be hard to keep the focus of a fic in any other character when he’s around.

When it comes to the example you’ve mentioned, though, I feel like the specific actions being compared are seen differently because they differ a lot in terms of scale - I find that, in stories where Tony does a bunch for Steve, he’s usually doing very over-the-top things that are only possible because of his wealth and genius. These are things that end up being more about how great Tony is because they’re simply not things any other character could do for Steve, and I think this colors our perception of the situation. Meanwhile, the things Steve is usually shown doing for Tony (such as making him art or trying to help him sleep better) are more mundane things that most people could do for their loved ones. So I think the difference in the framing ends up being a result of that, as well.

As for writing choices that can help balance a story, I feel like a good thing to do is ask yourself a) what is the main conflict of your fic and b) what is the resolution for this conflict (if there is one). Keep in mind that conflict here just means “a conflictint force that pushes the story ahead”, so it doesn’t have to be a huge moral dilemna or anything - it can literally just be “Steve hogs all the blankets and Tony is grumpy about it” or something with equally low stakes. Generally if you think up a story, it already comes with a conflict imbedded in it, no matter how minor, so if you have an idea for a fic, you usually also have an idea for what is the conflict guiding it.

So, if you want your fic to be Steve-centric, I think a good start would be: What is Steve’s part in this conflict? Is it about him at all? Because if not, then you probably need to tweak it a bit if your intent is to focus on him. It’s also important that he plays some part in the resolution - that doesn’t mean he has to fix the conflict with his own hands, but the climax of the fic needs to be about him in some way. So, for example, if the climax of the fic is Tony doing something for Steve, and you want your fic to be Steve-centric, the focus should not be on how great and generous Tony is for doing that, but on how this helps Steve within the context of your story.

For example, Unfurl Your Gown, a fic I love, features a situation like this, where Tony’s understanding and kind behaviour helps Steve deal with his inner struggle towards his preference for crossdressing. But the focus in not on Tony’s behaviour, but on how it affects Steve’s feelings.

That’s another good thing to ask yourself while you’re writing the story: How does whatever happens in the fic affects Steve, personally? How does he react to it, and why? If you feel like you don’t have a good enough grasp on who Steve is as a character to know the answer to these questions, try to go back to canon a bit and pay attention to his actions and what seems to drive them. The goal here is not to find an absolute truth written in stone (Steve is not a real person, after all, and, although he does have a core character that’s pretty clearly defined in the MCU, there are many details about him that can depend on how you read him and his personality), but instead to find an interpretation that sounds right to you, and that you can work with while writing him.

I’d also like to point out that, in Stony fics, at least to me, it’s always easy to focus more on Steve if I’m writing from Tony’s pov, and vice-versa. I feel like, when we say “Steve centric”, people immediately jump to “okay, this must be told from Steve’s pov”, and then, because they’re writing a Steve who is in love with Tony and thinks he’s amazing, the fic ends up being about how amazing Tony is. The focus on Tony ends up being a logical consequence of telling the story through Steve’s eyes, since, in a Stony fic, of course Steve is going to be heavily focused on Tony. So I’d say that, if you want to focus on Steve, it’s a good idea to consider writing from Tony’s pov instead.

Finally, I think that, if you want to write about a character, it’s a good idea to just... think about them, in general. I’ve already mentioned that going back to canon is nice, but you can also engage with them through fandom. Read meta about them, read other fics that are focused on them, see some gifsets about them, watch fanvideos, etc. That’s when inspiration can hit you, which can make the task of writing about the character in question a lot easier.

#sorry for the huge ass response anon lol i hope this helps you!#writing #Anonymous

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laufire · 4 years

Text

Roswell NM 2x05

My thoughts of this episode could basically be summed up on “Extremely Mixed Feelings” lmfao.

Let’s start with Rosa, obviously. Gosh, I adore her. ADORE her. She feels so lively and real and colourful among... well, everything and everyone else xD. She did even in death. She makes this show better by being the point of contention in the narrative. The mixed feelings come when she interacts with anyone else, because though she remains her incredible self, (almost) everyone else isn’t and I keep chaffing against the dominant narrative :P. She’s also hilarious lmao. I love every one of her zings xD. The “bitch-ass aliens” was obviously the winner, but her calling Max & Isobel’s nonsense “psychic twincest weirdness” was close LOL.

Like, I don’t know how I feel about the show even JOKING about Rosa possibly forgiving Max & Co. The scene itself with Rosa DEMANDING her own room was perfect, but. Yeah. Don’t even joke about that xD. To add that, I actually really love her scenes with Max, both in previous episodes and this one, when he briefly convinced her of stopping his resurrection (I kind of love that the episode was so close to Easter, btw, it’s so on the nose xDD). The energy between the actors works REALLY well and I find myself suddenly paying attention to Max, which hadn’t happened so far xDD. However, I’d enjoy those scenes even more if I could be reasurred that Rosa is always going to have mixed feelings at best about him, and will never be reduced to prop him or Liz/Max (like in the moment where Rosa almost has to comfort Liz about Max loving her. Leave my kid out of this pls). But. Yeah. I also have some guesses as to where the Rosa vs. Max storyline will go now that a.) she has more control of her new powers, and b.) his resurrection is the one that’ll follow the Came Back Wrong pattern, but they’re half-formed/half-wishful thinking so far lol.

I love love love the physicality of Rosa’s scenes with Liz too, even if sometimes I’m bothered by other elements. I’m just amazed by how the actresses manage to make it come across that despite the obvious visuals, despite how ~youthful and reckless Rosa feels... she’s the older sister, still. That’s how she feels, and Liz gets ~swayed by this. Like how she bundles herself agaisnt Rosa’s chest for comfort (and in the second one, the transition to that after Liz holds Rosa’s face in her hands), or how Rosa talks about her “sweet little sister”, etc. It also helps making the relationship feel less proppy than it would otherwise --younger sisters doing something for their older ones feels different than the reverse, idk. I have Thoughts about this but they’re all tangled up with myself projecting stuff on them, so idk what I’m trying to convey here xDD

I’m less conflicted about Rosa/Isobel. STAY AWAY FROM HER ISOBEL. Seriously, I full on despise her now. Fuck her. At the beginning of the season it looked like I might start finding her interesting, but nah. That’s over. And in particular I want her as far away as possible from Rosa. I’m even surprised by the strength of my reaction lol, but I wanted to yell at her to take her dirty paws off Rosa xD (seriously, the scene where she puts her hand on Rosa’s chest felt so so creepy? Was that just me? Add that in Isobel’s comment about having a “threeway” and deugh. GO AWAY ISOBEL). And frankly, it’s hard to miss how Isobel is always at her worst with women of color (I’m wary of her attitude to men of color, after the blatant sexualization/mind control thing with Kyle or all her bullshit with Arturo, too). Her comments on Rosa’s addiction (let alone assaulting her or locking her body in a closet ofc) didn’t help her case. I really, really wish Rosa had chocked a bitch xD. BTW, I’ve seen people attribute Isobel’s shittiness to her connection to Max and his darkness when a.) we saw NO SIGNS of this, and b.) she’s been terrible from day one, okay xD. If the show goes there to absolve her of responsibility like it did in s1... ugh.

My connection was crappy af last week and I somehow missed Michael’s “help me move a body” scene until I saw the parallel done with the one this week and... did this bitch really joke about desecrating Rosa’s body in front of Liz’s face?? (who said nothing because she’s now completely on pod-people’s POV land, ofc. I had flashbacks to Delena joking about Caroline’s rape right there, too). Seriously, the pod-people, ALL of them, have an enourmous debt with Rosa (EVEN MORE NOW), and I really, really wish she collected.

I wish we’d seen Arturo & Arturo-Rosa stuff this episode. It’ll still be tainted by the circumstances (*hates Isobel even more*), but I’m very curious about them. And about how Rosa’s bio-father ties to this stuff --that side of Rosa’s family is being left out of things so far and I don’t like it, tbh. It seems to be simply because it’s too far from the pod-siblings circle of influence ¬¬. Or about how Arturo is processing all this (he still thinks Rosa drove and killed the two other girls and that Max is A Very Nice Boy *barfs*. I seriously resent the very real posibility that Rosa’s story will never be untangled, to her father and to the town).

Not-Rosa-centric stuff under the cut, I guess, because this is getting long xD

I also have mixed feelings about Maria’s scenes with Alex (and Maria’s scenes in general). OTOH, she looked amazing (this is important, js. It’s such a shame we didn’t see Michael’s reaction to that last outfit of hers *-*); I love the actor’s easy chemistry, too; and I think it’s very, very interesting, that Alex basically nudged Maria towards Michael and Miluca. OTOH, I dislike how the conversation immediately turned to supporting him, and especially the false equivalences between Maria falling for Michael and Alex contributing to the lies to her (though I don’t find him as responsibly for that as Michael and especially Liz --since it was Michael’s secret and he planned and struggled to tell her, while Liz was pretty comfortable keeping her in the dark except for her own emotional needs, and knew too well why those secrets could cost), or between looking at your mother’s search history and forgiving someone for keeping you in the dark and endangering your life, js. That he guilted her into forgiving Liz (and so fullfilling Maria’s prophecy about how Liz only struggled to tell her because she wanted support, and my own about how little her anger was allowed to last) made it worse.

I feel terrible for Kyle. You could feel the toll he’s taken smh. My heart broke a little when he told Liz “you called, I broke the speed limit”, too :/. His relationship with his mother is hanging on the balance after all his lies too, which doesn’t bode to well for him either. I liked the scene between him and Alex, at least, though I still don’t think I could ever ship them, given Kyle’s romantic history with someone that ALSO was hung up on another person, js.

Other people have talked about how Alex’s scenes with Michael often highlight his classism and how little it’s talked about in this fandom, but yeah. His comments about Michael’s “wasting” his life... I Felt that.

Related to that, Max’s comment about how someone “has to clean up [Michael’s] messes” is part of why the pod-siblinghood thing is never ever ever going to work for me, sns xDD. Sure, it’s mostly because I don’t like Max or Isobel at all, or Michael 40-50% of the time, but yeah, things like that, or Isobel assuring him of the BLATANT lie that Michael means as much to her and Max as each other... they make it harder to get into the ~spirit lol. Another issue is how TERRIBLE the editing to make them appear younger looks xDD

I had to, HAD TO, roll my eyes at Max’s martyrdom. Ooooh, he’s not doing this for HIMSELF, he would NEVER care about being in PAIN, he’s doing this for US. And the narrative conveniently doesn’t take him at his word and saves him, ofc, because’s he’s a lead and that’s what’s up. It was interesting seeing the other characters coming to acceptance at first, however --I hope it’s a Sign. There are other Signs (of Max’s narrative maaaaaaybe weak spots) that really *pop* in this episode. Like the fact that there’s doubt over who is more important to him, Liz or Isobel. In a show with a really strong male lead, the answer would unquestionably be Liz: she’d know it, Isobel would know it, we’d all know it. And sure, I know a lot of people would say that it’s “better” (?) for a show to acknowledge the ~importance of familial and platonic bonds~ and what not, but c’mon. I don’t doubt that if Liz had been white things would be different. But that’s not the case here. And there are strong arguments for Isobel being number one... like the fact that this amnesia plot in the promo seems to ONLY involve Liz? I mean, he seems to remember Isobel just fine. A male lead forgetting the love of his life is very, very tricky. OTOH this is good in the sense that I’m all for anything that makes Max take a fall... but his & Liz’s stories are too tangled up and I’d fear she’d surely go down with him :/

#roswell: new mexico #rosa ortecho #maria deluca #ortecho sisters #roswell thoughts #roswell spoilers #my thoughts #talking to the void #antimaxevans for ts #antimalex for ts #except not but i Say Something Negative so *sighs*#antiisobelevans for ts #kyle valenti #liz ortecho #antilizmax for ts #antimichaelguerin for ts #antipodsiblings for ts #bitter lau tag #favourites: soul siblings

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