#unironically ❤

[mondonguita]

80s suits: Sonny Crockett (Don Johnson) y Ricardo Tubbs (Philip Michael Thomas) - Miami Vice

#sonny crockett #don johnson #Ricardo Tubbs #richard tubbs #Philip Michael Thomas #miami vice #miami #80s music #80s aesthetic #80s fashion #80s suits #80s tv series #80s tv shows #80s tv #80s #vintage #men fashion #80s men fashion #unironically ❤ #vintage tv #tv series

[icarus-star]

do u guy's have any asks to send about joel.. >~<

#please he's so cute 💔 #so cute that i'm gonna use 👉👈 unironically #i ❤ rory culkin #rory culkin #rory culkin x reader #rory culkin smut #joel schumacher (rorys ver) #halston netflix

[floralovebot]

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD

#WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #genuine fuck you to everyone who unironically supported and stood up for this racist bitch ass of a show #even just ignoring how awful it is anyway like im sorry how the fuck did people like this? #if only white people like your show its a bad show #winx club #love seeing the tag rejoice the endless winter has faded the witch is dead spring hath returned 🥰💞💕❤😍

[klavery]

my beloved namesake 🎀🎩

#hollyposts #mine #klavery #pokemon swsh #aromantic #rival avery #rival klara #the aro arrow (lol) is pointing at avery not the both of them its just him #my most unironic ship art❤

[faggotmox]

@distortionboi plays this specific moment at least 23 times a week. & that's just the times i hear it playing the video, not telling how many times it watches without me. so i finally cut the 9 minute segment down to just this moment.

#distortionboi #cody rhodes #the miz #i married an unironic miz fan ❤ #abt ranger

[ctorres74]

//fuck I think I missed that. What did he say

{ i'd get a sc but unfortunately discord is the worst ever but essentially someone said "what if cesar and mark were actually in a really toxic relationship and mark only stayed because cesar was his only friend" and alex replied with 🤭 . and it ruined me }

#{ unironically though there's a lot of different ways to make a friendship toxic and i'm super excited to see where she takes the idea } #{ or maybe they were just fucking with us idk. if they are this is gonna stay canon because i'm such a fan of morally dubious characters } #{ especially when they get tormented ❤❤❤❤ }

[obnoxiousselfdiagnosedneurosis]

I love Naruto

#send post #unironically #honesty posting hours I love this dumb show and these dumb characters ❤

[blissfali]

girl im having one of the most emotionally challenging experiences of an epiphany you would not believe

#Why is it so hard to comprehend this #ive never been so torn between two ideas in my entire fucking life Like it actually hurts #vent #i dont know #i rlly need to speak to my therapist cause i feel like id i think about it any lopnger im going to spiral just like cwilbur unironically #Like i want to think about it bc how else can i figure it out #but on the same hand. yeah #im usually pretty good at being emotionally and self aware #but this one thing is kicking my fucking ass #and i dont know if its just because its clouded in so much skewed and warped experiences #or if its my faulty memorys fault #or if its just cause of my trauma #but i CANNOT UNDERSTAND IT.... #Its ok. im just like cwilbur ❤ill figure it out 😊

[angelbarelywrites]

♡ slashers scenarios | kisses! (part two)

♡ fandoms; Friday the 13th, House of Wax, Scream (kinda), Hannibal (TV), Dead by Daylight, slashers (general)

♡ characters; Jason Vorhees, Bo Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair, Danny Johnson, Hannibal Lecter

♡ reader; gender neutral

♡ cw; suggestive content

♡ notes; i swear i have consistent groups of characters picked out i swearrrr

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

Jason Vorhees

> at first, he’s hesitant to even kiss

> one, it’s a gateway to more- part of his brain is still nagging at him for being involved with someone at all

> two, he doesn’t want you to see his face any more than you have to

> but god does he love it when you finally do kiss him, promising not to look and gently pushing his mask away with your eyes closed

> he suddenly gets what the big deal is and he’s hungry for more

> even if you’re super clingy, he’s ten times worse

> he wants to carry you everywhere- no one can bug you that way

> and it’s super easy to kiss you when he doesn’t have to stoop down (in comic canon he’s 7 ft we’re keeping that whew)

> sometimes when he doesn’t want to take off the mask- usually when he’s taking a break from working- he’ll just affectionately bump foreheads with you

> kinda like a giant cat, but he considers it a kiss

> he’d be worried for your health if you actually kiss the mask, he knows it ain’t clean lol

> you’d have to beg really nicely for hickies- and no way he’s biting you, he’s so nice

> he gets very flustered if you give him marks- but he’ll stare and admire at them in the mirror all the time until they fade

> his favorite kisses are first thing in the morning, when you yawn awake and gently press one to his cheek or forehead

> he loves that the first thing you do each day is love on him

Bo Sinclair

> king of PDA

> he’d call himself that unironically too

> to be fair usually there’s not many people around

> but on rare outings out of Ambrose, he makes good on the title

> he’s always got a hand in your back pocket , or on the small of your back, or around you completely.

> and his face pressed into your temple every opportunity, mumbling quietly to you whatever dumb joke he can think of and giving you little kisses

> he’s a biter, definitely loves marking you up and then bragging about it.

> on your neck, but in less visible places as well. thighs are a favorite

> he’ll go as far as to show you off to planned victims if it’s safe enough

> as soon as you’re alone together, even for the briefest amount of time, he pounces

> he kisses you rough and deep and creeps a hand up your shirt

> usually he stops just at your tummy, but that’s more frustrating

> and if he feels like being a little shit- which he always does, he takes more than a second to pull away when someone walks back in

> he’d never admit it, but the kisses most precious to him are the ones that no one else will ever see. ever

> he has night terrors often. he went through so much abuse and trauma as a child that it’s inevitable

> and each time he wakes up screaming, you hold him tight

> his head on your chest as you kiss the top of his head and rock gently

Vincent Sinclair

> he’s shy. eventually for you he comes out of his shell, but when it comes to PDA his anxiety always present.

> he doesn’t like his brothers seeing you kiss. or the dog

> he will hold your hand in front of them at least, and he doesn’t complain when you ghost your lips over his knuckles

> alone it’s a completely different story

> he loves holding and being held, your face hidden his hair and giving him gentle neck and jaw kisses

> the quickest way to get the mask off is to ask for a kiss

> he’s a sucker for that cute pout you do

> and he’s eager to oblige anyways, almost methodical with his gentle kisses

> he always has a hand on your cheek, and kisses slowly, savoring it

> and then he usually moves down, worshipping every sensitive spot

> he likes receiving marks more than giving- but if he does give you a hickey it’s getting photographed and drawn

> you’re his muse after all

> and he’ll go through periods fixated with drawing your mouth and neck when you’ve got these little love marks

> (and i have just. the clearest image in my mind of him putting on black lipstick and covering you kisses for a portrait he wants to paint. i don’t know if that’s anything but it’s definitely cute.)

> his favorite kisses are the most simple, when you’re checking in on him at work

> you don’t say anything, just hand him a mug and peck the mask

> and if he’s lucky you’ll linger, arms around him and chin on his shoulder as you peek at the canvas or little sculpture

Danny Johnson

> second runner up for king of PDA

> he’s slightly more relaxed, though he’s one to keep at least slight contact when he’s around you

> he’s just so possessive

> he trusts you wholeheartedly, but he doesn’t think other people deserve to even check you out

> so if someone looks too long he’ll give you a lingering kiss that makes you giggle

> because you kind of love his jealous streak- it’s playful even if he acts so serious

> he wouldn’t hurt anyone for just looking. probably

> he’s another freak that loves the mask kissed

> and also, another freak with a documentation kink- every single bruise and bite gets photographed

> and sometimes he’ll take a shot of you kiss drunk, lips swollen and eyes hazy and panting right after he pulls away

> those are his favorite pictures

> he loves coming home, still bloodied and suited up

> pushing his mask up and pulling you close to make out in the kitchen

> even if you’re whining that he’s staining your pajamas again

> he’ll tell you to shut up and put you on the counter, kissing you while standing between your legs

> and then he’ll kiss your neck, then chest, then stomach then…well you get the picture

Hannibal Lecter

> he’s an expert in everything he does- kissing is no exception

> he is surprisingly chaste most of the time

> he loves giving kisses on the cheek, the forehead, the top of the head especially

> and he’ll certainly briefly hug you and hold your hand in public, but nothing more

> it can be frustrating at times, especially if you’re an attention hungry person or particularly insecure

> and when you tell that this his eyes soften and he holds you close, murmuring reassurance

> from then on he tries to be more mindful of reading your cues and giving you plenty of love when you need it

> he loves when you ask for kisses

> whether it’s “pretty please kiss me?” or “can i kiss you?” , he loves when you look up at him all shy and mumble out the question

> he’s got a… dominant personality, he loves when you ask or ask permission for lots of things

> especially bites and hickies

> you’ve got to beg to get him to mark you- not that he’s hesitant to-he just likes it.

> and when he starts it’s all night, everywhere

> he’ll coo over you and tell you how nicely you bruise

> if you ever mark him, you’re in trouble

> the fun kind, but still trouble

> he loves breathless kisses- the kind you give him after doing something incredibly lewd

> just so full of affection and desperation and sloppy

#slashers #slashers x reader #slashers x you #jason vorhees x reader #danny johnson x reader #danny johnson #jason voorhees #friday the 13th #hannibal x reader #hannibal lecter #hannibal #dead by daylight #scream #ghostface x reader #ghostface #vincent sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair

[it-them-ace]

Best part about Wild Shaping?

✨ Animal Cuddle Pile ✨

This just in, I fell down ye ol' rabbit hole of "looking into a ship ironically, only for it to turn unironic" and Halsin/Tav/Astarion owns my heart now. (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

I know I may be late to the Batstarion train, but I'm now putting forth the headcanon that Halsin teaches Spawn Astarion some basic druid stuff so he can wild shape into a bat, because adorable romance opportunities.

#astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #batstarion #halsin #bg3 halsin #tavstarion #halsin x tav x astarion #Tav: Sharnolu #my art

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

AS MY TREAT I WANT THE MOST SILLY, GOOFY AAA HCS OF THE PAPA'S.

Like idk Copia used to have to wear earplugs because Terzo snores so loudly it's literally obnoxious or something like that.

“aww my middle finger likes you”

❤︎ synopsis — this is pure bullshittery and crack in its finest form with the papas. they can be a little crazy at times

pairing: all papa emeritus’ x gn!reader (can be platonic or romantic)

theme: crack ✦ , fluff ✿ (if you squint)

a/n: this is a toast to my bestie for being an absolute chad. i was high making these, enjoy.

cw: terzo is a warning enough on his own. that’s it.

▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆

➵ papa primo

he’s the oldest so he constantly has to deal with the shit from his psychopathic brothers

like— primo is basically THE mom friend, except he’s the mom for moe, larry and curly over here

(moe, larry and curly being secondo, terzo and copia)

he constantly had to hold back secondo from beating the shit out of terzo because terzo made fun of him for being bald

“I’M GONNA RIP OFF YOUR WEAVE—“ “SECONDO NO—“

bro unironically listens to weezer

like full out busting down a just dance move to this music

you once caught him dancing to it, and he stood there frozen like the man emoji

he told you to never speak of it again and you just nodded, trying to plague your mind of that horrendous image

primo cannot cook for shit too btw

you were once out and asked him to make something before you got home to the ministry

the minute you walked in the door, the kitchen stove was on fire and all of primo’s ghouls were running around and screaming in infernal about the fire

meanwhile, primo stood there not knowing what to do, looking like the man emoji AGAIN

it’s basically his trademark at this point

“…. primo what the absolute fuck—“ “it wasn’t me i swear.”

while primo’s ghouls were still learning english, he once said “fuck you” to you in a very sarcastic way

but the ghouls thought it was how humans said “hello” in english

so they went around to the other siblings of sin, and sister imperator saying “fuck you” to them while leaving all those poor people offended and dumbfounded

you smacked the back of his head after that and forced him to apologize to his ghouls and to the siblings of sin (plus imperator of course)

and he gave the ghouls extra scritches too

primo also has the dad sneeze

like he can send another universe to the next tomorrow with his goofy ass sneeze

he once sneezed so loud he scared copia and caused him to bang his head on the wall

it was kinda funny tbh

anyways yeah note to self stay 10000 feet away from primo if he’s on the verge of sneezing

it’ll save your life

┅✦┅

➵ papa secondo

secondo has two moods

“oh my satan you’re all so stupid i literally hate you all” and “tee hee i’m a girly girl”

like ??? what’s this guy on???

this guy has the sass of a high school history teacher

like secondo’s being so deadass about whatever he’s saying but he’s always fucking saying it like—

“c’mon now, you literally have the style of a hairless roach 💅”

it confuses you a lot of the time, really

secondo has his moments where he’s sweet, but for the most part he’s pulling up the middle finger to everyone he sees

it’s a habit

someone could say hi to him in the nicest way possible and he’ll just grumble and flip them off

it’s not even that he’s trying to be mean, it’s a habit (a very bad habit)

you once got tired of it and smacked his hand, when he flipped you off. so it’s safe to say he no longer does it

at least to you

secondo is an absolute menace to his brothers

with primo he’s chill because he’s the eldest, but with the younger two he’s got no chill

definitely made copia cry at some point during his younger years

he later got his ass chewed out by you and primo, because no one makes copia cry

secondo’s literally so bossy it’s kinda funny

he’s always one flip flop away from smacking someone every time someone pisses him off

him and terzo are BEEFING all the time

and it’s over the stupidest shit too

“you’re stupid.” “well, you’re face is stupid” “you’re both stupid, end of the discussion.”

you once switched out all of his skull face paint for a pink barbie pallet

so secondo was walking around lookin’ like hello kitty emeritus and everyone was trying so hard not to laugh

even his ghouls were struggling too

“… secondo—“ “not. another. word.”

┅✦┅

➵ papa terzo

bro’s the fuckin’ definition of fruity

you thought secondo was girly pop?? wait ‘till you see terzo, he’s fucking extravagant

will literally show up in the grocery store lookin’ like a character ripped straight from criminal minds

like— he has to make a show EVERYWHERE he goes. he likes to stand out

terzo is also the type of man to wear skirts and dresses because he knows he’s hot shit and he devours every fit he puts together

he shows off that waist frfr

“… terzo what the fuck—“ “shut up you know i’m sexy and i’m going to show it.”

if you wear skirts or dresses he’ll definitely ask to borrow them

he definitely passed down his fruitiness to copia

and to his ghouls

he scams kids on adopt me and has a good laugh every time because he likes to see people get mad at him since he stole their hella expensive pet from them

primo told him to quit it because what kind of satanic pope scams poor little children on a roblox game?

as stylish as terzo is, he cannot do his hair and makeup to save his life

he’ll usually ask you to do it for him wherever he has to perform or do public events, which is why his face paint is simple compared to secondo and primo

it gives you two bonding time though and it’s cute

he once watched the pinkie pie smile hd video and was traumatized for a few days

like he straight up locked himself in his room and would not come out unless you convinced him to do so

during an after party after a concert ritual, he got so wasted and almost kissed omega

like you had to PRY this man off of the poor ghoul, while omega stood there unaffected (hehe tall buff demon boy)

terzo is the shortest emeritus and none of his brothers will let him live it down

ESPECIALLY copia, since he’s younger than him

terzo almost kicked him in the nuts because of that

but that definitely was a stab to his already massive ego

you reassured him that there’s nothing wrong with his height even though you found some of the jokes his brothers made funny

live laugh love terzo

┅✦┅

➵ papa copia

copia doesn’t know what he’s doing half of the time

like he’s just given a mic and he just wings a performance while the ghouls on stage are fucking around and going absolutely feral

out of all the papas, copia legitimately treats his ghouls like his own kids

he feels like he’s getting more grey hairs every time he has to stop swiss from fucking his own guitar, or sodo and phantom from fighting about cheese sticks

you sometimes help copia do ghoul-sitting and it’s just chaos. you’re literally their second parent

copia and you = parent duo for the era iv ghouls

he unironically owns a lot of funko pops

and he keeps the one of himself on a special pedestal in a glass case for safe keeping

though secondo almost once knocked over the case and he was three seconds away from smiting a bitch

you once were looking for copia because you wanted to ask him something and you found him in a ritual room

except the ritual was that he surrounded himself with a bunch of rat plushies and he was on his knees in front of a picture of a rat with a tiny crown

you were so confused, and he refuses to acknowledge what that was

“…. copia i—“ “you didn’t see anything.”

he fucking washes himself with dish soap and laundry detergent

this man is going around smelling like dawn dish soap and it’s so weird

it’s not that it even smells bad??? it just smells so interesting and strong you swear you’re in a fever dream

copia is an avid mitski fan

definitely cried his eyes out like a little bitch when he first listened to “the land is inhospitable and so are we” because he couldn’t get over how sad “my love mine all mine was”

radiates theater kid energy

but like— the kind of theater kid that is just passionate about theater and is very giddy when people ask about it

when he started his first meeting as papa he got so nervous that he straight up started the meeting with the word “mushroom”

like it’s so random ??? but it made the ghouls and you giggle so it somewhat worked out ??

copia is a little silly

▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆

#ghost bc #ghost fanfiction #papa emeritus x reader #papa x reader #papa primo #papa secondo #papa terzo #papa copia #copia x reader #terzo x reader #primo x reader #secondo x reader #crack fic #crack headcanons #ghost bc crack #the band ghost #ghost x reader #ghost bc x reader

[duskymrel]

TWST characters as different people i've seen at school

yes most of this is slander

Riddle: The kid who treated being line leader as though he had just been elected President of the United States of America

Ace: Would stand up in class and shout "FOR KOBE" and throw a piece of paper at the trash bin. Would completely miss.

Cater: Filming a fucking TikTok dance in the middle of the school hallway during class transitions. Fucking MOVE, i got places to be. (I walk directly though their tiktok and ruin it)

Trey: That kid who's birthday you know by heart and eagerly await every year because he brings in the BEST desserts. The good kush.

Deuce: Says the stupidest shit in class unironically. Other guys are confused as to how this makes him more endearing but girls fawn all over him.

Azul: Passes by his crush (Jamil) in the hallway and thinks blud will stop and fall madly in love with him at first sight and will declare his love to Azul and it'll be something straight out of a teen girl movie. It ends up playing out exactly like this video: https://www.tiktok.com/@irljigsaw/video/7232906141385215274?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

Floyd: Kid who only likes Chemistry because he's crazy excited about mixing chemicals and setting things on fire. Anything he makes in a lab he loudly comments on how badly he want's to take a bit fat slurp/bite out of it. (it's me i do this)

Jade: One of the mushroom core girlies. Wears mushroom jewelry, has mushrooms patterns on his clothes, draws them for art class, draws them on his notebooks and binders. It's almost obnoxious but he's forgiven by everyone because he's hot.

Leona: Literally doesn't give a shit about school. Shows up in pajama bottom's and takes the fattest nap right in the middle of Geometry.

Jack: The only nice guy on the football team, girls LUST for him ❤

Ruggie: The only class this kid liked was free and reduced lunch (real)

Kalim: Guy who refuses to eat school food. He's probably got the right idea, that nacho cheese sauce probably causes cancer. Brings the most banger lunches and makes people jealous. (Lunchables, the GOOD fruit gummies, chips, a cookie, and a Caprisun.)

Jamil: In classes where you're not allowed to eat, he's the kid who sits in the back and makes a 9 course Gordan Ramsay approved gourmet meal.

Idia: This was so easy this guy was the anime weebo who wore anime merch every day and sometimes even wore anime wigs to school. He won't admit it but he would Naruto run through the halls in middle school.

Ortho: The cute little innocent babey schnookums who the girls all doted on. Hurt him and you'll get jumped by every girl in the student body. Fuck around and find out type shit.

Vil: Bozo who would literally paint their nails in class and would be doing their eyeliner while the teacher was trying to explain mRNA.

Epel: YEEHAW REDNECK KID. you know who i mean. the one who wears a hat with the American flag on it every day and whenever the teacher tells them to take it off they go on a rant about how unpatriotic the teacher is.

Rook: The only kid who actually liked French class. Tries to rizz people up in the hallway and asks for their Snap but always fails. Maidenless behavior.

Malleus: The tall quiet emo kid who slumps in his chair on his phone, with the bottom resting on his belly. He looks like he's listening to edgy emo music but it's actually tooth rotting cheesy pop music

Lilia: The manic pixie dream girl who will spew the most wise sage advice when asked.

Sebek: Literally one of those girls who's attached to her boyfriend like a parasite. You cannot separate her. Overly loyal and won't stfu. Is like a mix between a golden retriever and a chihuahua.

Silver: I swear on my life he's one of the kids who's been adopted by his entire friendgroup. People love him he's just a likeable person. He makes a new friend and BOOM they've adopted him. You're my son now, boy.

--------

@heartscrypt i thought specifically of you while writing Azuls

anyways all of these are people i've known i've got irl sources for this. no i won't apologize for all the slander because it's funny.

#twisted wonderland #twst funny #twst #twst dorm leaders #riddle rosehearts #malleus draconia #azul ashengrotto #vil shoenheit #kalim al asim #idia shroud #dusky writes #leona kingscholar #floyd leech #lilia vanrouge #disney twst #twst slander

[keysorsomething]

Can we get some more HCs abt Rodion? (He's my little pookie bear)

Also I love your writing sm 😭❤

Of course !! Rodion is the silliest :) A lot of these are car based cause I read this fic when I was first getting into the fandom and so I'm always reminded of it.

Request Page !!

Knows a lot about cars

Can name make/model/year off of a two second clip and expects you to know every one

Doesn't believe in rolled up windows

Unironically listens to Hard Bass

No one else wants to listen to Hard Bass with him

Can fall alseep anywhere

Had fallen asleep on all the Spetsnaz (including Sputnik) + Yegor

Yegor the most save this poor old man

Giggles

Builds computers in his free time and has like 20 of them

Cracked at Fallout

Has an absurd amount of hours in Fallout 4

Has called Dogmeat Sputnik on accident

His dream job is streaming

Expresses this dream by saying "When I grow up..."

You can and will hear evil giggling come from his game room multiple times a day

Nerodivergent man in a "oh no my infodumping got mistaken for mansplaining" way

Do NOT get caught by this dude in a car parts store

Tried to learn how American Football worked and started crying

Pretends he understands anyway

Googled Football teams and picked one for its mascot

He will buy literally anything that's branded cause he's trying to prove he's a good fan

Football team chapstick

Dating him ends in wearing at least one football jersey from a team that is probably not your hometeam

Maybe Vanilla notes in his cologne

Has destroyed a hoodie by soaking it in his cologe for you before

Nikto helped him bury it in the middle of nowhere

There is a cologne-soaked hoodie buried six feet under some where in the Steppe

#call of duty #cod mw2019 #rodion cod #nikodim rodion egorov #rodion x reader #keys.headcanons

[neverlearnedtoread]

Uprooted

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐; my favourite kind of fantasy - classic fairytale with a side of 'dont worry about the details' and 'you gotta believe in the heart of the cards!'

Oh?? 👌😉😏

a really sharp, quick-witted, and willful female protagonist going 'fuck it!' every few chapters or so and doing something crazy (crazy fun) to drive the plot forward, off a new exciting cliff

a soft magic system that really shows off in the best light what makes soft magic systems so valid. its all about the metaphors!! you have to measure the chocolate chips with your heart!!!

nature is so magical and beautiful and deadly. specifically if you treat trees bad they will form a sentient vengeful forest to raze your civilization to the ground and salt the earth with your bodies

kasia. i love an atomic blonde unkillable bad bitch with the strongest queerplatonic vibes with her best friend from birth

a CLASSIC grumpy 'beastly' male love interest. he seals himself away in a lonely tower, makes girls hang out with him for 10 years at a time, and unironically calls himself 'the Dragon'. he even has the audacity to be offended that everyone thinks he's creepy!!!!!!

No.. ❌🤢🤮

if you like having explanations for how magic works and any semblance of a hard magic system in your fantasy, put this book back. 'round here we operate on Vibes Only, babey!!

similarly, if your love language is words of affirmation and/or you think that fanfic-style romance plotlines should stay in fanfic, this romance is Not For You. this is not a judgment, only a warning

Summary: Agnieszka loves her home in her little village in the valley - you know, except for the evil forest simply known as the Wood that's been around as long as there have been people in the valley, with terrible creatures and sentient walking trees. And the century-old wizard known only as 'the Dragon' living in the tower overlooking their land, who takes a young woman every ten years to serve him. But what Agnieszka dreads the most is that her best friend, Kasia, will be chosen next, and that Agnieszka is helpless to save her. Until the day of the choosing, when the Dragon picks Agnieszka instead.

Concept: 💭💭💭💭 I've never gotten along that well with a book blurb, but this one does its damn job - gives me enough plot premise to get me interested without giving it all away, and doesn't make me feel like I've been lied to once I start the book! some stories really don't do what they say on the tin, or take ages to get there at all, but Uprooted starts off exactly at the spot the blurb said it would - with a girl, in a valley, scared of a terrible wizard, about to be whisked away to a tower.

Execution: 💥💥💥💥💥 This story is EXACTLY what it says it wants to be, down to the cadence of the prose - a Polish folklore-inspired fairytale. The rhythm of Novik's narration even fits right - one day I'll get the audiobook for this and get to hear it the way I read it in my head, like a grandmother's bedtime story with twists and eddies and crescendos at the all the right bits. I was in love with the aesthetic of every character, they fit perfectly into the backdrop of what this story was.

Personal Enjoyment: ❤❤❤❤❤ This book aligns to my tastes much the same way An Enchantment of Ravens does, and shares of lot of the same elements without ever feeling derivative - smart girl meets magic boy, causes all kinds of irreversible political upheaval, and lives happily ever after being just as they are - a Girl with The Audacity. its a tale as old as time, and i'll hear it told just as often

Favourite Moment: you know its a good book when you really can't choose a favourite moment - one that comes to mind is agniezska choosing to save sarkan from being grafted onto the heart-tree in the Wood instead of setting fire to it. the 'fuck it!' energy agniezska brings to her moments of crisis is SO good, plus the motif of her always reaching out to sarkan to cast magic together - 'hey real quick, cast a spell with me while you're being pulled into an evil magic tree trying to twist your magic and life force against us. couldn't hurt, eh?' and then it WORKS

Favourite Character: now yall know i love a sarkan-esque character - pathetic wet cat men who are so offended by their own squishy feelings are a great time! and kasia is SO bad bitch extraordinaire, her and agnieszka's love for each other literally makes the plot go - every time, every time without hesitation she puts herself as the last thing standing between agnieszka and the Wood. but agniezska herself is really Something. the way she uses magic, her connection with nature and her refusal to be anything else than what she is - a grubby young woman who wields kindness as her weapon against the world, who holds onto her humanity with both hands and teeth - she shapes this fairytale to be the story she wants it to be, one of connection and empathy. and im still thinking about her introducing the lord of the whole valley to her mother 🤣 power move!!

#uprooted #naomi novik #books #book review #booklover #bookblr #reading #sarkan's refusal to bind himself to the valley is SO. one day agnieszka will stop for breath mid-bickering and really come to grips with #unpacking why he was so unokay with tying himself to the land. an orphan with incredible magical ability growing up surrounded by #power-hungry nobles? yeah that guy has trust and commitment issues. need agnieszka to fuck that out of him #i mean OF COURSE teach him that the valley is a home and not a cage (that no one will ever force him to stay not even her #that he can come and go as he pleases and still be theirs) and its ok to be tied to the people that love you and vice versa etc etc etc. #but also like. he deserves to be dommed into feeling safe enough to put down roots. as a treat. #anyway kasia x agnieszka x sarkan throuple with agnieszka as the homing beacon and kasia + sarkan as the migrating birds always circling #always knowing the way back home

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #22

22. MOLDOVA Natalia Barbu - "In The Middle" 31st place

Decade Ranking: 78/153 [Above Anxela, below La Zarra]

Inconsistency strikes again! Let's talk about Moldova.

I'll be honest - "In the middle" lives up to it's title. It's so... mid? mid as in "mediocre", not "median". It's uninspired generic ethnopulp, a massive downgrade from "Fight".

And yet, it's always been a notionally funny entry for me. It started at the NF, where Natalia beat Valeria Pasha and the two IMMEDIATELY entered an embittered, catty fued (the type you'd see on Big Brother between the first and second boot), where Valeria, who had won the televote, accused Natalia of bribing the juries and the TV station to declare the tiebreaker in her favour.

And then TVM came with these receipts:

ACCUSING NATALIA OF CHEATING WHILE SHE WAS CHEATING HERSELF ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Additionally, "In the Middle"'s chorus -the lyrics are otherwise 90% jibbertalk disguised as English- read like a Japanese water demon commanding her children into contentment. Oh to hear these sweet words be performed with barely restrained menace.

I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY ALL OF YOUR LIFE 👹👹👹 MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL MY WORK OF ART 👹👹👹

YOU WILL BE HAPPY DAMMIT!!! YOU WILL BE OR ELSE I BRING OUT THE BAT WITH THE NAIL IN IT!!!

Other than that, :crickets: I had nothing to give Natalia, and she gave nothing to me other than the hope she wouldn't get into the way of Raiven's qualification.

But then she showed up in Malmö making FACES AND GESTURES, and it was SENDING ME.

and then she proceeded to be swallowed up by an LED backdrop, the pure unfiltered distraction of PRETTY COLOURS, VOTE FOR ME!!!

(except for the wings they were HIDEOUS)

It was fairly emblematic of Natalia's psyche and attitude towards the song - she genuinely thought she had something good on her hands ♥ DELUSIONAL CRAZY BITCH ♥

Fortunately the ONLY way this entry works as an enjoyable piece is if you see it as a crazy lady doing weird smarmy things on the stage against a cute-creepy backdrop, and that ticks it off as "Good Filler" to me. It's tame for Moldovan standards but, yeah I could dig it ironically, and even unironically sure. She needed to NQ and she did, so no complaints from me.

Once she NQ'd Natalia showed her TRUE Oni colours by ranting about HOW THIS CONTEST IS NOT ABOUT SONGS, IT IS POLITICAL, and provided her elimination as evidence. This ofc... makes her even more of an ironic fave :GASP: bet ur shocked. Like the zionists that posted splitscreens of Eden and Bambie capped "has there ever been a more obvious showcase of Good vs Evil?", she was technically correct and yet so deeply mistaken due to a complete LACK of selfawareness. ♥

In Natalia's mind she was robbed because she wasn't A NUDIST OR A DEMON.

In reality, she died because her song was irredeemably hopeless and she tried to patch it up with expensive LEDs ♥ She died *because* she attempted to divert attention away from her song while competing in a song contest and wasn't in a position to be carried by her flag ♥ RIP my sweet unselfaware delusional queen ♥

THE RANKING

#eurovision #eurovision song contest #borisbubbles #esc #Eurovision 2024 #ESC 2024 #Moldova #Natalia Barbu #In the middle #Youtube

[forestteacup]

Challenge - What They'd Shit Buy to Heckle Their Better Half

Instructions are from the original post here by @empressofmankind! Thanks for tagging me, this was fun! I kinda bent Steps 3 and 4 😅

Step 1: Go to one of those general stores that has a little bit of everything (or go to multiple stores if you like, I do, but I live in a walkable city centre).

Step 2: Think of one of your current favourite ships.

Step 3: Pretend to be one of the ship's characters

Step 4: Photograph 5 items they would shit buy to heckle their better half

Step 5: Post it and tag me! And tag new peeps!

Here's mine for Shuggy!

Shanks sending this to Buggy (the tiny Red Hair 🥺) even though they're very Divorced. Of course, Shanks congratulates himself instead of Buggy 🤣 He sends this in July instead of February just to mess with him

I think Shanks would be the sentimental kind of person to send random "saw this and thought of you haha ❤" things and it's just their colours. Them being kitchen items is entirely unplanned

Buggy exasperatedly learns how to cook increasingly complicated recipes so he doesn't waste all the random kitchen items Shanks sends him, to the shock of his cook, who suggests that he just throw it all away (to which Buggy gives him the Glare of Death - he refuses to throw away Shanks' gifts, no matter how useless they are, but he can't just say that)

(Bonus: Buggy sends this to Shanks as a joke because he's so loyal and overprotective and affectionate like a dog

But to Buggy's horror Shanks loves it since it's so cozy, so he puts it in his room and sends this unironically to Buggy:

which makes Buggy turn as red as his nose as he tries to hide it from his crew but Alvida sees it and gives him the most bombastic side eye 👀 because she just Knows)

Writers, tag your fellow writers! @authorgirl1111

#shuggy #shanks #buggy #one piece #challenge #writing #lol #alvida