#u would not believe the spring ive had

[evieismol]

Chapter 4 of the gt park ranger story

Back from an unintentional hiatus as I got really busy with classes and work and then ~my life fell apart~...my sincere apologies I'm going to finish this now lol. Also desperately needs a name, if anyone has any suggests please feel free to lemme know lol

warnings: n/a

word count: 1525

Previous Chapter

Dave was already awake when his alarm went off. He’d slept restlessly all night, tossing and turning for hours before resigning himself to staring up at the ceiling as the sun rose. Today was the day that he was supposed to go work with John and Easton. When the shrill screech of his alarm went off, it felt more like a bad omen than a wake up call. He reluctantly slid out of bed. His concerns over the upcoming shift didn’t fade as he got ready, and at one point he found himself seriously considering calling in. He shook his head, hoping to clear the thoughts from his mind. That was dramatic, he told himself. He’d agreed to work with Easton. And all calling in sick would do was delay the inevitable anyways.

Truth be told, he hadn’t expected this much of an emotional reaction upon finally seeing another Aphirial. He’d spent so long trying to push memories of his past away that he’d tricked himself into thinking it worked. That the past was some cold, dead series of events. Not something apparently warm enough to still burn. 

Dave finished buttoning his shirt, took a deep breath, and headed outside. John was leaning against the employee housing wall when he stepped outside. 

“Morning. Sleep well?” John asked. 

“Well enough,” Dave said. “So, what exactly are we up to today?”

“A tour of the park,” John replied. “I’ve only been here once, actually.”

“And I would guess it’s safe to assume Easton hasn’t ever,” Dave said. John nodded. Dave continued. “Well, I’m not sure how good of a tour guide I’ll be.”

John shrugged. “I think the goal is more team-bonding.”

“Right,” Dave replied. 

“Speaking of the team, we’re going to meet Easton, go over basics, and then head out,” John said. He gestured down the path before taking off in the same direction. Dave followed him, giving the employee housing building a quick glance back as anxiety built in his chest. Is it too late to fake being sick?

To say Easton’s place was huge would be an understatement. It wasn’t a surprise given his own size, but Dave still found himself staring up at the trailer in awe. If it was human-sized, it wouldn’t have been anything notable. Probably small camper sized. Big enough for a bed, maybe a modified kitchen and a half bath. It had a distinctly angular, somehow foreign feel to it, and Dave guessed that the trailer had come from Easton’s own realm as opposed to being built here. Though, that would have been a good guess even without the odd architecture, as Dave guessed building something of this scale would be a struggle for a human construction crew. John led him to the base of the structure, where a human-sized door sat to the side of some much larger steps. 

John typed something into the keypad outside the door, and it slid open to reveal a modern looking elevator. 

“Rangers first,” John said jokingly. Dave stepped into the elevator, the IMA agent close behind him. 

“I don’t know why this,” Dave gestured to the elevator. “Is a surprise to me. I mean, makes more sense to have a human-sized elevator than try to scale those steps. I guess I hadn’t really given it any thought.”

John gave a short chuckle. “It’s our best attempt at accomodating both sizes. There’s a series of pathways - human-sized pathways, that is - around the inside, so we can get around fairly easily. And this elevator takes us to the various levels on the pathways.”

“Like hamster tunnels,” Dave mused. John gave him an odd look but didn’t say anything. Instead, he pushed one of the buttons in the elevator, and they began to go up. The ride didn’t feel like it took too long, despite Dave guessing they’d gone up at least a few hundred feet. There was a ding, and the doors behind them rolled open. Dave found himself frozen as he took in what was before them. 

As he’d guessed, the interior of the trailer wouldn’t have been notable if it had been human-sized. It had the same sleekly modern feel the outside did, from the polished white table directly in front of them to the circular, metal-framed windows across the room. What stopped Dave in his tracks, though, was the scale. It felt like staring up at a mountain, or into the sea on a dark night. The feeling of being incredibly, wholly, insignificant. Easton’s presence only further exemplified that. In a room to his scale, it no longer seemed like he was the odd one out - Dave found himself feeling more like he was abnormally small instead of Easton being huge. 

Easton broke into a soft, close-lipped smile when he saw them. 

“Good morning!” John greeted him. “So, you both feeling ready?” 

Dave nodded. 

“Yeah,” Easton seconded. 

“Alright. Now, I’m sure Gus and Dan will go over actual, y’know, ranger stuff. I only oversee the whole Aphiria-Earth liasion bit, and I won’t be meaning to step on any toes this summer. Just wanted to get that out of the way,” John said. “We were going to head over to the eastern part of the park, look around, and then I believe you’ll be meeting Dan later this afternoon. Basically, we’re just trying to get to know each other this morning.” 

“Sounds good,” Dave said. He found his gaze drifting over to Easton again, and wondered what exactly he could even do in the park. Probably plenty, actually, he realized after a moment. Easton was gigantic compared to humans, but not ridiculously so compared to natural features. Dave would bet the Rio Grande river alone was wider in parts than Easton was tall. He’d probably be able to help with upkeep, trail maintenance, and so on. And then, of course, the angle Dave suspected the Park Service (and by extension U.S. Government) was most interested in, which was income from tourists. Several public facing nonhumans had been hugely well-received in recent years. People tended to flock to the strange, unusual, and even scary. 

He recalled hearing about both a giant (of the smaller variety) and a vampire on Broadway recently. Both were met with wide praise and rocketing attendance numbers of their respective shows. There was even a whole niche of non-human micro influencers, something he’s discovered on one of his endless TikTok scrolls. The park service may not be as flashy as either of those examples, but justifying budgets did at least in some part depend on getting people to visit. 

“Well, we should probably get going, then,” John finished. Dave realized he’d zoned out, entirely missing part of what John had said. He hoped it wasn’t anything important. 

“So, we have a car outside. Two options, we could meet Easton there, or he could carry us,” John said to Dave. 

“We can meet him there,” Dave said quickly. If Easton was offended at the speed of his rejection, he didn’t show it, instead simply nodding. He and John headed back to the elevator, exiting in the same way they’d came. John led him to a truck parked nearby, motioning for him to climb in. He handed him an earpiece.

“So we can communicate with Easton easily, without having to yell out the window or something,” John explained. Dave nodded. 

Easton appeared a few moments later, and Dave felt his stomach turn again as he looked out the truck window up at the giant. He’d at least been eye-level with Easton during previous meetings. Now, though, the truck barely came up to Easton’s ankles, and Dave couldn’t help but think how easily Easton could step on them without so much as a second thought. Easton crouched down, his attempt to be closer to them doing little to close the gap in their size difference. Dave noticed he was also wearing an earpiece. 

“Does following us work?” John asked. Easton nodded. 

“Great. Just make sure to stay a few car lengths away when you’re walking okay?” 

“Of course,” Easton said. He was true to his word the entire trip, as the buildings faded away into the distance before finally being obscured around a bend. He also didn’t take his eyes off the ground the entire time, gaze carefully checking each step. That put Dave at ease a little. 

The truck pulled into a parking spot in a dirt parking lot. Dave wasn’t sure exactly where there were, beyond one of the more remote parts of the park. Sensible, if John didn’t want to draw a group with Easton just yet. Speaking of Easton, Dave noticed him hang back on the outside of the parking lot. John climbed out of the car. Dave was close behind, and he looked around at there surroundings. The Chisos mountains painted the backdrop in the distance, and trees cast shade over the parking lot. 

“Beautiful day out!” John said. “We’re going to head to the canyon down there. We have an approximate idea of where Easton can fit easily, but consider this our official mapping.” This was going to be a long day, Dave thought.

Next Chapter

#gt story #sfw gt #g/t #sfw g/t #gt #gt writing #g/t writing #giant/tiny #u would not believe the spring ive had #hiding this ramble in the tags hopefully its amusing to anyone who sees it #i was supposed to be at a certain park but it is UNDER WATER #i stg if the sierras flood or something in august im gonna lose it pls i just want to stare at rocks

[goosita]

first of all i love you. really. everything that you're writing is making my life so much better, so thank u <3 if that's okay for u, could you write something where reader is a single mom, she has a little girl and her daughter is very attached to billy? and it's the most sweetest thing ever cause billy loves her, calls her little princess (very sweet tooth 😭) one night, her daughter asks billy to read a storie for her to sleep and he does so and in the end, she says something like "i wish you were my dad" and it's just so cute and funny cause she gagged everyone, reader is like "babe!!!!" while billy is in shock but at the same time his heart is melting 🥺🥺 (sorry if this is too much, just write if u want!)

oh im. gonna cry and sob and piss everywhere this is the sweetest softest thing ive ever read yes oh my god

billy would be so so sweet with your daughter, especially if she was around 4-6 years old. at first you were worried that a man like him wouldn’t want anything to do with a single mother, especially one as young as you. but he never asked you to explain, and never judged you for it. all he ever did was treat you like a queen, and your daughter like a princess.

and your little girl is just enamored with him. she follows after him like a little duckling, so much so that billy starts to call her “ducky”. it makes her giggle every single time, always makes billy smile all warm and fond. they get on like a house on fire, your man and your baby girl. billy teaches her things like how to ride a horse, how to tie all kinds of knots, how to rope a little goat even. your daughter tells you one evening, her little face very serious, that she thinks “billy knows everything, mama. everything!” you want to let her believe it for as long as possible.

on this particular day, all 3 of you had spent the day together. billy had showed up bright and early to take you for a picnic out in a meadow behind your house, a daylong excursion that lasted until the sun slowly set. it was late spring, cicadas beginning to sing in the tall grass. once it got dark outside, billy pulled out a jar and showed your daughter how to catch fireflies. once they had about 10 of them, they sat on the blankets with their heads ducked together to observe them, giving each one a unique name.

“let’s call this one tommy,” she says, pointing at a bug near the bottom.

“perfect name, ducky. how’d you get so good at this?”

your little girl giggles, shrugging and letting billy name the next one. it makes your heart so happy to see a man with so much patience and love for your daughter.

when you finally return to the house, it’s time to get your kid ready for bed. tired and pliant from her long day outside catching bugs and weaving flower crowns (that of course billy taught her how to do), she goes down without much of a fight. she does ask billy to stay and tell her a bedtime story, though, and he’s never been one to deny that sweet little face whatever she wants.

you half-listen as billy spins some wild tale about a princess who slay dragons herself, one who doesn’t need a prince to come and rescue her. she’s strong and brave and guess what? she looks just like your little girl, same hair color and little lilac colored dress. his story makes her smile, even as her sleepy eyes begin to blink more slowly. when he finishes, he leans down to kiss her forehead softly and tuck her blanket around her small little body.

“i wish you were my daddy,” she murmurs sleepily, rubbing her eye with one small fist. you see billy freeze and slowly look to you, unsure what to say.

“oh, baby—“ you start, taking a step forward. billy gently cuts you off, which you welcome, not sure what to tell her.

“you know, ducky, sometimes i wish that too,” he whisper conspiratorially. her eyes light up curiously.

“really?” she asks, looking up at him.

“mhm,” he says with a nod. “but i think this little thing we have going here is even more special. you know why?”

she waits for an answer, eyes full of curiosity and wonder at the man sitting on the edge of her bed.

“because i didn’t help to give you life, life gave you and me to each other. and that’s pretty special, don’t you think?”

your little girl smiles, nodding her head. you swallow hard, your eyes feeling a little misty at the way he loves your baby and she loves him. it’s so pure, so unconditional the way they’ve attached themselves to each other.

billy smiles at her and brushes her hair away from her face, giving her chubby cheek a soft caress.

“sweet dreams, baby girl.”

“goodnight billy,” she says with a little yawn, snuggling down into her pillow. billy blows out the oil lamp beside her bed, following you out of her bedroom and closing the door softly.

“i’m sorry if i overstepped, i didn—“ he’s cut off by you grabbing his face and pulling him down into a dizzying kiss. you smile against his mouth when he doesn’t hesitate for even a second to kiss you back, his arms winding around your waist to pull you closer.

“thank you,” you whisper when you finally break away for air. “for loving both of us, for taking care of us.”

“sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me for that. i’ll always be here to take care of my two best girls,” he says with a grin, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear. “and who knows? maybe one day soon you’ll let me put a ring on that pretty little finger and that little girl in there can call me whatever she wants.”

#oh im sobbing this is so sweet #lowkey i wanna make a series now of little moments with billy and reader’s little girl #anon #billy the kid #billy the kid x reader #billy the kid x you #tom blyth #tom blyth x reader

[ankhisms]

also that guy i was talking about in the tags was also the same guy i think ive mentioned here who was SCANDALIZED when me and another castmate mentioned pirating a movie to watch it and we tried to explain to him that the cast and crew werent getting much residuals at all because the industry sucks (this was months before the current strike began even) and that everyone involved had been paid and that paying for the streaming was just giving money to greedy corporations but he would not listen and was just like BUT YOU GUYS ARE ARTISTS I CANT BELIEVE YOU DONT WANNA SUPPORT OTHER ARTISTS and me and my other castmate were just side eyeing each other like are u seeing this shit. also he was so weird about anyone sweating or even having slight body odor, everyone wore deoderant for the show but when youre doing a 3 hour long play in a very warm theater under very warm stagelights in hot costumes during a warm period of late spring people are gonna sweat. theyre gonna smell no matter how much deoderant you put on. if youve been in theater before you know this. but his attitude about it was so weird combined with the obsession with skin care products it was just like. dude youre acting like you want to eliminate any kind of thing you deen an imperfection in the human body. idk it was just very weird.

[grasslandgirl]

🤩🤲🎉

kisses tysm forever dear casey <333

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

that so truly depends on what is Inside my brain at the moment lmao but leah dna is forever a dear and special comfort character i fall back into writing for when im working against a block !! also fig and gorgug but that's just bc ive written So Much of them the last year and a half ksjfvnksfj

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

anything for u dear casey ill try and grab smth you havent already read skfjvnksjfb sorry

 Riz suddenly felt incredibly alone. For the first time in years, he didn’t have a clear plan. He didn’t have any next steps in front of him. He didn’t know where to go, what to do. He didn’t know who he was without the determination to find his father driving him forward. He was cut loose and unmoored, caught in a current he didn’t know the route of.

And still, he missed his father. 

Grief wasn’t something that went away easily or quietly; even if the subject of your grief was stood in front of you, alive and whole. It was a habit, it was something that grew into your bones and marrow; not a coat you could shuck off easily with the coming warmth of spring. Riz had been quietly, unwantingly, mourning his father for years. He refused to believe he could be dead, even after so long, but the people around him grieved for Pok, and it was contagious. Riz clung onto hope with brittle fingers, but no matter how tightly he held on, there was always some part of him that doubted he’d ever see his father again. Some angry, jaded part of himself that was sure that all he’d find of Pok Gukgak in the kingdom of Highcrest was a set of rotting bones. He was determined to go anyway, of finding whatever remained of his father; if only for the answers he’d finally be able to tuck away in his mind and bandage the rough wound that his father’s unknown fate had made inside him.

[hehehe riz ch17 of noble pining <3]

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

my friends comment on it saying smth along the lines of "OUGHOGUGHGH BESTIE YOURE DERANGED FOR THIS IM GONNA KILL YOU IM DYING" about it honestly. the more of that response i get from my dearly beloved friends and mutuals, the better the fic does imo sfkvjnfsb

send me fic writer asks from this emoji list !!

#asks #kisses kisses casey i love uuu #noble pining au

[agentrouka-blog]

If u dont believe in rl love story them how did he and his friends founds her specifically in the right time if they weren’t corresponding each other or whatever the right word to use if they don’t love each other’s and didn’t agree on leaving together 🤔 also the last time I checked wasn’t everyone know about RL leaving together and didn’t raise a fuss not until brandon come and ruined everyone mood?

How did Ramsay Snow know that Lady Hornwood was travelling home at that precise time in a small company? Were they secretly in love? Did Lady Hornwood write him to make sure they would meet?

Also, if "love" is mentioned it is only ever that supposedly felt by Rhaegar for Lyanna. Not so differently from that by Robert for Lyanna. Love, really?

Also, I do not think anyone "knows" that they "left together".

With the coming of the new year, the crown prince had taken to the road with half a dozen of his closest friends and confidants, on a journey that would ultimately lead him back to the riverlands. Not ten leagues from Harrenhal, Rhaegar fell upon Lyanna Stark of Winterfell, and carried her off, lighting a fire that would consume his house and kin and all those he loved—and half the realm besides.

(The World of Ice and Fire - The Fall of the Dragons: The Year of the False Spring)

That's a very clear way of putting it.

What followed Prince Rhaegar's infamous abduction of Lyanna Stark was the ruin of House Targaryen. The full depth of King Aerys's madness was subsequently revealed in his depraved actions against Lord Stark, his heir, and their supporters after they demanded redress for Rhaegar's wrongs. Instead of granting them fair hearing, King Aerys had them brutally slain, then followed these murders by demanding that Lord Jon Arryn execute his former wards, Robert Baratheon and Eddard Stark.

(The World of Ice and Fire - The Fall of the Dragons: Robert’s Rebellion)

The word "abduction" is very clear. And if Lyanna's voluntary participation was known to people, would they not address the general return of their daughter instead of simply "Rhaegar's wrongs"?

When the Stark line was nearly obliterated by Mad King Aerys after Rhaegar's abduction of Lyanna, some misguided men laid the blame at the feet of the late Lord Rickard, whose alliances by blood and friendship tied the great houses together and ensured that they would act together in response to the Mad King's crimes.

(The World of Ice and Fire - The North: The Lords of Winterfell)

Again with the term "abduction".

"He was on his way to Riverrun when . . ." Strange, how telling it still made her throat grow tight, after all these years. ". . . when he heard about Lyanna, and went to King's Landing instead. It was a rash thing to do." She remembered how her own father had raged when the news had been brought to Riverrun. The gallant fool, was what he called Brandon. (ACOK, Catelyn VII)

If everyone knew that they voluntarily left together, would even a hot head like Brandon have ridden straight to KL to scream for Rhaegar's head?

"But that was the tourney when he crowned Lyanna Stark as queen of love and beauty!" said Dany. "Princess Elia was there, his wife, and yet my brother gave the crown to the Stark girl, and later stole her away from her betrothed. How could he do that? Did the Dornish woman treat him so ill?" (ASOS, Daenerys IV)

Even the most biased-toward-love perspective of Daenerys considers what he did to be a "stealing", as opposed to a secretly planned mutually executed plan.

And while we're at it....

How beautiful, the queen tried to tell herself, but inside her was some foolish little girl who could not help but look about for Daario. If he loved you, he would come and carry you off at swordpoint, as Rhaegar carried off his northern girl, the girl in her insisted, but the queen knew that was folly. Even if her captain was mad enough to attempt it, the Brazen Beasts would cut him down before he got within a hundred yards of her. (ADWD, Daenerys VII)

...has an interesting textual parallel to Lady Hornwood.

The old knight was off east, trying to set to rights the trouble there. Roose Bolton's bastard had started it by seizing Lady Hornwood as she returned from the harvest feast, marrying her that very night even though he was young enough to be her son. (ACOK, Bran IV)

How did that happen?

They came too late for poor Lady Hornwood, though. After their wedding, the Bastard had locked her in a tower and neglected to feed her. Bran had heard men saying that when Ser Rodrik had smashed down the door he found her with her mouth all bloody and her fingers chewed off.

"The monster has tied us a thorny knot," the old knight told Maester Luwin. "Like it or no, Lady Hornwood was his wife. He made her say the vows before both septon and heart tree, and bedded her that very night before witnesses. She signed a will naming him as heir and fixed her seal to it."

"Vows made at sword point are not valid," the maester argued. (ACOK, Bran V)

Carried off at swordpoint. Vows made at swordpoint. Reminds me of one more young woman in a tower.

"Your Grace," he said, "captive or no, if you think you can just give Val to me, I fear you have a deal to learn about wildling women. Whoever weds her had best be prepared to climb in her tower window and carry her off at swordpoint . . ." (ASOS, Jon XI)

Val's tower...

"Freedom of the castle you shall have, but I regret to say you must remain a captive. I can promise that you will not be troubled by unwanted visitors, however. My own men guard Hardin's Tower, not the queen's. And Wun Wun sleeps in the entry hall."

"A giant as protector? Even Dalla could not boast of that." (ADWD, Jon XI)

And sure enough some villain tries...

Queen Selyse sniffed again. "Four marriages can be made as simply as three. It is past time that this woman Val was settled, Lord Snow. I have decided that she shall wed my good and leal knight, Ser Patrek of King's Mountain."

"Has Val been told, Your Grace?" asked Jon. "Amongst the free folk, when a man desires a woman, he steals her, and thus proves his strength, his cunning, and his courage. The suitor risks a savage beating if he is caught by the woman's kin, and worse than that if she herself finds him unworthy."

"A savage custom," Axell Florent said.

Ser Patrek only chuckled. "No man has ever had cause to question my courage. No woman ever will." (...)

Then he heard the shouting … and a roar so loud it seemed to shake the Wall. “That come from Hardin’s Tower, m’lord,” Horse reported. He might have said more, but the scream cut him off.

Val, was Jon’s first thought. But that was no woman’s scream. That is a man in mortal agony. (...)

The dead man was Ser Patrek of King’s Mountain; his head was largely gone, but his heraldry was as distinctive as his face. (ADWD, Jon XIII)

Guess stealing at sword point is usually NOT done with the consent of its object, no matter what Dany imagines, who is facing her own unwelcome (though not forced) marriage.

I bet Lyanna and Lady Hornwood would have liked the protection of a Wun Wun when they were out riding.

#anti rhaegar targaryen #anti rhaegar x lyanna #parallels #donella hornwood #ramsay bolton #lyanna stark #val the wildling #ser patrek of king's mountain #forced marriage #bride stealing #abduction

[kookingtae]

falling into you (pt. 8) PREVIEW

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7

→scenario: Jungkook’s innocence is like a breath of fresh air in your wild life, and though you know you’re toxic for him, you just can’t seem to stay away.

→genre: college au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd jk + bad girl oc (mature themes)

→a/n: so i’m not finished with pt 8 yet, since it’s such a climactic chapter it’s taking a bit longer than i anticipated unfortunately BUT i dont want u guys to think ive forgotten about it!!! i know u all are waiting so patiently, and i cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart <3 i hope this preview keeps you excited for what’s to come!

Jungkook could never face Y/N again.

God, how could he, knowing that he’d not only finished in five minutes like a pubescent teenager, but also in his pants while she was on top of him?

Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe the mortification he felt. He’d never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as much as he did in that moment. Sure, he was aware of his slight social anxiety, the way he was constantly looking to bolt from uncomfortable situations—but this was different entirely. This was new territory for him; he’d never done anything remotely sexual with someone else, period, much less with the girl who hung the stars, moon, and sun in his eyes. What was he supposed to do? There was nowhere to escape to in his own bedroom, no running away from his problems that made him uncomfortable. No, he had to stand there with his head down and his crotch dripping wet while he practically begged her to leave. He had never been so ashamed of himself. He had never felt so pathetic.

But then Y/N surprised him like she never failed to do: she’d given him reassurance, another kiss even, while telling him that she actually enjoyed the experience—went so far as to say it was the best in her life. Now he knew she was lying to spare his feelings. Of all the men Y/N had been with, there was no way a virgin cumming untouched in his pants was the best of them. She was cruel to make him believe otherwise, to give him false hope.

He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently. He couldn’t allow himself to get hurt.

Which was why he made it his mission to avoid her at all costs—something he’d gotten very good at over the past few months, and the past few weeks, specifically.

But in the same way he’d learned from the patterns of her daily routine and used them as a means to remain hidden, she’d also learned his and utilized them to her advantage as well. It was the only explanation as to how he was turning a corner inside the art building (about to take the rear exit, since she usually waited for him out front) and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.

He instantly skidded to a halt, heart rate shooting to astronomical levels and eyes widening on their own accord. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out involuntarily, the sight of her causing every single detail of their time spent together to come rushing back to him like a tidal wave ready to wipe him out.

As if he needed another excuse to think about the moment they shared that had changed him forever, about the way her moans sounded in his ear and her body felt on his lap and the way she touched his cheek, his neck, the way her lips felt on his skin, god help him—

Already he could feel the beginnings of a blush start to rise to his suddenly hot cheeks, and he cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other to keep from springing yet another boner in front of her.

He slid his books in front of his waist, just in case.

While she usually approached him with the natural ease of self-confidence and charm, today she seemed worried, unsure. She chewed at her lower lip—something he didn’t think she really ever did, as he would certainly remember the way it stirred within him—and looked up at him beneath delicate lashes that framed her eyes.

He didn’t have it in him to keep from outright staring at her beauty.

“I… I missed you,” she finally murmured, and he felt the breath physically whoosh from his lungs to join his butterfly-filled stomach all the way at the floor.

It had been a few days since he’d last seen her, since she’d been in his room that night where they opened up about their past and confessed how they truly felt about one another and shared the most life-altering moment he’d ever experienced. He missed her too, god he missed her. He missed everything about her the moment she left his side—would picture her face in his mind as soon as she left his field of vision. But for some reason unknown to him, she was too kind to him, spared his feelings despite knowing what little experience he had. There was no way he’d be able to satisfy a girl—mentally, physically, emotionally—who could have anyone she wanted. Perhaps she pitied him. Either way, if she wouldn’t put a stop to it, then he would.

Or so he’d try, but alas, nothing ever went according to his plans where Y/N was concerned. And here she was, three simple words mumbled into existence and he couldn’t even remember his own name, much less why he’d been trying to fight this.

She seemed to expect he would say nothing—either that or she’d grown used to his silence—because before he had enough sense in him to even think about responding, she was speaking again. “How have you been?”

The question was asked with deliberate, genuine curiosity and concern; she really wanted to know if he was okay, how he was handling things after what had transpired between them. And no matter how hard Jungkook tried to fight this, fight her, fight himself, he was only human.

And so he stopped fighting.

“I– I missed you too,” he breathed out, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and relocated to his gut. He tensed at his confession, mentally berated himself for his words even though she’d been the one to say them first. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what with the way his throat locked up.

Though the second he witnessed the smile that sprang to her tantalizing lips, he felt as light as a feather floating in the breeze.

“You did?” Her eyes lit up, sparkled under the fluorescent hallway lights that still managed to capture all of her beauty despite the unflattering lighting. He didn’t think it was possible for any scenery, not even that of a dull and stuffy university building, to make her appear any less breathtaking than she always was.

“I was so worried after I left last week,” she continued without prompt. The mention of his premature finish had him stiffening in dread, though she didn’t let enough silence fester between her words for the anxiety to claw its way up his throat. “I didn’t want you to beat yourself up. I’ve noticed you tend to be too hard on yourself sometimes.” She glanced up at him with the hint of a sheepish grin dancing on her lips.

Her expression said it all: that’s an understatement.

And this shocked him to his core, because she was absolutely right.

Just how well had she gotten to know him in their time spent together over the last few months? And how? And why?

The last question would always boggle him until the end of time; he would never understand why she was interested in him. Why was he the one she had feelings for, when she claimed she never had feelings for anybody? Though he supposed he could ask himself the same thing: why did he feel things for Y/N that he had never felt for anyone else in his life? And the answer was quite simple, really: because it was her.

He didn’t know what about himself was so special to make him stand out in her mind, and as a result he still couldn’t help but be skeptical, even after her confession. But it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter on what to do with that skepticism—not when his heart kept leading him back to her.

At some point after her accurate description of the inner turmoil that’s been plaguing his mind, his mouth had fallen open slightly. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his face even if he tried; he was speechless.

Y/N gazed up at him, not seeming in any hurry to rush the conversation along, and for that he was grateful. He’d never met somebody so patient and understanding before—just another reason to make Jungkook’s heart flutter with endearment. And it was no secret to himself anymore that he yearned to be in Y/N’s presence for as long as possible whether he was aware of it or not.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know,” she continued as if she could read his mind, and that was when he realized the way his eyes avoided hers and the fact that his skin was the color of tomatoes must’ve been dead giveaways. “I meant it when I said that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Jungkook balked, practically choking on his spit at her forward, shameless words. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way she spoke her mind so openly without any fear holding her back. She’d gone through so much in her childhood, in her life—Jungkook not even knowing the half of it, he’s sure—and yet she was still so strong and brave and everything he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but admire the person she was today, despite all the prejudice and judgment he’d held for her when they first met.

He realized now that he was too quick to judge her, to write her off based on rumors and first impressions. He realized now that he was too quick to do that to a lot of people. Just how long had he closed himself off from others based on his skewed, morally righteous perspective? His whole life, if he had to say.

The epiphany that she was physically prying open his third eye with a crowbar, that he was now self aware and changing for the better for her—for himself—hit him all at once.

It was the most frightening sensation of his life, the introvert in him wanting to crawl back into his shell where it was safe and comfortable and dull. But deep down he knew it was also for the best.

“W-why?” He heard himself asking before he knew what he was doing. “Why do you keep saying that?”

He had to know why she insisted on standing by her statement that his mishap was not only hot, but the hottest ever. Why did she insist on lying to him, on giving him false hope? She spoke her mind in every other situation, or at least that’s what he assumed; why did she insist on sparing his feelings in this incident? Was he really that pathetic? Did she pity him that much?

She simply blinked at him once, twice, before: “Because I really like you, Jungkook.”

As if in slow motion, you could visibly see his eyes expand to the size of saucers at your words.

You would’ve found the sight comical had the situation been any different. But the way he continued to disbelieve that you could have feelings for him, that you could be attracted to everything about him despite who he was, despite his inexperience—it made your heart break in your chest. You now knew from where this inferiority complex stemmed—he’d told you himself about his family situation—and if anything, it made you want to rebuild his confidence that much more. He needed to see himself the way you saw him.

But you also didn’t want to overwhelm him, either. And you were more than willing to walk that fine line with Jungkook no matter how long it took.

“So are we on for a study sesh tonight?” You continued nonchalantly, wanting to return things to normalcy for him as much as possible before he ran away mid-conversation as he’d done so many times before. You wanted to ease his self-doubt so he’d stop avoiding you—like he’d been doing the past few days—as much as possible.

Jungkook blinked as if trying to adjust from the whiplash of your subject-change. “U–uh… if you want?”

“Of course I want to,” you replied without missing a beat, not caring how desperate you seemed so long as he didn’t question where you stood. You took a step forward, unable to help the intangible, magnetic draw you felt to him as you gazed up at him beneath your lashes. “That is… if you want to.”

You watched in agony as a gulp slowly raked its way down his throat.

“I–” his voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I uh, can’t tonight. I have to study for math.”

You weren’t even sure how one studied for math, but you weren’t about to question the expert. “That’s fine! We could… do it tomorrow?”

Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, an action he always did when he was internally struggling with something before he finally nodded his head yes in a slow, hesitant manner. “N–not in my room though,” he added as an afterthought, and when your gaze snapped to his he had a pleading expression in his eyes.

A mix of emotions rolled through you. On one hand, you were horrified at the possibility that he thought the only reason you wanted to study again was so that you could get in his pants. Which—okay, you’re not going to lie, you would love to have a repeat of last week—but that definitely wasn’t why you wanted to see him. He meant more to you than just a means to get off, which was what you’d thought of flings in the past. You didn’t want him to be just a fling, though.

You didn’t want to think of the meaning behind that fact right now, either.

But on another hand, you understood where Jungkook was coming from. Maybe it was because you’d studied him enough over the past few months to learn some of his behavior (for once you finally saw the appeal of studying), so you knew that level of intimacy was probably extremely overwhelming for Jungkook and he needed a moment to step back. Hell, it was even overwhelming for you, and that was saying something. Never had your senses, your heart, your body, your soul been attacked like that with such an abundance of emotional pleasure, and you hoped with all your might that Jungkook was feeling the same—that that was the reason he needed a breather from being alone with you, and not the fact that he just didn’t want to be intimate with you.

Unless…

Oh god, had you misread the situation entirely? Had Jungkook hated everything about that night?

Suddenly you were feeling sick to your stomach. The thought of you misunderstanding his confession—or worse, him changing his mind completely—made you want to escape to a dark and desolate stairwell and cry in the hidden nooks of the windowsill again; the irony that not only would you be pulling a Jungkook by escaping mid-conversation, but that the stairwell was also the place the two of you had your first real conversation, wasn’t lost on you.

“M–my roommate is staying in, studying for finals.” The sound of Jungkook’s voice was like a breath of fresh air whooshing into your lungs after almost drowning underwater. You blinked out of your inner turmoil, focusing on him. “So he’ll be there, i–in my room, this whole week.”

And suddenly your heart was warming with relief, hope, appreciation, like flowers blooming in the spring after a torrential downpour. Just when you thought you had him figured out, this enigma of a boy continued to surprise you. It was usually easy for you to hide your emotions—you’d been doing so for years, always wore a mask around others so that they couldn’t see the real you—and yet somehow, Jungkook must’ve sensed them anyway. He sensed the doubt, the pain, the fear that you vowed never to cage you crawling up your throat and threatening to consume you whole, and he eased it. He didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He wanted to reassure you.

If anything, that was just a testament to how Jungkook had broken down your walls—how much you had let him in, how well he was able to read the emotions you wanted to keep hidden. Your mask had begun to break, the real you showing through the cracks, and Jungkook was still standing here. He hadn’t run away.

You fought the urge to grab him and slam your lips onto his.

“Not in your room, then,” is all you managed to breathe out beneath a fluttering smile.

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook scenario #bts x reader #bts scenario #i hope this is good enough for the time being!!! im sorry its taking me so long to get pt 8 posted #u guys are the best i love u <3333

[gureishi]

dude okay so this is kinda specific and also probably not very original or anything ekdbsisj

but-

how do you think saeyoung would react/feel if (during the apartment days), his MC started crying (or almost) after that one (or maybe two? cant remember, and im only halfway through day 7 on the current playthroygh) time where he just... got really mad n yelled... hhh his expression was scary,,

getting yelled out is already a lil agitating for me... and I know i would be automatically already a lil sensitive cos i would be nervous from the last few days (rsd would nerf me) -- meaning i would be a lil more emotional/easily affected than usual ;;;

on top of that ive never had a guy yell at me djvdjdj so it would be a lil scary, i wont lie.

wanna clarify: the crying wouldn't be on purpose lol, i would definitely try n hide it. easier said then done though... OTL

jsvfsh this is so long n specific n kinda personal to me?? im sure im not alone regarding the general idea though. anyways jdbdjs sorry lolol-

and im jus asking for your thoughts or maybe HCs? whichever you feel works best!

also sorry if we've talked about this before i have a bad memory-

[417]

btw ur amazing love u

Love you too dear Four! And oh boy do I relate to this. I do not handle being yelled at well and would, without a doubt, cry multiple times in this scenario (/ω＼)

Saeyoung reacting to his MC crying in the apartment 

He’s never felt like this before. He sort of thought he’d been through it all: wrung every last bit of love and fear and desperation out of himself till there was nothing left but the things that make him useful: his clever hands and his brilliant (weary) mind.

When you speak to him so tenderly—hovering just at the edge of his space, eyes full of something he can’t (won’t) identify—he feels like his heart is too big for his body, and he can’t think straight, or see straight, or make his miserable mind form the words he needs to say to you.

He’s angry because he can’t understand why you’re gazing at him that way, like you’d do anything to ease the pounding in his skull; he’s angry because none of his words are getting through to you, and he doesn’t know how to make you understand that he’s not the person he made you believe he was. And he is angry because he knows, without a doubt, that he’s in far too deep already, and that if anything were to happen to you now, his desperate heart would break for good.

He knows how to lie (it is, in his opinion, the only real skill he has)—so he does. He tells you he wishes you’d leave him alone—tells you to stay away—tells you he feels nothing for you at all. He raises his voice (but oh, as the stinging words tear from his throat his heart wants to crawl out of his skin and throw itself into your arms).

You say nothing. Good, he thinks; and he forces his attention back to his screen (eyes blurry, hands shaking). He hears the sound of your footsteps as you retreat to the farthest corner of the apartment, and something inside him seems to go with you—since the very first time he heard your voice, he thinks, a part of him is always with you. With every day that goes by, that part gets bigger: soon, there will be nothing left of him at all.

With his eyes trained on the screen (and most of his attention on you), he hears the tiny sounds you’re making: shifting, he thinks at first, getting comfortable. Maybe even going to sleep.

But no: you are so quiet only somebody with senses that have been heightened from years of training (years of hiding, and fleeing, and fighting for his life) would hear. But there’s a whimper—a vague, almost indistinct sniffling.

Oh no. Oh god.

Oh god oh god oh god.

Years of agency training have taught him to turn his back on people who are begging, or whining, or crying—but he’s never been any good at it.

And this is you: and his scrambled mind races, his heart drumming so loud against his ribs he is sure you can hear it. He would, he thinks wildly, do absolutely anything in the world to never hear you make such a miserable sound again.

Before he realizes what he’s doing, he stands. The room spins; he’s weak, and hungry, and angry, and scared; his stomach is in knots and the darkened room seems to tilt sideways around him. 

You don’t seem to have noticed that he’s moved; you’re hiding your face in your shirt, back turned to him—and you are still (so very still). He doesn’t remember how to breathe.

“Uh...” he says, and the sound echoes horribly in the dull, sparsely furnished room. You say nothing. He clears his throat, takes an unsteady step toward you. He’s not thinking rationally anymore—not thinking about scaring you off, or keeping you safe. All he wants is to see that look in your eyes again: that soft one, the one that makes his hands and feet feel too big and his skin seem to burn and his breath catch in his throat.

“Are, uh...are you okay?” he rasps. You’re still ignoring him, which is a first; your face is turned away, so he goes to your side, kneeling on the floor beside you. You sniffle. He feels like his heart is going to burst.

“Yeah,” you say—and unlike him, you are not such a good liar. Without meaning to, he reaches for you: finds his fingers (of their own accord) doing what they’ve been itching to do since the moment he first laid eyes on you. He touches your hair—brushing it off your face, tucking it behind you ear.

Your eyes, he thinks (fiercely, irrationally): he needs to see your eyes.

“Don’t believe you,” he says. With a sigh of exasperation, you turn to him: oh, and your eyes are blazing, red-rimmed. And he is the one who has done this to you—he is the monster who has made you suffer.

His mind seems to have driven itself into the ground. Suddenly, he can’t remember how to do anything at all.

But his body moves of its own accord, because his heart has always been eons ahead of his (brilliant and foolish) mind.

“Hey,” he finds himself murmuring, brushing your cheek with his rough fingertips (and he knows he shouldn’t, but now that he’s here, he is finding it almost impossible to resist). “I know,” he says, without even quite understanding what he means. “I know.”

You watch him; and there it is again—just for a moment, that softness deep in your eyes that sets him on fire.

“I’m sorry,” he says, the words springing to his lips before his brain can get in his way. “I’m so, so...I didn’t mean to...I never...”

You shake your head, and your hair falls into your eyes again. He brushes it back, finding that there is nothing—nothing—in the world quite as wonderful as the feeling of your warm skin under his fingers.

“I get it,” you tell him. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“I can’t...” He makes himself take a deep breath, and regrets it instantly as his senses are flooded by the warm, enticing scent of you. He feels you all around him now. “I didn’t mean it,” he says quietly. “Please. I can’t stand to see you making that face.”

You force a watery laugh, and the effort you are making for him is almost too much. His mind races. For a moment, he imagines how it would feel to wrap your small body in his arms—to press his lips to your temple and feel your heart beating against his skin.

“How’s this?” you say. You offer him a passable impression of a smile, and he wants to throw himself at your feet.

“Terrible,” he says. You laugh, and it sounds a tiny bit more believable this time. You are looking at him, and there it is again: that softening in your eyes that makes him think (just for a moment) that there could be a happy ending for him after all.

“I...” he starts. What? He can’t tell you how he feels—what he wants—what he is afraid of. Not here. Not now. Not yet. “Please,” he finds himself whispering. “Can you...just give me a little more time?”

You nod, and there is a strength in you that nearly knocks him off his feet.

“Yeah,” you say: and this time you sound like you mean it.

Against his will, he pushes himself up—makes his way back to his miserable little corner of the room. But he pauses—turns—and you are still waiting, still watching him. Of course you are.

“I’m gonna make it right,” he says, not quite meeting your eyes. Never, he thinks: he will never ever make you cry again.

“I believe you,” you say.

It is the first time anyone has ever told him this.

His heart shivers.

“I won’t let you down,” he says—promises. He means it with all his heart.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #707 #headcanons #asks #417 #fwends 🥺 #<3 <3 <3

[passable-talent]

part 4 was so so good!!!!! can you make a part 5? i’m in love with your writing and that series!!! you’re feeding my need for zuko content and i love u for that.

it literally took exactly 19 minutes to get a request for part 5

THANK U THO SHDBCNDGS IM HAPPY YOURE ENJOYING WHAT I DO

been excited to get back to this one, y’all aren’t ready 😏

OKAY I SAID YALL WERENT READY BEFORE I EVEN WROTE IT BUT NOW IVE WRITTEN IT AND LET ME FUCKING REITERATE: YALL ARE NOT F U C K I N G R E A D Y

| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 |

For chapter five, and my five hundred follower special, we will go back to spring of the year 100 AG, right before Azula’s coup succeeded in their destruction of Ba Sing Se . . .

“So what’s happening?” You asked Mushi as the two of you hurried through the streets of the upper ring.

“Come close,” Mushi answered, and your footsteps brought you beside him.

“My nephew and I are more than refugees,” he began, “my name is Iroh, and I am the brother of the Fire Lord. My nephew, Zuko, is the banished prince of the Fire Nation. I’m sorry we lied to you, but we needed to, in order to stay in Ba Sing Se where we were safe from our family.” Your head reeled, but you kept beside him, because still you trusted this man. You were trained to react and to think, thanks to the Dai Li, so you analyzed his words.

“Were?” you questioned, wondering why he seemed to suggest that he was no longer safe.

“My niece, Princess Azula, has infiltrated the city. She tried to capture me- she did capture Zuko.” Your eyes widened, and your speed increased beside Iroh. “I need your help to retrieve him, and the Avatar’s. That’s where we’re headed.” You looked up at the house you were approaching, half caved in from some sort of destruction. What had happened here?

“The Avatar?” you asked, and Iroh nodded, pausing in front of the door to knock politely. You waited beside him, but held your forehead- you were so shocked about everything you were finding out.

Zuko- not Lee. The banished prince of the Fire Nation. You hadn’t even known that the prince of the Fire Nation had been banished! What else didn’t you know about the other nations of the world beyond the walls of Ba Sing Se?

Why had this information been kept from you? You were training to be in the Dai Li, one of the best and most important police forces of the Earth Kingdom, shouldn’t this information be privy to you? Why wasn’t it?

You were pulled from your thoughts as a girl opened the door, and regarded Iroh with friendliness.

“I need your help,” he began, and you watched the reactions of the other two at the door. They seemed frightened by Iroh- what kind of history had they that you weren’t aware of?

Why were you kept in the dark about everything?

“You guys know each other?” demanded the boy you had to assume was the avatar, who didn’t seem much concerned with your presence. Maybe it was the earth kingdom robes?

“I met him in the woods once, and knocked him down,” answered the girl, and with her gaze that didn’t seem focused on the avatar you wondered if maybe she was blind. She, however, seemed like a strong earthbender. It was one of the things you were trained to pick up on in the Dai Li, and relied entirely on how a person carried herself. “Then he gave me tea and some very good advice.”

“May we come in?” Iroh asked sheepishly, and you wondered why there wasn’t more urgency to his tone.

“Who’s your friend?” the clearly water tribe boy demanded, and you lifted your chin, being acknowledged.

“I’m Y/N, a soon-to-be member of the Dai Li,” you answered, “You can trust me.”

“The Dai Li?” Avatar Aang responded, more shock in his face than before.

“That makes us even less likely to trust you!!” the water tribe boy shouted, and your eyebrows knitted together.

“The Dai Li are the protectors of the city!” you said, though you felt doubt gnaw at your spine- they had kept so much from you, their own cadet.

Iroh turned his eyes to you, and something in his gaze told you to hush up.

“Princess Azula is here, in Ba Sing Se,” Iroh told them, his tone stern and serious.

“She must have Katara!” Aang said, and you looked to Iroh. You didn’t know these people- but that Azula would capture both Zuko and a friend of the avatar meant that she was one of two things: insanely brave or insanely stupid.

“She has captured my nephew, as well,” Iroh said.

“Then we’ll work together to fight Azula, and save Katara and Zuko,” the avatar said, and you felt a little lightness crawl into your heart. You’d be able to help save Zuko, and a friend of the avatar? You were about to go on a crazy adventure.

“Whoa there,” said the water tribe boy, walking back into the conversation, “you lost me at ‘Zuko.’ “

“I know how you must feel about my nephew,” Iroh began, and your expression softened. There was definitely history here, and you’d be interested to learn it. “But believe me when I tell you, there is good inside him.” You brought your eyes to the avatar’s, and nodded, trying to fathom something to say that they’d believe. They didn’t know you, didn’t know what you stood for, and it seemed that you didn’t know much of that yourself.

“I’ve known Zuko for a while,” you said, “and he’s never been anything other than a scared and polite refugee.”

“Good inside him isn’t enough!” The water tribe boy insisted, “Why don’t you come back when it’s outside him too, okay?” Your chest deflated further, and you had to wonder: what had Zuko done, what had Zuko been, that they had this strong of a hatred for him?

Did you want to know?

“Katara’s in trouble,” Aang said to his friend, “All of Ba Sing Se’s in trouble. Working together is our best chance.”

On the way toward the catacombs of the city underneath the palace, you learned Sokka and Toph’s names, as well as the true treachery of the Dai Lee. You learned about the war with the Fire Nation, and had a smile on your face as you took in how lucky you were that the two firebenders whom you had come to love were the only two on the right side of this war.

“Well, whaddaya know, there is an ancient city down there,” Toph said, her hand pressed to the stone courtyard, “but it’s deep.” She opened up a large hole in the stone, heading downward.

“How can you tell?” You asked, and she cracked her knuckles in your direction.

“Right, you’re classically trained,” she mocked with a rude laugh, which made you smile. “I can sense seismic activity through stone. Maybe I’ll teach you, when this is over.” You nodded, intrigued, before Sokka grabbed your attention.

“We should split up. Aang, you go with Iroh and Y/N to look for Katara and the angry jerk,” he said. “No offense,” he added in Iroh’s direction, and once again you found yourself confused on the nature of their shared past when Iroh said “none taken.”

“And I’ll go with Toph to warn the Earth King about Azula’s Coup.”

Aang, Iroh, and you began heading down into the tunnel, Iroh holding up fire for light while you and Aang took turns lengthening the tunnel downwards.

“So, Toph thinks you give pretty good advice,” Aang said, seeming to try to make conversation. “And great tea.” A smile came to your face- Iroh’s tea was the reason that you were, apparently, romantically involved with the prince of the Fire Nation.

Imagine that.

“The key to both is proper aging,” Iroh said, and you laughed under your breath. “What’s on your mind?” Aang paused, and took his turn lengthening the tunnel.

“Well, I met with this guru who was supposed to help me master the avatar state and control this great power.” You turned to look at the avatar as you walked, amazed at both his story and his mere stature. You never thought that you’d get to meet the avatar.

“But to do it, I had to let go of someone I love, and I just couldn’t.” You reached the end of the tunnel, and took stance beside Iroh to take your turn lengthening it. However, Iroh began speaking, and you figured it rude to interrupt him.

“Perfection and power are overrated. I think you are very wise to choose happiness, and love.” With a smile on your face you earthbent and opened up the tunnel further, deciding then and there that you would stick with Iroh. Surely you weren’t to stay and train with the Dai Li, and as it seemed he was teaming up with the avatar, maybe you’d get to help fight in the war!

“But what happens if we can’t save everyone and beat Azula?” You didn’t answer, and let Iroh, both because you didn’t know the answer, and because you felt that the scope of your knowledge and importance wasn’t what it needed to be to even participate in this conversation.

“Without the avatar state, what if I’m not powerful enough?”

“I don’t know the answer,” Iroh said, making you gaze to the side at him. “Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel. You can’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving...” Iroh paused as Aang took his turn to break through the stone in front of you, revealing light and a wide open new space, “...you will come to a better place.” You paused, standing on the edge of a cliff, to look out over the ancient city. There was a fountain in front of you, making the air smell fresh even though you were so far below ground. It was amazing, and part of you wished you could have stayed. However, you knew that there was much more pressing matters, and so you quickly moved along with Iroh and Aang into another chamber to hopefully find the prisoners you were looking for.

Aang burst through another wall of stone, and quickly disappeared through the hole as you and Iroh followed.

“Aang!” A girl shouted before embracing him, and you barely put it together that this must be ‘Katara’ before your feet had carried you to Zuko, and hugged him tightly. You yielded this, however, to Iroh, who hugged him with just as much relief as you felt in your heart.

“Uncle, I don’t understand,” Zuko said, a malice you didn’t recognize glinting in his eyes. “What are you doing with the avatar?”

“Saving you, that’s what,” Aang said, and Zuko began to lunge before Iroh caught his chest. You flinched- this wasn’t the boy you knew at all.

“Zuko, it’s time we talked,” Iroh told him, then looking at Aang and Katara. “Go help your other friends. We’ll catch up with you.” Aang and Katara turned away while you stood still, but Iroh turned to you. “You as well. It’ll be alright.” You nodded, and raced down the tunnel after Katara.

“We’ve gotta find Sokka and Toph!” Katara shouted, but you couldn’t answer her before you heard roaring behind you. You didn’t recognize the sound, but when you turned and saw blue fire, nothing could’ve prepared you.

This wasn’t in your training. It wasn’t in your index of attacks to react to. You had no idea what to do- if it wasn’t for Aang and the wall that he raised, you would’ve surely been charred on the spot.

You didn’t recognize the girl that had shot it, but you felt that it was safe to assume it must’ve been Azula.

Katara raced around the wall and picked up water, revealing herself as a powerful water bender before your eyes. The fight between her and Azula created a cloud of steam, and you staggered back even further from Aang’s wall, your chest rising and falling quickly.

You were panicking.

All of that training, everything that your instructors had ever done to harden your will and sharpen your reaction time, it stood nothing against this. This, with the sister of the guy you were crushing on shooting blue fire at the avatar, and you weren’t even sure who’s side you should be on.

That was stupid, of course you knew you should be on the avatar’s side. But something in your head whispered doubts- she was Zuko’s sister. She was the leader of the Dai Li, who you belonged to.

Azula appeared from the steam and shot two fireballs at Aang and Katara, who were forty or so feet in front of you. You just watched, dumbfounded, and realized quickly that she wasn’t aiming at you. She wasn’t targeting you at all.

She landed on a column, which Aang rocked beneath her, and she fell down to stand between Aang and Katara, her back to you. She kept her hands pointed at both of them, but suddenly, her attention turned toward you.

“You’re Y/N, right?” She asked, and your eyes widened. “I remember you. You’re a very impressive cadet, you could be an asset to me. I control the Dai Li, now, and so your allegiance is to me.”

Just for a moment, Katara’s gaze turned to you, wondering if there was any truth to that statement.

Was there?

A fireball impacted the ground between Aang and Azula and you staggered backward, looking up for the source of the flame.

Zuko. Relief filled your chest- at least you knew for sure you were on his side.

As though time was frozen, you watched as he turned his ready stance from aiming at Aang, to aiming at Azula, and your tension melted away. You could fight beside Zuko and the avatar and Katara, and surely between the four of you the princess would be defeated.

Then, from your position fifty feet behind Aang, you saw Zuko’s eyes land on the avatar.

The calmness drifted away, and all you saw was rage.

Fire blasted toward Aang, and he couldn’t avoid the plume, his air bending keeping him from harm but also sending him back beside you. Zuko’s fire kept coming, and you threw up a wall in front of you, turning to the side with your body made into a smaller target out of pure fear.

Zuko had turned on Aang. He’d shot fire at Aang- he’d shot fire at you.

Aang leapt away to continue his battle, which left you behind your wall of stone, paralyzed with fear and indecision and betrayal and anger and sadness.

Didn’t you know Zuko at all? That look in his eye... you had never seen that before. There was pure rage inside him, and you couldn’t understand it, you couldn’t comprehend how this was the boy you’d cared for.

You heard fire roaring throughout the cave, and the whooshing of the wind that Aang sent back. Rocks clattered to the floor and water shot around the cavern, and it was all too much, the sounds of martial arts and groaning and impacts, you couldn’t get a clear thought through your mind.

“I thought you had changed!” Katara’s yell echoed off the rocks, and just for a moment your hands lifted from your temple. Was she talking to Zuko?

“I have changed,” he answered, and it was in the silence that followed that you made up your mind, finally.

Zuko was on the wrong side of this war. Not as you’d thought.

You heard a yelp from Katara and brought up a hunk of earth underneath you, launching you across the cave and into a defensive position in front of her with a battle cry. Both Azula and Zuko seemed surprised by this decision, but before any of you could react, the rumbling of Aang’s reemergence interrupted the fight. They turned their attention to him, which gave you the moment to send a hunk of stone into both of their abdomens, knocking them backward. However, your eyes turned up with the sound of Dai Li stone chains, and you couldn’t pull your limbs in tight enough to avoid their sudden grip on you.

“No,” you snarled as Katara woke, and brought a ring of water around the both of you. You stood back to back with her, small finger movements slowly dissembling the stone chains around your wrists so you could help her in the fight.

But there were too many agents- you knew you couldn’t take them all on. Not even with a master waterbender at your back.

A gust of wind surprised you, and you broke free in time to see Aang rise from shattered crystal inside a beam of light. It was amazing- and you were stunned into awe.

Lightning struck the avatar.

Katara nearly drowned you in the wave she created, but you pulled up a slab of stone just in time to surf on it behind her, just like you had on summer days in Lake Laogai. Mowing down Dai Li agents, and the royal siblings, the two of you raced toward the falling avatar, before he was caught by Katara. Soaked, exhausted, and tears blurring your vision, you stood between her and the siblings, who walked toward her, as though they were predators, and she an easy meal.

Though you knew you should be watching them both, your eyes were on Zuko. Maybe, there was some of Lee left in him, and seeing you would bring it back. But his eyes were firmly on the dead-or-dying avatar, hungry, predatory, and your heart shattered.

Fire cut off their path and you looked up to see Iroh, who leapt down in front of even you.

“You’ve got to get out of here!” He shouted, looking back at you. “I’ll hold them off for as long as I can!” Katara stood and you joined her on Aang’s other side, carrying the avatar toward a waterfall, the sound of fire roaring behind you.

It was terrifying.

“Hold onto him!” Katara shouted, her grip tight on the avatar as she used her other hand to bend an upward spiral around the three of you.

You watched Iroh face Zuko until the rock covered your vision, and you closed your eyes.

Back on Appa, you kneeled behind Sokka, one eye keeping a watch on Katara as she attempted to heal Aang. But mostly, you gripped Appa’s fur, and cried.

The Dai Li had lied to you. Zuko and Iroh had lied to you. The Dia Li turned on you. Zuko turned on you. Zuko turned on Iroh, Azula killed the avatar. Everything was so messed up, beyond proportion, skewed beyond belief. The boy you thought you might’ve loved...

He’d never existed in the first place.

And though the avatar lived, you laid your forehead to the bison’s back, and sobbed.

tag list for this series- @furblrwurblr @eridanuswave

oh yeah request for pt 6 /// already been requested y’all are fine

edit: | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 |

-🦌 Roe

#angst #atla gaang #atla reader insert #atla imagine #atla x reader #atla imagines #atla zuko #atla #avatar x reader #katara #atla sokka #atla katara #atla aang #atla iroh #atla toph #team avatar #avatar iroh #avatar reader insert #avatar imagine #avatar imagines #avatar: the last airbender #avatar #avatar zuko #prince zuko x reader #prince zuko fluff #prince zuko #zuko imagine #zuko #zuko reader insert #fics

[damnedparker]

hellooooo :) this is @/pvarker !! how was your day? i hope it was good! mine’s been so busy, spring sem of college seems to punch me in the face. i’ve had a lot of homework but i’m chugging along somehow (this semester’s rough even though i’m taking less classes? idek man)

in the meantime i’ve been thinking of au peters ? specifically professor!peter and running his lil chemistry experiments and being spidey in the downtime! i’ve been working on my current series and two one shots but i’ve been so busy that it’s been hard. how about you? have you written anything/gotten the time to?

hi there!! my day has been pretty good :)) i'm in the exact same boat with college, i only have two whole classes but it's my senior year so everything is very overwhelming right now!! i am scraping by with a sleep schedule that rivals peter parker's.

professor peter is SO cute! he would be such an understanding, enthusiastic, and a little bizarre prof and i guarantee would be a favorite among students!! i feel like he would hardly have anyone that fails his class cause he just can't bear to let anyone go through that :'))) also i firmly believe he would use those smiley face stickers even though everyone in the classroom is an adult.

and this week has been quite a lot, but i have a few one shots ive been jotting ideas down and drafting before bed. somehow that makes me sleepier? lol. hopefully i can post at least a little blurb this weekend. i was bleaching my hair today and thought of a cute little idea abt peter and a s/o that changed their hair a lot so maybe i'll post something about that in the next few weeks <3 i hope u get some time to relax and write soon!

#asks #i didnt mean to type a novel lol i just got excited

[akistans]

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒…

Warnings: Honestly nothing.

You’ve been warned ^^

Hey besties!!! How’ve y’all been??? Social distancing i hope;-;.

<cue transition becuz writer is too awkward at introductions.>

That’s nice:)

But all jokes aside, Hey everyone! It has been truly been a minute, i kid u not i have truly ghosted tf out of this app and i’am very sorry for that.

And also i feel as though i owe an explanation for me being gone.

And where Lovesick has been.

Also where are all the requests.

And some new updates i’d like to add to my page.

I wont make this too long a will be direct with every statement, but if you want to see about something specific, then follow the order i listed them in.

Alright, lets get into it.

𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

So there is multiple reasons why i’ve been gone but ig the biggest reason was because of my dad getting covid, i’m not one for putting out personal info like this so it feels weird typing this out, but yeah.

Another reason was just school, i wasn’t badly behind but it was the end of the year and I didn’t want to finish badly-btw ur girl is in her final year of senior high- so i devoted more time to studying.

𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊

This is probably one of the most largest things everyone has been wondering about and i may disappoint a lot of people😮‍💨

Currently Lovesick is still in my drafts but i honestly have no intention of releasing it anymore😖. I announced it all the way back in spring and its now almost 2022😩.

I wanna apologize for getting everyone’s hopes up, I’m truly sorry that i made you wait this long for an update, i really am.

As far as the story goes, i love the plot but i feel like i made a shitty mess out of writing cuz when i would read it, it didn’t really sound all that good.

I may release it in the future but for now it’ll just remain in the drafts.

𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒

Regarding requests, they will be currently closed cuz my inbox is currently stacked with alot ive missed over the months^^;

But i dont think it will be closed for long cuz most of them are probably request for the Yandere prince enhypen(which i’am almost done with the hyung line)

And speaking of enhypen, this brings me to my next point.

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒

O ver the past few months I haven’t really followed up on enhypen🥺 the last mv i remember from them is drunk-dazed but i believe they just had a comeback recently so im trying to get back into them.

But what i most importantly wanna say is that ur gonna start seeing me write for txt and skz more often (like right after this post more often) cuz i didnt just wanna make my blog just about enhypen and i really love skz and txt (and maybe nct too if i think about it.)

Also…uhm . Have y’all seem Hyunjin recently???

Lord forgive me, but- like- i swear so many ideas popped up when i saw his dance video i-

He would make good for like a Yandere mafia boss type archetype y’know👀👀👀

But aside from that~

Theres one other thing i want to announce! I hit 200 followers! (Or I’m about to)

And for that! I really wanted to create an anon list so that i can interact with my followers! Just send in an ask and ask to be added to the list! I can’t wait!

You can send in any Yandere thoughts or maybe you just want someone to talk to! I’m all ears!

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆

That’s all for now tho, again i would like to apologize for my long hiatus and for the cancellation of Lovesick. And also thank all of you very much for 200! I really couldn’t be more grateful than I’am now and i wish you all a beautiful day!

#kpop #enhypen #enhypen scenarios #yandere enhypen #txt ot5 #txt scenarios #yandere txt #skz #stray kids #yandere skz #nct #yandere nct

[keytomythoughts]

Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1

Chapter Index 

»»—————————————-　

Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually. 

I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.

(Binnie)

R u still on the train?

                                                               Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins

(Eunuwu) 

Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?

                                                                                                                      Funny

                                                                        Yk I can’t move out, at least not on                                                                            my own. My parents won’t allow it

(Binnie)

:/

What about Jaehyun?

                                                                            Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh

                                                                       They’re just hell-bent on me getting                                                                                    into the top schools and shit

(Eunuwu)

Damn, rough

                                                                                                                        Mhm

(Binnie)

Try talking to them, u never know

They might change their minds?

                                                                 Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end

                                                                         Me crying and stuffing myself with                                                                           pints of ice cream

(Eunuwu)

Doesn't sound so bad

(Binnie)

¬_¬

(Eunuwu)

Except for the crying part ofc

But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad

I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice

(Binnie)

U’ve been to her house??

                                                                         Yeah him and oppa are friends too

(Binnie)

Righttt forgot lol

                                                                  And that’s bc you were there dumbass                                                                    and half of the time ur either in oppa’s                                                                    room or out somewhere

                                                                  Interaction with my parents = minimal

(Binnie)

That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna

But hey we should all hang soon!

(Eunuwu)

I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?

                                                                                                           I miss y’all :’(

                                                                   Ok I should be there around like 5 ish                                                                     so I’ll text then

(Binnie)

Aww I miss u toooo 

(Eunuwu)

*puke*

                                                                                           Shut up, ur just jealous

(Eunuwu)

Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?

Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already

And personality 0:)

                                                                               Gr8, explains why ur still single

(Binnie)

LOLL

She got u there bro

(Eunuwu)

Shut up

Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf

Idiot

(Binnie)

At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol 

                                                                                             See? My point exactly

                                                                               Your fAcE scared off every girl                                                                                   in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy

                                                                           I almost feel bad for them, u little                                                                             heart breaker

(Binnie)

He made a couple of em cry I heard

                                                                                                                     Rlly?!?

                                                                                                                         YAH

                                                                                                               U MORON

(Eunuwu)

Bin wtf

(Binnie)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

                                                                                    U JERK HOW COULD U??

                                                                                              Those poor girls omg

                                                                               Im so kicking ur ass when I c u

(Binnie)

Me 2

(Eunuwu)

Wtf?? Y???

(Binnie)

No reason lol, just feel like it

                                                                                         And this is why ily Binnie

(Binnie)

:D <3

(Eunuwu)

GROSS

                                                                                                        Can it u demon

                                                                                                         Read 4:02 PM

I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated. 

Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends. 

That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side. 

Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another. 

Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.  

My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.

“What?” 

He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”

I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”

“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”

“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”

He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.” 

There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”

“Yeah, give or take.” 

I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away. 

“What, you miss me?”

He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.” 

“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”

“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”

“Shut up.”

I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.

“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”

I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”

“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”

“Oppa!”

Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”   

He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.

As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.

God knows where I’d be sent to now.

***

“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.” 

That’s my stop.

Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation. 

Four long years away from Seoul...

Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.

It sure as hell feels good to be back home.

I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.

“Hyuna, over here!”

I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”

He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide. 

Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.

He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”

I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”

He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.

“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?” 

I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”

At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!” 

“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail. 

“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul. 

What can I say? It’s a talent. 

He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.

“Welcome home, sis.”

I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder. 

“Good to be back,” I whisper. 

We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment. 

He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”

“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.

“Can I—”

“No.”

“Please—”

“Nope.”

I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat. 

“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”

Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.

With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.

My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |  

#moonbin x oc #moonbin ff #moonbin fic #moon bin #cha eunwoo #jung jaehyun #astro #nct #fanfiction #my writings #mine

[actualbird]

Opening Line Tag Game :DDD

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

was tagged by @dont-offend-the-bees!! thanks for the tag, newt!!!! ur dghda fics holds a special place in my heart even though ive sailed away to fandoms afar.

well, here’s the first lines of the past 20 fanfics i posted onto my ao3, starting from most recent going back!!

When he gets home, Signora is leaning against the door of his apartment. (something like a death wish, Genshin Impact)

It’s a somber affair, when it’s time for Azhdaha to fade away. (it's a hard rock life for us, Genshin Impact)

Azhdaha is born into a world of darkness. (you give me miles and miles of mountains, Genshin Impact)

It starts with one of Jean’s many romance novels. (what's inside? that's causing this malfunction, Genshin Impact)

Ajax didn’t think about it much, before. (i forget the difference between seduction and arson, ignition and cognition, Genshin Impact)

The ceremony is a small affair. (if it was important, we would have remembered, Genshin Impact)

He wakes up alone, shaking and bathed in darkness. (our endless and impossible journey toward home is in fact our home, Genshin Impact)

Kaeya doesn’t have baby pictures— what with the whole abandoned by his birth father at the ripe age of six at the doorstep of a winery tycoon shebang—but ever since he did get adopted, Crepus Ragnvindr took basically a million pictures of his two boys through every single year of their life. (angry react, Genshin Impact)

How strangely time passes; sometimes it soars like a feathered sliver in the sky, hopeful and free. (it's time to leave and turn to dust, Genshin Impact)

Thankfully, Charles is the one manning the bar when Kaeya gets to the Angel’s Share tavern. (ain't i the best you had?, Genshin Impact)

Life as a Fatui grunt isn’t as fabulous as the Snezhnayan rumor mill makes it out to be. (we don't even have dental..., Genshin Impact)

Here’s the thing: Childe’s career was going fucking great. (put your hands on me, Genshin Impact)

In the beginning, there was a land that was left by the gods to rot. (take this cup away from me, Genshin Impact)

Childe is in a domain hunting down intel when things go a bit fun. (taste of poison paradise, Genshin Impact)

Everybody in Pelican Town knows of the new resident, but knowing anything substantial about him is something else altogether. (a fullered blade and a scalpel, Stardew Valley)

Ronnie’s known for quite a while that Harvey is, well...endowed. (baby, you got lucky cause you're rocking with the best, Stardew Valley)

Ronnie has always been different from other people. (legend has it that the moss grows on the north side of the trees, Stardew Valley)

Spring comes, as it always does. (that's what seasons do, Stardew Valley)

The universe lurches. (just enjoy the show, Polygon Cyberpunk Red)

It comes in stages, not all at once. (not quite 20/20 vision, Hades)

can you believe these past 20 fics were ALL posted this year???? I WROTE 20 FANFICS IN 5 MONTHS....ON GODS THIS PANDEMIC HAS GOTTA END, SKJDFHKJSDF.

anyway //steeples hands. some patterns ive noticed as i put this list together

i almost always use the first sentence to establish either setting or premise. i guess i do this because, personally, when i enter a scene, the first thing i want to know is what im supposed to be physically experiencing or what im supposed to be emotionally focused on, if that makes sense? i need to Know!!!!! which means that my first lines honestly, in my opinion, are a bit boring akjfkbjfkjbfd. i gotta set down the bedrock or else everything else will be wobbly!!! i write my fics like i construct a fuckin jenga tower, i swear akjfbakjsf

something i do keep in mind with all my first lines is the very simple yet integral rule: a sentence’s purpose is to do what it needs to do, but also to make the reader want to read the next sentence. this, i guess, is why nearly all of my first lines feel like a cliffhanger. thats on purpose because what i want to do with my first line is get u to keep reading. in a sense, my first lines are working triple time. they 1) do whatever it is they need to do for the story, 2) establish setting/premise, and 3) push you onwards to the next sentence like a baby sea turtle waddling to the ocean.

related to “triple time” but that was something i learned from a brutal fiction professor who was wonderful and intelligent! but also made me shift out of the fiction track in college HAHA. his basic belief was that sentences cant just be doing One Thing. you’re going waste a lot of time and a lot of words and lose your reader, if you go at things like that. sentences have to multitask. i am very aware of this with opening lines...

and last but not least, all these opening lines undoubtedly suck on their own HAHKJBKDFJDJF

i....dont think i have a favorite opening line of all of the ones i listed tbh. like i said, all my opening lines, on their own, dont exactly Wow, so im lukewarm about all these haha. i think....this is indicative of me having to step up my opening line game......

//jazz hands. anyway theres that! and as for ppl to tag, i am notoriously shy when it comes to writer tag games, but im breaking my shyness to tag @listentotheshityousay and @theinternationalacestation . 

no need to do it if u dont wanna, friends!!! jus know i adore yalls’ writing so very very much

#tag game #long post #fic directors cut

[cosmosrival]

HI UH,, just wanted to say you are a HUGE inspiration for me and i frickin love all of your analyses and art, it’s made my love for kama multiply by thousands and now i try to research so much about them ?? so THANK YOU I OWE SO MUCH

but i also wanted to ask have you ever thought abt what vasanta would be like in fgo? i’ve always hoped we’d get vasanta and rati so kama can have more happy relationships.... but ik rati’s been talked abt before

feel free to correct me if im wrong but from what ive been getting vasanta was made to be kama’s companion and friend ? fsr i just: thought vasanta could have a similar skill set to nobukatsu and just be MADE to support kama and their quick crit spam

but i was a bit curious for a second opinion and wondered if you ever thought similar, sorry if this is a bother just wanted to share this!! again i love ur work so plz keep it coming !! it always brightens my day :D

i need you to realize that this ask means the WORLD to me 

anon, u gave me so much inspiration back that ... i finally ended up finishing the kama(pre-death), rati and vasanta designs i’ve been thinking about for so long!!! and constantly revamping!!! i’ll post them then edit this post to link it to them <3

EDIT: RIGHT HERE YEAA

i’ve indeed thought about this, and it seems that other gacha games also had that idea before, (kama and vasanta are literal lesbians in age of ishtaria even though their designs arent rly good lol) and i was like BRO imagine if fgo eventually does give us a vasanta that’s sort of the same kind as nobukatsu...? rati might not be a possibility bc they wanna push the waifu agenda for cash but vasanta... :thinking:

vasanta is the concept of spring that follows kama around as his eternal companion and amongst the only people that will literally never betray kama EVER because he was made to be by his side, because thanks to the love that kama embodies, spring can come after winter and flowers can bloom. kama is his life.. ok in a sense it’s just as romantic as being married actually JDNSJJDS

gameplay wise i’ll be honest with u... I HAD NO IDEA because i believe that kama isn’t really lacking ! THEY’RE ALREADY SOOOO POWERFUL, they’re amongst the best three assassins in the entire game, that’s why i wondered what vasanta could add to their kit that they don’t already have... and then i was like... bro, its not about adding its about additional buffing. so i think. that vasanta being a quick caster that only gives additional quick card strength buffs to kama because they both share the “Embodiment of Spring” trait... would be sooo selfish but also, i think they GENUINELY deserve to be a little selfish at this point DJNADNJADNJANJSNDSJ

anyways i kept this ask in my box for a while bc i wanted to keep it with me and not post it JDNAJDNJSNJSDNJSNJS I’LL TAG IT LIKE A MADMAN SO ILL FIND IT BUT thank u so much anon i hope u have a great month and stay safe and happy bc this ask did just that for me

#save #fav #answered #hubby tag #kama #fgo #WHAT ELSE CAN I ADD TO THIS #TO KEEP IT #JDNSDSJDSNDJS #FAVE #??? I GUESS #Anonymous

[highdwightofmylife]

i dont like venting to my friends as it makes me uncomfortable and u dont even have to post this but i know i wont be able to keep this in forever. i didnt think itd hit me this hard, but a cat ive had ever since i was very little, im in highscchool now, i had to put down today. it hit me like a pound of bricks when i didnt see his litter box in the laundry room or his foodbowls in the kitchen. im gonna have to watch him slowly begin to disappear from my life forever. this hurts so bad, i miss him so much. it hurts, i didnt think it would be this bad but it is, it hurts so so bad.

Oh shit, hon, I am so sorry. I know that feeling exactly, my old dog Patch as the absolute light of my life. My best friend. He still is, in a sense, even though he's gone. It's been two or three years now, but it sometimes feels like he's still here. Sometimes I hear tapping and think it's his claws on the laminate. Sometimes I see a flash of white and whip around like ??? Puppy?? You here?? He's regularly in my dreams. He's with me, I guess. I'm not religious and don't particularly believe in an afterlife, but it's a comfort that I still see him so often, even if it is my imagination or my dreams.

Anyway, my point is, it sucks. It's gonna suck. It's not gonna stop sucking, but it will get more tolerable. Not now, probably not in a week. But it will, eventually. They're gone physically, but they're not... Gone, I guess. They still meant something and they left their marks on us and we'll think about them daily pretty much forever. I know I still do.

Do you still have a collar or something? I deeply regret not having my dog's old collar to this day. Or tags from the collar? I only have photos of my dog, and it sucks not having the physical thing I can hold.

If you want to talk, you're more than welcome to dm me. Don't even have to say hi or anything. You can spring into a conversation and then we can pretend it never happened if that makes you more comfortable. You can vent, send me pictures, anything you want. You'll get through this, and if I can help in any way, I will.

#gryff speaks #tw: animal death #i mean its just an anon an i on here discussing it

[satoruvt]

fanfic writer tag game <3

helloooo <3 thank u for tagging me @hannie-dul-set this is so cute lol

ummmm! i think i will tag. @leejuyeeon and @seokmingiggles !! and as always anyone else who wants to <33

peum ~

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

omg lets see if i can do this in order. i think the first fandom i ever wrote fanfic for was creepypasta LMAOO and then... fairy tail? then 5 seconds of summer, then maybe it 2017?? voltron legendary defender, detroit become human, monster prom and mystic messenger kind of overlapped, the arcana !!! then my hero academia, haikyuu, a Little bit of demon slayer... i think thats it lol

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

seventeen is all for rn, but i’m thinking of also writing for mha again and adding jjk!!

3. how long have you been writing?

oh wow for like... probably around 6 years? maybe 6 and a half

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

rn just tumblr, i used to post more actively on ao3 but i havent since i started writing for kpop

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

ahhh like !!! comfort fics!!! i think theres something really sweet in those unspoken feelings during moments you think you’ll never forget... the idea of being with someone and you’re just so sure they’re your favorite person, and then warmth that comes with that realization... wahh

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

oh it depends i think. for longer fics i like to plan them out, but i really wing it with like timestamps or shorter ones

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

ONE SHOTS. my god i fucking suck at multi-chapter shit LMAOO ive only done 1 series like that and it was so rough for me lol

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

hm how do i explain this... anything that makes sense? however long it takes for it to feel like the chapter/fic is summed up or completed. i used to worry about word counts a lot but now i rarely pay attention to them, both in reading and writing

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

if we’re talking about multi-chaptered, then the color of you wins at 17k !! in terms of one shots, it’s for now; forever at 9k!

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

oh boy. i think... anything from the last like. 8 months? my svt stuff for sure!! i went a while without writing in between like january-late november 2020, and i was worried that my writing would suffer a lot... it took a sec for me to get back into the groove of things but i’m feeling happier than ever with the stuff i write now. i feel like ive matured about the way i approach my own writing and ideas, and how i do everything, and my fics make me really proud. ive started writing within different aus that i hadnt touched before, or talking about different feelings or ideas, etc... i really feel like ive grown with this most recent burst lol, and i love working on them! i get so hyped up when im in the middle of writing or even planning, im just so excited to share all of it hehe

11. favorite request you've have written and why (if any?)

ah its been so long since ive worked with requests that i cant remember anything LOL

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

yes. it is comfort and content. it is the feeling of love. it is holding hands on a walk in the middle of spring and smelling flowers. it is the sound of leaves when a gust of wind blows past. it is looking into ur lovers eyes and feeling nothing but pure fondness

13. current number of wips?

fuck like somewhere around 20 probably

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i really like repetition (specifically in sentences if that makes sense??), LOTS of unspoken things (even if i picture a fic with an established relationship, i dont say it within the fic; and especially concerning romantic feelings, i love when things go unsaid and are FELT full force), i think a lot of detailed rambling... i really like to try and describe emotions and stuff in the most abstract and obscure ways lol i feel like it makes things a little more palpable and honest

15. a quote you like from a published story

im gonna do a few. Lol. firstly this long one from pretend people can unlearn:

“Are you…” Jeonghan starts, and when you look at him, his eyes are still on the city in front of you. “Are you ever afraid that we’ll fall out of love?”

It never occurred to you that this was love. It’s not like the love you’ve experienced in the past, not even close. But maybe… maybe that’s why you never leave, why you hold yourself back from certain arguments like it might fix everything. Maybe love is the reason why Jeonghan still seems to believe in you. Why he promises he’ll be the best thing for you despite always breaking that promise.

(Is it love, a voice in your head questions, or is it longing?)

It takes you a while to respond. “I don’t know,” you end up saying, because you really don’t. Jeonghan turns his head and looks at you, and you half expect him to start an argument in the middle of night, out on the street like this. It wouldn’t be the first time. “Would that… be okay?”

“I don’t know,” Jeonghan answers, just like you. His voice is soft. You want to reach for his hand just to hold it. “You’re still…”

He pauses, like he’s trying to find the right word. You let him take his time, for once, instead of accusing him of the worst. “I’m still?”

“Everything,” he tells you. He looks so sad and you reach out for him because it’s the only thing you can offer. You think the worst thing about your relationship with Jeonghan is that you will always believe him when he gets like this, just like you’ll believe him when he takes it back in the heat of a fight.

next is from like there isn’t something missing <3

But you’re crying into his chest because it’s not you, and it’s not him. Seungcheol wonders if it was always meant to be like this, if the two of you were always meant to part or if something… if something just went wrong, somewhere. A bump that did a bit more damage than either of you thought.

He tries not to think about it now. Tears fill his own eyes as he presses a kiss to your hair because he loved you. He truly did.

“I was so lucky to love you,” he murmurs, voice a cracked whisper. “I’m so happy I got the chance.”

When Seungcheol wakes up the next morning in an empty bed, he’s not surprised. But the Post-It note that’s dressed in your handwriting…

Well. It’s over.

and this last one from only for you, i will dance !!

“This will always be our own time,” he says. “We’ll meet here.”

You know. He says it every time. It never fails to make your heart soar.

“Our thirteenth month,” you say, just like every time. Chan smiles.

He kisses you so strong you feel yourself falling.

16. a quote from an unpublished story

ahh ok ill do a few here too!!! one is something ive begun writing, the other is one that i’ve just been working on planning out <3

Smoke blows past somebody else’s lips and partially obstructs Wonwoo’s view of you.

He hasn’t been to a party like this in a long time. It’s elegant, more of a gala than anything. He can’t remember who threw it or for what reason. It doesn’t really matter, he supposes, watching you make conversation with the partygoers. They all have old money to throw around, the symbolism stitched into their suit jackets and red-rimmed heels; remnants of it left on tables and in the contents of expensive cigars.

You play them like you are one of them, tell them the right things with a silver tongue. Wonwoo always watches, plays the part of an observer. It’s impressive, the way you float around the room like it’s nothing.

Wonwoo observes; Wonwoo knows things.

and the second one...

"you don't know me," you respond. your voice carries no bite, just a fact, and joshua knows this

"i want to," he says after a second. "if you'll let me."

and he's asking permission to be your friend, to be close to you, something so tender and strangely polite

it makes you feel almost sad

"don't expect too much," you say, a little teasing. joshua only smiles

17. space for you to say something to your readers

wahhh thank you all so much!!! when i first got into writing for kpop it was a lot different mostly because i think... i was writing stuff for different anime before, and i had built up a big following because of that and my works always did like, really exceptional in terms of notes and feedback and such, and getting into kpop... has been rough on that end 💀 but i appreciate your support thus far, even if it’s small... i’m still working towards a standard that i have for myself!!! so please be patient with me, thank you for the support !!

also please find it in yourself to leave lil comments or any sort of feedback... please..... PLEASE... any creator ever understands this struggle please always try to do this!!! for me and for any other creator you follow and enjoy content from <333

#wah these things r so fun. cries #tag games #adi speaks

[wherevermyway]

step out! do what you want (chapter seven)

pairings: reader/bang chan, reader/han jisung side pairings: 
established changbin/minho, reader/bang chan/han jisung, possible bang chan/han jisung rating: explicit | 18+ warnings: graphic descriptions of violence, near-death experiences, discussion of death, drug usage to cope with emotions, profanity, discussion of pregnancy, drug dealer!au, organized crime!au. also: FEELINGS. word count: about 5,480 also can be found on my AO3 here! chapter/series navigation

chapter seven: before it breaks in half and then we bend it back again

recommended tracks: I’ll be your reason by illenium, in your arms by illenium, everything I wanted by billie eilish, when I was older by billie eilish, back to u by slander and william black, hope world by j-hope, slow dancing in the dark by joji, everything in its right place by radiohead, moon by krrum. playlist can be found here!

note: dunno about y’all but i'm still really upset over chapter six, so i’m sorry if you are too :’) there’s a lot of feelings regarding the death that I’m trying to wrap up in this chapter. couldn’t really make traditional Korean rites work the way they’re generally presented, so if the inaccuracy bothers you, I’m sorry! also I was a little baked writing some of these parts so if it’s too existential, my bad lol.

disclaimer: any reference to persons in this work of fiction are purely coincidental. the characters referenced from Stray Kids are interpretations loosely based on their personalities in the group and do not represent the real people behind the personas. if this, or any of the content included in the warnings above make you uncomfortable, please stop reading now.

side note: for the love of minho’s cats, don’t mix party drugs or drugs with alcohol.

There was one time, when you were seven years old, your mother had taken you down to Fukuoka to visit your grandparents. You were close to the harbour, slipping out of her vision for just a moment when the waves pulled up on the coast and sucked you in. The warmth that took over your body as you fell out of consciousness was welcoming, like receiving the deepest hug of your life. It had taken over you, from the tips of your toes and dissipating with a tingle in your forehead.

When you were pulled from the water, brought back from the entrance of purgatory, however, you felt miserable. You could have sworn you felt the oxygen enter every cell in your body, coming back from death. Everything ached and burned, abruptly springing back to life.

Your eyes ripped open, staring into the clouds above you. White flower petals were gusting along with the wind. The burning you felt in your chest and your arms was familiar to the time you experienced as a child: jarring, making you start to panic. It felt as though lava was coursing through your veins.

“- is too elevated, I can’t -“ a familiar voice travels around your head. You know the voice, but you can’t place exactly who it is. “- sats are - “ the voice cuts out as you notice someone stab your wrist with a branding iron, hot fluid burning its way up your arm. The voice says your name, it echoing around in the space between your ears for a minute. “ - alright, but it’s going to -“

The darkness envelopes you in an instant, drawing you back to the empty space in your head, where you’re not sure consciousness really exists. “You don’t want to be here,” a familiar voice whispers from in front of you. You’re unable to picture the shape that’s clouding your vision, still lost in trying to place the voice.

“Trust me,” the voice says again. You’re about to open your mouth to say something, but you find it impossible to get your muscles to move. “You don’t want to be here. Go back.”

You can’t help but think why you’re here, how you’re here. “I need you to trust me,” the voice says again, getting further and further away from you. “It’s not your time yet.”

Your eyes tear open again, and you’re now in a sterile, white room, the sound of machines humming and trilling in the background. Two weights pull you down on either side of you: Jisung and Christopher, each holding one of your hands, resting at your sides.

You make a pointed effort to shift your shoulders, muscles adjusting for what feels like the first time in ages. A deep, throaty groan comes up from your lungs as you shift, and it startles Jisung awake.

“Oh my god,” he sleepily breathes out, shaking his head as he grabs your face, “Bunny, you’re back, oh my god!” Christopher starts to shift, and Jisung slaps his shoulder a couple of times. “Chan, wake up! She’s back!”

Christopher wastes no time shaking himself awake, grabbing your shoulders and pulling you into him.

“Ow, ow, ow,” you grumble, unable to really express the burning sensation taking over your body. “Hurts, that hurts.”

“I’m sorry,” Christopher gasps, releasing you from his grip. He stares at you with a look of disbelief and exhaustion painted over his face. “You’re finally back.”

“What are you talking about?” You shake your head, somehow pulling your arm out of invisible cement and gripping your hair. “What happened? Where am I?” Christopher and Jisung look at each other, Jisung making an effort to bite his lip and look back down to the bed.

“It’s been a month, baby.” Christopher interlaces his fingers in yours, reaching his free hand up to your face. “You’ve been out for a month and we had no idea if you were even going to come back.”

It had been a week exactly since Changbin took a bullet for you. Minho spent a lot of time on the couch, staring out the window and clearly contemplating life. He looked like he lost a couple of kilograms in just a few days, his cheeks sunken in and his face an ashy grey.  Felix came over a few times to try and get him to take care of himself, hooking him up to IV fluids every other day.

Minho would end up yelling at him every time he was hooked up to the IV. “I just want you to put me out and leave me alone,” he said, tossing a fistful of plastic packaging at his junior. “I’m tired of fucking dealing with this. Just keep me out until the funeral, alright?”

Felix would sigh under his breath, eventually pushing a couple vials of liquid into Minho’s IV, causing him to collapse within himself in seconds. “I can’t keep doing this to him, hyung.” Felix looked up at Christopher, his eyes clearly drained of energy and emotion. “It’s not ethical, for one, but it’s mostly not fair to Lee-hyung. He’s got to address this at some point. You know that.”

Christopher leans up against the wall, sighing heavily. “I know,” he whispered, “I’m thankful for all of the work you’ve been doing with him, though, Felix. You’re an asset to us.”

Felix dips his head in appreciation, but clearly still has something on his mind. “Hyung,” he presses, but Christopher waves his hand in the air.

“I know,” he says, walking to Felix and leaning down in front of him. “You’re absolutely correct. I need him at his best before I can figure out what to do with the family. It’s out of respect to Changbin; Minho knew the organization best after him, just because of his proximity. Once I can get that information from him, I’ll know how to handle this. All of this.”

Jisung shifts uncomfortably on the couch next to you, biting his lip. “Do you know what we’re doing with Hyunjin?”

Christopher opens his mouth to speak, but he interrupts himself before he says anything. Felix chimes in for him, however, “Seungmin has been handling him during the day. We got the location of a couple Triad hotspots in Seoul and Busan, but he didn’t know as much as we had hoped. He’s been really broken up over Seo-hyung, so he’s not talking much.”

Christopher rolls his eyes, scoffing. “I can’t believe the nerve of this bastard.” Felix nods, peeling off the nitrile gloves from his hands.

“I’ve got the propofol, I just need you to give the word,” the bleach-blond man says under his breath. You’re not sure if he’s serious, but the look that Christopher gives Felix as he says that makes your blood run cold.

“You’re too eager,” he simply says. “Hyunjin may have royally fucked up, but he’s still a brother. We decide what to do together.”

Jisung throws his hands up in the air, falling into the back of the couch and sighing in frustration. “We have two days, right? That’s when it’s happening?” Christopher nods his head, turning to look at Minho.

“Yeah. Minho said he wanted it on a Saturday, so that’s when it’s going to happen.” Christopher stands up, moving to cover Minho with a blanket and helps adjust him to a more comfortable position. “He’s been trying to get a hold of Changbin’s family all week, but no dice. Once we joined the family, he tried to distance himself as much as possible. He hasn’t even spoken with his sister in three years.”

Christopher sits down on the couch at Minho’s feet, right in front of Felix. “I wish he didn’t have to go through this. I know he’s been having a hard time with the family since the Shanghai incident, ready to leave everything behind just so he and Changbin could have lived a quiet life somewhere else.” Christopher lets out a soft scoff, then rubs Minho’s leg.

“He got really mad at me not long before I met you,” he says, looking at you with a half-smile, “Changbin was scolding me, telling me I was wasting my time in the family, that I needed to find someone like Minho so I had a reason to leave. We were at my apartment, laying on the floor in the studio and smoking a joint, recording some instrumentals that came to us. Then he just drops that on me, saying I should leave. We were too old to get any real benefit from the group anymore.

“He was upset, telling me that Minho wanted to settle down with him, but they were too deep into the family to really explore it as a real option.” Christopher continues to rub Minho’s leg, the younger man shifting in his sleep beneath him. “Changbin never let himself express emotions - especially not love - in front of anyone but me. He even had a hard time with me. I remember him telling me that he had fallen for Minho right after the Shanghai incident. He was pacing in my apartment for a good hour, working up the courage to tell me.

“I remember he panicked. He was pulling the hair out of his head, starting to tear up when he told me. ‘I’m in love with this guy,’ he said, ‘and I know it’s inappropriate and I know I shouldn’t, he took a fuckin’ bullet for me.’” Christopher smiles a bit, bringing his hand up to Minho’s face, brushing his hair to the side. “Changbin would keep panicking, telling me he was overthinking everything and he was convinced that there was no way Minho would even like him like that. But then, he started noticing. Minho would say things during recovery. He’d look at him for a moment too long, he’d touch him for a split second longer than he intended.”

Christopher smiles a bit wider. “Then it happened. Changbin had gotten Minho to walk a hundred metres. Minho collapsed in his arms, so excited over his achievement. He was so excited and happy, he didn’t care that he had fallen, because Changbin was there to help him. And Changbin just did it - he kissed Minho. Kissed him quite a bit, is what he told me.

“I remember he was so upset, because everything felt so right. But he got Minho back up to his bed and left him, too ashamed to show his face around him again.” Christopher runs his hand through his hair, still staring at the man below him with a smile. “Minho called me while Changbin was at my apartment, panicking - he always has really good timing. Changbin pretended like he wasn’t there, wasn’t watching my every movement and reaction as Minho talked in my ear.

“Minho was annoyed, but not surprised, ‘Changbin just does this,’ he told me. ‘Freaks out, then hides, and gets all embarrassed over how embarrassed he is. Bet he’s redder than a beet and freaking out over this.’ And he was right, Changbin was curled up on the couch, hands in his hair, face a real deep shade of red.

“He told me to tell Changbin to stop freaking out, that he had a feeling he was there and was pretending to blend into the background. He’d be waiting for him as long as it took, that he wasn’t mad.”

Jisung makes an effort to hide him rubbing his eyes, but you manage to see him out of the corner of your eye. You pull him into your chest and grip him tightly. “I was mad,” Minho sleepily grumbles, shifting from underneath Christopher. “I really was, though. Mad he kept it all in. Mad he didn’t trust me. Mad he kissed me and left. Mad he was going to shove his feelings under the rug again. Wasn’t fair to himself.”

“H-hey,” Christopher says, a look of discomfort passing over his face, “how long have you been listening?”

“Long enough,” Minho rubs his eyes, sighing, and adjusting himself to stare up at the ceiling. “I knew some shit like this was going to happen eventually. Bin was always stubborn when it came to you guys, saying you annoyed the shit out of him more than his actual family. Hell,” he scoffs, turning his head to look at Christopher, “you were his family, as far as he was concerned. I was always worried I was gonna lose him to you, that he had some deep-seated, secret crush on you.”

Christopher’s face shifts, probably understanding why Minho would feel that way. “He always said you weren’t his type and he wasn’t your type. That you kissed once when you got really drunk in high school together and it was weird and awkward. You’d swore to never talk about it again, but you loved him anyways. Always supported him.”

“Yeah,” Christopher says with a laugh as he rubs his eyes. “Changbin was always the best friend I never knew I needed. He never judged me or nagged me about dumb shit I did. He would say ‘just stay positive, it’ll work out eventually.’ And he was right, every single time. Man,” he reached out to Minho, grabbing his kneecap, “he loved the hell out of you, though.”

Minho scoffs, rolling his eyes, “Oh, I know. He always tried to act tough in front of you guys, especially when I was around, but when it was just the two of us?”

“He was totally different, wasn’t he?” Christopher says with a smirk.

“Yeah,” Minho nods, closing his eyes. “Night and day. It’d be just the two of us and he’d do the cutest shit. We’d curl up on the couch and watch old romantic comedies. He always made himself seem a lot tougher than he was, but he was always the little spoon when we’d cuddle up to each other. Always fell asleep with his head on my chest. Wouldn’t let me go to bed if he thought I was mad at him, because he always said it was important to never go to bed angry. He’d take up the whole bed and huff and puff until I reassured him I wasn’t mad at him.”

Christopher suddenly pulls Minho into his chest, holding him tightly for a couple of moments. It takes a minute, but you notice them both crying quietly against each other. Felix gets up, throwing his gloves into the kitchen rubbish before leaning over the sink. Jisung makes a pointed effort not to look at you as he digs his face into your chest, wrapping his arms around your ribcage.

The guys have a moment to themselves, letting them grieve however they felt the need to. It felt like the energy in the room was different. You finally understood just how close everyone really was to each other, that they really did view themselves as family, that it wasn’t just an empty title. Changbin was the one that brought them all together in one way or another, and now he was gone. Someone would have to fill those shoes eventually, but that wasn’t important right now.

Minho deeply inhales, lifting his head up dramatically, and looking at Felix. “Lix,” he says, motioning for him to come closer, “I’ve been horrible to you all week.”

“Yeah,” Felix sniffs, nodding his head as he walks to the couch, kneeling down in front his senior, “you’ve been pretty terrible, but I don’t blame you, hyung.”

“No,” Minho grumbles, grabbing his junior with a firm grip and pulling him into his chest, “it’s not okay. I’m really sorry for treating you so terribly when you’ve been taking good care of me. We’re lucky to have you. Changbin knew what he was doing when he picked you.”

Felix scoffs, then makes an affirmative nod. “Changbin was always good at letting me feel needed in the group. He told me a couple weeks ago that he was glad I joined up with everyone, that we needed someone smart and dedicated.”

“Yeah,” Minho laughs, “that time that you were training Sungie, though, that was great.”

Jisung perks his head up, pulling one of the throw pillows out from behind you, tossing it over at Minho. “Hyung!” He shouts, his face puffing up in frustration as he whines, “Why are you always so mean to me?”

Minho laughs, playfully tossing the pillow back at him. “You’re always comedic relief. If you don’t like it, stop doing silly shit.”

Saturday morning came faster than you anticipated. The day was supposed to be simple, just a celebration of life at Cheonggyecheon with you and all of the members of the family. It was to be low-key and subtle. Minho said he wanted it to seem as nonchalant as possible, that people walking by wouldn’t really pinpoint it as a funeral. “Changbin hated unwanted attention,” he said.

Minho kept a portrait of Changbin in the breast pocket of his jacket, only pulling it out for a brief moment when he was recounting Changbin’s life, keeping it only in his line of sight. Flowers were blooming all around the stream site, petals occasionally being lifted by the wind, dancing around your small group, decorating you all in white.

Everything was going as expected. You all looked normal, making sure not to stick out in any way, but you should have known that having a gathering in downtown Seoul was a stupid plan. When bullets started flying from the bridge across from you, you weren’t surprised. When you got shot a few times, you still weren’t surprised.

“Oh,” you remember saying as you collapsed into the ground. “Interesting.”

The pain was only there for a moment as you were pulled away from the brink of death by Felix, then it dissipated quickly when everything turned to black. That voice from earlier was talking to you again, but you couldn’t understand what it was saying.

“Who are you?” You had asked the voice that spoke to you. It was familiar enough for you to pinpoint it as someone you knew, but you couldn’t remember who exactly it was. “Why am I here? Why are you here?” You had said to the nothingness, not actually expecting a response.

“You know who I am,” the voice responded, “and I know that you don’t belong here. That’s what matters.”

“Why?”

“It’s just not your time,” the voice pressed, getting further away from you. “Tell them I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold on. It just wasn’t in the cards, I guess.”

“Tell who? What are you talking about?” Your voice sounded frail, weaker somehow. “I’ve been here before, haven’t I?”

“Yeah,” the voice calmly reassures you, “this happens when you’re at death’s door. You got shot a couple times. Felix was working on you, bringing you back. But you can’t seem to make up your mind, if you want to stay or if you want to go.” The voice scoffs, sighing in annoyance. “Make up your fuckin’ mind already, would you? Be glad you got the option.”

“What?” The voice was starting to make more sense, but somehow still drifting further off into space. Was that who you thought it was? What the hell was his name?

“Go back. Christopher and Jisung need you. Hell,” he scoffs again, “Minho could use you, too. He likes something about you. Told me you’d be good friends eventually. I can see it now, of course. But you need to go back. Get out of here.”

“Wait a minute,” you say, trying to reach your hand out into the darkness, but nothing happens. “I know you. I remember you.”

“Yeah, you do, but you’re running out of time. Get out of here. Seriously, stop coming back here before I kill you myself.”

The voice dissipates, and you gasp loudly, opening your eyes. You’re in a bright white room, the trilling and beeping of machines replacing the voice that was in your head. Christopher and Jisung are on either side of you, staring at you in shock. That’s when it hits you: you have been here before. You talked with the voice before, too.

“Oh my god,” Jisung gasps, tears falling from his eyes as he grabs your legs. “You need to stop doing this. I can’t handle you doing this anymore.”

Christopher sighs heavily, staring at the monitors behind you with determination before he grabs your face and stares directly in your eyes. “Please stop doing that,” he says, his eyes starting to water. “You keep dying on us and I can’t handle it, either.”

“What?” You blink your eyes rapidly, your body growing heavy as you come to. “What are you talking about?”

Christopher takes in a deep breath, and Jisung crawls up next to you on your hospital bed. “Sung,” he presses and grabs Jisung’s wrist, “let her rest comfortably.”

“No,” he says with a slight quiver to his voice as he starts sobbing and chattering uncontrollably, “I can’t handle any more of this. Changbin-hyung’s gone, we almost lost her, you’ve been shot enough already, and we almost lost Minho and Seungmin. I’m not going to sit idly by and watch. I can’t lose anyone else. I just can’t. So, I’m sorry if I’m not handling this the way you want me to.”

Christopher sighs, then reaches his hand out to stroke Jisung’s hair. “Fine, Sungie, that’s fine. Just don’t cause problems, alright?”

“So,” you say, enjoying Jisung’s warmth as you clear your throat, “what happened?”

You had woken up briefly before, a couple weeks ago. It was a month after you had gotten shot at the funeral site. Christopher had explained it before, but you started to decline within a few hours of waking up, slipping in and out of consciousness. There was a point where you were comatose and intubated. He mentioned there was a point where you were bleeding, but it all blurred together.

There were a handful of doctors and nurses that came in to check on you, taking care of you as you needed. Felix came in at one point, concerned about some of the things he had seen on your labs, mentioning that he needed to talk to you about the next time you were conscious - if you regained consciousness, that was. He was acting as a neutral proxy for your healthcare, since there was no one that could legally speak for you.

Jisung made an offhanded comment that Christopher had yelled at Felix for the way he was handling your care, but Felix was trying to be as ethically consistent as possible. His first priority was to do no harm, and then comforting the family would come second. Neither Felix nor Christopher were trying to be cold about it on purpose. Christopher had been on edge since you slipped from consciousness the last time, and was unfairly taking it out on the first person he could.

“It made me realize,” he said, pulling his chair up closer to you, as he grabbed your hand, rubbing it on his face. “I love you. I really, honestly do.”

Jisung lifts his head off of your shoulder, turning to look at you with wide eyes. “You what?” He turned back to Christopher, cocking his head in disbelief. “Did I just hear you say that correctly?”

“Yeah,” Christopher says, softly, as the tears threatening to spill earlier finally fall from his eyes. “I love you, alright? Losing Changbin, then almost losing you made me realize it. I thought I felt it the day we lost Changbin, but I really, truly realized it when we almost lost you.” Christopher rolls his eyes up to Jisung, sighing deeply as he closes his eyes. “I guess I love you, too, in some weird way. Maybe not in the exact same way, but, you know, that’s not what matters. You’re important to me. We can figure it out as we go, right?”

Jisung kind of short-circuits for a minute, his head cocking to one side, then to the other side. He sputters incoherently a few times as words try to come to him, but don’t quite make it to fruition.

“I’m glad,” Christopher starts to speak again, “that we worked out the way we did. I remember thinking it was a really stupid idea when you brought it up, that Jisung wouldn’t be able to handle it, that he would panic or something.” Jisung glares at Christopher, about to quip something in response, but he’s cut off as Christopher continues.

“Hell, I should have been worried I couldn’t handle it. You two work so well together,” he says, looking at you and smiling, “and being able to be a part of this, to be a part of what you have, is just what I needed. Changbin always told me I was too hasty and protective in relationships, that I would need someone who could handle that but still challenge me.”

He flits his eyes to Jisung, grabbing one of his hands, bringing both of your hands together. “I was really horrible to you at the beginning, wasn’t I? Treated you as if you were some threat to a piece of property I felt entitled to, which is completely inappropriate. I shouldn’t have acted that way to either of you. I’m honestly so sorry that I acted the way that I did. Can you forgive me?”

Jisung scoffs, “Yeah, you were pretty rude. But I knew that about you, I mean, I put it aside when we started with this relationship, didn���t I?” Christopher nods his head, kind of humming to himself as he gets distracted by a thought. “I forgive you, though,” Jisung continues, a serious tone to his voice. “I know you were just being you, hyung.”

Christopher is about to make a comment, but the door to your hospital room opens. Felix walks in, his face perking up as he sees you completely conscious. “Well,” he says with a laugh, “look who took long enough and finally woke up.” Christopher turns his head over his shoulder, looking at Felix as he walks in.

“How are you feeling?” Felix continues, walking up to look at your monitors, pulling the paper feed from your EKG. “You’ve been circling the drain for the past couple weeks. I’m surprised you pulled through.”

“Yeah,” you say with a cough, adjusting the way you were seated, “I feel pretty terrible, I won’t lie. I feel like I’ve been a science experiment: poked, prodded, experimented on.”

Felix nods, looking at you, before turning his shoulder to the men behind you. “I need to talk with you about something. Alone, preferably.”

“Come on,” Jisung whines, grabbing you a little tighter, “she just came back. What happens if she slips out of consciousness again?”

“It’ll only take a moment,” the bleach-blond man reassures Jisung, turning to look at Christopher. “I promise.”

Christopher sits up, clearly displeased with the situation. He takes a second, then stands. “Come on, Sung,” he says, offering a hand to his junior. “It’s only fair. If you were in the same situation, I’m sure you’d want to be afforded the same respect.”

Jisung pouts, but does get up. “Fine,” he says, taking Christopher’s hand and standing up off of the bed. “But only for a bit, alright? She just came back to us.”

Felix bows his head slightly as the men leave the room. “I don’t want to alarm you,” he says, crouching down to be at eye level with you. He grabs your hands to comfort you. “But something on your labs concerned me when you first got here. I had the nurses pull some more blood to confirm, but,” he trails off, looking away from you.

“What?”

“When you were first admitted, you had detectable levels of hCG in your blood.” It took you a second, but the realization hit you and it hit you hard. The way Felix phrased his sentence so carefully made you worry.

“Had?” You press, sitting up a little and grabbing Felix’s hand a little tighter. “Does that mean…?”

“I’m sorry,” he says, looking up at you and grabbing your hands a bit tighter. “I had the nurses run your labs again just to make sure because you started bleeding profusely after you lost consciousness the second time. It didn’t make sense, not at first. I’ve been able to keep it hidden from Christopher and Jisung, but I knew I couldn’t keep it from you when you finally woke up.” He says your name softly, giving you a weak smile as he grips your hand. “I’m so sorry to come to you with this so soon after you came back.”

The two of you sat there in silence, staring at the thin blanket covering you. It seemed like it was an eternity as the realization that you were pregnant, and then suddenly weren’t washed over you. You hadn’t noticed you were crying until Felix wiped your face up with a tissue. He apologized again, just as Christopher and Jisung walked into the room.

“Sorry,” Jisung says in his usual chipper voice, “I was impatient and… what happened? Oh my god, are you okay? Bunny?” He hastily makes his way right back to your side, grabbing your face.

“What happened?” Christopher says coming up to your side, right next to Felix. “What’s the matter?”

“Do you want me to tell them?” Felix calmly asks you, rubbing his thumb on your hand. “I can tell them for you, or we can just ignore it for now.”

Christopher clearly doesn’t like that response. He grips Felix by the collar of his shirt, pulling him to his feet. “What happened?” Felix bites his lip, looking at you over his shoulder. “You’re talking to me, now, Lee.”

“It’s not your decision, hyung,” he says, squinting as he knows he’s only fuelling the fire. “I’m sorry, but you need to respect that and-“

“It’s nothing,” you say, the words falling from your lips before you can even really register it. “I mean, it’s not nothing, it was something, and now it’s nothing.”

“What are you talking about?” Christopher releases his grip on Felix’s collar, looking at you with concern. “What do you mean it was something and now it’s nothing? Why are you crying?”

You look at Jisung, then to Christopher, and sigh. You close your eyes in defeat and tilt your head down, trying to shrink yourself to make this all seem so much smaller, insignificant. If you treated it that way, it would hurt less, right?

“I was pregnant.” The words just slip out, quiet and concise. They have a taste of sterility and have a foreign texture as they leave your lips. “And now I’m not. That’s all. Something, now it’s nothing.”

“Oh my god,” Jisung says, collapsing at the side of your bed.  Christopher’s face falls in disbelief, and he says something in English, something you can’t pick up, and he grabs your face, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

“What?” Is all you can hear him say before you slip from consciousness, sinking into his arms. You expect to hear Changbin’s voice again, but it doesn’t greet you this time. You’re only greeted with the black void and nothingness.

#step out do what you want #wherevermyway #stray kids fics #skz fics #bang chan x reader #han jisung x reader #chan x jisung x reader #bang chan x han jisung x reader #seo changbin x lee minho #changbin x minho #i can't stop writing emotional shit oops #i really recommend the playlist this time for max feels