#tws for:

[laegolas]

Yesterday I realized that I survived an emotionally abusive living situation. I’ve been out of that place for about a year now but it’s taken me this long to realize because all of the resources and the rhetoric talks about romantic partners and family - for me it was a friend and housemate. I know it’s been said a million times but I’ll add my voice to it: abuse doesn’t have to be physical, and it’s not limited to family and partners.

If someone consistently devalues your emotions - even if the way they phrase it is complimentary - (“you think very logically, you’re not emotional”, “I just feel my emotions deeper than you do”, “I can’t make time for your grief right now”) make sure to reflect and take some time to evaluate whether you are being cared for and listened to, or if you are being used. If the only place you feel safe letting emotions out is when you are in your room or alone, and you find yourself saying yes to things you really don’t want to do or holding back in the things you really want to say, then I encourage you to find someone you trust and tell them that - even if it’s inconvenient, or you really don’t want to burden them.

I guarantee you and your emotions and your wants and desires are so so worthy of being valued. Your needs are important. You are so, so important and amazing and wonderful and worthy of love and trust and time.

#this isn’t what I normally post I’m sorry #tws for: #abuse #emotional abuse #it was a complex situation too bc it was technically more than one person and I created that environment #but it needs to be shared #anyway #I doubt anyone will but feel free to rb this #this could also be hella specific and happen to no one else but if even one person happens to come across this and is in the same #situation I was #then it’s worth it

[locus-p0cus]

//suicidal ideation, hallucinations, implied/referenced child neglect, Tommyinnit's Exile Arc In General, Major Character Death (?)

(A Character Study With Far Too Much Metaphor)

(Aka, Tommy becomes a Match Girl™)



It was snowing when Tommy died.

For someone who had been supposedly born in the Antarctic wastes of Earth SMP, he certainly wasn't used to the cold. Not like he was used to sunburns and blisters, from explosions or just exposure only Prime knows. Even what little of his memories left to comfort him blistered with heat, something closer to burning than anything safe.

Sometimes he wishes he could go back. Even if it sets him aflame, he wishes he could bask in that warm glow just a little longer. Just to know it was real.

He can't go back. Technoblade's house doesn't count, Techno isn't real warmth. He’s embers at best- burning to the touch, but drawing Tommy ever closer in hope of something gentle- at worst he’s raging, a forest fire raining hell down on anyone unlucky enough to stand in his path.

No, Techno didn't count. Even if on the day Tommy found his cabin, when the snow hadn't yet graced the surrounding wastes, his house had reminded him of the fire that used to be there. The hearth they all used to sit around, safe, protected, comforted.

The hearth is only embers now, and Tommy is running through frozen plains, ready to be burned picking them up.

He trudges through the snow, limbs aching and foot completely numb. He's used to a slight loss of feeling in his toes, nerves damaged from standing at the edge of the holes Dream made- standing too close to explosions must run in the family- but this was something new. Where the ball of his foot usually feels tingly, as if poked with a needle just enough to feel it, now it's his whole left foot, hollowed out and filled with static that penetrates the skin and sends the cold slithering deeper into his bones.

He remembers the first snow after the Antarctic Empire had disbanded, Wilbur struggling to fit a giants gloves on his tiny hands, frustration growing quickly as they fell off every time he looked away. Tommy would squirm, eager to play out in the fluff with no regard for the aftermath. Eventually he ran off, forgoing the gloves altogether, much to Wilbur's dismay.

'Now look what you've done,' Wilbur said, plucking Tommy out of a snow bank like a lost puppy to hold close to his chest. 'This is why we need the gloves, Tommy. I bet your hands burn, huh?'

Tommy, teary eyed and red in the face, nodded. 'Make it better!'

Wilbur snorted out his nose, fogging up his glasses. 'I can't just make it better Toms. I'm not magic. You have to wear the gloves to keep your hands from going all weird. If you had listened to me you'd be fine!'

Tommy whined, attempting to bury his face in Wilbur's neck as best he could around Wilbur's scarf. 'Sorry. It hurts.'

Wilbur just hummed sympathetically. 'Here, let's go inside. We can thaw you out in there, and then maybe we can come back out with gloves on this time.' Tommy was whisked away, back into the cabin, and sat in front of the fire where his hands protested the violent difference in temperature. He'd stayed there all the same, so eager to make Wilbur proud.

It was always like that with Wilbur, he mused as he felt the familiar burn in his fingertips spread to his ears and feet, dancing up his leg dangerously. Keeping him happy had been like trying to herd a cloud of smoke from one room to another without breathing it in. At least when he was young the smoke had been a sign of the cabin's hearth, a place to run to rather than from. It was only later, when Pogtopia turned the Hearth's smoke to an ugly blackened thing, one of paranoia and cigar ash and the hiss of a lit fuse, that Tommy noticed just how much had got into his lungs. Secondhand smoke was a serious issue, Niki had always reminded him when Wilbur was just within earshot, close enough to hear but far enough to feel unnoticed.

It never mattered. Pogtopia held smoke like a tank held water, letting it fester and seep into every breath, and Wilbur's bad habits never died. It made Tommy's job easy, just keep the smoke from smothering the fire, from putting out the last of the flame. Such a simple job, with such an overwhelming consequence. He'd thought, at the 16th, that maybe in L'manburg the air would clear up a bit, be drained of its rot and hate until it was just the call of the fire again.

And then Philza, summer breeze that he was, elusive and barely there, came and blew Wilbur away. He drifted in, unaware and unwelcome, and sent black smoke into the burning sky. And then Wilbur was gone.

Ghostbur is hardly a wisp of what the smoke used to be, safer to breath but thin as paper. Wilbur had been a promise, if a broken promise, of fire. Ghostbur is the drifting remains of a snuffed candle.

Tommy doesn't know if he will ever get the soot out of his lungs.

He's stopped shivering now. Something like Techno's voice, or maybe Phil's or even Niki's, tells him that's very bad. That if he doesn't get inside soon, he'll-

He'll what?

Tommy stares blankly at his hands through the whispered beginnings of a blizzard. The tips, normally grey from soot or dirt, are an elegant lavender-blue. He can't feel his nose, or his ears or his hands. Through his, soaked, stained, tattered excuse for trousers, he can see frost crawling up his leg like a magnificent frozen spiderweb.

If he makes it to Techno's cabin, maybe the man will share his potions, and maybe it'll save his final life, and then maybe he'll be allowed to stay and then maybe Dream won't find him and then- what?

He hides in a house of embers forever, until it inevitably burns down? He never sees his home, his nation, ever again? He leaves his disks, his only solid reminder of the early days of L'manburg, in the hands of his abuser? He lives being burned and burned, and burned, never finding a hearth to lie down next to?

He never sees Wilbur again, and just- accepts this fate?

He reaches the edges of a forest, spiraling aspen trees blending into the snow as it starts to fall. He puts one hand against the nearest trunk, and feels nothing but static.

His head is hazy, limbs weak. His skin is dotted with bruises and burns and frostbite, like someone took the prettiest shades of blue and raked them across their ugliest red canvas. What had seemed so hard, nearly inconceivable mere hours ago at the top of that tower, feels so easy now. And it is.

It is so easy to collapse against an aspen tree, slide to the ground and lean back against the bark. It is so easy to watch the snow build up around him, covering him in a fresh blanket like the storm is tucking him in. It is so easy, to let go, to finally, finally, give in. Give up. Let his spark dwindle and dim.

There are tears frozen to his cheeks. He would wipe them away if he had the energy, if he cared what some fox or wolf found while looking for a winter snack in these woods.

The burning is nearly gone now. He can't feel the aching scars left by so many ruined hearths, he can't feel the wind that bit at his cheeks and arms, he can't feel the blaze of hurt the snow and the world had pierced through his core, drowning out the last of his spark.

Tommy giggles deliriously. The snow has built past his elbows, now. After this blizzard, he won't be found til spring, if anyone ever bothers to look for his body. They would probably be searching around the tower, if they did, and it would be quite the mystery as to how he ended up here if they ever found him.

Maybe he'd be on one of those true crime shows. Maybe someone would finally investigate Dream, and he would be falsely accused for Tommy's murder, or for trying to frame it as suicide.

He croaks out a laugh. Wilbur used to be obsessed with those shows. He'd make up the wildest stories for how the killer did it, or got away with it, or whatever the mystery part was. This seemed like something he'd come up with.

'Tommy,' he'd say, smiling in that way he did when he was about to spout bullshit, 'I bet you the kid just really wanted to die. Didn't go through with it at the tower- most jumpers want to back out as soon as they leap, did you know - but couldn't make it to safety through the blizzard, and sort of gave up.'

"That's stupid," Tommy says, the wind whipping his words away from even his own ears, "It was clearly the green guy's fault. Killed him at the tower and tried to hide the body in the blizzard, huh? Rightfully put away, I'd say."

'It was definitely his fault,' Wilbur agrees, the smoke billowing off him, 'But he wasn't killed. He was abused, right? Driven near out of his mind? He goes up to the tower, takes the step off, and has that moment of 'ah fuck, I was wrong- I gotta live to spite this guy-' but once he's in the snowstorm, he's almost to the cabin but gets sad again and gives up. Lies down, leaves himself to become one with the snow.'

Tommy snickers, floating hazily just inside his body as the snow builds ever higher. "That's so fucked, man," He huffed, "You need professional help. Why would you put him right next to the cabin? You coulda said he was too far away to get help."

Wilbur's voice grows quieter. 'He was almost there,' the wind breathes, 'If he had screamed, they would have heard him. He could have made it.'

He sniffles. "Don’t say that. Please.”

“Tommy?”

Tommy turns his face away, neck creaking from the cold. “Say he couldn't have made it. Say it was too late. He was too far gone."

The smoke churns, the snow builds, and Wilbur just smiles. 'You were so close. You almost did it, Tommy.'

"Stop,"

"Tommy, please-"

"Leave me alone." He breathes, shutting his eyes. The snowflakes on his eyelashes don't melt against his skin. "Go away."

Something barely there, like a ghostly slime, presses urgently against his face. "Tommy I'm sorry, you have to wake up- please, please-"

The pleading fades to buzzing in his ears, only a few words picked up through the cotton in his ears. "Technoblade- friend- hold on- I'll get- stay- please-"

'Tommy? Did you forget your gloves again?' A voice beckons from somewhere in the white. "I bet your hands are burning, huh?'

Tommy blinks down at his hands. They're covered in unmelted snow, blue and grey and blazing through his nerves. He sobs. "Please," he breathes. "Make it better."

Wilbur's hands, smoky white and pleasantly cool, curl around his with a gentle squeeze. 'Of course, Toms. Let's go thaw you out, okay? We'll be careful, take our time with it.'

Tommy nods incoherently, and he's picked up out of the snowbank and held to a broad chest, trenchcoat dusted with snow instead of ash. 'I've got you, sunshine,' He says, and Tommy lets himself drift off in his arms, ready to be carried to the Hearth.



A wail rips through the forest, and the blizzard flurries onward, past the final spark it has snuffed out.

#so uh #yeah #have this i guess #did I write this during the last few hours of christmas #yes #why #only prime knows #dsmp #mcyt #tommyinnit #tommyinnit centric #fanfic #dsmpblr #dsmp fanfic #fanfiction #tws for: #suicidal ideation #suicidal thoughts #hallucinations #frostbite #mentions of burns and injuries #injuries #Tomminnit Exile Arc #major character death #death

[ray-kitty]

I had to say goodbye to my oldest kitty today, Ginger. I just wanted to make a post so other people could see how cute and wonderful she was. She got to 18 years old, and did well right up until the end. She was really wonderful, and I'm going to miss her a lot. She was really sweet. And loved her food, and being brushed. We kept some of her fur and will be getting impressions of her paws. Some of my favorite things about her are that one of her feet was orange, and when you would snuggle her she would wrap her tail around you like she was snuggling back. She really loved being wrapped up in blankets to keep her warm. Rest in Peace, Sweetpea. 2005-9/16/22

#tws for: #cat death #pet death #i hope those are the right tags so anyone who has them blacklisted can be okay #i dont know if anyone reads my tags but im just going to talk a little #ill probably be making and posting memorial art whenever i feel brave enough to draw it #i wasnt surprised by this but it wasnt easy either way. she likely had liver cancer and it was starting to get worse #so we had to make that decision and all #she had a good last day though all things considered. she got some chicken and had a lot of cuddles. #it was hard to say goodbye this morning #im going to be okay ultimately. but im really struggling right now #i hope shes okay now and is with pepper. #thanks in advance if anyone sends nice thoughts or at least thinks of her a little today #i didnt make it rebloggable because i dont really want random people just reblogging this. i guess it would just feel weird

[sailing-ever-west]

graph of what being hungry is like with adhd

#i still havent eaten i made this graph instead #adhd #audhd #tw food #time blindness #executive dysfunction

[everlastingrandom]

got blood work done today and i just remembered a time i got blood work done as a teen. after the nurse drew like 6 vials of the stuff, i asked him “is all that mine?” and he said “not anymore” and walked off

#blood tw #I was so shook that he just up and left with my blood

[blimbo-buddy]

got my hands on a field guide of californian bugs and i found that there's this one bee species in southern california that looks like this

(Actual bugs under the cut, CW for insects)

#blimmy art #cw insects #cw bugs #scopophobia tw #eye contact

[elfguys]

this is the best video ive seen in my goddamn life

#flashing tw

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

#tw alcohol #resident evil #twitter #meme #memes #tweets #tweet #funny #lol #humor

[skipppppy]

Something about FNAF 3 and Fazbear Frights taking place in 2023 in our current social media landscape

(part 2)

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf 3 #fazbear frights #william afton #springtrap #unreality tw

[dumpsterf11re]

#dungeon meshi #tw blood #july says things #july draws things #my art #marcille #chilchuck #fanart

[miss-galaxy-turtle]

Jew here with a friendly reminder that:

Criticizing Isreal ≠ antisemetic

Supporting Palestine ≠ antisemitic

Believing in the Free Palestine cause ≠ antisemitic

BUT ALSO

A random ass Jew just living their life oceans away has nothing to do with the Isreal-Palestine conflict

Palestinian Jews exist

Jews that support Palestine exist (I am one of them)

Calling out ACTUAL antisemitism ≠ supporting Isreal

#can't believe i still have to say this #isreal #palestine #free palestine #isreal palestine conflict #jewish #jewblr #antisemitism tw

[feefal]

Final girl - the horror movie heroine who remains alive against all odds🩸🔪

#drawing #artists on tumblr #illustration #digital art #procreate #blood tw #horror tw

[powdermelonkeg]

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

#anxiety #long post #i have been an adult for the better part of a decade and it has gotten SO much easier as i internalized these #swearing tw

[pirateprincessjess]

Men are being very normal about the new Godzilla design

#something being pink shouldn’t make you this mad #I’ve had to delete so many comments about “Godzilla being woke now it is unhinged #chill #TW transphobia #transphobia

[illithussy]

reddit is still free. also tbh good riddance for the op

edit for everyone who is confused: shart is shadowheart, people shorten her name that way as a joke on reddit

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #reddit #homophobia tw

[wildbasil]

things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

#personal #comics #tw abuse #digital art #personal comic #for the record no i don't think my mother loves me #but the idea that she did kept me in an awful situation for a very long time #the number of times people said “she's your mother. she's trying her best. of course she loves you” etc etc #but i don't think “love” and abuse are mutually exclusive #like even if someone DOES love you it doesn't mean it's not abuse and it doesn't mean it's ok #art tag