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iamnotthere-idonotdie · 2 months

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dream of me

part five: interlude

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synopsis: reader is dealing with the trauma of being kidnapped by the joker, they go to an event with bruce

content: bruce wayne x reader, no smut, mention of blood, beginning describes a frightening nightmare and causes a panic attack for protagonist, mention of traumatic events that characters went through (kidnapped, tortured, nearly killed), ptsd symptoms

a/n: this chapter is shorter than my last ones i think so i’m kind of treating it as an interlude into the next phase of this story. i also wanted to play with alfred’s character a bit too so i tried to incorporate him more. i couldn’t think of much else to write for this part so this is where i’m leaving it, but there will be more parts to come. sorry for ooc things for bruce and alfred, as well as if some of this isn’t canon, and of course i apologize for inevitable typos.

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the concrete is cold and hard. the light above your head is harsh and hurts your eyes. the rope is tight around your wrist and ankles. you scream for help but the only sound that comes out is a raspy wheeze. you sense a figure behind you. it’s him. you feel his dark presence looming over you as he slowly circles you and stops right in front. he leans in toward your face and smiles. he starts to laugh, but it grows louder and more high pitched until you’re sure your ears are bleeding from the demonic screeching. his eyes start to turn black and his teeth grow sharper until they’re practically just hundreds of needles coming out of his blood red gums. his smile stretches across his face wider and wider until his head is almost split in half. his hands reach for your throat and you try to scream again, to no avail. this is how you die.

your eyes burst open and your cheeks are wet from tears. as you sit up and try to catch your breath, you feel bruce’s hands wrapping around your shoulders.

“hey, hey it was a dream, it was a nightmare. it’s okay, i’m here. you’re here, not there. breathe in with me… and breathe out. breathe in… and out. in… and out. in… out…”

you finally start to steady your heart rate. the tears continue flowing, but you’ve just about caught your breath now. bruce gently wipes the tears off your cheeks and cradles your face with his hands.

“do you want to talk about it?”

you just shake your head. you can’t bring yourself to describe it out loud. it was beyond a nightmare. it was a memory. a horrible, disgusting, warped memory.

“okay, i understand. just keep breathing with me. here,” he grabs your hand and sets it on his bare chest. “feel that. feel me. i’m here.”

you look up into his eyes and see concern, hurt, sympathy, love. you hope he sees love from your eyes too.

it’s been four weeks now since the incident. since you were kidnapped, tortured, nearly killed. and everyday has been a different form of struggle. bruce has helped, but even he has his limitations. and his own struggles as well. being the batman brings about a different level anxiety, especially now that you know. every time he goes out, every night he puts the suit and mask on, your chest tightens and your hands shake until he returns.

and your hands are still shaking now as you continue trying to calm down. bruce puts his arms around you again and holds you close to him. you two just sit there for a while, in silence, with him holding you and the tears flowing. this isn’t the first time you’ve been pulled out of sleep by a memory of what happened, and you know it won’t be the last. nearly every time you close your eyes, your slumber is ripped from your clutches. you never manage to find it again. you’re not even going to try tonight. you and bruce just lay back down, his arms still cradling your body in a warm embrace. neither of you find sleep again, as the glow of morning peaks through the curtains. you just want to stay there in bed, with bruce, for as long as you can. with him you actually find some peace. your mind actually finds some quiet comfort. you wish you could be here all day with him.

you haven’t gone back to work since. bruce has gone in a few times in these weeks, but he tries to handle as much as he can at home. still, he’s been avoiding this event later today for a while and won’t admit that he really does need to go to it. it’s to announce a new free lunch program for all gotham schools, something he’s been hoping to do for long time. he needs to go. you finally break the long silence as you think more about it.

“what time is the event today?”

bruce sighs. “it starts at 4 o’clock.”

you glance over at the clock on the nightstand, its numbers glowing to show that he has about 7 hours until he needs to be there.

“i don’t think i’m going to go.”

you turn to him with furrowed brows.

“you have to go.”

“i don’t feel right leaving you. and i wouldn’t want to ask you to come, i know you don’t want to.”

you don’t want to, but you will if it means he does.

“i can go.”

“no, you don’t need to. i don’t want…”

“what?”

“i don’t want you to go if it’ll be too hard for you.”

“why would it be too hard for me?”

“it’s… it’s only been a few weeks. and there’ll be a lot of people there, reporters and the like. and they’ll all probably want to ask you questions about what happened. i don’t want you to have to go through that, to talk about things you don’t want to talk about. i just want you to be okay.”

“…i will be okay.”

bruce just sighs. the truth is… you’re not sure if you will be. and you know what he’s saying. though your body has healed, your mind hasn’t. and that many people, that many questions…

“still, i’ve barely left the house in days. i’m going through a lot and i know you are too, but i’m not as fragile as you think i am. i’m just… still working on putting myself back together.”

bruce leans in and kisses you.

“i know, i just want you to be alright.”

“i will be.”

“just… you need to promise me that if anything happens and you need to leave, you tell me, and we’ll go.”

“i promise.”

you kiss again and turn back over. you and bruce continue to lie there under the covers, staring through the crack in the curtains and out the window at the continuously brightening sky.

after a while you start to hear bruce’s snores behind you. you let him sleep for hours, knowing he had a late night and could use the rest. he finally wakes and the two of you make your way downstairs. alfred has already made lunch and you smell coffee brewing. it’s later than when you usually drink it, but you need the caffeine after last night. you sit at the kitchen table with bruce and quietly chat about the food, the weather, the event in a few hours. it’s nice conversation, but you can feel a tension between you and you know he’s still concerned about it. he just doesn’t want to press it any further. a small part of you wishes that he would. that he’d talk to you more about it. that you wouldn’t be forced into small talk. he finishes his meal quickly and goes downstairs to the basement where he says he needs to work on some things before the event. you know he just wants to be alone, so you don’t follow. alfred stands at the sink cleaning the dishes.

“so, you’ll be going to the event today as well then?” he turns to look at you with a concerned look.

“yes, i could use the social interaction, i think.”

“it may be good to get out a bit. i think it’d be good for bruce as well. he’s never liked going to things of this nature, but you being there helps him quite a bit.”

“he’s just concerned i won’t be okay. i know i might get overwhelmed, but i don’t think he understands how much i worry about him too.”

“i worry as well.”

you pause for a moment and think more about bruce, about his life at night and how concerned you constantly are now for him.

“how do you do it, alfred? how do you go every night knowing he’s out there in danger? it’s only been a few weeks since i’ve known and i don’t think i’ve slept a full night.”

you know it’s also because the night terrors that you haven’t been able to rest, but the added stressor of bruce being the batman has definitely taken its toll on your sleep schedule.

“i just have to trust that he’s capable of staying as safe as he can. and, to be truthful, i haven’t had a full night’s sleep in years.”

“yeah… i know he’s capable. i’ve seen how well he can take care of himself. but…”

“i know, dear. however, i am glad he has someone else to be concerned about it.”

you smile a bit at that.

“i don’t want to air out his dirty laundry, but i have seen how he had been with others. and… he never looked at them the way he looks at you.” you lock eyes with alfred and he gives you a smile. “he has someone to fight for now.”

you look down at the table, and you can’t help but feel a warmth in your chest.

“he loves you. probably more than he’s loved anybody. and i think this feeling is new for him.”

“it’s new for me too. i’ve never felt more safe, more at peace with someone before. as stressful as this life is.”

alfred chuckles.

“yes, it’s quite a lot to take in, i’m sure. i know it was for me.”

“what was it like when he first told you he was going to do this?”

“it took quite a while for me to get comfortable with it, and i’m still not sure i am. as i said, i trust he is capable, but… he’s still my boy. when he lost his parents and even before, he was my boy. of course i worry and i hope he’s not being reckless. but, because of you, he has something to live for. you being in his life definitely brings me more comfort. maybe i’ll one day be able to sleep a full night.”

you feel tears in your eyes and realize that as much as you may mean to bruce, you would be lost without him. and you were.

“when i left, when i moved to california for those few months, i very quickly learned that i need him. i need him to survive.”

alfred looks at you with tears in his eyes as well.

“you need each other.”

you exchange smiles.

“he’s been there for me, despite his own struggles and pain, he’s been there for me. every restless night, every painful memory… every moment he’s been there since what happened. i don’t know how i’d be able to heal without him. but the worst part is i know he blames himself for it.”

“he blamed himself for his parents as well. but he’s a fighter. every day he’s fought, and now he fights for you.”

“he fights for you too, alfred. you’ve always been there, in his corner.”

“i try to be.”

“you are. i hope you know how much you mean to him, and to me as well.”

alfred slowly turns off the faucet and comes to sit at the seat next to you. he holds your hands in his and smiles.

“bruce and i were alone for so long… you are a part of this little family now.”

a tear rolls down your cheek and you hug him.

“thank you, alfred.” you sniffle and he chuckles a bit. “you know, you remind me a lot of my father.”

he laughs lightly again and wipes the tear off your cheek.

“i’m just so glad you found us.”

this little family. as small as it may seem, it has been an astronomical time being a part of it. everything has changed so drastically, so quickly. it’s been the most grueling and most intense experience as you’ve stepped into a reality you didn’t even know existed, let alone bargained for. but you wouldn’t trade it for anything. because while it has been beyond difficult, it’s been the most rewarding and beautiful life you’ve conjured with both of them. with this new little family, you’ve found hope, peace, and love you never thought you’d be able to have. and you know if you left you’d never find it again.

a hole was in your chest that you didn’t know needed filling. a key was placed in a door you didn’t know was keeping everything you needed out. a warmth was brought into your life when all you’d known was the frigid cold of pain. and though pain will continue to come, you now have a fighting chance against it.

you head back upstairs and begin your preparations for the event. you still have a few hours, but you need to ensure you’ll be okay to go. you shower, select an outfit, and then just sit at the window, sipping coffee, and mentally preparing yourself for what’s to come. bruce comes in too from downstairs and showers as well. as you two begin getting dressed, him tying his tie and you buttoning your shirt, you feel yourself getting more and more relaxed for the event. with bruce there, by your side, you know you’ll be okay.

“ready?” bruce asks as he takes your hand.

“ready.”

he walks you downstairs and to the car where alfred is already waiting to drive you. the ride is long and quiet with bruce still holding your hand.

and though the camera flashes and the reporters’ incessant yelling for you and bruce overwhelm you, bruce is there. always there, holding your hand. you make your way across the room with him to the stage where he’ll give his speech, and he steps up to the podium to announce the new program. his way with words is inspiring and confident and the raucous applause isn’t a surprise to you when he completes his speech. before he can come back down to you again, a reporter shoves a microphone in your face.

“can you give us a statement on what happened to you? what was it like being kidnapped by the joker? how did the batman get to you so fast? where did—“

“that’s enough.” bruce steps in between you and the reporter. “we won’t be speaking about that tonight.”

“but if i could just get a quick statement—“

“i said that’s enough.” bruce’s tone is forceful and he looks at the reporter with anger in his eyes.

the man with the microphone reluctantly walks away and bruce turns to you.

“are you okay?” his eyes still show anger and concern.

“yeah i… i just didn’t know what to say to him.”

“you don’t have to say anything to anyone. we’re leaving.”

“we don’t have to go…”

“no, there’ll be more like him who won’t take no for an answer as easily.” he grabs your hand and leads you out of the hall and to the car. you and bruce get in and alfred takes you home. although you were really doing fine, you’re glad to be back in the quiet living room as bruce lights a fire and alfred makes you tea.

“thank you, for being there for me. i wouldn’t have been able to get through that without your support.” you sip the hot tea as bruce sits down next to you.

“i wouldn’t have been able to do it without you either.” he gives you a kiss and you curl up next to him on the sofa. these moments are the ones that bring you peace. comfort. when everything around you is chaotic and capable of breaking you at any time, bruce is there to put the pieces back in place. and you hope to god he always will be. you were more honest with alfred today than you even realized: you truly do need him to survive.

after a while, the fire gets less bright, the tea in your cup has run out, and your eyelids begin to get heavier. bruce notices your tiredness and helps guide you upstairs to bed, where he lies with you for a while until he needs to leave. he gives you one more kiss goodbye before heading downstairs where he’ll put on his cowl and take his bike out for patrol. when he steps out of the room and shuts the door, you let yourself close your eyes and try to find sleep. before you can even realize you’re growing deeper and deeper into slumber, you’re asleep. and, somehow, you stay asleep until morning. it’s the first night in weeks you’ve slept through and you can’t help but feel a small sense of relief that maybe things are falling back into place as they should. that maybe your broken pieces are finally starting to mend again. bruce notices this accomplishment as well.

“did you sleep through the whole night? you didn’t have any nightmares while i was here.”

“yeah, i did. no nightmares.”

bruce holds your face in his hand and kisses you gently. as his lips touch yours, you can’t help but reminisce about how you met. it’s amazing how much things have changed since then. what started as a partnership between colleagues quickly evolved into relationship between two people in love. you didn’t know that when you were making that first pitch in that small conference room that you’d be embarking on a journey that few can say they’ve ventured. this kind of love is rare, and you know that. which is why it’s so important to you that you keep it. you ran away once before, and you’ll be dammed if you try and let go of bruce again. he’s your light, your comfort, your everything. despite his stressful and dangerous life, despite everything that’s happened since being with him, you somehow feel an overwhelming and irrefutable peace when he’s near.

an abyss sat ahead of you, an abyss that beckoned for you to jump into. an abyss that scared you, and still does. and yet, you dove into it head first. and as you continue to fall deeper into it, you know now that it is a rabbit hole, leading into a wonderland of love and family that you never even dreamt of. and you’ll do everything you can to forever stay there.

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tags: @christianbalefanatic

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#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne #batman #batman x reader #fanfic #alfred pennyworth #my writing #pictures from pinterest #my fic #dc #dc comics #the joker #tw #tw mention of death #tw mentions of blood #tw mention of needles #tw mental health #tw trauma

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ayyy-imma-ninja · 4 months

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Hello, are you the person who made the dca!sk au? If so, I hope you don't mind if I do a ask and say: Sun kinda reminds me of "The Dismemberment Song" a little bit, ngl. Especially in the "Rib Tickler" comic where he told the person that they were squirmy. Sorta reminded me of the song, lol. Also, speaking of the "Rib Tickler" comic, did Sun count shaking as not holding still? I noticed that while he was counting, the person had noticeable shake marks around them (I would be shaking a lot too if I were them!) And I guessed Sun counted that as moving (on second thought, this might be a dumb question) perhaps they were meant to loose? Because he knew they wouldn't be able to stop shaking due to the fear and pain? But then again, he said, "I swear you're doing this on purpose" did he mean the person was moving to agitate him? Also, do they have rules against Rulebreakers about swearing in the basement during their "sessions," or, can they say what they want? (I know Sun and Moon can swear while there). Do Sun and Moon have any rules for the Rulebreakers to follow in the basement, and if they don't follow said rules will that further add to their punishment? Has Sun or Moon ever talked to a Rulebreaker on the "outside" before their "basement session?" If so, what'd they say? What's Sun's other favorite "games" to play with Rulebreakers? Do kids of some of the parents they kill ever say to Sun (or Moon) that they miss thier parent because what they thought they were doing to them was how they "loved" them? Have they ever had kids whose parent was a Rulebreaker, and the kid looks just like them it's almost creepy? (Espically if the Rulebreaker parent is already dead). Have you ever had two Rulebreaker parents, and did a double sesssion, where Moon had one, Sun had the other? Or would they "share" them? What if a Rulebreaker keeps passing out because of injuries or something else? Do Sun and Moon do adrenalin needles, a bucket of cold water, a slap to the face, etc, to pull them out of unconsciousness, especially if the "session" wasn't over and one of them didn't get to go? Does Sun usually go first and Moon go second? Have they ever had a Rulebreaker that would need to take something at a certain time otherwise it'll be life threatening, before their session was over, so they gave it to them reluctantly to extend their time with them?

Apologies if you're not the person and I'm bombarding you with stuff you don't know the answers to. But either way, thank you for reading my post! And if you're the right person, thank you so much for taking the time to answer all this, I kind of went on a extended tangent there, and I hope to hear from you soon!

Hello, yes I am! :D

"The Dismemberment Song" certainly does fit Sun in a way. He likes to go into detail about how he intends to carry out his work X3

Just as he and Moon like to play games. And in regards to the comic, Sun knew his game would be unfair. Of course someone can't keep still if their bruised and broken ribcage is being touched, it's practically impossible. Sun knows this, but Rulebreakers don't deserve fairness. Sun and Moon have no respect for Rulebreakers and will openly mock them because they both know it's more than what they deserve.

Every game a Rulebreaker plays is a game they are always meant to lose.

Rulebreakers can swear all they want; but if Sun or Moon decide they've said enough, either of them can easily silence them.

That's about as much as I can answer, it's a little difficult reading the rest of the questions QwQ but thank you for asking and showing interest in this AU!

#answered ask #dca!serial killer au #serial killer duo #sk boys #serial killer sun #serial killer moon #rulebreakers #tw mention of torture #torture #cw torture #cw mention of needles #tw mention of needles #needles

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bear-cubs-art-things · 11 months

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Good luck with the vaccine!

(it's not very scary to me but it hurts very bad)

If there's one thing I hate more than clowns, it's needles.

Clowns are just creepy looking (like the bday clowns and stuff-). Needles are downright terrifying.

Like, this small tiny thin piece of metal is PIERCING THRU YOUR GODDAMN SKIN INJECTING GOD KNOWS WHAT INTO YOUR SYSTEM

I know they're vaccines but still. Needles.

And this is why I'm iffy to get a second piercing in my ears. I want double piercing but needlesss 💀💀💀💀

#bear answers #tw needles #tw mention of needles #I hate needles smmmm aughhhhh #LIKE THIS THIN METAL SHIT PIERCING YOUR SKIN!!!! IS THAT NOT UNSETTLING???

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samijami · 1 year

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CodeBreaker!Chara: you piece of shit-

Binary!Frisk: 😟

CodeBreaker!Chara: NO I DIDN'T MEAN IT-

CodeBreaker!Chara: I'm a good sibling.

Binary!Frisk: *screaming as Chara literally beats the fuck out of them trying to jab em with a needle*

CodeBreaker!Chara: I try to be a good sibling.

#tw mention of needles #tw needles #mention of needles #needles #CodeBreaker!Chara #Binary!Frisk #chaos #lol #idk

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awe-zzie · 2 years

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WOULD YOU LIKE A [[ pipis ]] IN THIS TRYING [[Half off sale limited time only]]

- 🔵

i would like a five hour energy shot injected directly into my veins.

#how the hell do i tag this bc i think it's going to fuck someone up #tw medical #tw injections #tw mention of needles #? uhhhhhhh #tw drug use joke

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thespacecowb0y · 1 year

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Been a hot minute since I’ve posted. I’ve been in the hospital for the last three months to only go home for two weeks to then be sent back into the hospital and admitted for an unknown amount of time I have spent more time in the hospital than inside my own home as of this year so far. I have been poked so many times that even when they walk in to come do a IV I scream I cry, and at this point, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do because they refused to knock me out. They refused to sedate me I just have to sit there and scream, and they’re aware that I’m chronically ill. They’re aware I am suffering chronic pain. I had a central line, but the doctors decided to take it out because they had no plans for it. It’s very frustrating to be told that you’re going to get better and everything is going to be OK when at the moment everything is not OK everything is not getting better. I’m only getting worse and makes me feel inferior to everyone. I feel like I’m useless, and even being stuck in the hospital it makes me feel even more useless I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. Life is not fair I want to fucking die

#tw hospital #tw medical #tw mention of needles #disabled #cripplepunk #chronicallyill #chronicfatigue #chronicpain #personal vent #vent post #vent #trauma vent

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factual-fantasy · 7 months

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Okay so I did some research on Seam and realized that it would be a crime to not add him to my AU in someway where him and Jevil reconcile and they escape to the multiverse together and are free and they're best friends and- 😭😭😭

I had a dark story all thought up for this but half way through drawing I changed the story so this isn't really canon anymore?? Or it might be idk- my Deltarune AU is only a few days into development so its constantly changing <XDD Sorry-

If anyone's interested in the story I've got it below the Keep reading :}} (Fair warning, its rather dark and disturbing..)

TLDR: This story is super dark and interesting to me but it might not be canon XD

ANYWAYS! The story behind this was Jevil and Seam come from a very dark and corrupt AU. Ruled by an even darker and wicked King (Lancers dad). In this AU they were Kings royal Magician and Jester as per usual. They were best friends though and preformed these beautiful displays of magic together. Side by side, hand in hand. They were best friends for years and always dreamed of one day running away together and finding a safe place to live.

Eventually Jevil met someone. Someone who spoke of a way to leave this place. They spoke of walking through your own reflection. And if done right, one could leave their AU entirely.. Jevil believed them out of desperation and tried to tell Seam about it. Seam thought Jevil was losing his mind. Walking through your own reflection? That makes no sense..

King caught wind of them plotting to escape. And as punishment to both of them he commanded Seam to lock Jevil away using his own magic.

In Seams eyes, Jevil was his best friend. His brother, the only thing in this world that he could trust. But he was more afraid of what King would do to him or Jevil for disobeying him, then he was willing to stand up against him. So while believing Jevil was sick in the head and needed help, he acted out of cowardice and sealed Jevil away..

I'm thinking that eventually sometime later, Jevil is able to escape through his own reflection. A mirror. And either he goes back and sees Seam dressed in these beautiful robes and thinks "well the king must be treating him well. Guess I'll just leave him to reap the benefits of betraying me.. >:(" And leaves with a bitter heart. THAT, or he just left. Never going back to check on Seam or see if King was treating him well or not.

So the AU continues. With Jevil traveling from world to world, meeting new people and learning new things.. When eventually he's with the whole gang and they're all sitting in a restaurant or something.

When Jevil suddenly feels this overwhelming sense of doom. Something horrible is about to happen to Seam. He just knows it, its in his bones. Deep within his soul he can feel it. He knows- he needs to save him.

He falls back out of his chair into a mirror and heads straight for his old AU. Showing up just in time to stop Seam from.. well..

They end up talking. Turns out that after Jevil was imprisoned, Seam tried to sneak down to the basement and visit him. He wanted to apologize for imprisoning him and explain himself- but he was caught by King.

"I just wanted to see him!"

"For that I will take your eye."

"NO! Please don't take my eye!!"

"For talking back, I will take your voice too."

King took Seams eye and stitched his mouth shut. He could still talk but not very well. To make things worse, when Jevil escaped? Seam thought he had died. Why wouldn't he? His magical barrier was never broken and Jevil was gone. Surly he must have died somehow.. Meanwhile everyone else was under the impression that Seam let Jevil escape because they were friends.

Seam then suffered greatly for years as punishment for "letting Jevil escape". He was bound by these magical chains made by King. He was abused for years and at this point he had enough. But before he could do anything rash.. Jevil returned.

Jevil then felt the sinking horror realizing that he left Seam alone in this world to be abused by King. He abandoned him. After all those years of promising to one day run away together..

Seam betrayed Jevil, and Jevil abandoned Seam.

After realizing all of this and having a long emotional talk. Seam and Jevil deeply apologized to the other, and forgave each other. Marking the beginning of their new friendship. And despite Seam feeling like he doesn't deserve freedom, he agreed to run away with Jevil and finally be free with him.

~~~~

Now this story is super cool and morbid and all but now I'm questioning the story and wether or not I want it to be canon <XD

I have some other ideas that I really like too and this one is just a biiiiit dark... ish. I mean I've made worse- but idk I guess this one just has a bad taste to it..

I also like the idea that Seam has been with Jevil this whole time and was the first person he saved. Which motivated him to try and save other people and give them the same freedom that he gave to Seam. But then that would change the Grillby fight and Spamton situation a bit and also maybe effect the Goner kid situation- GAH!! I'll figure it out eventually- <XDD

I hope this wasn't too hard to stomach and if you read all the way through I thank you :}} 💖

#deltarune #jevil #seam deltarune #jevil and seam #tw mentions of abuse #tw suicide attempt #tw needles #tw implied suicide attempt #I know this thing is pretty messed up- if there are any tags that I should add PLEASE lmk #I don't wanna upset anyone but I'm really bad at tagging things-

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faeriekit · 1 month

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*kicks feet really cutely* 🥰 Hey 🥰 Hey gang 🥰 we're all up to date on our tetanus boosters, right?

#every ten years! Any pharmacy!#needles mention #medical tw #needles tw

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one-time-i-dreamt · 11 months

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Was going to get my wisdom teeth out and they went to stick a needle in my arm which apparently was the anesthesia? But it wasn’t working fast enough for the staff so they sent me home and said to come back when it started working.

#dream #body horror tw #teeth #teeth mention #teeth tw #needle #needle tw

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arya-skywalker · 4 months

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First off, the new sanders sides was amazing and fun and I loved it!

Second, I have a new headcanon: Remus does needle-felting.

Mr Fuzzy looks like it could have been at least partially made through that, and Remus would absolutely love an art form that involves repeatedly stabbing something with barbed needles.

#sanders sides #ts spoilers #sanders sides spoilers #remus sanders #sanders sides headcanon #tw needle mention

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ibrithir-was-here · 4 months

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(Hope it’s ok this one isn’t as polished, I wanted to get it out before the holiday)

Following up from this

#blood of my blood #Dracula #Quincey Harker #Lu holmwood #arthur holmwood #jack seward #holmward #dracula fanart #dracula fanfiction #tw needles #mentioned anyway #my art #please ignore Jack's disappearing glasses xD

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uncanny-tranny · 5 months

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When you're given the needles for injection HRT, you might be given two sizes for needles, or two sets.

A draw-up needle is what you will use to draw up the medicine into your syringe, and often you will use the larger of the needles in order to draw up the medicine if you're given two differently-sized gauged needles. When I first started testosterone, I was given a set of 18G needles and 20G needles, so I would use the 18G to draw up and the 20G to administer the medicine.

Remember that a SMALLER number is a LARGER needle, and a LARGER number is a SMALLER needle. An 18G needle is LARGER than a 20G needle, and so on. If you need clarification about injection, ask whomever is prescribing your medication to clarify which needles are intended for draw-ups and which will be administered into the body.

This might seem pretty arbitrary, but a smaller-gauged needle will feel differently than a larger needle. Now, I inject with a 23G needle, and I barely feel it compared to a 20G, and that can make it so much easier to take your medicine.

I wanted to make this post because I have seen many people have misconceptions about how an injection is supposed to hurt, and part of what can make an injection painful is the needle you are using.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #trans advice #needle tw #needle mention tw #saw somebody say they injected with 18G and it hurts them and i felt sick to my stomach reading that #i used to use 18G to draw up and it looked HUGE to me please 🤢#and hell i'm the one who LIKES needles well enough. but not when it's like that #hell a 20G needle looks big to me now that i use 23G to administer my T #needles tw #needles mention tw

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the-kr8tor · 8 months

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Knee Socks

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 4.5k

Tags: Use of Y/N sparingly, no specific physical description of the reader, bullying, blood, violence, food mentions, fluff.

Main Masterlist

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CHAPTER 3 >>> CHAPTER 4

Hobie converses with his friends, casually leaning on the playground's chain link fence, he's only eleven, that awkward stage where he thinks he's too old to use the slide, but still too young to be taken seriously by the older kids. He's too tall to be just eleven, almost a foot taller than his classmates, always mistaken for someone older, he takes it in stride, becoming his year's resident protector from would be bullies. His sheer height alone makes them stop in their tracks, not to mention his perseverance when the bully decides to fight Hobie, even if they're taller or bigger than him, he doesn't back down despite his lanky form and sometimes nerdy personality, wiping at his bleeding nose, he stands up, knuckles at the ready.

This alone makes Hobie an absolute legend in the playground. He doesn't care about that though, he just does what he thinks is right, and that's protecting those who cannot defend themselves.

The children playing stops in their tracks when a loud shriek rings out, ears perking at the difference of the sound from a happy playing yell. This one sounded like they were in pain, Hobie stomps towards the sound, the crowd parting for him.

He sees a bigger kid holding a smaller one by his ear, he recognizes the bully from his year, the smaller one seems like a year younger than him. The crowd around them gets bigger, some kids would be hollering for a fight, some could only watch. Before Hobie could run up to them, a flash of something pink hits the bully right on his forehead, causing him to let go, crouching and holding the bleeding cut it left behind.

You fearlessly strut up to him, screaming your tiny head off, "fuck off, Terrence!" You pick up the pink sketchbook from the ground, threatening to throw it again.

Hobie's eyes widened at your choice of word, not used to hearing it in the playground, he smirks at your bravery, especially that you're five times smaller than the bully. He watches as you shield the smaller kid from Terrence, book at the ready.

You look over your shoulder to look back at the younger kid on the ground, clutching at the shell of his ear, tears falling on his rosy cheeks. "You okay, Danny?"

With you distracted, Terrence finds the opportunity to grab you by the ankle, losing your balance and swiftly falling on your back, you let out a small pained sound. Hobie had enough of being a bystander, he runs up to the bully, punching him square in his face. Terrence doesn't back down, tackling Hobie, they both fall on the harsh gravel, Hobie shields his face from the oncoming punches while Terrence keeps aiming at his face.

You stand up, no time to dust yourself off, you yell a battle cry, flinging yourself on the bully's back, trying to get him off Hobie. Your small fists thump helplessly on the bigger kid's back. Suddenly the crowd parts, a couple of winded teachers arrive, one yanks you off Terrence, while the other stops him from punching Hobie. They hold you both back, like a couple of kittens trying to claw and scratch at each other.

"Enough!" One of the teachers yells out, Hobie sits up, a cut on his lip. Eyes watching as you don't let up from trying to kick Terrence's ass.

—

You sit on one of the school clinic's cot, an ice pack on your head, the condensation slides over your face, landing on the paper of your mangled sketchbook.

"Little shit" you murmur out, wiping at the water on your precious notebook.

The curtains separating the beds flings open, you jump from the sound of metal.

"Y'know you could get in trouble for that" Hobie looks at you, a similar ice pack over his cheek. He sits criss crossed on the bed, blanket pooling around him.

"You would know, of course" the previous anger still lingers, your usual shyness gone from your system.

"So you've heard of me?" He raises his brow, hissing when he moves it.

"Who hasn't heard of you? Here" you toss your ice pack over to his cot, "you look like you need it more" Hobie fumbles a bit before he finally catches it. He looks back at you, your face scrunched up in anger, brows knitted together, you look at the pink notebook like it'll spontaneously combust right in front of you.

"You look like Gromit, when you're mad" he brings your previous ice pack to his brow, the other held up to his cheek. "Y'know when he scrunches his face" you look at him angrily "like that!" He points out.

"Hey! You want a piece of me too?" It sounded much braver in your head, but with the fading adrenaline and anger, your shyness peeks back in, making your sentence sound meek.

Hobie holds up his hands, dropping the ice packs on the bed "nah, I can't fight you"

"Why? Just because I'm a girl?"

"Nope, I saw what you did to big Terry, thought you gave him brain damage" he pokes his temples. "I don't want that notebook flying at me, especially with that aim of yours"

"Fucker already has brain damage" you say softly, your shyness definitely creeping in, but you're still angry enough to swear.

"Where'd you learn to curse like that? You don't look like someone who swears"

"The telly" you shrug.

"That shit ain't good for you"

"You sound like an adult," you scrunch your nose "they always tell me I swear a lot when I'm mad. You swear too, y'know"

"I'm allowed" Hobie leans back, grinning.

"How are you allowed?" you ask, genuinely curious. Why is he allowed and you're not?

"I'm older" he says matter-of-fact.

"You're only a year older than me" you scoff, wincing when a sharp pain hits the back of your head.

Hobie hops down from the bed, quickly grabbing the ice packs. He moves towards you, sitting down, your sketchbook in the middle between you. He hands you the ice pack back, you give him a small thanks, hissing when the cold hits your skin.

"You alright? D'you want me to get the nurse?" He asks you as if he wasn't injured himself, looking worse than you.

"I'm fine, you look worse than me though"

"You draw?" Hobie doesn't acknowledge your last comment. He tries to take a peek at the pages, you clamp the book shut with lightning speed.

"I'm not showing you my sketchbook"

"Why not?"

"It's private! And I don't know you"

"Well, name's Hobie Brown" he extends his hand towards you "and you areee? Then you tell me your name, That's how this usually goes"

You narrow your eyes, "I know who you are" slapping his hand away but you tell him your name anyway, trying to be the polite one "Y/N, it's Y/N Y/L/N"

"Now we know each other, now can I?" His hand hovers over your notebook. "Damn, this looks like it's been trampled"

"Fucking Terrence" you seethe, sliding the book over to him. "Here"

"Fucking Terrence" Hobie smiles as he flips through your sketches.

—

Your mind goes back to the present when your familiar mug lands on your messy table, the content sloshes a bit to the sides.

"Careful!" You hold the mug, stopping its motion.

"Shit, sorry. You looked like Gromit there for a second" he chuckles, sitting down on your bed, a piece of biscuit in his mouth, the springs squeaking under his weight.

"Augh, you trying to bring back that nickname?" You take a sip, the warmth of the tea relaxes the aching muscles of your hand.

"It's always been there, Gromit" he lays down, swallowing the cookie, his chucks still on his feet.

You stand up immediately, cringing when his soles graze your bedsheets, grabbing his shoes off your bed "shoes off!" You struggle as Hobie watches on with a smirk "fuckin' take it off!"

"You're mad mad" he sits up, unlacing his shoes.

You put your hands on your hips, socked feet tapping impatiently. Hobie flings his shoes off, looking smugly at your annoyed face. He lays down, arms behind his head.

You narrow your eyes at him "awwe, are you tired?" You asked sarcastically.

"Yes, talking to you the entire day is tiring"

"You're not the one designing this thing" you gesture towards your table that's littered with crumpled papers, various designs pinned on your corkboard. Your hand cramps at the thought of drawing another line.

"Giving my opinion is tiring, why don't you rest for a bit, you're obviously knackered" he taps the space beside him. It wouldn't be the first time you've shared a bed, it's impossible that you haven't, being that you've been best friends for ten years. But you're still unsure, knowing that when you lie down (especially next to him) you won't get back to work again. But it doesn't mean that your heart doesn't skip a beat whenever you do share a bed, it practically stops in your chest until you two wake up.

Hobie sees your dilemma, knowing you wouldn't be able to work on your designs if you lie down next to him. "Come sit down at least" he finds a middle ground.

You sigh, surrendering, as long as you don't rest your head on your pillow you'll be fine, right? Sitting down, Hobie's legs props you up, preventing you from laying down completely.

You hum, leaning your entire weight over his legs, you can feel the rough material of his jeans on your back, your jumper doesn't provide much barrier from his warmth.

"Don't fall asleep" Hobie pokes your arm.

"Hard to when your bony legs are stabbing my back"

He moves his legs back, you fall halfway, head almost landing on his knees. You smack his arm playfully. Hobie predicts that you'll slap his chest next, he moves his arm shield himself. Lo and behold, that's where you hit him next.

"Fuck you, Wallace" despite your swearing, you grin widely, Hobie laughs at his old nickname, he keeps dodging your attacks, Hobie parries your hand, stopping it mid air. He holds your wrists in front of him, warm fingers wrap bracelets around them.

He laughs victoriously "who you callin' Wallace? Do I look like I'm bald?"

You try to get his grip off your wrist, pulling, but his grip is too strong–it doesn't hurt, it's the opposite actually, his grip on you provides comfort and stability. A laugh escapes you "you smile like him" he says it with you, copying your voice mockingly, already knowing that you'll say those exact words.

You roll your eyes, trying and failing to take your hands back, Hobie pulls you in, making you lean over his chest, your heart immediately jumping at the close proximity of his face from yours. Hobie didn't think this through enough, now he doesn't know what to do next. You both pause on your play fighting.

He watches your reaction, your lips slightly parted, pupils blown out. You do the same, cataloging every line on his face, eyes finding the familiar color of his iris, the late afternoon sun gleaming on his lip piercing. You quickly move your eyes back to his, realizing you've been staring at his lips, you swallow down your fear. You lay on top of him, frozen.

You exhale, breath fanning his face, your pulse thumping hard against Hobie's hand. He loosens his grip on your wrists, giving you time to pull away, but you don't so he slides his hands from your wrists over to your hands, fingers stopping at your clammy palms.

Hobie raises his head slowly to meet yours, his heart uncharacteristically beating hard on his chest. He realizes that his heart only acts this way around you. He can feel the dam straining against the overflowing water.

Knock

The sound breaks you both out of your daze, pushing away from each other, you avoid Hobie's gaze. While he looks at you longingly, chest heaving at what almost transpired.

Knock

You try to act nonchalantly, clearing your throat "yeah?"

"It's almost six! Get your visitor out" the dorm's RA yells out like a warden.

"Yeah, okay!" You give her a thumbs up, as if she can see you through the door. Hobie notices your awkwardness, taking it upon himself to break the awkward feeling.

"She doesn't have x-ray vision" He stops himself from touching your arm, hand landing back to his side.

You scoff, heat slowly leaving your cheeks "c'mon time to go home" you stand up, refraining from tapping his chest.

"We're not done yet" he sits up by his elbows, eyes following you gathering his stuff like a one night stand trying to get him out of your place.

You sigh "I don't think we can finish this today, Hobs" you say defeatedly "I mean look" you take a pinned sketch, showing it to Hobie. You both act like nothing happened, used to the almosts.

He looks at your sketch of him, drawn like a runway model, your design looks good, for him at least. Already sure whatever you make for him will be amazing. But judging from your pout he guesses it's not good enough for you.

"It looks good" he reassures you, "what's wrong with it?"

You drop his shoes back on the floor, stepping over it to sit back down on the bed. You hold the paper gingerly, noting every single line you've drawn. "There's something missing, it– I don't know" you groan.

"Make me understand then, they all look good enough for me" he gestures at your designs on the corkboard "I like the one with red on it"

"They all have a touch of red" you roll your eyes, "I don't know, they just– they have more Hobie in them, than of me y'know?"

He nods "yeah, I can see it, you need more bits of you in it"

"Mm-hmm, it's supposed to be a perfect blend of us both" you cross the barrier that you've put up between him, leaning your head on his chest.

"Yeah, it's like if we had a kid and they ended up lookin' like a clone of me" he looks at you teasingly, a smirk curling on his lips.

"Again, weird analogy, Hobs" you huff out.

He chuckles "D'you wanna rest or continue this at my place?" Hobie covers the top of your head with his palm, blanketing your scalp in his warmth.

Thinking for a second, you want to rest, but on the other hand, you need to keep working, you never know when both of your schedules will clear up, this is one of those rare times.

The loud knock echoes again, "your place, then" you look at him, cheek laying on his chest, hearing how his heart beats against your ear.

Hobie smiles, more than happy to spend more time with you.

—

You stop by a convenience store on the way to his place. The harsh white lights make you squint until your eyes adjust. Hobie grabs a basket, handing it to you.

"Such a gentleman" sarcasm dripping on your lips.

He walks backwards, winking at you, hands in his jean pockets. Hobie beelines for the frozen aisle, his chucks sliding against the tiled floor.

You sigh, already knowing what he'll grab. You take a couple of crisps, Hobie's favourite and yours. You bend down to grab a packet of biscuits, hearing a tinkling sound on your left, your eyebrows knit in confusion at the peeking green sock puppet.

"Hello there" You ask, thinking there's a kid playing around. You stand up, the small basket almost full.

"Hi" the puppet's mouth moves, but Hobie's voice comes out, you laugh at how he tried to hide his voice by making it higher pitched.

"Hobie, where'd you even get that?" You say in between airy laughs. You can't see where he is, Hobie's body is hidden behind a display of oatmeal, but you can clearly see his metal bracelet peeking out from under the puppet.

"Name's not Hobie, it's y/n, and I have a passion for fashion" the puppet's mouth moves dramatically as Hobie speaks.

You giggle at his antics, grabbing the puppet by its 'throat' "ack!" Hobie acts like he's choking. He moves in your line of sight, still making choking noises. The cashier looks at you weirdly, releasing your hand from the puppet.

You keep laughing, Hobie's smiles victoriously, getting the desired reaction from you. You clutch your hand over your stomach, heaving from laughing.

"You done?" Hobie is still speaking through the puppet, his throat aching from making his voice higher.

"Yep, you can stop making that voice" you smile, playing with the little bell strapped on the puppet, it rings softly at your touch.

"Thank fuck," Hobie clears his throat, speaking in his normal deep voice "they're selling these over there" he points to his right, using the puppet to point at it.

You see the bright display of different sock puppets, the bold letters reading 'all proceeds go to the children's hospital'

"It's cute, what even is it?"

Hobie moves the puppet from side to side, little yellow spikes on its head, a long tongue lolling on the side of its mouth. "I think it's supposed to be a dinosaur"

"Looks like it, but its tongue is too long to be a dinosaur, maybe it's a lizard?" You look at Hobie questioningly.

"Don't look at me, I don't know either" he shrugs.

"Whatever it is let's take it, he's kind of adorable, in a weird looking way" you take it from his hand, putting it inside your basket.

"Just like you" Hobie quips.

"Funny" you poke his chest. "You got the frozen pizza?"

"Nah, got distracted" Hobie walks towards the freezers, you follow closely behind, he flings the door open. You peek under his raised arm resting on the freezer door, looking at your choices.

"Four cheeses? Or overload?" You ask.

"You want me to shit myself?"

You giggle "right, lactose intolerant, forgot for a sec, overload it is. Thought you have lactaid?"

Hobie takes the frozen pizza box, bringing it to your cheeks, you jump away when the cold box hits your skin. "I ran out of it"

"Ass" you scoff, wiping away the condensation.

He laughs from his belly, putting the box inside the basket. Hobie grabs the heavy basket from you, happily giving it to him. He makes his way towards the cashier, you quickly grab a couple of canned soda from the freezer, catching up to Hobie.

The cashier gives you an annoyed look, probably because of the noises you two made. You look at him apologetically as he scans the items.

—

You arrive at his place, slightly shivering from the cold air that pricked you while in the back of Hobie's motorcycle. He gets off first, helping you with a steady hand.

"Remind me to bring a proper jacket next time we ride this late. Christ alive it's bloody freezing" you rub your arms, trying to get warm, your thin jacket isn't helping much to shield you from the cold.

Hobie takes off his leather jacket despite being only a few feet away from his place, he drapes it on you since your hands are full with the plastic bag of food. He holds your hands together breathing hot air into it, your heart swells at the small act.

"Why didn't you tell me you were cold? I could've stopped for a bit and handed you my jacket, you idiot" he grumbles out, still rubbing your hands warm.

"It was a short ride, Hobs. Besides we're here already you don't need to do this"

"Inside isn't any better, radiator's fucked since yesterday" he brings your hands to his mouth, blowing more warm air into your cold hands.

"Just my luck" your breathing stutters in your throat when Hobie looks at you through his lashes, lips dangerously close to your hands. "Let's just go inside, I'm hungry" you pull your hands away, already missing his warmth. Hobie looks at you like you grew a second head.

"Oven still works, right?" You clear your throat.

Hobie takes out his keys, opening the door for you "yeah, gas still works" he sniffs, the cold finally bothering him.

Entering the small house, you can hear the loud sound of the television, bright against the darkness of the modest living room. Ned and James play couch co-op of golden eye. James sees you standing awkwardly by the doorway, not paying attention to the screen, his character dies, making Ned annoyed.

"Come on, bruv! We can't pass this level with you dying every bloody minute" Ned follows James' stare, ending with you standing stiffly in front of the door, too awkward to walk in front of the telly, not wanting to disturb them. Hobie's behind you fumbling with the lock.

"Hi, sorry to drop in" you smile shyly.

Ned slaps the back of James' head "really? You got distracted?" He whisper-shouts, James jumps slightly in his seat, Ned quickly moves his neck to look at you, "It's alright, y/n! Make yourself at home"

"Thanks" you say, smiling sweetly.

"Oi, it's rude to stare" Hobie finally locks the rusty bolt, eyes staring at James.

" 'm not," he defends himself, thick Manchester accent rearing its head. "I was lookin' at the bag, is that pizza?" He acts interested in the contents of your bag.

Hobie side eyes Ned, having a non verbal conversation with him.

"I think there's enough for us four, where's Yuri? I still haven't thanked her for her help" you say.

"She's with her friends," Ned says.

Nodding, you walk towards the kitchen, Hobie not too far behind. "Have you talked to the landlord about the broken radiator, Hobs?"

"Don't need to, we're moving out anyway" Hobie replies nonchalantly, like it's old news to you.

"What?" You drop the plastic bag a little too hard on the counter. "What do you mean you're moving out? Where are you moving?" Fear creeps up to you.

"All of us are moving, actually" James pipes up from the couch, Ned elbows for him to shut up.

Hobie grabs a flyer from the fridge door, showing it to you. "Battle of the bands, our last show before we disband"

"You're gonna disband too?!" You look at Ned sitting on the couch, watching the interaction unfold. He replies for Hobie, seeing he might need some help explaining it to you.

"Sorry y/n, it's true. James and Yuri are off to uni, and I'm moving back to Richmond"

You look at Hobie sadly, knowing he'll be left behind by one of his oldest friends. You're well aware that Hobie doesn't like sticking to one band, moving on to a different team every few years, this doesn't surprise you, but Ned has been one of the few constants in his band, always his chosen bassist, and his oldest friend next to you.

Ned and James start their game again, giving you as much privacy as the small space can provide, trying to not listen to your obvious private conversation, they wish you two could just talk it out inside Hobie's room instead. Or better yet, just kiss about it, saving you both the energy.

Looking up at Hobie, eyes slightly watering at the thought of him being left behind, you'd never even thought of doing that to him. Of course you know he can handle himself, but you can't bear imagining him alone. Or maybe it's because you can't imagine going through life without him, turning out he'll be fine on his own without you. And you're the one who's projecting your fears towards Hobie.

Your lives have been intertwined since childhood, celebrating wins together, laughing and crying at the good and bad. You've been through almost everything together, it's hard to imagine your life before you met him, more so after your lives untangle from each other.

"When's the last gig?" You try to not let your emotions get to you, but your smile doesn't reach your eyes. Hobie sees through your charade, he holds your hand subtly, thumb rubbing circles over your palm.

"It'll be fine, love" I'll be fine, he wanted to say, but he swallows it down, tossing it over to the pile of all the unsaid words he wanted to say to you. "We've been planning it for awhile, just need to find a place and I'm good to go"

"You haven't found a place yet?" completely forgetting there are other people in the room with you, melting into his touch.

"Not yet, y'know me, always putting things off" he tangles his fingers through yours. "Once we win, I'll get enough to rent a place"

"I'll help you find a place" you squeeze his hand, he squeezes back three times.

"You givin' it for free? No need for me to punch out a hole in our card?" He teases you.

You roll your eyes "Don't push it, Hobart. But yes, you don't need to use our card for it" you joke, you would've helped him anyways, card or no card.

"Good, thanks Gromit" he smiles, reluctantly untangling your fingers from his. Hobie hands you the flyer, moving towards the counter to take out the food. With that your previous conversation ends, but your sadness and anxiety for what the future holds still lingers. Everything seems to change too fast, you don't think you're ready for any of it.

You smile softly at the nickname. Reading the contents of the advert– Battle of the bands at Oscorp Museum! your eyes widening when you gloss over the date on it. "Hobie, this concert is happening the day before our show"

"And? It's not on the same day" he takes out the puppet from the plastic.

"Yeah, but won't you be too..tired?" You ask.

Hobie huffs, taking the puppet off the counter, slipping it on your hand, you raise a brow at him "say what you really mean by 'tired' use the puppet to help" he crosses his arms over his chest.

You narrow your eyes, playing along, raising your arm halfway. You speak through the puppet, trying to talk with your mouth closed "won't you be too hungover?"

"There we go!" He claps "Thank you, y/n for the honesty"

"That wasn't me, that was the puppet"

"We have a real ventriloquist here, huh" Hobie takes out the frozen pizza from the box, slipping it inside the oven, he shuts the oven door closed "There won't be any alcohol in the venue, there's nothing to fucking drink"

"Sure" you say, still speaking through the puppet, rolling its head with your hand movements.

James whispers to Ned "they were all sweet to each other a second ago, now they're fighting"

"Reminds you of your parents huh?" Ned whispers back.

"Actually yeah, good eye"

Ned looks at him confused "not a compliment, bruv"

"Huh?"

"Nothin' what's up with the creepy puppet?"

Meanwhile, you continue to bicker with Hobie, the cold not helping with your attitude "You know I'm thinking of naming him Terrence, he looks like a Terry, right?" You make the puppet look at you, making it nod.

"Fuck off, after that Terry?"

"Yeah, we can tell exactly what we mean through Terry then we can both put the blame on him" you make the puppet nervously look at both of you.

"Fuckin' Terrence" Hobie remembers the bully.

"Exactly! Fuckin' Terrence" you both laugh, you don't even remember why you were fighting in the first place.

A/N: Thank you for reading! As always likes and reblogs are appreciated ❤️

*pictures above are from pinterest*

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