#trying not to find shame in my endeavours

[lxmelle]

Art meme - 6 old fictional crushes

I saw @slushy-sash post their impressive artwork the other day and I thought I’d give my rusty self a bit of time to sketch...

Guess I got bored halfway ;_;

It’s difficult not to compare with other artists, but I’m going to try and just be happy I managed to eke something out.

This was their post - go check it out!

#I couldn’t figure out layers so I drew some of them twice #doh #there were others that didn’t make the cut #I need practice and patience #my art #fushigi yuugi #chichiri #rukawa kaede #slam dunk #saitama #one punch man #hiei #yyh hiei #yu yu hakusho #sketch #black and white art #black leg sanji #sanji one piece #sanji #trowa barton #gundam wing #artists on tumblr #wannabe artist #trying not to find shame in my endeavours

[arc-misadventures]

What are those: wallow decided to go to beacon academy with winter to go see how wiess is doing but instead meet with jaune

The Dragon’s Diamond

A small bullhead flew through the air towards, Beacon Academy. It was a privately owned airship that belonged to the, Schnee Dust Company, and right now it was carrying an assortment of precious cargo: The daughter of the founder of the, SDC, Willow Schnee. Her eldest child, Winter Schnee. And a locked cased filled with diamonds of various sizes, and quality. At least what they assumed were diamonds. For they had come here to see if they were in fact real diamonds.

Winter: I’m sorry mother, but I must protest; Why did you have to come along to handle this simple endeavour; you could have simply handed over your, and my diamonds to, Klein, and let him handle it. Why did you have to come along?

Willow: I needed a vacation. This seemed like a reasonable excuse why to do so. Besides, it also gives me an excuse to be around my daughters. Is there something wrong with me desiring to be with my family my dear?

Winter: …

Winter: No, no there isn’t anything wrong with that, it’s just unexpected is all.

Willow: I understand, but being away from home also keeps me away from drinking. I’ve managed to at least reduce the amount I’ve been drinking substantially, but being around your father long enough will lead me back to drowning myself in the bottle again. I cannot allow that to happen.

Winter: I… I’m sorry, I thought you chose to leave for different reasons.

Willow: Like trying fine, Valian wines?

Winter: Ahh! Yes… Yes I thought so.

Willow: Well, depending on what, and where we’re having dinner I wouldn’t mind a suitable wine to go along with it, but I have to stop drinking. Not so much for myself, but for you, your sister, and your brother. I… I want to stay a part of your lives, to see you grow old, and start families of your own in the future. It would be a shame if I am to deny myself these opportunities because I drank myself to death…

Winter: Thank you, Mother. Hearing you say that means a lot to me. But, if you want to give up drinking, why are you looking forward to having wine with your meal?

Willow: I’m slowly weaning myself off drinking. Not everyone can just go cold turkey now can they?

Winter: I would prefer it if you did.

Willow: Well, it would probably be for the best if I did, but… Oh, we’re here, let’s continue this discussion later, and find your sister.

Winter: Very well then, Mother.

As the ship landed the mother, and daughter duo grabbed their luggage, and made their way towards the academy. As they neared closer to the tower, Willow couldn’t help, but take in the sights around her.

Willow: Oh my… Beacon Academy is such a lovely place.

Winter: Yes, the warm breeze, and vibrant greenery give this place such a relaxing air to it.

Willow: I know, Weiss went to, Beacon to escape father in, Atlas. But, do you suppose this rich atmosphere contributed to it?

Winter: I believe it was more so her desire to escape, Father. But, this is a nice benefit.

Willow: I hope she is feeling happy here.

Winter: Me too.

Willow: But, where do you believe she is?

Winter: I have no idea, there should be an information desk up front we can ask.

Willow: Or, I suppose we could ask him if he knows where, Weiss is.

Winter: Who?

As they drew closer to the, Academy they saw the statue out front, and a student sitting on the base of the statue. They noticed that he was seemingly mumbling to himself as he ran his hands through his golden hair as he evaded the white horns poking out.

Winter: A faunas?

Willow: Excuse me, young man?

: Hmm, what? Oh, hello.

Willow: Hello. I was wondering if you could help us.

: With what?

Winter: We’re looking for my sister, Weiss Schnee, do you perchance know her?

: Weiss Schnee? Yeah, I know her, we’re friends after all.

Willow: Excellent, can you please lead us to her?

: Sure I can… I can…?! Hurk?!

His hand quickly came up to cover his mouth, seemingly trying to repress a gag. His luck failed him as he continued to dry heave until a he opened his mouth, and a belch of fire erupted from his mouth before he fell into a small coughing fit as small jets of flame escaping his mouth with each cough. As soon as his coughing fit ended he popped a small white marble into his mouth, before turning to address the duo.

: Jacques you cheap bastard! (Cough!) Ahem, sorry about that, upset stomach. Hehe…

The duo looked at him in stunned shock, taking a moment for themselves to collect themselves. Willow seemingly able to keep her wits about her.

Willow: A-Are you okay?

: Yeah, I’m fine.

Winter: But, you just belched fire?

: That’s a semi-common occurrence.

Willow: But…?!

Winter: Wait, Mother… Male, blue eyes, blond hair, horns, and can breath fire… You’re the, Dragon King, Jaune Arc, aren’t you?

Jaune: That’s me, well mostly. I’m not a king of any sorts, but I am a dragon faunas. Anyway, my name is, Jaune Arc, nice to meet you.

Jaune offered his hand for the pair to shake as they introduced themselves in kind.

Willow: Willow, Willow Schnee, it’s a pleasure to meet you.

Winter: Specialist Winter Schnee.

Jaune: So you’re, Weiss’s family? That explained the smells.

Winter: Smells?

Jaune: I have a highly, highly acute sense of smell. I can smell familiarity’s between people, to the point I can tell if someone is related to another.

Winter: That sounds like an impressive ability.

Jaune: It has its downsides… Like my little sister trying to use me as a bloodhound…

Willow: You said you are friends with my daughter, Mr. Arc, can you lead us to her?

Jaune: Uhhh… No, no I can’t. She went into, Vale with the rest of her team just a little while ago.

Winter: She did, why?

Jaune: I don’t know; I left to ‘throw up,’ and when I came back she, and her teammates had disappeared. My sister said that they had made an emergency trip to, Vale, and that was all there was to it. Do you want me to call her, and let her know you’re here?

Winter: No… Well, maybe we should.

Willow: Oh dear… I was hoping to surprise her with our sudden visit.

Jaune: You can still do that if you want.

Willow: We can, how?

Jaune: Weiss, and her teams room is just down the hall from my teams room. You can wait there until she arrives.

Winter: What do you think mother?

Willow: We might as well, this young man has graciously offered us his place to us while we wait for your sister to return. We won’t be in there for a few hours at most.

Winter: Very well, we graciously accept your kind offer, Mr. Arc.

Jaune: My pleasure, and please, just call me, Jaune.

Winter: Very well then, Jaune.

Jaune: Even if you rejected my offer you’d no doubt be taken to my room anyway so I could inspect those diamonds, and any other gemstones of yours. If there are any that is…

Winter: What are you talking about?

Jaune: Two things: Those are, Fortress grade safe-boxes, made by the, Gem Refinery. To which I own, I know my merchandise. Especially the safe-boxes…

Willow: Wait, you’re the owner of the, Gem Refinery?

Jaune: Yes, I am. Second I over heard, Weiss… screaming to her father on how she wanted her entire families precious jewels so they can be appraised. And, who is that appraiser, me: Jaune Arc, the Lapidary Master!

Willow: You’re the, Lapidary Master?!

Jaune: Yep!

Willow: I don’t believe you. You’re just a teenager, and you’re supposedly the worlds most renowned fine cut gem grader?

Jaune: Oh, just you wait, and see darling! Now then, lets go look at some pretty stones!

~~~

Jaune: Hmmmm…?

Jaune hummed in speculation as he examined a rather large diamond on a gold ring with a jewellers magnifier. Willow looked on in a chair besides him, while, Winter look on from his bed as, Jaune worked.

Willow: That was the engagement ring my husband gave me, he said it is one caret diamond ring.

Willow: …

Willow: It is a diamond ring… Right?

Jaune looked at, Willow, back to the ring, and then back to her. Their eyes stayed locked for a moment before he threw it into his mouth, and a hard crunching sound soon followed this action.

Willow’s face fell into her hands as she groaned in disbelief at what she had just witnessed, again.

Willow didn’t believe, Jaune when he started sorting her diamonds into two piles, one labeled real, and labeled fake. The ‘fake’ pile had grown considerably larger then the ‘real’ pile to the point she doubted he was actually genuinely grading her diamonds, and was trying to steal them. To prove his innocence, he grabbed a sizeable real diamond, and bit it. The sound it made was akin to bitting a jaw breaker: hard, and solid, as if one smacked their head against a wall.

Jaune, then grabbed one he deemed a ‘fake’ and bit into it. The sound was like someone bit into a hard candy, and wanted to chew it up, instead of sucking on it; Loud, and crunchy.

He made this a habit whenever she doubted his expertise, as a master gemologist. A habit she had come to dread because of the details that followed with it.

Luckily that was the second to last diamonf he needed to inspect, and she knew for certain that the last one wasn’t fake.

Willow: At least tell me the ring was made of gold?

Jaune spat out the piece of metal next to the pile of fakes, she grimaced as she looked at him as he regretfully smiled at her.

Jaune: Well… Pyrite, isn’t called ‘fools gold’ for nothing… hehe…

Willow: Gods dammit… My husband bought me a fake engagement ring?! How cheap of a man is he?!

Winter: More so then we could possibly believe…

Jaune: I doubt he was in this case.

Winter: What do you mean?

Jaune: Well… From what I’ve been told your father is a greedy whore. Uhh?! N-No offence.

Winter: None taken.

Willow: Please, feel free to continue badmouthing my husband at your leisure.

Jaune: Okay? Anyway, your husband is a greedy whore, from what I’ve seen. And, from what, Weiss has said about him is that he doesn’t commit to anything that doesn’t have a shiny price tag attached to it. I think he acquired these gemstones as a future investment. Liquid assets as you would put it.

Winter: That sounds like something father would do, but why would he buy fakes? My father is a greedy bastard, and will do everything to save a chip. He wouldn’t buy fake diamonds, there’s no value in that.

Jaune: Maybe he didn’t know he was buying fakes?

Winter: You believe someone swindled him?

Willow: It is a logically sound idea when you think about it.

Jaune: I’m well aware of several infamous gem pedlars. Give me a list of your sellers, and I could identify who is a legit seller, and who is not. Because there are some real ones here, so maybe he bought the fakes from one person, and the real ones from another.

Willow: I believe they were all acquired from one person, at least the vast majority were.

Jaune: And, that person’s name is?

Willow: Cartiff… Cartiff… Oh, I forget his first name.

Jaune: …

Jaune: It wouldn’t happen to be, Quintin now would it…?

Willow: Quintin… Yes, Quintin Cartiff, that was his name. How did you know?

Jaune: Quintin… Quintin Cartiff…

Willow: J-Jaune? Is everything okay…

Jaune: Quintin CARTIFF!!!

Winter immediately jumped in front of her mother pulling her mother back. Her hand stayed on her blade as she saw a truly terrifying sight. Within the space of a blink the calm, and happy boy revealed a monster of fire, and ash. His head realed upwards as he scream his name in a bloody rage. Winter got to see first hand the hidden fang he hide behind that warm, and inviting smile of his. The way his mouth shut, terrified her knowing full well he could bite down into someone in mere seconds, and could easily pierce through aura, and flesh like it was tissue paper. She marvelled at the sight of blue flames erupting from clenched fangs. The reports she had seen about the dragon faunas were fragmented, and vague, but even those brief insights paled in reality at the sight before her.

The flames, erupting from, Jaune’s teeth slowly fettered out as a finally deep exhale escaped his lips, he shook his head as if trying to shake off some sort of ill feeling upon him. He leaned back in his chair to look at the mother, daughter duo as he gave them a nervous, and embarrassed smile as he awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

Jaune: Ah haha… Sorry about that… I didn’t expect hearing his name to set me off like that… Hehehe… Sorry…

Willow: It seems you are well acquainted with this individual?

Jaune: As well as I would like to be. The bastard is an infamous counterfeiter, specializing in fake jewels. Particularly diamonds. I met him years ago after I just started out my… passion for collecting precious gemstones. He sold me some nice diamonds the first few times, but then he came back again, and the ‘diamonds’ he brought were all fakes. He denied it of course. Then I ate his ‘diamonds’ to prove to him that they were all fakes.

Willow: Oh, so eating fake diamonds is not a recent habit you’ve developed. I thought it was just for show.

Jaune: Well, yeah it kinda is. I mean what better way to prove if a diamond is a fake?

Winter: Do you often eat precious stones?

Jaune: No, I tend to eat, Dust more so then cubic zirconia, and the like. That’s why I was belching fire earlier, Weiss fead me some, SDC Dust that made me sick to my stomach. Jacques is such a cheap bastard…

Winter: Wait, you eat, Dust?!

Willow: And, what does my husband have to do with that?

Jaune: Okay, one box left to examine!

Jaune simply ignored the ladies questions as he took out the last box. It was a seven inch cube box covered in various locking mechanisms that, Jaune was quite intrigued on opening it himself. But, in the pursuit of time he just handed it over to, Willow who opened it herself. And, upon it’s opening, Jaune beheld a beautiful sight. The one diamond he had been hoping to see for ages.

The famous, Schnee Diamond.

The diamond was cut into an orb with a with a three diameter, roughly making it the same size as your average baseball. It shimmered, and sparkled like a star under the light of his desk lamp. He extended the talons on his hand as he picked it up, and inspected this prized jewel. Turning it over as he marvelled in its beauty.

Willow: …?

Willow: Do you like it, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: …

Willow: Do you like it, Jaune?

Jaune: …

Willow: Jaune!

Jaune: Huw? Oh yeah, It is such a marvellous diamond… I’ve been dreaming of seeing it, holding it within my hands to marvel in its splendour since I first saw photos of it, and I must say those photos do it no justice in its magnificent.

Winter: Are you sure it’s real?

Winter cheekily remarked as, Jaune was lost in the beauty of the diamond in his taloned fingers. Her smile fell as she heard the most beautiful ringing sound she had ever heard as he tapped the diamond with his talon before turning to face her.

Jaune: Hear that? Humans can’t here this sound, most faunas can’t hear it either, but I can. Most diamonds are too small to make this an audible sound for most people to hear it. But, this diamond is big enough for anyone to hear it singing. Only a real diamond can make such beautiful sounds.

Willow: It is such a beautiful sound, I had no idea such sounds can come from a diamond.

Jaune: Only a few bare such elegance… Oh I wish I could have this diamond for myself… But alas, I doubt your open to selling it. Are you…?

Willow: If I was… Hypothetically speaking, how much would it be…?!

Jaune: Three billion Lien.

The duo looked at him astonished at the thought that, that diamond was worth, Three Billion Lein. The sense of unquestionable authority as he stated this didn’t make them question the possibility that he was gaslighting them so he could get it for a fraction of the price.

Willow: Oh my… I… I did not expect that…

Jaune: Didn’t you have it graded before?

Willow: Decades ago, and back then it was nearly a billion lien. But, to imagine the price has gone up that much… it’s unbelievable…

Jaune: It would be the worlds most valuable diamond, but that title was taken away from it a few years back.

Winter: Oh really? What took it’s place?

Jaune: This…

As if appearing from thin air, Jaune held out before the duo a diamond; A diamond cut into a sphere with a diameter of five inches across. Winter’s breath was stolen away as, Willow at the beauty presented before her. She carefully took it from him, fearing the validity of the rumours that he would gut her if she touched it. But, it appeared as if he was offering it to her to hold, so she took it.

She was amazed by its hefty weight, as she saw the light sparkle across it surface. She was amazed when her father showed her the, Schnee diamond, but the splendour of this diamond put it to shame so thoroughly she couldn’t find it in herself to complain about it in the slightest.

Willow: The Translucent Apple… Oh she is absolutely gorgeous~!

Winter: You’re the owner of the world’s largest diamond…?! That makes sense because you’re such a gemstone lover… But wait, where did you pull that out from? Do you just keep it hidden on your person at all times.

Jaune: Not in the shower.

Winter: What?!

Willow: It is truly a marvellous diamond. It was an honour to hold it. Winter, do you perhaps?

Winter: Nnnno, no I wouldn’t. If our family’s diamond is worth three billion, it terrifies me to hold something worth…

Jaune: Five billion Lien.

Winter: Five billion Lien… Wait, what really?!

Jaune: I am not considered one of the richest men in the world for nothing.

Winter: Five billion… And, he just has that up his coats sleeves?!

Willow: Well, it was a pleasure, despite the sheer disappointment of it all, no fault upon you, Jaune. I thank you for grading our families diamonds, and other precious stones.

Jaune: My pleasure… If you want, I can set you up with a jeweller from my company. I can confirm whole heartedly their validity as the genuine article.

Willow: I would appreciate that very much. But, there is something I would like to ask you…

Jaune: That being?

Willow: I heard you were offered gemstones as a dowery of sorts… Does that offer still stand?

Jaune’s burning focus of ingraining the beauty of the, Schnee Diamond upon his mind had finally been broken. Not even offering up the, Translucent Apple for, Willow to marvel at had broken his singular concentration of the diamond within his talon fingers. But, that one question broke him from his stupor like a gunshot to the heart. For he knew all to well what the dowery for this proposal would be.

Jaune: A-Are you offering me this diamond for your daughters hand…?

Willow: Indeed I am.

Winter: Mother no!

Winter exclaimed in shock as she looked at her mother as if she had lost her sanity. And, worry as, Jaune eyed the diamond with a new burning intensity trapped deep within the very depths of his soul.

Jaune: This… This is a priceless family heirloom, you wouldn’t simply give it away for me to accept, Weiss’s hand in marriage would you?

Willow: The diamond would still be in the hands of a, Schnee if you married my daughter, so it wouldn’t be lost. And, I never said anything about you marrying, Weiss now did I?

Willow looked to her eldest child with a smile as, Winter’s voice failed her. She was dumbfounded that this conversation had taken such a drastic turn. Was her mother seriously offering up the family’s prized heirloom for her hand in marriage?!

It was unthinkable. That her mother would do this to her on seemingly a whim. It scared her. But, what truly terrified her was the deafening silence that followed as, Jaune looked between her, and the diamond.

At her, and the diamond.

At her, and the diamond.

At her, and the diamond.

And, then at her, and only her.

Winter gulped in fear at the sudden turn her life was about to make.

#rwby #jaune arc #weiss schnee #willow schnee #winter schnee #jacques schnee #rwby klien

[theywhowriteandknowthings]

Murder Daddy Kinktober 2023 Day 12 CNC(Consensual Non Consent)/Roleplay Joel Miller x Reader

This blog is a 18+ space, Minors, do not engage. If you are under the age of 18 you are not welcome here. Please heed these warnings and the warnings put in place on each individual fic and chapter. Your reading and consumption of my work is your responsibility but I will endeavour to mitigate any discomfort for you, the reader, as possible. Once again, this is a 18+ space and minors should not interact. Specific Warnings: DDDNI, This is pretty Dark, Roleplay, It's all consensual but it is CNC(Consensual Non-Consent), Vaginal Fingering, gun play, knife play, struggle, threat of r*pe, threat around anal, Joel Miller's fucking mouth, degradation, slut shaming. Let me know if I missed anything. Graphic made by meThank you again to @patti7dc for beta-ing! Read on AO3Please consider checking out my ko-fi or patreon if you want to support me!

Murder Daddy Kinktober 2023 – Day 12 CNC

You’re rifling through an old grocery store, desperate to find some tampons, or even a menstrual cup. Your period’s due and living in the woods for the last few weeks has been rough. You are about to admit defeat when you hear the metallic click of a hammer being pulled back. Your blood runs cold as you silently curse your tunnel vision.

“Up.”

The deep voice behind you instructs and you obey. As you stand you try to subtly pull out the knife from your boot but a disappointed tut comes from behind you.

“Don’t ya even think ‘bout it, sweetheart.”

“Can’t blame a girl for trying.” He grunts at that but says no more.

You rise slowly, your heart hammering in your chest as you rise to full height, hands up as you wait for the next instruction.

“Turn around f’me.”

You do as you’re told and your eyes go wide as you see the broad man in front of you, pistol aimed at your forehead as he smirks at you. He’s older by a few years, his patchy facial hair splintered with grey, as are the thick, once dark, curls that frame his face. If he didn’t have a gun pointed at you, you might have found him attractive.

“What’s a pretty little thing like you doing out here all alone huh? Dangerous place to be caught unawares.”

“There aren’t any infected around here these days, been scoping the place out-,”

You’re cut off by the stranger closing the distance in one long stride, the barrel of the pistol presses into your ribs as his free hand snatches your jaw, fingers digging painfully into your flesh.

“Ain’t talkin’ bout infected darlin’, much more dangerous things out there than them.”

“Yeah? Like what?” You try keep your voice strong, knowing all too well what’s coming next. You try to be brave, keep the tears from spilling. You won’t give him the satisfaction of that.

“Me.”

He shoves you back against the wall, pressing his thigh between yours as he tilts your head to the side, pinning you with his body as you feel the hard length of his cock pressed against your belly. You whimper, the last ounce of resolve in you broken as you realise there’s no escaping what’s about to happen.

“Please, I just needed supplies, please don’t do this.” You try anyway as he dips his head down to your neck, strong nose pressing into your flesh as he sucks a mark into your exposed skin.

“Shut the fuck up, you don’t have any control over this y’hear? The less you struggle the less I have’ta get rough with ya, we clear?”

You let out a small noise of agreement, something between a whine and a sob. You try and relax, letting your body go limp as your assailant rips open your flannel shirt, revealing your breasts, covered in a threadbare bra and little else.

“What’s your name darlin’? I’m Joel.”

“What’s it matter to you?” You snap, eyes fixed on an empty, rusting, magazine stand as you try not to think too hard about how wet you are as a result of this stranger’s large, groping, hands.

“Play nice little kitten or I’m going to stop being such a gentleman.”

One of his hands grabs your face, calloused fingertips digging in painfully as he yanks your head back to look at him. His nostrils are flared and his eyes wide with rage, you flinch away from him, and you hear a soft chuckle escape his plush lips. You mutter your name, and he softens a little, his eyes shining with appreciation.

“Good girl. Now, you’re going to hop up on this counter here, ‘kay?”

You nod obediently, legs shaking as he guides you to the ledge. You jump up of your own accord and Joel nods in approval as he starts to unbutton your jeans, pulling your panties and pants down in one swift motion. You squirm as the cool air hits your slick folds.

“Look at that,” Joel whistles low as he cups your sex with one of his meaty hands, his coarse palm rubbing on your clit as he strokes his fingers through your embarrassingly wet cunt, “You getting off on this?”

“No.” You breathe as you tremble under his touch, you look away again and he tuts once more.

“Look at me, and quit lyin’ you little whore.”

Your breath catches in your chest as Joel’s free hand wraps harshly around your neck, pressuring your windpipe as he presses a thick finger inside you. You can’t help yourself, you let out a tight whine as Joel fucks you with his finger, palm brushing over your clit and despite it all, or maybe – shamefully – in spite of it, you’re close.

“Joel.” You whimper softly and you watch through hooded eyes as Joel smirks in triumph.

“There you go, come on my fingers darlin’ I’ll treat you so nice if you just let me.”

“Fuck, m’coming Joel.” Your hands fly forward, finding his cheeks as you pull his mouth against yours. You groan loudly into his mouth as his tongue lashes against yours, devouring you as he feels you clamp around his finger.

“See, didn’t have to be scared kitten, I’ll take care of you.”

His breath fans over you as you come down from your high. Shame washes over you as you realise what you just did. You thrash away from him, clawing at his arms to try and break free. You forget about the gun pressed to your ribcage for a split second and punch him hard in the jaw.

“Fucking bitch!”

You hear the wail of a man incensed as you fall to your knees, scrambling away as you try to reach for your boot knife. But you don’t make it far, your legs weak, body numb as you try and come down from your orgasm.

“No more playin’ nice, fucking cunt. You ain’t going to enjoy this.”

Joel lands on top of you with a snarl as he shoves your face down onto the chipped and faded linoleum. You whimper as he forces your legs apart, your pants still around your knees from how he had you on the counter. You hear the rip of fabric as he forces them lower.

“Was just going to fuck your nice, pliable, little cunt, maybe even let you come again,” Joel lords over you as he spits on the crease of your ass, “Didn’t want to get nasty with you darlin’, but you’ve forced my hand.”

He lines his cock up against your tight cheeks and you whimper at the way he spreads them, baring your asshole to him. You feel his impossibly thick tip against the tight ring of muscle and you cry out in panic.

“Please, no.”

“Why? What have you fuckin’ done to deserve any mercy? Huh?”

“Can be good, promise.” You plead.

“Mmm, we’ll see,” There’s a shift in Joel’s tone as he leans over to whisper in your ear, “You doin’ ok down there darlin’?

“Yeah, still green for me, you?” You smile to yourself as you feel your body relax at Joel’s check-in.

“Emerald City green baby, just wanted to make sure.”

“But seriously, no butt stuff, not sanitary.”

“Agreed, you ready to go?” Joel whispers softly against your skin as he presses tender, doting kisses to your shoulder.

“Uh-huh, oh, and Joel?” You say with a smirk as you look over your shoulder at him.

“Yeah?”

“Punish me for being such a brat.”

The switch flips and you see the look on Joel’s face, dark and deadly, before you resume your position with your face pressed into the worn lino.

“You going to be a good girl and let me fuck that sweet little cunt?”

“Yes, I promise, as much as you want.” You whimper as your clit aches at the tension rolling between you both.

“Might just keep you, was thinking ‘bout offin’ ya, can’t be having bitches with grudges hangin’ over me.”

“Promise, I’ll be so good to you, please, fuck my pussy.”

You’re playing along, literally and theatrically, as you love it when Joel gets this fucking dirty with you.

“Aw there we go, those’re the manners I’ve been looking for.” Joel purrs as he grabs at your hips, bringing you up so his dick lines up with your slick core.

“Look how sweet she looks, such a needly little hole for me.”

“Please.” You beg, it’s agony having him notched at your entrance, you’re dripping and all you want is for him to fill you up.

“Good girl.” He grunts as he thrusts into you, pulling you back on his dick as he fucks you. He’s impossibly deep and you whine as he pulls you up against him. You worry in the back of your mind about his knees, but he doesn’t seem to care as he bounces you up and down on his thighs. One of his hands wraps around your neck, pinning you to him and cutting off the airflow to your brain as his other hand drops to your clit.

“Gonna fill your little cunt up, make you leak all down your thighs like a dirty fucking whore.”

“Please, want your come in me.” You pant, your mind is blank as you feel yourself reach your peak. You love it when Joel lets go like this, using your body like a fucking toy, yet still makes sure you’re having a good time.

“As you wish, sweetheart.”

He groans in your ear as you clamp around his cock. Your vision is white as you convulse around him, gasping for air as his grip on your throat tightens. You scream out as your orgasm hits you like a slap to the face. Raw, electric, grounding.

Joel grunts and lets out a deep whine as he empties himself into you, huffing and wheezing as he fills you up. You loll back onto his shoulder and hum contentedly as he buries his nose in your hairline.

“We are definitely doing that again.”

Joel grumbles as he pulls you close against him, panting against your slick skin.

“Fuck yeah we are, but next time I get the gun.”  

“That so?” Joel growls as he nips at the shell of your ear.

“Uh-huh, I wanna make you beg Joel Miller.” You tease and you feel his cock twitch inside you.

“Hmmm we’ll see, now come on, the horses are waiting.”

You groan internally as you realise that you’re still an hour out of Jackson. Your pussy throbs in morbid anticipation of being sat in a saddle for that long. But it was worth it. All the while, as you and Joel exchange shit-eating grins on your way back to Jackson, you know this was going to become a habit, and you were thrilled to see how far you could both push things.

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[soapoet]

PJO pick-a-card reading

Luke Castellan; A message from above

Soapy scribbles: I opted to format this topic as generally as possible since we all hold various different beliefs. Whether this message comes from your spirit guides, angels, higher self, God, any deity, ancestor or passed loved ones, or anything beyond my comprehension, is for you alone to know based on how it resonates with you. I am just the messenger and it is no business of mine who your particular sender is.

01.

Shufflemancy: Travelling by James Spiteri

You're coming out of a period of stagnation. Either delays entirely out of your control, or the sheer lack of motivation has kept you at a stalemate unable to proceed with your plans. You have found comfort in distractions aplenty. A seemingly never-ending cycle of avoiding the next step because it appears so very daunting, then being overcome with guilt and shame, which you again run from, chasing anything and everything which would put these feelings at bay. Now the first step looks less frightening, and you may feel more motivated to journey onwards.

Growing pains may feature, but you are able to handle them well. You may feel inclined to keep secrets, especially regarding your endeavours. This will prove beneficial as it reduces pressure, you now have nobody to hold yourself accountable but you, and you avoid the urge to run away should anybody dare inquire about your progress. Push yourself forward, as unnerving as it may be. You will quickly notice how light you are on your feet and the distance you can go when harnessing the dopamine from simply overcoming this fear.

Do not be too hard on yourself or expect to run a marathon. A little progress is better than none, but do not use busy work as yet another distraction. You have great gifts and plenty to share with the world, and you are destined to inspire others with your achievements and your accolades. As much as you detest routine, try to keep even a small one. Do a little bit every day to inch yourself closer to your dreams. To avoid feelings of uncertainty and your fears of failure, set aside time to sit with yourself in silence and ask yourself why you want this, where it will lead, and why that is where you want to be and what you hope to achieve, the life you wish to lead and what legacy you wish you leave. Remind yourself of the answers to these questions whenever motivation begins to evade you on your journey.

Sometimes a writer can only muster a sentence, perhaps one they will later entirely eliminate, yet they did something. And sometimes all this writer can do is stare at the manuscript before them and give of themselves nothing. Yet they did something. They got up to look at it rather than wince across the room and refuse to rise to the occasion at all. Celebrate even your smallest victories and allow yourself a cheer when you muster even the slightest effort. Do not expect perfection of yourself and know that many before you had to go through trial and error, and learn and adapt along the way. That is perfectly okay and you do not need a doctorate straight out of the womb to be good enough.

02.

Shufflemancy: Kiss the rain by Yiruma

You must cease this pattern of giving up your energy so easily to so many who are not deserving of your time. When bad news arrive, it is fine to feel whichever way you feel, but anchoring your emotions to this negativity will suck you dry of the life force that you need to shine. You are allowed to have boundaries and you are encouraged to enforce them and guard them closely. Those who would trespass should know punishment swiftly. Do not tolerate things you do not tolerate truly. Do not quietly hope unfortunate things go away and that people notice your discomfort and stop what they're doing that is harming you.

Stand up for yourself and make your thoughts and feelings heard. It is also not your duty or responsibility to translate a simple no or a stop to people wilfully ignorant and always finding a justification for their words and actions. No is a full sentence. Anybody who fails to internalize this fact and look in the mirror to reflect and to change any behaviour that's lead them to ignore this simple command is not a headache to take as yours. You should be unapologetic in your selfcare and demand space when you need it. Set aside your fears and shoo away any prowling feelings of shame and guilt. If you would be happier alone than in bad company, seek solitude and cut off what no longer serves you.

There are lessons some learn only upon a collapse. You may pray for a change of heart and hope for the sun to shine again, but you do not need to weather storms that are not yours to experience. You're not a bad person for stepping back and saying enough is enough in a situation that only causes you distress. Those who need help must want it and ask for it. You can promise to be there when they're ready and aid in their recovery, and still express to them the grief that they have caused you. Sometimes people need to be faced with the harsh truth. The pain and the agony and sleepless nights which they have brought upon you and others and be shown they could truly lose it all lest they stop and strive to do and be better.

If somebody truly needs help and you do not have the heart to abandon them, seek assistance. You need not be alone in a quest which requires more than you alone have to give. There are many sources of help and even more solutions once more hands are there to help, and you only have two and are allowed to seek extra pairs to aid you in this task. You are commended for your resilience and your kind heart. It may break and bleed often, and you must know that things will get better. These rough waters will calm soon enough and you will find peace.

03.

Shufflemancy: Ballerina by Yehezkel Raz

You don't need to run so fast. You have all the time in the world to make the changes that you want and need. Slow down and allow yourself to breathe. You have been much too hard on yourself and allowed everything outside of you to weigh you down. Shelf some burdens that were never yours to carry and make the choice to serve yourself for a change. Be gentle with yourself and listen to your own body and soul, and act according to that which is truly in your best interest. You are your own worst enemy when you let the beasts feed upon your negative self talk and your fixations on perceived failures.

Know that you have no more need for tips and tricks and new methods to your madness. You already have everything that you need, and no tool beyond your own consciousness is required. You could paint cathedral ceilings with just your imagination, so cease your struggle and let yourself be carried by the stream. Do not waver in your convictions, and do not let doubt lead you astray. Stick to what you know in your heart to be true and cast away every inkling of worry and fear.

You need to learn to let life happen to you rather than holding the reins so tightly you vitiate the opportunity to experience the present moment altogether. The present is all we really have, so try your best to cling neither to the past or the future. We all have regrets behind us, and wishes for the future, but it is the present moment which we truly have control over and get to experience.

Let go of any unhealthy dependencies you may have allowed to take root in your garden. Whether this is a person, a habit, or a situation, if it isn't doing you any good in the long-term, do your best to weed it out so that more energy may be received by the things you do wish to grow and nurture. If you feel unqualified to tackle some of this gardening, do not hesitate to ask for help and guidance from gentle people who will understand how delicate some situations may be. You do not need to tolerate fear mongering or unnecessary pressure, time constraints or misplaced ultimatums. Be direct with what you need and the tone and feel you wish to engage in so that you do not end up feeling cornered and threatened so much that you refuse any help at all in favour of protecting yourself from harsh criticism and judgement.

#pac reading #pick a card reading #luke castellan #pjo #energy reading #intuitive reading #percy jackson and the olympians #pac #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card #tarot reading #tarotblr #soapy.post

[mymelodramaticjournal]

Regulus removes his memories of James, because even the best Occlumens could not conceal a love that formidable. He intends to return to them. He does not make it. He leaves a letter to guarantee their destruction. Harry finds it twenty years too late.

‘No,’ This couldn’t be right. ‘No.’

Hundreds of glass vials.

Mountains of memories.

Harry stood in front of the shimmering cabinet, the glow bathing the dark, dank basement of Grimmauld Place in a halo of light, refracting off of each shining surface, blinding. They looked wrong, unlike the others Harry had seen. Usually a cool white, iridescent, like tiny pools of trickling moonlight. These were warm, burning, blazing. Like being very close to a living star. Trying to catch it in your bare palms. He’d never seen memories so bright.

A letter sat on the handles on the cabinet. Coated in a fine layer of dust and addressed to nobody. Harry picked it up, slipped it open, eyes running over the elegant scrawl. An air or resignation to it. An edge of desperation.

Sirius,

I suppose I am dead. I cannot find it in myself to be surprised. Know that to me it was worth it.

I find assurance in the thought it will be you who discovers this, as you are not corrupted by sympathy for me. I trust you will do what is necessary. I have made my peace with the aftermath of my performance. This is to ensure my reasoning cannot be misinterpreted as an uncharacteristic outburst of courage or selflessness. Both peculiarities, as you well know, I do not possess.

Mother has a temper to match the Dark Lord’s wrath. Neither of them can learn of my plan, nor the reason for its conception. It is not safe to love him as loudly as he compels me to whilst they rifle through my mind in tandem. One cannot conceal an ocean of aching this vast, nor truly alter a mind forged so fiercely by longing. So here lies the graveyard of my love, each glass tombstone inscribed with another reason as to why I have made my choice. I endeavour to resurrect these memories, restore them to the waiting walls of my mind, or to join them in death. If you have discovered them, I have at least succeeded in the latter. Know it likely did not hurt. Removing them has left me hollow. I cannot feel even the sun upon my skin.

My intentions are entirely self-serving, and I harbour no shame about this. Though, for the first and final time, our interests line up faultlessly. So, I ask of you only this: do not let him know. Allow him to believe whatever falsity has been shared. If not for me, for him. He must live if there is to be hope in this world. Him and the child.

Destroy the memories. Set the house aflame. Do whatever you must. Look after him, Sirius. Despite our hatred, keep my heart safe.

Your brother,

Regulus.

#jegulus #starchaser #sunseeker #marauders era #harry potter #harry potter series #james potter x regulus black #regulus black #james potter #james x regulus #marauders #jegulus fic #marauders fanfiction #sirius black #headcanon #harry potter headcanon #marauders headcanon

[thebluemoonjune]

The Elegance of Resilience Chapter 6: Daddy Issues

Chapter 6: Daddy Issues

Summary:

Father continues to berate Michonne then Rick argues with her Father.Rick and Michonne's disagreement about her father not talking about pregnancy. Rick needs air meet Daryl. Michonne and her parents argue (with dad mostly) about Rick, pregnancy, wedding, Mike, the children, her independence. Rick and Michonne have honest conversations. Michonne Rick and Sasha hosts a get-together.

Notes:

This kind of serves as a trigger warning for people who have experienced emotional abuse.

Michonne didn’t answer Reynard as fast as he would have liked. She withdrew from Rick's touch and swallowed hard, looking down, locked in a cycle of self-doubt.

“Michonne-”

“Amélie. Go on…”

Reynard cut Rick off, keeping his cold, dead gaze on his daughter. His voice was stern but soft. Her jaw trembled, making it hard to speak. She was wringing her hands under the table, trying to regain her composure. 

“To be better-”

“I can’t hear you, Amélie.”

“To be better… I have to be better. Don’t make foolish mistakes, and give people room to talk. If I can’t honour you, do not shame you.”

“Reynard, please.” Marie pleaded to her husband.

“You disappoint me, dearest.” He placed his arm on the table and rubbed the crown of his head, as if to tell her he was fed up with her nonsense. He went on, however.

“Did I not give everything that others less fortunate than yourself would kill for? You went to the best schools, wore the best clothes, ate the best food... But most importantly, I taught you values. I taught you to work hard, to strive for greatness, to respect yourself... You are a woman and you are black, I made sure you never forgot that… I made sure you were the best, that you were number one in all your endeavours... Let me ask you this, Dearest. When was the last time you practised, hmm?”

“I take cases here and there!” Her voice rose hysterically.

“Watch your tone with me, girl.” His icy stare bore into her. “You have not practised in three months, and three months prior to that... Can’t find the time to take a case, but all the time to get pregnant... You can’t pay your bills by taking a case every three months… Living off your trust fund, no doubt.”

“What? Do you want to cut me off?" She let out a lengthy sigh, stretching her right hand out on the dining table, not looking at her father's emotionless face.

“No, nor would it be my place. If I had my way, you wouldn’t have had it in the first place, but alas, your mother will always have her way, even if it means to undermine me and spoil you... I have been the best father I could be. While your mother wanted to be your friend, I worked tirelessly and thanklessly to ensure you were the best version of yourself… I remember the first time you became valedictorian. You were four, and you came running, yelling, ‘Daddy! Daddy, look!'. You were so proud of yourself, and I was proud of you.” He had the slightest smile as he reminisced.

“It was that day I knew you were destined to be even better than me... Yet here you are. It hurts me to see you settle into this ball of mediocrity. How very disappointing.” 

Her self-esteem began to collapse like a brittle sandcastle, damaged by the never-ending waves of negative thoughts crashing on the shores of her mind. Michonne let out a hollow laugh, and the tears she'd managed to hold back threatened to flow once more. She refused to cry in front of him for a second time, and she shot up from the table without saying anything, heading upstairs to her bedroom.

“Sweetheart, wait!” Marie rushed to meet her daughter.

Rick knew he should have gone after Michonne, but he had some choice words for the man before him. His muscles flicked angrily in the jaw, and his eyes gleamed with ruthless fire. Reynard challenged his gaze, smiling maliciously.

“Say what you want to say, boy.” Reynard popped another bottle of wine open and poured himself a glass.

“Do you get off on hurting your daughter?”

“What? Of course not.” His brows shot up at the insinuation. “If anything, she gets off on going against me. You aren’t the first; she did it with Mike as well, but she understood eventually. With a bit of tough love to push her, she’ll come around; my Amélie always does.”

His voice was much calmer with Rick, as if he wasn’t worth any extra energy. He tossed his wine around in the glass before taking a sip.

“But I have to say, Richard, Michael was a doctor; he had no children nor any long-winded drama or anger issues; however, I knew he wasn’t good enough—not for my daughter. He was weak, complacent, and selfish. Even when she accepted his proposal, I knew that she knew, it would never work. She was only twenty-two; she was driven, intelligent, and kind, with a deep love for life. My Amélie was destined for greatness, and she still is. Which confuses me as to why she chose you of all people. It’s been more than four years. It worries me that she might actually be serious about this long term.”

Rick blinked quickly, trying to grasp the incredible scene in front of him, his mind attempting to reconcile reality with the shock.

“You’re not serious, are you? It ain’t crossed your mind that we might actually love each other. I love her, she loves me. We're gonna get married. We got two children together. Thank you for delivering the news about the third, by the way.”

“You're very welcome, Richard. I think it’s a testament to your relationship that my daughter didn't tell you. Everything isn’t all dandy, as you say.”

“You're saying that she doesn’t love me?”

“No! No! My daughter doesn’t have a callous bone in her body. I’m sure her feelings for you are genuine, no matter how fleeting they are. What I am saying is that there must be a reason she hasn’t told you; she’s three months along, as I understand it to be. You didn’t even realise. You say you love my daughter, but I don’t believe that. I don’t think she believes it either.”

Reynard relished the simple excitement of living, savouring each sip of wine. It was as though his senses were heightened by his enjoyment. He couldn't stop smiling; his smile was dangerous but genuine, as if happiness had taken up residence on his face. Rick's face flushed bright red. He smashed his hand against the table, the piercing crackling echoing throughout the room, scattering pieces of broken glass and the remnants of his rage.

“I love Michonne; I’m in love with her whether you like it or not! She knows that!”

“If you loved her, you would have waited until you had your divorce instead of making her a glorified mistress. You wouldn’t have gotten her pregnant out of wedlock. How much has my Amélie sacrificed for you?”

Rick paced towards Reynard, the force of his footsteps a testament to the restless anger coursing through his veins. His finger pointed directly into Reynard's face as he cornered him. The older man smirked as he poured more wine into his glass and slanted back into his seat.

“What the hell do you know? You don't want her happy! You're gonna make it seem like you want what’s best for her; it’s all bullshit! You just want to control her. You’re gonna sit here and act like you care, but the truth is, you don’t like that you're losing control. It ain’t sitting right with you that someone else got influence over her!”

Reynard nodded enthusiastically, and his eyes grew wide with excitement as Rick invaded his space. He turned to meet his angry gaze.

“You said all of that just to ignore my question... Richard, I think that part of you knows...”

“What?”

“That part of you knows that you’re not good enough for my little girl. Part of you doubts the sanctity of your relationship. Part of you is afraid that one day she’s going to realise that you're not worth it.”

Rick stumbled back, briefly losing his footing, his body recoiling as if struck by an invisible force by the unexpected allegation levelled at him. As a prolonged moment of silence took hold, his breath stopped, caught in his throat. He looked at the man, trying to find the right words, before turning on his heel and walking up the stairs to his and Michonne's bedroom. Outside the door, he could hear two women talking in French. He didn’t bother to knock before he entered.

“Ah, tu es là, Richard! I’ll go clean up downstairs.” She kissed his cheek. “Amélie, prends ton temps. D'accord? Je t'aime.” She gave her child one last look.

And with that, Marie left, giving the couple their space. Rick walked to Michonne, whose eyes were red and puffy. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t maintain eye contact. She rubbed the backs of her crossed arms gently. 

“We need to talk, Michonne.”

“Do we have to do this right now?”

“The baby thing? Yes! Yes, we do.” His voice had dropped an octave and was gritty.

“What do you want me to say, Rick?”

“How about you start with how long you’ve known, Chonne?”

“A little over a month...”

“A little over a month. And you didn’t think that I should know we’re gonna have another baby? I should’ve known! I should’ve been the first one to know!”

“I had my reasons, Rick! You know I did…”

“And yet it’s those reasons that concerns me! You made an active choice to hide your pregnancy from me for reasons I can’t even begin to comprehend… Your mother knows, and your father knows enough that he can throw it in our fucking faces! Let me guess: Sasha knows as well, which would make me the last to know. Ain’t that just fucking something?”

“I didn’t tell you because of everything going on. Lori, Judith, and the stress of everything else! You had so much on your plate. I was waiting for the right time.”

“And when was the right time, hmm?”

“Rick…”

She couldn’t answer, nor did he want her to. She reached out to grab his arm, but he pulled away from her, and her shoulders slumped. The room felt suffocating; the air was heavy with an oppressive sadness that clung to every corner.

“The truth is, you don’t trust me to be man enough and deal with my shit. Like I’m a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I see it in how you treat me when I deal with other people. I know I got my issues, but you got no right like I’m some broken toy. Part of you agrees with your father-”

“That’s not true!”

“We both know it’s true! You’ve never defended me in front of your father. Not once.” 

He rubbed his hand over his face after watching a tear fall from Michonne's eyes. She held his hand.

“Rick, baby, I don’t want to fight.”

“I don’t wanna fight either. I don’t wanna say something I can’t take back, so I’m gonna go.”

“Where? Baby, it’s late!”

“Daryl’s”

“That’s an hour's drive-”

“I know. I’m a grown man… Look, I ain't gonna go on some rave, okay? This thing, with your father and the baby, I just need time to get my thoughts straight.”

He took his phone, his baseball cap, and his jacket and left. Michonne sat on her bed and hugged her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth, seeking solace in the rhythm of her own desolation as she thought of all that happened tonight.

…

“Hey, man. You didn’t call.”

“You got someone coming over or something.”

“No. What’s going on? Trouble in paradise?”

“My father-in-law’s in town. Let's just say we had an oh-so-colourful dinner…” 

Rick threw himself on the couch, putting his arm over his face to cover his eyes from the light. Daryl went to the kitchen to grab two beers to join him.

“Michonne’s pregnant. Found out tonight.”

“What? You ain’t want it?”

“That ain’t the problem. Her father is the one who let the cat out the bag. She hid it.”

“She ain’t want it?”

“It’s not that... I know she thinks I can’t handle another kid. And not just another kid; she doesn’t think me reliable at all. She’s gonna start showing soon. How long was she gonna hide it for?”

“She said that?”

“No, but I know it.”

“Rick-”

“If we didn’t have the boys, I got no doubt she would have left me a long time ago. I know it.”

“Rick, that girl loves you.”

“Yeah. Well, love ain’t everything; you, of all people, should know that.”

“Leah and Michonne ain’t the same. Come on, Rick. You ain’t exactly been the best partner, Rick. This ain’t the 1950s; if she wanted to leave, trust me, she would, especially if her daddy been begging her for years. Them kids ain’t gonna stop shit. Stay the night; clear your head, but you're gonna go home in the morning.”

“Hey, Michonne wanted to have a small get-together on Friday; you coming? It’s for the weekend.”

“Alright, just text me the time... And Rick, some parents, they don’t got to beat you to damage you.” 

Daryl stood up and went to his room, leaving behind his best friend. Rick took out his wallet to retrieve a photograph from within. It was of him and Michonne with the boys at their christening. This is a special occasion for both of their families. He and Michonne weren't religious, but it was a custom shared by both of their families, which was unusual for the two. Both of their parents were in the back, bathing in the joyous atmosphere of the blessing and celebration of their children. He traced his fingers along the old photograph, a bittersweet caress that brought memories to life. His fingers lingered on its surface, as if, by touching it, he could somehow find solace within it.

…

“Bonjour Amélie. Comment vas-tu? I see Richard hasn’t returned… Do you want to talk about it?”

“Morning, mummy…” Her lips pulled together into a half-formed smile.

“Darest, I spoke to your father last night... Don’t take it to heart; he’s a stubborn old fool. He only wants what's best for you.”

“Best for me? Is insulting me and the father of my children, is what's best for me?”

“Amélie, Your father has his flaws, but he’s sincere. I like Richard, but let’s not act as if he had done right by you.”

“Why are you entertaining the girl’s foolishness? What life has she lived to be able to question me?” Reynard said, entering the kitchen.

He was wearing a maroon Ralph Lauren sweater with a grey shirt underneath and long khaki pants. He wore his glasses today, and he carried his laptop and iPad with him.

He seems to be occupied for the day. That means he’ll be out of my hair for a while. Should I bring the boys back?

“Good morning, my sweet. You look handsome; you were in rare form last night.”

“Is breakfast finished?”

“Oui, hungry?”

He didn’t come last night; he slept out. I get he’s angry, but to take that shit out on me! And he wonders why I acted the way I did. Shameless man!

 “Amélie?”

I wonder what time he’s coming back. We still need to talk, but that temper! Still, I’m not completely in the right either, and he honestly held it together pretty well. Then again, he never really lost his shit with me, even last night.

“Amélie!”

“What is it?”

“Did you not hear your mother calling you, girl?”

“I’m not doing this shit today.” Michonne began to walk away

“What was that girl?”

“Look, I don’t have the time. Rick didn’t come back last night, and I can’t with you right now. I'm tired of this.” 

“Let’s not do this, you two!”

“You seem to forget yourself, Amélie.” Reynard ignored Marie.

“The father of your grandchildren left late last night because of your antics; he isn’t back yet... Dad, it's not fair what you're doing to my family!”

“Your family? Am I not your family? It seems being away from us for so long has rotted your brain. Even talking back to me, have you lost your mind?”

“No, I haven’t!” Her words shattered into the room like shards of glass. “Do you know why the twins aren't here? I left them with Sasha because I didn't want them here with you! I have somethings to get off my chest, and you will listen.”

Michonne could see her father fuming, but he remained silent, his arms crossed hard across his chest. It was as though he was waiting to see how far she'd go with her 'performance'. Sweat rivulets formed across her body, and time seemed to slow as the weight of the situation pressed on her. Under his piercing gaze, she could sense her courage wavering. She was adamant, however, knowing that if she didn't express what she wanted now, she might not get another chance. After Rick left, she thought long and hard about everything, especially Rick’s words. She hardly slept last night, knowing that he was out and angry at that.

“I am an adult, capable of making my own decisions. And though they aren’t always the best, they are my decisions to make.” She took a deep breath. “I moved to Atlanta to be my own person. I didn’t want to be attached to your name anymore; in everything I did, I had to be careful not to tarnish you because, no matter what, I was only seen as  Reynard Hawthorne's daughter. ‘If I can’t honour you, do not shame you.’ Those were the words that kept ringing in my head every single day! Every part of my life you controlled. What clothes I wore, what languages I spoke,  what instruments I played, and my likes and dislikes—you even controlled who I was dating!”

“I already know you chose Michael just to go against me. You did it then, and you’re doing it now. But I do not hold it against you; all children challenge their parents, and all children rebel. You carried on that charade with that buffoon for almost two years just to spite me, but in the end, you left him at the altar. I raised you, I taught you, and I made you who you were. In this world, I know you better than you know yourself. I do not hold your little outburst to heart, so quit while you are ahead, lest it stop being cute.”

“I did stay with Mike to spite you, and I don’t regret it.”

“You don’t regret it?” Reynard asked rhetorically, “Dearest, I told Richard that you didn’t have a callous bone in your body; I lied. I knew that I lied because you are mine; you are my daughter, and so you are just like me... But if you must defy me, at least go all the way. In the end, you chickened out because you didn’t have the gall. You picked a battle you couldn't win, and I knew you couldn’t do it. You see, Amélie, you are your mother’s as much as you are mine. You have her unyielding heart.”

He walked up to her and took her hands in his. He had a smile on his face, which caught Michonne off guard. His ability to change emotions at the drop of a hat always left her speechless.

“Dearest, you are not experienced enough to navigate the world on your own. I have no doubt that you love Richard; however, just like with Mike, I know this will not work. You think you do as well, since there are feelings involved, but I know better. Have I ever been wrong in the past? You tried it before, but in the end, you walked away like I said you should. Dearest, you are stubborn; you got that from me. What I do is to ensure that your bullheaded nature does not lead you astray.”

He softly tapped her palms, as if to offer her comfort.  When she looked at her father, she was met with that expression. He was smiling, but he had that expression on his face. That very look had haunted her throughout her life. That empty, piercing look probed her soul; what it was searching for, she didn't know. She was looking around his face, as if the shell in front of her was hiding a monster. A firm lump bound her neck, making breathing difficult.

She grew extremely cold and jerked her outstretched hands back, afraid to let him touch them.

“I’m glad you know I love him. This isn’t some short-term thing. He’s the one I want. I knew that the first day I laid my eyes on him. I didn’t care about the consequences then, and I don’t care now. I don’t care what anyone has to say! Am I a bad person? Yeah! Maybe! I met a married man with two children. I wanted him, I got him, and I don’t regret any of it! I love him! I love him! I love him! And I’m going to marry him! And we’re going to have another baby! And I don’t care what you or her have to say about it!” 

Her heart was racing, and her breath was ragged in her throat. It was the first time she denounced her parents. She spoke so quickly that it almost became hard to tell what was said. The face that had held a smile now showed nothing. Not anger or disgust; it was now just expressionless. He walked even closer, barely giving her any room to breathe. Marie, who stood silently the entire time, felt a presence other than theirs. She looked towards the entrance of the kitchen.

“Michonne…”

“Rick, you’re back…”

He walked to her and took her hand to leave, not paying any mind to the people in the kitchen.

“Where are we going?”

“Away from here…We're gonna have to talk, right?”

“Yeah…”

…

The couple sat on the park bench, taking in the breeze. A radiant smile swept across their faces, and their eyes glowed with electrifying excitement.

It feels good to be away from everything. It feels freeing.

After last night and this morning, this was a welcomed change of pace for Michonne, and she suspected the same for Rick as well. She turned to look at him, only to find him staring at her with eyes much calmer than they were last night.

“Rick I—”

“I'm sorry, I—”

They laughed a bit, understanding what the other was going to say. Michonne blocked her giggle and said,

“You go first.”

“Okay… Chonne I’m sorry about how I left last night. I just didn’t want to say the wrong thing…I understand why you didn’t say anything; I do. I know I ain’t exactly in the best place mentally, and I know your father; he doesn’t exactly make it any easier.” He smiled sadly.

“What you said last night, about me not defending you... You were right. I just—things with my dad are so complicated; I don’t even know how to explain it!”

Rick clasped their hands together, pulling her to him.

“Sometimes parents don’t got to hit their kids to damage ‘em; Daryl told me that… He may have raised you and cared about you, but that man isn’t a good father; it’s time you stop acting like he is.” He pulled her hand to his lips. “I thought about our family all last night, and I want us all to work. I need us all to work, but if he can’t be better, I’m sorry, baby; I don’t need him around my kids or us... I overheard what you told him; in fact, I was eavesdropping a while before I entered the room. Does that make you mad?”

“Kind of, but I'll get over it.” He chuckled at her.

“Darling, you are enough. I need you to know that.”

Her lips trembled as she tried to stop the overwhelming emotion. She managed to form a slight smile that gave way to what she was trying to overcome, although one couldn’t tell by looking at her face that both her hands, even the one he held, were shaking.

“What I said—didn’t it change what you thought about me? How you see me?”

“No, sweetheart, it doesn't. If anything, I’m relieved; you were too perfect, and you still are to me. You have the right to be selfish; ain’t nothing wrong with that. Everyone makes mistakes. I’ve done made a whole lot; it’s a wonder you're still with me. I’ve said it before: what happened with Mike wasn’t great, but you saved him and yourself from what was gonna be a terrible marriage... You’re not a bad person for wanting to live for yourself—as yourself.”

“I think most people would disagree with everything I’ve done to this point.”

“You don’t need to care about everyone else. We just have to care about each other and be the best that we can be for our children…Chonnie, you're not some homewrecker either; we both made a choice, and my marriage had no saving to be had... I was happy with what you said to your old man. Not just because you stood up to him, but hear that you truly want to be with me despite how messed up I am or everything with Lori or that we got kids; that you want me.”

“You are messed up, but so am I. The truth is, you're getting better. You were a good man before me and Lori, and you’re a good man after, but I’m—what I’ve got, there’s no fixing that.”

He wiped her tears from her cheeks, tracing his fingertips along her bottom lashes. As she buried her face in the flesh of his neck, he wrapped her in his warm embrace and tenderly kissed the top of her head. She had managed to deceive him for so long while suffering so much.

Four years, and I didn't know. You deserve better.

“Next week, I want you to join me in my sessions with Dr. Job. Okay? I won’t take no for an answer.”

“Okay.”

“We’re gonna be just fine, darling. I know it, and if we’re not, we’ll make it work. Not just for us, but for our family. It ain’t gonna be easy; we'll do it though, and we’ll be strong for each other. From now on, we live how we choose.”

“I love you...”

“I love you more. ”

The pair was in a better emotional state after having a fully open discussion. They picked up the boys and decided to spend the remainder of the day having fun as a family. When they got back home, they fully expected an argument between the two sides; however, they kept their words limited. Rick suspected it had to do with the twins being present. The same happened the next day as well.

…

Friday evening came quickly. Michonne, Rick and Sasha had rented out a guest house for the weekend, where Maggie, Daryl and a few others were present. They were going to bring the kids, but Marie had offered to babysit them. It was a peace offering, no matter how temporary it was Rick and Michonne agreed. Maggie rode with them. 

When they got there, Sasha, Daryl and Michonne's friend, Rosita, were already there, along with Rick’s friends Carol and Morgan, who would arrive the following day. Michonne and Maggie hopped out of the car, leaving Rick to bring the bags in. Daryl, who was smoking outside, went to help his friend. Sasha and Rosita, hearing the car, came out to see.

“Heyyyy bitchessss!” Sasha yelled at the top of her lungs.

Michonne and Maggie hugged everybody around them, their passionate actions a tribute to the overwhelming happiness that flowed from their spirit. Their laughter resonated like bells in the air, a melody of pure delight that raised everybody's mood.

“Where’s Abe?”

“He’s staying with Noah till his sister comes to take over tomorrow. Until then, I’m free whores!” She laughed, pushing out her tongue. She already had a shot in her hand.

“How much have you had to drink?”

“She had six shots!” Rosita made it known before Sasha could lie.

“We’re here for a break from life; what the hell did you expect? Come drink with me!”

“I can’t.” Maggie shut her down

“Chonne can’t either.”

“What?”

Everybody other than Michonne and Daryl watched Rick as he took the last bag to head inside, confused as to why he was speaking for her. Maggie looked at Michonne while the rest fluctuated between the duo, putting two and two together.”

“Noooo…” Rosita covered her mouth.

“You guys got knocked up again! Whatever bug you two have, you better keep it to yourselves! I’m not playing!”

“Would that be so bad?”

“Shhh, Mags; he may not be here, but he might hear you. He’s been begging for a girl!”

The air ignited with an electric charge, such that everyone in attendance swirled with eagerness for what was to come, infusing the occasion with an irresistible energy.

“Guys, come inside!” Rick called out to the girls.

#richonne #rick x michonne #rick grimes #michonne grimes #richonne fandom #richonne fanfiction #richonne fic #michonne #alternate universe

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 89

Why is Ashley's hammer so tiny?

Strange voice choices ... Ashley: "Wait, what's an English accent?" Proceeds to entirety fail to work it out ... oh, but Taliesin trying Jester is so much worse ... Travis, what the fuck is that? Oh, but Marisha's Nott is actually pretty good ... XD

Oh yeah, that's right ... it's full of city!

Great way to sell it, Laudna ...

Oooooh, plotting ... goodie!

Aha, Juggernaut ... and two little chewing gum guys? Oh, they're FUNGUS? Weird ... Gaz Tomo? Oh yes, of course ... he's huge ... and like a huge John Wayne kinda dude? Crazy ... XD

Myceit? Intriguing ... so they ARE sentient mushrooms, basically ... bizarre ...

Way to give the big man a major existential crisis regarding his food choices, FCG ...

Wait, so the Weave Mind are big bad eugenicists? Boooooo!

"Marked at birth?" Fuck ... this really IS a Mind control-based totalitarian dictatorship ...

The Arx Creonum ... yeesh ...

I'm sorry ... RESET?!!! Like the Matrix?

The Crush? Hmmmm ...

"Psychic bioengineering" ... weird ... it IS a shame they can't get their hands on some of this tech ...

"Taking out the trash?" Oof ...

Quakes? Crap! Not good!

Hey, sometimes revenge can be good ...

Ozo Cruth? This would be the Big Bad, then ...

Oh, I get it. So Gaz is like Johnny Bravo, then? XD

The Tectus? Ewww ... politicians? There's just no getting away from them ...

Holies? Sounds like fun ...

Oh yeah, proper theological GENOCIDE ... not good at all ...

The Great Question ... would you really WANT to know?

The endeavours .. okay then ...

A lengthy figure? If couldn't be ... FUCKING IRA!!! You prick! He couldn't have made it easier for them, could he?

Oh yeah, he's still SO CREEPY ...

Evoroa? A missing Bormodo scientist they need to find? Hmmm ...

Colloquium of Candescense ...

Ludinus' doomsday MacGuffin ... hmmm ...

Dark emerald dragonborn? An emissary of the Strife Emperor ... Bizodan Amorai? Ye gods ... make it easier on us, Matt, PLEASE ...

Prison Break at the Glass Garrison? Ooooh ... THAT sounds like a hot ticket ...

The Changebringer is "broken road?" Hmmmm ...

ASSASSINATION MISSION?!!!

Oh wait .. are they going after Liliana?

Sleep on it ... oh boy ...

Oh my gods ... mushroom escorts? Adorable ... and kind of creepy too ...

A literal bag of water ... CLEAN water, at least ...

This is NOT very private ...

Yes. How DOES Imogen feel about this?

How old IS Imogen? She's 28? Okay, then ...

Oh crap ... orb check? Ah hell ... Otohan is closer now ...

Other possibility is maybe going up against Fearne's real DAD ... hmmmm ...

Oh boy ... emotional intensity engaged! O.O Either choice will definitely be heavy ...

IS there ant chance of bringing Liliana back to the good? Would it be a lost cause? Hmmmm ...

Hey, come on, guys! Bad idea! You NEVER split the party!

"The worst Denny's ever" ... no shit, Chetney!

CAN Fearne summon her demon booty call?

Coin flip! Yay! Whoa ... it lands ON ITS EDGE?!!! Oof ... not a good sign ...

Yes! A Greater Restoration would be helpful, yes ... bring Ashton back up to top level again, Letters!

Ooooh ... the tragic backstory of Gaz Tomo! Whoa ... that's pretty cool ...

29? That's like a STUPID good persuasion ...

The Woven Music Grand Hall? Hmmm ...

Himbo of the Moon ... pfft ... XD

Every part of this plan does sound like a REALLY BIG RISK ...

Oh boy ... so they're gonna try to get through to Liliana in dream tonight ... oof ... this is SO SPECTACULARLY STUPID ...

Oh gods ... the lights or going RED ... never good ...

Holy shit, FCG could bring EVERYBODY along this time? Astounding ... and really dangerous ... yeah, better not to ...

CONTACT!!! Matt: "And we're gonna go to break!" AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Nervous ... so very nervous ...

Oh boy ... this is gonna be such s tough, emotionally devastating heart-to-heart, isn't it?

Fuck ... Liliana really HAS drunk thd Kool-Aid all the way, hasn't she?

Gods damn it, Matthew! Why do you have to be such s bloody amazing actor right now? She's in SO MUCpain right now you're gonna BREAK US ...

Waking up again ... yeah, genuine lost cause ... seriously, this sucks so bad it REALLY HURTS ...

Oh come ON Ashton, just SLEEP already! You're a mess! You need it!

This IS the question, IS Ludinus' promise to the Reilorans of relocation a lie or DOES IT have a basis in fact in his plans? Is he just leading them to unwitting ruin? Is he betraying them?

Ah yes ... the difference between religion and truth ...

Hey! Vecna gets sort of namedropped! Yay!

The Dunamussy! Ye gods ... wait, Laura, WHAT ARE YOU ... AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! You fool! What have you done?

LONG REST!!! SERIOUSLY!!!

So what's the plan?

Choices ... hmmm ...

Fearne goes looking for Ira ... the Nightmare King is tinkering ... flirty questions ensue ...

Ah yeah, the skinny on Zathuda ... Ira is LITERALLY just sore about them pulling one over on him ... basically Ludinus is Mark Zuckerberg in this scenario ...

All three of the Witches immediately verbally admonish Ira about being a dick ... including the two who aren't there ...

She wants his weird flying beast ... oh she wants A PONY!!! XD

Checking in ... ARE THEY going to go with Ira?

Insight check ... Ashley: "I don't know!" LOL

Evoroa? Might be the wise play ...

Going back to the meeting table to find out what's what, then ...

Meanwhile Laudna asks how Imogen is ... Holy fuck ... Laudna GENUINELY dropped sn I love you into the conversation ... and now Imogen's invoking the Delilah situation ... oof ... Imogen drops an I love you too! O.O A KISS!!! It's really sad but SO ROMANTIC too ...

As far as Laudna's concerned Imogen is a full blown SUPERHERO ...

Interrupted by sentient mushrooms ...

Quannika? That is SO HARD to spell ...

Meeting is called to order, then ...

Ira in a bandit mask ... XD

Oh, so HE'S making the selection? Okay ... Fearne, yes, since she DOES have a stake in this too ...

Detonation and infiltration, then ...

Screech Blooms? Fascinating ...

Oh ... hello, Unsettling Presence ...

Selecting their teams, then ... so, Fearne, Ashton, FCG for detonation, the others for Infiltration ...

Oooh ... spooky Reiloran mage type ... a really OLD one ... Ivanas? Cool ...

Yeah, I don't think ANY of us trust Ira as far as we can throw him ...

Working out the technical aspects if what they're about, now ...

Wow, they're all SO BAD at pep talks ...

Charcoal? Hmmm ... oh, it's Invisibility? Cool ... AND they can SEE each other ... ALSO cool ...

So, time to head out, then ...

Seeming for detonation team, then ... oh cool, now FCG is a sentient mushroom ... XD Meanwhile Bormodo Fearne now has a Mister Cytaa ... :3

Separation for the duration, then ... descending into the city below ...

A strange mockery of Exandrian architecture, but twisted through half remembered dreams ... interesting ...

And there's soldiers everywhere ... great ... preparing for the coming invasion, clearly ...

And that's it for tonight ... split missions! Intriguing setup for next time, then ...

#critical role #crit role campaign 3 #crit role spoilers #campaign 3 spoilers #campaign 3 episode 89 #matt mercer #marisha ray #laudna #travis willingham #chetney pock o'pea #laura bailey #imogen temult #liam o'brien #orym of the air ashari #ashley johnson #fearne calloway #taliesin jaffe #ashton greymoore #sam riegel #fresh cut grass

[helianskies]

Office parties suck, please? I suffered through one last night, need someone else to do it as well. If you can have Spain or England or both in the story I'll be happy.

hi anon! i hope you have recovered from your endeavour - please have a cookie for bravery 🍪 - and pls enjoy this bc well,, suffering is temporary. Arthur is about to learn that :) (also shame on me for making this engspa but anon honey you did ask for one or both idiots and this is an engspa addiction zone i can't be stopped >:'v)

Mull

Office parties suck. There is no debate to be had on the matter, and Arthur knows his mind is not going to be changed by attending this year’s party. 

Last year, he’d been roped into it—bribed with free drinks and the potential to schmooze for a promotion he ended up losing to Greg of all people—and by the time he got home, the holiday spirit had been drained out of him like mulled wine from the keg. 

So this year, he is adamant. He is not going to the damn office party, no matter what!

…until, that is, a certain someone comes over to his desk in the morning as he’s buried in his emails, and catches him with his guard down.

“Are you coming along this evening?” someone asks.

Arthur hums to acknowledge there’s been an interaction, but his eyes are trying to make sense of the words he’s reading. Seriously, does he need to be in this email chain? He could do without the nonsense and plain stupidity, especially on a Friday!

“It’s my first since working here,” the other goes on, a muffle in his mind. “I hope it’s good…”

“It’ll be fine,” Arthur mumbles. His eyes are still on his screen. His brain is still deciphering paragraph-long sentences. 

“I was wondering, though… If you aren’t going with anyone else, would you… consider going with me? Just so I’m not the, uh, the weirdo going in alone, haha…”

His finger clicks the mouse, deleting the email. 

“Yeah, sure.”

“R— Really?”

Another three emails have since appeared in his inbox. Arthur wants to cry. 

“Mmh…”

“Wow… Thanks, Arthur!”

And at long last, he looks away from his computer, unsure what it is he’s being thanked for, only to find Antonio smiling at him. Antonio, one of few ‘friends’ in the office he has. Antonio, who’s been there for only about six months yet is universally adored. Antonio, who, at least in private, is probably adored by no one as much as he is adored by Arthur, who, as he continues to look at the other, realises what he has just done. 

He can’t even be mad about it. 

He can’t say ‘no’ now, because it would likely upset Antonio.

He can’t do anything, in fact, other than smile back at him and ask, “Shall I meet you there?” 

“I can pick you up,” Antonio offers, as his heart screams. “You aren’t far from me.”

And that is what happens, then, later that evening after the work day is over, the office is closed, and Arthur has had a chance to freshen himself up. 

He still can’t believe he’s doing this. He can’t believe, firstly, that he is going to the damn Christmas party again, but he also can’t believe that he’s that useless a human being he hasn’t even had the decency to tell Antonio since his unwitting agreement that, actually, he doesn’t want to go! He could have made an excuse! Something like, the cat’s ill, got to run to the vet, or maybe, suit shrunk in the wash and I don’t think going naked is wise so I’m out!

But no! He’s bottled it! And now he’s there, standing in a not-that-warm venue, dying over making small talk about his uneventful holidays-to-come, and longing for his bed. 

Somewhat luckily for him, after a few moments of further lamenting, his saviour appears with another glass of hot wine (it’s all the company thought to provide other than prosecco, and he just isn’t a bubbles man!). 

“Here,” Antonio says, passing over a glass. He stands next to Arthur as the blond takes a sip and savours the warmth it provides.

“Thanks,” Arthur replies.

“No worries,” Antonio nods. “I think it’s the least I can do for you, after dragging you out here. I’m starting to regret my choices…”

The Brit just can’t help but snort, humoured. “Office parties suck,” he remarks, to which Antonio hums in agreement.

“Remind me not to do this next year,” he says. “All this effort for cheap wine and stinky cheese!”

“Not your cup of tea?”

“Not my…?”

“Not your thing,” Arthur clarifies. “Not your idea of a good party.”

“Oh! No,” the brunet responds, shaking his head before taking a sip of his wine. Then he says, “My sort of party involves better music, more dancing, and more drinking. I would hazard to say that mulled wine is not really ‘my cup of tea’ either.”

“No? Is it not a bit like sangria?”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“Sorry…”

“Still,” Antonio says, “I’ll make it up to you.”

Arthur doesn’t want him to feel obliged or guilty; cheap wine and stinky cheese aside, he’s had a nice evening thanks to some shared laughter, some moaning, and some, well, cheap wine and stinky cheese. 

But in all seriousness, Antonio has been good company. Even if he would have liked to have stayed home, he… can’t deny he’s enjoyed the opportunity to get to spend time with Antonio away from the office. It’s been nice to just talk with him, without the pressure of it having to be work-related somehow, managers looming over them. It’s been nice to feel at ease, and more like themselves—more real—even if only slightly.

So Arthur tells him, “Don’t worry about it. The evening hasn’t been too unbearable.”

“Oh?” Antonio croons. “You think?”

“Yeah, well, you’re not unbearable.”

“Flattery! How kind,” the other jokes. “I’m still going to make it up to you. I feel responsible for your suffering.”

“What suffering?” Arthur remarks as he sips his wine.

“It’s like you said, no? Office parties suck?”

“Oh, yeah. For sure.” He lowers his glass. “They suck less with good company, though.”

Antonio stares at him for a moment. He can feel his gaze—can feel the warmth and nerves grow the longer it goes on. Arthur holds his cards close to his chest and says no more, his own eyes turning to the room, their colleagues, the small talk to come. 

But then, just out of the corner of his eye, he glimpses a smile. A lovely, soft, wine-humoured smile. 

That’s all Arthur needs to convince himself that… maybe not all office parties suck…

[ ficlet collection on ao3! ] [ prompt list here! ]

#helia writes #hws england #hws spain #engspa #glad to this day i have not had to experience an office party like these poor fools #but hey maybe toni will take arthur out for a drink to make up for it all as promised :3c #and who knows what could follow >:3c #also pls consider this my 'christmas fic offering' this year #i haven't planned anything else so ;')

[odekirk]

For with shame I own I returned to thee O God because I had nowhere else to go

How can such repentance as mine be sincere

What will become of my soul

—The 1830 embroidered confession of Elizabeth Parker, a suicidal teenage girl

As I cannot write I put this down simply and freely as I might speak to a person to whose intimacy and tenderness I can fully intrust myself and who I know will bear with all my weaknesses

I was born at Ashburnham in the county of Sussex in the year 1813 of poor but pious parents my fathers occupation was a labourer for the Rt Hon the Earl of A my mother kept the Rt Hon the Countefs of A Charity School and by their ample conduct and great industry were enabeled to render a comfortable living for their family which were eleven in number William Samuel Mary Edmond Jesse Elizabeth Hannah Jane George Louisa Lois endeavouring to bring us up in the fear and admonition of the lord as far as lay in their power always giving us good advice and wishing us to do unto others as we would they should do unto us thus our parents pointed out the way in which we were to incounter with this world wishing us at all times to put our trust in god to Walk in the paths of virtue to bear up under all the trials of this life even till time with us should end.

But at the early age of thirteen I left my parents to go and live with Mr and Mrs P to nurse the children which had I taken my Fathers and Mothers advice I might have remained in peace until this day but like many others not knowing when I was well of in fourteen months I left them for which my friends greatly blamed me then I went to Fairlight housemaid to Lieut G but there cruel usage soon made me curse my Disobedience to my parents wishing I had taken there advice and never left the Worthy Family of P but then alas to late they treated me with cruelty too horrible to mention for trying to avoid the wicked design of my master I was thrown down stairs but I very soon left them and came to my friends but being young and foolish I never told my friends what had happened to me they thinking I had a good place and good usage because I never told them to the contrary they blamed my temper.

Then I went to live with Col P Catsfield kitchenmaid where I was well of but there my memory failed me and my reason was taken from me but the worthy Lady my Mistress took great care of me and placed me in the care of my parents and sent for Dr W who soon brought me to know that I was wrong for Coming to me one day and finding me persisting against my Mother for I had forsaken her advice to follow the works of darkness For I acknowledge being guilty of that great sin of selfdestruction which I certainly should have done had it not been for the words of that worthy Gentleman Dr W. he came to me in the year 1829 he said unto me Elizabeth I understand you are guilty of saying you shall destroy yourself but never do that for Remember Elizabeth if you do when you come before that great God who is so good to you he will say unto you Thou hast taken that life that I gave to you Depart from me ye cursed but let me never hear those words pronounced by the O Lord for surely I never felt such impressions of awe striking cold upon my breast as I felt when Dr W said so to me. But oh with what horror would those words pierce my heart to hear them pronounced by an offended God

But my views of things have been for some time very different from what they were when I first came home I have seen and felt the vanity of childhood and youth And a bove all I have felt the stings of a guilty Conscience for the great Disobedience to my parents in not taking their advice wherewith the Lord has seen fit to visit me with this affliction but my affliction is a light affliction to what I have deserved but the Lord has been very merciful to me for he has not cut me of in my sins but he has given me this space for repentance. For blessed be God my frequent schemes for destroying myself were all most all defeated. But oh the dreadful powerful force of temptation for being much better I went to stay with Mrs Welham she being gone out one day and left me alone soon after she was gone I thought within myself surely I am one of the most miserable objects that ever the Lord let live surely no one ever had such thoughts as me against the Lord and I arose from my seat to go into the bedroom and as I was going I thought within myself ah me I will retire into the most remotest part of the wood and there execute my design and that design was that wilful design of self destruction But the Lord was pleased to stop me in this mad career for seeing the Bible lay upon the shelf I took it down and opened it and the first place that I found was the fourth chapter of S. Luke where it tells us how our blessed Lord was tempted of Satan I read it and it seemed to give me some relief for now and not till now have I been convinced of my lost and sinful state not till now have I seen what a miserable condition I have brought myself into by my sins for now do I see myself lost and undone for ever undone the Lord does take pity of me and help me out of this miserable condition.

But the only object I have now in view is that of approaching death I feel assured that sooner or later I must die and oh but after death I must come to Judgement what can I do to be saved what can I do to be saved from the wrath of that God which my sins have deserved which way can I turn oh whither must I flee to find the Lord wretch wretch that I am who shall deliver me from the body of this death that I have been seeking what will become of me ah me what will become of me when I come to die and kneel before the Lord my maker oh with what confidence can I approach the mercy seat of God oh with what confidence can I approach it. And with what words must I chuse to address the Lord my maker pardon mine inquity pardon mine inquity O Lord for It is Great Oh how great is thy mercy oh thou most merciful Lord for thou knowest even the secret desires of me thine unworthy servant.

O Lord I pray the Look down with an Eye of pity upon me and I pray the turn my wicked Heart Day and night have I Cried unto the Lord to turn my wicked Heart the Lord has heard my prayer the Lord has given heed to my Complaint.

For as long as life extends extends Hopes blest dominion never ends

For while the lamp holds on to burn the greatest sinner may return

Life is the season God has given to fly from hell to rise to Heaven the Day of grace flees fast away their is none its rapid course can stay.

The Living know that they must die But ah the dead forgotten lie Their memory and their name is gone They are alike unknowing and unknown.

Their hatred and their love is lost. Their envy's buried in the dust By the will of God are all things done beneath the circuit of the sun

Therefore O Lord take pity on me I pray Whenever my thoughts do from the stray And lead me Lord to thy blest fold. That I thy glory may behold

Grant Lord that I soon may behold the not as my Judge to condemn and punish me but as my Father to pity and restore me For I know with the O Lord no thing is impossible thou can if thou wilt restore my bodily health And set me free from sin and misery For since my earthly physician has said he can do no more for me in the will I put my trust O blessed Jesus grant that I may never more offend the or provoke the to cast me of in thy displeasure

Forgive my sin my folly cure Grant me the help I need And then although I am mean and poor I shall be rich indeed

Lord Jesus have mercy upon me take me O kind shepherd take me a poor wandering sinner to thy fold Thou art Lord of all things itself death is put under thy feet O Lord save me lest I fall from thee never to rise again O God keep me from all evil thoughts The little hope I feel that I shall obtain mercy gives a happiness to which none of the pleasures of sin can ever be compared. I never knew anything like happiness till now O that I may but be saved on the day of judgement God be merciful to me a sinner

But oh how can I expect mercy who went on in sin until Dr W remind me of my wickedness For with shame I own I returned to thee O God because I had nowhere else to go How can such repentance as mine be sincere What will become of my soul

#words #reading

[isnt-it-pretty]

WIP #1

Okay, as promised, here is one of my Cyno wips that's unlikely to ever be finished. It's set during Windblume when everybody is in Mondstadt.

Tighcyno/cynonari/whatever you want to call it, ft insomnia and ptsd. Oh also mentioned Cyno & Kaveh and Cyno & Lisa

...

The Goth Hotel was grand, the furniture beautifully carved out of solid cuihua wood and the fabric made from soft linen. It felt milky against his skin, catching on calluses and scars. The red of the sheets reminded him of blood.

They were lucky to get a room during Windblume, let alone two, but Albedo seemed to have some sway with the owner. It made sense, considering he was the Chief Alchemist of the Knights of Favonius. It saved them from having to try and stay with Lisa, which, while Cyno was sure she would have been amenable, wouldn't have been ideal. He and Tighnari could pass as simple friends this way, an illusion he'd rather keep for the time being. It was a measure of safety. Being connected to the General Mahamatra put those he cared for at the greatest risk. He always worried about that.

Mondstadt was louder than Sumeru City, even at night. He didn't know why it surprised him-- it was the city of bards, after all-- but it did. Festival goers celebrated into the early hours of the morning, the sound of Angels Share audible even from this distance. Cyno wondered how Tighnari could stand it with hearing more sensitive than his own, but his partner somehow slept soundly in the large bed, unbothered by the noise or Cyno's absence. 

Cyno couldn't sleep. As much as he wanted to be Cyno the Adventurer, there were things he couldn't leave behind in Sumeru. Dreams haunted his respite like fingernails on flint, memories buzzing just beneath his skin until he wanted nothing more than to claw them free. Insomnia had always been a struggle for him, but with the Akasha no longer harvesting dreams, it left them free to disturb him. The crowds didn't help-- he never liked them, and couldn't help but search shadows and rooftops of adversaries his loved ones might have missed. His anxiety had steadily mounted since disposing of the Grand Sages, paranoia clinging to his thoughts. 

What if one of Azar's allies made a move against them? What if they didn't find all the loyalists inside the Akademiya? What if they went after Collei or Tighnari or Kaveh-

Had he made the right choices? There was no way to know, but when the sky was dark and Cyno couldn't sleep, he went over them, re-examining every scrap of knowledge he had available. It was a futile endeavour, and yet he couldn't stop. 

He scratched his wrist absently as he sat on the window ledge, staring at the darkened streets beyond the glass. Exhaustion called to him, but Cyno's tossing and turning would just wake Tighnari up. It was bad enough his partner hadn't gotten a good rest on the trip here, kept awake by Cyno's inability to sleep. There was no reason to make Tighnari more worried than he already was. 

Things had just been so overwhelming recently. He didn't know how to handle it, and wasn't that shameful? He was the General Mahamatra, and yet his archon had been forced to step in and order him to take time off. 

He hadn't told Tighnari that. Maybe, if he didn't, he could continue this balancing act of pretending everything was fine, that he wasn't falling apart at the seams beneath the weight of his own memories. 

Sometimes, when Cyno closed his eyes, he pictured the Court of Desolation and its endless sands. He pictured Taj's body crushed by rock, swallowed by the desert. Others, he remembered what it was like to be too small to fight back, barely a child pitted against adults who had no fear of harming him, the way his fingers broke as he struggled to block blunted strikes. He remembered Azar, too, the things that could have gone wrong had he not met the Traveler. Tighnari's corpse left to rot in the forest, and Collei once again subjected to the whims of the Doctor. It was enough to make him feel insane, the thoughts cycling in his head until they were barely distinguishable from each other, just a knot in his chest that beat in time with his frantic heart. 

Kaveh noticed, his concern manifesting in sharing cups of coffee at the Pupsa Cafe over cards and the promise of a sympathetic ear. Lisa would, too, as soon as she saw him. His history with these struggles was well known to them both. They had been there for his worst years, when even going to class was a struggle. Bringing him food and studying quietly in his room but commonplace, then. He hadn't been able to handle the cafeteria, or the House of Deana-- too vigilant of the eyes that trailed him, the people who wanted to see him hurt. 

Tighnari didn't press when Cyno avoided the topic, but he knew he was worried. He just didn't know how to explain, how to put his thoughts into words.

#my writing #hurting cyno like it's my god given right #sometimes i'm creative #wips

[justatalkingface]

What do you think about the hosu trio (Izuku-Shoto-Tenya)? I like their dynamic and I wish it was more prevalent. Also I'm rather disappointed that it is overshadowed by the main trio and Uraraka-Tenya-Izuku trio, when it deserves the spotlight as well.

Honestly, I'm still of the opinion that the 'Main Trio' thing is bullshit to prop up Bakugou, and they should have stayed with the Uraraka, Tenya, Izuku dynamic, and just put Shoto with them organically.

Let me explain: for all the various 'Trios' in the series, they're built around Izuku, right? But the first Trio was still there, and still allowed to be relevant at that point in time, and even when it was made less relevant that dynamic never stopped. So then Shoto is beaten into friendship, and there's this whole interesting arc we never had that could have explored him more, via Tenya and Uraraka, and those three becoming friends in their own merits.

Shoto wants to become friends with Izuku, and since Izuku hangs out with Uraraka and Tenya all the time he wants to do the same with them, but he's having problems with the doing of it; not because they hate him or anything, but because he's an awkward traumatized disaster who doesn't know how to people.

Cue Tenya and Iida teaming up. Suddenly, there's a connection between them, forged in a life and death battle, and because Iida is Iida, and both really Good and also blunt in a way Shoto could use, he starts reaching out in these very basic ways that a lot of people would find awkward, but is just right to reach Shoto who still doesn't get a lot of things, and helps form a connection to bring him into the group proper.

From there, they could develop Shoto's friendship with both him and Izuku, and then Uraraka either via sort of osmosis, or some sort of event to bond them together in their own right; my heart says a sort of mutual Izuku defense alliance against Bakugou, because I feel like that's a thing they'd do (and not because Iida wouldn't, for the record, try and protect Izuku, but because he's inflexible in his thinking in ways that I think would make him miss things that Uraraka, with her common sense and Shoto, with his history with a person like Bakugou, could have noticed and responded to accordingly, and in turn lead Iida to that same realization, where in of course he'd side with them 110%, Plus Ultra).

It never happened, though, because at that point Bakugou was being hastily reworked into the plot, taking on Shoto's role as a 'friendly' rival which in turn disrupted a lot of other characters in a sort of domino effect, and well, Uraraka and Tenya started to be left behind in the process, and this is a shame because there was so much there to explore with them. Not only as their individual characters, but with Uraraka as a view into the average citizen, and Tenya into look into the good side of heroes, as contrasts to Shoto and Endeavour as a look at the corrupt side of heroism, that really could have fleshed out MHA's worldbuilding.

#ask #mha critical #bnha critical #ochako deserves better #iida deserves better #shoto deserves better #bakugou critical

[ofallthingsnasty]

But imagining a yandere forcefully erasing memories or changing them and the reader finds out? How fucked would that be where you couldn't even trust your own mind??? What's implanted or deleted? What *is* you actual past?

Oof especially if there also was a forced hybridization too? Puppy or kitty instincts you thought were completely normal for you are actually just. Created by the yandere for their pleasure (ie,,,, monthly heats that need to be taken care of,,,)

Anon, your mind 🤯 The way you can't ever be sure of yourself but you just know something is fundamentally wrong... Ah, and the way the yandere could exploit this to verbally degrade you if they're a mean one. Or it's just another way for them to show how much power they have over you - they don't care one bit that you know, they actually want you to see what they can do to you... Delicious 🤭 And forced hybridization? Oh my god just imagine realizing that all that pain, the begging to be bred, to be filled was a fluke? I'd never recover from that shame. To be nothing but a little puppet for your captor. Humiliating to the core.

Anything that involves mind break like that immediately makes me think of Overhaul - he wouldn't care if you found out, either - but would he really want a pathetic little pet who needs to be fucked ever so often? 🤔 I could see him doing this to you as one of his many experiments, with his quirk as the usual fail-safe. And god, he doesn't want to admit it but it feels good to see you on the ground before him, sniveling like the pathetic little creature you are, finally treating him like he deserves. I think Hizashi is a good fit for the memory wipe + hybridization combo, as well - you just know that man is practically itching for your synthetic heats like the sleazy fuck he is. And he wants that happy relationship, your submission - too bad you caught him. Oh well, if you can't play nice then at least you know what he's capable of. Your loss, sweetheart.

And while I don't see them as suuuper into hybrids to the point that they'd try to change you into one, Enji and Sir would be pretty happy with a placated, demure darling with a memory wipe. After finding out the truth, I think Endeavour would lock you up until you swear up and down that each and every one of those happy memories was real after all and Sir would gaslight the crap out of you. Straight-up denial and slight mockery 24/7 until you really don't know what's wrong and what's right and everything just feels like a fever dream.

I also think that Enji wouldn't have any trouble with beating the realization out of you. At all.

#ask #anon #tw.yandere #tw.hybrids #tw.pet play #yandere bnha #and i think there are many who wouldn't want to do this bc they want your genuine love and nothing fake #but enji and sir just want peace and someone at home methinks #and we don't talk about kai that man has no love for you dhjshasj #sir tag #/endeavour #/present mic #/overhaul

[elise-51-blog]

Tag Post, one of those, they are fun

tagged: @prince-of-elsinore Thank you lovely <3 ☺️

rules: tag some people you'd like to know better/catch up with.

last song: To be slightly less predictable, I gotta say "Brand New Start" by Paul Weller, this ol' roughened yet golden voice singing in a kind of achey way, about getting his shit together, fixing up what's broken, finding something real, making this old fixer upper of a soul work again, like a new thing. OH, PAUL.

currently reading: The usual shame about having not picked up and finished an actual book in awhile. On the bright side, reading all kind of great fanfic, including this little beaut of a gen fic by an author called ceramicheart, anything by them really: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42465276

last movie: I don't know if the three hour "History of the Eagles" counts, but I've become obsessed with this man right here:

Sitting here with my guitar I don't deserve, trying to eek out some semblance of the intro to "Life in the Fast Lane." Joe Walsh, you fucking dude, you.

currently watching: Also trying to cut back, but I started re-watching some of 'Endeavour' which is WONDERFUL, particularly the episode "Fugue". Shaun Evans and Roger Allam shine so brightly together. Watch Inspector Thursday take Morse home and feed him, good for the soul.

currently craving: Beer and tacos, and it not being a work night.

tagging: only if y’all feel like it! A no pressure catch up with @justtoarguewithyou @stevieraebarnes @allthatsentimentalcandyfloss @storyshark2005 @savageandwise

#paul weller #modfather #joe walsh #fanfic #ceramicheart #Youtube

[mmkin]

these damn sandtrout

I might not talk about it much, but I'm a pretty big Dune fangirl, even more so than I am for Star Trek. I recently wrote a new Dune story as part of my Memories of Dune collection.

Content warning - none. Link goes to my AO3, story also included under cut.

Memories of Dune - ??? - 5000 BG

VI

Sandtrout are not native to Arrakis, or at least that was true about 15,000 years before the original Dune. When Leto II accesses his Other Memory, he dives deep into the past and it is revealed that Arrakis used to be a wet planet before sandtrout were brought to it, causing the planet to dry out so they could evolve into sandworms.

This intrigued me and thus came around this story. I hope you enjoy it!

o0o0o0o

???

ca. 5000 BG

The planet was filled with oceans and swamps, but the air was breathable, and there was enough dry land to establish a colony. The various analyses and lab results promised a fruitful future with relatively minor adaptations.

The captain of the Bold Endeavour looked through the reports. He wasn’t a scientist, but he understood the terms and analyses well enough to see that they supported what he was being told by the science team, and he appreciated their sense of caution. They were refugees from a dying planet, and tempting as it was to just throw themselves at the first promising planet they saw, the captain knew all too well that there were hidden dangers everywhere. Their home planet had dried over the last half millennia because of the huge sandworms that roamed its arid surface.

Naturally, measures had been taken to try to stop their incursion, but the planet dried more as the giant worms stole the water. Once-thriving cities fell before the sand and the giant worms. People tried to exterminate the worms, but it was no easy task when the bastards hid in the sand and could create pits from below, inhaling people, buildings, and vehicles into their maw.

Many decades were spent in preparation for what could – and did – become the inevitable. The worms were winning, the planet was all but theirs. An ark was built, collecting people, plants, and animals, and so the Bold Endeavour took off into space. Perhaps those left behind would find a solution at the eleventh hour, but if not, well, at least the ark held the hope of survival for their civilization.

The captain nodded and gave the orders. The ship was opened and the colonists were sent out. Plants and seeds were brought out of the hydroponics and cryo-storage. One by one, certain animals were hatched or released.

o0o0o0o

“So, what do we do with these?" one of the younger scientists asked as she stared at the tank of the creatures that would eventually become known as sandtrout. These creatures had appeared sometime after the home planet started drying out, and people noticed that they were drawn to water. So when there were these amorphous blobs, there was water. Water-seekers, they were called.

If these animals had been studied more closely – and if the scientists had had more time before they had to prepare the ark – they would have realized that the connection to water did not mean what they thought it did.

“I mean, this is a planet full of water. Do we need them?” she asked as she studied the leech-like creatures. Her companion stared at the tank for several moments, pursing his lip thoughtfully.

“I don't know. Seems a shame not to let them out. But as you said, there's plenty of water. It's quite overwhelming at times," he said with a chuckle. They were both born after most of the world's oceans had dried up, a scant few lakes and rivers remaining in the vast dusty terrain. And that water dwindled through their childhood. Both of them remembered all too well the strict water rationing and the very real threat of dehydration overcoming towns and cities.

Here, water was almost always a stone’s throw away wherever they might be. The crops were coming in well, and the colonists and animals alike were well-fed. Much of the local flora and fauna had proved itself agreeable, though there had been a few incompatibilities or accidental poisonings. This planet was not without danger, as forays into the deep water proved. Still, there appeared to be no major apex predators on land.

“There's so few of them, anyway. A new beginning for us, a new beginning for our children and animals. If they learn to adapt to this, they can prove useful in the future. And if they die out, that's life." He shrugged and walked off.

She shrugged at that. Almost all of the animals were doing decently enough in the colony. Local growth was augmented by ship-manufactured kibble. Not all of the animals thrived, and the scientists had predicted that a few species might face these issues. They would simply have to adjust and make do with what they had, which was more than adequate.

The last of the animals were removed from the facility several months later, including the water-seekers. They had been given a limited amount of water throughout the trip to conserve them, going into what appeared to be a state of hibernation.

Such curious creatures, she mused. They were relatively new in the history of their taxonomical records. Like most biological creatures, they were drawn to water, and she wondered where they had come from, especially since they’d been noticed long after the world started drying up. Fleeing from the sandworms, the biologists that studied the encroaching desert concluded.

Several scientists wheeled the tank over to a pond several hundred meters away and tipped its contents near the water. The slug-like creatures burrowed into the mud, wiggling toward the water.

o0o0o0o

The water-seekers were relatively few, but in such fertile conditions, they encapsulated water and bred, their numbers multiplying so that they could prepare the word for the next stages of their cycle.

The scientists would be blissfully unaware of what they had done because it would be almost a thousand years before the shores of the vast oceans started to recede. The aquatic predators of the deep waters found their territories dwindling. Swamps drained to transform into forests which gave way to savannahs that eventually transformed into deserts. This time around, the presence of sandworms was noted long after the water-seekers.

Since the water-seekers had been released onto this planet, the colony split up, establishing cities on other landmasses, people spreading across the planet as planned, across the generations. Water was plenty, and so were the crops that grew with its sustenance. The descendants of the ark flourished, creating different societies, thinking they had all the time in the world, their dry homeworld little more than a footnote in history and a mythical place in story.

Societies rose and fell as they did on any world, older history becoming obscured with more recent events like strata in layers of the earth. Still, some people studied history, intrigued by the stories of the ancient world and its parallels with what was happening centuries after the colonization of the planet that would become known as Arrakis. Records were dug through, experiments conducted, and as has so often happened in the past and would in the future, the correct answer was finally deduced after centuries if not thousands of years of mistaken belief.

The damn water-seekers were responsible for the dry-out. They didn't merely drink water, they took it somewhere deep underground, far too deep for drilling, so that they could evolve into the next stage and become the sandworms that had terrorized the old world and were now tearing apart the new.

History repeated itself as people fled the sand and the worms, the oceans turning to seas, and then lakes, disappearing as former islands connected to one another and seemingly rose out of the water if one looked at the maps that were made through the succeeding decades.

By the time the water-seekers became known as sandtrout, many of the cities on Arrakis had become blighted and emptied by sandstorms and sandworms. The last bastions established themselves on what had once been mountain ranges but were now essentially islands of stone, the only safe place from the monsters that roamed the golden seas.

#dune #frank herbert #memories of dune #sandtrout #sandworms #sandworm #arrakis #rakis #frank herbert's dune #fanfiction #writing

[viewscraftroom]

I got paid today so you know what that means…

Ignore current wips and play musical heads with new dolls!

We got some Barbie extras that I didn’t realize have matching bitchy sunglasses and a much curvier lol omg doll from Value Village whose smushed face seems even more noticeable than the last

Stop over-breeding the fashion dolls their short snouts make them harder to breathe!

My plan for today’s experiment is to try out the extra mini barbie head on an omg body (a huge shame when the extra mini body is so nice as well—may have to find a different head to replace it one day). I was also curious to see what a monster high head would look like on a barbie body, hence our lovely barbie extra gal. And in turn with our new puggy dolly, see what an omg doll looks like with a barbie head.

Now without further ado, off to the guillotine!!

At a quick glance, early gen mh heads don’t look bad on a lol omg body! Good to know for any future endeavours.

Next I popped off Barbie’s head and audibly gasped “oh my god!” as soon as her head was plonked on the omg body

Her head seems bigger in the photos but it’s quite proportionate to the body and now her hair is longer than she is tall. Seeing how nice other heads look on omg bodies maybe one day I’ll invest in one of those fancy omgs with leg articulation

Next I jammed Frankie’s head onto Barbie’s body and they are lookin’ reeeeal cute

The neck peg is much better than the omg doll’s because there’s more articulation in it whereas the omg doll only really lets the head loll from side to side.

I’m hitting my image limit on this post so stay tuned for the omg tween/barbie extra mini hybrid

#custom dolls #ooak doll #hyrbid dolls #doll customization

[bethanydelleman]

What do you think of Mrs Norris?

Sometimes she's funny, a lot of the time she's cruel, she is a busybody, and obsequious without shame.

But the scene that always makes me hate her is this (Ch 23):

“Upon my word, Fanny, you are in high luck to meet with such attention and indulgence! You ought to be very much obliged to Mrs. Grant for thinking of you, and to your aunt for letting you go, and you ought to look upon it as something extraordinary; for I hope you are aware that there is no real occasion for your going into company in this sort of way, or ever dining out at all; and it is what you must not depend upon ever being repeated. Nor must you be fancying that the invitation is meant as any particular compliment to you; the compliment is intended to your uncle and aunt and me. Mrs. Grant thinks it a civility due to us to take a little notice of you, or else it would never have come into her head, and you may be very certain that, if your cousin Julia had been at home, you would not have been asked at all.”

Mrs. Norris had now so ingeniously done away all Mrs. Grant’s part of the favour, that Fanny, who found herself expected to speak, could only say that she was very much obliged to her aunt Bertram for sparing her, and that she was endeavouring to put her aunt’s evening work in such a state as to prevent her being missed.

“Oh! depend upon it, your aunt can do very well without you, or you would not be allowed to go. I shall be here, so you may be quite easy about your aunt. And I hope you will have a very agreeable day, and find it all mighty delightful... [complaining about Dr. Grant]

Mrs. Norris fetched breath, and went on again.

“The nonsense and folly of people’s stepping out of their rank and trying to appear above themselves, makes me think it right to give you a hint, Fanny, now that you are going into company without any of us; and I do beseech and entreat you not to be putting yourself forward, and talking and giving your opinion as if you were one of your cousins—as if you were dear Mrs. Rushworth or Julia. That will never do, believe me. Remember, wherever you are, you must be the lowest and last; and though Miss Crawford is in a manner at home at the Parsonage, you are not to be taking place of her. And as to coming away at night, you are to stay just as long as Edmund chuses. Leave him to settle that.”

“Yes, ma’am, I should not think of anything else.”

“And if it should rain, which I think exceedingly likely, for I never saw it more threatening for a wet evening in my life, you must manage as well as you can, and not be expecting the carriage to be sent for you. I certainly do not go home to-night, and, therefore, the carriage will not be out on my account; so you must make up your mind to what may happen, and take your things accordingly.”

There was just no reason for this. Fanny is already grateful to a fault but Mrs. Norris can't help but strip every single shred of a compliment to herself and remind her of her insignificance. And she basically wishes rain upon her on her way home.

Mrs. Norris spends the entire novel kicking a puppy and she's one of the cruelest and darkest characters in literature. The worst thing is, she's believable! Like General Tilney, she's an abusive parent or guardian, but one that doesn't leave a mark. One that no one would take the children away from...

#mrs. norris #mansfield park #fanny price #and if Fanny ever stood up to her Mrs. Norris would stomp harder #This is the morning of Mrs. Norris