#translation of the caption is: I think I really like you just the way you are | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astraltrickster · 11 months

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What frustrates me about disability advocacy is that...of all the people I've seen talk about it, 99% of them - even ones who are disabled themselves - have eventually proven that their support has limits. Really stupid and arbitrary ones, at that.

You support disabled people...but if you see an adult with a DIAPER BULGE in their pants in public it's ON SIGHT, get your kink out of my face! Actually, even if it's not a kink, that's still gross and, like, it's not like the diaper exists to CONTAIN waste, you're a biohazard! Just stay home!

You support disabled people...but, ugh, you're so sick of masks, they feel so icky, the CDC isn't advising them anymore so really how bad can it be, if you don't want to be permanently disabled even worse than you already are then why don't you just stay home forever?

You support disabled people...but if you see anyone using a non-conventional straw that someone's billed as "anti-aging" on TikTok you proudly declare that you'll smack them, because what do you mean it might be a motor control or sensory thing?

You support disabled people...but no one is REALLY so disabled that they can't manage their lights conventionally, clean their homes by themselves, or hold a pen for extended periods of time or at all; that's just something people make up as an excuse for Bad Tech and exploitative luxury services.

You support disabled people...but, god, control your by-definition-uncontrollable tics, they're SOOOO annoying and rude!

You support disabled people...but when someone stops masking or runs out of spoons and starts speaking in a choppy, hard-to-understand way, it's a joke.

You support disabled people...but AAC is, like, sooooo annoying and hard to understand, learn to talk like a normal person instead of pointing like a baby or whatever, geez.

You support disabled people...but you hate image descriptions and video transcriptions because they're, like, sooooo ugly and transcriptions SPOIL things. (Not to be confused with "frequently not having the spoons to translate images and videos into text, which is a skill; one which everyone should try to develop, but a skill nonetheless" - I get that, it happens to me, but if you take issue with OTHER people adding them to your posts for Aesthetic Reasons, you're...kind of a dick! I'm not sorry for saying it!)

You support disabled people...but you think teehee funny joke annotations are a much more valuable use of caption tracks than, you know, actual captions are.

You support disabled people...but you still concern-troll people with armchair diagnoses of heavily stigmatized disorders for harmless weirdness, or try to paint them as icons of some kind of horrible social ill.

You support disabled people...but you're still convinced that every asshole is mentally ill, probably A Narcissist, and what do you mean that's a loaded thing to call someone when a heavily stigmatized disorder is rudely misnamed as such too, isn't it easier to, like, change the name of the disorder throughout the whole system than it is to just stop using that word as your go-to Bad Person Pathologizing Word, which you definitely need? (Or worse, you see no problem with this clash because you're convinced it IS Bad Person Disorder...)

You support disabled people...but you see someone mumbling to themself on the bus and you get as far away from them as possible because it's "scary".

You support disabled people...but you constantly try to pull "gotcha"s about people telling you not to touch people's assistive devices.

You support disabled people...but someone being okay with their delusional disorder and talking about that is BAD and PROMOTING SELF-HARM.

You support disabled people...but your body positivity still focuses exclusively on "people can be healthy and fat at the same time!" as if people who ARE fat because of health issues and/or have health issues BECAUSE of their weight don't exist or deserve support.

You support disabled people...but you declare that advocates who want us all to have more access to things that improve your quality of life are the REAL ableists for acknowledging that those things that you currently can't do tend to improve quality of life.

You support disabled people...but your advocacy for yourself involves distancing yourself from people with more support needs than you.

You support disabled people...but you treat addiction of any kind, or use of anything with known addictive tendencies, as a moral failing.

You support disabled people...until the accommodations they need clash with your own, then it's not just a benign incompatibility that sucks just as much for them as it does for you; no, you are an innocent victim and they are a horrible ableist.

You support disabled people...until it's too inconvenient. Too weird. Too scary. Once that line is crossed, it's not a disability issue anymore, they're, conveniently, just a Bad Person.

It's fucking exhausting and I'm sick to death of it.

#disability #serious tag #bitching #and even after i posted this i keep thinking of more shit people have said #not gonna edit them in because this post is long and has already been reblogged a couple of times #but might keep track of them in the tags or add more in a reblog #because. i can keep going.

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leclercloml · 8 months

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Enchanted to meet you | CL16

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x singer!reader

Summary: everyone's favourite swiftie is finally off the market, but who's that lucky guy?

Genre: SMAU

warnings: google translated french, grammar mistakes, incorrect time line to match the story line

Author's note: i reached the picture limitation so I'll do a part 2 of this as soon as I can and I'm still not very good at this, and I'm completely out of ideas, so please bare it 🫶🏻

fc: Gracie Abrams

yourinstagram

liked by oliviarodrigo, taylorswift and 23,45,873 others

yourinstagram uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love.

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sabrinacarpenter oh no, I'm falling in love again

⤷username hahahahaha it's just a taylor swift reference guysss hahahahaha nothing too serious

⤷username Sabrina what do you know, please tell your kids too babe.

username mother mother mother

oliviarodrigo i think I know who it is

⤷conangray SHE TOLD YOU??!!

⤷oliviarodrigo she tells me everything

⤷username lmaaaoo Olivia knowing who's y/n love intrest is and conan going crazy over it is my new favourite thing

username whoever is her new boyfriend and if he's reading this, sweetheart sleep with one eye open

Twitter

Instagram

charles_leclerc

milan, italy

liked by yourinstagram, joris_trouche and 67,45,745 others

charles_leclerc what a beautiful show, love the songs, love the performance, thank you so much for inviting me to this beautiful event.

tagged: yourinstagram

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yourinstagram I'm glad you had fun

⤷carlossainz55 he really did he won't stop humming "where do we go now"

⤷charles_leclerc hey! it's a good song

⤷username helloo?? What is happening??!!

username I still can't believe it's real, it feels like a weird fever dream 😭

username okay but are we not gonna talk about that caption and how girlfriend she looks in the 2nd slide??

⤷username finally! I was waiting for someone to say this!

username okay guys here me out, first y/n posting her pictures with caption "uh-oh I'm falling in love" which is a lyrics from Taylor Swift song called labyrinth and basically confirming she's in love and probably dating someone and then Olivia officially confirming it by commenting "I think I know who it is" and then Charles out of blue arriving at y/n concert which by looking at caption it seems like he was invited and the 2nd slide, he was in front row and the picture look way too "girlfriend" and charles is also single and so is y/n, so maybe...MAYBE Charles might be y/n new boyfriend?

⤷username ma'am the delusion is crazy

⤷username I've connected the two dots.

⤷username you didn't connect shit.

⤷username I've connected them.

yourinstagram added to story

comment disabled

Twitter

Instagram

liked by scuderiaferrari , yourinstagram and 45,673,459 others

f1 CHARLES LECLERC IS THE WINNER OF 2023 ITALIAN GRAND PRIX! 🏆❤️

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scuderiaferrari that's how we win a home race 💚🤍❤️

⤷username can't believe you guys didn't fucked up his race

username call me delusional but y/n is his lucky charm

⤷username no but fr

⤷username listen @/scuderiaferrari you guys need to invite her to all of the races now.

⤷scuderiaferrari on it 🫡

charles_leclerc

liked by yourinstagram, carlossainz55 and 45,274,523 others

charles_leclerc what a win! 1-2 brought it home for all of the tifosi's out there! And also congratulations to Carlos on P2! That's how we win it and also thanks to all of the fans, team and my lucky charm! Forza Ferrari Sempre 💚🤍❤️

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carlossainz55 congratulations on the win mate ❤️!

⤷charles_leclerc thanks mate! congratulations on the podium!

yourinstagram SO SO SO PROUD OF YOU AND CARLOS!

⤷charles_leclerc couldn't have done I without you my lucky charm 🍀

⤷username AHHHHHH SHE IS HIS LUCKY CHARM SCREAMING CRYING BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL!

⤷username just confirm your relationship already 😭😭

⤷username i don't think we need a confirmation this is already so obvious

landonorris congratulations mate!

liked by charles_leclerc and yourinstagram

username the ONLY driver to beat RedBull this year! @/yourinstagram please come to all of the races from now on 🙏

⤷yourinstagram I'll try my best 🤍

⤷username AHHHHHH!!!

PS: this is sooooo rushed I'm so sorry, I'll do a part 2 as soon as I can! Please give feedbacks 🫶🏻

Part 2!!

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc smau #charles leclerc social media au #f1 driver x reader #charles leclerc x you #leclercloml

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liknws · 9 months

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skz & introducing you to the others

⎯⎯ PAIRING: stray kids x reader ⎯⎯ TAGS: fluff, tiny bit of angst, just cute shit ⎯⎯ WARNINGS: mentions of anxiety, lmk if i missed any

CHAN

absolutely the least subtle of the group

sure the rest of skz knows that he's seeing someone but they respect that he hasn't brought you around the chaos yet

it's not until he name drops you when half asleep do the rest of the boys start teasing him

instantly regrets speaking and tries to bury himself in the couch to hide from the jokes

he'll bring it up to you eventually, almost nervously

"so i was thinking, it's time you met the other's" and you're supportive of the idea. only ever wanted to do things at his pace

you can't hide that you're just as nervous to meet them because if they don't like you what's to say that won't stop the relationship?

thankfully they like you and are welcoming to you when you come by for dinner

seungmin jokingly calls you "mom" one day and now they won't stop with the parent jokes

next step is introducing you to the world but the boys are protective and help keep your relationship private

(they go to ridiculous lengths to make this happen and at one point you have to convince them that JYP knows about you and no one is breaking rules, just that you want to stay out of the public eye for now while you can)

MINHO

you were more nervous meeting his cats (who love you by the way and you get daily pictures of the three from his parents)

oh yeah, you met his parents too and they loved you

he wasn't reluctant to introduce you to skz but he wasn't making it happen fast either. "the longer i can keep you to myself, the better" was always his excuse and you don't argue because it's true

stay ends up learning about you first (by accident) when you're visiting his parents and he posts a photo of you cuddled asleep with the cats

he did it without thinking, just captioning it something vague and cute on the official instagram

chan takes it down quickly but not fast enough and there are already screenshots

you end up meeting the rest of them through video call when chan calls minho to tell him what happened

once it's clear you're not upset at all, you're invited (read: demanded) to the dorms to meet the rest of them when the break is over

minho pretends to grumble that his perfect secret is blown and that he's going to have to share you now because they'll all love you

spoiler alert: he was right

CHANGBIN

i don't think this man knows the meaning of subtle or private if a dictionary was thrown at him

the second you two make anything official he's asking you to come by the dorms and hang out, to come with him to the gym when he's home to spend more time with him

he can't get enough of being around you and that translates to the rest of skz knowing about you pretty early on

the hard part is keeping your relationship private from people outside of the group

he has almost name dropped you so many times during interviews or tours that it's becoming a running joke among the boys who is on "binnie's big mouth duty" that night

it takes the whole group to keep him from saying something that would give you two away

HYUNJIN

while chan and changbin might be the least subtle, hyunjin is easy to tell something has changed

he's singing certain songs with more energy

his personal instagram posts are very boyfriend coded but he doesn't really say or do anything specific

there's a lot of speculation that he might be seeing someone

you're actually the one to blow it

you were just going to drop something off in the dorm while everyone was at practice (he'd cleared it with security and you had your own code specifically for visits without him)

what you didn't expect was han standing in the kitchen half dressed and a tooth brush in his mouth

he screamed, you screamed, he screamed again, security came to the rescue

you're trying to explain who you are until you pull out your phone and call your boyfriend

"han is here and i scared him and now security is kicking me out i just wanted to leave you a present on your bed im so sorry"

you have to switch to video call to prove that you're talking to hyunjin and that yes, you're his s/o and allowed to be there so security lets you back in with apologies

safe to say you don't do the surprise visits in case you give jisung another heart attack

JISUNG

when i say this boy was stressed about it, he was stressed out by you meeting his friends

you had teased him endlessly about how his true soulmate is minho and he's kind of scared that once you meet them you'll think you're not good enough and leave him

so it takes a lot of talks to get him okay with introducing his favorite person in the world to them

you suggest that instead of meeting them all at once to do it one-by-one in whatever order is the most comfortable with him

which makes you wonder if you're going to meet minho first or last

you're surprised however when you meet him first and ji is anxious the whole time

until both you and minho reassure him that it's okay and that because you and him love jisung that why wouldn't they get along

and you do (so much that minho is almost your bff) which is a relief to him

you end up meeting chan and changbin last which you realize is because of how much he really respects their opinions

he's still a little anxious sometimes when you hang out with the whole of skz at once, fearing that the chaos will chase you off but he realizes he has nothing to worry about when you feed that chaos

FELIX

you two made a whole plan of how to introduce you to the rest of the guys

mostly because you wanted it to go perfectly even if he assured you it would no matter what

he helps you get into the dorms right after everyone has left so you can set up snacks and games to have a game night and get to know everyone

he was supposed to be the first one through the door so when you almost throw yourself at changbin instead of your boyfriend you're mortified

they don't let you live that down but it was an effective way to break the ice and it gets everyone laughing right away

the small hiccup passed, you're trying to impress the others as much as you can because you know they mean so much to felix

chan eventually gets you alone in the kitchen to ask if you're okay and you confess in one breath how anxious you are for them to like you

chan assures you that no one could hate you, you're basically felix in another person and they can all see how he looks at you

another situation where the boys are super protective of you two and your privacy, helping to keep you out of public eye as much as possible

SEUNGMIN

literally no one knew this man was seeing anyone until you just showed up to the dorm one day?

truly one of those types who has the private life thing down and while he shares most of his life with skz, he hasn't ever shared your existence with them

that was an agreement you both came to when things were getting serious and you two like having this whole separate life with each other away from everyone else

they're all confused who he's invited to dinner (he's been so picky about the foods and made sure that only your favorites are made)

truly no one knew about you at all, he wasn't any different but when you're around there is a whole other side of seungmin that the boys are shocked by

until you roast him just as hard as he does the others and oh now they see why you two are perfect for each other

they're not really convinced you two are together until you kiss him goodnight at the door and when he turns around he's so pink in the face and biting his lips to keep from smiling

you two are probably the only ones that are able to keep your relationship out of the public eye for so long until seungmin drops one day that he's a dad?????

JEONGIN

he loves teasing about your existence to the others

like you're aware of what he's doing and you think it's funny

"oh just texting my s/o" like the most casual sentence ever that leaves everyone just looking around confused

never once says your name but will bring you up anytime it's natural

he does this so much and it's so normal that he does it on stage during their unscripted part and it takes too long to realize what happened

seungmin realizes first and starts laughing, telling the others while jeongin realizes what he did

you two have talked about revealing your relationship for a long time but the teasing of it was too much fun

so you end up being introduced to skz at the same time that stay learns about you

(you were backstage at the show with the staff. after clearing the idea with staff, you're dragged out on stage hand-in-hand with jeongin)

to say the boys flip when they realize it's you is ridiculous because you've been on so many schedules and shows that they never realized you were right under their nose

that was part of the fun of it to you two but even with that part over you two will still find ways to tease the members together

#skz x you #skz reactions #skz x reader #skz imagines #stray kids reactions #what even are these idk man

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hunn1e-bunn1e · 6 months

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Demon Brothers - Flirty (Male) Reader

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

So! While writing this ask I've very quickly figured out that I can't flirt for my life. Thus; this ask was translated into Headcannons instead of my original plan of a split between Headcannons and a Oneshot. I hope you enjoy this because that was a half hour of embarrassment that I can't get back. — Benny🐰

🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚

☕ You're either very brave or very very stupid; there is no in between. The audacity that you have to flirt with the avatar of pride: Lucifer himself is absolutely appalling. This poor overworked demon goes through full 5 minute factory reset just to understand what the fuck you just said to him.

☕ Stop. Please, just have a normal conversation with him. It can be about literally anything— A dream you had last night, the breakfast this morning, Beel's Fangol practice, your homework, how you think he should send Mammon to rehab for his obvious Kleptomaniac tendencies... Lucifer will even indulge in speaking about those weird captioned images and short videos that you call memes; just, please... he understands that he's handsome, but make it quick; he has paperwork to do.

☕ Do you really think that you can flirt your way out of a punishment? First Asmodeus and Diavolo (after Asmodeus spent some time with him, Diavolo attempted to flirt his way out of his Princely duties to take a few hour break) and now you? Goodness, he's surrounded by idiots. You're going to give poor Lucifer gray hairs, you know.

☕ Lucifer may let you bargain your way out of facing his wrath, though. He finds the image of you being ripped from your flirtatious facade and forced to think about things that you could offer him as collateral as he patiently taps his fingers on his desk to be on of the most amusing thing he's seen in almost 200 years. He won't lie; your nervous figiting is pretty entertaining too.

☕ Though... you might want to be a little more careful going forward, lest you catch the avatar of pride on a day that he's particularly stressed; he might just take you up on one of your occasionally more... lewd flirtatious remarks. Perhaps he'll put an end to your flirtatious ways with a well deserved spanking? Lucifer is sure you wouldn't complain, given your very clear attraction to him.

🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚

🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇

💰 You broke him; the minute those words left your lips he went completely offline. Of course; Mammon thought that you were just making fun of him at first and tried to see of you'd slip up and insult him like so many others have. However, you only doubled down and now, the poor, flustered avatar of greed can barely look you in the eyes anymore.

💰 Truthfully, Mammon can't help but compare you to Asmodeus with how seem to need to add some sort of flirtatious comment into every sentence. Though you're not as dramatic and not at all cruel like his younger brother. He doesn't see your flirting as a bad thing but he can't help but get jealous when you start flirting with his brothers, Barbatos, Lord Diavolo and that angel. You're only supposed to do that sort of thing with him! He's your first man, dammit!

💰 Flirting your way out of being roped into a money making scheme? Pretty unlikely, believe it or not. When Mammon gets a hint of money he's chasing it and no amout of compliments will get you out of being dragged along for the ride. However, you might be able to flirt your way into getting him to take all the blame when the plan inevitably fails. All you need to do is lay it on thick and he's sold. This demon is madly in love with you, he will do anything you ask and more.

💰 While your first man is okay with taking the fall for you in any situation; he expects you to nurse his sore body back to health after hanging from the rafters for 6 hours again. You'll convince Lucifer to give him back Goldie too, won't you? Of course you would, Mammon doesn't work for free, after all.

💰 Mammon may or may not practice pick-up lines in his bathroom mirror. While he's confident in the solitude of his bathroom; once he's face to face with you his anxiety skyrockets and he stumbles over his words like a drunk man trying to navigate a dark room. You have no idea what you do to him, do you?

🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇•♡•🦇

🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍

🎮 Sorry, he's dead. Unfortunately, you had to go and flirt with this yucky otaku demon and he keeled over and died from overheating. Leviathan blushed so violently that he liquefied his brain and he fainted right then and there, bonking his head on various objects on his way down. Ah... poor guy...

🎮 Please, please, spare this poor man, he cannot handle it. Leviathan is too precious so go easy on him or he may just never leave that little hidey hole he calls a bedroom ever again. He's not brave enough to face you when you're like that! You may be his Henry but it feels like he's gone in too deep now, he can't even look at his beloved Ruri-Chan like he used to because you wrestled your way into her place! Just what the hell are you doing to him!?

🎮 You want to escape one of his long winded rants on TSL? All you need to do is give Leviathan a lovestruck gaze and his brain is fried; then you can make your escape. Fat Chance! As if he'd ever willing let you opt out of letting him share his one of his passions with you! Malfunctioning or not; he'll keep on talking; whether it's just to continue the conversation or to distract himself from you, we still don't know. You'll let him right? Or... do you think he's just a gross otaku afterall...?

🎮 If you do ever get into trouble with Lucifer for whatever reason; just pop into Levi's room and hide under the blankets in his bathtub while he's distracted by whatever game he's playing at the time. His older brother will never find out and neither will he until he stumbles upon you when he's feeling tired after an excruciatingly long raid. Of course, even after he finds you, he won't tell a soul.

🎮 Leviathan may or may not be hoarding various cosplays of characters with flirtatious personalities that just so happen to be in your size. How he got your measurements for the alleged cosplays is information that he will take to the grave. (He actually just asked Asmodeus but he prefers to seem mysterious about for some reason...)

🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍•♡•🐍

🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄

📚 Are you sure you wanna do that? Do you really want to take that risk? Truthfully, Satan knows all he has to do is amusedly raise a brow and you'll be quite as a mouse. But he finds it funny that you try to hide your fear of him behind that meaningless banter that you keep spewing. He's almost immune to your antics due to his abundant knowledge of human psychology and the time that he's spent observing you... almost.

📚 You'll have to either say something very shocking or tie it in with cats somehow in order to have an effect on Satan. He hangs around Asmodeus far too often (a personal headcannon of mine is that the two are actually very close) to be very influenced by flirtatious or suggestive remarks too much anymore. Usually he'll either raise a brow at you or just send you a teasing smirk. Though if you play into his vast knowledge and offer him a risqué fact he doesn't know, he'll be very interested.

📚 Wanna try your hand at flirting your way out of being on the receiving end of one if his wrathful outbursts? Are you a fucking idiot? Do you have no self preservation instincts at all?? You best get to steppin'; or else Satan will rip your face right off in his blind rage. To be honest, if you do go and try that, you deserve what you get in return for your stupidity.

📚 If you ever get into trouble with Lucifer, all you need to do is go to Satan and he'll harbor you in his room so long as you keep your hands to yourself. Make sure to let him know whenever you plan on flirting your way out of one of his oldest brother's punishments; he'll bring himself some popcorn. Not only will he get to see you embarrass yourself, he'll also get to see you annoy Lucifer; it's a 2 for 1 deal!

📚 If you catch him in a really good mood, Satan might just flirt back at you. Resting his chin on his palm and looking at you with the softest eyes as he lets loose words so sweet you'd think he was made of sugar. He can be really suave when he wants to, he just has to be in the right mood, ya'know.

🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄•♡•🦄

🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂

🛍 Look, I'll be blunt; Asmodeus hangs out with literal sex demons on the daily, he's heard everything. He's the avatar of lust; he is unfazed. So when I tell you that this man immediately thinks your just wanting to either have sex or something close to it, I'm serious. There is no if, and, but or in between; you guys are either doing the sideways tango or making out. If you don't want that, don't bother flirting with him.

🛍 Asmodeus is 100% unfazed by your flirting. No matter how sweet or raunchy you get, you'll never pull a big reaction from him. It'll mostly just be little hums of acknowledgement, his well rehearsed smile or bedroom eyes. I don't know what you were expecting, to be honest.

🛍 You think you can flirt your way out of doing anything with Asmo? Haha, no, you silly little human, you.~ He'll give you an airy little giggle and then drag you along to either his bedroom or whatever place that he needed to take you originally. Sometimes he'll strait up ignore you and act like you hadn't even said anything at all. Other times he'll use his charms and make you feel guilty for even thinking about opting out of spending time with him. It's a lose, lose situation; or a win, win depending on how much you like the guy.

🛍 You think he'll let you flirt your way out of one of Lucifer's punishments? Absolutely not! Or, at least, not without him giving you a few pointers first. Truth be told, Asmodeus thinks you have almost no rizz (he still loves you regardless~♡) and as the avatar of lust, he feels like it's his job to fix that! Or... at least try.

🛍 Truthfully, Asmodeus will keep you at an arm's length (for a while until he figures out your true intentions) like he does all of his sex demon friends. He believes you only want him for what they want him for; his body and looks. He won't ever show it but it does take a toll on him. He can breath a sigh of relief when he figures out what you really want from him.

🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂•♡•🦂

🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰

🍔 It's like talking to a brick wall; Beelzebub doesn't get the implications of your words. And why would he? He's far too innocent and thick headed (in the sweetest way possible) to understand something like that. Why do you even want to flirt with this precious man? Are you trying to corrupt him, you heathen!?

🍔 If you want a flustered Beel, you'll have to drop the flirting all together. Say what you need to say in clear message so he can't confuse any meanings or insinuations even if he tried to. And boom. You'll get a cute, flustered giant with flushed cheeks and an angelic smile. He'll be like a school girl with a crush; shyly fiddling with his fingers and giddily shuffling in place.

🍔 Trying to flirt your way out of sharing your food with Beelzebub? Don't. Give him a portion, you stingy bitch. Flirting aside— how could have the heart to say no to this man, you monster!? Back on topic; flirting will just fly right over his head, so I wouldn't even bother. Just give him some of your food, it's not that hard. You'll get a cute, grinning avatar of gluttony out of it, so what's that harm?

🍔 You're trying to flirt your way out of a punishment from Lucifer? Well... Beel doesn't wanna make his eldest brother mad... but he also doesn't like the idea of not helping you when you need it. He's so torn! What should he do! Unfortunately for you, the poor man will be so caught up in whether he should help you or not, that Lucifer has already found you and now you're hanging from the rafters. Please don't be mad at him, he didn't mean to ignore you, it was just a really hard decision for him!

🍔 When Beelzebub "flirts", he usually offers you some sort of food item that he really wanted to eat. He'll take occasional glances to see if you've eaten it or not and to see your reaction to it so he knows what you like in the future. Accept it! Don't you dare turn down a gift from this sunshine, you'll make him sad!

🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰•♡•🪰

🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄

🌌 Hey, so... you remember how he killed you via snapping your spine like a toothpick. I really wouldn't recommend flirting with him in any capacity. I don't think Belphegor would appreciate you waking him up to flirt or if he's already awake, which is a rarity in it's self, he'd rather you be quite so he can nap. He's just here to use you as a pillow, not to hear you run your mouth.

🌌 The best time to "flirt" with this slightly homicidal demon is when he decides that you deserve to take a nap with him. (Read as; when he decides to sleep on your bed and use you as a pillow.) However; said flirting must be soft and sweet. Gentle praises in a soft voice. Comb your fingers through his hair. Belphie will drift off to sleep with small smile on his face. Expect him to be in a very flowery mood when he wakes up again.

🌌 You want to attempt to flirt your way out of stargazing in the attic for the nth time in a row? Sure! You do that! In fact, Belphegor thinks that your bones are looking mighty crushable right now. Don't get too ahead of yourself, he's not above physically holding onto you and keeping you in the attic until he's satisfied. You're not getting out of this one, hun.

🌌 On the run from Lucifer? Belphegor's got you covered! Just head on up to the attic while he goes to Satan for a hex he can place on the door to keep the prideful demon away. Anything to fuck with Lucifer will have him come running, so keep him informed, okay?

🌌 On some rare occasions, when you and Belphie are alone together, he can be real sweet to you. Calling you something romantic like his north star or something of the like. However, he quickly ruins the mood with an obnoxious yawn. Whether he does that on purpose or not is up to you.

🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄•♡•🐄

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

1K notes · View notes

httpsuniverse · 9 months

Text

mr lover [ ben chilwell ]

— right where you left lover girl sequel, this takes place two years later!

[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — ben chilwell x singer!reader . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °. *

[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — romance, mentions pregnancy, google translated french . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °. *

࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ clearing my drafts again 😵‍💫 if you ask me, i’m obsessed with singer!reader fics lol

this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.

benchilwell

liked by masonmount, yourusername, reecejames and others

benchilwell family time

view all 592 comments

user am i reading this right ?? ‘family’ time ??

user his dog clinging to y/n is the cutest thing ever

user they’re such dog parents 😭

yourusername my babyyy my babyyy

benchilwell which one?

yourusername one of you will be in a lot of pain if i say who

benchilwell 🙄

yourusername

liked by benchilwell, masonmount, cmpulisic and others

yourusername look at me, i am the favourite hooman now.

view all 826 comments

user not y/n quoting from captain phillips 😭

benchilwell once i get back home, i will take my title back

yourusername NONSENSE! you cannot dethrone the current favourite hooman

user y/n saying hooman instead of human 😭 that’s so dog momma of her

yourusername i birthed this child

benchilwell huh

yourusername huh

user pls he looks so comfy on y/n’s lap, he’s obviously not a lap dog

yourusername if he fits, he sits

user agreed 🤝

user why did all this time i thought y/n was a cat person

user she literally loves any kind of animal 😭 she adopted a ferret when she was a kid

yourusername omg !! mr fuzzy wuzzy was my childhood pet 🥹 maybe i should adopt another ferret

benchilwell what? no way

yourusername heheheheheheheeh

benchilwell

liked by masonmount, yourusername, judebellingham and others

benchilwell home is where the heart is.

view all 289 comments

yourusername but god i love the english

benchilwell you know i love a london boy

yourusername 🫣🫣

user ben at this point, you really are the extra hooman

benchilwell i cant blame him

yourusername i told you i birthed this dog

benchilwell 😂

yourprivate

liked by masonspriv, reecespriv, mikaspriv and 23 others

yourprivate hehe oops

view all comments

mikaspriv what the fuck is this how i find out ?!?!?!!

yourprivate heheheheheheheeheh

mikaspriv IM PACKING MY BAGS AND HOPPING ON THE NEXT PLANE

benspriv little chilly 🔜

masonspriv i never wouldve known if i hadnt opened this account

reecespriv me too mate

christiansprivme three

jackspriv me four

benspriv me five

yourpriv what

benspriv what

yourusername and benchilwell

liked by masonmount, chelseafc, england, madders and 8,826,937 others

yourusername we’re getting him a human in a few months 🙈

view all 399,826 comments

benchilwell babe i thought we already agreed what the caption will be

yourusername mines funnier

benchilwell 🙄

masonmount who thought that covering his eyes would be cute

yourusername mine. do you have any problem with that? 😀

masonmount i don’t maam, it’s a great idea, very very cute!

user this is the cutest announcement 😭

user as a fellow dog mummy, i approve of this post!

weratedogs 100/10 for being such a good boy and will be the goodest big brother!

user as a y/n fan since debut, i feel OLD (we’re the same age)

yourusername omg since debut album?!?!?! 😳 we have to meet like RIGHT NOW

user y/n went from writing how she’s stuck in the past, to loving herself and loving a new person 🥹 now she’s probably gonna write something about her baby ... just thinking about it rn makes me emotional

— ❤️ by yourusername

england congratulations benchilwell and yourusername! 🤍

chelseafc shall we make a onesie for baby chilwell?

yourusername omg YES PLEASE

benchilwell 🤦🏻‍♂️

yourusername JUST IMAGINE HOW CUTE OUR BABY WILL BE ON THAT ONESIE

benchilwell

liked by prodbymika, masonmount, madders, england and others

benchilwell eleanor chilwell is here 🩷👨🏻‍🍼 you did good mama, i’m proud and grateful to you, yourusername. i love you both

comments on this post have been limited.

yourusername thank you dada, we love you too 🩷

yourusername

liked by benchilwell, charles_leclerc and 3,826,929 others

yourusername the happiest i’ve ever been 🩷 merci pour tout mon benji. je t'aime toi et eleanor de tout mon coeur. (thank you for everything, my benji. i love you and eleanor with all my heart)

view all 150,729 comments

benchilwell 🩷🩷

user several chapters missed but i’m glad to see you so happy y/n 🥹

user i was surprised when they announced she was pregnant, bit i was more surprised to know that they’re married now 😭

user the hand placements of ben 😭

user i’m so alone yall

user AAA y/n 🥺

user literally went from being dog parents to real parents 🥺🩷

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─────────────────

yourusername and benchilwell

2,836,729 likes

yourusername darling, don’t you ever grow up... just stay this little. happy birthday my sweet eleanor🩷 mama (with the help of dada) wrote a song for you baby, me and dada loves you sooo much. never grow up out now ✨

view all 238,861 comments

benchilwell growing up too fast, my ellie bear 🥲

user ellie bear... 😭 bens such a girl dad

user stopp im emo im not even a parent

user omg eleanor looks so cute!!

user milks expensive, im too young to be a mum

user my daily mantra every time i see ben or y/n post eleanor

user they have a little ballerina 🥺

user 4 years old already? 😭 time really flew by omg

yourusername i know right 🥺

user y/n and her happy ending 🥺 CURRENTLY TAKING A BATH WITH MY TOASTER RN

#ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell #ben chilwell scenario #ben chilwell x you #ben chilwell x y/n #football imagine #football x y/n #football x you #football x reader #ben chilwell instagram au #football instagram au

820 notes · View notes

leclercsainzz · 9 months

Note

hello darling,

idk if i asked already but i was listening to “moth to a flame” and i was wondering if you could do a smau with the ferrari boys to this song, please:) maybe she’s dating one of them but sneaking behind his back with the other (i swear i’m not into cheating i just wanted to request something with drama lol)

MOTH TO A FLAME

PAIRINGS: charles leclerc x girlfriend!reader / carlos sainz x fem!reader

TYPE: social media au

WARNING: || cheating

part 1 - part 2

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, carlossainz55 and 581,729 others

yourusername: my heart <33 (no, charles didn’t cook)

tagged: @charles_leclerc

view 6,820 comments

charles_leclerc: you underestimate me, mon amour:( i’ll cook you something that’ll have you asking for more

charles_leclerc: i still love you though 😘

user: thanks for the clarification, babe!

↳ user: wait what happened?

↳ user: he uploaded a pic of yn holding the bowl captioning it, “cooked dinner for my love” on his story lmaoo 😂

user: “no, charles didn’t cook” not her exposing his ass

pierregasly: his story scared me a bit, ngl 🤣 i thought the food was gonna go to waste

↳ user: PIERRE 😭😭

user: they’re literally the cutest, i swear

user: my yncharles heart 😩

user: the way he’s looking at her in the last pic

↳ user: he’s soo in love with her, it’s too cute 😩

user: i just know carlos was laughing thinking charles actually attempted to “cook” after seeing his story

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 602,739 others

yourusername: small vacay dump(:

view 7,936 comments

user: my favorites!!!

user: parents frr

user: i love the fact that he’s always smiling whenever he’s around yn 😭 they’re meant to be

charles_leclerc: you take my breath away ❤️ i love you

↳ yourusername: ❤️

↳ user: they are the reason i believe in love

danielricciardo: where was my invite?

user: my parents, eveyone!!! 😩

user: obsessed with you both

pierregasly: cute! (the last slide , that is) 🤪

↳ yourusername: hating ass

user: the cutest 🥺

user: charles, can i please have yn 🙏🏼 @charles_leclerc

user: yn, babe, come home the kids miss you

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 704,728 others

carlossainz55: él sabe donde está realmente tu corazón?

see translation: does he know where your heart truly lies?

view 8,947 comments

user: sir, was the first pic necessary? 😩

user: weird way to propose but YES

user: oou what’s up with the caption? 👀

user: don’t let the thirst trap distract you from the caption

↳ user: I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO HE’S TALKING ABOUT

charles_leclerc: oh wow 😍

maxverstappen1: george russell who?

↳ georgerussell63: he learned from the best (me, obviously)

↳ carlossainz55: nO

user: the caption might not even mean anything but like?? 👀 who could he be referring to??!???

user: ima choose to ignore the caption and focus on YOU because my oh myyy 😮‍💨

user: was he seeing anyone that i didn’t know about??!?

yourusername

liked by kendalljenner, landonorris and 604,017 others

yourusername: race week with MY fav driver AND lover 😌

view 5,957 comments

user: MY FAV WAG!!!

user: mother asf 😍

charles_leclerc: you’re too beautiful, stop distracting me 😩

carlossainz55: of course

↳ user: it’s okay carlos, you’re my favorite driver 😌

user: mother and father looking good as always!!

user: yn, babe, we get it he’s yours 😭 no need to emphasize on the “my” or “and”

↳ user: not me being jealous of him

danielricciardo: i thought i was your favorite driver?

↳ yourusername: 😲

user: yn really knows how to make him smile huh 😒

↳ user: wishing i was her rn

↳ user: nah, i’m wishing i was him

charles_leclerc

like by alex_albon, pierregasly and 705,938 others

charles_leclerc: not the results we wanted today, but hopefully tomorrow will be a better day with no distractions!

view 6,838 comments

user: you got this!!

user: head up, charles! ❤️

user: it’s soo hard being a ferrari fan, i can’t 😭

user: what happened today?!???!? that turned looked like it was done intentional

↳ user: i don’t think charles would do that to carlos or himself

user: nah cause there was a lot of tension between carlos and charles … something happened between the two

↳ user: we need our girl yn to spill the tea cause 👀

user: i’m disappointed 😩 we could’ve had a great quali

user: i’m choosing to blame the cars

user: does anybody know where yn was? i missed seeing my girl on screen even if it’s like a second

↳ user: pretty sure she didn’t go today

898 notes · View notes

spideysbruh · 3 months

Text

be with me

liked by tchalamet, sarahhyland, ayoedebiri and 1,817,778 others

y/n it ain't a fun day at work if im not covered in blood !!!!

view all 97,766 comments

screamyn so excited that she's gonna be in another movie with timothee !! we were all begging for itttt

tchalamet how do you still look so beautiful 😍

liked by y/n

laurieslaurence HIS COMMENTTTT 🥺🥺

liked by y/n, tomholland2013 and 3,276,626 others

tchalamet Je suis amoureux

view all 123,717 comments

lauriexamy PARENTSSSS

y/n 🥺🥺🥺 I love you

tchalamet liked

paulsarrakis I'll translate- 'I am in love'

scrubscrubtimmy CRYINGGG AWWWW

illiteratewonka I need a girlfriend before I kms

@yn tweeted- HAVE YOU GOT A SWEET TOOTH ?!!!??? 🗣🗣🗣

@ynsgirlfriend replied- LMAOOO is that your fave wonka song 🤔

@yn replied to @ynsgirlfriend- it is soo good and catchy but I think i would be deemed a bad girlfriend if i said one without timmy... so no! 'for a moment' is my fave!!!!

@realchalamet liked

@realchalamet replied- good choice, baby 😊😊🩷🩷🫶🫶🫶

@wonkastim replied to @realchalamet- HELPPP LMAOOO

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler and 2,627,727 others

y/n handsy man !!!

view all 121,817 comments

tchalamet can you blame me 🙄

y/n liked

wonkaswhore BROOOOOOO I GASPED OMG

ynsflorals im loving her happy and in love era

addisonraee y/nnnn I love you

y/n liked

y/n I played your ep for timmy, he's been singing IVE GOT NOTHING ON BUT THE RADIO for days help

tchalamet okay let's not stretch the truth here ... it's been one and a half days

liked by y/n, zendaya, francesa.scorsese and 4,186,266 others

tchalamet be with me. out june 7th!!!!!!! made another movie with the love of my life. im really proud of this one.

view all 121,187 comments

y/n and I'll watch.

liked by tchalamet

saysoyn girl you're literally in it too !!

littletimmy the laurie reference 😭😭 I bet she says it all the time to him.

floralyn IT LOOKS SO FUCKING GOODDDD

timmylaurie I CANT WAITTTT

timotheepaul it seems so romantic omg

rachelzegler ILL BE SEATED DAY ONEEE AHHH

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler and 1,976,817 others

y/n June 7th!!! our second film together, we fell in love during the first one, what will this one bring?

view all 99,817 comments

giddyyn can't wait for the press tour omg

motivatedyn YESSS IVE BEEN WAITING SINCE YALL WERE ANNOUNCED AS THE LEADS

fluorescentyns I wonder if they got cast BECAUSE they're together 🤔🤔

tchalamet why did you get better pics to post than I did 😔

y/n liked

y/n I like your pics 🫶

blankspaceyn marriage ???🤔🤔🤔

tsgf or a breakup 😁

ynslipgloss okay you're weird.

y/n just posted a story!

caption- June 7th 🤭🤭

@popcrave just tweeted- some newly released behind the scenes photos of @y/n and @realchalamet on the set of their upcoming film 'Be With Me'

@hometoyn replied- in the video it seems like they rly had a lot of fun together 😭🫶🫶🫶🫶

@honeymoonyn replied- THEY ARE SO DAMN CUTE OH MY GODDDD

@ynxtimmy replied-

@y/n just tweeted- COUPLES QUIZ WITH GQ OUT NOWWWW 🫶🫶🫶

@ynscurtains replied- yall are so cute oh my worddd

@goldenyn replied- the way timothee looks at you 🥺🥺

@leextimothee replied- y/n is so goofy she's perfect for timmy fr

@modernyn replied- i love how both of their personalities rubbed off on each other 🫶

@popcrave just tweeted- Timothée Chalamet and Y/n L/n seen getting close while filling their car up with gas.

@ynsfluffysocks replied- they're so real. I would never stop kissing y/n either no matter what.

@medalliayn replied- "getting close" 💀💀😭😭

@fuxkyn replied- getting close or rounding third??

@celebgossi just tweeted- Y/n L/n and Timothee Chalamet at the 'Be With Me' premiere after party.

@sweettoothyn replied- im gonna just join someone else's relationship fr

@timmyxyn replied- ooo yk they're high asl 💀💀💀

@leemarenss replied- watching the movie tmrw I'm so excitedddd

@fuxkyn replied to @leemarenss- it's not that good tbh, timmy carries

@leemarenss replied to @fuxkyn- yeah... you have a weird one sided aggression towards y/n I ain't gonna trust your opinion 💀💀

@wonkastim replied to @fuxkyn- 100 percent on rotten tomatoes so far... letterboxd avg is so high, you're a hater fr !! he ain't gonna date you sweetie!!!

liked by y/n, florencepugh and 3,726,748 others

tchalamet making this movie with my favorite person ever was the best experience in the world. everybody worked incredibly hard on it and it's now out for you all to see. I hope you'll watch and enjoy.

view all 98,828 comments

y/n !!!!!!!

ynslipgloss IT WAS SO GOODDDDDD you guys are amazing

reguluschal yall are like a younger ryan gosling and eva mendes fr

florencepugh you guys absolutely smashed it!!! love you both🫶🫶🫶😍😍😍

tchalamet and y/n liked

y/n I LOVE YOU I MISS YOU FLO

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler, sabrinacarpenter and 2,166,727 others

y/n Be With Me out nowwww !!! I hope you enjoy it as much as we loved making it.

view all 95,254 comments

tchalamet my girl is a movie star 🥺🫶🫶🫶

y/n liked

rachelzegler you are literally amazing. chills, I love you

y/n liked

ynstan JUST GOT OUT OF THE THEATRE WHY DID YALL DEVOURRRRR

#timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet fanfiction #timothee chalamet imagine #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee imagine #timothee x reader #timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet au #timothee chalamet social media au #timothee chalamet x you #timothee fanfic #timmy chalamet #timothée imagine #timothée x reader #timothee

230 notes · View notes

cheesit-notes · 9 months

Note

After i read about mean caption prices ( abuse power) i just have an idea for Alejandro being mean too,

just want to request that

Love your work so much!

no title, just fucking alejandro

tags: drunk decisions, dub-con, possibly incorrect spanish, fem reader, oral (fem receiving), inappropriate touches from alejandro, kinda forcing himself on reader

a/n: asked a friend for the phrase at the end and idk if she really gave me an accurate translation l but um, i really wish i just googled it now. anywho enjoy! i tried my best to make alejandro be like his words are sweet but his actions are mean but i cant think of him as a power abuser TT im so sorry if I didn’t do what you wanted

alejandro doesn’t sound mean, no, his words are so, so sweet. in fact, every word has you hanging onto his next. god, and his praises are to live for. a successful mission and his hands gripping your shoulder while he exclaims how you did so well, making you feel oh so special.

so special, in fact, you excuse the little actions your colonel makes. the way he sneakily pinches your ass, and how his eyes are most definitely not on yours. his arm hung over your shoulder linger for far longer than appropriate, rubbing on your shoulder occasionally. how he asks you for little favors at the late hours of the night; to go to his office, and sit there silently while he looked at you. and 5 minutes later, you’re dismissed to go back to your barracks while he finished up some… unfinished business. what that is, you don’t ask; alejandro told you not to worry about it and you trust your colonel, don’t you?

there’s little things he does that you don’t know about. going through your records, checking your marital status, just the little details. on occasion, he’ll let it slip, but please, don’t mind him! he’s just checking for safety measures, or something like that.

one day, he’s a little too bothered with his unfinished business and he needs help, specifically your help! of course you feel honored, he’s your colonel, and he’s asking for your help, specifically. so you'll dismiss the fact he barged into your baracks, yeah?

leaning against the door with an arm over his head, hair disheveled, a thin layer of sweat like he just had a workout and hazy eyes like of someone drunk. and you're sitting in bed with nothing more than a thin layer of cloth covering you.

the next few seconds are a blur; he walks over and now you're trapped in between his arms as he's breathing into the crook of your neck. he smells faintly like alcohol and you can't stop squirming around, it just feels soo ticklish when his breath hits your skin. holding your hands down with his to keep you still, he whispers a quick, barely audible "por favor, let me do this..." before slamming your lips with his.

he's all over your lips, only really letting go for a bit to let you catch your breath. his body pressed against yours; you can feel his chest moving as he breathes, a few strands of hair fall on your face, and the growing bulge in his pants. he'll take a good look of you, soaking in every little detail of your pretty little face before going down on you. and he's so, so good with his tongue, you're practically seeing stars. when he's done with that, he'll shove two fingers and spread you open as wide as possible, to test you, prep you.

your clothes are ripped off you and he's fumbling trying to unzip his pants with one hand. the seconds it takes to free his cock feels like forever to him, so forgive your colonel if he's a little impatient, ok? oh he really should do more prep with you, i mean, just look at your tight little pussy. he really should, but god, he doesn' have the time; he might as well die if he doesn't shove his throbbing cock in you right now. and that's what he does.

rams his cock straight into your pretty plush cunt. and it's so thick. he might not have the longest cock, but god, he's a contender for one of the thickest. you're being stretched so wide, so far, no one has ever stretched you this far and it hurts. but it feels so good, and tears flow down your face, and you're too cockdrunk to form words. eye rolled back, you subconsciously grind on him, even after he's made you cum, even when the overtsimulation is getting painful. he's picking up the speed, chasing after his own pleasure, and you can feel his cock throbbing inside. and he's singing you honeyd praises between grunts. praises that keep you staying, keep you wanting more.

it takes him so, so much self control to pop him cock out and cum on your stomach. he's still riding his high, a little drunk when he collapses onto your chest.

"quiero follarte en la posición de perra nalgona.."

you look at him confused. god, you need some spanish lessons don't you? he chuckles.

"guess you need to improve your spanish. so i'll meet you here tomorrow night for some personal spanish lessons, aye?"

how can you decline your colonel?

#cod mw2 #cod mw2 x reader #alejandro cod #alejandro vargas #colonel alejandro vargas #alejandro x reader #dubcon #colonel alejandro #cod smut #alejandro smut #drunk #mdni #cheesy likes cod?!#cheesy requests

266 notes · View notes

clavissionary-position · 27 days

Text

Full Translation of Azel's LINE Chat

Ikepri's official LINE account here Kagari's chat ✦ Matias' chat Azel's keyword: ちゃりん (*clink of coins*)

*Accuracy is not guaranteed italics = Rude Azel

> *clink of coins*

Thank you for making an offering to God. How may I help you?

Choices 1) Would you like to go on a date together? 2) Would you like to tour Tanzanite's attractions together?

> Would you like to go on a date together?

I humbly refuse. I don't sell myself too readily as a matter of principle.

Oh, but there would be room for consideration if you were to sign a promissory note. It would be you selling your body to me, though. How about it?

Choices 1) I'll sign it 2) Please have mercy

> I'll sign it

Are you stupid?

My apologies, that text just now was sent by mistake. So a date, was it? I shall happily oblige. I'll draft up a promissory note to send over, so please wait without making any attempts to stiff me.

Oh, and don't worry; I already know your whereabouts even without you divulging it. I am God, after all. While we're at it, I'll go ahead and throw in a free oracle as a bonus.

[voiced clip] "Something good will happen if you stay with me all day today." On what basis...? There's no such thing. Take a guess.

> Please have mercy

It was a mercy that I didn't just ignore you.

Ah, what I mean is, you are a devout follower of mine… In which case, fine, very well; I don't mind going out with you just this once.

I don't know what it is you expect of me, and I don't wish to know, but I also hate the thought of being needlessly hounded any more than this.

[voiced clip] Of course I'm not planning anything. For I am a benevolent god. What are you saying—that I'm going to force a bill on you after? I would never!

> Would you like to tour Tanzanite's attractions together?

Why me?

Aren't you confusing me for some kind of handy local guide or something? There's no way I'd resort to doing menial work on my day off, no matter how greedy they say I am, but I'll at least humor you.

Choices 1) I want to go see your statue in the market 2) I want to go to your most-recommended spot

> I want to go see your statue in the market

...Not another word.

Can you even comprehend the abject horror that grips me whenever I walk through the market—you can't, can you?

Your payment just now was mere compensation money. Come to the temple right this instant and make an offering. Then we'll talk.

[voiced clip] Wait... I don't get myself. Why am I calling you over here for no reason?

> I want to go to your most-recommended spot

Do NOT come here. You're a pain.

My temple is my paradise. No prying eyes from the public, and I can spend my time in self-indulgence.

Then again, if you were to come by with worship money, I wouldn't exactly turn you away. But we'd pass the time as I see fit.

[voiced clip] I limit myself to doing nothing on my days off. I try not to think too much, and I don't meet with anyone either. You're just special.

-------- Notes

The Nice Azel chat segments end with him saying "If you have any further concerns, I'll gladly hear them out. For a fee." The Rude Azel segments end with "Is there anything else? You're such a tiresome follower."

This is the word he uses when he talks about selling himself, if you want some different interpretations:

(from Jisho.org)

I'm relieved he seems to be a tsundere. And I refuse to believe he doesn't walk around his temple completely naked when he's alone. It's his Mancave of Wonders 😭 He really feels like Silvio Part Deux (affectionate) but his theatricality seems very Clavis (affectionate).

Disclaimer + Sources

I'm not a translator. I just throw lines into various different translators and dictionaries and make a lot of guesses in-between. Take everything with a huge grain of salt.

I use Capcut's auto-caption feature to extract subs for the voice clips.

Sources for specific phrases: (if you care about that sort of thing)

#azel radwan #ikemen prince #ikepri azel #ikepri spoilers #ikepri jp spoilers #ikepri translation folder

55 notes · View notes

absolutebl · 7 months

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This Week in BL - New & Old Tropes Galore

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized sorta by favs in each category.

Sept 2023 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 7 of 12 - occasionally I forget that Yai is like 20 and this is his first love affaire. That poem bit gave me very Goethe vibes. Lots of doomed lesbians in this ep. Doomed love in general. Frankly? I was hoping for more oil less sad. Also, these two are making some v stupid mistakes. Also: MORE boys dancing.

Finally... who was it wanted a rain kiss? You got your rain kissing here, okay? No umbrellas to be had, apparently.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 7 of 12 - I love them so much. They are so darn adorable. I like how forthright Kang is. Boy has no game and is such a dork but at least he's enthusiastic. I love the “my boyfriend smells good” trope that BL is into these days. I’m into it, too. The bff enemies drunken bathroom shenanigans was v funny. Also @heretherebedork your boys are couple dancing all over the damn place this week.

I guess we get the boyfriends ep next week?

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 12fin - The conflict really kind of wasn’t in this last ep. But I guess it was a fine, if not a particularly strong, ending. I wish we’d had the family conflict threaded throughout the series. It would have felt like a deeper more honest drama and the actors could have handled it. They’re ready. How pretty were Joong’s single picturesque crystal tears? Honestly, it's been lovely, boys. Not at all memorable, but lovely.

Quick pitch Hidden Agenda:

A relatively simple and harmless old-fashioned style university Thai BL, that started out Cyrano de Bergerac style but then drifted away into forgetfulness. It felt like it could have fit into the En of Love universe, except that it was high quality GMMTV with very pretty makeup. I enjoyed it for what it was, it's just that wasn’t much. 8/10 RECOMMENDED

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 5 of 8 - Am I mostly watching this for Est and annoyed he doesn’t have a pair? Yes. (Am I writing a whole revenge plot in my head: "seduced to the good side by my enemy's hot bodyguard" with him and the Tem character? Yes. Yes I am. But that’s way too KinnPorsche for this show.) That said, MaxNat really are a great pair. Nice that Dio is figuring out how evil his own family is. Weirdly, I kind of like this speculation that if gay marriage were legal rich families would use it for arranged-marriage power plays. Can you imagine what China would do with this concept if they had access to it?

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - The morning after was sweet, I do like it when we get these scenes in BL. FYI no one misgendered Bojji except the caption writer. The screaming "discovery" scene was adorable. And I am very much falling in love with all of the side characters. I also love how aggressive Yang is, like he stepped out of a 2016 Chinese BL into Thailand. And I adore the main brother relationship.

I have to say, this is going to be a difficult BL for me to review. I didn’t like the first 4 episodes but it seems like I’m going to love the final 3. I’m actually really looking forward to the finale next week. Boy, do I feel strange about this. In other news, is it just me or is it weird to get a gay kiss from Ngern almost 10 years later? How late is too late for smooching a boy?

Never too late...

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally brings us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance based on the novel of the same name. I think we can expect this to be sad (so it will likely slide down my list as I become more confident about this). Mix is a great actor, so I’m not worried about that aspect, but I am warning you this won’t be your classic fluffy Thai BL. It’s a bit slow moving for me so far. Meanwhile, a revelation:

Thai high school BL is all about the hands. I blame Love Sick.

FYI the outdoor movie they watch is Love of Siam Thailand’s first real queer movie, also featured in My Only 12%.

I'm in trouble, Ongsa is such a sunshine cutie and Sansoon is so lost and sad. Pretty sure I won’t have the patience for 12 episodes of this, but I’ll stick with it for now because a pair like this is yaoi-induced catnip for me.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 8 of 10 - Ah, Ray, baby, you can’t get what you want if you want the wrong thing. Also, corruption charges much? Is Ray turning into Ton or is that just me? I still hold that Jenny’s is the only story I actually wanted. Although, I did enjoy the two bi boys bonding over Freddie. GMMTV sure is making good use of Title now that they got him away from Wabi Sabi and I’m NOT mad about it (4 shows & counting). Under ordinary circumstances, I probably would have dropped this show by now. But something keeps dragging me back.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Right Time Right You ep 6 - This couplet ended up feeling like an amateurish short. It was interesting in that way shorts can sometimes push into unusual territory, but very slow. My favorite so far, but that’s not saying much since we've only had 3. Kinda amorphous ending. 5/10 watch it if you have nothing better to do. Next week's looks pretty but silly: You Are My Soulmate.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 5 of 10 eps - I don’t understand the bit with the girl, car & eyebrows. Was that all just ad copy? This show is so bad I’m mostly fast forwarding now. I mean the leads are cute and earnest but that’s it. NO SINGING! And... nothing happened this ep.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 7-8 of 13(?) - Buckle up I got A LOT to say. Ep 7 was the boyfriends ep! Look there’s a a lot of problematic going on here by western standards: age gap (FYI age of consent in Taiwan is 16) + teacher+student, but if you’ve been reading this blog for a while you should know that Taiwan likes both high heat and taboo content (and so do I) plus (unlike Mame) they just lean lube into those kinks. And I, for one, am delighted. I talk about taboo in terms of age gap here and stepbrothers here. I’ve never done teacher/ student because we don’t get it often enough (insert sad face). These are not things that I’m going to complain about or rehash, so, moving on...

I found a lot to love about ep 7: tie grabs, smiley kisses, communication, being held down, younger aggressor, AND preliminary research= all good things. They even brought in morning aftercare, and shared trauma! I love a show that’s both unexpected yet entirely classic Taiwanese BL. I love that the family appeared as a plot device and then disappeared again. It’s all highly amusing.

Gaga dropped ep 8 a week early, I’m assuming this was a mistake since they skip next week. But hey!

Ep 8: def uhaul lesbians. Also cute queer fam moment. Ring finger biting = v hawt. Then of course it all goes south. Tres romantic means of taking the rap, gotta say. No one does gay sappy quite like Taiwan. Also, now we know why he loses his memory and Ai Di has to go in after him. Honestly, I’m not pleased to see yet another amnesia trope raise its ugly… head (why so many this year?). But it seems to be this year's trend.

And I know there is more trauma coming, but in classic Taiwan fashion it’s all gonna be fine in the end even if that HEA is chaotic and entirely unearned. Don't worry, all. We good.

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 4 of 10 - Oh noes, sunshine has a cold. And not from the rain... just, like, a normal cold. Amazing. But then when baby gets kidnapped, daddy gets v mad. Honestly, I am charmed by the show. It is very old-fashioned "domineering CEO puts little lady up against the wall" and it’s Taiwan, and thus I am not mad about it. This is what we would be getting from Mainland China if China we’re still making pulp BL. I am disposed to simply enjoy the utter "80s bodice ripper but gay"-ness of it all.

Bon Appetit (Korea Weds iQIYI) 1-2 of 8 - from 2022. If you have premium icky VIP you can binge it all now. I don’t, so instead I’m watching it 2 new episodes every Weds. Struggling heartbroken loser-ish office worker who lives off junk food + sunshine neighbor who loves to cook (from his past with a long-held crush). Also there is a "love class" element. Why does Korea like this conceit so much? Do their universities really engage in socialization training? Gotta say I’m getting whiffs of stalker... but only whiffs. Basically, this show is going poster child “way to a man’s heart is through his stomach“. Bit too much flashback, but I like that our chef is open about liking a boy, and I like that they remember things differently and in alignment with their own egos. And I like that we got a confession already. Ah KBL, it is nice to watch something that MUST move plot quickly.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - Jealous weatherman is ridiculous. Japan = queen of “why don’t you guys just talk?”

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 2 - Ba Vinh & Minh Thao reprising their roles as Dung & Khoa what do we think? 8 eps? 10? We got the stepbrothers (or whatever they are) backstory. Also My Prettiest Cat-boy does certifiable nutcake v well. Psychopath looks hot on him.

It's Airing But...

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - The sound. No. DNF

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be.

Unfortunately I Cannot Reach You, in classic JBL fashion, could not be reached.