#tolkien twenty questions

[greypetrel]

I see you've been asked several already, so for the Tolkein asks: whichever question you want to answer most, but haven't been asked c:

Hi Mo! :D

Thank you! The temptation to answer all the questions left was there... But I don't want to pester you with basically an essay, so I'll select a few x°D

Edit after writing it: *it's still an essay* Oops.

2. If you were the Middle Earth race that your personality most matches, which would it be?

I'm a Hobbit. Definitely a Hobbit. No love for being on centre stage, will eat six meals per day (listen, snacks are important ok), is very comfortable at home, but resourceful when needed. I miss the love for gardening, my thumb is very black and I have little interest for plants that I can't eat because what's the point. But Bilbo in the book dreaming while camping in the cold of a cozy afternoon spent reading with the kettle on the fire speaks to my soul.

10. Favorite performance by any actor in the Tolkien film projects? Bonus: What's your favorite scene with them?

Bernard Hill as Theoden always gets me. He's just the right level of intensity, melancholy and grieving because he's old and feels like he hasn't accomplished anything. The tenderness and the respect he has for Eowyn as his beloved niece AND a wise woman he can be happy leaving his kingdom to (Eomer goes with him to a potentially suicidal mission. He's saying, to me, that his heir is HER, not him). And his speeches are all-!!! The Pelennor Field's one always have me shivering. The words are nice, sure, but his acting was just great. All of the Rohan part is just peak casting and great. Miranda Otto did a stunning job, her singing the mourning song haunts me. And THAT SCENE where Karl Urban just screams himself raw when he finds apparently dead Eowyn. I still don't know why exactly it was cut from the cinematic version, it was a pity.

Andy Serkis. I am appalled that he doesn't appear in more movies because honestly find me any other person who would have delivered a Gollum in the same way. (and please Hollywood cast him in more diverse roles, make me see his face, he's GOOD, give him a chance)

Since no one named him: Sean Astin as Sam. REALLY. The way he can go from grumpy and pouty to bright and happy seeing Frodo and absolutely EPIC. He's a whole journey by himself. Favourite scene: I can tell you the PO-TAY-TOES scene by heart, mimicking Gollum as well. But his speech at the end of Two Towers.

And also. Not a favourite because it's down for lines that are not so good, but... I know it's highly unpopular, but I really liked Morfydd Clark as Galadriel. She's not Cate Blanchett, and she's not supposed to be. That's still Edgy!Galadriel that she plays, she's younger and still hot-headed and please read the book and find out that Galadriel is not an ethereal lady, she's a Noldorin and she can and she WILL kick your ass. Clark does it, she has the right look for it. (her lines could have been better? Yes. I still think she did good with what she had.) (I'm all for edgy and angry, more human-like elves, and thought I know it's flawed, but I liked Rings of Power.)

12. Tolkien's work contains a lot of interesting themes: devastation of war, things lost that cannot be restored, rebirth/renewal, holding true to one's companions even when it is darkest, and others. Which is the most important to you?

I'll try to be brief here, I could fill a dissertation over this.

But mainly:

“It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something. That there is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for."

This.

The fact that no matter how dark it is outside, there's the promise of light and joy at the end of the tunnel. Hope in spite of everything.

And the fact that it doesn't matter where you come from, it doesn't matter who your ancestors were, how tall are you, how much your people has been involved in a situation before. You are valuable, your help is not in vain, there's some good you can do. See: Pippin's arc. Going from fool of a Took, basically a baby thrown in a world so much greater than him... And standing up to the situation, in the end, just because he wants to help, even if he's scared. His taking the Palantir and talking to Sauron, in the end, is one of the biggest assists given to Frodo... and he's the member of the Fellowship that had the least reasons to be there, the least experience and knowledge to help the mission. In the end, he's just as useful as everyone else.

#ask game #tolkien twenty questions #petrel replies #... Tolkien has been my hyperfixation since I first saw the first movie at 9 #in case it wasn't plenty clear #(on “Badass Noldorin Galadriel”: I know Cate Blanchett does it in the Hobbit movie.) #(But I really really didn't like those movies and I don't want to be unpleasant on the subject.) #(I'm glad if you -reader- enjoyed them! I envy that you did!) #(unfortunately for me it wasn't so and to preserve your love I won't engage in any The Hobbit trilogy discourse)

[julysn]

random kyle headcanons

(these r my hcs + only one is nsfw)

ship: kyle broflovski x reader

general warnings: hi

other notes: this is such a mess

a/n: this is me using the hours of sp i binged during the summer to good use

FOR SOME FUCKING REASON I THREW IN UNWIND AU. AND GENSHIN AU SOMEONE HELP ME.. Me when i combine all of my fixations.

anyways if ur curious about those.. check their wikis

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ high school hcs ✶ 𓏲ּ ꩜ .ᐟ

✶ ࣪˖࿐ he's the kid thats super smart and kinda quiet and no one wants to mess w him except cartman. sosososo helpful and kids are always asking him for help on assignments

✶ ࣪˖࿐ GOOD FIGHTER.

✶ ࣪˖࿐ his idea of rizz is helping his crush with picking up their books and helping them out with homework

✶ ࣪˖࿐ all the teachers adore him so he can get away with skipping class and using his phone whenever he feels like it. it’s actually kinda rare to see him on his phone in class or skipping but it’s mostly bc of the boys 🤷‍♂️

✶ ࣪˖࿐ basketball team captain + he’s one of the best players in the school.

✶ ࣪˖࿐ one time cartman made fun of kyle and said "tolkien shouldve been captain bc hes black and ur just a stupid jew" during basketball practice and kyle "accidentally" shot a ball at his face. he didn’t get in trouble bc the teachers were like “oh cartmans prob lying” LMAOO

✶ ࣪˖࿐ he would buy u girl scout cookies,. he would only buy ur favorites and make stan and kenny sneak them into ur backpack during passing period.

✶ ࣪˖࿐ when he has a crush on u.. you will somehow be brought up in conversations w his friends. whenever he’s changing in the boys locker room he always finds a way to mention you to stan and kenny. meanwhile cartmans like “who cares” but kyle will talk about u a LOt!

✶ ࣪˖࿐ when u got assigned to sit next to him, he’s always helping you out (bf material) (i love him)

✶ ࣪˖࿐ passes notes to u to make sure u understand the subject. they read like “hey, you understand what to do, right?” or “you know what we’re learning about, right?”

✶ ࣪˖࿐ 100% mews during class. thats why hes so quiet. he doesn’t put his hand up for questions bc hes mewing!

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ ur husband + baby daddy hcs ✶ 𓏲ּ ꩜ .ᐟ

sorry amab fans.. HERES A UTERUS (and tits) LMAO

✶ ࣪˖࿐ whenever the baby wakes u up in the middle of the night hes like "no. GO BACK TO SLEEp" and goes to comfort the baby for twenty minutes while u drift off

✶ ࣪˖࿐ HES SUCH A GOOD DAD UGH

✶ ࣪˖࿐ sometimes he wants more kids bc of how sweet u are. like he’ll see you playing with the kids and his mind will wander off to how it’d be if you were pregnant again

✶ ࣪˖࿐ you were insecure about your breasts getting bigger and heavier and he reassured u and said he would love u no matter what (even if u were a worm aahhaahhha..)

✶ ࣪˖࿐ “sweetheart do you want me to pick up the kids from school? i’ll buy us food”

✶ ࣪˖࿐ SO DAMN SWEET

✶ ࣪˖࿐ ur kids are now 12 and 13 years old. and one day kyle got kenny to babysit them. lets just say when u came home they were saying not very pg things LMAOO

✶ ࣪˖࿐ whenever he helps the kids with their homework he pulls out his reading glasses and they’re low on his nose and you find it SO cute.

✶ ࣪˖࿐ he wakes up before u because his shift starts earlier, and whenever u wake up there’s always a hot shot of espresso waiting for u

✶ ࣪˖࿐ typa dad to be chill and lenient but whenever hes mad at the kids… dear lord !

✶ ࣪˖࿐ whenever ur stressed from the kids or work, he always prepares a relaxing and hot bath for you. and he goes all out. dimmed lights, lit candles, rose petals everywhere, a perfect bubble bath with your favorite scents. you can tell he’s obsessed + in love and hes not afraid to show it

✶ ࣪˖࿐ affectionate and sweet. he will do anything for u. he cooks dinner for u. he makes coffee in the morning for u. he takes the kids out so u can have a break. you’re his one and only

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ genshin au hcs ✶ 𓏲ּ ꩜ .ᐟ

✶ ࣪˖࿐ either dendro or geo vision. i dunno

✶ ࣪˖࿐ polearm or sword user 😜

✶ ࣪˖࿐ I FEEL LIKE HE WOULD BE FROM FONTAINE OR SNEZHNAYA IDK THO

✶ ࣪˖࿐ would either hate the fatui or b one of the harbingers

✶ ࣪˖࿐ are we seeing the vision guys

✶ ࣪˖࿐ got put into the slammer/fortress of meropide and didn't know how to use credit coupons so he accidentally gave all of them to someone (and was really mad after he found out what credit coupons were)

✶ ࣪˖࿐ you’re a receptionist at the fortress. and when u first met kyle he tried flirting w u (his rizz was absolutely horrible AT THE Start) and u were like “stop. stop holding up the line mr. broflovski” and he said “of course not, mrs broflovski” and shot u a cheeky wink (hes using his redhead jewish rizz)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ unwind au hcs ✶ 𓏲ּ ꩜ .ᐟ

this is a mess. i'm sorry.

✶ ࣪˖࿐ he 100% tried to pull the akron awol/connor lassiter shooting a juvey-cop with his own tranq gun move. (it probably worked)

✶ ࣪˖࿐ omg. scenario where you guys find out u both are getting unwound so u both kick awol and go to a safe house and he acts slightly possessive and jealous of u because he doesn’t wanna lose u 💘💘

✶ ࣪˖࿐ he would ABSOLUTELY hate hayden when they first meet. but they would be friends later on. this is canon bc i said so and i am always 100% true (not clickbait)

✶ ࣪˖࿐ you guys def met at the graveyard and he was head over heels for u. like head flew away from yo heels. he saw u in the crowd when the admiral was giving his speech and kyle went BRIGHT RED

✶ ࣪˖࿐ the both of u are at the graveyard. and ur a medic. and kyle purposely gets bruises or tiny, practically painless cuts so he can visit and be like "hi y/n 😓😣 can u take care of me it hurts" BOY ITS JUST A LITTLE CUT! but u care about him so u do it anyway. he’s always blushing a little whenever you take care of him and u always shoot him glares which he finds to be super endearing

✶ ࣪˖࿐ les by childish gambino plays in ur head as the two of u meet in a harvest camp bathroom and he says "i love u." and then kisses u deeply. and then he says "if we get unwound i hope our parts end up on the same body" and u shed a tear

✶ ࣪˖࿐ THIS IS SORTA ANGSTY. OKAY. kyle gets unwound and while the procedure is happening all he can think about is u. like he’s sad he didn’t get to confess to you before they took him away and he wishes he told u how much u mean to him before he was dragged away to a harvest camp

✶ ࣪˖࿐ nsfw: when y’all were at the graveyard, u guys had sex in one of the jets while it was empty. best decision of ur life

✶ ࣪˖࿐ OMG TITHE KYLE. TITHE KYLE. HES A TITHE hear me out guys hear me out,..

✶ ࣪˖࿐ he would be the #1 radio free hayden fan (canon) (real) (i said so) (guys its real)

✶ ࣪˖࿐ him stan and kenny escaped a harvest camp and beat up the guards that chased them and they became literal legends

✶ ࣪˖࿐ harvest camp. and every time he sees u he gives u a kiss on the cheek when the staff aren’t looking.

✶ ࣪˖࿐ he wants to be affectionate w u SO BAD whenever u guys are at a harvest camp he can’t stop sneaking glances at you. and whenever he hears ur name get mentioned he immediately starts eavesdropping

✶ ࣪˖࿐ OMG OLAY I GOT ONE you guys met in sonia’s basement and it got cold at night so he let you sleep in his arms for warmth. and it was so cute. like you sat next to him and it was cold so you guys hugged and fell asleep (the other kids were jealous)

#julysn #julia's headcanons ✶𓏲ּ꩜ .ᐟ #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski #south park #south park x reader #headcanon #my headcanons #hcs #my hcs #south park headcanons #kyle broflovski headcanons #kyle headcanons #south park hcs #headcanons #alternate universe #sp x unwind sounds SOOO good

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: The Shadow of the Past

"The blame was mostly laid on Gandalf." Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a Disturber of the Peace...

Something about "but the growth of hobbit-sense was not very noticeable" cracks me up

I love the fact that Frodo kept throwing birthday parties for Bilbo after he left. It's so sweet.

I would much rather go to Frodo’s Hundred-weight Feast than Bilbo’s Party of Special Magnificence, actually; twenty guests and several meals “at which it snowed food and rained drink” sounds much more my speed X-D

“Bilbo isn’t dead.” “Where is he then?” “🤷‍♂️”

F in the chat for Folco Boffin, who was mentioned like once in this chapter and never comes into the story again

"Merry and Pippin suspected that [Frodo] visited the Elves at times, as Bilbo had done." TEA???

Frodo's wandering in the autumn has such an evocative and melancholy feeling to it. So much so that I wrote a poem about it last year...

Part Two of me wishing the movies could have shown the Dwarves passing through the Shire on their way to the Blue Mountains

Sam be like "Dragons and Ents are real, I tell you!" and Ted Sandyman like "press X to doubt"

Our first glimpse of Sam's unassailable trust in Frodo and his wisdom 💚

And now! Exposition dumping, with Gandalf.

I hate the fact that I can't see or hear the word Eregion without getting war flashbacks to Amazon's Rings of Poopy

Ooh, remind me to write an essay about the invisibility power of the Ring(s)...

"[Bilbo] would certainly never have passed on to you anything that he thought would be a danger." Oh boy, would you look at the time, it's Crying About Adoptive Relationships O'clock

"'There wasn't any permanent harm done, was there?' asked Frodo anxiously. 'He would get all right in time, wouldn't he? Be able to rest in peace, I mean.'" OH BOY, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME—

Literally Gandalf: "Hobbits are my special interest"

"It is quite cool." It sure is, Gandalf. Wicked. Radical, even.

Low-hanging fruit, I know, but I had to 🤣

Speaking of low-hanging fruit, here's a joke I made two years ago about the "until Spring had passed into Winter" line:

He threw a luau barbecue one breezy summer night/Invited all his turtle pals to come and have a wiki bite/The turtles started walkin' there as Lance began to swing/The one that lived across the street arrived there in the spring...!

"I wish it need not have happened in my time." "So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." Still a line that goes so, so hard, right in the middle of this exposition dump.

I like how in Gandalf's story, he makes Deagol talk normally, but Smeagol still has all those verbal idiosyncrasies that are iconic to Gollum.

I'm still trying to remember who it was that pointed out that the last syllable of Smeagol is the first syllable of Gollum. Blew my mind when I saw that, I tell ya.

"I can put it no plainer than by saying that Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, and not by its maker. In which case you also were meant to have it. And that may be an encouraging thought." "It is not." 🤣🤣🤣

The thought of Gollum creeping through a window to snatch a baby from a cradle and eat it is at least seventeen different kinds of Not Fun. Thanks, Tolkien.

I have very little to say about Gandalf's retelling of the Ring's story—and Frodo's frightened and naive questions—except that it's almost as hard to tear your eyes away from the book as it is for Frodo to throw the Ring into the fire.

"I do really wish to destroy it! Or, well, to have it destroyed. I am not made for perilous quests." Oh, Frodo, bby...

I love how Sam's spying is so artfully foreshadowed here X-D You just go whistling away down that path, buddy! Nobody suspects a thing!

All Frodo has to say is "I suppose I'll have to go running into danger alone to keep everything and everyone I love safe, even if it means never coming home again; it's a pity, but I'll do it" and Gandalf is like "Frodo have I mentioned lately how much I love you and hobbits in general". Which. Mood! Big mood!

SUDDENLY, SAMWISE GAMGEE!

Good gracious did I need Sam and his comic relief after this heavy chapter X-D Bless you, Sam, you loveable dummy

I wonder what hobbit idiom Tolkien "translated" into "Lor bless you, sir". I'm not sure the hobbits have a concept of Eru Illuvatar as a benevolent God who hands out blessings; and if they do, I somehow doubt they'd have quaint little figures of speech like this. But I'm just nitpicking at this point because it's fun.

"There ain't no eaves at Bag End, and that's a fact." SAM 🤣🤣

"Mr. Frodo, sir! Don't let him hurt me, sir! Don't let him turn me into anything unnatural! My old dad would take on so." Have I mentioned that I love the heck out of Sam?

Frodo is "hardly able to keep from laughing", which, MOOD!

Sam heard that Mr. Frodo was going away and audibly choked. GAH I love him so much

Frodo sure knows how to threaten Sam LOL

"If you even breathe a word of what you've heard here, then I hope Gandalf will turn you into a spotted toad and fill the garden full of grass-snakes." 🤣🤣

"'Me, sir!' cried Sam, springing up like a dog invited for a walk. 'Me go and see Elves and all! Hooray!' he shouted, and then burst into tears." Oh, Sam. I love you.

#chapter review #frodo baggins #gandalf #samwise gamgee #lord of the rings #lotr #my writing

[spiced-wine-fic]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much dear @nocompromise-noregrets 🤗

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?  45

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

2,842,840

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Tolkien. The Silmarillion. 

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 

Fragments of Fate and Fire (This one, I don’t tend to count, as it’s mostly art. It’s much easier to look at an image than devote time to reading).

Dark Prince, 

Magnificat of the Damned Book III: Fire.

A Far, Fierce Sky

Magnificat of the Damned Book II: Resurrection. 

5. Do you respond to comments? 

Of course. 😊 (I am grateful for them).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

Magnificat of the Damned Book IV: Anvil. 

And I got some incredible comments on the last chapter that I still cherish. (It was not the end, but it was the end of that series).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

I don’t believe in endings. Stories always continue and mine are mostly part of an ongoing series. But I have written a couple of one-shots and Requital did have a much more positive ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Never have, no. Or if I have it must have been mild and I’ve forgotten. But then I moderate my fics on AO3 and people usually can't be arsed to type a raging comment that won’t get published. Also I’m just not read that much. I write a lot of OC’s and people tend to scroll past, I’m sure.  (I never had negative comments on LOTRFF.com or Faerie, either, and one couldn’t moderate, but again, I think it was because that kind of person just didn’t bother with them and the atmosphere was more polite on those archives).

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Sometimes. M/M. These days, it’s when it comes up, which is not so often. I find (after a particularly horrible fandom experience) that it’s like salt: you don’t need to pour it over everything. Anyhow, I’m interested in stories which have everything in them, not just sex. 

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

No. 

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

I wrote Dark Prince and Dark Lands with Annwyn (back in 06/07) who I’m still in contact with but is no longer in fandom. She was lovely to write with. 

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Fëanor/Fingolfin. 

14.  What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

I want to finish A Far, Fierce Sky. I was writing that in tandem with one of the Magnificat stories and as A Light in the East and A Far, Fierce Sky, it’s sequel, were AU’s to my main arc, I had to drop one of them when I became self-employed. 

I no longer have the time to write very much so I hope to survive long enough to retire and be able to do much more 🥺

15. What are your writing strengths? 

Probably perseverance. I can hack through blocks and I completely ignore fandom fads so I can concentrate on my writing without dashing after the next hot take. If I get an idea I’ll follow it through. 

16. What are your writing weaknesses? 

Take your pick! 🤪

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

If used sparingly it can be effective. 

18. First fandom you wrote for? 

Tolkien. I’m monofandom. 

19.  Favourite fic you’ve written? 

I think of fics in terms of how I felt when I was writing them, and if I was in the ‘zone’ so it is a tie between Dark Prince and  Summerland.  Tagging @cycas @ettelene @nuredhel @naryaflame @pinksiamese @crowandmoonwriting @jane-ways @antares0606 @independence1776 @lucifers-cuvette @minquelie @grundyscribbling @thenookienostradamus @swanfloatieknight @geneeste @auntieaugury @blue-istari-stars-of-the-south @feedthefandomfest and really anyone who sees this and would like to do it.

#Fic #writing #questions #answers

[abbatoirablaze]

Porcelain Doll, Chapter 7

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: mentions of drugging/being drugged, injury to ones self, Stockholm syndrome?, soft! Dark bucky, implied unprotected sex/smut, sex pollen

Bucky’s jaw tensed as he heard you moving about upstairs.  It was just a few days since the Christmas party, and he knew that New Years hadn’t hit, but it still made him nervous to know that he’d been holed up in your basement.

It was the little things that triggered him, making him remember the patchy moments of when he was locked up by HYDRA.  

Above him, you were setting up the living room for your therapy session.  Your therapist had made it painfully obvious to you that you were regressing, and had made the Christmas party more of a showing to Bucky, instead of enjoying it for what it was; a holiday party. 

“You need to stop your unhealthy obsession, Margo!”

“It’s not an obsession…Bucky kissed me before-“

“And you had sex with Andy Barber,” he pointed out, cutting you off, “you’re focusing your attention on older men, and I can’t help but wonder why?  What is your fascination?  Is it parental issues?  I know that you and your father were close before he passed.  Are you missing the affections of an older man in your life? Do you just want the attention? Or is it the drama?”

You stood up, glaring at him, “this is over…you need to leave!”

“Margo, it’s my job to ask the difficult questions.”

“And now it’s not,” you growled, not wanting to continue any longer, “you’re fired! I’m eighteen now, and I’ve surpassed the amount of time that it was mandated that I see you!”

“Fine,” he huffed.  Bucky heard the floorboards above himself creak, and he glared at the ceiling from his spot in the basement, “but as Bucky’s friend, I’m going to have to let him know that you have these…feelings…a school girl crush if you will.”

“Get out.”

Bucky wasn’t mad. 

He’d been beyond pissed.  But there was something about his friend threatening to out you to him that made him transfer his anger to the man that was in his late forties instead of the woman who had managed to lock him up in her basement. 

He didn’t blame you when you left your house in a huff, not even twenty minutes after him.  He knew that today was your day where you would go shopping and get chores done. 

He’d remembered that from when you were at home before college. 

And so he planned on using that to his benefit. 

In your rush, you had forgotten to fully close the cuffs, leaving him enough room to dislocate his thumbs and slip out of them. 

“Friday?”

“Yes Sergeant Barnes?”

“Manual override locking mechanism in the basement,” he said with a smirk, “Password:  Tolkien.”

There wasn’t a response. 

Only the sound of the door’s lock clicking into place, before creaking open. 

Bucky sighed to himself.  You were a sweet girl.  A smart one too.  And he’d be lying to say that he didn’t have feelings even after all of the craziness of you abducting and drugging him. 

In a little spot of his mind, it was slightly endearing. 

Ever since his wife had cheated on him with Steve, he had become increasingly more resistant to forming relationships.  He knew that.  It wasn’t a matter of guessing; it was a simple fact.   So, when he felt himself developing the feelings, he panicked. 

Quite literally. 

The day that he kissed you he remembered running home and hiding in his house for two whole days, before he remembered that he couldn’t avoid you forever. 

And by the time summer had come, he’d done a decent job of avoiding you long enough that he didn’t say anything stupid or ask you on a date. 

But god, did he want to.

“Shit…” he muttered, looking around the main floor.  His jacket and wallet were nowhere around.  Neither were his keys or his phone. 

Stepping to the foot of the stairs, he noticed his jacket on one of the hooks, but he surmised that his stuff had to have been hidden in your room.

It was a short journey upstairs, but he was surprised to see that the master bedroom was not what he had expected it to be. 

It was simple yes, with a calm blue-gray wall and a large bed.  But each side had a nightstand.  On the side that you had slept on there was an alarm clock as well as a charging station for your phone.  But on the other side was his keys, wallet, phone, and a picture of the Howling Commandos. 

Part of him felt butterflies in his stomach. 

You had made it feel like he was already supposed to be there. 

“Shit…”

He shook his head and tried to push away his feelings, while he grabbed his items and ran to the dresser on that side.  The drawers were full of his clothes.  His brow quirked. 

How did you have the time to go get his stuff?

How did no one notice you going into his home and bringing stuff over to yours?

Getting changed, he tucked the dirty clothes back into the drawers, not wanting to raise any suspicion.  He grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone from the nightstand, and threw them in his pockets. 

But just as he was getting ready to leave, he noticed a few small thumb sized baggies on top of your diary.  He frowned, realizing that those must have been the drugs that you had been feeding him to make him pass out.

Picking them up as to discard them later, he put them in his pockets, but his eyes caught on the words that were scrawled onto the page.  You had written something that very morning.

A page, all about him. 

You were talking about how much you loved him, and how eventually he would see that you were only keeping him locked up until he realized it.  But that it would be enough time for you to finish your project. 

Unsure of what you were talking about, Bucky made his way down the hall, to where your old bedroom used to be. 

Pushing the door open, he gasped as he stepped inside. 

You had turned it into a nursery.

‘He’s just the sweetest guy…and I think about him all the time.  How he was there for me after my parents died.  How he rebuilt the house and made it safe for me.  How he gave me a voice when I felt like I was alone…it woke something up inside of me.  I went from silly little crush to falling in love with him.’

“Bucky?”

Bucky’s eyes snapped to yours, his mind quickly bringing forth the words that he'd seen scribbled on the diary's pages.

‘It makes me wonder what he would be like in the future…if we had a child together.  If we created a family together.  That kiss made me really see the whole picture.  That he feels the same.  He may not be willing to admit it all the time, but I know we’re meant to be something.’

“Wh-what are you doing here?”

You were nervous. 

He could practically hear your heart racing.

“Isn’t this exactly where you wanted me?” he asked, his voice sounding husky enough to send a shiver down your spine.

“Ho-how did you get out of the basement?”

“I don’t think that matters right now,” he uttered, “What I think truly matters is how you thought you were going to get away with this.”

You swallowed nervously, “I-I-“

But you froze when you saw him pulling one of the little baggies out of  his pockets, “and this?”

“Th-that’s not what you think it is, Bucky…”

“Oh…I know exactly what it is,” he smiled, opening it up.  Your eyes widened when he blew it in your general direction.  Your nostrils twitched, the sensation burning ever so slightly as it made it’s way into your system, “thing is…I don’t think you know what it’ll really do…”

“I-“

“Just a little baggie like this will keep the both of us on edge for hours,” he began.  You felt your chest heave as you watched him take off his shirt, and start undoing his jeans.  Your eyes traveled down to his crotch where he was already getting hard.  Instinctively your mouth watered, “Hydra used to use this to control me and drive me mad…do you know the only way to get over getting sex pollen in your system, Margo?”

“N-No…”

Your skin felt like it was buzzing.  It began to feel too sensitive.  You began to feel too hot.  The fabric was too scratchy against your skin.

“Go ahead, doll…take it off…I know what you're feeling right now. Truth is, I feel it too...” he urged gently, taking a few steps towards you.  When you didn’t move, he closed the gap between the two of you.  You watched as his muscles rippled with every movement.  He reached forward and grabbed at the neckline of your dress.  With a simple tug it ripped in half.  Another ripple of shivers went down your spine as you became fixated on the valleys and peaks of muscle along his chest.  His vibranium hand reached down and lifted your chin until you were staring into the set of steely, lust ridden eyes, “I know you can feel it working in your bloodstream doll.  Now tell me…how do you get over sex pollen?”

“I don’t-I don’t know!” you admitted.

"I do!" he admitted. His smirk got wider, his lips brushing against yours, “I’m going to split you in half on my cock, doll…and then I’m going to cum so much…all inside that pretty little pussy of yours.”

You whimpered as his flesh hand cupped your cunt.  He licked his lips and looked down at your already soaked panties, “you’re about to get your wish doll…but after this we won't need to worry about locks and handcuffs...you'll be full of me...all to the point where it'll be you that can't move. Doll, it’s you who won’t be able to get out of the bed.”

You whimpered again as he ripped your panties off of you with a single flick of his wrist, "B-Bucky..."

"Don't' worry doll...I take real good care of you," he moaned, his fingers eagerly slipping back towards your core and dipping inside of you. Your body arched against his, your core sucking his fingers in and clenching around him, "god...you feel like a little slice of heaven...my sweet little porcelain doll."

Chapter 8

Tag List:  @teambarnes72, @lohnes16

#porcelain doll #marvel #marvel au #the avengers #bucky barnes #big bad wolf au #james buchanan barnes #sergeant james buchanan barnes #james barnes #sergeant james barnes #dark winter soldier #falcon and winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #the winter solider #the winter soldier

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

Tolkien Family Week, Day 4: Cut Ties (aka Éomer and Théodred trauma bond)

The Day 4 @tolkienfamilyweek prompt of “cut ties” covers everything from disagreements to separation and death. I went with death in order to revisit one of Rohan’s biggest tragedies, the death of Théodred. I absolutely love Théodred and have built up a fair amount of head canon about him, though you don’t need to know any of that for this story.

My inspiration here was Théodred’s last words as he lay dying by the Isen (as recorded in Unfinished Tales): “Let me lie here to keep the ford until Éomer comes.” There’s obviously a practical take on that line–he wants to hold his position until Éomer can bring more men to secure it. But I decided to read it from an emotional perspective instead–he wants to be left where he is until Éomer can get there because that is who he wants and needs to see in what he knows are his final moments. So I wrote a little history of the relationship between Éomer and Théodred and the way that grief, in particular, bonded them, starting with their shared love for Théodwyn (Théodred’s aunt and Éomer’s mother). Pour one out for Théodred, because he was a real one!

**********

“Let me lie here—to keep the fords until Éomer comes.”

There had always been Théodwyn. 

When Théodred searched his earliest memories, her face is what he found. Her sunny smile welcoming him back from sleep each morning. Her soft hands soothing his hurts when he fell or injured himself. Her high, clear voice telling him stories as they went for walks in the fields or while she led him around the training ring on his first pony. She was barely more than a girl herself at the time, but she was there, stepping into the breach left by his mother’s death and his father’s retreat into the depths of grief.

Over time, his father found a way to heal, to separate the birth of his son from the death of his wife and to embrace his little boy without hesitancy or reservation. But even then, his aunt remained the biggest figure in Théodred’s young life. He started and ended each day with her, took his lessons from her, asked her all of his questions and told her all of his feelings. And she gave him hugs and kisses and laughs and the occasional scolding. She taught him all the best bad words and made him special cakes on his birthday. She showed him how to take a handful of simple little seeds and turn them into beautiful flowers with nothing more than water, soil and sunshine. She was magic.

He knew she couldn’t stay at Meduseld forever. She had her own life to live, and when he was ten she met and fell in love with a man from Aldburg. He missed her terribly when she married Éomund and left for the Eastfold, but they saw each other when they could and exchanged letters when they couldn’t. Long years passed, but she was still the first one he thought to tell whenever he had good news and the first he wanted to turn to for consolation when things were hard. Though he had always called her Aunt Théodwyn, she was the closest thing to a mother he would ever know, and he cherished her. 

But in the summer of his twenty-fourth year, it all went wrong. First Éomund was killed during a poorly planned orc hunt, riding off too hastily without waiting for the additional numbers he would need to protect himself. Then Théodwyn suddenly came down with a mysterious fever. A stronger constitution might have overcome the illness, but Théodwyn, weakened in spirit by the shock of Éomund’s death, didn’t have the heart to battle. Just three weeks after the loss of Éomund, she went to bed early and never woke up. 

Now Théodred found himself on the terrace in front of Meduseld, waiting to greet the cousins who were being entrusted to his care, and that of his father, to try to salvage any possible happiness that could be wrested back from the unthinkable turn their young lives had taken. As he waited, he took his own overwhelming sorrow, the enormous grief weighing on his chest and pressing the breath from his lungs, and he pushed it down. He pressed and he pressed until his vast, shapeless misery was just a hard little knot in his stomach that he could quietly tolerate without outward expression. He would not show this grief to Éomer or Éowyn, whose burden was heavy enough without the sadness of another to manage. He would follow in Théodwyn’s example and step into the breach for them, whether he felt ready or not. 

The arrival of Éomer and Éowyn changed everything about daily life in Meduseld. Éowyn, all of seven years old, spent much of her time with Elfhelm’s wife, who was called into service to provide a small girl with the maternal presence she longed for, but Éomer became Théodred’s charge. They spent their days together, riding, hunting, or swimming in the Snowbourne, anything to keep Éomer’s spirits up and give him more to think about than what he was missing. Théodred wondered at the boy’s resiliency in the face of his losses. While his demeanor was solemn and his face grave, he never cried or expressed pain, and he even managed to offer himself as a source of comfort to his little sister when her own pain overcame her. Théodred couldn’t help but admire this strength, and it motivated him further to keep his own grief private, to match his young cousin’s mastery of his feelings. 

Instead, Théodred saved up his grief for a few stolen minutes at the very end of each day, after the rest of the household had gone to sleep and no one else stirred except the occasional guard on patrol. Then, under cover of darkness, he would quietly steal outside to sit in the little garden at the south end of the hall. It had been Théodwyn’s garden. She planted it when he was a boy, and when she departed for Aldburg he had taken over its care, tending dutifully to her blossoms and herbs and adding in the ferns and fruit trees that he favored. There was nowhere else that he felt closer to her memory, and he would sit alone under her moonflower vines, unclench the knot in his stomach, and allow himself to cry at last. When he had released enough of his sorrow to feel that he could go on for another day, he would dry his eyes, push his feelings back down again, and head off in search of a few hours of sleep. 

A week or so into this new routine, a sudden nighttime cloudburst drove him from the garden and his grieving sooner than expected. He raced to the closest door, a side entrance he seldom used, and quietly let himself in. The corridor was hushed and dim, and he kept his steps soft as he slipped past the closed doors of the hall’s sleeping residents and headed toward his own room. On the walls beside him, the faces of his ancestors looked down from their portraits. Brave Fréaláf. Sad Folcwine. Noble Thengel. He paused when he came to Théodwyn, intending to spend just a minute under the warm and gentle gaze of her likeness, when he heard something unexpected: the slightest of sniffles coming from somewhere in the darkness at his feet. Stooping down, he suddenly found himself face to face with Éomer. 

His cousin was tucked up against the wall, knees under his chin and arms wrapped tightly around his shins, staring at the portrait of his mother. Tears streamed down his cheeks and dripped onto his shirt, creating a large, dark stain just over his heart. He looked up, lower lip quivering and brows drawn tightly together, and for half a moment it seemed as though he might force back the tears and reclaim his typical mask of calm solemnity. But all his effort, all of his rigorously guarded self control, finally failed. Under Théodred’s eyes, Éomer began to sob, as he had been doing here alone each night, hidden away from family and strangers alike. 

Théodred’s first decision was easy. Indeed, it wasn’t even a decision, it was just instinct. He dropped to the floor at Éomer’s side, wrapped his cousin in a tight embrace, and held the little boy as he wept. The second decision was harder, a reconsideration of everything he had planned for managing Théodwyn’s death, but he knew in that moment it was the right thing to do. He allowed his own tears to return, and for as long as Éomer cried, Théodred cried with him.

When at last their tears came to an end, Théodred was surprised to feel a little lighter, relieved of some portion of the weight he had been carrying through each day. Éomer, too, looked less grave, if perhaps also a little embarrassed. They walked back together to Éomer’s room and, though they didn’t talk directly about what had just passed between them, they agreed to meet again by the portrait the next night at the same time. And so they made for themselves a new routine, coming together each night to reduce their suffering by sharing it with one another. Sometimes they sat by the portrait; other times, they went to the garden. No matter where they were, they thought of Théodwyn and allowed themselves to let out the sadness that they otherwise kept locked inside.

As the days passed, they cried less and talked more. They learned not only how to grieve her loss but also how to celebrate her memory and, in time, they could each think of her and feel happiness alongside the pain. They traded treasured memories and stories, and some days they even laughed, fondly recalling her terrible singing voice or her deadly accurate impression of Théoden. Eventually, they even came to talk of other things entirely, their nightly meetings providing an opportunity to confide in each other the fears, hopes, or concerns that they would speak to no one else. 

By the end of Éomer’s first season in Edoras, the seeds of their shared sadness had grown and transformed into an unshakeable bond, one more blossom in Théodwyn’s garden. That bond would last through happy times and further tragedy, changing circumstances and stages of life. It lasted all the way to that rainy night at the fords many years later, when Théodred himself lay near death. And alone with his pain, his body spent and his spirit facing imminent separation from everything he knew and everyone he loved, Théodred did the only thing he could think to do when confronted with grief. He called for his cousin. 

#tolkien family week #cut ties #eomer #theodred #trauma bonding #let me lie here...until eomer comes #sob #lord of the rings #lotr fanfiction #forth eorlingas

[agent-troi]

Twenty questions for fanfic writers

I was tagged by the incomparable @baronessblixen 🫶🫶

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

104

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

396,351

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The X-Files, Star Trek, and I have one The West Wing fic

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Platonic Procreation

Security Questions

Eden

Mother Knows Best

The MSR Files

5. Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes! I usually try to respond if someone commented about something specific, and essay length comments always deserve a reply❤️ also if someone comments saying they reread your fic bc that's the best feeling in the world

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm I only have a few that end angsty but I guess that would be my canon compliant post-IVF Rain King fic, Driftwood Lullaby

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Aqua Vitae, but I also wanna spotlight one of my earlier fics, in which Mulder gives Scully a real wedding ring for their case in Arcadia, Though the Heavens Fall

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a couple of nitpicky comments and one actual hate comment (ironically that one was on my most popular fic!😆)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No, I know it's popular but it's just not my thing either to write or to read

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't written one yet but I have several ideas for TXF/Star Trek, TXF/SVU, TXF/Bones gathering dust in my google docs😅

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not as far as I know

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Several! I contributed a chapter to Anahata: The Heart Chakra, Eden, The Amazing Muldeeni, and Agent Scully is Already in Love

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

MSR!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A prequel to Purplerow by @katy-kt-katie, an AU in which Scully is an astronaut, about the time she made first contact with aliens on Mars (I really wanna finish this but life has decided to just keep throwing bricks at me and I haven't been able to concentrate enough to write in so long😭)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm good at dialogue😅

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle so much with choosing the right word to describe something sometimes, and also finding alternative words to use when I accidentally use the same word four or five times in the same paragraph😂

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like reading it! I think it adds to the atmosphere of the story, but I don't think I've ever done it myself except to copy and paste the German dialogue from Triangle😅

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Lord of the Rings, I wrote a sequel featuring Aragorn and Arwen's daughter and posted it on Instagram back when I was active in the Tolkien fandom circa 2015 (posting fic on instragram probably sound super weird lmao but it was what people did, they'd post a pic corresponding to the fic and the chapter went in the captions)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm pretty proud of the fic I wrote last October for Mulder's birthday, Where a Million Stars Catch Fire

Tagging @katy-kt-katie @tofuttim @television-overload @cecilysass @slippinmickeys @skelavender @virtie333 and idk who else writes and hasn't been tagged so if you see this have at it lol

#tag game #fic writing #x files fanfic

[brynnmclean]

twenty questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @stitchingatthecircuitboard! Thanks, friend! This was fun! :D

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

54! Though some of them are ficlet collections that I might separate out, if I could do it all over again.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

180,644

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, Rings of Power / the Tolkien Legendarium (including Silm, LotR, The Hobbit).

Previously, Rogue One, Star Wars sequel trilogy, broke ground writing fic for a m/m Viking romance novel Brothers of the Wild North Sea (it made me so happy), and the tiniest bit of Black Sails.

Before that, a LOT of Supernatural fic, some Being Human US, and LOST.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

cast some light & you'll be all right, 4.5k Explicit Rogue One Rebelcaptain fic where Cassian doesn't like one-sided sex and Jyn isn't used to having a partner who wants to make time for her. They figure it out!

waiting to step forward, 3k Explicit Rogue One Rebelcaptain fic, the direct sequel to cast some light featuring Cassian Andor: Cunnilingus Addict again

I waited for the crash to come, 17k Rogue One Rebelcaptain ficlet collection -- one of those ones that I suppose I could have separated out, but it feels way too late to do it now! There are a lot of ficlets that I love in there though.

beneath the stars, 4k Kíli/Tauriel Hobbit AU where Thranduil hosts a party and Kíli and Tauriel get to dance together and smooch :)

I wanna hurry home to you, 2k Explicit Rogue One Rebelcaptain fic, ALSO part of the cast some light 'verse, sex interrupted by a stand-up meeting, sex continued after the meeting, lol

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to them as they come, but I have DEFINITELY run into the problem where I haven't responded to some of them and the more time passes, the worse I feel about not responding, and then it just-- anyway, if you've ever sent me a very nice comment that I haven't responded to, please know that I saw it, cried about how nice it was and how good it made me feel, got slammed by something in life, and now remember you with helpless, wordless gratitude.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write a lot of angst! But an old old old episode-related fic called exercise in futility for Being Human US, featuring season 1 Aidan who was a MESS, might fit the bill.

Or out of storms comes strength for tomorrow which is a Tauriel-centric, grief processing fic...? but I feel like the ending for that one is more hopeful than not? That's a little more where I like to land. There's light in there somewhere, always.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Either sanctuary (Rogue One crew beach vacation for @eisoj5!) or I used to be a king alone (a May the Fourth Rebelcaptain Date-Shaped Mission or a Mission-Shaped Date).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I got a couple unpleasant anons during the SPN days over some meta re: fandom reaction to a very large fic project, but otherwise my fandom experience has been kind. I can't remember ever getting hate on my fics in particular, but I have gotten some odd comments before, ranging from "why is [male character] randomly a girl" for a genderqueer / rule 63 fic to "when are [m/f couple] going to have Real Sex" for a smut series.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! Not as much lately, but the majority of my Rebelcaptain fics were non-PIV (out of spite :D) explicit fics. The first smut fic I wrote was a SPN OT3 with Dean/Castiel/Lisa so... I have a little experience writing threesomes (looking at Galadriel/Celeborn/Halbrand eventually)!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written the beginnings of crossover AUs-- I was kicking around a Rogue One Black Sails AU (was going to be Saw Gerrera-centric, as he's the Flint analog), I have an outline for a Rebelcaptain Bourne Identity AU (Jyn as the GFFA Jason Bourne -- one day I SWEAR I'll give this one a fair shot because I actually do have the rare PLOT OUTLINE), and I wrote a ficlet for a Rogue One Grey Company LotR AU.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I did have a Rebelcaptain ficlet plagiarized once. Many thanks to the anon who alerted me to the situation so I could make a successful removal request.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not! I have had some fics podficced which were wonderful. :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't formally co-written a fic with anyone, but I am enjoying the hell out of playing around in the sandbox @rain-sleet-snow and I are hanging out in for the Uncorrupted Mairon AU.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

WOW, I absolutely cannot choose ONE out of ALL of them... If I have to choose... Right now I'm positively feral over Galadriel/Celeborn/Halbrand, but I wrote and will love Jyn/Cassian forever.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Alas... I am not good at finishing fics and I don't often have the discipline to write long-form fic. One of these days I would love to get back to safe house in the hurricane or out of grief joy.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Considering like, 95% of my fics are conversations / dialogue, I think we can consider that a strength!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

PLOT. I'm a pantser. I never know where I'm going next. Also action scenes are extremely difficult!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Thoughts? Cold-sweat terror. Thank you to much smarter people than I am for Elvish translations. Anyone who writes in multiple languages, whether real-world or conlangs, leaves me in awe.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

... LOST, maybe??? @ladytharen helped run a 108 word drabble challenge on LJ that I THINK got me into my first forays of writing fic that wasn't, uh, childhood handwritten scrawling in notebooks for LotR.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh!!!! I'm taking a leaf from @stitchingatthecircuitboard's book and going to list three:

I still think out of storms (the Tauriel grief fic) is one of my best

There's so much of my heart in blessed, the Éomer & Éowyn late night conversation fic that also features genderqueer / genderfluid!Éowyn fic-- though damn it, I wish I'd titled the fic better, but it feels too late to change it, lol

and honestly, as rusty as I felt writing it, I really love first flush of hope to carry the grey away, 1k Rebelcaptain not-a-kiss in an alley

tagging: @rain-sleet-snow, @ladytharen, @eisoj5, @heymacareyna, @ichabodjane, and whoever else is reading this and would like to. Consider yourself tagged!

#fic writer questions #tag games #this was fun #i have been writing a little bit lately! #i wish i had the stamina discipline etc. to write a lot #i am working on it. hopeful for a calm nano. #my fic

[thelordofgifs]

11 for the ask: You can have four Tolkien characters over for dinner. Who do you choose and why?

This is a fun one! I would choose Maedhros, Maglor, Finrod and Bilbo. Maedhros and Maglor because they’re my poor tragic tortured babies and I just want to meet them and possibly give them some hot soup. Finrod and Bilbo would inject some much-needed lightness into proceedings and also I REALLY want to see them meet each other. They would both be so excited!! Happy little scholars! Yes I know they almost certainly met when Bilbo sailed to Valinor, idc I want to be there to see it. Also Bilbo would ask all the First Age elves the most intrusive historical questions. Maglor, the storyteller, would probably answer these honestly and with interesting details not in the historical record. Maedhros would just be bewildered. Finrod would sometimes answer properly, sometimes say the most outrageous stuff with a completely straight face so you had no idea whether it was actually true or not, and most often get too distracted quizzing Bilbo (and also me, a twenty-first-century human) on every aspect of our lives.

#asks #itscassiberry #ask game #bilbo baggins #maedhros #maglor #finrod

[nelyoslegalteam]

You should talk about antar from dnd on here due to they are neat

FINE but only if you finally run that gondolin campaign and give me an excuse to PLAY THEM AGAIN (threat (affectionate))

okay!! so antar is one of two (2) tolkien ocs i have, both made for d&d purposes. they’re a character i made for a fall of gondolin one-shot game that jaz ran one time. being a fall of gondolin one-shot, the idea was that we were all going to die horribly, it was really just a matter of how.

something that should probably be known about me: i keep wanting to make d&d characters to have get killed off dramatically, but i literally never can, because i get way too fucking attached to them.

so therefore, this is fun, right! i get to make a fun little doomed character, they get to die horribly, i am not going to have them long-term so it literally doesn’t matter!! blorbo for my torture!!

i rolled antar up like an hour, not even, before this game. i chose everything about them to be about as doomed as possible. i even gave them the oathsworn background!!! and, at jaz’s absolutely evil suggestion, to which i went oh that would be SO bad for them,

i had them swear two oaths.

one, they are oathsworn to turgon, to protect gondolin at all costs.

two, they are oathsworn in complete and absolute loyalty to maeglin.

(over the two hours in question, i would come to frequently and almost exclusively refer to maeglin as “my son, who is also my boss.”)

i spent the entire two hours wondering how, exactly, this was going to play out, which oath they were going to inevitably break, what they would do when confronted with what maeglin had done.

well.

antar sees maeglin on the cliff with earendil.

drops literally everything to try to get to him immediately.

gets there, and realizes that morgoth has done something to his mind.

tries at first to convince him that he’s safe, that they’ll protect him from literal morgoth himself if they must.

and when that fails.

declares that they will prove that he is safe.

and immediately breaks their oath to the entire city to defend maeglin, genuinely believing that they could save him, and save everyone.

understandably, they then immediately took twenty shadow points at once, in a game where straight-up murder makes you take five, and then naturally proceeded to die falling off of said cliff.

also understandably, they then immediately proceeded to make me insane about them forever.

several weeks later, they would still be living in my brain enough for me to decide that, as a member of turgon’s guard, they bore extremely direct witness to eol’s attempted murder of maeglin/successful murder of aredhel, and probably also eol’s subsequent execution. they were extremely affected by watching a child lose both of his parents in one of the most traumatizing ways possible and just. sorta decided that anything this kid needs, they’re there for. truly i do not want to backstory build deeper than that until i get to play them more, because it’s more fun for me if things come up naturally, but they’re an absolute thembo ridden with a deep and unshakable responsibility complex who has just absolutely mentally adopted this poor kid. they’re the house of the mole’s secretary. they’re a polite ball of sunshine. they will kill for you if they love you. and now jaz uses them whenever maeglin needs to have a secretary in fics, which is truly the highest honor.

and @ jaz for asking me this, actually let me play them more i WILL break into your apartment and start getting the dice out myself this is a THREAT <3

#I AM NOT ASKING #(i am begging) #I WANNA PLAY THEM AGAIN SO BAD #the power is in YOUR hands. You Can Make This Happen. #also re: one of my two (2) tolkein ocs – somebody PLEASE ask me about murdoc. please. somebody. Anyone. #also yes character who shows affection by killing for you is perhaps a running thing with every oc i make. whoops. #nelyo askbox #friends!! <3 #gondolin campaign

[greypetrel]

Tolkien asks 4, 11, 20!! - Koko

Hi Koko! Ok, I already answered two of them but I'll take the chance to give them another go, thank you!!

Tis the ask game

4. What passage in Tolkien's books or in any of the films/shows/media speaks to you the most?

Ok, first: Faramir as a whole. More in the books, I love his character and each time seeing him tempted by the Ring in the Two Towers movie is... That's not him. I know it's to add drama and a step to his arc but MH. Not my favourite canon variation from the book.

Also, on a less sad level: Bilbo dreaming of his warm home, of the kettle on the stove and his armchair whilst sleeping in the cold following the dwarves. That one sentence speaks to my soul, that's my core being. I FEEL YOU BILBO.

11. You can have four Tolkien characters over for dinner. Who do you choose and why?

Already answered here.

But if I have enough space and they accept me to give them cuddles: Smaug, Glaurung, Tevildo the Prince of Cats and Tom Bombadil to keep everyone calm.

Will I survive the dinner? Probably not. But I'll die cooing at dragons and at a giant cat, and there are worse deaths.

20. What is your favorite Tolkien universe headcanon? Why did you choose to accept it?

Already answered here, but I'll go on more details on second best.

Tom Bombadil is actually Aule and Goldberry is Yavanna.

Mind me, I agree that it's good for the book that them are never explained, that they're just... This oddity living in the centre of a terrible and dark and dangerous swamp. It adds some mistery and unknown to the world, it tells you that it's WIDE and not everything is certain and known and it's just fascinating.

But... The idea that they are really two Valar who I don't know. Got tired of Valinor and decided to have a long holiday. A spooky second-wedding honeymoon. A safe harbour to be whimsical together. That the world of the living is nice and beautiful and they love him enough to be there, even if in disguise and pretty secluded.

I don't know, it's just a good thought to have around.

#ask game #tolkien twenty questions #petrel replies

[niennawept]

General Tolkien:

❀ Tolkien Twenty Questions ask game

❀ Silmarillion ask game

❀ Elves can feel starlight headcanon

Writing resources for Rings of Power:

❀ Giving "Fabio" the uruk a Black Speech name

❀ How long to tunnel from Orodruin to Tirharad?

Fanfiction:

(contains NSFW works, minors DNI)

❀ My AO3 account is NiennaWept.

🔥NSFW/smut 🗡️ Angst ❤️ Romance 🐇 Fluff

Adar x Reader:

Adar NFSW Alphabet (gender neutral) 🔥❤️

Mistletoe Mischief (female reader, one-shot) 🔥

Calendar Girl (female reader, one-shot) 🔥

Adar x OFC:

Scars of Silver and Gold (novel-length, complete!) 🔥❤️🗡️🐇

Until the Stars Burn Out (one-shot, based on Awake, Arise or Be For Ever Fall'n by @baddybaddyadardaddy) 🔥❤️

#masterlist #fanfiction #adar x oc #adar x reader #minors dni

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Weird question for you. It's the wine talking, sorry :)

If you could make a movie of your LotR fics, which actors would you cast? I know you'll keep Brad Dourif as Grima - would you change anyone else? Still go with Viggo for Aragorn, Sean for Boromir etc?

Also, if there was flashback scenes that included Theodred, who would you use for that role? Movie guy had like, two scenes, and we barely got to see his face.

Always a hard question!

I mean, if we're talking about the actors as they are today I suppose Brad's age of 73 would actually align better with what Tolkien had in mind when he wrote Grima (described as: "a wizened figure of a man with a pale, wise face and heavy-lidded eyes"), rather than middle-aged Brad from the early 2000s ;)

For modern actors, I've no idea who I would choose for Grima. Someone suitably weird looking. Not off-puttingly vile, but just disconcerting. He'd need a proper snake-vibe. I like him having certain animal-esque/evil fey-ish qualities, but they need to be done right.

Also he can't be sexy. No Loki-isn't-traditionally-handsome-in-a-greek-statue-sort-of-way-but-he's-still-unquestionably-good-looking bullshit. None of that. He needs to be disconcerting and weird.

Oh I would keep Grima having dark eyes, as they're described in the book. Because I think it adds a nice level of spookiness to him just having eerily dark inkwells as iris'.

Grima needs to look like he's reading your mind (and possibly stripping you, but not in a sexy way) with his eyeballs.

I have issues with how Peter Jackson chose to portray Grima, because the approach doesn't really make sense for the character and the position he occupies in the King's court, but I did appreciate that he wasn't sexy and that needs to be maintained.

As for everyone else? Honestly, I'd likely redo the entire cast. Some of it is for racial diversity reasons (Aragorn, Legolas, Elrond, maybe Boromir etc.) and others is just down to my thinking other people would be a better fit (Eomer, Eowyn, Arwen, Boromir again, Gimli etc.)

I feel like Dev Patel would need to be in it. Maybe as Legolas.

-

I think it's easier to do this by people I'd keep/invent time travel and/or necromancy-that-works to have their early 2000s selves reprise the role:

Bernard Hill - Theoden

Ian Holm - Bilbo

Cate Blanchette - Galadriel

Ian McKellen - Gandalf

Christopher Lee - Saruman

I'm 50/50 on the hobbits and their actors, all of whom I like, but I feel that there are better fits for them? Also, again, we can have more diversity.

-

There absolutely would be flashbacks with Theodred and I would pick someone more appropriate age wise since he's in his 40s, like Boromir, and whoever they had in the movies was too young.

There'd be some fun scenes of Theodred being like: I don't need to marry, I'm still young, there's plenty of time for heirs and spares. Then Grima just stares into the camera like he's on the office. Holds up a chart that shows the growth of Sauron's power. Theodred is like "eh, it's fine."

In another deep flashback scene:

Grima saddles up to Eomer: Have you thought about marriage yet?

Eomer: I'm twenty-two.

Grima: You say that like it matters? Your cousin isn't being helpful and the House of Eorl doesn't make many children, on the whole, and you all drop like flies in your thirties due to being way too adrenaline addicted and prone to poor life choices. Someone. Needs. To. Make. An. Heir.

Eomer: There's plenty of time.

Cue five years later:

Grima: Theodred's dead. So sad. May Middle Earth's smallest violin play at his wake.

Eomer: I'm. hmmm. Yes. Ok, I see what you meant five years ago about us all dropping like flies in our prime.

Grima: Your father going off with too few men to fight a bunch of orcs didn't clue you in to this tendency? Literally. Your entire family's history? Just. Somehow. Didn't clue you in? But never mind, so sad, too late now though. Quick, go fight some orcs.

Eomer squints at him suspiciously.

Grima does finger guns and walks away.

-

I always end up having these things turn absurdly comedic.

anyway - not sure this was helpful! I've no idea who I would cast save that it'd be a major revamp.

thank you! <3 <3

#lotr #lord of the rings #grima wormtongue #theodred #ask #reply #anon

[middleearthpixie]

Seven Days ~ Chapter Seven

Seven Days -  Modern Tolkien AU

Firefighter Frerin Durin died in a fire set deliberately. But after he helps his brother, Thorin find happiness, Frerin is offered a second chance. He has to prove himself worthy by righting the one major wrong in his life. Otherwise, history will repeat and he will die for good this time. The catch? He has seven days in which to do this and isn’t even certain what his major wrong is.

At least, he doesn’t know for long. 

Syd Prescott has known Frerin since high school. She spent one night with him and then he vanished from her life. Now, he claims he wants to make it up to her, to right was he realizes was his major wrong. But can she trust him? And can he prove to her that she can before it’s too late? 

A/N - This story is the sequel to Miss Fortune, but is a stand alone story. 

Summary: Frerin confides in Thorin when he shows up at Frerin’s house the next morning 

Pairing: Modern!Frerin x OFC Syd Prescott

Characters: Frerin, Thorin 

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,708 

Tag List: @tschrist1 @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz @knittastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78 @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

Previous chapters can be found here.

December 6th 

Monday

Someone pounded on the front door.

Frerin lifted his head to squint at the clock. It was barely noon. 

The pounding grew louder and now Riley began barking to add to the cacophony. With a groan, Frerin rolled onto his back and sat up, then moved to the edge of the bed. More pounding. More barking. Wonderful.

He all but threw himself at the front door. “I’m here, I’m here, knock it off already. I only got in at ten this morning.”

“Yeah?” Thorin grinned at him. “What was her name?”

Frerin came fully awake at that and smiled. For Thorin, they’d seen each other only a few days ago, but for Frerin? It was the first time he could hug his brother in over six months. He flipped the lock on the storm door and slapped at the handle to open it. “Hey, come on in. I thought you were in Vermont?”

Thorin clumped into his house. “I was. Lex and I got back last night. So, who is she?”

“Who is who?”

“The woman who kept you out until ten this morning,” Thorin called over his shoulder as he made his way into the kitchen.

“It wasn’t a woman. It was work. We responded to a fire around two this morning and only got it out at dawn. We went for breakfast, got back to the station to clean everything up and I only dragged my sorry ass in at ten.”

“Here.” Thorin pressed the coffee he’d made for himself into his hands. “I just spent the last week on a ski slope. You need this more than I do.”

“Thanks.” Frerin brought the cup to his lips for a long, much-needed swallow. “So, how was it?”

“It was great. I hit twenty years and I’m retiring to Stowe to be a professional ski bum.”

“You think Alex will like that?”

“Yeah. I think she will.” Thorin took his own cup to the table and drew out a chair. He sank into it, then looked up, a frown creasing his forehead. “What’s wrong? You look different.”

“I look different?”

“Yeah. Like you’ve got something weighty on your mind.”

“Yeah, well… it’s been a busy few days for me. Not all of us get to bum around on ski slopes, you know.”

“What’s been going on?”

“T, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Let’s just leave it that it’s been busy.”

Thorin just stared at him for a long moment, and Frerin braced himself for a barrage of questions. But those questions never came. Thorin just took a sip of coffee and lowered the cup. “So, the fire? Everyone who went came back okay?”

“Yeah. It was house fire and everyone got out okay. Hopefully the family cat did, too, but like I said, I only got home at ten this morning.” He rubbed his eyes with one hand as he contemplated whether or not to tell Thorin everything that had happened over the last few days. Keeping it to himself was enough to make him wonder if maybe he was crazy—especially with the way Tori kept popping in and out on him. 

“Are you sure everything is okay, Frer?”

“Yeah… it’s fine…” He lowered his hand. “I’ve—uh—I’ve been seeing someone and it’s just… the beginning of a relationship, you know…”

“So you and Lisa are done for good?”

“Yeah. She found another dick she preferred to mine.”

“I did not need to know that.”

Frerin shrugged, draining his cup. “Yeah, well, it’s the truth. And to be honest, I’m really better off.”

“Well, tell me about the new girl, then?”

Frerin couldn’t help but smile as he got up to fix a fresh cup. “It’s Syd Prescott.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Believe it or not.”

“I believe it.” Thorin grinned. “The Prescott women are pretty tough to resist.”

“T, I’ve already been with her.” He tucked a medium roast pod into the holder and closed it, then pressed the button before adding, “And I fucked it up with her.”

“What did you do?”

“I never called her the next day.” He nodded as Thorin winced. “Yeah. But, she’s giving me another chance. So, keep your fingers crossed.”

“Damn, you sound serious, Frer. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I just… I needed a change, you know? And I’ve had a thing for Syd since freshman year. And now? Now I have the chance to fix what I screwed up and I’m going to do it.”

“Is that it?”

“What do you mean?” Frerin returned to his chair to sink into it. 

“Is that all that’s going on?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know.” Thorin shook his head, rubbing his bearded chin with one hand. “It’s just… you seem different.”

Frerin’s gut twisted. “Different how?”

“Again, I don’t know. I just—you just seem different, is all.”

“I’m tired of living the way I’ve been living, man. I had the chance to see if there was something there with Syd and I fucked it up. She’s giving me another chance and I don’t want to blow this one, T. I can’t blow it. If I do, then that’s it. No more chances.”

“So don’t blow it with her.”

“Easier said than done. I’m really good at screwing things up with her. And I don’t have a lot of time to fix them.”

He realized his mistake the moment the words left his mouth and Thorin’s brows lowered as he frowned. “What does that mean?”

“It means just that and don’t ask me to elaborate because I’m not so sure I can.”

“Frerin.” Thorin’s voice took on that protective, big brother note Frerin had heard from the time they were kids. Five years separated them and Thorin had looked out for him for as long as he could remember. “What’s going on? And don’t tell me nothing. I know you and I know when you’re trying to hide something and I know you’re doing just that. So give over and spill.”

Frerin sighed softly, tracing a small circle along the table top and when he finally looked up, it was to see Thorin staring him down with the same no nonsense expression he’d seen on their father’s face a thousand times growing up. Shaking his head, he said, “You won’t believe me if I tell you, man.”

“Try me.”

“Okay. You want to know? Here it is. If I don’t convince Syd Prescott I’m in love with her and she can trust me and love me back sometime between now and Friday night, I’m going to die. And I don’t mean metaphorically speaking, I mean, I will actually, literally die. In a fire. Right here. And the next time you see me—and you will see me, T, because I’m going to convince you to get Alex, who you will not be in a relationship with at that point, to help you solve who kills me. I’ll bring you two together next summer, but I’ll be fucking dead. A ghost, man. Mist and magic and not much else.”

Thorin just stared at him for a long, uncomfortable moment, then said, “What?”

“You heard me. This all gets undone come Friday. I’ll bring you and Alex together next summer, but I’ll be gone and I won’t get another chance, T. I have to right this. I have to fix it and win Syd or that’s it. Game over.”

“How tired are you? Because this sounds like the ramblings of a delusional whack job.”

“Yeah. I know. It’s insane and I know I sound fucking nuts. But, this is what’ll happen, okay? Sometime Friday night, someone will set this place on fire, with me in. You and Lisa will hook up for one night and I’ll keep you from drinking yourself into an early grave by forcing you and Al together.”

“Al?”

“Yeah. I call her Al.”

“No one calls her al.”

Frerin bit back an impatient sigh. “I do when I finally convince her she can see and hear me. Look, T, I know how loony this sounds, but I promise you, it will all happen. I’ll die. You’ll fuck Lisa. You’ll finally hook up with Alex and the two of you will be very happy. But I’ll be very unhappy because I’ll be very dead. But, the Big Guy is giving me this one shot to right my biggest wrong and it’s Syd. I know it is. I feel it. And I’m so close to convincing her, but I’ve only got a few days left and I won’t get this chance again.”

“Frer, are you serious? Because this is insane.”

“I know. I know it is, and I swear to you, I’m dead fucking serious. When I was given this chance, I didn't want to see you alone, so I asked the Big Guy to play a little with the timeline of your relationship with Al. I knew you wanted to ask her out last October, so I asked Him to make it so you did. And a few other things have changed. I know Lisa was cheating on me. She and I broke up and I took Syd out the other night and… we’re going out again tonight and I’m trying real hard not to freak out about how quickly Friday is coming up. But it’s coming up fast.”

“And if Syd doesn’t what… love you? Trust you? What happens?”

“I don’t know what she has to do, T. I only know what I have to do. And if it goes right, I’m here. I stay here and with her and everything is wonderful.”

“And if you don’t?”

Frerin’s gut kinked sharply and a sour taste flooded his mouth. “I die sometime Friday night. For good this time. I won’t get another chance to do this.”

He waited for Thorin to burst out laughing, to tell him how completely fucking crazy he thought Frerin was, and how he couldn't believe he expected him to believe such utter bullshit.

But to his surprise, Thorin just stared at him for a long moment. “When did you get sent back, for lack of a better word?”

“Friday. A week before.”

Thorin nodded. “Around eight, eight-thirty?”

“Yeah, I woke up like it was any other day. Why?”

“It makes sense. I had the worst nightmare about you, Frer. I dreamed you’d gone on a call and the building collapsed on you. I woke up in a cold sweat around eight o’clock and Alex thought I was having a heart attack, I was so damn sweaty and out of breath.”

“That nightmare becomes reality if I can’t convince Syd she can trust me, T. And I honestly don’t know how to convince her she can.”

“You said she’s going out with you again, right?”

“Yeah. We went and shot pool night before last and I got her to agree to come home with me and then I had an attack of conscience about rushing her into sleeping together again. I took her home and we fooled around a little, nearly got caught by her grandmother, and now here we are.”

“Ah, caught by Grandmama Prescott would not be wise.”

“You’re telling me. But damn, T, if Grandmama Prescott hadn’t been there? I’d have been begging her to have sex with me. Do you have any idea how hot she really is?”

“No. I find quiet little brunettes are more my type. I leave the redheads to you.”

Frerin smiled. “I’m in love with her, T, and I have been forever. I mean, like I want to marry her and make babies with her kind of in love with her. I’ll throw my little black book down the disposal if she’ll just… I don’t know… be mine… that sounds so stupid and so fucking corny, but I want her. And not just for sex. And I can’t even tell her that. Not yet, because she’ll think I’m fucking crazy.”

“Does she know time has been manipulated?”

“Could you just imagine her reaction if I told her that?”

“Frer, I think you need to tell her.”

“You’re insane. She’ll run like hell because she’ll think I’m batshit crazy.”

“Do you trust her?”

“What?”

“Do you trust her?”

Frerin sighed softly. “I know where you’re going, T, and this has nothing to do with trusting her. She’ll think I’m literally crazy.”

“Then I think you both need to learn to trust each other.”

“Tell me the truth, T, do you believe me?”

He waited as Thorin just stared for a long moment, and relief surged through him when Thorin nodded. “Yeah, actually. I do. And maybe that means we’re both crazy, but I can’t imagine why you’d make this up and it’s not really much in the way of a pickup line, so…”

Frerin sat back, rubbing his face with both hands before raking them through his hair. “Thank Christ for small favors.”

“But you should still tell her. Trust me, honesty is the way to go.”

“Yeah, and she thinks I’m full of shit because I’m trying to get her in bed. I can’t win with this, T, and the stakes are too high to even consider it. I tell her before she sleeps with me, and I’m a jerk because I’m trying to get her to have sex. I tell her after, and I’m an asshole for getting her in bed first.”

“And let me guess, you’re not getting any help anywhere.”

“Not a bit. I’m supposed to figure this all out on my own, but if I make a mistake… I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Trust your gut. And just be honest.” Thorin hesitated and Frerin knew what was coming next “What’s it like?”

“Being dead?”

Thorin winced even as he nodded and said, “Yeah.”

“It’s…” It was his turn to hesitate now because he wasn't entirely sure how to phrase it, mostly because he’d never thought he’d ever have to explain it. Being given this chance came as the biggest surprise ever. “It’s peaceful, T. I don’t remember crossing over, as Ma would put it, but it was like I was in a dark room, and then, I wasn’t. I was able to meet some interesting people on that side, though. And then there’s Tori.”

“Tori?”

“Get that look out of your eye. I’m not sleeping with her—if sex is a thing on that side, I haven’t figured it out yet. She’s more like… not really a mentor but a guide, I guess. She checks in on me, both here and there. She’s a nice kid. Killed in a school shooting a few years ago.”

“Jesus, Frer…”

“I know. Hey, I’ve hung out with Glenn Frey and Bowie, so it’s not all terrible. And I was able to come back and see you and Ma. Pop wasn’t too big on believing her when she’d tell him she thought I was there. And Dís just refused to acknowledge me.” He grinned at his older brother. “You didn’t, either, you big jerk. At least not at first.”

His grin faded. “You were on the verge of becoming an alcoholic as well. That’s why you slept with Lisa.”

Thorin winced. “I would never do that, Frer.”

“Yeah, you would. You did. She came over to your place with some of my stuff, you were half in the bag, next thing you knew, you were in bed with her. You came clean to me, which I appreciated—I think—and you were honest with Al, which is why I forgave you. But, you touch Syd and—”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about,” Thorin chuckled. “She’s not my type. I’ll leave her entirely for you.” He glanced down at his watch. “I’ve got to get to the station. I’m on at two. When are you seeing Syd again?”

“Tonight. So do not come knocking on my door any time tomorrow, got it?”

“You’re optimistic. Or horny.”

“I’m both, man. She got off but I got shut down.” At Thorin’s wince, Frerin nodded. “Yeah. But it’s okay. I really didn't mind it all that much, once the discomfort went away.”

“That’s the worst, man.”

“Tell me about it.”

#Gerard Butler #Frerin Durin #Richard Armitage #The Hobbit #Thorin Oakenshield #Hobbit Fic #Hobbit Fanfic #Fan fiction #The Hobbit fan fiction #Frerin x OC #AU #Frerin Fic #Is it hot in here? #Romance #Modern AU

[ratcatcher0325]

19

Alexander

Greetings, Anon. Question 19? Let's have a look... I suppose it's pointless to keep mentioning you've neglected to include the question in the ask, hm? Since you people keep doing it without a care in the world. So.... Thank you for the exercise? Although, now with my stylus in hand, it's a much less painful experience.

19. Describe an average day in your life.

Well my answer varies wildly depending on if we're talking the last twenty years or this recent set of circumstances I find myself in. I suppose I will supply you with both in the hopes that it will satiate your curiosity?

Since falling into the old man's 'care', if one can even call it that, at age ten, most of my days looked remarkably indistinct, one blurring into the other. I was expected to report to him at 5 o'clock sharp, dressed and ready to begin working. In the beginning, he was in the frustrating position of teaching me how to do these things to his expectations which meant a lot of trial and error on my part and a great deal of irritation on his. I picked up reading quickly enough, it helped that I'd had a head start from before I'd even met the old man. Reading sort of became my job, but it was also my escape. In my early years, before I started working on my case in secret, I would read anything I could get my hands on when the old man was away. Consuming the works of Homer, Tolkien, Austen, Shakespeare, Steinbeck and Angelou truly expanded my horizons beyond the four walls I was trapped in.

Sorry, got off on a tangent, there, didn't I? Anyway. Yes, my day would start at 5 am and depending upon the work that needed to be done, I could be working until 10 or 11 at night, until my legs shook and my voice cracked with exhaustion. Or, other days, he would have back to back consultations and meetings (the entire time I knew him, he took house calls, rather than commuting to an office) and on those days I would mostly spend my time in the pitch darkness, tossed in some drawer or cigar box or some other hiding place so I wouldn't put any of his clients in a state of uneasiness. It used to scare me quite a bit as a child, but the more I got used to it, the more I learned to find the silver lining of the time to let my mind wander freely.

The moment the old man went to bed, which was earlier and earlier toward the end, I would set about my own work, researching and gathering as much information as I could. Then, I'd sleep for a few hours at most and be back at it the next day. I wouldn't say my lifestyle then was at all sustainable and strongly suggest against it.

Nowadays, the pace of things is quite different. I make it a point to rise by 8 am at the latest, so as not to waste the day, and find I often have to fight Natalie to agree with me. She is decidedly not a morning person, Anon, which I find rather infuriating. Whatever happened to carpe diem? Anyway, she makes up for it, a bit, by always insisting on a well rounded breakfast for me. Even if she is subsisting on coffee and a protein shake, she always makes me something fresh, before leaving for the day, which is very generous of her. Lately, I've been spending most of my time just trying to rest and heal from the nightmare that was my surgery, but my dearest hope is soon I will feel well enough to return to my research, and this time with the internet at my fingertips! What a thrilling thought!

I am certain I have now droned on far longer than is interesting or necessary but.... there you are.

Thank you for your ask!

Yours Truly,

Alexander

[nightttdreamers]

Night Shift | Craig x Kenny

first chapter of my new crenny fic! yeah its a fake dating AU but it’s going to be super fun and just the right amount of cheesy. very excited to share!

AO3 Link | 4k words | Chapter 1/? | Chapter 2

“Hey, McCormick,” Craig says. “You’ll do anything for a buck, right?”

Kenny cocks his head at the question. “What? I mean, it depends. But, kinda, yeah.”

Craig takes a deep breath before he asks, “You wanna be my boyfriend?”

Craig switched to the night shift.

It wasn’t hard, because no one wants the night shift at a 24 hour convenience store. When his manager, a greasy twenty-six year-old, asked him why, Craig just said he wanted time after school for extracurriculars. It was the same excuse he told his parents, who, instead of wondering why their son wanted to work from 9:00PM to 2:00AM, just said, “You do extracurriculars?”

Tolkien, Clyde, and Jimmy didn’t believe that excuse however, so he told them that he’d be making more money instead, which seemed to work.

Thankfully, nobody asked further than that.

It’s not too bad. Craig hates customers and he sees them way less than he did when he was working after school. He just sits behind the counter, plays games on his phone, does the occasional bit of homework, and tries not to think. Recently, he’s been testing the limits of the security cameras, trying to figure out blind spots. Not because he cares if people steal, of course, he couldn’t give less of a fuck. It’s just something to keep him occupied until the five hours run out.

He’s been on the night shift for over two weeks now, and he’s gotten used to the routine. He knows the students that come in after football games before they head off to their parties he’s not invited to. He knows which truck drivers will let him bum a cigarette from the packs they buy. And he knows that after midnight the store is completely dead.

Except this particular night, apparently. At one in the morning, the door opens. Craig looks up from his phone, first seeing a flash of blonde hair that makes his heart sink. But, then the blonde turns around and Craig has to hide the relief on his face.

“Craig Tucker?”

Kenny says his name with a strange familiarity, like he’s reuniting with an old friend instead of a classmate he barely speaks to. He’s not wearing that stupid traffic cone-colored parka he always has on, but instead a beat-up denim jacket, which is why Craig almost had him mistaken at first. 

“Yeah?” Craig responds, raising his brows. The last thing he wants to do right now is talk to anyone from school. At least it's Kenny and not any of his idiot friends. Craig classifies Kenny as a low-level dumbass, somewhat harmless, while Stan and the others are Certified Douchebags.

“When did you start working here?” Kenny asks, stepping up to the counter.

Fuck, he wants a conversation. “I don’t know, a while ago,” Craig replies.

“But where’s the usual night shift guy? Are you covering for him?” Kenny leans over the counter a bit while he speaks, which is a little too close for comfort. Craig avoids his eyes, instead looking down at what appears to be a spot of dried blood on his white t-shirt.

“Are you bleeding?” He asks.

“Probably. Did you trade shifts with the other guy? Me and him were just starting to become pals, you know?” Kenny’s bright eyes are bouncing around everywhere as he leans back again, glancing over candy bars and cigarette cartons and five-hour energy drinks on the counter. His general enthusiasm is making Craig feel more exhausted. He wonders if the blonde is on something. He’s heard some shit about what Kenny does when he’s missing school.

“I switched shifts like two weeks ago,” Craig replies, still looking at the blood stain, which actually looks a bit fresh in the light.

“Uh-huh, got it,” Kenny nods, finally leaving the counter to look through the aisles. Craig lets out a sigh, picking up his phone again to return to his game. After a minute or so, Kenny pipes up from the chip aisle. “Hey, didn’t you and Tweek break up two weeks ago?”

Craig grips his phone, looking up at Kenny who seems to be really interested in a bag of chips right now. “Why do you care?” It’s a genuine question, but Craig still tries to sound nonchalant when he asks it.

“‘Cause gossip is fun? I dunno,” the other responds flippantly, moving on to a bag of pretzels instead. He’s turned away now, moving further down the aisle, unaware that Craig is staring daggers at him. “I heard he dumped you in the parking lot and you got so mad you smashed a car window, then got in-school-suspension for two days.”

Craig slams his phone down on the counter, but Kenny doesn’t even flinch, simply turning back to him with an innocent expression.

“What?” The other asks. “Bebe told me that she saw the whole thing.”

“She-” Craig begins, nearly raising his voice. He cuts himself off, however, gritting his teeth for a moment. “Bebe is a fucking liar.”

Kenny seems to think about this accusation before responding. “Yeah, I didn’t really believe her,” he says, then ducks into another aisle. With Kenny out of sight, Craig deflates, running a hand through his hair. He’s no stranger to gossip in South Park, in fact he might be a veteran, but it’s been a while since someone regurgitated some bullshit they heard to his face. He can’t even be too mad, considering he’s talked plenty about every other breakup in their school- Stan and Wendy, Tolkien and Wendy, Tolkien and Nichole, Nichole and Kyle, in their small school, other people’s drama is prime entertainment.

The part of it that pisses him off isn’t that people are spreading rumors about the breakup. It’s the fact that, across every untrue story, people still know that it was Tweek who dumped Craig .

Kenny drops a 6-pack of beer on the counter and Craig is so preoccupied with his thoughts that he nearly rings it up before realizing what the item is. “Is this a joke?” Craig asks, looking back up at Kenny.

“Is what a joke?” The other asks, idly picking at his lower lip with his thumb. He pulls back the skin slightly, flashing a missing tooth, though it doesn’t look like he’s even aware of what he’s doing.

“Do you seriously think I’m going to let you buy this?” He says flatly. Kenny gives him a confused look, like he sincerely doesn’t know why Craig won’t check him out. “You’re not 21 McCormick, fuck off.”

“Are you sure about that?” Kenny asks, shuffling around in his pocket before pulling out a wad of cards and cash, held together by a rubber band. He slides a card out and places it on the counter, right in front of Craig.

It’s just about the worst fake ID he’s ever seen. It’s from Wyoming, the man in the picture barely resembles Kenny except for the blonde hair, and the text is chipping in certain places. Craig picks it up, bending the card just to see how flimsy it is.

Kenny is leaning on the counter again, wearing that stupid grin he always seems to sport as he watches Craig. “So, you’re twenty-seven,” Craig deadpans.

“Yes, sir,” Kenny chirps, eyeing the nicotine products. “And a pack of camels too,” he says, then adds, “Please.”

Craig sighs, putting the ID back on the counter. “I’m not selling you anything, McCormick.”

Kenny’s smile falters, though he tries to keep it up as his hand moves from his mouth to the back of his neck, anxiously rubbing it. “Come on, man. The other night guy always took my ID. You can ask him, too. He never even got in trouble for it.” Craig simply stares at him, eyes narrow. His shift ends in less than an hour, he just wants to go home and ignore everyone, not deal with an idiot like Kenny. “Craig,” Kenny says, almost whining . “Do me a solid, I’m not even gonna drink it. It’s for my dad and he’ll get pissed, okay?”

It’s not like Craig really cares about Kenny enough to look into his personal life, but it’s impossible not to know that he doesn’t have it easy at home. And maybe it’s because he’s sleep deprived, or he just wants Kenny to leave already, but Craig grabs the Camels. “Whatever.”

Kenny grins now, somehow even wider than before, as he drums his fingers on the counter. “I knew you were a good guy. You know, everyone thinks you’re an asshole, but I knew you weren’t.”

Craig scans each item, trying to convince himself that this isn’t a terrible idea. “I am an asshole,” he says. “And that’s $17.02”

Once again, Kenny flips through his rubber-band wad and pulls out a twenty. Instead of just handing it over, he places it on the counter, then slowly slides it to Craig. “Keep the change.”

Craig, unamused, takes the bill, glancing up at Kenny. “Really?”

“Hell no,” Kenny says with a laugh, grabbing his change once Craig puts it on the counter. He pauses, then leaves three dimes on the table. “There, you can keep that change.”

“I’ll try not to spend it all in one place,” he says, turning back to the cash register. Kenny picks up his items, but lingers by the counter, and Craig can feel his blue eyes on him. “What? Do you want a receipt or something?”

“So it’s true, then?” Kenny asks. Then, when Craig gives him a confused look, he says, “You and Tweek broke up?”

“Do you really want to push your luck with me right now, McCormick?” Craig asks, hopefully in a threatening enough voice that Kenny gets the message.

Instead, the blonde just laughs like this is some inside joke between the two of them and heads out the door, throwing a wave back at Craig as he exits.

In the wake of Kenny McCormick, the store feels almost eerily quiet, rather than the peaceful stillness that it was before. Still, Craig exhales, grateful that the entire interaction is over. He returns to his mindless phone game and tries not to think about Tweek or Kenny or even stupid Bebe spreading rumors about him.

School had been more annoying than usual. He and Tweek entered their senior year together, how was Craig supposed to know they wouldn’t finish it like that? Their schedules overlapped for three periods: History, calculus, and lunch. In class, he and Tweek always sat next to each other, so it wasn’t too difficult to just sit in the back instead, though some people were pissed that their unofficial seating chart had been messed with after three months of peace. He’d sit with the goths or the ugly kids and ignore the twitchy blonde across the room, constantly pretending that he wasn’t just staring when Tweek would catch his wayward glances.

Lunch, however, was more difficult. In the first few days, he avoided the cafeteria entirely, opting to eat alone in his car instead. Sure, if someone saw him it would be social suicide, but that would be better than sitting with his ex-boyfriend. By the end of the first week, Clyde had called him on the verge of tears, begging his best friend to come back and sit with them. Apparently, Tweek had started eating lunch in the art room instead, something that he told Clyde that he had texted Craig. What neither of them knew, however, was that Craig had blocked Tweek’s number the day they broke up.

So, he went back to eating lunch with his friends. Tolkien and Clyde sitting across from him, and Jimmy on his side, leaving an odd space as if Tweek is going to come and sit between them like he usually does. There’s a certain stiffness at the table that certainly wasn’t there before, and Craig understands that it’s probably his fault. He’s caused a few awkward moments when they’ve tried to ask about Tweek by quickly dropping the subject or just ignoring it entirely. Even their attempts to talk to him about anything at all are unsuccessful, as Craig is much more interested in staring silently at his food while he counts the minutes until lunch is over.

Today, he once again brings an uncomfortable energy to the lunch table. However, instead of fixating on his shitty meal, he’s looking right at Clyde. He didn’t want to linger on the rumor Kenny had told him the other night, but he couldn’t help it. Did Clyde tell Bebe about what happened and she decided to make up a more interesting story? Or did Bebe tell him what she “saw” and Clyde simply believed her? 

“What’s up, Craig?” Clyde asks, knitting his brows together. The two have made eye contact a few times over the last few minutes, but this is the first time Clyde hasn’t immediately looked away. The others at the table turn their attention to the two, feeling the tension.

“Clyde, when you and Bebe go out, do you guys just sit around and talk about my love life?” Craig asks. It comes out a bit harsher than he intends, but he’s always been one to be straightforward.

Clyde just gives him a confused look, then Craig watches the subsequent realization and fear come across his face. “What?”

“I heard a really interesting story from your girlfriend about how I got dumped, then broke a car window and got ISS,” Craig replies. “So I just wanted to know, do you guys sit and talk about my love life all the time, or just sometimes?”

“Wait, I thought t-t-that you tried to set f-fire to the car?” Jimmy says, which earns him a death glare from Craig.

“Don’t be mad,” Clyde whines, giving his friend a nervous smile. “It was just a rumor, I didn’t even believe her when she told me! I actually walked past the ISS room just to look for you.”

“So you do sit around and lie about my personal life,” Craig says, narrowing his eyes at Clyde. He then turns to Jimmy. “And you too? Tolkien, do you have any stories about my life I haven’t heard yet?” 

Tolkien, not as easily goaded into drama as Clyde, just shrugs. “Everyone was talking about it, man.”

Craig exhales, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And none of you just asked me?”

“We tried!” Clyde exclaims, earning a few hums of agreement from the rest of the group. 

“You didn’t really want to talk about it when we asked,” Tolkien adds.

Craig presses his lips together in a firm line. He can’t really argue with that. In the days after the break up, he didn’t have in-school suspension, he just faked a cold and stayed home, giving him plenty of time to just think about all of the things that would be different now. Besides the obvious, giant void in his life that Tweek left behind, there was also the issue of their mutual friends, which neither of them would want to lose. Craig knew that Tweek had forfeited lunch, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t in contact with their friends at all. The last thing Craig wanted was to make anyone choose sides.

To him, it felt like it would be in everyone’s best interest if he just left his friends out of it.

“Well, none of that stuff is true,” Craig mumbles, pushing the food on his tray around with his fork.

“So you d-didn’t set a car on fire?” Jimmy asks, scooting a bit closer to Craig.

“Or break the window?” Clyde adds.

“No,” Craig says flatly, rolling his eyes.

“And you didn’t get ISS?” Tolkien asks.

“No.”

“And Tweek didn’t break up with you?” Clyde asks, almost sounding hopeful.

Craig grips his fork tightly, staring down at the table. He pushes the tray of food away from himself, looking back up at three sets of curious eyes. “That’s- Yeah, he did.”

“Really? Like, he dumped you ?” Clyde doesn’t even try to hide the disbelief in his voice. Tolkien elbows him in the side at the comment, shooting Clyde a glare before turning to Craig with a sympathetic look.

“That sucks, man. I’m sorry,” he says, and Craig wants to crawl into his hoodie and never be seen again.

“It’s whatever,” Craig says, once again looking back down at the table. “I just don’t get why everyone thinks that I’m the one who got dumped.” 

The rest of the boys exchange glances, and Craig hates the silent debate they seem to be having over his head. “C-c-can I be honest with you for a second, p-pal?” Jimmy finally says, reaching up to put a hand on Craig’s shoulder.

“Go ahead,” Craig replies.

“In a b-b-breakup, there’s usually a winner, a-and a loser,” he begins, and Craig has a bad feeling that he knows where this is going. “Usually, the p-person who dumps the other is the w-w-winner.”

“What makes you guys think I’m not the winner?” Craig asks, looking between his friends. Once again, no one seems to want to answer.

“W-well, Craig, you k-k-kind of look like shit,” Jimmy finally says.

Craig scoots back from him, rolling the other’s hand off his shoulder. “Fuck off, Jimmy.” 

“He’s only saying that because we’re worried about you,” Tolkien says. “You barely talk to anyone, you always have your headphones in, plus now that you have the stupid night shift, basically no one has seen you outside of school.”

“We’re totally here for you, dude,” Clyde says, nodding in agreement. “Breakups are so hard, especially for the loser.”

“Thanks, Clyde,” Craig says flatly, moving to pick up his backpack.

Clyde winces at the remark. “I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t leave, man, you can talk to us!”

Craig stands, sliding his backpack over his shoulders. There’s still twenty minutes left in the period, but if he sits there any longer he might just explode. 

“W-w-we don’t think of you like that, C-Craig,” Jimmy adds, and Craig knows that he’s being sincere. If his friends think he’s handling the breakup badly, that’s okay with him. What’s not okay is that, apparently, Tweek is walking around doing just fine without him.

“It’s fine, I don’t care,” Craig says, picking up his tray. “You can all think what you want, okay? I’m fine. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

He can hear his friends calling his name, but Craig is already walking away from the table, trying not to be so aware of everyone’s eyes on him as he storms out of the lunchroom.

As he walks away from the table, he can hear his friends call his name, but it’s too late. Craig spends the rest of lunch alone under the bleachers, smoking a cigarette while his headphones blast Radiohead, acutely aware that he really does look like a loser.

Days later, he’s still thinking about it. Craig stands in the snack aisle, restocking the instant noodles, while it repeats like a mantra in his head; Tweek won, you lost.

It’s now been almost three weeks since the breakup. Three weeks of staring at the other’s blocked contact in his phone, deleting shared playlists, and aimlessly scrolling through old photos like he’ll find something he missed before, something that explains why . When they had their last conversation, Tweek had said “I think we both knew this was going to happen,” and all Craig could say in response was “What are you talking about?”

He looks down at the cup noodles in his hand. Suddenly, just lifting his arm to put it on the shelf feels like the hardest task in the world.

“I really don’t think that’s the best flavor choice,” pipes up a voice from beside him, and Craig jolts upright, turning to the stranger.

Kenny is standing at the end of the aisle in his dirty orange parka, hands shoved in his pocket, wearing the shit-eating grin he always has on.

“When did you get here?” Craig asks, letting his shoulders relax as he returns to his restock. He keeps his face down, hoping that Kenny didn’t see his momentary existential crisis just then.

“Like, a minute ago. Did you not hear the bell when I came in?” Kenny steps closer, peering over Craig’s shoulder at the products. “I guess not, you seemed pretty into these noodles. But, I gotta say, I think shrimp’s the worst flavor. Not that I know what real shrimp would taste like, but the cup noodle flavor is just too fake.”

Craig’s barely listening, trying to finish quickly. He just wants to go back behind the counter where he’s safe because Kenny is way too close to him right now. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he says, turning to walk away from the other.

Kenny, however, follows right behind him. “Have you ever made ramen chips? You just put the seasoning in the bag then you crush the ramen up and eat it like that. Like, no need for hot water or anything. My brother and I used to make it all the time. It’s just like chips, it’s pretty good.”

“Mhm,” he hums. Luckily, Kenny isn’t facing him, or he’d see the grimace on Craig’s face right now. The dark-haired boy steps behind the counter, finally separating himself from Kenny, dropping the empty ramen box on the floor beside him. 

“What did you think of the chem quiz today?” Kenny asks, flipping through the magazine rack.

The question catches him off-guard, and it takes Craig a second to realize that, oh yeah , Kenny is in his chemistry class. The blonde usually hides himself away in the back corner if he even attends class at all. “It was fine, I guess.”

Kenny nods. “Yeah, I think all this gas stuff has been tripping me up. I pretty much bullshitted the last page, but I think Mrs. Dawson wants to fuck me so I’ll probably be okay. I swear, every time she goes to help Kevin Stoley with a problem, she bends over right in front of me so I can see her ass. Like, it’s totally on purpose.”

“Are you here to buy something or just talk about random shit?” Craig asks. 

Kenny doesn't respond at first, and Craig can see the way his smile falters, how he stops flipping through the magazines for a second. When he looks up, his expression is sheepish, and Craig feels like an asshole.

“Sorry,” Kenny finally says. “I’m rambling, right? I’m kinda high, the guys always get annoyed at how much I talk when I smoke.”

He’s never been great at reading people, but it’s pretty obvious he just hit one of Kenny’s nerves. Before he can really think about it, he finds himself saying, “No, I’m sorry.” Both boys look surprised at the apology, and Craig figures he’d better explain himself. “You’re fine, I’m just tired and it’s been a shit day.”

Kenny’s expression softens, and Craig feels a bit lighter. “It’s okay,” he says. “I can’t blame you, dude. I guess you heard about Tweek, huh?”

The air in the room stills for a second as the two exchange a panicked glance.

“Shit, I shouldn’t have-” Kenny starts.

“What about Tweek?” Craig cuts him off, but Kenny keeps talking.

“I’m high, I’m rambling, just forget about it. Fuck.”

“Kenny,” Craig says, watching as the other mutters to himself, shaking his head. “Kenny!” He repeats, louder this time.

“It’s nothing,” Kenny says, but the high pitch of his voice tells Craig it’s definitely not nothing. “It’s a rumor, total bullshit.”

Craig sighs, knowing he probably shouldn’t ask. But he already lies awake at night thinking about what Tweek’s doing without him, he might as well lie awake knowing what his ex is up to. “Just tell me.”

Kenny gnaws on his lip for a second, nervously picking at the hem of his jacket before he speaks. “Don’t shoot the messenger, okay? But there was this thing at the skate park a few days ago and I heard that Tweek showed up with Pete Thelman.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Craig exclaims, causing Kenny to flinch.

“I said don’t shoot the messenger!” Kenny says, raising his hands defensively. “All I heard was that they were there together, it’s literally nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Craig barely hears the other, already feeling a pit in his chest starting to form. He wants to bash his head against the counter or trash the entire convenience store. But, he also wants to curl up on the floor and never be seen again. While he’s wasting away every day in the back of his classes, or locked in his room, or working the worst job at a near-empty store, Tweek is okay. Of course everyone knows he got dumped, apparently his ex is already moving on.

“Craig, are you good?” Kenny asks, leaning over the counter a bit. “Should I like, call someone?”

For the last few weeks, Craig has felt like there was a hole inside him, slowly growing to consume every part of his life. But, right now, something feels different. Even if it is a bullshit rumor, hearing about Tweek like this is sparking something in him.

He’s fucking pissed.

“Hey, McCormick,” Craig says. “You’ll do anything for a buck, right?”

Kenny cocks his head at the question. “What? I mean, it depends. But, kinda, yeah.”

Craig takes a deep breath before he asks, “You wanna be my boyfriend?”

#south park #fanfiction #crenny #Craig Tucker #kenny mccormick #craig tucker x kenny mccormick #fic #fake dating #im so excited for this fic hehehehe