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#though not so much bc i expect criticism or fear it. and more bc i expect to get yelled at for being too slow to pick it up or respond
helluva-shit-show · 7 months
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So I was re-watching "Oops" grabbing some screenshots for a different rant when it occurred to me, damn, Striker really should not have been in this episode. I know it's not a hot-take, lots of ppl have said this already, but I mean even for the way the writers want the show to go, right down to tone, they really botched an opportunity. I'll let someone else talk about how Striker working with Crimson makes both antagonists so much less intimidating, right now I'm just gonna focus on the narrative so far, and unfortunately for a lot of critics of the main ship it's pushing, this will have a lot to do with Stolitz.
So when we first meet Striker, it's in "The Harvest Moon Festival". The episode starts with Stolas inviting Blitz and the gang to be his royal guests at said festival. Blitz makes him promise it's neither murder work nor a sex thing and Stolas agrees. This is (to the audience's knowledge) the first time Stolas has invited Blitz out to be seen together publicly without any strings attached. He's not being bought, he's not acting as a bodyguard, and he's not expected to bang anyone at the end of the day.
Blitz meets Striker, Striker boosts up Blitz's ego immediately, they enter the pain games together, split the win, have a general good time, and at some point off screen, Blitz offers Striker a job at I.M.P.
And then Blitz catches Striker trying to kill Stolas. He's pissed, but not as pissed as he gets when Striker almost causes him to shoot Moxxie.
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Blitz bites the man and puts a hole through the wall during the fight. They really go at it, it's a pretty intense fight, and you can really feel the rage in Blitz during it.
Putting a pin in Stiker for a minute, let's skip to the next episode, "Truth Seekers" we get a peek into Blitz's headspace surrounding Stolas. He feels chained to Stolas, but through his expressions during the staircase climb, it feels like he wants it to be more than just transactional. Well, at the least, hopes it can be more. Stolas swoops in at the end of the episode and (not without belittling Blitz verbally) saves Blitz and the people he most cares about. And then Stolas asks for a "reward". This 100% highlights Blitz's torn feelings. Does he let himself believe the care is real, or is it just for sex at the end? Well...
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He got his answer didn't he? Stolas doesn't stand up to Ozzie for him. He doesn't make a clear statement that Blitz is more than just a cheap lay. And that hurts.
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At the end of the night Blitz can barely get the words out to set a boundary for himself.
The next time we see these two interact is in "Seeing Stars". Do we get to see the resolve of the night at Ozzie's? Nope. But something has clearly changed since then, bc not only does Blitz show genuine concern for Stolas and try to reassure him, at one point, briefly, he's even receptive to Stolas's flirting again.
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Two episodes later, Striker is back. Blitz very much so has complicated feelings surrounding Stolas at this point, but he shows not just concern, but both fear and rage again at the thought of Striker harming Stolas.
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One could definitely argue at this point that this is about his means to continue his business and source of income and that of his employees, but there is something to be said about him almost cancelling Loona's doctor appointment to go save the rotten owl. Loona is always Blitz's first priority, and though a single vaccine might seem small in comparison to a life, if it really took five years for an appointment, that could be his daughter's life as well, assuming "hellbies" is just rabies but it's in hell. He thought about it. He was ready to turn the car around when Millie and Moxxie stepped in.
And even though Striker got majorly character assassinated in the episode, he tore up Stolas really bad. Him and his angelic weapons do carry real stakes with them, however much they want to make him a joke character. (Again, such a waste of potential)
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With the narrative we know the writers are going with, Blitz does care about Stolas. The realization he can get hurt is probably shocking and terrifying to Blitz. He'd probably both be angry with himself for not going, but getting to the original point, he'd probably be furious at Striker.
Now I know Helluva has a huge tone issue. Is it a comedy? A lot of the time, yeah. Is it a drama? There's definitely drama in it. Romance? Highly debatable. Horror? I mean, it does take place in literal hell, so. Action? It's mixed in there too.
Personally though, I would like to think that the next time Blitz saw Striker, he'd tear him to shreds. I'd think the tone would be on the more serious side. He's hurt Millie and Moxxie very badly in Harvest Moon, he's hurt Stolas to the point he was hospitalized, that's three of the four people Blitz is currently close with. Narratively speaking, Striker could easily be Blitz's main external antagonist. It works both from a more action based tone, but also if you want to push Stolitz, which we know they do. And yet...
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He's just an irritation for Blitz.
He didn't need to be there, it could have just been Crimson and his sharks. Would it have felt weird having him be a stand alone villain again just 3 episodes after he was first introduced, sure. But not any weirder than Stella's personal hitman looking for work in Greed and just happening to find it with said Mafia boss.
I know this was a Blitz/Fizz episode, I get that, I'm not complaining about that, hell, it literally could have been just them figuring their shit out together. But that just makes it even more glaring that Striker shouldn't have been there. This wasn't about him, this wasn't for him.
He's cowboy themed, right? And he's given Blitz plenty of reason to beat the absolute shit out of him? After hurting Stolas like that, (narratively speaking) his next showdown with Blitz should have been some high noon duel shit. Blitz rocked the vest in Harvest Moon, just give him the duel revolvers and start counting steps.
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menalez · 2 months
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Im thinking you might get anons or comments saying “why did you do something????” Meaning cause a scene or protest or go graffiti their shit or something like that. Boo him. Walk out in a big group flipping the bird, shout “women don’t have dicks” or smthn. And the thing is I thought all of that but caught myself. I’m just having a fight or flight response reading about being in a “lesbian event” with 25+ males present including one on stage. Thing is if I were in that situation I would probably think twice too. Men kill women for less pushback and you were not expecting or prepared for this. If anyone is feeling that they would have done more — look up events in your area. You will likely find one you can go disrupt however you want that claims to be lesbian but is male including. That will get it done 1000% more than fantasizing or armchair criticizing online. Go in prepared though and I think graffiti is the best bet for something that gets the dissent in the open but doesn’t open you to direct attack.
At the same time we can and should organize and control our own events.
yeah i mean i thought there’d be males present bc the event organisers basically made them explicitly welcome anyways :/ just not in the way i saw them there. but like at the end of the day, lesbians get attacked & ostracised & harassed for less in our own spaces nowadays. one lesbian bar was literally vandalised because they didn’t let an obvious man in (& that obvious man identified as ~nonbinary~). i’ve been to that lesbian (“FLINTA”) bar before and there were actually a lot of guys (maybe like 10-15 men, most gender-conforming and seem very much straight) so i had to wonder how extremely male that guy had to be to not be let in. and still TRAs vandalised it, are calling for a boycott, & are trying to get it closed down.
i’d love to be a super brave woman with no fear of consequences who boos a man while surrounded by several men and many women who are cheering for it and risks getting kicked out of the event i had to spend money to even be a part of, potentially get physically assaulted, and perhaps never be allowed to lesbian bars & events in the area again bc of it but like. easier said than done. i was visibly disgusted & hating on it with my gf but i cant pretend i would’ve been able to do more in that situation
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theaudacitytowrite · 1 year
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Innovative never been done before idea : Morpheus finally going to fucking therapy
😂😂😂😂 I love this so much! Thank you for the request 😘
It turned more into Dream fighting against it (bc he would, let's be honest) 😬
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The soft scraping of paper being dragged over wood diverted Dream's attention from the book he was combing through. His gaze immediately caught yours, observing you closely.
"What's this, Y/N?" Dream turned up his nose at the thin sheet of paper you had dragged over his desk towards him.
"It's a voucher," you replied quickly, already turning on your heel to leave.
"For what?" Dream inquired sceptically, not even casting a single glance to further inspect the crease-free paper.
"For a specialist."
"Of what kind?" he hummed without skipping a beat.
"For the mind." you couldn't help the sarcastic tone accompanying your voice. Dream crooked his eyebrow, critically eyeing you up and down again.
"What are you insinuating?" he huff ed.
"Nothing." you quickly replied, your hands flying up in a defensive gesture, "I just thought it might be beneficial if you could talk with a professional about all of the 'things' that have happened over the last couple of centuries. Without the fear of getting judged or the bad feeling that someone might use the information they gain to plot against you."
Silence fell over the room as Dream stared directly into your eyes. His lips were pursed tightly. 
"I don't see why I would need therapy." he finally rasped, his gaze falling back to the book. 
"You can't be for real right now!" you threw your hands up in the air.
"I am in fact 'for real'." a sly smirk scurries over his lips while he didn't bother to look at you, demonstratively turning a page. But his sly expression vanished as quickly as it had appeared. His usual expressionless face returned before he continued, "Tell me, why would I even need therapy?"
"You're really asking me this and expect that my response won't insult you?" you crossed your arms in front of your chest, "I know how petty you can be, my Lord." you drawled sarcastically.
Dream chuckled deeply as he slowly raised from his chair, his hands propped up on the table as he towered over you.
"I won't be. I promise... at least this time," he replied with a dark timber in his voice, eliciting involuntary goosebumps to erupt over your skin.
"Well... where would I even begin?" you tried to sound challenging but your sudden braveness left quickly again. You swallowed thickly as your gaze fell to the floor, "I guess I just want you to be able to get everything off your chest for once. So you don't have to suffer in silence anymore." you admitted meekly, your fingers nervously picking on your hands. Dream inclined his head, surprised by your sudden change in demeanour.
"I see this is a topic that is important to you."  he rasped softly. With gentle steps he walked around his desk, approaching you.
"Well, yeah. Because you are important to me." Dream gently hooked his index finger under your chin, his thumb resting on top of it, smoothly lifting your chin so he could look into your eyes.
"Would you feel better if I redeem your piece of paper?" he hummed. 
"Most definitely." you nodded with hopeful eyes. Dream answered with a dramatic sigh.
"Ok." he nodded.
"Ok?" your face lit up at the two simple letters.
"I will do one session with your so-called professional." Dream confirmed. A squeal escaped your lungs as you fell around his neck, peppering his cheeks with soft kisses.
"But only because I appreciate your gesture and just this once. Don't believe this will be a recurring occurrence." he huffed annoyed even though his heart was fluttering in his chest.
"Of course not," you assured him with a tight squeeze as you hid your grin against his shirt.
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Taglist: @leucoratia @kellatron55 @poetic-fiasco @vbecker10 @xwhiteoleanderx @nobody1390-24 @gigglingtigger @mochie85 @sititran @dreaming-about-fanfictions @msturi2u
Divider by: @delishlydelightfuldividers
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nervousgardenerkid · 2 years
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no thoughts, head empty, just making fun of movies with steve!
my aunt is actually a film professor so i’ve watched loads of movies with her professional (tm) critics and have picked up on a few film tricks myself so i think it’d be fun to watch a movie with steve and just be ranting about how terrible it is and what they should’ve done instead and steve just looking at you like you’re the smartest person in the world and hanging onto your every word.
bonus points if you guys aren’t together and robin’s just there like “you guys aren’t dating so why do i feel like a third wheel?”
Rotten Tomatoes
a/n: okay,,ngl i actually like this more than i thought i would😭 there's LOTS of dialogue but i think it's bc i'm naturally chatty so i made them chatty LMAO i hope you enjoy it! credit to the gif owner <3
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Steve let out a loud booooo, as the credits for breakfast club began to roll.
“Steve shut up! It was a good movie!”
Robin nodded her head and then turned her attention towards you.
“I can't believe this is your first time watching it.”
“First and last time, I'm never going to let them sit through a movie that cheesy ever again.”
You rolled your eyes and threw popcorn at Steve causing him to mumble out hey and then eat it.
“I thought it was a good movie!”
Robin leaned back into the sofa and propped her feet on your legs.
“The group therapy scene always gets me.”
You popped a piece of candy in your mouth and smiled at her.
“Molly Ringwald is an artist.”
“I've seen better,” Steve said while throwing an arm around you.
“Ferris Buller’s day off isn't better than this! This is a classic!”
You leaned into Steve and watched in amusement as he and Robin bickered back and forth over which movie was better.
“Whatever, the whole thing is totally unreal.”
Robin let out a laugh. “Oh please, you know damn well it's the realest movie there is! Y/n, back me up here!”
You let out a sigh and looked up at Steve.
“Sorry Stevie, but I'm with Robin on this one.”
“Ha!” Robin said while throwing her hands up in victory.
“Well, we all stayed friends, right? I mean like after we saved the world. We didn't drift apart or anything, if anything we got closer!”
“Saving the world is different from detention, Steve.”
Steve‘s fingers interlocked with yours and he pulled you closer to him.
“Yeah well, I’d still stay friends with you guys.”
“No Steve,” robin started. “We’re friends. You and y/n are in love, you're both just too blind to see it.”
You felt your face get warm and Steve's body tense. You and Steve both knew you had feelings for each other, hell you both talked about it at one point. The fear of pain and rejection was strong though, it led to dates being just hangouts with your friends.
“What are you talking about?” you nervously laughed out.
Robin stood from her spot and shook her head. “Please just confess so I can be a proper third wheel. No more tension, I swear all of Hawkins can feel it.”
“Wait, where are you going?” Steve asked when he saw her walking away from the couch.
“I need to pee, when I come back I expect to see a happy couple.”
You and Steve sat in awkward silence for a while before you spoke up.
“She's right, you know.”
“Yeah, I know she is.”
You sat up and turned your body towards Steve so that you could give him your full attention.
“Would you date me if you were still popular?”
“Are you really trying to breakfast club me right now?” Steve said while laughing.
You shrugged your shoulders and smiled at him. “Maybe.”
“Yeah? Gonna give me your earring too?”
You rolled your eyes. “Funny, you think you're Bender when it's clearly Munson.”
Steve put a hand on his heart. “You wound me, truly you do. Who has great hair like him?”
“Eddie does.”
“Fine then, go date Eddie.”
You shook your head enjoying the teasing you were doing with Steve.
“Would much rather date you, Harrington. Dark and brooding boys aren't my type.”
Steve smiles and raises his eyebrows. “Really? What's your type then?”
You let out a hum and pretend to think about it. “I like the guys who used to rule the school, but now they have to babysit teenagers who need massive ego checks.”
Steve wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in closer.
“I think I know the perfect guy for you.”
“Hey! None of that now!” Robin shouted while jumping back into her spot. “I know I said I wanted to be a proper third wheel but I don't need to see you guys kissing.”
Steve threw some candy at her, but to his dismay, she caught it with her mouth and let out a cheer.
“So what movie is next? And don't say, Ferris Buller’s day off, Steve.”
“ITS REAL CINEMA!”
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vigilskeep · 1 year
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We've done this for Keir and his companions, how about Minerva and her thoughts on her own companions?
in order of when she picked them up. these are all intended to be roughly how she feels by the end of the game
alistair: minerva’s bitter and frustrated and resentful. and she’d do blood magic in front of every templar in thedas if it was necessary to come to his defence. these are not mutually exclusive
morrigan: a lot of love, a lot of gnawing worry. minerva jumped at the chance of the dark ritual so quickly she’s not sure she thought it through, she’s not sure what consequences morrigan is facing or bringing about, she’s not sure she had the chance to ask if it was truly what morrigan wanted. she misses her
leliana: a friend, but also, faith frightens minerva. and she’s always seeing leliana as lily from the mage origin. sure, you’re my companion and you have a good heart and you love me. when i lose you to the chantry will any of that matter? of course it does matter, leliana didn’t give up the warden’s location to the divine’s investigation, but minerva could never risk abandoning that wariness
sten: a great deal of mutual respect. they understand one another. she takes criticism better from him than she would from anyone else
zevran: it’s still an absurd luxury to her, to be able to love someone, to wear it openly, to not have to hide it in stolen moments under constant threat of separation, the very best she could expect in the circle. she loves him, she thinks the world of him, she would hate nothing more than to trap him beside her and is still stunned every time he chooses to be there. light of her life. let her be a sap about this one thing. the first time he comes to visit vigil’s keep she smiles so much everyone except oghren thinks she’s been possessed
wynne: minerva gets the full preachy weight of all the circle propaganda wynne tries to convince herself of, wynne in response gets all the rebellious vitriol that minerva was never able to say during her time in the circle, it’s not good at all. it’s very bad. i think they both scare each other; minerva sees the compliant circle mage she could’ve become if she’d stayed and wynne sees everything she fears if mages lose themselves to arrogance
shale: genuinely very uncomplicated friendship. minerva is kind of envious of shale, especially early on: openly saying what it thinks, openly hating what it hates. also being a golem which minerva honestly really really enjoyed in the fade lmao. she hopes it finds what it’s looking for
oghren: after overthinking every interaction she has, oghren is honestly just so straightforward to deal with. he’s loyal. he’s a weapon when she needs one. when he’s funny, she has wit enough to joke along and make it funnier, and when he’s not, she’s scary enough to make him shut up. what else do you need in a companion? honestly after awakening, where he’s the only one who knows she’s an ex(ish) blood mage, they’re pretty good friends, and they stick around in each other’s lives enough to be kind of family, given time. especially if the warden encouraging oghren to be in his kid’s life really works, bc i imagine they and minerva’s kid could easily basically grow up like cousins
loghain: nothing upsets minerva more abt loghain than how much they genuinely get along. why does it only truly feel like she’s betrayed alistair when loghain makes a dry comment and she laughs. they work well together, though, and there’s no sense in ruining that. it would be as much a waste as killing him would have been. he does his duty. they’re friends. none of it absolves him, but minerva’s a warden, not a priest. it’s her job to save worlds, not souls
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xnervouscircus · 9 months
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i only made it about halfway through the rwrb movie before i had to concede it was every bit as cringey as i'd feared it would be and i genuinely couldn't handle any more of it
like even wayyyyyy way back when i first knew it was going to be a movie and we didn't have casting news or anything yet, i already figured that taking the emotional slowburn that plays out over 400 pages and cutting it down into a 90-120 minute movie was gonna. well. suck. i've recently accepted that i largely dislike movies bc everything happens too fast, especially wrt romance. and yep this boiled down alex & henry's relationship to warp speed montage moments before they are In Love and ughhhh it's just boring and bland and makes me wish i could hack am*zon and put a watermark over the whole movie that says "JUST READ THE FUCKING BOOK" (not that the book is like a+ but it's adorable and a lot of fun and it's a comfort book in a way the movie could never ever be a comfort movie)
THEY CUT JUNE ENTIRELY?? AND CUT OUT THE FACT THAT ALEX'S PARENTS ARE DIVORCED? IT'S A KING INSTEAD OF A QUEEN OF ENGLAND???? just. blegh. so many weird changes like that that i knew i should expect bc book-to-screen adaptions almost always have to be so inexplicably WEIRD but i still hate it all. i'm sure the latter two were changed to make it somehow more widely appealing?? or some dumb shit like that?? which uh. the kind of people who would watch a movie with explicit gay sex would not care that the president is a divorcee and the homophobic ruler of england is a woman. MOST OF US ALREADY READ THE BOOK. and literally why cut june out entirely. alex lost a whole sister. the fuck.
i also hated that they made alex's reasons for "hating" henry so one-note and petty, though i guess more-so i hated how short and trivial the whole cupboard talk was. like yeah the first meeting was awful and justifiable enough to hold a grudge, but that whole cupboard talk had been The Turning Point so shaving it down so much just made everything else about their relationship ring false and blah.
the politics were bland, the dialogue was bland, the acting was bland, i'm sorry everything was just. bleeeeeegh. i mean even the best bits of dialogue they kept from the book were ruined bc i'm sorry but i really do not at all like the actors they chose for alex and henry. the way they read the texts and emails was like they were high school bullies reading the gay kid's messages out loud to the class it all just sounded. mocking and cold and WEIRD.
i only made it to the part where alex comes out to his mom and i tried to be happy about the whole "the b isn't silent" thing but it was just another in a collection of dialogue that was all tired, overused lines. (though to be fair to the movie and critical of myself, that isn't the kind of line that makes it to mainstream much, if ever. it just still feels like a really lazy line. idk. i was just sick to death of the dialogue by that point so what should've been a nice line to hear just didn't land for me at all. all the political dialogue was so hackneyed i was just like "why do you all hate uma thurman so much" lol poor woman had nothing to work with with those lines)
another book that tragically does not survive the to-screen adaption. ah well. i think i will palate cleanse with some go2 before i pass out
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ghostreviewsstuff · 1 year
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Dr Stone (manga)
dr stone is.... a mixed bag. but the parts of it that are good are FAR more interesting that the parts that are bad. dr stone is "bad" in the more boring, predictable, and expected ways typical adventure shonens tends to be bad. you can probably guess what most of those issues are just from the genre.
but dr stone is good in ways ill probs be searching for a way to articulate for years to come.
i do consider it to be the greatest deconstruction of both the lone super genius archetype, and the nihilistic asshole super genius archetype. and i think it succeeds where others fail in part bc Senku is presented in a way easily mistaken for that Type Of guy, but he isnt. it doesnt matter how smart he is, he needs the power of friendship if he wants to get literally anything done. he isnt a nilihistic asshole, he's just immature and rude, and he's actually very optimistic and has an upbeat attitude. he's a great protag i have a lot of love for.
but while i can wax poetic circles about my fascination with how intellect is handled in dr stone, thats an essay for another day. lets talk about the story as a whole.
dr stone's setting is set by a mysterious light turning all of humanity to stone for 3700 years, sending everyone back to the stone age. however its less a time travel isekai so much as it is a lord of the flies caveman arms race. it primarily functions under the typical shonen formula with the notable factor that it's magic system is... real life science. altho a bit elevated for dramatic effect.
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the true zeitgeist of dr stone is the back and forth problem solving to build various contraptions to achieve various goals. every character has their own skill sets and personalities that allows them to bounce off of each other and play a role in reaching goals. the cast also has pretty great chemistry making exchanges and banter very entertaining 99% of the time.
while i think the characters are very well written, i have that opinion within the context of dr stone being a plot driven story, not character driven. character arcs are subtle and take a backseat to the wider plot goal posts. i dont consider the low level of character development to be a bad thing, the story just isnt about that and the cast is charismatic and enjoyable for the roles they play.
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the setting of dr stone is very well realized in its simplicity. the artist, boichi is capable of drawing some beautiful scenery. the art overall i think is much more good then bad, and the character designs are fun and distinct if you can tolerate the girls looking kinda busted (boichi.... can not draw women i fear) ironically i found the moe eyes growing on me. but ill be real, the fan service isnt that bad. annoying, yes, but not nearly as bad as it could be. you wont ever see a guy fall on top of a girl and accidentally grope her boobs, so much as the occasional jarring ass shot and weird angles around badly drawn women. that said the young girl and mascot character, Suika, is never sexualized in this way, even though she is grown up by the end of the story
i wont claim the girls in the cast dont suffer from some of the typical shonen misogyny, but Kohaku and Suika at least are very well realized characters and solid female leads i like a lot.
i always feel like i should be harsher in my criticism towards this series, i do genuinely consider it enough of a mixed bag of quality ill hesitate to recommend it to people (tho lets be real, the fan service is always the biggest barrier recommending any animanga regardless of quality despite that) but i really do struggle to make a nuanced critique. even things that are more controversial among its fans, like the way the story progresses in its final arcs, i struggle to complain about. structurally the story delivers on its foreshadowing and progresses in ways that make sense and i do think was planned out by at least the half way point of the story.
the biggest most glaring issues are... extremely basic. very typical levels of shonen misogyny and weird politics. it gets kinda weird in the middle in a way i dont really feel equipped address in detail but am grateful a lot of that.. mess doesn't carry over into the rest of story. it gets tied up in bad, but also very common and unquestioned, colonialist mindsets and tropes just as much as it SUBVERTS and DECONSTRUCTS those same bad ideas. which honestly drives a lil nuts if i think about for to long. the narrative loves to kneecap its own themes and progressive philosophies to a frustrating degree, but i do genuinely think the end product is far more good then bad.
i have a lot to say about this manga, but know are to actually articulate maybe a fraction of it. after watching enough youtubers attempt to review it, im clearly not alone in that. lots of people seem to share my struggles in expressing why they also think dr stone is so good. and i think that complexity of how it grabs people in ways that arent easy to understand, are in itself is an aspect of what makes it what it is.
its a very good adventure shonen series that i think deserves a bit of staying power
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m3rkur3 · 1 year
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i think this article has a lot of important things to say but does a bad job of saying them
I think something I find very weird about this article is the fact that its titled the way it is. like why is AJN in the title? It’s clickbaity and a little unprofessional. And I don’t even disagree with 99% of what it’s saying, the likelihood that 90% of the story is true is quite high. However, there are so few sources that can actually be traced back. There’s some very unneeded speculation. Alexander J Newall being targeted only in the title with nothing in the article really blaming him for anything is just weird. he's the ceo, yes, but you have placed your (named) blame within the article almost entirely on this one callum dougherty.
The fact that it was retweeted by a former TMA voice actor is pretty compelling. And the fact that former people who worked with Rusty Quill whether as volunteers or staff can attest to their poor communication. And bad practices in general. I mean I pretty much do believe a lot of it. Just I find the lack of concrete evidence within the article and the lack of good journalistic practice to detract a lot from the message of the article.
Also names of characters in TMA as pseudonyms feels very unserious. When I reached the bit that was talking about Georgie and Melanie I was like come on please be for real. like this is serious business😭. also I’m seeing the author does a freelancing work with another podcasting company and it’s been argued that they were only freelancing so it’s not that big of a deal. But I don’t know I don’t like that.
Either way the people we really need to think about other people affected by rqs bad practices. I think it really is just incompetence. But they could really really really do better. Also the fact of the author is blocking anyone with any criticism on Twitter??? I don’t think that proves anything other than that they do not know how to make their article look good. That coupled with the weird journalistic choices and the caption they put on their Twitter ("make your statement face your fear" LMFAO?! how unnecessary! again, be serious!) it really does make them look less credible even though in reality the article has legs.
at the end of the day i think it just needed more time. i get the point of releasing this as soon as possible to give fans much needed info on what their fav company is doing in the midst of their kickstarter (lmfao idk i find that quite funny) just… it wasn't done very well or with much thought as to how to actually deal with people who disagree. and by “well” i mean you cannot release an article full of unverifiable info with your (admittedly not TOO damning) background and not one first hand verifiable quote and expect no “hmmm…”s. cuz the author is out here blocking people lmfao. not for disagreeing with the points in the article but for saying “hey i'm not sure you have put much thought into how you wrote this!”
i also think it's very annoying the way people are in the comments of podcasters working under rusty quill talking about the article saying "but u can't say other people didn't experience this!!!' they're not saying that brother. they're responding directly to the “podcasters under rq won't say anything bc theyre not allowed!!!!!” portion of it which i would respond to, too, like don't be silly. like fuck u niggas no one can fucking gag me dont say that😭. again again again… i am very very VERY inclined to believe almost everything in said article. i just find its release into the world and its writing to be a little… subpar. better than nothing i guess. tho is it? people have literally been saying everything here about rq for a while. save the suing and contract stuff i think and even then, you cannot bring up something as serious as SUING and not elaborate lmao! good concept bad execution imo. anywaysssss
I don’t know I just feel like it’s a little bit juvenile for what it’s meant to be and what I think it’s meant to be is an important expose which actually says important things but does it weakly.
TLDR; this article has a lot of important things to say about rusty quill's bad practices but it does it in ways that are very unprofessional. Speculation and the clickbaity title and the lack of concrete sources and twitter caption and the author whose freelance work may or may not be relevant to disclose in an article about their ex-clients competition and the substitution of anonymous names with characters from the Magnus archives. They all paint a picture of a very inexperienced writer whose work amounts mostly to an opinion piece. However I am inclined to believe the allegations made in said article for the reason that there have been a lot of people who previously worked with rusty quill saying the same thing. or mostly the same thing. I just think this article uncovered very little new information and something about it seems mean-spirited, almost as if it was for something that isn’t just the betterment of the affected peoples conditions. But that’s just speculation 😛and honestly just my feelings, not backed up by anything. For me this is more an exercise in analysing an article in general than it is analysing the situation at hand. I’m a writer at heart I’m sorry
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the teenage condition-chapter 1
(none of this is proof-read, read or do not idc)
ive got this nervous feeling about starting something new. i haven't felt really anomymous and simultaneosly been interacting online in forever, not since i was too young to reasonably be a functioning part or a contributer to the internet. before i was old enough to have my own accounts with my own name and age and personality, i still snooped and lurked around the web, but i wouldn't dare post something. i felt guilty, afraid, that oh god oh no, someone (my mom probably) would find that i watched unreasonable amounts of youtube when i said i was asleep, or read copious amounts fanfiction for a fandom mostly written about by 12 year olds and therefore, was quite shit. but im just writing, because my brain feels like it has to, and writing on paper can get a bit slow, and im terrible at keeping a good accurate journal (for fear that someone i know will read it and finally see me or understand something critical and embarrasing about me). i was going to start an angsty teen journal in a black moleskin notebook, but i felt guilty that i had too many notebooks i gave up on halfway through.
its raining like the worlds ending where i live, which is to be expected in january. i hate winter. i understand that people love the snow and rain and wearing their earmuffs and cute outfits, and ice skating, and skiing and snowboarding, etc etc. but my room is cold and my feet are cold and my hands are cold and my school is flooding and waking up in the dark makes me want to die. im not really looking forward to getting life back on a schedule and going back to school. i go to a good school, i have plenty of friends, ive never fallen too behind. things are fine. but also: things are suffocating. so many people who i've known for literally my entire life. and my same friends talking about surface level topics. sometimes i wonder if we really know eachother at all. and other times i love them so much that everyone around us pales in comparison. lately (for the last year) i've felt like i need a closer friendship, i need an outlet, i need a confidant, and even though i have known them for like 10 years, i don't feel like i've ever had that. i dont think i've ever had that with anyone at all. probably a bit of me problem.
i was on a long trip with my family over winter break and started having quite bad anxiety. to get through it, of course a good distraction would do me some good. and what better distraction than reading one of the most famous fanfics that the internet seems to have been absolutely raving about: All The Young Dudes. i finished it this morning. ok actually this afternoon. mostly what i would like to say is: fucking ouch guys. i didnt actually have that much of an interest in the fandom (definetly not planning on reading anything else about it or interacting or writing), to be honest i wanted to see what all the fuss was about. now that i've actually read it all those "anything for our moony" audios on tiktok from like over a year or two ago really pack a punch. my thoughts: the beginning was very slow, but that definetley made the rest of it more impactful; sirius and remus's relationship is actually pretty toxic, but it was delightful to read; i struggled to get through any chapter after they left school, i predicted that it was going to hurt and boy howdy did it. i get it a little but also so much of it was so sad and so much of it was all unprocessed trauma and unresolved conversation and arguments, which sort of pissed me off.
not to say that it wasnt beautiful and also helpful. things i was reminded about myself through reading atyd: my friends dont know to much about like the vulnerable parts of me but its probably because I AM bad at communicating and being open; i do not like unresolved convos and arguments (my parents fight fr); i am probs trans, and have accepted that but not really bc if i had i would have processed it and actually made a move in some direction after mentally having proposed this idea to myself like 3 years ago with the irrisputable evidence of feeling gay for men; i avoid dealing with my problems; and of course i really love a story about buddies being pals.
also i cried a lot reading it
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Umineko, again
episode 1, part 7
i am not entering the Danger Zone where i want to see fanart of natsuhi but i cannot look her up bc i need my mind to be absolutely unblemished. if i saw a spoiler now, that would ruin everything. i actually care about this enough to actively avoid and fear spoilers. thats how serious it is getting. usually i really dont care.
so. back to the story.
eva suggests the servants did this together and its obvious she also fears what they could do, should they find out she knows. this makes sense superficially. perhaps it was even done under the directions of kinzo or natsuhi. man eva really fucking hates her. except why would the servants do this and why would shannon be a victim, too? and why would they draw that weird summoning circle on the sheds door? perhaps the closest theory that makes sense is that kinzo was behind it all and possibly got help from genji but even so... getting rid of his children and doing weird black magic shit might make sense but again, why shannon?
if this was an ace attorney game, we would now collect evidence. but it isnt and we cant because its dangerous. that would be too easy and umineko really loves to take its time before it presents you with conclusions.
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never heard of her
concerningly, maria has entered her joker arc now. i cannot say whether this is her or beatrice using her as a vessel, much like i think she did during the reading of the letter. i just highly suspect shes doing that. ehhhh, not sure this needed three different cg's that get creepier each time. you're overdoing it man. its creepier if theres just a Little off about maria's face. this is my personal subjective criticism.
in general, i personally dislike the creepy child portrayal they started doing with maria. mostly bc i think its corny and instead of making things More Scary and creating tension, its just ruining the built up atmosphere. for me.
later on there is discussion whether her behaviour can be written off as Purely roleplay but i am not quite buying this. there has got to be more to it. then again if there is One thing that can change a childs speech pattern like this and influence their entire body language and behaviour.... it gotta be a witch hyperfixation and urge to roleplay.
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so what does all of that mean!!!! huh!!!!!! it seems important to me that breaking free off bonds is a topic in this. everyone dead seems to at least share this common burden. some sort of social obligation to bound them. who doesnt!! but this seems to be an important topic in this game.
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battler's personal resolution haver theme is really good. he is so funny. he is not buying any of this. from a rational standpoint it is correct of his to keep his guard up and suspect the worst of his questionable relative. from a meta standpoint it is extremely funny and bizarre he would rather blame a relative than escape into the more calming belief that a magical being could be causing all of this. even when the servants all straight up tell him beatrice is a person.
battler said NO escapism. i accuse my aunt of murder like a man. and then he also threatened the servants into talking, i guess. well, let him be mean, he has lost so much....
it seems battler specifically was just born with the inability to see or talk to her. skill issue. so she has to communicate with him through others? AND THE THING IS he is right. there is no reason to believe in a witch. he might look silly to others but i get him though.
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is this beatrice in the room with us right now
servants of course accept beatrice as the culprit no problem and they seem to just straight up know that the six dead people were choosen by chance. interesting. so thats just one of the normal game rules? i guess? i had been wondering.
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also i had not expected my comment about how natsuhi living reminded me of a game of werewolf to be this accurate. so maria's charm actually did it's due. wtf my questions are actually getting answered.
ALSO
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF THEM ALL
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natsuhi with a gun
the lore for that gun is so fucking funny. grandpas western culture love is so unserious if you Are the western culture reading this
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dolugecat · 3 years
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On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):
(Rb ok!)
Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):
Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)
There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.
Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)
I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.
Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.
Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)
With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.
I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.
But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!
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Hey darling ❤️ love your writing 3000 :) can u do one with Bucky x reader (they’re together) where he overhears the reader on the phone with her parents that are emotionally & verbally abusive towards her (they always have been) and the reader has to explain it all to him afterwards even tho she’s having a panic attack (bc she’s afraid bucky will leave her since she has no one else to go to ??) and bucky comforts her and reassures her that he’s gonna be there for her and like comfort fluff? I live in an emotionally abusive and manipulative household rn and I tell you your fics are like an escape for me. Even if u don’t do this thank you from the bottom of my heart :)
Hey there, I love you 3000 ❤ I am so so sorry to hear about your situation, and while I'm glad to hear that my writing is an escape for you, I want you to know that I'm here for you. No one should have to go through what you described. I hope that this can bring you some comfort but please, I encourage you to reach out to someone who can help you. My DM's are open as well, you shouldn't face this alone. I'm here for you!!!
You owe them nothing
Bucky Barnes x reader
Word Count: 3200 (ish)
Warnings: emotional abuse/gaslighting, manipulation, parent issues, tears, angst, breakdown, fluff.
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You really tried to keep it hidden. It wasn’t something that everyone needed to know about.
Your parents loved you, at least that’s what they had said. But it was one of those things where you felt like it was for show - the kindness that they showed when you were around others faded away once you were alone with them.
You remember once they had said “of course I love you, I’m your parent!”
But that made you wonder how they would treat you if you weren’t theirs.
They were horrible to you for as long as you could remember. Gaslighting you and making you feel like you owed them something even though they were the ones who should have taken care of you.
They were around but never…there. They would be there for family dinners but they were always riddled with criticisms of grades and who you were talking to and how you dressed. All of your hobbies were seen as a waste of time, something you should only do when you had nothing else to do. School came first, naturally, but there was always something they told you you had to do before you could do anything for yourself.
Yet when you would complain about being depressed, they told you to get a hobby because you never do anything.
Tired meant lazy, energetic and passionate meant loud and annoying. When you were quiet they thought you had nothing to say, yet when you expressed your opinions you were told to shut up.
You couldn’t win.
You could never make them happy, there was always something you were doing wrong.
They thought it was their right to monitor who you talked to and saw, what you did outside of school, what sports you could join. When you would say no to the school dances or parties you would make up an excuse about not wanting to go or having work to do. Your friends would call you a buzz kill. Little did they know you would give anything to go.
Whenever you would do something wrong (or anything, period,), your parents would yell at you. They would curse you out, make you cry, only to yell at you for crying like a little bitch.
The older you got, the worse it was.
You thought when you moved out it would be better. But you had all these years of being told you were worthless and having them be your providers. When you got your own place you didn’t really have any friends, nor did you really know how to make friends. You had a job to help you get by, you could support yourself. That wasn’t the issue. You could support yourself, you always had to.
It was that you were so lonely.
You wanted friends but you were so afraid of the criticism you would get. You were afraid to make yourself known, because you were always taught that being told what to do and taught what to think was much more appealing than having your opinion.
But this was an opinionated world.
You were good at what you did, so good that you had gotten a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. You thought that would make you happy, more importantly that it would make your parents happy, but no such luck.
“I got a really great job, guys.”
“Fantastic. I guess you’re just doing so great without us,” they had snapped.
“What? I mean… this is what you wanted right? For me to get a good job?” you had said, confused.
You heard a loud sigh on the other end of the line. “Of course we do, what are you crazy about? Of course we wanted you to get a good job but you just deserted us like we were trash. Have we done nothing for you?”
You felt your heart sink in your stomach. ‘Of course you guys have, I love -”
“Don’t say what you don’t mean. If you really cared about us you’d be helping us out. You got a great job and probably have a huge paycheck that you hoard and you left us here to struggle to make ends meet.”
You took the phone away from your face temporarily to take a shaky breath. Of course they would go there with the salary, why wouldn’t they? All of your paychecks had gone to them, since it was their house and they were feeding you, leaving you with barely enough money for your car and gas and phone bills, only for them to suggest longer hours when you complained.
“I can help you guys out if you need,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.
You heard an exasperated sigh on the other line again. “You really should be more grateful, you know? We raised you your entire life and then you leave us alone? You never even call us? You’re so fucking selfish.”
Then the line went dead.
You shook your head and felt tears in your eyes as you spoke to yourself. “Well maybe I would call you if it didn’t always yell at me.”
Of course, you would never say that.
See, it wasn’t so bad. You never said anything because they were only ever mean to you, which would make you uncomfortable. There were people out there that would get hit or who would have to raise themselves from a young age. Once you grew thick skin it wasn’t so bad, you were just being dramatic.
Right?
Your new job was fairly successful, you were fantastic at what you did. You did a lot of behind the scenes work, weapon repair and plans of action with missions. Not that they needed much help with that. Still, they took you in as their friends.
Well, as close as you would let them get to as friends.
It took a while before you warmed up to them. Everyone tended to keep to themselves, but not as much as you. You kept the parts of you hidden away - you were there for a job, you did it, and you did it well. You knew how to do your job but interacting with the team, making friends - you didn’t want to get emotionally attached.
Not like you knew how to make friends to begin with.
Naturally you were drawn to the quieter side of the team, once you were able to open up. They were all nice but sometimes the parties and the jokes were a bit much. You just didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing that would make you the punchline.
No one needed to know about you, or how you would spend your free time being yelled at through a phone with you trying to make it better. That wasn’t part of the job, so you shouldn’t bring it up.
It wasn’t like anyone would want to help. You were just a nuisance to everyone around you.
Right?
No one talked about their life before the team much. Not many people on the team had a great life before the Avengers first came together. Natasha or Wanda had once spoken about how this team was a family. And as much as you wanted to believe it, you helped the team. You weren’t a part of the team. So even if that were true, it didn’t include you.
At least, that was your point of view.
The team viewed you as a part of the team as much as any of them. You didn’t fight with them but you made sure everything would go as smoothly. You were kind and great at what you did, but they wished you would open up more. Of course, being a team of people who had trouble opening up, they understood.
Bucky was one of the ones who took a liking to you, mostly because he saw a lot of himself in you. He could tell there was something that you were trying to get past but weren’t quite able to yet. That there was something bothering but you wouldn’t dare say it for fear of bothering someone. You threw yourself into projects and distractions and from the way you carried yourself, he guessed you were avoiding something that you weren’t ready to work through. At least, not yet.
He knew that feeling too well.
The ex-assassin was one of the easiest for you to open up to because he didn’t expect much from interactions. Both of you were quiet and kept to yourselves that there wasn’t much pressure to share anything or say anything. You knew his past but would never bring it up unless he wanted to. Which eventually, he did. You could tell he felt pressure to be who he was before HYDRA took him, and while Steve was surprised he opened up to you first, you weren’t. Steve knew Bucky before everything, and you didn’t have that bias. He was whoever he was today regardless of who he was yesterday.
And Bucky found comfort in that.
You think you would’ve too, if you thought you deserved it enough to do the same.
See, you were worried that you were making everything worse than it really was. You worried that maybe you were being too sensitive or that what you had grown up with was normal. With everything that everyone on the team went through, a few insults from your parents was hardly anything. You were being dramatic.
There was nothing to be sad or angry about. You just had to get over yourself.
Right?
You were getting by until one night when your parents called, as they did on occasion. You were in the middle of working, so you ignored it. The phone went to voicemail before it started ringing again, and you ignored it, again. The third time you sighed and picked up your phone, turning away from your work.
You took a deep breath before you answered. “Hello?”
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
You closed your eyes and brought a hand to rub your head. “Well I’m doing fine, thank you, how are you?”
“Don’t give me that attitude. What the fuck are you doing? You’ve been ignoring our calls.”
You stood up to pace the floor slightly, dreading the conversation that was coming. Is it the ‘family is most important’ or the ‘where’s my money?’ speech today? “I’ve been working.”
“What, so work is more important than family now? Is that what this is? You don’t care about us?”
Family speech it is.
“Dad -”
“What if one of us was dying? Huh? Would that be important?”
“Stop it. No one is dying, and I was working. And I have more work to do, so I really have to go.”
“You don’t get to tell me what to do, I’m your father.”
Gaining confidence you gritted your teeth and snapped, “You know what? I’m an adult now so you can’t tell me what to do.”
There was silence on the other end of the line and you could practically hear the steam coming out of your father’s ears.
At some point Bucky had come down to your working space to check on you, seeing as it was nearly morning. He stopped in the doorway, and seeing you were busy on the phone he thought he would stop by later to give you some privacy. But he stopped when he heard you snap.
You never snap.
“Who do you think you’re talking to you ungrateful little bitch?”
“I’m talking to the people who treated me like shit my entire life and ask me for money when you wouldn’t give me the time of day for 18 fucking years.”
Even you couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. But god did it feel good to say them.
“Are you fucking serious right now? We did nothing for you? What do you think we’ve been doing your whole life? We’ve done everything we did to help you be the best person you could be. You have that job now because of us and you have no right to speak to me that way.”
You chuckled darkly as you looked up at the ceiling, unaware of Bucky’s presence behind you. “My entire life all I’ve ever wanted to do was make you guys proud of me. But you know what? I’m fucking done. You hated me, gaslighted me, and made me hate myself almost as much if not more than you seemed to hate me.”
“I did no such thing you ungrateful -”
“You were supposed to love me and care for me, and all you did was take advantage of me. I’m not your child, I’m a paycheck. I don’t owe you anything because you gave me nothing. So you know what? FUCK. YOU.”
You hung up the phone and tossed it across the room, adrenaline taking over your body as you tried to stop shaking. Because a small part of you felt bad.
But fuck did that feel amazing.
You heard a throat clear behind you and you turned around to see Bucky, eyebrows furrowed in concern.
“You okay?”
You nodded nervously, rubbing the sides of your arms. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, unconvincingly. “How much, uh...how much did you -
“Enough,” he said, pushing himself off of the door frame as he crossed over to you. “Who was that?”
“Bucky, don’t, it’s really fine. I just got a little worked up.”
“Y/n,” he started, looking at you with concern. “Who were you talking to?”
“No one.”
“You don’t get upset like that at no one,” he took your hands in his. “Y/n, you're shaking.”
It was then that you realized your hands were still shaking, trying to keep the anxiety of what happened at bay.
It’s going to be so much worse now.
I can never talk to them again.
Is that a good thing? Didn’t I want that?
Bucky could sense you getting lost in your head. “Sweetheart, tell me what happened, please. I want to help you.”
You pulled your hands away from his and crossed your arms. “You can’t help me because there’s nothing wrong, okay? I handled it, it’s over. Done. nothing to worry about.”
“Y/n -”
“No really, there’s nothing you can do, okay?”
“Will you at least let me try?”
You looked at him, adrenaline starting to drain from your system. This was Bucky, your Bucky, who had never done anything but love and support you. He had never done anything to hurt you.
But what if he left you too?
You took in a sharp breath and curled in on yourself, a scared look on your face. Bucky crossed back over to you, seeing a scared look on your face.
“Hey, hey, y/n? Can you look at me?”
You brought your eyes up to meet his, feeling your chest constricting as you tried to keep your breathing even. It wasn’t working.
“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t… I’m fine really I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”
“Hey, it’s alright, it’s okay, you have nothing to apologize for,” he pulled you in for a hug and kissed the top of your head. “Let’s go sit down, okay?’
He led you over to your bed and you leaned forward, hands on your knees and head in your hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening, this - I’m sorry, it’s so stupid, I’m so stupid.”
Bucky rubbed a hand up and down your back, hushing you. “It’s not stupid. If it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid.” Bucky took a small breath. “Do you remember all of those times after nightmares and all those panic attacks you would walk me through? How I thought I was being stupid?”
“You weren’t being stupid”
“And neither are you.”
You took some more shaky breaths as tears kept falling down your face. “You’re okay. It’s alright, I’m right here.”
Bucky let you calm down, knowing you would talk about it if you wanted to. He wanted you to talk about it so he could help you (and hurt whoever upset you) but he wouldn’t force you into telling him anything you didn’t want to.
The two of you sat in the silence, Bucky looking at you with soft eyes as you kept your face hidden.
“I haven’t told you a goddamn thing about me. You ever wonder why?”
You looked over at Bucky, eyebrows creased with slight confusion.
“They said blood was supposed to be thicker than water. That family comes first, right? I spent my whole life listening to them and following them and being the perfect kid. I made myself into everything they wanted me to be. And it still wasn’t enough for them.”
Bucky tilted his head slightly. He hadn’t known his parents much before they died but he had always wanted to have more time. But he wasn’t oblivious to the fact that not everyone had good parents.
“You know, I remember thinking that once I made it they would be happy. That if I worked hard enough or went onto do great things that they would be proud of me. That’s all I ever wanted, you know?” you said, voice wavering as you let out a bitter laugh. “But it’s not, you know? Never is, never was, never will be. All they do is take and take and no matter how good I am they’re always gonna hate me because I can’t be perfect.”
“No one’s perfect, y/n.”
“Well that’s what they want me to be. I know I can’t be perfect so I know they’ll never be happy. That they’ll call me ungrateful and selfish for succeeding and for leaving them when they never wanted me to be there to begin with.” You felt tears spill over as you wiped them away. “And I’m ust so fucking done with being a disappointment to them and to everyone else.”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
“I don’t know,” you said softly, not really wanting to be more vulnerable.
Bucky, sensing this was a time he could push you, challenged you. “I think you do.”
You shook your head. “I didn’t want anyone to see me the way they did. I thought what they said wasn’t true but...I just thought that maybe I was overreacting. Other people have it worse you know - some people have no parents or some have it so much worse. Mine just yell at me you know? Tell me everything’s my fault and that they wish they’d never had me. That I’m ungrateful for not being with them and that I owe them. I just...I heard that for the first 18 years of my life. I didn’t need any more of it.”
“y/n, that’s…” he swallowed, trying to contain his anger. “That’s not normal. No one should have to go through that. You can’t possibly think you're a bad person.”
Your shrug was enough to tell him that you did.
“Y/n, I don’t know who your parents think they are but you don’t owe them a damn thing. You may be related to them but you have no obligation to love your parents if they treat you like that. You have every right to be angry or to hate them. It doesn’t make you a bad person to be angry with someone who hurt you.”
“But they’re my family.”
“Well they didn’t treat you like it. You have us now, you don’t need them anymore. We’re your family. And we’re not gonna leave you.”
“They didn’t leave me Bucky, I left them.”
“You can’t leave someone who was never there for you.”
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lunaastoir · 3 years
Text
fluff/relationships w the mondstadt crew
characters included: diluc, kaeya, and jean
gn! reader as always <3
tw: fluff??? domesticity??? crack??? ideal relationships w people who will never be real??? also mentions of alcohol!
an: so i’m back w a sequel to my “fluff/relationships w the liyue crew” since you guys seemed to really like it <3 thank you my heart is literally melting 😩 this post was getting too long so i excluded some of the characters but expect a part. 2 (more like part 3 but part 2 to the mondstadt version)! 
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diluc
man. this MAN.
that’s it, that’s the headcanon. 
he would literally be the most doting lover in the softest ways
SUCH a soft romantic like you thought you knew love??? nah this man will show you what love is
will constantly leave you things around the winery to convey his silent thank you’s and appreciation for you putting up with him being busy for most of the day
it’s always the most thoughtful things ever too like-
you mentioned how nice it would be to have some fresh lemonade with the hotter weather outside but it was too late in the day to actually go to the market in search of fresh lemons 
the next day you walked downstairs only to be greeted with a pitcher of cool lemonade with a side of lemon bars
there was a note attached to the handle of the pitcher <3 
“i recall you mentioning how lemonade would be perfect for the warmer weather so i decided to make some for you this morning. i hope it’s still cool by the time you drink it. love, d” 
pls sir your hand in marriage
he secretly loves it when you usher him to bed after waking up in the dead of night to see him working by candlelight on reports 
soft hands on his cheeks gently whispering about how, it’s been far too long and come to bed, darling and there will be time for this in the morning
his protests are light given the dark purple hues under his crimson eyes but he’ll still make a little fuss 
don’t let this man fool you tho he’s so so touched that you care enough to check up on him and drag him to bed!!
sometimes on the days he has a bit more free time, the two of you will quickly grab your dinners and race to the highest spot in the winery to watch the setting sun
these moments are always filled with laughter, something you’ve found you’re easily able to pull out of diluc, simply because it’s you 
uncontrollable sobbing
he would let you paint his nails black like the angsty man he is 
frankly he would let you do anything to him if it makes you happy <3 
ok but wait diluc w bLACK NAILS?? AND RINGS??? i would die on the spot ⚰️
on the topic of makeup, this man is surprisingly really good w it 
i like to think he learned after practicing on kaeya when they were younger bc kaeya was really into makeup
you found out after babysitting klee one day and trying failing to draw eyeliner on the sweet girl after her “big brother ‘bedo!”
you hastily grabbed some wipes, gently wiping off the messed up design before attempting to dive back in 
diluc however, had some down time so he decided to check up on his favorite chaotic duo 
only to be met with a pile of dirtied makeup wipes, your frustrated expression, and klee’s growing jitteriness 
swiftly moving to your side, he quietly asked if you needed help 
you glanced up quizzically before handing him the eyeliner, already looking around to find more makeup wipes when this inevitably goes wrong 
to your utter surprise tho the eyeliner is perfect??? two perfect winged lines??? in less than a minute??? WHAT
you just stood there like 😦 before diluc got back up and handed you the eyeliner 
you were short-circuiting, klee was ecstatic, diluc was worried about you 
ok last thing abt diluc 
crack! warning but the both of you like lowkey pranking kaeya 
for diluc it’s revenge on his annoying brother; for you it’s good - natured sibling rivalry fun 
every time the two of you see kaeya, one of you always swipes something of his 
small things really, it could be a pen or a handkerchief
one time, diluc swiped kaeya’s spare eyepatch and from the looks of it, kaeya’s only spare black eyepatch bc he was frantically looking for it yk he’s desperate when he even asked diluc if he saw it
the two of you spent an hour nearly laughing your asses off 
all in all, life w him is so sweet 
kaeya
pretty boy? pretty boy. 
while i can’t guarantee stability, life would never be boring w this man that’s for sure
piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides 
he LOVES it, the feel of you on his back while he’s walking around mondstadt most likely carrying you to your commission 
he finds it comforting especially since he can hear the rumble of your voice against him while you recount stories, or just babble on about everything under the sun 
he is SO dramatic so obviously when y’all reach the site of the commission he has to kill all the monsters even tho the both of you agreed to split it up evenly 
he makes quick work of his set before stealing some of yours much to your chagrin 
you scold him but can you really be mad at him when he looks drop dead gorgeous freezing the hilichurls the answer is no, no you cannot be
oh my god ok wait-
he does this thing where he tries to spook you in public 
so say you’re getting groceries at the mondstadt general store
you round the corner just minding your own business, looking around, taking in the sunshine 
and suddenly you just hear someone drop in behind you but before you can register anything you hear a soft “boo” and hands circle your waist 
you jump SIKE let’s be honest you shrieked 
meanwhile kaeya’s just laughing his ass off 
you can hear his rich peals of laughter while you attempt to regain your bearings 
he does this so often you SHOULD be used to it but you really aren’t bc mans is SNEAKY-
he cards his fingers in your hair whenever you’re speaking 
he doesn’t know why, it’s just a cute habit and he finds the feel of his fingers in your hair soothing
oH on the topic of comfort, kaeya really likes resting two fingers on the back of your neck???
ik he seems like the type to throw his arm around your shoulder which yes he totally is but during more serious conversations his hand automatically seeks out the warmth of your neck 
your neck feels amazing especially during the warmer months due to his chilly fingers contrasting with your warm skin  
he likes that he’s able to access such a vulnerable part of you and you would willingly let him 
HE GETS YOU MATCHING OUTFITS
no i will NOT take criticism on this i just kNOW he’s that type of guy
it would be those stupid “i’m his” and “they’re mine” sweatshirts like BYE 
it’s so cringy but for some reason it’s oddly adorable and you truly despise it but you can’t seem to say no whenever he asks 
you pretend to ignore the look of pity diluc throws your way whenever he sees you like this
kaeya really loves accessories so i think he would be the type to give you a promise ring or something similar to show that he truly does care for you 
he would brush it off, flirting a little like usual before handing you the ring 
with the way his cheeks softly darken though, you know he’s being genuine 
TICKLE FIGHTS ik i mentioned this for childe but shhhh
he has tickle fingers??? his hands just loOK like they’re itching to tickle someone so you’ll most likely be the unfortunate victim 
he will not show you mercy. at all. he’ll tickle you until there are tears streaming from your eyes, your face is hot, and your voice is hoarse from laughing so damn hard 
it gives him such a rush of serotonin its SO CUTE 
i feel like this goes without saying but he’s super into pda,,, anything and everything is on the table 
hand holding? duh. ass grabs? ofc. carrying you bridal style around mondstadt? why not 
ik he’s typically very playful but once the relationship reaches a certain stage, he’ll slowly start to let down the walls that surround his facade 
very very slowly show you the more realistic parts of him 
the real, damaged pieces of his soul 
he’ll be carefully monitoring your reaction though, any sign of fear or disgust will have him recoiling within himself again and you most likely will never see his true nature ever again 
SO BE CAREFUL 👹
once you’ve seen the parts of him he’s offered to you, the hushed whispers of his past, and the uncertain lines of his future, he will take off his eyepatch 
pretends like he’s not super nervous but he’s SWEATING- 
the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen though hands down 
you can understand why he covers it up but you would like it if he felt comfortable enough to take off the eyepatch occasionally when he’s with you 
also!!! sleeps with his eyepatch side facing you (in the event he wears it to bed) 
if this happens you KNOW he trusts you bc it’s his blindside <3 
anyways life w kaeya will never be boring but he is a very complicated man 
stay with him though, i promise it’ll be worth it 
jean
the key to jean’s heart is coffee and food 
GET HER COFFEE AND FOOD
i am begging you she deserves it 😭
the poor woman works so hard bc the knights are so mf understaffed, this is literally the best way you can ever show her your love and appreciation when she has work
she will MELT if you have a hot shower and dinner waiting for her when she inevitably returns later than she promised
will completely refuse at first with, “you did not have to do this, it’s too much” but shush her as you shOULD bc she deserves the entire world 
she’s the definition of “you do something for me, i’ll return the favor ten times grander”
you leave a flower on her desk bc it reminded you of her??? you’ll wake up to find a whole bouquet of the prettiest windwheel asters you’ve ever seen the next morning along with a thank you note
she’s so sweet BYE
she gets flustered extremely easily so you obviously use this as an opportunity to tease her 
when you’re in public rest your hand on her waist and inch it higher until your hand is underneath her shirt and in contact with her warm skin 
she’ll actually short-circuit its quite adorable 
sometimes y’all will be cuddling and you’ll hear whispers of her insecurities 
“am i a good grand master? will i ever be as valiant as vanessa?”
reassure her!!! tell her that she doesn’t need to be like vanessa, she’s already amazing as jean 
if you haven’t seen her in awhile, track her down and schedule a lunch date 
she never misses appointments and if it’s for you, she’ll gladly make time to see you even if she has to stay up even later than usual 
OH-
GIVE HER MASSAGES 
she has so much tension and the sorest muscles from hunching over papers and running around on errands 
if you sneak into her office and quietly stand behind her before gently pushing down on the sore tendons of her neck, she’ll genuinely fall over on her desk 
so make sure you steady her 😀
after you feel how tight her muscles are though, you drag her to barbara bc she needs a healer asap 😭
while most of your time is spent in her office - you helping out in the ways you can while jean is overseeing knight duties - you still have your fair share of life outside of the favonius headquarters
jean never likes to sit still so whenever you have free time, the both of you head off looking for monsters to clear
bouken da bouken???
adventuring w jean is seriously the funnest thing you could ever do 
it’s just non-stop you accidentally getting into trouble and her having to come help you 
even tho the both of you are dead tired after fighting, what? 20 hilichurl camps now??? the laughter and joy in your eyes shows how you both truly loved every minute of it
it’s both a stress reliever, good fun, and a work-out <3
you’re definitely prone to getting dragged to angel’s share w kaeya 
kaeya and jean sometimes hang out after work at the tavern so inevitably you’re dragged along too 
all three of you are drunk out of your minds which just makes everything a MILLION times funnier 
kaeya slurring over his words makes the two of you start cackling endlessly while diluc just shakes his head making sure to not give you more wine despite your pleas 
angel’s share ft. kaeya and bartender diluc are always the best times fr fr 
life with her literally feels like y’all are married 
so much domesticity it’s so NICE ALJDKSFH
your house is always so clean and the color scheme is impeccable bc jean has such a good eye 
you have a chore schedule 😎 but it almost never works out bc jean ends up doing everything without you knowing- 
you always confront her abt it and she’s like 😁 “i had some time so i did them! no worries tho” like i- time??? where bitc-
oH- she has amazing style so you can bet shopping w her is literally the best experience 
she takes you to all of the hidden gems some places lisa recommended and helps you pick out things 
will 100% get really blushy if you come out in something and ask her for her opinion tho she’s literally the cutest
basically jean is a sweet girl who deserves the entirety of teyvat that is all. 
thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3 
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lost-m-stranger · 2 years
Text
About Gilbert and Silvio
So i was here admiring the beauty of my man Gilbert and a thought came to my mind: even though I really like the animal association that is attributed to ikepri’s suitors (it is nice how it matches with their personality), my first impressions abt Gilbert and Silvio were different than what I expected according to their crest.
Gilbert was introducted as a man that is always smiling but inspires fear all around him and also likes to trample everything and everyone. I know he was supposed to be a counterpoint for Chevalier, but his personality and color palette reminds me much more of a hyena than a tiger even though he is not hysterical (I think I expect something more serious from a tiger alike person).
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Plus, about Silvio it’s almost the same situation: I know he is supposed to be linked with Rio somehow, but he seems to be (at least superficially) arrogant and everywhere he goes you can hear the noise of his jewelry before you indeed even see him. Again, colour pallete, the first thing that came through my mind was a peacock (even bc i already had a Dalmatian and she was the cutest silly thing ever, much different than my first impression of Sil heh)
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Since their routes are not out yet (and i’m not following ikepri jp’s events) i might get able to associate them with a tiger/dalmatian after it, but by now i can’t avoid thinking like that.
ps. this is just a random thought based only on my first impressions of them. I already like them both a lot so that is not a criticism
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shoichee · 3 years
Note
teiko manager anon back ~ my juicy part 2 will disappoint bc guess what: we're skipping two years into the future. akashi never found out what happened, and by third year the gom were the epitome of cruelty. so reader picks a fight with them after meiko game, only to collapse out of stress after. they graduate, she follows kuroko to seirin and they train to defeat gom. but why is she so insecure and easily sad when gom is mentioned? they get their answer when they catch her overworking
oh teiko anon, so so bold.... really out here stirring the pot of chaos with this part 2 huh KEK alright folks BUCKLE IN YOUR SEATBELTS IT”S TIME FOR PART 2 and part 1 is right here ! part 3 will be here ! update: part 4 is here !
Akashi x Reader
Part 2
[Teiko!manager Headcanons]
remember how I said in part 1 how Akashi would find out sooner or later? this would normally be the case, but in this exception…
you came back to school pretty quickly and restored, only to be in shock when Akashi himself confronts you about where you’ve been… like hello? YOUR CRUSH?? is? talking? to you? about your wellbeing?
here’s the thing, Akashi can easily detect lies through body language because he has an extraordinary sense of kinetic vision and critical thinking, but he’s still a human, not to mention… a middle schooler, and he’s not a true mind reader as some teammates would wholeheartedly believe
still, after some easy sleuthing he easily drew out confessions from some teammates who badmouthed you, although every single one were some type of half-truths and inconsistent testimonies that didn’t really make sense in painting a big picture
instead of incorrectly assuming things, he wanted to hear what’s been going on from your own mouth (keep in mind, this is still Oreshi, the guy who’s still cordial and wants to confirm this with you out of respect)
when he asks you some questions, he doesn’t detect any physical signs of lying from you, which only makes him believe that there wasn’t anything wrong to begin with other than you being under the weather and the other teammates saying utter nonsense either out of fear in his presence or using you as a scapegoat to cover up other delinquencies that he may have yet to discover
“(l/n)-san, I take it that you’ve been resting well? I heard from Kuroko that you were absent due to the seasonal flu.”
“Ah, y-yes! I’ve actually gotten plenty of rest and proper meals, so I’m back on my feet quicker than expected.”
“I actually also wanted to ask you something, if you don’t mind?”
“What is it?”
“Has anything odd happening to you lately? Anyone who has given you trouble or has been uncooperative with you as head manager as of late?”
at the question, you only frown in genuine confusion before you answer no; you genuinely believed that these teammates weren’t in the wrong for “speaking their mind” and if anything, you felt like you were the problem in not being capable enough in managing your own job and your health in the process (despite being knowledgeable in health yourself)
because Akashi saw that you weren’t lying, he dropped it completely out of respect and asked you that if there was anything troubling you that you could reach out to him
oh how he was so, so close to finding out the truth
this wouldn’t be brought up ever again because you and Akashi only continued to grow busier and busier with your own duties; eventually, your fears came true when the Generation of Miracles had in fact “left” you behind when their talents blossomed too fast and left unchecked
honestly, you developed a horrible habit of overworking despite Kuroko’s and Kise’s constant checks on you
what do you know? of course the coaches and faculty members would ignore your opposition against putting the GoMs in every game; after all some of them had been quite dismissive of you already
it’s kind of ironic because if Bokukashi was the one interrogating you back then, he would’ve either easily (correctly) assume based off of the teammates’ testimonies alone, or he’d be a lot more insistent in discerning the truth of the situation and nipping it right in the bud to stop the “nonsense”
but at the same time, Bokukashi has a lot more pressing priorities than a few poor-attitude teammates when he has the entire reputation of Tekio’s legacy on his shoulders; anything pertaining to you never crossed his mind ever since his domineering side emerged
you were really excited for Kuroko since he was gushing about playing against his old friend, since his friend couldn’t make it to finals the first time // needless to say, you were also Kuroko’s mental support when he felt really down at that time
after Kuroko sustained an injury in the game before Meiko, you immediately accompanied him to the infirmary
there, Kuroko requests you to go watch the game and you only reluctantly agree because you wanted to see the game just to relay back to Kuroko just in case if he couldn’t make it, and you were still a manager with a job to fulfill; you’d figure leaving Momoi to watch over was sufficient enough
when you walk out the door though… you bump into Akashi, which is the first time in a while where you two were face-to-face like this; your heart sank when you realize that you had to accept the fact that he’s changed and allowed the distance to grow between you two
but a small part of denial makes you quickly turn and flee out the hallway, but you really begin to evaluate your crush on him as you scurry away; Akashi just stares at you for a moment before he enters into the infirmary where Kuroko is
you’ve distanced yourself from other people (GoMs in particular) in basketball out of denial of the fact you were really left behind (plus, you already dread attending to their games because it’s always a cruel reminder that you’re not working hard enough to achieve results of the same level), which is why reality slapped you in the face after the aftermath of the Meiko game… when you witnessed the full extent of their cruelty on the court
you were really hurt—in fact, you looked more distraught than the Meiko teammates themselves
especially, since the fact that Kise himself, who you thought of him as someone you can trust in, partook in this as well (this is actually your first time in seeing his cruel side in action, since he’s always been very sweet and helpful to you because he respects you)
you first confronted Kise when he was alone for a bit, sounding absolutely heartbroken and on the verge of tears; you shocked him out of his cold side and he immediately becomes a mother hen and asking if you needed water or a seat to calm down before you overexert yourself
after telling him your feelings about the game and your growing distance in the friendship, he sincerely apologizes for making you feel in such an awful way and tells you to let him know next time before a game, so that he wouldn’t suggest this type of entertainment for the game again.
you were in complete disbelief… the fact that your best friend suggested this himself? You dumbly asked for his reason, and he only says that you wouldn’t understand it because no one ever gives the GoM a proper challenge
even though he didn’t intend anything bad when he said this, it just made you feel worse, but you still accepted the apology to get it over with
the other GoMs come and you immediately become angry again and tension just skyrockets; Midorima simply looks away and says nothing, and Murasakibara and Aomine do most of the talking back/arguing… and Akashi only impassively stares at you
later, when Kuroko himself confronts them while everyone was walking in the hallway, you completely lagged behind on the group, tearfully staring at the backs of the GoMs and how you felt really alienated and unmotivated to continue being a manager for a team you don’t even recognize anymore
you grew dizzy again, and you knew your body was dealing with too much at once but you willed your body to at least last the trip
at least you gave a warning when you assumed that you were away from the GoMs at Teiko before you went unconscious; Kise happens to catch you before he brings you to the school infirmary
he does stay with you the entire time, knowing the reason for your collapse was all the extreme emotional and mental toll accumulated in such a short time; he feels absolutely guilty, and when you were about to stir awake, he simply leaves a lighthearted note and a cutely shaped bread before he leaves, knowing that you’d be stressed again if you saw him (around this time is when Kuroko confronts Akashi to quit the team, which is why he was nowhere near you at the time of your collapse/rest)
you felt better that at least Kise still sees you as a close friend when you see what he left behind
you still feel awful, to say the least
it felt wrong of you to quit mid-season, since you felt that you were simply giving up and further perpetuating the fact that you weren’t doing the most that you could
but you didn’t feel like staying for the rest of the season, so you decided to overwork yourself again to get the rest of the paperwork and training plans out of the way for the remainder of the games; you even left detailed instructions to Momoi in how to relieve certain pressure points and muscles for instant relief in case someone hurts themselves
a little timeskip where you decided to tag along Kuroko in attending Seirin High, but you were more reluctant in joining basketball again because you didn’t want to re-experience the stress and burdens in Teiko
well, until you made friends with Riko, and her story in how she was skeptical about basketball at first too inspires you to give it a try again
Kuroko feels really happy that you’re at ease again for the first time, but he definitely notices how you grow gloomy when the Seirin teammates praise the GoMs
you slowly relapse into the habit of overworking to “compensate” for your lack of contributions to Seirin’s team, but this time, every member DROPKICKS you to stop working and relax sometimes (Riko and Hyuuga are the main culprits)
even though you never tell them the reason for your poor habits, the Seirin team members just SENSE and KNOW what to say to make you feel like you’re doing more than enough to support the team in their own unique ways (Mitobe giving really cute shoulder pats and thumbs-ups… Koganei giving you slaps on the back and high-fives… Riko bluntly telling you to relax and giving you encouraging winks… Hyuuga being a roundabout in his praises… Teppei openly praising you… and Kagami telling you that you were doing too much LOL)
Kuroko gives you the SOFTEST SMILES (everyone freaks out every time he does that, it’s hilarious)
however, wounds slowly reopen more once again every time Seirin goes against schools that the respective GoM plays for
after every win Seirin achieves against the GoM’s respective school, each GoM would eventually learn a little tidbits here and there about your tendency to overwork and collapse and possible speculations of why, but you never confirm anything with them
even though you easily forgive Kise after the Seirin vs. Kaijo match (seeing how he interacted with Kagami and Kuroko in the park), for the others… you weren’t so ready to confront…
… particularly with Akashi
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janetbrown711 · 3 years
Text
My headcanons about Queen Angelina II
Majority of these can be seen in this fic, so if you like the idea go check it out ;)
Also- a handful of these are shared with the lovely @madelynartz, who also has fantastic takes on her, so be sure to check out their post too
If you want me to draw/write any of these specific headcanons/moments, just send an ask and I’ll probably do it
I’ll (likely) be making another, seperate post for William when i feel like it
Update: I have
This is gonna be a long post-
Early Life:
Her parents weren't very loving or caring, only ever wanting her to work on her studies and singing
Her mother was worse than her father, as she was egotistical and always critical of Angelina II and always seemed to find problems with things and people that made her happy
Her mother also always went by her full name (You had to refer to her as Queen Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the First- she wouldn't let people shorten it)
Naturally- Angelina resented her mother and with that, her own name.
She hates it when people say her full name- "Just Angelina is fine"
But if she especially likes you, you can call her Lena ;)
Since the only thing her parents approved of was studying, she devoured the entire castle library as a child, which left her often more informed than her tudors, which left her bored during lessons and she quickly became a "smart-ass" as she liked to talk back and figure out the ways she could get out of lessons
She hated the idea of getting betrothed, and any time a suitor would come over, she'd attack his pride in any form she could think of to get them to hate her, and she was successful
One of the suitors was Prince Salazar
She hated Salazar the most
Despite her attitude being well known across several kingdoms, rumors of her beauty and wonderous singing kept them coming
Her father, King Harold the Eighth, died when she was 10, and she could hardly say she really grieved him, but it made her mother more distant and sometimes outright cruel
She met William when he was 15 in the royal stables when he was training to be a squire
He fell in love instantly, though Angelina wanted to get to know him first
They were the best of friends since they met, though it was obvious Queen Angelina I disapproved
However, after awhile Angelina just stopped caring about what her mother thought entirely and was much better off
She and William loved to garden together, and always planted new flowerbeds in the palace garden every spring
William proposed when he was 22 and she was 21
Obviously she said yes, but they had to keep it hidden from her mother, who would likely take William away
Luckily for them, Angelina I died a month after he proposed, and the two were quickly married.
Yakko:
Yakko was born 10 months after their wedding
Angelina fell in love instantly, declaring him to be the cutest baby she had ever seen
She's terrible with names, and never named her children until after they were born
She hated the idea of giving him a really long and convoluted name, or a name that was in her family (like Harold the 9th)
And so Yakko it was
She didn't expect motherhood to be so exhausting, but hearing Yakko's laugh for the first time made everything worth it to her
Yakko began babbling at a younger age than most, and he babbled constantly, even in his sleep. Angelina loved to just sit and listen to him try to tell stories in nonsense baby language
However, Yakko seemed to have a preference for hearing William give the bedtime stories, as when she tried to read he got fussy
Once he was able to explain he said "daddo does the voices" and that he preferred her lullabies anyway
It hurt at first, but she understood. William was an excellent story teller, though he did have a tendency to ramble at times
Yakko's favorite story was of how they met
She's very protective, and if he was sick or hurt, she'd never leave his side
Her hair used to be very, very long but once Yakko was able to grab things and kept yanking her hair, she chopped it all off and has kept it short ever since
Wakko:
Wakko didn’t cry or breathe when he was born, so for the first moments of his life, Angelina and William feared he was dead
He wasn’t dead though, and they rejoiced greatly, and cried a lot
Angelina refused to let go of him though, and they were only able to get Wakko away from her when she fell asleep from exhaustion
After about a week or so, she relaxed more, but she needless to say her protectiveness went to new heights 
“Lena, Yakko slept in a crib all the time, it’s fine-” “How do you know that?” “Lena, I was there.”
William did always have a way to reassure her though
However, the extra layer of protectiveness was kinda needed for Wakko, as he loved to bite and chew on everything and anything he could get his little hands on (including his own tail)
She eventually gained what William described as a “sixth sense” where she could just tell when Wakko put something he wasn’t supposed to in his mouth.
Wakko didn’t talk much when he was young, especially when compared to Yakko, though his brother seemed to get him to talk even more than his parents could
They didn’t mind though, whatever worked, worked
Wakko loved following Yakko everywhere he went the moment he could crawl. Angelina thought it was adorable.
Wakko had a tendency to hurt himself a lot (whether by tripping, crashing, bitting his tail too hard, etc.) which forced Angelina to learn that he’ll be okay, and not to overreact or panic, as he was most certainly not made of glass
Angelina had a tendency to be a worry-wart
Dot: 
Angelina became pregnant with Dot right before tensions with Ticktockia started to rise, but William was determined not to let that ruin their optimism about having another child that was hopefully a girl
Angelina really wanted a girl bc Yakko and Wakko didn’t like dressing up and she really hoped a girl would, though she knew there wasn’t ever a guarantee, but she hoped
Angelina went into labor in the middle of a meeting with an ambassador from Ticktockia, but forced herself to finish it bc she ain’t a quitter
Despite Dot being her third child, she took the longest to actually deliver (two days), likely due to the exhaustion from countless meetings with Ambassadors and the stress of trying to avoid war bc King Salazar decided past treaties suddenly didn’t mean anything
Angelina had originally been against giving her her name, as she still associated it with her mother, but William said that he only thought of her, and that she was a much better mother and person than Angelina I could’ve ever been, which changed her mind.
However, she had thought of the name Dot before she was born, and liked it to so she and William agreed they’d just call her that for short, and if you asked them “how is Dot short for Princess Angelina blah blah blah the Third, they’d reply “it just is”)
Though she wouldn’t tell Yakko or Wakko, Dot was most certainly the cutest baby of them all
Wakko and Yakko loved to just... stand over Dot’s crib and watch her do things
Wakko also didn’t grasp what a baby was, and would often try to make her do things, and when she wouldn’t he’d get upset and Angelina or William would have to explain why she can’t play with him with the toy soldiers
She’d often just ramble on and on to Dot as she slept while William watched the boys, talking about the new treaties going up, and how worried she was about what Salazar would do if he didn’t agree with the new treaties and deals. It made her feel better. 
To also ease her worries, she taught Yakko how to take care of his sister. How to burp her, how to change her, how to give her a bath, etc. She hated thinking about what could possibly happen, but knowing they’d survive somehow made her feel much better. 
Dot was three months old when the attack happened, and Angelina wished she had had more time with her before dying.
Misc. (bc I refuse to end on a bad/depressing note)
She had family portraits made after each of her kids were born bc she wanted to always remember how cute of babies they were
Her lullabies worked like magic in terms of getting the three of them to sleep
If you asked her, she thinks Yakko has her eyes, Wakko has her nose, and Dot has her eyes and face shape
In the space between her mother dying and their wedding, she met Hello Nurse, who was a childhood friend of William’s, and they hit it off quite well- so much so that Angelina offered her a job in the castle, but she refused, saying she had plans with some doctor in Acme Falls, which Angelina respected. 
She one time tried to practice knitting in hopes of knitting the kiddos a blanket, but she was  t e r r i b l e  at it, and gave up after a week of trying
William and her liked to throw balls at least once a year, and everyone agreed they were the best dancers out there (what they didn’t know was how much practice Angelina had to put in to get a sense of rhythm- she was a terrible dancer, and William’s natural grace when dancing far exceeded her own)
Despite others protesting, Angelina always suspected that the reason tension was growing with Ticktockia was because Salazar was jealous and upset that she married some random knight rather than him (a theory that was proven right to her right before her death)
Her favorite food was bananas
William was a huge cuddler, so they’d cuddle close every night
she personally tutored Yakko on things like history and geography, as she felt those tended to be the most boring classes, and she wanted to have some part in his education, as she hated all of her teachers when she was a kid
She often didn’t know when to shut up, which did end up costing her in the end, but she didn’t regret a single word she said before her death, as Salazar deserved every bit of it. 
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