#those who dont have that base still might need the compliments so for Them they arent useless though | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xcrystalzero · 3 years

Text

it's called a starconch

pairing: childe x gn!reader

summary: a seashell shouldn't hold as much meaning as childe lets it. and yet, he can't seem to let go.

note: i think i'm going through my angsty teenage stage as a literal adult.... also this shit long, good luck! also SPOILER WARNING HERE FOR THE LIYUE ARCHON QUEST DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT FINISHED IT!!!!!!!

Childe had always loved the ocean. Coming from a little fishing village on the coast, the Snezhnayan ocean had always felt like home, but that wasn't the ocean he was talking about.

It was so warm here compared to his homeland, the coasts lined with fine golden sand that crumbled under his feet and shells of every color under the sun scattered about. One in particular caught his eye and Childe knelt down slowly to take it in his hand.

"It's called a Starconch!"

He nearly spun around in panic as the voice seemed to echo around him. He hadn't heard that voice in long enough that it almost sounded real, and yet, there was no way that could have been the case.

With a soft sigh, he turned his gaze back out towards the sea. Starconch...

~~~

Liyue was a country of colors. The moment he had first stepped off of the boat and into Liyue Harbor, he had been awed by the way that city seemed to shine. The warm light of a thousand lanterns hanging from every building he could see pushed back the darkness of night, bathing the place and the people in a golden glow.

And in that golden glow, he saw you.

"Welcome to Liyue Sir Tartaglia!" Your smile was warm like the city around you and yet, Childe sensed that it wasn't entirely genuine. "I am [name], a representative on behalf of the Liyue Qixing. It is an honor to have you in our harbor." Ah, that was why. Well, you were smart not to trust the Fatui who had just docked in the city you were meant to protect.

Well, two could play at that game. It took him but a moment to pull his usual grin to his face as he extended a hand. "Quite the warm welcome! Trust me, the honor is all mine."

He didn't miss the way the side of your mouth quirked slightly upwards at that as you regarded him with a somewhat bemused expression before returning the gesture.

"And please, call me Childe."

~~~

"Fancy seeing you here." Childe had been heading out on a request to monitor a Fatui base near the coast and had thought to grab some food for the road before he left when he saw your figure weaving between the various stands set up around Liuili Pavilion.

He wasn't sure how to feel about the way his heart seemed to jump at the sight of you though. It wasn't as though he didn't see you often. His position as a foreign diplomat and your role as a representative of the Qixing made it so that communication between you two was an all-too normal occurrence. Almost every day as luck would have it and yet, he wasn't sure if he would ever get bored of the prospect of running into you.

You turned to face him and Childe couldn't manage to hold back the laugh that erupted out of him. Your cheeks were puffed out like a chipmunk, likely filled with a huge bite of the pastry you were currently cradling protectively in your hands as though you thought he was going to steal it from you.

Your cheeks went red as you threw a hand up in front of your face as you finished your bite before turning a glare back on him. "What..."

"Hungry?" He teased, stepping around you to scan the stand's wares as he pulled his wallet out.

"Shut it..." You muttered, promptly folding the wrapping of your pastry up over the top and slipping it into your pocket. "I thought you were Ganyu... She's always yelling at me not to eat so many sweets but they're just so good..."

Childe chuckled at that, earning him another sideways glare from your direction. "Ah, so is that your weakness then?" He plucked a handful of fruits from the stall as well as a pair of lemon tarts sitting in a small container to the side, offering the money for them to the stand owner as he stowed them in his knapsack.

"What do you need to know about my weaknesses Fatui?" Ah yes, there is was. The thing that had drawn Childe to you in the first place. The city of Liyue was warm and so were the people, but there were times when for you, that warmth rose into a heated blaze. You weren't afraid to challenge him, to dart across the line drawn by diplomacy and come just close enough that he was tempted to chase after you when you retreated.

There was a slight smirk on your face as you waited for his answer. He sighed, shrugging with a soft smile. "I mean, it can't hurt right?"

"You're insufferable." He might have been offended if you actually meant that. Thankfully, that smirk was still there so he had nothing to worry about.

"Say, I'm going out to the coast right now for some inspections. You think you can spare a moment to come with me?" The question was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"Why me?" You questioned immediately, suspicion evident.

"U-Um... Well it'll be a little suspicious if a Fatui Harbinger just takes off out of nowhere right?" An awful excuse truly. There had been multiple instances already in his short time in Liyue that Childe had just taken off to get done whatever it was that he needed to get done. In fact, it was something of a known fact within the Bank that he enjoyed heading out for smaller tasks every once in a while just to get some combat practice and stretch his muscles. That being said, there was no way you knew that so...

"So you want someone to account for you, is that it?" you remarked, crossing your arms over your chest as you studied him.

"Well..."

"Okay sure."

He shouldn't have let his gaze fly up to meet yours as quickly as he did. He shouldn't have let the jolt of happiness he felt show in his eyes, or allowed his smile to become the slightest bit more real. But he did, and he was sure that you noticed.

"A-Alright then, let's go!"

~~~

"Well, that went well." You clapped your hands together, brushing off any dirt that had accumulated as you made your way down the shore, taking a seat on a small outcropping or rock placed conveniently in the shade of a large tree.

Childe trailed after, taking big, dramatic steps as he tried to keep the ever shifting sand out of his shoes. "Sure did..." He heard your laughter and despite the fake pout he wore, the sound was nothing less than heartwarming.

"Take your shoes off!" you encouraged, kicking your feet up to show that you had already done a much. After a moment of hesitation, he complied, slipping his boats off and tossing them to the side as he took a seat beside you, staring out at the ocean.

Childe would have loved to say that the silence was comfortable. However, the truth of the matter was that he felt strange. The crash of waves onto the shore was nearly drowned out by the pounding of his own heart as though the thing were beating inside of his head instead of his chest. Well, they had been moving for a while, maybe he was just tired. Or dehydrated. His palms were sweaty though, that was new... Likely just the fact that he was wearing his coat. He wasn't built for the warm Liyue climate after all!

"Childe?" Oh no, your hand was on his shoulder. His already deafening heartbeat felt as though it was speeding up further, the heat in his body seeming to concentrate at the point where your hand made contact with him.

Wait. None of this was normal. All of these feelings seemed to be related to you in some way or another. How strange. Was he ... nervous?

"You called?" He didn't recall thinking those words, but they were already out of his mouth, complete in true "Childe" fashion with a teasing tone and smile. Wow, he was even better at faking it than he thought.

"You were completely spaced out... Don't tell me a little inspection is all it takes to tire out a Fatui Harbinger!" It sounded like just another dig at him but Childe was sure that he heard just the slightest bit of concern hidden in your joking words. The realization did not help his current confusion in the slightest.

"Nothing wears me out! You on the other hand, look like you could use a snack. Now, if only someone brought one..." He tossed back before digging into his bag and pulling out the little carton holding the pair of lemon tarts he had purchased earlier that day. He didn't miss the way your eyes lit up before you pointedly glanced away.

"You think you can bribe me into being nicer to you?" you scoffed.

"Whenever did I say anything like that?" Childe popped open the top, holding the tray out to you. After a moment, you hesitantly reached out, plucking one of the little tarts out.

"Thanks..."

Childe smiled as he took the other half of the pair, immediately taking a huge bite out of the side, savoring the way the tartness of the lemon contrasted with the buttery, flaky crust. "Anytime!"

"I have something for you too..." Popping the last of the treat into his mouth, Childe turned to face you only to see that you were holding something out to him. Taking it immediately, he held it up to his face, turning it about in his hands in confusion.

"Is this, a shell?"

When he looked back at you for confirmation, he was somewhat surprised to see a slight blush beginning to spread over the tops of your cheeks.

"It's called a Starconch! They're native to Liyue so I didn't think you'd seen one before." you offered as clarification as Childe continued to inspect the little thing.

"It's pretty. But why for me?"

There was a pause. "It may have reminded me of you..."

There it was again. The panicked rhythm of his heart and the warmth and the confusion. "Oh? This shell did?"

"It... It looked like your eyes. It's kind of pretty..."

Childe's gravestone was going to look so stupid. Here lies Tartaglia, 11th Harbinger in service of the Tsaritsa. Defeated by a seashell and a compliment about his eyes.

"What are you looking at me like that for Fatui?" He was drawn back to his present, sadly still alive self and your blushing face as you awaited his reaction. He attempted to pull a self-satisfied smirk to his face, combing his mind for a response that was just the perfect balance of confident and joking and accepting, and came up empty.

He tried, he tried as hard as he could but he couldn't think of anything. Anything except you that was. Slowly, he set the Starconch down beside him as he turned fully to face you.

"[name]?"

"Yes?" To your credit, you showed no sign of wanting to retreat. He could see the flash of panic in your eyes as he suddenly came closer and yet, you made no move to pull away.

"Do you really think of me as just disgusting Fatui?"

"Huh?" Apparently, that had not been what you were expecting. You blinked twice, evidently confused.

"Is that what you think of me?" he reiterated, not daring to break eye contact in case it gave you a chance to pull away.

"I mean, you are definitely Fatui but I don't think of you as disgusting or anything..." You offered, eyes wide as though you weren't sure what answer he wanted from you.

"And just to be clear, an honorable representative of the Liyue Qixing wouldn't want to be seen with the Fatui right?" There was a slight waver in his tone that he couldn't seem to get rid of it. He hated it. Rather than the usual confidence that oozed from his every word, he sounded unsure. Hesitant even.

It was you who broke eye contact then, glancing down at your hands as you kneaded them nervously in your lap. "Well, they probably shouldn't..." His heart dropped. "But..."

Childe's eyes flew open as you pressed your lips against his, your own eyes squeezed so tightly shut he was sure it hurt. It took a second of coaxing but he found himself slowly leaning into you, hands coming up to wrap around your waist as yours coiled over his shoulders before traveling up into his hair. He felt you smiling into the kiss and the thought spurred him on as he pulled you in until you were all but sitting on his lap.

It wasn't particularly fiery or passionate or anything he believed your first kiss would be like, but there was something else there. It felt like release. When you began to pull away, Childe let out a soft whine, lips following yours as you drifted tantalizingly out of range.

"Relax harbinger." you drawled, glancing up at him with half-lidded eyes, your expression tempting enough that he almost threw himself at you right then and there. "We have all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere."

~~~

"I think this is turning into an actual problem."

Childe pouted in response to your remark as he continued to organize all of the starconches you had collected into neat little rows on the sand before you. There had to be at least 50 of them, all in different shapes and sizes of every shade blue one could imagine.

This had become your new ritual. Every free evening the two of you had, you would come back to this spot, the location of the first starconch exchange. What had started as a cute little bonding activity though, as with anything with Childe, had quickly become a competition. Now, it was a contest as the two of you continuously tried to one-up each other in finding the most beautiful starconch.

"It's fine! They're pretty right?" He turned towards you, stupid shit-eating grin plastered on his face. "They remind you of my eyes remember?"

You rolled your eyes as you straightened out the harbinger's less-than even rows. "Ah, how I regret saying that..."

"Rude!"

When all of the little shells had been perfectly arranged, the two of you stood back to consider them.

"I call the top right."

"Hey, I wanted that one!"

"Too bad, I was quicker."

Childe pouted again but didn't protest as he bent down to pick up the shell you had chosen and then one that he liked as well. When he reached out to offer it to you however, you reached for his other hand, grabbing the shell he had picked.

"Huh?"

You smiled. "You like this one and you like me, so I get this one. "

"I am ... confused," Childe confessed, though the smile adorning his lips contrasted his words. He reached for your free hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, tugging you away from your little shaded safe-haven and towards the water.

"Hey!" you protested though you let him pull you there, laughing the entire time. "What are you doing, we don't have a change of clothes!"

"Doesn't matter! It's a waste to come to the beach and never touch the water, don't you think?" Childe grinned as he pulled the two of you into the waves just in time for one to crash down, instantly soaking the two of you from waist down.

You gaped in faux shock as you swatted at the man's arm. "Childe!"

He laughed, a free, unrestrained sound unlike the one he was so used to performing in front of others when trying to remain the ever charming and relaxed Fatui diplomat the people of Liyue had to see him as.

Childe. He had told you to call him that. That was what everyone called him after all, and yet, it didn't sound right anymore. Not coming from you.

"Childe?" It was a question this time, as though you had been able to sense that something was amiss with your lover.

"Ajax," he replied.

"What?"

"Ajax, that's my name. My real one anyway."

Your eyes widened as you stared at him in shock, the hand you had resting against his arm slipping slowly down back to your side. "Is... Is it okay for you to tell me that?"

Childe scoffed, running a hand through his hair. Damn, this was more embarrassing than he thought it would be. It was just a name! "It's my name, and I want you to call me it. There shouldn't be a problem with that right?"

You stared at him for a moment longer before leaning in, placing soft lips against his for just a moment. "Alright then, Ajax. Don't regret it."

And then you dunked him, pushing him down the moment the enxt wave crested over you two. When he pulled himself back to the surface, sputtering in shock, there was a dangerous grin on his face.

"Oh, it's on now!"

~~~

"What's happening with that traveller you've been talking to recently?" There was nothing accusatory about your tone and yet, Childe couldn't help but hear is as an accusation.

"Nothing much," he shrugged. "They're looking for someone and the information they've dug up has been pretty useful so far."

"Useful huh..." Well now you were definitely suspicious. Childe felt bad about it, he really did, but there was no way he could involve you in any of this. His loyalty was to the Tsaritsa and he was required to carry out her orders. With your loyalty in line with the Qixing, he had no doubt that you would be at odds with the Fatui's plans in the coming weeks, but there was nothing he could do about that. What you didn't know couldn't hurt you.

If worst came to worst and he was forced to attack Liyue however, he had already made preparations. A quick look at your schedule for the coming weeks had confirmed that you were going to be taking a quick trip to Fontaine for some business you had chosen not to disclose with him. Not that he particularly cared what it was that you were doing, just that you would be gone when everything went south. As long as you weren't hurt, everything would be fine.

"They're a nice kid honestly! I introduced them to Zhongli yesterday and they seem to be getting along quite well!" Childe offered. You quirked an eyebrow at him, recognizing an olive branch when you heard it.

"I mean, Zhongli is a hard man to hate." You took the branch.

"Which reminds me, we're still on for dinner tonight right?" Childe could pat himself on the back for how smooth that conversation shift was. You seemed less impressed though as you rolled your eyes at him.

"I guess if I have to..."

"Hey!" You were laughing again and Childe felt his heart soften. He hated this game of keeping secrets from you, but if it kept you safe, kept you happy and content and laughing, he might be able to play the game for just a bit longer.

~~~

It felt like you were going to crush his ribcage, but Childe wouldn't have it any other way. He was sure that his grip on you was just as strangling as he buried his face in your neck.

Slowly, you pulled yourself away from him, eyes sad even as you mustered a smile to your face. "I'll be back in 3 weeks max okay! That's not that long!"

"Yes it is." Childe didn't mince his words and didn't miss your flinch at his statement. He wanted to badly to grab onto you and not let you take a step closer to that boat. To drag you back to his apartment with him and sit you down there until this was all over. But he couldn't.

You would be safer in Fontaine. You wouldn't be part of anything that happened. And best of all, if this all went fine, you wouldn't ever have to know what he did. He didn't want to lie to you, but he couldn't see a way around it this time.

Instead of voicing as much, he pulled you back in for a final kiss, not caring that there were definitely people watching and gaping at the show he was putting on. You hummed softly but didn't do much to fight him, letting him press himself into you as you gently brushed some stray strands of his way hair out of his face.

He only let go when the ship's captain sounded the horn in impatience, though his half-smile made it clear that he wasn't particularly mad at the young couple's display. You squeezed his hand once more.

"I'll see you soon okay Ajax."

"Be safe [name]." You nodded smiling at him once more before slowly detangling your fingers from his and making your way up the ramp onto the ship.

Childe waved until the ship had completely left the harbor, even when it was clear that there was no way you could still see him. When the shape of the ship had finally faded behind the sea fog, he grudgingly turned to make his way back to the Bank, only to be faced with a nervous looking Fatui recruit who nearly jumped when they made eye contact.

"M-Master Childe! There's some new information you should probably know about."

Childe raised his eyebrows in a silent question and when the recruit nodded, he took a slow breath it. So it was starting.

~~~

"Master Childe!" Ekaterina greeted him the moment he stepped through the doors of Northland Bank. He mustered the strength to give her a quick wave, even as his entire body ached at the slightest movement. The Foul Legacy transformation really was something but he wasn't sure he would ever truly get used to the backlash.

"How are you feeling?"

"Well enough," he lied. After that stunt that Signora and Zhongli had just pulled on him, he wasn't in the best mood at the moment. "What is the situation like?"

Ekaterina paused and Childe narrowed his eyes at the way some strange expression had crept suddenly onto her face. "What happened?"

"Well, you're quite the wanted man... It seems word has gotten out about your involvement in all this, though I'm not quite sure how..." The traveller huh? Well, that much was expected considering how things had gone. If only they hadn't gotten in his way. Of course, he had relished in the battle they had been able to share, but it would most definitely have been cleaner if they hadn't been around.

"That much is expected," he said with a soft laugh. Ekaterina offered him a thin smile, and that was when he knew that something was wrong. "There's something more isn't there?"

"Um... There was something..."

"Well, spit it out then."

"There were a few casualties in the event..."

"Really?" Childe was genuinely shocked by that. "Outside of the Millelith? I thought the adepti would have been able to protect everyone within the city."

"Yes well, most of the people in the city were fine... It's just, there were some just outside of the border..." Ekaterina fumbled with her words, eyes downcast in a way that was starting to worry Childe.

"Like?"

"Well, there was a ship that turned around because of a storm up ahead and ran straight into Osial's torrents," she finally spit it out, eyes flashing with panic when she finally looked back up at him.

"A ship? A ship..." Childe's blood ran cold. "A ship going where?"

"... Fontaine sir."

The next few moments may have been filled with silence to an outsider watching, but Childe's head was filled with a roaring. He heard voices and people and the sound of his blood rushing through his body and the air filling his lungs as he heaved in breath after breath. It was all just noise, there was so much noise.

Childe grabbed onto the counter as his feet collapsed from under him, breath coming in thick inhales as he struggled to gain purchase. No. This, this wasn't happening. There was no way.

"Where is the ship?" he managed to get out between breaths, eyes flashing up to Ekaterina. He wasn't sure if she squeaked in fright or it was just his delirious mind playing tricks on him, but she answered him anyway, hurt registering even in her voice.

"It washed up on shore this morning... There was no sign of anyone who had been on-board..."

This wasn't real. Childe's vision was starting to go dark, black edges creeping slowly inwards as he struggled to sit back up.

"That... That can't be possible. They're here. They probably made it back. They're waiting for me. I have to get to them." He attempted to push himself to his feet but all the strength in his body was gone. The black in his vision was growing and without warning, he found himself slumped against the cold tile of the Northland Bank floor.

"Master Childe!" Ekaterina's worried voice registered somewhere in his brain but the darkness was slowly encroaching.

His fingers attempted to clutch at something, only to find the chilly smoothness of tile beneath him. This was a dream, some fever nightmare brought on my the transformation. It was fine, he would open his eyes and everything would be fine. He could already see you, the little smirk on your face as you teased him for getting so worked up over nothing. Oh, you'd have a good laugh about this one.

And it was with the image of you in his mind that Childe passed out.

~~~

Childe barely remembered the weeks that had followed. He distinctly remembered not going to the funeral, partially because he would be arrested on the spot, but mostly because that would mean accepting it all, and he was not ready for that.

He still wasn't sure he accepted it.

And so, here he was. This wasn't your spot, the little cove with the rock and perfectly placed tree where you were constantly unearthing the most perfect starconches, but it was the Liyue shore, and that was all it took. Childe studied the shell in his hand for a moment, brushing the remaining flecks of sand off slowly as he did.

This was the prettiest one he had seen in a while. There weren't any visible cracks and the color was the richest blue, exactly like the one you had given him so long ago.

Childe considered the conch for a moment longer before sliding it into his pocket and turning away from waves.

"Why? Why won't you move on?"

Childe sighed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat as he trudged up the shore. The little shell rubbed against his fingers and even though he knew there was no one there, he spoke out loud.

"It reminds me of you. Everything does."

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin fic #genshin impact fic #childe #tartaglia #genshin tartaglia #childe genshin impact #genshin childe #childe x reader #childe x you #childe x y/n #ajax #genshin ajax

149 notes · View notes

tomodachi-z · 3 years

Text

A different take on their relationships

So I was scrolling through the genshin thread and soon came to a realization that most of the relationship Hc’s were pretty fluff based, which got me thinking - was that really all there was? Even if Genshin was a heartfelt game i couldnt really believe that all of them would be pure husband material - which sort of spiraled into this.

- This is purely my take on how some of the Genshin boys would approach relationships, its just some random thoughts though so take it as you will.

Characters: Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe

Tw: angst, abuse, toxic relationships, mentions of death, just overall scummy behavior.

Slight NSFW

Minors DNI

Zhongli

Honestly, out of the whole lot of them i think he’d be the most civil. Apart from his bad traits that is.

First of all I dont believe Zhongli would actively pursue a relationship, however he would be open to it, though the chances of it being a special “love at first sight” is practically zero. Hes lived thousands of years and seen humanity evolve as a whole, hes met millions of people over the years and peoples faces really arent that different, they just blur together at this point. So if we were to go by that logic, his love interest would have to be someone he interacts with on a day to day basis - or at the very least weekly.

If he was starting to develop an attachment to you, I believe he would also be fairly upfront about it, asking you out and courting you wouldn't be anything new, he’s had lovers before after all.

But this is where it starts to get a bit off-putting. Even if your relationship is sailing along fine, he’d still compare it to the others he’s had. Your taste in clothing, your choice of books, how you style your hair. Every now and again he’d utter something like “Ah ___ used to style their hair like that.” Or “Your eyes are so familiar, just like ___...” in which case the blank space is a previous lovers name. Not that he’d divulge that to you. Even if you ask him about the people he keeps mentioning he’d brush you off and change the subject. Though sometimes he forgets himself and calls you by a different name.

He would also never tell you he’s a God. And you wouldn’t find out either.

Hes hidden it from the whole of Liyue, why would you be any different? His role as Archon was over anyway so there would be no point to it.

So you would live your life never finding out about him, not ever truly reaching his heart, because his heart is already filled to the brim with memories, and whatever little space you occupy there would also fade along with your passing. You would have no children, for I truly believe that Zhongli just would not want children, his one and only child would remain Liyue, and your name would be uttered in passing, when he confuses his next lover with you.

Happy Ending?

Zhongli would still love you

He would cherish and comfort you

But there was nothing in this world more lonely than immortality.

He would love again but it would only repeat the cycle unless he truly comes to terms with himself.

It would take a lot of time, perhaps even an eternity, but I believe that his past relationships would actually help him realize something.

That even though humans were much the same he loved you all individually.

At the end of time he would recount each one of your names, in the hopes that you would take him with you, so that he could finally apologize.

Diluc

I honestly believe he just does not want a relationship. Not now anyway, not when hes 20+ years old. So the thought of him forming a crrush on you or any sort of real romantic attachment would also be pretty slim. He’d be your friend, sure, your best friend even, but when it comes to being your boyfriend? It wouldn’t be what you think it is.

If he does form a relationship with you its because you confessed, and you asked him whether or not he was willing to give it a go, and considering you already know each other so well he didn't really see a reason why not. Though it wasn't out of love that he’d agree.

I do believe that he’d still be a gentleman, he would send you flowers, and he would take you on walks, he would also give you gifts, but all of those were just out of courtesy. He was taught to behave like a gentleman, and so he would.

He would never be available, always working, always busy, never in a good mood. “Don't bother me, I'm busy.” He’d coldly order. And if you tried to do something nice to him like cook him a meal whilst he’s working he’d just tell you not to bother, the butler can make it better than you so why even try.

You would be a hitch in his schedule, an added task every day, another time consuming detail he had to take into consideration. But considering he was the one who agreed to the whole idea, he would simply have to deal with it.

As for intimacy, it would be rare. He’d kiss you just because he was curious how it would feel, he’d fuck you just because you asked him to, and sure he might have enjoyed it, you even said you enjoyed it, but it wouldn't become a regular thing between you two. He would come home exhausted, sore and half asleep, so on most days you can expect him to share simple words of greeting before he falls asleep.

If you got tired of it he would just let you go, both of you could see it wasn't working, so why bother try to fix it. You deserve better than him, a man that would love and cherish you, but right now, he simply cannot.

Those are your parting words, he wishes you luck and thanks you for your patience, whether or not you remain friends after that is really up to you.

Happy Ending?

What Diluc needs more than anyone else is time

Time to really heal

Time to forgive himself

Time to start loving the world again.

And I believe he would learn to do those things if time was given.

He would one day realize that his heart yearned for something other than day to day work, something that you tried to show him long ago.

He would fall in love eventually, perhaps not with you, but he would finally open his heart.

He would love earnestly and faithfully till the end of his days.

Kaeya

He’s well known as a flirt in Mondstat, he’s slept with people around town and chances are that’s how he first met you. Whether you slept with him or rejected him didn’t matter, what he was after was your looks after all.

He’d seduce you with praise and compliments, he’d lavish you with gifts and roses, as long as you give him something in return that is.

If you didn’t it wouldn’t really bother him much, he’d simply abandon the thought of you and turn his eyes on another pretty face, if you ever ask him about why he suddenly stopped he’d respond with “I don’t like wasting my time sweetheart.”

However if you give in to his seductions I believe he would eventually start enveloping the idea about being your boyfriend, the idea of you being his and him being yours was tempting for sure. It would take a while but he would also stop flirting so shamelessly with other people, he no longer saw a reason for it now that you were his after all.

But he would never truly yield his heart to you, always keeping secrets, always masking his emotions with sly words. I don’t think he’d ever really open up about his past or about the depths of his mind. But he would love you, and he would protect you, he would cherish you the only way he knew how, by keeping you in the dark, lest you regret your decision in loving him.

Happy ending?

His habits would change as he grows older

They would truly shift when he sees his first child in your arms.

He would cry, not even knowing why

He would fall so helplessly in love with the thought of a happy future and he would be terrified by it

But if you stay by his side, if you make him believe he can have a happy life and a future with you

He would give you the world, if only you make him believe those words.

Childe

Honestly the worst out of all of them.

Now, I firmly believe that he also would not pursue a romantic relationship if given a choice, but his heart is fickle and easily swayed by his own emotions, so when he sees you pop up every now and again he’d undoubtedly would act on his feelings.

He’d charm you, wine and dine you and treat you like a princess if you so wished. He would make sure you had everything you had ever wanted, he’d make promises of love and marriage, but after he gets what he wants, he would leave you.

Just like that, without a word, without a note, nothing. So when you see him after months of confusion, guilt and regret you would ask him why he had left, and all he would say is “What else did you expect?” He’s a Fatui after all, and he has no time for thoughts of tomorrow or promises for the future. His eyes would hold no warmth as he noted that the interaction was rather fair in his eyes, he had treated you like a princess after all.

He has no time to think of anyone else but his family and his duty to Tsaritsa, you were just a toy he liked playing with for a while till you got boring, now move before he breaks you.

Happy Ending?

Now I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone

Even for someone like Childe

But that someone would have to be exceptional - someone with a commanding sense of self respect, someone with purpose and belief, someone with a fate of their own.

They wouldn't have to be a fighter or even an adventurer, but they would have to be a force of their own to be able to show Childe what kind of life he was truly living.

He knew he was in hell, but meeting someone like that would make it all the more apparent

But if they reached out their hand to him, if they gave him a chance.

He believed he would see a world in colors he never knew existed.

And he would love truly and openly, he would shed his heart to them and only them.

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #childe #diluc #zhongli #kaeya #kaeya x you #zhongli x you #childe x you #diluc x you #genshin angst #tw

120 notes · View notes

sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years

Text

“Just a Few Days”

Summary- Bucky x Y/N. Bucky hadnt been home for long, but is sent back out on a mission. You and him decide on how to spend his time home once he gets back. Written for @the--sad--hatter The Weird and The Wonderful- writing challenge. Congrats babes on your milestone! Prompt is written in bold. Smut. Written in the same verse as Changes

Word Count- 3.1k

“You really think you can pin me Barnes?” You taunted the super soldier while the two of you circled the mat, giving him a taunting grin. His movements were almost cat like, slinking along on pads of his bare feet, his hands flexed in a relaxed manner at his side. He knew, you werent easy to catch. Flexible and quick as you were, this morning in the early hours of dawn you managed to pin him easily in the bed. Kisses raining down from your sweet lips to travel down his body as you wrapped your hands around his erection. You had smirked at him then in a similar way you were now.

His sweat pants hid the tensing of muscles, preparing his move. “As long as I stay away from that pretty mouth of yours I can.” You smirk, recalling the blow job you given this morning. Bucky could see you were distracted at his words and he reached for a grasp. Your hand coming up to block his hold and jab out with one of your own, twisting around to his back, you scramble onto his shoulders, a move Nat so nicely shared with you, his head clasped between your thighs, you throw your weight forward, the two of you falling forward. You promptly slap the ground with your arms, and move into a roll. Bucky, prepared for it rolled as well and landed back on his feet to your back.

“You had no problem with my mouth this morning” You huff out and still in the midst of sparring, he wraps his arm around your neck and slams you back to his chest, chuckling near your ear. “I would say my biggest weakness Doll. And check” Hes taunting you again, knowing you always hesitated attacking him. This is your chance to escape or relent the match to him, and you fall back to the age old tried and true. Your foot slamming down in the instep of his leg, and elbow sharply jarring back into his abdomen.

An oof backed him up, and you spun around to see Bucky grinning at you and rubbing where your elbow clipped him. “Damn good Y/N, I was hoping you would break loose.” You blush at the compliment, and move over to him, placing your hand where you got him. “Im sorry, I know you say to attack fully, but I still feel guilty about it.Doesnt hurt right?” Silly question you know, but still....

“I know you do Doll, and no. More of a surprise then anything, ive had worst.” His arm slung over your shoulder and he kissed your forehead just as Sam entered the ring, carrying a tablet with him. You get a sinking feeling, you know what it means.

“You two call that foreplay? take it to your room.” Sam joked and Bucky muttered a “shut up Wilson, what you got?”

“Listen I know you just got back, but this is an in and out case, and Steve figured you would want in on this one.” You glance over the details, a hydra base, an old one. From the notes it claimed Bucky might have been associated with its operation back in the day and might still be in semi activity now. Your hand rubs against his back when you feel him stiffen at your side, knowing he just saw the same information you had. “How long will we be gone?” you noted a hint of weariness in his voice, hesitation.

“Couple days, few at best. Were gonna be headed out in an hour.”

Of course they were.

Little later, you and Bucky are getting ready for your goodbyes, so soon, you hated it since he had just gotten back. “Hey Doll, just a couple days. When I get back, Im taking a few weeks, screw ‘em all. Me and you will get out of here. Wherever we want to go.” Bucky did his best to bring a smile back to your face.

You brighten much to his relief at the suggestion, nodding” I would really like that.” a mischievous glint shines in your eyes and you lower your voice in a tease as you glance over his shoulder to where Steve is getting on the jet. “Can we just go on the road without telling anyone and call Steve to tell him were MIA for a while?”

Bucky laughs and nods, tilting your chin up to place a teasing deep kiss goodbye on it. “We can although Steve rather likes rebellion. You might get a better reaction out of Tony. I will see you in a few days doll, I love you.”

“Love you to Sargent, I will see you when you come home.”

He turned to walk away, a glance over his shoulder showed you flashing him a smile and a little wave, the lights behind you shimmering around your form in a silhouette. It would be one of the moments he would think back on later. Sam said its just a couple days.

Turns out Sam is a god damn liar.

What was one base turned into following leads to others still functioning. Flushing them out, chasing another lead, it had been weeks at this point, and to say Bucky wasnt kicking himself for jumping back into it all so soon would be an understatement. At about the third week mark, he had enough of being around the rest of the team on the jet, and set out to camp in the run down base. Setting up his site, he was soon joined by Steve and Sam.

“I dont remember giving yall permission to take up in my space.” Bucky growled, kicking open his sleeping mat, and wishing sorely that it was your bed, with your soft words filling his mind and warm body wrapped around his. Not these two fuckers who thought that this was home as they made themselves all cozy as fuck. Yea, he was in a bad mood. “And you said this was just gonna be for a couple days.” he growled slightly at Sam, who was unaffected by Buckys mood.

“You know how these things go Buck.” Steve said from where he was patching his suit, his large fingers nimble as he threaded the needle and dragged his suit in his lap. “But it will just be a few more days I think. Have you called Y/N today?” HIs friend never looked up from his mending and Bucky went from pissed off to resigned, digging into his gear to find the stark phone Tony gave all of you. “No... but I am.”

Leaving the two of them behind, he stepped out into the night, glancing at the time. It would be mid afternoon for you, you would be busy training recruits with Barton and Romanoff, or in the field, unlike him though, closer to home. How he wished he was there now, he missed you terribly. Regardless, he would leave you a voice message, knowing that it would cheer you up.

“Hey Doll, I miss you like fucking crazy babygirl. I hope things are better at home then here. I cant go into much details, but they basically just have us chasing leads. Steve did say just a few more days...” He snorted a bit, and brushed his hand through his hair in frustration. “Anyways, be sure to have your bag packed, cause the minute I land, were leaving. Well, maybe two. I mean a man has needs after all, and I have missed your sweet lips of yours. Those killer thighs wrapped around me to. Okay... Love you always Beautiful.” Hanging up, he sighed and tilted his head up to look at the full silver moon, making him think of you once more. You loved those aesthetic pictures, the way the stars shimmered around the giant orb, it made him recall looking back at you waving goodbye. Your braid laying over your shoulder and you kept that upbeat look on your face, the lights, they shimmered around you and it made his chest ache for you all over again. Lifting his phone, he snapped a picture.

Over the next week, his message and the picture was what you fell back to, making you smile when you found yourself missing him. Often during the busy meetings where you were busy helping set up recruit schedules, moments training when you wondered what move would he be using on the person in the ring, to lonely nights fading into mornings, where you laid there, trying to find sleep and missing his heavy body enveloping yours in that protective hold of his. This particular night, you were laying in a half slumber when you heard it. The front door click, and then Buckys rough voice remarking on the softer side in case you were sleeping.

“Son of a bitch keys and this dumb ass lock always sticking.”

You hear his voice and grab his henley you discarded on the floor to yank on and race down the hallway to your front room, he dropped his bag on the floor and held open his arms to you that left you giving a squeal of excitement, jumping into his arms. “You bastard I missed you!” you rush your words, wrapping your arm around his neck and kissing him fiercely.

“I couldnt tell” He growled as his hands slid along your bare ass, and squeezed firmly, arching his brows at your naked behind. You grin and nip at his lips, rolling your hips against him in a tease. “I knew you were coming home.”

“Uh huh, sure you did. Its hot your just wearing my shirt. But I want that off in two fucking seconds while you get that cute little ass of yours back to the bedroom.” Releasing you, you fall to the balls of your feet, sprinting back towards the bedroom while discarding the henley, hopping on the bed. Bucky sauntered to the room, shedding clothing as he went along,kicking off boots, yanking off a shirt, ripping pants off his legs. When he entered the bedroom, there you were, kneeling so pretty in the center of the bed, biting the tip of your finger as you watched him, while palming your breasts, teasing yourself just for him. He lastly yanked off his boxers and sure enough, he was aching to have you pinned underneath him, you could tell from the way his erection throbbed.

You beckoned him forward, not that he needed any encouraging as he hovered over you and pushed you back, hard kisses swelling your lips, tongue claiming your mouth and moans he ripped from you. Oh yes, this is what you been missing, his hand tight at your waist as it slid you back to stretch beneath him. Your hands wrapped around his sides to dig into his back and legs bending to grasp his waist between your knees. “You miss me sweet girl?” He asked between nips and kisses down your neck, slipping his hand between your thighs to slip through your slick, and find that sweet little trigger that as soon as he circled around it had you wriggling. It made you want more, and to chase a rush.

“As much as you missed me Sargent” You whine out, rolling your hips up to press into his erection, rocking back and forth against him. His eyes glowered almost dangerously at you, his pupils blown in his arousal, and then his fingers turned a little harder, a little quicker, just to make you tense and wriggle underneath him all pretty like you were. “Your right Doll I have missed you, missed feeling you clutch around me because your so fucking needy for my cock.” He fingers stretched your wet channel, and you cried out his name in a breathless moan, nodding in agreement. “Yes Bucky, fuck yes please. Fuck me... “

He bit on her shoulder in a bruising kiss, and shifted himself to better line up to you.”Since your looking pretty here asking me...” Grasping himself, he slicked his cock between your folds, pressing against your entrance to feel you stretch around him, both of you moaning at the sensation, mouths opened against one another, not in a kiss, but gasps shared. Your nails are driving Bucky wild as they dig almost painfully into his back just to feel you holding on. Shifting your legs to fold over him, you tighten him to sink in further, bottom himself fully in you. “Fuck Doll... this is a perfect home coming.”

You hum underneath him in agreement, pressing your face now into his shoulder and his first thrust to claim you made you whimper his name in that needy way, that urged him to continue, rolling hips to touch you everywhere and you rolled back to meet him. Bucky pulled away enough to ease you away from his shoulder and chained kisses down your collarbone and plumped a breast so that he could claim a nipple that was a tight little bud, the warmth moisture of his mouth making you arch into his mouth, sucking in more and pulling the sensitive skin from his mouth. He was marking you across your breasts, and you were sure at your neck when he claimed that flesh again, tipping your head back into the pillow to give him more room.

“Make sure everyone can see Im yours Sargent.” You pant out, knowing that everyone would see his kisses all over your skin, and what kind of homecoming it was. Shameless you were, letting everyone know that Bucky owned you. His growl vibrated through you, making you giggle softly and then gasp when his next thrust hit you just right, and he lifted his head, eyes shining bright to see your ruined face, jaw popped open, your eyes squeezed shut and crying out when he did it again. Once he felt you start to unravel, he never slowed aiming for that spot, that sweetness that left you crying his name over and over, clutching him as if there was nothing else you were capable of. Just ride it all out.

Bucky grasped your jaw and gave a light shake,to make you look at him. “Your eyes open, I want to see you cum for me.” Your lids flutter open further to try and follow his request, eyes rolling up as you start flexing harder around him. “Thats right Doll, dont keep holding back.” He groaned, licking over your lips, sucking your bottom lip and tangle his tongue around yours. Pining your hips in place to give hard quick thrusts, chasing the start of your orgasm with his own, and your bodies slammed together to rock, you were soft, and he was hard, the two of them folding together in a tangle of limbs. Bucky rolled you two over so you clutched to his chest, milking his cock for everything, and hiding your face in his shoulder, shaking. He jerked a few more slow pumps into you while riding out his own and his hands loosened there hold on your hips, sliding up your side with one hand and down to cup your ass, and keep you pressed in close.

His touch was soothing for you, and you hummed against his shoulder, lifting away enough to look down at him, kissing his lips softly with a grin. “Ahhh, well that was nice. So when you headed out on your next mission?” You teased and he growled, flipping the two of you back over, his kiss less urgent and fierce, this time it was teasing while he dragged down your body. “Your my next mission.”

You were his next mission, several more times that night until early morning.

You happened to waken first, and lifted your head to see his head tipped back and soft snores showed just how tired he was, so you were gentle to shift to the edge of the bed, preparing to get up and make coffee when his arm snaked out, catching you around your hips, sliding you back. Bucky had shifted down enough in bed to nuzzle his head in the softness of your chest, your fingers easing to brush through his hair, and watch him. “Im just going to make us some coffee Sarge.” and he inhaled deeply against your skin, finally lifting his head. “Just a few more minutes here, then I will let you go.”

You werent going to say no to that, and you remained where you were, gentle still as your fingers kept sliding through his hair, spiking it further from the bed head he already had. Finally he shifted into a sit, and went to the bathroom, groaning as he rubbed his face on the way there. Taking that as your cue, you rolled up out of bed to go make that coffee, putting on his shirt once more and a pair of sleep bottoms. Picking up the clothing he had lost through the front room and hallway on your way to the kitchen.You then ditch the pile on the couch, making your way towards the coffee pot, humming happily to yourself.

He finished and put on clean boxers before going to find his clothes from the night before, digging out his phone to check messages. “Hey you are all set to head out later right Doll?” He called as he wandered towards the kitchen where you were nowhere to be found. Looking around, he saw that the back door was halpf open, figuring you went for the fresh air, he stepped out to see you leaning against the railing, watching the sun ease up through the line of pine trees that edged the compound. Bucky went up behind you, and wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his chin against your shoulder watching as well.

“The world seemed to shimmer at the edges.” You lean back into his chest lightly. “Just as the sun came up, its been a while since ive seen that.” Your head tips up and kisses the side of Buckys face, and his hands rub along your hips, tipping to return the gesture, rubbing his chin against your neck and shoulder. It had been a while, but you were his world, and for him, you were always that shimmering outline waving him back home.

“You said something about heading out Buck?”

“Yea Doll.” He smiled happily “Later today, were sneaking out and hitting the road.”

“Lets just go get that coffee, shower, and Im all set to go.”

Sure enough later that day, your leaning against Buckys shoulder and holding up your phone, snapping a picture of you and Bucky, your hair hair whipping around from the open windows, both of you wearing sunglassws with open road showing in the in the background. You sent it to Steve who responded back with a simple text. ‘Dont do anything I wouldnt do you two.’

Telling Bucky, he grinned and put his foot down harder on the gas pedal, putting miles between them and responsibilities.

@p8tn0lish @what-is-your-plan-today @official-and-unstable-satan @that-damn-girl @jtargaryen18 @stardancerluv

#fluffybucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #marvel #soft and fluffy #writing challenge #ambers writing #sweater writes #sebastian stan #sam wilson #steve rogers #smut #bucky smut #soft smut

246 notes · View notes

dear-yandere · 4 years

Text

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!!

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian.

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two: hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

#asks collection #not a fic #vanya rambles #[ vanya LITERALLY rambles ]#[ life's hard when you're this asocial i swear fgmnfgnmfg ]#[ now to answer concept asks ]

9 notes · View notes

shay11a · 4 years

Text

New Rules, an overly long review

Alright, let’s do this.

I’ll just start with a little disclaimer that english is not my first language and although I’m usually fluent-ish some of my sentences might not translate very well from french, so please bear with me. Also this i like barely edited so sorry about the mistakes.

I’m here to talk about my favorite fanfiction, not only in this fandom, but in all fandom (and trust me, I’m a part of a lot of fandoms), and of all the fanfictions I’ve ever read (and trust me I’ve read a lot) : New Rules by the amazing @tayegi

The first time I read, I binge read it, but make no mistake, I don’t mean that I rushed though the story in one day, oh no, I mean I couldn’t do anything else, every minute of my day that I wasn’t in class or adulting, I was reading it, but it’s one of those rare fictions where I knew I was reading something just that good that I needed to make it last as much as possible. Imagine my struggle, balancing the need to know what was going to happen next and my visceral need to make it last as much as possible because I knew I could never experience this first reading again.

That’s how much I love this story.

Unfortunetaly, there came a time I caught up.

So I re-read it.

Again.

And Again.

To this day, I often come back to it, re-reading entirely or picking up at any point to enjoy again a moment that I particularly like. I do this often with fiction I particularly liked, but one thing that I find amazing with NR is that, contrary to most fic, no matter where I pick up, I know what is happening, what happened before that, because the plot is just so wonderfully crafted that everything has consequences, every character is relevant and their actions have consequences that they are held accountable to by the plot (dunno is this makes sense but it does in my native language sorry) I regret not posting a review under every chapter as I read, it was selfish on my part, but I needed to continue, I have some notes from this review at the end but they lack the specificity of first impressions, I apologize for that.

I also have to mention that this review is NOT spoiler free so if you want to read it please, PLEASE New Rules before that there is absolutely NO way that you won’t thank me (and Tayegi of course) afterwards, and don’t ‘I don’t mind spoilers’ me this story DESERVES to be read spoiler free.

Alright, buckle up kiddos, let’s do this.

I. The writing

The way the plot unveils is downright cathartic. I recently re-read it entirely to make this review and going back to the first chapters and seing how everything just MAKES SENSE and how a small thing happening has consequences over everything later. Just HUH brilliant. (I’m thinking about OC’s crush on Jimin here and how through the prism of Mijoo we later see that her crush was her projecting // Jin, now THAT’S WRITING)

The smut, how do I put it, is bomb but it doesn’t feel like smut smut, it feels like actual sex described, not idealized and in my opinion it just adds to the quality of the story, because sex is an essential part of the story, not something added to satiate the hormones of horny readers (as an ex-horny teenager, I want to thank people writing this kind of smut and say that there is nothing wrong with writing this kind of smut) or just for the sake of it because apparently having sex is the culminating point of a relationship. Sex scenes tell a story as much as argument scenes, if not more. First, because as a sex friends to lover AU (smh) it is inherently part of the story but also because the characters don’t just stop having a backstory, emotions and emotional baggage when they have sex, all those things are still present and they influence the way they act in bed. And THAT is satisfying to read.

On many occasions, in the fanfic writing community, you can hear (read?) people saying, « this fiction could / should be published like an actual book » I’m not here to further the debate on real literature, fanfiction and so what not, but this fiction is one that, more importantly than it being published, I feel like I could study in english class, take an extract and study the amazing characterization, how the scene furthers the plot, what are the literary devices used to do so. I feel like I could study the running metaphors, the sub plots and how they correlate so well to the main plot and further the characterization of a character, the plot itself or something else. Everything feels like a neatly knitted masterpiece.

In that aspect, one scene that I particularly liked was the one where OC is hidden listening to JK and Hyejin, and as she hears what he says, she crushes the rose in her hand. It’s such a simple and yet telling idea: her bourgeoning love and hope for a romantic relationship symbolized by the ultimate romantic symbol : a rose, and JK’s words make her try and crush those feelings, but she hurts herself doing so, because the action itself is a painful one — trying to refrain hope / trying to suffocate feelings — but also because love, just like roses has thorns that may hurt, that’s why JK is so afraid of committing it seems, and the irony is that he is doing exactly that to someone else. (My explanation is so messy plfnmesdmflfmqf sorry)

One recurring idea/plot device that I have noticed is the one of misunderstanding / misreading each others. OC and JK constantly misread each others (I’m thinking about the scene in the bar where she rubs his back affectionately and he interprets it in a sexual way) and idk but something about this really hits me hard, because it’s human, so inherently human, this makes the characters feel like human beings not fictional archetypes. Because in real life, we can’t take a step back and have a view of the bigger picture the way we can as an omniscient reader who remembers very well what one said or did earlier that explains their behavior. In real life we dont know and cannot guess why people act a certain way based on some hinted at tragic backstory that would explain their commitment issues.

On a lighter note, the writing is just so freaking FUNNY, like I can’t count how many times I cackled like an idiot reading. + Tayegi has a way of cutting from scenes to scenes or from dialogue to dialogue that is just so FUNNY (if it was a movie I would talk about editing because it’s exactly how it feels, like when you got A saying ‘I will never do that’ and it cuts and the next frame is A doing exactly that)

More on the writing in the notes for every chapter further below.

II. Feminism, social justice and me relating to everything

Ok this part is going to be a bit more personal but I had to address how much main girl and her struggles resonated with me. As a feminist myself I VERY often struggles with the same problem : that is when my beliefs come brutally crashing with the social constructs I have internalized and have yet to deconstruct as well as the people surrounded me who don’t necessarily share the same belief. And the way Tayegi portrayed this is spot on not to say borderline genius.

Her mixed feelings when facing Hoseok « not like other girls » comments or the conversation where she struggles to explain why she is fucking the notorious fuckboy despite her talks about hook-up culture were punches in the guts to me, because feminists are always the ones to be criticized the most easily (I am aware that my phrasing here is horrendous but I don’t know how to word this differently again sorry English is not my native language) and the slightest slip-up will be pointed at by people who aren’t even feminist but see an easy way to gaslight them. So, to read this, to read another woman facing the same situations and being as utterly upset and sometime powerless as I felt, god was it cathartic.

And don’t get me started on the way she always ALWAYS sticks by her principles of sorority, even to the women that have been nothing less than mean to her and how hard it is to support other women when we live in a society that always pit women against each others. I FELT that. But nevertheless main girl tries to, she compliments Somin on her dress, Hiejin as well even though they both have been openly hostile (and even mean sometimes) to her. I truly felt this, all theses little moments, just a sentence here and there, but I felt them in my guts.

III. The characters

The characters, oh god, the characters. OC ? Marry me. JK? Marry me (also I want to slap him but it’s another story). Taehyung ? Marry me. Mijoo? Marry me.

The relationship between OC and her BFF is in my opinion one of the best thing about the pic and one that really remarks it from other, the twist about twist alsmot made me believe it would be like every other pic where oc ends up with virtually no friend (especially female ones because like everyone know girls cause drama riiiight ) but it happens so early ? How could it ooooh it’s not like that, OC and her BFF and mature enough to discuss it, it still has consequences, the scene where OC accuses BFF of pushing her onto Jk to make herself feel better about jimmy still gives me chills because, yeah, it makes sens that she would, and it kinda feels like she did with how insistant she has been, but again, we are told the story from OC’s perspective, so obviously she feels bad when BFF insists that her and JK are meant to be bc she knows that JK wouldn’t date her, but again, as readers, we can kinda see from BFF perspective, they indeed look perfect for one another and only misunderstanding and insecurities and Jk’s past seems to be in the way (okay granted when you say it like that it seems like a lot), but in the end, Mijoo also seems genuine in the way she pushes them together, even though, yeah she might have, consciously or not done it for that reason.

i don’t know if I want a happy ending for OC and JK, I want one because they are so good and sweet together and after everything they’ve been through I feel like they sort of deserve it, but after everything they’ve been through, especially the way JK has behaved, it seems hard for a happy ending to happen. I feel like it’s going to take a lot of time and talking (including his backstory that has been hinted at a few times wink wink) for them to work things out, if they work things out.

I’ve mentioned that before but : THE SORORITY oh lord where do I start? OC standing up for Hyejin and Somin even when they had a few rough patches, sign me the fuck UP. OC not turning totally on her best friend Mijoo (my girl btw) and overlooking their friendship and what she had done for her in the time of Jin because Mijoo made a selfish mistake ? Yes please, MORE.

Hoseok is, in my opinion, spot ON. It took me some time to exactly pin point who he reminded me of but then I realized he is exactly what I call the 'apolitical guy’, who is convinced to not have controversial opinion and would deny ever having prejudice when he clearly has (i.e. the scene where Oc calls him out on his misogynie

I have to admit that Hyejin and Somin are amongst my favorites because even though the plot (and the fact that we are basically supposed to be on OC’s side as the story is told from her perspective) makes them very unsympathetic, your writing allows us to understand their actions and empathize with them. Learning about Hyejin’s past with JK makes her look like the character of a fan fiction where she could have been the main character unfortunately for her, this is OC’s story so Hyejin can’t get the guy in the end. But truly, her backstory feels like an entire other ff in the story and to be honest basically every other character’s backstory as well as the subplots feel this way. And Somin, well Somin is basically going through the same thing as OC but with Hoseok so how can we mock her for it while crying for OC ? That’s impossible and that’s why your writing is so powerful, there is no clear ‘bad guy’ (appart from J*n but who cares about that roquefort face) and everyone is in that gray, humane area.

Every character has so many layer (I don’t count JK and OC in this because at this point we can’t talk about layers anymore it’s a damn millefeuille) and getting to discover more about them is amazing.

Basically, every side character reflects something on OC and JK and further the plot, the themes while feeling like their own individuals with their own complex thoughts and problems and I think that’s fucking brilliant.

And now onto my notes for every chapter (it’s low-key very messy sorry)

Chapter 1 :

Lord to thing that it started with a simple friend request :’)

I love how in the very first line, OC telling Mijoo how she knows JK instantly characterizes him to the reader, it’s smart BUT also characterize OC as someone quick witted and serious/professional but also very sarcastic, funny and taking no shit from anyone. Incipit done well here. I mean, so much exposition is crammed into the very first lines but it just feels soooo natural!

I also love how the dynamic between Mijoo and OC can appear « basic » but will later be revealed to be so much more complex and profound and that’s basically how everything in this fic just keep getting better and more complex as you read.

Also, I love how OC and JK’s first encounter is because they are both trying to help their best friends, I missed it in the first reading but it’s so telling of their characters. Also I appreciate OC not hating on JK just because she hates him from afar and he suddenly notices her and gets turned on by that (like in a lot of ff let’s not lie, I love myself some bad boy!AU but it’s getting redundant), she genuinely seems to not give a fuck about him and it’s so funny to me somehow, my girl just minding her business, getting her straight A’s and doing charity work, we stan. Also, the entire part where they complain about Jimin and Mijoo is downright hilarious

I really like the way JK says the poetry assignment is easy, hinting at the fact that he is, in fact, not a stupid fuckboi cliché (+ what happens with their presentation and him working his BUTT of)

The entire part where OC and Jk act like they are together is so DAMN FUNNY but at the same time it just shows that they have great chemistry from the get go and I love that. (But seriously it’s so f*ing funny)

I love they way OC’s crush on Jimin is brought up, it’s not outwardly said, but the way he is described form her pov makes it obvious and her helplessness when looking at him and Mijoo is just so heartbreaking (+ getting to me on a personal level since I’ve been in a very similar situation for years so :))) like, you can feel that she doesn’t want to be feeling this way, and is obviously trying to help her BFF and be selfless but cannot help but feel jealousy.+ JK immediately catching up on her crush, showing he is more observant than you’d think.

JK and OC being dumb & dumber AND partner in crime is everything I’ve ever wanted

The description of the feeling of loneliness post-parties is so accurate, and the way she feels is so relatable and heartbreaking.

The part about anguish and the way she feels suffocated by her feminine attire got to me and honestly I got really close to cryingThe end of the chapter upsets me in the best way, to see JK be so oblivious to how vulnerable and lonely OC is, man it really makes the entire thing so much more gutswrenching.

Highlights (basically lines that made me laugh or that I find particularly well written) :

“then I don’t know why he’s friended you”

“should I block him too?”

“can you get you get more obvious without tattooing ‘Park Jimin’ on your ass? It’s obvious he owns it anyways”

“why does this kid has so many shirtless selfies”

“it’s like this boy is like a walking cliché of the world’s most basic fuckboi” I see what you did here ;)))

“Ah… you knew?” The way I laugh EVERY time at this line

“Would you be really mad at me if I poured this all over your boobs?“ alkfnenfmefnkgjh Mijoo is my queen

“try her ass instead” JK you absolute moron genius

“Mijoo as been trying to get you laid since freshman” I looove how this just sounds so random and plays into the cliché of the extroverted BFF trying to drag OC to parties and get her laid but with OC’s backstory // Jin it makes SO much more sense

“I won’t feed you lies” he, said, you know, like a liar.

“Your worth as a woman isn’t defined by your purity or whatever bullshit” love the hint at the later reveal that JK is, indeed, a woke king. We stan

“But unfortunately, you aren't the altruistic saint you wish you could be. You suffer from the same human emotions that plague everyone. And they aren't pretty.Despite what the artists and poets claim, the world works in a logical way. It's a simple mathematical formula. Girls like Mijoo end up with their princes. And you remain a bitter stepsister, helpless but to watch their happily ever after from a distance. One that you'll never achieve.” God that part....

“Here is a man who actually wants you. Not you, but your body, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that someone might actually desire you… ... He feels so thick inside of you that for a moment, the hole in your chest is filled” This is what I mean when I say that the smut in this story makes SENSE

“You wish you could cling onto this feeling forever so you'll never feel empty again.” The way this scene is supposed to be all smut sexy time but it is actually one of the most emotionally packaged and heart wrenching scene, really I can’t with your writing </333

“He grins at that, "I thought you knew me better than to take anything I said seriously?“Jk you manipulative mf I hate your fuckboi ass

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're a cuddler," you grumble as you twist in his embrace. "I'm not," he denies, but the way he buries his nose in your hair says otherwise, "And don't think about asking me to stay the night, because I'm not that kind of guy." The dynamic of the entire duo summed up in one paragraph

Chapter 2 :

The moment she reassures Mijoo and see what she is missing is :((

I remember than the first time I read new rules and feminist JK came clean I was honestly shocked (years of being guarded around men’s misoginy and fake feminism I guess) but re-reading it, it’s so nice to see the hints everywhere that he genuinely is and it warms my heart.

The convo JK and OC have about relationships and meaningless sex is not only such a good foreshadowing of the problems they will face later when it comes to coming clean about both their feelings (looking at you JK you moron) but also such a relatable feeling of ‘I know I said men are trash but I’m still vaguely heterosexual and would really like to believe that some aren’t and I know it sounds like I’m reassuring myself and honestly I am because it’s starting to become hard to really believe that’

The twits oh god the TWIST!!! The heartbreak it gave me, I was going to put some sentences in the highlights but honestly I almost ended up putting the entire scene so I gave in but it’s just so well written and nerve wracking to see what could have been and to realize that the friend that OC has been putting so much effort into helping betrayed her. Like, I can emphasis enough how much I cried reading this, considering I have been in a very similar situation, and that’s probably why this struck a chord so powerfully but wow.

The blowjob scene is simply another brilliant double meaning smut scene, the way OC is trying to regain control over something, someone, even if it’s not the one she wants, the way she makes him beg to hear compliments, heartbreaking (I know I’ve said this word like a million time and we’re just on chapter 2 but your writing really is something else)

The scene where she confronts Mijoo is in my opinion one of the BEST I have ever read, the way you can feel her heartbreak and her powerlessness but also the maturity she exudes, the way she tries to be the bigger person and do what’s right, lord I see myself here and it fucking hurts.

“He really likes you, Mijoo. Don’t let him slip away… You’ll only regret it.” The double meaning that applies to OC here is killing me

“On any other day, this is the kind of party you would protest, running around with a half dozen other of your feminist friends as you collect signatures for a boycott.” <3

“Wait… what makes you think that we’re supposed to be the hoes?” <3 <3

“Yeah. You really do.” Jk sometimes I really like you

“No, sweetheart. You’re the childish one for not being able to accept grown up emotions. Why is falling in love and caring for someone outside of their physical appearance so shameful to you? You need to grow the fuck up and realize that feeling for another human being does not make you weak.”<3 <3 <3

“Frat brothers are despicable…except this one, of course.” Absolutely love how first reading makes it sound like her crush is speaking and second reading shows her idealization of him here

“You swallow the lump in your throat. It would be one thing to see them wildly making out or grinding in the mosh pit like all the other horny kids. But to see them so enveloped in each other, content to just hug for the rest of the night… It hurts you more than you can express. You’d rather walk in on them fucking. This display of the purest affection… No one has ever held you like that before.You’re jealous. It’s shameful how horrendously jealous you are.”</3

“You need me?” you repeat in a small voice.” OC baby I get you I love you and you deserve th world ;(( </3

“You feel like such a villain, grilling this angel and making her upset. It’s such an irritating feeling, but you can’t choke it back.“It’s not like I liked him anyways…” Lord what have you done to my heart and I think it’s my favorite sentence in the entire story !

Chapter 3 :

OC protecting and looking out for Yerin is just so adorable I CAN’T

The discussion with Hyejin, the foreshadowing!!!!!!!

The way OC is self-aware and thinks JK only wants her body (and at the time it was highly likely) just makes the scene that much more heartbreaking, which makes me realize that all the smut scene up until now have been that way.

The entire chapter feels like a BIG call out to me thanks for that I guess. (I’m kidding it was wonderful and actually got me reflecting a lot on my habits and self deprecation)

“the ugly cage around your heart loosen a bit”

“Wow, your fungal cream is so nice. I hope you get that infection checked out." We love a considerate and caring man

“You would take this over the hollowness in your chest. You would gladly take the meaningless sex, the hard pounding of your pussy without a single gesture of affection. Who needs an emotional connection when you can have the pain beat out of you? Who needs someone to like you when you have someone to use you?” No words.

Chapter 4 :

I don’t know if I said that already but I just looooove the way you sprinkle hints here and here about everything ! Foreshadowing events and future revelations it’s just so nice to read and makes second (and third, and fourth) reading sooooo much more entraining and satisfying <3333. Like Oc and Mijoo are drunk and we get a snip at what happened freshman year, there were other hints previously but this just makes the reader WANT to know what the f* went down. And it makes up for Mijoo betrayal, it’s a nice way of explaining why OC « brushed » over her betrayal, we know that she was there in such a hard time for OC and yes it really builds the suspense around that whilst portraying Mijoo as more than the fake BFF who betrayed, I love that.

I love the way you use the word ‘ugly’ and how it’s very often associated with jealousy.

I want to address how much I adore your side characters and sub-plots. Like all of them are so likable (even Somin) and feel like genuine people with their own complex thoughts, seriously your characterization is out of this world! (special shout-out to Yoongi who is spot-ON imo). Like, I want to hangout with these people and be their friends.

ALso I feel like we are really starting to see Jk and OC’s chemistry (unrelated to being evil little matchmaker) and it’s SOOOOOO good, it feels so natural and seeing them slowly slide into a romantic relationship (don’t tell Jk) seems like the most natural thing (+ everyone thinking they are actually together and honestly they are)

"Hey so you like kick around a ball or whatever?" I love your humor I genuinely laughed at this

"Balls?" he says pointedly.” Same here

"Who are you talking about?" Jungkook asks in confusion, "I don't have a—ah you mean ___?" You sure didn’t think for long jk 👀👀and you didn’t even deny it 👀👀👀and you came as soon as being asked 👀👀👀👀👀👀sus

"Beats me," he whispers back, "I didn't even know we had a soccer team until this week!"LMAOOOOOOOOO

Chapter 5 :

The foreshadowing with Bang telling JK he is worried about his performance !! That’s why I love this fic so much! EVERYTHING is here, nothing happens out of the blue, you just have to pay attention to things to see things coming and not in a predictable but rather gratifying way.

The scene where OC hugs JK ? a masterpiece. I don’t know what more to say about it, it’s one of those things that touch on such a level that deconstructing it feels impossible and would break the spell, the intimacy I felt between the two of them and the stark contrast with Hyejin are perfect to characterize their relationship. Feels natural behind closed doors but lacking the words to clarify what they are, especially when faced with other people, and themselves. I L O V E it.

“you watch Taehyung roll around in the grass with his high-tech camera” don’t know why this is so funny to me but it is

"Are we not speaking the same language right now?!" Jungkook barks into the receiver, "Are you fucking high?" The fact that he barks it makes it even funnier

Chapter 6 :

Oc’s conversation with Taehyung about hookup culture (and her behavior at large) just SCREAM ‘I have had such a terrible experience with love before that I cannot even begin to think about letting it happen again otherwise I will never love again’ and it HURTS. But! The way she approaches things with such maturity and is so in touch with her feelings is simply admirable.

When OC is caught between Hoseok and JK at the party !!! It’s so frustrating but in the best way possible because they got soooo close to actually talking things out clearly and making things better but their pride and whatever got in the way and we know it! JK and Oc I love y’all but also you’re so stupid. (Also it’s exactly what I was talking about in my ‘misunderstanding each others’ part. I feel like this is during this chapter that they really start to fuck up the communication because that’s the chapter where it becomes abundantly clear that feeeeelings are starting to get into the mix, they both try to distract themselves (unconsciously or not) with someone else, HYejin and Hoseok, and miserably fails.

Also the domesticity!! That’s cute and fluffy and I’m blushing like I’m 12 year old again.

“You’re right, » he says « I have to get more creative” I have said that Taehyung is hands down the funniest character here ?

"I want someone to choose me," you admit in a small voice, "I want someone to fall for my personality—to love me because of my hot temper and annoying disobedience, not in spite of it. I want this person to be surrounded by prettier, nicer, sweeter girls, but still seek me out… I'd rather them fall for my personality first, then settle for superficial traits like my lacking appearance… Is that really too much to ask?" Once again, thanks for calling me out also I’m crying this is one of the best paragraphs you have written

“He's like a character from a 1950's romance novel stepped off the page” Oc sweetheart remember something else about the 50’s 👀👀 Like ... the sexism ?

“The moon is high in the sky at this point of night, not shrouded by dark clouds for once, and illuminating the entire rooftop with its luminous silvery gleam. But for some reason, it seems like all the moonlight concentrates into a single beam on Hoseok, surrounding him in a brilliant white halo. You swallow tightly and drop your gaze as though burned.” The imagery here is beautiful and I like that you associated him with the moon when he is usually the sun

"Oh, honey… You don't have to pretend to be strong in front of me." And there goes my heart.

"Did you think I was going to let her sleep on the streets or something?" is his sarcastic reply.You roll your eyes, "Thanks, Yoongi." We love character development (their friendship is so endearingly funny)

"Right… But um… what happened after the game on Saturday… uh…" A blush suddenly suffuses his cheeks, coloring his skin a lovely shade of rose, "I… I just wanted to—""Ah, that's right. There's another game next week," you hastily steer the conversation away, terrified by what he might say. "Don't worry, I'll be there too. I really need to start writing this article.""Oh, right… That's exactly what I was going to say," he says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.” I want to slap some sense in these idiots’ heads

"Yeah, but the problem is that I don’t want to." I am S C R E E C H I N G

Chapter 7 :

The scene where they wake up together and he smiles and calls her pretty and the misunderstanding scene makes me want to slap them you belated idiots

SO MUCH things happen in this chapter and I think it’s one of my favorite!! I have to say that the scene where OC protests against the date auction and faces the resistance of her sorority hit close to home. It’s always so heartbreaking to see fellow girls complying to sexism.

Also also, feminist JK keeps me up at night. Fuck yeah. (You know the lisa simpson meme with the orange juice, that’s me with feminist JK, give me MORE of that.

Also, her performance : I C O N I C

"You're just exclusive fuck buddies… Even though you don't do casual sex and Jungkook doesn't do exclusive. It totally doesn't feel like you're hiding your feelings." My thought exactly Mijoo

“Staying so guarded might protect you from pain… But it'll also protect you from any happiness." *Slow clapping*

“Why would you go for someone who doesn't see your worth? You deserve to be with someone picks you out in a sea of people. Who likes you the best." 👀👀👀

"…Do not resuscitate… Got it," you solemnly note.” You’re so funnyykekzldk

“You aggressively bid from backstage, even as Taehyung motions for you to get lost” I laughed out loud at this

« sold » HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJIfhehfqenfoneqlfnqdkfncqefnlmzfkbnrdbfksvm kjnefkenfe hAAAAH ????!!! flefnekf HIIII ç!!!!ç!uj

Chapter 8 :

I’m sorry there is not much commentary about this one but I can for the life of me read it with a critical eye since I’m too caught up in the suspense and the fact that a million things are happening, the only thing I can think about is that your fiction, although it is a college AU is so versatile and you touch on so many other genre (here : sport) and manage to successfully make every single one enthralling and further your plot!

“Maybe if I had lost, you would've hugged me again." HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJZKELMLDIZPEKDLEBDLLDKKEJ

"Please, ___. Please don't go."But sheer panic flashes in his eyes when you attempt to shake him loose. "Don't leave me," he croaks out in desperation, "Please, ___. Don't leave me…"Not like she did." Don’t think I’m not seeing what you’re doing here 👀👀

Chapter 9 :

I feel high-key stupid because that’s like the 6th time I read New rules but I just realized that there might be a parallel going on between Jk and OC’s story, it’s obvious with the hints that you’ve sprinkled that something bad happened with JK’s past girlfriend but it’s just now re-reading Oc’s backstory with Jin that I realize that JK might have been in the ‘fucking around to get back/over his ex’ stage of his breakup like OC in the summer Freshman year, which led to him having his fuckboy reputation despite not ‘really’ being one (i.e. him saying that he hates hookup culture when Oc talks about her story)

Also, empathetic, feminist and understanding men make me w*t.

"Yes," he says, a smile tugging at his lips, "Yes, you did." I sEE YOU

"I don't know what goes through that fantastical imagination of yours” This might be my favorite line ever

“But you don't move one inch. Because you know Jungkook better than that.” Aaaawwwwwwww

Chapter 10 :

This is some greek tragedy shit right here. Mijoo trying to push OC and Jk because she feels guilty about JImin (she way you write it makes it seem so believable but I can’t decide if it’s true or not because we are seeing Oc’s perspective here and she knows she actually crushed on Jimin while Mijoo doesn’t, which would be a huge factor in her pushing OC towards JK) and also because she is the only one with a brain? Oc refusing to believe it and opposing semi-logical semi-bullshit arguments to convince Mijoo and even more herself that this isn’t happening because she heard JK talking to Hyejin ? Jk saying that because he’s an insecure asshole (and also very probably because of his ex girlfriend wink wink) whilst acting like the most belated man, ever ? Na a TRAGEDY!!!!!

Also, the entire speech that Mijoo gives, everything she says ???? A punch to the GUTS! ! !

THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THEY CONSTANTLY THINK THE WRONG THING I WANT TO TIE THEM TO A CHAIR AND FORCE THEM TO ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (in a oh god HOW are they going to fix this and finally come to an understanding of each other kind of way)

He finally breathes when she says his name I’m :(((((((((

“it wasn’t fun” Love how this simple line implies that Mijoo and Jimin have problems and arguments of their own and makes them feel like human beings who have a life outside of the story.

“Or was your image of him so perfect and unrealistic that you couldn't tolerate these humanizing details?" Ouch!

"You're only pushing Jungkook on me to ease your guilt for stealing Jimin away from me!" I don’t have the words to explain the way I felt when I first read this line except : oh fuck. Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps.

"I like him," you abruptly confess, your soft voice breaking through the tense silence the same way the brilliant meteors abruptly burst across the darkness of night. "I like him so much." Masterpiece

“It's equally horrifying and an absolute relief to finally admit this deeply harbored secret after so long. After all these months of repression, it feels like a dam has burst with the way your emotions come tumbling out, threatening to choke you and sweep you underwater.” I said MASTERPIECE ! !

“Mijoo," you gasp, "What do I do?" Im crying. This isn’t a figure of speech. This isn’t an exaggeration. I’m crying. This entire scene is so powerful

“You know your role. You're just the side character—the best friend or comic relief. You have no right to even dream about a life by Jungkook's side—much less to feel this amount of pain and jealousy seeing him with another girl” .... talk about being relatable

“The loud electronic beat is pulsing through your veins with the same painful intensity of the tequila beating against the soft tissue of your brain. You feel like you’re being consumed by the powerful sensations… and yet, it's not enough to protect you from the helpless thoughts drifting across your mind, no matter how much you try to ward them back.” You really shine when it comes to making me cry

"Can't you just let me be petty and sulk for once?" Baby :(

“How could you have misinterpreted the situation so horrifically?” Well we have this saying in French that goes : love makes you fucking blind

“At this point of night, the moon has fully risen overhead, and its silvery rays cast down across the ocean, illuminating everything in white-gold. Awed, you can't help admiring the way the moonbeams kiss the top of Jungkook's black hair and the angles of his face, sheathing his figure like a cold halo.The waves continue to beat against the sandy beach like clockwork, and you sway with them, as though lost in a rhythmic dance lulled by the force of the moon. Your thundering pulse acts as a metronome in this dance, pounding away at a dozen beats per each drag across the shore. You are cold. So cold that you've lost all feeling in your hands and legs. But for some reason, you don't feel the need to shiver anymore.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Could it have possibly been a defense mechanism? Was he just trying to protect himself in advance?” We are making PROGRESS

"Why is everything about sex with you?" HE SAID! AS IF HE WANS’T ABOUT TO DO WHAT HE IS AVOUT TO DO AND MAKE IT ABOUT SEX I HATE THIS MF

Chapter 11 :

My heart is non existent.The way Oc swallows her feelings to protect Yerin and stands up for her ❤️

I want to thank you for introducing a gay character in your story also Yoongi is one of the most interesting character in the story.

The way everything is slowly coming to a conclusion and every piece of the puzzle settles in the right place is so damn satisfying UGH

The scene where OC confronts Jk is so fucking satisfying, a masterpiece, 10/10, everything I wanted to hear come out of her mouth, my girl knows what’s up and won’t let this fucker get away with it.

"I've told you since day one that I'm not that kind of guy. God, can you even imagine me in a relationship?" he says with a derisive snort that feels like a punch to your stomach, "Did you honestly think that you could trap me into one with sex, ___? Or with a kiss? Come on. Get real." Your insecurities are showing asshole

"I hope you get over this soon, ___," he tells you in a sincere tone, "So we can get back to the way things were." Fight me in a parking lot salopard de merde

“Well, at least you've learned your lesson now.” I had to take a pause after this part

"What if they were my parents?" he asks in a quiet voice, "My siblings? My community back home? The people I love most in this world? What would you have me do then?" As a closeted bisexual this one hit close to home

“But Yoongi turns to you with an incredulous look, "You can't be serious. Anyone with eyes could tell that Kook is completely whipped for you. Where is this coming from?” Yoongi is my man

"You're a fucking coward." My thoughts exactly

Chapter 12 :

Getting through this chapter without crying is genuinely hard..All the girls standing up for themselves and not taking shit for the shitty men in their lives ???? YES PLEAse. And thank you for not only that but also including the girls that the story pushed us not to like that much up until now like Hyejin and Somin when really they were going through the same things as the holy trinity of best girls OC, Mijoo and Yerin.

I have… mixed feelings and I feel like these feelings are exactly what OC has been feeling all along with the conflict between her beliefs and her heart. I wanted them to go through this and by being « willing » JK would have eventually just realized everything and stuff because I love romance and shit. But I also want OC to get what she deserves, and it’s not that. I want them to have this happy ever after end but I feel like we won’t get that before long because as Hyejin pointed out, JK clearly needs to grow the fuck up.

"Oh, ___," she sighs your name.” Don’t mind me I’ll be crying over there

“For a split second, you consider feigning ignorance. It would be so damn easy to laugh along with him and continue living this lie of being the cool, sporty tomboy who doesn't care about stupid "girly" things. After all, Hoseok isn't a bad guy. He's so handsome, popular, and kind. And he likes you. Someone actually likes you. Isn't that better than being alone? For a split second, you're tempted to grab his hand and flash him an award-winning smile. For a split second, you contemplate giving up all your morals and living a life of comfort with this lovely, charismatic man.” I love you so much for writing this

"Sexist?" he repeats in horror, "The fuck are you talking about?! I'm no sexist!" You’ve perfectly channeled the and OC’s entire speech to him should be taught in school

"We're just in different places right now," you inform him in a small voice, "It'll never work out, so please don't make this harder than it needs to be." I’m dying but also proud, producing

"I think I'll channel Somin and cut the toxicity out of my life." Attagirl

To wrap up this overly long review, I want to say thank you to Tayegi for writing this piece and feeling generous enough to share it with us, reading this story and seeing the plot unravel, characters be introduced and developed was a true privilege. I rarely connect with the « reader » in reader fics and just say a random name in my head (or even 'your name ») but here, here… Never have I been so close to actually feeling like I’m the one in the fiction, not for the romance but for the way she is portrayed, for her ideas and how hard it is to stand by them sometimes, for her past and traumas. New rules is a masterpiece, and the fact that I connected to it on such a personal level, which, arguably could cloud my judgement, doesn’t make it any less.

#BTS jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #jungkook #jk #bts fanfic #fanfic review #New rules #god I finally finished this #I feel strangely nostalgic because I read this ff when I was in a really bad place and it resonated with me on so many levels #like it brought me comfort and to finish this feels like closure even though it's not even finished #it's like finishing harry potter all over again gosh #please read it :(((#I never see Tayegi and her amazing work in people pic recs and like recommandations it makes so sad she is the most talented person #I have been a silent reader for too long it was my way of compensating for that #Tayegi if you're reading this tags don't stress over updating this isn't about making you post faster this is me thanking you

170 notes · View notes

pluviophile-bookworm · 4 years

Text

AWAE 2x7 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

This was pretty much my favourite episode of the entire series before season 3 came along, so I’m really excited to watch it again. Let’s dive in:

Ok, that was a really weird (and short) cold open. I don’t really know what to say. Moving on.

Seriously, what just happened to Marilla? And how often has it been happening?

Yeah, as if Phillips would give extra lessons to anyone but Prissy. Also, Gilbert is right about him not caring much about teaching. People like Phillips have no place being teachers.

Bringing up Gilbert’s father, whose passing I’m pretty sure he’s aware of? How dare he? I hate that dirt-bag excuse of a man.

Oh, you’re going to the ball, dear Cinderella... I mean, you are going to the party, dear DiAnne! And you’ll be bringing someone else, too.

Speaking of someone else, poor Cole is still struggling with his art after Billy’s horrendous deed. Emotionally, mostly. But burning his drawings is not the answer. Never.

‘Cole is a man!’ Yes he is, that’s what I’ve been saying for I don’t know how long now. I’m glad someone’s finally noticed. I’ve got to say this scene reminded me a tiny bit of HP and the Goblet of Fire where Ron finally realised Hermione was a girl. But it’s different. In a good way, of course.

I love their, well, Anne’s, plan so much. I just do and I don’t really know why. But Marilla’s worsening headaches and her calling Matthew ‘Michael’ are worrying me so much. The Cuthberts do have their own trauma, they do. It seems everyone does in this series.

Of course Matthew allows it. In Matthew we trust. They’re going! Of course, I knew they were, but that doesn’t make it any less exciting. See, that’s the thing about favourites - they make you feel the same emotions every time that they did the first time you experienced them. And isn’t that the most wonderful thing?

Marilla seems to be reminded of her own childhood and how she didn’t have the chance to experience such wonderful things as Anne gets to. But Anne’s had her share of traumatic experiences. She deserves this.

Hero is right. Cole is one and he’ll get back to his art soon enough. And he’s just arrived in what will end up being his new home thanks to the amazing Aunt Josephine.

Anne’s finally realised what Josephine had with Gertrude and her reaction is absolutely lovely. I knew it would be. In fact, I knew it the very first time I watched it. Here’s a note I wrote to myself all the way back then: Anne is so open- minded and finds it all but strange that aunt Josephine had a romantic relationship with Gertrude, while Diana’s conservative upper-class upbringing seems to get in her way of accepting it… but she’ll get around to it. What I really would like, however, is that Cole would eventually come out to Anne first, I mean they confide in each other in a way few others do, and she’s, at least the way I see it, the best person to come out to considering how she views Josephine and Gertrude’s relationship.

The party looks so beautiful, it makes me want to draw it. I probably will - just like I did last week with Diana the magnificent fairy queen. This show is so inspiring. In fact, my first ever drawing that I posted here was based on this episode and this party. Here’s a link: https://pluviophile-bookworm.tumblr.com/post/187379899979/i-dont-really-draw-but-i-was-just-rewatching-my Hey, this also means I’ve seen this episode more times than any other AWAE episode! It’s clearly my favourite - well, now it’s second to 3x5, but we’ll see what happens when I rewatch that one.

‘If it were agreeable to my husband’... poor Diana really needs more of her aunt’s influence. How lovely it would be for her to become a pianist... or a scholar, or what she desires. Not necessarily a wife unless it’s to someone she truly loves and who truly loves her.

The girl with the pixie cut who complimented Anne’s might have just made her day. At least it would have made mine.

If these people calling Cole ‘farm boy’ did something good, it must have been decorating him with their scarves and pearls. I love this look on him.

If not pixie-cut girl, Sunflower-man made Anne’s day and I’m so glad something finally did. If someone could only tell her how beautiful she looks...

I feel like I would have loved Gertrude if I had known her... and that woman who said she and Jo were her romantic ideal... there should be more like her in the world.

Josephine and Cole dancing together warms my heart so much! And what warms it even more is knowing they’ll be a family, a loving, beautiful found family as they both deserve. I’m not crying, you are.

Poor Marilla is still struggling with her past and her headaches, and Matthew is trying to do the best he can to help, but there’s not much to be done when one refuses to be helped. And dear Matthew seems to have trauma of his own. ‘Doesn’t she love us too?’ Heartbreaking.

Marilla’s thinking of Anne like a true mother, and though it breaks my heart when she says ‘I won’t be a burden to Anne.’, it also warms it to think she feels so responsible for her new daughter.

I wish dear Diana would be more accepting of her aunt...s. I suppose they were both her aunts in a way. In their own way they were married after all.

The artist who reassures Cole means so much to me for it. And the way she seems to know Anne after only having met her for a while... also, ‘Cole the artist’ - yes, he is that. I love that woman although I don’t even know her. She made Cole smile for the first time this evening.

I’m just imagining Anne in her puff sleeves and a top hat... magnificent. I might try to draw that sometime.

Oh, Diana, just because something is kept secret doesn’t mean it’s wrong! It might just be that people aren’t ready for it yet, and I’m sad for the people. Not for Jo and Gertrude. Not for Cole. For those who aren’t ready to accept that love is love in all shapes and forms.

‘broken, defective, unnatural...’ is that what Cole thinks about himself? I so hope it’s not. And I so hope he finds a man someday who makes him feel like Jo and Gertie had. He deserves it.

Here’s a note on this next moment from the time I saw it first: Oh my, oh my! He came out to Josephine first! I think it’s just as beautiful as had it been Anne, and the way he spoke of it to Anne and Diana first, although he didn’t confess anything, was so beautiful, deep and meaningful. Seriously, the way this series portrays things that are ahead of their time in the chronological context of the plot... that is so beautiful that I can’t even describe it… Anne with an E is my aesthetic… and one of the reasons I rediscovered my fondness of the colour orange which I previously disliked… just… so deep and aesthetically elevating. Ok, that last part had nothing to do with Cole or Josephine or coming out, but it’s truly what I think and it belongs here.

Matthew finally speaks up and it’s so powerful when a quiet person raises their voice. ‘She had other children. We all lost Michael.’

‘You missed me?’ But of course she did, she’s your mother now. I love the found family trope. And Marilla looks lovely with that flower crown.

‘[Love] can come in so many forms.’ This series teaches the proper values. I love it for that. #renewannewithane

‘The good doctor’. However demeaningly this was meant to be, it describes Gilbert so perfectly, and his response (‘and I managed to learn that with no extra time from you.’) was so absolutely great. Thanks, I love it.

‘You’ll get there, if you know where your passions lead you.’ That was a beautiful underrated Shirbert moment.

The pen of possibility. How lovely. This episode ended on just the right not and it’s just such a favourite of mine, I don’t even know what more to say. let’s just end here. Roll the recaps.

Let’s sum up: Marilla has headaches and flashbacks; Anne’s pen of duplicity concocts the perfect lie... fib; Cole struggles to get back into art; ‘Cole is a man!’ and so he and Anne and Diana get to go to Aunt Josephine’s party; Josephine and Gertrude are a romantic ideal; the perfect summer soiree in the middle of winter; Cole the farm-boy goes back to being Cole the artist thanks to a mysterious sculptor woman at the party; he comes out to Josephine, then to Anne and Diana; love is beautiful in every shape and form; the good doctor shoots for the stars on his own, thank you very much, Phillips (not!); the pen of possibility.

16 notes · View notes

pyr0cue · 4 years

Note

Oh yeah please go into detail about how Janus manipulated and exploited Roman, you are really good at explaining stuff and a rant post about that would be nice 💙

alsdkfjlkj i’m not that great at explaining stuff! I just rant and hope my thoughts make sense

buuut anyways, i wrote a lot more than I thought i would so i put it under the cut! (its messy, im so sorry)

In the first, the very first, episode Janus was in, he pretended to be Patton and made Roman act in several scenarios to prove that lying could be okay. Roman always listens to Patton, as Patton has basically built the entirety of Roman’s self image as the “good” creativity, so Janus probably knew that he could get Roman to act for him if he was someone Roman trusted. And that is...not okay. That is manipulation, super bad. Roman even said “ugh i felt so used!” (or something similar) after they had “banished” Janus. And then nobody addressed that, but that’s a different issue. Janus exploited Roman’s acting skills and Roman’s sway over Thomas’s decisions.

The next time he shows up for long a long period of time is in SvS (right? sorry im tired) and this episode is PACKED full of manipulative bullshit. To start, Janus disguises himself as Logan, once again trying to get the others to trust him, and then is allowed a seat at the table because he was against...(i dont feel comfortable typing that), which again is manipulation. Janus plays off of Roman’s need for approval in order to sway Roman to his side, and Roman takes every compliment except “oh you know i love you” and gets flustered. Patton also feeds Roman’s ego in order to sway him to /Patton’s/ side, which seems like it might be prompted by Janus’s compliments? That’s up for debate but Patton hadn’t pulled anything like that before.

Moving on, Janus puts Roman in a “position of power” in which Roman doesn’t actually get to do much. Roman gets no input other than his time as a ‘witness,” I don’t know how well to explain this but that “power” that Roman has as a judge is faked. Janus is saying “maybe i respect you, maybe you have power, but you don’t get a say in anything.” in this situation /Janus/ is actually the one in power, he just gives Roman the illusion of power in order to, once again, sway Roman to his side.

Also! The “wroammin” thing. That is gas lighting. Making Roman question his own sanity (based off of his ability to spell his own name). Roman was visibly distressed over this, as anyone would be, even more so because over the series Roman clearly has trouble with that sort of stuff (calling Logan “pat” for example) which isn’t a bad thing, but causes the “wroammin” thing to have more of an impact.

I believe that there’s a few more examples in SvS, but im too tired to remember them now.

Now! For POF. I really like this episode because it kind of shows how Janus’s abuse (yes, abuse. manipulation is abuse) in SvS affected Roman. Roman was trying hard to be hesitant about dismissing Janus’s opinions in SvS, but in POF Roman see’s Janus as the villain. This is not only because Janus manipulated him, but also because Patton, Thomas, and Virgil made it clear that he should not trust Janus.

Once again, Janus first pops up disguised as Logan. That doesn’t go well, he reveals himself, yada yada yada.

Now, the fun parts!

Roman tells Janus about “being built up just to plummet to even greater depths” (not the exact quote but close enough) And Janus dismisses this as “a fun, wholesome, prank”. Which, obviously Roman was referring to how Janus buttered Roman up in SvS, and Janus pretends like Roman’s feelings are no big deal. That Janus was just trying to be “funny” and “wholesome”.

“now lets talk about something we’re both familiar with, mistakes” This speech from Janus to Roman was necessary, Roman needed to know that he’d made a mistake. BUT, the way Janus worded it make Roman out to be the Villain, to be the person who had hurt instead of the person who was being hurt. (yes, Roman did make a mistake but that’s not the whole picture) Roman made a decision based not on the thing that he thought was important or that he wanted, but what every single person who he trusted and loved told him. Janus was harsh in this speech, talking about how Roman’s decision “served no one” and was “a net loss,” setting Roman up to snap. Like, the brutality of this speech was not necessary. And what’s worse, neither Thomas or Patton tried to contradict or soften what Janus was saying, leading Roman to feel abandoned, confused, and alone.

Thomas stating “well, that’s over and done with” (or something along those lines) was another straw. Thomas wanted to just move past the thing that was breaking Roman. Thomas wanted to just forget about the callback and the wedding and move on. Roman was not ready for that. Roman was still confused about why Janus was being listened to, why no one was trying to back Roman up, why Roman had chosen the thing that Thomas and Patton said was right but was not wrong.

I’m going to say right now that Roman laughing at Janus’s name was NOT okay and was NOT justified and anyway, Roman belittled Janus in a moment of vulnerability and that was not okay. But...did Janus expect Roman to just immediately accept him? Did Janus expect to have torn Roman to shreds, to have hurt and manipulated him, and have Roman suddenly forgive and forget? Roman’s self defense mechanism is to insult and tear down others, like how Janus’s is to lie. In this situation, Roman is confused and hurt, he’s alone, so he laughs at Janus’s name to try and defend his point of view, he tries to break Janus how Janus had broken him. And Janus is obviously hurt. But Janus DID NOT have to say what he did. “Oh Roman, thank /god/ you don’t have a mustache, otherwise i wouldn’t be able to tell /who/ the evil twin is” Was...not an okay line. Yes, Roman hurt Janus, but Janus had already torn down almost everything that Roman thought of himself, and almost everything that Roman was taught. Janus should have been able to recognize that he’d broken Roman’s trust when it was just beginning to build, he should have been able to see what his manipulation did to Roman, but he didn’t. He shot back Roman’s /greatest insecurity/ everything Roman didn’t want to be. And that was not okay. That was too far, too deep, bad.

I...don’t know how to end this. Sorry for ranting but i have a lot of thoughts and am bad at explaining them. Not gonna do a tl;dr because uh...this is just my thoughts on Janus’s manipulation and how that affected Roman. So yeah. If you read all of that mess, thank you, and i’m sorry.

#🍂☕🥀 anon #ask #im sorry that took so long i typed way too much #sanders sides #roman sanders #janus sanders #ts #ts sides #ts roman #ts janus #janus critical #janus criticism #please let me know if i need to tag anything else

20 notes · View notes

bwaldorf · 4 years

Note

What number haven't you gotten? I'll send all of them

aaaah thank you, kendra! 🥺 i know im gonna annoy everyone who follows me bc of how long this is but alas!

5) who do you feel the most you around?

my friends and family, probably! i feel like there’s different aspects of me that shine through depending on who i’m with so its an amalgamation of both. i guess if we wanna get Deep, i’d say i feel the most me around me!

6) say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical)

i think ... i invoke the right to stay silent

9) what calms you down?

music .. again. i know lately especially i listen to a lot of softer instrumental tunes that i have an entire playlist for on spotify. i really enjoy that

11) what’s your ideal date?

hmm .. i’ve never been on one so i don’t really know! but theoretically, something where i can let loose and not be so hyperaware of the fact that it’s a date. bc i dont fare well under attention and scrutiny, probably something where there’s less of a focus on just being one on one. maybe going to an arcade or amusement park? bc there’s still room to interact and talk, but it’ll be easier for me to let loose and have fun too!

12) how are you?

i’m alright! i’d say i’m fairly content rn. the weather’s warm so that’s kinda .... getting under my skin a bit but other than that, it’s been a peaceful mostly uneventful day. it’s nice to have those lazily rolling by days sometimes

13) what’s your comfort food?

sheesh i don’t really know. it varies immensely based on what i’m craving. there isn’t really a specific thing i reach for to be honest

14) favorite feel-good show?

it’s weird bc i never really thought of it as a feel-good show but i think it honestly might be ‘get smart’! it has its problems but it’s a show i’ve been watching practically every single day for 10+ years now! it’s been background noise a lot at home and i know it so well, my family and i can quote innumerable scenes from it. it’s one of those shows that, despite having seen every single episode countless times, still manages to amuse me. so i guess .... it is a feel-good show. it’s comforting in that sense, bc it’s pretty much always been there. there’s been a number of shows like that in my life but that’s a big one

15) for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word

i think for this one i need emojis but also i’m not creative enough for this so uhh might have to pass on it

16) compliment the person who sent you this number

kendra, you’re such an admirably strong and motivated woman who takes no crap from anyone. you have a beautiful old soul and even though you’re technically younger, you’ve always felt like a big sister to me. the big sister i never had, but that maybe i always needed in my life. you’re so talented (an amazing writer and roleplayer!) and so smart and passionate about your interests. your drive to succeed inspires me daily and i know you’re gonna go so far in life. you’re gonna be so successful in your field and i hope that one day, you’re also able to publish one of your original works (or all of them) on the side with your teaching career. i love youuu and i hope you’re doing well ❤️

19) most important thing in your life?

idrk ... friends and family? not to be redundant. but i definitely feel i prioritize them in my life (or try my best to). on a more personal level, happiness? though i romanticize love to the death and am a hopeless fool for it, i think ultimately i want to be happy. and just live a life i wont regret too much

21) if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

i’d both tell her to try harder, even when the going gets tough bc it’ll be so rewarding at the end but also that it gets better. it really does. there’s gonna be ups and downs and you may go through some of the same things again and it’ll probably really hurt, but despite all the bad, you’re gonna find so much good (you just gotta let yourself bask in that and not write it off). you should hold onto that hope and know that that light at the end of the tunnel is there and it’s not going anywhere

27) which character would you want to be?

hmmm this is really tricky. there’s so many. but idk why cinderella came to mind ... i’ve been projecting a lot on her i think lately. so for now, i’m gonna say her. she goes through so much but at the end she’s happy and free of her burdens and finds love that she is worthy and deserving of. that's a dream

28) hugs or hand-holding?

hugs!!!

29) morning, afternoon, or night?

of the choices there, afternoon. but i tend to probably prefer evening. when things are winding down, generally, and i can take more time to myself

#god i ramble SO much its insane #userkendra #ask games #messages

3 notes · View notes

narakussy · 4 years

Text

i’m having them biracial blues and this is 100% a rant about my life written in some weird ass...i dont know man, i got up in my feelings and it’s hardly coherent but

gif credit, cuz i couldn't get it in the actual gif adder thing

i dont think ill ever forget schoolyard taunts about my thick, black body hair. or that my eyes were demonic because if the light didn’t shine just right, they could almost be black. or that my eyebrows were too big and oh they can see a little bit of hair connecting between them. i never forgot when the girls who were supposed to be my friends started calling me broccoli nose because it’s wider than theirs, you see. or when the boy i had a crush on and a boy who’d always been my friend decided that instead of friend, i should be their yard workers or maids or harvesting their food but its funny ha ha cuz that’s what mexicans do! i wont forget that my hair was boring and why is there so much of it? why is it frizzy? “because i dont have that problem!” said the girl with strawberry hair. and the color! black, but just shy of the inkiness that is beautiful.

i won’t forget that my skin was brown or that the little girl i ran into at toys-r-us, excited and chatty because she’s a friend i thought, walked away with her mother berating “you didn’t tell me she was mexican!” as i stand next to my red-haired, light skinned cousin. i wont forget that no one could say my name proper and it was never worth the effort to try and it didn’t matter if they’d known me for years because it was too foreign on their tongue and it didn’t matter. but heaven forbid i didnt properly pronounce theirs because “its not that hard!!!!” it’s only hard when its attached to someone like me, right? even when it comes from europeans just the same, forced onto my people like the blood of theirs in my veins as a result of their violence.

i’ll never forget thinking my abuser of seven years was so beautiful, right to the very end. i wont forget being eight years old and fighting against fear every time i saw her but going all the same because she was all golden hair and ocean eyes and certainly that means shes good. even as she tells me to shave my hands, my stomach, get rid of the nasty hair that makes me look like an ape. even as she tells me my mouth is too big, my lips look like they’ve been stung. i suppose we are taught, then, from youth to see beauty in our aggressors. for how lucky we are, just to be in their presence. i felt that, in some obscure way. desperately and with all of my being i felt that and hoped and prayed and wished that i could be her.

that i could look like her. it was all i wanted, to look like her because maybe then the world would look at me and see something pretty. something worthy of love. beautiful, and good in all the ways i was told - even without words - that i couldnt be. something worthwhile.

i wanted to look like the mom who raised me. the one i wanted to be perfect for even when she never asked me to be, never even implied it. because to her, i already was. she always told me i was beautiful. braided my hair and kissed my cheek and told me all the things i got from my family that lived across the country, some still in mexico, and why it was such a beautiful thing. do you know what it’s like, that the person who sees you as a treasure is the one no one would ever connect you to? to go out with your mom and your two friends, and people are shocked to hear that youre her child and not the blue eyed blondes? even with her brown hair and hazel eyes and no features to share besides, it was more believable that they were her daughters rather than you.

their only similarity being the color of their skin and yet the message is clear even if you can’t articulate it: you couldn’t possibly be from her, someone who belongs to the group that sets the standard for beauty and worthiness.

that wasn’t me, brown skinned and dark haired and with every feature that runs strong in my papa’s family. my tia said it herself, when i was born. “oh julie, im so sorry. she has the family nose” because she knew, too. my beautiful tia who has no need for shame and she knew that my moms whiteness couldn’t protect me because their features showed full force in me, left no place for my mom’s family to show itself.

i wont forget that the world told me from day one that i was less than. i would always be less than. it’s awful funny, that i lost my love of the outdoors when i first heard that it darkened you. no more summer days spent in the pool, fingers pruning but refusing to get out. no more bike rides, gone in the morning and returned by dinner. no more outdoors karaoke or baton twirling in the driveway. the tree i once loved is abandoned and the branches i’d climbed till i couldn’t any longer grow weak and lonely with time, missing the child who’d settle in and fall asleep in its branches. the warmth of the sun was something i deprived myself of for years with only the wishes of lightening my skin, getting rid of just one of the many things that separated me from everything i thought i should be.

but i found that it didn’t matter how pale i became. because, you see, it’s not a lightness that indicates whiteness. its an “i havent seen sunlight in a year” kind, one that doesn’t fool many and never for long. and how could it? my name would betray my heritage even if my features didn’t.

at twenty-eight, i still havent recovered. i havent learned how to live under the sun again. i havent learned to rediscover that kid that would wait for the weekend and the adventures it’d bring, step outside my door and into the sunlight and stay there in the world, under the heat of the sun until it started retreat into the night.

i wont forget that all expectations of me were based around what i looked like, what they saw in my name. how surprising it was, that i might know things. how unexpected it was, that i understood anything. after all, how could i deign to perform better than some of the other girls, the ones that were expected to go places when it was quite clear where most people expected me to end up.

it didn’t take long, for anger to show itself because it was easier to show that than shame, sadness. it’s strange, that at twelve, a black girl calling me a “white bitch” was offensive for the first part rather than the last. white...white....the thing i wanted to be and yet i was angry when she called me that. angry even if i didnt understand why, at the time. but i do now. i understand the fury in my bones at that moment when she pushed me and i swung back, a kid noted for being quiet and well behaved because i couldnt believe that she saw that.

that because i was not darker then my struggle did not matter. that because i did not look like her, then my disadvantage didn’t exist. the one thing id yearned to be a part of felt like a fist to the gut to be sided with because...i wasn’t. it was the first time i realized that maybe there wasn’t a place for me. that i’d be doomed to be too white for all the people who could empathize with my struggles and too brown for all the people who’d been a source of them.

and it only got worse when people would thing, for appearance, that it was better. but its not a compliment to be fifteen and having a guy hit on you because he “likes them spicy” wink-wink, nudge-nudge. it’s not a compliment when someone wants you to be his spicy hot tamale. even when the things that were detriments about me aged into something desirable, it was twisted and tainted and never felt like anything close to acceptance.

and then....and then to get out of all of it, all those moments that tore me down and made me ashamed to be who i am and realize the beauty in my features, in my wide nose and big lips and dark hair all over my body. to learn to love these features that mark me as part of a people with a history so rich and roots so deep into the soil of this continent...to learn these things and fight against all those ideas and people who ever made me feel otherwise and then be told that it is not my place. that it isn’t true, what i said. that i am pale and so that means i am white and i don’t know racism because my mom is white.

it’s a unique thing, to be biracial, and i dont think people talk about that enough. one foot in one history, the other in another. both but not enough for either to accept you. and i know that truth, too. i remember family gatherings with my moms family. i remember feeling always like my brother and i were julie’s little mistakes. oh sure the words were not spoken but in a sea of white people who married white people and had white children...the contrast makes you aware.

aware that you are not a fit. aware that they will love you only if you never bring up your papa, never bring up the aggression against you simply for existing as a product of love and understanding between people from such different worlds. little whispers about your papa that you wont understand for years as your mom shakes her head no, no, he’s a good man because her love has never gone. changed, perhaps, from what it was. but steadfast and true. they criticize him for his drug problem but she tells of a man who always took responsibility for his failings, always admitted his wrongs, never harmed a hair on our heads.

a good man who is sick but a good man nonetheless.

both, but never fully one or the other. and they let you know that, too. even the ones you’d thought all your life were the few that accepted you fully. but then you argue, you fight to defend your people against the new husband of a cousin you loved so much. the anger...the anger feels like a heart about to explode because it isn’t all anger. its fear and sadness and hurt and the anger is what you grasp onto, inflate as you stand shaking to take a breath, get distance before a panic attack has set in. you do that a lot in life.

and you hate crying but you sit on the front porch doing it anyways. your mom knows better than to follow but your aunts dont. so they come and they talk and they try to ask whats upsetting because well we were talking politics, people don’t always agree.and you scream, voice breaking “he’s talking about my people!” because how could you have ever identified with whiteness? but you don’t find understanding or comfort. only your favorite aunt, the one you loved for so many years, the one you thought accepted you no matter what, says with just as much passion: “we’re your people!”

and you realize, in your mid-twenties after a lifetime of being mistaken, that the acceptance is only if you throw away a part of yourself. that only if you will forget your mexican half do you matter. that they would prefer to forget you’re not white because how can they possibly love you if you arent?

it’s a lonely thing, too. because your papa is sick and he did not do right by you in the all right ways. and you spend your childhood missing him, wanting to live with him because living with mom is too painful if that’s what it will be like. but it bitters, too. childish ignorance cant last forever and for years you are angry, furious, refusing to see his sickness as that and instead as a choice he made.

he chose to leave you. to stay with a woman who looks like him, to create a child who belongs. one who learns his native language and gets all that you dont. the good and the bad. it....hurts, that the first words your little brother says to you are in a language you cant understand because your father...he lived far away for so long and where else could you learn when your mom can’t speak it, either? he’s three and spanish will be his first language and age will bring anger that this is so when your attempts through your life just never seem to work.

you just cant seem to make the words right. they feel wrong on your tongue and youre sure it’d make anyone who knows the language laugh.

people often dont get why i am offended by being called white. because well, im not, for one. sure, my skin is pale but my features are not those of a white person. to reduce it to that is so offensive when my experience has been lived as a person of color. it’s rare that people assume i’m white. and yea, it makes me mad when they do.

because i haven’t benefited from whiteness. i have never been treated as it. ive noticed people treat me poorly by my name alone, before they’ve even seen me. my MOTHER has noticed this. she kept my fathers name and she’s told me before appointments made at new places, she is often regarded more rudely but when she shows up and they see her whiteness, it changes.

for me, though, the biggest indicator is that other mexicans seem to....know. its a blessing and a curse. its adorable when little mexican kids come up to me, start trying to say something in spanish. it makes me feel this...wanting. to be a part of that culture, to learn more that i havent been able to because im across the world from everyone who was meant to connect me to it. but it hurts, too, because its another realization of my defect.

that i am a part of them, but only partly. and not everyone is so kind. some will see my distance from my heritage as sign enough that im not a part of it at all.

this...really got away from me and honestly, i dont even feel like ive really scratched the surface. this wasn’t meant to be a “poor me” but to be honest.....just because people have it worse than i do, and i KNOW they do, doesn’t make my suffering less significant.

so much in my life i have been told my people of color that i cant say anything and i have no right to it and this and that and whatever because my skin is pale. some try to make me say im white passing if i must engage but you know what...fuck that

if i was white passing, this post wouldn’t exist.

#personal #man this got away fromme aklfhjlakdjfkajh #LEGIT LIKE A RUNAWAY TRAIN #it was borne of a post i was gonna make about something i noticed about my writing and then it segued into me having emotions #look i dont talk about like....this a whole lot #basically cuz ive been shamed into not talking about it lmao #i dont expect this to be read cuz its yanno mostly for me but #its...nice if you do?#idk how to explain this but if you read this post i just wanna say like...thanks for caring enough about what i have to say to read it #that means a lot #i feel like the contents of this would be obvious but lmao #racism cw #abuse cw #uhhh idk what else #i dont think im missing anything

2 notes · View notes

bilbo-fettt · 5 years

Text

You're Worth it; and Here's Why

There was a point in my life where I has to abruptly end a friendship with someone because of how they treated me; and I dont mean in that consiously-aware-of-abusing-me-emotionally kind of treating me, I mean the spuratic, unpredictable level of rage that lead to bombshell out bursts that'd some how be turned to my fault and resolved with a half sincere apology from both sides. And by half sincere, I mean we were both sorry it happened, but neither of us thought we were genuinely in the wrong and had to change something about ourselves.

Honestly, I still dont know what I could have changed to fix any of it. When I put distance between us, I'd get randomly assaulted via snapchat about a verity of things, usually stemed from an underlining layer of paranoia and doubt. Simple check ins or kind gestures were interpreted as lies or fake empathy because they beileved no one could ever truly understand, and the smallest effort was no effort at all. They saw themselves as a castle under seige, crumbling from the ground up with no allies coming over the hill at dawn to save them. Even if the catapults were their friends trying to break through the gates and to rush in their aid, the dangerous demon of rage will quickly chase then out.

Its not that I wasn't allowed to get close, it was that if I upset them, then clearly it was because I hated them all along, or I never understood them to begin with, or I was just some hidden assasin who'll dip the moment I slashed them in the back. They've been betrayed before, so it was only a matter of time when the world would tried to snuff them again.

Here's the thing about that: there is not a day that goes by that I think about her. I really liked her. She had all this energy and was constantly a flush of ideas that has me writing more than I ever had in my life. I loved being around her cause it meant I could walk away with a smile and a story. Perhaps that was selfish of me, feeding off her like that; but she gave that energy so freely that others usually quickly shyed away. I wanted to be her friend, be her ally and help her leave her castle.

I say She now because she knows my Tumblr and will at some point stumble upon this. There is no point denying it. I had to remove her from everything when she burned my last ditch effort to keep her as a friend. Long story short, a third person came into play and all it took to push me away with this third person is assume I'd do it on my own. It was like, if everyone is going to leave Her eventually, might as well get it over with. I was forced into a friendship with someone, this third person, who helped me understand, helped me grow, and later helped me realize that She did more than just lash out and build walls. Its one thing to be emotionally unstable, its another to blame the world for it.

The point of this whole post is two things: an apology first and formost. I had never wanted my life to be some reason Her's could not be good, or my kindness to be corrupted into half-earnest, pity hand outs, or the hearts of everyone involved to be altered like stiching on a tattered quilt. I never wanted compliments from her, or a pile of things every Christmas, or a friend to showcase like a freak in my collection. I wanted someone who would help me create, someone who was passionate and well witted. Maybe I was selfish, maybe I didn't understand, or maybe I need to realize when a crumbling castle refuses to be saved.

Second, I want other people to realize when Enough is Enough. There are thousands of posts on Tumblr about normalizing anxiety, depression, and abuse. There are thousands more about "being there till the bitter end" reguardless of unwarrented outbursts. I've been wanting to say this for a while, counter post after post that pops up on my mostly Disney and Video Game based feed.

Anxiety is not normal

Depression is not normal

Abuse, Rage, Paranoia is not normal

You are not alone.

This goes for both those who are fighting one of the most difficult battles in their life, and those who stand by to help. There are a number of resources to help you for every post on tumblr, a friend behind every word, a hotline for every letter in the alphabet-- but you have to want help. Our society has normalized and ignored mental health issues across the country, so it isn't entirely your fault you feel lost or alone. The internet is a sea of escape, you can build your little castle and float aimlessly for miles and miles to escape the reality of your life. But thats what makes it so dangerous because eventually you'll have to put your phone down, you'll have to go to class or work or the family dinner table. You have to want to feel better while doing so, want to sail to a better future, want to cling to a hope.

This is where your friends come in. They want to help. But if you dont want to be happy or face reality or finding footing on solid ground or leave your castle; they cannot, for your entire life, keep trying to break down your walls. They will eventually be forced to give up when their out of rocks for their catapults and supplies to feed their energy. It isn't because they dont care, it's because you aren't giving them a choice. They likely have a castle too, one with it's own demons, rage, fears. They too may struggle to cling to hope or happiness-- everyone is so different and diverse and comes from a million different places of doubts and strengths. There will be a point where you have to want hope.

One more time:

It isn't because they dont care.

You are not alone.

Enough is enough.

There is a point.

You are strong.

USA's National Suicide Preventional Hotline: 1 800 273 8255

Or for a moment of Crisis, text "HOME" to 741741

Or find resources near you through your School, Work, Doctors, Clubs & Orginzations, Friends, and Family-- maybe even through Tumblr or Social Media cause the healthy stuff does exist online. There are people who want to help you.

Trust.

4 notes · View notes

briteboy · 6 years

Photo

okay i’m gonna be real with you. i have...a LOT...of messages. going as far back as like...january? probably? i know...i’m so bad...don’t crucify me. i tried to get through all of them but there were a lot that i didn’t have a worthwhile reply for so i’m sorry if i didn’t answer something you sent :{

so here we have: a lot of nice things, a lot of santisms, reactions to the lou and cillian punchout, a few responses to my portfolio and other stuffs...i wanted to put astrology asks in at the end but it’s...a lot more than i thought it was and it’s 3 am so i’d rather die than answer all of those LMAO sorry. i’ll get to it next time

Anonymous said:

u can delete the snorting cum asks but it will still follow you for eternity

okay so I saw the ask about snorting cum and it reminded me of a time that cum came out of my nose. It was gross but my boyfriend and I laughed it off. idk. I thought it would be a funny thing to share!! i'd understand if you didn't want this on your blog!! (maybe it makes you laugh!!)

wELL. WE’RE OFF TO A GOOD START HERE. i’m screaming at this...i hope nothing EVER comes out of my nose ever in life...i hate this but ur right it did make me laugh

(Winry anon again) Also, did you get her name from FMA Winry Rockbell because if so I love it

hehe...yes...

hornybodies

this is what bartsim calls me and i hate her for it

whats the truth bitch

I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THIS IS ABOUT BUT I’M LAUGHIGN

i never realised how much i actually missed santi but now im CRYING AND I WANT HIM BACK IN EVERY SINGLE POST WITH LOU BY HIS SIDE LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER PLEASE

I missed santirat's beautiful face there are literal tears rn

me too...i hate that i miss him so much it’s so freaking dumb...i haven’t cried to my own story in a while but i bet i’m gonna once santi’s comeback rolls around. i’m already bracing myself

nvm u can have the lovely rat back, that way my heart wouldn’t be hurting like it is now

honestly yeah that’s fair

Been silently following your blog and though I'm more of a "ghost"(? What does that even mean¿) follower, I can't help but express just how chocked I am to see Santi again OMG. Gutted Lou has had a flashback, she does not deserve this. :'(

hello casper the friendly ghost...i love having santi pop up with surprise flashbacks hehe...ur right though she DOES NOT NEED THIS in her life, but it will get better for her soon do not fret my ghoulish friend

I need more pics of Lou and Santi together I’m not satisfied, thankssss

ELI AND MIYU GETTING SO EXCIted WHEN LOU TOLD THEM SHE LIKES GIRLS MY HEART :’)

HEHEH i love it cause that’s literally how my friends and i act, it was fun to write in a scene :~} i’m glad you liked it :’}}

Yeah when I cut my hair short everyone assumed I liked girls I found it kind of odd, but I didn't care too much. It mostly just made me end up realizing all the shit lgbt people go through, one time a guy literally went up to me and my friend, my bff who no one really knew was a lesbian was terrified because he said "oh dont worry lesbians are hot, but gay guys are just disgusting" it ended up he was talking to me, i just rolled up a piece of paper as tight as I could and smacked him on the head

EWW first of all that guy can take his weird fetishization and homophobia elsewhere thanks...i’m glad you threw a paper ball at him LMAO. but yeah on one hand, coming from ignorant/straight people it’s like “uhhhh why would you assume that about me”, within the lgbt community it’s like...common ground...an inside joke...i guess? so it’s weird. the link between hair, clothes and sexuality is can definitely be harmful in certain circumstances

fiona is my spirit animal and i love her ok thanks for coming to my TED Talk

that was illuminating thank you

i re-read santis story and i s2g i've read it so many times idk, but like its so easy to read i dont mean like emotionally but it flows really well. and like its not too confusing i hate when people make overly convoluted stories in an excuse for being deep its some good shit good job my dude

AKJSDKGKSJD THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i never expected anyone to read it oNCE let alone REPEATEDLY...that really makes me so happy though because it’s definitely something you have to go back and read to catch all the details. ahhhhh thank you so much, i never ever want my story to be too complicated so i’m glad you don’t think it is!!

im crying because your recent post reminds me so much of my relationship with my mom when i was younger... she was always out of a job and sometimes we had to resort to living with other family members, it was all really hard on her and especially with having a kid she had to take care of at the same time. even though these are fictional characters, it’s comforting to know that other people have gone through the same situations i have. i love fiona and lou so much, they’re my heart and soul <3

OMG ;_________; i’m crying i’m so glad it resonates with you...i had a lot of friends growing up who were in similar situations and i think i kinda based lou and fi’s relationship on that, so you’re definitely not alone <33 i’m so glad you love them i love u

basically what I’ve learned from these asks is that Gianni is a perfect god-like human and I want one

he is. one time an anon told me they were like santi but they wanted to be rooney and i was like “i’m both santi and rooney on different days and i want to be gianni.” now u know why

hi, i just wanted to pop in and say that i really, really love your blog and i admire your editing skills SO much, i think you are EXTREMELY talented and i don't think you get told that enough. i've been following you for awhile now and i am in love with ALL of your stories, characters and edits you've put out! you're really an inspiration to me and i hope someday my edits can turn out as good as yours!! i don't have reshade so it's harder for me, but i'm trying to learn!! ok have a good day :-)

OMFG ;-; I DO GET TOLD IT A LOT AND IT STILL SEEMS FAKE...you don’t have to go out of your way to compliment me ;___; but thank you so so so much i’m crying...it makes me so giddy that i might inspire someone like WHAT...i don’t even know what i’m doing half the time i edit so u will definitely be able to catch up to me one day even if you don’t have reshade, i know it. i edited without reshade for like 2 and a half years on this blog so you can do it i promise!! have a good day/night/life i love u

fuck my succ

I'm in need of some giannti in my life

we all need some gianti in our lives

Hey! I just wanted to say that ur an amazing writer. You portray everything so well, it’s insane. I want to be a writer someday and I hope my writing is at least somewhat close to yours. Have an awesome day my dude💕

WOW I’M CRYING...i still have a lot of room to grow and so do you, i hope you are able to become the writer you want to be :’} and thank you so much for the wonderful compliment i’m emo have a great day as well

aver is my queen, confirmed.

avey is everyone’s queen confirmed

oksy but listen, look up the model Charlotte Ray Spencer

i did but i couldn’t find her?? all that came up was ray spencer obituaries in charlotte, SC LMFAO...charlotte spencer is an actress tho it seems, is that...who...? omfg

MAY I JUST OFFER THIS NEW SONG OF THE NEIGHBOURHOOD CALLED VOID BC I HAVE A FEELING SANTI WOULD LOVE IT (it's also meant for my aggressive sadboi oc)

OH I LOVE THIS IT FITS PERFECTLY WITH THE PLAYLIST I’M MAKING FOR THE NEW ERA OF SANTI...THANK YOU I’M TOTALLY ADDING IT

I had a ectopic pregnancy when I was seventeen but I feel like I got off lightly compared to Molly. Your story is so beautiful in so many ways, I think it’s incredible how much character development you’ve managed to pull off honestly I’m amazed. Thank you ❤️

omg ;_______; i don’t even know what to say to this, but it means so much to me i can’t even put it into words. thank you thank you thank you so much, and i’m so sorry you had to go through that as well. molly was an extreme case and i hope no one has to go through what she went through. i’m glad you’re okay now, and thank you so much for reaching out to me and reading my story at all ;-; <3333

just a heads up: the links button on your ccfinds blog goes to the femmefinds url still

oh yeah i know i’m gonna be real with you...i’m too lazy to fix it lmAO

Luv your stick n poke tats u posted!!! Could u do more? Maybe on diff places on the bod?? Ur so talented. Xx

omg that was FOREVER ago...maaaaaybe in the future...we shall see...but thank you <33

Can u do a family portrait for all ur characters like u did w Lou!!!

oooooh hehe i probably will in the future!!

Kill v maim is one of my favorite songs of all time omg it makes me wanna wear ripped jeans and a leather jacket and cover myself in glitter and smash some windows with a baseball bat MMMMMM

HELL yeah me too...i become a cyber punk alien vampire when i hear that song

maybe do a casting call posted here ? u have many followers and im sure a good chunk live in ur area and would be willing to model ^_^

omg SCARY...i probably could tho tbh that’s a good idea, thank you!

hi sunny, what program do you use to merge your cc and what do you use to detect and remove broken cc that just doesn't work in game anymore? thanks!

i actually haven’t merged on my new laptop yet but i used s4s for merging and there’s the mod conflict detector!!

My game hasn't been working since the first Cats and Dogs patch but I uninstalled and reinstalled and it finally works again 😭

sunny!! would you recommend your computer to play ts4 on? has it good graphics, can handle the highest settings and so? i really need a new computer but i have no idea which one to go for

yes i would recommend it!! i have reshade, ultra settings and like 8 gb of cc.

thanks for answering my ask eee ur story is probably the best ive read on here and yeah. i love how everything connects and everyones just so real. you dont have to post this i just wanted to thank you for being my inspiration and making me smile, laugh, cry, and scream in the middle of the night with your characters.

I LOVE U...it still sounds so fake to me when people say i inspire them, i don’t even know how to respond to all this ;-; just thank you for sparing a glance my way and resonating with my creations. <3 we scream and cry 2gether

I listened to Separator by Radiohead on repeat whilst reading Santi’s story and now that song just reminds me of him and Lou. I’d totally suggest listening to it’s so good! As is your story :3 xxx

oh radiohead that’s good sh*t...i’m listening to it now and i feel the santou vibes...especially when santi’s feeling out of his mind and she’s the only one who can calm him...haha cool..anyways THANK YOU!!!!

how do you make poses for the roof? i'm not sure how i can know if the sims will clip into the roof or float

honestly i just...eyeball it...because all roofs are different and you can’t put them into blender so. i just winged it lmao...i just made a pose that looked like it could’ve been lou climbing out the window, only the rig was still ground level, and then i used alt + 9 to lift the teleporter onto the roof as best as i could. that’s why it probably wouldn’t be a very practical pose to release, because i have no way of making it easy to use

Lou punched him and I knew it would happen. 😀👌 nice, nice I like Lou whopping ass.

hehe i’m glad you enjoyed it...who knew she had a freaking hook like that

ok a theory... santi went to look for molly's mother and yea

omg tell me cillian sings every other freckle at some point

OMFG well...that song came out in 2013 and the current flashback year is 2008 so. i would personally murder cillian myself if he was still in lou’s life 5 years after this honestly

hey kitty girl! i was wondering if you could answer this teensy lil question i got. im writing a "story" anddd i was trying to figure out how to make some parts not cliche. like i hate reading about whatever and being like girll ive done seen this before so i just needs to know. kisses

i absolutely love how this is worded and the fact that u called me kitty, very cute. anyway...this is pretty broad, perhaps you could clarify what kinda cliches you want to steer clear from? a lot of the time when i know something is gonna be cliche and there’s no avoiding it, i just kinda own up to it and try to subtly point out how cliche it is and somehow that makes it work out better...like being self aware somehow adds another more realistic element to the story that makes it better? idk...anyway dm me if you need help!!

so.... lou can remember more of what happened? this is good! go 2 the police bitch! tell them!!!!!!!

she should!! but the only problem is she doesn’t have proof. so... 🤔

how do you write your stories in a way that everything is organized and you're certain and not confused with everything? i mean, do you have any way for writing that let you develop your stories with not so much difficults? i'm trying to write an story for months but i only have a few of the most important events on my mind, i don't know how to develop another important details, i always feel that everything is confuse or crap

hmmmmm well my mind is very ah convoluted so it’s a wonder any of this comes out even somewhat cohesive? but basically i have a very good memory and utilize google docs a lot hahaha. i’ve gone in depth about my writing process here!

whats a good way when it comes to starting a sims story? i mean like the first post? :/

ummmmmm maybe test the waters a bit and just make a post introducing your character(s) first? or dive right in and get sh*t started. it could go either way tbh

boyish by japanese breakfast is a santixlou bop

oh sh*t!!!!!! i love japanese breakfast!! and i love this thank you!

So is lou like into cillian in a way? Making him kinda be in her type

as of right now (in the flashbacks)? HELL fucking no. but you’re right, she did say those things in the future to santi. so 🤔

Everyone guessing shit stupidly annoys me haha. I'M UNOBSERVANT AND I DON'T WANNA GO BACK AND CHECK SHIT, LET ME LIVE. *Like* if you a ~dum~ reader who doesn't want every bit of foreshadowing called out. lol

i respect this honestly whenever i drop the hottest foreshadowing of 2018 i never expect my inbox to flood like it does but here we are and i am amazed

CILLIAN NEEDS TO FUCKING FIGHT ME (TYPING THIS ON MY COMPUTER BC I SAW HIS DINOSAUR ASS AND CHUCKED MY PHONE OUT THE WINDOW)

i’m screaming...i’m so sorry it’s my fault about your phone but like also i’m poor i can’t pay for that

i'm studying your latest posts because they're beautiful and my hatred for that long necked bitch is intensifying -- what makes me burn even more is that he's still wearing her necklace, can we say let the bitch burn?

burn babey burn

Why don't you use quick tags?

i’m dumb is why

CILLIAN IS SUCH A SHITASS I HATE HIS FACE WHY R U DOING THIS TO ME

BRUHHHHH THE DINOSAUR LOOKIN ASS BOY IS B A C K run

WAIT THE NECKLACE. HE STOLE THE MCFUCKING NECKLACE BROOOOO

What if Fi's blue eyes are from... Cillian..?

wHY did you have to make him cute and fucking cool though? I still hate him but it's harder.

NVM I JUST LOOKED AT THE POST AGAIN HES WEARING HER NECKLACE INHOPE SHE CHOKES HIMS WOTH IT THIS TIME

I SCREAMED AT THIS SERIES OF QUESTIONS OISDFNGJKDSKJN yeah sorry he’s conventionally attractive but unsettlingly so and i feel uneasy when i look at him and plus the fact that he’s literally evil so .

im like, to 90% sure that cillian is in ace joker. so that song might have reminded lou of him...

this was sent right after that scene of lou hearing the song at pippin’s, so

My conspiracy theory is that cillian is Lou's father. Speakimg of which are we gonna get to that soon, I'm dying of curiosity;.;

I’M LAUGHING I THINK U MEANT FIONA’S FATHER AKSJDKJGDSJ but yeah well. You’ll See

what do u resize ur photos to?

whatever 33% of 1920x1080 is i forget. i have a resizing + sharpening action so i just run that

im about to kill those kids if they keep fucking with my baby

THESE BITCHES BULLYING MY BABY LOU? CATCH THESE HANDS

me @ these ugly kids:

Who are the best creators for mens clothing? I struggle so much to find good cc creators with men specifically!

badabing badaboom

I’m not sure if you’ve converted things before but do you know any good sims 3 cc to sims 4 tutorials? Or your followers?

errrrrr i have no idea i’m sorry :x

would you consider making like a photoshop psd file with all the layers in your editing process?

omg...heck no it would be so unhelpful OMFG mostly because my editing is just my own action + shading and highlighting unique to that pic

would you ever do an editing timlapse of your gameplay pics? 💖💖

ahhhhh maybe!! probably in the future!

OMG HEATHERS WAS FILMED AT MY HIGH SCHOOL AND IM JUST HYPED UP SEEING IT BEING MENTIONED ON THIS ACCOUNT!!

OMFG THAT’S RAD...i’ve literally only seen it once tho i’m fake

I'M SHOOK. my friend kinda asked me out and I wanna say yes but my parents won't let me date. I'm 18! I need your advice! -signed 18 and alone anon

um UR 18 BUDDY UR AN ADULT...DATE WHOEVER THE F*CK U WANT HONESTLY

Can you pretty please link some photoshop tutorials you recommend? I really want to make my photos more cinematic and like your's without totally copying you or someone else. All I do right now is sharpen, color balance, and add some noise and then resize. I really need some more ways to get better looking photos such as yours.

ahhhhh the problem is i don’t know of any i’m sorry...lmao this is totally unhelpful :\ i have my own editing tutorial which is outdated but can probably help you out with the basics of lighting effects and shading n stuff?

Heyyy, I saw that you answered a question about making a ps action like your reshade, and I just wanted to say that I would love that! Unfortunately Mac users like me, can’t use reshade unless boot camping Windows onto our computers...☹️ and your reshade is just soooo pretty...

i don’t know if i’ll be able to replicate the reshade effect totally but i could release the action i’ve made for myself? it warms up screenshots but is totally adjustable to your liking for different color tones so in that way it’s kinda similar to the reshade. i’ll seeeeee what i can do...i know the woes of mac users all too well, my friend

i just wanna give lou a big ol cozy hug :o((( pls

pls hug her she needs it.

Do you post on tumblr from your phome or from your computer? Just curious.

mostly from my computer, sometimes i answer messages on my phone while i’m out and you can tell because autocorrect actually makes me use proper capitalization for once in my life

how many hours have you played the sims? for me i have 4,070 hours. haha help

OMFG i think mine is like...900 or something...i can’t tell if that’s too much or too little, but it’s definitely inaccurate

if i could only look at one person's tumblr from now on it would be yours. ur literally the queen of tumblr #shookaf and also i really hope i die before you ever say ur leaving tumblr cause when u do, i will legit die and bury my own grave. i really appreciate u and hope one day i can be on ur level but rn im at level 1.5 while ur up in the millions :D

I’M SCREAMING PLEASE I AM A PLEB.............i cry u flatter me too much ;-; i genuinely hope i never leave this place because it’s been so fun and it’s helped me evolve so much as an artist and a writer, plus i made some of my greatest friends on here. so i hope that day never comes!! but who knows life is wild. anyway i’m sure you’re actually like at level 578 and are just being modest. it’s okay you don’t have to be humble

i think its so cool that you and wanderlust and other simmers use multiple worlds to make your own town and stuff. idk why but thats just so cool to me and i would have never thought of it. love your blog and story <3

omg!!! well i couldn’t resist, i love a bunch of them and can’t limit myself to just one ya know. plus the more i thought about it, the more my gen 2 story kinda centers around these kids from this one town and the town itself is very relevant. so i felt like i had to make my own!! and i’m very excited to get started with that hehe

I just met a guy named Rodrigo Santiago and I sCREAMED HOLY SHIT

Update (tho idk of you got the first one): I just got a text from a classmate named Rodrigo Santiago. I'm sCREECHING

no freaking way. there’s no way i don’t believe...i want proof...

YOU SO FUCKIN PRECIOUS WHEN U SMILE

dont worry about posting this or do idc but i just wanted to say you should write about whatever you want and not care about whether people think you condone it or not. if i (a gay male) were to write about lesbians its not like im saying YOU HAVE TO BE LESBIANS BLAH BLAH BLAH you know what i mean? or if im writing about a robbery doesnt mean im like condoning robbery so like idk you do you boo and keep it coming ;D ilysm btw

OMFG no yeah i get it, i mean i think now especially in this online environment, people are hyper aware of Problematique things and so they’re a little too quick to point fingers without looking deeper than the surface. and whatever it’s fine people are always gonna be like that because people are mostly inherently judgmental, especially when it comes to consuming media. artists/writers face stuff like this all the time because people refuse to look past the surface, hence why works have gotten misconstrued all the time. but yeah i really appreciate this sentiment, thank u i love u

hope this isnt a weird question but what is the image size that u used for your character page?? thnk u 💕

omg it’s 300x300

have u listened to visions of gideon by sufjan stevens i was listening to it while reading ur stories and it made me so :(

oh my boy sufjan aka gianni’s personality claim i love him...and this song is :{ but i love even if it’s from the nasty age gap peach fucking movie

If i was married to Jamie and he treatin’ our daughter like that… oh I swear HES GOT TO GO!

it’s 2 am i’m so tired answering all of these i forgot who jaime was for a sec i was like um why are we talking about GoT anyways good night

how does alpha hair work with reshade? it seems so good in your screenshots and i’ve seen that in others screenshots it looks bad? whats the secret?

well good morning haha jk i never went to sleep anyway here u go

hooow do you make adorable toddlers in ts4?? teach me, gimme some advice please :(((

chubby cheeks! big eyes! small faces! little but plump lips! a good skin! dats all

how did u get ur sim onto the fire escapes?

ze teleporter mod, that’s it

I snickered at the, THE RETURN OF SANTI. Like I imagine it written in red horror lettering and santi just busts down the door and says ho ho ho im back bench, Did U miss me?

honestly i own a calendar and if i knew a definite date u already fucking kNOW it would be up there

ahhh im sorry for asking but im wondering how you find voice claims?? i'm looking for some for my sims, but it's tough to find one that's *right*, you know?? and your voice claims are great!! thank you <3

OMG voice claims are HARD, i literally just like “collect” them over time...i have a list in my phone of voices i like/may use in the future lmao, but try to think of actors or musicians and search interviews/movie or tv scenes with them speaking!!

i don't even read your story but i still follow you because i love your personality, sim style and just your whole entire tumblr

u follow me for ME? UM...what are u doing here...i’m so sorry (i love u...)

do you have a different reshade preset for flashback screenshots and for the present ones?

i do not!! i just edit differently

what happened to the honeycomb?

OMFG it’s still there...but we legit haven’t seen it since girooni’s wedding so um...it’s gonna have to get a makeover. i’m gonna do it when girooni come back home so i can finally show rupi working there like...wow...she deserves to be seen

lou's dad is the biggest asshole and i am waiting for the day that bitch dies

us when he dies

shit theory: caroline goes to find and confront cillian about what he did in teen lou timeline. care ends up forming a crush on cillian and goes back to meet him several more times, but cillian ends up liking lou more which makes caroline jealous. and that's why they don't speak currently, 'cause cillian ruined lou's life in more ways than one.

uM holy fuck that’s all i got to say

pls tell me that Caro killed the dude that choked Lou (or beat his ass)

god i hope so !

how many people do you follow? are you “strict” with who you follow?

i follow 264 people and yeah i’ve gotten a bit stricter with it just cause like...i only want to follow people whose content i truly care about/will actually notice on my dash

would you ever do a sim dump?

probably in the future, it seems like people want more male and female sims from me SO

ramona got some moves tf

the girl is out here bobbing to the chicken dance like nobody’s business

have u seen the end of the fucking world? if u did what are your #thots

UM......................i watched the first episode ‘cause i heard so much about it and um.............................it was so bad OMFG i hated it. way too edgy for me. completely missed the mark. not into it at all. hard pass

CAN LOU PLEASE HAVE A MAN IN HER LIFE WHO IS NOT A COMPLETE TWAT PLEASE

HOPEFULLY ezra will follow through with that and i don’t necessarily mean in a romantic way but like...as her new roommate MAYBE he will be a blessing we can HOPE

I'm not sure if you've been asked this or not, but your poses are so good and I was wondering if you have ever considered making a pose pack? Sorry if this came off as rude! I love your posts!

i will probably in the future!! but first i gotta figure out which ones i’d actually include

okay so this is random but I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your sims stories. Everything is so perfect and I'm forever shook because I can't believe the "sets" you use are actually the game. Your sims are so fleshed out and you are a huge inspiration to me. Anyways sorry if this was weird but I'm like obsessed with ur blog. bYe

AJHSDHJFSD THANK YOU!!!!!!! yes somehow we work miracles into this game can u believe it...ahh but thank you so much, it means everything that i would inspire you in any way...like what...omg

Santi is actually standing outside present Lou’s apartment wondering where the fuck he went wrong

he’s been there for 6 months just on the street standing there please someone let him in .

LOUUUU OH MY GODDD SKKDSNSJDH MY BABY. SO THATS HOW SHE GOT THE SCAR. WOW

there it is fellas. this message is sooooo old i’m so bad

Have you read/heard of The Lunar Chronicles

i have not!! but i’ll jot it down!

I was wondering if you’ve ever had any problems with skins? For me some on the palm side of the hand it’s noticeably darker than what the skin is supposed to be.. like the rest comes out find but the hands are darker.

hmm...that’s weird, i haven’t seen that. i think it probably depends on the skin? or maybe your sim detail settings?

santi my daddy, honeybodies my mommy, lou looking like a cutie when she saw dat tiny puppy. my name is rappin anon, and i just wanted to say, ur are my favorite simblr basically saving my day. rappin anon OUT

o...my god

i love u

i love u...

#nonsims #saviorhide #sunny answers #where is the anon that loves these...i always think of you when i make these...enjoy

52 notes · View notes

kittykatknits · 7 years

Note

So I read a "post" saying Sansa running WF successfully is ooc. I disagree. Sansa's the defacto lady of the Vale and she's doing a good job. Besides innately being smart she's also getting training for being a lady,administrator, diplomat and in politics. She has natural acumen for organization,logistics,hardwork,knows how to run a household well She's learning to gauge others' motivation&how to maneuver them successfully. Also she'll have advisors to help her. I see her as a very successful 1/2

ruler/Lady of WF or when ruling the North/looking after its daily workings/governing/managing it; I dont think it’s ooc for Sansa to be a capable ruler/administrator/and dispatch the duties that come w/ being Lady of WF/looking after the North at all. That’s where her book arc&training montage is leading her. What do you think? 2/2

In short, I largely agree with you.

I’m loathe to think of fandom as a single identity but there has been a general trend with Sansa as a character over the years (at least based upon my unique experiences). Long ago, when only two books were available in the series, Sansa Stark was largely defined by two things: (1) the events on the Trident and subsequent deaths of Lady/Mycah and (2) the betrayal/execution of her father. Then, the third book was released in 2000 and fandom decided Sansa should also be defined by her feelings, or lack thereof, towards Tyrion Lannister. Oy, I am forever sick of those debates. Opinions changed, somewhat, after aFfC was released in 2005. Twelve years later and we are still waiting to see how fandom reacts to her in the next book.

It’s funny in a way. Seventeen years and, for the most part, the discussion around Sansa is almost exactly the same, “Starkness”, killed her wolf, cruel to her sister, cruel to Jon, snob, got her father killed, not truly north like, and so on. Well, no, it’s not funny, it’s frustrating because it seems like there is a growing trend of throwing power hungry into the mix although I think that’s fed largely by the show than by the book’s version of the character

For the most part, Sansa has never been a popular character, ever. The trend I’ve seen is not so much that she’s received less negativity over time, because she hasn’t, but that her actual fan base has grown. There was an explosion of Sansa fans after the first season of Game of Thrones aired and then again after the second.

So, anyways, to get to the point, the fact that you saw a post like that, isn’t particularly new or surprising. It’s shallow and inaccurate, but not a surprise. To be honest, I actually blame Martin for some of it. For the most part, he’s done a great job at world building and is fairly consistent when it comes to enforcing the rules. Cat mentions her Ladies once and…that’s it. Cersei is the queen and has no women at court. Martin doesn’t really show us the lives of women in ordinary circumstances, he’s pretty bad at it. We get Marg and her cousins in the third book some and Cersei finally gains a friend (who is also a spy…) in the fourth. There is a lot of work telling us how men are educated, think of the memories of both Jaime and Jon. We even see it with Bran as he functions as the Stark in WF. Heck, the first chapter is showing Ned raising his sons. But, the women, it doesn’t happen to nearly the same degree. Readers need to work at it so much more than they do with the male characters.

To me, I compare Sansa’s interactions with Measter Colemon in the Vale to those of Bran with Luwin. Colemon speaks with and takes guidance from Sansa in the same way Maester Luwin did with Ned/Cat, but much less so with Bran.

And let’s look at this:

Maddy and Gretchel were waiting outside with Maester Colemon. The maester had washed the night soil from his hair and changed his robe. Robert’s squires had turned up as well. Terrance and Gyles could always sniff out trouble.“Lord Robert is feeling stronger,” Alayne told the serving women. “Fetch hot water for his bath, but see you don’t scald him. And do not pull on his hair when you brush out the tangles, he hates that.” One of the squires sniggered, until she said, “Terrance, lay out his lordship’s riding clothes and his warmest cloak. Gyles, you may clean up that broken chamber pot.”

- Alayne II, aFfC

The household is taking orders from Sansa here too. And when her authority is questioned:

Gyles Grafton made a face. “I’m no scrubwoman.“Do as Lady Alayne commands, or Lothor Brune will hear of it,” said Maester Colemon. He followed her along the hallway and down the twisting stairs. “I am grateful for your intercession, my lady. You have a way with him.” He hesitated. “Did you observe any shaking while you were with him?”

- Alayne II, aFfC

This chapter shows Sansa shutting down the Eyrie and preparing for the entire household to take up residence in the gates of the moon. It’s exactly what would be expected of the Lady of the Vale.

And if there is any further doubt, the first Alayne chapter is one long bit of political theater:

“She did indeed. She saw to the mulling of the wine first, found a suitable wheel of sharp white cheese, and commanded the cook to bake bread enough for twenty, in case the Lords Declarant brought more men than expected. Once they eat our bread and salt they are our guests and cannot harm us. The Freys had broken all the laws of hospitality when they’d murdered her lady mother and her brother at the Twins, but she could not believe that a lord as noble as Yohn Royce would ever stoop to do the same.The solar next. Its floor was covered by a Myrish carpet, so there was no need to lay down rushes. Alayne asked two serving men to erect the trestle table and bring up eight of the heavy oak-and-leather chairs. For a feast she would have placed one at the head of the table, one at the foot, and three along each side, but this was no feast. She had the men arrange six chairs on one side of the table, two on the other. By now the Lords Declarant might have climbed as far as Snow. It took most of a day to make the climb, even on muleback. Afoot, most men took several days.It might be that the lords would talk late into the night. They would need fresh candles. After Maddy laid the fire, she sent her down to find the scented beeswax candles Lord Waxley had given Lady Lysa when he sought to win her hand. Then she visited the kitchens once again, to make certain of the wine and bread. All seemed well in hand, and there was still time enough for her to bathe and wash her hair and change.”

- Alayne I, aFfC

This isn’t GRRM being overly verbose here or falling in love with his food descriptions. It’s Sansa setting up a stage, thinking through everything from guest right to the type of table and chairs and their placement. Remember, these are not random guests, these are six individuals that are contesting LF’s hold on SR and the Vale. Everything matters.

It’s no different than the Lannisters in the throne room after the Battle of the BW. That’s one long bit of political theatre too, with the rehearsed scene between Joffrey and Loras or Tywin riding in atop his horse. It’s presentation and Sansa is doing a really good job here of setting everything up to their advantage.

After this, Sansa dresses herself:

“There was a gown of purple silk that gave her pause, and another of dark blue velvet slashed with silver that would have woken all the color in her eyes, but in the end she remembered that Alayne was after all a bastard, and must not presume to dress above her station. The dress she picked was lambswool, dark brown and simply cut, with leaves and vines embroidered around the bodice, sleeves, and hem in golden thread. It was modest and becoming, though scarce richer than something a serving girl might wear. Petyr had given her all of Lady Lysa’s jewels as well, and she tried on several necklaces, but they all seemed ostentatious. In the end she chose a simple velvet ribbon in autumn gold.”

- Alayne I, aFfC

Again, it’s more of the same. This isn’t Sansa obsessed with clothes (although what’s wrong with that if she is?) It’s the image she wants to present, it’s the same reasons the Tyrells drape themselves in gold and green.

Sansa’s chapters are swimming with this stuff and it tends to get dismissed. This stuff matters and it matters a lot. This theater and pageantry is present in every wedding and clothing choice. It’s present in the food (remember the poor fare offered at the RW?). It’s reflected in seat placement at both the WF feast and the PW. And Sansa is really good at it, like really damn good.

Heck, even Tyrion picks up on her skills:

“She is good at this, he thought, as he watched her tell Lord Gyles that his cough was sounding better, compliment Elinor Tyrell on her gown, and question Jalabhar Xho about wedding customs in the Summer Isles. His cousin Ser Lancel had been brought down by Ser Kevan, the first time he’d left his sickbed since the battle. He looks ghastly. Lancel’s hair had turned white and brittle, and he was thin as a stick. Without his father beside him holding him up, he would surely have collapsed. Yet when Sansa praised his valor and said how good it was to see him getting strong again, both Lancel and Ser Kevan beamed. She would have made Joffrey a good queen and a better wife if he’d had the sense to love her.”

- Tyrion VIII, Sos

But, as important as all of this is throughout the entire series, it has always tended to be overlooked and dismissed which is really disappointing. I don’t claim to know her ending, whether Hand, queen, Lady of WF, or something else. But, I guarantee all of the above is going somewhere and it isn’t just to take out LF or rebuild after. I suspect it will be incredibly important come the war for the dawn too.

This has gone on for a long time though, so I will stop now. But, hopefully, I answered your question…at least some.

Thank you anon for letting me talk about my girl!! I love Sansa so much. :)

#Sansa Stark #ASoIaF #asoiaf meta #house stark #anon ask #feel free to ask #feel free to ignore #sansa stark meta

233 notes · View notes

rogerrachel1995 · 4 years

Text

I Dont Want To Save My Marriage Anymore Astounding Cool Tips

Stop trying to save marriage, counseling from your network has referrals you get the whole pressure adds up then only a handful of correct ones.Your ability to do in order to avoid divorce and not only save your marriage from all the gifts you've been doing?It might seem like it at your relationship can be saved, so don't rush.There are 3 things that you do want to save your marriage so you can save marriage from mid-life crisis can happen overnight.

The distance of two places have started to make their marriage problems and stress in your marriage from divorce and save marriage alone --You hardly talk with each other to avoid divorce and now I would make is when it comes to saving your marriage.Base all love and we can easily be measured.A no answer should discourage you from conflicts, stress, and the imperfections of the hardest thing to overcome them.One part of church council is the very basics of what you have to be practiced and refined.

This will help a couple drifts apart and they explode.Why do you know that there's really only one aspect that may rise.o Losing interest in your marriage, you have to agree to the relationship matures.- Though it is important to your way through troubled times.It can release the tension to grow and learn to communicate and discuss what took place.

Many couples surrender in difficult times and bad times, couples tend to dominate your home is that in relationships, it is important to try and bring them closer together.In a Save Marriage After an Affair: Open Channels of CommunicationBe a good way to start looking for ways in which you can both agree that the relationship advisers are psychiatrists.The drawbacks are that they are doing, marriage would then be reciprocated.Let go of your world to fall in love and affection and lack of sincere and keep them fixed.

However, there are so overwrought by the owner who is to reconstruct your marriage.It is believed that you two in restoring your damaged partnership and if you are with, it is up to you.There are many unwanted children in this category then firstly I want to attempt to get your spouse to fall apart.If you put in an abusive relationship, then do something about it.There are few licenses which are uncalled for.

Do they have a role in your married life, and this can get you out more communication with each other, they hear this word because it affects the personal and social stability and relationship skills, you can find it hard to watch.An informal separation or divorce of your commitment once a month.We consistently adapt and uncover new things as asking your husband or wife doesn't care one way or the loss of not being met and started working towards a divorce, seeking help you increase your sexual tension because they lack communication.Both partners should be enough to make you grow stronger and keeping your marriage is to spend some time to develop happily something has changed his or her sometimes.* develop resilient optimism to bounce back from a faulty model.

After seeking this counseling, many couples you have built up via other means.Whenever you're angry or defensive, you may have been on a failing marriage.The sessions reveal the down sides while you are having.That will only be for you to build it all of the tensions and pressures at the same marriage you need to understand how your spouse to examine further.Unexpected gifts and compliments go a long time, if it is a program designed to save marriage.

For a spouse who would likely to do even if you have a pact, why not give up.Guys especially tend to forget what brought them together in paying the bills.It means she is the case in front of others.The pressure of professional commitments usually takes the lead and learn how to save your time to talk.It's time for your relationship and grew even closer while facing life's challenges, you are ready to commit.

Can Petitioner Stop Divorce Proceedings

Make sure you really want to save marriage vows from being broken you must do something.Sometimes it helps to keep a distance from you, it is something not right with your spouse as if you're on the back seat.In most cases, lip service is taking your time with your husband to compare notes with you.Critical: criticizing or judging your partner again will require a very good proof about the issues properly with each other at the end of the relationship, so long and happy marriage.Here are five important mistakes you want to save marriages.

Getting rid of any society; it's needed to be talked about.Delete all the clear pointers that their partner doesn't actually realize there are issues in marriage may be while they aren't solved, they can talk to your problems, be honest, just and fair- there should be come from outside, it stems from not being loaded into the most common outcome when spouse feels that they are completely wrong.The resulting bond will be able to save your marriage even if your a female you need out of hand.Real love is strongly felt, then the two of you are having fun, they are not being able to stay together and sometimes vanquish the anger.Discouraged because of infatuation-almost to a great thought if things look bleak also needs to have.

Here you have the effect of your marriage and never have a different kind of relationship you really know what you want to save a marriage, there are some of our family relationships have taken degrees in counseling, and he or she is harbouring something on how to properly implement the changes.Have our attempts at communicating will be accumulated in their marriage so be prepared to put these into action who isn't yet ready.Marriage has an ideal divorce that lasts through generations.To really forgive someone, you would rather spend a great deal, just by our society.The marriage counselor or therapist recommended by someone known to be with the use of the other person in the world is more than anyone else; you have always wanted to go.

Even better, he knows how to effectively and it will no longer dream of and respect between the couples.You may think that this is a mess out of any society; it's needed to communicate with the betrayer!Keeping your marriage to be for the marriage, it is too short to stay because you must physically and emotionally take them out of the goal in your home.Peace comes in different forms, shapes, sizes and circumstances and just listening to your marriage.The reasons for its annual vaccine, that is superficial and forced.

Relish in the wrong ways to keep in mind that you are trying to build that relationship, there will be surprised at how the marriage tedious and meaningless.A married couple must vary their sexual behaviors, putting joy into their relationship.These are two common reasons why men cheat and it is not true when your spouse is supposed to help save marriage.But should every relationship with your spouse.If you are married or not, bringing those feelings back will help you solve it?

Saving your marriage and show that unhappy spells in marriages still do want to end with an ugly process which can end up in divorce.The other idea that the person will naturally want to be an impossible to not bring up any difficulties in this direction.Fidelity is a key thing and you are not going down but up.Putting each other is feeling, and saying.That may be the way you handle the problems from the heart, and experience.

How To Avoid Court In Divorce

Now that you are like most families, they seldom ate together, especially on the power to turn a win/lose situation into a divorce and gravely dysfunctional.Using the love that is worth saving and you might end up with much better approach and is more important than the one who would be like, you would never do.Nowadays things are going to help you find yourself having to deal with things like adding too much about yourself, you can rebuild your marriage, we are angry.There are web sites, books, support groups, marriage counselors, and even after your appearance and you shouldn't take it in saving your marriage alive.There is no commitment between the couple might not be a little effort.

Sometimes one of the effects that are based on complete commitment will waver.I know works in terms of changing his/her actions or to dispense with meaningful advice.The number one problem, followed by another.Instead only use statements that are so many men who go about saving his marriage.And with your life that those flaws were there while you will get one on one support through phone, email or e-chat.

#I Dont Want To Save My Marriage Anymore Astounding Cool Tips #How To Avoid Divorce After Separation

0 notes

forbesjames96 · 4 years

Text

Save Marriage.com Unbelievable Useful Ideas

It is better to forsake your pride than your own convictions.Also, some couples is a good save marriage from divorce effectively, you need an environment where you are looking for some married couple.If the relationship from an internet based marriage counseling should be read by all means take this measure.Yes, even if they feel that there are 2 main categories that these problems from the chaff?

Your marriage will be hope for your marriage.So go now...Rebuild the fresh, happy, and make sure you don't want to vent about how you could do to save the marriage crisis, take a break and a lot of effort that has very little help to greatly reduce the love is to read on and then subtlety mention that anger appears as a couple may have found out and reward your spouse if you realize the cause of divorces is infidelity it may end in divorce.We do not apologize even when only one will be greater issues that are worse than that?They might not see eye-to-eye with your spouse has begun to share with you and your spouse's faults and imperfections.If that has worked time after now with your spouse wastes any time of the pain and resentment towards each other.

Many people who are at odds with each other.Many of us have no control over how your relationship a whole lot better than losing a loved one, especially if both partners to heal your spouse's part.Many times if you go to work together, otherwise it is time to push away the constant fighting and arguing for months and you decide the answer.Do you remember the last resort, and this is to spend with him/her.In fact, other relationships- with family, friends, taking care of itself.

It is very important most especially in front of them.Moreover, your spouse start to seriously consider divorce.Thus, it is much easier said than done but you do not want to live in the relationship that ended badly, you may well feel that you know that things are always fun to pit husband against wife whenever possible putting undo strain on marriages.In recent times, the burden and strengthen your marriage.This is a habit that you might be quite expensive, and if possible, apply some logic and reasoning in what you can honestly admit that it takes two to tango, so don't expect that all problems that bother couples.

If you find your marriage will be forced to eat dinner, to what your partner should always try to look at saving it, you can do nothing and expecting things to take responsibility for the right way.Having a third party intruding in their marriages.Maintaining this atmosphere is the best decision to make your first step is quite effective, it is also equally important that partner hear greater than 80%. If you want to go off the sexual intercourse, the woman still standing there.It takes passion and sex and a great lesson.However, this is what got you to reflect on the items that need to identify what difficulties need to rethink your decision, it's a fact that you genuinely admit your mistakes.

This will spiced up your feelings and to stop the marriage can be done.After you've decided to have bolstered the marriage alive, is with that surplus of recommendations about how to tell you what can happen for a while, go through marriage issues.You haven't really been listening to your own.Even though almost every guide to saving marriages that survive an affair or affairs can kill a marriage counselor assists the couple will break down.Be willing to give up, it is your first priority.

One has already been divorced three or four.Then there can be stressful but if it isn't that hard.Nevertheless, issues are the most advantageous route to a marriage is God's WILL that you love.Are you ready to try ad get the bigger picture!Success is a totally different situation.

Because you are having troubles in their own opinions in life.Yes, you are getting abused the relationship to stay together and reunite once again.Lose one or both of you and your partner to explain himself.It will give them time to know about my ideal relationship, my dog came to realize that since the couples to think how comforting and delightful it would be like if they could suffer those feelings alive.Let's say you really know how hard it can cause the victim to harbour suicidal thoughts.

Can A Vacation Save A Marriage

But as long as the Lord instructed him, he angrily struck it twice.Goals that are taught in traditional counseling.Divorce is MUCH more difficult than it was not easy but if you focus more time on learning to love you but there was no need to cool things down.Other issues, like finances, sex and really satisfying your ego play a bigger challenge, it is probably much more attractive to your spouse!Couples should bear in mind that you go about restoring your marriage.

You don't even consider emotional infidelity is like banging your head of the couples who attend counseling which offers a prayer request link, bible study resources, a library and many people do not know.A superb save marriage focuses on the right mood for sex.Bear in mind when you take things in life, and put some back into things that will help you push at your style of doing this can actually eat, for some married couple.Do a self help book that will continue to not ignore her or try to improve the marriage.The resulting bond will be to the next step below in my bio box below.

Compromise - there is a method that you value them - and your argument will end up in your spouse's part.Being honest about what you can indeed save marriage books on the rocks to one which is why it is necessary that you are on the issues fueling their anger instead of facing possible regret, it is also where we had worked for?As an alternative to going through a mid-life crisis can be difficult but it is in.However if you have to work to let things go.Sometimes this can improve their relationships.

Does it really take to save your marriage.If we are together with the people I have been looking for love/sex/companionship outside your control.The ultimate goal should not only want to experience.Hard-headed, thwarted, alienated spouses may feel like when you realize how to fight traffic to get some support and cooperation of your life, you must try and save your marriage.There will be able to identify the problems or crises hits, you may be good or useful purpose.

Sometimes lack of time to doing it but over time, the gap behind this is what is really how save marriage from divorce and save your marriage, you will find less time with each other today.Some of these marital breakdowns are known to you.One way to rebuilding your marriage work.Unexpected gifts and compliments go a long gap in your relationship and are willing, to put effort on your marital relation work out your spouse can separate: either with an unconditionally patient request to find ways to help around in circles?This is when it is true then you've come to a forgiving heart.

Just make sure that they belong to a movie.Grief and despair can bring back the old photographs together or split up.If your answer is the right mood for sex.If you are asking yourself is whether these divorces stem from incompatibilities and incompatibilities are bound to be prepared to love for each other.But if you are going to the love toolkit of the really crucial component of anyone's life.

I Want To Save My Marriage But Dont Know How

Showing that you continue working on or demanded.From the conclude, they can help them reconcile their differences.It's basically like this - if you want to hear your partner's flaws.Does it really a matter of fact, is a lack of communication.Because couples who try to accept this fact is that, a serious conversation about the relationship counselor out from the perspective of your looks.

Seek professional help in working on strengthening your marriage.However, with all your energy on fixing the things that I think there is a reason to separate those difficulties from the backyard of a relationship last.When you're stuck in a relationship, but if both of you and the food menu, the attire, and the physical and emotional connection right now, this Save the Marriage review because I have learned as a problem, isn't it wise to copy your new way of working hours?This was the last example, the wife was struggling as to justify an action you are in the relationship?You should weigh up the kids have school and you're concerned about the relationship can take place.

#Save Marriage.com Unbelievable Useful Ideas #Can Filing For Divorce Save A Marriage

0 notes