I originally said this in a reblog but, picture this
Bruce Wayne gets invited by BuzzFeed to read thirst tweets. They are all from his Justice League coworkers.
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Bruce, in a completely monotonous voice: @Superman says: I wanna suck Bruce Wayne's soul out through his dick and spit it back in his face.
Bruce, with a completely straight face: Poetic
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Cue the batkids watching this video after its been uploaded and gone viral on Twitter: Remember when Uncle Supes wrote that tweet about you when he was stoned off his ass??
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Said video was further used as blackmail by Tim, Jason and Steph. Duke couldn't look him in the eye for a week straight. Damian is yet to understand why the kids at school keep making jokes about his dad.
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The Justice League will never live it down
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DC can shoot blockbuster movies, but only WFA is genius enough to introduce PTA mom! Bruce who's extremely competitive.
I need Battinson, youngest parent there by far, to roll in, smudged make up, bruises, a busted red lip.
No one thinks to link those marks to Batman. They're OBVIOUSLY evidence of a long night of fooling around in the club instead of caring for his young ward
Margie thinks that's funny, seeing as this guy obviously doesn't get out much. She tried putting him through the trial of Intimidating Mom Show Off and he just said, " I'm going to cry in the bathroom. Excuse me."
I'm sorry, but Bruce being openly affectionate with Dick, Jason, Damian, Cass, and Tim, -- kisses on the cheek, hugs that last until the teacher breaks them off, - would have the fathers cringing.
" Haha, I don't do that with my kids. I'm actually here because my wife bitched at me."
Bruce, straight up, " Don't you like your children?"
" Excuse me?!"
" Not yet. Why do you hate your kids?"
" I love my kids, I just can't wait to get away from them. Come on, you know how it's like."
" No. I love my babies. Why do you hate your babies? Why do you hate your wife. I'll pay for your divorce if you want."
Bruce gets reported VERY often to the principal and board for being inappropriate, and you know what? They refuse to do anything. It was about time someone raised hell around here.
Duke, age 8, watching a grown man throw a tantrum because Bruce called Dick 'baby' : Bruce. I can poke him with my sword
Bruce: Not yet, Duke
Jason tries exploding every kid he doesn't like with his mind. "Trust me, you won't like the alternative. Now be gone! My papi brought me lunch." It's a lunchbox full of books.
Bruce gets along the best with the mothers. They treat him like the class hamster
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5/1/24 - AYOOO?? NEW CONTENT???
Also I think Thomas got confused cause the into the unknown video uh was released in October but uh- YES HAPPY PATTON AND JANUS NAME REVEAL DAY
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