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scripttorture · 3 years

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Hello! I have a few questions related to your most recent post and the definition of torture. You said:

"A trained person who was never tortured will always out perform someone whose training involved torture."

According to everything else I have seen on your blog, this makes sense - the mental and physical trauma from being tortured have lasting effects which make certain tasks more difficult.

However, this seems to juxtapose certain tropes I've seen in US military training advertisements. For example, "Hell Week" in the Navy SEAL training seems like it would be torture if it was forced upon someone (like if the soldiers didn't sign up for it and didn't have the option to quit.). *Hell Week is when soldiers are training continuously for 5 days in freezing, wet conditions, with little more than 4 hours of sleep for the entire week, under insane amounts of physical and mental stress.

- If someone chose to be tested both mentally and physically, I feel like it wouldn't be torture. However, if the same exact conditions were forced upon someone else (testing their mental and physical limits without their consent or understanding), does your quote above mean that the person who did not have a choice would not reap the benefits of the training/testing? Or would the Navy SEALs be better soldiers if they didn't have to go through 'torturous conditions' during Hell Week, regardless of their choice to do so?

(I used Hell Week as an example, but I meant this question generally. I'm trying to figure out how to best train an elite soldier and avoid any harmful torture apologia tropes, while also making sure that they are able to handle insanely challenging situations)

- My other question has more to do with the definition of torture that you quoted from the UN in one of your master posts. If someone is being seriously injured (pulled fingernails, whipping, starvation etc), but not for the purposes of interrogation, punishment, or intimidation, is that still torture, or is that just abuse? And, regardless of what we call it, would the effects be the same as if it were torture for any of the three motives above?

Sorry if this is long and hard to understand, I can clarify if needed!

It’s not the longest I’ve gotten and it’s perfectly clear, duck*. :) Honestly this is a difficult topic with a lot of nuance, it’s better to take a longer and more thoughtful approach.

From the stand point of the legal definition and what we study/understand as torture any consensual activity, however extreme, is not torture.

But here’s where it gets interesting: consent and our attitude to an activity actually changes our response to pain. It may even change how much pain we feel.

I’m going to take a slightly different example to yours. There are a lot of cultures globally that have practiced scarification, ritual cutting to deliberately form scars. And this can be done for a lot of reasons: membership of a family or clan, coming of age, traditional medicine, religion, you get the idea.

A lot of people in these cultures describe their scars as incredibly important and the process of getting them as a moving, deep and positive process.

This does not mean they wouldn’t be traumatised if they were attacked by someone with a knife.

Being able to approach something painful and see it as positive really changes our perspective. It makes trauma and mental illness a lot less likely. And being able to back out, even if it’s just for a little while to take a breather, seems to make us able to withstand more pain then we would have otherwise.

The simplest and most famous experiment that dealt with this relationship between our mindset and pain asked people to keep their hands in ice cold water. They timed how long people could do it when they were told to stay silent and how long they could do it when they were allowed to swear. If they swore they could hold their hands under for longer. An average of forty seconds longer.

Looking back over O’Mara (Why Torture Doesn’t Work, a very good intro to how pain works and what it does to the brain) the way he describes it as by thinking of the experience of pain as a collection of three things. There’s the physical sensation itself, the nerves firing. But there’s also an affective component, how we feel emotionally about the experience and a cognitive component, how we think about it.

Did you ever play that game as a kid where you stuff as many chilis as possible in your mouth to see who would spit them out first? I… might have done. And from what I remember it hurts an awful lot. But those memories to me are mostly about messing about with my friends, I remember trying to be stubborn about it and I remember us laughing at each other.

This is a completely different experience to someone being held down and having chili stuff up their nose. But the difference isn’t necessarily in the physical damage done or the physical sensation of pain. It’s in the other components, the emotional response and the rationalisation.

I also had a filling drilled in my tooth without painkillers as a kid. I don’t know how common this is in the West? It happened in Saudi. Honestly my biggest memory of it is the language barrier between myself and the dentist.

These are anecdotes obviously but I’m trying to show that you probably also have experiences in your own life that back up the experiments too. The way we think about a painful experience really does make a huge amount of difference. And that means consent matters enormously.

These soldiers are going into this experience knowing what to expect, how long it will last and that they can stop at any time. That makes a huge amount of difference. Those same factors have drastically increased the time volunteers will spend in solitary confinement for research. I’m pretty sure if I dug even a little I’d find pain studies with similar findings.

Here’s the flip side: the physical factors are still in play.

Sleep is an important physiological process that’s essential to normal functioning. Studies on consensual sleep deprivation have shown massive negative impacts on memory along with a host of other things that you can read about here.

Let’s take a non torture example. A student who stays up all night cramming for an exam is not going to develop the symptoms of trauma that a torture survivors who was sleep deprived would. But the effect sleep deprivation has on memory is due to sleep playing an essential role in preserving memory (and learning more generally.) So they’re both likely to have difficulty remembering things in days just before and just after sleep deprivation. They’re also both more likely to have false memories and catch a bad cold.

As a result of this memory impairment I question the educational value of anything involving sleep deprivation: you can’t learn while messing up the processes that let your brain remember things.

There have been cases in the UK of people dying during training for the armed forces. Because while consent makes a huge difference, mindset makes a huge difference- our bodies still have limits. We can choose to push ourselves past those limits and, whatever our motivation or feelings, it can do real harm.

Personally? I’m unsure of the benefit of these kinds of exercises. As in I’m unsure there is a benefit. Learning is going to be shot, chances of injury are going to be a lot higher- I don’t see anything that could be improved by these sorts of exercises.

Anecdotally people do report feeling like a closer unit after going through these sorts of routines. That might be the benefit: moral and unit cohesion, possibly self-esteem too.

If you’re making up something for your story I think it’d be helpful for me to mention a little statistical effect that gets used to justify punishment pretty regularly. Get some dice out if you’ve got them and roll one. Let’s say the number represents performance in some kind of test (because effort and learning matter but our performance also varies because of things we can’t control.) A roll of 1 gets punished, a roll of 6 gets praised.

Now after you roll that first 1 statistically speaking the chances are your next roll will be better. And if you roll a 6 then statistically speaking the chances are your next roll will be worse. People observe this effect in real life and they often conclude that there’s no point in praising someone but that punishment leads to improvement. Really it’s just a statistical effect, after a particularly, noticeably bad day the chances are things will be better next and vice versa.

This effect can make it difficult for people to recognise overall, long term progress. Which is the kind of progress you should be paying attention to when designing a training program.

If you want good performance from people, whatever the metric, the most efficient thing to do is ensure that those people are; well fed, have access to clean water, get plenty of sleep, have breaks and have access to medical treatment when they need it.

I’d say the main things to keep in mind when designing this fictional training regime are:

Being honest about the effects you describe, ie if they’re spending long periods without shelter are they at risk from exposure? If they’re standing in cold water are they going to get hypothermia?

Remember that even if something is damaging or causes lasting trauma it would not necessarily prevent someone from doing their job. Torture survivors have serious, lasting symptoms but many of them still work.

I think I’m going to leave that there because I’m not an expert in militaries or training people. And keep in mind that I am a pacifist, read this with my biases in mind.

Getting to the second question, there is a little more to the UN definition then that. The primary factor is still who the abuser is. For it to be torture (legally speaking) the abuser has to be (or be ordered by) an on-duty government employee, part of a group that controls territory (ie an occupying force). Some countries also count international organised criminal gangs in this definition.

It’s also important to note that torture can be targetted at someone other then the victim. So if the police arrest the brother of a political opponent and beat him in order to intimidate the politician, that is still torture.

Basically there are a lot of factors in the legal definition of torture and it’s that way by design. The hope is that you end up with a framework that captures as much government abuse as possible.

But it also means that there’s a pretty high barrier when it comes to proving torture. Which means that things which are legally torture can be prosecuted as assault, bodily harm or equivalents to these, because it’s easier to get a conviction for those charges.

Technically you are correct: if abuse done by a government official doesn’t have one of the four motivations in the legal definition (attempts to obtain information, forcing a confession, intimidation or punishment) then it doesn’t meet the definition.

However in practice I’ve not heard of a case failing because of the motive.

I’m not a lawyer and I’m not an expert in international law. I won’t say it’s never happened. But it’s much more common for cases to fail for other reasons. Off the top of my head I’d say the most common reason is difficulty proving the abuse took place.

The most common types of torture today are ‘clean’, a term we use to indicate that they don’t leave obvious marks. If someone turns up with fingernails torn out or the skin of their back lacerated by a whip that is clear physical evidence of abuse. Nothing else causes similar injuries. But if someone turns up at a doctor’s with swollen feet or reddened skin, if they’ve lost a lot of weight or they’re so tired they’re struggling to stand… Well all of those things can be caused by common tortures. But they can also be caused by common illnesses.

A lot of the deaths from torture today are similarly hard to prove. Beatings and stress positions ultimately cause death by kidney failure. Which can mean that prosecutors are asked to prove a victim didn’t have an underlying health condition. Or take drugs.

Honestly my instinct is that the motive is the easiest thing to prove. It’s often harder to bring charges against people in positions of authority, regardless of the country we’re talking about. Bringing those charges, proving abuse took place and proving it was done by the person in question, those are usually the tricky parts.

The difference between torture and abuse is scale. Torture is industrial scale abuse.

The law doesn’t define that scale but that’s what we’re talking about when we talk about abuse from organised authority. Abusers might have dozens of victims. Torturers have thousands, tens of thousands.

If you want to explore a different motivation in your story, something outside the legal framework, consider the scale at which this abuse is taking place. Consider how organised it is. If it’s organised and large scale, with multiple abusers, with no prior relationship between the abuser and victims then torture will probably be a better model then abuse. If it’s smaller scale with a more personal relationship and if it isn’t supported by a legal framework/organisation then abuse might be a better model.

For victims and survivors the difference isn’t so much about the symptoms they personally experience as the… side effect of that scale. Abuse victims are often very isolated and may not know anyone who has had a similar experience. Torture implies a community of survivors and possibly generational trauma. There are also effects to do with access to support, access to medical care and how likely it is that someone will be believed.

Torture survivors are often systematically disenfranchised in a way that abuse victims are not. Torture survivors are often forced to leave their home country. Anecdotally, based on what I’ve seen globally over the last few years, I think that struggling to get citizenship is increasingly an issue for torture survivors. And without citizenship there’s difficulty finding legal work, getting accommodation, accessing medical care, accessing the legal system etc.

I do not know whether torture survivors are more or less likely to be believed by their community compared to survivors of abuse. I do not think any one has attempted a comparative study. I do know that the prevalence of clean torture means that many torture survivors are not believed and this puts up a further barrier, making it harder to access medical treatment and bring charges.

Rejali’s book was published in 2009, so things may have changed a tad. At the time he was writing the average wait for a torture survivor to see a specialist doctor was about 10 years.

Abuse is to torture what murder is to genocide. And there are difference on a wider social scale as a result.

I mention all that because I feel it’s relevant but the impression I get is you’re mostly interested in the long term symptoms? In which case, yes the legal definition makes very little difference. The physical injuries caused by particular kinds of abuse don’t change depending on whether it’s a private individual or a police officer holding the Taser.

The lasting psychological symptoms are not particular to torture; they’re what the human brain does when traumatised. The same symptoms can manifest in people who witness traumatic events but weren’t actually hurt themselves. They can manifest in people who were injured in accidents and they manifest in people who were neglected or abused. Hell, I have a couple of them, though no where near the severity a torture survivors would experience. A sufficient amount of stress is enough for these symptoms to start developing in anybody.

You can find the general list of symptoms here. There’s also a post specifically about memory problems over here.

The pattern I describe; that these symptoms are a list of possibilities not ‘every torture victim will get all of these’ holds true for trauma survivors generally. Anecdotally there is some variability with chronic pain being reported more often with some kinds of abuse. That might be because it can have physical causes, psychological causes or a mix of the two.

Whether it’s torture or abuse there isn’t any way to predict a survivor’s symptoms in advance. Much of the advice I have about writing torture survivors and their symptoms holds true for trauma survivors generally. Which is why I’ll still take a crack at some questions that aren’t about torture.

Pick the symptoms that you feel fit the character and serve the story. We can’t predict symptoms and that means that there’s no reason why you shouldn’t pick the things that appeal to you.

And I think I’m going to leave it there. I hope that helps :)

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

*This is a weird English endearment. I had someone ask if this was me trying not to swear.

#orphicphosphenes #writing advice #tw torture #torture as training #legal definition of torture #clean torture #military abuse #trauma #trauma and consent #pain #pain and memory #sleep deprivation #attitudes towards clean tortures #writing survivors #abuse within the military

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eintsein · 3 years

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hi hi! could you please share your study techniques and advice for economics majors? I survived lower division just fine but upper division courses :( .

Hii! First of all, I want to apologize for answering this quite late - I wanted to give you an answer that's thorough enough and helpful. Read on below for tips!

Disclaimer: these tips are from my own experience and the experience of my peers, most of whom are in US institutions. However, I do think these tips should apply to many economics major programs.

Strengthen your mathematics foundations

Upper-division economics courses are math at their core. Here's an example of the objectives of an intermediate microeconomics course (source)

understanding the concepts of Pareto and sum-of-surplus efficiency, being able to determine whether a preference relation is complete, transitive, monotonic, and convex, and being able to determine whether a production function exhibits increasing, decreasing, or constant returns to scale.

Preference relations are concepts from discrete math. Increasing, decreasing, and constant returns are concepts from calculus.

Many upper-division courses also require knowledge of probability and statistics (game theory courses especially). Research-based classes often recommend having taken econometrics. Theoretical classes like decision theory are, as the name suggests, theoretically rigorous, so being comfortable with proofs is necessary, and knowing math theory is a great help.

A lot of people (myself included) struggle with higher division economics courses because they were not mathematically prepared. While you can definitely learn as you go, it will make your life a whole lot easier having the preparation or at least the comfort to work with the required mathematical concepts and use certain mathematical skills.

An example from personal experience: I had taken econometrics (a theoretical version) the spring of my sophomore year without much knowledge of multivariable calculus and having taken calculus II over a year before taking this class, and honestly I felt I had to work so much harder than my peers who were math majors or minors.

So yeah, you should definitely brush up on your math skills if you find yourself struggling. This could mean doing extra practice, looking for tutoring, or even taking a course.

Strengthen your economics foundations

Upper-division economics courses really build on lower-division courses. As far as I know, the purpose of upper-division courses is to teach us to synthesize what we learned from lower-division courses, i.e. to use the tools and techniques we've learned, and apply them to new economic settings.

For example, last fall I took a course on public finance (also known as welfare economics) and one of the topics we studied was regulating pollution. Two of the regulation methods we focused on were 1) cap & trade, i.e. giving pollution permits that can be traded, and 2) emission fees, i.e. setting a fee if emission is above a certain amount. The graphs below illustrate the two methods for two cases: inelastic marginal social benefit of pollution reduction, and elastic MSB of pollution reduction. Marginal cost and marginal social benefit curves are usually taught in lower-division courses, as are concepts of elasticity and demand-supply models.

Another example from the same class: evaluating Pareto efficiency of the allocation of public goods involves being comfortable with indifference curves, utility functions, and production possibility curves, as shown below. (Even if you don't understand what's going on, the general shapes should look familiar.)

Use the course's learning objectives to guide you

My probability and statistics professor taught me that the first step in studying any subject is to look at the learning objectives. These are the things you are expected to get out of the course and so they are the things you will be expected to know on an exam, do in a project/assignment, etc., not just information but also skills and techniques.

Study and practice drawing graphs

Graphs can hold a lot of information given that you know how to interpret them. In many cases, I found that if I understand the graph, then I understand the concept. Studying graphs saves a lot of study time, too, since the material's been summarized really neatly, and chances are you'll need to know the graph, too.

For many of my economics classes, I create a study guide comprising only graphs. These aren't just the graphs that are explicitly taught in class, though. I try to include as many cases, including special cases, because it teaches me to be able to think through the concepts being used in the graphs, instead of just being like, okay this is what it looks like.

For example, when studying Edgeworth-Bowley boxes, I drew them with different types of indifference curves, and then for each of them, I drew their utility possibility frontiers. Or when studying anything involving demand-supply curves (e.g. different types of taxation), I draw a graph for each combination of demand and supply elasticities (e.g. inelastic demand with inelastic supply; inelastic demand with elastic supply; etc.).

Of course, I don't always get it right. If there's something I'm unsure about or don't understand, I go to office hours for help.

Learn from assignments and practice a lot

Your assignments point out the types of questions you'll be expected to analyze and work through and thus can guide your studying, whether it's mathematical problem sets or a series of essays.

In classes with problem sets, doing them seriously helps SO much. They train your mental muscles to be able to solve or analyze the problems you're expected to be able to solve and analyze after taking the course. Your professor created these problem sets to achieve the learning objectives. If you're having trouble with any part of the problem set, you probably don't understand a key concept, skill, or technique the course expects you to, and that's totally fine; just don't forget to work on it and ask for help.

In addition, problem sets also serve as great revision tools to help you actively recall and synthesize the material you've studied.

Go to office hours for conceptual help

I've mentioned a couple times to reach out for help if you need it and I cannot stress this enough. In most cases, professors and TAs (teaching assistants) are more than willing to help you succeed. I would suggest going to each instructor/staff member if there are multiple and seeing which one is the most helpful, i.e. the person who can fill in your knowledge gaps the easiest, who understands your misunderstandings. Sometimes it's the professor, other times the TA is a better fit. Sometimes the TA gives better help for problem sets but the professor gives better help for conceptual problems. Use the resources available to you!

I hope this helps, and please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any other questions :)

#answered #economics #study tips #university #studyblr #uniblr #studyspo #study hard #studying #tips

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imdreaminadream · 3 years

Text

The results pt 2 ~ what about it makes you cringe?” Category 3

( - prologue. - part 1 - category 1 - category 2 )

Okay so this is the results to the question in the quiz, What about it makes you cringe. In reference to the questionnaires core subject about smut fanfics.

Also quick psa there will be a part for the results for the other question - “In kpop fics, Korean words i.e. jagiya, seem to be a no no, would you like to elaborate why?”

Now note these particular results are going to be split into 3 posts because I decided to split the results into 3 categories. 1 - Writing Aspects. 2 - Personal Preferences. 3 - Genuine Problems. >This post is category 3<

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR MENTIONS OF - rape, minors engaging in sex, child pornography, childhood trauma, unsafe bdsm/kinky sex, misogyny?, toxic masculinity? anything else that needs to be tagged message me so I can add them.

DISCLAIMER BELOW. (please read that before continuing)

This is going to be a long post. The responses were very enlightening but please don’t take this as an attack. Consider this more as constructive cheat sheet to good smut writing or just ignore it if you don’t agree with it. Some of this did a bit deep apricate trigger warnings will be put on the appropriate posts but I’m not sorry it got deep fics can also affect real life as much as we wish it were something that didn’t mix in with real life, it does. I’m no official like sex guru or big-time writer, or what ever BUT I did add little advice underneath each answer, which are just a reflection of the people’s answers. Again if you don’t like the sounds of this don’t take it personal and click off.

Genuine problems

Rape territory - There was a common theme of people commenting about what is essentially edging into rape territory. This was talked about with both sexes, where one expresses, they’re not in the mood but the other just continues to make advances on them until they end up having sex. Everyone who spoke about it mentioned it comes across as coercive or forceful (which would be dubious consent, but I personally know how no one tags it as that because they don’t realize.) something that makes them immediately stop reading and knocks an author’s credit in their eyes. When a character is crying as though they’re not enjoying it, but the sex doesn’t stop and there is not safe word that is used.

No advice for this just use common sense.

Lack of tags which indicate trigger/content warnings - This only came up a handful of times but considering its importance I added it in here to talk about. The comments about it were straight forward as is the topic. Some authors aren’t tagging their work appropriately and it’s actually quite dangerous. You tag your work for a reason to let people know what is involved in it before they read, tagging everything is crucial. If something isn’t tagged you risk the reader, at the very least, the reading but then feeling discontent because it had something in they don’t like to read. Then at the worst you risk people’s mental health, you risk them having panic attacks, anxiety attacks because their trigger was in your fic but they didn’t know because it wasn’t tagged for them to see and know not to read because it could trigger them.

Advice for this is to bold things which you know for sure are sensitive topics, and make sure to tag everything in your damn fucking tag section. You risk people having panic attacks when you don’t tag your work right and they read your work only to find out it has their trigger included in it being blindsided because after reading your shitty tags they didn’t know but you put it in there. Also please don’t just tag smut, tag everything included in that smut because something works are tagged smut and then next thing you know person b is being choked, clothes cut by a knife, restrained with rope, told they’re a slut/whore.

They’re a minor - This also only came up a handful of times, not because people don’t care but probably because they don’t commonly come across it enough however this is incredibly important topic even outside of what about smut makes you cringe. This shouldn’t be a problem, as in it shouldn’t be happening as the people who commented, me and all of you know. They’re a minor, under 18, they’re technically still considered child in the law’s eyes anything sexual about them, like writing smut about them would be considered child pornography. “Things that persons under 18 are prohibited from doing - being depicted in pornographic materials.” No one even cares about “but I’m the same age as them uwu.” It still doesn’t make it right so don’t try and use excuses. Also, the minute a person turns 18 if your first thought is oh, I can write smut about them or request someone to write it for me please just leave that’s like preying on them as though you counted down till they were 18 and now the only value you see in them is for sex.

Mine and everyone else’s advice DON’T FUCKING DO IT.

Also, to note I don’t know what the official rules are for age swapping so like writing an adult person as a minor and depicting them in smut materials, to cope with your trauma, would anyone be open to talking to me about it, like educating me? There has just been this sudden wave more fics being, it’s okay to write adult that I made a child in my fic engaging in sexual content because it helps me cope with my trauma. It just seems everyone’s started saying that and I don’t know how many are being genuine or using it as an excuse or gone with the flow treated it like a trend. Not to be rude just genuinely how legit is this? How many people who write it have genuinely experienced that trauma? P.s if you have experienced that trauma, I am genuinely so sorry and know I am not disrespecting or invalidating your trauma I promise.

Female Characters/misogyny? - Now what this means is everyone expressed how they hate the constant portrayal that it only takes seconds for a female to reach an orgasm and she already wet to go like some kind of tap. They also highlighted a big problem with constantly painting the female as this innocent, dainty, dumb, naïve, shy, small, little girl. Women have brains too; women can give as good as they get and aren’t these shy naïve little playthings. All women have different personalities, the stereotypes about women in fics I’ve seen through the answers, and myself in fics, to my questionnaire is upsetting everyone. And you can see why, is it not bad enough we are subjected to misogyny and stereotyped in real life but now we have to see it in fics too. It genuinely does make people stop reading, it makes them cringe as the answers have suggested. One person mentioned this in their response, and I feel it should also be included, “y/n is absolutely okay with everything being done to her.” This isn’t something we should ever hear. This category feels like the right category to mention it so just consider their words, consider why that makes them cringe at smut writing that includes that.

To everyone the advice is a no brainer when you look at the responses. Make sure that the female character is actually getting turned on like into the mood before even thinking about mentioning that she is wet. And consider that a lot of statistics and personal experiences of other women stating it’s not all that easy to orgasm during sex, and not typical for her to come before the male, so make it sound like it’s worth the female characters while not that they do it for 3 minutes and suddenly she is coming.

Please also STOP with the constant bullshit of stereotyping of women as exampled above. If you like to feel small or submissive or whatever in the bedroom and you express that in your fics I get you but that does not mean you have to portray the female character as dumb, naïve, small, weak like for the love of god spice it up a bit, make her powerful, clever, with personality etc.… being in charge of her own body, knowing about her body, and what she wants and how to get it.

Btw no one is saying it’s not okay to be shy and that before you come in here like “why are you shaming shy, or small girls or dd/lg kink,” it’s not that I can assure you. We’re talking about the stereotype of it that is used to make the women seem more pliable for the man to control essentially not the genuine personalities/kinks people have.

Very passive sub female reader and overly dom male - Now many people spoke how an over macho dom male, and a passive - made out like they’re dumb, submissive female is a dynamic that is making them cringe now. It’s not a dynamic they care for anymore, and I agree with them especially considering the issues it brings about. “ Whenever the female reader is extremely passive and shy/flustered whereas the idol/character is extremely assertive/condescending/dominating/leading everything in comparison.” There is a personal preference to this yes# people acknowledged this, however when talking about this dynamic they further explained the issues with it. Overly passive female has already been touched on but to reiterate the replies insinuated they’re sick of seeing women in fics treated how they are in real life essentially – like some dumb little girl. One person said, “I like when the girl can give as good as she gets, though that’s just my preference.” So, like what has been discussed before this portrayal of females it absolute bullshit and needs to fucking stop being such a constant portrayal. (mind break is different so don’t start)

Then for the male side of things it’s enforcing the stereotype men are macho an alpha male, they don’t have feelings they just think with their dick and have all grr I’m super toxically manly do you ever lift bro, I’m so strong, I get all the bitches, fuck all the girls, the have control over the passive female and not in a consenting way, in an entitled way. Which no, they can have feelings, they can be softer more feminine all whilst still identifying as a man. They can be submissive just as much as a anyone else, they can be a switch or just a dom that isn’t this macho, macho, man. They can be needy, loving, caring, in touch with themselves, their feelings and everything the female character is made out to be, apart from dumb, naïve and weak of course, yano all those negative things any gender and non-gender people want to be associated with. If the guy wants to get railed by the female and be the sub in the dynamic of male x female, then fair enough let it happen there isn’t nothing wrong with it.

All in all, it’s okay for males to be more feminine than masculine and females more masculine than feminine. It’s okay to portray that in fics genuinely. I wouldn’t say I have any advice for this other than the obvious no more macho man and passive females.

Use of Korean words. - If you’re not a Korean person don’t think you’re in the right to argue about this. The Korean people have spoken up and you will listen and respect them. Know this is an important topic, however there will be a separate post for this, so I’ll keep this bit short to then expand on more in the separate post. Just wanted to make you the reader aware that this is an issue. It’s not okay to be treating noona, unnie and oppa like a kink if you are not Korean, or have Korean heritage. The people who are Korean so kindly explained, it was a normal word for them like just another part of their culture until bad egg kpop fans got their hands on it and they have now sexualized it to the point where some Korean people do not feel comfortable to even use it without thinking of the sexual connotation it has now been given.

Now like I said I will talk further about that and more, to do with the use of Korean words in fics, in another post, I don’t already have that post drafted so it might take a while to get out and post. However in that time I’m gladly open to hearing more people who are Korean and have Korean heritage, views on this. Or if you too have experience with a word from your language having been taken from being an innocent word to now having a sexual connotation as well because of people not from your country/culture having given it that sexual meaning. It could be helpful to further emphasis the point about the Korean words but also show overall no matter the language/country that it’s making the people of that country/culture uncomfortable.

Also I hope it doesn’t come across like I’m trying to speak over Koreans. If anything i want to be helpful more than a hinderance. This was something that was spoken about on the questionnaire so I’m just writing what the Korean people have expressed about it in the questionnaire. I want to be able to give their voices from the questionnaire a platform and shed light on this situation, with them.

Also can I ask if gender is a factor in this as well? I’ve seen on tiktok where some Korean guys like being called oppa but I’m not sure if that's in a respectful light or a sexual light, if they were being sarcastic for the Korea-boos or? but i have never seen women say they like being called noona in a way that comes across as a turn on? So can anyone comment on that? send me anons pls.

Too much degradation - Of course everyone who has mentioned this has said it is quite a personal preference thing, the acknowledge that it’s a kink not for everyone. Although on the flip side them relentlessly mentioning it give the feel that it’s becoming more of a problem and less of it’s okay it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. You see they exampled “bitch, slut, whore.” It’s so commonly used, and they even said how they’re finding it not tagged majority of the time, so seeing that surprisingly in the fics constantly it makes them cringe but it’s not a type of thing one can get over it’s apparent it’s becoming a slight problem. It begs the question how much degradation is too much, why is it constantly being used in fics? Does everyone love labeling the female y/n a bitch, whore, slut? Why is the male y/n never called a slut as much as female y/n? Do females have more of a degradation kink than men?

I can’t think of any advice to give based on the feedback, apart from obviously add it to your tags that there is a lot of degradation but it there is anything anyone else wants to add on this topic feel free to re-blog with your take or send me anons.

Describing features on a y/n fic - A few people have mentioned this, and I categorized it as a problem because well it is because not only does it make them cringe in smut fics but also in normal fics and poc feel oppressed in yet another way. When it’s written as y/n it’s supposed to allow the reader to insert themselves into the fic to imagine themselves in there, yet it’s not always done like that. As one of the responses said, it seems authors like that tend to project themselves or their ideal selves onto y/n physical feature wise. More often than not as the responses have indicated y/n is portrayed as cis female, white, blonde, blue eyes, other physical traits such as breast size, dick size body type, height and hair length are portrayed too, which pulls the readers out of imagining because they’re being told they have features they don’t. It’s especially bad for poc because their race never gets portrayed in fics, so it gives the message white race is the most favorable and we already know how racist the world is no need to bring it into fics either unknowingly or purposely.

Moral of the story, stop racism, end it. Go educate yourself.

Moral of the story, in regard to fics, well don’t describe y/n thoroughly. Instead leave it as vague as possible, I mean it’s not even needed to know what eye colour y/n has when they’re in the middle of getting railed.

Quick intermission to just say make sure you tag what gender and pronouns y/n has for your fic, so people are fully aware what y/n they’re getting in this fic.

Nor do we need to know what skin colour they have, it can easily be mentioned that a character is touching y/n’s body without saying they have milky skin indicating they’re white. It is very possible to not give y/n a race. Also, height, keep height out of it don’t describe it because not everyone is 5’2. (hello yes, I’m 5’10 so imagine me reading character a of height 5’8 towering over me, I mean maybe if they wear heels yes but otherwise no.) Similarly, don’t ever describe body types, you can say an outfit flatters a person’s figure without describing it, people can have sex without their body being specifically described i.e., slim figure, toned shapely legs. Please understand that by not describing y/n you’re helping to contribute to racism, and these wacky beauty standards that are already being forced onto us in the real world never mind the fictional world.

Lack of safe word - Following on from kinks not being portrayed correctly there is the issue of lack of safe word. Now this is something that again didn’t come up quite a lot but that doesn’t mean it’s not an issue. Some are writing fics where one of the people involved, are being railed to high hell and it’s kinky as fuck or you’re writing a BDSM specific fic. Which is okay we are not judging or shaming but it’s concerning how with all this type of sex being had there is no even slight mention of the pairing having a safe word which is has the name would imply really important. It is there to keep the people participating in this kinky sex safe, without that it’s really harmful. Now if you think oh but writing in the discussion of safe words is really unsexy, especially when I’m just trying to make the characters fuck really kinky, then please go educate yourself. Safe words are incredibly sexy when you know it means you get to have bomb ass kinky sex but know that you can also have boundaries that should and will be respected, and a word or system i.e. traffic light system, to pause or stop when ever you need to in order to keep the kinky sexy safe.

The obvious advice is to incorporate consent and knowledge of safe word in your fic. It can be as simple as writing that the characters stop a minute for person a saying to person b you know your safe word. And then writing a small mini paragraph of person b feeling even more in love and/or turned on because their boundaries are being respected. Then you just carry on with writing the smut. You can imply easily that they have a safe word, that it’s been discussed, therefore they’re gong to be safe, respected and made to feel good.

Also, I know there are some people out there who are, a bit unsure on writing a fic in which one person uses their safe word. This is your friendly supportive message to just do it, don’t be afraid of what others think, do it for you it’s something great to write. There are many different ways you can go with it, so you do it if you want to 😊.

Honorable mentions of things that make the people cringe.

(Not a problem just as we are at the end of this category I figured I’d put honorable mentions. disclaimer again, these are other people’s comments from the questionnaire. You are entitled not to agree with them however do not attack me as some have been doing.)

fetishize people’s gender or race/ethnicity

uneducated use of other cultures to make it look authentic

Use of the word plum when they mean plump. One’s a fruit/colour, the other means having a full rounded shape.

PICK ME Y/N (we all know the type)

Stereotypes of all kinds. Of people, phrases, troupes etc.….

Written in a way it sounds monotone. i.e., “He did this, he did that, I did this.”

When all y/n does during a smut scene is whine. There are other synonyms people.

infantilization of y/n. stop making me feel like the person who the fic is about, is a nonce.

y/n is constantly oh so innocent. Like they can be a virgin don’t get it wrong. BUT we all know 9 times out of 10 y/n reads fanfic so they ain’t innocent.·

no refractory period.

try hard humour in the middle of smut.

terrible euphemisms

proper unrealistic dick sizes

adding in smut into a plot where it doesn’t fit

try hard

more to come potentially?

END OF CATERGORY 3

(Feel free to discuss in comments, in my messages or send anons or anything like that if you want.)

@nctsworld @lauraneuuh @jooniyah

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@ceoofxiaojun @lovemayble @myelle-n

(@smutwritingpolice) (@smutwhy)

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hanijunk · 3 years

Text

Alright boys, girls, and nonbinary folks of the world. It’s 5:36am (1/30 when I first started) as I decide to give up on my attempt to continue to focus on learning statistics, avoid studying for my two upcoming midterms, and put off my two actual essays for two different classes.

Instead we’re going into a dive about ✨ KazuFuuma ✨ . Is this me telling you you gotta ship it? No of course not, you’re entitled to your own ships! You don’t really gotta care about it as a ship. But I do want people to recognize it’s THERE canonically, and how disregarding it is extremely unfair to Kazuki as a character particularly. Also, I’m working on the assumption anyone clicking this at least knows the bare bones about what KazuFuuma (ex. You know they are a ship of Kazuki/Fuuma from Dolce, you know they are childhood friends, you know who Dolce is, you know about Honeyworks, etc.) I’ll be making references to specific things, but I won’t always go into heavy detail. Might just hope you know it or take my word for what it is, and go into analyzing it. Some I’ll put direct references to find, but some I’ll trust you can find it yourself. If you somehow read this MAMMOTH and want reference to a specific thing mentioned, hmu I can help you find it!!

Also I hate tumblr formatting sm if you legit wanna read this 7 page essay but hate tumblr format lmk I'll add it as a google doc link instead too. anYWHO

Before actually getting into the meat of things lemme preface some stuff.

Again it’s like almost 6am so this will be disorganized and very train of thought (and likely long due to the fact when I fly by the seat of my pants I’m known to get unnecessarily extensive). It’s definitely gonna be in large part why it’s important to recognize as a romantic relationship foundation and what about it shapes Kazuki’s character in particular. Maybe a bit of how it’s been built up and its general focus and implications. Dunno yet. We’ll see LMAOO

I say f*ck. Not a lot, just a handful of times. This ain’t something scholarly this is for my own enjoyment so if you don’t like that might not wanna read. And it’s not like spitefully I just curse a lot if you haven’t...read my tags before lol

Again this is through the lens of a Kazuki stan. Of COURSE I’m going to have some level of bias, but if anything that bias may help more than hurt because that means I become FIXATED and think a lot about Kazuki. Which plays into establishing just how important it is that Kazufuuma’s relationship is recognized, especially in a romantic light at this point. Lmfao.

I’ll have a few more prefaces about the actual content below but to keep this from getting too long if you wanna read come below the cut owo

I have extremely limited knowledge of Japanese just taking a few classes in highschool (so like 3 yrs ago) and live in America. This means a lot of my knowledge is gathered through the english translations of the super duper incredible and lovely people in the Honeyworks fandom who provide translations (delaix and takanenene esp have provided so much for me being able to understand Dolce) and my own limited Japanese paired with Google Translate for things that remain untranslated.

This only will be drawing on information I have come in contact with and have access to and making assumptions based on that, most (if not all) of which is in the public domain. So things like the Dolce Manga Volumes released via Animate, exclusive 4komas, and Light Novels are out of my area for the most part (apart from again snippets of translations thanks to this fandom’s godlike and generous translators).

I will not be drawing on anything from the first Dolce album with the exception of Nade Nade. From a meta standpoint, I consider those songs as songs made as performance media as opposed to character explorations. Nade Nade is the exception because (1) it was released a whole year before the album and (2) you can tell it’s explicitly an exploration of Fuuma and Kazuki’s interpersonal relationship even if it’s in a slightly more performance based context than the songs that came out with the Dolce LNs. Easiest parallel I can make to show this is if you held Non-Fantasy, Yume Fanfare, and Samishigariya up against each other, you could tell the difference in intended audience and intended purpose the same way the Dolce 1st album, Nade Nade, and the songs of the LNs do respectively. Even if there is some basis to ground Kazufuuma, for the purposes of this essay I’ll be acting under the assumption the 1st album falls under the Non-Fantasy equivalent category.

THAT WAS A LOT OF PREFACING CONSIDERING LIKE 2 PPL WILL PROBABLY READ IT I just have a tendency to anytime I do anything analytical lay down ground acknowledgements for myself to work on just...cuz it makes me feel less guilty for any accidental misinformation even if I’m writing towards my future self to read lolll IM SORRY WITHOUT FURTHER TO DO HERE’S THE BRAIN DUMP

First let’s go ahead and establish why it needs to be recognized as an important relationship. Again, I’m a Kazuki stan. He’s my favorite character not only of Dolce but also of the entire Honeyworks series, and as much as I love him for reasons outside the ship, whether you like it or not Kazufuuma is an essential aspect of his character and narrative. Of course there’s the fact that him and Fuuma are childhood friends, so that’s going to in part define their characters and interactions with each other and those around them. They’re both going to be relevant to one another and important to one another’s stories to an even greater extent than the rest of the members of Dolce. But on Kazuki’s side at least, it’s an EXTREME amount. A running plotpoint in Dolce Diary is the sheer amount of dedication Kazuki has to Fuuma and how much his thoughts and decisions are influenced by Fuuma, whether it be how he feels happiest spending time with Fuuma, how he decided to get his piercing to represent he wanted to protect Fuuma, how he doesn’t want to dislike food so he can eat what Fuuma dislikes, etc. Not to mention running jokes about his borderline overprotectiveness and downright possessiveness of Fuuma, how proud he is when Fuuma gets praised, or that one 4koma that literally explicitly states he can read Fuuma’s mind when he thinks motherfucking ‘dirty thoughts’ about his childhood friend (Fuuma). I still don’t know what the fuck to make of that last bit. Genuinely. Or the fact it’s a fucking running joke. As in it’s not a one off. It’s been brought up multiple times. Kazuki what the fuck.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t have character outside of Fuuma or he doesn’t interact with people other than Fuuma. He’s great friends with Sara, Girisha, and Kippei and is shown time and time again to have fun interactions with all of them, generally acting as the best support friend for every member of the group, not Fuuma alone. For instance how he helps Kippei with his self confidence issues or stays over at Sara’s to protect him from a cockroach (which he fails at lol). Nor is that to say all his interactions involving Fuuma focus solely on his devotion to Fuuma, especially in instances where the manga focuses on Dolce as a group dynamic (though even in that setting there are times where jokes about his devotion are thrown in). He’s kind, he’s stupid, he’s friendly, he’s an amazing character in his own right, and I love him for all those reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact a major part of his character and his character interactions are rooted in Fuuma, and arguably some of his most interesting, eccentric, and notable behaviors and traits revolve around Fuuma (again the mind reading for example).

Hell let’s take it one step further. If you look at the character bios of the Dolce members, you get everyone’s motives for being an idol and interests. Of them, Kazuki is the only one to have another character mentioned directly, not to mention that supporting Fuuma is explicitly stated to be his primary motive as to why he became an idol. Not even Fuuma’s sister is mentioned, though two arguments can be made for this. The first would be that Fuuma’s backstory about wanting to fulfill his dream for himself and his sister was decided later to explain Fuuma’s choice to crossdress though it can be argued it was intentionally done to leave it as a reveal at a later date, to which I would argue I don’t think this backstory was a choice in post. While Fuuma’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra exploring that backstory was released a little less than a year after Dolce was revealed, the preview to set up Fuuma’s backstory was actually the first thing released after the character bios on the Dolce Official Twitter page if you exclude a drawing of Dolce from Yamako. The second argument could be that information about his sister was intentionally withheld to set up the reveal when Fuuma’s extra released to explore it. However, going by that logic (which I do agree with), that would also mean that Fuuma’s inclusion and importance in Kazuki’s character bio also set up his dedicated extra, which I don’t think would be incorrect to assume considering what his actual extra turned out being.

Which brings me to the thing that makes it inexplicable to write off the romantic implications behind Kazufuuma: Kazuki’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra, Suki. I shipped Kazufuuma before even knowing of Suki, sure. But the fact that Suki even exists is a shock to me and drove into me the fact that Kazufuuma wasn’t just my own projection. Again, it’s not a surprise that Fuuma shapes Kazuki’s life. They’re childhood friends, of course they’re going to be important to each other. But this extra explicitly brought Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma under a direct spotlight. At first I was thinking oh, this extra was just to acknowledge the fact that Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship can have romantic implications, but the end of it the conclusion that we got was that it didn’t matter what type of “like” he felt for Fuuma. Originally, I thought it wasn’t anything more than saying there are all types of like, and it doesn’t always need to be explicitly defined, but I appreciated the fact they were aware that they were writing Kazuki in a way that conveyed romantic implications.

Then I thought about it because, again, I love Kazuki of course I’m going to think about his character extra, and realized...that’s not how these character extras have worked. There are only three character extras out as far as I know and have read: Fuuma, Kippei, and Kazuki. If we look at Fuuma and Kippei’s, each extra had a conclusion, sure, but they didn’t have a resolution. Rather, they were simply setting up explicitly what each character’s primary character arc and conflict were. Fuuma’s extra brought attention to the fact that he’s particularly a crossdressing idol by exploring the motives behind it. His choice to be a crossdressing idol is constantly under fire both by himself and the world around him. He’s not immune to those who consider his crossdressing strange, and a part of his story is both finding people who accept his decision to crossdress and to succeed for himself as a crossdressing idol. It’s an essential part of how we understand and define him as a character and it’s a central part of how he interacts with the world around him. For Kippei, it lays the severity of his insecurity under the spotlight and his journey and motives for improving himself. Again, this isn’t something isolated and resolved in the extra; his extreme insecurity and negativity is constantly affecting how he interacts with practically everyone from his fellow Dolce members to his fans despite the fact in all honesty? He’s fucking insanely talented in his own right, his own brother mentioning how smart he is and how he has amazing reflexes. For Kippei, his negativity is an essential part of how we understand and define him and central to how he interacts with the world as much as Fuuma’s decision to crossdress is to him.

Which brings us back to Kazuki, of course. In his dedicated extra, in the chapter that’s supposed to explore and establish and bring attention to an essential part of his character, the aspect of himself under investigation is how he feels about Fuuma. It’s not just how he behaves around Fuuma, it’s explicitly an exploration of his feelings, on top of the fact it’s explicitly an exploration about whether or not he likes Fuuma r o m a n t i c a l l y. Literally the conflict is spurred on by someone outright asking “Do you like him?” and having to clarify “I mean romantically.” What they decided to focus on for Kazuki’s character and emphasize and establish is that Kazuki’s like towards Fuuma toes the line between friendship and romance. His ambiguous feelings towards Fuuma (if we leave them inconclusive as Suki did) are just like Fuuma’s crossdressing and Kippei’s insecurity in the sense the weight of whatever those feelings may be are seen in how he interacts with the world around him and influences his behaviors. It would be another story if they introduced the potential and shut it down all within the extra, because then his central conflict would to me be less directly open to romantic potential and more simply about how his arc was meant to explore the dynamic of the behavior of an extremely dedicated best friend. The fact that he may be romantically attracted to Fuuma or may be only platonically dedicated to Fuuma is instead something that looms over Kazuki in the same way Fuuma’s decision to crossdress constantly looms over him. It’s what Dolce wanted to point to and say this is Kazuki’s central character conflict and central arc: exploring what type of feelings he has towards Fuuma.

Sure, it can be argued that there’s only three Dolce Diary character extras, there’s not enough to be sure about that being the purpose of the extras unless we get the other two’s extras. First, at this point I honestly don’t know if or when they’re going to release an extra revolving around Sara and Girisha just because not only has it been over a year and a half since the latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Kazuki’s) was released despite the gap between the first and latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Fuuma’s and Kazuki’s) were within a year of release but also because the Dolce 4komas and comics they’ve been posting to Twitter have decreased (last one being over half a year ago) potentially due to them deciding to focus on releasing Dolce manga content through the purchasable volumes instead. (This is not particularly related to the Kazufuuma argument, just wanted to put out there my two cents on what Sara and Girisha’s extra/focal arc would be. Based on a large part of the Dolce Diary in conjuncture with Can’t an Idol Fall in Love, I’d argue Sara’s would be his journey to regain his passion for performing, and if it’s not that I’d say it’d be coming out of his self-imposed isolation and opening up to people again. As for Girisha, I have less of a concrete idea but I’m assuming it’d be something pertaining to how people often misconceive him whether it be in tandem with his determination, his optimism and sociability, or his stupidity/ability to ignore those misconceptions and work past them. But Girisha is treated like the comedic relief 90% of the time so I’m not entirely sure, but his primary conflict is definitely rooted in misconceptions of him being his roadblock imo. #MoreGirishaContentPlz) That being said, I personally feel like the three are already enough evidence, especially considering it would be honestly even more cruel for Kazuki’s character-centric extra to be focusing on something that wasn’t essential to his character and character arc, anyway. And though it’s not explicitly stated that these chapters are extras exploring a central character, you can kind of tell based on how they are (to my knowledge) the only Dolce Diary updates with cover/title cards each which include their focal character front and center. So working off that fact, the Kazuki-centric chapter established that a pillar to his narrative was his feelings towards Fuuma and that those feelings are still open to romantic potential.

But if you follow me, this is why up until Can’t an Idol Fall in Love With Another Idol’s release, I was terrified of them writing that off. I would have been ok if it was just an arc that was given attention then continued to actively work in the background, as all the character arcs have been over all of Dolce’s content. The fact that they might be giving Fuuma a love interest and giving Fuuma a love arc while Kazuki’s feelings were still up in the air and were still the primary highlighted narrative for him would have been fucking scuffed. To me, it would be like… why would they make him so Fuuma-centric to the point that even his dedicated chapter was not just focused on Fuuma but focused on the ambiguity and potential of him having romantic feelings for Fuuma, yet reduce him to being Fuuma's designated right-hand man. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. But again, rather than conclude Kazuki’s answer in Suki to be that his feelings were of friendship, they left it open ended and allow audience members to be actively aware that Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma still had potential to be romantically coded. It would just be so weird to quickly close off that narrative by giving Fuuma a love interest as opposed to letting Kazuki conclude it himself. It would be fucking beyond frustrating for me, at least Eventually, I kept trying to drive my hopes that they would explore Kazuki’s narrative at all down to the ground because it was a Fuuma-centric novel; maybe if anything they’d explore those feelings in his own novel after the fact. But then they kept having little drops here and there of Kazuki being even the slightest bit relevant and I’d go back to questioning “Are??? They??? Is this on purpose??? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just doing this because Kazuki’s just so important to Fuuma as his best friend that he’s there as his right-hand I genuinely can’t tell???” And um. Welp.

Safe to say Can’t An Idol Fall in Love sold me on the fact that they know what they’re doing LOL. And to anyone who thinks that Kazuki’s feelings can still be read as ambiguous in CAIFILWAI as opposed to explicitly romantic - whether it be due to a fear they may pull the “I like him as a friend” card or due to the disbelief that they have an explicit mlm main character in the Honeyworks series - I’d like to cover any bases that may make you think this way. If you think it’s just Kazuki acting like a protective friend, why do you think he calls Yui a rival? If you’ve only seen the MV and think it’s ambiguous or can be taken as the "likfe" for friend, then does that mean you think Yui’s feelings toward Fuuma are also ambiguous or as a friend? With the way Yui responds, she is trying to rival Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma. She and Kazuki recognize whatever feeling it is that they hold towards Fuuma, both of their feelings are the same type. I don’t think most people would argue that Yui’s confession about Fuuma was one of pure respect and friendship. Plus, if anything I’d argue of the three characters in the MV, Fuuma is the one whose feelings are left the most ambiguous despite him being the central character. It’s heavily implied that he may be forming feelings for Yui, but nowhere is it established either in the song or in the MV, especially if you compare it to Kazuki and Yui’s declarations or if you compare it to Sara’s feelings for Uru in Can’t An Idol Fall in Love. Fuuma’s romantic narrative here is trying to figure out how he feels for Yui, while for Kazuki and Yui they’ve established a rivalry because they both have mutually established they like Fuuma romantically.

If the MV isn’t enough for you and Suki isn’t enough for you for...some reason…??? You can check out the snippets of the light novel which the wonderful takanenene translated: one which revisits the conflict set up in Suki and one that covers the confession scene in the MV in more detail. If the fact that the conflict set up in Suki (aka the lurking feeling of not knowing if all he felt for Fuuma was only platonic or more than platonic) was specifically reestablished in the LN for anyone who didn’t keep up with Dolce Diary didn’t tip you off that it was something important, his behavior in the confession scene as depicted by the LN definitely should have. He’s possessive about his spot by Fuuma’s side. He doesn’t want that spot to be taken by anyone else. Even if he knows that they can help Fuuma, he wants it to be him. And this line: “Kazuki then trails off his words, quietly saying ‘That’s why…’ and then gave Yui a slightly painful smile, his cheeks turning red,” before he declares Yui a rival and states he likes Fuuma. If you can tell me you read that line and are still on the fence about Kazuki’s “like” towards Fuuma being romantic, please message me and I will see how I can get through to you. Like it wasn’t even just a romantically coded confession. It’s just a romantic confession. That “like” is romantic. And I’m so proud that he’s not only come to understand for himself how he feels, but that he’s confident enough to ask the person he sees as a romantic rival to speak in private and not only clarify her feelings for Fuuma but before she can even do that firmly establishes that he loves Fuuma with conviction. Kazuki my boy I’m so proud of you. *sniffs*

And that’s it for establishing Kazufuuma as at least canonically one-sidedly canon and why there’s not only no reason to deny it but also why denying it is a fucking disrespectful move towards Kazuki. He’s a character, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t write off his struggle to come to be convicted enough to say it out loud. This has been something weighing on him at least a year, if not more (all I know is it started when both he and Fuuma were in some year in middle school). And as a character in a piece of media, I’ve been saying this the entire time, but brushing it off as non-romantic is literally chucking a fucking pillar of his character’s story into the gutter. And to those who may be saying Kazuki’s confession came out of nowhere and is pandering reread this entire fucking essay again I dare you to do it and tell me to my face it’s pandering. Again. Writing off the buildup as pandering is disrespectful to him, disrespectful to his character and narrative, and disrespectful to the wonderful people who have been creating Dolce so diligently and have crafted this narrative for us. Saying his “supposed feelings” and “ambiguous confession” is pandering is like saying Fuuma’s crossdressing is pandering which. If you say either of those I will find you and I will shank you in the fucking gut. Even if you’re not fully into Dolce, recognize these characters are actually very well developed and executed amazingly, as per every Honeyworks character that has come to exist. I don’t blame you if you weren’t aware of the weight of Kazufuuma, but now that you read this I hope you are. That’s mainly what I needed to get out there, but as follows will be me more exploring how Kazufuuma has been built up and generally waving my hand off at where it may be going. If you want you can dip, thanks for reading up to here because I know I repeated a lot because it’s just. So important to drill into your head and has been something I’ve been hung up about constantly. LOL

As for where exactly they’re taking it from this point on, I honestly don’t know. In all honesty, I didn’t even expect them to take it the direction they did. But honestly, I think the direction they went with it is really interesting and better than I could have imagined, in my opinion at least. Honeyworks never ceases to amaze me with their storytelling and narrative choices, and I don’t think there’s any that stand out to me as being severely questionable that they haven’t reapproached at some point down the line. And, again, I think they’re treating this with a lot of care and deserved respect. So I’m just gonna be gushing about how smart they set it up and how smart they’ve been executing it and maybe my own hopes on the direction it could go.

Whether they make Kazufuuma reciprocated I have no real clue or bearings, but to me my gut reaction is they will. Of course, I’m biased, but again if you trace things all the way back to 2018 and step through Dolce’s content and growth from there, I’d say even if they didn’t know if they could execute it like this and see it to fruition, I’d argue that Kazufuuma has been at least heavily implied since the beginning as a relationship they wanted to explore from both sides of the relationship. Obviously I brought up Kazuki’s character bio already, but if you look at the *goes to count* 5th Dolce Diary update already has a joke jabbing at the fact that Kazuki is technically Fuuma’s type (and the way Kippei and Kazuki excitedly react is so cute). The fifth update. And as stated before there are tons of Kazufuuma moments in Dolce Diary, whether it’s played for comedic effect or played straight (and this is post Suki but oh my god I’ve said it before I’ll say it again get yourself someone who looks at you the way Kazuki looks at Fuuma oh my jesus). But song-wise, I mentioned the one Dolce album song I would bring up is Nade Nade and this is where it comes!

Not only is Nade Nade specifically focused on Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship as opposed to the whole of Dolce despite being the first song, it included the setup/preview of the Fuuma-centric extra prior to the full release of the Fuuma-centric extra itself and was released early as fuck. Literally between the 6th and 7th update to Dolce Diary. Sure, it could be to isolate them as a duo for marketing purposes (they’re very often the two promoted idols together if the whole of the group aren’t included), but the way it’s established as a perspective song as opposed to a general idol duet is what fascinates me. Anyone who didn’t know about Dolce prior and only followed Honeyworks for music would be first introduced to these characters through this song alone, and maybe this is where my Kazufuuma bias comes from but I was one of those people LOL. I thought it was just a cute one-off relationship that they had set up for the purpose of a song and that it was an implied friends-to-lovers story that would never get a conclusion. Also I mistakenly thought Fuuma was a girl oop-. In the full context of Dolce, this song in part helped establish Fuuma and Kazuki more solidly as a unique duo out of all of Dolce, but it also specifically explored through Fuuma’s eyes just how much Fuuma recognizes and appreciates the unwavering support Kazuki gives him to follow his dreams as he wishes. For Fuuma, he loves Kazuki too, though whether it holds any romantic potential in the same way Kazuki loves him has never been explored to nearly the same extent. But Fuuma appreciates how Kazuki’s remained by his side and does everything he can to support him, so Nade Nade explores how his way of expressing his love and thankfulness to Kazuki is by never saying that he needs Kazuki by his side. He’s glad Kazuki’s always been there for him, and his reciprocation takes on the form of being ready to unwaveringly support Kazuki and not ask for more than he already has, even if it meant Kazuki would be leaving his side, despite the fact that he really does wish they could remain together forever just as Kazuki does. The one point he lets himself say something vaguely close to always wanting to stay together, he gets a surprised expression out of Kazuki and says an ambiguous “suki dayo.” Of course, this it much less romantically coded than what we get from Kazuki in Suki and CAIFILWAI, but there is an interesting emphasis put on it nonetheless. Keep in mind, this is all established through the song, which released long before not only Fuuma’s character-centric extra released but also Kazuki’s character-centric extra released, so there is at least a substantial setup for Fuuma’s feelings towards Kazuki’s being strong as well and possibly grow to be reciprocated one day.

I think for me the most fascinating part about Nade Nade is how they tied it back around to Can’t An Idol Fall In Love with Another Idol. Again, without remembering Nade Nade, I still thought CAIFILWAI was brilliantly explored and executed, even if some people would have preferred no love triangle. But honestly, revisiting Nade Nade makes me trust even more the direction they’re taking with this. Whether or not they make Kazufuuma canon mutually (which. Even if they for some inexplicable reason didn’t I’m going down with this ship.), I’m sure they’re putting a lot of thought into the story, because the last bit of Nade Nade directly parallels the misunderstanding that arose from Fuuma mishearing the Kazuki and Yui. Fuuma is resolved to support Kazuki in any area he’s given the chance, and that explicitly includes if Kazuki had some girl he liked, which is what he assumes is going on. The fact that they tied this back around in the form of a misunderstanding was really really smart and Honeyworks is always so good at parallels and references back to their older songs, but for some reason I didn’t expect this. I don’t know how to say why, but the fact that the song that started it all, kicked off both Dolce and Kazufuuma, was directly referenced both visually in the MV with a cameo at the start and narratively despite the central dynamic being predominantly explored in this story in particular was that of Fuuma and another potential love interest and involves said potential love interest for some reason makes me think that (sorry Yui) this is all planned out for Kazufuuma in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I don’t know if me thinking it was planned all along is just me with shipper goggles, but the idea it’s come full circle nearly 3 years later is not shipper goggles and a very very well done parallel in my opinion, whether this trajectory was their plan for Kazufuuma from the beginning or not. Just wanted to gush about that some more.

There’s more I could go into especially if I went into specific details about interactions or specific implications established in Honeyworks' Dolce content about different characters that would be fascinating to explore in relation to and under the lens of Kazufuuma, but I think this is uh...plenty long enough. Plus, I doubt you'll stop seeing Kazufuuma posts from me so those ideas will probably just be miniposts or somethin.

Back to the overarching point of this segment, idk what they’ll do with this story in the end, but do I think Kazufuuma will canon? I’m used to looking at ships that aren’t explicitly apparent with a sliver of skepticism, but all things considered (as I stated before) yeah. I don’t see reason why they wouldn’t now that they’ve explicitly identified there is a romantic dimension to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like to me, the setup isn’t something that would be written off as unrequited? And this doesn’t have to play into why I don’t think it will canon, my personal opinion on the Fuuyui relationship (again albeit through the lens of a hard Kazufuuma shipper lmao) has it’s own merits and is really cute, I find it cute in the way I found Koyuhina cute. I personally never really shipped Koyuhina, and especially since they slipped Kotarou into Ima Suki Ni Naru I was more curious about who this kid was and how he played into things I didn’t really see Koyuhina as something that would come to fruition. Similarly, there’s more importance in the overall sense on Kazuki than there is Yui (considering he’s one of the 5 original and focal members of this generation of idols, this would be natural), as well as the fact there’s just way more foundation and exploration in Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship than there is Fuuma and Yui. As for how much of a balance there is inside the LN itself, the fact that they seem to have spent a substantial amount relaying the foundation of Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship and re-exploring it (at least in Kazuki’s perspective) at all on top of how much content there is covering their relationship prior to the LN ever since Dolce’s origin just feels like that relationship holds more weight. Pretty much Kazufuuma feels more established as a priority in general. The way I personally hope Fuuyui plays out is whether they wind up holding mutual feelings or not or whether Fuuma doesn’t feel that way towards Yui is they get a relationship akin to Kotarou and Arisa. Albeit, Kotarou and Arisa never viewed each other in a romantic light, but they had mutual respect and solidarity. That’s the type of friendship I hope comes out of Fuyui. And considering there hasn’t been a break-up in any Honeyworks’ canon relationships (nor do I expect there to be… they’re all perfect for each other LMAO) it would actually be interesting if Fuuyui get together but don’t endgame and Kazufuuma is established as the inseparable endgame after some realization or another, though I don’t expect them to go that route nor do I know if that’d be the best way to go about it anyway. Also final point, Honeyworks seems to have a thing for childhood friends trope anyway soooooo owo All in all, don’t know where they’re taking it, just excited to see where it goes.

TL;DR of this *counts* 7 page essay, stan Kazufuuma. Not gonna proof this. Maybe I’ll edit and repost but yall are getting a confusing clusterfuck of ramblings over 2-3 hr periods of me writing across 3 different days at around 5am each day. Uh. If you got this far like and subscribe and-- jk plz reply to this mammoth anywhere you see fit or tell me if you have stuffs to add or counter or whatnot I like hearing people talk about Kazufuuma ;w; I am Kazuki and Kazufuuma brainrot can you tell after reading this? No? Lemme just remind you I’m K--

#honeyworks #dolce #kazufuuma #kazuki haiga #fuuma shirayuki #long post #analysis #character analysis #kinda?#nobody cares trash #also keep in mind this is PURELY for self satisfaction LMFAO read it if u wanna dont if u dont idgaf either way #anyway kazufuuma canon fight me #or have intellectual conversation with me #if you want it on a google doc bc it's easier to read hmu #if you can't tell i think about kazufuuma too much #how much of this is repetitive? probably a lot...

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everything-laito · 3 years

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the FBI agent looking at my computer must be so incredibly concerned. Here’s Laito and Cordelia analysis, Part II

Hiya, Corn here! This is Part II of this analysis series! Part one’s here!

Not getting into the trauma part of it yet. Just explaining abusive power dynamics and how incestuous relationships work. As well as Stockholm syndrome. Lovely! Lovely combo! Fuck!!!

Same trigger warnings as last time still apply!

As always, rant under the cuuuuut!

Ok, from last time, we’ve established the elements that were set in place for Cordelia to do this to Laito, when Laito’s trauma began, and the possible fact that he was groomed as a child for sexual exploitation. Wow. Yay. Amazing. This is so gross!!! Thanks, I hate it!!!! I know I usually cary these topics with just an informational tone but I just can’t with this ;lskfjklsajf But I’m here typing this, you’re here reading this, so let’s just get on with the grossness!

Section 3: Legal Definitions of Incest and Power Dynamics

Now we’re gonna get into the flesh of the problem, and what we know happened. From last time, and common DL knowledge, Laito was coerced into having sex with Cordelia. I say coerced, rather than forced, because it’s not like Laito seemed to resist it. He seems to “willingly” give Cordelia that. Is dubious consent, consent? Oh fuck no, and dubious or coerced consent shouldn’t even count in here considering it’s straight up incest. Any type of incest, most especially between a parent and a child, is not considered consensual, even if it “technically is.” That’s how it’s handled in a court of law, at least in America (where I’m from and reside in), and I do agree with that morally as well. A “romantic” and sexual relationship between a parent (or adult family member; aunt, grandfather, etc) and a child (is just gross) preys upon the power dynamic between them. This isn’t any consensual BDSM power dynamic (obviously), or a constructive power dynamic in the workplace; it’s just a power dynamic already instilled into the relationship where it is taken advantage of. That’s not just fucked up incest, that’s an example of a toxic relationship from the get go. Also, there’s a power dynamic usually between a parent and child, but that doesn’t mean it’s always toxic. It just needs to be done responsibly, which good parents (or any adult in power) know how to maneuver around it and not take advantage of it for manipulation etc.

In healthy relationships, you both start on equal ground. It usually never works out if you don’t see the other as an equal, whether you have a predisposed power dynamic at the beginning or not. I’m talking any relationship; family relationships, friendships, romantic, sexual, etc. Although you older folks might know about BDSM and how there’s a “power dynamic” instilled in the relationship, a chosen and consensual “power dynamic” still involves both parties seeing the other one as an equal––intrinsically. It’s just very different than a predisposed power dynamic. That even goes with friendship too! Or any kind of healthy, nontoxic social interaction! Taken directly from Psychology Today, “Shared power creates happy individuals and satisfying interactions.” People need to be on equal ground in order to have a healthy relationship. Which,,,, we know does not happen with Cordelia and Laito (and Laito and Yui for that matter, but that’s during another part of this series). An article I saw during the research of this explains further about how power dynamics can be constructive. This focuses more on the workplace, but it applies to this because it’s looking at the other person as another person (an equal) but uses that predisposed power for encouragement, empowerment, and constructiveness (like a good parent or adult role model would do). I hope this makes sense!

Basically Cordelia is abusing her power in order to do all this to Laito. That’s why grooming would make a lot of sense in this as well, because we know it’s definitely not the first time Cordelia has taken advantage of a power imbalance to her own selfish benefit. That’s why incest isn’t really explained with the same science as pedophilia. I forget if I’ve mentioned it before, but one way pedophilia can occur in a person if their brain was originally biologically wired in a way that sees children as sexual objects. With incest, it could also work like that as well, but it is mainly power abuse, like most sexual exploitation, harassment, assault, etc is.

Section 4: Incest (I’d make a sweet home Alabama joke but that’s low hanging fruit)

Ok so now that we’ve gone over the legality of incest, and how power dynamics can be taken advantage of, we’re gonna look into the type of incest (yes apparently there are types) that Cordelia and Laito fits into. Also if this already wasn’t clear or anything, hi incest and pedophilia etc are forms of abuse, there is no justifying it at all. It’s abuse, no matter what’s said. I know these are fictional characters but I sometimes see Ayato x Cordelia and Laito x Cordelia etc posts and I kinda just wanna commit heinous crimes whenever I see that. Just the idea of that absolutely sickens me (on top of the abuse shown in DL already). Anyways, after all of that out of the way, let’s go into this.

Since Laito is biologically 17, I’d say that he’s considered as a child (teenager) by demon world standards. We don’t know his age when Cordelia first physically exploited him, but we do know that his same “teenage” sprite is used during the flashbacks. Since his trauma fits so well with the aftermath definition of parent/child incest, I’m just gonna give y’all information on that. This is also called “child incestuous abuse,” which is also a form of child sexual abuse.

I learned an interesting factoid researching this, and that is in Japan, the most commonly believed incestuous relationship was between mothers and sons. In the West, we think of fathers/daughters. In Japan, the media covers more on mother/son incestuous acts; while statistically, more father/daughter incestuous acts are taken place. Just something interesting(?) I found, and probably why DL chose that for storytelling too.

In this Wikipedia article, taken from a scientific paper (I’d take it directly from the source but you need an account to get in and I think you need to pay for it), it says this:

A study of victims of father–daughter incest in the 1970s showed that there were "common features" within families before the occurrence of incest: estrangement between the mother and the daughter, extreme paternal dominance, and reassignment of some of the mother's traditional major family responsibility to the daughter.

Sure, this talks about father/daughter incestuous relationships, but if we take this and reverse most of the roles, it shows Laito’s situation to a T:

Estrangement between Karlheinz and Laito

Extreme maternal dominance (aka Cordelia being very abusive/manipulative)

Reassignment of some of the parental responsibility to Laito (there’s many examples of “big bro Laito,” and Ayato and Kanato considers that they used Laito as a “sacrifice”––as a “shield” for the both of them. Sure this isn’t explicit parental responsibility shown through Laito but I’d say he acts more like a family member to Ayato and Kanato too)

Section 5: Stockholm syndrome? With parental figures?

Laito had some interesting situations occur during this whole thing with Cordelia. One of the most infamous scenes from the game (that’s also illustrated in the HDB manga) is a flashback Laito has where he’s locked up, forced to see Cordelia and Richter have sex. He’s appalled by the fact at first, but then attempts to convince himself that he’s into it. However, I won’t get into the effects until the next part.

I didn’t find much about Stockholm syndrome being in this specific case with incest and kidnapping a child etc. When you look up Stockholm syndrome related to parents you get quite the sexist “article” that definitely mocks the whole Stockholm syndrome thing and makes fun of guys being into Glee and such,,,, so that wasn’t a very helpful article. However, I’m just gonna mish mash and put a lot of concepts that we’ve learned together. But first, a look into Stockholm syndrome.

Stockholm syndrome occurs when an abuse victim develops empathy or even intimate feelings for their abuser or captor. This happens because any bit of kindness the abuser enacts towards their victim is taken so positively, that the victim “forgets” all the negative actions, and focuses on the positive ones. This isn’t some sort of “oh ya gotta think positive!” kind of thing, it’s how abusers get away with their bullshit and how someone can be so trapped in a relationship with them. It’s also called traumatic bonding or victim brainwashing (source). This doesn’t always happen with people who are held hostage, like in Stockholm syndrome’s name origin.

A parent’s influence can be a strong one. Doesn’t even have to be related to by blood. But a figure that is supposed to be nurturing—whether they are or not—still has power over the “child.” He definitely went through Stockholm Syndrome himself with Cordelia, considering the grooming and the “love”/hate relationship he has with Cordelia. I did some more digging, and apparently Stockholm Syndrome can still occur more commonly with sexually abused victims. Which we all know he is. With the possible grooming, on top of the power abuse and sexual abuse, creates an incredibly toxic concoction. Here we go. The (rotten) cherry on top. Directly from my HDB notes, here’s a snippet from his Maniac Prologue:

Cordelia: Nnn…Hey, Laito. You are a good boy. Laito: …!! Cordelia: Right, Laito? Laito: Yeah, that’s right. I’m…I’m a good boy after all. ーー Besides, I’m the type of person who only get more aroused from this kind of thing.

(from my notes:) Basically Laito convinces himself to be a “cuckhold.” It’s definitely implied how he just wants approval from Cordelia; this is how this abuse prolongs.

(Also, if I ever said that Laito was locked up by Cordelia, my bad; it was Karlheinz who gave that order. I’m unsure where I ever said this, but I feel like I said it before, so I’m gonna clarify that right now too, oops! My memory hath failed me.)

Cordelia’s praise effects Laito in such a visceral way that he tries so hard to cope with the trauma in her favor. It’s incredibly messed up. But that’s the defining factor in this. From this, I do believe Laito has Stockholm syndrome on top of all of his issues.

I think I’m gonna end it here for now. Didn’t expect to be this long, oops. Stay tuned for next time, where I’m gonna go over Laito’s trauma and how he’s been effected by it. Thanks for reading, FBI agent! And oh, you as well, dear reader!

If you’ve read this far holy fuck I commend you -Corn

#analysis #Laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #raito sakamaki #sakamaki raito #Cordelia sakamaki #sakamaki cordelia #diabolik lovers #dialovers #dialover #dl #corn pops off once again

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smulders-cobie · 4 years

Text

WHAT IS HAPPENING IN TURKEY AND THE BLACK AND WHITE PHOTO CHALLENGE

So you may have seen the “Black and White photo challenge” circulating around social media, but do you actually know what it’s in aid for? What the meaning behind it is? Well, this handy post is here to tell you. Here I will add as much information and add some links to infographics, petitions and donation sites. This post has heavy content, so multiple trigger warnings are in place. Graphic description of violence and abuse is throughout this post and on ALL infographics linked.

What is happening in Turkey?

328 women were killed in Turkey in 2019. In June 2020 alone 50 women were killed, and then on the 16th July this year a young uninversity student called Pinar Gültekin went missing. She was last seen waiting for a bus in Mugla Province. A few days later her body was unfortunately found, she was beaten, strangled and buried in a barrel. Her killer was known to her, and has been taken into custody, largely due to social media coverage. When these killings are reported, many of them are either hidden, written off or the men involved are either released shortly after or if taken seriously, they get very short prison sentences. This happens to ALL women, the women who do and don’t cover their hair, old and young women, single, queer and trans women and women of all communities whether that be Kurdish, Armenian, Arab, Assyrian women etc. The victims are often blamed with rumours circulating accusing the victim of being impure, disloyal or deserving of the killing. (info credit, info credit, please click for more detailed infographics)

Now the Turkish government are moving to REMOVE the Istanbul Convention, which is taking away what little protection women in Turkey have, so this attack on the Convention is an attack on women’s rights. What is the Istanbul Convention you ask? Well, it was created to protect women against all kinds of violence and to prevent, prosecute and eliminate violence against women as well as domestic violence. The Convention also prohibits discrimination against women. If Turkey were to withdraw from this Convention, the results will be catastrophic as this is a country where domestic violence and gender violence is constantly increasing. (42% of Turkish women aged between 15–60 had suffered some physical or sexual violence by their husbands or partners.) (info credit, please click for a more detailed infographic)

How can I find out more information?

Turkish media is mostly government controlled, so half of this information is mostly available on social media, even though some of the world’s media is starting to pick it up. I’ve found quite a few instagram accounts helpful as this is the best place to pick up the information.

auturkishculturalclub: This account is the main account that I have found information from. It is run by American-Turkish university students and has been a solid start point for anybody who wants to read up on this matter. Please check the first two story highlights on their profile as this has plenty of info.

minaonthemoon: This account has an amazing infographic on what is happening and also explains the Istanbul Convention too. They update their stories with info too, so please consider giving this account a look over.

shafakelif: Elif Shafak is one of Turkey’s most known and popular authors and she also has created a two slide infographic on what is happening in more detail with some facts and statistics (which I have included above).

How can I help?

First of all you can help by simply reblogging this post, that way the word will get out as to what is happening.

You can also share the infographics above through other social media. Post on your Instagram stories, retweet tweets on Twitter, speak to your friends, family, just speak out in general!

If you would like to participate in the Black and White challenge please do! But don’t forget to use the hashtags #istanbulconvention, #istanbulsözleşmesiyaşatır, #kadinasiddetehayir, #challengeaccepted and #womenempowerment

If you do take part in the challenge please also include a bit of background info so the movement doesn’t lose it’s message.

Please consider signing and sharing THIS PETITION, as well as THIS PETITION. It takes two minutes and it genuinely is a massive help.

If you are so able, please consider DONATING to this Turkish Women’s shelter foundation. If you are unable to donate, simply SHARING this link will help also.

As time goes on I will update this post with other information I have/find, links to other petitions and donation places etc. In the mean time, please dont hesititate to reblog this post, add to this post if you come across any other information from TRUSTWORTHY sources, and share as much as you can so that we can respect all of the women that are being abused and killed in Turkey and give them and their families peace at last.

#turkey #femicide #what is happening in turkey #domestic violence #turkiye #long post #signal boost

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misc-headcanons · 3 years

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Hi! Can I please request a yandere headcanons of X Drake, Killer, and Hawkins?? Thank you very much! Love lots to your blog!!

(TW: Yandere)

X-Drake

He's the kind of yandere that watches his object of obsession from afar, keeping them safe from any danger that could possibly come to them. They probably only ever met once, maybe twice, but he just couldn't get them out of his head after that. They're too caring, too compassionate for a world full of conflict and betrayal. They're too precious to just leave alone.

Things would get complicated when he's needing to move on to another island as part of his work, and the thought of leaving ____ alone and unprotected physically pains him. So he uses his connections with various factions (Marines, Kaido, etc.) to spirit them away. If they're in WG-occupied territory, he manages to get them put into a form of "witness protection"--and no, it's never explained what they witnessed that warranted this. If they're in Wano, he uses his authority as a Headliner to let them know they've been selected for an important role within Kaido's crew (that is, X-Drake's significant other).

Even if they don't love him back or even say they hate him, he isn't angry. He's hurt, but he doesn't want to force them to love him; all he wants is to keep them safe from the world, and he's going to keep them safe whether or not they appreciate it/him.

He's too shy to be physically affectionate or initiate anything like cuddling, and he'd probably turn red or pass out as if he saw them nude. The best way to lower his guard is to give him that affection and use that opportunity to either try to escape, or by bargaining your way to getting more privileges like going outside--just make sure to ask him while squeezing his hand or smth while giving him some puppy eyes.

He feels guilty whenever he scares them, especially if they see him go into his Zoan form while fighting someone. He doesn't want them to be afraid of him; he's trying to protect them, so he's the one person that should NEVER make them feel that way. Whenever it happens, he'll actually give them some space and alone time (in his locked bedroom, or with some of his men outside whatever room they're in) until they're not as shaken up and scared of him.

Killer

A self-loathing/self-aware yandere. He knows he's obsessed, and he hates that he'd want to make someone be close to him. His nakama are close, but this is different. He wants to hold his obsession close and be loved romantically, you know? He thinks he's too repulsive to think of wanting that, but he just can't stop himself from having those desires.

He would have fallen for them when they met, when they were so kind and compassionate towards a stranger like him--and a pirate, no less. He's not used to receiving that kind of compassion, and once he gets a small bit he winds up addicted to it. He can't stop wondering what it'd be like to feel their gentle hand on his arm again, or seeing them without his mask and looking up at him so sweetly--no, that's not going to happen, stop thinking about it dammit.

Eventually he'd give in to those thoughts and just take them. Kid his crew typically trash whatever island they visit, so in the chaos of that he'd just sling them over his shoulder and take them to the Victoria Punk. He'd be apologizing to them quietly, even though he knows the sounds of fighting, screaming, and gunshots covers up what he's saying to them.

Kid's kind of annoyed that Killer grabbed an extra mouth to feed, since they usually all just bring back weapons and anything that'd sell for a lot of money. But Killer doesn't seem to want to sell this random person, just sorta...keep them? Kid shrugs and says Killer's responsible for them, and he thinks of ____ as basically Killer's pet or something.

Killer understands if ____ doesn't love him back, but he really tries to keep them as happy as he can given the whole "kidnapping" situation. He apologizes and does his best to treat them like royalty when he's around, but he doesn't ever let them leave his room unless he's with them or someone in the crew is watching them. He cooks anything they want to eat and the most physical thing he does is hold them when he goes to sleep at night. They're one of the only people he'll take his mask off in front of, and he can't help but smile (even if it's ugly to him) whenever he holds them at night and they don't try to squirm away.

Hawkins

Easily THE scariest yandere of the three. He'll know when you're planning to escape based on probability and in general he's just always able to stay one step ahead of you. He isn't scary because of the things he does; he doesn't yell at or threaten his obsession or anything, and he actually doesn't even like killing/hurting enemies in front of them. But he's a master of manipulation and he's able to coldly calculate his obsession's every move.

He doesn't even know how it happened, and that just makes his obsession grow further. ____ was a completely unpredicted player and he had no idea why his thoughts kept drifting to them after only seeing them in passing. Why was he thinking about them so much? He couldn't calculate an answer, and he decided to "observe" them for a while. Eventually he wasn't satisfied with that and decided that maybe he could find out why he was so infatuated with them by having them closer to him. And so, ____ gets promptly snatched up by him and his crew.

There's a lot of planning involved when it comes to Hawkins and his obsession. Prior to their kidnapping, he makes sure to steal enough clothes in their size that he thinks they'd like to have on the ship; he'd also have his crew take any personal/sentimental items with them from their home (that he learned about from his "observations). He'd also sit them down in his quarters after the kidnapping and calmly explain why he took them, and he'd even apologize for it. It's just something he needs to do in order to learn about why a statistical anomaly like them managed to infatuate him.

He's the least physically affectionate of the three, and there are times where he seems so cold and distant that he doesn't even care about them or love them. He does (in his own mind, anyway), it's just that he isn't a naturally "cuddly" person.

The most PDA ____ would get daily is whenever he takes their hand or links arms with them as he "escorts" them. He does enjoy brushing/playing with their hair in the evenings and mornings, though. It's relaxing to him, and when they're alone together he's much more likely to smile. He even kisses their forehead or cheek goodnight after they've gotten "accustomed" to their life as his prisoner companion.

#one piece #x-drake #killer #hawkins #diez drake #massacre soldier killer #basil hawkins #one piece headcanon #one piece headcanons #mine #tw: yandere

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argumentl · 3 years

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The Freedom of Expression, radio version - Ep 24, March 2016 - 5th Anniversary of 3/11, Human canvass artwork, Kyo hayfever, Actress childless by choice, Celeb Instagram spat.

Kaoru starts this episode by commenting that that it was the 5th anniversary of the 2011 March 11th earthquake and tsunami. Joe says that as well as visiting the destroyed nuclear reactor, he also spent time in Fukushima. He says that 5 years is a turning point for residents, because this is the point at which government financial grants run out. After this, the residents must support themselves. Having spoken to the locals, Joe says that even if support were to continue, it may not be efficient. The more time passes, the more difficult it gets to know if the support is getting to where it is really required. Locals have compained about the number of volunteers, for example. They don't need that many now. Additionally, there are many people in the area, especially the elderly, who really do need help, but who tend to shoulder their load alone, rather than reach out. For example, people who require help with transportation to hospitals etc. These people are not asking for money, which makes it difficult to know how to help. Kaoru stresses that no matter how many years pass, this disaster must never be forgotten.

Kaoru's topic of interest this time is the British artist Eliza Bennett and her work 'A Woman's Work is Never Done'. In this work Bennett used her own palm as a canvass to stitch in coloured thread, and it has recieved a lot of attention, some quite harsh. Joe asks Kaoru what he thinks about this. Kaoru says he's not entirely sure, but it seems like it wouldn't be possible without some kind of painful trigger, and she may have let it go too far. It looks almost like a highly-evolved prank. But at the same time, he's pretty impressed by it. The thought of sewing thread into your own hand is pretty shocking to him. He says that because of what he's done to his own body (tattoos), he is in no place to tell others what to do with theirs, but still, this makes him uneasy.

Next they are joined by Dobashi for the Tokyo Sports corner. Dobashi asks them both how they are managing with hayfever. Joe says he is fine. Kaoru says he usually suffers a bit just at the start of hayfever season, but after that he is ok. Dobashi says he has been trying out pollen desensitization therapy, and is nervous to see if it will actually work during Spring. Kaoru says that Kyo has tried the same thing. Having hayfever during lives is pretty annoying for him. Dobashi asks whether Kyo ever sneezes during lives. Kaoru doesn't think he does, but then again, maybe he does when he turns his back to the audience.

Dobashi's first news story is that the actress Yamaguchi Tomoko had done an interview for the womans' magazine 'Frau' in which she stated very clearly that she never wants to become a mother. Many of the magazine's readers agreed with her, making this a big talking point in the media. Dobashi says from one perspective anyone is free do as they please, and there is nothing really wrong with this decision, but on the other hand, Japan is facing a population crisis. Who will support the elderly in years to come? Should it be a responsibility to have children? Kaoru states also very clearly that this should totally be up to the individual to decide freely. He asks if anything happened to Yamaguchi in her childhood to influence her outlook. Dobashi says, her parents divorced when she was 6, her little sister was raised by her mother, and she was raised by her father. So she probably does not put much faith in the idea of a conventional family. She probably doesn't feel the need to have children, and feels happy without them. Kaoru agrees with this. Joe says that people have a right to be happy without being classed as a statistic in the declining population. People should not face this issue with indifference - it does need serious thought, but at the same time lifestyle choices should be respected. Kaoru then brings up the problem of the aging population, specifically recent news of over-stressed care workers abusing residents in care homes. What are they doing there? They knew what the job would involve. He feels quite strongly about this, but stops himself before he gets carried away with it.

Dobashi's next story is that the singer Oshio Manabu (formally convicted and imprisioned for drugs offenses) had posted a photo on Instagram of himself with his arms round the shoulder of soccer player Kashiwagi Yosuke. Kashiwagi had subsequently spoken out to the effect that, 'He's not my friend, I barely know him'. Oshio had then tweeted 'You liar!', or words to that effect. Dobashi says Kashiwagi is probably under pressure from the soccer association to distance himself from such dubious individuals if he wants to gain a more prominent image in Japanese soccer. Kaoru thinks this is pretty interesting, and wonders whether these guys are actually friends. No one seems to really know, but they look pretty chummy on the photo. They probably weren't the closest of pals though. Kaoru thinks they should have been more straightforward with each other if that was the case. Dobashi says he once caught up with Oshio in Narita Airport, while Oshio was on his was to Hawaii. At the time, he was dating actress Yada Akiko, but his management didn't approve of the relationship, which meant he could be fired if he persisted with it. Dobashi interrogated him about whether he was going to choose 'love' or 'Liv' (the name of his band). Oshio apparently laughed loudly at this. Kaoru thinks Oshio seems like an interesting guy, although he has never met him. He thinks sponsers are probably behind the pressure being put on Kashiwagi to deny association with Oshio. He says it looks kinda cute, seeing Oshio trying to up his image by posing with a J-league player.

To finish, Kaoru reads out some messages from listeners stating that despite many other fans saying they want some solo material from Kaoru, they do not want him to start a solo project, they think he is just fine in Dir en grey. Kaoru says he hasn't even announced any solo plans! But when he sees so many message with such strong feelings towards Dir en grey, he feels happy. Dir en grey is too busy, and song writing takes up enough of his time anyway.

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression

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eroticcannibal · 3 years

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Common myths and misconceptions about home education

So in case anyone has somehow missed it, I have recently become a Big supporter of home education in a very lefty way, which has meant I have had to challenge a lot of views I have previously held about home education and that I know a lot of other lefties hold too. I am of the opinion that embracing home education, not as a last resort, but as the primary form of education for as many children as possible, is a vital part of achieving the required shifts in society needed to meet the goals of most leftists. So I am taking it on myself to convince you all that it is a very good thing, and also to clear up some misconceptions people have about home education that may make them feel they are unable to do it.

(A note, I am from the UK and shall be using UK terminology and specifics regarding law, policy and other such things will be from a UK perspective. I shall be using the term home education, as that is the legal term in the UK and is distinct from home schooling, which is the term for what school children have been doing during the pandemic.)

And I would also like to extend a quick thanks to Education Otherwise and the mods at Home education and your local authority for teaching me A LOT.

Have any questions about anything I’ve not covered here? Just let me know!

1. “Home education is illegal.”

- Sadly, home education is illegal or restricted to the point of inaccessibility in most of the world. From the research I have done, it seems that only the US and the UK have reasonable laws around home education (if I am using a very broad definition of reasonable, it is still not great). I do hope I can change this section soon, and I would *heavily* encourage people to campaign for the right to home educate post pandemic, perhaps cite any benefits learning at home has provided to children, perhaps???

2. “Home education is a tool used by religious fundamentalists to brainwash children!”

- This is a view many hold, and for good reason. For many of us, when we think of home education, we think of christian fundamentalists in the deep south of America, pulling their children out of school to avoid the liberal agenda. The truth is, anything can be used as a tool of indoctrination. This can happen in home education, and it can happen and has happened in schools too. In my own communities we have had instances of schools being a site of religious radicalization of children. The reality is this is far too complex and deep an issue to be solved by deeming any particular form of education as “bad”. I am not an expert on how best to deal with such issues, but I do feel that things like outreach and building a healthy community with otherwise more isolated religious groups would be a better way to address these issues.

3. “You need to have x qualification to home educate.”

- Again, a reasonable view to hold, given that state run and private education does require educators to hold certain qualifications, but in practice it quickly becomes evident the same does not necessarily have to apply with home education. Educational qualifications are very much focused on delivering an education in a classroom, which is a far cry from home education. During our home education of our child, my partner, who is a qualified SEN TA, has struggled far more than I have with educating our SEN child, despite the fact I hold no qualifications.

We live in amazing times when it comes to education. There are many things that parents and communities have to teach a child, and there are many things a child can teach to themself if given the tools to do so. You can even learn together! Their are endless resources available, books and games and documentaries, and even home education groups and private tutors if you feel that is the right fit for your child. You don’t need a piece of paper for your child to spend a day with their nose buried in a book, or to help the neighbor with his vegetable patch, or to cuddle up on the sofa while watching Planet Earth.

4. “You are required to follow the national curriculum.”

- This does vary by country (that allows home education). As a general rule, the stricter a country is about who can home educate, the stricter they are about what must be taught. In the UK, you are not required to follow the national curriculum. Education must be “efficient” and suited to the child’s “age, aptitude and ability”, and LAs do require that english and maths are covered. Other than that, you are allowed to tailor the content of education to the child and their interests. We have recently dropped geography for now and are only just picking up history again. It has also given us the freedom to focus on areas our child needs that would not be covered in mainstream education, such as anxiety management, trauma processing, self care and hygiene.

5. “Home education looks like school/is just filling out workbooks/etc”

- The thing you will always hear from experienced home educators when you begin home education is “home education doesn’t need to be school at home”. Much like you can tailor the content of the learning to the child, you can also tailor the delivery to the child. Some child need structure, timetable, instructions. Some need freedom and to bounce between topics. Some need to have an hour learning maths and only maths, some need to go dig up your garden “for science”. Some want to learn every day, some will need extended breaks.

Learning happens all the time, from the moment they wake to the moment they sleep. As an example, at home we have some workbooks, as both me and my child have ADHD and need someone to go “ok learn this” rather than us having to work out for ourselves what we need to cover for core subjects like english and maths. For the rest of most days my child is left to their own devices to binge youtube and netflix and work on their art. We try and go for a woodland walk every few days, where we have Deep Discussions about all kinds of topics, and we are also working on growing edible plants and baking cakes from around the world. We are more hands-off at the moment, due to the current bout of anxiety, but when that settles again we will get back to history themed crafts and STEM activities. Post-pandemic, we will be signing our kid up for swimming classes and “after school” clubs, and looking at sending them down to my mum for the home ed groups where she lives, like the forest school. A lot of home education outside of a pandemic is in groups and community based, or will make use of libraries and museums and other public learning opportunities. Frequently very little will happen at home.

In fact many home educators will advise new families to “deschool” for a while before jumping in to learning. This is a period where you “get school out of your system”, and just exist. Learning does not have to be intentional, you will be surprised how much you can achieve by just having fun.

6. “Home education is expensive.”

- It can be, ask my bank account. However, it is perfectly possible to deliver a quality education with little to no money. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s doable. Their are many online resources for free (check out oak academy), and libraries have plenty available too. Even paid resources can be very cheap if you know where to look. (psst, if your kid thrives with worksheets and powerpoints, get yourself a twinkl subscription, download everything you need for a year then cancel it.)

(This does not apply to exams. Get saving!)

7. “Home educated children are not properly socialised.”

- This is only really true during the pandemic. The rest of the time, home educated children are free to socialise whenever they want, with whoever they want, in whatever setting they choose. Socialisation while home educating is in the opinions of many of a higher quality, as they are not limited to groups of a similar age and background. Many home educating families form groups for their children to socialise together too. For ND children especially, socialising while home educated can be far less stressful and far more fulfilling than in school.

8. “Home educated children won’t get qualifications.”

- Just plain not true. Arranging qualifications can be costly and time consuming, but it is possible and regularly done. Some children may return to school or college to access exams for free, and I have heard of a handful of cases where individuals were able to secure prestigious university places without any qualifications. Home education also allows for more freedom with how exams and qualifications are approached, for example, many home educated children will pick one GCSE to focus on at a time, rather than covering numerous topics over 2 years and having exams for all of them at once like children in school will.

9. “Home education is a safeguarding risk/is used to cover up abuse/home educated children are not seen.”

- In the UK at least, home education is not considered a safeguarding risk, no matter what authorities may tell you, nor are home educated “not seen”. They still visit medical professionals, they still engage with their communities.

Now I shall add the relevant paper here should I find it again, but the idea that home education is used to cover up abuse to a statistically significant degree, or that home educated children are at more risk of abuse, is false. Home educating families do face a significantly higher risk of social services involvement than other families, but far less abuse is found in comparison to other families. It is also worth considering, when talking about social services involvement, that many families pursue home education due to failures by schools regarding a child’s vulnerabilities. In most cases, especially the Big Ones, where a home educated child is abused, the child was already known to authorities as a victim of abuse, therefore home educating did nothing to hide said abuse.

Children are also routinely abused in schools, which is another common reason for home educating.

10. “Home education has to be monitored or approved.”

- Depends on the country, I know in Japan home education is monitored by schools, however in the UK, monitoring is not lawful. Local authorities may make informal enquiries to ensure a suitable education is being facilitated (keep EVERYTHING in writing and please go straight to “home education and your local authority” group on FB for advice, you WILL need it!). In England, if your child is in mainstream education, you can deregister at will, from a special school will require LA approval. In Scotland deregistering requires LA approval. (Again, head to the aforementioned group for advice).

11. “You can’t work/get an education while home educating”

- It is hard to balance work, education and educating your child, but it is possible, people do it every day. Obviously, having at least one parent free to educate unhindered at all times is an ideal situation, but in the real world it often does not work that way. Parents may have to home educate regardless of their other commitments if a child truly needs to escape the school system. Many parents work or learn from home, and sometimes it is even possible to combine these activities with home education. Professional artists and crafters can pass down their skills while working, distance learners can invite their children to sit in on lectures. The really great thing about home education is it is flexible. Do you have a whole day of meetings? Let the kid play minecraft all day! Going to be in the office all day? Drop the kid off at the local forest school or something else they can do all day. Drop them with the grandparents to help with the gardening!

12. “Home educated are behind/achieve less than school children.”

- Their is no evidence that home education is of a lower quality than school education. Many children are home educated specifically because the school environment was detrimental to their education, and thrive with home education. Plenty of children are able to learn more simply by having 1-to-1 attention, without the distraction of an entire class. And others may well be “behind”, and are educated at home because of their specific needs that mean they will never thrive in an academic setting, so they are allowed to focus on learning skills that will allow them to live independently.

#word of god #home education

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ask-a-vetblr · 3 years

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Hihi! Can you tell us a little bit about veterinary stuff and working as a vet / how hard was it to get into vet school and what was it like? Thank you! (I'm thinking of being a vet and I've read about it online and the grades needed are awfully high and it seems like it's not for everyone)

Hello there! I was wondering if veterinary medicine would be a good career for me? What are the difficulties of "vet school"? I've read more than a couple of horror stories on the internet about people getting ludicrously good scores but still not making it? How true is that? Overall opinions?? Any comments about the financial aspect? Thank you!

vet-and-wild here.

In terms of getting into vet school, it honestly sucks. Most schools about 1000 applicants and 100 spots. They also tend to let in more in state than out of state students (although it depends on the school), so your chances of getting in are statistically pretty darn low. Every single person applying has good grades. Some people get in because they have exceptional grades, but schools are getting away from that trend because it turns out a lot of people that are booksmart aren’t necessarily great with people, and working with people is a huge part of this profession. My grades were below average, but I had thousands of hours of unique animal experience, so you certainly can get in without being a 4.0 student, but it takes work. When people want tips for applying, the best thing I can recommend is to diversify your application. The vast majority of students applying have high GPAs and a ton of small animal experience. What makes you different? Work with farm animals, wildlife, research, etc. My hours weren’t necessarily even veterinary related (about 200-250, which is quite below average), but I worked on a farm and did study abroads and did unique behavior/enrichment work with captive wildlife. Your interview also is a factor.

Vet school also sucks. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. There will be semesters when you have over 30 credits and professors will expect you to prioritize their class and how dare you not remember this one tiny detail from year 1. You will be challenged in ways you never imagined. There is an insane amount of information to learn, plus you need to be involved in extracurricular activities to make your resume look good. Not to mention the cost is insane. Average vet students graduate with at least $250,000 (US) in debt. I had people straight up tell me I was stupid for choosing an out of state school over my in state, but I’m really happy that I did. I don’t think I would have done well at my in state school. The finances are terrifying, but I just remind myself that thousands of people before me have done it. I worked with a financial advisor and came up with a 20 year plan, which still sucks but it’s more reasonable than I expected. Honestly, it’s the interest that is the worst. If I think too much about it I get pissed off, because it’s literally robbing students. You cannot work enough hours while in vet school to make loan payments. It’s impossible. Vet school is full time job, and then some. I earned enough interest in just 4 years of vet school to get another bachelor’s degree, and I think that’s criminal, because it was literally impossible for me to make payments and go to school.

#vet school #vet med

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honeybeeadventures · 3 years

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ALICE IN BORDERLAND || a honeybeeadventures review

FULL DISCLOSURE: This review may be a little bit biased and that's gonna have to be okay this time because boy, do I LOVE this show.

If you're a fan of foreign tv shows and you haven't heard of Alice in Wonderland by now, then you may be living under a rock. This show, which premiered during the holiday season of the treacherous year known as 2020, is Netflix's most popular live-action adaptation to date. Yes, that's right, adaptation. That is because Alice in Borderland is based on the manga of the same name written and illustrated by Haro Aso.

This time, I will try to hold back all of my spoilers since this show is full of twists and turns and honestly, deserves a blank first impression going into it. I want to make sure that everyone who watches this show because of my review gets to experience it fully without my recapping the events haha. I will try to summarize without ruining anything, though.

Alice In Borderland is a Netflix Japan Original Adaptation of the manga that bears its namesake by Haro Aso which originally ran from April 2011 to April 2016. The show premiered on Netflix on December 10, 2020, and just 14 days later, a second season was confirmed by Netflix.

The show follows Arisu Ryohei and his friends after they witness fireworks in the middle of the day and are dropped into another world where most of the people in Shibuya are gone and the only way to survive is to risk their lives playing games that extend their visas and their right to live in that world. Every game is treacherous and usually ends with a loss of life, though some games do have finite solutions that can save players and preserve their well-being. Along the way, Arisu ( a name which is the Japanese way of pronouncing Alice, by the way ) meets a cast of characters that will seem fairly familiar to you if you've ever seen, read, or really have ever even heard of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol or any of its adaptations.

I typically talk about diversity when I review shows, however, as this is a Japanese show, it's not really fair or easy to judge them on that metric because of course, everyone in the show is Japanese ( as they should be since the manga is set in Tokyo ). However, I will say that in the show, there is a character who says that everyone is free to sleep with whoever they want, no matter what gender and there is also a character that is a part of the Alphabet Mafia ( LGBTQIA+ ... I should make a glossary for this blog lol ). While only one ( confirmed ) members of the Alphabet Mafia isn't a lot, it is based on a manga, and considering the manga is written/illustrated by a Japanese man who was in his 30s at the time, I'm gonna chalk that up as the progressiveness of Haro Aso while still wanting to keep his audience.

Now, down to what you really came here for. I'll list the scores below before we get into why I gave them these scores.

Originality of Content: 8/10

Production Quality: 9/10

Resolution: 6/10

Acting/Cast Members: 10/10

Ability to Keep Interest: 10/10

Provocation: 8/10

Obviously, this show did really well by my standards, and here's the breakdown so you can see why.

Originality of Content: 8/10

If we're being honest here, Alice in Borderland definitely isn't the first manga/anime based on the premise of playing a game to survive or get somewhere in the world ( see: Kakegurui, No Game: No Life, .hack//, Gamble Fish, etc. or Rengoku Dead Role which is actually...very similar to AIB ). However, despite this, it still feels like there's some strong originality brought to this concept. Combining the Japanese love for games and a classical western story gives Alice In Borderland just what it needs to easily become a fan favorite. As someone who really favors game-based anime and manga ( because I really favor game design ), I think that the way that Alice In Borderland is a refreshing nod to the genre.

There's a couple of reasons for this but I'll boil it down to just two. The first is that it's not predictable. The issue with a lot of the game-based animes that I'm familiar with is that they are fairly predictable since most games work the same way, but with Alice In Borderland that is different. The rules to each game that is played seem so simple that they seem deceptive but they also seem complex in the way that a riddle is simple yet complex. Every answer that first comes to your mind is probably going to be wrong and you need to think about it more deeply than that. Sometimes, when the rules of the game were being explained, I found myself wanting to pause to see if I could figure out the solution of the game, too, as I watched Arisu think of it, as well.

The second reason is that Alice In Borderland keeps things fresh with its cast of characters. Rather than some characters being evil because that's 'just the way they are', Alice In Borderland really speaks to the effect of the pressure that is put on young people to succeed and how that can end up in them being more mentally lost than they were, to begin with. It also highlights struggles with gender identity, self-worth, complex family relationships, and living up to one's potential. It does this in such a way that even when a character is downright evil, such as Niragi ( IYKYK), there is almost a feeling of pity for them. This isn't because you sympathize with their actions but more so because it isn't difficult to see how the pressure of life turned them into this monster that you are now watching there. I also enjoyed the fact that there wasn't as much dramatic irony in this show as in many others. While dramatic irony is never a necessarily bad thing, it was nice to genuinely be surprised when a character did something instead of knowing that someone was plotting behind someone else's back.

Production Quality: 9/10

This is a statistic that comes with an asterisk of context and that context is that before this, I had been watching Uchu Sentai Kyuranger and if you know what the production quality of that is like then you understand how it may have influenced this show's score a bit. Even without the comparison fallacy of the two, though, AIB scores high in production quality for one reason more than any other to me. For a show with a lot of blood and death, I wasn't unwilling to believe that these people had actually died. Yes, I'm sure that no actors were harmed in the making of this series, however, if I was a little more naive, I might've doubted that a bit. After all, Live Action adaptations are definitely not known for their believability. I will give AIB the benefit of the doubt in saying that this concept wasn't that difficult to pull off since most of the injuries were similar to what you'd expect on your typical action movie set ( compared to...you know...something involving sci-fi or fantasy) but even in the scenes where people get their necks blown off by explosive collars, it looked like they were nearly decapitated...the way that you would expect if someone's neck was blown off by an explosive collar. All in all, if you want to believe it, you will. It's definitely not a hard stretch.

Resolution: 6/10

Okay, okay, so if you've read the manga or have even glanced at the r/AliceInBorderlandLive subreddit then you know this is kind of an unfair score since...well, they're not done. There's more to the story and the eight episodes that we've seen thus far are only about a third of what AIB has to offer since the manga has two sequels, one of which will be finished on Feb. 18 of this year. However, I will see that statement and raise it with "What if it hadn't been such a great success?" I'm all for ending on cliffhangers to force the network or in this case, Netflix to continue your show but since the first season of AIB covers so much of the storyline, it almost feels wrong to end it short the way that it did. I did like how they had the big reveal of the villain at the end and the way they showed what was coming next but it did feel a little anti-climactic when I realized I was on the last episode since it seemed more like a mid-season break type end instead of a season finale. Since there is a sequel to AIB, I wasn't feeling too discouraged but it's definitely something to think about when watching. If you don't plan on reading the manga, you might be left content starving and questioning until sometime near the end of 2021.

Acting/Cast Members: 10/10

If I was just scoring this show on acting, then it would've gotten an all-kill because each and every single actor in this show from the side characters like Nijiro Murakami and Dori Sakurada to Kento Yamazaki who plays Arisu himself is beyond talented and amazing. It is important to remember that all of the characters in this show had a life before they were transported to the Borderland and in this twisted world, something about the changes that make them different than before so in a way, these actors are responsible for not only playing the characters but also the characters past selves before this growth period in which they change into something either completely opposite or completely different than who they were before.

Somehow, this cast manages to take characters that are already so established ( in the manga ) and become them to the point that looking at them within the role and looking at them outside of the role, it almost seems as if they are really two completely different people. As I said before, some of the characters in Alice In Borderland have a correlation to characters from Alice in Wonderland and have their own unique backgrounds on top of that. This gives to the depth of the characters and makes them dynamic but on top of that, it makes them complex, and yet, these actors seem to have the act of embodying these characters down so well that it astonishes me to see them in other roles and know that it's the same person.

I'll be breaking down my three favorite performances to give you a bit of insight on the reason why this show's cast is well-worth looking into.

Dori Sakurada as Niragi Suguru

So let's be honest here, as much as we all like to pretend that we're immune to someone being attractive just because they also prove to be an awful person, but if we're being honest with ourselves, we're not and I am most certainly no exception to that rule. Dori Sakurada is a handsome man whose good looks are only matched in quality by his amazing acting skills. If you're familiar with his work then you know exactly what I'm talking about and if you're not, then I'd recommend watching 3B no Koibito ( Available with English subs on Youtube ) or Scum's Wish ( Available on Rakuten Viki ) to get an idea of how varied this man's acting skills are. In AIB, he plays a character that is somewhat villainous and can almost be classified as your stereotypical movie sociopath. Yet, still, there's something intriguing beyond just his good looks. Dori Sakurada's performance breaths new air into the lungs of the character of Niragi by not only becoming the villain but also, by picking up the mannerisms and master gestures associated with the character that make him such a memorable part of the story. I haven't seen Dori's full Filmography but the character I have seen outside of AIB are a complete left turn from this character which makes me think that the casting director at Netflix Japan needs a raise for having chosen someone who looks so sweet to be such a villain.

Nijiro Murakami as Chishiya Shuntaro

When it comes to characters that become scene-stealers, Chishiya Shuntaro is definitely one of them. This character is so powerful that I, even, named my cat after him. That is a fact of which I am not ashamed. From the second episode of the show, when we are first introduced to him, he becomes an integral part of the framework of the game he is involved in and it is obvious that we will see him again. That being said, there is no way to word Murakami's performance besides 'integral' as my friend put it, "I literally could not imagine anyone else playing this character." As Chishiya, Murakami takes on such a life and ease in the character that it's almost difficult to believe that the sly facial expressions paired with his nonchalant air are not in his nature and are, in fact, something that he donned for the role. I look forward to seeing not only more of Murakami as this character but exploring more of his filmography in general.

Aya Asahina as Hikari Kuina

Kuina as a character is someone that the protagonist does not meet until a few episodes into the show but when it comes to backstories and characters with rich personalities, she shines compared to a lot of other characters I have seen like her. I won't spoil her backstory for you since she's definitely someone who represents something that's a little bit rarer in stories from more reserved cultures but she definitely deserved a mention in this category due to her amazing acting skills and her flawless stunt scenes.

Ability to Keep Interest: 10/10 || Provocation: 8/10

While the rest of my stats got their own individual evaluation, these are going to be combined and the reason for this is because they have the same reasons for their scores. As I mentioned before, Alice In Borderland takes a new spin on the 'play games to live' genre that is so common amongst anime and manga and for that reason, it was able to keep my interest so much so I finished watching it over the course of two days. It was also a deeply thought-provoking situation because the nature of the games and the backgrounds of the characters forced me to think up my own games and my own ideas of where the characters whose backstories are not explained could've come from. That being said, a lot of the thoughts that the show provoked did end up becoming depressing, especially after reading the manga because I discovered that some games could not have had a better outcome due to their simple rules and that made me very sad because even if I am not attached to or fond of a character, I still do not enjoy their downfall.

Overall: 8.5 = DING! DING! DING! WE HAVE A KEEPER!

Overall, I enjoyed Alice In Borderland enough to have rewatched it one and a half times since I first watched it a few weeks ago. As someone who rarely goes back to shows that involve plot twists and suspense because I already know what's going to happen, that really says a lot for not just the storyline but also the acting and amazing intricacies that are in the show. I still feel like each time I watch it, I glean some new detail or fact that I hadn't thought of before and I come to understand the games a bit more with each passing scene or episode. I also feel that the more I rewatch the show, the more I sympathize with even the villains and come to value and understand their motivations and roles. 8.5 out of 10. I WOULD RECCOMMEND.

Thanks for reading!!

#alice in borderland #aib review #alice in borderland review #tv show review #netflix review #alice in borderland netflix #nijiro murakami #dori sakurada #niragi suguru #chishiya #chisiya shuntaro #kuina hikari #aya asahina #kento yamazaki #kakegurui

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anepiphany · 4 years

Text

the bau & jury duty: headcanons.

w/ @ellegreenawy

spencer reid: mutters under his breath when they get slight details wrong.

"do you think you know more than the judge or the lawyers?"

"actually, yes."

"in what respect?"

"in all of them.”

corrects people when they don't call him doctor.

"up next we need mr. spencer reid."

"that's doctor spencer reid."

shows his fbi badge when they ask him for id. would for sure be correcting the layers’ statistics.

"actually, that's not quite right. did you know..."

penelope garcia: would "somehow" never get picked for jury duty. in her words, it’s “magic”. she avoids the topic to the best of her ability, though.

“say, garcia, you haven’t had jury duty in a while, haven’t you?”

“o-oh, i guess i’m just l-lucky. it’s magic. oh look, i think that’s hotch calling me. gotta go!”

emily prentiss: emily would probably convince garcia to do the same thing for her that she does for herself and then once every few months take around 4 days off because of "jury duty".

"emily, you had jury duty this weekend, right?"

"yeah, i did."

"then why are you a lot tanner than you were last week?"

"...tanning lotion in my hotel bathroom?"

"sure, prentiss."

hotch or another bau member questions her about it sometimes, but they didn’t really care enough to actually check. emily was always there for cases and turned her work in on time, so it didn’t matter too much.

“hey emily, you really have jury duty a lot. didn’t you just go like 6 months ago?”

“yeah, must be my bad luck. i should go, gotta pack! yes, need a lot of stuff for the next four days.”

david rossi: rossi just sits there and does not give a single fuck. he doesn’t want to be there and makes sure that everyone knows that. he knows that his team is doing more important cases at the moment, but he’s stuck in this stupid trial. he’s the least involved with the other jurors.

"um, mr. rossi? what do you have to say for this?"

"hmm?"

"mr. rossi, are you paying attention?"

"mhm."

"well, you have to make a decision, it's a tie. it's all down to you now."

"well i don't really care. whatever gets me home faster."

"mr. rossi, do you know who you're talking to? i'm a judge."

"no, do YOU know who you're talking to? i founded the behavioral analysis unit of the fbi. and i’m a best-selling author to boot. what have you done besides sit here and be a pompous dick?"

"i-"

he might not be involved with the other jurors, but he’s definitely paying attention to the trial. the jury would be arguing and he’d make one point that ends up making them all stop talking and end up agreeing. he would also totally do the "hush, the adults are talking" thing that jj and emily do in that one episode with morgan’s cousin.

jennifer jareau: jj wins everyone over with pictures of her kids. she’s too pure to use it to influence other jury members (plus her morals wouldn’t let her either) so instead she just uses it to get really nice catering and bathroom breaks whenever she wants.

"and this is henry, he's 7. the other one is michael."

*everyone awws*

"and that tall one is spencer. not biologically my kid, but close enough."

"how old is he?"

"oh he's 32."

bonus points because she also has jack’s picture on her phone.

"so how many of these are your actual children?"

"depends on what ‘actual’ means."

as the trial goes on, she's complaining about people's incompetence, and the other jurors are so confused.

“is this the really sweet woman who was just showing us baby pictures?"

jj is also either fully supporting the prosecution or fully supporting the defendant. there's no in between. she listens to the evidence so she can decide it fairly, but once she has a decision she has a decision.

"i see this happen every day. i'm a profiler, for fuck's sake. can you not see how the defendant’s story was almost the same, word for word, each time he said it? it was clearly rehearsed. plus, he kept on looking to the left as he thought. it’s a possible sign that he was lying."

“the evidence clearly doesn’t add up! the prosecutor is creating a story out of nothing.” *proceeds to poke holes in every part of their argument until the whole jury is nodding along with her*

aaron hotchner: a little like spencer. he would totally be making comments about everything, because he was a prosecutor. they’d be quiet though, under his breath. he never actually corrects anyone, but you can definitely hear him muttering. sometimes it's a trying-to-be-helpful tone and other times it's a you-dumbass-what-are-you-doing tone.

"no, no. that's not the argument you want to be making."

besides that, he’s pretty much silent. when the jury is discussing, he’ll make one statement and give his opinion and then shut up unless he’s directly talked to. very few times, he’ll get mad or frustrated, like when the case is especially bad or the trial isn’t going well, but he’s still polite about his displeasure.

derek morgan: honestly a lot like jj. decent, upstanding citizen. wins over all the grandmothers. he helps them to their chairs, walks them to their cars, helps them get food, etc.

“hello, i’m derek.”

*cue grandmothers swooning*

he also gets the phone number of every single girl there, regardless of age. but when he starts dating/marries savannah, every time a girl hits on him, he just shows a picture of hank so everyone just simps instead. (he might get those girls' numbers anyway just to offer them dating advice.)

"look at you, hot stuff!"

*shows his lock screen, which is a picture of sav and hank*

"oh, my bad."

“but if you’re ever in need of dating advice, i’d be happy to help.”

he always makes sure justice is delivered, even if that means going against what most other people think. and he’s very vocal about what he thinks.

#criminal minds #headcanons #bau team #jury duty #bau team x jury duty #spencer reid #david rossi #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #derek morgan

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

I Know Places - Director Orson Krennic x Reader 4 (Rogue One)

* I was originally going to use this song for Patience. So. It’s come full circle!

Finale to I Think He Knows / Hero / Protector

@wltz-bby @happyskywhale

Author’s Note: We’re here! We are concluding my 4 part Retcon / AU Krennic request series! @purebloodwitch I can never thank you enough for giving me the opportunity to write this! I know it’s taken me almost a whole year to finish it! 🙈 But I do hope you’d forgive me, and I hope you enjoy my conclusion! 💙💜

I Know Places - Taylor Swift Ah, we begin and end with Taylor and also similar titles!

Disclaimer: Rogue One characters not mine / Star Wars plots etc not mine (might have slightly screwed up a little here but...) / lyrics & gifs not mine

Premise: Your relationship is shaky now, how can it not be? Orson’s career is in ruins, and you have strategic battles to win. There’s a lot on both your minds, and in trying to protect each other from The Empire, wires get crossed...

Words: 9834

Warnings: Swearing / Basically constant ‘threat’ / AU/Retcon

______

You stand with your hand on my waistline It's a scene and we're out here in plain sight I can hear them whisper as we pass by It's a bad sign, bad sign Something happens when everybody finds out See the vultures circling, dark clouds Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out It could burn out 'Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes and guns They are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run Baby, I know places we won't be found And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down 'Cause I, I know places we can hide I know places, I know places Lights flash and we'll run for the fences Let them say what they want, we won't hear it Loose lips sink ships all the damn time Not this time Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it, my love They are the hunters, we are the foxes, and we run Baby, I know places we won't be found And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down 'Cause I, I know places we can hide I know places They take their shots, but we're bulletproof And you know for me, it's always you In the dead of night, your eyes so green And I know for you, it's always me

---

Orson didn’t have too much time to get totally depressed about it, not really. You were back in the air and had a job to do. But you clearly weren’t his favourite person; when he requested a room of his own aboard the Resolution it stung. But you couldn’t grant him his wish, due to lack of availability. So even though he was in your room he wasn’t sleeping with you, and any time you tried to broach the subject with him he simply pushed you away. You had to give him time, and as much space as this ship, and your quarters, were able to provide. He had to know that you never wanted this. He had to know that your only option was to save his life, again. If the Empire managed to tear you apart over this, then you were about to have serious doubts over how genuine this relationship was.

You were sure he hadn’t been black listed, considering his tablet pinged on occasion and you couldn’t think it would do that for any other reason than work. But Krennic would stare at the message and then sigh and turn it over again. You had thought about leaving him to collect himself on Coruscant but, if you did that, he would likely run into people that would ask a lot of uncomfortable questions of him. Let alone, with the tensions between you, the arms of someone else… he still had that reputation. You were also wary of the potential for just about anyone to come for him again - and at least Krennic agreed that he was safer with you.

You weren’t really sure how you were supposed to tell him that he looked so good out of uniform though - you thought he’d get angry if you did that. It was freedom, you thought. Yet not freedom he wanted. Still, button up shirts and smart black pants were his new uniform of choice and he was easy on the eye.

Today you were sprung into action by an emergency alarm - the Death Star was under attack and your assistance was urgently required. Part of you debated ignoring orders - Tarkin got himself into this; he could damn well get himself out. However, you knew you were already on thin ice you’re your superiors, and it was Orson’s baby. Like it or not that Tarkin was in charge now - you weren’t sure you’d forgive yourself if Krennic found out you’d disobeyed these orders.

You turned to your bridge, after weighing it up and sighed gently; “Okay, Sayra-!” “Yes m’am!” She stood to attention, but it looked like she was already three steps ahead of you. “Make sure that what we’re doing is broadcast ship wide... Tell Tarkin the Resolution is on its way. Alarms on, battle stations, prepare for the lightspeed jump. Don’t wait for my signal, take it as soon as you’re able.” You turned to Jerod, “You think Tully will be there?” “Without a doubt.” “Great - with me, we need a strategy...” Jerod got a little closer than necessary. “This better not be a plan for treason!” “You think I wanna help Tarkin?!” “I think your partner thinks you’ve done enough-!” You scoffed, “All he needs to know is we’re going to ‘protect’ his project.” Jerod smiled knowingly - you still weren’t talking; “I knew you broadcast ship wide like that for a reason.” ** Tully stared at you (probably rightly) like you were insane, “You’re lucky they don’t monitor this-! Are you crazy-!?! Hasn’t Tarkin done enough to you!?” “If he thinks I’m just gonna bend to his will from now on, he’s got another thing coming. I wanna get out of this alive Tully, don’t you!?” “Staying on the edge of the battle is going to look like what you’re saying it is. Y/N, we’re gonna have to really milk this for it to not look like further treason on your part!” “Treason!?” You laughed, “We’ll be helping out.” “Barely...” Tully placed his fingers to his lips for a moment to consider it, “you trust me?” “Of course I do.” “Then we go with your plan. But if he asks me to do more, Y/N-” You held your hands up to stop your fellow Officer from panicking, “I’m not expecting you to follow through when Tarkin starts screaming, don’t worry.” “Why are you so adamant about this?” “I dunno. Part of me thinks I’d feel better, at least, if I saw that thing blown out of the sky.” Tully laughed, with a wink as he signed off, and you heard the rumblings of his ship breaking out of lightspeed. “Be careful what you wish for!”

By the time you were up on the bridge you were also preparing to drop out of lightspeed. “Shields up, get ready to fire on all cylinders. But careful, this Rebel Alliance is tricky. We’ve seen what it’s capable of on Scarif and I’m sure none of us want a repeat of that.” Especially not you. And you were right of course, they were being very tricksy. Exactly what you wanted; time to execute your plan: “I want fighters in the air. Keep a few of our teams on standby. I would expect that the rebellion has more to the fleet and they’re holding back right now... I don’t want us running low before we can even make a dent.” You flipped a plethora of statistics up onto your main viewing screen and studied them thoroughly; the less of your crew that had to suffer the better.

It was all going fine until there was commotion at one end of your bridge, you turned to see officers barring none other than Krennic from entering: “Ranked officers only on the bridge, Sir!” “Sir!?” He spat, outraged, “Ranked officers only-!!? Don’t you dare-” “Stand down lieutenants.” Your voice carried across the bridge and they stood back, “It’s okay. If there’s anyone here that knows anything about this station, it’s him.” Krennic brushed off his shirt and gave them both a smug smirk before he approached you, taking the steps up to your command platform. “General, if I may...” You motioned him to follow you to the window, “You may not be a Director, but in my eyes you certainly still are. Your advice here would be greatly appreciated.” His voice lowered considerably, “The rebellion?! They’re coming for the Death Star and you and I both know why.” You stared back at him pointedly, “The flaw.” “Yes. Now what are you... looking for them to exploit it?” “Yes. And giving them as much time as necessary whilst looking like I’m backing it up.” “Who else is in on this?” “Tully.” “TULLY!?” “Orson, I trust him. My question should be to you, if the rebellion somehow exploit Galen’s one in a million flaw... do you care?” He looked out across the expanse of space, at the orb just floating serenely in the chaos of the dog fights that surrounded it. Krennic was hesitating: and you knew that it was a big decision, it was his life’s work. He might have muttered to you that he didn’t care now it was Tarkin’s, but everything he’d worked for was there - Orson had to decide, and quickly, if he was alright with it being blown up right before his eyes. “No. You do what you’re doing. Do not get this ship in trouble.” You smiled, “That’s my job.” Then nodded to him, “Thank you, Krennic. You are dismissed if you do not wish to stay, and I’d understand that.” “No.” He turned to you. “I’m here.” Then very slowly he slipped his hand into yours and linked your fingers, “We’re going to see this through.” Your smile grew, and you were happy that he was back with you here. Maybe he’d even forgiven you. “I’m glad you’re here. I need you.” Orson’s smile was sincere to match that look in his eyes, “I’m with you, Y/N. I always have been.” *** The dog fights along the surface of the Death Star had you mesmerised, and you kept glancing to Krennic every time his hand tensed in yours. He knew what he was looking for; you didn’t. What you did know was you were losing far too many TIE fighters. “Are we about to fire on the rebel base?” Jarod looked from the planet to you, “Well, yeah.” But then tapped the screen to show the base was obviously shielded. “So why aren’t we getting involved here…” You apologetically slipped your fingers from Orson’s and approached your assistant, “Why can’t we all fire on it, why does it need to be the Death Star?” “You want to get in range of that-!?” “Well, they didn’t exactly care on Scarif.” “Scarif was single reactor ignition, just like Jeddah was. When they blow the planet you’re gonna be glad we’re out here!” You looked back to the orb, “…What are they waiting for?” “What do you think they’re waiting for?” You turned back to Krennic, fingers to his lips, looking worried, “…Hopefully we don’t get to find out.” You cleared your throat and turned back to your communications team, “Pull our fighters back, we are losing far too many in stupid circumstances, I’m not having it. They’re getting too careless.” Sayra blinked at you a few times, “You… actually want me to say that?” “Yeah. I’d rather not have to completely replenish my ranks!” Krennic chuckled from behind you, making you turn to him, “Something to say?” “No.” But he was amused, even with his eyes still on the expanse of space, “Damn, I see why they gave you this job.” Suddenly Krennic’s smile faded and his hand shot out in an urgent need to call you over, turning back to make sure she was relaying your order, you strode over to him. “What?” “See this- this one!” He pointed out the X-wing to you, “That’s a pilot.” “Yeah?” That was not the only reason he’d called you over. “The run they’re making…” He paused, but not insignificantly. Making your own eyes widen as you turned to him, “The flaw is-?” You didn’t have the opportunity to finish your thought, let alone your sentence as the sudden flash of the explosion lit the darkness of space. Everyone on your bridge who wasn’t already on their feet suddenly stood, and gasping and yelling of all kinds was present. The three of you on your platform were stunned into momentary silence as the battle station ignited, and all that was left in front of you was debris. The shock waves carried enough to rock your ship, causing you to grab Krennic to steady yourself. Shield’s whining at the strength. “Pull us back a little, I don’t want any more dents in her!” “Shields are holding General!” “I still err caution!” You stumbled towards the viewing window still staring at where the Death Star should have been, Krennic joined your side. “You’ve heard of poetic justice, right?” “Yeah.” “I think we might have just witnessed it.” “Don’t let anyone else hear that!” Jerod’s screen filled with notification after notification – urgent contact messages, and all for you. Sayra and he looked to each other in sudden realisation and he called you. “General, what is our next move!? The fleet wish to know!” You couldn’t have looked more confused as you turned to him, “The fleet!?” Orson’s voice was much quieter, “Tarkin just got taken off the board, General. You’re the highest ranking officer here now.” Jerod nodded encouragingly to Krennic’s explanation and you swallowed hard as it hit you: Tarkin was gone - too late to help your lover, perhaps. But not a second too soon for your liking. Turning to Krennic your eyebrows raised, “We’re the only ones who know about the fault… we control the narrative!” He nodded encouragingly, making you in turn nod to Jerod, “We just lost our most important battle station – that’s a strategic loss! We’re in sight of the rebel base; who knows what the hell they have down there that can wipe out the rest of our fleet. We’ve just lost our highest ranking military official, and our edge.” You were assured in your stance, “We need to regroup before they can catch us off guard. Lose the battle, win the war. Pull everyone off the field Jerod. That’s an order!” *** You weren’t exactly commended for the battle – but your quick thinking, and quite frankly bullshit excuse, to get away from the rebels was appreciated. Now you were back on Coruscant – and without a super weapon the Empire was in disarray. Not something you wouldn’t bounce back from, but it left you restless. And no one was giving you a promotion to Tarkin’s position. Which annoyed you no end. “They won’t give you what you want, if they did you could reinstate me. Right now, they have you where they want you and unable to assist me.” You turned to Krennic from looking out over the city, “Well then it’s a good thing you still have your architecture.” He shrugged, “It’s still quiet, people are still cautious. Except Lexrul. Which is okay, but… I didn’t exactly grow up on a planet that can afford… me.” Walking across the room to you, Krennic gathered you in his arms and you melted into him, head on his chest. “I’m worried, Orson. This isn’t the end. The Empire will want revenge, but the Rebellion has the upper hand. It’ll get worse before it gets better – I want to be involved in what’s going on.” “And you will be, but you know more than anyone you need to be careful…” He pressed a tender kiss to your hair, “I can’t lose you out there.” “Really? I was under the impression that you’d rather lose your life than those plans of yours.” Krennic tensed suddenly, making you raise your head, “What? What is it?” “They still have my work. Vader will keep you on a leash that’s for sure, but my work.” He took a step back, hands on your shoulders, “Y/N, they will hold me over you as long as I’m breathing, you know that.” “You better not be suggesting anything stupid,” You growled, pulling him back by his shirt collar, “not after what we’ve just been through!” He tried to release your grip on him, to no avail, “If they can’t make those plan’s work-” “Stop it.” That caused your hands to tighten. “They’ll drag me back into it, only I won’t have rank.” “They CAN’T have you. They made their choice. If they think they can take you away just to break you again-” you stopped, and then narrowed your eyes, “Wait. Are you talking about a SECOND Death Star?!” It all seemed fairly obvious to Krennic, “After all why not. Why stop with one!?” “It took you years to get it up and running.” “Yes. But now they have a complete works. Give it 3 or 4, maybe 5 and we’ll have another. I doubt the Empire will fall in that time with people like you leading the fleet.” “Orson…” “Well only one of us will be privy to it, Y/N.” “What if they do?” “…Well, we must prepare for such a situation.” “And the Empire?! You can’t talk about it falling and not-” “Hush.” He placed a finger to your lips, “Don’t think on that one just now.” “Orson!” “Don’t… You’ve done enough. This time you really have…” You let his collar go as he drew you back to him, “No matter what happens, Y/N, I love you.” “Stop talking.” “But-” “You’re scaring me…” You mumbled, burying your face in his shirt, inhaling his scent. Tonight it wasn’t comforting. “Baby, you’re scaring me…” ***

What Krennic had said was deeply worrying, and it weighed on your mind heavily for a whole year. You tried not to let it show, and sometimes you almost forgot, almost but never quite until someone said something that would bring it flooding back. People always liked to ask you what Orson Krennic was doing these days. You made a mental note to distrust everyone that did – and you kept him as close as possible. Luckily, as it appeared the Empire wouldn’t keep to their black listed word, his client base picked up and Krennic became happier. But you didn’t let him out of your sight, and as the Empire sent you away time and again with the Resolution to extinguish pockets of Rebels, he came with you. It was nice sometimes, to return to him after a hard day of ordering people around in some of the most bogged down space battles you’d ever endured. He always took care of you when your nerves were frayed, and it was just as nice to wake up tangled up with him in your sheets. You’d learned that Krennic didn’t so much like being called Director anymore, but the way that General spilled from his lips was still rather pleasing. If only you could command your ship from your quarters, you would stay with him all day. It wasn’t possible; but you would let him make you as late as he wanted. The Empire could keep on blaming themselves for that. These fights were more frustrating than anything else. You never seemed to get a straight answer from the lofty heights of command – now apparently Vader and the Emperor working through others, but you never answered to either of them directly. They were being strategically shifty with you, sending you to far off battles that didn’t mean much - and you knew this - but were apparently ‘important’. You thought all they were doing was wasting your time and resources, and sometimes you felt command wished the Rebels would get lucky and take you out as a problem. It never happened; they should have known better. It was starting to get tiresome for you, and on occasion it was obvious that – despite your rank – the chain of command hardly cared for you. You got a higher frequency of conflicting messages the more you were sent out. To which you’d always turn to Jerod. “So, which one is it?” “Any of them?” “Screw this, we’re doing it my way. What’s the point of this damn bar if they’re gonna control me!?” “Well. The Resolution follows your lead, General.” Apparently no one cared about that either, because you were never hauled into offices for doing things that were quite frankly dangerous. You came to the conclusion that it can’t have been because the Empire was in such disarray – but because they wanted you to make such a big mistake you’d be disgraced or killed in action. You were smarter than that; you didn’t get here on blind luck and you refused to lead good people into a battle without straight orders. Better to ignore them and follow your own intuition and instincts – they hadn’t let you down yet. Besides, you had an ex-Director to advise if necessary – and Krennic was a great card to have up your sleeve. The Empire didn’t see that either. On yet another jaunt across the galaxy, Orson did the unexpected and refused to go. “WHAT!?” You backed him against the old senate building, furious, “Are you insane!? They will kill you if I’m not here!” “Tully is staying, I’ll be fine with him.” “You think I’m going to fall for that-!? You’re coming with me!” Tully cleared his throat, “The Excelsior is in for repairs. Krennic is welcome to stay with me whilst we see to them. I’ll keep an eye on him, Y/N.” You scowled at him, “And what about if you get called off planet!?” “I’ll take him!” Your eyes narrowed, “Y/N, you know I’ll send you coordinates and you can retrieve him.” “I don’t like this.” “You leave him alone when you’re at meetings, right? You know he can fend for himself…” Tully pulled you away from Krennic for a moment, allowing Orson some breathing space and to straighten his clothes. “This could be good for you.” “I’ll just worry-! Tully this is not a good idea!” “Focus on your job for the Empire. What they think you ought to be doing. You already know what they’re trying to make happen here. I’ll watch out for him I promise. You do what they hired you for.” You took a deep breath looking back to Krennic, who was clearly trying very hard to lip read you both. Tully turned you away, aware of this too, “You both almost died on Mustafar. I know you don’t need reminding of that – but they reinstated you. Stay in favour and play it smart. Be the General who is defending her Empire. I think there’s some important strategic meetings coming up about a certain battle station that I could use some intel on, if you follow me.” You turned back around, understanding completely, eyes sorrowful as you looked to Krennic – and yet knowing what you must do. You nodded, swallowing thickly before looking at Tully hard. “Protect him. Or I SWEAR.” “I’m dead. More than dead. I get it.” You gave a firm nod before crossing back to Orson, taking his hands in yours, “Stay alive.” “I’ll try.” “You better!” You brushed your lips to his, “I’ll be as quick as I can.” “Go. I told you before, didn’t I, they’ll follow you anywhere, Y/N. You’re the Empire’s only hope.” You chuckled, letting him go with one last quick kiss, “I think there’s no hope for the Empire you’re thinking of. That went up in flames when they hurt you.” Krennic was good at keeping himself hidden – years as an intelligence operative had sharpened those skills enough to mean that Tully didn’t need to keep as much of an eye on him as expected. Orson busied himself with his work and kept to himself. Except at today’s briefing, where Tully had brought him down to the senate – he would have to impart all the information he heard to Krennic very quickly, and he didn’t think he could retain it on the journey back to his apartment. They both had an inkling on what this ‘breakthrough’ briefing could be about. Tully hurried through the building a lot quicker than he should have to where Krennic would be waiting – almost the very first to leave, Tully had to be extra careful not to look to shifty. Orson swept from his hiding place and in step with the General, as if he’d always been there. “Are we correct?” Tully nodded, “They’re certainly making one.” “And?” “Well your name hasn’t been mentioned yet, but it’s only a matter of time before it is... then god only knows.” “Why has she not been informed?” It may have been obvious, but you still out ranked Tully, to Krennic it made no sense for them to exclude you. Besides, they could still hold Orson over you. “I assume because once they do mention your name, if they decide they need to drag you off to force you to work on it, she can’t tip you off and have you half way across the galaxy...!” “What do they think she’s going to do? I’ll compromise her no matter what!” “Well, what are your suggestions!? They’ll make sure there’s no way to blow it up this time – however the Rebels did that…” “She’s too limited with me alive.” Krennic stopped on the steps and turned to Tully, “There are no more moves to make with me still on the playing field.” “You’re NOT suggesting you die!? After what you two went through!? And how?! Do you KNOW what she’ll do?” “We need a plot. It’ll have to be well planned, complicated and elaborate but… Tully I need to die. Imagine what she can do when they can’t threaten her with my death.” “Complicated is one word for it, how about impossible!” The younger man’s look was sharp. “Not impossible. You and I know enough about the weapons division to know it’s possible… Tully, consider this. There’s a way out of this for all of us!” “Then can we both agree on something, before we think of enacting something so CRAZY!” The General hissed, eyes wide. “Yes.” Krennic blinked, ready to hear something at least a little level headed. “She isn’t going to like this one bit!” Krennic’s face fell, but then he chuckled nervously, “No… she’ll probably kill me herself!” There was an abnormally long silence – and Tully and Orson both knew this was bad even by your standards. You sat listening and all your face went through was varying stages of dread, before your head finally sunk into your hands – and you’d remained in this position after they’d finished. Finally you removed one hand from your forehead and waved it between them; “Which of you idiots do I have to thank for this!?” Orson was defensive: “It’s my idea. It’s the only way this is going to work.” “You think me waltzing into the senate and declaring you dead is going to work, do you!?” There was far too much buzzing around your head about what exactly could go wrong, for you to be polite about it. “There’d have to be witnesses-” You shot Tully a venomous glare, “You?! You think that’d be good enough? They know we’re friends Tully. It’s not exactly evidence is it!?” “Then there needs to be something solid.” Krennic’s eyes fixed to Tully, the two of them thought they’d come up with a good solution. “You have to kill me. To make sure they can’t ever use me against you again.” “-WHAT?!” Your anger at the idea reached its peak and Orson could see the flare behind your eyes that was about to have him met with a string of curse words. Instead he cut over you. “The weapons division will have something somewhere that will look like blaster fire. It’ll probably hurt like hell. Give the illusion that I’m really dead. But I’ll be fine. And it has to be YOU, Y/N, for them to believe you’re back on side. That what happened on Mustafar was more than just you betraying me-” Krennic paused to indicate he knew that wasn’t what happened, “-but was to get you back on track. You and I are done. You used me… whatever anyone wants to call it.” Your eyes flicked back to Tully who nodded to confirm that such weaponry was available. “Well I don’t trust just anyone… What if they deceive me and I end up really killing you?! In fact, I barely trust anyone in the Empire now. It’s getting harder to trust my own crew. It doesn’t surprise me that some of them think I’m losing it…” Not those most loyal, but those on the edge… those amongst the crew who shunned the once great Director, now he’d been stripped of everything. “See-! All you need to do is shoot me. And I can think of a billion times I’m sure you’ve wanted to.” “That’s not the same as really doing it…” You tapped your fingers against your lips, “They need footage. That’s what you’re saying.” “Yeah.” Tully stepped forward, “As for the ammo itself. Don’t worry, I know a guy. I think we can pull this off.” You stood, crossing to your partner, “And then what? When you’re “dead”?” “We win the war. I lay low on some far-off planet. And you come back to me.” “Leave you alone?” He gathered you in his arms, “We all have to make sacrifices for this to work out.” Your gaze fell back to your friend, “I hope you know what you’re doing.” Tully gave a deep nod. “I’ll set it in motion.” He left abruptly with a bow, so as not to overstay his welcome. “You trust him?” Krennic’s ask was quiet, and you scoffed – hadn’t they just planned all this out together? “Tully may be more loyal to the Empire than I am, but he’s a good man. Better than most. I trust him with my life – it’s whether or not I trust him with yours.” “And do you?” Although you didn’t answer straight away, you did smile: “I do.” Krennic didn’t respond with words, instead pressing his lips to your forehead, before looking back over the city. It was now dark, and the stars winked in the night sky. Krennic tried to commit all the architecture to memory – so much of it was his, so much he’d had a hand in. It was never something he thought he’d leave, and yet looking at it now he knew he would be saying goodbye soon. He swallowed hard, hoping against hope that these plans wouldn’t unravel. He needed this to work, for your future together – for you more than anything, Krennic desperately needed this to work. He looked back to the stars exhaling, only luck could save you both now. *** Just when you thought the Empire might be getting back on track, balance tipped. Too many whispers about the return of the Jedi had you thinking they were true and the Empire was just trying to squash them. The Rebellion had hope – the people living under the flag of the Empire who wanted rid of it were gathering in vast numbers. The only thing on your side was your kindness and mercy – but it wouldn’t save you. Anyone taking one look at your rank would have you tried for war crimes at the very least. Krennic, with everyone in fairly good spirits (and seemingly excluded from the second Death Star), had done some travelling to smaller planets where his services were wanted. He’d re-grounded himself on the pretences that perhaps people would think that an unprotected ex-Director’s death would have the same impact on the Empire as a high profile General. He didn’t need that weighing on your mind too. It was only supposed to be a fake death, after all. But the whispers didn’t stay whispers, and people freely and openly talked about defying the Empire – about what the Rebellion was planning. Where once he would have run straight to High Command with this information, maybe even would have run to win back their favour, now Orson only thought of you. Included amongst them – a Rebel fighter who had a good shot at you would only see high ranking official. Not everything else you’d ever stood for. Orson wouldn’t allow it to happen. He COULDN’T allow it to happen. Which is why he sprinted from his shuttle back home. You were just finishing an important holographic meeting as he flung the doors wide and you turned, surprised, as the blue holograms flickered out. “Orson, wha-” “We need to do this. Now.” “Do what?!” “Enact the plan. You need to call Tully and we need to do it NOW.” He pulled your sleeve towards the communications pad. “Orson, Orson, calm down. What’s wrong?” “You know the Empire is falling apart, the Rebellion grows stronger every second we stand here talking. We may not show it on the outside, but there are cracks, you know this.” “Yes, I just got off a call that said something fairly similar. Hey-!” You turned his face towards you with your fingertips as he began punching in Tully’s calling card number. “Slow down a minute. What does that have to do with our plan?” “Everything!” You pulled his hand and sat him down, hands firmly on his shoulders you slid yourself into Krennic’s lap, “Darling, elaborate.” Carding your fingers through Orson’s hair you brushed your lips to his, “And please, calm down.” He took a deep shaky breath, and nodded, “It’s you.” “Me?!” “I mean it’s likely the Rebellion would want to kill me out of spite. I did build the Death Star, but you. You’re a High General. You’re as high up as it gets without being in the… I mean you should be up there. If they don’t KILL you, they will try you and THEN kill you – probably. Prison for sure. If we enact this fake death thing… What if I never get you back?” “What if the Empire pulls through and we have nothing to worry about.” “Yeah, alright. Call this new disarray fixable, if you will. It doesn’t change your role here. If we enact this now, we can get you out of here too.” “Orson, I’m not running from the Rebellion. I’m not leaving my crew and my friends. Not until there is no other choice. But I need to get you out of here and soon, that much is true.” You kissed him gently, “Mark my words, I will return to you. Leave Tully to me. If you panic you will make mistakes; we can’t afford to put a foot wrong here.” Krennic obviously glared at you for insinuating he ever made mistakes – but sometimes he did let his emotion get the better of him. “Besides, Krennic, as if I didn’t before – I definitely outrank you now. I won’t lose you.” You stood, “I need you to trust me with this. I’m trusting your plan will work. You need to let me do my job and finish this fight with the Rebels. Whether the Empire comes out on top or not.” The look on your face was firm, and Krennic knew the only thing he’d get himself into was another argument. He stood with you, and took yours hands. “Return to me. PROMISE me, that no matter what happens you will come back to me.” “You mean more to me than anything, Orson. How could I promise you anything else? I won’t ever leave you. Don’t you know that by now?” He couldn’t help but laugh at that, yes. Of course he did.

Tully’s message just read ‘ready’ - it was dark, and you’d waited up on the pretence of working. Orson wasn’t allowed out after nightfall, that was a rule. Needless to say he wasn’t impressed and whined that you were no fun – obviously to have you prove to him otherwise – but rather that than he wind up dead in some back ally either by Rebel or Imperial hand; or whoever else he’d managed to piss off in his long career. So you’d sent him to bed early – how often did he even think of that, let alone do it? – and sat up with your tablet watching him. You almost missed the message for thoughts running around your head observing him: this wasn’t exactly a new activity for you, but now you were here you were thinking of how much you were about to miss this. His silhouette lit by the harsh lighting of Coruscant’s cityscape, softened by the organza curtains. There was a gentle breeze tonight, cooling, and the light kissed his bare shoulders and arms; highlighting his muscle structure – more battle-hardened warrior than you thought the Imperials would ever give him credit for. Never afraid to get his hands dirty – Krennic had enough smaller marks on him to tell all those stories on their own, you liked running your hands over them as he recited the accounts again and again. You’d never get bored of him; you’d never get enough of him. You tucked your tablet away and pulled on a dark cloak. You walked to the door to leave but paused, turning back to the bed with a gentle sigh, you rounded him. Positive that he was in a deep sleep – you had to be; you knew he slept with that blaster under his pillow. You never mentioned it, but you knew it was there. Such were the times these days. You ran your fingers gently through his hair and bent to kiss his cheek. Orson mumbled incoherently, but didn’t stir. You stood, knowing that you were on a time limit now, but you couldn’t help but smile – once you did this, he’d be safe. That was all that mattered to you now. When you caught up to Tully you unravelled your cloak from your face with an impatient sigh: “Is there a reason we’re sneaking around like this!? I feel like I’m some kind of Rebel intelligence operative!” “If people figure out what we’re doing we have BIG problems. And Krennic being dragged off as a slave to the Death Star is the very least of them. These weapons are probably illegal.” “NOW you tell me.” “Look, do you want to save him or not!?” Tully pulled the blaster out of his jacket – it looked just like something standard issue. You supposed it, or its ammunition, had been highly modified. “So, is this gonna work? He’s gonna be fine right?” “Well... it’s gonna hurt, but it won’t kill him.” Your pause was lengthy; you weren’t sure that you wanted to hurt him, but you supposed it needed to look authentic. If it was painless it would be fairly obvious you were firing blanks. “Are you SURE!? Shit, Tully I can’t risk it on one shot-!” “Look I tried my damn best, I’m not a miracle worker-!” You sighed, tucking it under your cloak, “Well it’ll have to do, you’re a damn sight better than anyone else.” Tully pulled you back, “Just, word of advice, don’t aim for his heart.” “HELPFUL!” You very nearly hit him. “If it goes wrong, we want this to be fixable!” You rolled your eyes, he was going the right way about having you question this completely. “Okay, okay. No heart.” “Are you gonna tell him when you do it?” “No. He knows enough! I want it to be as close to as surprise as it can be…” “Well, I better be there too.” “Why?!” “Well, you gotta move a body and make sure that this doesn’t all fall into the wrong hands.” “MOVE A BODY!?!” Tully waved his hands to quiet you down, “Yeah, what part of ‘act like he’s dead’ don’t you understand, he can’t walk out of the situation, Y/N. That defeats the point.” “Fine. I’ll give you a call by the morning. To set up the where and when.” He nodded, “Then I’ll leave you to it.” You gave a nod, eager to now return to your partner on what could be one of your last nights together for a while. Certainly one of your last nights together on Coruscant. This time when you turned away, cloak hood up Tully didn’t turn you back, and you placed your hand over the blaster to make sure it was still there. What the hell were these men about to get you into-!?

***

It wasn’t so hard to convince Krennic to wander outside, just as it wasn’t so hard for Tully to ‘just happen across you’ and decide to take the same walk. You both knew that not only did Orson need to be shocked at the situation he found himself in – diva he might have been, but there was always the threat of overacting it – but he also needed to say all the right things, in case there were any other witnesses who heard or saw anything. You hoped not, leading him to a relatively quiet part of the city; if there was such a thing. You had coaxed Krennic on this walk with a simple “I want to show you something!” – always a phrase to pique the curiosity of an architect and engineer. There were always new buildings going up on Coruscant, some tucked out of the way, designed by new and upcoming architects that Orson would always take an interest in. He was clearly excited, walking just a little ahead of the two of you, eyes darting around and trying to find whatever it was you might be showing him before you introduced him to it. Tully was watching your face and the way you walked, placing a hand gently to your back. “Steady,” he murmured, “Just breathe. It’s all going to work out.” “I know. But with the whole idea, it’s hard to believe…” “You got this, Y/N… you’re a good shot!” He was shot himself, with a sharp look, “Shut up!” Before you reached back for your modified blaster. Time to put all your trust in the man beside you – and hope that Tully really was a friend, and wasn’t simply playing the longest game you’d ever seen. “Where are you taking me!?!” Krennic stopped in the middle of the small plaza, hands on hips, turning left and right on the spot. He’d run out of ideas, although this wasn’t familiar to him, nothing stood out as worth showing him. When he turned back, the puzzlement turned to shock. It would; you were pointing a blaster at him.

A million thoughts raced through his head. Orson knew what was about to happen; you’d talked about it as a group, and planned it. But he thought he might be more involved in the where and when! Oh. Shit! This is it-! He hadn’t got to say goodbye to the view here, your house, pieces of architecture he was particularly fond of, the last night he would get to hold you in his arms on Coruscant, to friends and acquaintances he’d likely never see again… You swallowed hard, “Sorry, Krennic.” There was hardly emotion behind your words – probably because if you let them flood out, you’d be in tears. “This is the end of the road.” He stared you down, one step back with a smallest head shake, his chest heaved. Upset but unwilling to show it in the face of death. “Y/N. After everything-!?” “Especially after everything! You almost cost me my role in the Empire! They don’t trust me even NOW because of you. Seems they don’t need you for the second Death Star project, so you’ve outlived your usefulness.” There was a flicker of apology in your eyes, you didn’t mean it. Krennic knew that – but he still looked shocked and upset; thank god this wasn’t real… “Tully…” His eyes flicked to your friend, “There must be a way to work this out?” Tully gave a shrug, and there was something scarily icy about him – one of Tarkin’s protégés alright. “You ask me she should have done this a long time ago. Should have given you up far earlier. No hard feelings, Krennic. With your plans in our hands… well, you know how the Empire is. You gotta get ahead.” “You’ve held me down far too long.” You affirmed, taking the safety off. Tully, if this doesn’t work…! Krennic’s time here was ending, and yet he was still only looking at you, “Y/N… Please… You don’t need to do this.” Your voice broke over your next sentence, and you couldn’t stop the single tear from sliding down your cheek, “Yes, I do.” Breathe… Just breathe… You pulled the trigger and the red blaster bolt shot across the plaza with one hell of a kick, jarring your arm, hitting Krennic square in the chest (a little too close to his heart for your taste). He grunted like the shot was real, and with his clothes smarting as he tumbled to the floor, you could hear Tully’s ‘I TOLD you not to aim for his heart-!’ resounding in your head. Only then did you breathe; it was a little choked out, but then you breathed deeper. That was unnervingly easy, you waited a few seconds, but Orson didn’t stir - making you look to the weapon – did it work? It must have. Now to figure out how to get him out of here. Tully seemed to have the details worked out on that more than you did. He was running the operation. Even though you’d just shot the man you loved, you couldn’t help smiling, turning to your friend; “Huh--! That worked!” Immediately colour drained from you and your blood ran cold. You were facing a blaster of your own, and there was absolutely no way you were raising yours without getting shot. You let those tears run now. “Tully, no…” You whispered it. Tully gave a shrug, like it was just business, “Sorry, Y/N.” Your eyes widened, adrenaline spiked and suddenly you couldn’t breathe for an entirely different reason. Was this him betraying you!? After everything you’d been through together, he was betraying you!?! Wait! Then what had you just shot Krennic with?! A real blaster bolt!? Had the man in front of you just convinced you to murder your partner? You were outraged, scared, alone. Tully’s finger pulled the trigger back and all you could think of was Orson. “This is for the Empire.”

*** Your head was pounding so hard that even your eyes hurt and that made you unwilling to open them. Even cracking one open and letting the light flood in was blinding. You squeezed them shut and groaned. Your body felt stiff and as you stretched, your joints cracked – complaining at you for having to do something. When you were certain your body might actually obey you, you opened your eyes again, and were faced with a bright white and yellow ceiling. You could feel a breeze too, and curious, you pushed yourself up on your elbows. “Aw, she’s back! Sorry that was probably a little stronger than the one you used on him.” You froze, turning your head slowly to one side, met with the grinning face of one General Tully, relaxing on the bed next to yours, book in his hands. “Welcome to the land of the living, Miss Y/N! Course I can’t call ya General now. You’re officially dead!” You blinked a few times, utterly confused and stared down at the rest of your body, now dressed in a soft white button up shirt and pants, this was very reminiscent of a hospital – but there were no machines or medicine in sight. Turning to him quicker and ignoring your head spinning, you glared: “You’re lucky I don’t KILL you!!!” All he did was laugh, and you had to put a hand to your head, closing your eyes to stop yourself from throwing up; “What the hell was in that?!?” “A decent amount of Tranq. Don’t worry you’ll be fine.” “Geez. Remind me never to ask you for a favour again.” You managed a chuckle, rubbing your head and turning to the bed next to you, half expecting to find a woozy Krennic waking up. Panic seized you when the room was empty. You weren’t in a position to stop it from crossing your face, but Tully soothed you. “Don’t worry, he’s fine!” You looked back to your friend; “Was this your idea!?” Tully shook his head slowly, eyebrow raised: “You don’t think he wanted to keep you safe too?” “Son of a-!” You lay back flat on the bed and sighed deeply. Tully was the only one in on everything, you were glad Orson trusted him that much. With both of you ‘dead’ – both of you were safe. And you assumed now far away from the Empire. It was well orchestrated, you’d give the General that. You bit your lip, a wave of sadness overcoming you at the consequences of a plan you hadn’t been aware of; “I never got to say goodbye to my friends...” “Don’t contact them yet. When whatever happens is over, they’ll find out you’re safe. If you trust them, they can know the truth.” “My ship...” You loved the Resolution. Everyone on it – what about Jerod, he was a great assistant. He didn’t deserve this… Sayra, always ready to go along with any of your ridiculous schemes and communications. Without her you’d never have got Krennic back on Scarif. You owed so much to them, just leaving like this wasn’t fair on either. “Sorry, Y/N. It was the only way.” You wiped your eyes and sniffed, swallowing hard, “I’ll reach out in due time. So they know the truth, those you want to know. But you can’t disclose your location.” “Do they know you did it!?” “No. Tragic rebel accident - don’t worry they were caught and killed. Unfortunately, your civilian partner also died. Guess some rebels saw the Director and didn’t care.” “And the rest of the Imperials?” You wondered how some people would take the fact that Tully had to announce your ‘deaths’, when he’d clearly been the one to kill you as a High General. At a time when the Empire would need people of your ranking most. “I’m sure you know that you’re not favoured amongst them. All I had to do was find the ones who would want you off the map... and get their blessing.” “You’ll be okay?” “Yeah. Found a good planet, got them on board and dressed them as flight crew. Easy to move and dispose of the bodies. Cleanly.” He indicated around the room, and you guessed that it must have been their planet that you found yourselves on now. Tully wasn’t staying, that was obvious, he’d go back to the Empire and do his job. No questions, no answers. “I feel like it’s good we’re friends. Remind me never to get on the wrong side of you! No wonder Tarkin liked you so much!” He laughed again, “Well, you know... luckily you’re the good sort.” When your body had calmed again you sat up and this time your look around the room was more pointed – searching for clues as to if there was a third person here somewhere. Nothing, though. To stop you potentially fretting over whether or not you might have accidently killed him, Tully nodded towards the open door, “Go on, go outside!” You turned questioningly to him, but he just gave you a smile like you didn’t need to ask, and turned back to his book. With clearly no more conversation coming from him you slipped off the bed, your legs immediately buckled from having to take your weight. You heard Tully snort from behind the pages, making you glare back at him, before you stood straight again and continued walking forwards. How long was I out!?! You stumbled a few more times but could catch yourself, and by the time you reached the door you were walking perfectly normally. Your breath caught momentarily, the planet was beautiful. The particular part you were on like a small cluster of houses on a resort. Bright sunshine and tropical plants, not a beach, but a resort you might expect to find on one. Standing at the end of the (alarmingly orange) stone pathway, arms folded and studying the sky, was Orson. You leant against the door, suddenly incapable of calling him, but overcome with happiness. Your plan had somehow worked. You had both made it. Stepping down onto the path was a little hotter than you expected – and you exclaimed your surprise before tentatively placing your bare foot down again. Krennic turned at this sound, instantly smiling and watched you careful navigate down the steps, only raising your head when you got to the bottom – when you beamed. “Tully said it might take a while. I woke up on the way here. Took me a few days to function fully… so be careful.” You weren’t about to heed that, of course, and ran the rest of the way to him, throwing yourself into his arms. “We made it.” “We did… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” “Oh, you’re in SO much trouble!” You giggled into his shoulder, loving that you could hold him close. If you’d stuck by the original plan, you might have been leaving him on such a planet and returning to war – this way you at least got to keep holding him. Krennic wound his arms around you, “We’ll stay for a little, but I’ve already learned much. This planet is unable to support us fully. There is a ship docked with enough fuel to take us to the outer rim. I suggest we find a planet and stick to it. Tully already says we ought to change our names, I’d like to think it will be temporarily.” “Well look at you, doing all your research.” “Not much else to do. Figure out how to rebuild from scratch. A challenge, but a fun one.” “You’re an architect and an engineer. You built a whole damn battle station that people named – and subsequently proved was – a planet killer. I think building a new life somewhere will be no trouble.” He chucked, a little bashful, “Perhaps. We shall see. I have you too, that’s more important than any of that.” You grinned, pulling him closer, “Ah, you old romantic.” Lips to his, Krennic wound his arms around you. Now you had the whole galaxy and the rest of your lives. You were safe, for all intents and purposes you were dead - ghosts, whispers across the galaxy. It was time to start again, bigger and better. And you could build this better future together.

*** It took a shockingly short amount of time for the Empire to fall to the Rebellion and their Alliance. But it also took longer than necessary for the news to spread across the galaxy.

The war is lost. The Emperor is dead. The Empire is broken, the Rebels win. One short transmission, heralding the arrival of something much more important. The Imperial Cruiser looked out of place so far from home. In the skies above a far, far, far outer rim planet. Out here they hardly even knew what the Empire was – Krennic wasn’t a name people had heard, beyond the skills of a certain architect who was making quite a name for himself. And his wife, a skilled Engineer – and tactician; if you needed something planned out or strategized for you, she was your woman. They had come from relative obscurity, to escape the Empire, and now lived in solitude on the far side of the planet they decided to inhabit. House fronting onto a private beach, there wasn’t another soul for miles. And yet everyone who wanted to, knew exactly where to find them. The Imperial Cruiser that landed on your beach front was, however, not an unwelcome sight. You and Orson stood in the doorway both smiling. “Is he an idiot?” “Think they’ll get shot out of the sky around here?” “Aren’t we supposed to be hiding? A well-intentioned missile and they’d be toast.” “Who around here would know how to do that?!” You raised an eyebrow at him, thinking that he already knew the answer to that question, before jumping down onto the beach and heading towards the cruiser, now opening its door. Orson followed you slower across the beach, but was the first to wave as Tully hopped out onto the sand – in civvies. “I see you’ve dropped your rank bar, General!” “Well, gotta survive somehow!” He grinned, as if it hadn’t been so long. As if the last time you saw each other wasn’t him hurriedly boarding his cruiser to head back to Coruscant, before you and Krennic had even decided on what you wanted to do. “I’m glad to see you, Tully. I’m happy you’re alive.” “It’s good to get to see you. Got a little sticky at the end there…” He ran a hand though his hair, “We got out. We’re okay.” Tully nodded back to you, “Lot changed?” You laughed, “Well, married now.” “Shit-! Really? Congrats! Nice house.” “Well, marry an architect and… his work becomes…” You waved in the direction of the house, “I’m very proud of him.” Tully called back to Orson, “She’s talking like you aren’t here!” “She’s very welcome to if it’s all compliments!” At first they shook hands, but then it became more of a hug, “Now we’re all civilians I suppose things can start… becoming more normal for us.” “We can hope.” Tully grinned, “I still can’t decide, part of me wants to join the Alliance, the Republic. Defecting – maybe but, I know where my strengths lie… Or live a quiet life like this…” Krennic scoffed, “You’re young. You have time.” “I do. We all do.” Tully turned back to you, “I have some people for you to see.” Your eyes widened, “You do!?” “Mhm.” All three of you turned back towards the ship as Jerod descended the ramp with a sheepish grin, holding his hand out to help Sayra hop down after him. “Hey, Y/N.” “J-Jerod!!” You ran to him and you embraced, “Holy- Oh my- I’m so- I’m so sorry, I-!” You were nearly in tears as you hugged Sayra tight too, “Hey, when Tully got back, he told us everything we needed to know. I get it.” “The Resolution, I-!” He grinned and Tully howled with laugher, both of them had made a bet on how long it would take you to mention your beloved ship, “Well, she, survived. Right until the end. But we never did find a captain quite like you. She’s holed up on a star base. Decommissioned. Sad but beautiful. You’d be proud of her and her crew, Y/N.” “I always was.” You smiled, grateful that everyone you cared about was here, and safe. Hopefully they could make lives for themselves in this strange new world, just as you had. Krennic cleared his throat, “Well, much as we could stand out here on this gorgeous beach all day, you’ve have had a long flight. Can we offer you a drink, of any strength?” Tully immediately grinned, “I’m here for it.” “5 o’clock somewhere!” Jerod agreed, Sayra beamed, “Besides, you’re really into wine, right?” “You’re lucky I like you enough to break out a good bottle.” Krennic’s humour was dry but still raised laughs and you nodded along. “Come on, you three should rest up, get comfortable.” “Yes M’am!” They grinned in unison and you couldn’t help but beam back. Orson held his hand out for yours as you all made your way back across the sand, and somehow that beam became stronger. A ray of sunshine; both of you free from the constraints of the Empire – you’d grown in ways that neither of you had ever dreamed. And you’d done it together. It was time for your friends to do the same, and you were looking forward to seeing it. You caught his eyes, and Krennic smiled to, squeezing your hand a little tighter. Who would have thought you’d end up here? From glaring at him in his pretentious classes (you’d always stand by that), to ordering him around as his superior officer, to a romantic relationship seemed far-fetched enough. Now you’d been through hell and back and faked your own deaths… on to marrying out here, so far from all you’d ever known. Yet, you knew there was so much to come. You pulled yourself into him, winding your arms around his and resting your head gently on his arm as Orson continued to banter with the others. Whatever there was yet to face, in this strange new world of the Republic, you’d do it together. Stronger than ever.

--- Thank you very much for requesting this from me! I hope the conclusion was worth the wait! Thank you for reading! 🥰💕

#181 #Ben Mendelsohn #Director Krennic #Orson Krennic x Reader #Director Krennic x Reader #Orson Krennic #I mean He's not a director anymore but here we are...#Linzi Writes #Linzi Writes Requests #Smol Bean Drabbles #Basically played Levitating by Dua Lipa on repeat to write the back half of this.#Which is funny cuz i'm giving it to Keller BUT it would work for Krennic.#Anyways that's beside the point #Ya'll be sleeping on everything but ITHK - ya'll all love that #and I'm like /theres 3 more! C'mon!/

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