#this was an imaginary scenario I made long ago

[1v31182m5]

#KFP #kung fu panda #tai lung #master shifu #kfp fanart #kung fu panda fanart #kfp shifu #his speech is more deep than it seems because I will help you look for them also means that he'll leave him to them #ecen though he sees him as his own child #very hard #this was an imaginary scenario I made long ago #I just thought of Shifu telling Tai Lung that he will help him find his parents when when Tai came to tell him that he's his family like'🧍' #okay dad can we go play :3

[bits-and-babs]

Hey darling! Finally sending an ask, that link list inspired me haha. Pretty please can I have Din Djarin x mirror sex but specifically the mirror being a reflection from a piece of his armour across the room👀

Thanks in advance, love you long time 💕

𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐔𝐒 — 𝐃𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐉𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍

» PAIRING : The Mandalorian x f!Reader

» CONTENTS : Sexy reflections, p in v sex, cream pie (wrap it, guys, I mean it), overstimulation, filthy Mando talk, use of Mando’a. 18+, ya nasties.

» DIN MASTERLIST : here || MAIN MASTERLIST : here

You know he can see you, that he’s noticed exactly what occupies your attention. Perhaps it’s shallow of you that you continue to have such an affinity for the armour even after all this time. His smooth, reflective breastplate gleams in the twin sunlight of Tatooine like a polished jewel, your face projected back to you on the surface.

The Mandalorian is observant. You are confident he’s twigged the way you never quite look into his visor, instead occupied by your own face staring back at you in the gouged ‘cheekbones’ of his helmet. He would often clear his throat to recapture your attention when you found yourself momentarily distracted by the mirror image in his chest plate.

Yes, you were aware of how it looked. It appeared self-obsessed, narcissistic even, but you couldn’t shake the vivid daydream that occupied your mind, rattling around while Mando spoke and drowning out his soft, husky voice.

Stars, you wanted to fuck him. Every waking moment of the day, you were consumed by your own arousal for The Mandalorian, all triggered by one solitary thought a few weeks ago when you had caught your reflection in his pauldron.

‘I’d be able to watch him fuck me’.

The salacious thought, previously only an intrusive yet fleeting imaginary scenario, had grown into a devastatingly consuming addiction. You imagined it, his chest plate reflecting his thick, ruddy cock spearing into you, your thighs slick with your own cum and glistening on the surface of the armour. How you’d see your own body tremble and writhe against the hangar floor, overcome by the arousal he drew from you and arching your ba-

“Hey,” Mando’s ever so slightly frustrated tone rips you from your scandalous daydream, rocking you back into reality. Overcome with embarrassment, you feel your skin burn hot under his questioning gaze. “You’re not listening.”

“I’m so sorry,” you speak quietly, and stars you mean it. It’s mortifying, being caught out like this. It’s easy to wonder if Mando thinks you consider yourself an Alderani princess, contemplating all the ways you can style your hair to be the most eligible at the Festival of Light ball.

“Do you-… Do you want to explain what the problem is?” He dares to ask, The Mandalorian’s voice lilting with mild concern, as though he’s concerned you may request to take his armour for yourself.

If only it were that simple.

“… It’s the reflection.” Your admittance makes Mando stop, his immovable helmet expression staring blankly at you in question. It was agonising. He wants you to spell it out to him.

You sigh heavily.

“I want-“

His cock splits you open, sinking deep inside of you and forcing you open around his girth. You sob out, arousal blooming through your nervous system as you watch the tears drip down your cheeks.

Mando had heard your ridiculous admittance with an open mind, answering simply by removing his breastplate. The click of the latch unlocking made your hairs stand on end, helplessly watching as he stood the armour up at the head of the tiny cot.

“Eyes on your reflection.”

He has you on your hands and knees, his gloves nipping at the skin of your bare hips. Mando hadn’t removed any other item of clothing, pulling his cock out of his flight-suit pants and immediately pushing inside of you.

“Ohhhfuck!” You squeak, his length sinking inside of you almost too easily, considering how little prep you’d been granted. The ridges of his cock push up against the sensitive spots inside of you, and you watch as your jaw drops at the overwhelming sensation.

“So wet. Do you walk around like this for me all the time?” He speaks. The modulator does little to hide the strain in his voice when your walls clamp down on him, desperate for more. “Leaking down your thighs for me, Sarad.”

You wail softly, staring at the reflection of The Mandalorian as his hips begin to rock forward and into you. His undulating body looks long and broad in the mirror image of the beskar armour. The rippling muscles of his abdomen flex and curl underneath the thin canvas of his black flight suit.

“Stars,” you wheeze as he suddenly picks up the pace, your fingers gripping tightly onto the bed sheets on the cot. Mando’s tentative testing seems to end, his hips picking up speed and force when he finds the confidence he will not hurt you.

Arching your back, you push your hips back into his thrusts. It sets off a string of grunts and groans from The Mandalorian. “Fuck- you’re so tight around me, Sarad. So tight and f-fucking wet.”

It’s so unusual for him; words usually buried deep unless absolutely necessary. You’re unsure you’ve ever heard him talk so much, his voice growing louder with each slap of his skin against the curve of your ass.

“Fuck- I’d… I’d let you ruin my armour with this pretty pussy,” he rambles, hands squeezing at every handful of flesh he can; your hips, your ass, your waist and breasts. “You can gr-hngg grind against it, mark it up with how wet you are. Make you lick it off-“

“Mando!” You choke out, each syllable of his utterly filthy words pulsing through you and blurring your vision of the chest plate with the tears that well in your eyes.

“Stars, just- Just mark me up with that pretty cunt. Stain my tassets. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Get to watch as you drag it over my beskar-“

You’re seeing double, the vision of Mando fucking into you at a mind-numbing pace making you light-headed. You can feel it build, feel it grow and tease at the edges of your body.

“I-I’m gunna c-ughhhh!”

Mando simply reaches around you, pushing the leather-clad pad of his thumb against your clit.

The supernova that blasts through you burns your muscles as they clamp down around him, sobbing loudly and forcing your eyes open to witness your writhing body in the outline of the armour.

Mando’s hips stutter in the image projected back to you, and you both watch and feel him bury deep inside you, cumming with a trembling groan. His palm splays across your lower back, pressing your upper body down against the mattress and continuing to fuck you through the obliterating overstimulation that follows.

Credits:

— Gif Credits unknown- let me know so I can tag you!

— Mandalorian divider created by me using Picsart stickers.

-

#꒰꒰ ‧₊˚📁 ─ my works ˚₊· ꒱꒱ #꒰ ‧₊˚ din 🥫 ˚₊· ꒱ #꒰꒰ ‧₊˚ 1k+ notes club ˚₊· ꒱꒱ #din djarin #din djarin imagine #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x female reader #din djarin smut #din djarin x y/n #din djarin x reader #din djarin one shot #din djarin masterlist #din djarin x you #the mandalorian #the mandalorian oneshot #the mandalorian drabble #the mandalorian smut #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x y/n #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian s3 #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #જ⁀➴ mail: received

[yanderes-galore]

Anon couldn't be here for the request period so I reserved two requests for them, this is their second one

Anon Said: "With “Dittophobia” generating renewed interest in FNAF 4, how about we revisit the nightmare animatronics a bit? Could we get some rivalry headcanons between Nightmare Bonnie and Nightmare Chica? I want to see some nightmares throwing hands (or claws in this case)."

A/N: Sure! This is based off the small behavior talk I did a long time ago! Been awhile since I've written for the Nightmares and I'm excited for this!

Yandere! Nightmare Bonnie vs Yandere! Nightmare Chica

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic - Rivalry

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Biting, Jealousy, Possessive behavior, Blood, Cannibalism mentioned, Stalking, Violence, Kidnapping implied, Supernatural forces, Mentions of death.

When it comes to the Nightmares I'm pulling from other works I've done.

Both Bonnie and Chica, they're cruel, sadistic, and crave attention.

You need to pay attention to their presence or you could get hurt, right?

Plus, I'd write these two similarly to how I wrote Nightmare Fredbear and Freddy in the past.

How I tend to write the Nightmares is they're demons.

Which would mean you have strange anthropomorphic mechanical animals haunting you.

I've said in the past they take a twisted form based on things from their target's past.

This would imply you've been to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza at least once in your lifetime.

It would only be better if you were fond of Bonnie and Chica as a young child.

When you could have first encountered these demons can vary.

Maybe similar to the Fredbear fic I've done in the past they were masquerading as your imaginary friends?

Since you were young and you came home from Freddy Fazbear's, you were always greeted by a large bunny and chicken.

Maybe when you were younger you never saw them as demons.

With your childish mind you only ever saw your friends from Freddy's.

Perhaps here they play nice, although often argue about your attention.

Play more with the bunny and the chicken appears jealous that you care more for the bunny's songs.

Play more with the chicken or eat her food she made for you and the bunny appears irritable.

It's then you meet them again as an adult.

Only to learn they aren't quite imaginary.

It's this or you meet them as an adult with no prior knowledge about them as a child.

However I feel them originally being your imaginary friends is the best case scenario.

Unless you want something similar to the Nightmare Freddy fic I did where you're babysitting a kid they are haunting.

Either way, this Bonnie and Chica are much different from their usual counterparts.

Not only in appearance either.

Bonnie still wants attention, especially from his favorite human...

He just hopes you don't mind his games getting a little violent or his music haunting your ears.

Chica also wants your attention, to the point she craves it like a meal.

The demonic chicken even still makes, she just hopes you don't mind if she puts a bit of blood in her cakes.

Maybe it could even be yours, she bets it will taste amazing.

As expected, both of them like the idea of biting you to get a taste of you.

Chica seems a bit too fixated on it.

They're demons, demonic creatures that happen to be haunting your home.

In the corner of your eyes at night you'll see them slink back into the shadows.

Maybe you'll even see the small cupcake Chica sends to watch you.

Both of them would be possessive as they're territorial.

They wants to be your tormentors but they want to do it alone.

Since they've known you it's always been one or the other.

Bonnie tries to lure you in with songs written just for you, a twisted form of mimicry compared to the real Bonnie.

Meanwhile Chica tries to lure you to her with meals she mysteriously prepared in your kitchen.

Everything from pizza to cakes, the smell wafts through rooms and into your nose.

Yet it's all strangely metallic smelling when you look past the tasty smells.

Don't be fooled, when either of them get you close, they'll dig their claws into your flesh and claim you as theirs.

They yearn to bond to you, lapping at your wounds to devour you like prey.

They're monsters, way worse than just nightmares.

Unlike nightmares... you can't escape their terror by waking up.

This is reality.

The haunting songs and smells don't stop.

You can't do anything but hide in your room as the two fight.

They pounce at each other, clawing and growling like wild animals when not trying to lure you to them.

The smell of brimstone pierces your nose as mechanical clicks and clangs rings through your ears.

Being demons, they're immortal.

However, you are not, you are merely mortal.

One of them will take you and your soul by force if they have to.

Sure, hold them off as long as you can.

Soon you'll give into one of them

The question is which one?

Will you follow the bunny's songs and be lured in like a siren?

Or will you follow the scent of food the chicken made like a rat to a trap?

The two could battle it out for seemingly forever...

But you'll fall victim to them at any moment in your life, as they'll follow you and fight until the day you rot just to take you away.

Only then could their quarreling simmer down... and that isn't even guaranteed.

#yandere five nights at freddy's #yandere fnaf #yandere fnaf 4 #yandere nightmare animatronics #yandere nightmare bonnie #yandere nightmare chica

[kimbap-r0ll]

🍎 for Chrollo plz!!!

I hope I did that right😭.

Hi, thank you for the ask! I'll be making the reader gender neutral for this since you didn't specify, hope you like it! He's a bit of a yandere in this one too

Follower Event: Yandere?Chrollo x reader - "Baby, I can kiss you better, what exactly do you see in him?"

Chrollo was doing what he started as a hobby about a month ago. It wasn't as spectacular as stealing from grand museums or burning down buildings owned by the mafia, but it was something he had picked up and started to enjoy.

He was watching you.

You were talking to a friend of yours, one that he was sure you were developing a crush on. The friend was pretty normal, at least in Chrollo's standards, and didn't have any of the charms he thought you would be interested in. You would dive deep into different topics with so much passion but your friend would nod and scroll on his phone. He was pretending to listen to you.

"Hey, do you think someone's watching us?" you asked your friend, who was laughing softly to himself at a funny text he received from another friend of his.

"Huh? Um, no I think you're just being paranoid. It's a safe city, I also don't think there's anything noteworthy for killers to target you for," he shrugged, glancing up at you once before going back to his phone. You looked around the cafe that the two of you were sitting in, glancing at all of the faces around you before your eyes set back on the cup of tea that you were drinking. It was growing cold.

Not only are they beautiful but they also have good intuition, how cute, Chrollo thought to himself. He took a sip of his own drink before going back to reading (or pretending to read to be exact).

"Did you ever have a crush on someone?" you asked your friend, this time inching a little closer to him by placing your elbows on the table. Your friend looked at you like you were crazy and finally set his phone down.

"No, not really. Even if I did like someone it wouldn't be someone that I know from here, I wanna leave the big city," he responded. You chewed the inside of your mouth and nodded quietly.

What do you see in him y/n, Chrollo sighed, you had no idea someone in the cafe would be more than happy to talk to you than the bastard in front of you.

The leader of the troupe was a hopeless romantic, though he would never admit this in front of anyone but Pakunoda. He did create imaginary scenarios of you and him together, either in a cafe or waltzing in a fancy ballroom (likely one that was empty after Shizuku disposed of any dead bodies in there). He often imagined what it would be like to caress your soft skin or to kiss your soft lips. He would write love poems about you before tucking them away in his coat pocket. This was new to him but how he started liking you was a whole different story.

It started with when you two were waiting for some coffee at the same cafe that you were in currently. You two had started talking about Meteor City, and he didn't cut corners, telling you he was a Meteorite. You had nothing to say other than "That's really cool, I've wanted to see the place for myself."

The two of you ended up talking for hours, about literature or if the mysterious Dark Continent existed. He fell in love with your voice, your looks, but most importantly with your personality. He was attracted to the sunny smile you had and the bright atmosphere you carried. If anything, it was like he was able to escape the darkness that had enveloped him for such a long time.

Chrollo was pulled out of your thoughts when he heard chairs scraping against the cold marbled floor. You were going to leave with your friend, awkwardly telling him that you were glad he made the time to have tea with you.

What exactly do you see in him? Chrollo asked himself, frowning as he saw how you looked so eager to talk to your friend but your friend gave no response back. It almost made him angry how nonchalant your friend was being to someone Chrollo thought was so special.

He was going to follow you for a bit longer, maybe he could strike up a conversation with you and whisk you away from the sad love attempt you were in. But until then, he kept thinking of how he could treat you a hundred times better than that friend of yours.

#follower event #anon ask #chrollo #chrollo x reader #chrollo lucilfer #hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh x reader #hxh imagines #hxh scenarios #phantom troupe #phantom troupe x reader #gn!reader

[blissfulraine]

I need fluff/funny in my life...

Maybe like imagine how guys react when Y/n not answering texts only to find out later when she arrives back to find out her phone just died due to forgetting to charge it or playing games on it too long that it died-

Enjoy writing this lmao

sorry it took legit a thousand years to reply to this one but her you go this is based off of bayveres tmnt.

warnings: grammer and spelling mistakes, and angst( mention of death).

-LEO-

he wasn't all to concerned at first with you not texting him back. your a busy person with a busy life, but its now officially 7:34pm and haven't answered a single text message from him. you haven't even read it.

starts by telling himself that you must just be busy walking or still doing things to be able to text so therefore he calls. no answer. he try's again, and still no answer

begins to start span calling and texting you, even using your emergency contact to make sure there was a ring.

mind is racing right now going to absolute worst case scenario.

did you get mugged? are you hurt? are you kidnapped?

blood runs cold at the thought of you dead in an ally way somewhere because of the foot or a random gang.

its 8pm, the time you usually get here, and yet after checking the entirty of the lair, asking around frantically if his brothers, even Splinter has seen you.

after figuring out, no, you were not there he sprints back to his room.

hes throwing on his gear, sheathing katana about to leave but halts right in his track after seeing you, confused eyes and face tilted upwards to meet his frantic gaze.

"Leo, whats wrong?"

bro drops his stuff, as the metal clatters to the floor as he reaches out to you.

your face is met with his hard plastron, heart hammering behind it.

" Y/N, i thought something happens to you, you weren't answering your texts or calls and-" he was cut off by your explanation.

"ooooooohhhhh. i'm sorry i made you worry. my phone hd died because my ( best friends name) wouldnt stop bothering me about this new hobbie they picked up."

the sigh he exhaled as he kissed the crown of your forehead seemed to trail all of that pent up anxiety with it.

"im just happy your here and safe my love."

-RAPH-

hes just working out, sweating up a storm, and thinking about you.

finally, after what felt like an hour, he finished his final rep on working out his fabulous biceps.

walking over to the bench you would always sit, he picked up his towl and whipping is face and neck in one fowl swoop.

speaking of you, weren't you meant to be here by now? you were almost always around when he was working out, even when you were running a bit late from work.

he picks up his phone, looking almost microscopic in his hands, even though it was modified just specifically for his large hands.

8pm. your (place of work) closed an hour ago.

even if you were taking the bus or metro its not that far.

did you walk? he doesn't take you to be stupid, especially with the crime wave wit gangs that have been happening recently.

then he remembers vividly the argument you two had last week; when he had been following you home and asking Donnie to check your location constantly. how you told him rather angerly that you could take care of yourself and how he scoffed.

you wouldn't put yourself in harms way just to prove him wrong would you?

that temper h was so famous for began to bubble in his chest, but an even greater feeling beat it. Fear and guilt.

as he explored the lair, in persute of trying to find you in your most frequent of locations he began thinking.

if you gut hurt out there, it would be all his fault.

looking in the kitchen and the moving his gaze to the dinning room.

the idea of you being hurt made him cringe as those feelings swelled and filled him. the pure grotesque imaginary of you trying to defend yourself from someone twice your size and being hurt in disgusting and morbid ways. maybe even being worse than just hurt.

his tooth pick snapped in half. he looked down at its broken pieces.

chucking them to the trash, not even checking if they made it he makes a dash to his room, heavy footsteps thudding as he went.

he stopped at seeing you placed on his bed plugging your phone into the charging port on his desk.

"oh hey raph," you say to him not looking up.

he runs over to you and smashes his rough lips on yours as your eyes widden in surprise. it was a hot minute before he let go.

"what was that for?" you asked breathless.

" it thought something happend to ya tiger."

you giggle, quirking a brow" i'm fine! Vern and i were talking about some business deals, and so he drove me home after work cause my stinking phone died."

next second Vern passes by the door asking whoever was in the hall where the remote went.

raph kisses you once more " love ya babe."

you give him a slight punch to the arm "love you too big red."

-DONNIE-

working in the lab as per usual, didn't actually realize what time it was till he looked over at the clock. 10:30pm.

his brows furrow, as he looked around for your presence, the couch he set up in the corner didn't seem to have you on it, just an immense amount of blankets and pillows on every surface.

he grabs his phone and texts you. no answer. he assumes your somewhere you cant text or maybe your notifications are off so he calls. again, no answer.

he told himself he would only track you in case of emergency but at this point his mind was panicking.

its so late where could she be? hes running through possible locations as he pulls up your phones GPS log. but theirs nothing showing. a slow chill runs down his spine, under his shell and through his whole body as he realizes your completely off the grids.

he checks the lair but you're nowhere to be found.

fully panicked he begins hunting for his gear and boa in his lab. it causing such a racket you wake up from your nap, as you move the blanket off your head.

"Donnie? what are you doing?" you ask sleepily rubbing under your tired eyes.

he does a full 360 turn, coming to look down at you buried fully under all the blankets. turns out you didn't add to your collection. you were the collection!

" Daring! you scared me, i thought you were still out. because you weren't answering any of my calls" he says rushing over to you an smoothing out your hair as he sat down.

you rolled your eyes at the tall dork.

" Donnie, i told you i was here when i walked in like three hours ago. my phone died and has been charging for that entire time." you finish with a wave of your hand to the desk right next to you, filled wit books, mugs ,and sure enough your phone fully off, on the charger right there.

you giggle at his face "oh." was all he could make out as you burst out laughing, kissing him on the cheek.

"your so goofy."

-MIKEY-

lazily twirling a nunchuck in one hand while reading an old comic book in the other. mikes latest trick was the ability to flip pages with his nunchucks and by gods was he ecstatic to show it to you when you got here.

he looked over at the alarm clock you got for him, an orange one with black and green stripes. it read out 8:45.

his brows furrowed and his smile drooped as his nun chucks expertly came to a halt in his grasp.

picking up his phone he texted you in the most serious manner he could, beginning to worry. it was just simply asking you where you were and when you would be down. a few minutes go by and nothing happens, you don't even read it. so he sends a few more and waits for a reply. again no answer.

he dials your number frantically, and yet after calling twice threes still no response.

refusing to let his mind wander to anywhere dark, he thinks maybe your just here?

sitting up he looked around and called out for you.

"Y/N? you here angel cakes?"

there was no answer from anyone, that was until Leonardo entered his room.

"they're not in here with you?" he asked confused. Mikey shook hsi head no, his eyes wide and panicked as he jumped up, abandoning his newfound talent.

" i thought she was out there?" she should have been her an hour ago dude!" leo nodded to his younger brother who started throwing his gear on.

"did you call her?"

"Yes dude!" he said picking up his second nunchuck from up off the floor. "i called and texted her, and she didnt respond at all!"

leo accnowleged this new information with another nod" ill go see if donnie can track her phone."

"i cant see to find her guys." Donnie states anxiously turing around to face the entire inhabitant of the lair, including Splinter whom sits in the corner silently stroking his beard.

"shes completely off the grid." everyone murmurs and turns to Leo for the next move.

"gear up guys." he says un-sheathing his katana," lets go find Y/N."

as they were all just about to run out, fully geared up they here a small voice.

"guys? where are you going? if you leave now your pizza will get cold." they turn, almost all in unison to see you holding 5 extra large pizza boxes smiling up at them.

mikey is the first to move out of the four as he reaches down placing the pizza on the nearest surface and swooping you up into a bear hug.

" BABE! OH MY GOD! we thought something happens to you and we were about to go try to find you!" you looked at him confused." what do you mean thought something append to me?"

Donnie stepped forwards, explaining how they couldn't contact you or track where your phone was.

" yea i was playing games on my phone while waiting for pizza, and it died cause it took forever."

" oh thank god your safe," mikey sighed ourt swaying back and forth.

" y/N, please tell us if your phone is going to die soon so late at night." Leonardo states heading in the direction of his room." it will save a lot unnecessary stress if we know your not hurt."

( photo of all of the turtles after realizing your not dead)

okay thats all! hope you enjoyed. now, remember to drink plenty of water, eat bot body and soul nourishing foods and get plenty of sleep. ta ta lovleys!

:)

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtle imagine #teenage mutant ninja turtle mutant mayhem #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt 2k16 #tmnt fanart #tmnt au #tmnt crossover #match up

[rhainontheshelves]

Remember, Recover

Member: Bang Chan {Stray Kids} and afab!reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, light smut description

Word Count: 4238

A/N: This is the complete version of a fic I posted back in 2019! Rip It finally passed my writer's uncertainty test so out it goes. Happy reading!- Rhin

     “... How long are you going to stay on my lap?”

     “However long it takes to finish this melody. Deal with it.” I said, plunking out a string of notes on the keyboard. Figuring out a concrete sheet of music was difficult when all I had was some sound clips Chan had come up with years ago. But, nevertheless, I managed to connect them and came up with a pretty good composition. I saved the file with a little “Yay!” and leaned back. 

     Chan groaned as my weight shifted further back on his legs. “Damn (Y/N), how many cheeseburgers did you eat today?”

     “Not as many as you. How many did you order, four?” I smirked.

     “It was only three, excuse me! And they were singles, you can’t blame me for cheating the system and getting three singles for less than a triple.”

     “Only because we’re broke and ordering off the dollar menu,” I said, twisting around to face him, “and two medium fries! Who are you, an unhealthy version of Gaston?”

     “Hey, don’t compare me to that jerk!” Chan tried hard to keep a straight offended face. “And I’m very healthy, thank you very much.”

     A couple moments of silence was enough to break my mask and burst out laughing. Chan’s face was too good not to. He chuckled along with me and stroked my hair as I leaned into his chest, trying to pull myself together. 

     “Wow, I’m tired,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “What time is it?”

     Chan glanced over to the computer. “Midnight on the dot.”

     “We have officially spent five hours in this dumb room.” I got up and grabbed a Pepsi from the minifridge. “Want one?”

     All Chan had to do was hold a hand out for me to toss one to him. Together, we unscrewed the lids and took huge swigs. We were in for a long night, so we needed all the energy we could get. 

     “Let’s take a break.” Chan said, rolling over to the couch and propping his feet up. “My brain is tired from trying to pull feelings and experiences from years ago up for lyrics.”

     I flopped on the couch, thinking of a way I could help out. To be honest, I hadn’t done anything of that nature since I graduated, and that was just about a year ago. The memory was pretty hazy (it was a black-out type of night), so that wouldn’t help out a lot.

     “(Y/N), do you trust me?” Chan asked out of the blue. 

     “What is that supposed to mean?”

     “Well, if this song is truly about sex, wouldn’t we need some moans in the background or something? The good ol’ bed creaks are getting a bit overused in this industry.”

     It took me a minute to process what Chan meant. “Wait… you want me to-”

     “No! Not if you don’t want to,” Chan’s cheeks turned red, “we can always pull audio from porn or something!”

     I looked at my best friend, sighed, and shook my head. “You’re lucky we need to get this track done by tomorrow afternoon,” I got up, turned off the lights, and went into the booth. 

     “Why did you-”

     “So I can still have some dignity by the end of the night,” I said into the microphone. “Can we just get a series and cut it into the song? It’s too tedious to do stuff at exact moments.”

     “That’s fine by me.” Chan affirmed. “Just say so when you’re done.”

     I awkwardly stood in the booth for a bit, trying to figure out the logistics of this. The microphone that was hooked up wasn’t omnidirectional, so getting into the right position for the audio to be captured was a big problem. Also the fact that Chan was here made me extremely nervous. I didn’t know why; we could usually talk for hours about this stuff. Maybe it was because it was for real instead of the usual imaginary scenarios. 

     Pulling up a chair, I sat down in it and carefully reached out toward the mic stand. I found the knob that adjusted the height and brought it down to its lowest position. Then, making myself as comfortable as I could be, I unbuttoned my jeans and slid a hand down. 

     “Any time now, (Y/N).” Chan’s voice boomed. The sudden fracture in the silence scared me and made me lose my start. 

     “Damn it Chan, I was just getting warmed up,” I muttered. “Just starting to get focused.”

     “Oh, sorry.” His voice sounded tiny over the speaker system. 

     “You’re good, just don’t do that again, okay?”

     “Got it.” With that, the static of an open line cut off, leaving me back at square one. 

     I sat there for a bit, trying to bring up a picture in my head that I could jack off to. Nothing in particular was coming to mind, except feeling something hard as I sat on Chan’s lap just a couple minutes ago. I zoned in on that feeling, and started to find something I could associate it with… and then my brain betrayed me. 

     “Hey Chan… do you remember that party we went to a couple years back? You needed to blow off some steam from being cooped up with the guys too long and I needed some relief from college?”

     Static started buzzing again. “Yeah, I remember that. It was a fun night.”

     “I don’t know any other way to say this, but… I can’t get this image of you out of my head… I think we did something that night.”

     “I wouldn’t be surprised if we did. We were pretty drunk.”

     “No, you don’t understand. All I can remember after the sixth shot of whiskey is undoing someone’s belt while they marked me up. Their shirt was red, like that one button-up you have that I like so much.”

     “Oh… that… yeah, that was me.”

     “You remember?” Honestly, I was shocked. I was certain that Chan got even drunker than I did.

     “Yeah, every second. I wasn’t as drunk as you then.”

     “Well, tell me about it then, since I obviously don’t remember.”

     “Um, okay.” There was some hesitation there. I knew Chan well enough to know that this was important to him for some reason; he would have told me about it sooner if it wasn’t.

     “Hey, it’s okay Chan.” I soothed him. “It won’t mess up our friendship.”

     “Are you sure?” his voice was shaky. 

     “I’m absolutely positive.”

     “Well, it started when you pulled me away from the dance floor. Apparently I was grinding on some girl you didn’t like. I could tell you were getting faded, so I didn’t take it too seriously. As you were ranting about it, you started to say peculiar things. Like, “you have no right to look that fine” and “if you had another button undone and your sleeves already rolled up when you picked me up we would have never left the house”, things like that. Obviously I had turned you on and drunk (Y/N) gets really bold and horny. I don’t really remember what you said next, but I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you.”

     I was starting to remember, recalling the atmosphere and how Chan looked that night. That was one of the top times where I just wanted to hop on his dick and ride the night away. I wasn’t proud of it, but it happened. 

     “You backed me up against a wall and started unbuttoning my shirt. I realized where we were going at that point and quickly picked you up and headed towards the nearest room so we could have some privacy. Luckily it was a bedroom and the door was able to be locked. You started working on my belt and I gave you two hickeys on your shoulder. Once that belt was gone, you started undressing and I lost it. Lust just burned through me and you seemed pleased that you brought it on.”

     Chan was slightly caught off guard as whimpers came through the other end of the mic. (Y/N) must be remembering and getting off on that. He couldn’t deny that his mind was roaming back to then as well. 

     “Chan, don’t stop talking. I want to remember everything.” (Y/N) whined.

     Chan could feel the lust creeping up again. It made him cocky; it made him want to hear what (Y/N) had to offer. “Everything?”

     “Everything.”

     “I picked you up and threw you on the bed, trapping you under my body. You pulled me down for another kiss, but I was already there. As we made out, my hands traveled around, We pulled apart for air and I swear you looked like an angel, all out on display for me. You begged for me to do something, anything… so I got on my knees and pulled you forward until I could devour you properly.”

     Chan described the rest of the encounter in graphic detail, and that was more than enough to help me out. By the end of it, I had cummed twice and moaned up a storm. I was confident that I had recorded good material. 

     “Alright, that’s a wrap.” I stated as I buttoned up my jeans. 

     Chan didn’t answer. 

     “Chan?” I called as I exited the room. 

     He wasn’t at the soundboard. The door was wide open though. 

     “Chris?” I called again, sticking my head out of the door.

     No one was there to hear me. 

     Concerned, I picked my phone off of the coffee table and there was a notification for a text - from Chan. 

     Went out to grab some food. I’ll be back soon

     I ended up spending the rest of the night in the studio- without Chan. I cut the audio and put it into the backtrack as best I could. I told myself that he would come back and rearrange it the way he wanted it to be, but around 4:30 AM I started to doubt that. I recorded my parts that were marked on the lyric sheet, but soon I was so exhausted that my voice didn’t sound like mine anymore. The smell I left behind made me so nauseous that I sprayed what seemed like half a can of air freshener all around the studio before crashing on the couch. 

     “... (Y/N)! (Y/N), wake up!” A voice called as they shook my shoulder. 

     “Huh?” My eyes finally registered the light and I put my arm over them. “What time is it?”

     “It is currently 9:30. Where’d Chan go?”

     With that comment, my eyes flew open and I got a good look at who awakened me. It was Jisung, another one of the Stray Kids members I had gotten close with. If Jisung was here… then Chan never came back.

     “He left.” I said bluntly as I sat up and rubbed the sleepiness out of my eyes. 

     “What?” 

     “He left. He went to get food and never came back.”

     “Shit.” Jisung breathed. He whipped out his phone and called someone, presumably another member. “Hey Changbin, did Chan ever come back last night? No? Well, (Y/N) doesn’t know where he is either. Yep- yeah. I will. See ya.” With that, he hung up and ran his fingers through his hair. 

     “He’ll turn up.” I tried to comfort him. “At least you all don’t have anywhere to be today.”

     “I guess.” Jisung sounded really bummed and concerned. “He never does this, not without contacting one of us first.”

     I let Jisung think for a minute before standing up and stretching. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I need to run home and shower and change. Being in here for 11 hours isn’t too good on the hygiene.”

     “When will you get back?”

     “About 30, 45 minutes? Somewhere around there.”

     “Good, because I still need to think about whether I should help you finish this track or not. Judging by those lyrics…” he nodded toward the sheet of paper and grinned, “I don’t think I should be.”

     I turned a dark shade of red before darting out the door. I was too embarrassed about last night to stay in the studio one second longer. God forbid I was there when Jisung listened to what I had so far. I mean, I trusted him, but having him hear bare audio of me moaning was pushing the bar a little bit more than a lot. When effects and vocals and the other layers of the backing was put on over it, I wouldn’t have a problem with people listening, but in the raw form it was in now, it was too intimate.

     As I walked back to my apartment, I mulled over why Chan had left. I wanted to believe that it was for some normal reason, like he was feeling too uncomfortable to stay or he actually went to grab food, but something had distracted him. Maybe he was sleeping at the dorms and nobody had noticed yet, or he was back at my place sleeping. Maybe it was nothing to worry about and he would be back and fixing all of my mistakes when I got back to the studio. But, deep in my heart, I knew it was way more complicated than that. 

    ��The project was put on hold indefinitely until Chan could be found. I looked everywhere with the rest of Stray Kids, checking his most frequented places and even calling one of his relatives that lived in the area. Any place I recalled him liking, I went and searched every nook and cranny.  

     “Yeah, no luck on my end either,” I told Minho on the phone. “He’s dropped off the face of the planet.”

     “Damn! He couldn’t have gone far.” Minho growled. 

     “We should probably stop looking for him.” Jeongin’s voice came through. “It’s Chan. He’s not stupid. He’ll be back before we know it.” 

     I sighed, not wanting to admit that the youngest was right. “I’m still worried about him.”

     “Worrying won’t do us any good at this point. I agree with Jeongin.”

     “Okay. Make sure the others know. I’ll give you any updates if I have any.” With that, I was left alone with my thoughts.

     I wandered around the part of town I had ended up in. Ever since my brain had fully woken up, I had been replaying last night over and over, trying to pick out the point where Chan had dropped out. The frustrating part was, I had absolutely no clue. I had gotten so lost in myself that I had blocked Chan out. Now that we couldn’t find him, I felt extremely guilty. I found a bench to sit on and wait through the wave of fresh emotions. How could I have been so insensitive to his feelings about the situation? I should have sensed them sooner. 

     A cold drop of liquid on the back of my neck brought me into reality again. I watched the pavement turn darker as it started to sprinkle. Watching the rain... wait. 

     I was reminded of a very obscure memory. Chan and I had only known each other for a couple months. We had to meet up to finish a group project for school, and if I remembered right, we had met up in the park behind me. We were a paragraph out from finishing when it started to rain just like this. In a rush to protect our work, Chan pulled me to the cafe across the street. Had he? I couldn’t clearly recall. 

     Shielding my face from the rain, I wandered across the street, looking for a cafe. The other businesses looked so dry and inviting, but I couldn’t stop until I found what I was looking for. 

     Finally, I found a cafe a few blocks over from where I thought it was. By this point I was absolutely soaked, but I didn’t care. The thought of finally finding Chan was giving me a small adrenaline rush. 

     A little tinkling bell greeted me as I walked into the warm cafe. The smell of fresh pastries and coffee made my stomach growl. I had been so preoccupied with the search that I hadn’t eaten all day. 

      “Hello!” A kind voice called from the counter. 

      “Hello!” I responded. Walking up, I started scanning the menu. Now that we had called the search off, it wouldn’t hurt to take a break, right?

     “It’s certainly coming down out there, isn’t it?” the barista asked with a hint of amusement in her voice. 

     “Yes, ma’am. I must be a sight for sore eyes.”

     “You do look a little frazzled. Not the worst I’ve seen these past couple of days, though.”

     “Oh, really?”

     “Yeah. A guy came in late last night totally drunk. My manager took pity on him and got him a hotel room.”

     My breath hitched. “Did he happen to have curly brown hair? A little taller than me, muscular?”

     The barista raised an eyebrow. “Do you know him?”

     “I’m looking for him, actually. If you could tell me which hotel he’s at, I would really appreciate it.”

     “Lemme call my manager real quick.” the barista disappeared into the kitchen for a couple of minutes, then returned with a piece of paper. “Here’s the address and room number. The room’s paid for, so don’t worry about that.” 

     I took the paper from her. “Thank you so much! We’ve been worried about him.”

     “I’m glad someone cares. He was rambling on about letting someone important down. It was really sad.”

     That really concerned me. I had never known Chan to be a talkative or a sad drunk, nevermind the fact that he was drunk in the first place. Whatever he was battling, he really wanted to get away from it. “I would like to order some food and coffee to go. I imagine he’ll be hungry, and to be honest I am as well.”

     The barista’s eyes lit up. “Sure! What would you like?”

     Twenty five minutes later, I approached a local hotel with warm soup and coffee. The rain had stopped, but dark clouds still hung in the sky. It struck me just how late it had become; my phone informed me that it was nearing a quarter past five. The sun would go down soon. 

     The desk attendant looked up at me expectantly as I entered. “Hi, I’m here to visit the person in room 24?” 

     “Okay. You can go on up.” they went back to writing in the notebook they had.

     The layout of this small hotel was confusing, but eventually I found my way up to the second floor and found room 24. I cautiously knocked on the door, listening for any kind of response from the other side. Hearing nothing, I knocked again and said, “I brought some food for you.”

     A faint voice called back, “The door’s unlocked.”

     I sighed in relief, thankful that my best friend was alive and talking. Hauling the food into one arm for a moment, I turned the knob and poked my head into the room.

     It was a cozy little suite. One queen-sized bed, with the typical white duvet. An armchair in vaguely matching upholstery was placed near the window, alongside a circular coffee table. A door suggested either an attached bathroom or a closet. However, the main feature of the room was in bed, looking very sleepy and surprised to see me at his door. 

     “Hey Chris. I have soup and coffee, if you have the stomach for it. I don’t know how long it’s been since you’ve eaten…” I entered and placed the food on the coffee table. 

     The man’s expression was hard to read. There was confusion, like he was wondering how I found him, but there was also apprehension and guilt. The way he curled into himself as I sat next to him on the bed didn’t escape my attention. “Me and the boys looked all day for you. I’m so glad you’re safe.”

     Chan fiddled with his hands, avoiding eye contact.

     “Listen… I’m sorry about last night. It was selfish of me. I understand if we just don’t talk about it again.” 

     Chan’s silence was making me increasingly anxious. Normally, I would have thrown myself at him by now, begging for forgiveness or even a glance in my direction. But this was serious. The possibility of this ruining our friendship was suffocating me to the point of mirroring Chan’s attitude. “If you want me to leave, I can. This must have been emotional for you, I don’t want to make it worse.”

     At that, Chan reached his hand out, placing it in the space between us. LIke he didn’t want me to leave. Like he was telling me to stay. 

     I placed my hand over his, slowly curling my fingers until I was holding his hand. I didn’t dare ask any questions; he needed to work through this for himself. He would talk when he was ready. To distract myself, I looked out the window and watched the sunset through the buildings. 

     Chan buried his face in the crook of my neck. I could feel the remnants of tears on his cheeks and smell the day-old beer on his breath. My free hand slowly came up to run through his unkempt, curly locks in attempts to comfort him. If all he needed was to sit here for the rest of eternity, I would surely do it. 

     “I got hammered after.” Chan said low and rough and soft, like he hadn’t spoken for days and cried instead. 

     “...after?”

     “After we fucked at the party. I don’t know why it suddenly crashed over me, but I couldn’t deal with the fact that I felt like I betrayed and used you. I remember downing three of the highest concentrated beers they had in a row before passing out on the couch.”

     That explained why Chan was so much more hungover than I was. It also explained why he had distanced himself from me- then and now. In the days afterward, I had felt so confused and angry at myself because Chan avoided me at all costs. He wouldn’t answer my texts, he wouldn’t even look at me whenever we bumped into each other. I had to call Changbin to find out an inkling of the reason and proceeded to send a huge apology letter to Chan. Of course, Chan being Chan, he said “No, I should be the one apologizing.” and went back to being my best friend. Now, I realized that I made Chan go through that all over again and I felt extremely guilty. 

     “Chan, I’m so sorry for doing that to you. I was drunk and stupid and-”

     “You were just voicing something you had kept for a long time.” Chan’s soft voice brought my excitement down again. “I used you to satisfy my own needs.”

     “No!” I shook my head vigorously. “No, that’s not it. I know you, Chan. If there wasn’t a desire there, you would have carried me out of there and dropped me at home. There’s something else. Chan, do you- do you like me?”

     There. I had said it. The one question that had been on both of our minds pretty much since the time we met. There were green flags everywhere, and we were forcing ourselves to be oblivious to them out of fear. Our friends would constantly point them out, but we were scared that we would lose each other if we asked. That line we so clearly drew, and I just crossed it. 

     His answer was so quiet, I almost missed it. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

    “Good, because I like you too.”

     The relief that washed over Chan’s face was so freeing. He looked me in the eyes for the first time in what seemed like forever, and his eyes were shining brighter than the moon. Even as I leaned in to kiss him, a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. 

     His lips were a bit chapped, but that was fine with me. Each kiss held a gentleness and a purpose that overrode any uncomfortable feelings. Chan latched his strong arms around me, pulling me closer to him. I smiled and brought my hand up to guide our motions in order to adjust to the closer proximity, but he grabbed my hand and brought it back down, intertwining our fingers. 

     When we stopped to catch our breaths, I was grinning from ear to ear, glad that this conflict was finally over. Glad that we could be happy again. 

Epilogue

     “Are you ever going to finish this, hyung? Didn’t you make a deal with the company over it?” Jisung picked up a piece of paper from off of the table where Chan had dumped out his lyrics portfolio. Half of them weren’t finished, but that was the best place to start when it was time to start working on a new album. 

     Chan furrowed his eyebrows. “Finish what?” 

     “The song you were pulling an all-nighter to make with (Y/N) a couple months ago.”     Realization dawned on Chan, making him sink into his chair. They never finished the fucking song. 

     “I gotta say, you were on some shit when you started writing this-”

     Chan snatched the paper out of the rapper’s hand. “It’s none of your business,” he muttered, turning back to his laptop to hide his embarrassment.

#bang chan scenario #stray kids scenario #bang chan fluff #bang chan angst #this thing is so old i had to edit Woojin out #there was a plan to put full-blown smut in the end section but it didn't feel right #also this posting fulfills my one fic a year quota #see yall next year #no actually i hope i can start writing more and posting more again #i say that a lot but now that i'm more settled i really wanna make it happen #my brainchild

[baziutawrites]

Heavenly

Soft!Xavier Thorpe x Female OC smut

WARNING! If you are under 18 yrs old, do not read this piece. I do not take responsibility for anything if you proceed.

Masterlist is pinned on my blog. Give it a look for me. Can't link it, because tumblr hides my post if I do so.

Six months ago Xavier wouldn't even think about saying something of this sort out loud. But he wanted the very best for Val - and when his visions showed him how good this could make her feel that morning with his mouth and tongue, he felt a bit more confident to suggest to take away some of her senses.

He sat up in his bed, eyes roaming over Val's body laying peacefully beside him, her naked form barely covered with the sheets as she stirred, stretched and opened her eyes ever so slightly, sleep still present in her unfocused gaze. He had a really hard time formulating words, his mind occupied with the vision he just had - a very similar one to the sight that just greeted his eyes.

He felt his dick twitch, the morning hard on hot in between his legs. He felt like he was still in his dream state, her moves exactly like the ones he just saw with his mind's eye. Heat rushed to his face as the images flashed before his eyes again and he could almost hear Val's moans and almost taste her on his lips. His visions had one thing he hated - they were almost like real life. Almost.

"Xavier?" Came her voice, raspy and low with the remnants of slumber. He watched her rub her eyes and shield them from the early morning sunlight that shone across her sleepy features. She was ethereal, he thought, as he hummed in response, shifting so he could wrap his hands around her body, longing for the closeness.

He still could not believe she was there, with him, in his bed, in his arms, repeatedly and willingly coming back to him. For him, to be with him out of all the people she could be with. The way she held herself, how she spoke, how her mind worked, the way she smiled and more, it all made Xavier think how in the hell he got so lucky being that dumb for most of the time they knew each other.

He was so stupid for so long, letting Val repeatedly slip out from his fingers because he convinced himself to believe he didn't stand a chance. That his dreams and visions of her were just mere made up imaginary scenarios of his affection starved mind. What's worse, he made himself pin over Wednesday, a childhood crush, telling himself that it was meant to be this way, that her coming back into his life surely meant something more than just a weird crossing of their life paths again. All this because he didn't think he had any chances with Val to begin with. She intimidated him the very first time they spoke.

And yet, here they were, and he still could not believe the sight that greeted him almost every morning.

"Hi, gorgeous." He smiled, as he brought her close to his chest.

His fingertips were absentmindedly gliding over her curves, learning the texture, memorizing her responses she offered in soft breaths, hot on his neck. They slowly turned into breathy moans, as his lips found hers, connecting in a slow, tender kiss, just to glide down her neck, tasting her skin. Xavier pressed his hard on onto her thigh when her fingers found their way into his hair, grazing his scalp, making him moan into the wet, open mouthed kisses he now planted along her jawline.

"Hey," he whispered, not lifting his head up. He felt his cheeks starting to burn again as he decided to follow his dream visions. If they were true, he would curse himself if he didn't try. "Would you like... um, to have a... a blindfold, maybe?"

The silence that followed made his heart sink into his stomach. Was he too bold? Was it too straightforward? His eyes darted upwards, only to meet Val's playful expression. She raised her eyebrow at him.

"Kinky." She laughed, seeing him turn even redder and she reached to cup his face. "Didn't expect you'd like that."

It didn't miss him how she pressed her thighs together, shifting her hips underneath his dick still pressed against her skin. The mere thought of Xavier asking her to do things she didn't expect him to like was making her pussy ache.

"I'd love you to blindfold me." She breathed, her own skin flushing, the excitement making her shiver.

The sensations that followed her eyes being covered were nothing but wonderful. Xavier's large palms explored every inch of her hot skin, his plump lips following in their wake, leaving wet marks wherever he found a spot that made her moan in pleasure. He took his time, his touches slow and sensual, almost as if he was afraid to take her out of her still sleepy, now dazed state. He took note of every single part of her body that responded to his worship, focusing on them repeatedly until she arched her back and rolled her hips under his weight, his name falling from her lips in quiet whimpers. Her eyesight taken away only made her more in tune with the sensations his skilled fingers provided.

But he wasn't done yet. He remembered his visions showing him how she was falling apart and he would not miss that for the life of him. He ignored his own throbbing cock with much difficulty, as he guided V's body to turn on her stomach, making her lift her hips up, only to focus his tender, feather like touches back up on her body, right underneath her hairline. Her moan was both filled with lust and exasperation, she was now so turned on she was on the verge of sliding her own fingers down in between her folds to relieve the aching need that was growing with his every touch. But his hot lips repeatedly finding her sweet spots all over her back, his long fingers finally gliding in between her thighs to circle the soft skin right underneath her pussy made her melt into his touch, desperately chasing his hands with her crotch.

All this time, he hasn't touched her core at all. It was slowly driving her into insanity, making her head fuzzy and body hotter and hotter with every passing second. And now, as he ghosted the pads of his fingers around her slit, almost touching her where she needed him most, he finally noticed his reward when she gasped and bucked her hips at him slightly.

"Oh god," Xavier's weak voice rang out, his breath hitching in his throat. "You're dripping."

His mind went hazy when he saw the string of her juices stretch down from her puffy, pink pussy lips. He reached his trembling finger out and caught it, bringing it to his mouth and when the taste hit his tongue, he could not help himself anymore. He flopped on his back, mattress dipping under his shoulder blades and without a second thought, brought Val's hips down onto his face, latching his mouth onto her slit, his tongue darting out and parting her folds. The thing is, he didn't expect the amount of slick that flooded his mouth the second he did that. What he didn't expect as well, was the sudden rush of electricity he felt through his body and mind, coming into his very core as he lapped at her juices without a thought in mind, like a starved man would. Her taste was intoxicating.

"Xavier, yes, oh yes, you're so good," her voice was low, sleepiness still lingering around it's edges.

He also didn't expect to cum on the spot, without touching himself, just by Val's cunt gliding over his face and her throaty moans, when she finally got his tongue where she needed it so bad. But there Xavier was, moaning as well, into his girlfriend's pussy as his abdomen spasmed repeatedly with his cock suprting ropes and ropes of seed onto his stomach. His fingers dug desperately into the flesh of her butt, holding her close to his open mouth, filled with her slick, that was dripping down his cheeks, chin and onto his neck. His mind was dazed, unfocused as his body was consumed by the jolts of unexpected pleasure. His visions did not show him he'd be the one to cum first and he cursed himself for not thinking about it beforehand.

However, a newfound determination took over his tired body, as he decided not to let embarrassment take over. His plump lips caught her perky clit and sucked it in between them, latching himself to it as if he was about to perish if he didn't hear her moans again. The way she stiffened, her hands gripping the headboard for dear life, and how her hot thighs started to tremble, he knew he was set for gold.

Her long, loud moans filled the overall quiet air, contrasting with the sleepy early morning aura of his dorm room. She came undone, deep waves of pleasure filling her body as she straightened on top of his face, grabbing his palms that were still gripping her hips with a passion. It allowed Xavier to see Val in all her wonderful, blissful state. And it felt like heaven.

The early morning sun shone it's bright golden rays all over her features, making her look as if the light came from within her. Her face was relaxed completely, mouth open with her eyes closed, blindfold long forgotten somewhere in the bedsheets, was otherworldly to his eyes. Her hair, silk like, draping over her neck and shoulders, looked as if it was made from liquid light, giving her head a saint-like halo. With the angelic music falling from her parted, wet lips in the form of his own name, so beautiful to listen to, he could not believe she was real. He felt dizzy.

And yet, all this contrasted harshly with the fact that her orgasm brought new waves of her slick into his mouth, making him feel almost high - he could taste her again, as she rubbed her hot clit over his slippery face. Her thighs were squeezing the sides of his head all the time she was riding out her orgasm, making him aware, that she was in fact real and she was falling apart on top of him that very moment, because of him and for his eyes to see. And it too made him feel the dizziness get stronger inside of his head. He wished he could take a picture, to make sure this moment could last forever.

Xavier surely brought his sketchbook back to the bed with him right after he got out of the bathroom. With one of his arm wrapped around sleepy Val, making sure she was flush against his chest, he propped the book on his knee and started sketching, graphite scratching the paper quietly as he poured his heart and soul into the drawing of her from just minutes ago. His green eyes kept darting down towards her face and he kept peppering her with light kisses everywhere he could reach without the sketchbook sliding off, making her giggle and repay him with lazy pecks over his neck.

The slow weekends were surely becoming Xavier's favourite part of his stay at Nevermore. And Val could say the very same thing.

#xavier thorpe smut #xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe fanfic #xavier smut #xavier thorpe x oc

[sinisterexaggerator]

Can you please write more Hondo?

Finish what you start

Hondo Ohnaka x Fem! Reader

Summary: Hondo Ohnaka catches you pleasuring yourself in his absence.

Word count: 3k+

Warnings: Masturbation, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, pining, blowjobs.

Notes: I wrote a fanfic like this for Shriv Suurgav and decided I wanted to try the same scenario for Hondo. Cad Bane may be next! Let's make it a series! ;D Shoutout to @allsystemsblue and @downrightembarassing for cheering me on and letting me bounce ideas off them - we all agree Hondo smells fabulous and practices good hygiene.

*This will probably be the last time I can post a fic before moving, but I have another Hondo one shot in the works - stay tuned! ;D

P.S.: I POSTED THIS FROM BATUU (Yes, I waited. I’m literally in line for Smuggler’s Run this very minute and they are talking about Hondo on the comm. 😭😭)

For once, you were bored. Florrum was all fun and games until the ringmaster of this circus abandoned his big top - Hondo Ohnaka had left you stranded by your lonesome in his lair with some dozen Weequay whose names you could not recall. You wandered its dingy corridors, dined on its sumptuous and delicious foods, drank of its rare and expensive beverages, and even sampled the more local fare – the green ooze known as “pirate’s brew” was an acquired taste and your palate preferred lush, full-bodied wine. Luckily for you, there was plenty to go around and then some, yet Ohnaka’s men did not seem all too pleased that you were there.

However, this did not bother you, going so far as to stick your tongue out in disrespect to one burly pirate who would not stop giving you the stink-eye. You were immune, as Hondo had long ago instructed them to give you anything your heart desired, one additional rule being that no harm should come to you as long as you resided within these halls.

Still, that did not mean it was their job to entertain you – that was Hondo’s area of expertise – and currently your jester king had decided it was best to leave you in the dark on his present whereabouts.

No doubt his exploits were dangerous and full of thrills. You were a mite jealous, wondering if one day he might take you along, or, if  on another day he might simply tire of you. He was a fickle lord, and you were his lady  - at least for now, and you were well aware your good fortune might come to a hasty end.

But, in that moment, you found yourself to be missing him. Hondo had been gone two days already and no other being on this dust ball of a planet wanted to give you the time of day.

After imbibing more than your fair share of drink for the evening, you retreated to your quarters – Hondo’s quarters – desiring nothing more than to be held tightly in his arms. You sighed deeply, knowing that you were not to get your way.

As your inebriation caught up to you, you sashayed forward, though the scourge of the galaxy was not here to watch you sway your hips. You fell face first onto the bed for the sake of playing into your own imaginary holodrama; you guessed you must appear to his crew like a forsaken hound waiting for its master to return.

Oh, but that is when you caught his scent, the Weequay’s sweet-smelling pheromones mingling with his cologne. The man was a fop for lack of a better word, his personal hygiene at the top of his priorities list. You were thankful for it; he smelled like dreams made of candy, dark undertones of something more sultry and seductive comingling together with sugar and spice, though you could never put your finger on what exactly it was he liked to wear.

You took a deep inhalation, burying your nose in the blankets and sheets beneath you as you let a dejected noise escape, wishing so badly that it was his crimson coat beneath your groping hands and not his ornate coverlet. Still, even in his absence, his heavenly aroma had roused within you a sleeping giant, one that demanded to be attended to – a sudden, all-encompassing lust that you were afraid would not be quieted lest you do something to ward it off.

But you could not pry yourself free of your plush prison, doomed by the provocative fragrance that had already flooded your nostrils. You flipped your body over to stare at the ceiling, all thoughts replaced by your truant pirate king. His toothy golden smile, the butter smooth intonations of his voice – it was the auditory equivalent of velvet, those sweet nothings he whispered in your ear enough to set your loins on fire.

Just thinking about it had already prompted your body to react as if preparing itself for the man’s admittance. You groaned at your desperation for him, somewhere between annoyed at yourself and in dire need of his patented affections. Instead, you took to hiking up your skirt, your own fingers sliding beneath the hem of your panties -  you were honestly surprised with how wet you already were.

You cursed his name as your writhed gently atop his luxurious bed, not bothering to even lock the door, though you were sure no one would dare disturb you - not that they cared to, anyway; you were positive the rest of Hondo’s men preferred it when you kept to yourself.

You gently massaged your clit, taking your time with yourself, mind focused on the idea of Hondo mounting you, his cock so unbelievably flawless you wished he was there to ram it inside you. He would do anything you asked; he would give it to you any way you might be keen to try, for Ohnaka was not one to skimp on lovemaking as he liked to call it.

You giggled to yourself before it turned into a moan; you were so entranced with your daydreaming that you did not hear the door slide open or the act of your beloved sitting himself down in a chair that was located just adjacent to the bed. Had you noticed, you would have seen the grin etched onto his striated face, Hondo settling in by way of a leg tossed casually over one of the chair’s two arms.

With eyes closed, you bit into your lip, turning your head in your self-sought pleasure to make yourself more comfortable. As you opened them once more you gasped, though you made no other sudden movements, having been caught red-handed by the scoundrel as he carefully scrutinized you with slanted, stormy greys.

“Please, continue,” he stated nonchalantly, though his mood was difficult to determine by his tone.

With your mouth open in shock, you simply stared at him; that was his cue to lean ever so slightly forward, Hondo’s eyes gleaming from beneath rectangular cuts of transparisteel as the grin he wore coiled into something a tad more lascivious.

“What are you tinking about?” he questioned, quickly followed by another query. “Es et me?” Then, he answered himself on the next beat, even as you continued to gaze straight through his goggles into slatey irises. “Of course et es.”

You moved to rise, barely lifting your neck before Hondo interjected a command: “Ap-ap-ap! Stay right dere, my dear. You must finish what you started.”

You gave him your best pout, but he was not convinced to interfere, motioning with a dismissive wave of one hand for you to proceed with touching yourself as he stayed seated before you. Observing that you chose to remain immobile, he had an idea.

“Let me add some reality tu dis fantasy of yours,” he quipped, rising to turn on some music that he favored.

The man began to dance, removing his signature coat one sleeve at a time for it to be tossed haphazardly onto the back of his chair. It was obvious he was making a show of it, putting no real effort into the act of being seductive, though his hands traveled the expanse of his own torso, waist, and hips before he sillily flipped his braids over the edges of his shoulders.

You couldn’t help but to laugh as you kept laying there, Hondo halting his performance abruptly to press a hand to the center of his chest. He scoffed, asking you something in a tone indicative of offense, yet you were sure he was only kidding: “You dare laugh at me? Am I not sexy tu you?”

Your giggling paused, Hondo walking away from you and back toward the seat he had vacated earlier. “Den you entertain me,” he said with finality.

Your lips trembled; he was always so hard to read, the pirate’s true nature still a mystery to you. Presently, you kept your gaze trained on the man as you cried a pathetic sound of longing. He was not impressed, that one leg kicking itself back up as he idly stroked the frills along his jowls.

“Come, my love,” he encouraged you with a sudden change in his disposition, his somewhat confusing demeanor melting away as it was replaced with something softer and more genteel. “Touch yourself for Hondo.”

That was all it took, at once your body’s arousal rekindling as you began to fondle the little nub between your legs.

“Yes, yes, just like dat, little one,” he complimented, his words urging you to refocus your attention.

He watched you for a time, Hondo’s own carnality easily being activated by the study of just how you chose to caress your little cluster of nerve-endings; they were housed between flower petals of flesh and blood, the pirate beginning to feel a twitch down below his beltline.

“Now, imagine my fingers gently exploring de curve of your waist, de … soft tissue of your breasts, hm? Maybe my tongue would like tu explore as well, ah?” he crooned, his voice low and licentious.

The pirate was deliberately working you, even as his own hand came to rest against the outside of his trousers. His cock jumped at the first sign of acknowledgement, as if just as greedy as the minx upon his bed to be stroked and coddled, which was not out of the realm of possibility.

You quivered on his lavish sheets, the fodder with which he was feeding your depravity effortlessly invading your mind’s eye. How you wished he would just shut up and actually touch you, yet you stopped yourself from voicing your sentiments out loud.

“Maybe et would like tu work at suckling dose exquisite tits,” he mused. “Or perhaps et would like tu very, very slowly invade your mouth for a most warm and wet kiss.” He punctuated the last word of his sentence just so, his statement having a questioning lilt, as if he were also curious what he might do should he allow himself access to your pleasing form.

“Hm, yes-” he started, his tone turning a shade darker, “-et might swirl and flitter with yours, plunging far, far down your throat, so deep dat you will never forget de feeling.”

His teasing sent shivers up your arms and down your legs, radiating outward from your core as you wriggled like a pinned insect among folds of deluxe bedding, your body aching for release.

You were so lost in his dirty talk that you failed to notice Hondo unbuckling his belt; it was emblazed with the symbol of his gang, though for now it lay slack to either side as he carefully unbuttoned his trousers to remove his cock from its cloth imprisonment.

“Ah, but remember, I will not be satisfied with just. one. taste,” Hondo reminded you, his long, ring-bedecked fingers beginning to caress the length of his prick as he settled more snugly in his seat.

“I would trade en lips above for lips below,” he whispered throatily, his words a deep rumbling in his chest. The pirate began seeking his own high, eyelids drifting to half-mast as he leisurely thumbed the head of his hardened cock.

Your teeth returned to tug at plump flesh as you ever so slightly quickened your pace, the increasing friction of your fingertips gliding vertically over your throbbing bud causing you to expel a pitiful mewl. You looked over to your king, at once whining your disapproval – you wanted to be the one handling his cock.

Still, the sight only aroused you further, but not as much as the next few utterances that passed beyond the witty thief’s gilded teeth.

“My tongue tracing de folds of your cunt - and ah - you are already so wet, aren’t you?” he asked, though he had not expected any sort of answer from you.

You gave him one anyway, breathing out an airy “yes” which he ignored, but a discerning eye could see the hint of a smirk smugly twitching at the corner of his thin-lipped mouth.

“Et sweeps across your slit, delving inside you. Maybe et tickles, but ah, et feels so good.” He placed his hand more succinctly around his girth, beginning to pump himself by way of an enclosed fist, Hondo deciding to take part in this daydream to the fullest extent.

“Mm, but I pay de most attention tu de little button dat resides at de tippy-tip-top. Dat es your favorite part,” he mused, the visual aid of him eating you out causing you to whine in yearning as you fretted all by your lonesome on his bed.

“I would flick-flick-flick your clit with de utmost precision and care,” he assured you, “lapping up every. bit. of pleasure you so graciously proffer me.” He hummed to himself for a moment, relishing the perfect speed at which he had taken to addressing his own needs.

“Den I would suck et between my lips, continuing tu dine on you as if you were a delicious meal I must consume. And my dear, you are,” he confirmed, as if there had ever been any doubt.

You moaned again as you were close to the brink, your constant rubbing in addition to Hondo’s narration of your masturbation session nearly having worked its magic. You kept your gaze trained on the man and his decidedly pretty dick, pining for it to be snug within your walls. It was as if the scoundrel read your mind, picking up his tale where your imagination had left off.

“Now dat you are so very ready for me, darling, I would take de plunge. Oh, and you take et, so, so well. Every inch es so satisfying, hm?” He subsequently snickered, peering at you from across the way with drowsy eyes.

“Your desire for me es practically palpable, little bird,” he announced despite it being obvious, yet your thoughts did not wander far from the imagery he had placed inside your head even as he playfully derided you.

Hondo picked up his tempo, palming the full breadth of his cock as he envisioned himself steeping his stout prick in and out of you, your depths warm and slippery with your excess.

You had sulkily frowned in agreement, your breath quickening as you approached the edge of your orgasm. Nearly there, your hips gently bucked beneath the soft fabric of your dress, your heart anxious for the pirate to stop narrating and start fucking you until you couldn’t walk straight.

Instead, you were left to your own devices, Hondo apparently close as well as his storytelling capabilities were dwindling, though he still had sense and wits enough about him to weave the next bit of his risqué yarn.

“So slow at first, just a steady en and out, like de ebb and flow of an ocean on some distant, watery planet.” 

“Mmn, mhmm,” was all you had the capacity to say in return.

“I hit all de right angles, for I always do. And you know dis,” he confirmed. “Back and forth, deeper and longer strokes, all de while my deft fingers massage your pretty pearl.”

He beamed at you, his smile brighter than the highly charged particles dispelled at lightspeed off the backs of ion engines, though you were only half cognizant by now of your surroundings.

“And den,” he added simply, “you will cum for me.”

The low notes spoken in that deep baritone, the glint in his glacial grey eyes behind his ever present goggles – you unraveled at the seams as Hondo praised your obedience to his surprisingly well-timed command.

“What a good girl you are,” he concluded.

Delectable mewls escaped your lips in intervals, the air stored inside your lungs expelled in spurts along with them; your hips gyrated gingerly in place of their own volition as you rode the wave of pleasure to its end.

Hondo all the while studied you as he unabashedly continued to guide himself toward the finish line, using the beautiful visual before him to assist him in this process. Then, the Weequay hummed once more; it was a little melody you did not recognize and meant for no one but himself.

You relaxed for all but ten seconds, feeling your own body lose its tension as the breathing of your lover increased its rapidity and fervor; he was about to climax — you refused to let him, not without your aid — you would be damned if you didn’t have your way.

He had his, after all.

You sat up straight, gathering the edges of your skirt so as not to trip as you launched yourself theatrically forward. You tumbled purposefully onto your knees, though making an effort not to bruise yourself, the pirate’s askant eyes expanding before instantaneously contracting. Gold teeth were exposed as he eagerly watched you collect his cock, his upper lip curling outward to add a smidge of something villainous to his expression.

Oh, but it quickly faded from his handsome face as you imbibed his member to the base of its shaft, your tongue running semicircles around raised ribs before you puckered your cheeks to suck greedily to your heart’s content. You sighed languorously at the feeling of it brushing against the back of your throat, murmuring a happy sound as you knew he would not last long.

Hondo’s breath hitched in his lungs before he lifted one hand to fiddle with your hair, mind clouded with buzzing thoughts as he tried to get a handle on his speech.

“So eager,” he muttered, tenderly tracing the curve of your cheek with the back of his index finger. Thick quadriceps tightened, overall the Weequay’s muscles clenching before your mouth finally received the prize it sought.

Hondo’s body slowly unwound itself, decompressing with every pump of semen that shot to the back of your throat, lithe digits remaining to lovingly pet your locks as he gazed down into your eyes — you were staring up at him as you guzzled every last drop he had to give, your muscles working overtime to usher his ejaculate down into your belly for safekeeping.

“And so very thirsty,” he purred, dick still sporadically lurching as you drained him dry. He was not one to tap out, but you were capable of detecting when the man was spent. You skimmed the head of his cock with your tongue for good measure, licking up any that had managed to dribble down.

“You. are. magnificent,” Hondo extolled, failing at first to regain his equilibrium. However, he was not exactly in a hurry, more than willing to sit here a while longer than anticipated.

“You left me,” you puled, kissing the mushroom tip of his alien phallus before you laid it to rest against his spreadeagled thighs. You kissed those, too, fingers traveling over what felt like solid rock, pouting as the pirate gently lifted up both your hands to cradle between his own.

“And for good reason!” Hondo declared with renewed vigor, planting his lips against the center of your palm. Then, he released you, moving to adjust his genitals and to refasten his pants.

“Come, let me tell you a story over a proper drink-” he chuckled, “-see if we can curtail dat insatiable thirst of yours, my dear.”

You accepted his invitation, more than thrilled to keep him company, and, if you played your cards right, you were sure you could convince him for another round – drinks or otherwise.

-----

Reblogs / comments / likes appreciated!

Masterlist

Hondo masterlist

#Hondo Ohnaka #Hondo Ohnaka x Reader #Hondo Ohnaka x You #Hondo #Star Wars #Fanfiction #My writing #one shot #reader request #weequay #pirates #TCW #Clone Wars

[urfavcvnty]

Seeing you again ~

Scenario - You’re bestfriends with madi and she wanted to go out in texas with her friends nick,matt,chris. Wanting to invite you to go with her not knowing chris is you’re highschool ex 😧😜

Warnings 🔞: swearing ig not more tho nd lots of qoutes will be used from movies and shows bc im not a creative person so i steal ideas ✌️

Since madi asked you too get you’re mind off the busy work and stuff you we’re a little stressed you weren’t gonna get anything done but she said not too stressed because im a “quick getting everything done” person. You just put on a simple skims long sleeve top and some blue denim jeans

When you heard a loud honk you knew immediately that it was madi (just pretend everyone has a drivers license) you and madi blasted songs while driving too the restaurant. You guys arrived and we’re searching for the triplets but the thing is you didn’t know who madi was searching for because madi said that you wouldn’t know them. Madi finally found the table and grabbed ur hand and ran right too it.

Wtf

Me and chris both went exchanging dirty looks

“You know eachother?” Madi said confused

“Sadly yes”

I sat next to madi who sat next to nick across matt and i was facing chris

“How funny i dreamed of this exact moment last night” chris said

“Im so flattered that you dreamt of me, haven’t giving you a thought since we broke up” I said

“Really how long was that ago huh like 4 years ago what ur like 17 now” chris said laughing

“I just turned twenty throwing a party this weekend actually” I said

“Great ill bring you a broomstick” chris said serious

“Amazing i’ll send you an invite, you still live a 28 fuckboy lane?” I said returning the same energy

“Wow u remembered you still sleep with boys while being in a relationship?” chris said jokingly

“First of all you know damn well you made that up just so you could break up with me and maybe you should start thinking about changing huh because these looks won’t pull anyone in real life just you’re little hoes from you’re imaginary universe” I said

“Shut up dude you look like a-” chris said with a little anger

Okay get a grip you guys just calm down jesus can’t you guys just be nice for tonight for us” madi said pointing at nick and matt

“Alright let’s get to know each other more.

Im also 20 now ironic isn’t it.” Chris said with a fake smile

“ and i am spectacularly uninterested in knowing anything more about you” y/n said returning a fake smile

“Okay just stfu and eat you’re food chris, y/n what do you wanna order” madi said interupting me

“Ill take the simple burger menu thanks”

Nick wanted to stir up the drama as soon as madi left too go to the restroom

“Ask questions and get too know eachother like not just how are you kinda questions like heavy questions” nick said

“He won’t trust me” i said

“Shoot” i said nodding at him curious for his question

“Okay, how many men have you slept with in these 4 years?” Chris said confidently

“Eight, next” i said grinning

Not going on with a question but just annoyed staring at the window

“I told you” i said looking at nick

“Told him what exactly? That you’re a liar?” Chris said with an annoyed tone

“No that you’re a shit talking fuckboy” i said and just at the time i finished my sentence madi stood next too me ready to leave

“Okay we’re leaving this was not a good idea, have fun with sam and colby but we gotta get going byee’ madi said yanking me off the couch we we’re sitting on

“What do we do now huh not in the mood for work right now” i said calmy not trying too sound angry

We are going clubbing let’s go!!” madi said with fun in her voice

“OKAYYYYY LET’S GET GOING THAN”

And we drank the night away 😜

ALRIGHT THAT WAS IT LMK IF U GUYS WANT MORE STORYS THIS WAS MY FIRST EVERY STORY ALRIGHT SO DON’T COME FOR ME HOPE YOU ENJOYED GOODBYEE

#sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo fanfic #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo

[cassandragoth26]

TITLES(I don't know what to put as the title)

This is something I had done a long time ago asjdajsd (Well, not that long ago, it was in 2022 asjdjasd) Since I like to do things like this (If I have to improve on the editing (Just don't see it with the brightness at 100% please aSDKAKSD) And use it as wallpaper for my phone asjdjasdj (In case anyone wants to use them, I will upload them one by one, the one I made in 2022 and this one from 2024, as a comparison of how much I have improved(?) The other thing is that I made the new one without scenarios because I lost one of those scenarios, and I don't feel like creating another imaginary forest, but it is very likely that I will make a remake of this image every 2 years (I hope that in two years I will have learned to render asjsdjasd). By the way, the style that has many colors is inspired by Dua Lipa and as you know the other one is inspired by Maneskin asjdjas uwu

Next: Malcolm Landgraab

#malcolm landgraab #cassandra goth #wolfgang munch #luna villareal #hugo villareal #yuki behr #jeb harris #darling walsh #the10disasters #sims 4 #sims 4 cc #sims 4 townies #maneskin #dua lipa

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Unpacking all my Aspec micro-labels

(I did kinda, sorta, half-promise to do this a bit ago. I was planning on doing this in time for Asexual Awareness Week. But there was too much to unpack).

Note: I didn’t even know any of theses orientations existed until I was 52 years old, six years ago. This here unpacking is all about me looking back over my life, and saying: “Oh!” very quietly to myself. Included are sample example experiences from my life that have led me to believe these labels fit, with the finer details sanded off.

Aromantic & Apothiromantic: Not feeling romantic attraction, & Repulsed by the idea anyone else being romantically attracted to me.

 I might have ended up romantic neutral (or even demiromantic)  if it weren’t for one particular summer camp session where I was romantically harassed by a boy in the cabin next to mine. I was 12, he was 13. And he would not leave me alone. All the camp counselors thought it was cute.

Until the last day of the session when I finally agreed to kiss him. I went in for a peck. He went in for a French kiss. I slapped him as hard as I could (pretty hard).

This experience did not “make” me aromantic, but I think it is the reason I have the urge to “nope” out at the first hint of romantic overtures (think Roadrunner in a Chuck Jones cartoon).

I’m not repulsed by the idea of anyone else in a romantic relationship, though. If it makes you happy, I’m happy for you.

Aegosexual: Enjoying sexual fantasy & daydreams with imaginary people, while leaving yourself out of the action (the double prefix “a” and “ego” means “Without self”).

I think this is the biggest single reason it took me so long to realize I wasn’t actually straight. I grew up in a culture that told me, as a visibly physically disabled person, imaginary sex was always going to be my only option. So I never stopped to consider that it was actually preferred option.

I will note, though: In all my made-up scenarios, in made-up places, with made-up people, sexual attraction between individuals is never the motivating reason for the action.

Demisexual: Only feeling sexual attraction after a strong emotional bond is formed.

This happened to me once, when I was 15, toward a fellow student that was in all of my classes, and the only other student in my Latin class. I think I did the math at one point, and figured that, during that year, I spent more waking hours with him than with any other single human being. I never told him of my crush.

Alterous: Defined as an attraction “halfway between romantic platonic.”

I think of it as a combined, intense, emotional and intellectual attraction (I’d use “queerplatonic,” since I don’t want any romance -- see above -- but as I understand it, queerplatonic is reserved for describing a type of relationship, not a flavor of attraction).

Until a relatively short time ago, when I learned there was more to “falling in love” than the Romantic/Sexual forms of love validated in our culture, I thought that was an experience I’ve never had. I thought I’d skated through my teenage years unscathed by the right of passage called “first love”. But looking back:

When I was sixteen or seventeen, as an alternative to summer camp, my mother suggested that I invite one of my good friends from high school -- a couple years ahead of me; as I recall, that was the year she graduated -- to stay over for a couple of weeks (also, looking back, I can’t help but wonder if this other girl’s mother was also in on it, as an alternative for both of us). We’d stay up ‘til 2 or 3 in the morning, talking philosophy, and mythology, and storytelling. We’d spend our days painting watercolors, and writing stories, and watching insects in the grass, and taking naps together on the living room rug.

We remained  pen pals for several weeks after that. And then, one day, I got a letter from her that had none of her usual art in the margins, or between the lines. Instead of her usual graceful handwriting, it was written in dense, cramped pencil. And in that letter, she admitted that she was going through a mental and spiritual breakdown, and that she was scared.

Her letter affected me so deeply, it prompted me to leave the religion I was raised in.

Looking back, I think that counts as alterous/queerplatonic: a friendship far deeper than an “ordinary” platonic relationship. I really think that was the first time I was in love, even though I didn’t recognize it.  It wasn’t the last, through the years. But I didn’t recognize those other relationships as full-fledged love, either, until the people were no longer in my life.

Once I did recognize those relationships as “being in love,” I also realized that I was:

Pan- (prefix to all the rest): Potential attraction to anyone, regardless of gender expression (my own definition).

I consider Bi- and Pan- to be almost synonyms, in the same way that “butter” and “goldenrod” are both adjectives for Yellow. Both prefixes mean “attraction to your own and any other gender.”

But in my head, “Bi-” refers to an attraction where a person’s gender expression (Note: this is completely independent of “what’s in their pants”) plays a large part in what makes them attractive. And “Pan-” refers to an attraction where the role of gender expression plays little or no part.     

I’m an AFAB cis woman. But I hardly give a moment’s thought to my own gender expression, much less anyone else’s. I recognize that some people are *chef’s kiss* artistes when it comes to expressing their gender, whatever that may be. But chances are, that’s not going to be what makes me want to be in their circle.

Polyamorous: Relating to relationships with more than one partner, with the knowledge and consent of all the people involved.

I realize this is somewhat rich, considering I’ve never been in an acknowledged, requited, relationship with even one person, much less many. But any time I contemplate my ideal relationship, there’s always a bunch of us in the kitchen.

Also, my favorite scenes in Rom-Com movies are the “Coming home to meet the Wacky Family™,” and being welcomed in to the wider circle.

I also wonder if this is related to my Apothiromantic orientation, and being wary of being the sole focus of a single person’s amorous/emotional attention. I wouldn’t be surprised.

Whew! I think that’s the lot. Am I a Micro-Label Master?  Did I catch them all? 😏

#Long post #asexual #aromantic #micro-labels #queer #my own experience

[evvlevie]

☎️ ANON STORY TIME/ADVICE TIME!! <3333

[ YOU WANT A STORY?? ILL GIVE YOU A STORY!! ]

[ CONTEXT: last anon ask of mine <3 ]

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sorry i had to make it all aesthetic n cute like you do <3

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HOW I MANIFESTED.. BY ACCIDENT. (storytime ver)

alright so for this story, we need context of the beforehand that i didn’t give. (just to help everyone believe me more cause this really did all happen jshshshd) it all began like.. i’d say maybe 4-5 months ago? and i really liked this twitch streamer, not one that big, like around 5K followers at the time with an average of 50-100 viewers that didn’t talk much in chat. i wasn’t that much involved with them and i had barely started to watch them, but i had this appreciation and sort of idolization with them. back then i wasn’t involved with a lot of anything, and barely knew about manifestation or LOA or anything like that. i didn’t believe in a lot of that stuff and was SERIOUSLY LACKING on about everything spiritual.

before i knew it i had fallen in love with their content and began to watch them on the regular, eventually getting myself more involved with them and their stories, and i became sort of a thing over the course of 2-3 months. that’s when i decided to deep dive into their content, watching vods and hyper-analyzing stories with loose ends that were still ongoing. i eventually started posting very very long theories on the not-so-popular discord. eventually after a month or so after that while having all of this going on, i stumbled onto the manifestation place and put an ask in for you (2-3 weeks ago), and when that happened i was more of a thing within the community, the one that posts theories and deep-dives, ykyk.

and over the course of aaaaall that, i had this ‘imaginary scene’ where i would imagine the twitch streamer one day giving me the VIP badge (its a twitch thing that not a lot of people get in the twitch chat of the streamer i was watching) and appreciating me for what i’ve done in the community, and then the chat joking that i was the favourite (a little bit self-fulfilled i know, but i really really enjoyed watching this streamer, and with my v creative mind i couldn’t help but think up a scenario of something i really wanted). recently after i started thinking about that scene more and more, constantly imagining it and wanting it to happen and letting it be a desire of mine, and i could almost feel the excitement of it happening even though it never really happened throughout that. (this is the part that’s important imo which i will explain later) however, sometime recently around when i first sent in that first ask of mine and asked for advice about manifesting and started deep diving into manifesting/trying it out myself, something strange was beginning to happen.

it wasn’t the exact scenario i imagined happening, but the streamer was beginning to notice me more and more and starting to make little comments implying that i was a ‘favourite’, which i never really took note to. sure, i enjoyed watching the clip of them saying that kinda stuff because my thought was “AAAAA my comfort streamer likes me” but like i didn’t see it as anything big, after all i didn’t even have vip.. or at least, that’s what i thought. it began to build up until it was almost every stream that there was a little comment appreciating just .. me. nobody else in the crowd, just me. until, around like.. 3 days ago i think. (i swear i thought it was yesterday or early today but noo)

it was a stream where the streamer was reviewing applications from people that were asking to be unbanned from the streams, just like funny shit ykyk typical stuff. until a topic got up and a streamer made a comment like i mentioned earlier; they were just picking me out of the crowd again. a person in response, somebody who was clearly a bit new, said ‘favouritism’ in chat. now it had been heavily implied before that i was some sort of favourite (even if i hadn’t really seen it as something big cause i only realized recently), but this comment caused the streamer to suddenly just stop and say- “yeah there’s favouritism! you know what-“ and clicked off tab. (keep in mind they have like 9-10K followers now) now, a little bit before this, i had been constantly thinking about that scene.. and something strange that happened was i kept seeing angel numbers over and over and i saw shifting/manifesting relating stuff on my fyp for tt. i didn’t think much of it then but now i realize those were was.. sort of signs, i believe.

anyway, they click off tab and they take a minute to type some things out (we couldn’t see anything, just hear the sounds of keyboard typing). i was.. confused, i almost thought i did something wrong and i hastily made a few “wait what”’s in the chat. they then make a comment of “should’ve done that a long time ago”, and then suddenly, i have it, the vip badge. i’m shocked because i had been persisting and watching their content for like.. 5+ months beforehand and i thought i was just a face in the crowd (i did sort of know i was a thing for posting all those theories/fanart though cause literally nobody else was/is as invested as i am/was in the series in which i made theories/fanart for.). i, of course, then start flipping out in the chat. and suddenly, the whole chat is congratulating me, and a lot of people were making jokes on how i was ‘the favourite’ and that the streamer ‘really had a problem with favouritism’. the whole congratulating thing went on for like 5+ minutes while the streamer had moved on, before the streamer goes “yk what? if we are congratulating _______ (me), like genuinely, then i’d like to do a for real shout out to _______ (me).” they then proceed to go on and tell me how much they appreciated me watching streams and that they knew i’d always be there if something went wrong, etc etc (they say more but it’s more specific to me so i don’t want to say it in fear of getting like, leaked who i am online ykyk) they then thanked me for being ‘so cool’.

and if that doesn’t describe what i have been thinking in my head for so long, then i don’t know what does. but that’s not it. you see, after that day, everything just.. went well for me. plushies that i ordered that weren’t supposed to come until.. way later came that day, and they came with a sticker that just so happened to have a sticker on it.. WITH A CAT. now you’d think that was normal, right? like oh it came with a cat, not a big deal, but i know i’ve never said their name cause in fear of being discovered by them but.. heck it, THEIR NAME IS KAT. AND THE FACT I GOT IT THAT DAY, A LITERAL HOUR OR 30 MINUTES AFTER THAT HAPPENED.. NOT A COINCIDENCE. and they are like themed around cats too like that’s their entire thing. and the fact is i didn’t even order cat plushies, i ordered bat plushies, so i don’t think it’s a coincidence that i just so happened to get a cat sticker 30 minutes to an hour after that happened. also SNOTHER THING, it seemed like the stars aligned for me that day because i, A, couldn’t stop seeing angel numbers again that usually all represented ‘your on the right path’ or ‘the angels are guiding you’ etc etc, and B the vod was deleted of the stream like an hour after it happened. you might think that’s not important, or even bad because i lost the moment of it happening, but no, the vod was deleted because of like.. copyright strike, but ONLY AFTER i got the clip of them vip’ing me.

i shut my case. i think this proves that manifesting is no-way-not-real, and that this actually did happen. now, let’s talk about how i did it.

☎️ HOW I ACTUALLY ACCIDENTALLY MANIFESTED (the signs, how i did it, etc)

~~~

DISCLAIMER!! HOW I DID IT MIGHT NOT WORK FOR YOU, I CANNOT SAY WITH 100% CERTAINTY THAT THE WAY I MANIFESTED IT.. MIGHT NOT MANIFEST SOME THINGS UP FOR YOU. READ THE FIRST BIT OF ADVICE I WRITE, THAT’LL EXPLAIN WHY!

~~~

now, before i start this, i’m going to say manifesting is as easy or as complicated as you want it to be. you want it to be this whole step by step process? sure. you want it to be easy and you blink and it’s done? also sure. we are born with this ability and it’s.. flexible, from my very humble experience. that’s one thing i learned from this, and one thing you can learn, too! anyway let’s actually get into this jshdrggfgf

so, as i said i did this accidentally so i’m still not sure of all the details, but let’s discuss how i did it first. as i mentioned earlier in the story, at one point the scene i created in my head of what i wanted to happen became a.. regular thing. i loved thinking about it so i thought about it all the time. i let myself feel the excitement of having it happening. and that, is what i believed was apart of this manifesting. you see, to me i don’t want manifesting to be that hard, so the way i did it, albeit accidentally, was making up a scene in my head of what i wanted. this was a big first step for me. i then thought about it on the daily, almost as if it was .. my reality in 3D (WHICH IS AMAZING, LIVE IN THE 4D NOT THE 3D). as i said i let myself feel the excitement as if it happened in the 3D and not the 4D (i was a bit of a 3D liver and not a 4D liver, still trying to get all that figured out but we try we try). i believe this is a heavy reason as why i manifested something so big happening. AND.. KEEP IN MIND I WAS DOING ALL OF THIS.. BY ACCIDENT, SO YOU CAN DO IT BY ACCIDENT TOO!! really, they mean it when they say it can be as easy as breathing sometimes. also another piece of advice i heard was to.. try not to think about what your doing in every little detail. i wasn’t thinking about it at all and it worked, so.. maybe it’ll work for you too.

LETS TALK ABT THE SIGNS!! first of all, ANGEL NUMBERS. the angel numbers were a HUGE sign that stuff was happening (if you want to know why that’s another thing but basically it’s like numbers like 111 which have meanings and stuff to em, i like to see them as signs that something is going to happen soon or it’s aftermath of a big thing, which is personally true for me). and thing is.. i was getting them left and right, right before it happened. i remember seeing angel numbers over and over and i was like “..i wonder what this means?” and didn’t pay any mind to it. second of all, the BUILDUP. i mentioned in my story how there was little hints and mentions of me being ‘the favourite’ (which was a small part of my manifestation, being appreciated by the streamer). i personally, like to see this as a sign that some stuff was going to happen because of the scene i had thought of in my head. there’s probably more, but this happened so recently i haven’t had time to think abt it in detail..

~~~

~~~

~~~

ANYWAYY.. man that was longer than i excepted BUT! HOPEFULLY IT HELPS.. at least someone, because keep in mind i was doing all of this.. by accident?? like i didn’t even mean to do like, any of this, so if me, a dumb dumb who hasn’t been to school in 4 weeks, can do it, then you can too!! this is just the beginning of my manifesting stuff, but i thought i’d share it. also this has a lot of my personal stuff and opinions in it so take everything you just read with.. a grain of salt. evie will help keep what i said right LOL

speaking of evie.. i couldnt have done this without your help and stories and motivation, evie!! i know you’ll have a good day and rest of your week if you know what i mean ehehehee <3 hope you enjoyed my little silly story of mine!!

and with that, ☎️ anon out!! <3<3<3<3 byebye!!

YOU ARE THE SWEETEST WHAT🥺😭

here is the context btw

First of all: as aesthetic as me? I love the black and red 🥺❤️ YOU CAN‘T IMAGINE HOW HAPPY I AM FOR YOU AND HOW PROUD THIS MAKES ME OF YOU AND ME BECAUSE SOMEONE CHOSE TO SHARE THIS 💎 ABSOLUTE GEM 💎 ON MY SILLY CUTE LITTLE BLOG 😫🫶🏻 You are right: manifestation is as easy or as hard as you chose it to be. I love that you are living in the 4D, that’s exactly what law of assumption is, and again: congratulations on your success❣️❣️ I‘m gonna pin this on my blog so that this post gets as much attention as I can get you because your story just perfectly sums up how manifestation is supposed to be: quick, easy and natural ❤️ only thing I can add to this, is that 90% of my manifestations appeared in the 3D in the exact same way as yours did right here. I manifested an autograph-Card from my fav YouTubers, for example just by imagining me receiving one. Or I got huge discount codes on their merch because I felt like I wanted one. I love that you are experiencing the absolute easiness of manifestation, that’s amazing 🫶🏻❣️ love you always,

Evie and the ☎️-anon &lt;3

☎️- anons little follow-up-post: look here and then here

#law of assumption #loa #success story #manifesation #manifesting #manifestation technique #law of manifestation #manifestation story #Self concept #affirm and persist #affirmations

[ashen-phoenix]

I'm worried about a lot of things in regards to getting top surgery, I want it, I know it's what's going to be best for me long term. I'm having a lot of thoughts and feelings in regards to my case specifically, but if anyone sees this and has any thoughts, please share.

I think one issue I am having is that I have spent a lot of time learning to love my body, and I do, but I'm worried that this appreciation may be part of what's holding me back, maybe disguising itself as comfort in fleeting moments

I have always struggled with hoarding, I wasn't allowed to have things at one parents house and then was mostly unregulated at the others. I'm finally decluttering, getting rid of things from years and years ago that I don't need, and it's been really hard, but I felt so much better being free of those things months later. I'm worried that my compulsion(?) to keep my breasts may be related to my history with hoarding. When I think about getting top surgery, I often think about how freeing it will be and how much better my life could be, but I also get the same sort of gut wrenching emotional pain as when I was parting with the things I'd hoarded. I'm unsure if this is just some kind of grief?

Is it normal to have an attachment to my breasts and the details of them from learning to love my perceived flaws over time? I worked so hard to love myself and I feel like I'm ruining something I worked so hard for, because what if I get this done and I hate it? I'm never have my body back the way it was, although I know I'm not happy now either

This isn't a high priority for me, but I do wonder about the convenience and security of being able to breast/chest feed if I have children. I don't think I really care about it as a "bonding experience", maybe because I don't really feel connected to that part of me anyway. I'm sure I'm just trying to sabotage myself, but I keep wondering about if I have a baby and there's another formula shortage or something like that, is it selfish to take away that potential safety net for a child I don't/might never have, potentially starving them in this imaginary scenario because I wanted to be comfortable in my body? I know it literally doesn't matter, I know if something happens I'll figure it out.

On a similar note, when I think of breast/chest feeding, I am a bit put off. My body doesn't need to feed a child(who is honestly lucky if it gets made at all). I can hold and feed and bond with a child without making myself suffer, so why do I keep using this as an excuse

I'm worried my husband may not be attracted to me afterwards, he really likes my chest as it is now and was very shocked and seemed uncomfortable when I told him I was considering it and looking for therapists/hrt options/surgeons. He doesn't like hearing about medical procedures, and I think my other (much smaller) surgical scars kind of ick him out (there's more to it, he doesn't say anything bad about them, it's just that thinking about surgery/human insides at all really bothers him)

I'm so afraid my dad is going to see a bill to his insurance for a gender therapist or my top surgery consult and just pull the insurance early. As it is I only have until mid September before my insurance runs out completely. I'm worried my timeline may be impossible, that I've waited so long and one sabotaged myself.

I'm really hoping they'll let me cremate the bits they take off, it's really important to me that I have all my parts, whether they're inside/attached to me or not.

I'm worried about how my body will recover, it generally heals very slowly, I'm so afraid of the surgery itself, and being put under anesthesia, I've never had a surgery this big before and I'm honestly so afraid it might be my last decision, but I'm also afraid that all my fonts not are just cold feet. I got cold feet before my wedding, I still think I should have stood by my decision and waited another year, I think if I had been able to give the time to myself this last year that I had previously given, I would have sorted my gender issues out a lot sooner.

Any advice or support is highly appreciated

#vent blog #chronic illness #disabled #major depressive disorder #mdd #nonbinary #top dysphoria #transgender #top surgery #gender dysphoria #trans ftnb #im so tired #looking for help #advice please #cw dysphoria #marriage advice #nblm

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

So I have been thinking so much about a potential SL rewrite at one point in the future. So I had to write it down.

Just like the ”how I would rewrite violetta” post that I wrote long ago, it may be VERY different if I write it. If you read my Violetta rewrite, it’s almost nothing like the original post.

Season 1

Simón not hiding in the storage. He’s either at a hotel or he’s getting to live with Pedro and Nico right away.

More Sharon and Luna scenes. They seriously only talked in the first episode and then exchanged like 4 sentences every 20th episode since. I think they needed some more.

Tino and Cato do not exist. Sharon finds out the whole Sol Benson is alive due to another reason. I’m thinking Roberto just called her and then just died the day after

Early hints of Yam realizing she’s in love with Jim, although there’s still a long way to go. I think she's sort of feeling it, but not admitting it.

1x40 kiss is still there but bigger consequences. In my Violetta rewrite, I removed the 2x20 kiss entirely because it made me SO MAD, and I instead wrote it like this. But, the 1x40 kiss in SL is another story. It will still be there, but Matteo will face some consequences for that.

Daniela is actually into Luna and wants to make her jealous with Simón. Because it would be funny, no other reason.

Ámbar is less bratty but more creepy. Yeah, it explains itself.

Lumón is better :) Their relationship is mostly like canon but their dating era will be even better because <3

Matteo will not be treated well by me but I will try to give him some good scenes. Maybe.

Delfi and Jazmin gets called out more on filming people without their consent.

Everything will be more fruity. Like, more fruity than it already was.

Adding stuff I didn't write: Yamiro will still be the same, but just like in canon, Yam is sort of ready to break up with him. Maybe even more.

Also the "Jim finding a boyfriend" plot will have a very funny twist. In actuality, I already wrote this, but this time it will be less focus on them and more focus on everything else.

Everything else is either just like canon or just not mentioned if I rewrite it. Or I am unsure, like how I'll do Felicityfornow and how the final episode will end.

Season 2

Roller Jam will have different costumes for some. I mean, the Yin and Yang costume will still be there obviously, but Ámbar and stuff will have different costumes.

Siempre Juntos, we will not have any failed recording where they cry. Because that's the one scene I have to skip because I CAN'T see it. They will get their rehearsal recording (which they OBVIOUSLY recorded). But, this still does not mean they get in.

Less Juliana drama. It's a bit tense when she arrives but it's way less whining.

Much of the Sol Benson plot will be same.

Sharon gets more visions, I wrote, but I more meant flashbacks. But I think at times, she gets some sort of "what if" scenario visions. It's not only that Lili flashback when the fire started, it's also flashbacks of interacting with Bernie, and talking to Sol. Also, some flashbacks of adopting Ámbar and then suddenly getting visions of Ámbar and Luna as younger. Like seeing Luna in the kitchen and suddenly seeing her as little Sol. Or seeing Ámbar in her room and suddenly seeing her 15 years younger, waiting for Sharon to comb her hair.

Amanda... we'll see. I feel like it got so weird with her imaginary boyfriend.

I literally forgot the english word for it so I wrote "Nina won't commit crimes with Gastón's applications" I of course mean she won't commit forgery and identity stealing lol

More clear Yam has a crush on Jim. Like at this point she's in "I know I am in love with her but idk how to admit it to myself". I am thinking on letting some other people guide her during this, particularly Juliana and Mora. It will be kind of "in-between the lines" but you'll know.

Jim also realizing she's not really into boys. Kind of. She's getting close. She's still in comphet.

Ana and Mora being more obvious. And by that I mean very obvious.

"Shipping" videos by Jazmin gets called out, because it's kind of weird to SHIP YOUR FRIENDS ONLINE JAZMIN.

Graduation will be mentioned or even showed. I think that can be interesting. In the show, it seemed like graduation happened while they were in Cancún, so they all missed it ??? But they gotta graduate.

Still very fruity. Obviously.

Simbar will be the same mostly, I liked them in S2.

Luna not competing in 2x80.

People believing Luna's dreams for once. Like she dreams about the future, people should have caught on.

May have other winners in the singing competition. We'll see :-) I just think there could be funnier pairs who both win.

Ámbar being more in shock she burned down the rink. Also, Delfi and Jazmin do not know - I wanna make it more "only Ámbar knows what she has done".

More Lumbar moments :)

Specifically their skate date that canon refused to show us...

Eva and Ada are here, but things will go a bit differently...

Not sure what to do with Adrenaline I always forget they exist

Lutteo will date but not for long

Some hints of Emilia and Ámbar having a thing... <3

OH and some info about everyone's summers before school starts in the beginning of the season. What did Luna and Ámbar do in Cancún all summer?

Lumón will only be friends but there may be some hints there, just like in canon.

Adding: Pelfi does not randomly break up. They never break up in this show at all actually.

Also Yamiro may still date, but it won't at all be the same...

Season 3

Some good closure on Lumón. We'll see how I exactly will do this, but I will.

Gastina will not break up they can handle long distance.

Eric is here, but... he's just here.

Ámbilia hooking up off screen all the time

We get to see some more what they are up to at school. Cause maybe that's not interesting to others but for me it is. I wanna know how the dynamics are now when it's only four of them left. Also how Michel is doing there.

Speaking of that - Michel may be a girl named Michelle. Just because... imagine that. Everything being the same but Michel is a girl.

MORE LUMBAR FOR THE PEOPLE. THE COUSINS NEED THEIR MOMENTS.

Sharon and Luna interact more... they have to talk at the hospital especially. Ámbar and Sharon's scene was amazing, but Luna also really needs to speak to her. Plus, that they interact some more during the season, maybe in confrontation.

Actually we get to see what happened during that one month skip. What did they do? What happened? Tell me!

I for some reason wrote "some hormone juice is spilled when all the boys move in" lmao. But yeah 6 teenagers/young adults living closely together? Stuff goes down. I mean, in canon Luna had that steamy dream about Matteo and then just felt so awkward seeing him immediately at breakfast. Both her and Ámbar will go through some stuff. Ámbar more, I think.

Oh Jim and Yam are DATING now

Seriously I'm gonna have a whole first kiss and love confession and them not telling anyone and everyone figuring it out

Ámbar gets her job back - but honestly that's even if she loses it in the first place this time

Sharon is way more of a threat. Cause like. What did she do in canon? Stalk them? When the adults got arrested, it would be a perfect time to do something to Luna, but she did nothing. Honestly at times Sharon just looked silly in her costumes just staring from a distance.

Benicio is gonna get so much bullied. Of course.

Graduation for the girls! They deserve it <3

Emilia redemption arc. But none for Benicio <3

Some endgames the same but especially one endgame will be different.

Ending of the show different. It's still gonna be at Luna's birthday, but things are different.

Adding: I really wanna try to come up what everyone is studying at uni, because most of them just study at "unknown university" lol.

I also might have some plans for Ramiro. Yam won’t be as mad at him, and when she is, it’s due to other reasons…

Everything unmentioned is, just like I mentioned in the S1 section, either because it's basically just like canon, or I forgot about it rn, or I am unsure what to do with it.

We'll see if I even rewrite SL. And if I do, it may end up nothing like how I wrote it here.

#soy luna

[angeliken]

I grew up very lonely, in a lot of ways, and there are a lot of memories of my childhood, precious memories, that I'm the only one who can keep it.

I always had a love for stories. They didn't had to be true, as long as they were entertaining. I remember taking old scientific books from my grandma's TV hack and reading it out loud, at 5 AM, to my imaginary college students. I remember treating it like it was their school work and telling them how proud I was of their intelligence.

I remember taking all of my dolls, my stuffed animals and making up a few bath towel dolls and sitting them in the garage, and teaching them everything I saw at school. Later, I did the same to my lil sibling and our cousin of the same age.

And I remember, most of all, living in between my books. They were there all of the time, or better yet, I was in them all of my time. I read romances, adventures, sci-fi, ya and terrors. I read scientific magazines and, sometimes, the Bible. I read entire encyclopedias about the ancient Egypt and how their pyramids were built.

But my all time favourite always were the small town settings. Nothing ever beat the whimsical loneliness of a small town, where the streets were quiet and a certain magic made the air still. I read World Of Sofia when I was 9, and I didn't get shit about the philosophy part, but I remember reading again and again the parts where she walked home from school, and where she walked through the trees lining her house.

I read Siren countless times, enchanted by the lake house, and the familiarity of that cold beach small town setting, where everyone knew each other. Twilight, and their eternal grey sky and damp sidewalks, and that scene where Bella takes a blanket to her backyard and falls asleep reading. The Secret Circle, where Cassie moves into this tiny neighborhood in this small island town, where there's literally 12 old, story-filled houses, and a secret keeps it united. The amount of time I spent daydreaming about Cassie being Nick's soulmate and them discovering it in a Halloween night, having a past life ghost scene, like the Once Upon a December dance??? If I counted it, it would make to days.

The Vampire Diaries show was nice and all, but nothing beats Fells Church and this small community, where Elena walks to school, and spends her time chilling in the graveyard. There's barely any cars in those scenes, and a lot of the story is told walking around this tiny town, in those old buildings. The people who lived there, who found the city, still have relevance to explain why things are like that. Everyone has an impact.

I read The Girl Who Chased the Moon more than I could ever count, and my copy shows it. The pages are yellow, the back cover fell a long time ago and there's coffee stains here and there. The last page is held to the book by tape. It lived in my backpack, and in the laundry basket, and in the kitchen, and under the couch, near the spot I liked to lay on the ground to sleep, and it got tossed around in my bed, where it was when I fell asleep reading it. A great part of my own stories started with the MC playing with some kind of bracelet or some old, lived in, loved bedroom. I can't even tell how many times I read the description of Sarah's old room, and how many times I pictured that old house, the messed yard, the hardwood floors and creaking stairs. The clean streets, the gazebo, Julia's house and her beloved kitchen.

Those elements, the streets, the smells in the air, the creaking floors and sidewalks, the graveyards and woods and the way those small towns are actually as much of characters as the main character living on them. The way Twilight wouldn't be the same without old charming Forks. The way everything about a well described, and actually used scenario makes a book a house of its own. Nothing beats it.

I can tell you those small towns are my childhood home way more than any house could ever be.

#the girl who chased the moon #twilight #siren #the secret circle #Sophia's world #small town #bookblr #diary #reading #book world #scenario #writing #writeblr #amazing writing #the vampire diaries #tvd #lj smith #stephenie meyer #sarah addison allen #tricia rayburn #jostein gaarder

[nyadversary]

i think i've talked on here before about how when i was a kid (10-ish) i read a whole bunch of silver age justice league comics, and how they were hilariously, bafflingly stupid, but there's one in particular that sticks in my head because it had i think the worst twist ending i've ever read in my life. this was a long time ago so my memories of it are pretty fuzzy but i think i remember the basic plot. it was like...

so there's a new villain, whose name i wanna say was "the maestro" or something — i'm not much into DC beyond having read silver age justice league so i've no idea if this character ever got used again, apologies if any other writers did something cool with the guy later but anyway. in this, the maestro is a guy who goes around committing robberies while playing music that compels onlookers to dance (it's pre-recorded music, and sounds like normal popular music). the compulsive dancing prevents anyone from being able to stop him, including the justice league, who fail to defeat him while he pulls off several heists. for whatever weird reason they all wind up doing different dances, and commenting on what type of dance they're doing in their dialogue — i remember green arrow saying that he "can't! stop! dancing! this! toy! soldier! march!"

eventually they track the maestro to his lair (i think he had a standard-issue underground villain lair, probably in a cave) and they rush in, confident they can defeat him because they don't hear any music playing. but the maestro catches them off guard and reveals that actually, it was never the music making them dance, but some sort of mind control ray that you actually can't hear. he uses the ray on them and... forces them all into specialized bubble traps designed to prevent them escaping? superman is in a kryptonite bubble, green lantern is in a yellow bubble, you get the idea. he then gloats about how he's defeated the justice league.

so while you're still processing how stupid all of that is (fairly stupid, but typical silver age levels of stupid), you turn the page.

and then it's revealed that the entire thing was a comic within a comic. the actual justice league is sitting around in their base reading the same comic we've just read. none of it was real. it turns out that they've all met to go through their fan mail and they've received a letter from a fan with this comic attached. the letter read something like "dear justice league. big fan of you guys, love your work. however i am really worried because i've realized that there's a hypothetical scenario in which someone could defeat you, and i can't see any way you guys could escape if something like this happened to you. please see attached. write me back i'm very concerned."

if the twist was that this was actually the maestro workshopping an idea he had for taking down the justice league, i'd actually accept it — that's funny — but that isn't the case, there's no reveal at the end. this is legitimately just a fan of theirs who sat down, invented a new type of guy to get in an imaginary beef with the justice league, and then got real worried that the guy he just made up would actually be able to defeat the justice league using a type of mind control ray that makes you dance uncontrollably, another thing he just made up. so he drew the whole thing out as a comic, in loving detail, and sent it in as fan mail. this is utterly deranged and no one comments on it at all. instead the justice league decides this is deserving of a serious, thought-out response so they all sit around and discuss how, actually, they'd totally be able to defeat this completely fictitious supervillain in a fight. i think what they eventually decide is that it definitely wouldn't work because the atom (new member as of an issue or two before this one) can't hear when he's real tiny, so he would have figured out it wasn't the music making him dance, and so they would have gone in to the final showdown prepared. they then draw this out as a comic (actually i think they make wonder woman do it, because She's The Girl and she handles all the "secretary" duties, which includes this bullshit apparently) and send it back to their fan. the... end???

utter madness. i still don't know what to say about any of it

#you could really just write anything back then. #my nyas? #i have english major disease