#this one isn't very good I'll admit but. it's special and fun. to me.

[polter-heist]

Dp x Dc prompt 7

(most likely a limital!amity park)

a feud between Amity Park residents and the Justice League but it's one sided.

any time an Amity Parker goes out of town and ends up in a location where the Justice League gets called or any member gets called, an Amity Parker Will Take Care Of It.

Amity Parkers have dropped-kicked Lex Luther, ganged up on the Joker, punted Mister Mind, and more.

The Justice League and Villains are desperately trying to find out What Their Problem Is for different reasons.

When confronted, the answers vary but a concerning consistency is "If our dead teenage superhero can take care of world-ending threats by himself, we can take care of the little things."

#this one isn't very good I'll admit but. it's special and fun. to me. #the JL probably didn't even *know* about amity #maybe cause of John labelling it as ''Don't Fucking Touch'' #it be really funny if this was how the JL learned about Amity #if we go the ''no mans land Amity'' route then it might be more interesting #also i firmly believe that two of those Amity residents were Sam and Jazz #Sam was at a gala held by the Waynes and one of the rogue gallery decided to fuck around and find out #and before any of the waynes could even disappear to suit up Sam just Went For The Kill #and Jazz? #We Don't Talk About What Jazz Did To The Joker #but anyways *throws this prompt into the void* have at it #polter prompts #dp x dc #dc x dp #dp x dc prompt #dc x dp prompt #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp crossover #danny phantom #amity park #amity park citizens #liminal!Amity Park

[bythepen98]

@zutaramonth Day 3: After all these years ||

I just love the idea of them learning to dance together and being so very cute and awkward about it at first 🥺💕.

Brief backstory:

Although they were busy preparing for the war, they still needed time to have fun and de-stress so a small feast with music and dancing seemed like a good idea. Zuko and Katara were pushed to spend time together by the rest of the Gaang because they've had enough of the weird distance between the two, brought by brewing feelings that both weren't sure about acknowledging yet. At this point, they've already resolved most of their issues and were on track to becoming really good friends until the 'complication' happened.

Feelings can be ass sometimes fr.

Somehow, what started as a one time, peer pressured, clumsy bonding attempt between two hyperaware-of-each-other teenagers ended up lasting longer than expected. Excuses would be made to continue dancing together because once the initial awkwardness has passed, they found that it was actually quite relaxing (especially for two usually hot headed people) just going through the motions and communicating with looks and gentle touches what they had zero courage to say out loud. Both were also restless and couldn't always spend their hours training so dancing felt like fair game. A very pleasant and completely platonic way of passing the time with a good friend, or at least that's what they told themselves.

Then the war ended, feelings were finally acknowledged and returned now that there was enough time to reflect and actually do something about it and time continued to pass. No matter the changes and busy schedules that came with adulthood and bearing the responsibilities of ruling/helping rule a nation, some things remained constant. Though they never broadcasted it, the Gaang knew that Katara and Zuko would sometimes be found at night just swaying in each other's arms while they quietly talked about their day. It became a tradition - their way to bond and reconnect after a busy day. It was also muscle memory at this point and something they would naturally drift to doing when the opportunity arose. If they weren't training, lounging and drinking tea or walking arm in arm along the courtyard for a stroll, they'd be dancing.

Ofc the dances varied. Most of the time it was simple, intimate, and didn't require much energy. It was during festivals and other special events where they'd let loose and swap partners with their friends. They definitely would've taught each other's traditional dances too. Most of the time they stuck to couple dances though.

The two would then make it to their golden years surrounded by friends and family. In this au, Aang, Sokka and Suki are definitely still alive and kicking and they, together with Toph, would reminisc about the good old days and pat themselves in the back for helping get Zuko and Katara together. They would've gotten together eventually anyway but the Gaang just sped up the process and the credit for starting the whole dancing tradition goes to them. Aang isn't afraid to admit that he and whoever he married in this au also partake in said tradition; Sokka and Suki would do so every now and then but they much prefer exchanging swords as their love language; Toph is indifferent and much prefers just sitting back and letting them enjoy themselves.

This is way over due but I'm glad I was able to finish it. Will sadly be the only prompt I'll be able to do for zutara month bc life threw a wrench and made me too busy, though I'm still interested in making the other prompts at a later date. /N

#zutara month 2023 #day 3 #after all these years #zutara #zutara fanart #zuko x katara #zuko fanart #katara fanart #atla #avatar the last airbender #not a writer but I couldn't help including a very brief background that popped while drawing this

[rainydaymiscellaneous]

Gorgeous (Kaz x fem!reader)

Summary: you get very drunk after being kidnapped and admit something to Kaz.

Trigger warnings: implications of SA, drunken antics

Jesper was beyond exasperated with you. For whatever reason you had drank yourself past your typical cut off point and put yourself into a stupor. You kept throwing back drink after drink until he finally cut you off. You had been so strange after one mission where you winded up being held captive. Kaz and Jesper retrieved you and by the time Jesper had found you, Kaz was standing over six bodies and you looked relieved by his presence. Jesper didn't find that odd, no not in Ketterdam. What he did find odd was your newfound avoidance to go home.

Kaz had finally walked through the door and Jesper ran over. "Kaz, thank the saints." He said relieved. "Didn't take you as religious." Kaz said, walking. "Well- not the point. Y/n is drunk-" Alarm bells went off in Kaz's mind. "She's drunk?" He asked. "Yes-" "she's never drunk." Kaz said, his grip tightening around his cane. "I know that. For some reason she's on this drinking binge and-" Kaz walked over to the bar, seeing play with a peanut shell. "Y/n." Kaz said.

"Kazzz!" You said, drawing out his name. Red graced your cheeks and it became glaringly obvious you were three sheets to the wind. Kaz lifted the empty glass in front of you, sniffing it. Whiskey flooded his sense of smell, making him stifle a cough. "I have been having sooo mush fun!" You said, Kaz raising a brow. You leaned towards him, Kaz moving back slightly. "Your eyez are so pretty!" You said, slurring as you did.

Kaz looked at you surprised. You never paid anyone a compliment, in fact you rarely said anything. "Words are secrets to a fools heart" you once said to him. Kaz didn't mind your quiet demeanor. It was what made you deadly.

To Kaz though, you were more than just a pretty face that could kill. You had this special way of making Kaz actually enjoy your presence. To many, you were an infamous figure. To him you were a beautiful storm.

You reached out your index finger, tapping his nose. Jesper was surprised you didn't lose your hand doing that action. "You are soooo cuttteee!" You giggled. No one had ever said he was cute. Deadly? All the time. An idiot? Most of the time that came from Inej when Kaz narrowly avoided death. Cute, however was unheard of as a category to describe him.

He grasped your hand and pulled it down to the table. "Y/n, we should get you home." He said. "Nooo!" You whined. "Why not?" He asked. "I don't wanna be alone!" You said. "You won't be alone, I'll be there." Kaz said. You looked almost... scared at the idea of going home. "Promise?" You muttered. "Yes. Now come on." He said. You nearly hit the floor, stumbling forward as you got up. Kaz gripped your arms to keep you in place. You looked as Jesper with a grin. "See you tomorrow buddy!" You said giving him finger guns. Inej, who just walked in nearly broke down laughing at the sight.

Kaz had to basically herd you out the door like a common sheep dog. You stumbled outside, Kaz finally putting his hand on your waist when you were out of sight of the gang. "Don't let them near me..." you mumbled. Kaz looked at you. "What?" He asked. "The Lions..." you mumbled. "Y/n, we're just going home, they won't find-" "thass how they got me last time" you said.

Kaz now had it click into place. You didn't feel safe at home anymore. Not after the Dime Lions managed to kidnap you. You stopped, Kaz looking over to see your eyes light up. "Puppy!" You said, seeing a stray dog. You rushed over, kneeling to it and petting it behind the ears. "Ohhh you're so sweettt! Whos a good boy! You! You are!" You slurred. Kaz couldn't help but crack a grin at the sight as he walked over to you and the dog. "Thas Kaz. He's gorgeous isn't he?" You "whispered" to the dog. Right now you were so drunk that your sense of volume was broken. What was a whisper to you was basically normal speech to Kaz.

"He is so good to me. Provides me with a job. Food. And I get to look at his pretty face everyday." You said. Kaz's grin grew. "Ah fuck I'm in love aren't I" you realized. Kaz froze. Sure, there was some undeniable chemistry between the two of you but this... this was big.

"You can't tell anyone. Issa secret. Shhhh!" You said to the dog. Kaz swallowed hard, staring at you. "Y/n we should... we should go." He said. You looked over your shoulder. "Kay. Bye doggy!" You said, walking back to Kaz. He couldn't take his eyes off you as you walked. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved you back. It was just telling you that that was the challenge. Plus, with your current level of intoxication, he didn't think it wise to say something you wouldn't remember.

You walked into your apartment, Kaz walking in behind you was you leaned against the doorway to your living room. You took off your boots and Kaz looked around, seeing the overturned chair and clearly moved table. "Did someone break in?" He asked. "Yeah. Lass week when I got kidnapped." You shrugged. Kaz looked at you confused. "You didn't set it back?" He asked. You looked at the chair and frowned, eyes distant. "I shouldn't have let my guard down." You muttered before walking upstairs. Kaz put a hand on the chair. "Leave it" you said, not turning to see him.

He stopped, following you up the stairs and watched you lay down. "Oooooh bad choice, really bad choice!" You said, abruptly getting back up and running to the bathroom. Kaz hesitated but followed you in, pulling back your hair as you threw up.

You groaned. "Drugs are bad, don't do them" you said, leaning back onto your wall behind you. Kaz rose a brow, seeing you eye him. You seemed tired and out of it. You shook your head with a sad laugh. "I muss be seriously fucked up to be hallucinating you" you breathed. He frowned. "I'm not a hallucination." He said. You chuckled. "You can't be real." You said. "What makes you say that?" He asked, looking at you. "Cuz you'd never hold my hair while I throw up. And you wouldn't have followed me home in the firss place." You declared. Kaz opened his mouth but you spoke again "My bess guess is that Jesper actually took me home. My mind juss likes you so much that" you tapped his nose again, him looking down at your finger as you did it "your gorgeous face iz juss what I see."

Kaz didn't understand the drunk logic but it seemed he couldn't convince you. You looked vacantly at the ceiling, sighing. "If you aren't real... then I have some things I wanna get off my chest." You said. "I don't think that's a wise idea-" "Sober me would tell the real you these things anyway. Iss only a matter of time." You said. Kaz hated the idea of you not truly consenting to having information shared with him, but it seemed you were deadset on telling him something.

"I wasn't juss attacked that night." You admitted. Kaz looked at you shocked. He knew there was a reason you wouldn't let Jesper touch you that night. He has tried to comfort you, put an arm around you but you put a blade to his neck with a face of fear the second he touched you. It appeared the only person you were fine with was Kaz. "I was going to be killed. That sick fuck that took me asked for my lass words." You said. Kaz watched you look at him. "I asked you for help." You said, clearer than any other speech during the night. No messups, no slurring. Just brutal honesty that was killing Kaz inside.

You put so much faith in him. In your last moments instead of cursing out the man that tortured you or praying to a random saint, you chose to ask Kaz for help. And it worked. That man, the second he found out you were taken, moved heaven and hell to find you. Jesper had never seen someone so panicked. No one's absence would have riled Kaz up that badly. Jesper knew then and there that Kaz would watch the world burn if it meant you'd be safe in the end.

Kaz held your hand and you looked over, a tear sliding down your face. "I'm so scared Kaz." You whispered. He brushed the tear away as you slowly laid your head in his lap. You cried yourself to sleep that night and that nearly killed him inside to see you like that. He played with your hair to get you to sleep faster, which worked.

As the sun rose, Kaz slowly got up. He went downstairs and set everything back the way it should've been and then he saw something odd out the window. The stray dog from last night had followed you home, sleeping outside your door. Then an idea clicked in his head.

You woke up on the floor, confirming your drunk thought that Kaz from last night wasn't real. However his scent was present in the house, which did confuse you. You heard something downstairs and you quickly snatched a blade from under your sink, rushing downstairs to see Kaz. And a... dog?

Kaz turned to see you with the knife and blinked. "I-I thought I was alone." You breathed. "No, uhm... It appears your friend from last night followed us." He said. There was a dog there with his tail wagging. Friend? You didn't recall a dog at all last night. "I don't remember a dog being present last night." You said. "Well you ran up to him last night." Kaz shrugged. You looked confused as Kaz stepped closer to you, taking the knife from your hand. "You are safe when I am here Y/n." He assured.

It felt like a flicker of a memory from last night. You remembered some sort of conversation. "What uhm.. what did I say last night?" You asked. "You didn't say anything too interesting. I mean, besides calling me gorgeous many times." He said. Your face flushed pink and you cleared your throat. "What should we do with the dog?" You asked. Kaz grinned at your slight embarrassment. "I was thinking you'd keep him. He already seems to like you. Plus it'd alert you to danger." He said. You kneeled to the dog and pet him from behind the ears.

You had that smile. That smile that would come out every so often whenever you thought you weren't being watched. Kaz was one of the lucky few that got to see it every so often. "I think I like that idea." You said. Kaz nodded. You looked past him. "You fixed the kitchen?" You asked. "And changed your locks." He said, handing you a key. You took it, looking at him. "Kaz uhm..." he waited for you to talk. "Why are you being so... nice? I mean... why do all this?" You asked. "Because I don't want you to feel scared in your own home." He said.

You looked down at the dog. There was a sadness in your eyes. "I will always come for you Y/n. If you are in trouble and need me, I will be there." He said. You looked at him and another drunk memory flickered. "I mentioned what happened to me, didn't I?" You asked. Kaz nodded. You sighed, sitting on your couch. "I must've sounded like a child." You said. "Not at all." He said, sitting in a chair next to you. The dog laid his head on your lap. "You should fire me. Tell me to leave Ketterdam." You muttered. "Why would I do that?" He asked. "Because you don't pay me to be scared. You- you don't pay me to get drunk or pay me to have you take me home!" You said.

Kaz frowned. "I pay you because you are good at what you do Y/n." He said. "I was kidnapped and had to have you save me. And I reacted afterwards like a child--" "You were hurt and confused Y/n. It wasn't your fault." He said, looking at you. "Yes. It was." You breathed. Kaz took both of your hands into his. When he slipped off those gloves, you didn't know but you were now holding his hands. His soft, beautiful hands. "It wasn't your fault. It never was. They took you because they knew you were vulnerable to me. If anything, what happened was my fault." He said softly.

You trusted this man with your whole being, body and soul. Right now it felt like he was showing you that he trusted you just as much. You'd follow this man to war, you'd sacrifice everything if it meant he'd be safe. You loved him more than anything. You didn't know how to vocalize that to him. You didn't know if you should vocalize that to him.

"I'm only a block away if you need me. All it takes is you calling my name." He said softly. Your heart was melting at his words. You swallowed hard, staring into his eyes when there was a knock on the door. You and Kaz jumped, Kaz immediately sliding his gloves back on. The dog barked and you hesitantly opened the door to see Jesper.

"Thank the saints. You made it home okay?" He asked. You nodded. "Mm. You should really decorate in here, it's kind of... plain." He said. You rolled your eyes. "What do you want Jesper?" You asked. "Y'know, you're a lot more friendly when you're drunk. Isn't that right Kaz?" Jesper asked. Kaz, who was now standing behind you rolled his eyes as well. "I am here to make sure you got home alright- is that a dog?" Jesper asked, seeing the dog by your leg. "Yes." You sighed. "What's his name?" Jesper asked, kneeling to his level. "He doesn't have one yet." You muttered. "Mm. I think Lev is a good name." He said. You said nothing, watching Jesper pet him.

"Well, you're checked on. Kaz is accounted for. All is right in the world and I can go home." Jesper declared before standing up to leave. "Oh and Y/n, don't think you're living down the whole 'gorgeous' thing. Or the fact that you were basically my best friend for the night." He said. "I'm really wishing I killed you when I got the chance." You said making him roll his eyes before he walked out. You closed the door almost immediately and locked it.

"How has that man not been murdered yet?" You asked. "I ask that question to myself everytime he opens his mouth." Kaz said making you smile. You slowly turned to Kaz. "Thanks for taking care of me." You said softly. He nodded. "Anytime." He said. "Really? Because I was thinking of going on another binge-" "Y/n." He said, rolling his eyes. You chuckled. "I appreciate you, thank you." You said. He nodded, reaching for the door. "Y/n. If you need me, come find me. Don't hesitate to ask." He said. You nodded slowly and watched as he finally left.

The feeling of dread returned soon after. You were alone, again. Not completely though, seeing as you now had a dog. You kneeled to the dog, sighing. "Kaz is a good man. We want him. But..." you pet the dog, looking at him with a sad look.

"We can't have him."

#kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #six of crows

[gaoau]

you'll never resemble a human, so stand up on your claws and kill your own God

theory of the two demons warnings — this is set in the bsd beast universe, so if you havent read/watched that, i do not recommend reading this. theres spoilers and it probably wont make much sense anyway if you dont know what the fucks going on for everyone else that has read beast, have fun word count — 5.5k note — bonus 😝😝

prev.

"have you ever heard about the theory of the two demons?"

"i haven't. what does it say?"

"that to combat a great evil, you need an even greater evil. say, for uprisings against the government, the government can suppress the people with forced disappearances, for example."

"so it's bad against worse?"

"precisely. it cancels out. it reaches a point where evil is just the norm. a demon against another demon; do you get it?"

"i see. like… fighting fire with fire. only a demon can kill a demon."

"yeah, that's… that's a good analogy."

"where did you find this theory? it seems interesting."

"that's not important. i just thought you'd like to know about it."

"why's that?"

"so you don't resent me after i'm dead."

"i'd be surprised if you're actually mortal at all."

"now that's a very cursed thing to say, [Name]."

"my apologies, boss."

[Surname] [Name] is not required for his plans by any means, Dazai knows, but there's a needle of an unnamed feeling pricking him on the back of the head. he sits in Mori's office, reading old newspapers from two or three years ago. it's his latest special interest, so Mori doesn't question it and keeps supplying him with new material. but Mori also questions it, because Dazai doesn't give anything that isn't worth it the time of day. it is an interesting topic, he admits, but it raises his suspicions just as much.

strange murder cases across Japan are not uncommon, what with ability users running wild. he tries not to think much of it. he can't, though, not when Dazai excitedly gasps, "Mori-san! this one could be useful!" as he points to a particular article from Nagoya. spontaneous deaths concentrated in a relatively small radius—likely the work of an ability. an interesting one. one that Dazai knows he doesn't need. one that Dazai hears murmurs of from unilateral memories.

Mori hums, "what is it?" he wonders what could have possibly caught the demon prodigy's eye. but as soon as he glances over to the newspaper and the bold kanji from two years ago, a chill runs down his spine.

"spontaneous deaths, no signs of physical trauma or any diseases, unrelated and irregular victims," Dazai starts listing off. Mori knows this case like the back of his hand. "it's clearly an ability user, wouldn't you agree?" Mori's had his eye on this one for the past two years. "probably a child, too, seeing how erratic they are."

Mori thinks Dazai is aware of a lot more than he's letting on.

"we should fetch them like we did with Q. they might be an ability worth having in the mafia's arsenal."

Mori blinks blankly at the cunning child staring right back into him with an unassuming grin. suggestions of a mind with normal thoughts, those abnormal people wouldn't be able to fathom. because Dazai is not special, however his schemes may play out. he offers him a smile, a bit more strained than he wishes to express. "okay, Dazai-kun, i'll leave that to you." 

and a parallel story comes to life—a story where kids can't cry, but they can pray for their lives.

it's easier to find something when knowing exactly where to look for it. Dazai doesn't waste any time paying a visit to the ruins of a research facility in Nagoya. whatever shall be rebuilt from these remains, he'll make sure it doesn't impact his plans. admittedly, he doesn't know what is waiting for him at the next location on his to-do list. among the rubble and the blood, he finds a stainless steel bracelet. he knows who it belonged to and he knows where to keep it for the sake of repentance.

after his short detour, he makes his way to Shizuoka. he's all smiles and innocence when he speaks to the lady in charge of orphaned children. when he's allowed inside and the woman calls [Name]'s attention, he hears the echo of a gunshot ringing in his ear. he remembers cursed words meant to follow him in every new page.

[Name] is sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall and taking up space as their legs are stretched out. one of their little brothers—Dazai doesn't know which one—sits against them, holding a book. as soon as the woman calls their name, [Name]'s head shoots up. they pat their sibling on the shoulder, chuckling at their childish whining, before approaching their beckoning mother. she introduces the two to one another with a warm grin and promptly leaves them to talk in private.

as they're sitting outside, watching children of all ages play with a ball, Dazai presents them with the cheap bracelet. "do you recognize this?" he prompts them to take it, but they don't budge. they scan the jewelry with their eyes briefly. then they shake their head. Dazai sighs, returning the bracelet to his pocket.

he lets silence settle between them, leaving space for [Name] to ask any questions. without stained walls and dying children, he wonders what this version of [Name] has to say to him. how sharp are their teeth? how deep do they bite? how much do they burn? but they don't look at him as they say, "i don't know who you are or what that bracelet is." they flinch when one of their siblings falls face first on the grass. their eyes are soft, without any trace of fear. "why are you here?"

amiability and [Name] are dissonant, Dazai thinks, but truth stands that the looming cloud of anger clinging to their shoulders doesn't exist here. he considers the many paths he can take them down, between violence and comradery. "listen," he starts, choosing to stand neutral where he knows he shouldn't disrupt, "it's your choice, but the ability you have—" [Name] snaps their neck towards him, "—is very useful, and a lot of less than nice people will come to get you for it." 

the last time [Name] used Mirror Mirage was two years ago. the last person to ever know about it was a man in a lab coat. "i'm past using my ability. it's been long enough." with their family and their life, they hardly feel the need to steal from others anymore. they look Dazai in the eye with a passive stare, harmless, curious, willing. the stare of an older sibling scolding him for acting so childishly.

"about that…" he trails, rising from the bench. he can't see [Name] from his peripheral vision. he knows [Name] has no hostility within them unless he gives them some. "i was told to burn this orphanage down just to get you. but i'm being nice about it." and he won't give them any reason to bare their teeth. he's learned his lesson. he knows better from his own parallel mistakes. "you're a smart kid, aren't you?"

"are you extorting me?"

"not quite, i'm just looking out for you." a chuckle slips from his tongue. there's a fine line between his lies and his benevolence. it seems he cannot change his ways—he can only make them softer.

[Name] purses their lips in thought as they ponder over his words. "will everyone here be safe if i go with you?" they crane their neck to look up at him. he's not that much taller than them, even while standing up, wearing nothing but black, hiding behind his bangs and bandages. he still feels unreachable, too big and too lonely, like he takes up too much space whether he wants to or not.

"you can watch over them yourself," Dazai reassures them. he takes a step and turns to face them, offering them his bandaged hand.

"okay then." without a moment's hesitation, they reach for his fingers. they rise to their feet. "i'll go with you."

"welcome to the Port Mafia, [Name]."

Dazai feels in their hand the moment they realize exactly who he is and where he comes from. they blink owlishly at him as he smiles back without a trace of animosity. [Name] relaxes their muscles, now knowing they've made the correct choice. later that same week, they meet again with the man in the lab coat; the head of the Port Mafia itself.

it's fleeting, [Name] realizes, but it's very much there—the unadulterated, baseless animosity creeping up their legs. when they walk into the training room on their first day, Dazai is waiting for them while leaning against the wall. they see it in his eye as he turns his head to look at them. it's a hollow stare, a bottomless pit of strife, reaching out in echoes from the sobs of a child. his lips curl into a small smile. [Name] feels the hairs on their nape bristling in alarm, like there's a bigger threat looming nearby, but all they can see is Dazai.

and Dazai, with that look in his eyes and that simper on his lips, is not a threat at all.

when he's standing so close to them, when he isn't hiding in the sunlight, he feels much smaller. it's almost as if they could see his hands shaking. it's almost as if they could see the tears wanting to overflow. there's a stirring in their stomach where pain bubbles, purely and innocently. Dazai is so, so far away.

he pushes himself off the wall and stands across from [Name]. stepping closer, he finds it unusual to not see their muscles tense in alarm. then he remembers the usual hasn't been established yet. "those scars…" his sentence dies down as he tastes the words. they feel familiar on his tongue, so he finds a way to flip them upside down. "do you want to die, [Name]?" his eye casts down to their uncovered arms. they look the same.

"i'm sorry?"

a sigh tumbles from his lips. "your scars, those are self-inflicted."

"ah." instinctively, [Name]'s fingers reach up to touch their neck. Dazai doesn't look at them. "there was a time, back in the labs. i've grown out of it." they speak nonchalantly, shrugging their shoulders and acting like craving death was nothing more than a short phase. a little something they tried for fun and stopped once they got bored of it—it doesn't follow them, it doesn't cling to them, it has left them alone because they don't want to die anymore.

"why?"

"what do you mean?"

"why did you want to die?"

he sees how [Name] stops to give it some thought. their eyes flicker down and to the side briefly, then return to him, alive. "i'm not sure. it was just easy."

"those tests they ran on you," he prompts.

"yeah." they blink and something flashes in their eyes. it's unnoticeable, but Dazai can see it clearly. he considers briefly, just briefly, keeping his mouth shut. [Name] continues with an explanation that only makes sense to normal people like themself and Dazai, "living things became trivial."

"and by consequence, so did you."

[Name] nods. it's odd, they think, how easily he understands without them explaining a jumbled mess of forgotten thoughts. maybe it isn't that odd, especially considering he's read their files already. "do you want to die, Dazai-san?" but they see him as soon as their question slips from their tongue.

"yes."

in a quick answer with no hesitation, [Name] sees the innocent boy on the verge of tears. he's gritting his teeth and covering his ears with trembling hands. [Name] grimaces, because the closer they try to step, the smaller he becomes. so scared, so lonely, so vulnerable. they feel sorry for him. they pity him. he feels just like another little sibling from the orphanage, one [Name] could easily hold until his breathing settles down again. but as soon as they blink, he fades away, melting into the shadows where they can't reach. in his stead, they meet Dazai's hollow stare.

[Name]'s fingers twitch on instinct. "can i ask why?" they think, ignoring the bristling hairs on the back of their nape, that Dazai has been standing alone and alienated for far too long.

"some may call me a fool," he answers, voice light and airy, shrugging it off like it's something he's heard a billion times before. but then [Name] feels it again, when he looks them right in the eye, the unnerving animosity trying to drag them down. it's as if he's looking at someone else—looking at words he's heard from the same voice, but not quite the same person. "others," he emphasizes, "may call me a coward."

[Name] recoils. they take a step backwards. that statement—that complaint—was not directed at them, [Name] understands, but it was directly for them.

Dazai lets a chuckle drift into the silence. he recognizes he shouldn't be speaking anymore. he recedes and takes his contempt off [Name] with him. "is that enough of an answer for you?"

"i think… it's your choice." ([Name] tries—wants—to understand.) "whether you want to tell me or not."

they don't bite. "you're a lot more agreeable," Dazai hums. in a world in which he hasn't stolen anything from them, [Name] has no reason to bite back. if he hadn't been so childish, maybe they could have held a conversation like this in the right story.

[Name] contemplates asking for clarification, but they keep their mouth shut as Dazai steps closer. he feels small again. he's a kid. he's nothing but a kid, all over again.

with weightless steps, he stands a few feet away from [Name]. "attack me with all you've got."

Dazai can recite this scene from memory. [Name] hesitates, argues, and he makes sure they understand where their loyalties should lie from the get-go. he's long decided to teach them the same lessons in a different way. their attack is as predictable as the first time; he wastes not a single second striking his leg against their ribcage. as [Name] bounces off the wall, Dazai sighs to himself.

"lesson number one," his voice echoes through the training room, "don't rely on your ability alone." he watches unblinking while [Name] struggles to pick themself up from the floor. "you're gonna need a lot of martial arts training."

[Name] can barely register any of his words when their mouth is overflowing with blood.

Dazai gives them time to stand back up on their feet. quietly, he turns towards the door. "that's all for today." [Name]'s blurry eyes follow him as he begins heading out. his back is so, so small. "the closest infirmary is on the ground floor. same time tomorrow, yeah?" he stops at the door, glancing over his shoulder.

finding support on the wall, [Name] clutches the forming bruise on their side, stumbling in an attempt to stay balanced. their head spins, but they answer, "…yeah, okay…" despite the sickening taste of blood on their tongue.

"i'll use a gun, so be ready."

"…gotcha."

[Name] listens to their own choked breathing and takes a moment to properly stabilize themself. Dazai hears an echo in his brain, voices from the dead he has never heard, but he nonetheless remembers. it haunts him, whether he wants them to or not, because wisdom only has worth when a writer is dead. he takes it upon himself to not stress [Name] out too much. promptly, he exits the training room, leaving the door wide open for [Name] to follow once they gather their bearings again.

they think, while heading for the door, that Dazai is simply a lonely kid drowning in future regrets.

Dazai knows better than anyone—or rather, he's the only who knows—that he cannot interfere where he isn't allowed. the best example of this is [Name]'s natural gravitation towards Chuuya. he lets the years pass, working for things to play out the exact same way, changing the course only where it's needed for his plan. while he's busy throwing a quiet tantrum in a former assassin's apartment, he leaves [Name] in Chuuya's hands.

Nakahara Chuuya has read [Name]'s files—only the most relevant ones, because it would take him a lifetime to even scan through everything that has been documented since the moment of their birth. empathy simmers in his chest in the face of another humane monster built from experiments.

that which resembles a human. resembling humans, all of them, dancing on a chessboard in someone else's pocket.

however smart Mori may be, however much respect he may have for the boss, Chuuya believes leaving a kid with suicidal tendencies to a suicidal bastard is undeniably cruel. [Name] is nothing like Dazai, because they value life, because they don't regret being born, because they don't taunt death in an attempt to free themself. and yet despite knowing they are so, so different from the demon prodigy, there still is something. there is something, and Chuuya doesn't know what, but it's very much there. something in their eyes, something very deep in a parallel mirror; something on the scar on their neck and something in their voice.

something, whatever it is, making [Name] feel horribly similar to Dazai.

Chuuya has seen his friends die time and time again. that's just the way the mafia works. he fears he's going to see [Name] end up being another corpse in a pile of distant memories.

after a strenuous day of training, he offers them a cigarette. the more they take from him, the less they'll follow in Dazai's footsteps—he hopes, at least, because Dazai has a plan. Chuuya doesn't know what it is or why he's so determined to see it come to fruition, but he does know no one is safe. so he leans against the wall, taking another drag, listening as [Name] explains their experience in the research facility. out of curiosity, out of concern.

if there's an input, there's an output.

[Name] shakes ashes off their cigarette. they finish their retelling with a closing thought of, "at some point, the concept of life became trivial, as Dazai-san put it." it sounds natural and it rolls off their tongue with the tone of an older sibling. Chuuya argues that it sounds dissonant; that agreeing with Dazai shouldn't be a willing choice. "i could kill anyone and anything, but i couldn't kill myself. they wouldn't let me."

he sighs heavily, "that explains why you feel so much like that lousy suicidal bastard."

with the way [Name] turns to blink owlishly at him, he'd think he's offended them. their brows furrow in thought for a moment, before they chuckle sardonically. "i think Dazai-san's in a league of his own." as a pained afterthought, they add, "sadly." they cast their gaze down to their shoes, a grimace twisting their face. pity burns on their tongue. "there really isn't anyone out there to feel so much like him."

"hopefully," Chuuya snarls, rolling his eyes, "there really shouldn't be."

"do you hate him that much, Chuuya-san? i know he's a lot to handle, but he's just throwing a tantrum." the laughter that falls from their lips is ironic. they don't mean it. they're at a loss. the cigarette between their fingers slips and bounces off their shoes.

Chuuya clicks his tongue. "he's just a cunning bastard with a plan to fuck everyone over." he flicks his own cigarette off to the side to emphasize his words.

[Name] lets his snarky remark swim into their ears, processing each sound with careful consideration. they stare silently at the floor as they take into account everything the mafia has shown them for the past two years. they're well aware Dazai is always slithering around, a heavy presence looming over everyone's shoulders to make sure everything goes according to plan. they know he's doing something, whatever it might be, and it's very important. that's why he's been gone for over a week already. from where [Name] stands, it simply seems capricious.

"i think he's a little kid," they speak up with a hint of hesitation. a knot in their throat tries to keep them from spitting words a parallel story would set them on fire for. they clear their throat, turning to find Chuuya's eyes. "doesn't he feel like a neglected toddler to you?"

immediately, Chuuya throws his head back and cackles from the core of his chest. he pats [Name]'s shoulder harshly, shaking them in a fit of pure amusement. "ha! that's your best joke so far." he pretends to wipe a tear off his eye. the moment his laughter fades away, a peeved frown pulls his brows down. "that shitty asshole's a demon that's been alive for centuries. i wouldn't waste pity on him." as if it were an unimportant discussion about ants on the ground, Chuuya shrugs his shoulders. he's done with his smoke break and he cares little about sympathy for malicious intelligence.

[Name] watches him head back into the Port Mafia building. the demonic crown Dazai wears weighs on him more and more as the years go by. centuries upon centuries of living in isolation should give a demon like him all the wisdom in the universe, and yet he's nothing but a child. even Chuuya is only a child with issues of his own. they all are. and when kids are scared, some cry, some bite back, and some simply cower in a corner while gritting their teeth.

with a sigh, [Name] crushes their struggling cigarette with the sole of their shoe. they follow after Chuuya once the fire has died.

it's strange, Dazai thinks, and it rattles him for a moment. he only has the memories of what will happen, but he's convinced he can still feel frail bones crushing under the pressure of his foot. the moment he sees [Name] in broad daylight, crouched over in an awfully familiar alleyway, he stops dead in his tracks. his fingers twitch. he almost wishes [Name] would try to hide away in the shadows. he doesn't have to even look past them to know there's a box with three puppies in it.

"what are you doing here, [Name]?"

[Name] cranes their neck back, finding Dazai's eye staring down at them with a blank gaze. "hello, Dazai-san," they greet him normally, because they don't know and they can't guess. they step to the side to let him see the three dying dogs, huddled together for warmth inside a humid box. Dazai blinks. these puppies don't just look frail, they look sick.

"what are you doing?"

[Name] turns back to the box. with one hand, they keep searching for a way to help these dying creatures; the other one offers a sense of comfort—or as much as they can—scratching their heads gently. "i found these guys abandoned here. i was thinking of getting 'em to the vet, they don't look too good." when [Name] removes their hand, one of the puppies stirs. it tries to call out in a faint cry. it barely has the strength to breathe.

"oh." Dazai hums in understanding. he doesn't like dogs. he doesn't care about what happens to these dogs. something is probably eating them from the inside out and he knows for a fact they will not survive a ride to the vet. they're on the verge of death already; [Name], this time, is too late. "yeah, that's a good idea." he doesn't care about what happens to these dogs or to [Name] themself, but he lets them do whatever they want. it is not a dare. it is not a challenge. it's simply him taking a step back.

"do you know of any vets nearby? i can't find anything on my phone."

"…i don't really like dogs so i don't know anything." he lies. he does know. he cannot step back more than this.

it's fleeting, but [Name] feels that same baseless animosity trying to drown them. "i see." they pretend it's fair. they don't pry. with a grimace, they turn again to look at Dazai. "do you think they'll make it? they might be a lost cause."

"you should try."

the longer they consider it, the more pity simmers in their chest. when they scan their eyes over the puppies one more time, they're agitated, struggling to breathe. "i'd rather not put 'em through that… i'll just let 'em pass peacefully." an orange glow surrounds their body as they use Mirror Mirage to steal the dogs' lives from them. painlessly, the three of them grow weaker until they ultimately die.

Dazai glares quietly. he watches with a hollow stare as [Name], with their eyes closed, claps their hands and says a short prayer to the lives they've taken.

"i'll find a place to bury them. excuse me, Dazai-san." picking the box up from the floor, [Name] bows their head to him. he trails his eyes after them while they disappear down the sidewalk.

Mori Ogai knew eventually Dazai would take his place. evil expects evil from others. when he finds [Name]'s hand around his throat, he chuckles. he figures this is exactly why Dazai wanted to take them from their orphanage and bring them into his arsenal. he's not given much choice and lets the children do with him as they see fit.

at age eighteen, Dazai Osamu becomes the Port Mafia's boss.

[Name] doesn't mind the changes in the mafia, especially considering they aided the new boss. there's a hefty weight of unbearable responsibility pressing down on their shoulders. they're aware Dazai isn't their problem, and neither do they feel the need to interfere. he is doing something—[Name] doesn't know what it is or why, but they hope he can accomplish it so he'll finally sit down and breathe. they know better than to meddle. but the duty of an older sibling compels them to at least check in on everyone around them.

(Chuuya isn't content. they've heard all of his complaints again and again over cigarettes and drinks. he says he doesn't blame them for helping Dazai out in taking Mori's head. they hardly believe him.)

Dazai calls them into his office. something feels off when they step inside, bowing as per usual, speaking politely like they did with Mori. he's leaning back on his chair and reading a book. the cover is worn, but they can make out the characters for war and crime. the look in his eye darkens considerably as he lets it flutter shut before dropping it in his trash bin.

he leans into his desk and towards [Name], an empty smile curling his lips. "i have a task for you, [Name]." he gathers documents scattered around, brushing off a paper airplane that falls off the edge. [Name] takes them from his hand with a nod. "i'd like some information on this orphanage."

"of course, boss."

they bow one more time to excuse themself. Dazai considers letting them go with their task, but curiosity gets the best of him. he can't keep his mouth shut. "say, [Name]," he starts. [Name] stands up straight, listening attentively. "have you ever heard about the theory of the two demons?"

[Name] blinks, brows rising. it doesn't ring a bell. "i haven't. what does it say?" Dazai knows it doesn't ring a bell.

"that to combat a great evil, you need an even greater evil." it's taken him years to understand what this theory entails. it's taken him memories that do not belong to him to wrap his head around nonsense such as this. the best experience comes first-hand. "say, for uprisings against the government, the government can suppress the people with forced disappearances, for example." he cannot pretend to laugh at this anymore.

"so it's bad against worse?"

"precisely." Dazai snaps his fingers. there's a childlike ring in his voice, like he's happy to finally hold a conversation with the [Name] he's known. "it cancels out. it reaches a point where evil is just the norm. a demon against another demon; do you get it?"

"i see. like… fighting fire with fire." they're close. "only a demon can kill a demon."

like saying long time no see to someone he's supposed to have never met. like stabbing his own leg for someone he knows doesn't have the choice to stray. like offering lies to someone who cursed him in a different story. like babbling words that are not his. "yeah, that's… that's a good analogy." like a corpse smiling back at him. (like animal blood staining his shoes.)

"where did you find this theory? it seems interesting."

Dazai glances at the trash bin only briefly. "that's not important." [Name] doesn't catch on. "i just thought you'd like to know about it."

"why's that?"

"so you don't resent me after i'm dead." he's always known they aren't anything like him.

[Name] lets an innocent chuckle slip, "i'd be surprised if you're actually mortal at all."

"now that's a very cursed thing to say, [Name]." he offers them a smile. it's the smile of a child, innocent and ignorant. it's heavy.

"my apologies, boss."

Nakajima Atsushi is a mellow boy. it doesn't take a genius to realize he wasn't as lucky as [Name] was when drawing straws in the orphanage lottery. he's been blessed with a powerful ability, but he's also been cursed to never tame it. Dazai seems to have been prepared for this inconvenience since the day he was born. [Name] considers that's probably exactly the case.

they analyze the collar Dazai has given them, before their eyes fall on Atsushi. he's mellow and he's scared. he sits quietly on the floor, hugging his knees close to his chest to make himself small, hiding his face in search for safety. [Name] crouches by him, wearing the same gentle simper they used for their youngest siblings.

"i'm sorry about this, Atsushi-kun," they speak softly, careful not to make unnecessary loud noises, "but Dazai-san said it's to keep your ability in check."

"i know. i understand. it's okay." he lifts his head up only slightly. he meets [Name]'s pitying eyes.

they frown. the theory of the two demons states that, in order to take down a great evil, one requires a greater evil; [Name] thinks this is what Dazai meant when introducing them to such a wicked theory. a sigh tumbles from their lips, "it's not okay, but it's necessary." it burns on their tongue, rotten words they should swallow.

they purse their lips and clasp the collar around Atsushi's neck. somehow, they wince harder than him.

Dazai Osamu has completed his plan.

he hits the ground, blood splattering and staining the ground a crimson red, because even in death, Dazai can't keep himself from being a nuisance. his body twitches as the last remnants of life slip away from him.  it's unexpected—not that he managed to fulfill his own goals, but the way he chooses to celebrate. in the moment, [Name] thought their words were ironic. as they catch a glimpse through the corner of their eye, they think they spoke too much.

they freeze, shoulders taut. with wide eyes, they find Chuuya's glare across from them, seemingly just as perplexed. both turn towards the wall of windows; neither dare take a step closer to confirm their suspicions.

"…Chuuya-san," [Name] speaks up with a hesitant tone. Chuuya doesn't answer. "Chuuya-san, was…" their voice trails off, unsure of what to say in the face of suicide. "Chuuya-san, was that Dazai-san?" by the time they manage a coherent sentence, Chuuya is no longer by their side.

[Name] watches from up high in an empty hallway. from this height, Dazai's bleeding body is nothing more than an ant out of line. they sigh heavily, eyes closed. they clap their hands together and say a short prayer for the life that now sleeps forever in solitude.

—あごす (agosu) • 2023

#theory of the two demons #bungou stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya nakahara #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #nakajima atsushi #mori ougai #bsd beast #bungou stray dogs beast

[leilani-lily]

~Oh Deer~ (Chapter 5)

I'll admit, I had this finished a while ago, but couldn't post until now. I have a confession to make... my long term boyfriend of 6 years split with me a couple days ago. And it's been... hard, to say the least. I'm really hoping this wont deter me from continuing to write (especially since this story is kinda romantic, but also isn't? There's deep feelings involved xD) I hope maybe writing can maybe help me as it serves as a distraction? I honestly don't know... All I can ask for is patience as I deal with this. If I find I need a break I'll be sure to let you guys know. But I guess for now, please keep me in your thoughts if you can. Or if anyone wants to swap stories I'm more than happy to share. ꨄ But ok. Enough sadness. This chapter was a joy to write before all the bs happened. I hope it can make you smile! And as always, please feel free to comment your thoughts! SYNOPSIS: AroAce! Alastor x Chef!Singer! Reader. You settle into hotel life, and whip up Alastor's fave dish! But some drama ensues when you get a little too friendly with a certain Spider Demon~ Word Count: 4.4 K Chapter under the cut! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You had developed quite a routine here during your time at the hotel, and you certainly found your days a lot busier than you had intended.

Your morning coffee with Alastor that usually blended into breakfast, then joining him in his tower for his broadcasts. He’d always pour two glasses of rye whisky and sit with you, asking for your thoughts afterwards. You’d discuss what you liked and didn’t like, and were surprised to learn he took criticism well (other than the occasional eye twitch). You’d bounce off new topics for future shows together before wrapping up and heading back down to the kitchen for the lunch rush.

After lunch was usually when Charlie would want to round everybody up. Either discussing how to make the hotel more liveable, how to recruit more sinners, or various exercises to improve everyone’s character. Sometimes these meetings were very boring and you’d have to pinch yourself constantly to stay awake. But for the most part they were fun, and you found yourself actually enjoying spending time with everyone. Especially goofing around with Angel and Husk, which usually resulted in Vaggie snapping at you all as you choke back laughter. Sometimes you would catch Alastor watching you with an unreadable expression, but you didn’t think anything of it. 

When that would wrap up, it was time to whip up dinner. You managed to figure out everyone’s favourite foods, and every Friday you decided you’d rotate through and make someone’s special  dish for them. Everyone enjoyed Friday dinners, always trying to guess what everyone liked, make bets on who was next, and were especially pleased if it was their night. It wasn’t much, but their praise always made you secretly feel warm and bubbly inside. 

Finally, after cleaning everything up and ending your shift, you’d have some spare time. Depending on how the day went, you would either read and have a quiet night to yourself, or just completely pass out straight away. 

Before you knew it, a month had flown before your eyes; bringing you into the present.

You knew you had no reason to be so nervous. Angel had loved his lasagna dish last week, and previously Charlie loved the pizza you had made (even if others had picked off the pineapple in disgust). You had proven you were a good chef since working here. But this Friday meal in particular… this one was different. It was Alastor’s. Your closest friend. And you knew just how important this particular meal was. It wasn’t just a dish, it was a memory. A way to remember his mother, and you had learned very quickly just how much she meant to him. 

Your heart was fluttering nervously as you put the jambalaya out on the large dining table. No one was there yet, but you could hear the chitter of excited demons coming closer to you, so you knew they were on their way. You always tried to make Friday’s dinner special, it was the one meal where you all sat and ate together. Kind of like a little family. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, your heart fluttering warmly at the thought. You went back to the kitchen to grab the cheddar biscuits, your mind wandering back to Alastor. You shouldn't be overthinking this, it’s just a stupid dinner. Did his opinion really matter that much to you?

You re-enter the dining room, and your eyes immediately locked with the demon in question. Alastor’s smile seemed to brighten the moment he saw you, but his smile only made your hands sweaty.

…… Yes, yes his opinion really did matter that much. You really wanted to make a good impression. 

“Ooooh and ya baked fresh biscuits??” Angel had zipped up beside you, eyeing the plate of goodies in your hands, “ya really know how ta spoil a demon Baby Cakes!” His fingers danced over a biscuit, causing you to snap out of your hold with Alastor and give Angel a quick slap on the wrist. He zipped his hand away in mock horror, making you snort a moment.

“You know the rules; no eating ‘till everyone’s here,” You scold him, but you can’t help but smile; you could never really be angry with him. Angel groaned dramatically, hugging himself with his four arms.

“You’re a cruel mistress y/n; makin’ a cutie like me practically starve to death! Jus’ look at me! I’m witherin’ away!” he leans up against you, arching his back as his full weight pressed on you. You let out a single laugh as you tried to maintain your hold on the plate and not fall over. He continued to groan weakly as his one arm grasped the air above him and another flopped over his eyes. 

Wow. Someone give this guy an award. No wonder he was in show business. 

You laugh again at the dramatics and roll your eyes. Finally, you sighed and grabbed a biscuit, offering it to the Spider Demon. Angel peeked over and immediately lit up, grabbed it eagerly before standing up straight, miraculously recovering from his ‘near death’. He took a deep whiff of the warm bread before smiling back at you. 

“Yarra real doll toots~” he gives you a flirty wink to which you shake your head in amusement. Always the charmer this one. 

“Yeah yeah, well, just don’t tell the others. Or else they might think you’re my favourite~!” You swing your hips to him and give him a playful hip bump, winking right back. He laughed as the nudge pushed him to the side, using the momentum to walk to his seat. But as he sauntered away, he looked back and grinned mischievously.

“Well maybe they should~!” he called back, doing a little suggestive shoulder shimmy and wiggling his eyebrows. You couldn’t help your snort. Cheeky thing. 

You knew it was all in good fun; teasing and play-flirting had become your thing. He was like the gal-pal you had never had since coming to Hell, and you could tell he was happy to have a girlie here at the hotel. You knew his real bestie was some demon named Cherri (which he INSISTED you all had to go out one night), but having another chica just a couple rooms down from his own was fun and convenient. And you were happy to be that friend for him if it meant slumber parties and beauty routines. 

You felt someone’s eyes on you, and you snapped out of your bubbly thoughts. Alastor was standing in the same spot he was before, not having moved an inch. He was still smiling, but this time it felt a little more strained. More forced. And his eye twitched ever so slightly. You also noticed his grip tight around his microphone. He caught you looking at him and immediately turned away, beginning to walk back to his seat with an unreadable expression. 

… That was weird. 

Before you could even begin to process, the rest of the gang entered the room. They all gave you a greeting in their own quirky ways as they arrived and made their way to their seats. Angel shoved the rest of the biscuit into his mouth to hide any evidence and happily trotted over to Husk. You smiled happily at the arrival of your comrades and set the tray of bread down on the table. Everyone looked at the spread before them and chittered excitedly, impressed with the effort you had put into tonight’s dinner. 

As everyone sat down, you quickly made your way to your seat beside Angel. Before sitting down, you cleared your throat a moment to get everyone’s attention. As the happy chatter died down, you began to speak.

“First off, I’d like to thank everyone for joining in today’s special dinner. Today’s meal is inspired by our very own Facility Manager, Alastor.” Everyone clapped politely and Charlie even gave a small whoop of encouragement. Alastor sat up proudly from his seat at the head of the table, loving the attention he was getting. 

“I’ll admit, I was a bit intimidated with tackling this particular dish, as we’ve all heard him boast about his mother’s recipe.” There were a couple chuckles scattered around the table, everyone very aware of how much he spoke of it. Husk in particular rolled his eyes and muttered quietly in disdain.

“I realize I’ll probably never meet up to her standards,” you look back at Alastor and give a sheepish smile, “but I sincerely hope it’s to your liking.” Alastors smile widened ever so slightly, his hooded gaze softening at your words. 

“My dear,” he marveled, his eyes never leaving yours, “the fact that you were kind enough to take the time to prepare it with me in mind already makes it wonderful.” You felt your hand press up to your chest, your fist curling up tightly near your heart. Alastor always knew what to say to make you feel better. He could be really gentle when he wanted to be. 

“Yea, and not only for ol’ Smiles ‘ere,” Angel spoke up, making you look down at him, “But you’ve made some bitchin’ good meals fer all of us.” he gestured to the crowd, gaining various murmurs of agreement and praise. You looked at everyone and their smiling faces and could feel your chest tightening. 

“Seriously, Sugar, ya freakin’ amazing.” Angel continued, giving you a warm smile. He suddenly grabbed onto his glass and raised it high, giving everyone a cocky grin. “Let’s hear it for y/n ya filthy sinnars!” 

Before you could comprehend, everyone had raised their glasses and gave a cheer of encouragement. You looked out to everyone and their genuine happiness and support, at a loss for words. You had organized all of this simply because you wanted to, but you had to admit, being recognised felt really good. A warmth began to spread into your chest, and a lump formed in your throat. 

It… wow, it had been so long since you’ve had friends like this.

You did your best to blink back tears at the gesture, not expecting to get so emotional over all of this. As you took a moment to acknowledge everyone, your gaze finally turned to Alastor. 

Oddly enough, he wasn’t looking at you, but he was looking at Angel. His eyebrows were tight as his grin stretched in an uncomfortable smile. You could tell he felt your gaze, cause soon his eyes flicked up to you, catching you watching him. In the blink of an eye, his expression softened as he grabbed his own glass, raising it high and giving you a heartening look. You shook the strange feeling from before and smiled back at him, grateful for his appreciation. 

The excitement settled down as everyone started serving themselves, the smell of the cooking becoming too much for everyone to ignore. You finally sat in your chair and reached out for Angel’s hand. The Spider Demon looked to you in surprise for a moment, taking in your smiling face.

“That was really sweet of you to say Angel,” you whispered, your grip on him tightening for a moment. You could feel yourself choking up again. “Seriously… Thank you.” Angel's face softened as he twisted his hand so it could grip on to yours. He began to open his mouth to respond.

In a mere moment, you could feel your chair lurch backwards, a panicked yelp escaping your throat as your hand was ripped out of Angel’s. Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing, looking at you in surprise. Angel turned in his seat and looked at you stupidly.

“... What the fuc-?”

Angel didn’t even get a chance to finish his statement as suddenly everyone chairs in your row shifted to the right, causing everyone to cry out and grip onto their seats in fear. Everyone on the other side of the table looked on in disbelief as their friends were shuffled around. 

To your surprise, while everyone shifted right, you slid to your left at lightning speed, the chair scraping loudly on the wooden floor. You suddenly jolted to a stop, and you held on for dear life at the force in which you were moving. Before you could recover, your chair lurched forward, propelling you back to the table and new place setting.

… Right next to Alastor.

You gasped in surprise, your heart racing in shock as you felt your knuckles turning white from gripping the seat so hard. You noticed something flicker beneath you, and your eyes managed to catch something. A shadow with a familiar Cheshire grin shimmied away from the feet of your chair before melting into the shade of the table. 

Your head whipped up to Alastor in disbelief. The Radio Demon had just finished serving himself jambalaya, not even looking in your direction as he tapped the serving spoon against his plate. With a cool expression, he turned his head to you and tilted his head to the side, as if nothing had happened.

“... Jambalaya~?” He pointed the spoon to the pot and looked at you expectantly.

Everyone stared for a moment, the room eerily quiet.

“.......... Alastor what the actual FUCK was that?!” Angel suddenly exploded, clearly very upset that his bestie was now 2 chairs away from him. Everyone else in your row nodded in agreement, perplexed at the sudden change in seating. Alastor didn't turn his head, nor look at Angel. The Radio Demon simply took your plate and began serving you the ride dish, his expression surprisingly calm and attention only on you.

“Just say when dear~”

Your eyes darted from Alastor to Angel, unsure of what to even do or say. Angel’s face scrunched up into a scowl, clearly displeased with being ignored.

“Hey! Freaky Face! I’m talkin’ to ya!” he growled, his hands tightening into fists. Alastor continued to ignore the spider, continuing to serve you as if it was just the two of you in the room. 

“My my, hungry now are we y/n dearest~?” Alastor grinned cheekily. You were still so dumbstruck, your gaze finally fell to your plate and you quickly realized just how full it was getting. Awkwardly looking between Angel and Alastor, you softly murmured a 'w-when'. Alastor gave a hum of approval and tapped the spoon on your plate before setting it back down in front of you. 

“Hah, ok Asshole. I see how it is.” Angel chuckled darkly to himself, “I get it. Ya just hate ta see anyone else gettin’ cozy with our little chef. I’ll admit, I didn’t take ya for the jealous type.”

That seemed to catch Alastors attention.

It was only for a moment, and only you were able to catch it sitting so close to him. But you noticed the Radio Demon’s pupils flash, and his one eyelid twitch as his smile grew dangerously wide. But in an instant, Alastor calmed his expression and was back to his suave self. Taking a breath, he finally turned his head to Angel.

“Oh please.” He drawled, his eyes looking at him with boredom, “I simply figured it only made sense for our wonderful chef to sit next to the demon who inspired tonight’s dish. Wouldn’t you agree y/n~?” He turned his head to you and slowly leaned in, giving you a pleasant smile. You felt your heart leap at suddenly being caught off guard, unsure of what to say.

“I, ah, well-!” 

Everyone's eyes were on you, and you suddenly felt very self conscious. Being put on the spot like this, and feeling as if you had to choose between your two friends, it was becoming very overwhelming. Unbeknownst to you, Charlie looked at you with such pity, and felt her own blood begin to boil at the situation these men put you in. Placing her hands on the table, the Princess of Hell rose from her chair, her face suddenly very authoritative.

“Both of you need to stop this nonsense.” She stated, looking down at both Angel and Alastor disapprovingly. “Y/n put a lot of effort into making this dinner special; and I won't allow you to ruin it over something so petty!” She continued to glare at them judgingly before turning her attention to you, giving you a quick comforting smile and nod. You felt your shoulders relax and smile back at her, feeling grateful for her support. She really was growing into her royal title. 

Angel had his arms crossed and was clearly still pissed, but there was a mix of shame in his eyes after being called out. Alastor’s face remained surprisingly calm, turning to look over at you. He noticed your posture and expression, his eyes calculating as he assessed the situation. Finally he turned back to the table.

“Our Princess is right of course~!” He smiled, lifting a hand and placing it on your shoulder, “I would hate for all of dear y/n’s efforts to be neglected. She has worked so hard; let us forget about all this nonsense and enjoy this wonderful meal~!” His eyes slid to Angels and gave him a hard stare. The Spider demon glared right back, his jaw tight and eyes furrowed with hatred. But after glancing at both you and Charlie, and seeing your faces, he finally grumbled in defeat. With a huff, Angel reached for another cheddar biscuit and slouched in his seat, ending the feud.  

You finally released the breath you were holding as everyone shrugged their shoulders and returned their focus to their plates. You felt Alastors grip on your shoulder tighten for a moment, making you turn to him. 

“Are you quite alright my dear?” He asked, an eyebrow raised in question. Despite the calm look on his face, you knew he wouldn't be asking if he wasn't genuinely concerned. You sighed and felt a smile spread across your face, giving his hand a pat in reassurance. 

“Yeah, I’m ok Al,” you started, beginning to shake your head and grin as you thought about the shenanigans he pulled earlier. “But seriously, there’s no need to be so jealous. If you want to sit beside me, just say so.” You looked up to him playfully, your previously conflicted emotions melting away. Alastor stared at you for a moment, his eye’s lidded and giving you a blank stare before turning to his plate. Removing his hand from your shoulder, he picked up his utensils and was suddenly very focused on his meal.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about y/n~” he replied. He scooped up a spoonful of rice and shrimp. You could feel your eyes crinkling as you watched him knowingly.

“Uh huh~” you smirk. 

The Radio Demon ignored you and took his first bit of jambalaya. Your grin slowly began to fall as you watched him pull the spoon out from his lips, your previous nerves from earlier settling in again. You watched his expression with baited breath as he tasted your cooking. 

His appearance didn’t change much; his eyes looking down at the food beneath him, eyes flickering over the plate. After a moment, his eyelids sank down closed as he continued to chew, allowing all of his senses to focus on the flavor. You could feel your leg begin to jiggle anxiously; seriously it was sad how badly you wanted this man’s approval. 

The demon lifted his head and gulped his mouthful down, eyes still closed and lips in a small pressed smile. You held your breath as you waited for his verdict. Alastor’s smile grew wider as he lowered his head back to the plate, opening his eyes and looking fondly at the dish below him. 

“Well well~” he chuckled, finally turning his head to you and giving you an impressed look, “I have to admit, this is as close as anyone has ever gotten.” 

You felt your heart stop.

Is he shitting you right now?

“Of course,” he continued, scooping another spoonful and inspecting it, “it is missing a few things; she’d usually add sausage as well, and probably a bit more spice to it.” he looked fond for a moment, seeming to reminisce to days gone by.

“Nevertheless, it does still taste like home~” He took another bite and once again closed his eyes, savoring the flavors. 

You felt lighter than a feather. 

Of course you knew you’d never get it exactly right. But holy crap you were so relieved that it met his expectations. You were so giddy you had to bite your lip to prevent yourself from squealing, practically doing a little happy dance in your chair. Satisfied with Alastors response, you grabbed onto your own spoon and began to happily dig in.

You were so carefree in your own little world, you didn’t even notice Alastor sneaking a glance at you. Or how his lips curled up ever so slightly at your antics before turning back to his plate. 

The rest of the evening went on without a hitch. Everyone gorged themselves until they were ready to burst, and complimented you on such a flavorful meal. You were so flustered with all the praise; despite the little quarrel that had happened earlier, you couldn’t have been more pleased with how the night went. And you felt more confident with your cooking now that you had Alastor’s official stamp of approval.

The group of demons eventually began to trickle out of the room, ready to immediately flop onto the closest comfortable furniture they could find. You giggled at their behavior and wished you could do the same, but you still had to clean up before you could clock off work. With a final stretch, you turn back to the table and are surprised to see Alastor still in his chair, leaning back comfortably and eyes closed.

“Truly a wonderful evening y/n dearest,” he sighed, opening a single eye to look at you, “There’s something about dining with a group of folks that brings out a certain camaraderie, don’t you think~?” You sighed happily as you approached the table.

“Honestly, it was something I had forgotten I had missed since coming to Hell,” you smiled, beginning to stack the plates and collecting utensils. “I’m just happy to do my part in getting demons to open up more and earn everyone’s trust.”

Alastor said nothing in return, simply watching you as you accumulated the dirty dishes. His eyebrow quirked up before he finally raised his hand and snapped his fingers. Shadows emerged from under the table, making you gasp and almost drop your stack of plates. The same shaded goons from your first week at the hotel appeared beside you and began collecting all the dishes. You begin to tumble over words of protests, but they didn’t pay attention to you as they continued to clean, one even grabbing the stack in your hands and waddling to the kitchen.

“Alastor!” you laugh, turning to him in bewilderment, “Call your minions off; seriously I can clean all of this up myself.” But the Radio Demon merely waved a hand to you as he rose from his seat.

“Don’t bother arguing with me my dear,” he sassed, “You’ve done more than enough tonight; consider this my way of thanking you for a marvelous feast.” 

You sighed at him, slightly annoyed. But you had to admit, you were grateful for his help. Today had surprisingly taken its toll on you, physically and emotionally, and you were so tired from it all. You smiled up at him, rocking back and forth on your feet sheepishly.

“... Thank you Al. Honestly.” you paused for a moment, thinking about everything he had done for you in the month you’d been here. And asking for nothing in return. It was out of character for him.

“I just…” you sighed, making Alastor tilt his head quizzically to you. “I just want to say I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for me. You gave me this job, helped me settle in and feel comfortable, and because of it all I even got to make new friends…” You saw Alastors eyes narrow for a moment and you had to bite back the knowing grin. You cleared your throat and continued.

“But I hope you know,” you hummed, “that I’ll always consider you my first real friend down here. And that I’m really grateful to have been given this chance to get close to you.”

Alastor looked at you long and hard for a moment, the air between you calm and quiet. His static sound shuffled for a second before he finally straightened his back and stood taller, his lips pressed together into a large smile. The red demon glided over to you, and softly patted your head, shaking his head in amusement.

“Ohhh y/n, y/n, y/n,” he sighed, opening his eyes and quirking an eyebrow, “I do often wonder how someone like yourself ended up down here.” Now it was your turn to cock an eyebrow as you gave him a cheeky smile.

“Al, you know exactly how I got down here.”

“Ah, that’s right.” A chuckle escaped his lips, and you knew for a fact he still found your death thoroughly entertaining. “By the way, you didn’t happen to sneak anything into our meal today, now did you~?” He gave you an impish grin. You burst out laughing.

“You asshole!” you guffawed, shoving his hand on your head away playfully, to which the demon snickered evilly. As your laughter simmered down, looked at you a moment before tilting his head up, eyes closed.

“I still stand by my previous statement,” he mused. “The type of folks in this realm are not worthy of such kindness. You should be careful as to whom you trust around here.” He opened his eyes, and his crimson gaze fell to yours. His expression shifted into a serious one at his last statement, making your grin falter for a moment. But only for a moment. 

“Well, it’s a good thing I have you around then, isn’t it?” You smiled, taking a step towards him.

Alastors gaze widened a moment, his eyes flickering over your face. It wasn’t often that you caught the Radio Demon off guard, but the rare moments when you did, you couldn’t help but feel a little pride. Finally, Alastor began to chuckle, shaking his head at you again. After taking a breath, he looked back down at you, a surprising fondness donning his face.

“Hmmm, I suppose it is~”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

..... Alastor doesn't like to share ¬‿¬ Fun fact: Angel like's to give you food-related nicknames. Baby Cakes, Sugar, Puddin', Honey Bunz, ect.

FIRST PREVIOUS NEXT

#hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor #oh deer #leilani lily

[gnomishcunning]

could you do nsfw hcs for rolan with a dominant partner? like how would he feel about submitting to someone and would it be nerve wracking or cathartic for him? i love your writing as always ❤️

ik i just published submissive rolan thoughts the other day but i got two anons, so like. please, have some more yall. this man's been floating around in my brainspace alot lately, and i needed to do something about it.

nsfw below the cut, MDNI

rolan's a switch in my mind, but he leans towards being a bratty sub. bdsm isn't a lifestyle dynamic for him, but it's a fun and playful way to flirt and spice up his sex life

submitting is somewhere solidly terribly nerve-wracking and incredibly cathartic for this man: he's been on his feet since Elturel, working himself to the bone- keeping Lia and Cal safe, getting to his apprenticeship, putting up with Lorroakan's bullshit until Tav helps him yeet Larry Pickle out of the tower.

the idea of giving up control is a little bit terrifying, but dear gods, deep down, he's craving the opportunity to just. relax, and give up control. at least for a little bit.

it'd be so nice to be the one who got doted on for once, instead of constantly worrying about others

however, this is rolan, so like. getting him to verbally admit that is a bitch and a half.

a dominant partner would need to be particularly patient, and introduce more and more elements of submission per session, cut through with plenty of sweet ole' regular sex (even if he's bottoming) and reassurance

start slow. just ask him to keep his hands to himself while riding him, either digging into the bed or planted against the headboard. use the opportunity to lavish kisses across his entire body, overwhelm him with praise

hit him with the goodole reverse-dom situation to kickstart his submissive side. be the submissive who insists on servicing their master bc it's their job to make him feel good.

at the right words, probably along the lines of "Let me service you, Master Rolan~" his eyes would squeeze shut, he'd hide his face in the nearest available surface, and whimper as he cums inside you

once you've breached the initial barrier of submission, Rolan's actually a pretty eager submissive - he'll come to you with a lot of different session ideas, and he's willing to try anything at least once. he trusts you, after all

his typical bratty attitude mostly rears its head in the form of his mouth. he's got a special talent for saying the worst possible thing at the most inopportune times, the type of 'tude that's the perfect excuse for a lil funishment.

in my mind, rolan's not a masochist in the slightest (with like, exactly two exceptions to that concept i'll elaborate on later), so you'd wanna get creative with funishments.

overstim is fair game, he enjoys the way it makes his head all fuzzy and the fact he can't speak coherently

edging... might literally drive him insane. he's not a patient man: he can persist insurmountable situations, but when he wants something he wants it. when it's his orgasm? deny him, one-two-three times, use it to build up the tension and the pleasure, but don't needlessly keep it from him.

subdrop is a very notable threat for rolan, so keep an eye on his behavior. if he goes too quiet or it seems like he's retreated too far into his own head, where he's hesitating before speaking? don't be afraid to safeword for the both of you

if rolan seemed needy beforehand, that state-of-mind skyrockets after a session. he's gonna be stuck to your side like a particularly cuddly burr for the remainder of the evening - both in bed, and in the shower

his favorite aftercare activity is probably laying his head on your chest while you read out-loud to him. if you scratch his head and horns at the same time, you'll be treated to a sweet, sweet purr.

#rolan #rolan x tav #holy rolan empire #balduramblings #bg3

[eveenstar]

Could I request a GN reader general like dating stuff with Cal Kestis? Sorry if you've already done it!

Have a good day!! <3

Cal Kestis!! Sure can! Hope these are enough ♡ I tried to zoom between Fallen Order and Survivor, but also post Survivor events, so watch out for spoilers!

Dating Cal Kestis | Headcanons

->Cal and Obi-Wan are the definition of 'perfect boyfriend'. In fact, all the Jedi are jealous they can't be them. Have you seen those gorgeous ginger locks? Running your fingers through his hair while he rests his head on your chest after a hard mission... now that's the dream.

->Cal is dreamy, yes, but he also comes with a lot of packages. He doesn't talk about it, Cal avoids talking about anything remotely involving his past trauma when he's around you. If you ask, he'll joke around to try and get you to change the topic. Cal hates to admit it (even to himself) but he doesn't feel worthy of your love. Deep down he still blames himself for the death of his master, for Cere, for Cordova...and for not sensing Bode's betrayal. Cal would never forgive himself if something had happened to you.

->He's very attentive and always willing to slow down and listen to you vent. One of Cal's hands will rub your knee, sometimes holding your hand, kissing your knuckles to make you laugh. Cal will feel angry that someone has wronged you, he'd carry that burden for you if he could.

->don't blame him if he ever crosses paths with the person/people who did you wrong and goes a little to far

->Knows you can handle yourself in battle, but if you can't, he'll insist on training you, "c'mon, I'll go easy on you!" he'd sway you into it until you eventually give up.

->Cal is a little tease too. Will let down his hair stan long haired cal and wear one of those tight sweat shirts to show off his muscles, just because he knows that will throw you off during training. He'll laugh about it too! "Yeah? Are you gonna blame me for your lack of focus?" purposely to annoy you so you'll put him in his place. Knock him down, straddle him and bring his lightsaber dangerously close to his throat and that will 100% shut him up.

->not to get nfsw but definitely has a thing for you having the upper hand. Cal will blush and stare wide-eyed, but that cocky little grin never once leaves his face. Its just too much fun seeing you mad.

->LOVES pulling you under his poncho when he's wearing one. You two obviously don't fit in one together unless you're considerably smaller and then get absorbed in Cal's poncho. Definitely gets you a bunch of ponchos too, even shares his! Couple's that match together stay together.

->BD-1 is your child, I don't make the rules. He loves you nearly as much as Cal and lives to make your boyfriend jealous by snuggling closer to you at night.

->"I think you've stolen him from me." Cal jokes as BD-1 hops on your shoulder as you leave the ship. He has never seen his little buddy droid so trusting of someone that isn't Cal himself. Sure, BD-1 trusts Cere, Merrin and Greez, but not as much as he trusts you, so it must means you're special.

->of course you're special, Cal would think to himself, you made me fall for you.

->not overly touchy but loves to hold your hands in his, even does it unconsciously and especially in his sleep. Cal will seek you out to rest his chin on your shoulder or the top of your head, sometimes even wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you close. May or may not start pampering your skin with soft, little kisses all the way up to your jawline and if you don't stop then he'll take it a step further...have I said he's touch-starved? He is. Once he gets his hands on you, there's no prying him away.

->Keeps a little trinket that reminds him of you if you two have to be separated. Cal will look at it, play with it between his fingers, wishing it was you he was holding instead. Probably get you something like that too, I headcanon that it's a blue and red bracelet :)

->The incident with Dagan and then Bode's betrayal has taken a toll on Cal. You can see his struggle with the darkside, even during his sleep (or the few hours that he gets of rest) his face is closed up and his hands tighten around you, as if you were sand about to escape between his fingers. Saying he becomes more fearful and protective is an understatement - life becomes so much more real when you have someone to lose, and Cal has lost too many. To lose you would be to lose himself.

->The duel with Dagan nearly cost your life as the red blade nearly sliced you in half hadn't his own lightsaber blocked it in time. Dagan taunted Cal for his love for you and that was the first time you saw the darkness that lies behind his eyes. He almost cut off Dagan's head.

->Bode was his friend, and Cal trusted him, but he couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous when you two got a little bit too close, or when Bode's hand trailed down your arm, his smile growing just a bit. Cal would sulk for a while and his kisses and holding would become just a tad bit more hungry and possessive, as if he's trying to prove something.

->Don't worry, he'll calm down when you show your love for him. Run your fingers through his hair, pull him close to you, whisper sweet nothings to his ear until he's weak under your touch.

->He's not very experienced as to what he should call you, sure before you he had at least one other relationship (which was just a little teenage crush and barely lasted more than a few rotations). Nicknames such as love and baby suffice for him, but at one point in your relationship you both start a challenge as to who can find the most dumbass nicknames for each other, and Cal takes that to heart.

->Spoiler alert, Cal wins. Everyone in the ship is horrified at the nicknames he's calling you such as his "sweet pookie bogling" and winking at you, knowing how embarrassing it is. He's a dork, but a competitive one at that. You gotta give him credit for the creativity though.

->On Tanalorr, Cal wishes for nothing more than a peaceful life with you. He has never thought of himself as a father, but he'd be lying if he said being with you hasn't sparked some thoughts that often come to him when he sees you playing with BD-1 or caring for Kata.

->That's when he knows that no matter how hard the fight gets, everything will be alright as long as he has you by his side.

#✵•.✵𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨✵.•✵ #cal kestis #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis x you #cal kestis x y/n #jedi fallen order #jedi survivor #star wars #star wars x reader

[sircesimblr]

Manon: Pardon me?!

Stam: What kind of a suit is that?!

Klaus-Ove: Me? Mine?

Manon: Why, yes!

Orbin: Mine, probably.

Stam: Orbin! You're positively reeking of mothballs! Don't - ugh, don't even think of coming near Rachel in that thing. You'll ruin your... why! am I even saying this?

Orbin: Sorry. It's my father's wedding suit. He wore it on the happiest day of his life. I don't own a suit myself so I figured it "suits", haha, to borrow it, for a special day like this. Don't I look, like, "flashy"?

Manon and Stam: "Flashy"?

Manon: Oh, my eyes are hurting me, Mr. Larsen. I cannot look at you. Flashy? Those colours are thunder flashes to the soul. You may be artistic, little pup, but this isn't exactly a display of good taste and modesty!

Klaus-Ove: And why not?

Manon and Stam: Why not?!

Klaus-Ove: People, look at the big picture. Squint your eyes. I am just a simplified representation of this breathtaking nature all around us: the green and mustard grasses, the grey skies and waters, my seven ginger strands of hair, hahaha. I could've gone a little more with the greys, I admit. But imagine Rachel next to me. She's got her hair up. She wears a long dress, like, teal, or soft flaxen... white? Would she not be the only one, anybody would be looking at, next to me? Exactly. And nothing would make me happier. Mr. Stam "let me show some more of my chest so everyone will notice how hot I am" Hardenes!

Stam: I.. I... Oh, shut it.

Klaus-Ove: Hahaha, just teasing, man. You don't care about looks, I know, it's okay, you probably lost a button when you changed. I'll help you look for it later.

Manon: Oh, this is terrible. Absolutely terrible. My apologies, dear Rachel, this was a true misreckoning on my part. Please, please, erase their formal appearance from your mind when this is over... They were such fine, charming gentlemen before... Do - I urge you - do take them to a taylor's first, before you'll debut with either of them in society! Now, gentlemen, let's not prolong this and take our leave. A final bow, a kiss, to our esteemed lady!

And with that, Miss Rachel Murray, I feel my little adventure, my story about love, is coming to an end.

It wasn't an easy task, but I'm honoured to feel a little of what it must have been for you. My big little nibbles, presenting their solemnest of hearts to only you, dearest and loveliest you. By now they're all behaving like loosened hosiery, pardon me, but you've seen them. Their ways and wishes, words and dreams, and in between the lines, who they truly are.

Dearest Rachel, I wish you the very best of luck. Meeting my gentlemen, and the many more that seek your friendship and affection. Have fun, dear girl, on your journey. I bow to you too. And please, let me, or let my Watcher know some day, how it all turned out for you. It's not only love, it is life.

So, good-day, Watchers, Authors and Readers! Thank you so very much for spending your time with us. And now: back to our own worlds.

(behind the scenes:)

The gentlemen: Thanks, Miss de La Haye. A bow and a kiss for you too. Here. Here!

Manon: Stop it. Stop it.

The gentlemen: Well done! Good job. Rachel will be over the moon. We'll take it from here! But we'll forever and always be your big little nibbles too.

Manon: My heart. My goodness. Give me a minute to breathe, to recuperate, before our Watcher just magically poofs us back to where we came from. Please excuse me, lovelies. This is not the easiest thing to say good-bye to...

My big little nibbles. This desolate, lovely island. My heart, my heart, connecting with these gentle souls, like it does with each and every one of my children... it's, it's - how did I ever get to experience this? How do I go back to Praaven remembering this? Knowing these kind of men exist, knowing this kind of love exists, ready to be given to one special woman... Not me...

How do I live on, with all this inside of me?

What... And what... if she makes me... forget? What if my Watcher makes me forget this ever happened, when she sends me back?!

Heavens, no! To forget what became so dear... I don't want to, no... she can't - is that hell? Will she truly send me through hell, to get back?! All of us?!

My goodness, my goodness!! May the heavens help me!!

Stam: Guys, something is wrong with our hostess. She's having a ... meltdown? Miss! Miss de La Haye, are you alright?!

Orbin: Miss de La Haye? Are you in pain?

Klaus-Ove: Miss de La Haye!

(prev)

#a man for rachel #@kimmiessimmies #intermezzo AU mini story #that's it! #we'll see what happens over on kimmiessimmies' simblr! #and don't worry about manon #she came through hell remembering nothing but she awoke with a sudden strong determination #to raise her little nibbles a little different than she used to do #she would send a whole different generation of men into Praaven's historybooks!

[leupagus]

Live Gus Reacts! After a nap

So this one isn't going to be long because my carpal tunnel is acting up, but I loved this episode. Yes, there were some after-school-special elements, but I think Chuck Hayward knocked it out of the park, especially considering this was his only screenplay for this show (of course, he's won Emmys for Wandavision and is about to run his own show so dude knows what he's about). It felt much more interwoven than last week's, and certainly flowed a lot better.

I'm hilarified that Edyta Budnik's Polish background was used for Jade's character, similar to how most of the Richmond players' actual backgrounds are used on the show (and why I had her reading a book in Polish in the WifeGuy fic I'm writing). I will say that Rupert, specifically, clocking that was an interesting moment because there is a very real (and ugly) history of prejudice against Polish immigrants in England; Rupert was not being charming there, by any means. The whole interaction with Rupert and Nate in this episode was really fascinating, because Rupert's clearly alarmed at the fact that Nate is getting outside support — he was so effective at cutting Nate completely off from everyone at Richmond, but here Nate is, building his own network here (Roger's invitation suggests to me that this isn't the first time Nate's been out with the West Ham staff/team after a game). And for Rupert, that's unacceptable — Nate's become as much a "possession" to him as Rebecca once was, so he's going to try his best to keep Nate isolated. Unfortunately for him, Nate is still The Great and is learning to balance his newfound pride with his enduring kindness. So however that shakes out will be fun to watch, I think. (All the fingers crossed that it ends with Rupert getting struck by lightning, because really how could you improve on mardia's masterpiece.)

One thing I hate about this storyline, though, is that Nick Mohammed is still having to field abuse from racist fans who think he hasn't "atoned" enough to be allowed happiness or character growth; I love seeing more of Nate, but not at the expense of Mohammed having to deal with this bullshit.

Re: the Colin storyline, I can't really say whether or not it was handled well or poorly, because my personal reaction to it has overwritten that kind of objective analysis. I've read a few reactions, which run the gamut, and I can see how those scenes may have left people disappointed/elated/angry/satisfied. For me, knowing that this episode was written by a Black man my age, from my mom's alma mater (and uhhhh glad to see they changed the mascot from when she went there) and that he and Dylan Marron were the two writers "in charge" of Colin's storyline does make me more inclined to see the choices — Ted's ridiculous Denver Broncos analogy, Isaac's lashing out and somewhat remedial "how does gay work" questions — as deliberate explorations of how straight men can and do react to finding out their friend is gay: not perfectly or even well, but borne out of love and respect and desire to protect. I was very grateful that the entire team immediately accepted Colin, because the last thing I wanted in that moment was "realism." Ditto with Colin's playing improving in the second half of the game, now that his two lives are (at least partially) connected; that's likely not what would happen IRL but I didn't care, even a little bit.

I'll admit I VERY much dig Rebecca as Tough Mom character this season; she's been doling out some extremely good advice to people, and it's delightful to me. Yes, she's a main character who's not getting enough to do, but like Ted I think the show still works when she's not in the spotlight, and when she gets to be the one offering support rather than needing it. And I adore her and Roy's weird-ass relationship, it's just incredible to get these glimpses into how they see each other.

Other than that: Sam giving Jamie the middle finger AND a beautiful smile was amazing, Jamie being pleased to be clocked as queer was interesting, the Higgins And Rebecca Buddies Fun Time is still great, and I want every one of Trent Crimm's t-shirts. And a clementine.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #believe mothereffers #also did anyone else notice Michelle's absolutely exhausted 'please ted we gotta let the teacher go' tone #like god bless and I love Ted dearly #but Ted when he's in full Win You Over mode really is EXHAUSTING

[inkybloom-luv]

Words Unsaid 2; late night and rainy day

Jamil Viper. I wish I had the courage to speak to you. Even now my words falter and I stutter when you're the topic of discussion. I haven't very many friends but Ace and Deuce unfortunately do tease me about just how obvious I seem to be when it's about you. I can't help it. You take my breath away in the best way possible, make me feel happy.

I'll be the first to admit though that I wish you would never see my more pathetic side. The one that cowers, that freezes in fear, flinches at every little thing. I wish that if you did see me, not that you ever would, I'm not sure I'm quite special enough to be noticed by someone like you, you saw me through rose tinted glasses. As someone who was smart, sweet and whatever else I'm sure you and your darling silver tongue could come up with.

I've hidden away my first.. well I don't want to call it a letter to you, but that's what it is, I suppose. I've seen you around more often recently. I've unfortunately been busy. Recently I've been having a few nightmares and have been hoping to sleep in the afternoons rather than doing as many things as I previously had been. I'm writing this sitting in Savanaclaw.

Somehow I feel like you may know what I've done. I.. was talked into giving up the dorm should I fail to fulfill a contract. But I didn't want to agree to it. I don't like it. It's loud in Savanaclaw. I'm glad Leona is willing to share his room. I'm currently set up on his floor with an extra mattress and Grim, little weasel he is, got a nice cat bed. But even now you keep me awake.

I wonder what it would be like if I could lay next to you instead, run my hand along your back, hold you close and listen to your heart. Those are delusions but they are what has been getting me through. I'm tired and I'm anxious all the time, I just can't seem to relax. That's all I have for now. I wish my dreams were real.

Jamil, recently I saw you when it was raining. I was stuck under a small roof, trying to escape the downpour. I saw you running towards Sam's shop with your hood up. Has anyone told you you look like a snake from the side with your hood up? Your hair makes your Sideprofile look like it has a little fang. It's cute. I don't believe I'll ever say it to you. I did call out to you, saying Sam was in the cafeteria. He was organizing an ingredient bulk buy for the cafeteria ghosts. You thanked me and came over for a moment, ducking under the little roof as well. We were so close. And most importantly, I spoke to you. I saw your pretty eyes again.

My heart was beating out of my chest the entire time, I'm sure you saw how flushed I was. All I can do is hope I did not embarrass myself by saying something weird. I was so happy you were there, hiding from the rain with me. You asked me why I never look people in the eye when they speak. I told you it scared me. And then I told you your eyes were pretty. That you didn't scare me. And I meant it. I can't lie to you. Not when you hold my heart in your skilled hands. I'm glad I found this paper again.

♪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♪

One last treat for y'all when I go to bed. Working on pt 3 as well. Ya, have fun with this and I hope you enjoy even if I think this one isn't as good as the other one!! <3333333

Can be read as an x reader since it's just my yuu-sona,, yas

602 words

Part 1

Part 3 Part 4

Part 5 Part 6

Part 7

@azulashengrottospiano

@dove-da-birb

@krenenbaker

#inky's works #drabble #moots!! <3 #simpery #→yuu sona things #jamil x reader #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #jamil fluff #jamil x mc #jamil viper fluff #jamil viper x mc #jamil x oc #twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst fluff #twisted wonderland fluff

[vegalustirra]

Hearing that you play OPTC... What's your favorite Sabo unit in there?

You know that I can't pick only one favorite Sabo unit now (& I'm not saying that because I'm indecisive). 🤭

I'm honestly going to do it like this:

2 Favorite Non Sugo units

2 Favorite Sugo Units

There's a few that I'm not counting, as listed in this post here. I wanted to include honorable mentions (1 non Sugo & 1 Sugo) as well. But I can't fit more pics or animations & I don't have much to say about those two. So I'm going to put them in a different post as well.

Anyway, here are my favorites that I have & like. They're not in any order by the way!

First Favorite Non Sugo Unit:

Bitter Refinement/Sweet Dignity

These two are one of the very first Treasure Map event units we ever got in the game, & it's honestly an endearing unit. I remember having this in my team along with the Christmas Cavendish unit that I also got from Treasure Map. I personally loved the theme & aesthetic. The outfit is lovely, especially the addition of the little dragon on the tie.

I was surprised to know that they gave this unit additional abilities later on if you raised his level limit. He was actually one of the very first units to be given additional abilities. Raising it to the max basically had given his special ability the additional effect to heal the team with 15,000 HP.

Speaking of his special, the animation is really cute despite being on the shorter side. Just look at that smile!

Currently, I use him whenever he is a boosted unit for an event or whenever Valentine's Day comes around. Personally, I wish they made a figure of this specific unit holding the plate of sweets he has in the art because I just love it so much!

Second Favorite Non Sugo Unit:

An Unlikely Alliance/Back to Back Fire Fists

I have to admit, the more I look at Stampede Sabo in general, the more fond I am of the outfit he's wearing. But yeah, this is the one Stampede Sabo unit we have in this game & I just love using him whenever I can.

He basically boosts the attack of three character types, & he's yet to get any additional abilities for his level limit as of now. Still, I do enjoy using him on teams I make up for fun & when he's a boosted character in events.

His special animation is pretty short compared to others, but it does look very nice overall.

A part of me kind of wished he was a Sugo Unit. I just think him being voiced would've been nice. But I'm more than fine with him being a Clash Unit (even though I struggled a bit to get him several times to raise his level limit).

Alright, now for the Sugo Units.

First Favorite Sugo Unit:

Brotherly Bond/Fiery Bond/Declaring Battle Against the Gods

Yes, all three of these are technically the same unit, but they're separated in the character log. This is because the first two came out first. We got the super evolution of the unit later on (last year actually). The fact that it also changes the typing of the unit is amusing. It's actually one of several super evolutions to do that.

But if you were to ask me which one of these three is my favorite, it would actually have to be the super evolution.

I absolutely adore this unit so much, even though he's not considered good in the current meta. A lot of people on my friends list there like to use him as friend captain & that makes me happy to see. Pretty sure it either has to do with the fact that their teams are the types he boosts or they like his super type special.

Also, seeing him all angry in the art & the animation just gets my heart feeling a certain way. I just love a man who will do anything for those who are close to him, okay?

Though I will admit that his optional effect isn't too drastic though (I'll post it later).

Second Favorite Sugo Unit:

Reunion with His Little Brother/Flame to Protect His Little Brother

This unit is one of the Anniversary Units. Still a pretty recent unit in the game too as he's only been around for about 8 months or so.

It's safe to say that I have a lot of love for this unit in particular. Though I'll be honest, there's another unit that's tied with this one. But I'll talk about that unit in the next post I do.

Not only is it referencing a moment that honestly makes me cry, it's also a really wonderful unit that I enjoy using as Captain. This especially goes considering that I like using the units he boosts.

He has quite a wonderful animation too! Compared to other animations, this one had a bit more work put into it (& I don't just mean length wise either).

The fact that it's just that sequence of him dealing with the Marines is so funny. It makes me so freaking happy because of how much I loved that moment. It's another reason as to why I like having this unit in my current main team.

By the way, this isn't the only animation this unit has. They also gave him a special animation for when you complete a super tandem with him & a few specific characters!

The thing is that, again, he's an anniversary unit. So he only comes around whenever they have an anniversary or half anniversary banner. But I'm not exactly in a rush to raise his level limit. He's good as is with what I was able to do in terms of boosting his stats up. Just need to raise his potential abilities.

Overall, I love all the Sabo units I have on the game & I can't wait for any future ones they give us!

Also, if you guys want the animations alone in the posts along with the unit's pics, then I'll gladly do that when I can!

#I said it would be long & it was #excuse the gifs being different sizes on desktop #i tried lmao #Datura Asks #sweet ramblings of mine #one piece #chief of staff sabo #sabo the revolutionary #revolutionary sabo #flame emperor sabo

[lotlvision]

Dora 2024 first(ish) listens!

Alen Đuras - "A tamburitza lullaby" I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm always biased against songs in English, but I have to admit that it's pretty catchy - I'm also a big fan of the actual backing. It does feel a little bit more special than a pop song, so I'll give it 7/10

Baby Lasagna - "Rim tim tagi dim" I'm immediately taking back my English bias, this is SO fun. I think the staging will be really important to sell this as a winner, but I can hear the Cha Cha Cha influence so I already adore it. 9.5/10

Barbara Munjas - "Nepobjediva" Not a fan of her vocals... I assume they're a stylistic choice? The song feels like a mishmash of several genres and not in a cohesive way. I mostly zoned out of listening to it, so it's not bad background music if nothing else! 4.5/10

Boris Štok - "Can we talk" I'm not sold on this song. Sad white man singing about a break up without the Taylor Swift pizzazz I like in my breakup songs. Useful lyrics to steal for fic titles, but that's about it. 5/10

Damir Kedžo - "Voljena ženo" Song five and FINALLY some Croatian! That said, it's not my personal preferred style. It's definitely got strong vocals, and with the right staging it could do well. I'm not sure how the Dora votes are split, but if it's 50/50 Jury and Public then it'll do well with Juries! 8/10

Erna - "How do you love me" Immediately back to singing in English... I hate the breathy whisper-singing, and the song itself doesn't really have anything special about it. Sorry Erna, but this is not a song for me. 5/10

ET - "Pametnom dosta" Time for the (apparently) mandatory club song! It doesn't really build or climax the same way similar Eurovision songs have (thinking Lights Out), and it doesn't feel like there's anything particularly special about it. 6/10

Eugen - "Tišine" Not my style again, however I am reaching for my phone to turn the light on and wave my arm slowly back and forth. I think it could do well with Juries, and well with the Public too. It's got a nice build toward the end. 8.5/10

James Night - "Nebo plače" This is definitely just a pop song. The vocals don't seem as strong/polished as some of the others so far, however these are all recorded rather than live, so there's no telling how they'll sound on stage. It's not super special, but it's an earworm and I'm enjoying it. 6.5/10

Lana Mandarić - "More" This song is definitely a builder. I'm not a huge fan of the style, but I can understand the appeal behind it. Staging will really make or break this. 7.5/10

Lara Demarin - "Ne vjerujem ti" I was enjoying myself and then some guy started rapping over Lara's lovely singing. I don't feel like that added anything - more it just detracted from what was a nice song. 6.5/10

Let 3 - "Babaroga" Let 3 are already back! This song isn't anywhere near as good as Mama ŠČ!, and having heard them live the autotune stands out even more than it does just listening. They sound more like dolphins than humans. However, I love the weird shit in Eurovision, so this is right up my street. 8/10

Lu Dedić - "Plavi leptir" This is not my vibe for listening to on a regular basis, however as a standalone song for one night it really could be my winner. With the right staging, lighting, costumes, choreography I could want this to win. It gives me the same vibes as I get during the wedding in Miss Saigon (this is an AMAZING thing, it's so soft and beautiful). 9/10

Marcela - "Gasoline" I do really enjoy this song. It is in English, and it is just a pop song, but the vocals are really strong and the lyrics are very catchy. It might not do well, but it'll be going onto my playlists. 7.5/10

Mario Battifiaca feat. Robert Ferlin - "Vodu piti trizan biti" When a song on eurovisionworld has a 1.5 star rating you're either in for a treat, or you're going to listen to something truly awful. This is just boring, and slow, and the longest 3 minutes of my life. 2/10

Misha - "One day" This song isn't very special. It's a pop song, but without the really upbeat and fun nature of a pop song. It's catchy, but that's about it. 5/10

Natalie Balmix - "Dijamanti" This is a fun song! I think the current rating is maybe a little bit high, but there's a lot of potential and I think it could be a contender with the right staging. For now, 8/10

Noelle - "Baby, baby" It's just a pop song. It's nothing special, there's nothing that makes it a real Eurovision entry, but there's nothing overtly bad about it either. 6/10

Pavel - "Do mjeseca" I am SO upset at the low rating for this. Sure, the vocals aren't the best, but the song has such an ABBA vibe to it! It's so fun! This is the guilty pleasure song of the 2024 NF season, I'm calling it now. 7/10 and everyone giving it less can (affectionately and light-heartedly) go fuck themselves! (My vote on the website took the song from 1.6 stars to 1.8 stars my power omfg)

Saša Lozar - "Ne plačem zbog nje" The song isn't very memorable to me, it doesn't really stand out. The only noteworthy thing I can think of saying is that this guy looks like if Fred from KEiiNO got hit by a car. Which is maybe quite rude but oh well. 5.5/10

Stefany Žužić - "Sretnih dana dat' će Bog" Another fairly unremarkable song. A lot of the songs later in the list online seem to be rated quite lowly. Another 5.5/10

The Splitters - "Od kad te sanjam" I'm quite conflicted about how to rank this song. I feel like, even as I continue to listen to it, it's growing on me and I'm wishing I gave it a higher rating on Twitter than I did - but I've already sent the tweet and submitted my vote. The song is, objectively, not the best, but it makes me feel more than the other pop songs I've rated similarly so I feel like I should've ranked it higher? But it's not that good! Argh! I'm conflicted! 6.75/10

Vatra - "Slatke suze, gorka ljubav" This song is like exactly my taste, however I also recognise it's not objectively the best in this line up and that it's not a Eurovision song in the slightest. I'm going to enjoy it, but I'll give it a hopefully unbiased 6/10

Vinko - "Lying eyes" In the least insulting way possible, this sounds like Lin Manuel Miranda trying to cover a Coldplay song: Fix You specifically. Honestly, the guy even looks like a Coldplay/LMM lovechild. I'm not a fan. 5/10

#dora 24 #dora 2024 #esc 24

[akihabaradivision]

ARB Birthday Special: Criss Hiromi

~~ November 1st ~~

"All a skeptic is is someone who hasn't had an experience."

Login Lines:

"Hmm... morning Leraje! How'd you sleep, old buddy? Yeah, me too! I'm glad to be back home. Don't get me wrong, I love exploring, but sleeping on a soft, warm bed beats sleeping outside on the ground any day. Speaking of which, I better get a move on! This day won't seize itself! ...Wait, what's this?"

"A letter from my grandparents? 'Happy birthday, Criss!' ...Wait... Oh yeah, today's November 1st! My birthdate! I can't believe I forgot! ...Leraje, guess what? I'm 19 years old now! One year away from 20! Wow, I can't believe it... I'm 19!"

Voice Lines:

"I got a lot of 'happy birthdays' from my followers online on YouTube! I have to admit, it's a little embarrassing, but I'm glad to have so many people who follow and watch me do what I do. I guess I have Nikki to thank for introducing me to YouTube and showing me how to become more popular with it. Without her, I don't think I would have met all of you. So... thank you all!"

"Several of my classmates wished me a 'happy birthday', as well, which is a surprise. Usually, some of them either think I'm weird or strange and don't want anything to do with me, or just make fun of me. But I'm glad at least a few of them are nice. It really means a lot! It's nice to have good friends!"

"...Mom, dad. It's me again. I... I don't know if... if you guys are listening, but... it's my birthday, today. The day that... that I was born, I guess. I... I just wanted to say that... that I love and miss you both very much, wherever you are. ...And... I'll never stop searching for you."

*sighs* "What am I doing? You're just wasting your time, Criss. Face facts. They're not here anymore. They haven't come to see you the past two years. What makes you think this one will be any different? After all, you're just... 'unwanted'..."

"Hey, Keiko! Thanks for stopping by to visit! ...Yes, I know. I promise I'll head to class this week. But I have been keeping up on my assignments, so there's that! ...Yes, I know that's no substitute. I promise I'll try to do better. Sorry."

"...Ooh, a gift? What is it? ...A ghost necklace?! And it lights up too?! Cool! Thanks a lot, Keiko! I promise I'll wear it always! It's too good not to keep around my neck! Thanks again, Keiko!"

"Hey Nikki! I'm kinda surprised to see you here. ...You... you came to see me on your own? How sweet! ...Aww, but why? Isn't it normal for best friends to hug? ...But... it's my birthday... Yay! Thank you, Nikki! ...Aww, just a while longer? ...Fine, fine! I'll stop!"

"Hehehe! ...I try not to shake the camera, but it gets hard when I'm juggling it and my equipment together. ...What's this? A... helicopter? Ohh... it's a drone-thing! I've seen these before on the Internet! Awesome! Thank you, Nikki! ...Will do! ...Aww, you can't stay longer? ...Fine. But before you go... one last hug!"

Keiko Lines:

"Hey Criss! Happy birthday! I'm glad you're back here in the city. Your professors have been sending me emails asking about you. You haven't been skipping classes again, have you? *Sighs* ...Criss, we've talked about this. If you ever want to get out of high school, you've got to be more serious. And no, just doing your assignments is no substitute. You actually have to be there, in person. ...Thank you. I'm not trying to be harsh or mean. I just care about you, is all."

"But that's enough of me lecturing you. Here's your birthday gift from me! I know you like to go traversing around in the dark, so I bought you this. It's a glow-in-the-dark necklace. It automatically lights up whenever the area is dark. Promise me you'll wear it whenever you go out on way of your... exploits, okay? ...Good. That fills me with some sense of security. And again, happy birthday. I'm really happy for you."

Nikki Lines:

"Hey Criss. Happy birthday. ...Yes, I would have just shot you an email, but... that would have seemed insensitive, so... here I am. ...DO NOT hug me. You know I don't do hugs, no matter who they are from. ...I don't care that you're my best friend. DO NOT hug me. ...Gah, fine. ...Okay, you've gotten your hug. Now let go. ...Criss, do not think that just because it is your birthday I won't hurt you."

"Urgh, whatever. ...I've noticed lately in your videos that you have a tendency to shake it a lot, especially when you're running. ...I know that holding the camera and your equipment can be hard when you're exploring. That's why I bought you this. It's a drone. One that flies and hovers in the air, keeping your hands free. Think of it like a versatile camera or something. ...Yeah, sure. If you need help setting it up, let me know. ...Alright, I'm out. I've got a tournament to get to later today. Enjoy the rest of your day. ...Criss, what did I say about hugging me?"

#hypmic #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic #hypnosis mic oc #hypnosis microphone #criss hiromi #keiko yumi #nikki yoshie #otaku corps #akihabara division #alternative rap battle #hypmic arb #happy birthday criss 2023 #happy birthday #event

[linalilia]

[meet the prisoners!] prisoner 001: miyagawa akio

oh god we're really doing this.

so yeah, remember when i said that i actually have milgram ocs? i'll start posting them now!

here's our first prisoner! his design looks a bit boring, i know, but i think it fits him well! sorry for making him look like mikoto's long lost brother i wanted him to have that "basic anime protag" vibe, if you know what i mean. though his personality is not like that at all, haha. also i'm sorry if the symbols on his prisoner uniform look weird, i'm still trying to figure out how to make them look good and i can't see them that well even though i use references 😔

also, some notes: this story happens before the events of canon milgram project + novel (yes, i know the plot of the novel but i'm not sure where to read it in english, i'm sorry!), so es isn't the guard yet. this time milgram prison has not one, but TWO guards and both of them are polar opposites of each other. one of them wants to vote everyone innocent and believes that they're actually good people, but the other one thinks all prisoners should be voted guilty and all of them deserve to die for their sins.

this time the prisoners are much less sympathetic than the canon ones because if the canon prisoners are kind of "morally gray".. well, maybe these guys' cute designs will be enough to make people vote them innocent :') i will write their mv descriptions, voice dramas and interrogations as well, though honestly, i feel like i actually could try writing songs for them because i like composing and writing lyrics.. but i'm too lazy for that right now djsjsksk.

also almost forgot to mention, don't take their mv descriptions too seriously (or do take them seriously. i'm not your mom), like, for example, if i mention a character being treated badly by someone in the mv, it doesn't necessarily mean that this thing actually happened. it doesn't mean that my characters are able to lie through their mvs, it's more about how they personally saw their crimes. and considering that a lot of my ocs are very dramatic and they believe that they've done nothing wrong.. yeah, trusting their every word is not a good idea.

and if you guys find my ocs interesting, maybe i'll actually do polls where you can vote them innocent or guilty! and if not, that's okay, i already have canon verdicts for them in mind, so :'D it would be fun to see people choosing something completely different from what i expected though

anyway, you can read this boy's profile under the cut!

General info:

Name: Miyagawa Akio (宮川 昭雄) (kanjis in his last name stand for "temple, shrine, palace" and "river" and kanjis in his first name mean "bright" and "hero")

Age: 16 y/o

Gender: Male

Status: Prisoner 001

Birthday: September 4 (Virgo)

Height: 166 cm

Blood type: A

Image Color: #D5C7E5

Occupation: High school student (first year)

Personality: Akio is a very prideful and arrogant boy who has an extremely high self-esteem. He believes he's innocent and refuses to admit that he really did something bad. Whenever his crime is mentioned, he claims that it wasn't his fault and his victim deserved it anyway. However, he's actually very smart and it's easy for him to fool people and make them believe that he really is a good guy. He claims that he was the best student in his class and he's been getting perfect grades since elementary school. He says that he never had any rivals because he was so perfect, however, it doesn't look like he had any friends either. He also doesn't believe that Milgram is an actual prison and thinks that it's all just for show and even if it's real, he's sure that he will never get executed or anything like that.

MV info:

Which canon Milgram song he would cover: It's Not My Fault

Which DECO*27 song he would cover: Reversible Campaign (i wish i could say that i have a deep reason for giving him this song, but.. i don't have one actually! i just like this song a lot and it's very special to me because if i'm not wrong, it's the first deco*27 song i ever listened to (or at least i have many good memories associated with it) so i thought that it would be a good idea to give it to the first prisoner!)

If he could cover a song by a different Vocaloid producer, which one would it be: Abnormality Dancin' Girl by Guchiry (i do have a reason this time, but i think you'll be able to figure it out yourself :))

His MV description: His MV would have this royal theme/aesthetic, similar to Muu's INMF MV with its whole queen bee thing, however, his video would still feel and look completely different. His MV would mostly have dark/dull colors.. until one specific scene.

His video starts with a crowd of people sitting in a room that looks like some kind of a concert hall and even though it looks beautiful and detailed, it's mostly gray and black. All people look like black silhouettes and don't have any defining features, however, judging from their poses, you can tell that they feel awkward or even anxious. And then, suddenly, Akio appears on the stage while dressed like a king. Even though he's supposed to look unique compared to the silhouettes, his colors are still just as dull as the room's. He smiles and starts singing and while he does so, he appears not just as a king, but as other important figures, for example, a movie star, a popular singer, a president and even a god. The lyrics mention Akio being the only person here who's actually interesting, unique, skilled and talented. The silhouettes follow him around all the time and you can actually see them having bright green eyes, but they show them only when Akio does something cool, for example, defeats an enemy, executes a criminal, etc. Everything goes well until Akio notices that the colors of the MV start becoming brighter and he sees that the silhouettes are not really interested in him anymore and they're following a very bright figure that looks like it's literally made out of light. He starts getting more and more nervous as he sees his loyal followers leaving him. There's a shot of him standing with a glass case full of all kinds of prizes and trophies in the background and the glass suddenly breaks right when he sees that figure again. The glass hurts Akio in the process and one of the silhouettes notices it and decides to check if he's okay. Akio sees that this silhouette's eyes are different and they're not green, but pink instead. He smiles and the MV ends with the "more popular student" being executed by Akio, who got his crown back and right when Akio looks at the pink-eyed silhouette and nods, the colors turn dark again and the lights go off.

His Trailer 1 Voicelines:

"My name is Miyagawa Akio. You two.. You two are not much older than me, right? So why the hell do you even have a right to judge us for our crimes? Honestly, I'm the one who deserves this right more than anyone else here."

"He really doesn't know his place, does he? So annoying.. Hey, can you help me out with something? Come on, I know you like me."

Trivia.

He sees himself as innocent and hopes to get a verdict like that as well.

He didn't commit any other crimes except murder and he claims that he had only one victim.

He's secretly embarrassed of his height and wants to grow taller.

He's very proud of being popular with both guys and girls from his school.

He's not really close with any prisoners except Prisoner 009, who's only one year older than him and was quite a popular student as well. Prisoner 002 wants to become friends with him too, but he keeps ignoring her and finds her annoying.

You can think of him as Haruka's "foil" or simply his opposite because of them both being the first prisoners, but having completely different personalities. Haruka constantly apologizes, believes that he brings misfortune to other people and he's not the smartest guy here, meanwhile Akio really was the best student in his class, he never apologizes and takes his words back and he believes that he's better than everyone else. They're also almost the same age, though Akio is one year younger than Haruka.

Even though Akio and Muu's videos (we're talking about the second one) have a similar theme, they feel very different. No matter how much Muu claims that everything is not her fault, she still appears as a monster in her MV and she constantly says how pitiable she is (i am NOT going with the official eng translation) and even if she's a "bad girl", she still asks to forgive her. Akio doesn't feel like that at all and he really does believe that he's innocent and he also doesn't see himself as a monster or any other scary creature, HE LITERALLY SEES HIMSELF AS A GOD. He never asks to forgive him because he thinks that people will do it even if he doesn't ask.

His crime is pretty easy to solve compared to the other prisoners. I wanted to make it more complicated at first, but then I thought that it makes sense for a first prisoner to have a crime that's not as mysterious or difficult to solve as other characters' murders.

#feel free to smash that guilty button if i do a poll for him <3 #or smash that innocent button if you want to encourage his god complex ig #i love him a lot though. he's a very fun character #milgram #milgram oc #also i don't think my usual oc tag fits here SOOO i'm going to tag my milgram oc posts as “linagram” now SHJSSJSK #linagram

[critical-thinking-is-mandatory]

like, I'll be the first to admit that, yes, once upon a time I did like harry potter. I read the books from my school library, and I was excited for the last movies to come out.

But like. Even tho I liked the books, and found it entertaining and fun and kinda cool. They really weren't...very good.

"But you just said you liked them! You said they were fun!" Yeah! I fucking did! I also think Sharknado is fun! Doesn't mean it's any good!

like fuck. Idk if it's just because I like, actually read a variety of books, and especially like. Good kids books, but I wasn't even like 14 before I was reading thru like one of the books and thinking to myself: 'hey. That...doesn't make any sense.' Or 'that's kind of dumb' or even 'but they *literally* had time travel for the sake of hermiones extracurriculars like, two books ago, why the fuck aren't they using it now. When it actually matters?'

Like, it doesn't matter which way you spin it, harry potter is, at best, fun. There's not anything about the writing or the world building or the storytelling that actually makes it into A Brilliant Work Of Modern Literature. Like, I fully acknowledge that it was an important part of my childhood, but it's just that. Part of my childhood. And it's not something I want to carry with me.

And like, I fully knew people *when I was 17* who were studying harry potter as part of their senior literature. This wasn't their decision it was decided for them *by a grown ass adult with a high school teaching degree at a stupidly wealthy school*. And even then! Before I spent enough time on the internet to even get an inkling of the shit jkr does! I thought to myself "your English teacher is a fucking moron".

Like jesus fucking christ! Harry potter isn't the best kids book I've ever read. It's not even the best kids book about a secretly special normal kid who goes to a magic school and is part of a prophecy to destroy some kind of terrible evil! Fuck!

It was fun. But it should have stayed as a mediocre kids book and been a forgotten memory. The fact that there are actual fully grown adults crying over people saying that, actually, hp is and always has been, pretty average. And that "You're only saying that because it's #woke to bully jkr and hp now!"

No. Fuck. Grow up. There has always been people who didn't like hp. Just because not everyone is obsessed with your outdated kids book anymore doesn't make it a personal attack on you. Fuck.

#Not ml #Listen. There are way way way way more good kids books #Especially about magic and fantasy and escape #Than there are plot holes in Harry potter #Like off of the top of my head there is #The school for good and evil the inkheart trilogy Percy fucking Jackson #There's igraine the brave and dragon rider and Rowan of rin and deltora quest #And Mildred hubble and freaking um. Artemis fowl and literally so so so many others #Not everything is about your stupid fucking wizard book

[cyberphuck]

So, about the story of how I met my dad and why I love him so much

@qthewhatever asked me to talk about my dad, how he became my dad, and our relationship. I thought this was going to be a fun jaunt through good memories, with maybe a few grateful tears along the way. But the story of why my dad is so special to me can't be told without the context of why my mother *isn't* special to me, and the stark difference between how he treats me, and how I was treated by her. The cliff's notes version (do they even have those anymore?): Dad became my dad kind of by accident, when Seb and I started "pretending" to be siblings in order to be able to rent a room together. Dad is Seb's dad, so it follows that since I'm Seb's sibling, Dad is my dad too. Then he just... fell into the role, because dads gotta dad. He is always proud of me, no matter what, and no matter how badly I fuck something up he could never, ever stop loving me. He cares about me and doesn't get annoyed by the ups and downs of my moods. He lets me cry when I need to. He lets me take a break when I need to. He loves me, *really* loves me, so totally and completely that even though we look absolutely nothing alike, no one who has ever seen us together doubts that he's raised me from birth. That's not what it was like with my mom. I only got so far through recounting her decades of abuse before I found that I couldn't do it anymore. I'm still going to post what I have, because I think other people should read it and maybe become comfortable talking about their abuse *as* abuse and not "I'm sure I was doing something wrong somehow, and it was my fault they were always so angry at me." Also, I spent a long time working on it. This is not a happy story. trigger warnings: child abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, mental illness, mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, mentions of various serial killers, mentions of psychiatric hospitals, autism portrayed in a negative tone, fatphobia, and brief mentions of drugs and drug use. (this story is also not complete; it stops when I'm around 27, but I added an epilogue.)

My family had been in various financial situations throughout my childhood, but I was raised upper middle class, which was the same tax bracket that my mom had been raised in. My biodad, Ichiro (Dave) left when I was three, and I saw him once ten years later and then never again. So mom raised my older brother Nick and I by herself (except for a 3 year stint with Chris the Coke Addict Who's Dead Now) up until I was thirteen.

I'll admit I was not an easy kid to raise. I was (and still am) weird and awkward and autistic and prone to oversharing with strangers as well as long crying spells over seemingly low-importance things. Nick was also sensitive and somewhere on the spectrum, but it was me who was the loud one, the hyper one, the one who people politely said was a "late bloomer" and "marched to the beat of their own drummer" (at one point my mom told me I was "marching backwards.") I refused or forgot to eat so often that at six I became malnourished enough to warrant a visit by CPS. I was always being called into the principal's office for doing weird shit at school, like making potions out of shampoo and throwing them at passing cars or lion-roaring at boys I didn't like or whatever. When I got sick, I got VERY sick, like the time I straight up got Scarlet Fever and almost died, or the time I had a fever so high I started convulsing, or the lots of times that I had to do fasting blood draws every month because I had a very low red blood cell count and no one could figure out why.

Bottom line I was very weird. Mom was weird too, my grandparents were weird, but they knew how to "show" in public. I didn't. Nick's nickname for me was "The Spaz." Worse, I constantly craved attention and had absolutely no concept of Stranger Danger (I still kind of don't), and the year I was born, Richard Ramirez was active and killing in Southern California where my mom and Dave lived. In 1992, Jeffrey Dahmer was arrested and his apartment full of chunks of Milwaukee's queer community was broadcasted all over the news. In 1978, when my mom was a young woman, Mary Vincent was attacked by a man who picked her up while hitchhiking. He assaulted her and then attacked her with a hatchet, cutting both her arms off above the elbow. She has hooks for hands now. 

To keep me by her side and not wandering around out in the open, mom told me about all this. Everything-- that Dahmer was killing and eating people, that Ramirez tortured and murdered people, and how Mary Vincent had asked a strange man for a ride and now she had no arms. There's a scene in the beginning of *A Time to Kill* by John Grisham where a young black girl is being raped and tortured by two white men. It's a page or two long, but very graphic, and when I was eight my mom sat me down and made me read it to show me what could happen to me if I went anywhere alone.

At the time, we lived in Lausanne, Switzerland, which is not exactly a hotbed of violent crime.

All that aside, I was a cute kid and a good-looking teenager. I was adorably freckly with never-neat red hair, and then grew into a curvy teen with long red hair and wore cute clothes. Mom bragged to people that I was an author and an artist, and she would often tell me that she loved how 'cool' I was. (cool, in this sense, meant wearing the clothes she bought me and not styling my hair in any way she found ugly. She often pointed out ugly people on TV or on the street, and say something like 'I'm glad YOU don't dress like that.') 

I was smart-- I didn't get good grades because I could never get around to doing my homework, but I scored high on tests and most teachers liked me. I wasn't one of the popular kids, but I was always the leader of whatever little gang I was in, deciding where we went and what we did, and mom loved that, too. And she really, *really* wanted me to go into medicine.

Junior and senior year was where it all started to fall apart. 

Mom's husband is a veteran with severe PTSD. 2001 - 2005 were the worst years with him; he was overbearing at the best of times and the fact that he was a boomer from Brooklyn and I was a millenial from LA really didn't help us see eye to eye. But he had a hair trigger and would back me against a wall to loom over you  and scream in your face. Nick, who was taller and angrier than me, would scream back. Once, Nick was sent to the store for parmesan cheese and came home with the powder kind in the green can instead of the tub of the fancy grated cheese, and the resulting shouting match almost ended in a fist fight.

My depression started getting really bad when I was 17. By 18, I started self-harming, and for the first time had the thought that if I died, if I was gone and were nothing, everything would be better. I also had my first hospitalization.

I'm at 21 inpatient psychiatric stays now.

Worse, I was an adult now and had not transferred gracefully from high school to college (to go into medicine, nothing else was enough for her). I didn't even have a graduation-- I tested out of school in early 2003 and the only pomp and circumstance I got was a half-sheet of paper with 'CALIFORNIA HIGH SCHOOL PROFICIENCY EXAMINATION' printed on it. I had gained a lot of weight, partly due to meds and partly from depression and post-school downtime. She told me my hair looked like a rat's nest and once remarked to her husband, 'look at the size of her!' I no longer wore cute clothes and was not actively trying to turn my art or writing into a profitable career. 

Mom and her husband told me that I absolutely had to go back to school again, or they'd kick me out. The closest community college was two counties away (counties in California are really big). They told me they'd only take me to the nearest bus stop (still an hours' drive) and then I'd have to take a three-hour bus ride to the campus. The absolute earliest bus left at six am, which meant that I could only take classes starting at 10 am, and then had to leave by 2 pm to take the bus back home (the return bus did go all the way back to my area, but didn't run as often). 

They treated my trek back and forth to campus every day not with pride or pity, but contempt, as in "this is what you get for not succeeding." I had two more hospital stays.

After a particularly bad episode with mom's husband where he tried to force his way through a door and I had to climb out a window to get to neighbor's house and call 911, I moved out to stay with Nick, who had left about a year earlier. I was determined to be an adult and build a life for myself, but my depression and self-harming got steadily worse, and though I had several jobs and tried to go to college, every few months I'd do some serious damage to myself and end up back in the psych ward, pushing all my plans back to zero.

Nick moved in with his girlfriend, leaving me to shoulder the rent on our room on my own. I managed for about six months, but I couldn't stay at any job for long. I went to live with Skittle, where my depression took such a nosedive that a lot of nights were just spent huddled in a ball and sobbing. I felt worthless. I felt like I was nothing. 

Skittle and I broke up, and with nowhere to go, I moved back in with my mom. There were short periods thereafter that I would move out again, but basically, after I turned 23, I didn't get away from her again for five years.

Mom was never really happy with me again. I helped out wherever I could, going with her to the ranch where her horses were and volunteering to do all the dirty or hard tasks so she could have more time to ride. I did not and still do not like horses and have no interest in riding them. I went to make her happy. I wanted to do whatever I could to make her like me.

(Mom's ranch friends loved me, because I had been taught to show well in public. With them, I was witty and hard-working, and so sweet to come there to help my mom. Didn't I want to get on a horse, just once? No?)

I brought my mom breakfast and her meds when she woke up, so she could lay in bed while they took effect instead of having to hobble to the kitchen. I did chores around the house. I took the laundry to the laundromat twice a week, and brought them home clean and folded. I walked the dogs and took them to the park. 

My mom told me that I was a draw on finances. I started cleaning houses, and eventually lucked into a job cleaning weed for a hefty sum of money. I made enough money in one three-day weekend to buy my own car, which was a good thing since mom's truck was repossessed not long after. I'd gotten the trimming job in November. I sometimes stayed over at the weed guy's house so I could do two or three days of trimming in a row. In December mom told me that all I cared about was money.

Early the next year, my boss was between sales, so he was late paying me. I owed my mom two hundred dollars (I can't remember for what), and she treated me with open hatred for every day I didn't have it. Bitter and upset, I posted something on facebook to the effect of "does anyone know where I can find two hundred dollars so my mom will love me again?" Mom saw it and sent me a message: 

"you want to play this game? better not call for a while I better not see you for a while. a person must learn to keep family business private [Jaydee]."

I also got:

“Just sit there and pretend you’re not here.”

“I’m trying to reminisce about happier times, before all this.”

“You know you think it’s all about you, but I had your brother first.”

“If you don’t like the things I say to you, leave and find someplace with someone nicer.”

“Go get a shrink and figure out why you’re like this all the time.”

[epilogue: the next year, I was planning to commit suicide because I saw no other way out. Seb offered to let me stay with him in Texas; my options were Texas, or death. I pondered that for a while. A few weeks later, I got a refund of a Pell Grant from my college that they'd mistakenly taken two years earlier. Mom and her husband made it expressly clear that as soon as the money hit my account, I was to hand it over to them. Instead, I bought a plane ticket, pulled out the rest of the money in cash, wiped my ass with her husband's face towel, and snuck out with two suitcases in the middle of the night. I had left a note for mom saying I didn't want to be abused anymore and told her I was going to stay with a friend in Central California to throw her off my trail. I also told her that if she ever tried to find me, or bothered any of my friends to get information, I would put all of her secrets and records of her abuse on facebook for all her friends and relatives to read.

I didn't see her or speak to her again for nearly ten years, until this May. Then I flipped her off.]

#tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw verbal abuse #tw emotional abuse #tw mental illness #tw suicide mention #tw self harm #tw depression #tw mental hospital #tw fatphobia #tw my mom sucks