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mommycity · 2 years

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First post is a Gojo thirst Post:

-Im fuckin crazy and I love gold im also down terrible for yhis nigga-

Also warning: fic includes lost of nasty lingo, dom gojo,choking and drinking, reader with fembody. It is Nsfw asf

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Imagine seeing Gojo after his long missions, just a casual get together as friends. A lively bar get together full of clinking shots and drunken stupor. You missed your friend and sense the drinking was on him, well hell, why not? Not like you’ll suffer any real consequence. The loud pacing music and soft buzz of lights fills the bar, everything feels so uncanny. The outfit, tight and short, reveals every inch of your body and accentuates erogenous zones to the mile.

You sip your third shot. No sign of Gojo in sight, “Bastard”. Before anymore damnations of the white haired stallion are thought a barstool creaks loudly next to you. “Ooooo well isn’t someone real pretty tonight? This all for me?” The voice was so recognizable, so playful and teasing. Of course it’s no one other than Gojo, suited in his classic black shades, hoodie and black jeans. It was like he was dressed for a trap music video rather than the club, either way it goes the items were designer, so the type of clothe truly didn’t matter.

“Oh yeah, I put this all on for my dearest Gojo who leaves me in such horrid agony. Oh how I crave your attention-not- get me a drink fuck head” You pout at him. It’s not the first not last time he’s been exceedingly late to a meet up: he was a bit of an enigma. Also popping up when he wants to, texting calling at such bizzare times. Gojo slides you the glass, it’s colorful and smells infinitely less potent and fruity, like how he likes his own drinks,” Something of actual taste, way better than that heavy shit you’re drinking!” He downs his shot immediately and smiles at you with a small flush forming in his face.

The buzz of alcohol does drown the bashing music and lights the fill the building. What really sparks interest in you is the chain he’s wearing. Gold and it sits just below his defined collar bones. It’s such a jarring contrast to Gojo’s cool icy skin and silver hair, such an additive that makes him more attractive than you had thought already. A hand comes to your shoulder, Gojo now sitting much closer laughs at you. “Y/n san~ you’re staring at me so hard. Something you like?” He flashed a tooth grin and pushed his glasses up. “When’d you start wearing gold?”, you ask so abruptly it jostles his frames down as he stops to answer. He leans his face on his hand, propping his head up on his elbow on the glass of the bar table, “pretty recently, real nice it’s really heavy and-“, he pauses and turns to you,” s’ cold to the touch and warms up real easy though. It’s middle eastern.” He sips from his martini rather loudly and the everything in the bar feels drowned out.

“Warms up easy? “

“Mmm- body heat yeah. I wouldn’t put it in the microwave now would I?”

“That’s not an impossible situation knowing you”

He laughs at your retaliation. After all this time, he’s still Gojo, not hardened by months of away from loved ones or too clingy for the exact reasons. He’s just him. The drinks haven’t gotten you drunk, a slight buzz hangs over you. The silence of Gojo drinking his rather colorful drink and laughing with the bartender and you watching his chain raise and lower on his chest as he talked. Something feels different right now, like you’re longing for something- for him. The way his pale skin contrast the vibrancy of the bar lights, his hair settled between the slight glimmer of sweat and the crown of his scalp-or maybe- the chain.

The chain sparks something in you, the subtle shimmer of the reflective material that glistens in the overhead lighting. It calls you, like a magpie to a soda top. Your hand raises to touch your lips. Suddenly a deep, raspy voices prods your ears,” I like your lipgloss, really pretty on you. I see you like the chain, hm? Maybe we can swap views in a better place, yeah?” Gojo was so close to you right now, you could smell his cool vanilla-and-rain scent. The hair on the side of your face is soon tucked behind your ear. For so long you wished you could reach out for his touch, an embrace even a tap from him, a reminder you are a solidifying figure in his life.

Now is such an odd reminder of your early longings. Gojo drags you out the bar after flipping the bar tender a heavy tip. The sorcerers hands are so cold, as you had always suspected. “God, you are such a tease. Staring at me like that public”, he jars before dragging you in his limousine. The leather seats dip with both of your weight. You figure lays horizontal on the cushiony seats as a soft blue light lays above of the both of you. You prop yourself up on elbows slowly,”Gojo, I need you.” All shame was tossed aside. You needed this.

Gojo kissed you roughly, shoving your head into his with the hand behind your head. His mouth still sweet from the martinis, you swipe your tongue across his bottom lip for entree. His opens and the hot muscles explore all the nooks and caverns of each others mouth. You pull away panting and half glazed, so needy for him right now. A pale hand slides up your top eerily pausing to rub circles into the flesh,” Mm Y/N, what makes you so jumpy all the sudden?” He acts so obvious so you could stroke his massive, massive ego. Your palm laid flat against his chest still panting from the heavy kissing, “You- you leave- s’ long. And come back looking so different-“ Your own voice cuts you off as you yelp from a sudden stimulation. Your chest was being played with so roughly with your nipples were pinched and twisted.

Gojo leans to pepper kisses to trace your mouth to your ear. The oddly romantic gesture turns you on even more and your body grinds against his.

“Mmm Y/n” kiss, “You’ve missed me this much” kiss, “You lure me to a bar, in that tight little outfit and don’t even speak to me” kiss

A sudden warm wet feeling was slithered on the shell of your ear. A soft moan escapes your lips as one hand pinches your nipple as the other dips into your bottoms. A husky whisper is cascades your ear canals,” You look so good beneath me. Who’s doing to you right now, who’s making you feel hot?” The sudden shame rushed over you turn your head away from his gaze. A tight circle is drawn over your clit and you moan at the sudden stimulation. Gojo’s hand that once held your chest is now turning your face to face him roughly. He slightly squeezes your face. Your lips pout slightly and he lets out a soft laugh. “You’ve missed me right? You want me to fuck you good?”

You nod excitingly. Of course you do, you’ve let him get you sprawled out all over his lap moaning and begging, letting him treat you like a child before punishment. Yet, it excited you more, being so vulnerable. It’s been so long since you’ve felt his prescence. A soft “mhmmm” drops from your lips but he simply pulls away disapprovingly. “No. You want me to fuck you, then say my name. Say yes Gojo I need you to fuck me good”. The heat of your face is turned to hell. Such a humiliating situation, but it’s so hot. You give into him, moaning lucidly,” Hgnn Yes Gojo please, I need you to fuck me good!”

A pulled your bottoms down and off, tossed somewhere to the side, now fully exposed. Gojo’s retreached hand goes back to toying with your puffy clit. Slick coating his fingers as he pressed ever so slightly on the bud. Gojo turned to look at pussy he was playing with. So pretty, so needy, squelching around his long fingers. He slides his hands down and his gaze returns to you,”Say my name when I touch you”. It wasn’t a request, but a demand. Your shame forced you to swallow all your yelps and cries. The hand on your face is released and back on your chest, rubbing your nipples as he pumps his fingers inside of you.

“G-g ahaah Gojo please”. The fingers return to your clit rubbing small circles. His hands suddenly are off of your entirely and he scoots you off to remove his hoodie. The bastard that is Gojo Satorou removes his hoodie to display every part of his lean body, muscles so finely tone and tightened. The V line of his narrow hips so prominent, it was very fitting for such an interesting character. He unbottons his jeans and pulls his dick out. It’s long, real long and finely trimmed. The tip is rosy and a vein splays the underside with a slight curve. It’s beautiful and fitting for a beautiful man. He laces his fingers behind your hair and guides you off the seats and between his legs. “You’ll suck on my dick since you need me so bad.” The barked order made you cringe at his cruel statement.

The grab the base and blow on the tip before kissing it. Precum smears in with left over lipgloss, this wasn’t the first cock you sucked and you knew how to please a man. But this is Satoru Gojo: flamboyant lady’s men who was had about every type of mouth around him you could think of. Gojo had been glaring darts at you this whole time. The power of having you beneath him strokes ever growing ego, made him feel even more powerful than he already was. What was a king to a God? Gojo stood in that very position as you nipped at his dick, spreading small kisses and licks around the shaft. He grabbed a chunk of hair and yanked slightly, sending a small sting in your scalp,”I said suck. And suck it like it’s a full course meal, show me how bad you’ve missed me Y/N”

The usage of your name floods your brain ever more, like his was desiring only your touch. You lean down taking as much of him as you can. His scent fills your nostrils as your hand works what you couldn’t fit. Spit squelches and dribbles down his balls as you gag your hallowed cheeks around his length, so eager for him right now. Gojo plays with your scalps so lightly, almost a way of appreciating the mess your making to make him feel good. His moans slur out, “S’ good baby so good. You’ve been practicing just for me hm? Those dicks don’t taste like mine do they, they never will”, even in his glazed state he remains boastful. To say you hadn’t imagine Gojo in place of all the guys you’ve had in your mouth would be a sin, you’d wonder off and mentally imagine him ravishing your mouth with his cock, choking you with spitt bubbling at the base. Now your dreams lie true.

So eager so please Gojo, his moans so loud. Your free hand slips to rub your clit as you suck him off. Your tongue flat and slightly folded around the length as your gag reflexes are tested. Your moans vibrate on his length and the hand on your head tightens. Gojo yanks you off with a pop and sighs,” Such an naughty baby. Fingering yourself while licking my cock.” The hand guides you back on leather seats. The view for Gojo was marvelous, you on your back spread eagle, pussy wet and puffy for him. It almost like a high for him, watching your clit jolt almost as if it’s aching to be toyed with. Gojo leans down to breathe heavily and bit the shell of your ear. He grabs his cock and rubs the tip against your clit, smearing precum in with your slick.

Your moans now louder than before fill the limited space. Gojo aligns the entrance and bottoms out. Your eyes close at the intrusion “o-ohho fuaahhhahhhck”. Gojo ate up the sounds you’re making, he hasn’t even moved yet and your meowing so beautifully. So tight, so inviting all for him. Gojo leans over you, chest being level with your face. Your legs wrap around his waist and hug him tightly. All felt warm and tight but most of all, needed. “Hgnn please move”

“Please who? I haven’t a clue who you’re referring to baby”

You tighten at the petname. It’s so degrading yet so romantic. You palms lay flat on his toned chest and your eyes lock with the gold jewlery in front of you. The reason that brought you too here now: the chain, now dangling in your face as Gojo moved his hips to remove his length and slam back into you. The dangle of the glistening metal and his heavy pants and rasp spur you on more, gripping him tighter and tighter. The hand that wasn’t supporting Gojo’s weight is on your clit, rubbing hard and fast. “Say it, who’s fucking you right now, who’s making you feel g-agh- good”. His thrust so sharp as he soaks into your spongy walls. The sounds so loud and lewd, your slick coating his entire length and dribbling down his balls.

“You-haah, you areah ahAH”, you slur out. Your speech incomprehensible as your high is getting closer and closer. His eyes were on you the whole time, mouth ajar as strings of loud moans and groans leave his lips. He’s so provocative it’s like he’s also getting off to himself. “Not-grnn Not enough baby. Say my fucking name. Satoru Gojo is fucking this pussy right now. Rubbing this sobbing clit, crying out for attention! Say it baby, I need to hear you.” You’re so dazed, so stimulated.

The chains luls you into bliss as it swings back and forth. The swings so erratic, truly matching Gojo’s unpredictable thrust. You cry out for him,” Gojo,Gojo,Gojo augh” like a chant for a winning team. You can feel he’s close. His thrust become even more erratic. He smirks, you suck him so good, none of the women he’s fuck take his dick like you do, don’t moan his name like you do, God he’s in such bliss. Hearing the sweet slapping of his balls to your ass, the squelches of your weeping pussy and the moans filling the car makes him so close. You clamp around him impossibly tight and knows whats next.

Gojo adds so much pressure and speed on your clit, thrusting impossibility harder and faster. His cock head mashes your cervix. Lifting himself slightly he takes his other hand and pinches and twist your nipple. “Yea-ahah. Nobody can fuck you like I do. Nobody has you creaming and moaning like I do. My baby, this is my pussy, I’ll fuck it whenever I want. And you’ll take it, you love it. Nobody can fuck you like I can” His words stung your ears as a high pitched moan escapes. Your back arches off the warm leather and you gush. Your orgasm taking over you. Gojo fucks your raw pussy through his own orgasm, panting heavily. The swing of his chain that futhers drifts you in and from reality.

Gojo pulls out and jerks himself off. He cums with a crying moan, it lands all over the slick of your clit and puffy lips. He moves and allows you to catch your breath.

“Maybe I should wear more gold”

#dom!gojo #gojo saturo #fem reader #anime #jjk #jjk x reader #gojou satoru x you #gojo x reader #name calling #h!rny #yep #reader with vagina #gojo x you

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imaginedcreaderinsert · 4 years

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Jason’s Room — Jason Todd x Reader (+ Dick Grayson)

SUMMARY: “Yeah?”You hear music; it’s loud, deafening probably, but you don’t have to worry about waking up your partner.Dick is out patrolling, and the bed is now cold. You try and warm yourself up in the duvet. Still doesn’t help, but there’s a rush that slowly burning up your body.No one talks, but you’ve seen the caller ID; enough to make you worry after checking the time, see if it was an emergency. But Jason seems to be frozen.“Jay, I saw it was you. Everything alright?”

WORD COUNT: 2140.

TW: Angsty, toxic relationship implied. Some cheating can be read, but is not acted on. Jason Todd is not portrayed as a good person on this one.

A/N: I have no excuse for writing this, other than really wanting to, which I think it’s a good step, seeing as I’ve abandoned writing for my own pleasure completely. So yeah, just have this.

LYRICS COMPLETELY TAKEN FROM “Marvin’s Room”, by Drake.

Bitches in my old phone

I should call one and go home

I've been in this club too long

He’s really so fucking drunk. He shouldn’t be allowed to go out on nights like that, but he still does.

(Maybe clinging to the idea that someone will call him up and say “hey, don’t go, I know you’re bad, let’s talk?”.

He’s stupid, really stupid. Stupid enough to-)

No, he’s already drinking up another shot, from that lined up column of alcohol in front of him. Jason’s pretty sure he’s at a new club, but he can’t say for sure: nothing is familiar and yet everything echoes in him for a reason: faces, blurred-out expressions of joy and a world going too fast around him; music beating too hard in his chest, making his heart almost leap out of it; laughter that he’s not sure that’s coming out of him really, even as he feels his smile growing, a charismatic and cocky attitude coming out of him.

He could have anyone he wanted; Jason knows he doesn’t have the suave attitude of the family, and yet “the bad boy” always attracts a certain crowd of girls he feels like he could go in for that night.

Jason knows he could, but doesn’t. His hand moves up and down this gorgeous girl at her side, a bronzed goddess, but his eyes move to check up his phone: no new messages or calls.

It’s obsessive really. It must have been the third time he’s done that since his last shot, but… It’s infuriating to know he’s not needed.

(He is; there’s always that stupid booty call, the fucking vigilante stuff he feels less and less like going in for – it now means something different, something that wrecks him up inside – or the casual reaching out he’s not really interested in deepening.

Just not by that one person he hasn’t heard anything from in the last weeks.

And you said you’d call by now (“in a week or so”), and yet--)

The woman that I would try

Is happy with a good guy

But I've been drinkin' so much

That I'ma call her anyway, and say

“Yeah?”

You hear music; it’s loud, deafening probably, but you don’t have to worry about waking up your partner.

Dick is out patrolling, and the bed is now cold. You try and warm yourself up in the duvet. Still doesn’t help, but there’s a rush that slowly burning up your body.

No one talks, but you’ve seen the caller ID; enough to make you worry after checking the time, see if it was an emergency... But Jason seems to be frozen.

“Jay, I saw it was you. Everything alright?”

“Fuck, I-Fuck, no, I’m-Agh, I’ave to get out of ‘ere… Excuse YOU!” He drags out the vocals; tone is sleazy, lazy, and you would recognize that anyone, of course.

“Are you drunk? Jason?”

You feel incredibly naked, even with your thick pajamas out; you’ve lived this out too many times, and you can almost see him climb your bed.

It’s been a long time since he’s done that, but it’s something you will always remember: the creaking of the wood, springs of the bed, rustling of sheets as he tossed sheets here and there all night.

(The stupid “I love you’s”, the lazy and very drunken make-outs, while groping each other).

“Jason, are you okay or not?”

I know you still think about the times we had

I say fuck that nigga that you think you found

And since you picked up, I know he's not around, oh oh

I'm just sayin' you could do better

Cause even if those VERY BLURRY nights that you can’t almost remember were nice, there were also the others; those which kind of made you hold onto Dick tighter in bed, at dawn when he sneaked in, cold skin, occasionally bruised. He felt so precious and delicate under the first rays of sun, as his dreams started to die under his eyelids, barely any movement in his body save the soft breathing out of his mouth. Too precious, and too yours.

You loved him entirely and completely. He made you feel so happy you wanted to cry at times; there was nothing lacking, not the sex, not the affection.

But Jason doesn’t think the same.

What about the rush, what about the times you’ve had?

“Why you pick up?” I know he’s not there, he implies, but doesn’t say. She knows too. “It’s late. Thought you were now reformed; no phone after 2AM or something like that, right?”

“Some of us have jobs. Unfortunately, I don’t have a fortune to fall back on”.

“Ouch.”

It’s very easy to just talk. They laugh, and she gets up on bed; Jason can picture her, duvet up to her chin, propping up her pillow (the best he’s had), to talk better, while still charging the phone. He hears the rustling on her side, meaning she’s staring at the side he used to sleep in. She always loved to sleep tucked into his chest.

“You still haven’t answered.”

“Right back at ya’. Are you okay?”

A really difficult question for a drunken and very honest man at 3AM in the morning.

If he was a better man, he would wish her a goodnight and hang up; no more talking, no more suggesting, no more playing with fire. If he was a better man, he probably wouldn’t be drunk-texting girls to “cheer him up” after this call, and he would just go home, sleep it off, and go at it again another night.

But he really is not, and it’s too late to go back now. That’s at least what he tells himself, what he tries to entitle himself into: he feels too much, he’s had it bad the last couple of weeks without you. So, he is owed that.

And that is his mistake, for no one is entitled to anything over anyone, no matter their own personal suffering.

“I guess.” Vague; but enough to let her get out, not dig in. Which is really a trap when he knows of your good nature, but he tells himself that it’s your choice (your fault!) for asking about it.

“That’s… Comforting, I guess. Friend calling at 3AM, probably lost and unaware of where he is right now, fucking drunk and in a completely safe neighborhood, I’m sure…”. There’s a sigh. He hates hearing you sigh; it’s always cause you’re so tired of him, he knows, he knows. And he hates himself for it, makes him feel so useless. “Just send me your location, I’ll guide you home.”

‘But aren’t you on Blüdhaven?’, he naïvely wants to ask, just to almost punch himself right after. She means the safe house or whatever place is near, that she might have still saved as her favorite or most usual locations at Gotham.

Tell me, have you heard that lately?

I'm just sayin' you could do better

And I'll start hatin' only if you make me

“So, why you pick up?”, he asks again, just enough sober. His stomach is in knots from the alcohol (and not waiting for your answer, just hearing your voice and talking to you). He’s on a taxi, and the yellow lights on him are making him sleepy. “I answered.”

It’s 4.38AM. Sending a cab there was easy enough once you had his location and Jason swore he wasn’t moving anymore. Bless technology, you think to yourself now a bit irritated for wanting to sleep and not being able to. Your lids are heavy, and the sheets too soft.

“Obviously cause’ I’m an idiot who forgot to silence their phone.” It’s a half-joke. If you had done just like Dick had suggested, you would not be having that conversation. You change sides in your bed, now looking outside, to the window; Jason’s sigh is audible. You almost feel a heavy and ghostly arm bracing you from behind. “If the info is correct, you should be arriving home soon. Wanna hang up?”

“I miss you.”

A beat.

Breath knocked out of your lungs and silence only interrupted by your dramatic mouth breathing. You literally forgot to breathe; that’s how being with Jason used to make you feel.

As exciting and exhilarating every night out or in with him was, it was not good for you. The nights that were good, but the bad ones, really made your feel like shit. And if someone loves you, they will never hurt you. You know, you so know, how bad he’s had it: but that’s not an excuse for his shitty behavior, his stupid harmful jokes or the way he made you feel.

“Jason, it’s been a long week, I know.”

“No, I know, I know-I’m not-I’m not trying to-“. A sigh. His sighs always broke you: too tired, too broken. Jason always had a way with words, but you managed to sometimes kill that off too. “I don’t want to start out anything. I just want to say sorry. I wanted to, but I know-fuck, I really KNOW-“

“Don’t scream, please.” Firm. Cold.

He’s losing you.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m an ass.” He laughs; it’s self-deprecating and you hate it, but you really don’t have the energy right now. “I…”. Nothing comes out. There’s a long silence. Inhale, exhale (“Jason, just breathe, please”): “I love you. Probably more than I would ever admit to do, and you mean so much to me, but I fucked up big time. And I know, I know-” He emphasizes, without elevating his tone. “-I know you’re so happy with him, fuck! It’s disgusting. It’s fucking bizarre to see you two together.” Poison that he spits, that’s eating him out; acid destroying everything inside, every little nerve of sanity still inside. “And yet, I can’t stop-I really think I don’t want to stop thinking on whatever we had, on the kiss we shared-“

“Jay, that was not-“

“No, I know. I know, but we shared it, and it brought me memories, and you closed off! Fuck, I had you to myself, we were-fuck.”

He curses out for a bit. You let him vent, sighing and putting your hand over your eyes, as if to stop everything from happening. No more 3AM calls.

Had it been pretty shitty of you to get with his “brother”? Maybe, but it wasn’t on purpose or with a malicious intent. It really had been pure coincidence that you had hit if off on one of the galas where Jason stood you up, with a considerable hangover and too sick to move anywhere. That, with the argument you had been having more and more often… Jason wasn’t sure you were even going to show up, but there they had met, and he regrets it every day.

(But sometimes…

Sometimes they look so perfect that he thinks they might just have been destined to happen, one way or another. If it was not in a gala, maybe a rescue, maybe a touch on the street, a crush, a rude Gothamite exchange of words as you clashed onto each other.

Whatever. It just happened and now you two were together.)

“Jason, I was never… “Only yours” to have.”

“On that we can agree. We never really settled, and I didn’t ever treat you nice.”

Not like she wanted; he knew. They were just… Casual friends who fucked every two weeks, who occasionally kissed and got jealous over the other receiving attention from the opposite sex (sometimes same sex). Despite what everyone else thinks, he is quickly to see others social intentions; her whispers on his skin, the brightness on her eyes whenever they would do it with such intimacy, the cuddling… No, he knew, of course he did, that she wanted more.

Jason just wasn’t ready for it. He might never be, but it’s not your fault; never was, never will. And he might just have lost forever the one thing he wanted.

But that’s the thing: everyone wants the chocolate scoop. But what they might need for a change is something they’ve never tried before.

“I don’t know what you’re babbling on about ice cream, Jay. I really…”. She’s tired, he knows. From him, from Dick and his waiting (she never really liked him going on rounds); from just having to bear with all the weight of the world on her naked and frail shoulders. “It’s not the time for this conversation. Can we… Talk another time?”

A beat.

Inhale, exhale.

“Yeah.”. Tired, so tired. Lids closing off,. “I’m here anyways, so I’ll hang up…”. Silence; insufferable silence. He closes his eyes for a second. “Have a goodnight.”

“You too, Jason.”

He’s not there, but he will be soon. He hopes for that, at least; everything will be easier.

#reader insert #Jason Todd #jason todd fanfiction #dcu x reader #jason todd x reader #dick grayson x reader #dcu fanfic #jason todd fanfic #dick grayson implied

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calypsoff2 · 3 years

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One. Part 2

Taking in a deep breath, you know how hard it is to not want to pick Imani up and take her up the stairs. Her adamant self-wanting to go up the steps herself, she is doing this one by one too. This is very boring but also tires her out, she is always the one awake, but we have an early flight out. What I mean by that is that we are flying out at four in the morning so these girls will need to be awake, it’s really going to be me holding them and dragging them onto the flight, but it’s getting then to sleep is the issue. It’s barely nine so I hope the other two are attempting to go to sleep “why have you just restarted that!? Imani, you were on the right path” I know this girls isn’t restarting the stair count “doesn’t matter now, we are here” unlocking the stair gate at the top “one, two. I do it dad” can she hell do it, she thinks she can. Pushing the gate open, grabbing her arm and lifting her over the gate, she ran off and of course is going into her sister’s room. Closing the gate behind me, Rylee and Tianna both share a room, we let the girls decide and they wanted that but they argue constantly so I think we will be splitting them up soon, it’s Imani that has her own room but she doesn’t need her room when she sleeps in my bed every time “are you girls ready for bed” looking down at my phone, I have many messages right now that I need to read “dad, we decided” looking up from my phone “Imani, get out of Rylee’ bed now. Yes baby?” Rylee has a plan “we really think you’re terrible at hair, we also think we should do movie night in your bedroom tonight oh and also we should get the phone back” she tries it “no because you both can’t be nice but how about we try and call mommy?” Their faces lit up; I say they I mean the elder two. Imani is just herself “come on, we will do it together, and nobody mentions London, that is the rule ok?” Making my way to Tianna’ be “move up” these little ass beds “dad you’re big” I chuckled getting comfy, Rylee jumped right on me “ah! Damn girl, what is this?” She jumped from one bed onto me “I am getting comfy” Imani eventually made her to me “look at your top mama, you are a mess” she got half her body out of her top, she is crazy. Grabbing Imani and lifting her onto the bed “right, after this. Please girls, go to sleep. I need to pack, and I don’t need the drama” these girls are climbing on me, literally climbing all on me to get the best view. Moving my head to the side to see my own phone, they really miss their mother.

I cringed at the FaceTime not being answered, I did it twice too and the anticipation of her picking up with the girls I felt that and now I feel bad that she didn’t pick up “mom is busy I think” Rylee said “it’s my birthday still” Tianna was quick to add, she really isn’t letting it pass with Robyn not communicating with her “let’s try Mel, auntie is always on her phone isn’t she” trying to play it off, nobody said anything but I tapped on Mel’ name and hoped for the best “I already spoke to auntie though?” Tianna whined out “it’s not about you” Rylee retorted “be quiet the both of you” I felt a sigh of relief when she answered, waiting for it to connect properly “god damn, I look awful” I laughed at the pixelated image “you good, you good” I said laughing “awww is my little angels ready for bed?” Mel said seeing our faces “I am thank you” I answered laughing “negro!” She spat at me, looking from the background Mel is there for what show will happen “ain’t it like the middle of the night there?” I questioned “yep, things happened that had to be dealt with. I miss you girls so much, I really do” that is not the point I need Robyn to speak to the birthday girl “where is Robyn?” I questioned; Mel paused looking away from the camera “Jah! Where is Robbie?” Mel shouted, Tianna little face is really upsetting me right now “Ti, I told you that you need to be a big girl” Rylee said but Tianna is crying now, she is in tears over this “mom loves you Ti” Rylee consoled her this time without being a pain, watching her hold Tianna’ face in her hands, she means business my eldest “she loves us all! Just she has been really busy, we know mom is going to be back soon!” Looking back at Mel; I don’t even care like that now Robyn has no choice but to do this “girls, daddy needs to pee. Tianna baby, mommy is coming to the phone don’t worry” getting up from the bed “Imani, no” she is going to follow me, of course she is.

Imani followed me to the bathroom “Imani, what are you doing?” She is getting unchanged right now “Mel, like what the hell you doing? Don’t you know where she is?” Looking at the phone, she looks lost. Changing the FaceTime to a call instead, placing it against my ear “not that, she is talking to a big boss of LMVH. He’s here so like it’s hard to get her attention, I’ve asked Jah to say but he won’t because of him being the big boss pretty much “Mel, Tianna is crying because she hasn’t said happy birthday to her. I expected her to at least be around for when they go to sleep, why hasn’t she said it to her? I don’t get it, it’s one fucking minute, Imani! What are you doing?” My daughter has really just got butt naked, I died a little inside because the way she is staring at me and peeing on the floor “wow, you’re a nightmare” now she’s made more mess for me “you know what Mel, tell her forget it” I can’t even chase her about this, the cries of Imani now, this is crazy “it’s busy there, I’m sorry” disconnecting the call “why are you crying?” She pointed at the Bath sobbing her little heart out “I want that” she cried pointing “so you peed on the bathroom floor so you can have a bath knowing I am busy already? Thanks” I huffed out, walking to the door and unlocking it. Dragging it open “Rylee!?” I shouted, looking back at Imani “don’t you dare move!” I shouted at her, she fell to the floor and cried more “yeah dad?” She is sheepish; she is up to no good “I would appreciate it if you can get Imani night clothes out for me on her bed and pass me a towel too” Rylee is trying to peak in “is mom not answering? Can we please have our phone?” Shaking my head “just do me that and then go to bed after that” Rylee nodded her head and walked off, Imani is a pain.

All that commotion and Imani making it about herself my two eldest daughters have fallen asleep, in the same bed. I don’t know what they were gossiping about, but they are asleep and that is the main point, I need to pack their things, but I will have a nap before I do “ssshh” I said to Imani, she isn’t asleep. She is really annoying, and I think that’s because she’s like me “let’s go to bed” I still can’t believe she stripped naked, peed on the floor because she wanted a bath, she is something else that girl. My phone started vibrating in my hand, it’s Mel. She has been calling a few times so let me answer this “yo” answering the call “damn nigga, take your time answering” I laughed leaning down to grab Imani’ arm, she is going to run off like she does “I know, busy guy. It’s hard taking care of three kids, you know” I dragged out “I totally understand that Chris, as I was saying that she was with the big boss, and we didn’t want to say anything but now she’s walked off again. But she mentioned it, and when she talks about it she cries, I’m not even putting it on so I think she’s just closed off from it but I guess it’s not possible? My little ninja is asleep?” Sighing out “she is, there is one that is awake though. You know what I will do anything for my daughters, I would stop an event for them” the line went silent, closing the bedroom door “that’s between you both, but she is suffering Chris” Imani ran off as she does, she will be back “I’ll be in London for her event, I know how important this is and the girls will be there. Surprise for her, don’t say it to her though” Mel gasped “no way; she is going to cry. It’s been the hardest time anyways, keep in contact with me. Is TJ coming?” Shaking my head “just me and the girls” Mel cooed out, I am just not happy about this at all “call me though, like I know this has been hard. I just wish it was different for you both, but she is going to be happy to see you all” I feel like not going now “to be honest just don’t let Robyn call me, I don’t want to speak to her. She hasn’t bothered to even care to call Tianna, it’s not cool. Imani! Get out now, I mean it. I am sick” she is being so naughty right now “the favourite, I adore her so much” she should have went with Robyn “then take her, damn” since she loves her that much “is it Chris?” oh Robyn is there, I am not in the mood for her.

There was a silence, while there was I placed Imani on the bed, she can just start getting comfy “I am sorry” that is the first thing Robyn said “I don’t need the apology, it’s the girl that was crying on me all day on her birthday. You are wack for that, I don’t care if you are upset about it she is a fucking child. You’re a grown fucking adult Robyn, are you serious?” I did say I would be good, but I can’t help it “I know, I did call you, but you didn’t pick up. Then I got side tracked with this, I will make it up to her. Don’t be like that with me Chris, when I said I would be away for a while we both agreed, I even said bring the girls here and we can just get a private tutor and you said no, you will keep them there. I am suffering too, I miss them. I am working my ass off while you send me cute pictures and spending time with the kids, I miss that, I do and you’re there judging me” I didn’t even say anything, but she is crying “can you just relax, you need to sleep. Just let me know, keep in touch with me, we are going back to the house, I will tuck her in bed, take care” Mel said, she knows I am judging her. This is why she stormed off the phone crying, I dislike arguing when she is so far apart from me, but it just annoyed me, I won’t call her back or anything, but I will just text her to say it’s ok, soon we will be united and whatever “Imani, why are you like this? I feel like you should have been my son, lay down in bed now” reaching over and snatching the remote from her, she keeps playing about with the TV “peppa pig” she pointed at the TV “my ass, in bed now” her fat ass all out of breath from being a menace.

I literally bought the girls in their nightclothes; I don’t know how I did this, but I did it. They all half asleep just going through the airport but the lady in business class has been so kind and got the girls extra pillows “early start for them” the flight attendant said, I grinned “for me too, I was the one dragging them out, it was a mission to do this. I thought let’s just keep the clothes on and get them on here, we can change after” she cooed out “they are so sweet, exhausted too. They are going to wake up on the plane and going to a different country. Well you are lucky, you have business class all to yourself so if you need anything then let me know” it’s kind of dope that we the only ones in business class, shit is dead as fuck. I was going to get the jet but if I did then Robyn would know, just because Tina would tell her, and I can’t be bothered to tell Tina too, so I just got on a plane but going there in comfort of course. I guess I can relax, the girls are asleep. I can sleep for a little and then start getting them ready once they wake up, I packed a whole carry on case just for this moment. I packed badly but we can always buy clothes while we in London anyways.

My daughters are so beautiful, like it makes me smile how beautiful they all are “dad you really matched us like this?” Rylee said pulling a face “honestly I didn’t do it on purpose, I needed to leave so I saw these Burberry dresses and I was like we got to go, grabbed them and got the shoes. But look how beautiful you look and you want to say thank you to the lady, she did your hair” Rylee looked behind her “it’s not like my mom” Rylee says this all the time “I agree too” the flight attendant said “but thank you, it’s better then my dad” the flight attendant laughed “not a problem pretty” Tianna is watching something on her tablet with Imani at the side of her, she is quiet so I will take that “dad” Rylee sat on my lap “this sounds like you’re going to ask me something, did I ever tell you that your mannerisms is like your mom?” she nodded her head “everyday but mom is amazing, but dad. Ti really wanted a party right, I think we should do a big party. She didn’t want one without mom” raising and eyebrow “you tease her all day every day and now you nice” she laughed “because I can” shaking my head “be nice, but we shall see what we can do. Also you’re going to hate me, I left your phone that you both share at the house, I only got the tablet” now she is not happy “how am I supposed to message my friends now dad!” she got off my lap, well that got her off my lap then.

Rylee and Tianna pushing Imani in the stroller while I deal with the luggage “you two, can you now run with her like that please” I had to put Imani in a stroller, she would run off without a care “I will!” Tianna shouted, walking through the airport with these three is no fun, we had two toilet breaks before we got passed security. The major thing here is that we made it, we are in London “worst part here is I need to pee, but I don’t trust anyone or anything to be just leaving them, so I am going to be a big boy and hold it in “how much more walking dad?” Tianna asked “just a little more, we are nearly there. See the driver is there” I can see my name written “Chris Brown?” he said, nodding my head “welcome to London sir, let me take your luggage” all I can think is thank god but I don’t even know where we are going, I will call Mel and meet up with her “follow me sir the car is just there” looking to the side of me, some random people started waving at the girls “these are Rihanna daughters” waving the girls over “here, come. Let’s go, thanks brother” the driver took the bags for me “let me push the stroller, you walk in front now” this is hectic as hell, I ain’t ever doing this again in my life.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Chrianna Fanfic #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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lastsonlost · 5 years

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Just when you thought this story could not get any more disgusting.

Now we have one slimy disgusting trash person being offended by a whole group of slimy disgusting trash people.

The Des Moines Register reporter fired in the wake of a scandal involving offensive tweets — posted by a viral star he interviewed and then his own — broke his silence Friday, telling BuzzFeed News he had been “abandoned” by the newspaper after following standard editorial practice by performing a social media search on the person he was profiling.

“This event basically set my entire life on fire,” reporter Aaron Calvin said.

Calvin, 27, was dismissed by the Iowa newspaper Thursday evening following criticism online in the wake of his article about 24-year-old casino security worker Carson King.

On Sept. 14 at the Iowa State University vs. University of Iowa football game in Ames, King had appeared in the background of ESPN’s College GameDay holding a sign that said “Busch Light Supply Needs Replenished,” along with his Venmo handle. After King received $600, he announced he would instead donate his growing beer fund to a local children’s hospital. The fundraiser soon went viral, and Venmo and Anheuser-Busch offered to match the donations. King wound up raising over $1 million, and he was quickly catapulted into being a local legend and viral internet hero.

Upon the fundraiser hitting the million-dollar mark, Calvin decided to profile King, whom he’d already covered in several stories. But soon Calvin, who worked as a BuzzFeed employee between 2013 and 2014, found two racist tweets King had posted when he was 16. Calvin wrote that the tweets, which have since been deleted, were jokes “comparing black mothers to gorillas and another making light of black people killed in the Holocaust.”

Calvin told BuzzFeed News it’s standard practice at the Des Moines Register to background check people they profile through court records and social media. “I was reminded by an editor to background Carson...and I found a few tweets that he published in high school that were racist jokes,” he said. “I knew if I found them, other people would find them as well.”

Des Moines Register executive editor Carol Hunter declined to comment for this story, but referred BuzzFeed News to an op-ed she published in which she called “backgrounding” an “essential” part of reporting. “The process helps us to understand the whole person,” she wrote.

Calvin said his editors told him to ask King about the tweets, so he did. "He was deeply regretful, and I recognized that these were not representative artifacts of Carson,” Calvin said.

In writing his profile, Calvin said he decided to include just a “brief mention of these tweets and his apology at the bottom of this profile, after the glowing synopsis of his charity.” The reporter said he felt an obligation to share the information he’d uncovered with the public, but thought he did so in a “thoughtful” way that showed the tweets no longer showed King’s worldview.

He also maintained he did this with the full blessing and awareness of senior editors. “Throughout this entire process of the discovery and inclusion of the tweets, the editor knew, the editorial board knew, and the executive editor knew how I’d included them and handled them for the article, and as far as I knew, approved of that,” he said.

On Tuesday night, before the profile was published, King held a press conference to apologize for the tweets, which he said had been found by a reporter. He said he wrote the posts when he was a high school sophomore and had been making reference to the show Tosh.0.

“In re-reading it today — eight years later — I see it was an attempt at humor that was offensive and hurtful,” he continued. “I am embarrassed and stunned to reflect on what I thought was funny when I was 16 years old. I want to sincerely apologize.”

Anheuser-Busch cut ties with King after the press conference. King said he did not blame Calvin, saying that he appreciated that he’d pointed out the tweets and had simply wanted to apologize. “The Des Moines Register has been nothing but kind in all of their coverage, and I appreciate the reporter pointing out the post to me,” he tweeted.

Upon publishing the story, Calvin said he was immediately met with criticism from people across Iowa who accused him of trying to denigrate a local hero.

But any media ethics debate about the newsworthiness of tweets written by someone when they were a teenager was soon swept aside by a tidal wave of harassment, doxing, and death threats Calvin received.

Soon, influential right-wing media figures also began circulating screenshots of Calvin’s own past offensive tweets that had been uncovered. In posts dating back to 2010, Calvin had used “gay” as a pejorative, written “fuck all cops,” and spelled out the word “niggas” twice when he was quoting others, including a Kanye West lyric. “Now that gay marriage is legal,” he wrote in one 2012 tweet, “I’m totally going to marry a horse.”

Calvin told BuzzFeed News these were “frankly embarrassing” tweets that he “would not have published today,” but said they had been “taken out of context” and were being used to “wield disingenuous arguments against me.”

Calvin said editors at the Des Moines Register directed him to apologize in a tweet, which he said he agreed to do because he was “afraid and just trying to comply with what I was being told so I could possibly hold onto my job.”

In the tweet, Calvin apologized for “not holding myself to the same high standards as The Register holds others.”

“I regret publishing that tweet now,” Calvin told BuzzFeed News. “Because I was never trying to hold Carson to any kind of ‘higher standard’ or any kind of standard at all. I was trying to do my job as a reporter, and I think I did so to the best of my ability.”

As soon as the story broke, Calvin said he began receiving a barrage of death threats. He said HR reps at Gannett, which owns the Des Moines Register, forbade him from speaking to the media and told him to leave his apartment for his own safety. They offered to put him up in a hotel, but he stayed with a friend instead.

“I recognize that I’m not the first person to be doxed like this — this whole campaign was taken up by right-wing ideologues and largely driven by that force,” he said. “It was just a taste of what I assume that women and journalists of color suffer all the time, but the kind of locality and regional virality of the story made it so intense.”

On Thursday, while he was speaking to police about the death threats, Calvin said he got a call from Gannett representatives. “They told me they were going to offer me an option — that I could resign or I could be fired — with no severance,” he said. “It was really a semantic difference, I guess, so I chose to be fired.”

A Gannett spokesperson told BuzzFeed News the company does not comment on personnel matters.

In her op-ed, Hunter, the executive editor, wrote they were now evaluating how reporters perform background checks on subjects and what information should be published from those checks. She said their focus was partly on “the shift in social media culture and how activities on those platforms reflect upon a person’s newsworthiness in general.”

With regard to Calvin’s firing, Hunter wrote that they “took appropriate action because there is nothing more important in journalism than having readers’ trust.”

King did not respond to a request for comment on Calvin’s dismissal.

Calvin said he hasn’t heard from Gannett or his newsroom leaders since his firing, but said some of his former coworkers have reached out in support.

Though Calvin said he regrets his tweets, he thinks they were taken out of context by bad actors to make him look like a racist and homophobe. “As I said when I was speaking with Carson, I don’t think people’s past social media statements should be made to make blanket characterizations about them,” he said.

He also expressed his frustration about the “false narrative about me ‘canceling’ Carson.”

“Carson was never in danger of being canceled — there was no attempt or intent to quote-unquote ‘cancel’ him,’” Calvin said. “He’s raised hundreds of thousands more dollars since this happened. The governor of Iowa declared a ‘Carson King Day.’”

(“You can make a mistake in your life, and still go on to do amazing things,” Gov. Kim Reynolds tweeted Wednesday. “@CarsonKing2, thank you for reminding us all of that! #IowaProud.”)

Calvin said he’s still afraid to go out in public and is still staying at his friend’s house. He isn’t sure what he will do next, but hopes he can keep reporting.

“I’m just taking it day by day,” he said. “I feel like I’m a good writer and a good reporter and I was doing my job to the best of my ability.”

Calvin said he also still deeply believes in the “necessity of local journalism.”

“Frankly, it’s really disappointing to me to be abandoned by my former employer,” he said. “I still in a lot of ways support the Register — I just wish they had believed in me.”

Have you ever read so much bullshit that it made you almost vomit in your mouth?

This motherfucker just try to roast a man's life and is now trying to play the victim after he got a dose of his own hypocritical medicine.

Also BuzzFeed is in rare form today. We have both the right-wing Boogeyman, online harassment and women and people of color being in votes for pity points.

Did you ever see obvious manipulation look so obvious?

#carson king #Aaron Colvin #buzzfeed #call out culture

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blackmissfrizzle · 5 years

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A Tale of Two Soldiers Part 6

Title: A Tale of Two Soldiers Part 6

Characters: Erik x reader, Bucky x reader

Summary: Erik and Bucky come to save you.

Word Count: 5703

Warnings: Sexual assault and sex trafficking (Plesse don’t read if they’re triggers for you even though it does not go into depth.) Violence and a little torture

A/N: no keep reading link since I’m on mobile.

You awoke with a pounding headache, it was worst than the time you were matching drink for drink with Steve. Whatever room you were in the air was freezing and it didn’t help that Marcus or whoever he was working with left you in your lingerie set.

As you were coming to, you heard a murmur of voices. You got up to investigate where the voices were coming from. With each closer step you heard a bunch of:

‘She’s up’

‘She’s coming’

‘Is that Y/N’

‘Isn’t she an avenger’

When you found the voices, they belong to a group of women, scratch that not all of them were women. The youngest seemed to be about 11. All of them were in skimpy shorts and crop tops. Judging from their outfits, your new environment, and your abduction you just got caught in a fucking sex trafficking ring. Great, Bucky and Erik weren’t going to let you out your sight after this.

A young girl with big doe eyes tentatively walked to you.”Are you here to save us? You’re Y/N, the avenger, right?” Her eyes were filled with hope and you didn’t want to tell her the truth and break her heart but you also didn’t want to lie to her and give her false hope.

You didn’t know if it was luck or not but a girl who looked like life hardened her answered for you. “Does she look like she’s here to save us? She’s for sell just like us!”

To make yourself smaller you kneeled down to the other girl’s level. “She’s right. I’m here against my will. But, I got some powerful friends and they’ll find us sooner than later.”

Suddenly, you heard a loud slam of a door and the clicking of heels against the tile floor. A man in a full Armani suit was surrounded by his bodyguards appeared. He seem like the type of man to brag about his accomplishments and flaunt his wealth, especially with women. And if they didn’t do as he asked, he’ll call them anything but a child of God.

“I see that you met your new roommates,” the man stated smugly.

Already tired of the bullshit you punched ole dude in his smug face. In return you received a kick in the gut that caused you to fall to the ground.

Armani suit bent down and jerked your chin so you could look into his emotionless eyes. “They were already ordered not to hit you in the face. We don’t want to damage our money maker.”

“You’re really selling me and these girls? Oh, you don’t know what trouble you just got yourself into asshole.”

“Trouble? I don't think so. You’re gonna be worth more than all of them combined. Someone as beautiful and strong as you. You’re gonna make me a rich man.”

“Let’s say if you get the chance to sell me, you’re not gonna live long enough to spend it. My dad’s a senator, my uncles are War Machine and Ironman, my best friends are Captain America and Black Widow, and my boyfriends are the two most ruthless killers ever. I’m starting to feel bad for you bro.” You shrugged at the man and smirked.

“I knew you were a little slut.” He gripped your face harder to the point you thought he would break some of your teeth and then he gave you a bruising kiss. In return you head butted him, which he seemed to enjoy from his evil chuckle. “I wish I could keep you for myself. Do you know what’s the most satisfying thing about my job?”

“I don’t know. You get your tiny dick sucked? You must be overcompensating for something,” you sneered.

The big bad grabbed your hand and put it on his rather unimpressive hard on.”I assure you I’m not overcompensating for anything.” Great, not only were you kidnapped by an asshole but he was delusional as well.

“Anyway, my favorite thing about my job is dousing out fires. Now, your average sex trafficker wants to get easy girls. Girls who won’t put up fight. But me personally, I like it when my girls got fight in em, because I enjoy putting them out. I love when a break down a girl and make her submit. The more fight she had the better. And you, Ms. Y/L/N are one of the strongest women I ever had and to bend you to my will until I submit,” he took a deep inhale and palmed himself. “I would pay good money for that, but you’re the product and I can’t make money if I use my own product. But no worries, there are buyers out there with similar viewpoints as mines and they’ll pay a pretty penny for you. So, I’m not scared because I’ll have enough money in the world not to worry about your friends and family.”

As Armani suit gave his bad guy monologue, you found a random pipe on the floor behind you. Despite your better judgement you grabbed the pipe and whacked the smug smirk off your captors face. “I’m glad you like your girls with fight because I gotta whole lotta fight in me.”

When he faced you, you finally saw the anger in him instead of that giddiness he had earlier. “Make sure you don’t hit her in the face. Remember that’s our money maker, but everything else is fair game.” While he ordered his men to do their worst his eyes never left yours until he exited the room.

Soon as their boss left, the goons started pounding at you. Some used their fists, some used their feet, some used the butt of a gun, and some used a pipe. No matter what they were using, pain reverberated throughout your body. Although, you were in immense pain you refused to give these monsters the satisfaction of your screams in pain, so you suffered in silence. The only thing that could be heard were their grunts and vile words towards you. It wasn’t until you blacked out with thoughts of Bucky and Erik saving you were you able to escape the pain.

——

Charles automatically noticed something was wrong when you didn’t show for the family photo shoot. Even though you hated doing things like these you were always 30 minutes early, just in case someone needed help with something. So when his baby girl wasn’t there when he got there, he ordered his crazy daughter, Casey to track you down.

That was two days ago and there was still no word from you. HPD inform your parents that they couldn’t find Marcus, who you were last seen with and now he was officially a person of interest.

The whole family was gathered in the living room with the Wakandans, James Warren, Tony, Rhodey, and Detective Johnson from HPD.

“We have an update on your daughter’s case,” the detective informed the Y/L/N family as he handed a folder to your father.

His knees buckled once he saw what was inside. It was photos of you in your lingerie, posed for sell. The pictures got worse as he saw all the bruises on your body.

Your mother got a look as well and she instantly wailed. “Who would do this to my baby?”

Tired of being in the dark, Erik took the photos from your dad. When he saw them he was fuming and he knew just who to blame.

Throwing the photos at Bucky, Erik stormed towards Bucky and sucker punched him.”Its your fault! I was stupid enough to listen to you and let her go to that damn auction! Now look, Barnes she’s caught in a sex trafficking ring!”

Everyone except the Wakandans perked up at the mention of Barnes. “Bucky Barnes?” Tony and your mom questioned.

Bucky was outed now, so he took the nano mask off. “I’m just as pissed as you, Stevens and I blame myself more than you ever could.” Then Bucky turned his gaze towards Tony and your mom, “But all of you have a choice. You either can turn me in over duty or some personal vendetta or you let me be Winter Soldier and bring our girl home and kill those sons of bitches.”

Regrettably, Tony conceded to Bucky. He was far too worried about you to get back at Bucky and he knew how much those bastards needed to pay and the Winter Soldier was what they needed.

“Who took those photos,” Rhodey asked gravelly.

“We believe it’s Richard Dominguez. He just took over the Dominguez crime family and expanded into sex trafficking, which his recently deceased father was against.” Detective Johnson informed the room.

“What about this Marcus nigga?” Erik asked. He was ready to kill someone and if he couldn’t get to Dominguez then Marcus would have to do.

The detective felt uncomfortable under Erik’s murderous gaze. “Umm...we can’t find him.”

“Then what the fuck you niggas good for? Oh wait never mind y’all good for killing innocent black people.”

“Cousin!” T’Challa admonished his younger cousin.

Erik just shrugged his shoulders because he believed he told no lie. He looked at Shuri and nodded his head at her. “Lil cuz, can you find this Marcus dude if we give you his picture?”

Shuri looked at Erik as if he grew a second head. Did he know who he was talking to?”

“My bad, cuz,” Erik quickly apologized once he saw the look on Shuri’s face. “Can you find him quickly is what I meant to ask.”

“Give me the picture and I’ll tell you his last location within 30 minutes, cousin,” the Wakandan princess stated.

Detective Johnson handed a photo of Marcus to Shuri and she promptly went to work.

---

Everything hurt. You were sure that you had a couple of broken ribs. The girls took turns looking after you and in that time they told you who held the group captive. It was some dude named Richard Dominguez and he was fairly new to the game.

The door squealed open and the girls hid in their respective corners. You thought it was Dominguez coming to gloat about the offers he got for you, but it was a woman instead. She reminded you of a Kim Kardashian wannabe. Nothing on the woman was real. Her ass was disproportionate to her thighs, her lips looked as if they were stung by bees, and her tan was so dark that she was nearly the same color as you.

“So, you’re the one my husband can’t shut up about. He keeps on talking about your beauty, but from where I’m standing, darling, you ain’t that beautiful.” The woman sneered at you as she inspected you.

If her physical appearance didn’t put you off, her attitude did the job for you. Annoyed with the woman you sighed, “Don’t tell me your ok with this? And please don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

“Ok? Sweetie, I’m ecstatic with anything that allows me to afford my lifestyle. I would sell my own grandmother if it meant I could live like this. Honey, why would I ever be jealous of you?”

What a delusional one this chick was. You laughed at her and proceeded to read her. “Listen, sweetie, ummm, everything on your body is predominantly features of a black woman and under all that tanning lotion, you’re clearly not a black woman. You literally just came in here and called me ugly for having the same features you have that your plastic surgeon did a botch job on.”

You stood up face to face with Dominguez’s wife and even in your diminished shape she was frightened by you. “I bet your bitchass husband is fantsizing about me while he’s fucking you,” a look of embrassement from the woman confirmed your hunch and you contined. “I’m gonna go as far and say he called out my name on accident. Man, it must suck to be you.”

The wannabe was in tears by now and she ran out the room. Usually, you wouldn’t revel in the fact that a husband was mentally cheating on his wife, but since she was compliant, you didn’t feel an ounce of guilt.

Once again the door creaked open and this time it was Dominguez and he was pissed. He stormed towards you and punched you in the gut. “You made my wife upset, you little cunt! Be glad that you are of value to me or you be dead.”

You knew Dominguez didn’t care about his wife, but she must’ve gave him an earful and that set him off. Holding yourself back, you smirked at the man. “I don’t know what’s worse for you. Me getting to you and killing you or the Winter Soldier and Killmonger killing you. Either way you end up dead and you better pray that nothing happens to me, because those two I mentioned are nothing nice to play with.”

All the blood drained from Dominguez’s face when you mentioned the Winter Soldier. He didn’t know about Killmonger, but he didn’t sound fun and now suddenly he was fearing for his life.

His silence stuck with you and you knew you had him. You decided to taunt Dominiguez some more. “Remember when I said boyfriends? I was talking about them. So, even if I end up getting sold, you won’t be spending any of the money.”

Richard continued to keep his mouth shut as he tried to calmly exit the room. When he was outside the door, he ordered his head of security to hire more guards in case the Winter Soldier came looking for him. Now he had to get rid of you much quicker than he would like to, because he refused to be a victim of the infamous Winter Soldier.

---

Shuri came through and she was able to locate Marcus in 15 minutes instead of 30, and the team had him in their custody no less than 45 minutes.

Bucky was sharpening his knife trying to calm himself before interrogating Marcus when Tony approached him. “I know you hate me, Stark, but I love Y/N, so don’t be mad at her when we get her back. She was just doing what she believed what was right by protecting me.”

Tony held back his disdain for Bucky. He had to admit that he admired how fiercely Bucky wanted to fight for you. “Barnes, I’m not here to fight you. Y/N would whoop my ass if I did right now. I just wanted to say I appreciate how you’re fighting to get her back and that none of this is your fault.” Bucky drew his brows in confusion at Tony’s statement. Did Stark really compliment him?

“I know. I know. It doesn’t sound like me. But you can’t fight at your best if you keep thinking its your fault that Y/N is captured. You were ok with Y/N going to the auction, because you knew she was going to do it anyway. Don’t beat yourself up over that,” Tony advised the soldier.

“Thanks.”

“I still hate you by the way. I’ll just hate you less once we get her back.” Tony effectively killed the chance of any reconciliation between the two and left the room

As Tony and Bucky were having a moment, Rhodey was talking to Erik trying to calm him down. “You can’t just go in there and start beating on the dude.”

Erik looked at Rhodey in disbelief, “Oh, I can’t? Watch me.” Erik was walking to the door that Marcus was behind and Rhodey pulled him back before he turned the handle.

“You need to calm down and do it quickly! I’m not letting you blow the only lead we have on finding my niece. Do you understand me?” This was the first time Erik seen the older man lose his cool. He heard from you how your Uncle James was always the chill one despite how crazy our mom or Uncle Tony could be. So, he knew he needed to calm down for the sake of your uncle.

“A’ight. I’m sorry, man. I just need to find her asap.”

Rhodey understood the young man’s urgency. He clapped his shoulder and warned Erik. “We need Marcus alive. The cops need someone to arrest.”

Erik caught Rhodey’s drift. He wouldn’t he able to kill Marcus but whoever was the real culprit was fair game.

When Erik finally gathered himself together he went to the door where Bucky was at and entered the room. The two killers had to school their faces as they entered the room. It smelled of bodily fluids and the heat in the room made it no better.

Marcus was sitting in the middle of the room in his own mess. He was a nervous mess because he didn’t know who kidnapped him and then the crazies had a jaguar and wolf snapping in his face.

“They miss their mom and they know you have something to do with her being missing.” Marcus instantly recognized the man talking. He was the Winter Soldier and he was casually flipping a knife around.

Soon as he recognized Bucky Barnes, Marcus soiled himself once again. Erik scrunched up his face in disgust and pinched his nose. “Really, nigga? You already pissed now you gotta shit! I bet you didn’t have that same energy when you let Y/N go.”

“Look man, I didn’t have a choice,” Marcus yelled in desperation.

Pissed off, Bucky echoed Marcus. “No choice!” Bucky kicked Marcus’s chair, causing him to fall and have Apollo and Artemis growl in his face.

“Are you really gonna let em eat him?” Erik pointed to the predators.

“They haven’t ate all day and he’s obviously no help. Is that a problem?”

“Nah, it’s chow time.” Erik broke out into a smile while Apollo and Artemis widen their jaws for their new meal.

“She’s in Huntsville! Dominguez has a bunch of land out there, but he has a small army. He’ll know you’re coming.”

“We don’t care!” Bucky yelled already texting T’Challa with the information.

Erik bent down to Marcus. “Before I rock yo shit, why did you betray her?”

Marcus was a sobbing mess by now, he feared for his life. “I had a gambling debt at one of Dominguez’s underground casinos. He said it’ll clear my debt and I could get a little extra if I help him get her. Y/N’s an Avenger, I thought she would be out by now.”

As Bucky heard Marcus’s explanation, he crushed the door knob in frustration. What kind of man traded his friend for money? He took his knife out and aimed it at Marcus and cut off the top of his ear.

Annoyed that Bucky threw the knife so close to his face, Erik reprimanded him. “You had to throw it next to my face?” Bucky nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders and exited the room. Erik quickly followed Bucky after he punched Marcus to silence his wails.

Thanks to Bucky texting the intel while they were still with Marcus, Shuri had the location of Dominguez. Everyone suited up as soon as a plan was formed, even though Bucky and Erik just wanted to go in guns blazing.

“You know we don’t plan on bringing Dominguez alive.” Bucky warned your parents.

Your mother left her husband’s side and for the first time looked Bucky in the eye. “I don’t give a damn. If he’s begging for mercy, you better let him bleed out. Just bring back my baby girl.” Now Erik and Bucky understood where you got a fierceness from.

Both men gave a head nod and a yes ma’am to her and left to go save their girl.

—-

You were getting anxious. If it was just you held captive, you would’ve already escaped and killed Dominguez, but you weren’t. The other girls were your responsibility and you promised them all that you would get them out safely and alive.

“Miss. Y/N, are your friends going to save us?” Lexie, the 10 year old asked you with hope in her eyes.

“Of course, honey. They’ll be here soon. If we get lucky, we might get to see the Scarlet Witch.”

Santana being the pessimist she was told the child not to get her hopes up. You were on the verge to cuss Santana out, but you heard gunshots and the screams of Dominguez’s guards.

A smile broke out on your face, help had came. You ordered the girls to grab the shivs they made in the past days.

All of you gathered together and were approaching the door when you heard footsteps by the door. You pushed the girls behind you and got in your fighting stance.

You abandoned your stance and fell to the floor in relief when you saw Steve, Nat, Sam, and Wanda at the door.

“It’s okay. I got you,” Steve hugged you being mindful of your injuries. You hugged everyone else and asked Wanda where Vision was. She told you he joined Tony and should be here soon.

“This family reunion is great, but we got people shooting at us and we need to get these girls to safety,” Nat reminded everyone.

“Nat’s right. You guys get the girls out and I’ll handle Dominguez.” You offered to your former teammates.

Steve was heavily against the idea. He claimed that you would be outnumber and your injuries would be a clear disadvantage. But you weren’t hearing none of it. You needed to kill Dominguez and your friends couldn’t get caught since they were still fugitives.

In the middle of your argument with Steve, your sword Shuri made for your birthday was suddenly in your hand. Then you heard the roar of Artemis and the howl of Apollo.

You smiled at your friends. “Game time, bitches.” This time Steve didn’t argue with you when you ordered them to get the girls to safety. He knew Bucky was there to save you and nothing would get in his way.

Thanks to your sword being made out of vibranium you easily dodge bullets and sliced through Dominguez’s henchmen. Your goal was to kill your captor and everyone who helped him, and you weren’t leaving the base til you did.

Taking two stairs at a time, you ran into the master bedroom and found Dominguez’s wife frantically throwing clothes, shoes, and jewelry into a duffel bag.

“Materialistic to the end, huh?” Your chuckle halted her packing. Immediately she was begging for her life and in that moment you truly didn’t know if you would leave her alive. You asked yourself WWCAD (what would Captain America do?) and regrettably you only knocked her out with a vase.

As you were tying up Richard’s wife, he came running into the room seeking refuge. Once he spotted you, he pointed his gun at you. “Damn, I thought you would’ve killed her. She knows too much about the operation.”

Dang, this man really didn’t care about anyone except himself. “You know I would say I feel bad for her, but she’s as guilty as you are.”

“Then maybe you should give me the same punishment as her,” he tried to bargain with you.

“Too late,” you stated and then you charged the man.

Your fight ended up in the hallway and near the railing. Dominguez and you were dodging each other’s hits. You lunged to stab him, but he fell over the railing but he grabbed you to bring you with him. You were expecting to feel the coolness of the marble floor, but instead you felt the familiar warmth of strong arms.

“I got you, princess.” Tears threatened to spill out when you saw Bucky and Erik. You kissed Erik and murmur a bunch of I love you. Then you jumped out of his arms and limped towards Bucky to do the same.

Unfortunately, your reunion got cut short by the groans of Dominguez. Erik and Bucky instantly got in defense mode but you had to pull them back. As much as you understood their anger, this was your kill.

You slammed your foot into Dominguez’s chest to stop him from getting up. “Remember when I told you I didn’t know if it was worse for you if I got to you if they got to you,” you pointed towards the two soldiers. He gave no answer, but looked at you in pure hatred.

“Well, I forgot about a third option and I’m gonna go with them, cuz they’ll kill you slower than I ever could.” Confusion and then fear crossed Dominguez’s face as he saw the jaguar and wolf prowling towards him out of the shadows.

While Apollo and Artemis were snarling in his face, you bent down to his ear and whispered, “You know my favorite thing about you douchebag dudes is the fear on your face once you know you lost and how you’re gonna die soon. It’s the best feeling.” You patted his chest as you smugly mocked his first conversation he had with you.

Once you started walking away you heard the crunching and breaking of his bones and his cries of pain as Apollo and Artemis ripped into him.

The adrenaline must’ve stopped pumping through you, because you fell to the ground before either Bucky or Erik could get to you. Blood was seeping out of your stomach when the boys reached you. Each of them were yelling it wasn’t your time yet as you repeatedly told them you were sorry. Luckily, Erik managed to insert a Kimoyo bead into your wound to stop the bleeding. And once again you blacked out as you have done so many times this week.

—-

“You’re very lucky Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N based on all your daughter’s injuries she should be dead,” you heard the doctor inform your parents.

“Thank God!” Your mother praised as she sat in the chair next to your bed.

“Ummm, but is it necessary for them being here?” You could only assume that the doctor was referring to Apollo and Artemis, since you could sense their presence.

“They stay,” Erik ordered leaving no room for negotiations.

A few moments later and you felt your eyes flutter open. No one noticed that you were awake until they heard you groan in pain.

Your first words were where was Bucky and Erik.

Erik left his corner in the room and ran up to you. “Hey, princess. I’m right here and Barnes not here right now. We have too many eyes on us right now.”

Usually you would be understanding, but you didn’t feel complete until you had both men by your side. So, you pleaded with Erik to get him and he was about to comply when Secretary Ross entered your hospital room.

Automatically, you were on the defense and tried to sit up despite the pain you were in. Last time you saw Ross, you cussed him out so you doubted he would be happy to see you again.

“Y/L/N, it’s good to see you’re doing well.”

“What do you want,” you croaked out.

Ross widen his stance in an attempt to intimidate you. “We have reports from the other girls you saved and they said that Steve Rogers and the others were there helping them. Do you know where they have could’ve gone? And please don’t lie, the girls did say you did talk to Rogers.”

Your monitor was beeping quickly indicating the spike in your blood pressure. At this point, Ross was more than a thorn in your side and he was getting dangerously close to be on your kill list.

It also must’ve been your mother’s breaking point, because she jumped out of her seat and was in Ross’s face. “Are you fucking kidding me!!!” Your mama had to be furious to be cussing. You only heard her cuss a handful of times in her lifetime. “My daughter is in the damn hospital barely escaping death and you’re worried about capturing damn Captain America??? My baby girl is right, that heart attack must’ve fucked with your head more than you thought. Now I suggest you get out of this room or that wolf and jaguar are gonna have a new chew toy.”

Ross made the smart decision of leaving the room with no protests. You knew your mom could be scary, but for her to successfully threaten the Secretary of State, she earned a new level of respect from you.

“Damn, Mrs. Y/L/N remind me not to piss you off.” Erik laughed in admiration.

While looking at you and giving you a motherly caress, your mama replied to Erik. “I don’t play about my kids, even the ones who give me the most headaches. So, it’s best you and Barnes remember that.”

You almost couldn’t contain your excitement. That warning your mama gave Erik was also a seal of approval for both of them to date you. Who would’ve thought your mama would be open to you dating an assassin.

For a while you talked with your family. Shannon tried to apologize for unknowingly helping you get kidnapped, but you threatened to burn all her wigs if she tried apologizing again. That quickly got her to shut up.

The nurse came by and told everyone that visiting hours were over. Everyone left except Erik and when she tried to get him to leave, he gave her a deadly stare until she scurried off.

Running your fingers through Erik’s dreads calmed you and him. It was very possible that you wouldn’t have survived and never had the chance to see each other again.

Tears were forming in Erik’s eyes and this was the second time you saw him cry. Between sniffles Erik spoke for the first time since you two been left alone. “I almost lost you, Y/N. That scared the shit out of me. I’m about to ask T’Challa to assign a Dora to follow you when me or Barnes are not around.”

Half of you was grateful that you had a man that cared that much about you, but the other half was annoyed that you were about to get a 24 hour detail after this whole debacle. “I’m safe, E. But don’t you think it may be a little extreme to have someone watching me all the time?”

“Hell no.” Welp, there’s goes any negotiation. You didn’t have the energy to fight Erik on the topic, so you let it go for now.

Erik jokes with you for a bit to lift your spirits, but he knew eventually you would ask for Bucky again. He told you what you already suspected which was that Bucky felt guilty about your abduction and was avoiding you. You told Erik to get Bucky and tell him if he refused to come you would never speak to him again.

Within 10 minutes, Bucky was sulking in your room. Erik excused himself, knowing that you two needed this intimate moment and appreciative that he spent time with you already.

“You two seem really close now,” you pointed out to Bucky after Erik clapped his shoulder.

Seemingly nervous, his metal hand scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, when the girl you both love gets kidnapped it brings enemies closer.”

Bucky made no attempt to get near you and it broke your heart. In the time you needed him the most he refused to be there for you, but you understood it, he was still blaming himself.

“Doll, I really shouldn’t be here.”

“Why?”

“It’s not safe. I heard that Ross came by looking for intel. Someone can come by and turn me in.”

Although, it was a valid concern, you knew that wasn’t the real reason Bucky thought he shouldn’t be there. “I have my own hospital floor and Tony made sure everyone signed a NDA, so try again, Barnes.”

This time Bucky moved towards you and you could see the pain in his eyes. Hell, you practically felt the pain rolling off of him onto you.

Bucky was crying by the time he sat next to you. He laid his head on your stomach and you could feel his tears seeping through your hospital gown.

When he finally composed himself, Bucky spoke.”Fuck doll, if I hadn’t encouraged you to go to that damn auction you wouldn’t be in this damn hospital bed.”

You lifted his chin to get his attention. “I’m only gonna say this once. It’s not your fault. I was gonna go with or without your permission.”

Bucky opened his mouth to apologize, but you held up your hand to stop him. “James Buchanan Barnes if you are fixing those gifted lips of yours to apologize, I promise you I will cut off your dick and you know how much I love it, baby. You wouldn’t want to do that to me, would you, babe?”

Laughter filled the air and it was music to your ears. Bucky’s laugh was low like his voice but it held a certain lightness that Bucky must’ve retained before joining the army.

“Ok no more apologies. But you’re gonna have someone with you at all times just to make me feel better.”

“I basically told her the same thing and she didn’t argue with me,” Erik added while he was standing in the doorway eating some jello-o.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance at the two men. They really thought you were gonna comply with them. “I didn’t argue with you because I’m too mentally tired to do so. But watch, once I’m feeling better I’m cussing both of you out for trying to tell me what to do.”

Both muttered a ‘we’ll see’ and laughed at you. Throughout the entire night the boys kept you entertained and not once did they argue. It was a rare occurrence for Bucky and Erik get along and you hoped for more of it in the future.

Sleep eventually claimed you and you were glad that you had your two favorite men by your side as it always should be

Tags: @blackreaders-assemble @destinio1 @lildashofmelanin @nickidub718 @dumbchick @chaneajoyyy @wakanda-inspired @blackpinup22 @pastelastronomy24 @cyrioussoul @valkyriesnymph @bitchacho25 @yoyolovesbucky @toniilaney @euphoric05 @marvelmaree @dessianna1

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finderskeepersff · 5 years

Text

66.

It’s a sad situation, I am saying this because usually I would have Kyle with me for things like this. He was useless but he was there for me, just me. With all of my people gone to France, I let them go it’s just me but I got some niggas that are aquinted to me in Atlanta “you are different” Omar said “you think” I knew these niggas would be here, how you going to come back to the same place I got you at “I mean it’s daylight” I shrugged “death wish?” looking over at him “I would say it’s me not caring, I have seen too much to care. Also never think, always shoot. Play them too. Also there is more people in the warehouse than they think” putting my car in drive as I drove off slowly “showing your face near me with my family is a no and they did so they must go” driving ever so slowly “aye, you ready sleepy?” Omar spat “he was falling asleep” I saw him, he fell asleep “nah I am good, we going now” putting my car in park “there is more of them?” Omar said, getting out of the car. They using my warehouse that they took over, stupid niggas. I mean you come back here for what, to get killed again. I don’t feel I have been thinking recently, like I have been doing things on instinct but that is me, the real Cassius is like that. Looking behind me “you wait out here, Omar with me” jogging into the warehouse, I can hear them from here. If they was being real they would have niggas all over this joint but they ain’t, this shit has been shut down after that shootout, it is blood stained around here. Fixing my silencer on, they going to wish they never looked at me or stopped me. Walking straight towards them, cocking the gun back “I did say we would meet again” shooting one of them in the head, they all got their gun out at me “you really coming here? You ain’t got shit on us?” their boss said “made decisions yet, you rolling with a nigga that ain’t got shit or me?” I have seen the end of a gun plenty of times.

They all quiet “like that then” moving back a little “there is one thing, never play with your food. You have me here, shoot me” I don’t know why he ain’t “unless you want to join me? Put your gun down and join me” he lowered his gun “in these streets, there is one thing you don’t do, is trust” cocking my gun back as a round of bullets filled the warehouse and before he could get his gun back up I shot at his knee, I like to make them suffer so always the knee. He fell to the ground “never trust a street nigga” kicking the gun out of the away, feeling an impact in my abdomen “shit” I hissed and Omar stood in front of me “you good?” the shooting stopped “fine” looking down at myself, thank god for body amour because that wouldn’t have been good “all gone boss now” nodding my head “make sure this gets cleaned up, I was never going to have these around. I have missed this actually, doing my own shit but come” walking off, I better get back home. Sofia is not happy, it’s the night before Christmas eve and she wants me home.

I can feel it on my stomach still, it’s a numb pain. That hurt actually, they must have shot close by but I don’t know who did “pull up here, this should be it now. See you next year” dapping Omar “for sure” opening the car door as I got out of the car, seeing Kyle’ Range Rover driving towards me, Amira is up at front and at one point I thought he was going to run me over but he drove by, closing the car door. That is now dealt with, I can just enjoy Christmas. I ain’t ever playing dumb, never that. I will kill anyone, I don’t trust niggas but I have to trust a few or I will not get far with shit. It’s cold as shit, I need to go inside and have a shower before Sofia sees me. Unlocking the door, stepping inside “I am back” taking my Timberlands off near the door “I am going to have a shower! I will be back” running towards the stairs before she comes, she hasn’t answered so she ain’t happy but she will be fine, my baby is being grumpy that is all. I am optimistic right now, everything seems good and I am good mentally.

I have slight bruising where the bullet hit, touching it lightly I winced a little. Sofia will question this, I know that. My phonee started ringing on the side, looking over seeing it’s Henry, I ain’t spoken to him in a while actually. Answering the phone “yooo” I said smiling “yoo?” Henry repeated after me “yes yoo, it’s good to hear you. You miss me?” I know he does “causing shit for me no, I wanted to say Merry Christmas and check in on you?” he always thinking of me “well I am happy, mentally I am one hundred. I am excited to be with my family, have an actual family. I am happy, Sofia is happy, Cartier is happy” I sighed out “I am happy” I said again “son, I am happy for you. I am so happy for you, words can’t describe this because I was scared Cassius. But like I said for you, you got love. And you got another baby, remember to call him Henry” I laughed out “sure, but I need help. Help a nigga out, so I ain’t really got Sofia anything, I was thinking of taking her away? I am not sure” he can help me “Cassius, you know her. I think Sofia is happy to be with you but how about you buy her something from you, you choose it. It’s a little late though” he ain’t wrong it is “if I get shoes, that is predictable, right?” Henry laughed “women love shoes, you buy her a outfit, choose it yourself. And say you wearing it for when we go away, is it a big holiday?” I don’t even know “no, a weekend away. Just us, having fun I guess” I think I can do that “well get shopping! Cassius hurry up” I need too hurry up.

Scrolling down my phone, I think I have decided. I am going to take Sofia and Cartier Canada, it looks so pretty there and I know Sofia will love it, it’s not far away either. We can go for a weekend there, as a family. I need to book a place there for us, I am excited now “Cassius, seriously. What are you doing?” locking my phone looking up “nothing, I am getting changed” getting up from the bed, feeling that pain in my stomach again. I hissed out “you got any pain killers?” I asked Sofia as I got up “erm yeah but what is wrong?” walking by Sofia “nothing, I am just in pain with my leg” I lied “I need to go out again Sofia, I promise baby I will be back” turning to Sofia as I walked backwards into the closet “Cassius!” Sofia spat, she is not happy “I need to buy something, please baby. I love you, I will be back” I need to get Sofia some things.

Cassius is actually stressing me out, all he keeps on doing is going out for no reason or he hides the reason why. I am very angry at him, I want family time and his siblings are coming any minute now. I feel like he is running away from seeing them but he ain’t got no choice because he got to sleep in my bed, but other than that. Cassius has been a dream, he is so loving to us. He spoiling me with everything, I can’t wait to show him the Christmas jumper he is wearing, he will hate me again but he will do it for me “Cartier! No!” I pointed at him, I need to get a gate for the stairs because he is going to hurt himself. Cartier didn’t listen and tried to climb but I grabbed him before he did “what are you like, let me put you in the play pen” carrying him to his play pen, then I can finish cooking for my in laws, I am so excited about this Cassius doesn’t understand at all “love you” placing him in the play pen, Cartier whined out because he knows he can’t go anywhere now.

Drying off my hands, finally they are here. It is them because the buzzer has gone off, hearing Cartier crying as I ran around the kitchen counter “baby wait!” I shouted, looking at the camera and seeing them both, buzzing them in. They are going to hate the weather here, it’s so cold. Let me quickly get Cartier, he is crying his eyes out since the buzzer went off “ok, ok! My god Cartier” he is being so dramatic for no reason at all “I am here” looking into his play pen “come here” picking him out of the play pen “mommy is here, let’s go and see your auntie and uncle, hey” wiping his tears “don’t cry baby, I am here” something might have spooked him but he really was crying his eyes, or he was missing me. Shuffling over to the front door, looking down at Cartier his nose is full of boogers now. Unlocking the door, dragging it open “I am back!!” Jasmine yelped out, I moved back laughing “I would hug you but I am so cold, come Josiah. Hurry up, you will make them cold” it is freezing out there, I want the door shut now.

Jasmine rushed to the fire to warm herself up, Josiah is ever so quiet. He hasn’t said hi yet “ok I am warm now, Sofia!!” Jasmine yelped out running towards me “oh my god, you look so well” hugging Jasmine with my one arm “thank you, you look well yourself. Cali treating you so good, you’re very happy. It’s good to see you” I have missed her “same Sofia and you, Cartier Warren!! look at you, don’t you have Cassius grumpy face” Cartier moved away from Jasmine, he does not want Jasmine close “I am so happy to be here, honestly. Josiah stop being a pussy, where is Cassius actually?” I chuckled looking over at Josiah “he is not here right now, don’t be scared. Cassius knows, he is aware. He needed to do something, this is your home too, sit down” I don’t want him to be scared “sit down, god. Stop being like that, Sofia I thank you so much. I didn’t expect to be here. We came with gifts, I am excited. We going to turn up and have fun” she pinched Cartier’ cheeks and he was not pleased she even touched him “that is auntie, stop” frowning at him, Cartier poked his lips out at me “dada been rubbing off on you hasn’t he? You boys are never happy” I swear they take it in turns, now it is Cartier in a mood.

Cartier refuses to go near Jasmine and Josiah, I don’t know if Cassius taught him this or he is just being grumpy “I do hope you both are hungry, I cooked for you both. It’s nothing big but I did make a little something” Cartier used my pant leg to drag himself up “what is it now” helping him up on his feet “awww Sofia, you didn’t have too. Right Josiah? You can’t be this quiet, why you legit scared of him?” Jasmine is so loud compared to Josiah “because I tried to attack him, Jasmine I took sides. This is on you when he comes back” so he does speak “we won’t have none of that here, nobody will be fighting or anything of that kind so just please relax. Cassius is aware, he only went out for something. Cassius knows” I mean he isn’t happy but he knows “and he ain’t happy, I know him. He finna beat my ass, he always does” Josiah thinks that, I wouldn’t let Cassius do that to him “I should have left you at home, you ruining the mood” I think he needs to get over seeing Cassius first.

I am not being funny but if Cassius did this on purpose and went out just to not see these two, I will be so angry with him. I have literally ate with his siblings and yet he is not here, Cartier will be going sleep soon also “oh, he is here” I smiled, finally he is home “don’t piss yourself” Jasmine said to Josiah, shaking my head at Jasmine. Cassius for me won’t “we are in the dining room!” I shouted before he goes around the home, Josiah is so scared of Cassius and it shows. Watching Josiah, he is not looking up at all, barely touching the food I made and I know my food is good “they all come running back don’t they” looking over at Cassius, he is staring at Josiah more than the care for Jasmine is here “well I mean why the hell not” Jasmine said “you know what I don’t get, you in my home and you was trying to come at me. In public too, so now you here in my home. You sat in my seat like a pussy, you ain’t shit. Neither is that dead twin of yours, seeing as you are here” Josiah pushed the seat back as he got up “you coming at me? Come on then, I will lay your ass out on this table. You know what Sofia, you bought him so you sit down too. You fucking useless bastard, I fucking did everything for your ass! You and your dead twin, you couldn’t be loyal for one moment. You step to me, now what? Come on, punch me but you won’t. You snitch, that is all you are. You want to come in my home and eat my food, spend my money. Go and fucking look after your parents! They on the streets nigga, come on! What you doing, and you! You both dickheads, ran off with some money of mine to Cali. You to be a whore and you! To be some fake ass model. You know what Josiah, I am not fucking dumb, I fucking know you!” Josiah is actually moving towards Cassius “I know you! And Jasmine, you a whole fucking liar too. What airport y’all come from LAX huh? Yeah right” Cassius pushed Josiah “more like JFK, I know every move you both do! Don’t lie to me. But Sofia wants family time, well Merry fucking Christmas” he walked off.

Well he didn’t mention a kick off to me “just please sit down” I got up from my seat, running around the dining table “don’t make me chase you” I said, Cassius jogged up the steps. I am already tired from chasing Cartier, cleaning and then cooking but I will chase him up these stairs. Reaching the top of the stairs, I am out of breath but I ain’t even run either “come” Cassius waved me over to my own room “I am coming, what the fuck is your problem” walking by him and into the room “my problem? I hate liars, they lying to you and me, they saw them. What about me? Why should I forgive, fuck them” I sighed out “because they do love you, Josiah is scared and Jasmine is so happy. They saw their parents, and!?” I barked “Cassius you can’t do this” he sniggered walking by me “I will beat his ass but for you, I won’t say shit again. But they lied to you, you need to see it. They had somewhere to go too, stop being nice” I feel so damn sad now.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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ruckusheaven · 6 years

Text

A Coon In A Colorful Heaven- Chapter 2: “Forever is a Mighty Long Time...”

Coon- A black person who is ignorant to white discrimination and unknowingly suffers with self hatred

This chapter continues to follow the eternal story of a man named Damien. When we last saw Damien he had awoken in his own Hell awaiting Judgment. Damien was being judged by his own personal Angel named “Angie”, as she read off a list of his sins that were condemning him to hell; in hopes of having him understand and accept his fate. But during Damien’s judgement Angie saw something “interesting” withing his conflictions. Was it Hope? Confusions? Or maybe she Pitied the poor soul? Regardless of what Angie saw, Damien would soon come to realize that even in Heaven you can still create your own Hell; and that spirits that belong in Heaven, Stay in Heaven...

*A Bright Light Crashed down, dissipating leaving Damien laying on his back*

Damien: *sitting up, rubbing his head* ow that...hurt?

Damien: You can still feel pain in Heaven? I thought in Heaven you couldn’t feel anything ba- *deep gasp*

As Damien looked up he had saw a Realm that many had and still Dream of, yet all are completely wrong. Heaven.. a Realm made of pure imagination. Shapes and Buildings. Clouds and Water. Animals and Tress. Some Buildings that look old and familiar. Some buildings that look..Impossible. Colors of different shades and hues, but somehow all perfectly harmonized. People Flying through the sky and walking around. Some wearing familiar clothes, some wearing nothing at all..

Damien: *eyes start to water* This place is... this place is-

???: Paradise right?

Damien: *looking up* Angie!?

Angie: Hola

Damien: *standing up* What are you doing here?? Are you like my Guardian Angel or something?

Angie: Oh no not at all! that’s a whole nother headache that i’m no longer apart of.

Angie: I’m just here as a guide of sorts

Damien: A guide?

Angie: Yep! as you can see Heaven is literally an endless place of space and possibilities. Souls are scattered all over the place

Angie: Some in places that are highly populated. Some in personal “Zones” or area’s unknown to everyone but them.

Angie: Heaven is a big place, so Angels like me are here to help you find what you’re looking for first, like families and friends or maybe help create your own zone.

*A few feet away from Angie and Damien, another soul crashes down and is greeted with a huge crowd of family and friends*

Damien: wow what a huge family.. why wasn’t anyone waiting for me?

Angie: Ehh... let’s just say that you being here is a surprise,, a very uncommon one.

Damien: *takes a deep breath* wow.. really..

Angie: Yea.. but listen that’s kind of why you’re here anyways. See the reason i-

Damien: Listen you don’t have to explain... i think i get it.

Angie: Do you really?

Damien: Yea... i’m the first of my bloodline to make it into Heaven and it’s kinda big deal.

Angie:

Angie: Boy are you dumb or retarded!? Do you know how huge your bloodline is and continues to be!?!

Angie: And you think that out of the MILLIONS before you, that you’re the first to make it!?

Damien: I mean yea kinda..

Damien: Look im not dumb enough to think that my Ancestors in the B.C time didn’t make it. But from what i can remember about most of my personal family.. most weren’t great people and not enough donated blood to make it into Heaven like i did.

Angie: You’re just so...

Angie: You know what. How about i just take you to their sector, so you can see for yourself. This was kinda the point in the first place.

Damien: We have our own sector??

Angie: Yup and they’ll be more than surprised to see you. I’m very excited to see the upcoming results

Damien: Results? what are you-

*A Bright Light crashes down on Damien, Taking him up to his family’s sector*

Angie: Now what will it be Damien, Peace or Silence?...

*A Bright Light crashes down leaving Damien on his feet*

Damien: -doing here?..

Damien: Angie? *looking left and right* Angie!?

A Young Girl Walking in a distance: I recognize that voice.. i know... i know they didn’t

Damien: *looks and sees the young girl* Hey excuse me can you help me out!?

The Young Girl in the Distance: OOOO! Pam and Craig are gonna flip on this one *A Bright Light crashes down taking her away*

Damien: What in the hell was that about?..

Damien: *walking around* wooow, this place is beautiful

Damien: I can’t believe my bloodline has its own sector. Everything looks different but at the same time familiar.. and there’s so many people here.

Damien: *looks around* aye, aye! Aunt Veronica, Aye it’s me

Aunt Veronica: *Flying by*

Damien: Dam... maybe she didn’t hear me.. she was pretty high up..

Damien: If she’s here i wonder who else is.. *walking around* this place is really beautiful

Damien: omg is that... AYE, AYE! Uncle Lennard, AYE its me man!

Uncle Lennard: *sitting on a bench* aw hell, they done let this negro in

Damien: *walks up* aye uncle, man im so glad to see you here

Uncle Lennard: hey Damien... so they let you in huh...

Damien: Yea man, but to be honest i barely got in. Shawty at the gate said that thanks to my blood donation i saved a few hundred people, so it kinda balanced out everything.

Uncle Lennard: well ain’t that bout a bitch

Damien: Huh?

Uncle Lennard: nothin.. it’s nothin nephew.. *stands up* good to see ya.. *walks off*

Damien: Dam what was that about??

Damien: *walking around* i wonder what was up with Unc just now..

*An All White with Gold Trim Cadillac pulls up next to him*

Damien: *looks up* OMG!!! UNCLE CRAIG!!

Uncle Craig: *looks over* aww hell naw, no they didn’t!

Damien: Uncle Craig its me. What up baby!

Uncle Craig: Yea i see you nigga, they just lettin anyone in now huh?

Damien: Whatchu mean?

Uncle Craig: Aye, All Lives Matter i guess huh

Damien: All lives matter…. *Thinks*

Damien: *flashes back to him tweeting all lives matter against black protest*

Damien: *makes a deep gasp*

Uncle Craig: uh huh, you done fucked up big time nephew

Damien: look that was back in the past. i ain’t-

Uncle Craig: and don’t think we ain’t see those post you made talking mess about dark skin women and what happened between you and Lexis

Damien: ooo wait till yo great ancestors see yo ass *skirrrts off*

Damien:

Damien: *panicking to himself* what the fuck! were they all watching me this whole time…

Damien: *his heart starts to pound fast* no way. no way. no fucking way

Damien: If Uncle Craig is here… then the chances of Aunt Pam being here is-

*A Bright Light crashes down leaving behind The Young Girl from before and Aunt Pam*

The Young Girl: Mmhmm there he is Aunt Pam *points at Damien*

Aunt Pam: You got alot of God damn nerve showing up here! *marches towards Damien*

Damien: Look Aunt Pam i-

Aunt Pam:

Damien: *stumbles back, holding his cheek in shock* that.. really hurt.. alot?

Aunt Pam: GOOD! it was suppose to and i got more where that comes from! *goes to throw a punch at Damien*

*A Young Man Grabs Pams arm and pulls her back*

Young Man: CHILL! This isn’t worth anything!

Aunt Pam: *struggling and jerking around to get free* THE HELL IT IS!!

Aunt Pam: 15 years Damien! 15 years i watched over your trifling disrespectful ass going around hurting whoever and doing whatever you wanted hoping that you’d change one day

Aunt Pam: But after seeing what you did to your Wife and Daughter and the trauma you left behind damaging a whole generation to come. i refused to watch over you for a second more!!

Aunt Pam: LET GO OF ME GOD DAMMIT!

Young Man: *lets go of Pam*

Aunt Pam: You embarrassed me and this whole family! leaving others to clean up the mess you caused… so many souls lost because of you and you don’t even know it..

Aunt Pam: You should be in Hell just like your Father..

The Young Girl: oh shit..

Damien: *lifts his head up in shock* Huh?…

Aunt Pam: Just looking at you just makes me sick

Damien: *falls on his back*

Young Man: PAM!

Aunt Pam: He’ll be fine, im going back to my zone anyways *A Bright Light crashes down taking Pam away*

Damien: *slowly starts to sit up*

Young Man: *looks at The Young Girl* Can you go check on Pam and make sure she calms down

The Young Girl: Sure it might take a few thousand years but that doesn’t really matter now does it. *A Bright Light crashes down taking The Young Girl away*

Damien: not really feeling like paradise anymore…

Young Man: *looks down at Damien* I think we both know she has a right to be angry

Young Man: How did you even get in here?

Damien: Some dumb Angel said my blood donation saved lives so im here now

Damien: But to be honest if this is what i have to expect for an eternity, then i think i was better off in Hell

Young Man: *looks at Damien’s foot* Keep talking like that and you just might find yourself there

Damien: what are you talking abou- *Damien sees that his foot is starting to deteriorate just like in his judgement room*

Damien: HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK!!

Young Man: Relax you still got time.. but you’re only going to stay in Heaven if you belong in Heaven.

Young Man: So that means me and you are going to have to talk

Damien: Who the hell are you anyways!!

Young Man: *leans over and sticks his hand out to Damien* Hi my name is Chris and i’m your grandson.

THE END OF CHAPTER 2

Main Blog

#vol1 #me #my story #fiction #black tumblr #tumblr #writers on tumblr #black writers #black stories #black families #black support #black love #heaven #religion #philly

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sleeplessinsiswati · 5 years

Text

Toxic Masculinity—A Contagious Kind of Pollution

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My bad, I know I’m late.

*grumble and murmuring*

My bad. Look, i said my bad.

*lower murmuring*

Look, in my defense, I had the post locked and loaded on the queue and then my internet went out. Boom. Now can we get on with what we came here for?

_________________________________________________

As you may know about me, bell hooks is one of my favorite authors. She has inspired me, moment after moment and time after time, to grow and love myself and others more wholly and fully. In her writing she uses a combination of autobiographical, common-sensical language and academic, theoretical research to shed light to the various topics. Here, I will attempt to scratch at the masterpieces of her work, and use both theory and my experience to shed the light of truth concerning what I know about what the world has come to refer to as toxic masculinity.

Your story may be different than mine, but toxic masculinity is something that affects each and every one of us. Let me state again, masculinity is not the issue here; there is nothing wrong with “being a man” or being strong or having power. The issue comes in when notions or ideals of manhood force boys and men to be emotionally unavailable, makes us believe we are not enough as human beings, or encourages us to exploit and take advantage of others in an ultimate quest for power. There’s no way around the reality that this is no way to live, and there is the crux of the argument—living. Most of the things that we come to know and associate with being a “man” and “manhood” have to do with survival. Hunting, fishing, fighting, scanning a room and sizing people up, sports, fitness, taking a hit and not complaining, the list goes on and on. Most of these are guys grasping at straws, trying to get a piece, a bit more power than they had before, in order to survive. But this is not living.

This is why the first step to growth, and leading a healthier life absent of toxic masculinity, is reflection. You must look over your life, your experiences and genuinely ask are you living or are you surviving. Patriarchy, being a system where men and masculine energy dominate spaces of power or with power and women, children, and weaker men are seen as inferior and vessels willing to be dominated or controlled, makes us believe that survival is the ultimate resource and that there are constant, looming threats to us accomplishing this goal. Though at times this may be true, it is not always true, and if we walk through life always scanning rooms with balled up fists we doom ourselves to early graves filled with bitterness, emotions we’ve never experienced, and a life devoid of love. There is more to life than reliving childhood traumas day in and day out, but that more does not come without being able to reflect and to heal.

I don’t remember at what point in my childhood I started hating my dad; I know that it was not always that way. There’s a distinctly fond memory I have with him—wrestling my older brother and I, both of us no older than seven at the time, he pinned us down and stood on our chests saying, “ Who’s the man? Who’s the Man?” Gerald and I were half hysterical laughing, half having an asthma attack, and shouting, “ You’re the man! You’re the man!” He laughed saying, “ No, God’s the Man. Say, God’s the Man.” We giggle between gasps, “Okay, God’s the Man!” Mom came on to the scene from the back room of our duplex and looked at Dad with that look that only Black mommas can deliver; we were sorry that we got dad in trouble, but to this day I love that time in my life, I love that memory.

Perhaps it was the pressures of two lives, two similar personalities, and an age difference spanning over three decades that caused there to be so much friction between us; don’t ask me what the first argument was even about, because I couldn’t tell you. I think that it was the silence that ultimately led to it all. Questions not asked by a son out of fear, and questions left unanswered by a father unaware of the shadow his figure casted. What I do know is that early on in my adolescence I became disillusioned with childhood, with being looked down upon and thought to be foolish, and I know it had a lot to do with Dad and things he said, or how he said them. Something as simple as walking into the room that Gerald and I shared, looking around and making an expression, and finally looking at us and shaking his head was all Dad needed to do to express his disappointment. Honestly I appreciated the silent expressions a lot more than the verbal ones, which seemed to have a back-breakingly painful bite to them. Gerald grew to be calloused and joke about it, but I was raw to it; words more than belts and punishments are what would break my spirit. Around fifth grade I realized that love didn’t really matter, or at least it didn’t mean anything—I loved my dad and he kept smoking cigarettes even after my brother and I begged him to stop; I loved my mom but I couldn’t tell her what I felt about the world because she couldn’t protect me from it; I loved my brother but I felt he constantly belittled me, silenced me, and made me feel like I was stupid (I’m sure he took a few pages from Dad’s book, in this way); I loved myself, or I thought I did, and yet I constantly belittled myself, telling myself that in this world I would have to be stronger. Love could not change anything about life, it just made you feel like you couldn’t even more.

Eventually I gave in to this belief system—years passed and I graduated to full blown “I don’t give a fuck about anything”. I was afraid, powerless and with those tools as weapons I was ready for anything at any time because I felt I had nothing to lose; I felt I had lost so much of my soul already, it wouldn’t matter even if I lost my life. Hotheaded athlete, I knew how to mask my shrewd and heartless demeanor with cool, chauvinistic locker-room thuggery. I acted chill, I wanted to be chill, but in my mind, at any moment I was a shoulder bump away from a full blown “nigga moment”, as so accurately defined in The Boondocks. I was a ticking time bomb, an emotionally unavailable mess all throughout high school, and college was more the same with less of the guard rails.

But before we keep going forward, let’s go back. Black Baton Rouge has become well-known in modern society (before the Alton Sterling murder) for one reason in particular, as far as I am concerned, —Lil Boosie. Now, I’m not talking about “Zoom” or “Wipe Me Down” Lil Boosie, that’s mainstream Boosie. I’m talking “Set It Off”, “Murder Was the Case” Lil Boosie; Boosie that I met that one time at the Mall of Cortana and he said, “Wassup, lil niggas” Lil Boosie. That one. The Boosie BR natives knew growing up was trap before trap was cool. Street, gutta, whatever you want to call it, Black BR loved it and they had to have it. Hell the whole world came to love it, but Baton Rouge had to have it so much that they had to mimic it; kids, even, began to walk with certain swaggers, talking lingos picked up from lyrics. It was a damn masterpiece from a mastermind, and there was no escaping it. The problem though, is what this success for one man meant for many boys (like me and unlike me) growing up in that era. Is being a man being that kind of man? The kind of man in these songs? Why do these boys think less of me because I’m not a “man” like they think they are? Do they know they’re faking?

These were the type of thoughts that got me chin-checked on more than one occasion, questioning what someone saw as their manhood, or them thinking I was calling them soft. I was a huge fan of Dr. King in my younger days, nonviolence and all, but I made up in my mind after one good fight that Dr. King must have never been to Scotlandville, Baton Rouge, a day in his life, and that was that for nonviolence as a way of life in my mind. In a classic case of if-you-can’t-beat-them-join-them, I entered the wade pool of cool poses and posturizing. If a scrap came I didn’t think twice about it, and I was willing to take whatever bruises and lumps came with it from the school or the fight. Not like I was built or raise for all’lat, but didn’t seem like there was much other option.

Now let’s press play, back at the start of my university academic career. I had finally made it to the platform where I wanted to be—college freshman, class president, track team, chapel assistant, so on and so forth. And the shit felt as plastic as a maxed out credit card. The aggression, the fight that I had come to know and hate and love—for all its pain and all its suffering, I missed it; it was home, my home. Not much more than a self-righteous leader already, I quickly threw off the mask of who people wanted me to be as the smart, politically correct leader after freshman year, and allowed my passions to roam freely. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, for no reason other than I wanted to.

It wasn’t until I nearly lost my opportunities to continue my studies and was threatened with the potential for never finishing undergrad, that I sat down and contemplated what went wrong, and why. It was then that I had to take a journey through my mind, into my past and confront the decisions I made, the reasons I made them, and the consequences of those actions. It was here that I discovered and acknowledged the pain in my past. The memories of desperately wanting the approval of my father, and simultaneously being pained by not living up to his seemingly impossible expectations; Times where he seemed to be emotionally unavailable hurt me more than any belt whooping ever could; fleeting thoughts of being silenced or crying inconsolably from feelings of inferiority or brokenness. From these starting points I came to resent the presentation of manhood before me in my father, and the power that came with it, with hoping to one day overcome (or overpower) it by whatever means necessary. That bitterness spilled over into other systems of power and I came to resent almost all, if not all, forms of leadership. Being on the lower rungs of the power dynamic at home and the frustration that came with it did not get any better in the world beyond those four wals; I was short, readily referred to as “nappy-headed”, and emotionally vulnerable. The ego bruises and self-esteem damage I received from early on in my public school career led me to believe that I had to become someone powerful, or to have power, in order to not be disrespected. This belief would haunt me from the moment of its beginning up to this very day.

Once I realized this, and I was able to accept that for the vast majority of my life I had been living in my past burdened by unforgivness, that I had not been the person I really wanted to be, I began a journey of learning to become for the first time. It was exciting being able to unlearn ways in which I had limited my own humanity for fear of not being perceived as manly or displaying some form of power, but it has also been very painful at times. Admitting to yourself the damage that you have done to others, the damage you have done to yourself, and the damage that has been done to you is not easy. There are people who to this day I feel I owe apologies to, for things that I said or ways that I treated them, Black women in particular; for the sake of recovering acknowledgement I didn’t receive in my youth but desperately wanted, I took advantage emotionally of women who otherwise loved me, cared for me, and wanted to see the both of us to succeed. Some people, most people, are afraid to look into their pasts and examine the truth of their actions because they do not want to face that there may be consequences to their actions; even towards themselves there is unforgivness and bitterness. The truth is, without confronting our past we are bound by them and they have power over us. Only by being able to non-judgementally examine our actions, accept that they were wrong, and pay whatever toll to move forward, can we begin our journey of healing.

Even I was afraid to begin my journey of unlearning toxic masculinity thinking that I may be vulnerable to the world and it’s threats, but I have come to find my wife and best friend, a life of love and laughter and carefree living, and wholeness through this adventure of learning. Yes, I am now more likely to cry in public and yes I share my feelings more with others, but I now see that instead of living a life silencing parts of who I am and distorting other parts of me to seem more angry or more threatening than I feel, I can just…be.

And that, for me, is enough.

Pain is universal: we all experience it, feel it, and suffer. But the only thing equally as universal, and infinitely more powerful is the healing from that pain; that healing is love. I challenge you to ask what ways has toxic masculinity been a part of your life, and then challenge your self to live a more whole, more alive life. Only by ending this vicious cycle can we stop the pollution of toxic masculinity, and breathe the fresh air of self-acceptance, self-love, and truly show our love for others.

Peace.

#growth

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episodes-ff · 5 years

Text

10. Mandatory

Malik

“Shit!” I hissed fanning the small fire forming on the stove top as I quickly picked up the bacon off the skillet. Moving everything over, I heard footsteps and started setting up the plates. “Good morning.” “Morning.” She yawned scratching her big messy bun. “What is all this?” “Well, I figured I’d delight you with some breakfast and then maybe we can go shopping today?” “Malik, I-“ “I know, I know. Just as friends. I just wanna make sure you have a good day.” I said handing her a glass of orange juice before grabbing some napkins. Feeling her small arms wrap around me, she hugged me close and kissed my back. “Thank you for understanding, Leaky.” “That’s what friends are for.”

Kyla

“Ooh! Does this one look cute to you?” I asked holding up the maxi dress as he texted on his phone. “Yea, it’s aight.” “Malik, you’re not even looking at me!” Looking up briefly, he checked out the dress and smiled. “It’s nice. You should get it.” He said before going back to texting as I rolled my eyes.

Ever since that breakfast at my place, he’s been acting like a total fucking asshole and I’m not feeling that shit. One minute we’re cool, the next minute he’s parading bitches around in my face. What kind of shit is that? If it weren’t for the fact that he drove us, I would have dipped already. Being taken out of my thoughts by giggles, I looked up and saw him in the men’s section flirting with some foreign hoe as I got fed up and headed to check out. “Hi, did you enjoy shopping with us today?” “Absolutely.” I said putting on a fake smile as she rang out my items. “You have a good day and come again!” Walking out of the store and leaving him, I made my way down the path to find the Louis Vuitton store.

“K? Kyla?! Yo wait up!” I heard him calling before catching up to me and stopping in front of my way. “Hey! Wassup with you?” “You! I thought we were supposed to be hanging out today and having fun, but you’ve barely said two words or even paid attention to me. You’re being so rude, Malik, and then you keep bringing bitches in my face! I don’t have time for it!” “Time for what? We just friends, remember? I can’t talk to people and be nice?” “Not in front of me, no!” “Oh, so you’re allowed to dangle these relationships with these dudes in my face and still fuck with me, but god forbid I give my attention to someone other than you?” “Exactly!” “You a real piece of work you know that?” “Well you’re-“ “Oh my god, Malik, is that you! It’s me, Monica!” Some thirsty bitch said interrupting as she came over and gave him a close hug. A little too close for my taste.

“Hey, girl, how you been?” “I’m good! We miss you over at Diamond’s.” “Oh yea? Imma have to come out there and pay everybody a visit.” “We’d love that.” She smiled before looking over at me as I mugged them. “Oh, is this your sister?” “Nah, this is my cousin, Kyla. She visiting from outta town.” He said nonchalantly as I scoffed at him. “Awww, it’s nice to meet you!” Reaching to shake my hand, I stared at it in disgust before she awkwardly took it back. “Well, I gotta get going. I’m meeting a friend for lunch, but I’ll see you around sometime.” “Most definitely, girl.” He flirted as she stuck a number in his pocket and whispered some shit to him. “It was nice seeing you again, Keisha!” She smiled before walking away. Looking back up at him in complete anger, he smiled before walking up and leaning down to my ear. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” He husked as I shivered at his cold words.

Jackie

“You ok, baby?” “Yea. I’m fine, bae.” I asked for the thousandth time but he continued to play like he was cool even though I knew he wasn’t. It’s been a couple days since this whole ordeal that took place and I can tell Quentin is feeling a way about it. I don’t blame him though. How would it look if your significant other got brutally attacked by a person they’ve never met? It would look suspicious as fuck, and though I’ve tried to assure him that we’re not involved in any way, I can tell he doubts me; even more now that he’s out of town. He got his internship and I knew he was happy, but something just seemed off between us and the longer we were apart, the worse it felt. “Did you want me to pick you up from the airport tomorrow when you get home?” “Nah, my mom is gonna come get me. Haven’t chilled with my family in a minute.” “Ok.” “Yea, well listen, I’ll call you some time tomorrow before I board my flight, I gotta finish packing up.” “Ok baby. I love you.” “You too.” He smiked before hanging up our FaceTime call as I sighed. I just need to see him and talk this thing out.

Hearing a thump against my balcony doors, I scrunched up my face and went to go investigate for myself. Opening the door, I stepped out and shivered in my light choice of night clothing. Looking around, I felt something grab me and carry me into my room as I tried to scream but couldn’t due to a hand covering my mouth. Thinking on quick instinct, I bit the hand and lunged my foot back, kicking whoever it was in the groin as they quickly let me go and dropped to the floor. Grabbing my taser, I got ready to stun the sick bastard before stopping as Anthony shot his hand up and groaned. “Wait! Ahh, fuck.” “Nigga, what the fuck are you doing here and why are you sneaking and grabbing folks in the middle of the goddamn night! I should shoot you.” “I came to explain.” He said clearly still in pain as he shot me a mug and got up. “Bitch, don’t mug me. You the one fucking shit up for yourself. Now why are you here? Didn’t I say I never wanna see you again?” He lucky my parents aren’t here.

“Just hear me out, Jackie.” “You got 5 seconds or I’m calling the guards in here.” Referring to Kolita and Kaiden. Sitting nervously, I rolled my eyes. “Aight, time’s up. Get out.” “Have you ever heard of split personality disorder?” He blurred out as I stopped in my tracks. “Kind of. What about it?” “I have it. Have had it my whole life. That’s why I been acting so crazy.” “Ok seriously, Anthony, that’s a bullshit excuse. You know my grandpa suffers from mental illness so for to come in here and use that as an excuse to just fuck everything up is bul-“ I ranted before he emptied his book bag, letting a bunch of pill bottles clatter to the floor. I counted at least fifty as they continued falling from his bag.

Looking up at him, he stared at me sadly as a tear slipped from his eye. “I’m serious, Jacqueline.” Sitting down next to him, I looked down as the room filled in an uncomfortable silence. “I have split personality disorder and bipolar schizophrenia.” “When did you find out?” “A little before my second birthday. I had a really bad temper tantrum and when my parents took me to get checked out, I told them my name was Tyler. That’s when they ran tests and figured it out. I woke up and couldn’t remember anything.” He explained as my heart fell in my ass realizing that I’d lost my virginity to this Tyler personality.

“I try to live a normal life, but on these pills I just battle between feeling like a robot or not feeling at all. I stopped taking my medication over the summer.” “Anthony, why would you do something like that? That’s so dangerous!” Because I’m tired of not feeling like everyone else, Jackie!” He shouted standing up from his seat as he panted heavily. Looking into his eyes, I noticed they were starting to darken as I got up and hugged him. “Just breathe, ok? Breathe.” Steadying his breath, he hugged me back and I looked up to see his eyes back to their normal light brown shade. “Look, I know it’s getting late, but I just wanted to come by and apologize for my actions since the school year has started. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Jackie.” “I forgive you.”

Smiling, he hugged me before grabbing his things and heading back to the balcony doors. “Anthony wait!” “Yea?” “Does anybody else know about Tyler?” “Only my family and the rest of the parents in the crew. I gotta go, I’ll talk to you in the morning.” He said before holding my chin and kissing me deeply. “Thank you for listening to me.” He said before scaling down the wall and running off into the night as I stood in a mix of shock and betrayal. Why would my parents hide something like this from me?

#episodes-ff #fanfiction #Dwayne Deuce #Kiana Ledé #Saiyr Cerai #Crowned #Trilogy

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youreallyshouldtalkmore · 6 years

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The Lion and the Lamb_Part 4

Book two of the Lion and the Lamb series! If you haven’t read The Oasis it might go better if you read that first though you might be able to read this without the prequel.

As usual you can see all the parts listed for this story and The Oasis, along with other fanfics in my Black Panther Masterlist.

Disclaimer: Nothing really as continuing from the Oasis, Erik will be Erik so use of the N-word.

Part 4

Erik tugged at his sleeves, adjusting them, as he gave himself one last look in the mirror. He was dressed in black and gold, his locks braided back.

Erik looked up to see his cousin smiling over his shoulder from behind him. T'Challa had the same outfit, except that it was black and purple.

"Are you ready, cousin?" he asked.

Erik smirked, "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

T'Challa only chuckled as the door open.

"Ohhh, my brother and my cousin both looking fine!"

They looked up to see Shuri grinning. For once she was dressed up to the max.

"Thank you. Did you expect anything less?" Erik grinned then, his gold canines on display.

Following Shuri in was Okoye who opted to wear the red dress that she usually wore for special occasions yet still be functional if anything went down. The spear rested loosely in her hand as she took a step forward inclining her head at her King and Prince.

"Prince N'Jadaka..." Okoye said, "....If I may give you one advice: Don't freeze."

If T'Challa was the type he would have facepalmed as such he only sighed.

Erik wrinkled his nose, "Freeze? I ain't this idiot over here." He jerked his thumb back at his cousin, "I'd never freeze! Such crap..."

"We'll see." Shuri grinned.

"If we are done, we can go now." T'Challa said hoping to curb an argument he could feel getting started.

As Erik had said your wedding was simple and took place in Wakanda's Garden.

T'Challa, Shuri, Queen Ramonda, Okoye, W'Kabi, Ayo and Faraja was the sum total of your main guest list. Oh, yes and M'Baku.

You were surprised at exactly how big and tall M'Baku was. In fact, you had never seen such a man in real life. You'd knew that sport figures could be as big and tall as he was but you only saw them on TV.

He was a bit intimating at first glance but it was quickly clear that he wasn't as he looked. You could see why Erik and M'Baku got along. They both had these larger than life personalities with a sense of humor to match.

"The man lives in the mountains!" Erik was explaining at your banquet.

After dancing awhile, all of you were sitting at a long table draped in white.

You were setting next to Erik and Queen Nakia was sitting next to you with T'Challa next to her. Queen Ramonda was on the other side of T'Challa while M'Baku was sitting next to Erik and W'Kabi next to him. At the moment, Shuri, and Okoye had disappeared. Ayo and Faraja stood on opposite ends of the long table.

There were various Dora Miljae and Jabari stationed throughout the garden but far enough away to give the guests their privacy.

You were absently fanning yourself with your white feathered fan and suppressing a smile as your husband continued. It was still a bit surreal to you to think or call Erik your husband.

"And baby girrrrrl....I've been up there. No self respecting negro wants to live in the cold. Now you see why he got a sense of humor. To keep warm." Here Erik let out a guffaw."

M'Baku looked amused as he said, "It's not that bad. T'Challa was there, he didn't complain."

Erik gave a self suffering sigh, "M'Baku, you should know by now that my cousin is too nice. He would never say that it's 'freaking cold, up here!'"

M'Baku leaned and tried to capture T'Challa's eye on the other end but the King was busy eating some fruit.

Actually a bit too busy....

"I see your point." M'Baku drawled.

You giggled at this exchange and the Jabari leader looked at you, "I should hope Princess, that you do not let him talk you out of visiting my home. It has its own beauty that is clearly not appreciated by everyone...." Here he drawled and looked at Erik.

Erik sucked his teeth, "Brotha, I never said it wasn't beautiful. I just said it was freaking cold. It'd make a nice postcard though."

You elbowed your husband and he shrugged as M'Baku looked back at you, "It's really not as bad as he makes it sound. We do have heating, you know."

"It was still freezing when I was up there!" Erik complained.

"You have no tolerance for cold then." M'Baku smirked.

Erik nodded, "You are absolutely right! And show me the nigga that has the tolerance for cold, raise your hand. Put yo hand down!" he snapped as the Jabari leader started to raise his hand.

M'Baku gave a great laugh as Erik said, "I meant other than the Jabari who are obviously developed a special gene the rest of us don't have, show me the nigga that has a tolerance for cold."

No one raised their hand.

"I rest my case." Erik sat back in his chair and folded his arms.

There were chuckles behind that.

"In any case, Lord M'Baku, I would love to see your home." You spoke with a smile at M'Baku after shaking your head in exasperation at Erik's antics.

"Ahh-hh...." M'baku waved it away, "We are all friends here. No need for titles."

"Then I expect the same." you returned.

"Uh, no, you address my wife as Princess." Erik snapped and you elbowed him, "Behave."

Suddenly a red storm came towards the table and stopped before them. Shuri was trailing behind her, hands locked behind her back and looked like she was in no hurry to catch up. Okoye pressed her palms on the table and gazed at Erik for a long while.

"My love, is everything alright?" W'kabi asked softly.

Okoye didn't even look at her husband as she continued to bore holes in Prince N'Jadaka. Erik gaze back at her steadily, almost boredly slumped down his seat, arms still folded. Shuri stopped behind Okoye with a wide grin.

There was a tense silence and T'Challa looked at his sister, "What did you do?"

His little sister looked entirely too happy. Shuri only rocked on the balls of her feet as a response.

Finally Erik spoke, "Woman, I know I'm fine but you don't get to gaze at me. Now if you wanna fight, let a man know."

Okoye's voice was tight as she spoke, "I now owe Shuri a Disc-trapitor. I don't even know what that is. And I can't pay her money, oh no, I have to go shopping with her for each individual part. Do you know how many parts that is? She told me, 150 parts, if you break it down. Do you know how much I will have to endure because of you?"

"What'd I do?" Erik asked confusion marring his features.

Okoye straightened and glared down at him, "You froze. The one thing that you weren't supposed to do!! I was so sure that of all the things you wouldn't do it would be to freeze."

T'Challa gave a loud sigh and Nakia giggled.

You frowned looking around, "Am I missing something?"

"I didn't freeze!!" Erik cried shooting up to his feet.

"You sure did! When Y/N entered you froze. Brother, had to elbow you, to snap you of it and that was after Y/N arrived at the altar." Shuri grinned.

"Little girl...." Erik warned.

"But who can blame you!" Shuri continued undeterred, "You managed to do something right by marrying a beautiful woman. How cousin in law can put up with you is beyond me. But look at her outfit....you'd be forgiven!"

You were currently trying to hide behind your fan.

The young Princess grinned, "If you didn't freeze, I'd be concerned.....but I knew he would. Oh yes, I knew he would!"

Okoye turned to her, "How! How could you possibly know?"

"Simple...." Shuri said and let that trail.

Everyone was silent waiting for her to continue. You had lowered your fan to look at Shuri.

Erik shifted on his feet and growled, "Little girl, you are trying my patience."

"Sister...."T'Challa prompted. He was a little worried if she kept picking on Erik he would lose it.

"Simple....he is our cousin. Freezing over someone they like runs in the family." Shuri said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Silence followed until M'Baku broke it with a loud laugh. "So that's why it took a few moments to get him to snap out of it-o!! Eh-Eh!"

"Did you notice, Y/N?" Nakia asked turning to look at you.

Y/N shook your head and ducked your head, "No. Not really."

"Cause she was too busy freezing over N'Jadaka!" Shuri hooted.

"I didn't freeze, leave me out of this!" you cried pointing your fan at her, "Besides which, little cousin....I can't wait see the guy that will freeze over you." You shot back.

A pin drop could be heard behind your comment.

"What guy?" T'Challa asked at the same time that Erik said, "You are too young for niggas to be all over you."

"Okay first off, I'm 23 years old! Second, How'd I get into this!" Shuri cried.

"Well you said that freezing runs in the family. So naturally, you will make a man freeze one day!" You said with a smirk.

Both T'Challa and Erik were glowering at Shuri.

Shuri pouted and whined, "Mother...."

Queen Ramonda quietly sipped her drink. "I'm not in this conversation."

"So whose the guy you like? Is he worthy of you?" M'Baku asked with a grin.

"What guy?" Erik asked with T'Challa saying, "Shuri!"

Shuri stomped her feet once and then folded her arms. After a moment a glint entered her eyes that both men missed staring at her, "Well....there is someone...."

She turned slightly so her back was to them to stop from laughing, "He treats me will well. He does when I say, how I say. Every time I say something he never spits back at me. I can enter whatever I want and he responds"

"Who the heck is this nigga!" Erik cried as T'Challa growled.

"What exactly are you telling him to do?" You asked trying to keep from laughing. If the men could see past their red lust they'd see the trap.

Nakia hit you on the shoulder trying to stifle her own laughter. You could see it in her eye, 'Why encourage her?'

Shuri snapped her fingers dramatically, "Love me like I deserve to be love."

"That's it! I will hunt all of Wakanda for this man and bring him to justice!" T'Challa exploded, shooting to his feet.

"This isn't court!" Nakia cried grabbing his arms.

"He has violated my baby sister. I will not stand for this!"

"He hasn't done anything! T'Challa calm down!" Nakia cried.

You were having your hands full as Erik almost halfway around the table. You had your hands around his waist trying to stop him but instead he just dragged you.

"N'Jadaka!! Calm down. You are overreacting!"

“No, I know how men are. Like dogs in heat! He's not gonna make a baby mama out of my cousin. I won't have it!"

Meanwhile M'Baku was howling with laughter, almost falling out of his seat. W'Kabi had stood was trying to be out of the way and trying not to smile.

Ayo and Faraja were looking at Okoye for a silent instruction but she couldn't really decide what she should be doing as she looked at both men who were now on a war path. Queen Ramonda continued to calmly drink her drink despite the chaos.

"People! I don't have a man!" Shuri cried. This made both men pause and look at her.

She shrugged, "I mean unless you count Rameses....."

"Your computer?" T'Challa's voice was deceptionally calm.

Shuri nodded, "Yeah, my computer."

"I'd run if I were you", Okoye suggested.

"Will you protect me?" Shuri asked taking a step back as both her brother and cousin was advancing on her.

She glanced at you and Nakia. Both of you had decided to stop trying to get them to calm down and was now pretending to have an engrossed conversation.

"It’s my duty to protect the royal family." the General recited.

"Okoye!!" Shuri cried as she was chased around the garden with both men on heels.

#black panther #killmonger x reader #black panther fanfiction

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noexit-ff · 6 years

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49.

Looking up at the TV watching Orange is the New Black, it’s another rainy day in Barbados. I was hoping for some sun but no, not today “I am going out now” Rajad said walking with Junior in his arms “it’s raining, why is everyone out when it’s raining? Where are you going?” Junior is staring at Rajad mad hard because he has his glasses on “well I am getting picked up, he was fun until he farted on me so he is stank” I groaned out “does this mean I have to change his diaper?” Rajad shuffled over to me, turning Junior around “no!!” I spat as he tried placing his butt on my face, Rajad busted out laughing “I don’t think he has anyways, just sit Junior on my stomach” I will lay him down so he can fall asleep “I don’t want to move from this couch, the silence is nice” everyone is out for once, on a day where it’s terrible. Rajad slowly placed Junior on my stomach “ooohh you heavy baby, what is you getting fed. It’s those Purees and solids Nana feeding you” placing my arm around Junior to keep him still, my mom is trying to feed him solids but I don’t think Junior is taking to it but the Purees he does kind of like “well have fun” Rajad covered his face and moved closer to Junior, I gasped “what is happening, what is uncle doing baby?” Junior reached up his hand “boo!” Rajad said loudly, Junior let out the loudest giggle. I cooed out “aww my handsome boy, now leave us. I want to cuddle him” he is such a jolly baby now, he loves to play more and I am enjoying it. He doesn’t cry with my family anymore, I am loving it.

Junior is very long for a baby, he is going to be tall when he is older I just know it but I hope the weight drops off but he is so cuddly. Wrapping my arms around Junior as he laid on my chest, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He is playing with the chain around my neck, looking back up at the TV. I am missing my show now, I am just admiring the baby I craved for. He is so perfect, a little wild at times. At night he is being a terror, feeling him moving a little on my chest. I can feel his breath near my jaw, his fat self is breathing heavily. Looking down at him, both of our faces met and I chuckled “what do you want?” nuzzling my nose with his “why are you staring at me like that” he placed his hand over my lips, pressing kisses onto his hand “ba” and he then head butted my jaw “thank you” pushing his hand away from my lips “you forever trying to bruise me, silly butt” he reached his hand up and placed his hand over my mouth again, this boy of mine.

Laughing at Junior, he is so hype for no reason “awww look at my grandbaby, he is going to be a little dancer” holding Junior’ arms and holding him up on his legs “come on nephew, lets get down” I don’t know if Noella put Chris’ song on purpose but she played Kid Ink - Show Me on the TV “Mami you remind me of something, but I don’t know what it is, cause you remind me of something” Noella sang dancing around, Junior let out a giggle and he is actually moving his little butt “get it!!!” Leandra spat, smiling down at Junior loving the attention. Picking him up from the floor, pressing a kiss to his cheek “all the fun you are having handsome” he waved his arms around and then rested his head on my shoulder “awww, I love you” Leandra is still recording “Little Chris, look who is on the TV” Leandra said, Junior lifted his head up “come baby, look” side eyeing Leandra, walking a little “look it’s daddy with yellow hair” Junior stared so hard, he knows his father and with the look in his eyes he sees him. Wiping the drool that dripped from his bottom lip “he’s not about to move his eyes away from the TV you know” the song came to an end early and Chris disappeared from the TV “alright, lets put Kendrick on. Need some of that” Noella said, Junior looked away and then his face scrunched up “awww no, my baby. You a bitch, let’s go upstairs, my poor baby crying” I don’t know who’s feeling more sensitive, me or Junior.

I am really intrigued that Junior reacted that way, he really adores his dad already. It’s heart warming to see but also it hurts me to know that he is missing out. Watching Junior’ eyes slowly close, Leandra had to make him cry. It’s been so long since Junior has seen Chris, I didn’t expect that at all. My phone vibrated in my pocket, grabbing my phone out from my pocket. I know it’s not Chris because I blocked his number, I am not leaving Chris so I had to some way show him what shit will happen. It’s been four weeks, I was only supposed to be here for two weeks. I stayed here, it’s peaceful. I am hiding but I am also showing Chris how lonely he really about to be “Jenny” answering the call “Robz, I just wanted to make sure you are ok for tomorrow. You are coming this time?” I stifled out a laugh “well yes, I am back tomorrow. You meet me at the airport. Did you try and see him?” Chris assumes I don’t know what he is doing but, I still do. My heart is not like that, I am making sure he is ok through people “I did but he didn’t open the door so I am going today with Ant, he is really not wanting to speak to me. I am going for you, Ant said Mijo has been with him. Ant told me to tell you please come back, Chris gets it. The boy is driving himself crazy in that home. I am going there only for you. It’s a punishment he won’t forget” I didn’t even plan on it, it just happened “honestly, I wish I was home now. With my husband, I want that. I didn’t plan this, I didn’t plan to be cancelling a Vogue photoshoot that we was supposed to do together. It didn’t last a day and he was calling my phone but he lasted, he didn’t do anything stupid. Call me, let me know how he is ok” I miss him, it’s been that long that I just want to hug him. My anger is not anger anymore, I just want to talk to him.

Mijo said he was coming back, he’s late and I am annoyed. Rubbing my eyes, the boredom is that crazy I just pace around the house and watch TV. Mijo comes and he drives me to the studio and back, I don’t want to leave the house that much. I don’t want to see people, they hate me and Robyn is god knows where with my son. I have not seen my son in weeks, he don’t even know me anymore. A few days of fun has resorted to this, I feel like shit. I can’t eat for shit, I hear a noise and I think Robyn is back. I am haunted by pictures constantly, I sniffled trying to not cry. The buzzer went off, pushing the seat back, I sit at the dining table because I know that way I will see Robyn when she walks in. I didn’t care to look and pressed the buzzer, making my way to the door. I don’t know what to do, I could be here while she is leaving me with my son. Pulling open the door “my bad, I forgot about your spray cans and paints, I had to go back and” he walked in with the bags “and what?” Jen’ head popped around the door “me” she said smiling, least she can smile “he has been ignoring me but here I am” Ant also walked in, looking outside and the person I want is not here. Letting the door close.

Placing my hands in the front pouch of the hoodie as I walked into the living area, I didn’t expect to have visitors, meaning Ant and Jen “nice new look Chris” she said, sitting down slowly “I don’t really go out so yeah” moving my hands out of the hoodie front pouch “wolverine look, it’s interesting. You look ill, Robyn said to stay at home not kill yourself. Do you eat?” this is why I have been ignoring Jen, I don’t want her here to judge me “well I’m home, she ain’t come home. I wish she would tell me, she is making me suffer. I get it, I did what I did but it’s killing me” Jen looks like she don’t know what to say “like I said Chris, she said stay home but not be like this. The house is clean though” she looked around “I clean up every morning, she may walk through the door. I rather Robyn be angry at me to my face, I can’t do this” Ant put his head down “do you actually eat though? You look bad” I shrugged “I have noodles here and there, I do eat” rubbing my hands together “can I use your bathroom?” Jen asked like she needs to even ask “sure” sitting back on the couch.

Grabbing Maurice’ blanket from the side of me “what do you be doing all day then? Both you and Rihanna have disappeared and nobody knows anything, for now everything is on hold. Your name is being tarnished so being here, away from the outside world is good. But I am here for you Chris, you know I am. I don’t agree with things and you know that, you kicked me out last week because I said no to lean. I love you, you need to get off the shit” throwing my hands in the air “Ant, bro. How else can I think straight huh? Think of it this way, I don’t think about nothing. I got a room, you know in the garage, the office there I paint there. I just keep on painting, sleep here. You know with my son’ blanket then I wake up, repeat. I am waiting around for my wife to come back to me, I don’t know if she is. You think I want to be thinking that, I am trying to cancel the thought” Ant sighed out “son, listen to me. You’re dealing with this the wrong way, I was so angry with you. Females? Nigga, females? Fuck those bitches, they don’t make you happy. Then you kicked me out, you kicked your mom out. You think Robyn wants you like this? A mess, whatever happens. Whatever Robyn does I am here for you, I want you to suck it up and accept it. Nigga you embarrassed her, Rihanna’ name is getting dragged. Laughing at her, she out here saying you changed and you’re not the man they all think and you do this, you need to see it from her point of view” Jen walked back into the living area, she sighed out “do you not sleep in the bed?” she asked “I sleep on the couch” I mumbled “I am fine” rubbing my beard “Chris please stop having lean, I will be truthful with you because you’re a guy I do care about and so does Robyn. She is coming back to LA tomorrow, I don’t know the time. She has been in Barbados all of that time and she wanted me to come here just to see you but I have now told you. I don’t know what she is thinking, that is up to you both but get rid of the lean or be truthful to her, don’t lie to her actually” I don’t believe nobody until she is here, they all lie to me.

I am actually tired “do you know how much noodles I bought this nigga? He lives off it, he chooses not to cook for himself” Mijo piping up “thank you for piping up with the useless information, I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do. I don’t need my mom, dad, you, you and any of you. I just want Robyn back, I will speak to her. I want to see my son, I bet that bald headed little nigga got full head of hair now. The last time I saw him smile at me was a month ago, a fucking month ago! I care, I fucked up but she is fucking me up” I don’t want to cry but I feel the tears coming “she is the woman you hurt Chris, she is the woman you need. Seeing you do that was something I was shocked to see, how you have switched so quickly. You break as soon as Robyn leaves and even then like Ant said, you thought it was ok. You need to think before she comes in this home. She still cares for you and I know my friend, she will be upset to see you like this” wiping the tear that fell “I bet my own son don’t know me like that anymore, I am missing things in his life” shaking my head as tears fell “it’s not late, babies don’t remember shit” Ant said “he hasn’t forgetten you, trust me. You haven’t seen the boy now, I will show you but you need to promise me you will think hard for tomorrow, you need to put your heart into this little boy Chris. We are all still rooting for you, so is Monica” Jen got up from the couch and walked over to me “promise me Chris?” nodding my head “I promise” Jen passed me her phone “this was sent on our group chat” pressing play, my heart fell seeing Maurice on his feet with the help of Robyn of course but he looks stronger at it “he’s changed so much” I said “he dancing to Show Me?” I said as my smile grew, the first time I have felt joy in so long “well he is moving his butt” I chuckled, licking my lips seeing Robyn on the video after so long, I miss her face so much “look it’s daddy with the yellow hair” Leandra said in the video, staring at Junior’ face “that boy hasn’t forgotten you Chris” Jen said, he really hasn’t. The song cut off and Junior looked around all confused, Leandra started laughing and then a cry was heard from him “he ain’t forget me, he looks grown. Man” I sighed out saying, thats my boy.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfiction

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thesagedahlia · 4 years

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😈Future & his 'future'😈

This will be a long one, so I will try to keep my intro short (but I ramble, so whatever). How do I feel about Future? As a Scorpio man with a Sag dominance, he gives me hoe energy. Already. No offense if that's your make-up. He is also a mutable dominant, & if you know anything about mutable energy, it's flighty, it's everchanging, it 'gets bored quickly'. All that Sag energy, with a Gemini moon (it's polar opposite sign) can make a very conflicting & contradicting nature. If you don't know anything about me.. know I don't like fuck nigga/bitch energy. How do I feel about Eliza Reign? I'm no idiot. I know an 'exchange' when I see one. But darling, I wish you would have known better than to allow this into your life, because it is NOT what your daughter needs. With that said, we need to be more responsible with out eggs & seeds, be if we can't love the person we lay down & have kids with (or just LAY DOWN with, & HOP UP with kids), then those kids won't know the proper way to love with a proper raising (& no, you don't need the father to properly love your kids, but you gotta love twice as hard in that case, & if you can't get with something like that, then I feel sorry because that kind of dedication was never given, nor recieved. But neither here nor there, not my business nor place to judge, another convo for another day. Now how do I feel about Future & Lori Harvey...run, sis. He won't change, & all you'll be is another BM. Get out while you still can.

**DISCLAIMER**

I am not declaring, nor am I insinuating, that anything I say in my predictions are true accounts of any of the parties involved. This reading is for entertainment purposes only, & should only taken as such. All in good fun, folks 🤷🏾‍♀️🧿

😈What was the relationship between Future & Eliza Reign?😈

They actually have been dealing with one another for some time, before Eliza got pregnant. Future is the type to play mind games, & he manipulated the situation, however in a way where he would never claim that he was dealing with her. She was actually paid a pretty penny to keep things civil with her, or even 'for her services'. Ultimately Future never made things clear for her, but he was a charmer. I do believe, however, they were dealing with one another up until she announced her pregnancy, also meaning he cut her off afterwards. He was 'the magician' the situation, a trickster, but I feel like the victory was lost for him when he found out about the pregnancy. I feel he is already in a financial workhorse situation, because he has other children with other women, even though he takes his sweet time getting back to them as well. I also feel like he is aware of the fact that he is ducking this woman, but this could be because he believes everything to be a rumor. Eliza has come to a place of acceptance of not being as close to Future as she had hoped, & she is suffering with the heartache in silence. Knowing what she knew when it came to Future, even in the very beginning however, she still decided to entertain him, even though she knew it was nothing serious or that it will end the way that it ultimately did. Why? Financial opportunities. It has become an emotional challenge for her, but I feel she was ultimately cut out by way of an ultimatum; basically being cool with the terms & dealing with Future or being alone. I also feel like she has had to deal with other women that has dealt with Future, or his baby mamas. This other woman seems to be loyal to their situation, & she seems to be reactive off of her emotions, though this seems to be leaving obstacles & challenges on Future, having to deal with much conflict, major sacrifice, & past resentment. For Eliza, this was an emotional challenge for her & much drama. The choice she made was to come out of isolation after finding out she was pregnant, but Future as completely removed himself from the situation by this time. Eliza may have felt as though she couldn't come forward because of the hate train that would soon follow, but I feel she was guided to do so. I feel like regardless of the feedback she would get, she was still confident that she would be able to have a case & still had plans to move forward.

😈What were Eliza Reign's intentions with Future?😈

I feel like Eliza was very intuitive when it came to dealing with Future. She was well aware of the treatment; which seemed to be generosity in turn for pleasure. I don't think she predicted her own outcome for all of this, but to her, she was strictly around because she wanted to be. However it ended, she was going to fight against the backlash & stand up for herself. She would also accept all that is regarding the situation, in whatever way that would have been. I feel like she intended to gain clout from dealing with Future, though she also wanted material gain with him, but dealing with him is an unconventional way of life & I think he was already searching, as he possesses heartbreaker tendencies. He was fully involved with someone else (either he jump off or a BM) which caused Eliza to be casted off to the side. I feel like she knew she would become an outcast based off the fact that she doesn't need embarrassments or unwanted ties to certain women, but she's aware he always had other hoes. That didn't stop her however, because she was willing to be invested by him; she kind of had more of an emotional approach to their involvement, which became a disadvantage. Future was negative energy, but she was still a willing participant up until they became estranged from one another. I think that now, her intentions are to get support of her child because she is sure of her contact with Future, thus came about the lawsuit.

😈Future's feeling toward Eliza + the lawsuit?😈

Future doesn't believe Eliza has genuine intentions. He feel she is scorn after he stopped dealing with her. He also believes she tried to trap him, & is only after him for money/material gain. He really wants to be released from this situation/lawsuit because it is going to be a nightmare dealing with another child support check/BM. He has been doing all he can to skip out on the responsibility. He's seeing that being involved with Eliza was a bad choice on his part, & he would rather not have dealt with her at all. He is really fighting on not to have to pay her, & it may be a little on the side of not being sure about if her daughter is his. He didn't even want to have to deal with any of this in the public eye. His feelings are very clear cut; he doesn't want to have to pay her a dime. He also doesn't trust her & feel she's trying to manipulate the situation into her favor. He feels it is all speculation at this point. I do feel, however, if he was sure about the child's paternity, he wouldn't have a choice; he is fiercely fighting that possibility as much as possible. I feel like he would step up, in reluctance, to help support the child, but not any soon before he is sure that she is his child. He doesn't have any love for Eliza, in fact he thinks she's a manipulator, but he would come around to filling his responsibility. I feel he will be willing to claim the child once it is proven that he is, & when he becomes more comfortable with the idea of dealing with Eliza. It would be especially hard for him to coparent in that regard as well.

😈Does Future believe the baby girl is his?😈

He's aware of her 'type of woman' & he does believe she could be trying to stick the baby on him. If she is his, he would suck it up & handle his responsibility, but I don't think he truly believes he's the father, in fact he truly believes he isn't. I feel like he has trouble opening up to the idea of being the dad. He will be loyal to the child if it comes out that he is, but he honestly doesn't know; like I said before, he was hoping that this was all going to go away. He is aware that he is going to have to take this one to the chin, but it will make him uncomfortable. This will be conflicting to him, but he will be forced to step up to the plate whether he likes it or not.

😈Is there a possibility that Eliza's daughter is NOT Future's?😈

Not trying to be messy....but yes; this is giving me the energy that there is confusion around the paternity of the baby. Things honestly look deeper than what they appear on the surface, in fact, per her lifestyle, she has come in contact with more than just Future around the time of conception. Eliza seems to be a little cunning in this situation, because just as Future is unsure, she isn't sure either. Her strategy was to allow the information (or knowledge) of pregnancy to be enough to draw Future back to pay his dues. Truth be told, she was aware of the situation she was in, prior to claiming Future to be the father. Eliza is aware that this was something she created & she is focused on taking care of her daughter in spite of the paternity figure (whoever it may be). Being unsure has caused her distress and stress as well.

😈Outcome of the Lawsuit?😈

I feel like more secrets or incriminating information will continue to come up in this case, & a lot of it feels like revelation; things coming to the light. Future also knows he's in hot shit if he doesn't heed the warnings of the judge. I feel like Future is going to have difficulties in fulfilling his responsibilities, & it is going to financially drain him. I feel these are worries if he is the father. He is very much nervous about being dominated by these challenges of this case, but he will get to a point where he would put forth the effort that he has lacked in the past. If it comes back that he is the father, he will step up to the plate, but he is reluctant to do so. There is a lot of uncertainty surrounding the paternity of the baby too. Until that gets cleared up, there will never be a clear resolution in court. Future is 50/50 in regards to the child, but he would be more so loyal to the child than to Eliza, in fact he feels dealing with her would be a nightmare. His mindset is he isn't putting forth anything that he shouldn't be, which has got him into a lot of trouble. I feel like Future has been keeping tabs/a close eye on Eliza by way of people she knows. He is forced to bring forth balance, even though it has been conflicting to fulfill. I feel Future didn't want to open up to this, but I feel he will be putting forth minimal effort, but I'm not sure if he will respond to the judge in time. I feel a fire is lit under him in order to produce something of substance to the courts, but he is well aware that aside from all he puts forth, this case can still be in favor, or to his detriment. I feel like this would create complications to his relationships with his other women (besides Lori), but I feel they both don't trust one another, & would rather not deal with 1 another, & Eliza only wants him to take care of his possible responsibility. Future's time to respond is ticking, he may either make it in time or he will be able to convince the court for more time to produce DNA test. DEVELOPMENTS PENDING.

😈What is the energy between Lory Harvey & Future?😈

I feel like we are being deceived a bit when it comes to some things. Case in point, I don't think Future & Lori seemed to be going through an off and on energy. I feel like there is a hope here that the connection will work, but it has already been somewhat of a burden trying to keep it together. I feel like as much as they enjoy being in each other's company, it is starting to become much of a nuisance. I feel like they already took some distance or some sort of a break from one another, & it is a situation that seemed to occur in the past that was full of drama and conflict. I feel like they also have problems regarding finances, where they could have been blowing a lot of money together. I feel like a lot of their conflict is in regards to the reason they supposedly got married, & it may have been a pregnancy scare. I feel that there is a possibility that Lori could conceive with Future, but it may have happened before the 'marriage' announcement/rumor. I feel like the reason they separated is because of the possibility of this as well; I don't think Future was initially pleased. It really feels like they aren't in as much contact then when they first began 'dating'. However, I feel like Future may be keeping to himself for now. I feel like this possibility is a desire of a Lori's, & Future may be feeling the pressure behind it. I feel like Future could feel a way toward Lori, but I feel he has ulterior motives when it comes to the relationship. With that said, I don't think he would be open to having another child/BM. I also feel he is worried of this information getting to any of his other BMs, as well as the rest of the world, for the time being. I feel like Lori is wanting a family, Future is seeing this as in obstacle. There is much hope in Lori's mind, while this is kind of stressful for Future, but their true information of this is uncertain. I feel like Lori was also hopeful that Future was going to be open to the idea, which may start to be revealed to her as the opposite. I feel a lot of suspicion coming from Future as well, & he is contemplating his investment of marriage with Lori, & I feel he will come to resent it in the long run. I feel like other women is coming up as conflict for him as well. I feel his suspicion regarding her being pregnant is causing him to be defensive & have a guard up. Future doesn't feel the passion in this opportunity because of the conflict that it has created. He feels himself wanting to be isolated, & wanting to move away from the situation from her. I feel once he gets bored or dissatisfied, he will want to find happiness elsewhere. I think Lori is going to start seeing flaws in their relationship, if she hasn't already seen it. I feel under the surface, they aren't necessarily stable enough to allow for that level of commitment for so long. Future may have made a lot of promises that I don't feel he will be able to fulfill. I feel like a lot of their ways of getting noticed is a strategy. I also feel like their efforts to keep the relationship balance don't seem to hold off the disharmony for too long. I think it is also a strategy for the deeper workings of their relationship to not get out into the world.

😈Are Lori Harvey & Future married?😈

Short answer, no. Future isn't in that frame of mind, even though Lori is waiting for him to make that kind of real gesture to her. I think, IF they do, they may actually get married after he is done dealing with the courts. I also see that, if that happens, one of Future's BMs will come & try to sabotage it. I feel like there is one BM in particular (besides Eliza) that has been trying to expose this relationship. I don't see any of them pleased to be honest, but one in particular may come out of the wood work to try and humiliate Future/the relationship with Lori in some way. Future's excuse to Lori is that he had a lot going on, but it feels he is being pressure to propose/marry. Future isn't even thinking about proposing to Lori, however he feels she is 'something to invest in', so to speak. I think he feels like they will be dealing with one another for a while (I say 8 months tbh), but he is not expecting to marry Lori. Meanwhile, Lori may be waiting, to ultimately become bored by the relationship (I give her 7 months to express her disdain). She doesn't expect to last very long, let alone get married. Mutually, they don't feel the need to buy into what the world has to say. I feel like Future has other things he's focused on then to think about marriage. Lori could have even been the one to enforce it they are married, but it's in no seriousness.

😈Lori's feelings toward Future?😈

It feels like he hasn't done much to put forth to claiming the relationship in conflicting situations. I feel like they had some drama, which could have involved Future's other women, & he kept putting her through deceptive situations, & has yet to officially 'man up' about their relationship. He has continue to entertain other women throughout their relationship. I feel like she looks to Future to do more to solidify what they have going on to other people, but he still has other women he deals with on the side. I don't think she takes him a serious anymore because of this, yet they still continue to be back-and-forth. I feel like Lori has a problem with people affiliated with Future (side chicks, BMs, etc.) which causes her lot of drama. She also is reluctant to get pregnant by him, but she is being reckless in dealing with him altogether. She is well aware that Future isn't necessarily responsible in their relationship, for her main issue is that she isn't the main/number one girl to him; she basically wants him all to herself. I feel like he may be losing his appeal to her, & she feels like she is sick of the drama & BS that comes with being involved with him. He isn't a productive person within a relationship, & I feel the only way they bond is through sex, in her opinion. She hasn't really been pleased with him lately.

😈Future feelings toward Lori Harvy?😈

He feels it's been difficult to really settle down with her, manly because he isn't really ready to settle down with one person. He hasn't been straight up with her & has kind of been leading her on the whole time (shocker). Whatever delays that has been happening within their relationship were purposely delayed in action by way of Future's reluctance. I also think a big issue with him is that he doesn't want to have a baby with Lori, so I feel he has been flighty when it comes to fulfilling relationship responsibility. He isn't in a position to be a man who is settled down; he has some conflict with this, & he is being deceptive to her & the connection out of rebellion. It was fun & games to deal with Lori at first because the relationship it wasn't really about anything serious, but now that he is playing russian roulette with her ovaries, he's become somewhat reckless (not that he wasn't already) I don't think Future is being cautious about how he is dealing with his women, but he is pretty much actively taking control over them. I feel his fire for Lori is going out as well, because he already seems to be dealing with other people, & I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have any shame about it.

😈Outcome of the relationship + what could end it?😈

I see Future's financial/legal woes starting to get the better of him, & this could become a wrench in his plans; to spoil Lori, really. I feel he is thinking to reapproach & possibly compromise/collaborate with a woman who is claiming financial investments for their pregnancy (to save time, we'll say this is Eliza). His biggest worry is that this suit doesn't drain him financially, because it is already a strain on him. He's also embarrassed by the way all of this has played out in front of the whole world. I feel them laying low together, but I feel the need to make the right decision & choosing it wisely. He definitely feels like he may make a decision to take a break from the relationship in order to do with his financial/legal issues. It's beginning to get a lot bigger mentally for him. He may just take time away from dealing with Lori to get himself straight, because he may need to get organized, or he's just delaying the inevitable changes he'd have to deal with. I feel there may be a pregnancy scare for Lori, & I feel like he may choose to be alone for when this happens. I also see him wanting to isolate himself a lot even from the possibility to slip up (because he's THAT irresponsible). He may become a lot more defensive or on edge, & his paranoia is going to prompt him to withdraw. I felt tensions will build if it comes out that she is in fact pregnant, because Future doesn't plan on sticking around. In fact, hes worried about having to be forced to fund another child financially. He is bound to repeat negative patterns & setting off that examples. I feel like if she IS pregnant, it may be an option to terminate the pregnancy (touchy subject, but I'm only reading with the card say) because of Future's reluctance & inability to want a baby. If she decides to keep the baby, we won't see her for the duration of her pregnancy, & she would probably be thinking to approach it in a different way. Not only that, she is going to be going through pain & betrayal behind the scenes with Future, & he will be even more of a manipulative person with her, if & when her (possible) pregnancy goes public. In short they will be fine, as long as she doesn't keep any pregnancies.

😈BONUS QUESTIONS😈

😈Is Future BROKE?😈

It's not that he's broke....he has a lot of legal issues that he has a difficult time meeting the wishes of the courts. To be fair, these BMs aren't letting up on him. I see women coming forward saying they are having his baby. It's going to be a lot coming at him financially, & they feel like women who aren't pleased with him (another shocker). He's going to have negative light shed on him again on how he isn't paying his dues as much. As much as he will make money, it will be requested of him at the courts as well. I see this coming out in the public, but it will possibly be a woman that lives at distance from where he is; it will also further drain his pockets. So I won't say that he's broke, rather he doesn't make enough for what he has to put back out.

😈Is Eliza 'doing everything for clout'?😈

There are ways she is able to take care of her daughter, but she feels it to be a disservice that he doesn't do anything to help out, & she's seen this happen before to other women. I feel she would rather not have all of the attention on her, but making noise would probably be the only reason the case is being looked at. She could care less if Future wants to silence her either. She would rather not deal with the other women or stress herself out of trying to coparent, because she would rather get her money & mind her business. She does want to bring attention to the truth about the situation; that truth being he isn't claiming Eliza or her baby. She wants him to have the choice to know the paternity, if it is his baby & he would like to be in her life, but she wants to have a peace of mind & some help in supporting her. She definitely feels it would be an issue with (some of) his BMs when it comes to a blended family, so she doesn't want to even be bothered with that either. She'd rather reach a compromise with Future, even though she isn't counting in it.

😈Will Eliza get what she asks for in child support?😈

In all honesty, the amount she asked for may not be what she gets. I feel it might actually be lowered. There is still a matter of paternity, so whether or not she will get a check is currently unclear, but as of right now a negotiation is still taking place.

😈Is Lori Harvey pregnant?😈

I don't see pregnancy for her at this time but I do see some hurt around if she were to get pregnant she doesn't feel she will get support from future I feel she wants to be careful in that regard in a way Laurie doesn't want to bring any issues into what they have going on and she respects his preference not to have kids or embarrass him I also feel like she already has his BMs; it feels like 3 of them are trouble out of the 5, but 1 in particular he still deals with taunts Lori with still having close ties to Future (the type that be like 'I still talk to him', 'he just left my house', 'how my pussy taste?' ass BM). She wouldn't feel at all welcome to his 'tribe'. It is a possibility that it can still happen if she isn't careful, but I don't feel it for her right now.

😈Does Future 'sleep around' on Lori Harvey?😈

He does. It is usually when they aren't together (like when either of them are removed from one another, by way of distance or time), but yes, he has flings as well as a 'favorite BM'. I actually feel like they broke up a little bit because of that, & I don't think their relationship was the same after. To put it plainly he has 'community dick'.

Now, let's let this marinate & watch it unfold 👀

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hopeishappinessff · 7 years

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Chapter 34

After demanding me to leave my car at his apartment, Chris made the decision for the both of us to go and grab a bite to eat. He pulled his truck into a quaint eatery a few blocks up the road from his apartment and I was thankful that the lot seemed fairly empty. We both climbed out of his truck and entered the restaurant, stopping briefly to be greeted by the hostess who then led us to our booth. “Your waiter will be right with you.” She said with a smile before turning and walking back to the host stand near the front door. “What if somebody catches us in here? Chris if we get we get caught, I swear I’m…” “Ma, chill out… we not gone get caught. Everyone is in school right now so who’s gonna see us?”

I nodded and glanced out the window “Okay, but all I’m saying is… if someone does happen to come in here and see us, I’m blaming this all on you.” He smirked and held his hands up in a surrendering manner “Aye, that’s cool… they’ll just get cussed out if they say something to me.” I laughed with a shake of my head and began to peer curiously around the restaurant, taking in the old and vintage theme. There were trinkets and relics from all over the nation covering the walls and that made for a cool and relaxed ambiance. My eyes landed back on Chris and I found him staring shamelessly with the cutest smirk “What?” “You do that a lot don’t you?” “Do what?” “Look around like a little lost dog?” He chuckled and I smiled. He made it clear that after being in my life for nearly a decade, he still had a knack for noticing the small things about me. “Well I can’t help it.”

He nodded slowly and turned to gaze out the window, giving me his full and perfect profile. It truly never got old to me… I could stare at this boy all day long and fall more in love with his handsome features that were so strong and masculine, yet boyish and youthful at the same time. The way his brows were always so clean and arched like that of a female made me smile. Each freckle that was placed so carefully upon the apples of his cheeks left me nibbling into my bottom lip. Even the way his lips sat in a perfect pout, sweet enough to suckle like a lollipop, made me drop my head and giggle quietly like a giddy girl.

He immediately turned his head away from the window and stared at me “What you laughing at girl?” I shook my head and raised my gaze, refusing to absorb any more of his good looks because I was sure the beauty of his features would eventually leave me blushing. “You know if you wanna stare at me then you should just do it, no shame. I do it with you all the time… it’s no big deal.” He said, shrugging his shoulders and slouching back further in his seat. “I wasn’t staring,” I fibbed, “I was just… thinking about something.” He crossed his arms and leaned them down on the table, staring at me menacingly through squinted eyes “What were you thinking about?”

Just as I parted my lips to respond, our waitress approached the table with a pad of paper in her hand and a beaming smile on her face “Hi, my name is Sam and I’ll be your waitress for this afternoon. Can I start you all off with something to drink and an appetizer?” “You want an appetizer?” Chris asked as he plucked his menu from the table and opened it. "No,” I muttered, retrieving my menu from the table as well, “But I’ll take a lemonade.” Sam, our waitress, scribbled down my drink order and turned to Chris “And for you sir?” Chris glanced up at her as he flipped to the back of his menu “Do ya’ll have like icee’s or milkshakes?” “We sure do,” She said as pointed out the delectable treats on the back of his menu “We actually have a few new milkshake flavors.”

“Have you ever had the Chunky Chocolate?” He asked as he skimmed his eyes over the options. “Yeah, that’s actually one of our most popular. Honestly, I’m not sure why… it tastes a little off if you ask me.” She mumbled, gaining a good, hearty, open-mouthed laugh from Chris. I smirked at the sound of his laughter and glanced up at him, immediately freezing in my seat and gasping as I peered into his mouth. I was positive I wasn’t seeing things. There it was… resting in the center of his tongue, glistening beneath the light of the sun pouring in from the open window. Our waitress soon ambled away after jotting down his choice, leaving the two of us in an awkward moment of silence.

“Chris.” I mumbled. “Huh?” “Open your mouth.” His face instantly lit up and he slouched once more in his seat with a sly smirk “Why?” “Just open your mouth Charlie.” I urged, glaring at his lips. Quickly swiping the tip of his tongue out over his bottom lip, he turned his attention back to the window for a brief second before peering back at me through squinted orbs. Abruptly and without hesitation, he parted his lips wide and rolled out his tongue and its brand-new accessory. “You like it?” He asked once he’d snapped his mouth shut. I stared at him in complete disbelief… I wasn’t able to fathom the thought that he’d actually acted on a mere conversation we’d had only days prior. “You alright?” He chortled.

“Yeah, I just,” I shook my head and contorted my face into a painful grimace, “Did it hurt?” “Nah, the dude who did it said there’s usually like a handful of people who barely even feel it initially. He said he was surprised I didn’t even flinch. I told him when you have as much ink as I got on my body, a little pinch like that would barely even phase you.” He said, cracking up at his own expense. “Wow… let me see it again.” I leaned forward, elbows on the table and all, hoping to get a closer look. “Damn girl, didn’t think you would be that into it.” He chuckled before slithering his tongue out once more. I was so intrigued by it and I couldn’t bring myself to look away. He flicked his tongue a few times and I giggled as I caught a glimpse of the bottom of it… it looked much more painful from that angle.

“How are you gonna eat?” I asked. “It doesn’t hurt. It’s a little swollen, but it’s not painful at all. I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to, but I actually went to McDonald’s right after I left the shop on Saturday.” We both laughed and soon after, our waitress arrived at our table to deliver our drinks and take our food orders. Fifteen minutes later, we were both greeted by our meals and though I didn’t intend to, I glanced obsessively at Chris as he ate. I couldn’t for the life of me understand how he managed to chow down as though his tongue wasn’t swollen from a sharp object jabbed right in the middle of it. He made do with it though and after we’d finished eating, I watched in amusement as he stuck his tongue out freakishly far and flicked it up and down, crossing his eyes to peer down past his nose in an effort to stare down at his new accessory.

My birthday was only days away and though my aunt had often preached to me as a child that patience is a virtue, I felt like I was cursed with not an ounce of it. As each day passed, time seemed to creep by increasingly slow. Not only was I looking forward to celebrating my eighteenth year of life, Valentine’s Day was approaching as well. I tried to be as vigilant as possible with my friends. I knew just how much of a blabber mouth both Tameka and Destani could be, so I lingered around them as often as I could with hopes that one of them would slip up and mention any likely birthday plans. Per usual, Chris had fallen into yet another one of his abrupt cycles of disappearance and nearly nonexistent communication. I paid it no mind, as I’d become so accustomed to it happening so often.

Besides Valentine’s Day being a huge deal in our school, the hype had also picked up tremendously surrounding a big boys’ basketball game just around the corner. The halls were littered in pink and red Valentine’s Day Dance posters for the freshman and sophomore as well as plenty of paraphernalia geared toward the upcoming game. There was an almost obnoxious level of excitement plaguing the entire campus as everyone counted down the days until the game.

Though the school grounds were the last place I would deliberately choose to hang out after classes were out for the day, I found myself lingering around the gym with Destani. Even though I rode with her to school that morning, Chris had still randomly requested our presence after his grueling afternoon practice. I sat jaded between Destani and Tameka with an elbow propped against my knee and my chin resting in the palm of my hand…. to say I was tired after suffering through a long day of classes would be a complete understatement. I closed my eyes momentarily, hoping that by some miracle I could get in a quick cat nap despite all the commotion in the gym.

“These niggas lookin fine as wine honey,” Tameka bellowed, shifting her gaze hungrily over the display of athleticism on the floor, “Why have I not been attending these damn practices?” Destani laughed and joined Tameka in her optical journey around the gym “I don’t know girl, but some of these niggas is just asking to get snatched up and hopped on.” I rolled my eyes at their wayward remarks and flinched at the sound of Coach Wesler’s whistle sounding out throughout the gymnasium. The player’s, huffing and puffing and obviously worn out, gathered together in the center of the court and listened as the coach gave them further instructions. He spoke just loud enough for the team members to hear and after a few minutes of their huddled discussion, he dismissed them and they all headed off toward the locker room. Nearly fifteen minutes later Chris sauntered out and Destani, Tameka, and I rose from the bleachers to meet up with him.

He walked directly toward us, yet much to my surprise he simply reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone and nearly walked right on by as if we weren’t standing there. “Um… excuse you?” Tameka barked as he actually veered around us and managed to make it about five feet away. He stopped abruptly, snapping his attention back to us “Oh, shit. What ya’ll doing here?” Destani stood silently with astonishment clear as day all over her face, before glancing at Tameka and I then turning her attention back to him with an exaggerated scoff “What the hell do you mean what are we doing here… nigga you asked us to stay at this damn practice and wait for your ass.”

He stared at her as though she’d lost her mind then suddenly his features relaxed and he chuckled softly “I did ask ya’ll to stay huh? My bad, I totally forgot.” “You forgot, my ass… boy don’t play. You will get slapped in the middle of this court.” Tameka fussed. He chuckled at her idle threat and turned to face me “What’s up Sy?” I nodded in his direction then quickly diverted my gaze down to the floor to avoid eye contact. I could feel him maintaining his gaze as though there was no one else standing around us, until Destani cleared her throat “So uh, can we go now or are we just gonna sit here staring at each other like some damn creeps?”

“Shut your ass up Dez.” He said playfully, prompting her to stick up a middle finger up at him which resulted in him sticking his tongue out at her. “What the fuck is that?” Tameka shrieked startlingly as she stared bewilderedly at him. “What?” He nearly jumped back away from her and I snickered to myself as I watched the debacle unfold. “In your mouth… open your mouth!” She bolted forward and took a firm grip on his cheeks, leaving him no choice but to do as she said. “Chris,” She gasped, “You freak… when the fuck did you get your damn tongue pierced?” “Meka, why are you so damn slow?” Destani asked as she doubled over with laughter. “How am I slow? Did you know he had this shit?’ She whipped around and glared at Destani through squinted orbs.

“Yes,” Destani exclaimed as she wiped the corners of her eyes, “This nigga has had that shit for like a week… where have you been?” With a roll of her eyes, Tameka released Chris’s face and snatched her bag up from the bleachers “I just don’t see how I ain’t know about this thing,” She turned to face Chris with a brow raised curiously, “What you get it for?” He hiked his bag up on his shoulder and swiped his tongue out over his lips “Because… I wanted to.” “Yeah right… you got it because you’re a fuckin freak, don’t lie.” We all laughed at her remark and began our trek out of the gym. Chris and Destani fell into place just behind Tameka and I and she slithered closer to me, linking her arm with my own. “I just can’t believe this nigga got his tongue pierced like that… you knew about it too?” She asked.

“Yeah I did… he actually called me asking what I thought about him getting one like the night before he did it.” I explained. “Damn,” She giggled with a shake of her head, “Chris with a tongue ring… I’m tellin you, that’s a nasty nigga.” “Aye Sy.” I glanced back at Destani at the sound of my name, “You tried Chris tongue ring yet?” My mouth flew open with shock and I stared at her through stunned eyes “Destani!” She doubled over with laughter and I could feel my cheeks burning as Chris smirked and stared at me.

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