#this is such strange discourse im really living for it
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are there any differences when it comes to starclan worship and beliefs among the clans? considering how you’re taking a christian-flavored approach to their religion, there’s gotta’ve been some kind of “great schism” or “protestant reformation” religious discourse. especially when it comes to wind “we-sleep-under-the-stars” clan and sky “gone-for-the-past-50-years” clan
The most significant difference is between SkyClan and Forest Four worship. Between the four, it's mostly superficial ritual differences.
Traditional Forest Four religion is centralized. Clerics are both healers and religious leaders. There is a stricter concept of both blasphemy and dark magic that discourages personal worship of StarClan, so when you're given a strange dream or omen, you are supposed to bring it to your Cleric to interpret it.
By contrast, SkyClan has lived several generations on the lam. The closest thing to a Cleric they had was the Hub like Skywatcher, who was more of an "official networking expert" than anything. The Leader is the strongest spiritual authority and a Cleric is more of a doctor than a priest, so SkyClan cats nurture a more personal connection to Skypelt than Forest Four do with Silverpelt.
SkyClan's practices do not sit well with Forest Four. It's no wonder they have a demon like Brokenstar in their pantheon. Heretics, the lot of them.
As for Forest Four...
ShadowClan will surprise you with how pious they are. They have a deep connection to the Dark Forest with Ripplestar, Brokenstar, and Tigerstar in their recent past, so they fear the influence of demons more than other Clans.
So, their warding rituals also tend to be the best, and they're the most vocal about blasphemy. Clan cat AU of The Exorcist would have the priest come from ShadowClan.
WindClan is loud. The wind howls and so do they. They sing songs, chant as groups, and act notably performative about their piety. Visiting the Cleric regularly is a social expectation-- else you must be hiding something!
They have this practice of "counting their blessings," (Clanmew: "Pos shayu shai Laalha; For starlight I-lather") which basically means they like to point out the blessings StarClan has given WindClan. Usually this has to do with glowworms, an abundance of snails or rain, shiny things in general, a bountiful hunting week, etc.
ThunderClan does a lot of honoring. Sacrifices, dances, feasts. They have the most productive territory and make use of that. You'd think they'd get along with WindClan best, but they both find the other insufferable lmao
Leaftail: "bunch of shineless tailtasters over there-- they think they can just EAT FOOD and that means they're devoted to StarClan? I do that ANYWAY."
Shellfur: "maybe if they ate some more food over there they wouldn't have to visit their Cleric every 3 days. Your stomach growling isn't an omen bitch you just don't partake in StarClan's earthly delights."
Leaftail: "RICH coming from a TUNNELBUN BITER"
Shellfur: "MAAAAAAD that I eat YOUR food BETTER THAN YOU"
"SHUT UP"
"AND IM DATING YOUR COUSIN AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT"
And, lastly, RiverClan.
They take things slow and try to recognize the blessings present in their world. When something is acknowledged as having "personhood" in Clanmew, it's given a warrior name. RiverClan gives a lot of things warrior names.
They have a lot more rituals than other Clans, but they're little ones. Superstitions, really. Like saying prayers before meals, putting an intentional flaw in their crafts, throwing every 5th fish of a hunting patrol back in the river. Stuff like that.
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im afab but identify with the trans feminine and/or the transfemmasc labels because of this strange disconnect i had towards femininity for most of my younger years. i feel as though im reconnecting and undoing years of misinformation about the feminine parts of me, and am finally feeling safe using more feminine terms without feeling scared and uncomfortable because of past trauma.
i'm glad you're able to reconnect with your feminine side! from an amab transfem, i'm happy you've found a label that fits, even if your experience differs from others who use the label.
trauma really does mess with your ability to embrace certain aspects of yourself. i wanted to validate this because i've also experienced trauma surrounding certain aspects of my identity, and found it difficult to reconnect with them.
when people discourse about who is "allowed" to call themselves transfem they always seem to forget that everyone has unique lived experiences that have led them into the identity they hold today. your assigned sex is just one aspect of your lived experiences, and there are so many other things that can lead someone into feeling disconnected from femininity and desiring to transition into it.
in short, you are valid and loved anon <3
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took a peek at sitting/standing to pee discourse and was reminded of something i havent heard mentioned in a long time, and its that urinals use much less water than a toilet per flush. and sure, you have those half flush technologies that reduce water usage, but ime those are not common in public facilities, and afaik generally still use more water than urinals. if we seriously want to reduce our water use we should invest in urinals in womens bathrooms. yeah yeah itll destigmatize people peeing standing up in the womens, whether with an assistive device or not, but what im trying to say is that you dont need to give a shit about trans people, tma or tme, to get invested as a cis woman in the movement to get urinals in womens public bathrooms because it is honestly also an environmental issue.
and honestly a dedicated pissing toilet where there are social rules about not putting in solids, what we call a urinal, doesnt need to be exclusively for standing either. i might be misinformed about how these work but part of the problem with half flush toilets is that they still need to fill the bowl enough to anticipate solids, whereas a urinal can have much less or even no standing water.
the problem is how do you establish that this toilet is different? that its a urinal for peeing only if it also has a seat function? esp if it looks identical to a regular toilet. i think were far away from having those big group urinals where a row of ppl can simultaneously pee into the same long contraption along a wall, so these are also likely to be in the same kind of stall as the regular toilet nextdoor.
ngl as a person who sits to pee 95% of the time i probably hover rather than sit to avoid a cold or public seat more often than i pee standing when there are no facilities. and even then if its not too cold and the space its private enough i do squat sometimes because i might as well get comfy if im here 20 seconds, and sometimes my legs are tired of standing. but unfortunately we live in a world of transmisogynists where peeing standing up is ontologically advantageous and im tired of constantly putting myself in a position that challenges the prejudice of others so squatting to pee is a thing i have plenty incentive to avoid
but i dont think a urinal designed for hovering over and peeing into 'backwards' as opposed to the wall/standing design should be that big a deal in womens public bathrooms. and like i get it some of us have made a whole thing out of castration so i dont want to insist on standing urinals for all. 'just learn to use an stp device' kind of defeats the whole idea of womanhood for some people, cis or trans.
like idk it sucks that my choice as a trans woman in public bathrooms is either half a dozen urinals and like two stalls on one side and twice as many stalls on the other side, which both have their own problems. i had to throw up at a mall recently and ngl i dont wanna have to manage my vocal pitch while im vomitting but then i had to wait forever in the mens room only to be asked why im in the mens while waiting. at a big event where everyone tries to pee at once? all those urinals make the line process so much faster that it isnt considered that strange in my experience for women who really need to go to say fuck it and use the mens. men seeing those massive lines generally get the problem. transmisogyny not being challenged here is also relevant.
womens urinals now lol
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literal tears are running down my face as i scroll thru your blog. on it it it feels like im back home.
i just wanna go back man. i just wanna be a kid running around on feralheart and drawing my ocs again and watching silly movies with my friends. it feels like im living a lie every single day of my life since then.
it hurts and fills me with so much shame to say that i feel like a kid, like i stopped mentally aging in like 2012, 2014 at the latest. the dysphoria is strangling. i dont want to describe it but yeah it sucks so bad.
i cant tell anyone in my life this in detail. cus i can feel the callouts. the sneers. the performative disgust. the gleeful hatred. everyone turning on me and making me into a joke. but this experience is so viscerally terrible and real and i cant just get over it and i cant choose to get better. i hate it.
youre the first person ive ever seen who seemed like theyd actually understand and its just overwhelming bcus it felt like i was completely alone. so i just wanted to say thanks for the catharsis of showing me im not beyond understanding. but im sorry if this is all selfish or upsetting. the last thing i wanna do is hurt or upset anyone, so feel free to ignore and delete.
thank you for ur blog and i hope you have a great day/week/month/year/life/forever <3
anon, im so so sorry i didnt answer this one sooner. i kept thinking, "when i get on desktop" but i never ended up back on desktop until i got this new monitor (win!)
i totally feel you, im glad i can bring you (though maybe bittersweet) comfort.
dysphoria and even feelings of 'transness' in places of identity other than gender and sex absolutely exist and are valid, and its really too bad its so stigmatized. you have my <3 and you have my thoughts. its tough, and theres more of us than youd think, hopefully, its an amount that comforts you... and i hope, you can find people who relate to you and you can share trust with and happy memories.
"performative disgust' is a topic i bring up a lot in this kinda discoursing. if i may, its pretty western too.. the need to be combative causes a strange sort of lash-out-culture, where people arent even neccisarily uninformed, its a lack of desire to be informed at all, and instead perform hatred for the acknowledgement of their peers. id know. it was me once. terrible and toxic situation, but its eaten the internet in many spaces....
its tough feeling trapped, unable to move forwards and feeling like youre "wrong". being disabled and growing up disabled makes those kinds of remarks and implications said by some people extra painful to me. and i know lots of us who feel dysphoria surrounding our facets of the self, both gender or non-gender, are neurodivergant as well, and as someone who was in special education, and then my school dropped me by force because i just "wouldnt" do my math, i know how painful it can feel both inside, but then to come forward and have people act like "just move forward" "just understand" "well you can never go back so just be here instead"... its painful.
i hope that between the time you sent this and now, youvbe found someone to be open to... if not, you can send me your discord off anon (wont pub) and we can chat there if you need it... youre certainly not alone anon, just the haters want you to feel that way. dont give in. do your best!
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SHAKES UR HAND PRISMO !!!
together we can convince the bee tumblr community to become as obsessed with it as us
ALSO DAMNNN DEDICATED /POS
on a side note-
hold up
on a side side note: i get so distracted in these asks bee omfg im so sorry, i feel like my high energy can get too much sometimes KFDSJKDF pls let me know if u need me to turn it down a notch, i just get excited whenever i talk about fics soo aksdfjkSKJDF
anyways on the original side note: talking about the bee tumblr community just made me think about it, it really does feel like a sort of family <3 i love seeing all the random updates from the different anons here and getting to connect to you and to each other, it feels much more wholesome and secure than places like twt LMFAOO but idk it's just nice <3
i had tumblr for awhile but i never used it until i started reading the asks here, and it took me awhile to join in bc i felt intimidated skfdkjsd which is ironic bc yknow i could always go anon? but idk it just felt like everyone had their groove going and i didn't want to intrude, but i joined and i never felt that way
anyways oops this got long (as it always does kjfsdkj), but i just wanted to say that i appreciate you bee <3 for letting us anons n non anons ramble in ur ask box and analyze ur fics and/or just straight up scream noncoherent things
this has been a bright spot in my life lately and it's really special to me <333 and ur genuinely like . one of the kindest authors i've met, but you also have such a good sense of your boundaries n stuff, i admire you really. ur super cool
and also to all the other sillies in bee's asks, i appreciate u guys too <3 ur all super cool people, and i love hearing what you have to say :)) it's genuinely really nice and comforting to be a part of this community <33
lol no you're fine icy!! while it can be a Lot it always makes me laugh whenever I post a chapter of something that has sandduo in it and my inbox just fills with you screaming. it makes me so happy to know how excited my fics make you and the others though so :D
the thing you said about the tumblr community we have here is so sweet though and it's more right than I think even I realized initially. it's really nice when I see regular askers/anons pop up in my inbox and get to catch up on tiny parts of your lives and then in turn you guys talk to each other—it's just so sweet y'know? the thing I really love about having such an active inbox especially with asks about my fics is that it's a lot easier for me to respond to tumblr asks than ao3 comments. I rarely reply to ao3 comments because it's really just overwhelming and then I'm like "well if I respond to one person I feel bad about not responding to everyone else" but sometimes I just don't know what to say or there's just too many comments y'know? I LOVE my ao3 comments they mean so much to me but it's really nice to have people come into my inbox here to tell me their thoughts on my chapters bc it gives me a chance to reply with my own thoughts in a way that feels a lot more like a discussion I guess
so yeah. thank you guys for coming into my inbox to give me your thoughts it seriously makes me so happy and is definitely part of the reason why I have so much motivation to post so much.
also I'm really glad you decided to start popping in here one day icy you're very fun to have around :)
one thing I've always been very aware of since getting 'big' in this fandom is how to maintain things like boundaries while still connecting with the community and my readers specifically. because I wanna talk to you guys and I love interacting with you and all that, but also sometimes people in fandom who get 'big' can be a bit strange to others or get way too involved with discourse and just stir the pot and to each their own do fandom how you want but I don't wanna do that y'know. I'm here to have a good time and I want this little community we've built to also just be a nice, welcoming place for everyone
thank you for this icy it really made me smile to read <3
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choose violence ask game. hollow knight
hi nonnie!!! unfortunately the last time i was super into HK was 2021 but i will try.
the character everyone gets wrong: lurien. he gets watered down into a pk fanboy almost every time i see him.
a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom: never ever thought about this, never ever will
screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr: not going to go into detail bc everyone's moved on and it was bad but it was a lot of weird discourse that happened a couple years back
what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?: discourse.
worst discord server and why: this is personal beef, but the daily HK server that imploded from surpassing the Users Prone To Discourse threshold in horrific flaming fashion. it's been literally almost 3 years though so we're all good.
which ship fans are the most annoying?: anything with grimm. terribly sorry this is not a particularly romance-inclined fandom and i cannot think about them being in love in canon
what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?: grimm. sorry.
common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about: I haven't been keeping up with this fandom at all lately so i really dont know WJBDEJDBEN HAHA
worst part of canon: there's nothing i really don't like about the game :D
worst part of fanon: I don't reaaaally like the intense babying of pv and ghost in post canon "everyone lived" fics. let them have agency man.
number of fandom-related words you've filtered: none!!!
the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them: lurien!!! this is because i briefly ran an rp blog as him, but also because i think it's interesting to think about what would've brought a character like him to be so devoted to pk's cause, and what kind of person he was when hollownest was in the prime of its life. funny towel man.
worst blorboficiation: grimm. SORRY SORRY SORRY
that one thing you see in fics all the time: strangely contrived prose to refer to the body language of all the characters. i get it but Why
that one thing you see in fanart all the time: ghost being drawn with other indie protags. little baby is officia delegate of hollow knight.
you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc): everyone loves memeing on pale king as being a guy willing to kill his own babies to save his kingdom but i genuinely want some exploration of him beyond just a surface level flanderizing "lol. lmao he threw his kids off a cliff" joke. Hupis Incarnate
there should be more of this type of fic/art: i love gijinkas/humanizations esp modern day gijinkas never stop making gijinka content. also anything to do with the radiance. i love the radiance.
it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...: CORNIFER AND ISELDA AND THE FIVE KNIGHTS AND (hk fixation kicks back in 2 years layer)
you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...: lace/hornet. we don't even know the BACKSTORY. but do you think yuri can bloom on the battlefield.
part of canon you found tedious or boring: actually have never played HK lol
part of canon you think is overhyped: like 40% of the grimm troupe expansion. it's cool but the fanbase latched on too hard.
your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores: KINGDOM'S EDGE AND EVERYTHING ABOUT MONOMON AND THE SIMPLE FRAMING OF THE INSTRUCTIONS AS BEING FOR HIGHER BEINGS. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.
ship you've unwillingly come around to: lemmquirrel, i see it and im like "neat! middle aged bug yaoi and the aimlessness of a quest to reacquaint yourself with purpose! i haven't read sbabl ever!"
topic that brings up the most rancid discourse: (stares at camera) Shipping.
common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing: when silksong (me too. but give them some time.)
#natto blabbos#natto answers#ask#anon#ask meme#ask game#hollow knight#long post#send me any hk meta you find if you want!!! i still do love this game but it's taken a backseat to Everything
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Denizens of the Marl,
My main focus was to introduce an early blooming species that I don’t know if I talked about ever. I usually miss my window to see this plant and for some reason I’ve never gotten close enough to photograph it properly, you can kinda see a gleam of light on the glandular hairs but not well enough to show structure.
Triantha glutinosa, blooms in early June in Ohio but can last till late June and in other states occurs in bogs in warm water conditions and blooms much later which is strange to me. I think this must be an adaptive phenotypical thing but you would expect it to be opposite and light blooming also seems to not be the culprit so I don’t know. False Asphodel is another common name but I honestly prefer calling it sticky or glutinous false ashpodel. As a plant living in these nutrient poor super leached marl flats this plant is a carnivor, protease excretor glandular hair trap specifically, but strangely only on it’s flowering stem and not on it’s minute basal rosette. Opposite of most species that are carnivores most species try to keep traps as far from the flowers as possible which makes sense evolutionary. Glandular traps near an inflorescence seems strange for successful pollination. As it turns out this may be a seldomly pollinated species where most individuals in populations are ancient clones that have formed from rhizome spread overtime in these glacial refugium. The other thing that seems notable is many people studying these false ashpodels (Triantha spp.) run into the same morphology and phenology problems that I have, and have even come to contempt and discourse over specific populations and are evaluating them as part of a biological species complex. I agree on the T. occidentalis western split on all accounts but some of the minor disjunct probable splits seem more complex overall (Central Appalachian mountain populations (TN, VA, SC, GA)
I feel like I can’t stress the importance of this limestone marl and the unique opportunity of getting this close to these plants without any special camera. Though I do wish I had one to display the features properly. Most of the time if you are traversing a fen you have to find and identify petrified marl shelfs or surface travertines, or you are walking on old and ancient tussock clumps from what is usually Carex stricta. Im walking on a displaced gravel shelf with petrified marl and wouldn’t dare to walk off of it and disturb the easily motile banks of loose marl or the suspended marl sediment floating like quick sand. The plants here are fragile and the habitat is equally fragile with many state listed species that cant take damage. Everywhere in the high exposure areas of marl flats are these Drosera rotundifolia and the smooth rounded/heartshaped leaves of grass of parnassas, which is in bloom as I type. Parnassia glauca is so beautiful with it’s unique floral venation and Ill post more pics once again when I get to it. The farther you get from the flats the less exposure and with it comes the sedge meadow with Arnoglossum plantagineum, also known as fen plantain leaved indian plantain. The last few shots are associated with the fully scabrid moderate sized var. ,not species, Silphium terebinthinaceum var. pinnatifidum, which we only see in fens in Ohio and the Ice scoured dwarf willow, Salix myricoides, in all of it’s new leaf glory. Still not looking blue with white pubescent undersides just yet.
Personal note:
Its been really weird doing this lagged posting because these are not matched to the time I was there. Right now, I feel like I should be posting about white bottle gentian, prairie gentian ,fringed gentian or ,andrews bottle gentian and here I am mid June posts. Heck it’s also Spiranthes spp. season and paw paw shaking season rn, most people are smelling sulfur shelves and foraging chicken of the woods(same thing). Trying to catch up and doing documentation and having a place to post personal thoughts on this stuff.
#fens#meadowcore#silphium#salix#salix myricoides#arnoglossum#arnoglossum plantagineum#species complex#carnivourousplant#carnivory#botany#ecology#wildflowers#ohio news#ohio#kawaii#plantblr#botanical#botany on tumblr#plants on tumblr#plants#drosera#drosera rotundifolia#geology#cottagecore#parnassia#parnassia glauca#triantha glutinosa#triantha
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welcome to my blog my name is virus enjoy your stay
im virus im a system member of the xenohorrors system. i made my own blog bc I have my own social life that doesn't always overlap with cujos, we don't always vibe with the same people so it gets awkward lol (but it uses my account anyways sometimes bc Tumblr doesn't have switch account on mobile -_- )
im a fucktive of scourge the hedgehog, fuck because I've lived in this house since 2010 so I was essentially scourge like 12 years ago so our body's life is more intertwined with mine than other people's. also I'm pretty detached from my source in this world bc I compartmentalize My Life seperate from fandom things, also I'm a weirdo so I find it fun lmao
im currently fixated on;
breaking bad
doctor who
sonic
this list may update and grow
please interact:
people with "contradicting" identities or "vulgar" terminology for themselves, fagdykes boygirls girlboys transvestites etc etc love you all
fellow nonhumans love you especially if are outwardly strange by human standards and struggle with human society that's cool me too
fellow plural /multiple / whatever u call yrself idc bitches esp if you n ur folks are "weird" or messy or have origins that ppl discourse against a lot, metaphysics whatever psychological stuff u came to a conclusion abt whatevers none of my business people who are seperate or parts of a whole or fragmented or just room mates in the same flesh. Ur welcome here that's chill with me as long as u are kind to others.
ppl who have unconventional belief systems in general are cool im trying to be less shy abt mine bc we are not inherently harmful fucka you
horror fans but only if they don't like burn me at the stake for having nuance for shit and also understand it's horror and bad things will happen in horror
fandom weirdos with 3738292 blorbos who self ship and make 59 crack head aus and crossovers i actually enjoy seeing stuff if u still live in 2012 Tumblr I miss that time take me back there you are so cool
people who embrace cringe actually. if you like to have a little fun with things and be a little embarrassing I think that's cool.
If you are against any of the above I just block and move on. I can't stop you but I won't understand why you're here and I don't feel like being screenshotted on reddit :/
if i don't like ur vibes and we don't really talk or i just don't trust you and feel ur circles don't really match my vibe I'll block u but no hard feelings or nuthing. if you are mean to people who were not necessarily mean first i cast liver evaporation spell on you.
i reblog posts from OP sometimes if I don't wanna reblog/like spam a stranger & sometimes just rb / like from tags— i do not check who I rb / like posts from in depth in those cases! if you wonder where I came from, hi stranger! im a stray don't worry about it. ill forget about you&your blog within a day unless I follow u.
also i cannot donate to your donation post i am poor, this is not malicious and i wish you luck. if i had money i would be in las vegas drinking mojitos with a hooker on each arm, not on tumblr.
EDIT:
we are a system (multiple beings in 1 body) and too lazy 2 switch between accounts on mobile; cujo will sometimes follow from here.
@reactivedog - cujo
@cocainechips - cookie
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the seven husbands of evelyn hugo: the weird stuff
mk. this reminded me of the west side story discourse where someone said it was really disappointing that characters like anita really wanted to assimilate because it showed how they were putting whiteness on a pedestal. but can i tell you a secret?
i can’t think of anyone on my non-white side of the family that doesn’t put whiteness on a pedestal. the first thing my dad did when he came here was assimilate. when you’re told that anything other than whiteness is weird and strange and undesirable, you’re going to do everything in your power to distance yourself from that. obviously, my dad and the rest of his community is at fault for perpetuating that attitude—for actually believing that whiteness inherently has more value than their actual identity—but let’s not ignore the root of the problem: in the US, white people—especially wealthy white people—like you more of if you assimilate. that’s not to say that they’re gonna respect you, or even be fucking nice to you, but i think it’s very understandable why people like my dad or fictional characters like anita thought that assimilation was their only option to live the american dream. i know im not explaining this very well, because i have no idea what its like to move to another country and immediately get picked out as “other,” so this is just me saying what i’ve noticed from observing people in my family
with that being said, it absolutely makes sense why evelyn repressed her cuban heritage for so long. monique is a separate issue, because i think the author wrote her very poorly from the get-go (like, seriously? killing off her black parent but then keeping in the white patent is such a tired trope, but it might even be something she did subconsciously bc she’s obviously not going to be familiar with writing the dynamics of a biracial family other than the very basic blurbs of “everyone disapproved of my parents relationship” that was regurgitated throughout the entire story)
anyway. back to evelyn. it was really disappointing that her cuban identity was consistently only mentioned in passing throughout the entire story. i thought we were gonna be building up to something—anything—but all that happened is that evelyn moved to spain. which is another thing that’s so fucking crazy to me. dialects can be tricky, and the author certainly acknowledged that, but i have friends who grew up with mexican spanish being their first language that cannot understand different dialects from places like argentina and (you guessed it!) spain. and then saying “mexican spanish” and “argentinian spanish” is an oversimplication in itself, cos there’s plenty of dialects within that.
i don’t know. i guess what i’m trying to say is that, at first, in the 50s, it really makes sense why evelyn completely ignored that side of herself. i thought it was bc she couldn’t afford to think that way, but now it’s just obvious that the author had no idea how to develop that storyline bc she’s not cuban, she’s not hispanic, she’s just a white woman writing a cuban character. and, honestly? im not going to claim that i’ve exclusively written what i know, because ragging on her for writing a character she’s not exactly like would be so hypocritical of me. i write annie cresta as a woc all the fucking time, even though i’m white passing, so i’m not going to sit here and say that the author should only write people that look like her. but the stuff i include about annie that i’m not personally familiar with is either based on experiences i’ve witnessed or feelings im familiar with (like the feeling of not really fitting in to either side of my family, or even feeling like i “belong” too much to a certain side), so i think that maybe she should have tried to put more effort into that. i’m not sure how, because i know studying something doesn’t atomically mean you know have a personal connection to it, but i feel like it could have made evelyn’s experiences feel more organic. she kind of reminded me of rita hayworth, except, yk, rita hayworth was kinda just white mixed with white. but it was the 50s! anything that wasn’t all-american was somehow a threat, so maybe she could have gone down that route? like, yeah, rita was still white, but she still got a whole chunk of her identity erased. like im not sure what specific type of white the author is but maybe that would be more in her ballpark
also. i tried not to read other people’s thoughts on this bc i didn’t want it to heavily influence mine but i saw someone say that she catered completely to the male gaze with her relationship with celia. and as a queer woman, im gonna say i don’t think so. like, there was a weird moment where evelyn said that celia’s obsession with her tits mirrored all the straight men she’s been with before, but i took that as a 1950s-not-really-concerned-about-the-nuances-of-sexuality thing. but reading other people’s opinions i will admit that maybe that wasn’t the authors intent when writing that, so maybe it was just a happy coincidence that she wrote something like that in a very hostile time period so that she could just use the “but it was the 50s!!” excuse if someone started questioning it. also, someone said that the last thing on a woman’s mind when kissing another woman is how different they are from men, but i think we’re gonna need the older sapphics to weigh in on this. like, again: it was the 50s. evelyn was fucking scared. she had no idea what bisexuality was. and then she’s suddenly kissing a woman. she’s kissing a woman, even though she “should” be kissing a man (1950s rhetoric), and that’s scary and celia is so different than anyone (men) she’s kissed before, but it somehow works? like she’s softer and has a more feminine figure and is nothing like a man, but that doesn’t matter to evelyn bc she loves her anyway. that’s what i got from her immediately comparing celia’s figure/physique to don’s. she wasn’t necessarily comparing it to say which one was better; she was pointing out how, despite all those differences, the kiss still felt right anyway. it felt good anyway, even though everyone (aka the homophobes) said it shouldn’t
so i guess what im trying to say is that evelyn ignoring her heritage and making homophobic comments seemed more like a product of her time and internalized hatred that she needed to work through. for me, the problem arises when she doesn’t work through it because the author had no idea how to approach the issue. and im sorry maybe this is internalized queerphobia on my part, but i really didn’t have an issue with how evelyn and celia’s relationship was portrayed. like i mentioned in my first post, the stuff they said to each other was genuinely so romantic. i’m not saying the portrayal wasn’t flawed at all, because i could certainly tell that the author probably wasn’t queer while i was reading it, but i’d take this to “love, simon” any day. like i know that author is bi, so i did enjoy “leah on that off beat” in middle school, but her writing about gay men gave me the same vibe as the author of this book writing about sapphic lovers 😭😭 like it was cute i guess (from what i remember) but you could tell that this was uncharted territory for both of them
however, i do understand that a white woman writing poc into her stories is taking away platforms for woc women to write woc characters. people are always like “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” which i don’t think is true. like i said, writing annie cresta as someone who isn’t white passing even though im white passing myself is kinda the same thing as what this author is doing, but i think something that makes or breaks how u do this is writing about what u personally know, even if it’s just a little bit, so you have something to build off of. (i’m also adding a disclaimer here saying that even though i am writing what i know, that absolutely doesn’t mean there isn’t room for nuance. what im doing is flawed in itself, too. there’s no defending that, either. it’s just more authentic to me than writing about an all-white family, bc id have no idea where to start. but this isn’t even about me sorry im just trying to say that people acting like its impossible to write characters that aren’t exactly like you in a way that’s still authentic isn’t really true, it’s just harder)
as i was saying, the author is writing about what she knows, too, but since she’s just white, she’s not gonna know much unless she goes out of her way to try. i just don’t understand why she didn’t go down the rita hayworth route. it’s the approach i personally would have taken. because, even though i dont know what its like to be spanish—this author probably doesn’t, either—the experience of being Othered bc of very minor deviances of anglo saxon beauty is something i can relate to. i never say “my hair is too light” i always say “my nose is too big.” that’s not exclusively a nonwhite problem, and i think that’s where the author messed up. she shouldn’t *only* write what she knows, per se, but she should definitely be writing about things she’s familiar with. and i know im talking about myself way too much, but i just think it’s weird that even though im someone who isn’t technically only white, i still would feel more comfortable writing a person from more modern history that is (annie being in panem gave me a lot of leeway), so i don’t know why she felt comfortable writing a person that isn’t
uh oh. this post got very very long. but i guess what im trying to say is that evelyn’s struggle with her identity was less authentic as the story progressed, and that was solely because the author didn’t know how to make it feel organic, which is super unfortunate. also, new talking point: no fucking way would harry and evelyn be like “welp. the only way for us to have a bio baby is to raw dog it.” like WHAT? again i’m sapphic and i like men but if that were me we’d have to figure SOMETHING out, im not having actual sex with someone when i have a girl. like idk just the thought of putting the work in is nauseating to me, she literally just needed the sperm so harry could have jacked off or something. tbh i don’t rlly wanna think about this. maybe it’s the asexual in me
conclusion: if i’m having these thoughts, as someone who is kinda white, how much more severe is it for people who aren’t? like atp the author needs to just stop writing hispanic characters it’s like a theme for her and no one is ever fucking happy about it
#dear diary#long post#probably the longest ever#it was just on my mind#bc it sucks that the whole time i was reading it i was like#this is fine. but it could have been really good#and i’m not even talking about the writing bc god knows i have no place to talk#it was just the fact that the author was trying to act like the CEO of issues like racism and homophobia as a straight white person#like girl…
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As someone who is currently working on a nate-centric fic I lowkey think it is impossible to write him interacting with anyone without some romantic and/or sexual tension bc he is just Like That. (except maybe Jenny. Jenny and Nate being best buds is the exception that proves the rule)
@mezzoklutz this helps to hear!!! i think you’re totally right. (also, can i just say about your nate-centric fic..... *screams*)
but honestly, very seriously, the alison-and-nate dynamic, the way i see it, parallels the rufus-and-vanessa dynamic so much. alison and rufus are very ‘see young adults as people, and not as kids’ in the sense that they actually care what people have to say, don’t dismiss people younger than them because they’re young, etc etc, and i feel like for nate specifically it’s an eye-opening moment of ‘oh, someone older than me can see me as their equal’? with vanessa it’s a bit different because rufus is her best friend’s dad but also.. rufus is her best friend? still. there is a parallel in my head.
this fic im writing is strange because dan’s going thru hell and nate is trying to help and alison is just like. anything that makes dan feel better is something i wholly approve of - and i think that’s adding to the vibe a lot, where she’s like ‘you made my son smile! thank you” or whatever...
#im writing alison POV so i don't even have the excuse you do#replies#this is such strange discourse im really living for it#me: so basically i whump dan in this fic#everyone on my blog: ivy tell us something we don't know#jessica tag#<3 <3 <3 <3#ok fuck it im also tagging this as#meta#fic progress
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this is an honest question regarding your last post: what is so bad about charlie being in group chats with fans? they add him to it and he just replies to stuff in there. i get that it's problematic when the fans are minors but i don't see how just talking to fans is a bad thing? of course talking about smut to minors is a no no but he didn't know what that was before they explained it so i don't really see the problem? other fandoms wish that their idols would interact with them as much and some do reply in group chats too and i've never seen it put as a bad thing so i am genuinely confused why you say that it's a bad thing? can you maybe explain it maybe im just not looking at it from the right perspective
Not necessarily saying it’s a bad thing, but it’s a tricky thing to navigate. Especially with social media.
I think this is coming from a perspective where I’ve experienced fandom before social media became super prominent and celebrities are more accessible and I’ve kind of grown up with the idea of these separate spheres that fan and celebrity live in.
Like it’s really cool of him to interact with fans, but for him to be in these group chats sort of leaves him susceptible to have his words taken out of context.
My initial thought when the whole ‘smut’ topic came up, and yes even though it’s being explained to him, is that it’s still a strange encounter/topic to bring up to him as well as to recommend that nature of fic too.
We only seen snippets of this conversation, there’s so much that we don’t know. He could have talked about the nature of the fic afterwards, or show an aversion/discomfort towards it- we have no clue.
But at first glance, you see Charlie and an underage fan in a conversation that involved the topic of ‘smut’. I’m just saying how easily that could be spun out of control and could depict Charlie in a certain light-
(Because could you imagine how bad that would look? Even if the interaction is innocent enough, he’s on a family show and is starring alongside a love interest played by a 16 year old.)
These group chats have the potential of being spread, due to the fan’s excitement for having their favorite celebrity interact with them, and we’re only seeing a fraction of what happened.
And another thing, celebrities need to be careful what they say to fans too. Especially when a celebrity has a young fanbase such as Charlie. Yes, celebrities are people too, but there’s a power imbalance already in place since some of these people idolize celebrities and their words hold weight.
And I don’t think Charlie’s fully aware of the gravity of the situation because he’s interacting with some of the group chats like they’re all friends, but it’s obviously more complicated than that when his words and opinions (especially if its about certain ships and thoughts on the show) hold this weight and start discourse within the fandom.
Madison had already brought up the issue of Charlie and Owen ‘confirming’ Lalex as exes because it gave hope for people and they would ultimately be disappointed if it doesn’t necessarily get addressed on the show.
Charlie can interact with fans and yeah he could jump in on group chats and talk for a bit and jump out. It’s just- a delicate situation that could end up blowing up in his face if it’s not dealt with appropriately.
That is my concern and I hope this makes sense. I’m not implying that Charlie is doing anything untoward, I’m merely pointing out how easy it is for this to be blown out of proportion because now we have all this ‘evidence’ all ready in these group chats.
#jatp#jatp cast#charlie gillespie#this honestly so much bigger than 'oh charlie reads lalex smut'?#charlie needs to watch what he says and who he says it to#because look what happened
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Just caught up with all that strange drama and as someone whose suffered with severe addiction and dependence since I was 14. rue Bennett rlly isn't the hill anyone should die on. And alot of people who suffer with addiction would agree. I don't agree with the post but rue's character is explicitly dramatisized and glamorized. Just to let you know in case you didn't know. Even Sam and the actors have spoken on it.
anon i sincerely cant tell if “the post you dont agree with” is mine, honeys, or both, but it sounds like you had a problem with mine and im going to respond as such.
tw: discourse, drug addiction
the point of my post was to call out the fact that a problem like drug addiction is a weird thing to make a headcannon about. given the fact that honey treated other topics like nazis/school shootings/etc as “ok to explore under the umbrella of dark content”, i dont think i was incorrect in assuming the fact that this was another topic she was talking about carelessly. i was not aware of her own issues with drugs until she commented on my post, but i still stand by what i say that wanting to see who kins rue is offputting because that means nothing other than calling them an addict.
if jokes like that or the other statements in her post are how she choses to cope with her experience, fine. its just reckless and irresponsible to joke about that without sufficient triggers or warnings (tw drugs in your post but not the content not being under a readmore is not effective tool in censoring if you didnt put the tw content in the tags), not to mention mocking recreational drugs that arent as addictive for the sake of wanting to create something edgy.
about your euphoria point, in my opinion, nothing about rue’s life is glamorized or dramaticized. that is the real struggle many addicts face through in their day to day lives. i dont know what your experiences with addiction are, and nor have i experienced it, but i have worked with many addicts in their journey to recovery and the hard realities that rue goes through — the desperation, the lashing out, not giving a shit about anything else other than a fix.
its harrowing, heartbreaking, and addiction already goes through so much stigma that the last thing it needs is to be trivialized by is a headcanon set because “weed is too pussy of a drug.” those words tell me that honey’s headcanons had more potential to glamorize drug use than euphoria ever could. glittery makeup and camera angles do not glamorize her drug use, if you look at the show for what it is, its about rues suffering and those around her who have suffered. its trying to make true addiction seen to people — and its uncomfortable.
coincidentally, zendaya shares my same opinion.
so yeah. i dont really have any regrets about what i said because given the information i knew at the time, i was standing up for the fact that addiction is not some fun joke nor should be boiled down to a characters personality trait, which is essentially what “kin rue benett implies,” considering as far as we have seen in euphoria, we haven’t gotten any glimpses of the girl she is outside of the disease she is struggling to control.
i do hope this clarifies any other message you could have interpreted with what i said. it should be very clear now.
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awkwafina discourse about her growing up in forest hills is always so strange to me bc she lived on the north side of queens blvd which is the middle class side.... not in "the gardens". like the girl went to the same middle school as me that at that point was zoned with corona with like a quarter of the school being title 1.... she's got a corona accent???
i know rich fuckers who grew up in the gardens in multimillion dollar houses who've jumped on the sj awkwafina hate train and im like....glass houses guys????? and ofc any white dude gets a pass from them bc it's never about really hating on ppl who r privileged
no, it never is. it’s just about playing these stupid little games until we die i guess. mfs talk about awkwafina like she’s actually super powerful and not someone who’s finally relevant after a long career lol
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Run On Final Thoughts
Looking around the Internet for opinions on Run On, there seemed to be a lot of people who didn’t like it for various reasons - too slow, the dialogue wasn’t great, the acting was weird, overhyped etc. And strangely, this doesn’t actually make me defensive about the show. I can understand why someone wouldn’t connect with it. It is pretty offbeat, and I can imagine a lot of it coming off as insufferably smug. Somehow though, maybe because I completely missed the show’s discourse when it was airing, I didn’t struggle with any of those things. I fell into the rhythm of the story with an ease I rarely get with K-dramas. I enjoyed every episode right up to the last. I actually finished a 16-episode K-drama romcom without skipping an episode. That’s pretty revolutionary! I don’t think I’m special for liking the show, but I do feel lucky. I feel lucky because I got to experience on of the best ensemble casts I’ve seen in a long time. I’ve never enjoyed a world in a drama so much. I really love a fleshed out supporting cast, and Run On practically spoiled me. The sheer amount of detail put into the character writing -into their personalities and their relationships with each other - made the world feel so fleshed out and vibrant. It’s no wonder the show never lost a beat when it had so many rich dynamics to draw its conflicts from.
In fact, I think the show might have been too rich - the final episodes are great, but there were so many threads that I wanted to see tied up neater and expanded on. The major threads came together nicely, but other elements suffered from a lack of time. The most jarring one would have to be Ye-Jun’s coming out to his mum. It’s a huge deal for a gay person to come out to their religious parent and an even bigger deal for that parent to accept them as they are. There’s a beautiful moment of conversation between mother and son that is just loaded with so much love and history that ends too briefly to make way for another brief resolution to another plot thread in the story. And, frankly, I don’t think the mother’s acceptance was very convincing. Maybe in a Korean context, “it’s okay to be different” would work, but Ye-jun’s mum is also Christian, and whilst she may not be as militant as Seon-gyeom’s dad, she’s definitely religious enough to threaten him with church when he comes out to her. “It’s okay to be different” simply does not work in a Christian context, because in Christianity, conformity isn’t necessarily a virtue (at least on paper). My particular strand of Evangelical/Pentecostal/Charismatic Christianity actually emphasises its difference with the world, and to be gay is to be of the world - to do the worst sexual sin in a world that’s already depraved. It’s total bogus - a lot of Christians have conveniently forgotten how Christian sexual morals were the status quo for hundreds of years and go around crying persecution just because we now have to be considerate. It’s why discussing LGBTQ+ issues with Christians is so frustrating - for a lot of them, being gay is a sinful choice made by depraved and/or confused individuals being encouraged by a sinful world that, in the meantime supresses and silences Christians, who are the true oppressed. Untangling all those layers of misinformation, bias and bigotry could be a show all on its own. That said, I’m glad Ye-jun’s mother accepted him. I’m glad that when he came out to Yeong-hwa, Yeong-hwa took him in his arms right away without question, which was such a powerful, beautiful statement. I’m glad that Ye-jun could have his happy ending.
Speaking of happy endings, Yeong-hwa and Dan-ah’s arc ended better than I could have hoped for. I’m personally ruthless when it comes to romance - I don’t mind couples not getting together (there’s fanfiction for a reason) and if the foundation isn’t there for a couple to work, don’t force it. Usually the foundation is in terms of actual chemistry, but Dan-ah and Yeong-hwa had chemistry in spades. I was surprised that the writers actually remembered all the allusions to Rapunzel, and kept Dan-ah’s wealth in sight. The gap between them was simply too huge, and the inequalities too obvious. Dan-ah was wealthier and more powerful, Yeong-hwa was younger and healthier. I love the way Dan-ah’s derogatory “kid” was re-contextualized through her illness. He’s not just “kid” because he’s younger than her, but because he’s got a full life to live. He has vitality, which she feels she lacks. The show refuses to lapse into overblown dramatics regarding her health, but it nevertheless hangs over their relationship like one of many black clouds. There’s something poignant about two people knowing full well that their relationship can’t last, and still choosing to enjoy what little time they have with each other. And even if they couldn’t have each other, look at what they gained! Look at how they grew as individuals, at the friendships they made in the process.
I just have so much love for these characters and so much love for the actual performances themselves. I focused a lot on Dan-ah (which was completely valid lol), but that meant I didn’t get to gush about Im Si-wan and Shin Se-kyung absolutely killing it in their roles. They have such an ease with each other that makes their relationship genuine and adult in understated ways you rarely see in romcoms. In the hands of a clumsier actor, Seom-gyeom’s character could have been irritating (and for some people, he probably was), but Im Si-wan plays him with such care, conveying his nuances underneath his stoicism. And it’s lovely to Shin Se-kyung actually in control of her performance, after the mess that was Bride of Habaek. I spent a lot of time talking about Dan-ah and Yeong-hwa and I just wanted to emphasise that I loved our primary couple as much as I loved the secondary couple. As I’ve said before, this cast was just brilliant in every single way. I can’t think of any other K-drama romcom that invited me so vividly and thoroughly into the interior lives of its characters. I’m gonna stop here because this post is long af and I’ve already rambled enough, but yeah. This was magical.
#run on#run on jtbc#sooyoung#im si wan#shin se kyung#kang tae oh#kdrama#quick thoughts#more like an essay#love this show ❤❤❤
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Er, sorry to rain on your parade but, I'm pretty sure all the irken invaders and Tak are very much adults. Johnen, the guy who made the show, has described Zim as an old man on multiple occasions
Okay so ive Done Research (by which i mean i Googled It) after getting this ask. So while Zim is over 100 years old in human years, hes about 16 in Irken years. Meaning the invaders and Tak age slower than humans. So, while yeah shipping them when Gaz and Dib are still kids is fucking strange, they would still be around the same age when the humans get older. Not to mention they apparently act and look the same as the middle schoolers they hang around to the point that the adults in their lives don't notice a difference. From what ive seen (only five episodes) Zim... Doesn't act like an adult at all. He gets bored in class, he draws like a second grader, he doesn't seem like an adult or even really a teenager. He... Straight up acts like a 14 year old. I haven't met Tak in canon yet and the only bits I've seen of her is fanart and such so maybe I'll feel different when i meet them but for now it feels like Zim and Dib are both super smart yet feral middle schoolers.
To me it doesn't seem that much different then Vampire teen novels where the Vampire is literally 500 years old but is in the body of a teenager. You run into this thing when looking at aliens and supernatural creatures in fiction, and considering the canon i feel like the Irkens and the human kids are kept on the same level and are coded as the same age. Im not saying i wont feel different later or that you arent entitled to your discomfort with it but im saying that i... Don't quite understand the issue of shipping them- especially when you age them up.
I don't like discourse and this is Not an invite to spam my inbox with arguments. I'm Not going to respond to harassment, okay? Im not that invested. You are entitled to your discomfort, i get it. People can be fuckin gross about shit and i don't stand by that. I am saying that when i see people ship them they make them the same age, at most a year or two apart. I can't say everyone does that but thats what I've seen from a quick scroll through the IZ tag.
Edit: i was trying to think of another example to explain what i mean when i say coding them as the same age. Think about princess Bubblegum and Finn the Human in Adventure time. He started out as 12 and aged through the show until he was 17. When he was older (around 14) Bubblegum became a viable love interest. She was coded to seem only a bit older than him despite the fact she was an immortal being who had been alive for like centuries. Same with Marcy. They were both coded to seem like teenagers so the fact that they were actually immortal and 100s of years older then him, it wasnt seen as an issue because they were coded to seem closer to his age. The technicalities of it can be an issue when you're talking about aliens and immortal fictional creatures that are coded to seem like teens and kids.
Also- for the FUCKING RECORD- this is not me condoning drawing or writing porn of 13 year olds. That shit is Weird and i do Not Stand by that. If youre gonna ship them in canon age range then keep that shit soft and innocent. Once again, i do not stand by smut of children, okay? Jesus.
#discourse#ive been here for two seconds and im already being dragged into invader sim discourse#listen im not heavy into any ships and im not about to argue about it#i just wanted to put this out there#eyup asks#also- I am a Minor. keep that in mind when yall yell at me in the notez#tell me if i need to tag a trigger#idk what this is
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I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed
Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:
keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.
The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:
- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)
-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose
- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try
But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.
0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.
1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.
Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.
I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT���S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is
2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.
There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.
The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.
So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.
At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.
fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.
Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”
If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.
Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.
And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.
Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao
Antiblackness
Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.
FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....
Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.
Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.
There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.
ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that
It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.
These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.
Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao
Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.
Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.
It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility
Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.
This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.
There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.
additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.
Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...
We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.
That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.
HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:
a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?
These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.
Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.
History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)
Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)
Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:
Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!
Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3
#history 4#history 4: close to you#i told sunset about you#a thot#tharntype#lovely writer#bl fandom#idk#lol#long
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