#this is so sweet and i am v grateful you took time to send an ask…..literally i love u……. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lottiebagleywritesobx · 3 years

Text

Love Language

At the time they'd made it the language had felt like no one would ever be able to understand it.

They were only 9 and JJ had been granted permission to stay at her house, her parents used to be around a lot, although they weren't anymore, and they'd always welcomed her blonde best friend leading to his near constant presence at their home.

It was late for two kids, maybe 10 pm, and they'd been wrapped in blankets in her box sized room that felt so much bigger when they were young.

They always got each other in a way no one else understood for reasons way more complex than a secret language they would use to write each other messages, but at 9, all they needed to know was that the language was another thing that tied them together.

It was simple: to spell a word you combine the first letters of the other words.

So to write Hello you would write Hungry Elephants Love Lollipops Okay

It had stuck a lot at first, they used it everyday and it drove Pope and John B insane, but as they got older it died out.

It was used a few times at 12 when they had an annoying teacher who made students read notes out if they were caught passing them, to everyone else it sounded like gibberish.

It was used once at 15, the world help spelled out when an older Kook boy wouldn't leave her alone and she knew he was reading her phone screen over her shoulder, not wanting to trigger him.

Now, at 17, she had laughed out loud when she'd unfolded the note tucked into her locker.

In JJ's scrawl that only she could read with ease.

Ukraine

Rollercoaster

Penguin Ranch Eyelash Tractor Tangerine Yoghurt

You are pretty. She blushed a little, looking around for any sign of the familiar blonde boy but he was nowhere to be seen, she tucked the note into her bag, hating the way he made her heart race, before shoving the books she didn't need over the weekend into her locker and walking down the corridor and out of the front doors.

When she arrived at the twinkie her friends were already there "Took your time," John B smirks from his open window, occupying the front seat

"She was probably busy flirting with Mack," Sarah teases from the passenger side

"For the last time Sarah, he just needed tutoring in bio,"

"You are shit at bio," Sarah smirks even wider

"Better than you sweetheart," The girl grins, climbing into the back and diving out of Sarah's reach as she moves to try and flick her. Both girls laughing loudly

"I'll get the door then," Pope chides

"Thanks P, i can't get too close or Sarah will attack me," She grins, Pope rolls his eyes but sends her a grin as he leans forwards to pull the door to the twinkie closed.

She moves through the seats to her usual space, she always sat next to JJ, no matter what. They could be drinking at the chateau, relaxing at the beach, adventuring on the boat. No matter what they were next to each other. It wasn't uncommon when one of them was feeling tired, or clingy, or touch starved for her to end up in his lap, his arms wrapped around her stomach and his chin on her shoulder.

She leans up pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, it wasn't uncommon in their friendship, often used as a greeting, a thanks or even just out of the blue, and so the other's don't think anything of it even though JJ feels himself melting into a puddle. What is a little different though is the way she grabs his hand giving it a tight squeeze before pulling her own away and settling down in her seat as John B starts up the van. He knows what it is. It's a silent thanks for the note, not wanting to say anything in front of their friends but it was a sign she got it and she was grateful for it.

He wraps his arm around her shoulder, his touch gentle but Pope gives him a knowing look, the touch is supposed to claim her. She either doesn't notice or doesn't seem to mind though, instead leaning into his now open side as she chats happily with Kie.

It's monday morning and JJ is in first period history. He fucking hates history, yet, it had become his favourite subject simply because it was the only one all 6 pogues shared. He opens his school bag with sigh, placing the textbook on his desk and starting to fish around the bottom of the bag for a loose pen.

Pope turns around from the seat in front of him, placing a pen on his desk with a knowing smile. JJ drops his bag to the floor, opening the text book only for a note to fall out.

Her neat writing fills the page and the smile on his face is immediate.

Umbrella

Rocket

Happy Ant Neck Drop Surf Olive Mars Egg

JJ tries to ignore the feeling of a red hot blush creeping up his neck as he turns to look at the next desk along, she's already looking at him with a smirk shooting him a week before turning to face the front, god if JJ can't feel himself falling.

It continues for weeks.

Tucked into the wind screen wiper of her old shitty truck.

Taped to the sandwiches she would bring him to lunch.

On her pillow when she went to bed one night.

Stuffed into the pocket of the hoodie she borrowed.

Her school bag.

The bathroom mirror at the chateau.

They both started to home a large collection of notes. Her's placed neatly in a drawer in her bedroom. His tucked in a box under the floor board that lifts up in the room he claims as his at the chateau.

"What you writing?" John B questions as he steps onto the porch

"Just a note for y/n,"

"You guys have been passing a lot of secret notes recently," John B comments, JJ shrugs placing the pen down "It's sweet,"

"What d'ya mean by that?" JJ questions, John raises his eyebrows giving JJ a knowing look before having a realisation.

"You still haven't told her you're head over heels in love with her?"

"No," JJ admits, he was way past his days of fighting back when his friends accused him of being in love with her. "I don't know how to. You know me, I never say things right and I just- I really don't want to fuck this up. Only got one shot at it,"

"So write it," John B shrugs like it's obvious

"I can't,"

"You can,"

"What if she doesn't feel the same?"

"JJ, you're the most annoying person I know and she puts up with you all the time and has done since you were 2 . She feels the same,"

She's only wearing a bikini and a tshirt that belongs to JJ when she exits her house on Saturday morning. Her plans to meet at the Chateau go surfing with Kie already made, she grabs her board and at first she doesn't even notice it, attached to the cool box full of water and fruit she'd loaded up the night before is a note.

Ice

Art Magic

Igloo Note

London Orange Venus Elephant

Wine Ill Tiger Hungry

Yam One Under

It takes less than a minute for her to decipher the note, abandoning her surf board and the cooler in favour of sprinting to the Cheateau.

JJ is seemingly waiting for her when she arrives, he's pacing in front of the house, going still the second he sees her.

"Are you kidding?" She questions, he's stares, eyes wide not quite able to process why she looks so hopeful. "Because JJ, if this is some fucked up joke I will literally never speak to you again,"

"It's not a joke," He assures

"It's not?" She questions, it's het turn to still, having expected to arrive for him to laugh and ruffle her hair like he was her brother.

"No. I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since we were 12 and you stole my cap and started wearing it everyday,"

"We were 14 and you snuck into my room because my parents were fighting and you read harry potter to me cause you knew my parents used to," She states

He nods, now it was all out there in the open neither of them quite knew what to do.

"For fucks sake kiss already!" Pope shouts, they turn seeing all the pogues watching them from the porch.

JJ looks at her, an unspoken question in his eyes. "Just promise me if this all goes tits up we will be friends, cause I can't loose you maybank,"

He holds his pinky out, smiling as she loops her with his and squeezes slightly. He pulls her into his chest with their pinkies. Lips crashing onto hers, spare holding her closer to him by the small of her back. Her empty hand moving to play with the blonde curls she's wanted to run her fingers through a thousand times. Their pinkies stay linked by their side, his thumb stroking at her hands lightly.

Yeah, she'd be keeping the note he left in there little love language.

#jj #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj x reader #jj maybank x y/n #obx fic #obx #outer banks

79 notes · View notes

bitchassbucky · 3 years

Text

.png

Word Count: 1.4k

Warning/s: toxic relationship dynamics, dark!bucky x dark!reader, stalking, coercion and lying, manipulative tendencies, injuries and blood mention, food was mentioned for a bit

A/N: WE ARE GETTING THERE, BABES WHEW OKAY

follow the CTRL series:

i - .exe

ii - .avi

iii - .raw

iv - .png

v - .zip

CTRL playlist CTRL moodboard

A month had passed since your not-date date had happened. You tried to forget the rest of the day, only focusing on how he looked and talked to you that day. How he smiled, trying to play off the ‘cool guy’ narrative.

You suddenly grew cold, noticing how your conversations became sparse—dry in between. Fewer texts and long waits. It made you nervous, sad, and a little bit annoyed. You barely see him around the office too—has Bucky been avoiding you?

His office is a bit out of the way for you to accidentally stumble in, anyway; the days you’re in the office were unsynchronized. Would it count as a punishable offense if you mess up with your company-approved laptop?

Saying you missed Bucky is an understatement: the bottle of cologne that smells like him sits empty on your dresser. The pictures you took of him taped loosely on your corkboard. Bits and pieces of papers he gave you tacked on it haphazardly.

Can someone die from loneliness?

Is this what being in love feels like?

Suffocating, consuming, your chest feels heavy, and your stomach is in knots.

—

Another month, another throng of employees needing new passwords. There are literal posters around the floor reminding everyone to use a password manager. Bucky can’t believe that he has to work with idiots around him. When he took up computer science as a major in college, he imagined himself hacking into… government intel, or something. Not looking after dimwits that don't know how to install an update.

His text messages are red with notifications—bank updates, deliveries, and you.

For some reason, Bucky can’t bring himself up to return your messages. Hi’s, hey’s, and how are you’s littered his text chain. Is he a bad person for not replying back? He can always just make up an excuse, right?

When you told him that you liked him, kissed him like you meant it, his fondness dispersed into thin air. The easy is never worthy and the worthy is never easy, as his father told him.

A ding from his phone brought him forth, another text from you: coming up right now, can we talk?

Now, he can’t come up with an excuse.

—

Bucky heard you before you come in, knocking on his door like the first time you met.

He clears his throat, calling out a come in! before rolling back from his cluttered desk. Tickets were few and far in between, he knows he can spare you at least 20 minutes but he just doesn’t want to.

“Hey,” you said, your head poking into his office. You weren’t entirely sure why you came up here in the first place, you really, really, really just wanted to see him again.

Bucky chuckles, pulling the door open for you. “What’s up? Is everything okay?”

You breathe out a little, shaking the feeling sinking deep inside your stomach, “yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine.” Stepping into his office, you eye his desk. He’s been busy. Papers and files are piling up on the left side of his desk, half of his setup is covered with those post-it notes. Several mugs littered his small space.

Huh, “Sorry, I can come back some other time.”

Turning on your heel, you pivot a little to grab the door when Bucky grabs your upper arm, “don’t go—”

He realizes the implications if someone were to see the two of you and so he lets go, much to your discomfort. You face him, either way, you’re sure he’s not gonna let you go that easily.

“Sorry, it’s just- I missed you.”

And there it was. I missed you.

He was thinking about you.

“I was just gonna drop off some files… But,” you rake your brain for a coherent train of thought, “I missed you too.”

A smile of relief overcomes Bucky’s features, his eyes crinkling just the way you like. His steely blue eyes hidden beneath his lashes.

“I have uh, a thing later… Dinner with friends—do you wanna come?” You make a show of peering over his shoulder and onto his desk, “unless you’re busy?”

“I’d love to come.” He says, tucking his pointer finger underneath your chin, flicking it forward so you’d look at him, “what time is it?”

“Come by around seven. I’ll text you my address.”

Bucky doesn’t need your address. He already came a dozen times by your building, trying to build up the nerve to knock on your door and kiss you silly. Like in those movies you watch late at night.

But he’s conflicted, no?

Are you really as good as they come?

—

At six-thirty, you already sent the text: take the east street, beige apartment block. I’m on the third floor, second door to your right. :)

At six-fifty five, Bucky’s already there, his car idling on the sidewalk. He’s… nervous. Why is he nervous? It’s just dinner. A small get-together with friends. Speaking of friends, he didn’t see any unfamiliar cars parked on the block. Maybe it’s not work friends?

Letting out a sigh, Bucky fetches the small bouquet of flowers and wine he brought, just in case. He doesn’t wanna be the only one showing up empty-handed.

On the dot, Bucky knocks on your door. He plasters on his best smile as you open the way, revealing yourself.

God, you look gorgeous. Why did he stop hanging out with you in the first place?

Oh, right.

“Aw, flowers and wine? You’re too sweet!” You chirp out, stepping out of the way to let him into your apartment. Taking the gifts from his hands, you put them away while Bucky busies himself checking out your place.

It’s weird seeing your place in real life. Bucky noted the hint of lavender in the air, coupled with a smidge of coffee brewing. He’s so used to seeing parts of it but not everything-everything. He careens his neck to look down the hallway, catching a glimpse of your bedroom.

“If you’re lucky, you can see it tonight.” A peal of boisterous laughter comes out of you, lightly kicking his foot with yours, “I’m kidding. It’s off-limits for visitors, sorry.”

“Right…” Bucky looks around, shifting his weight from the balls of his feet up to his toes. “Am I too early? I can help you set the table.” The table is halfway finished and you’re stirring in cheese into a sauce. Roux, perhaps.

“No, it’s okay…” You trail off, lowering the heat before facing Bucky, “I lied.”

“What?”

“There’s no dinner—I mean, there is. Just not with friends.” You bite your lip, looking down on your shoes before tearing your gaze away from the floor to meet Bucky’s eyes.

“You lied? Why- why would you lie about that?” Annoyance and frustration all seep out near the surface. His jaw ticking as he gritted his teeth.

“Are you mad?”

“Are you mad?” Bucky asks back in a mocking tone, bringing his fist down the dinner, “you—you’re crazy. I knew it, I knew you’re crazy. Lying about dinner and what, trying to get me alone? Jesus, what--” He lets out a mirthless laugh, the one that sends chills down your spine.

You stood there, frozen at your spot. You’re hurt. He called you crazy. He called you crazy when he’s the one who spied on you for weeks on end.

When he’s the one who watches you at night.

When he’s the one who left those notes on your desk.

The one who sent those texts and left calls and voicemails.

“Fuck you.” Your words rang empty as Bucky walked out of the kitchen in long strides. The dinner long forgotten.

You calmly watch him turn the doorknob open, failing when the adjacent locks prevent him from opening the door. Two deadbolts and a chain lock. Never would you have thought that the threat would be coming inside your home.

“I’d think twice before leaving without dinner.”

—

Bucky stirs awake. The sound of cutlery on plates grating on his nerves. His head is throbbing. His right temple feels tight and tender, there’s something hard and crusty covering the right side of his face. He can suddenly feel the weight of his left arm, leaning over to compensate for the sudden pain.

He wasn’t aware that he had closed his eyes; the lights suddenly glaringly bright.

Right, the dinner.

The dinner?

Wasn’t he supposed to—

“Thank fuck. I thought you were dead.”

God, he hopes he is.

#bitchassbucky writes #dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky x reader smut #dark!bucky x reader angst #dark!bucky x reader fluff #dark!bucky #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky barnes x reader smut #dark!bucky barnes x reader angst #dark!bucky barnes x reader fluff

165 notes · View notes

2-cute-4-school · 4 years

Text

𝙉𝘾𝙏 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 : 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣 𝙞𝙙𝙤𝙡 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙

@cherry-jaemin ~ Hello! Can I request a dreamies reaction to you being an idol and their best friend? Thank you!! ♡ (◕‿◕✿) ~~~ Thank you so much for your request it was really fun to write, hope you’ll like it!! :)))))

Mark Lee

he cherishes you A LOT (︶ω︶)

but i honestly see him as someone who keeps his private life private

so your close friendship is kept lowkey

but he finds time to spend time with you despite both your busy schedules even if it’s made through your phone screens :(((((

one thing he’s most grateful for is that you understand

you understand what it’s like spending hours in the practice room frustrated, you understand what it’s like constantly missing home, you understand what it’s like working nonstop with no breaks until your body forcefully gives up my heart breaks for him every damn time

you understand him

your friendship is so pure (•ˇ‿ˇ•)

like you can both be laughing your asses off one minute, mark flopping around like a fish on land

and the next one you can be having a therapy session usually consisting of wordless comfort

mark doesn’t seem an emotional person but if there’s one(1) thing that can shatter him is witnessing you on your breaking point

like you were usually the one to check up on him often and pull him away from work for a while before he drowned himself in it

so seeing you overworked and utterly exhausted made him sick

no one could convince him to leave your side for some time (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)ﾟ

you clung onto each other and mark softly scolded you for taking more care of him than yourself despite knowing that he’d do the same you’re like his baby he’s allowed to

other than your emotional moments you’re so playful together

‘bruh’ ‘dude’ ‘man’ - your daily vocabulary involving each other -_-

you sometimes gather in a studio and just write lyrics together or help each other with practice bonding time

basically you just vibe together so well and you’re just so grateful for each other’s presence because it eases your hectic and busy lives

you feel like a breath of fresh air to him and vice versa

Huang Renjun

friendship with him is basically clowns clowning each other 🤡

even more so since you can both joke about your shared career

he makes a tradition of reacting to your every m/v god help u he clowns you from the first second to the last

“looking a bit constipated aren’t we, y/n? i guess that hotpot didn’t sit well with you” <(￣︶￣)>

“that’s just my face when i think about u, garden troll”

*huff* *incoherent mumbles of protest*

but he secretly streams THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR M/V and forces the rest of the dreamies to watch it several times too

you watch his radio every evening and sometimes even send in cringy messages just to get a reaction out of renjun lol

so basically you’re super supportive of each other but in your own ways

imagine sleepovers ma friend that’s a wiiild ride

ghost stories, alien conspiracies, crazy theories - THE MAIN MENU

bet y’all renjun can’t sleep without someone he can hold onto after watching or talking about scary things ੧| ‾́ー ‾́ |੭

and you wouldn’t call that cuddling no, it’s more like....strangling....but with love....kinda....yeah that sure ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

on another note, you made it you personal mission to lift his confidence whenever SM doesn’t treat him right (╬ Ò ‸ Ó) y’all evil cockroaches

and renjun always promotes you subtly during his lives

“ ‘renjun can you give us a song recommendation?’ yeah sure actually there’s this song-” spoiler alert : it’s always one of your songs

one of the biggest secrets in kpop is who drew that *absolutely* gorgeous portrait of you that you proudly showed in your own live

spoiler alert x2 : it’s renjun, it’s always renjun

your friendship is really one of a kind

basically best friends lovingly clowning and supporting each other at the same time precious am i rite

Lee Jeno

jeno seems like a very comforting person to me

like he’s someone you can go and vent to about all the pressure of your career and what not

and he’d just listen to you and hold your hand tightly in his if you’re able to meet face to face, he has his own way of grounding you when everything gets hectic （＾ｖ＾）

he’s a lowkey hypeman

whenever you happen to perform at the same awards show as dream he makes sure to dance and cheer cutely for you o(≧∇≦o)

you won an award?? this man is so proud he hollers louder than your fans well basically he’s your no.1 fan soo :))))))

he always tries to shield you away from hate so it’s one of the reasons he doesn’t disclose much of your closeness lowkey protective jeno

you had an airport accident once common against idols unfortunately

lemme tell ya, jeno went NUTS (��⌒´メ)

he’s not a confrontational person but he CAN and WILL be when it comes to you

he babies the heck out of you for the next few days :3

and once he has the occasion to turn on vlive he takes a minute to *calmly* explain that while idols love their fans, it’s not fine for fans to invade their privacy and personal space preach sister

you were also close to flipping the sasaengs’s shit up when they kept bothering keno with calls leave the man alone jeez (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻

he always reminds you to to take care of yourself

“don’t push yourself too hard” “don’t drink too much coffee, you’ve seen what it can do to jaemin and we don’t want that now, do we?”

he often covers your dances ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒ and nails them

“jeno you’re dancing better than me on MY OWN SONG”

“idk what you’re talking about” (＾ω＾)

overall your cheerleader and each other’s poorly read not at all paid bodyguards

Lee Haechan

“your sun is here to enlighten your life!!!!!”

“gtfo hyuck”

this man knows no privacy

he’s ruthless and he visits whenever he wants even if it means that’s on a wednesday AT 3 AM (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

he tells you it’s because your ‘just forcefully woken up’ is the best blackmailing material

in reality it’s because he just misses you A LOT ( ⁍᷄⌢̻⁍᷅ )

this rascal is busy a lot and you’re busy a lot and so every single moment spent with you is so so precious to you both

he gets overwhelmed by this feeling of longing sometimes so he acts on instinct and just barges in wherever you are

but you can also count on him at any time

*middle of the night* *donghyuck sleepily answering his phone* *sniff* *sniff* “hyuck”

“yeah what’s wrong??? who am i beating up???? should i take johnny too???? just say the name cutie (*｀Ω´*)”

you only ended up crying about missing his cuddles

*sigh* “you only love me for my cuddles”

you once told him fleetingly that you missed breakfast and lunch

you found 2 boxes of takeout outside your apartment already paid by a certain someone i need a hyuck pls

he’s also quite vocal about your friendship and randomly mentions you

“y/n told me that i look cutest with my baby belly so unless you wanna pick a fight with them lay off gremlin” ー(￣～￣)ξ

both your dreams are to get to collab on something anything it would be heavenly for hyuck to colllab with anyone tbh

nothing can keep you 2 apart, your duo is just too strong and the world just isn’t ready for you

Na Jaemin

he’s such a warm person

he babies you but just because he wishes you’d have more time to spend with each other ( *’ω’* )

so the only way to quench his worry is texting you daily to make sure you’re alright and taking care of yourself or he’d personally do it

the way he talks about you tho (╯✧∇✧)╯ like you put the stars in the sky you did for him

“y/n is actually quite good at this game, i ate dirt when we played together”

“y/n looks so pretty in those pictures we took together” Σ(*ﾉ´>ω<｡`)ﾉ

“y/n is my favorite model end of story”

talking about his love for photography, you’re his model 80% of the time

his camera roll is filled with pictures of you every time you find enough time in both your busy schedules to meet up

he has enough to open a fanpage if he hasn’t done that already ;)

in turn you’d secretly dedicate parts of the lyrics you wrote to him

i’m telling you he would CRY hearing your sweet voice sing such beautiful words meant for him he would feel so appreciated pls ( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ )

he always says that he has no other friends other than his members so having you validating the strong bond he feels with you would elevate him to cloud 9 :,(((((

i can imagine you two meeting on a variety show a mess that would be

you can’t be too close in front of the cameras in order not to give the wrong impressions

but behind the scenes you’re not leaving each other’s side, chatting and clinging onto each other the entire time (≡^∇^≡)

and even on screen as long as you’re allowed to you’re attached to the hip, ALWAYS beside each other

in conclusion you’re the besties everyone is envious of and wishes to share such a precious bond with someone ∩(︶▽︶)∩

Zhong Chenle

y’all are basically the ‘you can’t sit with us’ pair -_-

another one who i think would keep your friendship private

like it is public that you two are friends but neither of you shares more about your meetups and so on

but chenle is lowkey highkey whipped

chenji making keychains for the rest of nct? +1 for y/n (/^▽^)/

surprise party for chenle’s birthday? you’re dressed as staff waiting for him to notice you after cameras are turned off he screeched so loud the entire building heard him and then proceeded to cling onto you forever

you know how chenle took jisung to him home in china? he took you with him as often as you both could afford the time to he even rescheduled a few times to make it convenient for you to come along (｡•́︿•̀｡)

he buys all versions of your albums cuz he can

going to each other’s concerts!!!!!

i can imagine you accompanying his family to the dream concert (˃̩̩̥ɷ˂̩̩̥) the same one when jeno and jaemin decided to get nakey nakey yes

you’re texting nonstop istg (◔_◔)

chenle can always be seen texting in the waiting rooms and so on

you’re his source of confidence before concert and certain schedules

also you’re probably discussing your hangout plans :))))

which often ends up in playing basketball in a park at night and then getting bored or tired and just wandering aimlessly around

you secretly record duets together unreleased unfortunately ( ب_ب )

and he teaches you how to play piano

basically your friendship is very playful and you find a comfort place in each other to remind yourselves that you’re allowed to have fun and live your lives o(*>ω<*)o

Park Jisung

i think it took quite a while to befriend him

his shyness can get the best of him sometimes it’s okay bby

but once you got hi to break out of his shell you’ve got yourself a lifelong best friend congrats (ര̀ᴗര́)و ̑̑

he shows his caring nature through small acts

texts you good luck and encourages you before award shows

becomes your dramatic weatherman

literally glitches if you ever have even a *slightly* sexy concept

“how did you like the dance, jisungie?”

“i-uh...um...it was...yeah...it was really uh *coughs* *clears throat* it was NICE, yeah...nice” (๑ּగ⌄ּగ๑)

ofc he *absolutely* loved it, he just respects you and looks up to you too much to make any further commentary

you coach each other through dance routines :3

you never fail to calm down and give confidence to jisung whenever his nerves get in the way

jaemin actually specifically asked you to look after jisung during his hiatus

jisung’s TMI’s sometimes involve you (´ㅂ`๑)

“today’s tmi? i started working on a surprise for you czennies...and i got help from a very talented performer”

the surprise was a dance cover choreographed and performed with you that was the death of your fandoms ੧| ⊗ ▾ ⊗ |୨

you can be considered childhood friends so you understand each other with little to no words spoken

that’s why everyone loves your ‘partners in pure crime’ friendship

393 notes · View notes

ragegrove · 3 years

Photo

in the photos? yeah, def a visual of h.ollogrove -- who died in summer of 1985 -- reincarnating in another universe, in another time & seeing each other for the first time bc #soulmates are forever. and #h.ollogrove doesn’t end in summer of ‘85. (bc that is the exact way b would look at her finding her again, i promise you) 😭 ...*im crying* brb.

@flayedprincss.... guess what i just realized? this decision of sending you a meme on october 11th of last year and the fact you responded at 12:12 a magical number -- is crazy how it blossomed into this huge dynamic between our characters 1 year later !! it’s absolutely the coolest thing i’ve ever gotten to do in history of writing, creating this world and our characters with you. it’s insane at how awesome it is and how far they’ve come and developed. hollogrove has been my biggest inspo for majority of my edits throughout the year-- i’ve had the most fun chatting with you and creating all these fun edits inspired off our muses. i’ve also have made such a good friend in the process who is very creative, funny, smart and sweet <3 aka you. you have been such a great and true friend to me. you are a true gem, never forget that. friends like you? they just don’t come everyday okay. they’re rare and so special. i know we are a screen & many miles apart but i still consider you as one of the bestest friends i’ve ever had. !! <3

🥺 ❤️

you always hype my edits, (it means so much to me), you always gush over my portrayal (im crying), we are always thinking alike (cant get over how our minds are always on the same wave sndksn). i’m summer, you’re winter, and we make the bestest bestie pairing for that. ☀️ ❄️ <3 you always keep me in awe with how you have took heather h.olloway and turned her into this intriguing character who is so three dimensional with all this DEPTH and realism-- from who she is as a person to her dialogue to her thought process... she’s such an amazing character and my favorite character all because of you bringing your talents of her portrayal to the surface. with all that said, happy h.ollogrove anniversary week. AND happy birth week to you my sweet friend !! i love u sm. <3

p.s. ( we cannot leave out @mrflayed who has also been a dear and true friend to us, that has also been apart of the crazy h.ollgrove antics LOL, we love you so much @mrflayed !! it wouldn’t be the same AT ALL without you. ) i am so grateful for you both !! and i love you both so v much. OK PLS NEVER FORGET IT. <3

#hg.#hollogrove.#it is #flayedprincss #birth week AND b + h's anniversary #BEST WEEK EVER #IM CRYING

13 notes · View notes

emsvegetables · 4 years

Text

EM HITS 2K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhh i can’t believe i actually got this far??? i am sosososo grateful for every single one of you ( more of that below!) but first, here are my celebratory events!!!!!!!!!!!

HAIKYUU DATES / MATCHUPS:

my standard event for celebration LOL

this is a little different then my previous ones, so those who took part before can take part in it again if they want to :)!!

status: CLOSED

to participate, start it with...

“HQ DATE”

in the ask, talk about your personality, what sort of person you are, your quirks, and what sort of person is your type!!!! also include your ideal date with someone!!!!!!!!! and i’ll match you up with a haikyuu boy!

a maximum of two asks can be sent in!

if u don’t start it with “hq date” i’ll delete your ask! (to make sure u read my rules first HAHAHAAH)

i’ll write about how the both of you met, what sort of boyfriend that haikyuu boy is to you!!!!!!! (and a short date with him heh)

20 DAYS OF FICS:

AHHH I HOPE THIS DOESNT FLOP RIEJDJD

status: OPENED ( 20/20 slots taken!)

send in a short writing prompt/sentence/trope with a character that you want me to write for!!!!!

it can be any of the haikyuu characters that i write for! (here!)

and i’ll write a short fic for them!

and i’ll TRY to post all of them for 20 days straight!!!!!!

i’ll definitely write all of it don’t worry AHAHAHAH

and last but not least, here are my thanks to my moots!!!!!

@fitriiaw — irda! you’re one of the first few friends i made on tumblr fieidjdjdjdj!!! thank you for always being so sweet to me, always checking up on me every few days and always asking me to take care of myself and just being the sweetest person ever! i always smile whenever i spot your name in my notifs hehe :D ily!!!!

@churochuu — !!! CHU!!! you’re actually one of the first few friends i’ve made on tumblr, and i’m sosososo grateful for you!!!! thank you for all your drawings of kuroo and i (hehe), and for always being there for me in pms and i look forward to more of emroolizumi hours and more h word hours!!!!! i love u!!!!

@a-simp-for-haikyuu — sarah!!!! you’re one of the first few friends i’ve made, and i’m so so so thankful i’ve become friends with you!!! seeing your name in my inbox always puts a smile on my face and i’m so so so grateful for you always popping in to say hi hehe!!!! MWAH ily

@baby-boy-taichi — kiki!!!! you’re one of my first few friends on tumblr, and i just want to thank you for always being so sweet and nice to me!!!! everytime i see your name pop up in my inbox, i just get so happy hehe!!!!!! i love you!

@briswriting — bri!!!!!!! i still rmb when i vv shyly mentioned in a random post that i would like to be moots with you, and you immediately followed me back !! sisidjdjdjdd i was so SHOCKED RIEJDJD but thank you for being so sweet and nice to me!!! i am vv thankful for you heh!!!!

@shoyosun — marta!!!!!!! you’re so sweet to me, and you’re so nice to me!!!! i love all our little chats in our pms, and all the little reminders you shoot me to take care of myself occasionally, and i am so thankful to have you as a friend <3!

@dorkyhaikyu — el!!!! thank you for always being so so so wonderful to me, always sliding into my inbox to check on me, and always being so supportive of everything that i do! i am so thankful for you !!!!!!! ily!!!!

@bluejohsai — drei!!!!! ahhh thank you for being such a sweet person, always checking in on me from time to time and chatting with me in our pms! i am vv thankful for you MWAH ILY!

@karasunology — jae!!! maam we haven’t talked in a hot minute but i just want to say thank you for always making me laugh and always being so nice and so supportive in everything that i do!!!!! i miss u AHAHAH ILY!

@macaronnv — v!!!!!! hi v!!!! you’re sosososososso sweet to me, always being willing to chat with me if i need someone to talk to, always popping into my inbox/pms to check on me, and always being you!!!! i love you, and i’m so thankful for you <333

@simp4satori — maam i am so embarrassed bc i don’t think i asked for your name before EIDIDIDJSJ but hi!!!!! you’re so nice to me, always sliding into my inbox and always checking in on me and asking me how my day went, and i’m sosososo grateful i became friends with you heh <3!!!!

@janellion — KAYLA!!!!!! i am so grateful to have you as a friend and for you ALWAYS checking in on me everyday in the pms and asking me how my day went! i love our little talks and our occasionally random...love memes!!!!! i’m grateful for you always being so supportive in anything i do and i’m so thankful for you and i love u MWAH!!!!!!!!

@eitadesu — NOEL!!!!! thank you for always checking in on me or very so often and asking me how my day went and asking if i’ve hydrated myself!!!!! i’m sososososo grateful for you and i’m so thankful i got to be friends with you!!!! ily NOEL!!!!

@kadoui — KAMI!!!!!! kami kami kami!!! i’m sosososososo thankful for you always popping into my inbox and asking me how my day went and how i was feeling that day! i am so thankful to be friends with you and i’m so grateful that i got to meet you <3!!!! i love u MWAH

@tremblinghearts — RISSE!!!!! hi LOVE i’m so thankful for becoming friends with you, because you’re the absolute sweetest to me and always checking in on me every so often and asking me about my day, and always being willing to talk to me if i need someone to talk to!!!!!!!! i love you risse <3!!!!!!

@toorusquill — VERA! hi vera you’re always sosososo nice to me and sosososo sweet to me and you’re always checking in on me, always popping into my inbox and sending me sweet messages!!! i love you vera!!!! i’m so thankful for you!!!

@sugacookiies — XIN!!!! i’m vv grateful to have become friends with you because i don’t think i’ve ever related this much to someone before (hahahaha o’s bless us hahahaah)!!! i am thankful for you, and you’re the absolute nicest to me ily 你得到了我的心!!! hehe

@strawberrimilkshake — liyah! i’m so so so thankful to have become friends with you because you’re so sweet to me, always checking on me and always asking me about my day! i love u sm maam!

@applepienation — justine!!!! i’m so grateful to have become friends with you and become moots with you because you’re the absolute sweetest to me, always sliding into my inbox and asking me about my day! i love you and your art maam hehe <3

@stcrryskies — jackie!!! you’re so nice to me and i’m so thankful to have met you! you’re so sweet to me, always asking me if i’m feeling alright from time to time and just being the sweetest, i love you <3

@agaassi — ae ra! i rmb being so shocked when u followed me back bc!!!!! you’re so amazing!!!! you’re so nice to me and you always check in on me from time to time and i’m so thankful to have you as a friend!!! i love you!

@katsukozume — katsu!!!! you’re so nice to me and i LOVE how awkward we are in the pms LMAOOOO but you’re so sweet katsu thank you for checking in on me from time to time hehe <33

@qloxssy — michi!!!! maam u never fail to make me laugh with all the random questions you shoot me in my inbox “how do cockroaches have sex” AHAHAHAHA i love you michi!!!!!!!!!! and i’m so thankful to be friends with you! MWAH

@dorkyama — remy!!!! i rmb being sososo shocked when you followed me back and i screamed a little in my room LOL thank you for being so sweet to me and popping into my inbox from time to time hehe i love you!

@prettysetterbaby — jj! thank you for being so sweet to me and being so nice to me, always checking in on me from time to time and always being one of the first few to congratulate me when i hit a milestone! heh i love you!!!

@newfriendjen — jen! thank you for always hyping up my works and checking in on me and how i’m doing in my inbox randomly heh!!!!! i am so thankful for you heh and i love you!

@sachirou-senpai — ellie! hi hello! thank you for being so sweet to me and you’re so adorable, i still rmb smiling when i first saw your message in my inbox asking us to be moots because you’re so cute !!! i love you ellie!

@mrs-kuroojinguji — ANA! HI ANA OMG IM JUST SMILING WHILE IM TYPING THIS because somehow whenever we interact with each other we always somehow end up typing on caps LOL IM SO THANKFUL FOR YOU mwah ily ana!

@bokukiyoom @tmkki @cherryonigiri @chickenwingspiker @akakuzumo @ratedhaikyuu @tetsumiya-main @amoroushero @todorokiakina1 @deadontheinsidebut @rana-kun @tendou-tho @nekomasmeow @washione @dramaqueenweeb @nekxrizawa @sobawithshoto @haikyumie

finally, if you’ve read all the way here, thank you for following me and supporting me, i love you :)

#haikyuu matchups #haikyuu matchup #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons

119 notes · View notes

fatiguing-thoughts · 3 years

Text

“Natural” - Chapter 10 - Embry Call x Reader

Campsite

Embry and I laid there for just a little while, him whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

“It’s probably time we go to the campsite, it’s getting late, Em.” I rub a circle onto his chest.

“I know. It’s already almost six. They’re already there for hours.” Embry exhaled.

“Wait, only six? I feel like it’s so much later.” I say.

“Because we’re laying in the dark, bean.” He laughs.

“You got me there.” I giggle.

I stand up, getting dressed.

“You don’t have to close your eyes this time, Em.” I blush.

He just smiles, his cheeks deepening a shade of red.

I grab one of the hoodies I took from Embry years ago, throwing it over my t-shirt. The sleeves coming past my hands, the bottom of the hoodie going well past my hips.

“You just look so much better in my clothes, I still suggest you wearing them more often.” He smirks, grabbing my hips and bringing me into a kiss.

“I’ll do it more often, okay? Now get dressed we have to go.” I smile softly, leaning my head against his chest.

“You got it, babe.” He kisses the top of my head before getting dressed.

“We’re gonna have a nice night. We’ll be camping like we always wanted to.”

“(Y/N), we will have a nice night. But this isn’t camping like we always planned. We can go camping soon. After all this.” Embry tells me, slight disappointment ringing in his voice.

“I can’t wait.” I smile as I go into my desk and grab my old pocket knife and a backpack.

“Damn, what’re you gonna do with that?” He chuckles.

“I don’t know, I figure I might get bored up there. What if I find a cool stick? Then I could have a cool spear.” I giggle.

“You’re still the same girl I fell in love with so many years ago.” He whispers, chuckling to himself.

I couldn’t help but smile at his words, feeling so much joy to hear those words.

With that, we walked outside and Embry started taking his clothes off to phase. I put them and his phone into my backpack for him to change into at the campsite.

“It’s not as dark as I remember it being a couple of hours ago.” I question, realizing it was probably just me feeling that way from how dreadful that car ride was.

He lowers himself down, laying completely on the floor.

“Alright, Em. Let’s hope I don’t fall flat on my face.” I chuckle.

He begins standing up, I lost my balance and had to find my grip again on his back.

“Shit, sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you, Em.” I apologize profusely for pulling on his fur.

He huffs and shakes his massive head before trotting off into the treeline once I got my grip.

Embry ran quickly up the mountain up to the campsite, the sun beginning to set.

“Thank you for coming.” Edward greets us.

“Really, thank you.” Bella reiterates.

“Of course.” I nod.

“Do you need help getting down?” Jacob offers, walking over to us.

I nod and his warm hands lift me off Embry’s back, earning a low growl out of Embry.

“Em, please.” I plead.

His head faces me, eyes softening. I hand my backpack over to him. He takes it in his mouth and going behind the treeline to get changed.

“I really can’t thank you enough.” Edward speaks, golden eyes peering into mine.

“It’s what I can do to help.” I smile and nod.

“Do you know anything about vampires? Do you need a rundown of anything before tomorrow?” Edward asks.

“Well, I know they’re very fast, very strong. I know about the difference between the red and gold eyes-- I’m assuming who’s coming will be having the red ones.” I chuckle to myself.

“Precisely. Just stay with Bella at all times, that way Seth and I have a clear area to protect. You’ll be okay.” He says in a comforting tone.

“Okay. That works.” I nod, feeling Embry appear behind me.

His arms snake around my waist and he looks at Edward with a displeased face.

“Hello, Embry. I’m sorry to put her and you in this position, just know that I am beyond grateful.” He thanks Embry, trying to ease the tension.

“Don’t let anything happen to her.” He warns and I give Edward an awkward smile.

I know he was plagued with the ability to read minds. And I knew damn well how unsettling it must be to be around people who wanted nothing more than to kill you, berating you constantly. Whether or not he deserves it is another story, I just understand it would be difficult to hear those things and have to be civil regardless. Edward hasn’t been rude to me, but I sure do understand why nobody was fond of him.

He gave me a gracious smile, sending me into the realization of his ability to read minds once again.

Jacob built a fire, so Embry and I decided to sit down and join him while Bella and Edward went into their tent.

I sat with them, the tension filling the atmosphere. I almost felt as if I was holding my breath, fearing another scuffle between them.

“I’m sorry about before, Embry. I shouldn’t have been bitching at you when you were so upset.” Jacob breaks the silence.

“Thanks, Jake.” Embry nods, giving Jake a small smile.

“(Y/N), I wanna apologize again. For you getting dragged into this, you’re really one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. But I also want to apologize for scaring you back at Sam’s.” He looks at me with sad eyes.

“Thank you, Jacob. I appreciate your apology.” I smile at him, reaching my hand over to place on his arm.

Embry’s face fell hard with realization and his arm around my waist slightly tightened its grip, pulling me into his lap. Thankful for his body heat, my blanket, and the fire keeping me warm.

I look over at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Do you hear that?” Jake asks.

“Bella freezing to death? Yeah.” Embry huffs.

“Maybe you should check on her.” I suggest.

“I might have to.” Jacob gets up and unzips their tent.

We watch him as he walks over, listening to hear him and Edward argue.

“(Y/N)?” Embry asks softly.

“Yeah, Em?” I look back at his soft eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you earlier. I didn’t want to fight with Jake in front of you.” He whispers in my ear.

“I understand. I know you didn’t mean to scare me, you were just very protective.” I lean further into his chest.

“I just, I couldn’t stand you being roped into this. And here you are.” He presses a kiss into my shoulder.

“I’m here. But I’m here to help. I know you’d do anything for me, and here I am. Doing anything I can for you.” I smile at him.

“You shouldn’t be. This isn’t in your realm. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He promises.

“I know, Em. You always make me feel safe.” I kiss his cheek.

I yawn, and lay my head further against Embry’s chest.

“Are you tired, bean?”

“A bit.” I admit, yawning once more.

“Let’s get you in the tent.” He says, picking me up and bringing me over to our tent.

We unzip the sleeping bag and get in. It was colder without the fire, but thankfully space heater Embry would be keeping me warm throughout the night.

“How’s it going in their tent?” I ask, laying on his chest.

“Very tense. Thankfully we didn’t have to share.” He chuckles.

“Good thing. I love you, Em.” I close my eyes.

“I love you, (Y/N). Goodnight.” He strokes my hair, holding me tight.

Only Embry could keep me at peace when I was the most fearful I had ever been. I couldn’t show it to them, not to any of them. I had to be strong, I couldn’t let anything discourage me from tomorrow. I had to be on my A-game.

I had to do it for those who would do anything for me.

________________________

Word Count: 1377

taglist: @jjpogueprincess

I II III IV V VI VII VIII VIIII X XIR XIE XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIIII

121 notes · View notes

mydrug-is-dragonage · 3 years

Text

Veda Adaar, Life after Bull

Victory. Triumph. Glory. Pride. What we usually feel when we win a battle. The quiet grief of cutting down lives, regardless of how worthy they are of death, but the warm joy, knowing we saved someone or something or everyone or everything from a grand or small evil.

Victory. We stood on the balcony, crowded together, together again for the first time in years. Thom and Sera, Divine Victoria’s watchful eyes, Cassandra and Varric’s constant disdainful flirting, Cole and Maryden’s quiet affection, Dorian and Vivienne both wine drunk trading insults, the quiet acknowledgement of a friendship that grew against both of their wills. Josephine and Cullen arguing, treating the terrace like battlements, more performative as they both know the end is closer than the beginning. Solas, our own personal god, long-gone into the eluvian. We’re all here, we’re all together. All of us, but Bull.

Triumph. The weeks have passed, a quick and effective rebuke from the Arishok, King Alistair and Empress Celene accept it quietly, no time for war with another battle floating above us in the air. Back at Skyhold, a skeleton crew, these days just Harding and me spend our time in the battle room, staring at maps; Leliana’s other protégés are always off on missions. Sera pops by every now and then to see Dagna with bees and trinkets and little things to remind me that she’s never really gone. The best day, or the worst depending on the audience, Sera and Dagna came up to my room, giggling, presented me with a crossbow for where my arm ought to be. “Widdle’s a wizard, yeah! You’ll be on rooftops sticking it to people too big for their breeches in no time!” I thanked them, and sent them away. This is love, at least for Sera. Her love is violence and showy maneuvers, dancing with both hands and feet shaking about.

Glory. Josephine writes me letters, telling me to eat, to ask Cullen to write back. After a few months, she finally pens, “I know I am no longer your formal ambassador, but as your informal friend I find it painful to admit what has been sung in the inns and halls. Bards have taken your loss and turned it into song. Unlike what Maryden had composed, these are unfortunately mocking in nature. People have taken the final act and written it as the whole narrative, my lady. A play premiered in Val Royeux putting you at the center of the conflict, as the one who allowed it to happen. If you desire, I can put an end to this. Divine Victoria recommended assassins, but I’ve temporarily dispelled her more primal desires. Likewise, Mr. Arainai also reached out, grateful for the assistance you had given him evading the Crows. I similarly told him no. Above all, regardless of what action we take, I want you to know I am sorry. You’ve lost much, suffered more than so many of us. I’m sorry, Veda. I love you.” It wasn’t unexpected, bards sing, playwrights write. They tell the tales people want to hear. Immortalizing betrayal has always turned them into legends.

Pride. A cold morning, one with little to be done, Charter and Rector off in Nevarra, the crows neither coming or going, Lace came into my room, “Sorry to bother you, V, we’ve got a vistor.”

“Avoidable?” I ask.

“What an impossibly rude question, darling.” I looked up from my desk and saw her horns pointing from the stairway.

“Oh, Vivienne, I wasn’t expecting you,” I said. I don’t stop the smile on my face. For all our differences, we’d become like sisters. On her best days, she’d fawn over me like a mother.

“That’s Grand Enchanter now, My Lady Inquisitor.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Lace said, excusing herself. I waited to hear the door close, then the other. Vivienne stood, graceful and stoic as ever. A few more moments of silence, then she broke into a smile. She took off her hat, placed it on the sofa, and walked towards me, arms splayed.

“Oh, my dear, how I’ve missed you!” I stood up, robes draping and hiding me.

I leaned into her hug, resting my head on hers. “Grand Enchanter, really Viv?”

“One must keep appearances, darling. Besides, imagine if Bull heard you call me…” She heard it as it left her mouth. “Oh, my sweet, I’m so sorry. While we should have anticipated his betrayal, I know the loss must weigh on you heavily.” She nestled further into my chest. I breathed out, for a moment just Veda, not the Inquisitor, not the betrayed lover, not the important person forced upon me. I was mortal, Vashoth, tall and strong and being hugged by someone who loved me enough to allow me to be small and weak. We settled onto the couch. I pulled my legs in front of me

“You know better than anyone. I remember, I was there when you lost Bastien.”

“And I was there when you lost the Iron Bull,” she sighed. “We are sisters in grief, as well as sisters in victory. We’re sisters in success, although your’s has had its struggles as of late. I assume the Divine told you of the bards?”

“Josephine.”

“The Nightingale sending a gentler songbird. Wise.”

“I assumed it would happen. Charter brought back the lyrics and playbook from what she considered the more consumable tales,” I said.

“They’re vile, darling. I offered the services of the Circle. The Divine declined. I assumed she had sent assassins.”

“No, I turned down the offers.”

“You’re losing political capital, my dear. If you want to return to the world, recruit who you need to defeat Solas, you’ll need allies. New allies, old allies. It will require quite the force and connections. You know you have the Circle, as much as we can politically sacrifice in this turbulent time,” she said.

“It isn’t the first thing on my mind, at the moment,” I said.

“And why not darling? If you choose to remain in obscurity at some point it will no longer be a choice.”

It’s spring, it is the last night at Skyhold before we leave for the Exalted Council. Cullen and Josephine have been up bickering most the evening, finally put to rest. I settle into my room, sitting at my desk, twiddling my pen. My bag is packed, the horses are ready. The door creaks open. I don’t look up, I can smell him from here. Even after a bath he smells like home, smoky and warm. “Hey, Kadan.”

“Hey,” I say, “they finished?”

“Well, Cullen is now arguing with Cabot which gave me enough time to get the serving girls to feed Josephine. She wanted to get back to bickering, but I asked her if the itinerary had been checked. So I think they’re fine for now.”

“They’re just worried about tomorrow, the coming weeks. It’s normal,” I say,

“You’re the one who grew up with humans. They worry too much, but it makes them easy to work with. Like clay.” I smile and look back down at my papers. “Enough work, Kadan. You can’t do anything more today.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Are you going to make me?” I smirk.

“Oh, is this what we’re doing?”

“Oh you didn’t know?” I laugh. “I thought you knew it all, everything I needed, Ben-Hassrath training, remember?” He smiles and walks towards me, I slide back in my seat and he scoops me up.

In bed, his heart pumps slow and heavy in his chest. I trace his body with my hands, his arm around me. Our horns rub against each other, small grooves from the years of lying here together. “Better?” He asks.

“What do you think?”

“I know. I just want to know if you know.” I lean up and kiss him.

“Yes, better.” He smells better when he’s sweaty. Something about those early days, seeing him tear through crowds, watching his arms lift and push those heavy swords and axes. Long before, when the Chargers still existed, when he wasn’t just my man, but their man.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“I’m sorry, you know,” I say. For a moment, he’s silent, sitting in the grief.

“You made the right choice. You made the only choice. You led like a Qunari.”

“It shouldn’t have been my choice. I should have let you decide,” I say.

“No,” He says, clipped. “You are the Inquisitor. It was your decision, to keep the alliance or lose it. You made history. You stopped a batshit insane darkspawn from destroying the world.”

“I could have stopped him anyway,” I say.

“We don’t know that. The Tamassrans used to say, ‘When there are no right choices, the right decision is the one you make and the one you live with.’” I nestle into his chest.

“I’m happy the Qunari have kept you here.”

“Me too, Kadan.”

“I love you, Bull.” He pulls me closer into him. For a moment, I wonder if he’s crying.

“I don’t want you to be angry, Viv,” I said.

"Oh what now darling? First you go into solitude like a hermit, what’s next?” I put my legs down and pulled my robes back. “What’s this?” She looked, at first with curiosity, then her eyes widened. “Veda, oh Veda, are you?”

My eyes well, “Yeah, Viv. I am.”

She covers her mouth, the first time I’ve seen her truly shocked. “And is it…?” With that question, the tears fall. The heavy sobs wrack my chest and Vivienne crawls towards me, arms draped around my shoulders and I cry into her chest. “Oh darling, of course you’ve been distracted.” She rubs the back of my head, stroking my neck as I calm down. “Should I ask Harding for some tea? Juice? No wine, of course.” I shake my head. “Oh dear. Who all knows?”

I swallow and trap my tears in my chest. “So far you, Leliana, Thom, and Cassandra. Lace knows, and she’s kept questions from Charter and Rector to a minimum.”

“You haven’t told Josephine?”

“How could I? What could I possibly say, ‘Oh yes, enjoy your new career in Antiva! By the way, I’m carrying the betrayer’s child! Send my love to Yves and Yvette!’”

“I don’t think keeping it secret is much wiser, my dear. People will know, especially once the child is here. Do the Qunari know?” She asked.

“As far as Leliana’s sources know, no. Bull was loyal to the end, they had no reason to think he’d do this, especially when it hadn’t happened in the years before.”

“When did this happen?”

“Right before we left for the Exalted Council,” I said.

“Oh.”

“I know,” I said. “He must have known. I can’t decide if this was kindness or cruelty.”

“What’s that line he always said, darling? ‘When it’s a hostile target, you give them what they want. When it’s someone you care about, you give them what they need.’”

The tears well again. My hands slide to swollen belly. “It isn’t what I wanted. I had never even considered it. He was Qunari enough that I knew we’d never have a family.”

She reached a hand towards my belly, “May I?” I sniffed and nodded. She placed her hands on my stomach, on top of my own hands. “If this isn’t what you wanted, then it must have been what he thought you needed.”

“He couldn’t have known we’d win. He fought like he meant it. He struck me with his blade. He wasn’t fighting to lose.” The anger and grief mixed in my throat.

“He wasn’t, he never did, darling. But he knew you. He knew us. He knew you’d bring me and Cassandra. He knew what the Qunari could and couldn’t do. He believed in you, at the end. Just as he had at the beginning, my dear.” I took a hand from my belly and moved it to the outside of my horn, the groove still there from the years spent lying together.

“I’m not planning on bringing my child into the public life. We’ll have a few years, at least, presuming we aren’t all destroyed by Solas,” I said.

“Shh, no reason to worry about that right now, darling. We have today’s troubles and tomorrow’s troubles.” She sat back and blinked away her own tears. “I’ve never been an aunt before. I’ll of course send over a suite of clothes and supplies from Val Royeux.”

I wipe my eyes and smile, “Are you going to be an aunt or a Grandma’am?”

"Oh you miserable louse, how dare you?” She said, the tears finally pouring from her eyes.

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #inquisitor #adaar x bull #iron bull #the iron bull #inquisitor x bull #da #dai #fanfic #dragon age adaar #bull x adaar #dragon age vivienne #madam de fer

30 notes · View notes

genshin-obsessed · 3 years

Note

hi pocket! moth here, and as promised, i'm giving you word after word after word after word....

i got cicada to type some stuff down too since he also wanted to send something to you in congratulations!! <3 <3

----moth

congratulations on 6k! you're really rad and i genuinely think that you deserve all this support and love, it's just really nice to see that you've progressed so quickly and smoothly! you've put a ton of effort into things your write, your events, everything! your interactions with your anons are just so nice, and that's all because you're an amazing person!

when i joined the genshin fandom, you were one of the first blogs that i had run into, and that's pretty neat. at first, i didn't follow you, since i wasn't really used to your writing. but as i kept on encountering your works, i eventually grew accustomed to it- and i like your writing style! v swag :)

your oc, toxin, is just- perfection. i like the whole background thing, powers, but the fic i liked the most was the one where toxin attempts to poison you. my imagination can just run wild from there, picturing out what the character did after running out to go after toxin, but for zhongli's case how he took care of you + what he did after.

you, pocket, are a wonderful person- if you receive hate, you don't deserve it! 6000 seems like a large accomplishment, and it must've felt really nice to hit that number. a great person like you deserves the world, but the world may not deserve you. your presence alone on tumblr is practically a blessing, and i'm grateful for everything that you've wrote! not only that, but you've helped me become bolder and interact off anon. i think that's pretty neat, genuinely.

i'm sure many others think the same: ilysm(/p) pocket! even if i fall out of the genshin fandom(which i most likely won't bc of XIAOOOOOOOOOOOO <3 <3 <3 <3), i'll still revisit your blog. reading over your works always makes me crack a smile, whether it's angsty or not. your ability to write is amazing, and some of your works had even inspired a few of mine!

a collab with a person like you is like a dream come true. i look forwards to future interactions, and hopefully they're all positive! i support you no matter what, and you can't change that, hehe.

-your local xiao simp,

moth.

----cicada

hello, i believe you've never interacted or heard of me before? i go by cicada online, a friend that appears on moth's blog every now and then. they told me about your 6k followers, and i think that's pretty neat. to be honest when you told moth that you'd do a collab with them i was happy they chose you, since you're a really good person. pocket, thank you so much for everything you've done for me, moth, all of us- i cannot express my gratitude towards you, and i am proud of that because i can usually express my gratitude to others within words. however, since my gratitude towards you is off the charts, i cannot form it in words. regarding the collab, i will attempt to help moth with angst, however my help might not be needed. i thank you deeply, for fueling my everyday energy to get up. reading through your works gives me so much serotonin, and i appreciate that greatly. have a good day or night, perhaps afternoon, mx. pocket.

-cicada.

----any last words before we go sleep?

moth - ily, pocket! /p

cicada - thank you, congratulations. (note: get your well deserved rest, pocket.)

----goodnight, good morning, good afternoon wherever you are ! !

ok so like i genuinely started crying at this and I don't normally get very emotional. You both left me speechless, so that's one of the reasons why I'm taking so long to respond T^T

I'll split my response here to the both of you!

its kinda long- sorry xD also can I just call yall "the bugs" cuz its just so cute ;-; your names are adorable-

Moth, you are such a sweetheart. Like I said earlier, I'm not someone who gets very emotional! But your words brought tears to my eyes (tears of joy ofc) and it took me a while to respond because every time I saw what you'd written, I'd just have this giant smile on my face. I'm really glad you chose to follow me and I'm so happy you chose to talk to me! I always try to be fun and welcoming so that people who do wanna interact can do so, but I get it, there are so many people here it can get daunting.

But I'm glad you reached out! I'm so happy to have a friend like you! Ima be honest, the first few times you sent something in off anon, I was like "o.o they forgot anon-" BUT NOW LOOK AT YOU! Thank you, I really appreciate it. I'm actually pretty self-conscious about my writing but I try to do my best and post- even though I don't like what I've written, so your words really do help me! You're the type of reader every writer wants. Seriously!!

Ah, Toxin! Yes, I've had her as an oc for such a long time and then I finally perfected her! She's been in so many fics of mine and she's finally getting the recognition she deserves!! I'm glad you enjoyed that fic, it's one of my faves! I planned to do a p2 with some other characters but held off cuz I thought people would get bored- yet here you are, sparking my will to write it again!

I still can't believe I hit 6k! Honestly, that's so many people!! and they all like me and my stuff!! it's really hard to believe- there are days I think its a dream >.< silly, I know xD actually, when I first joined tumblr, it was because of BNHA and I saw this writer who had 10k followers at the time and I just was like "that's not even possible" yet here I am- 4k away T^T

I genuinely hope Xiao keeps you here, but if you have to leave for another fandom that's ok too! I can only hope we'll meet once again there too! I think some people in life are meant to be friends and are just meant to know each other! And I'll hope you're one of them! Cuz you're one of the awesomest friends I've had and I love you as well (/p)!! <333

Cicada, omg haiii!! I've heard very little about you since Moth took FOREVER to tell me there's another writer hidden back there!! I'm glad I got a chance to talk to you, even if it's like this! I'm not sure how much you know about me >.< seems like a lot so I'm sorry that I don't know that much about you!

Thank you so much, you're so very sweet and I can't express how happy your words made me. For a long time now, I always wake up and wonder how I can make my friends smile or laugh, and now that's extended to this blog. To hear how happy my writing makes people brings me so much joy that even I can't express it. I know there are many people out there who have lots of things to deal with in life and to know that my writing's helping them through that fuels me to write more!

I'm so glad I can do the same for you! We may not know each other- or maybe it's mostly on my end- but I still want to make you smile! I want to make everyone who stumbles upon my blog smile as well! Life can get hard and it feels so impossible sometimes but if I can give someone the energy to go on, then I'm pretty content with my own! Thank you for reading my works and thank you for telling me this because it really did make me happy.

Aw, thank you, I hope it's not too much! Though I specialize in angst (at least, I like to think so), I wanted to give Moth the opportunity to try! I'll do my best to make the fluffiest fluffing comfort you've ever seen!! Or uh something like that ^w^"

I really do hope that you and I can talk more so I can get to know you! Oh! And that google form- it was super adorable ^w^

You two are too kind and you best believe I'm saving this lil ask <3 you both very well made my entire week (along with that meme anon with those cute memes) and I'm sending you both hugs!! or cookies ^w^ whichever you prefer!

Also, it was nighttime when you sent this and now its 3am >///< i need sleep-

#🌸─ pocket tries #✧ ─ moth #✧ ─ cicada #you're both so sweet #this is one of my favorite asks #<3 #never change #you two

7 notes · View notes

taehyungsgrowl · 4 years

Text

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES!

‘Here is an “Oh! No! I’m quarantined with my roommate, Jim, who I happen to have sexual tension with” blurb that literally, no one asked for because what else am I supposed to do? Decompose?

I wish.

It’s been a day but I hope you like this.

ALSO, fair warning - there is no plot, really. Shameless smut. Also, the tone of this is really casually, now that I read it back. IDC. Enjoy.

warnings: smut, quarantine trope

You laid in your bed scrolling through the same few apps over and over. It had only been a few days since this quarantine nonsense and you already wanted it to be over. You were tired of seeing the same thing on the news over and over. All you wanted was something to take your mind off of this pandemic.

The only thing you could be grateful for at the time was who you were stuck in the house with.

You had only been living with your new roommate, Jim, a few months before this all started. Ever since move-in day you weren’t able to keep your mind from wandering about Jim. Those pretty blue eyes and easy laughter were a way to your heart.

Of course, not wanting to make living arrangements weird, you kept those thoughts to yourself. However, he didn’t make it easy; always coming home from the beach without his shirt on, always inviting you to cuddle on the couch with him... sometimes those lines between roommates or more blurred too much.

And being locked in a house with him with no other distraction or outlet... focusing on anything other than wanting him was incredibly hard.

“Y/N,” you heard his voice call you from the living room. “Come here,” he whined.

You glanced in the mirror giving yourself a look over before heading out. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen you at your worst before, but you still wanted to leave an impression on him.

“Hey,” you ruffled his hair as you passed him on the couch, taking a seat next to him, “What’s up?”

“I’m bored and you’re locked up in your room.” he pouted. It made you just want to bit down on him pretty plump lips. “Figured we might as well be bored together.” he chuckled.

He leaned back in the couch, one arm thrown lazily over the cushion. He relaxed in a form-fitting white t-shirt and gray sweatpants that just drove you crazy.

“Sure,” you smiled at him, bringing your legs up to the couch. You noticed his eyes lingered a little longer on your legs, making your face warm up. “What did you have in mind?” Everything in the room seemed quieter - the TV was still blasting whatever rerun he was watching, but only you and him seemed to matter at that moment.

Jim scooted closer to you on the couch, his arm now draped over your shoulder. “I’m sure there are ways we can pass the time,” his tone was suggestive as his eyes looked down at your lips.

You squirmed in your seat - sure, Jim had always been a little flirty, but he’d never been this suggestive.

“Yeah, but what?” you repeat, feeling your heartbeat quicken as thoughts of having what you’ve been dreaming of come true.

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N,” he chuckled, lifting your chin up to get a look into your eyes. “Tell me you don’t want me as much I want you right now?” his voice was low and silky.

He leaned forward until his lips ghosted over yours, you could smell his minty gum fan your nose. “Hmm?” he questioned, a smile in his tone after you didn’t respond to his question.

“I want you,” you admitted, closing your eyes in hopes that he’d finally press his mouth on yours.

Jim complied by grabbing your face in his hand and kissing you firmly.

You felt his fingers in your hair and you melted into him. You pushed forward kissing his deeper.

He steadied you back into your place as he pulled away, smirking as you frowned for being cut off from his lips. “You really didn’t think I knew?” he reached for your hips and pulled you into his lap. You settled into him, your legs on either side of him. “I see the way you look at me,” his nose dragged along your jaw, “I notice all those cute little outfits you like to wear to bed.” He snapped the waistband of your pair of pink short sleeping shorts, “These are my favorite,” he winked.

“Not to mention,” his eyes met yours, “I’ve heard the ‘Jim... Oh, Jim, fuck, fuck me,’” he mimicked your voice, “That you moan in the shower.” he spoke against your lips.

God you thought to yourself. There was a mixture of arousal and shame bubbling through you.

Had it been that obvious to him as well?

“Aw, don’t get all shy on my now princess,” he mumbled against you.

“Tell me what you want.” he continued, his fingers dancing along your sides.

“I want you to fuck me, Jim.” you could feel his bulge pressing against the thin material of your shorts.

“Can’t believe,” he peppered kisses along your jawline and neck, the chuckle he let out under his breath sending tickles to your skin, “It took a global pandemic to get you to admit it,”

“Hush,” you grabbed his face and pulled him back on to your lips. He chuckled at your desperation, but could you really be blamed? You had been waiting for the moment for months. You began to rock back and forth on his lap, your silky short sliding against his pants.

His hand came down to smack your ass, gripping it. “Told you we’d find a way to kill time.”

You grew wetter as his hands roamed under your shirt and began groping your breasts; you never bothered to wear a bra around the house and you (and Jim) were grateful for it now that he squeezed them and toyed with your nipples.

Both of you explored one another under and over your clothes as you made out on his lap. No rush - not like either of you had anywhere else you could go. You started to grind down harder in his lap, feeling the fabric of his sweats rub against your pussy.

“Makin’ a mess?” he groaned, hooking his arms around your waist and standing up with you in his arms. He walked to the edge of the couch and set you down in front of the armrest.

“We should take care of that...” he pushed you forward until you were bent over the armrest. His long finger wandered up to your thighs, dipping into your shorts to feel the pool of arousal you had.

He brushed them over your pussy. He didn’t notice just how sensitive you were to his touch. Barely even touched you and your breathing changed. He brought his coated fingers out and pushed himself against your ass, slowly teasing himself (and you) by moving his hips against you. Jim tapped his wet fingers against your mouth - you opened and took his fingers in, sucking on them like you would his cock. Your tongue circled around his digits and you suckled softly, taking them further down your throat, moaning for him.

Jim pulled his fingers out of your mouth and hooked them into your shorts, pulling them down in one fluid movement - he was done teasing for now. He felt his cock throbbing in his pants.

He quickly discarded his clothes before grabbing his cock and using his tip to play along your slippery slit. One large hand was placed on your lower back and he slowly pushed you further, bringing you into the right position. You arched your back and looked at him over your shoulder.

“Please, just fuck me, Jim,” you sighed.

He pushed into you, slowly letting you adjust to his length. One of his hands held himself at the base of his cock while the other tangled into your hair. “Fuck,” he snapped his hips forward.

“Oh my god,” This was everything you’d been dreaming about. His thick cock inched more and more into you until his balls met your skin. You could feel him pulsing inside of you.

“You feel so good, fuck,” he groaned as he started to pump in and out of you. He went almost completely out before ramming back inside. He pulled on to your hair as his pace quickened.

“Jim, fuck, Jim.” you whined his name over and over, much like you had during your shower sessions. “Please. Fuck, harder.”

“Harder?” he took you by the hips and began pounding deeper. “That’s it, baby,” he encouraged

Your legs began to shake and you were thankful for the couch (and Jim who held on to your hips to tightly, you could already imagine the bruising he was leaving).

“I’m gonna cum,” you warned him, biting down on your lip.

His hand slapped down on your ass again. He watched as it bounced under his hand and that was almost enough to push him over the edge.

“Go on,” he pulled you up against his body, holding you there with his cock deep inside you as you finished. Hearing your sweet moans and curses, Jim finished as well. You felt his cum drip down your thighs as soon as he pulled out.

Jim turned you around and kissed you hungrily. He knew this changed your relationship from roommates to well... he wasn’t really sure, but he was eager to find out. Maybe quarantine wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“Can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner,” he said, pressing his forehead to yours.

anyway i dont care for this really ksdfjs but i wanted to do something so here u go and pls be nice lol

tagging: @xavierplympton @desertsunflower00 @praythatwitch @angxlbaby666 @moonanonwriting @lizhomitz1984 @amethyst-v @lovelylangdonx @angel-langdon @spoo-per @langdonswhoreprobably @midnightontheearth @quillanpie @sadhoecentral @little-grunge-flowerz @victoriageiser @satcnas @littlegirlsdontplaynice @cam-elija @pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc

#idk why it wont let me tag some blog #jim mason #jim mason x reader #jim mason smut #the tribes of palos verdes #ttopv #cody fern

211 notes · View notes

fathermarty · 3 years

Note

hello hello, darling ! i hope your day has been lovely, thus far .

if you would be so kind as to ship me with an hp character (preferably marauders era), i would be v grateful !

i’m a slytherin, but i have a ton of gryffindor qualities, once you get to know me . i have different faces for different people, and people rarely see me cry . however- once you break my apprehensive barrier, i am extremely loud, funny, charasmatic, and just downright weird .

i have a lot of trauma, and i have depression/anxiety, so that adds some ✨spice✨ to my life . i’m not good with conveying emotions, but i am extremely empathetic, and am known as the extremely sarcastic, dry, yet incredibly kind, sweet, and loving, therapist/mom friend .

i am tall (5’9), a bit clumsy, but i think it fits my oddball personality . i’m good at holding down the fort, and i’m v good at handling rowdy personalities, and i am great at matching people’s energy .

oooh! i also loveeee music (huge one direction fan here ;)) and i am v good at art and makeup (if i do say so myself) .

hope this wasn’t a bore to read, and thank you for letting me request ! <33

hello dear!

it has been good, It is currently storming its ass off here so that's fun. well besides the fact my car is white and is currently parked beside a FUCKING DIRT MOUNTAIN. it's fine it’s fine everything is fine. i hope you are doing well hun!

okay, so I personally ship you with Remus hard fucking core. like i don't know if anyone else should be shipped w him?!

So picture this: you guys meet in the hospital wing, him after having a rough full moon, and you from just being clumsy. You are stuck in the wing for the whole day like him, so you guys start chit-chatting.

Remus is a bit weary because you are a Slytherin but he learns that you are different just from talking to you. At some point during the day, you both are roaring with laughter at something you said. Remus finds himself enjoying your company more and more as each minute passes. You guys become friends and you make Remus promise to reach out more.

“Don’t worry y/l/n, you are stuck with me now.”

Oh boy was he right. Every class you guys had together he would ditch his friends for you. You even found yourself sitting with the Mauraders. “Don’t get your jumper in a knot Potter, I am not here to steal Lily.” You said one particular day sending a wink in the direction of the boy's precious LilyFlower. Everyone who was in earshot roared with laughter and ever since then, the Mauraders have become your friends too.

You were always there to help James and Sirius with their crushes and just there for them in general. Even Peter would come to you for some advice when he was not sure what to do. This made Remus’ heart swell.

Anytime you were with the Mauraders you had them laughing, sometimes unintentionally because you are a klutz, but laughing nonetheless.

It wasn’t long until you figured out about Remus's lycanthropy, and you never directly told him you knew but it was pretty obvious. You would “coincidentally” be in the hospital wing the day after the full moon with an “injury” but you and Remus both knew you were not hurt. You just wanted to be there for him.

After a few full moons, Remus officially told you in a panic and he let all his emotions out. You were there to be his shoulder to cry on. You sat on his lap with his head buried in your neck. You ran your hands through his hair as you consoled him. This was when you decided your barrier would come down for Remus.

Sure enough, the next time you had a depressive attack Remus was there. You came to his dorm (he told you the common room door password) because at that moment you needed him. Your beautifully immaculate makeup that he has come to look forward to seeing every day was smudged as tears and down your face. Remus let you lay on his bed as he conjured up a makeup wipe to clean up your face, he knows how much you care about your skin. After he took your makeup off he turned on the record player so music couldn't softly play. Then he crawled beside you and did just what you needed, he held you while you cried. He held you to his chest as he rubbed your back and carefully cradled your neck rubbing small circles on the side.

You and Remus aren’t sure when everything became official but it was obvious that you guys were an item. He would take care of your small bumps and bruises from your clumsy rendezvous and you would take care of him before and after the full moon. You guys became each other's rock.

“Y/n you are the most incredible woman I have ever met. You are so incredibly strong and you wear your heart on your sleeve. Your beauty shines both on the outside and inside. You make life so much more enjoyable baby, I love you.”

Ayeeeee my third ship, thank you so much for requesting honey! I hope you like it <3 My inbox is open for more ships ^_^

xoxo father marty ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

mwah

8 notes · View notes

decembermoonskz · 3 years

Text

Hello moonbeams~! Writing letters is something I’m good at, because even if I stumble in all other forms of communication sometimes, my writing, my words never fail me. The overall negative energy, annoyance and sometimes hatred towards the pandemic, the social/political topics and the year in general can be very draining and or taxing on me and you all. Of course we’re upset too but seeing so much hate can be draining for people like me, and maybe you. So for a moment, grab a seat and a blanket and listen as I read this letter to you. This is a letter from me, to you, and I offer a blessing from her majesty the moon herself as well.

2020 has been one hell of a year that’s for sure. I experienced a lot of sadness, fatigue and overall lower moods as I tend to take on the energy of the world heavily. There has been so much that’s happened to us all, sadness, fear, anger, heartbreak; but even still we survived it. There were so many that felt we wouldn’t make it through this year or make it to the end as it felt like it would go on forever, but we’re here now, to write these letters, to tell these stories.

Even in this hectic year, I experienced so much, I felt happiness, joy I cried a lot and released so many pent up feelings, I came to terms with things I had locked away, I laughed a lot, I found passions that I thought were long lost. So much has happened to me in this year both ups and downs and I’m grateful for it all. You may be wondering why I would be grateful for downs as well, they helped teach me things, how strong I am; how it’s okay to give in and feel your sadness or pain; to validate my emotions; and a lot more. I hope that with all that’s happened you were able to take in some lessons yourself.

Below this cut, I wanted to thank some people who made my experience on tumblr as wonderful as it has been, more amazing than I had ever expected it to be. I came on here extremely nervous about sharing my stories and these people have been so warm and welcoming and honestly I wouldn’t have enjoyed my time as much without them. I’ll have my ending message at the bottom of this.

@sleepylixie Lily darling, my brain twin!! you’ve made my short tumblr life so much fun! sharing brain waves one moment, soundboarding ideas the next, and having so many things in common between us it’s crazy (wolfie gang). You’ve become one of the best things to happen to me on this site! xoxo thank you for always sharing your wonderful ideas with me and for sharing my love of fantasy!! Oh and I can’t forget all the shared screaming we do over skz and anything else xD I’m so glad we started talking and even in just a short time I feel so close to you already!! Thank you for letting me vent out all my ideas and for letting me be that person for your ideas too, thank you for always giving such good feedback and opinions and thank you for just overall being one of my favorite people to talk to. I hope we can make more wonderful memories in the coming year and beyond it. love you darling have a beautiful 2021~ 💜💜💜 ⟪ song rec: Another Day - Stray Kids ⟫

@rebecca-noona Becca! You were the first person to interact with my blog and when I look back on it, I’m so thankful you did. I love our talks about Korea and skz and writing. Your support has always been incredibly helpful, thank you for always being a cheerleader for me, it means the world. I hope you know I love you and support you and your works and whatever you wish to do so much as well!! I’m so happy we started talking and you make me so happy. Thank you for being my friend and when I finally get to Korea you gotta show me around when you get back!! I hope your process of getting back is smooth and easy, stay as optimistic as you can love!! xoxo ⟪ song rec: motive - Ariana Grande (ft. Doja Cat) ⟫

@skzctnightnight bel! bel! :DD it’s your words of encouragement that helped me create this blog, you’re one of the reasons I’m here!! your works have been some of my favorites and I was so happy when I first reached out to you. Your kindness really touched me and being your anon at the time was so much fun >v< Prowl will forever be one of my favorite series and you inspire me with your works!! I love talking with you no matter if it’s a quick chat, or a long convo, I always love talking to you. Thank you for making my 2020 so nice! I’m glad I know you and let’s talk more soon! <3 ⟪ song rec: Clarity - Kim Petras ⟫

@aliceu Alice!! I’m so thankful we met by chance when replying to one of Lily’s posts LOL I think it was an ask of yours about fantasy, and we shared a mutual love for it xD I want you to know that I always smile and I’m always happy when you send asks or dms so please I hope you never worry about being a bother and keep sending them hehe >v</ Thank you for always taking some of your time to check out my stories and for always leaving such wonderful feedback too!! It makes me happy to read your mini reviews about them!! Thanks for having little chats with me too. I enjoy them always and I hope we can continue to chat more 2021!! Please have a great new year and stay safe and comfy uwu ⟪ song rec: TMT - Stray Kids ⟫

@t-toodumbtocare Bar! xoxo I’m so glad we finally started talking and I’m hoping we can talk more soon >w<b You’re so fun and sweet and your stories are cute!! I wanna read more soon!! >^<9 Thanks for our little chats and thanks for checking out my stories as well I appreciate it. I hope to get to know you better in the coming year and I hope you have the best 2021!! ⟪ song rec: Cruel Summer - Taylor Swift ⟫

@delicatewerewolfsoul Vicky!!! I’m so happy we started talking! I loved talking about animals and pets with you and I loved all the skz soft hours asks you sent (I hope you send more of them psst psst) they made my day!! You’re such a sweetheart and you’re a master of heart memes xD I hope your 2021 is wonderful just like you are!! Stay safe and warm you cute bean xoxo ⟪ song rec: Inception - ATEEZ ⟫

@dreamescapeswriting Hi M!!! Okay full disclosure!! I’ve actually read some of your works before having tumblr LOL Like I really enjoyed them (Lucky and You Love Me are so cute) and honestly I was shy about reaching out but I’m so glad I did because now I wanna continue to talk and send you hugs! >V< I’m so glad we’re both gamers and your asks make me so happy! Thank you for being the sweetie you are and I hope we can talk more in 2021!! Have a great new year cutie!! <3 ⟪ song rec: False God - Taylor Swift ⟫

to my mutuals and other moonbeams who I wanna talk to more and love and support so much!! @mikoto-ica-fics @hanflix @chogiwow @redsandroses @meiiyue @missskzbiased @rosieecheeks I hope we can talk more in the new year and I love you a lot!!! You’re all such beautiful souls!! Know I’m sending you love and hugs and all the support I can muster \>v</ xoxoxoxoxo ⟪ song rec: Breath - GOT7 ⟫

To my beautiful nonnies, I’m super happy you’re here. I miss you all and hope you’re well and to the new ones welcome welcome!! I hope you know all your messages make me so happy! When I started my blog, I didn’t imagine I’d have as many anons as I do now, I didn’t think I’d have many, maybe 2 or 3? You guys make me so happy and I hope to see you more in my inbox when you have the time!!! <33 ⟪ song rec: You Can STAY - Stray Kids ⟫

To all my followers, my darling moonbeams!! Thank you so much for joining on this journey of practice and self-love that I’ve been trying to embark on. The comments, the reblogs, the likes, the asks, all of it, it means the world to me. To re-learn that it is possible for people to enjoy what I do, and not tie it to my own self-worth has been something I’m so thankful for. You all helped me learn that so thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy the stories I put out and feel free to reach out anytime! I’m so happy to have 300+ (almost 400) of you lovely moonbeams here! I hope you all have a wonderful 2021! It doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, where you come from, what you identify as, what you believe in, or who you love; you are all precious moonbeams here in this haven. ⟪ song rec: Haven - Stray Kids ⟫

I know I say it a million times but since this is a wrapup letter I’ll share it again shortly. My blog was made for the main purpose of learning to appreciate my passion for writing and to not cage myself from posting and sharing my stories. I wanted to learn to write for myself and that posting stories in and of itself was the main victory, and everything else was the bonus, instead of thinking when people like it, only then is it good. I’ve done that before and having learned from it I now feel more prepared to tackle this. Thank you again for all the warm welcomes and the love I’ve received it still hasn’t quite sunk in for me and it feels so unreal. To know you all enjoy my stories and give me so much love, it’s crazy and it’s happening and I am so happy. I’m very thankful I took the leap of faith even though I was scared and decided to create this blog! 2020 challeneged me as well as pushed me and supported me. I experienced hard times yes, but I also experienced some really amazing things. I found comfort in things new and old, I feel like the quarantine made me come to terms with myself more, not run from things I wanted to confront and talk to myself more. I feel like 2020 albeit really draining in all ways, helped shape me and I got stronger because of living through this year. Now before I get any more preach-y than I already have LOL Thank you for being a part of my 2020 everyone!! I hope to have you with me in 2021 and I hope you experience the blessings of the moon like I feel we all do. See you in 2021 y’all! We’ll get through next year and the next and the next, I know it! 💜

Love Izzy

#my 2020 love letter to you #izzy's 2020 wrapped up #izzy doing stuffs #izzy be rambling #I love you all my moonbeams #🌕 may her majesty the moon watch over you always

13 notes · View notes

t-lostinworlds · 4 years

Text

Lost You (Shawn Mendes) [2]

Feat. Tom Holland

A/N: This took way too long and I am really sorry for the wait. Also, this got a bit long too aha. The song btw is Unloving You by Alex Aiono check him out you guys he’s really talented, so yeah give that a listen because the performance is kindaa based on the song. Anyhow, I hope you guys still like this one!

Summary: After seeing your performance on a song you wrote about him, Shawn went out to get some air, but his peace was quickly interrupted when Tom decided to follow and confront him

Warnings: a sprinkle of Angst and typos

Word Count: 6.4k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

You are very grateful that your dressing room has a bathroom in it, that was the purpose as to why you got out of your seat in the first place.

Your stylist was kind enough to help you out of your dress quickly and into your performance dress, a more comfortable and movable one before you got into the bathroom to empty your bladder.

Tom was being all blushy and cute while you got changed, covering his eyes with both hands and never peeking as promised, making you giggle in midst of your current mix of emotions after what happened with... Shawn.

The dress you wore was pale pink with a long, A-line bottom and a v-neckline to match a low back. The whole dress was covered in lace that extends into cap sleeves with petal appliqués littered all across, giving you an almost, fairy-like type of feel.

You wore close to no make-up now, hair down to frame your face, with your feet all bare, the rawness of your features critical for the song you were going to sing.

You wanted it to be intimate, real and emotional. Not much big production, just pure and simple you on stage, nothing but the beautiful sound of the piano and a few ballet dancers to tell a story.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Tom asked again the moment you reached the couch. Plopping yourself beside him, you nodded with a sigh. "Yeah just, seeing him brought back memories."

Tom frowned at your words, arm extending as he draped it over your shoulder, hand rubbing your arm in comfort. "What'd he say to you?"

You shrugged at his question, fingers picking at your dress as you softly mumbled. "That he still loves me and that he wants to get back together."

"And?"

"No, gosh no. I can't go back to what it once was. I couldn't even if I tried. And I really don't want to because every time I look at him I just see... pain." You shook your head with a frown of your own, hurt spreading inside you as the tainted memories replayed itself inside your head.

"Do you still love him?"

You took a sharp, deep breath at the question, two sides of yourself going against each other as to what you feel about that certain boy. "I don't know." You admitted with a defeated sigh, your mind a mess a long with your heart that you couldn't exactly give Tom a straight answer.

Maybe there's still a part of you that loves him, the Shawn you once knew at least, but that always seems to get clouded by the Shawn you saw just minutes ago. The familiarity in the way he looks at you, the glint in his eyes, it was still there, but barely. You saw a very different person from the boy who you fell in love with, because all you saw was the person who broke your heart into pieces.

"Okay, let's change the subject because the crinkle on your forehead is back, you need to clear your mind and relax. You're performing in a few darling." Tom pressed his pointer finger on the space between your brows, smoothing out the wrinkle with a reassuring smile that you couldn't help but feel all warm.

You looked up at him with a small, genuine but guilty smile. "Thank you and I'm sorr—"

"No need for that love. I've promised you that I'll always be here whenever you need me, and I tend to keep my promises. And before you start, no, you're not being a burden nor are you leading me on. I'm a grown man; I make my own choices, and am aware of the consequences. And as I've said plenty of times before, I am willing to wait for you whenever you are ready." Tom gave your arm a gentle squeeze, eyes boring into yours as it showed nothing but pure genuineness.

You felt your heart melt at the seams at his words, so grateful to have someone be at your side in time of need and one who actually cares about you wholeheartedly.

You are aware of a certain feeling that courses through you whenever you're with Tom. As to what it is? You haven't figured it out completely yet. This just makes things now more complicated than you thought it would be, adding the whole Shawn thing.

Tom and you have talked about what he felt for you, and you've also told him that he's free to find another as you are not sure as to when your heart gets fully healed. You don't want to use him as rebound at all, nor do you want to hold him down, that's why you've never told him anything that'd give him too much hope or anything, feelings wise, that you weren't sure yourself. You've been blunt and honest with him from the start, completely transparent without any sugar coating, but still, he understands and is still willing to wait.

With a simple explanation that you're not exactly ready yet, that you need to focus on yourself and be the person who you're meant to be, Tom understood. He always did, he's just incredible like that.

Pushing yourself up slowly, you placed a soft and sweet kiss on Tom's cheek, the simple action catching him off-guard as you felt his breath slightly hitch. You pulled away to look at him fully, face only an inch apart that you could make out the swirls of his beautiful brown eyes, the tips of your noses almost touching and you couldn't miss the way you felt your heart skipped a beat.

"You are such an amazing person, have I told that?" You whispered softly, Tom's eyes glancing down for a second to catch a glimpse of your lips before they were quick to be back on yours. It was a fast peek, but you caught it nonetheless.

He didn't take it further though, knowing that he can't do that to you right now, especially with what's going on inside your head. You saw it in his eyes, he knew it just wasn't the right time, and you were thankful.

Tom only chuckled with a nod, a soft blush coating his cheeks as he shot you a sweet but playful grin. "Yes, you have told me that, countless times, but I don't get tired of hearing it though."

You rolled your eyes with a laugh, swatting his chest playfully to which he purposely yelped a little too loudly. All overdramatic and everything. "That wasn't even that hard!" You exclaimed with giggles of your own.

"It still hurts love." He pouted at you, rubbing his chest exaggeratedly just for the purpose to sell his act. "I thought you had super strength Spider-Man? Unless you're a fraud." You accused as you narrowed your eyes at him, Tom gasping in feign offense.

"Hey!"

Both of you continued to banter back and forth, giggles and laughs echoing around the space until it was cut off when you were finally called to stage.

***

"Please help me welcome to the stage, your best new artist, Y/N L/N!"

Shawn's head snapped back at the stage once he heard your name. He'd been seating all angsty the moment he got back from meeting you in the hallway. He has been silent the rest of the night unless someone acknowledged him, but otherwise, he kept still and quiet, just waiting for you to appear on stage.

He was a complete and utter mess, but nothing a few fake smiles can't hide. Having done this before, all the eyes and the cameras lurking about, he was getting good at masking his feelings.

The lights started to dim as the applause faded out, the whole arena eerily quiet until a single spotlight shown right at the very back of the stage. And there you were, standing in all your raw and breathtaking beauty that Shawn has ever seen you in.

"I wish I could unsay the words I said..." Your voice echoed throughout the whole place, the sound sending shivers down Shawn's spine as it's been so long since the last time he heard you sing in person.

Then the melody of the piano came rolling in, the music just as beautiful to match your voice.

I wish I could unsee the videos in my head And if I could untie the knot and unhear the promises that you forgot Would I do that? Would I?

Shawn's heart ached at that. He knew what this song was about, from the very first moment you released it, he knew it was about him. The pain, the hurt and regret in your voice was clear as day and it took a big swing at his heart.

Movement on the stage snapped him back to reality as you walked forward ever so slowly. You looked like an angel to him, glowing right in the middle of the stage, your dress flowing with every step giving the illusion of you floating in mid-air.

The moment you reached a space another spotlight lit up, illuminating a few dancers acting out as couples as they move beautifully in sync with the song, so much raw emotion in one stage.

Unloving you, is the hardest thing to do Wish I could find a way to be unlove with you Unloving you, you're all I wanna lose But every night I'm closer to the bitter truth I just can't unlove you Maybe I can't unlove you

Shawn understood the lyrics clear as day, he's heard this song more times than he should, but he tried his best to not hold out hope, because he knows you. He knows you can never release a very personal song unless... unless it doesn't hurt you that much anymore. And if you were able to sing this live, then that can only mean one thing.

Maybe you've written the song right after everything. Just pouring every pain and suffering he caused you into lyrics and melodies to help you heal, and maybe by writing this song, you have healed, and releasing it to the world just means it doesn't hurt to revisit it anymore. It means that you've probably moved on, and that only leaves Shawn even more broken that he already is.

I wish I could unfeel your skin I wish I could undrown these feelings and learn to swim Oh if I could unlock the gate and unlight the fire that you put in me Would I do that? Would I?

The couples were now surrounding you, all acting out mundane things like slow dancing, reading books, one even had a mixing bowl in hand as they laughed, but the one that stuck out the most to Shawn was the couple sitting right in the corner, on a picnic blanket, the guy who oddly looked like him, holding a guitar in his hands.

It was way too familiar that Shawn felt his heart sink.

The first time I told her I love her.

Tears started to prick at Shawn's eyes as realization hit him like a truck. What the couples on stage were doing, it was the things you two always did when you were still together. Every single one of it, from making a mess in the kitchen to you reading him stories in bed.

He felt his chest slowly tighten, his body all tense as his mind ran a hundred miles per minute, just thinking about all the beautiful memories that now were tainted, all the blissful things that once was and might never get to experience again. All because of what he did.

Shawn stared right at you as you finished off the last chorus, the lights that were casted upon the couples started dimming one by one, almost serving as a sign that those memories, they were flickering, disappearing into nothing.

Unloving you, is the hardest thing to do Wish I could find a way to be unlove with you

Then the whole stage just burst to life, all dancers now moving in complete sync as you poured your heart and soul into the last beat.

Unloving you, you're all I wanna lose But every night I'm closer to the bitter truth I just can't unlove you

"But someday I will unlove you..." Everything then turned dark, the only light was yours as you stood there, right in the middle of the stage with a proud yet relieved smile.

The whole arena erupted into applause but the only thing Shawn could hear was the sharp ringing in his ears.

That's was it.

That last lyric change was all it took for Shawn to get up his seat and rush out. It may have looked bad if someone caught him, but hell, it would've look even worse if the camera caught him close to tears and unable to breath.

He just needed some air.

***

Shawn didn't know exactly how but he managed to find an empty lot at the very back of the arena, no signs of life so far. Big trucks were parked all around, hiding him some more from any prying eyes that could be lurking by.

He shut his own eyes tight as he threw his head back, the breeze of fresh air cool against his face as he took in as much as he could to try and calm himself down. His mind was still so crowded, so many thoughts rushing in and out of his brain at high speed and he couldn't quite grasp what was real and what was not.

Shawn thought he was okay, that he was good after the break up. He admits, he made the choice, he wasn't fully heartbroken when he did what he did. But as time went by, it slowly started to creep on him, all the pain and sorrow, and when he saw you tonight? That's when everything finally hit, a tidal wave of regret, guilt and hurt, all in one big swoop.

Shawn shook his head as he opened his eyes, now staring straight up at the dark night sky. There was no sound aside from the muffled screaming from inside, the premise somewhat, peaceful in a sense. He took in the calmness of everything around him, and slowly Shawn felt his heart rate go down, breathing going steady as he tried his best to clear his head, just counting the stars that he could see through the blaring lights of the place.

It was going great so far, that until he heard the door he came out of open and then close.

Turning around, he was filled with confusion and pure surprise as the person in front of him was the last who Shawn expected to see. He didn't ever expect to see him at all in pure honesty. Out of the number of persons who could've seen him run out, out of all the people who could've followed him, it had to be Tom Holland himself, how funny.

"If you came here to gloat—"

"No, I came here to give you a word of advice." Tom stood there with his hands in his pockets, a solemn look on his face to which Shawn only responded with furrowed brows. "I don't need your advice." He grumbled.

"I think it's best if you stay away from her." Tom ignored Shawn's comment as he added, voice stern and laced with pure warning, making Shawn scoff as he crossed his arms over his puffed out chest, all tall and confident. The Canadian boy wasn't scared of the British lad that's for sure. "And you expect me to listen to you?"

Tom shook his head. "No, I don't, but for her sake? I know you will." When Shawn didn't say a word, Tom continued, taking one step forward towards him to try and get the point across. "You claim that you care about her right? Then if that really is true, you need to let her go and let her be happy. You owe that to her."

Shawn let's out a mocking laugh, gesturing towards all of Tom as he sneered. "What, with you?"

The lad shook his head with a disappointed chuckle, arms falling limp to his side as if he can't actually believe that this is the card Shawn decided to play. "You're not getting the point here mate."

"No! You're not getting the point. I still love her, and I'm not going to give up until I get her back. I will keep fighting for her no matter the cost." Shawn wasn't one to have temper, he tends to have good control over it in most days, but right now, he couldn't feel anything else aside from anger and utter annoyance.

Sure, Shawn doesn't know Tom fully well, but he already doesn't like him. Maybe it was his ego talking, or maybe it's because Tom was with you but in Shawn's mind? How dare this guy tell him what to do?

Tom's patience was also starting to waver, the thought of you hurting and broken because of what this bastard did and continues to do was enough for Tom to not like Shawn, and he was going to make sure he hears what he has to say. "Do you want to get back with her because you truly love her? Or is it because it hurts your ego to see her with someone else and you just can't have that?"

Shawn blinked as Tom's words echoed inside his mind. He grew speechless at that, eyes casted down to the ground as he looked away to avoid Tom's accusing gaze, and that in itself was already an answer.

"Exactly my point."

Shawn was slowly crumbling, the gears in his head turning as he started to grow confused as to what he truly feels. He does love you, no doubt about that, but is that the main reason why he wanted you back? Or is there an underlying reason, a certain feeling that Shawn just can't seem to admit?

The curly-headed boy wasn't given the time to clear his head though, because Tom didn't stop, he wasn't near done.

Maybe it was all because of the pent up frustration he had for Shawn after so long. Granted, Tom doesn't know much about the guy, but he's heard enough. Just the name of the man who broke the woman Tom cares so much about, he's been hearing it over and over for months on end, all the things he's done. And now, Tom just wanted to let all his frustrations out and give him a piece of his mind.

"I know you're hurting right now, I can see it, but I care about Y/N a lot, and after seeing what you did to her, plus the aftermath? I don't want to be an asshole but you deserve all of it, if not more." Tom crossed his arms over his chest, jaw clenching as his mind went back to all the times you spent hurt and crying in his arms. You were an amazing, kindhearted, and compassionate woman, and you didn't deserve even an ounce of what Shawn put you through.

"Shut the fuck up Tom. You have no right to tell me what I deserve, you're not even in the fucking picture because this is between me and Y/N. This is none of your business. I will choose what the fuck I want to do and who are you to stop me huh?" Shawn growled through gritted teeth, fists balled at his sides as he took a step towards Tom, but the lad didn't seem to be bothered, not when he could match Shawn's anger easily.

"You've already made your choice the moment you broke her heart mate. You chose to be with someone else. Fucking hell, you are with said someone else right now, and then all of the sudden you want her back? Because what? It bothers you to see her with someone? To see her with me?" Tom held his head high as he spat, nostrils flaring with a glare to match, not showing any signs of weakness as they grew even closer, heat radiating off of both guys and it was a matter of time before someone explodes.

Tom was in dangerous proximity if Shawn gets even angrier and decides to get physical, but he wasn't scared, not even a little bit. The guy was obviously taller, maybe bulkier sure, but Tom? Well, he's had training. He knows how to box.

The two were pushing each other to their limit, poking the bear until one finally cracks, neither one seeming to back down as anger, pride, and egos collide. Tom even more so as he kept going at Shawn, words not lessening any blow even in the slightest. Tom had to make sure it thoroughly gets to him, that's why he had to make it sting.

"You weren't there to see how broken she was, how broken you made her, I was. You didn't see how dark it got, how low she felt, but I did. The amount of times she cried because of you, the countless times she felt so insecure about every part of her being because of you, the number of times she beat herself up by saying she was never, and will never be enough all because of what you did, I was fucking there for all of it and it fucking hurts to see her like that." Tom's temper was slowly slipping from him, his heart pounding against his ears at the mere thought of you in pain. He just cares about you so much, and remembering what you went through, it was clouding his mind.

When he went out to follow Shawn, he was planning to just have a casual talk, maturely settle some matters, and maybe even extend some comfort but things escalated way too fast and got way too heated and here they were now, one upping each other on who could get even more angry.

"I'm not standing here out of spite and jealousy, I'm here to tell you that I'm not letting you break her apart again and then just leave for her to pick up the pieces after. I sure as hell won't let her go back to old ways, because she doesn't fucking deserve that Shawn. She deserves to be truly happy, to heal, and you're not the person for that, not anymore because you're the person who broke her." The accusation in Tom's voice was clear as day, and Shawn heard it all too loud, each word ringing in his ear.

Shawn was breathing heavily now, heart beating rapidly against his chest as it pounded hard that it might as well break his ribs, but the anger, once it starts to boil, then it gets even harder to control.

"You're words don't have weight on me. I don't know you, I don't care about you and you're not stopping me from getting her back." Shawn didn't even convince himself on what he said, because everything that Tom has been saying, it was getting to him, in the heart and mind. It was painful to hear it, but maybe that's because it was the truth.

"Can't you see what you're doing to her right now? You're making her relive the darkest times of her life. She's been so much better than before, she's worked so hard to be better, and then you just come prancing in expecting that if you say you still love her, that'll fix everything? Well guess what, It did the exact opposite." Tom wasn't sure what it was but he can't seem to hold his tongue anymore, he was fighting fire with fire, two minds too consumed with outrage that nobody was having any sort of grip on themselves, no sense of control and that only breathes nothing but disaster.

"Shut up." Shawn grumbled hastily, nails digging into his palms at how tight he was balling his fists. The ringing in his ears, it was getting louder and louder, and Tom's words were only making things worse.

"If you can't see how much you're hurting her by pushing your way back into her life then you don't care about her, you only care about yourself. You're just being selfish and it hurts your pride that for once, you're not getting your way with this."

And that's when all Shawn saw was red.

"Shut up!" Shawn screamed, Tom stumbling back once he felt a full on fist collide with his nose and before Tom could even do as much as regain himself, another one hit him square on the jaw.

"Tom!"

Shawn froze at the sound of your voice, shaking and blood-covered fist raised in the air as he watched you run towards them.

A cold chuckle left Tom's lips, wiping the warm blood running down his nose with the back of his hand as he looked at Shawn tauntingly. "You've got to hit harder than that mate."

Shawn glared at Tom, and he was really going to have another blow but you've already reached them before he could even flinch.

"No! You two! Stop!" You hissed.

Shawn's anger was quick to dissipate with just one look at you, quick to be replaced by pure guilt and regret. He was staring at you with a deep frown, and when your eyes met his, all he saw was a look of pure shock followed by disappointment. You shook your head at him, sighing as you turned to the other boy, eyes growing wide once you finally took in his state.

"Oh god, your nose is still bleeding, dammit!" You scrambled, both hands cupping Tom's face gently, turning it from side to side to check if there were any more injuries. The lad only chuckled softly, leaning into your touch like a puppy, hands holding onto your wrists as he gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I'm fine love."

"Well you don't look it!" You scolded, worry laced in your features because this idiot's nose has been broken one too many times, and you were scared that this might have done some permanent damage. And as if Tom read your mind, he spoke.

"It wasn't that hard of a punch, I'm going to be fine." He was clearly instigating Shawn, provoking him to do something again so that Tom could have his chance too, but the other guy only scoffed, crossing his arms to stop himself from doing anything, because if Shawn does, then Tom wins.

"Thomas." You glared at the boy in warning, still in the state of confusion and shock as to why the two of them are here and having a fist fight in the first place. "Okay, okay, I'll stop, sorry darling." Tom pouted at you, to which you could only roll your eyes.

Men and their egos.

Shawn on the other hand has finally had the time to clear his head. He wasn't going to deny the jealousy that was consuming him just watching you be so gently, caring and sweet with Tom, and he so badly just wanted to leave but he needs to talk to you. "Y/N—"

"Just wait Shawn. I'll talk to you in a second." You sighed, sparing him a quick glance over you shoulder to see him nod solemnly and wait, weight shifting from one foot to another, head down like a puppy being scolded.

You turned back to Tom with an equally long sigh. These two really decided to butt heads, at such a public event and place, you were just praying that there weren't any paps or anyone for that matter who caught what just happened. That'd be a party for the press for sure, you can already see the horrifying headlines.

"Go back inside please, Tricia is just by the door maybe she has a tissue in hand." Tom frowned at that, sparing Shawn a look before his worried eyes were back on you. "But—"

"I can handle myself Tom." You flashed him a reassuring smile, but that still didn't seem to put Tom at ease. "I know. It's him I don't trust."

"I can hear you." Shawn interrupted with straight-out snark.

"Good!" Tom responded rather too enthusiastically with mockery laced in his tone, and the two were quick to be back on glaring at each other, willing to have another go, especially Tom because a part of him was itching to land at least one painful punch.

You let out a loud groan of utter aggravation.

Kids. Literal kids and it was taking everything in your power not to grab them both by the ear and drag them inside or to pull all of your hair out and off your head, whichever comes first.

"Tom, please? I'll meet you inside in a bit." You pleaded, and Tom could see that you were starting to get even more exasperated with the two of them bickering. So, he flashed you a sweet smile, giving your arm a comforting rub and then turning on his heel to walk back inside, but not before calling out to Shawn one last time.

"Remember everything that I said Shawn."

With that, Tom was out of sight, you turning around to meet Shawn who was already looking at you with so many emotions, a few of which were sorrow, guilt and regret.

"Y/N, I—" Shawn stopped himself, his mind still a jumbled mess that he can't think of what to say to you. You waited for him to continue, sporting a frown of your own as you took him in, his hollowed cheeks, messy hair, his bloodshot eyes, and his whole demeanor just...different.

"Shawn I'm worried about you." You sighed as you walked closer, the boy shaking his head as he ran a hand over his face. "I'm okay." Shawn stated ever so softly, eyes avoiding yours and that only made your frown deepen.

Worry was growing inside your chest the more you look at him, all defeated and lost, because as much as you're angry and hurt with everything that involves him, you can't find it in yourself to turn off that caring side, the one you'll always have when it's him.

"No Shawn, you are not okay. This isn't you." Your shoulders slumped as you watched him avoid your gaze still, head hanging low even when you're only just a foot apart. "You're not one to pick up fights Shawn, not even when you're drunk. Out of all the people I know, you're the one who has the most control with their temper. And you don't look okay, you've lost so much weight and I can tell just by looking at you. You look too tired, and you just don't look...happy." You pointed out softly.

Shawn lifted his head as he nodded, bottom lip caught between his teeth to stop it from trembling, but his eyes were still elsewhere, still refusing to meet yours.

"Shawn, what's going on?" You asked, just in general, because the happy and glowing Shawn you knew was lost. Some might say it was the toll of touring the world but deep inside, you knew there was something else, something more.

"I–I'm sorry." Shawn croaked, voice breaking as he finally looked at you, so much guilt and regret swimming in his teary eyes. "I–Tom told me... that you went through so much because of me and I'm just—I'm so sorry honey. I really screwed up and I–I know this will never be enough but I'm really sorry... for everything." Shawn couldn't get his words out straight, lips quivering as he tried his very best to keep his tears at bay, but he was miserably failing at it.

You felt your heart ache at the sight, completely at a loss for words because you don't really know what to say. You can't lie to him just to make him feel better, and you can't tell him anything else apart from the full truth. But the truth might just be too cruel, because you haven't forgiven him, at least not yet, and you really don't want to rub salt on the gaping wound.

Shawn must've sensed that you were troubled, because he took courage to take your hand in his, touch delicate as he gave it a reassuring squeeze. "It's okay if you don't want to say anything. I know it will never be easy to forgive me and I understand that, I don't deserve an easy way out of this." He was sniffling his words, tears now slowly falling down his face as he looks at you ever so longingly, and you were stuck again, stuck under his gaze.

You can feel your own tears starting to build, just looking at the broken man in front of you was enough to pull at your heartstrings. You were so conflicted inside, two voices in your head arguing on what you should do, and you don't have the strength to choose one, not when Shawn was so close, close enough to make your walls crumble piece by piece, close enough too for him to easily sway your decision.

Lifting a hand up Shawn cupped your cheek, fingers trembling until it touched your skin, the cold feeling of his palm making your eyes flutter shut as you tried to get a hold of whatever rational thought you had left.

You weren't giving in, you just can't, not after everything you've been through.

"I was fucking stupid, and there won't be a day that goes by that I won't regret everything that I did to you. I will live with the consequences for as long as I need to, but I want you—no, I need you to know that I do still love you, and I–I think I always will." You shook your head as a quiet sob escaped your lips before you could even stop it, a single tear escaping down your face because you were suddenly taken back, to all those memories, both dreams and nightmares.

The stitches on your heart were starting to rip apart, one thread at a time, the pain and hurt back on it's course as your mind kept replaying everything, both good and bad but the bad, it always seems to have the upper hand. "Shawn I—we can't, I can't go back." You whispered. The shake in your voice, the look of utter sorrow and conflict written across your beautiful features were enough for Shawn to understand what was meant, when Tom said that Shawn was only hurting you even further by pushing his way back into your life.

He truly does understand, and as much as he hates to admit it, Tom has opened his eyes. "I know honey, I know and I respect and accept that. It was wrong for me to ask after everything that you've been through, after everything that I put you through. You deserve so much better and I'm really sorry angel." Both of Shawn's hand were holding your face tenderly now, thumb swiping across your cheek to get rid of the tears that were coating them.

You could only give him a nod as you sniffled, words still a jumbled mess inside your head while so many different feelings swam in your heart. You weren't usually the one to grow speechless when it comes to most things, but tonight, you properly have no idea what to say. You can't tell him it's okay when it's not, you can't say you forgive him when you haven't, and you also can't say what the future might hold for the both of you because you really don't know.

The way he looks so fragile, so broken as trickle of tears kept running down his face, you can't find it in you at all to just tell him the cold truth.

Shawn closed his eyes momentarily, dragging in a breath, gathering all the strength that he has left before his brown orbs met yours again. "It hurts me to say this but it's the right thing to do. I have to let you go and I will. I'll keep my distance and let you heal, let you be as happy as you can be, even if it's not with me."

"And you're right, you always are. I am not okay." Shawn let's out a broken sob at that, his dried up tears replaced by new ones as it falls down his face, eyes back on the ground to hide the pain coating them.

Your nimble fingers wrapped itself around his wrists, slowly pulling his hands off your face as you took it in yours. You gave it a squeeze, the action making Shawn look up back to you with teary eyes and trembling lips. "Shawn, you need to take care of yourself. You need to heal too. And please, don't do it for me, don't do it for anyone else but you. Be okay for yourself. Please?"

Shawn gave you a soft nod, a slight pang hitting his chest because you just have the biggest heart, and the fact that he broke it to pieces, he feels so angry and disappointed at himself.

"Can you promise that?" You flashed him a small but genuine smile, hands letting go of his as you raised your pinky finger between your bodies.

Shawn bit his bottom lip to suppress a sob, slowly nodding his head as the tears blurred his vision again. The fact that you still have a little faith that he'd keep a promise, after everything, you just deserve the whole world and more. Shawn is and will always be the biggest idiot for what's he's done to a person as sweet and kind as you.

"I–I promise."

You engulfed him in a hug much to Shawn's surprise, but slowly, his strong arms wrapped around your waist as you rubbed comforting circles on his back. Shawn closed his eyes to relish your warm embrace, as sigh of content escaping his lips, giving you one last squeeze before pulling away.

You two looked at each other, sharing a short but sweet moment as you both exchanged smiles. It wasn't as wide nor bright, but it was genuine, a telltale sign that whatever the future maybe for the both of you, the path of redemption, forgiveness and healing was clear. Whether your paths would cross again at the end? It was for the universe to know and you to find out.

"I'll see you around rockstar."

And with that you walked away. But oddly enough, Shawn's heart doesn't feel as heavy as he watched you leave. Shawn felt content with what happened and he was gladly looking forward to what lies ahead.

-:-:-:-:-

Like and Reblog if you enjoyed! x

S.M. Permanent Taglist: @dylshoney @keithseabrook27 @outlandishnerd @particularsof @chrizzy95 @sunshinesofty @bitch-imma-head-out @lettingtherosegrow @shawnshoooodies @nedthegay @luvluvxx @adonishawn @justanotherfangurl272 @h-oneyholland @baefrombombay @whotfiskate @loveydoveyshawn @hehemendes @greedydevil @minkvrp @peacedolantwins2 @shawnsvlogsquad @666mendes @valedictorian65 @vinylmendes @tastebaldwin

Lemme know if you want to be added/removed from the s.m. permanent taglist loves! <3

233 notes · View notes

kyovtani · 3 years

Text

ASKS

hey babies! i’ve decided to answer the asks about back to life one and two like this because ive received so so so many and you guys blew me away so answering every single one of them is the least i can do to show you guys just how grateful i am. thank you so much for giving both parts SO much love, i love and appreciate you guys and the support you’re constantly sending my way with my whole entire heart <33

BYE THE FIC IS SO GOOD SO FAR. MY ANXIETY THO FROM THE ENDING, LIKE PLS KYO REALIZE THE MCS ANXIETY PLS DONT GO OUT WITH SORA PLEASE PLEASE HE SEEN HOW SHE DIDNT LOOK OKAY WHEN HE CAME IN PLEASE REALIZE HER ANXIETY PLEASE

– THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !! this was the very first ask about back to life and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever! I hc Kyoutani to be rally understanding of things like anxiety and depression, generally mental health so that’s why it was easy for him to understand the reader’s situation and mindset!

BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!!! i was really excited when you started posting about it!! i can't wait for part 2, i wanna know how they fix this!

AAAH !! thank you so much for the love and support baby!!!! I really hope you enjoyed part 2 just as much, sending you lots of smooches MWAH

OH MY GOD THE KYO FIC IS AMAZING

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!!!

OH MY GOD YOUR KYOUTANI FIC HAS ME ACTUALLY FROTHING I LOVE IT SM

IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT MY JAW ACTUALLY DROPPED AT THE LAST COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AS WELL I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2

AAAH YOU GUYS !!! this made me so happy !!! thank you so much and I hope part two met your expectations and you enjoyed the ending MWAH!!

HOLY FUCK THAT KYOUTANI FIC WHEW IT WAS SO SO GOOD IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 2

thank you for the food <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BABY !!!

YOUR KYOTANI FIC AHHHHHHH my heart can’t handle this

I AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT BABY !!!

OW THE END ON BACK TO LIFE HURTED THOUGH GDFGHJDFHJRY

Was overwhelmed by the hurty that I forgot to say how much I ADORE your characterization of Kyoutani. fdjkhgjkgdr

THANK YOU SO MUCH !! honestly- that means the world to me, probably the best compliment you can give me :((

Back to life was so good OMG 😳😳 HELLO??? You're amazing

Thank you so much, my love! it honestly is everything to me when you guys tell me such sweet things I love you so much MWAH!!

the new fic did not help me with my insecurities now i’m just frustrated and insecure. great writing tho.

honestly- same. when I wrote this, I lit indulgent every bit of my mind working into this fic and thats why it means so much to me ?? so youre not alone, my love; but thank you so much <33

The way I panicked at the end of the fic thinking there wasn’t gonna be more to it, holy shi that fox was so good I almost cried thinking they were just gonna end things like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I’d NEVER end a fic like that- I hate bad endings and cannot stand cliffhangers but the formatting didn't give me another choice im sorry for the heart attack baby kfhflashsj but am glad you liked it!

@au-roraaa said: ZADE I WAS NEVER A KYO FUCKER BUT I THINK YOUVE CONVERTED ME HOLY FUCKSJFJSJDJSN

THIS IS MY JOB AT THIS POINT I WANT YOU ALL TO TURN INTO KYOU FUCKERS KSSSOH

UR THE BEST WRITER WTF?? WHEN DO U THINK PART TWO WOULD BE UP... and does kyoutani flirt with sora 😣💔

YOU GUYS- NOOO- pls my heart made a loop :(( I love you so much :(( thank you baby and I think now you know what he does with sora MWAH

@kawakuto said: hi hi zade!🤩 (ajdjs idk if you remember me but i moved main blogs and I was @/gukooky before LOL) THE KYOUTANI FIC ANDJWNS I DIDNT EXPECT THE END WAHHHH🥺🥺 it was so well written omg I loved it!! (wtf kyoutani, you said we were going slow what if I wasn’t ready to call u my boyfriend wtffff😔😔 pain.)

AAAAH OFC I DO REMMEBER !! hope youre doing well baby !!! and thank you SO much for your sweet words, I honestly appreciate them so much :((<33

pls I’m in love with your writing. You write kyoutani so well so now I’ll always be grabbing at any crumbs you send my way 🥵

thank you so so so much baby!!!! these kinda words always hit me right at the heart, I appreciate them so much and I love you sm much

bb i love ur kyoutani fic sm :(( ur rlly so talented <33 i look forward to pt 2 ^3^

thank you so much baby, sending a smooch your way mwah

zade that kyoutani piece im in so much pain why would u do this to me 💔💔💔💔

believe me when I say It hurt me even more than you </3

I just finished reading part 2 and it waS SO GOODAJSFHJLFG you did amazing!! (n˘v˘•)¬

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!

Hi! New nonnie coming through :) First time I'm writing something because I'm such a nervous wreck but I just had to

THE FIC WAS SO GOOD THE VIBES ARE CHEFS KISS. IT WAS SO GOOD I LITERALLY DROOLED I CAN NOT GET OVER IT !

Mister kyotani pls rail me thanks 🐱

THANK YOU AAAH YOURE SO CUTE !!! I truly appreciate this with my whole entire heart so thank you so much baby, hope you have a good one mwah

Wait did he do anything with Sora?

nope!! they just went to the party together but in my mind he didn’t even hug her and she didn’t try anything else, too, simply bc she knew how in love he is with reader!!

YOUR MINDDDDD!! THE KYOU FIC WAS SOOOO GOOOD!! Omg i hope you do a part 3 😭😭

i have a Little sequel which is really really soft but I'd love to write some more for it!

@soranihimawari said: Part 1 & 2 with kyoutani was amazing as always Zade! I really liked the ending. This was such a fun read. I was wondering who’s else would be sharing the apartment with Kyoutani. What made you choose tattoo artist Iwa & Oikawa? Those two made me chuckle with the way they came in like that. Hope you have a great day/evening/late night/etc.

✌🏼&💜

—sora—

aaah thank you so so much, baby!! I truly appreciate your sweet words, youre the cutest! regarding your question: You shares an apartment with Iwa, Oikawa and Yahaba (who also works at the tattoo studio!) and i don't know to be really honest- I just like the thought of these three being really good friends so after contemplating whether or not to go with iwaoi or matsuhana, I ended up going with those two dorks! hope you have a good one baby mwah!!

@sakusapetals said: PLEASEE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH

AAAH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !!! I LOVE YOU SM

How long did it take you to write the entire two parts? Like wow that’s alot👁👄👁 i adore long fics though

oooh- hm ?? tbh i don't really know ?? I can’t remember ?? I think it took me about a month or like three weeks since I did write it all in one go yk? it was the only WIP I worked on during that time and it felt SO relieving to publish it!

AAAHHH the kyou fic was a masterpiece bb!!! ❤️❤️

thank you so so so much baby!!<33

U LITERLALT WRIYE KYOU THE BEST ABSOLUTE BEST. he’s so aggressive and demanding but he still is willing to show someone special his vulnerability. I LOVE READING STUFF ABOUT HIM FROM U

AAAAH thank you so much- you guys have no idea how much these kinda comments mean to me- I love you so MUCH MWAH

I just read the first part of "back to life" an it had me speechless so many times, almost cried at the end, it's honestly so well written. I'm off to read part two. Have a nice day 🐰

sdoalfsla thank you so much baby! I hope you enjoyed both parts equally as much and thank you for all the love mwah!!<3

Hana is a baddie

SHE IS!! she’s literally the baddest bitch to ever exist ft. saeko ofc but nobody acknowledges it </3

@tonhwa said: I’m in love with the way you write kyoutani pls. Even your previous fics on your old account ( if you don’t mind me mentioning it ) are so fucking amazing. GOSH YOU CHARACTERIZE HIM SO WELL AND THE PLOT IS ALWAYS SO JUICY AND INTERESTING I CANT HELP BUT GO BACK AND READ IT. and then you release this fucking wonderful piece and I feel like it’s my birthday even though it’s already passed LOL ty ily have a wonderful day I’m sobbing tears of happiness

YOU GUYS PLEASE- the fact this made me tear up when I first read it- thank you SO much honestly. knowing you guys enjoy my characterization of my favorite character is honestly everything to me so thank you sm I love you baby have a good one!!<3

I’ve been on this app from high school, and now I’m a college grad. I have to say I’ve never sent a message to anyone I’ve followed. But that tattoo artist! Kyou fic, part 1 and 2 are 😩💕 *chefs kiss* you are one of my favorite writers I’ve ever followed since joining this app. You NEVER disappoint!

-💕 a very satisfied reader

thank you so much baby!! aaah this is honestly so so sweet :(( thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a sweet thing, I appreciate it and you so much mwah!!

i gotta say babe THANK YOU FOR THE KYOTANI CONTENT!! muAAAAHH💞💞

NOO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE MWAH!!!

i love kyoutani and he obvs deserves his dick sucked 🤧🤧 but i catch him posting up with other girls I DONT CARE THE SITUATION he gonna catch these hands for a real one 👊🏼👆🏼🤜🏼🥊🥊 kidding 😐😐😐 he’d body me

pls the way this had me chuckling like crazy bc same sajlskjpw he can get mad all he want but he better stay his pretty ass where he is- by my side 😌

#💌.zade's mass response

6 notes · View notes

kerwritesthings · 4 years

Text

Dance Your Way Into My Heart

Summary: It’s more than just that feeling of love, it’s the actions, and the talk of forever

Word Count: just a little over 2.6k

Warnings: more soft, squishy, lovely words with a side of wedding fluff

Author Notes: So, this is my 10th ‘full-length’ one shot in this verse which boggles my mind since it’s ONLY been about a month (a day or two off actually – I first posted late the night of Jan 18!) since I started writing around this fool heart. I think he, and this place, the people and the creativity, really came to me when I’ve needed it the most. Sooo, now that the emotional nonsense has been blithered out. Here’s a little something for that…

Funny enough that this all hit me the Wednesday/Thursday before any of Josiah’s wedding stuff hit. Another pretty photo reblog from @rainbowshawn that set me on a spiral of ohhh shit I can see him singing at a super casual wedding like this and then the next thing you know I’ve busted out 500ish words on my Notes app on my phone while at a bar waiting for my friend before seeing Moulin Rouge on Broadway that night, total aside THE SHOW IS AMAZING – listen to the OBC album cause it’s bomb, however I digress.

As always, these can be read as stand-alone one shots, but they all fall under the umbrella of this verse of mine. Reading the previous would provide some context. Masterlist can be found here!

As soon as she asks, Shawn immediately said yes. He's such a sucker for love and weddings and basically anything to make you happy. So, when your best friend asks you if you’d think he would be willing to sing at her wedding, you mention she would need to talk to him and ask. So, she flies up for a weekend under the onus of coming to hang out with you. However, she takes him to lunch one afternoon just the two of them, his favorite place downtown, nervous and anxious. However, you understood it was a shoe in. It was sweet though she wants to go the extra mile with him.

“You knew?” he asks, flopping down on the couch next to you, head immediately falling in your lap as soon as he gets back home.

“Mmhmm,” you mutter, hands automatically winding through his hair. “Told her she needed to talk to you though. Maid of honor duties only go so far you know. What did you say?”

“Yes, duh. Of course, yes,” he replies, eyes fluttering shut as he relaxes into your touch. “Didi is your best friend, she’s the closest thing you have to a sister. Of course, I’m going to sing for her for her wedding. Plus, it’s going to be so super chill and laid back. I told her to give me a few things she and Tomas like and I’ll work around with that. I also told her I want first dance duty. No wedding band or DJ should have your bestie’s special moment.”

“You’re something else and I love you. Thank you, sweetheart. It means a lot to her. And even more to me,” you whisper, leaning down to dust a kiss to his forehead, another to his nose before reaching his lips.

Didi can’t stop raving, gushing and thanking you and him. The key smash texts are adorable and you both appreciate the lovely case of rosé champagne she sends over. Tomas, separately, takes him for a boys night at Maple Leafs game next time he’s in town as a personal show of thanks for helping his future wife. Shawn takes his role seriously, copious notes and hours locked away in his studio practicing or grumbling some days. It’s heartwarming to see how much care he took in this. “At some point, she’s practically going to be my sister-in-law, so yeah,” he blushes, after explaining the latest iteration of songs he’s going through. “Plus, it’s her wedding day. Needs to be epic and as perfect as possible. I’m going to make sure it’s that.”

He says it so nonchalant, so matter of fact, and without hesitation: At some point, she’s practically going to be my sister-in-law. It hits you square in the gut. You both know how deep your feelings run for each other, and you’ve had a few abstract talks, a few serious ones too, along with a more pointed talk specifically about the future. But you’ve never heard him speak of it with such assured conviction. Like it’s happening soon. You just look at him, jaw slightly dropped and eyes wide.

“You’re gonna catch flies like that my dear,” he smirks, tapping his pointer finger up under your chin to close your mouth. Before you can reply, he leans in to kiss you sweetly, slowly and thoroughly.

“You know you’re my forever,” he sighs against your lips, just a hair away from yours. He presses a soft, quick peck to both corners of your mouth before one squarely against you. “I’ve thought about it a lot more lately. Since Santa Barbara and our breakfast by the pool, really. Of us doing this ourselves and what our wedding would be. I know the new album and the tour, and all that shit is a thing happening, but I also know you mean everything so…”

You don’t know what to say, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. You just look at him, hand coming up to cup his cheek.

“This is not going there now, because this would be a lame as fuck as a story to tell on how I proposed to you, but just know. I’m thinking about it. Really and truly,” he reveals through a bright smile. “I love you, so, so much baby.”

You can’t help but shift your arms around him, face nuzzling into the side of his neck. This boy of yours. He’s something extraordinary.

At the rehearsal dinner, you spy him and Didi in deep conversation before you’re all due to sit down for dessert.

“He won’t tell me what they decided on, Didi either,” you explain to Didi’s sister Renee, as you head towards your table. “They’re being sneaky little shits, but you know Dee.”

Renee laughs, “Are you really surprised? After you’ve been friends for this long? It’s sweet of your man to be willing to do all this for them. I’ve already warned all cousins and the brothers’ idiot dates they are not to fawn over him, that he’s beyond happily taken by the maid of honor, and that if I see cell phones obnoxiously in the way at any point this weekend, I’m breaking them in some way.”

You hear his laugh before you feel his arm wrap about your waist. “This is why Renee is the best. She won’t take anyone’s shit. Even from her own family. Thanks girl. Appreciate you having my back,” he smiles, fist bumping Renee. “I owe you one.”

“Holding you to that, Mendes,” she grins widely. “Just make sure this one doesn’t lose her shit this weekend taking care of my sister. But I will gladly use that marker, especially next time your hot friends are around. Speaking of, I should go check on my parents, make sure my brothers haven’t done anything stupid.”

“Is Didi driving you batty?” he asks, guiding you into your chair. “She seems okay tonight.”

“Crowd around, her parents, Tomas’ family, she’s holding her own but there was some stupid family shit earlier,” you exhale, grabbing a hold of his hand to lace through yours, before tipping your head against his shoulder. “It’s nothing that I didn’t expect to deal with this weekend. She’s nervous, worried, second and fifth guessing things. I get it, this is a lot. She just wants to be married already.”

Shawn dusts a kiss to your temple, “You’re such a good friend. You’re lucky to have each other. Tomorrow’s going to be great. Worse case, steal my flask and get her a little saucy before she walks down the aisle.”

You elbow him with a giggle, “You would suggest that, but you may be onto something. Thank you though.”

The next morning is a whirlwind of champagne, bobby pins and lip gloss with a soundtrack full of laughter and a lot of fighting back tears. You also may have sung along to your boyfriend’s last album, dancing around like you would do in her room when you were kids to your favorite songs. Didi’s suite is a buzz with her sister holding down the fort, cousins popping in and out, along with her mother and her future mother-in-law. At one point, after the glam team is gone, you finally have a moment alone with your best friend while her mom and sister go to grab her dress.

“I am so happy you’re deliriously happy,” you whisper, hugging Didi tightly before more folks come in. “You two are good together and I’m glad you found him.”

Didi sniffs, “Thank you, I know I’ve been insane, and you’ve been a saint. Your boyfriend too. Shawn has put up with me changing my mind on stuff like 17 times and he’s just rolled with it. You’re a lucky one too. He’s so fucking over the moon for you girly. Soon roles will be reversed, and you’ll be able to pay me back with your own crazy.”

You both scurry about to get into your dresses. With the wedding taking place at the botanical gardens, Didi decided she didn’t want fussy for anything around the ceremony. Her dress is a stunning V-neck sheath of flowy creamy, buttery chiffon, tiny flowers woven through her hair in place of a veil. Tomas’ grandmother’s necklace, a vintage diamond and pearl strand, lays just at her collarbones. You try not to cry but think back of the two little five-year-old girls who would play wedding in your grandparents’ back yard. “Oh Dee,” you sniff. “Tomas isn’t going to know what hit him.”

She smiles, her eyes just as wet, and reaches for your hands. “I couldn’t be up there without you, bestie.” You hear the flicker of a camera, knowing the photographer is back catching your moment and you’re grateful. “Your boy either. I know you hemmed and hawed about black for a wedding, but this dress is great.”

You’re the only one standing up with her, she didn’t want anyone up there with her other than you. Renee understood and was happy she didn’t have to wrangle a groomsman. She picked a black maxi, swirled with larger flowers in shades of pink and white. Your hair was up, a flower like the ones in your dress tucked in the mass of curls her stylist pinned about. Your bouquet is in a similar palate, while Didi’s has some purple, her favorite color, woven through.

“Let’s go get you married,” you say handing off her bouquet and tucking her arm under yours.

“Hey pretty girl, funny seeing you here,” he quips, his lips dusting against your bare shoulder, before tracing a finger across your back. You’re all outside the courtyard waiting to enter for the start of the ceremony. You turn to face him. He’s a vision, because of course he is when isn’t he, in black floral-patterned button down, similar to your dress, along with dark pants. What’s more interesting is that his beloved acoustic strung across his chest.

“I may have told Didi I would play all her walk-in music too,” he nods bashfully. “I wasn’t going to let them use Apple Music or Spotify or even worse some awful wedding singer.”

“You are something else, Shawn,” you reply, squeezing his hand tightly. “Really want to kiss you but I can’t mess up the gloss.”

He places a whisper of a kiss on your forehead, “Love you. I need to go get into place. Atmosphere music. Think I may sneak in one of my own in there before the processional stuff.”

You laugh, pushing him towards the archway of greenery, “Go be wonderful.”

He’s set up at the back of the courtyard, seats all set in front of him. He’s weaving melodies, no singing, just soft rhythms from his guitar. The space is perfect, green and lush and smelling lovely, a swath of flowers at the end of the path where Tomas waits. You make your way down and turn to watch for your best friend. However, before she arrives you take a moment to appreciate Shawn. He catches your eye, smiles and winks, mouthing love you before he sees the wedding coordinator waiving over at him.

He starts in on “Marry Me” when Didi arrives at the back of the aisle with her Dad. Your breath catches in your throat, the combination of seeing your best friend and hearing your boyfriend hits you hard. She starts making her way down when he begins on the chorus. You see Tomas out of the corner of your eye, and he’s got a hand over his mouth, eyes brimming over with tears. The ceremony is the perfect balance of exactly what Didi and Tomas are. Their vows are intrinsically them. They look every way that a couple getting married should. Glowing, in love and only eyes for each other. It’s hard not to let a tear or two out.

The reception is in the atrium of the gardens, under a massive domed stained-glass skylight, still lush with flowers and greens. Everything has been exactly as Didi has hoped. Meanwhile, your boyfriend is mysteriously missing. You’re sipping champagne with Renee and her boyfriend of the moment, while looking about for him.

“Last I saw him he was setting his guitar up before the rest of the musicians came in, don’t worry,” Renee starts, clinking glasses with you. “He’ll be back.”

He makes his way back into the atrium, and surprisingly he’s changed, a little dressier now in deliciously fitting black suit pants and a white button down, the glint of his silver chain obvious even from where you are. You excuse yourself from the group and steal Shawn away before he needs to soundcheck for their dance. You just want to have a moment with him before everything gets crazy, heading out to the patio just off the atrium, which is blissfully quiet. You wrap your arms around his waist and just hold him.

“You okay baby?” he asks, as he starts to sway with you, shifting your arms around his neck so he can pull you closer.

You nod, smiling, “I just needed you for a minute without all that is all.”

“You can have all the minutes you ever want or need,” he says, kissing you lightly.

“Sorry to break this up, please believe me I am, but my sister has decided she wants to get a move on,” Renee calls from the doorway.

“Duty calls for both of us,” you murmur, leaning up to kiss him once more. “Save me a dance or two?”

“All the slow ones at least,” he agrees, rubbing his nose against yours. “I’ll see you out there.”

Didi didn’t want a whole production with entrances, she wanted a few bars of song then for her and Tomas to start dancing straightaway. So, poised at the edge of what they have set up as the dance floor, with a good angle to see them once they walk in, as well as your boyfriend, you wait. Shawn starts playing, something floaty that that doesn’t sound familiar to you. The pair make their way in and as soon as they hit the center of the floor, he begins.

“Not talkin' 'bout a year, no not three or four. I don't want that kind of forever in my life anymore,” he sings gently. “Forever always seems to be around when it begins, but forever never seems to be around when it ends. So, give me your forever, please your forever. Not a day less will do, from you.”

The song is beautiful, he sounds amazing, Didi and Tomas as just love personified as they dance. He fades out slowly at the end, a light strum to close out.

“Thank you for letting me be such a special part of your day. That was Ben Harper’s Forever. Didi, Tomas, congratulations and love to you both,” he expresses, blowing a kiss to the two of them with his hands, you can see his emotions clear across his face. He heads back, as the band starts up, packing away his guitar before making his way over to you, now at your table.

“Wow,” you sigh, hand coming to the nape of his neck to sink into his curls. “That was something else, my dear. Didi fucking owes you.”

He blushes, ducking his head bashfully. “I’m just happy I could give them that moment. First dances are something really special. They deserved to have the best moment possible. Plus, that’s an awesome first dance song, not the usual. Makes it even better.”

“My hopeless romantic,” you muse, tracing haphazard patterns over the top of his hand that rests on your knee.

“Just you wait,” he smiles, kissing you. “Now, I’m on good authority the next song is a slow one, so may I have this dance?”

He stands, holding his hand out for you.

“You can have every single one, all of them from now on.”

TAG LIST: @whenidance, @parkerdavis, @sinplisticshawn, @hollandraul, @fallinallincurls, @itrocksmysocks, @rainbowshawn, @lasingphomustra, @illumecherry

*Always feel free to ask to be added to the tag list!

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes story

152 notes · View notes