#this is pretty rough so i just want to reiterate that haha | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinkandblueblurbs · 3 years

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Hi ma chérie I hope you are well!! I just wanted to say I love your writing !! I was wondering if you wanted to could you write a Remus x reader x Sirius where Remus is like in control and telling Sirius what to do and refusing to touch you until he decides you deserve it haha idk but yeah just an idea and I know you wrote possessive Remus earlier already so if you don’t want to totally understand! ❤️

this. is. fantastic. i love this request so much, thank you lovely, I hope you enjoy! And I really hope you don’t dislike daddy kinks,,,, bc i made the reader call Remus daddy just to accentuate that he’s the one in charge, not you and not even really Sirius. Also made a bit of tension/rivalry between you and Sirius, based off ideas the 🦩 anon describes on @randomoutsiders ‘s page! Hope you like it xx (also u calling me ma chérie made me 🥰 ily bby)

a/n: this ended up l o n g and i’m not sure that I really like it,,,,, but oh well. I apologize for any typos, I really dont feel like proofreading this rn

Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader x Sirius Black. Daddy kink, dom/sub, degradation (Sirius calls you sl*t, as always), face slapping (brief, a single slap), throat fucking, fingering, orgasm denial

Sirius’s tongue enthusiastically explores your mouth as you stand in the middle of the dormitory. The soft click of a lock indicates Remus’s location by the door as you begin to lose yourself in the taste and sensation of Sirius’s mouth.

“Get her undressed, Pads” Remus’s voice orders softly. Sirius pulls away from you then, prompting you to turn towards the commanding voice that had just spoken. A whine leaves your throat as you see Remus leaning casually against the wall, feet away from you, clearly not intending to touch you any time soon.

“Daddy” your voice is plaintive as Sirius’s nimble fingers move over the buttons of your uniform, working the shirt off your body.

All Remus offers in response to your unspoken plea for his attention is a murmured. “S’alright poppet. Be a good girl for Sirius.”

“Yeah, pup, be good for me” Sirius reiterates, giving you a cocky grin. You scowl at him as he pops open the clasp of your bra, pulling the straps down your shoulders. Then he’s on to your skirt and panties, pulling them down your legs, and you step out of both garments obediently.

“On your knees.” Sirius orders gruffly once he’s standing back at his full height, your clothes tossed to the side, forgetten. You turn to Remus for confirmation, resistant to obeying Sirius’s command.

“Do as he says. On your knees.” The freckled man encourages with a raised brow, daring you to challenge him. You quickly drop to your knees at Remus’s command, looking up at Sirius innocently through your lashes. He seems caught up in your gaze, making no moves to progress further.

“Get your cock out, Pads, we don’t have all day.” Remus’s teasing voice pipes up after a beat of silence. You give Sirius a mocking grin at the fact that he was reprimanded by Remus, which only grows as he rushes to comply with the man’s order, hands fumbling with the fly of his pants.

“Gonna wipe that fucking grin right off your face, pup” Sirius growls down at you, freeing his half-hard cock. He looks ready to thrust forward, to fully sheath his cock inside your throat in one rough motion, but a firm order from Remus stops him dead in his tracks.

“Slow for now, Sirius. Wanna watch her pretty mouth on ya.” Sirius nearly argues at that, turning to the freckled man indignantly, but any words of dispute die on his tongue as he meets Remus’s hard stare. With a roll of his eyes Sirius looks down at you once more, swinging his cock before your face with his grip on its base.

“You heard the man, pup. Use that pretty mouth on me.” Sirius encourages, the grumbled nature of his words betraying his disappointment at not being allowed to fuck your throat just yet. Regardless, he coaxes you forward gently with a hand in the back of your hair. You lean forward just enough to ghost your tongue over the head of his cock, littering the sensitive skin with teasing kitten licks. Sirius growls.

“Don’t be a fucking tease-“

“S’alright, pads, let her suck you off how she wants.” Remus’s voice cuts off Sirius’s irritated protest. Your eyes flit to your left to see the aforementioned man, still leaning against the wall, watching your actions intently with a prominent tent in his trousers. He’s clearly enjoying the show. When your eyes meet Sirius’s once more, you give him a triumphant smirk.

“Yeah, Sirius, let me suck you off how-“ your cocky repetition of Remus’s words is cut off by a gasp as Sirius lands a blow on your cheek. Your head snaps to the side only slightly with the impact, thanks to the hand still tangled in your hair, but a stinging pain blossoms on your warm skin. Arousal also pulses through your cunt, but that doesn’t stop you from looking up at Sirius indignantly.

“Daddy!” You turn to your left, meeting Remus’s gaze “he hit me!” You say the words with such offense you’d think such a thing doesn’t happen on the regular (which, in reality, it does). To drive your point home, you bring a hand up to rub at the still tingling site of impact.

“Cause you were bein’ a fuckin brat” Sirius growls out from above you, giving your hair a rough tug. Your gaze snaps back to him, mouth open and ready to make a snarky retort, but you’re cut off.

“Enough. Y/n, what did I say? Be a good girl for Sirius. He’s in charge, understand?” You resist the urge to scoff at Remus’s words, because clearly someone’s in charge and it is decidedly not Sirius. Remus must catch your incredulous expression, because he adds “He’s in charge of you. Now do what he says, and make him feel good, cause I’m not touching you until you’ve earned it. Is that clear?”

“But daddy-“

“Is. That. Clear?” Remus’s tone is low and dangerous, and his gaze is hard, warning you not to push him any farther or there will be consequences.

“Yes, daddy.” You murmur, lowering your hand from your cheek and facing forwards once again so you’re met with Sirius’s stiff length.

“Get back to it then, pup.” Sirius orders, and you can’t miss the smugness in his tone. You bite back any bratty comments in favor of leaning forward to lick a long, slow stripe up the underside of the man’s cock, from base to tip, before taking the head in your mouth and suckling gently.

“That’s more like it, slut.” The raven haired man murmurs, fingertips massaging your scalp. You bring a hand up to wrap around the base of his cock, but it’s quickly slapped away. “No hands, pretty girl. Just want your sweet mouth on me.” You barely manage to supress the urge to roll your eyes at Sirius’s command, but luckily, since it’s truly in your best interest, you do. Your hands find their position on your lap, clasped together in a show of obedient submission.

You work your mouth diligently over the head of his cock, suctioning lightly and swirling your tongue around it. Through your concentration, you faintly register Remus’s pleased hum.

“That’s a good girl, poppet. Look so pretty suckin’ cock.” Remus’s gentle voice pipes up. You moan at the praise and lower your head to take a bit more of Sirius’s length into your mouth. The coupling of both actions pulls a strained groan from Sirius’s throat, and you feel his hand tighten in your hair as he struggles to contain his desire to buck forward into your throat.

“Alright Pads. Go on, fuck her slutty little mouth.” Remus allows. You intend to make a quick glance in his direction, but the image of the man leaning against the wall, eyes wild as he watches you, hand palming his bulge through his trousers, has your gaze lingering. You’re attention is quickly brought back to the cock in your mouth, however, as it surges forwards, prodding at the back of your throat. Sirius holds your head down as you gag intensely around him. Tears spring to your eyes, then begin to roll down your cheeks as you blink desperately up at Sirius in a silent plea for relief.

Benevolently, Sirius pulls you back by your hair, allowing you to gasp in a shaky lung full of air. A pale, slender finger comes down to break the string of saliva that hangs connecting your lips to Sirius’s cock.

“Look at that. Such a good cocksucker.” Sirius praises, giving your cheek a tantilizing pat. Your earlier desire to disobey, rebel, and be all around bratty towards Sirius has all but disappeared now that you’ve had a taste of cock. Rather than offer some sassy retort you merely lean forward, mouth open slack, to replace his length inside it. Sirius chuckles.

“And so eager.” He muses, this time starting a shallow movement of thrusts that your relaxed throat can manage. Remus hums approvingly.

“That’s my good girl. I knew you could behave for Padfoot, bunny.” He murmurs, voicing said approval. You practically glow at the praise, continuing to concentrate on keeping your jaw slack for the cock driving past your lips. Sirius grunts softly, and his thrusts become slightly more erratic, leading Remus to speak up once again.

“Stop.” The freckled man orders. Sirius groans at that, and pulls your head down so you’re stilled with your nose against his pubic bone. You barely manage to supress a gag as his tip teases your reflex.

“Moons-“

“Don’t argue, Sirius, you’ll be back in her mouth soon. Just get her on the bed.” Remus interrupts, sounding stern.

With a soft sigh Sirius releases the pressure on your head, allowing you to pull back off his cock, sputtering and coughing slightly. Sirius watches you, expression pitying, and mutters a soft “dirty slut.” You’re given little time to recover as he promptly drags you to your feet by your hair, leading you over to his bed.

“Lay down, pup, head over the edge.” The words come out a bit of a rush, as Sirius is clearly eager to be balls deep inside your throat once again. You hesitate, suddenly charged with a renewed spark of bratty rebellion. However, before you get the chance to voice your dispute, Remus cuts in.

“Don’t be bad now, poppet. You’re so close to your reward.” That gives you pause. Your mouth quickly snaps shut, and you scramble to comply with Sirius’s command, driven by the promise of recompense. You lay down, backwards, so your head hangs off the foot of the bed, perfectly tilted to allow Sirius total access to your mouth and throat.

“Good slut. Open up for me, puppy, tongue out- that’s it.” You follow Sirius’s directions as he gives them to you, parting your lips and letting your tongue lull out from the confines of your mouth. He moves forward, giving a taunting tap with the head of his cock against the wet, outstretched muscle.

He’s quickly bucking forward, sheathing his length in your warm mouth once more, groaning at the sensation. He thrusts mercilessly, and that coupled with the harsh new angle has you choking with each rough movement.

“Fuck, just like that, puppy. Choke on my cock, that’s it.” Sirius grunts out, voice strained and gravelly. You grip tightly at the bedsheets, working hard to keep your mouth slack enough that the man can continue his invasion of your throat.

Finally he pulls back, giving you a brief moment’s pause to catch your breath, and when he does you notice Remus is now standing beside the bed, looking down at you appraisingly.

“Please, daddy” you choke out, voice weak thanks to Sirius’s rough treatment of your throat. Sirius’s hand is tangling in your hair then, tilting you upwards, coaxing your mouth back towards the cock that he’s angling downwards to feed into your lips. You keep your wide eyes fixed on Remus as you suckle at the tip obediently.

“What do you want, bunny?” He questions teasingly, meeting your pleading gaze with a raised brow. You let Sirius’s cock leave your lips with a soft pop.

“Touch me, please.” You beg unabashedly. Thus far you’d been doing a good job at ignoring the dull pulse of arousal between your legs, but it’s only grown more incessant as time went on. And now, with Remus standing above you, so close to giving you what you need, you can ignore it no longer.

“What do you think, Pads? Has she been a good girl?” Remus muses.

“I have, daddy” you whine before the raven haired man can answer.

“You’re not who I fuckin’ asked, poppet.” Remus admonishes, fixing you with a stern look.

“Was gonna say yes before she went and whined about it.” Sirius says, a taunting lilt dancing in his tone. You pout at that, brows furrowing upwards in a look of desperation.

“I’m sorry. Please, I need it, I tried so hard to be good.” You plea, hopeful eyes flitting between the two men as they pause, seemingly pondering their decision.

“I suppose you were a good little cocksucker, weren’t you?” Sirius muses, running his thumbs over your tear stained cheeks. You nod quickly, skin tingling with anticipation as the prospect of Remus’s touch grows ever nearer.

“Alright. She deserves it, Moony.” Sirius concedes. Before you have time to thank him his hand is cradling the back of your head, coaxing you upwards to take the head of his cock into your mouth once more. As you suckle at the mushroom tip, Remus’s hands finally find your skin, rubbing over the flesh of your breasts and trailing down to caress your abdomen. You moan lewdly around the cock in your mouth. Sirius groans.

“Fuck, Moons, ‘s even better with you touchin’ her. I love all the pretty sounds she makes.” Sirius grits out, pushing forward ever so slightly so you’re forced to take him halfway in your mouth.

“There’ll be plenty more where that came from.” Remus assures, moving onto the bed below you. He positions himself between your legs, large hands meeting your thighs to guide them apart, granting him access to your glistening folds.

“She nice and wet down there, Moons?” Sirius inquires, now thrusting shallowly into your mouth. Remus makes a confirming hum.

“Absolutely soaked. Surprised she didn’t make more of a fuss with how turned on she is.” Remus says, voice teasing. You jump as a finger swipes through your wet folds before releasing another moan. Sirius uses the oportune opening of your throat to push forward, making you gag.

“Alright Pads, fuck her good now. Bunny, don’t even think about cumming before Sirius.” Remus growls out. He pushes two fingers into you at the same time Sirius picks up the pace of his thrusts. Your eyes roll back at the assault of sensation from both ends, and you writhe beneath the two men.

Remus’s free hand comes up to hold down your squirming hips firmly, surely bruising your supple flesh. He drives his fingers in and out of your cunt steadily, caressing your g-spot with a practiced ease.

“That feel good, puppy? You like Remus’s fingers in your slutty little pussy?” Sirius taunts from above you, hips snapping forwards without pause. You nod as best you can, letting out a moan of assent. He curses. “That’s right, fuck, such a dirty little puppy.”

You’re cresting too soon, you realize, your body already on it’s upwards climb towards its peak. You clench around Remus’s fingers, and the man quickly picks up on this.

“Don’t you dare, bunny, you better fucking hold it.” He growls out, not halting his movements. “Be a good girl.”

You moan desperately, knuckles turning white with their tight grip in the bedsheets at your sides. You feel the coil inside you growing impossibly tight, and you know you need Sirius to cum soon if you’re to have any chance.

To aid in your attempt to obey Remus’s command, you bring a hand up, reaching above your head to cup Sirius’s balls in your palm. He groans as you gently fondle and squeeze them in your fingers.

“Fuck, puppy, just like that. Gonna cum down that pretty fuckin’ throat.” Sirius grits out. His hips are stuttering, and his sack is tightening in your hold. Soon he’s pulling back, leaving your empty mouth sputtering and coughing as he jerks himself above your face.

Just in time, the first rope of thick cum shoots from his cock, landing on your cheek. Remus quickly crooks his fingers and circles your clit with his thumb, leading you to follow Sirius in his release. A pornographic moan is torn from your used throat as your orgasm crashes over you, hips bucking wildly against Remus’s tight hold. At the same time, Sirius continues to paint your face with his spend, the fluid warm as it hits your skin and lips.

You tremble as your high slowly fades and Remus pulls his fingers from your still fluttering walls, hand moving to rub soothingly over your thighs.

“Good girl, poppet.” The freckled man praises gently. Above you, Sirius is panting, looking down at your cum covered face adoringly.

“And you were a good boy, Pads.” Remus adds in a teasing nature. You let out a weak laugh, looking up at Sirius, eyes sparkling with amusement.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

taglist:@thestunningspell @sweetlyblushedbouquet @snapesdaughsjm @kyleed24 @woman-with-no-name @pxroxide-prinxcesss @randomoutsiders

#sirius black #remus lupin #sirius black x remus lupin #remus lupin x sirius black x reader #sirius black x reader #remus lupin x reader #wolfstar #wolfstar x reader #marauders #marauders x reader

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 2 years

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this is so very weird and dumb, but genuinely i feel nate is one of those people who knows fucked up things have happened to him, but not how fucked up they are, and in combination with being terrible at expressing his feelings, so he’d be like eating chilli with the humphrey’s and just throw out “yeah, originally my dad came back to kidnap my mom and i and to hold us for ransom, but i eventually talked him down. it was kinda rough” and then just keep eating while everyone drops their spoon. oop

not weird or dumb! my inbox is open for us to talk about nate always, i promise you don't have to feel bad about sending anything in!

also, agreed BIG TIME. you're not even the first person to have this conversation - i remember liz and i were talking about this a few months ago in the context of this one tiktok...i can't find it off hand, but maybe you've seen it? it's basically this person talking about how "some boys don't realise how tragic their experiences are and will relay the most traumatic anecdotes cheerfully and im just sitting there like dude that's fucked up you're allowed to be upset about it" or something along those lines. and we were both like "omg that's nate."

it's a combination of so many things - childhood trauma/being in an unsafe environment all his life, all his friends going through traumatic things too which leads to him feeling like yes this happens to everyone + what happened to me isn't as bad as what happened to blair / serena, just nate as a person also, i think? wait lemme explain that - nate seems to be the kind of person who wants to keep moving forward. he doesn't hold grudges, he doesn't want to dwell on the past - perhaps this is a headcanon, but just like... the number of times he forgives jenny without us seeing them talk through things? (i love jenny but canonically she was pretty terrible to nate.)

anyway yes, i agree with you! and you're not the first person to bring this up, so we're all definitely picking up the same vibes. and i reiterate, don't feel bad about dropping stuff in my inbox! i like hearing from people, and i love talking about nate, haha.

#anon #nate archibald #meta

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mikaze-discord · 3 years

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HEAVENS: Love letters

Soooo this is the last of the love letter, I really must reiterate how thankful I am to the people who responded to my message. Specially thankful for the people who ended up writing for one of the boys, all of the love letter writers are so cool. If you wanted to write your own love letter for your oshi then feel free too!! Utapri Tumblr is kinda dead.... but! I hope you enjoyed the love letters

Please enjoy under cut!!!!!!!!!!!!

EIJI OTORI

From Anon:

Eiji Otori is another member of HEAVENS and he is a down-to-earth type of character. One can say he is a cinnamon roll as he looks out for HEAVENS and his brother, Eiichi. Eiji talks in a formal manner to people outside of HEAVENS and addresses them by their surname like the time he worked with Tokiya for Mighty Aura, or when he was working with Camus and Masato for Feather in Hand. Around HEAVENS, Eiji talks casually, calling them by their first name. He is very mindful of other members of HEAVENS and Eiji keeps an open mind for ways to improve his skills as an idol and to help out his bandmates come to a solution where both sides agree. Eiji speaks very fondly of the people he works with formality and a lot of respect.

What I love about Eiji is his relationship with his brother, Eiichi Otori. The two have a strong bond as Eiichi looked after and took care of Eiji when growing up. The two of them are inseparable and do a lot together while looking after each other. Personally, their sibling bond is what I wish to have with my sibling as well, even though we're complete opposites like day and night! Their interactions are easily seen throughout the anime, you can even see their sibling bond show the most through HEAVENS Radio as Eiichi and Eiji are the co-hosts. If there is anything that I'd like to know more about Eiji, it would be about his hobby, gardening. He has a lot of knowledge on plants and perhaps agriculture. It'd be nice to see HEAVENS talk about their hobbies one day. But all in all, Eiji is a great character that I appreciate with a heart of gold!

From Anon:

Eiji Otori, the 4th member of HEAVENS is one of my two most favorite characters in Utapri. I was originally drawn to his kind and gentle demeanor, that made him such an easily lovable character. He was introduced in the 4th season of the anime in the cross idol unit episodes. The way he treated Tokiya besides knowing he was part of the rival idol group ended up becoming an essential part of Tokiya’s later character growth. Although Eiji is meant to be a foil for Tokiya’s character their personalities are completely polar opposites, their devotion to wanting to be an idol being one of the only similarities besides level headedness. Eiji is his own character, right down the way he speaks to the way he sings. Eiji seems to always carry the group in a loving and family-like way, even going as far as having domestic hobbies like gardening and baking. We always see him and even hear the way he interacts with the other members of HEAVENS on the radio show as if they were an inseparable family. Eiichi, his older brother and the leader of HEAVENS loves him in a way that is so complex but Eiji will always love him back with every fiber of his being to the deepest parts of his soul. There is a deep connection between the brothers that is so beautiful that even poetry couldn’t express, it’s more profound then words can show. It’s a bond they share that only they know, like a secret.

However, even then there is so much more about Eiji that makes him such a wonderful character. When it comes to myself, Eiji hits a bit close to home in a more personal way. Perhaps that is also a factor in why I love him so much. I empathize with him and I can see through his eyes in ways only a younger sibling would know. As a younger sister to a sibling who has always been in the spotlight in some form of way with a big presence, I always lived in her shadow, but I admired her and cared about her above anything else. The way Eiji feels about Eiichi is something that I can personally relate with and understand. Eiichi is an essential part of Eiji’s character and the anime does not lack to show this, nor does it lack to show that Eiji is just as much an essential part of Eiichi’s character. It’s more obvious in the radio show that is hosted by the two brother but it’s not fully ignored either in the anime. I love how Eiji interacts with all of the characters, and seems to find ways to treat everyone with kindness even if they aren’t kind to him in return. He admires those who show a deep love for the things he does, and respects those who are more experienced then he is. He’s always eager to learn

and please. He’s the kind of person you’d always want around and you’d want a hug when things get rough. Eiji is definitely the most pure hearted character of all the Utapri characters. And, I’ll always stand by that through and through.

VAN KIRYUIN

From @whereisvanderwood:

Kiryuin Van. Where to start? He’s cocky. He’s cocky as all hell. There’s something in his air that is poised yet undignified. Childish yet mature. The man is founded on juxtaposition, not dissimilar to a painting of Picasso. His ability to be unique in an industry that begs for individuality, to rise above a tidal wave of competition and stand apart from other fish in the sea, is awe-inspiring. Expectation is dead to him; though the oldest member of Heavens, the weight of bearing the role as ‘most mature’ or the ‘parent’ of the group couldn’t be further from his concern. He is only any dimension of himself he wants to be at any given time. Dumb bitch by morning, bad bitch by night. Much like his bandmates, his confidence and intimidating aura is unwavering. He claims his victory before a race begins, and I couldn’t say if that undying faith in oneself is a skill or a sin. Whatever it is, he owns it. He shamelessly, unapologetically owns who he is and shares it with his fans, friends and enemies.

Also, he’s hot. He’s very appealing to the human eye. His ruggedness reminds me of a warm blanket in winter. His voice, oh his voice. If the world was about to blow up and he just said “No it won’t”, in his own way, I think I’d believe him. Regardless of what he says being juvenile or mature, he’s always authentic. No sugar coats, no little white lies, only genuity. As just said before, he is who he is and wouldn’t change for anyone if it wasn’t in his own best interest. Who couldn’t love a guy like that?

YAMATO HYUGA

From @kusagiiiii:

I'll be honest, I used to forget Yamato exists alot LMAO I fell in love with him when I was looking at a HEAVENS group photo! I think he is a very stronk,very cute and a very soft boy! in some ways haha he's my type

I honestly wish there would be more story on the HEAVENS boys since they all seem like they had a pretty rough past so yee that's basically it~

From Sammy:

Everybody, listen up! It’s Sammy here! Are you ready for some strong appreciation? Let’s shout it out! Yeah!!

Where do I begin when it comes to Yamato? It took me a while to actually like him. At first, I wasn’t a fan of how he was when he first showed up in the anime. I still remember when Yamato was one of the few HEAVENS members people really didn’t like or care much for, next to Eiichi and Nagi.

I used to be one of those people too with Yamato. I found him to be very stubborn, but over time after listening to HEAVENS Radio; The Drama CDs; Watching Maji Love Kingdom, etc… I came to realize there’s so much more to him.

I’ve learned a lot more about him, especially through role-playing as him, and my love for Yamato skyrocketed. Even with all the new content that’s been coming out for HEAVENS lately like Black Garden and Endless Score, my love grows even more every day. Yamato sneaked his way up to being one of my best boys.

Yamato is HEAVENS’ Strongest member. (Seriously, how the heck does this boy train everyday and do so much of it?!) He’s not always aggressive and violent. He’s actually a really thoughtful person who cares about his friends a lot, even being very protective of them. Yamato is the kind of person that’ll immediately stop what he’s doing, and only think about how to help the other person feel better.

A lot of things tend to be overlooked for him cause of how he’s written in the anime, and there’s fans who only pay attention to that. Not even giving the extra content a thought or a single glance.

As Ryuya’s younger brother, Yamato has his own insecurities, especially since he’s always seen as just a shadow. He’s been trapped in darkness where he feels he’s not good enough to be appreciated and loved as his own person. He doesn’t know what to do and which path to take. Yamato only became an idol just to defeat and finally be better than Ryuya at something. I feel that goal is still there, but it’s not a major one like before. Now, Yamato has people like the other members of HEAVENS, the angels, and the other idols. He found his light and happiness.

Overall, Yamato is the kind of person he wants everyone to be proud of. He wants to always share his strongest power and energy, carrying the burden of everybody’s smiles. Wanting to see those around him happy and be the best they can be.

Another part that I really like about Yamato is whenever he gets embarrassed. I can’t help, but find that really cute cause it’s something we don’t see or hear out of him a lot.

There’s also the times he demonstrates how much he loves food. Even though he overeats and knows he can’t help it when he’s hungry, I really liked when Yamato stated that if eating makes you happy, go for it. Just make sure you train afterwards to burn off calories. It helps people feel good about themselves.

Even the times when Yamato struggles with difficult words, specifically English and kanji. It’s embarrassing for him to admit, but he knows he’s not good at that sort of thing. What I really like about this is HEAVENS is always willing to help him, even Tokiya and Cecil. They help keep things simple and easy for Yamato to understand.

There’s a lot you can say I just simply vibe with when it comes to Yamato, and I love him. Hope everyone enjoys this long appreciation of this strong boy, and I hope you all love him too!

SHION AMAKUSA

From Anon:

When I saw Shion for the first time, he caught my attention with his beautiful appearance. His cream-white hair, his periwinkle eyes and his pale skin were a wonderful combination that I just couldn't ignore. Physically, he was exactly the type of character I love… Even his hairstyle is great! And what to say about his pretty face! To me, he looked like an angel.

His style in clothes is something I also like about him. With all this mixed, the only word I can use to describe him is "perfect".

But, of course, there's more than just physical appearance. Shion's way of speaking, as we all know, is quite… Particular. And those beautiful words made me be more interested in this boy, even if they were a bit difficult to understand. This characteristic is something that, in my opinion, makes him special, not only in his group but among all the groups.

That poetic way of speaking is a beautiful combination with his voice. When he speaks I find it so mystical… And when he sings his solo songs I feel relaxed and even a bit emotional. He's not an angel just physically, he also sings like one!

But what made me love him completely was his personality. To be honest, at first I didn't understand why he acted so hostile to Cecil and signed with him, but when it was explained later I could see his point of view and I felt sorry for him, for how he was feeling and the big sacrifice he was making if we take into account his thoughts.

Loyalty is something I value a lot, and Shion has a huge loyalty towards his friends. After that incident, he changes his way of thinking and he starts getting more friendly to the rest, something I find beautiful.

I also find him very cute, an extra point for me to like him. His -sometimes- childish attitude is adorable! And how he acts around his friends… So lovely!

I also feel a bit similar to him in some aspects, such as listening to the same song again and again, liking birds or even usually feeling sleepy, besides other things. These similarities make me feel connected in some way with him.

Shion is a very special character for me, and I can't wait to see more content about him, to know more about this wonderful boy, for example, about his family, where he is from, how he ended up in HEAVENS, how he started to speak the way he does… There are a lot of things we don't know yet and I hope we can get more information about Shion soon!

#utapri #utanoprincesama #uta no prince sama #eiji otori #otori eiji #shion amakusa #amakusa shion #kiryuin van #van kiryuin #hyuga yamato #Yamato Hyuga

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seeaddywrite · 4 years

Text

not a place, but a feeling

a/n: written for alex manes appreciation week 2020, day 1. i used the theme ‘home can be a person,’ but took a lot of liberties, whoops? thanks as always to @soberqueerinthewild for catching all of my repetition, wacky tenses, & holding my hand through the last 5k words of this fic, haha.

warnings: starts with forlex, but this is very clearly a malex fic & forrest does not end up particularly happy. angst with a happy ending, as per usual. 8k+ wordcount.

________

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Alex mutters to himself, turning the key in his SUV’s ignition for the third time and hoping for a miracle. The engine wheezes, sputters a few times, and finally settles into a high-pitched whine that sets Alex’s teeth on edge. Apparently, the ‘check engine’ light on his dash that morning had been more urgent than he’d expected -- and now, he’s stuck somewhere between Jim Valenti’s old hunting cabin and town. Fantastic. He’d already been running late to meet Forrest thanks to taking way too long to pick an outfit for their first official date, and now he’s over half an hour late.

As if it read his mind, Alex’s phone starts to ring, Forrest’s name flashing across the display. Groaning, Alex accepts the call and tries to crank the engine one more time. The attempt results in a screech and an alarming puff of smoke emerging from beneath the hood. With a bitten-off curse, Alex yanks the key from the ignition and throws the car door open, hastily putting a safe distance between himself and the smoking vehicle. Logic tells him that the smoke isn’t necessarily a precursor to an explosion, or even a fire, but years of military training and instinct are impossible to ignore.

“Hello? Hello? Alex, are you there?”

Alex glances from the still-smoking SUV to the phone in his palm, the source of the tinny-sounding voice calling his name. Frustrated with himself, he smacks a hand against his face and answers, hoping Forrest hasn’t already hung up on him. “Hey, yeah, I’m here. Sorry -- my car doesn’t want to start, and I guess I cranked it one too many times, because the engine just started smoking.”

For a moment, the only thing Alex hears on the other end of the line is blaring music. “I should probably not be relieved that your car blew up, huh?” Forrest asks, a self-deprecating laugh clear even through the pounding bass in the background. “I was starting to think you were standing me up.”

“What? Why would you think that?” Alex asks, putting the call on speaker so he could pull up Guerin’s contact information and start a new text while he listens. There’s no one else he could call at this hour, and he needs to be able to get to base on Monday, one way or the other. Michael would probably be able to fix the SUV, and even if he couldn’t do it overnight, he’d at least get Alex a loaner car for a few days while he did. And, after that, Alex wouldn’t have to worry about something like this happening again anytime soon; he could trust that Michael would actually fix the problem entirely, unlike any other mechanics in Roswell -- or in general, honestly.

My car gave up on me halfway to town. Any chance of some help?

It only occurs to Alex after the message has gone through that he should probably be a little more apprehensive about texting Guerin out of nowhere, but he’s really not. The two of them make a hell of a team, and after spending so much time together unravelling the mysteries of Nora and Tripp, and everything that came after, Alex is more confident than ever that Michael will always be part of his life -- even if it’s not in the way he’d initially hoped it would be. They’re family, whether or not they’re sleeping together, and Alex doesn’t doubt that anymore.

“Well, you weren’t exactly thrilled about the idea of going to Planet 7,” Forrest is saying, answering Alex’s question about why he would stand him up, and Alex feels guilty for not giving him his full attention. “And I kind of pressured you into it. I thought maybe you changed your mind.”

It’s a fair assumption, Alex supposes. He hadn’t been thrilled with the suggestion of going to Roswell’s only gay bar, even after finding the courage to push his father’s hateful words and judgements out of his mind for long enough to pull Forrest into a kiss in the middle of the Wild Pony. But he’s not the kind of guy to agree to something he really doesn’t want to do for a date, and he’d assumed Forrest would know that -- like Guerin would have. But Forrest is different from Michael; he has no reason to take Alex at his word, lacks the intimate knowledge of who Alex is that Michael has somehow managed to collect through ten years of hook-ups, break ups, and hurt feelings. And that’s not Forrest’s fault -- so Alex needs to learn to communicate better, somehow, if this has any chance of working out.

“I’m still planning on coming,” he promises, looking out at the darkened horizon, visible only because of the moonlight. “Seriously, I would’ve been there already if it weren’t for the fact that my car decided that tonight was the night it was giving up on me. I’m really looking forward to seeing you.”

There’s an audible smile in Forrest’s voice as he responds, and Alex feels vaguely proud of himself for managing to put it there, despite everything. “Okay, awesome. Want me to come get you? It’s late, so I doubt anyone’s going to be able to tow you before morning. And trust me, you don’t need to rough it in the desert overnight to prove what a badass you are. I already know.”

Alex laughs, and opens his mouth to retort -- but his phone dings, signalling an incoming barrage of messages, and Alex opens them with a swipe of his thumb, once again distracted from the phone conversation.

Let me guess. You decided to ignore your check engine light again.

Or was it an oil change you put off for six months?

You realize routine maintenance isn’t actually a suggestion, right? You either get it done, or you end up stranded in the middle of the desert begging for a ride.

On my way now with the tow now. Can you give me anything more specific than halfway to town, or am I supposed to just drive and hope for the best?

Alex snaps a picture of the nearest mile marker with the flash on, and sends it to Guerin with a quick, I plead the 5th. See you soon.

“Hello? Alex! Alex, are you --”

Alex winces guiltily and puts the phone hurriedly back to his ear. “Sorry, sorry, I’m still here. What were you saying?”

Again, all Alex hears for a long moment is the thudding of the bass from whatever stupid pop song the DJ is playing, and he runs a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself. He already basically missed their date, and now he’s only half paying attention while Forrest is kind and understanding about it. Alex doesn’t deserve his patience.

“I was asking you where you are. I’ll come get you, and we can still get in a few hours of shitty music and half-off beer,” Forrest reiterates patiently, though Alex can tell he’s starting to reach the end of his reserves of understanding. And, considering the circumstances, Alex doesn’t blame him.

“No, don’t worry about it! That’s pretty far out of your way. I already have a tow truck coming, so I’ll just have them give me a ride into town, and I’ll meet you like we planned.” Alex pauses, reflecting on his words and wondering when, exactly, he’d decided to avoid using Michael’s name… and why. It’s not like Forrest didn’t already know that the two of them were good friends. It’s not like it meant anything, that Alex called Michael to help -- his car broke down, and Michael is a mechanic. None of that added up to anything that he needed to lie to Forrest about.

And yet.

“You found a garage open at this hour in Roswell?” Forrest asked incredulously. “I can’t even get fast food past eight, so you’re going to have to share some of your black market contacts.”

The expectation of a laugh is pretty obvious, so Alex manages a slightly strained chuckle. “Uh, well, I can probably hook you up with a burger at the Crashdown after hours, but that’s about it,” he retorts, even though Liz is long-gone, and the chances of after-hours snacks at the diner are a lot lower without her. “I just called Guerin, tonight. He pretty much runs Sanders’ garage these days, and lives out back, so it’s no big deal for him to come get me.”

Alex opts to ignore the fact that he knows Michael doesn’t usually drop whatever he’s doing to rescue stranded motorists who aren’t smart enough to get their vehicle to a garage when the ‘check engine’ light comes on when he’s not working. That’s just what friends do for each other, and Alex would do the same, if their positions were reversed.

“Oh.” Alex doesn’t know Forrest well enough to read the emotion in the short syllable, but he’s not naive enough to think he sounds pleased. “You two must be pretty good friends if he’s giving up his Friday night plans to come pick you up, huh?”

It seems like a loaded question, so Alex just says, “We’ve known each other a long time,” in response, and glances up as a set of slowing headlights wash over him. Sanders’ tow truck pulls off to the side of the road in front of Alex’s SUV, and Michael waves from the window, familiar curls bouncing from the motion. Alex waves back with a grin.

“He’s pulling up now, actually, so I’m going to get off of here. I’ll give you a call and let you know when I’m five minutes out, if you still want to try to spend some time together tonight?”

Alex watches as Michael hops out of the truck and starts toward him with the usual swagger in his stride. It’s hard to tell what he was doing before he got Alex’s text, because he’s wearing the same ragged jeans and worn jacket that Alex has seen him in a hundred times, but there’s enough volume in his curls to suggest he put some effort into his hair. A date with Maria, maybe? Or hanging out with Isobel, who loved to make fun of his hair if he didn’t put the effort in?

“Yeah, okay,” Forrest says, recapturing Alex’s attention for a minute. “I’ll stay and have a few drinks, and I’ll see you when you get here. Tell Michael I said ‘hey.’”

“Will do,” Alex says, and ends the call just as Michael reaches him, hand extended for the keys.

“So?” he asks, and despite the darkness, Alex knows exactly what the teasing expression on Michael’s face looks like. It’s always the same -- a furrowed brow, a mischievous glint in his eyes, even as he manages to keep his lips from turning up in a too-obvious smile. It’s a look that never ceases to make Alex’s heartbeat speed up, even now, when they’ve moved past any real chance of romantic reconciliation. “Which one was it? Check engine light or skipped oil change?”

Alex rolls his eyes, but tosses his keys into Michael’s open palm. “Look, it’s not my fault that the check engine light comes on when you need an oil change -- who wouldn’t assume that’s the problem and keep driving?” They’ve had this argument before; Alex always takes his car to Michael when something goes wrong, and Michael always has to point out that Alex sucks at taking care of an engine. At this point, Alex would almost be disappointed if the mocking stopped.

Michael shakes his head in faux disappointment and disappears to pop the hood, leaving Alex to follow behind and watch. Another wave of smoke wafts into the night sky when the hood opens, and Michael sends Alex a disbelieving look over his shoulder. “Seriously? How many times did you try to start it when it made the grinding noise? A hundred? This would’ve taken me two minutes to fix if you hadn’t kept pushing it.” He’s pulled a flashlight from somewhere and is shining the beam down into the guts of the SUV, staring at what, to Alex, looks like a bunch of hoses, wires, and smoke.

“Sorry,” Alex says sheepishly. “Don’t worry about it tonight if it’s going to take a while -- I’m sure you had plans. We can just tow it back to town and worry about it again on Monday, during actual working hours.”

There’s a clank and a thud, and another plume of smoke curls up from the engine. Michael groans, and straightens up to slam the hood closed. “Yeah, okay, I give up. Let’s just get it on the truck and I’ll figure out what you did to it when I can actually see what I’m doing.” They both take a few steps back, and Michael turns, looking down the silent road for a minute before glancing back at Alex. “I’m going to cheat, since there’s no one else around. You can just get in the truck if you want. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Michael doesn’t wait for an answer before he’s staring intensely at the SUV. After a moment, with a slide of gravel and the squeal of tires, the SUV moves up the ramp on its own. There’s a thud as the connections fasten under the guidance of Michael’s metaphysical hands, and a few minutes later, they’re on their way back into Roswell.

For once, the silence between them isn’t loaded with things they should have said. Alex is reclined in the seat, relaxed and comfortable with someone he trusts driving -- but the ease of the atmosphere evaporates quickly when Michael asks, “So where am I dropping you? Do you need a ride back out to your place?”

It shouldn’t be this hard to tell Michael that he’s meeting Forrest. They haven’t been together in a long time, if they ever really even were -- and Michael has Maria. It’s not like he’s going to be upset. But the words feel stuck in Alex’s throat as he opens his mouth to answer, and his stomach squirms unpleasantly. “Uh, no,” he says. “I’m actually … meeting someone. At Planet 7.” His eyes are locked on the road straight ahead, but Alex can’t help himself; he glances at Michael through his periphery to check for a reaction.

Michael’s shoulders have lost their comfortable slouch, and his spine is rigid. He obviously still cares about who Alex is spending his time with -- but Alex isn’t going to apologize. They’re both moving on, and they need to remember that.

“Yeah,” Michael says finally. “I kind of guessed. You’re pretty dressed up for a night of snacks in front of the TV.”

Alex glances down at himself, taking in the dark-wash jeans and button-up shirt he’d selected for the occasion. “I guess so,” he agrees, sighing. “Uh, what were you doing with your night, before you were rudely interrupted by my smoking engine?” It’s not the most graceful subject change, but Alex doesn’t really care as long as they’re away from the topic of Forrest.

Michael snorts. “Trust me, I was relieved you called -- it’s my night to babysit Max and make sure he doesn’t take off after Liz. Towing a car is way more exciting than watching him boohoo into his beer.”

“I’m surprised you’re not glued to Maria’s side, since she just got out of the hospital.” Alex had only been trying to keep the conversation moving steadily away from his own date that night; he doesn’t expect Michael to go rigid in response. He blinks, turning in the passenger seat to get a better look at Michael’s expression, but he’s gone blank.

“Maria and I are over.” The answer, when it comes, is terse and definitely over-simplified, but Alex knows better than to ask for details. If Michael wanted to share, he would have already, and while friends might have license to pry into each other’s personal life, Alex doesn’t want Michael doing the same in return, so he stays quiet aside from a soft, “I’m sorry.”

The drive loses the easy sense of camaraderie after that. Alex spends the next twenty minutes into town fighting with a small, cruel voice in the back of his head that keeps whispering celebratory words about Michael’s break-up. They’re friends now. Friends don’t think like that, but even after a decade of separation, it’s hard not to think of Michael as more than a friend. Alex hopes that he just needs some practice; otherwise, none of this is going to end well.

Planet 7 isn’t exactly in the middle of town, but Michael finds it without any direction. Alex slides out of the passenger seat when he sees Forrest coming toward them, smiling, and glances back at Michael. “Thanks for the help, Guerin,” he says earnestly. “I really appreciate it.”

Michael nods, his expression still tense, though Alex thinks that’s less about his break-up and more about Forrest, now. “No problem. If you need a ride home, just let me know.”

Forrest has reached them by this point; one of his arms falls over Alex’s shoulders, and Alex only startles for a moment before relaxing again when he realizes who’s touching him. Michael’s eyes narrow slightly, but not enough to be noticeable to someone who isn’t really looking.

“That won’t be necessary,” Forrest tells Michael pleasantly, though he’s standing closer than he ever has before when they aren’t joined at the mouth. Alex sighs inwardly -- this is what he’d been trying to avoid. He doesn’t want Forrest thinking he needs to compete with Michael. Competition and jealousy in a relationship never ends well, and Alex wants one good thing in his life. Surely that’s not too much to ask? “I’ll make sure he gets home in one piece. Thanks for bringing him though, Alien Dude!”

Michael nods at Forrest, then glances back at Alex, an unreadable expression in his dark gaze. “I’ll call you tomorrow about the SUV,” he promises. “It might take me a couple of hours, but I’ll get it up and running for you by Monday. You need to be on base by six, right?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Guerin -- I owe you one.” Really, he’s lost track of who’s one-upping who when it comes to favors, but Alex isn’t interested in keeping score, and he doesn’t think Michael cares much, either.

Michael nods at them one more time, his eyes lingering on Alex’s face for long enough to make him start to squirm, and then he’s gone, disappearing in a plume of exhaust and the groan of overworked machinery, leaving Alex and Forrest staring after his his taillights and Alex feeling strangely bereft.

“All right,” Forrest says, his voice twice as cheerful as it had been only a moment ago. “Let’s get the night started, shall we? You missed out on Happy Hour, but I scored you a feather boa anyway.”

Alex laughs, letting the teasing ease him back from thinking about Michael and into focusing on Forrest and their plans. This is the path he’d chosen, the person he’d chosen. He’s never going to give up on being a part of Michael’s life, and he’ll protect the aliens and their secret with everything he has in him to make up for what his family did to theirs. But Michael can be his family without being his lover, and Alex needs to stop confusing the two before he winds up heartbroken and alone all over again.

Sometimes, love just isn’t enough. Cosmic doesn’t mean much without commitment, without trust, and there are too many complicated feelings between Alex and Michael to make a go of it. So he smiles, leans into Forrest’s side, and allows himself to be led into Planet 7 with a warm arm draped over his shoulders.

*******

Despite the anxiety leading up to their first few dates, being with Forrest turns out to be surprisingly easy. He’s smart and funny, quick with a witty comment or self-deprecating joke, and never pushes Alex further than he’s willing to be pushed. He understands Alex’s service background and love of writing, even if music isn’t his preferred medium, and encourages Alex to dress and act in a way that makes him feel true to himself. Alex smiles a lot around him, and laughs, and starting their relationship feels like sliding into an old, worn jacket -- soft and comfortable, without any real friction.

“So, basically, you’re bored,” Maria summarizes, after Alex finishes telling her about how smoothly things are going. They’re in the Wild Pony just after opening, Maria in her usual position behind the bar, Alex sitting on a stool opposite. She’s only been back to work for a few weeks after her stint in the hospital, but there’s no sign of weakness in the way she runs her business -- or the way she’s looking at him now.

“What? No! That’s not what I mean,” Alex argues, shaking his head quickly. “I said things are comfortable between us. That doesn’t mean I’m bored!”

Maria raised an eyebrow, her brightly-painted fingernails tapping against the bar. She’s dressed fairly conservatively tonigh in a flannel shirt and a pair of form-fitting jeans, but her nails are painted in pastels, a minor homage to her usual style. “Sweetie, you’ve been dating for what, two weeks? Relationships that new aren’t supposed to be easy, and definitely not comfortable. Two weeks in is like the honeymoon! You’re supposed to want to spend every waking moment together, to have to fight to keep your hands off of each other -- and instead of telling me about how hot he makes you, you’re comparing him to an old coat.” Skepticism drips from her words, and Alex crosses his arms over his chest and stares back at her in return annoyance.

“We’re taking things slow,” he says, and winces inwardly at the defensive tone.

While it’s true that Alex hasn’t exactly had to fight to keep his hands off of Forrest, he hasn’t been fully honest about them agreeing to take their sexual relationship slowly. Alex isn’t a prude, and it’s not that Forrest isn’t exactly his type. He’s just been unsure about taking that next step. Every time their dates end up at Forrest’s place -- and it’s honestly just a coincidence that Forrest has never stayed at Alex’s. It’s just always worked out that way; Alex isn’t trying to keep him out of his personal space -- and their goodbye turns into a little more than kiss, there’s always something holding Alex back from letting the moment continue. Forrest is great about it, and smiles when Alex pulls away, but after four dates and four attempts at moving onto second base, Alex can tell he’s starting to get frustrated.

Honestly, so is Alex. He doesn’t know why he’s so reticent to sleep with his boyfriend. Forrest has always been embarrassingly up front about finding Alex sexy, and he’s never so much as blinked at the realities of Alex’s amputation or scars -- but even so, Alex can’t do it. He’s just not ready.

But he’ll be damned if he admits any of that to Maria. Alex has no desire to know how she’d read into that information whatsoever.

“Uh-huh, right. Slow.” Maria pours a shot of whiskey into two glasses and slides one across the bartop to him, eyebrows raised in challenge, and Alex makes a face, but clinks his shot glass against Maria’s and knocks it back. “Okay, great. Are you drunk enough to tell me the truth now, or --”

“Whoa, shots before the sun goes down? And here I thought I was the town drunk.”

When Alex turns, he finds himself face-to-face with a smirking Michael Guerin. He’s wearing his usual jeans and open-collared shirt, black cowboy hat tipped forward on his head, and he’s obviously trying to act nonchalant. But Alex knows that he’s been avoiding Maria ever since she broke up with him -- Maria had been complaining about it half an hour ago. With that in mind, he looks at Michael again, and sees the tense lines around his eyes and the sharp edges of his smile.

“I think I’ve got a ways to go before I’m even tipsy,” Alex retorts, shaking his head in bemusement. “But you’re welcome to join us and see how many shots it takes.” In the weeks since their last meeting, it’s gotten easier to be around Michael without worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing. They’ve relaxed back into their usual banter, supported by genuine care for each other, and Alex isn’t spending every second of every interaction analyzing microexpressions anymore. It’s a nice change, and he’s planning on doing whatever he can to make sure it sticks around this time.

“You have no idea how much I wish I could,” Michael groans, and gestures over one shoulder with his thumb. Alex follows the movement and finds Isobel and Max Evans settling into a table at the back of the bar. Isobel’s perfectly-lined eyes are rolling in what can only be exasperation, and Max just looks miserable. There are bags beneath his eyes, and his hair and beard have seen better days, while Isobel is her usual immaculate self in floral dress with a flowing skirt and an updo. “Iz decided she’s had enough of Max’s moping and wants to get him laid.”

The disbelieving noise that escapes from Alex’s throat really isn’t a reflection on Max’s looks -- he has no doubt that, if his heart were in it, the defacto leader of Michael’s little family could find someone to take home with him. But the guy is clearly miserable and heartbroken over Liz’s departure, still. There’s no way Isobel’s going to convince him to pick anyone up tonight, no matter how many beautiful women she parades past the table.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Michael says, shaking his head. “I told her she’s crazy. Max has been pining over Liz for longer than he’s known how to speak in complete sentences. There’s no way he’s moving on that easy -- but you know how Isobel is.” He shrugs, a what can you do? sort of gesture, and Alex is stopped from answering by Maria clearing her throat pointedly from behind the bar.

Michael glances her way, his shoulders tensing for a second, but his smile is only slightly strained. “‘Sup, Deluca?” he asks. “I need three of whatever you’ve got on tap.” The interaction is wholly impersonal, and Alex almost winces for Maria, who definitely didn’t miss the cool tone in Michael’s voice as he spoke to her. Obviously, he’s still upset about the break-up, or at least holding onto some hard feelings. It’s not like Alex can blame him either, as much as he wants to be able to take Maria’s side, or at least understand her perspective. But Alex knows what it’s like to love Michael Guerin, and he knows what it’s like to lose him, and he can’t understand why Maria would put herself through that if she didn’t have to. She hasn’t really explained herself, either, to Michael or to Alex, so it’s almost impossible to empathize.

“You should come hang out,” Michael invites, when Maria turns away to get his drinks. “There’s already a crowd, so she’s going to be too busy to chat soon.” He’s right; the Pony has filled up while Maria grilled him on Forrest, and there’s already a line forming at the bar. For now, the second bartender has it covered, but it won’t be long before Maria will have to devote her full attention to running drinks. “You get company, I have someone to buffer and maybe stop me from killing one of my siblings . . . it’s a win-win situation, really.”

Alex chuckles, and nods his easy agreement. He’s not entirely sure how he feels about Max Evans after what he did to Flint -- it’s not like he hadn’t had a good reason to want the man dead, considering what he’d done, but despite all of his sins, Flint is still Alex’s brother. But it’s hard to look at the guy moping in a bar full of people and see a cold-blooded killer, and Alex wants to like Max. Plus, Isobel is always good for a laugh and at least one ridiculous story, and Alex never needs much of an excuse to spend time with Michael. “Yeah, sure,” he says. “But I’m telling you, if Max starts crying into his cup, I’m out of there.”

“Deal,” Michael agrees with a laugh. He heads back to the table with Isobel and Max, his body language getting looser the further he gets from Maria. Alex wonders if he realizes how much more relaxed he seems as he rejoins Max and Isobel -- before Max’s death, that was the last word he would have used to describe Michael in his presence, but now, it’s like something has clicked between them, and Guerin is clearly most comfortable with his family.

Alex tries not to hope that extends to him.

“He’s still giving you the cold shoulder, huh?” Alex asks, once Michael is out of earshot. He’ll go join them in a minute, after he has a chance to say goodbye to Maria and try, one more time, to figure out why she’d ended a relationship that seemed to make her genuinely happy.

Sighing, Maria nods. “Guess so. I was hoping that it’d get better, once he finally started coming back to the Pony, but --” she waves a hand in Guerin’s vague direction, the golden bangles on her wrist clacking together. “I get a ‘hey, how are you?’ and a ‘I’ll take a beer, please,’ and that’s about it. He doesn’t even try to get out of paying anymore, and I never thought I’d be bummed about that.” Her nose wrinkles, and Maria hunches forward over her elbows on the bar, looking run down. “I miss him, you know?”

Alex knows. Intimately. “Then maybe you shouldn’t have broken up with him?” he suggests leadingly, hoping that he’ll get a reason without having to ask, explicitly, why Maria had ended things. The suggestion sends a brief shock of something through his chest, but Alex doesn’t let himself stop to analyze it.

Maria rolls her eyes, but there’s a lingering sadness in them that Alex could pick up from across town. He knows Maria too well to fall for the act she’s putting on, and they both know it. “I had to,” she says finally, the words slow enough that Alex can tell she’s thinking it through even as she answers. “I didn’t want to, but—“ The sentence hangs in the air between them, but Maria doesn’t finish; instead, she shrugs. “I didn’t doubt that he loved me, you know. That wasn’t it— I know he thinks it was. But when you went missing, he just... didn’t think. Didn’t stop to ask for help, or wonder what he was walking into. He just started off on this crusade to get you back, all on his own.”

Alex opens his mouth, ready to tell her that Michael would have done the same for her, and that kind of recklessness probably isn’t a healthy, positive trait in a stable relationship, but Maria silences him with a look.

“Every time I called, every time I needed him— it wasn’t like that. He was always there, he always showed up for me— I’m not complaining! But Michael never jumped without looking, without thinking first, when it came to me. He was never desperate, or past reason, you know? He always managed to keep his secrets, or protect his family while he was saving me. But he didn’t do that when it came to you. Michael thought you were in real, mortal danger, and his first instinct was to do whatever was necessary to save you, and screw whoever else it might hurt.”

What the hell is he supposed to say to that? He sees where Maria is going with her explanation, now, and he’s not proud of the small, smug feeling hiding beneath the incredulity growing under his breastbone. “Maria, that’s not --”

“And,” Maria interrupts, raising her voice as if determined to be heard, whether Alex wants to listen or not. “As stupid as it sounds, considering the sci-fi horror movie our lives have become, I want someone to be that desperate at the thought of losing me.” Maria laughs, then, a short, self-deprecating sound. “I don’t want to play second-fiddle to the one great love of his life, Alex. As much as I love him, as much as I believe he loves me, dating isn’t fair for either of us.”

Alex stares at her, his lips parted as he flounders for the right words. He’s torn between trying to convince her that she’s wrong, that he and Michael are doing well at being friends and that it’s enough, and telling her that maybe she’s right, that it was never going to work out, and he wants her to be happy.

“That’s not— he’s not—“ Alex can’t argue, really. He knows, deep down, in the same part of his subconscious that knows the sky is blue and the grass is green, that Michael would do anything for him, and Alex would do the same in return. Even when they couldn’t look at each other without wanting to scream or cry, they’d always done their best to protect one another, and Alex doesn’t think that’s ever going to change. He’d promised Michael, once, that he’d keep him safe from his family, from the government, and Alex isn’t going to go back on his word on the off-chance that Michael and Maria might manage to work things out.

“Look, Maria,” he says finally. “Helena asked him to build a weapon of mass destruction.” The words feel the words like they’re being torn from his throat, but Alex perseveres. “And he did it. If she’d wanted him to build a bomb that could kill everyone in town, or more— he really might have done it, no matter who got hurt, just like you said.” Another full shot glass appears in front of him when he pauses, and Alex throws it back without a second thought, hoping the liquor will ease the ache caused by reliving everything that’s gone wrong with Guerin. “And how am I supposed to live with that? Knowing what he might do? What I could do, if our roles got reversed?”

The question is as good as admitting that Alex still has feelings for Michael, and he knows it. Hiding things, especially feelings, from Maria DeLuca has always been all but impossible, and this time, she’d barely had to give him a nudge before he spilled his guts. Damn it. How is he supposed to go over and drink with Michael and his family now?

“See? The fact that you didn’t even try to deny it is pretty telling, Alex,” Maria says, her lips quirked at the corners. “Instead, you immediately jump to how dangerous the lengths you’d go to for each other are. And yeah, maybe it’s a bad idea for you to be together -- I don’t know. That’s for you two to figure out.” Soft hands tighten around his. “But I had to make a choice for myself, too, and now I’m sure I made the right one.”

The noises of the bar and growing crowd around them fill the silence until Alex squeezes Maria’s hands and moves to pull back to say goodbye, before Guerin comes back to ask what’s taking so long -- the last thing either of them need is for Michael to overhear this conversation. But Maria’s grip tightens instead of releasing, and when Alex glances up at her, eyebrow raised in question, she’s staring at him with a strange intensity that tells him he really, really doesn’t want to hear whatever she’s about to say next.

“Don’t you think that Forrest should have a chance to make that choice?” she asks, and Alex yanks his hands free as he slides down from the barstool, more than ready to tell Maria to have a good night and leave. “I know you don’t want to hear it, Alex, but dating him is no different than Michael dating me. And--”

“And what, Maria?” Alex demands sharply. “You want me to tell you that I’m not sure about Forrest? You want me to admit there are times when we’re together that I have to remind myself that he’s not Michael, and I can’t expect him to know stupid things like the fact that I never remember to get a freaking oil change? Yeah, okay! I’ve been in love with Michael since I was seventeen. I can’t just flip a switch and stop feeling that way, even if it’s the right thing to do!”

Flustered at the sudden deluge of feeling and irritated by Maria’s pushing, Alex barely registers when Maria’s gaze jerks to one side and widens. “Alex -”

But he’s been holding back for weeks, months, years of watching Michael with other people and trying to open himself up to dating, too, and Alex isn’t ready to stop talking now that he’s started. So he ploughs forward, ignoring her interruption. “But you can’t compare yourself with Forrest, either -- it’s not the same. We’re dating! It’s fun, but he’s not in love with me. It’s not --”

“Alex!”

“Oh, no, don’t interrupt him on my account.”

Fuck. Like he was free-falling from a plane without the guarantee of a parachute, Alex’s stomach sinks and flips.

Forrest.

Alex spins around to find the guy he’s supposed to be dating standing less than a foot away, back and to Alex’s right, just a little in front of the crowd that now stretches from the entrance to the bar itself. Horror and guilt bloom in his stomach, making him feel nauseous. Alex struggles to make his mouth form words, his mind spinning as he tries to put together an explanation for whatever Forrest had just heard -- and what had he heard? How long has he been standing there? Alex honestly has no fucking clue, and the horrified, apologetic expression on Maria’s face suggests that she doesn’t, either. “I --” Alex shakes his head and forces a smile on his face. He can only hope it doesn’t look too fake. “I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight,” he says, biting his lower lip.

Both of Forrest’s eyebrows lift high enough that they disappear into his hairline. “Yeah, I’d say that’s pretty obvious,” he drawls, arms crossed defensively over his chest. Alex’s heartbeat speeds as the uncomfortable moment stretches between them, and for once, he’s grateful when someone drops a quarter in the jukebox and starts blaring an old country song at top volume. It cuts through the awkwardness a little, at least. “I came to meet a couple of friends who wanted to talk about plans to expand Open Mic night -- so, imagine my surprise when I came over here and heard the guy I’m dating talking about still being in love with his ex.”

Alex grips the edge of the bar, hard, and looks down at the floor. “I’m sorry you had to hear that,” he says quietly, the words barely audible over the din of the bar. “Can we maybe go somewhere to talk about this? I know I owe you an explanation, and I didn’t mean to --”

But Forrest shakes his head before he can even finish the sentence, lips thin and eyes hard. “Look,” he says, and the timbre of his voice matches the look in his eyes. “We haven’t been dating long, and you really don’t owe me an explanation. I’ve known you have history with Guerin since we met at the barn, and it’s not like I haven’t had plenty of clues since then that you’re not over him.” He runs fingers through his vibrantly blue hair, looking away from Alex while his jaw clenches and unclenches. When his gaze meets Alex’s again, the anger is still obvious, but this time, resignation is, too. “I mean, come on. You called him to come pick you up for our first date, when I could have come to get you just as easily after the car died. And last week, when you were talking to Liz in the car? You should have seen the way your face lit up when you started telling her about how he’s thinking about going to college or whatever. And that song -- fuck. How did I miss that the song was about him?”

Forrest paces in a small circuit around the barstools in their immediate area, and Alex remains silent, unable to say or do anything to defend himself or correct Forrest -- because everything he’s said is true. Alex may not have realized it, and he’d truly gone into this relationship with the best of intentions, but he’d never really wanted Forrest. He’d liked the way he felt with Forrest, enjoyed being flirted with and pushed out of the comfort zone he’d hidden within for so long, and Alex had mistaken liking Forrest’s company for romantic feelings. And all the while, he’d been trying to push away real romantic feelings for Guerin, like he’d been doing for the last decade of his life.

God, he’s such an asshole.

“So. Here it is. I’m going to go home, get drunk, and hate you for a while. You’re going to leave me alone. And then, in a few months when I can look at you without wanting to either yell or cry, we’re going to be friends. Because there aren’t enough gay guys in Roswell, and I think we could both use a friend who gets it.”

It’s such a Forrest way of breaking up with Alex that he almost laughs. It didn’t seem like anything could ruffle Forrest’s feathers -- it had been one of the things that drew Alex to him from the start. That constant calm, the feeling that no matter how chaotic and out of control Alex got, Forrest would be steady. But a desire for control, or something easy, isn’t a good enough reason to be with someone, not when Alex has always thrived in high-pressure situations, has always sought out the adrenaline rush. Maybe it’s a side effect of his ruined childhood, but Alex has always preferred the chaos of his time with Michael to anything else.

Alex swallows, his smile small and a little sad when he nods at Forrest. “Okay. I can do that. But seriously, I really am sorry. I really thought that I could move on, and I wanted to try with you because you always made me feel so brave.”

Forrest sucks in a breath, shakes his head again, and disappears into the crowd, headed toward the exit.

Alex doesn’t go after him.

******

It takes Michael about twenty minutes to find him after Alex leaves the Wild Pony. He’d considered sticking around and drinking until the shame and guilt melted away into an alcoholic haze, but ultimately, Alex has enough problems without adding alcoholism to the list. So he’d said goodnight to a still-apologetic Maria, avoided the stares and whispers that came from being dumped very publicly in a small, gossip-mongering town, and slipped out into the street.

He walks home, thankful for the house he bought that’s only a mile or so from the Wild Pony and the fact that he’s able to walk for a mile without the pinching and aching his old prosthetic had caused. He’ll be sore tomorrow, probably, but it’s worth the night air and the chance to clear his head. The confrontation with Forrest had been so public that Alex is feeling more embarrassed than guilty, at this point, but he knows that when that dies down, he’ll be angry with himself for hurting someone that way. No, Forrest hadn’t been in love with him, but that didn’t excuse the way Alex had treated him -- and he’s going to have to deal with that, somehow.

“You know, I’m pretty sure normal people don’t walk down abandoned alleys at this hour,” a familiar voice says from behind him, and instead of jumping at the unexpected presence, Alex lets go of the tension he hadn’t known he was carrying. Michael Guerin’s voice has always meant security, to Alex, even when it wasn’t guaranteed.

“Good thing neither of us are normal people,” Alex shoots back, stopping to wait for Michael to catch up. When they’re shoulder to shoulder, he starts forward again, falling into step with Guerin without even thinking about it. “I thought you’d still be at the Pony-- it’s awfully early, if you’re trying to keep that town drunk title.”

Michael huffs a laugh. “What do you mean? They ended the night with a floor show, so I figured the bar was closing.” He should probably be offended by the joke, Alex thinks, or at the very least embarrassed that Michael most likely overheard everything Forrest said, but he’s not. Instead, he’s just glad that Michael cared enough to chase after him, even now.

They walk in silence for a while longer before they arrive at the fence around Alex’s yard. He opens it with his key and gestures Michael inside -- he’s come this far, after all, and he isn’t trying to make an excuse to leave. Alex kills the security system and leads the way into the kitchen, kicking off his shoes and shrugging out of his jacket as he goes. “You want coffee?” he asks, heading straight for the coffee pot that’s served him well for the last several years.

Michael shrugs. “Sure, if you’re making it anyway.” He leans against the wall of cabinets a foot or so away from where Alex is measuring out coffee grounds, one foot propped casually behind him, arms hanging loose at his sides, and Alex can feel the weight of his stare as he flips the power switch on the coffee pot. But neither of them say anything, and the anticipation of the moment when someone finally breaks is enough to make Alex’s pulse speed up.

“So, are we going to talk about this, or --?” Unsurprisingly, Guerin is the first one to give in and speak.

Alex turns to face him properly, fidgeting with the bottom of his henley as he does. “Do you want to?”

It’s a fair question. Every time Alex has tried to talk to Guerin about their relationship, about the chance of moving forward, Michael’s been the one to say ‘no,’ or to walk away, and Alex doesn’t know if he’s brave enough to try again without some reassurance that this time will be different. He doesn’t mind fighting for Michael, doesn’t mind protecting him and loving him from a distance, if that’s what he needs, but there’s a limit to the number of times he can put himself on the line and be vulnerable only to have it thrown back in his face.

There’s a beat of silence, but ultimately, Michael nods. “Last time we talked about this, I couldn’t unravel what your father did to my mother from you and me,” he says quietly, his grease-stained fingers drumming idly on his own arms. “And I needed to know if I could find something -- someone -- who didn’t have the same power over me that you always have. Being with you has always made me feel like I’m in free fall, and I couldn’t be sure there wasn’t about to be a fiery crash landing.”

It hurts more than Alex expected, to hear that, but he knows he’s given Michael reason to worry. “Yeah,” he sighs, flipping the coffee pot off when the light comes on, signalling that it’s done brewing. “Is that still how you feel now?” If the answer is ‘yes,’ Alex doesn’t know where this conversation will lead, but he needs to know either way.

“Alex, I’m pretty sure I’m always going to feel out of control when I’m around you,” Michael says bluntly, taking a step forward, his gaze intent on Alex’s face. “You and me, we’ve never been easy, and my bet is that if we try this, we’re going to have to put some effort in to make it work -- but my mom never got the chance to be with Tripp. She had a lot more reasons than I do to be afraid, or to run in the other direction, and she didn’t, because she knew that love was worth it.”

Reading Tripp’s journal had been an emotional experience for all involved, but Alex wonders if he missed Michael having this revelation that day. He’d been caught up in his own thoughts, his own regrets for himself and his father, and the people they might have been if Tripp survived, so he supposes it’s possible.

“I don’t want to spend any more time wondering if we can be happy together,” Michael continues, suddenly close enough that Alex can feel his breath against his face. As usual, his mere proximity makes Alex’s cheeks feel warm and his stomach feel tight. He couldn’t speak now, even if he wanted to interrupt. “I don’t want to wake up every day for the rest of my life with the same hollow feeling in my gut when I realize you’re not in bed beside me. I don’t want to watch you date anymore assholes who make you smile, and I -- fuck, I want to be able to remind you to get your damn car serviced so you don’t end up stranded on the side of the road!”

Alex’s laugh is a little wet, and he’s reaching out to touch Michael’s stubbled cheek before his mind registers the action. He’s utterly overwhelmed with Michael’s admission, blown away by the honesty and the affection and the care, and God, he wants. He aches for Michael in that moment like he’d spent the better part of a decade aching for him in another part of the world, homesick for a person who wasn’t his anymore, and Alex wants to reclaim that home now more than ever.

Michael swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing convulsively, and continues, “I still can’t look away, Alex. And it hasn’t been our time, but now -- now I think it could be. If you still want to try this with me.”

This time, Alex’s laugh is incredulous. “I thought you heard what Forrest said at the bar,” he says, his expression impossibly fond as he looks back at Michael. “I’m in love with you. And I’m done running.”

The impulse to do it again will come back, he knows. Alex’s spent his entire adult life running, in some way or another, and that’s not going to vanish overnight because he has Michael. But he wants to stay, now. He wants to make a home with the man in front of him, wants to tie their lives together in every conceivable way and spend the rest of his days protecting Michael and making him happy. And that’s a pretty solid foundation on which to build.

Michael’s smile is wide and earnest in a way Alex has so rarely seen, and he drinks it in, promising himself that he’s going to take every opportunity to make Michael smile that way in the future.

And then, without overthinking, without worrying about what happens next, Alex closes the remaining distance between their bodies and seals their lips together in a hard, affirming kiss. Michael’s arms close around him, and Alex allows himself to melt into the warm, strong chest in front of him, content in the knowledge that Michael won’t let him fall.

For the first time since he went to war at eighteen, Alex Manes is officially home.

#alexweek2020 #alexappreciation2020 #my fic #malex fic #not a place but a feeling

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kreactionsentertainment · 3 years

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Pokemon x Exo pt. 3: Poke Kid Joey

Admin Note: I would like to reiterate that both main characters are over 20 in this story.

Disclaimer: I don’t own pokemon, exo, nct’s Haechan, or the boys in general. This is for fictional and creative fun.

Tags: Pokemon, Exo, Reader insert

Looking at your Sobble nervously, the Sobble seemed to recognize Scorbunny as a friend and got ready to fight. You nodded slightly at Donghyuck and borrowed a stance you saw trainers use on T.V. The Scorbunny and Sobble seemed to know more about battling than you did. Both of the pokémon seemed to be comfortable in standing against each other. As if knowing no matter the aftermath of the battle, their friendship will stay intact.

“Y/N! From now on I will be called Haechan! Scorbunny and I will become a solar eclipse upon the training world! Look away now, no one can take on such a team surrounded by sunrays!” Donghyuck, now deemed as Haechan, smiled brightly while his scorbunny struck a cute little pose.

“Oh Really? I hope you don’t mind Sobble and I becoming a Lunar eclipse to defeat your solar flare,” You challenged. Even though you said it, you cringed a little bit internally.

“Scorbunny use Tackle!” Haechan jumped the gun to make his move first.

“Studying the chart, a while back, you recalled water is strong against fire type pokémon.“Sobble use watergun!” You decided after checking to see if Sobble was okay. Sobble took a moment to prepare itself and let loose a stream of water. It slapped the Scorbunny across the face and Scorbunny fell back. The water move was a lot more powerful than what you were expecting. The Scorbunny hopped back up.

“Alright I see how you want to battle, haha! Scorbunny use Ember!” Haechan yelled out, you flinched as the fire move hit Sobble. Although it wasn’t highly effective, it still had to hurt.

“Sobble use Pound!” You matched Haechan’s energy, knowing the Scorbunny couldn’t last much longer after such a powerful water move. As if agreeing with your suspicion, the Scorbunny fell back after the being hit by pound and didn’t get back up. The battle seemed to end as quickly as it started. Sobble quickly ran over to check on his friend. You followed worriedly as Haechan picked up Scorbunny.

“That was a great first battle, and I can see that Scorbunny and I need to work really hard to catch up to you two. I thought Scorbunny and I had an instant connection, but you two are quite powerful together,” Haechan spoke as he led you and Sobble back to the pokémart to heal Scorbunny.

“It was our first battle, I’m sure we just got lucky. Sobble and I haven’t truly bonded just yet,” You shook your head and bent down to pick up Sobble. The two of you walked into the pokémart and waited in a small line for the woman behind the counter to heal your pokémon.

“Alright well, I’m going to run up ahead. I want to put together the best team possible! I’ll meet you in Zinnia City where we will take on the youngest of the Nine!” Haechan smiled happily as he gave you a quick hug and ran off to the first route.

You watched as Haechan became smaller in the distance and you took a final look around Orchidville. With Sobble by your side, the two of you began your journey. Route 1 didn’t seem to be much trouble as the sign for Route 2 became visible after a few minutes. As you began Route 2 a child jumped out of a bush and onto your path. You jumped back startled.

“Stop trainer! I’m going to be the best trainer around! I challenge you to a pokémon battle!” They were dressed in a pikachu onesie and they pointed at you like you stole something from them.

“I don’t know about that-“ The child threw out a Skwovet before you could finish your sentence.

“I don’t want to battle a child,” You quickly stated as you tried to stop the battle.

“What are you too good to accept my challenge? Poké Kid Joey is here to take you down!” The child, Joey, insisted.

“Where are your parents?” You looked around, hoping to see concerned parents coming to stop the battle. You saw no one doing that. Your Sobble looked at you confusedly.

“Are you new? We made eye contact you have to battle me! That’s the rules! How are you going to get past Route 2 if you don’t know the rules?” Joey rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest in a disappointed fashion.

“Skwovet use tackle!” Joey pointed at Sobble and the Skwovet rushed forward. You sighed noticing this child is not going to leave you alone. You certainly weren’t going to allow this child and his rodent to hurt Sobble without a consequence.

“Sobble use Pound,” Your Sobble turned from you and rushed forward to attack the rodent. After a few turns the rodent fell back in defeat.

“Ah rats! You beat me! Aren’t you being a bit too mean,” Joey sighed and picked up his Skwovet, you felt awful as Joey walked past you back to Orchidville. Sobble looked at you in a pointed manner.

“What was I supposed to do?” You asked Sobble, who promptly started walking away from you.

“He attacked me?” You tried to reason with the Sobble as it walked beside you.

A couple minutes of silence passed, when suddenly a Nickit jumped out of the tall grass. Once again, you’ve been startled by a small attacker. The Sobble got into position, making the decision to fight for you. As you tell Sobble to Pound, the small Nickit gets a little weaker. You pulled a pokéball out of your bag and throw it above the Nickit. The Nickit seemed to chuckle at your horrible throw, so you throw another.

It opens up and you wait in anticipation to see if the Nickit will become apart of your team. The ball wiggles once, twice, three times before finally settling. You smile and pick up the ball, you then give Sobble a potion to heal your partner pokémon. A few more trainers tried to take you and Sobble on, only to be bested by your partner. After a couple hours of battling and walking, Zinnia City appeared in the distance. You held Sobble close and started to walk quickly until you made it into the city.

Zinnia City is very lively. Flowers and bushes outlined the roads and walkways, not a lot of trees to stop the wind from running around the city though. Many trees seemed to outline the outside of the city rather than the inside. You stopped at the pokémart as soon as you saw it to heal Sobble and Nickit. As you left, a familiar voice grabbed your attention.

“Y/N! Hey!” You turned around to see Haechan smiling and waving excitedly. He ran over with Scorbunny close behind.

“You made it! I was starting to get worried,” Haechan teased lightly.

“I was taking my time, did you get ambushed by a child on your way here?” You asked as you remembered the strange incident.

“Oh… I completely forgot to tell you! The rule of the road is that if you make eye contact with another trainer, you need to battle them. Sometimes you can avoid them, but it helps your pokémon get stronger. You may even when some money from it,” Haechan explains.

“That’s sounds… illegal?” You said confusedly. Haechan just shrugged and pulled you over to a restaurant.

“That’s just how it is. Here sit down and relax. I’ll cover the meal this time, okay?” Haechan smiled and handed you a menu. The waitress came and quickly grabbed your order.

“So, while I was waiting for you, I talked to some of the locals to get information about Gym Leader Sehun,” Haechan began as you two waited for your food. Scorbunny and Sobble seemed to start a conversation on their own.

“His Leafeon, as stated by the professor, is his partner pokémon. From what I understand he also has Bellossom. Although they both pretty powerful, you might want to get some more practice with Sobble. Do you have another pokémon on your team?” Haechan asked curiously.

“I have a Nickit who laughed at me because I missed him the first time I threw the pokéball at him,” You sighed as you held up the ball with your Nickit in it.

“Wow, you got ambushed by a child and your Nickit laughed at you? You’re having a rough start, aren’t you?” Haechan shook his head as he took the Nickit in his hand.

“Listen Nickit, you picked a great trainer. I promise they’re very kind, so don’t give them a difficult time,” He scolded the Nickit gently before handing the pokéball back to you.

“We won’t challenge the gym until we’re sure you’re ready. I have a natural advantage with Scorbunny for this gym, but you have a natural disadvantage with Sobble,” Haechan explained. The waitress came over with your food and some little dishes for Scorbunny and Sobble. She informed both of you it the little meals for the pokémon are on the house. All four of you quickly began to eat, finally relaxing after a rough day.

#exo #pokemon #kim minseok #zhang yixing #Kim Junmyeon #byun baekhyun #kim jongdae #park chanyeol #do kyungsoo #kim jongin #oh sehun #nct haechan

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insomniac-jay · 3 years

Note

Feel Like Reiterating, but thanks for last night haha, I was feelin' real bad then, so yeah, thanks alot.

You’re welcome. I just wanted to make you feel better after you had a pretty rough vent

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spnreactions · 4 years

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15x19: Inherit the Earth

Alright guys.

It’s time.

The unofficial finale.

The season finale that ties up a lot of loose ends before we hit the official series finale.

Oh god I’m so scared.

But I’m also sooo excited.

AHHH!

Okay. Let’s just do this.

Oh. Hey Amara.

AHHH! My baby. :’( :’(

OPE! Looks like God’s book is gonna come into play.

GEE THANKS FOR SHOWING ME THAT AGAIN AHHH!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

“Now”

...f**k. This really is Infinity War...

My Mom: Oh look. It’s the pandemic.

...wow.

Everyone.

...

...who’s gonna ask it?

Which one of them is gonna ask about Cas?

I bet it’s gonna be Jack.

Awww Sam...this wasn’t your fault.

Yep. Called it.

:’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

The reactions to that oh my god. Dean really is trying too hard to be the strong one here, but Jensen is doing a really good job of playing the hurt and the pain subtly enough to know it’s there.

And Jack... :’( :’( :’( My poor baby. I didn’t expect anything less, but god it hurts... :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

AHHHH!! WHY DID WE HAVE TO LOSE CAS??!!

Sam’s face too. :’( :’( :’(

The way they’re both tearing up.

God...I hate it. :’( :’( :’( :’(

Sam’s trying. He’s so desperate.

JODY! NOOOOOOO!!!!! :’( :’( :’( :’(

THERE BETTER BE A WAY TO GET EVERYONE BACK!!

:’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

I kind of wanted a little more from that moment between Dean and Jack, but I guess I don’t know what else would happen. Dean is upset, and Jack is upset, and Dean’s just trying his best, but it’s hard for him too, so I guess that makes sense. God my poor boys. :’( :’( :’(

Wow. That shot.

UGGGGH! SCREW YOU CHUCK!!! (But also that zoom-out was really cool.)

...wow.

...ouch.... (I mean, he’s not wrong, but ouch.)

IT SURE LOOKS THAT WAY DOESN’T IT!

I thought he was gonna say “the kid” there oops lol. Saying “Jack” is better anyways.

MY POOR BABY AHHH!!! NOOO!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

OKAY WTF??!!!

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT??!! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY BABY??!!! :’( :’( :’(

Dean did you just...get a beer? (Oh who am I kidding? Of course he did.)

Sam no. Stop. This isn’t your fault. :’( :’(

Sam noooo. What you did was right.

Sam... :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

My Mom: SAM! Don’t yell at him!

God. You know it’s bad when Dean and Jack are the positive ones and Sam is the one giving up... :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Come on Sam. You guys are Winchesters. Winchesters never give up.

I really like the cinematography in this. There are so many panning shots and it’s really cool for the style and story of the episode and everything.

EWWWW!!! SCREW YOU!!!!

Ugh. Rob Benedict is so good at his acting as Chuck, but man, I really hate Chuck.

Wait, REALLY?! There has to be a catch here right? They wouldn’t just do that.

AWWW!! DEAN!!! :’( :’( <3 <3 <3 <3

...wow.

I guess they are giving up.

HEY!

UGH! COME ON CHUCK!!!

SCREW YOU!!!!

I mean, that was bound to happen.

BUT SCREW YOU!!!!

HEY!

Jack is NOT a lap dog, you jerk.

...that is SOOO not cool.

As if the Winchesters need any more eternal suffering and shame...Jesus Christ.

SCREW! YOU! CHUCK!!!

Ahh...this montage of all of them grieving. :’( :’( :’(

That was a really great shot of Jack, by the way. <3 <3

But also :’( :’( :’( :’(

Poor Dean, on the floor with his alcohol.... :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

...no you don’t.

...ope.

Jack’s...hearing something? Sensing something?

Ah. Sensing something.

HA!

HEY! PROMO LINE!!!

....wait. That’s a good point. I guess because he, like, is still a nephilim, right?

DOGGO!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

IT’S THE DOGGO FROM THE PROMO!!! <3 <3 <3

“Miracle.” <3 <3 <3

He’s just so happy to see somebody else alive oh my gosh. <3 <3

Also, I saw something before talking about the promo and saying that it would be really out of character for Dean to like a dog in this episode, but, like, really? I mean, what about Dog Dean Afternoon where he finally found an appreciation--even a love--for dogs? I think it makes perfect sense. Especially since he’s so desperate to just...have something to hold onto again, to have somebody to save. The dog makes perfect sense. <3

Awww!! SEE??!! IT GIVES HIM HOPE!!

HA! Dean OMG!! XD XD

Sam’s surprise is hilarious. XD XD

Oh Dean...

HA! DEAN I LOVE YOU!!

SEE?! THAT is what we call CHARACTER GROWTH PEOPLE!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

My mom said “good boy” to our dog at the same time Dean said “good boy” to their new dog lol.

AWWW!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

NO!!!

My Mom: SERIOUSLY?! NOT COOL!!

ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME CHUCK??!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW??!!!

THAT WAS SO UNNECESSARY CHUCK WTF??!!

JERK!!! YOU F***ING SUCK CHUCK!!!

THAT WAS JUST UNCOOL ON SO MANY LEVELS UGH!!!!

My Mom: That is messed up.

UGH!!

Stupid Chuck. Go die in a hole already.

...okay. Okay.

“I have no idea what we’re walking into.” To reiterate, what else is new?

I bet it’s Michael.

My Mom: They’re walking...very slowly. Me: Well, yeah. They’re being cautious. My Mom: But they need to hurry up. The suspense is killing me. (XD XD XD)

...okay I see her point.

Heeeey Michael.

...Jack looks...mad, for some reason.

Not gonna lie, I was 100% expecting to see wings there. Kind of disappointed that I didn’t get them.

HA! He would.

Awww...too bad. (Not gonna lie, though, my mom and I never really liked Adam. But! We do really like Jake Abel as Michael. He does a great job.)

UGH. Poor boys... :’( :’( :’(

“Amazingly”

...come again?

OH!

...welp.

That’s awkward.

“All caring” HA! I actually laughed out loud when he said that, because yeah no.

...you could almost say...he’s “Daddy’s blunt little instrument”.... (...and now I made myself cry ugh.)

Oh. THAT’S why Jack’s mad.

Oh thank god! Now we have another powerful being on our side!!

Oh hey! It’s that scene from the promo photos!

...yeah there’s no way it’s that easy.

That’d be nice.

But there’s no way.

Yep. Not that easy.

Welp...shoot. That would’ve been nice.

GUYS!!! IT’S THE SCENE!!! FROM THE PROMO PHOTOS!!

....awww...boys. :’( :’(

UMMM

Yeah no. I don’t buy it. It’s a trick.

OH MY GOD THE WAY HE JUST BOOKS IT AHHHH!!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE SAYING DEAN DOESN’T RECIPROCATE, LOOK AT THIS!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

There’s no way it’s really Cas.

But god, the way he runs to him. :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

It’s probably Chuck though.

WHOA!

UMMM!!

WELL!

THAT WASN’T WHO I WAS EXPECTING AT ALL!

But OKAY THEN!! I’M EXCITED!

I LOVE HIIM!!

WELCOME BACK MARK!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

My Mom: I LOVE HIM! So excited!! <3 <3 (Yeah we’re definitely related. XD)

Also!

Dean’s FACE when he saw that it was Luci. XD XD XD

Now THAT is a highlight of this episode. XD XD

Jensen you dork. XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3

Anyways.

HAHA I LOVE HIM!! XD <3 <3

“As you guys know” XD XD

OMG I LOVE HIM!! XD XD <3 <3 <3

I mean, yeah, I wouldn’t trust him either.

But also, I love him. XD <3

....??

Huh.

This is...interesting.

HA!

OH! I see what he’s doing!

New Death!

Smaaaart Luci!

...what if she hates them just as much as Billie?

...did Dean just hide behind Sam?

Oh no he crossed over okay lol. That makes a lot more sense. XD XD

OPE!

Frick.

LUCI OMG!! XD XD <3 <3

“And that...whatever that is.” XD XD

HA!

I like her. XD <3 <3

I love how she’s talking in the third person now like they’re children. XD XD

They’re just...a little surprised, okay? Don’t be too hard on them.

...uh oh.

I don’t trust that AT ALL, but okay...

My baby is monitoring Luci so closely I love him. <3

OOOF. This is gonna be rough.

“Mikey” XD XD <3 <3

HA!

The way Sam and Dean both react to the “humanity”. XD XD They were just like “excuse you?” XD

“Asshats”?? XD XD

“Of course I’m sure. I’m Death.” “You’ve been Death for an hour.” XD XD

...there’s a catch. There’s no way. That’s too easy.

...yep. There it is.

DANGAT LUCI!

But I liiiiked you.

Oh FRICK!

Yeah okay. That makes a LOT more sense.

...ouch.

FRICK!

Okay Jack! It’s up to you!

Yeah he would never, so shut your face Luci.

He says no.

HA! XD XD

...huh.

Well.

That was quick.

Is there another catch? Cause Luci wasn’t back for very long...

...why is Jack being so weird??

Like, I love my baby to death, and I definitely trust him, but he’s being soooo weird...

...a...a battle? Michael, chill. That was barely a scuffle.

Yeah, so instead he sent Lucifer to TRICK CALL DEAN WITH CAS’S VOICE!!! SO NOT COOL LUCI!!! SO! NOT! COOL!!!!

...you totally did don’t even.

God. All these angels with their daddy issues.

All these panning shots again. I love them.

Like, dude, the camera didn’t change at all. That was awesome. <3

...huh.

...again, too easy. There has to be a catch. There has to be.

But also, I really love how they did that, bouncing back in forth between them getting to the special place and Sam talking about the plan. Cool storytelling.

Summon something unstoppable to fight him...well that just sounds like another problem, doesn’t it??

My Mom: That’s a really pretty special place. (She’s not wrong.)

...I’m waiting for the catch.

I’m waiting very nervously for the catch.

My Mom: Whoa.

...it didn’t work??

...frick.

FRICK!!!

DANGAT!!!

SEIROUSLY??!!

UGH!!! FREAKING SCREW YOU MICHAEL!!!

WHATEVER!!! Jerk.

Ha!

Saw that coming.

UMMMM

UMMMMMMMMM

Okay that’s terrifying.

No likey.

My Mom: Ouch. Me: Yeah no kidding.

Bye Michael. You deserved it for betraying us.

LEAVE THEM ALONE!!

...ouch. That hurts, because THE SHOW IS OVER! :’( :’(

HA! YES SAM!

DANGAT!!

COME ON JACK!!

Jack is bound to pivotal in this somehow...

COME ON JACK!

HA!

Okay, I shouldn’t be laughing, but I wanna talk about this for a second and why I laughed. One of the reasons my dad stopped watching this show is because he hated that they kept falling into the trope of bringing the big bads down to a fist-fight so that the boys have a chance. But let me tell you: it makes perfect sense right here. Chuck has the high ground. He has all the power, and he is just reveling in it. He knows (or rather, thinks, because I have faith that they’ll get out of this somehow) that he has them, and that they’re his, and he wants to take the time to truly make them suffer. Killing them quickly is too easy. It ruins the fun for him. But this? This is toying with them. It’s exactly what he wants. And it’s perfect.

Come on boys! Stand your ground! You can do this!

...

:’( :’( :’(

OW!

My mom and I are both just cringing and turning away, because OW!

SCREW YOU CHUCK!

Come on boys. You can do this.

THEY WON’T!

OUR BOYS NEVER STAY DOWN!

YES BOYS!! YOU GOT THIS!!! <3 <3 <3

THEY JUST KEEP TAKING IT!! THEY KEEP GETTING BACK UP!!! I LOVE THEM!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THEY WON’T EVER GIVE UP YOU JERK!!

OH MY GOD!!! THAT SHOT!!! SAM HELPING DEAN UP!! THEM HELPING EACH OTHER STAND!!! THAT is a BEAUTIFUL MOMENT PEOPLE!!! OH MY GOD!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

They’re SMILING!!! I LOVE IT!!!

JACK!!! IT’S JACK!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

YES BABY!!! GET HIM!!!!

“Hey Jack” THE WAY HE SAYS THAT ALL CAUTIOUS HA!! I LOVE IT!!!

YOU BETTER BE SCARED!

DUDE!!!!!

DUDE DUDE DUDE!!!!

HE IS POWERED UP!!!!

THAT’S MY BABY!!!!

YES!!!!

YES BABY!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THAT’S MY BOY!!!! <3 <3 <3

OH MY GOD YES!!!

THAT! WAS! AWESOME!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I don’t even know how, but WOW!!! THAT WAS SO COOL!!!!

HECK YEAH WE DID!!

...wait...what?

It’s...it’s empty? Cause...only Death can read it, right?

YES BOYS!!!

OH MY GOD YES!!!!

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!

HA! I LOVE IT!!!

I LOVE THE WAY THEY’RE DOING THIS OH MY GOD!!!!

THIS IS OUR BOYS!!!

OH!!

THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!!!!

Of COURSE Sam and Dean knew!! Because they WOULD KNOW!!!

DUDE!!! THAT IS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!!

OH MY GOD YES!!!!

THIS IS SO AWESOME!!! THESE BOYS!!! MY BABY!!! OH MY GOD!!! I LOVE IT!!!

My Mom: JACK!!! <3 <3 <3 This! Is! Awesome!

THAT is a Winchester ending. Like no other. <3 <3 <3 <3

HA! SCREW YOU YOU JERK!!

They are 100% going to let him live.

Because he wants to die.

So they’re not gonna let him.

HA!! I KNEW IT!!

THAT’S OUR BOYS!!!

THAT! IS SO PERFECT!!

POETIC JUSTICE PEOPLE!!

OH MY GOD!!!

GUYS!!!

“That’s not who I am.”

After Chuck just called him the ultimate killer, he knows he isn’t.

BECAUSE OF CAS!!

GUYS!!!

HE TOOK CAS’S WORDS TO HEART OH MY GOD!!!

YES!!!

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!

THAT IS THE BEST THING EVER!!! THANK YOU CAS!!!

CHARACTER!! GROWTH!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“It’s not his power anymore.” YAAAAAS BABY!!! <3 <3

JACK REALLY IS OUR NEW GOD AHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

HA!

THAT is the BEST!!!

YES!!!

THAT is EXACTLY what you deserve, Chuck!

THIS! IS! PERFECT!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

BEAUTIFUL RESOLUTION SPN!!! SO GOOD!!!!

Oh man, that music. The camera work. EVERYTHING!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

HE’S SO DESPERATE OH MY GOD YES!!!!

YOU DESERVE IT CHUCK!!! YOU DESERVE IT YOU JERK!!!

YES BOYS!!! I’M SO PROUD!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Guys OH MY GOD!!

There are 15 minutes left still ahhhh I need this commercial to end so I can see the final resolution of this episode.

WE BAAAAACK!!

So...Jack can fix all of this now, right??

HIS LITTLE SMILE OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

HE DIIIIID IT!!!!

MY BABY!!! I’M SO PROUD!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

HIS LITTLE SMILE OH MY GOD I’M CRYING!!! :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) <3 <3 <3 <3

AND THIS SONG!! IT’S SO PERFECT FOR THIS SCENE!!

THE DOGGO!!! <3 <3 <3

JACK’S EXTRA LITTLE SMILE FOR THE DOGGO OMG!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

safkl;jdsklfsajd THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

Awww Dean! <3

Awww....

...he isn’t, is he?

... :(

AWWW!!!

“I’m me.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) :’)

JUST LIKE WHAT HE SAID IN JIM’S GEMS!!

OH MY GOD AHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I’M CRYING OH MY GODDDDDD!!! :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

HE’S SO WISE AHHH!! I LOVE HIM!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

FAKJLA:DJKFD OH MY GOD AHHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“I learned from you...and my mother...and Castiel..that when people have to be their best, they can be.” YEAH HI THAT’S IT!!! I’M DONE!!! I’M LOST!! ALL THE TEARS!!!

“And that’s what to believe in.” <3 <3 <3 <3

THIS IS SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL OMG!!! THIS IS SUCH A PERFECT ENDING FOR MY BABY I’M SO PROUD AHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

AND THIS IS SUCH A BITTERSWEET GOODBYE, but MAN, I LOVE IT!!!

BECAUSE IT ISN’T REALLY GOODBYE!!

BECAUSE HE’LL ALWAYS BE THERE!!!

AND HE KNOWS HOW TO PROTECT THE WORLD BECAUSE OF HIS DADS (AND KELLY)!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

OH MY GOD I’M CRYING ALL OF THE HAPPY TEARS RIGHT NOW THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

My Mom: OMG THIS IS SO GOOD!! <3 <3

HE JUST TOUCHED HIS HEART I’M GONNA LOSE MY SH** OH MY GODDDDDD!!! :’) :’) :’) <3 <3 <3 <3

HIS LITTLE GOODBYE!!! JUST LIKE HIS LITTLE HELLO!!! THIS IS SO PERFECT OH MY FREAKING GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“See ya Jack.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

OMG THIS SHOT WAS IN THE “Carry On” PROMO!!!

“To everyone that we lost along the way.” :’( :’( :’( :’) :’) :’) <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I’M CRYING OH MY GOD THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!

THEY’RE FINALLY FREE!!!

THEY’RE FINALLY FREE!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THAT LITTLE WAY DEAN GRABS SAM BEFORE THEY WALK OFF AHHHH!!! <3 <3 <3

THEIR NAMES ARE ON THE TABLE HOLY FRICK!!!

CAS AND JACK’S NAMES ARE ON THE TABLE GUYS I JUST LOST ALL FUNCTIONALITY OH MY GOD!!!!! :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THEY’RE DRIVING OFF!!! <3 <3 <3

OH MY GOD WHAT??!!

THEY’RE ACTUALLY. MONTAGING US RIGHT NOW HOLY FRICK!!!

GUYS THIS FEELS SO FINAL WHAT COULD NEXT WEEK EVEN BRING OH MY GODDDD!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THIS SONG TOO!!! GUYS OH MY GOD MY TEARS ARE JUST FALLING EVEN MORE!!! :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) :’) <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THEY WERE SO LITTLE OH MY GOD!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

JESS!!

BELA!

DEATH!

BECKY!

DONNA!

ALL OF THESE OLD CHARACTERS!!!! AHHHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

CHARLIE!!

KEVIN!!!

THE WAY THEY’RE DOING THIS OH MY GOD I’M LOSING MY MIND!!!

KELLY!!

THE DRIVING SCENE!!!!

ALL OF THESE SCENES OH MY GOD MY MOM AND I ARE JUST FULL-ON SOBBING RIGHT NOW!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

BOBBY!!

PAMELA!!

ELLEN!!!

CAS AND DEAN!! <3 <3 <3

JODY!

RUFUS!

GARTH!

MISSOURI!

GABRIEL!

ROWENA!

EILEEN!

THIS ROLE CALL!!! GUYS!!! THIS WAS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING AT ALL OMG THIS FEELS SO FINAL!!!!

JO!

LUCI!

KETCH!

LEBANON!! <3 <3 <3

THAT BULL SCENE!!

FAN FICTION!!! <3 <3 <3

MEG!

CROWLEY!

MICK!!

BELPHEGOR!!

WAYWARD SISTERS!! <3 <3 <3

TEAM FREE WILL 2.0!!! THEIR LAST SCENES OF THE MONTAGE WERE OF TEAM FREE WILL 2.0!!! I LOVE IT!!!

AND THAT ENDING SCENE!!! THE IMPALA!!!

“We got work to do.”

GUYS!!! GUYS!!! GUYS!!!

COULD THAT HAVE BEEN ANY BETTER OH MY GOD!!!

I LOVED IT!!!

I LOVED IT I LOVED IT I LOVED IT!!!

GUYS I MORE OR LESS CAN JUST JUMP RIGHT INTO THIS BECAUSE I’M ACTUALLY HAPPY CRYING NOT EVEN SAD CRYING OMG!!!

I! LOVED! THIS! EPISODE!!

THIS! WAS! SO! GOOD!! IT WAS PERFECT!! I HONESTLY DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW NEXT WEEK IS GONNA LOOK NOW!! That felt SOOO final, and I honestly wasn’t expecting that!

I mean, I knew that this episode was intended to be the season finale, with next week being the series finale, but guys...that felt so final oh my god. And it was SO! GOOD!!! I FREAKING LOVED IT!!

So, as I often do, I scrolled through Tumblr and other various social media posts to see what people thought, and I was so surprised to see that so many people didn’t like it! While I admit that the episode had a couple little flaws, and while there are still a couple of pieces missing, guys...there’s still one episode left. They can tie up the final loose ends (Cas and Eileen being the two big ones there) then.

And for a “season finale”?? This. Was. BEAUTIFUL!! The way they tied up Chuck’s storyline was SUCH a Winchester thing, and it was beautiful. And Jack?? BECOMING THE NEW GOD AFTER ALL?! PERFECT! And the way they said goodbye?? STELLAR!!

AND THEN THE MONTAGE??!! You can’t POSSIBLY tell me that that wasn’t the BEST THING EVER and didn’t make you cry and feel so happy and content!!! BECAUSE IT WAS PERFECT!!

There was SOOO much about this episode to LOVE, and so much to break down, so the rest of this analysis is gonna be so freaking long, but gosh darnat, I’m ready.

Okay, I’ll start out with the (very few) negatives so I can end with the amazing positives, though, frankly, I’m ‘bout to combat most of those negatives, because guys, this was too perfect. Don’t even with me.

So, actually, when I’m focusing just on my own opinion here, the only, only thing that I didn’t really like about the episode was that they randomly brought back Lucifer only to kill him right away again. I get why they did it, but it’s not my favorite plot point. I had the same problem when they did it with Gabriel back in Season 13. If you’re not actually gonna keep them, then don’t bother bringing them back. Find something else.

That said, I was really happy to see Lucifer, and it made me so happy to see Mark Pellegrino on the screen again. So, in the end, it was worth it, especially with EVERYTHING ELSE they did in return! <3 <3

Alright. Now I want to address my thoughts on some of the things other people didn’t like about the episode.

First of all, yes, there was not a ton of talk about Cas’s death. But here’s the thing: we didn’t need it. Character-wise, and story-wise, a ton of talk about it wouldn’t make sense. Dean is emotionally stunted. He isn’t going to outwardly react here. In fact, it was pretty obvious that he was trying to be the strong one, but the fact that he couldn’t even try to comfort Jack other than an “I’m sorry” just proves how much he was really struggling inside. Plus, his binge-drinking later just furthers that. Ever heard of show not tell? We don’t need to sit there and listen to them talk about Cas’s death, because we can see how much it’s affecting them--especially Dean and Jack.

Jack is heartbroken. From the second Dean tells him, we see how much he’s hurting, and it doesn’t go away--not even at the end. Even when he says goodbye, and everyone’s (theoretically) happy, the second he says Cas’s name, his voice breaks a little (more on that ending later). It’s so sad, but so beautiful.

And Dean? I mean, come on people. The drinking and everything about his face is our first sign. Plus, when he and Sam went to Chuck to make a deal, Dean specifically emphasized that he needed Cas back in order for this deal to go off--and the emotion in his voice when he said it was beautiful. Plus, on top of all of that, there was that scene. You know, the one where he thinks it’s Cas, when there is no way it could be Cas, but he’s so desperate for it to be Cas that he loses all sense of logic and books it up the stairs?? THAT SCENE? Yeah. I’d say he’s pretty heartbroken, and lost, and confused without Cas. PLUS, he actually listened to every word that Cas said to him. Because, after Chuck tried to tell him that all he was was a killer? HE! SAID! NO! And that was because of Cas.

And THEN, on top of all of that, THEY PUT CASTIEL ON THE TABLE!! (Side note: I’m pretty sure the fandom has collectively decided that the only reason it said “Castiel” is because the writers didn’t want to end on a “Cas” vs “Cass” debate, and I freaking love that, because I agree. XD) There would’ve been no better way to honor his death without bringing him back (more on that later). I! FREAKING! LOVED! IT! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Alright. Now, let’s break down that ending, positives, negatives, and everything in between.

Let me start by saying--and I cannot say this enough--I LOVED this ending. LOVED! IT! I thought it was a perfect end for Chuck, for Jack, for the boys--everyone. It was so beautiful and well-thought out, and the way they portrayed it was extra special. I thought it was amazing.

Now, before I talk about what I loved about that ending, let me address the haters. And, be warned, I know I’m gonna get a little defensive here, but just remember: all of you are entitled to your opinions, and that’s totally fine. These are just my own thoughts--even if some of them might come off a little harsh--because I really do appreciate what the show did with this episode, whether other people do or not. And yes, I know Bucklemming wrote it, and they’re nobody’s favorite, but honestly, I thought they did really well with this one. It was AWESOME.

For starters, we don’t know that the boys didn’t check in on all of their friends. We really can’t assume that. We went from the boys being in the middle of whatever town they were in (there were so many locations...I kind of lost track of where they ended up at the end...was it still Minnesota?) to them being in the Bunker. We have no idea what happened on the ride back, and my guess is probably that they did exactly that--checked in on everyone. Sam probably called Jody and Donna and Bobby and Charlie and all of them to make sure they were back and okay, because you’re right. They would. And they probably did. But the thing is, we didn’t need to see that, because we can assume that. Jack brought everybody back. Why do we have any reason to think that the boys’ closest friends and family wouldn’t be part of that list? They disappeared, and Jack brought back the people that disappeared. It makes sense to me.

Second of all, Cas. Look, Destielers. I ship it too, okay? I do. How much I ship it depends on the day, but I do ship it. And I’m gonna say it, and you’re all going to hate me, but I am okay that Dean didn’t immediately ask Jack to bring Cas back because I think it works. I’m gonna be honest--I don’t think Cas is coming back. At least, not in the way everyone wants him to, and I think that’s good. I mean, the whole point of that scene was that Cas was sacrificing himself so Dean could live a life. It’s exactly what Jack was gonna do for Sam and Dean in 15x17, but the difference is that Jack was doing it out of guilt (and love, but mostly guilt). Cas was doing it completely and utterly out love. Sacrificing himself in the way he did led to everything that happened in this episode. It meant Sam and Dean being together to make the plan that let Jack become God. It meant letting the rest of his family live so that they could save the world. And guys...that sacrifice is amazing. Put the Destiel in it, take the Destiel out of it, do whatever, but that is exactly what Cas’s character has always been about. He’s been about protecting humanity and, especially, protecting Dean. And he did exactly that. I know I’m talking a lot about 15x18 right now, but I swear it connects.

The thing is, if Jack brings Cas back, what does that do? I mean, yes, Dean would get him back, but...Jack isn’t even coming home. He’s God now. He’s protecting the world. And...as sad as it is, he doesn’t need his dads. They taught him so much, and now he’s able to be who is because of that. And Sam and Dean? They’re okay. They’re able to live their lives now. And guys, please don’t hate me, but Cas...doesn’t need to be in the story. His sacrifice was what brought them to where they are, and that is a beautiful thing. And I think Sam and Dean and Jack know that too. I mean, where do you think the “to everyone that we lost along the way” came from?

Plus, in a much more real sense, think about this. The Empty’s mad at Cas, and the Empty is pretty dang powerful. What happens if Jack brings him back? Don’t you think that would open up a whole new world of problems? Wouldn’t that just put the Empty on our tail again? Yes, the Empty can’t come to Earth, but honestly, I’d be more bothered if they just pulled him back and didn’t address the problems that could cause from the Empty’s perspective.

Guys. I know it sucks. I miss him too. But story-wise, it actually makes sense, whether we want to believe it or not. And again: we still have one episode left. They’re not just gonna leave it at that. I have faith that Cas is going to come back in some form--maybe not back back, per se, but probably as a memory or, as I mentioned before, maybe even in Dean’s Heaven. Whatever it is, Cas is still going to play a part in those final scenes, because our boys wouldn’t be who they are without him. And the show isn’t going to let him be forgotten. No one is.

Lastly, those of you who are complaining about it being a bronlies ending...just...stop. XD

Look. I love Team Free Will. I love Team Free Will 2.0. My favorite character is Jack. I am all for the expansive Winchester family. I love our new characters and our new family.

But guys...the core of this show still is and always will be the Winchester brothers. Yes, their family got bigger. And yeah, that’s the most special thing ever. But their relationship will always, always be what drives this show. It’s what this show’s been about since Day 1, and even with their extended family, it’s still what this show has always been about--two brothers, saving people and hunting things together. So, yeah, the ending’s gonna be about the bros. Even next week, the ending is probably gonna be the bros. Because that’s what this show is. And it’s not like they forgot about their family. Guys, their names were ON THE TABLE. That right there proves how much of a family they all were. But in the end, it’s still always Sam and Dean. Always. And that’s how it should be. I”m not saying don’t include Cas and Jack. I’m not saying don’t include all of the other characters. For gosh sake, please, include all of the other characters. WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT MONTAGE WAS FOR?! But, in the end, the story only wraps when Sam and Dean’s story wraps, because that’s what this story is. And, to reiterate, it isn’t actually over. So. That’s what I have to say to that.

Now that I have gotten all of that out of the way (holy frick I can’t believe I have more to say--can you imagine how long this is gonna be next week??), let me break down, from my perspective, how BEAUTIFUL that ending was. Piece. By. Piece.

That entire twist was EPIC. That was the most Winchester ending to ever Winchester. The convolution. The fact that Sam and Dean knew about Jack, and knew about Michael, and used all of it to their advantage was so unbelievably THEM, and I loved it. And on top of that, the fact that Jack wound up being the pivotal turning point in that whole fight was BEAUTIFUL. Chuck’s clear panic and desperation and Jack just LAYING HIM! AMAZING!

Those last lines between Sam and Dean and Chuck were SO. BEAUTIFULLY. WRITTEN. Chuck wanted a poetic ending--his characters being stronger than him and killing him in the end. But no. Because Sam and Dean and Jack are better than that. And the fact that Dean KNEW THAT, BECAUSE OF CAS?! “That’s not who I am.” Beautiful. And THEN! THIS:

“Then I think it’s the ending where you’re just like us. And like all the other humans you forgot about.”

“It’s the ending where you grow old, you get sick, and you just die.”

“And no one cares. And no one remembers you. You’re just...forgotten.”

Because GUYS!

THAT. IS. PERFECT.

Not only is that the best justice that Chuck could have possibly received after all of the crap he’s pulled, but think about that last line for a minute. “No one cares. No one remembers you. You’re just forgotten.”

That is the EXACT OPPOSITE of the legacy Sam and Dean will be leaving behind. It’s the exact opposite of the legacy of this show and its characters, because none of them will ever be forgotten. They think they will, but they won’t. That line says so much about this show, and that is absolutely amazing.

And then, after all of that, everyone comes back because of Sam and Dean and Jack and what they did, and that just furthers that line of legacy even more.

And oh my gosh. Jack. That proud little smile. The amount of wisdom that he has at freaking three years old--all because of his dads. I mean, let’s just think about that for a second. Jack was born with the entire world convinced that he was going to destroy it. But because of two salty hunters and a fallen angel, he became the new protector of everyone and everything, and he knows how to do it right. BECAUSE OF THEM. He knows how to care, how to treat people, and how to make the world a better place. All. Because. Of. Them.

And yeah, he didn’t go back home, and it hurts a little bit, knowing that the little family isn’t together anymore. But Jack’s exactly right--they are together, and they always will be. Because they’ll always be in each other’s hearts. Jack won’t ever be far, and Cas will always be there in spirit. Always.

And Sam and Dean? They’re gonna have each other until the day they die, just as they should.

And to end all of that with the most beautiful freaking montage I have ever seen. Guys, I thought the Swan Song montage was the best thing in the world. But that? That left it completely behind. “To everyone that we lost along the way.” And, to all the people who are still in our hearts. To show all those characters, to show all those moments, and to show how they all impacted our boys...And then to end it with the boys driving off together towards their new future? Their free future? It. Was. Perfect.

And, I will say this. Was everything completely wrapped up? No. Was it pretty dang close? Heck yeah. If this had been the official ending, I would’ve been a little disappointed, but it would’ve worked. Obviously, there are definitely a few key character and emotional pieces missing, but that’s why we have next week--one more to try to tie up our last little bits of emotion, and really truly finish out the story. But in all honesty, that was a BEAUTIFUL ending for the season, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better for this episode.

In the beginning of Season 15, I started getting nervous. I started wondering: what if the ending sucks? I mean, I can name several shows that went on for so long with so many great things and then had a terrible ending that ruined it for fans. I was worried it would happen to Supernatural too.

But after seeing that semi-ending--after seeing their season finale--I have total faith in them, as I should’ve from the beginning. I know that there’s no way that this ending could be bad. Not when they just delivered that to us. Between the storytelling, the acting, the cinematography, the editing, the music--all of it. It was such a BEAUTIFUL episode, and honestly, it’s already in my top ten.

Say what you want about Bucklemming. Say what you want about the lack of Destiel. Say what you want about this episode. But to me, this episode was beautiful, and it couldn’t have been a more perfect way to end the Season 15 storyline.

I am so, so excited to see what they give us next week. It’s going to be amazing.

My Rating: 30/10

P.S. I...want to react to the 15x20 promo, but...there isn’t really much to react to, because they’re really trying to keep us from knowing what’s gonna happen I guess. So, I’m gonna wait and see if anymore promotional material comes out and then do it all at once.

#spn spoilers #15x19 #spn 15x19 #spn season 15 #inherit the earth #supernatural #spoilers #episode reactions #my reactions #my thoughts #my review #season finale #the end of the end #one episode left #spn reactions

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honeymoonjin · 4 years

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day 10

Okay, so I had no idea this chapter was out. (Sorry for the late review!) I had anticipated for it to come out early this coming week for some reason so I wasn’t even aware that it had dropped until I started seeing a lot of the asks refer to events that I don’t recall happening in the previous chapters. So this was a very pleasant surprise. And I feel as though “surprises” were kind of the theme for this chapter.

In true “Gentlemen” fashion, we shall start with Jin. 😉 Whilst reading Jin’s section, I was struck by an odd feeling: the warm fuzzies. Despite all of the sexy times that have been happening in the villa, I have always felt as though the kiss scenes have always been the most intimate moments between the characters because the notion is so “romantic” in nature. The moment when our lady realizes how close she and Jin were despite being half clothed reiterated this to me, making the entire moment when Hoseok interrupt them (and then y/n’s subsequent verbal slip up) all the more impactful. The whole notion of “it hurt because it mattered” never felt more real than when she realized that that connection that Jin felt whilst being with her resonated far deeper than she had anticipated made the “scene” much more heartbreaking. I love that y/n is not cookie-cutter perfect, by the way. I like that she makes mistakes, that despite no intention to harm, sometimes she sticks her foot in her mouth. It makes her super flipping relatable and I really really want to thank you for weaving that into the story! There is something to be said about how mature Jin handled the whole situation too. Like it was blatant that he was effected by what she said but he tried to keep a level head about it. Knowing him, I’m surprised he didn’t react more irrationally. I know that he’s most likely trying to be “the voice of reason” but I can’t help but feel as our lady felt: “What if he’s just pretending to save face and make things less awkward?” Something to ruminate on whilst I am surprised once again during the breakfast scene.

How is it that all of this has become so normal? That ease of transition feels so effortless and I am left with the biggest smile on my face. And yet, there is this invisible veil of tension. Starting right from when things left off awkwardly with Jin to Yoongi dressing differently and acting odd. I felt like there was this undercurrent of unease which I think worked in Yoongi’s favor because it set the “mood” for his scene perfectly! Not only did the mysterious and strange actions from him add to the intrigue but when the topic of her limits and the reminder of her safe word came up, I must admit that all of it left me quite anxious. Mainly because I didn’t know what to expect. And when the scene moved outside, I was even more confused�� and yet still intrigued. Then when the scene started in earnest, I was blown away! It was raw and visceral and primal! There was something so savage in the way he ravished her, in the setting, in the mood that it set for the entirety of their intercourse, as if the scene had been laced with a live wire! The adrenaline fueled that feral intensity between Yoongi and our lady and I couldn’t help but feel my heart skip a beat when he told her to run. And yet, even when things got really rough, I never once felt like she was in danger; the way you wrote it left me feeling that our lady was completely safe and that Yoongi was in complete control of his actions which just left the scene to be so intense in the hottest way! It was sexy af and I think it might be the hottest scene you’ve written for this series. I don’t know if it’s because it’s Yoongi but the way you write him and that entire scene (aftercare included!!) made this entire chapter so amazing! From the specific adjectives you chose to associate with him and the very intentional imagery that you used for Yoongi, to the way the scene played out - *pterodactyl screech* 😍 It was so flipping good!! It was executed so well, I have to commend you for how well thought out the atmosphere was for this scene. The only other scene that came even close to affecting me the way Yoongi’s scene did would probably be Taehyung’s first scene with our lady. Just… wow! I honestly could spend all night praising how amazing this scene with Yoongi was. Just… 10/10. Perfection! 🤩

So many lovely, magical surprises in this chapter (including how I swooned hard when Yoongi comforted our lady about Jin. Just the fact that she felt comfortable enough to open up to him about it made my heart just UwU hard!) What wasn’t surprising was how spectacular this entry was. As always, you never cease to amaze me with your innovative way of making these prompts so interesting and even putting members into roles they may or not realize they would fit into always leave me in awe of your literary prowess. Thank you so much for your continued hard work. I can’t wait to see what you have in store for us in the coming entry! 💜 Jan

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don’t apologise !! it was a pretty out-of-nowhere release, so i’m not surprised if it went off the radar for a lot of readers haha

and also THANK YOU ! you’re so right when you say that the kisses are some of the most intimate moments. i feel like when the initial premise is sex, sex is sort of removed as the peak of intimacy for our characters, leaving them to seek those tender moments in kisses, hand-holding, moments of privacy away from the cameras, things like this.

as much as i joke about yn having dumb bitch syndrome bc i need some soft angst and tension and can’t bear to have the guys fuck up, i think for me the “scene” slip, and the scene itself in general are important for us to see that already, after less than a fortnight the people in the house are starting to develop their own perspectives on what exactly is going on and the relationships forming, and that these perspectives don’t always perfectly overlap.

jin definitely puts a lot of importance in wanting to be the impartial party that anyone can come to, and so i think for him feelings that threaten that objectivity are something that he struggles with a lot, and perhaps yn’s comment was a reality check for him on how he’s beginning to lose that impartiality. we’ll see more on that later though, jin did promise yn a talk !

and oh my goodness ! i was wondering how you’d find the yoongi scene and i’m so surprised that you think it’s the hottest ! it’s a lot of fun reading about how it got to you 0.0 as much as i’m partial to yoongi’s blend of intense-then laidback-then comforting-then intense again, i’ll definitely challenge myself to top my personal best ;)

thanks so much for all your kind words as usual, i got so excited when i saw the notif for your submission !!! but alas i can’t take credit for assigning prompts, i use a random generator for that (though in this week, some of the anons i got suggesting potential prompts were so good that i couldn’t help myself and changed one up a bit o.o)

i’m so happy you enjoyed, and i’ll look forward to hearing your thoughts again in the future xxxx

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thescreamsleuths · 4 years

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Sleuthing the Sleuths: Until the Butter End

Check out our brief chat below as we discuss our last session, Until the Butter End!

Carp A DM: How was it for your characters going from something like palm reading to such an intense battle only like 5 minutes later?

Dog Mom: It was like whiplash haha. Faylen didn’t even have her armor on. But It did get her thinking about letting her guard down, and never doing that again.

Raging and Confused: Well if you remember, Brinne/Player Me were on edge the whole time... I didn’t trust the happy situation and I felt like it was a perfect opportunity to individuals with... bad motives to hurt a lot of innocent bystanders. Did I think the attack was going to be based on food? No

Carp A DM: Yeah that’s true, Brinne had not let her guard down the whole time. When did you guys realize that the battle would not be a piece of cake (pun intended)? How is everyone doing in the aftermath of the battle?

Dog Mom: I realized how hard it would be when it was healing itself and I couldn’t even get close enough to those down to cast anything more than healing word. Faylen is feeling... okay. I’m not sure she’s had enough time to think about her reaction to the whole experience— she went right into soldier mode when the authorities showed up.

Raging and Confused: Yeah, it was real rough when I realized that any damage I was taking was also being dealt to Baelsar and Fay when they were being held by the thing... and yeah, post battle there hasn’t been a lot of time to even think about what happened, which is pretty obvious in that I didn’t even realize Baelsar wasn’t with us in the room

Carp A Dm: Yeah, it was an incredibly rough time for our melee combatants. After being nearly wiped out by dessert, do your characters still feel ready to willingly join the war going on in the Stiffpeak Mountains?

Dog Mom: Faylen was always only semi-ready. She never thought they were going to end the war and tried to reiterate that to her team. She really just wants to check on her family, but it’s not an urgent thing either.

Raging and Confused: I think Brinne still feels ready to go off and fight, but she’s more worried than ever now about the rest of the party...

Carp A DM: Deciding what you guys want to do next is definitely going to be a whole group decision. Backing up to before the battle, you guys were presented with four different manors to visit: one of stone, one with a bee on it’s crest, one familiar to you, and one very odd. Did your characters want to explore the others?

Always Be Thievin’: Absolutely. Baelsar first and foremost wanted to rummage around Edson's place, but that didn't pan out well. He would've done so in the other manors if given the opportunity, but he did agree that they'd only spend a little bit of their day there so they could travel north with the rest of their day

Hi, it’s Kathra: Kathy is still ready to go north to fight the war. Though she believes it’ll be more through negotiations and/other military tactics (such as covertly taking out the general of the orcs) The battle was rough with people going down but while Kathy is mindful of what happened she also really believes in our team. And she really believes that we can make a difference. She’s feeling more optimistic, especially after the group tension from a couple days ago.

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pynkhues · 4 years

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I really hate Dean's high and mighty speech toward Gayle (I mean she def squicks me out but god why is this a DEAN storyline, he's seemingly not learning anything about his own previous behavior, and the plot just keeps rewarding him???like yay have a "go me" moment standing up to your boss) as if he didnt sleep with his secretary and grant her benefits b/c of their relationship. Also why is the show pretending he's a good salesman? We had 2 seasons telling us he wasn't.

Oof, yeah, anon, I have a lot of capital-T Thoughts on that scene with Dean and Gayle that I’m still processing to be honest. I didn’t like it though, and unless all of this culminates in Dean and Gayle just like - - taking each other out, both personally and professionally, I don’t see myself ever being particularly on board with that storyline unfortunately.

This’ll be a very controversial statement, I’m sure, haha, but I do kind of contest that Dean isn’t a good salesman? I think what s1 and s2 showed us was that where Dean failed was as a businessman, not as a salesman. With the right product (and the right customer), he could move it - we saw that in a few episodes across s1, but particularly with Dean at the other dealership in 2.12. Dean can sell budget cars, because he’s a budget sort of guy, and he sells cars best when somebody else is telling him exactly which car he’s selling and who he’s selling it to (hell, he can even jack up the price, like he did in that episode).

The issue with the corvette in s2 for instance wasn’t necessarilly with Dean as a salesman - after all, Rio told us explicitly - nobody would buy that car - the issue was with Dean as a businessman. In other words, Dean made a terrible business decision by choosing to stock it in the first place, made another bad one by refusing to ditch it when the business hit it’s eight-billionth rough patch, and by refusing to listen to advice that contradicted his own ideas.

Even beyond the ‘vette, Dean’s issues and incompetencies are mostly as a businessman, not as a salesman. He used his power to exploit his female employees, he spent money on enormous, blow-up gorillas and embarrassing ads, and he chose to stock inventory that didn’t match his client base (in that - not only the corvette, but the minivans, which are designed for people like his wife, who, errrrr, Dean’s more than a little out of touch with to say the least, and doesn’t respect enough to court as a business demographic).

Give Dean a product, targets, but a lack of bottomline accountability, I actually think he’d probably be a pretty good salesman. He’s affable, can certainly relate on the fly to other men, researches the product he’s selling (just look at all the research he’s done on the hot tubs this season!) and was, at some point, as Judith told us ‘considered management material’.

He’s just - - not management material though, so I guess the product Dean’s best at selling is Dean which - - honestly, kind of checks out.

But hey, that product’s a faulty one, because Dean doesn’t understand business, and he’s too self-centred to serve anything that isn’t himself. Which is probably in no small part because he was privileged enough to have his father’s business given to him, and that he’s worn that entitlement like a bedazzled cape for three seasons now.

Which is why I think that conversation with Gayle has me pausing.

I guess I’m going to have to completely contradict myself in this post, because I think I have processed some of my thoughts on all of this, haha.

In this episode, Dean’s issue, as established from the first conversation with Eric is that Gayle’s just helped Jeff get promoted to regional manager in Vegas - a position actually later seemingly affirmed to be above Gayle’s role at their store.

Which - - makes sense to me, actually, for reasons I’ll come to shortly, but Dean’s argument with her later in the episode very quickly veers from understandable frustration over Gayle not letting him actually do his job and sell hot tubs, to quickly aligning himself as deserving of Jeff’s promotion. He says it in the fight with Gayle - he’ll become regional management and give Eric her job (despite the fact that Eric is infinitely more entitled to the regional position than Dean), and then reiterates it at the tail end of the episode by saying to Beth they should move to Vegas, further projecting himself onto Jeff’s advancement, instead of focusing on his own.

Dean is rapidly lost again into his own ego - a creative choice I think is entirely valid and actually really interesting and in-character! - except that’s not how it’s framed tonally - which is where the bulk of the issue is. Like you said pretty perfectly - it’s framed as a ‘go me, standing up to the boss’ moment, when it’s actually Dean once again rejecting opportunity for growth, regressing into his own sense of entitlement, and delusions of grandeur. If the show wanted us to root for Dean, the stakes should’ve been about him getting out from under Gayle’s thumb to be able to do the job he was hired for, and making that indicative of his humbling and his genuine desire to start again professionally - not project instant advancement in a way that ‘put Gayle in her place’.

And look. I actually do think the show is trying to say something about how the patriarchy / fact that we live in a society that inherently undervalues and mistrusts women means that it’s easier for someone like Dean - a straight, white, middle-class family man - to push back on these sorts of exploitations, particularly against someone like Gayle, who’s using her middle management position to engage as a predator and abuse her power. She both gains power because people don’t typically see women as predators, while some absolutely are, while also trapping herself in this lie of ‘progress’. She’s an award-winning salesperson, and she can get the men she exploits beneath her promoted, but not rise the ranks herself.

It’s a compelling storyline, and I love Good Girls! As you all know, haha, but I ….don’t think it’s a storyline they’re doing justice unfortunately.

#dean boland #gayle #dean x gayle #gg 3.07 #gg spoilers #welcome to my ama #Anonymous

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vios-rockland-corner · 5 years

Photo

My Rockland OC Sasha Holmes.

I was in another small drawing mood and wanted a tiny break from writing another Zeitgeist thought post. Tried a new position again, but didn’t really feel like drawing full body or coloring it this time. I also drew her without her headband this time so I can get comfortable with the fact that it’s not something constantly glued to her. She wears it a lot though because she likes using it to keep her bangs out of her face. I just put her in a tank top/pyjamas to switch things up too.

I drew this because of my self-made rule, “I can’t talk about Sasha unless I draw something for her too.” I actually came up with a possible backstory for her, and that’s really what I wanted to spend my time writing about anyway so I don’t forget it.

It’s not really important for anyone else though, and it could very well get scrapped later. So I’ll just place it below to save space (it’s stupid long for personal reference only).

Why I have Sasha

I’m just reiterating here. I don’t really insert myself in these stories, and I don’t like disrupting the canon either. Sasha’s going to be more like an NPC in the Rockland universe that is capable of OBSERVING certain events and characters, but will probably never end up interacting with any of them directly. That’s probably for the best anyway because let’s be honest...there’s a good chance she’ll die if she ends up meeting the wrong character, haha.

If I do commit with her, I could actually utilize her as another type of post whenever I’m low on ideas or lack the motivation for a full thought post. Basically, journal entries made by a character in universe. Sasha would basically be doing...the same kind of thing I actually do with the thought posts. Now one might say, “Isn’t that kind of lazy? Like you’re just duplicating your own content?” And I say, “Kind of, yes.”

Fun fact about me though, I’m not really a creative writer. Most of the writing I’ve done has been for more scientific papers. With those, you’re just getting the facts in. Now my thought posts are a little more carefree and show a bit of personality in them I think. Basically, tumblr is intended to be my “lazy time.” Still, I’ve hardly ever tried to write in first person from a character’s perspective. Also, while I myself would have a wider grasp of the Rockland universe and its characters, I would be placed in a challenging position with Sasha where I can only have her commentate on events and characters revealed in canon that...basically COULD be fair game as “news” or “rumors” around town. For example, she’s not going to know about an MC’s personal experience with a character after they’ve been kidnapped (and they don’t escape). But if there’s some news or rumors around town that people are disappearing, that’s fair game for her to speculate about.

The Misfits actually I think have the most potential for regular civilians to have an idea that they exist. One story even had the police investigating them, so you know there’s probably some curious individuals that start gossip as a result. So I will probably end up having Sasha in the general vicinity of wherever most of the Misfits’ activities take place.

Oh yeah, the Rockland universe is going to have so many characters, groups and likely locations. Sasha’s only human, and it would be WAY too much of a headache for me to actually have her contemplating more than one aspect of the universe. Looking into the possibility of angels existing vs. supernatural beings existing (Hand of God) vs. a dangerous/unruly group of killers (Misfits) is just...that’s too much, haha.

I know Zeitgeist is coming out first, but I’m pretty sure the Misfits will be introduced more formally once that game is complete.

Now then, I still want to make the best of Sasha as a brain exercise. What’s the point of having a character if you can’t develop a personality, history and motivations for them? Character creation isn’t my forte, but if I can establish a solid background for her, I think it’ll help have the character stand on their own better. Even without interacting with any of the other characters.

Possible Backstory for Sasha

This is pretty rough, but here’s what I have so far. Sasha herself and her life in general was pretty average growing up. She was taught the usual ideals of: work hard in school, get a job, be nice to others, don’t do drugs, just anything that helps a person be, “a good civilian.” Don’t worry, it wasn’t a strict military household or anything, just one where the parents wanted their kids to live happy lives, make friends and hopefully be working a job they love when they grow up.

Now Sasha had one sibling: her older brother. They were very close and did everything together. Her brother always seemed “perfect,” to Sasha. He had a fun personality, he looked out for her, his grades were good, he wasn’t bad at sports, and he was good looking. Stereotypical golden child, I know. Just bear with me here for a second. During these years, Sasha and her brother never opposed anything their parents taught them.

Eventually her brother went off to college away from home. Sasha was sad, but otherwise fine with this. She knew they could keep in touch through the phone and internet easily. So they did, and everything was fine for awhile...but slowly the calls, emails and text conversations would become fewer and fewer.

Eventually a point hit where the communication stopped. Sasha began to get antsy, but figured when all her attempts at contact failed, she might be bothering him. Perhaps he was just focusing harder on his studies?

Time passed and suddenly...her brother was back home prior to when he would have been graduating. Sasha and her parents were very surprised to hear that he had been kicked out. Of course, they tried to comfort him and assured him that everything would be okay. He could stay home as long as he wanted until he got back on his feet. No one’s perfect.

Sasha was actually happy for a few days to have her brother back home, but...he was different. He wasn’t quite as social as he was before. In fact, he hardly seemed to want to do anything with his family. And gentle coaxing from her parents about how things were going during dinner was rebuffed by her brother.

He’d go out frequently, day...and VERY late at night. Sasha was making sure to keep her own life in order, but she couldn’t help but become curious as to what was going on with her brother. Sometimes, she’d follow him out secretly. The people that he was hanging out with now weren’t like his old friends. There was something unsettling about them. She became more alarmed when she noticed small red stains on his jacket once when coming home. The next time he was out, she snuck into his room. After sometime, she found a plastic bag with some old clothes of his she noticed he’d stopped wearing. They all had the same red stains on them. It was blood.

Sasha keeps the discovery a secret from her family, but she starts to watch her brother with eyes like a hawk. He starts to notice and eventually asks her what’s up one day when they’re alone in the house. Snapping, she admits to what she found and ask him why he’s acting so strange. He doesn’t take this well and they get into a massive argument. After what felt like an eternity, it ends with both feeling physically exhausted from the emotional outburst. After a few minutes of silence, the brother says he’s needs to head out tonight to finish something up. Sasha gives him a sad look and asks him quietly, “Come back safe, please.” He’s a little taken aback by this, but nods and promises he’ll be home in a little while. He leaves.

Sasha’s brother never returned home that night, or ever again. [Author’s note: I have not decided yet, if he’s been flat out murdered, or he’s still alive but just never came back- both change a lot about the story]

This messes up Sasha. Everyone she knows consoles her and says they’ll be there if she needs them. On the outside, Sasha keeps up a strong front and continues on with her life. She knows he’s gone and she doesn’t want other people to worry about her. Life has to go on anyway. She wants to keep being a “good civilian” and not fall like...

Sasha was slowly becoming obsessed. Not simply with what might have happened to her brother like most people thought. No, instead she became focused on why did her brother change so much? She started getting curious. She had a feeling that he was doing some very unlawful...very awful stuff. She would never have guessed though in her younger years that her brother would even be capable of such things. She wondered if something bad had happened at school. Did his confidence get shot? Did someone influence him? Was the stuff he started doing now more appealing than being what they had always been taught as children? That last one in particular settled in a part of her brain uncomfortably.

Obviously, she’d never get the answers now that she wanted from her brother. She’d have to find another way to get into his head. Perhaps...figure out people who may be similar to him?

How the heck am I linking this to the Misfits?

Sasha basically sees herself as an average “good civilian,” as I’ve stated before. The Misfits, she’d view as a group of people that are generally “bad.” Degenerates you wouldn’t want to associate with or become. However, after everything that happened with her brother, she’d now view the Misfits with an unhealthy curiosity. She’d view them with disdain, but is compelled to figure out what makes them tick. She absolutely refuses to believe her brother was some sort of sociopath or psychopath all along. She’d never want to place him as the same group of the Misfits, but she thinks that maybe there’s some allure that pulled him into that lifestyle. She also wonders, “Are these people who were always like this, or became this way overtime?” Characters of the latter she’d feel would be more useful for understanding her brother.

Now I have two options for why she knows the Misfits exist:

Option 1) She has always lived in the town where the Misfits currently exist, and they’re a recent development after her brother has gone. Pretty standard.

Option 2) She finds a note with the word crumpled up in one of her brother’s jacket pockets. It’s not his handwriting, more like a note someone else gave him. It said the name, “This Misfits” on it as well as “This is where you want to go” and lists a city and state. That’s it. This prompts Sasha to MOVE to where the Misfits are. She doesn’t know anything about them, but wanted to know why her brother was curious. No, I would NOT be making her brother a Misfit in this case. More like...it’s possible he was interested in being part of the group. Possibly.

Please note that this ENTIRE backstory and mindset of Sasha is completely capable of being scrapped. Why? I still don’t entirely know what the Misfits are all about. I need to have at least a decent grasp on the group’s general atmosphere, goals, personality, etc. Without knowing that, I can’t say this backstory would suffice for Sasha.

If this backstory DOES work, the benefit is that Sasha then clearly has her own issues and a personal goal of closure. Thus, her not interacting with canon characters at all wouldn’t necessary stunt her as a character. At least I think so?

Well at the very least, this was kind of fun to write. It’s a lot, so I had to write it down if I didn’t want to forget it.

If anyone actually decided to read this (this was more for own personal notes), uhhh hope it was fun? XD

Now to continue waiting for the next game.

#rockland #sasha holmes #my OC #drawing practice #the misfits #backstory

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adelindschade · 6 years

Text

So since in my previous post I touched on some of the bullshit my dad put us through, I’m going to reiterate some of our last ‘transactions’ before that bridge was burned - one of the many pivotal awakenings I needed to throw those rose colored glasses away. By then I had taken them off and started seeing shit differently but this moment was probably one of the few that prompted me to stop giving a fuck and call it quits for good.

By this point, dad and I are in a rough patch. I gave him an ultimatum about a year from now - right before thanksgiving - to stay off mom, she wasn’t in a position to be losing income for child support when custody was 50/50, etch. - and he’d rather lay into me about not knowing my place (despite me being a 22 YO independent adult) and gaslighting me about not knowing the full situation (bullshit). So we’re not on speaking terms.

I’ll let you know now - family or not, if you piss me, I’m done. I quit. There ain’t no tantrums. There aren’t conversations. After that last text and you ain’t wit the program, I’m duecing out. Peace sign, have good life, motherfucker, I’m out. Adios. Fuck off forever. I had my last straw and I stopped talking altogether. It was mutual. No one was lifting a finger to initiate any sort of discussion after that debacle. .

I ain’t the person who sends holiday or birthday texts. Nah. When I’m done, it’s cold turkey. I cut it off in an instant and I don’t look back. None of this “I’m always here” bullshit or “call me if you have a change of heart”. Nah, fam. Not even with my ex-bestie. She was all about that life after our blow out but I said what I said, I meant it, and I’m not turning back on my words just to re-engage an awkward & inevitably change friendship. That bridge was incinerated and same goes for my Dad.

Also - blocking - I’m all about that life. None of that ‘weak’ shit excuse. I don’t want to be hearing from you. I don’t want to be seeing shit from or about you. I don’t want you creeping on my shit either so your nosy ass can talk about something to your friends. Nah. We’s dead to each other. I blocked a hella ton of people because they nosy AF and messy and I’m not going to enable that shit. My profile is private, too, so they can’t hire their friends to peep for them either. Communication is low so mutual friends or family can’t be talking shit if I don’t have anything to say about the matter. I stay in my fucking lane, you bet your ass you ought to do the same. I ain’t gonna make it easy for you to weave in between the lines so don’t even bother.

I also learned that if people are a) bitching but b) not blocking - that door is still open for more bullshit. That girlfriend of yours talking shit about her on-and-off ex for a billion reasons but still refusing to block his ass? You bet they’re going to be back together by the end of the week. It’s inevitable. They ain’t ready to cut that cord.

My dad was one of those people. His (last I heard, ex) GF was a piece of work. So many stories were born from that messy relationship but he wasn’t dumb AF and continued to justify or make excuses as to why he wanted to work on it. At the end of the day, he made it known he valued her over his own kids, and that was that. He bankrupted himself to support her even though she already had income coming in three different ways and he used that excuse to make all these expectations that were never realized.

This is semi-important. All of this ties together.

When I cut contact, I cut all of it. No birthday text, no happy father’s day text, none of that. I was a making a point and it struck a nerve. He went through mom to tell me I needed to bounce TF off his phone plan (as if I wasn’t paying my portion?? which I learned was MORE than what I actually owed!!). Hmm. Ironic. I was asking him for months to cut me off his plan because he was the account owner and he had to give the approval but all he did was give BS excuses to wait or that I wasn’t financially ready to take on another burden (What?? I was meticulous about my budget and planned ahead for it! I realize now it was because I was paying for part of not just my plan but his, too - hmm). So suddenly now, I’m an ungrateful mooch and need to bounce ASAP.

Luckily I anticipated this but unfortunately had to wait for his go ahead. Because no matter how times I attempted to do it, they still needed certain information only he could give, and it was infuriating that I couldn’t do shit unless he went ahead from HIS account to release the line.

Now, let me input this: I love my phone. It’s old (4+ years) but it works, it functions, and it still in pretty condition because I forked out a shit ton of money for a grade A case that lived up to its reputation (otterbox FTW). So, the only thing I was (or should have been) paying for was just the plan and my ass was grandfathered in so I wasn’t paying for shit for unlimited. However, I was paying twice that amount until this moment. My upgrade was never used because I didn’t need one - it was only for an emergency just in case some shit happened to my phone. I didn’t ever want a new one because the one I had (and still do) does everything I need it to. (Shout out to Samsung!)

Dad, however, was the exact opposite. Constantly upgraded because he HAD to have the new iPhone after it’s release (same applies to my brother which he always catered to) and stealing everyone’s upgrades while still forking out money for the phone he just ditched.

So after days in finagling for the fucking information I needed to just finish the job, he finally makes me the account manager to just take care of it. First it was, oh I haven’t paid the bill yet so I still owe x amount before they make any account change (abet lowkey suggesting I take care of the $400+ invoice - TF I will! Hell no! I’m not the one to be tried today - fuck that noise!) Then it was - oh, well, uh, I couldn’t cover the total so wait until next week so I have the entire bill take care of...

Here’s what went down:

This man never, ever paid the bill in full. He had late fee after late free applied because he was cutting corners.

On top of that, he was constantly adding new devices - like a new set of Dre Beat wireless headphones - hmm - while apparently not having enough to cover the bill. That’s some piss poor management right there.

Here’s the bonus:

I finally ask the rep to take me off. Wait, there’s a new charge. What? On my line? Repeat that, please??

This man used MY line, MY UPGRADE, while the account still under his name to buy a brand new $1100 iPhone - in payment plans no less! So either someone pays the difference (which is pretty much the whole thing) before I can ever transfer my line to an independent one or - at this point - my mind stopped listening because I was fuming.

Wanna guess where, or rather who, that phone went to? Take a guess - it’s pretty easy - if you thought, hmm, Dad, so did I - but no, it went to his pretty little neurotic piece of a GF. *I learned this later on from my brother who was lamenting about how she got the phone and not him (after his took a nasty fall & cracked the screen).

Folks, I don’t remember how TF I did without forking over money but I did - I got my ass off the plan within a week of the original message, kept my beloved phone (which he can pry from my cold, dead hands) and my number with a manageable plan.

Now, let me tell you, I did not block my dad. My number is still the same as always because it’s damn near connected to everything in my name. I couldn’t bother with a number change because too much inconvenience. I sent him an e-mail saying the deed was done (literally 5 words or less) and he never replied back - that was that.

Fast forward about.... rounded, a couple months. Karma is beautifully served and she kicks his ass to the curb after mooching off what she could without having to do the same. (He’s still a dick and probably did some shit to deserve the restraining order). He crawls back to my mom looking for pity. She reminds him said-ex-GF is not worth it and primarily one of the reasons why he’s estranged with his eldest (me!).

He has the audacity to say the following - oh, I was going to ask her eventually if she wanted to get coffee. (Haha! Hell no! As if I’d be anywhere in the same zip code as this man! I ain’t gonna be trapped listening to his woe-is-me bullshit. Fuck that!)

Mom shakes her head - she knows me well enough. That ain’t gonna fly. She’s not going to respond to that.

He probably scratched his head - what should I do? (*Uh, dumbass, I literally wrote you an e-mail with plain-as-day instructions. First step, apologize, second step, acknowledge your wrong doings, third step, make an vocal and actual effort to fix x amount of issues which I’ve bulleted! Look at your Goddamn archives!)

Mom literally says - show an effort.

He replies - okay... is her number the same??

Bruh. Bruuhh.

At this point, it’s just comedy. I can’t make this shit up.

I’ve never blocked this man. I never changed my number. If he asked, idk, my brother?? He’d confirm - yeah, it’s still the same.

Now under this context, which my mother forewarned me about, he sends me a BS text - oh, thinking about you, hoping you’re doing well, text me, love ya.

What bullshit. Mind you, had his (ex) GF not kicked him to the curb, he’d still be at her side, and I’d still be in exile - so no - not happening. You made your bed, lie in it. See - I look at the bigger picture - it helps with retrospect.

Mark to present: Mom is now on the train which she’s almost always finds her way back on - forgive and forget! He’s your father? Yadda-yadda - you know the naive shit that gets her into trouble because she forgives wayyy too easily the shit no one should put up with. (*I’m all about the resent-and-remember and boii has it served me good).

Mom - has your father texted you yet? He told me he tried again. (As per use, telling one thing, doing another - actions ain’t lining up, pops. Typical).

My inbox: void of any such message(s).

Me - Nope! (proceeds to monologue about his douchebaggery and my intolerance for such antics and how forgiveness is absolutely out of the question.)

Mother - who is very passive - immediately weans off the topic. She’s the soft spoken but persistent type. (I’m the opposite. I’m the ‘cuss your ass out’ + end of fucking discussion type).

I see things for how they are and I’m ain’t about that bullshit. I know how things operate and I’m not playing the fool this time.

#this is a long post #oh my

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