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harmcityherald · 1 month

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The turtles got their new food and they seem to be liking it well. They had been using the sandbox all night in and out so it looks like I will be building a much bigger sand unit onto their enclosure. My other tank got a very expensive cleaning last night for peppermint and foremost. I also was able to get them an air stone. I also bought anything to vacuum out their tank and so last night they got quite the cleaning which will be finished this morning. I was also able to get half of my cutting done in my garden yesterday so my garden is finally taking off as well. Hopefully today I can put it in a little more work and bring my garden a little bit closer to being started. Artemisia is very watchful that I don't overwork myself because sometimes I have a tendency to where my garden is concerned. So the coffee is made and I'm sitting outside and enjoying it right now other than the fact that all my dinosaur buddies are sitting here in a circle looking at me in the trees bullying me to give them more food but we of course has suspended operations because of the bird flu. Sorry little guys but I think I know better than you I can read the medical journals you can't. So until I feel like it's safe again you guys are on your own I hate to say that. I guess I will offset that by giving my inside buddies a little more attention than they've been getting. The little tank is looking a lot better. Foremost loves the air stone much more than peppermint does. I think our reading let us to the correct decision that the snail needs an AirStone and that is exactly what she got. I also scraped off the six masses of eggs that she laid around the top of the tank, luckily I don't have a female to fertilize them all or I would have a million snails like I'm afraid I'm going to have a million Turtles before it's all over with. I won't be able to release them in the wild if it actually happened but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I love my critters and my critters love me.

I would add more tags but they only allow me a certain number so I should end it there. Or else I'll talk myself right into a bad mood. And that's not fair to my little buddies is it?

Mark my word, we are all going to live to see the day to read about that man doing something incredibly stupid. I'm not going to try to lay any future or philosophical View on what that could be. Trust me, he's a pedophile with an arsenal of ghost guns. And it's a situation that I'm too old to try to help and solve. My other two grandchildren the one being autistic and the other being transgender make me want to reach out and help them and yet the transgender child is under extreme brainwashing by him. One time he even told her that he would fuck the lesbianism right out of her, and for me that's not something that should ever come out of a father's lips to a daughter ever no matter what the situation is at all. And yet that same transgender child, under his pristine Direction, hates my very guts. The only one in the family who would actually call you by your real name and would refuse to use your dead name and yet I guess the fact is that Alan loves his father and any concessions that meat had makes for her must make her feel at least somewhat accepted. But because of the Meathead Saga I do not get to see those two sets of grandchildren anymore. Because I'm a deep state leftist, if you can actually believe that's a reason to hold your children back from someone. That's very sad to me I have seven grandchildren all together. It is only two that I get to react and deal with everyday living here with me and I'm so thankful of that. Many people would say it's a financial burden I should not subject to myself to. But I've always been a firm believer that you never throw kids to the wind ever. Especially not in this fucked up world the way it is now. If you throw your kids to the Wolves you're no better than a Spartan throw in your baby off the edge of a cliff. And that's not how I was ever taught that parenting was done. I have never raised a hand to a child ever not in my whole life. I've always gotten so much more from children when you talk to them and treat them like people the people that they no doubt are.

Anyway, Meatheads brand of ineffectual terrorism doesn't really scare me in any way. I have no idea why I'm really on this this morning. Perhaps the youngers are arguing last night reminded me of the tension in the house when Meathead was here pretty much destroying everything in his path. We're trying to destroy everything in his path which included me. I had six police officers and four doctors all together bum rushed me in the room to convince me that I needed to press charges. I told him if I pressed charge does that means I won't be able to get them out of my house and the only thing I want is for them to be out of my house like tomorrow so I didn't press charges against him, which I'm sure he walks around in his own little tiny house Castle now Vindicated somehow that the cops wouldn't touch him when really it was me that kept that from happening. Trust me if it had been any other situation I would have made sure he got every little bit of punishment he deserved for it but it was more important for me to clear this place out and have a nice calm place for my Artemisia and our wonderful youngers

#my turtle chronicles #my critters #turtles #fish #a snail #two kitty cats #and all my plants Aquatic and otherwise #gardening #spring has sprung in rannyland #Cthulhu is coming up I will show a picture of him later he is my Herald of spring and he is coming up and that makes the third year in a ro #Happy Coffee to all my little listeners and all My Little Critters are determined that it's going to be a good day #better just make sure you make artemisius coffee the right way #the youngers had a fight last night and it looks like one of them didn't come home so I'm a little worried about that #but I didn't like the way I heard my granddaughter being talked to and although she's upset today maybe it's for the better #he giving her a hard time for going out with her cousin while every time he goes out with his friends he ends up with a goddamn charge.#but I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing as a pop pop I'm there for her for whatever she needs #I love my grandkids more than life itself #them and my Artemisia make me so thankful to have been allowed to be part of their family and so grateful to get to be the grandfather #I think more parents should feel that way instead of feeling burdened or some idiots who like to run their house like a army base #we all remember the Meathead Saga don't we?#he is on the bus idiots who has to sit at the top of the dinner table everyday and make his children sit in front of him #like some idiot from a Twisted Sister video #there was no wonder he and I did not get along #not to mention he was trying to squat and steal my house and then he tried to take my life #somebody that's one family member I'm not to enamored of having #and I've also made it very very very clear that he is no longer welcome here and that I will have no more talks of that anything with him #I think that every family has at least one person in it who is under the completely wrong assumption that they are a master manipulator #everybody's got the narcissist #maybe yours is a parent mine was a middle-aged asshole who thought he was a parent and is still failing miserably at that fact #you know he actually convinced the state to pay him to stay at home to care for his autistic son which sounds really good on the outside

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 months

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something abt The Family Unit as this bordered site potentially of a little system of authoritarianism being that it's really this example plenty of people have of how like, You Would Think "oh if the people In Charge realize the structural integrity of what they're in charge of & say they're Supporting is being degraded then surely on a practical basis they'd change course? compromise?" & like the compromises Are continually made to shore things up a little longer but it's a pyramid scheme & it's continuously crumbling. & the Logic of the authority is what's held on to no matter what, not whatever else is claimed to be the goal (e.g. having a Good Family, workplace, corporation, country...) & that means having all the power, which is never actually the case or possible so since that goal's never met it's really just about having More power (what's next, constant profit growth), & everything's oriented around That, such that yeah strategic fleeting compromises may be made but as this structure inevitably deteriorates further, i.e. the control as successfully applied power is being lost, it's not about compromising more & more until eventually things are egalitarian, it's more about lashing out & doubling & tripling & quadrupling down on the exact same measures always taken anyways, because of how the entire like belief is in being the authority, expressed by forever only following the logics of authority/hierarchy & control/abuse

that is to lead into how like, the Failure of [ostensible alternate practical goal: the cohesion of the perfect family(tm)] can happen in more obvious ways / on shorter timeframes than, say, the agenda of propping up an empire, & so there's like all this evidence of how even when the theoretically inviolate borders of The Family are ruptured there's like "wouldn't the relevant family members change their approach in the face of this undeniable failure. wouldn't they question themselves." b/c like, surely? how could you not? but the experience being overwhelmingly "absolutely they do not" with instead the doubling down, perhaps the strategic compromises that are then only used to wear away the targeted parties & then (perhaps after an incremental transition) be back at it once that defense is seemingly breached, but the same logic seems to "work" even in situations where whatever Unit is destroyed, partnership, family, friendship, acquaintanceship, b/c the sense of [i am entitled to More] is just like. undisturbed or "supported" by the ruptures & lack of access to whomever, the Denial of what they feel they're already entitled to. the dehumanization of others / No Need to ever have to consider & contend with those ppl's real feelings if you control their life enough anyways is all still at play & there's no room for even Now considering if you were wrong about how someone felt, so the logic might also default to things like "it's a total mystery but what matters is i was / am wronged" &/or "well things would've been great if i had my total authority like i should have & imagine i could have, so basically some Other enemy authority must be at fault (e.g. guess my child was converted by the gay agenda, the devil, the evil outside world, communist spies, anarchists, [the pc police the virtue signalers the woke dei agents the "almost forgot abt 'critical race theorists'"]" that it just so happens that agendas of Autonomy & Equality are ones that seem to inherently insidiously threaten & undermine their own. like yeah you're not wrong about that but in also true [every accusation a projection] form of course the belief must be that They are fostering bliss & freedom & the jealous evil agents of The Other are always trying to stop them :(

like "don't they realize this is counterproductive to the wellbeing of [what they're in charge of]" like compromises may be temporarily made along the way but not Really, no, & when push comes to shove it'll be about the priorizing of asserting & holding on to Controlling Lives vs anything that'd serve anything else. & that again, with families like you might see the decided Failure of that, e.g. very limited or completely absent relationship with an adult child, and you see that like. the Authority guardian/s who are the reason with it don't change their approach. any adjustments are strategic & meant to Ultimately restore the status quo; the people who managed to extricate themselves have to rely on their own ability to actually manifest their own choices to, say, be able to remove themself from the presence of this person if they want. and that like even with that lifelong experience of dealing with that Authority & the system under them it can be so difficult to believe like do they really not even question themself on all this despite the actual external consequences manifested? b/c the Logics are so different. the child made effectively Responsible for the actions of an adult or two / the supposed Wellbeing of the family is so much more used to having to consider others' Feelings & what might make them act xyz way, b/c of that impossible but evident tasking with being harmed if there's any Problems there, versus that the person "in charge of" the wellbeing of the family & individuals therein (& certainly the young children) being concerned with their own entitlement & whether everything seems to reinforce their authority, flexing it if not, disinterest in so much else, resentment for the physical needs of children as a begrudged investment in then lifelong entitlement to kids as property to give deference / whatever support you want. & when these "supported" children are never "grateful" enough, i.e. not noticeably thwarting efforts to access whatever a parent feels entitled to (with, exactly in line with all of this, pretty invariably Issues With (denial of) Any Boundaries, e.g. not allowed to close that bedroom door this is my house, not allowed to not want to be touched i made that body, not allowed to be unsupervised what are you hiding, not allowed to say no, not allowed to have feelings/moods/preferences/opinions not in harmony with mine...) like it's supposedly only an extreme, all the more sympathetic (to the authority parent) escalation of this Ingratitude to, if possible, escape the realm of said authority. can't believe they'd do this to me

just that tl;dr of like "but at this point [authority] is sabotaging themselves i.e. the longevity of any system where they even have that position of authority? surely they realize that & change their approach b/c they Have To?" & beyond "no, not necessarily" like it's so almost Necessarily that "they definitely will not & will just try to 'invest' in their perpetual authority (which is always trying to be Increased b/c it's also never total or unbroken) by upping the violence & lashing out & ignoring w/e they have to ignore b/c they do Not have any actual alternate way to address it" like no the parents lose the entire relationship with children & don't have Realizations abt it, don't question themselves, don't make a real change, don't stop feeling as, & increasingly, entitled

#you'd think they would. but they do not think that they would. it's a completely different Logical Framework #the impenetrability of ''i'm Superior to anyone; objects/props/property/tools in My life for My agenda''#if there's negative consequences of this treatment & it's constantly shattering b/c That Is Not Reality? it's just them being Wronged #you can just believe that forever. if you're trying to reject even the Vulnerability of [gotta consider other ppl Have thoughts; feelings]#then taking on the Vulnerability of; for one thing; That; & an entire upheaval of the rest of what you've built your whole Self around.....#it does not really happen. presumably some outliers / sure it can be Possible but even then it's like #is the priority ''converting'' ppl doing this. Convincing them to stop. or in how those affected can throw them off & have more support #yes we all think that would be lovely. but it's a whole Ideology. & [what do i care if xyz Believes im nonhuman if they cannot in practice #act on that belief & make it my problem] the external situations & manifestations of power Can be dealt with by others. ppl's internal #self is their own personal business Ultimately ofc. can feel entitled to Everything Forever sure but gotta get Other Ppl outta that sitch #this has also been resonating with like head in hands deep breath the like. [it's On Sight; Sound; Read Text; Anything] dehumanization as #an autistic person like ppl Do immediately assess the [this person's existing wrong] diagnosis & do not necessarily ''learn'' otherwise #the vulnerability is pounced on / the ''opportunity'' for abuse in any situation b/c it's Deserved in this case ofc / the like ''we Do #officially label you Autistic & we Do prescribe; even require; abuse about it'' aba / rejection/ostracization / pathology / Inferiority #like what else can you do but go ''maybe ppl will change their minds? maybe i can act a way to convince them to do so?'' But No #ofc all Compounding vulnerabilities only feed into all other systems of dehumanization / vulnerability / abuse / disempowerment #my experience being autistic seemed to support my experience w/family abuse...B/c It 100% Did support it #other disabilities; less resources; more poverty; appearing nonwhite & ''worse'' black; cultural ''difference'' from the norm(tm)....#further layers (often given ''priorities'' like how Race is given 1st Consideration in who's ''beneath'' whom) in dehumanization #which is an ideology people have to Reject to; you know; humanize everyone they encounter. but they don't ''have'' to so: might not!#& obviously playing into it is what's encouraged And demanded so yeah go find the ppl in Your life to scapegoat / deem inferior! to cope!#while this is so entrenched/supported By Everything As Is that it's just ppl ''being normal'' instead of consciously disdainfully violent #so it's Something having to go ok no the double standards never cease the Sympathy (i.e. again taking unilateral Responsibility for other #ppl's feelings (& by extension hopefully their resultant actions)) will never even afford you Being Liked much less the Basic Respect #whether someone happens to personally find you Likable or not in the first place. have to ofc Hope others have other principles about it #which; you know; the logic of Ableism is in all the systems of dehumanization & exploitation. it's Just Biology / Reality....#everyone's so Great abt things now. def don't have ppl like ''haha the lack of social skills am i right autists'' / ''annoyingly nd ppl''#just saying the same shit in an XD arm slung around your shoulder tone now. dont want me saying Idiot this is why i love ableism #(it was bc everyone is already taught to love ableism & leverage it however they can) i wasn't a violent bigot: then the leftists pwned me #anyways consulting Exp. w/Authoritarian Family sure can be a touchstone recognizing resonances anywhere else. dynamics/interactions. govts

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arolesbianism · 4 months

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Jean may barely be a character but I love them for what they are. We truly need more cranky old farts who are nonbinary

#rat rambles #oni posting #tbf they're probably not That old but theyre probably at least middle aged #I personally imagine them as being in the 50s-60s range #so yknow greying a bit but not necessarily crumbling into dust #I can accept them being in their 40s tho just not much younger #theyre also part of the Aid squad so theyve probably been working at gravitas for a while #probably significantly longer than most of the others if we assume that they are in fact decently old but otherwise who knows #anyways all they do is yell at some employees abt to be trapped in sub sub sub basement hell and be grumpy abt the holidays #well ok they dont necessarily yell but they do get mad that one of the scientists that was supposed to be here went home for the holidays #and then after being all like take down those lights this isnt a mall they fuck off and are never seen again #well ok. technically speaking we dont have 100% confirmation that its jean since someone goes jea- before correction themself to last name #but like. its jean. theyre the only character that it could be unless this was some rando. which if I've learned anything theres no randos #everyone who I thought was a rando turned out not to be and Im sure even the completely nameless mentioned characters are probably someone #ok ok. there are Some randos I Think. but most of them are mentioned in relics as historical figures #its very possible that they do appear in other stuff in the logs but Ill have to double check #but from the top of my head theres only like 3 ppl I feel confident calling randos #and thats because two of them are reffered to in historical context + we get full names and the other seems to also be in the past #and also gets a full name so while technically the third Could be someone given that they have initials instead of comfirmed middle names #but both are e and the only e named person we have is ellie who we already know the last name of #so basically theyre almost certainly a rando but a very very weird rando since theyre mentioned in an email I think

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clitology · 5 months

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i think i might be an awful person (cw // rant in tags)

#lately ive been thinking a lot about myself & who i am as a person & how i treat other people #idk if it's intrusive thoughts but i am afraid i will cheat on someone. really hurt someone #i had reached the conclusion that im 'not fit to date yet' many months earlier & honestly i just accepted it #but i went out w old friends today & the relationship questions kept coming up so much #i just. didn't know how to explain myself #not that i have to. not to my old school friends in any case #but just to myself. i don't even think it's that i think im unloveable #in fact im all the more scared of someone falling in love w me & me not being able to love them back & hurting them #& it's just. so much more random stuff. like i feel like i don't love my parents or family enough #that i would probably not even feel bad if a loved one were to fall ill #idk idk im sick thinking of it #but even just the fact that i can't convince myself otherwise either. like i can't defend myself against myself?#only thing that i have evidence for is that i did really love my last partner so yes i am capable of love #& not completely cold inside #but then i think of all my friendships. & i have never kept up w any of them. i am one of those people who just let go of their friends #as soon as whatever situation we were in (school work or college) is over. our friendship is over from my side #& it's not even something that struck me as bad until i fell into this self-incriminating rabbit hole #on some level i do think i only really really care about myself #i just don't know how awful i can be for other people #because rn im in a state where im convinced im awful enough in romantic relationships that i should just not put anyone through dating me #the conclusion is that i am probably an awful person who is going to probably end up alone in life #but that will probably be for the better of all people #on one level i can make peace w that #but on another i see no point in living if im living solely for myself & not for the love & joy of humanity #personal <3

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pibsboots · 4 months

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I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.

Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.

It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.

When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.

Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.

Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.

I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.

But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.

With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.

If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.

Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.

Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.

It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.

All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.

There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.

#chronic illness #chronic fatigue #chronic pain

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milkykotek · 1 month

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success story: celebrity crush turned boyfriend

First off, I'm aware people may not believe me. However, that's completely fine! I simply don't care, because it happened, and I wanted to share. I will not be sharing explicit details due to privacy reasons for both me and my boyfriend, especially since he is a popular actor.

It took me a few weeks because I didn't want to jump into dating immediately. However, you can immediately manifest anything and quantum jump! I chose to do it step by step.

"Dp" is a term used in the LOA (Law of Affirmation, Assumption and/or Attraction) community to describe your desired person. It can be anyone. 3D is the 3d dimension, the world you see in front of you. 4D is your thoughts and the reality where everything you want is accomplished.

It happened, but... what did?

I manifested my celebrity crush! I've been interested in him for some time now (due to personal reasons me and my now ex boyfriend – whom I manifested, too – have broken up). It was quite a wild ride, to be completely honest, and as always, I turned out successful!

There seems to be a blockage many face while manifesting celebrities, or otherwise famous/popular people. They're putting them on a pedestal, and so shifting the focus from actually manifesting to idolizing them. Of course, if you're manifesting a celebrity sp, you're most likely a fan of them already – that's not the point.

You're god, you're on top of the universe, you're the most important person there is. I don't care, and neither should you, about your circumstances. They're nothing but that – a circumstance in the 3D. As we all know, the 3D reflects our beliefs, assumptions, and the things we attract by engaging them. We engage them by giving them attention and reacting. An example can be someone giving you a dirty look – "Oh my god, they hate me!," you could think, and that is your assumption. You're not sure if they were even looking at you, because they could've been looking behind you, or simply have a resting b*tch face. And so, you thinking they frowned at you is an assumption. It's quite easy to create one.

And it's also easy to change that! The LOA (Law of Attraction, Assumption and/or Affirmation) community likes to overcomplicate manifesting by claiming it is hard to change your beliefs. It really is not. Every time you encounter a negative thought (thoughts create assumptions, assumptions show up in the 3D), simply change it. It's as easy as it seems. "I feel so sad", you can change that by saying, "I'm so happy and relaxed". Don't accept things you don't want to experience. Something happened that upset you? No, it didn't. Instead of dwelling on it, ignore it or affirm "It never happened", create a new story, "(something else) happened".

how did you manifest a celebrity dp?

You manifest a celebrity just like you manifest anyone else. They're human, and I don't believe in free will – anything I don't want, I change. It may sound weird, but is there even such thing as normal when it comes to manifesting and all the possibilities the universe offers?

The only thing you must do is take them off the pedestal and regain your power and control. It's not about them – it's about you. They're the obsessed one, they're the one manifesting you, you're on their mind.

If you're searching for a recipe, there is none. However, I can share a few ingredients – things that helped me:

— affirming. Affirming is nothing more than repeating what you want to happen, ex. "My dp loves me."

— persisting. You really don't want to give up until you see results. Of course, it doesn't mean you have to manifest 24/7, but then again, we think all the time, and so we manifest all the time, too.

— living in the end. Living in the end is living as if you already had your desire. How would you feel? How would you act, what would you do? Surely you wouldn't be stressing over results and whatever it is you're manifesting, because you'd already have it. Belief isn't necessary as long as you affirm and persist, but it sure does help.

— having someone to talk to. Having someone you can talk to about your manifestation journey and being supported was really important to me. I want to thank my best friends Star and Aurora, for always supporting and believing in me ❤️. Others would've called me delusional but you guys stood by my side.

proof:

Just breathe. For this part, I wanted to share some affirmations I used.

"Everything I want is mine. Everything I want, I get. I want it, I've got it. I'm a master manifestor. I always manifest whatever I desire and want."

"My dp (insert their name) loves me. My dp wants me. My dp is obsessed with me. My dp constantly texts me. My dp is texting me right now. My dp misses me. I am constantly on my dp's mind. My dp is constantly thinking about me. My dp is my boyfriend (or girlfriend, partner, anything you desire). I am my dp's best friend and soulmate."

Good luck ❤️. 222

#manifesting #manifestation #loa blog #loa #loa tumblr #law of assumption #law of attraction #law of manifestation #law of affirmation #success story

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dreambunnynotes · 2 months

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bunny's 60-day glow up challenge ❤︎

hi my loves! my birthday is right around the corner and i want to end the year strong, so i thought it would be a cute and encouraging idea to host a challenge for all of us glow-up girlies! the steps for the challenge are very simple and customizable, and they give plenty of space for low-energy days. this challenge is all about trying your best to remain consistent in your goals, not to strive for an impossible "perfection" but instead to build trust in yourself that you can show up for your beautiful self and achieve the glow up that you deserve!

steps for the challenge:

pick three habits or things you want to dedicate time to every day

write a sentence or two on why you want to focus on these habits so that you have motivation and inspiration to complete them on hard days; this could include a basic "why" or you could write out specific goals you'd like to achieve through these habits

write out three different energy level variations of the habits so you can achieve your habits even on low-energy days

optional step: write an intro post sharing your habits and goals with everyone! you can use the tag #bunny60days to connect with others doing the challenge and hype each other up with accountability and love - you can also tag me and i can cheer you on hehe! 🥰 otherwise you can simply keep track on your own using a journal or planner or whatever works best for you!

optional step: write daily (or weekly) check-in posts sharing what you accomplished on the different days of the challenge, what you'd like to improve on the next day, or just a general update on how you're feeling. remember that this is a feel-good challenge, not a shame-filled one, so be kind to yourself and use this reflection as a way to show compassion and empathy to yourself 💕 again, you can use the tag #bunny60days to track your progress and see how others are doing!

the only very important rule for this challenge:

if you fall off and don't complete every habit you've written down in a day, do not start the challenge over, just pick up from where you left off! remember, this challenge is about building self-trust and resiliency - this means that you won't let one bad day or break in a streak stop you from continuing your habits. being "strong and hardworking" doesn't mean doing everything perfectly from day one, it means picking yourself up when you fall off course and trying again even though you may feel imperfect.

why only three habits?

when we do challenges, it's so easy to want to accomplish everything all at once, from working out to sleep schedules to everything in between. however, when you eventually burn yourself out or don't complete everything on your super long list of habits, shame is bound to follow, and shame does not make healthy soil for a beautiful plant to grow. starting off with three habits with different energy levels is a good way to ease into habit building while still feeling challenging enough to be interesting.

i don't know where to begin! can you give me an example of some habits or goals?

absolutely! if you'd like an example, you can check out my own personal goals for the challenge here. i'll be participating too, so you know that you have at least one person joining you in your glow up! 🥰 there is also a blank template below for you to use for your own glow up adventure.

blank template for you:

my chosen habits:

my goals and why's:

habit one:

habit two:

habit three:

my habit energy tiers:

habit one:

low energy:

medium energy:

high energy:

habit two:

low energy:

medium energy:

high energy:

habit three:

low energy:

medium energy:

high energy:

let's do this! bunny xoxo

#becoming that girl #dream girl #dream life #girlblogging #glow up #it girl #productivity #that girl #clean girl #pink pilates girl #wonyoungism #self care #self improvement #bunny60days #wellness

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gay-dorito-dust · 2 months

Text

How high on the clingy/protective scale these boys are …

Dick: a solid 8.5/10.

A very clingy bean.

Dick would be attached to your hip 24/7 if he could but he couldn’t answer that makes him sad.

In the wise words of @obsessedwithromance on one of my recent posts; ‘if Dick was a dog, he’d be a husky.’

And he’d make a very vocal husky at that with how often he whines and whinges whenever you tried to move from his grasp, acting as though every attempt in removing yourself from his arms were an attack against his character. So he will take personal offence to you wanting to leave him out in the cold and desolate place that was your bedroom. 💀

‘Stop trying to get out of my arms.’ He moans, tightening his hold on you as he buried his head into your neck, locking legs with you for extra measure. ‘Dick, I love you but you’re being too clingy for me right now.’ You reply and had just noticed the error of your ways almost immediately and were about to explain yourself but it was already too late, for you had set Dick the human husky off.

‘Me? Clingy? I thought you liked it when I was clingy? Why the sudden change? What did I do wrong? Why don’t you love me?’ Dick began his tirade and you could only lay there and let him talk your ear off -and loudly might I add- about how you apparently didn’t love him enough, which was a bunch of bullshit, but dick was too in his feelings to listen to reason. You’ll have to kiss him to shut him up, there’s no other option.

So once he’s settled down, he’ll go back to cuddling against your back,smiling dopily while you could only congratulate for a job well done at defusing the situation form getting any worse. You love your dramatic human husky and you wouldn’t change anything for anyone.

Jason: 7.5/10 or a 8/10.

The only time you’re seeing this man be clingy as all hell if he’s in a particular mood and want your affection, which might as well be all the time with this man, or after a not so great nightmare.

He would wake up in a cold sweat and immediately look for you and hold you against his chest as though you were his personal teddy bear, only just until his breathing evens out and not so tense in the muscles. Until then he holds onto you tightly and familiarises himself with you in anyway that he could, whether that be counting your eyelashes, noting the different shades that make up your eyes and much more.

At least just enough to help him gain some sense of self and awareness that he was safe and sound from all harm.

Like Jaime, Jason would watch over you like a hawk as Red Hood without a shadow of a doubt, and Jason has his reasons to do so as he knows the type of people who litter the streets of Gotham at night like the back of his hand. He doesn’t want to subject you to that sort of life of constant fear of having to look over your shoulder in hopes that there wasn’t someone following you home.

For in his minds eye, he’s your sole protector and the one thing that stands between the scumbags of the street and you. Jason doesn’t take this position he’s given himself lightly, it’s unlike him to anyway, as your safety is his top priority and he’d do anything to obtain it; whether they way it’s obtained was morally questionable or not, he doesn’t care for as long as your safe, he’ll live to learn with having permanent blood on his hands.

Damian: 5/10 on a good day. 2/10 in general.

He’s not an overly clingy person. Protective? yes. Clingy? No. It’s just not in just nature and he can be very awkward going about it too.

Damian knows he doesn’t have to constantly survey you 24/7, he has more faith in you and your abilities then most. He knows that you won’t call upon him if at all when faced with a situation that you could easily resolve yourself.

However if you were to get hurt on his watch or otherwise, that’s when he gets slightly clingy and will attempt to be within any space with you possible. Damian shows care in a completely different way than most and will more or less act like a guard dog when it came to you.

This little dude will point his sword at anyone that comes into close contact with you while glaring at them, meanwhile you’re having to push the blade of his sword down and away from the poor victim, only for Damian to raise his sword back towards their throat once more.

‘Pack it in.’ You’d hiss.

‘No. You’re practically useless when hurt, so let me deal with this one.’ Damian said.

You purposely ignored the fact that he had just called you useless and instead pushed the blade of his sword down until it was pointing at the floor again. ‘He’s not even a threat, just a regular citizen. So you can stop it with the fear attics now.’ You told him in a hushed tone. Damian meets your eyes with a glare of his own. ‘How you can be certain he’s a harmless civilian? What if he’s a low life thug of an underground drug syndicate on the rise? You can’t allow yourself to trust every face you meet.’ He replies, not one to back down for anyone, not even you.

You sigh as you rubbed the sides of your head. ‘Well at least try not to cause more issue for your dad. I swear between you, Jason, Tim and Dick I don’t know who gives him the most grey hairs.’

Jaime: runner up for Dick’s crown with also a 8.5/10

He’s clingy in a sense that he fears of loosing you constantly.

Khaji-Da doesn’t make the situation any better as it only encourages Jaime’s Innate clinginess tenfold, and now Jaime can’t go a couple of minutes without offering to join you on wherever your going.

He just cares about you very deeply and wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he’d ever lost you despite having the ability to stop any harm from coming your way. So needless to say that you spend most of your time with him and his family is a severe understatement.

It’s not as though he doesn’t trust you, he wholeheartedly does, but that trust doesn’t extend to potential outside threats. Hell, he would even go as far as to watch over you as Blue Beatle, much to the behest of literally everyone that isn’t Khaji-Da because the scarab is just as clingy over you in a sense that you were Jaime’s mate and there for should be within close proximity to him at all times.

It’s endearing but I think it’s about time you told Kahji-Da to cool it on the whole threatening people you talked to with plans to eliminate them…

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janmisali · 1 year

Note

what do you think of tone indicators in general?

unfortunately my thoughts on tone indicators are somewhat nuanced. fortunately, this is tumblr not twitter, so I can just write out my full thoughts in one post and be as verbose about it as feels necessary.

speaking as an autistic person (and I know there are other autistic people who don't hold this same view, this is just my perspective), I think as an accessibility tool, the extended set tone indicators in current popular use is fundamentally misguided.

the oldest ones, /s for sarcasm and /j for jokes, make sense. their notation isn't the most intuitive thing ("does /s mean sarcastic or serious?") but it's not too difficult to explain what they mean. I've had to spend my whole life learning by brute force what different tones of voice mean and what they change about how I'm supposed to interpret something, so I already know what "read this in a sarcastic voice" and "read this as a joke" are supposed to mean. my existing skills can be translated into the new form without too much effort.

the same thing applies to emoji and emoticons. I know what facial expressions mean, because I had to learn what they mean. figuring out if :) is sincere or not from context is a skill I've already needed to develop. it doesn't come naturally for me, but it's something I already at least somewhat know how to do.

most of the tone indicators in current use uh. don't work like this.

tone indicators like /ref or /nbh don't correspond to specific tones of voice. I don't have a "I'm making a reference" voice or a "I'm not talking about a person who's here" voice that I can picture the sentence being read in. these do not indicate tones, they're purely disambiguators. they clarify what something means without necessarily changing how it would be read out loud.

and on paper, that's fine, right? like, it's theoretically a good thing to take an otherwise ambiguous statement and add something to it that clarifies what you meant by it. the problem is that these non-tone tone indicators are not even remotely self-explanatory. it's up to me, the person who is being clarified to, to know what all these acronyms are supposed to mean, and how they change the way I'm supposed to interpret what something means.

it's, quite literally, a newly-invented second set of social cues that I'm expected to learn separately from the set that I've already spent my whole life figuring out, and it works completely differently.

sure, these rules are (in principle) less arbitrary than the rules of facial expressions and tones of voice and how long you're supposed to wait before it's your turn to speak, but they're also fully artificial and recently invented, which means they're currently in a constant state of flux. tone indicators go in and out of fashion all the time, and the "comprehensive lists" are never helpful.

in theory, I appreciate the idea of people going out of their way to clarify what they mean by potentially ambiguous things they post online. if it worked, that would be a really nice thing to do.

however, sometimes I imagine what the internet would be like without them. what if instead of using /s, the expectation was that if you're sarcastic online there's no guarantee that strangers reading your post will know what you meant? what if instead of inventing more and more acronyms to cover every possible potentially confusing situation, we just... expected one another to speak less ambiguously in the first place?

so, I on paper like the idea of tone indicators. I think it's good that some people are trying to be considerate by being extra clear about what they mean by things. but if tone indicators didn't exist, and people who wanted to be considerate in this way instead just made a point of phrasing things more clearly to begin with, I think that would be vastly preferable to even the most well-implemented tone indicator system.

also /pos sucks because there's something deeply and profoundly wrong for an abbreviation that means "I don't mean this as an insult, don't worry" to be spelled the same way as an acronym that's an insult

#tone indicators #jan misali

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spacedace · 2 months

Text

Still thinking about the Social Worker Jazz concept that @gilbirda posted about and it's slowly turning into a full Anger Management fic send help

Jason at length - much longer than it really should have taken really - set the resume down.

The new Social Worker’s resume. Because she was there, in his office, trying to convince him to hire her as a member of his criminal organization.

Crime Alley’s new social worker. A bright eyed Midwestern transplant from some tiny speck of a place that only qualified as a city because there was nothing bigger in a hundred miles in any direction to claim otherwise. The new social worker who had a Psy D. and three masters degrees and who had graduated Valedictorian. The one that had high paying private gigs lined up all over the country with the offering companies fighting over her.

The one who had, apparently, decided to take a shit job in Gotham’s shoddy social services department instead. The one that got kicked to Crime Alley - which was its own division despite technically being a small neighborhood in the grand scheme of things - within her first month. Supposedly for the sole purpose of scaring her off or getting her killed for all the questions she was asking and secret dealings she was sticking her nose into.

That social worker.

“I’m gonna need you to run this by me again.” Jason said, never so grateful for the voice modulator in his helmet as he was in that moment. It stripped out the bewilderment that had bled through into his words and made him sound stoic instead.

“I’d like to work for you.” The social worker - one Dr. Jasmine Nightingale - repeated primly. Back straight, clothes neat - if skewing more on the librarian side of professional - expression confident and hopeful. Completely and utterly oblivious of how fucking insane she sounded. “I was told that you’re the person in charge of Crime Alley.”

He resisted the urge to scrub at his face. It’d just look weird with his helmet on and not do anything to actually settle him in that moment anyway. “I understood that part.”

“Look, Doc,” She earned a doctorate and she was crazy enough to waltz into the office of one of Gotham’s most powerful Crime Lords, he’d be respectful about using her proper title at least, even if he suspected she was ten pounds of crazy in a five pound bag. “You’re going to have to tell me why. I was under the impression the only reason you ended up dumped on our end of the city ws because you wouldn’t play ball. But now you want to sign up for my crew?”

Nightingale frowned a little at that.

“Is that what people are saying?”

“What else are they gonna say?” Jason answered, leaning back in his seat, “Head of the department only dumps Crime Alley on folks he don’t like. And everyone knows he doesn’t like anyone that can’t or won’t play his game by his rules.”

“Alright, well. I’ll give you that.” Nightingale conceded, “Payne doesn’t like me. The feeling’s mutual. But for the record,” She added giving him a wry smile, as if sharing wry smiles with Red Hood was just something people did, “I asked to be assigned to the Park Row and Bowery neighborhoods.”

“You wanted to work here.”

“Yes.”

“Bullshit.”

Nightingale laughed. It was a bright sound. Not especially clear or pretty, but warm and welcoming in a way that carefully calculated giggles or overdone guffaws couldn’t be. Something with real and honest amusement in it, that encouraged those nearby to laugh along. Not the kind of involuntary, nervous chuckling people tended to slip into when they thought they had pissed someone that scared them off.

She just wasn’t intimidated by him at all, was she?

Behind his helmet, Jason found himself smiling. Just a bit.

“I’m serious.” She assured, blue-green eyes meeting the dark stare of his helmet without a moment of hesitation. He watched as she brushed a lock of her bright red hair behind her ear and out of the way. She’d woven it all into a practical, neat braid but a few sly pieces had snuck out to bounce around her. Gilding her quiet professionalism with a playful charm that worked well with her academia but make it cottagecore kindergarten teacher aesthetic.

“I’ll admit, Gotham wasn’t part of my plan when I first graduated. Time and choices take you funny places sometimes.” She plucked an invisible bit of lint off her soft blue cardigan, not nervous but absent as her gaze went distant for a moment. Thinking back on the events that had led her to his fine city. In a blink, those sharp eyes were back to focusing entirely on him. “But Gotham is where I am now, and I want to help.”

She looked at him, a serious, determined expression settling easily on her face. “The city as a whole has so much chaos and crime breaking out all the time.” No censure or horror in her voice, just a neutral fact to be observed. “But where the rest of the city has millions of dollars poured into it by various foundations or charities run by the Waynes, Park Row is largely ignored.”

Jason watched as steeliness sharpened her gaze, the blue-green shifting from the shine of a bird’s wing to the warning hue of something poisonous and deadly. “No one deserves that. No one.” Her chin tilted up, proud but not imperious. “So yes, I want to work here. There are people in Park Row and the Bowery who need help and I refuse to let any of them feel like they are going to be ignored.”

Jason considered her.

Really looked at her. Pealing back his initial off handed impression of her as some clueless transplant in over her head with no idea of what she was doing or what she was poking her nose into to find the real woman beneath. Her confident poise, her clear unshakable belief, her unflinching willingness to look danger in the eye and not blink. The tense curve of her frown, the lines of pain at the corners of her eyes, the simmering anger beneath it all. There was an edge to her, too. Something sharp and dangerously well hidden by the cardigan and folksy charm of her accent.

It was personal for the woman before him, Jason realized. Maybe not Crime Alley specifically, but something about the whole situation. The treatment the neighborhood and its residents received from the city at large, from those even beyond it.

Crime Alley wasn’t a place that received much in the way of charitable thought. The average joe with their house in Somerset and job at some corporate shithole hating every second of their life but thinking at least I don’t live in Crime Alley. Those asshole hoity-toites in city hall throwing money around equally between shit that’d get them re-elected and their off-shore slush funds in the Caymens doing their damn level best to pretend the black mark on the other end of the city just didn’t exist. Bruce, flooding the entire city with charitable programs and carefully constructed infrastructures shying away from the manifested grief and trauma that was the place he watched his parents get murdered.

For the most part no one from outside of the Alley gave a shit about the Alley other than as a place to avoid at all costs. And most of the time those natives that manages to claw their way out into better and brighter lives didn’t ever turn to glance back. Orpheus could have learned a thing or to from an ex-Alley Kid who managed to eek out a steady 9-to-5 and move to Burnley.

And something about that seemed to piss Dr. Jasmine Nightingale Psy. D right the fuck off.

He could see why Bill said he liked her enough to let her in.

“Alright.” He said, tilting his head, watching the woman seated across from him carefully, “Still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here. Why you’re trying to get on my payroll.”

“I’m not trying to get on your payroll.” She said, some of the glinting edge softening, but the steel remaining. Strong and unyielding. “I’m trying to get into your community outreach program.”

Jason thanked god and all the saints once again for the gift of his helmet. That baby had saved his ass more times than he could count both by keeping his head in one piece and keeping his stupefied expressions wrapped up and hidden from view. Dr. Nightingale was one hell of a woman to make him have to rely on that fact twice in one conversation.

“Wasn’t aware that was something I had.”

Nightingale, not fortunate enough to have a full face covering helmet of her own, had nothing to hide her stupefied expression behind. Jason had a feeling she might have removed it to make sure he saw even if she did though. She looked like she had caught him eating glue like it was a cheese stick.

“Yes you do.” She said, sounding deeply confused but unshakable confident in what she was saying. “I’ve seen it. The soup kitchens, the shelters, the collection boxes for donating old clothes, the after school day care.” Nightingale ticked off on her fingers, “I’ve lived here for less than two weeks and I’ve lost count of all the things I’ve seen setup to help people struggling in the area that I’ve been very reliably informed you and your organization are behind.”

Oh.

Those.

“Those aren’t part of some community outreach program.” He said, “We are simply locals offering services for our neighbors.”

He watched as her caught-him-eating-glue expression shifted into one that said she’d stumbled upon him licking electrical sockets for a mid-day pick-me-up instead. He had to give it to her, the woman was not afraid to let one of the most dangerous men in the city know she thought he was a fucking idiot.

“Let me see if I understand this right.” She said, and he appreciated that there wasn’t any kind of condescension in her voice, even though she very clearly thought he’d been dropped on his head as a baby. Possibly from the top of a three story building. “You have a large group of people working together to plan, organize and execute multiple services in your area - your community, if you will - that provide aid and support to those that otherwise would not receive it. Reaching out with your available time and resources to offer these services, that you provide. For free.”

Alright, Jason got it. He had stumbled ass backwards into creating a community outreach program. But he wasn’t just going to let her think she won this one. He was Red Hood, he had a reputation to uphold here.

“What makes you think any of that is free?” He tilted his head at just the right angle, the one that cast shadows across the planes of his helmet and made him look hell-touched and terrifying. “Just because we don’t charge money, doesn’t mean there isn’t a price to pay.”

Dr. Nightingale, dressed like a damn kindergarten teacher, laughed at him.

#dpxdc #jazz fen #jason todd #social worker jazz #social worker jazz fenton #anger management ship #anger management #pre anger management #jason todd x jazz fenton #i don't know why i keep writing scenes where Jazz writes resumes to apply to work for crime bosses but it just feels right in my soul okay #the real reason Jason wears a full face helmet is so people can't tell when he utterly fails to hide his emotions about something #the idea of social worker jazz working in crime alley has completely consumed me mind body and soul

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headspace-hotel · 1 year

Text

facts about The Fear, after 20 years of life with her

The Fear is NOT:

an intruder, invader, or some other entity from "outside" You

inappropriate, wrong, or incorrect

a responsibility

a punishment

"irrational" or otherwise able to be understood through a relationship to "rationality"

an "inaccurate" representation of reality

The Fear IS:

an innate part of you

extra-rational—she exists outside and completely independent from "rationality" and does not respond to being judged according to that lens

self-love—her purpose is to protect you and keep you safe

self-sufficient—fear is a 100% whole, complete entity that doesn't "represent" or "reflect" something else

earnest—fear is always a 100% real experience that is exactly as it is felt, and, needing no comparison or reference to any external reality, it is not "dishonest" or "inaccurate"— it asserts a claim about only itself

subversive [not quite the word I am looking for but it will have to do]— is not necessarily beholden to social and cultural norms of what should be feared, how much, and how you should respond. She does not stop existing in the absence or suppression of vocabulary to describe her.

a demand for care— she does not just communicate to you but to the community you are part of; she calls attention to an obligation that this community has toward you, to make sure that you are safe within it and that your experiences are heard and understood.

yeah, so, i've had severe anxiety for my whole life and the way it's been treated and dealt with, and the way I've been taught to understand it, has really fucked me up so I am trying to lay the groundwork for understanding it differently

I think it's pretty fucked up that we're taught to see anxiety as deceptive or inaccurate. Now, obviously the images or projections in my fearful thoughts do not usually "reflect reality," but I have come to see this as...not particularly important?

Teaching an anxiety sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict "irrational" fear is, in my opinion, the same as teaching a chronic pain sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict pain with no clear physical source. You might as well speak of "irrational" pain, and pain has the same relationship to rationality that fear has.

"Irrationality" is a quality assigned to fear that is judged by an outside observer, or by the collective cultural biases and hang-ups of a society, as not appropriate to a given situation. This is total fucking nonsense and we should be talking about that, because...well, the first reason is that it implies some kind of fixed standard for what fear ultimately is and isn't for. i like to tell people to watch one of those Coyote Peterson videos where he's going to get a tarantula hawk wasp to sting him, because he's obviously having a strong physical fear response, even though he knows it won't kill him. Is it "rational" to fear suffering and not just death? How much suffering? Sit with that one a little while.

The second reason, which is even more convincing, is that the "rational" brain is not consulted at any point, ever, when a person feels afraid. It's just a response. The fear response is not routed through the conscious, sapient, reasoning brain. And thank God, because if we needed to hear back from an upstairs executive before we could decide whether to run from a lion, our species would be extinct.

Techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy were absolute fucking shit at making my life any better, but fantastic at wrecking my ability to identify my own emotions, because Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety basically amounts to trying to brainwash yourself into thinking you don't feel the emotions that you do. It's a really neat way to develop bizarre psychosomatic symptoms and start experiencing anxiety through constant body pain, swollen lymph nodes, and digestive issues.

For an institution that pathologizes having "alters," psychiatry sure loves to encourage a suffering person to view normal and ultimately good parts of themselves as distinct, intruding entities to be shoved in a closet somewhere.

And yes. Fear is ultimately a good part of you, a part of you that loves you.

What began to set me free was feeling that acid terror and sickness and rage course through my body and realizing—really realizing—that I was being illuminated with this ancient, powerful force driving me to LIVE.

I want us to make it. I want you to live.

And you know what, I want me to live too.

I abandoned the doctrine of calming down—Lord knows it had never worked anyway—and started really just exploring and existing in the Fear.

How did that feel? Bad. Very very very very very bad and really not productive or helpful at all initially. Which was unavoidable. Necessary. She had been frantically clawing to communicate with me for so long, and I had been shutting her away, silencing her, resenting her presence in my psyche. I started trying to show gratitude toward the signals my body gave me. I started trying to show gratitude toward her—and i guess the Fear was a Her now, this just seemed more respectful.

And it seemed like nothing happened, but several things happened.

I stopped searching for validation. That was a big one. At some point I just...stopped needing a "reason" or justification for the fear I felt (trauma???? neurodivergence???? neurodivergence trauma????) and the fact that I experienced it became completely sufficient and satisfying to me. So much guilt and confusion disappeared.

I also became steadily more confident about my own boundaries, particularly in regards to recovery.

It's awful now that I think about it, but I think I felt this sense of almost moral obligation towards "recovery," as if I needed to "overcome fear" to be Courageous and Virtuous. It made me feel crushing guilt to feel any hesitation about this.

But then this started to change. It became more real to me that was the only person affected by the steps I did or didn't take toward recovery, and there was no moral dimension to it. A therapist couldn't put me in a box I wouldn't willingly go into.

Freedom from these judgmental frameworks is really important to me. I think that I always hated the idea of getting "better" because it seemed like "better" would mean just getting better at submitting to things I was afraid of while everything felt just as bad as it always did on the inside.

And on some level—even though I could never put it into words at the time—I violently hated the idea of "recovery" from some of my fears because it seemed like the ultimate denial of agency. I didn't want to "become okay with it"—the possibility felt dehumanizing. It felt awful.

And I realize now that this is because The Fear represented something I needed to have a right to. Many of my most life-destroying fears centered around things being done to my body, and if I could have pressed a button and been no longer afraid, I wouldn't have, even though it would have spared me so much suffering, because...I needed it to be okay to want agency over my body. I needed it to be right. The Fear, in this case, was a demand that my body be treated as sacred.

I realized that there were many cases where The Fear was a territorial claim of sorts, a demand that certain needs be honored and met—She needs this. This is FUCKING non-negotiable.

And it really...prompted me to look backward on my life and see The Fear differently: not as a responsibility I had failed to shoulder (me?? a little child??? responsible?? Responsible for being brave, when every day felt like facing a firing squad?????) but as a collective responsibility

Because I was not alone in those memories—I was surrounded by adults that saw me suffering, and often dismissed, ignored or ridiculed it. The Fear grew larger and larger; why?—to protect me. Because teachers, nurses, doctors, and camp counselors did not do any of the thousand thousand things they could have done to make that little girl feel safe. Because my well-meaning parents praised me when I was "brave" but I, a little kid, literally couldn't communicate how awful it always felt.

The Fear was not there to torture me. The Fear was and is doing her best to keep me safe. It's not wrong, there's no need for guilt. It just is.

It doesn't feel good. But maybe one day it will feel better.

#anxiety #mental illness #psych critical #autism

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reiding-writing · 3 months

Note

omg, part two for roommates? It was so good

ROOMMATES [PART TWO]

/ˈɹu(m)ˌmeɪt/ /part one/

when you and spencer share a room together on a case, you find yourself a little out of character at the revelation you'll have to share a bed with him.

WARNINGS: cold but not antagonistic reader

spencer reid x cold!reader || fluff?? || 1.4k || series masterlist!!

a/n: is this too much cold!reader back to back? maybe, but this is my blog so i make the rules love yall

main masterlist!!

You woke up cold, your fingers unwelcome against the skin of your cheeks as they spread the stark chilliness that your extremities are feeling over your eyelids.

Whilst not entirely surprising, being so cold in a hotel room that was meant to be built for negative temperatures felt a little too unlikely to be true with no extraneous variables.

You found yours almost immediately, you were only half-covered in the bedsheets, the rest balled up around Spencer as he laid with his back to you.

You glanced around in the dim light, trying to locate your lost part of the blanket. But it was tightly wound around Spencer, making it clear that reclaiming your portion without waking him would be an impossible task.

You sighed softly, trying to think of a solution that wouldn’t involve waking him up, but the more you thought about it, the less feasible it seemed.

Frustrated, you tried to tug at the blanket gently, hoping against the odds that you could retrieve some of it without disturbing him. To no surprise whatsoever, Spencer stirred, turning to face you with sleepy eyes.

“Mmm… what time is it?” he mumbled, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Early, go back to sleep,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice steady under the softness of his gaze. “And stop hogging the sheets.”

Spencer quickly let go of the blanket, allowing you to take hold of it. “Sorry,” he murmured before turning back around and falling back asleep almost immediately.

You stared at him for a moment, surprised by how easily he‘d managed to fall back to sleep. But then again, it was Spencer. He was a different breed of person.

Wrapping the blanket around yourself, you laid back down and tried to get some more sleep. But as you watched Spencer sleeping peacefully with his back to you, you couldn’t help but feel a strange warmth spreading in your chest.

Despite the cold and the uncomfortable lump in the mattress, you found yourself on the verge of smiling against the sheets pulled up to your nose.

But you quickly banish the thought, reminding yourself that this was just a one-time thing.

A necessity due to circumstances. Nothing more.

You close your eyes, letting sleep take over once again.

The comfort of sleep eludes you, however, your mind plagued by the unconscious Spencer that lay not too far from you. You don’t know why it was now that you were having such an issue with falling asleep in his presence. You'd managed to bury the thought earlier, why could you do it now?

The silence of the room seemed to only amplify everything rampaging through your mind, and you turn to your other side, your back to Spencer as you try to clear your mind.

The sound of his soft breathing lulls you, a comforting rhythm in the otherwise silent room, and you feel yourself starting to drift off, the day's exhaustion catching up to you.

However, just as you're about to succumb to sleep, you feel a shift in the bed.

Spencer's moving.

His movements are slow, sluggish with sleep, and before you can process it, you feel his arm drape over your side, his body pressing against your back.

The surprise of his touch jolts you awake and you freeze completely, unsure of what to do. His breath fans against the back of your neck, a warm contrast to the cool air of the room.

You ponder your options. Should you move and risk waking him? Should you stay put and pretend to be asleep? If he woke up like this you know that he’d spiral into a pit of embarrassment and you’re not sure that you want to deal with that.

It also wasn’t the worst position, but that’s something that your mind would even let you consider.

You opt for the latter of the two options, deciding not to disrupt his sleep.

Your heart pounds in your chest, the rhythm deafening in your ears as you will yourself to just fall asleep and relieve yourself of the torture you’re enduring. You take a deep breath, trying to calm your racing thoughts and after what feels like an eternity, your body relaxes and you slowly drift back to sleep, Spencer's arm a comforting weight around you.

When you wake up the next morning, the events of the night feel like a distant dream. Spencer is already awake, sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to you as he speeds through the pages of a novel in his lap.

The memory of his arm around you sends a warm flush through your body, although the memory is so distant you can’t even really be sure it was real. You were half asleep after all.

The fact that Spencer seemed so relaxed also supports your theory that it might’ve been a sleep-induced hallucination. There was no way he’d be so casual if he’d known he’d done that.

But it felt too real to have not have happened.

As you rise from the bed, you make a silent vow to yourself. This was a one-time thing. It wouldn't happen again. You wouldn't let it.

But as you catch Spencer's eye and he gives you a sleepy smile, you can't help but wonder if that's a promise you can actually keep.

“Good morning, how did you sleep?” He closes the book with a small ‘thud’ sound, smiling half-awkwardly in your direction.

It takes you a second to process that he’s speaking to you, and he takes your silence as a sign that you’re still mad at him for taking the sheets.

“I’m sorry for what happened last night,”

Your eyes snap to his at his apology. So he did remember clinging to you like a koala then.

“I move a lot in my sleep, so I must’ve accidentally pulled all of the sheets in my direction,”

Nevermind.

“It’s fine Reid.” The grogginess still lacing your tone doesn’t do any help in making you sound genuinely okay with what had happened, nor does the narrowing of your eyes under the morning light that makes you look like you’re intentionally staring daggers into his forehead.

“Okay- Sorry-” He hated how intimidated he was by you sometimes, especially considering he knew you weren’t trying to be intimidating in the moment.

You were just half-asleep and sensitive to the bright lights, and yet you still managed to make him feel like one wrong word would be like hand-writing his death certificate.

God only knows what he would be thinking if he knew he’d spent half the night with his chest to your back.

“Stop apologising, I said it was fine,” You rub your eyes with your fingers, the way you pinch your nose bridge again serving to make you look way more angry than you actually were and sending Spencer down another internal-panic at the idea of you secretly being annoyed with him.

“Right, sor-” He stops himself halfway through his sentence, pressing his lips into a tight line with a short nod. “Uhm, Hotch said to meet down in the lobby in half an hour,”

You exhale heavily as you drag your palm down your face, humming absently as Spencer relay’s Hotch’s order to you.

You get out of the bed with a stretch and a yawn, and Spencer thinks it might be the most ‘human’ he’s ever seen you be — probably because he couldn’t see your expression with your back turned to him.

“I’m going to change,” You announce your departure to the shared bathroom as you grab your clothes for the day from your bag, giving him ample opportunity to stop you if he wanted to use the bathroom for something before you did. You knew he wouldn’t either way.

“Alright,” He gives you a slightly nervous nod as you shut the door behind you, messing with the leather spine of the book in his hands.

The first thing you do once you’ve got your privacy is soak your face in cold water, hoping that it’ll wash away the memory of how Spencer’s arm felt around your waist with your sweat.

But he didn’t know that. And you weren’t planning on telling him anytime soon.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fluff #mgg #asks 🫶

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happy74827 · 6 months

Text

Bittersweet Blunders

[Mike Schmidt x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: In what was supposed to be the "perfect date" turns into an absolute dumpster fire of a night. Fortunately for Mike, you couldn't care at all about it.

WC: 4295

Category: Mega Fluff

So it seems that a lot of people like my Mike fics (yay), so I wrote another one because why not. At this point, my entire masterlist will just consist of this man, and I'm 100% here for it. Also, I don't know why fluff is the hardest for me to write, but this is my attempt at a full-on cuteness overload without a drop of angst (I apparently live for the drama), so we'll see how this goes.

『••✎••』

You were a very bubbly, cheerful person. You always thought that it was one of the best qualities that someone could have, and while it wasn't always the case, it always helped you in the past to brighten up anyone's day, as well as the other way around. You were always the life of the party, and you'd always make sure that everyone had a great time whenever you were with them.

It was probably one of the reasons Mike had liked you so much, though it had taken him quite some time to admit it to himself. He didn't want to believe it at first; after all, Mike was usually the guy who kept his feelings in, but as time went on, he couldn't keep denying the fact that he liked your presence and always wanted to be around you.

For him, you were a ray of sunshine in his otherwise very dull life. Sure, Abby had been a joy, and still is, but you... you were just special in a way that Mike couldn't explain. You had a certain quality about you that he couldn't describe, and he's never been able to figure out what it is that made you stand out so much to him. You were the complete opposite of him. His black clothes, your bright smile. His gloominess, your cheerfulness. His silence, your bubbly voice. His abrasive demeanor, your kind words.

Even though you were completely opposite of him in personality, there was one thing that you both shared in common. You were both attracted to each other in a way that you couldn't explain, even to yourself. But it was a feeling that you were sure of, and the fact that you're finally together made you realize why.

When he had started dating you, it had been like the clouds parted for him. The sky cleared up, and everything felt right again. He felt like his life was finally stitching itself back together, and suddenly, he and Abby were a lot closer, too. It was almost like a weight was lifted off of his chest, and he was finally able to breathe again.

Your relationship was very new to him, as you were the first relationship he'd ever had. But now that you were with him, he wouldn't have it any other way. You were just... you. You made him happy in a way that no one else had, and he was determined to make sure that you felt the same way.

Of course, you felt the same way.

For you, Mike was your best friend. He had been the one person who'd been able to make you smile in your worst moments. He was always there when you needed him, and you'd always made sure to do the same thing for him. He was your ray of sunshine despite him not acting much like one. You loved the little things that made him tick, like his strange fascination with coffee and the fact that he always had a blanket in the car with him, just in case he was tired or cold. It made him feel like home to you.

And it was exactly how Mike felt with you, too, obviously for different reasons, of course, but all the same. He loved every single thing about you, no matter what. Your personality, your voice, even the way you walk, he loved every single bit of it. The first time you two had kissed, it was almost as though fireworks were going off all around you both, and Mike could've sworn he heard angels sing as well.

You were a ray of sunshine to him, and now that you were in his life, he couldn't see himself without you. He loved you more than he could say, and he was determined to show that to you, always.

That's why he decided he would take the day off of work to plan out the perfect date for you two. He didn't know exactly what you were into; you always seemed to be good with anything, but he knew he had to try and do something nice. After all, you were worth it. You were the most special person in his life, second to Abby, of course, but special just the same.

So he set off to find you a nice place to have dinner, a thing neither one of you had done since the start of the relationship. You had usually just eaten at his place or gone somewhere that served coffee (somewhere more in Mike's price range), but he wanted something a bit fancier; after all, today was special, and he saved up enough to make it happen. He wanted you to have a nice day out, just like you always did for him whenever he had a bad day.

He eventually found you a place, a fancy Italian restaurant that he thought you would like, and made reservations for a place with a nice view of the sunset, just so you could watch it with him. It was going to be a great night.

Of course, it had been the complete opposite of what Mike had thought it would be. Two hours before the planned evening, the person covering his job for him just had to cancel on him at the last minute, leaving him to panic. He hadn't told you the surprise for the evening at all, so he had to make several, several calls just to find a replacement for his job and then to find a babysitter for Abby. Max... Well, Max wasn't around much anymore, and since you were the usual babysitter for Abby, it took Mike a while to find someone who was available, and even when he did, it took nearly twenty minutes for them to show up.

But he got it fixed and done in good time. His car was a little bit messy, and his "nice" shirt might have been a little wrinkly for the occasion, but to see the smile on your face when you got to his car made it worth it.

"You're wearing a tie," you commented, your face full of surprise as you hopped inside

"What can I say? It was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing," Mike replied, turning the ignition and starting the car. He looked back at you, the smile on your face making his heart flutter just as much as it had the first time he'd laid his eyes on you. "Did I, um... You look great."

You were wearing a very nice dress, something that Mike had always loved on you, and it fit you very well. It was a light pink color, with a flowy skirt and a short-sleeved top, but it complimented you so well that he wondered why he hadn't seen it on you before. It made you look stunning, in his opinion.

"Thanks," you replied. "You look pretty handsome yourself, Mikey."

Oh, how he loved that nickname. It was one of the few things that Mike loved hearing you call him, even if it was in a joking matter. It made him feel special when he heard it, like you were just so happy to be around him that it was just another way of saying so. He smiled as he pulled out of the driveway, the engine rumbling below his feet. "So, you hungry?"

"Oh, yeah," you said, "I could totally eat."

Mike smiled. "Good ‘cause I found us the most amazing Italian restaurant, and I think you'll love it,"

Mike was right, of course. You did love it. The atmosphere was perfect, and the scenery was divine, with the sun setting in the distance and the colors it created splashed across the sky. Mike had even thought ahead to get a table right next to the window to give you the perfect view. Unfortunately, the sight from the entrance was the only view you got to see.

When it got to the hostess, it turned out that they had accidentally given his reservation to a family with four kids, and you and Mike were now stuck in between a large family with several children and the bathroom. The food had already been ordered and delivered to your table, but you didn't even get a chance to start your meal before you heard the sounds of a crying baby. And when you looked up, you were faced with a crying child who seemed to be a year or so younger than Abby, sitting on the table in front of you.

You tried to ignore it at first, hoping that they would fall asleep and stop crying, but the baby didn't seem to be willing to stop any time soon, and it seemed you weren't the only one who was annoyed by it. You glanced over at Mike and you realized that he looked about one second away from punching the baby and throwing it across the restaurant.

You decided to take action before he could do that.

"How's... uh, work going?" You asked, trying to make conversation as you sat up a little bit straighter and began to wipe your fingers clean, preparing yourself for whatever came next.

Mike didn't answer, instead choosing to grunt.

You decided to try and lighten the mood just a little bit. "It can't be that bad. You're still alive."

Just as the words left your mouth, the baby started crying even louder. You looked over at the family that was sitting in front of you and noticed that none of them looked like they were planning to do anything about it. Great parenting

"That baby might not be," he grumbled, not even bothering to keep his voice down anymore. "Even Abby and her tantrums don't make me want to run into traffic, and they're on a whole other level,"

"A crying child is not going to make you run into traffic, Mike," you replied.

"It might," he argued. "I might."

You laughed, shaking your head at the man sitting in front of you. "Have you always been this dramatic?"

Mike was quiet for a moment before shrugging and letting out a sigh. His annoyance allowed you to take a look at his features for a moment, something you hadn't really done for a while. Usually, when you two hung out, he was always so busy that you didn't really get to notice the difference in expression and stance he would usually have, but now that you were finally able to look at him, you noticed a slight change in him. He looked... tired, you'd say. Tired, but at the same time, happier than he usually was. You couldn't exactly tell how he was feeling at the time, probably complete annoyance because of the crying baby, but he did look like he was smiling just a bit more than usual.

And you loved seeing it. You loved seeing him happy, even if it wasn't the happiest situation that you two could've been in. You still wanted to see his smile, and you couldn't help but smile yourself at how happy he looked when he was around you, even with all the surrounding annoyance.

"Do you remember," you began, "when we first started dating? You were so nervous, and you were scared that you were gonna mess it up, and I said to you that there was no way you could ever do that, right?"

"I mean, it's not like you were lying," he shrugged, leaning back against his chair, picking up a glass of water, and taking a small sip. "I was a mess."

"Well, you still are a mess, a hot one but still... you got over it, didn't you?" You smiled.

Mike paused for a moment, placing his glass down on the table again. He was silent before he glanced up at you. His eyes were wide, and he almost looked... stunned. He was definitely surprised.

"It's not rhetorical, Mikey, but I'm going to take that as a yes," you continued.

"That was... that was different," he said.

"Well, yeah, of course it was," you replied. "That was a few months ago. Now it's a crying baby who you believe is ruining your life,"

He rolled his eyes and sighed, clearly annoyed by the whole thing. You knew that he wasn't actually upset; however, if he were, you'd have felt him shift in his seat like he always did when he felt uncomfortable or uncomfortable. But he hadn't moved a single bit. He wasn't even fidgeting. He just sat there and kept staring at you.

Mike never said anything, though, and neither did you. You just kept staring at each other, even when the baby eventually stopped crying. For a moment, there was peace, a sort of silent bliss that you couldn't exactly explain, and then the peace was suddenly ruined again.

Mike had wanted a refill of his drink, and when the waiter returned with a pitcher and many other drinks from various tables, the serving plate somehow made its way down Mike's shirt and all over his clothes, the various liquids from water to alcohol all splattered on his clothes. And Mike? Mike didn't even flinch. He closed his eyes and sighed, gritting his teeth and tensing up a bit, and you saw that he was clenching the sides of his chair with his hands, but otherwise, he didn't make any other movements, no reaction at all. Then, to make matters worse, the baby started crying again.

Mike and you both stared at each other again, your eyes wide and your mouths slightly parted. You knew exactly how Mike was feeling, and you wanted nothing more than to do something about it, but you didn't know what to do.

"Mike, do you—" you began, feeling really bad for him.

"I need to... go to the bathroom," he interrupted you, and you nodded in response. He stood up from his seat, walked around you and the other family, and then headed towards the bathroom. You were left to sit in your seat, staring at the family in front of you as they ate and chatted amongst themselves. You didn't say anything, but you weren't exactly happy with what was happening, either.

You glanced over to the bathroom door, hoping that Mike would come out of there soon so you could ask him if he was okay, but you were unable to leave. The waiter came back a few minutes later with a towel to help Mike clean off the liquid from his clothes, and once he had it in hand, you found the strength to leave your seat and follow Mike into the bathroom.

You didn't step inside, however, instead choosing to lean against the wall by the entrance. The bathroom was a lot emptier than the restaurant was, and it seemed a lot quieter, too, the only sound that you could hear coming from the faucet by the sinks. You stared at the door for a moment, just a moment, before calling out to the man inside.

"Mike, are you okay in there?"

It took Mike a moment to respond to you. "Uh... Yeah. I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine," you replied.

"Well, I am," he replied. He sounded annoyed.

"You don't sound like it," you commented.

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

You paused for a moment, glancing around the room as you thought of a response. You decided to just tell him what was on your mind. "Do you want to leave? We can go."

You heard the bathroom door open, and Mike stepped out from it, standing in front of you, his eyes staring straight at your own. He was soaked despite all the paper towels he must've used to dry himself off. You handed him the small towel you'd been handed, and he took it from you with a small nod. He ran it through his shirt and thighs for a moment before looking at you.

"You sure?" He asked with a pinch of hesitation in his voice. He looked nervous. No, he didn't look nervous. He looked... guilty. His eyes were sad, and he seemed worried about something. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he couldn't find the right words.

You had a feeling what was going on in his mind, so you just took the lead for him. With a smile, you both returned to your seat momentarily to pay the bill and tip the waiter before making your way out to the parking lot. You climbed into the car, and Mike started the engine. He still had a very noticeable frown on his face as he turned to you.

"It looks like it's going to be a great night," he sighed, letting out a heavy sigh. His eyes shifted upwards to the clouds, and you noticed the very visible storm that was brewing in them. "Sorry. I guess I just... It didn't go the way I thought it would."

"It's still early," you replied, placing your hand over his. He looked back at you with wide eyes, clearly not expecting you to be as calm as you were. You smiled at him, squeezing his hand gently. "And I have the perfect idea of what we could do."

He raised a brow at you, his eyes suddenly looking curious. The frown was gone now and replaced with a small, barely visible smile. You had to resist the urge to hug him right then and there.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"You'll find out when we get there," you whispered and smiled, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek. "Just listen to my directions. I'll be your personal navigator."

Your navigator skills were definitely off the charts that night, and even you were surprised you didn't get lost. You made some accidental wrong turns and had to double back once or twice, but other than that, you were able to get you and Mike to your destination just fine. The night sky was still covered with clouds, and there was a very faint sound of thunder in the distance, but you figured you had at least a good hour or so.

The view, though. You couldn't have picked a better spot to have. There was a tree right next to a small, grassy hill that you sat at, the only place where Mike and you could be comfortable while you stared up at the sky. You had Mike's emergency blanket, and he had his hoodie (that might have smelt like utter hell, but he refused to wear anything else after the incident earlier that night), and the stars. It was like the clouds had separated just to show you the beauty of the night sky, and the two of you were lucky enough to witness it. The sun was long gone, and the moon was peeking out from behind the clouds, its bright glow casting a shimmering reflection onto the grass below. It was a moment that you'd never forget.

"How's the date going so far now?" You asked Mike with a smile as you sat next to him. "Think this is an improvement?"

Mike shrugged. "Maybe I should stop planning the dates, and let you plan them from now on."

You smiled at him. "I like it when you plan the dates, Mike."

He frowned for a moment, but the look on his face suggested otherwise. "Really? Because there had been not one good one in the past... I dunno, two years? Even when we were still trying to work out the friendship to the relationship thing."

You shrugged, moving closer to him. "What can I say? I like the surprises, and you never were that spontaneous on your own."

"Is that what you like about me?" He asked. "My non-spontaneity?"

You glanced up at him, smiling as you took in his features again. You loved looking at him. He was handsome. And you loved the look in his eyes. They were filled with adoration, and they were looking straight into yours. He leaned down a bit and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"You have other qualities, too," you replied. “Good ones.”

"Like what?" He asked, his lips ghosting over your skin as he spoke.

"You make a great cup of coffee," you began, letting out a small giggle as he continued to kiss your forehead, moving slowly down towards your jaw. "And you're good at taking care of Abby. You can be funny if you try hard enough, and you're really cute when you smile."

Mike moved down towards your ear, gently nibbling on the lobe. His breath fanned over your skin, and you couldn't help but lean into him just a little. His hand slipped under your chin and gently pulled your head up, forcing your lips to meet with his in a soft kiss.

The first kiss was always special, in Mike's opinion. You were always so soft, so gentle, but also so firm, so loving. It was one of his favorite feelings, and he was so lucky to have you in his life, he couldn't believe it.

When you pulled away from the kiss, you didn't move too far away from him, resting your head against his shoulder instead. You closed your eyes and let out a sigh of contentment, and he leaned his head against yours, his hand resting gently on your knee as you both gazed at the moonlit sky.

"Mikey?" You asked after a moment, your voice soft and gentle as you spoke. You felt his head move in response, and you felt him take in a deep breath.

"Yeah?" He asked.

You looked up at him, smiling as you did. "I think this is our best one yet."

He didn't say anything for a moment. He stared down at you with his usual blank expression, but after a few seconds, the corners of his lips quirked up, and he was finally able to break out into a smile, one that was so much brighter than the one that he had earlier.

He kissed you again, and you couldn't help but melt into the kiss. Your hands went to his shoulders, and his hands wrapped themselves around your waist as he pulled you closer to him. You never wanted to leave his side.

You loss track of time from there. You both were lost in the moment, in the stars, in the blanket, in each other, and before either of you knew it, you felt the slight raindrops pelt against your skin, and the wind was growing stronger. Your hair whipped in front of your face, and smacked Mike in the cheek, but he didn't seem to care much, too caught up in kissing you.

You eventually pulled away, looking at the man in front of you. "We should... we should get going. You brought the umbrella, right?”

“Yeah, it’s right here," Mike nodded, grabbing it from the other end of the blanket and placing it above the two of you as the raindrops grew heavier. The thunder was louder now, but you and Mike were far too engrossed with each other to really notice it.

At least, not until tragedy struck when he went to pull up the blanket. One big strum of thunder and a burst of wind from above caused Mike to lose his grip on the umbrella, which went flying through the air and out of his grasp. You both watched it as it soared in the air, almost like you were in a daze, and then you realized the horrible thing that had happened.

The umbrella was gone. You and Mike were in the rain, and there was nothing around you to provide you any sort of protection from the downpour. The blanket was soaked within seconds, as were the two of you.

Well, technically, Mike already was.

Mike's smile had disappeared from his face when the umbrella had flown away, and now his frown had returned, only this time, it was quite humorous. He was absolutely dumbstruck, and he was just staring at the umbrella as it flew away into the night. You tried to hold back your laughter, but it was difficult, especially with the look on Mike's face.

“Great. Just great," he grumbled, grabbing your arm while making his way back towards the car. "That's just the icing on the cake."

“It’s like we’re in a rom-com," you commented as you followed him, laughing even more. "You're the oblivious man, I'm the funny girl who helps you figure out your feelings. It’s the climax of the movie, we're both drenched, and then we kiss in the rain,"

Mike glared at you, but the look was not genuine. You could tell, and it only made you laugh even more. "Yeah, yeah, let's just get to the car."

The two of you ran towards the car, and Mike jumped inside the driver's seat. You quickly got into the passenger's side before the door shut closed, and you let out a sigh of relief. You took a moment to catch your breath, and then you turned to Mike, a smile playing on your lips.

“Just so you know, those are my favorite type of rom-coms.”

Mike rolled his eyes. "And just so you know, I hate rom-coms."

You leaned over to kiss his cheek, letting out a soft giggle. "Better buckle up then, Romeo. After we find a towel and get home, we're watching the best rom-com of all time."

He rolled his eyes again, but you could tell that the small smile on his lips was genuine this time. "Let's just go before the car floods,"

You smiled, leaning back in your seat. "Sounds good, honey.”

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decolonize-the-left · 8 months

Text

I've noticed a rise in radfems/TERFs in feminism tags and more specifically trying to rebrand as The Real Feminism or True Feminism since it's "for the girlies" or whatever.

I am begging you all to help me bury them.

Because as a teen who grew up during the peak of exclusionary "bi/pan/aces aren't vaild" and "kill all men" era where the concept of misandry THRIVED I'm telling you this feels extremely similar.

And radfem/terf ideology got mainstream from those sentiments being so popular and so easy to tap into. It was framed as being righteous since men were oppressors.

"Women are good and men are just mean oppressors! Look at everything they've done!" is such a common sentiment in those circles.

It also completely lacks critical feminist thought.

And we're STILL dealing with the affects of it over a decade later.

.....So let's talk about JKR since she's currently the Figurehead and favorite of the movement that's trying to rewrite feminist history.

It's 2023. It's a year before a US election where Project 2025 and Trump would happily create a road for trans and queer folks to be imprisoned if not worse.

Which is I'm sure why JKR has been photographed and interacting with multiple members from The Heritage Foundation, people whove spoken for them, and people who attended theyre meetings. She even enjoyed watching Magdalen, who who she credits for becoming a TERF.

But do you know who Magdalen is? Or what else she was saying? What about any of the other people in the photo? Do you know the scope of what JKR was internalizing and how bad it was? Do you know she has ties to conservative anti-abortion groups?

Do you know what The Heritage Foundation? Probably not and they're the worst so let me tell you why it's such a huge red flag for her and other so-called TERFs and radfems to be associated with them.

Because I can tell you right now she heard a lot of things from those people and there is no fucking way in hell that it was just about queer people or just some sex-specific concerns. And it wasn't just passive bigotry.

Anyone who doesn't conform to the idea of a white, straight nuclear family (re: single mothers, leftists, immigrants, gay couples, etc) is made out to be an enemy of the state.

Anyone they can justify as a "national threat." Yes, they call us all a national threat on their site, their book, and the pamphlets they pass out to politicians. The details are listed on their website including the Mandate For Leadership which is their instruction guide for the next president.

I'm not exaggerating when I say it calls for genocide, prison camps, and eugenic cleansing.

Several people in that photo don't even support abortion, a basic women's rights that JKR claims to care about deeply.

JKR was consuming white supremacist dogma under the guise of feminism.

And she's not willing to admit or correct it which is where the problem lies. She won't even admit to herself that she was fooled or that it's bad or hypocritical.

My concern is that she is not the only person who's fallen for it and there are more everyday.

So it's very important to me y'all learn how to filter out what Actual Feminism is in this age where literal fascism is attempting to take its place.

Firstly,

Real, actual feminism will be welcoming to EVERYONE

Because the patriarchy doesn't only affect women or cis people or white women and it's an insult to every previous feminist icon to say otherwise.

Feminists have been fighting for decades to unite people under the concept that Patriarchy is a system that will be brought down with allyship and solidarity.

They've been fighting so hard and so long to prove that everyone deserves the same rights as men.

That women are just as capable as men and shouldn't be stopped from entering fields of study and sports dominated by men. They've been fighting to prove that women are just as capable and smart as any man is, that men would benefit from it dismantling patriarchy too.

Women fought side by side with the queer community to get Roe v Wade passed in 1973. You know why? Because despite what radfems and TERFs will tell you trans women benefit from protecting and standing up for bodily autonomy.

Do not let bigots tear drive a wedge between two groups that experience gender based oppression and would benefit from the same exact rights.

We have changed history together and they're terrified we'll do it again.

A screenshot from the largest feminist organization active right now, The National Organization of Women.

Notice how the T is included. They even posted this video two years ago when LGBT and specifically trans rights started really coming under attack in 2022.

Trans women are women.

Trans men are men.

ALL women deserve rights.

Every gender deserves equality and fairness.

And feminism is for all of us or it is for none of us.

Because nobody deserves to be treated the way patriarchy treats us.

#feminism #feminist #equality #gender #trans rights are womens rights are human rights #trans rights #womens rights #human rights #intersectional feminism #solidarity #leftist

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alicerosejensen · 4 months

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OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH

I JUST HAD A CUTE LITTLE SCENARIO IDEA. It is about vendetta! leon and young(20’s) reader series! What about reader sitting on the bathrooms counter/vanity while helping Leon shave? His hands are resting on readers tighs or around her waist as he watches her focused eyes. I THINK THAT WOULD BE ADORABLE PLS.

And i don’t think this counts as an ask, but if you’ll want to do something with this im not complainig hahah 👁👁

Warning: Fluff, mention of injuries, age difference (implied but not mentioned), Leon!Vendetta, Leon gets taken care of (this man needs a little love and devotion); talking about nothing.

I'm sorry, I'm too lazy. I write slowly and because of some eternally tired condition

Coming back to you after so many weeks of silence was wrong, or at least unfair. To tell the truth, Leon did not feel that he should have done it at all, the doctor recommended bed rest, but it was all the same. It was not the first time he had been thrown like a rag doll, although this time he felt like he was on the edge, dangerously balancing between life and death, when Aris's claws almost pierced his flesh. At least Leon thought he was going to die thinking about you- the only good thing in his life in recent years.

He wasn't even sure if you would let him in, but when he broke out of the dark tunnel, the whole flight he thought only about how nice it was to return to the person who, for some reason, cared about him. You weren't his wife, you weren't his work partner, you were just a girl. The girl he was afraid to fall in love with because he always thought that this love would hurt you. Although it seems that only one was injured, and it was Leon himself, who came up with stupid rules for himself to protect you.

And here he is, you look at him without any malice, although it would be worth it. Leon really doesn't think he has the right to show up like this without an invitation, but he does, looking into your eyes with a guilty look, hoping that you won't drive him away and let him lick his wounds while he lets you love him tenderly.

"Come in," you nod head, letting him into your tiny apartment, in which Leon felt better than at home.

Although it looked more like a lone wolf's lair. It was much more comfortable and even somehow warmer with you.

Taking a step, Leon feels not like a government dog, but an ordinary person who is taken by the hand and let into a small corner of paradise. Maybe it will last a day, two or a week, but he will be a little happy and loved.

"Should I heat up your dinner?" You ask casually, as if he wasn't ignoring you and running away to drown his problems in alcohol. "Leon?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

"Coffee?" Again you offer him, but he just shakes his head negatively as he sits down on the chair in front of you.

"No"

Maybe you think he came here to end all the little things that were between you, but no. He just needs you as a salvation, otherwise his head will drown in regret.

All Leon wants is for his fight not to be in vain, but every time someone else takes the place of the bad guy, and corporations continue to create viruses that turn people into bioweapons. He runs his hand over his face, feeling the annoying stubble under his palm that should have been shaved off, but having drowned in alcohol, he didn’t want to do anything.

“I just,” he looks at you with a hazy look but completely sober, “Can I stay here? With you?”

Who are you to refuse him? But be honest with yourself, you want him to stay here, especially since his beaten appearance really said that he was better off not being alone. Under the T-shirt, bruises and abrasions on the face and arms and what appears to be a dislocated shoulder are visible. In any case, wanted to believe that Leon didn’t break any bones.

"You know that my answer is yes"

Leon doesn't smile. Just eternally grateful that he won't have to sit in his dark, lonely apartment lying on his bed again after taking a strong painkiller.

He sleeps well with you, he doesn't have nightmares, and he's just comfortable here. You can turn on the TV, watch an old movie with you and lie quietly, knowing that he will not be called anywhere until he recovers. There was work left in New York for B.S.A.A and TerraSave, but not for him, besides, he didn't take a shower before coming to you, fortunately you had some of his things, including a spare toothbrush and a new disposable razor.

And that was the problem. The problem with his shoulder, which you kept looking at without stopping, as if he had grown a third arm.

“Working moments,” Leon muttered, feeling that he really wouldn’t refuse your dinner. “Can I ask you something else?"

“Yeah, sure.” You really never refused him.

Arias threw him against the wall, clearly sparing no effort, but thanks to the adrenaline, Leon didn’t feel much pain and was able to maneuver and attack this crazy bastard. The truth is that falling from a motorcycle does not benefit his body, which is why when everything calmed down, Leon realized that it was simply difficult for him to pick up the very razor that was now in your hands and do such a simple job as shaving.

“Just stay still, or better yet, sit down,” you said loudly, seeing that Leon didn’t like the touch on his neck when you tried to cover him with shaving foam.

It was already like instinct when they touched his neck. Leon immediately jerked to the side when he felt someone else's palm on his skin, as if the touch caused him pain. He never talked about how often he was grabbed by the throat, but from his reaction one could guess that this was a sensitive area that he did not like to trust to anyone but himself.

“I can’t shave you if you twitch like a little kid who doesn’t want to wash his face,” you joked, using your finger to spread the shaving foam you had on your hand onto the tip of his nose.

"Just...a reflex"

You thought about it, biting your lip, but Leon just exhaled, gathering his strength, knowing that you weren't going to kill him. He trusted you, so he calmly sat down on a small chair, putting his hands on your waist, trying to relax.

You saw how tense his muscles were, as if at any moment he was ready to make a jerk, his fingers squeezed the fabric of your tank top while you distributed foam over his face, trying not to overuse the product at the site of his abrasions that have not yet healed. When that was done, the razor in your hands gently touched the skin of his neck and gently shaved off excess hair from his face with smooth movements against the coarse hairs.

Carefully avoiding all the cuts, you managed not to hurt him. Step by step, you constantly rinsed the razor to remove all the hairs from it and walk it over the places where the stubble still remained. The most difficult thing for Leon was his neck - he felt too exposed and vulnerable, but when it was over and you moved to another zone, it seemed to you that he even exhaled.

In the end, getting carried away with the case, you didn't even notice how Leon was gradually able to relax and carefully watched your movements, finding you charming when you are so focused only on him. Maybe it's a little selfish, but for him you look so beautiful that he thinks about asking you to shave him again in a week when the stubble grows back, just to watch you take care of him again.

It took you a few minutes to catch his eye when you were completely done. The blue eyes stared at you with such attention that for a second you might have thought that something interesting was written on your face since he was looking at you like that. It's a little awkward and you look at him in response, stupidly blinking your eyes when you wipe his face with a towel, which makes a smile bloom on your lips and you look away.

"What's funny?"

To be honest, there really wasn't anything funny, it was just embarrassing for you.

"Did you leave me something like a mustache?" He joked and you burst out laughing

"Good idea! I'll do it next time."

Leon chuckled, because as a temporary joke, you could do that. That's just the accumulated fatigue that fell like a heavy boulder on him did not allow him to rejoice as much as you do.

"You're obviously going to amuse Chris," He sighed. You threw the razor into the sink and froze for a moment when you felt his head pressed against your stomach, relaxing in layers as you run your fingers through his hair "Thank you"

"No problem," you kissed the top of his head, helping him stand up, noticing how he hisses from the pain in his back when he straightens up.

"Fuck." Leon hisses in pain, catching his breath, realizing that maybe he should drink more painkillers and let a loved one take care of him. "I think I'm catching up with my age"

"Maybe. But I think you should rest and follow the doctor's recommendations at least until you stop needing painkillers."

"Until the next mission, you mean?"

You didn't say anything because you didn't know much about his work. After laying Leon on the bed, he finally exhaled with relief after looking at you with secret gratitude. Literally the only person who gives him warmth and comfort, and maybe he should come to you instead of washing down his bitterness in a bar. Thinking about it, Leon even thought that if he had stayed with you, he would not be suffering from his injuries now, however… What would have happened to Chris and Rebecca? But it's too late to regret what happened. He's alive and he's with you now. He lies in your bed listening to the usual chatter while the TV is on in the background and you settle down next to him bringing an extra blanket and pillow.

In the end, you just plopped down next to him, thoughtfully looking at the picture on the TV, pulling the blanket over yourself. Leon moved a little closer to you, hugging you around the waist, nuzzling your cheek, covering his eyes from fatigue. Of course you knew that he works for the government, but never what he does specifically. You saw the "DSO" marking on his gun, but you were afraid to ask him about it, although the fact that Leon has the right to carry and store weapons freely already hinted that he does not work in some average position and his injuries… one is worse than the other.

It is difficult to unravel the thoughts of this person, especially when he is completely immersed in himself. You know that he has some problems with alcohol and a couple of times you even quarreled about it, after which Leon always apologized by coming to you with flowers and other gifts. You turn off the light in the room, turning to him, meeting the tired gaze of blue eyes.

"Thank you. I rarely say this, but I'm grateful for everything you do for me."

"I know."

"Maybe you should find a better guy than me, but" he snuggled even closer and there was fear in his words, as if you could make him leave right now, "but I want to be with you. I can't lead a normal life, but being here with you feels like I'm becoming normal. Who he was before September 30, 1998"

"And what happened on September 30th?" you ask, putting your hand on his palm, smiling, and immediately see how noticeably even in the dark his face changes, becoming more gloomy.

"My first day working as a cop. I overslept and was late for my first day at work"

He could have said a lot and revealed his soul to you without fear if he hadn't been bound by the government. Raccoon City is classified information, and even no matter how much he values you, you shouldn't know anything about it. Fortunately, you do not pry into the truth, leaving his personal border untouched, and for this Leon is infinitely grateful. Maybe in a couple of weeks, when his injuries stop being so painful and his condition improves, he'll even laugh at what kind of mustache you made for him while shaving him again. He will really be happy and he will not need alcohol in this.

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