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dreambunnynotes · 2 months
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bunny's 60-day glow up challenge: my habits and goals ❤︎
hi angels, here are my personal habits and goals for the 60-day glow up challenge i'm doing! you can participate along with me if you'd like 🥰 let's get into it!
my chosen habits:
workout every day, stretching on rest days
get to bed by 10:30pm screen-free every night
practice piano every day
my goals and why's:
working out: i want to have my dream body and i want to feel more physically healthy and strong; i also want to be able to beat my brother in a fight lmao 😎 i'd also like to complete the body weight fitness build-up primer and then the bodyweight strength foundation routine to learn how to exercise properly and to say that i did it!
sleep routine: i absolutely neeeeed to improve my sleep schedule for the sake of both my mental and physical health; the early mornings are the only time i have alone so its perfect for getting up earlier; lucid dreaming will be much easier
piano practice: i run a creative business, and while i have to do many different creative things that i'd love to do as a habit, i think that if i can accomplish at least one of these creative essentials a day like piano it'll help build my discipline in the other areas of my business and life
my habit energy-tiers:
workout routine:
low energy: do a guided stretch in my bedroom after i wake up or before i go to bed
medium energy: complete bodyweight exercise routine or go for a walk
high energy: complete bodyweight exercise, stretching before and after, and go for a walk
sleep routine:
low energy: get into bed at 10:30pm and listen to audio
medium energy: get into bed at 10:30pm and go right to bed
high energy: get into bed at 10:30pm and do yoga nidra
piano practice:
low energy: run just the essentials for at least five minutes
medium energy: practice for 50 minutes
high energy: practice for 90 - 120 minutes
let's gooooo! ❤︎ bunny xoxo
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dreambunnynotes · 2 months
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bunny's 60-day glow up challenge ❤︎
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hi my loves! my birthday is right around the corner and i want to end the year strong, so i thought it would be a cute and encouraging idea to host a challenge for all of us glow-up girlies! the steps for the challenge are very simple and customizable, and they give plenty of space for low-energy days. this challenge is all about trying your best to remain consistent in your goals, not to strive for an impossible "perfection" but instead to build trust in yourself that you can show up for your beautiful self and achieve the glow up that you deserve!
steps for the challenge:
pick three habits or things you want to dedicate time to every day
write a sentence or two on why you want to focus on these habits so that you have motivation and inspiration to complete them on hard days; this could include a basic "why" or you could write out specific goals you'd like to achieve through these habits
write out three different energy level variations of the habits so you can achieve your habits even on low-energy days
optional step: write an intro post sharing your habits and goals with everyone! you can use the tag #bunny60days to connect with others doing the challenge and hype each other up with accountability and love - you can also tag me and i can cheer you on hehe! 🥰 otherwise you can simply keep track on your own using a journal or planner or whatever works best for you!
optional step: write daily (or weekly) check-in posts sharing what you accomplished on the different days of the challenge, what you'd like to improve on the next day, or just a general update on how you're feeling. remember that this is a feel-good challenge, not a shame-filled one, so be kind to yourself and use this reflection as a way to show compassion and empathy to yourself 💕 again, you can use the tag #bunny60days to track your progress and see how others are doing!
the only very important rule for this challenge:
if you fall off and don't complete every habit you've written down in a day, do not start the challenge over, just pick up from where you left off! remember, this challenge is about building self-trust and resiliency - this means that you won't let one bad day or break in a streak stop you from continuing your habits. being "strong and hardworking" doesn't mean doing everything perfectly from day one, it means picking yourself up when you fall off course and trying again even though you may feel imperfect.
why only three habits?
when we do challenges, it's so easy to want to accomplish everything all at once, from working out to sleep schedules to everything in between. however, when you eventually burn yourself out or don't complete everything on your super long list of habits, shame is bound to follow, and shame does not make healthy soil for a beautiful plant to grow. starting off with three habits with different energy levels is a good way to ease into habit building while still feeling challenging enough to be interesting.
i don't know where to begin! can you give me an example of some habits or goals?
absolutely! if you'd like an example, you can check out my own personal goals for the challenge here. i'll be participating too, so you know that you have at least one person joining you in your glow up! 🥰 there is also a blank template below for you to use for your own glow up adventure.
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blank template for you:
my chosen habits:
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-
-
my goals and why's:
habit one:
habit two:
habit three:
my habit energy tiers:
habit one:
low energy:
medium energy:
high energy:
habit two:
low energy:
medium energy:
high energy:
habit three:
low energy:
medium energy:
high energy:
let's do this! bunny xoxo
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dreambunnynotes · 3 months
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daily note: january 27th ❤︎
hello angels, long time no see! it's so nice to be back; i took a little break from tumblr for my mental health and i now feel reinvigorated, rested, and ready to document my daily progress. let's get into my first reflection of the year!
accomplishments:
worked for 2 hours on bookbinding; i completed a hand-bound notebook i had started yesterday and them got to work on a trickier hand-bound journal afterwards!
figured out how many books i would like to make in time for an upcoming market i am doing with my sister, and planned out my daily quota in order to reach my goal by the date
answered a few asks on my law of assumption tumblr; this is something that stressed me out for awhile because i have around 70 asks that i need to answer, but i figured out i could answer three asks a day and empty my inbox within 3 weeks, which seems like a really reasonable goal! speaking of determining my goals, i...
figured out a goal-setting system that actually works for me! it gives me self-imposed deadlines that are actually effective, and it cuts the goals up into short enough time frames that it makes them seem doable and exciting. i actually figured out this system a few days ago, but today i was able to implement it and it felt really nice! i'll try to make a post about it sometime soon if others are interested.
visited with my nephew and other family members
cleaned out my pets tank and did a complete overhaul of the soil that was overdue
listened to a bunch of edward art videos while i did bookbinding!
returned to this lovely tumblr to make a daily reflection at long last!
final thoughts:
that's all for now sweet peas! have a great day, take good care of yourself, and i'll see you tomorrow for my updated 2024 goals list and what i have accomplished so far since my last update! mwah ❤︎
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dreambunnynotes · 4 months
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hi lovelies, happy new year! 🥰 sorry for being absent, i was trying to focus on my mental health and just didn't have the energy to make new posts. however, things are really looking up for me after a really rough patch and i'm so excited to share the nice updates with you super soon :')
i plan to post an updated goals list since the new year is always a nice check-in, and also to post some progress i've made on my current goals - i've actually made a lot of exciting and surprising progress in an area i thought would be the hardest for me, and i'm so proud of myself!
i also plan to make a couple of posts based on things some people have sent asks about which i'm really excited to do :} these include a post on how to stay organized as well as sharing the systems i use to stay productive and restful.
have a great day/night, take care of yourself, and know that i'm rooting for you! 💗🌷
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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things to keep in mind before reading my blog:
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1.) self-improvement is not a "one size fits all" experience. my strengths, barriers, methods, and goals are going to be very different from everyone else's, and the methods, routines, and lists i post might not always apply to your life and might not be relevant to your experience at all. i am in no way claiming that my way is the only way; self-improvement is a very personal journey and it is through self-discovery that we learn what works best for us, which i encourage everyone to seek on this beautiful journey! ❤︎
2.) on this same note, this blog is a personal blog which means that i am posting my own unique-to-me self-improvement experience and not necessarily posting with anyone else in mind. please use discernment and only take what inspires you, leaving behind what doesn't. i ask that you do not attack me for posting what i am currently working on in my own journey, unless i am being harmful and need criticism. i am trying to not worry about what other people think of me and focus on my own self-improvement and i encourage you to do the same; keep your body and mind healthy and safe first and foremost, always!
3.) i am very aware of how detrimental the toxic positivity and productivity culture are, especially in north america where i am from, and i try to walk a fine line between discipline and play. my current journey is primarily focused on building up tolerance to discipline and hard work. if you are at a point in your journey where rest and recovery from over-working are integral to your growth, my posts might not be applicable to you and that is totally okay! i respect and support your journey, and please know that my need to focus on hard work at this moment is not in any way an attack on where you are at in yours.
4.) it is very important to me that the health and beauty related information i share is scientifically accurate and is not cultural appropriation. if i post something that is incorrect, insensitive, or harmful, please let me know and i will make sure to edit or take down the post and learn from my mistakes! accountability is important to me and i am always open to learning more.
5.) i do not follow people under the age of 18. it is nothing personal against you if you are a minor, it's just that it is important for me to follow people who are at a similar place in life as me and to make sure that the friends i make are within my appropriate age range. however, all people are welcome on my blog and it will ALWAYS be sfw! when i was a minor on tumblr, it was very important for me to follow adults that i looked up to and who were safe and treated me with respect so that i could grow and learn; you are welcome here, and i will always try to treat you and everyone i interact with with the utmost care and respect!
with love, bunny ❤︎
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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daily check-in: dec. 11th
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hi lovely friends! i missed my check-in on sunday and i was going to skip monday's because i had the mentality that i could just 'start again tomorrow,' but better habits are built today, not later! i'm trying to find ways to encourage myself to be disciplined and this is one of the ways i'm showing up for myself. monday felt like a huge success in terms of discipline and hard work without pushing myself, and i feel really proud!
please note: in this post i celebrate my lack of rest on monday because i often default to rest without discipline, so personally this was a success in developing a healthier work/play balance, focused on the 'work' part of things. however, everyone is in their own journey with self improvement and i absolutely do not advocate for overworking oneself generally - i believe that a good work/play balance is essential, i am just personally working on the work side of things so that is why i am proud of my lack of rest today!
accomplishments:
i followed through on my work obligations even though i felt super tired and wanted to reschedule; i have so few work obligations these days and i need the money so it felt really good to not cancel even though i wanted to. i only had to cancel one appointment at the very end of the day because i was starting to feel sick (everyone i know is getting a cold or flu these days) but i pushed through earlier in the day for every other appointment and still listened to what my body needed at the end of the day, which feels like a huge success for someone who often cancels her obligations!
i found a new way to enjoy tasks that normally stress me out, which is to listen to a podcast my sister recommended while completing mindless tasks. it made the tasks fly by and made doing them actually fun!
i put in a few hours of work on a project that has a deadline, even though i wanted to spend time doing leisurely things. i feel really proud of myself for accomplishing what i did!
room for improvement:
this is less about today specifically and more about the past week, but i should have gotten started on the project that has a deadline much earlier; i need way more time than i thought i would, which is of course chalked up to time-blindness. i need to find a way to give myself earlier deadlines; last night i researched how to create a sense of urgency for adhd brains and i think i've figured out a way to do this for myself. so, despite my flub in starting the project late, i am proud of myself because i was the one who sought out a deadline for the project in the first place and it has helped me lots!
still need to get to bed earlier; typing this at 12:30am is no good 😭
hohkaaaaay, i am SLEEPY (edit: posting this during the day after i slept lol). i seriously need to get my sleep schedule figured out, but i'm taking one step at a time. i'm calling this day a success, being compassionate to myself for where i made mistakes, and looking forward to another beautiful day today! have a wonderful evening and take care of your lovely self 🥰
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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weekly note: december 10th
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hello angels! i hope you're all taking good care of yourselves and having a lovely day. i'm excited for the week ahead, i'm going to try to go easy on myself this week while still making progress in order to build up better discipline! here are my goals for the week.
appearance and physical health:
find a way to romanticize an early sleep schedule to trick my brain into actually wanting to go to bed, oof. i'm going to try to make a post on this in case it helps anyone else out!
go to the gym at least once, and fight the perfectionist urge that says "if i miss it on monday or tuesday i shouldn't go at all" - i'll go when i have the energy and ability to!
drink way more water; girl the amount of crying i did this week it feels like i have to drink an ocean a day to catch up 😭 going to try to keep a water bottle by my desk and keep track of my water intake somehow.
studying and career:
figure out what i need to do to apply to the program and make a plan, including looking into bank loans and financial planning
work on sheet music arrangement for current song on guitar
get comfortable with all major scales, focusing on accuracy
look into what my favourite musicians studied so that i can make a more specific practice routine and remove barriers to practicing
mental and emotional health:
listen to what my heart needs! this past week i had some incredibly hard conversations that were very triggering and emotionally draining, and i can feel my little heart and mind are needing extra emotional rest right now. i am going to make sure i am connecting with people who bring me joy and not forcing myself to talk to people i don't want to talk to. i'm going to channel the sweet and caring energy of my departed best friend who taught me how to listen to my boundaries, and try to honour myself the way he did.
if i am feeling up to it, i am going to visit one of my friends who is in town for a show who i haven't seen in forever!
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lets have a great week, friends!
with love, bunny❤︎
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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hi! I saw your post about the plan to post your weekly schedule and appointments every Saturday and I just have to say I think it might be a bad idea, depending how specific and stuff people are creepy on the internet. It may just be smarter to make the list and keep it to yourself
OOOOF you're so right, thank you so much for sending this! I definitely should be more careful about this sort of thing - I often forget that tumblr isn't just a bunch of pals (😔) and even if I'm being vague in my details it could still be enough for someone to use against me. I've changed the post so that it's just about my tasks and goals instead so that I can be safer. Thanks so much again for your concern! 🥰
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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my glow-up diary schedule
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hello lovely friends! i'm back from my break and i'm very excited to try out a new posting schedule i've created based on what has worked for me so far. thanks so much to everyone who followed me while i was away, i'm so grateful you're here and i hope my blog can be a safe and comfortable place where you feel inspired to grow and be your best self! this might be adjusted as i continue to figure out what works best for me, but so far this is what i have lined up:
weekly task masterlist:
every saturday, i will post a list of all of my deadlines and optional tasks for the week. almost all of my deadlines are self-imposed, and that is tricky when combined with having adhd. having a masterlist of all the tasks i need to get done and encouraging myself to get as many done in a week as possible is a really good motivator for me, especially knowing i'll be posting my results on this blog!
glow-up habit of the week:
to accompany my weekly task masterlist, i will decide on one glow-up habit to focus on that week. habits take time to form, so this will help me stay on track consistently until the habit is implemented successfully. each glow-up habit will have a different timeline; some will be easier than others and could take only a week to solidify and some will be harder and need reflection and adjustment. i am hopeful that by reflecting on one habit at a time, adjusting to my needs and limitations will be easier and i'll be more successful and have more self-compassion in the long run!
daily reflection:
every day (or as often as i can) i will make a post about the tasks i accomplished, where i could have improved, and a check-in on my mental health. combining the daily reflection with my weekly masterlist will encourage me to fill up my days with meaningful tasks and will give me deadlines that are (hopefully) helpful.
lifestyle lists:
i absolutely looove making self-improvement and glow-up posts! these won't have a weekly schedule as i'll just post them whenever i feel inspired, but i also take requests and would be happy to make lists for any ideas you have.
with love, bunny 🌸
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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hey friends, sorry i haven't posted my usual updates, i'm still getting into the swing of my routine and i'm doing a bit of a reset this week since my brain has been so blah! will be back to posting daily or almost-daily updates soon, probably going to return this weekend or whenever i feel a little more settled/organized :) hope you're treating yourself with kindness and lovely and taking care of yourself the best that you can! ♥︎
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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glow-up diary archive
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old format:
november 16th - daily checklist november 16th - daily reflection november 17th - daily reflection november 25th - weekly reflection november 26th - weekly goals november 26th - daily reflection
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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weekly goals: nov. 26th ❤︎
i am feeling so much more optimistic about this wonderful new week! here are the plans that i have, the appointments that are lined up, and the goals that i hope to achieve by the end of the week:
appearance and health:
go to the gym at least three times; tuesday, thursday, saturday
complete my full morning routine for a week
try my new skincare routine for a week and see how my skin does
try a beginner pilates exercise on youtube; wednesday or friday
studying and career:
get all major scales up to 120 bpm on guitar by sunday
get comfortable with the guitar arrangement of "once upon a time"
try learning the arrangement that i found on youtube to compare
get comfortable with the finished arrangement i made of "once upon a time" on piano; film it and put it in a dedicated folder
organize personal user account on computer a little bit every day so that it is organized and easy to use by sunday
personal, work, & appointments:
go to craft store to purchase bookbinding supplies
decide on present i am making for therapist
message "n" finally about hanging out
have a video call with "s" about our art creations this month
see "p" at their art show on the 30th
therapy workshop on wednesday
final therapy appointment on friday, wahhh :'c
mental and emotional health:
get my sleep schedule under control; romanticize the heck out of going to bed early by sunday so i can feel good about my days
solidify my dream life scripts so that manifesting is easier for me
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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daily reflection: nov. 26th ❤︎
today was a really, really good day in terms of getting things done and feeling positively about myself! my mental health really improved once i figured out my direction for the week, so that's good for me to know for the future. anyway, here is my reflection on the day:
accomplishments:
i did my whole morning routine and felt so great about it! checking off a to-do list first thing in the morning really gives me the structure i need to feel safe and motivated, i really love it so far.
i had an amazing guitar lesson; we came up with a fantastic plan for a long-term guitar project and i am so thrilled to be motivated again! my teacher is everything i had hoped for when searching for someone to work with and i couldn't have asked for a more empathetic and knowledgeable person to learn from 😭 they also seemed genuinely excited and interested in the project idea which made me feel so much better about suggesting such a lofty goal.
i spent a long time practicing guitar today after my lesson, and also arranged a whole song on piano which was SO fun! it wasn't even challenging for me to chart out the sheet music which used to be my biggest weakness. it was nice to see how much i've improved!
i ordered all of my mum's christmas presents for my dad (he's not the best with computers so i helped lol) and it was so satisfying! i also figured out what i'm going to make her for christmas and plan on getting all of the materials this week.
i joined a discord server for fanfic writers from my favourite fandom, and i'm so proud of myself for trying something new to make friends and also to inspire my writing!
even though i got to bed late, i still did my evening skincare and proved to myself that i can follow through on my goals!
things to improve:
i am really struggling to get to bed at a good hour, oof. even when i complete all of my evening tasks as early as 8:30pm i still end up staying up until 12:00am or later, mindlessly seeking dopamine. i need to figure out how to trick my brain into enjoying the wind-down / sleep process, so tomorrow i might make a "romanticizing bedtime" list to help myself out.
i think it would really help me to finish up my dream life and waiting room scripts, since i've also been majorly slacking on those. i'll make it a goal this week to finally finish those up.
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have a great sleep and take care everyone, excited to report back tomorrow and hope you're taking good care of your lovely self! ❤
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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week reflection: nov. 25th ❤︎
this week has definitely been a blah one, but i am feeling optimistic now that i know the reasons why it was so silly! unfortunately i had to go on a lower dose of my ADHD medication because the dose i was on kept flaring up my OCD symptoms (i am a collector of mental health diagnoses, lol) so i've been feeling completely crumpled while adjusting. however, i made sure to take care of myself the best i could and adapted my day to my energy levels, and the structure of my "daily routine essentials" helped me out so much! if i have "steps" written out in the order they need to be completed it helps me not get overwhelmed with anxiety and makes the next tasks i need to complete a lot more manageable.
anyhoo, recognizing my current experience for what it was has helped me remember that i will return to my regulated self in no time. i'm so excited to get going this week; i will be starting my gym routine and setting up a long-term guitar project with my guitar teacher so that i can be disciplined and excited about practicing again. i'll post a full list of my goals for this week tomorrow as part of my "reset" day. in the meantime, please have a lovely sleep and know how wonderful you are! 🥰
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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my current glow up goals!
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in order to grow and improve it is essential to have clear and easy-to-maintain goals! after a lot of procrastinating thinking i have finally narrowed down my main glow up goals so that i have something tangible to work towards. i have also written down the necessary tasks to accomplish these goals so that i can return to them whenever i feel stuck or demotivated.
1.) appearance and confidence:
one of my biggest glow up goals is to become confident in my appearance! i have never consistently felt good about the way that i look and i know that there are many lovely steps i can take to change this. i want to learn how to love myself and put in the work to show my body and face that i love them! ♥︎
shower + wash hair every morning to start the day off confidently
maintain a skincare routine that works for my skin
save up money to build a wardrobe that i love and feel confident in
learn pilates to improve my core strength and fix my posture
work out 3x a week and get to my preferred weight
put on makeup every day and learn what looks best on me
stretch every morning and night so that my body feels healthy
2.) studying and career:
having a career in something that i adore is absolute essential to me. i would ideally like to manifest financial freedom so that i can spend my days helping people through lifestyle blogging, coaching, and art creation under a trauma-informed/LOA/nondualist lens. i would also love to be a renowned musician who works with my absolute favourite artists in their projects, and be beloved in my music community. my main tasks in this category are studying guitar and piano to become the musician i know that i can be (which will be the "studyblr" part of my blog, and i'm so excited to figure out how i will track my progress with this)! i will also be focusing on manifesting financial abundance so that i can go to school for art therapy, which involves developing proper saving / spending habits until that sweet, sweet windfall of money comes in hehe ♥︎
practice guitar for at least an hour a day to start, and build this up to at least 4 hours a day once my guitar goals are more refined
practice piano for at least an hour a day, working on the same songs i am learning on guitar and working on technique
develop healthy spending habits until i have an abundance of money; focus on repaying my debts and saving for school
find a way to make more money in a way that is super enjoyable for me until i am able to manifest financial freedom
maintain a consistent manifesting routine and self-concept so that i can truly live my dream life and have my dream career!
3.) mental health and wellness:
it is sooo important to me to use my time in ways that are actually fulfilling and enriching. to become my dream girl, i must get rid of mindless activities and replace them with joyful and expansive hobbies and projects. i also must fix my sleep schedule to make sure i am getting enough rest, and learn how to overcome isolation through making new friends and nurturing the ones that i have! ♥︎
replace mindless scrolling with enriching activities and hobbies that i actually enjoy; create a meaningful + exciting list of projects
maintain a consistent sleep schedule and make sure i am getting at least 8 hours of sleep each night until my body adjusts
create a friend group that makes me feel loved and supported; nurture my relationships and nurture myself with socializing
get my drivers license so that i don't have to waste time on public transit anymore!
4.) self concept and self love:
deep down i know that i am worthy of good love, good friends, and an abundance of success and praise. however, it's time that i really internalize those feelings and learn to love myself the way that i deserve by changing my feelings of shame into feelings of love and compassion! ♥︎
journal about my feelings more consistently so that i can work through the shame and guilt spirals that come from RSD
learn more about "parts work" and "internal family systems" so that i can create a lovely library of all my beautiful parts, building them a home that they all feel safe in and where i have easy access to resources when i need them
learn how to be my vibrant and beautiful self around everyone without fear and without compromising my needs, so that i can figure out who i actually enjoy spending time with
continue practicing listening to my body, heart, and mind when something or someone doesn't feel right or safe for me
follow through on my goals and routines and adjust them when necessary so that i can build trust in myself that i can accomplish anything that i put my mind to!
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thank you for reading lovely friends, i am so grateful for your encouragement and support and i can't wait to make you proud! hehe. if you have similar goals and want an accountability buddy, please feel free to dm me and we can encourage each other to do our best! love you lots and believe in you so, so much ♥︎
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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my daily routine essentials!
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this is my current list of tasks that help me feel motivated, confident in myself, and able to overcome any major hurdles that ADHD throws my way. many of these are non-negotiable for me as they help me move on to the next task without anxiety or decision paralysis. i encourage everyone to find what works best for them! ♥︎
morning:
wake up at 8:00am
brush teeth and take meds
shower, wash hair, and get dressed
simple am skincare routine
make bed and open blinds
brush hair and do makeup
eat a quick breakfast
daily tasks:
accomplish scariest work or personal tasks first
practice guitar for at least an hour, ideally longer
practice piano for at least 30 minutes, ideally longer
complete workout or stretching routine of the day
evening:
start wind down at 8:00pm
tidy up bedroom and office
pick clothes + pack bag for the next day
complete pet related tasks
eat a snack and do dishes
write out to-do list for the next day
brush teeth + pm skincare routine
get into pyjamas and brush hair
go over dream life script or pinterest
yoga nidra + SATS
asleep by 12:00
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dreambunnynotes · 5 months
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daily reflection: nov. 17th ❤︎
whoops, i didn't post my to-do lists or check-ins this week, but that is okay! my usual instinct is to give up and restart when i don't do something perfectly, but the whole point of documenting my self-improvement journey is to break the habits that don't serve me. i'm in the early stages of trying out this blog and it's okay to make mistakes, and i'm going to avoid the perfectionist loop by posting what i wrote up for the 17th of november! 🥰 it was a really successful day for my mental health and so i want to document it. here is what i wrote a few days ago:
accomplishments:
today i primarily focused on my social health, and i absolutely killed it!! it's actually making me tear up writing this reflection. i am currently dipping my toes into meeting new people, rekindling old friendships, and loving myself enough to show up as myself, which is my absolute biggest hurdle in my self-love journey due to my own trauma and life experiences. wonderfully, the successes i have had so far in trying to be myself and pushing through my fear and shame have been SO rewarding, which only encourages me to keep going and reminds me that it is safe to try! one of my most wonderful manifestations right now is manifesting my dream friend group where i feel loved and also have FUN, since i have had very low standards for friendships in the past. i kept receiving the message of "being true to myself" this week, and i set the intention that i was going to try to be my bestest, silliest, most authentically neurodivergent self no matter how hard it was. so many beautiful things have happened since setting that intention, and here are the results from just yesterday:
i hung out with my sister for an hour or two (which doesn't take energy for me, she is my best friend and the person i wish to base all of my future friendships off of!! c':) and even though i was nervous and apprehensive, we went to hang out with her theatre friends before their show that evening. i decided to try being authentically me despite the fear of being judged, and not only were they super lovely and fun, they also laughed at my jokes and made me feel very valued for being there! i felt really grateful to have that experience, and grateful to myself for giving it a try.
i hung out with my friend "ac" at their house for a bit while we got ready for a show, and it was really nice to see them again! i had been feeling a bit bummed about our friendship lately because they had been treating me in a way that felt pretty triggering, but i reconnected with the law of assumption and realized that it was because i expected them to show up that way, which helped me heal my relationship with them a little.
we went to pre-game at their partners house, though i wasn't drinking. i met several new people, and they were all so sweet and nice! instead of feeling lonely that i was a new person being introduced to a very longstanding friend group, i chose to ask those at the house party questions about their friend lore (lol) and was my sweet and silly self. i found myself laughing along to things i didn't find funny and not really enjoying myself, which ended up being helpful; instead of listening to the internal voice that often says "you'll never find your friends," i was able to witness the voice and reply with, "you're trying new things, and you're learning about your preferences; how beautiful is that!" i was really proud of myself for this witnessing and not-shaming, and i did end up having quite a few wonderful conversations after that. i was able to see that the situation was not black and white, and that there can be multiple perspectives per experience!
i had a negative interaction with someone i knew there that made me feel embarrassed because of the way they responded to me. instead of internalizing it, i remembered that real friends wouldn't make me feel that way, which was another win for connecting with my authentic self despite the fear!
i made a new friend who i had never met before which was so, so beautiful! we talked about vocal stims and musical theatre karaoke lmao it was so great, i felt really accepted by them and it was just such a treat to hang out and laugh with them! it's so nice to meet new people you instantly feel connected to, and, again, was proof that by being my purest self, i will meet the people i connect with.
at the venue, i put on my massive ear-protectors because i am very overstimulated by sound, and it was just so comforting to know that none of my friends there in the big friend group were judging me. it was safe to do what i had to do; in fact, it was celebrated!
anyway, i'm feeling really positively about my social experiences today. it was the biggest part of my day and i feel proud of myself for overcoming my biggest fears. it's so funny to me that my body reacts to seeing a friend the same way it would react if i was being attacked by a lion; the nervous system is a funny thing, but i'm glad it wants to keep me safe!
other accomplishments:
i didn't cancel work even though i really, really wanted to. i showed up and did my job, which shows that i can trust myself to get things done when i need to!
improvements to make:
i need to set clear goals so that my days are easier to navigate, because without clarity i wander pretty aimlessly with the time i have. i will improve this by getting specific about my dreams and desires, and planning my days accordingly!
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woo! kind of a long and rambly post today, but it's alright, it's important for me to document. hope everyone is doing wonderfully and taking care of themselves the best they can!
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