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aimasup · 4 years

Note

Maybe i'm late but, did anyone, like actually have left remus in a small place (for his claustrophobia) for like 4 hours or something just because he did something bad? If yes did anyone just stayed here and heard him suffer? Or actually tried to help him out in secret? Sorry if it is long ^^'

Deceit’s smarmy snake grin never left his confident face. Oh god, Remus was giving him the look. No one ever liked being given the look, something that no Side should ever be subject to, carrying the promise of your emotional vulnerability, a sackful of seeing through your bullshit and a dash of demented purity rivaled only by Patton. And Vir

Deceit cleared his throat, loudly and with purpose. “Well? Go on, Remus.”

Remus rolled his eyes, a childish staple of his that always looked comical. “Oh come on, Nope Rope, you and I both know you spout more shit than a bull with diarrhea after one of your nightmares. So you might as well follow it up with some tea.”

So much wrong had just come out of Remus’ mouth. The man smelled like tonsil stones on a good day yet he still managed to surprise the Sides with horrifying bouts of intellect every now and then. The slimy little bugger.

"Clearly you've remembered what I told you about calling me names."

Remus leaned happily. "Nakey Snakey."

"Remus..."

"Boop Noodle!"

"Remus."

"Dangle Fangle!"

"Remus! Shut up!"

Remus feigned offense. "I'm trying out ones that start with a D!"

"That's not my point! Now distract me with musical ditties as you were instructed, you foul wretch!"

"Slithervester Stallone-!" Remus had time to squeal before Deceit squashed his face with a pillow and snatched the remote. The game was on as if by instinct and Remus tackled him from under the pillow, shrieking muffled. Deceit whacked him on the head, hard, with the remote. Remus was distracted momentarily, so Deceit took the chance and shoved him off of him with more force than necessary, insulting him all the while.

"-you nitwit, you just can't listen, can you, you moron, you bitch, you're so thick-headed, do that again and I swear-"

"You'll what, you'll lock me in the closet?"

All of a sudden, it was like an invisible giant had drowned the room in heavy syrup. The tightness from before returned and Deceit, still breathing hard, glared at Remus with gritted teeth and panicked eyes. The Side was below him, pillow on his chest, grin gone and singlet askew.

That one sentence, although it needed no context to tell who had been on the receiving end of it, brought more distress to the deceitful side than it did to the other, strangely enough. They kept their eyes trained on each other. Neither would admit that they felt like they were breathing molasses and it wasn't sweet. The television had long ago blacked out, a deafening silence following its rather meek departure.

Remus' eyes didn't stop glowing. Deceit's didn't either. None were good signs, but Remus still said, in the rare soft tone his voice could manage at times, "That's the problem, isn't it?"

Deceit swallowed. He turned away and stared at the floor, eyes narrowed to slits. He had put down the remote with controlled harshness on the sofa. He exhaled through his nose and never made eye contact with Remus.

Everyone had their little tics. Remus hated being called scary. Roman was a compulsive perfectionist. Patton had a repression habit. And Thomas didn't want to be a bad person.

Neither did Deceit.

"You know I'm over that, right?"

"... obviously."

That could mean anything, and that wasn't even getting to which part of the question he was answering. Remus bit his tongue. His canines dug into the muscle, and he pulled them out again, breathing in the scent of his own blood. Feeling a bit better, he turned away from Deceit and stared at the black screen of the TV.

"No, really you don't have to worry about it. You worrying about it pisses me off."

Still no response.

"Deceit?" Remus couldn't help but feel a bit concerned at this exchange.

------------------

"Who--who are you?" Fun blurbled at the figure on all fours before him. Fresh tear stains still stained his cheeks, an ear-to-ear smile etched below his eyes.

Something was off. Heart had run away with someone who looked like him, and had left him alone. He'd never do that. He'd always stuck with him through anything, no matter what he said or did. But the look Heart had given him... it was as if he didn't know what to make of him all of a sudden. Less than that, even.

The figure, still cautious and poised to pounce, didn't answer. Its impossibly wide reptilian eyes glowed bright in the dark, illuminating nothing on its entirely pitch black body, and Fun could make out nothing but a few familiar features.

"Are you a--a Side too?"It flinched and hissed at him. Fun found that he didn't duck away from the grotesque mouth that opened too wide. Or more like, there wasn't anything in his head that told him it was gross. He found it cute because it was gross, in fact.

When the brown-rimmed mouth closed, it was as if it was never there. It glared at him through narrowed eyes and spat at his feet.

"Oh."

With all the pure spite radiating off of the thing, it still approached, walking perfectly on its hands and legs. It didn't look clumsy moving like that, and Fun suspected it had always been that way.

"Wh--what are you doing?"Fun tried not to find this tiny demonic thing adorable. Didn't help matters when it planted its face on his sticky, black knee (... huh.) and walked off.

Before Fun could process what just happened, it turned around with the calmest expression and stared. And waited. It wanted him to follow.

As adorable as the thing was, Fun still had his doubts. He didn't want to leave. This was where his friends were. Curious little Learning, sweet as sugar Heart, cowardly yet caring Careful. But he had a feeling they didn't want to see him again.

It broke his heart.

So with a greasy squelch, Fun struggled to his feet and went with the creature.

------------------

"Deceit, you need to stop holding yourself over that. We can't be like the Others."

The further lack of response frustrated Remus. He probably should be trying to comfort Deceit, but that wasn't his type. Tough lo--learning would have to do, it was how it always went. They couldn't afford to be wishy-washy with stuff like feelings.

"Deceit, if you don't stop feeling bad about it I'm gonna smack the shit out of you. With my bare hands. And this morning star."

"Aren't you trying too hard not to be Roman?"

Remus slammed his weapon into the pillow. "Well I think you're trying too hard to be Patton!"

"Wouldn't you think Virgil would have wanted that?" Deceit was weary. Remus breathed in sharply through his teeth and stuttered.

"What?"

"It's clear we weren't the best to him. It's not his fault he left. It was for the best. He needs better than us. He deserves better than us."

"What the fuck!" Remus threw up his hands. "What the fuck, Deceit! What happened to being your own person? What happened to not giving a shit about living up to anyone's standards?! You don't know what you're talking about, because you're tired, and you're just a hypocrite who was never able to see past your own horseshit!"

"I know."

Remus wanted to rip his hair out. Deceit's or his own, he didn't really care. "Jesus Christ! Ugh!"

He flumped into a pillow and screamed into it.

Deceit watched him.

------------------

"You know, it's kinda weird how you don't wanna be called a Side, you know? Like, you look like Heart, and we all know that Heart looks the most like Thomas. So you gotta be pretty important. If you look the most like Thomas. Next to Heart. You know what I'm saying?"

It was still silent. The quiet walk down the tattered corridor had been awkward, and now that they were up the stairs and in some padded room that was probably the creature's, Fun tried to fill the silence as the creature studied him. It prowled around Fun as he sat cross legged on the floor, leaking tar all over the place.

"And, well, Learning is super important too. And Careful. We're all super important." It brushed by his shoulder and stared at his back with interest for a good two seconds before sitting back on its haunches.

"But Learning only looks the second most like Thomas. Careful just likes his hair to be all dangly. Though he clips it back sometimes to fit in? I think? I dunno."

"Anyways, I just thought that maybe once we're done here, with." Fun looked at the creature. "Whatever this is. I could bring you back with me to the others! I just got rid of the bad stuff in me, and once I get all cleaned up, and you too, we'll be all okay again!"

The creature stopped prodding at his back and he could feel it staring into nothing. Fun couldn't help but note the lack of breath on his neck. Either it gave up trying to appear human a long time ago or it was just that short. He giggled at the thought.

But that faded away when he started feeling slight concern. It was too silent. He hated silence. Fun turned to look over his shoulder, then shuffled his body around to peer at the creature, who was now deep in thought.

"Hey bud? What's wrong with ya? Cat got your tongue?" He chuckled. "I've heard that from Learning and Heart a lot. You're gonna love em. They'll help you lighten up! Trust me, we've been through lots together, they'll like you too!"

It lifted its head up and fixated him with the saddest stare anyone could give a Side. Fun felt his excitement at meeting a new friend weather away when he felt that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

A thin line of brown appeared, and widened. It's eyes darted here and there with consideration. It was choosing its words. Fun titled his head as it strained to force out words.

"Not."

"Uh. Huh? You can talk!"

"Fun."

"Wait, what are you saying?"

It bounced in place with clear frustration. After clutching its head and shaking it, it tried again.

"You. Not." It tried once more. "You. Not! You! Not! Fun!"

Fun withered under its glare, a little hurt. "I'm not fun to be with? I'm sorry, uh-"

"No!"

Fun's heart ached for the thing, confused and intrigued. All of them learned how to speak along with Thomas. How was it that this Side didn't?

"Gone."

"..."

"Fun. Gone."

"I really don't understand."

"Fun." It drew a capital F in the air. He nodded, a little less lost. It nodded too.

"Fun. Split. Gone. You. Green. Half. Heart. You. Red. Half. You." It was closer now. It stuck a finger onto Fun's chest, sorrowful expression looking like it was supposed to be welling up with tears. Its jaw trembled. "Half. Bad. Half."

"Not. Their. Fun."

Fun wasn't so sure about anything anymore. He understood it perfectly, he just really didn't want to. "You can't be serious."

It was. It looked as if it has never been more certain of anything in its life. It lowered its head.

Panic gripped him like no other and his mind began racing. He gestured wildly.

"Then--then who's that other half?! They can't go on without Fun! Thomas can't go on without Fun!" The partial emptiness that he'd been trying to ignore a long time ago had grown more apparent as he ranted. "I can't let that happen! What will they do?"

Half. Bad. Half.

It struck. 'Fun' felt his chest drop to his stomach. "They. I'm the bad half."

The creature was still as a statue."They--they think--they think the red me is--is Fun, they, Learning, Careful, H-Heart--they don't know me."

The black and green outfitted grease blob blubbered on. "It's--it's not fair! I know them! I drew pictures with Thomas, I came up with our names, I--I'm--I know what Fun knows!"

He desperately turned to the creature in front of him. "They can't do this! I-if the other me is Fun, then I'm Fun too! I'm still Fun! I still know them! I still love them! At the very least, I'm still one of Thomas' Sides!" The creature silently stared as he kept talking, as his words blurred together with cries of anguish, as he put his forehead to the floor, bunching his sash in his hands. All tears had run out earlier, and there were only bawls of despair that dissolved into whimpers.

The humanoid grease blob didn't know what to call himself anymore. But it still wasn't fair at all. The truth was that. They thought that their Fun had returned from the battle, sword held high and rid of the beast. To them, Fun was better than ever.

But what was he?

------------------

"When you explained in your dumb loophole way that my stupid ass brother wasn't me, it was the first time you had advice you didn't follow, did you?"

"Remus, you can't pretend you don't feel the same."

"Fuck off!" Remus groaned. "I'm not pretending for anything, Dee, I've said it multiple times, I have nothing I want to hide! But you can't be serious about wanting to be like Patton!"

Deceit pondered his answer. "I may or may not have considered it."

Remus let go of Deceit's shirt slowly. He still fixated him with fierce angry eyes as his fingers loosened, setting the smaller Side down a little. So he didn't actually think it. Just a passing thought. Okay then.

Deceit straightened his collar and smoothed out the wrinkles in his outfit. And he was back to looking sullenly at the a spot on the carpet.

Remus swallowed. God, this was harder than it needed to be. He wondered if this was how Deceit felt when he was younger, rawer in his state, unable to speak in anything but opposites. He didn't have to teach Deceit how to not speak in opposites, because the more they raised each other, the more Deceit's black scales had resided and his speech freedom loosened up.

They always talked it out, they always had to stick close. So why was it so hard now?

------------------

The squeal of unbridled joy when it was introduced to noir films, the long bath chases, the practice with his creations and tentacles, the nights spent splayed out messily on the same bed after a nightmare. It was simple. So simple.

------------------

Deceit could feel the stare from Remus leaving him. God, if that moron tried to comfort him now he was going to explode. His eye would leak tears like a broken faucet and he would be a pathetic blubbering mess, and Remus would have blackmail until the day Thomas finally died.

He swore he could feel the long exhale and mutterings as Remus thought on what to say. He really didn't care, in the end. Deceit wanted nothing more than to do his job and think nothing of anything ever again. He didnt--

"Virgil's gone, and there's nothing we can or could do about it. Because of how we are. It's jackshit to say we can change our nature. Nothing. Nada. Zero." Firm hands with black acrylics gripped his shoulder and turned his tired eyes onto Remus' own.

"Feeling sorry for yourself won't change anything. Things happen, jackoff."

Deceit's breath hitched, but he didn't quite feel like crying, oddly enough. Strange that through gritted teeth and eyes that could gleam death to anyone who doesn't know Remus well, he felt more clarification than all his thoughts combined. His mind had chanted a mantra of things his whole life, and what Remus said was only one of them. Deceit had been hoping to finally hear them from an outside source. But somehow, someway, Remus had found a way to make this line of reasoning sound less harsh.

Unpredictable as always.

"Remus. I.."

He placed his hands gently on Remus' wrists, patted twice. Remus let go and studied him, an air of sternness and also nervousness apparent in his face. They simmered in the unsaid apology, sitting on the couch in their lonely, mangy living room, like it was a vague yet satisfactory ending to a movie. That was how all their arguments would usually end, but it was rarely in any way fulfilling.

Deceit thought on it. Swallowing the hard lump in his throat, he choked out a laugh. "God, we're such a mess."

Glad the tension was broken, Remus smiled, ugly shark teeth in full view. "Yeah we are. We're the Mindscape's dumpster fires."

They were delirious with more emotion than they experienced on a daily basis, and they both chortle along to Remus' weak joke. Jesus, if you could lose fat due to mental work as well as physical, Thomas would be underweight by now.

Remus shook his head. "Honestly, you can't think too much about it. Just think of all the times we battered each other in this place, and you'll feel better about the closet thing."

Deceit snorted. "How is it that I'm more affected by it than you? Like all the times you ripped out my hair."

"Or all the times you silenced us whenever you felt like it."

"Or all those times you slammed me in to a hard surface."

"Remember that one time you left me in the closet for a week?"

"I still remember how I silenced Virgil for a month."

Remus snapped his fingers. "Yeah, Virgil, I remember how many times he gave us hallucinations. Sometimes he'd give us panic attacks for the hell of it!" He laughed.

"He was always quite the hothead."

"That's not even counting his stabs. Not just with a knife."

"Knowing you, that could mean anything."

Remus swooshed his hands in a rainbow-shaped gesture gleefully."Oooooh, whatever you want it to mean!" The joke was lacking and childish, but Remus' delivery was so goofy.

Deceit chuckled, back of his hand pressed daintily to his mouth as always. Remus giggled in short bursts of high-pitched derangement along with him.

Then it dissolved into awkward silence as they pondered their situation, up at ass o' clock in the morning, sprawled over the couch in undignified manners, dim light flickering because they were too depressed to fix it, talking about unreasonable hostile behavior so casually like they were fond memories of family vacations.

"... let's go make breakfast."

"Okay, Caution Ramen."

"I'm sorry?"

"Hazard Spaghetti. Murder Spagurder."

"...what."

"Judgemental Shoelace."

"Oh, shut the fuck up."

------------------

"No! Get away!" The sobbing figure cowered away from the green and yellow-tinted Sides, if you could call them that.

Bad Thoughts put his hands out. "Woah, woah, hey, we won't hurt you! Much."

Deceit slapped Bad Thoughts as the Side, who was slowly fading into a full black and purple from the legs up, put his hands in his hair and screamed louder. "Shut up! Go away! I'm sorry! Please! I hate you! Go away!"

"Well that's a lot of mixed signals." Bad Thoughts muttered. Careful looked a lot different from what he had remembered. He was seeming more tired and grievous. A faint spark of recognition flashed across Careful's eyes when he peeked up at him, but ducked away when Bad Thoughts stretched the arm with his morning star.

Without a word, Deceit knelt down and wrapped his arms around Careful. He flinched, but he stopped sobbing at least. He was still breathing hard when BT decided to join in, planting himself as softly as he knew how to on Caution.

"You're okay," Deceit murmured. "You're alright. You won't hurt anyone. You won't do that."

Caution hiccupped, staring at the ceiling, eyes brimming with angry tears. He hissed though gritted teeth."How--how do you know? You don't understand, I cause so many problems--"

"Yeah, we do. We know that. But that's you." Remus said. "Who cares if you do? Causing problems is what we do around here. You can't blame yourself for doing what you do best."

Caution was still dubious. He was sniffling. Slowly, he put his arms on Deceit's back. "I don't want to make more trouble."

Deceit lowered his head onto his shoulder. "Just come with us. We cause trouble, but whether you want to do that is up to you."

The black was receding, but the purple still lingered a little. All four of Caution's eyes blinked.

Remus pulled away, leaving only his hand on Careful's shoulder. His old friend, who didn't know who he was, who was meeting him for the first time. "Besides, I don't think you meant to cause that breakdown."

Caution finally turned and looked, actually looked at him for the first time since they were children. "You don't?"

"Nope!"

The purple color was down to his knees again. The black was gone.

"But," Caution started, both Sides pulling back to give him space. "But, it was so unnecessary, and--and the whole damn class was watching, and the other sides were freaked out-"

"Yeah, so? It was cool! Don't you think it's some way of letting everyone know that Thomas was upset? Things were getting hairy and you pulled it off perfectly." Remus gave an exaggerated chef's kiss in the air.

"That power is something only you hold, storm cloud." Deceit said. "Like Remus said, it's who you are. It was quite the display."

Caution eyed them suspiciously. "Yeah, well, you guys would think so."

"Don't you see? If you come with us, you can learn to control that! You can choose your own rules, you can choose when you want to have influence over Thomas!" Deceit lowered his voice. "You can protect Thomas by forcing the others to hear how much you try."

Caution didn't make eye contact, finding it difficult when two people stared at once. But he was thinking about it, clearly. The others had been trying to ignore him lately, and no one had to be a genius to figure that out. The rise and fall of his chest grew a little quicker as he realized how unfair it was that he was just trying to be a Side, and Thomas didn't care. The spite and betrayal was evident in his eyes, the same that had plagued Bad Thoughts and Deceit so many times in their childhood.

It was decided.

He looked up with grim determination. "C-call me Fear."

Previous parts here and here

Claustrophobic Remus post here

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betelguwuse · 3 years

Text

I’m starting to think maybe I don’t want to get married. Hypothetically I’d love to be in a godly marriage with a man who respects me and sees me as the person that God does (and not only me but women as a whole), but realistically do christian men like that even exist? Mainstream christianity, especially gender discourse, is so watered down and twisted into something that’s more political than biblical. I feel like this is gonna piss off both the christians and feminists, even though I’m both (though some might say I’m not a real feminist, whatever idc lol). Might also tag as Side B because I feel like this is also maybe a Side B mood? But here goes.

Color coded by vague topic, bolded so it’s easier to read.

Like I recently heard of a pastor being criticized for saying it’s a woman’s duty to look good for her husband, and the boomer conservatives were acting like criticisms of this pastor was the end of christianity. There’s no way “looking good” in a biblical sense was anything more than basic hygiene, nowhere near the beauty standards of today; and that is if the idea of looking good for your husband is even in the bible. These people siding with the pastor were saying that any woman who doesn’t shave or hide her “flaws” with makeup or basically completely embody the tradwife meme are bad wives. Like what the literal hell.

Honestly the entire tradwife aesthetic seems to be the goal for a lot of young christian couples, when it’s not inherently biblical. I used to be into it myself because heck yeah staying home, housekeeping, taking care of children, and wearing cute flowery dresses sounds like a dream. But my goals aren’t universal! Some women don’t want kids. Some women want to work. Good and God-honoring women of the bible didn’t all have kids and stay home. I mean the timeline of the bible spans so long, so yeah maybe there were times when most women did. But that doesn’t mean women who didn’t were bad wives or lesser women. Not to mention there’s such a blurred line currently between cute tradwife lifestyle and creeps who fetishize the idea of a traditional (and by traditional they mean submissive) wife. Gross.

Another thing too many christian men do is say women can’t be in any position of power in the church. There is the whole specific issue of whether or not women should be the highest up actual pastor of the church, and I don’t know enough about that whole debate to validate or debunk it, but I’m not talking about that specifically here. Aside from that one position, a lot of christians think women can only teach other women and girls but not guys, even like literal child boys. That’s so weird, like imagine thinking a little boy has more authority than, or even equal to, a grown woman? Couldn’t be me. And this whole idea comes from an out of context “I do not permit women to speak in the church” from a regular human guy. And the reason he said this was that the women around him were spreading heresy. I still think it’s flawed logic to exclude all women from speaking in that situation just because most of them were wrong, but again, this wasn’t a command from God. This was just a guy recording his church experience and doing his flawed human best to manage it. Various women throughout the actual bible outside of this one leader’s timeline held positions of power in various churches. And modern day american christian men think biblical womanhood is all about subservience? Bro what bible are you reading?

I just want to make it clear that these are all just generalizations, but having been in various actual biblical communities and conservative christian communities, I can kinda pick up on the general sexist behaviors of the latter. But unfortunately in today’s political climate more and more young christians are only being exposed to political opinions that are surface level americanized good christian morals, but not actually biblical.

Even on top of that, even if a man knows of these biblical misconceptions, we live in a society. Like we’re constantly exposed to women’s sexualization, and it’s pretty impossible to escape that. I don’t want to spend my life with someone who’s grown up in a world where women are seen as weak, objects, pleasure machines, etc. And yeah we can unlearn these biases (honestly I hate the word unlearn but I can’t think of a substitute rn), but it feels like a hassle to casually figure out whether a guy can make an effort to understand what women go through, and if I were to just bring it up I’d scare them away. And that’s not to say I’m some perfect person who’s never sexualized men, we are all sinners after all and we live in a fallen world etc etc. But a whole society where women are so objectified that it’s normal for little boys to be watching porn, that just doesn’t really happen with little girls. I can’t speak for all women, but when I started seeing men sexually it was in my late teens when I realized like ‘oh I can sexualize men too? wild. ok I’m an adult lemme check it out’. Still sinful, but not ingrained in me from porn ads as a kid the way most young boys have been since like the creation of the internet.

Even the men currently in my life who genuinely want what’s best for me are so incredibly misogynistic it’s baffling. My male family members see any woman who breaks an imaginary dress code or ideology is some kind of deviant. I just want to make it clear that this is MY family and I’M the only one who gets to complain about them. We all love each other here even if the males are horribly wrong.

So I shaved my head for halloween and my dad could barely look at me, not because he was exactly mad or anything but just because I looked ugly to him. He always says ‘close the windows in your apartment because men will spy on you changing’ but after my hair was gone he was all ‘actually don’t bother because nobody will look at you looking like that’ like wow I wasn’t aware men only sexualized women for their hair. Like you really think a gross creeper is gonna be turned off by a fully naked oblivious vulnerable woman just because she’s bald? That’s not how any of this works. And just today my sister was watching a goth youtuber egirl or something, I didn’t see her makeup but my dad said stuff like ‘ew why does she look like that, maybe it’d be cool as a costume but how is she going to get a job’. Like, I’m not one to go ‘women don’t wear makeup for men’ (because most women who only use makeup to hide their insecurities and follow beauty standards very much just do it so they don’t get backlash from others, if not directly to please men), but when it’s a fun crazy look that’s not meant to be pretty, I’m all for that shit and generally I hate when men lose respect for a woman just for wearing something they don’t like. Like fashion isn’t real and your appearance should be as costumey or weird as you want without people losing respect for you. Also like...do men know that makeup isn’t permanent?? Like if she wanted a job that required no makeup she could easily wipe her face off and get one?? Not only that, but people can work from home and/or be self employed. Maybe youtube itself was this girl’s job. Who the hell cares man. And the worst thing here is my brother outright said one time “the root cause of feminism is pride”. B r u h. And this was back when I considered myself an anti-feminist, even then I knew that feminism started for good reason and I was absolutely furious. I think I kept it to myself like a coward lol, but if anyone said that to me now I’d tear them apart. In a debate I mean, not like literal violence.

Tldr: I’m not trying to say men are inherently more evil because there’s evil in everyone, but the way it takes shape in men in most societies is so insidious and inescapable. I love my family and guy friends, but I don’t want to deal with one in a romantic/sexual relationship because I don’t know if even the most educated and goodest christian boi in this world can see me as a true equal. It sucks because I want sex and children, but when the mainstream idea of hetero sex is female submission, it just makes me shrivel up and contemplate becoming a nun. I’m not even catholic. But even nuns are sexualized and degraded in coomer’s disgusting brains. In conclusion I’m going feral and starting my own woman-only church in the woods let’s go ladies.

#christianity #biblical womanhood #christian woman #christian feminism #feminism #side b #side b christian

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asterkiss · 3 years

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“I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.” Mabill, please. 😊

Zombie AU, anyone?

- VULNERABILITY

“I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”

Mable Pines evaded another flesh-hungry zombie as she ran through the abandoned streets of Gravity Falls. A lot can change in a couple of days, and having a zombie apocalypse explode out of nowhere certainly changed a lot.

For one thing, she was currently all alone.

Wendy was currently incapacitated back at the Shack with two broken legs (long story); Dipper had been unfortunately kidnapped by a cult (an even longer story); and to top it all off their newfound ally Bill Cipher was fucking dead.

She’d probably need several hours to explain that last part.

But to give the short version:-

It had only been a couple of months since the demon had taken on a human vessel and shenanigans had ensued between him and their family. A lot had transpired but to cut to the eventuality of it all, Mabel had actually grown close to the demon and considered him sort of, well, a friend.

(But that was it. Just a friend. Nothing more―no matter what he might suggest otherwise).

Despite that, even until the end Mable found herself continuing to question whether he really had changed.

Apparently his way of proving that was to throw himself into a hoard of zombies so that she could escape unharmed.

Talk about making a point, huh?

(But seriously she was very upset about it).

Using her grappling hook, Mable equipped the ever useful device to scale the building of an abandoned warehouse. Breaking an already cracked window, she climbed inside. Mable had the feeling people wouldn’t be bothered too much by her trespassing when there were bigger fish to fry in town right now.

Her reason for coming here to begin with was because she had bumped into Tambry who had apparently caught size of a group fitting the description of Dipper’s kidnappers visiting this place yesterday morning.

So it was, Mable cautiously searched the abandoned warehouse, eventually making her way up a flight of stairs and into a room that oversaw the entire building. There didn’t seem to be any sign of Dipper, only remnants of abandoned supplies and machinery.

Her foot tapped against something and she lowered her flashlight only to gasp at the sight of a body. Unfortunately, this was only one of many she had seen in the past couple of days. He didn’t even look that old either as he stared ahead vacantly.

Mable paid him a small blessing in her mind as she turned to continue searching.

Except something then grabbed her foot.

Ah.

Dropping her head down she found the dead body suddenly wasn’t so “dead” anymore as the light haired corpse groaned into movement whilst its cold fingers grasped at her ankle. Oh hell no. Mable quickly yanked her foot free and backed away, rushing for another door that lead out onto the walkway.

Luck was not on her side however as Mable flung the door open only to find another zombie stood loitering outside, its head hanging to one side. This one was older, probably a middle-aged gentleman as it turned its head to regard her arrival, eyes alighting with hunger.

Oh crap.

She retreated away from the door, peering behind her to find the first zombie was now standing. That way was blocked. Her head snapped back around as the older one lurched forward too close for comfort. She quickly held out her grappling hook and released it, the metal portion firing and hitting it square in the chest which caused it it to stumble. Score.

Mable turned on her heel only to freeze at the sight of shot gun directed her way. Her eyes wandered past the barrel of the gun and towards the individual holding it only for her gaze to land on none other than the zombie itself. Wait, what?

The gun fired and she flinched as the shot rang out loudly throughout the room and building. When she turned her head, she found the other zombie directly behind her, apparently having recovered from her attack. What it couldn’t recover from however was the the fresh bullet hole in its skull as it slowly toppled over onto the floor. Dead for good this time.

When she peered back cautiously towards the other undead in the room and met its gaze, its lips slowly stretched into a lazy grin.

‘Sup.’

‘Wha― Wait, Billl!?’

‘In the flesh,’ he shot back with a laugh, tapping his chest as he lowered the weapon. ‘This flesh to be more precise.’

‘Oh my god are you possessing a dead body right now?’ she cried, regarding him ludicrously.

‘Well yeah, my old vessel got torn to pieces by those rabid cannibals―you’re welcome for that by the way―so I decided to shop around for something fresher. Lucky me, I found this one right by ya.’

‘You have part of your throat missing.’

‘I’ll hide it with a scarf.’

‘And I can see part of your intestines hanging out.’

'That can be patched up,’ he replied breezily, clearly having no qualms about his actions.

Mable sighed as she regarded his new "form”. The body he inhabited couldn’t have been dead for that long as it still had some colour left in it and didn’t stink yet. Also, whilst it pained her to admit it, had this body been alive and intact its definitely a guy she would have considered hot. So in a way she was thankful he had part of his organs hanging out, it sobered her up and made her less inclined to think Bill was attractive.

‘See something you like?’ he asked, wiggling his eyebrows as she continued to stare.

Mable rolled her eyes. ‘That’s creepy coming from a dead body.’

‘Would you rather I possess a living one?’

‘Why do you have to possess anybody at all?’ she protested. ‘Are you really that desperate to cause drama, even during a zombie apocalypse?’

He frowned. ‘That’s not why I’m back.’

‘Oh yeah?’ she gave him a flat look, clearly in disbelief.

‘It’s true!’ he retorted. ‘Hand on my― well, this guy’s heart!’

When she continued to side-eye him, Bill released an aggravated sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. ‘Urgh, you never make things easy. You’re seriously gonna make me be honest and crap? I hate that stuff.’

‘Yeah, how awful,’ she deadpanned.

He released a grumble, looking very much uncomfortable as he muttered something.

‘What?’

‘...d... ou....’

‘You seriously need to speak up dude, I can’t hear a thing.’

‘I’m fond of you!’ he snapped, eyes flashing as he pinned with a glare. ‘There, I said it. Are you happy!?’

Mable blinked in surprise at his admission. Well that she certainly hadn’t expected. She could tell he was uncomfortable at his own words and though she wanted to make a witty comment or joke, the girl knew that wouldn’t be fair to the demon who had clearly displayed some vulnerability to confess such a thing.

‘Really?’ she asked.

‘I just said so, didn’t I?’ he huffed, folding his arms. ‘Why else do you think I scarified my old vessel to rescue you? I’ve no idea what I’d do if I lost you.’

Oh wow. Mable felt her heart actually skip a beat and quickly reminded herself that this was still Bill even if he was saying the first sweet thing in probably centuries.

‘You like me,’ she stated, feeling the words on her own tongue. It felt nice to say them. Slightly funny, even.

Bill grumbled some words, refusing to look her way. Was he embarrassed? Seriously?

'Well, I like you too,’ she admitted, feeling she could show a little vulnerability in front of him if he was. His gaze wandered in her direction, a look of suspicion lacing his expression.

‘You do?’

‘Yeah. I don’t really know why,’ she added, offering a wry smile. ‘But I was upset when you died so I’m kinda happy to see you again.’ Even if it was by possessing a dead body during these drastic times.

Mable could have sworn she saw the hints of a genuine smile beginning to form on his face at her admission, only for it to be quickly dampened as he unfolded his arms and straightened up. ‘Hmph, well luckily for you the main hero has returned to this mess of a show.’

‘Oh yeah?’ She watched as he tucked away his true feelings behind a facade once more. Looks like feelings time was over. And she was okay with that. It made her feel weird too. They could go back to being snark and comfortable.

‘Yep. So let’s go and save your dumb brother, for if my name ain’t Bill Cipher! All powerful and omnipotent demon, destroyer of dreams! Mwahahaha!!!’

‘Hey, Mr Destroyer of Dreams, you dropped one of your kidneys.’

‘Wait, what?’

‘Blehh, that’s so gross. I think I might seriously throw up.’

‘It’s fine, I’ll shove it back in! No harm done. See?’

‘No, keep it away from me! Bill!!’

#mabill #bill x mabel #mabel x bill #gravity falls #drabble

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spaceorphan18 · 4 years

Note

Do you think Blaine loved Kurt more than Kurt loved him?

No.

Before I go into it a little deeper, and Nonny, I’m not addressing this little soapbox speech at you, I just need to say -- that this kinda shit is why the Better Boyfriend Olympics spun so out of control when the show was airing. There was this weird kind of gatekeeping (?) around what constituted a “good” boyfriend (partner, whatever) -- and when either Blaine or Kurt didn’t fit into what the other side wanted in some idyllic partner, all hell broke loose and it felt like WW3 all the time.

There’s this book called The 5 Love Languages. And while it’s a bit reductive in scope (with heavily Christian themes) the point of it is that people express and receive love in different ways -- and just because two people express things like love in different ways doesn’t mean one is better than the other.

Love is a concept that humans created to describe an emotional attachment that -- despite people trying really hard to -- can’t be singularly measured. I assume you love your Mom and your partner and your cat and you bff and Glee in entirely different ways, but you still love all those things, right? Do you sit and make a hierarchy of how that works? More so - let’s say you love chocolate cake. Do you need to make orgasmic sounds every time you enjoy yourself a piece of chocolate cake to prove you really love it?

No? So why do we place this on our fictional characters -- mostly it comes out of a twisted competition where one side needs the other to be ‘worthy’ of the other’s love and/or affection, and it’s kinda gross, tbh. And I don’t mean you can fanfic yourself a different ship -- go right ahead! And I don’t mean you can’t be unhappy that a canon couple is together -- sure! What I do mean is that don’t use your version of love expression to define whether or not someone is loving someone too much or too little.

That said - let’s talk about Kurt and Blaine and how they love. First of all, they’re both romantics. They both have idyllic ideas about how said romantic relationship works -- and because of this, this is why the relationship failed -- twice. Once when Kurt thought he could coast on his fairy tale relationship, neglecting that real relationships involve two partners willing to work through their issues, and once when Blaine thought he could magic away issues through grand romantic gestures and learned that he could be on his own without the reliance of the (false) happily ever after. But I digress.

Blaine is more outward in his expression of love. He does the grand gestures, the serenades, the over-the-top proposals -- he’s the one who says I Love You because he can’t hold it in. His heart is firmly on his sleeve most of the time. And because of that -- we see specific and explicit examples of Blaine expressing his love because of it.

Blaine also loves easily. He thought he was in love with Jeremiah after a few coffee dates, and he gave Karofsky a chance in a very short amount of time. He also formed a quick attachment to Sam. (Blaine also has a neediness and clinginess about him that is often misconstrued as examples of love - but that’s a whole other conversation.)

Because Blaine loves easily and outwardly, does that make his love for Kurt mean any more or less? Not at all -- his love for Kurt is very real and special, and shouldn’t be undermined. He’s not superficial in his love, and I think that’s the key thing here.

Meanwhile - Kurt, which is probably the heart of where this question wants to go. Kurt is almost the opposite. Kurt holds his heart close to his chest, even if he’s bad at it (see - crushes on Finn and later Blaine). But the difference between Kurt having a crush and Kurt being in love is that his love runs very, very deep and is unwavering. I should also note that Kurt doesn’t love easily -- it takes a lot for Kurt to trust anyone enough to be considered someone he loves, let alone someone he’d be in a romantic relationship where he gives out his heart.

Unlike Blaine, Kurt is not very outward with his expression of love, and what’s in his heart is a very private matter that really only he is privvy to. Think about Grilled Cheesus for a second - his dad almost dies, but he does not want the comfort of his friends around, because he feels that his relationship with is dad is sacred to them only. Letting other people in on that is hard, because that his emotions are such a private thing for him, and because he’s so used to having them be a private thing, opening up is a hard an vulnerable thing to do.

There are very few people Kurt is vicious to in the show. Kurt and Rachel, while I do believe in their friendship, can handle that kind of vicious back and forth that is one of the foundations of their relationship. But Kurt is not vicious with Blaine -- at all. (What about that one time he called Blaine psycho! -- **rolls eyes** okay that one comedically over the top argument aside, where Blaine definitely knows how to push back...I stand by what I said.) Kurt’s actually incredibly soft with Blaine more than he is with just about anyone else on the show.

When Kurt says something is precious to him -- he means it, and he wants to protect that. That is why when they broke up the first time, he’s world was so shattered. This perfect thing that meant so much to him wasn’t what he thought it was and he was very deeply bruised by it (he needed to learn the lesson, and see Blaine as a real boy - but I digress). That is why he broke it off with Blaine the second time -- because he felt like he was supposed to preserve that specialness, and didn’t want to tarnish it anyway - so running from it felt like the best choice.

That is why when he says ‘I love you;, ‘’ll always love you’, and ‘I’m never saying goodbye to you’ you can trust that he means it. There isn’t a moment on the show, since Kurt met Blaine, that Kurt didn’t love him.

Kurt isn’t going to have the big moments that Blaine has, because that’s not who he is -- but there is a ton of deeper subtext within a lot of things that makes it all the more delicious.

During Season 4 - when Rachel is talking about taking NYC by storm with their new men, and Kurt being over the break up - Kurt looks ill, cause he’s not over it, he’s still very much in love with Blaine. When he’s claiming he just wants to be friends (with benefits) there’s an underlayer there that Kurt’s heart is still very much with Blaine. During season 5 - Kurt tries, making sure he’s calling and checking in with Blaine. During season 6 - it’s that look in the elevator when Kurt’s worried that Blaine may not want him anymore, but he can’t help that he’s so deeply still in love.

(I also need to add that Kurt’s not the greatest at expressing his love, and often does so with Blaine by having sex, which leads to a whole other set of issues when Blaine withdraws from sex, which is a whole different fascinating conversation to have.)

And I could go on and on and on about how Kurt shows his love...

Eesh, I wish I was better at being focused and concise in these things. But bottom line -- Blaine and Kurt express their love in different ways -- one is more visible than the other, but it doesn’t mean that one is better or ‘more’ than the other. By the time they work their shit out at the end of the series, they’re aware of how they love each other, and are okay with that. Doesn’t mean they won’t continue have to various issues to work on, but that also doesn’t mean they love each other any less.

#that's how s.o. sees it #i promise i'm not angry - just nipping some of this in the bud #so i use old school colloquialisms whatever #also - I love talking about how Kurt loves it's so complex #Anonymous

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ae0nx · 4 years

Text

FRUITS BASKET S2 EPISODE 7 RECAP AKA ‘TOP TIER FURUBA SHIT’

An accurate representation of me getting ready to talk about this episode.

My guys... this episode pretty much hit all the points for me in what I expect of a Fruits Basket episode... and more! I loveeee this episode. I gotta admit last week’s episode was a bit of a shoulder shrug for me cos it was mostly a set up for the beach ‘arc’ but this. episode. I have way too many screen caps, I don’t know how I’ll do this.

And we open up with a big ‘fuck no’. I love the flash forward just to prepare the audience for a whole lot of hurt. Excellent. *pours myself a glass of wine*

- Hiro: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mum, just don’t trip over, ok?” Sorry about that guys, I just found out my Mum’s pregnant Everyone: Whaaaaa?!

Hiro’s nonchalance of it all had me dying 😂

I appreciate the ‘dog’ fan. Definitely accurate in more ways than one. Strike one.

Strike TWO. The fact he said that in front of not only Tohru but KISA AND HIRO is so gross. I’m not even joking. It’s just gross. Not a great joke at all. Poo poo.

STRIKE THREE. Akito... please come get your dog. It’s the only useful thing you can do rn anyway

Wow, Yuki. I actually teared up a little at his realisation. This whole episode should just be called ‘call 999 for these kids’.

Hiro’s mum just sounds like a Furuba fan tbh 😝😂 Also... are the zodiac members born in their animal forms? Or is it just in the first instance they are held by a parent of the opposite sex? Cos if it’s the first option, that’s pretty... messed up. But, theoretically hilarious at the same time!

Ohhhh... Tohru’s one of those people who like to push aside their own problems and focus on other people’s instead... Except, it’s not in an annoying and judge-y way at all. However, I am beginning to question whether she is actually that selfless and the real root of it is that Tohru needs a distraction from her own pain. Either way, it’s sad and I don’t think she’s doing it consciously at all which makes it even sadder.

Oh, Tohru.

Also, appreciation for Momiji being a human backpack at all times. And I love his cat eared hat! I want one! Our Outfit Appreciation Winner this week. 4 stars.

- Kisa/Hiro being a mini version of Kyoru was basically confirmed this episode and I am happy.

Such a gorgeous moment. Pretty much met the feelings and emotions I got from reading this moment in the manga AND MORE. It’s golden. And I love it. ...‘nuff said.

Oh look, Dad’s here too 🤣

*looks into the distance to a far off future...* ANYWAYS

- Kyo being so open and honest and vulnerable with Tohru to a point where he mistakenly already thinks he told Tohru all about his parents already is just... everything to me. Especially from someone like Kyo who’s constantly carrying all this baggage around. But jeez, we always forget that Tohru’s got baggage she’s carrying around too! Tohru and Kyo on surface level look like such opposites in every way but remove some layers and they are so similar, it’s uncanny! 😍🤡

I just love developing relationships. 🥰

- Kyoko definitely wanted to destroy that flowerpot 😈 We love her. We miss her.

He’s so in love with her, I can’t. I’m gonna cry. <3 Also, that expression feels like a very Kazuma expression, is it just me?

*spontaneously combusts*

But anyway... just cos we can’t have anything good for too long...

Tbh if I knew a Shigure, that’d be how I’d start every conversation.

I love Hatori. :) I mean he wouldn’t actually slice his gut open but it still means a lot to me that he said he would...

This go around of Fruits Basket has made me realise how much I relate to him and his position in the family. Every anime has a character that’s in their twenties and just... tired and I always relate best to them, shoutout to Keishin Ukai from Haikyuu.

Even though I hate Akito, I have an appreciation for the subtle shit the animators/designers do whenever they come onto screen. All of Akito’s actions have a kinda feather-lightness/almost ethereal feel to them and the way Akito is contrasted against not only the scenery but the other characters around them is... so gooood. I’ve already talked about how I love the emphasis on the presence of Akito in their first appearance in the anime but... I’ll still be talking about it cos it’s great. And I can’t wait to hear Colleen Clinkenbeard in this ep, but Maaya Sakamoto was stellar in this episode (fun fact: did you know she also played Haruhi in OHSHC?!?).

But yeah, I still hate Akito. Sorry.

- Kisa’s little sigh of relief that Tohru doesn’t have to meet Akito was already HEARTBREAKING but mixed with this moment....?!?!

...

I...

I just really need someone to explain to me how you could like Akito. Even after the ending of this whole series. Like...

I just don’t get it. I don’t...

Look, I’m gonna malfunction if I don’t move on.

Oh?

This is the start... of something new... it feels so right... to be here with you...

oooohhhh 🎶

👀

- Kinda sad that Kyo and Tohru had the house to themselves but there was so much weird and bad energy in the air that they couldn’t even really enjoy their pancakes :(

- That Akito and Shigure and Hatori (and partially Kureno) scene just really... disgusted me. To see someone have that much power in their touch and their words is... freaky and unsettling. And I love it cos it’s interesting but I also hate it soooo much. I have nothing more to say about it besides that really. I was more interested in the Shigure and Hatori moment afterwards...

That’s a nice way of putting it...

Maybe this was to be taken mostly as a joke, but do you think that Shigure actually wants Hatori to remind him how much of a shitbag he’s being? Most of my problem with Shigure (and why I actually liked 2001!Shigure but let’s not go there again) is that out of everyone in this series, he’s the most untouched. And yet he schemes and manipulates and seems to get everything he wants. AND what makes it even worse and annoying and spectacular, is that Shigure’s little nudges and pushes of the chess pieces which are the zodiac members aren’t so obvious to the extent that you could only blame him for it. It’s almost genius, if it weren’t so repulsive.

*sighs* I just really want him to either repent or feel some kind of guilt afterwards.

...Hence why I’m most interested in where he’s at after the end of this all.

All I want is a scene between him and Tohru, somewhat like this:

👀

...Ok, this moment made me like Shigure just by 5% more this episode. Still trying to figure out that Shigure/Akito relationship literally a decade later tho...

BACK TO SOME KINDA HAPPY(?) STUFF!

I love love love love love this moment between Yuki and Tohru. It was gorgeous!

I wish this scene were longer so I could make an AMV (if I really felt like it) with Coldplay’s ‘A Sky Full Of Stars’. The lyrics match the moment so much and I definitely cried.

Oh, Yuki...

It was such a beautiful way to end this episode. Wow.

And Yuki’s words to Tohru that ‘she’s just like the sky’ has so many meanings to it and I want to go into it but I’ll start really explicitly going into spoilers. So, I’ll just leave it as poetic cinema.

Perfect.

God, this was such a good episode, guys! I’d probably put this episode on the same level as the True Form episode. It gave us furuba shenanigans, it gave us kyoru, it gave us disgust and hurt and it gave us a moment of someone rising out of the ashes!

I love this anime. :) See you next week!

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket 2020

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whisker-biscuit · 4 years

Text

Home Is Where The Hedgehog Is

Fandom: Sonic Movie (2020)

Rating: G

Summary: Living with Donut Lord and Pretzel Lady is super fun, even if there are dumb rules he has to follow sometimes. Sonic is going to hold onto it with everything he has.

The first in a one-shot collection of a hyperactive hedgehog trying his best to fit in with his newfound family, and two humans who want him to know he doesn't need to try at all.

MAJOR spoilers for the Sonic Movie!

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Living in a house was much different than living in a cave.

For starters, the draft wasn’t nearly as bad, even when Sonic forgot to close the attic window at night. And now he had an actual, honest-to-goodness bed to burrow into when it really was that cold. Came with a blanket and pillow too, deluxe model!

The other thing that was different was the company, Tom and Maddie and Tom’s so-called “best friend”. Maybe he should have mentioned that one first, but hey, a hedgehog could only focus on so many new changes at one time.

Speaking of changes, a personal alarm clock wasn’t something he was expecting this morning.

“Good morning, Sonic!” Maddie’s head poked up past the attic trapdoor.

“Mmph…” The teen mumbled, curling into a tighter ball under the covers like it would make him invisible.

The woman hoisted herself up from the ladder and made her way to his side. “Come on, you promised you’d go to bed early tonight, so you can’t be complaining now. It’s time for breakfast, up and at ‘em.”

“Food?” A pair of ears perked out from the quill ball. Sonic’s head popped up soon after. “What kind of food?”

“Guess you’ll have to get up to find out, won’t you?” She winked at him and ruffled the fur on his forehead, then started heading back to the ladder.

There was a whoosh of wind and the pitter-patter of impossibly fast feet against the wooden floor, and suddenly Maddie was all alone in the attic.

“Come on slowpoke, I’m hungry!” Sonic called up to her from the hallway before he zoomed into the kitchen, sliding to a halt just in time to avoid crashing into the kitchen island. Tom was busy loading up three plates with eggs and bacon. He didn’t even flinch at the boy’s arrival.

“Morning, Sonic. What took you so long?” The man raised an eyebrow with a bit of a smirk as his comment made the hedgehog pout.

“It’s not my fault, you guys didn’t even wake me up! Ooh, is that my plate?”

“Ah, not yet,” Tom grabbed the offending plate and held it up out of Sonic’s reach. “Go wash your hands first.”

“But Tooooom…”

“You heard me the first time.”

“Ugh, fine. Why you hafta be such a stickler for rules? You were more fun on the road trip.”

“That’s because –” the man blinked and the teen was no longer there. He sighed good-naturedly as Maddie arrived looking just as frazzled.

“Day one,” she said with a smile and a slight giggle. Her arms found their way around his waist as he scraped grease off the skillet. “This might take some getting used to.”

“You’re telling me.” He tilted his head back to sneak a quick kiss to her cheek. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Me neither.” The woman hummed against him. A breeze picked up.

“Hey, if you wanted to do lovey-dovey couple things you coulda just said that.” Sonic sat at the table with his arms folded, kicking his legs out and giving them a scrunched up look like he couldn’t decide whether to be grossed out or resigned.

Maddie laughed and gave her husband another kiss, then released him from her hold to help carry their food. Tom shook his head, giving the boy a look. His response was a smirk and eyes too large to be innocent.

“Okay smart aleck, I expect to see that plate clean before you even think of excusing yourself from this table.”

By the way Sonic was eyeing the food laid out in front of him, it didn’t seem like a hard task.

Through breakfast, the three of them ate and chatted together like they had been doing it for years. There were a few mishaps – Sonic had a very bad habit of talking with his mouth full, and accidentally ratted Tom out when the man tried to sneak some bacon to the dog – but the energy didn’t wane at all. It wasn’t until Maddie pulled Sonic over to help her with the dishes that things started to quiet down. Tom, having made breakfast this time and contractually not required to help this time, went to change into his uniform.

The woman was making small talk as she washed the food off and handed each item to the teen to place in the dishwasher, and he’d occasionally interject with comments or questions. Just as they finished, however, Maddie noticed as she dried off her hands that Sonic had stopped talking entirely and was just staring at the hand towel she’d given him.

“Something on your mind?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, I mean no, it’s fine.” He was quick to toss the towel on the counter and rubbed the back of his head. “I just realized that I’ve never done this before.”

“Washing dishes?”

“That too but…all of it, I guess. It’s kinda weird. You guys have this whole routine thing going on and that’s cool, but for me it feels…. I dunno, more important? It’s dumb.”

He was starting to fidget in place, obviously wanting to say or do something else but not sure how to bring it up. Maddie frowned a little in thought and crouched so she was at the hedgehog’s level.

“Do you mean eating breakfast? Or – ah.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “You know, having company in everyday things is nice. I used to take it for granted.”

Sonic looked at her sharply. “What do you mean?”

“Well, Tom and I married not long before I started vet school. We had been so used to being around each other for every little thing that it felt like they weren’t ‘special’ anymore. I think that’s how it can get for a lot of people, honestly. But when I started school, we didn’t see each other nearly as often. I was gone all day for classes, and he had to pick up a second job to help make ends meet, which usually meant evening shifts. We barely had the chance to even sit down for a decent meal together, most days.”

The teen’s expression was opening up into something more vulnerable. “Was it hard?”

“Very hard. We still loved each other, so not being able to just be together without work or school in the way made it hard sometimes. But it was because we loved each other that those times we could just sit back and relax became so much more precious. It’s been a while since those days, but I try not to forget the feeling.”

She reached out and took his hand, making sure to keep steady eye contact. He was stock-still.

“It’s alright to find joy in doing things with people, even if they’re simple things like eating breakfast or doing chores. No one’s going to think it’s strange that you’re loving it. Especially not me or Tom. Okay?”

Sonic was staring at their connected hands. There was a barrier around his emotions in that moment that looked very close to crumbling. With a quiet sniff and a nod, he gave her a huge grin.

“Okay.”

Tom’s voice from the other room broke the moment.

“Why’d it get quiet all of a sudden? You two aren’t planning my untimely demise right now, are you?”

“You bet your badge we are!” The hedgehog called back, already settling into his more common mischievous persona. He made a motion to zip away, then stopped to give Maddie a tight hug first. She almost lost her balance from the impact but returned it anyway.

“Thanks, Maddie.”

“Always, kiddo.”

A blur, a whoosh, and he was gone.

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A/N: I'm back on my Sonic kick from forever ago, and there's no obvious end in sight. I love the found family trope, I love that it happened in the movie, and I love that Sonic is allowed to express real negative emotions (screw you Sega, do our blue boy justice). Have no idea how many of these I'm going to do nor how long they might get, nor do I know if they’ll all stay rated G. We’ll see.

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic movie #sonic the hedgehog movie #sonic movie spoilers #tom wachowski #maddie wachowski

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always-anxious612 · 4 years

Text

Magic in the Air: Chapter 6

Description: Everything is chaos with Roman, Dee, and Virgil all trying to master their magic. And If Patton can’t help with magic, then he could at least help Remus get a good grade. At least, that’s what he thought until everything started to backfire.

Pairings: roceit, analogical, intruality, platonic DRLAMP

Warnings: crying, pain mention (let me know if I missed something or you want something tagged)

Word Count: 1,529

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9

It had been a few days since Remus started practicing his makeup look on Patton. It was going pretty well in Patton’s opinion. Remus assured him that he thought it was coming along nicely as well, but Patton felt like he was frustrated for some reason. In fact, they had been beginning yet another practice session when Patton felt the odd feeling that something was ff with Remus once again. He studied Remus’s face as he leaned back to study his work so far.

“Looking fabulously gory already, Patton.” Remus grinned, making Patton raise an eyebrow. Why did it seem like frustration was practically radiating off of Remus when he seemed normal? Patton’s heart hurt a little as he tried to figure out what was wrong. He just wanted to help.

“Are you sure everything is going ok, Re?” he asked tentatively.

“Wha—of course everything’s going ok. I’ll have you looking like a broken bleeding human mess in no time.”

Patton bit his lip. He couldn’t help but feel that Remus was lying, but he didn’t really have anything to base it on other than he could just…feel it. Remus was focused on blending something on Patton’s forehead, looking unusually concentrated.

“Are—Are you sure that you’re ok?” Patton chanced asking again. Except for a subtle twitch in his expression, Remus remained focused.

“Of course, I am Patty. What’s with the questions? Not used to seeing me quiet and focused?” Remus cackled leaning back to examine what he was just working on. Patton let out a frustrated sigh and leaned back to study Remus’s face.

“Remus, please stop pretending. It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong right now but I know there’s something. You don’t have to pretend.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, tadpole.” Remus insisted, still smiling. Patton rolled his eyes fondly at the nickname but quickly leaned away when Remus tried to continue working. He could feel the frustration. He could feel something else too. Insecurity. Remus was radiating both emotions and Patton didn’t understand how he hadn’t noticed sooner. His heart twisted in pain. If he could just get Remus to open up, he could help.

“You do know what I’m talking about Remus. You do. Just—Just talk to me.” As soon as the words left his mouth, his heart started aching even more than before, radiating a sharp pain that wouldn’t leave. And suddenly Remus was crying through his smile. He—Patton couldn’t have—he didn’t cause—

“Calm down, Patty whack. I told you I’m fi—” he cut himself off with a sob and finally his smile slipped away.

“Wha—What? Why am I crying? When did this start? I feel fine?” Remus sniffled, trying desperately to push away his tears.

“Wait I’m sorry, Re I was too harsh. Please stop. I didn’t mean to make you cry. Don’t cry.” Patton panicked, not knowing how to respond. Surprisingly, Remus stopped at his request and wiped at his eyes. Patton’s heart clenched, his chest burning.

“Patton. What the—”

“I don’t—I didn’t. I just wanted to help you. I just want you to be able to tell me what’s wrong. Tell me what’s bothering you. Let it all out, Re Re.” Patton explained, trying to keep the edge of panic from his voice. Remus broke down again, cursing as he sobbed. He looked like he was struggling with something before finally opening his mouth.

“I’m scared I’m really not good enough to do this. What if my professor is right and I fail at the one thing I’m good at. What if I really am just a creep and a failure who no one likes. What if everyone hates my project. It’s too weird. I just want to make my professor proud. I want to make you proud. I can’t handle failing at my one passion. I can’t.” he blurted out.

“Remus.”

“What the heck. Patton, make it stop. I didn’t mean to. I feel like I can’t stop it. You—You’re doing this. Tell me to stop or—or something. Just make it stop, Patton.”

“Wha—o-ok, um, Remus, please calm down. Take deep breaths, ok? Breath for me, honey. Calm down.” Patton encouraged, drawing Remus into a hug. Remus sucked in a shaky breath and wiped at the tears streaming down his face. Patton sucked in a breath of his own. What had Remus meant he was doing this? Taking another deep breath, Patton pushed the thought aside, trying to clear his mind. After a few minutes, the sharp pain in his heart had mostly disappeared and he was much calmer.

“R-Remus, I’m so sorry for pushing you, but I’m sure you’ll do amazing for your makeup. You’re incredibly talented. But also, if your professor says it’s not good—which I can’t imagine will happen—that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You can always improve, and you’re trying your best. It’s important that you have fun. You love makeup. If you can’t enjoy doing it anymore, then you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Give yourself a break. What you create may not appeal to everyone but that’s fine. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, you’re incredible at the type of makeup you do. And I’m already proud of you, Re. You’re so creative and talented. Just because I don’t—I don’t exactly feel comfortable with some of the, um, darker things you make doesn’t mean I’m not proud of them or of you.”

Remus was silent and Patton was too nervous to try saying anything else. He didn’t mean to be so pushy. He really didn’t. Instead, he decided to simply hold Remus against his chest, rubbing his back in what he hoped was a comforting way.

“Patton, how did you do that?” Remus finally spoke up, his voice much softer and more vulnerable than usual.

“D-Do what?” Remus sighed and shifted in Patton’s arms, curling more into his chest.

“You—I wasn’t feeling that bad before. I was frustrated, yeah. And I guess all those thoughts were there, but when you told me to talk to you…I couldn’t stop crying. I physically couldn’t stop. When you said stop, I stopped. When you said to let it all out, I—I let it all out. I tried to stop the words. I tried to stop crying. I just—I couldn’t.”

“You think I forced you to—Remus. But that would mean that I have—But I would never. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I didn’t mean to make you tell me that stuff against your will. I would—I would never. I’m sorry. I’m sorry Remus.” Patton apologized over an over again, clinging to Remus who was squished against his chest. It wasn’t until he heard soft sniffles that Remus pulled away.

“Hey, Patty-whack, it’s ok. At this point, I’m pretty sure you have magic. And if it’s magic that we’re talking about. None of the others could really control it when they first discovered theirs either. It makes about as much sense as I do most of the time. In my opinion, you’re one of thos feelings people. What are they called? Empathy? Empass? Empath? Whatever, we’ll talk to Logan about it later, ok?” he soothed, gently wiping Patton’s tears away.

“Ok.” Patton whispered.

“Come on now. You’re going to ruin your makeup.”

“Sorry, Re.” Patton said, pausing in the process of going to wipe at his eyes.

“It’s fine. Actually, the dripping mascara kinda adds more creepy to it. I’ll have to see what I can do with that.” Remus replied, examining the makeup.

“Anyway, you can just wipe it off, we can practice more tomorrow.”

“Oh, but, um—I don’t mind starting over. I-If you like.” Patton stammered. He didn’t want to ruin Remus’s makeup practice on top of everything else.

“Pat, don’t worry about it, k? I still have plenty of time to practice. We can just relax for now, yeah?” Remus assured, tone becoming unusually caring. Sighing, Patton nodded and went to take off the makeup. He was still a bit worried for Remus, but he was sure he’d be ok. Remus wasn’t one to lose hope or be rattled easily. In fact, Remus was so tough and chaotic that it was sometimes hard to remember that he needed reassurance just like everyone else. Patton made a mental note to start complimenting him more. He deserved it anyway. And Patton, well Patton was terrified of messing up, of saying something wrong, of not being able to help those he cared about but…he’d be ok too, eventually.

When Patton returned to the living room, Remus had packed up all of his makeup supplies and had started a Disney movie.

“Hey, Patty! Check this out! Bet you didn’t know I could do this with my tongue!” Remus called from the couch. Patton couldn’t help the giggle that slipped out of his mouth. Yeah, Remus would be alright, and Patton would do better at helping him and learning to not be so, um, pushy when it came to good and gross. As for his apparent magic, he’d talk to Logan about it eventually. Today though, he’d rest. And with Remus cuddled to his side, that’s exactly what he did.

Taglist: @catolicabuena @look-ma-im-on-tv @its-always-the-witching-hour @sure-i-exist @wellhellothere09 @star-crossed-shipper @cemmy @lila-lupus

#crying tw #pain tw #roceit #analogical #intruality #platonic drlamp #ts patton #ts logan #ts roman #ts virgil #ts deceit #ts remus #sanders sides #sanders sides fics #my fics #cait writes #ts magic au #ts human au

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urproblematicfav-arsonk · 4 years

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There's a lot of things about Borderlands 3 that makes it kinda a garbage game. And all of those things are valid and true but a aspect of bl3 that deeply bothers me isn't something I've really seen people talk about?? Maybe they have but I missed it but I want to say my interpretation. (Also like, spoiler warning throughout all of this post)

To start off with: hi, I'm a autistic afab nonbinary person and this is relevant for this little rant I'm bout to go on.

I want to begin by stating why I love this franchise so much.

Borderlands, whether you like it or not, is INCREDIBLY queer. And not in a coded kind of way, it's just flat out gay as fuck. And that means so fucking much to me. Borderlands 2 was one of the first times I ever felt fully represented in a game. Zer0 being this dumbass making Yugioh references and generally being a fun garbage boy and also being nonbinary meant a lot to me and I adore him to this day (nonbinary people can use gendered pronouns fuc off). And getting more and more into this series and finding out that basically every character was on some level queer was really cool to me. Maya being asexual and most of the characters being attracted to multiple genders so honestly and off handily was so refreshing and amazing to get to play through. The casual mentions of a woman's wife or some man's husband in the echo's you find or Moxxi talking about her ex girlfriends was one of the reasons I loved this so much.

Another thing I loved particularly about Borderlands 2 was how feminist it was. I can not tell you how quickly I lost my shit at Mr. Torgue talking about the friend zone being misogynistic(it is btw). And the repeated jokes about fully murdering men for being rude to women was some of the highlights of my first playthrough. Punching a guy till he explodes because he disrespected a sex worker?? Fucking immaculate.

SPEAKING OF SEX WORK.

Mad Moxxi is a icon. She is a mother of MULTIPLE children, a survivor of rape and assault and a fucking bad bitch who runs a now intergalactic titty bar. Getting to have not only a sex worker be respected in a narrative, Moxxi is fun and a genuinely complex character who isn't defined by her job or her appearance. She is emotional and strong and funny and flawed but amazing person.

And then there's the way the male characters a represented and treated. I'll be honest here, I haven't really played Borderlands 1, mostly because have been spoiled by auto pick up and also I just didn't feel like it. So my idea of most of the men are based entirely off of Bl2, the pre-sequel and Tales. Anyway, Mordecai in particular is a character I really liked upfront. I love how a lot of his motivation and character is driven by his love of animals and Bloodwing. He's kind and though troubled knows when to get his shit together and be there when he needs to be. His casual "are you okay?" After the latter falls in the Arid Nexus was such a nice moment and the way he genuinely tries to be there emotionally for all of the people around him who he cares for is so fucking rare to see in a male character. And his arc of giving up alcohol to focus on being a better bird dad and you getting to help Brick make Mordecai a special gift to celebrate his sobriety is so amazing and I'm so proud of him.

Mr. Torgue is my dad and I love him. As mentioned, he is normal and believes that the friend zone is absolute garbage talk is ICONIC™ and the best scene in that game fight me. Torgue is a crybaby. He is an emotional person who is not afraid to express his pain and hurt when people are mean to him. He respects women and loves unicorns. The fact that is physical appearance is a big muscle guy who screams but is the literal opposite of toxic masculinity will forever make him the best male character of all time and I love him and he is my dad.

Roland was a character that I was never in particularly attached to but I still respect him and did enjoy his presence. I really appreciated his leadership style being primarily based on empathy and logic as opposed to him being a big meanie man with a HUGE dick who yells at people. I always really resonated with the echo from Tannis talking about how she came to Sanctuary. Roland going out of his way to bring Tannis to safety while completely respecting her autism and struggle with socializing really made his death hit harder when Tannis was very obviously distraught by losing him. It really seems that Roland was the only one who didn't treat her differently. And as someone who's autistic, finding people who legit 100% understand and respect you and just let you live the way you want/need to is kinda hard and those are the qualities I'd personally want in a leader.

Angel is also a big spot of affection for me. Handsome Jack being a irrefutably horrible person who Angel flat out says gaslights people and killed her means a lot to me considering 99% of Bad Parent stories end with "I forgive u" getting to see an abusive victim take that narrative and say fuck you was powerful and meant a lot to me coming from my own abusive home life.

There's a lot of other things I love about Borderlands but if I keep going I won't stop lol so let's get into why Borderlands 3 makes me so uncomfortable.

One of the main things that bothered me was the sexism. Its nothing too horrifying but given how feminist bl2 was it was really shocking and a bit hurtful the number of times women are called bitches or made to seem crazy. If you recall I brought up how you punch a man to death for calling a woman a bitch? Yea no, in this game we mock women for having boundaries and opinions because lol she's just a CRAZY BITCH who just needs to stop acting so hysterical am I right guys?

Yea the whole mission with that stupid bear thing and his ex robot girlfriend made me insanely uncomfortable and upset. I kept waiting for the gotcha moment where it says actually this bear guy is a dick and he shouldn't use language like that but no we just,,,,,, are supposed to laugh along. I hate it.

Even though Borderlands 3 is still very much queer, this game introducing 2 new trans characters as well as a whole DLC about a gay marriage and one of the playable characters being a lesbian there was this some shit that bothered me.

The mission where you crash and ruin a lesbian wedding.

That mission made so upset and uncomfortable. I hated how traumatized and hurt Tumorhead was as I murdered her family and wife. I hated how unfulfilling the mission was where PLOT TWIST the lady was actually a spy or whatever. I hate how there's a mission about ruining some poor psycho ladies wedding. I would've much more preferred a mission where Idk Bloodshine asks you to help her kill a spy who's causing problems and then fucking go around Promethea collecting wedding decorations or something. OR MAYBE JUST NOT A MISSION WHERE YOU KILL LESBIANS FOR NO FUCKING REASON.

I'm mad, anyway.

I also hated how Tannis was treated in this game. Under absolutely no circumstance would Doctor Patricia Tannis ever willingly take up a position of leadership. She is a severely autistic woman who gets nose bleeds from talking to people she wouldn't just be like "I'm in charge now pls talk to me!!!" Fuck off. And the joke about her dating a minecart isn't funny. The whole thing with the chairs, though funny in its absurdities was still a very important and powerful moment of character exploration. Tannis is insane. She is traumatized and hurt and in a moment of severe torture, she humanized some inanimate objects to cope. Tannis crying over the echo over Phillip is a heartbreaking moment of true vulnerability. It is also funny, because that's how good dark comedy works. It can be both hysterical and emotionally ruining at the same time. So what exactly does Tannis divorcing a minecart mean? What is this saying about her character? Why is it funny? Because lol lol reference??? Again, fuck off.

I hate how the Calypso twins childhood is handled. Troy implies it was horribly abusive and traumatic. But when we met Typhon whatever, he acts like it wasn't that bad??? He acts like he just didn't buy his kids the latest iPhone and oh no whoopsie now they're evil, my bad guys. It feels super weird and I don't like it.

Speaking of abusive parents. THEY DID MY GIRL ANGEL DIRTY SO BAD. This was literally when I decided I hated this game. Angel being the one who killed her mother and not Jack was fucking horrible. Especially after the literal foreshadowing in borderlands 2 implying he did. The fact that Jack is treated like a fearful man making what he thought was the right decision was insulting. I get that MattPat manipulated the fandom into thing Jack is a uwu bean but fuck you, you're the writers and you should fucking know better. Handsome Jack saw his daughter had power and turned her into a living battery for him to use as he saw fit. He was not scared and he was NOT right. Fuck you and fuck you for framing child abuse as chill and ok if your spooked enough like that. And the mission directly contradicts the echo's in Get To Know Jack. If Angel killed her mom why does she ask Jack where her mommy is when he's putting her in her chambers?? Why is it in the echo Jack is aggressive and forcibly and hurtfully makes her go into her chambers but in the memory, he's quiet and passive about it?? That's literally just flat out bad writing. Also fuck you.

Anyway,

I think that's really all I wanted to say about this topic. Obviously, there are also things that suck about bl3 but I'll try to chill and not make this too long.

I mostly wanted to make this to see if people cared/are bothered by the same things I am. I've seen how some of the fandom treats the more emotional and gay aspects of this franchise(the people throwing a fit over Amara, the friend zone line, not respecting trans peoples pronouns, sexualizing and being gross about Moxxi)

Anyway that's it byeeeeeeeeeeeee

#rant time #i was also gonna post this on reddit but it turns out i don't know how to use that app lol #so i prob wont #but dont worry still got tumblr #anyway #borderlands #borderlands spoilers #borderlands 3 spoilers #borderlands 3 #borderlands 2

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iheardarumorxxx · 4 years

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Midnight Sun, Chapter 2 - Open Book

Not even a full paragraph in and I have to call Weirdo on something. In the Twilight canon, it is often mentioned that vampires are always always always cold. Like, big old blocks of perfectly sculpted ice. But here, Eddie boy says that his skin had cooled to match the air around him. Can’t work that way. Either Pires are heat sinks that are always freezing, or their temperature can change based on the temperature around them. Can’t be both.

Also gonna bring up the chapter titles real quick. Maybe SM will try to hamfist it, but in Twilight the chapter titles were (supposedly) related to the chapter. First Sight was Bella (supposedly) falling in love at first sight w Edward, and Open Book was Bella going on about how she was an open book and couldn’t hide anything and wore her emotions on her face etc etc. It doesn’t make sense to me to keep the same chapter titles when we’re obstensively living in the head of a different character.

Would have been, if I'd been able to really see it.

What SM was going for here was ‘Edward was so lost in his own head that he couldn’t even see the sky above him even though it was beautiful’ but this doesn’t work. Wanna know why? It’s because of this: The sky above me was clear, brilliant with stars, glowing blue in some places, yellow in others. The stars created majestic, swirling shapes against the black universe - an awesome sight

Weirdo described the sky with perfect, flowery detail, expressed outright the colors that were swirling above him and the way the stars swirled and made shapes. He wouldn’t have been able to do that if he was too focused on his own thoughts to pay attention to it. This is what I mean when I say that SM hasn’t really mastered the First Person POV. This would have absolutely worked if instead of ‘I’ it had said ‘he’.

As a note: Weirdo calling Bella ‘unremarkable’ in terms of how she looks just comes off as those shitty ‘you aren’t even that hot’ responses from people when they get rejected.

And Weirdo describing the way Tanya leaps at him reads really flat and boring. The play by play method to show how Graceful and Ethereal the Pires are is gross and the flat emotionless tone makes it read like a laundry list of actions.

Chagrin sighting number two. And I’ve gotta say, this little thing with Weirdo and Tanya reads a little more realistically than any interaction between our main couple throughout the entire Twilight Saga. Sure, Widdle Eddie isn’t into her, but they’re openly and honestly communicating about it, which is more than Bella and Weirdo ever did.

Mostly Tanya preferred human men

This sentence right here completely invalidates Weirdo’s entire argument about how he would murder Bella with his Schlong if he ever gave into his desire for her, as there is clearly a way to hook up with a pathetic, weak human without killing them.

Two chagrins in one chapter, I am blessed.

though her feelings were not deep, hardly pure, and, in any case, not something I could return.

This goes back to that thing I was bitching about in chapter one about Weirdo and only reading surface level thoughts. He isn’t an empath, he can’t descern from her surface thoughts how deep her feelings might be. Based on how his power comes across, it’s likely that he can’t actually interpret any kind of tone at all, and is guessing at the emotion behind the thought. Just because Tanya makes a passing thought about Eddie that may be ‘unpure’ (gag) doesn’t mean that her feelings for him are strictly lusty and naughty.

By the way, it’s only chapter two and I’m already sick of hearing about Bella’s ‘chocolate brown eyes’.

That time jump that they did from Snowy Alaska back to Fork High cafeteria was jarring. We have literally travelled through space time to get back to The Plot(tm) as quickly as possible. Maybe, just maybe, it would have been beneficial to see some of Weirdo’s drive back, get some more introspection, more of an idea of how he plans to handle himself re: The Bella Thing, even if it is in his whiny, affected urple prose.

Humans were constantly desperate to feel normal, to fit in. To blend in with everyone else around them, like a featureless flock of sheep.

Unlike our great, wonderful, perfect Pires, of course. They would never dare to try fitting in with the Sheep that they have decided to live among and try to blend in with. This goes to prove my point that SM’s Pires don’t give a flying shit about blending in with humans, even though it is supposedly Vampire Mafia Law that they don’t get exposed.

"Maybe you're not as scary as you think you are,"

Despite the fact that SM tries so hard to make him come off as the stereotype of ‘dumb jock’, Emmett deserves a better series than this one. Not being afraid to roast Weirdo is absolutely fucking A+ in my book.

We are, yet again, applying Pire logic and physics to not Pire things to show how Strong and Powerful and Amazing our Pires are. I must once again posit that these things are not Pires, and therefore, would not behave in this manner, even when a Pire is interacting with it.

I am once again unconvinced by this Let’s Shit On Jessica Stanley thing I’m having to schlock through. Sure, she’s a lil petty, but she doesn’t come across as overt mean girl bully and she never has. SM never made her feel like anything more than a (in fairness, extremely stereotypical) teenage girl trying to be nice to the new girl in school and being put off by her weird behavior.

Small point to make here, just because I realized how bored I was with the debate over whether Weirdo would go to class and murder Bella or not. Because this is a companion piece to an already published novel, we know what’s gonna happen. Now, a good author wouldn’t let that stop them from making the tension feel real. Even though I know the outcome, I would still be focused on the journey to get there. But I’m not, because it reads as dry and dull. The tension isn’t there and I’m not enjoying the journey to get to the ending I already know. The characters aren’t even likeable enough to keep me entertained. This is why companion pieces and POV shift retellings are so hard to do.

it was hard to believe that anyone so vulnerable could ever justify hatred.

I feel like this is supposed to be the first lil glimmer that Weirdo is In LUV with Bella or whatever in this POV, but the thing is, his patronizing tone and the way he is seemingly always going on about how weak and pathetic Bella is just kinda makes it feel like he’s acting like her Dad.

Though they didn't want to stand out from the herd, at the same time they craved a spotlight for their individual uniformity.

I only have one thing to say about this. Fuck You Edward Cullen.

I feel like Weirdo is starting to craft this idea of Bella in his head, much like he does with everyone else, but because he doesn’t have the crutch of using his surface thought mind reading powers, he has to guess at her thoughts (much like typical normal human people do because we’re weak and pathetic unlike the Pires), and he’s basically assigning her the thoughts he thinks she should be having. He’s crafting Bella into the perfect ideal for himself without taking her atonomy into consideration.

"Ladies first, partner?"

This is a continuity error. In Twilight, he did not say ‘Partner’, just ‘Ladies first’. It’s nitpickey, and I’m aware that it’s nitpickey, but it’s jarring if you know Twilight well enough to know the dialogue. If we’re going to see the same scene from a different POV, the only thing changing should be the inner monologue, not the dialogue between characters.

I could feel myself warming slightly to the higher temperature.

Bzzzzt, no. I already talked about this earlier, but everything established in canon shows that Eddie doesn’t ever warm up. He and Bella cuddle under a blanket and he is still described as rock hard marble adonis ice. He can’t warm up, according to established canon.

And in this chapter, we finally start the Shitting On Mike Newton run. Mike is the fucking worst in this book and is treated like shit, all because -- can you guess??? -- all because he thought the new girl was pretty and had a little crush on her. Mike gets shit on SO FUCKING MUCH in this series just for daring to think Bella is pretty.

Ignorance was bliss to the human mind.

OR EDDIE YOU’RE JUST ARROGANT AND RUDE AND NOT AS INTERESTING AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. The Cullens fucking PRANCE around this school in their designer beige turtlenecks with their flashy fucking cars and look down their noses at the pleb humans who could never be as good as they are, and especially with the way SM wants to paint Forks as this fucking insular hick town where everyone knows everyone and are probably socioeconomically lower than American average, its RUDE AND GROSS and makes them look like stuck up fucking JERKS. But sure. Keep touting on about how humans are scared of you.

And yet again, we get an example of Eddie boy ignoring the fact that Bella (for all of her faults) is a HUMAN PERSON and not some game for him to play. ‘Wahhh, I can’t read her thoughts, that makes me angy and frustrated’ and whining about how he wants her to GO AWAY because her blood makes his froat hurt but how he wants her to stay because she’s so MYSTERIOUS AND DEEP.

This didn't fit with the scenario I'd been constructing in my head.

And this is exactly the point I was making up there. Edward is making wild assumptions about Bella based solely on his experience with the human condition from his immortality, but he is also crafting her into what HE thinks is the right way for her to be in his mind without taking into consideration that she is a complex human with feelings and emotions. But instead of actually correcting himself, he continues to do this, and we know he does because he continues to posit that she’s deep and wise even though we know different from being in her POV for three and a half books.

A lot more of this dialogue is changed from the conversation in the original Twilight than I thought. It should be easy to keep at least the dialogue consistent.

I clearly was not as perceptive as I gave myself credit for.

This is the most true thing that Eddie is going to think in this entire book, and it isn’t even genuine and that upsets me so much.

my mother always calls me her open book.

I would like to use my solid four years of Twilight knowledge to point out that Bella Swan is not an open book, she’s a lying liar who lies about things, even though she says all the time that she doesn’t like lying. She was always going on about how she fakes her emotions for the benefits of others, she is not an open book at all.

The reason she was upset was because she thought I saw through her too easily.

And, of course, Weirdo eats this shit right the fuck up.

"I find you very difficult to read." "You must be a good reader then,"

This exchange didn’t make sense in Twilight, and it still doesn’t make sense here. Unless Bella is being sarcastic based on her previous statement, the exchange just... isn’t good. And it’s pretty clear that Bella isn’t being sarcastic. So. Explain it, someone, pls.

Emmett still deserves a better book than this one. He is literally out here like ‘Everyone makes mistakes, Eddie boy.’ But we are still talking about murder here, so...

And that’s chapter two. I didn’t mean to do it all in one long post, but I couldn’t really see a good break in it to cut it in half. The human bashing is already getting worse and it’s making me annoyed. As you can probably tell from the Cap Locks. We get the first glimpse of Eddie being ‘protective’ that we know is gonna get creepy and paternal as the story goes along. And I know that SM was going for an old timey thing with Eddie, but Bella’s inner monologue was really dry and boring, and Weirdo is even worse in that area. Yet again, we see the First Person POV slipping. Little things that just don’t work in Eddie’s head.

Join me tomorrow for more, and thanks for reading along.

#sierra recaps stuff #ms liveblog #midnight sun #midnight sun spoilers #long post #ms chapter 2

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heartofsnark · 4 years

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Black Market Wonderland (Chapter Eight): Here Comes The Sun

Notes: After 9000000000 Years Tsuneko returns, sorry for the break, I’d say it won’t happen again but it will. I know me, sometimes I try to write and my brain says no, you won’t be doing that. Plus, grad school and internship and everything else that is life. I have three chapters written, including this and I also have a new series I’ve been working on. So, i promise Snarky is writing.

Word Count: 11, 621

Warnings: Angst (is that even a warning here, like everything is sad man), mamo is a gross man who eats garbage, lying and cursing?

Missed the last chapter? Link Here!

She saw the man beneath the Mad Hatter costume. For just the briefest second, she saw him. There and gone within a blink of an eye. She could almost convince herself that it didn’t happen, that it was a shadow or a weird flicker of light, she’s tired and seeing things, but she knows better. Any hope of reforming that odd connection they had before has been dashed now that she’s seen the human beneath the costume.

One look at his panic-stricken expression and she can’t see him as anything other than painfully human. He may still be disconnected from her life and the world outside of Wonderland, but he’s not as far removed from reality as she once thought.

And that’s for the best. Seeing him as anything less was wrong, she knows that.

But, what does she do now?

She drums her fingers along the box of pastries, biting her lip, trying to figure out her next step. He doesn’t seem fond of the idea of her seeing him like this, he ran away for god’s sake. Following along with it would be easy, write a note, put the cupcakes down and pretend she never saw him.

Is that for the best, though?

Hiding away from reality, from everyone, and hiding behind a character. That’s not healthy. It can’t be. Granted, Tsuneko is far from the authority on mental health and maybe she’s in no place to help anyone else, but…

Ignoring would be bad, she’s saying ignoring is bad.

Being delicate isn’t her strong suit, her approach to life is more akin to a bull in a china shop. But, ambushing the Hatter with reality doesn’t strike her as the greatest idea. He seems fragile, to say the least, the proverbial china she’s trying not to break.

She strengthens her resolve with a deep breath and takes the few steps towards his bedroom door, knocking on it. There’s a small sound of rustling, like he’s panicking. Tsuneko chews her lip for a moment before she speaks.

“Hey…are you a friend of the Hatter?’

She gives him an out. It’s not avoiding it, but she’s giving him a chance. He has the choice, play along or tell the truth. She’ll meet him where he’s at. The door opens just a small crack and heat floods her face and a small noise of exclamation catches in her throat as she gets a second good look at the Hatter.

He’s adorable. Ridiculously so. Big dark doe eyes that widen at the sight of her. Thick glossy black hair just starting to dry. His facial features are soft and delicate for a man, his skin is not as ghostly white as the Hatter costume, but he’s pale enough that she can see a few faint traces of blue veins.

“I’m…a friend of the Hatter,” he finally says, the voice is the same but softer. The flamboyance and vigor of the Hatter has been replaced by shyness and uncertainty.

A part of her is disappointed that he takes the out. But patience is a virtue that she desperately needs to work on. Considering how it wasn’t that long ago that she was yelling at him, she can’t be shocked that he’s not ready to be vulnerable with her.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she offers, but he doesn’t seem any more comfortable, he seems desperate to hide back in the bedroom.

His eyes shift downward to the side, not meeting her gaze for a moment longer. For a moment his mouth gapes open, but no words come out, stuck in his throat despite how clear it is he has something he wants to say. A soft bite to his lip before his whisper of a voice meets her ears again.

“What…what are you doing here?”

There’s a tremble to his voice and she wonders for a moment if this is normal for him, or if her tirade from before has made him more fearful of her.

“Oh, uh, I actually wanted to talk to the Hatter…to apologize. I, kinda snapped at him the other day and said a lot of stuff I didn’t mean to.”

“Oh…”

“I, uh, brought lemon chiffon cupcakes for him, figured might make him feel better. I’m, uh sure, he wouldn’t mind if you had some, if you want ‘em.”

She’s rambling. She knows she’s rambling, why isn’t her mouth stopping, who made her like this?

“I mean, I don’t know if you two have the same taste or whatever, but who doesn’t like cupcakes, so-”

“I’ll….,” his whisper makes her shut up, “let him know you stopped by.”

“Okay, uh, I’ll leave the cupcakes on the table, for whoever wants them.”

The hint of a soft smile pulls at his lips and it feels like she’s seen a new plushie, every fiber of her being screaming at her to hug him and coo over how cute he is.

“Night, Alice…”

His whispers again, before shutting the door. She takes a deep breath and puts the cupcakes out on the table, this isn’t exactly how she wanted this to go. But, given the situation, she’s not sure what else she can do.

A more proper talk or apology would have eased the tension tight in her chest. The cool air does nothing to soothe her as she makes her way back to her dorm. It’s late and the dormitory is desolate, it seems like by the time she returns every night the building has become a ghost town.

Since she’s been working at the hotel, her only constant companion has been Kiyo, which is her own fault. She’s kept people at a distance. The Hatter has locked himself alone in Wonderland with just Cheshire to stave away loneliness. Maybe that’s why she wants to help him. She keeps telling herself time and time again that she needs to get her shit together, but then something sends her spiraling right back to that dark place.

Within the same week, she went from being determined to get out of this and get her life back on track to questioning if she should end it all within less than a week. It’s erratic. She’s stuck in her own head and destroying herself.

She lets Kiyo free roam while she grabs a shower. The hot water and steam help clear her mind, letting her relax for a moment. Her mind continuously drifts to the situation of everything. Both with the Hatter, the penthouse guests, and what comes after all of this.

A part of her wants to help the Hatter, another part of her thinks she can’t help anyone if she’s a mess herself. A part of her wants to get back into University, another part of her says it’s not worth it, just wants to end everything.

Her emotions and thoughts are constantly ricocheting and contradicting each other, she can’t seem to get a handle on what she actually wants or needs to do.

The water runs cold and she forces herself out from under it. The air is cold on her skin and she groans, running a hand over her face.

She might have been content with being a maid, the job and benefits itself are fine, but with the auctions she wants as far away from the hotel as possible.

Helping the Hatter would be nice, but she can’t. It’s not her place nor her job. Her life is in shambles, she’s in no place to play savior. Helping with a robbery is one thing, addressing his mental health is too much. She can’t get involved.

But, if she wins the bet, what does she want? Logically, she knows suicide is no answer. She knows that she doesn’t really want to die, but she can’t help thinking it’s better for everyone.

Tsuneko dries off and pulls on pajamas before leaving the bathroom. Falling back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Every time she thinks of what she wants, her brain drifts back to one childish answer.

She wants to go home. Kyushu, back to her childhood home, not dorm rooms in Tokyo. She wants a hug from her dad. But, he doesn’t know about her expulsion. He thinks she’s still in school, working on her degree. She’s avoiding talking to him for almost a year now, because she doesn’t want to tell him. Doesn’t want to disappoint him.

So much of her childhood, she talked about getting out of there, being a child, he could be proud of and she failed. Then she lied about it. Why would he want anything to do with her? She’s took her shot and missed. Now, she wants to go running back home to her dad. It’s pathetic, what if he doesn’t want anything to do with her.

Despite her ignoring, he still calls and leaves voicemails regularly, she just doesn’t answer. She’ll shoot quick texts about being busy with school, enough that he knows she’s not dead. He’s so proud of her for working so hard. If he doesn’t know, she keeps that. But, if she tells him the truth, she risks losing it, losing him. What if he hates her for it?

What is he going to tell people? His daughter who went off to become some hotshot lawyer cleans bathrooms for a living now. He’d be just as embarrassed as she is, he’d never want to talk to her again.

But is this any better?

She doesn’t know when tears started, hot and wet on her cheeks. It’s not the panicky sobs she’s had lately, a soft quiet sort of melancholy. She scrubs a hand over her eyes.

She’s been afraid of losing her dad, but she’s basically already lost him if she’s cutting him off. Hasn’t she?

There’s a tug on her hand where it hangs over the bed, Kiyo’s teeth wrapped around her fingers. Not enough to break skin or hurt, he squirms backwards trying to steal her away from her thoughts.

“What are you doing, baby boy?”

She lets him lead her by the finger, having to hunch over to do so. Kiyo takes her to his little stash of toys. It’s a mish mash of toys bought specifically for him and stuffed animals he’s decided are now his, plus whatever he’s stolen.

“Yes, I know, I got you- are those my socks?”

He excitedly let’s go of her hand to show his new toy, a pair of her socks.

“Not only are you a thief, you’re stupid enough to show me what you stole? Really, Kiyo, are you that proud of yourself?”

She makes a grab to get the socks out of his mouth, but he promptly runs off with them. Eyes still rimmed red with tears, she laughs and chases after him. Peals of laughter and Kiyo’s dooking noises fill the dorm as she runs after him. After nearly knocking into her dresser, she manages to scoop him up in her arms. He lets go of her socks and snuggles against her. Her fingers scratch over his fur as she sits down on her bed.

“You’re sick of seeing your mommy cry, aren’t you baby?”

She holds him out in front of her, he makes a soft noise and she considers that a confirmation.

“Well, I’m done throwing a pity party. If I have time to cry about it, I have time to do something about it. I’m gonna win the bet, then I’m biting the bullet and coming clean about everything to my dad. Then I’m gonna get to work to actually change my life.”

He makes an excited dooking noise, the sound of it strengthens her resolve even more.

“I’ll go in early tomorrow, to ask Kenzaki about looking at security footage, get the information from the Hatter, and have a proper talk. I’m not gonna get too involved, but I’m not gonna keep anymore distance than normal.”

Kiyo yawns, tongue sticking out of his mouth when he closes it again. His eyes are starting to drift shut.

“Okay, time for bed then, good talk.”

Tsuneko smooches the top of his head then gets him settled in for the night. She reads over the auction items again and paints her nails. The sparkly red polish is replaced with a deep dark indigo. She’s managed to clear her head a bit more before she finally goes to sleep.

Having caught her second wind, Tsuneko walks with confidence into the Tres Spades. It’s early morning, even earlier than usual, but she doesn’t sleep much. There’s not a lot if activity in the lobby at this hour and Kenzaki is at the check in desk.

“You’re here early, Tomori,” Kenzaki comments with his usual serene expression.

“Yeah, I was actually hoping to help out with the guest in the tea room, is there anyway I could look at the security footage for the back lot?”

“That shouldn’t be necessary anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“Security isn’t something you need to concern yourself with, Tomori.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’ve never had an issue with safety here,” she grumbles under her breath and turns to leave.

“Actually, there was something I needed to speak with you about as well.”

“Hm?”

“Do you remember the Renard family?”

“Yeah, they were here a month or two ago, right?” Tsuneko nods, the little girl Anais ended up clinging to Tsuneko’s side for a good portion of her stay since her parents were busy.

“Yes, they checked in late last night. It appears you made quite an impression on their daughter, they’re requesting you attend to their room and watch over her during their stay.”

“Aren’t they VIP guests?” Tsuneko raises an eyebrow, VIP’s are specifically Erika and the twin’s responsibility.

“Yes, which is why it’s important to fulfil their request.”

“Fine by me.”

Unlike the penthouse maid, this is something she’s actually earned, and Erika isn’t going to ruin it for her.

“Please meet with them in the lobby at the beginning of your shift.”

“Understood.”

With that Tsuneko starts to walk down to Wonderland. Hopefully, the Hatter has had a chance to write down what she asked of him. There should logically be a list of people who’ve participated in the auction and what they’ve sold, assuming Ichinomiya isn’t running a disorganized shit show. If the Hatter remembers what the March Hare and Dormouse were carrying or even what date it was, she could ask one of the penthouse residents to check it against the list of participants. It’s a long shot, but since Kenzaki won’t let her look at security footage, it’s her best bet.

She takes the stairs down two at a time, her steps echoing. As she’s nearing the bottom, she realizes her steps aren’t the only ones ringing out. Along with shuffling and muffled talking. Anxiety creeps up her spine and settles in the back of her mind. Did those men come back? Who else is down here? Her pace quickens and she jumps the last few steps, her feet hitting the concrete with a heavy noise.

Two men are packing a familiar bronze statue, they pause and shoot her confused looks. She never saw the Dormouse and March Hare out of costume, but it would be odd to return the items they’ve stolen. The strangers shake their heads and pack the statue into Wonderland, the door open for them. She trails in after them, there’s even more men she doesn’t recognize in Wonderland, all packing items that belong to the Hatter. Her eyes narrow, what is happening?

“Excuse me, Miss.” Someone says behind her, carrying what looks like a broken globe, and she moves out of his way and utters an apology. At least they’re polite, whoever they are. Though, some of them certainly look terrifying.

“Alice~! Good morning!”

The Hatter’s sing song voice rings out over all other noise, he’s back in costume, no signs of the shy young man she spoke to last night. Tsuneko avoids the men moving items, making her way to the costumed man.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Isn’t it wonderful? All my treasures are being returned~!”

“That’s fantastic, but how…?”

It had to be the penthouse guys, there’s no other explanation. But they didn’t seem to care about it yesterday. Did she manage to get through to Ichinomiya? That seems…unlikely, no, impossible. Tsuneko is stubborn and annoying, but even she’s not strong enough to get through Ichinomiya’s impenetrable wall of bullshit.

“I’m so happy, Alice~!”

“I’m glad, I know it’s been a rough couple days for you,” she murmurs, scratching at the back of her neck.

His expressions fall, like he suddenly remembers the fight. Perhaps he was caught up in the moment. He won’t meet her eyes, instead staring at a random spot on the ground like it’s the single most interesting thing in the world.

“I’m really sorry about the way I snapped at you, I said a lot of mean things and you didn’t deserve that…” Tsuneko murmurs, why are apologies so hard, “I know it doesn’t make it okay, but I was just in a shitty place, then you came in and started calling me ugly, and I just, I don’t know, got pissed.”

“Called you ugly? I would never.” He looks up at her like she’s just scalded him.

“What do you mean?”

“I said your tears are ugly, not you…I don’t like seeing you cry. Tears and pain are ugly things, so I want you to be happy, especially in Wonderland with me…”

A soft look comes over his face and guilt pangs in her chest, this whole thing was a misunderstanding. She snapped at him over nothing, Tsuneko has always been the type to go for the jugular, to cut people down at the slightest sign of cruelty. It’s not healthy, but she’s never managed to stop it.

“For someone who stresses the importance of words, you’re not the best communicator, huh?”

She flashes him a soft smile and hopes it gets everything across. That aching desire to just forget it all and move on like it never happened. Tsuneko fiddles with a lock of hair, waiting for his response.

“Maybe not, it seems I hurt you, I’m sorry, A-” His words dye in his throat and she can slowly see him acting more like the shy boy from last night.

“You can call me Alice; I didn’t mean that.” In all honesty the only thing she genuinely is hurt about in the long run is the being sold stuff, the Hatter’s complacency in that. But, unlike the penthouse guests, he didn’t buy her and isn’t holding her to the arrangement. So, if nothing else, he remains the lesser of evils and she’d rather keep their relationship civil.

“Really?” He smiles bright and some of the guilt that’s eaten its way into her chest fades away.

“Really. Now, I have to go get ready for my shift, but we’ll hang again soon, celebrate your stuff being returned, I promise.”

She touches his back for a moment in what she hopes is a reassuring gesture, before they say their byes. There’s a bit of time before her actual shift, but she wants to talk to the penthouse guys about what happened with the Hatter’s things. Tsuneko walks about the men, feeling a twinge at guilt at not offering help, before making her way up the stairs.

The elevator ride is spent fiddling with her phone, playing Monster Lovers, her crane game, and checking social media. Just finding idle things to pass the time through the long elevator ride, it seems to take forever given the sheer height of the hotel. She tries not to pout when she sees that Shinobu still hasn’t bothered to message her back.

She’s scrolling through Instagram with one hand and fiddling with the good luck charm in her pocket with the other when the elevator comes to a stop. Tsuneko tucks her phone away and heads to the lounge, seeing the group of men in their usual spots.

“You’re here early, Princess.” To the shock of no one, Baba is the first person to greet her.

“Yeah, I wanted to check on the Hatter, all his stuff was found?”

“Ugh, I heard enough about that freak last night,” Kisaki grumbles.

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black, now isn’t it?”

“Are you seriously comparing me to him?” Kisaki narrows his eyes and scoffs in disgust.

“Yeah, that’s not fair to the Hatter.”

“Sor and Mamo were working all night to get Maddie’s stuff back.”

“Really?”

“He’s being dramatic, as usual, it didn’t take that long,” Oh cuts in, not bothering to look at Tsuneko, “the slacker managed to get their plate number from security footage and with the information the Hatter wrote down we were able to get a name.”

“It still must have taken most of the night, I mean you probably didn’t even start looking into it until late.”

Smirks play across Oh, Baba, and Kisaki’s lips, like there’s something they know that she doesn’t. Dread pits in her stomach and she finds herself looking over at Ichinomiya, the only one who isn’t currently smirking like a wiseass, unless you count the sleeping Kishi. Instead of a smirk, Ichinomiya is scowling, and she can’t help remembering him covered in cupcake frosting.

“Boss told them to start looking right after we left the tea room,” Baba tells her and she clenches her jaw, he was having them help the Hatter the entire evening. If she had known that she never would have thrown her little tantrum, probably. Seems like lashing out when she didn’t have all the information was the theme of yesterday.

“He made sure to help your boyfriend as soon as possible,” Kisaki teases and she resists the urge to kick him.

“Fuck off,” she groans out instead, rolling her eyes before directing her attention to Ichinomiya, “so…. I guess I probably might owe you an apology for the cupcakes thing, huh?”

“That suit costs more than you make in a year.”

“Well, who’s fault is that, boss.”

He narrows his eyes at her, glare intense, while the rest of the men snicker. She meets his glare, this is mostly his fault anyway, he could have just said they were looking into it. If he had just told her, everything would have been fine, probably.

“Was that your attempt at an apology?”

“Yeah, but then you went and ruined it,” she crosses her arms over her chest and pouts, “besides, this isn’t all my fault.”

“Is that so?”

“Literally all you had to do was tell me you were having it taken care of.”

“I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

“Would have saved your suit, though.”

“Shouldn’t you be working?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going, asshole.”

She leaves them to snicker and cackle at Ichinomiya like hyenas. Tsuneko spends the elevator ride back down to the main floor reviewing photos she took of the auction item list, reviewing it for what feels like the thousandth time. Overall, she’s on cloud nine, compare to the past couple days. Her issues with the Hatter are resolved, as well as him getting his stuff back. She has a clearer idea of what she wants, how she’s going to move on from this whole ordeal if she gets the chance. With being asked to look after Anais today, she’s getting something resembling a promotion she’s actually earned. And, moreover, this is officially the seventh day of the bet.

By midnight tonight, she’ll be halfway through and if anything, she’s proven to Ichinomiya why she’s a detriment. She’s thrown cupcakes at him, for god’s sake. Tsuneko’s done nothing of value that’s unique to her. A part of her is just waiting for him to tell her she’s not worth the headache, just let her go, but he’s the stubborn type, sadly. But, she’s feeling good about her odds of winning in the moment. If nothing else, she’s in a significantly better headspace. For the first time in a long time, she feels like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Just the tiniest iota of hope.

The female locker room is empty when she arrives, and she goes through the routine of changing. Slowly a few other coworkers trickle in Chisato is the first of her two friends, the older maid gives Tsuneko a soft smile before speaking.

“You look like you’re in a better mood.”

“I am, thanks again for, uh, baby sitting my drunk ass. I promise it won’t happen again,” Tsuneko tells her, making a note to lock the door next time she drinks.

“It’s fine, you were pretty entertaining.” A smirk pulls at Chisato’s lips and heat crawls up Tsuneko’s face.

“Yeah, I uh, owe Sakiko an apology.” Tsuneko scratches at the back of her neck, she’s fucked up a lot in the last couple days.

“Speak of the devil.”

Sakiko enters the locker and fast walks to her locker, not stopping to make eye contact with either of the maids. Despite no one saying anything to her, a blush is already creeping up her cheeks.

“Hey…sorry about the whole, uh, drunk thing.” The blushing is contagious, her face feels like it’s on fire.

“Let’s not talk about that, it’s fine, let’s just move on.”

“I didn’t know you got like that when you drink,” Chisato says, not letting them move on.

“Everyone acts weird when they’re drunk, shut up.”

“What’s that saying, in wine there’s truth, maybe deep down you just really like making out with people.”

“Shut up!”

Tsuneko’s face flushes cherry red as she shoves Chisato, barely jostling the older maid. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, but Tsuneko thought it was just a fluke. Maybe, drunk Tsuneko is just a kissing machine. Chisato and Sakiko laugh at Tsuneko, making her face flush brighter.

“She’s so violent,” Sakiko teases.

“I’m not violent!” She yells violently swinging her fists at nothing in particular.

Once they’re all dressed and ready for their respective jobs, they leave the locker room, Chisato and Sakiko still laughing at Tsuneko’s expense. They drift into the lobby, a steady slow thrum of activity there. She needs to wait on the Renard family to drop off Anais and give Tsuneko her schedule.

“Hey! What’s the meaning of this!?” Erika screeches as she marches across the lobby towards them, stopping in front of Tsuneko with the twins behind her.

“What the meaning of this?”

“Good morning to you too.”

“What is this about you watching the Renard’s daughter?”

“I’m watching their daughter; you literally said all the things that need to be said about it.”

“They’re VIP’s, you have no right to be working with them.”

“No right!”

“I mean they specifically requested me, so…”

“What kind of stunts are you pulling for this to keep happening?!”

“I’m just doing my job, what’s up your ass?”

“First it’s the penthouse position and now you’re stealing VIP’s from me, that’s what’s ‘up my ass’,” Erika bitches and pulls out air quotes at the end.

“You’re the one who said I shouldn’t throw away opportunities, right?”

“I didn’t mean steal them from me!”

“It’s not my fault you scare children.”

“I do not scare children!”

“You screech like a demon and hang out with The Shining twins; no kid wants to deal with that.”

“What’s going on here?” Kuroba is the one to cut in, where Kenzaki is, Tsuneko’s not sure.

“I was just saying that with her new position, Tomori might be too busy to watch over the Renard family’s daughter.”

“I’m sure she’ll be able to handle it.” Kuroba flashes a soft smile at Erika and puts a hand on Tsuneko’s shoulder as a sign of solidarity.

“I can always take some of her rooms, if she needs it,” Chisato chimes in.

“Well, I’m happy to see it’s under control then.” Erika forces a smile before storming off, the twins scrambling to follow after her.

“Why is she always on your case, I swear to god,” Sakiko complains.

“Like, I know.”

“I know, but nobody listens to me.” That earns Chisato a glare from Tsuneko, is she still thinking Erika has some sort of crush? It’s ridiculous.

“You’re one of the few people who talk back to her,” Kuroba adds his two cents.

“And it makes her want to smooch you,” Chisato grumbles.

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry about it!” she pushes at Kuroba’s shoulder flustered that Chisato will push her inane ideas on him, “thanks for the help, we’ll talk later okay.”

Chisato and Sakiko find her frazzled goodbyes hilarious, because everyone loves mocking Tsuneko.

“Can you two chuckle fu-Ah!”

“Tsuneko!” A soft French accented voice rings out as Anais nearly topples her over with a hug, a blur of white blonde hair. She laughs and scoops the girl up, spinning her and making her giggle before putting her back down.

“How are you sweetie?”

Anais is adorable, around seven years old with bright blue eyes and white blonde hair pulled into a little ponytail. Tsuneko fights a pout when she realizes the child isn’t even a full foot shorter than her

“We’ll leave you to it,” Chisato calls out before her and Sakiko go on their way.

“Mommy and daddy took me to the Pompompurin café, look at what I got!”

She holds out a keychain that has a little plush of the yellow dog character. On their last stay at the hotel Anais fell in love with Tsuneko’s cute stationary, so she made sure to recommend the family visit the cute Sanrio themed restaurant.

“That’s so cute, so is Pompompurin your favorite?”

“Yes! I love him, my mommy even let me get the big sundae with his face.”

“That’s awesome, the desserts there are so good.”

“Anais was in heaven, thank you so much for recommending it,” a woman’s voice thanks Tsuneko and she looks up to see Esme and Julien, Anai’s parents.

Tsuneko doesn’t keep up much with the rich and famous, but Sakiko was determined to give her an unwanted crash course on the family last time. Julien is an older man, perhaps too old to have a seven-year-old daughter and a young wife, with graying hair in a simple conservative suit. He owns a publishing company, that’s pumped out a few bestsellers.

Esme is glitzier, long white blonde hair curling over her shoulders and makeup that brings out the blue of her eyes. She’s an actress and former model, who started her own modeling agency at the age of 30. As such the two are often traveling with their daughter, for scouting authors and models for their respective jobs as well as Esme’s acting.

“I’m glad she enjoyed it, I know a few other spots she might like, actually I think Puroland is having a show this weekend with special ticket deals,” she suggest the Sanrio themed amusement park, it has an array of restaurants and rides, along with parades and shows.

Anai’s eyes go wide and she looks at her parents in excitement, not asking, but her plea is clear.

“Can you write down the times and where it is for us? I’m sure we can manage a day off,” Julien offers and ruffles his daughter’s hair.

“No problem, I’ll make a note of it for you.”

“Thank you so much for watching her, I know it’s a lot to ask, we have a schedule for her. Just take her back our room when it’s time for her lessons and for meals, so we can all eat together, then her bedtime of course,” she explains as she hands Tsuneko a neat little schedule of when Anais needs to be back at their room.

Esme and Julien are busy, but they always ensure they can eat lunch and dinner with their daughter. Despite not always being able to spend much time with her and taking Anais all across the country, the couple does make a genuine effort to always spend at least some time with their daughter. Busy rich parents are something she’s seen time and time again since she’s started working at the Tres Spades. Many just leave their children at the hotel while they work, then spend the rest of the time in the casino neglecting their children in a new way. It’s refreshing to see parents who try to make that effort.

“That’s fantastic, since I need to clean the penthouse.” Tsuneko has no desire to bring the little girl anywhere near the penthouse or its residents.

“You’ve been promoted?” Julien raises an eyebrow, they’re well aware that she hasn’t been with the hotel long in the grand scheme of things.

“They must really want to keep you around here,” Esme beams.

“You have no idea.”

The couple gives Anais hugs and kisses, before asking her to behave then leaving for work. A soft pout pulls at the girl’s features as she watches her parents leave, even with them making an effort, she must still wish they could spend more time with her. Tsuneko gently pokes at Anais’s cheek, earning her a half-hearted glare.

“You’re gonna be my little helper today, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you have to smile,” Tsuneko points at her own soft smile, “it makes everyone else around you feel better and you’ll feel better too.”

Anais tries to smile wide, but because she’s trying t0o hard, it looks awkward. As if her cheeks are being unnaturally stretched, Tsuneko can help but laugh, making the girl pout again.

“Don’t laugh,” she whines as Tsuneko gets a small candy from her pocket.

“This might help you.”

The girl takes the little strawberry candy and eagerly pops it into her mouth, a genuine smile now stretched across her face.

“Much better, now let’s get to work.” Tsuneko types alarms into her phone for each time Anais needs to be returned to her parent’s room, before taking the girl with her to get a cleaning cart.

Anais steps on the edge of the cleaning cart, riding along as Tsuneko pushes it, giggling when she makes it move quicker. Since other than the penthouse, it’s the only room out of her way, Tsuneko takes them to the Renard’s VIP room to clean first. Anais is eager to help, even with the most mundane tasks, the Tres Spades doesn’t offer much for children, even cleaning is entertainment.

Tsuneko makes sure to do the more arduous or grosser tasks, such as cleaning the bathroom. She’s watching Anais, not traumatizing her. The Renard’s room isn’t bad by any stretch, but she knows once they get to normal guests’ room and later in the day, the rooms will get progressively more difficult.

They’re working in the third regular guests’ room when Tsuneko needs to leave a note, they’re out and she’s left a stack of brochures they’ve requested. She gets out a pad of bunny shaped notes and a pen, Anais’s eyes sparkle at the stationary and the sight makes Tsuneko smile.

“Anais, you can write in English, can’t you?”

“Yeah, I have neat handwriting too.”

“Great, can you just write out, ‘The brochures you requested, hope you find something that catches your eye’ on here?”

“Yeah,” Anais agrees and neatly writes the note, her handwriting clear and easy to understand. Tsuneko takes a moment to try to doodle little spades around the words.

“What are those?”

“They’re little spades, like the Tres Spades.”

“They look like deformed hearts.”

“Well, who asked you,” Tsuneko sputters, cheeks red.

“Why is the note in English?”

“English is the guest’s first language, so leaving notes in English and speaking to them in their native language helps them feel more at home while they stay here.”

“You can write and speak in English?”

Tsuneko works as Anais bounces around to follow her, filled with questions. She can’t help giggling at the young girl’s excitement.

“I’m good at writing in English and can speak it alright, thanks to school, I bet you know lots of languages, since you travel so much.”

“I know French, Japanese, English, Italian, Spanish, Russian, and I’m learning Mandarin.”

A cough sputters out of Tsuneko’s mouth and she can’t help blinking at the child, six languages and working on the seventh. She assumed her parent’s status could afford Anais a fantastic education despite the frequent travels, but that seems unreal. A seven year old is more accomplished than her, fuck.

“That’s impressive, I only know Japanese, English, and JSL.”

“JSL?”

“Japanese sign language, it’s talking with your hands, it’s used by people who can’t hear.”

“Oooh, that’s really cool.”

“Yeah, um, for example this means, my name is Tsuneko,” she recalls the old college course and signs an introduction, to the delight of Anais.

“Woah, I wanna learn!”

“Okay, you’re here for around a week, right?”

Anais nods her head, ponytail bobbing with the quick motion.

“Well, I’ll try to teach you some JSL, if you teach me some languages you know too, enough to greet guests and talk a bit to them.”

“Yeah, I can do that!”

“Sounds like a deal.”

Tsuneko has language books and sometimes tries to use google translate, but guests have told her it can be a little rough. They usually appreciate the effort, but Tsuneko has always wanted to learn more and doing it while she works with the Anais will save time.

Her phone goes off, the first alarm to return Anais back to the room for lessons and lunch. Anais has taught her some basic greetings in French and Italian, though her pronunciation is rough, meanwhile Tsuneko has taught her a few yubimoji signs. She takes Anais up to her parents’ room and gives a less than stellar goodbye in French.

Between lessons and her eating lunch, Tsuneko has around two or three hours before she needs to come back and get Anais. That should be enough time to clean up the penthouse and maybe grab something to eat, but she might have to eat late.

She spends the elevator ride up reciting what Anais taught her; she’d look crazy if anyone else was around. Tsuneko feels like she has the greeting understood and her pronunciation at least marginally better.

Walking into the lounge, Tsuneko knows she made the right decision not to drag poor Anais up here. Oh and Ichinomiya are gone this time around, but Kisaki, Baba, and Kishi have made an absolute mess. Poker chips and cards are strewn about, liquor bottles despite it not even being noon, and overflowing ashtrays. Baba and Kisaki are playing cards, while Kishi is sitting up on a couch, puffing on a cigarette. She considers it a miracle anytime she sees him and he’s not napping.

She pinches the bridge of her nose and resists the urge to groan, walking into the lounge feels like stepping into a chimney thanks to Kishi. Even with how large the room is, his presence seems downright noxious, like he sweats cigarette smoke.

“Hey, pretty lady.”

“You don’t need to talk to me every time I enter the room.”

“As if I could ever resist talking to a beautiful woman when I see one.”

“You see a beautiful woman somewhere, Kishi?”

“Just you two jackasses and a kid.”

“I’m gonna open the window and get some of the smoke smell out of here.”

“Might as well just ask Kishi to leave.”

“Hey, it’s not that bad.”

Tsuneko continues to ignore them and opens the large windows to the lounge, the ones that overlook the Tokyo Bay. The sun feels warm against her skin and there’s a gentle breeze coming through, the water seems to sparkle where the light hits it. It’s shame such a wonderful view can only be seen from such a shitty place.

She forces herself away from the window, no matter how much she wants to soak up the sun. Maybe if she gets a chance to get away, she should go to the beach. Relaxing and sunbathing sounds nice. Tsuneko instead gets to cleaning up the absolute mess the three men have made.

"You owe me for last night, kid," Kishi's raspy voice interrupts her.

"Excuse you?" She stops what she's doing to raise an eyebrow at him, the hell is he on about?

"I had to work all night to get your little boyfriend's crap back."

"Firstly, the next person who throws the boyfriend word around is getting strangled. Secondly, you're a cop, dealing with robberies is your job,” she grumbles, returning to cleaning as she talks.

"Robberies ain't my department, you owe me, brat."

"You did your job; you want a cookie?"

"I'll take lunch."

"You make more money than me!"

"I'm just a humble public servant," he tells her with a shit eating grin.

"Humble public servant, my ass."

"I gotta tell you Mamo, if this is how you try to get dates, I'm a little disappointed," Baba cuts in with an overdramatic look of disapproval.

Kishi chokes on his cigarette and sputters out a cloud of smoke. Tsuneko rolls her eyes, god these men are idiots.

"Don't be stupid, someone would have to be real desperate to date a kid like her."

"Ugh, between the Hatter and the old men, you really attract freaks, Koro.

"You say, still treating me like a dog."

"You know it would be so much easier if you just learned to behave."

"It would be so much easier if you lost the ability to talk."

"Then who would give you commands?"

Tsuneko rolls her eyes and bites her tongue, she’s cleaned up the majority of the mess, though she knows it will be a disaster when she returns in the evening.

“Do you want me to leave the window open or close it before I go?”

They give her the go ahead to leave it open, mostly because Kishi shows no sign of slowing down on the smoking. With that taken care of she ventures towards the suites. By the time she’s finished with them, thanks to Kishi’s suite mostly, she only has around half an hour before she needs to pick up Anais again.

She can grab a little lunchbox or something quick at a convenience store, it’s not much, but it’ll be food in her belly. The cafeteria is closer and has nicer food sure, but the line of employees makes it take longer.

Tsuneko ventures the quick walk from the Tres Spades to the nearest store, the same one Baba apparently works at part time. She scans the aisles and shelves; she’s looking over the freezer stuff when she sees something. Generally, convenience store food is pretty good, but among the refrigerator areas there’s a little boxed sushi lunch jammed back in a corner. Like, someone crammed it back in there and it’s been stuck.

Just a peek at it through the clear plastic lid, she can tell it’s gone bad. The sushi is discolored, and it just looks slimy, mushy. A smirk pulls at her lips and she pries the little meal out of its corner. She can practically smell it through the container. Kishi wanted lunch, right.

The cashier looks down oddly at it, the clearly bad sushi meal for Kishi, while she grabbed some hot skewers of karage and a bottle of juice for herself.

“Uh,” they stammer, “I can switch that out for a fresh one.”

“No, that’s fine.”

Another strange look before they just shrug and ring her up. Tsuneko eats her own food on the walk back, finishing the skewers and juice by the time she returns to the hotel. A double check of time lets her know she has time to run back up to the penthouse and drop off Kishi’s ‘lunch’.

By the time she’s gotten back up to the penthouse, a part of her is just eager to dump off the gross lunch. The smell of it is making her stomach churn just a little bit. Whoever crammed it back into that fridge, it was there for a while.

“You’re back already, princess?”

“You think we’re that messy?”

“You wanted lunch, right, Kishi?’ She’s grinning as she drops the nasty meal into the old man’s lap.

“How did you find something that smells worst than him?” Kisaki covers his nose with his head, but he’s cracking up.

“Shut it,” Kishi grumbles out as he inspects the meal, she expects him to turn his nose up at it, call her a brat or something, but he opens it instead.

“Oh god.” Tsuneko dry heaves at the smell coming from the sushi meal, just the ungodly stench of rotted fish. She shuffles closer to the open window, hoping the breeze will blow away some of the stench.

“Where did you even find that, princess?”

“It was just jammed back in some corner of the shelves, like someone hid it.”

Baba and Kisaki are faring about as well as she is, but Kishi doesn’t seem remotely bothered. He unwraps the chopsticks that come with the meal, he’s not seriously going to eat it, is he?

“Eh,” he shrugs, “I’ve had worse.”

“Don’t be-Oh god!”

There’s a crunch from the rice, the nasty hardened rice, as Kishi bites down on a piece of sushi. She can’t imagine how disgusting that must taste, hard rice and slimy rotted fish. Tsuneko nearly pukes up what little lunch she had, as Kishi just swallows it, going for another piece.

“That’s disgusting,” Kisaki comments, but he’s laughing, mostly at Tsuneko’s reaction.

“How can you eat that?!” She manages to ask through gags.

“What else would I do with it?” Kishi says with a mouthful of rotten sushi, the smell wafting out of his mouth could peel paint, Tsuneko nearly vomits.

“Tell me to fuck off and throw it out, like a normal person!”

“He literally eats out of the trash.”

“Why would you do that!?”

“Food is food.” He shrugs his shoulders.

“I think the cigarettes killed your taste buds, Mamo.”

“My taste buds are fine,” Kishi starts to shove another piece in his mouth and Tsuneko snatches the meal from his hands, “hey, I was eating that!”

“The hell you are, I’m not cleaning up puke.” She tosses it in the trash, wiping her hands off on her uniform apron.

“If anyone here is about to blow chunks, it’s you.” Kishi starts to reach over for the trash, then his hand stop, he can’t reach.

“The only thing stopping you from eating that out of the trash right now is the fact you’d have to move, isn’t it?”

“Shut up,” he grumbles as Kisaki and Baba start snickering, lighting up a cigarette.

“So, what did you get us?” The youngest of the three men suddenly asks Tsuneko.

“Nothing…”

“It’s not fair to only get him a gift, especially since we’re right here.” Kisaki sticks his tongue out, playful and annoying.

“You wanted bad sushi too?”

“I mean, I’d cherish any gift you gave me, but that meal was a little much.” Baba grimaces.

“Uhh,” she rummages around in her pockets, getting a handful of candies she keeps for kids and throws it at the two of them, “you can have those.”

Kisaki glares as a butterscotch bounces off his forehead, but Baba catches some candies in his hand and gives her a bright smile.

“Sweets from my sweetie, I’ll treasure them forever.”

“I’m gonna be sick again.”

“Ugh, old men trying to act like kids is just nasty.”

“You’re so cruel, Ota, I’m not that old.”

“Oldest man here.”

“Huh?” Tsuneko tilts her head to the side, there’s no way, she glances over at Kishi, yeah, Baba can’t be older than him. Kishi’s hair has already gone gray for god’s sake.

“Baba’s the oldest out of us,” Kisaki tells her, smirking. She gives another aggressive side-eye to Kishi.

“Yeah, right. I’m not that gullible.” She rolls her eyes; he has to be fucking with her. Kisaki and Baba immediately start cracking up.

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Kishi grumbles glaring at her. Her phone alarm buzzes to life, giving her ten minutes to go get Anais.

“Welp, time for me to head out.”

For the second time of the day, she’s leaving them to laugh as she scurries back to work. It’s odd, the light feeling she has these past two visits, no pit of dread in her stomach. Teasing them and joking around with them isn’t awful. At the very least they haven’t seen quite as mean spirited lately. She shakes her head at the odd thought and finds her way to Anais’s room.

Her shift passes by quickly with Anais playing her sidekick. When guests stop Tsuneko with questions they coo over the small girl. With every room, the two teach each other more of languages. She hates to admit it, but the Anais is teaching her more than vice versa. But as long as the work is getting done and their time is beneficial for both of them, Tsuneko will consider it a win. Before she knows it her phone alarm is going off again, time for her to return Anais for evening lessons, dinner, and bedtime. The end of their day together.

Tsuneko leads Anais to the room by the hand, her tutor and parents are already there to answer the door. The little girl excitedly runs to hug her mom, the sight of it brings a smile to Tsuneko's face.

"Mommy, Daddy, look what Tsuneko taught me," Anais babbles excitedly before signing her name in JSL, "I just said my name!"

"What's that now?" Esme asks with an arched brow.

"Japanese sign language, I figured she'd be bored if all she did was watch me clean all day, hope you don't mind," Tsuneko explains.

"Oh, that's wonderful." Esme flashes a brilliant smile and Julien gives a softer one in kind.

"I also wrote down the information for the Puroland event." She hands down the written note to the pair.

"Oh, Thank you so much. For everything."

"It's no problem at all. Have a lovely evening."

They say their goodbyes and Tsuneko excuses herself to return to work. She has to go clean the penthouse again, then maybe she'll drop by Wonderland and have a celebratory tea party with the Hatter after she clocks out.

Everyone is there when she returns to the lounge. Ichinomiya working on a laptop. Oh is reading a book, look like one of the detective novels he seems fond of. Kishi looking over a newspaper, while Baba and Kisaki are still playing with cards. No one greets her this time, seemingly focused on what they're doing.

Ichinomiya always has the same request when he sees her, so she makes a beeline for the espresso machine. She makes his coffee and remembering the drinks the others have requested before, she decides to make those as well. Plain black tea for Oh, black coffee for Kishi, rose tea for Baba, and coffee with just a bit of sugar and cream for Kisaki. She arranges their drinks on a tray and brings it out.

"Coff-," Ichinomiya starts then pauses when he sees Tsuneko placing his drink down in front of him.

"Aww you're already know my favorite drink, thanks pretty lady."

"I'm just fortunate enough not to have the attention span of a goldfish.”

There’s still a soft breeze coming in from the open window, cooler now as the evening comes in. The temperature of the room hasn’t dropped significantly, but it’s much cooler and if the window is left open for much longer there will be a definite chill. And she’s sure Ichinomiya will be bitching about it before she knows it.

“Can you close the-” Ichinomiya’s words stall at the click of the window being shut.

“Maybe, she’s finally learning her place,” Oh comments, a cruel little smirk drawing across his face.

“Fuck off,” she grumbles as she starts to clean the mess that’s built up since the last time she was here.

She cleans up the mess of cigarette butts, trash they’ve tossed aside haphazardly, and general mess. Tsuneko has started dusting when she hears the peanut gallery start whispering, gazes on her, but she can’t make out the words. Her head whips around so fast, she nearly gets whiplash. She doesn’t trust these men as far as she could throw them.

“What are you doing?” She narrows her eyes at Baba and Kisaki who’re snickering like the bozos they are. All of the men giving shit eating grins. Smug bastards.

“Bettin’ on if your top’s gonna bust open,” Kishi answers, but he’s no less guilty than the others she’s sure.

“Well, jokes on you, I got a new uniform, so.” She sticks her tongue out at them.

“Shameful.” Oh shakes his head, she’s not sure if he means her or the men betting on if they’ll get a peek at her bra. Kisaki and Baba groan, digging yen from their wallets to hand over to Ichinomiya.

“That’s not even fair, boss.”

“He probably already knew she got a new uniform.”

“As if I could let an employee walk around like that.”

“You ordered me a new uniform,” she raises an eyebrow, “I figured Kenzaki was sick of my shit.”

“It shouldn’t be on other people to make sure you’re dressed for your job,” Oh comments, not bothering to even look at her, she hates that he’s not wrong.

“I’m gonna go clean the suites,” she murmurs and starts to head out of the room.

“Wouldn’t you be better off cleaning, boss’s suite first?” Baba asks, the questioning look on his face and the lilt of his voice tells her he’s being genuine and not trying to micromanage. She can see where he’s coming from, Ichinomiya’s room is only accessible through the lounge, since it’s on the highest possible floor.

“No, Kishi’s is the biggest mess, so I have to clean it first or it’ll never get done.”

“I bet his room is disgusting.”

“It is.”

“Hey, I ain’t that bad!” Kishi blusters to defend himself.

“Poor grandpa can’t even clean up after himself.”

“Why is everyone on my ass today?!”

“It’s national pick on the elderly day, you didn’t know?” Tsuneko can’t help grinning as she teases.

“I’m not that old!”

“Be careful, I don’t think getting upset is good for you at this age,” Baba joins in on the teasing.

“You’re older than me!”

“Bullshit.”

“What do you know, ya damn brat.”

“I know lying about your age is just plain sad.”

“Don’t you have something to clean?”

“I’m going, I’m going.”

Tsuneko waves him off before heading to the suites. It's odd thinking of how much she's learned about those men in such a short amount of time, given the situation. Cleaning people's rooms tends to do that to a degree, seeing what everyone keeps in their living quarters, how they take care of themselves. Obviously, she doesn't know the finer details of their lives and who they are, she doesn't want to know. But, having any sense of familiarity with the men who bought her...It's odd. It doesn't seem right.

They're ruining her life; she wants to keep a distance. But, inane little details about each of them keep sticking in her mind. It's impossible to avoid, it seems.

How can she not know Kishi's favorite brand of cigarette when she's the one who throws away all the cartons?

Or that apparently Oh likes detective novels, when she's the one who's tucking away the dog-eared books when he leaves them out in his suite?

There's tarot cards and astrology books in Baba's room, so she knows he likes that kind of supernatural occult stuff, also from cleaning his closet that his signature red suit is far from his most garish one.

Kisaki's brassy strawberry blonde hair is thanks to bleach she's seen the boxes of in his bathroom, he could afford a salon, but must prefer doing it on his own.

Ichinomiya is picky with temperatures, as he is with most things. The thermostats in his bedroom, living room, office, and even limousine are all set to the same exact temperature.

There are so many little things she's learned about them, it's taken her almost a year to learn as much about Sakiko and Chisato, the closest she has to real friends. Yet, he's learned these things about the auction managers in a week. A hazard of the job, she tells herself as she finishes up the last of her work.

She's clocked out and in her casual clothes when she heads down to Wonderland, making good on her promise to see the Hatter again soon.

“Alice!~” He greets her, loud and vibrant as soon as she walks in. She can’t help but notice the stark contrast between the booming voice of the Hatter and the soft murmur he used out of costume.

“Hey, Mads, want me to make some tea?”

“Yes, that’d be wonderful!”

She busies herself in the kitchen area, making his favorite Assam tea with milk. Her thoughts constantly drifting back to last night when she saw him out of costume.

She resolved to meet him where he’s at.

She said she wouldn’t get involved.

But, fuck, she wants to know more.

“So, about last night-” She starts as she’s pouring him a cup of tea.

“Alice!” He jolts in his seat and nearly knocks the table over, Tsuneko flusters to avoid spilling tea everywhere, “I’ve forgotten something very important!”

He’s out of his seat, vivid blue eyes wide and frantic, her heart sinks. It’s his choice, but it’s clear, he’s avoiding the subject. He doesn’t trust her, probably doesn’t have a reason too, especially after her tirade. She shouldn’t pry and she even swore she wouldn’t get involved, but her curiosity, or nosiness, has a way of getting the best of her.

“You need to try on your costume, Alice!” He grabs her the second she sets the tea pot down and drags her towards his bedroom.

“Huh?”

“It won’t be long now before the auction; we have to make sure it fits properly!”

She’s pulled into his bedroom, all his odd little treasures now returned to where they once were. Her attention is drawn to the clothes on his bed, a frilly baby blue Lolita style dress with a variety of accessories along with it.

“Ah…”

She doesn’t like this… Tsuneko is a twenty-two-year-old grown woman, she can’t pull off that kind of thing. As much as she loves cute things, more extremely adorable stuff is reserved for wearing alone in the privacy of her dorm. She wouldn’t dream of parading around in something like that around other people, no one would ever take her seriously again.

“It just arrived earlier today, I’m sure it will look wonderful, try it on ~!”

The door shuts behind him as he gives her some privacy, she sighs, running her fingers over the material. It’s soft and obviously high quality. She toes off her sneakers and socks, it’s not as exposing as the bathrooms in the penthouse suites with the huge windows, but it still feel odd stripping in someone else’s room.

She runs her fingers along the soft navy fabric of his bed spread. The Hatter, when he’s in costume, there’s always the scent of heavy makeup powder. But the smell is notably absent in his room, it was absent when she saw him out of costume. The scent coming off of his skin more reminiscent of cinnamon cookies, his room has that kind of smell mingled with the must of old artifacts, like one would smell in an antique shop. It suits the collection of random old stuff, but also shows he spends most of his time in this room out of costume. The presence of that soft-spoken boy with dainty features can be felt, even with him being away.

Tsuneko starts to undo the fastens of her short overalls, stepping out of them. Her oversized tee shirt joins the pile, her nerves alight at being in nothing but her underwear. Every little creak or noise of the room makes her scared the door is about to swing open. She knows the Hatter would never peep on her, but it doesn’t stop her anxiety.

The pair of white stockings catch her eye first, pure solid white and soft in her hands. She carefully pulls them up, terrifying of catching the delicate fabric and ruining them. They’re tight, but not uncomfortable, as she pulls them up the thick of her thighs and the plush of her ass. There’s a full-length mirror in the Hatter’s room and she sighs at the sight of her black strawberry printed underwear showing through the white fabric. Not that it truly matters, but she dislikes the visual and makes a mental note to wear white ones the day of the auction.

Tsuneko appreciates the soft baby blue of the dress, the white lace across the collar and at the bottom of the short-puffed sleeves. It takes her a moment to find the opening through the layers of blue and white frills, petticoats giving the costume a full fluffy look. She brings it over her head, it’s on the heavy side with the full skirt. It falls just above her knees and she struggles to pull up the zipper on the back. Not because it doesn’t fit, but because it’s hard to reach.

Once she thinks it’s done up, she turns to the accessors laid out before her. A white lacey apron that goes over the dress, she ties it securely around her waist. There’s a pair of little wristlets, Baby blue with a bit of white lace, a little silk white ribbon, and tiny twinkling star charms. All that’s left are shoes, black glossy platform Lolita shoes with bows on the toe. And two black ribbons, one longer than the other. She decides to contend with the shoes, sliding them on and fastening the little buckles.

She frowns at herself in the mirror, feeling simultaneously like a little girl playing dress up and an old woman trying to look like a little girl. A part of her is humiliated that anyone will see her in this, the other part is mad at herself for not hating the dress. It’s cute. She loves cute, everything she owns is cute. But she doesn’t want to be cute, because the things that come with being cute suck, because the world sucks.

“Are you finished in there, Alice?” The Hatter’s cheerful voice cuts off her internal rant about being cute.

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

The door swings open and the Hatter strides into the room, eyes stopping on her. He pauses for a moment and her face flushes at the attention.

“It looks just as beautiful as I thought it would, absolutely gorgeous, but,” he pauses and seems to think for a moment, like he’s picking his words carefully, “it’s missing something.”

“I wasn’t sure what the ribbons were for,” she admits, pointing to them.

“Ah.”

He nods in understands and gracefully swoops up the ribbons in his gloved hands, then his steps halt for another moment, his gaze on her back.

“It’s not fully zipped, Alice,” he says suddenly close to her back, breath tickling her ear, as he zips it up the final inch. Then his hands are in her hair, gloves brushing the nape of her neck as he undoes her ponytail.

His touch leaves her for a moment, then he’s in front of her again, in her space. He brings one of silky black ribbons around and under the collar of the dress, tying it into a little bow just at the collar. The Hatter takes the other ribbon and moves it to between her hair and the back of her neck, back behind her ears as he ties it at the top of her head. He adjusts and plays with her hair, she focuses her eyes at a spot on the ground, the direct eye contact is too much. Then he’s cupping her cheeks and forcing her to meet his gaze.

“Absolutely perfect, take a look at yourself.” His smile is radiant, and she feels her face warm when he drops his hands.

She takes a look in the mirror. The ribbon in her hair is tied to look almost like bunny ears on top of her head. The way he’s done her hair is cute, the ribbon keeping her sidelocks and everything back out of her face, her bangs left alone.

It’s all adorable and cute. She’s cute and adorable, and no one will ever take her seriously in her life, especially not after seeing her in this. And she hates that but does genuinely love how cute it is. A confusing tug of war to be sure, but if her biggest dilemma of the day is struggling with being cute and easily patronized, she’ll consider it a win.

“Of course, during the auction you’ll need a mask or face paint, but-“

“Here comes the sun, doo doo doo~ Here comes the sun, and I say~”

The Beatles song buzzes from her clothes on the floor, cutting off the Hatter. Tsuneko freezes, the custom ringtone for her dad. Her earlier thoughts of wanting to see and talk to her dad come to mind. She’s been ignoring his calls for so long and she doesn’t want that anymore.

“Sorry, I need to answer that, I’ll be right back.” Tsuneko rushes to get her phone from her pocket and scrambles to answer her dad as she leaves Wonderland. The oversized chunky heels nearly send her plummeting a few times as she presses the phone to her ear.

“Uh, Chipmunk?” Her dad’s loud clear voice, saying that nickname is the cherry on top of what’s been a surprisingly good day. She sits down on the stairs that lead from Wonderland to the rest of the Tres Spades, taking in the moment before she speaks.

“Hey, dad, sorry about that. I had to get away to talk.”

“No problem, I’m more surprised you answered. I was startin’ to think you forgot all about little old me.”

She laughs, her dad’s voice is like pure nostalgia and sunshine. The only thing she wants is to hug him right now. Come clean about everything and just have her dad. But she can’t do that, not yet. She can’t tell him she’s been lying over the phone; her dad deserves better. Not to mention, she still doesn’t know what’s going to happen after this next week.

“Like I could ever forget you.”

“I’m still not use to you talking like you’re from Tokyo,” he teases the change she makes in her dialect, using different Japanese pronouns.

“Sorry, I’ll cut the shit,” she grins as she switches, the Kyushu dialect much more comfortable on her tongue.

“How has everything been, you must have been real busy the past year or so, couldn’t even spare a conversation for your dad.”

“Ah, I’m sorry, I just had classes and, uh, I got a new internship.” This is why she’s been avoiding taking his calls, lying to him is so much harder when she has to say the words and hear his voice. She hates being dishonest as a whole, but she can lie to anyone else in the world without batting an eyelash. Her dad is an entirely different story, every lie makes her heart constrict.

“It’s fine, I swear, you’ve apologized more in the last five minutes than you did your entire childhood.”

“I just feel bad, okay. I know I’ve been MIA on you, but I promise I’m okay. I’m still working hard, still love my dumbass dad.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less of my chipmunk, I’ve been thinking of sending you another care package, help keep your energy up.”

“Actually, if that’s the case, my address has changed,” the idea of a care package from her dad sounds so nice right now, “my internship is actually with the legal department of the Tres Spades, y’know that giant hotel, so I’m staying at their employee dorms right now to save money.”

That sounds kind of believable, she thinks. She hopes.

“Ah, that’s sound wonderful, if you can get a job there, you’d be set for life, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s a really great place to work.”

“Do you know when you’ll be graduating yet? I wanna make sure I don’t miss it.”

“Uh,” she stutters, “I’m not quite sure yet, but it’s still a while off, so don’t stress.”

“You’re not keeping me away, so I don’t embarrass you, are ya?”

Her heart sinks, that he could even think that.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, you’re the least embarrassing thing in my life, I promise.”

“Ah, shit, look at the time. I gotta get some sleep, and I’m sure you have work to do. I’ll get out of your hair for now. Love you, be safe.”

“I’ll try, love you, bye.”

She lets out a soft sigh as she hands up. It’s just past midnight. The first week of the bet is officially over, one more week. She can do this. If she can get a few more days like this, she knows she can charge through it all. Tsuneko lays back out against the stairs, feeling them dig uncomfortably into her back. The hum of the ballroom floor overhead is dulled but drifting down the staircase, below her the Hatter and Wonderland are waiting for her. She spends a moment in the in-between, appreciating the peace she finds there.

#kissed by the baddest bidder #kbtbb #mamoru kishi #Mitsunari Baba #eisuke ichinomiya #rhion hatter #soryu oh #kbtbb baba #kbtbb mamoru #kbtbb ota #kbtbb eisuke #kbtbb rhion #kbtbb soryu #black market wonderland #tsuneko tomori #Ota Kisaki

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medeafive · 4 years

Text

Blood and Stone -05

Masterpost

"I know it sounds weird," she remarks. "But it almost seemed like he felt bad about it."

Fury sits there, watching her with one eye, not moving, not reacting. "It's weird because that's just what vampires do, bite others," she explains. "But still. And not in a suave acting way, kinda clumsy actually. He seemed really uncomfortable."

"Okay." Fury takes out a cigarette. "But most of all, we have more time, right?"

She nods. "I don't know how long, though. Or what to do with that time."

"There's only two options." He leans back. "Either you get him to our side or you kill him. That easy. And it's going to be your call."

"Our side?" she questions. "He's still a vampire. What's he supposed to do on our side?"

"Lie about us to Schmidt so we can continue undisturbed," Fury suggests. "Help us take out the Castle. You know what, Schmidt is probably going to come after us one way or the other, so we could really use that. We're still probably all going to die but might be worth it, if we can get enough of them."

"That's crazy," she points out as someone knocks on the door.

"Living in a world with these creatures is crazy," Fury returns. "Yes?"

"Hi everyone," Tony remarks, ripping the door open. "Just letting you know Brucey and I have a tentative theory that might potentially maybe work. That's all. Thought you'd want to know."

"Theory about what?" Natasha questions.

"About how to turn a vampire back into a human," Tony replies self-evidently. "Don't you know that? Oh, right, you never attend dinner."

"And how do you test your wobbly good-for-nothing theory?" Fury probes.

"Oh yeah, we need vampire blood," Tony adds. "That would be great. Uncontaminated by silver, otherwise it's worthless."

"How are we supposed to get you clean vampire blood?" Natasha asks back. "Really. Am I supposed to ask him for a blood donation?"

"You'll figure something out, Romanoff," Tony replies confidently and pulls the door. "Okay, that's it. Bye."

The door slams shut. Fury rolls his eye. "I swear to God, if he weren't so brilliant…"

"Your black cloak- we really should give him a name," Tony says. "Steve. Let's call him Steve."

"Steve?!" Pepper repeats in horror. "Why Steve? Let's call him Mister Rosenkranz, like my horrible biology teacher. No offence, Bruce."

"Dracula," Clint suggests sourly.

"I see you're all taking this very seriously," Natasha remarks.

"Nosferatu," Sam adds. "Or Varney."

"Wilson, that sounds utterly ridiculous," Tony remarks. "Even worse than Steve."

"You don't know Varney the Vampire?" Sam questions. "Man, you're really lacking in Victorian era gothic horror stories."

"He didn't give you a name?" Bruce asks.

Natasha snorts, filling her bowl with soup again. "I don't think he knows his name."

"Come on," Sam remarks. "Don't make me feel bad for him."

"The Winter Soldier," Pepper suggests. "Because he looks like he froze to death. And because Natasha believes he was actually an American POW."

A moment of silence. "Pep, my dear cupcake," Tony says. "You always have the best ideas."

Pepper snorts. "It's easy to do better than Steve ."

"But he's out of town, right?" Clint asks. "As far as we know."

"Didn't say when exactly he was going, but yeah, around now," Natasha confirms. "Made me promise to stay safe, too. Sound familiar?"

"Oh my God!" Tony exclaims. "Nope. I don't wanna hear that gross weird super creepy monster flirting."

"Look, she's of no use to him when she's dead," Sam argues. "Or to anyone, for that matter. I think you're reading too much into that."

"Right before that, he admitted he's at fault for everything going to shit," Natasha adds. "Just something to keep in mind."

"We shouldn't forget about Schmidt," Fury reminds her. "But yes."

She goes on two more patrols with Pepper where nothing happens, really. They don't cross the river again. Not to placate anyone, just because they don't feel like experiencing that again. Doesn't do much good either. The castle guards kill undesired vampire fledglings in their territory, too.

The new recruit arrives some day. Natasha misses her at first. Pepper takes her out to familiarize herself with the city. Natasha is kinda disappointed she missed them, but there will be another opportunity. Learning the city takes a few weeks.

When she hears their chittering, returning just before the sun goes down, she realizes she has been just sitting there waiting for them. As if she has nothing better to do. But she has nothing better to do. She jumps up to appear busy somehow, something in the kitchen, open a cupboard- "Oh, there she is," Pepper's friendly voice says. "Natasha Romanoff. She's a tracker as well."

A blonde woman emerges, pretty but quite unremarkable. Natasha turns as if surprised. "Oh, hey. I'm Sharon. So you're the one from Russia."

Natasha extends a hand awkwardly. "And you're from Munich."

"Britain, actually, family-wise," Sharon specifies. "But they needed a tracker in Munich, so I spent some time there. And now I'm needed here, it seems."

It occurs to her that this might be her replacement, should the thing with the black cloak go wrong. Does Fury actually trust her? "I think we can use anyone," Pepper replies. "As I told you, the Castle alone is at least 30 plus some hunting parties. And the black cloak."

"Oh, right." Sharon leans on the kitchen counter, watching Natasha rummage awkwardly through the cutlery drawer. "Fury told me. So you really talked to him."

Natasha snorts loudly. "Guy's an asshole."

"Huh," Sharon remarks. "That sounds remarkably human."

Oh great, that one too. "Monsters can be assholes, too. Don't discriminate."

Sharon laughs. "Okay, okay. Well, it's very intriguing anyway. I guess we could learn a lot from that."

"Or we could all die," Natasha suggests sourly, inwardly beating herself up because she can't just have a nice normal conversation.

"We're going to work it out," Pepper says. "Anyway, I guess we should check whether you have everything in your room."

"Yeah, good idea," Sharon agrees, pushing up. "See you, Natasha. Nice to meet you."

She waits in an abandoned club where from 1990 on, they played rock music until the vampires came. The posters are still on the wall, though the red leather is ripped and torn. It's windowless for the most part, but the vampire still finds her.

She has brought a beer, just because. "Do I really smell that strongly?"

He shrugs, sitting down across from her. "I'm used to looking for you. Anything special about this place, for you?"

"I wasn't even in this city before the virus," she reminds him. "No. But it seems you don't want to talk to me when other people are around, so I figured here was safe."

"I don't want them shooting at me," he replies.

"No, I told them," she explains. "They're not excited but I don't think they'd try to kill you upfront."

He scoffs. "Yeah, sure. And they totally believe you, right?"

She bares her teeth, forcing him to do the same. "Can you blame them? So, you got more time?"

"Yeah," he confirms, looking around with interest. "Two moons. But he doesn't want to wait more than that."

That's actually a lot. "Did it hurt asking?"

"No," he replies. "You just have to agree in the next two months."

"No intention of doing that," she replies.

"No, it's really only two months," he repeats. "Then it's you or your friends again. You're not getting out of that."

She bares her teeth again. "You won't kill my friends."

"Yes, I will," he returns.

"No, you won't," she returns. "I won't agree and you won't kill them. That's just how it is."

He leans back, studying her. "Did that hurt?" she asks.

"No," he replies. "I guess- I don't know."

"So you lied to him that I was maybe still going to decide," she remarks. "And now you're thinking about disobeying his direct order, and none of that does anything to you."

"It's not comfortable," he admits. "But… yeah, I guess. I can't say I really believed… man, you are stubborn."

"Ain't seen nothing yet," she comments. "Beer?"

"No, thanks," he replies. "Alcohol tastes weird to me."

"But you do drink," she points out. "Only blood? What about food?"

"Is this an interrogation?" he asks. "Drinking yes, though only blood and water, but no eating."

"So the output of your body is only liquid, not solid," she remarks. "Right?"

He looks amused. "If you wanna know that exactly… yeah, I piss, but I don't take shits. Though I don't see why you care."

"Just curious," she replies. "What about breathing? You do breathe."

"I need air to talk," he explains. "Without talking, I breathe less frequently, maybe two or three times an hour, never really measured. But I still need air."

"So I could drown a vampire," she suggests. "Or smother him."

He snorts. "If you smother him for half an hour, yeah, I guess."

"You know what, let's try that," she replies, pulling out a watch. "You hold your breath, I stop the time."

"But then I can't talk," he reminds her. "You really want us to sit around quietly for a solid twenty to thirty minutes?"

"Yes," she repeats.

He rolls his white eyes. "Fine. Say when."

She looks at the clock. "Okay. Just a little- now."

All scientific curiosity aside, this turns out to be a bad idea as soon as she looks up. He's staring at her. She can look at the watch briefly, she can look around briefly, but mostly, she really can just stare back, and that's awkward as hell.

From close up, he looks a lot more human. She can see the grey in his white eyes that might once have been blue or green. His skin looks less solid white, more shades, she can see veins and blood shining through his cheeks. Somehow, he has more of an expression up close. She clears her throat and checks the watch. Oh, great, that's barely a minute.

She can see that he was handsome once, chiseled jaw, cheekbones, the soft curve of his lips that is now distorted by the fangs. She really wonders who he was. Before. There's a vulnerability there, too, in how his eyes occasionally flit down and away but always return. Her lips open but she has nothing to say. Man. She takes the beer and jugs some.

He's watching her, she's watching him. She checks the watch again. His eyes must have been pretty, too. Maybe he was a real heartthrob, before the war. Before they made him this. She feels anger.

Three minutes. Another sip of beer. She's actually not particularly fond of beer, of the taste. With vodka, you can disinfect pretty solidly, just alcohol, no frill, but beer has none of that. She opens her mouth to tell him but having a one-sided conversation again would only make it more awkward. After she told him her life story last time. So she stares at him again.

She's beginning to like his face. Sometimes, he looks annoying, arrogant, cold but not right now, quite the opposite. Now he looks like a person, with flaws, vulnerabilities, all of that. With personality. She could climb deeper and deeper into that. Her hand comes up to place a fingertip on his cheek, cool, like a stone, but-

His facial expression turns to amused but she's in too deep already, putting another finger on his cheek, really, it feels cold and hard at first but once she keeps it there for a second, his skin grows warmer to her touch, more and more, until she can't tell the difference anymore. She presses her palm to his cheek, cupping it, but that's really too much, so she sorta half draws back. "Just- just wanted to know what it felt like." Which would be more believable if she would take all of her fingers away but she doesn't want to, feels like she has to rip them away, rubs them with the other hand. They don't feel colder than before, and she's hot all over. "Feels- feels cold. But warms to the- to the touch, I guess."

He still looks smug but she can also see the open vulnerability in his eyes now. "Weird," she feels obliged to add, a little more distance between them in every sense, and his eyes startle slightly.

She rubs her hand still, picking up the bottle of beer again. Man. She's hot. "Come on," he says. "I wanna know what your skin feels like, too."

This is so godforsakenly awkward. She startles slightly when his cold fingers touch her hand, then her cheek, but again, they warm up very quickly to her temperature, which is way too high. He looks intrigued, leaning towards her, fingertips trailing over her cheek. "When was the last time you touched a human?" she breathes.

He frowns, fingers still working on her cheek. "Those twelve people I turned, I guess. Your skin is so warm, it feels like I'm welded to it, like I can't remove-"

"Careful," she interrupts, because she remembers he has claws.

He pulls the fingers back briefly but goes right back to work, whole palm cupping her cheek. She sighs involuntarily at the coldness that is gone almost immediately. His body reacts to hers. "Boy," he mutters with his beautiful mouth. "You smell good."

That should ring the alarm bells but it doesn't, she's stuck in his eyes, his hand, his face, even his voice. He strokes her cheek, his fingers feeling softer now, indistinguishable from a human hand. She can stare at him while his pretty eyes watch her cheek. She licks her lips unconsciously. His nostrils flare.

His elbow knocks against the beer bottle and she's too slow, they both startle when it shatters to pieces on the floor, shards of glass and liquid splattering around. It stinks immediately. She stares down, trying to get out of the trance. No glass stuck in her leg. No blood. Good. Her left cheek still burns.

"Oh sorry," his voice says. "Think I cut you."

She touches her cheek, dazed, looks at her fingers. Oh. Blood. Wait. Fuck. Blood. She scrambles for something to cover, tissue, band aid, she can't run around smelling like this- "Don't worry," he says, licking over his claw. "Mhm. You still taste of vampire blood."

She presses a tissue to the scratch on her cheek. It's really just a little bit of blood. A little bit of blood is enough to get you killed, though. "So that doesn't affect you either. The smell of blood."

"No, it does," he replies. "But I'm not hungry. Don't worry, I'm not going to jump you."

"Did you kill someone?" she asks. "Recently?"

"I drank from someone," he explains. "But I didn't kill him. I don't have to suck them dry."

"So you're just running around like a giant mosquito," she remarks.

He snorts. "If you wanna call it that. I should get you home though, not safe running around alone with a cut."

"I need vampire blood," she interrupts, pulling out a vial. "Couldn't get by any over the last weeks."

He looks at the glass vial critically. "You know you shouldn't do that. No one knows what the side effects are."

"You don't tell me what to do," she returns, uncorking the vial. "Come on. Just a little."

He sighs, pressing a sharp claw into one finger, holding it over the vial, dark blood dripping down. "You're really reckless."

"Yeah, I get that a lot," she remarks, checking the tissue. Not bleeding much anymore. "Do I still smell that good?"

"Wasn't talking about your blood," he replies, squeezing the digit so more blood drips down. "You give off other smells, too. Sweat and all that. Right now, I mostly smell the bloody tissue."

"My sweat smells good?" she questions.

"Your smell changes all the time," he explains. "Based on how you feel. It's the skin and the sweat and the blood and- it's complex, I don't really know how to describe it."

"So you can read my thoughts," she states.

He snorts, squeezing the finger again. "Definitely can't read your thoughts. It's really not psychic. You can tell how people feel based on how they look, I can tell based on how they smell. Scared. Most of the time, they're scared. Fear smells pretty strongly."

"That's enough, thanks," she says, corking the vial and putting it away. "So some emotions smell stronger than others?"

"Yeah," he agrees, licking over the cut in his own finger. "Adrenaline smells pretty strongly, too. I guess those are the main ones. Obviously, humans don't tend to experience the full range of emotions in my presence, so maybe that skews it."

She spits into the tissue, rubbing it over the cut again. "Sounds more like hormones or pheromones or whatever. Okay, I think we should go."

"The beer smells pretty strongly, too," he remarks, getting up. "I'll walk you home."

That sounds utterly ridiculous but she'll allow it. Before she has a hunting party on her back. She leaves the beer bottle but makes sure to take the tissue and the vial. They walk through the tunnel-like hall, down the stairs. "Remember when you bled all over Old Town Square?" he asks.

She bares her teeth, forcing him to do the same. "You mean when you almost murdered me?"

"I didn't- Could you stop doing that?" he complains. "That's really uncomfortable."

She bares her teeth again. "Why? Don't like being reminded that you're a monster?"

"Just let me talk," he says, forcing the instinctual reaction down. "Really."

"Okay, fine," she relents. "Yes. Remember very well."

"I think every vampire in this town knows your smell by now," he remarks. "So really, you can just drop that bloody tissue in the trash."

She stops. "Wait. You're telling me every vampire in this town knows how to find me?"

He snorts. "You think I follow you around because I'm bored and your life is oh so interesting?"

"No need to get mean," she returns. "Also, you just slept for 50 years, if I remember correctly, so don't talk to me about boring ."

"Not 50 years on end, but yeah," he replies. "Point taken. What I'm saying is, if you don't want to get hurt, forget about the tissue and instead don't get on the Malá Strana again."

"I don't take advice from you," she reminds him. "Or I would already be a bloodthirsty monster with fangs."

He sighs. "Oh right. Because nothing can be easy with you."

"That should be enough, right?" she asks, dangling the vial. Bruce takes it with clear surprise.

"Don't tell me you made a blood pact with that monster," Tony remarks, pointing vaguely at her face without looking up. "Yeah, thanks. The centrifuge first, right?"

"Shut up, I just didn't see that branch," she returns. "It's fine. Got home safe."

"I can take a look at it," Bruce offers, filling the blood from the vial into smaller vials. "Just a second."

"No, really, just a scratch," she repeats, crossing her arms. "So? Is it working?"

"What?" Tony asks incredulously. "You want a result right now? Don't make me laugh, Romanoff."

She rolls her eyes, turning impatiently. "Fine. I'll go to bed now."

She's just gearing up to go out a few days later when she notices Tony unfurling on the sofa like a really lazy cat. "Mhm. Oh hey. So, I should tell you, despite our infinite wisdom, the theory didn't quite pan out. But we still have vampire blood, so we can continue working on that."

She breathes out. "Oh. Okay."

"You didn't really expect everything to go right on the first try ," Tony remarks incredulously. "This is a really complex problem. We're years from coming even close to understanding what the fuck is going on with these monsters."

"No, no, I get that," Natasha replies unconvincingly. "Sure. You're right. I'll just, I'll just head out."

"You're not on shift," Tony points out. "Aren't you, you know, on your period? Pep said… Sure you should go out?"

She breathes out again. "It's going to be fine, Tony. Really." And she flees the tower again.

#blood and stone #buckynat #vampire au #natasha romanoff #black widow #bucky barnes #winter soldier #my writing #fanfic

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