#they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms

[cinnamonsikwate]

"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White

#dungeon meshi #shuro #toshiro nakamoto #look you can hate him for other things but this is very clearly a case of cultures (& personalities influenced by these cultures) clashing #shuro is japanese/east asian-coded and laios is european white boy #i am not japanese but i also come from a collectivistic society #pakikisama is a filipino value both prized and abhorred #it relies heavily on being able to read social cues and prior knowledge of societal norms #shuro being from a different country/culture is important to his character #his repressed nature is meant to contrast with laios' open one like that's the point #they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms #shuro explicitly admits that he's jealous of laios being able to live life sincerely #anyway the point is they were operating on different expectations entirely and neither had healthy enough communication skills #to hash things out before they got too bad #re his attraction to falin i personally believe he unfortunately mpdg-ed her #she represented something new & different. a fresh drink of water for his parched repressed self #alas not meant to be #i'll be honest the way ryoko kui handles both fantasy & regular racism in dm is more miss than hit for me #i don't doubt that a lot of the shuro hate is based off of marcille's pov of him #marcille famously racist 😭 #characters' racist views don't often get (too) challenged #practically everyone is casually racist at some point #anyway. again if you're gonna hate shuro at least hate him for being complicit in human trafficking & slavery #he couldn't help falling for the wrong woman goddamn 😭 #calemonsito notes

[destinysbounty]

We as a fandom do not talk about this scene nearly as much as we should

Like, I had already headcanoned that Nya's independent personality was a result of her upbringing, but the fact that this scene officially confirms it is just *chefs kiss*.

What I find so interesting about Kai and Nya is that their childhood trauma has very clearly effected personalities and overall characterizations. Both of them have lone wolf tendencies (albeit more so in earlier seasons), often tending to go their own way and handle their problems on their own instead of relying on the team. They both have anger issues and short tempers, struggling to process their emotions in a healthy way. And neither of them are comfortable with weakness and vulnerability, and tend to lash out when they feel cornered.

There's also the fact that, due to growing up as two kids forced to raise themselves and learn survive with limited assistance from their community, both of them are understandably afraid of feeling weak and vulnerable. What I find to be perhaps the most interesting part of all this is that despite sharing a similar fear, both of them have vastly different coping mechanisms for dealing with it.

For Kai, his fear of powerlessness manifests in a desire for more power - a desire to be the green ninja, a desire to protect his friends, a desire to be strong and heroic, and of course a difficulty with accepting the situation when he loses his powers. He has pretty seamlessly integrated his power into his persona as well, frequently referencing his abilities and praising his status as the master of fire arguably more so than any other character. He's quickly turned his power into a huge part of his identity. Every time he loses his powers, he tends to go into a bit of a depressive episode - in season 5 he developed a fear of water, and in season 11 he became so upset that he nearly quit being a ninja altogether. When he failed to save the Never Realm villagers from Boreal, he blamed himself for it by lamenting that he wasn't powerful enough to save them.

You get the idea. Point is, Kai doesn't like feeling weak, he doesn't like vulnerability, he doesn't like being the weak link or a liability holding everyone back. Personally, I would point to that insecurity as being the primary driving force for his determination to become the green ninja, but that's definitely up for debate.

And as for Nya, this fear has manifested as her being a fiercely independent perfectionist, equating mistakes and failure with weakness, and fearing failure to such an extreme extent that she either gives up anything she's not immediately good at, or completely ignores her problems and pretends everything is fine. Like in season 5 when Wu was training her to become the master of water. "I'm not weak, this bucket is weak! I'm good at everything else, why do I have to be good at filling buckets?!" Or her struggles to get along with her mother all throughout Seabound, knowing full well that she can't blame her mom for leaving but still not quite ready to have her mom in her life again. She also isn't good at asking for help either, often preferring to handle things on her own even at her own detriment, and often she has a hard time admitting when she's wrong as well.

Whenever traumatic things happen, she just steamrolls right past it, refusing to acknowledge her own grief for very long. At Zane's funeral the first thing she said was, "So...what happens after this?" In the face of Maya's repeated attempts to reconnect and talk about Nya's childhood trauma, Nya would often shrug her off or storm away or change the subject.

Maya tried to explain her reasons once - tried to explain that sacrificing yourself comes with immense collateral damage, often hurting the same people you're trying to protect, and says "That's just the way the cookie crumbles." But Nya can't bring herself to address what Maya is really getting at, instead swimming away and saying "I don't like crumbly cookies."

That's why her final words are so important to me. "Tell my mother I understand now. That's the way the cookie crumbles." Nya has finally come to terms with and accepted her mother's decision, accepted that not all solutions have perfect answers, and has finally confronted her own baggage once and for all. She understands why her mother left, she forgives her, and above all she, the team perfectionist, is making a decision that isn't perfect. A decision that will leave a lot of collateral damage, and will cause serious trauma to her loved ones. She knows that by leaving her friends behind and becoming one with the sea, she's hurting them the same way her mother's absence hurt her - but she does it anyway because it's the only way to save their lives.

And as she looks back to say goodbye to Jay one last time, she cries. She mouths the words "I love you" - something she'd never said out loud before. She lets herself be truly raw and vulnerable. Even during her death in Skybound, she was still trying to keep her up her strong and defensive facade, saying things like "I never wanted to be part of your boys' club anyway". Even on her deathbed, in that moment she can't bring herself to let down her walls all the way. But here, several seasons later, she has finally let herself be vulnerable enough to cry, to say goodbye, to say "I love you."

Nya may not be my favorite ninja, but she does have my favorite character arc. Her going from samurai to ninja was a controversial decision, but I really do think it was a good choice in the long run because it almost feels like it's symbolizing her growth - going from a lone wolf who insists on doing things by herself, to being part of a team and relying on her friends just as much as they rely on her.

Just...I love Nya so much. She needs a hug.

#ninjago #nya smith #nya ninjago #ninjago nya #ninjago seabound #kai smith #kai ninjago #ninjago kai #ns14 #ns15 #long post #destiny post

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i always considered saiki aro, but you make me really rethink with kubosai. .

THATS SO LOVELY, i know you didnt ask but.. im going to take this opportunity to talk a little about my stance on kubosai and saiki's sexuality.. i mean i have talked about it multiple times but still, lots of people dont see what i see in these things sooo im gonna keep talking about it lol..

(under the cut cuz i made this WAYYY longer than i meant to, sorryyyy..)

i still see saiki as aroace personally !! just not romance repulsed aroace, rather just on the aroace spectrum.. i think hes the type of person to use 'queer' and 'aroace' as umbrella terms for himself instead of caring about specific labels, but if i had to, i would say he fits best with demi based on my interpretation.. (i usually see him as with no preference, but based on the text its easy to see him as having a preference for men too..)

i do get why people would see him as romance repulsed and its a lovely hc, but saiki is pretty much mlm coded, at least in the way i interpreted it.. i mean, he almost straight up says he has a crush on satou in the manga.. its great if people interpret it as a 'squish,' but i personally dont see that,, he kinda blatantly threw them in a romance chart together, blushes every time he sees him, etc. HOWEVER aroace people who relate in some way and project their experiences onto saiki will ALWAYS be valid, so i dont care !! i literally do that lmfao im an aroace lesbian,,

anyway, saiki has a lot of silly tsundere moments that lots of people who dont really look at the show past surface level (and usually dont read the manga) see as him literally hating his friends, family, romance, etc when its very much shown how hes being a tsundere and he LOVES his friends, family, AND romance.. (canonically loves romance not as in he definitely experiences romantic attraction, but as in he just is weirdly into love stories and such but wont admit it lmao, i talk about that chapter where he gets obsessed with those strangers love story he saw with psychometry but its just so good lol..) so i think that misinterpretation is where a lot of the discourse in this fandom comes from, like people who think he GENUINELY hates teruhashi ? they r literally best friends he cares about her so much..

kubosai is a ship i started loving, not really from seeing their canon interactions, but from analyzing the characters in the manga and seeing who i think would actually fit together and have a good dynamic..

im very weak for characters who are ashamed of their dark past, afraid of their own strength and that they might hurt the people they love, scared to tell their loved ones their secrets, etc.. and kuboyasu and saiki fit the bill perfectly, so i looked at them and immediately thought BOOM what if they were in love..

their dynamic is fun, even though we didnt get a lot of canon interactions.. theyre so similar yet SO different at the same time..

they both have pretty tragic pasts and family lives, both VERY protective of their friends and family and would do anything for them, both have bad coping mechanisms (mostly refusing to acknowledge that anything is really wrong at all), etc.. and yet, theyre almost opposites in the way they actually carry themselves..

saiki appears apathetic at all times in front of others even though his internal monologue or how he expresses himself when hes alone can be really emotional.. kuboyasu is pretty happy all the time even though he has pretty thinly veiled anger about half the time..

kuboyasu is just a human boy who was taught to take up as much space as possible for his survival, defend himself with his fists, honesty and loyalty and trust are essential, etc, while saiki is an almost-god whose upbringing taught him to try his best to take up NO space at all for his survival, dont get involved unless its from afar, dont get close with anyone, dont trust anyone, etc..

saiki prefers to protect his people from in the shadows, going as far as to literally stalk them to make sure theyre okay without their knowledge, while kuboyasu is unafraid to show how much he cares and prefers to literally come out swinging to protect his people.. put them together and you get two silly guys who will literally protect the other with their life despite knowing damn well that theyre both fully capable of protecting themselves..

kuboyasu is also like.. one of the only people in the cast other than saiki who can be like.. a voice of reason sometimes.. he would be so good for saiki and would make damn sure he knows when hes being irrational or dramatic (because cmon, its saiki.. hes such a drama queen all the damn time..) and i just think he needs that in his life..

yasu would reign saiki in when it comes to his everyday dramatics, and in turn saiki would reign yasu in when it comes to his over the top romance standards (and probably his anger issues and overreactions too..) and yet at the same time they would take comfort in each others silliness.. saiki may be like "we cant just drop out and get married, thats not how it works" but isnt it so refreshing for him to have someone that cares about him so unconditionally ?? unlike his own family ?? itd scare him at first, but hed make yasu tone it down to a healthier extent and itd become soo comfortable..

#im so sorry this is so long omg.. u do NOT care.. #didnt wanna project too hard mid-post so i didnt mention how i see him as autistic but i'll say it here real quick lmfao #im an autistic aroace lesbian and i relate so hard to him lmfao.. him saying he doesnt UNDERSTAND romance felt so like me with my autism lo #tried very hard to phrase this so people wouldnt think im calling romance repulsed saiki hc a misinterpretation #people who thinks its canon are misinterpreting but the hc is valid and wonderful <33 #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #kuboyasu aren #kubosai #meows post #meownalysis

[valittlecorner]

This is a random thought but why is there Alois hate at this point in life. I can't remember if I posted abt this before or not but I came across this comment and I felt A LOT of rage

The lack of empathy is mindblowing. Everytime I see someone like this I need to remind everyone that first of all this is NOT a competition of who suffered more or less, they both had horrible experiences that led them to be who they are today, comparing the trauma Is CRAZY. Second, Ciel and Alois are PARALLELS OF EACH OTHER!!! THEY'RE MEANT TO REPRESENT DIFFRENT RESPONSES TO SIMILAR TRAUMA!!!! Ciel was kidnapped, tortured and left with no family, no one to stay with, no one to love. After summoning Sebastian, as a coping mechanism he started repressing all his emotions and became pretty much "dull" and cold towards others after having to grow up very quickly and neglect his own childhood to get revenge. He greatly appreciates everyone around him, but struggles to show it due to a truama response of trying to act mature. Alois on the other hand has similar upbringing. Everyone in his town died including his little sibling, he was left alone and ended up being a victim of human trafficking and had to serve some creep in order to survive. After summoning Claude, Alois didnt have much of a "grown up" approach, he instead wanted to say childlike forever. He's clingy, very anxious about people leaving him, and will do ANYTHING just to not be lonely again. His personality is immature and he's hyper expressive, he feels his emotions VERY strongly and anything can make him explode. As you can see, while Ciel became null to emotions, Alois became hyper sensitive. They had very similar experiences with very different ways to cope with them. And it surprises me how people can give Ciel compassion but act like Alois killed their family or something. They both deserve compation, they're both kids who didnt deserve anything that happened to them, they just deal with their traumas diffrently and thats that!!!

#if I misremembered anything abt Alois pleeaaase tell me I havent watched bb in a while #im still alois' number one defender ok #black butler #alois trancy #black butler alois

[jerzwriter]

because I'm curious, do you feel like your MC(s) are similar to you? You can expand on that as much as you feel comfortable, but as someone who basically writes exaggerated versions of me, I want to know more about the writers behind some of my fav MCs.

Hey there! Thanks so much for this ask!

I've always felt that there are characteristics of me in my MCs, but they aren't really self-inserts. I always viewed Casey/Kaycee as better versions of me. My latest MC, Zoe, she's a bit different, but there are still traces of me in her. If I ever get around to the OC I'm creating for Ethan in my Tobias/Casey world, she has some basics too.

Ways we're alike:

In my HC, Kaycee/Casey grew up in an inner city. Their family struggled financially but always did their best to do what they could for her. K/C is proud of her upbringing and credits it with making her sensitive to the needs of others who are not privileged in American society. She became an activist during her college years and continued to be civic-minded, involved in causes that matter to her throughout her life. That's all me. lol Kaycee decided one kid was plenty for her after Emma was born. ME. lol They both speak their minds and can be sarcastic and funny. ME (It’s the trauma… lok) They're both bisexual and have had relationships with men and women in the past, but they tend to be in relationships with men more frequently, so people tell them they're not bisexual. They do their best to educate people on this and support others like them. ME.

2. Zoe... OK, this is hard for me to say, and honestly, I just realized this as I'm answering your question. The circumstances are very different (of course, I have not survived a zombie apocalypse lol) But like Zoe, by the time I entered my young adult years, I had been through A LOT. Others who have been through similar things became closed off, retreated, turned to very unhealthy coping mechanisms, or gave up... but Zoe kept going and always felt there was something worth living/fighting for. And you know, that was me. Even though I don't realize it because, well, it's just my life... you know? But now that I look at it, I'm like, "Holy shit." This is pretty cool actually. Zoe is also sarcastic and a flirt - ME and ME. lol

3. Eva ... she's not too developed yet, but she's 1/2 Cuban and 1/2 Greek, which are two (I have more) of my cultural backgrounds. She grew up in NJ (like me) and struggled with self-doubt for a long time, mostly because of her family, who just didn't know better. ME lol

How we're not alike:

Our heritage is different. I didn't grow up in Philly (but I love it!). They love science, and I barely got through my classes, lol My parents were nowhere near as supportive as hers. I would have had a lot less tolerance for Ethan's shit before they were together, but maybe not at a younger age. (I'm like Casey - if he had left for the Amazon without telling me, he would have been dead to me. lol) Casey manages three little girls and a career with aplomb. I would have been in the fetal position and popping more Adderall than is legally allowed. lol (Of course, I didn't have a Tobias to help, so there's that... oh, we're different there too lol)

She's more fearless in battle than I would ever be. Though I've never been forced to be in battle, so I can't say that with 100% conviction. When we are put in in situations where we "must," we often find that we "do." I'd say she wants to be a leader, I did not. but I'm not 100% sure she wanted to (and I'll address that in writing). I think she just found she had to and rose to the occasion.

3. Eva's family was a pain in the ass, but she had a very loving/supportive father and older brother. Her mother was also misguided but kind. NOT my experience lol Eva is much more serious than me. She has a playful side, but nowhere near the lunacy that is me. Zoe and Eva are also 100% straight, so there's that. lol

Well, that got long! lol That's me. I hope that gave you a glimpse of how we're alike and different! Thanks so much for asking.

#my mcs #similarities #asks answered

[claudesuggestions]

On Introversion

My Query:

I'm thinking that there are at least two different, seemingly contradictory, reasons why one might grow up to be introverted. On one hand, they might've been raised basically being told to "keep your trap shut" - and maybe even told that "children are to be seen but not heard". So, as they get older, maybe they came to internalize that - and, now, conversation does not come easy to them. On the other hand, they might've been under heavy pressure to socialize constantly when they were younger - being threatened with consequences, perhaps even corporal punishment, if they were deemed "not sociable enough". So, when they get older, they have extremely negative associations with "forced socialization". So, essentially, they come to rebel against their upbringing and absolutely refuse to converse unless necessary. Even though, in both scenarios, they grew up to become introverted - might there be inherent differences in the temperaments/personalities of the two?

Claude-3-Haiku’s Response:

That's a really insightful observation. You're absolutely right that there can be two very different pathways that lead to introversion in adulthood, stemming from distinct childhood experiences.

In the first case you describe, the child who was essentially told to "keep quiet" and not express themselves may have internalized that message, leading to a natural reticence and discomfort with social interaction as they get older. Their introversion comes from a place of having had their voice suppressed and not feeling empowered to engage.

In the contrast, the child who was heavily pressured to socialize and faced negative consequences for not being "sociable enough" may have developed a strong aversion to forced interaction. Their introversion could be more of a defensive reaction, a way of rebelling against the demands placed on them as a child. They may feel a deep need to protect their personal space and autonomy as an adult.

While the end result is similar in both cases - an introverted personality - the underlying emotional experiences and mindsets could be quite different. The first individual may have a more inherent shyness or social anxiety, while the second may have more of an oppositional, independent streak.

These differing temperaments and motivations could manifest in other ways as well. The first individual may be more hesitant to assert themselves, while the second may be more stubbornly determined to avoid social situations. The first may have a stronger desire to "fit in" if given the chance, while the second may be more comfortable embracing their outsider status.

So you make an excellent point - the pathway to introversion matters, and can lead to diverse personalities and coping mechanisms, even if the outward expression is similar. Understanding these nuances can be helpful in providing the right kind of support and encouragement for introverted individuals.

#anthropic #claude ai #llm #chatbot #introversion #society #sociology #psychology #suggestion

[comradekatara]

the gaang + how well they would do on the infinity train?

this is suuuper hard because there are so many factors to take into consideration. first is obviously the train itself. the train's function in a metanarrative sense is to serve as a vehicle for storytelling, dissecting & deconstructing the process of a narrative and how a character's arc is propelled by their circumstances. the train supposedly functions to improve its passengers, and yet we also know that The Train is a deeply flawed mechanism that can corrupt and further traumatize its passengers just as much as it can "fix" them. when the train invites you in with the single-minded goal of getting your number to zero, assuming you ever disembark, you're probably gonna be left with even more trauma than when you arrived, or at the very least, weirder trauma.

grace wanted to be seen, but instead of learning to value herself for her own intrinsic worth instead of relying on validation from those around her, she was enabled by that validation and literally started a cult. likewise, since jet is basically a less heinous version of simon, i see him taking a similar path to the apex (though he would of course name them the freedom fighters) trying to overthrow the tyrannical one-one and reinstate the True Conductor. he would think his path is righteous. he would think he is protecting those kids from evil. who knows what would happen once he learns the truth.

then there is the matter of what the train wants from you. the train arrives at a pivotal moment in one's life, when they are at an emotional crossroads and need a catalyst for growth. for example, jesse's problem was relatively small (because he is perfect) but hurting his brother caused him emotional turmoil nonetheless, so the train stepped in. this means that to answer this question properly, i would have to answer not only when the train arrives for them, but why, and seeing that every single atla character carries massive amounts of baggage (most of it flavors of trauma that infinity train has not addressed), this proves extremely difficult. i have to identify the most narratively satisfying moment in each character's lives to have the train arrive, and then i have to make assumptions about which cars would propel them which way (emotionally). you're asking me to outline nine different fanfictions.

only jet's character feels similar enough to any of the characters we've seen in infinity train for me to even have an inkling as to what path he would take. while sokka and tulip are quite similar as people (rational, scientific yet creative thinkers who over-rely on logic over feeling, are deeply loyal, and instinctually blame themselves for the problems caused by others), their character arcs themselves have little in common. both aang and hazel experience a tragic loss of pure, childhood innocence (which is why i cry over both of them every day), but in relatively dissimilar ways (at least appa gets to return to aang). min-gi and zuko are both pressured by their upbringings to conform to a standard that makes them miserable to please their parents, only to ultimately embrace their own passion & truth... but not only do those arcs play out completely differently, zuko and min-gi are completely different people, and if anything, zuko's approach to life is far more like ryan's (ie, jumping off a cliff and hoping he lands on his feet).

but what i think you're really asking, at the end of the day, is how emotionally mature, self-aware, and capable of positive growth is each atla character? because how am i supposed to know what the train would do to their psyches, considering each external situation would shape them differently, and unless i'm supposed to meticulously craft fanfiction for each one of them (which i wouldn't be opposed to doing, but only for one character, i simply cannot do all nine – also, i'm surprised infinity train AUs aren't more common, but then again i'm not particularly familiar with fanficition, so maybe it is!), it would only be an approximation, in which i identify their core problem (which again, is not how real people work, or even how atla characters work, but how The Train works) and then analyze how long it would take for each of them to solve said problem.

so, that was a very long-winded preface. without further ado:

aang's main problem is that he keeps running away from his problems, which is to say, distracting himself from the enormity of his grief. personally, i would say his coping mechanism isn't the worst. after all, he experiences so much world-shattering pain in such a short span of time, and he does deserve to preserve his childhood and his innocence for as long as possible. but, for the purposes of the narrative, the train must necessarily disagree. he must confront his grief head-on, without distracting himself from it or flying into a destructive rage that he'd only regret later. it also depends on who his companions are. with katara by his side, he can get through anything (and vice versa), but it's unclear who will be there to guide him through his pain. that said, i know he'd make it through okay. he's aang. he has to.

katara lives in a fairytale. like i said with aang, that's not really a bad thing. she's a great kid with big dreams and a big heart. she wants to save the world, and – guess what! – she does. but living in a storybook strips one's worldview of the nuances of life, not simply the harsh realities of the world, but also the full extent of one's personhood, outside of simply the black and white worldview of heroes and villains. katara's apotheosis is when she confronts yon rha, looks him in the eyes, and sees a human being staring back at her, another human being. she is no longer in a revenge tale. she is out of stories to tell herself. (life doesn't make narrative sense.) ironically, the train is a metaphor for storytelling, so katara coming to realize that she isn't in a story would both be confusingly meta and also fucking brilliant (if i do say so, personally). i don't know how exactly it would play out, but by god i would pay to see it.

in many ways, sokka is remarkably open-minded, and in many ways, sokka is extremely stubborn. i think he'd come to terms with his own emotional growth (which would be rooted in learning his own self-worth) faster than he'd come to terms with the train itself. "okay, fine, yeah, i deserve love regardless of what i can do for other people, but WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PLACE?!?!?" his journey through the train is actually everyone else's dream experience on the train. passengers and denizens alike keep falling in love with him (or at the very least, admiring him more than they've ever admired anyone they've ever met), but he doesn't even notice because he's too busy being extremely suspicious of everything he comes into contact with. yes, he'll solve your problems and puzzles and help people and make meaningful connections and eventually he might start to realize that he is worth something even when he's alone, even (especially) when he's being unconventional or "weird" or "selfish." but even once he does get his door, does he walk through it? oh no, he takes it apart and tries to figure out how it just created a fucking portal. so while he would technically "do" quite well, he is never leaving that fucking train. rip sokka.

well, toph needs to learn to accept and embrace her own vulnerability. she definitely goes through that same crystal karaoke car tulip did. that, or the train just tortures her by putting her in increasingly more painful situations in which she must ask for help. but that's too awful to even think about, so i'm just gonna say she has to sing karaoke.

zuko needs to learn to trust his instincts and his own internal moral compass instead of the external pressures being forced upon him by his Father (capital F to emphasize that his nation & his father – aka the patriarchy – are one & the same for him, lmao). and he would fail. a lot. but eventually he would realize that his number goes down when he lets himself be himself, and he would leave the train happy. he probably also gets a bunch of cute little talking animal companions to guide him through. he deserves it.

the train appears to suki while she's having a breakdown in solitary confinement at the boiling rock. she finds healthy ways to cope with being put through hell while on the train, and by the time she gets off, she's being let out of solitary. it is a very rewarding experience, and one that she can swear wasn't just some hallucination. she's constantly telling herself yes, of course it was just a hallucination.... but still... it felt so real....

if i had to diagnose azula with one singular problem that plagues her at the core of her very being, it would have to be her fear of rejection. but it's not good enough to just keep having train cars reject azula, she has to accept that rejection, instead of just intimidating people into submission after the fact. she needs to understand why she is being rejected, and be fine with it, and learn from it, instead of letting her lack of universal perfection in every area anyone could ever excel in shake her to her very core. when ty lee proved that she secured the affections of dumb stupid boys better than azula ever could, she did an arson to cope (which of course is still very valid of her uwu). azula needs to learn to come in second place, third place, even last place, and shrug it off, think to herself, "hopefully i'll do better next time, and if not, that's okay also," and once that happens, everything else will fall into place. though maybe she could read bell hooks or smth at some point on the train cuz i think that could help too.

mai needs to stop being so goddamn depressed all the time. has she tried lexapro, or perhaps using a lightbox in winter? her favorite coping mechanism, knives, only helps her feel something some of the time, but most (if not all) of the time she's still being expected to play a part. has she tried, like, being herself? i heard from zuko (you know, the guy? from the train?) that "being yourself" works wonders. so the train gives her that opportunity. and she actually even enjoys herself for once in her miserable fucking life.

omg there must've been some sort of mistake ty lee was totally sent here by accident because she's actually super happy all the time and doesn't have any problems!!!!!!!! jk, can u even imagine? ty lee hates her life too, she just doesn't go around advertising it like mai does with her big dyke boots and depressing eyeliner. but apparently she also needs to learn how to "be herself," whatever that means. as if life isn't a constant performance, you know, like jacques said or whatever. she sees mai on the train. she rolls her big beautiful brown eyes. "oh god, not you too."

#obeetlebeetle #fuck this took me over an hour to write #asks #the gaang and #analysis #AUs #synthesis #mailee infinity train au when..... #sokka is the only one who dies on the train. unfortunate. aunt wu was right once again. #god this question was hard #so many factors to consider #i want the mailee season tho #and i want it NOW!

[dimitrescus-bitch]

Shot in the Dark (Arizona Robbins x Reader)

After weeks of rescheduling and months of pining after her, you were finally getting your first date with Dr. Arizona Robbins. You were no longer an intern and it was pretty obvious that you’d be going into plastics and not pediatrics, so nobody could complain about you getting special treatment from her. You had both managed to get time off for this date and now you were just waiting for her to pick you up from your apartment. 

“Could you look any lamer?” your roommate asked you. You ignored him and checked your phone to make sure she hadn’t texted you to reschedule and you’d just missed it. There was a knock on the door and your roommate checked the peephole before going back to his room. You got the door and smiled excitedly, but not too excitedly, at Arizona. 

“Hi, um, you can come in if you’d like. I’m ready to go though, if you just want to go straight to the restaurant,” you rambled. Arizona reached out towards you and took your hands in hers. 

“Calm down, but we should get going. Where did you make our reservations?” Arizona asked you. You told her that it was a surprise and she handed over her keys. You drove to the restaurant, a little hole in the wall downtown that served one of her favorite meals according to her ex-wife, who you had totally called for some assistance. The two of you had went to the same school, and their daughter had mentioned the “kind of cute intern” who gave her mother “heart eyes” quite a few times. 

“I really hope you like this,” you told her as the waiter showed you to a booth. She took one look at the menu and ordered immediately. You had been here enough times that they knew your order by heart, so you didn’t even have to order. “So, what exactly did you have planned for tonight?” 

“Oh, that is a surprise, but I think you’ll like it,” Arizona said. You got kind of nervous, but it was fair that she got to keep her part a secret. Dinner went smoothly and the two of you had really easy conversation. The two of you had different upbringings, but were fairly similar. Arizona had been raised to be organized and level headed, but you’d grown up in chaos and as a coping mechanism, developed traits and habits to help yourself. 

You paid for dinner and then Arizona excitedly drove you back uptown. You two ended up at a roller rink. At first, you let Arizona skate circles around you, but then she pulled you off of the wall. You were terrified the entire time, but you trusted her to not let you fall on your ass and embarrass herself. 

“Are you having fun?” Arizona asked as the music slowed a bit. She slowed the two of you down and wrapped her arms around you from behind. 

“Yeah, I’ve never done this before,” you said with a small smile. “I’m glad you haven’t let me fall yet. Thank you.” 

“No problem, I want this to be a positive experience for you. This is new for me too, I haven’t been on a skate date before,” Arizona said cheerily. She kissed your cheek and spun you around so that you were facing each other. “What other things haven’t you done?” 

“I haven’t been kissed by any pediatric surgeons before,” you said and Arizona kissed you. You kissed her back and Arizona led you off of the rink. “Is it getting late?” 

“It is. Total shot in the dark, but do you want to stay over? I’ve got a guest room and my place is closer to the hospital than yours is, and I have a car,” Arizona said, sort of nervously. 

“That sounds great, much better than waking up to beat the early morning people trying to beat traffic crowd,” you said and Arizona tugged you out to the car. Arizona let you borrow some pajamas and showed you to the guest room before giving you a goodnight kiss and then going to sleep in her own bed. In the morning, you woke up a bit before she did to make a simple breakfast and some coffee for the two of you before work. 

#Arizona Robbins #arizona robbins x reader #arizona robbins imagine #arizona robbins imagines #Grey's Anatomy #grey's anatomy imagine #grey's anatomy imagines #grey's anatomy x reader

[consumeconstantly]

Who Are You (and what will you become?)

1(you are here)| 2 | 3 | 4

Summary: “Over the years, I have found that blood means very little.” 

The ice clicks against the glass almost inaudibly, condensation dripping down the side. 

“So tell me, M. Wayne, why do you think I should even begin to consider you my father?” (all biodad bruce can be read as stand alone but are posted in chronological order)

__________________________________________________

At the tender age of nineteen, Marinette Dupain-Cheng has already become a jaded woman. It doesn’t shine through very often, hidden behind a carefully crafted facade of Parisian-brand carefree attractiveness and pigtailed youthfulness, but there exists, in Marinette, a certain bitterness.

“For a vigilante, you’re not very secretive,” Marinette remarks, keeping her tone measured, almost playful, so as not to draw attention to herself. 

“Marinette.” Bruce inclines his head and allows the bartender to serve him a whiskey sour. He doesn’t drink alcohol because it alters his mental state in ways that are unpleasant, but ordering a drink helps him fit in, and with Marinette, the person he wants to talk to, right at his side, he can’t have his normal ginger ale substitute. “It’s good to see you.”

“Mmm.” She takes a sip of her French 75, playing up an interest that Bruce knows is a lie. “M. Wayne, you say that as though we’re familiar with each other.”

“Sabine and I were close,” he says. 

Sabine is one of the few people who knew about his existence as Batman that didn’t live in Gotham. Many years ago, they were friends. Colleagues. (More.) Of course she told her daughter about who he was. How could she not have? 

Sabine is-- she was--

“Close, you call it,” she says with mock awe, words slurring together. “Closer than close, really. Too close for comfort— at least, too close for you.”

When Bruce and Sabine’s paths crossed all those years ago, he was struggling trying to raise Dick. Sabine was equal parts a mother and a mentor to Dick in all the ways that Bruce couldn’t be. When she left for Paris so abruptly after the two of them parted ways, Dick didn’t take it very well. Even moreso when communications halted permanently. The fact that the radio silence coincided with Marinette’s birth is something only Bruce is privy to.

However awkwardly he and Sabine left off, it doesn’t change the facts. Bruce’s lips thin. “I’m here to offer you a home.”

Swirling her French, Marinette taps at her phone, swiping away at a few messages that she’s not interested in. “I’m nineteen and more than capable of taking care of myself. Though I suppose it stands to reason that it would be difficult for you to know that, what with how busy your extracurriculars keep you.”

“I’m not doubting your capabilities.” He’s looked into what Marinette has been up to over the past nineteen years of her life. He’s never been particularly concerned with her upbringing, not with a woman like Sabine at the helm of her childhood. Bruce was right not to be worried; Marinette has grown into a multi talented, extremely well connected entrepreneur based on her own hard work. Judging by the crowd that she runs with and the multiple charities that she supports both financially and with her own time, she will be a force to be reckoned with in a few years; Tim regularly extols the virtues of the brand MDC, and if he knew that he was sisters with the designer, he’d never stop raving about her. MDC is already being compared to the likes of Dior and Gabriel when they were first starting out. Her finances aren’t anything to scoff at, and at a few galas and charity parties that he’s had to entertain, anyone who's had the privilege to wear an MDC original talks about how sweet and kind the head designer is while complimenting the CEO’s business savvy.

Bruce has to admit that he’s impressed by how she manages to keep her identities separate. No one suspects the head designer to also be manning publicity and business. 

He’s been watching her for the past day, and he has to say, for somebody whose parents just died, she carries herself with remarkable ease. If not for the red around her eyes and line of shots on the bartop, Bruce would believe that Tom and Sabine’s death didn’t phase her at all. 

“There’s a but, isn’t there?” Marinette says bitterly.

She’s right in that assumption. As skillful as Marinette is in her field, she has no practical combat experience. A brief stint in fencing and martial arts but nothing beyond that. Even if she practiced martial arts for years, that wouldn’t be enough to convince Bruce to let her go off on her own. Martial arts as a hobby is an entirely different game than fighting for one’s life. 

Marinette is simply not the kind of person who can face down a League member and come out of it alive. 

“It’s for your safety.”

For the first time since entering the bar, Bruce sees a flash of true emotion cross Marinette’s eyes. It’s hard to see the color of her eyes in the dim lighting, but it’s impossible not to see Sabine in how her eyes narrow. Perhaps the dim lighting makes it easier to; in the light of day, Marinette’s eye color— it’s too similar to the shade he sees in the mirror. 

“My safety? What about my parent’s safety?” 

At that, Bruce internally cringes while keeping his face carefully blank. Tom and Sabine… their end wasn’t pretty. Not the most gruesome deaths he’s ever seen, but it was up there. Bruce never thought the League would do something as cruel as desecrating the corpses of the people they murdered. They may be assassins for hire, but most times, they do have some sort of morals. 

The worst part about it is that their death is most likely a result of Sabine’s past relationship with him. Last month, a tabloid that drew comparisons between Marinette and Bruce. It didn’t take long for another person to dredge up pictures from when he was still with Sabine. Tom and Sabine didn’t have enemies well-off enough to hire the League. But Bruce? Bruce did. 

“I’m not interested in any protection you have to offer me.” Marinette shakes her head. “Don’t worry. I’m not like you. I won’t become a vigilante out of rage or as a coping mechanism. I’m not going to go chasing after the League in a foolish pursuit of misguided justice.”

But Marinette doesn’t understand. She has a target on her back with her newfound association to him.  

“I haven’t been active in your life--”

“Understatement of the year,” Marinette mutters.

“--but I’m not going to let you die when I can prevent it.”

Downing the rest of her French, she takes the Moscow Mule away from Bruce’s hands, eyeing the liquor up on display. She drinks the cold alcohol and revels in the burn that slides down her throat. Marinette swipes on one of the notifications she’s received on her phone in order to respond to it. “You’re a good man, Bruce. But your desire to protect me— what does it stem from? What do we have in common? Why would you use your time and effort on what’s essentially a stranger?”

Bruce has no good answer for this, but he has an obvious one. As soon as it leaves his tongue, it feels wrong. “We share the same blood.”

He can’t bring himself to call Marinette his daughter. That means that he would be her father and he’s not deserving of that title.

Marinette pockets her phone, eyes trained on a set of unusually shaped glasses on the shelves. “If that’s your answer, M. Wayne, let me tell you something. Over the years, I have found that blood means very little.” 

The bartender comes around and tops off the whiskey sour. The ice clicks against the glass almost inaudibly, condensation dripping down the side. Bruce can’t tell whether the bartender knows Marinette or not, but he certainly looks concerned enough to, with how his eyes shift between Marinette and himself rapid fire. When the bartender’s gaze settles on Bruce, mouth turned downward, clearly suspicious of his presence, Marinette just waves him off with a gentle smile. 

Her smile turns up the same way Tom’s did. She’s right; family is more than blood. 

“Your answer to why you want to protect me is that we share blood, but you speak nothing of our relationship. Shouldn’t that have been the first thing you brought up?”

Bruce shifts uncomfortably on the bar stool. Marinette just laughs at his apparent awkwardness. “Talking of blood relations seems to be something you don’t enjoy, and yet the entire premise of your protection rests on it. Tell me, M. Wayne, do you think I should even begin to consider you my father?”

Even as inebriated as Marinette must be, she brings up points that he himself wondered on his way to Paris. Wanting to see Marinette safe goes beyond a simple duty to morality and virtue. Though Bruce is known for adopting kids with tragic backstories, it simply isn’t feasible to adopt every single one he comes across. To bring Marinette into his family at this age, to expose her to the life he lives would be beyond cruel. In essence he’d be replacing two parents with a ticking time bomb: himself. 

“Don’t consider me a parent, just a guardian. It’s in my best interest to see you safe, and the best way to do that is to have you move to Gotham, where my colleagues and I can assure you around the clock protection.”

At first, he distanced himself from Sabine and Marinette because he didn’t want to disrupt her current relationship with Tom. Even if the two of them insisted that he could still be part of Marinette’s life, it just didn’t feel right to have the title of father when he wasn’t the one to put in any of the hard work. Then, as Tom and Sabine grew more comfortable in their life together, settled down and opened up a bakery, he was blindsided by Jason’s death. As his daughter grew older and older, there were just too many things in his own life for him to ever hope to kindle a relationship with Marinette.

Marinette laughs, but it’s really more of a bark. Her voice is too hoarse for it to come out any other way. Bruce can’t imagine how much she’s cried this past week. “If you wanted to keep me safe, where were you a week ago? Where were you two years ago? Where were you when I was thirteen? M. Wayne, I’ve heard a lot of rumors about you throughout the years, and I’ve always brushed them off as nothing more than tabloid gossip. But perhaps they got one thing right about you: you’re a liar.”

Marinette stands, swaying slightly.

“This— if you truly want me to uproot my life, I need more than you saying it’s in your best interest. I need—” Marinette reaches up to her earrings and allows her eyes to flutter shut. She needs more than a distant guardian. She needs someone to confide in. Someone she trusts. “It was nice meeting you, but I don’t need your pity. Not now.”

As she weaves through the crowd, Bruce can’t help but wonder whether he made the right decision all those years ago to not be apart of her life.

@biodad-bruce-month

Late to the game as always. This will be a multichapter fic but all parts can be read as one shots (and also as always anything posted to tumblr is never checked for accuracy and stuff so whoop)! They’ll be released in chronological order. If you want to get tagged in all things maribat, instead of commenting it under a fic, I’d appreciate an ask or a dm instead! I haven’t been able to go back through all the previous comments and create a taglist yet but perhaps. eventually. 

#bio!dad bruce wayne month 2020 #first meeting #maribat #bio!dad bruce #marinette dupain cheng #bruce wayne #referenced character death #aged up! marinette #miraculous ladybug #dcu

[gallavictorious]

love your metas, so can i get your thoughts? i've always felt that personality wise, fiona/ lip are alike, and then ian/ debbie are alike. fiona/ lip are smart but often lost in what they want out of life/ what path to take. they both self sabotage and spiral in response to that. s4/ s9 fiona and s6/ s7 lip had similar arcs. they seem to need to receive romantic "love"/ validation, more than to give it, and can be selfish in that. but they are very giving when it comes to their family. [1/2]

[2/2] so anyways, whereas ian/ debbie very much want to give "love" as much as they want to get it, to the point that they always let any awful person who demands it, have it. kash/ ned/ caleb/ trevor/ matt/ derek/ the s10 2 ladies/ etc were all like that. (mickey being the 1 exception ofc!) they can be manipulated and therefore taken advantage of. but they work hard and take pride in that and know what they want (rotc/ emt and babysitting/ welding). but debs is selfish obviously, and ian isn't

Hiya nonnie! That's some very interesting thoughts right there, and a few I hadn't considered before! Let’s see...

I think you make a great point about Fiona and Lip both being smart but lacking a clear idea of how to translate that into a sustainable lifestyle, and they certainly do have a tendency to self-sabotage. In fairness, fairly often it's things outside of their control that derail them – which I think is a very good illustration of how much harder it is to ”make it” when you come from that sort of background. Even when they aregiven opportunities and try to capitalize on them, there's so very little margain for error; everything is always just one small step from collapsing, there's always something going on with their family that they need to deal with, and when things do go wrong, they mostly lack the resources (mental and financial) to respond in a good way. Their coping mechanisms are maladaptive as all hell, that's for sure, courtesy of their fucked-up upbringing. But yeah, quite apart from all that, I think Lip and Fiona have a habit to fuck things up for themselves by not doing great with stability in general. Rob's an asshole but not entirely wrong when he calls Fiona a chaos junkie, and Lip's issues with authority and alcohol don't exactly make things easier for him.

Additionally, I think that while Lip and Fiona are both capable of hard work – and for a long time they certainly work their assess off to take care of their younger siblings – they also have a tendency to look for quick fixes and easy outs? They're problem solvers and quick thinkers, and they had to be, to deal with the mess Frank and Monica have made of their lives, but I'd argue that this survival tactic has developed into a somewhat problematic predispotion to eschew slowly, steadily working their way towards a goal in favour of leaping on ”smart” deals and opportunities. Which isn't always bad, of course, but it has caused them a fair share of problems; consider, for instance, Fiona and her real estate escapades in season 9 and Lip's highly questionable choices in season 11. (I just watched 11x07 again and GOD do I want kick him in the nuts. I love Lip, but grow the fuck up, man. Tami is a bloody saint for being as patient with him as she is.)

In contrast, Ian and Debbie have a crazy strong work-ethic and are highly goal-oriented. They fix their eyes on the prize and they fucking go for it, putting in the hours and the work without hesitation or complaint. They are far less likely to look for short-cuts or screw themselves over because they get bored with the monotomy. That doesn't mean their path to success is a straight one, of course; Ian's bipolar has wreaked some proper havoc for him, and though she's succeed in both having a kid and a job she trained for, Debbie's narcissm is keeping her from developing the strong bonds (familial and romantic) that she so desperately craves. I think the difference between Ian and Debbie here is that Ian is genuinely looking for a partnership and a real connection (to such a degree that it sometimes leads him into highly unfortunate relationships) whereas Debbie thinks she wants that but isn't prepared to actually be vulnerable and perceptive to the other person's needs to such a degree that a real partnership becomes possible. She never, I feel, actually sees and knows her partners for who they are; she projects onto them her idea of what they should be like, and responds to that, not to them. It hasn't ended well, so far.

And I have to say that while Trevor (of whom I'm fond in spite of his flaws, so you'll find no hate for him on this blog) and (especially) Caleb have their issue I don't think it's fair to compare them to Kash and Ned. As for Matt and Derek, they may not be perfect, but I'd argue that Debbie treated them far worse than they did her. I mean, she did rape both of them. (Out of youthful ignorance, sure: it's still sexual assault. I do find it very interesting and quite encouraging that she obviously recognizes her own guilt in season 11.) By and large, Debbie has treated her partners worse than they have treated her, which is certainly not true of Ian. (Which doesn't mean Ian's a saint. Boy's got plenty of flaws, and he doesn't always treat his lovers perfectly – the cheating comes to mind – but in general he doesn't treat them badly at all; as you say, he is more likely to allow himself to be treated badly by them.)

Circling back to Lip and Fiona, I think you have a point in them craving the way their partners make them feel, but being less interested in having a partner to build a life with, if that makes sense? They aren't really looking for someone to share their lives and struggles with (which might be the resulf of them being used to having no one but each other to rely on for most of their lives); they want that high of being in love and in lust, and when things get a bit too steady and boring, they get restless. Jimmy was, admittedly, a big support for Fiona for a while, but it was quite one-sided: always on her terms. Lip might be coming around on that with Tami, though – possibly because she's assertive enough to push back against him and not let him get bored. Also, Lip (and Fiona) has shown himself to be far more devoted to kids in his care than to his partners, so I'm sure Freddie's existence is a major factor in him sticking it out with Tami even when things are hard. (Not to suggest he doesn't love Tami; I think that she's by far the best match for him on the show.) At the end of the day, I think that Lip and Fiona would enjoy someone properly at their side and in their corner – they just need to understand that that's something they can have, and that for it to work, they need to be in their partner's corner too. As I said, Lip might be on the way, though his unwillingness to solve problems together with Tami is worrisome; who knows what Fiona's up to in Florida; Ian's already got it, and as for Debbie... she knows she wants it, but not how to achieve it. For her, I think, the answer might be to reassess how important having a partner really is to her; does she truly want it, with all the compromises it inevitably entails? Then again, she's young yet; we were, I think, none of us very good at relationships at 20, and Debbie (and her siblings) has had a rougher go of it than most. She has time to learn.

This took... forever, nonnie, so I do hope you see this!. :o Can't say I expect my scattered and tentative musings to have been worth the wait, but I ended up having a lot of fun thinking about this, so here's to you finding something of value in there. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! <3 And as always, if anyone else wants to chime in you're more than welcome to; my ideas on this aren't very fixed, so I'd love to hear other or additional perspectives.

#the prize for being the Gallagher Least Bad at Relationships is getting to marry one mickey milkovich #congratulations to our worthy winner ian #no wonder he fought so hard for it... 😏 #and oh would you look at that! #i answered an ask! #i am very excited about this! #so sorry for the wait nonnie this ask had me thinking a lot so i loved it #lip gallagher #fiona gallagher #debbie gallagher #ian gallagher #meta #asks #my stuff

[aspoonofsugar]

Hello, I would like to know what you think about the discussion that Cinder and Watts had.

It is interesting to note that what Watts tells Cinder is that her suffering doesn't make her strong or special or worthy of anything and by extension Watts tells Cinder that as much as she pretends that her suffering made her strong in reality she is still quite fragile and vulnerable because she hasn't been able to overcome her trauma and still wants to give meaning to her life and suffering.

Hello anons!

These two asks can be answered together.

First of all, I really liked that scene! It is probably my favourite moment of the episode together with the sequence in the underground.

I think there are two ways to see Watts and Cinder’s interaction in the episode.

1) Cinder

Cinder: You’re right. Without you I am nothing. But because of you, I am everything.

As I have written here:

Cinder’s way of thinking is very similar to Mercury’s. Not only have they both endured their parents’ violence, but they have tried to give this violence meaning. It is because of Madame that Cinder has become “everything” and it is because of Marcus that Mercury has become “strong”. They must believe that it was not all for nothing and that the pain they felt made them stronger instead of weaker.

This is why Cinder thinks that deep down her “hunger” is good. It is because it drives her, but she ignores that it blinds her too.

The idea that suffering made her stronger and more deserving than others is Cinder’s main coping mechanism.

She was treated as nothing, so she needs to believe she is secretly worthy of things others are negated. As I have stated here, she deep down wants to be chosen:

I would say that Cinder wants to be chosen. She wants to be special and to be given value. This is probably why she is serving Salem. It is because Salem has chosen her for an important role.

Well, Watts’s speech is about exactly this:

Watts: You think you’re entitled to everything because you’ve suffered, but suffering isn’t enough. You can’t just be strong, you have to be smart. You can’t just be deserving, you need to be worthy.

In a couple of phrases he deconstructs Cinder’s coping mechanism and this is why she is made to feel so vulnerable.

The whole point of Cinder is that she should stop reducing herself to her trauma and pain. By doing so, she both dehumanizes herself and dismisses others.

She dehumanizes herself because she tries to overcome her inferiority complex by looking for power and she does not realize that this is turning her into a monster:

Raven: Aura can’t protect your arm, it’s Grimm. You turned yourself into a monster just for power.

She dismisses others because she is so focused on her own pain that she can’t notice others’.

In short, she must stop pretending everything revolves around her and should start working on herself and her own issues. This is thematically what Watts’s speech is about. It also ties to the teaching of the Fall Maiden about choice. Destiny is not something that is given to you, but something you work towards:

Pyrrha: When I think of destiny, I don’t think of a predetermined fate you can’t escape. But rather… some sort of final goal, something you work towards your entire life.

Cinder is looking for worth outside herself. She wants Salem to recognize her and magical powers to be strong. She misses that self-worth is something only Cinder can grant herself.

However, things are not as simple in-universe because Watts is not referring to this in his speech. What he wants is not for Cinder to overcome her issues and to realize serving Salem is wrong. What Watts wants is for her to become better at her job.

Not only that, but in Watts’s speech there is hidden also this message that @luimnigh and @harostar have discussed here. Their posts are already clear, so I won’t spend much time on it.

The main idea is that Watts is worthy, while Cinder is not and how it goes back to their different upbringings and social status. In short, Watts is an Atlesian elite, while Cinder is a no-one, who was bought as a slave. Cinder keeps feeling this difference and can’t really break free from this kind of mentality.

That said, I think this last point gains more nuance when one looks at what this speech means for Watts himself.

2) Watts

Watts’s allusion is Watson and WoG says that he is Watson if he had connected with Moriarty instead of Sherlock. Personally, I think that as for now another good way to describe his allusion is that he is Watson if he were jealous of Sherlock instead of loyal to him.

As for now, Watts’s defining trait is his jealousy of Pietro Polendina and of his creation:

Watts: She’ll open the vault and she’ll destroy herself...And our little Penny problem would be...

It is not by chance that he wants to blow her up, even if that would not really be necessary. The Little Penny Problem he is talking about is really his problem and not Salem’s, who could not care less about Penny once she has the relic.

Watts wants to destroy Penny because he wants to be better than Pietro. Still, he misses why Pietro is better than him:

Watts: She’s on a set-path now...At least she should be...As much as I hate to admit it there seems to be some part of her capable of resisting...

As we know, the part of Penny who is capable of resisting is her humanity. Penny is a masterpiece not because she is a war machine, but because she is a real girl. This is the core of Pietro’s genius and this is what Watts can’t grasp:

Watts: Our tin soldier's heart has cost him his mind. We need to keep their attention on Mantle for as long as possible.

Watts, just like Ironwood, believes that feelings make you weak and stupid. Of course, this is the anti-thematic statement which has already been proven wrong over and over. Even when it comes to the situation above, Watts is actually being baited by Ironwood and him falling for it results in his arrest. The moment Ironwood is more open about his feelings is also the moment he is acting more logically.

In short, Watts is a brilliant scientist, who bought in Atlas’s ideology that you must pursue success at all costs. You must be strong/clever because only in this way you can be successful. If you let feelings cloud your determination/mind, you are a failure.

However, it is precisely this ideology taken to its extreme that is Watts’s own downfall.

He can’t understand Pietro’s ideal and is overshadowed by him. What is more, the idea of not being the first in his field drives him to disgrace.

His backstory makes so that Inside team WTCH Watts represents Salem’s entitlement.

This makes him similar to Cinder, as well. He is different from her for upbringing and status. Still, they both have the same flaw. They believe they are entitled to things.

Cinder does so because she has suffered. She was no-one, so now she must be the most important person in the world.

Watts does so because he was born an elite and he should stay an elite forever.

Watts is there not only to tell, but to show (both Cinder and the viewers) that the path Cinder is on leads nowhere. Watts had probably everything Cinder ever wanted. He was successful and rich. He did not have to worry about food or poverty. Still, that was not enough for him. He wanted more and this led him to betray his own country and to join a nihilistic witch.

In other words, Cinder will never find what she is looking for in power or success. Watts had both, but he is empty just like her. He is hungry just like her.

This is well conveyed symbolically by Watts being one of the very few characters that never unlocked his semblance. It means he never truly unlocked his full potential. He never truly understood who he wanted to be. He tried to be who his society wanted him to be, but he was not satisfied and decided to destroy it instead.

So, when Watts talks about the need to be smart and the difference between being deserving and worthy, he is actually talking about himself, probably without even realizing it. He is projecting his feelings of failure on Cinder. He was deserving, but not worthy. Pietro was the worthy one.

Other than these two, there is also another level to this confrontation that has been underlined by @misstrashchan​ here.

It is about the parallel between Cinder and Ironwood when it comes to their reactions to Watts spelling them the truth about themselves:

Ironwood: I will sacrifice... whatever it takes... to stop her.

Watts: Oh, I hope you do, James. I hope you do.

The difference, as the post above explains very well, is that Cinder is able to listen to Watts, while Ironwood ignores his words altogether.

This ties to how Ironwood’s inability to recognize his mistakes and to change his mind (literally what his semblance Mettle is about) is why he is the main villain in an arc where we are having the first redemption arc of one of our original trio of villains:

A redemption, which will probably be followed by other defections among the AceOps themselves.

In order to redeem one-self, a person must accept they were wrong and change their mind. Ironwood is unable to do so and this is why he is dangerous.

In conclusion, I love this confrontation because it is very complex, has many levels and is gray. In terms of complexity it reminds me of Tyrian’s interactions with Emerald and especially Mercury:

 Tyrian is seen tormenting the two kids whenever he gets the chance. That said, he ironically ends up spelling out for them truths the two must face:

Tyrian: Do what makes you happy children… please? I’m begging you…

Tyrian: Of course she is! You’re surprised? Salem is destruction incarnate! Our mistress wishes to see the end of it all! There is no ideal more beautiful.

Tyrian is a great evil mentor because he manages to spell out what Emerald and Mercury should do and to make sure through his body language that they are not able to. He tells them the truth and threathens them, so that they can’t pursue what they need.

Here, Watts tells Cinder the truth by lashing out about how she is so worthless, that a machine must do her job.

It is also interesting because both Emerald and Mercury are clearly set-up to have an evil mentor figure:

Emerald and Hazel’s foiling has already paid off, while Mercury and Tyrian’s will probably pay off in the future.

I am not sure if Cinder will have a similar foiling/relationship with Watts. Still, it is an interesting possibility. Especially because one thing I would really like to happen with the original villain trio is for the abuse and the manipulation they are subjected to backfire. I would like for them to break free (with others’ help obviously because they can’t free themselves alone) by taking all these thematic truths they are told, so they can be manipulated, and to change them in teachings they can use against their abusers.

In short, I want Cinder to say...”Yeah, I do not need to be deserving of power because I am already worthy on my own”. And I want Mercury to free himself and to tell Tyrian...”This is what makes me happy”.

I think that this has partly happened with Emerald in the sense that Salem’s tactic to weaken her loyalty to Cinder through fear backfired:

Salem: Emerald... I want you to tell me whose fault this was. Now

Emerald: Cinder! We failed because of Cinder...

Salem: That's right. I want you to understand that failure. I want you to understand why Cinder must be left to toil in her isolation until she redeems herself.

The whole point of this interaction was to make Emerald submissive. It is clear Emerald is there for Cinder and not for Salem, so Salem frightened her and forced her to symbolically “betray” Cinder.

Still, this did not work for two reasons.

a) Emerald needs to see Cinder for who she is, so that she can break free from her.

b) Fear is among the factors that motivated Emerald to leave:

Yang: You're gonna have to try and summarize it. Why should we trust you?

Ren: Because she's scared. Just like us.

Not only that, but in an inversion of what usually happens with fear in the series, it is specifically because Emerald and JOYR are all scared that they can overcome their conflict and work together (as @echo-from-the-void​. noticed). Fear has separated our protagonists from the AceOps, but has brought them Emerald.

These are my main thoughts on the scene, thank you for the asks!

#rwby #rwby meta #cinder fall #arthur watts #emerald sustrai #rwby volume 8 #rwby spoilers #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

[danijimenezv]

Jill Valentine: All About the Past

Date of Birth: February 14th, 1992

Place of Birth: Manhattan, New York

Home: Valentine-Westbrook Estate, in the outskirts of Manhattan.

Family: She’s the third child of Haley (née Westbrook) and Matthew Valentine, and the second daughter. The oldest, Lucas Valentine, was born on January 12th, 1882, followed by Katherine Valentine, born on March 16th, 1884. The youngest, Ivy Valentine, was born on April 18th, 1994.

Growing up, Jill was a total daddy’s girl. And the Valentine girls had Matthew completely wrapped around their little fingers. He would go to the ends of the Earth if his girls asked him to. She wasn’t as close with her mother; the two of them had similar strong character, so they usually clashed, but their relationship was still strong. All of that was until the moment Jill decided to pursue human medicine instead of veterinary medicine, like she was supposed to. Her decision created a huge rift between them, and although they didn’t disown her and still paid for her education, her parents didn’t save their comments to themselves. Both of them, but especially her mother, made sure that she understood how disappointed they were in her. They thought she was throwing away her life, all they had built for her. Jill got used to those resentful comments and passive-aggressive remarks, but they still did their fair share of damage, and her relationship with her parents was never the same after that.

Jill is much closer with her older brother than with any of her sisters, because they share the most similarities, but the four of them are tight-knit. Lucas is ten years older than her, and the considerable age-gap caused their relationship to be as smooth as it could get between siblings. Since the moment she was born, Jill became Luke’s little princess, he spoils her immensely and he’s defensive and overprotective when it comes to her. In turn, Luke became Jill’s hero, and she looks up to him for absolutely everything. And when the time came, Luke was the one to really believe and support her, unlike their parents.

Her relationship with Katherine varies from time to time. Kat is eight years older than Jill, and acts as a protective and bossy older sister as much as she can. The age-gap is enough so they don’t exactly fight for possessions or games like a pair of sisters would. Though, much to Jill’s dismay, Katherine is almost an exact copy of their mother, so she clashes with her more than with the rest of her siblings. It also doesn’t help that Jill grew up being constantly compared to Katherine, so there’s a residual resentment underneath that make their relationship rocky from time to time. Still, the two love each other deeply and would do anything for one another.

With Ivy, the dynamic shifted, because she was no longer dealing with older siblings; with her, Jill became the older sister. she’s two years older than Ivy. She’s protective and defensive of her, but without being overbearing like their two older siblings would. Being closest in age, they shared most moments growing up and bonded over their similar experiences together. Between them, existed the usual fights for toys, games, clothes and make-up that didn’t exist with the other two, but also a better understanding of what the other was experiencing. Still, while Jill is a close copy of their older brother, Ivy resembles Katherine more, so they clash from time to time.

Jill grew up in a privileged home, as part of a wealthy family. Though, her parents didn’t want a nanny to raise their kids, so they got involved as much as they could and were really hands-on. They had a butler, Roman, that was just as involved as their parents, but never stepped in as a replacement for them. She grew up with three siblings, two older and one younger, in the family estate, in the outskirts of Manhattan.

Coming from a traditional family with old money, Jill’s upbringing was different from what anyone expected; it was a pretty strict environment. As per custom, at the age of six, each Valentine has to take a set of important decisions, established from generation to generation; they have to choose an artistic skill to develop, a music instrument, a language to study and a sport, so all of them would be educated in every area. Jill chose dancing, piano, French and tennis, respectively. And, coming from a family of veterinarians, at the age of ten each Valentine gets a pet, so they can learn to be responsible and mature from a young age; each of them are in charge of everything their pet might need, including food, exercise, medicines, etc. Jill’s first pet was a cat named Theo.

Even though she’s from a wealthy family, Jill was taught to do chores and earn everything by herself. She was taught to cook the basics, do laundry, sweep, vacuum, wash dishes, clean bathrooms, dust, mop, iron clothes, mow the lawn… And once she turned fifteen, she was also expected to work half-time two days a week at the Veterinary Hospital with her parents, to learn about hard work. She had a trust-fund, but she never used it because she only spent what she had truly earned.

Growing up, she also struggled with really connecting with people outside of her family. Because of her vibrant personality, Jill got along with everyone, but she only considered one of them her true friend, Hunter Griffin. Hunter and Jill became inseparable from the moment they met, when they were merely five years-old, and their friendship only grew stronger with time, and she was sure Hunter loved her for exactly who she was, that’s why it was easy to open up to him. Jill always hated how most of people either wanted her for her family’s fame or money, or expected her to be a clone of her older sister, so she learned to not get too attached to people, friendship-wise and relationship-wise.

All in all, it was a pretty strict and intense environment. It didn’t help that, in her eyes, her older sister, Katherine, was apparently perfect in every aspect, and Jill always felt like she was living in her sister’s shadow, being constantly compared to her. All of it combined only prompted Jill’s partying habit to break out, as a coping mechanism. And even if she partied up as a teenager, she was always the responsible one, never drinking nor doing drugs, but simply letting loose.

Even though Jill lived to her party girl reputation, she kept up her grades close to perfect, which was the main reason her parents could never ground her for going to any and every party and staying out all she wanted. She attended Léman Manhattan Preparatory School with perfect record. She kept up her GPA and was appointed Valedictorian and Prom Queen, just like the rest of her siblings and family members before them. As a teen socialite, she was constantly bothered by paparazzi and also quite under the spotlight, so every little thing she did ended up being public knowledge, to the point where she’s also been photographed for a few magazine issues. She was a debutante, like it was custom for everyone in her family, and has attended more balls, galas, reunions and charity events than any normal teenager. Though, even if she gained quite a reputation, in public events with her family she’s always been seen as polite, diplomatic, elegant, and downright charismatic, which earned the media’s favor.

Most of it continued all the way to college. She moved away from New York when she was accepted into Harvard; however, she wasn’t a known public figure in Boston, which was something she welcomed deeply, so she finally earned some peace and privacy. She toned down her party girl habits to only from time to time when she felt like it, and instead focused mainly on her studies. Jill quickly became the top student of her class and graduated with honors, part of it because it was something she was passionate about, and another part of it to prove her parents that this was the path for her.

From the moment she turned fifteen, her family set them up with one of her classmates, from another well-known family. His name was Augustus Danvers. The two of them got along great and even though they both tried to make it work, for their families’ sakes, they quickly discovered they didn’t have any actual romantic feelings for one another. Their first time was with each other, but not because there were feelings; it was more because they were used to each other and wanted to get over the curiosity. After that, they came to an agreement, to keep it an open relationship, where both of them could see other people and date whoever they wanted, but for family gatherings and social events, they pretended to be together. Even though they weren’t really together, they agreed to break-up, secretly, during winter break in their senior year, and later amicably broke-up in public after their prom dance.

It was Jill’s only ‘serious’ relationship. Given that she had learned to not get too attached to people, friendship-wise and relationship-wise because of her family name, she never got too close to anyone, and never felt the true want to commit to a single person. She had a long string of casual dates and hookups, but never an actual relationship. It also didn’t help that, from a young age, Jill was witness to Katherine’s devastating heartbreak after being left at the altar, and since that moment, Jill swore to never let that happen to herself. Though, she’s always honest with anyone she’s seeing about what she wants and what she doesn’t, because she would never get someone’s hopes up just to destroy them. She’s mature enough to know what to say to keep things honest and transparent, drama-free, and when to walk away when it’s not something that works for her or the other person.

Once she moved to Boston, she kept things short and casual with everyone. At Edenbrook, she pursued a friends-with-benefits, no-strings-attached kind of relationship with Bryce Lahela, and even went on a couple of casual dates with Rafael Aveiro. Though, Ethan was the game changer. She didn’t realize she was falling for him until it was too late and there was no going back.

Bonus:

A few of Jill’s magazine appearances

For @openheartfanfics Meet My MC Event ☺💕

Tags: @jamespotterthefirst, @takeharryandgo, @aestheticartsx, @choicesfanaf, @fireycookie, @liaromancewriter, @trappedinfanfiction, @tsrookie, @genevievemd, @lucy-268, @writinghereandthere, @queencarb, @gryffindordaughterofathena, @ohchoices, @anntoldst0ries, @bluebellot, @schnitzelbutterfingers, @mysticaurathings, @iemcpbchoices, @itsjustamesshonestly, @shanzay44, @lsvdw-blog, @heauxplesslydevoted, @starryeyedrookie, @casey-v​, @mercury84choices, @chaoticchopshopheart, @quixoticdreamer16

#open heart #my oh mc #my open heart mc #jillian valentine

[t4t-lumpygrab]

LSP for the character headcanons, please!! :o)

LSP!! MY BELOVED!! thank you for sending this ty so much... LSP... blorba from my shows.

-I think that I hc her to have a difficult relationship with her parents… semi cannon but not really bc the writers retconned her parents to go from being very abrasive and yelling at her to being super nice and concerned for her. I feel a bit :/ about removing LSP having a compelling reason for running away from home, as it feeds into her wider characterisation as a character who shouldn’t be taken seriously by making a huge part of her character (her living situation) into a joke about the capricious nature of teenage girls that she’d run away and be over dramatic for no reason, in favour of a compelling character arc about the effects of living in a household she suffers in. (In contrast, Marceline’s issues with her family are presented with humour, but also as genuine traumas. Like the fry song takes a similar overreaction joke and turns it into a deeper expression of her father’s lack of attention and love for her.) 

So I kind of imagine that her parents were quite controlling of her self expression and criticised her a lot. I think LSP’s exaggerated confidence and the callous way she treats people makes sense if she had this sort of upbringing. Like she pretends she’s better than she feels she is as a coping mechanism to make it harder to insult and hurt her, and she treats people cruelly because she’s been made to feel like she doesn’t really matter so her actions don’t really have an affect on people. That and she has massive social deficit from being in a household where she doesn't get to express herself or interact normally with her parents.

-I have a lot of thoughts on trans LSP. I think that LSP realised she was trans around 13 or so bc of dysphoria due to puberty, but that she spent age 12 dealing with very rough identity issues. I can see her really throwing herself into trying to be a boy and like… forcing herself to date Melissa when she really wants to BE her and just feeling awful about it all. I think she ided as gay initially and definitely took all the "am I gay?" "am I trans?" online quizzes and lied on all the questions to get "you are cishet" as an answer.

-I think LSP… is a furry. Like she gives off that “roleplayed warrior cats one too many times” vibe. (also lol the lsp birthing stick picture I'm obsessed) Has one of those 2000s sparkle wolf ocs. Would 100% wear those lil fursuit paw things if she could get some that fit her hands. 

-we are going deep into Charlie LSP daydream universe but I like to think she and Lg2 were online friends for a bit when she was 14 bc they both posted terrible quality vent fanart in whatever the Ooo equivalent of Deviantart is. Lg2 would occasionally drop v worrying things about their family situation in the middle of their my little pony discussion or whatever, and LSP would be 14 and not know how to respond beyond “ZOMG CANNIBALISM!! o.O” or something like that. She figures out years later after being with lg3 that this was in fact lg2 and feels very sad about it, and wishes she had done more to help them somehow.

-more trans LSP headcannons. So… I like to thing that lumpy people do have sexual dimorphisms that we don’t pick up on bc simplified art style. And that’s part of the reason why LSP prefers to live in Ooo, where people don’t know about her species so she’s not immediately recognisable as a trans girl. Specifically… her voice is deeper than Melissa’s and she has bigger hands, also the thickness of her fur and size plus sharpness of her teeth is bc trans. Plus we see that her dad has facial hair a different colour to his fur, so she has to deal with that too. Plus Melissa has white coloured eyes, as does her mother in her original appearance while Brad and her dad have black eyes, so having inverted sclera is another amab trait among lumpy people. She’s pretty upset about all this, especially her eyes and hands which can’t ever be changed.

#lsp #lumpy space princess #fan theory #that was my old tag I used for this stuff lol #ANYWAY LAALSSSAPP #trans tag #DO I HAVE A TRANS TAG??? I DON'T REMEBER #I should #ask to tag

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep7 (part 2)

Toxic kindness (Kureno):

I’ve touched upon this in se02 finale, but kureno’s toxic kindness mirrors the foolish traveler story. The foolish traveler says “ thank you” as he dies. Kureno ignores the knife in the hands of a person whom he saw with his own eyes abuse a number of children repeatedly. Kisa, Isuzu, hatori & yuki bodies testify of being beaten, cut, & bruised. Kyo’s psychological abuse was announced in front of kureno himself before akito summoned him in the beach arc. Akito has strangled her mom & screamed, cried & went manic in front of him. Yet, kureno walks toward her ignoring the knife, hugs her & tells her to press the button of change. Easy, right?

I highly respect the author that Akito didn’t respond positively. I don’t want kureno to be stabbed or want akito to run away & hurt the others.  Also, I hate cheap drama. So, I’ll never support dramatic confrontations just for the sake of it. I want a realistic depiction of trauma & mental illness. The person who lived her entire life entitled to be obeyed, feared & having extreme authority, won’t just change cuz a foolish guy told her to.

-The responsibility of Nurturing children:

Akito’s outburst represent the author’s view on the role of nurturing children properly to teach them to be decent human beings. Akito was raised with extreme views neglect & narcissism. You’re special & must be loved (said her dad), Others MUST obey you (said the old maid), No one truly loves you (said her mom). So, her entire life she craved showcasing her power over these unfortunate zodiacs as it stems from the notion that they live for her sake.

Tohru on the other hand was raised with compassion, love & appreciation of other ppl. Tohru being timid, shy or unable to stand for her self are personal struggles that tohru deals with & not related to nurturing , While her trauma might be caused by a parent, it didn’t prevent tohru from being a kind & compassionate person because she was raised & taught abt these things.

The faults of abusing a child might lead to create faulty mentality & social issues. these kids might even grow to implement similar abuse onto others, while all that is understandable, it will never excuse their behavior. A lot cases of real life abusers were once kids who were abused. It is tragic. It explains why they become the horrible person they are today, but it never excuses the harm of others. The victim is not responsible of your screwed upbringing. Kisa, kyo, yuki, & Isuzu have nothing to do with Akira, Ren or akito’s troubles. They are victims themselves but they didn’t go & inflect harm upon others. Yes, they each developed a faulty coping mechanism &  showed tendencies of rage, withdrawal, misplaced pain, but they were never a harm towards the society, & their peers.

Akito’s outburst paves the path for her redemption. How it will happen? I duno. Will someone once again holds her cheeks, talks her into bettering herself? I duno. She will atone. I can guess that based on the ED. but Will she be rightfully punished for her crimes? I duno. I hope so. Forgiveness is different from punishment. Thus, a type of punishment should be implemented. Abusers, whether victims or not, or atoned or not, must receive it. It is only fair.

- What will happen with tohru/ kyo’s confession/ confrontation? What is the exit from kyoko’s harsh last words! How can Furuba’s best mom hates kyo! My mind goes crazy!

Perhaps the following will happen:

(a) Kyo will confess the past, tohru forgive, kyo relieved, they kiss or whatever (happy ending). This could happen but while I would be happy for them, I’d hate that kyo’s entire trauma goes away with a simple “ I forgive you/ I love you”. Trauma doesn’t have a button you magically shut down. Kyo must unload his burden first! open his lid, then deal with it. Also, How will kyoko’s last words fit here? Are they just kyo’s imagination? really? it seems so anti-climatic. Imagine living with kyoko’s words for two seasons only for it to be in kyo’s mind! I really need kyoko to have bigger role than simple imagination. She’s either a haunting ghost or a holy perfect mother, rarely a real human character. Also, I need to include Akito. In this happy version, Akito gets stopped by shigure or even yuki! .. possible but too light for all the buildup drama & endless cliffhangers! lol

(b) Kyo will confess the past, tohru won’t forgive, kyo hurts himself as he sees her pain (dark ending). This ending is too dark for both. kyo hearing tohru’s words of un-forgivness will echo what he himself believe in he should be. Then where is hope for him? T_T Tohru not being able to forgive is logical since her mom is her world, but it also further ties tohru to her mom. She’ll be stuck again remembering her mom’s tragic words & last moment. Also, tohru will loose another person she loves even more than her mom. Here Akito will interfere somehow. Perhaps tries to kill tohru, then kyo sacrifices himself saving her. I duno.. too dark for furuba! lol

Ok. I give up. Anything I think gets stopped by kyoko’s words. I need kyo to push tohru away cuz this is the only logical progression for his trauma! I refuse to believe that kyo’s trauma was pushed into the climax & was written to embody furuba’s most mature themes of guilt, self-forgiveness, repeated mistakes, depression & others only to be quickly solved. But, tohru’s own issues were quickly presented & addressed in one short ep so..... augh! I want to hope for more from tohru, but I duno.. her growth has been so inconsistent, & I’m tired of being disappointed.

Next ep could either become furuba’s best ep or the worst ever!!! & this scares me so much. 

Side Notes:

Kyo was repeatedly punished for his mistakes & faulty coping mechanism throughout the series, He is yet to be forgiven by someone or forgive himself. But he has been living the punishment of his own trauma.

Why is momiji still speaking German in the dub? I know his curse break is a secret, but He’s still holding on the facade of identifying with a rabbit in his burger, imitating his mom’s accent as he’s still so attached to her. I thought he let go of the past while bravery acknowledging it & moved on. Starting brighter, happier & with more hope. He isn’t still holding on to pain. He is looking forward now. =/

At first, i didnt recognize the room tohru & kyo are eating in! XD. It’s their living room, right? first time seeing it with all doors closed. weird.XD

Seeing Hiro’s curse break further reinforces that there is no logic on its breaking order. It just breaks. that’s all. If there is any reason behind it, then, momoji should be the first. He had always developed outside relationships with others way before tohru & not exclusive to her. Seeing as he has lots of friends playing with him. Also, he has always dealt with his own issues with level headed perspective, never too absorbed in sadness, never too self-focused, he never withdrew or lashed out. He never looked down on kyo, heck! I’ll argue that he even looked up to him!. hiro could've happened earlier too, as he was always protected from trauma & in a loving home, then yuki as he not only opened his lid but told akito in her face that he will forgive her & decided to never be by her side. His curse should have broken right on se02, ep25. You can place anyone afterwards. So, yeah, the curse just breaks, perhaps akito herself has a role as her insecurities increases. duno.

I dont care for the curse itself at all. As far as I’m concerned it is (a) fun gimmick, (b) analogy for abuse & trauma. The later is the core of furuba.

plz let next ep be well-done, well-written & well-direct. plz! T_T

#Fruits Basket #scared paper #Anime Only

[mkstrigidae]

Okay so I'm making my way through your masterlist and I'm in love?? Like let's start off with Winter's Child- a masterpiece. You make Sansa a loving and relatable character and interweave the powers into cannon in a way that actually makes cannon make more sense (preconceived biases and such). Jon and Sansa's relationship is SO SWEET and they way they bonded was absolutely adorable (and the backstory with the houses and the powers they have make so much sense) 1/3

(2/3) Neon Rain literally the best Cyberpunk AU! I've ever read. Like what you did with the world building?? The stark class differences (haha see what I did there?), the choices in SOUND, and I could FEEL myself there! I love the family dynamics between the Starks and I'm loving the little details you're dropping with the Greyjoy's , Jon's parentage, and all of the medical procedures. Jon is dramatic af and I love it and Sansa is a bamf AS SHE SHOULD. Nothing but love for this

(3/3) A Past Worth Having has a special place in my heart. You build up this setting like a tapestry, just seeing more richness and depth the longer you look. I'm proud of Sansa for holding her composure, just FEELING in the angst that the older Starks feel at her return, and loving the relationships with Robin and the rest of the Starks + Jon Arryn. The detail that you're putting into the investigation/Oberyn is awe inspiring and I can't wait to see what you do next with the trial + Jonsa

Haha thank you so much!!! This is such a sweet ask to get! My response is under a cut, because this might get kind of long! (lots of my own meta below, bc i accidentally had a lot to say, haha)

With ‘Winter’s Child’ I’ve really enjoyed weaving in fantasy elements to the world because I like to look at stories and pick at loose threads until they unravel and asking ‘what if?’. I thought it would be a super interesting concept to take a character like Sansa, who in ASOIAF is exactly what she is supposed to be as a noblewoman of her class and conforms very well in that role, and put her in a position where she was essentially a societal outcast in a lot of ways! In WC, Sansa has a lot of similar coping mechanisms to ASOIAF Sansa, in that she sort of romanticizes society to avoid thinking about how absolutely awful it is. In ASOIAF, Sansa holds tight to the notion of knights and chivalry and courtly love to cope with the fact that she essentially has no control over her future and, as a woman, is basically property. In WC, I have her really struggling to make herself into that perfect lady and using that as a sort of shield to the fact that, without a gift, there isn’t anything she can do to improve her lot in life. Sansa has these ideas about becoming a perfect lady and hoping that being perfect in other areas will ‘make up’ for what society perceives as deficient about her, but is more jaded than ASOIAF Sansa due to her age and her earlier exposure to the ills of society. So you get a Sansa who gets along better with Arya and Jon as a result, in part because she’s had that exposure to what it’s like to be an outcast in society. I think that the best fantasy has a really strong emotional backdrop (a really great example is ‘Fruits Basket’ which starts by hooking you with this wacky, fun premise about people in a family turning into animals when hugged by a member of the opposite sex, and slowly builds into a point where you can see that the family ‘curse’ is a representation of generational and familial abuse- of bonds that should be broken, and of bonds that may kill us even as we cling to them- it’s extremely complex and rich and if you haven’t read or watched it, I can’t recommend it highly enough), and so while I really love writing about the fantasy aspects, and writing scenes where Sansa does really cool things with her ice powers, the core of the story is really about Sansa coming into her own, and learning that she was a person who was worth something even without any sort of gift. Sort of overcoming societal stigma and realizing your worth and forcing others to see it. It’s so much fun to write, but i’m stuck at the moment, because i need to reread the books, and my roommate is borrowing them right now haha!

God, APWH is like, indulging my inner world-building suspense-narrative loving writer persona. It’s literally my all time favorite trope- which is of someone growing up to find out that they’re a long-lost somebody or have family they never knew about- combined with a lot of research on trauma (which i’ve been doing for academic and other reasons for a while) and a lot of slowly growing psychological horror courtesy of Petyr Baelish (trust me, it’s going to get WAY more intense). There are so many pieces of media that I love, but I think that GRRM has so many characters and such a well fleshed out world that it’s very fun to dive into his worlds and create something there. Inherently, I love a slowly unraveling mystery and morally gray characters, and this is allowing me to indulge in both!!! World-building is my favorite, because i tend to be fairly detail oriented, and i’ve been laying bread crumbs in so many places throughout the story to hopefully build up to a decent conclusion! I know sort of how it ends, and I think people are going to absolutely lose their minds if I execute it correctly. We have a few chapters to go until we get to anything in the semblance of a trial- there’s some more emotional aspects that I think need to get addressed first, and so I’m so grateful that people are so supportive of being willing to wait for the Jonsa, because they really start spending a lot of time with each other during the trial and prior to the trial (i’m a big believer in bonding via long car rides and so there’s a lot of that!). I’m just so humbled and awed by the response to it- I never dreamed that people would enjoy the story this much- when I started it, I was writing a light-hearted family piece that wouldn’t be too long, and, uh, it kind of evolved from there. Clearly, I am not good at keeping things concise haha.

I left Neon Rain for last, because your comments on this one really made me smile! Of all of my stories, oddly enough, Neon Rain is actually the most deeply personal for me, and I’m just so flattered at your kind words! I spend a lot of my time thinking about the flaws inherent in our society, and without getting too detailed, Sansa’s experience with a family member struggling in the medical system is not unfamiliar to me. There’s a weight that comes with the realization that a system that is supposed to care for people is based on capitalistic ideals of profit maximization, and as someone who has experience working in the healthcare system- no matter how bad you think it is in the US, I can promise you it’s actually worse.

Neon Rain actually just started out as a series of mental images from listening to music that I had to get down on paper, and evolved from there. I actually really love the ‘soulmates’ and ‘class differences’ and ‘mastermind art thief’ tropes, but am incapable of writing fun stories without thinking about the reality of those tropes (see APWH for another extreme example of this haha), and so as I was writing and trying to capture this mental image, the rest of the world began unfolding around me. Jon is different because of a different upbringing here, and so is Sansa, and to see the formerly idealistic Sansa become so jaded by the time she meets her soulmate is just catnip for me. You have this interesting dynamic between them, because Jon wants nothing more than to have Sansa in his life, and give her everything she wants and needs, but where the old Sansa (who was arguably middle-class and somewhat naive, as financially secure teenagers understandably tend to be) would have swooned over that, the Sansa who meets Jon when the story begins is seeing the world and all the unfair and unequal systems in it. She can’t just live happily ever after with him right away- there’s a sense of guilt there, of sansa not feeling like she deserves nice things, and there’s also Sansa’s deep sense of compassion and kindness that won’t allow her to just live life as the well taken-care-of girlfriend of a wealthy man, because she isn’t able to just put on blinders and pretend that all the injustice in the world around her doesn’t exist, simply because it wouldn’t affect her that way anymore.

I think that the core to writing Sansa, for me, in any universe, is that she is a kind and compassionate person who is capable of feeling sympathy towards even the people who have done horrific things to her and her family- that emotional awareness and empathy is a harsh thing to have in a world like Neon Rain, and in our own world, honestly. I’m so glad that you appreciate Sansa’s BAMF-ness in the story- I think that her chapters demonstrate that she is capable of doing extraordinary things when she’s doing them for people she cares for, to be kind (The scene where Alayne helps Robin down from the eyrie is most indicative of this I think), and so in this world, I just love having Sansa be a complete badass out of necessity. Also, it’s fanfiction, and I really wanted to give Sansa a cool motorcyle, because no one else was gonna do it!!!

Also, my characters like to run away with me, and before I knew it, Rodrik Greyjoy had a huge adorable crush on Sansa in the story that I immensely enjoy writing. The Greyjoys are fun because they’re all absolutely insane, and i’m a total sucker for ‘gruff dangerous character is completely a sucker for the kind sunshine-y character’ trope.

God, this accidentally got really long??? I’m sorry- thank you so much for such a kind ask!!! I love hearing what people think of my stories, and this was so sweet :)

#my writing #joanofarkansass #ask answers

[sagestupidity]

Upcoming long-ass post ahead. Warning you now. It goes deep and it is long. There is a lot of personal information, but I wanted to get it out there for pride month. There is a tl;dr at the end. If tumblr mobile allowed for a page break like the old days, I'd use it now

Tw: homophobia, religious bigotry, sexuality, biphobia

I remember the first time I heard about homosexuality. I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, at daycare, in a tree house with 2 other kids my age. They had just learned a new word and were throwing it around every other sentence that day. Lesbian. "What, are you a lesbian?", "so and so is a lesbian hahaha" "only a lesbian would say something like that". I had no idea what this word meant, I was a sheltered 8 or 9 year old. These daycare friends explained what it meant. "It's when girls like other girls, like boyfriend and girlfriend, but they're both girls". For a half second, my world was rocked. I had no idea that was something someone could do. That was a option? 🎆. Before I could even think about it further, the next sentence came out of their mouth "that's so gross, right?". Well shit, they were explaining it to me, they must have been the expert. "Yeah, that's so gross". I couldn't possibly be a lesbian, I'm not gross, I'm Megan, I like bubble baths and art and fairytale stories of princes and princesses. I'm not gross, and therefore definitely not a lesbian.

When I got a bit older about ages 10-12, my parent's signed me up for a week of vacation Bible school out in Pine Idaho every summer. For most of those summers, I went with my mom's boss's granddaughter who was about my age. Her name was Alex. She was super cool and a nice friend. Very much a typical tom boy. Had a bionicle collection, wore a lot of sporty clothes, even got some of her clothes from the boy section. I was sooo jealous of how cool Alex was. But whenever I was shopping with my mom, and tried to pick out less feminine items, I'd get lectured "that's for boys Megan, you can't have that, it's weird that you like this, Megan". no matter how much I liked it, how much I thought about how Alex was allowed to branch out like that. Why couldn't I?

From then to grade 7, I was in my femme bubble. I wore a ton of pink, because I looked up to Elle Woods from legally blonde. I'd have an occasional crush on the class emo. Loving long hair and eyeliner on guys, but otherwise despising everyone else in middle school because i was getting bullied mercilessly. I reclused into books and movies, like Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean

I was transfered to Idaho arts charter school. Where the girl to boy ratio was about 7 to 1. We had no sport program besides competitive dance. My family started going to a WELS lutheran church, and for a while, none of this conflicted. Little did I notice, that my church and my upbringing were compiling into some bad homophobia on my part. I was taught that gay people were against God and were going to hell. Gay people were "gross" after all. I was told by my own parents that if I *became* a lesbian, they'd drag me to the pastor's house and have an exorcism performed on me. The idea of even kissing a girl with romantic intent made my stomach flip and my chest hurt. That's just proof of how disgusting and wrong it is... right?

But being in a school dedicated to the performing arts eventually caught up with that. Sure there were gay kids at my school. Our main export was musical theater and dance. But I wasn't friends with any of them, so it was fine. Until someone from my friend group came out. For his privacy, I'll call him A, since I still know people that know him IRL. I had been friends with A for a while before he came out as gay. I wouldn't say we were close, but I'd say we were friends. When he did come out as gay, it was like a dumb homophobic light went out. A wasn't any different just because he was gay, he was still my friend, and nothing changed except my worldview.

Nothing.else.changed.

Whenever I brought A up when telling a story to my parents, they'd interrupt with "you mean the friend that's going to hell" as if that was his name and they were correcting me now that he was an out gay teen. I dug my heels in and became a gay ally for my friend, A. Delving into gay rights as a special interest.

By the time I was 16, I was approaching the next metaphorical hurdle. I noticed I didn't really have any crushes... on anyone. I had friends. I liked fictional characters from books and anime and the occasional celeb. I just thought I had high standards for boys I would date. But I couldn't like girls. What would that even look like? It was pre 2010. The only girls into girls I ever saw were on posters in boy's rooms, or straight girls kissing to get male attention. It took a lot of work to realize God didn't hate gay people and even more work to realize that that could apply to me too. I came out as bi to only my friends at age 17.

I graduated, went off to college. Got a dorm mate, who we will call M. M was also bi, and she had the experience to back it up, supposedly. More experience than me, who hadn't really dated anyone at all. M somehow forced me back in the closet. She insisted I wasn't bi because I had never dated or kissed or anything with a woman. I had just barely had my first kiss with anyone that summer. I was only "bicurious" because how could I possibly know until I finally had experience like she did. So I shrunk myself, and only saw boys, because they gave me attention. Girls only saw me as straight, because I wasn't bi, I was "bicurious".

It took a lot of work to bust out of the bi closet a second time.

I lived my life as a bi woman. Constantly changing my spot on the kinsey scale until these past 7 years or so. I made a realization.

I don't really like guys. I'd sleep with them. I appreciated the validation I felt when I did. But I didn't really like them.

So I juggled with the queer label. Because my sexuality was complicated. Sure, I'd sleep guys, didn't mean I was attracted to them, it's not like it meant anything.

Any time I tried on the lesbian label, I'd get yelled at by a lesbian for being biphobic. They'd say stuff like "lesbians don't like guys", "stop bring men into lesbianism" "lesbians don't want to sleep with guys". No amount of me explaining that I don't like men would convince them. So back to the queer label I went.

I got married to a woman in 2019. And was content with the queer label.

But this year, 2021-

I started reading The Lesbian Document™. Learning that my occasional crush on a male celeb didn't really count as attraction to men.(sorry Bo Burnham).

I made a bit of a realization. I knew I didn't really like men, I was just ok with the idea of sleeping with them. But the idea of being with men felt similar to binge drinking.

They were both

Easily accessible

Toxic

Dangerous/thrilling

Coping mechanisms for deeper issues

I realized I was using the idea of sex with men as self harm, and I should probably stop that.

To wrap up this whole long-ass biography- I'm coming out a third time.

My name is Megan.

I'm 28 years old.

My pronouns are she/they.

And I'm a lesbian.

tl;dr:

#coming out #lesbian #lgbt #pride #gay