#they are literally my family :')) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gavily · 11 months

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this picture just saved my mental health

#pablo gavi #gavi #robert lewandowski #they are literally my family #💙❤️

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roppiepop · 3 months

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Who’s coming to the cookout?

#bruce wayne #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #batman #red robin #dc robin #batgirl #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #roppie tries to draw #WE ARE GOING TO IGNORE that comic where bruce seems to be able to cook now #bcs this has been in my drafts for literal years lmao thats how slow i am w these #this comic is also known as ‘wordless communication: how well your family knows you’#dont think too much abt the particulars abt any aspect of this ok 😃👍#i had fun playing around w how i color thinngs i hope its not too messy!!#WAIT DOES THIS SAY COOK-OFF I MEANT COOKOUT!!!!!!!!#(its not a roppie piece without a typo but please OTL read that as i intended im on the ground

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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galactic-rhea · 2 months

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Ah yes, the "evil" family.

I thought it would be even more funny if it was Luke, of all people, the one who wanted to watch Bloodbath in the Black Moon of the Dragon System.

First || Next

#star wars #sw #star wars fanart #skywalker family #darth vader #princess leia #leia organa #luke skywalker #my art #star wars au #anakin skywalker #why would vader want to watch a slasher movie? that's his day to day #he would be annoyed at how irrealistic the murders are or something #now a space opera (but make it literal) with music? alien stuff #totally crazy the most obvious tropes are shocking

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littlefankingdom · 2 months

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Talia introduced Damian to Bruce as "their second child", and now Bruce is mentally panicking because there's another one, somewhere, when this unspoken first child is Jason.

#bruce wayne #jason todd #talia al ghul #damian wayne #batman #red hood #robin #dc comics #I'm cooking over here #my ramblings #No Talia and Jason didn’t fuck she literally raised him when he was an unstable teenager #she literally raised him because she wanted to play family with Bruce #she's a fucked up mom but she wants the best for her babies

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beleth · 2 years

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All ill say if the us supreme court decides to turn over the indian child welfare act and i don't see white people talking about it, especially white lgbt people, i will be pissed

Edit: Turned off reblogs bc it was upheld! Yippee!

#the adoption system was literally used to strip indigenous people of our cultures #both in canada and the us #this shit is personal to my family #and im constantly doubting if i should even call myself indigenous bc of it and grr bark growl

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thymechaos · 13 days

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i just can't believe that oda fucking create sanji, a stereotypical ladies man who simps to an embarrassing degree for women while having his hackles comically raised around everyone he perceives as a man - and most notably butting heads with the more obvious ~manly man~ of the crew. haha, classic anime running gag, the kind that gets obnoxious at times but still makes you laugh.

AND THEN, like a billion chapters later, motherfucker steeples his fingers and goes "soooooooo... what makes a person Like That?"

and the answer is that he grew up in fucking Toxic Masculinity, The Kingdom. the answer is that he was always Different, in a way other guys instinctively perceived as weak, and that made him the target of visceral scorn and violence. the answer is that he was sensitive, sweet, caring, nurturing - feminine-coded traits which are only valued by patriarchy insofar that they're performed by women in service of men. the answer is that in a kingdom comprised almost entirely by violent men, the only ones who were ever kind to him, the only safety he ever had, were a girl and a woman.

so cooking is for women and servants, it makes you less of a man. only women will ever really value you for your passions and dreams. women are also actively hurt by the way the world works, they are unsafe unless they comply with men's violence, and you have to protect them.

(men will always know what you are, and they will hurt you if you let them.)

and even after he leaves... at baratie he is cherished and respected, but even that is an extremely masculine environment. we don't talk about our feelings, we don't let our guard down, the only love is tough love. when he tries to express his artistry and express himself through his cooking, rather than just filling orders and making money, he gets mocked.

so here is a man who will not raise a hand to a woman, because he rejects the masculinity he was raised with and refuses to become yet another man subjecting women to violence. he is desperate for women's attention and affection because it's SAFE, it's the only kind he can trust. other men are potential threats and must be treated as such. he must at all times be snarky, tough, Not Feminine, because to be perceived otherwise is to be powerless, to be hurt.

like y'all. the queer coding of it all? the overtly feminist themes? the active rejection of toxic masculinity and the way it's shown to be directly tied to imperialism? what the fuck.

#one piece #black leg sanji #sanji #vinsmoke sanji #one piece meta #i have more thoughts #I will yell about them later #When I'm not at work #With a literal baby on my arm #but anyway fuck the vinsmoke family #they fucked up a perfectly good bisexual is what they did

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aerequets · 7 months

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